#and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baezdylan · 2 years

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Some of your tags on your Mr. Darcy post got me thinking (by way of my associating Mr. Darcy with Jess Mariano) that there are some commonalities between Jane Austen and Amy Sherman-Palladino in the way they write very layered, complex characters (who can't always be neatly sorted into "right" and "wrong" in their behavior) and seem to show a keen observation of human behavior that comes through in a certain wry, satirical humor... But I'd say that Austen's view of humanity is inherently optimistic (people can change for the better and learn from their mistakes) while Sherman-Palladino's view is inherently pessimistic (people often don't change for the better, and can remain stuck in harmful patterns). But ANYWAY, that philosophical tangent aside... I agree that with characters like Darcy and Jess, they're more complicated than just "this poor, misunderstood guy doesn't know how to talk to people." Because while that IS a big part of it, both of them really can also be genuinely rude, because (at the beginning of their development) both of them think themselves in some way "superior" to they company in which they find themselves. Darcy because of his refined upbringing and "good taste", and Jess because of his intelligence and "good taste." In addition to being introverted and not knowing how to relate to people, they also don't even really WANT to relate to them. And I think if we're honest with ourselves, a lot of us have experienced that. I think Jess especially exemplifies the experience of kids who have been rejected and deal with it by thinking, "Well, I wouldn't want to hang out with you anyway!" C.S. Lewis, in "Surprised By Joy," describes being a lonely, nerdy kid who grew to pride himself on being "better" than the jocks who bullied him (even starting an epic poem where clever Loki triumphs over the "brutish" Thor). It's an understandable human response, but snobbery and pride and hate are still morally cancerous (I still remember the moment I realized I had become what I hated, as a teenager). You can be both unfairly maligned AND still be a jerk who needs to learn how to value other people, and I love that Darcy and Jess not only portray that experience but are given the chance to learn from it.

Okay so there's a significant lot to unpack here and this might get *drum roll* ✨personal✨... but who cares, we're all tumblr given creatures, right? First off, I have to point out that "I wouldn't want to hang out with you anyway" isn't really the vibe I get from Darcy (but maybe I am projecting here) but is the exact vibe I get from Jess (*COUGHS* 💫THE CAULFIELD SYNDROME💫🤩??? No? Ok.) I for one just genuinely prefer solitude and it's not some deeply rooted psychological issue caused by a childhood trauma that made me feel that way, I just never really felt the need to socialize with anyone outside of my family when I was a kid? My arrogance problem is a lot better now and I did manage to meet people who I find bearable at least and I think that's Darcy? He has Bingley (and later Lizzie), that's all he needs! He feels comfortable enough to insult Bingley because he knows he won't abandon him and no, I don't get it, I don't get Bingley at. all. but I love him so much no matter his (nonexistent) logic (HOUSE x WILSON! HOLMES x WATSON!). They're like that strange duo that shouldn't work but does (and I'm a sucker for narrative foils thing... that >>>>>>> anything else ever I can talk about this forever but that's another post, here's my Hilson analysis anyways, I feel like it covers a lot of my psychological conditions, it's a nice little insane tag read that can be taken out of fandom context and applied to a different fandom context🎶✨). So yeah, I don't really think Darcy falls under that category of "I hate you because I want to be you." You did say Jess especially exemplifies this and YEAH I agree I just love pointing out differences between him and Darcy because they aren't that apparent at first, it's all about the little things, the smallest puzzle pieces that make one different from the other. Like... Jess is more of a Salinger character that way, he has strong opinions and he wouldn't change them for anybody else but deep down, he craves acceptance and validation from the outside. While Darcy doesn't care much about the outside factor in a textbook case, he does care a lot about the opinion those he likes have of him, more than he'd like to actually, which is where a lot of his distress comes from. And I feel like he gravitates towards people who are different from him just enough (for him, it's more about deeper understanding someone could potentially have of him and he of them, though he doesn't necessarily long for it before he encounters it) and clings to those differences and admires them (for reasons unknown to him) while Jess looks for the ways in which he overlaps with somebody else. But I think they both value deeper understanding and intellectual connections the most when it comes to relationships, though they're both kinda freaked out by those things at the same time. About rudeness vs social skills, I think I've said what I needed to say (at this moment in time at least) here, might add to it later.

Now, for ASP and Austen parallels. I absolutely adore this and yes, you're entirely correct! I just think they both put a lot of effort into making their characters human beings, it doesn't matter if they're unlikeable. And while their reasoning can be tracked down to some of their earlier behaviour or thoughts, it isn't exactly about understanding these fictional people as it is about relating to them and creating a specific, but universal human experience that can mean something outside of the written work, its initial sphere or whatever. I don't exactly know which side I'm on when it comes to the "people change or do they?" debate, but you're soooo right about the optimistic/pessimistic approach Austen and Palladino seem to take while sharing stories and both of those approaches have helped me with some of my own stuff and that's worth something, right?

Thanks for sending this, it was such a fun read and I will be thinking about this ask a lot.🌟✨ Somebody who has more knowledge of Loki should write a Jess x Loki parallels post (if there isn't one already?), my Marvel knowledge is mostly Spiderman related and I'm not much of a MCU fan, but I do love the characters! I just think that MCU sucks. (also I get that Lewis wasn't writing about MCU that's more than obvious, this is just a follow up thought, my answer makes it seem like Lewis got his timelines mixed up hdjsfjisidkskdkskd, adding this now cause I didn't notice the slip up at first!)

#fitzwilliam darcy #jess mariano #pride and prejudice #gilmore girls #jane austen #amy sherman palladino #meta #thoughts #analysis #god i just love talking to you so. much.#i'm an intj i thrive off of mind work #and i get that the lewis bit is not about mcu but there ARE loki x jess parallels that lean into this kind of analysis i think?#forget to clarify that fhsjfjskfiskdi #i'm not that familiar with the og loki and thor figures so i can't comment on that but maybe there's also something there?#@anyone who does know #i only know the basics of both of these things so it would be nice if anyone could add!

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saintwilllem · 3 years

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from my first reading of the chapter , the sand glass world as always been about time and memories and on so the effects of that. take the title and you’ll see that a sand glass is another word for a hour glass and such measures time, but the issue with this device is that you can feel as though your looping time in that you take the same thing and just keep flipping it over for more time. the sand has no markers that makes any different then anything before or after it unlike a clock on which you see active measures of time . therefore if we place our main character into the sandglass we are now playing with his state of mind ( measured by memories and time ) because he cannot escape . the first panel we see is the main character amongst discarded mannequins and barren trees. its a loss of life but coming off him is a balloon of a star , and he wears a party hat. to me the star is his north star / guiding star, the party hat is a reminder of him going wild and stating a lack of self care.

it is after this we meet the masked woman for the first time. having the woman masked makes her seem like wraith , an unknown but also something that should be known known. when she takes the main character into her arms, he seems at ease until she drops her blood in to his eyes and throws him back to his supposed really world because what the blood acts to be is a association to something that he has witnessed but turned a blind eye to until it is forced back into his sight.

now he wakes up in this “ real world “ and looks around dazed and things look normal but we find out soon enough that they aren’t as he has been taking drugs with introduction of the third character who i am naming lucidity , this mean clearness and inside of the context of the story the drive to do better. and so this character and the main character are inverses or opposites of each other and you cannot live with one or the other. if you keep going to the dream like state you will die , if you stay to lucid and never enjoy anything then you will also die. i am going to argue that even without the mention of drugs the partying that the main character is doing is more so running away instead of dealing and healing and their first conversation cements this idea and it goes like this :

the main character asks life how did you find me here ? , he replies “ there is no were you can hide or run from me , “ it then goes to life saying something amongst the lines of “ did you leave the house because didn't want to clean you crazy fool ?" to which the main character replies “ if it freaks you out so much why don’t you just die . “

now let’s break this down this conversation. you will always come back to lucidity after being drugged and therefore you cannot run away from it. the house and cleaning it up are more so cleaning yourself up because if we take a look at this whole chapter there is a trauma and instead of dealing with the trauma and cleaning the effects of it the main character keeps running away, and in response he is telling his lucidity that if how he is behaving is making him feel so uncomfortable then he should just end their life because that would put. pause to the guilt and regret lucidity faces for the main character not being able to deal and going on to drugs.

the roommate / lucidity then smacks the main character across the face. what this symbolized is both self-loathing but also the push to wake up depending how you see the relationship between them, which to me is never one thing because this is a whole drive to get to the bottom of the trauma and the memories the main character is trying to hide. the comment after the smacking in which he tells the main character i told you not to do drugs your eyes are deteriorating harkens back to the blood that he dreamt was dipped into them. this is a call that the main character ‘s eyes are what beheld the trauma and not some other part.

main character is told to crawl out like the animal he is ( a self- loathing reaction ) and that they should leave and as they do we are thrown into a desert and that is the sandglass sand. that plays into the idea that this time keeps looping and they keep having iterations of these actions because he still has not defined nor dealt with the masked woman. while the roommate is able to find water from some place as a form to draw something out of the main character. as water and desert don’t go together. they are contrasts and one lives outside of the other .

the idea of camels and the use of them is fun because camels carry their own water inside themselves for a good while, this is a joke on the fact that the main character has no self care and he is being scoffed at by the roommate. it is as thought he thought of buying the camels is like a lie because the camel will never get what it needs because it will be forced away from its self and reason . i think thats why we have the leap into the the main character not noticing the rain around them. rain to me in this context is a release . the phrase i think its going to rain to the reply it has been raining to be exemplifies either the main character is cracking and this is everything inside of him coming out , or the rain is something of judgment call. because at that moment his nose starts to bleed again and the masked woman returns . the bleeding of the nose is a contrast against the rain because rain means cleansing to some , here its opening everything of him up and taking payment out of blood because blood is everything that makes a person , while the rain is the emotional body of the characters the blood is the physical . and to say that it has been raining is also to say that he has been starting to feel and its flooding.

also the fact that the masked woman and therefore his trauma is the very thing that sheldis him from the rain is like a barrier between emotions and trauma , like masking the woman and taking the drugs did the same. he has to dive into the water and unmask her to really start to feel at peace because healing is allowing things to take their course rather then masking them. the throw of them into the water demands the main character to fall back and feel . the waltz is the push and pull he has to go through to make sense of everything he’s hidden from .

the woman goes on to ask him if he is sick of it because she is , and you know this is a memory of something that has happened because it something looking back at him but also a judgement of something he did not cater to . she asks him to remember how they made a bet when they were younger and how the one who loved the longest had to give the other a wish , and she says she thought she was losing ( that she was loving him for longer) but that isn’t the case anymore because she is gone and she’s been haunting him . where she thought he was moving on and leaving her before her death she took over him now by slitting her wrists and dying .

if we harken back to the earlier image with the drops going into his eyes we now know that is the image of her bloody and dying that sank into his eyes and haunts and follows him. and after that he reels back to being the car seated with his roommate wholly uneasy and he doesn’t want the roommate to look at him because he has been exposed. he has no wear to hide.

the ending panels therefore become a thing of history and trauma both overlapping over each other and how you want to forget the one by making it stuffed with everything that was around it. but it always floats back up when you lease expect it. a paraphrase of what is said near the end is the enthusiasm that i blindly pursed the endless joy the usual memories , they endlessly repeat ........... knowing that the ground underneath me was crumbling. is that he keeps linger on the more pleasent memories and feelings trying to survive on high instead of fixing the ground before it ruins him .

now i know this is long but hear me out on this second part tying this into the story by way of the summary of the story which is as follows : Seoha, an abandoned child, whose relatives gave up on him after he lost his family. An uncle who is unable to forget his wife and their unborn child. Their growth as the two of them wander through the snowy winter. therefore makes this the uncle’s story and sticks to the means of memories / trauma but firstly the main character is the uncle , the roommate the son he lost , and the woman his wife. he cant forget about them and so he starts to do things that allow him to hide in loops of memories that erase what his wife ended up doing we can argue if it was self abuse or a suicide but i lean more to the latter as the trauma and blame of that can be grater then the former. the question then becomes was he unfaithful because the wife says i thought i was losing and that i loved you longer than you loved me but it looks like i won at the end and she was free of her love of him , but he couldn’t be free of her in any way. now the unborn son is the roommate on pretense of the live he gave the roommate . the roommate is well rounded , he watches after his father but is also his judgment call. as though he comes as though something that couldn’t because of the father and so he is also his rage and that rage / son lashes back at him by hitting back at him for his life that was taken, by making him remember him and his mom as at one point the comic he is called a bastard by the main character / uncle / father.

the whole chapter takes place in a dreamscape in which you are forced to meet what you hide , deal with what is owed , and see things that were and how you feel. its such a simple but profound chapter and i cant wait to read more.

i am gonna end this here but please send me questions / comments / arguments everything and anything.

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textualdeviance · 4 years

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"The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey, to Poe."- Finn, TROS

John Boyega is currently giving no fucks whatsoever on Twitter, which is glorious. Good timing for the third and final part of my trio-character profiles: Finn!

(See also: Rey and Poe)

Let’s face it: Finn is very easy to love. He’s basically an adorable, lost puppy you want to take home and cuddle forever. It takes someone incredibly pure of heart to go through what he did and still come out of it with not only a functional moral compass, but a sense that he has a duty to care for the people around him. He does have a short time where he’s more concerned with self-preservation than helping the Resistance (which he thinks is doomed), but once he gets past that, he’s all in, as exemplified by his attempt at a kamikaze run on Crait.

And it’s that arc–getting past the trauma of his childhood to become a hero–that makes Finn such a compelling character.

How many people could be put through something as awful as Stormtrooper training from childhood and yet come out of it with as much inherent honor as a dedicated Boy Scout? Even with a little nudge here and there from the Force in the right direction (interesting, isn’t it, that he had that inexplicable urge to desert the First Order when he was on the same planet as the Force’s latest Chosen One), he still had to be a good person to begin with.

As a side note: Honestly, I have to say how eyeroll-inducing it is when some hardcore Kyle stans talk about how tragic his life was, like he’s the only person in this story who’s ever suffered. I mean come the gibbering fuck on. Ben may have had Palpatine in his head from birth, but at least he had a loving family that tried their best to keep him safe and happy. Rey got left in the care of Unkar Plutt when she was about six. Can you imagine the horrors she had to go through? Can you imagine how alone she felt? She was literally starving and just trying to stay alive. And Finn was stolen from his family before he was even old enough to remember his birth name (check the trooper-database picture of him that comes up in TFA: He’s little more than a toddler.) What the hell do you think the First Order does to the kids it steals and turns into mindless killing machines? What do you think it did to the kids who for one reason or another didn’t take to that training?

But I digress. The point is that Finn and Rey didn’t have Ben’s advantages and also had plenty of things pushing them to darkness (literally, in Rey’s case) but they still embraced the light–and the light in each other–anyway. They bonded quickly in large part because they both had such horrible childhoods, even though they didn’t know that about each other at first. These are some deeply, deeply scarred people who undoubtedly have extreme problems with trust and being vulnerable enough to love. Neither of them really know who they are when the story starts. They just know, thanks to the Force, that there’s something more–something good–they should be doing. And they’re also both drawn to Poe–Finn before Rey, of course–because he’s a caretaker and protector: Someone who proves over the course of the story that he won’t abandon them.

Both Finn and Rey have no clue whatsoever how normal adult relationships work when they first enter this story. Finn apparently has some understanding of the concept, since he asks her whether she has a boyfriend, but it’s very likely neither one of them has had any romantic relationships at all before they meet. They’re both technically adults, with adult brain development and judgment (though obviously some of that is colored by trauma), but when it comes to love? They’re lost. What they do know, within the first few minutes after they’re safe aboard the Falcon, is that they like each other a lot, and that bond continues to grow throughout the story. Finn of course also had strong feelings for Poe–the man who helped him leave the First Order and, believing in his humanity, gave him his real name–and he’s broken hearted when he thinks Poe has died in the TIE crash on Jakku. Taking his jacket is partly a disguise move, but also, he wants to hold on to something from the first person who treated him with true kindness. When Finn finally gets back to the base after the attack on Takodana, where does he go first? To see if his suspicions were correct about who was piloting that black-and-orange X-wing. He could have gone with Han, but if there’s a slight chance that his rescuer is still alive, he wants to know. Once he confirms that–their mutual delight at this is so lovely–the very next thing he does is tell Poe about Rey. That’s another adorable-puppy moment, I think: “Yay! You’re alive! I love you! Let me tell you all about this other person I love, too! You rescued me. Can you help me rescue her, too?”

The next several parts of Finn’s story come down to trying to maintain that instinctive connection he has with Rey, while also realizing Poe loves him, too. That last bit isn’t exactly easy, though. Finn is very focused on his own feelings. Having never really been loved before, he doesn’t easily recognize it in other people. Kindness, sure, but love? Eh. What he does know is how he feels about others, and most of that is initially focused on Rey. Only when Poe tells him (in a deleted TLJ scene) that she survived the battle on Starkiller and is safely on her way to her new mission does he relax at all. He’s also oblivious at that moment to what it means that Poe took the time to repair and return the jacket (I admit to some amusement at Poe’s slight crankiness at Finn not getting the hint about that.) All of that is quickly derailed, however, when the ship is attacked. Finn’s right there to take care of Poe when the hangar gets blown up, and shortly after, he picks up Rey’s beacon when it slips from Leia’s hand. Then (in another deleted scene) he goes to sit for a while to figure out what to do. BB-8 helpfully shows him a recording he made of Rey saying goodbye while he was convalescing, and that seems to push his decision to leave. Poe’s relatively safe, if worried about Leia and annoyed with Holdo, the cruiser is staying ahead of the FO ships for the time being, and Finn wants to go make sure Rey stays away from the front lines. Meeting Rose, of course, puts a wrench in that plan, but they make another one, he hands Poe wthe beacon (showing an incredible depth of trust there), and he’s off.

In the middle of all the stuff with Canto Bight, Rose develops her own crush on Finn, which he’s once again oblivious to until that surprise kiss during the battle of Crait. When he finally sees Rey again, at the end of TLJ, he falls into her arms like that’s where he’s supposed to be. Between TLJ and TROS, Finn and Rose apparently resolve their potential relationship issues, but then we start getting some slight tension between Poe and Rey.

Poe, of course, is still in love with Finn, and Finn’s in love with Rey, even if he insists to Poe (in Resistance Reborn) that they’re just friends–same as with Rose. She loves him back, and cares for Poe, too, but she’s still trying to deal with her own demons, and doesn’t have the mental and emotional bandwidth to deal with that stuff. All she wants to know is that Poe will take care of her BFF while she’s off. Poe, being rather more mature and experienced, figures out the solution: Go with her! And that’s where we see things starting to coalesce as they all finish the last steps of their personal journeys.

By the time the story ends, Finn and the two people he loves the most have all come out of their trials by fire changed in very good ways: Rey has faced her darkness and defeated it. Poe has faced his own fears of failure and inadequacy and become a powerful, confident leader. And Finn has faced the people who stole his childhood and played a huge role in cutting them down.

Most importantly, all three of them have found in each other what they’ve been missing their whole lives: Home.

#JediStormPilot #FinnReyPoe #spoilers

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dragynkeep · 4 years

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Mercury or Yang for the Character ask? Owl.

send a character & i’ll tell you my.

first impression.

holy shit she’s so pretty & happy, i love it

impression now.

another example of poor implications & wasted potential, i can’t decide who got it worse between her & blake. yang has easily gone down my list of favourite characters & it makes me sad because she was enjoyable in the early volumes. she was a character with maybe not the strongest base but she did have good qualities that could’ve been expanded on in a fulfilling way, & focused on more than what they did eventually focus on for yang — her relationship to blake & her “trauma.” unfortunately both storylines have left much to be desired.

favorite moment.

her reading raven for filth in the vault. this is the woman who has caused her so much strife & pain, abandoned her, made her feel small & worthless & like she meant nothing as a daughter. in that moment, yang was finally able to vocalize that pain & anger, maybe not in the full way i had wanted, but it was something. for all those girls who were abused & abandoned by their mothers, who got told to suck it up & put a smile on or felt like they had to. raven got hers & yang got some validation to her pain.

idea for a story.

it’s a small one shot i’m writing now but yang realistically dealing with the after effects of losing her arm, mostly in the scene with nora because dear lord is that scene painful to watch after being told that yang has had trouble putting her prosthetic on to then having no issues with it at all. we’re throwing out rt’s shoddy writing & putting in our own.

unpopular opinion.

yang is a white girl in all but name lmao. blonde hair, purple eyes, white voice actress, white allusion, western clothing, nothing about her says chinese or even asian descent. same way that blake is a basic white girl too, yang has nothing for her but her name & a ““ chinese ”” father ; no other chinese influence that really just exemplifies how lazy rt is with it’s world building.

if yang’s name is enough, then blake’s is enough to say that she’s white (italian), ruby’s is enough to say that she’s white (english) & adam’s is enough to say that he’s jewish. thems the rules.

favorite relationship.

ruby! i think we’ve been robbed of a lot of moments for them in these last few volumes but this relationship is one that’s really important to me. not only does it exemplify that half sisters don’t have to have drama over different parentage, but also that they can be as tight & loving as full blooded sisters. yang cares for ruby more than anyone, even if it’s not always been shown & as an older sister, i really related to that.

favorite headcanon.

yang was absolutely a nerd for martial arts movies & in a modern au, would absolutely open up her own shop to train kids.

#oddnub #rwby #yang xiao long #owl.txt #answered #q #miss yang when will you come back from the war #sobs

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myfandomrambles · 5 years

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Jess Mariano Character Analysis (Expanded)

Facts:

Abandoned by his father as an infant

Grew up with a neglectful mother

His mother dealt with minor alcohol dependency throughout his childhood

mother dated “losers, “deadbeats” giving an unstable childhood.

Seemingly smoked from a youngish age, and found taking beer as minor normal behaviour for him

Was sent to live with an uncle he had little of a relationship with

was continuously hated by the town

formed a bond with Rory and became very attached

Struggles in school while understanding most of the material.

Sticks to solitary behaviours

Has very limited social interaction. Only seeming to form connections with few people.

Mother goes through periods of radio silence.

Finds he would rather be in stars hollow than his original home (NYC)

Breaks taboos and rules often.

Runs away when faced when he fails high school and fights with his uncle

Searches for belonging with his biological father

Was willing to come to celebrate his mother’s marriage, even when he was wary of her husband and didn’t have a trusting relationship with his mother.

finds himself through creating and working within the art scene

Analysis:

Jess is a character who simultaneously is presented as a cliche Bad Boy, and love interest in many ways, but is also a character who breaks the dichotomy of Lorelai’s world vs Emily’s world, he isn’t either of these worlds which makes him a standout character even if he isn’t a lead for the majority of the show. But in a thematic and plot way, he is seamless in the story. His plot is reminiscent of many of the full-time leads, and struggles with many of the same problems of our leads but coming from a different background and world.

When the show starts Jess is already jaded and grown in ways he shouldn't be yet. He's experienced a lot of material and emotional hardships with no one even attempting to help him understand. He's casual about drinking, smoking, sex, and having to support himself. But he isn't exactly mature, he does all these things without being able to process them or react to new stress well. He is still a teen who feels he has nothing. I think he experiences something a lot of kids who experience unstable childhoods do simultaneously having to be older than you are, but not getting there in a way that allows it to be true maturity. Often struggling once you are a real adult to having the context to work with what you know.

His relationship with Rory is one that is s central point in both of their narratives. It’s sweet and cute at a lot of times, romantic in the way only happens with people who aren’t yet adults tragic in how it ends. Their relationship was also kind of cursed from the start having formed while Rory was still in love with someone else. The relationship also is plagued with problems in the form of neither of them knowing how to communicate. Jess is working through everything from his childhood, and Rory has a warped vision of relationships she can’t push through. Jess is also overly attached to Rory because he’s the only person she even likes, and the only person who shows open affection for him. The first end to the story is a kind bittersweet tragedy, it’s ar a crossroads point in time for both of them. It’s done beautifully with Jess knows this is goodbye and Rory I think kind know too, she’s not surprised he cut and run, though she is of course hurt.

After he runs away he stays in love with her but doesn’t ever properly communicate. He is still used to cutting and running, and Rory is tired of being the one left behind. This is exemplified in the scenes where he admits he loves her but neither of them knows what to do with it, then when he asks her to run away with him she can’t trust him. Then at the bookstore, we notice he still loves her, but she doesn’t love him. This clearly hurts jess, but by that point, he has a life to fall back on. But their relationship did change them for the better Jess references her being the only one who really believed in him, and He pushes Rory back into college. His reality check helps remind Rory that she isn’t only a Gilmore like her grandparents but also a Gilmore like her mother. Reminds her of her dreams and talent. He pushes her to try and not let Emily mould her into what she wants her to be. In A Year In The Life, we see him again help Rory find her way, his ability to be a foil to her erratic way of viewing the world is even stronger here as he has been in a stable life for a while, and he still cares for her quite a bit.

Jess’s relationship with Luke is the second most pivotal during the story. It’s an extremely dysfunctional relationship. This comes from Jess never having had a real parent figure he can’t accept Luke’s attempts to support him. Luke has never been a father before and having stunted emotional communication make it hard for him to articulate his thoughts. He can only show his care through actions. Buying him nicotine patches, building him a room, bringing him back from new york and trying to get him to stay in school. Another factor in the struggles they have is Luke is equally connected to Lorelai & Rory. He considers Rory his responsibility as much as Jess, even taking “her side” after the car accident. Their relationship does form into a deeper connection after Jess starts to find his way and appreciate what his uncle meant to do. When Luke visits him at his job and then when Jess visits in AYITL we see that they are able to truly connect as they both learn to work on their struggles. We also see through that Jess still has his characteristic slightly cynical view on the world easily assuming Lorelai is leaving Luke instead of trying to have Luke just ask her what's wrong. Though he does still come to visit him before the wedding showing he does support Luke and Lorelai's wedding even if he and Lorelai were never best friends.

As for his mother Liz, by the point, he enters the show she has sent him away instead of dealing with his mental health and behavioural issues. He even only calls her by her first name and doesn’t really try and repair the relationship even when he comes for her wedding, it’s clearly based around Luke wanting him there. Then even after he comes from her wedding she never tries to involve him in the future up to him never meeting his half-sister Dula. She is clearly a neglectful mother, not out of any kind of malice but by never being able to put him before her own whims. She dated around, married multiple people they all describe as loser and deadbeats, not getting to know jess as a person and struggling with implied alcohol addiction (ex: she has only ever been sober for one wedding). This affects him greatly and a large part of his character is learning what to do with this. In AYITL Jess explains he has to go help his mother and sister after they joined a cult, within the narrative, it comes across as mostly an explanation for Jess leaving and where the other characters are. However this raises a question of how much connection Jess has to his mother and sister at this point, and it shows he might have taken up Luke's role of bailing Liz out now that he's an adult.

Lorelai and Jess are generally antagonistic most of the time, though she does work to apologise when Rory is in love with them. Their visceral reactions based on their similarities not based on differences. Neither of them grew up in a loving household, neglect and poverty in Jess’s case and psychological and emotional abuse for Lorelai. Jess is a lot like a young Lorelai trying to do anything to rebel from the status quo, he acts as a mirror to her past mistakes and some of her personal issues. Jess dislikes her she’s just another judgmental adult, she actually does understand what he’s going for trying to connect with a teen like that doesn’t work right off the bat, they have to see it. She isn’t actually thrown off by him being rude that isn’t her problem, she only really gets defensive when he attacks her relationships and motives. Then he worries he might hurt her daughter and friend also.

I do think Jess is being a jerk in their conversation in Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy with her because he didn’t want to be there. But I don’t read him assuming she is sleeping with luke is just wanting to be a jerk, I think that was honestly what he assumes. In Jess’s eyes that would be bad and the only reasons, someone would view another person as that good. People dating and marrying his mother was destabilizing form as a kid I think in his mind if Lorelai was that to Luke it would just follow the pattern.

He is averse to Stars Hollow style of life, but he also seems to want the security of that lifestyle. Even choosing to come back after returning to New York for a period of time. He wants to be close to Rory again hoping she would choose him, and he is going back to the only stability he’s ever had.

The rest of the town generally hates him because he pushes back on many of the assumptions they have with life. He doesn’t want to be part of the town and doesn’t believe in the small town interconnection. Jess doesn’t believe that the way stars hollow is a family is worth people being nosy or wanting him to be someone he isn’t. None of the town regulars cares about him, takes his motivations into account, or listens to Rory or Luke when they say he isn’t the worst bad guy. Dean and he are rivals for Rory’s affection, Jess usually pissing Dean off in the process.

The only other person who likes him at all is his girlfriend Shane, but their relationship is shallow and I think they both knew that. Jess dates her I think because he came back to Stars Hollow to not be alone, he assumed Rory wanted him as well. But Rory is gone for the whole summer cutting him off, so he hangs out with someone who will pay him attention. They also do a lot of PDA and possibly go further it's not clear again I think it's some form of connection that doesn't include his emotions. Shane doesn't really seem all that upset that there is definitely an aspect of their relationship that is showing off for Rory. She doesn't like it, but i don't think she's as hurt as she could be becuase i don't think she loved jess also seeing it as just some fun. This relationship also doesn't make him anymore liked in town, or give him a connection to Stars Hollow.

Jess seems to simultaneously be bored in school but also struggles to view himself as adequate. He has no drive to finish school and cuts and runs instead of facing fallout, being pushed over the edge when he feels like Luke is angry with him too. He doesn’t ever flex the intelligence he has or skills with writing till the end. This is stated to be because of boredom and wanting money, I also think that he probably missed things in school. People who have unstable childhoods often miss multiple days in school, struggle to focus while in school, and may find it to feel impractical with so much else going on. Even if someone could understand and excel when given the information you can miss lessons that are hard to make up. As you get older there become things teachers assume you know, particularly in math, science and foreign language courses.

His lack of self-esteem often makes him rejects attention while also seeming to really want healthy connections. Or he experiences an obsessive connection as he does with Rory. This also plays into not always paying attention to what he needs and not believing he can be more than other people assume he is.

Jess acts out from wanting to express his anger which is then fed by the town anger and rejection of his presence. He does stupid stunts and fights with the people he loves. It’s a think a way to express anger and somewhat to get attention (usually Rory’s or Luke’s) he does want someone to care but doesn’t know.

Jess makes mistakes that hurt Luke And Rory. With Rory, some top examples are stealing her bracelet, not communicating with her and leaving without ever talking to her. With Luke, the mistake is mostly mutual neither of them know how to show or accept affection from the other. Jess usually resorting to trying to piss off his uncle and Luke not figuring out how to deal with issues before he reaches a breaking point. These problems are greatly connected to his trauma but are still things he should have tried to work on.

Jess is a character who I find is either demonized or over-romanticized. I think what both of these reads mistakenly view him as only a romance character, basing almost their entire read of him through a high school romance or Nicholas Sparks book lens. The reason Jess works in this story aren’t those influences they are present but why he works is he a different view on the main themes of the story.

It’s undeniable that Gilmore Girls is a story about family/generations, culture differences, and dealing with broken family relationships. Jess is driven by these themes as much as Rory or Lorelai. The family/generations theme isn’t as in your face with Liz and jess not sharing much screen time, but it’s still there, it acts mostly as prologue but it’s still the inciting event in his arc. His story with luke is also based on family, a found family arc to some extent. Then with broken relationships again his story is based on dealing with the fallout of his abusive and neglectful childhood, he isn’t managing broken relationships like most of the others but managing the way it changed him. Jess is an arc of someone having to overcome this, and it causes him to crash many times. Lastly, the culture clash is still important, You have the blue blood yale culture, the small town of middle-class Americana, and then Jess is a person who lives in shit in a dirty city. I think those themes are the crux of why jess works, his character is another view on the themes and motifs the story is built on, like with the others those motivations drive his relationship with Rory.

Jess is a character who only was major in two seasons but manages to be one of the most loved people on the show. He’s a character that if you watched it as a kid/teen you probably crushed on a little bit. He’s controversial but relatable to people who have similar backstories and his level of disillusionment with life plays well on the rose-coloured manic world Rory and Lorelai inhabit.

There is also such a skilful ability that even with it being slightly scattered his growth in the later seasons is believable, at each stage we see how he was able to internalize what he learned during his main arch and work it into his natural art and survival instincts. I wish we had seen more of it, but it is also one of the most hopeful and real stories on the show.

ADHD:

Inattentiveness

hyper fixations

Hyperfocus

Misunderstanding social input

Stimulus seeking

RSD

Hyperstimulate

Inability to focus in school

Works better in environments of action or art

Impulsive behaviour

Irritability

AVPD:

Struggles with maintaining relationships

avoids face to face interactions

negative self-perceptions

A safe person with Rory (ie: I don’t like anyone else)

Hides his feelings

avoids participating in group activities

heads off rejection by leaving or ignoring the problem

Avoids situations of both praise and rejection

Don’t believe he can succeed for much of the show

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fysebastianstan · 6 years

Link

It has to be hard to get a handle on what someone like Jeff Gillooly is like when you’re working on a film that’s comprised almost completely from contradictory first-hand accounts from the people who really lived through these incidents. At times, you portray him sympathetically, and at times you have to show this dark, loathsome, irredeemable side of him. Is that hard to convey these constantly changing character directions as an actor?

Sebastian Stan: That’s one of the great things about the script. One minute I was laughing so hard at what was happening, and then the next scene I would become so aghast that I would get confused about what I was laughing at. It’s the kind of material that was always challenging my own system of values, and the idea that these are real people and that this really happened – not to mention what I thought I knew or didn’t know about it all going in – really sparked my curiosity. Regardless of what really is the truth, I had to follow the script. In the film, there are scenes where Jeff will say “I didn’t do this. I had nothing to do with it.” Then in the very next moment, we’ll cut to him acting completely opposite of what he was saying because that storytelling perspective has changed. Whether he was telling the truth or he was lying, I always had to follow the script to find the truth in each scene as an actor. Both Jeff and Tonya, from doing these interviews, basically contributed to the screenplay in their own words. Steve Rogers went to interview both of them. I never got a chance to hear Tonya’s interview, but I did get to check out his, and his point of view is definitely in the script, as is her’s. We have to honour both of them to some respect.

It’s also a story where there’s a great amount of abuse and violence that colour who these characters are. How were you all able to manage the film’s more outlandish and comedic elements with these incidents of real life violence?

Sebastian Stan: The hard part with Jeff is that there’s no excuse for that kind of behaviour. I don’t care where you’re coming from. There’s no excuse for it. Absolutely none. I think the issue is more than boiling down to calling Jeff and Tonya rednecks, and more about the nature of trauma. You’re talking about two individuals who are very damaged. You can see in both of their lives that their pasts aren’t the greatest, even before they met each other. The problem is that you’re growing up learning these cycles of abandonment, abuse, violence, and survival amid great uncertainty, and if these are present when you’re growing up as a child, the sad part is that these feelings often get equated with love if that’s all these people know. I thought about that a lot, and how people can seek that later in life. I think they both play this tug of war with each other where they try to let go, and they keep coming back together because they exemplify all they think they know about love. For her, she thinks that she can’t be happy, because if she starts feeling happy or comfortable, she thinks that something must be wrong. That’s relatable, and I think we all have these fears; this fear that if someone puts a gun to your head that you’re going to run a marathon faster than anyone has run a marathon before. It becomes a survival mechanism. People always try to say that there’s something in their background, but I think people always looked in the wrong places for answers. Neither of them was exactly keen on going to therapy. In many ways, this is a story about trauma.

You said you got a chance to go over the interview tapes, but did you meet Jeff in person, and did it change your opinion about him as a person?

Sebastian Stan: Yeah, I did. As for if it changed my opinion of him… (long pause) Even right now if you were to ask me that, I honestly wouldn’t know what to say. I’m further removed now, but at the time I had to take such an objective point of view, and to a point where I had to take my own opinions on the matter out of the equation to find a way in to who he was as a person and the situations he found himself in. The only way that this made any sense was to treat the film as an obsessive, compulsive love story. Here’s someone who attached his own identity so close to someone else’s identity and worth that without her he didn’t know what life was going to be like, and it terrified him. I worked from there and tried to figure out what kind of situation that would be like. All of that was in the script, and the accounts were already so contradictory that I would never go up to Steve Rogers and say, “Oh, we can’t say this like this because Jeff told me…” But there were definitely moments where Margot and I would be in a scene, and I would say to her beforehand, “I’m pretty sure this is where she knew what was happening.” And she would say, “No, because he wasn’t telling her anything.” And we would go back and forth and question ourselves and our characters about who knew what and at what point. I think Craig did such a great job with the film and how he allowed us – and how he allows the audience – to come away with their own take on what happened. No one here is very innocent, so getting the truth out of them all was something I knew would be almost impossible. We will never really know. Maybe that’s what’s so interesting about the story. Why do we keep coming back to this? Why do we keep examining what happened with O.J. or the Menendez Brothers? There was a bad thing that happened, and we can point to it and know that it’s bad, but knowing where it starts, where it ends, and who knew what is confounding. It’s like no one involved or observing from a far thinks that the actual truth could ever be good enough. Everyone thinks about what could have been and why, but I’m not sure if anyone wants to confront the truth or know it completely. Tonya claims she knew nothing about it, and Jeff says that it started out as this small thing that someone else ended up taking to another level that he wasn’t involved in. But regardless of who they are, when you play a real life person, there’s still a sense of responsibility there. You have someone’s life in your hands, so to speak. It’s a great challenge, for sure. With Tonya, you have someone who’s very animated and adamant that they had nothing to do with what happened, which if you study behaviour and how people react to certain situations, it makes people question them more. With Jeff, he just kind of shrugs and says he didn’t do it, which is fascinating in its own way because you’re always looking deep into their eyes for any sort of tell that they’re lying to you. It’s colder, but there aren’t as many distractions. It’s so fascinating to be able to play alongside Margot and show these two sides of this crazy story.

Did you ever follow the case closely when it was originally unfolding?

Sebastian Stan: I was about ten or eleven when it first happened, so I was actually in Europe at the time, and I wasn’t following it closely. I did see [the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary] Price of Gold, and I think that was that was the first real exposure I had to what happened, and that was great. From there I watched so many tapes about the ins and outs of the figure skating world, and it took my appreciation for the sport and the seriousness of what happened had more weight to it. Here are athletes who make the near impossible look effortless, and I think that was one of the things that endeared people to Nancy Kerrigan. Everything Kerrigan did looked so smooth, pristine, and almost regal. But this idea that it was also like a pageant sort of thing, which is weird when you consider how physically demanding it all is.

#sebastian stan #sebstannews #interviews #long post #domestic abuse tw

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 6 years

Note

Lotor?

ngl, i squealed when i saw this. i get to talk about My Boy!!!

thank you for the ask

(send me characters and i’ll give thoughts on them!)

sorry, anti-lotor half of the vld fandom, but i love this guy to pieces and nothing y’all say can change that because 1. y’all’s attempts at critically saying he’s Bad are poorly done imo lmao, 2. i’m not so preoccupied with morality and purity culture that i stick my thumbs in my ears and try to shove plugs into other ppl’s ears, and 3. opinions are subjective.

like personally, i love complex characters set up as parallels and foils to major protagonists that are inherently anti-imperialist, archaeologists, and conservationists; are representative of a not-so-palatable reality of abuse survivorship; have issues of trauma, paranoia, and interpersonal defeatism; and are clearly being set up for a future arc that will be closely intertwined with said major protagonists—as well as driven by a deep, internal conviction and strength that has persisted against absolutely ridiculous odds—

but idk. your loss, i guess.

aesthetically: gorgeous. but i am very ace.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

don’t harangue me for not calling lotor a slytherin in case you support that side lol, but i read a really good meta on this a while ago that i agreed with here.

(gonna put the rest of this under a readmore since this gets to be A Lot.)

essentially, one of lotor’s core traits is the search for knowledge and scientific advancement for its own sake. there’s no way he doesn’t love learning—he spent centuries studying a culture that was extinct, a culture that by any imperialistic measures was worthless and weak because it opposed the empire and it was destroyed. one could hardly believe he began searching for the last remnants of altea for power or ambition. he studied them because he wanted to, for the sake of it, to connect to something that’s part of him.

in a lot of ways, he does exemplify slytherin traits—he can be exceptionally ruthless when he believes he or things/people he cares about are threatened, he is unusually preoccupied with a need for power and control, and his goals could be considered lofty and ambitious. however, much of these traits and desires can easily be linked to his trauma. one might make an argument that he’s still similar enough to honerva to qualify as a slytherin, but personally i think the story sets him up as opposing haggar without hypocrisy in too many ways to be persuaded.

(honerva wanted to continue her research despite the risks, endangering an entire planet and potentially the universe, because she saw the research as empowering. she saw her research—her own ambitions—as more important than anything else, and abandoned ethics like some burdensome shackle. but lotor is seen multiple times as unwilling to endanger people and planets for his goals without either being reasonably assured of their survival (such as voltron) or their consent. he despises cruelty and the taking away of others’ agency.)

in an ideal world, i think lotor would be an obvious ravenclaw. but his trauma has encouraged him to act like a slytherin.

best quality:

superficially: HIS NERDINESS. as soon as lotor started talking about ancient ruins, learning other cultures’ customs, and rattled off an entire poem he memorized off some old-ass cave wall he probably saw like 3 centuries before, i was absolutely done for. i had been trying to maintain my skepticism of him for skepticism’s sake, but god. you can’t just throw a goddamn archaeologist in my face and expect me to not fall deeply in love.

more seriously: i love lotor’s conviction. lotor has a strong sense of self, morality, and personal drive, especially for someone with his experiences.

he accepts and embraces both sides of his heritage as defining parts of who he is. in an empire that despises altean blood, he wields an altean broadsword, spends centuries studying what’s left of the culture, and openly admires the peace, people, and traditions of altea past. and in a castle of paladins and alteans, he demands to be judged “by [his] actions, rather than [the] preconceptions of [his] race,” knowing full well that team voltron perceives him as galra, and failing to inform them of his altean blood despite the clear benefits that would’ve come from doing so.

he has a code of conduct that’s repeatedly shown in sharp contrast to the ideals of the empire—even from his very introduction, when he stands in front of an entire arena of galran soldiers and refuses to compromise his own morals for a more rhetorically effective argument. lotor’s small, four-person team of generals (compared to the typical galran fleet) seizes an entire planet while killing no one and causing virtually no destruction.

he is also incredibly self-motivated. lotor has lived for centuries relying almost completely on himself, and he will ruthlessly protect himself and his own.

his inner strength is ridiculously admirable, and i love his self-assurance.

worst quality:

idk? usually ppl say flaws or some such here, but the problem is that flaws are more complicated than just “they do dumb things because of this adjective.”

also i love flaws. they’re born of the essence that makes a character who they are. hating their flaws is ridiculous.

with that said……..

fucking hate lotor’s hair. seriously, wtf? he can tuck all of it into his helmet and have it all fall back out nice and neatly. HOW. it’s the biggest lie of the entire show alongside allura’s bun. it’s just not possible and i hate that lotor defying reality just to look beautiful is Canon.

his butt cape. like akjhdkhgkghjgk,,, a genuine BUTT CAPE. for what purpose?? preference??? drama???????? i’ve seen comparisons to honerva’s own butt cape back when she was a normal empress-consort scientist on daibazaal, which makes sense since lotor loves making Fashion Statements, but god. a butt cape.

what on god’s heavenly green earth is up with his swordsmanship? the acrobatics and the flourishing are positively ridiculous. who the fuck actually tries killing a powerful emperor and their abuser by smashing them from above with a purple final fantasy sword like they’re the hammer and zarkon is a nail. lotor is unrealistic.

ship them with:

recovery and happiness.

brotp them with:

his generals. DUH. it’s clear that they’ve had a strong history together, and it’s impossible to have their relationship end here without any sort of resolution or confrontation about narti’s death. let them reunite under conciliatory terms. let them be friends again. (and let sincline return.)

allura for sure!!! their relationship development has been beautiful so far and i want to see that continue.

coran. they’re both Nerds. plus, one of them got to experience a full and long life on altea. let them talk.

the paladins in general. it might be difficult, slow-going, and hesitant/full of suspicion on both sides, but god—just imagine if they were friendly. (plus it would do worlds of good for lotor. he’s a lonely man, and it would even more clearly distance him from comparisons to zarkon.)

the blade of marmora (and keith). the show has said nothing so far, but i refuse to believe that in the past centuries, lotor and the blade have never interacted or crossed paths before. i can imagine why they would’ve been uninterested in alliance with each other, but i can also imagine what would make each appeal greatly to the other. let them interact. (as for keith, he and lotor have a lot of similarities. it’s real funny how similar allura, keith, and lotor all are to each other, really. hm.)

needs to stay away from:

haggar. she’s fake as hell and evil to boot. some ppl think that she’s reawakened some kind of dormant love in her for lotor after regaining more memories in s5, but that’s far from the case. someone who’s become and lived as she has for 10,000 years doesn’t suddenly care well about someone she’s abused horribly because she realizes she gave birth to them, and doesn’t suddenly become sympathetic in the good way because she’s “motherly” now. (not if the writing’s supposed to be decent, anyway.) she realizes lotor’s about to die and does absolutely nothing else except turn on the magic shiro television in her lab. she only finds out after the black bayard exchange has already happened, and she’s haggar. if she really wanted to stop what was happening, she could’ve done a lot more than just watch through shiro’s eyes. she’s a horrible person, folks, and lotor would do best to never see her again. (unfortunately, it’s much more likely that she will fuck his shit up some more next season. rip.)

zarkon. hopefully he actually stays dead this time, but i’ve seen some good points on how sketchy his ability to stay dead is. nevertheless, all memory of him deserves to be banished to the nether realms. lotor should never have to deal with that asshole’s legacy again.

misc. thoughts:

anyone who talks about lotor getting/not getting/deserving/not deserving a redemption arc makes me lose my shit because he hasn’t even done anything to warrant a redemption arc in the first place like tbfh. evil deeds whomst?? trying to kill voltron when?? where are these receipts of malice??? he’s never done an evil damn thing but y’all humoring the concept anyway. smh.

anyway, lotor needs a therapist, healing, and some good fucking friends. @dreamworks give lotor a recovery arc 2k18.

#luanna801 #ask #voltron #voltron meta #lotor #prim post #i talk a fucking lot about one of my favorite boys #in regards to the :)#i am trying to avoid siccing the tumblr shipping demons on myself #sorry

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angelofdirewolves · 7 years

Text

Underneath the Stars Playlist

This is a playlist of songs that I listened to when writing this story, or that have special meaning in regards to the characters. Apologies for length despite that it’s only songs long, because I got very meta-y in compiling this and quoting the songs and explaining why they fit. Spoilers for the entire fic are present in the meta paragraphs, and links to each song are embedded in the name.

Songs Mentioned in Fic:

Light on the Horizon by determamfidd “There’s a light on the horizon, there’s a ship upon the sea, now the world is so much wider, for you wander it with me.” This song is one of many that was written, composed, and performed by the author of the absolutely stunning LoTR fanfic Sansúkh. Sansúkh is a story about family and healing and what it means to forgive yourself and to forgive others, even if it is too late, thus making it extremely fitting for the end of this story, because all of them need to learn to forgive each other, to heal the breaches that time has wrought, and nothing exemplifies that better than this fic, and no song promises that better future than Light on the Horizon.

The Star Cycle: A series of three songs that are all based on the stars, not an official term, just one coined by me for the fic, because Aoife would have little playlists of three or four songs and call them pretentious names, mostly created when she was a child with Amanda.

Underneath the Stars by Kate Rusby. “Underneath the stars you met me, underneath the stars you left me … they come and go of their own free will, go gently.” Jenny’s favorite song of the Star Cycle, and the titular song of the fic. While Jenny adored this song long before the events of this fic, it becomes especially poignant once Aoife abandons her to go complete the Kolavar. The song speaks of being abandoned by one who loves you for your own good, and about someone who has no friends but the stars. It rings painfully true both before and after the events of this story.

All the Stars by the Wailin Jennys “All the Stars in the sky say goodbye say goodbye, we were here yesterday now it seems so far away … oh you don’t know me, you know one side of the story.” Keith’s favorite song of the Star Cycle. Again, this becomes very poignant when Keith is on earth, because no one can truly know him there, and he has no one but Shiro, and even he leaves to go to Kerberos eventually. Even into canon, no one really knows him because he keeps shut about his relationship to Zarkon, and to Aoife and Jenny because he’s always been trained to keep quiet about that, even with people who he’s supposed to trust, and trusting is still a difficult concept for him.

Starlight by the Wailin Jennys “I have come back to you broken, take me home … kingdom come their will was done, and now the earth is far away from any kind of heaven, take us home.” Aoife’s favorite song of the Star Cycle and the song Jenny was singing when Shiro found her. Aoife has always internalized her relationship with Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar more than Keith has, and Jenny is the only other one that comes close. She was raised in part by them, and if not for the interference of her mother, she would have thought that the way they were raising her, to be the unbreakable face of the empire was the way things always were, the only way things could be. The only thing that she doesn’t like about this song is a line about the singer being in need of mercy, because she doesn’t feel that she deserves mercy for anything she has done.

Ave Maria by Kevin Memley “Ave Maria, gratia plena (translated) Hail Mary Full of Grace.” This song is rerecorded by Aoife to be Ave Amanda, because she reveres her mother in a way that elevates her almost to sainthood. Also rings true because due to science, Amanda does not have children in the normal way- Aoife enjoys those particular coincidences. Jana’s name also means Grace, and Amanda was the one that named her, so there’s also that connection.

Aoife’s Songs:

Uneven Odds by Sleeping at Last “I once knew your father well. … As your guardian I was instructed well, to make sense of their love in these fires of hell.” Aoife’s song for Keith and Jenny, because she was the one that raised them all on her own from the time that she was fifteen, still half a child herself. She loves Keith and Jenny with everything that she has, but sometimes that isn’t enough, because she knows that Keith deserves Amanda, and she knows that sometimes she can’t even look at Jenny without thinking about the trauma Aoife suffered at the hands of Jenny’s unknown father. So she sees herself both as the guardian and as the fires of hell for them both.

Sun by Sleeping at Last “We are the dust of dust, the apple of God’s eye. … We are infinite as the universe you hold inside. … let there be light let me be right.” Aoife was Zarkon’s beloved granddaughter, and he was the closest thing to a god that exists for the majority of the universe. She was also Haggar’s niece and protégé. Aoife is the most powerful manipulator of the fabric of universe ever recorded by the druids and ‘taught’ by the next most powerful quintessence user. She’s constantly hoping that she is the one that is right, the one that will prevail against these two night divine beings.

Third Eye by Florence and the Machine “That original lifeline. … There’s a whole where your heart lies and I can see it with my third eye, and my touch it magnifies… I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m trying to change.” In the battle that kills Zarkon, Aoife loses Thace, who she’s been bonded with at the brain since they were children, as seen in the interludes, the person that kept her alive by his mental support after the death of her mother, and he’s gone, so she gets much, much worse, which leads her to the Kolavar. At the end of the story, coming out of the healing pod into Keith and Jana’s arms, Aoife recognizes how much she has hurt her children by her actions and her lessons. She has a lot of amends to make, and she’s trying to change, but it’s a difficult process that will take time and a lot of effort, and not a few relapses. But she’s trying, and for now, that’s enough.

Jenny’s Songs:

North by Sleeping at Last “We will call this place our home … We’ll tell our stories on these walls … We call this fixer upper home.” Jenny’s main issue beyond her family, is that she never had a place to call home. They never stayed anywhere more than a few days, a few weeks if she was lucky. The closest thing to a permanent home she had was the ship Aoife stole when she escaped, and while that was where she lived, it wasn’t home, because it was so incredibly small and so confining to all of them. Once they landed on a new planet the basic way it went was to leave the ship and stay outside it as long as they could before they had to leave again. Jenny knows every piece of the machinery, but it wasn’t her home. Aoife had a home for six to fourteen years, and Keith (from her viewpoint) had a home for five years, but Jenny has never had one and feels that loss keenly.

Pluto by Sleeping at Last “I leaned in and let it hurt, let my body feel the dirt. … Show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins.” Jenny right as she starts to fight with Keith. She’s been strong for so very long, her whole life. Repressing her anger towards her mother, repressing her anger towards Keith, and when Keith said everything would go back to the way it was she just snapped and let all those walls she built over her life down. She loves her mother, loves her little uncle, but she had to wear armor to be around them, after those five years of Aoife’s grief, and Keith not being there. She doesn’t quite know where her love for them and her anger for them meet, but with time and a thousand apologies and honest open conversation, facilitated by Coran, she will be able to get there, eventually.

Queen of Peace by Florence and the Machine “Oh the King gone mad within his suffering … And now you have me on the run, the damage is already done … like a boat into oblivion because you’re driving me away.” For Jenny after Keith ‘died’ this was her life, Aoife gone mad because of his loss, and damaging her daughter in her wake. She’s asking Aoife if this is what she wanted. The fact that Light on the Horizon at the end of the story mentions there being a ship upon the sea indicated that the love between them has been drawn back from oblivion, but not quite to solid land yet.

Keith’s Songs:

East by Sleeping at Last “I set out to rule the world … so I draw my sword with the morning sun… I bear little resemblance to the king I once was, I bear little resemblance to the king I could become, maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids.” Even though Keith was the younger sibling, he was the second in line to the imperial throne right after Lotor. Jenny was after him, then Haggar, and then Aoife after her, because Druids are automatically placed at the bottom of the line of inheritance because it’s more important to the Galra that they serve the Ladies first and then the clan. So Keith always knew, even though he wasn’t living with the Galra that he was in the line to rule the Galaxy, and when he was a little toddler he thought that was awesome, but as he grew up and realized the damage that the Galra Empire did, he went nope away from the thought. And now he’s a member of Voltron, and entity that while not ruling the Universe, is going to rebuild it, which is a different type of ‘kingship’ than what he idolized as a kid, but is more suited to the realities of the universe as it is.

Mercury by Sleeping at Last “In a holding pattern to find myself, … I’ll go anywhere you want, anywhere you want me. … to know the worth of my life made of precious metals.” Keith basically stifled on Earth for five years because he was desperate to know where Amanda came from, because he didn’t worship her the way Aoife did, but he needed to know about who she was where she came from, if she could have ever loved him. The precious metals line and the fact that his made-up-by-necessity last name means gold is just a bonus.

Which Witch by Florence and the Machine “I’ve had enough, it’s obvious, and I’m getting tired of crawling all the way … been in the dark since the day we met, fire help me to forget.” Keith is actually, genuinely surprised that he wasn’t recognized by anyone before Jenny. Allura and Coran he can let slide as they were asleep while Amanda and Aoife were in the universe, but everyone else? The Olkari and the Taujeeri, and the Galra, and the Balmerans? Amanda was well popularized, she went to events at Zarkon’s and Lotor’s sides and was praised as mother to the next generation of the empire, and Keith looks scarily like Amanda. He’s fairly sure that Zarkon recognized him when they fought while the others were rescuing Allura, when he started the taunting about ‘you fight like a Galra soldier’, to which Keith was internally like, ‘DUH of COURSE, because I was ENGINEERED THIS WAY TO YOUR SPECIFICATIONS’ while he wasn’t terrified out of his mind. Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar have been a shadow over him for his entire life, and he’s ready to cast them off and cast them away.

Miscellaneous Songs:

Why We Build The Wall? By Anais Mitchell This song doesn’t get a quote, because if I started quoting it I’d never stop. This describes perfectly the mentality of the Galra Empire, their teaching strategies, call and response echoing back ten thousand years, so that the ones in charge don’t even need to give the answer, because it’s so ingrained into their subjects. Jenny will listen to this and cry whenever she’s feeling particularly maudlin over her family.

Leave my Body by Florence and the Machine “I don’t want no future, I don’t need no past, one bright moment is all I ask. I’m going to leave my body, I’m gonna lose my mind. (Moving up to higher ground.)” The inspiration behind the Kolavar ritual in song format. The total subjugation of your past, any chance at a future, for one moment of judgement. Ignoring the needs of the body and becoming lost in your mind for weeks beforehand.

Daughter of Heaven by Kate Rusby “Oh Daughter of Heaven, oh daughter of now, the stars are your jewels, the rubies your crown, we all stand in awe of your right to astound, she’s gone to a new place now” This is the way that the universe as a whole sees Allelee and Aoife. Allelee as the daughter of traitor Altea, saved by her love for the Galra King-turned-Emperor. Aoife as the granddaughter of that same Emperor. They ultimately wind up leaving the reach of the Empire, Allelee through death, and Aoife though escaping into the border lands and never leaving it. Also Zarkon called Aoife his jewel, and she wore rubies as part of her ceremonial dress, as Allelee did. (They went surprisingly well with her hair, which was more of a red orange, than her little brother’s neon orange.)

Only if For a Night by Florence and the Machine “My body was bruised and I was set alight, … and although I was burning, you’re the only light, only if for a night.” This is Aoife and Thace in a nutshell. They’re each other’s light, each other’s source of hope, of sanity in a world gone mad at the whim of a family of dictators. They were tied together by a mental bond, one that wasn’t romantic, but was in the process of developing in that direction before it was interrupted by Haggar and then by Aoife’s pregnancy. They only saw each other in the flesh twice after Aoife ran away from her family, once before Lotor caught Aoife and once after, which marked the turning point in her use of illusions of Keith, only for a day and a night each time, because Aoife could never stay in the same place, and Thace had two opposing masters who he could almost never flee from. Thace would have sent her an apology through the bond before he died in the season 2 finale, and Aoife screamed and then went silent, though her mind was never silent, it was just a wail of anguish until she could speak to Jenny again.

#underneath the stars #playlist #MUSIC #my playlists

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