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ponderingmoonlight · 2 months

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Reader going from being Gojo's lover to being his worst enemy part l

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader; Geto x fem!reder (18+)

Word Count: 2,6k

Synopsis: You were always the perfect girlfriend for Satoru Gojo: innocent, quiet and weak. Until something inside you snapped. Until you decided you don't want to be weak anymore. Until you realized that Satoru Gojo isn't your lover, but your enemy...

Warnings: big ass tw for anyone who isn't into dark reader, smut in Geto's part (you will be warned in the fic), reader going absolutely crazy, cheating, language, violence, Gojo is a bit of a jerk in this, couldn't bring myself to proofread so excuse spelling mistakes

Notes: I know you guys wanted this in one part but honestly, I've been so depressed these last weeks that I simply wasn't able to write that much. I thought one part is better than nothing though and I hope I'll be able to post part ll within the next days 🤍 If you don't mind, let me know what you think, your support means so much!

“(y/n), are you alright?”

“There’s absolutely no reason to go this hard on her, jerk.”

You stare into the blue sky above, hating yourself for the way your eyes start to sting in tears, for how weak you are. No, not again. Don’t cry in front of all of them because of something so minor. But no, this isn’t something minor.

He beat you again.

“If you want to get better than rank 4, you have to try harder, babe”, your boyfriend jeers at you.

How many times did he say that already? You lost count a long time ago. It’s a miracle that you’re still alive, given the fact that Gojo Satoru seems to lose his patience with you more and more.

No wonder. After all, you are his girlfriend. How is it even possible for the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of this time to have a girl of rank 4? You’ve been stuck with your poor abilities since joining jujutsu high, only able to sneak into training because your parents are friends of the Gojo clan.

It shouldn’t surprise you. Your life has always been like this: useless and puny. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you train, you’ll never be as good as Satoru, Suguru and Shoko. You are nothing more than their shadow, doomed to watch them from the side-lines.

“Hey, are you alright, (y/n)? That looked pretty rough”, Suguru interferes gently while helping you to get up on your wobbly legs.

“You can at least say sorry, y’know? There was absolutely no reason to beat her this hard when she’s already down”, Shoko barks towards your boyfriend.

“Oh don’t worry babe, there isn’t enough space for two legends in this relationship anyway”, Satoru jokes while wrapping his arm around your clearly bruised shoulder tightly.

Even though all you want to do is cry and hide, you force a smile onto your lips. Yes, this is what you always do. Staying by his side, looking pretty and innocent while smiling kindly. Maybe this is your purpose in life, maybe this is everything you could ask for. Many girls are getting blue over the fact that Satoru is your boyfriend. You aren’t in the position to ask for more power, for the strength to stand up for yourself. So many people would kill for a life like yours.

You should be thankful.

Right?

…Right?

-the mission-

“I’m here to save you again, (y/n)! Hey, are you cryin’?”

You hate the way hot tears stream down your face, body too weak to fight against the debris that buried you.

“If I was crying, would you console me? I’d definitely like that”, you hear Mei Mei purr from the other side

“Oh you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”

“Hey, how dare you to talk about (y/n) like that!?”, Utahime cries out.

Your mind goes blank, body sinking into the dirt.

“Oh, you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”

Those words. Those oh so cruel words repeat themselves over and over in your mind. He surely didn’t mean it like that, didn’t wanted to hurt you. After all, Satoru just wants to look out for you, he’s always there to help you out. His words shouldn’t hit you with full force, you shouldn’t feel this burning inside your chest, your hands shouldn’t start trembling.

You let out the shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding, eyes staring into distance. But they do and force a stinging feeling up from deep within along with one single thought.

You have enough.

Enough of smiling kindly all the time. Enough of letting others push you around and pick on you. Enough of even Satoru making fun of you. Enough of being nothing but his innocent girlfriend to the world. Enough of all the fighting, all the hiding.

For the first time in forever, you don’t force a smile onto your lips but furrow your eyebrows instead. You are…more than that.

“Don’t listen to that guy…”, you hear Utahime mumble next to you while she frees your body.

As if in trance, you follow her back up, the new feeling you just discovered tickling underneath your skin.

“She knows I didn’t mean it like that. Right baby?”

But instead of hearing the usual low “yes” coming from your lips immediately, you just stand there and stare at him before turning on your heels and leaving.

Satoru’s eyes widen. You. Leaving him standing in the rain?

“Did you hear me say something to you, babe?”, he shouts after you.

You don’t even hear him anymore, blood rushing through your ears. No more excuses, no more playing the victim, the lover. Your hands are still clenched into tight fist while you leave without turning your head.

That’s enough.

“I’m…more than that”, you mumble to yourself while staring at your naked reflection in the bathroom mirror.

You just need to work even harder, train yourself even better, change your mindset. No, you aren’t only Satoru Gojo’s girlfriend. You are powerful as well, you can feel it tickling in your fingertips.

So you worked your ass off in silence. Trained when nobody was watching, read countless books, started to introduce you to yourself.

“Beat you again!”, Satoru announces proudly while you let him throw your body into the air.

But something inside you stops you from letting all that progress show on the surface. You force the usual small smile onto your lips, let your boyfriend treat you like the dirt underneath his shoes. Over and over, without anybody noticing that something has changed.

No, you aren’t the little (y/n) they all know anymore. You are so much better than that, so much stronger than what they see in you.

Your fingers dig into the sides of the sink until it bursts under your lilac touch. Fuck this whole jujutsu high, fuck the way they all smile down at you. Fuck the way Satoru sees you as nothing but his personal toy. A maniac grin creeps up your face, violent laughter shaking your body in the middle of the night while you stare into your own stone-cold eyes.

This ends right here and now. And you will show them when the time is right.

-next week-

Will surprise Suguru this evening for his birthday. Try not to get killed while I’m gone. Love ya <3

You huff to yourself, the arrogance dripping from your boyfriend’s text message almost unleash your powers in the middle of your dorm.

No, you need to get a hold of yourself at least a little longer. After all, a few more hours won’t hurt over the fact that you went through this for over 4 years by now.

But today, you will make Satoru Gojo pay for the countless times he made fun of you. Today, you will wipe that cheeky grin off his face. Oh, how much you long for the moment when reality hits him with full force, when he finds out what your capable of.

How will he react when he finds out that you, a grade 4 sorcerer, are able to use hollow purple before he does? How will he react when he finds out his girlfriend fucked his best friend before disappearing into thin air and becoming his worst enemy? You worked on this plan for so long, replayed it over and over in your head. But now it’s time. Today, you will make the whole jujutsu world pay for all the things they did to you.

With a satisfied grin, you pull the exquisite pair of stockings you just bought for this exact moment up your legs, looking at yourself in the mirror. Oh, those black dessous definitely suit you well. Perfect for seducing the best friend of your boyfriend.

You put a simple dress on and get going. Well, is it necessary to fuck with Suguru? Absolutely not. You could just disappear right here and now and continue your plan. But where would be the fun of it? Just the thought of seeing that look of horror on Satoru’s eyes when he realizes you aren’t the girl he knows anymore, him not only losing his girlfriend, but his best friend as well. He deserves a little pain for all the things he said to you, for the countless times he made you feel worthless.

Exactly 30 minutes left until Satoru will arrive at Suguru’s doorstep as well. 30 minutes to seduce your boyfriend’s best friend, 30 minutes that will change your life forever. Are you ready to let go of the sweet and innocent girl you were, the easy life you had in the eyes of others as Satoru’s girlfriend without any power?

“Hell yes”, you mumble to yourself, heart almost beating out of your chest while you knock against his door.

Geto was always a true sweetheart, the one who always stood up for you even against Satoru. His oh so charming smile, his inviting hands, his character made of pure gold. He really doesn’t deserve what comes next.

But power demands sacrifice and pain. Maybe he’ll understand.

As soon as he opens the door, you crumble in front of him and cry. Crocodile tears stream down your face in rivers, shaky hands covering your face.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Come on, get in!”

His hand is placed on your back and pushes you softy into the middle of the room. Instead of saying another word, he simply wraps his inviting arms around you.

“Satoru…”, you mumble.

You can clearly see the way his jaw tenses. It’s nothing new to Suguru to see you cry because of his best friend. Geto told him over and over to treat you better, to not be so rough, to look after you in a caring way. And even though he always admired how well you kept your composure, moments like this one happened once in a while.

Nothing noticeable, right?

You burry your head against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck. Oh, you never noticed how tight his muscles are, how trained he is underneath that wide uniform.

Time to take it off.

“I can’t take it anymore, Suguru”, you cry it.

Well, at least this isn’t a lie. Before he’s able to stop you, you press your lips against his. Suguru feels so different, tastes sweeter than Satoru with a hint of mint. Your hands cramp around his neck, force him to stay in place while he looks at you with his eyes widen.

“(y/n)…Please stop”, he breathes out.

Stopping? Why does he press his body against yours, then? Why do his lips start to move against yours in sync, his eyes slowly but surely fluttering shut? Suguru always held a special place for you in his heart.

And you’ll use this spark of weakness against him.

“I can’t”, you mutter against his lips while pushing him towards his bed.

He grabs your hips when you force him to sit down on his bed, dark eyes gazing up at you like in trance.

“We can’t…(y/n), this is wrong in so many ways, Satoru is my best friend-“

“I am your friend too”, you interrupt him, hand gliding up and down his chest.

“I heard it when you said that Satoru doesn’t deserve me.”

He lets out his breath, whole body tensed up like stone underneath your merciless touch. You let yourself glide onto his lap, let yourself fall onto his already rock-hard erection. No, there’s absolutely no doubt in the fact that Suguru wants you.

And that your plan will work.

“I always wanted you more. You were always so good to me, Suguru. Now let me be good to you”, you hush oh so innocent.

His eyes roll into his skull, a pained expression painted on his face while he fights for what seems like dear life underneath your merciless touch. Your words do things to him he’d never dare to speak out. Damn, Satoru is his best friend, you’ve been his girlfriend for over 4 years and right now, you’re sitting on his lap. Right now, he can’t help but imagine you underneath him while groaning his name into his ear with your sweet voice.

“Fuck”, he hisses through gritted teeth, arms pushing you harder against his pants.

Your hips start to move on their own, sensitive spot rubbing over and over against him until your wetness covers his clothes delicately, a low groan escaping his lips before he can stop himself.

Enough of that. Without thinking twice, you unzip his pants and push them down his muscular legs, heat radiating through your whole body. This is absolutely hot, so exciting that you almost come from the sheer thought of fucking Suguru. But what excites you even more is that Satoru might walk through this door every given minute in order to surprise his best friend…

“Suguru”, you moan into the thick air as soon as his fingertips brush over your clit.

“(y/n)”, he growls against your ear, head hidden against your neck.

“(y/n)…”

Your heart skips a beat, fingers digging deeper into Suguru’s skin. Yes, this is it. The moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment you’ve begged for. As if in slow motion, you turn your head around.

There he stands, bright blue orbs widen in horror while he stares at you and Suguru.

“Didn’t expect you here”, you lie, a satisfied grin plastered on your face.

Elegantly, you get up from Suguru’s lap and put your panties up.

“(y/n)…you….you fucked my best friend”, the white-haired boy breathes out.

“I need to make an announcement.”

His numb eyes dart towards you. You, the girl he loved for over four years. You, the cute and innocent (y/n) he was always proud of, the girlfriend literally any guy could ask for. You…you aren’t capable of something like that. You can’t even stand up for yourself and now…Now you’re fucking his best friend?

“See this as my first act of revenge for all those years you pushed me around like the dirt underneath your shoes, Gojo.”

The way you spit his last name at him almost sweeps him off his feet.

“What the hell are you talking about? I was always good to you and you…you just fucked my best friend”, he shouts, the numb undertone in his eyes changing into pure rage.

“Good to me? You treated me like a hamster, like your weak little pet. But let me tell you, I’m not that weak girl you taught me to be anymore.”

Roughly, you grab his wrist, light the whole room purple.

“(y/n)…”, you hear Suguru breathe out behind you.

“This can’t be true.”

Satoru’s free hand yanks towards your body, aims for control all over again. It has always been like this. Gojo, who thinks the world belongs exclusively to him. Gojo, who thinks he can treat you like a price. Gojo, who thinks you can’t live without him.

“Don’t you dare to touch me ever again”, you purr at him, escaping his grasp with ease while pushing him so hard that he stumbles backwards.

“You aren’t my boyfriend anymore. From now on, you are my enemy. And I’ll never let you forget about that, Gojo Satoru.”

Tags:

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chronicdisasterwrites · 9 months

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these morons of jujutsu high

pairing: gojo satoru, geto suguru, shoko ieiri and fem!reader

genre + warnings: - this is NOT a poly fic. they’re all just vvv good friends. nanami and haibara were mentioned. mentions of blood, death and general jujutsu kaisen TW stuff. smoking, the word “goddamned” is mentioned. gojo being an idiot lmfao.

overall FLUFF !!

word count: 1219

authors note: so this is just a cute, heartfelt piece about the jjk troublemakers including and reader. i was thinking of making this the intro of a potential series but ✨ let’s see ✨

enjoyyyy <3

Is this really my life?

A question that always lingers in your mind.

Being a jujutsu sorcerer was no walk in the park. Death was a regular occurrence in your line of work. Deaths you anticipated, deaths you caused, deaths of friends, and even deaths of curses. None of them are ever easy to deal with. Nothing about this goddamned job is easy.

The smell of blood is as common to you as the smell of antiseptics is to a doctor. The sound of a curse evaporating into nothingness is ingrained in your brain as the sound of a child's first laughter is ingrained in the minds of their parents. Your hands are used to the touch of the cold steel of your weapons as a guitarist is used to the wood of their guitar.

This is your life. Your weapons are your instruments and the world is your stage. The only difference is, you have the blood of the crowd on your hands every. single. day. The blood of curses, the blood of humans, the blood of your comrades, and the blood of your own body.

How could it be that this life; so full of hurt, pain, despair, regret, fear, loneliness, anxiety, and depression, can also have so much happiness, love, excitement, companionship, adventure, humor, and serenity? That’s life, you suppose. But how can a life like yours have so much love alongside such hatred?

Your friends are the reason, you suppose.

These morons of Jujutsu High.

They feel the same emotions as deeply as you do. They have all felt loss, betrayal, grief, and death as much as you have.

Gojo Satoru had basically been raised as a trophy or a high-value product kept in perfect condition for the world to gawk at with wide eyes and ulterior motives. With the weight of the responsibility of being ‘Strongest’ hanging over his shoulders and daggers and spears pointed at him from every direction, he never had the chance to be a mere child. Which is what he was. Just a child. From birth to the present day, he has had eyes on him with the neon sign labeled ‘Strongest Sorcerer Ever’ blinking over his head. Always on his guard, being wary of who to trust. Not a moment to be a child. Not a moment to be a teenager and certainly not a moment to be an independent adult, free to choose who to love or what to do in life. He only has one thing to do. One obligation he has had since birth. Be the strongest. Throughout the heavens and the earth, he alone is the honored one.

It's a pretty lonely role for one person to bear.

Geto Suguru has kind eyes, a simple smile, and an extremely feared cursed technique; but what that smile and easygoing personality covers is his heart burdened with the horrors he has had to face in his life. He too, was born with the responsibility of using his cursed technique to help people. Born with the ability to absorb curses and later use them as he so desires. Living every day just killing and absorbing something that tastes like a rag covered in vomit and shit. Having to force your oesophagus to open up and force your mind to think of something more delicious whilst absorbing the thing you killed a few minutes ago is all second nature to Geto Suguru. Doesn’t mean it ever gets easier. But the smile comes easily to him and his voice stays soft and stable as his words soothe even those who hate him.

Because Geto Suguru wants to help those who are weak, and he would swallow all the curses necessary in order to do so.

Shoko Ieiri is the epitome of genius. Since she was a child she knew fully how to use the reversed curse technique; the ability to heal oneself and others, a technique even the strongest and most experienced jujutsu sorcerers have trouble mastering. Being so valuable means she has to stay in a lot, or go to missions alone a lot. She doesn’t get to choose missions, doesn’t get to accompany her friends to even ‘potentially’ dangerous locations. Being so valuable, she is the first person every jujutsu sorcerer goes to for healing and rejuvenation. Which also means she has to see a lot of her comrades lie on the steel bed, lifeless and cold and limp. She is the one who has to patch them up and she is the one who has to cut them open. Dealing with death and the aftermath is her job.

That's a lot of death for two eyes to see and two hands to explore.

Meeting them, knowing them, and growing to love them is the most rewarding experience your roller coaster of a life has had to offer by far. Checking out every single cafe Japan has to offer, milking Satoru of all his wealth by going out to eat and Satoru eating the most (ironically), pissing off Yaga-Sensei, celebrating birthdays, arguing and then making up with actions instead of verbal apologies, being the loudest group in every train station, smoke breaks with Shoko and Suguru while hiding away from Satoru, spending sleepless nights under the stars with Satoru, teasing Nanami and Haibara for acting like a 50-year-old married couple, fighting curses and always having each other’s backs. This was your family. However dysfunctional and however small.

So now, sitting in the classroom watching Suguru and Satoru bicker about who knows what this time, with Shoko sitting next to you fiddling around with Satoru’s sunglasses making faces and terrible impressions, bathed in the golden rays flooding the room through the windows as the sun goes down, you ponder the question; is this really your life?

You hear your name being called and the train of thought comes to a halt, as you look up to find honey-gold eyes staring back at you.

“What’re you thinking about so hard?” Suguru asks with his soft eyes and an even softer smile.

“She’s obviously thinking about how right I am and how wrong you are, Suguru,” Satoru interjects with his usual cocky smile and teasing lilt to his voice.

“Yeah, she definitely thinks a seal can beat a hippo in a fight to the death,” Shoko quips with unimpressed eyes and an obviously sarcastic smile.

Satoru slaps his hand on the desk so loudly that the sound reverberates throughout the entire floor you’re on, “HAH! Thank you Shoko, exactly what I’m saying. Of course I’m right.”

He wears an accomplished smile as the sarcasm completely flies over his stupid head.

“Gojo… I was joking. You’re obviously wrong.”

You can almost hear something crack in his head. The sound of disappointment.

“HEY just think about it okay? So a seal-“

As a new chapter of bickering begins between Shoko and Satoru, Suguru nudges your shoulder with a quirk of his eyebrows, silently repeating his previous question.

You look at him, look back at Satoru and Shoko and shake your head with a content smile and a huff of laughter, “Just thinking about life, I guess.”

With a hum and a smile Suguru relaxes on your other side as you both turn your attention to the ongoing argument unravelling before you.

Yeah. This really is my life.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #shoko x reader #jjk fluff #gojo satoru #geto suguru #shoko ieiri #gojo uses sarcasm but fails to understand it when someone uses it on him #shoko is babygirl #geto is babie boy #nanami and haibara are a certified married couple #yaga wants to die #i love them your honor #jjk x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #shoko ieiri x reader

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okkotsuus · 9 months

Note

hello!!! i absolutely loved the work you did on my request! ^___^ i wanted to request again, hahaha, i really like your works!! anyway, i was thinking of an idea where it was reader instead of geto who spiraled down to depression.. thank you very much!!! (ps. it could be satoru or geto btw, i don’t mind!)

when you fall in love (suguru g.) !

featuring: suguru geto

contents: comfort. established relationship. fluff. slight hurt/comfort. mentions of tears. mentions of nightmares. sharing a bed. voicemails. curses. mention of insecurity. mention of eating. i love him. 0.8k words.

notes: anon, i'm sorry this took like 11 days, i was in a writing slump </3

highschool!geto who notices your shift in demeanor almost instantly, he begins to see his own weariness for the world in your eyes. and it scares him, more than any curse.

highschool!geto who speaks to you more softly, welcomes you into his arms after every mission. he cares for you like a frightened animal, gentle and sweet with hesitance.

highschool!geto who is the only one to notice the growing length of each of your blinks, as if your eyes yearned to stay shut. from that moment, he leaves his bed to lay beside you through the night.

highschool!geto who stays by your side in the dark, no matter how many times you have to shake him awake from recurring nightmares, no matter how many times he has to shake you awake to reassure you that you are safe. he doesn’t care how much sleep he loses, as long as he doesn’t lose you.

highschool!geto who begins to prepare your meals for you. it’s not that he doesn’t trust you not to eat, he just wants to soothe his own worries that you are getting the proper nutrients you need.

highschool!geto who is a horrible cook at first, all he could make was simple things. but when he sees the smile that spreads on your face when you see him wearing a stupid apron satoru bought for him in the common room’s kitchen, he finds himself slowly getting better.

highschool!geto who has the warmest hugs, his arms enrapture you in a feeling for pure warmth and care. even in the most self-detrimental moments, no amount of insecurity can delude you from the love in his eyes when he holds you closer than thought to be possible.

highschool!geto who leaves you little voicemails whenever he’s away, or when you’re away. he leaves at least one daily, but he ends up giving you one every time something mildly interesting. one day, while he was away, he left you 27 messages because he had seen so many stupid haircuts on the streets of shinjuku.

highschool!geto who manages to draw a giggle out of you even in your darkest moments, without even knowing how he did it. he’s one of the most genuine people, that you can’t help the amused laugh that spills from you despite your cheeks being wet with tears.

highschool!geto who absorbs curses he thinks you’ll find cute simply so he can show them to you, not even perceiving the taste of their spirit orbs.

highschool!geto who brings you out on missions with him and satoru because he knows that you love to see him happy. just this once, he gets serious with satoru and tells him not to do anything foolish that would put you at risk.

highschool!geto who lets you play with his hair, no matter how tangled you may end up getting it. he loves letting your blow dry his hair, nearly falling asleep every time.

highschool!geto who sends you pictures of him after every mission to put your mind at ease, knowing he was still safe.

highschool!geto who sends you voice messages of him telling you good morning and good night every day, he hasn’t missed a single day in over six months: and he had only missed that one because his phone was out of service for a mission out in the countryside.

highschool!geto who calls shoko and satoru in secret to make sure they always have eyes on you when he’s away, not wanting you to slip while he can’t be there to comfort you. they always tease him for the way he fusses over you, but he just laughs and says: “when you fall in love, you’ll understand.”

highschool!geto who takes you out for moonlit rides on his curses whenever you can’t sleep, flying you high enough to touch the clouds (see: that one scene with hiccup and astrid in how to train your dragon).

highschool!geto who has never loved anyone like you, so much that it even scares him at times. he finds himself unable to stop the smile on his face as he lays in bed when the two of you are separated, a giddy feeling filling his chest and butterflies swirling in his tummy.

highschool!geto who will waste his entire allowance from the school on a capsule machine or a claw machine to get the specific one you want, even if you look at it for just a second. if he runs out of money, he just shakes down satoru for his rich boy money.

okkotsuus 23

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morganitering · 4 months

Text

Because I'm the Weakest II: The Women Who Never Won

Pairings/character dynamics: Satosugu, Shoko and reader, Nanami and reader, implied shoko x utahime

Contains and warnings: DARK FIC/DEAD DOVE fem!reader, Suicidal ideation, rape aftermath, referenced rape (not written out in this chap), depression, alcohol abuse, misogyny & sexism, internalized sexism, sexual harassment on minors done by minors, victim blaming (thoughts), self harm, angst, hurt & comfort, I call noncon with the official word for it

Word count: ~9,6k

Summary: There's certain desperation when you try to keep your head above water. You were drowning and all you wanted to do was to forget, the weight on your shoulders unbearable. Despite the cards you were dealt with you found yourself among allies as the web of untold memories started to unfold.

A/N: Hey! Yall waited long for this, sorry about that. I have no idea how to tag this but I'll just do it somehow, bc this is a tricky chapter. Here yall get to dive deeper in the stuff that has gone down before the events that took place in 1st chap and get a hug from Shoko. This is hopefully the last installment of this. Read the tags carefully as always and make informed decisions based on that and take care of yourself. Shit can get heavy, but I'm trying to do this in good taste.

Read on ao3 part I

Shoko Ieiri had worked a long time with people who suffered. She had seen it all, limbs cut off, even the toughest of sorcerers reduced to crying messes as they practically had their innards falling to the floor. There’s something utterly horrifying watching a patient, no – a friend scream in pain when even her skills were not enough. Funerals came and went, the white sheet thrown over the deceased on the operation table in the same routine way she’d change her linens. Nothing really shocked her.

That’s what she liked to think.

Your visits have been more frequent. It started with bruises and sprained ankles. Then it was broken bones that soon turned to puncture wounds, your clothes sticky with deep red and dirt. When she asked about it, you laughed it off saying it’s nothing, just a silly little mishap, “I was too reckless in the heat of the moment.” But your eyes were empty, your words hollow like a dead tree. Of course Shoko did her job, without asking too much. You’re an adult and you’ll speak about it if you want to, right? Her job was to keep you alive. Your job was to exorcise curses.

Shoko and you had been close too, hanging out with the two men, but at some point in high school she had withdrawn from the group. Gojo and Geto had tried to keep in touch with her in adulthood, inviting her as well to spend time together as the four of them, but she had always declined, smoothly changing their relationship to acquaintances at best. She heard enough of the despicable men from you. The only times she was in direct contact with Gojo and Geto was work related and god how she hoped that it would stay that way. She’ll play that pretend game almost happily.

Shoko closed the office door the day turning to evening, sundown coloring the city in hues of orange and yellow. She held onto her little black purse, thankfully it was friday. A man stood on the long corridor, standing upright as if he did not belong here. He looked indifferent, almost bored.

“Nanami.”

“Ieiri.”

They greeted each other with a curt nod.

“So what brings you here? You seem healthy enough,” Shoko asked as they walked to the open parking lot, only a few cars in sight. The warm summer sun caressed her cheeks, wind making her long hair flow in waves.

“I think she’s going through something,” Nanami stated as a matter of fact talking about you. He and you had gone on missions together, but something about you wasn’t right. He had seen the way you clutch your weapon, throw yourself at the enemy recklessly almost as if you had a death wish. It’s like you waited for your end.

“No shit.” Shoko chuckled amused. It was as clear as a day if you just had eyes on yourself. “Why do you care?”

“I’ve seen enough people spiral to know where it leads. You’re a healer, can’t you help?” His voice was thoughtful, not betraying a hint of emotions.

“I can’t help a person who doesn’t want it,” Shoko said. “But I’ll try to figure something out.”

“And that is enough. Thank you.”

***

You hated meetings and rarely took part in them if you could avoid them. You had not met Gojo or Geto after the unfortunate night. If there were some work related things where there was a possibility to meet either of the men, you requested to be part of them remotely or that someone would just forward the key points. But after doing this for a few months Yaga had sent you a passive-aggressive email writing that it is absolutely mandatory for you to show yourself at least once in a while. You didn’t bother to answer him with anything other than a polite see you there.

Honestly you were tired. Your whole body ached in overexertion. Sleep escaped from you, ran a marathon around the block never stopping at your house, and every time you seemed to catch a break, hazy images you rather forbid being real filled your vision. Your eyebags told a story of exhaustion, your body shrinking in every possible way away. You went to see a doctor, not Shoko, just some normal practitioner from the private sector that you ended up paying yourself sick for.

The doctor gave you pills to help you with sleep. He asked you if you were stressed or going through some sorts of crisis. You answered with a diligent no and explained that you’ve always had issues with sleep, but you were otherwise okay. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow in suspicion, the glasses on his head hung on his nose by a thread. He decided to believe you as he wrote the prescription, but insisted you took home pamphlets about depression and crisis hotlines.

You tried the pills. You did fall asleep, but only after a panic attack wrecked through your body as the effect of the medication forced you into a deep slumber. The pills made you feel your pulse in your whole body. “It’s a quite strong product, previously used to treat psychosis, but nowadays it’s for patients with severe insomnia. Take it one hour before sleep. The effect might be really sudden.”

When you woke up you decided to throw them away. It’s better to not to sleep if it meant that you’d go free from the horrors of the night you had experienced.

The huge meeting table sprawled out horizontally and was able to sit around fifteen people in it. It had several small electric outlets for computers and tablets. Light poured in from the big windows, the blinds only halfway done. You stared at the weird scribbling on the white board that Principal Yaga was wiping furiously, muttering things about how students shouldn’t be let in this room under any circumstance since they can’t differentiate which markers are okay to use on it.

You exchanged pleasantries with him. The room was devoid of people since you were too early. You swung your leather bag on the back of the upholstered office chair and sat yourself down.

Shoko walked in and her face lit up a little bit when she saw you sitting there. It was subtle, you thought that you were maybe the only one who could differentiate that expression from her. She sat next to you, a faint hint of neroli wrapping you to its calming aroma.

Next came Meimei and then Utahime who came running to you two giving a happy hug to Shoko. They were so cute together, you thought to yourself as you fidgeted with your slightly too big shoes, constantly removing them and pushing them back to your feet. People don’t usually like small talk, but nonetheless the group chatted with each other. They had to, because it’s polite and you were coworkers. You thought that small talk was easy. The script of it was burnt to your brains for the rest of your life. You get to keep people at an arm's length and keep up appearances, so what’s there not to like?

A familiar blonde man stood in the doorway. You checked your phone for the time. Only five minutes before the official start. Yuki also appeared after Nanami.

“Hello,” he said and nodded at you as he sat himself next to you. Your whole body stiffened around him. It was hard to look him in the eyes and even harder to work missions with.

It was ten minutes past the official time when the meeting was supposed to start.

“Sorry we are late.” Two men marched in the room with confident strides and took their place in front of you facing you, that was sitting in between Nanami and Shoko, Utahime next to the doctor. Suguru sat down next to Yuki leaving a space for Satoru who had Meimei next to him.

Hearing Suguru’s voice made your skin crawl.

“It’s fine,” Yaga said and looked over his shoulder to look at the white screen he had pulled down earlier with only a blue screen reflecting on the fabric. “I can’t seem to get this work anyway,” he mumbled.

“Do you need help?” Suguru walked over to the man struggling over his laptop. “Have you checked the HDMI-cable?”

“Of course I have, I just don’t understand why it won't work. We have Ijichi remote today,” he muttered partially to himself.

“Let me.”

You sat fidgeting on your chair focusing on everything else than the two men and their presence that suffocated you. If you were a candle they’d be snuffing you out but not properly, no, that would be too kind. They’d always let enough air in so that you’d never be completely put out.

“Hello to you girls.. and Nanami,” Satoru flashed a playful grin at the four of you. Your head jerked involuntarily to look at the man. Thank god he has a habit of covering his eyes, but somehow that made him even worse.

“Hello. How are you?” Nanami nodded politely.

“I’m well. Hopefully the work isn’t stressing you out too much.” Satoru’s smile widened.

“Speaking of work, I’ve heard that you and her have started doing missions together,” Satoru nudged his head towards you as he spoke directly to Nanami. “I actually green lighted the idea of sorcerers working more together. It’s good to practice teamwork and I put in good words for the two of you, since you compliment each other with the techniques you have. ” Satoru moved his head to look your way as he drew out his words in a way that you’d be sure to catch the dual meaning.

The wall flashed a few times showing the computer screen and it’s default wallpaper for only a moment and after that went back to blue.

“An idea that I actually can get behind,” Nanami said agreeably.

Your eye twitched.

“Really? That was your doing?” You barely hid the anger of your voice. One more push and you’d pour your life savings on an amoral hitman, not that you’d believe that anyone could finish him off. It was a thought just for you so you could at least think about being mean in your own petty way.

“Not a fan of working in groups of two? How about in groups of three?”

“You fucking piece of-”

“Okay I think it’s working now,” Yaga put his hands together straightening himself properly. Suguru walked over to Satoru, slightly shaking his head before he sat down. You heard Utahime’s quiet “okayy..” whispered in the awkward silence.

“Unfortunately principal Gakuganji wasn’t able to make it today, he’s sick or something.”

You heard Gojo scoff audibly.

“Try to respect him.” Yaga shot a glare in the young teacher’s way.

“Ijichi and Nitta have gathered data about the hotspots of cursed activity,” he continued and opened up the window to teams only to be greeted by a tired looking black haired man in a suit. The background behind him was red, it looked like some type of wallpaper and small paintings covered the walls. You reckoned it was a hotel room. Or a motel, you really could not tell.

“Ijichi, do you hear me? Would you like to take over?” Yaga’s voice boomed louder as if he wasn’t already near his computer.

The grainy picture of the tired man smiling uncomfortably stayed still a little too long to be taken as a real time reaction to Yaga’s question.

“I hear you. Sorry, the connection here is a bit bad.” Ijichi’s voice echoed in the office room. The picture of a slideshow appeared on the wall, making Ijichi’s face smaller.

The map of Tokyo loomed on the wall as everyone stared at it intensely, more or less dozing off. Some parts of it had big red circles on them and Ijichi explained the way these places were having exceptionally heavy activity. He reckoned that partially the rise in activity tied to the sorcerers working more missions together leaving less people available. Ijichi also showed statistics comparing the effectiveness of sorcerers based in Tokyo and Kyoto.

You were about to lose your mind, your body still pumping adrenaline after the conversation with Gojo. Everyone else seemed to be bored, oblivious to your struggle. Satoru had yawned at least three times in the last ten minutes, Shoko and Utahime were both interested in their nails. Even Suguru looked tired and he was pretty good at hiding his thoughts. The only ones who did not look outwardly dead inside were Yaga and Nanami.

“Thank you Ijichi for your hard work,” Yaga said and Ijichi nodded smiling. The pop up of the slideshow vanished from the screen leaving Ijichi’s face in a huge resolution looming onto the wall.

“We are going to take in account the effects of pairing up sorcerers. I’m not entirely in charge of how long this trial will take,” Yaga said. “Ieiri has this trial affected the health care aspect in any way?”

Shoko cleared her throat tapping open the ipad in front of her, her nails making a satisfying click click sound.

“The injuries have lessened,” she started. That’s good, you thought. “But the severity has increased,” she said with a serious face.

“Why is that?” Principal scrunched his eyebrows together.

“In my professional opinion it is due to people being more brazen when having a partner. This can be seen especially in lower grade sorcerers, who are prone to believing that they are invincible when someone backs them up.” Everyone had turned to look at the doctor who played with her hair idly as she spoke.

“And the second grade and up?”

“It happens less. But there are some, even first grade sorcerers, who are accident prone,” Shoko said and quickly looked at you, not long enough for others to pick up on that she was speaking about you.

Gojo’s phone rang in the middle of the conference. He left the room with an apology and never came back. Relief and anger ignited in you playing tug of war in your heart as your eyes followed him bitterly.

“I think this is all. I’ll send everyone the upcoming jobs, but if no one has anything to say, I think we can conclude this meeting here,” Yaga said, the choir of thank yous and goodbyes filling the room.

You stretched yourself, happy to be on your feet again.

“Hey, can we talk?” Nanami tried to get your attention.

You stood in the room that was quickly emptying out of people. Shoko awkwardly hung around in a small distance from you and Nanami, trying to pretend that she wasn’t listening to your conversation.

“I don’t entirely understand the conversation between you and Gojo, but if I have somehow disrespected you I offer my deepest apologies.” Nanami’s voice was soft. Your heart ached as you realized how bad your words must have appeared to him.

“I’m so sorry. It’s not about you. You’ve done nothing..” You trailed off as you saw the tall curse eating man walk outside with a sly smile on his lips.

“That’s a relief but if I may be so blunt, I have a hunch that there is something bothering you,” Nanami said.

You looked at him and chewed your lower lip nervously. This was all their fault. If they had not done what they did, you would not be in this position. The least they could have done is to keep the names of people you know out of their mouths.

“I’m sorry to leave you hanging like this, but can we finish this conversation later?” You hurried past him, only hearing Nanami mumble the word ‘sure’ like a kicked puppy and you said goodbye to Shoko agreeing on staying in touch with her.

The corridor was almost empty as you walked through the school building frantically searching for that bastard of a man. Your footsteps echoed on the wood as you arrived at a not so well known exit of the building. Geto stood in front of the dual doors, half heartedly pushing it open as he furiously wrote something on his phone.

You yelled out his name, but he did not bother to react to you. You closed in on the man that was still standing back towards you. Anger surged in you as adrenaline made you braver than what you normally would be. You were supposed to just grab the ends of his hair that were sprawled across his back, but in the heat of the moment your impulse control had another lapse as you kept on raising your hand. A fist closed around the bun that had been carefully crafted on his scalp and you dug your fingers around the hair tie and then yanked, hard.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He turned around stepping out of the doorway letting it close properly with a thump and he closed the distance between you for good. His eyes shot daggers at you.

“You did not pay attention to me.” You shook your hand out of the spare strands that were stuck on your palm and offered the small hair tie back to him.

“Well you got it now,” he hissed. “You can keep that as a souvenir. I don’t want anything that a filthy bitch like you has touched,” he said, the calm composure nowhere in sight.

A filthy bitch? Really? Then maybe you should break up with Satoru if this is your deal breaker.. That’s what you wanted to say, but you held back your tongue.

Geto took a deep breath, calming himself down, slipping on the mask that you were more used to seeing. He put his phone back in his pocket.

“What do you want?”

“You told me,” you started, tears threatening to flow over. “You told me that I can just leave and do whatever I want. Why do you keep tormenting me? Why do you let Gojo do what he does?” Your voice broke as you started crying openly. You hated it, it made you weak. No. You were weak.

“Firstly, I’m not his guardian. He can do what he wants.” He sounded like a smartass.

“Second of all, never. And I repeat. Never, lay a hand on me ever again, especially on my hair.” You rolled your eyes.

Of course it was the hair that ticked him off completely. It was his crown, the only thing he had ever been able to take care of besides Satoru. Suguru loved to flaunt himself as the calm one, the kind one, but the exterior had always had some cracks in it. No amount of paint was able to hide the rotten wall behind it.

“I can forgive your outburst at Satoru’s, but now that you’re in your right mind, you won’t get second chances.”

“I don’t want ‘second chances’. I want you to leave me the fuck alone so I can do my job,” you yelled at him.

“Lower your voice. Or do you want to air out all the dirty laundry for everyone?” Geto hushed you.

“It’s not my ‘laundry’, it’s fucking yours!” You roared and tears fell down your cheeks blurring your vision. Your face felt hot as it got wrapped in the wrath of your words.

Geto did not answer you, instead he chose to stare you down, not moving at all as if he was a statue. He looked like a child throwing a tantrum when things did not go his way, his face contorting to a sneer that could challenge any rich spoiled brat. You panted and wiped your face with the rough backside of your palm.

“Move.”

“Ladies first,” he snickered childishly and kicked open the heavy door with his foot as he stepped slightly to the side. God this man hangs out too much with Gojo.

As you left the school grounds barely holding your breakdown away, there was one figure in the corridors hugging the wall near the exit, clutching onto her purse.

***

SHOKO’S MEMORIES, 2006

“Truth or dare?” Satoru asked, popping the pink bubblegum in the air, sucking the sticky material back in his mouth to chew on loudly.

“Truth,” Shoko said, placing another cigarette in her mouth. She smoked especially heavily when she was drinking.

Satoru had managed to bring a whole six pack of beer to the picnic whereas Suguru had found a travel size vodka bottle from his parents. Shoko had brought a package of different berries and salty crackers with her.

“If you could have any technique in the world, which one would you have?” Satoru asked. He looked at the clear blue sky and the way the summer breeze pushed on the white clouds.

Shoko played with the corner of the blanket as she thought deeply about his question. She stared at the shoes she had placed on the grass and the manicure on her toes that Utahime had insisted on putting on her.

“I think I’d keep this one,” she smiled wistfully.

“Really? You wouldn’t want my powers?” Satoru looked at her tilting his head to the side. He spat out the chewing gum and placed it on the plastic lid that belonged to the packaging of berries. He did not like it when things ran out of flavor, always searching for something more.

“No. I don’t envy you at all. I just want a happy life and that’s all” Shoko answered his gaze, with a gentle smile. “Besides, I like the way I am and I suppose I can help people like this,” she added.

Satoru hummed. He was clearly dissatisfied with the answer.

He did not exactly know why.

“Satoru, that's sad. You should ask something fun,” Suguru pointed out and took a sip from the beer can.

The three of them sat on a grassy hill that had a pretty decent view of the city and the park below it. Shoko leaned against the huge tree behind her back. The cicadas were performing their own concert with the hum of motorways working as their orchestra.

“You figure out better questions then,” Satoru pouted, but wasn’t actually hurt.

“Isn’t it my turn to ask though?”

Shoko looked in the distance watching closely how a woman jogged with her shiba inu, her ponytail swishing in the same rhythm as the chord of her headphones. Both men nodded slightly out of sync.

“Satoru truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Who’s the hottest person you know?” Her eyes twinkled teasingly.

“Waka Inoue of course. She’s sexy as hell!” Satoru slapped his hand on his heart as if he was saluting.

“Really? You still have a crush on her?” Suguru questioned. It was his turn to pout. “Am I not enough?”

“Baby you’re plenty, but you can’t replace a huge rack,” Satoru’s voice was steady as if he was talking about the most important thing in the whole world.

“I can’t argue with that.” Suguru sighed defeatedly, his shoulders slumping down dramatically.

“Ugh. I shouldn’t have asked that. Both of you are so weird and gross about women,” Shoko grimaced regretting her decisions and lifted the cigarette to her mouth as if to cover the bad taste of Satoru’s words.

The man in sunglasses ignored the criticizing words. “Suguru. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to share this,” Satoru lifted up a huge strawberry. “Like in Lady and the Tramp with Shoko,” he referred to the scene where the two dogs shared a spaghetti meal, eventually kissing.

“That’s too small!” Shoko protested immediately, shaking her head. The idea of doing that with Suguru made her feel iffy.

“I’m game if she is,” Suguru said and offered his palm to Satoru who plopped the berry in his hands.

Shoko had a nervous giggle come out of her.

“C’mon, it’s just a game. You can always let go after like one bite. This is truth or dare afterall,” Satoru coaxed.

“Fine. But I won’t kiss you, not even a peck.” Shoko established her own rule and rolled her eyes. She put out the cigarette on the grass and left the butt there.

“We’ll see about that,” Suguru laughed and picked at the stem that got thrown over next to the chewed up gum.

He awkwardly came closer to the young female student and placed the bigger end between his lips. He looked silly, the red end peeking out of his mouth. Suguru attempted at mouthing the words ‘come closer’, but neither Satoru or Shoko understood his words but the context clue carried the point to Shoko.

She got on her knees sitting on top of her legs and straightened herself out. Suguru was way taller than her, even when he sat. Her face approached Suguru’s who had a pink tint on his cheeks from the alcohol he had drank.

She opened her mouth and barely bit down on the smaller end, her tongue touching the bumpy texture of the strawberry.

“Ready. Set. Go!” Satoru exclaimed, motioning finger guns happily. His gaze was completely glued on his two friends.

Suguru closed his eyes and he started to carefully nibble, closing dangerously on Shoko’s lips. She bit quickly, not really tasting anything and began to pull away in hopes of Suguru calling it quits too.

Unfortunately she wasn’t fast enough. The last bits of strawberry fell down on Shoko’s lap when Suguru pressed his lips against hers, a faint red trail dripping on her chin. She didn’t move and her eyes widened in shock. Shoko didn’t know what to do so she just held her hands on her lap.

Suguru pet gently behind the girl’s head kissing her motionless lips. His hand trailed down to her neck and all the way to her shoulder. Shoko felt the sweet taste in her mouth mixing with the alcohol, stranger’s saliva and nicotine as Suguru dragged his hand to the mound of her breast. The warmth emanating from his palm was enough to bring her back to reality and Shoko pushed the bigger guy off of her.

“Why did you do that?” she snapped and crossed her arms.

“Oh don’t get angry now. Have a drink and chill out.” Satoru sighed. He shuffled awkwardly and placed the almost empty tote bag on his lap and grabbed a new beer can from there. Shoko narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but did not want to make room for any weird thoughts that would imply even weirder things. “It’s just a joke.”

“This is not the first time you take jokes too far.”

Shoko looked away from the two boys, disappointment turning into an ache in her heart and wiped her chin clean from the strawberry. She slipped on the ballerinas laying on the ground.

“Seriously? You’re leaving because of this?” Suguru tilted his head, his voice defensive.

Shoko threw her cigarettes and lighter in her own purse checking the blanket for other stuff she had.

“Yeah, I am. I’m not having fun anymore.” Her voice was cold as she was attempting to hide the nervous tremble in her body and almost jumped up throwing the bag on her shoulder. She turned around, once again crossing her hands against her chest as if to protect herself and started walking.

“Hey! Don’t you want your blanket with you?” Satoru yelled after her. The two guys sat on the quilt completely bamboozled.

“Keep it! I don’t need it!”

She didn’t eat strawberries for the rest of the summer.

***

“Hey you really should sing this one!” Shoko laughed as she scrolled through the song list.

“Whaat? No that’s not even funny,” you laughed and slapped her arm gently.

“Is it really not? Or are you just a bore?” Shoko taunted getting ready to put the song on.

“Can we sing something from this?” You pointed at the category called 2000’s hits.

“I’ll pick something at random and you’re just going to deal with it,” Shoko laughed clearly tipsy too after the multiple drinks you both had drank.

The disco ball was spinning around the small room painting the walls in hues of blue, red and green. Nanami sat on the couch nursing his whiskey as he stared off into space. The upbeat music filled the room, bass shaking the ground underneath your feet.

It was the first time going out after the events at Gojo’s house. Shoko had basically begged you to come with her to get shit faced complaining that she really needed someone to rant with. You told her that Utahime was right there and would probably love to listen to her, but she claimed that the woman from Kyoto had other plans for the weekend.

After arriving at the karaoke bar you had been taken back after seeing the stoic blonde man at the venue. You weighed the option of immediately leaving in your head, but your conscience did not allow you to do so, after leaving him so rudely hanging in the meeting. When the three of you had gotten your own private room you decided to immediately order shots and drinks with the only goal of getting absolutely black out drunk tonight despite having Nanami there.

It was honestly rare to see him after work as he had preferred to keep his distance. He was wearing the same clothing he always wore, dress shirt ironed, necktie perfectly hanging against his chest as if he was on the clock. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he were to whip out a cursed tool onto the bar table.

You clutched onto the microphone singing unevenly as you danced to the beat, half of the syllables disappearing to you being out of breath. Shoko cackled, almost folding over as she kept slapping her thigh eyes watering. She had drunk a few drinks less than you and she had been exceptionally happy even before drinking. Truthfully Shoko was quite a heavy drinker and she definitely should not have been as wasted as what she appeared to be.

Nanami stared at the both of you, raising the whiskey glass to his lips after checking his wrist watch.

“Come here! Sing with us!” You yelled to the mic only getting a slightly alarmed expression out of him as he shook his head.

“I think I’m okay with watching you two perform,” he said.

You pouted but kept on singing, your concentration skills nonexistent. You did not notice the way Shoko glared at him, nudging her head towards you as she pointed the microphone in her hand towards him.

Nanami cleared his throat under the threatening gaze and clumsily got up.

“Oh my god! Nanamiii!” You screamed the noise so high pitched that even the speakers were unable to handle it and you could see how Nanami cringed at the sound.

Shoko squinted her eyes and mouthed the word sing to Nanami. Shoko was not going to deal with you alone.

The combination of the pop song and Nanami’s voice made you giggle as you hurrayed him happily. He was not a bad singer by any means, but his voice did not fit the song choice. You wondered to yourself, why had you not gotten shitfaced earlier when you had all the good reasons to.

Shoko decided to take a small break sitting on the spot where Nanami had been earlier and inspected the brown liquid swishing in the glass. She stole a sip from it when Nanami wasn’t watching, not really caring about the fact that it wasn’t her drink.

You grabbed your drink from the table and drank from it and you kept on singing happily, almost jumping around. Nanami looked at you with a terrified expression when you moved side to side with the drink spilling on your hand, but you did not notice the wetness of it.

“Hey, put that down before you drop the glass,” Nanami said and gently tried to take the glass from you.

“No, I want to keep this,” a pout formed on your face but you still did what he told and turned around swiftly to place the drink on the counter. Your vision was blurry, the lights slightly too bright and you lost your balance tipping over the glass that was already safely on the table. You felt yourself starting to fall but a strong arm snaked around your waist to stabilize you.

The world felt like it was stopping when the arm around you changed into a tight rope that pressed around your ribcage. The karaoke room changed inch by inch to a vast room with a wall made of windows with a night view of the streets of Tokyo. The shattered drink turned into a broken light bulb on the floor. You felt a hot breath on your skin, but your body had gotten cold. It was as if you had been dunked into ice water, all the earlier excitement completely vanished. The disco ball spun around casting blue lights on the white haired man’s face that ogled you like a piece of meat. The imagery was so vivid and real in your mind that you reacted on instinct, elbowing the man behind you.

The rope vanished around you as the windows melted to the concrete floor, the shadows of city lights turned back to the tacky illumination of the disco ball. You felt the remnants of cursed energy fizzing out like a soda can as your eyes landed on Nanami, who was slightly hunched over holding onto his side the pain making him grimace. You had no idea how much force you had actually used, but probably quite a lot judging by the way Nanami was reacting.

Shoko stood there completely still, eyes filled to the brim with worry and confusion. Her lips were ajar and she gulped down wanting to say something, but she did not know what.

“My apologies. I didn't mean to touch you inappropriately,” Nanami managed to say. The music track played in the background, but it felt empty without a drunken voice guiding it. He was lucky to have good reflexes, instinctually protecting himself from the blow, otherwise Shoko would have had a patient off the clock.

“Uh,” Your mouth gaped at him hopelessly. He had done nothing wrong.

“I’ll go for a cigarette,” you blurted out and left the room hurriedly. The long hallway stretched in front of your eyes as you looked at the numbers on karaoke booths, only muted colors flashing through the slightly translucent doors. You leaned on the wall as you dragged your feet forward arriving at the front desk that thanked you for your time, but you did not pay attention to them and turned to your left to stare at the steep stairway.

The steps were made out of wood with a black paint that had started to chip away and the walls were pure red, too bright and intense for your eyes. You focused on the door in front of you and barely saw the red walls around it as they got covered by a dark cloud, your way of seeing more animalistic than human.The only thing in your mind was the need to get some fresh air as emotions threw you around like a shipwreck at the sea.

You pushed the door open and walked over to a bicycle stand choosing an empty spot where you plopped yourself on. You rocked yourself back and forth as you cried and gripped onto your skin painfully hoping that at least the physical sensation would put an end to your suffering. You started to be more aware of the familiar banging against your skull.

The door of the karaoke bar opened as Shoko walked outside, her face now serious, resembling more the woman she was at work than the friend giggling at drunk people's jokes.

“Hey. You forgot this inside.” She handed you your bag.

You wanted to answer something but you could not as the words got stuck to your throat. Your world flashed back and forth between sensations that you weren’t supposed to feel in this moment. The guilt and sadness ate you alive, nipping away from your vitals the more you tried to push them down.

Shoko placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it up and offered it to you. You took it gladly off her hands inhaling the sweet smoke, but you almost ended up suffocating on it as your nose was too stuffed to handle it. Even the menthol taste was unable to help you with this issue. Shoko opened the green box once more to get herself a smoke as well.

She took a drag out of it and watched your shuddering figure.

“I saw you in the hallway with Geto. Something happened at Gojo’s right?”

You lifted your head up mascara running on your cheeks. Had you not been in such a bad state her words would have shocked you.

“I can’t help you if you don’t want my help.” Shoko crouched down to your level. You stared at her face as she left out a puff of smoke that trailed around her face, the dark eye bags now more visible than ever.

You choked on your tears once more, now openly wailing on the pavement your fingers digging into the soft flesh of your arm. You dragged your nails across yourself leaving pink trails behind it, the soft tingle covering the areas you had just clawed at.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you cried, your words hard to decipher as your breath hitched. “I can’t keep on doing this. It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid,” you screamed snot falling onto your shirt.

“So fucking stupid!” You impulsively pressed the cigarette butt against your thigh melting the cloth away the stinging pain shocking you as your skin shed its layers against the fire.

You had no shame in your breakdown, frankly you did not even recognize the others that looked in your way speaking with hushed voices around you, as they tightened the grip on their partners hands. “That girl really needs to lay off the drinks,” someone had said loudly. Shoko had wanted to immediately pounce, but she held herself together. She knew that you needed her more.

“Don’t hurt yourself, when you want to hurt someone else,” her voice was just a whisper. “Can I touch you?” She asked not wanting to trigger you further. You nodded.

Shoko pulled you into a tight hug and you buried your face on her chest, holding onto her like it was the last thing keeping you afloat. You seeked comfort in her presence.

“I want to die.” You gripped onto her tighter. “I’m so weak.”

Shoko stroked your hair, her own eyes watering as she listened to you wordlessly. She felt your pain almost just as viscerally as you were experiencing them now.

“No matter… no matter what I do. I can’t escape them. I just want to be gone. I want to-”

Shoko shushed you and slipped her free hand into her pocket, digging out her phone. Almost ten minutes had gone by. She awkwardly opened her chat with Nanami trying to inform the man who was probably still sitting in their booth waiting for the two of you to come back.

A male voice disturbed the two of you. “Is everything okay?”

Shoko pressed her hand on your shoulder pushing herself up from the ground, she whispered to you to stay put, not that you really were in any condition to go anywhere.

“Good that you’re here. I was just about to text you. Can you get us a taxi?”

“Of course,” he said and opened the app punching in your address that Shoko forwarded to him. He looked so much older and out of place in the busy street.

This was the kind hearted and lovely Nanami that had forgiven you immediately, after you had punched him in the gut because you were fucked up in the head. The kind hearted and lovely Nanami that you couldn’t look in the eyes, because of a certain man whose name you felt like acid on the tip of your tongue. The thoughts in your head brought fresh tears to your eyes. You dangerously sailed in the deep waters of suicidal ideation, your tired hands opening the forbidden door.

“It’s going to arrive in five minutes,” Nanami hummed.

“I think you should go. I’ll handle this,” Shoko said, her voice full of pity. “I’ll keep you posted.”

Nanami nodded in agreement.

“For what it’s worth, take care of yourself too.” Nanami’s words were carefully chosen, anticipating that you weren’t the only one who needed a hug.

***

SHOKO’S MEMORIES, YEAR 2006

The beach was filled with people who enjoyed the way the sun spoiled them with its warmth. Shoko was sitting on a towel next to Mei Mei who applied generous amounts of sunscreen on her hand. They sat underneath a parasol that had been propped in the sand, covering them both from the direct sun. The brown haired girl watched as Utahime excitedly threw herself to the water. She had given up on trying to get Shoko and Mei Mei in the water as well.

“Mei Mei, don’t you have a lot of experience with boys?” Shoko almost whispered and hugged her legs. Her beach shawl swayed when the breeze decided to start playing with the huge piece of cloth.

“Are you trying to imply something?” Her voice was low and melodic but not at all accusatory.

“No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask you something.” Shoko shook her head flustered. “Is it normal for a guy to kiss a girl without asking?”

Mei Mei burst into laughter. This was the question Shoko was getting all worked up for?

“Shoko,” Mei Mei’s eyes glimmered softly when she said the younger girl’s name with gentleness that reminded her of a mother tugging a child into bed. “I did not take you for being this innocent,” she teased.

“I’m not innocent,” the brown haired girl huffed with the unexpected blush decorating her cheeks.

“Did someone do that to you?” Mei Mei tilted her head curiously and offered the sunscreen bottle to Shoko who happily took it to her hands.

“If I tell you, will you promise that you won’t tell anyone?”

“If I’m honest, I don’t think I care enough to tattle. You got me curious now. Tell me,” she hummed as a smile curled on her lips.

“Well uh.. Suguru kind of kissed me when we were playing truth or dare with Satoru,” Shoko explained . She ran her hand between the warm sand, the grainy texture giving her something else to think about. “It was a stupid dare on Satoru’s part. Dunno why I accepted it.”

Shoko added that she did not want to kiss him under any circumstances but the boy had managed to go over her boundary with ease.

“That’s it?” Mei Mei asked, raising her eyebrow. She was almost bewildered at how tame the story was.

“Yeah.”

The blue haired woman scoffed.

“Guys think that girls like it when they take control and in a certain sense they are right. Maybe they got their eyes on you? Although, I did think that Suguru and Satoru were..” Mei Mei’s voice trailed off as she thought. “It doesn’t matter.” She concluded.

“If I were you. I’d go along with it.” Mei Mei suggested.

“No way. I don’t like them like that. Besides that’s not what I asked for your opinion on.”

“And?” Mei Mei turned her gaze on Shoko, her eyes hardening as she intensely stared at the younger girl. “Those two men are our generation’s strongest and you’re going to complain that one of them gave you a little kiss?”

Mei Mei’s melodic voice dropped lower as she showed her true feelings of distaste towards Shoko’s views.

“If I were you,” she started again, her voice tough and bitter. “I’d be securing my spot by their side and not planning to bring forth meaningless accusations over a game of truth or dare.”

Shoko was at loss with the things that were being said to her. Now that she thought about it, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to speak with Mei Mei.

“I did not say I was going to tell anyone,” her voice was squeaky like a little girl’s.

“But you thought about that right?” Shoko did not deny nor confirm the accusation.

Mei Mei’s face softened. “Shoko, you’re a smart girl. You should know better than to get shaken by two boys, especially when you so eagerly lead them on.“

“..I don’t lead them on.”

“Then stop meeting them in your spare time. If you do that, guys will think that you’re willing. You’re not a kid anymore, they do notice that you’re a woman now.”

She stayed quiet, Mei Mei’s words burning on her skin worse than the summer heat. She did not want guys thinking about her that way. She simply wanted to be their friend and the idea of boys and girls being unable to do that because of bodily differences made Shoko shudder.

“You want to help your friends, right?” Mei Mei asked when Utahime got out of the water.

Shoko nodded.

“Then become a doctor. That’s the best you can do to others with the technique you have.” Her words were probably meant to be comforting, but they made Shoko’s heart sink to the bottom of the ocean.

“Shookoo!” Utahime ran towards the two girls sitting on the beach towels.

“Are you willing to swim now?” Sand and water droplets clung onto her radiant skin that the younger girl admired silently. Shoko felt her heart skip a few times in her chest when Utahime offered her hand to her.

“Sure.” The shy smile stretched on Shoko’s lips.

“I’ll stay here. But you guys have fun.” Mei Mei announced as she opened the book next to her the pages slightly crumpled up.

Shoko did not really register Mei Mei’s voice anymore. She grabbed Utahime’s hand and the world slowly faded away around them.

****

Shoko went through the bathroom nimbly avoiding piles of clothing or takeout bags as she looked through your bathroom cupboard. She found a bag of half used cotton pads and a micelar water from the mess.

The taxi drive had felt like eternity. Your tears had dried before settling in the car and numbness had taken over. Shoko helped you to your bed and said that she’d come back soon, closing the door behind her giving you some space to change into something more comfortable.

The door opened. Shoko looked at you and sat on the bed. You were using a pillow as a support for your back. The night lamp’s warm color casted shadows around your puffy face. The woman shook the bottle in her hand and poured liquid on the white cotton pad and tilted your face towards hers.

She pressed the pad on your eyelid carefully letting the mixture soak through the heaps of makeup on your face. You sniffled sadly before speaking.

“I can do this on my own too.”

“I want to do this,” her voice was soft as she spoke the makeup remover leaving your skin slightly cold. You simply nodded and admired the way her hair framed her face.

“You know I’ve had my own bad experiences too,” Shoko said, her face turning to a slight frown. Her mind was sailing in memories that she had given up on trying to understand.

You were at a loss of words. You wanted to pry, but it felt invasive.

“With them? Really?” You heard yourself asking as you danced on the line of impropriety.

“Yeah,” Shoko hummed, “but we shouldn’t have this conversation yet. Maybe in the morning, but not now,” she tried to make her voice sound brighter, feel brighter as if it would fix everything.

“Okay,” you said. Maybe she’s right about this. Shoko discarded the dirty cotton pad, simply placing it on the bedside table. It was at its limits the whole thing turned into the color of your foundation with the small black streaks of your mascara on it, or what was left from it.

She held onto your face gently for a moment too long even after she was done. You opened your eyes to really look at her. She looked so sad and.. young? Yes young was the right word. She looked like a woman robbed out of something sacred. She had been so happy, so easy to excite in her youth, but now all she seemed to carry was baggage.

Your drunken mind wanted to close the distance, but something held you back. Maybe it was all the answers that were still being withheld by her, maybe it was the understanding that it’s not the right time yet.

“Can you stay the night?” you whispered. Shoko breathed in and opened her mouth to say something, but you were faster. “Please? Th-there’s some clothes you can borrow in my closet.”

She stayed quiet and you waited patiently.

“I’ll stay.”

You smiled weakly at her and muttered a gentle thank you. She shuffled up from the bed and walked over the closet you had pointed for her. You turned your back to her when you heard the rustling of clothing that she ended up piling up neatly on one of the spare chairs in your bedroom.

You fluffed up the pillow next to you and lifted up the blanket when she climbed in. You turned your back to her as you lay down on your side. Your hand searched the light switch and then the room was pitch black.

Shoko awkwardly came closer to you till your back was against hers and she played with your hair idly in the silence. The touch was friendly, your body slumping in relaxation almost immediately. It was nice to have someone there. You had gotten so used to being afraid of the nights.

“Good night,” she said, her voice hoarse.

“Night.”

***

You woke up alone with no trace of the woman in your room. She had gotten up earlier than you and dressed up back to the clothes she had in the bar. You hugged your plush blanket, almost burying your whole face underneath it, not ready to face the day.

Your head hurt and you felt nauseous. How is Shoko even able to do things? You wondered to yourself.

The faint knock on the bedroom door disrupted your thoughts as the door opened slightly.

“I made a sandwich for you and found some painkillers, if you want any,” she said and you heard her steps further away again.

You groaned and threw the blanket away from your body, the cold greeting you roughly.

Your kitchen had gotten miraculously cleaner, the multiple empty beer cans piled in a bag and the dishwasher hummed quietly. You stared at the brown table in front of you that had two sandwiches and glasses of water on it, hunger long gone from your body.

“You really should drink less.” Shoko picked up another empty can from the counter just to place it in the bag.

“Like you’re the one to talk.” You sat on the chair with its legs squeaking against the floor with your rough treatment.

You grabbed the pill bottle and rattled out two tablets that you threw in your mouth and drank barely enough water to chase them down.

“What do you remember?” Shoko asked and sat in front of you. She wasn’t feeling very hungry either.

“I remember punching Nanami and the talk we had before we fell asleep,” you mumbled, playing with the edges of the slightly crusty lettuce between your sandwich. You had meant to use it on a salad a few days ago, but you were too tired to cook for yourself. Even the simple things were hard. “What did I tell you?”

“Nothing. You were just crying.”

Oh. So it was like that.

“They assaulted me.” Your face was stern, emotions hidden behind a wall. The words felt weird. It was the first time you had actually said it out loud.

Shoko’s face widened from shock.

“They what?”

“Don’t make me repeat it,” you hissed.

“Sorry, I won’t.”

The silence felt unbearable and you stuffed your face full of bread just to do something.

“They did something similar when we were still in school.” Shoko ripped the hangnail painfully from her skin and pressed on the miniscule wound with one of her fingers.

You chewed the sandwich aggressively without tasting anything, the texture turning to mush in your mouth.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Your words were way more accusatory than what you wanted.

Shoko turned her head to the side looking hurt by your sudden outburst. Her eyebrows scrunched together in pain as she looked for the perfect words, but there were none.

“You admired them. I didn’t want to take that away from you, and when I realized that I probably should have said..”

“Bullshit, Shoko. It’s been ten years. I deserved to know, you could have-”

“Stop blaming me for their shit!” she yelled. Shoko never yells.

You fell quiet. You reined in your anger, its hands still attempting to reach out to anything it could latch on. She was right. It’s not her burden to bear, but you still couldn’t help but feel powerless, when there could have theoretically been someone who could have told you to not go there.

“Sorry,” you simply said just to drop the topic. Shoko sighed defeatedly and pushed her head briefly against her hands. She understood the anger, she really did.

“They drugged me and then raped me together. I don’t remember a lot from it. I fought back – well attempted to,” your voice shook as you spoke.

The brown haired woman simply looked at you with silent empathy.

“Did you at least get one good punch in?”

Your lips curled into a downhearted smile. The memory of your feeble fight playing in your mind, the weakness and despair of it all, a futile attempt of a prey to preserve their life just one moment longer.

“Not a single one,” you laughed hollowly as one tear rolled on your cheek and your lips trembled. “But I did rip some hair out of Geto at the school,” you tried to brighten your voice and be brave.

Shoko’s eyes watered and she answered your smile with her own.

“Good.”

The almost happy expression faded from your face. Everything hurt, never had you ever thought to be in a situation like this where you were exchanging devastation with your friend like gifts on christmas.

“Why did you stay? Even Nanami left for a while, you could have done the same.” Your question was gentler this time.

Shoko pondered for a minute, not sure of her answer either.

“Because this is the only way I could help. I had you and Utahime and I didn’t want to leave you two behind. Besides what else was I supposed to do? I’ve been given a technique that can save many if I choose right. Had I left a lot more could have died because I wasn’t here — all because of what two men did,” she tried to put her thoughts together.

“There’s a reason why Utahime doesn’t like Gojo,” Shoko blurted out and played with her hair.

You took a careful sip of water as if you were trying to carefully dissect the different flavors of Shoko’s words.

“What do you mean? Did they do something to her as well?”

“No. I just mean that women know, you know? I think it’s in our blood to recognize danger. That’s one of the reasons she despises him. But this is just my thought, not an universal truth,” Shoko wondered out loud.

She breathed in once again as if the words she was about to speak were too painful.

“I think sometimes us women have to carry the atrocities of men. There’s no rhyme or reason why they do certain things. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I never went through what you did, but I can’t say that I’m surprised,” she mused. “I’m sorry though. What you went through. It’s not right.”

Her brown eyes stared at you expectantly. You chewed on your lip nervously and tapped the empty plate with your nail, the small tinkle sound working as a metronome.

“No, it’s not,” you huffed. But it feels like it’s my fault. If I had not gone there, if I had not idolized them – loved them even. This wouldn’t have ended this way. It was easier to leave those words in your head.

“So what now?” You looked at Shoko, your eyes pleading, asking for answers, guidance, anything she would be able to provide to you. You knew there was nothing clear cut Shoko could say, but god how you wished that someone would know what to do.

Shoko shook her head in defeat as if telling you that she wasn’t able to point you on the right track like that.

“Whatever you want. You can stay or go, but you don’t have to carry it alone,” Shoko said, her face gentle. You could still draw out the remnants of the young girl from the year two thousand and six on her features. The lines were almost faded but they were still there.

You found kinship in her even if neither of you had shared the full story of what had happened. You weren’t there yet and you weren’t ready. Instead the two of you skirted around words unspoken finding solace of at least having someone who could understand. It was up to the both of you what to make out of the confessions of the past.

#tw: noncon #shoko ieiri x reader #ieiri shoko x reader #yandere gojo satoru #yandere geto suguru

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squishycheekanon · 4 months

Text

Limerence | One

C H A P T E R O N E

limerence / lim-ê-rêns / (noun)

“Obsessive romantic attraction towards another person”

Summary: In which the owners of Jujutsu Incorporated, the Ôgami brothers, are suddenly interested in you.

Pairing: Alpha!Sukuna x reader, Alpha!Itadori x reader, Alpha!Gojo x reader, Alpha!Geto x reader, Alpha!Nanami x reader, Alpha!Kenjaku x reader

Status: Ongoing.

Genre: werewolf au, soulmate, polyamory relationship, angst, fluff, omegaverse, a/b/o dynamics.

Warnings: smut, violence, mentions of knotting, heats, ruts, insecurities, some descriptions of reader’s body, mention of possible ED, omegaspace, domdrop, swearing, blood, depression, suicidal thoughts, possessiveness, obsessive thoughts, Alpha tendencies.

Chapter warnings: self hatred, insecurities, mentions of insomnia, anxiety, depressive thoughts, Sukuna being a little shit, reader being sick, anxiety medication.

Masterlist | Teaser 1 | Chapter 2

Taglist: @better-imagination-9 @tiredjuniper @jjkz @honeybeeboobaa @cherryblossomdelusion @dependsonthedream

Taglist is open.

————————————————————————

Happiness is a fickle creature. A constant companion to some, hides herself entirely from others. She’s been an elusive creature to you. You don’t particularly remember the last time happiness had visited you, it had been so long since she’d hidden herself away, you barely remember what she looks like.

Nevertheless you feel yourself still seeking her out, even if you’re wholly against putting yourself into situations that are good for you. Why would you when you don’t deserve for her to find you. Maybe she never will and maybe that’s all you’re worthy of.

The distress and utter despair you always feel are now numbing agents to you. It feels like a heavy weight on your shoulders weighing you down so intensely but you should be used to it by now. It’s been years. You’ll be celebrating the ten year anniversary soon.

Ten years since you had parents. Over ten years since the world went to shit. Years of being thrown around the foster system, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere, never feeling wanted. The people who took you in just wanted the money that came with you.

You tried your hardest despite being moved around constantly and being part of shitty families, to study your best. To get good grades and have good attendance. You could say you threw yourself into your school work so one day you’d be smart enough to leave wherever you were.

The bullies certainly liked to choose you as their target, and despite some teacher’s best interests, the bullies always got to you.

Even when you graduated and went to university, you were still bullied, though again you worked hard and kept to yourself.

You graduated university and got the first job that was offered to you, an assistant editor at the best publishing company there was; Panda. Your job kept you busy and allowed you to not only support the publisher but also the commissioning editor with development and delivery of a manuscript.

You also worked closely with authors and editors, supporting the editor with admin help and coordinating with other departments such as sales and production. With reading all the manuscripts, it allowed you to fall into the worlds authors had made. It let you take your mind off of the reality you faced.

So wrapped in your self loathing and hatred you almost missed the alarm telling you to ‘wake up’ though you’d been awake for hours. Insomnia really is a bitch. You were slow getting up and ready, but your early alarm prepared for that. The kitchen floor was freezing against your feet, you practically ran to get your glass of water and anxiety medication.

Taking your time you grabbed your outfit for the day, a black Solid Cable Knit Sweater Vest With a white Blouse underneath, and black slacks to match. Removing your house slippers, you pulled on your ankle socks and slipped your feet into a pair of black loafers. A little gold chain across the tops of the shoes, easily matching the gold chain bracelet you wore.

Not bothering with a jacket, you simply grabbed your bag and the manuscript you finished before leaving your little apartment.

On your walk to work you passed cute bakery’s with mouth watering smells emanating from them. If only you had the time and money to get a sweet baked good, they all looked so delicious.

A frown slipped onto your face as you approached Jujusu Incorporated Headquarters, the tallest building in the city, the biggest being The Jujutsu incorporated training compound. The Ôgami brothers really have done so much for, not only the country but also the world.

Too bad they weren’t around when all this werewolf mess started. It would have stopped your tragedy. You stared up at the massive sky scraper, no expression on your face, it stayed that way even after you walked away.

In said building, Sukuna relaxed back into the black swivel chair, his body tired and in desperate need of rest. He was reaching close to his limit, he would soon pass out from exhaustion he knew that much. Being more than a little irritable and moody, it was like Christmas Day when his easy to wind up brother walked into Kento’s office.

“Saw you on tv pisshead, you have fun?” Sukuna taunts his older brother with a dirty grin plastered on his face, one of his sharp eyebrows arched. Satoru sighs glancing at the face Sukuna was making, it grated on him, causing an itch to settle in his nerves. Gritting his teeth to do his best not to show the younger that he was affected.

“It was riveting.” Satoru spat running a hand through his white hair as he walked further into the big office, “Don’t be jealous Sukuna. I know you don’t like the spotlight but I love it. I’d appreciate you putting aside the competitive little narcissist that rages within you and letting me savour it.” Satoru had a grin of his own now, knowing he hit a nerve too.

Sukana growled deep within his chest, the noise causing Satoru to challenge him with a growl of his own. “Enough brothers.” Kento scoffs at the display of childish behaviour, “Satoru, the public is pleased with our imagine because of you. You should be proud of your achievements.”

“Thank you Kento.” Satoru nodded his head toward the pack Alpha, the sides of his lips curving up in the tiniest of smiles.

“Kiss ass.” Sukuna scoffed with a roll of his sharp red eyes. Kento shot him a small glare, being pack Alpha had its perks. Each of his brothers had to obey him, nothing to do with being the eldest to. Kento was simply born pack Alpha, his personality traits were that of a pack Alpha and his scent reeked of his leadership.

“Let’s wait for the rest of the pack before we start with the kiss ass comments, Yuji isn’t even here yet.” Satoru joked, a smirk playing on his lips causing his brothers to smirk in turn. Almost as if he knew, Yuji, Kenjaku and Suguru walked through the large double doors.

Kento pulled off his armless glasses dropping them on the desk, “So now that we’re all here, we can begin our weekly meeting.”

“Saw you on tv-“

“Shut up Kenjaku.” Kento cut Kenjaku off.

“Already said it.” Sukuna laughed his head thrown back at the similarity between his brother and him. You’d think that Sukuna and Yuji, and Suguru and Kenjaku would be the most similar due to being sets of twins however they could not be less alike.

“Let’s just get started so we can get on with our days yes?” It was rhetorical, “great.” Kento answered himself, joining his brothers as they all took their seats at the table. He went over, press statements about the company. New Alphas that are one route to be transferred. Alphas that are graduating their training. And an upcoming interview at Panda.

“Don’t they publish books?” Suguru questions looking down at the list of things Kento was reading out.

“They’re branching out, wanting to get involved with the news and since the owner of the company is a close friend of mine, I’ve agreed for one of us to do an interview.” At this Satoru looked up his bright blue eyes harshened by a frown.

“One of us? But that’s my job.” He squeezed his hands together.

“Yes but you’ve spent the past two months travelling for publicity and away from your pack as well as your home. You will be resting for two weeks, remember strain on yourself…”

“Puts strain on the pack.” The entire pack spoke the last sentence, all of them nodding in agreement.

“Fine then who’s it going to be?”

You’d arrived to work on time and after fifteen minutes of being there, you wished you’d called in sick. The whole building was going crazy, people running from one place to another. You felt severely overwhelmed and overstimulated, it was taking a second for your brain to comprehend everything. Usually work was slow, a few meetings that were a slightly faster pace, but all in all work was slow.

This right now was crazy. That was the only word you could use for it. Then it got worse.

“I need you to do an interview.” Mr. Panda, your boss, didn’t ask but demanded. You knew you didn’t really have much say but a small part of you wanted to argue against it, that wasn’t your job. You nodded anyway taking the list of questions he had handed you.

You watched him walk away with a sick feeling clawing its way up your throat, it burned and tasted of chemicals. Maybe you should’ve had breakfast this morning before you took your meds. Anxiety swirls around your head and in turn has your stomach flipping, your feet are moving and before you can process you’re over the toilet dry heaving.

A tiny bit of sick comes out, your face scrunches up with the horrible taste. You pant hard as you come to terms with what’s happened, your body shaking while you try to calm your mind. Tears threaten to spill onto your cheeks, you try to control your shuddering breath. Picking yourself up and dusting yourself off, you flush the toilet and head to the sink to wash your hands and mouth out.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you notice how dark the bags are under your eyes, how small and frail you look, how lifeless your eyes look. You are the perfect representation of how dead you feel inside.

As if your brain picked the most unimportant thing to worry about instead of being critical of yourself, you realised you didn’t have the interview questions with you anymore. Sighing you left the bathroom and went back to the main office area.

You spot them on the floor, thank goodness they’re still there, you think as you make your way over to them only for someone to grab them first. Irritation settles in your bones, you huff annoyed before looking up at the thief who stole your interview questions, more like the thief who took your breath away.

Your heartbeat was pounding in your chest, so loud that was all you could hear. Your cheeks were tinted pink and you felt flustered the longer the man in front of you stared down at you with his piercing red eyes. His lips were slightly parted, pink hair messy and he. was. big. You felt so tiny with the way he towered over you, your omega for the first time in ten years let you know of her existence with a deep purr.

It had his wolf purring too. Sukuna prided himself on control. Control over his body, mind and wolf. Yet one simple look at you and he felt his control slipping out of his possession. His wolf snarled inside him, the usually peaceful barrier between the beast and man already breaking. His wolf desperate to get out, mark you as his. Claim you.

“Ah I see you two have already met.” Mr.Panda comes over with a smile, “It’s good to see you Sukuna. This is the woman who’s going to interview you.”

Sukuna hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for a second even when you looked at your boss while he spoke. Mr.Panda introduced you to each other, hearing your name, Sukuna did everything in his power to stop his eyes from rolling back into his skull, instead the rubies moved down your body.

You were truly beautiful, his wolf wanting nothing more but to sink his teeth into your delicious thighs. Your luscious, sweet chocolate scent made him want to devour you mind, body, and soul. He knew immediately, by your scent that you were his mate.

The interview was intense, he never looked away from you. He was always studying something, your eyes, your thighs, your figure, everything. It made you squirm in your seat, it had you uncomfortable and self conscious yet you felt adored at the same time. It was a confusing new feeling to you, it made you wonder where it had come from.

You stumbled over every question, your hands shook as you wrote down his answers. You weren’t scared just so incredibly nervous, no one had ever made you feel this way before. Sukuna asked you if you had anymore questions, all you longed to ask was if his heart was beating as fast as yours but you were too afraid to hear the answer.

“N-No I don’t,” You stuttered, “that was the last one.” You looked relieved but he looked disappointed. Quickly you stood, bowed to him and rushed out of the room, you were basically jogging to get back to your office when you felt a strong hand on your shoulder spin you around, he pulled you in close, you began to tremble all over. You felt his warm breath against your lips, red eyes staring at yours intensely.

“T-This is highly inappropriate.” You tried to look anywhere but his beautiful eyes as he spoke.

“Maybe for regular people.” He nodded in agreement, then his voice took on a deeper octave, “But certainly not for my mate.”

332 notes · View notes

acewoo · 4 months

Text

＊ Bad Decisions

Pairing: Suguru Geto x Reader

Summary: Both you and Geto are in the student council and have been paired together to work on an important event plan. Although things started off rocky you somehow find yourself quite literally underneath him.

Content: NSFW, fluff, AFAB, slight enemies to lovers, teasing, praising, degrading, dom Geto, unprotected sex, fingering, sexual tension, slight mentions of depression and abandonment, flirting, smut.

Word count: 7.1k

a/n: this took wayyyyyy longer than I thought it would take lol. Anyways I tried shortening this a bit so if some pieces seemed rush I apologize :v

Suguru Geto is a student council member, a star student, an amazing athlete, and your worst nightmare. Similar to Geto you were on the student council which consisted of 12 members. The student council was looked up to by the rest of the school, and heavily respected. There wasn't anyone who was a considerably bad person to be a part of it- except for Suguru Geto.

“Hey Y/N how are you doing?” your eyes dart up to see Geto’s soft pure smile. How nice of him to check up on you. He was polite and anyone else in the room wouldn't see the act as sinister. There had been a few times people had mistaken you for being close friends because of how friendly you were with each other. But, they don’t see him like you do. You respond to his gesture by giving an annoyed pout and then smiling. “I’m well Geto, just a bit annoyed.” he raises an eyebrow keeping his pleasant demeanor. “Oh? And why might that be?” you could hear the mockery in his voice. Nevertheless, you stood your ground. “Just some social issues with someone, you know how it is.” He nodded, giving a small chuckle. “Yes, I do… Well, I hope you can sort things out then Y/N since you're already going through so much.” you just nod without giving any verbal reply. He started to head out of the classroom but, before fully leaving he looked back at you. “And see you later.”

What an insufferable bastard. You pack up your belongings not wanting to even acknowledge the last comment he made. The student council meeting was later today, which you weren't exactly thrilled to attend because of a certain someone. Your dislike for him has always been this way though. Since freshman year everything about him pissed you off. Was he smart, sure but a total asshole. He’d come off so polite and kind. You could see right through it though. His politeness. Just a way to mask his mockery and selfish intent. It was obvious he thought less of most people, it was obvious he’d be kind only to further progress himself. You swore to that, but couldn’t tell anyone how you saw through because, well how could others believe you? So, you kept silent harboring your disliking to him.

Similar to yourself, Geto saw right through you. He knew you hated him. He saw the way it looked like you were holding back punching him every time he spoke. He saw the way you would so sweetly decline any event that he’d be an important piece too. Most importantly he saw the way you saw him, and it amused him. Geto indeed finds many of his peers to be lesser or monkey-like, but not you. You were interesting. Sure you might not have been the first one to see through him but, you were the first to play the same game as him, with him. Even if it wasn’t fully by choice. The fact you both were in the student council this year too was like a blessing from god himself. Giving him the perfect opportunity to mess with you as much as he wanted. And if you or anyone else questioned it. Well, he was just trying to get closer with a fellow student council member!

The meeting was nothing special, mostly. It was more or less the casual rundown and discussions. Until it wasn’t. See near the end of the meeting, the club advisor- your principal. Had asked that Geto and you stay after everyone left because she needed to discuss something with the two of you. Your immediate thought is, why him?

“Thank you, guys, for staying, I have something I’d like to have your help with.” She paused as she leaned forward in her chair. Suguru had the same demeanor as usual. You did too, well mostly, you were slightly anxious but it was manageable your knee was bobbing up and down making small tapping noises anytime your heel touched the floor. “See, our school will be hosting this event on the 31st and we need help with planning it… it’ll have many scouts here and important people attending. With this I’ve selected the two of you to plan and coordinate the event.” the smile that was painted on your face drops.

“With all due respect Ma’am I’m thankful for this opportunity but… Wouldn’t it be more beneficial if all twelve members of the student council helped with this event rather than two?” You said trying to stay polite. She nodded before responding. “Sadly not, considering the time we have it simply would be too hard to try to plan an event with that many people involved. Alongside that based on previous events hosted by the student council, it tends to be you or Mr. Geto who takes the lead on these projects, it’d be best.” You weren’t sure how to exactly argue against that. Before you could get another point in anyways Geto speaks up. “I think it’s a lovely opportunity, ma’am, Y/N and I would be honored to plan this event together.” both heads turned to you and you hesitantly nodded. “Agreed… We’ll start working right away Ma’am.” They both smile and the two of you are dismissed.

Once you guys got decently far from the meeting room you pulled Geto to the side and snapped. “Are you serious?! ‘Y/N and I would be honored’ Why the hell would I ever want to work with you!” Geto was slightly shocked by your outburst but, he chuckled, he fucking chuckled. He then shrugged and replied. “I’m sorry Y/N I don’t understand what you're trying to say. Did I do something wrong?” he didn’t even try to hide the enjoyment in his voice. He loved seeing you get so upset. It was a rare sight, like finding diamonds in the dirt. Of course, he had to appreciate this moment the most he could. Your jaw was tightened as you spat out. “Look, I don’t know what bullshit you're planning to do for this or with me but, I want none of it. If I’m working with you I am not going to deal with your-” he sighed and waved off your concerns. “Don’t worry yourself with that Princess, I'm not planning anything.” You were about to comment on his sudden use of a pet name but he beat you to it, handing you his phone. “We’re going to need to stay in touch.” You give him your number and quickly leave, not wanting to be in his presence any longer.

That evening you were in your room laying in bed petting your cat and doing basically nothing. Your parents were out on business and wouldn't be here for two weeks. so, the whole house was yours. As you were lying in bed you received a text from an unknown number.

+810203271224

Wyd?

You paused and remembered you had given Geto your number.

You

Doesn't concern you

What do you want Geto

+810203271224

Was js checking up

But by that answer, I suppose ur not busy

You don’t respond by figuring out what to type. As you started to type out a come back he sent another message.

+810203271224

Can I come over

To work on the event planning

You

I mean we don’t need to do it today

+810203271224

But ur not busy

And I'm not busy

Working now would be for both our benefit

And really you couldn't disagree with him. So you agree. Now it was just a wait-and-see game for when he would arrive. With that time you tried to tidy up a bit so your room wasn’t a complete mess.

Knock Knock Knock. You open the door not looking through it since you knew it was Geto. He shut the door behind him and slipped off his shoes. “Your place is nice” His voice was, well how would you describe it? He was Geto but something sounded softer? Just, something was different. You sit down on the couch and look over in his direction. His hair was down, and it was long. In full honesty he’d never have his hair down in school; always having it in some kind of bun. His hair down framed his face perfectly. You must have been staring because Geto spoke again. “You're acting like you’ve never seen me before Y/N” “I just never saw you with your hair down that’s all” you spoke embarrassed as he sat on the other side of the couch. “It’s nice,” you mumble, not sure if you're speaking to him or yourself. He turned to you “That gets a compliment from you? I need to start wearing my hair down more than.” you rolled your eyes before opening your laptop. “Yeah yeah, forget it, we need to start working on this, the sooner we finish the better.”

Working with Geto was weirdly pleasant. He gave good input, he was easy-going, and overall a productive person. Right now he was typing away on the laptop trying to budget. You wait by watching him type away. His hands were nice- not that it mattered. Why were you even paying attention to that, hell why were you not completely hating his presence right now? You get up to get some water. The cold water traveling down your throat helped you regain some sense of logic. Suguru Geto is not a nice guy. Remember that. He comes off nice, and just because you're not in school, it doesn’t change anything. Remember he’s just doing this to get something from you. Geto Suguru is not your friend.

It’s 11 pm now and Geto finally leaves. He’s slipping his shoes on as he’s talking to you. “Later, Y/N have a good night.” and just like that he was gone. That was good. Now you can finally go to sleep, after all you have school tomorrow so, it’s better not to waste the night.

“I just don’t get it,” Gojo groaned over the phone. Suguru and Satoru told each other everything, so of course, after Geto came back from his little session with you he told Gojo all about it. Gojo didn’t get Geto’s fascination with you “Get what?” “Your obsession with her I mean she had a nice ass but-” Suguru cut him off before he could finish. “She’s fun to mess with. Most people don’t know how to see me but, in her case, she saw right through me. On top of that, she hasn’t done anything about it other than make a few comments. I suppose I just want to see how far I could push her.” In response, Satoru rolls his eyes. “I get it you have a crush on a nerd girl good for you man.” Geto scoffs “Not a crush, and you know it Satoru.” Satoru doesn’t respond and they quickly change the topic. Both of them blabbering on till early morning.

the next day

You were in class utterly bored, who wouldn’t be? Your teacher was on some lecture about ecosystems' energy flow or something of that sort. Thankfully, this was your last class so you could finally relax a bit. You were looking forward to it. Keyword, were. Until a notification showed up on your phone.

Geto 🖕

What class u in?

You were utterly bored, so you gave in.

You

AP bio y

Geto 🖕

Wanna skip:v

You

Yeah no

Geto 🖕

It’s the last period ur gonna be fine

Besides ur such a goody two shoes no teacher will care if ur gone for a period

You contemplated. And knew you were going to regret your decision.

You

Wya?

Geto 🖕

Meet me outside

And so you did. It wasn’t hard to leave even with your stuff. Teachers don’t ask questions, especially for students like you. “You actually did it. I'm shocked, I didn't think you had it in you.” Geto was leaning up against the side of the building. Two others next to him, which you recognized instantly. To his left, a man just as tall as himself stood with white fluffy hair and circular sunglasses. Satoru Gojo, you didn’t have anything against him but he had a certain reputation… Popular varsity basketball player, of course, but that wasn’t the only thing he played, to say the least. A bit farther strayed from the group was Shoko, the most tolerable out of the three. She was one of the few openly queer people at your school and was much more laid back than most. You had talked to her a few times since she was also on the council but, outside that you didn’t talk much. “Suguru, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone else,” Gojo spoke, making you completely forget about the first comment made by Geto. Shoko then interjected herself “Hey I don’t mind having another girl along.” Gojo scoffed but didn't speak further.

“So like what now Geto,” you say less than amused, already regretting your choice. “We’re just going to walk around the city, maybe do some shopping.” they were already walking off, with you and Shoko in the back. Shopping didn’t sound bad but, you didn’t have any money on you. You flushed in embarrassment and told the group. “Oh, I’ll sit this one out. I don't have any money on me so…” Gojo was about to say something but Geto spoke first. “Don’t bother I’ll pay for you Y/N”

Now most people, such as Gojo, would be confused about why Geto offered to pay, especially since you weren’t exactly close to one another. But, to Geto, it was a perfect idea. Geto knew you would protest and spout on with nonsense about how you’d never let a guy like him pay for you. He also knew you would eventually give in. That’s just how you were. As you eventually did give in, Gojo whispered to Geto. “Not a crush my ass- why else are you inviting her out with us” Geto cut Gojo off waving off his concern. “Satoru I’ve told you before why, it’s just like that, nothing more,” Gojo spoke under his breath before the group started conversing with one another. You didn’t speak much. Only speaking when spoken to. By now you guys had decided to head to the mall and it wasn’t exactly the worst scenario to be in. Were you with the man you couldn’t stand, yes, but was he also paying for whatever you wanted, and have not terrible

friends (well Shoko, maybe not Gojo) to hang out with? Also yes.

“So, Y/N you and Suguru” You and Shoko had decided to get some food while the two boys went to do something. And now Shoko was curious about you more specifically your relationship with Suguru so, of course, it was her first idea for a conversation starter. “It’s nothing, he’s just an asshole.” Shoko hums “So, why accept his invitation in the first place?” you hum leaning back in your seat. “Well, yes I don’t like him. I do have to deal with him because of his involvement in the student council. Sure I’d like to avoid him as much as possible but, hell I’m bored and he didn’t have any clear ill intent other than irritating the shit out of me.” Shoko laughs and you take a bite out of your food. “Geez you sure are like him Y/N” You point your food at her and yell at her in a lighthearted manner. “Don’t you ever compare me to that man. I don't even know where you’d get that idea from Shoko.” Your response just made Shoko laugh more. “Hey, don’t take offense to it, I don’t mean it in a bad way, it's just the way the two of you excuse things.” Shoko paused “Look just forget I said anything” and you do. You knew Shoko meant no harm and you didn’t take offense to it. (well maybe some.) It wasn’t long before Gojo and Geto came back.

“Heyyy looks like you’re having fun Shoko, talk about anything interesting?” Geto laughs putting his hand on Satoru’s shoulder. “Now Satoru, it’s not very polite to ask a lady about her private affairs.” Gojo scoffs, making some comment to Geto you can’t make out. It doesn’t matter anyway you and Shoko were done eating so, it was perfect timing. Plus you didn’t want to talk with her any longer anyway (Well more that you don't want to talk about Geto any longer.) It had been a while since you’d been to this mall so a flood of memories had come back to you. It was nice. Geto interrupted your train of thought though when he tapped you on your shoulder. “Any stores you want to go to?” you thought about it. Your first thought was to go get anything you needed but, at the moment you were well off. So, you figure a clothing store wouldn’t hurt. “M’ not sure… I mean a clothing store would be nice. Nothing fancy I mean just-” Geto nods and guides you guys through the mall. Gojo was complaining to Shoko since he’s been demoted (You now walk where Gojo was previously.) Shoko got him to shut up by telling him some random gossip.

Visvim Focused was the store Geto took you to. Not by any means low-end. Did you know Geto was well off? Yeah a bit, he didn’t clearly show it off like Gojo did, wearing designer brands any day of the week. But, you’d notice the small things. Like the watch, he was wearing it back at your place. But, that’s beside the point. You began browsing through the lines of clothes trying to figure out what you’d want to try on. Having difficulty deciding Shoko chimes in. “You lost?” You sigh, shaking your head. “I just don’t think any of this will look good on me yah know.” Shoko hummed as she looked through with you, she gave you a few picks you were hesitant about but tried out of politeness. While you started to go through them together Gojo and Geto were doing their own thing. (Gojo forced Geto to watch him try on 100 different outfits.) While you were trying on a certain dress and as you were about to step out the two boys had finished up and made their way over to Shoko. You stepped out unaware they had come over and the first thing you see well hear is Gojo doing a dog whistle. Your face flushes and you mumble to Shoko. “I don’t know Sho I don’t wear stuff like this yah know…” Shoko wraps her arm around you “Awe come on Y/N you look great wouldn’t you agree Suguru.” Your eyes darted to Geto, slightly nervous mainly because you were sure that he’d make some comment to try to upset you. What he did though rather surprised you. “I think you should get it, it looks nice on you.” He had a soft smile. It felt weird. You went back into the dressing room and took a breather. “It looks nice on you.” he was always nice to you but this was different. It didn’t have anything laced in it. That’s what was probably pissing you off the most. This whole trip he’s just been nice.

You’ve been staring at the dress for an hour now with only one question in mind. Why? He spent over 137.000 yen on you and didn’t even hint at an alternative motive. It pissed you off. Like a lot. Suguru Geto the person you had labeled to be the worst fucking asshole on the planet, was being nice, to you. The person who would constantly take any chance he got to get under your skin, was just treating you like a friend. You wanted to scream, so you did. In your pillow. As you were busy doing that a text hand came through your phone.

Geto 🖕

Not today but

When would you want to meet to work on the planning again

He waited for a response tapping his finger against the armrest of the couch he sat on. “What’s got you all antsy Suguru?” Shoko asked as she took a drag from her cigar. “It’s nothing Shoko.” Shoko laughed “That’s what's got you like this, Nothing? Here I thought you were a good liar.” Leaning back she continued. “Ooo let me guess it Y/N, come on it’s gotta be. What’s up with you guys anyways?” Geto laughed and similar to you waved off her interest, the only difference was Geto found her asking much more amusing than you had. “It’s nothing that you're thinking about, it’s just fun to mess with her. She’s such an interesting girl I can’t help but poke fun. You know how I am.” Shoko and Geto stayed talking to one another for a while. In that time you finally realize you had gotten a text. After your small childish fit (thirty minutes) you rolled over to open your phone. And low and behold the first notification on your screen was none other than those texts.

You

We can do Wednesday

Tmr I'm busy working on finals

Geto 🖕

Cool

See u then

He had responded almost instantly but then had gone silent. Not feeling like thinking about him any longer, you decided to head to bed and worry about dealing with him on Wednesday. You had gotten the dress Geto got you off your bed and put it in the very back of the closet. To not be seen by anyone. You didn’t want to see it, seeing it made you more confused than you were.

The next day went by fairly fast with nothing eventful happening at school. And when you got home you made yourself some instant ramen and began to study. It wasn’t anything special just like the rest of the day, it was calm. After studying you lay in bed scrolling through your phone. A notification had rung up from Shoko whom you gave your number to the other day.

Shoko

Hey hey

You

Ello Sho

Anything u need?

Shoko

Nothing of that sort

Js wanted to see how you are 😉

You

I’m good

Hbu?

Shoko

I’m good

You guys went back and forth for around an hour before you stopped texting back because you needed to sleep. Shoko was easy to talk to, and enjoyable to talk to (unlike Geto.) And this routine had gone on for the next week. You and Shoko had grown close. As for Geto, you guys met up that one time but, since then you both have been busy. Well by busy you magically kept having things popping up for you (excuses) so you couldn’t see Geto. And for that week Geto didn’t push too much. For that week… Once the two-week mark hit he hadn’t exactly been as easygoing as the previous week.

On this particular day, Geto had pulled you aside after a student council meeting. “Look Y/N, I was fine with this little cat-and-mouse game for a bit. But, it's over, and stop with the excuses.” While Geto found it amusing that you'd tried to ignore him for a bit, he also couldn’t pinpoint why you were doing this. He’s well aware you didn’t like him but, the first few meetings the two of you had went pretty smoothly which is why he was confused about what had changed. (Not that he was worried or anything but, the game would get boring if it kept going this way.) You stood there for a minute not saying anything. You then mumble, “We can meet tonight.” Geto was sure he was seeing you wrong because you looked like you had blush on your face? No, it was probably you getting upset at him, that's all.

After he left you went straight home and slammed your door, you were pissed. Not at him, well at him, it was complicated. See you were upset because you had come to a realization that was weirdly painful to admit, Geto was just as human as you. And yeah you knew that but you didn’t know that. And the craziest part of this, you were spiraling over one comment he made. One scene. It pissed you off, he pissed you off.

Around a week ago

“Yes, I think it’d be better if we did this setup for the music rather than that…” Working with Geto was going as smoothly as the last few times. It was nice, it was nice he wasn’t giving you trouble. At this rate, you guys would only need to meet maybe one more time before you were finished planning. Which was good, you were almost done dealing with the devil. You guys continued to work. Geto asked a question that wasn’t about event planning. “Hey Y/N you know every time we’ve worked at your place, and every time your parents aren’t here, why is that?” you answered, you're not sure why you did but you did. “Oh, they just travel for work a lot. It’s been like that since I was young.” Unintentionally the last part of your statement came off conflicted. And you were about to make some comment to not open up that vulnerability but, Geto spoke before you. “That must be hard.” your head darted to his face trying to analyze for the deeper, malice reason behind his words. But, you couldn’t find anything of that sort. Geto was still typing away but, you swear you could see some kind of fragility in his eyes, something you’d never see in someone who isn’t another person. And that’s what made you choke up, Geto wasn’t the devil, he might not be the most purest of people, but fuck at the end of the day he was human, just like you.

And that’s how you're in the predicament you're in now, you're utterly conflicted. It was easy to blow off Geto and dislike him when he didn’t display his humanity. Now though you couldn’t do that all week you’ve been hung up on that fact. In no way did it mean you like Geto, you still dislike him. Just your rude thoughts about him feel slightly cruel now.

Geto 🖕

My place tn?

You

Sure just give me address

The pit in your stomach grew, god why did you care so much, it was one comment. It was funny because Geto doesn’t remember that situation at all. Or at least in the way you viewed it. He was still trying to piece together why you were acting the way you were acting. He didn’t remember making you uncomfortable in fact, he was going out of his way not to because he wanted to see what would happen. But, this reaction was not at all what he was expecting. Thinking about it just left him more confused so he focused on something else for the time being before you came over.

Ding Dong Geto opened the door with the soft smile that usually plastered his face. “Ah Y/N glad you came, wasn’t sure if you were” he joked as you walked inside. His place was nice, surprisingly clean. After a few minutes of viewing the place Geto offered some drinks for the both of you and the two of you got started. You were both a lot more quiet than usual. And you couldn’t help but keep looking over at Geto. You hadn’t even realized you were scotting closer to him until you felt your body slightly touching his. As soon as you realized you had jumped back he laughed. “Get lost in the moment princess?” your face turned red and you replied back. “Oh hush it’s warmer on your side so, I was probably moving there because of that.” he chuckled again before asking in a more playful manner. “Is that so? Are you saying you're cold?” you nod hesitantly not sure where he was going with this. Knowing that tone though definitely nothing good. He got up and went off to another room, once he came back he had a blanket in hand. He sat next to you placing the blanket over the two of you.

You tried to nudge back, but there wasn’t much room for you to go and you groaned. “Geto do you have to be so close there’s a whole couch-” “The blanket wouldn’t reach across the couch” you wanted to protest but, gave up shutting your mouth. You guys continued to work and were able to finish up the planning completely. You stretch out in joy now that you finished you could head home. “Woooo finally done!” you then yawned, as you had realized the time. “Wow we went on for a while, didn't we, already 1 am.” Geto said as he got off the couch grabbing a beer and offered you one. “Oh, I’m not a fan- thanks though” he nods and you clean up ready to go back to your place. The only problem is all the train stations were closed, and your house wasn’t exactly walking distance. You bite your lip trying to figure out what to do. You're knocked out of your thought process though, when there was a tap on your shoulder. “If you need, you can stay here since it's already late.” Fuck, why’d he have to offer that. You in no way wanted to stay with Geto, but at the same time walking home this late at night didn’t seem pleasant either. You groan, slipping your shoes off. “You know what I’ll take that beer-” and he smiles, handing you the other bottle.

So, maybe you guys got carried away (you did). After Geto offered you one you had another… And another… After that he stopped you but, it didn’t mean you didn’t feel the effects of the alcohol. You just wanted to have one to be able to loosen up a bit, but then you figured fuck it you didn’t want to remember any of this. “Thought you didn’t like beer?” he joked, his hair was pretty, it always was when it was let down. You weren’t even aware you had begun to softly stroke it till he faked coughed. “There's a spare room across from mine… You can sleep there here I’ll show you.” Your face flushed as he helped you up. His place wasn’t huge, but it was nice. When you entered the room he was about to speak but you spoke before. “What will happen after this?” he turned around giving you a confused look. You bit your tongue, “After the event is finished what will happen. Are things just… Going back to how they were me hating you and you periodically teasing me..?” Your throat was dry, you weren’t sure why you were saying this, frankly you didn’t care. Geto was confused because he didn’t expect someone like you to get this emotional out of the blue, of course being under the influence lets people speak their mind much more freely. “Is that what you want to happen?” you bit your lip sitting on the bed. Your eyes darted down to the floor shifting focus constantly. “I don’t know what I want… But, I don’t hate you, and I don’t want to act like I do. Once this ends after tonight… I don’t want to act like I hate another person…” You let out a long sigh before hesitating. “I don’t want to lose you Suguru” For the first time you had said his name, not his last name not his full name, his actual first name. In such a gloomy way, it was like his name was something special to you; maybe it was. Even though you were in no way the first person to use his name, or the first girl to stay at his place, or anything of that sort. You were the first time he felt something, he didn’t think he could. Your voice was soft and raw, the complete opposite of how you came off to you. Something about seeing you in such a weirdly vulnerable state made Suguru Geto go silent. There was no teasing comment, no malice there wasn't any of that. He shook it off ‘you’re drunk, you don’t know what you're saying’ he thought.

“Goodnight Y/N” the door shuts.

You’re awoke to soft rays of sun resting onto your face. Your eyes feel heavy as you turn off the bed. Before you fully get up, memories of last night flood your mind. You were so stupid. You didn’t even want to get out of bed, you laid back down. Maybe the mattress would let you fully sink in, be consumed by it and never have to see the light of day again. You wanted that. Sadly you couldn’t sink into the sheets and never come back, life doesn’t work like that. You get up with an army of thoughts weighing you down as you grab the door handle to leave the room. You take a deep breath swallowing the lump that had stilled in your throat and opened the door. You marched out to the living room and the smell of bacon? Your eyes darted in the kitchen and Suguru had stood there, cooking what was in fact bacon, along with eggs. “Sleeping beauty finally awakes.” he says in a playful tone, it was friendly though. You don’t move towards him but your mouth begins to slip open. “I’m sorry about last night… I- my mind gets all fucked when I drink.” you speak guilty dying on what Geto would say luckily you wouldn’t have to wait long. “It’s alright you didn’t do anything wrong.” you bite your lip “Yeah But-” he turns around placing down the spatula he was using. Walking over to you he looks down at you, his hand gently cupping your face. “Y/N it’s okay I won’t judge you or see you any different for something you said drunk.” Some alcohol must've been left in your system because you tug his head down. You fucking kiss him.

His head dipped down pushing further connecting your mouths more than before. He didn’t pull away. It didn’t take long for his tongue to slip inside you, it was welcomed joyfully. Pulling back you regain your breath Suguru didn’t wait long though before pushing you against the wall. He softly let out a whimper and he kissed you again. Your lips were vibrating against one another, it felt warm, and he felt safe. While he was intense and rough there was also a gentleness to his touch; it was intimate in a way that wasn’t just lust. His knee slipped between your thighs applying an ever-so-slight amount of pressure. You craved more. Still interlinked as you try pushing more pressure onto yourself, Suguru’s leg quickly drops through ashe chuckles. “Oh come on Y/N why try to rush this?” his voice was like velvet the way he whispered in your ear sent butterflies not only to your stomach…

You whimper whining to him “Come on Sugu’ please-” Geto’s face was buried in your neck humming. “Using nicknames now princess? You must really want this then.” his hair was down which was causing strands of hair to tickle your chin. His hands traveled down your waist as he continued to speak. “Tell me… how wet are you for me?” his hand was already dipping into your pants. His middle finger hooks your underwear. He doesn't move any further though and looks at you. “Before I go any further, do you want to do this Princess? I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold myself back if you say yes though…” you whine biting on your bottom lip, fuck you were hot. “Please Suguru-” and that was all the confirmation he needed.

His fingers slip inside your underwear and start toying with your clit ever, his middle finger rubbed ever so slightly against your entrance driving you crazy. Your jaw was shaking as you tried so hard not to make a loud noise. Suguru obviously took notice, he pressed his thumb into your cunt causing you to moan out of shock. “I won't allow you to purposely stay quiet Y/N.” his thumb moved out and was replaced by his middle finger and ring finger stuffing themselves deep into your dripping sex. Once they rested deep in you he started to make a scissoring motion stretching out your walls.

He barely even started and you were a mess, heavy breathing with flushed cheeks, God you were beautiful like this. He wondered how much more pretty you get when you are ruined. A third finger entered inside you and you chocked up a moan. “Sugu- too much-“ he laughed softly. “Too much? We’ve haven’t even started yet… and if you can’t take this how are you going to handle my dick inside you?” He didn’t sound sympathetic in the slightest, he was enjoying your suffering. If it was any other situation you would’ve cursed him out but, for right now you kept your mouth shut.

His digits started thrusting in and out of you, his pace started off slow but quickly grew in pace. At the same time his free hand was slipping down your pants while firmly holding a grip on you. By now your own hands were grasping onto his shoulders, your nails crinkling his shirt. “Loosen up, you're so tight it feels like you’re going to snap my fingers.” Suguru spoke as he continued to thrust inside you. You moaned softly panting as Geto felt his pants painfully tighten. He couldn’t wait much longer but seeing you like this made him desperate to savor the moment. Usually when he fucks people he tries to get down decently fast, taking too long to get to him fucking someone’s brains out usually leads to him being ever so greatly uninterested. You though, he wanted to see how much he could push you, he wanted to break you and see how much of a mess your perfect little self could become.

It didn’t take long to make you cum over his fingers, your walls clenching and your breath shaky. “F-fuck” you moan out gripping harder on Geto’s shoulders. Your head pressed on his chest and his fingers sliding out of you. He takes fingers and presses them against your mouth. “Suck” it wasn’t a request, it was an order. And so you obliged opening your mouth and sucking his digits clean of your very own fluid. When he removes his fingers from your mouth he replaces them with his mouth and tongue. You feel him groan against you and you feel his erection grind on your unclothed pussy.

He couldn’t wait much longer, he needed to feel inside you god he had fantasied moments like this. Yet when it was so close to becoming reality he felt absolutely insane. He unbuckled his belt and you help him, pull down his pants and through his boxers your could really get an idea of his size. He was big. When it sprung free that idea was really put to light and god, it was mesmerizing. He laugh before guiding you to be perched against the counter. His fingers trace down your spine as he lifts up your shirt. Suguru admires the beauty of your bare body whispering “God you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this for Princess” you didn’t have time to pick away on what he meant by that, right now you were focused on feeling him inside you. Which didn’t take long as you could feel him already pressing his tip being covered in your wet content. “G-God…” He was trying so hard to control himself and not shove his whole length in one go.

Slowly his cock entered your clit until he bottomed out. When he did you both let out a soft groan. His pace started of slow and shallow, he was trying to not completely get lost in you’d. But feeling how tight you were around him, god he couldn’t help but go faster. Maybe a bit too fast as you were letting out hiccuped moans. “Sugu- p-please slow down” god you sounded fucking ruined, he loved it. He thrusted into you one more time before he started to slow down, he was getting close. “Fuck bout’ to cum p-princess” he was about to pull out but, you stop him. “Don’t… please- need it inside.” And who was he to deny you…

“God I love you Y/N… so fucking perfect” and you couldn’t help but whimper back to him “I love you too.”

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mania-sama · 3 months

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A Look into Mental Health: Jujutsu Kaisen Analysis

"Being a child is not a sin." (Nanami Kento, Jujutsu Kaisen)

With the release of Chapter 251, I've seen many horrible takes from dudebros saying that Megumi has "sold" the team. This makes me unreasonably angry because of course it does, so obviously my next plan of action is to take all of my hour-long rants about the mental health of JJK characters and put it here, where said dudebros will never see my (correct) analysis in their entire life. Oh well.

One thing Gege is really, really good at is creating believable, undeniably human, and complex characters. Every character has a different set of motivations, beliefs, ideals, and especially mental states. The constant theme of Jujutsu Kiasen has been "Strength vs Weakness". While the clearest interpretation can be seen through the physical attributes of the characters (Gojo being the strongest sorcerer of his time due to his abilities, and Miwa being one of the weakest, again, due to her abilities), it is also directly applied to the mental strength of characters. No two characters are able to withstand the same trauma and come out the exact same, just as no two real people can process the same trauma. Not only is it a result of nature, as people are genetically different and therefore process information differently, but a product of nurture - in other words, character motivation and environment.

This is where we come to the current state of the manga, Chapter 251. The fated Yuuji vs Megumi debate. I keep seeing people wildly misunderstanding these two, and why it's so important that Megumi isn't standing up to fight, why he isn't able to handle his trauma, when Yuuji can.

Gege writes phenomenal characters. And I want to express just how well done they are, making Jujutsu Kaisen actually kind of deserve its popularity, because some people only care about power scaling. I'm going to touch on Megumi last, because understanding all of the other characters' makes his visible struggle that much more impactful.

1. Geto Suguru

I want to start this mental health analysis with Geto. He is the best representation of depression I've ever seen in Shonen. It doesn't take a hundred chapters to showcase a character's downfall. It doesn't take a hundred significant events to cause a character to break down. Gege shows the best, realistic mental breakdown using only a handful of chapters, and still makes it slow and painful.

Depression can start because of a big event, but it doesn't take more for it to worsen. Untreated, depression runs a vicious course that eats a person through slowly but effectively. It isn't one screaming session, hands clutched over the head and cursing God and the world. It's everything piled onto each other. It's coming to the end of that pile and realizing that nothing will ever change.

This is Geto Suguru's story. He has a big event: the fight with Toji and the failure to save Riko. But his mental health journey was fated to decline, even without the fight and failure. The root issue of his depression came from his ability: Cursed Spirit Manipulation. As long as he kept devouring the embodiment of every vile, human emotion, the more he would lose himself to that vileness. He wasn't changing anything; he couldn't help but continue to swim in negativity because that's all he could do.

Gege wasn't making a commentary on Geto's ability. He was talking about people, as they are, and how staying in a bad situation will not always make you stronger. It can, and most likely will, make you worse. A direct comparison to the sixteen-year-old Geto would be a sixteen-year-old at school, surrounded by people who bully and pick on them with harsh words. The kid will eventually consume all of that bullying, all of that negativity, into their being, because there is simply nowhere else to go. School is mandatory; they can't just leave. They eventually feel isolated, with all that vileness piled on. Even if they have friends, those people could never understand what it's like to put up with humiliation and cruelty day after day.

It's not rational to push away a support system, but who said human beings are always rational? People make mistakes. They don't make the right decisions. Geto didn't. He saw someone offer him a chance at change, a possible light at the top of his pile and twisted it to match his overwhelming negativity. He left and swore to destroy the world that made him the way he is, just as that bullied child may turn away from school and society in whatever form that may take.

I want to touch on the physical aspects of Geto's depression, too. I noted this in a previous analysis I did on him (his character is just that amazing, what can I say?), but Gege knew that the mind can't be affected alone. Geto was drawn with deep eyebags, a nod to an inability to sleep or needing to sleep all the time. Depression makes you tired all the time. Everything becomes difficult. He sits with his back hunched, resting his weight on his knees, like sitting upright is too hard. When someone speaks to him, he blinks and takes a second too long to look over or respond, like speaking takes too much energy. To me, it even looked like he was becoming thinner. It's extremely difficult to maintain a schedule of exercise and mealtimes when your mind is fighting an active war against itself.

Again, a beautiful representation of depression. Geto means a lot to me in this aspect.

2. Gojo Satoru

In comparison to Geto, Gojo's horrible mental health is a lot subtler. Depression isn't the correct term, but you don't have to be depressed to be sad. Sadness is his stagnant state; he has moments of bliss, goals to work towards, a reason to keep going, to continue living, to continue chasing the sun over the horizon, but he does return to the same place he is always at when the lights turn off and he's painfully reminded of this one fact: he is isolated.

All of Gojo's problems start and end with isolation. From the moment he was born, everyone knew he was different. He knew he was different. Through glimpses of his childhood and honestly reading between the lines, it's obvious he never played with kids his age. People don't just develop a superiority complex with their only drive to be better than literally everyone else for no other reason than to get better. It comes from somewhere, and in Gojo's case, it's from his young childhood. It seriously messed him up; even now, he can't shake the lesson that "Strength is the only way to success and happiness".

This is what made Geto so important. Geto was somebody who could share the burden of being the strongest. Geto was someone his age who understood him in a way Shoko could not, though they both were able to see Gojo beyond his capabilities as a Jujutsu sorcerer. Gojo then had somebody to base his moral principles on. Because he couldn't connect with anybody else, he had no basis other than strength. Geto taught him why it was important for the strong to protect the weak.

Then everything went wrong. Gojo became isolated again in his strength and lost the only person who could plausibly stand with him. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?" Gojo was young, then, and fresh-faced into his newfound godhood. He didn't kill Geto in that moment because he wanted to deny the claim that he is nothing without his strength, that he isn't as shallow as he was raised to be.

But he knew better. He grew older, he killed his best friend, and he realized that he was nothing without his strength. He never got over Geto. In order to cope with the guilt of being unable to save him when he left, he adopted a whole kid, thinking that if he wasn't strong enough to save Geto, maybe he could save Megumi. But there it is all over again - he never broke from the cycle of strength defining his worth. Saving Megumi would define his strength, right? It would prove Geto wrong, right? He raised Megumi under the same logic (that the only way to save his sister is to be strong), only ridding the boy of the crushing isolation.

In this way, Gojo isn't mentally weak. He didn't abandon society and everyone who loved him, instead choosing to hone the trauma of his isolated childhood into a weapon and teach the next generation to be better than himself. He isn't depressed, but he isn't happy. You can't be happy if you're alone all of the time. He hoped Megumi could be someone to stand by him, but in the end, he failed to save Megumi. His strength couldn't save him, just as it couldn't save Geto.

He isn't mentally strong. He isn't weak, either. He is horribly, painfully average. He's not weak enough to be saved, but not strong enough to save others. His childhood plagues him, but not to the point where it prevents him from living. He killed Geto but was unable to bury the body. Gojo is everything he never wanted to be.

As it turns out, strength can't buy you happiness. Gojo may have understood that, but he couldn't abandon it, even to the bitter end. Just as a human struggles to shed their conditioning. Not everyone can break the cycle, but we are always trying our best to work with what we've been dealt.

3. Okkotsu Yuuta

I'm putting Yuuta in between Gojo & Geto and Itadori & Megumi because he is, in a way, a bridge between the two. Geto and Gojo have lived their lives; their stories are complete and ended in tragedy. Itadori and Megumi's are not. They are still actively struggling and fighting their physical and mental battles; their stories have yet to be completed.

Yuuta's story isn't technically completed (ignoring everything that happened in the recent chapter with him for the sake of MY mental health), he is still a success story. He is the average protagonist who started from the bottom and ended up at the top. Only he, as Gege has done time and time again, has a slightly stronger focus on mental health than most other Shonen. He is success where Gojo & Geto failed, and the success that Itadori & Megumi are narratively striving for.

At the beginning, Yuuta was depressed and suicidal. He was bullied at school and involuntarily hurting others. Instead of becoming resentful of the world, he pushed all of the vileness inward. His guilt caused him to try to take his life, presumably multiple times, but Rika stopped him before he could succeed. His life was effectively out of his hands; he felt powerless with all of the bodies stacking around him, and he couldn't atone for "his" actions.

His mental health, as it was, was in shambles. Gojo then offered him a way forward. Yuuta's mental health did not improve overnight. It was when he made friends at Jujutsu High, and developed a support system, that he was able to relieve his anxiety and realize that life is not so bad after all. That all of this pain and suffering and loss - it will pass.

The most important thing to acknowledge when it comes to Yuuta is the sheer fact that he was not alone, nor did he allow himself to be alone. Unlike Gojo, who still had Shoko and Nanami after Geto left but refused to connect with them, Yuuta allowed himself to get close to those around him. They didn't know the suffering he'd undergone for so many years. They didn't know what it was like to be him, but that was okay. He knew that they had empathy, that even though they could never experience his life, they could still be there for him now when he falls.

When given the opportunity to surrender, Yuuta stands in the face of one Geto Suguru and swears to protect his friends and fight with Rika. He's so far removed from the boy who tried to kill himself at the beginning of the manga, and that's because he let himself be changed. He did not succumb. He had friends, he knew. People that would miss him if he left, and people whom he would regret leaving.

This stays consistent with his character. He doesn't let himself become isolated in his strength or his experiences. He's much stronger than everyone else in the room, he's a special grade and he knows that, but he still treats everyone like they are equals. Like they are his friends, like they are people who could share this burden of existence with him. This is something that Gojo couldn't accomplish, which lends to the fact that Gojo had a very off-hand teaching method when it came to mentoring Yuuta. Instead of influencing him under this idea of strength conquers all, he let Yuuta develop far away from the ideals of the Japanese Jujutsu Society.

And, in the end, the fact of him being physically strong - a special-grade sorcerer from the get-go - never helped him in his mental health. In fact, it made him miserable until he learned to get a handle on Rika. His winning or losing that fight with Geto wasn't the point of his character, it was reckoning with the fact that he is okay now. That he can embrace the ugly part of him with dignity instead of guilt.

4. Itadori Yuuji

Itadori's entire character is that he has an unbreakable spirit. As the only one who can bear the soul of Sukuna, he started off like Yuuta, only on the opposite end of the mental health spectrum. When we first see him, he's happy, spending his afternoons with the Occult Club and watching movies.

... What happened?

Like Geto, everything piled on very slowly. So slow that I'm not even sure he felt the true effects of everything he experienced up until the fall of Shibuya. It starts with the death of grandfather, whose parting words "Just save as many people as you can" haunt him even now during the final fight with Sukuna. He was never given time to properly grieve his grandfather, just as he never had time to grieve the brother curses, Junpei, Nanami, Nobara, Gojo, Higurama. At the end of it all, when the fighting is over, I have to wonder what will become of the boy that realizes he's lost most of the people he loved.

The one time he did try to process it, when he realized that he couldn't control Sukuna, was when he broke down in Shibuya. Sukuna leveled an entire city. For the boy who never wanted to kill another human being for fear of devaluing life, the weight of his weakness killing thousands was crushing. Then Nanami died. Nobara died (still hanging onto that unknown status but I digress). Both are right in front of him, and powerless to prevent Mahito from disintegrating their bodies. So, obviously, Itadori broke down. The boy with the unshakeable spirit, the only person who could contain the King of Curses, has his psyche completely shattered.

He laid on the ground, and he wouldn't have gotten back up if there wasn't somebody to help him, to be there with him. Todo pulled him back together, stitched back up the broken into somebody who has allies and people to fight for. Itadori has the success that Yuuta had, only Itadori did not come out of it with better mental health.

After the breakdown, his unshakeable spirit was nothing more than the will to keep fighting. He cares little for himself, and he tries to distance himself from people to prevent them from dying from his cursed hands. He is jumping, quickly, down the same rabbit hole that Geto fell down. One big event, and they realize just how tall the pile already is, and that it will never stop growing. Unlike Geto, however, he continues to get overbearing support from those around him. Against his will. He can't push them away, for they refuse to leave his side. Yuuta, Choso, Megumi, even Higurama. They won't let him fall. This makes him better off than someone alone, in a sense. He can withstand his trauma when others may not.

Even so, even so, there is only so much support, the lack of self-isolation, can do when the traumas keep actively repeating. When he says that he will gladly die to defeat Sukuna, it is not said with the same tone that another Shonen protagonist would say it. Take Naruto for example. If he were to go into a battle to protect, say, Sasuke, he would scream, "I'll die to protect him." We understand that his willpower is stronger than his self-preservation, but we don't get the idea that he actively wants to die. He'll die if he has to. Now, Itadori says the same thing, but about saving Megumi. He says, "I'll gladly die." There is something different. His willpower is leaps and bounds stronger than his self-preservation, but that's not only it. There is an undercurrent of severe suicidal ideation prevalent in Itadori's tone. It's not that he will die to win, it's that a part of him wants for this to be his final fight. For it all to be over. To save Megumi, then atone for the sin of being too weak to save Shibuya, or being unable to stop the Culling Games, or letting Megumi get hurt when all he wanted was to keep him safe.

I'd call it more along the lines of passive suicidal ideation. He doesn't plan to kill himself, but what would it mean for him to go into dangerous situations without protection? What would it mean for him to succumb to his wounds after he wakes Megumi's soul and kills Sukuna? To not even try to seek medical attention? He's guilty. He believes everything that happened in Shibuya and after is his fault. When faced with the executioner's sword, he was ready to die for his sins, if not for the goal of ending the Games. There is a fine line between willing to die for those you love versus wanting to die for those you love.

Right now, Itadori is fighting to save one person, like his grandfather said. He is not fighting to survive. And that's what people fail to understand about Itadori when they compare him to the other members of the cast. These power-scaling dudebros don't understand that their favorite OP main character has fallen apart at the seams, that his unshakeable spirit to save people doesn't include himself.

5. Fushiguro Megumi

Here we finally come to the question: Why can Itadori take it when Megumi can't? There is a very similar quote that you probably think of whenever you hear this question asked. It's from The Outsiders: "Dally is tougher than I am. Why can I take it when Dally can't?" The answer to this question that Ponyboy gives is the same we can attribute to Megumi. "And then I knew. Johnny was the only thing Dally loved. And now Johnny was gone."

The entire reason Megumi became a Jujutsu sorcerer was to protect his sister. When he was five years old and probably too young to understand most of the words Gojo said, he accepted the offer of training to become a sorcerer in exchange for Tsumiki's happiness. Every day, he fought to protect her. He only had one goal in entering the Culling Games: to prevent Tsumiki from having to participate.

It's easy to attribute Megumi's constant attempts at summoning Mahoraga to a lack of will to live - suicidal ideation, the same that Itadori now experiences. On one hand, I do understand that he has a fundamental lack of care for his own life, but on the other, I don't think that he intends to throw it all away every single time. He just didn't know any better. Ignorance can lead to death as easily as intentionally seeking it out. That's why he changes his habit after Gojo gives him a lesson in risking death versus dying to win; Megumi still has someone to live for, after all.

Megumi's mental health was already rocky from the start. Not that it was in shambles like Yuuta, but he wasn't fully stable. Like a lot of teenagers, he's moody, somewhat reclusive, and only really likes one or two people maximum. Teenagers aren't known for their sunshine mental health anyway.

Megumi was given time to grieve Itadori after he first died. This trauma of losing him in front of his eyes stuck with him, but he was allowed a grace period of two months to grieve with Nobara. He experienced Shibuya, too, but he still had that one important person to protect. His mental health was alright at this point, all things considered. As long as his sister was alive, he would be fine.

Sukuna knew this. So Sukuna killed Tsumiki using only the Ten Shadows Teqchnique. The one person Megumi spent his whole life dedicated to, was killed by his own cursed technique, his own failure to suppress Sukuna.

In the void of his soul, Megumi was alone. Truly, utterly alone. The only person nearby was Sukuna, the murderer of his sister, the murderer of thousands upon thousands of people. He drowned in the ceremonial bath of crushed curses to hold his soul down in the depths of despair, literally drenched in all of the vileness the world has to offer. Sukuna killed Gojo using Mahoraga's adaption ability, and before that, Megumi was forced to take several of Gojo's mind-altering domain expansions.

Already, he had given up. He gave up when his sister died, but the rest ground a pointed spur into his neck. When Itadori shakes his soul, Megumi is repeating, "That's enough." He was at the end of his rope a long time ago. What more is there to keep living for? He doesn't want to live with the blood of his sister, the blood of the man who practically raised him, and the blood of countless others drenching his hands.

Sukuna killed all of these people, not Megumi. But then, Sukuna killed of those people in Shibuya, not Itadori. Why can Itadori take it? Why can he keep fighting when Megumi lays broken on the ground? Itadori wasn't alone. And Megumi has never been known for his unshakeable spirit. That is the one thing that Itadori can hold over everybody else, the one trait that everyone admires. He was born to shoulder the burden of the world. Megumi wasn't. Megumi wants to die. He is not passively suicidal, for he has no goals left to complete, a plan to die within the body no longer inhabited alone. He is suicidal. He would drive a stake through his heart if it meant relieving his pain. He doesn't want to do it anymore. He's had enough.

And Itadori was in this position once, too? Perhaps not as directly, but he was there. Here is the moment that the protagonist gives the motivating speech to will someone to keep fighting, that life is worth living. I realized today that this is not something Itadori has done yet. He hasn't had a grand speech that's not been about his own willpower. He's never encouraged someone else to keep living in the way that you would expect from the main character. This is his moment, I suppose. He needs to be the person for Megumi that Todo was for him. He has to show Megumi that he isn't alone.

He needs to save Megumi when, all those years ago, Gojo couldn't save Geto.

I don't think some of this fanbase understands how horrible Gege has to be at writing if he just. Let Megumi get up to fight in Chapter 251. All this time, he has shown how Megumi has been defeated. He showed him crumbled on the ground, unmoving. It shouldn't be a surprise that all of the measures Sukuna took to ensnare Megumi's soul worked. Megumi is suicidal after the people he loves have all died because of his technique. God forbid a sixteen-year-old is unable to cope with his trauma alone.

Honorable Mentions:

There are a lot more characters in this story that represent/show mental illness that I didn't go into depth on but are worth mentioning. It was easier to only talk about the major characters since we spend so much time with them and I can fully flesh out everything that should/can be said about them. Anyway, here are a few more that are notably well-written in their mental struggles:

Yoshino Junpei. His story arc follows very similarly to Geto, except he is the bullied student I was making a reference to. Depressed, alone with a mother whose habits he can't stand, he turned to someone he thought could provide him a better life. Interestingly, he is a good representation of the type of children that tend to be groomed. That's surely what happened to him. Mahito used him, then discarded him for his own gains.

Ieiri Shoko. Her main struggle can be seen through her smoking habits. She's been through a lot, lost so many people, and has to keep healing sorcerers only for them to die. Eventually, she was able to come to terms with this. She kicked her smoking habit at the same time she kicked the vicious mental cycle of caring too much about the patient on her table. It's no wonder she picked up a cigarette, for the first time in a while, when Geto led the phantom parade.

Zenin Maki. She works as a very good contrast to Megumi. They both lost their sisters, the people they loved the most, but she turned all of her grief to killing the Zenin clan and gaining Heavenly Restriction. But this, this is because she could do so. There is simply nothing Megumi can do as a soul trapped in his own body. Her grief made her stronger, while for most, it made them weaker.

Inumaki Toge. He isn't seen a lot, but his story is ultimately quite compelling. A boy who hurt many when he was young. He turned his guilt into kindness, a will to protect. He tends a garden to raise plants healthily, for God's sake. He's one of the examples that shows Yuuta that your past actions don't define you, but instead, what you choose to do going forward.

I am not proofreading any of this before I post it. Sorry if it is borderline unreadable with spelling / grammatical errors.

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lynn-writes-things · 2 years

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till death do us part

• jjk men reacting to your death

ft: Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, Yuji, Megumi, Toge, Yuta (no Sukuna cause truly I cannot picture him caring, sorry)

wc: 1.9k

cw: I’m sure you could gather this from the title, but death! specifically reader death! no details given, nothing explicit, just mentions of reader being dead and the boys dealin with it :( ALSO: mentions of blood + injury in Yuji’s ; mentions of major depressive episodes in Megumi’s ; mentions of disordered eating + alluded suicidal ideation in Yuta’s

Satoru Gojo:

Is it too sad to say that he’s starting to get used to people he loves dying? At least you weren’t killed by him. That’s a plus, he guesses. Gojo tries to keep face, he acts like he’s fine, like he didn’t just lose the love of his life. He still smiles and laughs, but it’s always forced. He visits your grave on a daily basis, usually at night, so no one sees him. Honestly, he talks to you like you’re still there - fills you in on all the gossip, all the latest missions, what he’s done today, etc. But he always, always tells you how much he loves you, how much he misses you. Poor guy is grateful for his blindfold, because if anyone were to catch him on his walk back and see how red and puffy his eyes were, he think he’d lose it. He curses the higher ups for sending you on such a dangerous mission alone. Curses himself for not going with you. Overtime, he’ll heal up, he’ll learn to be happy again.. but he has no idea what to do with the ring he never got to give you, though..

Kento Nanami:

He leaves again. Not for good, no, he has to track down the fucking curse that got the best of you. He’ll do it if it’s the last thing he ever does. And honestly? He’s gotten reckless with his fights. Nanami let’s his anger fuel his actions, which means his judgement is clouded, it makes him sloppy. He doesn’t care for his own life anymore, not if it means a life without you in it. Gojo pulls him out of action for awhile, but tells him that when they track down the curse, that Nanami will be the first to know (Gojo fully intends to go with him, whether Nanami wants him to or not). He doesn’t visit your grave every day, it’s too painful, but he does go at least 2-3 times a week. He cooks your favorite food, drinks your favorite wine, even though he’s always found it to be way too sweet. Your plants are always watered, hell he even buys plant food and does research just to make sure they stay alive - he just needs to keep some part of you alive with him.

Suguru Geto:

He becomes ruthless. His followers have never felt his wrath like this before, and honestly, it makes some of them want to leave. Geto will laugh if they try, because there’s no fucking way they’re leaving alive. Ever since Riko’s death, he’s felt so empty, full of despair. His confidence as a cult leader has always been a well crafted farce, a facade that he fronted expertly. But then you came along and brought him joy again. You taught him how to be soft again, to smile again, to laugh again. Geto loved you, wholly and completely, which is why he always kept you so close to him, always keeping an eye on you. Figures, the one time he brings you someplace with him, the one time he lets you go off by yourself for a few minutes, tragedy strikes, and he can’t save you. Watching the life leave your eyes right before his own, as he cradled your head to his chest, it’s a sight that he’ll never forget, no matter how badly he wishes that he could. That curse is the most vile one he’s ever had the displeasure of ingesting. Geto knows though, that very moment solidified it for him.. love is the cruelest curse of them all. And it’s one that can never truly be exorcized.

Toji Fushiguro:

Numb at first, honestly. The home you shared had never felt so empty before. He hates it. He wants to leave, never see this place again, but part of him won’t let him do that. Not yet, anyways. Ever since the death of his first wife, Toji had been lost to the darkness, he went back to his old ways with a vengeance, until you came around. You, with your vibrant personality and sweet smiles. You taught him how to love again. That there’s still light in this dark world, and you led him back to that light. It’s because of you that he was able to reconnect with Megumi, to actually have a family again. Toji loved you, he changed his ways for you, got a job that didn’t involve killing for you. He would’ve done absolutely anything for you. But now you’re gone, and he feels lost again. Megumi doesn’t let him go back to his old ways. He’s old enough to actually talk to his dad this time, and he does. Toji can’t bring himself to hurt his son again, not now. Sure, he does take up a couple “side jobs” here and there again, but he still tries to do right, for the most part. Megumi actually makes a deal with him - Toji might not be able to actually exorcise curses, but Megumi can. Together, they track the curse down, and avenge your death. It doesn’t offer much comfort, but having closure is better than not. At least it’s something.

Yuji Itadori:

When he finds out, it quite literally feels like the air has been stolen from his lungs. It hurts worse than having his heart ripped out (trust him, he knows). Doesn’t openly cry in public, save for a few tears. He’s in too much shock. When he’s alone in his dorm though? That’s when it hits him. He screams, yells incoherent curses, sobbing the entire time. His wall now has a couple new holes, but honestly, that wasn’t enough. He goes outside and ends up beating the shit out of a tree until his knuckles are all bloodied and broken. Megumi and Nobara find him like that, brought to his knees in front of that same tree and just sobbing into his bloody hands. After the initial outburst, he just goes numb. He doesn’t leave his dorm much unless he has to, Megumi or Nobara bring him food because he’s stopped getting it himself, they always sit with him while he eats just so they know he does eat. Even Sukuna can’t get a rise of him, it’s almost like Yuji doesn’t hear him at all, until he gets too tired and just replies “shut up,” or some halfhearted plea to be quiet, but his voice is quiet and entirely void of life. Now, Yuji’s no stranger to death. His parents died, his grandfather died right in front of him, but you dying hurt him in a way that he can never describe. To say he loved you didn’t even scratch the surface of it, Yuji adored you. He definitely goes in your dorm and grabs your clothes, including the hoodie you stole from him on your very first date. He kept it all long after they cleared out your dorm, just so he could have something that smelled like you to help him sleep at night.

Megumi Fushiguro:

Completely shuts down. Won’t even talk to anybody other than extremely basic responses. Inumaki says more than a devastated Megumi does. He has it bad, poor guy totally neglects himself, too lost in his own head to remember to practice proper hygiene every day. He can’t sleep, has no appetite to speak of, hell he barely drinks water until someone forces him to. Which they always do, someone checks up on him at least once a day, though Yuji and Nobara are a near constant presence. Surprising to no one, he gets extremely reckless on missions. He’s lost yet another person that he loves, what’s the point in being careful? He’s pulled from action for a while, Nanami suggests he go to counseling, but Megumi can’t see the point in it. It won’t bring you back. It’s not like with his sister, there’s no hope for you to wake up ever again. To be honest, Megumi gets very bitter. He’s angry. At the world for taking you away too soon, at the higher ups for sending you on a mission you weren’t equipped for, despite Gojo’s telling them that. Hell, Megumi is angry with you for dying. He tells you that much when he visits your grave, the first time that he went he was yelling at you for leaving him, he was cursing the entire world. That was the first time he actually cried over it. He broke down at your grave, Gojo found him sobbing in front of it, and did his best to actually support Megumi, to comfort him a bit, because Gojo does understand how it feels to lose someone you love too soon. Megumi doesn’t think he’s ever going to recover from this.

Toge Inumaki:

He just.. breaks. Shatters, really, like glass. He’s angry, pissed off, actually, because he knew something like this would happen. He fucking knew it, the second that they sent you on a mission alone. Hell, he pleaded with Gojo to let him go with you, but it was out of his hands. Inumaki had almost snuck off with you, almost fucking did it, higher ups be damned.. but he didn’t. He talked himself out of it, saying that he was acting crazy. You’re strong, you’d be fine.. so when he found out that you weren’t? He blamed himself for not going with you. Yuta is really the only person he wants to be around, because he knows that Yuta understands the pain he’s going through right now. Except you didn’t get to come back as a curse. Honestly, he knows he shouldn’t wish this, but he kinda wishes that you did come back as one. He just wants to be with you again. He wants to hear your laughter, to see your smile, feel your arms around him one last fucking time.. it’s not fair. On one of your first dates, you got matching bracelets with little riceball charms, and Toge never ever takes his off. When your matching one was returned to him, he took it to your grave and placed it there. It’s yours. At least this way, you’re still kind of connected, right? Even with his medicine, he couldn’t speak for a couple of days after he first visited your grave. No amount of begging you to “wake up” changed a thing, but he damn sure fucking tried..

Yuta Okkotsu: (god, can I even do this to him?)

Shuts himself away, locks the door and doesn’t like anyone in. He doesn’t leave to eat, but his friends always leave something outside of the door for him, texting him to let him know it’s there. He hardly actually eats any of it, but he pretends for their sake. No one questions why he’s been going through more garbage bags lately. He spirals, badly. Losing the second person he’s ever loved, after losing the first to an early death as well? It kills him. Why does everybody that he loves die? Is he cursed to have that be his fate? The isolation doesn’t help, he knows it makes it worse, but he can’t bring himself to stop it. Honestly, he briefly considers joining you, but he knows that Rika wouldn’t let him. His isolation only lasts so long before Gojo intervenes, forcing him out to socialize, even if Yuta is miserable the whole time. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t help distract him a bit. As much as he misses you, Yuta is glad that you didn’t come back as a curse. He finds some solace knowing that your soul gets to rest, rather than live in a way that he knows you’d hate. He hasn’t been sleeping much, and it shows when he falls asleep at your grave sight, his tears pooling below him. You come to him in the dream he has, and it both breaks and helps mend his poor heart when you tell him that you’re still watching over him. Yuta laughs a little when you start scolding him for how poorly he’s been treating himself, but he promises you that he’ll start doing better. And he does. He tries, for you.

#hehe this made me cry!!!#jjk angst #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #suguru geto x reader #nanami kento x reader #yuji itadori x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #inumaki toge x reader #yuta okkatsu x reader

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astromaxi · 8 months

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[Popular Boy Gojo!]

A/N: first post, kind of poorly put together, but I'm getting used to writing again

>:[

Warning: Underage drinking, mentions of sex, mentions of Gojo manipulating people, brief talk of mental breakdown and depression, yandere(?), poor writing, hinted this is teenager Gojo, Gojo liking your smell too much, he likes you? I think,

(Let me know if I miss any warnings) (Also I didn't proofread, didn't edit this that much, so probably some spelling mistakes.)

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Popular boy Gojo, who is praised for his god-sent features, from his inhuman, sky-blue eyes to his mountain height and his cocky body language, knows he is pretty too. That is the troublesome part

Popular boy Gojo, who is not only pretty but well educated. He knows how to use his words, when to give a sly smile, and when to be touchy and only acts dumb when trying to manipulate a student or teacher for personal gain.

Popular boy Gojo, who has been with contactless men and women doesn't feel any attachment towards them, the only person he feels a connection with. Is his best friend Geto Suguru

Popular boy Gojo, who always shows up to any parties, or is the one hosting them. He always follows the same pattern, drinks too much, hook up with some stranger, and then forgets what happens the next morning, maybe, one day, he will feel something following this routine.

Popular boy Gojo, who has been to many therapists to help him out with his inability to identify his emotions, and to explain his constant empty feelings. He stopped going after the 5th one told him the same thing the other 4 did. It's okay, he can always find another fling to distract himself

Popular boy Gojo, who only allows his best friend, Geto, to see him in one of his breakdowns. He cried for hours, questioning why him, of all people, has to deal with this kind of emotional pain. All the while Geto holds him, rubbing his back as comforting words fall from his lips like a river.

Popular boy Gojo, who sees you for the first time at a party he is hosting for homecoming, he spots you hanging around your friends, drink in hand, having an amazing time. And something in him snaps.

Popular boy Gojo, who can't tell if he admires you, or downright hates you for how lively you are, who is experiencing the very emotions he dreams for, but he can't keep his eyes off you, as you sway your hips slightly to the overly loud music. He feels his thoughts get run over by you,

Popular boy Gojo, who makes his way over to your group as some of your friends excitedly welcome him over, as he stands right next to you, The first thing he notices is how taller he is, and a need to protect you overcomes him. The next thing he notices is your addicting smell, even over all the sweaty teen bodies, he can only smell and see you.

Popular boy Gojo, who after the party kept seeing you everywhere around school, and each and every day more of his thoughts get clouded with you, he clings to these thoughts and feelings you provoke in him. After for so long not feeling anything finally, finally, he feels something, and he isn't letting this go, he isn't going to let you go. Not after how much you have affected him in just a few weeks.

#jjk x reader #gojo satoru #yandere jjk #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #gojo saturo #gojo x y/n #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #x reader #badwritinghelp #AstroMaxi #daddygojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru x you #jjk satoru #satoru x reader

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deathbxnny · 2 months

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Ik i already sent a request to you but.. once you said you’re also accepting JJK requests. I just had to. I hope you dont mind this

Ok so im not into JJK as much as i am into Genshin and HSR and all but im aware of season 1 plot and some of season 2. But can i request Gojo and Geto with an underclassmen who they have a sibling like relationship die and came back as a curse spirit? (While this request have them together, you can make them seperate if you want)

Here the context:

So the reader is a year below Gojo and Geto. After some time since you guys met, the two of them sees the reader as their cute little sibling and in return the reader sees them as their cool big brothers. All was fine until the reader died from a mission. How did the reader die? They dont know. Both of them werent told how the reader died but if there’s one thing they were sure of, the reader wasnt killed by Jujutsu. Because what other explanations do they have when they see you come back as a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit they need to take out.

So in the JJK wiki, it is said that “Sorcerers must also be killed with Jujutsu or they can become a vengeful cursed spirit after death” Which makes a very good angsty sceanrio dont you think?

Hope you have a great day/night!

- Flower Anon 🌸

Hey there, Flower anon!! I absolutely love this idea, and thank you very much for the tasty angst. I've been itching to write some jjk angst, haha. Also, regarding your other request for the second part to the Lyney x reader one-shot, just know that I will make it in a separate post to your ask due to formatting issues! But either way, I hope you meanwhile enjoy this!<33

Content: Heavy angst, platonic relationships, Geto is deeply depressed, Gojo is in denial, hurt/no comfort, reader is a year younger than both of them, vague descriptions of readers death, mentions of blood/injuries, vague descriptions of jjk canon violence, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

Inspired by the song "Death" by Melanie Martinez

((Not fully proofread))

Back from the dead.

At first, you appeared in the flickers of lights, in the corners of mirrors, in the shadows casted by trees and their own bodies, in reflections of windows and water, in gruesome, awful dreams.

And then you began being there in larger ways. You'd stand behind them, follow them around, no matter where they went, no matter where they looked, you were right there.

It was easy to ignore you at first, act like you didn't exist, like you were just a part of their traumatised, exhausted imagination. When was the last time they had slept properly? Perhaps the day before your funeral. Your face was plastered everywhere, a smile gracing it like it always did, an excited, pure one for a sorcerer. But there was nothing to be excited about anymore.

Maybe that's why you looked so sad now, as you stood in front of them in this classroom that was reserved for people a year older than you'll ever be.

Suguru wondered if you felt guilty for taking the color of their world away with you when you died.

"You know... denial never suited you, 'toru." You whispered quietly to Satoru, breaking this suffocating silence at last. Your body leaned against the desk a row in front of him. It all felt so casual, as though everything was perfectly fine. You never left. You simply came back a little different.

This was the first thing you've ever said since you've come back, Suguru then solemnly realised in his depressive haze. He nearly didn't hear you and wished he hadn't either. Your voice sounded distorted, like it didn't belong to you at all. But it was still you... wasn't it?

The only visible sign that Satoru meanwhile had even heard you was in a stutter of his hands that in turn messed up his text to Shoko again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. What was he even texting her for again? Maybe for help? For a way out? "I'm seeing things again, Shoko. They're talking now." That's what your colorless eyes could read off his broken phone screen, which made you frown a little. You knew he'd never want to upset you. But he never wanted to face you again. Not like this.

It was so unlike him too, wasn't it? He hadn't been the same for a while now.

It was late in the afternoon by then, the orange hue filtering into the empty classroom through the blinds. An awfully nostalgic feeling that was now filled with tense bitterness. A past filled with laughter and joking now seemingly disappearing into the smoke of the burning incense sticks nearby.

Neither of them had said a single word for the entire duration of your little "hang out" session. Suguru simply leaned his head against his palm, gaze turned to a far away point in the darkening horizon outside, as the sun bid it's last warm goodbye. He took a deep breath, words shaky and filled with a deep exhaustion, not even his dear best friend could ever come close to feeling.

"Let him be... he'll come around eventually." The blackhaired boy muttered back to you, not bothering to look at your bloody, dead form anymore. He had come to terms with it a while ago. Or at least, visibly, he has.

Gojo just took a little longer in accepting your death, is all. Neither of them really knew who was handling the situation worse.

"Who are you talking to, Suguru?" There it was again, the odd denial the white-haired teen had drowned himself in. You never thought that he'd be the one to end up like this. You figured that Suguru would've had it harder, but perhaps this was just one of the many new things you've learned as a spirit. "Stop it, Satoru... you're not helping with any of this. It's just... making things worse." Gojo's teasing smile twitched, his head turning to look at his friend before he seemed to slowly deflate into his seat. You probably could only imagine how red and puffy his eyes were behind the sunglasses he refused to take off nowadays.

But in a way, you must've also understood why he was this way. How couldn't you?

Your death was untimely, unexplainable. No one knew what happened, and your body was never found either. One day, you were absolutely excited about going on a mission with your two favorite seniors, four hours later, you were missing, and a week later, you were declared as dead. The only proof they really had was a piece of your bloody uniform floating in a river nearby where the mission was supposed to take place. Other than that, there was no trace of anything else regarding you.

Suguru wished they would've at least had something to bury you with. Your casket was empty. And Satoru was ashamed to admit that he dared open the lid in a desperate attempt to see if you were in there after all. Just hiding, waiting to jump out and scare him. But seeing nothing made him break.

Everything got worse when you reappeared as this, however. A vengeful spirit that simply followed the both of them everywhere. You were relentless. And yet, neither of them could ever find a single trace of anger on you. Their guilt was heavy enough to make up for it, though.

It didn't help that Satoru refused to talk about it, even when they knew what they had to do. You only ever appeared around them, and both of them had made the unspoken decision to deal with you themselves. They felt like they had caused your death indirectly. The what if's kept piling up higher and higher until it eventually brought them here.

They thought that they were finally ready to move on, but oh, how wrong they were. It was so hard to see you as a simple spirit to exercise when you still looked like yourself most of the time. It just got bad when you looked dead. They couldn't hide behind their excuses and delusions when you looked like this.

Time ticked on and the silence was deafening again. You leaned in close to Satoru, glossy eyes staring into his side profile. "Stop ignoring me. I know what you're here for." You hummed, face devoid of any emotion. But the constant dripping of the blood that poured out of your nose and lips made Gojo close his eyes for a second longer and gulp down the painful lump in his throat. It was childish, absolutely stupid. But maybe... if he acted like you weren't there like always... then you wouldn't be. You were just a hallucination, surely. Neither of them had slept or eaten properly in months. He just had to pray that you'll go away, finally find the peace you were looking for.

But when he opened his eyes and you were still there, he just bit his lip. He couldn't take any of this anymore.

"Tell them to go away, Suguru. Please." "So you're finally done pretending now?" The blackhaired male asked, glancing back at his friend for the first time in hours. The great Satoru Gojo. The strongest of them all. Now reduced to nothing more than a miserable teen at your death. It would've been funny if he wasn't actually losing it right now.

Suguru shook his head at the lack of response before getting out of his chair and standing over the white-haired sorcerer. "Let's go outside." He said, not waiting for the other to agree before pushing past you. Or rather through you. He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide this really was for him. As expected, however, he heard Satoru's footsteps following behind him with ease. Typical.

The walk was silent and rather aimless. Neither of them knew where they were going. But their subconsciousness seemed to know. Suguru's body felt heavy, like he was dragging and fighting himself with every next step he took. He felt uneven and unbalanced. Like he'll fall over and break apart at any moment, and he doubted Satoru would be able to glue him together with shaky hands and teary eyes.

Geto pulled a hand through his black hair, strands unkempt and messy as they fell down hus shoulders. He caught a glance at his face in a mirror, the dark circles, even darker eyes staring back at him near accusingely. The anger and festering hate hidden under a thick layer of sadness.

"They weren't killed by a sorcerer." He suddenly said when they arrived at the schools courtyard. Satoru glanced at him, frowning a little. "Why does it matter now?" He asked, yet his best friend didn't bother answering. Why should he bother when the white-haired male was unwilling to wake up to reality. Instead, he stared at the Sakura trees filling the area, the ones you loved the most. And as expected, you stood right under them.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, smile so gentle and serene, that it made it look like you were simply waiting on them as always. And in a way, you were indeed doing so. Geto was thankful that your consciousness was strong enough for you to realise what was going to happen next. "Can you do it, Satoru?" He whispered, voice so soft, that it made Gojo actually consider it for a moment. But despite always having prided himself in being the strongest, he just stood still. Suguru couldn't help but smile tiredly at him. Perhaps the other boy would be happy about this if his smile didn't seem so bitter and exhausted. Like it took up all of his energy to force the corner of his lips to go up.

"I think they are the one thing I could never exorcize." "I'm glad you're being honest... I can't do it either." The two boys approached the empty bench next to your form before simply sitting down. There was a large gap between them, one reserved for you.

Your smile stretched wider as you took their silent offer of defeat and took a seat as well.

Gojo tensed when you leaned your head against his shoulder, a familiar melody leaving your lips. Suguru leaned his arms on his knees and listened to you, eyes closing with a tired sigh. Perhaps playing pretend was easier. Perhaps you were never meant to leave them in the first place. Maybe one day someone would free them from you, someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't ever going to be them.

You were back from the dead, and they figured it was better than you having left them for good.

If only they could ignore the mangled state of your body too.

Alright, I'm sorry this took so long! I also don't think it's that good, but I hope you like it anyway, Flower Anon! I've been super busy with work and everything else going on in my life, so I'm glad to post anything at this point. Anyhow, thank you again for this great request!<33

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk geto #jjk suguru #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk gojo #jjk satoru #jjk gojo x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk oneshot

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sugurugetofavoritemonkey · 9 months

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HI THERE IM THE ANON WHO ASKED FOR JEALOUS/PROTECTIVE/POSSESSIVE GETO! I loved your response so much I completely agree with you too on everything! I’m so glad I sent the ask because I love the way you write geto i feel like it’s exactly how I imagine him to be! Dare I be greedy and ask for some angst/comfort hcs for geto on how he’d like to be comforted by his s/o because it’s basically canon that geto has suffered episodes of depression :((

Hi there ! ❤️

I’m so soooo glad to see you back here, and to hear that you loved my reply and agree with me makes me so incredibly happy ! 🫶🏻💗 Thank you so much for liking my writing view on our lovely Suguru, you’ve no idea how much joy this brings me, I love this man so much and to know that people like you appreciate my work about him and how I write him, is the greatest compliment ever so thanks a lot again for telling me this ! 🥰

And of course ! You would never be too greedy by asking me Geto’s things to write, you’re always welcome here 💕🌸 I’m sending you a hug and wishing you a great day/night ☺️

And you’re so sooooo right about this ! Oh my, Suguru suffered from so much trauma in his life, I think that he’s a very sensitive person, and he doesn’t even realize this to be he honest, because of that it’s hard for him to well manage his depression.

That’s why he’s so thankful for your presence in his life.

Because you’re always here to alleviate the pain he sometimes feel inside of him.

Just with simple words or actions of yours, he feels immensely better by your side.

And in top of that, after years of knowing your Suguru very well, you would immediately know when he feels even just a bit down.

Suguru would try to hide it of course, because he would hate to worry you too much, but it won’t work with you.

You would gently take his face in your hands and tell him that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes and that you’re here for him.

After a few seconds, Suguru will let himself relax in your arms, with a few tears cascading on his reddening cheeks, while his strong arms tighten themself around your waist. His head resting on your belly or lap, but most of the time on your chest, your heartbeat easing Suguru into a peaceful state as it helps him remember that you’re with him, that you care for him and love him as much as he loves you.

You’ll have to remind him to stop hiding his emotions from you just for the sake of not worrying you, that his feelings are as important as yours, that he’s as important as you in the relationship.

In a murmur, Suguru would thank you for everything that you do for him, while hugging you close to his body, repeating your name in a soft tone from time to time as it is the only thing that can clear his mind from all his worries.

And the thing that will surely help Suguru fall asleep in your arms is to simply thread your fingers through his dark locks, caressing his hair oh so gently, your nails sliding softly along his head to appease him even more. While whispering with a calm and gentle tone to him that you love him with all your soul and that you will never stop taking care of him, because you’re no different than Suguru, you both are the happiest when the other one feels good as well.

But be prepare, because in moments like these, Suguru is even more clingy than usual, and let me tell you that he already is quite a lot. If you try to break the hug while he sleeps to go eat or drink for example, he’ll wake up right away and looks at you with sleepy eyes and a little pout on his face, silently telling you, « don’t leave, please sweetheart… »

And if you really have to get up, you will have to hold Suguru’s hand along the way. Afterwards, Suguru will put his head on top of your shoulder, close to your face as he hugs you from behind with his arms holding you tight around the waist, almost falling back to sleep on your body while he waits for you to get back to bed, so that you can continue caressing his hair and whispering sweet words to him.

Luckily, that won’t ever bother you because being close to Suguru makes you the luckiest person on earth, and you couldn’t be happier to see that Suguru feels reassured just by your comforting presence.

🤍 Suguru Geto Masterlist 🤍

#geto x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen imagines #answered #suguru geto #suguru geto reader fluff #geto imagine #suguru imagine #geto suguru imagines #geto imagines #suguru imagines #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru x reader #jjk reader #🤍suguru geto🤍#🤍my love🤍

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tenderlygroovystarfish · 2 months

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Parallels are funny

I was never into anime when we were friends. I just wasn't a fan, until recently. I was watching a few different animes based on another friend's recommendations. Jujutsu Kaisen is the one I am referring to as I write this. I never thought about why Satoru Gojo's and Suguru Geto's relationship really affected me until I saw this piece of art.

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto fit us so well.

The love, the intensity, the ending. One who would do anything for the other if they asked. One who kept the other in check while allowing them to feel truly free. One who was shining too bright to notice the darkness consuming the other. The one who had endless possibilities, and the one who wanted the impossible.

From freshman year to the middle of our junior year of college, we were inseparable.

Constant rides and study sessions. Doing homework, and practicing our pass-off music together. Those first few classes in our major were hard, but don't worry, I was there to always lend a hand when you needed it. Classes just kept getting harder. We both started to get busy and overwhelmed. I know you started to feel depressed when I was advancing in classes, and you were struggling with the same ones. I was there to support you as much as I could, but I had to keep going. I just didn't realize that I was leaving you behind. I thought you just needed more time, but you were focused on other things.

We were a duo- connected at the hip. Always together, never too far apart.

The friendship was innocent. Sharing laughs and having late night conversations. Small, drunk kisses that didn't mean anything, right? Cuddling and sharing blankets. Matching outfits and saying I love you. We talked about getting matching tattoos. I swore you were my soulmate. We shared so many late night drives. Remember when we went to the beach at midnight and didn't get back home until 4am? Yeah, I replay the video sometimes just to hear your voice.

Everyone thought we were dating.

That was so funny, right? Of course as best friends we shared locations, had specific nights just for us to get dinner, had sleepovers every weekend, and joked about why we haven't slept together, yet. Of course, as best friends we would push the limits of what other friends do. Of course, I noticed you were struggling, I tried my best to help you. It wasn't always what you needed, but I tried. -Did you notice my struggle? No? That's okay. I hid it pretty well.- Of course, I got upset when you started to use guys to make other guys jealous. I didn't want to see you play with people's emotions like that, but I also didn't know how to stop you. You couldn't see how it affected you. You didn't see the changes it made.

Some words were said- words I wish I could take back, but it's too late for that.

We didn't speak for quite some time after that. I left my final 'I love you' on your doorstep- a scrapbook of us. The times we did speak were brief and out of pure necessity. Until, one day you volunteered a comment on my performance. I was frozen. You didn't need to compliment me- I didn't need it, rather. This was a critique, but you offered me love, instead.

That was your final 'I love you.'

I know that many other people have experienced a friendship like SatoSugu, but I think we truly encapsulated it, unfortunately. From the intense friendship with wild adventures, to blurring the lines between friend and lover, to losing each other, and to, finally, saying our final 'I love yous' to each other in our own ways.

Just like Satoru Gojo's happiness around Suguru Geto, my happiness was so loud when I was with you that I could not hear your silence. I’m sorry Satoru- Suguru didn’t stay in this universe either. Maybe the next one. In this universe, I spent 3 years loving you, and, now, I will spend the rest of forever missing you. There is no curse more twisted than love.

You're not dead, but I will never see you again. Even if I did, you wouldn’t be the same. You are my best friend, and I was yours.

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noroi1000 · 5 months

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Mine Forever

Summary: You always wanted to be their girlfriend. The older you were, the less chance you had. There was something wrong with you from the beginning. And you wanted them to notice you. May there be no obstacles between you.

Paring: Yandere reader x Gojo & Geto

Warnings: Death, murder, blood, violence, kidnapping, brainwashing, Possible mistakes Words: 4.1k

From the moment you heard it you knew they were joking. They were just joking about you being weak. These were jokes for you to laugh at. But also to show you that you can't do something. You were weaker than them, and that's why they told you so. To show you that you can't fight something. They also did it to protect you.

You didn't have any cursed technique. You could only rely on your energy to support your physical strength. You weren't that powerful.

You kept losing to them. That's why they laughed a little, because you were weak. But internally, they were saying it to protect you. You will go on less dangerous missions, and they will be confident that you will be able to overcome it. You will return safely.

While they laughed at others for being weak, they did it to defend you. You can leave the most difficult and dangerous missions to them. They will take care of it. After all, you are friends.

You've had a crush on them for as long as you can remember. Because they were so different from the boys who had been in your life since you were born. They were special.

Even after the tragic end of their mission with the Star Plasma Vassel, they tried to smile. Because they saw that their dear friend also stopped smiling with them. The sadness that Riko had died had to pass. In your world, people die all the time. You had to go back to everyday life. To normal life.

Therefore, they rejected the bad emotions that resided within them. They went back to their old, old selves. They smiled and had fun. They turned gray days into blue ones.

You couldn't throw away these bad emotions so easily. You were devastated by guilt. The feeling that someone died because of you. You weren't strong enough.

They were joking again. They joked that you were weak. It wasn't meant to offend you or make you feel bad.

However, this pushed you into depression-like states. With each passing day, you were becoming more and more distant. You didn't feel like their friend anymore. You rejected the fact that you had a crush on them. After all, you are too weak for them to accept you... And you are the one to blame for the failure of the mission.

You did everything to become stronger. So that they will notice you and forgive you for being too weak before.

Most of the bones in your body were broken. Bruises everywhere. You even spat blood. Only to look at your body after a while and ask yourself, is this what they would want? You're not a model. You are a sorcerer. And as long as you don't have something that disfigures you 100%, maybe they will fall in love with you?

You didn't have your skin peeled off. You had no injuries because you managed to avoid everything. You did all this to maintain the "cute" look that they liked.

After all, you were "weak" and "cute" to them.

You don't want to be like that. You want to be strong. You want them not to bully you because you can't stand on the same level as them. You did everything to get a promotion at all costs. You were stronger. But they were still higher. Because they had Jujutsu techniques. And you couldn't boast about it.

But there was something that allowed you to outdo everyone around them.

You knew them as well as they knew each other. You knew their weaknesses and strengths. All of this could make you feel close to them again, even after you moved away from being their friend.

Nobody saw you suffering.

More and more missions, no acceptance.

Shoko was very busy healing people. And Satoru, Suguru, and you went on missions. It hurt you that you were getting further and further away, even if you wanted to get closer to them again.

You couldn't go back to your old way of functioning after that. You didn't have any friends to hang out with. You were rejected by everyone.

Your routine was to attend classes if you had to, go on missions, and return to your dorm room. This was your cruel routine. Also looking out the window to see someone you should be with and smiling as you walk through the trees.

They will never love you. You don't even have to try. You only think about doing your thing and staying in your routine.

You wanted to at least rebuild your relationship a bit. But every time you looked for them at school, they were out in the field on missions.

And when you texted them, nothing changed.

You: "Hey, Satoru" "I thought maybe... But maybe you'd like to go out with me in your free time?" "Only if you want"

You sat on the phone for several minutes, nervously playing with your nails, looking at the messages that you had been regretting sending for some time..

You swallowed, and your heart sped up as he answered you.

Satoru: "Hey" "Sorry" "I don't have time for next week" "I keep getting new missions" "We cannot meet"

It was like someone poured a bucket of ice water over you. Tears were welling up in your eyes. He won't meet with you.

You checked the messages you sent to Suguru and wished you could delete them.

You: "Would you like to meet?" "Go somewhere in the city"

Suguru" "Sorry, (y/n)" "I'm busy with new missions"

Whenever you heard about the fact that more and more people were suffering from depression, you told yourself that it wasn't a threat to you. After all, you had great friends that you loved.

Now you just wanted to disappear.

You were exposed...

After a month of waiting, they arranged to meet you at your favorite Ramen shop. You were there first and you knew they might be late. After all, Satoru doesn't always care if he gets there on time.

You waited there for an hour. To find out that they won't appear again...

Like an idiot, you sat at the table for an hour, constantly refusing to let the waiter take your order because you were "waiting for someone." Yes, you were waiting. Too long...

You sat there only to get a message from Suguru when you left that they couldn't show up. They had a sudden, important mission that they couldn't postpone.

And again... The mission was more important to them than meeting their old friend.

Your friendship cannot be repaired...

It's too late for that.

You just had to accept that you had lost it. You've lost them forever. You won't be able to get them back. You won't have them near you anymore.

And it was all your fault. You hated yourself. You wanted to disappear even more. You wanted the curse to kill you for some time. May your eyes close during the mission.

After all, no one will cry for you anyway. You're just an ordinary sorcerer, even without friends.

Without anyone to cry for you.

You were sure it was true after what you saw...

You accepted that they couldn't meet you because of the mission.

So why were they sitting carelessly together in a cafe, eating something, and drinking warm drinks? They didn't look like they were in a hurry.

Your body wanted to go to them. But you froze, standing at the entrance, when on one side of their table sat a girl you had never seen before.

And their smiles... It was something you missed... You saw their smiles as they talked and joked.

However, instead of you, someone else is with them.

Someone who replaced you too easily.

You turned around and left, feeling nothing anymore. Your heart has died. It's so empty inside you...

Your little spark in your heart, which was still smoldering and wanting to become a flame, has just been doused with water. No possibility of re-ignition.

Nothing makes sense now.

Your existence is now equivalent to that of a corpse.

The corpse exists, but it is no longer alive. He cannot interfere with life.

To reject you so many times to play with someone else... That's exactly what they wanted.

You felt so useless.

Useless as a sorcerer and as a person.

You couldn't even have friends.

You couldn't fall in love with someone.

You will be lonely for the rest of your life. Because someone you want closer to you doesn't even want you around.

You regret sending them all those messages.

You just wanted to lie down and protect yourself from the outside world. You just want to disappear. You want everything bad that happened to you because of them to flow out with your tears!

You understood one of the most important thing. Something you wish you had understood sooner...

It's all a lie; they don't want to date you, so they lie about how busy they are. They did everything to make you look stupid and naive, and then they had the nerve to date some worthless girl who didn't deserve any of their attention.

You hate them!

But what can you do? You're just a weak, worthless person who doesn't even deserve the title of sorcerer...

You wanted to sleep, but even your dreams didn't give you what you wanted to see in life...

Have you seen this Bitch....

She stood there, smiling at you.

Like she was literally laughing at you. Because you're so stupid and worthless.

You can't even have them as friends.

"Kill her," the voice said.

You looked around in the darkness.

Behind you was a hand that pointed to a smiling girl.

"Kill her"

"Just kill her"

The hand pointed to your hands, and a knife appeared there. And then the finger was pointed at her again.

"You can kill her. She's just a worthless sorceress who doesn't deserve Gojo and Geto."

"She will use them for their money. He will use them. If you don't do something now, it will already be too late."

It's just a dream, right?

The dream will not affect what will happen in real life.

You can take it out on her a little here... No one will know.

Approaching the motionless man, you took a swing, driving the knife into her ribs.

With blood dripping down it, you felt satisfied.

With each subsequent knife blow, you felt no hesitation. You felt freedom. You can do whatever you want with it. You can watch every vein and artery in her body release blood. For punishment. For taking them away from you.

She just takes them away from you!

She will make them get hurt!

You scolded her body even as it lay on the black floor, long dead.

Her chest was so torn up that you were sure there was zero tension in her skin.

"I will teach you how to become stronger like the man who almost killed your future lovers, and then you can do whatever you want."

You didn't know the exact meaning of these words. After all, it was just a dream...

True?

Was it just an ordinary dream?

The ringing of the phone woke you up from this cruel dream.

You looked there reluctantly.

Satoru called?

Your body acted faster than the rest, and you answered.

“Hey, (y/n)!” The melodious voice immediately said.

"What's up, Gojo?" you asked.

Well, you no longer have the privilege to call him 'Satoru'. You lost that privilege when you lost them as friends.

"Me and Suguru were wondering if you wanted to meet up with us. We are both free today, and we feel bad that we couldn't meet you then... So do you want to come?" he said it clearly..

As your mouth opened to agree, you suddenly remembered that they were just as sincere as they were the last time they stood you up.

They had more fun without you. They even found someone else.... Even though he sounded sincere, was it real?

You don't want to make that mistake again...

"(y/n)?"

"... Do you think I'll fall for it again?" you asked coldly.

"huh?"

"These tricks won't work on me anymore... Do you think you can fool me again after everything that happened? And then you have the nerve to call me... you have no shame... Please leave me alone...!"

You don't know why, but they were more likely to be in Jujutsu High now.

And they practically got scared when they saw your state when you entered the classroom.

Dark circles under the eyes, quiet behavior.

You didn't even look at them. You just sat down in your seat so that later when it was over, you could leave and go directly to your room.

What happened? They do not know.

On your 18th birthday, you had plans. Once upon a time, these plans were related to them. Now your plans were to escape from them.

They were waiting for you to leave the room. They were waiting with a surprise for you. After all, it was your birthday.

You didn't leave your room from morning until evening. While they were disappointed by this, you thought that your recurring dream was prophetic...

In the evening, they entered your room only to see it empty.

Neither you nor your things were there.

And you just let yourself live somewhere else. You still go to school. But you went to a room on the top floor in the other building. Where they don't know where you'll be.

You allowed yourself to go completely mad there....

"Satoru and Suguru mentioned you. But I didn't think you'd look scary..."

All you could think about was that you wanted her to shut up.

You erased everything she said. You only heard all the words as she said their names.

How dare she say their names just like that? She's nothing compared to you... She shouldn't have the right to talk about them like that...!

As the night sky appeared above the clouds, you realized that maybe your dreams were right...

Maybe it's best to kill her...

You were on a night mission with her.

And she was so annoying. You can't stand the way she talks. But you were surprised that she was a sorcerer.

Well... Sorcerers die on missions...

So...

Nothing will happen. To you. Nothing will happen to you.

Often, sorcerers come soaked in blood. And you were cleaning up the remains of dead people who were murdered here. The blood of curses disappears. Human remains remain.

Maybe you can add another corpse?

Change into clean clothes and go home. It was the best plan.

Two people got out of the car and now one person is coming back.

This one lies faceless, dismembered in a bag. As soon as she reaches Jujutsu high again, she will be disposed of along with the other rotting corpses.

Mouth covered, knife stuck in the back. No one could help her.

The blade stuck in the neck, piercing the throat.

And then cutting off the face and other body parts.

The last words the girl heard were something she had never heard before.

"You can't have them. They belong to me."

Killing was like refreshing your mind.

The negative thoughts you had about this person suddenly disappeared along with your heartbeat.

People still die from curse attacks. So hiding it was the easiest thing of all.

It was so refreshing. Like a new life.

Even though you danced in the bloody rain. The blood of all the women who got too close to Satoru and Suguru. Death was more painful for those who fell in love with them.

You were getting closer to them.

You had confidence that you could get closer to them now.

You comforted them. You said that all these girls were dying because they weren't sorcerers.

"Curses can attack anyone, at any time." You said once, pulling their heads to lie on your shoulders.

"I'm sorry we made you feel bad."

You got what you wanted.

You have your friends closer now.

Your Satoru and Suguru.

And they can only be yours.

The person in your dream was right...

You can become a murderer, and you can do whatever you want.

There were only a few complications.

But sorcerers don't kill people. They couldn't prove you guilty.

All this time, you've become like a curse. Someone who kills anyone who gets too close to your loved ones. And it was so easy...

You were terrifying to everyone. One person committed suicide because of you. In front of Gojo and Geto. Because she couldn't handle the pressure you put on her.

You were more like Zenin Toji... Your damned energy had disappeared... Or rather, it hid completely. They cannot feel your presence.

You could be anywhere without them even knowing.

That's why it was easy to kill them and then comfort them after another death.

'Maybe curses kill them all because they are smart? Maybe it's because you are a special grade and they want to get rid of you? So that your psyche is exhausted?'

They believed you.

Because they have a lot of enemies.

"This is what you get for trying to steal Satoru and Suguru from me. You worthless bitch!"

The brunette watched with wide eyes as your hand with the knife fell several times on the probably already dead girl. Half of the throat severed. Wounds simulating bites.

After all, curses eat human bodies.

"Nee...Shoko...I know you're there..."

Before she could escape, a hand with a handkerchief covered in chloroform appeared over her mouth.

You won't do anything to her....

You just want to make sure she doesn't reveal your little secret...

That's why you have a basement...

That's why you came up with all this. To one day be prepared for anything that may happen.

Even to break your heart again.

"...You know... We have known each other for a very long time... But... I could never tell you something..." you played with your fingers, feeling so small and powerless in front of them. "Maybe we can go on a date...? Because I lo-."

"(y/n), please don't..." Suguru muttered sadly, suddenly hugging you. "If you stay close to us, something will happen to you too..."

"...We don't want you to be murdered..." Satoru added.

They wanted to agree.

After all, you are always with them. You are so lovely and perfect. You are wonderful.

But they couldn't forgive themselves if you died too...

You pushed yourself away from his chest, carefully watching their brows furrow in sadness.

If someone really wants to kill all their loved ones, they can't expose you.

"What have I done wrong? Why?" Tears immediately fell from your eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong... It's just... If you stay with us, we're afraid the same thing will happen to you as everyone else..."

You didn't want to hear the next word...

"Sorry..."

But isn't that what you fought for?

For them to be honest with you?

"...Let's talk in silence, okay?" you hummed softly with a small smile before going to your cupboard and preparing drinks for them in your new home, pouring some anesthetic into their tea.

"I just can't have them, so no one can. This isn't over yet..."

However, you are still left with your last option.

Just one more possibility.

Last resort.

You sat on the cold concrete, watching your boys sleep peacefully. Their heads tilted forward as they slowly woke up.

You tried not to tie the ropes around their bodies too tightly. It will hurt them in the end.

The cursed ropes you made especially for this situation.

Shoko was in the same place earlier. You didn't do anything wrong to her. You just let her know that she shouldn't even try to do anything.

"Toru~ Sugu~" you sang with the hope that they would open their eyes. And luckily, they were strong enough to look at you with confused eyes.

They were tied to chairs and kept in a dark room. You sat in front of them with a grim smile.

"Oh~. You finally woke up! I'm so happy!" you said, your smile now sincere and charming.

"...(y/n)... What's going on...?" Suguru whispered.

You sat down on the wooden stool closer to them.

"Watching you sleep is nice. You are so calm and I want to kiss and hug you. But it becomes boring and monotonous after 6 hours..."

"What's going on?" Satoru muttered, fighting against slight dizziness. "Where are we?!"

"...Don't be so aggressive..." you made a sad puppy face when you heard him scream. "This is my basement. Guys, with the money I earned as a sorcerer, I could have made this. I built a house and it took a lot of effort to also have a large basement. But now it's worth it! You were nice and came to my place for tea, don't you remember?"

"What does it mean? Let us out now! (y/n)!" Suguru shouted.

"You will shout at me too...? Suguru... I didn't do anything bad to you... I'm sorry, darling, but I can't let you go. You are not allowed to leave this place until I am 100% sure that you will never want to leave me. We will be together forever!"

"F-Forever?!" They both said with surprise.

You stood up and touched their cheeks.

"Do not worry. You won't be in the basement all the time. After all, this house is for us. I tried to make everything perfect there."

They looked at your emotionless eyes and such a crazy smile.

You're not the same person they fell in love with...

"I finally have you all to myself, it's unfortunate that things turned out this way... but I had no other choice, I was devastated that you both rejected me... So I had to use this option. Our relationship may be awkward at first, but I know we'll get through it because we love each other despite everything. Right?" You giggled. "I'm sure you'll warm up to me soon because I know all your likes and dislikes."

You pulled away from them for a moment and your smile disappeared.

You sighed.

"Part of me is stuck with this question... 'What was the point of doing all this work of killing, manipulating and brainwashing people if at the end I was just going to kidnap you both?' I guess we'll never know. But despite everything, I don't think that all this time was a waste at all, I learned a lot of things and gained new skills I'm sure that I will be able to put to good use what I have learned, my knowledge and talents, I can become like Toji, who was an assassin, and earn money."

A smile appeared on your lips again, but it was much softer.

"And when we get married and have children, I will be able to pass this knowledge on to them!"

You placed your hands on your stomach with a small blush.

"I want to have your children~ As many as we want~" rubbing your lower belly, you smiled more wildly. "You put as many children in me as we want, right?"

You sat on Suguru's lap, cutting the ropes holding his right arm. You did the same to the ropes holding Satoru's left arm.

You took their hands and he placed them on your chest with a loving but also crazy smile.

"You can do whatever you want with me. I'm all for you. Everything that's mine is yours. Touch me wherever you want, do everything. I love you both! We will be together forever!"

Greeting your husbands when they come home. Later dinner. Spending time together. Dinner. Shared bath. And finally, sleep.

“But they must love you. It's their fault you became like this."

„They must love you. After all, they are the ones to blame for all this. They were the ones who kept hurting you and rejecting you.”

„They must love you. After all, they do whatever they want with your body. And you let them to do it.”

„They must love you. You do everything for them. You fulfill every whim and fantasy.”

„They must love you. After all, it is their children you carry in your belly.”

“After all, you bear their names. You are their wife. Such a perfect wife.”

Their sweet, innocent and charming housewife who does everything for them.

They love you so much.

The only person who doesn't see your relationship as sweet and perfect is the person who knows what you've done all these years to have them for you. But out of fear for her life, Shoko won't say anything.

Now they will be yours forever.