#and I was like ‘my God! That really is fitting for this lame douchebag!! He’s so horrible!!’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

venturismcdonald · 11 months

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Alright you, I am totally willing to chat with you about Derek Venturi's vibe being "folklore" by Taylor Swift. I'm gonna end up listening to that album again this weekend while thinking about him, my favourite blorbo, and internally screaming while I work retail; and I both blame AND thank thee.

Okay, yes, because here's the thing: folklore is an album full of contradictions and really fucking confusing plotlines and self doubt while simultaneously believing in oneself above all else and that is Derek Venturi to a t. (He's also Midnights but that's a conversation for another day.) Please add your thoughts to this somewhat comprehensible thing I wrote about this!

Literally ever since the thought came to me all I have been able to think is Derek being every song and I have ✨thoughts✨ on it.

the 1: alright, look, Derek is aware that people *think* he's cool. But the thing is, he's had two serious relationships in his entire life. Sally was cool, he thinks he loved her, in the fearless way someone loves when they're sixteen and might have had feelings for their stepsister at the same time. Being with Sally was cool, but he knew it never would've worked out long term because... *vaguely hand gestures to his brain, which must be at least 20% Casey.* It's not that Derek regrets being with and loving Sally, he's just aware it wasn't forever and was never meant to be. He always felt like he had to be better around her, to be a version of himself that didn't prank Casey and start wars with the football team (even though, hello, they're football players, Sally, they totally deserve it! Max is annoying and an ass and not a good partner to Casey and football is a terrible sport that only narcissistic egomaniacs who should be spouting the Star Spangled fucking Banner play), a version of himself that was soft and kind and just not Derek. He can be those things, but not all the time. His love language is fond insults.

cardigan: this one is how he feels a lot of the time. As a society, we've acknowledged this is a song about being used when someone needs something but not actually being what they need or want. That's how Derek feels. He's a god amongst men, alright, and that comes with people wanting him for something or another constantly. Do they care about him? Not really, but don't they do a damn good job of pretending? It's almost convincing. Just like the song.

the last great american dynasty: is he a woman named Rebekah living in Rhode Island after the death of her first husband? No, not to his knowledge. Does he fit the vibe of someone who decides that fuck it, he's going to spend the rest of his life doing a bunch of random hijinks with his friends and Casey and their pack of kids? Of course. That's literally Derek. He has dyed a dog key lime green (Casey didn't find it nearly as amusing as Derek and Molly did, because she is lame and needs to expand her horizons), he has decided to pace rocks just to look insane and aesthetic and he's certainly made questionable gambling decisions (hence Sky's conception. Use a condom, kids.)

exile: do you know how long this man spent pining after Casey?? If we take LWL into effect, it's twenty four years! And in those 24 years, Casey was never single longer than nine or ten months (because she's Casey and loves long term relationships and all the bullshit that comes with them because she's never done anything casually. Except the one time they fucked and he ran away to Paris and they never spoke of it again), which meant Derek had to watch her fall in love, over and over again, with different terrible men! Really, what was she thinking? A football captain, a douchebag who rated her (and only thought she was a six and a half, as if Derek would ever obsess over a six and a half! It's insulting), a guy who didn't have a personality and a neglectful husband have been her choices. He has to watch, from the sidelines, because she doesn't let him in after everything happened, after the fight and the sex and the avoidance. All he is to her is a stepbrother she once hooked up with. Nothing more. Meanwhile, his heart cracks every time he sees her and Peter on Facebook.

my tears ricochet: specifically the first verse is giving Derek vibes to me. He knows he can bring out every side of people effortlessly, he can read them like a book because Derek is so smart, it's just people smart! It's why he knows that he has to try and be the greatest (not that it takes much effort, but it's difficult some days) to get any attention, to get love from his parents and his family and everyone around him. Because everyone loves him conditionally and Derek is barely holding himself together. Scotch tape doesn't fix everything. But c'mon, Marti, Simon and Sky are the only people who have loved him without conditions, without terms of service. What else is he supposed to believe? That he's suddenly lovable and perfect and doesn't need to put in any effort ever because he's not a fuck up? That would erase literal decades of George, Abby and Nora's parenting.

seven: being a kid is fucking great, man. Even a kid whose parents don't like him, who make him feel like a fuck up because he had to repeat the first grade (look, alright, it's hard to focus and his brain won't because Derek is broken and he's aware. Moving on), a kid who tries so hard and never gets acknowledgement. And then his parents have Edwin! Just because! Edwin is planned, he's wanted, he's everything Derek isn't. But when Derek is seven, George and Nora start fighting more. He takes Ed (who's two) and they hide out in the backyard, in a shitty treehouse that'll probably result in a broken bone one day, playing pirates until Edwin falls asleep or the yelling stops, whichever comes first. Because being seven is also impossible. It's great in hindsight, but at the time? God, it sucks. He romanticizes it until he remembers having to scream so loud the neighbors thought something was wrong so George and Abby would stop fighting, remembers the time he broke his arm on the slide because they wouldn't get outside and play so he went first and they didn't even notice until three days later because they were in such an intense fight. Being seven was the best and worst of times and sometimes, Derek thinks it was his peak. In a weird competition, his parents would always try to shower him with love right after a fight. It didn't add up, but whatever, who is he to judge?

august: Derek is August. I need this to be known; he's the one waiting on a call, who desperately wants to get it and knows he won't. Casey won't call, she'll never call, because they fucked everything up, hooking up. He saw it clear as day on her face the morning after, it's why he went to fucking Paris. And honestly, he's never really a first choice, is he? He's always the backup guy, the guy who you drag out for looks but don't actually love. You'll pretend to, and you'll do a good job, but no one actually does and that's okay.

this is me trying: he tries, alright? It may not seem like it, with Derek being a solid D+ student, but he tries. So hard. It's not his fault that his fucking brain won't cooperate and he can't learn the useless stuff. Give him a hockey stick, he'll be so good you'll forget all about your problems, but don't make him do school. He hates it. The only topics he can learn about are the ones he's obsessed with (mythology, film, music, the history of video games that one summer, the bodice rippers Casey keeps under her pillow, Casey as a whole entity (this is entirely against his will. Believe him, his life would be so much easier if he didn't know so much about Casey and feel so much about her he cannot breathe and he can't talk about it so it just sits there, being a crushing weight on him because she is inconvenient! And annoying and the absolute worst!), hockey, all of Marti and Simon's interests, etc) and five paragraph essays do not fit that. But then there's the fact he practically is a parent to Marti, doing all the emotional and physical labor of one most of the time. He tries so hard to not fuck her up because he loves her so much. Ed's cool and he loves him, but Smarti's different, okay? When Derek met Edwin, he sort of just shrugged, loved the kid and failed to get him into anything cool. When he met Marti, Abby told him he'd be taking on responsibility and Derek took that seriously. He's uncharacteristically responsible with her. Marti is the fucking best. Derek tries so hard to not be obsessed with Casey, even though it feels like she's in his fucking bloodstream, she's running through him, she's a goddamn part of him and sometimes he wants to crawl inside of her skin and live there, because he knows she can't feel the same. Casey doesn't love him. Casey doesn't even like him! So he pranks her and grins and throws a fit when she dates Sam (which, seriously Sam? What a fucking betrayal, dude. The male code! It's a real thing and definitely not something he just pulled out of his ass so you wouldn't date his annoying and hot stepsister) and eventually tries to be a decent person because, for some reason, she doesn't give up on him. It's sickening.

illicit affairs: before Casey finalized her divorce with Peter, there was (shh, it's a secret, don't tell the family) an affair happening in her house. Take two guesses as to who it was. Derek and Casey? Brilliant. Yeah, it's an affair, and it makes Derek feel dirty, like all he's good for is being a secret boy toy, but he loves her so much that he'll take whatever she's giving, even if it's just bare scraps. Derek will break himself in half to help her, to make Casey feel better, and if being her mistress is how he does it, then it'll be fine. He won't panic about their future once her divorce is finalized at all.

invisible string: there is only one explanation for why Derek's felt so drawn to Casey since he first met her. She had a schoolgirl uniform on. Is it his kink? No, not particularly, but she's a hot girl in a schoolgirl uniform. He's not blind! But also, he met her and something in his brain lit up, some part he'd never known was there before, some part that made him want to be around her all of the time for some inexplicable reason. She's infected him like a cancer. It's evil. He loves it. There's something dragging them together constantly, and at his age of 38 (please don't mention it, he's coping poorly), he can admit it might be fate or the universe or whatever. Derek loves Casey and she loves him back. Has for decades, apparently. They should've pulled their heads out of their asses so much sooner, because they're in love and it's great and they go do all the cute coupley shit Derek used to swear he'd never do but in his defense: it's Casey and she lights up doing that bullshit and Derek is a total marshmallow when it comes to her. She even gets to steal his food! And watch her terrible reality shows during hockey games! This whole love thing has turned him into a disgusting sap of a person. Shoot him, please. He begs.

mad woman: Derek's spent enough time around women (Casey especially) to understand they are complex creatures. He'll never fully understand them, but he can try to. They get mad at... A lot, honestly, being a woman must be exhausting (Casey and Marti are constantly feeling things so deeply it's painful) and sometimes it's each other? He's not quite sure, but he knows they're mad. And when they are, do not mess with them. Even Casey, who is stupid hot when mad. The world is against women, apparently, so they get mad at that and the fact they have to pay for tampons (Derek ends up buying them, do not make it a thing) and having it be inferred they're just fucking insane. Which, to be fair, they are! Casey especially! But yeah, it's gotta be annoying, so he's trying to empathize and be feminist and other bullshit that Skyler has bullied him into.

epiphany: so here's the problem: Derek is aware he's had a pretty decent life, all things considered. No massive traumas, nothing a therapist should see him for. Still, he can't help but feel sometimes like there's a war being waged between his brain and the Canadian education system. It's fucking insane! School just doesn't work and Derek is broken because he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand, everything feels violent and he can't cope. Hence hockey, where he can hit things and people with sticks! Hockey is great! It's bloody and gorey and everything else Casey hates.

betty: oh boy. This one's a doozy. But it's not Derek's fault, he will maintain, that he accidentally pissed Casey off so much she won't talk to him. He made one joke about her divorce (which wasn't even that bad! The kids laughed! Simon laughed! Casey is the only one who didn't) and now she's stormed off and won't talk to him so obviously Derek needs to apologize. He hates apologies; they're lame and suck all the fun out of everything and they are the worst! But he does, and god, does he hope that it'll be enough for him to apologize by playing her a song he wrote and talking about his (ugh) feelings for her to kiss him in front of the kids and their parents and admit this is what she wants. Because this thing between them has always been on her terms, he's just along for the ride, but he'd really like to be with her forever.

peace: one of the few cons of being as amazing as Derek is that he doesn't get any privacy half the time. Neither do his romantic partners, as a result. He's aware of this and it's part of why he doesn't date anymore; it's too hard to find someone willing to deal with all of it. Once he and Casey officially get together, one of Derek's biggest fears is that she's going to realize he's not worth it. Because she'll never have a quiet, peaceful life that Casey deserves, not being with him. Everything will be an article and it's going to suck and Derek loves her. Will she be okay without getting that peace? He'd get it if she wasn't; it's okay, he won't hold it against her. She'll never get to live a normal life with him. When she tells him she'd rather insane with anyone else than normal with him, he may or may not shed a tear or two. Because he's not worth that, he isn't even close to worth the chaos that'll come with it, but Casey thinks he is for some reason, so Derek will keep trying to prove to her that he is. Every day for the rest of his goddamn life.

hoax: when love feels conditional and faithless, it's essentially a massive hoax. Derek doesn't believe in a love that'll exist with unwavering loyalty and faith and trust. It's not for him. Maybe for other people, but he doesn't get that. Everyone's love for him is a fake, a pretend, and Derek is great at pretending he doesn't know it. Love is bullshit, the kind they talk about in the movies. That doesn't exist for people like Derek. It exists for Marti and Casey and Edwin and Lizzie and Nora and George and hell, Abby and Dennis, but not for Derek. He's not wired to receive it. And he'll believe they all love him endlessly to go to sleep at night, waking up knowing it's a lie.

the lakes: sometimes, a man wants peace and quiet. He wants to go to an abandoned lake, write songs with his girlfriend, let the kids play and do whatever the fuck Luca and Sky do (he thinks Luca has a boyfriend?? It's confusing. He FaceTimes him a lot) and avoid people forever. And then Derek remembers how much he hates camping because urban hell scapes are his favorite thing, shrugs, and proceeds to overromanticize small New England towns until he goes to one. Let him have his fun, he's an artist. This is his muse.

#ry rambles #dasey #life with derek #derek venturi

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messyfruit · 3 years

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Eremin week: singer x fan

Armin’s fidgety hands only stilled once Mikasa took a hold of them.

“Relax.”

“Sorry. It’s just the cold,” he told her and chuckled stiffly. The outside queue to the concert arena was bothered by a chilly breeze, but both of them knew that wasn’t why Armin was shaking.

“Sure. And I’m the front singer of Shifter Lines.”

“If you were, I’d be pissing my pants right now.”

They looked at each other and laughed. Mikasa stroked his shoulder and gave him a quick hug.

“I’m sure he’ll be cool,” she said. “They’ll like you.”

Armin hoped she was right. He had daydreamed of this opportunity for years. It was crazy to think the day had actually arrived.

“I can’t believe I won us backstage passes. I never win anything!”

The butterfly activity in his stomach was intensifying as their turn to present tickets drew closer. In a matter of minutes, they’d get to see the band. THE band. And its lead singer.

The guard raised his eyebrows as he inspected their tickets. His eyes fixed on Armin’s deluxe edition Eren-shirt from 2013.

The backstage area was a lot more cluttered than Armin had envisioned. It looked like several productions were sharing space: racks of feathery costumes, random props and wooden set pieces were everywhere. The staff of today’s concert seemed to hang out mostly by the small kitchen area, where the feathers receded to walls covered in band posters and signed records hanging in important frames. The guest sofas were torn and leathery and placed in front of the minibar. And in them - Armin saw them the moment they were admitted from the opposite end of the hallway - the band members.

None of them looked their way as the door creaked open, yet Armin’s heart was going wild in his throat all the same, and he stopped in his tracks.

“Armin?” Mikasa put her hands on his shoulders and pushed. “Be cool,” she whispered, nudging him to follow their escort. “You’ve read their interviews. Eren’s as people shy as you.”

“I don’t know what to s-“

“Hi!”

Both of them went rigid as the buzz cut drummer called for them from the sofa. All four of the stars were looking their way now. Armin’s eyes searched - and his legs went limp like boiled pasta as he met the eyes of the singer. The guy was hiding his expression behind long, dark hair. Though, his eyes peered clearly through the strands, and although he couldn’t see the green from where he stood, Armin knew them well from all the posters he owned: Eren’s eyes were green and gorgeous - and apparently of a Medusa-esque nature in person.

The eye contact felt ages long, and intense almost to a suffocating degree, but eventually the singer broke it to reach for a can of coke.

“Are you the VIPs?” the drummer continued. “Come sit with us!”

Mikasa managed to shove Armin forward - until he got his legs back in order and he proceeded as if on stilts, over to the second sofa. My god, they were sitting down opposite his four mortal gods!

“I won the tickets,” he said, lamely.

“Congrats!” The guitarist with the long face was talking now. He came off like a douchebag in most of the interviews, but Armin was convinced he was a good guy underneath. “You bigs fans?”

Armin felt his cheeks burning when he saw Eren looking at his shirt.

“Uh-huh. Yeah... big. Big fans.” He crosses his arms and looked at Mikasa. The heat was getting to his brain.

“He’s your biggest fan, actually.” Mikasa was taking a bullet for him now, and he was thankful. “He has all your albums and merch. He even wrote you all fan letters once. Your music got him through some bad years.”

“We’re honored,” Jean said.

“You got a favorite song?” the girl, Sasha, asked.

Armin nodded and fought for his words. “Yeah. Or. Well, it’s hard to- to choose...” Jesus, he was so nervous. He looked at Eren again, but the guy wasn’t talking, only staring silently behind his coke and curtain of hair. Armin worried he was boring him already. He bet he was. But this was his chance. “... I really like ‘unconditional’. It... it really resonated with me.” He was looking at Eren and Eren alone. He wanted his words to meet this guy, to mean something. “I know you must hear this all the time... but y-yeah. I lost my mom too, and your song helped me... a lot...” He wiped his hands on his knees and felt a lump grow in his throat. “I just wanted to say... well. Thank you. For that.”

“Man, sorry to hear it,” Connie said with an honest frown. He picked a can from the minibar and threw it. “Here.”

“Do you want us to sign something?” Jean asked awkwardly. But before he could get a reply, Eren said: “did you get an answer?”

He was looking at Armin.

“... I’m sorry?” Armin’s stomach was in a knot in under a millisecond. They were locking eyes again, and his mouth was dry with nerves. Don’t say the wrong thing, don’t say the wrong thing.

“... your letters. Did we write you back?”

“Oh!” Armin knew he was hot red now, the heat was unmistakable. His hands were back on his knees and he was praying his shirt wasn’t dark with pit stains. “... No... But- but I understand! You must get fan mail every day! You can’t possibly to get all of them.”

“It’s not an excuse.” Eren’s voice was dark and serious. “You pour your heart out and I don’t even answer. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“Really... it’s ok.”

“It’s not.”

The other band members tried to lighten the serious mood, but eccentric Eren Yeager seemed inconsolably angry with himself until it was time to get ready for the stage. The conversations eventually found a natural flow, but Eren wouldn’t - or couldn’t - entertain the more casual. He seemed to be weighted by what he’d been told. And just before showtime, he pulled Armin into a dressing room for a word in private. Armin was ready to pass out, but mustered the strength to follow - with his heart in his throat and his guts it a knot.

The room smelled of indoor cigarettes and spilled booze, and for once, Eren didn’t fit in with the bad boy scenery; his hair was behind his ears and his frown read softly of sincerity and compassion.

“Armin, I feel really bad,” he told Armin, leaning with his back both hands against a makeup station.

Armin shook his head and hugged himself. “I didn’t come here to hold anything against you,” he said. “I love your music because you say what’s important through it. I got all the answer I needed in your songs...”

Eren sighed and shook his head down. He shoved a hand inside his pocket and pulled out a note Armin had seen him scribble just previously.

“Write me a new one.”

“What?”

Eren gently took Armin’s hand and held it out with its palm upturned. He put the note there and looked intently at Armin. A phone number.

“Write me a new letter. And I promise, I’ll write you back this time.”

Eren would keep his word, turns out. More than once. The texts soon became a regular occurrence, then FaceTime was a thing. And two years later, the album ‘Ocean eyes’ dropped. The tabloids would have it that the famously sullen singer, finally looked like a man in love.

Mikasa said the same about Armin.

#eremin #erearu #ereminweek2020 #would write more in depth if I had had the time #but fast fic it is

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thesilencebeforeastorm · 4 years

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Wild Night - Eren x Reader

A/n: Since it’s Eren’s birthday today, what better way to celebrate it than with some smut ;) 5k + words later and this masterpiece was born lmao enjoy the filth! Fic is in first person, reader’s p.o.v! Dom Eren as well!

“(Y/n)!”

The voice of Sasha calling out my name snapped me out of my thoughts as I was doodling some random drawing on my paper. I knew that with the tone of her voice, she had some random idea she was going to throw at me that she wanted me to do with her. I stopped drawing and waited to see what it was.

“What are your plans for later?” she asked me.

I looked at the time. “Wallow in my sadness while watching my show, what crazy idea do you want me to do with you now?”

Sasha frowned. “Oh don’t be such a buzzkill! You’re gonna like this one. There’s a party going on tonight and I want you to come with me.”

I knew it. It was another one of her boring parties that she was going to drag me along with and try to set me up with some douchebag. I continued doodling.

“Nope, not interested.”

“Aw come onnnnn, why not?” I noticed Sasha’s pouty face from my side eye.

“Because this is gonna just be another one of your lame hookups that you’re trying to set me up with.

“Well... yes but no! I promise you this one will be different!”

Yeah sure , I thought to myself. I decided to turn around to face her. “Who’s the guy then?

Sasha seemed to have some hope in her eyes. “His name is Eren Jaeger. It’s his birthday today.”

“Jaeger? What is he, a drink?”

Sasha’s mouth dropped wide open. “Oh you cannot be serious, this is no time for games! Just come with me pleaseeeeeee. It’ll be worth it I promise. If not then you’ll never have to go with me to a party again.”

Sasha used those puppy eyes of hers on me hard. I rolled my eyes, deciding that maybe a “fun” night out would be better than my show. I also wanted to see what was so interesting about this Eren guy.

“Fine I’ll go, as long as you get those puppy eyes out of my face”, I said as I laughed and nudged her out of my way.

A few hours went by and me and Sasha arrived at the house. It was his house apparently and the place was packed. I noticed red cups being passed around, the smell of booze filling the air. The music was pretty loud, though not enough to make me bleed out of my eardrums so that was good at least. I noticed a couple of our mutual friends like Jean, Marco and Connie. Connie was as usual making an absolute fool of himself dancing and Jean and Marco were chatting it up though I don’t know how the hell they could even hear each other. Me and Sasha were passed cups by some blonde chick named Annie who I recognized was a girl from our school. I was surprised she was even here since she mostly kept to herself. I drank some of my cup, the alcohol stinging my throat a bit but it was enough to handle. I looked around to see if I recognized anyone else while I almost spit my drink out as my eyes landed on some guy. Sasha noticed me almost choked on my drink and she leaned in close to speak into my ear.

“Hey you okay??”

“Who the fuck is that?” I asked her, tilting my head up to point in front of me. That’s when she had the biggest smirk on her face and she laughed. “That’s Eren”.

My eyes widened slightly as I looked at him up and down. He had long brown hair that was a little longer than his shoulders and tanned skin. He was tall, shorter than my friend Jean as I remembered but not short either. He wore a long sleeve shirt with jeans as he crossed his arms, drink in his hand while chatting up with someone. I must’ve been staring at him too long cause he suddenly looked to his side and noticed me staring at him and also looked at me up and down. I took notice of his green eyes and I felt my pussy throb on the spot.

“Oh, I am so fucking that”, I said out loud to her.

Sasha looked at me surprised. I guess she was thinking that I finally found some guy interesting.

“You like him?” she asked me.

“Do I like him? Sasha look at him, he’s hot! You didn’t tell me that.”

She shook her head. “That’s cause you never wanna listen to me!”

I rolled my eyes at her before turning back to Eren and noticed he was coming this way. My way.

“Oh fuck, he’s coming this way. What do I do?” I asked, slightly nervous that he already noticed me that fast. A girl could still feel nervous right?

“Talk to him”, Sasha said as she started to walk away, giggling.

“Sasha, get back he-” I was going to yell out to her but got cut off as I had Eren standing in front of me. I took in a deep breath as he got close to my ear to speak.

“I’ve never seen you around here, What’s your name?”

What’s my name? Oh you’re gonna know my name when I -

“(Y/n). I’m Sasha’s friend.”

He took a step back and looked over to where Sasha was standing, no more like dancing her ass off already with Connie. The girl was already acting a fool. He looked back down at me, taking notice of my figure with a smirk on his face. I took more notice of his features like his facial hair, his lips and his collar bones that poked out of his shirt. Oh how badly did I want to suck on that. He got close to my ear again and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Well you enjoy yourself at the party then”.

I felt my body tense up a bit at his hand, not expecting to be on my shoulder already but I still didn’t mind. “Yeah I will and happy birthday”.

“Thanks” he replied before walking away to talk to someone else.

The party was pretty good, much to my surprise. The music wasn’t crappy, the alcohol wasn’t bad and everyone pretty much danced or chatted around. They kept the party lively which is what I liked because if it didn’t fit my standards I would hold Sasha to her word about never going with her to a party again. I danced with Sasha at one point, though she was already drunk out of her mind while I was only tipsy. Seemed it would be my job to take her drunk ass home so I didn’t want to keep drinking. I noticed Eren from time to time, sneaking occasional glances at me. I didn’t really notice a huge difference in his behavior so either he wasn’t drinking that much or he could handle his alcohol really well. Whatever it was, I realized I had to pee badly so I made my way upstairs to use the bathroom. It was pretty quiet up here in the sense that you didn’t hear the blasted music in your ears and you could actually make conversation up here if you wanted to. Eren’s bathroom was pretty decent, no one had trashed it yet much to my relief. I was done in the bathroom and cleaned up before I left and was going to make my way downstairs when I felt a hand grab me and pull me into a room. Panic was the first response I had in my body but before I could respond, the door closed, my back pressed against the door as a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

“Don’t worry, it’s me”. It was Eren.

I sighed in relief, though I was slightly annoyed. “You scared me, you asshole”.

He chuckled against my ear. “Sorry about that. Had to get you in here without anyone seeing us”.

God, his voice… I couldn’t really hear it to the best of my ability downstairs with the loud music but now that we were alone in the room, I could hear his baritone voice, sending shivers down my spine. Having his body pressed against me with his lips lightly touching my cheek only made me ache to feel him more.

“How’s the party been so far…?” he asked me, pressing light kisses against my cheek as he worked his way down to my neck. I moaned softly in response to his lips pressing against my skin. I tried to think of how to answer his question but I was distracted with what he was doing.

“G-good..” I replied. He continued kissing my neck before he whispered again.

“You’ve been looking at me all night. Mind telling me what that’s all about?”

I was going to answer him this time but he bit down into my neck, causing me to moan again. I grabbed on to his arm, the answer I was going to give him coming out messy.

“I - could..I could say..the same to you…” I panted out. He was making it pretty difficult to speak.

He took a step back for a moment and tilted my chin up to look at him, his height adding some intimidation to mine. The look in his eyes was enough to know that he wanted this as badly as I did. He looked at me with hunger in his eyes, like a lion ready to pounce in his prey. Without another second wasted, his lips crashed into mine, a groan escaping his mouth and a moan escaping mines. I parted my mouth as his tongue slipped into mine desperately, to which I did the same in return, feeling the stubble of his facial hair against my lips. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue which made the kiss more intoxicating than it already was. His hand glided all over my body, landing on my ass and giving it a tight squeeze, causing me to moan again. I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged it towards me, wanting to feel him closer to me than he already was. I felt a rush of heat between my legs as my pussy already started to get wet for him. He bit on my bottom lip, tugging at it hard before diving back into my mouth once more with his tongue. God, he was such an amazing kisser.

He pulled back for a moment to not only catch his breath but to remove his shirt and when I saw him shirtless, my mouth literally w a t e r e d. His abs were so toned, his v line now being exposed above the waistband of his jeans. I couldn’t admire it any longer before he lunged at me again, my body pressing hard against the door again as he went for another kiss, his tongue sloppily slipping past my lips. I could hear the music from downstairs playing loudly as background noise which only made it more exciting that I was going to get fucked by this hot guy in a house full of people like the desperate whore that I was. Gotta please the birthday boy right?

I felt his bulge press up against me, the friction making me want to grind up against him. I decided that I could do that later and that there would be other ways I could please him. I broke the kiss and started to pull at the belt on his pants as he went for my neck again, sucking harshly on the spot above my collar bone. I moaned loudly, my hands gripping tightly on his belt as he sucked on my sweet spot which I was sure would leave a mark. I tried my best to fumble with his belt before I finally got it off, unzipping his jeans and placed my hand inside to palm his dick outside of his boxers. He groaned again as I applied more pressure to his bulge, my mind going crazy with the idea of how it looked and tasted. No longer being able to control myself, I pushed him off of me, a string of saliva being noticeable as we parted. I got on my knees and took his dick out his pants only to be amazed at how good it looked. He was a bit longer than average with pre cum leaking out of his dick tip. I placed my hand around the base of his cock and licked up the underside of it before I moved my tongue in circles around his slit and head to taste the pre cum. I looked at him while I did so, seeing him take a shuddering breath at my actions. The view from down here was hotter, seeing his loose hair fall down in front of his face, his green eyes slightly widening and his tightly toned abs in full display. I looked back at his dick and gave his head a good few sucks before sliding my mouth further down his length, hallowing my cheeks as I did so. I heard him moan as I felt his hand grab a fist full of my hair into a ponytail to look at him and began to push me further on to his cock. I gagged in response to that but I opened up the back of my throat to make more room for him as he began to thrust into my mouth. I let the base of his dick go to allow myself to move deeper into his mouth and gripped onto his thighs as he continued to fuck my face. His thrust became faster, my gagging louder as his movements continued. His cock tasted so good and I couldn’t get enough of it. I wanted more of him, I wanted him to fuck me hard already. I wanted to moan his name loudly so that everyone in the house heard who was making me feel so good. I was running out of air soon and Eren took notice as he yanked my hair back, leaving me gasping for air as he pulled me up, his grip never letting go. He motioned me to the bed and pushed me on it before climbing on top of me for another hard kiss. He pulled back suddenly, taking a look at my shirt.

“Take this shit off”, he ordered, looking annoyed and pulling at my shirt which made my pussy dripping wet even more. I could tell that he was a dominant man and that I was in for one wild night. I took off my shirt fast, tossing it somewhere in the room before he lifted me up a bit suddenly and unclipped my bra with one hand and ripped it off of me to toss it to the side. Oh, so he’s got experience I thought to myself as my thoughts were cut off when he placed his mouth on my nipple. I arched my back slightly, gripping the sheets and whined as he began sucking on it harshly, his teeth nibbling on it. He fondled my other breast, pinching and playing with my nipple in his hand. He kept looking up at me, wanting to see the reactions he got out of me as I looked down on him. I started to feel uncomfortable in my jeans so I wiggled to try and take them off. Thankfully Eren got the message and let my nipples go and unzipped my jeans, pulling them off, leaving me only in my panties as he took his jeans and boxers off. I was thankful that I wore a sexy pair tonight, having some bit of hope that the guy Sasha was going to hook me up with was worth my time. He went back up to my breast, taking in both of them in his mouth now and leaving dark marks on my chest as I left his dick press up against my pussy. I let out a shuddering breath as I tried to grind my hips against his cock. One thing I noticed about Eren was that he was really good at understanding body language and began to grind his dick against my panties, the friction against my clit sending sensations to my body. I could only imagine how much better it would feel if I was actually getting fucked. I was growing impatient, the feeling of him grinding against me feeling too good. I pushed him off again, only for him to grab my wrist and hold them above my head. The pressure was sure to leave a mark.

“I didn’t say you could fucking move”, he growled lowly against my ear. Fuckkkk, that was hot. I didn’t want to listen to him but by the tone of his voice, I could tell that I wasn’t going to be able to dom him.

“Eren, please…” I whined. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Something in what I said made him stop what he was doing and met up with my face. His eyes stared at me intensely. “Say my name again”.

“Eren..” I breathed out. “Please”.

“Please what?” he asked me, a smirk forming on his lips. He seemed to like me begging.

With the way I was speaking, I felt like I was so little. I’ve had my fair share of sexual encounters in the past but it was always a quick fuck. Never have I had someone dom me like this, let alone take their time to make me feel good. It was intoxicating.

“Please fuck me already”. I didn’t care how I sounded. I wanted him so bad. He motioned himself near my ear. “You gotta be patient baby girl, I haven’t even tasted you yet. I know your pussy is dripping wet for me” he replied, sucking on my earlobe.

“Ahh” I replied, a shuttered breath leaving my lips again. I tried to close my thighs together for some friction against my aching cunt but his knee moved up and separated them. He chuckled lowly, hearing me whine again. “Push me off again and you’re going to be punished”. My eyes closed for a second, taking in a deep breath before opening them again. As much as I liked the sound of being punished, it could either go one of two ways. Either Eren could be more rough with me or he could leave me here and go back to the party with his friends. I didn’t want to test that out and decided to be good just for him.

“Okay… I won’t…”

“Good girl”, he said before kissing my neck, moving to my breast and moving lower to my stomach. I looked at him, his eyes never looking away from mine, taking a mental note that he loved eye contact. He sat up a bit to remove my panties and spread my legs, my throbbing cunt in full display for him. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling shy as he stared at it for a few seconds.

“You’re fucking beautiful”, he said, his breathing becoming heavy at the realization of just how wet I was for him, licking his lips as he did so. He wasted no time in diving into me, his mouth hungrily sucking on my clit as I let out a sharp cry and gripped the sheets. He gripped my thighs to hold me down and to bring me closer to his face as he continued to taste me, his tongue licking up and down my folds before sucking on my clit again. His tongue dived into my core, driving me wild as I kept moaning his name over and over again. I wasn’t so sure if anyone could hear me with the music going on downstairs but I didn’t give a fuck about that right now.

“You taste so fucking good, fuck”, I heard him say as I felt him place a finger inside of me, which slid in easily. I gasped at the sensation as he fingered me slowly, licking on my folds. Fuck, he’s teasing me, I thought to myself as I grabbed on to his hair to pull him in closer. I felt that stupid smirk against me again as he inserted a second finger and began to pump into me fast. I could hear the sound of how wet I was which only added to horny I was as he curved his fingers upward and began finger fucking me fast against my g- spot.

“Ahh fuckk!!” I cried out, as he placed his hand above my abdomen to increase the pressure. I tried my best to keep my legs still but I couldn’t so he sat up and leaned a bit in towards me so that my legs were around his waist. I looked at him as he looked at me, the pressure in my lower stomach becoming too much as I felt myself about to cum.

“Please don’t stop Eren, I’m gonna -”. He cut me off.

“You gonna cum for me baby girl?” Fuck, keep calling me that please.

“Y-yesss” I whimpered as he began to be more rough with me, his fingers moving at an unforgiving pace. I felt a rush of heat spread throughout my body and with a few final pumps, I shouted his name over and over again loud, arching my back and came undone around his fingers, my legs shaking as I did so.

He slowly removed his fingers from me and tasted them before moving back down to my pussy and lapping up all the juices that had spilled out of me. My body shivered, still being sensitive from my intense orgasm as he did so. My shaking legs made it a little difficult to do so but he was able to move them away with his strong hands.

“Look at how much of a mess you are. We haven’t even gotten to the best part”, he said to me, a cocky grin spread across his face. I swallowed as I looked down at his dick, hard and throbbing just for me. I looked back up at him, aching for more as he positioned himself near my entrance. He pumped his dick a few times before rubbing his tip around my pussy softly.

“Erennnnn, don’t tease me please”. The feeling of his tip rubbing on my clit made me grind up against him again.

“Beg for it”.

“What?” I asked him.

“You heard me the first time. Beg for it.”

I rolled my eyes at him in frustration before his body shot up against me, his face inches away from mine as he wrapped his fingers around my neck. “Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me?” The intensity of his gaze made me know he wasn’t messing around.

I slightly panicked, thinking I was going to get punished. I cursed at myself, wondering why I was feeling like this. It felt like he had total control over me, like I was his and he could do whatever he wanted to me. I wanted more.

“I - I’m sorry” I sputtered out, the lack of oxygen from him pressing on my sides making me slightly lightheaded but still felt good. “I just want you so bad.”

The intensity of his eyes softened as he let me go and moved back, getting into position and rubbing the head of his dick on my clit again. “If you want me so bad then beg for it”.

I had no choice. If I wanted him to wreck me then I needed to do what he said. “I want your cock so bad Eren, just fuck me already… please…please…”

That seemed to please him as I felt him push himself into me, a whimper escaping my lips. I felt full as he continued to push into me slowly, his body leaning over he half way and I gripped his arms and allowed myself to adjust to his size. God, it felt so good. I had been wanting this ever since I saw him earlier and now the moment was finally here. He moved his hips back before diving into me again slowly, gritting against his teeth at the sensation.

“You’re so tight, when was the last time you got fucked?” he asked me, as he pulled back slowly and dived into me again.

I got cocky. “It’s been a while since I’ve had somebody fuck me good”, the answer seeming to excite him. I rolled my hips up against him, my body telling him that I was ready as he began speeding up the pace. The pace still wasn’t how I wanted it though, leaving me wondering why the fuck he wanted to be so gentle now. I sat up a bit, taking the chance at grabbing his neck to pull him close. “I’m not fragile Eren, fuck me already”.

He gave me what I wanted, ramming his dick into me as I cried out. He hooked his arm under my back, lifting me off the bed slightly, angling himself better to hit my g-spot. I cried out again, feeling his dick hit my spot at an unforgiving pace, the sound of slapping skin and my moans and his grunts filling the air. I gripped his arms, my nails digging into his skin and scratching them as he kept fucking me faster and faster.

“Oh my god, fuck!! Keep fucking me Eren, please, fuck!”

He kept going though now he lifted me up completely as he leaned the back of his thighs against his calves and I was sitting on him. My legs tightened around his waist, my arms around his neck as he pounded up into me hard, making me shout out his name again. My head tilted back, no longer being able to look at him with the pleasure becoming too much. Had I had known him sooner, I would have been going to his house every night to get fucked. The guy had stamina.

“Look at you, a desperate slut for my cock. You like it when I’m fucking you like this right?”, he grunted against my ear.

“Yessss, fuck!” I cried out.

His dirty talk made me realize how much of a freak he was and I felt my walls clench around his cock. I was close and I knew it. Fuck you for making me finish this fast I said to myself, wanting this to last longer. I held on for as long as I could but his loose hand somehow found its way on my clit as he was rubbing hard against it. I couldn’t hold on anymore and came HARD.

“ERENNN!” I shouted, as I felt him continue thrusting into me sloppily. I then knew he was close.

“I’m cumming” he grunted and was gonna push me off of him to come elsewhere but I held on to him close and grabbed his hair to look at me. “I want you to fucking cum in me!”. I didn’t care. I was on the pill.

Not having any other choice, he thrusted up into me hard, releasing his warm cum inside me. I felt his cock twitch as the liquid continued pouring into me and then out of me and on to his cock.

Our heavy breaths filled the room, neither of us moving off of each other as we held on to one another in an embrace. Loose strands of hair were sticking to his forehead full of sweat, mine being the same way. I pushed them out of his face to get a better look at him, his gaze meeting mine.

“Wow…. that was the best dick I’ve had in a very long time… shit”. I wasn’t lying when I said that. Remember the shitty hookups Sasha tried to set me up with?

“This is the best dick you’re ever going to get”, he said to me. I could tell he was very confident in his abilities. I liked that.

“I guess we should clean up now. You know where the bathroom is”, he said to me.

I gave him a smirk. “I could but… I have something I want to do first”.

He cocked an eyebrow, wondering what I was referring to before I pushed his hair to the side and sucked on his neck hard. He hissed at the sudden feeling but I told myself earlier that I wanted to do this. Not only did I want to do this but I wanted everyone to see his neck marked up, to know that I was there and that he fucked me. I continued sucking until I felt satisfied with the purple mark and gave a soothing lick to coat it. I continued to pepper kisses against his collarbone before softly grinding my teeth against them. I pulled back when I was done.

“Now you may go”, I said to him. I felt air blow out of his nose as he chuckled lightly and shook his head. He lifted me up with him, not wanting to get cum on his bed as I slid out of him, careful to not let anything drip on to the floor. I gathered my clothes and got dressed, not too worried about looking perfect since I was going to the bathroom right across from his room. He did the same, placing his hair into a bun now.

“You should give me your number. Maybe we can do this again”, he said to me, his body pressed up against mine and handed me his phone. I smirked at him.

“Oh we are doing this again. There’s no maybe”, I replied as I grabbed his phone and entered my name and number into it and texted myself so he could have my number. I handed back the phone to him as he placed a sweet kiss against my lips, nothing like the roughness he had earlier.

“See you, baby girl”, he said as he left the room. I couldn’t wait to get fucked by him again.

Extra:

I walked into the living room, hearing a commotion which ended up being a bunch of high fives being handed to Eren, noticing the mark on his neck. I shook my head and laughed, looking for Sasha who was passed out drunk on the couch. With the help of anyone who was sober, we took her drunk ass to her car and I drove her home.

~ The Next Day ~

I could hear Sasha groaning in her room, her hangover hitting her hard. I walked in with pills and some water, placing it on her nightstand before she spoke to me.

“I feel like crappppp” she said, placing her hand on her forehead.

I laughed. “Yeah, that’s because you decided to go crazy last night with Connie and drink your life away”.

She scoffed. “Yeah and where were you for most of the night, hmm?”

My mind replayed the memories from last night, the feeling of Eren’s lips on my skin and him fucking me hard. I chuckled.

“Well…. I was busy with a certain someone.”

Sasha’s eyes widened at my neck as she shot up from bed before wincing at the pain. “No you did not! You two actually had sex?”

I was surprised with how shocked she was even though she was the one that wanted this to happen in the first place. “Yeah we did.”

“How was it??” she asked me.

“Fucking amazing. The man is a freak.”

Right at that moment I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and saw Eren’s name pop up on the screen. “Looks like I gotta go.”

“Wait- !” she said to me before wincing at the pain again. I shook my head. “Take those meds and get some sleep. I’ll check up on you later.”

She groaned in frustration but listened to me as I left the room. I opened the text and read it.

From: Eren

Down to come to my place tonight?

I shook my head and chuckled before typing up a response.

To: Eren

You want me that bad already? Seems like someone misses me.

A minute later I got a text, this time a picture. A dick picture.

From: Eren

Does this answer your question?

My mouth watered again at the picture. I couldn’t get enough of him and I had only met him yesterday. I shot him another text, knowing what would get him riled up.

To: Eren

Aw, look who’s begging for me now ;) See you later xo.

From: Eren

Oh fuck off

Looks like I was in for another wild night.

Tagging: @humanitys-hottestsoldier @paopufruittt @final-fantasy-xv-nut @huntersbunker @angelanimedesaray @mysteriousmagicx @erwinsmithh

Masterlist

#eren jaeger #eren aot #eren snk #eren x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #eren smut #birthday post #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #like #comment #follow #reblog #jay writes #one shot #smut

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autumnblogs · 3 years

Text

Day 43: Openbound

We’ll principally be doing Act 6 Intermission 3 today, so expect lots of pictures in this one!

Believe it or not, I initially didn’t like Openbound very much; I felt like it kind of dragged on my first readthrough, and generally had a pretty hard time getting myself to care about the Dancestors. They’re a pretty unsympathetic bunch.

Then again, lots of Homestuck characters are pretty unsympathetic! I’ve been really feeling that in the second half, as retrospect allows me to view a lot of secondary characters through the lens that we’re not intended to get attached to them.

That said, Openbound is actually pretty key to helping us understand the second half of the comic, I think, and makes explicit a lot of the themes that it explores, and how it builds upon the first half.

I think that the theme of Openbound as a self-contained work within Homestuck that we can use as a tool to decode Homestuck can be concisely stated like this; “Nostalgia and a desire for unity with the past causes toxic stagnation.”

So, aside from the introduction that we’ve already gotten to Meenah through the short conversation she had with the other kids, this is our first real opportunity to get to know her! Boy is she obsessed with money.

Money, like Cake, is a symbol that is associated with the Aspect of Life. As an aspect principally associated with Raw Power - the power to do what you want, unfettered by the stringent restrictions that are associated with Doom - it’s natural that Life would be associated with money.

The origin of money in history is pretty nebulous; it precedes the invention of writing, so any theory concerning its invention is ultimately conjecture. What I think is interesting about money is that the move toward a monetary economy in history mostly (but not always) happens as a result of the fact that it is way more efficient to collect taxes; the state mints standard coins, only accepts taxes in the form of standard coins, and propagates them into the economy by buying goods and services from the market.

It’s a tool of government, and even though Meenah may abrogate her inheritance, the Princess can’t escape her birthright. Money offers control, security... and power. What makes all of this extra interesting is that money is effectively worthless in the afterlife. Here, there’s actually nothing for her to really buy or spend it on; anyone can dream up whatever they want with ease.

It’s a nice bit of callback humor that Meenah has the same reaction to discovering the Thorns of Oglogoth that Rose does, but unlike Rose, Meenah actually does destroy them on the spot.

For being so headstrong and dangerous, there are ways in which Meenah is really pretty surprisingly sensible.

Lord English can destroy ghosts - this has always been a pretty disturbing thought for me. I may have said something to this effect before, but if I haven’t I’m a free-thinking Theist - raised in the Church, and largely independent in terms of beliefs, but I’m still pretty convinced that there is some kind of life after death. It doesn’t bother me nearly as much in works that have final death as a general presupposition, but it always bothers me when some kind of eternal life after death exists in a setting, and can be arbitrarily denied by evil beings with some power or another, like how some Demons and Liches can destroy or devour a soul in Dungeons and Dragons.

In Homestuck though, it fits with the themes established by the ways in which everyone God Tiers - spiritual power can be pretty arbitrary, and generally signifies very little about the moral worth of the one who has it; it does not intrinsically elevate the one who has it. It fits with its general criticism of power and the powerful, whether that’s the Mayor’s hatred of Kings, or the associating of corporatism with the worst parts of Jane’s characterization and Crockercorp in general.

Lord English has the power to destroy ghosts and end the lives of immortals not because he has attained to any kind of heightened spiritual awareness. He’s just some douchebag who through cosmic serendipity was in the right place at the right time to become basically all-powerful.

I adore Meenah’s spark. Who gives a fuck if Lord English is invincible? She knows exactly what she’s going to do when she gets her hands on him, and she’s got a plan from the outset. I think it’s also interesting the way that even though Meenah is absolutely taken by the spectacle of power, it isn’t sufficient to make her want to join up with English. Only soft power works on Meenah Peixes; emotional intimacy, friendship... keeping her entertained. All of these are the actual way to moderate her violent and dangerous personality.

While neither Rose nor Meenah is a parallel character to either Gendo or Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion (I think, actually, that Dirk is the character who most strongly parallels both of them), this bit reminds me of the way that Ritsuko describes both of them;

Rose says of herself and Meenah, “You’re not very good at this, are you? ... talking to people.”

Ritsuko says of Gendo and Rei, “They’re not very adept (at)... living, I suppose.”

The same can really be said of a lot of characters in Homestuck, particularly the ones who primarily find their identity in some form of power-seeking. Whether it’s Rose, or Dirk, or Meenah, or even someone as innocuous as Jake, none of them is particularly adept at living.

Rose is pretty conciliatory with Meenah; given her attraction to danger and darkness, it’s probably not surprising that she makes such an obvious pass at Meenah in spite of the fact that she probably knows what their relationship was in another life.

Further evidence that Rose is the horniest Homestuck character.

“you know how it is with ancestors

they just kind of hold this inexplicable power over you”

Dave continues to progress down the path of not giving a shit, as did Sollux before him.

He’s not quite to the level of reluctance that he eventually adopts, of choosing to just not engage with English at all.

Gods are, to some extent, aware of the various narrative forces that govern their existence.

About the only thing this piece of nasty trash has in common with Karkat is the extent to which they both blabber, and he helps create contrast with the other, somewhat more likable dancestors. Kankri is pretty much openly contemptible, and really in the worst way. I’m almost inclined to call him a concern troll because of the extent to which his verbal essays exist purely to make him feel better about himself. Any time it comes time for him to listen to people who historically actually suffered from the systems they were involved in, Kankri shows his true colors, slut-shaming and misogynistic.

Unsurprisingly, The Other Thief is also the vector for English’s ideology in her session, “turning us against each other to make us stronger.” While Kurloz may be a worshipper of English, and Damara may have thrown in her lot with the demon because of her nihilistic despair, Meenah (rather like Dirk!) is clearly driven toward a life of violence, and restless action for its own sake.

Now we’re starting to get some insight into Feferi’s style of rulership, which in turn, probably gives us some insight into Jane. For Feferi, leadership means taking power away from the people you’re leading if it seems like they have the potential to hurt themselves (or to be a drain on society if left to their own devices). It represents a violation of agency, perhaps not so severe as the kind that Vriska perpetrates usually.

Feferi and Jane are the sort of people, I think, who want to create a perfect world - but it’s important to them that they’re the one who’s creating that world, and less important that the world is perfect for anyone in particular. Just perfect.

https://homestuck.com/story/5288

John’s whole self-conception, and especially his conception of himself as a man, and someone who might be growing up to take on the same roles as his Father, is tied up in the icons of dadliness and masculinity in the movies that he likes.

So we should expect that his disillusionment with his past will change the way that he thinks about his future, and what he’s going to do with it. It’s a shame that this line of questioning never goes anywhere in Homestuck proper, but I’ll use it as evidence in the “John/June Egbert is trans” folder. Reminds me of how my decisive lack of affinity for the Boy Scouts serves as a nice little retrospective bit of evidence in my own trans narrative.

Based on the number of trans Eagle Scouts I know, I feel like there’s a certain extent to which it be like, a fast-track to figuring that out about yourself, like, you tried all the boy stuff and just decided, nope! Not for me.

https://homestuck.com/story/5290

Man, especially if we continue to read this section of Homestuck as conflating the characters and the audience, this whole section reads as John not just having a meltdown about Con Air, but also generally having a meltdown about his own story so far - everything he’s done in Sburb, etc. It just all feels lame and shitty in retrospect, when it was something that was kind of exciting at the time, at least up until the point where his loved ones all dropped dead there at the end.

It turns out that there was nothing particularly edifying about John’s suffering.

https://homestuck.com/story/5300

Teens can be such monsters. It’s the anniversary of Bro’s Death too. Davesprite is probably as broken up about that as John is about Dad, but it’s hard for boys/men to talk about that kind of thing with each other.

Cronus is even more of an incel than Eridan. He may be the most singularly contemptible character in Paradox Space. Do I hate anyone more than Cronus? No, I think I do not.

I won’t have a lot to say about the middle leg of Openbound; it’s relatively empty of substance, and not much that happens in it is ever relevant again compared to the first and second legs.

I like to think that this leg of the journey is, more than anything, a chance to ruminate on some joke characters who were already parodies; parodies of parodies, a joke made at the expense of an existing joke. The kind of thing Dirk Strider would write, basically.

Hey check it out, the Year of Our Lord 2012, and Andrew was starting to show some mild sensitivity in his choice of words. Just mild enough to have the lowest character in the story show a tiny bit of sensitivity himself.

This leg of the adventure does give us some more insight into Meenah’s character. Just like Vriska, she’s all about being a hardass super-murder, until she starts causing problems for the people she actually cares about.

Being Evil Sucks.

This is a really weird sentiment for Karkat to have in light of like, everything else about the latter half of the comic. I mean, he hasn’t exactly had the epiphany yet that the ideas that he has about being a leader are kind of awful and shitty, so it’s possible that he’s talking the Condesce up to avoid thinking about that. IDK.

He also immediately claims he’ll leave behind the meteor to go and join Meenah’s army, so maybe Karkat is just in a pretty low place in general? That tracks.

Karkat’s little conversation with Terezi explains at the two thirds mark of Openbound exactly what this whole thing is about.

Almost the entire second half of the comic is about examining the character’s guardians, and their relationships with them. The Guardians - Grandpa and Bro especially - are hyped up to be these outrageous badasses, both in-and-out of universe, and their ambivalent relationship with their kids creates this ambiguity throughout the comic about whether the kids are worthy, whether they’re living up to their parents’ legacy - and it’s the kind of thing that plagues them throughout.

But the thing is, Ancestors can be lame, or even terrible. They’re not really anything to aspire to, and the image of success that they project onto the world is one of learned confidence, and usually that only if they’ve really managed to make it.

Even the best parents are flawed, and instead of trying to measure up to them, growing up healthy usually means learning what those flaws are, and committing not to reproduce them.

Parents don’t suck; they can be awesome, and generally speaking, for a long part of our life, they’re all we’ve got. It’s hard not to love them. But we shouldn’t turn them into idols.

(On another note, it’s one hundred percent fitting for Terezi’s Ancestor to be an outrageous coolgirl. Terezi is perpetually anxious about being cool enough, the sort of person who is breathlessly fun to be around, who commands the attention of everyone around her, and she’s surrounded by them wherever she goes.)

https://homestuck.com/story/5340

John’s distress leads him to dream about his dead Dad, and boy is he angry. He spends a lot of the second half of the comic seething in rage directed at whomever is responsible for all the suffering he and his friends endure, dishing out beatdowns toward those responsible, but I’ve never gotten the impression that these little outbursts of his are particularly rewarding for him.

https://homestuck.com/story/5358

That was quite a blow. He knocked out like a tenth of Jack’s health bar.

https://homestuck.com/story/5387

Depending on where you’re standing some really totally different things can matter to different people. From Vriska’s point of view, the things that happened back when she was alive totally don’t matter at all anymore - only the matter of Cosmic importance that is fighting Lord English.

But the stuff that matters to the people she left behind, and the suffering she’s responsible for - especially for putting Terezi in a position where she had to slay her - all of that still matters very much to the people who are alive, which is what makes her self-conception as someone who is on the side of the angels now really... not sit well.

She clearly hasn’t changed all that much. She just thinks, as usual, that now that things are even, now that the score is settled, things can go back to the way they were before.

https://homestuck.com/story/5388

Tavros and Vriska are really bad for each other in general. Like, it’s not good for her to be around someone as pliable as Tavros is, and it’s plain to everybody that it’s not good for him to be around her either; whenever he’s around her, he apes her bogus inflated self-esteem in all the worst ways.

https://homestuck.com/story/5397

Tavros’ explanation of what Vriska does suggests that storytelling has become kind of a ritual for her - a means by which she is attempting to connect with her Ancestor, by performing the same actions she is, miming her - still the same old Vriska.

That’ll be all for now. Cam signing off for now - join me for the thrilling conclusion to Openbound tomorrow, Same Cam Time, Same Cam Channel.

#commentary #neon genesis evangelion #liveblogging

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ramenkween · 5 years

Text

Love Song

Billy Hargrove x reader

Inspired by Love Song by Lana Del Rey

This is the first Billy Hargrove x reader fic based on Lana Del Rey’s songs! I’ve mentioned in a post before that Billy is the type of guy that Lana would write her songs about, Norman Fucking Rockwell came out a few days ago and it’s amazing.

Listen to Love Song by Lana Del Rey

Album: Norman Fucking Rockwell!

Summary: You and Billy finally become a couple after having a crush on him for years.

Notes about the story: Some things in this story that differentiate from the show; you, Billy and Steve have been childhood friends but have since disbanded in high school – but recent events have reunited the three of you. Your little sister Flora has been a member of Mike’s group for years.

Warnings: swearing, smut(kinda?)

Word count (from start of story): 2,100

…

You remembered how late at night it was when you sat in the passenger’s seat of Billy Hargrove’s car as he drove the two of you to your possible imminent deaths; your little sister Flora and Billy’s sister Max were in Steve Harrington’s car ahead with Lucas and Dustin. You sat there quietly when Billy looked over at you.

“Oh man,” he grumbled. “Remember when we were kids? Steve and I always used to hang out at your house because I didn’t want you guys at mine when my dad was there… and Steve’s parents were just weird about him being friends with us?”

The nostalgia came reeling in; they were definitely simpler times when you, Billy and Steve were hopeless, innocent children. You were equally close with them both, but you were just that little bit closer with Billy – there’d be things that you couldn’t tell Steve because he wouldn’t understand it the way Billy would. That trust in him was what sparked your long-time crush on Billy, and that secret still remained with Steve. But those days became nothing more than bittersweet childhood memories. Years passed and high school changed the boys more than it changed you; you remained the shy and reserved girl that only ever blossomed around them. A smile lets out across your face.

“Yeah… Those were really good days” you reply.

“We’d play Truth or Dare in your living room, and the most dangerous thing we did was daring Steve to drink a capful of your dad’s Reaper Sauce. Now our little sisters are going on some sort of death expedition” he joked. “Where did it all go wrong?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know… times have changed. We changed, too.”

“What the hell happened to us huh?” he said back.

“We grew up I guess. Steve grew that headful of hair and became King Steve and you… You grew a mullet and wore tight jeans and suddenly all the girls want you.” Billy laughed politely.

“And what about you?” he asked.

“I’m still the same. No new friends… Nothing. It’s just been me.”

“But there have been times when I asked you to hang out with me and my other friends. Why didn’t you ever show?”

You rolled your eyes and sneered, “Billy you might not have noticed, but I don’t exactly fit in to society’s ideal standards.”

“That’s too bad” he replied. “Because even though we don’t hang out like we used to, I still think you’re pretty awesome.”

You felt your cheeks redden slightly but thankfully it was too dark for him to notice.

“Thanks Billy.”

Then after a moment of not saying anything to each other, Billy cleared his throat.

“Alright, how about this; when this whole thing blows over, when we finish going after whatever it is we’re going after and somehow miraculously survive… How about we hang out again? Just the two of us?”

“Are you… are you asking me out on a date?” you shyly ask.

“We don’t have to put labels on anything… We could just be two people catching up with life. Deal?”

You looked out to the dark road you’re driving in and thought to yourself that you had to survive the night. In truth, you did miss your best friend.

“Okay, Hargrove. Deal.”

And you did survive that night; you gripped Billy’s hand out of fear when those Demodogs ran straight past your feet thinking they’d charge at you and tear your flesh to shreds. Steve noticed how close you got that particular night; when he questioned you about it before your catch-up with Billy you couldn’t help but blush. Steve saw the glow in your eyes and remembered the shy little girl who had a crush on their best friend.

“I’m happy for you, Y/N. He’s a great guy.”

“You’re both great” you smile. “You know, it’s weird; when I pictured the three of us hanging out again it wasn’t because we all had to fight off those alien things”

Steve smiled and gave a light nudge on your arm.

“How did you picture it?” he asked.

You shake your head, “I don’t really know. But I’m glad I got both of you back.”

“Well, if everything goes to plan and the two of you finally become a couple, I’m being Billy’s best man at your wedding” you went beet red when Steve teased you about it.

During the catch-up with Billy, you realised how your crush on him never went away, but was dormant instead. The feeling came back almost instantly when he spoke about his life he, you and Steve parted ways. Billy drove you back to your house when it ended.

“I had a nice time–”

He cut off your words with a tender kiss; it came to you as a shock at first, but you eventually gave in and let yourself melt within it. You were breathless.

“Holy shit… That’s what I’ve been missing all these years?” Billy said to you before pulling you in for another kiss.

“Billy… I’ve been in love with you since the sixth grade” you weakly murmured.

Billy sighed happily as he leaned his forehead against yours.

“I know” he whispered. “Steve sucks at keeping secrets. Sorry I took so long to finally feel the same way…”

“It’s okay” you tell him. “You were worth the wait.”

The two of you officially became a couple after your third date – with Steve’s help he and Billy set up an outdoor theatre in your backyard using an old projector and a large white dust sheet; you were confined to your room until it was fully ready. You watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show nestled in Billy’s arms as he played with your hair.

“Do you think we’ll end up like Brad and Janet?” you ask him.

“You mean our car breaks down in front of a creepy house and we end up meeting a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania?” he jokingly replied.

“No you douchebag!” you laughed. “I mean like, having a future together? Or is that too soon to say?”

“Well, if we’re going to be like Brad and Janet, don’t you think we’d have to be a couple first?”

You release yourself from his arms and turn to face him.

“We – we’re not a couple?” you ask, smile fading from your face.

“We never confirmed it… but now that we’re here,” Billy pulled out a small sunflower from his jacket pocket and presented it to you. “Roses are lame. You radiate sunshine and warmth even in the darkest and cold places. You’re my sunflower, Y/N”

“Billy…”

“I don’t want to wait another date to ask you. I got you back after so many years. So, Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?”

You hold Billy’s face as you bring him in to you for a fervent kiss.

“Yes” you tell him between kisses. “I wouldn’t want anything more than to be your girlfriend.”

Days turned to weeks and eventually months; Billy had become completely smitten by you.

“God, I love you. You know that? I love you so fucking much! I’m lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend!” he exclaimed as he drove. You had just left a party that neither of you were enjoying. You just wanted each other’s company. Billy pulled up his Camaro on a hill that overlooked the town of Hawkins. Without saying a word you made your way over to his side, straddling him.

“Hi there” he smirked. “What’s happening?”

“I want you, Billy. Right here, right now.”

You knew how experienced Billy was with girls, and he knew it would be your first time.

In the car, in the car, in the backseat, I'm your baby

We go fast, we go so fast, we don’t move

“Are you sure?” he asks. You bite your bottom lip and nod.

“I’m sure” you tell him. “There’s nobody but you and me tonight.”

You make your way to the backseat of the Camaro after pushing the seats forward to make room for yourselves. Slowly between kisses you both begin to shed pieces of your clothing and toss them to the front. You unclasp your bra, fully exposing yourself to him. Billy took in the sight of you, completely under your spell.

“Holy shit, Y/N…” he exhales. You tilt your head down trying to cover your face with your hair. Billy moves it away and tucks it behind your ears. “You don’t have to do that” he says. “You don’t ever have to hide away from me again. You’re so beautiful.”

I believe in a place you take me

Make you real proud of your baby

In your car, I'm a star and I'm burnin’ through you

In your car, I'm a star and I'm burnin' through you

You throw your arms around him and crash your lips against his slow at first. The kisses begin to grow hungrier between the two of you, and soon you waste no time; Billy takes you underneath him and slowly connects himself to you. You let out a moan of pleasure as he does the same.

“Oh my…” he whispers as he moves inside you.

Oh, be my once in a lifetime

Lyin' on your chest in my party dress

I'm a fuckin' mess, but I

Oh, thanks for the high life

Baby, it's the best, passed the test and yes

Now I’m here with you, and I

Would like to think that you would stick around

You know that I’d just die to make you proud

The taste, the touch, the way we love

It all comes down to make the sound of our love song

Sweating, it feels like hours of making love in the night and you never want it to end. Billy was slow and gentle with you as it was your first time. He made you feel like a goddess with the way he moved in you.

“Billy…” you hissed through your teeth, getting lost in the moment. “I… love… you…”

He stopped to look down at you and smiled before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“I love you too” he said. “I love you so much.”

Dream a dream, here's a scene

Touch me anywhere ’cause I'm your baby

Grab my waist, don't waste any part

I believe that you see me for who I am

So spill my clothes on the floor of your new car

Is it safe, is it safe to just be who we are?

Billy slowly removed himself from inside you and kissed your neck down to your collarbones, between your breasts and down to your stomach before placing your legs over his shoulders. You look down and see the view of Billy’s mouth pleasuring you.

“Fuck…” you close your eyes and begin to arch your back at the electricity he’s sending you. You tangle your fingers in Billy’s curly hair, gripping them harder as he pleasures you faster and faster. It wasn’t long until you were connected to each other again, this time his hips bucked faster as you locked him in position with your legs. You moaned each other’s names loudly, not giving a care in the world if anybody saw you through the windows. The night belonged to both of you.

Oh, be my once in a lifetime

Lyin' on your chest in my party dress

I’m a fuckin' mess, but I

Oh, thanks for the high life

Baby, it's the best, passed the test and yes

Now I'm here with you, and I

Would like to think that you would stick around

You know that I'd just die to make you proud

The taste, the touch, the way we love

It all comes down to make the sound of our love song

When you finished you lied in each other’s naked arms, panting from the best sex you’ve had so far.

“Did I hurt you at all?” Billy asked. You sit up and look at him.

“No, I’m okay. I could get used to this.”

Billy exhaled with a smile as he squeezed your shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re in my life again Y/N”

You lock your fingers with his and bring his hand up to your lips to give it a tender kiss.

“Me too, baby” you rest your head against his chest as he caresses your bare back. “Me too.”

The taste, the touch, the way we love

It all comes down to make the sound of our love song

#dacre montgomery #billy hargrove #stranger things #lana del rey #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader

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destieldrabblesdaily · 6 years

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Hi, I just read a fml about a girl going home on the train when the guy sitting next to her suddely says, 'So, are you coming back to my place?' and she was all flustered and said no and he looked at her weird - turns out, he was on the phone and she hadn't noticed. Could I please have a Destiel drabble about that? Thanks

Helloo friend!

Oh my god, that is fabulous, lol! Here you go, with a twist on the original story! :p

—

Mondays sucked.

Dean Winchesterwas sure that everyone in their right mind probably wouldn’t fight him on thatstatement. Between a crashed computer, a rather impossible deadline, a printerthat refused to cooperate, and a broken coffee machine as the cherry on top, Deanwas sure that he’d lost his sanity somewhere along the way.

Add to thatbeing stuck in a tiny seat on a crowded train at the end of a disastrous day atthe office, because of-freaking-course his car had chosen this marvelous day toonly make a weird hiccupping noise when Dean had turned the key in theignition. Fan-freaking-tastic.

“Isthis seat taken?” a deep, gentle voiced asked.

Deanblinked up from the papers that he’d been studying -might as well make the mostof his time by working ahead now that he didn’t have to drive and pay attentionto the road-, and was met by a pair of tired yet expressive blue eyes.

It took hima few seconds to realize that he’d put his suitcase on the seat beside him (like a selfish douchebag, his youngerbrother Sam would helpfully remind him whenever he noticed Dean doing these sortof things), and he coughed awkwardly while he hastily cleared the seat. Doing a doubletake, Dean couldn’t help but notice that the stranger talking to him was, well,hot. Or maybe a better fittingdescription was handsome. Or gorgeous. Or stunning. But Dean’s brain was friedand he wasn’t doing words very well right now, so he’d just stick with ‘hot’.

“Nah,go a-hot. Head! You huh, go ahead, Imean.”

The mangave him a timid smile, nodded, sitting down right beside Dean, clearly doinghis best to pretend that Dean wasn’t uselessly babbling, incoherency caused by themere sight of one (1) good looking human being.

Dean triednot to stare from the corner of his eye. He failed. Mister Hot had dark hairthat seemed a bit messy, probably from running his hands through it throughouta day that might have been as stressful as Dean’s, and he was wearing a darkblue suit combined with a lighter blue tie that perfectly matched his eyes.Yeah, Dean was screwed. Whenever his friends asked if he had a type, he’d alwaysanswer ‘not really’. And it wasn’t a lie; usually, he didn’t.However if he ever were to have a type, there was no doubt that this was it.

Trying todistract himself before he could use a lame pickup line that would certainlybackfire on a day like this, Dean pulled out his phone to check his email,noticing that one of them was about that project that he’d been worrying aboutall week. Groaning, he opened it, getting caught up in his client’s complaintsand demands for a little while. Until he was abruptly pulled right out of histrance by that same deep quiet voice.

“So,are you coming to my place?”

Dean’s headsnapped up in surprise. How bold. And sure, it was an odd question because they didn’t evenknow each other, but Dean was never one to turn down someone this easy on the eyes.Maybe this crappy day could end on a positive note after all, because if Blue Eyes waslooking for a fun night, Dean didn’t feel the need to deny him.

“Ehm,your place? I mean it’s kinda random but I guess I could…” Dean started,invitingly putting a hand on the guy’s arm.

Far toolate, Dean Winchester realized that Mister Hot with the big blue eyes hadn’teven been looking at him. Had definitely not addressed him. He fell silent whenBlue Eyes did turn towards him at Dean’s words and touch, a frown on his face.

So, thiswould be a good time for a black hole to magically appear and swallow Deanwhole, to end his suffering. Or for aliens to abduct him. He wasn’t picky.

Just as hewas about to apologize, Blue Eyes’ lips slowly quirked into an almost-smile.

“Iwasn’t actually…” Mister Hot paused and held up his phone to get hispoint across, the very phone that he’d been holding to his right ear out ofDean’s sight, because he’d been talking to someone. Someone who wasn’t Dean.

Dean’ssecond attempt at an apology was dismissed as well when the stranger tentativelyadded “… but I must say that you arevery attractive.”

~~~

“Youtwo are such a cute couple! So how didyou guys meet again?” Charlie, Dean’s friend and roommate asked, curiouslyglancing at Castiel, then back at Dean again from across the dinner table.

Dean stillfelt the need to crawl under a rock and die whenever someone mentioned The Incidentthat took place nearly four months ago.

Fortunately,or unfortunately, Cas was the one offering an answer as he took Dean’s hand,sweetly lacing their fingers together on top of the table with a smile that wasall too innocent.

“I wason the phone and asked my brother over for dinner, and Dean somehow assumed that Iasked him to hook up with me.”

Dean chokedon a mouthful of spaghetti. He could, however, admit that the look of surpriseon Charlie’s face was priceless.

She shookher head in exasperated awe. “Only you, Winchester.”

#replies for ts #destiel #au #fluff #drabbles: mine #Anonymous

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the-firebird69 · 3 years

Text

Watch "Disturbed - The Vengeful One [Official Music Video]" on YouTube

youtube

We are all going to ride onto the capital of LA and in this format and we all have the bike and it's all hard knock kicker 5150 and we all believe in what he's saying and you guys are kind of lame instead of bothering us and douchebags took a plan and you flushed it as you do all right considering those stupid you are and we're going to arrive and of course and all these bikes are going to become famous and everyone's going to demand them I'm going to have to offer the hand of God and hand of Goddess for each version and there's a whole bunch thousands. The Violator and Demigoddess Wife will introduce this earlier today I don't think it's him

Thor Freya

Sales are through the roof I have it on the monitor that they can't keep them in the shop it's hard not kicker bikes and everyone is modifying it to look like yours and QE has so many calls and she doesn't know what to do with them she calls up China it says he's been getting him batteries won't you get me parts tonight and he says sure it means invasion and I said where is this first you said the British and now you're sending parts invasions no we come along with the parts how can you fit on those little boxes so start laughing cuz that's what she says and he goes oh no I've been trained by a woman and I laugh because I Hera her and I hear Olympus will say stuff now qe

It's my statement and I'm saying this so get those parts to me now I got tons of bikes to make we're going to hire everybody. And Sebastian is switching over his plant and she's sending parts to him and their retro fitting in the building new ones there's just tons of them and they're all coming out now it's a huge pile they're all demanding it and just saying that he can't have one because it says that he is God and they're all saying it out loud and it's a huge protest going on and then huge numbers of them go up and by the bike so they're using it they say and what we say is he's going to have one and then you're going to say that you're him otherwise it kind of kind of s***** Thor says. We agreed to there's no transition there so it's trying to figure out something anyway you got to make this hand of God bike because if you make tons of them and they buy tons of them then I'll be on it and then go after each other it becomes a lot bigger than I'm making it sound so we need to make some plants on some Island somewhere maybe do cuz he's not really shutting along very well so make the whole island this kicker 5150 and say it's for all those poor n****** all this particular model and of course yours so start doing it and I said I'm making yours here yes and there is right and you're in my particular model Gu says and my Goddess Wife's version right he says. So I got it right away and I built tons it would take them over the whole island putting all your factories there and building this bike. Huge numbers of orders just so massive I can't feel him and we have the biggest factories on Earth back to the Madagascar and Japan is now doing it and they've been doing it and they can't fill the orders there's so many orders that is just mind-boggling so we're making tons and tons of frames and huge numbers of them and he says to make a monster frame making company at the at the mine so he did that it's easy to fit cuz all the frames the same and other parts too that are still and we said this so it is damn bikes you better be assigning people and we are you just might have someone it's a huge number of people who want the bike back huge it's just a gigantic force that we're building and this number of Hand of God bikes is exceeded anything we've ever anticipated. It's so huge cuz I recognize the technique and that they don't understand anything now and he expects everything out of them so it even looks like I'm doing it and they're going crazy because I think it's impressively it says it's not and it doesn't have to be him personally and it actually doesn't have to be occasion and then some people know that so it's on I say the sales numbers are so huge we can't mention them

Gu and Goddess Wife

He sounds so many of this bike I got to wish him luck cuz it's so crazy but then he says I should probably be able to get a fitty out of it and people say yes because they want to be here they don't want to be this guy sitting around that doesn't have one and that will boost sales to the maximum and we've got several plants right at mines and they're right at your minds and we're building the frames and other steel parts right there costume the faster we send them out to work bikes get made so we're wondering how big of an operation it should be and we're asking our people and it should be huge because they're all interested in it and having his bike this is going to be like Saddam Hussein without the war so dumb so dumb you saying hello Saddam but it came out so dumb there's huge numbers huge it's it's way past the sales of any motorcycle company and all of them combined for this year including hard knock and Sim it says he should get his own company and he said no and he knows it's not possible but he's going to wipe out the competition and John C Riley's angry because it's based on the model that he rides it's not the same though and he says have you stolen everything yet why am I getting tired of this you haven't the devil going to have him up so we can take over Scotland and Iraq.

Of course he's requesting we make approve a beer and a whiskey and call it the devil's own whiskey and the devils beer and my name is Lilith by the way she says and she's making it hers right now as he requested she's still a little miffed I just came out with a title he's doing it again fighting a little bit not much if they're going to make one with both of them on it this is what they call it she's going to name it it's already huge and it's out in the stores he says he's going to present it over and the devil's Tower and it's not in stores yet but it's near them Google searching seek and destroy they want to beat the opening she's over there too at the devil's Tower right on top of it you're going to show me it and they have the bikes tons of people are going huge caravans and yes military ones they have a way out but decided to load the bikes up and it's in there they did a commercial and they tasted and they're asking if people want to come up and taste it and have free drinks and they said yes so doing that and the machines are coming and they're about to head out and they said wait wait you can't go and leave us here I said they're just going to leave if we do they said okay so they're waiting a few minutes to see what happens all sudden one of them started firing the firing on the crowd and we stopped it it's corky it started hitting him and actually we wiped them out this is approaching carefully I said well corky wants to just destroy him and he go up and say well you know it's time to get rid of that little b**** corky he's had it you know what he's saying so we're leaving and we hear the people the same don't leave us here and said it's time for you guys to vacate the premises as well so they're going down and they're leaving and say okay it wasn't that bad and they leave and nothing happened to him suddenly we get this screw you she ran into the line of trucks and stuff and we said well it seems to be Max so what am I and they're just humans and they said we got to drink it first and that's why I don't know what it is so if you came over there drinking together and we left a huge bunch of it up there this big huge cast of it and then caravan is pulling up and they're all going upstairs drinking it and we're delivering beer also they start laughing cork is a party pooper yeah certainly is. I have my own brand Liluth's Brew and there's a whiskey and there's a beer and a silly huge almost more than his almost and it's up and there's tons of sails and it's going out the door and it has a guy eventual one on his on the whiskey and the beer and eventually what looks like it's even more so on the whiskey but looks like himself on the pier there's all sorts of contests for the Hand of God bike in the Hand of Goddess online

Hera Zues

We just got done explaining that we have our own versions and we were up there too and that's who they let go and we're clear now if we're out and they know why we're flipping them off and we have our bikes and we're riding away and yes Pee-wee Herman was out there yesterday

Thor Freya

It's really my vehicle but he helped make it the way it is even the version of mine is telling me what to put there and tell me what to put on it how to do it I'm really getting pissed cuz I don't get any money from all this stuff and it's a three ring circles just barely made it out of there live up to upstate New York a bunch of fools fighting with some s***** buildings I started laughing about myself and I was leaving vrying a little it says that would be great footage for a movie I started laughing because it is my God what a stupid thing just as Mac was about a stupid movie about the teamsters and everyone's trying to wonder what they're doing stupid crap and New York is gone by the way all states pretty much going and they're moving that Old Town we're in now they're taking the rest of the place pretty soon Virginia will be gone I wonder if it's a good idea or not

John C Reilly says and he's been a huge pain in the ass threading ever since you get off Island about 2 weeks ago and he's been driving this hard knock kicker thing for us and he doesn't want him in a bike but it seems that he's finally gone too far and people say it's John C Riley version really Randall text calm but don't feel motivated because Randall is not around so now I guess what he has to do and the two big ones see it it's going to try and compete with him instead of flying and pissed and have him do the job for himself

Thor Freya

He's making some funny noises that's turning their faces sour and we like it because her big huge ninnies

Olympus

#Youtube

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therpmemes · 6 years

Text

santana lopez quotes (1/2) → sentence starters

part 1 (season one-three) // part 2 (season four-six)

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it - but I like being here. ❞

❝ Sex is not dating. ❞

❝ Let us give you an introduction into the way we work. You buy us dinner, we make out in front of you. It's like, the best deal ever. ❞

❝ You know what actually, would you mind waiting in the car? Oh, and leave your credit card. ❞

❝ Everything about you screams virgin. ❞

❝ It's exhausting to look at you. ❞

❝ Please,she's like a cat in heat. She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the room. ❞

❝ I meant, it's a Win-Win for me. ❞

❝ Weren't roller rinks outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame? ❞

❝ Everyone knows my role here is to look hot. ❞

❝ My eyes are up here. ❞

❝ Well, congratulations. Normally you dress like a fantasy of a perverted Japanese business man with a very dark specific fetish but I actually dig this look. Yay. ❞

❝ Can I just say you are the hottest doctor I've ever seen? ❞

❝ I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me or else I can't digest my food. ❞

❝ There's a lot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mack on. ❞

❝ I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you. ❞

❝ Look, I don't mean to be a bitch...well actually I do. ❞

❝ We will be the undisputed top bitches in this school. ❞

❝ If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team. ❞

❝ Okay, hold up. Like, a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head. ❞

❝ Your sweetheart’s been lying to you because he and I totally got it on last year. ❞

❝ It means your boyfriend is full of crap. ❞

❝ Nobody ever tells you anything because A) Your a blabbermouth and B) We all just pretend to like you. ❞

❝ Please tell me that is a roll of Certs in your pocket. ❞

❝ I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think that they suck. ❞

❝ How is this possible? I'm the hottest piece of action in this place, and here I am, on Valentine's and single. ❞

❝ Whatever. I'll just marry an NFL player, they're super reliable. ❞

❝ I know what cheating looks like, I do it all the time. ❞

❝ I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo. ❞

❝ I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama. ❞

❝ Can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things we don't want to change about ourselves? ❞

❝ I've been dry heaving all weekend. When my mother asked what the sound was, I said I was practicing bird calls. ❞

❝ You like her more than me. ❞

❝ I realized why I'm such a bitch all the time. ❞

❝ I'm a bitch because I'm angry. ❞

❝ I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. ❞

❝ I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. ❞

❝ I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. ❞

❝ I have to accept that... I love you. ❞

❝ I love you and I don’t want to be with any of the guys. I just want you. ❞

❝ Please say you love me back. Please. ❞

❝ I'm attracted to girls, and I'm attracted to guys. ❞

❝ Two choices: you stay here and I crack one of your nuts,right or left, that's your choice, or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. ❞

❝ I've gotta gay. Go - go, I've gotta go. ❞

❝ The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. ❞

❝ You're what we call a "late in life gay." You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page. ❞

❝ I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing. I have awesome gay-dar. ❞

❝ Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too. ❞

❝ As soon as we get to New York I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or Tribeca. ❞

❝ When did you get so smart? ❞

❝ I think I know how to make you feel better. ❞

❝ If you ever tell me what to do I will end you. ❞

❝ There’s no one like you. You're a genius. ❞

❝ Are we dating or what? ❞

❝ I wish you'd hold my hand. ❞

❝ She’s beautiful, she’s innocent, she’s everything that’s good in this miserable, stinking world. ❞

❝ It wasn't until I got to kindergarten that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face. ❞

❝ I love girls/boys the way that I’m supposed to feel about boys/girls. ❞

❝ It’s just something that’s always been inside of me and I really want to share it with you because I love you so much. I want you to know me, who I really am. ❞

❝ I’ve tried so hard to push this feeling away and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. ❞

❝ I walk around so mad at the world, but I’m really just fighting with myself. I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m just too tired. I have to just be me. ❞

❝ Homeless will be homeless for a while, that's sort of the problem. ❞

❝ This song is so depressing. I may actually be dead right now. ❞

❝ I’d throw this mocha in your face, but it’s not nearly scalding enough. ❞

❝ Now my suggestion is that we drag him, bound and gagged, to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads ‘Tips Appreciated’ or ‘Congratulations, You’re My 1,000th Customer'. ❞

❝ You may look like the villain out of a cheesy 80’s high school movie, but you should know that I’m fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass. ❞

❝ This isn’t violent, this is clever. ❞

❝ I don’t mean my friend who’s a girl. I mean my girlfriend girlfriend. ❞

❝ All I wanna be able to do is kiss my girlfriend but I guess no-one can see that because there’s such an insane double standard here. ❞

❝ You don’t even know enough to be embarrassed about these stereotypes you’re perpetuating. ❞

❝ Why can’t we kiss in public? ❞

❝ Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another. All of this vicious, underhanded crap has got to stop. ❞

❝ Me and the color pink have been in an argument for seventeen years. I can't believe I have to make nice with it now. ❞

❝ I just wanna be famous plain and simple; don’t even care how it happens I just want everyone to know my name. ❞

❝ Why don’t you save the lecture for the theater nerds that are gonna starve in New York while desperately trying to tap dance their way into the chorus of Godspell? ❞

❝ That sex tape was private. We made that for us! ❞

❝ Oh crap, I think I just realized I’m gonna miss you. Oh God, say something irritating so I can get the taste of this out of my head, please. ❞

❝ So have fun at your ‘I’m a victim’ party acting like you’re not some selfish, self-centered, lame-ass wannabe diva from Hell. ❞

❝ I’m sorry. I always go to the yelling place. I have rage. ❞

❝ If this was happening to anybody else I’d be extremely jealous but it’s really cool. Congratulations. ❞

#rp starters #glee starters #roleplay starters #ask meme #rp meme #source: tv

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ecotone99 · 4 years

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[HM] Stick and Poke

Mark Piletski, coming in at six foot two, weighing no more than 150 pounds, and having enough acne to create a topographical map of Colorado, was in the middle of asking me if I could shout out his Twitter account on my site when I saw Mallory Green for the first time. She was being escorted by another girl, one of the new-student ambassadors. The ambassador chick was holding what looked like Mallory’s class schedule, chattering loudly about the glories of West High. At that moment, I stopped hearing the outside world. All sounds—Mark’s Twitter shoutout request, the intercom announcements, every voice in the school hallway—went underwater.

Mallory was wearing a white t-shirt with a blue-and-red bullseye on it, along with the name of a 1960s band. The neckline was stretched with wear and hung off the side of one shoulder, revealing a single, tantalizing purple bra strap. Her black jeans rode up to just below her belly button, ending an inch before the shirt began, showing a midriff and a flash of glitter that must’ve been a belly-button ring. In fact, she seemed to be a fan of body hardware; a length of shiny black studs circled the outline of her ear and a small gold septum ring hung in between her two nostrils. Her arms were decorated with stick-and-poke tattoos, which, in high school, was the universal signal of saying “I’ve seen some shit”.

For the people in the back who don’t know what a stick-and-poke tattoo is, here’s the gist: Kids who hate their parents (and probably the world) bust open ink pens and, using a sewing needle, dip into the ink and poke permanent, regretful words/images on their young bodies. It happens one tiny stab at a time, and I imagine it hurts like hellfire, but there are always those troubled few who partake in such activities. Usually the practice of stick-and-poke would fall into the category of Super Fucking Lame. Kids who did it were always twisted out of their minds on a mixture of pure THC and UV Blue vodka, such so the tattoos always came out horribly.

Pam Keith, a West High junior notorious for destructive behaviors (self or otherwise) had stuck-and-poked Brandon Strogie’s name onto her thigh after the first week they started dating. She showed it off to all her friends the next day, Brandon’s name barely legible. I saw the tattoo and had to stare at it for a little too long before I could pick out the “BRANDON”. I originally thought his name was a cheap copy of the Patagonia mountain range. The night before, she’d taken the three remaining pain pills from her wisdom teeth surgery to accomplish the bulk of the work. The rest had been helped along with a few shots of 140-proof vodka. Sanitation was most certainly not on her mind in her inebriated state. God only knows where she found that needle, probably her mom’s sewing kit that hadn’t been cleaned or updated since it was received as a wedding gift in 1988. The skin around the tattoo was flaming red from infection by the end of the week, you could’ve cooked an egg on her upper thigh with all that heat. But love is blinding. Pam still thought her tattoo was Super Cute.

She wore short jean shorts and skirts every day to show it off. She was, of course, alone in her belief that the tattoo was Super Cute. Consensus at West High was that it was a Really Stupid Fucking Move on her part, but her friends at least had a couple of brain cells left to understand that the tattoo wasn’t going anywhere, so criticism would help no one. Pam was met with a myriad of “Oh . . . that’s cute”s and “Ah, interesting”s on her first day of showing off her body art (I suppose you could call it “art”, in the sense that it was a literal representation of a high school girl’s blind devotion to her stoner boyfriend).

Tragically, on that very same night when Pam was holed up in her bedroom mutilating her flesh with her lover’s name, Brandon himself was out hooking up with not one but two of the girls on the dance team, both of the girls blondes, but all three participants dumbasses. Pam was informed of Brandon’s infidelity by Alec Mackwood outside of the band room, near the exit door she usually went out to smoke cigarettes after school. Her reception of this information was nothing short of a firestorm. I heard the screams from my locker, screams of surprise, rage, and maybe even shame (If Pam Keith was capable of such a thing as shame).

I saw several administrators take off down the hallway to get a handle on the commotion. Luckily for Pam, she was already bowling out the band room doors and booking it down to the parking lot. Brandon was halfway down, strutting along with his buddies in that type of walking reserved for only the worlds class-act douchebags. You know what type of walk I mean. It took Angry Pammy a little less than 1.4 seconds to catch up to him. I can’t recount exactly what happened, I wasn’t there, but the witness accounts shared the following day agreed on several simple facts.

First, Pam screamed in rage and threw her entire body weight, which was probably 110 pounds, at Brandon’s back, causing him to fall face-first into the dirt.

Second, Brandon turned over and just looked at Pam. He didn’t even bother talking. The guy knew exactly why he was being taken to church. He just sat there, staring up at her, waiting for the punishment that would fit his crime. Yes Pammy, I’ve been a bad boy, I deserve this.

Third, and this was the most discussed of all, Pam screamed some close variation of the words: “I hope those dance sluts liked your micro-penis, fucking deformed freak!”

Fourth, Pam rushed the rest of the way down the parking lot in her flats, skinny arms pumping and black skirt flying. When she got there, she went to work on Brandon’s 2012 black Nissan Altima. She pulled out a switchblade, which she carried on her all the time like most of the kids in her crowd and gave each of his tires a hearty stab. High school administration was just leaving the school and heading towards the scene, otherwise I think Pam would’ve stuck around to carve something crazy into Brandon’s car the way she’d carved something crazy into her own flesh.

Red-faced for eighty different reasons, Pam made her escape in her own deep blue Nissan Altima, the same year model as Brandon’s, which I found to be quite poetic. It truly is a fitting story for a girl whose name is Pam Keith, which is literally a combination of the worst female name and worst male name, in my humble opinion. Note: further investigation confirmed that Brandon Strogie did, in fact, have a micro-penis.

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