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#and it takes A Lot to be able to be in the monkey suit and act like yourself an not a monkey yk

shaisuki · 3 months

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geto suguru splurging the large amount of donations for your kimonos. how nasty and ungrateful of him for the donors but it's well spent and there's no guilt about considering they are monkeys who have money and it's better to use it for you.

he loves how fitted the kimonos are adorning to your plush body. it's like they are second skin to you from how comfortable it was. always the best for you. commissioning artisans whose crafts are honed for a long time with hands that are made for creating that piece of clothing. sewing intricate patters with embroidery attached with stories to suit your style and his tastes. it takes months to complete but it only takes for a second for him to rip it from your body.

not even being able to feel an ounce of guilt despite the time it took to create and the pout in your face for wasting such piece of art. he only shushes you with a kiss. saying that he can commission again from those artisans to create you new ones.

cause no matter how expensive you wear, it's nothing how much you look better naked for him. your delectable body for him to taste while he slowly removes his gojo-kesa.

“it's not a waste nor to be given any attention of. you look better naked, my love.” he would assure you. dipping for a kiss. his large hands caressing your supple body. pinching and kneading the exposed flesh while he spreads your chunky legs and only to reveal what he's been dying to taste. your fat cunt, slick and warm for him to lick and drill his cock in between them.

money's not a problem for him. really. not when there's a lot of monkeys with money at his disposal. they're useless and a waste of space and reek of filth so what's better is he's putting them for a use while he spoils you rotten.

#꩜ ⋮ shai's thirst/drabbles⸝⸝#chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader #plus size reader #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto x chubby reader #geto x reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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archivistofnerddom · 11 months

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Batch Headcanons — Bed Sharing and Bedtime Snuggles with a Partner (SFW)

This is safe for work and all ages, so no worries on that front.

Hunter

This man’s senses are always working, so he has a hard time settling down to sleep. In a perfect world, he would have the right environment to let him sleep every night. But, of course, he doesn’t have that.

But he likes to snuggle with you. Having you next to him helps him soothe and settle.

He will focus on the smell of your hair or the way you breathe as you fall asleep. Paying attention to those small details calms him immensely.

Hunter will curl into you, letting the senses of you wash over him completely. This man is a cuddler and generally a big spoon, holding you close to him.

Whenever either of you are away from one other for whatever reason, he doesn’t sleep as well. Life is stressful, and he has a milieu of reasons why he won’t sleep well.

But that gets easier after you start wearing his sweatshirts or large soft shirts to bed and then sneaking them into places he’ll find whenever you have to sleep apart. He loves the gesture. Being able to focus on one sense, on one smell, keeps him from getting overwhelmed when he’s trying to fall asleep . And then he holds you close when you’re home and sharing a bed again.

Crosshair

Crosshair is a skittish feral cat with an injured paw. He has been through a lot and has trust issues because of his past. Approaching sharing a bed with him takes time and patience.

Being a calm and steady presence while he falls asleep and when he wakes up again counts for a lot to him.

He isn’t immediately a cuddler, but he will brush his fingers against your hand or arm or back while he sleeps or dozes. Those little touches are his reassurances that you’re still there.

The man runs cold, so blankets, sweatpants and sweatshirts, and socks are a must for him. Crosshair almost cries when you buy him a weighted and quilted blanket. He is both warm and calmed as he sleeps.

When he does relax and realize you aren’t going anywhere, this man is such a little spoon. He likes being in close proximity to you and being held. Being close to you reassures Crosshair that he has someone who cares for him right there.

He isn’t good at saying “I love you” out loud. However, he says it all the time when he presses in close to you and snuggles up against you at night.

Tech

Guess who has figured out the ideal temperature for both of you to get a good night’s sleep while snuggling? This guy.

Perfect number of blankets to room temperature ratio. (It’s endearing that he figured out the right ratio for you, since it means he’s paying attention to you and your specific nuances.)

His brain doesn’t shut off easy, so it’s hard for him to fall asleep. When you present with the concept of natural noise to lull him to sleep, Tech latches on to that idea quickly. He takes your sleep needs into consideration and develops a playlist that suits you both (usually thunderstorms and ocean waves on a beach).

Tech struggles to put down his data pad when he’s in bed. However, he’s willing to try when you explain that setting it aside for a while before bedtime will help him fall asleep. (Anything for a science experiment, and it does help.)

When he does fall asleep, Tech sleeps hard, as in he won’t wake up unless there is literally a klaxon sounding right next to him.

He is a spider monkey when he sleeps. Tech clings to you, his legs twisted through yours and his arms around you. He nuzzles in close and finds you to be a calming presence.

Wrecker

Literal ultimate big spoon and personal space heater.

Once you mention that you like to sleep in a cold room so that you can snuggle up under blankets or with a partner, his brain just light-bulbs. He’s immediately files that away for future use and deploys it with great effect. Wrecker is nothing if not very aware of his partner’s needs and likes. (Someone rolled high on emotional intelligence.)

He’s also aware of how large he is, so he doesn’t hold you too tightly when he holds you at night (unless you ask him to). He keeps his hold loose enough if you want or need to squirm out of his embrace for any reason. He also loves it when he registers that you snuggle back into his embrace in the middle of the night, if you had to get up for a midnight bathroom break.

Having you in his arms when he wakes up makes him so unbelievably happy. This man lives to protect those he loves. If you also happen to be holding Lula while you sleep in his arms, he’s a big old softie and will basically melt.

Wrecker is also functionally a weighted blanket for you. His heart swells with love the first time you pass out quickly in his arms as he holds you.

Just because he’s a natural big spoon doesn’t mean he doesn’t love it when you (try to) spoon him. Usually that means your arm slips under his armpit and your leg goes over his hip. Wrecker knows he’s a big man, and he finds you doing that adorable. He’ll usually slip his hand into the bend of your knee and shift it to a comfy spot for you both.

Echo

Echo has his fair share of insecurities and body image issues after what he survived at the hands of the Techno Union on Skako Minor. Losing three limbs takes a lot out of a person. Sharing that with someone he cares about deeply isn’t easy.

He is tense the first time you share a bed with him. This stems from his prosthetics and what he looks like without them. It takes a lot for him to feel comfortable sleeping without them, especially after sleeping with them on due to the war and being in the run. You being patient with him gives him the confidence to try sleeping without them.

He sleeps so hard the first time he takes them off for bed. Maybe it has to do with you holding him and curling around him, or the way you gently massage his limbs to work out the tension he has after wearing them for so long. Being so vulnerable with someone in bed helps a lot.

Echo loves having you snuggle into his left side and press your face into his left shoulder. It means that he can hold you properly with his one good arm.

He doesn’t say it, but he also loves the way you sneak your legs between his and the way you cup his right elbow with your hand and arm. It makes him feel whole in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. Having you hold him so tenderly is reassuring.

This man is also the king of sleepy, gentle kisses to the side of your head. He is sweet and soft and warm, snuggling close to you.

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hollandsfavbabe · 21 days

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Peter's Precarious Polyjuice Potion - part 2

Part 1

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which you and peter are forced to take extreme lengths to protect your secret relationship with the help of your shape shifting powers

warnings: lying, extreme secrecy, a very flawed plan, made up asgardian traditions, end of a secret relationship

word count: 9.3k

a/n OMG IT'S FINALLY HERE! I'm so sorry for how long it took (life's a lot to handle sometimes), but isn't it so worth it?? Nearly 10K words, she's a big one. Stay tuned for a very special announcement tomorrow, possibly involving a new series about some very magical characters ⚡🦁! Without further ado, please enjoy this very lengthy part two! I hope you love it as much as I loved writing it.

With only a little more than 24 hours to prepare for the impromptu family dinner, you and Peter wasted little time (other than the 30 minutes spent celebrating your stroke of genius). You spent the entire night practicing shifting in between forms; MJ for you and Flash for Peter.

While transfiguring your figure to match MJ’s wasn’t much of a challenge, you found it exciting getting to practice on another human, something you had never tried with your powers before. At first you had to retain physical contact with Peter to hold his transformation as Flash, clutching onto his hand as you perfected every portion of his to match the yearbook portrait reference you had of the obnoxious boy. Eventually, you started getting the handle on holding his transformation without touching him and then progressed to being able to change him from opposing sides of his bedroom with the simple swish of your finger.

Once all the technical work was figured out, you focused on perfecting the individual aesthetics and mannerisms of your faux significant others. For Peter, you stole one of Bruce Banner’s compression button ups that resembled something one of Flash’s butlers would’ve dressed him as and transfigured a lightsaber slap bracelet into the same ritzy watch that you’d seen on Flash’s sickly wrists from days he had haraseed you on Campus. Unlike Peter, who was fortunate to still attend school in New York, Flash had followed you to MIT which allowed you to develop a form for Peter that was closer to the person he was now and help him slip into character.

One of Peter’s flannels sufficed for your own transformation into MJ, but neither of you had quite the right dark bottoms outside of Peter’s Night Monkey suit from your SHIELD hijacked senior trip. You tried to call her as she had remained one of your closest friends, but it always went to her voicemail no matter how many times you tried. You figured she was still in school as resorted to a midnight trip to the nearest Target, picking up a pair of black jeans that you thought suited her. Of course becoming MJ to date Peter publicly wasn’t ideal, but it was so much better than having to change into Flash.

By morning you both felt confident in your disguise and focused on narrowing down the specifics of your plan. Before long, it was time for your scheme to turn into a reality.

As previously decided, you and Peter left the Campus under the guise of two platonic friends going their separate ways to pick up two beloved dates. In reality, while your father and Pepper were hard at work in the kitchen. You transformed your cars to resemble the area of forest around them and returned to Peter’s room to get ready, evading the cameras with the same transformative tactic. Simple objects like cars were much easier for you to transform, meaning holding it wouldn’t be a challenge. People on the other hand, were much more complicated and a successful heist of this nature would require full activation of your powers. It would be exhausting, but you knew you could do it. You were determined to succeed, another blessing that accompanied your inherited stubbornness.

You and Peter lounged about in his room undetected by the others for around an hour, the amount of time it took to pick up ‘MJ’, before it was time to start the show. You both dressed and hobbled over to Peter’s window where he jumped before you. Upon receiving his shout of survival, you also shimmied out and jumped into Peter’s waiting arms below as he caught you with ease.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, setting you down on the ground while keeping an arm locked around your waist. As your boyfriend, he knew what a transformation of this size meant in relation to your health and worried as the considerate person he was.

You enclosed his hands in your own and closed your eyes. With a deep breath, you allowed the familiar skin-tingling sensation to surround you as your form was replaced with MJ’s. You open your eyes to meet the dark sea of murky brown enclosed in Peter’s and shoot him an assured smile along with a nod of approval.

“Let’s do this.”

It was with his hand entwined with yours that you made your way to the entrance of the most hospitable area of the campus where you knew the kitchen resided. The normally undecorated door sported a festive green wreath with red bows and silver bells embedded on the small branches as you rapt upon the wood and stepped head first into the lion den.

“I’m back!” Peter called, and immediately you two were greeted by Steve at the door. He took Peter’s coat from him like the old-fashioned gentlemen he was and as he turned to get yours, you had to fight hard to suppress the urge to smile at him like usual. Your persona has changed, you remind yourself, and the girl you’ve taken on does not smile at strangers. Ever. Instead you acknowledged Steve as stone faced as possible in the same manner MJ would’ve if she had done it herself.

“Nice to meet you MJ,” Steve smiled as he extended his hand to you, gesturing towards the thick flannel you had on. “May I take your coat?”

You eyed him down and shook your head.

“No, I like the cold.” you mumbled and walked off to the main room where Peter and the rest of the Avengers were so anxiously awaiting you, your father setting the last dishes on the table as they came out of the steaming kitchen.

“MJ!” he bellowed through the mass of hungry heroes at the sight of you and you can't help but feel strange about being called something other than the several names he had given you over his many years raising you. “We’re so glad to have you. Peter’s told us so much about you!”

You looked at your father with the same expression you had seen MJ give strangers many times before and nodded as he came forward, careful not to match his smile. You had to be absolutely unreadable, especially around your father or else your plan was sure to fail.

“Thanks for the invite. I’m happy to be here.” you recited in your practiced monotone voice, closely resembling MJ’s, but not quite mimicking it. You could feel your heart start pounding as your father eyed you with suspicion, his eyes narrowing at you.

“Have we met before? I feel like I know your voice from somewhere.”

You gulped as silently as you could, fighting hard against your nerves as your palms began to sweat. You balled them up before the perspiration could drip and gave a simple shake of your head, trying to stay as close to MJ as possible.

“I don’t believe so.” you stared him down with a classic MJ look; eyes in a half-lidded gaze and lips upturned into a bored sort of state.

“Hmm.” your father paused to ponder, his eyes scanning down to your balled fists that gave off a contradicting message to the thoughtless aura you aimed for. It was by the grace of a higher power that Pepper finally swooped in to save you, laughing angelicaly at Tony’s antics.

“Give her some space Tony! She’ll never come back if she thinks she’ll be suffocated.” she grinned and latched onto one of the arms he held propped upon his hips to pull him away from you. Instead she pushed him in the direction of the nicely set table and gestured for the others to take a seat.

“We just finished setting everything up, except for the main courses, so you’re welcome to come take a seat, MJ.” she offered, plopping down to the left of your father once he was settled in the head chair. You took note of the others as Bucky, Sam, Steve, Thor, and Natasha took their respective seats, leaving four empty chairs reserved for the couples that were supposedly attending.

Peter was by your side in an instant as if he could read the thoughts of doubt racing through your head. He took your hand and squeezed ever so slightly to remind you that neither of you were alone and that he wasn’t going anywhere. You wished you could show him how grateful you were for him, but even the semblance of a smile would’ve given you away to the others. Yet even under your mask, Peter could read you. It was a talent he had adopted from years of being around you and no matter what you put off for others, somehow he always knew.

He led you to your seats and pulled out a chair for you before claiming his own seat in between you and Bucky. You began to dish yourself up small helpings of every dish that was indicated as vegetarian friendly, a gesture from Pepper after Peter had told her about the real MJs dietary restrictions. You were lucky most of her sides ended up being meat-free naturally as any extra miles ran for ‘MJ’s comfort would’ve been taken in vain. Afterall, you would have to eat for two people the whole night.

It was while you were buttering up a plump Hawaiian roll that you realized that all of the other Avengers were staring at you, an awkward silence enveloping the room.

“So, MJ, tell us about yourself.” Natasha prompted, growing tired of the tension. She wasn’t as suspecting of you as you father who was eerily silent as he poured gravy on his mashed potatoes.

You cleared your throat as you rehearsed your background, careful not to break from character for a single moment.

“You guys probably already know, I used to go to school with Peter. That’s how we met. We didn’t have many classes together, but we were on the decathlon team together, so I guess that’s cool.”

“So I’m sure you know my daughter as well, right?” your father brought you up from across the table. He would’ve startled you if you hadn't been in such control of your expressions. Instead you gave him a curt nod, turning your head to peer at him.

“Yep, I was friends with her before Peter actually.”

“Well that’s wonderful!” he grinned, though you were sure you could sense the slightest tone of insincerity. “You know, she's coming tonight, but she’ll be a bit late. She went to pick up her boyfriend. You should know Flash, right?”

You felt Peter’s thigh nudge yours from underneath the table as you hesitated to reply, a reminder of the story you were to recite as soon as someone brought up Flash. It was imperative, otherwise the pieces needed to assemble the perfect date night heist wouldn’t fall into place as you had planned them.

“Oh, I can’t be around Flash for too long. He’s a real creeper.” you deadpanned. The other Avengers froze in the middle of their meal, all setting down their utensils and staring at you with intrigue.

“Like in the mortal television program? What is its name … Mind Facts?” Thor asked through a mouthful of cranberry sauce that he evidently had not learned was supposed to be enjoyed with other foods.

“Are you talking about Minecraft? The video game?” Peter suggested, the only person present who was young enough to make sense of the god’s unintelligible examples.

“Yes! The Craft of Mining!” Thor exclaimed. “‘Tis a much enjoyable endeavor indeed.”

“No, I’m pretty sure she means that this Flash kid makes her uncomfortable.” Sam reasoned, stamping out the sidetracked babble at the source as everyone’s attention returned to you.

“What do you mean, MJ?” asked Pepper. Despite all your preparation, you were suddenly realizing how much you lacked an explanation for why you and Flash couldn’t be together other than the truth. Without completely reasoning through it, you conjured up the best lie and let it slip out of MJ’s lips as the immediate regret sunk it.

“I have a … restraining order.”

SIlence washed over the table as the Avengers looked at you in surprise. Even Peter seemed shocked, but he quickly morphed his expression into one of remorse as if he had already known about the tragedy you had just made up out of thin air.

“What happened?” asked Bucky curiously, before receiving a hard elbow from Sam for asking such an invasive question.

“I don’t want to get into it.” you replied, satisfied with the severity of your lie preventing any further questioning out of respect for your fantastical situation. “It's fine though. He can be here as long as I’m in another room.”

“That reminds me,” Peter stood, clearing his throat. “I haven't shown you my room yet. Wanna check it out?”

“Sure,” you shrugged and stood to take his arm as the two of you headed towards his room, leaving a table of conflicted Avengers in your wake. Your father parted his lips, nearly calling you back to the table long after you and Peter had snuck out of sight until the sudden blare of the doorbell rang out from the entrance.

“I got it, ” he assured Steve who was eager to open the door until he was encouraged to stay at the table. This time your father went to open it and was met with you smiling in your normal form, your hand hooked in the crevice of a strange boy’s elbow that he had never seen before, Flash. Well, more accurately, Flash/Peter. In the two minutes you and Peter had been gone, you both managed to change into different outfits and transform into different people.

“Hey dad!” you greeted, leaning forward to kiss his cheek as you did all you could to separate yourself from the quiet stone-faced girl you had been pretending to be only a moment ago.

“Hey junior,” your dad smiled, pulling you into a casual hug before stepping back to motion you inside. You hurried in with Flash/Peter right behind you though he stopped in front of your father and held out one of his transfigured hands to shake Tony’s, grinning at him in a weird not even Flash like way that you supposed would have to do. “You must be the famous Flash!” your dad smiled back, accepting the shake before pulling the disguised boy inside.

Flash/Peter’s watch glinted in the artificial light of the dining room, the cherry on top of a perfect disguise. You had used a slap bracelet to make it, transforming the original green of the lightsaber blade it took the shape of into something that resembled a Rolex.

“Famous?” Flash/Peter quirked an eyebrow as he began removing his own puffy jacket. “I don’t know about famous. I’m a pretty mediocre guy if I do say so myself.”

You kneed your boyfriend in the leg, a not so subtle reminder that he was supposed to be a walking endorsement for the person he was presenting as Flash naturally was. He doubled over in pain and you ignored whatever strange looks your fellow Avengers sent your way.

“Ahh.” he groaned, keeping his whimper down so as to not give his real voice away.

“Isn’t he just the silliest?” you mustered another fake grin that was becoming easier to produce with each front you hoisted up to protect your plan. You pulled Flash/Peter back up so he could be straight on his feet once more and headed towards the table, sitting in the only two seats with empty plates. “He gets so funny when he’s nervous. I’ve been trying to remind him he can be himself.” you enunciated the last part for your boyfriend’s sake.

“Oh you’re so right sweetie,” Flash/Peter reached to hold onto your hand. “I just don’t want anyone to think I’m a conceded assho-”

“Turkey’s ready,” you heard Pepper announce as she brought the large bird out from the kitchen and set it on the table. You hadn’t even noticed her absence at the table throughout all the chaos of pretending to be two people. You were reminded of your alter-ego as she set down a smaller dish closer to where you had been eating before. “I also have a vegan substitute for MJ.”

“So, Flash,” your dad began, retaking his position as the head of the table as he began carving at the turkey. “MJ and Peter were here not long ago. I’m guessing you know about them?”

“Of course I do, Mr. Star- I mean Tony,” Flash/Peter corrected himself, careful not to slip up by calling your father a name that was all too easy to trace back to Peter. The correction however, was almost worst as you noticed your father’s brows indent into the glare of a skeptic. “I’m friends with Peter actually. He’s a great kid.”

“That’s funny. I could’ve sworn he was just saying the exact opposite about you.” Sam pointed out, crossing his arms as he set down his fork. He could tell something was off as the man rarely mentioned Peter without sneaking in a jab.

You burst out laughing as an attempt to ward off the growing tension. It was all too artificial.

“Isn’t he just the sweetest?! He always thinks the best of everyone!” you exclaimed, throwing an arm around your boyfriend and flashing the table a false smile.

“Then how do you explain the restraining order?” blurted Bucky, joining Sam in the skepticism.

Flash/Peter’s eyes widened as he failed to provide an answer, nearly abandoning his impression of Flash’s voice.

“It was uhh… a total misunderstanding? I’m sorry, is MJ here? Like right now?” he asked, as if the information was new to him.

“She just went upstairs with Peter,” your father answered, though some of the cheer in his tone had been lost. He suddenly turned to you, and while you weren’t currently in your disguise, his stare felt like a flashlight as if he could see right through you. “I told you we were all going to be eating together. Why didn’t you tell me that she and Flash don’t get along?”

You mentally cursed yourself at the idea. Perhaps if you had spun your lies differently, you and Peter could’ve pretended for two seperate dinners instead of trying to juggling both to hold it together for one.

“I forgot?” you shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t think the restraining order is that big of a deal anymore.”

“Great! That means we can all eat together,” your father cheered, the prospect of his plan coming together overpowering any suspicion he had of you. He stood from his spot at the head of the table and veered in the direction of Peter’s room. “I’ll go get them.”

“No!” you shouted, dread corrupting your face until you noticed the warning look from Flash/Peter to correct yourself. Any extreme objection would be a dead giveaway.

You cleared your throat with a laugh and stood, pushing away from the table. “I mean, no, that’s okay. I can go get them,” you offered. “Flash, do you want to come with me sweetie? I should probably show you where the bathroom is. He has indigestion”

“Oh yes, that would be lovely.” Flash/Peter agreed as he stood with you. He sent you a subtle wink, confirmation of a successful save.

“Okay,” your father agreed, settling more of your worries until his gaze slipped towards Flash/Peter’s wrist where you had forgotten about the transfigured watch. “Just remember to take off your slap bracelet.”

Your heart dropped as you looked down at Flash/Peter’s wrist to discover the enchantment had faded, a symptom of your anxiety. You had been so focused on keeping up the facade of his facial features, the watch detail had entirely slipped from your control revealing Peter’s extremely recognizable lightsaber slap bracelet.

Flash/Peter looked down at his wrist, his eyes widening as he came to the same realization and proceeded to hide his entire hand behind his back.

“I don't know what you mean.” he tried and it took every morsel of your remaining strength not to slap yourself in the face.

“That’s really funny, Flash, because I swear Peter has one just like it,” your father declared to the table, one of the detriments of having a dad that knew your boyfriend so well. “He’s obsessed with Leia’s green lightsaber.”

“No, the blue one is Leia. This one is Luke’s!”

Silence took over the atmosphere in the room accompanied by stares of shock as Flash/Peter’s correction landed. You knew he couldn’t help it, Peter hated when people got Star Wars general knowledge wrong, but boy was the timing inconvenient.

“Uh, I mean, that’s what Peter would say. He loves that kind of stuff. Oh god, my stomach hurts so bad. We should go babe.” Peter tried to cover, gesturing for you to escape with him to what was presumably the restroom though you were starting to think maybe there were better odds of your survival if the two of you booked it for the nearest remote village instead.

“Sure thing,” you nodded as you escorted him from the room, trying your best to ignore the suspicion that you could feel rising. The operation was still salvageable as long as you and Peter were convincing enough.

“Y/n said that dinner was ready?” Peter said only a moment later, reemerging into the kitchen as himself with you by his side in your MJ disguise once more.

“Yep! You guys can go ahead and take your seats.” Pepper smiled, seemingly the only person unphased by your slap bracelet slip up. You and Peter both did as you were told, sliding into your seats and digging into the meal.

“This is delicious Mr. Stark.” you deadpanned, offering a compliment to your father in hopes that it would subside his skepticism.

“Actually, I made it.” Sam interrupted in between bites, wishing for credit where it was due. You nodded in his direction, trying not to emote.

“Oh, well thanks Sam. It’s good.”

“How did you know my name is Sam?”

You shrugged in a manner that seemed aligned with MJ’s performed disinterest though inside you feel like you could explode on the spot.

“You just seem like a Sam,” you covered. “Or an Anthony, I just went with the first choice.”

“It’s Falcon to you, hot shot.” Sam returned, taking another bite of his turkey. You weren’t unused to harsh comments from him in your usual form so you simply returned to your own plate.

“MJ,” your father beckoned for your attention to which you gave it to him. “I thought you were vegan.”

“Oh, yeah I am.” you nodded. Panic erupted through your core, but you tried to contain it on the surface.

“Then why aren’t you eating the special option I prepared for you?”

“Yeah and why are you in Flash’s seat, Peter?” Pepper joined the questioning. It was then you realized that Peter had chosen the seat to your left where he had previously been dining as Flash rather than his assigned seat on your right.

“My bad, I didn’t realize he was sitting here.” Peter awkwardly rose and moved to sit in the correct spot.

“Yes, and while I appreciate the effort, I can have meat on Wednesdays so it’s okay.” you fibbed. Your father had never strayed from the path of being a practicing carnivore and so you hoped his lack of vegan insight was enough to be unaware that there were no breaks.

“So, how long have you two been seeing each other?” questioned Natasha, changing the dangerous topic of conversation though you supposed her reasons for asking we drastically different from yours.

“Four months.” Peter answered.

“Two weeks.” you chimed at the exact same time of Peter’s own response earning a conflicting look from the other Avengers.

“Uh we mean four months and two weeks.” he covered. “But honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for way longer.”

“Probably because we have known each other longer.” you elbowed Peter under the table, a stabbing reminder of the backstory the two of you had spent an hour preparing earlier that day. Perhaps the time would’ve been better spent constructing an exact timeline.

“Oh right, because we’ve gone to school together since middle school.” he smiled, reminded of your carefully constructed story that pulled from when he had first met the real MJ so many years ago.

“So that means you know my daughter!” you dad exclaimed, though the majority of the genuine excitement he had showed during your first appearance of MJ had completely disappeared. “She just got here with Flash. I know you can’t be in the same room as him, but you really should say hi. I can show you to her room.”

“Oh no need!” you assured him, though with too much enthusiasm. You had to swallow it down as you stood, returning to the character that resembled MJ. “I can go find her myself, I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah and I really have to use the bathroom.” Peter stated, replacing his napkin from his lap into the chair likely so that he would know where to sit when he returned as Flash.

“I’m pretty sure Flash is in occupance of the lavatory.” Thor informed your boyfriend.

“Oh, well in that case, I’m going to use the one all the way across Campus.” he stated and at once the two of you were charging towards the exit. Overall, your confidence in your performance was starting to plummet, but you hoped it was convincing enough.

“What is up with these kids?” your father asked once you and Peter were far out of earshot. He consulted the table for any take similar to his own. There was something off about your and Peter’s dates and he intended to figure out exactly what it was.

“I bet it’s some kind of college disease that’s spreading around. You remember how crazy it can get.” Pepper shrugged, the least suspecting of the table apart from Steve who was always slowest to process anything out of the ordinary.

“I wasn’t that bad. At least I could hold a conversation for more than five minutes without running off.”

“I wish Wanda would’ve come,” Bucky stated, reflecting on her mind reading capabilities. “I swear she only scheduled that date with Vision to miss this.”

It was not even a moment later that you and Peter returned flushed from the quick change into the alternative couple, Flash/Peter taking the napkin-less seat.

“Feeling better Flash?” your father asked though his tone made it sound more like teasing.

“Hmm - oh! Yeah, much! This all looks delicious by the way. My compliments to the chef.”

“Thank you-” Sam had started to say, until he was abruptly cut off by your father.

“That would be me,” Tony took credit, and while you were confused by the blatant lie, you were sure it had something to do with his ever growing suspicions.

“Ahh yes, well, thank you Tony.” Flash/Peter eyed your father. As in tune with your boyfriend as you were, you swore the assumed first name basis was on purpose now to defame the real Flash.

“Except for the mead. Only the finest can come from Asgard-” Thor started, before he was shot down as quickly as Sam had been by the very same man.

“Speaking of compliments, I just love your T-Shirt,” your father praised, abandoning his plate to stare at Flash/Peter with curious gaze. It was even more frightening than any of your previous slip ups as he hogged every question to point out every flaw in your plan. “Does Peter know you’re borrowing his clothes?”

Flash/Peter looked down to the wrinkled shirt on his shapeshifted chest, the white text starkly contrasting the black cotton to spell out, “Right now I’m in a galaxy far far away…” You couldn’t believe he had forgotten to take it off. It was a dead giveaway as no one else in the campus, in the whole of New York even was as much of a Star Wars fanatic as your boyfriend as emphasized by his slap bracelet.

You stood up from your place beside Flash/Peter and pulled him away from the table with enough force that it might’ve ripped his arm off had he not had the strength of Spider-Man even when trapped in his school nemesis’ body.

“Oh that’s so funny. Flash must’ve borrowed it from the pile in my closet.” you rambled out an excuse.

“You have a stash of Peter’s weird nerdy T-shirts?” Natasha commented as she lifted her glass of wine to take an overly lengthy sip.

“They’re not weird! Just punny.” Flash/Peter defended in a voice that was all too reminiscent of his natural tone rather than the false falsetto that Flash spoke in. You elbowed him as the two of you ducked away to change.

“We’ll just go put it back now!” you shouted to the table before disappearing out of sight.

“Wasn’t Peter wearing that shirt tonight?” Steve wondered aloud.

“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged. “I couldn’t tell with that goofy flannel he had on over it. How many years has he lived here and no one’s taught him how to dress himself. I think that should be the next operation.”

“Yeah, we could call it Operation Put Peter’s Pull-Overs to Death.” Bucky agreed.

“Guys, let’s look at the bigger problem here,” Tony interrupted as he quite frankly didn’t mind how Peter dressed. “Don’t all four of these teens seem suspicious to you.”

“Well I suppose a little bit, but it could be winter festivities.” Thor shrugged, unbothered by the whole affair.

“What the hell is a winter festivity?”

“He means Christmas.” Natasha filled.

“He’s not from where Christmas is celebrated.” stated Tony before turning to the god for further elaboration.

“In Asgard, winter festivities are when the finest of young people come together to fill the chilled night air with the sweet scent of love-”

“And I’ve heard enough of that.” Bucky forced the story to a stop, nearly running out of his seat quicker than you and Peter had.

“We’re at dinner for the love of God!” Sam looked at Thor with the most incredulous of expressions.

“That’s exactly what I mean, it is for the love of gods.”

“Quiet! I can hear them coming back,” Tony shushed, hoping that what the two of you pulled next would be enough to expose whatever you were hiding. Now, be super analytical here. Watch for any slip ups.”

You and Peter returned to the table, sitting back down in the seats of MJ and Peter once more carving into your meal. Peter was able to swallow a few more bites, but your anxiety surrounding being caught had caused you to lose your appetite.

“Wow, this is so good.” Peter groaned.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that.” Sam chided. He too was getting tired of the game at play as he started noticing the same signs your father pointed out.

“Right, well, I thought I should do it again.”

“I hear you’re studying literature, MJ,” your father sent you a question. “With a specialty in classical era Russian authors?”

You gulped down your food nervously as you nodded though you couldn’t recall ever telling your father about MJ’s academic choices. You completely missed the discrete screen he had opened on his lap under the table that he had used to look up all of your friend’s credentials. It was one of the perks of being Tony Stark, he could gain access to anyone’s personal information with the simple tap of a button.

“That’s right.” you agreed, determined not to break from your expressionless front.

“Did you know that Natasha used to live there?” your father inquired and at once you knew what he was getting at.

“No, I didn’t. What was it like?” you replied, hoping he wasn’t about to do what you thought he was. But you and your father were all too similar and if there was a move you suspected him of making, chances were he would do it.

“Well,” Natasha cleared her throat, setting down the silverware she had once used to sift through her mashed potatoes. “- other than becoming a child assassin and spending every day of my childhood being brutally beaten to a pulp everyday to withstand the worst conditions that a hit might include, it was awful.”

“Wow, I’m sorry.” Peter sympathized, caught off guard by the misfortune of the whole story.

“Yeah it’s tragic,” your father brushed off, turning back to focus on you like the lense of a telescope narrowing in on the target star. “Now, you should really practice some Russian, with Natasha.”

“Tony, stop it.” Pepper tried in an attempt to stop the ambush from going too far, but she knew him as well as you did. When Tony Stark had an idea, he was like a bull chasing the red of a woven cloth. If anyone got between him and his goal, they would be squashed from the sheer force of his will.

“What?” he asked, as if he was clueless to the exposing plan that was currently in motion.

“You have that look in your eye. You know that one you get when you think you’re onto something?”

“I’ve also seen him get it over a new microscope. While it was still in the box.” Peter added. You caught your laugh just in time, putting all your efforts into staying in character.

“Enough, we promised to keep that between us,” your father flashed angry eyes towards Peter before looking at Natasha. “Come on, Nat. Just one line of Russian? Wouldn’t you like that MJ?”

“No I wouldn’t…” you shook your head, though being MJ requires you to be less vehement than normal.

“Oh, but it would help you!”

“Fine, if it makes you shut up.” Nat gave in, before turning to you in your MJ form. You could feel your heart sink in your chest as if the growing weight from the pressure was starting to sink it.

“он думает, что ты лжешь” she spoke, and it didn’t take an expert in the language to know that her accent and inflections beyond perfection. She made a nod towards your father, a subtle attempt to warn you that he knew your plan was failing while she took your side. Little did she know, underneath the cool palette of MJ’s stone expression, you were panicking worse than ever before in your life which you could’ve conveyed had you ever learned to speak Russian.

“So, what did she say, MJ?” your father prompted.

“She dove a soak.” you replied in the best accent you could muster (which ended up being closer to a classic Californian tone than Russian), earning a stern look from Natasha.”

“Did you just say what I think you did?” she glared and you stood up with Peter, heading back in the direction of his bedroom.

“No - I - my notes are upstairs! Let me just go get them really quick.” you motioned for Peter to follow you, deciding that now was a good time for the two of you to switch as you feared being literally snapped in half by the Black Widow.

“See, I told you something’s off!” Tony exclaimed as soon as the two of you had vanished, his tablet above the table as he examined the real MJ’s Seal of Biliteracy.

“I hope you’re right. Otherwise Peter’s girlfriend just totally called me a fucking bitch in Russian and I don’t often let people get away after insulting me like that.”

“Cool it, Widow. I promise you, she did not understand an ounce of that conversation. MJ’s Cornell profile doesn’t even mention Russian,” he pulled up his screen to further inspect, zooming in on the certificate. “She’s actually studying Japanese.”

“Tony.” Pepper groaned at the sight of her husband holding the invasive tech.

“What?!”

“You are undoubtedly the worst iPad kid I’ve ever come across. And we live with Morgan!”

“Aren’t you more concerned with the fact that he can just access people’s private information on a whim?” Steve interjected.

“No. We’re all used to that.” Bucky shrugged as he was quite indifferent on the matter. He didn’t even have a personal phone for Tony to stalk.

“Got some embarrassing searches, Captain?” Sam teased from beside him. But Tony was on it before Steve even had a chance to think about a response.

“None other than the fact that he looks up Bluey on a daily basis to watch clips of it on Youtube.” Tony switched to a new tab that contained a detailed review of Steve’s search history before switching back to MJ and looking up Flash’s profile on Harvard for further opportunities of exposure.

“Hey! That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Steve exclaimed as he crossed his arms against his chest. “I love the Heeler family.”

“But I pay for Disney+. Why do you have to watch it on YouTube?” Tony protested before tucking his tablet away again at the sight of Flash reentering the room, only it wasn’t your face that smiled at the group as you entered, but MJ’s.

“We’re back!” Flash/Peter exclaimed, holding your hand close to him as if you were actually his date. You clutched onto his bicep, missing the firm muscle of Peter’s normal arm as you squeezed Flash’s much more flaccid one. It was then you noticed the disturbed looks from the table of Avengers.

“What?” you asked, moving one of your hands to pat your cheeks. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, but you are holding onto the wrong man.” Bucky pointed out to which you realized that you, MJ, were holding the person that you were supposed to have a restraining order against.

You let out a scream as you tore yourself from Flash/Peter and booked it back in the direction you had come from. Peter was only a few seconds behind you as he started calling your name in Flash’s whiny voice.

“I’m starting to see it now,” Thor acknowledged as the gaps in your plan started growing too wide to go unnoticed any longer. “These young mortals are not who they pretend to be.”

“I told you!” Tony exclaimed. “I think y/n’s powers are behind it. There is no way that she and Flash just happen to appear right when MJ and Peter leave.”

“Either that, or this is just one bad Disney Channel show plot.” Steve shook his head, earning a crude stare from your father.

“What? First I got scolded for not using Disney+ and now I’m getting scolded for using it? Make up your mind!”

You returned as MJ only a few seconds later with Peter at your side as you thought it too risky to change into your other disguises considering the possibility of admonishment.

“Sorry guys, y/n is taking care of the restraining order stuff.” Peter professed as the two of you stood behind your chairs, but opted not to sit down in case you needed to quickly change.

“Is she now?”

“Yep.” you agreed, pulling out your phone as a distraction, hoping the Avengers would just see you as a blatantly disrespectful teenager rather than a skilled liar. You hated the thought of besmirching MJ’s image, but it had to be done to keep your secret. After everything else that had fallen apart, it was all you could resort to.

“Alright, that’s it!” your father exclaimed. “The jig is up you guys, we know what this is.”

“What?” your heart started beating wildly in your chest as you looked up from your game of Subway Surfers.

“I know you’re not really MJ. And I also know that if I went upstairs right this second, that neither Flash nor my daughter would be there.” your father stated, standing and moving closer to you as he revealed your biggest fear since starting the whole operation.

“No, I am and they definitely are!” you countered, losing the quiet aggressiveness of MJ’s normal tone as you defended yourself.

“Then how do you explain your phone case, huh? It looks exactly like the one I got y/n for her birthday last year.”

You looked at your phone case that displayed a solid ivory background and was covered with silly nods to the Harry Potter saga, something your father knew you would love. You laid it case-down on the table so it could blend in as any ordinary phone once more.

“So, what if I’m just borrowing her phone case?” you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Like Peter just borrowed Flash’s whole outfit?” he returned and instantly all eyes were on Peter who was not in his flannel ensemble, but his counterparts silly con style instead. He looked down at his clothes and cursed.

“Damn it, I knew I was forgetting something.”

“This has been really funny, said no one at this table, but it’s time to give it up.” your father ordered, but out of the many traits you had missed out inheriting from him, stubbornness wasn’t one of them. You glared a deathly stare at him, your nose scrunching as you painted on your meanest face.

“I am MJ!” you glowered, slightly raising your tone so that he would take you seriously.

At that very second, your phone screen lit up with the familiar likeness of MJ’s contact photo and the swipe to answer button as she decided on the exact moment that you were trying to be deceptive to call you. It was all over.

“Answer it.” your father ordered and you knew you had no choice. You picked up the phone and put it on speaker as per his instructions.

“Hey y/n!” the voice of MJ greeted you through the phone in her usual friendly monotone that she often used when speaking to you. While you had only known each other the last few years of high school and didn’t go to the same college, you two were fairly close.

“Hi,” you replied shakily. There was no going back now.

“Listen, I don't have much time, I gotta get back to one of my classes, but I wanted to know what your plans are for the rest of break so we could find a space to hang out.”

“Uh yeah, I’ll let you know. I’m not doing much, just in a lot of trouble.” you confessed taking in the absolute fury of your father. If looks could kill, you would be six feet under. Honestly, you couldn’t tell if he was more mad at you or proud of himself.

“Oh, ok. Well can you pass the message onto Peter? He would be invited too of course. I’ve already asked Ned.”

“Great. I’ll tell him.” you swallowed.

“I’ll talk to you later, I’ve really gotta go now.”

“Okay, Bye.”

Your heart sank as you set your phone down again and faced the reality of your choices. Your father knew and there was no fooling him anymore.

“Alright, give it up you two.” your father ordered.

“But, I’m not-” you tried, but of course it was no use.

“Now!”

You sighed as you let the facade fall, crestfallen upon your revealed appearance. At once Peter was at your side as your curly hair returned to its natural stage and color and your normal face emerged from MJ’s.

“Busted,” Tony crossed his arms and stared at the two of you. “I’m guessing Peter was Flash.”

“What the hell is going on?” Pepper questioned, the only one who had fallen for the high jinks.

“It’s a scheme! They aim to commit high trickery!” Thor accused, slamming his fists on the table.

“Relax Thor, let Tony finish speaking.” Steve requested, much less disturbed than the others despite the fact that he had also been victim to your foolery.

You couldn’t even meet your father's gaze, far too embarrassed by the failure at your attempt at concealing your relationship. You knew he was eyeing you down with his startling stare, you could tell by his shifting posture. You looked over to Peter who was equally ashamed looking, wishing that you could hold him close.

“What is this?” your father inquired, his brown stern eyes burning into you like a brand into hide.

“Requesting clarification, sir,” Peter uttered. You had learned from past experiences that he often slipped into using strange vernacular when in an awkward situation.

“Peter, I caught you in a game of hooky. That doesn’t mean you become a robot.”

“Right, sorry….sir,” Peter apologized, using the name he had been wanting to call Tony all along.

“I want to know exactly what's going on here… from you.”

Sensing general attention shifting in your direction, you lifted your head to see his finger pointed in your direction. You knew there was no denying his authority though you didn’t think there was much to explain.

“I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on.” Natasha interjected, but she was brought down by Pepper who wanted you to get your chance at explaining. There was very little you could get out.

“I’m sorry, dad.”

“Why don't you two have real dates?”

“We’re not really dating those people Mr. Stark,” Peter contributed, hoping to take some of the weight off his shoulders, though it didn’t help much.

“So when I asked you who Peter was dating, you made up an answer?”

“Yes.” you admitted, lowering your head in shame once more.

“I knew it! He is gay!” Bucky exclaimed.

“What?” gasped Peter as he sent the soldier a well earned look of absolute shock. You couldn’t help, but roll your eyes.

“I already told you, he’s not gay!” you repeated your earlier statement, hoping it was enough to finally put the rumors to rest.

“Then why are you pretending to be his girlfriend?” your father asked and you knew you couldn't hide it any longer.

“I’m not, dad. I’m not pretending to be his girlfriend.”

“But you are quite literally in clothing you would never wear to try and act like someone else.”

“Yeah, if you two didn’t actually have dates, you could’ve canceled.” Sam pointed out though you suspected he only spoke due to his longing to be literally anywhere else.

“Right, okay so I did do that, but MJ is not Peter’s girlfriend. She never was.” you explained and at once you could tell the truth had finally snapped in place.

Your father’s eyes widened as he started to catch on to what you were saying. You nodded at him, taking a step closer to Peter and intertwining his hand in yours. He made it all obvious from the mere look he was giving you, soft and compassionate, two of your favorite parts of him. You could only imagine how in awe your expression was in return.

“I am.” you confirmed, though you hadn’t needed to say anything at all.

There was silence as the rest of the Avengers took in the reveal for a while before Tony broke the silence again.

“How long has this been going on for?”

You gulped.

“Three years.”

Your father nodded, pondering over the information before erupting in applause with the other Avengers joining just behind him and passing high fives all around as Tony shouted “I was right!”

You didn’t understand. He had seemed so angry at you seconds ago and none of it made any sense considering his ancient rule. No dating superheros, he had been preaching it long before you and Peter ever met. Yet it didn’t change the scene before you, the celebration played out as if they were footballers who had just won the championships.

“What the hell?” you cried?

“What?” your father paused all congratulations to turn to you.

“You’re not mad?” you questioned.

“Maybe a little about you lying for so long, but I gotta say, I am more impressed than I am mad. Why would I be mad?”

You almost couldn’t believe it. How could he forget his oldest rule?

“Because I’m not allowed to date him?” you stated as if it were obvious. It should’ve been, but somehow he hadn’t remembered.

“Why would that be?”

You stared at your dad in disbelief as the cheering instantly disbanded. The confusion you felt bubbles into a strange form of frustration. While you weren’t quite angry, you were blown away by the forgetfulness of your father.

“You said I’m not allowed to date superheroes! EVER! That’s like your oldest rule!”

“That's sad,” whispered Sam to Bucky, though it was loud enough that everyone heard it. You turned to glare at him before a large gasp erupted from your father and at once you could tell he remembered. You could feel it now, the shower of disappointment that awaited you, but instead all you heard was laughter.

Your father was laughing! Chuckling at the prospect of such a rule even though it was his very own. You stared at him, mouth agape as you waited for an explanation.

“Oh! Junior,” he chuckled, calling you by the nickname you had held from a young age. “I made that rule when you were obsessed with Loki. It doesn’t count for someone as harmless as Peter!”

Tony laughed as he gestured to your boyfriend who stood frozen like a deer in headlights. You expected the whole room to burst in the same hilarity, but what actually followed was almost worse. Heat bloomed in your cheeks as each of the present Avengers looked at you in disgust.

“Hey, you'd think he was hot too if you were 12!” you defended, though you felt silly.

“I, in fact, did not think Loki was attractive when I was 12.” Thor claimed, holding his proud mane of blonde hair high.

“You don’t count.” you glared at him.

“He literally almost took over New York and killed your dad?” Pepper recounted the events of the battle.

“I thought I could fix him,” you shrugged. “Still do actually…”

“Right, well moving on, if I had known you still thought those were the rules, we could’ve done this ages ago.” your father explained as if the information was a casual concept.

“Done what exactly?” you asked, requiring more explanation.

“You do realize this whole plan was to expose you and Peter right?” Natasha added.

And for what felt like the thousandth time in two minutes, your brain exploded from the new information.

“WHAT?”

“Well I wasn’t even that sure of it, I started to suspect it after I tried grabbing the Sorcerer’s Stone and literally all the Harry Potter movies were gone and I only know of one other person that considers them Christmas movies in this household.” your father eyed you as he explained it.

“Damnit.”

You really should’ve known. You totally had forgotten how similar you and your father were in that aspect. In many aspects really.

“So this whole time, everything with Operation Pair Parker, it was all so that Peter and I would confess?”

“Exactly. Though I must say, you had me convinced for a bit with the whole other partners thing. For a while at least.”

“I wasn’t convinced.” Bucky shrugged, crossing his metal arm over his chest.

“Yes you were,” Sam countered, calling him out. “You almost cried about it when you realized they might never be together.”

It was too much all too soon, but after a while you realized the whole plan of misdirection was equal in effort from you and your father as well as stemmed from the same intentions. A respect for the other and deep long running stubbornness. It forced you to crack a grin.

“So Peter and I were allowed to date this whole time?” you restated.

“Of course. In fact, I was surprised that you guys never dated in high school. It all makes sense now. Either that or Peter was gay.”

“What is up with people thinking im gay?!” Peter tried, but no one was paying attention to him.

“Thanks dad.”

“I am going to punish you for lying to me for so long though. You absolutely should've said something earlier.”

“That’s fair.” you muttered, gritting your teeth.

“Oh no it's not,” Pepper interjected. “C’mon Tony, it's the holidays! Can't we punish them later?”

“Fine, but I am going to make you expand your movie marathon to include the rest of us. Steve still has to check Harry Potter off his list.” your father required, reference the written list Captain America had been checking items off of ever since he had emerged from the ice.

“Yeah, as long as there’s a dog involved.” he agreed. You pictured Sirius Black in his dog form and nodded assuredly, omitting any of the tragedy that accompanied the name. You only nodded.

“Deal.”

And so your family date was rescheduled to the following night where instead of deception and stress, the space normally used for casual conferencing was transformed into a festive welcoming space. Snowflake decorations covered every corner of the ceiling and the chairs were arranged to all face a giant flat screen with loungers added around for you and the other Avengers to choose from.

Soon, the lot of you had settled down for the first few movies to kick off your marathon, sharing themed snacks and butterbeer from a recipe you had found online after your father declined importing the real beverage from Florida.

It was a better scenario than anything you could’ve imagined after revealing your relationship with Peter. Instead of drama and betrayal, there was light and laughter and just like always, Peter was right by your side in front of the others without a hint of bashfulness. You had just gotten to the third movie after spending the evening rewatching and finishing the first two.

“Which character was your crush when you were little?” you whispered to Peter, shifting closer to him in the oversized bean bag you two were sharing during the quidditch scene.

Peter sighed as he pondered all his options before landing on his final answer.

“Definitely Ginny.” he confirmed

“Good answer Parker.” you agreed, believing the girl was very similar to yourself. Or at least I’m a few ways.

“What was yours?” he returned the questioned, though you wouldn’t volunteer the information as easily.

“Guess.”

“Oh no,” Peter groaned as one particular person popped into his mind. “Don’t tell me you were a Draco sympathizer.”

“Don’t hate on his fan club,” you chided, remembering how strong of a chokehold Dracotok held over many in its active days, regardless if you felt bad for the pathetic blonde or not. “But no. I liked the twins.”

Peter chuckled as your answer made more sense than anything he had in mind.

“Which one?”

You opened your mouth, ready to respond, but your father beat you to it, his words sudden and unexpected.

“Fred,” he answered, popping a nerd gummy cluster into his mouth. “She’s got the Wattpad history to prove it.”

You turned in your seat to gawk at him as he offered the information to the whole room.

“You did not just say that.” Pepper scolded from beside him.

“How the hell do you have access to my Wattpad history?!”

Your father pulled out his tablet from seemingly nowhere and opened a tab that described every website you had accessed ever since you were an impressionable young teen.

“I have access to everything you did when you were little. I probably should’ve taught you about your digital footprint better.”

“Well anyways, he’s right.” you turned back to Peter, deciding not to bother with your fathers antics.

“But I’m nothing like them,” he whispered, careful to keep his voice low to prevent further eavesdropping. “Maybe you should make me taller and turn my hair red sometime.”

“You, Peter Parker, are everything I need you to be just the way you are. And I would take you over any of my fictional hallpasses anyday.”

You leaned in to nuzzle his nose with your own, sparring the hall from any intense PDA before your father spoke up again.

“That’s true. She still reads a lot of Spider-Man fics.”

“DAD!”

#tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker #tom holland #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker x stark!reader #spider man #domestic avengers #fluff

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would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend · 6 months

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Would mankey be a good pet? I really love this funny and angy monkey

Unfortunately, I really wouldn’t recommend it. Mankeys are absolutely funny and angy monkeys, but perhaps to a point that isn’t well suited for pet-hood. Mankeys are literally little balls of rage.

To me at least, mankeys are a lot heavier than I’d expect. They may not be tall, but they have some heft to them that they like to throw around in battle. Space won’t be an issue for mankeys inside, but you’ll need to be prepared for them to climb a whole lot. Wild mankeys live in troops up in the trees (Yellow, Crystal), so a pet mankey will likely seek out high-up places to hang out. Providing them with a safe place to climb and play, like a playground, wouldn’t be a bad idea (but for the love of Arceus do not bring them to a public one where children play).

Mankeys may be social creatures (Crystal, Diamond/Pearl/Platinum), but they aren’t the most friendly. The smallest of stimuli, sometimes even nothing at all, can send mankeys into a violent rage (Red/Blue). While in this state, they are unable to distinguish between friends and foes (Silver) and show no hesitation in attacking anyone and anything around them (Yellow). While there are warning signs before an outburst, these often occur so fast than people aren’t able to react fast enough to get away (Ruby/Sapphire). A mankey will attack you, it’s as simple as that.

Considering their weight, agility, and fighting prowess as fighting-type pokémon, a mankey could do a real number on you. Moves like Cross Chop, Thrash, and Close Combat make use of their staggering strength to bash targets relentlessly. Considering the fact that a mankey attacking you is a matter of “when” not “if”, we have to consider the threat they pose very seriously. If you are to take in a mankey, you have to be prepared to face unprompted, wild attacks at any given moment. Also, like I alluded to earlier, you can’t bring your pet anywhere, lest they attack a stranger.

Beyond their tendency to lash out wildly, mankeys aren’t the easiest pokémon to care for. They are prone to having angering dreams, resulting in them having a hard time sleeping (Moon). This goes double for a mankey with the ability Vital Spirit! They’re also loud! As the pokédex says, “silence is a rare visitor in a troop of mankey” (Ultra Moon). On a small positive note, however, mankeys are long lived. Since they don’t keep any of their stress inside them, they can live a long time (Ultra Sun). So that’s something.

Really, just don’t. I don’t know you, but I care about you. I don’t want you to have a pet that tries to bash your face in for no reason. I think mankeys are cute, but I wouldn’t recommend bringing one into your home.

#pokémon #pokemon #mankey #pkmn irl #PR-F

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bluecollarmcandtf · 9 months

Text

Meet Workaholic Ken!

This hyper-realistic Ken doll is programmed to be the perfect employee! He can't help but clock into the office every day, and he always takes every opportunity to work overtime he can get. Who cares about the regular 9 to 5! This Ken is all about the normal 5 to 11!

Having a Workaholic Ken means you'll never have to work again!

Imagine how big that paycheck will be when he grinds for 18 hours every day of the weak, laughing at every unfunny joke the boss throws at him. You'll faint when you see the paycheck he hands over!

You heard us right!

Workaholic Ken immediately takes his paychecks home to hand them over to you. All the pencil pushing he does, the entire salary he makes, and the long hours he suffers through are all for you.

Why not enjoy the fruits of someone else's labor?

This Ken is designed as the perfect cubicle monkey to fit in with all the other braindead workers in the office, but we've made sure he can still be enjoyed outside of a work setting.

Even though he'll act exhausted coming home after a long day, he won't be able to resist staying up even longer to keep you entertained. The shapeless suit he wears is a professional standard, but he has no problem removing it at home. The hours his body spends sitting at a desk has led to a soft gut and 5 o'clock shadow. He's self-conscious but his body serves as the perfect pillow to snuggle up to on the couch.

Call now! He may cost a lot but Workaholic Ken is determined to pay you back tenfold!

#gay hypnosis #servant #male asfr #meet ken #gay ai art #gay ai

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 9 months

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okay final amc interview with the vampire rewatch thoughts:

- I liked the pacing much better. the middle episodes felt like a slog to watch week by week but I think it’s much better suited to bingeing. there were still choices I didn’t love, but the plot was going at a consistent clip the entire time.

- sam reid and jacob anderson were both fantastic! galaxy brained takes on both characters. bailey bass.. her acting is good but I am too southern to be able to take that accent seriously 😭😭 it was painful

- lestat is still given more narrative dignity and power than I would like. he’s introduced having his own wealth and he is the one giving louis money as opposed to being the broke unwanted houseguest who invited himself. he doesn’t use claudia to babytrap louis, louis has to beg him to change her (hated this!). he is given a personal pawn in antoinette, and is allowed to see the murder attempt coming. I feel like sam reid brings the necessary vain, overeager desperation to the role to offset it, but the plot is still like that

- I’m still deeply unsatisfied with all of the choices they made with claudia. I think it’s a huge cop out to have louis save her from a fire that she 100% would not have survived otherwise. I missed the very key book element of it being louis who killed her and lestat who “saved” her by making her into a vampire. I also disliked how cleanly her relationship with lestat becomes one of hate after episode five. there’s zero mixed feelings and they’re both so on the same page about how much they hate each other. I get what they’re trying to do with “they’re too alike therefore they can’t stand each other” but that doesn’t preclude a more complicated dynamic

- I hated that all of claudia’s issues surrounding never growing up seemed to revolve around sex and romance. she’s given the sweet romance/almost romance that ends poorly and marks her slide into being more recklessly murderous and her dissatisfaction with vampirism. meanwhile there’s the OC vampire they invented to assault her… as a monkey’s paw curls situation I guess?? and to cement her vulnerability to other vampires. a lot of her arc feels so defined by men in a way that’s not really about her. it also doesn’t help that in casting an older teenage actress, it’s harder to buy that she would run into issues day to day with living on her own or passing as a young looking adult. idk she just felt particularly Written By A Man to me

- I’m also still unsure how I feel about the more literal domestic violence allegory. with daniel’s cynical quips about stockholm syndrome and abuse. or the way the big fight is framed when it looks like louis might leave lestat for claudia. I don’t mind them becoming violent with each other, it seems like that would be second nature to vampires who are killing every night. their relationship with violence would simply be different than a typical person’s. but then I think the fight’s framing was perhaps too typical to make sense for vampires? idk idk I like abuse narratives and I think interview as a story has always been in part about usurping an abuser so… seeing physical abuse… makes sense but this also felt too on the nose. so I am on the fence

- the pilot and the finale were the strongest episodes by far. I really appreciate this series’ dedication to style and atmosphere. it’s the first piece of contemporary vampire media in a while that feels like it actually wants to be about vampires

- I was shrieking at every single little hint at the larger vc lore, even when I knew full well it was coming. I’m honestly too attached to the first book so any loose show adaptation was destined to be prickly for me but I have zero reservations about the rest of the series. I’m so fucking excited to see it continue and cover more of the books!!! I will PASS OUT when we actually get to the theatre des vampires

- having the armand reveal confirmed makes the entire show so fucking insane???? I was watching this with maka and dolce who had NOT seen this before and it was such a struggle not to dissolve into hysterics every time he was in frame. like what deranged psychosexual nonsense???

- like louis describing being so desperately in love with lestat in excruciating detail while his current bf is literally always in the room?? the extent armand goes to to keep up the charade that he’s just an unassuming human ☺️ no reason to be suspicious at all ☺️☺️ it’s even funnier having the second season trailer out, knowing that he’s devised like an entire costume and sense of style for this rashid character purely to fuck with daniel 😭

#amc interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #iwtv #i ramble sometimes

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pzyii · 7 months

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I've been hyperfixation on btvs for a while w/o posting about aus so.....

BTVS Daemon au:

(haven't thought about this one In a while btw so there's a lot of stuff I'm probably still changing but I wanted to have it out there)

(Under cut cause it’s a bit long)

Buffy - either a toller dog or a mountain lion. His name is atlas, meaning "to carry" since she carries the weight of the world on her teenage shoulders. He probably settled almost just after she became the slayer. Or when she came back after death No1 in s1. Whether he's a mountain lion or a toller dog, he's very puppy-like and loves cuddles. She thought he was gonna settle as a golden retriever before she became the slayer.

Willow - a phoenix that looks like just a raven or a blackbird normally. I know people would say phoenix for Buffy cause she's died twice but the idea of rebirth in the sense of change suit willow a lot better concidering how much she changes over the show. Plus the idea of a bird that looks completely normal and harmless but when she uses magic or is just angry and stuff turns into flames is really good and works perfectly for someone who is capable of (and has) killing(/killed) people. Their name is aspen cause her parents liked the tree theme. They settled the first time she did magic obviously. And she had for a while suspected they'd settle for a small bird before, her number one suspicion had been a mountain blue bird.

Xander - I’m thinking squirrel monkey or some other type of monkey, possibly like an emperor tamarin. Based on vibe yk. Her name is xenia, which means “stranger, guest, hospitality”, that wasn’t really the reason I picked it though I just mostly thought it would be funny if the whole reason Xander uses Xander as a nickname instead of Alex is cause he wanted to match with his daemon. I’m unsure when she would settle, all of them so far has settled pretty late, and for him probably the latest, I could see it being at the end of s6 because of the yellow crayon speech cause that you know represents his rare moments of being good pretty well. (Edit: remembered that's too late since he's not a teen anymore, it probably settled in late S3 or s4)

angel - a Dobermann dog cause they look exactly like him. Dark, bulky, big, terrifying but puppy, it’s perfect. Her name is Lilith cause … The bible, idk. And since I haven’t talked about it yet I’m gonna take the opportunity to talk about daemons in relation to vampires. They don’t just go poof when someone becomes a vampire even if that would be logical cause that just makes it too easy to notice vampires but they aren’t exactly there either. Since there’s no soul in the daemon they are basically just empty husks and aren’t able to talk or act on their own like normal daemons. They do tend to also give people the wig because of it since most can notice something is wrong even if they don’t know what. When a vampire regains their soul, their daemon returns to normal, though Lilith doesn’t speak much to anyone except angel either way

Tara - a cat, don’t know which breed, cause you know the witch of the witches, his name is Salem cause Tara’s mom is also a witch. He settled before Tara met willow or the other scoobies. He mainly talks to Tara, willow and later dawn.

Spike - this was a hard one for some reason, but I settled(hah) on bengal cat, will maybe change it. She settled before he became a vampire to be fair though. I just felt like their little faces fit his pathetic bottle blonde vibe. Her name is eris, which comes from the goddess of strife and Discord, plus i thought it was a pretty name. And cause of the whole no soul thing throughout most of the show she doesn’t have much personality for most of it, but more than Lilith when angel has no soul tho. She's gets all jumpy and fast-y when he gets his soul.

Giles - a barn owl, cause yknow, owls. Her name is Anne which means “intelligent”, not that that’s always true for Giles lmao but it represents both his character and relation with his dad pretty well. Also Anne is a pretty old-y name that works well with - pfft - Rupert.

Cordelia - a peacock, cause yknow… everything about her. His name is Cyril which means “master/lord” which suits her plus the name sounded fancy. He also doesn’t speak much and pretends to be all cold like Cordy but he’s a softie.

Anya - a coral snake, matched the demon and also just her vibe. Her name is Ymir cause Anyas Swedish and old. Nothing really changes with her when Anyas a demon.

faith - a panther, matches with Buffys mountain lion, his name is Thomas which means “twin”. Cause well she’s the secondary slayer, the copy, the clone, and she has yknow …some problems with being second place. I’m unsure when he would settle.

Dawn - a fawn, it rhymes :)), plus it suits her really well in symbolism and just vibe. Their name is kito which means “precious jewel”. both because Dawn is seen as precious and something that needs to be protected. And jewel because of the whole dehumanisation and that it’s something so materialistic with the whole key thing. No clue when they would settle.

Then there’s a lot more characters but I’m stopping here for now

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littlerabbittarot · 9 days

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Healing Your Inner Child — Shadow Work

I love how using cards can be a springboard for self-exploration. You’re not alone trying to dig through your thoughts, you have a friend at your side guiding you.

Shadow work is a way of getting in touch with your unconscious, the parts of you that are more hidden and unknown. Often this can be darker aspects, but not always. However, I find it to be an important practice, as there can be answers there that you can’t easily find otherwise.

For this post, I thought we could take a step into another one of my spreads and do some shadow work together. Feel free to read through and save it for later, or take this time to breathe, make space, get out your journal, cards, and explore.

Regardless if you follow along with your cards, I do highly recommend using a journal, one that is for your eyes only. That way, you can feel free to be as open and honest as you need to be.

It’s not always immediately recognizable that what triggers or upsets us not only has a long history of hurting us, but goes all the way back to when we were children. Being so young and helpless, children rely entirely on their guardians for everything. And if we are not provided something, or maybe provided for too much, it can lead to issues years and years down the line — well into adulthood. Being able to find the source of that pain is how you can begin healing.

Let’s walk through an example reading with this spread. If these cards spur something in you, by all means pause reading and journal your thoughts.

Deck: Green Glyphs Tarot

What pain are you experiencing right now? — The Sun

This card is typically referred to as the ‘joy’ card, and here with this deck, it is quite literally bursting with happiness. As optimistic and positive as this card may initially feel, we are looking at a negative position in this spread. What are the darker sides of this card?

Perhaps you struggle with finding joy in things. You might grapple with finding the ‘half full’ perspective and lean pessimistic. There can be wonderful things happening in your life, but you always seem to look for the worst. “I got a job promotion, but the added work is frustrating and there are a lot more hours,” vs “I got a job promotion, and the pay raise allows me to travel abroad for the vacation of my dreams!”

It can be quite painful to feel like you don’t deserve happiness, or maybe you are frightened of what would happen if you just let yourself be happy. If you’re so used to feeling depressed all of the time, that’s the life you know. Happiness is foreign, and what could happen if you’re just happy, with no weight of depression on your shoulders at all? That’s the life you don’t know, and what you don’t know can be scary!

Where in your childhood does this pain stem from? — Ace of Cups

The suit of ‘Cups’ deals with emotions, and all aces are the beginnings of the suit. The very start of an emotional journey. This issue may go back to the very beginning! Even beyond your earliest memories.

If you had parents or guardians who were insufficient in acknowledging your joy, you may have felt pressured to suppress it. Children often have more extreme and dynamic emotions compared to adults, and during times of great joy, you might have been ignored or even punished. The pleasure you felt in reading a wonderfully adventurous book, earning a special reward at school, painting a beautiful artwork — all very exciting things, might’ve had underwhelming reactions.

Maybe you grew up in a home where your guardians were constantly stressed. They themselves struggled with finding joy, and just like the phrase ‘monkey see, monkey do’, children very often pick up the habits of those around them. You learned from your parents that happiness is short-lived, and instead of something to sit with and feel deeply, you became accustomed to jumping to the next thing, leaving it behind.

How can you heal from this pain? — Two of Cups

I do love how this particular spread worked out. With the ‘Two of Cups’ here, you can see this as the next step. There are no big actions you need to rush to take. The two quite literally comes right after the ace, you can view this as a healing process, one to take your time with.

The ‘Two of Cups’ is an emotionally pairing card, as in, a union or partnership. Not necessarily a relationship partner or marriage, but anyone you feel emotionally connected with. This could be a great time to lean on a friend, loved one, or relative. Maybe have a one-on-one chat with your parent/guardian about this issue. Gently and open-mindedly asking questions about your life growing up, how things were for them, and see their perspective. It could give you answers for what’s happening with you right now.

Finding a trusted person to confide in can help your inner child feel listened and acknowledged. A lot of pain can come from our inner child feeling unheard, and by just giving them an ear, you open the door towards healing and growth.

So go ahead, write in your journal. Take inspiration from this example reading, use your own cards, or free-write. But write!

Ask yourself: How can you support your inner child?

—

Thank you for reading! I hope to continue to blog about tarot, mental health, and similar topics. Feel free to follow, or support me on Ko-Fi.

-LR🐇

#tarotblr #tarot community #tarot card spread #shadow work #inner child healing

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bowandcurtsey · 1 year

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D&D anon here... I did mean "Dungenos & Dragons". Whoops. For clarification the Cleric is like a person who uses magic through holy parying and stuff (a "whiet mage" in JRPGs). It suited Morgen to me. And Barbarians (for the reader) are the ones to take a lot of hits and hit hard themselves.

{1700 event}

So I'm finally here! So... I have no idea What dungeon and Dragons is before this. I did a little R&R and with some help from my mutuals, I learnt a thing or two. But there's really so many variations? Like different website would have different types of characters? I was really confused lmao.

But okay lemme summarise a little for the readers as well... so D&D is actually a game, where you have different characters and roles and they complete quests and battles as a team.. So anyway for this fic:

Morgen is the mage healer

Reader is barbarian fighter

ps: Sorry if my version is different from the one you know!

AU: Dungeons and Dragons Characters: Morgen Faust x F! reader ft Julius Novachrono tw: unchecked works

"hey there, healer~ what's your name?" you asked.

"Morgen Faust." he shook your hand with a cheery smile. But he didn't ask your name back.

"haven't seen you around~" you tried to maintain the conversation with the raven haired man.

"I wasn't from this department." he maintained his smile.

"Let me guess, you're from the thief group previously?"

He nodded.

"why the switch?" you continued to ask, but he just chuckled to himself and shrugged.

What the hell? Is he some kind of introvert or what? But boy oh boy does he look good. sky blue eyes, long raven locks, pale clear skin. His mysterious aura seemed cool and you were intrigued to know more about him.

"Who goes there?!" you met a group of gnomes. Hostile Gnomes.

Morgen let out a small sigh, "why are gnomes always angry..."

You giggled at his joke.

The gnomes attacked all at once, and it was your duty as the fighter and the thank of the party to take hits and fight. Well, you were a raging bull and you never backed down from a fight since day one.

Morgen backed you up quietly, seeing that you were able to handle the gnomes pretty well.

A few gnomes were nothing to you, as they were defeated quickly and scurried away into the bushes, but you were a little beat up here and there.

"you're hurt." Morgen came up to you in the flash of a light.

"This nothin' but a scratch." you waved him off, "let's continue."

Morgen just stood still and healed you, despite your protests of you being fine.

"Are all fighters stubborn, aren't they?" he shook his head a little, "just like Yami."

You couldn't help but laugh, he was right, Yami was indeed unconcerned about his injures all the time.

Out of nowhere, an ambush attack came from behind both of you. There was no time to react so you wanted to stand forward to shield Morgen, but in one swift move, Morgen blasted the perpetrator into half.

Your mouth hung wide open, was this man the definition of perfection? Tall, handsome, powerful...

----

"Why didn't you tell me!!" you questioned your captain Julius when you came back to update him about the quest.

"tell you..?"

"about Morgen! the healer!"

"Tell you what about Morgen, exactly?" Julius was confused.

"That he's so strong and can fight well! I embarrassed myself in front of him!" you covered your cheeks with your hands, thinking about how you were all over the place fighting the gnomes while he fought calmly and gracefully. "I must have looked like a monkey to him, oh lord!"

Julius laughed heartily.

"And also, why did he convert from thief to healer?" you spoke in a hush tone, "isn't his talent wasted as a healer?"

"well, why not you ask him yourself?"

You blinked at your captain who gestured towards the door.

You turned around and you saw Morgen standing at the door, waving at you with his usual polite smile.

You never wanted to dig a hole and hide so badly in your life before. "why are you here!!"

"er.. the same reason as you?" he gave you a sheepish smile, "we were on the quest.. together you know?"

"S-since when did you get here!" you were bursting with embarrassment at this point.

"about the time when you said that you embarrassed yourself in front of me," he gave a little awkward chuckle.

Julius was trying his best not to fall of the chair giggling at this point. "I'll give you two some space.." he said as he left, calling for Marx and Yami to join him for lunch.

"so... you wanted to ask me why did I become a healer?" Morgen asked.

"But you didn't feel like sharing, no?"

"firstly, I got tired of the secret and mysterious life. I used to do it with my twin, but now he's with Yami more, so i don't find a point to do it anymore. And also, being a healer feels rewarding.."

"that's it?" the reason felt so simple you didn't understand why he didn't want to say it back then.

"and also..." he spoke slowly, his cheeks slightly flushed pink, "being a healer means I could go on a quest with you."

"me?"

"yeah, I saw you fight on one of your quest awhile back, when I was on my own personal quest, and I wanted to get to know you." he admitted shyly.

You felt like steam was coming out from your ears.

"To be fair, you were really all over the place when you fought," he let out an endearing laugh, "but I never thought of you as a monkey, I think you fight gracefully as well, as if you're dancing."

You fumbled to find the right words to say. "T-thank you."

"I'll make sure you won't get hurt again, miss y/n." he patted your head and left.

And that was how you met your husband.

Ps: kudos to those who remembered the "this nothin but a scratch" hehe. it was from another fic :P

#aine's 1700 event #morgen faust hcs #morgen faust imagines #morgen faust x reader #morgen x reader #black clover headcanons #black clover imagine #black clover x reader #black clover scenarios #black clover fanfiction #black clover imagines #black clover x you #black clover x y/n

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nobodyfamousposts · 2 years

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Something that's always confused me in AU scenarios is the idea that whoever has the ladybug miraculous HAS to be the leader. I always thought whomever should be the leader would be dependent on personality types an ability to lead, not the power set. Whoever has the ladybug is essentially the white mage who has to make it to the end of the battle at all costs, sure, but couldn't any miraculous wielder feasibly act as the team leader depending on their ability to plan and command the team?

That's a valid point. The Ladybug user needs to be protected and needs to be the one able to survive to the end at all costs in order to restore everything. It's similar to the issue in most anime where the "leader" always has to be the strongest of the group. Nevermind whether they're good at teamwork or leading.

I think part of it with Ladybug may be that Marinette/Ladybug herself is a planner and the Lucky Charm aspect of the Ladybug Miraculous really emphasizes that since it NEEDS someone who can make effective use of the randomness Lucky Charm. As such, the Ladybug needs someone who can plan, strategize, and make effective use of their resources and surroundings. And those are things that leaders typically need to be able to do.

In addition, Tikki herself really seems to push the leadership aspect/role, which may tie in to why the Ladybug Hero is usually viewed as the leader in a lot of kwami swaps.

Arguably, any Miraculous user should be capable of leading, depending on the person and their personality and capability to do so. It would need to be someone with the ability to maintain a cool head under pressure, effectively make decisions for the good of the team and the city, and direct others. A tactician would be great, but some leaders have others act as their tacticians and come up with workable plans.

It would be more difficult for users of the Cat, Bee, Monkey, Dragon, or Tiger to take on that role since they'd have to be up front close range fighters and would need to focus more on direct fighting and themselves than on their teammates, and would risk getting taken out more easily. Other than the Ladybug, ones like the Snake or Turtle would well suited for a leader or tactician. Possibly the Butterfly, Peacock, Horse, and Fox as well.

It'd be interesting to play with.

#ask me stuff

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dailycharacteroption · 2 years

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Devolutionist (Druid Archetype)

If there was ever an archetype in Pathfinder that screamed “Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain”, it would be the devolutionist archetype for the druid.

Evolution is, as most know, is the process by how a species grows and adapts to its environment over the generations. Even sapient beings are the product of evolution, their environmental pressures leading to powerful sapient minds and bodies able to interact with their environment.

Some druids, however, view the adaptation of sapience to be a mistake. They might have become disillusioned with sapient species after personal interactions and disappointments with them, or they might have seen the capacity sapient beings have for despoiling nature and found themselves unable to reconcile the existence of civilization with the need to protect nature. Either way, they find themselves travelling down a dark and malicious path.

If a devolutionist has their way, they would see all sapient species reduced to the forms of their early ancestors, and all animals and plants they domesticated returned to a similar prehistoric state. In their eyes, this would lead to a simple and peaceful utopia of animals living in harmony with nature.

Whether this is in any way accurate is beside the point, for they have learned the rituals to enact the transformations they seek, and may take over distant villages to use as testing grounds and proofs of concepts for their ideal world, or they may have more grand plans in mind.

Like I said, with how often supervillains in comic books and cartoons try to turn victims into apes, this archetype borrows a lot of tropes from those sources. However, examining their powers for even a little bit is where we get the horror elements, since the idea of being removed from sapience, unable to make sense of formerly simple concepts and parts of your own identity smacks of body and psychological horror.

Before we press on, however, it’s worth noting that there are a lot of ways to do this archetype wrong, as the “ape-ification” concept has been used to very racist ends in the past, so keep that in mind.

The monstrous horror elements of this archetype start strong, as the animal companion that they invariably take is a formerly sapient humanoid, devolved into a near-sapient bipedal ape, no doubt their first victim that they have bound to their will.

With a one-minute ritual with a domesticated animal that is either restrained or willing, these druids can remove all memory of training and generations of docility, transforming them into a fully wild animal which may behave dangerously and unpredictably around sapient beings, lacking any trust in them.

At greater levels of mastery, they can take a whole day to revert animals to undomesticated states, and even transform them into fierce megafauna ancestors, while they can fully convert humanoids into their ancestor species, robbing them of intellect and memories, leaving even tool use beyond their simple minds. Luckily, however, these magics can be reversed as if they were curses.

A simple archetype more useful for an NPC villain than a player, if you plan on playing a druidic villain, this might prove useful. The archetype only gets rid of some defensive abilities, so you could build them however you like, ready to amass your monkey army however you see fit.

To be clear, though there is no alignment restriction on this archetype, one cannot make use of the full suite of it’s abilities and remain a good person. At best, there may be devolutionists that work to free domesticated animals and return them to the wild, or perhaps rehabilitate those that are abandoned by civilization so they may survive without their shepherds, all without ever turning their powers on sapient beings. At the other end of the spectrum are the full villains, who may seek to unmake all civilization and theoretically even turn their power on themselves eventually, or they may be cruel tyrants who would rather rule a trackless expanse populated by former sapients than civilized subjects.

Also, it’s worth noting that in a fantasy setting, plenty of races may exist that straight up don’t have ancestors as they were created by divine beings or otherwise didn’t follow the forces of evolutionary pressure, so this archetype might not be as relevant, or at least as effective against certain targets.

Travelling far and wide with a leashed ape that was once a man, the druid Elvanar has traveled to the Mireholt in search of an ogrekin witch who is said to have mastered a way to spread a hex through clouds of enchanted mist. The cruel druid seeks to combine their techniques to unleash a primal plague upon the cities and towns.

The ifrit clans of Mount Ashmortar borrow a lot from their efreeti ancestors, perhaps too much, as they enjoy taking slaves from the surrounding mortal civilizations, and even subjecting them to strange magics that rob them of their minds.

The path of the devolutionist is a lonely one, fraught with peril, and not just for the people that fear being turned into beasts. In fact, a clan of troglodytes has caught wind of a devolutionist’s power, and seeks to use it to revert them back to the psychic overlords they once were as xulgath. While the party may be loath to rescue such a villain, the danger their secrets could have if stolen from them could be devastating.

#pathfinder #archetype #druid #devolutionist #ogrekin #ifrit #troglodyte #xulgath #Horror Adventures

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hyenahunt · 2 years

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Bogie Time: The Jeering of the Jesters - 11

Writer: Akira

Season: Summer

Characters: Jun, Tomoya, Mitsuru, Nagisa, Hiyori, Ibara, Nazuna, Hajime

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP) & Skyress + Sophie (ENG)

Translation: nazunyan427 & haranami & hyenahunt

Jun: "You want us to give an impression of Jin Sagami? What the literal hell d'ya have against me, Ibaraaaa!?

Time: That night, during the daily Minigame Segment

Jun: "Without further ado, let's get the Charades Quiz started~!"

"This has basically the same rules as our Pictionary Quiz from day two — first of all, the team leading the round decides on a prompt!"

"Once that's decided, the other teams will have to do an impression of whatever it is! For example, if the prompt is "monkey", then everyone'll have to act like a monkey~♪ "

"If you acted it out successfully, you'll win the number of points decided by the question-setter! And if it doesn't pass, then you'll lose that number of points!"

"It feels like this might be even harder than drawing, really ♪ "

Tomoya: “Mm-hm! This is our chance! Whether we suck or not, we’re still theatre folk!”

Mitsuru: “Hehe!♪ I’ve got the basics of actin’ down from when I was in that drama too! And even after filmin’ ended, I still practice!”

Nagisa: “...You’re very diligent.”

“...However, I’m unsure as to whether I’m suited for acting or not. I’m good at following a script, but I believe mimicry requires a different set of skills.”

Hiyori: "No matter what kind of character role you take on, you're just the same old Nagisa-kun to me."

"It's to the extent that your usual instructions from Ibara all seem rather meaningless, in my opinion!"

Ibara: “Yes, yes! I’m terribly sorry for interrupting, but we should really hurry up and select a prompt!”

“As per usual, why don’t we begin with the team in last place and work our way up from there?”

Hajime: “Hehe. It looks like you’ve really gotten the hang of things.”

“What sort of theme should we come up with, Ibanyan? I feel like the go-to thing to do would be to come up with something really difficult that no one will be able to do an impression of—”

Ibara: “Hm… Please leave this to me; I have a wonderful idea.”

Hiyori: "Ooh, feeling confident? Tell us what you've got ♪"

Ibara: “Very well, allow me to announce our prompt. Please give us your best impression of Super Idol Jin Sagami when he was still active.”

Jun: "Woah, hey— Isn't that just a direct attack on me!?"

"You want us to give an impression of Jin Sagami? What the literal hell d'ya have against me, Ibaraaaa!?

Ibara: (whisper) Fufu. This is my battle plan — I knew Jun would give us an interesting reaction, which means we’ll receive plenty of usable footage.

(whisper) If a long scene from this segment gets used, we’ll receive less screen time when this episode is broadcasted…

(whisper) If we don’t wish to stand out, we need but make others do entertaining things. That’s the most optimal solution.

(whisper) And, compared to His Excellency or His Highness, Jun is significantly easier to rile up.

Jun: You tryna call me an easy target!? Er, well, I guess messing around with the kids from Ra*bits would look pretty bad.

Ibara: “Yes, quite! Now please go ahead and begin!”

“However, it would be unfair to base your mimicries on other people’s. We should ensure that all teams other than the judging team should have their eyes closed while someone is performing!”

Hajime: “Yup! ♪ Ehehe, looks like you’re raring to go—Ibanyan?”

Ibara: “Well, there’s no use in sulking. At this point, all I can do is steel myself and make it to the end whilst trying to minimize the amount of damage I take.”

Hajime: “Yes. Even if we don’t make ourselves stand out, we can make others do something funny or appealing to keep things entertaining.”

“I think that’s wonderful! It’s a lot easier than having to come up with something funny ourselves.”

Jun: "Dude, Ibara, don't drag your partner into your plans!"

"Getting less screen time for yourself means the same thing for Shino-kun, y'know? Is that really good news for any idol~!?"

Ibara: “...Please stop running your mouth and start the game.”

Jun: "Goddamn! Man, I get it already, but I'm absolutely not gonna make it funny, alright!? At least, not with this prompt!"

Tomoya: “Ahaha. Sazanami-senpai, you just sound like you’re setting yourself up♪

Jun: "Ugh! Let's just think ahead, Mashiro-kun. If I manage to pull this off perfectly then we'll win some points! We're not gonna lose either way~!"

Ibara: “Aren’t you aware that the mark of a poor gambler is making bets simply because there’s nothing to lose? It appears that I’ve found a wonderful target ♪”

Jun: "Nghhh? Well, I know I'm not the most talented, so my only choice is to go all out in everything I can do~!"

Nazuna: “Oh wow… I can still hear him sing even with my eyes closed. He’s really good.”

“I remember hearing a recording of his during class back at Yumenosaki and he sounds exactly like Sagami-sensei during his golden years.”

Nagisa: “...I see. Truthfully, I’m unfamiliar with the idols of that generation, so I can’t tell myself.”

“...But I think it’s rather difficult to emulate them; in that sense, this prompt was well chosen.”

Ibara: “Indeed, but Jun’s performance is perfect. He’s the spitting image of Sagami-shi in every way.”

“In order to show everyone just how flawless this is, we should play Sagami-shi’s original performance next to his when the show is finally broadcasted.”

Jun: "Just how far are you gonna bully me...!?"

Hiyori: — Fufu. I do feel a little sorry for Jun-kun, but it appears you're finally growing aware of our intentions, Ibara.

Nazuna: Huh, what? What are you talking about?

Nagisa: …That’s a secret between us four ♪

Ibara: That’s right. This is an internal matter, so it would be embarrassing to disclose the details, but…

I believe I’ve finally understood why His Excellency took up this Bogie Time project.

Nagisa: …Yes. It seems as though they weren’t very obvious, but I left a few hints here and there. Knowing you, Ibara, I was certain you’d be able to see the full picture if you took a step back.

…However, until today, you couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

Ibara: Indeed. But Jimenyan's consideration allowed me plenty of rest, so I now see things with more clarity.

Nazuna: Hey, what’s with you calling my Hajime-chin by that nickname—

Oh right, that’s the penalty game.

Ibara: Yes, these nicknames come to us quite naturally now. We often speak during our breaks, after all.

Hajime: Hehe. Though if we do our bonding while the cameras aren’t even rolling, the viewers might get a little confused, like: “Since when were they that close?”

Ibara: That’s correct. However, the gentlemen from Yumenosaki always tend to warm up to their partners and act all buddy-buddy, so I doubt we'd look too out of place.

✦✦✦✦✦

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#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #hajime shino #ibara saegusa #hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #nagisa ran #mitsuru tenma #tomoya mashiro #nazuna nito #s: bogie time #era: !!#hyenahunttl

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bulkyphrase · 1 year

Text

American Pi: a Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers rec list

A few of my favorite stories from a criminally underrated ship. Or two ships I guess, if you consider Bruce and the Hulk to be different people.

Methodology by throttlegainwell (@throttlegainwell) (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 4,508 words)

Summary: The goal was simply to see what this new Hulk could safely do, what might affect his new state of mind, and—okay, whether it was even possible to fit his comically huge penis in anything short of an industrial-sized artificial orifice. Exactly what it says on the tin. Bruce asks Steve to help him test his new limits.

One More Night by onward_came_the_meteors (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, General Audiences, 8,339 words)

Summary: After the events of Ragnarok, Bruce returns to Earth, but instead of landing in the Sanctum Sanctorum, he ends up finding the former Avengers... including a former captain. Turns out a lot has changed in two years, but maybe that change can be for the better.

i'd like to check out your card catalogue, if you know what i mean by weatheredlaw (@weatheredlaw) (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 2,242 words)

Summary: Bruce and Steve are starting a book club -- or they would, if they could stop making out every time they're alone together.

Incognito by Trumpeteer34 (@trumpeteer34) (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, General Audiences, 7,114 words)

Summary: From the kinkmeme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/16524.html?thread=37295244#t37295244 After the battle in New York, there's a renewed flood of public interest in Captain America. Steve's OK doing some publicity here and there, but not really comfortable at all being a "dancing monkey" all the time. Sometimes he'd like to be anonymous again, able to just walk down the street and blend in. He turns to Bruce, who has years of experience blending into a crowd. Bruce helps Steve "schlub up" and teaches him some tricks for not standing out. They start going out into the city together to test it out, and as they do, they end up having a really good time together. Enough that they keep doing "test runs" that start to feel suspiciously more and more like "dates"... eventually Bruce/Steve ensues.

Of Rocky Beaches and Painted Dreams by shaolin103 (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Mature, 8,605 words)

Summary: Hulk gets the guy first, or so it seems.

To Taste by felinefelicitations (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 15,617 words)

Summary: It isn't that Bruce does not like Steve (quite the opposite). It's that Bruce very much can't have Steve, not the way he would like. After all, Steve is Captain America, and Captain America is a paragon of command and control. In other words, not submissive. (Or how Bruce is sometimes the least observant scientist in the world, Steve is shyly in love and tells this to Bruce with food, and the team mostly just wants to make sure their supply of baked goods doesn't dry up.)

every bell that tolls me by thingswithwings (Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 19,899 words)

Summary: Bruce Banner, practical masochist. Or: Bruce gets a dom and a boyfriend, but they're not the same person

Worth It by snack_size (Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 15,844 words)

Summary: “Let’s recap,” Tony said, handing the blow torch he had been using to Bruce. “Recap what?” Bruce asked - they had just been talking about particle physics, and it certainly wasn’t something either of them needed reminder of. “You’ve gone to the museum, you’ve gone for Indian food, you went to see a movie, and what was it yesterday?” Bruce swallowed, glad that Tony wasn’t facing him and was, instead, using a wrench on the latest version of the suit. “Ugh-” “Oh, that’s right, you went to a concert,” Tony said, almost casually, and Bruce sighed. “It was free,” he tried. Bruce likes Steve, and, as it turns out, Steve likes Bruce - but it's all very awkward, and they agree to take it slow.

Heavy Ordnance by Not_You (Hulk/Steve Rogers, Explicit, 2,609 words)

Note: This is part 6 in a OT6 series. I recommend reading all of them because they're great, but this one can be read alone.

Summary: Hulk is a lot to deal with, even for a Super Soldier.

#bruce banner #steve rogers #american pi #marvel fic rec

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drpepperhateblog · 2 years

Text

Some thoughts on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Positives

The songs are great. Many of them manage to describe so many awkward everyday situations that no one has ever dared to acknowledge.

Nathaniel and OG Greg were my favorite characters throughout and the only reason I could bring myself to keep watching. Trent was also hilarious. Valencia, while not consistent in some episodes, also got to favorite character level at times.

Seriously, Nathaniel. I felt uncomfortable by how much I could relate to him. I’m not sure if that has ever occurred to me before.

Okay, this is a Nathaniel thought thread now I suppose, but his parallells with Rebecca are also so interesting. The things that weird him out about her are things that weird him out about himself. But Rebecca lets her freak flag fly while he puts on a suit, plays with a stress ball and holds it all in. Also, I wanted more of Nathaniel at the zoo chilling with the monkeys.

Trent was fascinating because he was a mirror to Rebecca but 1 season back. So if we had gotten a season 5 then I guess that would be when Trent gets his diagnosis (let’s be real, he probably has BPD too). His songs mirroring hers was fun (Season 2 intro one especially) and offered a lot of perspective as well. It’s easy for the viewer to empathize with what Rebecca does, because she’s a woman. It’s less easy and even discomforting to try to do the same with Trent. Fascinating.

I love the major part parenting plays into the show. How someone with demanding, ambitious parents ends up fearful and anxious (Rebecca), someone with emotionally distant parents ends up unable to connect with other people (Nathaniel), someone with understanding and overly kind parents ends up directionless and lazy (Heather). Interesting.

Beautiful exploration of feminism and double standards. “Put Yourself First” especially encapsulates this, but honorable mentions to “Let’s Generalize About Men” and the Season 2 and 3 intro songs.

Negatives

Josh Chan is a painfully boring character. I almost quit the show, several times, because he showed up on screen and I instantly wanted to do other things. I was told to “just do something else while watching”... what is the point of watching a show if not to overanalyze everything? Why should I watch a show without actually watching it?

So much filler in Season 1. So much filler.

Valencia’s bisexuality had zero foreshadowing. Her girlfriend isn’t even properly introduced to us and just ends up being someone who does the same thing Valencia does.Rebecca on the other hand has plenty of things suggesting she is bisexual and it’s really odd that she ends up being straight?

The show doesn’t seem able to decide if the musical numbers are Rebecca’s fantasies or reality. This especially shows in everything about Valencia’s character. “I’m So Good At Yoga” definitely looks like Rebecca’s fantasy. Then you have musical numbers such as “Women Gotta Stick Together” and “This Is My Movement” where Rebecca isn’t in the room and sometimes has no idea of what’s happening, so it’s not possible for it to be her fantasy.

On the other point of straight up impossible, when Rebecca flies to New York and the Dream Ghost takes her home and shows her Greg does care about her - that does not work logistically, in any way. That makes no sense.

Some of the songs “pay homage” to other songs but it ends up looking more like plagiarism than parody in some parts. I don’t know if she show knew what it wanted to do.

The musical bits sometimes have nothing to do with the actual episode. Sure, the song is still great, but what is the purpose? Some of it feels like Rachel Bloom stuck it in because she wanted to do another music video for YouTube. I understand (and I probably would’ve done the same in her position let’s be real, Heavy Boobs is hilarious even if like.. not relevant at all to what’s going on in the episode), but if you’re going to make a musical then make the music more relevant rather than make a 2+ minute song of something that doesn’t actually matter. Same with Fuckton of Cats - the cats became irrelevant within seconds after the song ended.

I also reacted to this during Getting Bi, which has excellent lyrics very relatable to the bisexual experience, but a lot of what is referenced in the song references bisexual struggles that we have not actually seen Darryl go through. It borderline breaks the 4th wall.

Skylar Astin was good but he’s not Greg.

Other observations

Rachel Bloom and Rebecca Bunch sharing initials, zodiac sign, and religion is probably not a coincidence.

To enter mild conspiracy theory territory... Her husband’s name is Dan Gregor...

Gets even more curious when you consider that they didn’t actually plan for Greg to leave in Season 2 but were forced to write him out because Santino Fontana left.

Overall enjoyed the show despite some glaring writing flaws. Second half of Season 2 and first half of Season 3 is the peak.

#crazy ex-girlfriend #cxg #crazy ex girlfriend #rachel bloom #rebecca bunch #darryl whitefeather #nathaniel plimpton

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jayde-jots · 2 years

Text

Ready for the Gala

For @crossover-fraternity

Spencer paced back and forth along the platform of the Duke and Duchess of Boxford’s privet small station for him, with the Duke himself standing close by tapping his foot while keeping an eye on his wristwatch. “Honestly, I’m regretting humoring her. How long does it need to take to put a dress on? There is no way Jayde would let her pick anything too heavy or flashy.” The Duke said as he watched the doors that lead to the station. “Maybe it’s taking them so long because the Duchess only has dresses like that for them sir.” Spencer said as he stopped pacing for a second. “I do hope they hurry up, I don’t want to be in this monkey suit for too long.” The silver engine said as he gently tugged at the fabric around his neck. “I know ol’ boy, I’d much rather be in anything else myself.” The Duke said as he fiddled with the sleeves of his own suit.

Finally the doors opened to the small station. “Oh finally, I hope Jayde doesn’t mock me for wearing this.” Spencer said as he watched the Duchess walk out in a beautiful gown. “Dear, why did it take so long?” the Duke asked his wife once she took his arm. “Jayde kept on saying no to every dress I had for her until we landed on one she said she would tolerate.” The Duchess said as she looked over to where Jayde then walked in.

Jayde had a very detailed gown on themself that dragged behind them as they walked, they also had a new wig on that had their hair plated to the side over their shoulder. A circlet around their forehead, earing’s, even a bit of eye shadow. If Spencer and the Duke didn’t know any better they’d say Jayde was trying out to become the next Disney princess.

Jayde walked up to the group and looked to Spencer with a none too pleased look. “If you say anything I’m putting you in this and taking that tuxedo.” “Oh nonsense darling, you look amazing.” The Duchess said with a smile. “Ma’am, while I respect your work and what you’ve done for me, I regret letting you convince me into this. I have a formal service suit, I really should have just worn that.” Jayde said as they hugged their arms. “I agree, a lot of the other machines that normally visit aren’t going to get a good first impression of you. Or at least, the impression you’d want.” Spencer said making Jayde groan into their hands. “Now, now everyone, lets hop aboard and get this night over with. Jayde, you are more than welcome to go quickly grab that suit so you can change at the reception.” The duke said making Jayde instantly perk up, and as quickly as they could go grab their necessities. “Oh but she looks so beautiful.” The Duchess said. “Spencer, you have freedom of speech on this one.” The Duke said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ma’am it looked like a fountain explosion over them.” The Duke had to fight hard to restrain the snort that nearly came out of his throat.

Once Jayde was back they all quickly entered the coach Spencer was pulling, this being a tailored coach so the humanoids could fit in it comfortably. When Spencer did the finale check with his temporary driver he came in to the coach to join the others, and then not long after they got moving to the railway museum in York for its fundraiser event.

As they traveled down the way Jayde watched as the scenery went by, they weren’t worried about their humanoid body traveling too far from their quadcopter, they were built for long-distance separation. So it was a joy to Jayde to watch the plains go by as a black sea from a coach. “What do you think Jayde? Like the roles being reversed?” Spencer asked as he sat next to them looking out the same window. “Well nothing beats being able to get somewhere under your own power, but the humbleness of this is quite an experience.” Jayde hummed as they eyed the moon. “Would still rather be up front with me traveling beside my cab?” Spencer asked with a smirk. Jayde elbowed Spencer gently with a snort as they broke into a laugh. “Would you rather be running alongside me around the estate's terrain?” Jayde retorted. Spencer chuckled. “Touche.”

The two traveled in silence for a little longer before Spencer sighed out. “You know, however many times I travel these rails the scenery is the one thing that will never get old. It always manages to stay unique no matter what time of day it is.” “I bet it doesn’t old silver, I can’t wait until the day I can't count how many paintings of scenery I’ve done.” Spencer laughed as it was his turn to elbow Jayde. “I can’t wait until the day I’m a hundred to see that happen young plastic.” The two laughed again as they got comfortable for the long journey.

They rested for a little while before an idea came to Jayde about their destination. “Say, Spencer.” “Hm?” “What can I expect from the other engines that are at this museum? And are there any other types of machines that accompany other rich folk there like the Duke and Duchess?” “Oh there are a few, mostly nowadays they come in their own privet choppers.” “Brilliant, single whirly birds.” “Tell me about it… but about the engines, most of them are actually family members of mine. A few cousins and a few of my brothers.” “Oh? What are your brothers like? You haven’t told me much about them except in passing from your early days.” “They’re like all other Greasley’s before us, proud and smug. I’m actually keen to introduce you to Mallard specifically.” “He’s the blue duck with the record right?” “Pfft! Y-Yes, that’s him.” “I sense an ego that needs to be checked.” “Yep, it’s one of the reasons I was hoping you’d bring out the suit soon.” “Hmm…” Jayde hummed as they looked in the reflection of the glass window.

“I think I’m going to forgo the dress now anyhow.” The ex-military craft said before getting up from their seat and getting their military formal suit. “Ooh, I don’t think the Duchess will be happy with you.” Spencer said as he watched Jayde strip. “I’m her chauffeur and bodyguard, not her mannequin.” Jayde said as they ditched the wig they had and put on their shorter-haired one that was swept backwards. “And besides, it would be dishonourable to not acknowledge my great origins.” “Hm, very fair point.” Spencer hummed as he turned to watch the horizons pass as they got closer to York.

Once they stopped at the platform of the museum for visiting engines, Jayde and Spencer exited their side of the coach and opened the door for the Duke and Duchess. When the Duchess saw that Jayde had changed she pouted. “Aw, couldn’t you even survive the trip Jayde?” she asked. “I figured it’d be more formal to show my official attire given to me by my place of origin ma’am. Besides, I feel I have a lot more to be proud of than in a dress.” Jayde said as they and Spencer took to standing behind the couple and letting them take the lead. The Duke smiled and held his wife’s arm to guide them inside whom smiled back as she held on and began to walk with.

When they entered the front doors the room came into a cheer as the graces entered the building. Soon some of the engines rolled up to Spencer who entered behind his owners with Jayde behind him. To the silver A4’s surprise Gordon was present for this event which was a rare sight. “Good to see you finally arrived Spencer, my what took you so long?” Bittern asked as he rolled to a stop in front of his silver brother. “The Duchess of Boxford was just getting my new work comrade here looking spic and span.” Spencer said smugly as he stepped aside to reveal Jayde in their military formal uniform with medals to display and all.

Most of the engines looked very surprised to see a humanoid that was able to take them in height by a head, but they were also very shocked to see that they were wearing a 100% authentic military uniform suit. “Salutations.” Jayde stoically said down to the smaller humanoids, deciding to take the micky out of them. “Ah… h-hello, whom may you be?” Green Arrow asked as he and a few of the others gave Jayde space. “No.2 of the I.A.H corps and support of the A.R.H.I. But you may call me Jayde. Now, who are you ivory locomotive?” Jayde said looking sternly at Green Arrow.

Though it was Flying Scotsman himself who came to his cousin's seeming rescue. “Why hello then Jayde, pleasure to meet you. I am the Flying Scotsman, and this is my cousin Green Arrow. This here is my brother Gordon, that one there is Bittern, next to him a little away is Mallard, a bit behind us is Duchess of Hamilton, and a lot of others are still in the main hall.” Scotsman said. Jayde clicked their tongue before looking at Spencer. “Quite the odd nuclear family you have Spencer, though, I shouldn’t be one to judge.” Jayde then took a few steps forward and began to float up into the air. “Shall we old silver?” the quadcopter grinned cheekily before pushing off into the main hall. “Oh you cheap shot young plastic!” Spencer cheered as he moved off after them.

The others were quick to follow also but so they could chat more to Spencer about the newcomer. Once they entered the main hall where the preserved engines bodies were sitting they could see Jayde and Spencer move in to stand by their owners who were talking to Sir Topham Hatt. They caught up to Spencer and pulled him aside to talk while Jayde landed close by to their owners.

“Ah, here they are now. Jayde, I would like you to meet Sir Topham Hatt, controller of the north-western railway on Sodor.” The Duke said as he watched Jayde land beside them. “Oh, well hello sir Topham.” Jayde said as they offered their hand out for a shake. The stout gentlemen returned the shake in kind with a smile on his face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Jayde. From what the Duke here told me you’re former military, and I can see you have a few medals.” Sir Topham said as they scaled the humanoid up. “Yes sir, I served in Iraq for two years before being withdrawn from service.” “How come? I would have thought you’d have a far longer working career than that.” “Oh… it was due to ill management sir. A chain of events that ended up in a disaster. I’d rather not speak of it.” “Completely understandable, but while I have you here I was wondering if you would like to meet my engines that I brought with me today, I have a feeling you’ll be seeing them again at some point if you ever come to Sodor along with Spencer someday.” “I’d like that sir, are they close by?” “Yes, Gordon! Thomas! Could you come over here please?”

Sir Topham called out to his two blue engines who both began to head over to his location. Thomas was a hot topic at this event as many photographers came to get a picture of him, the world’s most famous engine in media. And Gordon was in a group huddle with the other engines talking to Spencer when he heard his name being called.

The two came over and stood at attention in front of their owner. “Yes sir?” Thomas asked. “Thomas, Gordon, I’d like you to meet the Duke and Duchess of Boxford’s newest purchase, Jayde the Quadcopter. I expect they’ll be coming over to Sodor this summer with the graces annual summer vacation. So I’d like to get introductions sorted now.” “Ah, I believe someone already introduced me to Gordon before when Spencer showed me to his relatives. But let’s be honest here, the tank engine that needs no introductions, it’s amazing to meet you Thomas.” Jayde said as they kneeled down and offered a hand to the little engine.

Thomas smiled shakily and gently grasped Jayde’s hand to shake it. “It’s nice to meet you mister.” the Duke and Duchess along with Spencer gritted their teeth with an expression that read- ‘uh oh’ when Thomas called Jayde mister. Jayde decided to play a little joke with Thomas once the opportunity aroused, they didn’t let go of Thomas’s hand as they glared with an angry expression to the little loco in front of them. “‘Mister’?” they stoically question with the engines face quickly turning fearful. “I am female. You call me miss.” Gordon backed away from the little seemingly soon to be dead tank engine with sir Topham looking to the Duke and Duchess for them to hopefully intervene.

When the number 1 engine started to attempt to back away Jayde suddenly broke out into a fit of laughter. “Pfft! Hahahahaha! Oh my god you should see the look on your face! Haha!” Thomas was suddenly very confused until it clicked that Jayde was messing with him. “Ooohhh, very good! Haha! You got me hook line and sinker just then.” The little engine laughed. “Hehe, yep. Always fun to take the micky out of unsuspecting little machines. But in all seriousness, I am a girl and not even a decade old, so I am really to be addressed as miss.” “Oh, well, my bad then, it’s a pleasure to meet you miss.” Thomas repeated. “Oh please, call me Jayde. Now, I believe proper introductions are to be had with you Gordon, I’ve been told by Spencer at one point that you were the prototype of the A1’s, is that true?” Jayde asked while moving over to the engine that was closer to their height and offering a handshake.

Gordon seemed to smile a little with pride as he shook Jayde’s hand. “Why yes I was, the proud prototype to a long line of future success!” the other Gresley’s groaned as they had heard that boasting for years now. “I was actually a prototype as well, and once I proved to be a major success in Iraq they made the plans to build more of me after I was discharged, though, I unfortunately doubt I’ll ever have the chance to meet any of them. Say, how about a race? I’ve had many with Spencer up until now but we’re often at an equals, I want to have the chance of racing something new, no offence Spencer.” “None taken?” the silver A4 said sounding confused on whether to be offended.

Gordon hummed before smiling. “Oh why not? But on the condition of you can’t fly.” “Do I look like I was built yesterday? Obviously I’d win if I flew, and I’ve always played fair in a foot race to non-flyers.” Jayde chuckled before unlocking their rotors from their back and removing them. The quadcopter placed the blades on the ground before stretching a little and looking ready to face the big blue engine. “Uh, Jayde?” the Duke asked pointing to Jayde’s suit vest. “I can hold onto those, you go have your fun.” “Oh thank you sir, and nice catch, the last thing I’d want is to ruin this.” Jayde said as they removed their suit vest and gently folded it to hand to the Duke. “I was told there was a track around here?” Jayde asked Gordon. “Yes, just outside, it should be lit up for us to use.” Gordon said as he lead the way to the outside gardens with the other engines following.

Scotsman leaned over to Spencer to whisper to him. “Spencer, be honest, how likely is Gordon to win?” “I’m honestly not sure, me and Jayde always tie.” That set the engines for a little curiosity as they were now a little intrigued.

When the group got outside, they were just in time to bare witness to the end of a pair of helicopters finishing a race as they dived over the green field. They bickered and boasted in the air before looking down to see the engines and Jayde walking out and watching them. “Oh? Did you loco’s finally come out to see the air show?” one taunted. “That was an air show? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were speeding from a flock.” Jayde said with a hand on their hip.

The engines held in some chuckles and bits of laughter as it became obvious that Jayde had touched a nerve with these choppers. “How would you know you human posing weirdo? Last I knew you need rotors to fly.” The other snarled with a few other copters coming over to see the situation. “I almost feel bad for them that they’ve never seen a paper airplane.” Jayde leaned over to a loud whisper at the engines and grinned when they heard the copters rotors revving harder in place. “Well regardless, I have a race to win. Gordon? Limber and ready?” “Don’t be so sure young iron, boasting is the barer of brief karma.” Gordon grinned as they readied up on the track. “I’d ask you about it but I have a book series to do that for me.” Jayde teased back. Gordon gritted his teeth in ready while huffing off some steam, Jayde paid no mind to the cloud of vapoured water as they got on their knees and readied up.

“Spencer? Care to do the honours?” Jayde asked. “Certainly! On your marks, get set… …GO!” the two bolded off at Spencer’s whistle, Gordon gliding into strides of drawn skates, while Jayde’s light deer-like legs ran at the speed of sounding like typing.

You may be wondering why Jayde didn’t just race with their rotors on, yes they wouldn’t be flying so what was the difference if they kept them on? For one instincts on automatically flying would be a fast way to be called out as liar and cheating, and two because Jayde was actually back heavy with them on. So whenever Jayde raced anybody in a foot race they would remove their means of flight to make them lighter and avoid accidently cheating.

As the two humanoids trekked down the lanes and came to the finish line they ended up tying, much to the shock of the others. “Again? Jayde, I’m beginning to think you willingly tie just to not make people feel bad.” Spencer huffed and crossed his arms. “No, no, if I raced Thomas I know I’d win. It’s just you expresses that make me at ties.” Jayde huffed as they breathed to cool their systems down along with Gordon. “That was amazing! For a machine without wheels you actually kept up with Gordon! That’s no easy feat.” Thomas smiled as he bounced around a bit in front of the champions.

“Yes, yes, very fast for a road runner.” One of the copters from before teased. Jayde grinned mischievously before winking at Spencer. “How about a race then?” Jayde asked. The helicopters looked stuped at Jayde’s request before they all burst out laughing, when they realised Jayde was serious they dropped their chortles before addressing Jayde again. “You cannot be really that stupid, you race against any of us? We don’t intend on letting our gear touch the ground.” Spencer grew a little steamy with the insult. He was about to tell them off when Jayde stopped him.

“I’ll just go get my props.” They smirked before skipping back in doors. There was a long few seconds to spare until Jayde got back so Thomas just glanced up at Spencer with a crook smile. “Oh she’s gonna make them trap scrap isn’t she?” he whispered. “Quite likely yes.” Spencer whispered back.

They were proven right when Jayde blazed through the doors and swept up into the sky, their wake of gale shoving the other flyers aside when they rushed past.

Jayde came to a hover in front of the choppers with a scrap eating grin on their face, their military blazer with their medals back on in full view. “Which one of you turbo cutter whirl heads is first?” the quadcopter asked with the glee of a commander. The helicopters suddenly felt very scared when they realised Jayde was actually military, they all parted for a larger humanoid copter that was at the back, he slowly hovered forward to face Jayde. A Westland Lynx, a class that did exactly what Jayde was built for except she was built to do it bigger and better. And if the young craft’s memory served right this guy’s class was to be retired in a few years from now, it seemed one had been withdrawn already and someone privately owned him.

“Your one of those quad-busses aren’t you? A normal drone wouldn’t even be half the size of an engine.” He asked. “I am, what’s a veteran like you doing here?” Jayde retorted. “I should be asking you that young iron.” The veteran spat as the two hovered closer almost butting heads. “Discharged due to metal health, I was fortunate enough to not be sent to an early reapers torch.” “Ugh, I knew this would happen when they started the idea of “humanizing” their crafts, you wouldn’t find anyone older than you with such problems.” “At least I have a life expectancy of quadruple what yours is because of it crack metal.” The two revved their engines hard as they grit their teeth, it was clear that there was a competition brewing.

Spencer to Jayde’s relief stepped in however, him being an actual locomotive he got a more prominent say in this building. “Oi! Save it for the skies you two, put it into the actual competition.” The silver engine scolded the two flyers. Jayde shot a glare at the veteran before landing on the ground in the green field with the other following suit. The younger took off their blazer and left it on the ground before glancing to Spencer to start the race.

He nodded and rolled to the side of their path. “Your course will be around the estate of the museum in five laps, whomever touches down first back here is the winner. On my whistle, take off. On your marks…” Jayde flicked on a second eyelid as extra coverage while the veteran had visor glasses click to in front of his eyes. “…Get set…” the two copters started up their engines fast, their rotors and blades spinning but not taking off. “FWOOOO!” Once Spencer’s whistle blew the two took off with speeds the locomotives could only dream off.

Jayde was lighter, bigger and had more rotors than the veteran, but the chopper was smaller, sturdier and had the stronger engine. It was honestly anyone’s guess as to who would win.

The two dived and weaved through the many trees that were tall enough to be in their path as well as the flag polls. Jayde flew low to the ground to create more air lift as most of the force they made was pointed down evenly, essentially making them a large hover board. The older war machine flew higher to catch the wind and let their blades carry them, he made fast pace with Jayde and was high enough to see a small crowd gathering around to watch them.

Once the two reached their second lap coming up on third, Jayde had given a wicked grin up to the chopper and then flew up to his level, he then watched in shock as the younger rotors reeved their engine harder and began to overtake the veteran by meters and steadily more. Eventually Jayde overtook the older model by a whole lap and landed with a swoop back on the green field with a crowd of engines and humans alike cheering for the winner. When the looser landed he looked extremely out of breath as he slumped to the ground gasping and vacuuming in air to cool his systems down.

Jayde was tackled by Spencer into a hug as he was practically bouncing on his wheels with a smile on his face looking incredibly proud, the other engines scatting around Jayde in circles cheering as they peeped and blared their whistles in congratulations. The humans all giving their cheers as well when the Duke and Duchess of Boxford stepped through the crowd and approached the quadcopter.

“Jayde the Quadcopter!” the Duke shouted causing the crowd to hush up and the other helicopters to look smugly at the taller craft. “Aww flipping fusses…” Jayde groaned. “Trouble thine name is Jayde~” Thomas said in a little mock tone causing the flyer to shoot him a glare.

When the graces had stepped to in front of their flying craft they did not look happy. “What is this? I thought you were better than this to indulge in such juvenile behaviour Jayde, you have always been the bigger person in these situations to heed teasing no mind.” The Duke said. “He insulted my class sir, and gave a very unpropped conduct of view to ground based vehicles.” Jayde argued. “Did he insult any of the engines?” “No, it was a wide based insult.” “Then why did you humour him?” the Duchess asked looking just as cross as her bow. “I believe his ego needed to be knocked down a peg or two.” Jayde said glaring to the veteran who presumably now had his owner by his side.

“Well I hope it was worth it, because now your allowance is going to be lowered and you will have no internet for a week. Spencer, fire up your engine were leaving.” The Duke said causing Jayde to grow wide-eyed. “What?!” they shouted. “I’ve heard enough! Let's go.” Jayde began to fume at their owner's words and paced in frustration for a second before jetting off into the night sky kicking up a lot of wind in their wake. Spencer, the Duke and Duchess all called after them when the silver humanoid saw that his work college was heading in the direction of the estate, likely flying home. “I believe they're flying home your graces, we should see them when we get back.” “Put metal to the peddle Spencer I want us back sharpish.” The Duke ordered before turning on his heels to head back to where Spencer’s engine was residing. “Yes sir…” Spencer hushed out before glumly looking at his cousins and siblings then moving off after his owners.

#cinder scribbles #ttte #jayde the quadcopter #ttte thomas #ttte gordon #ttte spencer #ttte mallard

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