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i-write-things · 4 months

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Cuddle Spider

(Yan! Chrollo x Willing! Reader)

It is in human nature to seek warmth. Achieving homeostasis is a characteristic of all living things. When we are cold, we seek warmth, be it physically or emotionally.

Imagine being freezing outside, and right next to you is a fire. But you are not allowed to cuddle up to said fire. You can only admire. A mysterious force is holding you back from gratifying yourself with such a comfort.

That is you right now. You are the one freezing. The cold is a combination of it being winter, and the AC running too much for your liking. Even as you sit on the edge of the bed you feel no warmth. The fire is the very man sitting across from you in a chair, reading and unbothered by the temperatures. And the mysterious force is your conscious.

A part of you wants to cuddle up to him. You're well aware he would be willing to do so. He's not doing a hefty task currently. Even if he only wanted to continue reading, who could hold you and read. His heat would be certainly welcome. Not to mention, the feeling of safety that comes with being wrapped up in his arms.

However, you feel- no, you know this is wrong. This man, though charismatic, intelligent, and thoughtful in his own unique way, is a monster. He took you. Without your consent, he scooped you up and away. And while you no longer have to worry about taxes, morons for customers and coworkers, and feeling touch starved, it doesn't change the fact he is not a good person. He steals things that are considered to be national treasures for the sake of, not even riches nor status, but rather for the thrill of the swiping. And also for a second reason you couldn't quite decipher, though you have your interpretations as to what he meant.

Still. That wasn't even the worst of it. As you look at him now- his raven colored hair hanging over his forehead, covering up that mysterious tattoo and just barely dangling over his eyes. Enigmatic, deep stone colored eyes that carefully scan over the contents of the page that tells a tale of who knows what.- he acts so calm. He is calm, really. But how? After all he's done, the stealing of precious valuables, stealing of people, the mass murderings...You just can't seem to wrap around your head how he can sit here, so relaxed and at ease, all whilst knowing the atrocities he's committed.

And yet, despite this, you still feel that compelling urge to crawl into his lap. To get him to lay down on the bed you now share, and lay down on his chest, his muscular arms creating a safe haven for you. Is it real love you experience, or is it the succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome? The latter being the most likely choice in this scenario. You've been kept here for what you estimate to be about 9 or 10 months. Truthfully, you have no real idea, but this is simply your best guess, judging by the weather and seasons. Though, it feels more like a year or 2 than anything.

Stockholm Syndrome was doing funny things to you. It made you crave the touch of a man you should despise with all your might. You continue to stare and think deeper and deeper about this. Truly, you where the beauty and he was the beast. Although he was an alternate, more backwards version. He started off as the handsome prince, then revealed himself to be a beast.

You and Chrollo. Beauty and the best. You chuckle at the thought. A grave mistake to make while staring at the chap. His observant eyes picked up to you, and a small, amused smirk sneaks onto his face as well.

"What's so funny?" He asked charmingly, as if you had just giggled at a joke he made.

"I-Its...nothin'. Just um...just a dumb thought I had."

"Care to share?"

"As I said, it's pretty dumb. it wasn't even all that funny, really."

"Then what's holding you back from telling me. You seemed as carefree as the wind when you where staring at me a couple of moments ago." His mouth transformed from an amused smirk, to a smug grin. Jerk. Doesn't he know how pretty he looks when he does that? He probably does.

"I-..." Your words die on your tongue and go back down your throat. Of course he knew you where looking. He's Chrollo fucking Lucilfer, of all people.

You have a couple of options. You can compliment him. Distract his thoughts, but you know from experience he will take it, and not give you your reward of changing the subject. You could insult him. But...something tells you not to, and it isn't fear. Just a feeling that you don't want to. You could flip the tables, and ask him what he thinks it is, but he would turn it once more and back to you. He was crafty with his words like that. Lying would be fruitless, as he would know immediately. He knows all your ticks and give aways. Your only option is the truth, and hope he doesn't feel insulted.

"I was just thinking...this whole...thing. It reminds me of beauty and the beast."

"Assuming I'm the beast?" He raises an eyebrow. "and what whole thing are you referring to?"

"I just- Well, um. Okay, yes. in this situation, you are the beast. Or at least, a reverse version. You used to be the handsome prince, and now you're the beast. And the thing I was referring to is...y'know, the not letting me go, thing."

"Hm..." He watches you for a moment with those predatory eyes before speaking. "You thought I was the handsome prince. Though I have revealed my true colors, my looks haven't changed."

Jerk. Handsome jerk.

"Well, yes," You sigh, knowing exactly what he was suggesting. And, it was true. "You're looks haven't changed and...you maybe still are um...y'know. But that doesn't take away from the fact you're a beast."

"I'll take that as a compliment. The beast did anything he could for Belle, if I'm not mistaken. And she did fall for him at some point as well. Are you sure you're still Belle and I'm the beast in this whole 'thing', as you put it?"

"It's only Stockholm Syndrome." You scoff playfully, not being able to help the small smile as you cross your arms.

"Excuse me?"

"I said it was just- oh."

You realize your mistake. A very, very stupid one.

You just admitted you having fallen for him. And that stupid smug grin you so dearly want to either kiss or smack off his face isn't helping.

"L-look, okay, I admit-"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He queries, going to sit beside you on the edge of the bed. His hand started to slowly creep up and down your bicep, causing goosebumps to wake in his touch. Something he felt and was aware of.

"B-because I...W-well.." You nervously spout, looking for any sort of out. You can't tell this...this psychopath your true feelings. Instead of saying something smug, he does something worse:

He waits patiently and silently as you dig yourself into a deeper whole. Of course, you could deny, deny, deny. But...the fire is so close. Despite the force holding you back....if you could only just...relent a little. Besides, you'd feel releived, wouldn't you? Like finally telling your childhood crush you like them while on the playground at recess. That's exactly what this is. You're both on the playground, and he is your silly little crush, and none of this will matter. That doesn't stop your hummingbird of a heart.

Taking in a deep breath, with a face radiating the warmth you wish you'd receive from Chrollo, you finally talk. "Look, I just...Ok. I'm not even sure if I should love you. I mean, yes, I do love you, and I do want to be held and I secretly enjoyed it everytime you held me at night these past couple weeks. I cannot deny the way my h-heart skips everytime your gorgeous eyes observe my every action. Though I find it creepy, I also find it very fascinating. But I still feel like this isn't right. You-You stole many things, killed many people, and outright took me. I just- I just feel like I'm not supposed to love you."

He stares at you quietly for a beat or two after. For a moment, you're afraid you babbled on too fast, and he'd make you repeat yourself. But that's dumb for two reasons. 1. he can see and move faster than you can comprehend. 2. he speaks up after.

"None of your situation calls for normal circumstances. In the world you live in right now, your options are limited."

"Yes, but...-" Your chin is lifted up with his index finger and now you face him. What a sappy, cliche move. It doesn't prevent the already prevalent blush on your face to increase, however.

"You don't have to feel a certain way just because society wouldn't be pleased with it. After all, society wouldn't be pleased about any of this. And yet, no matter what, this will happen, anyway. So why care? It's not as though society has tried to save you."

He raises a point. A fair one, at that. That, doubled with the fact you so badly want to crawl into his arms right now. Who is stopping you? No one has dared help you before. Why should you care?

"I can see the stirring in your mind. You know I'm right." He states. You nod quietly.

"Then, what are you going to do about it?"

After a moment of silence, you give in. You gently push him back down to lay on the bed. At first, his eyebrows raise in surprise. He didn't think he convinced you to go this fast. But his confusion is soon quelled with an answer as you lay down on him, cuddling up to him in a much more wholesome manner than he thought you would. His expression softens. As you lay your head on his chest and curl up to him, he wraps his warm, protective arms around you. The book and mysterious force now gone. It all had dissolved much like a weak resolute in a strong resolvent. He let's out a peaceful, happy sigh, and you follow suit.

"You know, I've known about how you felt for some time." He reveals.

...Honestly, you knew. You are well aware nothing gets passed him. You where only just saving yourself from the embarrassment of admitting, and from the force that had held you back for what felt like a year.

"I know," you sigh "I'm just glad I get to do this now. Is it....is it okay of we do it more often?"

He let's out a handsome chuckle "Of course, my dear. How can I say no to denying you of what you desire when it's something as simple and precious as this? I had a feeling you might like this. Before I took you away, you where quite the cuddle bug."

"Hmm....." You hum. "Cuddle spider." You correct, nuzzling his chest. This felt much better than just staring at him from afar.

"Yes," he chuckles, liking your little pun. "My cuddle spider."

#i write for you #chrollo #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #writing for you #chrollo headcanon #Loosely proof read #probably a lot of mistakes #sorry if there is #chrollo x willing reader #yandere chrollo x Willing reader

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flutterflora · 1 month

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Whenever I see people say things like "Pinkie Pie should've been a pegasus" or "Fluttershy fits earth pony more" I get a little frustrated because TO ME the mane six have always been a really good example of "societal expectations" VS "societal deviance" of the three pony species within equestria.

Earth ponies are almost always expected to be providers. Like the Apple family for example or the Cake family OR even the "flower trio". They provide necessities, often food or they often provide hard labour (note how "background" jobs like construction and taxi pulling are most often done by earth ponies too). Applejack is obviously a perfect example of this! She's the head of her family, she's extremely hard working, shes incredibly physically strong, she's known and relied on by most of Ponyvill. Applejack very much lives up to the expectations that pony society has of earth ponies.

Pinkie Pie on the other hand is not one bit concerned with hard work. Her whole thing is having fun and throwing parties. In a way she is also providing something very important and necessary, socialisation and relaxation, however these are generally not deemed as valuable as strenuous labour and food production. Pinkie Pie is always written off as "childish" or not taking things seriously enough. She isn't deemed as very reliable a lot of the time and has to work very hard to prove herself, more so than someone like Applejack.

Ponyvill was founded by earth pony farmers, and is densely populated by earth ponies. Earth ponies are expected to work hard and grow food and provide for everyone, their roles are incredibly necessary and their work is highly appreciated. However, without someone like Pinkie Pie who deviates from those expectations, Ponyvill would be a miserable place (as seen in the episode Magical Mystery Cure). She may not be a farmer or a construction worker but her divergence from earth pony "standards" is what keeps everything in balance.

The same can be said for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy too. Rainbow Dash is an exceptional athlete, she flies like no other pony and she almost always has her wits about her. At the end of the day, Rainbow Dash is truly a performer at heart, she wants to be in the Wonderbolts and show off her skills to all of Equestria. Pegasi are expected to be fast, agile, eager, always cool, proud and quick witted just like the Wonderbolts, and just like Rainbow Dash. She is a peak performance pegasus.

Fluttershy is Rainbows exact opposite. She doesn't care for speed, adventure or displays of athleticism, she truly doesn't even care for flying. She is, in both a literal and metaphorical way, very "down to earth", however her role is still very important and her being a pegasus is still very integral to who she is. If it weren't for her experiences of being ostracised for being different she would never have the empathy and dedication to her animals the way she does (and on more practical note, being able to fly does aid her in her work a lot the time). Fluttershy slows down, she's quiet and she gentle which something that other pegasi (and earth ponies honestly) struggle with. It was alway right for Fluttershy to be a pegasus who could soar the skies, because if she never fell down to earth she would have never found her true calling. Without ponies like her, many important things, creatures and events would go unnoticed and unchecked.

Rarity and Twilight Sparkle is kind of a funny one because I think a lot of people may expect Twilight to be the prime example of unicorns, but that's not really true at all. Twilight, despite being our mane character, is actually the deviant one here.

This is illustrated for us almost immediately in the first episode, where she's invited to a party by three other unicorns but ditches it to go study instead. Magic is merely a tool for most unicorns, but for ponies like Twilight or Starlight, it is their whole existence, it's what they were quite literally born to do. Twilight does not value social status at all, she doesn't have time to and growing up so stuck in her studies I'm not even sure she aware that it's such a big deal to others, especially within Canterlot. It's also worth noting that to Twilight, Princess Celestia was always her teacher and Princess Cadence was her babysitter so their status as royals never really mattered to her and she's able to see them more are regular ponies for that reason also.

Most Unicorns are socialites, they value "social currency" and monetary gain more than they value magic. They don't care that the Princesses are very powerful magically, they care more about their political powers and their social status as royals. We see this clearly in the season 2 episode "Sweet and Elite" where Rarity gets swept up on the high society life of Canterlot, when she mentions being from Ponyvill to two random snobby unicorns they look down on her, yet once it's revealed that she's staying at the castle for her visit, things change, mostly notably: her status. Rarity is a prime example of a unicorn, she's stylish, she's ambitious, she's concerned with image, she's social, she has very fine tastes and she's a businesswoman.

As the series progresses we she both Twilight and Rarity gain some fame. Twilight is mostly inconvenienced and troubled by this whereas Rarity, like most unicorns would, relishes in any sort of limelight. Unicorns are expected to be professional, they're most often more modern or "ahead of the curve" than other ponies and tend they to be the primary business owners of Equestria. However without ponies like Twilight, magic would become just an afterthought. Without powerful wizards like Starswirl, dedicated students like Subburt or magic obsessed freaks (affectionate) like Twilight Sparkle, pony society would crumble.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are prime examples of what is expected of earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns, respectively, in Equestrian society. However without ponies like Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle there would be no balance and no progression. In fact in the episode "Hearts Warming Eve" we literally get canon lore telling us that if it wasn't for three ponies who deviated from the rules and expectations of their respective tribes, that Equestria wouldn't even exist today.

I think the mane six are a great small scale example of how pony society functions and I really appreciate this aspect of the writing <3

#mlp #my little pony #my little pony friendship is magic #mlp fim #quilly rambles #also i'm aware that in HWE smart cookie is played by AJ not ponkie but it's just a play so plz just let me have this #this has been on my mind a lot tbh #for a very long time #genuinely very sorry or any spelling errors typos or phase misuse i tried to proof read but dyslexia is still dyslexing

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tenderpreyy · 9 months

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I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.

I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.

So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days but i thought why not just post it. its been on my mind.#i saw someone in the notes under a post about astarion literally counting off how often he mentions men vs women #and asking for proof of where he shows he is in fact attracted to women.#like... do you see what you're doing here??#aaaand another thing since people love bringing up his flamboyancy.... he is obviously playing that up a lot #because you know... that whole 'i have to seduce people so i am safe' thing #not saying that thats not also the real him but breaking it down to flamboyant=gay makes even less sense in the context.#its not that i think people shouldn't headcanon him as gay or asexual or whatever #i think thats great too. seeing different people's readings of the character.#just.... leave out the bi-/panphobia ffs. people dont have to show proof that they are in fact bi/pan.

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moonpaw · 3 months

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did manga editing for 16 hours today

#wrapped up the incorrect font type this morning and then went over bon-chan's okama lines throughout alabasta saga #and then fixed up parts in skypiea #only one more volume left to get proof read then skypiea is finished #and then i'll upload these other fixes and make them public #ahh that was a lot of work in 1 day but i made a lot of progress im satisfied with #esp the font issue #looks good now looks natural #tonight ill probably take a small break from the manga for a day and focus on commissions

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nav-i-nav · 3 months

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“We found Basil tending to his garden, as usual! He was so confused when we whisked him away towards the forest! Just wait until he sees what we prepared for him! I bet he’s going to love it!”

📷🌻 Happy birthday, Basil! 🌻📷

Small one-shot for my AU below… thank you if you read it….!

"Hurry up, Basil!" Aubrey urged, pushing the mint-haired boy with all of her strength, her large ribbon bouncing on top of her head with each step she took. The girl huffed and puffed, almost tripping and knocking the gardener over in the process. Nevertheless, she continued, her cheerful but bossy tone echoing throughout the flower field the four friends were passing through."Or else we're not going to make it on time for your surprise birthday party! Mari would be really mad if we–”

As soon as those words left her lips, she stopped dead in her tracks, her smile turning sheepish as she rubbed the back of her neck. "Oops.…"

Next to her, a short boy with messy hair let out a loud groan, puffing his cheeks in annoyance.

"Great job, Aubrey!" He exclaimed with disdain. Next to him, Sunny narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue in disproval. "You ruined it!"

"It was an honest accident, okay?! No need to be such a jerk over it…" The girl snapped back at him, turning around to face him and crossing her arms. "Besides, you almost spilled the beans when you dragged Basil away from his garden anyway, so don't try to act like you know how to keep a secret either, Chico!"

Aubrey then returned her attention to Basil with the same shy expression, ignoring Chico's protests as she clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. “Can you please act surprised once we get to the treehouse? Mari and Hero worked really hard to get everything ready for the party and I’d be really sad if all their hard work went to waste because of me.”

Basil simply shrugged, a small teasing smile forming on his lips as he giggled. “What party?”

The girl let out a big sigh of relief, giving him a thankful nod before she nudged him forward. “Well, let’s keep moving then! We can’t waste any more time standing around here like a couple of lost sprout moles!” As she said that, she shot Chico an accusatory glare, to which the boy replied with an offended “What?!”

“Oh, quit playing dumb!” Aubrey tapped her foot against the ground, her brows furrowing as she pressed her lips together. “You know as well as I do that if it weren’t for you and your stupid obsession to prove you’re strong, we wouldn’t be running late!”

“It’s not stupid!” Chico argued back, placing his hands on his hips and rolling his eyes. “If we hadn’t dealt with those sprout moles who knows what might’ve happened. What if someone got hurt?”

“Since when do you care if someone gets hurt or not? All you wanted was to show off!”

“Did not!”

“You so did!”

“You’re such a liar!”

“Guys…” Basil let out an awkward laugh, stepping in between the two of them. “If you keep arguing like this, we definitely won’t make it to the treehouse in time.”

Aubrey opened her mouth, ready to protest, but she simply huffed and nodded, crossing her arms and looking away from Chico. “Fine.”

Basil waited.

Three.

Two.

On–

"But we definitely wouldn't have had to take so many twists and turns if it weren’t for Chico always fooling around. Hmph!”

There it is.

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is!”

“Nuh-uh! Both you and Sunny kept getting distracted as well! Stop acting as if it’s all my fault!”

Basil sighed, giving up trying to get his friends to listen to him. Why did all their conversations have to end with the two of them fighting? He knew neither of them was actually upset, but still… Couldn’t they at least try to get along just once?

At least they managed to find this field of flowers after having to take so many shortcuts. All the flowers were different shades of blue and purple, their petals gently swaying in the summer breeze. Basil had made sure to take note of all the different kinds of plants he found as they made their way amongst the grass. Ah, if only they could stop for a little while so he could take in the scenery better…

Well, there was no benefit in dwelling over it. And he could always come back here another day. But the sky was so pretty…

Slowly, Basil pulled out his camera, focusing the lens on the flowers. He held his breath, and…

Click!

The photo slowly slid down into his hand, the gardener grasping the Polaroid with care as he waited for the image to fully develop. Slowly, the colors began burning into the paper, all the hues mixing together to reveal a beautiful scenery.

The mint-haired boy smiled, satisfied, and put the photo in his pocket, he didn’t want it to be damaged until he could place it in the photo album, after all. He couldn’t wait to show everyone. Sunny would probably want to draw–

He snapped back from his thoughts, looking back at his friends.

“Where’s Sunny?”

Aubrey and Chico stopped their bickering, the two of them turning back to Basil with confused expressions, confusion that quickly turned to shame. Basil’s smile soon vanished as he let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. That was all he needed to know.

“He wandered off on his own, didn’t he?”

No response.

That was all he needed to know. Basil shook his head, looking around the flower field to see if he could find any trace of his best friend. Unfortunately for him, Sunny proved to be quite the sneaky one, as there were no footprints to follow. He pressed his lips together, before taking another deep breath and putting on a bright smile, his tone cheerful and calm. “Th-that’s okay! We’ll just have to look for him. I doubt he got too far away, so why don’t we split up? The field isn’t that big, anyway.”

“Good idea, Basil!” Right away, Aubrey nodded, already bouncing on her feet as she looked around. “I’ll take the left and Chico can take the right!”

“Why do I–”

“And Basil,” Aubrey continued through gritted teeth, shooting Chico another warning stare. “can go back to where we came from to see if Sunny went back.”

Before Chico could try to argue again, the gardener hummed in agreement, pressing his hands together. “Sounds like a plan! Let’s meet up here in five minutes, okay?”

His friends answered with an “Okay.” at the same time, though Chico was clearly still upset about having to follow Aubrey’s lead, grumbling under his breath as he walked away. Likewise, Aubrey’s bow kept bouncing up and down as the girl cheerfully hopped away. She reminded him of a bunny.

Once he was alone, Basil began walking back the way they came, scanning his surroundings as he tried to find any sign of his best friend. As he walked, he couldn’t help but hum a little tune to himself, his hands brushing against the forget-me-nots and lavenders’ soft petals. The flowers’ fragrance filled his nostrils, making him calm down. Despite how he tried to keep his composure, in truth, he was a little afraid. By all means, he didn’t doubt Sunny was strong enough to take care of himself, and he wasn’t one to rush into battle, but this was still an unknown place, as pretty as it was.

Aubrey always told him he worried too much about them, but he couldn’t help it. He loved his friends more than anything, so if anything were to happen to them….

Basil always made sure his friends stayed safe. It was a bit tiring, sure, but caring for those he was closest to always filled him with a warm sense of fulfillment and peace. He did feel a little bad from time to time, constantly chasing after them and nagging them to be careful, feeling like he was being too pushy or too nosy, but they never seemed to mind. Well, except for Chico… hehe…

He kept walking until he caught a glimpse of a blue rose out of the corner of his eye. Curious, Basil crouched down, reaching his hand out towards the flower. As his fingertips traced the edges of the flower’s petals, he couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by it. He had never seen a rose such as this. What was such a rare flower doing all alone, surrounded by so many different flowers?

He had the urge to take it back with him and care for it so he could show it to his friends. Something about it was so unique and appealing that he just couldn’t leave it here and–

“Ouch!” Basil winced, taking away his hand as one of its thorns managed to pierce through his gloves and prick his finger. He could feel his eyes tearing up a little due to the pain. As he took off his glove and examined his hand, he could see a thin trail of blood slowly dripping from the tip of his ring finger. Despite the thorn’s small size, the cut stung quite a bit.

“I guess I deserve that.” Basil chuckled, shaking his hand to get rid of the blood. Indeed, he had been selfish and didn’t consider what would happen to the rose had he tried to pluck it. Maybe there was a reason it chose to bloom surrounded by so many different flowers. He hummed, rummaging through his pockets as he looked for a bandaid for his injury.

As he did, he couldn’t help but muse. He hadn’t changed, had he? He cared for his friends, yes, but he did so because he was afraid they would leave him if he did something wrong. He did his best to smile and be kind, but sometimes it was quite tiring to chase after Chico or to remind Sunny to take a break from drawing. Sometimes he’d even have to stop Hero from taking on another chore even if he was already very busy.

Just now he had thought about how exhausting it was to constantly have to play peacemaker whenever Aubrey and Chico argued. But, was it so wrong to feel that way?

Basil ran his hand through his hair as he stood up, a small, resigned sigh leaving his lips. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He should be grateful he had such good friends! Sure, they could be a little rowdy and careless from time to time, but at the end of the day, they were still kids. And he was one too. He couldn’t act like he was more mature than them just because he wasn’t as impulsive as them, now could he?

To be honest, the gardener wished he could have some of the bravery and enthusiasm they had. Although he didn’t like exploring as much as his friends, he was always coaxed into accompanying them. It was fun, but also a bit too extreme for his taste…

Oh well…

As he heard his friends’ quick footsteps and cheerful voices growing closer, Basil took one last look at the lonely blue rose hidden in the grass.

Maybe one day he’ll be able to do as he pleases.

But for now, he’s more than happy simply tagging along in his friend’s adventures.

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every-aj-needs-an-angel · 11 months

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Part 1 sorry this took so long, the heatwave melted my brain

It took far longer than either of them intended to make it to breakfast, mainly because once Eddie had finished making a mess of the both of them, he had insisted on washing Steve's hair for him, which honestly was the most blissful out-of-body thing that he'd ever experienced; but as the two of them walked down the boulevard together, brushing shoulders and for a lack of a better word, giggling, Steve couldn't remember feeling happier.

Eddie had the most gorgeous smile and every time he directed it at Steve, god! he felt… lighter, like he could float away any second, but at the same time, just by that same smile, he knew without a doubt that Eddie had him tethered safely to the ground.

And holy fuck if it wasn't just the best feeling! It wasn't something Steve had ever experienced before, because yeah, he's got Robin, but she's a steady kind of safety, he knows beyond doubt that they're two halves of a whole, she's his rock as much as he's hers and the day they met something just fell into place for both of them. And he has his little found family, he knows he can go home to them (or they'll come to him) any time, he knows he's safe in their embrace, like they're his shelter in a storm.

But this is different, he barely knows Eddie, hasn't spent more than a few hours with him, but it's like Eddie has this protective bubble around them both, like they're floating along together in this impenetrable shield and the outside world means nothing when he's held in Eddie's gaze, and he just knows he's safe, he can feel it deep in his bones.

And jesus! when they kiss! He's never felt anything like it. It’s like he's filled with bubbles that not only pop but fizzle, like someone's dropped a bathbomb into his chest, letting it froth and effervesce, like it's rolling and twirling around churning up his insides in the most spectacular way, and he almost can't breathe because of it.

It's fucking weird and glorious all at once.

Too much and not enough and he never wants it to stop because he knows he's never felt this way about anyone before, hell he hadn't even known it could feel this way and it's kinda scaring the living shit out of him because what if the last few hours were all Eddie wanted, what if Eddie's here for a fun time and not a long time and Steve has to go back home and learn to live without feeling like this.

Eddie nudged him gently, snapping him out of his spiral into the abyss, his eyes landing on Eddie's warm affectionate grin, following his pointing arm to where Robin and Chris were in the cafe across the street, sitting in a booth by the window, leaning into one another across the table, deep in conversation and grinning brighter than the Nevada sun.

Robin blushed deeply as Chris tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear, and Steve had seen that look before (usually aimed at him) but he'd never seen her look like that before, not with Jamie or Izzy and certainly not with Sammi ("Sammi with an 'i'", god he'd really hated her), because yeah she was blushing, that was nothing new, but she looked comfortable! She wasn't ducking her head, becoming all flustered and shy, no, she looked relaxed, confident even, like she'd known her forever.

The pair were so engrossed in each other that neither of them even glanced up as the bell above the door jingled when he and Eddie entered. Robin completely missing the way Eddie’s hand fit so naturally into the small of his back as he guided him gently over to their table. Steve felt giddy from it, like he was floating on air! It was so incredibly intimate and a little bit possessive, like Eddie couldn't keep his hands off of him and Steve just knew it was going to be his main topic of conversation for at least the next century.

Honestly, he couldn't even be that mad that she'd missed it, not when he saw how content and engrossed she was with Chris. He hadn't seen her smile that much since Vickie, which now that he thought about it was far too long ago for his liking. Normally on first dates she went for this cool, aloof thing, trying to push her real personality down for reasons Steve had never understood, but Robin was genuinely smiling, her real toothy, goofy grin as she chatted animatedly.

And Chris seemed equally spellbound, eyes wide and nodding, giggly and captivated. Not that it was surprising to Steve, Robin had always had this otherworldly quality about her; his best friend was beautiful, anyone could see that, but if she was passionate enough about a topic, she seemed to glow and her voice alone became sort of mesmerising.

Like the one time they’d actually got to work early, during a particularly cold snap, and while they were waiting for Jeremy to open up, Robin had started to tell Steve all about Yetis and the difference between Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman. Only what neither of them realised was that instead of having a ten-minute chat, they’d actually sat there for three hours. Unfortunately, they were already on their last warning for being late, so it had got them fired, but they weren't too bothered, the worst thing about it was trying to find a new job in below-freezing weather.

The girls only really looked away from one another when he and Eddie slid into the booth next to their respective best friends, both still dressed up to the nines, Robin's mascara all but gone, bits all down her cheeks from where she'd rubbed at it. But it was her beaming smile told Steve all he needed to know, she was elated, she'd had a brilliant night, she couldn't wait to relay every detail to him later, and oh my god, Evie, she's amazing, I think I'm in love!

That sent Steve's attention across the table, the two best friends seemed to be having a similarly telepathic conversation, their attention quickly turning away from each other back to Steve and Robin. But it was funny how Chris and Robin had almost precisely timed Steve and Eddie’s arrival because no sooner had Steve been reintroduced to Chrissy, "Eds' BFF, platonic soulmate and personal cheerleader!", the waitress arrived with food for the four of them.

Steve was kind of glad for the distraction of plates and cutlery and condiments because shaking Chrissy's hand had sent another vision into Steve's mind of meeting her and Eddie the night before and as far as he could remember he was being so embarrassingly obvious in his attraction to Eddie, that he'd barely taken his eyes off of him long enough to have the common decency to even glance in her direction.

Being pathetically obsessed within the first five minutes, real smooth Steve!

They ate silently to begin with, happily just enjoying their meals; the food was delicious, and it had been far too long since any of them had had any proper nourishment. And Robin, his heavenly, wondrous Robin, had ordered his favourite dish, which with every mouthful was soothing the lingering aches of his hangover and given the blissed-out little moans slipping out of Eddie every now and again, he was clearly enjoying whatever meaty, eggy, goodness Chrissy had ordered for him.

Eventually though, sitting across from Eddie started to become just a tiny bit tortuous, especially when one particular groan, resonating from the back of his throat, brought forth a very clear vision of Eddie on his back in bed, making that very same sound as Steve kissed his way down his body. Fucking hell!

Suddenly Steve wasn't all that embarrassed about whatever he'd done that'd attracted Eddie to him because he truly was a sight to behold, in bed or otherwise.

Steve's attention was snapped away from thoughts of naked-Eddie back to the cafe when Chrissy giggled, at what he wasn't sure, he could only assume it was an inside joke when Eddie elbowed her playfully, snorting and mumbling a whined "shut. up!" even though she hadn't said a word. His pretty dimples coming out as he shoved more food in his mouth, keeping his gaze on his meal and smiling reluctantly around his fork as she cackled beside him.

Robin nudged him under the table with her foot and gave him a look that said "this dork, really?" And Steve couldn't help but grin because yes this dork and his adorable cheerleader, if it were up to him they'd keep the pair of them forever because watching the two best friends tease each other was just too fucking cute! Almost like looking through a picture book filled with their rich history, their deep adoration etched into the smiles on every page.

Steve didn't know what it was about them, they just both had that something; Robin would call it an aura, but it just felt good to be around them. The happiness they shared together exuded, pulling you in rather than pushing you out and Steve just wanted to bask in it, like he was Yurtle and Eddie and Chrissy were the heat lamp.

Steve knew he hadn't always been the best judge of character, he'd been duped a time or two, but he trusted Robin's instincts, if she thought Chrissy was a good person, good enough to spend all night with, good enough to maybe be in love with, then Steve believed it unquestionably, because in all the time he'd known her she'd never been wrong about someone.

She'd never liked Ashley and quite right too given the little rat was the one who'd been feeding HR all the reports that'd got them both fired. She'd hated Billy from the minute she met him, and well the less he thought about that the better. She’d felt the same abhorration for Carl, the electrician who as it turned out was wanted in several states for crimes he didn't like to think too closely about, given he'd left Robin alone with him.

When, in a fit of desperation, Steve had joined a dating service and met Angel (or SheDevil as Robin liked to refer to her as) who as it turned out was one of his dads "business associates" who (for some sick reason neither of them could fathom) had wanted to sleep with Steve; Robin had gone berserk, they’d had a massive fight before he’d left for his date but even when he came back shaken and tempestuous, she never said I told you so, she just wrapped him up in a blanket, made him a hot chocolate and let him cry into her shoulder until he felt better.

That was the day he decided he was always going to trust her gut unconditionally because it was clear she would always just know better than he did.

So Steve knew Eddie and Chrissy must be something truly special for Robin to be so comfortable around them, for her to let Steve get married because as much as she claimed she was powerless against his determination, they both knew that wasn't true. He was well and truly wrapped around her little finger and if she'd said no and meant it he would've trusted her intuition implicitly. She was his soulmate for a reason, not only because he wasn't entirely sure he could survive without her, but because she was the brains of the pairing; he still wasn't entirely sure how he’d managed to stay alive for the first two decades of his life without her.

He'd been so deep in thought that he started when Robin began chatting perpetually again; it was uncanny how she always did that, like she could almost sense that was thinking about her, so she’d just start talking, about anything and everything. He'd missed the white noise of her voice, like he always did when she was quiet, mainly because if her voice wasn't filling the space, his mind just had this tendency to run away with him, like a train on a track heading downhill.

Although, he could’ve lived happily without the vicariously embarrassing blow-by-blow of the night before.

Apparently, the four of them had met each other in the third club Steve and Robin had been in, Steve had spotted Eddie across the room and immediately started his five-drink-Steve ritual of making it his mission to keep Eddie forever.

No-one was more surprised than Robin when Steve's tactics had actually worked, her and Chrissy clicking over their mutual love and mortification they felt for their, platonic with a capital p, soulmates.

Apparently, nine-drink-Eddie had decided to ask twelve-drink-Steve to marry him, Steve, somewhat unsurprisingly, gave him a teary yes before he'd really had the chance to finish asking.

They were married by a man Robin was convinced was actually Elvis (nobody had the heart to correct her).

No-one could decide who should hold the bouquet, so they had one each, both girls caught Eddie's, whereas Steve, for all his sporting prowess, managed to hit the receptionist in the face with his, getting them promptly thrown out of the chapel.

Steve was already half naked before they'd even made it back to the hotel, it was undecided who'd undressed him. A mystery only Vegas knew the answer to. They’d made it across the hotel lobby by the grace of god and because Chrissy had played her "help the pretty blonde card" with the guy at the front desk as a distraction.

Robin had no more details for their night, but Steve was pretty sure he could piece the rest of that together himself, he was just glad the lift had been empty after all.

And the girls had had a whale of a time after they'd ushered the newly-weds off to bed, they'd carried on to several venues, including a drag show, another wedding (one that was actually planned for longer than five minutes!) a concert, three more bars, and finally headed back to the hotel.

"And then Chrissy rang Nancy! Oh my god, Steve! It's such a small world, right, 'cause Eds and Chris are from Indy too. It's crazy we've never met, huh? But anyway, we were thinking how funny would it be if Eds' dickhead ex opened the paper this morning to find out he's already moved on, and not only that, moved on with the King of Hawkins High himself! 'Cause Eds' ex is from Hawkins, like you! I bet you knew him! But yeah, turns out Chris knows Nancy, you know, your Nancy and well..."

Robin was definitely still speaking, but Steve's ears had started to ring again, not because his head was hurting but because he was pretty sure he was about to throw up! Nancy had put their wedding announcement in the Indy Independent, the very paper everyone he'd ever known read, including his parents! Not that he cared what they thought, but going from fired to married in a little over a week was a twist even for him. And Hop and Claudia! They were going to go absolutely mental! And the kids! At least they’d probably find it a little funny, unlike Hop who’d blow his top for sure.

Well, that's one way for everyone to find out! And no doubt Nancy found it beyond hilarious.

He and Nancy hadn't parted on the best terms. They'd broken up during a massive argument two days before their first anniversary, apparently he'd wanted more than she could possibly give him because she "just couldn't imagine staying with the same guy forever", only for her then to start up with her photographer boyfriend a few weeks later and as far as Steve knew they were still together all these years later, so that was obviously utter bullshit.

When Steve had continued babysitting the kids they'd tried to be friends, well given how little time they ever spent in the same room together, he supposed that classed as them trying to be civil, mainly for Will and Mike's sake, but Steve was grateful when Jon and Nancy had moved away after graduation.

And Steve didn't see them again for a long time, it was just sods fucking law that he happened to bump into them right after everything had imploded with Billy.

Robin had finally convinced him to go with her to a club she knew, he hadn't really wanted to be there in the first place and seeing Nancy again was the last thing he needed, feeling far too sore for the pitying look she gave him, he'd kicked off big time, trying to get her to admit that the real reason she'd left him was because he was just unlovable.

It wasn't his best night, and given she'd left in tears, it probably wasn't hers either. So he's no doubt she found it laugh-out-loud pathetic that the only way he'd eventually got married was to a total stranger while off his tits on holiday.

Steve glanced over at Eddie to see he'd gone white as a sheet, he gently called his name a couple of times, but he seemed to be in a world all of his own. Steve wanted to reach for his hand, but he wasn't sure how Eddie would react to that, and he didn't want to freak him out more, so he left his hand palm up on the tabletop next to Eddie’s hoping it was enough, leaving him a clear indicator that his comfort was there if he wanted it.

Eddie stayed in his trance for a few more minutes before a car drove past the restaurant, bouncing light through the window, causing Steve's ring to glint in his vision. That seemed to snap him out of it, Eddie all but throwing his hand into Steve's, gripping it tightly.

"Dan knows?" Eddie's voice shook with what sounded like disbelief. Steve, worrying he might burst into tears any second, started rubbing his thumb soothingly along Eddie’s knuckles.

Steve thought back to all the Daniel's he'd known in high school, couldn't think of a single one of them good enough for Eddie, and although King Steve wasn't good enough for Eddie either, at least he'd made the effort to become a better person.

A person who could maybe be good enough for someone like Eddie, with his resplendent smile and his inspirational laugh, his wondrous voice and wicked tongue. But clearly Dan hadn't bothered to grow, he'd stayed the same small town jumped-up dickhead that thought he was too good for the remarkable man in front of him.

More fool him!

Dan's loss and hopefully, if he played his cards right, Steve's gain.

Steve brought his other hand up to join the first, so he was cradling Eddie's hand in both of his, trying to be as comforting as he could from across the table, but then Eddie had started to laugh, deep and brilliant and merry, as though it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"Oh, ho, ho! I wish I could've seen his face! I wonder if Jason took a picture? We could get it framed! OH! Album cover!" Eddie was practically vibrating in his seat, Chrissy joining in with his raucous laughter.

Steve looked at Robin, she looked equally baffled, oh good it's not just me!

As much as Steve wished he had a clue, it was nice to see how easily Chrissy matched Eddie's energy, bouncing up and down next to him, waving her arm frantically, "Oh, no, no, no! Stage backdrop!" she managed between peels of laughter, making Eddie laugh so hard he started banging the table with his free hand, desperately trying to catch his breath.

Chrissy looked across the booth, quickly catching his and Robin's confusion, sucking in a deep breath and jumping right into regaling them with stories of Eddie's early music career. Of Corroded Coffins' humble beginnings, practising in Jeff's garage and playing to disinterested patrons of their local bar. How they'd caught a break getting a regular gig in Indy, how they'd been discovered by a scout who just happened to be passing through. How they'd been on the edge of stardom, only for Eddie to have his dreams squashed with the promise of forever that never came to fruition, no matter how much Eddie conformed to Dan's every demand.

Steve listened in awe, Chrissy was an excellent storyteller and Eddie turned a beautiful shade of crimson whenever his best friend praised him, but Eddie's demeanour changed as the story became heartbreaking and all Steve could do was squeeze Eddie’s hand tighter; he knew what it was like to live with a dream squasher, someone who wanted to mould you into what they wanted you to be, instead of loving you for who you are. Not that he could understand how anyone would want to try to change Eddie, or how anyone could want to take anything away from him; or how anyone could see how happy his dreams made him and not want to do everything in their power to make them come true.

He could tell Robin was equally fascinated, but Vegas was clearly catching up with her, she was desperately trying to fight sleep, nodding off and shifting, staying awake for a few minutes to keep listening to Chris' stories but nodding off again. When Robin nearly face-planted her empty plate, Chrissy interrupted herself to suggest they head back to the hotel.

Not that Robin wanted to leave their company, she whined and protested, but quickly settled as soon as Eddie suggested they all meet up in the evening to go to a concert. Steve didn't quite catch the name of the artist, but from the way Robin bounced on the balls of her feet, he could tell she was excited about them. Steve didn't care if they were going to see the Queen of England's attempt at a comedy gig, Rick Astley repeat Never Gonna Give You Up for two hours straight or an elderly man give a talk about growing tomatoes, he was just happy to be spending more time with them.

It was hot out on The Strip, the sun high in the sky, bathing them in light and making Eddie look almost ethereal as he walked quietly by Steve's side. Eddie wasn't looking at him like he had been when they'd set off to the restaurant, he was glancing around at all the sights of Vegas, so Steve felt free to really look. Even looking at Eddie's profile knocked the breath out of Steve like a smack to the chest, he was just so beautiful, Steve felt more like he was looking at a piece of art than a human being.

Eddie’s hair wasn't just brown, in the sunlight Steve could see it was a mix of every colour, blondes and reds and browns all intermingled in his little ringlets. Neither were his eyes, they were speckled with gold and amber flecks that shone and sparkled as the light reflected from them. His pale skin was slowly turning pink in the midday heat, making a multitude of tiny scars on his face and neck shimmer. Steve wanted to kiss every one, he wanted to know the stories behind each mark, wanted to heal the past hurts with gentle caresses.

How could anyone ever want to hurt you?

With that thought, Steve's mind couldn't help but wander to Eddie and Dan's relationship, he just couldn't get over how endlessly unfair it was that Eddie had had to go through a relationship like that. Being in love with someone who didn't love you back was terrible enough, but being with someone willing to manipulate you into giving up your dreams, into becoming a whole other person out of desperation to be a good partner then to have the nerve to publicly blame you for the demise of the relationship, was just horrific.

Eddie didn't deserve that, he deserved someone willing to hang the moon and the stars for him.

And as much as a sick part of Steve understood the desire to want to keep Eddie all to himself, to keep his voice all for himself because when he thought back to the way Eddie had drawn him in without even making a true effort, Steve knew that if Eddie sang with intent the whole world would want a piece. But he supposed the difference was, he understood how selfish it would be to do that, to stand in Eddie's way of making his dreams come true, to not actively help him to actualize those dreams, to stop him from sharing his gifts with the world!

Eddie drew him out of his musings by bumping his shoulder into Steve's, a warm, playful smile on his face that Steve couldn't help but respond to, gesturing behind them with his eyes. Eddie seemed delighted when Steve snuck a glance over his shoulder at Chrissy and Robin; they were holding hands, Robin, getting more drowsy with every step they took in the intense heat, was practically being held up by Chrissy, not that it had any effect on the dopey smiles they were directing at each other.

"Adorable" Eddie mouthed when Steve's gaze flicked back to him, he couldn't help but agree, even if he did feel that little twinge of jealousy that the two of them could be so freely wrapped up in one another. Apart from when he was dating a girl, Steve never felt confident being openly affectionate in public, he always felt like it needed a big conversation about what the other person was comfortable with, and then he was accused of overthinking everything and making it weird.

He knew it was down to the way Billy had treated him and the thing was it made sense back in Hawkins but when they'd moved to Indy they lived in a safe part of town, he saw couples just being themselves all the time but the one time he accidentally grabbed Billy's hand during a thriller at the cinema, he'd acted like it was the end of the world, like Steve had doomed them somehow and when something so small causes your partner to temporarily move out it's bound to make you self-conscious.

Steve was glad when they arrived back at the hotel, he was fine in the sunshine, other than the time when he was fifteen and he'd fallen asleep in one of his sun loungers for eight or so hours, he never burned, but Eddie's cheeks already had a permanent pinkening and Robin may as well be a vampire she burned so easily, Chrissy had rosy cheeks now too, but he wasn't sure whether that was down to the sun or Robin's affection.

The lobby air conditioning had perked Robin up like a slap to the face, she was back to chattering easily with Eddie, telling elaborate stories of her marching band days, waving not only her own hands about but Chrissy's too where she hadn't realised she hadn't let go, not that Chris seemed to mind. Steve couldn't help but smile at them, they were too cute; even Vickie eventually became tired of Robin's rambling, she’d learned ways to discreetly quieten her, but Robin noticed, of course she did, it was the reason for the first time he'd ever seen Robin cry, but Chris just seemed enchanted, it made Steve's heart happy.

Steve was trying to keep track of their conversation, but his brain was blanking, now they were back in the midst of the hotel he was suddenly uneasy, every second that ticked by, every step they took was one closer to having to part, but they couldn’t linger, it was check-in time so reception was manic with pushing and shoving and people vying for attention. Steve was glad when the lift dinged so they could be away from the hubbub, the doors sliding open like a welcoming embrace.

Seeming to sense his change in mood, Eddie snuck his hand into the small of his back to guide him into the lift, immediately calming Steve; Robin noticed, falling silent halfway through her sentence to poke Steve hard in the ribs, smirking and mouthing, "adorable" at him.

Steve let out a breathy laugh and blushed deeply, melting further when the doors slid closed and Eddie snaked his arms around Steve's waist, propping his chin on Steve's shoulder. It warmed his heart to have him so close, to think that maybe he was equally anxious to be apart. Eddie snapping out of his contemplation by laughing heartily when Robin looked at the two of them with feigned disgust, but it didn't take long for her to turn into an adorably blushing mess as soon as Chrissy did the same thing to her.

With two floors separating them, the foursome found it incredibly difficult to part from one another, Chrissy wouldn’t let go of Robin’s hand and Steve was leaning against the doors forcing them to stay open for as long as possible while they checked and double-checked and triple-checked the arrangements for meeting up later in the evening. It was only when an elderly couple wanted to use the elevator that Steve reluctantly let it go, he and Robin staring forlornly at the closed doors for several moments before sighing heavily and turning to head to their room.

Robin headed straight to the bathroom for a shower, muttering under her breath about everything being wet. What could he say? They’d had fun! He knew she didn't really care about the state of the bathroom from the amount of times she'd showered with the door open in her apartment so they could continue their conversation, she was just filling the space to ease him.

Steve flopped down on his unmade bed, sucking in a relaxing breath, thinking about how brilliantly fucked up his life had become, and half listening to Robin's grumbling, letting it soothe him. Then when he felt brave enough, he put the phone on speaker and let the messages play.

Beep. "My Little Bobbin, you forgot to call! Give us a ring before your mother has an aneurysm! We love you!" Beep.

Steve could hear Robin creasing up in the bathroom, he felt guilty that he'd forgotten to remind her but her parents knew her too well, they’d only start to really worry if they didn't hear anything after a couple of days but they’d know from the fact that they could leave a message that they'd checked in and now she'd been reminded Robin would call them back when she was done in the shower.

Beep. "Steve, honey, Dustin’s driving me insane, will you please remember to bring him that book he wanted? I can't remember the name. Earthshaker! call him, will you? he misses you. Okay, love you, bye." Beep.

Beep. "Steven. Darrrling. Having fun in Vegas? Dad's got you a lawyer all set up, so don't worry! Call us back so we can start proceedings." Beep.

Beep. "Steve, it's Hop. *sigh* Is that Steve? No, he's not there. Call me, we love you." Beep.

Beep. "Steve, honey, we saw your announcement. I'm glad you're having fun but maybe give Hop a call? El says he's pacing! Don't forget my book! Dustin! Have fun with your husband! Send our love to Bobby, bye!" Beep.

If there were more messages Steve didn't hear them, between Robin chattering over the sound of the shower and listening to the messages from his family, Steve nodded off with a contented smile plastered to his face.

Part 3

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turqrambles · 6 months

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Currently thinking about how the writer for the Prima's Official Strategy Guide for Rayman 2: The Great Escape did not know Jano's name and so just kept calling him "the scary man" or "the old man".

Doesn't even call him The Guardian, a title that gets dropped in conversation. No. He is the scary man.

#Rayman #rayman 2 #rayman 2 the great escape #Jano #strategy guide writing is honestly a lost art #you got a lot of non-canon mistakes in strategy guides #now we got too much proof-reading and synergy from the companies for stuff like this to happen ever again #and yes I know Jano's name wasnt that well-known until the GBA era #I just like the scary man

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genericpuff · 1 year

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it's legit been a hot minute since i've read an LO episode from start to finish so I decided to read the new free episode

wow i'm really not missing a dang thing am i, jfc

I've talked about it before how the dialogue in these comics really feels... non-human, but now I'm at a point where I wouldn't even be surprised if I find out the comic was being written by one of those script bots or some AI Chat GPT tool. It's just so stupidly clunky with very little context or build-up to what's being said, the characters feel like they're just talking at each other rather than with each other, if you know what I mean. It's giving Shenmue 3.

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But let's have some extra fun with this and go through it panel by panel.

I'm not gonna talk about the Apollo scene, not yet at least. But I DO want to talk about the dialogue exchange between Persephone and the demigods she's chosen to be judges.

First off, we get this cut to Persephone saying "Thank you so much for coming today." But the stuff that follows really feels like these guys have no idea where they are or why. Like, the first thing the guy on the left has to say is "you're a woman", why is he making this observation now if they intentionally made the decision to join her? If he's supposedly sexist on that line alone (which is what a lot of people in the discussion circles assume) why would he even join her on the boat in the first place if he wasn't willing to listen to a woman?

Oh, okay, so they HAVE had this conversation already, great exposition, Rachel! But again, it still makes no sense why he's making this observation out of nowhere if he already knows he's going to be working with her and chose to come along with her on the boat ride. Why is he repeating what he's already said? Why not just have this conversation happen organically instead of doing the whole sitcom "cut to the middle of what's happening and explain it matter-of-factly for the audience to catch up so we don't have to actually show the entire conversation???" bit?

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It's such a cliche overused tactic to try and skip informing NPC's of what the audience already knows but that only works if we, the audience, know what's going on. Such a tactic is meant to benefit the AUDIENCE, not the characters. It's a pointless waste of time for everyone involved if they're doing it the other way around where the NPC's know but the audience doesn't and the characters have to re-explain everything they already know for the audience. It's clunky exposition.

And then of course, we get Persephone acting all high and mighty with people who, again, don't even seem to know what the fuck is going on, they don't even seem to be functioning at full brain capacity with how repetitive and pointless their dialogue is (especially the "I'm a son of Zeus" guy but we'll get to him later). If Persephone's thankful for them joining her, why is she being such a bitch? This isn't a power move, she's not being a "boss babe", she's being that bitchy manager that complains about high turnover rates completely oblivious or uncaring to the fact that she's the reason people quit the job in the first place.

"It's listening to the Queen of the Underworld time", bitch you have done NOTHING to earn that title or demand for respect. NO ONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE. Anyone who DOES know her only knows her as a consort of Hades from that one tabloid pic from ten years ago. So... yeah, literally no one knows her. Even if they saw her in that weird broadcast during the Kronos fight (which, why would they, everyone was asleep as we were told and that news chopper was from OLYMPUS), she has done nothing to organically earn the respect and admiration of the people. As far as anyone's concerned, she's just this weird pink thing rolling into town and the only reason she has power at all is because the King has a flower nymph fetish and wanted a replacement for the girl that "got away" and married his brother.

IDK if this was an attempt at a joke but I feel bad for this guy because he clearly has no idea where he is, why he's here, or why he's going to work for the Underworld when he's a son of Zeus and would maybe prefer a job in Olympus somewhere. Look at him, those aren't the eyes of a man who knows what's going on.

"RAWR, I'm edgy and in control, shut your whore mouth while I'm speaking, peasant!"

She doesn't even look intimidating here, she looks severely constipated.

This is also legit just a copy paste of the Hera/Apollo/Echo scene from S2 which just further drives home how Persephone is an emotional replacement for Hera and a physical replacement for Rhea (while also satisfying that aforementioned flower nymph fetish).

Again, Persephone has done nothing to earn the admiration or respect of her people (unlike, y'know, Hera) and it's bullshit that she pretended to be all thankful at the beginning of this only to then treat them like shit as soon as she was able. Like, again, she seems to have just kidnapped these guys and they undoubtedly have questions and instead she's steamrolling all over them for zero reason beyond stroking her ego. If she's so bothered by the first guy being a sexist, why is she hiring him in the first place???

girl he's literally trying to escape from your bullshit, why are you treating him like a toddler or a hamster who can't control himself

it's painfully clear now these guys absolutely did not sign up for ANY of this and even if they DID sign up to be judges for Hades, they clearly were NOT aware it would include being berated and snipped at by his moody toddler of a wife, she's the ONLY one here who has zero self control or qualifications. push her in the river, please. put her in the hamster cage.

so yeah, it's not "thank you for coming with me today", it's "thank you for shutting up and being good little hostages so mommy can play pretend ruler, if you even THINK of ignoring me i'll have my daddy Mads Mikkelson- I mean, Hades chop your balls off, teehee!" seriously can SOMEONE please push her in the river, she's got like 50 pounds of hair, she has zero chance /hj

"i found a way for my husband to do even less work than he already does, like a good little billionaire!"

ms. brian griffin, no one knows what elysium is

we, the audience, haven't even seen elysium

no one knows what you're talking about and no one has anything to thank you for because so far you've spent the majority of your time in the underworld since the time skip dicking around and acting like a Karen

literally sit down and eat your oatmeal

we don't even know what 'nu-tartarus' is, who wants to bet rachel watched sci-fi the week she made this with the 'nu' spelling, jfc

what did she do to warrant the 'nu'

in fact, is tartarus even accessible right now??? what happened to Kronos locking himself up in there and refusing to let anyone in??? Did they seriously dig a hole in the ground and call it "Nu-Tartarus"? Fuck off.

Hermes, pal, you're seeing this shit, right? How can you sit there and watch her act like this??? This ain't the girl you used to make out with in the mountains.

"My husband serves in the military, you know! You'll regret not giving me that 2% discount!"

for those of you in the audience who don't know this, this is what we call panel filler. i.e. pointless repetitive panels that RS uses to fill her panel quota each week. LO always has at least 2-3 of these per episode. Go ahead, fact check it yourself, I'll wait.

Diva Plavalaguna wore it better, honey.

(also why do her ARMS look the same as her hair, they look like sausage casings 😭)

Such a weird cut though, from her making that "lol can you believe the things I put up with ????" face to her just WALKING AWAY FROM THE MEN WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY'RE EVEN HERE.

what- um, why are we cutting to this? I get that it's RS still trying to exposit instead of write organically but Hermes literally didn't ask and he should probably already be aware of what's going on if he's ON THE BOAT WITH HER. Also why are you explaining to him what a demi-god is? Again, it's Rachel trying to do the "and that's my plan" shtick not understanding that only works for OTHER CHARACTERS who aren't "in on it", NOT THE AUDIENCE. When you try to have your characters explain things JUST for the sake of the audience, it makes them all look stupid and it wastes the audience's time.

Like, never mind the fact that Hermes himself is technically a demi-god in LO as his mother is a non-god.

This would have worked better if she was explaining who these men were specifically, like the fact that they were Kings when they were alive, or why she chose them, but no, she just starts it and leaves it at "well they're related to Zeus, so they're demi-gods" with zero lead-up or context as to why she's explaining this to Hermes of all people in the first place.

WAIT OKAY. SO I WAS RIGHT, THEY LITERALLY AREN'T FUNCTIONING AT FULL AUTONOMY. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE REPEATING THINGS OR NOT SAYING THINGS THAT ARE RELEVANT OR ASKING QUESTIONS.

PERSEPHONE LITERALLY TOOK THESE SHADES WHO HAVE NO ABILITY TO CONSENT OR UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON

AND IS FORCING THEM TO WORK FOR HER HUSBAND, THE SLAVE DRIVER.

PERSEPHONE HAS BECOME A SLAVE DRIVER.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING WITH ME TODAY" ????

"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING GOOD LITTLE SLAVES. YOU WORK FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND NOW. WE'LL GIVE YOU BACK ENOUGH OF YOUR AUTONOMY TO MAKE YOU GOOD FOR WORKING BUT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE FREE WILL."

THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF HADESTOWN BUT IT WANTS US TO CHEER FOR HADES' POINT OF VIEW IN THE END.

Also, "Hades is going to restore some of their humanity"??? Guys, do you realize the implications of this?

If this is something he's always been able to do, that means he's always had the ability to grant the shades working for him autonomy and will, but chose not to.

Give them enough sentience and autonomy to work, but not enough to question why they're working for the system in the first place.

Great job Persephone, this is soooo much better than what Hades was doing before. You've made life so much better for the dead.

Fucking hell. I started this essay with the intent of talking about the weird clunky dialogue exchanges and as I sat on it and wrote on it longer and longer it just got so much WORSE and turned into discussing Persephone's lack of morals and how she's become the very thing she always claimed she stood against.

I say "great job Persephone" but we also have to give credit where credit is due - great job Rachel, this is soooo much better than just ending the series in the first two seasons or actually resolving the plot threads you started in Season 1. You've made your comic so much better to please the stans and spite the haters.

Christ. I'm not even done talking about everything I wanted to talk about regarding this episode but I figured I should cut it off here to at least keep it all on theme. I do wanna talk about that Apollo scene and the Hermes/Persephone conversation but I'll probably do that in separate posts.

Despite how fired up I got, I am glad about one thing - I really am not missing anything. I have lost nothing from unsubscribing from LO and uninstalling the WT app. And frankly, neither will you if you've been contemplating on promoting yourself to a non-reader. There is zero FOMO here. I get just as much if not more entertainment from just following along with the hilarious conversations in the Discord and subreddit each week, because at LEAST those are fun and don't make me feel dead inside like LO does. LO isn't entertaining, it's hardly even so-bad-that-it's-entertaining at this point, maybe it still is for you, but I'm assuring you right now for those of you "hanging on", it's not going to magically "get better", even the episodes that some people CLAIM are better really aren't because of how low the bar is nowadays. I am giving you full permission to free yourself of these shackles if you've been looking for a way out. Take this as your metaphorical key.

The LO we all fell in love with is long, long gone.

#and yes i do hope rachel and webtoons reads this #because a lot of people do have the WT app at this point just for LO so people dropping off LO means people dropping off the app #this comic absolutely is affecting your bottom line WT #why is this comic still being carried on WT's shoulders #even when it's not being outright controversial or offensive it's still just a poorly made comic #the dialogue is janky and there's NOTHING GOING ON #it's just further proof that so many romance webtoons aren't built to last 3 seasons #they always lose their steam by then #just put it out of its misery for the love of god #lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #Youtube

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a-dragons-journal · 4 months

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have you heard of KissingMidnight? back in the mythical community i used to hear bout her from time to time, a p-shifter who became a real mermaid. Now, I wonder... what do you think the true story was?

I hadn't heard of her by that name, but I'd seen the photos she posted as supposed "proof" of her shifted form. (Somebody posted a log of them here, for anyone who hasn't seen.)

The ironic thing is, blatantly faked "proof" like this (photos are grainy at best, especially the ones of "scales" where you can't really even see the supposed bumps she's talking about, and the tail is... obviously a fake? there's no life to that thing at all), as opposed to "that's a normal human thing that you are presenting as p-shifting" type proof, indicates to me that she was knowingly lying. If it was a photo of someone who genuinely believed what they were saying (which, at this degree of shifting, would have to be a hallucination, not just reading too much into normal human body things), we wouldn't be able to see the shift, because it wouldn't be physical.

There's a lot of reasons she might have lied about it, and I really can't speculate on it. She might have originally believed it and then not known how to back out when she realized it wasn't real and just doubled down instead. She might have been just a plain old troll, though it looks like she put an awful lot of effort into it for a troll. It doesn't look like she ever started up any groups, but it's possible she was partly looking to get power over people via claiming "secret knowledge" on an individual basis, since she did tell people to contact her directly according to that log. She might have just liked the attention. Who knows. I'd be curious to know her reasons, if anyone ever tracked her down, but I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it.

#rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous #posts the grainiest color photo ive ever seen and calls it proof of having scales #ma'am those are legs with a few pixels gone weird #that could be anything up to and including bad photo editing #i'd bet that if you look around long enough you'll be able to find that exact tail she used somewhere #probably not for sale anymore but i am certain other people bought it and didn't try to sell it as p-shifting #i just don't care enough to put in the energy #reading through this she was a pretty clever liar and a pretty decent fake awful photos aside #does not surprise me that a lot of people fell for it #anyway #is that enough spacer tags?#i hope that's enough spacer tags.#p shifting

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seongminiz · 8 months

Text

call me what you like - park serim

minors dni ; soft dom!serim x sub fem!reader ; 2432 words

warnings : jealousy/possesiveness , reader is insecure , praise , pet names (princess , good girl , baby) , fingering , unprotected sex , breeding , marking , does serim having a driving license count as mischaracterization ? , he also has a massive cock amen . an attempt at proper grammar but only partially proof read so if u find typos or me being an idiot n writing small comments in between no u didnt

first long-ish work i post on here feeling kinda nervous . no fr this is nerve wrecking idk im not good at writing descriptive smut ffs :D but i loved writing it ngl also something kinda upsetting happened today so it ended up a little more angsty than i intended it to be bc what r my fics if not insane projecting lol. the title is a lovejoy song but it has nothing to do with the lyrics i just needed a cool title n lovejoy r kinda the only non kpop music i regularly listen to

you and serim have been in a relationship for a few months now, and while of course you have some small arguments here and there, there have never been any big issues between you two. you love him, he loves you, and neither of you would ever doubt that. that is, until you end up being serim's plus one at some kind of event: you've been following him around all evening bc u have almost no idea of whats going on.

now, you're not usually the jealous type, you're okay with serim speaking to women other than you ffs that's his job, but the way some of them at this event are clearly flirting with him sets your jealousy issues off bad. watching your insanely handsome boyfriend be - or at least act - completely clueless about how they're clearly putting the moves on him, especially with how good he looks dressed like that, white shirt underneath his suit jacket straining against his toned body, leaving little to the imagination.. it pisses you off, to be completely honest.

you can't stand it, you can't stand how so many women, most of them you find clearly prettier than you, are able to get his attention like that, completely ignoring you even if you're basically clinging to his arm.you feel inadequate, just a mere presence they barely acknowledge with a small smile before going back to talk to serim. your serim.

what you fail to notice, though, is that serim is well aware of the shift in your mood. he doesn't know exactly what it's about, but he was pretty quick to sense how upset you had become just in a few minutes, trying to talk to as many people and as quickly as possible so you two could get out of there and he could give you his undivided attention.

of course, you don't know, too focused on dwelling on the jealousy building up inside you. you barely notice when serim gently shakes you, trying to catch your attention 'are you okay princess?' you sigh 'yeah.' your short reply isn't of any reassurance to serim, his thumb lightly rubbing your hip 'wanna go home?' you shrug, trying to hide your (very obvious) upset expression 'if we can, yes. but if you still have to... do whatever you were doing, we don't have to-'

'okay, got it. i'll talk to this one last person, and then we can go home, alright?' you nod, his arm leaves its place around your waist and you once again grab onto it, following his steps. your heart drops when you realize that, unfortunately, said person he has to talk to is a woman. which wouldn't even be that bad on its own, you can stand it for a few minutes (you really can't, but maybe you can convince yourself..), but she also happens to be the most attractive, hottest woman you've seen through the entire evening. you tune out the entire conversation, trying not to stare at her because everytime you take in another detail you feel like crying.

when serim finally cuts the conversation off, you politely - albeit coldly - bid your goodbyes to the woman, walking with serim out of the room and towards the parking lot. when you get to the car, you don't even wait for serim to open the door for you - he's dead set on giving you the full princess treatment - climbing in the passenger seat and slamming the door shut.

that's when serim realizes, this isn't just you feeling a bit under the weather, you're genuinely upset - and you weren't at the start of the evening, so he knows something that happened between then and now is the cause of your behavior. the fact you're giving him the silent treatment does irk him a little, but he knows that's how you act when something really bad happens, and he could never get mad at you for it.

despite his concern, serim still calmly gets into the car, turns it on and starts driving out of the parking lot and into the bright, artificially lit streets. glancing at you from time to time, he finds you looking out the car window, arms crossed over your chest, deep in thought. when you reach a particularly empty and straight part of the road, serim takes the chance to place his hand on your thigh, something you're both used to during your late night drives. what he doesn't expect, though, is for you to move your leg, wiggling out of his grasp (not that hard, since he wasn't putting that much strength in it in the first place).

serim raises an eyebrow, eyes still fixed on the road as his hand helplessly goes back to the wheel. his concentration on driving is what makes him miss the way you look back at him, concerned on whether you've gone too far or not. stopping at a red light, serim's eyes immediately find yours, desperate to get to the bottom of this 'what's wrong princess?' you shake your head, absent-mindedly reaching for his hand in search of any possible physical comfort. 'nothing, you're going to think it's stupid anyways,' you mumble. serim frowns, reaching to move a strand of hair behind your ear 'i would never. whatever it is, it's upsetting you, and I don't like seeing my baby like this.' his voice comes off more stern than he intended to, but his soft touch is there to remind you that he's not actually upset at you. he's just your concerned boyfriend.

serim moves his hand from the side of your head to your chin, tilting it so you have no choice but look at him 'so? what is it?' you pout. 'i'm jealous.' the look that crosses serim's face is a puzzled one 'what?' you shrug, averting his eyes 'you spent the entire night talking to other women, all better looking than me. i'm jealous,' you admit. serim is about to answer you, when the light turns green, the cold hue illuminating both of you. serim sighs, speeding up. 'we'll talk about it when we get home, yeah?' you nod, scared that you might have upset him. even if his voice didn't let that out, you can't help but wonder if he's disappointed in you.

serim parks in front of your apartment complex, a few seconds of you two sitting in the car in silence pass, until serim sighs, taking the keys and stepping out of the vehicle, making his way around it to open the door on your side too. god forbid he let you do it on your own again. you walk out, grabbing the hand he extended to you. everything is so silent, you again question if he's genuinely mad at you for how you acted. you knew you were being immature, giving him the silent treatment and all, you're just getting a taste of your own medicine, but you couldn't help it.

you were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't even realize you got to the elevator until the faint 'ding!' of it startles you. you step inside, never letting serim's hand go. 'you know i would never cheat on you,' serim breaks the silence, and your eyes widen in shock to the realization 'that's not what I was implying! i know you wouldn't! i just... those women were all so much prettier than me, and more mature and sophisticated, and hotter and... i'm just me. I felt so out of place, like i wasn't at your level. and it's totally not your fault! but i couldn't help but feel jealous, like I wouldn't even blame you if one day you decided i wasn't enough for you and left me for one of them. and i know you wouldn't but... it still hurts to think about it.' you start rambling, missing how serim tries to stop you a few times by calling your name.

when you finally look up at him, he has the softest smile plastered on his face and, before you can say anything else, he plants a kiss on your lips, his hands immediately finding their way to your hips. 'i would never chose anyone other than you. you're as perfect as you could be, i swear,' you can feel his breath against your lips as he talks, your heart beating furiously against your chest 'i don't care about any of them. you're all i need and you're more than enough, you're too perfect for me' he continues, only stopping to kiss you again. the elevator comes to a halt, and thats your cue to separate, but you know this isn't the end of it. serim's hand finds yours, as he lowers himself to speak into your ear 'i'll show you just how perfect i think you are, yeah?' he whispers, a shiver running through your body at the implication 'will you let me?' you nod furiously, your reaction making serim chuckle 'good girl' he says, kissing right below your ear before guiding you out the elevator.

the short way to your apartment is agonizingly slow, constantly interrupted by stealing kisses from each other and, when you finally manage to step inside, serim has you immediately pinned against the door, locking it behind you as he roughly kisses you. his hands are everywhere on you, your waist, your thighs as your dress slowly rides up to leave you more and more exposed with each movement.

'you don't even know how insane you've been driving me with this dress,' he groans, lifting you up with no effort and, as you wrap your legs around him, you feel his bulge pressing against you, a small moan leaving your mouth. 'serim... need you,' you whimper against his lips, a thin string of drool dripping from your lips onto his. serim smiles, capturing them in yet another kiss as he starts to carry you towards your shared bedroom.

he places you on the bed, your dress lifted all the way to your hips revealing your completely drenched panties. serim can barely contain himself, seeing you all spread out like that, for his eyes only, but he wants to make this all about you and your pleasure.

he starts to slowly undress himself, unbuttoning his shirt before slipping your dress off. your hands brush against his sides, tracing his defined body and tentatively going lower to rid him to his pants - no matter how many times you've seen him like this, it always leaves u in awe how a man this perfect could ever exist, and be your man at that. serim gently takes your hands in his, pins them over your head and places a soft kiss on your lips 'let me do all the work for once,' he says, hooking his fingers in your panties and sliding them off your legs.

before you know it, serim is three fingers deep inside you, opening you up for him bc no matter how many times you've taken him, you'll never get used to just how big his cock is. you've been incessantly whining for god knows how long, about how much you need his cock, you need him, and every time without fail serim replies that 'you already have me, princess, more than anyone in the world, you have all of me.' and proves his point by leaving yet another mark on your skin.

your thighs, your neck, your chest, every unmarked portion of your skin is soon bruised to the point anyone would assume he was the jealous one in the relationship. and maybe he is, just a little bit, recalling how revealing your dress - now discarded somewhere on the floor - was on you, so perfect on his princess but a little too perfect for any other men to look your way.

when serim removes his fingers from you, you're a mess, hair sticking to your forehead, breath heavy, tears running down your cheeks and ruining the makeup you worked so hard on for the event. but that's how serim likes you the most, when you're fucked out before he even gets to be inside of you, his pretty little mess, just for him.

and he tells you exactly that, as his cock finally sinks into you, groaning and rambling about how much he loves this sight, how he's so lucky to have you and how you're his and his only. the sweet praises partially distract you from the stretch, until he bottoms out and you both sigh in unison.

it's not long before serim starts thrusting into you, his pace picking up immediately but never getting quite as fast or rough as it usually would be. he wants to take it slow, savor the moment, his hand holding your hip while the other cradles the side of your face so your eyes don't stray away from him. it's hard to do so, when each thrust hits the perfect spot in you, as you fight the urge to let your eyes close.

'mine,' you moan against his lips, feeling him twitch inside of you 'all yours, princess. and you're mine too, can't stand it when everyone's eyes are on you, you're too pretty for this world.' despite the downright nasty predicament you're in, you can't help the way your heart fills with love at serim's words. you pull him in another kiss, your legs wrapping behind his back to push him deeper inside of you.

'then make me yours in any way possible,' you whisper. serim chuckles, slowing down his thrusts. it's not the first time he cums inside you, but before it was just a result of having unprotected sex. now it's a deliberate choice, to make you his in the most intimate way possible. 'yeah, princess? should i fill you up, mark you from the inside so everyone knows you're mine? would you like that?' you nod, squeezing around him as a particularly hard thrust hits a specific spot inside of you that has you letting out an high pitched moan.

serim's hand leaves your face, his rough fingers rubbing your clit and, before he can even tell you to, you're cumming, shaking as serim helps you ride out your orgasm and reaches his own, spilling inside of you as incoherent praises leave his mouth, telling you how good you've been for him and how much he loves you.

once you've both calmed down, serim presses a kiss to your forehead, holding you tight in his arms so that you can know you're really, uniquely his, and he's not going anywhere.

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#first properly written work i post is abt serim n i feel that says a lot abt me idk #genuinely loved writing this i started giggling kicking my feet while proof reading #cravity hard hours #cravity smut #serim hard hours #serim smut #cravity x reader #serim x reader

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aalghul · 1 month

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Nice post about Roy I like how kind your response was. But yeah as a Roy fan I find the idea that he would hate anyone but the man who killed his daughter to be silly. Cause like thing is Roy has a line till he doesn’t. Like you said Roy draws a line for himself with Cheshire but he never ever 100 percent commits. Even after the bombing and her holding a gun to Lian and threatening to shoot her while trying to escape prison, in his time with the League he still is hinted to love her and still lets Lian visit her. Flash forward to now they are still on again off again lovers/enemies. The old Titans ‘Roy breaks up with Cheshire’ story was written like it was the full end of their relationship but DC loves that concept and in comics they will always come back.

With Mia or people hurting his family Roy would not care at the end of the day unless that family member died sorry. Roy forgave a woman who babysat Lian and helped terrorists kidnap her and then broke his leg in an attempt to kill Cheshire. No he didn’t just forgive her he offered to let her keep babysitting Lian saying he didn’t think he had the right to judge anyone.

People other than Roy say he belongs in the light but Roy kind of hates that about himself and actively denies and resists it because he thinks the dirty work is the real important work. He worked in fantasy superhero CIA for years and even killed for them, left and made the Outsiders, initially didn’t want to leave and basically stayed till the last second till his mental health gave in, joined the League and didn’t actually have a great time with the group or ever really believe he belonged, had a horrible ending with that group and became a straight up villain after the ROA fiasco and worked on a team of villains all of whom except Slade he expressed some sort of sympathy for.

Roy just doesn’t give up on people and kind of really wants to do antihero work and tries to again and again. The age/maturity thing kind of gets it but that only matters where you connect Roy and Jason, they are peers and work together in some fashion off screen for a year in Outsiders, put a ROA recovering villain Roy with really any post UTRH Jason save Morrison Jason and you could write an intergenerational friendship arc easy.

People forget but before 52 first started a lot of people wanted a Jason Roy book. It was floated around as an idea for ages and rumor was even Winick made a pitch but can’t confirm. When 52 was first announced a lot of people thought not only that RHATO made sense and only Kory didn’t belong but thought the comic had real potential. And really it might have since Roy and Cheshire at one point would not have made sense for either character and notably everything about their relationship happened off screen. We give things a pass because of how well the stories are written. I think most issues with comics are people moralizing about the characters and saying they would never do this or that when 9 times out of 10 the writer just shat over the execution of a concept and the writing as is was shit.

-- i’m just going to include my thoughts down here --

I agree with everything you said about Roy just not being the person who holds a lot of hatred for people. He comes off as strict and even angry sometimes, but at heart, he’s one of the most understanding characters.

I always took Roy’s failed attempts at being an anti-hero as proof that it’s not what he’s meant to do. He keeps trying because he sees his sympathy and desire to do more as a sign that he needs to get his hands dirtier, but each time leaves him with the realization that he can’t be doing that type of work. He was reluctant to leave the Outsiders because he didn’t want to abandon them, that’s why he does leave as soon as Ollie provides funding for them (which he also does specifically because he knows Roy wouldn’t leave, no matter how much he wanted to, otherwise). The Outsiders did end in Roy himself realizing he couldn’t stay there.

I think Roy has always worked best in the various Titans teams he’s been part of. Unfortunately, Teen Titans (2003) set a new status quo with enough of the original Titans leaving and the team working under the leadership of younger members even when more experienced Titans were present. So we could never really go back to the titans as they were in any of the iterations prior to that.

I don’t think Jason and Roy worked together for a whole year; it was just Jason reaching out to Dick, and then subsequently teaming up with him and Roy to give them information of Black Lightning. Which definitely worked to let Roy know the type of person that Jason is (i.e. not a villain), but it was also very much through Dick, so it would again be a reminder of the time that Jason, as a child, teamed up with Roy and the others. Roy’s affinity to taking a guiding role when he works with team members significantly younger than him is just such an important part of who he is that I can’t get past it. I don’t mean to say that Roy’s going to treat Jason like a child, but that there’s going to be a significant gap between their friendship as compared to the friendship that post-flashpoint gave them. Roy is just at a completely different stage from Jason, who is essentially just beginning to catch up on life as a teenager. That difference can’t be ignored easily.

I didn’t read comics back then (and was also a very little kid lol) so I didn’t know about that being something people wanted back then! It must be disappointing to see how it’s turned out.

At the end of the day, I personally think that Roy and Jason could work together very well short-term, and then it would have to end in them walking their separate ways because Roy can never stay in the dark too long, whether he admits it or not. I get what you’re saying about good execution making all the difference, though! I just want to stay as consistent to Roy’s character as possible, so Jason and Roy as best friends/a long-term anti-hero duo never quite works out.

#submited by #anonroyfan #and there is also the fact that a lot of roy's writing post lian's death was just. bad. lazy at many parts #i hope this is coherent bc there are a lot of words and i proof read none of them

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leclerced · 2 months

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rehearsal crush + jelly = broken up

angst please ?

landoscar whose gf breaks up with them because she can’t handle the distance and they kinda are just like sick about it but oscar’s “if it’s meant to be it’ll be” attitude takes over lando too so they just don’t do anything about it and let her leave and it makes her even more upset that they didn’t TRY and fight for her

but happy ending

-🪼🪼🪼

jelly im so sorry ): if u wanna talk about it or rant, feel free to dm me 🫶🏻 im here for u if u need anything. i did Not Know how to end this im so sorry sjdkdmd im at work rn i hope this helps in some way ):

the only time it feels like she’s in a relationship is when they come to town between races. when they leave, she has to go back to real life and missing them. she hides it well, puts a smile on her face while she kisses them goodbye, then breaks down once they've walked out the door. there’s a weight on her chest that is only lifted when they’re around. they’ve never told her they feel the same, she thinks it’s because they still have each other so it’s not as bad. it makes her feel like she can’t tell them how badly she misses them, how crushing it is to see them go and know it’ll be a month until she sees them again.

she’s always been a physical person, she craves their touch more than anything. she misses the forehead kisses, having someone to hold hands with, a kiss and goodbye, i love you's when she's leaving for work. she wants to walk into a room and be able to crawl into her boyfriend's lap. to lay on oscar while she's binging her favorite shows. go on hikes with lando. it’s worse missing both of them. she misses waking up because oscar’s laying on top of her and lando’s asleep but still trying to pull her closer to him while oscar holds her in place underneath him, only to grumble and roll over so he’s on top of her too. she’d complain about the weight and the heat, but its so rare that she savors it. forces herself to stay awake as long as possible to relish in the feeling of them surrounding her. most of the time, she wakes up because she's cold and alone.

she feels pathetic when she gets jealous watching streams, she's envious of the press and drivers who see them every day. random people get to talk to her boyfriends more than she does. she's jealous of them every time they send her photos and videos together, whether it’s an innocent selfie or something meant to be watched alone and with headphones. she hates that it feels like she’s a girlfriend for one weekend a month and the rest of it, they’re boyfriends and she's someone they send a couple of texts to.

she starts thinking about breaking up when one of her friends gives her a hug and she breaks down because her shampoo smells like oscar’s and she wishes she could hug him. it's almost like hugging oscar, except she can't tuck her face into his neck and lean into him, his hands aren't pulling her closer, rubbing her back or petting her hair. there's no soft sigh as he rests his cheek on her head and no kiss on the top of her head when she pulls away. it feels like she's already been broken up with. like all the things she's missing, she's never going to experience again.

she tries to think about how it could work out. how they could see each other more. maybe they could all live together, and then there’d be less travel. if when they went home between races, she was home. she thinks about it, if she could pick up here life and move it. could she find another job in her field? what about her friends and family, here at home? would monaco feel like home when her boyfriends still aren't there most of the year? she'd lose what support system she has, have to build a new one. she would have to give up everything just to see them a few more times a year. she hasn't even been dating them for that long, not long enough to make plans for the future. they've been doing things a month at a time, planning dates where they can. she fell hard and fast, too fast now that she thinks about it. she shouldn't be contemplating flipping her life upside down just because of a boyfriend or two.

she doesn’t want to keep feeling like she’s drowning without them. she thinks she’ll get over them faster than she’ll be okay with missing them all the time. that in a few months, she could be over them and seeing someone new. someone who lives in her city, so she can see them regularly. have someone to text when she's lonely and have them come over and hold her. sure, it’s fun when they’re on break, and can spend all of their free time with her. when she can take off work to go on vacation with them. but it’s not so fun when she’s spending every night wishing they were back in bed with her, counting down the days until they would be. it takes her a week to draft the text in her notes. editing it every day, sending it to her closest friends to check.

i'm really sorry, but i can't do this anymore. the distance is too much, it doesn't feel like i'm in a relationship when you're always across the world on a different time zone. i can count the words we've spoken this week, and it's not even like, real talking. we had a few texts. good morning, good night, i love you. i need more than that. i shouldn't be doing this over text, i know, and i'm sorry for that, but there's no other way to do it. it's easier this way.

she tried adding more, explaining why, the hurt she feels. how she's thrown up from missing them, cried herself to sleep, she couldn't put it into words without feeling like she was trying to hurt them. she reads it back to herself and imagines oscar or lando sending her the same text and nearly throws up. deletes all the rough bits so they won't imagine her keeling over the toilet every morning, crying to her friends, crying alone in bed clutching a hoodie lando left behind. it feels unemotional after that. she can't even type out the words, to say i'm breaking up with you. to say goodbye.

lando sees the text first. he always reaches for his phone first thing in the morning, their groupchat is almost always still open when he unlocks it. he always sends a sweet message for their girl to wake up to or see the next time she checks her phone, if she's up already. this time, there's a text waiting. his hands start shaking instantly, he forgets how to breathe, everything hurts in a way he didn't know it could.

she sent it in the groupchat, an hour after their goodnight, i love you's. he shakes oscar awake after reading it two or three times, not believing the words are real until he's closed the app and reopened it only to see it's still there. he doesn't know what to do, what to think, what to say. it's been hours since she sent the text. it feels too late to respond, like it's done. oscar's confused and disoriented, he's never woken up like this before. lando's shaking him and crying and blubbering at him when he starts regaining consciousness. he thinks someone died. he can't understand lando's gasping, "she- fuck, oscar- i don't know what to do- oscar- what do we do?" he's acting like oscar should already know what he's talking about.

he sits up and grabs lando's cheeks in his hands, "breathe. calm down. what are you going on about?" a phone is pressed into his chest, a corner of it hits his sternum and he winces as he drops a hand to take it. it's lando's, unlocked with their group chat open. he reads the text with a blank face before collapsing back on the bed. bad dream. this is a nightmare. this isn't real. he pinches himself again and again. squeezes his eyes shut and reopens them, holds the phone in front of his face and the text is still there. he can't bring himself to check his own phone and read it there. it remains unread, unready to face the realization.

lando chokes out a sob next to him and collapses on top of him, "'s too late, osc. it's too late. we can't do anything- she's so far away. osc, i-i can't- i don't know what to do- please oscar." he clenches his jaw, tells himself he can't break down, lando needs him to be strong. he drops the phone, rather, throws it to a far corner of the bed, and wraps both arms around lando. "it'll be okay, i promise. if it's meant to be, it'll be." lando whines at his words, says something into his chest that oscar can't make out. he just squeezes lando tighter and pushes down the urge to scream, to break something. to book a flight and fly across the world and beg her not to do this.

it's already done. the text is too articulated. she planned this out. it wasn't one bad night. it was a string of bad nights, that she never told them about. they can't help her if she won't tell them something is wrong, if they don't know she needs help. he doesn't know if he believes his own words. he thinks it's meant to be, but he doesn't know how. he thinks about the stupid saying, if you love something, let it go. if it comes back to you, it's yours forever. if it doesn't, it was never meant to be. it keeps him from texting back and begging for her. she'll come back when she's ready. maybe if he doesn't respond, she'll take it back.

she expects them to fight for her. realistically, she knows she waited until they went to sleep, but still. maybe they couldn't fall asleep, they'd see it and talk her down instantly. she expects them to wake up and text back, begging her not to do this. offer to visit more, to fly her out more. to do anything to close the distance. she lets herself delude herself into thinking maybe they aren't responding because they took the first flight out to see her. the entire day, she waits for her phone to beep at her or to hear a knock on her door, but there's nothing.

she makes the mistake of checking a live broadcast the next day, media day. they look fine. no bags under their eyes, no tear splotchy cheeks. it could be makeup, but they laugh and joke with each other and other drivers. she tells herself it’s the right decision. they aren't even upset about it. they're just going about their days. part of her she wishes she could take it back. she wishes she didn't know this is how they felt, that she really was just a quick fuck between races. they couldn't even be bothered to respond and say, hey! it was fun while it lasted. she doesn't let herself watch anymore after that and deletes every app so she won't have to see the mclaren content her algorithms are so used to pumping her feed with.

in the days after, she feels lied to. like all of these months was nothing, every night they flew in to see her was just because they wanted something else to fuck. her friends tell her it's not true, that they're probably just being respectful and giving her space. one of them says if she'd gotten that text, she wouldn't have replied either. she knows she wouldn't either when she rereads it to herself. she wants to ask, why didn't any of you tell me not to send it? why were they all so supportive of me blowing up my relationship?

after a few weeks of thinking like that, she breaks and looks at the championship rankings, looks at their scores for the last races. she feels a pang in her stomach when they're not having a great season, sometimes finishing in the points but not getting into the top five in any race since. she gets curious, wonders if it's the car or the driver. makes the mistake of watching post race interviews and hearing them talk about how the car was doing great but they couldn't get the full potential out of it. lando's beating himself up too much about it, oscar's giving him sad looks constantly. maybe it is bothering them and they're just showing it differently. she bans herself from checking again. it's none of her business. they're not her boyfriends anymore.

she comes to realize she didn't mind the distance. she misses the few texts they shared, misses watching races and cheering on her boys. the short phone calls after where she congratulates them. waiting around until they made it back to their hotel even if it meant she would only get a few hours of sleep before work. she misses them coming in once a month to see her.

she feels stupid for not telling them how she felt sooner. she wishes she'd worded the text differently, that she'd told them how she felt and they listened and helped. she thinks about reaching out, to apologize, to say she wasn't thinking right, ask for another chance. she doesn't deserve one.

summer break rolls around and though she's still sad about it, she's not crying anymore. she's given up any idea of ever seeing them again and resigns herself to telling her grandkids about the time she dated two racecar drivers. she's just cleaned and rearranged her entire apartment to make herself feel something. the living room is flipped around, she bought a new tv stand and some new pictures to hang. got some funky lamps for mood lighting. she redoes her bedroom too, gets a new bedroom set at an antique sale and pays the seller's sons to move it because she doesn't have a truck. they even help carry out her old furniture and set up the new. even the dining room is redone, a friend got a new dining table and she swapped her friend's old one out for her own. it didn't fit anything else in her apartment and she'd had it since college, it was time to go.

she's almost feeling good. it's a little weird walking into her apartment and feeling like she walked into the wrong one, but in a good way. it feels like a fresh start in a way. she doesn't walk in and imagine lando and oscar on her sofa because the tv is in the place they used to sit. they've never been in her "new" bedroom, never sat on the new mattress she ordered. never showered under her new showerhead. she hid all of their gifts and the things they'd left behind in a box in her guest room closet, so the reminders of them are gone.

they're gone, until she wakes up to banging on her door in the middle of the night. she thinks someone is breaking in at first, when the banging stops suddenly. the silence is deafening, she's waiting to hear someone trying to open it, pick the lock or break a window to get in. instead, her phone buzzes on her night stand. she picks it up and feels her stomach drop.

oscar: i'm sorry it's late. i hope you haven't moved, because i've been banging on your door for five minutes.

why is he here? is lando here too? where is he? why isn't he here? what's happening? what do i do? a million questions run through her head at once and she freezes up. she thinks about pretending to be asleep. that she moved, that the knocking didn't wake her and she never saw the text. maybe she changed her number and moved. she could pretend. it would be easier, probably.

she thinks about it for too long, then realizes oscar's probably left. the text was sent six minutes ago. the thought sends her into a panic. she can't lose him again. she slips in her rush to get out of bed, curses herself for not buying a new rug to match her new bedding yet when her socks hit slippery hard wood floors and she slips, barely catching herself on the bed. she scrambles out of her bedroom, down the hall, barly skidding to a stop before she fumbles for the deadbolt and swings the door open.

he's still there. hands stuffed in his pocket, hair mussed from travel, probably. she can see his adams apple bob when he swallows and they both freeze, like they're on stage and both forgot their lines. she can smell his cologne and it makes her dizzy. it's like walking by a display in a store and knowing you smelled that smell on your third grade field trip to the local science museum. it's been so long that it feels foreign but you can place it exactly. they both stand there, staring, like they can't believe they're really seeing each other.

he opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. he lets out a sigh, "can i come in?"

she blinks, twice, before stepping aside and nodding. she watches his face as he steps inside and looks around. he takes his time taking everything in, his eyes scanning through the archway into the living room. she left her lamps on, so the room is lit by hot pink in one corner, lime green in the next, and blue in the next. it lights his face up in a pretty way, like the lights at the track do, or in a club. she's not sure what to do, so she offers a drink to give herself something to do. "cocoa?" the word feels weird in her mouth. it's only two syllables but her tongue feels thick and even that is hard. he doesn't look at her or say anything, just gives a nod. his hair flutters and she longs to run her hands through it. he does it, pushing the hair off his forehead. it makes her want to do it even more.

she side steps him and is grateful when she doesn't hear his footsteps follow her into the kitchen. would you blame her if she took as long as possible to make the drinks? she could do it faster. she's mastered the art of making hot chocolate every way possible. she has the powder mix for when she's lazy, and knows how to make it taste just as rich as the real thing. she also has expensive chocolate that will take longer to melt down than a powder will take to stir into milk. it's been her guilty pleasure since she broke things off, it feels chopping it up to give to oscar. it helped her though, so maybe it'll help now.

she wonders what he's doing, if he's still standing there or if he moved. if he sat on the couch in it's new spot, or if he's looking at the new wall hangings. if he can hear her chopping on the cutting board, setting things on the stove, getting the mugs out. she wonders if he's grateful for the time to think, too. she needs it considering she didn't know he was showing up. she didn't have time to prepare, but that's better, she would have overthought everything. she runs her fingers through her hair a few times to comb out any tangles and splashes some water on her face to clear her head a bit.

she's going to make the best hot chocolate he's ever had. she's going to put more effort into this mug of hot chocolate than any other. she believes melting the chocolate before adding it to the milk makes it better, so she sets up a double boiler on one burner and milk on another to melt the chocolate while the milk warms. once the chocolate is silky smooth and the milk is at an even 180 degrees, she mixes them. she takes her time whisking it together, occasionally swiping a finger across the whisk to taste it.

she's just biding her time. she chose what she's pretty sure is oscar's favorite mug, an orange one with a kangaroo inside. she bought it at a thrift store long before they met. when you finish your drink, there's a sculpted kangaroo sitting inside, like a little surprise. she likes serving people drinks in it and seeing their confusion, thinking something is in their drink before she says it's part of the mug. they finish their drink and coo at what's inside. oscar's reaction was her favorite; he asked where she got it and said he had to have one. she had no clue where it was from and offered it to him on the spot, and he sheepishly shook his head, "no, just use it when 'm here."

she hid it at the back of the cabinet, every morning she'd reach for it out of habit then get sad when she remembered oscar liked it. hiding it meant she didn't reach for it and get sad. tonight, she had to push all her other mugs out of the way and check it for dust so oscar could use it. at one point, she wished he'd taken it so she wouldn't have to see the reminder. now, she's glad she still has it so she has some common ground to latch onto.

she finds him in the living room, tucked into end corner of the couch, right next to the pink light. "sorry it took so long, i used the good chocolate." she mutters as she offers him the mug and sits in the middle of the couch, a safe distance away. she sets her own mug down on the table, a light blue one with a duck on the outside. she wants to crawl into his lap, say she's sorry, she's so happy to see him. that's not her place anymore, and she doesn't know why he's here. maybe he just wants their hoodies back.

he stares at the mug, wraps both his hands around it and she wishes he'd set it down and tuck his hands under her shirt to warm them like she used to. she can't read his expression when he counters, "i would have taken swiss miss." she doesn't know how to take that. is he saying she shouldn't have put in the effort, or he would be happy with anything she gives him?

she quirks a smile, "i thought you deserved the good stuff."

he hums, and lifts the mug up, "will i burn my mouth if i try to drink this now?" she blinks. he trusts her not to hurt him.

"i wouldn't. i just took it off the burner, i bet you'd see steam if the marshmallows weren't blocking it." his lips turn up in the smallest smile for just a moment and he sets it down next to hers. she keeps her eyes on the mugs as he sits back and suddenly shifts the conversation, "i'm sorry for just showing up. i was going to text but i was scared you would tell me not to."

she tries not to make a face but she winces. "you have nothing to apologize for, you haven't done anything wrong. and for what it's worth, i'm glad you showed up." she hopes it’s the right thing to say. she isn’t sure why she’s here and she doesn’t want to get her hopes up.

there's a soft touch on her arm and she almost flinches before she remember it's just oscar. his voice is soft just as soft as his touch, "you haven't either." his hand curls around her bicep and he tugs lightly. she immediately scoots closer and he pulls her into his side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “we should have reached out, should have shown up sooner. there's not-" he lets out a sigh, she feels him shift her and he squeezes her softly. “the distance, it's hard. we've been doing this a long time, we're used to not seeing our family more than one week a year. you haven't had that, never done this before. you don't know how to deal with it, but if you don't tell us you're struggling, we can't help."

he squeezes her shoulder and she leans into him, "i know. i just- it didn't feel like it would do any good. not like i could text you and you'd be here in an hour."

he shakes his head in the corner of her eye and grumbles, "no, but we would have found time to call you, found a way to come see you sooner. hell, if you could get off work we'd fly you out. fuck, that's not even the problem. why didn't you feel like you could tell us how you were feeling?"

there's a burning sensation that signals tears are coming, and her throat is tightening. she pushes the tears back and forces the words out, "i was scared, that i was the only one feeling like this. you have each other, why would you miss me? i don't have anyone."

oscar lets out a weak sound and pulls her closer, not close enough for her. she wants to be pressed against him in every way. "i'm sorry we made you feel that way. we have each other, yeah, but half the time, all we do is talk about you. missing you. i made lando buy the same shampoo so he’d smell like you. practically had to wash my drool out of his hair every morning.” as if for emphasis, he presses his cheek to her head and sniffs. “could pick you out from a blind test.”

she can't help the breathy laugh that escapes her, "really? you missed me that much? why didn't you tell me?"

oscar nods, "i didn't know you needed to hear it. i thought we were fine. i don't know if there were signs we missed or maybe, you kept it to yourself. it's not an excuse, but we're used to missing people, we can't change that, so we look forward to the next time we see you. sometimes, we're so busy, we don't have time to think about how much it hurts.”

she huffs, "i had too much time to think about how much it hurts."

oscar squeezes her to his side again, then huffs, "take a hint would you? get closer."

her heart thuds in her chest, "closer?"

he laughs a little, the air hits her cheek. "yes, closer. been trying to hold you, but you won't move."

immediately, she throws herself onto his lap, wedging a leg between his and the arm of her sofa so she can straddle him. it feels so good just to have someone close, and oscar feels like coming home. his cologne is the same, she can tell it’s been hours since he applied it, likely just before shoving it in his suitcase, but it lingers on him. he smells a bit like the airport, too, and she wonders how long it took him to get here. where he flew from, when he booked the ticket. it doesn’t really matter.

he’s filled out more through the season, his body is hard under her and she can’t tell if he’s tense or if it’s just hard muscle from lots of training. “i’m really sorry you were hurting. do you think, we could try this again? could you tell us, before it gets too much?”

she curls a hand around his bicep and sighs, "yes, god, i missed you so much. i'm really sorry, i should have said something. i- i would have taken it back, if you had said something, neither of you reached out. i didn't think you wanted me to.”

she can feel the rumbling in his chest against hers when he replies, it tingles her cheek where it’s pressed against his throat. "we didn't think you wanted us to. it felt planned out, i figured you wanted space. i thought you’d come to us when you were ready. lando tried to- i stopped him.” her heart almost shatters. she squeezes her eyes shut and forces back the tears. she can’t cry on him right now. “i was scared too, didn’t want him to find out he was blocked or something. i couldn’t- i didn’t know what to do. i didn’t want him to get hurt again.”

"space is the last thing i wanted." she whispers against his neck. at the mention of him hurting, her stomach twists into tight knots. she'd assumed they were fine. "is lando okay? why isn't he here?"

oscar stiffens under for, just for a moment, before relaxing, "yeah, he'll be okay, if we're gonna be okay. he’s in a hotel, didn't think you'd want to see him. didn't want to face the rejection."

a whimper slips out, "i didn't mean to make him feel like that. all i want is to see him. i should have said something sooner, before it was too much. i'm sorry."

oscar rubs her back softly, and, “we’re sorry too. we’ll do better this time, find more time to see you. reach out more. you gotta do the same, though. and let us know when you need us to be there for you.”

she nods against him, “i promise, i will. can you-“

“we’ll do the same. i’ll text you when i make lando wash his hair with your shampoo, and when i wake up because he’s talking in his sleep and he’s dreaming about you. make lando text you too. he’ll probably complain that i sleep on him when he smells like you and he prefers being the big spoon.”

she lets out a breath of air, almost a laugh but not quite, “i was gonna say, can you call lando? thank you for that though, it means a lot.”

oscar presses his face into her hair, mumbling, “you could call him, y’know? he’d probably love that.”

#ask #🪼 anon #tbh would have done more but i dont have time 😭#sorrrryyy baby #ln4/op81 #hope this is ok #havent fully proof read it n i skipped around a lot so sry for typos or anything confusing i didn’t rly edit

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