random assortment of drawings i might as well post

bnha guys + jealousy 

➳tamaki, bakugou, kirishima

✎a/n: uuuauahhhgh these r way shorter than usual bc im tired but i wanted to post smth! i rlly rlly wanted to include todoroki but i honestly dont see him getting super jealous. at least not enough to write hcs about. anywa,s,. enjoy

✰warnings: profanity

𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢. 

He doesn’t get jealous really, he just gets scared. He trusts you but at the same time he’s constantly so worried that you’ll grow tired of him. He’s so convinced you’d be better off with someone else and kind of projects that insecurity

So when he gets ‘jealous’ he just gets kind of sad. He doesn’t wanna bring it up because he’s pretty sure it’s just his head messing with him and that saying anything will be unnecessary but oh my gosh he’s so down in the dumps thinking that he’s not good enough for you

You have to approach him about it and pry it out of him before he finally admits he’s feeling jealous and scared. Do you still love him?? Are you tired of him?? Is he too much to deal with; oh my god he shouldn’t have said anything, that probably why you’re annoyed by him–

He just needs some reassurance is all. He’s not the jealous type to remove you from a situation or start getting handsy to prove a point to someone; the last thing he wants to do is interfere with a situation in which you’re happy. It’s just, he’d rather be the reason you’re happy

Just bring him with you sometimes and problem solved, just like that. He’s really just a sad little puppy with abandonment issues

He’ll start feeling a little more confident eventually as long as you help him out dw he’s getting there :)

𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮. 

 He is the definition of insecure and he is going to make it everyone’s problem. Getting jealous is just a regular occurrence, except he doesn’t really learn how to tackle it. 

When he gets jealous he is not subtle about it. If there wasn’t trouble before there is going to be now because he is inserting himself into the conversation, shooing the person off, or just removing you from the situation entirely after making a couple off colored remarks to the person stealing your attention away from him

He always gets a feel for what’s going on before he intervenes though. But if he detects a potential threat? Game over, you’re done, let’s go home, I don’t wanna be here anymore blah blah blah

He’s constantly got his arm wrapped tight around your waist, pulling you closer and closer until there’s hardly an inch between you. Even in the most innocent of conversations he’s shooting glares and trying to let everybody know who you belong to

He would never objectify you but honestly, he’s a little possessive. You’re his and he is not going to let a single person forget that, and god forbid they try and do anything about it because he is not afraid to start a scene. ESPECIALLY when you’re involved

𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚.

Kiri gets SO pouty when he’s jealous. He’s not insecure like the other two; he isn’t afraid of someone taking you away from him or anything, he’s just upset he’s not getting your attention instead

I mean, how dare this mystery person interfere with his romantic fantasies?! You should be smiling for him and laughing at his jokes instead :( 

He’s not possessive like Bakugou either, he’s just absolutely infatuated with you. This man is your number one fan and your number one clown, he’ll do anything to make you smile. Plus, you smile the prettiest when it’s just for him

He gets so touchy when he’s jealous. He’s constantly slinking up behind you and snaking his muscular arms around you, nuzzling against you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. His goal is to make it absolutely impossible to ignore him any longer

He is absolutely not afraid of PDA. In fact, he has zero regard for it. He’s got too much love to show you to contain it to four walls and a door, and who cares if everyone sees? They should all know how lucky he is anyways

Oh, and also that he’s yours to pay attention to :)

Not sure if this has been asked before, but how would Mourningstar react if reader died? Would losing ANOTHER child finally push him past his breaking point?

Oh dear god..... (how dark and I love it and hate it at the same time lol) (Also if y'all wanna reply whether you liked this I'd be stoked because I don't usually go this hard or dark >.>)

Look, it can go one of two ways

(WARNING DARK DISTURBING CONTENT AHEAD! WITHOUT SPOILING TOO MUCH IM GOING TO JUST SAY DEAD DOVE AND GENOCIDE)

(Above should be a page of issue number 9 of Batgirl 2009 if I am not mistaken, i honestly dont know for sure i specifically looked up batgirl 2009 issue 9 marvin though) He doesn't see you as actually being dead. You just can't be dead. You're just tired because of the incident, or whatever it was scared you so badly that you became mute. Any smell you do or dont emit he can chalk up to your scent changing or stopping, which, while rare, can happen, but oh don't worry darling, he'll still love you and your scent, or lack thereof, no matter what. Also, don't worry about you being unable to talk anymore he'll fill the silence or just cuddle you.

Fortunately, I don't think decay works the same way for sinners in hell. Headcanon is actually that unless a body is burned or eaten, it will remain intact indefinitely. There may be some smell, or the scent might disappear completely, but it isn't completely heinous. Point is he's keeping "you" cleaned and dressed and chalking your unresponsiveness up to trauma from the incident if he stares at you long enough without blinking or looking away he can definitely see you're breathing so you're not dead. You. Can't. Be. Dead. You're obviously just too traumatized to eat, or maybe he fed you already. Ah, yes, silly Daddy, you ate your blueberry pancakes this morning because they're your favorite, and you're too full for lunch. He'll spend hours talking to you about anything and everything or just cuddling. You don't move away or anything, so he knows you like it. Everyone else, including heaven, better pray to all that is holy or unholy that he doesn't ever come out of his delusions. "You look so pretty today babygirl. I love that dress on you! The color looks so well against your skin. You look like such a doll darling. Daddy's pretty little doll~"

Option 2:

He knows and he is completely enveloped by an all consuming rage. Heaven won't have to worry about an extermination ever again because Lucifer will purposely murder each and every sinner already in existence or those yet to fall. The pride ring will become uninhabitable to even hellborns, anyone that steps foot there will forfeit their life including Angels. If exorcist or fucking Adam come down he will slaughter them without prejudice and send their heads back to heaven as a notice that no one is welcome anymore and any deal they had was off. Snakes take over the entire ring and make short work of anyone who dares enter. He's buried you next to your sister and mother in the garden and visits every day to tell you he's gotten vengeance for you and will continue to slaughter every sinner who falls or anyone who dares enter the pride ring, he's made a veritable garden of Eden for himself and his family.

putting this here more for myself than anything. i wanna be able to look back at it in a year and see how its changed. explanations for each section under the cut

ship i loved at first sight: tara x piper. i don't know what the ship name is. taper? pira? pira seems nicer lol. anyway, tara used to be my favourite brawler (and is still up there in my top 5) and i think the first time i saw tara x piper fanart was on reddit. it was by Xpyray and i swear to god ive never fallen in love with a ship faster. their art is so fucking good and they dont rlly draw brawl stuff anymore but i still follow them cuz their art is so so so pretty (please go follow them if youre reading this). anyway so yeah thats how tara x piper became my fav ship.

ships i initially didn't like: rico x piper, shelly x colt imma be fr at the start i didn't really Get these ships. but after watching some of the official animations and learning more of the lore, i started to appreciate these ships more. i don't love them or anything but they can be cute

ships i don't like anymore: sandy x nita, leon x jessie, sandy x leon there is no real reason for this other than the fact that i simply stopped liking them as i grew up. as i was making this i realised that when i was younger i used to like the ships with the kids/teens more, but now i'm 17 and i'm just not interested in them anymore. i guess thats what happens when you grow up lol. these ships are still cute, but i just don't engage with them anymore

favourite popular ships: mandy x chester, fang x buster so a bit of background, i actually quit brawl stars for a while, i think after the gale brawl pass. i dont really remember why, but its probably because i just got bored of the game lol. i think that also played into why i'm no longer interested in the same ships as before. anyway, i came back this year during the bizarre circus brawl pass and accidentally fell in love with these two ships. honestly, i'm not even entirely sure why i fell in love with these two ships in particular. chester definitely caught my eye when i came back to the game because a) i love clowns b) i love a good troll c) i love the random XD energy chester has and d) he has super interesting & fun game mechanics. i have no interest in mandy really but then i saw One suggestive mandy x chester fanart that went hard af and suddenly i was on board lmao. on the other hand fang and buster were two characters that i took some time to fall in love with, but now they're my favourites lol it's so strange. i really don't know how it happened.

favourite rarepair: amber x maisie i was looking at a diagram of all the trios so far because i was brainstorming ideas for who to include in a fanfic and as i was looking at it, suddenly it Clicked in my mind that amber x maisie would go hard af. like think about it. overconfident fire entertainer who gets so swept up in performances that she forgets about safety x safety coordinator with a fire extinguisher for an arm who secretly likes being in dangerous situations? come on!!!! im surprised more people havent thought of this pairing cuz as soon as it clicked for me it seemed like such an obvious pairing to do. but then again they've never interacted in any animation/promo material/etc so i guess it's not a pair people would just think of without prompting. but it's so fucking good!!!! more people need to get in on this ship.

controversial ship: none here's the thing. i don't know any controversial ships that i can see myself shipping. the most controversial one i know is probably edgar x colette but i see them as siblings so i don't ship it nor do i engage with fanart of them. edgar and colette ships in general are probably controversial seeing as both of them don't have canon ages and it's vague enough that people are always talking about whether they're adults or minors. but i personally see both of them as older teens so i don't ship them with anyone. (to me, they're too old to hang out with the kid brawlers but also too young to hang out with the adult brawlers. it's weird because there's no other brawlers where i see them as teens, so in my mind edgar and colette both have 0 shipping potential)

ships i want to become canon the most: amber x maisie, fang x buster they're my current favourite ships. what else to say.

comfort ship: fang x buster i think about them All the Fucking Time. lowkey i started to project on fang a bit just cuz i like him so much. i don't even know why or how i started liking him this much but he's my favourite brawler now and it's horrible. i think the seal in the coffin was @/giveittomegay's fanart of them. THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE. like omfg. confident, charismatic chinese immigrant who just arrived at starr park x introverted insecure white guy who doesn't know how to approach others. slowburn where they become closer through working at the cinema and buster realises he's fallen in love basically immediately but fang hasn't realised his own sexuality (has had crushes on girls before so always assumed he was straight) and doesn't realise he's in love with buster until maisie straight up tells him. fang's confidence means he jokingly flirts with buster all the time because he thinks it's funny to tease the guy and make him flustered but doesn't realise buster gets flustered because he likes fang. fang is fucking stupid. also, i think using fang x shelly here as a conflict plot point would be so good. like, fang seeing a pretty girl and approaching her, flirting with her, etc. i like to think fang is dense as fuck and would genuinely believe he's in love with shelly despite buster occupying 90% of his thoughts because his thought process would be something along the lines of "oh, i just think about him a lot cuz he's my best friend, i'm sure this is all regular, normal bff things". and buster just fucking dying inside but not saying anything because he thinks it's none of his business and he shouldn't interfere in fang's love life. MAISIE WATCHING ALL THIS HAPPEN AND WANTING TO MURDER BOTH OF THEM FOR BEING SO DENSE. like ohhhhhh my god there is so much potential here it's fucking insane. side note: fang doesn't have anything against gay people. i like to think maisie x amber comes way before fang x buster, so fang knows gay people exist and like he is perfectly fine and comfortable being around them, he's just so stupidly dense that he doesn't realise HE is gay (or more specifically bi). he also assumes buster is straight because default sexuality and whenever fang makes jokes based on this assumption buster never corrects him. because buster is a pussy. god. i want to write this fanfic so bad but i'm so fucking bad at writing dialogue it's insane.

ships that deserve more attention: amber x maisie, brock x bibi, barley x bull, max x janet LET ME COOK HERE OKAY. amber x maisie i already explained above. brock x bibi (i call them bibrock) is because it's noted in bibi's bio that she's secretly a huge nerd and i think it would be super cute for her to have a bf who she can indulge in nerdy and geeky shit with. to me they're both massive comic book fans who become close by playing all the superhero video games together before branching out to other games. they're console gamers btw and they get SUPER competitive whenever they're playing against each other. but they also do play coop games where they work together. usually brock is the one who does a lot of theorycrafting and tries to minmax his grind so he can get all the resources in the most optimal and time efficient way possible, whereas bibi prefers just going into fights and wrecking havoc lol. barley x bull is because they're both restaurant owners/servers (barley has his bar, bull has his diner) and i think they would bond over shitty customers and interesting food/drink recipes. they're both also familiar with having fights break out in their establishment and are fully capable of shutting fights down, even if it means getting their hands dirty. they think they're on opposite ends of the spectrum but they're actually more similar than they realise. for sure a very slowburn romance (especially because i think bull would be denial about liking a fucking robot lmfao) max x janet is because they're both celebrity entertainers. yeah, that's it. no but seriously i see max as someone who puts up an outgoing persona in public and is generally a very hyper, high energy person but at the same time, she tends to keep people at a distance because she's scared of intimacy. before janet, her closest friends are surge and meg. surge kind of Knows something is up with her because every time he tried to ask about her past she clammed up and gave noncommittal responses. he worries about her but doesn't know what to do about it so he just tries to make her happy in the present. meg is a kid so she doesn't realise anything is wrong lol. hanging out with meg and surge makes max happy and she considers them family, but she still has a wall up around her true self. janet is the one who is finally able to help max come out of her shell and address her past trauma. it also helps that max thinks janet is very pretty and desperately wants to kiss her. this is canon btw don't question me.

first otp: tara x piper | current otp: fang x buster i basically said all i have to say about these ships so yeah. that's it.

im literally so so SO fucking sick of how the women involved with doctor who STILL get treated nowadays. i saw a youtube video of a convention with janet fielding, and the main things people were saying about her include:

complaining about how she distanced herself from the show after she left in the 80s (no mention of how she actually came back for a charity skit with colin baker, but i guess that's not important when you hate her.) she actually left acting altogether in 1991 to become a full time agent, which was a lot of why she didnt return to dw until the early 2000s, since she thought being an actor while also representing actors would be a conflict of interest

complaining that she DID come back in the early 2000s and is now more involved with dw again, assuming it's because she's getting paid. yeah, sometimes people do work because they get paid for it. also, she clearly enjoyed her time on the show, she likes doing behind the scenes stuff and continuing to be tegan so i literally dont know what the issue is here

complaining that she has criticisms of the show whenever she goes off on a "feminist kick". i feel like i dont need to go further into detail here, but i will! what i specifically saw people complaining about was how she thought a lot of the female characters were screamers who had to be rescued by the men (for sure a generalisation, but absolutely a fair one) and (gasp) complaining about having to wear high heels and film in a quarry. perfectly reasonable!!!!! why the entire fuck would tegan STILL be wearing heels every single day when EVERYWHERE they go is a massive danger zone????

my favourite was someone complaining that she "slagged the show off without even watching it", meaning that she criticised some portrayals of female characters throughout the show but said she wasnt watching during ace's run. if she doesnt wanna keep watching she doesnt have to? david tennant did an episode of fish hooks but i doubt he watched the show for the rest of its run, do we give a fuck about that? no? moving on

in conclusion, if a woman says she thought some female characters in a show you love are stereotypical, that she didnt like wearing high heels on rough ground and mentions that she doesnt really watch the show much anymore and your immediate reaction is to get pissy about feminist rants and say you hate her, i really and truly think you're watching the wrong show. and i wholeheartedly believe things would be better if you kept your bullshit opinions to yourself.

:3 Any class (and subclass) headcanons/ideas/theories for Lark? Vaguely related, I can't stop thinking about the fact the he just whistled up a fucking portal last episode?????

i have always assumed lark was a ranger, which is one reason why i was so flabbergasted by grant being the kiddads' ranger. i still think he should be a ranger, a horizon walker ranger specifically, even if it would be dumb and unbalanced for them to have two rangers. literally it makes the most sense. lark is the most ranger guy ever. however, i already made a full post about ranger subclasses for grant, including the reasoning for horizon walker that also applies to lark (namely what you said - WHISTLING TO SUMMON A PORTAL? HORIZON WALKER TYPE SHIT.) SO i will delve into some different ideas instead

if he's not a ranger, then i would guess that he is a fighter, battle master subclass, or a rogue, assassin subclass, with likelihood (in my opinion!) being in that order. thats the tldr. heres the long version LOL:

fighter - fighters are known for being able to wield a wide array of weapons, which makes sense for lark, since he is such a doomsday prepper. he would want to be able to use any weapon he got his hands on. also, indomitable fits lark really well in my opinion. if we wanna talk gear, i'd probably give him chainmail (flavored as bullet-proof vest), two martial weapons (two daggers), a light crossbow and 20 bolts (flavored as a pistol and ammo), and the pack i'm not sure on. i dont think im gonna do gear on every single class but its just part of being a fighter to me to consider that-- subclass wise, we have a few options, listed in order of most to least likely (subjective.)

battle master - the most likely one to me, though now that sparrow seems to be set up as more of the leader than lark, that might change (though i do think that maybe sparrow just takes the head in talking since he's more. uh. sociable than everyone else rn LOL). given how much enemies monologue in dndads, 'know your enemy' would be a super useful skill, and i think if he was spec'd out similar to gerard from neverafter (mostly in the ability to grant other players extra attacks), this would make a lot of sense for him.

champion - listing this because on a meta-level, its extremely easy to play, which makes it an easy pick for anthony. however, i dont think it fits him character-wise because lark would never heal himself LMAO though, to be fair, i dont think the kiddads will ever level up that high

arcane archer - not the best subclass, but very cool to me, and fitting for how all of the kiddads are gun-heavy. banishing arrow would be super useful and fit the general theme of planes and dimensions.

eldritch knight - not as likely, but i think it would be sooo so cool for lark, especially if the eldritch part came from his connection to the doodler. ohhh the drama of gaining power from the eldritch being you swore to eradicate… plus, we get LARK CASTING MAGIC, even if its not as powerful as anything his family can do! so cool!!! this subclass isnt as good for range, but i could see anthony allowing war magic to apply to ranged weapons rather than just blades for the cool factor.

samurai - in general, this subclass is not lark. however, i wanted to mention it because i think their 18th level ability 'strength before death' specifically is very lark. basically, if you get knocked down to zero HP, you can use a reaction to get an entire turn and then you go into death saves. theoretically, you could use this to heal, but its lark - he absolutely would use it to go down swinging.

rogue - other people have made this point for me, but rogues are good for guns if you flavor hand crossbows as such. i actually dont really like rogue for lark, but i dont have a reason why LOL it just doesnt really? do it for me. however, i agree that its likely to fit due to what we know about lark, so i will play my own personal devil's advocate here. i think it makes sense for lark to be the sneaky attacker while the others draw most of the attention, especially since it seems like there would be three magic users (terry jr, nicky, and sparrow) in the group. magic can be used sneakily, but im sure nicky and sparrow at least would lean towards showiness, lol. plus, i think it would be really interesting to flavor 'slippery mind' as like, lark growing a resistance to the doodler after so many years under its influence! once again, subclasses are listed most likely to least likely.

assassin - this works from both an in-character and a meta standpoint, and from what i've seen, this is what people mean when they say lark should be a rogue. its an easy subclass to play, so its good for an NPC. character-wise, with lark's extreme paranoia, it makes sense that lark would spend time studying how to most efficiently kill people. he doesn't want to risk anyone in a drawn-out fight, he's not grant. he just wants things dead as fast as possible.

scout - am i just saying this one is likely being its the ranger-flavored rogue subclass? maybe. but like liSTEN LARK SHOULD BE A RANGER HE IS LITERALLY A RANGER HE IS-

phantom - not very likely, but SEVERELY COOL from a character standpoint. walk with me here. phantom is a rogue subclass where you talk to the dead, but imagine that reflavored as lark being able to talk to like, eldritch beings, even beyond the doodler? or like, maybe the spirits of those killed and used by the doodler? holy SHIT!! it would be COOL.

unfortunately none of this has an explanation on lark whistling a portal Which Is Why He Is A Horiz- [shot] im guessing he has a magical item tho!!!

please dont put ai art in main fandom tags thank you.

Hi, I'm not sure which post or fandom you're referencing? Also not sure what you mean. I don't put random art generated by an Ai on here. I use Ai tools as part of my process to help bring what's in my head to the screen. I have a disability that severely limits the use of my hands, and Ai tools have given me back my ability to create art again. It's been such a blessing to my life, honestly. It was so depressing to spend my entire childhood learning to draw and paint and sculpt, then go to school for it, only to have EDS/MCAS/Epilepsy/detached retinas (amoung other stuff. It sucks, I know) smack me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper in my mid-twenties.

I know there's a lot of misconception about Ai Art right now. What is is, what it isn't. Like those one-shot gens pushed out by people using highly modified ai generators, putting out massive amounts of art that looks super pro but without soul. That's not what I'm doing, but I can totally understand the mixup! What I do doesn't come from a website where a descriptive sentence will give you jaw- dropping art. It's more similar to digital artists using Adobe Photoshop, and is a very involved process requiring days and sometimes weeks of work, several hours a day.

I tried for awhile tho include more about the process, so people can see how hard it is, but this doesn't seem to be the right forum for that. I think Tumblr is maybe more of a "show me the finished stuff" thing? I could be wrong, tho, for sure.

Or, am I miss-tagging? I know a lot of my art is not just fanart, but fanfic fanart. Is that it? I do wanna get my tags right... Hmm

Let me know! Since you posted anonymously, I'm not sure if you'll get a notification of my reply. Go ahead and PM me, if you like. I think I have the PMs open. :)

Meanwhile I'll tag this to the fandoms I'm tryna make inroads with. Maybe someone there will know!

Oh, right. Here are some examples:

A Harry Potter chapter heading for the fanfiction audiobook Im recording, shown here mid-process. I can see it in my danged ole head, but its over a week in and still struggling. I had to even uninstall/reinstall my entire system when it went belly up due to a bad extension, yargh. The scene is chapter 17 of The Muddy Princess, by Colubrina.

These are a culmination of about a month of work trying to hone in on Taylor Heberts face. I picture her as an amalgamation of about three different awesome women I've known in my life...plus Claudia Black! I think they're pretty good, but not 100%. I'm still trying to find the right place to post my art and discuss with people, but tumblr seems to be not the place for that sort of thing.

But anyway. Yeah. Where should I sort these so the people who wanna see em can see? Am I getting it right?

Aw man I'm really glad people enjoyed the caption to my hades drawing too. That makes me really happy -w-

I have been thinking of him a lot especially like lore and backstory stuff the past month or so. I actually took a trip into his tag today and i was pleased when i saw some older posts that said 'idk anything about him yet' basically, and to think that now i do is really nice like hell fucking yeah thats solid progress! that i wasnt sure i was gonna manage but i did it!! and in terms of backstory and such im still ironing out the kinks but man. its good so far i think... i love him a lot. i wanna do him justice.

i have to settle on more stuff for cd before everything fits though. namely connon I really need to rework her super bad. or do away with her entirely idk but i dont wanna do that... she might jsut need like. a complete overhaul and a fresh coat of paint too or something tbh bc she also deserves justice!! unfortunately i just keep not knowing what to do with the poor girl like hello. i dont want her to just Be There but I keep having trouble. i love her sm but what is her deal fr!!

I will also try to include more lore in my captions from now on i think... the urge to be a little funnie in them is always there but that one post i saw the other day really stuck with me. you have to be earnest in order for others to perceive what you do as such and reducing everything to humor takes away from it if it is not originally meant to be humor. basically what im saying is i will take better care of my captions from now on!! or i will try to at least. because my ocs and headworlds mean very much to me -w-

hey we're back with another quirk quuestionnnn. me this time! (Tomura Shigaraki), while you're at the questions. do you think you could make a semi-understandable explaination of my quirk for my uh,,, 'friend'? she's never seen my source and I wanna explain to her why I always have a finger or two off whatever im holding, and why i wear gloves :3 totally cool if not, and if u dont have any questions abt my quirk

-Shiggy

OMG OFC AND I HAVE SO MANY NOTES ABOUT YOUR QUIRK TOO

So from what I've gathered, you can decay anything you touch with five fingers. In the beginning of the series to appeared to be that you could only decay what you directly touched, but after your "upgrade", you were able to extend it to what anything that was touching the thing you touched, whatever was touching that thing, etc etc. I can't quite figure out if it's involuntary or voluntary, but by how the series progressed I'm guessing it was involuntary at first (ie why you had fingers off and/or wore gloves), although I'm not sure if it changed after your "upgrade".

Or, to make it even simpler: if you touch something with all five fingers it disintegrates, and having one/two fingers off and/or wearing gloves prevents that (speaking of which, would it be like artists gloves so that not all of your fingers are covered and therefore not touching the gloves?)

NOW NOTES I MADE ON YOUR QUIRK A WHILE BACK :D

Hint: your quirk is element based

So Decay can (obviously) destroy organic matter. And it's easy to understand how, the cells just die and turn to dust. But, then how does Decay destroy inorganic matter? Let's focus in on cement.

So, cells are made of water, inorganic ions, and carbon-containing molecules. But we're gonna focus in on the inorganic ions. So the inorganic ions for cells include sodium, potassium, magnesium, calcium, phosphate, chloride, and bicarbonate. Now, concrete is made of calcium, silicon, aluminum, iron, magnesium, calcium sulfate, sulfur, and alkaline. Did you notice something? Yup! Calcium and magnesium both repeat. And why is that important? Well, to make cement (which helps aid concrete) you need the correct amounts of all the ingredients listed above. And what does too much calcium and too much magnesium do?

If you guess that too much calcium causes the cement to expand and disintegrate and too much magnesium reduces the strength of the cement, then you'd be correct!

Oh, why does this matter? Because that's what Decay does. Decay rapidly increases the amount of calcium and magnesium in cement, destabilizing and disintegrating the cement. This also explains why in Jaku city parts of the city were still intact, even though Decay had spread through there. Cement isn't everything in a city, so it can't destroy the entire city.

Now, you might be asking, how does Decay spread though? It disintegrates things, yea, but you got stronger and then didn't have to directly touch things, so how does that play into the theory?

The answer: It's a supernatural quirk! Most emitter quirks are going to be supernatural instead of chemical quirks, and most tranformation and mutation quirks are going to be chemical quirks instead of supernatural quirks. BUT that doesn't mean that supernatural quirks can't be linked to chemical quirks, nor that chemical quirks can't be linked to supernatural quirks!

Also, I'm guessing that your quirk rapidly increases/decreases the amount of elements in different things to make them decay. I think it's a subconscious cell thing that happens, but I do wonder if you were able to finish the "upgrade", if you could control what elements, which would open up a whole new avenue of opportunities...

But I hope this helps :333

you wanna elaborate on the Heinkel-Otto parallels?

SURE THING ANON 👍👍 alright so a while back i made this reinhard-otto parallel analysis here if youre curious and wanna check that out - i also briefly go into how the suwen and astrea families have kind of sort of crossed paths? and also ottos hometown (picoutatte) is historically where ex novel drama involving wilhelm, theresia, stride, etc happened so theres that too!!

yeah so apart from the suwens and astreas having small connections in the past - regarding heinkel and otto specifically, i think the two biggest parallels are 1. the…. alcoholism……. and 2. certain. Aspects. of their personalities. im just gonna address the alcoholism first bc thats probably the most obvious parallel. (also im gonna go into arc 8 spoilers a bit btw!!)

so. i mean we all know heinkels an alcoholic - hes turned to alcoholism to deal with the Trauma Conga Line thats basically been his family history. and yeah. id say ottos an alcoholic too. when we're first introduced to otto in arc 3, hes off in a bar drinking to cope with getting into debt. in general he seems to drink often, which in story its acknowledged that yeah, hes a merchant, negotiations often include a bit of alcohol and otto knows hes gotta be able to hold his liquor - theres an arc 5 side story where he goes to find the dude he needs to restore the tome, ottos brought liquor as a gift, then they drink and thats why theres that one bit in arc 5 where otto shows up again late and hes drunk as hell lasjdfljds. but also like we get more confirmation that otto drinks to cope bc at the beginning of arc 5 after the emilia camp-ana camp meeting, hes drinking and complaining about how shitty the emilia camp's negotiation skills are to garfiel and subaru, who both act like this (otto getting drunk to deal with stress) is something that happens often. (im referring to the wn btw i dont have access to the ln hah)

(also this ask turned out very long so im putting the rest of it right under the cut)

This is what he's like when he's drunk. He's working a stressful job, so they give him his drinking time, but it might actually just encourage even more stress.

also additionally theres a few more alcohol-related things with otto. like how he gets drunk at the end of arc 4 knighting ceremony celebration - which yeah hah you can chalk up to him just you know drinking at a party to celebrate the occasion, but i swear otto 1. just keeps getting drunk on and off screen and 2. given otto is a very Anxious person, the timing of him getting drunk as hell at this party celebrating not just subarus knighthood but also like. officially marking safety - for now - and the end of all the arc 4 mindfuckery that otto got dragged into.... like the moment otto got reunited with alcohol again in arc 4 he decides to get blackout drunk akdndn. the timing is very interesting, i think. or maybe im just reading into that a bit too much hah but im 100% sure ottos an alcoholic anyway so.

(other alcohol stuff with otto includes him having to get banned from alcohol after he was bedridden bc of his arc 5 leg injuries + every time we see otto drink alcohol in canon he drinks to get drunk aidndnd. EVERY TIME.)

anyway moving on to other details. i think its interesting to look at heinkel and otto as characters and examine who they are as people and also their arcs bc 1. i do think theyre a bit similar in some ways and 2. this factors into Why their coping mechanisms are incredibly bad T^T

yeah so. heinkel as i said earlier. we all know hes dealing Badly with his familys entire trauma-filled drama. but i also think its interesting to examine him as a person in Full, and what i mean by that is - the heinkel we see in the main story is very different from the person he used to be. and we dont get a lot of content on younger heinkel specifically, but we get still get a Lot out of it. we see that he used to be a kinder person. he loved and doted on reinhard (when you have a four year old that sneaks out of the house just to see his dad bc he got worried about his dad and the moment he sees his dad he immediately goes up to him - like that shows TRUST). and heinkels given a lot of interesting descriptions in the once upon a time in lugunica side story that are very much at odds with how he is in the present day - he has a "gentle" face, "his voice and countenance was sweet", marcos explicitly tells him "It's time you stop being nice to everyone. It's because you're like this that you've been forced into a job you're not suited for." and this is also after we get the implication (?) that heinkel basically got peer pressured into being the one to ask marcos to come back and rejoin the knights.

marcos also purposefully pokes aggressively at heinkel's insecurities; you get the sense that heinkel is lonely, most likely friendless, an outcast even as hes simultaneously well known due to his family. marcos insults heinkels abilities as a swordsman, and marcos also harshly says that heinkels cocky and tries addressing marcos as if theyre friends when theyre not. "Since when were we such good pals, you and I? Surely you don't think so just because we have the same teacher? How many students does Bordeaux have? Are all of them your friends?" and heinkel tries his best but ultimately hes in the shadow of his family and hes expected to be able to keep up while also looking after reinhard and desperately trying to find a cure for his wife (who was most likely his only Equal and close companion).

but heinkel in the end always falls short of expectations. hes painfully aware of this, with the implication that its always been this way basically for the majority of his life, if not all of his life. and being an astrea and being a knight means that hes watched very closely - or at least thats what i think is the most likely case. so when you compare younger heinkel and current heinkel, you also get the sense that he eventually burned out and gave up even trying that hard at much of anything. thats why he kind of doesnt give a shit most of the time about being harsh and mean, lashing out, saying almost anything he wants, doing what he wants but also failing miserably at that 99% of the time, and also he falls deeper into his alcoholism too and doesnt care about showing this either. hes very publicly a disgrace. he knows this. hes an emotional wreck and he cant crawl out of his own failures, so why care about what other people think? why try to fix himself? its too late. hes a miserable man only driven by 1. spite towards his family and 2. trying to find a cure for his wife and 3. his own alcoholism and 4. possibly his kind of sort of care for schult (aka heinkels reinhard replacement T^T). and we see in arc 7 and 8 too that hes so depressed and tired and jaded after dealing with a lifetime of failure that he just. kind of gives up. last time we see him in arc 8 hes being dragged around by groovy and rowan and he was drinking with rowan in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

so. what about this is similar to otto?

well, otto and heinkel both struggle with dealing with their emotions and insecurities. with heinkel thats pretty easy to see, but with otto its harder to see until you hit the really Obvious parts (arc 8). like yeah, otto gets flustered a lot, hes simultaneously sensitive but at the same time hes pretty independent, he can handle himself, he's dependable - right? but the thing with otto is that he and heinkel both have a habit of lashing out. theyre anxious. they turn to numbing behaviors to cope. theyre pushed around by external factors but at the same time theyre also reckless and do things that speed towards inevitably helping in destroying themselves. they both have friendless and lonely backstories, theyre Extremely aware about their own weakness and powerlessness especially when it comes to dangers theyre up against and especially when it comes to comparing themselves to others. they get Very angry at people they love(d), which makes them get aggressive, and for heinkel we know for sure that theres a LOT of resentment there, and for otto, the anger is Bordering on resentment if it isnt already kind of resentment at this point. theyre also haunted by their failures - with heinkel this is more obvious, but i think once you examine otto deeper hes also kind of dealing with this too.

that, and - while otto hasnt hit rock bottom like heinkel has, i think that if otto keeps going down the path hes on now, hes gonna end up hitting that rock bottom and end up having a similar fate to heinkel right now. bitter. jaded. tired. burnt out and angry and miserable. which, when you look at the ifs - yeah any otto that ends up enslaved by russell fellow ends up bitter, jaded, tired, and an empty shell of himself. and this is also, of course, assuming that the main otto permadeath flags dont happen aljsdfljsd. because if you remember otto's third trial line, it was something along the lines of "if that's the case, then you should've left me in that cave (to die)!" (correct me if im wrong) which 1. sounds like something he would say at any point in the current arc 8 otto-related conflicts and 2. my guess is that this line is referring to when otto was captured by the witch cult in arc 3 and put in a cave. otto is eventually gonna reach a point where he just goes "well you shouldve left me to die in that cave then" which. you know, its not boding well for him hah.

and yeah so. ok im gonna try and elaborate a bit more on some of what i just said about heinkel and otto hah bc its a whole list.

heinkel and otto, i think, have spent so much of their lives with factors out of their control while simultaneously making decisions that make things worse for themselves.

of course with otto, this also manifests as his bad luck - his luck is so bad that he nearly drowned as a baby in the bath, in addition to generally being clumsy his whole life. like this is "getting fucked by the universe itself" levels of bad luck. then you have the impact otto's dp left on him which leads to him having problems with socializing with others, which also leaves him friendless and also bullied growing up (see: people ostracizing him and calling him a "freak") and later he gets chased out of the town by assassins...... then he almost gets sold into slavery, gets captured by the witch cult and almost dies to them, etc...... yeah its a lot. but then you get to otto CHOOSING to save roswaal's tome and that tome being one of the demands the witch cult makes during the arc 5 siege. and then otto gets injured by ley as a punishment for this. he spends time being bedridden, having to be banned from alcohol, knowing that some of his friends are off on some dangerous mission that he cant do anything about, and also he cant be his usual workaholic self either. when we see otto again in arc 7-8, he's participating in a full fledged WAR. and he's decided to dedicate himself to opposing subaru despite being warned that he'll destroy himself doing so. otto is making Poor Decisions right now.

otto turns to micromanaging to deal with all of this, while heinkels the one whos at the point where he gives up. he cant really go on without being pushed along. he collapses to his knees in the middle of the battlefield in arc 7 and he admits out loud that he cant do this (specifically addressing louanna as he does). for otto, he's dealt with his biggest more traumatic events thatve caused the most change in him (pre-arc 3 and arcs 3-8) all crammed in the past year. for heinkel, he's been dragged through the dirt by life and his own decisions for around the past twenty years of his life. thats more than HALF of his life. hes thirty-nine, which, yeah thats older than a lot of the cast but thats only because so much of the cast is in their twenties and under. thirty-nine is not that old. especially when you remember that that means heinkel had reinhard when he was nineteen.

but again, we dont get too much content from heinkels pov directly, but theres no denying that much of the shit happening to him is also his fault. hes ultimately self-destructive and hes also pretty much destroyed his relationship with reinhard (and people like carol and grimm, judging off of how carol understandly reacts negatively to heinkel and grimm likely follows suit), which really DID NOT need to happen. yeah. all the astrea drama involving louanna falling into a coma, theresia dying, wilhelm being an Ass, reinhard being the sword saint, the astreas in general being watched and controlled by the kingdom, and general expectations from the world are all out of heinkel's control. what couldve happened, however, is that heinkel couldve done his best to be an adult and a parent to reinhard - ESPECIALLY when he still had carol and grimm to help out with that - which wouldve turned out better for both himself and reinhard. but that didnt happen.

heinkel turned on his own son and pushed everyone away. otto has similar isolating behaviors, because like heinkel, otto doesnt actually talk to anyone in a way that makes himself vulnerable. heinkel and otto arent actually close with anybody. which, again, isnt helped by the General unpleasant aspects of their personalities (anger, irritation, lashing out, etc).

its hard to see otto's isolation more than heinkel (who is very clearly hated by a bunch of people, his wife has been in a coma for ages, and basically almost no one respects him so like. OF COURSE he doesnt have anyone to confide in), but i think that it gets more clear when you look at otto closely. yeah, otto usually makes it clear when hes annoyed or irritated or angry about something, and otto does things like declare hes subarus friend or open up about his backstory to the emilia camp in various side stories - but hes never actually more vulnerable. when you look at him talk about his backstory, it doesnt feel like theres emotion attached to it - its more like "yeah this happened and this happened". its more factual. and then you remember that he doesnt actually talk about his feelings any deeper than that with Anyone. hes either got his head stuck in work, or theres the occasional "otto sneaks off and gets drunk" scene, or theres all the times where otto goes "yeah so i did this for you, subaru, but im not gonna tell you why or anything" or "yeah i will totally leave at the first sign of danger", or otto only lets himself be a tiny bit vulnerable at a time. like when he tells subaru that theyre friends, or when he reunites with subaru in arc 8 and takes the time to sneak into the room just to quickly say that hes glad that subarus back and to not worry that much. but its absolutely more focused on other people, namely subaru, and not otto. his problem in arc 8 is that hes keeping all his feelings to himself because its all connected to all his other secrets (his arc 8 plans). hes open about being pissed off about staying in vollachia, but its more so "this is a dumb decision and puts us in danger, the more logical route would be to leave" and less "im afraid that we might get hurt the longer we stay here and its making me anxious and angry". he doesnt ACTUALLY talk to anyone in depth about whatever the hell his issues are (roswaal doesnt count bc otto just brushes off roswaal's warnings), he just insists on dealing with it himself like he does with almost anything. his tsundere habits are normally played for laughs, and yeah it IS amusing. but no completely well-adjusted person deals with intimacy by getting all pissy like otto does. why did he see subaru in the forest in arc 4 and immediately jump to punching subaru and giving a "this is why you suck, but also please just let me help you" speech?

and when it comes to like - complicated issues regarding Relationships, you look over at heinkel too and heinkel still misses reinhard. heinkel wouldnt need to use schult as a reinhard replacement if heinkel didnt actually miss reinhard deep down. theres like a love-hate dynamic there when it comes to heinkel and reinhard - heinkel hates reinhard the sword saint. but heinkel misses his son, which is interesting because schult Conveniently looks and acts like how a younger reinhard would, right? heinkel and little kid reinhard was most likely the last time heinkel was ever happy, judging off of the trajectory of heinkels life so far. reinhard is the last person that heinkel has left, and reinhards near silence when hes anywhere near heinkel says so much because there USED to be love there. but heinkel very much obviously resents reinhard now because after reinhard kills theresia in arc 5, heinkel VOWS to make reinhards life a living hell.

its kind of like a version of otto deciding to oppose subaru but to a Much Further extent, because otto doesnt hate subaru. but otto hates subaru's actions in arc 8 because it puts subaru in danger. but again, ottos playing with fire here because the ottosuba conflict is pitting them against each other and Resentment and Anger are gonna come out of that. and i think that otto misses subaru, because the arc 8 conflict is drifting them further apart more than ever. ottos afraid to lose subaru, so hes been going to extremes to not lose subaru. heinkel, i think, thinks that hes Already lost the reinhard that he loved. so turning to schult + getting rid of the current reinhard is the next best thing. otto is still clinging onto subaru with all his might, basically. which ironically is what heinkel was doing with reinhard - especially with Everything going on with the astreas - until that switch from "reinhard is my son and he wouldnt kill his grandmother" to "this is all reinhard's fault" happened somewhere around when reinhard was five or so. that switch wasnt instant. you dont go from loving to hating someone in an instant in most cases, and we know that heinkel defended reinhard from wilhelm at first. this change was gradual, the cracks just started then.

we're seeing these cracks happen with ottosuba, because subaru is ottos closest relationship. theres something to be said too, about the slight parallel between heinkel-louanna and otto-subaru in the sense that i think that theres a very likely chance that heinkel knows that even if louanna wakes up, she most likely wont like him anymore. and theres no way that heinkel doesnt know that things wont be the same anymore with her anyway because she was frozen in time. shes twenty years old. the same age as their son. shes missed Way Too Much, and if she even still remembers anyone, shes absolutely not going to approve of heinkel being an absolute asshole. and i think heinkel hates himself too much NOT to notice - at least a little bit - this. that louanna might just end up hating him in the end. but heinkels one redeeming quality now is that hes still dedicated to his wife all these years later. hes been trying to find a cure for her since he was twenty one years old. theres a side story where we see him in the present tracking down a possible lead and being absolutely devastated AGAIN that the lead was a dead end and theres still no cure. and this is with the possibility that heinkel knows that louanna might end up hating him when she wakes up anyway.

and otto, with all of his intelligence and how much time he devotes to doing things behind subaru's back, most likely knows that subaru will end up angry and devastated and might even hate otto if he ever finds out about ottos plans regarding louis/spica. like imagine being subaru and you find out that otto, someone you very deeply trust, has been keeping secrets so that your DAUGHTER dies. like this is relationship ruining shit, and theres no way that otto doesnt know that. otto knows that subaru cares about her. otto knows all about subarus love for others and his self-sacrificial tendencies. thats why ottos keeping all these secrets - he knows subaru wouldnt approve and he does it anyway. i know i love to joke about how otto is basically hitting subaru with a car and then trying to nurse him back to health like a baby bird but that is quite LITERALLY what otto is trying to do.

also regarding otto and heinkel being insecure about their weaknesses: heinkel is clear with this - the dude has been scrutinized by everyone for at least the past twenty years, AND everyone else in his family from theresia to wilhelm to reinhard is more powerful and capable than he is. this is also not helped by heinkels alcoholism, general mental instability, and reoccurring failures - failing to measure up to expectations, failing to find a cure for louanna, theresia almost killing him in arc 5 and then being killed by reinhard in front of him, and the first time theresia died was because she went on the white whale mission in heinkels stead because he was too afraid to go on it and KNEW that he wasnt fit for that mission. AND THEN reinhard got her sword saint dp. heinkel has dealt with a lot of failure in his life. it made him bitter and harsh but its worn him down. otto is the one whos gotten Sharper because of his own failures.

with otto, we dont see much insecurity about his powerlessness UNTIL arc 8 is extremely straightforward about it with "walking in light/darkness". otto compares himself to julius, emilia, subaru, and says that they walk in the light while he walks in the dark. its honestly sad to see - this is otto acknowledging that he CANT be as good as julius, emilia, and subaru. otto straight up lists their good traits - their idealism, their determination, their ability to see the good in things and try their absolute best at that - and otto says that he cant do it. otto acknowledges that hes basically useless compared to them unless he resigns himself to the "darkness" - so he takes up being an enemy, essentially, to subaru as his reason to live on. its quite frankly depressing and self-destructive. hes going "i cant be good like them, so why try? i'll go another path even if it kills me" which i think is a sentiment heinkel can relate to.

but heinkel and otto think that theres no other option than what they are Now when thats clearly not the case. and they need to see that theres Other Ways to go about their lives. theres no need to stay in the darkness forever, which is the key problems they need to deal with at the moment.

and one last quick note - yeah, heinkel and otto are the black sheep of their family. of course, the suwens have an actual healthy family dynamic while the astreas are a whole mess of generational trauma, but otto notes that hes lead to a lot of trouble for his family. iirc in the arc 4 wn he calls himself a burden on them too and how he'd like to pay them back for all the years they looked after him despite all the trouble he brought (you know, regarding ottos dp, that one time he caused a bug swarm in the town, being chased out by assassins, etc). otto is basically the unwitting "trouble child" of the family. this is a fact that also increases when you remember the ifs - in every if, either otto ends up dead, sold into slavery, or hes main otto whos stuck in the middle of a war right now and is willing to get his hands dirty. otto is known to his whole family as someone who gets into trouble, and they all worry about him but purposefully make a point to not think about him too much or theyll get anxious thinking about wtf hes even doing.

meanwhile heinkel is a black sheep with his own family in the sense that 1. this is even reflected in his character design with the sheer amount of black and brown hes wearing - just take a look at his design compared to the rest of his family and 2. hes way weaker compared to everyone else (not counting louanna) and 3. hes distant from all of them. wilhelm, theresia, reinhard. regarding wilhelm and theresia - we dont know much about their parenting when it comes to heinkel, but its interesting to note that it seems that even before everything went Wrong, it may have been a bit distant. when theresia tells wilhelm that heinkel cant go on the white whale mission, wilhelm calls heinkel a coward. i know that like all these characters are thinking with Medieval Logic, but its still a Cold thing to say. if heinkels not ready for that mission, then hes going to fucking die on that mission, which doesnt seem to occur to wilhelm. like yeah, theresias sworn off sword sainting and its a whole Thing that shes got trauma about. but theresia the sword saint logically wouldnt have died on that mission if it wasnt for pandora + losing her dp suddenly. heinkel on the other hand most likely wouldve died if he went on that mission.

and post-Everything Going Wrong in the Astrea Family, in arc 5, theresia is dying again and her last words are ONLY for wilhelm. she has more than enough time in her last moments to spare AT LEAST a quick "love you" for reinhard or heinkel but she doesnt. she has nothing to say to her son and grandson, and heinkel notes that theresia looked hatefully at him and reinhard. heinkel specifically says something along the lines of "who else could that have been but mother?" after noting how she looked at him too. yeah, heinkels an unreliable narrator who thinks that everyone around him hates him just like he hates himself (see: his narration in arc 7 thinking that another character is looking at him angrily when that character from their pov just Pities him). but at the same time - theresia not having anything left to say to her son and grandson is not a good look. and wilhelm deciding to turn his back on five year old reinhard, and most likely heinkel for trying to defend reinhard at the time, is not a good look either. this is also not helped by heinkel again being very Publicly an absolute wreck, so of course no one respects him.

so yeah uh. tldr: heinkel is an extreme version of ottos worst traits in a lot of ways and otto is just the one thats a little better at looking put together while heinkels so damn tired hes given that up a long time ago. and if otto keeps trying to do questionable shit hes gonna end up miserable in a very heinkel-like way. they are both pretty sad and pathetic and also in desperate need of psychiatric help <3 also they need to ACTUALLY address their core issues and feelings or they are going to keep being fucked in that darkness forever for sure.

oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

or

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

or

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

or

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it���s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

oh, for the little writing game how about sakusa wasn't sure if it was a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew... 

also, sorry in advance if the prompt is not very useful haha (๑^-^;๑) i'm sending you lots of love, nohr ♡ you are a fantastic writer!!

ELLE !!!! this one RAN from me i swear i have no idea how it got so long...... it was so fun!!!!!! i hope you enjoy it! im not sure if its exactly what you envisioned but i hope it works all the same and makes you smile !! i love a little lovesick-but-very-awkward sakusa so much.... have a whole fic in my mind for him about being Like That with msby supporting him in woo'ing you //sobs hes SO GOOD had to give this a read more bcos it got long and dont wanna attack anyone with the length LKJFESKFJS <33333

send me a sentence + character and ill write a short scenario where the sentence's included!

Sakusa’s late. It’s a long list of annoying circumstances that makes him late for the last practice of the season – one that he’s been dreading because not much has gone his way and ending it on a negative note grates him. He’s in need of a new phone currently and while that may seem unrelated, it’s unfortunately not. His alarm clock – that Miya talks shit about because who uses alarm clocks in 2022? – laid it’s life last winter and he hasn’t been able to find one that’s the same.

Which is important, because the sound of the clock is what matters and his old one was right.

So he’s been using his phone the past year and it hasn’t been much of a problem for the first part until the battery mysteriously started being unreliable. First, he cursed the charger and bought two or three new ones before he had to finally admit it had nothing to do with those – but that his six-year-old Huawei was about to say goodbye.

Which is still impressive because back then he picked the phone based on the price and didn’t expect it to last as long as it has. He was a broke student at the time and while he isn’t one now, the phone market has become so over-saturated and frankly overwhelming. Every time he goes online to check out which phone to purchase there’s a long list of perks that makes him decide on one – and then he stumbles upon a Reddit post that tells of the longest lists of downsides he’s ever seen.

And it’s like this with every phone he finds. Which pisses him off and he’s been putting off getting a new one precisely for that reason. Komori’s talked about just getting the first and best one since they’ll all have drawbacks but it seems like too a significant choice to just leave up to random chance – what if one of the exact downsides are what he needs the most?

But his alarms didn’t go off – and last night he came in late because Bokuto, Hinata and Miya insisted on watching movies and eating together. If they mention how late he stayed, he’ll probably tell them he felt it rude to leave. If he wasn’t so grumpy from waking up on the wrong side of bed, he’d have told them he had fun. Genuine fun.

He opens the doors to the arena they train in and go straight to the changing rooms. He’s trying to turn on his phone as he walks, knowing the way by heart. Considering that others might walk on his exact route wasn’t on his mind today, so the impact he feels at walking straight into you and dropping his phone makes him yelp out loud. He inhales sharply to try and mask his embarrassment from making the sound of loud. He narrows his eyes as he watches you, keeping himself as neutral as possible.

Of all days, he meets you today.

Sakusa’s not sure if it’s a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but he knew… today would be the day he asks you out. After all, he won’t have a reason to come here for a while as off-season begins.

There’s a small café in the sports arena that mostly sells sports drinks and quick foods for the athletes who come here. You work there and every day you sell him all the sports drinks for the entire team. He volunteers to pick them up every time so he can have a chance to talk with you but fails miserably every time. It always becomes a stuttering string of words as he pays for the drinks and bows at you before he awkwardly tries to balance them all in his arms.

Once, you even helped him carry them. He blushed the entire way and said not a single word to you.

You apologize and bend down to pick up his phone. The screen is shattered to pieces – no luck turning that on now, he thinks. You start to apologize profusely as you realize what’s happened and he yells, “it’s okay, it was”- he clears his throat to control his volume- “broken anyway!”

You nod but still let out a final apology, “I have to get a new one too, it’s just so annoying to find one between all the brands…” you scratch at your scalp with frustration. Sakusa’s eyes lights up – a common subject!

“Do you want to buy new ones together?”

Fuck. That’s too direct. You laugh and your smile takes his breath away, “…sure? It might be nice to discuss it with someone besides the seller trying to make a buck!” you nod, “you’re Sakusa, right?”

You introduce yourself properly for the first time and it’s not until Miya comes and yell for him to hurry or coach’s gonna kill you that he’s able to leave your side.

“Come by the café in your break and I can give you my contact information!” you promise him as you watch him walk away. Sakusa steals not one but two glances back at you before the door to the changing rooms closes behind him. He’s never been happier about a broken phone in his life.

oooo if you ever wanna talk abt caters system my dms are always open!!! :D also i wish you luck on your journey, ik how confusing it is in the beggining (i have did) ,,,, im sure youll figure it out, slowly! and i know some stuff abt it so if you want to learn lmk :]

i also have a hc of ortho osdd-1a or 1b :3c im not so sure on the specifics but ye

now to the rambling!!!

for floyd i go off some HCs i have for her, like him having the adhd + autism + bpd combo, which makes him a very unstable fella. i also HC that the coral sea was Rough, principally where he comes from, so the circumstances werent at her favour and Boom, did system

some of his alters are sea-life based, but brainmade, with a ton of diff species! the others are based off songs she likes & characters she sees herself in/relates to! sometimes the characters resemble jade, too. theres only a few trauma holders, most are protectors or soothers, and some persecutors!

theyre like. that weird, big family down the street. they all like each other a lot but they looove to bicker and brawl and all of that. ALSO all of them Love jade too! they see him the same way they see floyd :D shes included in their weird family, floyd says shes an honorary member of his system!!

iii think his inner world would be like. a beach house! close to the sea and such, cause hes a mermaid but he also likes having legs. so beach house it is! its veey big and lively! i also think hed learn it after he comes to land, maybe in the middle of his freshman year, but he wasnt very affected by it. hes also very open about it he does not give two shits lol

for riddle... its canon that her childhood was shitty, ever since she was old enough to talk & walk, so its no wonder hes a system too lol. i hc her as autistic + bpd and that heavily influenciated the whole splitting too

she has some brainmades, mostly based on flowers & animals (ladybug & rabbit), But i also HC that she has some alters from an old novel she red while small ! one he loved soo much and his brain split the guys. i even have their roles (soother, protector, gatekeeper, and some others) but anyways! most of her alters are either from books or brainmade, and theres a shitton of trauma holders. she has like only 1 or 2 guys from songs cater showed her and Thats It. no more song guys lol

most of them are either very smart and prideful and all of that, or theyre sillay. very funny fellas, love having fun, but still smart as hell !

after her overblot he like. split three or five more in a week 😭😭 it sucked ass and he had an awful headache for days. + he was only made aware of her system After the overblot, during the recuperation week, bc the other alters went to check on her, and it was. Something. she told cater & trey right away and they helped her navigate it all, then she told adeuce duo too and some other few close friends!

i hc that her inner world is a big ass red white pink and black castke, in the middle of a very dense florest, with a maze and all. the fauna & flora are kinda diverse and all ! very pretty :]]

also i am. a big fan of florid..... and i think theyd start dating someday. and when they do. they turn into partner systems (if u dont know what it is lmk) and lots of other alters from their systems start dating too lol. they take turns to stay w their s/o.... theyre all so annoying and cute

(i have some names for their systems too.... rosewell for riddle's and vortice for floyd's... yay)

and PLLSS tell me abt kalim osdd . if u want. i love him so much hes my special gal !!! im interested in the HC :D it makes sense. in mah head

anyways hope the rambling entertained you!!! the voices in my head told me my HCs and to me these voices are right. theyre very real

⚠️ mention of kidnapping

OKGGMGMNE i love this. all of my alters hate me #cantrelate floyd. i will be n ur dms soon...

for cater i have an entire google slide of alters that's unfinished but ill send that to you later :3

i don't really have much to add.. very cute very real.. 5 stars would dine again..

UHH ALSO KALIM OSDD3 i think when shes distressed she disassociates for a few hours and after jamils OB she was out for a week; her brains response to the kidnappings and other traumatic shit she was put thru. i don't hc her to have alters tho! one of my RAMCOA friends hcs her to have HC-DID tho!

i also think the human brain is super interesting.. i was wondering how traumatic events would effect merpeople/beastmen differently so it's interesting to see someone hc floyd as someone affected by his upbringing. i think there's a thin line of difference between what's considered normal/traumatic for humans and non humans (for example, jade being implied to eat his and floyds siblings is considered normal, but would the violence down there be?)

okay thank u for the timeline correction! think i just misconstrued a post i saw in the southern reach tag

thinking of still shooting mr vandermeer an email telling him like what we plan on doing with his works and maybe asking for a blessing idk but seems polite to let him know beforehand and itd be so cool if he was like supportive or even interested in it !!

following in the footsteps of many book adapters before me ... "no i havent read it but by god i Will be the one to make a movie out of it" hahskdj no but !! i have high hopes that i'll enjoy it! bcos a) nature that is a little fucked up as a treat is so up my alley and then autistic coded biologist <3 b) ive heard nothing but good (read: amazing) things from ppl who have read it and are also autistic and a little obsessed w weird nature

and even if i dont like books (inconceivable) its still a rlly cool concept to try and make into like a visual media format! and idk i have the equipment & time & motivation and the fan base (including myself) would like a better adaptation so !! making the art i wanna see in the world and all that

with the casting i'm hm worried isnt the word but like i wouldnt be able to pay the actors and like this obviously wouldnt be as intense and time consuming as shooting an actual movie/tv series but i'd be asking ppl to basically volunteer in a time when a lot of ppl cant rlly afford that? and thinking of going to florida to shoot it since i currently live up in the mountains and the environment looks nothing like it would in the books and personally i think the swamp ambience is important! i would like it to be there! so... sigh considered maybe starting a patreon for this but like hm hm hm i Want this to be like a low budget passion project yk i want ppl to see what we could do with so little and be inspired to make their own things w minimal equipment!! i Know its not bad to ask for yk what would be completely optional support but not every kid with a camera can start a patreon or, if its an original idea project, ask for the support of an Already There community so idk kinda stuck on that one...

- 🪢

you could definitely start a patreon to try and get funds for it!!! im not entirely sure how many people would pledge to it, since the TSR fandom is quite small, but it couldnt hurt

asking mr vandermeer for a blessing is actually a great idea!! not necessary but very kind to do so :-3 i've talked with him very briefly once before (he gave me a signed copy of area x for my birthday) and hes suuuper nice so i bet he would love to hear about it! he might even have his own ideas for how to adapt it that never made it into the movie

i cant wait for u to read the book proper im sure itll blow your socks off, just based on how excited you are already and how much fun autisms and naturey stuff is in it hehehe

I know you write bl but please do not defend Emma. She is known in our fandom as a transphobic asshole. She has been openly transphobic to harries and larries because they think Harry MIGHT be trans. She is also homophobic with how she as a cis het white woman thinks she has more say in how a gay fandom needs to operate. There are years worth of receipts of this. She harassed my friend because they tagged Harry as a princess on their own blog and tried to call them homophobic for doing so. Im mutuals with authors who had to drop out of the bl fest for personal reasons, and then Emma and her friends started harassing them for joining a non bl fest months later. You should see how former blouie authors are treated by her after they dont write exclusively bl fics anymore. The reason BLP is not well liked in fandom is because of her. There is literally a top Harry fic fest run by an actual trans person and much more supported by larries. Louis bottoming isn't the issue. For years blouies have made that their only personality and harassed and sent so many larries death threats (me included) because we blog on our own blogs about Harry wanting to be pregnant or singing about sucking dick or anything that doesn't make him "a top". Blouies have ruined themselves for their entire fandom and that anon is a perfect example of how they are.

Whew anon.

Okay, thank you for the ask and the respectful tone, I will try to maintain a respectful tone right back.

I don't exclusively write bl, I like to think I write fics where Louis gets taken care of one way or another. By bottoming, by subbing, by being cuddled; rn I have 2 smut fics, both of them sub Louis, one of them is them being vers (i.e. penetrating each other), the other *can* be considered bl, I did tag it as such, but the only penetration that happens is two lines of cockwarming. My current unpublished fics and ideas are:

The a/b/o fic fest that is Omega Louis/bl but has references to bh;

Exploring the idea of topping from the bottom: i have a petplay sub Harry fic that's half-written, currently plotting a vaguely Dom transrry fic. First one will be Dom!bl, second one Dom!bh. Might have a third one, but I still haven't decided;

The blff, I mean that's the name of;

The 1d fantasy fic fest that will be both vers and switch but it's darkfic so I don't think that's a great example to have here tbh lmao.

Okay, that said.

I did have run-ins with Emma back in the day; idk if you were there in 2015/16, but I have a whole tag where I actively fought people on Harry's possible gender identity, together with Angela and Jay (godspeed to both of them, they're much happier now believe me). It's been 8 years, I don't know what Emma is doing right now, besides managing the blff, and I don't know how she changed in eight years; eight years ago I was a staunch anarchist, and look at me now. You can come off anon and send me anything you might see fit, that would actually be great, and it would give me something to operate on. And on that point, I don't--think? That telling someone "hey yo instead of sending anon hate go and support the people who write/rec the fics you wanna read" is defending anyone? But it's understandable that if she's currently harassing people, that's a knee-jerk reaction.

Then to address your points about Louis bottoming... Again, I'm not sure, like. Feels a bit like you're barking at the wrong tree? One of my favourite smut authors is devilinmybrain (oh my god that 5+1 gross-hot fic nnnn) and I read, and to some extent write, quite happily everything as long as it's good. Like, both of them canonically have a prostate. It's a shame if they never use it. And Harry being feminine has nothing to do with Harry bottoming (or topping ;) of course), but this is something that needs its own post to be expanded.

With that long-ass rant in that post I wanted to make another point, and that point was directed to some of the reblogs, and that point was: stop wokeifying the gay community, because you--general you--will have a stroke if you ever go to a gay bar one day.

I won't reiterate the stuff I said there, but that should have been the main takeaway, not that I prefer writing bl or bh. I don't consider myself a blouie, by virtue of the fact that not only I read and write whatever, but also because I genuinely don't agree with a lot of the, like, ideological stances. On smut. I could talk about what hardcore bl/sh do and say probably all day, and Raf/Niv know what I'm talking about because they're usually the ones I fill with audios, but this post is already really long.

i wanna say i hate to compare BG3 and DAI buuuuut you know they have similar intentions not including the combat system. theyre both high fantasy RPGs that focus on major story choices/consequences and making a protag that you can shape based on personality options, along with class/race specific effects on the way characters mold with you.

so. i think they can be compared, without any note of the technical advancements from since DAI came out of course.

and i say this just based on my current progress (i guess the first 'part'? i just got to the end of the druid grove stuff). i think the bg3 protag is fine! no issue there really, its different but i like what i can do. but i can feel the issues with romance in this game creeping up, as i had heard some things started before by others... that theres a very quick focus to romance. and honestly.... is it romance even at this starting point? immediately i am just asked about who i want to fuck. i like to fuck, i like the sexual relationships. but i can see where ppl may have their issues here.

on this first celebration with the party members, the woman who i helped do the raid with, who i literally dont know, before i even got to the party was like- i am talking to you in your mind and i want to fuck you in thanks for this. and she is the one character you can just fuck without any relation with. and then i talk to Astarion who is like, who do you want to fuck tonight lol? and even if i hadnt talked w him, every other character there except Gale had the option to suggest i wanted to fuck them. bro i hardly even know these guys still. i want to fuck astarion eventually and im glad he turned me down bc honestly why would he accept?. but shadowheart and laezel were totally up for it!!! and man i hard travelled with laezel bc i dont like her lol.

and listen i am sure i will get to learn way more abt these characters that i romance but the fact i am opened up to the sex option immediately is just. so strange when i compare it to the romances of DAI. i think i could take a few characters who just want sex. thats normal. not everyone wants commitment and i would actually like that nuance. but also, really putting the sex on so quick and so blatantly is a surprise to me even as someone who wants to have sex stuff all the time!! but i like good writing too! and i imagine its even more uncomfy for others who really didnt expect or want that. to just assume you character wants to have sex so fast is weird and the only other option denying everything (no implication you want just romance/are interest but dont want sex) is just wild to me too.

DAI has such well written romances. really. i saw ppl saying they were excited this game would blow bioware's romance writing out of the water but i dont think i can say that at all rn and im not sure this current impression will change enough for me to say otherwise entirely....

this also goes into why "everyone is bi" isnt always good. because i think it takes a lot of potentially personal weight out of the writing. not even in that if one character is gay then there will be oppression angst between them and you for being gay. or that the straight one will voice their straightness in context of gays existing in world. its about how "everyone is bi" isnt actually good, chosen bi rep. its just a game mechanic thrown in to satisfy all ends. we can have bi characters, we just cant have them all being labelled that in order to fill that check mark.

dorian is a really good example in DAI of how a character being strictly gay and also facing in world oppression makes his romance storyline SO good. its so important for sexuality labels to exist bc it makes you an individual of your own. and for it to be EXPRESSED in some form too. a character should be able to voice their thoughst on their unique sexuality when you romance them. but the 'everyone is bi just because' means like no character is every talking about that, let alone in a meaningful way when the reason applies to every other companion.

sorry did not mean for this to become a rant on romances. im still looking forward to the writing that will unfold with these characters but i think its so important to not get lost in the hype (and the hate to DAI? which i think is just hate to bioware really) bc people ALWAYS get to ahead of themself when they hear "you can romance anyone regardless of gender" without thinking twice about whether or not that makes it good writing or rep