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duck-in-a-spaceship · 5 months

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Happy New Years!! Hope everyone had a fun time with the countdowns and whatnot, have some more Dead Poets fic

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Chapter 2: When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer

Todd ran his thumb over the corner of the page in his hands, trying to smooth out the dog-ear someone else had tattooed onto it. It was a pointless endeavor, the scar ran too deep, something about the book had been irreversibly changed. He swallowed thickly, and turned the page over on the crease, closing the book over the mark.

It happened to be where he needed it anyway.

“Are you ready?” Neil held his own book in his hands, the one he brought to every meeting of the Dead Poets Society, that held the opening ceremonies he so dutifully read. It was a book filled with scars, with dog-ears and ripped out pages and annotations and underlines and words scribbled out to create entirely new works.

One time, Neil had returned to their room with a graded assignment from Keating, one with plenty of critiques and compliments scribbled on it, and they compared the handwriting with the writing in the book, trying to figure out which notes their teacher had added to Dead Poets history. Todd was pretty sure they got half of it wrong, but it was fun to imagine Keating adding the dick jokes they found in the corners of pages, or writing little stars around random words. (Todd liked to think he did the blackout poetry they found too, scratched out the old to create something new. It seemed fitting.)

“I guess,” Todd finally responded.

Neil shifted from where he was sitting on his bed. It was too dark to see what he was doing, but Todd tried anyway, watching how his silhouette twisted in the dark. Neil stepped forwards, and the moonlight from the window draped itself over his shoulders. It kissed his skin with a feathery touch, staining him silver. When Neil smiled, the moonlight seemed to spill out of his mouth and onto Todd, and he wanted to take it from him, somehow.

“Carpe diem, right?” Neil said.

Todd managed to echo some of that smile, shaky and hesitant with no moonlight shining from his teeth. “Yeah, carpe diem.”

“Come on then.”

Neil led the way, pushing their door open to a cautionary crack and peering out before slipping into the hall. He grabbed Todd’s hand as he went, effortlessly pulling him out into the hallway. Todd’s heart thumped in his chest as it always did, thrilled at the idea of being caught.

The night was quiet.

Todd had gotten almost concerningly good at sneaking out of school. It was a well-practiced skill, and although at first he made it by with shaky steps, strictly following the others' lead, he soon slipped into the routine of it all. The halls of Welton were quiet, dark, undisturbed, and they slipped through them in much the same way.

The chilled air on his face felt like a rush of freedom. It shoved open the door, nearly pulling the handle out of Todd’s hand, and he had to wrestle it shut, had to fight to seal that barrier. Neil half turned back to him, smiling softly, and Todd became aware of the fact that this was the moment they were supposed to stop holding hands. They had navigated the maze, the danger was gone, the need to stay linked was crushed under the simple emptiness that stretched out before them.

Neil squeezed his hand, and led him through the field blanketed in snow. It crunched under their feet, marked their path through the night. It was a strange reminder that Todd existed, that the two of them were not just ghosts wandering through the night. Todd squeezed back, and followed.

They clambered through the undergrowth of the forest together, hands still gently clasped. The trees towered over them, stretching out branches that acted like walls, sheltering them from the outside world. Todd and Neil slipped into the cave, and settled into the cold, dark space, only illuminated by the shaky glow of their flashlights. Neil’s hand slipped away from Todd’s, and he stuffed it in his pocket to make up for the sudden lack of warmth.

It was quieter than usual in the cave, without the usual clamor of all the poets to fill the space. There was just the muted shuffling of Neil and Todd getting settled, finding rocks to perch on around the opening in the center. No fire lit their way, but they huddled around the spot regardless, like moths perched on a burnt out lamp. Neil cleared his throat extra loud in the silence, flipping through the pages of his book more dramatically than he really needed to. Todd couldn’t help but smile at his theatrics.

“I call this extraordinarily special-” He paused just to smile at Todd. “-meeting of the Dead Poets Society to order by reading, as is customary, our opening words.” Neil cleared his throat to begin (once again over the top, once again theatrical) “I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately-”

The words were familiar enough to Todd that he found himself mouthing along, as if that was what he needed, as if letting his tongue follow the shapes of the words would be enough to dig them into his brain. To give him the ability to suck the marrow out of life

Todd kind of doubted it; he looked down at the ground while Neil spoke so he wouldn’t have to see his lips move.

“-discover that I had not lived.” Neil finished the passage with a sort of quiet, solemn air. It was rare he read the whole thing at Dead Poets Society meetings; usually he was content with the first line, if he brought out Thoreau at all. But whenever he did finish it, they always let the silence hang in the air, paying special attention to how Neil’s shoulders sagged or his voice quieted or the light flickered unsteadily in his eyes, just for a moment. He cleared his throat.

“Alright, your turn.”

Todd looked up at him, blinked in surprise. His hands were gripping the rocks on either side of him in tight claws, the moist coolness dripping up his nerves. “Right now? Just like that?” he asked warily, and the moment the words left his mouth he was aware he’d asked a stupid question. Then again, if it let him stall, Todd would take whatever mild embarrassment he wanted to hand himself.

“Are you waiting for something?” Neil pressed. “Come on, Toddy, just go for it!”

Todd swallowed thickly, gently prying his hands from the rocks beside him. They tingled with the return of blood flow, movement traveling back to stiff fingers. He grabbed his book from beside him, finding the dent of the dog-eared page and flipping it open. The poem he’d chosen was short, just a couple lines scattered on the page, but they seemed to dance in front of him the longer he stared, like meteors twirling through the sky. He smoothed out the page with a firm hand, as if that could tether the ink to the paper.

“Do you want me to look away?”

The question pulled Todd out of his anxious reverie, and he looked up at Neil, who was staring at him with a mix of curiosity and concern. Mouth suddenly dry, Todd nodded ever so slightly. “Uh, yeah. I mean.. sure.”

But Neil didn’t look away, not quite. Instead he just closed his eyes, lashes falling over his pupils like falling snow. He titled his head to one side, listening attentively. Dramatics, Todd thought affectionately. “Alright,” Neil said. “I’m ready.”

The book was heavy in Todd’s hands, but he bore its weight anyway, smoothed out the pages and ignored the writing scribbled in the margins. Then he began to read:

“When I heard the learn’d astronomer

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,

When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,

When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture room,

How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,

Till rising and gliding I wander’d off by myself

In the mystical, moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.”

It was quiet, for a couple moments after Todd finished the poem. Paranoia struck into his heart in an instant, the sudden thought that Neil was bored of him, that he hadn’t been listening at all, that he was taking a couple moments to even realize Todd was done.

“Can I look?”

Todd looked up, and realized that Neil was still sat across from him, eyes pressed tightly shut but barely visible through the hand clasped over them. He chanced a peak through the slots between his fingers, and it was enough for Todd to see the gentle curve of his smile as well. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, of course. That was… that was it.” That was it. God, what was he thinking, picking something like that? Just a stupid Walt Whitman poem about lecture halls that didn’t even last a full minute to read out loud. Of course Neil had stopped paying attention, Todd probably would have too if-

“I loved it.”

Todd blinked his eyes a couple times, reintroducing himself to reality with short, fluttering handshakes. “Hm?” he asked, eloquently. Neil was smiling widely, eyes open to meet Todd’s.

“The poem, I loved it, that was great!” He stood up, slightly hunched under the roof of the cave, and went to sit next to Todd. “Was that our friend Uncle Walt? Where’d you get the book?” he asked, craning his neck slightly to look over Todd’s shoulder. Neil reached over to put his hand on the edge of the paper, smoothing out the page, and his fingers brushed against Todd’s.

“Uh, yeah, it’s him. I just got it from the library, it’s in Leaves of Grass.” He’d picked it up on a whim, after trying and failing to muster up the courage needed to approach Keating to ask for poetry. It felt like something he might recommend anyway.

Neil leaned closer, pressed his shoulder against Todd’s so he could look at the poem. He mouthed the words to himself as he read, before pausing a couple lines in. ‘How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,’ he spoke silently. “You know what this reminds me of?”

Their shoulders were still pushed together; they were so close he could feel Neil’s body heat through his layers of jackets. “Hm?” he prompted softly.

“Fucking trig.”

“... what?”

Neil leaned away from Todd so he could face him. “C’mon, doesn’t it? You have Mr. Raulken up there yammering on about sine and cosine and functions and pi and all those graphs we have to draw. It’s torture.”

Todd smiled. “It made me think of Nolan.”

“God yes!” Neil gestured excitedly with his arms, spurring Todd onwards.

“When we have to sit through those- those stupid school assemblies. Especially that one at the beginning of the year, I wanted to- to disappear.”

Neil groaned. “Ugh, that one’s always the worst. And you’ve only had to sit through it once- let me tell you it’s the same annoying bullshit every year.” He rose to his feet, turning to face Todd with such a sudden solemn air that he couldn’t help but giggle. “Oh no! There will be none of that Mr. Anderson, no joy around here.”

Todd smiled, but quieted accordingly.

“Thank you, thank you. Now, welcome to Nolan- I mean Welton Academy. I’m just standing up here to brag about how excellent of a hell hole this is. I’m looking forward to getting to despise each and every one of you, because as much as I like to pretend I’m running a school here, if you flip open your brochures you’ll actually find this is a cleverly disguised prison. Blah, blah, I have great expectations for you, etc. etc., and scene.”

Todd burst into applause as Neil finished with a bow, returning to sit next to him. “What’d you think? Can you feel the end-of-summer dread starting to kick in?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Todd agreed, nodding. “You’re a good actor.”

Neil smiled softly, turned his eyes away from Todd and towards the black circle left by one of their fires. Todd watched, unsure of whether to avert his eyes, and Neil bit down on his lip, looking at the charred rock like it had anything to offer. Todd was just about to speak, when Neil pushed himself to his feet. “Come on.”

Todd looked up. “What?”

Neil smiled, offered out an extended hand that Todd took almost on instinct, not really thinking as he grabbed on and let Neil pull him to his feet. “Come on, real quick.” He didn’t let go of Todd’s hand after he was upright, just held on to pull him along. They ducked out of the cave, and into the forest.

“But- where?” Todd managed to insist, through his preoccupation with not tripping over any gnarled roots or planted rocks.

“You’ll see!”

“Neil, come on,” Todd protested weakly, through half-restrained laughter. “I’d like to know where I’m being dragged to.”

“Just somewhere we can- oo, okay. Here.” Neil had brought them to a small gap between the trees, not even a proper clearing, just somewhere they could see the sky poking through the branches. He pointed up at it, drawing Todd’s attention to the inky blackness of the night, dotted with stars.

He couldn’t really make out any of the constellations, just pinpricks of light separated from any sort of meaning. The moon must have been up there somewhere, half-full, but their tiny window into the stars didn’t offer them a view.

Todd looked over at Neil, and realized he was being watched expectantly. He cleared his throat. “It- it’s pretty.”

“Yeah,” Neil agreed, somewhat wistfully.

Their hands were still linked together; Neil had never let go and Todd wasn’t sure he knew how to. He should have felt the urge, the distant fear for what their linked hands meant, but it was nowhere to be found. Everything else felt so distant, seemed to fall away. When he looked up at the stars, and listened to what they had to say.

#dead poets society #anderperry #neil perry #todd anderson #writing #fanfiction #welcome to my true agenda for this fic #which is shoving poems i like into people's faces #i mean really it's just this chapter #the rest are pretty standard choices #i think this one fits the themes of the movie rlly well tho #and also i just like it a lot

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vamprisms · 2 months

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i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

#like majority of the time kids are not just 'being naughty'. they have big feelings inside little bodies it's a lot #also like.#it should be illegal to dye your hair fun colours if you aren't prepared for kids in public to ask if youre related to a my little pony #EDIT: the notes on this post are an absolute cesspool. i don't care about your reasons for hating kids you sound like a disney villain

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butchfalin · 7 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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noelledeltarune · 8 months

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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

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adriles · 3 months

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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

#book 24 #the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this #greatest hits #all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way #and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs #a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls #not exactly war crimes but Ok #sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys #can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head #please be normal #will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny

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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month

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FNAF Monty and TADC Gummigoo are so alike!

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indigo6f00ff · 9 months

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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shadowtraveled · 3 months

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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inkskinned · 11 months

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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

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fairydriver · 4 months

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if you post an image in discord itll round the corners, but once you hit a certain smallness it rounds into a circle. so basically if you make an image that is 32x32 and you post it in discord itll go from this

to this.

so you basically can just draw a little face in mspaint or something and paste it into discord and itll look like a little emoji. you can potentially mess around with this a lot, its proportional to your image going smaller and it doesnt have to be a square either.

#I THINK THIS HAS A LOT OF FUN POTENTIAL #discord #i am reblog locking this bc i lack the ability to properly issue corrections (see replies)#and also because getting notes like this causes me some distress #please feel free to issue a version of this post that is more accurate yourself (any reader)#but i will refrain #i still think its fun tho i initially noticed this at the 16 scale where it works regardless #just have fun and express yourself in a carefree manner

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herd-reject-arts · 11 months

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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

#not vc sorry #bird #birds #aves #raptor #hawk #red shouldered hawk #i think. might be wrong on that id #accipitriformes #birds of prey #honestly a really cool guy so close up #I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big.#talons on this bird were huge. big scary.#I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives #it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down.#I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still.#it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird #if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know

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pickled-flowers · 5 months

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Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

#sex positivity is also respecting sex lives that dont look like yours #or lack thereof #and insulting people by saying they dont fuck make you sound stupid <3 #im sorry i just cant take people who use their sex lives as a flex seriously its just not my thing!#like yea having lots of kinky sex is cool but not having sex and not being interested by sex is also cool #one is not better than the other the human experience is just very varied and diverse #its normal you wont understand everyone your brain isnt even made to comprehend how many human there are in the world #but we should all have spaces to navigate our sex lives as we wish even if that means interacting with sex as a subject as little as possibl

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clown-owo · 1 year

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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot #i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself #just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal #my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos #but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time #portal #chell #GlaDOS #GlaD0S #my art #og post #1k #5k #10k #20k #edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place #and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing #i didn't think it would gain much attention #i was Wrong #anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline #EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you

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starry-bi-sky · 21 days

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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA #anyways— add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with #which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc #dp x dc #dpxdc crossover #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #dc x dp #dpxdc prompts #i took a ‘which batfam member are you (except its personal)’ quiz a few days ago #and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like #him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back #anyways lots of ‘danny rejecting bruce as a parent’ aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt #dcxdp #this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet #eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding #danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you #cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when #the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to #blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon #wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.

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ikiprian · 2 months

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Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

#ecto has a weird effect on them actually. a lot like how danielle drinks ecto to keep her stable #ecto has positive health benefits for gothamites! it boosts their immune system gives them a little more energy makes them less irritable #silly hc but i think its fun #also danny just. thought it was a normal ass interview. the person who hired him was heavily hinting at the criminal element of his job the #whole time. danny just kept thinking man i cant believe all interviews are like this in gotham. every one of the #m asks if im okay lying to cops. i am but its weird i never got asked this in amity #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dead on main #ghost kitchen au #danny fenton #jason todd #kipwrite

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