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bellewintersroe · 8 months

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Fernando Alonso x ex! OC smut.

Fernando and Lila have been separated for a year. After a breakup neither of the pair wanted, emotions boil over during a brief meeting in her new home country of Australia. Unlucky for the pair, famous actress and model, Lila only has one night to spend with Alonso, the two make the most of the time they have together. Set in 2019, may not be accurate but it’s just my depiction.

warnings: smut, descriptions of sex, oral, if you’re uncomfortable don’t read. Both characters are heartbroken- some mentions of previous child loss, really want to write a series based off this, comment if it’s something you guys would like to read? This is LONG btw just a warning.

Alonso’s eyes were fixated, his breath didn’t move for a solid 10 seconds when he saw a familiar figure walking in the room. It wasn’t a coincidence that his tie suddenly felt too tight like it was choking him, and she was here. Lila Lillian, the name and face of an angel, his ex-fiancée. The woman who still had his heart a year later. Fernando felt his jaw then fall slack, eyebrows pulling together slightly as his heart began thumping furiously against his chest. There came that funny feeling that he only felt when thinking about her. A longing, a desperation, sadness, shortly followed by a contrasting excitement and happiness to see her here.

Fernando didn’t know why he was shocked. He purposefully came to watch this Grand Prix in Australia knowing she’d possibly be around. The reason their almost-three-year relationship had ended was because of this scheduled move to Australia. They’d experienced so much together before the move, the loss of their unborn baby, an engagement, a bond neither of them shared with any other individual. Fernando swallowed, finally taking a deep breath. Lila had not seen him yet, but Daniel Ricciardo, her close friend who introduced Fernando to her.

His eyes were still focused on her, breathing a little laboured as he moved his head forwards to follow her when she got lost behind a few, taller figures. The petite woman had a radiance like no other, smile bright and wide, encapsulated by her glossy, plump lips. Fernando felt he was in a trance, a dream. He’d been picturing their reunion for days, weeks, even months. When the two figures continuing contact was too difficult, they hadn’t spoke in over three months.

Lila’s gaze was focused on Daniel, laughing at the joke he’d just made, she was aware her ex fiancé may or may not have been at that particular table, but part of her was too afraid to check.

“Fernando is here.” Daniel muttered quietly when they shared a quick hug. “Okay.” Her breath felt sharp, chest pinching. Unknown to either of them, they were experiencing the exact same level of nerves and anticipation as the other.

Fernando only snapped his eyes away when Sebastian slapped him on the back. A supportive kind of action. “You should go say hi before we all get in there.” There wasn’t many of the drivers at the bar, a couple who’d come along with their partners. Fernando wasn’t racing that season, desperate for a change from his not so successful McLaren days. The men there had labelled Lila as his distraction, the reason why he wasn’t performing to the best of his ability, forgetting all about the weakness of their own car. That was something that still made Fernando angry, even a year later.

“Ok.” The Spaniard seemed to move in slow motion. He stared at the table for a moment, earning a few strange looks, swigging his expensive liquor dramatically. It wasn’t how Fernando had pictured, he thought it would be more private, just the two of them. But all the excitement and bustle of the club somehow made their reunion less awkward, less scary. As he approached around the back of the chairs, he was cut short when Lewis’ chair scraped back, accidentally cutting him off to say hello first.

Suddenly Fernando felt transported back to their competitive days, when their respect for one another was yet to greatly form. Fernando thought Lila hadn’t looked at him once, and he felt borderline like he was dying to just speak to her before everybody else got in the way.

“Lewis, hi!” The English girl giggled, arms wrapping around an old friend as the two shared a friendly hug. “Hello you. It’s been ages, how are you? How’s Australia?!”

Fernando borderline felt like he was going into a sulk, tormented by what felt like the longest conversation in the whole of Australia. Finally Lewis sat back down and all of a sudden she was just there. Lila had more of a shock, she hadn’t turned her head to see where Fernando was sat, so now he was stood in front of her, she felt like she was staring at a ghost.

“Fernando.” Her voice was light and airy, heart jumped heavily causing her fingers to touch at the bare skin of her chest. A smile broke on his face and he moved closer, engaging in what both of them wanted to be a tighter hug. Lila inhaled the oh-so familiar scent that sent a wave of nostalgia through her, a comfort like no other. Fernando didn’t fail to recognise the gentle swipe of her thumb over his clothed back, her touch grazing over his waist when they broke apart, something that Fernando shuddered at.

“Hello.” He gently spoke, her brows furrowing a little, the bitter sweet recognition of his voice being borderline overwhelming. His hand still rested on the small of her clothed back, the tiny gesture being enough to make her stomach knot.

I miss you. Fernando thought, “hi.” She giggled nervously, scanning over his face. “How are you?” She spoke after a second or so. Fernando released the tightness of his jaw swiftly. Lila unconsciously held the finger of one hand in her other, her ring finger, now bare without the ring she once wore.

“I’m ok. How are you? You look beautiful.” Fernando’s genuine compliment touched her heart more so than anybody else’s. He saw the way her lips stretched out, the way her eyes still carried a saddened glaze. Angelic, Fernando couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked, the bounce of her hair, the softness of her features. The freckles that dotted over her face- every single detail he once traced he was viewing all over again.

“Thank you…” Lila was so nervous her voice had cracked and faded, so much so Fernando wouldn’t have heard her previous words unless he was watching her so attentively. “So do-”

“Hello, mrs Lillian, I missed you!!!” A little too drunken Sebastian had stumbled over, causing both their heads to turn. Fernando felt a little startled, hand pressing a little firmer against her back. “-you.” She barely finished, clawing at Fernando’s heart as she began grinning again, moving from his hands to Sebastian’s bare hug.

“Take my seat.” Sebastian mouthed to Fernando, winking with a smirk. It was probably Hannahs plan, Sebastian’s wife, to allow the estranged couple to sit next to one another. A drunken ploy to bring the two of them together. Fernando cleared his throat, shuffling back to Sebastian’s seat.

Lila had made her way around the table, being ushered into a seat, not too subtly, next to Fernando. His blazer still rested on the back of the seat, warm against her back which he’d worn previously. The fancy award show which took place prior wasn’t necessarily something Fernando liked, Lila too, but she always did like seeing him a suit…

“Are you staying for a few?” Daniel questioned from across the table, she leaned forwards, smile stretching. “I shouldn’t, all my friends have left, I only really came to say hi. My flights at like 9 tomorrow.”

She was met with a range of objections, pleads and exclamations. From everybody apart from Fernando who felt like he’d been punched in the gut. She was flying out? Away from where he would be for the next week? How was this fair, it couldn’t have been.

“Okay, I’ll stay. Only for a couple though, Daniel I know you’re gonna try get me drunk!” She warned, speaking confidently, laughing at her own comment as Fernando’s lips twitched. She always was funny, a little quirky but her sense of humour was something he found so attractive. “Gonna make me miss my flight.” She commented, laughing gently as Fernando’s eyebrows perked realising she was speaking to him. She’d stolen a glance, desperate to not make their interaction awkward.

“Where are you flying to?” His accent was thicker than she remembered, he leant back in his chair, looking as cool as ever. She smiled gently, fingers still playing with one another.

“New York. I’ve got a shoot there.” Lila laughed a little at how prestigious the words sounded. “Ah.” Fernando nodded, feeling a little loss for words. His disappointment was maybe a little too evident, so he was quick to down the rest of his drink. “Would you like a drink?”

“Oh, yeah..” so much for ‘I wasn’t drinking’ Lila felt the nerves rattling through her bones, something that could only be softened by the flow of alcohol. “I’ll come.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I have it.” He nodded, standing up before she could. Her head tilted up, “oh, Fernando you don’t have to.”

“It’s okay.” He firmed. “Rose?”

“Yeah.” Lila inhaled. “Please…” The more conversation flowed, the more alcohol was consumed. Lila felt consumed by the back Fernando was right there, and as the clock was striking 12, she knew she should’ve been leaving, but the urgency to just do something, do more, with him was overwhelming.

She was two-and-a-half glasses in and being a lightweight, the buzz of the alcohol was already clouding her mind. When she’d taken a break from the conversation Lila felt herself lean back into her chair, instinctively tilting her head towards her left to where Fernando was. His veiny hands were spread over his thighs, finger cladded by the ring she bought him.

When he’d noticed where she was looking, Fernando tensed up a little, lifting his hand to look at the ring himself. “It’s a nice ring.” He shrugged, smirking to himself.

“I know.” She shrugged, border line teasing him. “I picked it out.” Lila chuckled down to her wine, sipping more of the drink she was enjoying a little too much.

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” He fired back playfully. Lila fully looked to him now, smiling properly. “You didn’t remind me once a week.” Fernando felt his heart flutter when she giggled at his words.

“I was proud!” She defended. “And I have good taste.” Lila shrugged, sipping on her drink. Fernando smirked towards her, eyes falling to the slit in her long, black dress. “I know.” He responded, quickly turning up to where she was already looking back to him. Throughout their conversation with one another and the others, the two were moving closer and closer together.

“There’s so many spiders here though, I knew there would be- but I was shocked they’re literal tarantulas.” She dramatically exclaimed. “I was right the whole time. Moving to Australia was a bad idea.” He was joking, of course, but there was an element of truth that lingered. When the two would occasionally dispute when being together, it was about her move to Australia.

“Yeah, yeah, course you were.” She playfully knocked his arm which he rested on the back of his chair. Their chairs were almost touching, every now and then their feet would touch under the table, her heel grazing against his shin. Fernando had no idea if it was intentional or not, but there was something ignited deep inside him at the fact they were reunited again.

“I mean, I should’ve listened to you about the snakes.” She turned her body to face his, knees touching his thigh. Fernando instinctively spread his legs a little further so they pressed firmer against her legs.

“Oh yeah?” He laughed, eyeing her up quickly, arm resting over the back of the chair she sat on subtly. “Yeah, they’re terrifying.” She admitted.

“Are they big?”

“Huge, Nando, you’d be terrified.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.” “Yeah? Good job you didn’t come to Australia with me then.” Although he could hear the sarcasm and joking oozing off her tone, his smile faltered, scanning over Lila’s expression. Her smile fell harder than when it had started. It was something she never could understand- well she could, but she always hoped Fernando would come to Australia with her at some point.

“Im only kidding.” She pointed out, aware the joke didn’t fall as it had intended to. His arm had fallen off the back of his chair. He offered her a gentle smile, a reassuring one. “You know-” as she finished her third glass of wine, she felt her filter becoming non existent.

“It is nice to see you, I wondered if… if you’d be here, you know cos you’re not racing and all this season?” Fernando’s heart melted as he automatically reached out, placing a hand on her thigh, not too far up. He could see the blush that grew on her face, the physical hitch in her throat.

“I missed you-” she dropped casually, touching his warm hand lightly, before removing it seconds later. “Sorry…” Lila frowned, wondering if she’d gone a little too far. The words simply stabbed at Fernando’s heart further. His fingers squeezed over her bare flesh. “I miss you.” He was quick to reply, voice low and head dipped slightly. The two of them looked at one another through their eyelashes.

“How are you doing? You know, taking some time off?” Terrible, heartbroken. Fernando wanted to be open with her.

“Keeping busy.”

“Not burning yourself out, I hope?” A kind hand laid on his arm supportively. “No.” He responded. “Just… I just needed some time off after last season.” And after the break up.

“McLaren.” She awkward smiled, exhaling the word out. She knew the things they thought of her, a distraction, a pretty girl that at 22 knew nothing when she was dating a man 12 years her senior. They probably rejoiced and laughed when they split. For Fernando that wasn’t home, he couldn’t accept anybody in his life who didn’t accept her, still, to this day. She was his home, and now she’d gone he felt clueless.

“Yeah…” he knowingly spoke. A moment of silence took over the pair. She glanced down to the time, 12:45. “Oh god. I need to go to bed.” Lila felt Fernando’s hand slip a little further up her leg when he looked to also check the time. “Do you have to leave, already?” His words tugged at her heart, a contrast to the way her core was burning at his hand flattened over her bare thigh.

“I’m flying out tomorrow, I have at be at the airport by 6:30.” She sighed, chest heavy with sadness. She’d been so caught up with catching up with Fernando she had somewhat forgotten that the night would have to come to an end.

“One more drink won’t kill you.” He attempted to lighten the mood by nudging her shoulder. In return Lila could only offer him a saddened smile. “Sorry, Nando…” the nickname made his chest ache painfully. “Then I will walk you back.” He offered as she reached over to catch his fingers against her own. Fernando hated that he didn’t feel the cold of her ring on against his hand. It should’ve been there… “Okay.” Her voice was reduced to a whisper as he helped her up, “we are heading off.” Fernando cleared his throat to the few people still gathered around the table. People eyed up the pair, some smirking, some shocked.

“It’s been nice to see you all, hopefully I’ll see you guys soon… bye Danny.. see you Seb.” After a few moments of goodbye’s the two left side-by-side. For Lila it felt just like old times, except there was a sadness that lingered.

“I’m getting a ride back.” Lila had already texted her driver, who was waiting outside. She halted, looking up to Fernando whom she had paused so they were face to face. Her words made his heart drop, feelings reminiscent of that early morning in the airport when they said goodbye for good.

“I just wanted to say bye to you away from the table.” Lila slowly explained, seeing Fernando scanning over her face with sadenned, puppy eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, Nando.” She felt as though she could cry, reaching out and taking his hand.

Fernando swallowed, stealing a glimpse out to the car readily parked outside. When he turned back to her he felt like he’d been punched in the gut to see her eyes becoming glassy.

“No, no, no.” He hushed, pulling her closer. Her arms wrapped over his shoulders, feeling his hand on her waist, the other on the back of her head. “Come with me, Nando…” she’d pulled back only slightly, gazing up to the taller man. Tears had yet to spill, she was just awaiting his response.

“Pl-” “Yes.” Fernando simply spoke, placing her hand back into his. “Let’s go, bebé.”

The car ride home was comfortable, neither of them spoke too much, but Fernando had purposefully sat next to her in the middle seat, their hands still intertwined. Both of them felt the need for one another, the deep desire that burnt in each of their hearts. It went beyond lust, it was a need. Lila would brush her hand against Fernando’s inner thigh every now and then and he would struggle with the urge to control his mind leading elsewhere.

“Where are you staying?” Lila gently asked when they were stood outside her hotel room. Living in Sydney, she was pretty far from home. “Not too far from here. I will walk.” Fernando nodded. “W- no. You can- you can get a taxi.” She stammered, purposefully delaying the goodbye. What she really wanted to say was ‘you can stay’ but somehow, despite the Dutch courage, she was nervous.

Fernando smiled tightly, running a hand down her arm before glancing back down the hall, where the lifts were. Lila’s heart jumped in a desperation that screamed at her to not let him leave.

“Fernando-”

“Lila-” he began, taking hold of her hand. “Yeah?” She felt lost for breath, as did Fernando. He picked up her hand, pulling it up to his lips intimately. She let out a closed mouth sigh, one that was audible to his ears, hurting his heart.

“Come here.” He whispered, pulling her right into his front where they shared a tight embrace. “I miss you, Nando. I meant to say it earlier, not that I missed you. I still do.” The clarification was something Fernando honestly had not picked up on, but it was still enough to make him feel like he wanted to cry.

“I know.” He whispered feeling her pull back to gaze over his face. The two shared no more words, just a look that they both recognised. With a gentle caress of her cheek, Fernando moved forwards, pressing his lips to hers gently. That kiss sealed their fate. It gave them both butterflies just like it was the first time, and when the kiss deepened she found herself pulling him into her room, key card clumsily waving against the door to unlock it.

When they were inside she grappled hold of his blazer desperately, beginning to push it off as he simultaneously began pulling off his tie. Their tongues danced against one another’s, lipstick smearing over his lips as they frantically made out with one another.

When they fell back into the bathroom door the two of them shared a giggle, meeting eyes for the first time. Lila’s smile remained as her fingers fell to the buckle on his belt. Fernando glanced down with a slack jaw before moving in for another kiss, breathing becoming heavier as she began unbuckling his belt, unzipping his trousers and leaving them open. Her hand was going to reach down into his underwear but she had to steady herself, holding onto his shoulders. Fernando closed the gap between them, hard cock pressing against her inner hip as she moaned against his lips.

His hands travelled down, pulling her dress down with it, tits exposing as he began leaving open mouthed kisses over her skin, her sensitive nipples. He was holding her up by the waist, crotch pressed into his by a hand on her ass. If he wasn’t holding onto her, Lila swore she’d fall over from the dizzy feeling. Fernando knew her body better than anybody, she had never been with anybody better, now she was desperate to have him again, all of him.

“Nando.” When she moaned, he swore he was being visited by the angels. He’d fully pushed her dress down and off, leaving her in a black pair of thongs and her heels. “Fernando, please, I can’t wait.” She choked out at the swipe of his hand over her aching pussy. She was throbbing for him, Fernando was positive he could feel it. He felt his cock painfully hard in his boxers, so much so it hurt.

When he felt the grab of her hand on him he thought he’d cum there and then. Something snapped and he was leading her towards the bed, nudging her down and pulling his cock free. He licked his hand, pushing her thongs to the side and swiping the wetness across her already dripping pussy. He groaned in pleasure at the sensation. The familiarity drove Fernando crazy, her chest was heaving and falling as they made eye contact, it was all so full of anticipation.

Usually Nando would go down on her for what felt like hours before, he’d made her finish endless amounts of times and he found nothing more erotic than seeing her in that position, writhing, pulling his hair, grinding her hips against his mouth. Lola’s lower stomach was burning, her hands holding around Fernando’s muscular arms, the tip of his unprotected cock nudging against her pussy.

More preparation was ideal, but neither of them could wait, he was gentle with his movement, watching her attentively for any sign of pain. Fernando reached out, stroking her cheek before falling on top of her, hands at either side of her as he eased his length into her.

Lola’s breath hitched, feeling him pull a pillow under her neck for comfort, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he took a deep breath, cock buried deep inside of her. “Nando.” She breathed, hand stroking down the back of his scalp and neck.

“Is that ok?” He quickly spoke as soon as he heard the delicate whisper of his name. “Yeah, you feel so good.” Lila swallowed, he sunk down, lips pressing to her forehead as he began moving slowly.

Fernando always enjoyed missionary with Lila, especially now, he could see every inch of her pleasure, kiss her, squeeze here, anything she wanted. Her heels still remained on her feet, spread wide. Fernando couldn’t resist running a hand up the inside of her soft flesh. He exhaled, his temple pressed to hers as he began moving slowly, sensually. His hips rolled slowly, her own bouncing up slightly to meet his as they engaged in a deep, messy kiss.

“I missed you… so much.” Fernando shakily sighed, “I missed you.” With every touch, every stroke, Fernando felt himself becoming unravelled in her hold, everything felt so intimate, their eye contact, their kisses, they were making love like it was the last time. Maybe it was, Fernando shook the thought from his mind. The slide of his cock in and out of her perfect pussy drove him into a trance, pulling her up onto his lap.

His movements were strong, she found it so erotic that as soon as she sat in his lap she began rocking her hips back and fourth against his. Their pants and gasps filled the room, foreheads pressed to one another as Fernando began to sweat in his shirt. His pants had been discarded but he couldn’t find the chance to possibly stop what was going on to undress fully.

When her movements became a little faster, her head dropped back, a louder moan escaping her lips, one that drove Alonso crazy. He was staring at her, watching her intensely as she rode him, fingers digging deeper into the flesh of his shoulders. He wanted her to leave marks for days to come so even if they weren’t near, he’d still have something technically of hers.

“Fernando, fuck… fuck.” Her moans developed into whines, his hips beginning to snap into hers. With more confidence, he felt his gasps slowly turn into grunts that escaped through his teeth. He pulled her back into his body, hugging her through the love making as she bounced up and down on his aching member.

“Please…” she babbled, a little unknown as to what she was pleading for. More of him, all of him, him to come back. “Shit.” Fernando cursed, eyes squeezing shut when she rolled herself deep against his cock. He wasn’t sure how long he’d last, she was already working towards an orgasm. Only Fernando could make her feel so good.

“Tan bueno. Eres tan buena.” He muttered out, an open mouthed groan escaping his lips. She responded to his words with an open mouthed cry, back arching and falling back again. “Please, Nando, please, fuck me.” She was being wicked, so very cruel, tits bouncing as she threw her head back, hair also bouncing with each movement.

Fernando was breathing out loud now, taking a handful of her breast, squeezing at the nipple as he watched her like he was seeing stars. Lila felt herself going into overdrive, there was something so erotic and intimate about being back with the man she still loved so much. When his hand travelled down to her clit, rubbing in the perfect way she liked, she knew she was a sucker.

“Fuck, I’m- Fernando, I’m gonna cum.” She slurred, choking out moans between each word. Her stomach was building as her movements turned frantic, he sped up to hit her g-spot, the bed squeaking under his movements. Lila felt bad for the people downstairs…

Her orgasm crept up painfully fast, she was gasping out loud, eyebrows scrunched as she stared back to his glistening eyes. “Cum for me, fuck. You can do it.” He encouraged, his fingers digging deeper into her hip bone. Lila’s voice cracked as she hit her peak, momentarily losing the ability to think as she experienced the most overwhelming orgasm ever.

The best part of it? She fell back into Fernando’s arms after, chest heaving and falling as she panted, coming down from her pure bliss. “Tan buena.” He told her, fingers stroking up her back.

“Mmmmh.” She hummed, brows still furrowed, lips pouted as they shared another kiss. Nando was gentle and careful to start his movements again, knowing she’d be sensitive from her prior orgasm.

“You feel so tight, oh my-” Fernando’s eyes rolled back as he bit down on her shoulder, hips slowly fucking into her. It wasn’t enough, he needed her faster, harder, all of her. He wanted to fill her with his seed, make her his again. “-God.” He finished his sentence, shuddering as he lifted her slightly, nudging her to go on all fours.

Lila loved when Fernando wanted to go in doggy. He was always so passionate, so good, most of all he fucked her like no other man could, so with a kiss to her pussy, and another to her bum cheek, he slid back in, groaning and grunting at the sensation.

“Lila.” He moaned, head dropping back in reaction to her back arching. She whined against the mattress, clawing at the sheets as she fell back onto his cock. His hands steadied her, overwhelmed with how beautiful this angle was. His thumbs pressed into the dimples at the bottom of her back, massaging slightly.

“Please, Fernando… fuck me how you used to.” Her words somehow got him almost choked up, but riled up to say the least. With the snatch of a hip each, he fucked into her, using all his stamina to continue the sex until they were both experiencing an immeasurable amount of pleasure. “Mierda. Ángel mío, te sientes tan jodidamente bien.” Fernando’s dirty words weren't something she could properly translate, but she loved it, with each fuck of his cock inside of her he was growing hungrier, more desperate. “Please!” She wept, feeling her stomach constantly tighten from the pleasure.

“Please, Nando.” Lila let out a pornographic moan, one that Fernando followed with, the sound of her moans and begs becoming filthy driving him too close to the edge. His hips moved harshly, body curling over hers as his groans began long before his orgasm even began.

With one last whimper, of her asking him to finish inside her, Fernando felt he was driven crazy. His head was spinning as he felt the shoot of his seed filling her up, pussy clenched around him as he let out the hottest sound she’d ever heard. His body slumped, quickly resting a hand on the bed to support him through his orgasm, cheek rested on her back.

Fernando was in love, so deeply in love, still. “I love you.” He shuddered out as Lila felt the jump of her heart, her eyes pricking at the words. “I love you.” Her voice caught in her throat, but she didn’t hesitate to say it back. Fernando let out one final moan, milking the last of his orgasm before pulling out and smoothing down her back when she laid on her front.

He shifted to the right of her, laying on his side to meet her half way for gentle kisses. “Stay tonight.” Her hand rested against his forearm which still trembled from the pleasure he’d just experienced.

“Okay.” Fernando kissed her deeply once again. Apart from excusing herself to the bathroom for a few moments, the two were inseparable, naked bodies intertwine throughout the night. Neither of them wanted to sleep, they both had so much to say, yet so little time. Fernando worried if he’d closed his eyes then morning would arouse him and they’re separation would follow.

Of course, morning did come. The bustle of her attempting to prepare for the airport was only something Nando could soothe her with. Except this time, she thought she’d burst into tears at any moment knowing they’d have to say goodbye. He rode with her to the airport, carried her bags. Their connection from the night before had drew then irreversibly close once again.

As soon as the airport came into Lila’s vision, her stomach dropped. “We’re here.” She whispered, fingers sliding over Fernando’s thigh. He was still in the same clothes from last night, not that he really cared, he just wanted to be there with her. Something washed over Fernando, he borderline snatched her hand, preventing her from pulling it back.

“Come home with me.” “Fernando-” she sighed, hearing this conversation many times over. “Please. We can start another life together, put your ring back on.” She could feel the sickly feeling arise in her chest when their car pulled up.

“Nando.” Her heart became heavy and the tears in her eyes only grew further at his words. He kissed her, deeply, quickly. “I miss you.” That broke the flood gates. Her eyes began streaming as he held her tightly. The only person that could reduce him to tears was her.

“I miss you so much.” She repeated. “But I can’t, not after we lost- I just… for now. I can’t.” She almost spiralled, but a deep inhale and reminder that the driver was waiting outside the car with her bags pulled her back together. Fernando’s jaw was clenched to prevent him becoming choked up. “I’m sorry.” He stared blankly at the space between them, he’d become overwhelmed with a desperation for him back in her life. One that killed him. He began to worry they’d never be together again.

“Te esperaré...” “I will wait for you too, Nando…”

#Fernando Alonso #Fernando Alonso x OC #f1 x reader #f1 x OC #Fernando Alonso smut #F1 smut #Fernando Alonso x reader #fernando alonso x reader smut

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vettelsvee · 1 month

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FIRST VICTORY (PART 1) | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | history series masterlist

summary: sebastian gets his first pole position, while diana realizes that perhaps the world of motorsport she had idealized was not as wonderful as she had imagined. except for seb, of course, who was the one who, in part, made her continue in formula 1.

word count: 7060

warnings: curse words, bad language, mentions and act of sexism. mentions of sickness and medical terms. seb and di getting closer. just nico rosberg doing nico rosberg things (friendly reminder that whatever you read here is fiction, and nothing that happens here or how characters act is real)

taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3

¡! you can read the fanfic as diana or y/n, but the faceclaim will always be my girl emma stone :)

feedback is truly appreciated!

2008

Italian Grand Prix Autodromo Nazionale Monza

September 11 th Thursday

Monza had not welcomed them as they had hoped.

The sun had barely risen on that Thursday, marking the beginning of the Italian Grand Prix, hiding behind multiple dark gray clouds loaded with water that threatened to unleash upon the circuit at the most unexpected moment.

Diana, with her umbrella in one hand, backpack hanging from her back, and her accreditation hanging from her neck, entered the paddock with a downcast look. She had been with the Toro Rosso team for six months already, and although she knew she was living her dream of being part of the sport she loved so much and was aware from the moment she set foot in that world that it wouldn't be a bed of roses, nothing was turning out as she had initially imagined.

The first three or four Grand Prix had gone well, and they had even strengthened her bond with Sebastian due to his DNF situations. However, as the weeks passed and, with them, the months, everything started to go downhill. While initially the team seemed happy to have a girl among them, derogatory comments, an abundance of sexist jokes, and daily attitudes of the same kind became Wagner's burden. She couldn't help but feel undervalued and, above all, useless.

"I'm sure that when Diana gets promoted and becomes my engineer everyone will want her," Vettel said on one occasion when he heard a sexual proposition from one of his mechanics to another. "Trust me, Diana Wagner is going to win championships with me."

No matter how much the dyed-blonde had tried to prevent Seb from defending her to avoid drawing more attention, he didn't mind; on the contrary, he did it willingly.

"I have four amazing women in my life, and I wouldn't want them to be treated like that," the driver explained, showing a photo of his sisters and mother. "Despite being a ladies' man I know there are limits, and respect is above everything for me."

That didn't help at all as Diana ended up being relegated to minor, unimportant tasks. Suddenly, she found herself going back and forth in the paddock carrying coffees, preparing some meals and running errands for anyone, as if her only function was to be a decoration. She didn't know, but she was sure she had worked too hard to show that she deserved that opportunity more than anyone else who had applied for the scholarship. And not only that: she also tried to gain the trust and, especially, the respect of Toro Rosso members, although it seemed to have worked only with the blue-eyed blonde.

Despite proving her worth in every free practice, qualifying and race, and regardless of learning a little more every day, her senior engineer completely ignored her.

As she crossed paths with people on her way to the team's box, she reminded herself that she had arrived there on her own merits; that she had worked for years and that, if this moment was not the right one for her to shine, she would do so in the future. Patience, and especially attitude, along with luck, were the keys to success, and her father had ingrained it in her over her twenty years of life.

A group of Ferrari engineers accompanied by Felipe Massa passed by her arguing heatedly about possible strategies for Sunday's race and some configuration for the race car. As they almost always mistook her for a grid girl, Diana always took advantage of that. This time was no exception. Carefully, she began to follow them, pretending to attend a phone call to listen to as much of the conversation as possible and mentally note everything they said down. Sebastian's performance had improved since the race in Monaco thanks to some contributions she had made to Alex, the driver's engineer, who obviously took credit for it. She knew that no matter how much information she shared, it would not be acknowledged as her own, but the fact that she could help secure at least a podium for Vettel was all that mattered to her.

"Now, apart from being an aspiring intern, are you also a spy?"

Nico's voice made her come to a sudden halt, realizing she had been caught. A blush started to spread across her cheeks, accompanied by an unpleasant nervousness in her stomach.

"I was just snooping around a bit," the girl explained, growing more nervous as she saw the blonde approaching her. "I wanted to find out what's being discussed around here, that's all."

"About Ferrari's strategies, am I right?"

Diana didn't say anything, confirming Rosberg's assumption.

"That's what I like most about you, that you're determined."

"But you've barely seen me," Diana responded a bit curtly. "I just want to learn from the best to be the best, and I would do anything for it," she commented sincerely.

"Would you come with me now for a coffee?"

The young woman began to feel a shiver running down her spine, feeling uncomfortable with the German's suggestion. Every time she had had a chance to talk to the driver it had been in the same way. That had only made him gradually gain more confidence with her, and the hints became more and more direct.

"Thanks for the invitation, but I'm more of a tea girl," the girl said ironically, trying to maintain composure. "Besides, I don't know if you know, but I came to work and prove my worth, not to boost anyone's ego."

Before the Williams driver could reply, a familiar voice joined the conversation. Sometimes, Sebastian Vettel seemed like Spider-Man and appeared just when the Austrian needed him most.

"What are my eyes seeing? Nico Rosberg flirting, again, with our amazing intern?" he questioned, wrapping his arms around Diana. "Come on, lower yourself to that... I didn't expect that from you, Rosberg."

"I was just being friendly with her," the other guy tried to pretend with a smile. "Right, Di?"

Diana nodded, agreeing with him even though she knew it wasn't true. Vettel noticed how the girl's body tensed a bit due to discomfort, something that bothered him a little.

"Di?" Seb replied. "Now you're close to her?"

"Sebastian," she said, interrupting him because she was aware that if she didn't, things would escalate. "I just wanted to go for coffee, really, but I don't feel like it because I have work to do," she approached him, placing her hand on his chest, and said something in a low voice. "There's no need to make a scene."

Sebastian took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. He didn't like the intentions that many guys had with what he considered his friend, and Rosberg was no exception. He had heard many insinuations with that girl coming from many mouths, and every time someone said something he wanted to start a fight no matter how much he tried to control himself.

"Well, Nico, why don't you let Di and I go back to our garage? We need to discuss some private matters."

Nico accepted, with a mocking smile on his lips.

"Of course, I wouldn't want to interrupt whatever private thing you're going to do."

"Don't make things up, you bastard!" Wagner shouted at him as Rosberg winked at them and began to walk away briskly.

The girl thanked Sebastian mentally. Sometimes Nico could be not just a little but too heavy. It's not that she found him ugly, far from it, but she liked to get to know people before throwing herself into their arms and acting as if they had known each other their whole lives.

"Thanks for that, Seb, but I had it all under control," Diana thanked.

"Sure," the driver replied nonchalantly. "Rosberg can be a bit... let's say persistent," he explained as they walked, seemingly aimlessly. "But that doesn't mean he's not a good guy!"

"I haven't said otherwise."

Vettel stopped and looked at the girl. He barely knew her, and although it was true that in the last few weekends they had become closer, he still didn't have enough confidence to talk about certain topics...

She wasn't his close friend.

Even so, there was something she didn't know about her, but that attracted him immensely.

"Do you like Nico?" he asked without hesitation.

"What? No!" Diana shouted, attracting the attention of those around them. "How could I like him? All he does is ask me out, come up to me every time he sees me alone and invite me to his room in the Williams box! I don't want to hook up with him or whatever he has in mind!"

Sebastian started to mock her. Despite being a good girl, sometimes she seemed so innocent that it made the German feel sorry for her. He decided not to continue the conversation because he knew his temper was strong enough to tell him to fuck off.

"Will you join me for the press conference? It's in like half an hour," he commented, looking at his wristwatch.

"I thought Alex needed me to talk to him or something," the girl deflected the proposal. "Anyway, I can't even get in. I'm not a journalist."

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to pretend to be one."

Diana didn't have time to accept the invitation as the German had already gently taken her by the wrist and started walking briskly towards the room where the press conference would be held.

As soon as they arrived and entered, still holding hands and attracting some curious looks, the Austrian was amazed at the immense proportions of the place. From the outside, it seemed much smaller, but she had before her a spacious and well-lit room, with a long table and five chairs arranged on a platform in the center, where Diana supposed the drivers would sit. Behind it was the Formula 1 logo, followed by a Monza Grand Prix 2008 sign.

The driver and the intern continued walking together, still admiring the last completely stunned at the journalists, cameras and other professionals from around the world present.

"Sit wherever you want, newbie," Vettel pointed to the seats where some reporters were already sitting. "I have to pretend that I love answering questions, and you have to pretend you're the best journalist in the room. Let's get to work and then I'll invite you to whatever you want, okay?"

They both parted with a smile. Wagner proceeded to settle in one of the back rows so as not to attract too much attention. She greeted people around her with a fake smile, trying not to let them discover that she was just an intern that no one wanted.

She watched as the drivers who would attend the press, besides Seb, took their respective seats. Kimi Räikkönen appeared with a serious face, something normal for him; Fernando Alonso exuded confidence, and Lewis Hamilton was relaxed, although alert to what they might ask him: it was only his second year competing, and he had already become one of the candidates to be the world champion of the season.

Vettel, as he seemed to do in any situation, was making jokes and chatting very animatedly with some reporters, receiving reprimands from what the intern knew as his public relations, Britta Roeske.

The event's moderator introduced himself, starting the press conference. Despite already knowing them, he presented each of the drivers present, mentioning their team and asking some unimportant questions.

Sebastian, who was the last in line, seemed visibly bored and acted as such, despite the multiple glances Roeske was sending him from her seat, until it was his turn.

"Now let's move on to one of the youngest on the grid: Sebastian, what do you expect from this weekend?" the curious presenter asked. "And, most importantly, are you worried about the rain?"

The young man regained his composure and approached the microphone.

"I have no expectations: I just want to do my best and not die of boredom until I get my first victory," he commented with his characteristic humor. "Regarding the rain, it's like a surprise visit from your mother-in-law, you know? It can show up at any time, hurt you a lot, and even be uncomfortable and challenging, but you can't deny that it adds excitement," the guy got a bit more serious. "Jokes aside, I think all of us would prefer it to be dry and sunny on Sunday, but rain is also part of the show, and if it comes, I'll welcome it with open arms."

The man, after thanking Sebastian with a look, turned to the audience and opened a brief round of questions to the journalists. Surprisingly, almost all of them were directed at Sebastian, who had become a sensation after his announcement as Mark Webber's future teammate at Red Bull Racing next season.

It was normal for everyone to want to know more about that guy from Heppenheim who showed promise.

"Sebastian, do you think you could outperform any of the Ferraris and achieve a good result for Toro Rosso?"

"I don't know, it could be. What do you think, Kimi?" he laughed, looking at the Finn with humor. "Ferrari is incredible, and Monza is one of their homes. I'm here to compete and try to do my best, so I'll strive for that."

Vettel nodded slightly, thanking in a whisper and giving the floor to a blonde reporter, with light eyes, whose name he thought he remembered being Sally.

"Vettel, next year you'll join Red Bull Racing. Anything you can tell us?"

"The best is yet to come," he replied, winking at her. "I hope to see you then. You know I'm always ready to answer your questions, Sal."

The questions continued, and they were even directed at the other three men accompanying Seb. Some were more technical, and others focused on the driver's mentality or the team's strategies, but that didn't prevent Wagner from getting bored. Throughout the forty-five minutes it lasted, she paid attention and took notes in a notebook she always carried with her because any information, no matter how minimal It was, would help her learn more about that extensive sport. Being there was a privilege she never thought of, so she couldn't waste anything because she didn't know when she would have the chance again.

Time passed faster than she initially thought. When the one who had directed the whole event, named Carlo, declared the session over, Diana remained somewhat mesmerized watching the journalists and photographers begin to gather their belongings and leave the press room, in an orderly manner for security reasons. She thought about staying a little longer, but she ended up succumbing to the pressure, getting up and heading towards the exit while keeping her gaze on Sebastian, who was saying goodbye to his colleagues.

Diana decided to wait for the driver at the entrance, but seeing that everyone, except him, had left, she went to the Toro Rosso box hoping he would be waiting for her there. The girl didn't know what to expect from the blonde, but being stood up after waiting for an hour and a half wasn't among her possibilities.

Although she didn't expect much from the German either. [...]

September 13th Saturday

Even though the pain Diana felt in her stomach was still quite noticeable, she had to put on a brave face and act as if everything was perfectly fine. She knew there were sick leave allowances even for interns, but the girl didn't want nor could she afford to risk losing it all over a simple stomachache.

The day before, Friday, she didn't take part in the two free practice sessions because a noticeable discomfort in her stomach began to manifest in the early hours. Initially, she attributed it to the disappointment she had felt after being stood up by the German; when vomiting started and diarrhea set in, she didn't hesitate to go down to the hotel lobby, ask for the nearest hospital, and call a taxi.

"I'm afraid to say that it might be gastroenteritis, Miss Wagner," the emergency room doctor informed her after running some tests. "Refrain from your work for a few days and stick to a bland diet."

The cake that Amelie had made for her birthday and that her father had insisted on keeping in the refrigerator for five days, despite being quite poorly made, seemed to be the culprit of her indigestion.

There was barely half an hour left for the qualifying session to begin. Quickly, she passed her accreditation through the scanner as fast as she could, holding onto her belongings tightly, and ran to the Toro Rosso garage as fast as she could, trying to stave off the urge to vomit. She had a terrible night, battling constant stabbing pains and nausea, making her feel like a pregnant woman. If it hadn't been for a pill that had been prescribed to her after insisting a lot, her diarrhea would probably still be continuing at that moment. She clenched her teeth tightly to avoid vomiting right there, and she was grateful that it was raining because her umbrella made her less noticeable.

The moment she saw her workspace, she hurried even more, closing the umbrella and placing it in a stand at the entrance. The looks were already starting to intimidate her, but she didn't feel panic until she reached the area where Alex, Seb's track engineer and, let's say... her boss was.

"Where the hell were you yesterday, Wagner?"

Fiori quickly took off his headphones, leaving them around his neck, and turned to look at Diana sternly. His expression showed a mix of anger and annoyance, and the girl knew that nothing good was coming because this forty-year-old was not particularly known for his empathy and kindness.

"I informed a public relations girl you have around here, I think her name is Martha or something like that," the girl explained, trying to justify herself, "and I also brought the medical certificate. I've had gastroenteritis since Friday morning, and I went to the emergency room. The doctor advised me to take a few days off, but I decided to come today."

The man reluctantly took the paper and examined it thoroughly, looking for any sign that this information might be false. He couldn't believe that a young girl was there; let alone, that he had to endure her.

Although what Alex Fiori hated most about her was that Sebastian praised her so much.

"Are you feeling better now?" the Italian inquired, still absorbed in the medical lines.

"Yes, a little, thank you," the blonde sincerely thanked. "Really, Mr. Fiori, I'm so sorry I couldn't attend yesterday, and I'm even more sorry they didn't inform you. I didn't have anyone else's contact."

The man took the paper grudgingly and examined it thoroughly, looking for any reflection that this information might be false. He couldn't believe that a girl was there; let alone that he had to endure her.

"Let's hope you don't miss again for nonsense like this," he replied indifferently, tearing the paper aggressively. "I need you to be here and fulfill your responsibilities. That's why we tolerate you and pay you every month."

Diana just nodded, threatening tears to escape from her eyes.

"Of course," the girl tried to declare. "I promise I won't miss a day again, Mr. Fiori."

"Don't make promises you won't keep, Wagner," he bluntly replied as he headed towards Vettel. "Now just sit down and stay quiet during qualifying. I don't want to hear you."

The girl felt a knot forming in her throat as she watched her boss approach her pilot. She tried to maintain composure, but it was impossible: she shed a tear easily and wiped them away as quickly as she could to avoid drawing even more attention. She felt frustrated and powerless because she couldn't defend herself or express what she felt in those moments.

She did what his engineer instructed him. She grabbed her headphones, sat a bit farther away than usual, and started watching Q1 on the screen in front of him. It had only been about five minutes, and Alex's comments to Vettel were already resonating in his ears.

"Come on, Seb, you have to try to nail a perfect lap on the first try. We need to secure a spot in Q2."

"Copy," the German replied.

From her seat, Diana could see Sebastian's engineer gesturing wildly with his hands every now and then, upset with any maneuver the driver made. She observed from her monitor the laps he was doing: gradually, his times were improving, and although his performance was not the best, combined with the ineffective car, it was surprising to the Austrian.

"Seb, you're improving," Alex informed him as optimistically as possible. "We just have one chance to complete a lap, so try to concentrate as much as possible."

"Copy."

Sebastian pushed the car to its maximum, hugging every inch of the track without exceeding the track limits. Wagner was amazed, and she could hardly look away.

Fiori informed Seb that, for now, they were through to Q2, although it was still necessary for the German to extract a bit more speed from the car to ensure participation in the next qualifying round by a few milliseconds.

Every second that passed felt eternal for Wagner, who was holding her breath with excitement. Finally, when Vettel moved on to Q2, she could breathe easy. In the garage, cheers of excitement echoed, something that made her laugh because, in reality, he had only advanced about five positions on the grid, not a significant achievement, but a good merit given the ineffective car they had.

After a quick analysis of data and preparation for the Q2 strategy, of which Diana had not been a part but had listened attentively, as if she didn't care, it began.

The girl had heard that they had decided to stick with the wet tires they had used in the previous session. It seemed like a mistake to her because a majority of the other drivers would be using new pairs. Therefore, when they saw Sebastian's times, despite being good, starting to slow down compared to others, they hurried to call him to pit stop. Diana couldn't help but laugh. She wasn't the most qualified to judge, as she wasn't an expert, but if they paid more attention to her, such things wouldn't happen so often.

The girl still had a long way to go, but let's say Wagner saw a few DNFs coming and despite sending direct messages warning, they ignored her.

Maybe that's why her boss disliked her so much.

"We can't afford mistakes, Seb!" Alex shouted over the headset as the German went out on the track again. "You have only one damn chance, so I hope you make the most of it."

Sebastian sighed, possibly a little tired of the man's comments.

"Alex, I know. I'm trying my best."

Diana felt the tension escalating in the box. Bourdais had been eliminated from Q1, and Seb was their only hope. In those moments, every lap was crucial because telemetry warned them that there were only tenths of a second between drivers, making the competition even more fierce.

The shouts continued exchanging between the engineer and the driver, and the girl began to sympathize with Vettel. While she understood the position Alex had to maintain, at the same time, she was aware that he was risking his performance, annoying him and adding even more pressure to the equation.

"You can't just make rookie mistakes at this stage, Vettel! I need you to perform a fast lap. Take advantage now that there's no traffic."

The guy just accepted the order, frustrated with the behavior he was getting from his engineer. It wasn't the first time he had spoken to him like that, but it definitely seemed like his typical qualifying anger was exacerbated by the absence of a certain girl the day before.

Sebastian continued pressing as much as he could, cutting every corner and straightening every turn, trying not to make too many corrections due to the rain, and even overtaking those who were in his way on his lap, even when they were at high speeds and he could risk losing control of the vehicle.

Diana began to feel panic at that moment. He shouldn't risk so much because he could crash or go off the track at any moment.

But we're talking about Sebastian Vettel. Of course, he would try to be the best.

When the session timer hit zero, and the guy crossed the checkered flag, he immediately found himself in the third position. Diana felt immense relief and also a subdued excitement, seeing that Seb had advanced to the final qualifying session.

The path to the pole position was close, and everyone at Toro Rosso was aware of it. Now, more than ever, the Austrian could sense how tense her boss was. The good thing was that his nerves seemed to be under control, as all he did was send encouragement and opponent data to the German.

"Come on, Seb, the pole is yours! Just concentrate and don't think about anything or anyone else."

"Thanks for reminding me, Alex. I was already starting to think about what I would do tomorrow when I won the race," Vettel replied sarcastically.

Diana couldn't help but silently laugh at Sebastian's comment. She didn't understand how, despite the pressure, he always found a way to maintain his sense of humor.

"Sebastian, don't say or do stupid things," Alex scolded him. "We need a bit more time to secure P1 for tomorrow. Hamilton is getting closer to your times quite rapidly."

"I'm trying my fucking best, okay?"

The tension increased with each passing second, and Diana couldn't take her eyes off the screen, following every move the German made on the track. The girl silently prayed, hoping that everything would finally go well for both the guy and her team.

"Seb, the pole position is yours!" the engineer shouted, gripping the microphone tightly as he stood up. "You're the best, you've done incredible!"

The girl felt a wave of joy and, why not say it, relief, upon hearing that Vettel had secured the first position on the grid for tomorrow's race. She was impressed by the guy's skills: it was undeniable that the Toro Rosso didn't measure up to other cars, so this was an impressive achievement and, especially, a reason to celebrate for the whole team.

All team members started celebrating immediately, leaving all their belongings on any surface they found on their way to parc fermé. Everyone was ecstatic, and Diana was no exception. With a smile that covered her entire face, the girl made a motion to get up to join her colleagues and, above all, congratulate the driver on his first major achievement in Formula 1.

Before she could even get up from her seat, Fiori was already in front of her, arms crossed, giving her a cold and disdainful look.

"Where do you think you're going, Wagner? I hope it's not where I think it is. You better stay here. You have no place in the celebration."

Diana felt a bit confused and, above all, hurt by the man's comment. She was aware that she wasn't a favorite among some staff members, including Alex, but the way he belittled her made her feel like garbage.

"Mr. Fiori, I'm also part of the team," the blonde commented. "I would like to congratulate Sebastian on his achievement."

"You don't need to congratulate him, that's the business of the team members, not interns like you. Just stay here and clean everything up. I don't care what time you finish, I want everything to look perfect tomorrow."

The intern nodded with a lump in her throat. She wanted to shout a thousand things at that Italian man who made her feel worse and was, in part, the main reason she wanted to give up on everything she had ever dreamed of. It was clear that all kinds of sexist comments bothered her. The treatment she received, and that she had just received, as if she were a mere servant, made her feel like she was living in Cinderella's story, except that she didn't have evil stepmothers or stepsisters, and of course not a prince charming to save her or, at least, help her.

Hours passed and the rain continued to fall vigorously. Despite this, the party for Toro Rosso did not stop and, as she heard from some people who approached to take their personal belongings, it would move to a nearby bar.

Diana felt a little more at ease when everyone left. Slowly, she went from picking up tools, office supplies and even some pieces of the cars, to sweeping and mopping the floor, ending up cleaning the bathrooms, which seemed not to have received bleach since they were created. It might seem a bit strange, but that was serving the girl to clear her mind and forget everything she had been told and done over six arduous months.

Feeling displaced was an understatement, and she knew she had to do something about it. Her stubbornness and, especially, the fear of losing everything made the Austrian not dare to challenge Alex's authority. She feared that if she didn't comply with what was asked of her, she would be kicked out of her position in the internship program, and an opportunity like that would be hard to come by again.

In those moments, surrounded by the noise of falling drops and the hum of the air carrying a fallen leaf from the trees, she realized she was alone and always would be.

She was the only thing she had in her life, and she had to protect it; breaking down or giving up at the slightest thing was an unviable option.

She had to fulfill a dream and couldn't afford to believe the comments she received every day because, in the end, each and every one of them was a lie.

"Hey, are you here?"

The young woman turned towards the garage entrance and saw Sebastian dressed in a gray team-logo T-shirt, jeans, and a completely wet umbrella in his right hand. His gaze seemed sad, and he appeared concerned for the girl in front of him.

"You shouldn't stay alone here, especially with this shity weather," the driver declared entering the place.

Wagner tried to force a smile, although she couldn't pretend in front of the only person she didn't consider a threat there. Her tears threatened to escape, but she controlled herself enough not to break down.

"I'm fine, Sebastian," the blonde tried to disguise. "Don't worry about me. I just have a couple of things left to pick up, and then I'll head back to the hotel."

"I know you're very smart, that's why I know you know, as much as I do, that you shouldn't be doing this," the guy spat out seriously. "It's not your responsibility: there are people from the cleaning department who take care of it." He approached the girl and embraced her. "You should be at the dive bar we were at, drinking tequila shots and celebrating with the rest of the team that I got a pole position."

"And the first one, by the way," Diana received an unfriendly look from the German, hinting that she should stop making excuses. "Fiori told me to stay here, and I didn't want to intrude on that celebration that seems so important to keep exclusively for team members."

Sebastian felt even worse for the girl. He had heard through his radio everything Alex had said to her before the start of the qualifying, and, even though he was aware that she had been mistreated and belittled by her engineer for a few months now, he now felt very guilty about it. Also, leaving her hanging because he got caught up in a phone conversation didn't help his mood.

"You don't have to listen to Alex. You're part of the team no matter what they tell you, and you have the right to come with us."

"Sebastian," the girl lowered her gaze, trying to calm herself, "I don't want to cause trouble or bother anyone. I'm here to learn and be useful."

"You are useful, Di," Vettel put a hand on her shoulder and lifted her chin to make her look at him, "it's just that no one, apart from me, has seen what you're capable of yet."

The Austrian could see sincerity in Sebastian Vettel's eyes. She was still a little hurt because she had been waiting for him for hours, excited because finally, she could do something different than just going to the hotel, but she knew that there was finally someone who supported her, and, above all, that she wasn't alone.

Perhaps, Wagner thought, she finally had a friend.

"Thank you, Seb... Sebastian, I mean," she expressed with gratitude, correcting herself quickly.

"You can call me Seb. My inner circle calls me like that," the driver explained, "all thanks to my sister Lara. She's ten, but if you saw her with Mick... They seem like two completely different people despite being born just a year apart."

Diana didn't understand much but she just nodded, confirming what the driver had said. She was almost finished mopping the floor, and that meant it was time to take her belongings and go back to her hotel. Tomorrow was race day, and they had to be ready early in the morning.

Both of them made sure everything was perfect and headed toward the exit of the paddock at a calmer pace than they should have. The night was colder than usual, bothering Diana a bit, who was surprised at Sebastian's ability to endure such low temperatures.

Without a doubt, that guy surprised her quite a bit.

"Are you leaving now?"

Vettel stopped a few meters from the girl, looking at her intently. He was heading to the parking lot, and he thought Wagner would too. It was not just a matter of weather conditions, but also the late hours of the night.

"Yes," Diana objected. "My hotel is about half an hour from here. If I hurry, I'm sure I'll be there by ten-something."

"No way you're going to go alone so late," the German replied. "There are a lot of crazy people out there and I don't want anything to happen to my favorite paddock girl before I win my first race."

"Seb, I'm serious," she thanked him, "but I can do it for myself. I do this every weekend, and nothing has happened to me."

Sebastian tilted his head, imperceptible at the words coming out of the girl's mouth.

"No, nothing has happened to you yet," he insisted. "From now on, I don't care what you say or any excuse you come up with, you're going to have a chauffeur and a bodyguard."

Wagner reluctantly accepted her companion's offer, knowing that arguing with him made no sense.

The car journey was enjoyable, and deep down, Diana was thankful that Sebastian had insisted on taking her to the hotel. The night was darker than usual, and the rain had left many streams and puddles of water that were hard to avoid walking. The temperature had dropped noticeably, something she could feel from the cold air seeping through the windows of the BMW that Vettel was driving.

"Thanks for bringing me, Seb," the girl said from the passenger seat. "I have to admit you were right. It would have taken me much longer if I had walked."

The blonde didn't say anything. Instead, he turned on the radio, and a soft melody, the first chords of Viva la Vida by Coldplay, began to resonate throughout the vehicle. Diana, who declared herself an absolute fan of the band, just started humming the song quietly, feeling embarrassed about her own voice.

The driver, glancing at the girl but keeping his eyes on the road, couldn't help but be moved by the scene he was witnessing. He didn't know Wagner well, but he knew she was a girl worth getting to know, and over time, they would become good friends.

"Do you like this song?" Sebastian asked Diana.

The girl just nodded and said it was one of her favorites. Vettel, on the other hand, turned up the volume of the song, which was now at the chorus.

"Come on, sing!" Seb encouraged her. "No need to be shy. It's just you and me."

Diana began to let herself be carried away by the confidence that Sebastian had inspired in her and started singing softly, letting the music fill her. Gradually, her singing voice became louder and more confident, leaving her shyness behind.

"See? I told you, you have an incredible voice!" Sebastian affirmed, utterly captivated by the girl's voice.

Blondie blushed at her companion's comment, but she continued singing enthusiastically. Soon enough, Seb joined the impromptu concert, which, along with the sound of rain hitting the metal roof, mixed with the music and their laughter, created an atmosphere they had never experienced before. They had only known each other for a few months, but at that moment, they felt like they had known each other their whole lives.

The car finally stopped in front of the hotel entrance. Quickly, they were greeted by a valet to whom Sebastian handed over the keys and a tip, which was greatly appreciated. Before Diana could get out of the vehicle, the driver rushed to go and open her door, a gesture that surprised the girl quite a bit. She knew about Vettel's flirtatious side, but the romantic side, not so much.

"Well, thanks for bringing me, Seb. It's time for me to go to sleep because, in case you forgot, I have to be well-rested to see you win your first race."

The German laughed at the clarification, although a bit sad to have to say goodbye to Diana already.

"None of that," he shook his head, "I want to make sure my Cinderella gets safely to her quarters."

The young woman nodded, and both started walking toward the hotel entrance. Throughout the walk to Wagner's room, silence settled between them, and neither seemed to want to break it. They hadn't spent the whole day together, but the hours they had shared had been incredible, and now neither wanted to say goodbye to the other.

As soon as they reached room 374, both knew that the farewell was imminent. Diana, who refused to accept that, opened the door and let the boy in, who accepted without any hesitation.

"Hey, Seb, about yesterday..."

Sebastian felt embarrassed. He knew he shouldn't have left her hanging, but the call lasted longer than expected, no matter how much he insisted that he already had plans with someone.

"Don't worry, Di," Vettel interrupted. "It's entirely my fault, and I apologize. An old friend called me, and I lost track of time."

Wagner took off her shoes and sat on her bed while continuing to listen to the blonde. Maybe it affected him that she had stood him up, but in the end, being so absent-minded, the same would have happened to her if she had gotten caught up in a conversation with her father and her sister.

"What's your friend's name?," Diana wanted to know.

"Hanna."

"Well, Hanna is a lucky girl," the blonde said candidly, ignoring the discomfort the guy was showing. "I bet we all would all like to have a friend like you: you can drive a car at around 300 kilometers per hour, you endure the cold perfectly, and you know more than one language, I wish I could!"

Sebastian laughed, although the guilt of hiding Hanna's true identity was eating at him. He wanted to be honest with Diana, and at the same time, he wanted to continue respecting his girlfriend's wish that no one knew about them, for now.

"But didn't you know more than one language?," Seb wanted to know.

"Yes: German, English, Spanish, and, if you consider it a language, Catalan."

"You're a catch, and I'm tremendously grateful to have you on my team, Di," Vettel asserted. "Fiori and everyone else may be jerks to you, but rest assured that next year, when I move to Red Bull, I'll fight to have you come with me," Diana looked at him in amazement. "No kidding, okay? I've talked to Britta and we've set in my pre-contract that one of the requirements is your transfer next year, with me. I have to talk to Horner about it," he declared, "but I know he'll be more than happy to agree."

Diana paled at that. Sometimes she forgot that her path in the next season was a bit uncertain, but she tried not to think about it and ruin moments like the one she was experiencing now.

She didn't know if she should ask, but Wagner decided to take the risk:

"Would you like to stay here, with me, for a while? We can keep talking or watch something on TV, but if you're too tired I understand if you want to go back to your hotel."

"Are you sure of what you're saying, Diana Wagner?"

"Absolutely, Sebastian Vettel."

Both young people spent almost until the early hours of the morning talking mainly about the race the next day, exchanging some strategies that, undoubtedly, couldn't be taken into account due to Diana's position as an intern. Seb, who had discovered that his new friend was more than just a pretty face in the first days of her arrival, realized that she knew more than she seemed, and many of her ideas were a thousand times better than Alex's.

They continued chatting until, around one thirty in the morning, exhaustion made Sebastian fall asleep on Diana's bed, who followed suit shortly after.

Maybe Hanna Prater would never find out that, the night before Sebastian's first victory, he spent it with the love of his life. His true love. They didn't do anything beyond talking, but they did get to know each other a little more, and maybe they began to develop feelings for each other. Although it was still early to know for sure.

However, there is a very famous saying that is often said, and that both young people in that hotel room had overlooked: never say never.

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warmaidensrevenge · 3 months

Text

It's not a never.

Pairings: Eddie x fem!best friend Plus size reader

A/N: Happy Sunday loves. Here I present the final part in this series. It's a bit steamy if you ask me. So ready your naughty bits. As always thanks for reading. Please feel free to share and comment your thoughts. It really gives me a boost of dopamine that I crave. So anything is awesome. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A huge thank you and credit to the original posters and artists.

Word count: 3,824

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Angst, language, sexual implications, sexual situations, p&v, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex and mentions of alcohol use. Not proof read

Part 4: Right now

Summary: Time goes by. But feelings still remain.

The farewell was in fact unbearable. It hurt Eddie like hell. But what hurt the most was a year after. College life became hectic for you. Which caused letters and phone calls to lessen.

Then the guys got a big break. It was a small record label with very little rapport. But it was one he had a good feeling about. They made a deal for one full album and a few shows to promote it.

It was a very busy year that turned into two. Then three.

Before any of them knew it, they were playing sold out shows.

Things were working out. His dreams were coming true. But he never forgot about that girl with the sweet little smile. Though it has been some time since he saw it. He was fortunate enough to see it again one summer night in that third year.

The band was performing at one of their favorite places one hot night. They loved it because it was on a rooftop. Where they could see most of the city.

Tonight though, Eddie could only focus on the pretty girl with the small smile he almost forgot if it weren't for the prom picture he kept in his wallet.

The second the set was over, he jumped off the stage and ran to you. Obviously dodging the groupies and fans asking for autographs.

You yelped when he embraced you. Surprised when he picked you up a little.

“ Oh shit! I can't believe this!” He said when he planted you back down.

You giggled. “Hi Eddie.”

He leaned back a little and grinned like crazy. “ When did-” He was cut off by the rest of his buddies.

He took a few steps back to let everyone have their turn with you. To be honest he needed the minute to get over the shock of seeing you.

One thing led to another and you guys went out for drinks then ended up back at their apartment.

The whole night you guys were hanging off each other. Loving glances were shared and every word you said sounded like a love spell to him. And that didn't end when it was just you two.

Everyone else went to bed and he wasn't tired at all. So why end the night? Who knows when he was gonna see you again.

“ Ehem. So Eddie?” You said, putting your half empty glass on the coffee table. “ How many times do I have to squeeze your thigh to get you to kiss me?”

He laughed nervously.

You gave him a sexy sly grin. “ Common I've been flirting with you all night.”

He cleared his throat and smirked while you moved closer to him. It was true. You were flirting. He was too. And he shouldn't have.

You reached up to move his bangs to the side. After you rested your hand much closer to his genitals.

He quickly put a hand on yours. Just in case you decided to touch him further. “ Ummm…” he mumbled and met your beautiful eyes.

If things were different, he wouldn't question a damn thing and take you right here and now. Maybe even on the floor and the kitchen counter. Definitely fuck you in the shower and again on his bed. But he couldn't.

He exhaled. “ I'm kinda seeing someone.”

You practically jumped back. Pulling your hand away in the process. He could see how red you were getting from embarrassment.

“ Crap! Ed- I'm…uhhhh I'm sorry. I should go.”

You stood up and without thinking he grabbed your arm and stood up too.

“ No! I mean. Please don't go.”

You looked at him and shook your head. “ No I should. I've embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime.”

You tried to go but he gently pulled you back and cupped the sides of your face.

“ Common kid. Don't be embarrassed. I was flirting too.” He hung his head a little. “ I shouldn't have but…it's you.”

He felt your warm soft hands on his. Making him meet your eyes.

“ Eddie I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come and -”

“ No. You did nothing wrong. It was me. I should've said I was seeing someone sooner…but seriously, don't go. I-I've missed you…So fuckin much.”

You bit your lip and nodded. “ Okay. But you have to sit on the other side of the couch.”

He dropped his hands and held onto yours. “ Yeah, or I'm gonna have to make a phone call and become single.”

Your eyes widened. “ I'm flattered, but probably don't do that.”

You both grinned at one another before returning to the couch. Talking until the sun came up.

For Eddie it was heartbreaking saying goodbye to you that next morning. You were still that funny, sweet, affectionate girl from highschool. You were still the person he could talk to for hours without a care in the world. And he remembered the love that he still had for you.

What he learned last night was that you were so busy with school that you didn't have time to date. He also found out that college was much harder than you thought it was gonna be. So hard that you changed your major twice.

Eventually, you found something you really saw yourself doing. Career wise that is. And he was happy for you. Just like how you were happy for him and the guys.

Still, there was still something between you two. Something he wished he could explore. Something that just flowed with you. It was as if you guys picked up from where you left off.

It irked him. It bothered him so much that he actually opened up to his girlfriend about it.

At first she was quiet, then she got pissed. Eventually, she calmed down and broke up with him. And to be honest it didn't really affect him that much. Sure he liked her. She was fun to be around. But after talking to you, he realized he never had a decent conversation with her. It was just partying and sex mostly.

It wasn't her fault though. It was him. He never cared to open up to anyone besides his friends. Maybe it was because he thought no one would understand or get him. Get his quirks or quips. They probably wouldn't get his music tastes or like his nerdy side. Or maybe he didn't want anyone to. Perhaps it was because he still had hope for you. Hope that was instilled in him over the best pancakes in the world.

Either way it would be another 4 years until he would see you again.

…

Jeff was getting married. To Connie, in Hawkins. Everyone was invited and Eddie, Gareth and Grant were his groomsmen. They were all his best men cuz he couldn't choose one.

Which was such a grueling task. Helping with the wedding and planning a bachelor party took up a lot of time.

But besides all that, Eddie was looking forward to seeing one guest. One very important guest. The pretty girl he's been corresponding to for the past four years.

He got in touch after you left New York. And kept up contact. He didn't want to disconnect again. Lose you again.

Though nothing was ever said about getting together, he anticipated that after the wedding he was gonna leave with you. Finally getting to that right now you had mentioned seven years ago.

He was near the entrance of the church, saying his hellos with the rest of the wedding party when he saw you.

Everything around him seemed to slow down as you exited the car and fixed your royal blue dress. You looked around and smiled at the people you knew. Then you went to help your mom out of the car.

He absolutely could not look away. You were a knockout. Absolutely gorgeous.

What were the chances he could sneak you out of the party and make love somewhere? Maybe he could convince you to leave early.

He suddenly felt a jab in the ribs.

“ Ouch! What the fu-” he groaned as he looked at Gareth who was nodding towards Jeff's grandma. “ Oh right!” He uttered, holding out his elbow for her. “ Hello there young lady, I am to escort you to your VIP spot.”

She hit him with an ohh you and took his arm. He looked back to see if he could catch your eye. But it wasn't until the ceremony that he did.

With a big smile you lifted your hand. Giving him a little wave. He smirked and looked down. Continuing down the aisle.

Damn! He thought. He really wanted you to be a part of the wedding party.

Originally you were, but you had just started a new job and couldn't get away for rehearsals or any planning. So you opted to only be a guest. Which sucked for him because now he had to look at the happy couple instead of staring at you.

Once he got to the altar he met your gaze again. He knew he must look crazy grinning the way he was. But he didn't care. The girl he was in love with was in the same town, at the same place he was. And he was gonna make sure he left with you.

The vows and I do’s were said and the pastor gave the bride and groom the go ahead for a kiss.

Eddie looked over at you and you had tears of joy falling from your eyes. He pulled out his handkerchief and took a few steps towards you. Asking for the person sitting in front of you to hand it off.

You blushed and wiped the tears away while he went back to his spot. Gareth nudged him, but he didn't care. He had to make sure you were good.

At this point he would do anything for you. He would give anything to be with you. He'd say anything and everything he could just to see you smile. And for a second he pictured what his life would be like with you.

Applause broke out and he clapped along as Jeff and Connie walked back down the aisle together. Once they were at the end, the guys and bridesmaids followed.

He looked at you again and you were talking to your dad. However, you met his eyes as he passed and mouthed a thank you.

He nodded and planned on circling back around so that he could get to you. Unfortunately, he had to go in the limo as soon as they walked out.

Apparently word mysteriously got out that Jeff was getting married. So there were paparazzi and a handful of fans waiting outside the chapel.

It was a good thing that they had security on standby just in case this happened.

Everyone was escorted into the car and rushed off.

Jeff was pissed but Connie calmed him down. Saying that to not let it ruin their day.

Eddie smiled to himself. He was happy for his friend. Jeff had found the girl he was meant to be with. Even with the band getting bigger and the crazy schedules. One of his best friends got to spend the rest of his life with someone who calmed him. Who accepted him for all that he is and truly made him happy.

Eddie was a little envious of it. Still, he was completely overjoyed for his buddy.

He wanted that. More than anything, he wanted you. So it was his prerogative to be with you.

Everyone had to show their invitations to get into the dance hall. But once in, the music was going and drinks were being served.

Eddie waited patiently by the door. Nearly jumping up and down. Excited to finally get to talk to you.

While giving security your invitation you locked eyes with him and smiled from ear to ear.

You looked away for a second then followed your parents in.

He said hello to everyone as they made their way down the line to the newly Weds. Finally it was your dad's turn. They shook hands and your mom was next.

“ Why hello there, gorgeous. You are a vision.”

Victoria blushed and gave him a playful smack. “ Stop it.”

He laughed and gave her a hug.

At last, it was your turn.

“ Hi Eddie.”

He stood there with his lips together and an eyebrow raised. Giving you his flirtatious smile. “ Hi baby.”

You tilted your head to the side and raised both brows. “ Baby?”

He beamed at you and grabbed your hand. Pulling you closer to him. “ Yeah. You're my baby girl now.”

Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a long warm hug. Rocking you from side to side. Making you laugh.

Grant cleared his throat. “ Alright Munson, you're holding up the line.”

You pulled away but he didn't want to let you go. He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it. His eyes never left you as you finally made it down to Jeff and Connie.

He smiled as you took Connie's hand and twirled her around. Clearly admiring how beautiful she looked in her gown. Then you gave her hug. Moving on to the groom. He chuckled seeing you and Jeff do your nerdy handshake before hugging.

Afterwards, everyone sat down to eat. Eddie of course didn't want to sit with the rest of the party. Not while you were just a few feet away. He grabbed his plate and his beer and went to sit next to you.

“ Eddie…Connie's is gonna kill you.” You warned.

He looked up at the head table and saw Jeff and Connie just enamored with each other. Not really paying attention to anything or anyone else but each other for that matter.

He put a hand on the back of your chair and scooted closer. “ I don't think they care.”

He watched you as you glanced at your friends and smiled.

“ Awww I love them.”

He reached up and moved your hair behind your shoulder. Causing you to look at him. “ Want to get out of here?”

You jerked your head back. “ Dude! It's our best friend's wedding.”

As the night progressed you guys were practically inseparable. You danced, drank, and talked. It was as if nothing had changed between you two. He made you laugh and you made him nervous.

It felt right.

Even the approving nods he got from his friends and family assured him this was it. He could do this with you.

Your parents were about ready to leave a couple hours later and you along with them. What could he do to get you to stay?

“ I-I can get you a ride home later if you want.” He offered.

You shook your head. “ No, I have some work to do so I better get going.”

He frowned. “ But we hardly got to hang out.”

You looked down, clearly to him, trying to think of something. When he came up with something first.

“ I uhh I should probably try and find a hotel for tonight.”

You met his eyes with yours. “ Why?”

He nudged his head towards the door. Where there were paparazzi hanging out with cameras at the ready. “ I was gonna stay with my uncle, but I don't want those guys to bother him.”

“O-oh… ummm well you know my parents still have the pull out in the basement. I could...if you want, I could sneak you out? But what about everyone else?”

He shrugged. To hell with them for the night. “ They're adults, they can figure out something I'm sure.”

You softly laughed. “ Alright. How about you go out the service entrance and we’ll circle around for you?”

He smirked. “ Let's go.”

He was laying there in his boxers trying to figure out how to sneak past your parents room and get into your bedroom. Sure it was probably a stupid idea to try and have sex while your parents were across the hall. However he needed you. He craved your lips, and your warmth. He wanted your body next to his.

So he decided to grab something to drink, then see if your parents had gone to bed.

What he found was even better.

You were in the kitchen grabbing a Popsicle. Wearing nothing but a long shirt and tube socks.

When you turned around you jumped. “ Eddie!” You half whispered.

He grinned. “ Sorry baby. Was thirsty.”

He went for a glass to pour himself some tap water. Paying attention to your movements. You had gone to sit at the table and started sucking on the ice cream. All the while reading a manuscript.

He gulped down his drink and went to sit next to you. Pulling the chair as close to you as possible.

You did your best to ignore him and his advances. But the way he played with your hair made you shift closer to him.

You had gotten so overcome by his light touch on your thigh that you squeezed your legs shut. You then flipped the page you were working on and licked the Popsicle that was melting all over your hand. Some of the sweet syrup dripped down your chin. And before you could wipe it away he grabbed your hand with one arm and lightly held your chin between his index finger and thumb with the other. He then licked a fat strip from the underside of your chin up to your bottom lip.

He smirked to himself hearing your breath hitch. He had you right where he wanted.

He stood up and grabbed your hand. Stealing your sweet treat and finishing it off before leading you down to the basement. Of course locking the door behind you.

When he got you on the bed, he finally took that kiss he'd been dying for all day and everyday for the past seven years

Wet and needy. Tongues dancing together. Exploring tenaciously. With hands doing the same.

He started needing your breast and was surprised by something hard. Curious, he went under the shirt and felt two small metal balls on either side of your hardened nipple.

He groaned against your lips. “ Fuck baby. I like this.”

You laughed softly and whispered. “ I knew you would.”

He grinned while he played with your piercing. After a bit he kissed his way down your body until he reached your underwear. But instead of taking them off. He moved the damp cloth to the side and spread you a part.

He was addicted as soon as his tongue touched you. The sweet, sweet nectar that poured from you drove him mindless. But even more so feeling your hand get lost in his curls as the other covered your mouth. Trying to conceal your pleasure.

He stared up at you, enjoying your contorted face as he sucked and licked and swallowed like there was no tomorrow.

Then he added fingers. Doing a come hither motion. Wasn't long after that. Your body trembled as an orgasm hit. Your pussy throbbed around his fingers. Coating them generously with your wetness.

He waited patiently for you to come down before climbing back up your body and crashing his lips into yours. And when he did you sucked in his bottom lip. Causing him to push his hardened length against your soaked undergarments.

You pushed him up off of you and got on your knees before him. He watched in awe as you wrapped your hair up and freed his cock from its cotton prison.

You teased him at first. Giving his head little kitten licks and kisses. It was maddening. Feeling your slick tongue swirl around the tip before retreating back into your mouth.

“ Baby please!” He begged.

You looked up with darkened eyes and a less than angelic smile. “ Shhh. You have to be quiet.”

He pouted. Pleading you with his eyes.

Then you did it. You took the whole damn thing. Making him reach for the back of your head and lifting his hips to go deeper.

The hum in your throat had his eyes rolling back and toes curled until they hurt.

A few seconds passed by and he felt your throat close around him as you started to choke. He loosened his grip and let you back off.

He opened his eyes and focused on you. Watching you catch your breath before taking him in again. This time not so deep. Adding your hand into the mix.

It was fucking amazing. Every slurp, every gag, every teasing lick around his balls nearly had him cumming. Even more so when you forced him in every once every other stroke. Building up his confidence and his orgasm.

“ Sh-shit baby…got-gotta stop.”

You let him go with a small pop and had a concerned look in your eyes.“ Everything okay?”

He licked his lips and swallowed. “ Yeah. Fuckin perfect. Just don't wanna cum yet.”

He leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss while helping you up.

You stood before him and used his shoulders for balance as he peeled off your panties.

Once they were at your feet you kicked them off and straddled him. Slowly lowering yourself on his shaft.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes screwed shut and his tip pushed through.

“ OH MY GOD!” He moaned.

Your warm tight pussy clinged to him. Hugging him like no other has before. Feeling you flutter around him as you rocked back and forth had him focusing on not cumming.

He buried his face in your bosom and concentrated on his target. That one special spot that made you cry out his name. That spot that not only drove you over the edge but made him see heaven.

Sure enough he found it. But at this angle he couldn't touch it as much and he wanted to.

So he wrapped his arms around you and held on tightly as he flipped you over on your back.

You giggled in the process and stole a kiss and he repositioned himself. When he looked at you, you were grinning up at him.

“ Oh Eddie. So serious.”

He narrowed his eyes at you and rammed himself in. Earning that yelp/ moan. He reached up to cover your mouth as he plowed into you.

“ This. Is. Serious.” He grunted.

Your eyes got lost in the back of your head as he thrusted hard and steady. Your moans turning into whimpers and sighs as he fucks you into the bed.

And within moments your body and his reacted to the immense pleasure.

The climax washed over you like a wave of ecstasy.

Once it passes, he rested his forehead on yours panting with you. Letting his hand fall away from your mouth.

“ I've missed you so much.” He whispered.

You nodded in agreement that he was also missed.

He kissed your forehead. “ I'll go find something to clean you up.”

He then pulled out slowly and put on his bottoms.

When he came back he had a warm washcloth with him. He gently cleaned between your legs then himself before pulling you to lay in his arms.

You had started tracing his tattoos. Making him smile.

That's when he found himself writing something on your arm.

‘Marry-me-yeah?’

You sighed lightly and snuggled closer to him. Tracing your answer on his chest.

‘Okay’

He raised his head to look at you. " Yeah?"

You nodded. " On one condition...You have to break the news to Grant."

Eddie threw his head back into the pillow and smacked his forehead. " Shit! He's gonna kill me."

You giggled. " Yup."

…

@salenorona23 @browneyes528 @ohmeg @eddiesguitarskills @trashywormeateroffics @eddie-is-a-god @crookedcrone

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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 4 months

Text

MARTHA'S IS PRETTY ROMANTIC - CHAPTER TWO: JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY

summary: a lot can happen over two days, but the stand-out event just had to be that time you went to that restaurant and discovered that you didn't really enjoy seeing tyson flirt with other people. also: who the fuck is jamie?

warnings: awkwardness, mentions of anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, meddling, sexual tension, jealousy (both parties), tyson kind of being a dick

word count: 9.9k

previous part | series masterlist | final part

Mat and Toni, respectively, were on a mission. Oddly enough, neither of them had actually discussed their missions, because neither one was aware of the other’s mission. Mat didn’t know what Toni had been chatting about with you, and Toni didn’t know what Mat had been talking about with Tyson on the boat the day before.

But they each had a plan.

Both involved leaving you and Tyson alone at any possible opportunity. Take now, for instance, Toni was completely set on wringing the truth out of Mat about you and Tyson – but only after she’d insisted that she and Mat have a wander around some shops by themselves. That way she could kill two birds with one stone: talk to Mat and leave you and Tyson alone. (She had every intention of talking to Mat after tea, but as soon as the door shut…)

It was how you found yourself sitting at the window of yet another cute cafe, Tyson’s hat askew on your head after he kept complaining about it itching his forehead (he’d patted you rather condescendingly on your cheek when he placed it on you), the man himself at the till ordering your breakfast. There was a gift shop opposite, and it had taken approximately three people to walk out, all bearing paper bags for the idea to come to you.

“A cappuccino with pancakes, milady.” The tray was placed in front of you, as was a glass bottle with am orchid poking out of the top, and you looked up to come face to face with a grinning Tyson, who, after sitting down opposite you, rubbed his hands excitedly, “Fuck me, I’m starving.”

Your eyes wearily scanned over the heads of people in the near vicinity, a little worried that some kid had overheard, but everyone seemed consumed in their own company – no children in sight. You sat up a little straighter.

Martha’s was pretty romantic, wasn’t it?

You swallowed, trying to clear your mind, and almost as soon as your eyes landed on the food in front of you, you felt your stomach rumble loudly, “Me too.”

Tyson nodded, mouth full of his own stack of pancakes, and you stifled a laugh at his impatience, taking a sip of the coffee.

It had been less awkward than you’d initially expected – waking up next to Tyson – considering the comments you’d so thoughtlessly said. He’d actually not even been in bed when you’d woken up, and it took you getting dressed and wandering downstairs to find him also dressed, sitting on the porch swing with a glass of juice as he watched the water peacefully.

(You would have gone back inside after finding him, had he not spotted you and patted the place next to him – but you decided the extra time with him couldn’t hurt. And anyway, you’d both mostly just sat in silence, not really having anything to say.)

It wasn’t until you’d finished eating your pancakes, both your cups of coffee half-empty that you started talking, his eyes instantly snapping to yours, “I think I’m going to get something for Mat and Toni as a thank you for letting me crash their vacation, d’you want in on it?”

Tyson nodded, “Sounds good. You got any ideas?”

You shook your head, “There’s a gift shop across the street, I thought we could start there?”

“That’s fine by me.”

You offered a small smile, wondering if you were imagining the tension as Tyson averted his eyes back out of the window.

And you also didn’t know if he noticed your lingering stares, or if he purposefully chose to ignore it altogether. In fact, you were sure you’d rather it be the former, but you weren’t exactly being subtle. It was always pretty easy to notice when someone had just looked away from you when you looked straight at them – and each time Tyson caught you, you could almost draw the look on his face as he pressed his lips together to muffle a smirk.

“You done?” Tyson leant forwards across the table, peering into your empty coffee mug.

“Yeah.” You nodded, grabbing your bag from the back of your chair, a little distracted by something as your eyes scanned every person sitting at the table.

There were flowers on each table, as well as a few candles, and above the door were more flowers, and everything seemed to be a shade of pastel. The entire cafe seemed…lovey. Ribbons were wrapped around the cakes, and when you thought about it, even your pancake had a heart drawn out in whipped cream.

You hadn’t noticed you weren’t paying full attention to your surroundings until Tyson’s hand shot out to move a chair out of your way, knuckles protecting your leg from an inevitable bruise.

“Are you okay?” He mumbled, and you met his eyes, nodding a little overwhelmed.

His eyes were flickering across your face, no trace of a smile on his lips as he opened his mouth again. You waited for him to say something, but instead he stayed put and silent. It wasn’t until he raised his brows, more out of concern than amusement, that you remembered he’d asked you a question and you hadn’t answered.

“I’m fine.” You said weakly, flashing a tight smile.

He clearly didn’t buy it, but he nodded and continued the winding journey around the tables to get to the door, you at his heels, where he held the door open for you.

It was almost a relief to see the pavement and breathe in non-baked-treat air. It seemed to calm your raging mind – from where that little thing had come from, you didn’t quite know, but it was weird.

It wasn’t until Tyson was stepping up next to you, a strange look on his face that you realised quite what it was.

It was panic.

What for?

You didn’t quite know.

“You sure you’re good?” He asked, “You look a bit shaken up.”

“I’m fine, I just didn’t realise how…cutesy everything was here.”

He tilted his head, “What do you mean?”

You swallowed, looking right to avoid his stare. It felt insignificant and a little embarrassing to be admitting it out loud, but this was Tyson.

You’d passed him neon dino undies last night.

“Martha’s is pretty romantic, you were right.” You mumbled, crossing your arms protectively.

His face didn’t waver one bit, and you were glad, “Thought you said you weren’t allergic to romance?”

Your shoulders shrugged before you could stop it, “I wouldn’t really know.”

Tyson swallowed, a little confused by your words. You still looked distracted, eyes bouncing everywhere, cheeks a little red. If he didn’t know better, he’d have assumed you were about to bolt back to the house, but you stayed cemented to the concrete beneath your shoes, completely unmoving.

And he was about to inquire as to what you meant by that, because his mind was running around pretty quickly.

You wouldn’t know if you were allergic to romance? He had some serious questions, and if his hunch was right, he was about to get pretty pissed with some specific people that you—

Your eyes had settled. They were still moving, but the motion was less hectic and stressed. He followed your gaze, mouth parting at what you were looking at. It was an elderly couple walking down the other side of the street, hands clasped together, and bright smiles plastered on their faces as they conversed with each other.

Oh.

“You…” He started, trailing off. If he was being honest, he wasn’t quite sure where to start that conversation, or if he should start it.

But he knew what you were trying to say.

You turned to him, brow raised and a sigh leaving your mouth, “The gift shop?”

He just nodded.

***

You and Tyson were the first ones back at the house, feet sore and legs a little achy, immediately seeking out the comfort of the soft sofa cushions, deep sighs of satisfaction released from your very souls. Neither of you said a word to each other as Tyson took one end of the sofa and you took the other, feet stretched and overlapping in the centre, eyes glued to the TV screen.

There were much better views to be had in the house alone; the porch swing you’d both sat at earlier was wonderful, but once you’d walked through the front door, all of that logic had just vanished the moment the sofa was in your eyeline. It was comfy – much too comfy to even consider the thought of having to haul yourself up and walk back outside.

By the time the front door opened and the sound of Mat and Toni’s voices travelled through the corridor, Tyson was asleep, head resting uncomfortably on his shoulder, and you were blinking sleepily, the bags by the side of the sofa just out of reach.

“Oh, they’re here–”

You widened your eyes, a finger pressed to your lips as you pointed at Tyson’s sleeping form. His arms were folded against his chest, and it took Mat to lean over his head to see his closed eyes for him to believe you. He pulled a shocked face, disappearing into the hall where Toni was lining up their own bags at the bottom of the stairs, and dragged her out into the living room to laugh at Tyson.

“He’s gonna be so sore when he wakes up.” Mat whispered, once again eyeing Tyson’s positioning, “What did you do to him?”

You shrugged, “Nothing, we just walked around all day. We actually got you guys something, but I’d wait until he wakes up first.”

Toni silently cooed, a hand over her heart as she rounded the sofa to get a look at Tyson, “How long has he been asleep?”

“About twenty minutes.”

“Can I get a photo of you two?” Toni asked, already pulling out her phone, and you hesitated, eyes drifting to the way Tyson’s curls seemed to hang over his eyes with the low angle of his head.

He looked kind of adorable, actually. It wasn’t until Toni was encouraging you to look at the camera that you realised it was the first time you’d actually seen him asleep – he’d woken up earlier than you in the morning, and you’d both slept back-to-back in bed, limbs almost hanging off the edges because you were both too conscious of accidentally touching each other.

In fact, now that you were thinking about it, you weren’t sure he even slept a full eight hours. You’d both gone to bed pretty late, and he’d woken up early – you thought at the time the puffy-eyes were because he’d only just woken up, but now you were looking at him so completely out of it, that it had you wondering if he actually got any sleep at all.

You smiled as best as you could, though after Toni had lowered her phone, it dropped instantly. Mat fidgeted from the doorway, bringing bags of groceries through into the kitchen and shooting you a questioning glance.

“Should we wake him up?” He asked, wandering back into the living room, something else hidden in his eyes. It felt like you were missing something, but you weren’t well-versed enough in the ‘looks’ of Mr Barzal to catch onto what he was trying to ask.

You shook your head, “I don’t know if he slept properly last night. He went to sleep after me and he’d been out of bed a while by the time I went downstairs.”

“When did you wake up?”

“Eight-ish.”

Mat nodded, swallowing, before nodding, “Leave him until we’ve done dinner.”

You agreed, your attention going back to the TV until Mat and Toni had left the room. Then you turned to Tyson, where his feet were by your head, him pressed into the back of the sofa and you on the edge. If you moved or got out, you weren’t sure if he’d wake up at the lack of warmth, or if he’d be disturbed by the sofa dipping.

So you decided to stay put until Mat and Toni started cooking. Then, and very carefully, you peeled yourself off the cushions, cringing everytime Tyson seemed to twitch or move in his sleep – which was more or less successful, especially when you dared to risk putting a cushion between his head and shoulder, attempting to alleviate the inevitable neck cramp he’d experience when he’d wake up later.

And even though none of you were trying to be quiet, pottering around in the kitchen or conversing (the TV was also still on), Tyson still didn’t wake up. In fact, he seemed to slip further from the arm of the sofa until he was laid horizontally on the cushions, rolling over at one point to face the back.

It would have been endearing if you weren’t so worried about him.

And even after all the food had been cooked, and even after you’d filled him a plate up, not even the smell could wake him up.

“You gonna wake him up? Yeah, thanks.” It was Mat, escaping quickly out of the back door and joining Toni on the patio, leaving you alone in the kitchen, your sole focus still glued on the curly haired brunette curled up.

For some reason you’d expected Tyson to snore.

You stood at the front of the sofa, arms crossed. Waking people up was always a tricky thing to do, especially because it was always strangers you had to rouse; people were fussy and mardy about being woken up, but some people were impossible.

And you had a feeling Tyson belonged in the latter group, with the way he’d slept through the noise and commotion.

“Tys?” You asked, rather awkwardly trying to avoid touching him.

Nothing.

You sighed, reaching down to his jean-clad knee and shaking it. When that didn’t work, you contemplated tickling his feet, but the risk of getting kicked in the face was a little off-putting, and then you found yourself poking his cheek. Judging by the warmth radiating off him, you gathered he was pretty snug.

You threw a cautious glance over your shoulder, checking to ensure no one was watching through the window into the back garden, before kneeling down in front of the sofa, by Tyson’s head, and – rather nervously – reaching a hand into his hair. If nothing else worked, head or back scratches were always a pretty good shot.

“Tyson?” You murmured, nails gently scratching his scalp (his hair was softer than you’d imagined), and getting caught in his curls.

It took you using your other hand to flick his earlobe for a sign of life: he hummed, rolling onto his back and simultaneously forcing your hands off him. His eyes were still shut, face half-screwed up, and you held back a small laugh at his sleepy state.

“Tys,” you started, voice soft, “dinner’s ready.”

He slowly blinked awake, eyes immediately squinting at the lights above, before yawning and rolling his head towards you and scratching the beginnings of his facial hair on his chin, clearly a little confused.

“What?” He mumbled, a crease between his brows as he pushed himself up onto his elbows.

“Dinner. We’re eating outside.” You stood, pointing to the back door, where you knew he’d be able to see the outside lights from where he was laying.

“Already?” He asked, swinging his legs over the side and lifting his bare wrist up to his face, “What time is it?”

“Six.”

His eyes widened, and he stood up next to you, stretching and groaning at the relief in his joints. A rough palm cupped the side of his neck and he frowned at the dull ache, “How come no one woke me up?”

“We weren’t sure how much sleep you got.” You said, a little uncertain.

He nodded, though, but didn’t say anything else on the matter, “It takes a day or two for me to be able to sleep in a bed that’s not mine.”

You nodded, your gaze sympathetic as you led him to the back door, where Mat and Toni were sitting at the outside table opposite each other, drinks in hand and pasta bowls full, two empty seats next to them. When Tyson followed behind you, Mat cheered and Toni made a joke, but Tyson only shrugged, taking the seat opposite you, immediately digging into his food.

You snuck glances at him throughout the meal, noticing he had a little more colour than earlier – which wasn’t something you immediately noticed – and that the bags under his eyes looked less severe. Letting him sleep had clearly been the right idea.

“Right.” Mat clapped his hands together, before pointing to the conservatory behind Tyson and Toni, “Pool tournament anyone?”

You froze, mid-sip of your G&T, a pebble of dread settling in your stomach. Automatically, your eyes flickered to Tyson opposite, hoping he’d provide you with some reaction, but he was looking straight at Mat, a competitive gleam in his eye as he grinned, “I’m down. What’re the teams?”

And because you were still looking at Tyson over the top of your glass, admiring his almost childlike excitement, you missed the look Toni shared with Mat.

“Me and Tyson?” Toni spoke up, twirling with her earring as her attention focused on you.

In fact, after you’d swallowed another mouthful of your drink, all three pairs of eyes were on you, and you hastily turned to Mat, finding yourself nodding before you could even dare to protest.

You’d expected Mat to go with Toni considering their relationship and all, but you were probably in pretty secure hands if Mat was your teammate too (besides, you got the impression he’d probably be a little more honest with you than Tyson).

It was how you found yourself in the conservatory thirty-seven minutes later, holding a pool cue and dreading your turn.

You hadn’t played pool in ages, and your skill wasn’t that great then, so you’d prepared yourself for a game of failure and maybe a little embarrassment, but the alcohol would hopefully give you the confidence to embrace that fact.

Only, it seemed you didn’t have to worry too much about your ability, because everyone else was a little too inebriated to concentrate on hitting the ball accurately, and by the time it got to your turn, the only thing you couldn’t play off as the alcohol was actually holding the cue in your hands. You placed a hand on the table, mindful of the nearby balls, and lifted your palm onto your fingertips, slotting the cue between the crevice of your thumb and pointer finger.

Now for the aim: you looked down the cue, lining it up with the cue ball, which was also straight on and in line with a solid ball. If you slammed the cue ball into the solid ball, you’d knock it against the side and…more or less near a pocket.

In your peripherals you could hear Mat and Toni muttering to each other, shoulder to shoulder – clearly no love lost even despite the competition – and you inhaled, steadying your hands, before pulling the cue back and smacking the cue ball; only your angle was a little off, and the ball landed…just shy of the pocket.

You stood up, unable to help beaming to yourself. It wasn’t as bad as you’d initially predicted.

“Boom.” Mat stepped forward, knuckles bumping against yours in celebration.

“You can do the next one.” You mumbled, taking a step towards the shelf on the wall and drinking a mouthful of your drink.

When you turned back around, the first thing you saw was Tyson. He was standing on the opposite side of the table, both hands clasping his cue, and his eyes were trained on you. He caught your stare, pointedly glancing back at the table before mouthing ‘you’re going down, fucker’.

You stifled a grin, and if it were months earlier, you’d have probably teased back something along the lines of ‘on who, you?’, but this was now, and something had admittedly changed the entire dynamic of your friendship – probably for the worse, because as much as you tried to deny it, with all the odd tense moments, there was something beginning to nag at the back of your mind that nothing good could come of it, and you were downright petrified of even the thought of not having Tyson in your life.

So you stuck your middle fingers up at him in playful competitiveness, a dead serious look on your face, ‘in your fucking dreams’.

The smirk and adamant shake of his head in response did nothing to change the fact that you and Mat absolutely thrashed Tyson and Toni. So much so that Tyson pushed you into the pool after teasing him too much, though not before you could grab his shirt and pull him in after you.

You both went to bed with aching cheeks after that.

***

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you looked up at the owner of the shadow that had darkened the printed words in your book significantly – not that you needed to look at him; you would have recognised his voice through a fucking whisper – and faced an extremely familiar silhouette, blocking your strip of sun on the lounger. His chest was heaving a little and his entire upper body seemed to be glistening with sweat, even to the edge of his curls as they caught the sunlight, and he stood before you with his hands on his hips, looking undeniably and frustratingly attractive, “where were you this morning?”

You blinked, finding some semblance of safety and solace behind the dark lenses of your sunglasses, eyes secretly roaming…everywhere. You weren’t aware of the phenomenon of someone getting unbearably more attractive by the day, but you were absolutely certain the person standing in front of you was experiencing it in real-time.

Like the day before, you’d woken up by yourself in bed. The sting of disappointment was still there, but you’d managed to get yourself used to it; your expectations were lower and a part of you seemed to acknowledge the fact that his hockey schedule had his internal clock waking up about two hours earlier than you. According to Toni, the same went for Mat, too.

His broad shoulder shrugged, “I went to the gym with Mat and then we both went on a run for a bit. Why, d’you miss me?”

“I just haven’t seen you before ten in the morning, yet.” You excused, moving your hand to shield yourself from the onslaught of the sun – to say it was late morning and the back garden at the house Mat had rented was facing away from the sun, it wasn’t half blazing.

Tyson raised his brows, his cheeks still a little red from the exercise, “You mean you want to see me before ten?”

In truth, somehow you felt as though things between you and Tyson had eased a little – despite the fact this was the first time you were even interacting with the man since last night; something had just been sorted. It felt as though a squeaky joint had been oiled, though you felt partially that it was the buffer of one day separating you from the awkward comment you’d made about dressing him.

Nevertheless, you welcomed the previous ease with a smile and a fluttering heart. After all, he was standing in front of you perfectly tanned and sweaty and with a glorious smile on his face as he looked straight at you. There wasn’t really anything you could complain about.

“I mean,” you started, “I’d like to at least wake up with you in bed.”

He swallowed, “Oh, really?”

“It’d make me feel less like a lazy-ass.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“No.” For some reason, you were gripped by a sense of boldness that had never really shown itself, “I bet you look cute in your PJ’s.”

Even in the ensuing silence you didn’t take your eyes off of him. It felt like a pointless exercise at this point.

Except, what he answered next seemed to just blow your mind into smithereens.

“I only wear boxers.”

The shorts he’d gone jogging in weren’t all that long compared to the usual sports attire you’d seen him in and the tease of imagining him in only boxers – like the night you’d made that god-awful comment – sent your mind spiralling and your cheeks heating in misplaced anticipation. You knew he looked good in boxers; anything that highlighted the bulk of his thighs and the muscles in his chest and abs seemed to do the job, and knowing that each night so far he’d been sleeping in so little couldn’t help but render you into speechlessness.

Still, you feigned indifference, “I stand by what I just said.”

“I wear a PJ-based outfit nearly everyday,” he excused, swiping a hand across his face, “I’m gonna go shower and then I’ll come back out. Where’s Mat and Toni?”

“Toni’s wandering around and Mat’s in the shower I think.”

“In that case, I’ll be back down soon.”

“‘Kay.”

And Tyson remained true to his promise, returning not even ten minutes later wearing a pair of swimming trunks and a smile as he plopped down on the empty bed next to you, a bottle of sunscreen in his hand. Your eyes remained loyally on the book in your hands, even as he began lathering himself in sunscreen, his skin almost shimmering in the glint of the sunlight.

At least, you didn’t look until his struggle became a little obvious.

“Do you think you could get my back? Please?” He asked, twisting from where he was sitting, the bottle still in his hand but within reachable distance.

In all honesty, you never even had the thought to say no. Why would you?

“Sure.” You tucked your bookmark into the crease of your book, placing it on the bed before swinging your legs over the side of the lounger, choosing to spray the suncream onto the palms of your hands first instead of straight onto his back.

It was no secret that Tyson, along with the general hockey population, had broad shoulders. It was hard to miss; sometimes the seams on his t-shirts stretched a little too much for comfort, or sometimes the seams just simply weren’t aligned with the angles and joints of his shoulders. It wasn’t something you hadn’t noticed before, but it was a whole other thing to experience when your hands were touching him.

He was warm, and his skin was deliciously soft.

It was actually the first time you’d ever touched him skin-to-skin, and he seemed to remember that fact entirely when he shivered, bending his head to his feet to hide the planes of his face from your suspicious eyes. Only, once you’d touched him, it seemed to leave an uncomfortable tingling in your palms.

“Hang on, I think I missed a spot.” You mumbled, squirting some more lotion into your hands.

The relief seemed to kick in when your hands were back on his skin once more, and the confusion of that realisation seemed to send your heart hammering so forcefully against your ribs that it was almost painful.

Tyson’s back was so covered in suncream by the end of it, you’d be shocked if he even got any tanning done in the first place.

He cleared his throat when you clicked the lid back on the bottle, but when he turned back around, there was a little extra something in his eyes when he looked at you. His eyes usually were softer with you, but there was something else hidden in the depths of the dark pools; something you couldn’t quite translate, because you’d never exactly seen that specific kind of look directed at you.

Ever.

You swallowed, trying to ignore the immediate and instantaneous flush of your cheeks as you ducked your head, tucking some hair behind your ear just to give your hands something else to do to distract yourself from the dissatisfaction at not touching him still.

You thought the idea of losing Tyson was the most terrifying thing you’d ever imagined, but it was nothing compared to the devastation you could experience if it meant you’d never be able to do…that.

And that seemed to send you spiralling a little.

Until, of course, he intervened.

“Do you want me to do your back?” He posed, an empty hand held out.

You nodded, swinging your legs over the other side of the lounger. If anything it gave you time to stall and reorganise your own face so that when you inevitably looked at him again, you’d at least appear somewhat normal.

This is what Tyson had meant when he’d told Mat your relationship was complicated.

His hands were like an antidote to the thoughts swirling in your mind, and for a brief moment, everything went silent. He took his time, hands even smoothing under the strap of your bikini, yet not straying into disrespectful territory. You wondered if he was having the same internal monologue as you, but even though you tried to ignore it, there was a small part of you wondering if this was something he had come to terms with a while ago – especially if he’d told that to Mat so long ago.

Nothing seemed to quieten your mind when, not even five minutes later, you turned back to your book. Your eyes were skimming pointlessly over the words, but nothing was quite registering, the main voice heard being the one in your mind, practically screaming mindless and senseless theories at you whilst Tyson laid peacefully next to you.

***

The rest of the day seemed to go by like someone had held in a fast-forward button: nothing but a blur of light and colours or a cacophony of sound. You knew nothing extensively productive had been done; mostly just relaxing by the beach and pool respectively, trying to recuperate the energy everyone had burnt and spent yesterday.

And naturally, after a full day of lounging around, you’d all pretty much agreed dinner out was the best way to go: you’d yet to go to a local restaurant, and no one could really be bothered actually cooking after the barbeque yesterday (there was also the washing up, and absolutely no one was willing to stick their hands in a scalding tub of water in this hot weather).

It took about ten minutes to decide on which restaurant to choose that’d cater to everyone’s tastes, and you were pretty glad at how it had turned out. The place wasn’t too busy, and by the time you’d all sat down at the table and already managed to work your way through two rounds of drinks, the role of ordering the next round had miraculously fallen to you.

It was how you found yourself leaning against a sticky bartop, forearms aching slightly at the pressure of leaning against the wood. The drinks you’d had so far hadn’t kicked in yet or provided you with some relief to get away from Tyson’s burning gaze and dim the sharp awareness you seemed to have developed in the last twenty-four hours, but even so, you didn’t notice the figure next to you until he’d shuffled close enough for you to smell his cologne and feel the material of his shirt against your bare upper arm.

“Woah.” You muttered, taking a sidestep to avoid getting shoved into.

Luckily, the guy didn’t follow your movements, but when you turned to see what had happened, he was wearing a friendly smile and holding his hand out for you to shake – not only was it a little creepy, probably trouble, but it was entirely inconvenient considering the fact that you could still feel Tyson’s searing stare on you from the other side of the room.

Your skin prickled with it, and you felt kind of glad you’d been told to get the next round because at least it was an excuse to get some fresh air without feeling so on edge all the time (and it wasn’t even like Tyson had done anything – that was all you, which made it all the more difficult to deal with).

“Sorry, I tried getting your attention but I don’t think you heard me.” The man explained politely, his hand still suspended between you both, “I’m Jamie.”

You tilted your head, taking him in. There was something about him that was vaguely familiar, like you’d either met him before or he just had one of those annoying faces that reminded you of someone you couldn’t put your finger on; he had thick blonde hair that curled under his ears and seemed to fall in layers on the top of his head, and very clear sea-green eyes. There was a rugged handsomeness about him, and whilst you pasted a polite smile on your face, you shook his hand.

And almost as soon as you made the move to do so, his face seemed to crumple as his brows furrowed and his lips parted – all attempts at possibly flirting flying right out of his head.

“Do I know you?”

“Have we met before?”

You spoke at the same time, both now wearing equal expressions of confusion, and unable to help laughing a little awkwardly, minds racing.

You introduced yourself, wondering if your name might ring a bell, but he shook his head, the creases on his forehead deepening.

“Nothing.” He said, “I do know you, though.”

It was a blunt thing to say to a stranger, and if it weren’t for the way your brain seemed to also be spinning you’d have probably run the opposite way, but you felt glued to the spot. It was like your brain wouldn’t let you move until you figured out just what significance Jamie had in your life.

“Where did you grow up?” He asked, tapping his fingers against the bartop, his eyes momentarily leaving you to flicker to the front of the line.

No one had budged: there was only one bartender, and apparently everyone ahead of you in the queue had also been designated to buy the next round and was ordering drinks for their groups, because each person was taking a while to be served.

“Minnesota.” You answered, “You?”

This was fucking weird.

“Fort Mac. College?”

“Penn State.”

“UBC.” He sighed, scratching the scruff on his chin and letting out a sound that was somewhere between a frustrated huff and a psychotic cackle.

It made you smile a little.

“Where do you live now, if you don’t mind me asking?” You asked, raising a brow.

He could be a friend’s ex? Or an old work colleague? A family friend? A neighbour?

Jamie swung his gaze back to you, and there was a flicker of something that seemed to click in your mind. A fragment of a memory – it was a split second of a frame of something, but the face in it was younger: his cheeks were a little fuller and he didn’t have any facial hair.

But before you could grasp onto it, the flicker of recognition seemed to dissipate completely, leaving you just as clueless as before.

“Fuck.” You groaned, “I thought I had it, then.”

Jamie laughed, it was a deep, gravelly sound that seemed to resonate in your bones, and from where you’d put your hand against your head in frustration, you turned to him.

He was actually quite pretty for a man. It was a realisation, sure, but with that also came the knowledge that when you thought that thought, you felt…nothing. There was nothing.

Oh no.

You swallowed, risking a glance back at your table to see Tyson chatting to Toni about something, and almost instantly the symptoms seemed to kick in: your hands got clammy and your pulse picked up. Your eyes caught Mat over all the customers, and he flashed a concerned thumbs up, clearly hinting at Jamie, and you offered a smile, repeating his action, before turning back to the man at hand.

You must really like Tyson.

Like a lot.

You cleared your throat, trying to distract yourself from the way your thoughts seemed to take a spiral down and remove you from your present being, but before you could even conjure up something to say, Jamie had gasped – as far as a man of his stature could do such a thing.

“I know.” He stuttered, pointing a finger at you with a wild look in his eyes, “I live in Vancouver right now, but you live in Buffalo, right?” He asked, talking quickly as though he was afraid he’d lose his train of thought mid sentence.

All you could do was nod.

“We met before at a hockey game in Vancouver, it was against Buffalo, and you were in the drinks line with a friend and you guys overheard me tell my buddy about something–”

Tyson felt off – only he knew the sole reason for the off-feeling and also knew what the off-feeling was: it didn’t take much guessing or analysing on his behalf. All he had to do was sneak a glance at you out of the corner of his eye (Toni was still talking to him, but every so often he felt like his eyes were just pulled in your general vicinity), and the reason for the prickle of his jealousy was staring right back at him.

There was a guy talking to you. Tyson wouldn’t have minded at all if it didn’t look like you two knew each other, or the fact that as the line grew shorter your conversation seemed to get more animated. You’d been laughing, the guy had been laughing, and Tyson wasn’t unaware of the fact that he was attractive.

No, that was a fact he was painfully aware of.

And he knew the whole jealous thing wasn’t necessarily a possessive spirit, because instead of feeling the need to walk over and interrupt, all he felt was a vague swell of panic that had been slowly building under his sternum and had spread out across his ribs. He felt his heart rate pick up and his mind disconnect itself from Toni’s conversation (she wa a little tipsier than everyone else, and Mat was involved in the conversation too, so he assumed Toni wouldn’t be able to pick up on his lack of presence), and he had to swallow the rising lump in his throat.

He’d never been affected by you like that before, and a part of him knew it was because whenever you two would see each other outside of hockey fixtures, it’d just be the two of you, which meant he was blissfully unaware of other people’s intentions with you. In fact, when he thought about it, he didn’t think he could ever remember feeling threatened by someone else that could hurt his chances with you – although at the time he hadn’t had any kind of hope that you’d reciprocated his buried feelings, so things were a little different.

Even so, he still wasn’t sure about how you felt, and he was far too much of a chicken to outright ask you.

Something drove against his shin under the table, pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned straight to Mat, who was shooting him a pointed glare and subtly nodding his head in Toni’s direction and Tyson had the horrid feeling as though he’d just been caught ignoring her.

He cleared his throat, turning to Toni with an apologetic smile, “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Toni took a sip of her drink, trying to hide the knowing smile on her face. Tyson might have unintentionally not heard what she’d said, but one glance at his eyeline gave her all the answers she could ever need, and for that, she rather found Tyson getting distracted amusing (even if she repeatedly said his name to get his attention – Tyson could do little wrong in her eyes, ever).

“I was asking if you had any ideas on what we could do tomorrow?” Toni repeated gently.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Tyson was thinking, but his mind was blank. All he could picture was the word and Toni’s face as she waited patiently for an answer.

He cleared his throat, “I don’t know, what’re you guys thinking?”

“We were thinking we all do our own thing and then have a movie night?” Mat proposed, shrugging as he kept one arm over the back of your empty chair. And like there was some magnetic pull towards you, Tyson flickered his attention over to you.

He wished he hadn’t.

The guy was scribbling something down on a piece of paper, and you took it from him with a smile.

Tyson ducked his head, staring into the bottom of his empty beer glass, a little despondent, “Yeah, that sounds fine by me.” He mumbled, completely missing the shared look between Mat and Toni.

“You okay, Tys?” Mat asked, and though he was somewhat amused by his friend’s lovesick symptoms, he was equally as concerned for his quietness. Tyson wasn’t usually so silent; most of the time he was always engaged in some kind of enthusiastic conversation – and it was pretty rare that he wasn’t smiling.

He just nodded, changing the subject, “Why don’t you guys use those spa vouchers we got you for tomorrow?”

“Oh,” Toni hummed, looking at Mat, “That sounds like a nice idea.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Mat agreed.

“Sorry it took so long, the queue was pretty slow.” You retook your seat, the previous conversation coming to an abrupt end – causing you to raise a curious brow.

Your eyes swept right over Mat and Toni, both of whom eagerly took their drinks off the tray muttering their thank you’s, and came to rest on Tyson. He took his drink all the same, but there was a weight and heaviness on his face – it looked like concentration with the way his mouth had twisted to one side, but he hadn’t even acknowledged your presence.

“Is everything okay?” You directed the question to the group, but your eyes slipped unintentionally to Tyson, who shrugged.

“Yeah, we were just talking about tomorrow. Mat and I are gonna use those spa vouchers you got us.” Toni explained, and you nodded.

“Sounds like a plan.”

And with that, the conversation started flowing again – but your attention was still somewhat tied to Tyson, who still hadn’t said anything.

You tried to get his attention by sneaking unsubtle glances at him in the hopes he’d look back, but it worked to no avail.

“I need the bathroom.” He excused himself quickly, not making eye contact with anyone at the table before he’d turned on his heel to make his way to the bathroom. There was a patterned divider screen paving the short corridor before his figure completely disappeared from view as the door shut behind him.

When you turned back to Toni and Mat, the question of whether he was alright or not died on your tongue at the way they were both looking at you.

“What?” You questioned, your hand immediately going to rest against the cool glass of your drink.

They were both looking at you with identical expressions of something on their faces, but you couldn’t quite place the meaning of it.

It was Mat who took the liberty of answering your question, “He saw you talking to that guy at the bar.”

Oh.

“So?”

Toni laughed softly, “So he got jealous.”

You felt yourself pull a face at her words, almost scoffing in disbelief, but no words came to mind.

“You two did look pretty cosy.” Toni continued, arching a brow in your direction as she elegantly took a sip of wine, peering at you over the top of her glass.

“We weren’t flirting.” You excused, shaking your head as your eyes went back to the divider near the bathroom.

“Josty didn’t know that.” Mat said, “But he did see you guys laughing–”

“And he saw the piece of paper he gave you.”

“There was a piece of paper?” Mat’s eyes widened, before he winced, “Ouch.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes, “His name is Jamie and we met a few months ago at a Buffalo-Vancouver game and he gave me his number, yeah, but it was because he mentioned his company had a position in his Buffalo office–”

“He offered you a job?” Mat tilted his head in your direction, shock clearly written across his features.

You shook your head, “He told me about a job; it pays better than my current one and it doesn’t involve a fifty-minute commute. I think I’d be pretty crazy not to consider it.”

They were both silent.

“So he really wasn’t flirting?” Mat double-checked, and you sighed, a little frustrated.

“He tried to, but I told him I wasn’t interested.”

“Why?” Toni shot back, interest in her eyes.

You huffed, and maybe if you weren’t already a little tipsy, you’d have said something about not knowing why, but the alcohol currently in your system as well as the sips you’d taken from your new round made you a little less self-conscious of being honest…at least to a certain extent, “Because he’s not my type.” You shrugged.

“And your type is what, exactly?”

And then you went silent. The hand clasped around your glass seemed to react before you could register what you were doing, but you raised the glass and took a mouthful.

Mat, however, seemed to have the opposite reaction. He slumped comfortably in his chair, a lazy smirk on his lips, “Your type is Tyson.”

And if you were being honest, the thing that stung you most wasn’t necessarily the truth: that perhaps the pinnacle of ‘your type’ was Tyson after all, but the fact that other people had caught on. You weren’t entirely aware your recent not-so-subtle crush on Tyson had been obvious – mostly considering it was a realisation that you’d come to within the last few days.

“Come on, you guys have liked each other for months–”

What. The. Fuck.

“What the fuck.” You breathed, unable to help the comment slip out of your mouth in shock, “No.”

Mat frowned, his brows knitting together as he shook his head in your direction, an adamant expression on his face as he seeked out Toni for reassurance, “Yes.”

You inhaled sharply, hand now pressed against the table, “No, I didn’t figure that out until literally two days ago. I’m only now realising that I’ve been crushing on him this entire time. Some fucking denial…”

Once more, a shroud of silence seemed to envelope the entire table. Mat remained frozen, crazy eyes fixated on you (not that you blamed him, you weren’t entirely sure you weren’t making this entire conversation up in your own head at this point), and Toni’s mouth had dropped in shock.

Then, something seemed to crawl across your skin. It was a prickle of foreboding, something that could have been easily mistaken for anxiety had you not had the displeasure of experiencing said emotion firsthad, but this kind was unfamiliar.

Again, like your body was trying to tell you something, your eyes circled back to the divide near the bathroom.

Something sour immediately seemed to collect in your stomach, and you swallowed harshly, tearing your eyes away from the scene with a curl of displeasure fogging your brain, “Looks like you were wrong on his behalf, though.”

In his defence, Tyson was ambushed. He was wholly and honestly ambushed right from the second he stepped out of the bathroom door. He hadn’t seen it coming; though who could? She’d been blocking his path back to the table completely and he couldn’t even say he’d ever seen her before, and the second she introduced herself with that sultry smile he knew what was about to happen. It was something that had happened numerous times before, and not something he could say was exactly convenient in that exact moment – especially if you were to look straight over, because from your seat he knew you had a pretty solid view of the doors, kind of like how he’d had a pretty solid view of the bar not even ten minutes ago.

Perhaps it was karma. Maybe it was a coincidence. Or maybe it was an opportunity to get back at you, to see just how you’d act when he sat back down at the table. If you were completely normal, he’d know for certain you weren’t even the slightest bit interested, but if you weren’t? Well, he’d definitely take note and then have to ask Mat how to proceed because he wasn’t that good at stuff like that.

Though, he tended to be good at it when you were involved, but that was riding on a major ‘if’.

It was why he (rather cruelly) entertained himself in the conversation with the lady clearly waiting for him. She was bold, he’d give her that, but she wasn’t you – could never be you.

“Are you liking Martha’s so far?” She asked, tilting her head seductively in his direction, and Tyson physically restrained himself from sneaking a glance in your direction.

“Yeah, it’s pretty incredible. Good views, and all. What about you, you having fun?” He couldn’t ever say he was good at talking to people he didn’t know, because if he did he was sure he’d be branded some kind of world-class liar, but he attempted it, at least for appearance’s sake.

“I mean,” She laughed, placing an unwanted hand on his bicep that he’d luckily kept covered with a blazer, “I could be having more fun, if you get my drift.” She raised an eyebrow, and to be polite, Tyson shuffled out of her grip subtly, and although she dropped her hand, the smirk on her face remained pretty steady.

He laughed a little awkwardly, something between a grimace and a smile on his face, “I do, but I’m taken.” He lied easily, this time momentarily making direct eye contact with you for a brief second. He couldn’t decide if his heart simply stuttered or actually stopped beating, but he swore when you looked away he’d never felt so aware of what he was doing.

He was being a dick just to get a reaction out of you.

“Oh.” The girl’s expression dropped and she took a respectful step back, “I apologise.”

“No need, I...” Tyson shrugged, trailing off pathetically.

Then she turned around, clearly able to focus on exactly who had stolen his attention for that brief moment, and when she looked back at Tyson there was a gleam of understanding on her face, “She’s beautiful.”

“I know.” There wasn’t even a debate about it, the words had just flown so freely out of his mouth that he couldn’t ever really imagine saying anything with such confidence in his entire life.

The girl flashed a soft smile, the kind that had Tyson wondering if she ever really had the true intention of really flirting with him, and simply wandered into the ladies bathroom next to him.

He remained rooted to the spot, his mind reeling. Really, he was flattered, but other women flirting with him had never felt so uncomfortable. He felt the awkward desire to apologise to you for some reason; it wasn’t as though there was anything tying him to you on any kind of level. There’d only been a few moments but not enough for him to hate it when it wasn’t you flirting with him. Surely?

He cleared his throat, hand over his chest as he looked up. Straight in your direction. The food had arrived, the plate in his empty place steaming, but it was the look on your face that had him moving. You’d bitten the inside of your cheek and there was a thoughtful, vacant look in your eyes – something was up.

Only, when he’d returned to his seat, you ignored his questioning glance and instead offered a tight, clearly irritated smile.

And something dropped in his stomach: it felt an awful lot like guilt.

***

Somewhere along the lines it was decided a walk back to the house would be a good way to end the night. Mat and Toni were walking ahead of you and Tyson, hands intertwined and hushed conversation flowing easily. It couldn't have been more opposite than yours and Tyson’s current situation.

There was at least an arm’s length between you both, and neither of you had spoken a single word since the restaurant.

It was awkward.

He had still given you his jacket, though – but even that went without words other than your concerned glance to his bare arms (he shrugged), and a muttered thank you.

You wanted to ask if he was okay, there was just something nagging you in the back of your mind, but you pushed it down. It wasn’t even fair of you to be a little pissed at him, but you were. In fact, you were more pissed at yourself. Perhaps if it hadn’t looked as though you were flirting with Jamie, Tyson wouldn’t have flirted with the gorgeous girl outside the bathroom.

Then again, you had learnt a lesson from tonight, so you’d chosen to take that presumption with a pinch of salt, because if you didn’t, you’d be a whole hypocrite.

You just needed a breather, and the only way you could process everything in your head and everything your body was telling you about the man next to you, was to process it in silence. In your own head and on your own terms.

Hopefully the processing wouldn’t last too long, though.

“Excuse me.” You stopped, twirling around at the sound of a soft, delicate voice. Your arms immediately uncrossed from against your chest, coming to rest at your sides as you flashed a polite smile at the elderly couple that had stopped you.

Your eyes automatically flickered down to their chained arms, and that slow sense of panic from yesterday began to tease at your insides again.

“Is everything alright?” You asked.

The sound of footsteps getting closer registered somewhere in the back of your mind, and your skin seemed to erupt in goosebumps when a subconscious part of your mind registered it was Tyson that had pressed himself closer to you. Again, he wasn’t touching you, but you could still feel his presence and warmth.

You’d never really been this in-tune with him before.

The man smiled back up at you, and you ignored the way his wife’s curious eyes slipped to Tyson behind you, “It is, but we’re just a little bit lost, and we were wondering if you could point us in the right direction?”

You nodded instantly, automatically turning to Tyson, who’d already read your mind and was pulling up maps on his phone, “Where do you need to be?”

The man – Eric – answered, and you nodded in understanding, curling your head to look down at Tyson’s phone. You felt your heart start to race at the closeness: he was still standing a little behind you, but he’d placed his phone in a position you could also see his screen, so all you had to do was turn your head a little to the right, his curls ticking the top of your head.

Neither one of you made a move to inch away.

“I’m really sorry if I’m overstepping here, but you two make a lovely couple.” The lady – Freda – said a little sheepishly.

The breath in your chest seemed to still, and you felt your mouth form a shape, but no sound came out. Luckily, Tyson seemed to take the lead, his media training and prep for keeping a straight face and calm demeanour (all of which you were failing ridiculously in) being used to–

“Thank you.”

You inhaled sharply, head snapping back to him in surprise. Of all things you’d expected him to say, a simple thank you was most definitely not on the cards – at all. In fact, you’d fully prepared for him to shoot it down with a smile, but here he was, accepting it with a smile.

And you misjudged exactly where he was, because in all the heart-stopping seconds you’d just experienced, it hadn’t even occurred to you that he’d also turned to face the couple. So when you turned back to him, chest aching with something that had recently come into fruition, you turned into him.

The proximity of your faces was so close that even with a small breath you could feel it fan across your cheeks. His nudged your cheek, and almost as though it was rehearsed, both of your gazes instantly went to the other’s mouth.

Before flicking back up to the eyes, and when you did, something seemed to crack. Or click. You couldn’t quite determine which, but there was a heavy vulnerability written there clear as day: he was just as taken aback by the sudden closeness as you were, though he seemed to have mastered the ability to hide the rest of his emotions pretty well.

As for you, you were sure he could see just about everything on your face.

Before the moment could be ruined, you took one daring look back at his lips, suddenly struck with the strength of the magnetism between you both. You felt compelled to kiss him then. The thought had the corner of your mouth twitching up fractionally and your breath hitching in your chest, because that idea wasn’t at all as petrifying as you thought it would be.

You wanted to kiss Tyson in a way that if you did, it’d just screw you both up.

He must have been on a similar wavelength, however, because his cheeks seemed to colour and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost testing you, a hungry glint in his eyes.

And then it was over as quickly as it had happened.

The couple got their directions and you and Tyson all but speed-walked home in the exact same situation as before the interruption: maintaining a safe distance and in an awkward silence, though this time for a slightly different reason.

“I’m going to bed.” You announced immediately after walking through the front door, needing to sit in silence in the dark for a while longer.

Tyson.

Your brain just seemed to scream his name, and although you knew exactly what it meant, it didn’t mean you weren’t a little intimidated by the prospect of it. Only, when he came upstairs twenty-minutes later, you were laid on your side facing the window, and he didn’t bother to be quiet, probably assuming you weren’t asleep anyway, and threw a piece of screwed up paper onto your bedside table with an audible, resigned sigh.

You felt him hesitate, and you cracked your eyes open a little to see him with his hands over his face before they fell down to his sides in resignation. There was a hardness to his jaw and he looked…devastated.

It wasn’t until he’d gone into the bathroom that you unfurled the piece of paper, nerves haywire at what exactly could have caused such a dramatic change in demeanour.

Fuck.

Jamie’s number.

You placed the paper back where he put it, anxiety crushing through your system when there was a muted sigh from inside the bathroom, followed by a muffled bang.

#tyson jost oneshot #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost x reader #nhl oneshot #nhl fic #nhl imagine #martha's is pretty romantic

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 months

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Nobody's Girl - Chapter Three.

Check your girl out over here like Oprah. YOU get another chapter, and YOU get another chapter, and so on! I am seriously so flattered by everyone loving the story so far, and watching you all so rabidly consuming it makes me so very happy :)

With the time off work I have had recently, it's meant the story has virtually written itself, I'm up to chapter eleven in the writing, so what I thought would originally be a shorter series has turned into a longer one, meaning I can update more regularly. Well, I can only hope you like this chapter just as much as the previous two, and if you do, remember to leave me a little comment, or a reblog. You would have my eternal gratitude for doing so!

Previous chapters - One Two

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 4,300

Warnings - Adult content throughout, minors DNI!

Conversation. With a woman he wasn’t involved with. Truly, Luca couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever enjoyed such, but there he was on an otherwise quiet Thursday night experiencing just that. A soft flurry of snow gently drifted down outside, his apartment the warm cocoon he and Emily sequestered themselves within, sitting on the couch, mostly her sharing stories of her life before she’d literally fallen into his.

“I remember there was this one time, back when I first got caught up with them, I was taken for a game at this house in Queens. Joey had loaned me to his brother, Giacinto, but of course there was the issue of how he could get me in at the table. So, he made a bet on a bet, I guess you’d call it. Strode in there and announced that he bet each player two hundred bucks they couldn’t beat me in a game of seven card stud.

“Of course, part of the point of poker is counting cards, but I can do it faster and better, and I did. I won Giacinto five grand in one night, and most of the guys were pissed as hell that I’d beaten them, except for one. He was an older guy, thick glasses, big birthmark on his cheek. He told me I was every man’s worst nightmare, a pretty blonde with a brain, and he respected that.”

“That’s Jimmy Phelan, Irish mob from Philly,” Luca nodded, quite impressed that she’d grabbed his attention.

She clicked her fingers in remembrance. “Yeah, Jimmy. That was his name. I’ve met so many wiseguys that it’s hard to keep up with all of the names. I remember the ones who have curious nicknames, like Carmine the Boots, and Duck Foot Silv. I never asked how they got them, though.”

Luca knew, of course. “Carmine is the boots ‘cuz that’s what he does to those who earn it, fits ‘em with a nice set of concrete boots and sends ‘em off for a swim in the Hudson River. Silvio, they call him duck foot ‘cuz the guy was born with webbed toes.”

Her eyes widened, leaning forward in her seat. “Have you seen the toes?”

“I have,” he smirked, scratching his jaw,. “He does this trick, sticks a quarter on his big toe and flicks it about ten feet in the air.”

She snorted with giggles, sipping her drink and catching an ice cube to chew upon. The sound of her cracking it between her teeth did something to his insides that he couldn’t explain, but was very, very pleasant. “I bet he’s a good swimmer too, huh?”

“Guy don’t need no flippers, that’s for fuckin’ sure.”

He looked at her for a long moment, enchanted as usual by her loveliness. It was so easy with her. She knew exactly who and what he was, and she just accepted it without fuss, acting unguarded with him, rather than either trying to work him out or shrink in intimidation. It made a nice change, to simply experience a slice of normality like that, and especially with a woman. Most only wanted him for his money or the association of who he was.

Or his cock. He was famed for having one hell of a nice cock, after a woman he’d bedded had been very loud in her praise of it one time.

“So yeah, back to Jimmy being nice to me. He gave me a hundred dollars, said I’d earned it, being such a good card player. I was amazed, and I thought the cash was mine to keep, but not according to Giacinto. Copped a huge beating for that assumption, ended up with this.”

Hooking her finger into her mouth, she pulled her cheek back to reveal the empty gum space where her back teeth should have sat, Luca feeling caustic within. How hard must he have punched her to knock a both a double and fucking wisdom tooth out, he had to wonder, remembering how tough his own had been to have extracted by a dentist.

“Bastardo,” he hissed, picking up his drink and knocking it back, refilling it. “Ain’t no big man’s game, sluggin’ a broad. You wanna prove you have cojones? Fuckin’ walk up to the biggest fella in the room and crack him in the mouth. S’what I used to do whenever I got thrown in Sing Sing as a kid, not long after I arrived here from England.”

“Have you ever done serious time for your endeavours?” she asked, lifting the wool shawl where it had slipped from her shoulders, Luca wishing she’d left it. Any chance he got to view more of her beautiful, lily skin, and he shamelessly took it. It had been gnawing at him for the past fourteen days since she’d been there, chewing away at his resolve like a starving wolf.

Usually, he’d have made his move by now on somebody he coveted. Hell, his record was ten seconds upon seeing a woman he desired, walking up to her and brashly asking a simple, three worded question. “Wanna fuck me?” No woman ever refused him. With Emily, though, because of her sheer loveliness, as tempting as it would be to corrupt, he held himself back.

It was a fierce internal conflict he waged war with, his rampant libido dictating he simply take her to bed and bounce her on his cock until she screamed his name, the very little morality left within him castigating such, because of how innocent and sweet the girl was. He couldn’t tarnish something that lovely and pure with the infection of his darkness. Until he could come to some resolve, he supposed he’d have to simply deal with the juxtaposition of wanting to cherish her like a princess and fuck her like a whore.

She was a billion miles away from the latter, though. Hence the conflict.

Also, he got the distinct impression that she was still too scared of him. For the most part, she was settled around him, a little shy still, but definitely comfortable enough to open up to him and talk, just like she was doing on that particular evening. If he showed the weight of his desire for her, though, she’d surely bolt. The last thing he wanted was for her to flee.

“I did a few years for theft, when I was eighteen,” he eventually replied, once he’d managed to finally pull himself back out of his thoughts. “Few times being locked up here and there in the time between, too.”

“Don’t you mafia guys have the police on payroll, or something?”

That was another reason why he held himself back. Would she truly want to remain in the world she’d been held prisoner in, should he instigate anything with her? Then again, at least this time she would have a choice. “We do now, yeah. Hence why I ain’t seen a cell in a while.”

“I think I’d cry if I was ever arrested. Jail sounds scary,” she spoke, sipping her drink, her sweetness making his chest hurt. Why did she have to be the loveliest little thing he’d ever met? It was making him crazy, the want to protect her, the need to fuck her dirty, both colliding with the resolve that he’d solely keep here there until he knew all he wanted about the Calabrese family.

It was a resolve that seemed to fracture away with every second that passed in her company.

She’d given him very useful information so far, too. Safe house locations his guys had duly gone in and looted, details of deals that she’d been made privy to that he’d been able to scupper before they’d had a chance to come to fruition. Because of Emily, he had the upper hand in the war against the family who – in his mind, at least – needed to show respect and fall back into line.

What would happen when the well that was her information dried up, though? What, he was simply meant to let this beautiful little creature, this utter mythical princess of a woman unlike any others he’d encountered simply be on her way, and leave his life with a little less pure, iridescent sparkle in her wake?

He was glad of the distraction when a heavy fist pounding the door below interrupted their evening, Emily nearly jumping out of her skin.

“S’okay,” he assured her as he stood, resting a hand to her shoulder. “That’s Angelo, he has a habit of knocking like he’s the fuckin’ police.” He headed to the stairs, descending, opening the door but remaining out of her sight as he and Angelo exchanged hushed whispers. Luca appeared again after a few minutes, looking lamentable, but also angry as he pulled himself into his thick, black coat.

“I have to go out, something I gotta attend to,” he spoke, Emily rising to her feet.

“Oh, alright. When will you be back?”

He shrugged, not looking pleased at all. “Hopefully not too long, but don’t wait on me, alright?”

She nodded, and then completely on blind impulse, reached for his face, pulling him down to her tiny level and kissing his cheek. “Be careful.”

His heart all but broke the ribs covering it with the force of its rapid thuds. He winked, thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. “I will, doll.”

As he walked back down the stairs, he could still feel the soft press of her lips against his cheek, his pulse amped up from even the tiniest display of affection from his houseguest. He truly hadn’t expected it, and when he should have left the building with nothing but business on his mind, instead, it was only getting back to Emily again that occupied his thoughts.

Meanwhile, the girl herself flopped back onto the couch, sighing as she covered her face with her hands. “Oh, god help me. I want that man so badly!” she grimaced, groaning with discomfort. Truly, she didn’t know how the hell to play it, either, feeling so conflicted.

Sometimes, he’d flirt with her, but she was too shy to reciprocate it, meaning he’d pull back and cool down with how he acted around her. Other times, she knew only too well he was trying to wheedle information regarding the Calabrese’s from her, information she found herself giving, getting herself furtherly wrapped up in a world she knew truly wasn’t any good for her.

How much danger was she in, though, from her place beneath the albatross-like wings of Luca Changretta? Nobody would be fool enough to touch her. However, that was only if she became more to him than whatever she was, she supposed. Then again, he had told her several times already she was safe with him.

Falling into a silly daydream, she imagined him taking her in his arms, kissing her, those big, tattooed hands laying worship upon her, that sultry voice of his speaking his wants and desires. She let her mind wander for so long that she was still partially in a daze when she heard a rapid knock at the door, followed by the creak of it opening, the music no longer playing.

“Luca? It’s only me,” a female voice called, her heeled feet alighting the stairs. Before she could speak, a buxom looking redhead appeared, her face surprised as she took Emily in. “Oh, hi! I’m Maggie, and you are?”

“Hi, Maggie. I’m Emily, and Luca is out,” she spoke, picking up her drink and finishing it.

“Oh, oh alright. I must’a missed him leaving,” she muttered, holding two large jute bags in her hands. “I was just bringin’ up the takings to him, but I guess I can leave ‘em with you. You’re his new gal, right?”

She shook her head. “No, just his, uh, his friend.”

Maggie snorted, placing the takings down on the coffee table. “Luca don’t have gals who are just friends, sweetie pie.” She viewed her carefully, watching the way the young blonde blushed furiously, reaching for the vodka bottle. Only a tiny drizzle remained within.

“Damn,” Emily pouted, “I drank it all.”

“Hey, I gotta load of premixed cocktails I’d otherwise throw out. Fancy coming and helping me drink ‘em while I clean up for the night?” Maggie offered, suddenly feeling like she would be being rude to go and pour it all away, and leave the girl upstairs alone, waiting on a man who would likely be gone for hours. Especially too after she’d blatantly embarrassed the hell out of her by her assertion over her boss and his lack of female friends.

Who was she to judge? Stranger things had happened, she guessed, although she had to admit, she was very curious. If Luca wasn’t giving her a good fucking on the regular, then just what was she doing there? She had noticed her boss not present down in the joint for the last two weeks, with none of his usual rotation of females making their way up to the apartment. Curiosity demanded an answer.

Smiling, Emily rose to her feet, stuffing them into her shoes. “Sure, that’d be nice.” Following Maggie back down, she was ushered over to the bar, taking a seat on one of the high stools, the clean up in full effect as people swept, tidied and mopped, the band disassembling their instruments and returning them to their respective cases.

“Here, I hope you like Manhattan’s,” Maggie spoke, pouring a large measure into a copper mug and passing it over, topping off her own and holding it out. “Cheers, Emily.”

“Cheers.” She took a swig, the alcohol hitting her throat so hard, she almost coughed, the redhead throwing her head back.

“Sorry, sugar. I make ‘em potent!” she smirked, taking a soapy cloth and beginning to clean down the bar. “So, you and Luca. What’s the story, darl?”

Emily didn’t really feel comfortable with revealing the whole truth to a perfect stranger, even though obviously she was a trusted person by the man himself. She wouldn’t have been working in his speakeasy if she wasn’t. “I’m staying with him for a little while.”

“And you ain’t knockin’ boots with him?” she was then asked.

“No, definitely not,” she replied, taking another sip of the rocket fuel in her grasp.

Maggie raised an eyebrow, beginning to pick up liquor bottles from behind the bar and clean the runs and drips away with her cloth. “But you wanna, amirite? Everyone wants to fuck Luca, ‘cept me. I like ‘em a little prettier.”

Watching her wink as a cute, almost angelic looking blonde saxophone player walked past and waved goodnight, Emily caught her drift immediately. Turning back to Maggie, she shrugged lightly. “I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m his type.” By that point, she’d seen a picture of Filomena, his ex-wife when he’d shown her some photographs of his children. She was dark haired, buxom, Italian and glamorous. Everything she wasn’t.

“True,” Maggie spoke, pausing to light a cigarette, her cleaning endeavours finished. “But men like somethin’ a lil’ different, they’ll find themselves urging for a taste of the unfamiliar when it’s presented to ‘em. You should give him a go, darl. I hear he’s good with his cock.”

It was an unfortunate time to take a sip of the lethal Manhattan, Emily half spraying it back into the mug at her brazenness. Maggie couldn’t resist in teasing further. “One of the dancers here was fucking him a while back. Said he was hung like a bull and had the stamina of a guy half his age.”

Emily felt herself shrinking with every word, Maggie throwing her head back and laughing hoarsely. “Oh, ain’t you a cutie! Gettin’ all shy. Sorry, I know I’m brash. I’ll behave.”

Perhaps having a female perspective into her predicament might be helpful, she then pondered. Maggie seemed nice, friendly, too. It wasn’t like Emily had a whole lot in the way of friends, either, no gal pals to run her thoughts by. “Okay, so the truth is, I do want to,” she began, Maggie’s face lighting up as she leaned over the bar, huddling close.

“Tell me more, sugar!”

Pausing, she took another sip of her drink for courage. “I want to, but I never have before. With any man.”

The barmaid’s eyes all but fell out of her skull. “Really?”

She nodded.

“But... why? Sex is amazing with the right guy!”

Just then, a door flew open down at the other end of the room, one of the dancers striding out, mid-tirade. “It’s the fuckin’ same with all you fuckin’ Italian jerks!” she screamed, the guy following her looking nonchalant. “All of youse expect us to fuckin’ suck dick, but when it comes to returning it, nadda, nothin’, no sale! Would it fuckin’ kill you to eat me out just once, Luciano?”

He shrugged, lighting a cigarette. “I ain’t about that.”

“Yeah, me and my thirsty kitty cat know only too well, you two-bit fuck! We’re done!” She was out of the joint in a blur of sequins and fury, Emily and Maggie sharing a wide-eyed look at having front row seats to such a show.

“Yeah, he ain’t the right guy,” the latter snorted, jerking her thumb in the direction where Luciano, one of Luca’s street guys had just walked in, softly cussing to himself in Italian.

“To answer your question, I don’t know, really,” Emily confessed, thinning her lips momentarily. “I’ve never found anyone I like enough to do it with, I guess. It’s like I’m a beacon for shitty guys with bad intentions.”

Her confidant didn’t truly know how to answer that, since Luca did seem to go through women like they were entering and exiting in a revolving door. However, there was a plus point. “Well, if you decided to, at least it wouldn’t be a lousy first experience for ya. He’s forty-three, the man has heaps of experience, so it wouldn’t be like my first. Two pumps and a squirt, baby. I was so disappointed,”

The women both snorting laughing, Emily throwing her head back as she truly began to cackle loudly. Oh, she was funny, this brazen woman who had taken her under her wing and plied her with lethally potent cocktails. While she was beginning to relax and find herself making a new friend, the topic of their conversation was walking into a speakeasy in Bushwick, his crew around him.

“Luca, glad you could join me,” Giacinto Calabrese spoke, leaning back in his seat. “Drink?”

“No thanks,” he drawled through the chew on his toothpick, “won’t be stayin’ all that long. So, Angelo here tells me you gotta deal for me, huh?”

His adversary gestured to a chair, Luca taking a seat, his eyes never leaving the man as he felt his mood darkening, looking at his hands. Those were the knuckles that had smashed the teeth out of her mouth. “I do, because you have somethin’ of ours we want returned to us, but I’m a fair man. I’m happy to exchange.” Lifting his chin, he pulled his cigarettes out, lighting one up. “Give me the girl, and I’ll walk away from the warehouses in Yonkers. You have my word.”

He rolled his tongue against his cheek, chuckling a deadly hiss. “Your word is worth shit, and Emily ain’t for sale, pal.”

“Oh!” The wise assed man laughed, entertained. “On first name terms with the little puttana now, huh? Wait, I can’t call her that, though. Bitch is more frigid than a fuckin’ nun!”

Luca remained still, but his eyes moved with all the intent of a predator locking onto its target, slowly pulling the toothpick from between his lips. “The fuck you just call her, stronzo? A bitch?”

“Yeah,” Giacinto laughed, “I called her a bitch, and...”

That was as far as he got before the lion that was the head of the Changretta mob pounced, grabbing his collar and pounding his head down onto the table, their respective guys all drawing their weapons.

“You’re outnumbered, fellas,” Angelo rumbled, tutting. “Put ‘em down.” The men fell back, all watching the scene unfold before them.

Luca loomed like a shadow of death, his hand holding Giacinto fast against the smooth, dark wood. “Did you call her a bitch when you knocked her fuckin’ teeth out? Did ya? Tell me, how hard does a guy like you have to slug a tiny little thing like her to crack the goddamned teeth from her jaw? This hard?” His fist met his face in a sickeningly strong blow, the piece of shit beneath his grasp grunting in pain. “This hard?” He punched him again, this time loosening one of the teeth he was aiming for, Luca hauling him up and beginning to lay repetitive punches to his face, Giacinto flying back to the floor.

With his rage pumping like water through a broken dam, Luca loomed over him, pulling a flick knife from his pocket and releasing the blade, holding it so hard against his cheek, his blood began to seep from beneath the press. “You ever speak her name again and I will cut your fuckin’ tongue from your head. The Yonkers warehouses are mine now, too, just for the fuckin’ gall of you. Give your fuckin’ father my goddamned regards, Giacinto.”

“Fuck you, Luca!” he spat, shame and rage coiling through him.

“Fuck me, huh?” he laughed, low and deadly. “Nah, kid. Tell me, you right-handed? You are, aren’t ya? It was your right hand you used to beat her, wasn’t it?” Wrenching his arm up, he grasped his wrist, bringing the knife down between his third and fourth fingers, beginning to slice through skin, sinew and tendons. Giacinto screamed, Luca holding the knife towards Angelo, needing both hands to grab the second and third, then fourth and fifth fingers, grasping hard before literally ripping his hand apart.

“Can’t go punching little girls no longer now, can you?” Standing, he left him screaming on the floor, looking to his guys. “Step down from the warehouses as of tonight, or I do worse to all six of youse.” With that, Luca and his eight cohorts left the speakeasy, heading back to their cars, Brooklyn bound. Entering his apartment just under a half hour later, he made sure he was quiet, not wanting to wake the beauty in his bed.

Hanging his coat and jacket, he unlaced his shoes, removing his tie as he walked over to the bed, just about able to see her outline there curled up, sleeping soundly. Reaching toward her face, he gently swept the platinum strands of hair that had fallen loose back behind her ear, tenderly stroking the apple of her cheek with the back of his fingers.

He realised right there that she could never again utter anything about the Calabrese’s, and he wouldn’t care at all. He didn’t need her for information. He just needed her to be safe.

The twisted irony wasn’t lost on him, though, that the very person she wasn’t safe from was the one whose bed she slept soundly in, but for very different reasons than what the Calabrese’s represented. He lingered there only a moment longer before going to the bathroom and undressing, pulling on his grey and white striped pyjama bottoms, heading for the couch.

“Luca?”

He actually jumped a little, hearing her soft voice suddenly sound through the dark. “Yeah, doll?” Turning, he watched her sit up, peeling the bed clothes back as she shuffled over, patting the mattress. “It’s freezing. You can’t keep sleeping on the couch. I don’t mind sharing.”

He hesitated only a second before walking over, climbing in next to her, his heart beginning to race. Her warmth was the most alluring intoxication he’d ever felt near to him, wanting nothing but to wrap himself around her, meld his body to hers, tell her in no uncertain terms that Giacinto Calabrese would never dare touch her again.

Lying there, Emily could feel the tension radiating from him, not knowing why he was in such a state, but sensing it all the same. Had something happened, while he was out, something to spark his temper, amp his ire? She felt him turn away from her, turning over herself and hesitating a moment before putting the advice she’d had from Maggie to good use. ‘Just move on him. You’re beautiful, sugar. He won’t turn you down.’

It wasn’t necessarily a sexual advance, as Maggie had been specifically advocating, but it was a step in the right direction. Wrapping her arm around him, she pressed herself against his back, resting her hand to his chest. Her heart almost leapt into her throat when she felt him grasp her hand, thumb stroking, placing a kiss upon her fingers.

He clutched her hand tight, feeling her breath flutter against his shoulder blades, his heart still hammering. If he turned to her, that would be it. He wouldn’t be able to hang onto the bull within him, goring against the very last of his soft flesh in a bid for freedom. Flesh that had softened for her.

He remembered how he’d felt, punching Giacinto repeatedly in the face, until he had expelled blood with every groaned breath, all for her, because of her, because no man would ever make the sweet little darling curled against him feel less than all she was ever again.

But still, he didn’t dare turn over. It’d be like Satan himself defiling the purest of angels. If only Luca knew, though, as he wrestled with the beast within, that the only thing the angel pressed against his back wanted was to feel the burn of his lust against her skin.

#luca changretta fanfiction #luca changretta smut #luca changretta x ofc #luca changretta fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders fic #luca changretta fic #nobody's girl #luca and emily

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whumpmasinjuly · 11 months

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Now introducing the prompt list for Whumpmas in July 2032!

Thank you for patiently waiting! We will be implementing a couple of new changes! We will not be reblogging any creations this year and will instead keep this blog as a space to only post the prompts, tags, and relevant information. We will post the tag for each day, and we ask that you use two tags when filling prompts this year so that others may find your creations easily: Tag 1 ---> #wij23day__ (Fill in the blank with the appropriate day number for the prompt you are filling! For example, if you are doing the prompt for day 21, make sure to tag your post with #wij23day21. Of course, feel free to use any other relevant tags too!)

Tag 2 ---> #whumpmasinjuly2023 Be sure to also tag @whumpmasinjuly-archive if you would like your posts reblogged to our new official archive account! You can also find a banner that you can use in your posts (if you want) under the #wijbanner tag.

The prompts are divided into three categories: questions, prompts, and community activities. Everyone is free to participate as much or as little as they want–there’s no completionist requirement! This list provides a preview of the prompts, but on each day a more detailed post will be released with more context and additional suggestions for each day’s task. Similar to previous years, all prompts and other important information will be found under the #infowhumpmasinjuly tag and #infowij23 for ease of access. This blog will also use the tags #wijquestion , #wijcommunity , and #wijprompt respectively for each post so that you can filter and find the type of prompts you’d like to do.

Below the cut is a text list of this year’s prompts:

1. (Re)Introduce yourself. 2. What ten words give you the whumperflies/make you think of whump? 3. Stitches/Bandages 4. Share a TV show, movie, or any media that gives you the whumperflies! (Feel free to go off about your favorite episodes/moments!) 5. What character do you wish to see whumped more in canon/fan-made media? 6. Deprived 7. Post a link to your favorite whump fic of all time (or reblog it and/or make a list of them!) 8. Describe your favorite type of whumper! 9. “Stay with me” 10. Check out a new whump blog and drop them an ask! 11. What whump media type do you prefer and why? 12. Search & Rescue 13. Share some of your favorite niche whump tags! 14. Describe the ideal fic you’ve always wanted to read but have yet to find / haven’t written yet. 15. Buried 16. Create a whump meme! 17. What inspires you most to create whump content? (Images? Fics? Shows?) 18. Ache 19. Create a list of some of your favorite whump blogs to share! 20. Describe your favorite type of whumpee! 21. “Please.” 22. Find a story/author you’ve never read before, read it and leave some nice comments (people can reblog the post to plug their series/masterlists/etc as well) 23. What is your favorite type of whump setting? 24. Earth (Environmental whump) 25. Share a sneak peek of something you’re working on! 26. What is your favorite place to find whump media, roleplayers/writers, or fan-created content? (Link us to it!) 27. Unstable (Mentally? Physically? Both!?) 28. Send people asks about their OCs or favorite fandoms! 29. Do you identify with any particular roles or situations in whump? 30. Antidote 31. Who is someone in the whump-creating world that you admire and why?

#whump #whump community #whump event #whumpmasinjuly #infowhumpmasinjuly #infowij23 #wij2023 #whumpmasinjuly2023

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httpknjoon · 1 year

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(re)starting over again | kth; 9

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 1.6k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | all i can say is I greatly recommend listening to ceilings by lizzie mcalpine while reading. that song was playing in the background for hours while I was writing this one. anyways, have fun reading!

main masterlist | series masterlist

“No, no.”

You held on to the bags tighter when Taehyung tried to carry them for you. Ever since that interaction with Lily earlier, you’ve been quiet. You two stood next to each other while waiting for the car you booked for your ride home. He stole glances at you and you were just looking anywhere but at him. When the car arrived, you placed the grocery bags between you two, not speaking much.

His chest felt heavy throughout the whole ride. It felt harder to breathe like he was drowning in silence while you look outside the window. The image of your smile fading from your lips when you heard about Lily going to the bakery days ago kept replaying in his head.

“I can do this alone,” you said, almost in a whisper.

There were five large grocery bags. You brought the three on your own, walking ahead of Taehyung when you arrived in front of your shared home. He can tell you were struggling from behind. So he immediately catch up and opened the door with his keys. You didn’t say anything and just went inside, heading straight to the kitchen.

You were quick as you dropped the bags on the kitchen island. You immediately brought the items out of the bags. Taehyung followed what you did wordlessly.

“I told you, I can do this alone,” you repeated in a stern tone.

He answered shortly, “I want to help.”

You stopped. Taehyung looks up and he sees you staring at him with what seems like a blank gaze. You sighed heavily. Like you were annoyed. Suddenly, the thought of you possibly getting tired of him crosses his mind.

“Fine, do it on your own then.”

It was childish, you thought. But you can feel your bones aching right now for some reason. And you don’t think staying in one room with Taehyung right now would help you feel any better.

“YN…” he called your name. You didn’t respond verbally but you turned around and raised an eyebrow. He asked, “Can we talk?”

You bit your cheek before looking away, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

That answer from you made him breathe in sharply. None of you two even mentioned what you were going to talk about. He nods repeatedly, respecting your decision.

“Okay. But can we do this together? I don’t know where all this stuff goes.” he admitted.

Your expression somehow softened. He swore he saw a glimpse of something in your eyes before you dipped your chin, “Sure.”

One by one, you two placed everything you grocery item you bought. You remained quiet and focused as you kept your head down, and Taehyung could feel the tension in the air. He doesn’t feel it easing anytime soon.

“The candies go into the jar. Those breakfast cereals are in the big empty jar too, the ones next to the candies. Soda cans and those yogurt drinks just put them properly in the fridge.

“Too organized, eh?”

He tried to lighten up the mood with a soft snarky comment. He hoped to hear maybe a small chuckle or see a small smile on your lips. But you just turned away, like his comment just traveled from one ear to another. He ignored his muscles tensing after earning no reactions from you. You were distant and avoided eye contact. Your voice was dull.

“The teabags–” your voice shakes, Taehyung noticed. You cleared your throat, “The teabags go to the container in that drawer.”

He still noticed that you were trying to stable your voice as you instructed him with your back facing him. He mumbled a little okay before following your instructions. His head is starting to form ideas that maybe you’re mad. You won’t even face him right now. Before he can even think of more thoughts about that, a small noise is enough to break his thoughts. A sob.

Taehyung paused, processing if he had heard the right thing. Then, another one follows… and another. Everything around him gets quieter and all he can hear is that small, restrained sob from you. He turned around. He immediately spotted your shoulders shaking while your back still facing him.

“YN?” he called for you, worried.

Your shoulders tensed. It took you a minute to respond to him. Instead of saying anything, you hummed.

“Hmm?”

“Y/N…” he called you again since you remained turned against him.

You cleared your voice and from behind, he can see that you were wiping something on your face before finally turning around.

“Yeah?”

You kept your response small, not letting Taehyung catch more emotion in your voice. But your face failed you from hiding. He can see your still-damp, red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You were biting your lower lip so hard as if you were clinging to the thin thread of strength left in you.

Contemplating if he should ask you about whatever made you cry or just ignore it as he did in mornings when he saw you spacing out with heavy eyebags, he knew he need to say something at the moment.

“Are you okay?” he asked with a soft tone.

The thread was instantly cut by that question. A single tear trickled down your eye and your lips formed into a frown. You feel like your knees are turning into jelly. You sniffed and tears just continued to flow from your eyes.

Whatever facade you put on in front of him ever since he woke up from that accident was just shuttered with a simple question from him. The weight of thoughts and questions in your head is too much that you felt like just dragging your head while your heart felt squeezed out.

From the other side of the kitchen island, Taehyung watched you break slowly piece by piece. Your palm covered your lips as you shake your head. He can hear cracks forming in his heart with the sight in front of him. He was about to take a step toward you. But you spoke,

“P-Please. Don’t come near me, don’t try and hold me” you sobbed, trying not to stutter with words. “I think I will just break down here if you’ll hold me. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it together longer…”

But even though Taehyung accepted your rejection of receiving any comfort from him, you began breaking down. Just full-on sobbing behind your palms. You were whimpering like you were still trying to stop yourself from crying. But you just can’t. Everything hurts but you also felt numb at the same time.

“I don’t know anymore.” you wept, admitting while meeting his stare

Taehyung looks down, “I’m sorry…”

“Oh, no. no. no. Please don’t say sorry.” you panicked, shaking your head. “You see, I understand why you invited her to your shop, baked her something, and talked with her. I understand why you wanted to see her after your accident. Because Lily is your girlfriend… right?”

As much as it hurts you to say that, you two knew you were right. His head and his memories are all from five years ago. The bakeshop’s there. Jimin’s there. Lily is there. And you, he will only get to know you months after he broke up with Lily.

You continued, “No, she is. Right? Five years ago. Before we met. Lily was the only woman in your life. She was the one in my place and I can’t be mad with that.”

When you said that, his eyebrows raised like he was surprised to hear you say that. He opened his mouth to say that you can, you can be mad. You have the right to do so. But you resumed, with a shaky, teary laugh.

“And… and how can I be mad? How am I supposed to be mad at you? Of course, you will always come back to what you remembered. And I am just unlucky that you didn’t meet me five years ago…” you paused. Your voice gets weaker and smaller as you mumbled, “I am basically a stranger from the moment you woke up from that hospital. I understand all of those things. But what I don’t understand is why you haven’t told me about her? And I hate that I don’t understand because all I can think about are these questions inside my head… Taehyung, what am I to you here?”

Everything gets quieter with that question from you. The question repeated over and over again in his head. While your heart was getting torn into pieces just by looking at him. You know him too much to read through his face and see that he is trying to think of something that won’t hurt you. He looked like a little kid lost in this new place and you felt bad for him. Your emotions are all mixed up but the pain is definitely up there. Your heart breaks for you, for Taehyung, and for everything that led up to this moment.

“I know you wanted to know what happened between you and Lily in the last five years…” You sighed and your voice breaks when you continued, “But Taehyung, I’m also here… We also happened.”

You inhaled sharply, looking away from him, before walking away from the kitchen. Alone, Taehyung stood frozen in the same spot for a long time. He thinks quietly, thoughts and questions flying around his head. He sighed heavily. He doesn’t know how long he stared at the thin air before he looked around, seeing the unorganized grocery items. So, he tried to continue. He tried to remember where he would have liked to put everything.

Never go to bed angry :)

Taehyung once wrote that on a piece of paper and stick it on your refrigerator door just a few weeks after you two moved in together. You saw it in the morning after you two resolved your unending misunderstandings after living in one place together. You two were adjusting and learning more about each other.

During that conversation, you learned that you tend to run away, keeping your feelings in you than talking about it with him. Taehyung hates miscommunication so he always tried to talk about everything with you with full honesty. He said most relationships end just because of misunderstanding and overwhelmed emotions. And if you’re going to let that emotion and misunderstanding stay overnight, it might lead to an ugly ending.

Now, that piece of paper is squeezed between the pages of that old book you read before. You kept it as a reminder to yourself.

Now, you lie awake on your bed, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes. You’re angry. You’re tired. You’re confused. But mostly, you’re in pain. You don’t think you can talk this emotion to existence. It’s just a lot.

For now, you just want to cry and silence the thoughts in your head by putting yourself to sleep.

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [closed] @halesandy @boohoobabe @hopeonysus @taffyteffy @pnlpbnl @arusio @rpkth @cinnamonruts @xyahrinx @betysotelo18 @sugaslittlekookies @doublebunv @dahliasbouqet @lust-kth @aria-grace-scott @milkteallday @hoodalmighty @kiwuki @http-fayeradise @daydreamiies @starlight-night0 @chaoticbisous @mageprincess7 @byunniebaekhyunnie @hiimnothing @koreanaestheticc @shin-ie @blancflms @jeonkoookiee @satorinnie @rjsmochii @yoonglesdoll @somewhereinthestarss @turnthepageandbeburnt @heyjiminnie @bri-mal @teddybeartaetae @kaal-ee @nikkiordonez12 @motivatedprocastinator @butterflieshee @iamkookiesforyou

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink

#bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts series #bts imagine #bts au #bts amnesia #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung au #taehyung amnesia #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #restarting over again kth

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 7 months

Text

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 23

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 10/06/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: You meeting someone?

It had been three months since I left Dieter behind. All things considered, I felt like I had handled it well. Most days I managed to get through my routine without thinking of him, throwing myself into work and small craft projects. The paparazzi appeared to have gotten bored with following me around since there was no story to report on. I wouldn’t interact with them and there had been no sightings of Dieter and I together. The assumption was that we had split, and any drama related to said split had passed. Not having the paps shouting questions and sticking a camera in my face on my daily commute to the office made a huge difference in keeping him off my mind.

Staying away from social media and tabloid sites had also been crucial in being able to get back to some kind of normalcy. It had become vital to keep this distance, because Dieter was all over the news feeds due to his reinvigorated party boy ways. He didn’t seem like the same person anymore and it was too painful to see it over and over. As far as I knew he hadn’t been home during any of his filming breaks, and with the production of his movie wrapping up soon, I was anxious to know if he would finally come back to LA. Part of that anxiety was rooted in my concern about running into him. No matter how many times I had tried to imagine it, I wasn’t sure how I would handle suddenly being face-to-face with him again.

I would be lying if I said that I was over him. There was no doubt in my mind that I will always love him. How could I not? He had changed me for the better and helped me through a rough time in my life. During the time that we had been together, and he had been doing well, life had been so much more fulfilling. He showed me what it was like to be loved and appreciated. What it meant to be truly happy. Perhaps even more than that, he had given me the confidence to be myself. I could honestly say that I didn’t know any of that until him. I was able to acknowledge that he did all that for me, but at the same time I had also become mostly numb about it all. Maybe it was the anger, maybe it was denial, or maybe I had figured out how to move on without him. Either way, I felt like I was going to be ok, and I had accepted that he wasn’t going to be a part of my life anymore.

It was late on a Wednesday evening when I got news that he was back. Lauren texted me to let me know he had been spotted at one of the fancy restaurants that all the celebrities tended to hang out at. Unsurprisingly, he had been there with Anna and a handful of other people. I had asked Lauren not to tell me anything she read about him, but I still found myself grateful to get the warning. At least now I was aware that there was a possibility of running into him, so it wouldn’t catch me completely off guard. What I didn’t realize is how soon that would happen.

The following morning, I was surprised to receive a call from Ethan Carrington. He called to let me know that he was in town and wanted to have dinner to catch up. I thought it was a little odd, but he was one of our top tier clients, so I agreed to meet him that evening. I wasn’t surprised when he proposed meeting at one of the most upscale restaurants in town. We made plans to meet there by 7 PM and he let me know a table had already been reserved under his name.

To say I was flustered by the time I left the house was an understatement. All my afternoon meetings had run over, causing me to finish up work much later than I had planned. I had to rush to find something to wear, then shower, and get ready. To save some time, rather than trying to tame my hair, I blow dried it and pulled it back into a sleek low bun, then threw on a light layer of makeup. I got dressed in a navy sleeveless scoop neck A-line chiffon dress that had an asymmetrical bottom and was embellished with a sash around the waist. I dug out my matching navy peep toe high heels with ankle straps to wear, then quickly grabbed my purse and walked barefooted to the car.

With traffic slowing me down as usual, I made it to the restaurant with only minutes to spare. Luckily it had valet parking, so I didn’t have to worry about finding a spot. I did feel slightly embarrassed about making the valet wait while I put my shoes on. He assured me that this wasn’t even close to the strangest thing he dealt with, and we had a good laugh about it as he waited patiently for me to exit the vehicle.

As I was walking up the few steps to the entrance, carefully watching my feet to avoid tripping in my hurried pace, I was stopped in my tracks by a set of feet that had come to a standstill directly in front of me. When I looked up, my breath caught in my throat. Dieter and Anna stood in front of me, staring back at me and saying nothing. Dieter looked tired, the telltale sign of dark circles under his eyes revealing his sleep problems were probably still very present. His hair was longer than it had been the last time I saw him, and it was styled into soft, messy curls. He was dressed in charcoal dress pants with a black button up dress shirt. As usual, the top button was open, and the sleeves were rolled up. He also had his glasses on. A little voice in the back of my mind begrudgingly pointed out that he looked just as sexy as always. Still, something was off about him; it was clear in his fidgety body language, and particularly the turbulent look in his eyes.

My eyes widened as I took him in, my body almost reeling just as strongly as my mind did. “Dieter…umm hi,” I stuttered out. I was startled by his sudden appearance and did not know what to say or how to act. His stare shifted into an unsettling smirk, his dilated pupils making his eyes look darker than usual, and by the way he tipped his head back slightly I could tell that he shifted into performance mode, emitting a boisterous energy that became even clearer when he spoke.

“I’m surprised to see you at a place like this. You meeting someone?”

His tone sounded heavy, maybe even a little hostile. Ah, so that’s how this was going to go.

“Yes, I am.” I inhaled deeply and straightened my shoulders, unwilling to play whatever game he was trying to set up here.

“A guy?” He stared directly into my eyes as he spoke, unblinking, and it struck me how empty the expression on his face was. It was almost like he wasn’t in there and someone else was pulling his strings.

“Not that it’s really any of your business, but yes. It’s a guy.” I didn’t break eye contact, hoping that I was able to keep a neutral expression on my face. All of it felt like a test, but I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to show him that I could easily pass it. Maybe the best response was no response at all.

He pursed his lips and arched his eyebrows before he shook his head, his eyes shifting downcast momentarily before he looked back up at me. Straightening up as he gathered his composure.

“Well, I hope you get to know this one a little better before jumping into bed with him. Assuming he goes for this whole… polished stepford wife look or whatever this is,” he said, his voice having just the slightest slur to it.

I could feel my jaw tighten, my eyes blazing with anger that his words suddenly re-kindled in me. I gave him a tight smile in return.

“Hmm,” I said, shaking my head slightly from side to side as I rubbed the fingers of my right hand across my bottom lip in disgust. He continued to stare at me expectantly, clearly wanting a response, and I had to look away for a moment before I met his intense gaze again. “I see what you’re doing, you know. Don’t worry, it’s still working.” I paused briefly, “So, fuck you.”

“Ooh, you already did that, sweetheart. A whole fuckin’ lot.” He gave me a cunning smile, teeth bared for a moment as there was nothing friendly or sweet about it.

I could feel my face tensing further at his combative remarks. I knitted my brows together and shook my head from side to side again. He was clearly trying to piss me off, and it was working. He knew exactly what to say to push my buttons. I wasn’t even going to attempt to understand why he was being like this, it simply hurt too much. I didn’t want to engage in an argument. I just wanted to protect myself from more pain.

Anna chuckled as she leaned in to break the intense stare that I was giving Dieter, “Damn, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you.”

I gave her a tight smile wrapped up in thinly veiled contempt. “I suggest that you don’t fucking speak to me,” I said very quietly, for a moment actually entertaining the thought of punching her in her smug little face.

She backed away slightly and grabbed onto Dieter’s arm, moving so that he was positioned between us. Clearly, my intimidation attempt struck its mark with her.

My attention was drawn away from them when I heard someone call my name. When I turned, I saw Carrington walking towards me from the entrance of the restaurant. Trying to shift gears, I tried to relax my face and gave him a polite smile as he approached. He looked like he had just stepped off the set of a James Bond film in the expensive tailored suit he was wearing, oozing confidence, and looking just as handsome as I remembered.

“There you are, I was beginning to think you stood me up,” he said with a joking tone as he leaned in to give me a small kiss on the cheek. “You look nice,” he added as he pulled away with a wide smile on his face, his eyes warm as he gave me a quick once-over.

“Ethan, thank you! Sorry, I was just catching up with some friends,” I said dryly, glancing back toward Dieter, who was now radiating disdain. His jaw twitched as glared at Carrington, his eyes narrowing and somehow turning even darker as he glanced at Carrington’s hand that now rested on the small of my back. Correcting himself, his eyes quickly moved back up to meet my gaze.

I didn’t flinch as we locked eyes and spoke up, “I guess I’ll see you around. Have a good evening.”

I gave them both a sarcastic smile. Carrington’s hand stayed on my lower back as he guided me toward the entrance. I may not have wanted to engage in the game that Dieter seemed to play, but part of me enjoyed that it clearly bothered him to see me with another man. A handsome one at that. Even if it was a work meeting, which he didn’t know.

As we were being led to our table, I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I wasn’t even upset about seeing Dieter, only livid about his attitude and the way he had spoken to me. The waiter seated Carrington and I next to a window toward the front of the restaurant, handing us the menus which we looked at in a comfortable silence. From the corner of my eye, I could see Dieter and Anna were still outside, waiting for their car. She was on her phone, but he had spotted me through the window and just stood there, staring with his hands pushed into his pockets. I tried not to look directly toward him, but that didn’t stop me from peeking over my menu every so often to see if he was still there. Despite all the bravado that had been there earlier, and the confidence with which he had carried himself, he looked like a broken man now. It tugged at my heartstrings as I wished I knew what was going through his mind. I could tell the cocky front he was putting up had diminished to something that resembled hurt or maybe even regret. All the showmanship had left his stance as he seemed to be unaware of what happened around him, Anna even needing to pull him aside when someone tried to walk past them. Luckily, the valet pulled up with their car right after that, so I didn’t have to endure that sight for very long.

Carrington’s voice tugged me back into the present and out of my thoughts when he spoke up, “I would ask how you’ve been, but I think I may have a general idea of the answer.”

He gave me a sympathetic look before continuing, “That was him, wasn’t it?”

I smiled nervously as I glanced down at the table, wondering how much he knew. Probably everything there was to know publicly, be it true or false, “Yes, that was him.” I nodded as I looked back up at him, finding his eyes were as gentle as his voice had been when asking me the question. “I’m sorry my drama made me late and that everyone across the US knows about it, apparently.”

“Yeah, it was all over the news.” He seemed apologetic about it. “Hard to miss. I wasn’t sure if you needed rescuing or not, so I’m sorry if I interrupted something…”

“Not that I need rescuing…but thank you for that.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I doubt you do. You're pretty fierce on your own.”

His eyes stayed focused on my face, briefly dropping down to my lips when I smiled at his comment. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I felt like he was possibly flirting. We were interrupted by the server coming over to take our order.

We proceeded with small talk while we waited for our food. He gave me an update on how the company was doing and mentioned the possibility of expanding soon, staying vague on the details. As we chatted, I noticed how attentive he was. Always looking me directly in the eye as I spoke, gesturing subtly to the waiter when he noticed I was low on water. We hadn’t really had a chance to interact outside of a business setting, so it was interesting to see him in a more personal manner and have an easy conversation. I was getting small glimpses of his personality that I hadn’t picked up on before. He was very witty and had a good sense of humor.

Once we started to dig into the main course, he got down to business.

“Well, I think we’ve run the gambit on small talk. I guess I should get to the reason I wanted to meet with you and stop beating around the bush.” He gave me a nervous smile. I gave him one in return, unsure of where this was going.

“I talked to Aubrey about this, and she indicated that you may be open to a change, given recent events and she’s supportive of it.” He gave me a small grimace, realizing that may not have been the best opener.

I smiled and motioned for him to continue.

“Our Chief Operating Officer will be retiring soon, and we’ll need a replacement. You’re the first person that came to mind for the position. I know, it’s a big change, so I don’t expect an answer now. I do, however, want to let you know that it’ll be a significant raise and we’ll cover the cost of any moving expenses and travel.”

Whatever I had been expecting from the meeting, this wasn’t it. He had my attention. “How significant?”

“Seven figures, significant.” He gave me a smirk as my eyes widened.

“COO…I mean, am I even qualified for that?” I laughed in disbelief.

“Well, you’re already basically telling me how to run my company and saved me a lot of money in the process. I’ve seen you in action. You have a brilliant mind, and your problem-solving skills are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. You’re also really good at handling difficult situations. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

He wasn’t wrong, he was indeed running his company based on my suggestions. I shook my head in agreement.

“It would require moving to New York though?” I asked, trying to process the information and what this all would mean for my future.

“Yes…and no. I would absolutely love for you to join us in New York. In fact, it’s my preference. However, like I said, we’re planning to expand. We’ll be opening another branch in Silicon Valley. I’ll need a COO there as well. Just know that if you choose that location, you’ll be building from the ground up. You’ll be fully involved with all planning. It’ll require you to spend some time in New York while we work out the details, but once everything is set, you would only need to travel occasionally. It also comes with slightly higher pay due to the extra work that’ll be involved.”

This time I sat with my mouth hanging open in shock, “I don’t even know what to say.”

“I don’t expect an answer right away. We have some time before I need to know.”

“I mean, it’s not a no. Umm, but I do have a lot to think through.” I reached for my water, taking a deep drink now that my mouth suddenly felt very dry.

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything else,” He took a bite of his food as he studied me, obviously trying to figure out where I stood on the offer.

He continued to tell me about the many benefits the company offered. He was trying his best to sell it to me. The offer was appealing and something I really needed to consider. We eventually moved on to other non-business related topics. It was nice getting to know him on a more personal level. Time seemed to fly by as we continued to chat, even after our meal was finished.

We finally decided to call it a night after he insisted on covering the bill. We walked out to collect our vehicles. While we waited, he leaned in to give me a polite goodbye kiss on the cheek, lingering slightly longer than what is socially acceptable. I got a whiff of his musky scent. I couldn’t deny, he smelled amazing. I cleared my throat as he pulled away, trying to correct my train of thought.

He smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, I lingered. I made it awkward. Forget that happened.”

We both laughed. I caught myself biting my bottom lip, which seemed to briefly bring his attention back to my mouth again. Fuck. Was I flirting now? Thankfully, we were interrupted by the valet returning with his vehicle. Mine followed behind a few seconds later.

“We’ll talk soon. Have a good evening,” he finally said as he took his keys and walked toward the driver's side door, giving a charming smile as he went. I agreed and gave him a wave as I collected my keys and moved toward my own car.

My head was reeling during the entire drive home. I wasn’t sure what just happened, and I had conflicting feelings about the whole thing. Did we have vibes? Were we flirting? Also, what the hell was wrong with me for allowing that to happen? There was no way I could work for him under those circumstances. Not to mention what had happened with Dieter and Anna. I needed to talk through this with Lauren.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my pajamas, then facetimed Lauren. She didn’t answer. I gave it a few minutes then tried again. She answered on the second round, a surprised look clearly visible on her face despite the dim lighting around her.

“Talia? Something wrong? Why are you calling me back-to-back?”

“For starters, you signed up for excessive calls when you decided to be my friend,” I reminded her. “Also, don’t get me started on your texting habits.”

“Okay, what the hell has gotten into you?” She laughed as she shook her head, leaning behind her to switch a lamp on, which illuminated the view on my screen considerably.

“You’re not going to believe how my night has gone. I’m turning the tables; I’m the one that needs life advice.”

She had an odd look on her face and seemed to be distracted, her eyes trailing off as she looked at something off camera.

“Hello? Did you hear me?” I was pacing around my bedroom by this point, bursting to spill all the details of what had happened.

“Yeah, sorry, I heard you. What’s going on?” She seemed to have her focus back on me now.

I went into all the details of how the evening had gone from start to finish as I continued to pace around my room. I was feeling flustered and anxious about the whole thing the more I thought about it. I wasn’t even sure how to begin to make a decision about the job offer and I was completely avoiding my thoughts on Dieter. While his behavior pissed me off to no end, I couldn’t help but feel hurt all over again. Which was a feeling I didn’t want to acknowledge out of fear that it would send me spiraling all over again.

Lauren sat staring at her phone, wide-eyed. She looked overwhelmed with the word vomit I had just thrown her way.

“Ok, I need a minute to digest all of that,” she finally said. Her attention was again drawn to something else as an exasperated look formed on her face.

“What the hell are you doing over there? Is somebody there?”

“NO! No, it’s…” She appeared to swat at something before she continued, “it’s a cat. I have a cat. A stray. It’s not staying. It’s kind of an annoying jerk,” she said with a nervous laugh. I wasn’t sure if I bought that. I gave her a skeptical look.

“So, Dieter really said all of that to you? Seriously?” she asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Yes, he did. He was a total asshole. He looked like he was on something. He’s like a completely different person.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“Did you ever consider that maybe he’s trying to piss you off on purpose? To push you away?”

She had a sympathetic look on her face now.

“Oh, I know he was trying to do it on purpose. I know him well enough to know when he’s putting on a show. He’s just not usually so cruel about it. I don’t know why he’s being like that.” I shrugged, unsure of what else to say.

“Maybe you should try talking to him again. He’s kind of hardheaded. Perhaps putting some pressure on him might bring him back to his senses.”

“No, you know what, let’s just not focus on him.” I paused briefly, shaking my head again, “I don’t even want to think about him. He’s made it clear how he feels.”

“You can’t avoid it forever.” She gave me a pointed look.

I threw my hand up in frustration as I rolled my eyes, “I’m not avoiding it. I’m accepting the reality of the situation.”

Lauren rolled her eyes in return, “No, you're locking all those feelings away in a secret room in that pretty little head of yours and pretending they don’t exist. I know how you are. You’re both so fucking stubborn.”

I was taken aback by how blunt she was being. That was usually my role.

“Ok, whatever. Can we talk about Carrington now? What should I do about that? I mean, if I take the position in Silicon Valley, I wouldn’t really have to see him once things got settled. So, if there were vibes, it would be a non-issue, right?” I drew my brows down together as I contemplated that choice.

Lauren sighed heavily before she responded, “Look, I can’t tell you what to do about that. All I can say is don’t make a choice based on a man. Any man. You’ve wasted too much of your life doing that. Don’t take the job just because you want to get away from Dieter and don’t not take it because this Carrington guy may or may not have been flirting with you. You do what you want, then we will deal with what comes after.”

She was very matter of fact in her response. Even though that wasn’t the answer I wanted, I knew she was right. I needed to remove the men from the equation and figure out what I really wanted. Lauren spoke up again, pulling me from my thoughts, “Sorry to cut it short, but I gotta go. I need to feed this cat, so he’ll chill out.” She was fighting a smile.

“Why do I feel like you're talking in code about something else?” I gave her a confused look as she started to laugh.

“Oh, gotta go. We'll talk tomorrow. Bye.”

She did not even give me a chance to say bye before hanging up, “What the hell was that about?” I shook my head as I set my phone down on the docking station. There was definitely something going on; her behavior during the call was kind of bizarre, so was the excuse about the stray cat. As if I needed something else to wonder about.

I decided to finish getting ready for bed after that. Even though my mind was racing with so many different thoughts brought on by the day’s events, I was happy to settle in for the night. I laid there for some time, waiting for the melatonin to kick in. It seemed like it took a little longer than normal, but sleep did finally take me.

Two weeks after my dinner with Carrington, I still hadn’t decided. Luckily, he was understanding and said I still had some time to think about it. Lauren was still being weird and dodging questions. I had reached a point that I didn’t care what she was up to. If she wanted me to know, she would tell me. I already had too many things on my plate to worry about. Of course, the universe still wasn’t satisfied with my long list of troubles and decided to add to it.

I was sitting on the couch, attempting to read a book in between my spells of wandering thoughts, when the doorbell rang. To my surprise, it was Gabby. We hadn’t talked at all since news got out that Dieter and I were no longer together. She would send the occasional text to check in on me, but that’s it. Honestly, it was too hard for me to talk to her. It only made me miss him and the life we were building together even more.

Gabby greeted me with a tight hug. When she pulled away, I could see the worry in her eyes.

“I’m sorry to just barge in on you, but I wanted to talk to you in person.”

She gave me a nervous smile as I waved her in and led her over to sit on the couch. She had a tentative look on her face as she asked me how I was doing.

“I’m actually ok. I’ve just been keeping busy and focusing on work mostly.” It was hard to meet her gaze, because I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Her eyes reminded me of her brother’s, which seemed to unearth the raw emotion that I had managed to keep locked away thus far. It was all simmering under the surface for me, and I knew it wouldn’t take much for it to start peeking its ugly little head out of its hidden room.

“Have you seen any of the gossip sites lately?” She started to rub her hands against her thighs, clearly nervous to bring up the topic of her brother.

“Uhm, no. I try to avoid all that stuff these days. I don’t want to know what your brother is up to.” My chest tightened at the mere thought of him. I rubbed my shoulder with my right hand, trying to remain calm and grounded. It was impossible though.

Gabby sighed heavily, “Talia, it’s getting bad,” she said, and I could hear how upset she was. “Every other night he’s out partying with Anna, and he’s gotten into several confrontations with random people at bars and clubs. He isn’t acting like himself at all. I think he’s using something, but I don’t know what it is. We tried to talk to him about it and now he won’t even speak to us. I’m really worried about him.”

I could feel her eyes on me as I stared at a random painting on the wall. Focusing on the swirls of color and different brush strokes to distract myself from what I was feeling.

“I’m not sure why you’re telling me this. I can’t do anything about it. He’s made it pretty clear how he feels.”

“I don’t know what his fucking problem is, but he loves you. I know he does. We could all see it. I think he would listen to you if you would just talk to him.” She had an edge to her voice as she spoke. She never took her eyes off me. I briefly glanced over at her. The fear in her eyes nearly broke me. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I looked back toward the painting.

“I tried Gabby. The night he called and ended it... I had a flight booked for the next day and he told me not to come. He lost his shit when I asked him if he was on drugs. He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

She reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly, “You should have gone anyway. I really think if he sees you in person, he’ll listen.”

“I saw him… Two weeks ago. He was an asshole and made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to speak to me.”

I let out a shuddered breath as I looked down at our hands. Telling her that I couldn’t do anything to stop her brother from hurting himself was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do.

“Maybe if we all tried. I’m pretty sure he has blocked everyone at this point, but we could all show up at his house and talk to him.” Her voice was strained. I could tell she was trying to keep her emotions in check as much as I was.

“Gabby, I just don’t think you can help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.”

I looked up at her and watched as she knitted her brows together at my words. A mixture of frustration and anguish written all over her face.

“You’re not even gonna try?”

“I can’t,” I said quietly. The tears finally spilled down my cheeks.

She shook her head from side to side, not understanding where I was coming from.

“Why not?”

“Because…if I give in, he’ll completely consume me. And if I can’t get through to him, then you’ll lose both of us. I know I won’t be able to come back from it and that scares the hell out of me.”

I could see the fight drain out of her body as she took in what I was saying. I cleared my throat.

“I guess I should probably tell you, I’ve uhm...been offered another job. I have a choice of going to New York or Silicon Valley. I haven’t made my final decision yet, but I’m leaning toward accepting one of them.”

She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, “You guys are really over, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I shook my head in agreement. The tears were now blurring my vision as I felt my face tighten. I gave up on trying to hold it back. She pulled me in for another tight hug.

“I want you to know that I still consider you to be part of this family. I don’t want you to forget that. I’m still holding out hope that fate will bring you guys back together somehow. I’m convinced you two are meant to be.”

I pulled away, giving her a small smile as I thanked her for being there for me when she didn’t have to be. She left soon after that with promises to keep in touch. After she was gone, I laid down on the couch. I stared at the ceiling for who knows how long, completely disassociating. Once I finally came back to my thoughts, I couldn’t help but to question every decision I was making. I felt lost and now I had the added concerns of Dieter’s wellbeing. I had managed to ignore that piece of the puzzle thus far by isolating myself from the knowledge of what he was doing. Now that I was aware, it was going to be hard continuing to ignore it.

A/N: Happy Friday y'all! How are we feeling about asshole Dieter? That was some seriously rude things to say to poor Talia. How about that dinner with Carrington and his offer (and maybe flirting)? And what the hell is Lauren up to? Also, Gabby is seriously breaking my heart right now. So, just another warning...the next chapter is going to be A LOT. When I say they hit rock bottom, I mean it. It's all (slowly) uphill after that though... Chapter 24 is complete and currently with my beta. I'll post the teaser on Monday. The chapter will come as soon as we are done with final edits. 💜

Lastly, everyone give a big thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for her excellent beta skills. She never fails to take things up a notch.

Sound off about your thoughts and feelings for this chapter. You know it gives me life. 😉 As usual, I have included the mood board for this chapter below.

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