#and also are quick to say ''HEY the way I'm being treated SUCKS and I've HAD IT!!!!''
Note
sorry if this is random but i was just curious about your thoughts on sai? i know you have a lot of thoughts on yamato fhdjdlfn and his and yamato’s relationship always seemed so interesting and really underdeveloped :[ theyre both really similar but yamato was able to get out of ROOT before sai was, and i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on that/him to share. sorry if this is weird or out of the blue djshfkfj love your art!!
that's not weird at all!!! actually the day u sent this question in i had finalized the thumbnails (and started on the pencils!) for a comic wherein Yamato comments on how Sai is handling his transition out of ROOT differently than Yamato himself did! I don't want to lay all my thoughts on that out here, because I think i'm much more clumsy with textposts than with comics, but I appreciate the question and I will share some thoughts!
under a readmore tho bc. this got Long...comics force me to be concise but w/ a keyboard under my hands i just chatter
here's something I've been thinking abt! I think they had fundamentally different experiences in ROOT, and this is reflected in their attitudes towards Danzō, as well as the way they interact with the people outside of ROOT.
Sai seems to have no real loyalty to Danzō. He does what Danzō says because Danzō gives him his orders, when he practices his fake smile in front of Danzō, Danzō immediately tells him to cut that shit out. I don't think there's a lot of love lost there—when team Kakashi catches up to him in orochimaru's hideout, and they kind of confront him, and. also kind of. "give him the option" of abandoning his mission (and ROOT along with it) or. you know. facing shinobi consequences. he doesn't really seem to think much of it?
honestly. i imagine he was probably a little more relieved than anything else. Add to that him remembering how he wanted to finish the drawing of his brother—
actually wait hang on thats another point I want to talk about. Sai was pitted against the person he was closest to in order to traumatize him into numbness! wack! I think that's kind of at the root (help.) of why I see him as a fundamentally angrier character than I see Yamato—and why I interpret some of his behavior not just as Not Knowing How People Work (although he does have trouble with this! it's a very different vibe. like. him trying to comfort Naruto and Naruto thinking Sai was coming onto him was an entirely different kind of situation) but as like. intentionally inflammatory sometimes...like. he's insulted the bodies of most of the people around him in one way or another, he knows it pisses them off, he does keep doing it.
I think him Causing Problems On Purpose is sometimes just a way for him to try and experience catharsis for a fury he doesn't really know he's repressing.
Like. idk. it's one thing to be forced to hurt yourself, that's deeply upsetting, disembodying, traumatizing, but it's another to be forced into a situation where you're to hurt somebody you love
(regardless of the outcome) like. idk. its a kind of powerlessness that hits different at least ime, and frustration and resentment are extremely normal reactions to a situation like that.
i think. a number of things could be appealing to him abt trying to get others to get angry at him—whether it's Him being the one to Cause another persons anger (which could confer a kind of. feeling of control) or him seeing himself reflected in their anger (like a "boy howdy i recognize this emotion. it's very clear. very understandable") or even seeing how they handle the anger.
kishimoto definitely doesn't care nearly as much about Sai's anger. but i found the implication of it compelling as a kid, and I find it more compelling as an adult! anger can be an incredibly healing and protective force sometimes when dealing w/ trauma...and I wish kishimoto knew what he was writing about or that we got to see it explored more!!! ack!
yamato (as kinoe) had a wildly different experience when he was in ROOT.
we know he knew how to fight against sharingan, which. I think implies he was training in combat with Danzō, or that he worked closely with Danzō, or at the very least that Danzō used his sharingan on him. We also saw that (unlike Sai, who was rebuked for even fake-smiling) that Kinoe (at first) was not told to feel nothing, but instead instructed on how to feel by Danzō specifically.
Like, mostly telling him to Feel Grateful etc, but I think him being told to experience specific feelings according to what Danzō thought was appropriate would lead to a different relationship with his emotions than Sai, who was told explicitly to repress them all at all times, and to not even attempt to preform them.
He also like. Thought. Highly. of Danzō, not just as a leader but as a person...it's kind of undeniable that Kinoe saw him as right, was willing to brand his own feelings and intuition wrong if it crossed Danzō's, openly sought Danzō's approval, when he fails his mission to secure Kakashi's eye, his reaction is. essentially immediately to return himself to Danzō to face whatever new dehumanization Danzō's got for him—
even when Kakashi and Hiruzen drag him out of there he thanks Danzō for everything, and he seems genuine about it, despite. everything. He's more expressive than Sai for sure, He had like. a moment of anger, when he said that he wanted to be Tenzō, and Danzō denied him that basic self identification...but it's quickly squashed. Messy. Messy. I think. I think he has a little more trouble getting in touch w/ his anger than Sai bc of his emotional closeness to Danzō.
i think. because yamato knows that he was something more like Danzō's favorite, and that conveyed a vastly different experience than Sai's, he might feel a little complicated about being like "So...ROOT trauma, huh? Hell of a thing!" but. i also like to think that he's very quietly kind of trying to observe and support in a way which mostly allows Sai to figure himself out—I think when they are older they would probably talk about it more (also because then their tongue-seals will have finally disappeared. Thanks sasuke!), once Sai has close friends in the village and everything
Just a lot of like. "I have friendships down. I have teammates down, easily—but what am I to the old woman I buy my cabbages from. What degree of friendliness do I exhibit to her."
"I think...whatever you're comfortable with is fine. I know neither of us had particularly normal upbringings, but you don't have to execute every interaction perfectly for people to care about and respect you."
anyway god this is so long and soooo based in my own personal HCs. I hope there was something in here that was interesting to you!
#artagans#yamswers#sai#sai yamanaka#he was my favorite character as a kid and the only character i actually remember#as a ND kid i obviously definitely related to the social issues. also he had a crop top and was a bit of an asshole#so i was like fuck yeah this guy rules and he DOES and i still love him a lot#also. sakura and naruto are really good influences on him i think and contribute to him learning quickly#both of them have such BIG feelings#and also are quick to say ''HEY the way I'm being treated SUCKS and I've HAD IT!!!!''#which is really good for sai to witness and experience#they both also like. are quick to express anger but its very healthy...they set boundaries#and they also like. clearly know he's having trouble with some things and forgive him the small stuff#idk i have a lot of feelings abt his relationship to the other team seven kids. its nice...#all of this under the disclaimer that like. this is only my experience of sai and naruto#even if kishimoto WERENT an incredibly inconsistent writer (which he is) my interpretation is not gonna be to everyones taste
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[Gorgon] Some Secrets Should be Said
Gorgon Male x Unaware/Oblivious Male Reader
Eros
Warnings: Tiniest ammout of homophobia/racisim, smoochin in a supply closet, YOU MAY BE IN HIGHSCHOOL BUT YOU ARE 18
Masterlist
---------------------------------------------
It was an early Monday morning. The usual early birds were arriving at school, you being one of them. Rumor was going around of a new student getting enrolled. There were only three high schools in this small town; One for monsters, one for humans, and one for both. You were enrolled in the one that shared with monsters. The overall relations in the school were good, other than the typical high school antics.
You had just been dropped off by your sibling and we're walking into the building. A few people smiled your way and you smiled back, heading to your first hour. The teacher was a Satyr and she was a bubbly as ever, happy to see you in the morning. "Good morning (Y/n), we have a new student coming today." Your ears perked up and you looked over to her.
"Ah, we do? So the rumor was true after all?" She laughed and said, "Yes! He's gonna make a bit of history here." You became confused at her statement as you walked over to your seat. "What do you mean by that?" You asked setting your bag on the table. "I might get in a bit of trouble for telling but..." She walked over, her hooves clacking on the floor as she did. She leaned in on the table, "He will be the first Gorgon to be enrolled into the school!"
She seemed overly excited about the new student but you smiled at her enthusiasm. "You seem awfully happy about that. Is he in our class?" You asked, sitting down in your chair. Her smiled seemed to get wider as she nodded. You paused for a moment and leaned back. "Does that mean he's gonna sit by me?" She nods again. "Yep! You are the only one without a table partner. I'm sure you'll be fine. He's a nice kid." She ruffeled your hair and you swatted her hands away. "Auntie, you know I'm taken right?" She isn't your biological aunt but she's very close with your mom so you call her it for fun.
She laughed and walked away saying, "He's a cute one." You sighed and rolled your eyes as you pulled out your phone. You opened Snapchat and sent a message to your boyfriend.
You took a cute selfie, looking down at the phone while your forehead rested on the table.
Aunties super excited about our new student.
Ngl, I kinda am too. She said he was a Gorgon and I think she's onto my facination with cute snakes xx
You sent the snap and put your phone face down on the table before resting your face on your bag. A minute or so passed before you got a message back.
It was a black screen but he usually sent one. Admittedly, you have never seen him but you respected that since you fell in love with his personality, which was charming as ever.
Don't go cheating on me now ;)
I might just have to show you I'm cuter xx
You smiled and took another selfie.
So that means I get to see you then??? Game on babe xx
You smiled as you sent it. Yeah, it was cheesy flirting but it made you happy none the less. A few seconds later he messaged back with another black screen.
Hmm, I just might lol
You sent that you love him too and put your phone in your pocket. Smiling slightly as you looked up to see that some other students were starting to show up. Soon enough, the first bell for class to start rings and students filter in, taking their seats. Five minutes later, you still haven't seen a certain Gorgon as the final bell rings, saying anyone who wasn't there was late.
Gotta get to class, message you when I can
Love you xx
Mrs. Hucksburry stood at the front of the class, writing some last minute things on the board. "Alright class," Most of the students quiet down at her words. "As you may have heard, we have a new student today! I want you to treat him with respect as he is one of us," She said referring to her fellow monsters. "He is the first of his kind to be enrolled into our schools system." Right as she finished speaking, the door opened to show a rather handsome face and a the obvious 'hair' that came in the shape of several small, darkly colored snakes that seemed to form some sort of style.
He wore rather nice and stylish clothes, very 90's -esk. Mrs. Hucksburry smiled more and looked over to him. "Good morning Mr. Lamollot, glad to see you made your way here." He smiles a cute and almost shy smile, making a pair of girls in class giggle. You watched and tuned out what they were saying before seeing he was looking at you.
You waved to him as he walked over to your table. "I'm guessing you're (Y/n)?" You smiled and nodded, "That'd be me." You put your bag on the floor next to the table and he quietly sat down next to you. "I'm Eros by the way." He was quiet when he spoke as class had officially started. You pulled out a notebook with a pen/pencil and made a message page.
You have the same name as my boyfriend!
You tore the paper out and slid it over to him while he was getting his own notebook and pen. Notes were handwritten on the board since the projector broke and hadn't been replaced yet but no one seemed to mind. The paper was slid back over to you.
Really? What are the chances of that?
His hand writing was nice for a boy and you looked out of the corner of your eye to see him smiling. You smiled too and wrote back.
Who knows but I think it's cool
You slid the paper back and he took a minute to slide it back but you patiently waited since you would have done the same. He didn't write anything on it.
You seem pretty chill Eros, wanna hang out at lunch? Also can I see your schedule? • 3 •
The paper was passed back for the fifth time during class and all it said was his schedule along with a "Sure!" underneath. You told him that the two of you share the same schedule. WhAt A cOiNcIdEnCe.
You looked over to him to see him looking at the paper. He looked up to you and you smiled. Eros smiled back and took the paper to ask.
Do you have early release too?
You read it as he wrote and he looked up to you. You nodded and he wrote again.
Wanna go chill at the park?
You shrugged and nodded again when he looked up to you. He smiled and nodded as the two of you went back to working on class work. You hadn't noticed it before but, his snakes seemed to be interested in you, which you thought was cute.
--- Skip to Break ---
An hour and a half had passed and the two of you had talked a bit throughout the time. The bell for break just rang and you got up with Eros. The two of you walked out to the hallway. "Let me make a stop by my locker real quick then we can go to next hour and chill there for break." He nodded and leaned against the locker next to you when two girls walked up to him. They were the same pair from first hour.
"Hey Eros, wanna hang with us at lunch?" The "leader" asked, standing in front of him. "Yeah that'd be like, totally cool if you did." Her buddy said, standing next to him. "Oh, sorry, me and (Y/n) al-" She cut him off with a scoff. "Oh you mean halfie? That kids got an imaginary boyfriend. How about you just ditch him and come eat with us." Eros looked over to you to see you had tensed and slowed your movements.
The girls focus turned on you, making you bite your lip. "Do you think you could not ruin this guy? He's like, super hot and doesn't need to be tainted by you." You looked away and felt a vibration come from your phone. You took the chance and opened it to see a message from your boyfriend. She smirked, "Did your 'boyfriend' text you? What'd he say?" She asked in a taunting tone.
You ignored her and opened the message. It was a new picture of the "super hot" guy standing next to you looking down to his phone.
Wanna dip babe?
These bitches are annoying the fuck outta me lol
The three of you looked up to him surprised as you closed your locker. He awkwardly smiled and said, "Guess I had to ruin that surprise cause some bimbos wanna fuck a gay guy." He laughed and walked over to you, grabbing your hand. You were speechless.
How did I not connect the dots earlier? Am I really that dense?
"It's a shame too. I was considering being friends, until you insulted my boyfriend, that is." He locked your fingers and looked back at the two. "Go suck a dildo, whore." Eros flipped them off and walked off with you around the corner, looking for a private spot. "Anywhere there won't be eavesdroppers?" He asked quietly. You nodded and lead him to a back room.
You opened the door with the key you had and let you go in first. The room was pretty nice considering it was useless. You turned on the light at set your bag down, Eros doing the same. "Are you really my boyfriend?" You asked stepping closer to him. He blushed and nodded, "I... I think so... I kind of ruined the supr-mm!" His eyes widened as you connected your lips to his. You pulled away and were about to speak when he connected them again, pressing his body into yours slightly.
He pulled away and you smiled, a blush was covering your face. "I've wanted to do that for so long." You said looking up to him slightly. "Me too." He said, hugging you close. "Why did you lie to me about being human?" You asked, resting your face on his chest. "I was... Scared of how you'd react if I told you the truth." You pulled away and looked up to him. "Are you kidding? Look what I was missing out on!" You said, making gestures to him.
Eros smiled and laughed. "I have a question for you though," You tilted your head slightly. "Why did they call you halfie?" You looked away and brushed back the hair around your ears. The tips of them were pointed much like an elf's but not as long. "My dads an elf. They like to use it as an insult since they're full and I'm not..."
Eros smiled again and nuzzled his nose to the crook of your neck. His snakes were gently booping their noses against your cheek as if giving you small kisses. You giggled at the sensation and he hummed to ask what was so funny. "Your snakes are cute." You said gently intertwining your fingers with them. He gently kissed your neck and rubbed your sides. "Well, they love you just as much as I love you." He said closing his eyes and hugging you.
You smiled and removed your hand to cup his cheek and make him look at you. His golden eyes were half lidded as he did. "Well," You said almost mocking him in away. "I love you and your snakes too." His eyes closed as he leaned in and yours did the same, both of your lips connecting again.
Eros pressed himself into you as both of you kissed. You pulled away first for air and he kissed your cheek and jaw lightly. You checked your phone when he pulled away he asked. "I'm curious how you got a key to a janitors closet." You leaned up to him and kissed his cheek. "My biological uncles the principal and he gave me the room to chill if I need to. It's usually where I would hang out for lunch but I dont really need to anymore since early release and all."
He "ooh'd" and nodded. "Makes sense. Wish I had a place like this at my old school." He looked back at you and his eyes went to your hair while you were checking something on your phone. Eros almost hesitantly brushed his fingers through your (h/c) hair. You jumped slightly at the sudden touch but enjoyed it none the less. "We have 4 minutes by the way." You said closing your eyes and leaning into his hand.
"Your hair is really nice. It's so soft." He smiled when you did and he gently kissed your nose while removing his hand from your hair. You tried your best to make it look like how it did before. "Sorry." He said gently with a small laugh. "Don't be, let's head to next hour so we can get this day done with and hang out." He nodded at your words and you grabbed his hand as the two of you grabbed your bags and quietly made it to the class you're meant to be in.
--- Skip to End of Day ---
The last two hours of school they had went by pretty quickly. The bell for lunch and early release seniors rang, making most people rush to leave or go to lunch. You and Eros lagged behind, waiting for the halls to clear a bit. He gently grabbed your hand as you finished putting your bag on. "Do you wanna go to the park or my house? I have a car so it doesn't matter too much on which you pick." He said with a small laugh.
You blushed and shrugged, "I would probably like your house since it's kinda cold out right now..." The two of you walked out of the class, hand in hand. The pair of girls from earlier watched with hatred/jealousy as the two of them walked out together. They were all going the same way so they got to see Eros walk you to his 1969 Blue Camaro.
Eros unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you to get in to which you gladly accepted. You set your bag down by your feet and buckled as he set his bag in the back and got in. "I hope my dad isn't home." He said closing his door and starting the car. "Why do you say that?" You asked as he buckled his seat belt.
He sighed and leaned back on his seat. "He doesn't actually know we're... Y'know, dating. Or if he does he has no clue you're a guy..." You nodded and looked to him while he backed out from the parking lot. "We can still go to the park. I'll survive I'm sure." You said softly. "Plus I kinda wanna wear your jacket..." You mumbled the last part while looking away but he heard and smiled, acting as if he didn't hear.
"There's one close to my house we can go to. It's pretty cool if you wanna go there." Eros said while stopping at a light. "That sounds good." He smiled again and looked over to you before looking back at the light. Seeing it change to green, he stepped on the gas again and headed to the destination.
---
The ride was comfortably quiet other than the occasional comment about something in the passing scenery. "Ok, we're here." Eros said, parking his car in the relatively empty parking lot. "I've never seen this place before. It's really pretty." You said as the two of you stepped out.
"Yeah. It's pretty quiet here. I usually hang out here after school. I have never been home "on time" since I got a car 3-ish years ago." You smiled and held his hand as he locked the car and put the keys away. "I'll take you to my favorite spot. There's all kinds of secret areas thanks to the trees." He said with a slight child like glee. You giggled like the school boy that you are as he dragged you along through a beautiful walkway that was shaded by the trees. "Gods it's so pretty here." You said under your breath.
You walked for what felt like forever before he shifted to stand behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist. He removed his hand to show one of the few non blank pictures he sent. "Oh wow." The winter sun was shining over the neighboring town, giving a good idea of just how small it was. "We have a cliff?" You asked suddenly, making Eros laugh and hug you close to his body.
Eros smiled as he took a turn off the path and up a small hill. He stopped and gently let go of your hand, covering your eyes. You reached up to remove his hand but he stopped you. "W-what are you doing Eros?" He giggled and started walking, making you grab onto him afraid of running into something. "Eros?!"
"Don't worry babe. I promise it's nothing bad. I know you'll like it."
"Kinda crazy right?" He said before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nodded as his snakes gently booped you're temple and cheek again, making you smile. You reached up and gently placed a hand on Eros' cheek, rubbing your thumb against his jawline. "Wanna sit down? I have two and a half hours before I have to be home." You nodded again and he pulled away, leading you over to a fairly large tree.
He took off his jacket and tossed it up onto a branch before jumping into the tree himself. You were surprised before he reached down to help you up. "C'mon, it'll give us some privacy just incase anyone comes over here." You somewhat hesitantly took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the thick tree branch. He leaned back against the trees core, letting his legs hang down and inviting you to do the same against him.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence again while he hugged you close, resting his head against your shoulder. "I love you. A lot." He mumbled softly into your ear. You smiled and held onto the top of his hand that was holding onto your stomach. "I love you a lot too." You mumbled back. "Oh and, do you wanna wear my jacket now? I noticed you were shivering ever since we started walking."
You blushed and looked down to the tree branch and ground below it. "I didn't think you heard me say that..." He giggled and leaned forward a bit, grabbing the jacket off the branch it was hooked on to. You moved forward and he helped you put the slightly bigger jacket on. You snuggled into the lingering warmth, taking in his soft cologne.
"Your jacket smells good babe." Eros chuckles and pulls you against his chest again. "Well, it's got my favorite cologne on it so if course it smells good." You smile and let your head fall back against his shoulder and he kissed your temple.
"So. Do you wanna explain yourself a bit?"
-----
3261
Minimal spell/grammar checking, also set up for a part 2?
#mxm#monster x male reader#male monster x reader#x male reader#monster male x male reader#monster male#oneshot
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❛ I'M NOT BULLETPROOF ❜
❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Hello, here’s the request all sort out ... could I get a Antonio imagine where the reader is related to someone on the unit? With the prompts (fluff 3/ 7) and also could you make it smut? Thank you once more!
❚❙ PROMPTS: “I just wanted to hear your voice”. / “We can pretend that nothing happened last night, but it did”.
❚❙ ANTONIO DAWSON MASTERLIST.
❚❙ WORDS: about 2k.
❚❙ WARNINGS: nsfw, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids.
❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.
❚❙ GIF credits: to my amazing @sonsofeorl.
❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @anotherfan07 @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.
“Hey…”
“Antonio?”
Sitting up on your bed tossing away the sheets, you turn on the small lamp somewhat worried. It's too late and his gloomy tone of voice worries you. For Jay, you know it hasn't been a good week in the way of the delicate case they have had in his hands. A guy who used to rape and murder officers, just because he thought they didn't deserve to live. In the academy, the instructors teach you to catch the bad people but not to deal mentally with what they do. Every cop has their own way to confront him. Your brother, for example, likes to play videogames to escape from the world.
“You okay?” Whispering, you curl up your legs to your chest, resting your cheek on them.
“Yeah, just wanted to hear your voice”.
You can't help but draw a shy smile on your lips, feeling your face slightly burning. You can't lie and say that he hasn't attracted you since Jay introduced you. He has always been kind and tender, and more funny than your middle-brother had told you.
Last night you went to dinner after work and he drove you to your house. And no, you weren't expecting him to kiss you, just as he wasn't expecting you to correspond it with something else than a physical attraction. You can assure that you're in love with him, but you know you are falling for him a little more every time Antonio looks at you and smiles for no reason.
“Whe—Where are you?”
“Close to the beach. Walking. Clearing my head”.
Puckering your lips, placing your eyes over the large window in front of your bed, you try to not succumb to a new necessity you didn't know you had.
“Wanna come over…?”
“I'd like it”. The murmur appears after some seconds of silence, racing your heart for an instant.
“'Key, see you now”. Biting your bottom lip to contain a smile, you hang up the call.
You decide to get up from bed, being aware that if you stay there you'll end up falling asleep again. The beach isn't too far from your house, knowing the way to perfection. It's your favorite place to have something for dinner after a long shift in the cafeteria you work in. Taking the advantage to bring some order in your flat, you lose track of time till the knocks on the main door claims your attention.
Accommodating your hair, you lead your bare feet to the entrance not being able to hide the soft smile that curves up the corners of your lips, when you receive him. Antonio looks tired to death, not wasting time to hug you under the door frame. Surrounding his neck with both arms you take a step to hold him closer, being overwhelmed by all the sensations he is transmitting to you in such a simple gesture.
The hug lasts longer than you could think, not being bothered by that, enjoying every second of his warmth wrapping you. Hearing him sigh with his forehead resting over your shoulder, you push some distance between both to let him come inside and close the door after his steps.
“Wanna drink something? I have beer, coke, whisky… Water?”
“No, I'm good”. He just replies, taking off his jacket to hang it on a chair. “Listen… we can pretend that nothing happened last night. But it did. I don't wanna put pressure on you and I know who your brothers are, but… I really like you. I've been thinking about you, about us, the whole day. In my job you know when you start to work, but you don't know if you'll come home and I don't want to lose the opportunity of being with you, of leaving this world knowing… that I've made you happy”.
These words, the desperation in his voice as he is finishing them, leaves you speechless. Your brain is trying to process what Antonio has just said, keeping his trembling hands inside the pocket of his jeans. The first thing you can think about is that you don't care about Jay, nor Will. They only want for you a man who treats you like you deserve. The best of the best. And the man in front of you is it.
“I can leave, if you wan'me to”.
“Wh— no, no, no”. You fastly reply, taking the steps enough to shorten the distance between the two of you, aware that you've spent too many seconds without saying anything, making him doubt that you don't feel exactly like he does. “I… Antonio, I…”
As soon as you understand that you're not able to form a sentence with sense, you simply place your hands on both sides of his neck while standing on your tiptoes, to crash your lips on his. It doesn't take him by surprise, being what he was waiting for more than for a talk. Bending down slightly, he lifts you up to urge you to surround his waist with your legs. The necessity of feeling each other closer and closer is suffocating you, leaving you breathless because of the passion concentrated in the kiss.
Antonio brings you to your room fastly than you can assimilate, falling on the bed when his knees collide with the mattress. The kiss breaks because of the laughs with a sensation of joyful filling up your chests. Helping him with his t-shirt to throw it somewhere on the floor, you roll up over his body before attacking his lips again. Biting, sucking and tasting them. Deepening with his tongue invading your mouth to play with yours. His hands paw your body almost desperate to memorize every inch of your anatomy, landing them on your ass when he feels the friction against the rock under his jeans, as soon as you swing your hips.
Antonio tosses off his shoes, heel against heel, sliding his fingers over your body to grab the gems of your t-shirt and take it off to discover your soft and sweet skin. Normally, both you and him, would enjoy some foreplay; but not this time. Not after long months of containing the desire to be together in every way. He needs to be inside you. You need him to be inside of you. And while his lips devour your breasts helping himself with a hand, stealing your honeyed moans, the other undoes his belt and the zip of his jeans. Three simply pulls down and his hardness breaks free to his abdomen.
You can't help but lick your lips strongly, urging you to lie on your back to watch him roll down the black thong left on you by your thighs. The fire burning within his eyes gives you chills, not being able to break eye-contact. Settling himself between your legs, spreading them for his delight, his right hands goes straight to his dick; jerking himself off to prepare for you.
“Look at me…” He almost begs with a broken thread of voice, as his glans rubs your center slowly, playing with your mind. “We're on time to stop”.
“I don't want you to”. Your lips brushes his, wrapping his neck with both arms.
You couldn't regret it. You couldn't regret letting him walk into your life. For letting him love you with so much kind and tenderness. Antonio is everything you could have dreamt with all your life, and you're not going to let him go. He just nods in silence with his eyes fixed on yours, digging himself inch by inch inside you. The warmth and the wetness within your cunt make him grunt and shake slightly, feeling by his part how his length forces your wall a little creating a delicious sensation.
“Fuck…” You sigh nailing your fingertips on the back of his neck when he reaches your limits.
Buried deep inside you, one of your legs surrounds his waist trying to push him closer.
“You feel so good, amor”. He babbles pecking your lips with sloppy kisses, placing his right hand on your thigh, as the other wraps your middle back. “You wan'me to move?”
“Please, Antonio”.
He feels proud of hearing you imploring, moving his hips back enough to go forth again, starting a slow dance that curls your tiptoes and causes your eyelids to close. It feels like your bodies are made exactly for the other, fitting to perfection. Soon, your whimpers fill up your room, creating a pleased and delighted echo that it's like a celestial song for the man satisfying you as his only worry tonight. He has the imperious necessity of demonstrating you every single thing he has carried inside his heart since Jay introduced you.
Thrust after thrust, moan after moan, the atmosphere around you is full of heat and devotion for each other. Antonio nails his teeth in your neck without warning you, feeling the tip of his tongue pressing down your skin with soft caresses, being aware that tomorrow you will have a new tattoo. From your lips escape some giggles mixed with surprised gasps, being the match that lights the wildfire inside you.
With a quick move, not knowing where the strength has come from, you sit over him making him laugh. Putting your hands on his bare chest, Antonio travels his to your hips while resting his head on the pillow. If he wasn't in love before, now he really is, watching you taking control. He hasn't ever seen a most beautiful view; you, rocking your body over his, dragging your nails on his skin to bristle it wherever they venture, your breasts almost bouncing with every move (...). If his body were a temple, you would be his goddess without a single damn doubt.
And you can't help but speed up the pace, synchronizing your pleased vocals in a perfect melody all around; increasing them as the knot in your lower belly becomes more suffocating, running your lungs out of air. One of Antonio's hands is placed in your middle back, pushing you down to catch your lips with his. He has declared himself an addict since the very first moment he touched them.
The pearls of sweat decorate your foreheads, as the moans are constant and you can't delay it anymore. The orgasm explodes inside you like fireworks screaming out his name, not caring about the fact that your neighbors can hear you, feeling his hot seed filling you up with a last push to your g-spot. An indescribable sensation that has you two breathless.
You can't help but utter a grunt of disappointment when he pulls himself out of you, falling by a side of your bed trying to catch back your air. Looking at Antonio, the two of you giggle inevitably being conscious of what just happened. But it feels good. It feels so good. Stretching his arms towards you to embrace you against his body, he leans a little to press his lips on yours with so much tenderness, leaving a sigh on them. Resting your heads on the pillow, you place a hand on his cheek to caress it gently with your thumb, watching him close his eyes to only focus on your touch.
“The first time I saw you… I knew your smile would give me some trouble”. You mumble, feeling his grip become a little tightly.
“Did it, uh?”
“Not the kind I thought”.
Antonio chuckles licking his bottom lip, shrugging funnily.
“I'm not gonna say I'm sorry, baby”.
#lemme know what you think in a comment! ⚡#antonio dawson#antonio dawson x reader#antonio dawson imagine#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd x reader
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Well, yet another fic no one asked for😃
I wanted to write this because some time go, I was watching the fireworks when this song started to play↓↓↓
And I just thought how romantic it would be if I wasn't forever alone 🙃 so, I build a story around that. I hope you enjoy it!
P.s. This is a F!MC
--
I had been so excited for this day! In the human realm, my hometown this time of year had a huge festival ending with a huge firework show. I had asked to go a week in advance but due to being in the Devildom for the exchange program, I couldn't go. It definitely was a disappointment. However Diavolo, seeing me upset and now curious about the tradition, asked all about it and he thought it sounded fun. Thanks to him always wanting to do anything new, he immediately decided to do the same here in the Devildom.
So through the long week, he asked about everything we would do at the event to make it much more fun and quickly get everything ready to make this last second festival. It somehow all came together and it feels almost exactly like the festival from the human realm. The food, sweets and all! Now it was the time to enjoy the festival!
The brothers couldn't understand why I was so excited for this. Though we all went to festivals and saw fireworks, It was just something that I would always look forward to this time of the year and it's just more special this time around. It kinda feels as if I'm sharing something that I love with everyone I care about in a place where I like to call my new home. Hopefully they'll come to enjoy this as much as I do.
"So, this is called an Elephant ear?“ Beel asked, drooling at the large fried sweet in front of him.
I laugh, as I grab a piece before he can scarf the treat whole, "Yeah, it's just fried dough with powdered sugar on it. They usually sell these at any carnival or festival." I pop the elephant ear in my mouth, savoring the amazing taste.
The brothers each had something to eat as we took a break from all the festival games littered around. We all take two picnic benches for the 8 of us, well, us and Beel's giant pile of food he got. Everyone had won something from the games…well everyone but me and Mammon. Mammon was determined to win a game, yet his luck seemed to be the worse for wear today and all the games we'd gone to all ended up with one of the other brothers winning the game. My luck honestly wasn't any better due to playing the same games that the others had won.
"I'm telling ya! Those games are rigged! The people runnin 'em are just a bunch of con artists!“ Mammon yells, clearly frustrated that he hasn't gotten anything.
"Or maybe you just suck lol" Levi says, holding a Ruri-chan plush to his chest.
"Honestly, you really shouldn't be surprised, you were pretty terrible at all those games since you had no choice but to play fair." Satan adds on, which all the brothers nod in agreement.
Asmo laughs, "Well, what do you expect from a scumbag?"
I start to get annoyed as the brothers all start to bash on Mammon. He seems fine on the surface but I've been around him long enough, with him basically living in my room and all, to see all his little ticks. Like when he's excited, his hand gestures are more dramatic, to emphasize his point or how his eyes light up when something catches his attention, like something to make a quick buck. However, right now, with the way his mouth slightly twitches and his hand shoved into his pockets, he's upset. He really only does this when the brothers throw insult after insult at him, like right now.
I sigh as they continue their assault on him. But an idea comes to mind and it'll be easy enough to pull off.
"Does...that all that stuff apply to me too? Since I didn't win anything either, after all..." I say, putting on my best pouting face and looking down at the ground.
Immediately, the brothers started to panic, trying to reassure me that it wasn't true, successfully drawing their attention away from Mammon. I slightly looked up, passed the frantic brothers to lock eyes with Mammon. He stood there for a moment, a bit confused by my sudden comment. I flash him a quick smirk before looking up at the brothers, accepting their apologies. The brothers seemed to relax and drop the topic after that, returning to the food they have. Mammon, who had seemingly understood what my intentions really were, looked at me, with his face slightly flushed, then stared down at his food.
In Mammon's mind, he honestly doesn't know what force sent Y/N here but, she is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to him. At first, he hated the idea of being her guardian due to all of the extra work he was given. But, as days turned to weeks, her treatment towards him was nothing but sweet and loving. It honestly was a huge adjustment for him, since everyone treated him like scum or useless, having her place so much faith in him, even defending him and doing little gestures like this, it makes his head spin. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but, his feelings for her drastically changed, he couldn't deny it now, how he longed for her, wanted her all to himself. How he loved her unconditionally.
I smile, quickly finish eating my food then stand up, "Ok! Time to get back to the games!“ I say, excitedly.
"Y/N, I'm glad you are excited but some of us still need to eat." Lucifer says, glancing at Beel and his mountain of food.
"Awww, come on Lucifer, I wanna try to win something before the fireworks start." I plop down again, putting my chin in my hands.
"Well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time." Lucifer tries to cheer me up, eating some fries.
Mammon looks up at Y/N, upon seeing her upset. He honestly hated seeing Y/N upset, even if for something so small as to wait for everyone to finish eating. He wanted nothing more than to see her smile everyday, it honestly was one of his favorite parts of the day to see her smile so sweetly. He'll do anything to make her happy. He sits up and scarfs down his food before standing up. "Ok, how 'bout this,' ' Mammon gets up and walks over to me, ' ' since I haven't won anythin', I'm gonna go play some more games and I'll meet ya guys later. Y/N, ya can come if ya want to." Mammon starts to walk away, at a slower pace than he usually would.
"Yeah! Ok!" Before any of the other brothers could protest, I quickly got up and hurried over to Mammon. I can hear the brothers stumbling to get up to follow us.
"Hey! Mammon is stealing Y/N!"
"That's not fair!“
"That scumbag..."
I hear some of the things they're saying as they seem to be trying to catch up.
I grab Mammon's hand and start to make a run for it. "Come on!" I glanced back at Mammon, who seemed shocked. He looks back to see the brothers in hot pursuit of us. Getting the hint, Mammon picks up the pace. We high tail it out of there, laughing like a bunch of kids all the while.
--
Me and Mammon finally stop and I flop on the floor, trying to catch my breath as Mammon puts his hands on his knees.
"I…I think we lost 'em" Mammon pants, out of breath from running around.
"I…I think so…jeez, how…how do you always do this when you get in trouble?“ I wheeze out, my human body not used to running as much as a demon. Especially if that demon is Mammon.
Mammon straightens up, finally catching his breath, "Well, I'm not usually running from ALL of my brothers, just Lucifer mostly."
Mammon reaches his hand to me and after a moment, I let him help me up. He helps me to my feet and when I look up, his face is very close to mine. We stare at each other for a moment before both of our faces turn more flushed than we already were.
His bright blue eyes that have a hint of that golden yellow has me in a trance. When I first met Mammon, it was the first thing that drew my attention, it's honestly something that I always find myself staring at all of the time. They are very beautiful to me and never fail to make me feel relaxed when I see them. But not only that, he is a very handsome man. His rich caramel skin with his pure white hair makes his face stand out even more. He is just so captivating to look at, however his personality is what truly makes him shine. Even if he tries, and fails, to hide his true feelings, he always has his heart on his sleeve, rather if he realizes that or not. He tries so hard to help me or to even make my day brighter when I'm not feeling my best. He even tries to protect his brothers and is always there for them. He honestly is the most caring person I've ever met and I can't help but fall for him because of that.
Mammon looked down at her face, he honestly couldn't help but stare. In his mind, she was more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. Her beauty not only stopped at her looks but the person she was. She was a true wonder to him, too good to be true yet, here she was, defying all logic. All he wanted to do was look at every detail of her face, her eyes as they shine, her soft skin as the blush covers her face, her parted lips as her breath finally slows down. Mammon was the first to turn away, catching himself now staring at nothing but her lips.
He clears his throat. "W-Well since we're here, let's get to some games!" Mammon says, his fangs flash with his grin.
We made our way to the nearest game booth, both of us looking at the various prizes. The booth in question is a simple ring toss, the bottles are organized by colors which show what size prize you can get. There are the ridiculously large stuffed bears that are taller than me to the very small animal plushies. Scanning all the prizes, one catches my attention, a black plush crow with a yellow tag on it. It was big enough to hold in your arms, it's wings dangled at its sides. It had its beak opened slightly to look like a smile. I glance over at Mammon, who is currently eyeing a plushie of a grimm, that also has a yellow tag hanging off of it. I laugh, thinking of how that plush crow reminded me of him.
Mammon looks at me, slightly confused, "What are ya laughing at?"
"Oh nothing, though I know what prize I want." I smile, looking back at the crow plush.
Mammon follows my eyes over to the plush, he tilts his head at my choice, "Ya sure that's what ya want? There are plenty of things better than that ol' crow."
I nod enthusiastically, "Yeah, I think it's cute, like someone else I know." I playfully push him.
His ears turn a dark red but he laughs, "Well, I know what I want so, let's go and win some prizes!“
We pay the demon running the game and start trying to make the rings reach its mark. However, as in most carnaval games, the rings in question are only slightly bigger than the top of the bottles, making it much harder to win. Not to mention the bottles for the better prizes are further back, making it much harder. As we try a couple times, we don't get much luck and we're running out of grimms to play. However as we reach our last game, even though I end up with nothing, Mammon manages to sink a ring on a yellow bottle.
"We have a winner!“ the demon behind the booth says, walking over to grab the ring.
"Yeah! This was nothin' for the Great Mammon!" Mammon threw his hands in the air, and I cheered with him, "You did it! You won!“
The demon walks back over to us, "Alrighty, you can pick a prize with a yellow tag. Which will it be?"
Mammon's eyes flick to the plush he was eyeing earlier and he goes to speak, but an announcement rings through the speakers all around the festival, "The firework show will be starting in 15 minutes, marking the end of the festival! So hurry and grab a seat to enjoy the show!“ a cheery voice says before the music from before starts to play again. Mammon looks down at me for a moment before a small smile appears on his face.
Mammon looks at the demon and points at the plush crow, "I'll take that one."
I look up at Mammon, "But, I thought you wanted-“ I get cut off by the demon swift return, "Here you go." The demon hands him the crow plush.
Mammon takes the plush from the demon with his usual bright smile and starts walking off, I quickly follow, still confused. Once I catch up, he looks at me with a blush on his face and holds out the crow to me.
"W-well, there wasn't really anythin' I wanted, so I figured I'd get this ol' crow since ya seemed to want it so bad." He says with his usual bravado, yet it was a bit more shy than normal.
"But, you said…" I start to say as I take the plush but, cut my thought short.
Even though I know he wanted something, that much he's been saying all day, he still got me this crow plush. Knowing how he struggles to do these things and becoming a stuttering mess when it's pointed out, I choose to not question him. Yet, I can't help but love him even more, him knowing that I wanted something as well and that he'll be going back home later with nothing. I'll have to repay him later but for now, I'll just enjoy the rest of the festival with him.
I shake my head and give him a smile, one that shows how much I truly appreciate and love him, "Thank you so much, Mammon." I hold the crow close to myself.
Mammon feels all the air in his lungs escape him. Y/N's smile, the sparkle of joy and something more…intimate in her eyes. Honestly, for a split second, he found himself jealous of that crow, seeing Y/N holding it so lovingly. He wanted, no, needed to show her how much he loves her. If not tonight, it'll drive him insane.
--
After looking a bit, me and Mammon found a perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We sat on a hill that was a bit further away from the festival and luckily, we could still hear the music playing from one of the speakers nearby. We sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Which based on the amount of time it took to find this isolated spot, it should start at any moment.
Mammon is resting his arms on his knees as I sit with my legs crossed, the plush crow close to my chest. I watch all the demons in the distance hurrying to find a spot to watch the show as well. Thankfully, none of them seem to look in this direction. So right now, it's just us, alone.
After a few moments, Mammon looks over at me and shyly starts to speak, "H-hey, Y/N?"
I look back at Mammon, noticing his face slowly forming a blush, "Yes?"
"I…I wanted to tell ya-" Mammon gets cut off by the first firework going off.
We slightly jump, but my eyes widen as the firework show starts, "It's starting!"
I watch as the firework starts to make the usual dark Devildom sky shine bright with many different colors. All the while, a familiar song starts to play on the speakers, making this a moment that I want to treasure always. It was a song from the human realm and it was a song that made this moment feel more intimate. I honestly couldn't ask for a better day, I got to go to the festival with all my favorite people and I even had, dare I say it, a wonderful date with Mammon. The thought of going on a date with Mammon makes my cheeks burn but I truly wish that this day would never end.
Mammon's heart starts to pound in his chest, his gaze never leaving Y/N. He watches as her eyes glow with wonder, watching the fireworks as if it were the first time. She never looked more beautiful, more perfect than right now. If he was ever gonna make his move, it had to be now. Mammon opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find it in himself to break her trance. However, his greed for her attention, her voice, her touch, for nothing but her, was growing. So, he closes his mouth and takes a deep breath. He leans closer to her as his shaky hand gently touches her cheek to turn her face towards him.
When I suddenly feel a light touch on my face, I snap back to reality. Before I can react, I feel my face being turned and suddenly, Mammon leans in, his eyes close and gently presses his lips on mine, like he's afraid that I'll break. My eyes widen, taking a moment to realize what is happening. Mammon, feeling me not move, starts to move away, most likely worried he did something wrong. But, not wanting to lose the moment, I quickly filled in the space he left, pressing my lips a bit harder than he did. Mammon tenses at my sudden movement but quickly melts into the kiss, holding my face with his hands. I place the plush to the side, momentarily forgotten, I place my hands on his chest for support.
The air stills, the world around us starts to disappear. The only thing to keep us from forgetting the world completely is the sound of fireworks and the song playing so sweetly.
I snake my arms around Mammon's neck, then he takes the chance to pull me in closer by my waist, closing the gap between us. Even though he was nervous at first, he seems to have relaxed, even nips at my bottom lip, causing me to gasp. He swiftly slips his tongue in my mouth, tangling it with mine, deepening the kiss. We held each other close, like we were afraid that the other would vanish.
Needing to breathe, we lean away slightly. I'm not sure when it happened, but I managed to end up on Mammon's lap. Mammon seems to also realize the position we're in and his breath hitches.
His hand comes up and holds my face, "I love ya, Y/N."
My heart flutters and I lean into his touch, "I love you too, Mammon. I…I always have."
"Y/N, I care about ya so much and I…I don't want anyone else trying to steal my most precious treasure from me. The thought of it kills me, because I'm yer first man." Mammon stops, becoming more shy, "I w-want ya to be mine and…I'll be yers…if ya want me."
I feel as though all of the butterflies in my stomach would explode out of me. I can't stop the big smile that appears on my face, "Mammon," I hold his face in my hands, "no one could ever take me away. And not only that but…" I bite my lip, feeling a bit bashful, "You already have me. Now and forever."
If Mammon could, his eyes would have hearts in them. He looked at me with such lovestruck eyes, his face is probably the most peaceful expression I've ever seen. I look back at him in awe, honestly have never seen him so happy, like he's on cloud nine.
A smile is plastered on his face, "I promise that I will be with ya till the end of time. I gotta be the luckiest demon in the whole festival, no, the Devildom. But, I guess I did win something at the festival after all." His smile suddenly turns into a smirk, "What do ya say we go somewhere more private and we can continue…this?"
My face turns red, but I nod. We stand up, I grab my plushie so that we can leave when I suddenly hear someone, or rather, some people, running this way.
"MAMMON!"
We spin around, both of us knowing too well who that voice belongs to. Lucifer and the rest of the brothers are running at full sprint in our direction.
"Oh shit!" Mammon yells out, quickly sweeping me off my feet, making a run for it.
Startled, I grabbed on to Mammon's jacket, making sure to not drop my crow plush, "Ah! M-Mammon!“
He looks down at me, " Well, I might get strung up later, but I'm yer man now. I want ya all to myself and I don't know about ya, but I'm not ready for tonight to end." He flashes his signature smile.
I can't help but laugh, as we make yet another escape from the brothers. This is truly the best day I could have asked for.
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SOURCE: https://korngiant.tripod.com/kornisgoodforu/id10.html
Dead
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
All I want in life is to be happy", it's that simple. People say that it's become their own anthem. It's like whenever I start to feel good, something comes and takes it away and I feel like I'm nothing again, like I'm dead.
Falling Away From Me
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
The song is about domestic abuse and that there ways to get help whether it's telling someone or calling a help line, there are ways to get out of those situations. Noone has to be treated like that.
Trash
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
"Trash" is about how I threw my world and everything out. I threw her away. I threw my old self away. It basically comes back down to the sex thing. The battles I did on the road, this whole album is what I went through because I was on the road and I went crazy.
Beg for Me
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
"Beg For Me" is more of an angry thing because the whole thing for "Beg For Me" is the crowd. The only time I was good on tour was when I walked up onstage and that's what the song is about. Feeling wanted is something one thing I've always needed. I was shuffled around so much when I was a kid...Being up onstage was the only point was the only time when my anxiety would go away for an hour.
Make Me Bad
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
I need to feel the sickness in you" ... It's spawned from f**kin', basically, from having sex. That's where that line comes from, but it means a whole bunch of things to me. "Make Me Bad" was about the battles I had being on the road, being married and being with other women. I'm not married anymore... beause of my lifestlyle, and I just couldnt do that to my wife anymore. So that ended. But does it make me bad that I have a dick and I have f**ken other feelings to be with other people? Why should I be with just one? It seems like human beings are genetically engineered to procreate. Thats what we do, f**k everything, and that's what our natural insides want to do. It is hard to find someone like that. But she was a good woman and I didnt want to keep on... I did the right thing, I was a man about it. It was better for me to tell her and let her go on with her life and find someone who could help her and be like that. So that song was spawned by that, does it make me bad to want to be with other women? In a sence it was my only drug, why... because I dont drink anymore, I cant drink. I've been sober for a year. I dont have any other vices. So at least doing that could be something.
Hey Daddy
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
"Hey Daddy" where I was schizophrenic and there were these voices telling me to do sh*t... To kill myself, basically. Daddy is one of my nicknames, so its like I'm talking to myself the whole time. It's hard to explain.
Dirty
Song Meaning: Jonathan
"I feel like a fucking whore to record companies." "You know how it is...the way we are used and marketed." "How they make all the money off us and we don't make shit!" "The only way we make money is to go out on tour and sell merchandise" "Basiclly we write all the music and turn in and they make all the money." "So I feel like that and also I feel like a slut cuz I'd go out at night and fucking girls and so I said fuck it, I'm going to do it. The only way to escape is to have sex." "Its all kind of different issues."
Its On!
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's On is my sh*t peer pressure song. Me being so stressed out going out and partying. Everybody's just going 'Come on dude, it's on.' That's partying, it's alcohol, cocaine, women. All that wrapped into one. I wrote a song about it. And the chorus I talked about Why am I really doing this? It's all my fault that I'm doing this because all the alcohol, the booze an the chicks do is just make it worse. They just rearrange all the problems in a different order that I can deal with at that moment.
Freak on a Leash
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
One of the best titles I've heard ever for a song. That's my song against the music industry. Like me feeling like I'm f**kin' a pimp, a prostitute. Like I'm paraded around. I'm this freak paraded around but I got corporate America f**kin' making all the money while it's taking a part of me. It's like they stole something from me, they stole my innocence and I'm not calm anymore. I worry constantly.
Got the Life
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That's a song baggin' on myself. How everything's always handed to me. How I look up to God and don't want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I've got everything I really need but I sometimes don't like. I don't know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actually get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. That's what I'm getting out of it right now.
Dead Bodies Everywhere
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That was the song about my parents trying to keep me out of the music business. My father was in it and he knew how it was and I totally understand now that I have a son. I want Nathan to be a musician but I him don't want him to go through the hell I went through. That's the same thing my Dad was doing. A lot of people can relate to it, because it's like the Dad's wanting their sons to be football players and their sons want to be doctors or something. That peer pressure its like trying to make them something they're really not. And the Dead Bodies thing is like so I did it and all I got out of it was dead bodies everywhere and got all traumatized. Thanks a lot Dad, Mom.
Children of the Korn
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That's the song that Ice Cube is on Cube came up with the title. I fed off of what he wrote, he was talking about growing up and puberty. Dictating what he can do, like how you gonna tell me how to live and who to f**k? And all this stuff. And I took that and in my stuff I was talking about being a kid always known as the f**kin' town faggot. It's funny how things change. That some of these people picked on me and all of a sudden look who's laughing now. Also in another of the verse I talked about all these parents f**kin hating me for what I do, saying I'm corrupting their children, but in turn these parents need to step outside of themselves and really listen to what I'm talking about. Then I think they can understand that they were kids before. They're just really quick to judge me. All the Children of The Korn are all our Korn fans. All those kids going through that sh*t and feeling what I feel.
B.B.K.
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Big black cock! That's what I call a jack and coke. Those little glasses they serve in Europe and everything. That's what I named it, big black cock. And that's another song about me dealing with the pressures of this album and how I, you know, I'm trying to kill myself, but you know? Do I really want to kill myself? Things I'm just questioning myself. Most of this is self-structured.
Pretty
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's a story about this little girl that came into the coroner's office when I was working there and she was f**ked by her dad. She was an 11 month old little baby girl. Her legs were broken back behind her and he just f**ked her like a toy doll and chucked her in the bathroom. It was the most heinous thing I've ever seen in my life and I still have nightmares about it.
All in the Family
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Fred was there after Korn TV and we said, 'Let's do a song together, Hey, man, let's go back and forth and rip on each other like an old school battle.' I don't know who's idea it was, I can't remember if it was mine or Fieldy's or Fred's but we came up with the idea and we started writing and we worked on it together. I came up with some bags on myself for Fred to say. It was all in good natured fun.
Reclaim My Place
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
This one is about the whole band and about all my life being called a homosexual. And then I became this big rock star in a band and I'm still called a fag even by my own band. So it's like I was f**kin' pissed off at them. It's like erase them all because I'm gonna reclaim my place and say hey, they owe a lot to me for what I did, and I owe a lot to them back. But, it still kinda sucks. I've never ever gotten away from that fag f**kin' title. Just because I'm a sensitive kinda guy. Kinda feminine it really sucks.
Justin
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Justin, that was the kid dying terminally with intestinal cancer. His last dying wish was to meet us and it really freaked me out. That threw a whole bunch of new kind of pressures on my head. That's really intense. Someone's gonna die and his last thing he wants to do is come hang out with us. So I truly just freaked out. It's like why would you want to meet me? What makes me so special? And in turn I talk about how I admire his strength and his life. I couldn't stare at him because he was so content he was gonna die. No one could look him in the eyes. And I totally admire his strength. I wish I had it.
Seed
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Seed. That's all about the same thing again. I laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking about do I really need all this stuff? All this pressure on me? Because I'm a stressed out freak. It's about Nathan, it's about every time that I look into his eyes, I see myself how I used to be, innocent and stress free. I'm kind of jealous of it. It really sucks, I used to be that way. It's like I have to work so hard at this thing in my life. I have to become a stressed out freak. I put food on the table for my child. Every time I look in his eyes, I just see myself staring right back at my @ss laughing. I was like care free, innocent as a child. It's really weird and I'm really jealous of it.
Cameltosis
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That's a love song. It's about women in general, women who hurt me. It's Tre's lyrics. He's going on about chicks and my chorus is like I'm so scared to love anyone and really let them in after I got hurt really really bad by a girl. I've let Renee in a little bit, to be honest, but I'll never be that in love ever again. That's what I'm saying, if you've loved twice, you're gonna get f**ked, 'cause you usually do.
My Gift to You
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Renee always wanted me to write her a love song and that's why I called it My Gift To You. It's my gift to her, you know how I get sick. I always had a fantasy of f**king her and choking her to death. I fantasize about what it would look like me in her body and watching me do it. So it's like a really sick f**ked up song. I did it totally like, I love her so much, I want to take her out of this world. It's really strange. She used to leave notes on my pillow like 25 ways she'd like to kill me. She's got this weird death fetish. We're kinda f**kin' freaky. She got it. She's all 'Thank you that's kinda f**ked up. I was expecting a f**kin' I love you, baby kinda song.' I'm all, 'No, you know me.' I mean I can't do that.
Chi
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Chi is about a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. People turn to that when they have problems so that they won't have to feel their pain. The song was named after Chi Cheng from the Deftones. We named it after him because he used to call it reggae, and he loves reggae music.
Lost
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's the sterotypical thing about your best friend meeting a chick, and then you're nothing
Swallow
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That's about being paranoid. Drug-induced paranoia.
Good God
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's about a guy I knew in school who I thought was a my friend, but who f**ked me. He came into my life with nothing, hung out at my house, lived off me, and made me do sh*t I didn't really wanna do." "I was into new romantic music and he was a mod, and he'd tell me if I didn't dress like a mod he wouldn't be my friend anymore."
"Whenever I had plans to go on a date with a chick he'd sabotage it, because he didn't have a date or nothing. He was a gutless f**king nothing. I haven't talked to him for years.
Mr. Rogers
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Back in the day when I was a speed freak, um... even further back when I was a little kid watchin' Mr. Rogers, that sh*t was scary. He was a freaky old man... Land of Makebelieve and Mr. f**kinMcFeely and sh*t... made me sick. So back when I was doing speed, like for 5 or 6 days I'd be trippin out and my brain would start to get freaky and get schizophrenic and stuff, and I'd tape it and watch it everyday over and over... I don't know, I was sick in the head. As a kid he told me to be polite and all it did was get me picked on. I f**king hate that man. Thanks for making me polite and trusting everyone, and easy to take advantage of. So I spent 3 months on that one song, just tweakin' on it, and it was totally just my Mr. Rogers obsession, about how evil I thought he was. Pretty much drug induced.
K @ # Ø % (Kunt)
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
People think it's sexist but it isn't. It's more subconcious b*tching at all the women who've been with me in my life. It's not about women in feneral, just those women who hurt me." "Initially, we wrote it to send to American radio for a joke, because they always chop up all the other songs. So we were going to send a 'real' single seven days later."
A.D.I.D.A.S.
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It stands for all day I dream about sex. It's about how much of a pervert my ass is, and how I daydream about what a stud I am. But when it comes down to it, I'm a f**king pussy and I'm in there jacking off.
a** Itch
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
That was the last song I wrote, and I was so burned at writing out lyrics because everytime I write I get depressed because I start thinking about things, you know? So the whole song is about that. In the chorus it says, 'Before day, my sun will be dying'. It's because I put myself on the line all the time and for what? Because people aren't going to be listening to it anyway.
Kill You
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's about a relative I first met when I was 12. I f**king hate that b*tch. She's the most evil, f**ked up person I've met in my whole life. She hated my guts. She did everything she could to make my life hell. Like, when I was sick she'd feed me tea with Tabasco, which is really hot pepper oil. She'd make me drink it and say, 'You have to burn that cold out, boy'. f**ked up sh*t like that. So every night when I'd go to sleep, I'd dream of killing that b*tch. In some sick way I had a sexual fantasy about her, and I don't know what that stems from or why, but I always dreamt about f**king her and killing her
Ball Tongue
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
The meaning of ball tongue is simple. Some thought it had to do with oral sex, but in fact its about a guy we had to work with on a t-shirt (Jeff Creath). He either had a pierced tongue or a wart or something on his tongue and he was a dick to us.
Different live: Jonathan goes into a Rap (by Coolio) Called "Loddi Doddi" in the middle of the song.
Clown
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Korn was playing a show in San Diego for a clothing card. This skinhead guy came up and started flippin' me off. When we started, I bent down and the guy took a swing at me. Our tour manager, Jeff, got into it and knocked the guy out. I wrote this song about him: 'Scared to be honest with yourself/you're a cowardly man.
Faget
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
Everyone thinks I'm bashing gay people in this song, and I'm not. It's really about me going through high school being called 'pussy,' 'queer' and all that stuff, about getting picked on by all these jocks.
Shoots and Ladders
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It was written because all these little kids sing these nursery rhymes and they don't know what they originally meant. Everyone is so happy when singing but 'London Bridge' is about the Black Plague. All of them have these evil stories behind them." "The lyrics are all from nursery rhymes, and a lot of nursery rhymes go back to the Middle Ages. They're actually pretty twisted if you know the stories behind them, like about Black Death and stuff.
Helmet in the Bush
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
It's about a speed problem that I had. You know, you do a lot of speed and -- if you're a male -- your penis retracts severly. The guy heard at the beginning of the song is La Caco, a friend of the band. His real name is Michael and likes taco bell. He's a really Nice Guy and he has been friends with the band for years
Daddy
Song Meaning, Jonathan:
People think daddy' was writen because my dad f**ked me up the ass,thats not what the song's about. It wasn't about my dad or my mum. When I was a kid I was being abused by someone else and I went to my parents and told them about it. and they thought I was lying and joking around, they never did sh*t about it. They didn't belive it was happening to their son. I don't like to talk about that song, this is the most I've ever talked about it...
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Big Life in a Small Town (Part 1)
A/N: This is based on the song "Santa Fe (Prologue)" from the Newsies musical! It's not based on the plot of the musical. The song will be altered a tad, but not too much! In the next part though, I'll have to do some edits. But for now, you've got this... mess? I dunno, I'm writing this before it's done. This is post-X-men Apocalypse, so Peter is in his late 20's.
Genre: Bittersweet fluff
Warnings: alcohol, drinking, mentions of broken limbs, daddy issues, no beta reader, minimal editing
Word count: 1.3k (1,385 words)
The X-mansion was quiet, the cool midnight air only changing currents occasionally when a silver blur sprinted around.
Pietro had his younger brother in his arms, running around. Peter injured his leg a while ago, stuck on crutches. ANd it was killing the young speedster.
And Pietro noticed.
So he scooped his younger brother up out of his room, running him around the mansion's vast yard until he smiled. That's when he brought him up to one of the rooftop balconies of the mansion.
The two siblings weren't the only ones in their family who lived in the mansion. Pietro's twin, Wanda, was fast asleep, her room near the balcony.
Pietro, as immature as he may seem, was wise beyond his years. He'd seen more things than he ever would have wanted to for a 35-year-old man. Hell, anyone would be unsettled when you find your mother died of sickness, and your father was out of the picture when your younger brother was born a few years after.
Pietro and Peter sat on the balcony, a case of beer between the two, a sudden scoff came from the older speedster.
"What's up, you alright?" Peter asked, looking at his brother.
Pietro's eyes were glued to the ground below them, a sour expression on his face.
"Those streets down there," Pietro began, a dry laugh leaving his lips. "They sucked the life right out of our old man. Well, they aren't doing that to me."
Peter pursed his lips, watching as his older brother took a swig of his beer.
Pietro has always hated staying in one place for too long. The mansion hadn't really ever been his favorite place. Staying at their aunt's house in D.C. was something he looked forward to every summer. But, even then, he could only stay there for a few days before needing to go somewhere else. Not just from his need to move, but the U.S. government still wasn't absolutely fond of mutants.
"But everyone wants to come to New York," Peter let out a small chuckle. To an outsider, it'd sound like he was in disbelief, but he understood how Pietro felt.
Staying in one place was hard. But Peter also managed to make himself a family here at the mansion as he grew up. He met the ever-sweet Jean Grey when he was 20 years old. The poor girl had some trauma that no one but Chuck knew about. He got to meet Hank, and Raven, and all of the other younger kids. He thought of them all as his younger siblings.
He couldn't leave.
"You keep your small life in the big city. Give me a big life in a small town."
Pietro's words snapped Peter out of his thoughts, looking to his older brother. Pietro's eyes had lifted from the ground, looking up to the sky.
"They say folks are dying to get here."
"What about you, Piet?"
"Me? I'm dying to get away... to a little town out west that's spankin' new," Pietro said with a grin. "And while I've never been there, I can see it clear as day! If you want, I bet you, you could see it, too.
Peter has always had a particular question on his mind, that he always knew the answer to.
Then why haven't you gone? What's stopping you?
But, as always, Peter kept his mouth shut. He didn't want Wanda and Pietro to leave, as dumb as it may be. They were the only family he had left. Well, that he knew of and that knew of him.
Erik was another person he'd address when he had the courage.
But not...
Not now.
"Close your eyes."
Peter looked at his brother again, who was staring back at him. Honestly, he was waiting for his brother to snap in his face and use what became his favorite phrase after a few movie nights: "Hello, McFly?"
"Come with me, where it's clean and green and pretty, and they went and made a city out of clay."
Clay? A city out of clay? That sounds... odd. Peter hasn't stayed too long in other parts of the world, opting to stick to the Northeast area of the U.S. Occasionally, he'll go further South or a little bit further West. But never past Kansas.
"Why, the minute that you get there, folks will walk right up and say,
'Welcome home, son. Welcome home to Santa Fe!'"
Being called son was something the Maximoff boys wanted more than they would ever elude to. Their father? Out of the picture for the most part, up until they realized he was a terrorist. And he didn't even know about Peter.
Of course, the townsfolk of Santa Fe may not call you "son" as soon as you land on the premise. But, two bastard sons can dream, can't they?
"Planting crops. Splitting rails. Swapping tales around the fire," Pietro's grin grew as he spoke. He really thought about this a lot, didn't he? "Except for Sunday when you lie around all day."
Peter didn't know how much Pietro truly thought about leaving. Pietro's mind was full of places to go and see, places where he could take his family and live without having to deal with attacks from the U.S. government.
Santa Fe was where they'd go next in the U.S., but Sokovia was certainly the next best option. The U.S. government wouldn't come looking for them in Sokovia.
Right?
"Soon your friends are more like family, and they're begging you to stay! Isn't that neat?" Pietro asked as Peter took a large sip from his beer. "Living sweet in Santa Fe."
Pietro trailed off, almost in a dream-like state, making Peter flinch. He really fucking wanted out, huh?
"Hey, no one worries about a bad leg in Santa Fe. You just hop on a palomino, you'll ride in style!" Pietro joked, knocking his shoulder into his brother's.
"Feature me, ridin' in style," Peter giggled, taking a swig of his beer again.
"Hey, I bet a few months of clean air, you could toss that crutch for good!"
"Santa Fe," Peter and Pietro mumbled in unison, one happy and the other more tired. "You can bet, we won't let those bastards beat us. We won't beg anyone to treat us fair and square. There's a life that's worth the living, and I'm gonna do my share."
"Work the land, chase the sun." Pietro ran his hands through his hair, standing up.
"Swim the whole Rio Grande just for fun!" Pietro and Peter shouted together. The two had massive grins spreading across their faces, just happy to see the other smiling.
"Watch me stand!" Peter stood up quickly, only to feel a sharp pain jolt through his bad leg. His hands flew to the balcony railing, gripping it tightly as he let out a choked noise of pain.
"Watch me run..."
Pietro frowned when he saw his brother's grimace, watching Peter set himself down into a sitting position. The poor kid was gritting his teeth and sucking in harsh breaths as he set himself down.
"Hey, hey..." Pietro began softly, sitting down beside his brother before slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you know that we're a family?"
Peter's eyes met Pietro's, painting over his grimace with a weak grin. "Yeah, b--"
"Would I let you down?" Pietro asked.
Peter let out a weak laugh as his brother continued.
"No way. Just hold on, kid, until that train makes Santa Fe."
The younger speedster let out a yawn, leaning his head on his brother's shoulder.
"Let's get you to bed, okay?" Pietro said, only getting a nod from Peter.
Pietro scooped his younger brother up in his arms, speeding through the mansion into Peter's room before setting him down.
"Good night, Peter."
"Good night, Pietro."
Pietro sped out of Peter's room, only to be stopped when he passed Wanda's room. His sleepy twin gave him a look, one that he didn't see often, and it concerned him.
"Pietro, we're being called to Sokovia," Wanda whispered sleepily.
"What? Why? All three of us?"
"No. Peter needs to stay here. He's got a broken leg, Pietro. Just you and I."
Pietro took in a quick breath before nodding.
"When do we leave?"
"... you didn't see that coming..."
A/N: Haha, cliffhangers are fun, ain't they? Okay, but, here's what you have for now! The other one is already in my drafts, and I've got plans for that! So, I'll get all that shit out, and we'll be good! I've got so much shit in my drafts, holy shit. Okay, uh... I don't have much to say, so thank you for reading! I don't necessarily have a tag list for this sort of stuff, so if you want to be on a tag list, let me know! And please let me know if you find a typo or something that doesn't make sense. Like I said, there's minimal editing.
#septic's stories#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#peter maximoff#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#marvel fanfiction#x-men fanfiction#marvel#x-men
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A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 114) "Suck My Metaphysical DICK!"
Practice had ran long and late the night before with Casie eventually being carried to her bed as many patient joints and blunts were finally fired up. Giving So Am I a break, they goofed around with a couple different songs and chords. Mod and Colson finally being coaxed into treating everyone to their playful version of SummerTime.
---------------------------------------------------
With the next day starting, they're back to practicing. Luna choosing Colson, Sam and Baze to debut the new song with her. Mod proceeds to film The Movie that he had started last night of their creative process. Deanna continues to work on Casie's dresses as the younger Baker plays outside with her friends; calling her in as needed to her delight. Pete, Benny, Rook, Kevin and Slim float around the house playing video and arcade games, pool and popping into practice to offer tips or fresh beers.
"Alright, I'm done." Luna declares as she accepts a beer from Rook and rubs the back of her neck. "I think this is the most I've ever practiced a song. We either nail it or we don't." She says as a matter of fact before she takes a gulp of her beer. "What do you think?" She asks, looking over at Colson.
"We got this shit, Baby." He answers, giving her a confident nod with a soul melting wink.
"Bet." She smiles at him teasingly. "Sammy? Baze?" Luna looks over to her other bandmate's nodding heads. "That's it." She calls as she lifts her guitar over her head to the other's relief. "You think we can get a jet from Sean? It'll make tonight a WHOLE lot easier for us and Deanna" Asking as she turns back to Colson.
"You got a better chance than I do." He snorts at the idea.
"That's probably true." Luna sighs. "I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and hit him up." She goes on to tell Colson before kissing his cheek and grabbing her stuff to head outside.
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"Hey!" Luna perks up as Sean answers the phone.
"And to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Smith?" Diddy laughs at her, cutting right to the chase.
"We're performing on GMA tomorrow morning. I was hoping you had a jet in LA that we could use to get to NY tonight." Luna answers, knowing he appreciates no bullshit.
"You and Colson are on GMA tomorrow morning?" He responds in amazement.
"Shit, Sean. You sound like I do with my career!" Luna laughs at his reaction.
"Nah, nah... I knew they were looken' to book y'all, I just didn't know it had happened this quick." He answers, trying to cover his ass.
"A happy Sean means Yes to a jet, right?" Luna coaxes out the answer she wants.
"Yeah, yeah. What time you need it?" He asks as his mind starts running a hundred other ideas.
"I don't know... 5Pish?" Luna prepares to negotiate.
"No problem. I'll have it up and ready for you. Yo! Tell The Kid I said Congratulations. You two break a fucking leg. I'll be watching." Sean tells Luna.
"Thanks. I'll let him know... And thank you again for the jet. It'll be so much easier with all of our shit." She goes on to finish up the conversation to his No Problems and more Congratulations.
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"We got a jet, MOTHERFUCKERSSSS!" Luna shouts with a laugh. "We just gotta be at the hanger by 5P." She goes on to inform The Gang.
As Luna and Colson head up the stairs to shower, they can hear Sam shouting for everyone to remember to grab their boards; she has a line on a party tonight that she doesn't wanna miss. Besides, no true native drives in NYC. They walk, bike, ride the subway or hail a cab. It's only the cool kids that grind their way through the Five Burroughs.
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"Sean wanted me to tell you he's proud of you." Luna says to Colson as she pulls her tank top off.
"Really?" His chin cocks in her direction as he reaches into the shower to adjust the water temperature.
"Mmhmm." Luna purrs as she steps out of her black panties; catching Colson's eyes on her as she looks up.
"Fuck, you're hot." He pants as he wraps his long arms around her tiny, naked waist before sliding his two large hands up her body to cradle her head with them and kiss her deeply.
Luna can't resist Colson. There is no allowing him to consume her being, it just happens. Connecting so incredibly easily and naturally on not just a physical, mental and emotional level but out of the insane, unquenchable necessity they have for the other. The way Colson and Luna love each other is beyond intense.
Proving so as he lifts her up onto the countertop without their mouths separating for longer than a second. Kissing each other hungrily as he slides between her bare thighs and their hands roam each other's naked, tattooed bodies. Colson sucks on Luna's neck as she wraps her legs around his waist and works him into her slowly. She gasps in pleasure as he moans during their way towards her back wall. Once he's fully in, Luna loosens up a bit as her soaked pussy engulfs him.
"Fuck, you're so TIGHT." Colson's breath tickles her ear and neck as his words directly entice her pussy into all of his Bad Things.
Grabbing her ass, he pulls her hair with his other hand. Groaning as her walls clench tighter around him, loving his assertive actions. Syncing together roughly as they both cum on the bathroom countertop.
"FUCK." Colson sighs as he kisses Luna's right temple.
"Shower?" She asks while still catching her own breath.
"Yeah... " Colson breathes out.
They rest in each other's hold for a few more moments. Enjoying the quietness of the bathroom and each other's breathing. With their chaotic lives, Colson and Luna have a tendency to hoard every stolen moment between them.
Finally they get into the steady running shower. Fucking it out again. Taking in every piece of each other before stepping out. Carrying on with their usual routine of drugs, kisses and jokes as they dress for their evening flight.
"I fucking love you." Colson slams his hand onto Luna's ass cheek with authority.
"You fucking better." She laughs as she checks her face before turning around to throw her arms around him and firmly kiss his agreeing grin.
---------------------------------------------------
"You know I don't ever know where I'm going." Colson tells Emma with a chuckle as he hands her Casie's bags. "We're headed to NY tonight and then I think LA but I don't know for how long until the wedding. Hit up Ash, she'll know." He advises Casie's mother of his schedule.
"YEAH... I know." Emma replies with an engrained eyeroll.
"GIVE IT TO ME, PEANUT!!" Colson shouts for his daughter as he squats down and she sprints into his open arms. "Love you!!" He declares as he attacks her with a million kisses.
"DAAAD!!" Casie squeals in laughter as she hugs and tries to wiggle away from her father all at the same time.
"Alright, alright... " He agrees after planting another loud kiss onto her cheek before letting her go.
"He's such a neeerd." Casie whispers into Luna's ear as they hug each other GoodBye.
"Yeeeeah... But he's a good nerd." Luna kisses Casie's cheek. "See you in a few?" Luna asks as she pulls back.
"Yup." Casie grins at her.
"Love you, Dill." Luna holds the young girl in for another tight hug.
"Love you, Looney." Casie replies as she squeezes her back.
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The flight to NY is rowdy as fuck. During the 6hr flight, Colson, Luna, Sam, Baze, Rook, Slim, Mod, Benny, Pete and Kev get FUCKED up. Making up Ten of Them. Except Deanna, she's only along for the flight... And to watch the many antics. Smoking blunt after blunt. Pouring drink after drink. While also snorting more than a few things along the way. The trip itself could be a whole ass Hunter S. Thompson Movie.
Luna and Colson dip out to fuck each other in the bathroom. They've already joined the mile high club together but there's something about making your girlfriend coo your name as she cums for you in the air. Especially on your Boss's private plane.
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"Listen... I only got a few things so far." Luna tries to prepare The Gang as she unlocks The Brownstone's front door.
Flipping on the light, the house is clean but bare. Over to the right is the only object on the ground floor. It's a drum kit.
"Is that for ME!" Rook shouts out in disbelief to Luna's happy grin.
Fuck everything else. Rook pulls his sticks out of his back pocket and begins to pound. Providing the soundtrack to their home as the rest of them run eagerly through their new spot. Some, Baze and Slim, check to see if anyone caused any damage during The Break In. They did not.
"YO!! WHERE THE FUCK YOU COP THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!?!" Slim shouts down the stairwell to Luna.
"He finally found his room." Colson laughs as he holds onto Luna and she snuggles into his warm scent.
They all have beds. In each of their rooms. Nothing else because they can decorate it themselves but there are king sized beds in each room with dark sheets and neon green double Xs on them.
Colson reaches his long leg over to kick the door shut. Catching a deviously inviting smile from Luna he eagerly devours her body. Breaking their new bed in with his mouth and oversized cock.
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"Nah... We're goin' under Sutter Bridge where those old half pipes are... " Nipple tries to explain to Luna where they're headed for the night.
They're all sitting along their stoop. All Ten of Them plus now Nipple and his girlfriend Carrie. Preparing to make their way into the NYC night.
"Oh!" Luna sucks her teeth. "You're talking about the old wooden half pipes!" She exclaims once she realizes where he's describing. "Okay, yeah, I know where that's at... What are we doin'? We ready ride?" She asks as she tosses her hands up.
Nipple nods and Luna goes to find Colson. He's in the kitchen but is immediately up for an adventure. With her school bag packed, boards in everyone's hands and the front door locked; The Terrible Twelve, along with Nipple and Carrie, slip in with the NYC air. Boards and hair flowing like the wind.
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There are many different kinds of parties you can find around The World. Each country or continent offering it's own type of vibe and experience. New York has no ONE vibe. Every location is different. Every party is unique. Every experience is it's own.
As the Terrible Twelve, plus Nipple and Carrie, roll over the worn down road they can hear the blasts of decks slamming, music blaring and laughter floating. Nipple's ahead of them all with Carrie close to his side. Sam follows behind as she leads Baze. Catching the feeling of home, Luna grabs Colson's hand as she plants both feet on her board and guides them into Her World.
Underneath the bridge looks like a mix of 90s nostalgia, the 70s drug scene and the repercussions of the early 2000s. Flowing together with plywood and spray paint. There's dozens of people Luna hasn't seen for months. Kicking her deck up, she grins at Colson while keeping their hands tight. Floating into exactly where she's missed.
"YO!! WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN GIRL!?!" Luna's friend Darnell shouts the main question of the night as he grips her into a tight hug.
"I've been falling in love." Luna smiles modestly as she introduces him to Colson.
Colson and Darnell hit it off immediately. Along with everyone else who Luna introduces to Colson. This relieves a huge weight off of Luna's soul. These are her people. Justin's people. Although Luna may not care what people think, their feelings are still important to her.
After introductions, Luna and Colson rip it apart on one of the many homemade half pipes. Grinning and busting each other's balls as they fly passed each other. Catching up with one another on the same lip, they ride down to grab a drink.
"I hate that you're so fucking cool." Colson teases her, finding more comfort under an abandoned bridge than in a multi million dollar club.
"No you don't." Luna grins as she cracks him a can of PBR and stands on her tippy toes to kiss him.
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"Yo... Where the fuck you been?" Carrie asks Luna as she lays on Sam and Sam lays on Luna; all three comfortably taking up more than half of the graffitied boards to themselves.
"I don't know... " Luna answers by waving her hands around. "I've just been doing things."
"Yeeeeah" Carrie laughs. "We hear you. It's kinda fucking weird, Dude."
"Is it bad weird?" Luna asks in a moment of uncertainty.
"No. Just weird. I can't describe it... I've been listening to you for YEARS, Loons. Both live and recorded. I guess it's just weird to have you pop up on a Spotify playlist is all... " Carrie trails, regretting saying anything at all.
"I'm on fucking Spotify?" Luna asks in horror.
Normal people would celebrate this achievement. Luna. Luna wants to climb into a kangaroo pouch and never emerge. Fame is a Monster that Stephanie described and Luna wants no parts of. But it's here, whether she wants it to be or not.
"Are you fucking serious?" Carrie laughs at her. "You can't be THAT naive. You've got three songs trending and you're about to marry MGK... Not that he's Channing or anything but he's definitely hot and you're way more out there than you've ever been... You don't know this?" Carrie scoffs in slight jealousy of Luna's resistance.
"What the FUUUUUCK... " Luna doesn't respond, just let's the rumble of the boards next to her vibrate her soul from underneath.
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Later, Luna finds herself sitting with Pete and Kevin on the lip of the old half pipe, sharing a joint along with a 40 of Old E. They're not fancy and they don't pretend to be. Sam's on the other half pipe with Mod and Carrie still grinding while Colson, AJ, Baze and Slim bust it up with Nipple as Rook and Benny talk to a group of girls. Luna can see them all as her happy feet swing free.
"I gotta ask you something." The tone in Pete's voice changes the air around them.
"What's up, Petey?" Luna asks, expecting ANYTHING except for what he's about to say.
"You didn't cheat on Colson, did you?" He questions her with hesitation.
"WHAT? NO. Why the fuck would you ask me something like that?" Luna immediately jerks her head towards her old friend.
"A thing he said." Pete admits, secretly regretting his question immediately but Luna is one of his bestfriends so he had to.
"What the FUCK did he say? Don't fucking play with me either, Petey." Luna threatens as she feels her soul drop through her already drunk belly.
"You remember the night you caught that late flight back from seeing Jackson?" Pete sighs to Luna's searing nod before he continues to elaborate. "Kells said something to the effect that it wouldn't be the first time you cheated. What was he talking about, Loons?"
"He fucking told?" Luna's heart breaks as it catches what Pete is saying to her. "I can't believe he would do that to me." Luna can feel her face heat up as her heart begins to race.
"He was talking about shit that doesn't concern him or you. ACTUALLY. But if you MUST know, I had an affair back in 2013. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go handle my fucking business." Luna's words are curt towards him before she slides down the half pipe.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"WAIT... 2013? That means she cheated on Justin?" Pete is so confused as he watches Luna stand up and hone in on Colson. "FUCK. What did I just start." He worries as he grabs Kevin and slides down to follow behind Luna.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Luna marches straight up to Colson and snatches his up by the arm. Dragging him away from whomever to a secluded corner under the bridge. Standing in the dark she stares up at his confused face.
"Who else did you tell about my affair with Tommy?" She asks him directly with a quiver in her angry voice.
"What?" He automatically responds after being caught off guard by the question.
"Don't lie to me Colson." Luna warns in a low voice.
"I... I didn't tell anyone really but Slim figured it out after our fight over that article." Colson admits with hesitation as he watches tears begin to drop down Luna's cheeks.
"Then what the fuck is Petey talking about?" She continues to question him.
"MOTHERFUCKER. I told him not to say shit." Colson's brain sets on fire.
"I didn't tell him anything Loons but something obviously slipped. I'm sorry." Colson apologizes as he goes to reach for her.
"No." She states as she jerks away from him. "That's not okay." She's full on crying now as the anger starts to boil. "That's not okay AT FUCKING ALL!" She finally snaps. Drawing her right fist back, she catches him on the bottom of the LeftSide of his chin. It's hard enough of a blow to knock him out of their conversation but causes no physical damage. Colson grabs his jaw in shock but not pain. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" Luna screams at Colson as she shoves him with all of her force. "IT WASN'T YOURS TO FUCKING TELL!" She continues to scream through her tears while shoving him again.
"I'M SORRY!!" He yells back at her, grabbing her by the arms to catch his drunken balance.
"Get the FUCK off of me." She snarls before kicking him hard in his shin.
"AHHHHH!!!" Colson cries out in pain as he collapses to the ground and grabs his injury.
"I DECIDE WHO I TELL ABOUT MY SHIT!! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT DOESN'T EFFECT YOU!!" She's shouting again as her head viscously snakes around and hands fly like hummingbirds. "SO FUCKING WHAT!?! I DID HAVE A FUCKING AFFAIR... AND I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON IT SHOULD MATTER TO IS DEAD... You and everyone else can SUCK MY METAPHYSICAL DICK!" She screams to anyone and no one at the same time. It's been said before, Luna does not lie. "You ran your mouth on me... " She let's out with a tear drenched gasp. "I have way bigger shit than this... How can I ever trust you... Let alone fucking marry you?" Luna sighs out with a sad coldness as she looks down at him and shakes her head in disgust before walking away. Grabbing her bag and board before she disappears into the night.
The Bridge is not bothered by Luna and Colson. Only their personal entourage is truly watching what had happened. Slim walks over to Colson who's still laying on the ground. Her words strike him like lightning, stopping his heart and soul. Most of the time he knows when and when not to fight with Luna. Right now, he doesn't know what to do. Choosing not to say a word; he just lays there watching His Girl angrily stalk away from him as Sam and Carrie rush to catch up to her.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"They are ALWAYS going through some type of bullshit." Their friends think collectively. Except for Pete; he's confused and pissed but not sure at who.
---------------------------------------------------
It begins to pour as Luna drops her deck. Feeling the warm summer rain pelt her skin, she pushes off of the asphalt. Choosing to glide on the street's edge as she ignores Sam's calls from behind her. Losing her and Carrie without a second's thought.
"I can't believe he did that." Luna's heart growing weak with betrayal. Thinking of how Justin never knew about Tommy because he never asked. Shoving her foot hard onto the rainy street, she can't help but bawl as she pushes out her frustration, sadness and guilt.
"All you would've had to do was FUCKING notice and I would've told you!" Luna screams into the NYC streets as the rain drenches her soul.
#mgk#mgk fanfic#mgk imagine#mgk smut#colson baker#colson baker imagines#colson baker fanfic#colson baker smut#machine gun kelly fanfic#machine gun kelly smut#machine gun kelly#fighting#not safe for minors#not safe for tumblr#no filter#lunatic#longstory#long post#long reads#wattpad#series#smutwarning#mgk fluff#fangirl#fanfic#fandom#fantasy#est4life#est19xx#est
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Chapter 24
Eric
"Mornin'," I mumbled to Deja as I walked into the shop with all of my equipment in my Nike duffle bag.
"Good morning. Issa fresh pot of coffee in the lounge if you need it." she said sweetly and I nodded, going about my business after mumbling a quick 'thank you' with a forced smile.
I wasn't in the mood to crack jokes or sip dirt, I just wanted to take care of my clients for today and head the fuck home.
After the week I've had, offing myself seemed to be the only solution out of it. But, I knew that would make for more problems concerning my loved ones.
I laid out all of my equipment neatly across my desk and mumbled along to Jaded while tryna get this day started. I had all my hair growing out, my weight going up and down, I ain't have the desire to eat no more, and shit just stopped making sense.
I checked out all the boxes on Robyn's checklist, I was the perfect nigga for her. She glowed up through me, man. I wasn't tryna force her into anything, our relationship was so organic, I felt like I was walking on glass to fuckin' please her while she kept breaking mirrors in the meantime, playing hard to get for no fuckin' reason. I mean, I know you been hurt the last three times but I wanted to be her testimony, I wanted to be that E Harmony commercial for her, I wanted to be set apart from those niggas but instead, she placed me right in the box, adjacent to all them fuck niggas.
"Hey, Toby just called and asked to reschedule ya'lls session. Tomorrow night cool?" Deja poked her head into my office and I nodded.
Sighing heavily, I tossed my tattoo gun back on my desk and sunk into my chair. The only shot I had at clearing my mind of this fuck shit was put on hold. I loved what I did, especially when I was going through something, making others feel joy that I could never obtain is what it was all about for me. This girl really got my head fucked up.
After Dej hung up with my client, she came back in and hopped on my chair, across from me and started examining my face. I turned away from her before she could notice anything and dug into my bag for my bottle of Henny. "Ricky." she spun me around and sighed, taking the bottle out of my hands.
"Please talk to me, if it's about what I said the other night-" I put my finger to her lips and mushed her face back. "You 'bout close as shit, ain't you?" I chuckled lowly and she gave me a smile filled with hope.
My happiness was always top on her list. I loved the shit out her gay ass, bro. Forever and always, ever since tenth grade. "Nah, yo carpet munchin' ass ain't got shit to do with this."
"Bitch," she slapped my hand away with a small laugh, and got serious shortly after.
"I'm worried about you, E."
"Don't worry about me, Deja. I'll bounce back."
"Not if you keep tryna handle this by yourself." I twisted my curls with one hand and laid back and let her words sink in.
"I ain't got nobody else. I know I always got you, D. But, reporting shit to you over and over get old."
"I'm willing to listen. You're self-destructing by the week. Each time I see you, it's worse. Talk."
"You know the situation with shawty."
"I do. I also know that you've never been going through such a drought over a girl. That's usually my role."
"How you and Shellz?" I asked and she sucked her teeth. "Fuck how me and her are doing. I don't care about that right now. All I know is that if I lose you, bro-"
"You not gon' lose me, Deja. You and my fam always gon' run through my mind before I think about doing some selfish shit." I kicked her softly when she got to getting teary eyed.
"You hear me?" I asked, still looking up at the ceiling. If I look at D when she crying, I was bound to start crying with her ugly ass. "Yeah," she sniffled and wiped her eyes gently so she wouldn't mess up her beat. "back to you and Robyn."
"Yeah, I loved her, still got love for her. I thought we had something real. I ain't classify her like a basic ass Memphis hoe. I'm hurtin' hard." I said truthfully. It finally felt like someone was removing the bricks from off my chest, one by one.
“I did all this shit just for her to gon' and get pregnant by a nigga she told me ain't built for love, ain't sensitive enough towards her." I wiped my eyes and shook my head.
"I'm sorry, E. Come here." she pulled me up and reeled me into her arms just as I finally let my tears fall. "The one time I let my guard down and try this love shit again, man. She gotta fuckin' baby on the way." I sobbed loudly and hugged Deja back.
"She tellin' me all this bullshit about her exes, for what? Making me wait for what? Defending her fuckin' honor for what? Bitch had me lookin' crazy, thinking I was about to start a family with her. I'm happy as all fuck, screaming out my car window on interstates, spreading fake ass news to strangers, thinking of baby names. Nigga, for what!?"
Deja consoled me calmly and wiped my tears which was all cool but, Robyn still fuckin' played me. Played the shit outta me and had me convinced that I was gon' be the nigga to heal her from all the wrong her exes did. I guided her in that direction of her self-worth and she started feelin' herself, treating me like I wasn't the one in corner from the minute her pretty ass walked into my shop. Two days fresh off the plane from NYC.
"Not like it's being brought up or anything, but you know that I'm always gunna be loyal to family, right? Not saying that my friendship with shawty is done because that's sis, but, I'll always be here for you. Whenever." I nodded.
"Now stop all this fuckin' crying before your chocolate ass melt in here, Tyrese." She said and I laughed so fuckin' loud, bro. I was so relieved to have a real one on speed-dial.
"It's still fuckin' with me though, cuz. We grown as fuck, how she still making these baby ass mistakes?"
"You see the way she looks at dude?" Dej asked and I shrugged.
"She loves the fuck outta that rollercoaster of a nigga. Sometimes when you go through hell with someone, you always gon' be curious to know if you ever gon' make it out that bitch with the same person. I'll personally let Shelby's ass burn but this ain't about me. Ya'll just wasn't the ones for one another and you gotta accept that,"
"I'ma try, dawg. This shit is still so fresh."
Robyn
After hearing a slight noise coming from downstairs, that turned out to be nothing, I've been trying to fall back into my deep slumber but I just couldn't. My baby and I were wide awake, frustrated, and hungry as fuck. I trotted downstairs and turned all of the lights on and went to search for something to eat but, my only options were; ice, mayonnaise, and wheat bread. I groaned aloud and hopped on the counter.
Every place that delivered was closed and I wasn't about to cook at four in the damn morning. I shot a few text messages to Deja, Winter, and Odell and finally gave up on their bum asses when ten minutes went by without replies. I'ma remember this shit when they need me to sew some shit up for them.
I blew air out of my cheeks and went teary-eyed, scrolling through my contacts for some hope. As if I wasn't emotional enough, this pregnancy turned out to make me more of a crybaby than I used to be. Jaylen's new nickname for me was Bubbles, shawty from the Powerpuff Girls.
It fucked me up because I couldn't even fight about it, she was my favorite one. I smiled as I thought about all the hell I put him through, he was still my best friend. The fact that I was about to co-parent with his extra ass always put a smile on my face. We're gunna be bomb ass parents.
I finally shrugged and just decided to call him, I always try to give him his space and not call him first and since he lives about a half hour away, but he always comes to my rescue, even if I do call him last.
"Robyn, the world better be on fuckin' fire, my baby better had climbed out ya walls, or you dead, my nigga. What. the. fuck. could you possibly want at four-thirty in the bitch ass morning?" He groaned in his sleepy voice. I involuntary blushed at the sound of his voice and played with the ends of my hair nervously.
"I'm hungry as fuck, Lenny." he sighed loudly and shuffled around.
"Go cook some shit, Rob, a nigga in here sleep. I just got in the crib like two hours ago."
"I haven't went shopping. I'm barely here."
"Pull up. I got some shit you could cook."
"I'm scared. You know I don't drive at night. Pleaseeee?" He got silent for a second until I heard his light snores in my ear. I sucked my teeth and yelled his name.
"You always have been long-winded as shit. Yo boring ass put me right back to sleep."
"Jay!" I whined and he cursed lowly under his breath.
"You at least have an idea of where you wanna go?"
"No." I mumbled sheepishly. "You choose."
"I AIN'T THE ONE THAT'S FUCKIN' HUNGRY!" He half-yelled and I started to apologize to him through sobs. "Aight, I accept ya apology man. Damn, this pregnancy makin' you act so fuckin' lightskin. I'm coming."
"Thank you." I smiled and wiped my wet face. "Your brat ass already knew I was gon' end up cavin' anyway."
"No." I mumbled while shaking my head yes. Not even on some manipulative shit, Jaylen has been giving me whatever it is that my heart desired. It was all mostly food. "Whatever liar. Gimme twenty minutes. Stay up!"
"Okay." he hung up and I smiled, hopping off the counter and going to lay on the couch while watching Dexter's Laboratory.
*****
I finally decided on Waffle House and took it to-go. It was too cold in there. Jaylen and I just sat in his car and ate with my playlist playing from his Bluetooth.
"Thank you." I grinned while adding sugar to my grits, looking over at him batting my eyelashes. He rolled his eyes and looked at my stomach. "Anything for ya'll, man." I laughed loudly and he smirked at how obnoxious and random it was.
"Why you laughing like that, nigga?"
"Remember the night I only wanted the milk from the Fruity Pebbles and I made you eat-" the more I told the story, the harder I began to laugh.
"Hell yeah, I remember that fuck shit. I can't wait till this shit over and you have my next three babies, I ain't gotta do shit else."
"Bye. No more babies for me." I shook my head and ate my breakfast. I could feel his eyes on me as the car went silent, and I tried my hardest to ignore it. His stares were so intense. Eye contact was a big thing for him; during conversations, sex, even arguments. That's what made me fall for him in the first place, his beautiful ass eyes.
"Is it good?" he finally said and I nodded while snapping my fingers to the throwback Monica song playing. "Want some?" I asked and he nodded. I opened another plastic fork and handed it to him.
We ate together and cracked some more jokes until dawn, I forgot how stressed I've been this week and he was wide awake now as we drove through Memphis, singing along to our favorite songs. His ass never told anyone but he was actually an amazing singer.
I stared at him with so much love in my eyes and he looked over for a split second and started rubbing my stomach. "You good?"
"Yeah. I just-, I'm-"
"Man, I love yo ass more, Rob. Issa big ass elephant in the room everytime we together. Sometimes I be up at night, thinking about you and how much I fuckin' love you. I'm cool right now without the relationship. At least I got you as my Ace. Still my homie, my ride or die."
"Same. You don't miss it though?"
"We toxic. Of course I miss yo kisses and yo fuck game but I ain't with all the extra stress and pressure of tryna be the perfect man right now. I just wanna be the perfect father and yo perfect support system. I don't wanna break your heart again."
I nodded. "I finally know what it feels like to be on the other side of that." I sighed.
"Whatchu mean?"
"Eric."
"Shit, I would've been threw myself off the Hernando Bridge if I was THAT nigga." he smirked. "Nigga lost the best bond ever. Issa W for me, he gotta gon' and transfer that L from Meek Mill's checking." We laughed loudly.
"Stop, I'm going to Hell for laughing." I mumbled, holding my stomach.
"For real. I couldn't imagine being around you everyday, thinking I'm about to start a family with you, only to have it all be a fuckin' pipe dream. Trust me, shit ain't easy tryna live without you. Dreams with you in them don't make reality no easier. Had my hoe ass crying with my pillow, listening to One Wish on full blast every night."
"I'm not the shit like that." I flipped my hair playfully and smiled.
"You is. We all got growing up to do as young adults, but when that glo up hit you and you out here handling shit like a boss. Can't no bitch touch you. Ain't nobody touching you now, I won't let them."
"I love you, Jay Bear." I pecked his cheek repeatedly until he turned his head and snuck a kiss from my lips. I gasped and hit him softly.
"You actin' like you ain't never kiss me before. Like you ain't never taste yaself off these lips. Calm down."
I blushed and sunk into my seat, finishing off my food. "We done, Dora the fuckin' Explorer? Can I go to sleep now? It's almost seven." he yawned and I yawned after him.
“Yeah."
"You sleepin' over, I'm not driving all the way back to East Cutty Bum Fuck right now." I smirked and nodded as he started to drive back to his place.
I fell asleep on his king-sized bed with his big ass dog, Zeus at my feet and he fell asleep on the futon right across from the bed just in case anything happened. Time was healing us and I was content with where I stood with him, a place that I thought I'd never see us standing in. Ya'll know I used to hate his mean ass at the beginning of our journey.
**
I scratched my head as I looked at all of the mess in this house from unpacking. Jaylen wasn’t here right now, so I decided to do him a favor and clean because I didn’t mind.
Making sure that all the boxes were empty before I threw them out, I came across a couple of pictures of the both of us. Pictures that I didn’t even remember taking. The fact that he still has them made me smile wide. Jaylen still cares.
I pulled my phone out, taking a picture of them and sending them to Jaylen.
what you doing with these 🧐 3:37 pm
why you in my shit nigga 3:38 pm
I was cleaning 3:39 pm
you da best 4 that 🏼 just don’t hurt yourself mama & you know how we rockin even when we not rockin. feel me? 3:41 pm
I laughed to myself, tossing my phone on the couch. I wanted to ask him where he was, but I decided to keep cleaning. Jaylen unpacked everything and moved all the new furniture in, but nothing was organized.
To set the mood, I lit up a few candles and turned on some music so time could go by faster.
It was getting mighty toasty in here so I put my hair up in a bun and went to go change in a comfortable maxi dress. Now I was ready to clean.
Between singing along to Whitney’s untouchable vocals, cleaning and organizing every room in this house, I definitely worked up a sweat. When I was done, I smiled at my hard work and grabbed a water bottle before sitting down on the couch and turning on Power. Jaylen was gonna be mad that I started watching it without him, but I’ve been dying to watch it.
“Robby!” I heard Jayla’s voice come from behind me. I turned around to see her running up to the couch. Jayla was just the sweetest little bundle of joy.
“Hey pretty girl! I missed you! What you been up to?” I smiled at her as I sat her down on my lap.
“I made you a bracelet! Look!” She pulled out a beaded bracelet from her pocket with my favorite colors on it. The fact that she remembered was really special to me.
“Jayla girl.. This is cayuuuuuuute! I love it, thank you! I’m never taking it off.”
“Pinky promise?” I laughed, wrapping my pinky around hers as she nodded.
“Man Jayla love the fuck outta you, she ain’t ever made me no bracelet. I’m lowkey jealous.”
“I adore her so much. Your dad ha-“ I stood up and turned around only to be looking at Jaylen and his father. I froze, because I never thought I’d be meeting his dad. Especially now. Jaylen wasn’t his father’s twin but they had similar features. His dad was really handsome though.
“Hi, Mr. Waters-“ I started to say as I held my hand out for him to shake. He paid my hand no mind, pulling me into a warm hug instead. God, his hugs reminded me of my dad’s hugs so much that I had to pull away immediately.
“Call me Jayceon, we family now.” He smiled at me genuinely.
“Nice to meet you Jayceon. I’m Robyn.”
“Oh yea I know, Jayla and this nigga right here don’t ever stop talking about you. This dude always in my ear telling me about how much you mean to h-“
“Aight, that’s enough talking for you old man.” I chuckled to myself, blushing. I was gonna have to pull his dad to the side later on and get him to spill some more tea.
“I gotchu later on Ms. Robyn. Just let me know.” He said referring to the tea he was just spilling. I laughed and nodded as I made my way into the kitchen to prepare some food since more people were here. I heard Boo’d Up playing from my phone and I had to start singing it. This was Jaylen’s song.
“Feeeeeeling! All ova my bodaaaaay!” I sang out loud as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I would move them, but I was too into this damn song.
“You know how I like itttttt, ain’t gotta tell you what to do.” Jaylen sang in my ear as he rocked us from side to side. I had to snap out of it and stop singing, because it was getting hot in here.
While I stopped, I turned around only to have Jaylen still singing to me. I looked away, because I didn’t wanna smile. My eyes landed on Jayla who was standing there recording us on Jaylen’s phone.
“Cuties!” She ran away with Jaylen’s phone. My mouth formed in the shape of an O.
“How does Jayla know how to record?”
“My nigga 8, she ain’t 8 months.” I put my hand up pretending to back hand him, and he flinched making me laugh. Dude had a smart ass mouth. I bet his mouth got him in hella trouble at school.
“You lucky you pregnant, I’ll tackle yo ass.” I waved him off.
“How many times you got in trouble at school for that mouth of yours?”
“Boy, ion’ even know.”
“Damn shame.”
“My mama told me to speak the fuck up and never hold my tongue for a muhfucka and I’m glad she did. I got a voice, so ima use it.” He had a point, but he didn’t use his voice for the right reasons sometimes.
“Yea and she’s right, but you’re disrespectful with it sometimes.”
“Damn nigga, is you my therapist? I checked outta the center months ago.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“See!”
“I’m deadass. Tryna tell a nigga bout himself and shit. You just like my mama Robyn, I swear to God.” He snaked his arm around my shoulder.
“Is that good or bad?”
“Shit is different. You care for me like my mama did no matter how much shit I put you through.”
“Cause I love your stupid self.” I shrugged as he smiled.
“Y’all might as well kiss already, damn. I’m tryna watch Good Times but y’all over here acting out a scene from The Notebook.” I heard Jaylen’s dad voice causing me to jump. He made it extremely awkward for the both of us.
“Ima go shower.”
“I’m right behind you, cause this nigga mad nosey.” I laughed as his father flared at him while we both made our way to his bedroom.
“Bubba, Jassy’s calling you!” I heard Jayla say as I walked into the master bedroom that was Jaylen’s. I went straight to the bathroom because I didn’t want to hear their conversation. I guess that plan wasn’t so smart, because I could still hear her yelling from the phone all the way in here.
“Why you buggin’ like this?”
“Son, you’re out here on social media boo’d up with your fucking ex!” My eyebrows twisted up in confusion.
“Wait what? What you talking bout?”
“It’s all on ya snap dude!” I cursed to myself, because that’s probably what Jayla was recording.
“Jas, it’s not even like that.” I sighed, cutting on the shower water. This shit was already stressing me out.
I honestly didn’t even know she was his girlfriend now. I felt really bad. I guess this was gonna have to stop. Only time we need to talk is if it has something to do with our baby.
Just as I started to strip, Jaylen walked in and started looking in the pull cabinet. “Hey, could you take me home when I get out?” He turned around with a look of confusion on his face.
“Why? You bored or sumn’? I thought we wa-“
“We’re obviously getting too comfortable, and I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend. You bought this house to raise the baby in, not for us to flirt and play around in.”
“Ion’ got no girlfriend, that’s m-“
“Ok, but you’re serious with her right?” He got quiet.
“Aight, I gotchu.” He said, clenching his jaw before grabbing his bottle of pills and walking out of the bathroom. I swear, every time I felt like our relationship was moving forward and getting healthier, shit would always go wrong.
Jaylen
“Bout gotdamn time.” I sighed, putting my back up against the wall. Man we done spent the whole damn week putting all of the furniture in my new crib. I was serious about getting this house here in Memphis. Shit was nice as hell.
If I ain’t have a life out back home, I’d definitely move out here. I couldn’t wait to watch our child grow up in this home.
“This shit dope. You might as well move out the condo and stay here bro.” Odell stated, as I took in his words. I felt that, and I actually wanted to, but I would lose hella money. Almost all of my clients are in New York... but I guess if they really fuck with me, I would just have to have my work shipped. I’d have to do some big ass promoting out here though. Ion know shit bout Memphis, but the country ass rappers. They hard though.
“I’m thinking about it.. I love the city though. That’s my home.”
“I feel you, but this a big change for you. You got a new beautiful ass home in a different state, baby on the way, and who knows.. God might have bigger and better opportunities for you out here.” This nigga had a good ass point. I couldn’t argue with that shit.
“Fuck you brah.” I laughed, as he shrugged with a smirk.
“What about you, Mr.Knowitall?”
“What about me?”
“Ankle healed, you been training, season coming up, you got Winter back.. where the ring and the baby at?” He sighed, making me laugh.
“Man, you make it sound so easy. I been tryna propose to her bald headed ass but there’s never time. I can’t remember the last time we actually sat and enjoyed each other’s presence. And you already know the answer to the baby part.”
“Tell her to sit her on the go ass down some where then.” This hoe Winter was always doing some shit and always on the scene whenever she wasn’t at work.
“I do-“
“Nigga, everybody knows you don’t. You probably try, and don’t take this the wrong way but sometimes you let Winter run over you bro. You need to tell her ass wassup.” He stayed quiet, stroking his beard while nodding.
“Hit her up.. right now.”
“She bus-“ I gave him a look and he waved me off, pulling his phone out his pocket.
I watched him click on her name and put her on speaker. It rang for quite some time, and he was about to hang up until we finally heard her voice. “What is it O? I told you not to call me during this time at work. You never li-“ We both started to tune her nagging out while I gave him to look. He nodded and started to speak.
“Nah, YOU never listen. Winter I been trying to spend time with you for the longest but you never wanna hear me out and you always blowing me off for shit. Ion’ give a fuck what you got going on when you get off work. All I know is you better be at my crib at 10 AM when I get back to NY in the morning. No if’s and’s or but’s. You hearing me?” I jumped up from the couch, dapping my nigga cause he finally grew his balls back. I taught my nigga well, man.
“But O-“
“What I say?” He asked, sternly as she sighed and stayed silent for a few seconds. Had that ass shook.
“Ok, I’ll be there..” I pressed the button to hang up as O stood up to his feet popping his collar. This nigga.
“My boy.” I smirked as we did our handshake.
“Aight nigga, now go do the same shit with Rob.” My smirk immediately fell, and I pointed to the door.
“I know you fucking lied.”
“I’m deadass.”
“Ion know what you muhfuckas don’t understand about the word TOXIC. Y’all want us to kill each other? I love that girl to death, I ain’t tryna hurt her again. She look mad happy without me. She making big moves, doing big things with out me and I’m happy for her. I wanna see her happy not constantly crying over me again.”
As much as I love the fuck outta Robyn, hurting her hurt me. Ion wanna jump back into another relationship when I already know I ain’t gone do right by her. We stay at each other necks and I’m just not ready for the stress and headaches again. Plus she pregnant with my child? Man hell nah, we do not need the stress. Robyn been fucking glowing, and I’d like to keep it that way.
“I know you hurt her before, everybody make mistakes. But everybody sees the way y’all look at each other. If you love her so much like you say you do, what the fuck is so hard about keeping her happy?”
I scratched my head.
“I ain’t shit and we both know I ain’t.” I shrugged.
“Talking to you is like talking to a wall, bruh.” He shook his head as he grabbed his things so that he could go to the airport. I ain’t feel like driving at all. I guess I go to Jas’ hotel and chill there for a few. I couldn’t wait to get in her shit.
Send me the addy and room # 7:56 PM
**
“So I got some shit I gotta break down to you.” She stopped eating her ice cream cone, and folded her arms. Sighing, she sat down next to me.
“If it’s bad news, I’m really not trying to hear it. I just got fired from my job over some dumb shit, so I’m really not in the mood for bad news.” She explained, as I started thinking while stroking my goatee. It wasn’t really bad news on my end.
“Just let me tell you. Ion’ want you to have to find some shit out on your own and then you gone be mad at me saying I never told you.” She sat quiet.
“Aight, so.. you know when I told you I could possibly be a father?” She had this uneasy look on her face.
“Yea..” she mumbled, looking down at the floor. I gently grabbed her chin, and made her look at me.
“Well I am.” The eye contact we once had was gone, and she started to look at the floor again, not saying a word.
“Jaylen, I migh-..” She sighed putting her face in her palms. Just as I was about to ask her to keep going, my phone rang. I didn’t answer it, because I wanted to hear what she had to say.
“What you was saying?” I tossed my phone to the side of me. She just shook her head and stood up.
“Never mind, I’ll be in the bathroom.” I sighed, picking my phone up to see who it was that wanted me. It was just Winter, but she was gone have to wait. I wanted to know what Jas was gone say.
I got up, going towards the direction of the bathroom only to see her leaning over the sink. “You good?”
“Could you bring me my sketch pad off of the table?” Jasmine asked as she gave me an uncomfortable look. She kept saying how her body was in pain.
Leaving the bathroom, I jogged in the living room of her suite and looked on the table for her sketch pad. She had a shit load of books on the table, so I was knocking a bunch of shit over. Almost everything ended up on the floor, so I had to look for it even harder now. I ain’t sign up for this shit.
Sighing, I kept looking around for her fuck ass sketch pad until my eyes stopped at a certain group of words.
Terminated Pregnancy Report
I realized that the papers were sticking out of a Manila folder, and the more I looked through them, the more my anger started to build up. Not Jasmine..
“Hey Jaylen, never mind I fo-“ she stopped in her tracks once she seen what was in my hands.
I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed hoping that God would forgive me for what I was about to do to this girl. I prayed for him to give me some sort of knowledge to help me understand why the fuck this bitch would go behind my back and do some sick shit like this. She didn’t even tell me she was pregnant.
I plopped down on the floor, chuckling bitterly. “What the fuck is this, Jasmine?” She knew she fucked up, because she couldn’t say a damn thing.
“Man talk!” I yelled at her, getting up from my spot on the floor.
“What do you want me to say?!” She inched closer to me as she started to get teary-eyed.
“Man fuck them phony ass tears! Tell me why the fuck you would go behind my back and do some grimy shit like this! My nigga you killed not only one, but both of my fucking babies! You ain’t even let me know you was pregnant Jas, why the fuck would you do that?! Did you think about how I would feel?”
By now, tears were falling down from my face because I was fucking hurt. Twins might’ve been tough to handle right now, but I helped make them so it was only right that I help take care of them. My mama ain’t raise me to be a deadbeat. Ion even come off like that, so I’m still tryna process why Jas would do that shit.
“I-I.. I’m not ready for kids right now, Jaylen. You even said it yourself that you weren’t either.”
“So that give you the right to go and do that shit behind my fucking back?! You ain’t even tell me you was pregnant to begin with! We both was bein’ irresponsible having unprotected sex, so we was just gone have to deal with it!”
“I’m sorry, I didn-“
“Fucking murderer.” I looked at her with so much fucking disgusts. She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to grab me, but I backed away from her, looking around for my keys.
“Where are you going?”
“Delete my number, and don’t ever come by my fucking house no more.” I stormed out, slamming her room door behind me. I could hear her screaming my name as I walked off and got onto the elevator but I wasn’t trying to hear that shit.
I was done with that bitch.
Before I flew out here to sign papers for the house and move in, I was spending damn near every day with her, meaning we was fucking damn near every day. Sometimes I’d be so horny that it wouldn’t even cross my mind to use a condom. I was on and off with them bitches. That’s where I fucked up.
She started throwing up at the most random times, and I didn’t pay no mind to it, because her ass got sick real easy. I started to put two and two together and realized she could possibly be pregnant. I asked her, and she told me no so I left it at that. I thought I could trust her, but I guess not.
How could you have it in your heart to kill an innocent child like that? That shit was foul as hell, and I couldn’t even think straight. My vision was getting blurry as hell, so I hope that I could get home as safe as possible.
I tried to take my mind off of this shit and just face the music. Right on time, Drake’s lyrics hit the fuck outta me.
No one to guide me, I'm all alone
No one to cry on
I need shelter from the rain, to ease the pain
Of changing from boy to a man
As I came to a stop light, I had an incoming call from Robyn. I didn’t wanna answer at all, but something could probably be wrong with her.
“W-what you need?” I sniffled as I rubbed my eyes.
“Hey do you wan- oh my God, are you crying?” She asked, concerned. I swear I just wanted to spill every last drop of this fucking tea to Robyn, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I just wanted to go home, smoke a wood, and go to sleep and not wake up, real shit.
“What you need, Robyn? The baby good?” I sighed taking the phone off of my face, forgetting this was a damn FaceTime call.
“Yea um, I just.. wanted to know if you wanted me to come bring you a plate because I cooked your fav...” She smiled innocently, as I shook my head no.
“To be real witchu’, ion’ even got an appetite right now. Ima fuck witchu’ later though.” I hung up before she could even respond.
After Robyn called, it’s like my phone started blowing the fuck up so I just powered my shit off. It took me bout 10 more minutes to reach my crib, and I couldn’t be more relieved to be home. I did some illegal shit to get here in just 10 minutes, but fuck it. Jail is the least of my worries right now.
Going straight to my bedroom, I decided not to smoke because I was way too tired anyways and my bed and pillows were calling my damn name. Swear my head ain’t even touched the pillow for 5 seconds, and I was already asleep. I ain’t ever been so fucking tired and drained in my life.
A few minutes into my deep slumber, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I opened my eyes, only to be met with Robyn sitting down next to me in my bed.
“Man I love you so fucking much, Robyn.” I mumbled, intertwined my fingers with hers, kissing her stomach.
“I love you too Lenny, I’m always here if you need me or wanna talk.” Was all I heard her say before she kissed my forehead, and I fell right back asleep.
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fic: I've Got You on My Mind, All the Time
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~5,100
Characters: Steve/Natasha
Prompts: CEO Steve/Personal Assistant Nat au for sassaspazz + morning sex photoset by sleepygrimm + text edit by otptilltheend + photo (nsfw)
Summary: AU. CEO Steve and Personal Assistant Nat. Also, just smut. – "Your boss expects you in his office by the time his meeting is over."
For: @loictalon, @sleepygrimm, @evanzski, @sassaspazz, @xo-stardust720, @otptilltheend
A/N: There are quite a few people that this is being dedicated to because: first of all, Happy Birth Month to loictalon and sleepygrimm, and Happy Belated Birthday to evanzski! Maybe one year I'll have my shit together and get your birthday presents out on time. But I hope some smut will make up for me being perpetually behind.
And second of all, I had planned to have a little smut week, but then belatedly realized that, hey, I have over thirty prompts to get to for my holiday giveaway and tacking on seven more so close to December probably isn't a tangible goal. But I was still wanted to thank sassaspazz and xo-stardust720 for giving me prompts for my would-be smut fest!
Excerpt:
"We don't have time for this, Steve. We have the meeting."
He arches an eyebrow. "I can make it quick."
Her heart stutters in her chest at the sparkle of challenge in his eyes. Oh, she knows he can make it quick and still oh so good. She knows quite well, actually. But, she glances at the clock and shakes her head. "We have to be in the office in an hour. Tony and Pepper are expecting us." Steve smirks, kisses her stomach. "I worked really hard on this presentation."
"I know, baby," he tells her, sliding further down the mattress, hooking her leg over his shoulder. "Which means you deserve a reward."
Read on: [ ffnet ] [ ao3 ]
The first thing she senses is him: his large, calloused hand on her hip, squeezing gently; his thigh pressed between her legs, almost innocent as it brushes against the delicate folds of her sex; his mouth nibbling on the curve of her neck, tongue teasing against her skin, lips gently sucking at her pulse.
Not the worst way in the world to be woken up.
She feels her lips curl into a smile, a warmth unfurling low in her stomach as she blinks her eyes open, vision blurring into focus on the digital clock on Steve's wall. Fuck. They really don't have time for this – not when they have to be in the office in an hour so they can prep for their client meetings. She has slides to proofread and handouts to print, and Steve has numbers and pitches to review with Tony. They don't have time, yet, her body seems perfectly content to lay here with Steve in a tangle of sheets and limbs as he slowly, lazily kisses his way down her neck, over her collarbone, lips sealing around one of her breasts and sucking with a gentle moan. She sucks in a soft, sharp breath, feels him smile against her skin.
"Good morning," he murmurs, rolling her onto her back and sucking at her again. Her fingers tuck into his hair and he glances up at her, smiling. "Ma'am."
"Hi," she says with a breathy laugh. "We don't have time for this, Steve. We have the meeting."
He arches an eyebrow. "I can make it quick."
Her heart stutters in her chest at the sparkle of challenge in his eyes. Oh, she knows he can make it quick and still oh so good. She knows quite well, actually. But, she glances at the clock and shakes her head. "We have to be in the office in an hour. Tony and Pepper are expecting us." Steve smirks, kisses her stomach. "I worked really hard on this presentation."
"I know, baby," he tells her, sliding further down the mattress, hooking her leg over his shoulder. "Which means you deserve a reward."
"Celebrating something before it's happened is bad luck," she argues, voice thin and quivering and weak, because she can feel his breath against her slick heat. He'd gently and expertly wound her up in the haze of her sleep, because she's already wet, almost embarrassingly so.
Not that it takes much effort from him to get her wet in the first place. But still.
"Since when did you believe in luck?" he asks, dipping his head down before she can respond and sliding his tongue through her folds, just barely brushing her clit.
Her moan is broken and breathy as she twists her fingers in his hair, feeling him groan against her as he licks a little harder, teasing his tongue at her entrance with every stroke. He loves it when she gets a little rough – tugs at his hair, digs her nails into his back, nips at his skin with her teeth. He remembers when he told her this for the first time, during a late night in the office, her pencil skirt hiked up to her hips as she straddled him in his desk chair and took him in deep and hard, her nails pulling at his hair and scratching at his scalp for support. He'd guided her hips over him with his hands, stared up at her with an almost dazed, drugged expression, and told her how much he loved it when she was a little greedy.
I love when you're so lost in your pleasure that you just take and take from me. You're always composed, always perfectly presented, and only I know what you look like when you're undone.
Even months later, even so established into their (albeit clandestine) relationship, the memory of that night and those words still makes her shiver.
He sucks at her little bundle of nerves, presses her leg to the mattress and dips his tongue into her, and her mouth parts in a mewl. It's ridiculous how well this man knows her and her body, ridiculous how quickly she unravels at his touch, at his lips, at his kiss.
"Steve," she moans, tugging at his hair. She's not sure if she wants to pull him deeper or pull him up and over her so she can feel him before she goes crazy.
"So wet," he murmurs, lapping at her clit. She gnaws on her lower lip, rolls her head and presses her cheek into the pillow. "You're always so wet and ready for me, love."
"Come here." Her command is breathy and a little too desperate for her preference. But she hardly cares. She yanks at his hair. "Steve, come here."
He breathes out a chuckle, presses a little kiss to her folds before sliding his lips back up her body, settling over her. He hooks her leg around his hip, opening her up to him, his length brushing teasingly against her slick heat. She digs her nails into the muscles of his back, scratching, trying to bring him closer, and he chuckles again as he presses at her entrance.
His lips are tugged into a smirk. "Got to love a quickie in the morning before work," he says, and a laugh bubbles out of her.
Steve Rogers, ever the romantic.
Her laugh dissolves into a moan, though, when he rolls his hips and thrusts into her, hard and deep. Her lips part, her spine arching off of the bed, and Steve's head falls forward to press into her pillow, his lips right next to her ear as he lets out a low and rumbling groan. That groan – that first moment of pure, absolute pleasure – always makes her shiver, her body practically vibrating in delight. They have sex on a very, very regular basis, but somehow, that first thrust feels almost as perfect as their first time together. She thinks that it should worry her more, how much she feels for him. One careless, tipsy night out of town for a conference had turned into late nights in the office, making love bent over his desk, against his bookshelf, on his office lounge chair. And fuck, she thinks that should've been the first sign. She's slept with guys before this job, but it had never felt like making love.
Not until Steve. He may be her boss, and she may be just a personal assistant, but he's always treated her like something precious.
Even now, with his thrusts rough and hard and deep, he's murmuring sweet words into her skin, peppering soft kisses over her neck, gently sweeping his fingers over the dip of her curves. He brushes over the sensitive spot just under her ribs that always, always makes her body tingle and her stomach flutter and her mouth part in a plea.
He cups her cheek, smooths his thumb over her flushed skin.
"Look at you, love," he says, breath tight with exertion and arousal. "I love watching your face, watching your desire spread across your skin, watching you gasp for breath."
Her heart flutters, nails digging even harder into his back. But he doesn't even flinch. If anything, his eyes flash at her desperate, greedy touch.
"Remember that first time?" His hips snap, the angle changing as he slides his arm under the bend of her knee and presses it up higher so he can slide in deeper. She lets out a keening moan, lips parting, body arching. The memory alone is enough to make her whimper. The taste of champagne on his tongue, the floor biting into her back because they were too impatient to stumble their way onto the bed, the pretty, shimmery dress bunched carelessly over her hips and Steve kneeling in front of her, still in his suit, lips wet with her heat as he loosened his tie. Months of repressed attraction had burst in a flurry of heat and breaths, ending with a broken lamp and a torn shower curtain and the linens pulled from the bed.
"Y-Yes…" Her eyelids flutter closed. "Why do you—" She whimpers as he reaches between them, circling lightly over her clit. She's close, and she can tell he is, too.
"Because I think about it every time I'm in you. Every damn time, Nat." He groans, ducking down to kiss her, hard. "God, I'm—"
"Me too," she whines against his lips.
He presses just a little harder on her bundle of nerves, and she sucks in a gasp as her vision goes blurry and white, her desire bursting over her. She can feel how hard Steve is as her walls flutter around his length, and he moans into her ear, hips jerking harder and without rhythm as his orgasm follows on the heels of hers.
A few long moments later, once they've caught their breaths, Natasha twines her fingers into his hair and glances over at the clock again, feeling herself smirk.
"I think we've beat our record, Rogers," she says, and she feels him chuckle against her neck before lifting his head to meet her gaze, his eyes twinkling. "I'm impressed."
"I'll keep that in mind the next time you veto sex during our fifteen-minute meeting breaks," he says, and she's laughing as she rolls her eyes.
... ...
The meeting had gone spectacularly, of course. It always does when she and Steve work together on a presentation. He and Tony have been asking her to head a few marketing campaigns on her own now that she's been working with Steve long enough, and she loves it, of course. She's always been just an assistant, there to run errands and manage schedules so her bosses would be free to focus on their jobs. But with Steve, she had been more involved even in the beginning, when she had known virtually nothing about the marketing business. Steve asked for her opinions after meetings, wanted her input on their campaigns, let her edit presentations and handouts when she felt more comfortable.
She's not going to pretend that their relationship had nothing to do with the way he treated her like more than just an assistant. But she knows Steve, and she knows that he wouldn't have asked her to become more involved simply because he'd been attracted to her.
"I saw genuine interest in your eyes. From that very first day, I'd had a hunch you'd be amazing at it," he'd told her once, with a proud grin. "I like it when I'm right."
She does miss working with him, though.
Her official title may not have changed, but now that he's asking her to head some of his campaigns, she doesn't see him every second of the day anymore. She finds herself missing him a little when he can't make it to lunch with her, or when she can't attend a meeting with him because she has one of her own. It's ridiculous and she knows it, but still.
"Have I lost your thoughts to Steve again?" Pepper asks, tone colored with amusement as she snaps her fingers in front of Natasha's gaze.
Natasha blinks, lips quirking at the corners as she picks up another slide of her flatbread. "I was just thinking that I should've grabbed Steve some breakfast before his second meeting. He's got to be starving by now."
Pepper laughs. "You always worry over him."
"Well, considering I'm his personal assistant, I'd say worrying over him is my job."
Pepper tilts her head. "Right. Because that's all you are to us," she teases. "After all, every personal assistant is entrusted to head their own marketing campaigns."
"Sarcasm isn't really your thing," Natasha retorts, tossing her crumpled napkin at Pepper's plate. The woman grins, arching her eyebrow expectantly. "Fine. I miss him."
"I know you do," Pepper tells her, and Natasha knows she's being sincere. If anyone were to understand Natasha's position, it would be her. She'd gone from being Tony Stark's personal assistant to being promoted to a partner in his company, and it seems as if they've seen less of each other since they've gotten engaged. "You two will find your balance," Pepper promises, reaching over to squeeze her fingers gently, reassuringly. "It took Tony and me a month to figure out how to find time to make it to the dinner table every night."
Natasha nods, and then her phone buzzes on the table, her screen lighting up with Steve's name. She'd texted him before going to brunch with Pepper after he'd left for his second meeting of the day – just a simple I want coffee – but his response makes her nearly spit out her mimosa.
I want your legs wrapped around my head.
Her heart flutters.
"Oh my," Pepper chuckles, not at all trying to hide the fact that she's reading Steve's text across the table. "Well, someone's obviously not paying attention to his meeting."
Natasha feels herself smile, feels her cheeks warm. He's managed to fluster her through a text? God, that's pathetic.
She types back, Fuck the coffee, and takes a long sip of her mimosa. Pepper smirks. "Would you like me to excuse yourself to the restroom?"
"Shut up," Natasha laughs, her phone buzzing with Steve's response.
I'd rather fuck you instead.
And then, Or better yet, you should fuck me. I know you love being in charge.
It should be crime for a text to sound so fucking tempting. She replies with: Is this my reward for a job well done?
No, babe, you got your reward this morning. This is for ME, and your boss expects you in his office by the time his meeting is over.
Coming from anyone else, she suspects Steve would sound demanding and controlling, but she knows better. She knows he's unapologetic about asking for what he wants. And he wants her not simply because he's attracted to her or because he just wants to fuck her, but because he adores her. Because he craves her, craves her pleasured desperation.
She glances up when Pepper waves her hand to motion for their waiter. "I think she'll need an iced water," Pepper tells him, her expression perfectly innocent.
Natasha just smirks.
... ...
"Quite bold of you to keep your boss waiting, don't you think?" he asks, lips tugged into a bit of a smirk when she lets herself into his office. She'd taken her time coming back from brunch, knowing it would mean he would get there before her despite his request. He hardly seems to mind, though. She presses her lips together, the lock into place behind her before strolling toward him, her stilettos clicking against the floor. His eyes trace down the front of her coat, arching one eyebrow. She hadn't been wearing it when he last saw her.
"My apologies," she says, shrugging out of her coat slowly, relishing in the way his lips part, his eyes growing dark and hungry. She's still in the same blouse from earlier, but she'd removed her camisole and bra underneath, and now her nipples were hard from brushing against the material. Hard, and very clearly visible through the lace.
She drapes her coat over his desk, and it takes a long pause before he pulls his gaze back up to her face.
"Wardrobe malfunction, I'm assuming?"
She hums in acknowledgment, walks around his desk, drumming her nails on the wood as she comes to stand in front of his chair. His gaze slides down again, taking in the fact that she's hiked her skirt up a little more, enough to expose the clips of her garter belt holding up her stockings. "Unfortunately, yes," she answers, playing along, leaning over his desk to busy herself with rearranging the stack of folders. "I'd felt too warm after our meeting to continue wearing satin," she tells him, glancing over her shoulder and catching the way his eyes flash in understanding. She'd been wearing a satin bra and the matching underwear; lingerie that Pepper had gifted to her for her birthday just last week. "But I feel better now."
"Do you?" He gets up, bracing his hands against the desk as he presses against her, leaning over her. She bites on her lower lip, feeling how hard he is through his dress slacks.
He grasps her leg just above her knee, making her suck in a soft, shallow breath as he gives her a squeeze, then trails his fingers up higher. Even with her stockings as a barrier between her thigh and his fingertips, his touch sends ripples of tingles over her skin.
She shouldn't be this aroused this quickly, but she always is with Steve. The fact that she's been reading his texts over and over again hadn't helped. She'd thought of them as she undressed, picturing him typing those out to her during his meeting. She knows he must've been imagining her spread out on that conference table, dripping onto the oak wood with his face buried between her legs and her heels digging onto his back as she rolled her hips up to meet the teasing licks of his tongue, craving more friction, more pressure, more.
His hand slips under her skirt, meeting her smooth, bare skin, finding her wet. Finding her soaked.
"Fuck," he mutters, dropping his head onto her shoulder and licking at the clasp of choker on the back of neck. He glides his fingers through her folds and she makes this noise from the back of her throat, pushing back against him.
He feels harder, if possible.
She reaches behind her, grabs at the collar of his shirt and yanks his head forward as she twists her neck around to kiss him, hard and hot and heavy, her hips rolling against his hand. It's hard not to indulge if even for a little, not with the gentle, almost torturous way he's circling her clit, not with the way the lacy detail of her shirt is rubbing over her nipples.
He groans, kissing her deeper, his other hand grasping at her chin to keep her in place as her hands fumble and grasp for the desk.
She manages to slip her fingers into her coat pocket, grasping onto the cool metal, and then she catches him off guard by yanking her lips away, spinning him around and pushing him back down into his chair, moving to straddle his lap. He blinks up at her in surprise and a touch of amusement, and then she holds her hand up, dangling the handcuffs from her index finger. His eyes widen ever so slightly, lips twitching at the corners. She knows he's trying to keep his expression schooled for their little game, but she doesn't miss the hunger in his eyes, swirling and storming. She leans forward, hovers her lips over his, her hair falling around them, and he lets her grasp his wrists as she kisses him, winding them behind his chair.
He chuckles into their kiss as she clasps the handcuffs around his wrists, binding him in place.
"I thought having a personal assistant meant my hands wouldn't be tied," he points out, arching an eyebrow.
She smirks, shakes her head ever so slightly at his joke as she eases off of his lap. "Maybe that means you'll appreciate your lovely assistant more," she teases, lifting herself to sit on the edge of his desk. She tugs him by his tie, rolling his desk chair closer as she sets a heel on each of the chair arms, spreading herself for him to see.
She's wet. She can feel it.
"Fuck," he breathes, staring at her slick sex. She reaches over and threads her fingers into his head, tugging him between her thighs. He glances up at her, eyes flashing.
"Feel like giving your assistant some help for once?" she asks, relishing in his breathy laugh against the inside of her thigh.
He hums, inhaling her scent, and she swears she almost lets out a strangled noise when he tentatively licks up her center, flicking at her bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue. He groans as if he's tasting her for the first time, the chair straining ever so slightly when he leans in closer, licking her a little harder and a little harder with every stroke.
"Oh," she moans, bracing her free hand on the desk behind her as she tips her head back, trying to roll her hips off of the table. The sweet irony of the situation is that she wishes his hands were free to touch her, to grasp her hips so he can roll his tongue in deeper, sink three fingers into her, rub at her clit. She wants his calloused, gentle, desperate touch all over her, and she digs her nails into his scalp, barely biting back a whimper as his lips close around her clit, giving a gentle suck once, twice, three times, making her hips jerk on the desk.
He turns his head, kisses the inside of her thigh. "Lay down, baby," he urges her. "Open yourself up for me."
She nods and does as he asks, laying herself back against the desk, letting her legs fall open. His tongue laps at her clit before circling, over and over, making her body tremble. Her breaths are broken, whimpers falling from her lips as she tries to roll her hips in time with the strokes of his tongue, but he's purposefully throwing her off, driving her crazy.
When she comes undone, her walls flutter, aching, her body still craving to feel him even as she's in the midst of her high and unraveling at the seams.
She grips onto his hair, scratches her nails over his scalp as she rolls her hips, riding out her orgasm. He keeps licking at her, gently sucking at her little bundle of nerves until she's shaking and trembling and gently pushing at his forehead.
He licks at her once, twice, three more times, before pulling away, and she blinks her eyes open to find him staring at her, mouth wet and hair pulled in different directions.
Fuck, that's a good look for him.
"I really want to touch you," he says, voice gruff. He looks as disheveled as she feels.
She lifts herself up and kisses him, presses her tongue against his. She teases him by sliding back onto his lap, reaching around to run her fingers over the smooth, cool metal of the cuffs around his wrists, giving the chain a gentle tug. Then she smiles against his lips, pulls her hands away as she meets his gaze and shakes her head.
"Tease," he murmurs, grinning like an idiot. Like he'd known she wouldn't let him free just yet, and he doesn't want her to, either.
She laughs as she straddles his thigh and rolls her hips, feeling the material of his slacks brush against her slick folds, making her shudder. She hooks a hand over the back of his neck to anchor herself, grinding down on his thigh as her free hand slides down his chest, cupping where he's hard for her. He groans, head falling back, and she licks up the column of his neck and nips at the underside of his jaw. Seeing her dressed the way she is had gotten him hard, but eating her out? That had turned him positively rigid. She knows that he's aching.
"N-Nat—" He swallows, tries to jerk his hips up, but she pulls her hand away and fists the material of his dress shirt instead. He groans out a laugh. "You're killing me, darling."
She tips her head up to lick the shell of his ear. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he replies, voice gravelly, almost pained with his desire. It makes her smile, her stomach flipping.
"I miss you," she says, barely above a whisper as she places a line of wet kisses along the line of his jaw.
"Nat, stop for a second," he tells her. She does, leaning back to meet his gaze. He tips his head forward to kiss her, gently at first, almost tentatively as he licks the seam of her lips before pressing inside. He takes his time kissing her, tasting her, and she feels herself grow wetter just from the sound he makes when she nips his lip. Then he parts their kiss and brushes his lips to the corner of her mouth, the apple of her cheek, the bridge of her nose. "I've missed you, too, Nat." Grinning, he kisses her forehead. "It's been a tough week."
Her chest tightens, just a little. Yes, it has. Though it had been quick, this morning was the first morning in a while that they've gotten to enjoy each other.
It's been hard lining up their schedules. They're in and out of meetings at different times, take their lunches at different hours. More often than not, one of them has to stay late and the other has to go in early. If not for the fact that she'd basically move into his apartment, there would probably be days where they'd miss each other completely.
It's strange for her to go from seeing him all the time, every moment of the day, to catching him for ten, maybe fifteen minutes at a time. She still sees him around the office all the time, of course, but it's different. She can't remember the last time they sat down and had a cup of coffee together.
"But if this"—he rattles the handcuffs—"is how you cope with missing me, I don't have any complaints."
He's grinning again, eyes sparkling in mischief, and it makes her laugh. She reaches down and palms the front of his slacks, feeling her pulse thrum as his eyelashes flutter closed and he lets out a low groan. "I'm trying to be serious here and all you can think about is sex?" she asks, teasing, giving a gentle squeeze the way he likes it.
"Shit," he mutters through a laugh, squirming under her touch. "Can't exactly blame me, can you? Not when you come in, wearing that, cuffing me to my own chair."
She hums, starts rolling her hips again, harder, squeezing her legs around his thighs and throwing her head back at a particularly rough brush of his slacks against her bundle of nerves. She can practically feel him responding under her hand, pulsing against her palm.
She digs her nails into the back of his neck, holding onto it like a lifeline as she grinds her hips faster, almost erratically, feeling her orgasm rapidly coiling in her stomach. She knows that she can barely concentrate on her own hand, that her fingers are fumbling around him, uneven and tormenting, and she hears it in the rasp of his voice when he says her name. But somehow, despite how much he must be aching, it doesn't surprise her when he pushes his mouth next to her ear and tells her, "Touch yourself." Her gaze snaps onto him from underneath heavy eyelids, his expression pulled tight with his arousal. Still, he commands, or maybe pleads: "I know you're close. Let go of me and touch yourself the way I would."
She pulls her hand off of his length and slides it through her slick sex, circling her clit, accidentally brushing it once, twice, three times, the same way he teases her.
"I think I'll come just from watching you, Nat," he says, his voice heavy and thick. He sounds like he could. He sounds as breathless as she feels.
And that alone is almost enough to send her over the edge.
She reaches between them and all, somehow, gets the buckle of his belt undone and pulled from the belt loops despite how much she seems to be shaking. He groans as she touches him, pulling him from his boxers, and then she's lining him up at her entrance and sinking over him, taking him in deep.
Their moans vibrate through the air, filling the wide, open space of his office, that's how loud they are, how relieved yet desperate they sound.
She digs one hand into the muscles of his shoulder, the other grasping at his tie in her fist as her spine arches, and she tosses her head back when he shifts beneath her and brushes against that sweet spot that sends a burst of white-hot desire through her veins. She can hear him murmuring her name over and over again, his phrases broken and barely coherent over the haze of her approaching orgasm as he tells her how much he loves her, how amazing she feels, how perfectly they fit together. And then, when she's right on that edge, she tugs his lips to hers and kisses him. She thinks she nips his lip when her orgasm bursts over her, but if she does, he doesn't notice. He's too busy falling over that edge right with her.
She curls forward, clinging onto him for support as his body goes limp beneath her, their bodies riding the last tremors of their orgasms as they come back down to Earth.
"It's possible," he says after a long moment, through labored breaths, "that the entire floor might have heard us."
"I think the entire building heard us," she rasps out on a laugh, reaching into the pocket of her skirt for the key to the handcuffs. Her fingers fumble with it a few times, but she finally gets them unlocked, and he tugs his hands free.
She grasps one of his wrists, placing a kiss to the red lines that had been rubbed into his skin, and then repeating the gesture to the other wrist.
"I'm alright," he promises, waiting for her to nod in acknowledgment before gently prying from her grasp so he can tuck his hands into her hair, pulling her in for a soft, sweet kiss. She hums against his lips, her body melting into his. She feels sated all the way down to her bones, in the way only making love to Steve can do. "I could've done it, you know."
"Hmm?" She leans back to find him giving her that crooked, almost boyish grin of his.
"I could've come without being inside you, just from watching you," he clarifies. "I think, even if you weren't touching me, I would've come. Just because it's you."
"I know," she says, meaning it, feeling a flutter of pride and complete adoration unfurl in her chest. She's known that she has that effect on him, but it's still a little exhilarating every single time he tells her as much. "That's what made me want to reward you," she admits, kissing his dimpled cheek before drawing back to smirk. "But we'll get to that next time."
His eyes sparkle. "Whatever you say, boss."
#romanogers#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#chanty writes#chanty's smut#loictalon#sleepygrimm#evanzski#sassaspazz#xo stardust720#otptilltheend#p.s. what is editing? what is proofreading?? tell my mind to do these things once in a while
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hey this is the previous anon! i'm grateful for that long response. im actually been treating my depression successfully for the past year, and im a lot better! it's just that every once in a while i get low, which i usually get through! it's just i feel like everythings piling up yknow?? family issues, depression, school, and i've been insanely paranoid as of late. its just that i've been doing ""Cheer Up"" things but thats not what i need. but idk what i need?? thanks for responding though
i think i need like an irl friend to talk to? i have one or two friends , and i’m fine with that, but when i get super stressed like this it’s hard. my closest friend isn’t as great as dealing w her depression, and usually we like talk ab her issues. its just that whenever im going thru something we talk about her stuff instead, and i always just feel bad saying “oh yeah that sucks but anyways i have problems too” and its just? its kinda tiring just being a soundboard (1/?) (prev anon btw)
its just disheartening when u feel down and its like u dont have anyone to talk too. i want to talk but she also kinda opens w her problems and we spend the whole time trying to cheer her up. like im not accusing her of being a bad friend or whatever i just wished she like let me talk every once in a while. i recognize shes generally in a much worse place than me but i just wish sometimes she asked how i was? but idk whenever i’m feeling shitty she is too (she is more often than not) (2/?)
she talks first so we spend our whole time together talking ab her bad day and i havent even gotten to talk to anybody about anything thats been. i know i should talk to her about it but its never the right time. shes rarely stable enough to talk about other people problems and when she is i dont want to ruin her mood and im just so tired of not being able to actually physically talk to someone. typing or writing or talking to my dog isnt the same as talking to a friend y know?? (¾)
(4/4) but anyway thank you so much for reading!! you don’t have to post all these its just once i started typing i couldn’t stop. hopefully things will be better soon.
If you don’t like that I posted them then I can take them down at your request! but you’re on anon so your identity is safe.
I definitely get all the “I don’t need ‘cheer up’ things.” Little short-term things aren’t meant to bandage long-term issues long-term. They’re just quick ways to alleviate symptoms. And you gotta find for yourself what coping methods help you long-term. For me, getting back into nature and expressing daily gratitude helps, with a healthy amount of relying on my friends and family. Which seems to be what you’re seeking!
Sometimes friendships can be a little one-sided. I would try talking to your friend and expressing your need to express yourself too! But definitely trying to reach out/extend current friendships/find new ones. Reevaluate yourself and the people around you and take as much time as you need to decide who you can trust. Real life friends are always better than online because you have that real contact and speech and reliance, and social media can sometimes become an escape and an addiction and you don’t want that. You want to rekindle your enjoyment in the physical world.
In the meantime, though, if you need to vent again, whether publicly or privately, message or ask box, I am here. And you might want to try something like 7cupsoftea, where you talk to other people like you or professionals via text about your issues. The Dawn Room and its associated sites are also very good. Good luck, nonnie, I believe in you!
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