#and if he lose i will be sad lol
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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danse macabre
#ultrakill#gabriel#v1#gabv1el#doodle tag#rise and fall au#fallen gabriel#love thinking about gabriel losing his mind for a minute after becoming a full fallen angel#where he just really indulges in his anger and pent up violence all for himself#he rebels against everything he ever was and how stifled he has been his entire achingly long existence#no more rules. no more grace. he's goring demons and tearing machines apart limb from limb#needless to say. v1 is NO moderating force lol#it loves running around like this with him far more reckless than it could afford to be before#and finding a love that engages in its cruelty with it to its full extent makes it just as bad#he does eventually come back to himself as this just isn't him#but i love them having a full villain era where they become actively avoided#(but hell won't let their prey get away...sad!)
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smth i think ppl get wrong when writing jon is that he has to be a bitch but he cant be cruel. if you take away his bitchyness its not jon anymore, he just becomes a fanon husk of himself. but if you make him too mean, then you're forgetting the awkward politeness and humanity of jonathan sims. remember: he may be a stubborn dickhead, but he let martin stay in the archives without having to be asked, even back in season 1
#i love jon so so much and it makes me sad when ppl get him wrong#i dont think in another universe jon and martin would get along bc thats not the kind of ppl they are. they're meant to piss each other off#(and attract the other but yknow. besides the point lol)#jon is an uptight bitch and thats just who he is. sure in the later seasons he loses the stick up his ass but hes still petty and rude#bc thats what makes him jonathan sims. the ability to be a bitch who cares.......#and i think it goes the other way too. taking away his ability to care about others and show it in his weird obscure way is also inaccurate#jon doesnt say mean things bc he doesnt care he says them bc he lashes out in the situations hes put in. and also bc hes a bitch#idk man you can do whatever you want but i think the main thing you have to do to get jon right is make him a stubborn bitch#tma
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Sorry if you've gone over this before but I was curious as to what you'd think it would take for Leo to finally break in front of his brothers?
We’ve actually seen Leo break his persona multiple times throughout the series! And pretty much each and every time has a common theme present: his family being in danger.
#non au ask#probably the biggest break he has is immediately after Raph protects him from the Krang and forces him to leave Raph behind#not once in the series has Leo shown a greater horror than the moment he’s out of the pod knowing Raph was left behind#and he makes that break KNOWN#he shovels it down again soon enough but yeah#also noteworthy is his reaction to losing Gram Gram#and(less of a sad break but a still a break of his lackadaisical persona) when he IMMEDIATELY gets serious when Raph’s missing in the sewer#actually I think of Leo being serious about Raph missing in the sewers a lot#luckily (or not lol) for his mask these breaks happen mostly when everyone else is ALSO freaking out#so more focus is put on to the entire situation than simply Leo’s reaction to it#but yeah Leo loves his family SO MUCH so of course they’re consistently his breaking point#tbh tho all of them share that breaking point#cannot BELIEVE I didn’t mention it but his ‘I’m nothing without them’ speech ALSO HAPPENS WHEN HE THINKS HIS BROS ARE IN DANGER#it’s all fun and games until plot armor loses its durability!
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JOEL GOT A WITHER ROSE!!! THE FLORIST HAS A WITHER ROSE!!!
I can’t type any cohesive thoughts sowwy
But can we talk about how obvious it is when something is on Joel’s mind, first it was rapunzel/tangled and now in ep6 of secret life his answer for the bonding question was gardening and his idea for a Cool Name was the florist. Like okay I wonder what you’re thinking about today.
#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#slsmp#trafficblr#smallishbeans#sorry to the person who wanted to see my thoughts I deleted that would be my own post not only can I not seem to articulate my thoughts but#I also seem to have kind of forgor 💀 what it was#I know I did think about how Jimmy got Martyn in on the florist thing and only Martyn survived lol#and also when Martyn ran in when the wither was almost dead Joel yelled at him to leave cuz they couldn’t lose any more people#which is sweet and sad I mean the two weren’t even close. and Martyn was stressing thinking they were trying to kill reds#but the first thing he gets told when he bravely approaches is to get to safety <3#maybe I’ll make that into its own post. about Martyn. with a sprinkle of how I think Joel is one of the nicest on the server surprisingly
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Loser boyfriends
#i am very sad that adam lost to some fucking bird#but he is no longer allowed to bully ronan for losing so lol#the raven cycle#trc#the dreamer trilogy#adam parrish#ronan lynch#pynch#tdt
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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.
Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.
He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.
They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.
Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.
Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.
Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.
It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.
It's an ear.
It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-
Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.
"Hey!"
Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.
"Kaveh, hey!"
The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.
His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.
Quicksand.
Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.
His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-
Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.
"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.
Kaveh is sinking.
Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.
Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.
"Do you believe in karma?"
The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-
Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.
Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.
He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.
He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.
He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.
He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.
Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.
Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."
Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.
"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.
"Do you believe in karma?"
#genshin impact#haikaveh#al haitham#kaveh#kavehtham#these two have had me chewing concrete lately god#3.6 got me frothing at the mouth#something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart#and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol#and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov#Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help#and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality#and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves#kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this#or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal#i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this#written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song#'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough#my fics#gore#body horror#I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case
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.
#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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I found this to be such a random comment until I realised it was Balgeum saying it and it suddenly felt so heavy
#his money trauma runs so deep he cant see how his behaviour hurts inho much more than any money issues could#or maybe he does and its just that bad that he cant physically stop himself#when he told inho to go back i was like my man he cant keep coming back until you have enough money to feel secure#if you dont deal with this now that insecurity is gonna run for the rest of your life and even if you do have money youll always worry abou#losing them and not be able to enjoy the comfort that comes with them#and youre always going to base your feeling of self worth on them#and your happiness and everything valuable in your life would be so easy to destroy#itd crumble#i want him to see the truth so bad it hurts me watching him go through it#im happy he was at least honest with inho#thats a step#hes gonna have to take a lot of small ones too#all of these hurt boys ugh#its such a pretty show and the comedy is fun and the acting is top notch that it makes me ignore how much sadness there actually is in ever#episode#and i recommend it as a light watch because they mix the sweet and the sour so well#but i feel for all of these characters#including hyejin lol#boys be brave
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#star!keri#vent art#💕♬♪ ♡☆ I just want to be your lovin' teddy bear 🌟🧸♬♪☆#im ok i just have a migraine and im overwhelmed and sad and i got triggered and augh#i miss the color pink.#this whole pic was gonna be all different shades of pink but then i couldnt do it#had to change the colors#i tried watching lars and the real girl by myself and yknow theres the whole pink room thing#im trying to associate it with barbie but god it just . feels fresh. had to turn it off#seeing my abuser twice in a short timeframe is kind of fucking me up :) hello. why do u exist and why do i have to see it.#but hey i did use SOME pink in here?? baby steps??? i feel stupid but whatever#you know pink used to be one of my favorite colors#i will get it back even if its gonna be an ugly fight the entire time#cant get into the ring and complain about getting hit. or however ryan phrases it#idk if that applies to reclaiming triggers but rahhhhh#if steven can be fine with papyrus after 15 fuckin years i can be fine with pink someday too#lars wouldnt think im stupid. i mean i'd hope not???? maybe he would. its stupid#its a really stupid trigger lol who gets scared of the color pink. me apparently#i get the fight or flight response when seeing a color or clothing or hearing phrases#i dont feel like i can function like a normal person even after a whole year#i feel like i am barely surviving and my entire life was taken away from me#and i cant do anything about it but just sit here with my heart ripped out of my chest#while my abuser is . fine. and has friends and family and support and alllll of my TF F/Os#and absolutely zero consequences for what she maliciously had done to me. okie dokie!!!!!#i feel like the last 19 months havent passed. i feel like i am not in my body sometimes#like i am a husk and someone else is controlling me but im actually dead or something#i dont feel like time is passing. idk how to explain it. i feel like my life is stolen#i feel like i am losing years of my life to trauma. like the ghost of me is left behind while the world is moving forward#everyone is present and moving but i am like... barely functioning thru flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks#and i dont know when im ever going to fully escape the person who did this to me
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I wasn’t using that heart anyway it’s fine (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Catch me crying in the Institute I'm Fine I Feel Fine#So far in reading I have cried twice - once for sads and once for happies#This one being the sads of course haha#The happies...doesn't really make sense in Or out of context but mmh maybe I'll get to it at some point lol#For now the devastation! Weh!!#I actually prefer the original phrasing better - ''If I become lost you will find me'' like gods hang on hold on gimme me a moment ❤️💕💖#I just forgot to look at it properly before writing it down lol#I transcribed it correctly in my notes! Heck#I would've been moved by this regardless but with Defeated hanging out in the back of my head for what's to come#He /does/ become lost! And it's from losing the Captain! His anchor his bright spot in this and any other galaxy 💔#All he has left is Dexter! Who won't ''indulge'' him or try to understand him and never /can/ in the way the Captain does#The foreshadowing!! The pain!! Ah ♥#Not to mention Zelnick's hesitance but still willingness to help I jfdkslafdf#Extremely good <3 <3
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Is “So High School” the first time she’s written about someone getting her off that doesn’t involve a caveat? 😏
(I mean beyond “tell your friends to get their own house”)
#I’m kidding#but not lol#it’s not like ‘I love when you go down on me but we’re sad!’#or ‘I want you to ravage me but we have to do it in secret because reasons!’#or ‘we can have sex all day but that’s because the world hates me and I don’t want to leave my house’#or ‘I already know this isn’t going to work but he’s hot so yolo’#etc#this one is like ‘the only problem is I DO NOT WANT TO BE QUIET SO#LOSE THE ROOMIES’
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hmmm getting hit by another little "being heartbroken about tp ganondorf" moment :)
#ganondorf#tp#twilight princess#thoughts#he's just........... like...........#and him and fucking ZANT together what a toxic shitshow you guys#extremely repressed psychosis + terminal stage of burnout sure is the combo of all times#both fueled by revenge resentment bitterness and hatred in their own special way <3#I'd eat fanfic that dissect these two being codependant and horrible and untreated open wounds prancing around in hyrule#making it everyone else's problem :)#ganondorf being the most callous god-complexed heartless bitch that will destroy everyone and then himself if you breathe at him wrong#because if he stops to move and reflect on everything he will literally implode probably#and zant really really reaaaaally having it under control and never ever once threatening to fucking lose it terminally <3#holding on to the.... “god” he found for his sense of worth and power and stability (mega lol your man is in shambles zant sorry) going lik#“can we keep the weird angry god from the light world I picked up from the sidewalk midna? no?? okay :D *coups the twilight realm* ”#I used to not get this relationship conceptually or why people shipped it. I get it now.#awful awful time for everybody involved 10/10#not even getting into the Mega Divorce because wow#but seriously it's genuinely sad that two men who were *severely* wronged by fate and gods ended up being each other's undoing#because they were too.... toxic and fucked up to be anything but toxic and fucked up about it#queer infighting :(#girls hurting girls :(#SORRY about the novel in the tags I am unbearably like this everytime :((((
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i care very much about stage mtc lol:
alan-san is very pretty lol like i wish i could say he’s the prettiest samatoki but that’s also a judgement based on the assumption that samatoki has given us anything under an 11 LOL
but he’s still a gorgeous samatoki lol
asanuma-san is a god tier seiyuu so anyone having to embody samatoki i doubt can capture what asanuma-san does with samatoki’s voice but alan-san’s take isn’t bad i don’t think!!!!!
like when he raps aggressively, it’s really cool lol
stage samatoki is like, the most emotional sad boy samatoki we’ve gotten and alan-san’s face sure does give it just that man just looks so sad sometimes lol
this is less to do with his samatoki and more of himself lol, but during a separate event unaffiliated with hypstage but featured a handful of them, he challenged akira-san to a video game on the basis that because both their names start with the letter 🅰️, they gotta throw down because there can only be one Ace in town and that was so funny he’s a goober lmao
asanuma-san made a very similar joke the year prior to that event and that’s how i know he shared the samatoki braincell LOL
throwback to the samatoki cross talk where he and asanuma-san had to guess what’s samatoki’s default pose on the official website. asanuma-san got it right but alan-san didn’t and upon getting it wrong, he attempted to run out from the venue LOL
mi…………….. mizue kenta sir 🥺🥺🥺
he’s slain many a human with that face of his and i’m not strong enough to fight it either lmao
juto used to have a modicum of coolness in the beginning and has been nerfed significantly over the years lmao but mizue-san’s juto is an old relic from those times lol
like it’s so funny to me both komada-san and mizue-san used to voice juto on a higher register but eventually deepened his voice as their perception of the character changed lol
mizue-san is legendary at video games and i’m not saying juto’s gamer status came from him but—
speaking of arb lol y’all know that one horn-knee bait juto card with the handcuffs????? mizue-san’s juto said hold my beer and showed the true hornee juto bait lol
like what do you mean he gets TWO solos where he tramples on and seduces men?????????????
there’s a scene at the end of track 4 where once that conflict had been resolved, juto quietly walked up beside samatoki, who was brooding to himself, and expressed an ice cold rage towards samatoki for leaving his team behind in that conflict that has stayed with me lol it’s probably the mtc moment i think about most
besides the rep live skit where samatoki gets falsely arrested but wants to stay arrested because rio wants to feed him so juto’s running back and forth confusedly trying to extend samatoki’s sentence LOL
RIO MY MAN IS SUCH A CHARACTER IN THE STAGE LOL
canon rio’s stoicism is surface level actually like stage rio is more along the lines of stern with a very heavy side helping of silly and i like to that it’s the version of rio canon rio thinks he is lol
that doesn’t mean stage rio isn’t cool tho like his rap game is no joke 😭👌
that part in bop2023 where they do a solos relay and as rio’s solo transitions to juto’s he goes, ‘juto, rock that shit’ and i lose my shit tbh LOL especially when you see that pleased smile on juto’s face pls!!!!!
byrnes-san is the brand of wasian that’s good at english and i enjoyed reading reports of rio’s english lessons during mtc’s rep live
and then to come back later in bop2023 hyping the crowd up with english their japanese audience didn’t understand so he scolded them for not studying it came full circle i want to cry—
#this is vee speaking#i am not gon lie tho i am so so so excited for the new samatoki actor#like whoever thought it was a great idea to cast a 35 year old man to play samatoki is CORRECT HE LOOKS INTENSE ASF#if he had been part of the og mtc set his face card alone would have had me mourning HIM AND MIZUE KENTA ON THE SAME STAGE?????#samajuto scenes would have ended me lmao#the new juto is very pretty it’s just crazy to me to have a baby faced juto next to a more rugged samatoki lol#rio losing that wasian look between actors makes me very sad but it’s fine lol i do appreciate being unable to tell what he’s mixed with#american shouldn’t have to default to white so yeah let’s go new rio!!!!!!#i think these ramble posts are working lol it feels a little easier to be neutral and to give it some time!!!!!#i think these ramble posts are working lol it feels easier to be subjective!!!!! which is good being angry at hypmic is exhausting lol
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I know we don't talk and there's stuff we may not agree with. But I am truly sorry you've dealt with a lot of drama over fictional crap. And I'm sorry if my posts in the past ever contributed to that. Hope you have a better day.
Hey... That's all fine, don't worry! After all, it takes a lot of time and Insight to realise that Gehrman is a very gentle and respectful man and Godrick is an absolute gigachad kdkdkshdffhhgfds /lh /lh
But yeah, on a serious note. It was quite frustrating to find out the real motivation under all that... mess was something so pathetic, but at the same time this is what happens when people make engagement with media and fandoms a moral, political act. Not necessarily a problem, after all, I was the one who concluded that the way a fan judges fictional characters and other fans will very well reveal how cruel they are to real people who do something bad, or how much they will forgive based on personal sympathies. And my mad ravings about caring about female characters! I think the problem comes when a fan is so insecure that they have nothing else besides this defence of ideals through fandomry. If your only way to assert yourself is to be a good guy punishing the bad guys, and that mad raving loredigger discovers there is NO bad guy, what is left of you?
This is why it is crucial to have passion for nurturing rather than for undermining! I think if you speak like this, you've found this truth too? This is true that I don't know you very much (mutual-in-law thing), but to be honest.. you didn't poison my fandom experience at all? I tend to never be aware about discourse until someone basically calls me for help fhdhgsdgdfs Can't scout the fandom tag regularly!
But not only it actually was a quite long ago I saw a "negative" post from you, but also I've seen through the posts that my friends liked or reblogged from you that you've actually became very eager person to defend people's passion and interests! I think the post that particularly got stuck with me was when you resented seeing someone's light die after some Redditor asshole "well aktualy"'d a thing they were excited about creating (not exact wording but maybe you remember too)? Like... you are fine, man. At that point I realised that you were a good fan and in the end valued people's creativity and passion over personal preferences. That you never wanted to be THAT guy, even if your interpretation could not be further from someone else's. Coming to terms with what actually matters in fandomry is very mature and I am happy to see this attitude!
I am still glad that you messaged me about this though; I did not expect this, but thank you! I think I will continue getting involved in fictional discourse because my autistic senses cannot ignore factually incorrect takes with a clear insidious motive, and.. eh, sooner or later, I'll piss off the wrong guy again. Don't feel bad for me when it inevitably happens :p I've accepted the shortcomings when I decided to be the debate guy. Simply laughing at some gremlin starting a discourse with the girls in DMs and not stressing over it is only funny until I realise that newer fans could get misinformed right off the bat.
#ask replies#fandomry rambles#sorry this is probably a bit too long and emotional#this topic just makes me remember a lot of stuff.. it is not you! like I mean it my impression has been positive for a while now#I could already sense that you've changed your stance on things before this message and I respect this a lot!#I am just thinking about..... stuff#how there was an actually strongly furious gehrman hater who finally matured and became chill after two years of terrorizing fandom#and I even wrote them a DM saying how much I respected the change.. only to lose them forever a couple of weeks later because of timing LOL#or story of the guy that got driven away from the fandom with fake accusations and slander because he criticised maria when her toxic fans-#-back then were not pretending to 'recognise her flaws too'#or people talking to me how they stopped feeling safe posting in fandom over that crap#like... you did not really hurt me. I knew you had strong opinions but I've noticed more and more based posts on the fandomry topic#there are just many things that make whole fandom situation sad. I am happy to be the part of what helped BB fandom a bit#but I've heard some shit going on in ER fandom and like... yeah I am bound to get into trouble again because I can't sit back and meme#just don't feel bad for me when I end up with another arch enemy because of my autism about lore fhshdffsd
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read chapter 1 of the jjk light novel where megumi and yuji tail gojo and end up at a maid cafe and megumi is so dramatic. he got dragged into the cafe (along with yuji) and wanted to leave so bad he felt like he was about to bring about a new curse the longer he sat there while they took a picture with him
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#this was cute#gojo ended up making them exercise curses on their day off and gumi was like 'FINALLY I CAN DO SOMETHING COOL'#also funny bc they kept losing gojo but gojo is described as a tall weirdo so they kept finding him with little difficulty#'gojo built like he should play basketball' 'i don't see him playing' 'me neither!'#it's also funny bc the boyos were embarrassed they had to wear angel costumes in the cafe#and they described gojo wearing it like he was wearing a suit or smth lol#sad nobara was kinda left out since she was shopping and only came at the end when gojo found her and dragged her along#jjk light novel
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