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twst-drabbles · 3 days

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Malleus 16

Summary: Class has ended and you’re ready to eat for lunch, but everyone has stopped at the door. Turns out Malleus was there, and he craves affection.

(Wanted to write about kisses. And then Malleus popped into my head. So here you go!)

“Um, hey, Prefect?” Oh, well would you look at that, it’s Deuce speaking up this time, “Can I… copy your notes again? Please?”

“Yeah, I really couldn’t pay attention,” Grim tapped his paws on your desk, like that’ll somehow endear you to him, “besides, the board is so far away.”

You and your group are two seats away from said board.

“Yeah, come on,” Ace laid an arm across the back of your seat, “do us a solid, yeah? You know you want to. Can’t resist the call of enlightening our tiny little brains.”

“What are you gonna give me?” You closed your notebook just so Ace and Deuce don’t have a chance to look at your notes. “I’ve been saving your asses for the past two weeks. You gotta give me something.”

“Hehe, that’s my minion! If you want a fast pass, you need to give us reparations in tuna!” He cheered, once more using ‘we’ as soon as he thinks he’s getting something.

“You have to pay too, Cat.”

There will be no ‘we’ this time.

“What?! Why?!”

You tried tutoring them in the past but having Ace, Deuce and Grim all in the same room for more than ten minutes always leads to either an argument breaking out, a bunch of whining, or just general chaos because one or more people tried to slip out of trouble.

Yeah, yeah it’s partially your fault for losing patience and just giving up on them, but you’d think they’d at least pay attention long enough to take notes.

They’re right there! On the board!

They have no excuse and they have to at least pay you back for this emotional trouble.

Was this petty? Yes, very. You don’t care right now. You want a treat. Or money. Or both!

“Huh, ah, well,” Deuce got sheepish and reached into his pockets, “I have gum.”

“No.” He has disappointed you. An unworthy treat for your notes.

“How about I only eat three-fourths of your food this time?” Suggested Grim.

“My treat is me giving you more of my food?” And you don’t even give it, he just steals it!

Grim hissed. He was probably hoping you didn’t know fractions. But, good on him for finally learning. Shame his first thought was to try and trick you with it.

“Okay guys, you all know that’s not what the Prefect really wants,” Ace leans in, acting chummy, “how about this?”

You were given one thaumark.

“…”

“Alright listen, I need the rest to buy other things, okay?”

You got up after calmly putting your notes away. “I’m going to get lunch.”

“No wait come back!”

But, as much as you wanted to walk out and sit at the regular table while your friends slowly fill in the seats, the exit to the classroom was blocked by a cluster of murmuring and rather nervous students.

“What’s he doing here?” You heard one whisper.

“Uh, did we do something? Were we too loud?”

“I’m really hungry but…”

You are not in the mood. You tried to excuse yourself as you bumped into shoulders but you had to settle for grumbled apologies instead as you shoved yourself through.

Finally, you popped out of the other side, a little more heated and more irritable.

“There you are, Child of Man,” so goes the voice of Malleus, who stood to the side of the door, waiting. The cause of this blockage, students frozen with only his green-eyed stare. “I was kept waiting quite a while. How bold of you to do this, after the slight you made this morning.”

What?

“Wha?” Your annoyance was momentarily replaced by bafflement, but that quickly went away when your brain caught up to his words. You grumbled, “Oh, come on…”

Yeah, you’re probably not even gonna eat at the cafeteria. You’re just gonna get your food and go hide away somewhere until you cooled down.

Malleus walked forward, the surge of students all taking a collective step back as though his very air could potentially kill them.

“Well? Don’t you remember?” He crossed his arms and you were ready for that high-brow glare that comes with all people of royalty, but instead, you found an exaggerated and childish pout. “You forgot to give me my morning greeting. I felt off the entire morning, unable to focus, because I didn’t have the memory of you kissing my brow fresh in my mind.”

A hush fell over the classroom.

And then a, “Huh?!” shot out of Ace’s mouth.

You snorted, then gave out a hearty chuckle. Once you calmed down, you waved Malleus over.

“Alright, alright, get over here. Let me correct that.”

A laugh rumbled low in his throat as he tilted his head into your hand. Playfully, you lightly pinched his ear, just because his pointy ears always caught your attention. He twitched, breath hitching just the slightest bit, and you couldn’t resist the urge anymore and kissed above his brow.

Malleus’s lashes fluttered open and the sigh that escaped him reminded you of a pure-hearted maiden with a fast-beating heart. And yet, there’s nothing delicate about the way he stood. If anything, the affection flowing through him made his pride more apparent. He practically glowed with that royal grace he was taught to have.

You couldn’t help yourself. You gave him an extra kiss on the corner of his lips. Malleus nearly hissed in a breath as he clamped his hand over your own, his body leaning in closer towards yours, as though he wanted to meld with you.

But, with a chuckle, you pulled away and he had no choice but to let go. Malleus was back to pouting, though this time, cheeks flushed and hair slightly messier than usual. The air around you was slightly charged with wayward magic, causing the hair on your body to stand on end. And his eyes…

Well, whoops.

“Good morning. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Better get out of here before Malleus jumps you right in this hallway.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst-drabbles #twst-drabbles exclusive #drabble #diasomnia #malleus #malleus draconia #reader insert

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moonsaver · 11 hours

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Do you have any thoughts about the opposite of the "Im afraid to confess because our friendship could get ruined"? As in, "I'm afraid to reject you because I don't want to lose this friendship so I accept your confession even though I don't feel that way for you and never will".

Like the protagonist tries to convince themselves that this is just like being friends only that we now kiss (and more). I feel like it would fit with a yandere that is a bit delusional or desperate, eveb insecure so whenever the protagonist doesnt seem as into this relationship as them, they just try to convince themselves otherwise, or love bomb the protagonist.

Idk lately Ive been into reversing the tropes and I found this one particularly interesting to me when it comes to a yandere. In HSR i was thinking of Argenti as he seems like the delusional type. Or even Aventurine who would have had to put down a lot of walls to be friends with you and then even more walls just to confess, so rejecting him doesnt seem like an option to the protag (out of pity and care).

THIS THIS THIS!!!! qnon ur brain is so wrinkly and soggy with brain juice..... this used to be my favorite trope at some point idk why i forgot about it i remember eating up any fanfics out there based on this

Tw: yandere (obv), manipulation, intimacy (mainly romantic, only hints of sexual), emotional blackmailing, whatever yadda yadda

But anyways, under the cut!

Okay, so, I imagine this is possible with literally... almost all of hsr's cast. Mainly because most of them have such tragic backstories, and most of them out of that have a really shrewd and cunning mind, so they'll exploit this to hell and back.

I also imagine this is with a people pleasing reader, so lets go with a bit of implication of that.

Anyways, since Aventurine and Argenti are the ones mentioned specifically, I'll probably dive in on them first.

Aventurine is so hard to not feel pity for. Every stolen glance at the marking on his neck makes you feel worse and worse for "rejecting him", knowing he's been throwing signs of wanting more than a friendship quite possibly everywhere and you're most likely ignoring them in hopes of keeping your friendship. It's not like he hasn't quite caught on, either. He knows people's hearts quite well. And where there's opportunity, he seizes it.

It's a bit frustrating for him – just why can't you see he wants more? Or rather, just why aren't you accepting him? You're the first thing on his mind when he wakes up, when he clutches his chip and bets on his life, the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep. Hell, he's even tried to dream of you, forcefully. But then he realizes.. how easy you are to just push around. He goes ahead with the confession, and it's almost a sadistic kind of pleasure when he sees you even try and stutter out any kind of a rejection when he's leaning in a perfect angle that shows off his little marking (out of all the times he curses it, it seems like this time it's worked in his favor). He watches carefully as your eyes nervously flit to his neck and you shut up immediately for a second, before accepting. And when you do.. he's over the moon! Coddles you, kisses your cheeks, becomes so much more grabby, as his keen eyes watch your discomfort. Well.. you didn't reject him, so this is what you should expect.

Again, the frustration doesn't wear off easily, but just seeing you writhe and try to create distance while he suffocates you in affection far from platonic nature, is so sadistically pleasuring to him. He loves watching you in that state, bending to his will so easily, as he waits for you to snap. But he'll probably find it easier to squeeze water out of a rock than to squeeze a rejection out of you – which is precisely what he exploits. You're not going anywhere, are you? He puts on his best, pleading little eyes that he used to have to put on, shaking, trembling voice, desperate hands that cling to you; all the things he acts out like his life depends on it when he senses even a waver of your hesitation.

Oh, fine.. he hates seeing you so queasy almost all the time, so he'll give you a reprieve from time to time. Plans and schedules things you used to do "back when you were friends" (he emphasizes this – you don't think you can just ignore everything, right?), and makes sure to at least crack a few smiles and giggles from you. Of course.. his hand is still loosely hanging around your waist, pecks you on the lips from time to time, just as a small reminder of what you guys really are now.

Argenti on the other hand, has no awareness of your discomfort at all.

He's like a huge dog, the way he's so happy about you accepting his confession and doesn't even stop to think afterwards just why you were so hesitant during it.

Constantly praises you, and it's not soon before it gets to a more intimate nature. He wants to do all the romantic things – kissing under the rain, protecting you from something, twirling you in the air and then kissing you again after putting you down, telling everyone proudly that you two are a couple, buying more and more "romantic" gifts that turn more intimate sooner or later. You have no way out of this without completely ruining everything.

It's.. almost painful the way he doesn't realise. At some point your discomfort probably gets so.. obvious, but he just shrugs it off; perhaps he hasn't been paying you enough attention? Or you're just too shy to ask something of him? Oh, how sweet! How adorable! He thinks. He simply falls deeper and deeper into this delusion, stringing you along and stretching your patience thin. Unfortunately, unlike Aventurine, you can't find most, if any bits of the things you both used to do as platonic companions in the relationship you have with Argenti. He's just a full-blown romantic who wants to do only that. It makes you even more queasy when people look at you in pity, if they realize just what happened between you two.

You can't back out, even if you tried. If you somehow manage to find a way to squeeze out a rejection, or have any kind of a reservation about things getting more intimate/romantic stuff, he's so devastated. Did he do something wrong? Perhaps he's not as experienced as you wanted him to be? Or you're not satisfied with some of the things he's said? Don't fret, he's right on it! Constantly holding you so close you're afraid your bones will break, whispering incessant praises into your ear that slowly spiral into affirmations that you belong to him, spoiled rotten with everything you want; yet, even then.. you can't shake off the intention they were given in. Not when you're suffocated by it.

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b-dwolf · 2 days

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losing my mind a bit, and need to try and get my thoughts in order BUT!

there is just.. something to be said with this season, and how they constantly like to reaffirm for us buck’s place in christopher’s life.

literally starting off the season with eddie opening up to buck about chris and him dating multiple girls at once, asking buck to talk to him (instead of simply asking him for advice to handle the situation, or even asking his girlfriend who- is a girl and would probably be better in that department! but anyway!).

and then showing us buck’s jealousy of chris thinking tommy is “so cool” (we all know now where that stemmed from, but i am still convinced he was confusing a bunch of feelings at once- and even oliver has said buck had no idea what / who he was jealous about!), and when tommy goes over to talk to buck about the basketball court incident- tommy tells him just how much christopher “can’t shut up” about him. and not to forget buck’s face when he says that and how it lasted a few seconds longer than it probably should have

…. and now; whatever the fuck is going on with helen and ramon coming to visit. my money is on abuela getting / feeling sick after the wedding (hence why eddie is still in the same shirt he wore to the hospital wedding in that still of him and chris that we got- also looks like he possibly could’ve been crying)

i am not super sure what the heck is going on there but i have a silly theory that my friend and i kind of came up with! we do not have strong evidence supporting it btw- this simply just based on what we have seen thus far and how the season has been playing out!

but since eddie will most likely be busy being by his abuela’s side- he would want someone to watch after chris for him. our best guess? buck, of course! it would also explain why he seems to be filming the same time as everyone else involved- and plus it could be the perfect opportunity to bring the ‘will of it all’ into play.

i could see two things going on with this; helena says something in a spur of a moment out burst along the lines of like, “you cannot keep leaving your son with a stranger” and eddie can say something like “he’s not a stranger, he’s family” and that can somehow lead into the will reveal! (because i do see helena being the problem here- people have pointed out many times now that ramon is the only one it seems to be putting in any effort into having a relationship with his son, where as it’s crickets from helena! also she was the first one to be defensive about shannon but anyway!)

OR!

and just a heads up: this is not me bashing tommy at all, i actually do enjoy his character and love what he has done / is doing for buck! this is simply speculation and also just a bit of fun!! no harm in silly theorizing!

i could see tommy perhaps noticing how often buck is watching after chris, and maybe he just brings up something about like, oh hey i thought eddie’s parents were in town… are they not able to watch after him? (in a nice way!! idk how the hell to word things but i do not think he would be a dick about it 😭 like he would just genuinely be asking!) and then somehow that conversation leads to the will and how eddie trusts buck more than anyone etc …

needless to say i just think there is. Something. There. and i have sooooo much hope in the will being brought up. based on how many times they brought it up in interviews, and sort of alluded to in the show as well (“you don’t seem to have trouble committing to certain things” you all know where your mind went!)

anyway that is all. thanks for reading this mess if ya did <3

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #diaz family #buddie #buddipher #idk guys there is just something sooo important #about the chris of it all #idk how to ! explain !#AAAA #911 on abc #911 spoilers #tagging as spoilers bc i did mention some of the bts content

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 1 day

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could you please do more averyjameson hcs?? I miss my babies so much 😭😭😭

averyjameson head canons

yess! i love them with my entire heart. i will never get over averyjameson. hope you like them <3. @ilyiwdtpyiwmyhmtkys helped me with this. i hope this makes up for the atrocity that was my last post.

jamie will sit with her for hours listening to her talk about her mom. he takes note of everything she says in his head (like she said her mom used to make her snickerdoodle cookies sometimes and she hasn't had them in years. jamie learned how to make them and gave them to her as a dessert during one of their rooftop dates)

when there's a lot of paparrazi around, he walks in front of her so that she's hidden from the camera bc he knows she hates getting pictures taken of her (he makes sure to hold her hand the entire time so he doesn't lose her)

they love taking walks at night when possible. they know they cant do it often cause there's a chance avery might get killed, but they're both night owls so they try to go as often as possible.

they love sending each other snaps of funny pictures they took of the other person.

avery finds the fact that he's half british hot so he speaks in a british accent sometimes to make her blush

he knows she sometimes takes the comments on her appearance seriously so he calls her 'my pretty girl' 'gorgeous' and other things so she knows he finds her beautiful and that she shouldn't listen to those comments

they love having dates in the dark. rooftop dates at night, candlelight dinners when its dark, picnic dates while stargazing, etc

most of the pictures the paparazzi manage to take of them include jamie staring at avery like she hung the moon for him/following her around like a lost puppy. fans think they're adorable and love making edits.

jamie loves seeing her hair in a braid. he finds it really beautiful so he learned how to make braids so that he could do them on her.

avery gets cold really easily so he makes sure he always has one of his hoodies on handy to give to her when she gets cold.

they love taking baths together. they find them so relaxing and comforting. thats when they usually talk about their feelings and things (cause 1. they're back to back so they can't see each other and 2. they're already naked physically so why not also emotionally if you know what i mean)

he gets her special editions of her favorite childhood books that her mom used to read her. he gets them signed by the author and all.

jameson has a ring with 'avery's property' engraved on it. avery finds it cringe but jamie still loves it.

jamie watches all of her interviews over and over again bc he eats anything related to avery up. he saves his favorite interviews and posts them on his insta account.

his background picture is a pic of avery holding a cup of hot chocolate in winter. she's smiling really widely (very rare) all bundled up in her coat and mittens. she's all red in the face

avery hates the picture and has tried to change the background pic before but jamie either stops her or puts it back.

avery's background pic is a picture of jamie staring cross eyed at his nose bc she told him he had smth on it but he didn't

when avery goes in the shower, she puts clothes on the counter to wear afterwards. he always sneaks in and replaces with his own clothes cause he loves seeing her wear it.

like i said before, she gets really cold in the winter. her nose gets so red jamie calls her rudolf. he pokes her nose and tells her she's adorable

literally then entire fandom hcs that jamie posts thirst traps. i hc that he sends them to avery beforehand to get her approval. she finds them really cringe and weird but she always blushes while watching them and jamie thinks thats approval.

they get really cold at night during the winter. they burrito themselves in blankets and huddle up close to each other

when jamie can't sleep, avery sings to him. he finds her voice calming and it reminds him that she's there (alive).

jamie got a shirt from xander with avery's face on it as a gag gift. he actually wears it in public.

whenever someone hates on avery's appearance in public. jamie always goes 'isn't my gf so fucking hot' or 'aren't haters so fucking annoying. they're such attention seeking bastards'. everyone shuts up.

jameson beefs with her celebrity crush online (its up to you who it is)

one of avery's favorite things to do is to lie her head on his lap and stare up at him. jamie will look down at her and they just end up staring at each other lovingly whispering sweet things about one another.

jamie did a ton of research on flowers and their meaning to be able to create the perfect bouquet for avery.

jamie has a playlist with all of the songs he wants to play at their wedding

they love having ice cream together. they'll huddle up in bed and eat it straight from the carton. they love trying out new flavors.

jamie loves putting his hand on her cheek when he kisses her (and just in general). he finds it really intimate.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #averyjameson

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vickyvicarious · 2 days

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Then, far off in the distance, from the mountains on each side of us began a louder and a sharper howling—that of wolves—which affected both the horses and myself in the same way—for I was minded to jump from the calèche and run, whilst they reared again and plunged madly, so that the driver had to use all his great strength to keep them from bolting. In a few minutes, however, my own ears got accustomed to the sound, and the horses so far became quiet that the driver was able to descend and to stand before them. [...] The baying of the wolves sounded nearer and nearer, as though they were closing round on us from every side. I grew dreadfully afraid, and the horses shared my fear.

So... Jonathan = Dracula's horses?

This actually kind of fits outside of just the wolves. First, the local horses are terrified of Dracula, just as the local people are (and just as dogs are, though they tend towards anger too). But Dracula's horses work for him here, obeying him without seeming afraid of him. Jonathan too goes with Dracula willingly and is going to be working for him.

Dracula soothes his horses' fears, three times. The first time, they're very nervous but he's able to calm them by talking. The second time, he has to use "all his great strength to keep them from bolting", until he has them more under control, and then he's able to calm them again. He pets and soothes and whispers to them, until they "became quite manageable again, though they still trembled." The third time, he leaves them alone and they become surrounded by wolves. Jonathan mentions his own "paralysis of fear" and that the horses are encircled with no escape and so cannot move either, until Dracula returns. He drives back the wolves with a commanding gesture, and then drives on with the horses.

While there's certainly more than three times Jonathan is afraid in the castle, this does seem to map decently to several early scenes. The first time, when Dracula talks and soothes Jonathan's fears, is tonight. He's still afraid but he says that speaking with the Count is comforting and I think it definitely helped him to calm down after his journey to the castle.

The second time, when Dracula forcibly keeps them from fleeing and it takes longer for them to calm down is less specific. I think it could possibly align with him locking Jonathan in the castle? This prompts a panic for a while but eventually Jonathan calms down enough to remain 'manageable' though he's still very afraid. But Dracula's friendly facade (soothing, petting) isn't something he feels ready to lose, so he reluctantly plays along.

The third time, when Dracula leaves and they're surrounded by creatures that want to eat them, obviously matches the vampire ladies. The feeling of paralysis is there too, and Dracula comes back to ward off the more immediate threat with a commanding gesture/speech, before leaving with Jonathan. And to make it even better fitting, we see that Dracula is in control of the wolves, so it's his own creatures putting the horses in danger - just as he made the vampire ladies who try to attack Jonathan.

#dracula daily #count dracula #jonathan harker #dracula daily spoilers

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yuri-is-online · 3 days

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I've read about Jade!Yutu, protective father go brrr. the part with Jade sitting with Yutu's friends like "you're not that slick. who do you think you got it from?☝️" the sass, man

Also! Grandaddy Crewel! his relationship with Yuu seems to be a "parent and child" kind in this au (and I am a SUCKER for this dynamic in the fandom). So to Yutu he's a grandfather figure? A mentor? I imagine the loss of Yuu and unborn child hit Crewel hard, and then apocalypse, and then becoming a leader of survivors, and then meeting some strange kid with magic from supposedly magicless world... Plus what's their relationship and/ or Prof's opinion when Yutu goes back in time?

(I beg you please make the term "granddaddy Crewel" official, please, please, please please!!!🙏)

With love😘, 📻 anon

Jade! Yutu post

Yes the idea for this au is that when Yuu is forced to stay in Twisted Wonderland the school collectively takes on their care, but Crewel really steps up to the plate because of he doesn't trust the other teachers as much as he trusts himself. He sees himself as a father figure to Yuu, even walked them down the aisle (suck it Trein). Losing Yuu and their unborn child was extremely hard on him, and depending on who Yutu's dad is it has the potential to get a lot worse; there is a chance he lost not just his child and first grandkid but his son in law too. But since we are talking about Jade... he's still alive and at the school, but very determined to not talk about his dead spouse and baby with anyone even though Crewel wants to. Maybe before Yutu comes home Crewel goes to Jade's bar and has a drink and a smoke at the end of the day and they have some small talk about the goings on at NRC. Both of them know why they're doing this but they still don't mention Yuu by name. Maybe they talk about stargazing a lot since that's a safe topic for both of them and just close enough for them talk about it without talking about it. It's safe, and completely interrupted by Yutu coming home with a chip on his shoulder and a dedication to acting out. It strains the equilibrium but when Yutu goes back in time...

"You knew didn't you." It's not a question, Crewel has never seen Jade really drink anything other than tea but he's made two cocktails tonight and only one is his usual order.

"Of course, he hasn't managed to outsmart me yet." His eyes crinkle softly, Jade looks old. "He's too much like Yuu for that." Older than he himself is, Crewel takes a long sip of his drink and looks down at the bar in silence.

"So we just wait then?"

"Not like we were doing much more before." Jade has never sounded this exhausted, and it hurts Crewel that things have reached this point. "Do you think they're waiting on us?" How nice of him to not just say "me" even though Crewel knows that's really what's on his mind. "I'm ready for this bad dream to be over."

That's probably the first time Jade has ever willingly told him the truth. If things were better, Crewel would laugh.

When I was putting together the au I was thinking about writing for the staff but knew I did not reeeeally want to do that with Yuu? So I was thinking about letting people make requests for them with similar rules to how I write Yuu (always gn, not like another anime character etc.) with a generic staff member fill in. I was thinking the school music teacher since we don't see one and I thought that would be really cute, but recently I have also really liked the idea of a random person living in Craneport who drops things off at the school on occasion. Maybe they're magicless just like Yuu is and also struggling to make ends meet, but there is just something about them that drives people like Crewel and Sam wild hehe~

Anyway one of the reasons for that was because I wanted to give the staff kids who would be friends with Yutu and go back in time with him. The one I became most attached to was Crewel's son Nero, who sees himself as Yuu's younger brother and Yutu's uncle. Yutu pretty much universally rejects this with one exception, Kalim! Yutu thinks Nero is great and is totally down to call him Uncle even though he's only like. 5 years older than he is. He sees it as a fun nickname more than anything and who really cares, family is family right? While he only has one or two memories of Yuu himself, Nero knows a lot about how badly his father was effected by loosing them and Yutu and has just as much of a motivation to see that never happen again. While Yutu isn't as fond of Nero he does see Crewel as a father/grandfather type figure who he trusts without question. As for calling him "granddaddy Crewel" ( ` ꒳ ´ )✧ that depends on the Yutu. Jade! and Riddle! Yutu absolutely call him that specifically to be a pain while Kalim! Yutu would out of love. Azul! Yutu would just call him Headmage since that's what he is and Floyd! Yutu calls him Professor Crewel since that's also what he is and he doesn't seem to like being Headmage that much.

Going back in time complicates things, Yutu has similar feelings towards Crewel as he does Yuu, and Crewel? Well I feel like he would treat them more or less in the same way he does Yuu but he'd be less patient with his fuck ups since he is a mage and should hypothetically know better than to pull some of the shit he does. Over all thought I think Crewel appreciates how much calmer Yutu is when compared to his other students, the general opinion of the staff about Yuu (and Yutu) is that they can be trusted not to cause trouble whereas the other students can't, which makes them the undeniable favorites to no one's suprise.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland #radio anon #future kid au #jade leech x reader #i had a kid for sam too that i put in diasomnia #which i felt was very big brained of me idk #i should do a little event for the staff though that's be cute

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lightlycareless · 1 day

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Hellooooo I hope u are doing well !! I found ur blog a couple weeks ago I love ur posts😙

I was wondering what it would be like for Y/N and Naoya going thru their first baby's pregnancy. I think it's cute how for the first child they have to get used to mood swings, cravings, baby shopping and all those couple stuff haha. But of course only if u want to !!

Hello!!

Aww, thank you so much!! Welcome to the club, we have only naoya. Enjoy your stay 😏

I'm sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I was quite overwhelmed by other requests, I still am lol, but I manage to write a little something I hope you like!

I kind of went through all of those things, but I do feel like writing more about y/n's first pregnancy with Naoya :> there's just so much agnjakshgjakshgjaghjia

Anyways, here are the warnings: fluff. you're pregnant with your first baby. naoya is super happy. indulgent. you know hehe. but maybe a tiny bit of angst at the end.

happy reading!!

Their first pregnancy would have to be the most special, loving, adorable, spoiled moment of their life!!!

Not to say that the others weren't, but this was the first time… experiencing everything, you know? So obviously, they couldn’t just sit back and not enjoy this moment to the fullest, taking it to the extreme, as they always did.

It is for granted that whatever Naoya does it will always be to please you; whatever request, no matter how big or small, he is at your command and you should take advantage of that, as he’d frequently insist.

Starting with your cravings, not that he didn’t do that before, but now he’s just a bit more cautious, taking an extra step just to be sure.

“Honey, I think I want something—”

“Sweet, sour? Or spicy perhaps? Maybe a combination of all? I got all kinds of snack for you to choose from, but if that doesn’t work, I can go out and get —”

“I haven't said anything yet, Naoya!” You chuckle. “I think I just want something sweet, that's all.”

“Chocolate? Cake? Cookies? Gummies? Ice cream? Mochi?” He goes on, and you remain silent, thinking…

“...maybe a bit of everything?” you pout. “And perhaps something else too…”

“And something else too.” he repeats with a smirk before placing his hand over your belly. “Sounds like a plan for my princesses’”

“Stop saying that, it sounds like you already know their gender!”

“I don’t, I promise.” Naoya kisses your cheek. “I’m just guessing, that’s all.”

“Well, if our baby ends up being a girl I’ll take it as if you did know, and I’ll be very angry with you…” you frown, he chuckles.

“Hopefully not too angry to eat.” Obviously, you don’t mean any of those words as seen in the way you quickly hug him, pressing kisses across his face as you declare that regardless of the baby’s gender, you’re very happy to be forming a family with him, as well as how eager you were to finally welcome your little dumpling in your arms.

Followed by dates, outings, or however you want to call them: those are definitely Naoya's favorite of all.

From making the most of the little time he has with you between missions and clan responsibilities, to wanting to show off how happy he can make the future mother of his children, once again there is no doubt that whatever you set your eyes on, it's yours, no questions asked—clothes, furniture, food, pastimes, anything; don't worry your pretty little head about anything, he’ll make it work.

“Oh, that crib is so cute…” you’d say once stopping before a furniture store, the two strolling around the mall right after getting ice cream from that one place you wanted to try out for the longest, but haven’t been able to due to Naoya’s… unwanted commitments.

Your hand is tightly holding his because of that, almost as if you were afraid of letting go and losing him. Moments like this make you all warm, keeping them close to your heart.

“...But we already have one.”

“And who said we couldn't have two?” Naoya responds, more than ready to step into the store and buy the crib—he doesn’t care if the bedroom is fully decorated at that point, you want it, you’ll have it.

“No, Naoya! We can't take it!” You’d tug at his arm immediately after. “We can't just have two cribs because we want to!”

“Who says so?” He raises an eyebrow. “If anything, it’s only necessary—the estate is too big to just have one bedroom; I can’t have you walking from one edge to the other just to put our dumpling to bed, nor will I allow it.”

“Don’t be silly… that’s not even a real issue…”

…

“... but if we get another, does that mean we’ll have more rooms to decorate?”

“Naturally.”Naoya smiles. “Oooh, then can we get that other crib as well?” you cheer, gesturing at the one right beside it. “I’ve been wanting to do something with yellow, I feel like it could fit in nicely! I got so many ideas too, aahh I can’t wait to show you!!”

The Zen’in and your family would eventually come to think that maybe Naoya’s bottomless spending when it comes to doting you, as well as your willingness to enable his behavior might not be the best approach…

But unfortunately, your husband doesn’t care, quickly shutting down any unrequited comments before they came your way, focusing instead on nurturing the happy, safe family he always dreamed of having with you.

If you wanted to have matching outfits for you and the baby every day, then Naoya would take you to every store necessary, indifferent if it was on the other side of the country, or give you his credit card to order online, all depending on your mood, since pregnancy made you far more exhausted, as expected.

Which of course, Naoya was dutifully prepared for, showing how serious he was in preserving your wellbeing by arranging weekly, if not daily spa days for you to simply relax and unwind, only the best masseurs were allowed to tend to his wife—the slightest mistake would be met by his reproach, which thankfully rarely occurred since he mostly liked to be involved himself (jealous, perhaps?)

Your absolutely favorite moment had to be when he stood behind you, placing his hands just beneath your belly to relieve pressure from the baby by carefully lifting it, a gesture that while simple, made you just about the happiest woman in the world.

As well as the most miserable when he had to stop.

“You’re the worst husband!” you’d cry, pouting as he eventually retreated. Naoya tries his best to not laugh at the adorable way you complained, but he could only do so much when it came to you. “Why would you even do that if you’re going to leave?”

“I didn’t mean to, princess. But I gotta do things too, you know?”

“...Like what?” You frown. “What could possibly be more important than me??”

“Nothing, ever.” He smiles, carefully wrapping his arms around you and resting them over your stomach. “But you do know you can go to the bedroom to rest, right? You don't have to worry about any duties or such, our baby comes first. And if anyone dares bother you, just let me know—they’ll get what’s coming to them…”

“... I know, I know, but… I just wanted to be with you the most I could before you left.” you eventually admit, looking up to him with those teary, round eyes that always made him putty. “You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”

Naoya feels his heart clench with regret, sorrowful when reminded of the truth.

“Yes, I have a mission.”

“Why do you even go on so many missions?” you protest. “I mean, I get it but—but you’ve been working so much this year, and we’re expecting a baby too! Shouldn’t you… shouldn't you have some time for your family as well? You deserve it—I deserve it!”

“Yes, I do. And you’re not the only one that thinks that, but as the heir and sorcerer, I also have—”

“It’s almost like you’re married to them, and not me.” you frown, looking away; he doesn’t need to hear more to know that you’re very upset (and even then, that might be an underestimation) by his frequent absence, but also, perhaps mainly, anxious for the arrival of the baby.

It was only natural that you’d feel that way, after all, your little dumpling was set to come in just a few weeks, introducing you to the last, most crucial moments of your pregnancy.

The doctors asked you to be cautious, reduce stress to the bare minimum and continue having a healthy routine, but that was always easier said than done, and though you’ve done your best thanks to the constant comfort and reassurance of those you loved, such as your family…

They could never compare your husband, whom you only missed more and more with each passing day as he was forced to undergo missions after missions, after missions.

You might not lack anything at home, and was greatly appreciative of it too, but all the things in the world could never replace his company, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself otherwise.

And thus, he takes one of the many decisions that not only proves his commitment to you, but the depth of his feelings, how excited he was for this new stage in his life, setting an example to his future as a husband and father.

“I'll stay home from now on.” Naoya promises, taking you in his arms and kissing the top of your head, before gently cupping your face, swiping away the tears on your cheeks and sealing his words with another kiss on your lips. “I'll arrange someone to take my missions, I won't leave you alone, I swear.”

The two couldn’t care less if the whole world was against both, as long as you had each other, everything would be alright.

Exactly what he intended to do, from the very moment his heart became yours, he vowed to do whatever it took to be by your side whenever you needed him, in the good and in the bad, for better or for worse…

Until one day, unfortunately, he couldn't.

hahaha well I decided to connect this one thing with another thing I have planned in the future... detailing more of naomi's relationship with her dad and y/n's second pregnancy...

BUT ANYWAYS I WANT TO GO INTO MORE DETAIL WITH THE SHOPPING PART IT'S SOOOO CCCUUUUUUTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Also Naoya is like super detached (acts like it, he's not) when it comes to your decisions about getting stuff for Naomi, but if you buy matching outfits for the two he will die of cuteness. Test it. :) he loves it.

Well, I hope you liked this little something!!! Omg keep them coming I love domestic stuff between our two lovebirds 🥺especially when y/n is still pregnant hehe Naoya becomes an even more overprotective man aghjkahsjgasghasjgk or when Naomi is eventually born..........................

ugh thank you so much for sending this!!! I LOVED WRITING IT if there's anything else you want me to write be sure to let me know!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Now take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 2 days

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I’m Still Here - A comment on media culture and perception 14 years later

I know I'm not the first person to make a connection between this 'Still Here' hat that Taylor wore last year and Joaquin Phoenix's 2010 mockumentary "I'm Still Here", but having now actually seen it, I can't not pick it up and comment on just how relevant this still is and how much it mirrors Taylor's experience and relationship with the media, especially as she herself described it during the reputation era. And seeing as this film is largely perceived as having flopped and fell on deaf ears, because the general public didn't get the commentary that was being made, I think it deserves a closer look and deep dive, even if it's 14 years later. I will be using the comments from a great article by Hanne Hermens, published in 2020 in diggit magazine (available here).

What is 'I'm Still Here'?

Back in 2008, actor Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting and proceeded to seemingly pursue a career as a rapper/ hip hop musician with limited levels of talent or success on that front. A lot of people thought it was a joke at first, but as the months went on and Phoenix descended into a scruffy, unstable version of himself, the majority of people seemed to buy into it and assumed that he'd just lost the plot. I was only 19 and living in Australia at the time, but I remember the media frenzy around this 'unhinged basket case' of a once famous actor when he'd apparently become something that was fair game for public mockery. Only a full 18 months after assuming this deranged public persona, did Phoenix reveal that it was in fact all performance art and his experience of the media and public engagement with his curated persona, a purposeful media scandal, was the subject of his non-fiction film. Somewhat not surprisingly, people didn't like being the butt of the joke and the film was perceived with a wave of outrage, people were calling him a liar, a con artist, and many other things. But just because the audience largely didn't like his way of holding a mirror up to celebrity and media culture, the question remains: Was this an elaborate hoax or was Joaquin Pheonix on to something with this portrayal?

It was certainly a big investment in a social experiment of how the media and public would react to a celebrity seemingly losing it and descending into chaos. And it did take a toll on Phoenix's mental health to be so publicly mocked, even though he'd curated this character and subsequent media storm intentionally. It does pose the question: Did he lie to everyone or did the media and public decide what his story was going to be because he dared to step out of his mold?

Hanne Hermens introduces the concept of narrativity in her article, a question of identity and authenticity when it comes to public figures and how they are portrayed in the media:

Personally, I think this film is a true masterpiece and just went completely over people's heads with the point it was trying to make. It was a very needed critique of celebrity media culture, and bear in mind this was 2010 when we barely had social media (!), it is so much more true and relevant today. And the bigger the celebrity, the more true it is. We create narratives and boxes for them that become truth, and don't you dare step out of it or you will be publicly humiliated... which brings me to our biggest current celebrity: Taylor Swift™

Taylor's relationship with the media goes as far back as her career is long, but has really taken a turn during her 1989 era, resulting in her her self-perceived cancellation in 2016 and her 'rise from the ashes' reputation era, which was very heavily styled around media narratives and it was the first time that she actually released music hitting back at the industry and media landscape. And, in particular, something that really reminded me of the points made above in the film and article, is the reputation prologue (the only words she ever said about this otherwise commentless album):

Like Hermens suggests, Taylor acknowledges the way the media narratives create truth for a celebrity in the eyes of the public. And she is making it very clear that she is the curator of her own narrative by 'what she choses to show us'. Something she also heavily emphasized in her 2023 TIME Person of the Year interview. So much so, that the article literally starts with "Taylor Swift is telling me a story..." and ends with the journalist wondering if everything he just heard and subsequently wrote about, was laid out for him to perceive in a certain favourable narrative. Maybe he felt tricked in a similar way to the public reacting to Phoenix's mockumentary, realising they were part of the game. But she does it in such a remarkable way that you can't help but play your part. Trust the greatest storyteller of our generation to beat the media at their own game. She has years of experience. But I think she's about done with this circus.

Reality or.... the manuscript?

If you are offended by the suggestion that Taylor Swift's public image is entirely curated and has very little to nothing to do with her real person, then please stop reading now. I think it is not too much of a reach to assume that at the very least, the majority of this larger than life persona she has become, is fake. If the songs on TTPD haven't given you that impression, you really aren't listening. In a way, her career so far has been an 18 year run of a show where she is the main character ("The years passed like scenes of a show"). And haven't the last 12 or so months given performance art vibes?? The Mayhem with Matty? The High School musical romance with Travis? The freakin Super Bowl?? Maybe I'm just too grossed out by it all, but it seems more fake and over the top than usual. And funny how most of the people she's hung out with during those months are all actors...

Relax, I'm not saying that she will pull the rug tomorrow and make all her little fans look like fools for believing in this show (although it would be funny...). But I think after all these years, it would be her prerogative to stop playing their game. Stop being a circus animal, or a toy in a box. The Tortured Poets songs are a warning (she said so herself in her summation poem) that, just like when Joaquin Phoenix pulled the curtain on his elaborate trick, many people aren't going to like what's coming. But I truly hope that this time, the message will not be so lost on people. Yes, we are all part of the problem. Our intrinsic nosiness and tendency to make celebrities into characters, remove their humanity and believe pictures in magazines more than their own words or art. We think we know someone, but the truth is, that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us.

If we should be so lucky to meet the true Taylor some day soon, I for one, am excited to meet her.

#joaquin phoenix #i'm still here #taylor swift #celebrity media culture

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eternal-echoes · 20 hours

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“Whether or not a breakup involves infidelity, most of us know the pain of giving away our heart and receiving it back in pieces. You get so close to a guy, sharing laughter and memories. Slowly, you share yourself, and the two of you become part of each other's life. Somewhere along the way, something changes. Something that was so wholesome and good begins slipping away, evolving into something different. At times, it happens at a rapid pace and everything changes overnight. But usually the change happens gradually, until what you once had with him becomes unrecognizable. There are small bits and pieces of what once was, but the picture has changed. The question is: Did the relationship change, or are you finally seeing it for what it is?

At the beginning of a relationship, there's so much fog and smoke; the newness is intoxicating. A false utopia surrounds you both. It's safe-or at least you think so. As time goes on, you go deeper. Slowly, what's fake is gone and you begin to see what lies beneath the surface. Certain things are revealed, and you begin to see them in the light. You know, I know, and everyone knows deep down that it's not okay. Something's not right, but you want to hope. You ignore. You focus on the good and stay at the surface, because the deeper you go, the darker and more sobering the reality becomes.

Once the façade is lifted, the pain sets in. The beautiful image that you once had is gone. You wonder: Was it ever true? Was it ever real? Or did I fall in love with the surface, while deep down knowing the truth all along? Afterward, you wonder: Can I really trust in people, even if they are family, friends, and loved ones? Do I give away my heart? Trusting in someone can be an unpredictable thing that can make or break a person and destroy the spirit.

We all know the truth. We can run and hide. We can live our lives ignoring it. But it always calls us back to what is real. Do we really want to know the truth? Can we even handle the truth about the man we loved, trusted, and let in? We bonded with the person that we hoped he was. We gave our hearts to the man we dreamed he could become. But that hope is not the reality of who is before us.

The truth is always in front of us; we just have to stop trying to look at it with human eyes and ask God to show us the truth through His eyes. When we allow Him to do this, not only will He reveal the truth to us, He'll give us the grace to face it with courage and hope.”

-Crystalina Evert, How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

#Relationships #dating #love #quotes #Christianity #Crystalina Evert #How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

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orphiclovers · 2 days

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Hope you don't mind elaborating on the other turns' YJH's relationship with SP and 3rd/1864th turn YJH? I genuinely enjoyed the other posts and wouldn't mind seeing more. ❤️

anon I will NEVER mind elaborating & I thank you for enabling my madness. I love talking about them sm <3

I guess I'll start off with 41&SP since I've been thinking about them and you didn't specify which one I should talk about. and. there's literally 1864 (?) different Yoo Joonghyuks. that's 1,736,316 combinations of pairings I could talk about. I'm never running out of content as long as I'm alive (well I'm not crazy enough to have headcanons for all of their relationships. yet. link to my YJH relationship chart).

this post has PARTS thats how long it got. under read more it goes

41's personality

oh 41, you miserable, miserable man. during the 41st regression, Yoo Joonghyuk had decided to harden his heart into cold, brutal practicality. he would use any means necessary to achieve his purpose, even if he had to sacrifice his companions. (he never called them that during this round, so it would hurt less when they died (didn't work)). he tried very hard to make himself an emotionless machine (see: him carelessly saying he doesn't give a shit, beyond losing tools he could use, when lee hyungsung and lee jihye die).

We get most of this characterization from the Disaster of Floods, 41st Shin Yoosung, who had a deeply messed up relationship with him that's its own post. she was the only one by his side till the very end and had to witness his cruelty, which traumatized her. and then he sent her to the past, abondened her in the labyrinth of the worlds- his ultimate unforgivable act. (quote 'The things done by the 41st round Yoo Joonghyuk were worse than murder.')

but as much as he tried, he couldn't become that heartless monster he showed to the world. (see: him promising Shin Yoosung they would go on a trip together after the scenarios were over. even at his worst, he couldn't help but try to comfort her.)

SP's thoughts on 41

41 and SP spend multiple scenes hanging out one-on-one so we have a lot to go off regarding their relationship. 41 is Secretive Plotter's second-in-command, the one who is closest to him and who spends the most time with him. For SP, this is because he finds 41 the most quote 'similar to himself' (in their ends justify the means, no matter how cruel approach) and thinks he's most likely to understand SP's actions. also since 41 is similar to him, and SP is the peak strongest smartest YJH, 41's opinion is automatically also worth more, right? girlmath (sp is arrogant).

SP relies on 41 as a trusted advisor and subordinate, let's him in on plans and asks for his opinion/advice sometimes, even if he doesn't necessarily take it. gives him commands and resposibilities and expects them to be done competently. even let's him see his vulnerable moments (do we remember the scene where SP woke up from a nightmare and 41 was there. that was to me what lemon candy moment is to doksoo fans).

SP cares for and is fond of and feels mildly possesive/protective over 41, but only the same amount as all the other regressions, nothing special about 41 in particular. SP think's every version of YJH belongs to him (see: n'gai forest's whole existence. see: 'return to me, [999]' see: 'return to me, the place you're supposed to be is here!' talking to 1863. see: 'That guy from the 1863rd should've been a part of me originally. Just like all of you.'). but he takes it for granted when that is true, because we only pine after what we don't have. like 3rd. (and 999.)

41's thoughts on SP

it's clear to me that 41 idolizes SP very much (in a 'he's me if I succeeded' way). when SP calls them similar and 41 says 'what an honor that is' he's not being sarcastic. he sees it as an honor that SP trusts him and thinks it would be better if he only trusted him, and not unreliable people like 999 (quote: [41] spoke with a voice containing a faint trace of rage. "It was a mistake to send him. Send me, instead. [999] is too soft.") and kdj (quote: "It's all because of that fool, Kim Dokja.") (this is partly jealousy. 'SP doesnt need anyone else when he has me' type of vibe.)

he takes his role as advisor very seriously. sees it as his job to point out the things SP doesn't catch or notice, question him, etc. sometimes feels frustrated when SP refuses to see reason (especially regarding 999)

still he is too loyal to ever disobey and the final decisions are always Plotter's. 41 is only subservient to him. ('lowered his head slowly' in acquiescence and submission. 'if thats what you want' im insane)

41 is very protective of SP. sees himself as a loyal knight, the only one capable of protecting his king. (probably literally calls SP 'my king' in his head...) very quick to jump to SP's defence at any point, absolutely hates people who disrespect him or betray him or dare to speak to him... sometimes goes too far and SP has to reprimand him/ make him back off.

this is after kdj provokes SP. see how 41 immedietly jumps to defend him? and how SP calls 41 off with a single word, literally like a guard dog? SP dismisses his concerns regarding 999 in a similar way.

41 also, and I cannot stress this enough, constantly looks at SP with yearning goey eyes. half the scenes hes in he's just...staring. with love. at SP.

41 too, is cringe and in love with someone who doesn't pay him any special attention. this is a yoo joonghyuk's natural state

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yoo joonghyuk #orv spoilers #secretive plotter #selfcest #spyjh #plothyuk #how do i tag individual regressions?#asks

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lunarharp · 3 months

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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

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muninnhuginn · 7 months

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Wondering about Li Tianchen's powers being related to touch and how that informs his relationships with others.

There are three people we really see him interact with who know of his powers: Qian Jin, Li Tianxi, Liu Xiao.

Qian Jin always wears gloves in the present day, something that shows his careful personality, but is also likely habit from interacting with Li Tianchen considering he never wore them as a cop. Qian Jin doesn't truly trust Li Tianchen, even as he plans to use him for the same powers he shields himself from. Their relationship should be closer to parent-child, considering their circumstances, but is instead more a fragile balance of mutually using each other as tools. Qian Jin maintains distance, always seeking the next betrayal. There's no trust between them though, so betrayal is inevitable.

Li Tianxi doesn't wear gloves and willingly takes Li Tianchen's hand when offered. To some extent she is conscious of being used, but that's still her brother, and so she doesn't shield herself from him. For them as siblings, touch used to be a source of comfort, guidance, and protection all in one. Over time though, that's become twisted. But Tianxi still lets Tianchen use her and Tianchen still sees what he's doing as some form of protection. There's trust here at first, but it's stretched thin, and love can only try to paper over the gaps. Which is why Tianxi eventually reaches her breaking point and runs away. She didn't entirely give up on their relationship though. Even to the end, she was willing to save her brother, despite what he'd become.

Liu Xiao offers Li Tianchen his hand. It's reminiscent of shiguang, especially of the hospital scene when they do the Chen Bin dive by mutual agreement. But also a mirror of Li Tianchen offering Li Tianxi his hand as he uses her.

Liu Xiao's overall relationship with Li Tianchen is a dark mirror of both the twins' relationship and of shiguang, but with the added element that his "friendship" is conditional. With the twins and shiguang, there's still faith beneath any hurt they may cause each other. It's a two-way street. For Liu Xiao, he says Li Tianchen has to "earn" his friendship. The onus is always on Li Tianchen to prove himself in some way. And Li Tianchen is in a position where he needs to believe he's in control because the alternative is too horrifying to consider. So Liu Xiao says "jump" and Li Tianchen asks "how high?"

Liu Xiao can trust that Li Tianchen won't betray him. He is in control of the situation and in control of Li Tianchen. Li Tianxi is dead, Qian Jin in custody. He can't go to the police because they've cottoned onto the idea of powers and he's left a trail of bodies in his wake. At this stage, Li Tianchen has no other ties left but Liu Xiao.

Liu Xiao offers his hand. It's not gloved. It doesn't need to be.

#I feel like ppl want ltc and lx to be a more equal partnership but I think from what we've seen part of the point is that it isn't.#ltc is in a cycle of being preyed on by different ppl and he leans into the idea he could have control instead #so someone validating that and seeming to give him a route out? ofc he goes for it. and lx uses that to emotionally manipulate him.#losing his other connections with ltx dying then means he's dependent on lx. and he's aware of that to some extent tbf when he asks if-#-he has a choice. but at the same time he's in too deep to back out now.#link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren spoilers #tried not to go too deep into the parallels w/ other relationships but I do think they're there intentionally.#the repeated theme of people withholding info and what it does to their relationship is too pointed to ignore.#(also I've said he can't go to the police bc of the whole killing thing but tbh I think that aspect was ingrained much earlier)

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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 month

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I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!!#i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........#now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again.........#ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭#idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

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