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rileyslibrary · 4 months

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Ghost shares his New Year’s resolution with you.

A/N: This is an automated message. I’m still on a break. Also, a warning for you: this story does not follow canon. It’s fluff, though.

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You look around as you move through the groups of people, making your way toward the buffet. These New Year’s Eve parties at the military base are something else. It’s not the celebration that fascinates you; it’s the way people, just for the night, ditch their ranks and show another part of them that duty tends to conceal.

Seniors and subordinates talk like equals, and the rigid structure fades into the background, much like the slow jazz music playing from the speakers. Annoying ads occasionally interrupt the rhythm, and you make a mental note to locate the source and plug in your Spotify.

And yes, you’ve seen different aspects of their personality while on missions or in more casual settings. However, when you add alcohol into the mix, pair it with the excitement of the upcoming new year, and factor in the human need for closeness when away from family, everything feels different.

For example, you’d never have thought that Gaz gets an itch that lasts for days whenever he has to wear a Gillie suit or that Price can distinguish between different brands of cigars just by smelling them. ‘They need to have the right humidity level,’ you hear him say as you walk past the group and stand in front of the buffet. You scan the pastry platter, trying to find one that’s intact so you can pop it directly in your mouth since no plates are left. That or you haven’t spotted them yet. You look around, searching for a pile of clean ones, but pause as your eyes land on the training ground perimeter outside.

Approximately six feet-something, broad, a glass in his right hand, balaclava slightly raised, leaning against the fence, gazing up at the sky.

Your appetite for pastries is gone.

Leaving the buffet, you walk towards the door leading outside, but as you slide it open, a teammate grabs your shoulder. She urges you to share with the rest of her group about your time in Norway when you mistook a group of migrating salmon travelling upstream for a raid. You smile in response and promise her you’ll join them shortly, motioning towards the training grounds. She follows your gaze, and once she understands what you’re on about, she releases your shoulder and nods understandingly.

You slide open the door; Ghost looks over his shoulder but not directly at you. He’s not alarmed.

“The salmon story is not that funny,” he remarks in a low voice, wiggling his glass. “You should tell them about that time in Mexico.”

“You mean when I complained to the bartender that there was a worm in the tequila bottle?”

He nods, taking a sip. “Like finding a fly in your soup,” he murmurs, lowering his glass.

“I’m surprised you heard the conversation,” you state. “It’s chaos inside.”

Ghost shrugs and lowers his head. He’s not much of a talker lately—not like he’s a social butterfly on other days—but he’s not very keen on the chaos inside. Not only that, but the recent events have shaken him quite a lot, even though he conceals it well.

You rest your arms on the fence beside him, dangling your wine glass on the edge and look at the stars. He follows your lead and does the same. You lean in closer, and your shoulder touches his. He doesn’t move away—instead, he steadies himself further to support you. When you feel ready and secure, you shift your weight onto him and rest your head on his shoulder.

“I won’t ask you if you’re ok.” You whisper.

“That counts like asking.”

“Yeah,” you reply, “but I didn’t.”

“Good.” He says and takes a sip from his glass.

“Should I change the subject?”

“Should you keep on talking?” He asks back.

“Yes,” you murmur. “Yes, I absolutely should.”

He sighs and shakes his head. “Go on then.”

“So,” you begin, “any New Year resolution for you, Lt.?”

You feel him nod, and you stand upright in shock.

“Why look at you, Lt!” You shout wide-eyed, “I didn’t peg you as the resolution type.”

“What can I say,” he mumbles. “I’m a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a fucking enigma.”

“Churchill said something like that.” You state proudly.

“Indeed.” He replies. “Minus the ‘fucking’ part.”

“So?” You ask, “What is it?”

He looks at his glass, searching for the right words. “No more casualties.” He finally states.

“Don’t you think that’s a little far-fetched?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. “Considering the nature of our job and such?”

“So was your ‘no more chocolate’ resolution last year.” He replies.

“Hey!” You shout, “At least I tried!”

“That’s what I’m saying,” he rolls his eyes. “I’ll try to keep everyone safe.”

“That’s more like it,” You nod, lifting your glass. “Here’s to trying our best to keep everyone safe.”

He turns to face you. There’s a solemn expression behind those eyes of his. As if he’s determined to make this his life’s goal. He brings his glass closer to yours, and they clink together.

And as you’re about to drink from your shared toast, the door slides open, and a face pops in between.

“Here’s Johnny!” Soap shouts. Although he sports that annoying smug look, the top of his head is wrapped in a fresh white bandage, courtesy of the bullet that grazed him last month.

“I see you’re feeling better, Soap.” You say with a smile. “Would you like to join us?”

“Nah,” he replies. “Captain told me to tell you to come inside; cake’s about to be served.”

You thank him, and he shuts the door behind him. You turn to look at the lieutenant, who is slowly shaking his head.

“Scratch my New Year’s resolution,” Ghost murmurs, looking at the remains of his drink. “For this year, I plan on moving bases so I’d be away from him once and for all.” He states and downs the rest of it.

“You don’t mean that.” You chuckle and slap his arm.

“I don’t,” he admits, “but he made us all lose ten fucking years of our lives.”

“Everything turned alright, Lieutenant.” You say and wrap an arm around his waist. “Now, pull down your balaclava and come inside before you catch a cold.”

He wraps an arm around your shoulder and plants three little kisses at the top of your head before covering the rest of his face with his mask, leading you inside to celebrate the new year.

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#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x f!reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #cod ghost #call of duty #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley fic #simon riley fluff #simon riley x female reader #ghost call of duty #ghost modern warfare #cod mwiii spoilers

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zeldasnotes · 3 months

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𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖊

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖙𝖜𝖔

Destinn(6583) conjunct Moon: You can feel it at the first meeting that you were destined to meet. Love this aspect.

Moon conjunct Venus: I had this with a friend I met in high school. Her Venus conjunct my Moon and she was like conditioner to my soul. She made me feel so loved & we were always sickeningly sweet to eachother and complimenting eachother.

Mercury 12th house synastry: I looked up the charts of the two guys in my neighbourhood who used to snitch about me to my dad. Told my dad any rumour about me & what guys Ive been involved with etc. Both of them have their Mercury in my 12th house.💀

Chiron conjunct Personal Planets: This is common between people who have had beef for years because the wound just wont go away even tho from the beginning the beef started over something small and you want to hurt the other just as bad as they hurt you. And you think you are the only one whos hurt so you keep picking on eachother. Just hearing the others name can be triggering. Chiron can be so healing but also so incredibly painful. ❤️‍🩹

Composite Aries Rising: This can make the dislike or tension very obvious to others. My dad and stepmom have this and everyone knows they treat eachother badly. The first thing you notice it the tension between them. I have this with a few people who i know dislike me and i them and people notice it instantly.

Saturn in the composite chart: Saturn seems to act like glue in the composite since it rules time. It can make you stuck on someone either positively or negatively based on the rest of the chart.

Venus 8th house: Venus is fascinated by 8th house persons appearance even if house person is not their type. They might find the house person super sexy & mysterious.

8th house synastry: I love 8th house synastry but whats so sad is that one of you will transform by this relationship and after a while you are not the same people you were before. There is a risk of just being a ”lesson” in eachothers life. But when its meant to last its wonderful.

8th house synastry: Another thing I find annoying with 8th house synastry is when I can tell someone doesnt like me but still is allll up in my face bc they have planets in my 8th house and therefore have some kind of weird obsession/fascination going on.

Ascendant Square Ascendant: Me and my dad have this in synastry and we just dont get eachothers behoviour. Like WHY are you behaving like that?

Dislike for no reason: I dont really believe in ”dislike for no reason” because I think there is always something behind disliking someone otherwise you need serious help but everytime someone disliked me for seemingly no reason there was harsh Mars Squares involved or 12th house synastry. Especially their Mars Squaring or Opposite my Sun or Moon.

Different energies & misunderstandings: Me and my dad have good synastry but he is very fire dominant and Im very water dominant. He sees my need for alone time and shyness as something unattractive. For him people are supposed to be brave, confident, social and loud otherwise you are insecure and weird. For me I find quiet confidence attractive but he sees it as not having confidence at all.

Venus conjunct Pluto: This is someone I used to go to yoga with. She was much older than me. The first time I saw her I was like WOW, thats the hottest women Ive ever seen. My Pluto was conjunct her Venus.

Venus conjunct Nemesis(128): Seen this in the synastry chart between two bestfriends where the nemesis person were secretly messing around with the Venus person boyfriend. She was an enemy(nemesis) when it came to love(venus).

Composite Sun conjunct Pluto: Intense! I have this with the woman I had the most dirty beef with for years. But I also have it with some guy I had a very beautiful and intense bond with.

Lilith conjunct Mars: Lilith would fight anyone for the Mars person.

Moon 5th house: Ive seen this very often lead to the Moon person idealizing the 5th house person a lot.

4th house synastry/composite: This can mean you enjoy a very ”down to earth” life together. I know some people with this who just like to do gardening, cooking, decorating the home and stuff like that together. They dont feel a strong need to go out and do stuff to enjoy eachothers company. 👨‍👩‍👦🪴

Lilith 10th house: Can make Lilith person threathened by house persons social status/reputation/image. Powerstruggles. Recognizing eachothers social climbing ways. Attracted to 10th house persons image.

10th house synastry/composite: 10th house synastry can make yall enjoy to go out a lot or show eachother off. Might really like to be seen together/make eachother look good.

Vertex conjunct Personal Planets: You WILL meet. Avoid eachother all you want you will keep running into eachother. Ive ran into people I had this synastry with time and time again until we talked. When we finally talked to eachother or had some kind of relationship that later ended we stopped running into eachother.

Mars 8th house: This synastry overlay feels like the universe is trying to force yall to do it but at the same time there is always a reason why you cant.

Top 5 ”I cant resist you” placements: Ive noticed Mars 8th house, Moon 8th house, Venus conjunct Pluto, Lilith conjunct Moon & Nessus conjunct Ascendant to be the top 5 placements that makes it almost impossible to resist eachother. (According to me)

Chiron conjunct Mars: Doing it with eachother leaves you feeling like you just had a theraphy session. Healing and raw.

Mars 3rd house synastry: This can lead to the Mars person gossiping a lot about the house person. This can be very annoying for the house person because the Mars person just wont stop talking about them.

Mars 3rd house: The positive part of this synastry overlay is that you find eachothers voice super hot. Can lead to some hot conversations on the phone 😏🔥

Venus 10th house composite: I have this with a guy and let me tell you we look GOOD together. We like the same colors so we always match, we have a similar style, similar height, similar way of behaving in public. People with this in the composite seem to often resemble eachother in some way.

Composite Moon conjunct Venus: Enjoying every second with eachother.🥹❤️‍🔥

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #synastry reading #8th house synastry #synastry

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princessjojo-x · 4 months

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Venus Synastry

ignore the crossed out parts, that’s only for me & my chart

💝 venus conjunct mars - usually mars takes on the masculine role & is the one that makes the first move whilst venus acts more feminine, passive & seductive. the couple become sexual with each other quite quickly due to the guaranteed sexual attraction. however, they may get under each others skin & mars isn’t afraid to bite back.

💝 venus conjunct sun - sun will naturally & easily attract venus. venus seeks attention & validation from sun. in my opinion & from my experience, the chemistry wasn’t strong enough to warrant any sort of longing for him; plus the connection didn’t feel that sexual or romantic. it might be bc it reverses traditional gender roles, with the man’s feminine side amplified through his venus & the woman’s masculinity amplified through her sun. i feel this is a very “all or nothing” rxship. the rxship felt too demanding & i felt quite suffocated at times. however, these rxship always take on the qualities of the sign the conjunction is in. in my case it was in aries which explains why i felt that way.

💝 venus conjunct venus - partners express love in the same way as one another. but sometimes it’s too much of the same energy causing partners to clash over their more challenging venus traits. this aspect works best if the venus signs aren’t in detriment or malefic.

💝 venus conjunct jupiter - partners experience joy when together. this aspect gives an element of luck financially so partners may gain financial abundance & material gain. partners are prone to a lack of discipline & overindulgence when together (overeating, overspending, laziness, partying, etc).

💝 venus conjunct chiron - can indicate a trauma bond which is why it’s so hard for partners to to cut the cord & completely forget each other & the impact they had on them.

💝 venus opposite venus - powerful physical attraction & undeniable passion between both however mind games are possible. partners give very subtle hints & vibes to each other but there’s always one partner who is more oblivious than the other. oppositions in astrology often represent polarity, two energies in tension, pulling in opposite directions. partners have different love styles, needs, values, desires & rxship expectations. this difference can lead to conflict & misunderstandings. but this difference can also create a sense of intrigue & fascination for one another. partners are drawn to each other’s differences & find they complement each other well. the difference pushes both partners out of their comfort zones.

💝 venus square venus - unresolved trauma from both parties taint the rxship. both partners may have very different ways of showing affection & different tastes. (music, lifestyles, slightly trivial things). (aquarius/leo venus)

💝 venus square mars - this can be an awkward aspect in friendships bc there’s a bizarre sexual & touchy tension that neither partners are comfortable with. mars can come off a little too strong & possessive with venus. this behaviour from mars makes venus feel repulsed & venus may distance themselves. not to mention, harsh aspects (square/opposite) between venus & mars creates strong s3xual attraction but creates obstacles & challenges within rxship too. unfavourable aspects between venus & mars is a sign of a rxship possibly turning very toxic if the parties involved do not have the emotional intelligence & maturity needed to work through their differences. (leo/aquarius/scorpio venus or mars)

💝 venus conjunct pluto - both partners feel intense emotions for eachother even when they're not together. pluto sometimes wants to control venus into only looking & thinking abt them. (sag venus)

💝 venus opposite pluto - instability (gemini venus/ scorpio pluto)

💝 venus square pluto - creates a lot of sexual tension between the two. pluto becomes very possessive & jealous over venus, even if they’re not together, pluto will act like venus is theirs. however, pluto tends to be very lowkey abt their feelings it’s rare anyone will notice. (aqua/leo pluto or virgo/pisc venus)

💝 venus square eros - lack of common ground (leo/aqua eros or scorpio/taurus venus)

💝 venus conjunct jupiter - healthy, happy rxship

💝 venus conjunct north node - difficulty sustaining longevity (gemini venus or taurus nn)

💝 venus square saturn - painful aspect. saturn feels like they’re babysitting venus. venus feels misunderstood & isn’t able to express themselves. saturn restricts venus from being able to express any kind of loving venus like nature. (virgo/pisces venus or leo/aquarius saturn)

💝 venus conjunct lilith - possibly a secretive rxship that feels so taboo & probably is. the attraction lilith feels for venus is so deep yet toxic. lilith is repulsed yet can't keep their eyes off venus. obsession is definitely possible & venus could feel trapped really fast. there is so much sexual tension & attraction that making this synastry quite unforgettable.

💝 venus square ascendant - asc is not just how you look but how you act too, so venus dislikes how asc acts & carries themselves. partners have different social preferences or lifestyles which causes tension or discomfort. partners sweep problems under the carpet to maintain harmony but overtime this turns into hate & resentment. if asc is a man & venus is a woman, this aspect will cause her to view him as not manly enough. for example, she might not like how he handles conflict, doesnt see him as ambitious enough, etc. (leo/aquarius asc or libra/aries venus)

💝 venus trine saturn - found in many long term rxships (libra/aquarius venus or capricorn/virgo saturn)

💝 venus square neptune - doubts from venus preventing trust (leo/aquarius neptune or taurus/scorpio venus)

💝 venus conjunct juno - juno views venus as perfection personified (leo venus or taurus juno)

💝 venus square saturn - a very binding aspects regardless of how much partners love or hate one another. however, venus is going to feel frozen & very misunderstood. venus is restricted from expressing lighthearted affection & is giving negative undertones from saturn. (leo/aquarius saturn of virgo/pisces venus)

#astro notes #astrology #astrology synastry #astro observations #venus synastry

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ellalalala · 6 months

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A semi-long rant about Dottore's implied self-hatred, loneliness and inner struggles

I am, like many others, endlessly fascinated by Dottore, which means that I've been sucking the game dry for any Dottore content I can find; I've watched the dialogue between him and Nahida numerous times, read the "Zandik's Legacy" notes over and over and even the description of the "Wise Doctor's Pinion" from the Pale Flame artifact set. So much has already been said about him, but I'd like to offer my own two cents about an aspect of his character that is often ignored in favor of his villainy: Dottore's inner struggles.

I'll recount everything that I've gathered and tell you of my interpretation of Dottore's character.

To start, one thing that I never see people mention is a line from Nahida's retelling of the Tatarasuna incident. In the very beginning of the cutscene, we see a monster covered in light blue fur (obviously Dottore) who Nahida describes in a very interesting way. She says:

"Once in a while, the monster would take off its fox fur at night, and lament to itself as it gazed at its reflection in the water: "I am a monstrosity, yet they are too foolish to see it. I pity them."

Of course, it's easy to say that this is just a fairy tale Nahida created to preserve Scaramouche's memories and that this could've been made up - which is only half true! We must remember that Nahida has seen Dottore's consciousness. She already knew of the arguments between his Segments when Dottore confronted her to take the Electro and Dendro gnoses. Why do I bring this specific line up, though?

Because this line outright tells us that: 1) Dottore spent sleepless nights in Tatarasuna reflecting on himself; 2) That he, perhaps sincerely, pitied the people of Tatarasuna for not seeing past his facade.

I also think that the use of the word 'lament' is very interesting. To lament means to express sorrow and regret for something. I would think that this implies Dottore feeling remorseful for not just who he was, but what he would do to Tatarasuna. To provide further proof, I think it is important to look at the expression on the furry monster's face (as Nahida portrays it) when it laments to itself:

(What a cute little thing.)

It looks a bit... upset, doesn't it? Like it is mad at itself as it gazes into the water. This expression, combined with his thoughts and the use of the word 'lament' gives us a clear sign that many ignored: Dottore isn't as shallow of a villain as we thought.

Later in the cutscene, Nahida says:

"But the monster soon found solace when another came to live among the foxes who was not their kin: a kitten, carved from the wood of a white tree, who had been abandoned by the humans."

And in that moment, we see a wide-eyed little monster gazing at the kitten:

(Feels really silly to use this as an example but you've gotta trust the process)

Here, Dottore found someone like himself. An outcast, a creature that did not quite fit in with the ordinary humans - someone who could understand Dottore's loneliness and ostracization. After getting chased out of his hometown for his blasphemous ideas, after getting expelled from the Akademiya and possibly exiled to Aaru Village for his heretical views - Dottore had finally found someone to whom he could say: "See? They will never accept us. It is you and I against them, for they will never understand us."

What person wouldn't seek companionship, after all?

But things didn't turn out the way Dottore expected them to. Unlike Dottore, Scaramouche didn't need to hide his true identity in order to be accepted by the people of Tatarasuna. Thus, the following happened:

"Furious at this happy resolution, the monster lit a fire on the mountain. The terrified animals panicked as the fire spread..."

... and we know the rest. What matters is this: Dottore was angry and jealous of Scaramouche. Exiled from his hometown, rejected by his peers, insulted and looked down upon just for wanting to destroy the imbalance between Man and God - and along comes a puppet, a creation of the Raiden Shogun, who receives acceptance and guidance from the people of Tatarasuna. Not just that, but the only creature who could share Dottore's loneliness is whisked away from him, proving once again that Dottore will never know what it means to have a true companion.

Thus he tricked Scaramouche into believing that Niwa had betrayed them, had him join the Fatui and later used him as the blueprint for the creation of his Segments. Dottore basically ruined Scaramouche's life out of bitter jealousy.

That should be it about Tatarasuna for now. What I'd like to focus on next is the conversation between Dottore and Nahida in the 3.2 Archon Quest.

There are a few lines that interest me, so I'll go over them one by one.

Dottore uses a lot of big words to sound like he's saying something profound when in reality he's saying nothing at all (a nice callback to his Commedia Dell'arte counterpart), but there is one thing that both he and Nahida place great emphasis on: the fact that Dottore, smart as he is, cannot make peace with himself.

First to say it is Dottore. After asking Nahida for her opinion on his Segments, he says:

"Indeed. It's difficult for humans... to make peace with themselves, not to mention oneself from a different period."

The line still feels out of place. It sounds as if he is musing to himself.

Again, we get a line about his Segments, after Nahida asked him to erase them:

"You were observing me, and that's how you know I've long grown tired of their doubts and endless arguments."

I think it's safe to assume that the arguing is a metaphor for his struggle of self-acceptance. It seems every Segment has something to say to the others, but more on that later.

Nahida uses Dottore's own words against him:

"Like you said, it's difficult to make peace with yourself. Being as smart as you are, have you managed to do that?"

It's important to note that Dottore doesn't answer that question, but even without that, it's obvious to us, the players - of course Dottore hasn't managed to do that.

Whenever Nahida questions the relationship between his Segments, Dottore easily changes the subject. For example:

"Is the relationship between all the versions of you really that bad?"

"I don't think there's any need to dwell on that. The surplus versions of me can be exchanged for a Gnosis. Do you think anyone can offer themselves at a higher price?"

His Segments all argue constantly. When considered that they are replicas of Dottore at different stages of his life, this takes on an entirely new meaning - beyond his facade, Dottore is a man who can barely make out who he is.

Consider this also: in "A Winter Night's Lazzo", Columbina tells him, "You're looking very young today, Doctor."

To which Dottore replies, "You know very well that I do not take that as a compliment."

A piece of dialogue that had been brushed off by many, myself included - until I realized what this might imply. Dottore finds Columbina's comment insulting because he hates who he is. He hates the younger versions of himself because they represent a Dottore who didn't have the knowledge he has at this current stage of his life. They weren't as smart, as knowledgeable. But that's not really the full extent of it, of course.

Dottore was never fully accepted by anyone, this we have established. In the Akademiya, the students called him a 'madman', a 'monster' (as said in the Wise Doctor's Pinion). When we meet him in the 3.1 Archon Quest, he is referred to as 'The Outcast'. He is always being alienated, but could we assume that he just accepted this rejection and decided to embrace the titles people had thrown at him? This is just... very bold speculation, of course. It is impossible to deny that Dottore didn't always naturally stand out due to his heretical views, but I think it's worth considering that he could have just chosen to be the monster people thought of him as. After all, in the confrontation between him and Niwa, Dottore tells Niwa to think of him as a monster and a demon (for a reason that was... meant to be comforting? Not very important right now).

Consider also how different all the Segments sounded when they found out that they were being erased. All of the voices, along with their manner of speech, varied greatly; I interpreted this as proof of the many masks Dottore has worn over the course of his life. Dottore abandoned whatever humanity he had and decided to embrace the mask of a monster, constantly reinventing himself because he isn't secure in his identity - perhaps he doesn't have one at all. He is a scholar, a Harbinger, a researcher - but without those titles, what is left? What is he left with when he sheds those facades? The constant dodging of Nahida's questions about his Segments, the arguments and the worries of said Segments, the introspection in the cutscene about the Tatarasuna incident - indeed, Dottore is a man filled with self-hatred. A lonely outcast who has never known the comfort of kinship. A monster who swallowed his loneliness and dedicated his life to research.

That should be it, I suppose. My brain is fried and if I remember anything that I might have missed, I'll add that info later.

I want to mention one thing: this doesn't mean Dottore is a misunderstood good guy - doesn't take a genius to know that that is not true. Dottore has no regard for human life (which is ironic, considering how he believes humans have great potential and he wants them to be equal with the Gods). He has hurt so many and I'm sure he will continue to do so. He is evil, but it should be noted that he was once just an ordinary human, too. There must be an explanation for why he is the way he is. It's easy to paint him as just a monster because damn he's good at what he does; but I like to think that there is a layer to him that we just haven't fully seen yet. I'm excited to find out more about him when Snezhnaya gets released in like 2 years... ha. If you've read this far, thank you a lot! Curious to know what you guys think. I love Dottore

#il dottore #dottore #lore speculation #genshin impact #zandik #i love dottore!

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elysiansparadise · 1 year

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Synastry Observations VII

🤎Mercury conjunct IC is a beautiful aspect that a couple can have. Both will love to talk about the past, their childhood and get to know each other deeply, expect to have long and deep talks. They will be very curious to know the core of their special person, to know even the smallest detail of their heart and they will easily remember everything the other tells them. They will be confidants, best friends, lovers and a safe place in which they will feel safe to discuss issues that others would consider intense or very deep. It seems that they can read each other's minds and they will understand each other perfectly without using a single word. They will be very aware of each other and will always take their emotions and needs into account.

🤎When there’s a Lilith-Mars aspect, it shows a power couple, they stand out for being very ambitious and being each other's partner in crime, there is nothing that this couple cannot achieve. They empower each other and when they are together they feel more confident, more attractive and more capable of facing whatever comes their way. The sex between them is fascinating, passionate and a unique and intense experience, both take the other to new worlds of pleasure and satisfy each other like no other person ever could. Much sexual affinity and desire for the other from the beginning.

🤎Since we talked about Vesta recently, when the North Node-Vesta conjunction is present, it usually indicates that both can bring the other closer to their passions or discover a deeper side of life, they seem to help the other person find a purpose and have a more unique and own vision of life. Vesta person can bring passion to their partner's life and the idea that there are still people you can trust, unconditional and very supportive people. While North Node person can help their partner to focus their passions and realize their potential either in their talents or as a person. They both support each other whenever they can and are happy to have the other in their lives.

🤎Do you want to know what was the first impression of another person when they met you? See which of their houses your MC falls into. Remembering what I have always said, first impressions are ruled by the MC, and the person who always feels the effect of an overlay is the house person. I've noticed that when your MC falls into an Earth house of someone there can be vibes that the person is out of your league.

🤎If your Moon falls in your partner's 6th house, they can see you as a great support in their life, as someone very faithful and reliable. In the same way, they may think that it is difficult for you to open up emotionally and that you can demand a lot of yourself. They may find the way you care about them and their well-being sweet, and they will love getting to know your more emotional and caring side. They will greatly admire your altruism and the delicacy with which you treat both them and other people. They will see you as a strong person who has been through a lot of hard things in life and is going strong. Deep down they can intuit that your emotions are intense and that can attract their attention a lot.

🤎When there is a Uranus-Moon aspect, it indicates that this relationship will be something totally new for you, something very different from the old relationships you had. Uranus person will help your partner to get out of the routine and will bring new things to this person's life, new sensations, new activities and new airs. Moon person will give you stability and the confidence to open up to your partner, a lot of sweetness, support and warmth. These relationships usually start as friendship, like a lighthearted relationship in which they know many things about the other and have fun like never before, but gradually progresses to a slightly more romantic taste, but it doesn't matter if they become a couple, the touch of friendship will continue to be present.

🤎The sextile between Mercury-Mercury facilitates understanding, however different they may seem at first glance, they may have similar opinions and ways of seeing things. The conversations are fluid and something that arises harmoniously, without anything feeling forced or without those awkward silences. They can enjoy spending time together and doing activities that the other has not done that they mostly end up liking.

🤎The opposition between Moon-Venus is an aspect that might seem tense, but it can be the start of something very nice indeed. Both can show the other things or forms of affection that the other did not know or was not used to, but that will undoubtedly make them feel better, comfortable and happy. There is a lot of sweetness, but both are aware of the differences they may have with respect to the other, they will always try to approach these differences with respect, they will be very understanding with the other, especially if they want to take things slowly. A common aspect in slowburn, because they really take the time to understand and be fascinated by what makes the other different from them.

🤎If your Moon falls in your partner's 5th house, you will make them feel like a child again. They may feel that their life is happier when you are around. You will teach them to take things a little more lightly and help them have a good time. You will evoke in them the most emotional and expressive side even if they do not see themselves that way. You can inspire them a lot if they are into art and are likely to dedicate songs to you. They see you as a fun, warm and expressive person, but above all, honest with what you feel. They can feel that you are very transparent with what you feel and they love that. They find you charming and charismatic.

🤎Your Saturn falling in their 7th house will make them see you as someone who takes relationships seriously, as a committed person looking for something long term. On many occasions this overlay shows that the other person knew that they could have a stable and lasting relationship with you. They see you as a partner who, although somewhat serious at the beginning, gives them stability and a favorable opinion regarding long-term relationships. You give them that trust and feeling of reliability that they could never have.

🤎Venus trine or sextile Chiron causes this healing through love. Both will be filled with affection and will understand any emotion that the other person feels. They will love each other through thick and thin and seek to support each other to get ahead. Venus person will accompany Chiron person whenever he needs it, without falling into savior complex attitudes, all from a healthy perspective. Venus person will tell Chiron person how proud they are of them and give them a very pure and unconditional love. Chiron person will love every part of their partner, both physically and emotionally, they will speak well of them and support them in whatever is in their power, they can help them have more self-esteem and self-acceptance.

🤎The harmonious aspects between Vesta-Saturn give a lot of devotion to the couple, both work hard for and for the relationship and will always respect their partner. Both will fully trust each other and seek to keep any promises they make, they will support each other even when things are difficult and they will seek to solve any inconvenience that arises. The passion will be lasting and can improve a lot over time, they will not do things without the consent of their partner and they will respect all the boundaries of their beloved. They may think of marriage prematurely but take the time to see how the relationship continues to develop. They may want to have the other person in their life regardless of whatever.

🤎Lilith-Venus aspects generate a fun, hot and very flirtatious dynamic. They will both love to tease each other, they will stare into each other's eyes feeling that burning in their hearts and those hypnotizing effects that they have for the other. Lilith person will be amazed by the beauty of their partner from the beginning, they will fantasize about the idea of being loved and desired by the other person with the same intensity that they do, they will be attentive to the other and pay special attention to what they say and makes your person special. Venus person on the other hand, fascinated by the appeal of their partner, they will find them irresistible and appealing, as well as mysterious and complex, they will be intensely attracted to them and they will love to have their attention and love all to themselves. Both parties will be protective of each other, there will be a lot of attraction from the first meeting and this will not stop over time, it will get bigger and bigger. If the aspect is tense, there may be some jealousy.

🤎If your Rising falls in their 4th house they may see you as a very trustworthy person from the start and in fact it may be very easy for them to open up to you. You will give them a sense of familiarity even without your realizing it, they will not feel judged by you and they will feel understood and "finally at home". They will see you as a person who is looking for things in the long term, someone who takes themselves and others seriously, but above all as a very careful person and attentive to the needs of others, to their needs.

🤎When Chiron aspects their 7th house cusp or falls in their 7th house, it can indicate that you can heal their vision of love, marriage, or relationships in general. Both may have the same fears in love [of infidelity, premature divorce or any type of representation of betrayal], but they may see in you that you are different from everything that torments them in relationships, that you are different from those that they betrayed or lied to them.

🤎If your Venus falls in their 7th house they will find your company charming, they will really like having you around... maybe they will like it too much. You will have them thinking about romance, weddings, love and you will bring out their cheesiest side in such a way that they will look unrecognizable not only to themselves, but also to others. They can see you as a person with whom to have a wonderful serious relationship, a dream come true and above all they will see you as an incredible couple, someone who matches each of their boxes.

🤎When Mars opposites Mars, it shows a relationship with a lot of sexual chemistry, both motivate the other easily and sexually they can understand each other quite well. However, there may be difficulties in agreeing on their day-to-day activities, as they will do things very differently from each other. This can be balanced if Saturn or Venus makes positive aspects with Mars, favoring those who understand each other or at least try to understand each other. This relationship can be favorable if both people are patient and do not want to dominate the other.

🤎When there is an aspect between Saturn-Rising, both can motivate each other to grow as people and continue to improve either personally or academically / at work. They will feel that they must be the best version of themselves and this relationship can bring a lot of maturity and growth to both of them. They will see the other person as very centered, stable, and as someone not to be immature with. They will learn to take themselves and life more seriously. They can be very meaningful to each other regardless of the passage of time.

🤎Venus-Jupiter conjunction, a couple whose love is not only evident to themselves, it is evident to the whole world, it is the classic couple who, before being a couple, were mistaken for one. There was always a romantic tension between them, because no matter how moody or distant they may be with others, between them they were light, joy, love and fantasy. They bring out the best in each other and enjoy spending time with each other, because they not only like each other's physique, they love their way of seeing life, their values and their sense of humor, they seem to be aligned and have been destined to meet. Detailed with the other, loving and always supporting and advising the other.

🤎The couple that has a Mercury trine Pluto in synastry will always be fascinated and intrigued by their partner's way of thinking, delighted to know what goes on in that mind that they like so much. There will be many existential conversations between the two, they will talk until night falls about the past, about good and not so good things that have happened to them, and about any topic that crosses their minds, since trust is the strongest foundation on which the relationship will be built. They will find what the other has to say or think very interesting and they will seek to consult the opinion of the other when they can. Both may have a sense of humor not suitable for the sensitive and they will enjoy sharing it with the other, as they will complement each other just fine.

🤎Your Jupiter falling in your partner's 11th house will help them to have a more positive vision of the future and motivate them to go after their goals and those things that they only see as dreams or desires. You will fill them with energy and bring into their lives positive perspectives that will change their perception of themselves and their potential. Likewise, thier friends may really like you or at least have a positive opinion of you. You can encourage your partner to be more open and connect with lots of nice people in your own circle.

#synastry astrology #synastry observations #synastry notes #synastry #astrology #astro content #astrology notes #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations

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erosastro · 7 months

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｡:ﾟSynastry Observations ❣️ﾟ:｡(part 1)

❣️Venus conjunct Moon

I cannot stress enough how much I love Venus conjunct Moon aspects in synastry. It's so so wholesome. You instantly trust each other and there's so much of care and understanding between the two of you. Even in my close friendships, this is a really beautiful aspect to have because there's so much of empathy and love and something just clicks between you two, especially a tighter orb. Venus person sees right through the Moon person and the Moon person can express themselves freely and openly, being at their most vulnerable without worry about judgement.

❣️Moon opposite Moon

So hear me out... I know this might be controversial but I love this aspect so much. Two people who are so different in so many ways but at the core, they're the same. They can learn so much from each other, especially if they both have the patience to. This is a ride or die pair who are super drawn to each other and constantly find themselves in the other person's presence. My personal favourites that I've seen are cancer/capricorn and libra/aries. This can also work well for Sun opposite Sun.

❣️Venus conjunct Pluto

So this might also be a controversial one lol. It's tethering dangerous territory, honestly because it can get obsessive really quickly and as a result turn toxic but, if both individuals are mature enough, this is unconditional love and devotion to each other and a magnetic attraction, where the couple cannot keep their hands off of each other. This can work really well imo if as I said, two of them are mature enough and there are other good aspects to support this.

❣️Venus opposite Uranus

I call this one my "love at first sight" aspect. It's so so magnetic and the two are so drawn to each other, there's a pull they can't explain and they're completely fascinated by the other person. It can get unpredictable especially with Uranus being unpredictable paired with Venus who wants stability. I do like this aspect though especially, again, if paired with other good ones because it can be so exciting, constantly keeping the other person on their toes.

❣️Mercury trine/sextile Mars

The two bond over common interests and can stimulate each other's minds comfortably. They're the adventurous couple, always coming up with new and random dates where other people would be like??? seriously?? I remember having this with an ex and our idea of a fun date was reading our books together, which other people found strange but it's because we bonded over a common interest. This couple rarely falls into a monotonous routine and always tries to keep life exciting.

❣️Sun sextile/trine Jupiter

This couple loves being in each other's presence and always finds themselves in a good mood when the other person is around, especially for the Sun person when Jupiter person is around them. They're understanding of each other's flaws and can focus on the bigger picture rather than being too nit picky and irritating the other person.

❣️Jupiter sextile/trine Neptune

Apparently this is rare? I'm not entirely sure as I've only heard that recently but I suppose it's because Neptune spends a while in each sign? In any case I did have this aspect once with a partner. They're so generous and supportive of one another's goals and dreams, jupiter constantly uplifting and encouraging Neptune and Neptune inspiring Jupiter. Lovely spiritual and idealogical growth can be achieved with this aspect.

❣️Saturn trine Sun

Having good Saturn aspects in synastry is very important in my opinion because Saturn does dictate the longevity of a relationship and it represents karma. It's not to say if there's bad aspects, the relationship won't work out, but it certainly wont help, which is why Harmonious aspects here are important. There's a good balance with this aspect and mutual effort towards the relationship, paired with loyalty and confidence. You see this aspect a lot with married couples.

❣️Ascendent conjunct Sun

They find a lot in common with each other and have a lot of respect and admiration for the other person. Also something I see in either longer friendships or romantic relationships. I have this with my best friend as well. There's just similar goals and mindsets and the two can work in beautiful harmony together. There's strong physical attraction too in romantic relationships and some people also call this one the "love at first sight". They both wish to be like each other.

❣️Venus conjunct Mars

Talk about sexual attraction... this is Instantaneous "I want to rip your clothes off right here right now". There's strong romantic and sexual attraction and this aspect ensures sex life can never get boring between the two especially paired with other Harmonious aspects. This can work well platonically too because it can be exciting. This is a classic aspect for synastry I think a lot of astrologers love.

｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡

Part 2 soon (bc I reached the audio limit...)

#Spotify #astro notes #astrology #astro observations #synastry #synastry observations #astro placements #synastry notes #Venus aspects #Mars aspects #Moon aspects #Mercury aspects #Jupiter aspects #Saturn aspects #Ascendent aspects

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not-to-me · 3 months

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Something About These Hands (DW One-Shot)

(My gif. Also my first gif ever, so don’t judge it sbbsh)

Twelfth Doctor x GN!reader — 18+ NO MINORS

Requested by anon: “may I request the twelfth doctor with a daddy kink and hand worship please?”

Summary: The heating system of the TARDIS had malfunctioned, leaving you cold as the Doctor tries to fix it. He eventually finds ways to make you forget about the cold.

(Yes, i know the Doctor is supposed to run cold, but I have a hc that every incarnation is different in that aspect and Twelve definitely runs hot)

Warnings: light smut, no sex, mentions of it though, pre-established relationship, hand kink, daddy kink.

———

“Doctor, I— I’m cold,” you said as you stiffly stood and watched the Doctor work on fixing the TARDIS’ heating system.

“No wonder! You humans are always complaining about something. Really, it’s a wonder it’s not a sport at your Olympics.” He grumbled the last part primarily to himself, but you heard it just as well and rolled your eyes. Always the grumpy old man, your Doctor. You knew him well enough to know he’s softer than he likes to admit, however.

“But Doctor—“

“Sit down. I’m almost done recalibrating it…” the Doctor trailed off as he refocused on the task at hand. You sighed shakily from the cold and returned to the chair you had equipped with plenty of blankets. Sitting down, you grumpily pulled the blankets around you once more, trembling slightly from the low temperature of the control room.

———

You must have dozed off because you jolted awake when the Doctor loudly and proudly exclaimed that he had fixed the problem. Having gotten up from under the console, he approached you with a soft look on his face.

“Give it an hour, and the temperature will have returned to human standards…” The Doctor tilted his head, examining you.

You only made a pitiful noise in reply. Your sleep-addled mind and the still quite freezing room had dulled your mind.

“Tsk, you really are cold, aren’t you?”

You glared at him. How could he have doubted that? Then, a full-body shiver made you look away again.

“Come here,” he said, “Let me warm you up, sweets.” He stood close to you now. One of his hands came to rest on your cheek, guiding you to look up at him while he placed the other on the back of your neck. He was surprisingly warm, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, sitting up straighter in the chair in favour of being closer to him. He pulled you in for a hug. Your cheek rested against his tummy as he stood and held you, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb against your neck. You could feel the heat slowly returning to your body, but you still shivered. Despite your coldness, you felt warm, fuzzy feelings well up inside you as the Doctor comforted you. He could be a little rude at times, but often enough, he was like this. It tugged at your heart in a certain way.

Then his hand on your neck squeezed slightly in what was probably meant to be a comforting gesture, but your brain made connections faster than you could repress them. That felt good. You made a noise that was part sigh, part whine, but the Doctor didn’t say anything. He only retreated from the hug and knelt down on one knee so he could run his warm hands up and down your arms, heating you up. You giggled as the Doctor got his concentration face on, clearly intent on his mission. He finished by grabbing both your icy hands between his warm ones and sandwiching them there for a bit. You looked into each other’s eyes at this moment, and you saw the care he had for you whilst he saw the love you had for him, and he wondered why. But that was a question for another time. Your eyes fell to your entwined hands. Or, more accurately, the Doctor’s hands. You had always had a fascination with them, so skilled in what they did. They were pretty, too, with wrinkles and veins and everything. You got lost in them.

Once the Doctor was satisfied with your hands’ temperature, he lifted them to kiss them both, making you lift your eyes to his once more. Something must have given your thoughts away because the Doctor had gained a mischievous look on his face.

“You’re thinking so loud I can almost hear you,” he said, a smug grin appearing on his lips, then added, “Careful, you might pull a muscle.” You glared at him again, this time half-heartedly, as warmth pooled in your lower regions. You could taste the sudden sexual tension in the air.

He narrowed his own eyes and stood up, bringing a hand up to your chin, holding it between his thumb and index finger, making you look up at him once more from your seated position. His lips were slightly parted, and you subconsciously mimicked him, sparking an impulse in the Doctor’s mind even he couldn’t resist.

His thumb moved to rest on your lower lip, pushing it down slightly, but mostly waiting to see what you would do. He didn’t have to wait long as your pupils dilated, and you submissively darted out your tongue to lick the pad of his thumb. Your eyelids fluttered, and you sighed, taking his thumb between your soft lips.

The Doctor looked at you like you were his whole world at that moment. Here you were, little, fragile, human you, suckling on his thumb and looking up at him with admiration in your eyes. It was his turn to shiver.

“Something about these hands, yes?” His voice had deepened and gained a more gravelly tinge. You hummed around his thumb in reply. His blue eyes darkened in lust as you bobbed your head as if you were sucking his cock. This made him pull out his thumb, only to replace it with his index and middle fingers. First, resting the tips on your bottom lip, denying you the right to have them in your mouth and making you whine, then slowly pushing them inside. Your tongue immediately caressed them, working them like they could bring him to his peak. You lustfully moaned around his fingers, erasing any doubt in the Doctor’s mind that you were aroused.

“That’s good, little one…” he praised you, absolutely transfixed on your lips and the feeling of your mouth around his slender but calloused fingers. You silently thanked the universe for giving him the idea that he should play the guitar, as you enjoyed the added texture immensely. Both now, but also when he’d make love to you, grabbing your hips and waist, or when he’d fuck you hard and hold your wrists above your head. The calloused fingertips always did something to you.

The Doctor started thrusting his fingers into your mouth, careful not to trigger your gag reflex. Your eyes glazed over, and you stilled your movements, letting him fingerfuck your mouth. You squirmed slightly in your seat, feeling very needy, but you mainly remained still for him, earning his praises.

“So dirty, letting daddy fuck you like this… Those pretty lips of yours are always just begging for something between them; you don’t even care what it is.” He chuckled, then added an afterthought.

“But I can tell these fingers are probably your favourite.”

You whined, but you didn’t care enough to deny it. The Doctor chuckled and, with his unoccupied hand, gently caressed your cheek and leaned down to kiss your forehead softly. He retreated his hand from your warm mouth, making you feel almost empty.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom, little one. I think you need more than just daddy’s fingers by now.”

#twelfth doctor x reader #the doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #x reader #twelfth doctor smut #doctor who smut #smut #my fic

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caelesblues · 11 months

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across the universe (part 1)

⋆｡°✩ what it's like to love a member of the astral express, even when you're universes apart ⋆｡°✩

c.w./t.w. fluff with bits of angst, lowercase intended, intense word vomit

word count: 2,750

characters: welt yang, himeko, dan heng

gn!reader, title is inspired by "across the universe" by baek yerin, notes at the end.

part 2 (with march 7th, stelle, and caelus)

“why are you still with him? he left you didn’t he? he’s probably never going to come back anyways, so why are you still waiting?”

“how are you sure that he's not cheating on you out there? i mean you said it yourself, he’s traveling to different planets, who’s to say he’s not fooling around every now and then.”

“you’re wasting your time by staying with him, just break up with him and move on already. you’re not even sure if he’ll still love you after all these time away from one another.”

life really does like to throw curveballs at you every now and then huh? you would have never thought your relationship with welt would become conversation fodder for anyone, and you could’ve never predicted that they’d be bold enough as to outright say to your face their unwarranted opinions and remarks. but you can’t necessarily blame them as well, seeing as how such an upstanding man as welt yang just suddenly upped and left to join a group of intergalactic adventurers to go on, as they would say, a “trailblazing expedition” across the starry plains.

okay so maybe it wasn’t as sudden as you make it out to be (like he just disappeared into thin air one day), but it was news enough for everyone else as well that at some point people were questioning your relationship with him.

at first people would just extend a sympathetic pat on the back or say some comforting words when welt just left, it then morphed into others skirting around the topic of him and your relationship for fear that they might upset you when a considerable time has passed since he first left, and now they’re outright questioning your loyalty to him when it’s been years since everyone had seen him last.

it truly fascinated you how they once looked at you with concern and pity as if to say “you poor thing, left all alone”, but now their gazes lock onto you with a look of incredulousness as if to communicate “what is wrong with you, you’re waiting for nothing”.

but all this talk just proves to you how the general public don’t really know either of you properly, and how other people’s views of your relationship will never really mean anything. while to others welt might seem like such a cold and distant (no pun intended) lover ever since he left to pursue adventures across the galaxy, it could not be further from the truth of who he really is as your lover. the thing about a man such as welt is that he is a stable and reliable presence in your life, that second guessing has no room in your love for one another.

even across the universe this aspect of him and your relationship did not change the slightest, in fact your relationship just got stronger through the challenges you’ve faced together brought about by your unique circumstance. sure communicating with each other when you’re so far apart is quite the herculean feat (especially when he finds himself in missions, in which he can become virtually uncontactable sometimes), but welt will always find a way to send you a heads up of his current situation and will either message or call you once he finds an opportunity to do so.

he seems to have a knack for knowing when you’re suddenly doubting yourself and where you stand in his life, and so he does his best to constantly remind you of just how important you are to him and that this distance between you can never overpower the overwhelming love he has for you. welt is always making time for you even when he is considerably busier, even finding ways to include you in his adventures, be it through pictures, videos, or taking you on a virtual tour on their current stop.

that’s why you pay no mind to the naysayers trying to chip away at your resolve, doing their best to plant seeds of doubt and mistrust in your relationship with welt. they’ll never know of the numerous ways you’ve both cultivated a routine with one another to accommodate your (incredibly) long distance relationship, will never be privy to how you’ve learned to better trust one another at such a crucial turning point in your lives, the ways you’ve managed problems along the way, and how incredibly in love you both still are.

what others say don’t matter to the both of you, what’s important is even with the universe itself separating you both, you can always count on each other.

space is cold, both the great big universe out there and the spaces beside you that himeko used to occupy. you guess this is to be expected, after all himeko has always exuded such an incredible sense of warmth about her. Ever since you both were kids she had radiated even amongst her peers- alway getting high remarks, easily making friends, showcasing her myriad of talents, getting recognition after recognition; it always felt like a person such as herself would be an untouchable figure, but still had enough grace to mingle amongst the common folk.

admittedly this is how you felt when you first met her when you were kids, but the closer you two became the more you understood that while himeko is undoubtedly someone who is always destined for greatness, at her very core she is just someone who has a heart of gold.

ever since then you’ve stuck by her side, the once distant admiration for the girl you held in high regards had slowly but surely blossomed into an unfathomable affection reserved solely for her. and so it left you completely in shock when you learned that himeko, a person so incredibly bright, warm, and loved by all, had harbored a crush on you as well. it was kind of hard to fathom what aspects of you she finds desirable in any way, but just as you found comfort in her, himeko also found warmth and solace in you too.

after the confession everything just fell into place, and the rest was history as they say. you both became each other’s beacon of light, warding off the coldness and darkness the world likes to throw at the both of you from time to time. since becoming himeko’s lover, you have had the privilege to see all kinds of sides to her that the public doesn’t necessarily have the chance to witness, and being there for her during one of her life’s biggest projects-reviving the astral express.

day in and day out you can be found helping her fix the train, from simply handing her tools to getting yourself all tangled up in numerous wires. along the way you’d both started to learn more about the express, and you’d witness there and then the determination that grew on himeko’s face-you knew that once the train was up and running again, she’d take for the stars just like akivili and the nameless did once.

just as you were excited for when the express would be in commission again, you were just as nervous to what it meant for the both of you. you and himeko knew that no one could stop her from leaving, not even you (as if you would ever in the first place, really). and so all you could really do from then on was countdown the days until she inevitably had to leave, savoring the moments of warmth you’d still get to relish in while she’s still here with you.

days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years-it took a long while, but the astral express was finally ready to go. the day of her departure is as clear as ever, watching alongside everyone else as himeko commandeered the train into finally take off for the great unknown, replaying the last face to face conversation you’d have with her for a while,

(“so uh….this is goodbye then huh?”

“i guess it is, but i’ll come back someday”

“will you though? and for how long will you be gone?”

“I don’t really know myself, you can’t really be too definitive with things like this”

“i know. i’ll miss you a lot though”

“i’ll miss you too. hey let’s promise each other to always keep in contact no matter what, ok? that way we'd still have each other even if i’m docked on some planet far away.”

“of course, i gotta make sure you don’t forget about me”

“and i have to make sure that even when i’m gone, you won’t find someone else to replace me”

“i could never”).

a lot of time has gone by since then but you both have kept true to your words of still making time for one another, and as the years have passed you and himeko have cultivated a routine-one that ensures that at least you still get to spend time with one another, even if just through virtual means. and it’s through these moments that you realize that no matter how far himeko may be nor how long you’ve gone without her by your side, she still radiates the same warmth you’ve always loved about her.

the fear you initially had of how himeko would go cold on you once she leaves, gradually dissipated when she showed you how utterly devoted she still is, how she never changed amidst the ever growing spatial distance between the both of you. you can still feel her happiness for you when you recount all the things you’ve achieved, how she’s always lending a sympathetic ear to your rants though she may be busy, the words of comfort through your times of need, and most especially how you still consider each other as home.

it’s through all these kinds of moments that you realize your fear was unfounded, that no matter where she is, your himeko will always be someone you can always find peace in. and that for her, she knows that somewhere out there she will always have a home to come back, a home in the shape of you. so while the spaces beside you that she once occupied have now gone cold, the love you hold for one another continues to blaze stronger than ever.

“hey, are you still awake?”

“i was just about to go to sleep actually.”

“oh…i’ll just call some other time then.”

“it’s ok, i don’t mind. besides i know you need me right now anyways”

“i don’t want to keep you up though”

“hey, what did i tell you again when you get nightmares?”

“....that i should never hesitate to call you.”

“exactly. ok, so tell me what happened?”

conversations like those are a very common occurrence for you and dan heng. though he keeps on insisting that you didn’t always have to pick up his calls, or that he’s just repeating the same stories over and over again, you shut him down quickly and thoroughly by assuring him that asking for comfort will never be too much for you.

see it was never like this initially, that man always had an aversion to seeking out help from others when he needed it, and you were the one dan heng was always hiding his woes from. for as long as you have both known one another, he had always put up a wall of having to be strong even when he’s so clearly falling apart at the seams. well maybe to you it’s clear as day but for a majority of the people he encounters, dan heng is simply just an impenetrable wall of aloofness.

getting to that point wasn’t an easy task to conquer, it had taken years of knowing and staying by each other to even get to that point. even then there were still times wherein dan heng would withdraw from you entirely, ranging from a few hours to a few days-but by and by, you’d still be there waiting for him patiently and he’d come to you when he finally felt ready to.

this slow but gradual strengthening of bond and trust instilled a confidence in you, that no matter what you’d be able to weather whatever storm may come your way…but things took a rockier turn once he left the luofu, bringing you both back to the days wherein he simply could not be reached. It was already difficult to get a hold of the man in person, but it significantly became harder once he started his starfaring journey with the express.

messages being left on read, calls not being picked up, being stood up on planned video call dates, taking hours if not days to respond-these were things that consistently happened once dan heng became on the run, and you greatly understood why these things are happening in the first place anyway because a lot of the time there are just things out of both of your controls (very distant intergalactic communication being wonky, the different time zones dan heng finds himself in, work that impedes a lot of efforts to connect, etc).

sure it was frustrating to deal with something like that when you never really had to in the past, but what really got under your skin was how you felt he started to drift away the more time he spent away. It disturbed you immensely bearing witness to conversations get shorter and shorter, the once comfortable silence now becoming painful pinpricks that can only be remedied once either of you leaves the call, and how you’ve now once again stood outside his walls.

it was essentially being abandoned again, but this time it felt even more painful knowing that you can’t even confront him as easily as you did once. you were losing your mind as the days passed, trying your best to remedy the situation you’ve both found yourselves in, but it was nigh impossible with a man as adamant in running away like dan heng. the more he fortified his walls the more you were losing hope in being able to fix your relationship, hoping that the next day will at least bring about some good in any way.

it wasn’t really until one day, after they recently completed another expedition that you got dan heng finally opening up to you. detailing how that particular experience made him realize that he was losing you for quite some time now,

(“the couple i met there….they reminded me of us”

“hm? how?”

“they were also going through a tough time, at least the one i talked to said so”

“....do you think we’re going through a rough patch right now?”

“i know we are”)

and thus that entire night was spent talking, remedying, and mending the relationship from the brink of fully collapsing. reminding the man you love that no matter where you both may be he can always turn to you for anything, that the universe itself will never be strong enough to deter you away from him. dan heng also assured you that he’s not going anywhere, even if he gave the opposite impression. that you can also rely on him when you need him, and that he’ll do better from now on.

the days and nights of worrying were undone by his simple action of finally reaching out, of finally letting his walls down for you again. a full night spent reassuring one another, learning how to better trust each other, and finding ways to better navigate your unique relationship. and that’s the thing with loving dan heng, that there will inevitably be downs to accompany the moments of highs, but you two will always find a way to solve the problems you face. though at times it may feel like either one of you is slipping away, one of you will always be able to pull the other back from completely disappearing. that nothing is ever too great for the both of you to face, because you’d always find your way back to each other.

“you ok now?”

“yeah, thank you for listening to me.”

“of course, i’ll always be here for you.”

“i seriously didn’t ruin your sleep?”

“nope”

“well, if you say so.”

“you feel like you can go back to sleep now?”

“yeah, all that talking made me sleepy to be honest”

“good, good. well i’ll also go to sleep now then.”

“good night, i love you”

“night night, and i love you too”

FINALLY IT'S HERE! this blog is not abandoned, i was just working on this one piece for such a long time T_T not only was i busy with other irl things, this work gave me such a hard time since i restarted this so many times already ಢ‸ಢ

this is such a word vomit and i'm not so sure with the formatting (looking at it makes me want to ndaoindawn), i might change it later on. anyways part 2 with the rest of the members will be posted shortly.

i hope this at the very least decent huhuhu. likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated!

caelesblues @ 2023 | do not steal, copy, plagiarize, or repost on any other platform

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr welt #hsr himeko #hsr dan heng #welt yang x reader #himeko x reader #dan heng x reader #honkai star rail x you #caelesblues #C(/˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)Ͻ✎🗒-dani writes #(づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡-dani writes sfw

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damianbugs · 2 months

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i often include some obscure symbolism in my fics without any real desire to point them out but i was rereading an old piece of mine and remembered one i was rather proud of;

it's from YOU MUST KNOW LIFE TO KNOW DECAY. which is a canon-adjacent story about jason's experience with rain throughout his life. it spans over many years, starting from before his parent's death, to the present as red hood.

the rain itself is the massive metaphor and motif, obviously, but within that i snuck in some other key aspects to jason's character. the one i want to talk about it from the second section of the fic (unofficially dubbed "No!" and the period in time where jason was homeless):

in this scene jason's belongings have been dumped out of his bag into the rain over a misunderstanding, amongst these scarce objects are two things — an old book belonging to Willis Todd, and a photograph of Catherine Todd (the one jason has at his place when bruce comes to find him in Batman (1940) #408).

this photo always fascinated me and so i wanted to give it its own backstory. this moment however has two stories happening. a story of sacrifice for Willis, and the story of grief for Catherine.

the book willis used to love and jason remembers him reading often is the last remaining object the boy has to his father (because most of his belongings were left with his neighbour, and jason doesn't get those back until Batman (1940) #426).

unlike a picture or a letter, this book is a vessel between them, nothing about it actually is Willis' other than the memory attached to it. a nod to the fact that even in death, he had nothing other than the memory he left with his family.

catherine however has a picture, something that is entirely hers, but even that is all it is; her face. jason is young when his mother dies, and as he grows up, he'll soon forget the memories he made with her, but he'll never forget her face because of this last photo he has. her existence, prior to the disease and suffering and death, is forever immortalised for jason. she exists only before her death.

neither willis nor catherine are ghosts that follow jason. he mourns them and misses them deeply (and this grief is the entire catalyst for why he runs away in A Death in The Family) — but they don't come to him when he's doused with fear toxin or battling exhaustion. he doesn't see them when he closes his eyes. because they are not concepts he mourns.

they are a book, a photo, people he has lost forever. jason being a young carer, would have had to watch his mother slowly die to her disease, so he knows death in its raw forms. i have spoken before about how jason views love and loss, as being very literal and blunt understandings, and it's the same here.

so, we have a book and a photograph.

the book being destroyed by the rain is another nod to the modern characterisation of Willis Todd (in both canon and fanon). of the explicitly abusive and negligent father. how his character being "ruined" is usually to paint catherine as the weak and pitiful victim of circumstance and nothing more. neither of them have any true personality other than their surface level one's, which are often classist and ignorant.

on the other hand, willis' book being ruined but protecting the photograph of catherine underneath is to represent his story in jason's life. he was an absent idea because he was working to provide for them, jason didn't really know him outside of this story, and willis dies as a mere idea for his family.

it's not enough, however. willis dies, but it's still raining. catherine's photo may have been saved by some of the rain, but jason is still homeless and he will still have to endure it alone.

the second section of this fic is the saddest one to me, because while jason is the only todd present in this scene, there are three stories being told.

#jason todd #willis todd #catherine todd #TODD FAMILY U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS. TO ME.

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initforthelolzz · 4 months

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Luffy’s tendency to self-sacrifice and the way he responds to loss are both incredibly telling aspects of his character. They show his level of love and dedication to other people, but most importantly they show his selflessness. Now, selflessness isn't necessarily a bad thing, but due to the level of selflessness that Luffy displays, it reveals a major character flaw.

Now, I’m not criticizing Luffy’s character, but what I am doing is pointing out something that I’d categorize as a negative character trait. And one that I find particularly fascinating.

Luffy may seem like the typical shonen protagonist on the surface (flawless, stupid, and selfless to a tee). However, if you take a look past surface level then you will find that Luffy is an incredibly complex character. Because while he is incredibly stupid, he possesses a certain multidimensionality that sets him apart from other typical shonen protags.

In regards to that multidimensionality, I’ve noticed that Luffy measures his own self worth exclusively through other people. By his value in the eyes of others. How he can serve them and how much worth he holds in their lives.

Okay but... what the fuck does this mean.

First of all I’d like to discuss Luffy’s tendency to self-sacrifice. Have you ever stopped to notice that every single one of Luffy’s specialized gears has a negative side effect of some kind? Second Gear puts so much strain on his heart that it is said to shorten his lifespan the more often he uses it. Third Gear makes his body shrink. Fourth Gear exhausts his Haki so terribly that he becomes immobile for ten minutes. And I feel like Fifth Gear speaks for itself...

Clearly Luffy has no qualms about sacrificing his body, but why is that? The answer, at least in my interpretation, is that Luffy’s self-sacrifice has entirely to do with the value he places on himself. The catch is that he doesn’t place any value on his own life. Luffy has proven on multiple occasions that he is more than willing to throw his own life away for the sake of others.

We see this in Udon prison, when Luffy was actively poisoning himself to death to make a point, even though it’s difficult to notice how close he was to getting himself killed because Toei decided that if Luffy was dying he was going to look Hot while doing it

We see this again when Luffy climbed the mountain in Chopper’s Arc, destroying his fingers and risking freezing to death all to save Nami and Sanji.

We see this when Luffy fought Magellan in Impel Down, which was the closest Luffy came to killing himself for the cause.

Then again on Whole Cake Island when he tried to let Sanji kick him to death to prove a point. And when he tried to starve himself to death to prove a point. And when he tried to rip his own arms off–

And of course we can’t forget about Thriller Bark. The entire point of Zoro taking Luffy’s pain was to show just how far Luffy was hurting himself in order to protect the crew. There was an entire conversation between the Straw Hats about how unhealthy that behavior was, and how they needed to protect Luffy from himself by getting stronger.

These are all shining examples of Luffy taking selflessness just a little too far. And while placing high value on the lives of others isn’t a negative quality, doing so to this degree isn’t exactly healthy. I say that Luffy holds no value in his own life because he cares this much about other people. He cares more about other people than he does about himself, and is more than willing to die in the process of protecting/saving his loved ones.

I came to this conclusion by looking at the way Luffy handles loss.

And the simple answer is that... Luffy doesn't handle loss. (The entirety of Whole Cake Island was just Luffy outright refusing to lose another loved one)

And when he does... he doesn’t.

Which is exactly what I’m talking about. Whenever Luffy loses people that he deeply cares about he immediately flips his lid. Water Seven and Thriller Bark seemed like all fun and games after watching Luffy grieve the loss of his crew on Sabaody. Seeing him break down like that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch... You can feel just how much this loss has impacted Luffy, and it hurts.

Amazon Lily was largely comedic, which served as a well needed break in between Sabody and all the Horrors of the Summit War. Because of this, the delivery of Luffy’s behavior after the events on Sabody is easy to brush off as a gag joke... but you can’t deny the fact that he overdosed on poisonous mushrooms. And while, yes, Luffy is a fucking idiot, not moments beforehand he was digging through the forest and talking about how many species of mushrooms he knew and all the wacky side effects of eating them. So clearly Luffy knows his stuff, and I think it’s just a little too convenient that he “accidentally almost died of a drug overdose shortly after losing everyone he held dear” after Oda explicitly stated that he knew his shit when it came to eating plants in the woods.

And then, of course, we have Luffy’s breakdown after Ace’s death. Which was even more difficult to watch than Sabody had been.

Are we beginning to see a trend? Luffy will try his damndest not to lose the people he cares about, but it’s impossible to save everyone. On the rare chance that he does lose someone he cares about, he immediately has a suicidal breakdown and gets extremely violent towards himself.

I’m certain that we can all agree that trying to kill yourself as a result of grief is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. Luffy is a completely happy-go-lucky character, with a suspicious tendency to over-sacrifice, yes, but the moment he fails/loses his friends he has a psychotic break. Without other people around him, Luffy suddenly loses all sense of self worth. Because he is nothing without his nakama... right?

It’s so easy to miss this detail about Luffy’s character, and it’s because he’s so good at concealing his negative emotions. Luffy puts on a brave face for the people he cares about, and he doesn’t want people to see him as anything less than a ray of sunshine and a symbol of joy and freedom. His conversation with Jimbei after Marineford was about how he needed to bury his grief for Ace even though it was unhealthy, because Luffy needed to remain strong.

Clearly he’s taken this to heart, because he hasn’t talked about how Ace’s death has impacted him even once. Luffy refuses to show emotional weakness in front of his crew, he is doing all in his power to be strong and support them while asking for nothing in return. Even now Luffy can’t hear Ace’s name without tearing up.

Luffy puts on a strong facade, and it is what makes his self-sacrifice seem so heroic, and what makes it so easy to miss how unhealthy it is. Luffy always saves people at the expense of his own life. He takes his battles incredibly too far, always ending up horrifically injured and using abilities that are detrimental to his body and his health. But he always recovers so easily, so quickly, and it is easy for the viewer/reader to move past Luffy’s self-sacrifice because he moves past it easily.

But why is he so nonchalant about nearly killing himself in almost every battle he places himself in? Simple, it is because he is not afraid of dying. Because in his eyes, he has no worth as a person unless he gives his EVERYTHING to the people he cares about.

Hence, Luffy measures his self worth entirely through other people, and therefore will stop at nothing to protect and fight for others. Because otherwise he is nothing.

I like to think that he developed this mindset as a result of his early childhood. Dragon didn’t want him. Garp didn’t want him. Dadan didn’t want him. Ace didn’t want him. Luffy was only accepted and cared for by others once he proved his worth to Ace and Sabo. Remember? They only started caring about Luffy and accepted him into their group after he got beaten violently for hours to protect their treasure stash. An act of violent self-sacrifice. It earned Luffy two brothers, but it also instilled the idea of his worthlessness unless he serves other people.

Remember when Luffy asked Ace to promise him not to die? I like to read between the lines a little. (Don’t leave me behind, Ace.) (I’m nothing without you, Ace.)

Luffy is a clingy person. He cares so much about other people, and will go to incredible lengths to keep them close. He can be happy, but only with other people. Because he needs other people in order to value his own life. He doesn’t care about himself, he only cares about others.

That is a very unhealthy mindset in this context, and is a major character flaw because of the impact it has on Luffy’s mental health.

But it also shows an incredible duality.

Selflessness is a highly valued characteristic. But in Luffy’s case, he brings it to an extreme. What could be considered his greatest strength is also his greatest flaw.

Luffy is a very admirable character because of this, and I love him a totally normal amount

#ranting again #I could talk about one piece for hours #I could talk about LUFFY for hours #fuck i love him #rant post #one piece #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #straw hat pirates #out here yapping #one piece analysis

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zombie-bait · 3 months

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The Death of a Vampire

Lestat as a protagonist just works so incredibly well and a very significant aspect of that is him being Anne Rice's self-insert. Lived experience can be critical when it comes to writing a good story and many memorable novels will feature elements of that. Anne is built different, though. Lestat (book 2 onwards) is basically Anne's journal for dealing with her grievances and trauma, which, on its own, is a very questionable method of writing. More often than not, it causes him to be characterized inconsistently between books because Anne's own opinions have changed. But it also makes him so real.

You follow his struggles with religion, you see him yearn for forgiveness from a god that has seemingly abandoned him a long time ago and you feel it. The passage I will never get over is in the early chapters of The Vampire Lestat, when Lestat has a breakdown over his mother's (and frankly his own) mortality. He struggles and he cries and he can't get out of bed because there's nothing he can do. Eventually he starts to live again, forces himself to.

But.

"I wandered into the church and on my knees I leaned against the wall and I looked at the ancient statues and I felt the same gratitude looking at the finely carved fingers and the noses and the ears and the expressions on their faces and the deep folds in their garments, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. At least we had these beautiful things, I said. Such goodness. But nothing natural seemed beautiful to me now! The very sight of a great tree standing alone in a field could make me tremble and cry out. Fill the orchard with music. And let me tell you a little secret. It never did pass, really."

I think about those last two sentences a lot. I think about them even more since Anne Rice passed away.

Every page of Interview is spent talking about death and yet (imo) it's only in TVL that you really feel it. Louis in book 1 welcomes death quite readily because, besides his toxic boyfriend and their traumatized daughter, he doesn't have much to live for. He's basically given up by the time Lestat appears. The greatest torture, to Louis, is the knowledge that he can live forever on the suffering of others.

But Lestat is the complete opposite. He wants to listen to music, to explore Paris, to perform on any stage that will take him, to embrace the man he loves and to send his ailing mother letters of his accomplishments. Death matters most to those who are desperate to live and god is he desperate. He's haunted by his mother's sickness, by the wolves on the mountain that threaten to end his life before he's even lived it, the witches place that reeks of meaningless suffering. And in a way, the dark gift provides opportunity to escape that. But it is still death. It takes away Nicki in a very literal way and takes away his mother in a more personal one. Magnus, like death, chose Lestat arbitrarily. He sees the cellar of blonde corpses and knows that he was only one of dozens to meet an untimely death with no explanation.

Lestat also really wants you to know that he is, truly, a good person. He must be. He swears to only hunt criminals and then goes back on that two pages later. He reshapes stories to present himself as the noble protagonist and the audience has no choice but to believe him. He wants, desperately, to be loved for all that he is, man and monster. He wants to be the hero.

He's this awful, fascinating, very human man so clearly born out of the internal struggle to find meaning and love in a cruel, unpredictable world we all tend to share. He's made up of incredibly basic and powerful human desires hidden behind a mask of bravado and I can't recalling seeing another protagonist like him.

(Quick mention: This isn't some kind of "wow Anne Rice is an incredible author who can do no wrong" piece. She's written a lot of fucked up and bad shit that cannot be easily brushed over. But I don't think I'll ever get over reading TVL for the first time. To read someone bare their soul in such a way creates a truly unique experience. A lot of characters in a lot of pieces of media face death, but it's rare to see a character face mortality in such a personal way.)

(Also odds are I've written similar posts to this before but shhhhh these sad gay vampires are all I have)

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aroanthy · 5 months

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thinking about nanami and touga both telling utena not to trust anthy at the end of the series. whilst nanami and anthy being friends is something that makes me bawl like a little baby and overjoys me immensely, ive never bought a reading of nanami post-32 that is anthy positive. like idk how you could get that impression when all she does is talk about how anthy is a terrible and dangerous person. she’s scared of her. and you know she shouldn’t be, but it’s understandable why a 13 year old living in ohtori academy might be scared of someone she already didn’t like after finding out something deeply traumatic regarding them and not having the tools to make sense of it in a compassionate way. and it makes me want to eat drywall

what’s really interesting about all this to me tho is how both kiryuus tell utena not to trust ‘the chairman/end of the world or himemiya anthy/the rose bride’. anthy and akio are a package deal of toxicity and harm to both of them and if that isn’t just the most fascinating thing ever. also the difference between nanami’s ‘chairman/himemiya’ and touga’s ‘end of the world/rose bride’ (nanami giving her warning during the badminton scene, touga giving his at the end of his duel. so much going on here wrt roles and settings and rituals and reality). but getting back to my real point isn’t it so cool (agonising) how nanami and touga are incapable of extending compassion or understanding to anthy despite the fact that they’re the two people who know the most about her other than utena and akio. and like. they don’t know a Lot, but theyve both had a smidge of insight into an abusive relationship that mirrors aspects of their own lives in myriad ways

idk something about the rose bride as a symbol who bears all of humanity’s hatred. and in the end all girls are like the rose bride yes, but key word here is like. an approximation; all trapped, all agonised, yes, but not all literally fucking crucified for eternity by a million swords that shine with human hatred. not abstracted in such a particular and insidious way. i always find anthy/kiryuu parallels compelling wrt issues of race and class and mannnnnn. nanami takes a step away from the duelling game. she’s not out, but she’s not actively partaking, not actively being exploited. touga, whilst a little more overtly involved in stuco business and still meeting with akio, does also take a step away. like, they’re both able to do that. it’s a bit of an artifice, sure, they’re still here, but oh my god oh my god oh my god. theyre not anthy. am i making sense can anyone hear me holy shit

i think what im trying to say is that for everything that both nanami and touga learn about ohtori academy and the people living in it, for everything that forces them to self-reflect and question the ground that they stand upon, they fail to break the chain with it. like, they too contribute to anthy’s abstraction. she’s an idea that they secretly embody/emulate (not sure which word works better for what im trying to say just yet), and not a person who shares experiences with them but is still wholly separate from them. this kind of compassion is like. it’s too hard, when you’re in the situations that all three of them are in. anthy too perceives both of them as nonhuman, but there is a crucial power dynamic at play here. how can you stomach such a kindness to someone you can only see as a poor imitation of the worst parts of yourself, whom you loathe??

^ THIS GUY loves it when characters commit acts of extreme violence against one another that they themselves have experienced. the nanamianthytouga brand

#big ramble tldr i am compelled by stabbing. lots of it. of the self and others (which are muddled by your misperceptions)#yum yum yum #dais.txt #obfuscation abventures

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joey-be-gay · 9 months

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"Miss me?" (Spot/Johnathan x AFAB reader)

(Im sorry if this is formatted weird I've never written on tumbler before 💀)

Warning: sexual/smut, vulgar language, and walking in in you.

Not proofread :p

You and Johnathan were dating before the collider, both of you being scientists. When Johnathan became the spot you stayed by his side, beside him through the whole thing, trying to help him the best you can, finding the scientific aspects of his new form fascinating. You were still very much attracted to your loving, awkward, boyfriend, even in his new form. It was interesting to watch how his body works now, he no longer needed to eat, or drink, or do much of anything to sustain itself, and it didn't seem he had a sex drive anymore, which you missed dearly.

Even before he turned into the spot, having sex was rare, and having anything more than a handjob or oral was even more rare, but now you didn't think he even had a dick, or a mouth. And you were to worried to ask him to pleasure you with his hands, knowing he's probably not into it like he used to be, so you just never asked.

One day, while Johnathan was gone, out doing something, you were left alone in your room, sexually frustrated and pent up. You grab a vibrator,slowly setting it on your clit while you push your fingers into yourself, curling them to hit that extra sensitive spongy spot. You moan his name a few times, flipping between Johnathan and Spot, liking both of the names. You moan more, your legs wrapped around a pillow as you continue to finger yourself, getting closer to cumming.

You moan his name more, not noticing the portal opening at your bedroom door, Johnathan stepping in, looking at you in shock. You notice him and instantly stop, your face going redder than it already was, awkwardly covering yourself. "Sorry" you mumble quietly, embarrassed.

Johnathan slowly inches towards you. "Its alright" he say quietly, pressing his face to your forehead, as if he's kissing it. He slowly holds your shoulders,shuffling into the bed with you in awkward silence. You look up at him, looking at the hole that is his face. He looks down at you, a sense of comfort slowly radiating off of him.

He leans down, his hands going to your hips. "You could always ask for me if you wanted me that bad" he chuckles lightly, looking at you, or at least facing you.

"I didn't think you had much if a libido anymore, so I thought it would be more annoying than fun" you reply quietly, holding his thighs as he sits in front of you, his legs closed.

"Well you could have asked" he says quietly, as if he knows something you don't, a more happy/smirk in his voice.

He slowly pulls you into his lap, showing more dominance than he normally did before the colider. You shuffle, getting comfort in his lap, facing him as your legs wrap around his back. You kiss his jaw, smiling softly, still dripping wet, your vibrator forgotten on the edge of the bed, still running. His hands slowly dip to your cunt, slowly swiping up your slick, feeling how wet you are for him. He let's out a happy hum, sticking his arousal covered finger in his face hole, making another content noise. "So wet for me" he mumbles quietly. "I've never seen you so soked" he says.

"You can taste that?" You ask surprised when he sticks your wettness in his mouth..face? He nods, his hands returning to your hips. "You know, I still have a.." He starts but gets flustered.

"Have a what hun?" You ask gently, waiting for his answer. He slowly sits up a bit more again, drumming his finders along your hips. "I still have a cock" he mumbles quietly, your eyes widen a little, your wettness getting more as you think about riding him, or honestly just giving him a blow job like you used to. You smile. "Where?" You ask, still going at his pace, not wanting to do anything he doesn't want to do.

"Its in my hole" he mumbles, pointing to a hole on his stomach as it moves to his crotch, shrinking in size until it's just a small hole, a little bigger than the width of his cock. You look down at it, watching as his cocks head peeks out, revealing the now pitch black head of his cock. You look in shock, practically drooling over it. You softly grab his shoulders. "Johnathan.. Can I ride you? Please" you as, embarrassed but more horny, to horny to care right now.

He straightens up in shock, the rest of his cock popping out of the hole, as well as his sack. He nods, holding your shoulders as well as you sit up on your knees, still in his lap. You take your hands, pumping his cock, dripping in precum. He whimpers. "Oh fuck!" He whines, his grip on your shoulders tightening. He seems so much more sensitive than he was when he was human. You smile, continuing to pump his cock. "You alright?" You ask softly, still pumping him as you pick up the pace a little. He whimpers,nodding. "Fuck I missed this, I didn't want to bring it up because I don't think you could have sex anymore" you mumble to him, kissing his jaw. You slowly hover yourself above his leaking cock. "Can I put it in? If you don't want to it's totally okay" you say softly, holding his face with one hand and his dick with the other.

He nods eagerly,his hands going to your hips as you sit on his cock, bottoming out quickly, both of you letting out loud moans.

You bounce up and down, moaning as you get cock drunk, Johnathan getting the same feeling from your tight hole clenching down on him.

You're going as fast as you can, but it's not fast enough for johnathan. He grabs your hips, pushing you down onto the bed gently.

You whine at the loss of the thrusts, liking the dominance he's showing for once. He slowly moves into missionary, putting a pillow under your hips/butt to elevate your pussy a little so he can access it better. He slowly possitions himself at your entrance,seeing the still on vibrator on your bed. He grabs it, holding to your clit as he thrusts in. "Oh fuck! Spot! J-johnathan!" You moan, grasping for his shoulders, a little bit of drool spilling out of your mouth, feeling fucking amazing in this moment. He moans, feeling the vibrations as he angles himself to go past the vibrator as he hits your gummy sensitive spot, making you moan and yell his name. He's never been so dominant. He keeps fucking you, whimpering and whining, making you only closer to cumming. "Johnathan! I'm gonna- I'm gunna cum!" You moan, your words slured and breathy he nods, whimper as he mumbles a "me too!" As he sloppily thrusts into you, almost just humping you at this point, his hands on your thighs, pushing them open while he abuses your soaking cunt. You grab his back, holding him in a tight hug as he continues thrusting, his cock and the vibrator shoving you into orgasm as you clench around him. He moans, fucking you sloppily as you cum on him, him cumming not even three minutes later, your arms still wrapped around him, the bed now covered in cum and sweat as he stays inside of you for a little while, your insides hugging his cock as it slowly softens up, still hugging him as you try to catch your breaths. You slowly sit up, johnathans head in your chest. "Want a shower?" You mumbles sleepily. He nods, you both stumble to the bathroom, sitting in the tub as you wash your bodies and hair. After that you change the sheets and cuddle up, smiling as you fall asleep hugging each other.

#spot atsv #spot x reader #spot spiderverse #jonathan ohnn #atsv the spot #the spot #smut #masterlist #afab reader #female reader #no pronouns #across the spiderverse #atsv smut #atsv x you #atsv fic #atsv fanfiction

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stirringwinds · 4 months

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What do you think about Canon's idea of nations having their own special nation language?

Thanks for the question! Personally, I don’t really vibe with it at all? Genuinely no shade at all to anyone who enjoys it; I can see how conceptually, it’s playing with the idea that nations are different from humans and have some things in common. I’m sure there are many ways to be creative and thoughtful with it. I do think there are other ways nations have things in common and feel other nations ‘get’ them more than humans. But to me it shouldn’t be an actual language—and the idea of a universal language personally doesn’t gel with the type of historical hetalia I usually explore.

The acquisition of a language, who is or is not understood, or who has to learn which languages, is inseparable from power, imperialism and the socio-political relations between nations. I don't take this approach because 'no fun magic allowed in fandom' (because nations are magic and magic is fun) but because I think linguistic difference is fascinating to integrate into nation relationships and adds many human layers to the characters. Linguistic dominance (or erasure) is such a tool of empire; we only need to look at how the British Empire privileged English at the cost various languages all across the empire, from Welsh to Māori. Or how the Spanish did over Nahuatl in Mexico and so on. Since empire is a theme I’m interested in exploring in hetalia, the existence of fictional universal language that provides nations with an alternative forum to be heard and understood…rather detracts from the human, historical reality, imo, of how the ability to speak or write and be listened to is inherently unequal. This is an aspect of humanity that I don’t want nations to be exempt from experiencing, particularly when language is such a key part of their being—like I headcanon that one of Alfred's first languages wasn't just English but Carolina Algonquian, the language of the Croatan people at Roanoke, which Arthur did not speak, and that difference was one divide between them as colony and empire—Arthur certainly Anglicised Alfred's education and exerted power over him that way once he claimed him as his 'son'.

Further, if anything, I feel like the “universal language” is just…a bit redundant and not as compelling, when in historically, there are specific lingua francas that have existed for one reason or another, between countries. Which we can explore. And the politics of that ^nicely encapsulates the history of cultural exchange and power dynamics. For example, between the East Asian nations—it’s classical Chinese. Kiku and Yong-soo learned how to write in Yao’s language because he was powerful and culturally dominant. To me, it’s significant if Kiku and Yong-soo could not actually make Yao understand until they learned his language, and he, conversely, could elect to ignore them. There was no universal language they could use (save of course, general human expressions and body language lol—which are not quite sufficient for the specifics of diplomatic relations, trade…and peace treaties). I do think Yao’s a seasoned polyglot who finds learning languages entertaining, and he does eventually learn Korean and Japanese—but the point remains that who gets to be the lingua franca and why such lingua francas exist in humanity, are compelling to explore.

And so all that’s something I want nations to directly partake in and experience just as humanity did, with no convenience of a universal nation language existing at all, in shaping their interactions with one another. It’s just more interesting anyway, for me to think of Alfred and Kiku speaking Dutch because of his long term relationship with Jan (and in real life, that’s the bridge language the Perry Expedition used).

Lastly...for me the notion of a universal language (not just a sixth sense or instinct) that all nations, big or small, colony or empire, are born knowing without having to learn, and with which they can understand every other nation—imo, detracts from the human reality of how all languages are deliberate constructions created and given meaning by a specific community’s cultural context. My two primary languages are from drastically different language families. Even the way I think and to some extent, see the world, is consequently somewhat different whether I am expressing it in English or Mandarin Chinese. Two totally dissimilar writing systems, with no common origin—English belongs to the Germanic branch of the Indo-European family, Mandarin on the Sino-Tibetan. That’s not to say they cannot both co-exist in my head—they definitely can. English and Chinese have mutually incorporated words from each other. But all languages ultimately make sense only in the context of a cultural community that the user is in contact with or at least has exposure to, even if only third or fourth-hand through written materials rather than a native speaker. Even non-verbal languages like sign language—it’s different in different countries. Language isn’t like being born with a sense of smell or touch; it is so much more specific than that, and how it's acquired is such a vital aspect of humanity that I just want these eldritch fucks to experience the same way that we humans do. I hope that explains my take on it!

#hetalia #hetalia headcanons #hws america #hws China #hws south Korea #hws Japan #hws England #hws Netherlands

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