#and i think i'm feeling worse about it this year because this year SPECIFICALLY fucked me up in different ways
Text
I am TIRED of hearing the whole "there is NO reason a paragraph shouldn't be more than four lines" writing critique. If Ursula Le Guin can write an asshole psychiatrist monologuing for a page and a half straight, it is FINE, actually.
You can have characters monologue, you can have a long bit of description, you can give exposition in chunks—the issue is when there's no PURPOSE to it and it's treated as a prerequisite dump of information rather than a curated telling.
As long as you're making choices about language and what is being conveyed so that it's relevant and matches the style, it's fine.
#I read body work by melissa febos yesterday and she was like 'unpopular opinion: every single thing in a piece of writing is a choice'#and I was like 'oh my god. a woman after my own heart.'#this is my DEEPEST HELD writing opinion#and also it's fine if you are NOT looking that specifically at every comma but like.#on a larger level you gotta understand why you're doing what you're doing cuz if it implies something you don't want it to?#you gotta be able to understand if that choice is more important to you than the secondary thing it implies#and like. I'm not interrogating every comma or individual word (and my aversion to editing is a flaw that I need to improve upon)#but like. where a paragraph ends is always a choice. always always always. probably the grammar thing I think about most actually.#often it is more of an instinct than conscious examination cuz I've been doing this a long time and there's a feel to it#but I know WHY a paragraph ended when and where it did. I can tell you exactly why if you asked!#and readability is one of the concerns there!!! but that is sure as FUCK not the only concern#nor is it necessarily the most important concern if there's a stylistic need that trumps it or must be balanced with it! and there often is#also. as an adhd person. if I have to hear that it's ableist to adhd people because 'they don't have that much of an attention span!'#I will throw the products of my twenty years worth of writing hyperfixation through your fucking window.#if it's BORING or I don't CARE or I'm TIRED then nO but in a BOOK THAT I AM WILLINGLY READING? shut the fuck uppppp#I don't need No long paragraphs I need VARIATION. INTENTION. STYLE.#I don't have enough attention span for your bullshit actually.#and my experience with adhd is NOT the only one but like. to use adhd to claim that as a stylistic choice is Bad is just. fuck you actually#like constant staccato paragraphs are actually usually WORSE for me cuz I cannot tell what's supposed to be emphasized.#I need the contrast so I know what gets the most weight. cuz NOT EVERYTHING SHOULD. there are LEVELS.#anyway I'll stop ranting in the tags but I was reading lathe of heaven and got mad about it all over again.#I didn't actually see this commentary today I just remembered it. with my so-terribly-short attention span.#so you can rip my long paragraphs out of my cold dead hands.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Feel Bad for Feeling Bad and that getting in the way of of even streaming and things I need to do and I get caught between wanting to vent about it but also like Not wanting to be a broken record but also feeling like I'm just Lazy and Stupid because of it and also just not wanting to sound like i'm making excuses and knowing it must be annoying hgfdfgh
even just typing this all feels very!!! mmmmm bad. but still I type I guess.
#[ ;text ]#venting --#it's like. yeah i know i'm sick and have stuff going on#but one: couldn't get a diagnosis before covid happened and i aged out of my insurance#two: those issues also make it hard to really do anything job-wise so i'm like. unemployed. so no insurance there anyhow.#no job = no money = not helping with the household#no insurance and no money = no doctor = can't officially figure out what the fuck is up with me#no doctor to diagnose anything + no jobs = can't really get any official shit to potentially help me#also like.... living in texas#and i think i'm feeling worse about it this year because this year SPECIFICALLY fucked me up in different ways#like it feels Stupid and like an excuse saying the stress from the february stuff actually damaged me#and then my brother died in june and i'm realizing my body is still not over that#...and i know for sure it's probably just been made worse bc of long covid#and i'm just. HGHGHG.#anyway sorry i won't vent So Much here i'll be back on my working on stuff i'm just having a small moment
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
#I don't like to consider myself an anxious person because I haven't had like generalized anxiety much in my life or maybe I have n I don't#remeber. forever had social anxiety#but this year I'm so incredibly anxious just doing nothing or anything#about nothing but also about things that trigger my PTSD and OCD#I feel so much more sensitive to becoming that way idk if it's because of my antidepressants or because of how many hours and hours of this#specific abusive relationship media I've watched lmao#I really enjoy it when watching it it's amazingly done and I can't stop thinking about it I'm totally in love with the characters n their#relationships n the story etc but later after it's settled in my brain I'm too anxious to watch it anymore#stupid brain#personal shit#audio#but anyway I was doing just fine ptsd wise and obsessive part of ocd wise but I started thinking about some shit n talked about it in#therapy n thats of course a good thing I don't want to hust bury it but damn bro getting through it sure isn't easy#also stupid brain bc when I'm ''not suffering enough'' I feel like damn I should be suffering more my mental illness is not bad enough#but then when it's worse again its like fuck no lets go back to the not suffering as much#y'know how it is#spotify play killpop by slipknot at a high volume to drown out having shitty feelings but also the song makes me anxious as well because#it's literally about a shitty relationship and reminds me So much about my favorite characters in this media and their relationship#we were meant to be together now die and fucking love me#p***/e***** brainrot FOREVER
0 notes
Text
Show me where it hurts (part 1)
Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader
(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist
summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.
warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo
a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D
(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)
edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(
wc: 3.6k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You think Miguel is avoiding you.
One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.
"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."
She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.
"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill for…"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.
"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."
He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."
"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"
"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"
"I don't have time for this-"
"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"
"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.
"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."
"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."
This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.
"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"
"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explain…. later."
"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."
He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "
Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"
When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.
"I just…. don't want her to see me like this… Lyla, it's not happening… I can't tell her…." Tell her what, exactly?
Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.
~~~
Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.
He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.
Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.
"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.
Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.
"What happened?" He strains.
"I don't even… it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and… " She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"
"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it off…"
"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"
Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.
"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down… Jess, tell him that I can-"
"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."
Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.
"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."
When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.
You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.
"You should… mierda ! You should be resting in bed."
You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."
"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."
You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"
He shrugs. " 'Course I was."
"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.
"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.
He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"
"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.
"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumatic…"
"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"
"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"
"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"
"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"
"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "
He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.
"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"
Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.
"I don't… I d-don't…?"
"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"
Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.
"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't… we can't lose you."
"Miguel-"
"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."
"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."
Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."
You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.
"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."
You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.
~~~
The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.
The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.
You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.
"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"
"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.
You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.
The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.
"Ow… ouch … Dad's on the phone, honey."
"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"
"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"
"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."
"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."
"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."
"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"
You hum.
"Could've sworn Lyla cancelled…"
"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."
He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"
"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just… uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."
"Naturally…"
"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."
"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"
"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, and…." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."
"Shit."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."
"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks… "
"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."
" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."
"Good to know. I'll see you around."
He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.
Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakes…
You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better.
On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.
"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.
"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.
"Uhh… hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"
"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."
"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"
She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."
Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more… his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge… in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"
"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."
You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"
"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."
"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me… I could just ask questions?"
She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."
"Did I do something? Not just today but… last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"
"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is… complicated." She gestures around that word.
"I'm a little confused, Lyla."
She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.
It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.
Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and again…
"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "
You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."
"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."
Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.
"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"
"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."
"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."
"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."
"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."
"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"
"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."
The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."
"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."
With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.
_
_
_
#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#across the spiderverse#kat_writes😼#this gif is fucking crazy btw
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
i am. emotion.
#why does this. why. like number one why am i like this bc if i just wasn't like any of this then i wouldn't have problems#i feel mean i feel like i was mean and i wasn't trying to be mean and i didn't mean to be mean but there was a communication breakdown#i think i'm pretty sure there was a communication breakdown and i didn't notice in the moment because i'm an idiot#but i'm also instant replaying the entire conversation and it was texted so it ain't like i don't have the specifics#and i feel like i was mean i feel like i was teasing and didn't recognize a line that i shouldn't have hit#he didn't say anything and i don't think he's gonna and i'm probably just going to sit on it until it has a place to slot into the convo#and i can pretend that i haven't been thinking about it since i said it because like i don't want to be?? That Guy????#i already apologize for too much to the point where he fuckin outright noticed i was apologizing for everything#it wouldn't necessarily be out of left field for me to just fuckin. apologize to him out of the blue for something he might not remember#is it worse if i apologize for something that he doesn't remember or if i don't. i don't. i don't know.#my chest hurts. i don't want to be mean. i really don't want to be mean.#i don't want to be an Unsafe Person. i really don't. but i. like i mean i Know that sometimes people just take quiet note#like they think to themselves 'ok don't talk to this person about that'#and i don't want to be that!!! i don't!!!!!! but idk if it bothers him!!!!!!! but idk!!!!!!!!!#i'm going in circles. i'm losing my mind. there's a reason i put the ball in his damn court so much and it's because i don't want to fuck up#but even that is a fuckup!!!! bc then there's no reciprocation!!!! and then he asks me what's going on in my head#bc there's words behind my eyes and we both know it but even still i don't!! say them!!! bc i am so condtitioned into DO NOT SAY THAT#the mentality of DO NOT SAY THAT#it runs deep. i put it there. i can't escape it anymore. and it sucks and i don't KNOW.#i'm not even anticipating this friendship to last past the year i don't KNOW#like god i want it to god i'd love it to because he is wonderful and like i am Not Exhausted by being around him#like he is a comfortable person and i don't want to be exhausting but i feel exhausting and i have no idea#there is so much in my head right now i'm so sorry#not kpop#shut up vic#negativity
0 notes
Note
okay so I'm curious- puptrapping you say? That you'd need another post to go into? I'd like to encourage this please
Puptrapping?
You want to hear about puptrapping, you say?
Anon, your wish is my command.
Just so you know, this is like you encouraging a crack addict by finding them a new dealer. I am not joking because this is my obsession at this point, but I do encourage you to send in more asks about Omega!Makarov or ideas you want me to write about because I will. I never originally thought of puptrapping; instead, it was my dear friend @frogchiro who said that she thought he would based on a comment I made about him tying you down to make sure you cum in him. Also, do thank @frogchiro because she helped me form these ideas in our late-night rants, and she is my biggest encourager.
Now that I have written this, I am tempted to write about Omega!Makarov with pups or a fic based on this idea if anyone wants it.
Obvious warnings for puptrapping (omegaverse version of babytrapping) and all the shit that goes with it, Omega!Makarov spiking your drink with an omegaverse version of Viagra (that sounds so fucking weird), but also a big misunderstanding between Omega!Makarov and reader.
This whole idea is based on it being a misunderstanding. Omega!Makarov is a feared man; no one even knows he is an omega; you were only allowed that grace of knowledge due to being his alpha -specifically chosen for being the most desired for your size and strength-. Knowing how secretive he was about his second gender, you presumed that he would never want pups as it would reveal his identity to the world, and he could not have that, could he? Hell, you did not even think he loved you; he only used you to satisfy his natural instincts that come with being an omega so that he would not be on a constant edge from having his subconscious desires not be fulfilled. You enforced the rule around using some form of protection as you did not want to force or pressure him into having pups that he would never want in a million years.
But oh, you poor, dumb alpha. How wrong could you be?
Omega!Makarov is infatuated with you. As soon as he saw you, he knew that you had to be his; no one else would be able to satisfy him after he saw you. Yes, he may be a cruel, heartless man but he loves you in his own special way and let me tell you he loves you with all his heart! He genuinely does! Now, being that he loves you so much, it is only natural that he wants your pups; it is only made worse by him being an omega and having the natural instincts to breed and have pups that poor omegas like him have. He knew he wanted pups from a young age, even if he knew that he did not love like a normal person does. Another part of him wanting to have pups is his own relationship with his father. A narcissistic, bullheaded alpha that abused Makarov and his poor brother for being omegas, Makarov had to watch as his poor mother was abused for not giving that asshole the alpha sons he desperately wanted. His father was never nice to him; he was a horrid father who chickened out at the last minute instead of suffering the consequences of his actions. Makarov does not want to be like that; he instead wants to be the best father he can be and have as many pups as he can to shove it to the old man who damaged him so much, to embrace the one thing his father abused him for and always forced him to hide.
So, for you to say that you need to use birth control? That is the biggest insult to him! Do you not love him? Do you not think he is a good enough omega to have your pups? Are you just using him to get yourself off? Are you planning on just dropping him off one day? Why do you not feel like him? He wants your pups so badly, why do you not want to give them to him?
He damn near hissed at you for suggesting such a thing, but he decided to hold his tongue as he knows he will get his way, he always has.
Now it just. depends on what type of birth control you force him to use for what he does to still be able to have your pups.
Condoms? Expect every single one to have multiple puncture holes from the set of pins that used to belong to his mother. Small enough for you not to notice but just big enough to allow enough cum to come through to give him a nice litter of pups. But that is only if you are stupid enough to allow him to be the only one to supply the condoms or allow him to be around the box by himself for longer than two minutes. If you buy them and never let him near them, you can be sure that those things will rip because, for some reason, your knot was a lot bigger than it normally is causing the condom to rip.
Birth control? He is lying about being on it. The prescription he showed you was a fake he forced a poor pharmacist to make as the pills inside that he showed you were nothing more than sugar pills mixed with the omegaverse version of Viagra known as an Amplifa that helps people knot while also increasing their fertility that he forced the drug dealers he hires to make. Each day, he will take them in front of you, knowing that they do not work. But if you are the one to supply the pills, then he is finding any pill or herb known to man to counteract it so that the birth control fails.
The Amplifa he uses to spike your drink and his own have a few side effects. I imagine omegas to have a reverse knot to match an alpha’s knot, which means they are doubly bonded. How it works is by inflating the sides of the passage like how, for an alpha, the base inflates to lock inside; it is to make sure that the alpha is being milked of all their cum and that the omega is too tight for the alpha to pull out. Since both he and you have been spiked with it, it causes your knot to inflate beyond the point of it being pulled out while he is too tight that it hurts to try and pull out. It also makes the knots last for hours upon hours instead of the normal half an hour to an hour, as it makes you cum so much. Not to mention it makes you incredibly more horny so you could fuck for longer.
With everything prepared, he has sex with you.
Once you are close to cumming he leg locks you making sure you can not push him off as you cum. Your knot inflating inside him as he milks you dry, all while he is still moving his hips in a specific motion to cause more friction that stimulates you and makes you hard yet again. Wiggling his hips and whining as you have yet another orgasm while the two of you are stuck together as his reverse knot will just not let go. Watching as his tummy begins to form a bump already as it grows from how much cum you have stuffed inside of it with every orgasm. He puts on the “I’m innocent, I swear!” act; he uses all the manipulation tactics he knows, the fake tears, the lies, the everything. He is just a simple omega who was trying to enjoy sex with his alpha; he has no idea what is going on. Whining over how worried he is since with this much cum he is most definitely already pregnant, even if you were being safe. All of this while he continues to move his hips as you cum once more.
And as soon as you are asleep from exhaustion and overstimulation he is gently caressing his stomach as he purrs. He can already imagine the litter of pups he will be having in a few months and how much of a happy family you all will be...
#tw: babytrapping#tw: puptrappping#omegaverse cod#omega!makarov#omegaverse#alpha!reader#makarov x reader#call of duty#cod#vladimir makarov#cod makarov#call of duty makarov#tw: tampered protection#tw: tampered birth control#tw: drink spiking#tw: drugging
592 notes
·
View notes
Text
Join me in reviewing Olivia Rodrigo's album GUTS. I've waited years for this!!
all-american bitch - 9/10, big fan. I love it when she screams because the world is unfair. same girl, same
bad idea right? - 10/10. I know this one is controversial but I LOVE her more punky songs, I think that's when she's best
vampire - 10/10. I'm not always a fan of piano ballads, but the bridge and outro really make it for me. The hurt turning into anger and despair is just so cathartic. And the video is one of my faves of all time
lacy - 1000/10. What the hell. Did not expect to feel this much emotion from that title. Uhhh... yeah, same. I super relate to that. Whether or not lacy is supposed to be a real person or a manifestation of the beauty standard, this hits. Also, idk if I'm making this up but I dig the romantic undertones, they sell it
ballad of a homeschooled girl - "I made it weird, I made it worse"/10. OLIVIA HOW DID YOU KNOW that I lie awake thinking about all the weird things I did and said, Olivia, did you write this for me specifically??? Every day I am alive IS social suicide. I'm sorry, this is my song, actually. "Can't think of a third line", she's so real
making the bed - "I'm playing the victim so well in my head"/10. How. Does. She. Do. It? I could write an entire essay about this song. Maybe THIS is my song?? She's so good at saying exactly how I feel. I already know that this song will play a million times on my phone. Also I love the drivers license references. Big fan of the making the bed metaphor
logical - 9/10. favourite crime vibes. She's good with these songs about bad relationships. Used to be my favourite thing she did, but now I'm more invested in the songs that are about her/other experiences. That being said this song is really fucking good. This is the Olivia I fell in love with and she's still amazing at doing piano ballads
get him back! - 9/10. Olivia having ANOTHER song with speak-singing where she wants to get back with her ex?? Yes, PLEASE. Bad idea right 2.0. Fucking obsessed
love is embarrassing - 10/10. I said it before I'll say it again, angry Olivia is the best. And she's right, love IS embarrassing as hell
the grudges - 10/10. She does the paino ballads SO WELL. I think this is my favourite one on here. Because, wow, yeah, that is how it is
pretty isn't pretty - i can't rate this/10. GOD, I love it when she talks about insecurities. And don't think I don't see that skipping lunch line. It's sp hard to articulate how this song makes me feel. Especially since I've been low key comparing myself to her, even though we have entirely different bodies and faces. It's nice to know she also struggles with this. And she's right, you could do literally anything to change your appearance and you'd still be unhappy
teenage dream - 100000/10. "Is it recording? Of course it is.", the way I gasped. Okay, I love the interpretation of it ending with a child to be about growing up and childhood innocence. But the line she says?? Especially combined with the meaning of the song it feels a lot like it's about taking away youth by recording it and putting it out there just like she was supposed to be everyone's teenage dream as a child actor and young musician. This feels so personal to her while also being relatable to others. I'm 19 too, Olivia and I are born in the same year. And this is exactly how I feel about growing up. I hope it gets better, my teenage years were crap, I'm tired of being young, but it's also the only thing I can hold onto. I'm honestly terrified of turning 20. But hey, Olivia did it, so... it'll get better, right?
#i should probably stop trying to give songs numbers#they're all perfect to me#or2#olivia rodrigo#guts olivia rodrigo#or
591 notes
·
View notes
Text
My dear lgbt+ kids,
I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.
Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.
Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).
What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?
Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.
I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?
We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!
I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.
You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
362 notes
·
View notes
Text
johnnie x reader
new years angst (18+)
PSA: the johnnie i'm going to write about is the fictional version we all have in our minds, we truly don't know how he actually is and it's good to make a balance to avoid any uneasy or parasocial feelings when writing about a real person.
it had been a very long night for everyone, new years party's obviously only actually get started at 12 so the night only truly ends early hours of the morning. johnnie was fast asleep on his bed, the sheets unmade as he lay on top in the full clothes from night before. as he lifted his head he felt all the drinking all the smoking all the talking from the night before rush straight to his head, like a heavy boulder he has to now carry for the next 12 hours. this isn't anything new to him but that doesn't make it any more fun to deal with.
he gets up and looks at himself in his mirror, scrunching his face as he notices how he still had his makeup on, though completely different from the way it had spread all across his face messily from lying on it. he turns on the tap and splashes himself with the cold water, waking him up but also somehow making his migraine worse.
as he starts getting changed into something comfortable he starts remembering the events from the night before, as if in pieces he has to puzzle together.
one thing that remains the most prominent in his memory is the countdown for midnight, he was excited. he had a plan. he wore his best outfit and put contour and primer on his face to make that days makeup extra fancy(he never really does that). he had been anticipating this moment the whole night, his eyes darted around looking for something specific. he squeezed past a few people pushing one slightly too hard making him have to awkwardly apologize which he hated doing. but at that moment it didn't phase him and neither did the flashing lights and the aggressive music playing a bit too loudly in the background. his mind was focused on one thing only. you
his plan was that at the moment it hit 12 he would kiss you, in his mind he decided this would be the best option since if you weren't into it he could pull it off saying it was a friend thing. he was absolutely too nervous to actually just ask you out since he personally feels you are quite out of his league. he hoped this would spark something between the two of you. so that he no longer has to look away when you laugh at his jokes because of the prominent blush that would always come up on his pale skin, or the way he had to hide his enthusiasm when you were around. he was absolutely infatuated with you.
who did you think zombie was about?
but as he finally caught his eye on you with seconds to spare he started jogging towards you but as he was about to approach you, you turn to jake cupping his face and leaning in for a deep kiss. he saw the way you smiled as jake held onto your waist. the way your kiss lasted longer than the others around the room. suddenly he jolted out of his mind as he hears a knock on his bathroom door.
fuck. he thinks to himself as he puts his hand sloppily through his hair in attempt to neaten it. "yes?" he says, still sounding half asleep.
"can I talk to you" you say, wait. you say? johnnie is confused. you don't live here, he just shares this place with jake..
fuck
he bites his lip before answering, "yeah uh just- just gimmie a min I just got up". " oh ok no problem! I'll be in the living room, take your time alright?" you say, he waits for your foot steps to sound lighter before he leans against the door and slides down to the floor, hands in his hair he curses. curses how he could so easily give someone his heart and so easily let them tear it apart, even without them knowing they did. love was fucked and he was tired and his migraine was getting worse and he just wanted everything to disappear, but as much as he would love to lock himself in the bathroom forever he was also curious what you had to say to him.
around 10 minutes later he emerges from the bathroom still rubbing his towel around his wet hair from his shower, he walks into the living room to see you scrolling on your phone and his heart immediately starts aching. before you noticed he was there he took full advantage of being able to admire you, you had no makeup on which johnnie had never seen before, but god you might look even better without it.
he admired the way your hair was slightly messed up and the way you were still in the clothes from the night before, that tight black dress that has a low v neck showing off your breasts which he realized he was obsessed with, even in a normal setting you made it work.
"so what's up?" he asks sitting down next to you on the couch. "wait first before anything can i ask you a massive favour..", "hit me" he says with a half smile, "well as u can see im still sorta in my dress from last night uh.. i maybe slept over here last night and my place is pretty far and i have a splitting headache, would it be cool if i stay at your guys place tonight too?"
"oh sure no problem we don't mind! but what about your clothes? im guessing u didn't pack any extra in that handbag of yours." you shuffle in your seat feeling a lil embarrassed, "that's my second favour.. could i borrow some of yours? well uhm not yours specifically but your the only one awake at the moment and i dont wana wake poor jake"
johnnie got a bit red imagining you in his clothes, but nonetheless lent you one of his hoodies and sweats which fit you perfectly. as you were getting changed he couldn't help when his mind slipped to the fact you never wore a bra with that dress, meaning you would be wearing one of his hoodies completely bra-less which turned him on much more than he would have hoped for, especially since the two of you agreed to go get something to eat after you get changed.
the car ride was very silent and it was freaking johnnie out a little, once you two have ordered your food and are started waiting you decide to break the silence, "if im being real, i got wayy too blasted last night like i honestly don't even remember talking to you.. at one point i wasn't even sure if you were there, but saying that i barely remember anyone i spoke to haha". johnnie lets out a small laugh, "dont worry abt not seeing me, im not a party guy i always end up lurking in the shadows like a vampire instead of making conversation." you turn your head to the window looking out at the sun as it melts like honey into the blue sky as it sets.
the two of you ended up eating in the car because you guys were so hungry. as you guys made it back inside the house you see jake facetiming someone on his phone, you sneak up behind him and shove him a little while going "BAH", which made him jump like a cartoon character. "fuck you y/n im on a call" "not my fault your a scaredy cat", "dude that's just wrong im braver than u and johnnie combined okay" you guys laugh and jake takes his call to his room, leaving you and johnnie alone again.
"i like how he didn't ask why im still here" you ask slumping onto the nearest couch. "i think you scared him too much that he stopped thinking for a sec" he said plonking himself next to you.
"you down to watch a movie?" you ask, "sure sounds good! i mean what else is there to do anyways". "perfect ill choose kay!! since im the guest i get privileges heh", "whatever makes u happy miss y/n" he says giving a genuine smile which made your heart race slightly.
the movie dragged on for johnnie, not that it was a bad movie but for the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about how close you guys sat next to each other, plus the way you were still wearing his clothes and how absolutely gorgeous you looked in them. all of a sudden you turned towards johnnie as he was staring at you by accident, the two of you sat there in silence for a little before you broke it
"uh johnnie can i be honest with you", "sure y/n, what's up". "well let me get straight to the point, by the time it hit new years.. did you see who i kissed?" johnnie tilted his head in confusion, "you kissed jake.. don't you remember?". "honestly i don't remember anything past 11pm.. when i said i was blasted i really meant blasted. well the reason im asking is because there was someone specific i wanted to kiss"
"oh really? and who was that". "it uhm was you"
johnnie felt his face start heating up and without thinking he immediately pulled your face in for a deep kiss, "johnnie.." you whisper as the kiss ended, his hands still on your face and the two of you close enough to where you could see all the pores on face and feel his cool breath against your lips.
he doesn't respond, even the kiss took him off guard and he initiated it! he realized that you reciprocated his kiss and that gave him enough motivation to lean in for another, this one was more sloppy and more intense. you two wanted each other badly and it was visible, as some tongue was slipped you climbed on top of johnnie and felt his bulge already from his thin pants. that turned you on even more and you accidentally let out a small moan.
you started to feel johnnies hands gently hold your waist from under the hoodie, you started to get a tingly feeling as he gently graced his hands higher and higher till he reached your boobs, he let out a small whimper as he gripped and played your breasts. you take your hands from his neck and instead use them to take off the hoodie itself giving him a full view of your boobs now making him gasp mid kiss.
you start grinding on him gently while taking his shirt off, once its off you slowly get off of him and pull down his pants, "are you sure?" he said shakily as he sat more forward on the couch preparing for what's coming, "you don't know how long I've wanted to do this, yes baby i'm sure" you say which made him go even redder and before you get on your knees you see him biting down an excited smile.
as you pull his boxers down you take your hand and gently rub it back and forth before taking your tongue and starting right at the base, giving a mix of wet kisses and licks as you slowly go higher and higher. when you finally get to the tip you hear a small whimper and you feel the top of your hair being grabbed desperately, you slowly put the tip fully inside your mouth moving it gently back and forth and going faster and faster deeper and deeper making his member twitch inside of his mouth and as you start hearing him moan deeply you realize he has already hit his climax and ends up finishing inside your mouth. when he was done you take your mouth off with a plop and immediately go back up to johnnies absolutely flustered face, you have never seen him look so submissive.
without hesitation you kiss him with his cum still inside your mouth, making a mess as it spills onto both of your chests.
johnnie sighs in delight "fuck y/n how did you do that" -when he knew exactly how :)
❣
#johnnie guilbert#jake and johnnie#johnnie guilbert x reader#fanfic#x reader#jake webber#johnnie guilbert smut#smut
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 || 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎’𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
part one || part two: so many signs
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ When Miguel fell so hard for an anomaly that ended up being another one of his canon events; a soulmate. Only that it was late, very late.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ fluff, angst?, reader is a hot Hispanic sunshine, plot twist at the end, age gap? (How old is Miguel?, like 28, early 30's?, reader is like 20 not specified) I'm 19, so in my head reader is 20, fuck it <3.
𝐀𝐍_ hellooo, this is my Ist fic for this fandom, I've been trying to hide this crush for weeks, I can't anymore.
♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙏 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙟𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖.
<3,𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙭 (+fics)
_________________
[11 months before the events of SPIDER-MAN: ATSV]…
Nothing is perfect; nothing can be that special. But somehow, you ended up being that, at least almost.
Because this is how everything starts; you were stressing out for college sophomore year finals when in the middle of your room, a portal opened and absorbed you.
Sounds incredibly ridiculous and cringe… Right?. Sorry, but it’s about to get worse.
The portal only left you there, hanging between random universes, and out of nowhere, a spider bit you. And seconds later, you were back at home stressing over the finals.
Yeah, you didn’t think it would be a problem, only that it increased your phobia of spiders. Later, you accepted that Los Angeles would have an arachnid vigilante.
Yeah, Los Angeles. No shit, you wouldn’t fly to save New York in your universe just to fit the stereotype. Besides, they already had one, the most significant and original anomaly, Miles Morales.
That’s for later, by the way.
You had your suspicions that the multiverse existed but no curiosity. You only cared about your sacred California and, to be more specific, your friends and family.
So it goes; you were a sparkly spider-girl with glitter webs and fantastic hair, saving people from the crime on Skid Row, abusive elites in Downtown, corruption in Glendale, and extortions from Santa Clarita.
Your family knew about it, and your friends too. They helped to pick out your surname; Aragmatica.
So you had everything; no pressure from being the spider-girl Aragmatica, wonderful friends, and family. A transcription remote job and a firm college pathway to be a writer and teacher.
Except for one thing; love.
You didn’t have anyone to hold, anyone who made you laugh like never. Someone who made you feel the scarlet blush and raced heartbeats.
Nah, fuck that. You don’t need a man.
________
Warm day in Hollywood Hills, 12:00 pm.
Finally, your official transcript from that year was carefully sealed in an envelope. Summer break was yours, starting with a good ballet class.
Your spider senses weren’t fully developed because you never saw 4 pair of eyes watching you.
The class was fun, though. All the music was from the most famous plays, and having the opportunity to wear a tutu was always accepted.
You didn’t care coming out of the building wearing it after the friendly teacher gifted you the fluffy piece of clothing.
You also didn’t care to sing slightly aloud as you walked towards your car.
And that’s when 4 individuals interfered with your way; Peter B. Parker, Hobie Brown, and Gwen Stacy.
“Uh… nice cosplays. But the Comic-Con is more to the south. In San Diego…” They looked at each other. Only the older guy stepped further, laughing.
“Oh, you’re funny. There’s also one in my universe, but it’s celebrated in Coney Island and-“ only that Gwen pinched him. The older man frowned.
“She’s leaving, Peter,” Gwen said.
“Hey! Wait!” Peter stopped you from closing your car door, and you looked more confused than ever.
“Dude, back off. There’s a kid between us. You don’t want to do this…” Hobie giggled. He had remained leaning against a mailbox during the whole interaction.
“What? No-, I-. We need to talk to you… we’re also spider people” Rolling your eyes, you just rested your head on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, your suits are too good to cosplay. I like your pointe shoes though” Gwen blushed but said thank you for your flattery.
“I’m Peter Parker. The guy with the cool outfit that’s Hobie Brown. And the girl with the pointe shoes you liked is Gwen Stacy” They looked lovely. Hobie and Gwen, probably your age, but you were running late for dinner. You had to drop the transcript for validation in early registration for a master's program.
You didn’t have time for this Have you heard of the Avengers initiative? moment.
The best you could do was politely turn them down. But they were already inside your car.
“Hey!. Okay, if this is some spider intervention, I don’t have time to travel between universes and that stuff” Hobie started playing your radio. Again, you rolled your eyes.
“This is good music, girl. Nice…” he said, making you smile a little. He seemed nicer.
“Thanks, but…” Then Gwen interrupted you.
“You could be dangerous or cause a massive disaster for the canon. You are a rare case between spiders” For the first time, you were quiet. Maybe that omen was this, that not everything could be perfect.
“You felt it….” Peter said because your silence was loud enough to tell him.
“You knew about us then?”
“The multiverse and variations are not a thrill in this universe. I wasn’t expecting this on a random Friday afternoon,” you explained.
“Our boss wants to meet you. We need to know what type of anomaly you are” They all heard you sighing. You had too many questions but were tired, so you wouldn’t be annoying.
“Okay.” Peter shrugged in disbelief.
“That’s it?. No questions?” Gwen passed you a blue band, probably to travel between universes.
“She’s not energetic nor annoying. Miguel will like her,” Hobie stated, comfortable in the passenger seat.
“Just don’t smile too much, avoid questions, and you’ll be fine” Humming in agreement, you waited.
A portal of bright colors and blinding flashes appeared seconds later from your car's windshield. It was different from what you expected. In the movies looked easier.
“Okay, here we go…” Peter announced. And with fast blood pressure, you followed them.
The first thing you felt was the urge to complain on the ground. Laying on your stomach, with your hair in a now disheveled bun.
Everyone turned to look at you, finally noticing you were wearing a tutu and leotard in grey and black colors.
“Lost your hoodie?” Gwen asked, being the first to start giggling, followed by the others.
“Could any of you have alerted me to prepare for this type of landing?” You asked anyone in particular. Then you analyzed Gwen’s question.
“MY hoodie!. Damnit, it was new!” And that’s how you lost 75 dollars. But soon, you stopped thinking about the new tour merch you lost.
It was a bright earth, futuristic and agitated. And as soon as you entered the giant building, you noticed it was full of spider people.
From any size to any color, but… no one was similar to you. Well, you didn’t have a suit yet, but… you couldn’t feel a spider sense with anyone.
“Surprised?” Gwen asked, walking by your side.
“Well. I’d rather say disturbed,” she giggled.
“You’re unlike any spider I’ve met,” the blonde added.
“I can’t be special. I must be the most boring spider-girl….” Bored or not, you were missing dinner. Your family would be worried if you didn’t come back past midnight. Hopefully, your first interaction with another universe will be quick.
“That’s why you must be here…” said a new voice.
A pregnant spider-woman?. Could you feel any weirder?.
“Yeah…I’m y/n. No suit yet, but I have the name of Aragmatica” She nodded. Her yellow glasses were very cool, you liked her look in general.
“We know that. But let’s go. Miguel needs to see you….” and officially, that was the beginning of everything.
The HQ was futuristic, wide and full of people. Everything was so weird that edged being ridiculous. Until, the group of spiders lead you to a dark room. Full of technology and chemistry stuff.
For the first time, you felt a tingle when he finally faced you; Miguel O’Hara. And to be honest, his broad and tall figure intimidated you.
He said you were a bizarre anomaly. You were the only spider person who had been bitten between universes. Meaning that you were an accident, nobody was like you.
Unconsciously, your own canon was building up as every day passed. So your actions were vital for everyone.
He offered you a place in the group to keep order among universes. Suspicious, but seemed honest at the same time.
“I appreciate the offer, but I have a degree to finish. And I got enrolled for summer ballet classes….” you said, ambling towards the exit.
“No. You need to be a responsible spider girl and do what you’re expected to do,” the man said, intimidating you more as he towered you. Beside getting lost in his amazing hair, intriguing brown eyes and sharp jaw, your thoughts were running. Maybe you were being selfish. Most of the people in the room had lost a lot. You didn’t.
“You just said I’m an accident. There are no expectations from me. I can’t break canon. I’m making my own….” you dared to say, avoiding looking into his brown eyes.
“You want to find out?” a little closer, and you would touch his chest. Besides, the tingle was back. Miguel also felt it, but he called it on you being angered by this new phase you would enter.
You knew he was going to be hard to deal with. But deep inside, you liked the feeling he had planted on your stomach.
“No…” you admitted. Slightly afraid of losing what you had. He smiled but for less than a second.
“That’s what I thought” After that, it was history.
________
Two months. And things were… okay.
You made a great friendship with Peter and Hobie. Something inside you was stopping you from trusting Gwen at all.
Then, Jessica was good but slightly challenging. Even Pavitr was good.
And then, it was Miguel.
Fucking Miguel O’Hara. He was dead serious every time. Still, you refused to show he could intimidate you.
Like right now, or… at that moment, whatever.
“He’s going to kill you…” Lyla whispered, moving in circles around you.
“He won’t if someone no va de chismosa,” she frowned.
“He’s going to kill us both, y/n,” she almost yelled. Following you to the briefing of a new case.
“He can’t kill you, Lyla. Be serious…” you stated, shrugging.
“I don’t want to know…”
“Me neither. So just shush….” The room was almost empty. Only Peter, Hobie, and Jessica were inside.
The sound of the door captured everyone’s attention. Miguel sighed. After that, he stopped talking.
“You’re late….” Of course, he would remark on your irresponsibility.
“Traffic on Venice. What can I say, handsome?” he rolled his eyes and indicated you sit down.
Earth-238, neon venom, evacuated civilians, blah blah blah. The mission would be easy, and you’d be leaving the room.
“not you, y/n….” Miguel’s voice caught you off guard. When you turned around, Lyla was still whispering to him.
“Bitch…” you whispered.
“Hey, I’ll wait for you,” Hobie said, indicating that he would wait outside the room.
You nodded at him, smiling as he left.
“Why did you send the evidence of last week’s mission to Jessica instead of me?” He asked, arms crossed.
“She’s also my boss,” you admitted, avoiding his judgemental brows and gaze.
“I’m in charge. She’s second in command. So?…” you pinched your nose, anxiety creeping over.
“I-…” It was useless; you had to be honest.
“Because uh-, I didn’t want you to see the anomaly recording” he was right. He knew you would be afraid of his reaction. Something inside switched to be softer.
“I almost killed that girl. It was an accident, but… I can’t control this new ability. And I want to do a good job” Your anxiety was evident. Miguel had to suppress a smile.
“You have a big responsibility on your shoulders. The power to retain or doom canon” a lecture was coming. And you wished he wore his mask because you could see his whole features. Making it prone to capture any negativity from him.
“And that’s why you must be on missions with me, not Jessica. I’m training you, not her” To be honest, you were surprised.
“You make me nervous all the time. I’m afraid I’ll make something stupid on any of these days, and you’ll send me home” He kind of chuckled, and it made you beyond surprised.
“I thought you were working on the English degree and summer ballet classes.”
“You remember it?” Could your heart beat any faster?. His eyes were deep-fixed on yours, and it was killing you in a good way.
“Madre mía, stop giving me that look. I’m gonna piss myself off from nervousness.”
“Don’t be that of a perfectionist. You’re doing good, kid” The pat on your shoulder made you explode.
Right there, you knew it was over. You had a crush on Miguel O’Hara.
____________________
Was it possible to see everything in pink shades and heart sprinkles? That’s how you were looking at every universe. You were starting your lover era.
“PETER! PETER!” You yelled, running towards the man, heading out of the cafeteria. Most spider people on the headquarters looked at you, but you didn’t care.
“Woah, calm down, girl,” he said with a smile.
“I need to tell you something” he couldn’t describe your excitement but happily took your hand when you pushed him inside an empty conference room.
“I have a crush on Miguel,” you said with an evident blush.
“YOU WHAT?” He asked yelling.
“I know, I know. But… he’s so sweet to me. He said I shouldn’t be nervous about him and that I was doing good. He remembers my career and that I’m doing ballet classes. Oh, and today he opened the door for me TWICE!” You explain excited, pinching your suit, in pearl and iridescent tones with a sparkly spider resting on your chest.
“This is insane. Are you insane, y/n?. We’re talking about Miguel. Our grumpy and snarky boss that gets stressed over the tiniest detail and doesn’t know how to smile” You nodded, rolling your eyes.
“It’s not like he’s the love of my life or destiny, Peter. It’s just a crush….” you tried to convince yourself.
“No, no, no. I disapprove of this. Isn’t he a little older for you?” You sighed.
“Oh, c’mon. MJ is younger than you, Mr. No age gap”
“This is serious, y/n. I’ve known Miguel for a long time. You know what happened to him. I don’t think he’s emotionally ready for this” he was right. But you were confident that this crush wouldn’t be a big issue.
“I know. The least I want to do is hurt him. But once again, it’s just a crush, Peter,” you started coming out of the room. And, like a big coincidence, Miguel was walking through the hallway with Lyla talking to him.
“Hey, is it okay if I go to your office at lunchtime?” you asked the broad man once he was walking near you. He had his mask, that if you stared too long, it was a severe and scary gaze, but he nodded once. Neither you nor Peter noticed Miguel was actually looking at you. Causing him to feel a weird pricking.
“Sure,” with that, he left with the female IA giving you a bad look.
“What?” Peter asked in disbelief once again.
“See? Nothing to worry about, love,” you said,
_____________
“Don’t be so late, mija. There’s no crime tonight for you to take that long,” your grandma told you from the kitchen. You entered the room being greeted by the smell of mole and ponche.
“With this food waiting for me. Yeah, sure, the city can rest a night without me, abuelita,” she giggled as you kissed her cheek.
“I’m just going for a stretch. And maybe a flan for dinner” Your favorite part of the day was starting. So happily, you left the house. AirPods on with your favorite music blasting through them, and it felt like heaven.
Swinging from palm to buildings and watching the crowds of the traffic of LA. Until you were in the Fashion District Downtown. You stopped at your favorite rooftop to see the last minutes of the West Coast sunset.
And it was beautiful. Orange, pink, yellow, purple, blue, and black. Like a firework evaporated in the sky.
The air feels perfect for taking a long breath, and you feel thankful for having a good day.
“Hey..” you nearly fell from the building, but a well-known bright red web caught you in time.
When you turned around, you had Miguel watching you.
“Miguel?. What are you doing here?” The surprise and shock were eating you alive. Maybe an emergency happened, or he exiled you from the Spider Society. Who knows?
“Just checking on you…” lately, he had been more close to you. Giving you a hand on missions, being willing to have more extended conversations, and softer pieces of advice.
“Why?” You ask, arching a brow.
“Last week, you were a little slow…” he hears you giggling, and as he walks closer, he sees you hanging your toes on the edge. He sees your hair freely fly as you laugh. Cute, he thinks.
“I was on my period. We’re good now…” he thanked, wearing the mask because his cheeks were burning.
“Don’t be silly, Miguel. It’s… normal,” you said after he stood there quietly.
“Come, seat with me…” he obeyed, establishing some distance with you, but not too much.
Then he removed his mask, and you confirmed that his hair always looked gorgeous.
“Your universe is interesting,” he said finally.
“We are very fixed; little surprises us. And capitalism is leading us to ruin, but yes... it's interesting” Miguel wasn’t expecting that answer but smiled. Only because you didn’t catch it.
“You are spending too much time with Hobie,” you laughed, nodding.
“Yeah, I’ll take that…” This time, you noticed his smile. And you wanted to keep the moment a little longer.
“Can we talk?”
“We are talking, y/n…” he let out a brief chuckle again.
“No, I know, but…I’m afraid. Of hurting someone in the process of creating a disaster with all of this being an anomaly” For weeks, you tried to avoid the thoughts of insecurity. But this was a good moment because Miguel had been training you, and he was the right and worst person to talk about this.
“And it frustrates me that I don’t understand at all what I am….” you said, covering your face, letting all the intrusive thoughts out. Because even on a good day, anxiety could sneak in.
“Being a spider person means being afraid of many things. Keep in mind that you’ll constantly worry, but it’s part of the job. You don’t sign for it; it just hits you” his words were profound. Enough to soothe some of your panics.
“I wish I could be straight to the point like you….” Miguel was urged to touch your hand or strands of hair that brushed his forearm. But he resisted, only looking at your profile.
“No. It’s good to be honest and worry too.”
“And you’re something bigger than an anomaly. You’re special” Maybe his tone made everything sound softer.
“Well, I don’t feel special,” you admitted. “I feel like an accident. Not meant to be here, but nothing else to do.”
“You don’t need to feel it. I just see it…” when you turned to look at him, it was his soft look that made you realize, you were falling in love with him.
As your smile grew, Miguel completely ignored any thought of fear. He was just feeling, letting his heart warm and reciprocate your smile.
“You have to come and have dinner with my family and me,” you blurted excitedly.
“No.”
“SI!.”
“Por Dios. No, y/n!” He said, rolling his eyes.
“They’re not annoying or nosy, I promise,” you pleaded. He knew there was no problem because they knew you were a spider girl and the Spider Society. But… Mexican families could be nosy when a girl arrived home with a man.
“Please, as a thank you for listening to my bullshit. Por favor, ándale. Di que sí…” he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to reject you.
“Está bien, pues….”
He smiled again, watching you celebrate as you started balancing between buildings. Soon he followed you, happy to feel the way he was doing.
________________________
The shock on everyone’s faces only increased the more you talked.
Pavitr, Gwen, Hobie, and Peter had their mouths open.
“And then, we went to get a flan for dinner. A kid asked for a selfie with us, and it was so silly,” you narrated.
“When we arrived home, he was so sweet. Only speaking Spanish, and he told mi abuelita I was doing great in job” Peter decided it was time to cover his mouth with one hand. Soon, everyone followed, keeping the shock.
“Dad was slightly judgmental but soon changed his mind because Miguel accepted a beer from him.”
“Oh, and we spent hours in my room” That was enough for Peter.
“WHAT?… EXCUSE ME?”
“NO, PETER!. Jesus… we spent hours in my room because I was explaining to him some of my analysis from literature classes” The color returned to his face. Nodded understanding, and everyone else laughed.
“I can’t believe this. I simply can’t…” Pavitr confessed. “Love can come in strange ways…”
“Who’s talking of love, Pavitr?” Hobie asked playfully.
“Well…” you whispered.
“What else?” Gwen almost jumped, needing to know more. You were starting to like her more.
Once again, both of you were back on a rooftop. It was almost 2:00am.
“I-, I liked this…” Miguel managed to say. Looking down at you, trying to regain his neutral and serious tone and look. But after spending hours with you, it seemed impossible.
“Me too. You were so sweet, and thank you for being so comprehensive” Your excitement didn’t match your words, not that Miguel cared. But he realized you had jumped and grabbed both of his hands. And before you pulled away, he was caressing your knuckles.
“It was nothing…”
“Are you coming tomorrow?” He asked.
“I think I stopped being a half-time employee some time ago…” he nodded, smiling.
“True.”
Hands were still holding. And none of you wanted to break the touch.
“Till tomorrow then….” you said, sad to break the touch but happy for everything that happened that night.
And with that, you saw Miguel opening a portal, and you left.
You accidentally dropped a notebook when you entered your room through the window. Cursing between whispers, you hoped you didn’t wake up your family.
“Te dió un beso?” your grandma asked, opening your room door. You smiled deeply.
“No. But we hold hands for a long time, abuelita.”
“Creo que lo amo….” you admitted, very afraid.
“I think he loves you too,” she said.
“NO - FUCKING - WAY!” Gwen yelled.
“Are you sure you weren’t dreaming of drunk?”
“No, Peter. I only drink in Mexico, and I had a dream of the last episode of The haunting of Hill House I watched” he snorted as if he had heard something incredible. Gwen couldn’t stop taking time to digest the information, Pavitr too, and Hobie was… being Hobie.
“Dude looks nice with her. I heard him laugh the other day,” Hobie stated.
“Me too. And he canceled a meeting to go and train her,” Pavitr added.
“He’s, like, the last person I imagined you would say you had a date with.”
“It wasn’t a date….” you said.
“IT WASN’T A DATE?. Girl, he had dinner with your family, listened to your boring old books for hours, and held your hands for… five or eight minutes?”
“Okay… maybe it unconsciously turned into a date.” They all nodded. Even Mayday seemed to nod.
“Oh, my god… Was it a date?”
_______________________
Peter sighed as he watched you laugh with Hobie.
“… y/n is very happy. Did you two have fun last night?” He asked Miguel once he entered his office.
“I’m not discussing this with you,” the broad man approached to say.
Peter loved you like a sister. He wanted you to be happy and safe.
He trusted Miguel after years of knowing each other. But he wasn’t sure if you two had a bright future.
“I don’t want to discuss this with you either.”
“So?”
“Look, she’s like Mayday’s aunt. I want her to be happy. And you too, man. But… I want you to think… Is it correct?” Miguel stopped looking at the screens.
“We can’t lose her. And I don’t want to see another era of pain and collapse” It hit him.
What was he thinking? Letting all of his feelings take over him. He couldn’t be in love; it wasn’t meant for him.
Your canon was unsure, delicate. And his… was doomed.
He imagined having to see you gone, and he wasn’t ready to find out.
He wasn’t ready to go through that pain again.
“Just think… because maybe it’s meant to be, but-“
“No. You’re right…” Miguel accepted.
Peter grew quiet.
“After y/n leaves tonight. Call the others, except Hobie…”
Miguel made a decision. Losing you was going to save both of you. Or so he thought.
_____
Weird.
The cafeteria was quiet.
Then a piece of your suit ripped off.
And spider-cat was absent!!!
Then, you didn’t see Miguel the day before. When you asked Lyla, she said he was swamped with his job, so you would not make him stressed. Plus, having some space after spending the night together would be great.
“Hey!” You called Hobie when he sat next to you on a bench. He was used to visiting you in your universe. He liked the food and how the people complained about something new daily.
“Something feels weird,” he blurted, tilting his head.
“RIGHT?. I thought I was the only one” he nodded and sighed. That was also weird; Hobie never hesitated to spit the words out.
“What?”
“Yesterday. After you left, Peter called everyone except for me. It seemed weird that just as you left, he called everyone to get a lecture from Miguel,” Another weird thing. Why you and Hobie would be excluded?
“Miguel stopped wasting his time with me, But a meeting without you?” Maybe it wasn’t anything. Perhaps a simple meeting. There had been some occasions where you had not been present.
“Do you wanna go and find why?” you asked playfully. He nodded with a gentle smile.
“Hell yeah…” Both of you left in seconds.
Spending time with Spider-punk was always fun. Hobie made you remember things like; fuck it, just do it.
And he liked spending time with you because of your honesty.
But for the first hour, you didn’t find anyone. Even when the headquarters of the Spider Society were big, you thought it would have been easier.
By the evening, you find yourself eating an empanada, thinking of Miguel. Accepting you started missing him.
“Guys!…” Gwen called you and Hobie. As she walked towards you two, Hobie said something quick.
“Don’t ask anything yet…” you nodded to him.
“We were busy getting scolded by Miguel. But there’s a new mission we need to go to. And he wants all, let’s go….” The punk man and you exchanged looks, not buying Gwen’s words.
You got too carried away, forming possible explanations for her weird behavior. Why you hadn’t seen your friends the day before?. And why you and Hobie were excluded from the last meeting?.
You didn’t even look at Pavitr taking Hobie away.
As soon as you entered the room, Jessica, Peter, and Miguel were inside.
“Where’s Hobie?” He asked.
“He was right here…” Gwen mumbled, looking around, making Miguel sigh tired.
He didn't look at you for the first minutes of the debriefing. The more he ignored your presence, the more your questions emerged.
“Everyone get ready… except for y/n,” he announced with his neutral and cold face.
“Why?”
“You’re going home.”
“WHAT?” you screamed.
At the end of the day, Miguel wasn’t ready for this. But he was doing his best, even if it meant lying to you.
“Your canon is changing, constantly glitching. We can’t risk anything happening. I’m sending you home…” he explained like nothing.
“No, please. You have to stop seeing me as a danger. Look at me as your talisman, like a ghost in the multiverses. If it was something bad, it would’ve happened already” he kept looking straight at the doors, not even moving.
It hurt you that he was still unsure of you, especially after everything he said in your home.
“It’s for the best.”
“Can we talk… In private?” You whispered, taking his forearm. He slowly moved away, making you feel the pain grow.
“There’s nothing to talk about”
“Oh really?. I think we do. What about the other day?”
“It was. All this time, it was. It wasn’t a coincidence that you appeared after someone tried opening portals in your earth,” you gasped in shock.
“I did it for the Spider Society. I needed to know you were not a threat.”
“You said I was special…” he managed to hear you whisper. And it was tearing him.
“You are. But a potential danger too. Which is why I’m sending you home…” you shake your head, fighting the tears rapidly forming in your eyes.
“All of you knew about this?” You asked, looking at Peter, Gwen, and Jessica.
The pregnant woman bowed her head while Gwen looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t.
“We do this because we care for and want to protect you…”
“Really? This is not what friends do. All you do is lie and lie to me!” you said with a broken voice.
“I’m sorry,” Miguel admitted looking down.
“GOD, STOP LYING” you yelled.
“Tell me I meant nothing to you. Or admit you might be scared of the possibility of falling in love with me….”
“You meant nothing to me. It was all a lie” he broke you. You swore you heard your heart decreasing its heartbeats.
“For one minute, I thought you… loved me back” As he stood there quietly, you started crying.
To everyone’s shock, it was the first time they saw you crying. Gwen tried to reach you, but you stepped back, moving away from all of them.
At the same time, Pavitr and Hobie entered the room.
“Something weird happened. You might want to see this, boss,” Pavitr announced.
“It was dope….” Hobie admitted leaning on the door frame. But stood quiet after watching you crying.
The moment turned uneasy, debating whether to go or stay with you.
“Please, let’s go, and then we’ll talk with tranquility about this,” Peter told you. Giving a look that he wasn’t happy with seeing you cry.
Slowly, you followed them. Ignoring Miguel’s look.
Then you thought, What was the point of following them? If they would send you home after that?.
Anger wasn’t a good feeling, but it was blinding you. All the fantastic facade they sold you of good friends. The months Miguel lied to you. He could have done it differently. But he even dared to agree to have dinner with your family.
He held your hands and made you believe there was a chance.
So you stopped following them and turned to the lower plant of the building.
___________
Your web was tiny, like a baby’s. It glitched a lot, but when Miguel entered with the others, he noticed the glitch was even more aggressive than ever.
There were only two canon moments; you getting bit and joining the Spider Society. But a new one was forming. And from the shiny dot, a new line grew.
“What the hell?” Peter asked in disbelief.
The line started moving until it was connected to another: Miguel’s.
And from that connection, a new canon event was officially established.
You and Miguel were together. Dramatically holding hands and facing each other.
“Holy sh-” Gwen almost said but couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Does this mean…” Jessica started.
“She’s part of your canon,” Peter confirmed.
Miguel was in shock; his eyes remained on what the model displayed. You were really meant for him. He hadn’t need to worry about it ending in disaster. Still, it didn’t soothe him.
“Uh-boss? Our pretty little y/n started a countdown to return home and temporarily block the entrance to her earth,” Lyla announced, appearing beside Miguel. He turned to look at her, worried.
“What?”
“I tried stopping her, but I believe she’s growing her cosmic powers?” the day couldn’t get more complicated for Spider-Man 2099.
“Cosmic powers?” Peter asked, running when Miguel started heading towards the exit.
Lyla, crossed her arms looking at everyone starting running. She couldn’t admit it to anyone. That if your issue wasn’t fixed, something darker could happen. The AI couldn’t throw salt in Miguel’s wound.
“Jessica, send help. Lyla, stop her,” he demanded. Jessica nodded, and Lyla disappeared.
“There’s no spider with cosmic powers. But y/n was a bit between universes. So maybe she has some of them or….”
“Peter shut up!. I just can’t lose her!” If you were Miguel’s destiny, he would do things right. And he regretted setting up all of the secret meetings and lies.
He rushed to get to you faster than anyone. He wasn’t even sure the blocking earth thing worked.
Maybe he was exaggerating, but he was willing to set the alarms so everyone would try to stop him.
If he had waited a day, none of this would’ve happened. But he had understood once that things happened for a reason; canon.
So as fast as he was running, something inside told him it was already late.
Peter and Gwen followed close to him, ready to find you prepared to leave.
The panic finally settled when they entered the dark room, and you were already behind the colorful barrier.
“NO!. Please, y/n” You turned to hear Miguel’s voice calling you.
Your look was empty, but the anger was there. He kept calling for you, but you didn’t say a word.
All of you wanted was to leave. Sleep and forget you were a spider girl. Ease the pain of your broken heart. And accept that no matter if you were the only variant of yourself in all the universes, you were meant to end up without love.
Because when he had you face to face, you were gone.
Confused, you appeared on a random street in Downtown LA. Your suit was ripped, your hair was a mess, and the tears didn’t seem to stop. A wave of cold air hit you, making you shiver and hug yourself.
Feeling broken and in shock, you found yourself stepping on a broken glass bottle. Your left foot instantly started bleeding, making you fall to your knees.
That’s when you no longer held the tears; you just let all the sobs take over.
You shouldn’t have accepted to join the Spider Society; you shouldn’t have pushed your crush for Miguel.
I hate this. I hate this. God, I hate this…
With no more strength, you stood up. And tottering, you started walking towards home.
It was okay; it would be okay.
________________________
Cringe in general? Maybe… part two?
#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara angst#spiderman 2099#atsv#peter b parker#miguel o’hara imagine#accross the spiderverse#miguel o’hara
733 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wkfndjfske I FORGOT KATARA BULLIES TOPH ABOUT BEING BLIND. Like I know she's a problematic icon and a complex character who undergoes a lot of growth but I truly genuinely did forget that she was also a fourteen year old girl who Toph called sugar queen for very good reason. The specifics fade into the background after so many years and so many of her worse moments are because she is acutely hurt and defensive and also a teenager. Whereas this is just her being a teenager and lashing out because of being socially insecure, which isn't usually her wheelhouse. I'm constantly impressed by how well written she is!!!!
i know right!!!!! i love katara so much (duh) bc she's like the most realistically-written fourteen year old girl of all time. and it's so funny to me how people who refuse to acknowledge that she has flaws (despite the fact that she is of course so eminently and beautifully flawed) will simply dig their heels in if you cite any instances wherein she does something mean or out of line and they'll be like "no she was right and morally justified actually because the person she was talking to was being an asshole and victimizing her [katara voice] personally and so she wasn't being mean she was right 100% of the time and always justified and morally correct actually you just hate her and want her dead" because that's like. exactly how katara thinks. they're just subscribing to her logic (thee ultimate fourteen year old little sister logic) and then deciding that she must be correct because she thinks she's always correct and if she's always right then she is. and i find that kind of endearing because i do cherish katara and do always understand where she is coming from even when she's wrong but like. she is not an irreproachable angel who is always justified in her rage and vitriol. she is a realistically fallible teenager who is in a lot of pain and fucks up a lot and has a tendency to dig her heels in when she's wrong. and that's something i absolutely adore about her!!!! so it's really such a shame that so many people who claim to love her will put her on a pedestal and blindly agree with everything she says and does, because it's a really reductive way to engage with her character, and it's also just plain dehumanizing to reduce such a rich and nuanced character into "girl whose actions should always be taken at face value because she is simply a vehicle onto which we can project our owns thoughts and feelings." i mean, didn't you know that stripping her of all her agency and making her a flawless site of projection (usually for shipping purposes) is feminist actually?? and if you ever point out her flaws (even in a loving, celebratory, or humorous way) it's because you hate women??? didn't you know that feminism is when women don't have flaws they have to learn and grow from, and instead just kind of sit there??????? which is, incidentally, how you get the trash fire that is natla. anyway. i love katara so much, but i really do hate it here -_-
#estra-die-ol#asks#katara#the way she treats toph is sooooo fascinating#but ppl tend to ignore the less palatable things she does bc they dont wanna admit that her rage is not always 100% morally justified .....#lol. lmfao even
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
Let's go!
Warning: the reader is a college student; age difference; the reader is a little shy
I love Leon and no one will do anything to me for this. So here are some more headcanons:
You met Leon only because you lost the desire of your friends, and as punishment they sent you to chat with this gloomy drunk sitting in an embrace with an expensive bottle of whiskey.
It was really shitty, you drank two more glasses of liquor before you plucked up the courage to sit next to him and say, "Hi, handsome."
Damn, you literally blush after every word you say, and alcohol doesn't help at all. Leon, on the other hand, laughs nervously at your inept attempts at flirting, considering your friends as shitty as possible, since they did this to you by sending you to flirt with a man 10-15 years older. But on the whole, he likes you.
Leon will order you a coffee, because cheap alcohol only makes you worse. However, you're so cute when you blush at a compliment he says.
You have a strange relationship that should have been interrupted a long time ago, but you talk to him on the phone for a long time on various topics.
You are comfortable with him as well as with your friends. Therefore, embarrassment aside! You can talk to him about anything.
His humor can be terrible, just like yours
"I was told that to solve the problem you need to sleep with her, but my problem is you!"
oops, someone drank too much…
Leon wants to be your problem, but not when you're drunk. He doesn't like too much that you drank more than your norm.
You will laugh a lot and make indecent jokes, and in the morning you will be ashamed of your behavior. "Did you really tell him so many vulgarities?"
"You seriously proved to me that my middle name is not Scott, but Sexy Kennedy. Leon Sexy Kennedy."
He really likes it, he wants you to talk about it more often, and not shyly look away.
You're fucked. You cover your face with your hands, begging him to forget about everything you said last night, but he doesn't want to forget about it at all. Moreover, he thinks that his shirts will look sexy as hell on you.
Leon will ask if you want to solve your "problem", or is it better for him to take you home? If you stay, he'll be glad. And yes, his shirts look great on your naked body!
He likes it when you stay with him all day or all weekend. To do this, he specifically buys you a bar of chocolate so that later he can watch you lick your fingers while watching TV
You feel uncomfortable when you notice the gaze fixed on you. Leon clearly has something obscene on his mind, you can see it by his grin. At night he will tell you what it is, or show you…
"Come on, baby, I'm not one of those college guys who, after spending the night with a girl, pretend they don't know her."
However, Leon is happy to spend more than just nights with you. It seems to me that he is quite a homely person. He doesn't mind your things in his house or the books you read while you're with him. In fact, he likes it when you read aloud to him.
He doesn't want to be an unusual "relationship experience" in your life. He's already got enough shit because of work, so he asks you to think about whether you need a relationship with him. He wants to love and be loved in return, so think about it carefully, princess.
If you agree to a relationship with him, he will be immensely happy, but he is unlikely to show it. However, taking care of you will be a priority for him now. Leon is clearly a defensive type.
You'll be his little spoon when you sleep in the same bed with him. Leon will kiss the top of your head and draw contours on your back. You instill in him a forgotten sense of calm that alcohol will never give him.
He likes the idea that he can protect at least one loved one.
So don't be scared when he wakes up at night with the desire to hug you tightly. You'll get used to it very soon, because you know that he has some kind of super-complicated job that he doesn't like to talk about.
His worst nightmare - you were killed or you got infected.
Leon definitely likes to kiss you between the shoulder blades when you're lying on your stomach.
He is so grateful to you for treating his simple wounds. It may be a bruise or a small cut, but the way you tenderly treat the wounds makes his heart flutter. Leon doesn't believe in God, but then why are you his angel?
He understands that you want to have fun with friends from time to time, but please be careful! If you have any problems or someone bothers you, then immediately inform him.
He doesn't have anything against your friends, but he's still worried about you, and he definitely doesn't like that guy…
It's not jealousy! Leon trusts you, but he's also learned to be a good judge of people, so he can't stand some of the people around you
He likes to watch movies with you when you're both wrapped in a blanket and lying on the couch. Even if it's boring, Leon likes being with you, so he's ready to watch your favorite movies/series/shows as much as he wants. But when you fall asleep yourself, he will take you to bed, or maybe he will fall asleep with you.
Maybe someday he'll marry you.
It's okay if you don't want to.
He doesn't want to rush into serious offers, but if you want to move in with him, he'll be happy.
Sometimes he will make fun of you, but more often he will call you by affectionate names. So often that you will begin to think that he has forgotten your real name. Leon will laugh at this, making it clear that he has no problems with his memory.
Leon will gradually open up to you more and more, but don't wait for everything at once. It's hard for him too, and he's not the kind of person who takes out his problems on others. He is ready and willing to take care of you, but prefers to keep to himself what is bothering him.
none of you will ever say it out loud, but Leon puts you above himself. This is a simple truth that makes no sense to discuss. Don't waste your time, because Leon won't change his mind. He loves you and will only love you more because you also love him and care about him.
And yes, he still doesn't trust your friends, although he's glad they made you sit with him that day at the bar.
#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil#resident evil vendetta#resident evil x reader
489 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okey Dokey, so no more tiptoeing around the issue, with many people's helpful private opinions, I've come to the conclusion it does need to be addressed.
AI "art."
From here on out, anyone I see posting it is getting blocked. I'm not arguing with anyone about this, that's not what I'm here for, but I've seen it too much as of late, and I feel I should at least say something about it, especially as an artist myself.
There's never an excuse for it.
- Need a visual/reference of what your oc(s) would look like, but don't think highly of your own artistic abilities? Surprise! There are still plenty of ways to obtain one, without using AI. The amount of incredibly talented artists in this community, some of whom are in need of commissions. The incredibly talented artists who sometimes draw for free, out of hobby or perhaps need for practice.
And then even if neither of those work for you, try some of the character customization mediums we've all used before, that have existed on the internet for years now. (Think Gacha, Picrew, etc. Even if it's seen as "cringe" by some people, it's better than this.) Or hey, try drawing it yourself. "Bad" art is allowed, and everyone starts somewhere.
Even if you don't like how what you're drawing looks at first, you will eventually if you keep trying, I promise you. Watch speedpaints, animatics, cartoons, study the way things look through your human eyes, and apply them to your process. Learn. Grow.
- Ignorance? There is no way that you've dipped your toes in AI generated images, without knowing what needs to occur for an AI to generate said images. It does not come from thin air. These robots use real people's faces to produce images of people, real animals to produce images of animals.
So, in the case of "art," that's right, they're using a real artist's artwork to produce it. In short, stealing. If you've not heard about this by now, and have still been using AI generators to generate "art," then I'd have to assume you've been doing it blindfolded.
- Just for fun - or worse - for fet? ...Let's be serious. As I've explained above, there's no reason to be using it at all, but especially here on fucking SNZBLR of all places!
Like... Guys, this is a sneezing kink/fetish community. And you're really knowingly using a robot - which grotesquely melds together other people's work - to generate fetish content? Do we... not realize how gross that is?
I'm not coming after anyone specifically, because I've seen more than just one person doing this, but if the shoe fits, wear it. And that's all I'm saying about this. I'm really tired of seeing it, so if those of you doing it won't change, I will. Though considering the blatant disregard some of you have for human artists, one blocking you shouldn't bother you too much, right? ♥
Anyways, sorry if I freaked anyone out with my cryptic ass posts from before, I was hesitant to say anything, because I didn't wanna start shit, but sometimes it's just not worth it to bite your tongue. If the snzblr art community can (rightfully) come down on tracers, then we should be doing the same with AI "art."
#snzblr#snz#snz kink#sneezeblr#sneeze kink#snzfucker#snz thoughts#snz fet#not snz#spiidervent#rant ahead
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
My sister has been showing me episodes of OG Trigun--mostly in preparation for Trigun Stampede--but also because it's one of her favorite manga of all time.
And holy SHIT I cannot even begin to explain how fucking batshit this show is. Just hearing Johnny Yong Bosch's voice alone immediately sent me back at least fifteen years.
I have watched all episodes of OG Trigun while drunk, high and sober. And regardless of my state of inebreiation, I was always left with the exact, inescapable feeling of wanting to fucking die from the sheer nostalgic cringe and insanity of it all. I hate this show. I love this show. I'm fucking obsessed.
So, to all those who are curious (or would just like a mini idea of how to compare OG Trigun with Trigun Stampede)--here is my comprehensive list of things that ACTUALLY happened in Trigun that make me go absolutely batshit just thinking about them:
The sheer insanity of the--balls to the walls, barely held together with ducktape, spit and shoestring--of a plot, all with apparently little to no accuracy to the manga whatsoever. This both amuses and horrifies my sister.
The absolute refusal on the part of the anime to actually explain literally anything. Like the fact that the show takes place in space. Or why humanity is on a desert planet. Or what Plants are, why they're important, why they're there, literally ANYTHING.
Seriously, if you've only ever watched the anime you would have no fucking clue what the Plants are or what they even do. And THEY'RE LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BITS OF LORE/A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING MANGA.
A major bit of Trigun's lore/setting is just straight up the events of Wall-E.
Johnny Yong fucking Bosch as Vash's English VA. Enough said.
Vash--by simply existing and (mostly) through no direct fault of his own--is capable of wrecking such sheer and complete utter devastation that there's an actual insurance policy people can file after their town is destroyed in the aftermath of him visiting. Iconic.
Monev is just Spiderman's Venom but with a purple and orange reskin. This was intentional on part of the creator as he is obsessed with Venom. Good on him.
This is only specific to the English Dub (we switched to the original sub for the more "serious" episodes, calm down), but HOLY FUCK the absolutely atrocious line deliveries somehow make the show even worse and yet ultimately so much funnier all at the same time!
Millions Knives is the name of Vash's twin brother.
Vash is bisexual. There are multiple occassions where he will call a random male character "Cute" or "Cutie." Somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.
Christianity exists. And the Church trains orphans to be assassins. This makes perfect sense.
"LUUV AND PEEEEAAACCCCCEEE!!!!"
In the second episode of the series (English Dub), there's an actual scene where an old man and his grandson LOUDLY lament the absolute devastation of their home in the most inappropriately cheerful and candid way possible. And then the fucking kid follows that up by just singing out of fucking nowhere "~Bad times are here LALALALALA!!!!!~"
Vash is part gun.
According to "company regulations," as insurance workers Milly and Meryl are not allowed to take part time jobs. They later take part time jobs. My broke ass resonated too fucking hard with this bit.
"Oh, maaaan! Why can't I just get a break?! Death and poverty like me so much, they've brought friends!" Fucking. Mood.
At one point, Vash does the crab walk to dodge a barrage of bullets. This is, surprisingly, quite effective.
"I'll whack you, mister!"
Legato's introduction is him sitting down on a bench and then PULLING A HOT DOG OUT OF A PAPER BAG WITH A HUMAN HEAD IN IT!!!!
Legato has his own personal saxophone player that just follows him everywhere???????
"Oh my. I'm about to go down in ~fllaaaaaammeesssss!~"
Wolfwood.
In EP 16, someone just starts randomly scatting in the background for no reason. No explanation is ever offered.
"My name is .... VASH DA STAMPEDE-DUUUH!!!!!"
Also in EP 16, one of the villains for that episode sounds, deadass, exactly like Jar Jar Binks. I am not joking.
Legato can blood bend.
There's a mini episode dedicated to Milly and Meryl. Vash shows up for five seconds hiding in a trash can. The joke writes itself.
"The DEADLY DODGEBALL HEAD!!! A simple technique to hold the ball in place with INTENSE SUUUCTION!! Try this at home! ;)"
Knives eats an apple, cuts his own hair and enters his impromptu emo arc.
Legato gets horny over the idea of Vash crying. Idk what to tell you, man.
Wolfwood shoots a child. Granted, said child was gonna try to kill Vash and a bunch of orphans. But still.
Vash makes up a dark song about murdering and killing people. The villains of that episode proceed to roast him for his shit lyrics.
Wolfwood doesn't understand why everyone is mad at him for KILLING A CHILD.
"I meditate diligently every morning. The subjects are life and love ... I quit after three seconds."
The actually downright amazing OST, that has no right to be as good as it is. No joke, one of the best anime OSTs I have ever heard in my life.
"And if you're still having doubts, check out my 100% accurate gunmanship!" *proceeds to shoot directly at the sky only then for a black cat to fall directly on his head. The cat's fine btw*
At a certain point, Vash fakes his identity, gets a disguise and goes under a false name. Said false name being "Eriks." He looks like if someone ran Hohenheim through the washer and then hung him on a clothesline for a week. I have ... no fucking words.
"What is this strange phenomena? Is it some sort of strange and twisted Christian science!?"
For as menacing as they make Legato out to be, he sure does shit all in the grand scheme of things. Also he looks like he raids Seto Kaiba's closet on the DL and duels monsters on weekends.
Vash will randomly have Bishie eyes. Arguably, his most Bishie moment is right after Wolfwood punches him in the face. I'll let you infer what you want from this.
Rem randomly appears out of nowhere to taunt Vash with nonsense riddles and haikus. No explanation is ever given until EP 17 for who Rem is, why she keeps reappearing in Vash's mind, if she's even a real person or just someone Vash made up, etc. Because of this, it just looks like Vash keeps receiving American Beauty-style rose shower psychic attacks while a random woman just spouts absolute nonsense at him. There is no way this explanation will prepare you for the actual experience of watching it.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz-" *prolonged pause* "-Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hestitate to call."
Vash gets adopted by an old woman and her granddaughter. It's actually kind of sweet.
A minor villain in EP 18 demands that Vash strip and then act like a dog. He proceeds to do both without a single objection. Wolfwood pulls down his sunglasses and leers at Vash's naked ass. My sister has informed me that this is actually canonical.
Rem is a hyper Christian.
Wolfwood takes personal offense to a burlesque dancer being absolute shit at dancing. Honestly ... I can't even argue with him.
"Hey, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' REMEMBER!? WHAT KIND OF CHURCH MAN ARE YOU!!!?"
Vash saves a town's Plant through the power of Bishie.
While trying to save a child, Vash and Wolfwood both get sucked into quicksand. Said child just watches them go into the ground. I would have done the same.
Milly, Vash and Wolfwood decide to share drinks and before any of them even take a single shot, Milly decides to strip naked. Vash and Wolfwood are very pleased by this. Meryl is not.
"WHOSE idea was it to USE THE GRENADE!!!?? He can't be identified for the reward if he's a pile of pulp, YOU DUMBASS!!!!"
Wolfwood calls Vash pathetic. This kickstarts yet another existential crisis within Vash.
"Thank GOD you asked! It's a long story, although it's kind of a short one."
For literally no reason at all, child Knives decides to embrace his Anti-Christ symbolism and goes full Joker mode. This is not at all accurate to the manga.
Vash and Knives are aliens/Plants. Rem thinks they're actual Christian angels. Deadass.
Milly forces Wolfwood to pretend to be her baby daddy for a whole episode. For pudding. Yup.
Vash enters a dom/sub relationship with a Pokemon gym leader looking lady and they engage in extremely explicit pet play.
Anyway, watch OG Trigun. If you've ever watched any sort of anime abridged series, it will definitely make things a little easier for you. There are definitely too many points at which this show feels like a YouTube Poop and I mean in that best and worst possible way.
Also Meryl is Best Girl. I will not budge on this.
#trigun#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun vash#og trigun#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun wolfwood#trigun milly#trigun meryl#johnny yong bosch#90s anime#radio talks#radio loses his goddamn mind more like#y'all have no fucking clue#how wild it was#to experince this show for the first time#it's absolute insanity from one episode to the next#but it's never fuckig boring#so in a way#i have to give it credit for that at least#bisexual king vash#what an icon#what a fucking mess
757 notes
·
View notes
Note
I was working on gaining experience in motorsport but now I don't want to anymore due to the news. I have been torn up about this since it was announced. Am I even safe working in this industry? Is it only a matter of time?
I think there are two things to take from this: even in an organisation as closed-ranks as Red Bull, this was investigated. And although it's depressing to see many people either expressing disbelief or seeking to discredit the victim, there are a much larger number of people outraged. Not just that it happened but with the entire process, including the way it is being played as a political trophy within Red Bull as an organisation and the wider reaction of Formula 1 and the FIA.
In every industry, there are imbalances in power that lead to exploitation. Ableism, racism, sexism and homophobia go hand in hand with unfairnesses like nepotism and favouritism. Some industries, especially those that people really want to work in and where there are limited opportunities, have it worse - you see it in acting, in games, in music, in motorsport.
Nowhere is safe from the structural inequalities that frame the world. In any job you'll be in some level of danger. That's not intended as a blanket scare or as some way to minimise or dismiss the specific (and extremely unpleasant) case being brought this week.
I definitely have experienced sexism and outright attempts at exploitation/abuse in motorsport. A man who's still a popular pundit spent several years lying to me and even though I'm really not this naiive, somehow convincing me to exchange lewds. Another one who's in a senior editorial position routinely sends me obscene messages. Men from teams and championships and heritage programmes have tried to get me to fuck them and I'm not young or hot or particularly desirable - it's just that I was there and a woman and so it's almost seen as obligatory that they do it, so they can dismiss you as a slut.
I wrote a little about this when the Mazepin thing came out a few years ago. It resonated with a painful number of women across motorsport, I got hundreds of messages after it was posted.
But. This is being taken seriously. There is a clear level of discomfort within the wider paddock about Horner's presence - some of that is political, it is in the teams' interests for there to be disruption at Red Bull. But a lot is clearly pretty visceral horror and anger at both the reputational damage to the sport and what's happened.
Do not let the fact that there are gross people out there deter you from a dream. Do let yourself be angry about it and mould that anger into a toolkit to address it. Look out for the people around you, try to promote positive workplace cultures, call out unpleasant behaviours, especially in scenarios where you are relatively unaffected. (eg: if you're a straight woman and someone says something gross about a gay man, if you're a white person and someone says something racist, etc)
Motorsport needs good people to work in it to change. It needs you far more than you need it. Don't let it reverse or exploit that and you will have a level of power that constitutes safety because you won't let it damage you for the sake of getting something it isn't offering. (If someone is behaving exploitatively then they are not giving you anything, they are trying to see what they can take)
It's been a shit week. I feel awful for the woman who's been doxxed, robbed of compensation and had her career ruined. Who's being discussed and discredited by the paddock, by journalists, by the most toxic fans. In a just world, people would be protecting her but that would need the population of all those groups to change significantly.
So don't let it put you off. Let it make you keener to displace them.
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
TMNT POLLS PSA
I've explained this in my reblog tags of this post, please keep the TMNT polls fun and please be sure that the AU/Iteration/Fic creators are actually okay with being part of them.
**Not about polls I've been added in, but polls I've seen, and growing trends me and others have noticed. As always, please don't harass anyone.
Specifically the more popularity-poll-ish ones, ones that teeter on or are straight up serious, it can be discouraging for those who didn't ask for it. Some may fear speaking up about it because other people are having fun despite how they themselves feel about it. Especially when polls specifically put one well-known fanwork over a smaller one. Worse yet when you're dropped into it without awareness from beforehand. Hell, even when the creators have a similar size, it can hurt.
I've recently gotten some anon messages like this. Though I haven't seen that attitude in response to my AU in polls, it's the type of attitude I've seen towards a couple other creators.
Being publicly compared to others by hundreds, sometimes up to thousands, can be anxiety-inducing. As easy as it is to say that "the unpopularity of your work should not discourage you," truth be told, there's truth to the saying "comparison kills creativity."
To have your work being used to put down someone else? Someone who's working just as hard? Who's just trying to share an idea just like you? Or to be dismissed?
As stated by the authors of MMC and OMO, while it may seem like you're uplifting your favorite in this, it's awkward. It can be stressful.
For those with less votes, it's hard not to think that yours is being called "less than." An "I've never heard of the other one lmao" can feel like a punch in the gut.
There's also animosity towards more bigger fanworks because of the pedestal they've been put on.
All that, and not even wanting to be there in there first place.
These things should and can encourage creativity and growth. AUs crossing over, banter, propaganda posts, etc.
Around the time Tumblr first rolled out the poll function, I was included in The Night AU creator's Sep AU polls. Me and the poll creator, Ray, both got last place in 2 respective polls, hence why we call TN!Leo/Green and TD!Leo/Trainee the "Losers Duo." Key part being: there was the awareness that this was simply in good fun. And I enjoyed being included.
Getting to know the creators of The Night, Red Rover, Life Mission, Blood Bath, and SLAU was and still is an amazing experience. The amount of crossover art we've made is evident of how much I've loved its turnout. I'm still planning on making more crossover work in the future.
It was some of the most actual fun I've had in fandom since I was 12. I'm 20 by the end of the year.
TL;DR
Respect the boundaries of fanwork creators and don't be an asshole for fuck's sake.
#tmnt au polls#tmnt au poll psa#regular buwan blog#//long post#rant#buwan is ranting#also this isn't about the recent preliminary poll#all the polls I've been in have been fun experiences so far#i hope that doesn't change
435 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
tamarovjo4
Монастырский чай
tamarovjo4
Монастырский чай
tamarovjo4
Монастырский чай
cordaylux
Emily Allen
cordaylux
Emily Allen