It's okay. I am gonna get you out of here. I promise. Back to the Covey, okay?

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES (2023) dir. Francis Lawrence

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

gandalf and bilbo my dear friends gandalf and bilbo

Danny was a stillborn, and Maddie made a deal with a Devil to give her baby a soul so he could live.

But the Devil couldn't really like, make a wholeass new soul for this. He could grab one of the ones he owned, but that'd just be putting an adult in an infants body, and that whole thought kind of weirded the Devil out.

So, he compromised.

He had a piece of the Laughing Magicians soul, and he just kinda.

Shoved that into the baby corpse.

And holy shit it worked, the kid took it.

Which, awesome! He gets the lady's soul and the kids when it's matured!

Except that was fifteen years ago, and now said Devil is desperately trying to get into contact with Constantine to cancel the deal they signed and agreed to.

Cuz that little baby?

Yeah he's the High King of the fucking Infinite Realms; a being that can not only cancel said contract, but do it and declare the Devil who made it guilty of Treason.

So he needs to find the Laughing Magician fucking yesterday, before the kid looks too closely at why his soul is so weird and figures it out.

shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew shirtless drew

being grounded from devices means nothing when you have a robot boyfriend

I was thinking about how one person mentioned Mike and Vanny reminded them of to yaoi meme and uh…

THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY

Thank FUCK Etho isn't in Real Life, I don't think I'd be strong enough to have evidence of his physical form like that so soon after Tissue Box Reveal™

making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!

Now two individuals have fallen victim to the density of this man's chest alone, when will it end 😭

Danny is summoned but tells each different summoner that he is a different being. 

He just gets fed up with it and says:

“No, I'm actually the fairy godmother and you don’t qualify as cinderella, unless you’re a young girl who wants to go to the ball, are you?” 

“Sorry, I’m a genie and I just lost my lamp, very sorry, didn’t rub the bottle, no wishes for you.”

“For the last time, I am not the ghost king, the lines on the summoning circle are all wrong, see, that right there means I am not of the ghostly category, I’m actually- yeah you got shit calligraphy Chad, will you let me finish I’ve been planning this one for a while--”

“So yeah I’m the easter bunny, what, you think the easter bunny has to be a bunny just because of the name? Not everyone gets an obvious name”

“I’m Batman” 

This last one probably backfires one day when he gets summoned into a cultist’s basement in front of the tied up Literal Batman and he goes double dare on the death by embarrassment by saying that one is a fake and how dare they, for shame, this poor cosplayer--

Bonus: 

He was summoned into the Watchtower by the JL. Danny is wearing a spacesuit costume and goes “Uh.. Houston, we have a problem.” 

imagine maul somehow returns, and Luke, Ezra, and Ahsoka are all like "oh fuck he's back" and calls just like 'who the fuck are you'

he's doing his best

(commission info // kofi support!)

frogggg!!! muah!

…just imagining sleazy neighbor! or butcher! ghost’s balls… balls in mouf… balls balls balllssss hehehehe

bet he’s super sensitive too. cums the second you wrap your mouth around them 🥺👉👈

Sleazy neighbour!Ghost would literally die and ascend if you ever wrapped your delicious little mouth around his fat, heavy, musky balls :((

He's much more sensitive than you'd have thought in general, but maybe it's just that he's touch starved for any sort of soft attention, especially from you </3 Simon can keep up the tough, sleazy appearance all he wants but truth is he's a desperate looser who drools over you and will fap until his cock aches if he ever 'accidentally' mixed your laundry up in the communal laundry room and just so happened to grab your pretty pastel pink frilly panties with a bow which he soils almost immediately with his nasty, thick seed :((

But if your relationship finally progresses enough that you shyly slide your mouth down his cock and to his balls where you oh so sweetly pay extra attention and suck on them? You are honestly a bit baffled at the sudden twitch of Si's hips and in his balls as he's suddenly cumming so hard he almost blacked out, his thick sperm shooting out as he keeps cumming, moaning way louder than you anticipated and urged you between moans to please continue sucking on his twitching balls, please allow him to feel this pleasure longer :((

Kenpachi Realizes Nobody Else Actually Read The Employee Handbook And Decides To Get Inventive, A Story In A Ranking Chart

Yamamoto Thought He Was Punishing Everyone Including Zaraki By Making Him Actually Fill Out That Report, Was Not Ready For Zaraki To Deliver A Twelve Hundred Slide Powerpoint Category Seven Autism Infodump About It A Week Later, A Sequel

saw this on my tl and oh op is so right

credits to @/melondenden on X