#and I possibly show something for all the effort I’ve been putting towards it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kdinjenzen · 2 years

Text

My final words on Rooster Teeth & just SOME of my experiences there.

I’ve been waiting to say anything directly for a long time on this subject in hopes that something - anything - would change and get better, but it’s obvious that this is just “how it is there.”

So it’s time for me to finally say something about Rooster Teeth.

I joined the company, officially, as a contracted content creator and editor in February 2013. I worked to create a monthly video game news/release series. I produced episodes every month until I was officially hired as a full time content creator/editor in November of 2013.

From February 2013 until November 2013, I went entirely unpaid for all of my contract work. I was never given the payment promised for anything I did. When I was hired full time and I brought that up, I was told that “it’s been so long already, it’s not really a big deal is it?” And then the subject was never brought up again.

Within a few weeks of working at Rooster Teeth I was given a nickname, that nickname was a slur. Every day I came into work I was called “Fggt” - but they could not use that name in content so when anyone was recording I was called “Fugz” instead. For any fans who used that nickname for me for years, that’s what you were calling me. I couldn’t say anything about it, I had reported the use of that nickname for years to HR, and nothing was ever done about it and the videos that use that nickname for me are still up.

When Christmas rolled around my first year, 2013, I was given a “bonus” of about $100. Any money I had at the time was extremely helpful as I had nearly nothing to my name, so I was grateful for it. But a long time member of the company looked at me as I was handed my small bonus and scoffed “Why do YOU get a bonus? You’ve only been here for five minutes.”

In my first years there I would arrive at work around 7am (two hours before everyone else) to begin editing videos and would often have to stay until 9pm to get as much work done as possible. This was actively encouraged so we could have a backlog of content, but I was always given “rush orders” to edit more important videos to go out either the same day or next day. That’s when the crunch began for me and it did not end.

From that point on harassment started, and not just toward me. Any time I brought up mistreatment or that “making fun of people in content only encourages the community to hate us” - I was waved away saying “IT’S JUST A JOKE! Ignore the comments!”

This “ignore the comments” mantra was a way to excuse their own behavior. Anyone who was not “important” was constantly made fun of with no way to defend themselves or be part of the content in a way to defend themself even jokingly so. We were silenced at every turn.

Jeremy, Matt, and I tried to make content together as often as we could in those earlier days. And we rarely got the chance to do so. I remember being yelled at for making the Zelda video with Matt after it had already gone up because it was a “waste of time”.

During that time I was put into a position where I ignored my own physical health to focus more on work, which eventually caused me to come down with pneumonia. I spent several days in the hospital with a fever over 112F. When I was released I was back to work only a few days later and with the same work schedule.

Eventually I had enough from the department I was working for at the time and moved departments in hope that I would be better treated elsewhere in the company. I still loved the work I did, I loved some of the people at the company, and I believed that if I put my effort into it I could make things better for everyone.

The department I transferred to promised me a producer job and show running their new podcast while also being tasked to edit videos and sometimes write stories for news channel. I was never given the producer position in that department, I was never allowed even near the podcast unless they were “desperate for a last minute person”, I went entirely uncredited for anything I wrote for them, and I was pushed to edit 3 videos from start to finish every day with little to no turn around time so they could be posted immediately.

My hours in that department were 7am until 11pm.

I was crunching harder than before.

I wasn’t allowed to be in anything.

I had my name removed from everything I worked on.

I was put in an office where I was forgotten about and swept under the rug, people even IN the company forgot I worked there with how sectioned off and pushed aside I was.

In 2016 I came out as trans and many people at the company publicly voiced their support on social media.

Inside the company however, things got worse.

People had no idea how to deal with a trans woman, so I was interacted with even less and only trotted out every so often to show off “We Hire LGBTQIA+ People!”

It was only at this point where the nickname “Fugz” finally stopped being used all the time. Three years of content with that name being used toward me and all that content is still up.

During that time my acting manager began to harass me and lie to the community any time I was “planned to be on camera and couldn’t show up” - many times it was said to the audience watching that I “had already gone home” when I was in the other room crunching to finish my job and the work of my manager.

The harassment continued and I began to spiral into a deep depression, wondering what I could do, I eventually reported it to HR and the “solution” was that they brought in my manager who was harassing me into a Two-On-One meeting where the manager said “oh I’m sorry” and that was it. The way I was treated did not change at all and actively became worse.

I then went to one of the founding fathers of the company to express my concerns, and was told that I was “too nice to work at Rooster Teeth” and that I should “just quit and find somewhere else to work” - I was horrified.

At the moment I couldn’t do anything but feel horrified and powerless. I was an out trans woman in Texas in 2018 and was told “just quit and find work elsewhere in Texas” a state that actively finds ways to keep our rights from us.

Throughout my employment I also struggled to get the company insurance to cover my transition despite Rooster Teeth telling me that “Oh it’s all good” - because of their inaction and lack of help in this matter I amassed horrible amounts of medical debt despite being “completely covered” by them.

I still am recovering from this debt now as Rooster Teeth has been underpaying me for years, my raises were frozen by my manager at the time, and because of that I never received a proper raise even up until I quit earlier this year.

Until the end of 2020 I was paid around $40k per year as a Producer/Director. Far below the industry standard. If not for the help of one person fighting for me to be paid properly, I wouldn’t have gotten bumped up to the pay of the lowest paid person next to me. Which was nearly $70k. I was shocked that I was being underpaid by nearly $30k.

During the 2019 layoffs, I was actually one of the people affected. I was very nearly laid off as well, but was told to either move to LA and work there (at the $40k per year rate which is UNLIVABLE in LA) or be laid off immediately.

I agreed to move to LA, Rooster Teeth said they would be giving me $5k moving costs to pick up my life and move to LA by March of 2020. The money never was given to me and then COVID forced the company into moving to remote, meaning my job was actually saved by COVID happening.

Crunch during the height of COVID was monstrous. Every department was forced to push out more and more content and do more and more work to make up for “losses” - many of us were working 7 days a week and extremely long hours.

I helped run the 2021 Anniversary Stream Event, but in the middle of production I had to undergo life saving surgery and was told I needed AT LEAST two weeks rest before going back to work. The person I was working with to schedule that event took credit for all the work I did up to that point and then BLAMED ME for anything that went wrong with it because “I wasn’t doing my job” while I was recovering for major surgery and was on mandated medical leave.

BRGs (Business Resource Groups) were created at this time to help with representation issues inside the company. I did everything I could to help the other BRGs as well as the Queer BRG I helped lead. By mid 2021 I was told “we’ve done enough for the queer community” - which hurt to hear as I felt like we had barely accomplished anything and were still struggling to have accurate representation on screen as most of our PRIDE stream events featured mostly Cis/Het talent still.

During this time there was a lot of outspokenness for the mistreatment of minority groups inside of Rooster Teeth from former employees, lots of fans asked “Why didn’t you all do anything about it?”, to which I say actual ground level employees did everything they could. But we could only do so much.

At that moment I asked for transparency for how others, not just one or two employees, were treated in the company - myself included - and was essentially told that “the company is going through a lot right now just leave it alone”. How I was being treated and how others were being treated was once again swept under the rug.

I left Rooster Teeth because, despite thinking I could make positive change in the company, they proved that I couldn’t every step of the way. From 2013 until 2022, I did what I could to help my fellow employees, make positive change, and help the industry.

It’s also worth mentioning that for every bit of VO I did before I left Rooster Teeth, I wasn’t actually paid for any of it under the idea that “I was an employee, so I don’t need to be paid for VO.” In that case and the way it was viewed, I was paid less than $30 per hour for each of my VO sessions. Which is well below any industry standard.

But I was ultimately silenced and pushed aside.

This is all really just the surface level, there’s so much more I want to say but honestly it’s all so exhausting at this point and I’ve done everything I can.

I still struggle regularly with the emotional, mental, physical, and financial damage that was done to me over those years.

There are good people still working there, I’m friends with them, and I wish them the best.

TL;DR

Feb 2013 - Nov 2013. Unpaid Contract Work

Fugz = Fggt, reported to HR nothing was done

2013 Christmas "Bonus" $100. Long time members disapproved of said bonus

14hr work days, rush orders for same or next day videos

"Any time I brought up mistreatment or that “making fun of people in content only encourages the community to hate us” - I was waved away saying “IT’S JUST A JOKE! Ignore the comments!”" RT crunch caused pneumonia, no recovery period on return

Crunched harder, physically isolated "people even IN the company forgot I worked"

RT never fulfilled their deals promotion deals

15 hr work days

2016 came out as Trans, Transphobia harassment started

Acting Manager lied to the community and harassed me, HR did nothing and enabled harassment

Founding Fathers knew and did nothing. Said “too nice to work at Rooster Teeth” and "just quit and find somewhere else to work"

RT did not properly support medical insurance coverage

End 2020 Position Producer/Director, paid $40k. Next lowest paid person was $70k.

2019, forced to move to LA or get laid off. RT never paid moving costs. COVID forced remote jobs thus SAVING my job

RT INCREASES crunch during COVID

2021 Anniversary Stream Event. Had LIFE SAVING surgery, majority work stolen by coworker and blamed production failures on me during MEDICAL LEAVE.

BRG created to help with representation issues, mid 2021 RT said "we've done enough for the queer community" PRIDE stream events still mostly Cis/Het talents

Mistreatment of minorities in RT ignored "“the company is going through a lot right now just leave it alone"

Unpaid for VO work during tenure at RT, May Marigold and RWBY Fairy Tales included.

Handful of good people. Bad Company.

#Rooster Teeth #RT #AH #RTAH #Achievement Hunter

9K notes · View notes

traumasurvivors · 9 months

Text

Here's a link to a blog post on my personal website on a topic that I think is very important.

I've also put it below the read more for people that don't like external links.

When it comes to healing from trauma, there are a lot of emotions an individual may feel. One of these emotions is anger. Anger is one of the emotions I see invalidated the most. For example, I’ve been told that being angry is “letting the person who hurt me win.” I’ve been told that I’m only hurting myself with my anger and that it’s holding me back from healing. All of these assumptions were wrong.

Anger is often viewed as a bad thing because it can drive a lot of unpleasant behaviours but it can be used for good. While anger can hurt you and others, it doesn’t have to. There is a difference between destructive anger and constructive anger. Destructive anger is often expressed in a way that causes harm to yourself or others whereas constructive anger can be used to better understand your situation and figure out your needs. Constructive anger can be a way to show respect for yourself.

For example, if you’re in a situation with a friend where they do something that makes you angry (for example: cancelling plans, forgetting an important date, etc), constructive anger may involve you stepping away from the situation to figure out the cause of your anger (for example: you feel their actions imply you’re not important to them) so that you can then sit down with your friend and communicate in a calm manner. This may allow your relationship to grow and build with a better understanding of each other. Destructive anger in this situation may involve you yelling at your friend and insulting them, which will likely damage or destroy the relationship. If the hurt your friend has caused makes you want to re-evaluate your friendship, this is valid and there are still constructive ways to end a friendship that will cause the least amount of hurt for all involved. It is also important to note that ignoring the anger and bottling up is likely to cause a bigger blow up down the line or cause “overreactions” to other circumstances.

If anger is bottled up, it can end up coming out unintentionally. You might find you’re getting much angrier at everyday annoyances and disagreements than you might think reasonable. People might push you away or respond badly to your anger, because they feel they do not deserve it - and looking back later, you might feel they don’t deserve it, either. However, because of the anger you’re holding back, you can’t see that in the moment. This is why it is important to think and consider your anger, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you. I have found asking questions of myself to analyze my anger can help, such as in an anger inventory like this one.

While many people see anger as an emotion that causes people to lash out and destroy things, anger can also help to motivate people to create new things. Marches to “Take back the night”, or for “gay pride” have much of their motivation based in anger at injustice and oppression. New laws to better protect survivors of domestic abuse or otherwise help society are often driven by people feeling a huge amount of anger. Properly harnessed, anger can help to take action to change things for the better.

On a more personal level, anger can also be a motivator to improve one’s own life. Many people have used the anger they felt at those who put them down as a motivation toward success. That success might be completing schooling, winning an international athletic competition or publishing a novel. One thing all of those have in common is that they are rarely possible to do with only a little time or a little effort. They are time-consuming tasks which usually require months if not years of work. They can be easy to give up on without motivation - and for many, anger is a big help to keeping that motivation.

It took me years to feel anger. For the first while, I felt ashamed, guilty and like I deserved the abuse I’d endured. Feeling angry at the people responsible for this was a step in my healing. I began putting the blame on those responsible and not myself. I was realizing that I did not deserve to be treated in the harmful ways that I was. This was huge to me as someone that had spent years thinking I deserved my trauma and as a result, future trauma and abuse as well.

There were instances where my anger was destructive, mostly to myself. I engaged in self-harm as a way to vent my anger and it also caused problems in my relationship at the time because I held my anger in and would get really frustrated and project my anger onto my relationship which was not fair to my partner.

Over the years, I’ve learned to cope with my anger more efficiently. What works for someone is largely dependent on them and their needs. For me, it was a literal punching bag to vent out frustrations and journaling. It was sitting down with my anger and treating it like a friend trying to protect me (because it was in a way). It was listening to it and finding the cause. My true anger came from those who hurt me, and in a way, took a part of me. My anger largely came from grief and betrayal. Understanding where it came from did not make it disappear, but it did offer me perspective and allow me to better manage it.

For some, anger is a cover up for other emotions. It becomes a defense mechanism against feeling the sadness, hurt and other emotions that a person does not want to feel. The anger is just the first layer and understanding where that anger comes from, and that the anger is a cover up is a great step in moving beyond it. Feeling the emotions beneath it will play a big part in moving beyond the anger.

Anger is a valid and understandable emotion when it comes to healing from trauma, even if your trauma does not have a specific person to blame (natural disasters and death of a loved one are examples). If the person who hurt you did not mean to or did not know better (like another child), anger is still a valid emotion. You’ve been hurt and you should not have been and it is reasonable to feel angry at this.

For a lot of us, anger plays a part in our healing. And that’s okay! You’re allowed to feel angry. Anger becomes an issue when you allow it to consume you and hurt you or others. The feeling itself is not inherently bad, and it can actually be a good thing. Your anger can be used to help you. It’s what you do with your anger that decides whether it’s helpful to you or not. When I was first told that my anger was “letting the other person win,” I believed that and felt invalidated. I have since realized that my anger has been an important part in understanding my pain and my needs. My anger is not letting someone else win, but letting me win, by helping me to heal.

#my blog posts #i am going to be gradually re-posting my posts #with text under a read more #to make them more accessible to people that don't like external links #anger

477 notes · View notes

babydollmarauders · 10 months

Text

FIGHT — JACK HUGHES

part of the el!hughes au

summary: y/n (lovie) and jack get into their biggest fight yet

warnings: fighting, mention of bad parents (lovie’s)

my head slumps on the back of the couch as Eleanor’s cries pierce my eardrums.

“El, baby, c’mon.” i groan out.

my recently turned one year old is sprawled out on the apartment floor, throwing a fit over something of which i have no idea.

i tried to pick her up, but she just kept pushing my hands away, screaming ‘mama! no! mama, no! no, mama!’

it’s been two weeks of this, and i have a sneaking suspicion that her constant sour mood has been all because of the particular absence of her favorite person. Jack.

it’s been two weeks of early wake-ups and late nights. two weeks of El having meltdowns if i mess up even one thing, like giving her cheetos in a bowl instead of her snack cup, or suggesting Moana instead of watching Lilo & Stitch for the billionth time, or reading her the wrong book at bed time. it’s been two weeks of sleep regression, no naps, and her throwing her food every chance she gets. two weeks of her screaming if i try and leave the room, but screaming if i try and pick her up as well. two weeks of bags under my eyes, messy buns because my hair is horribly greasy, and surviving purely on coffee.

i’m tired. my feet hurt because every time i sit, El screams at me. my head hurts from her screaming. and now my stomach cramps because i, of course, both started my period, and have not had a moment to eat all day. i’ve broken down in tears nearly every night once i finally get El to sleep, because i don’t know how much more of this i can take.

tears well up in my eyes at this very moment, and it takes everything in me to hold back my own screams. not necessarily directed at my daughter, but just in frustration. i can’t think clearly. it’s nearing midnight and i’ve tried everything to get her to sleep, but she just keeps fighting it.

i know she’s tired, just like i am. she’s been up since five in the morning, which means so have i.

“i give up.” i cry out, burying my face in my hands, weeping into them in frustration and exhaustion. “i get it, El. you want your father. i know. please, i know.”

El’s cries pause and i peek through my fingers to see her watching me with a tilted head, before she bursts back into tears.

i steel my spine, wiping my own tears, and strengthening myself. i rise from the couch, scooping my daughter up, despite her smacks to my chest and pulls on my now-falling-out bun, and shuffle towards her bedroom.

going for the last ditch effort, i grab the hidden pacifier in her top dresser drawer, and pop it into her mouth before turning on the white noise machine in the corner and placing her in her crib.

i gaze down at her, watching as she yawns, tears still slipping from her eyes. her eyelids flutter closed before she pries them back open and stares back at me.

“Eleanor Elizabeth Hughes, you have to sleep.” i scold in a whisper.

retreating from the room, closing the door and listening for her wails; i nearly cry in relief when nothing comes. nothing but silence and the sound of the white noise.

my feet pad across the wooden floors as i walk to the kitchen, keeping an ear out for El’s possible whines. too drained to make myself anything sustainable, i settle for a yogurt cup and a cheese stick. bringing my snacks with me into Jack and i’s bedroom, i settle under the blankets.

i have no energy to put into paying attention to a show or movie, and not nearly enough to read a book; so i sit in silence, staring at the wall as i eat.

placing the now empty yogurt cup on my nightstand, i pick at the cheese stick, lost in thought.

i’m struggling.

i feel like a single parent half the time.

i’m not sure how actual single parents do it. the ones who have to work and take care of their children. because parenting in and of itself is a full time job.

i know it’s not fair of me to think so little of myself, but i can’t help feeling like a horrible mother. she never wants me anymore; only ever yearning for Jack.

and i get it. i yearn for him too when he’s gone.

but can’t she be happy with me?

i miss the sound of the front door shutting; too deep in my own head. too far gone in my own thoughts.

but i do hear the not-so-hushed whispers of my husband and his brother as they venture farther into the apartment.

i hear the ‘goodnight.’ from Luke before his bedroom door shuts. i hear the nursery door opening, the white noise from the room getting louder. and then a few minutes later, i hear the nursery door click shut and the sound of my husbands footsteps getting closer down the hall before our bedroom door opens.

my cheese stick is long gone, and my fingers now settle for playing with each other. my nails picking at the others as i still sit in a catatonic state of exhaustion; staring at the wall in front of me.

Jack lets out a breath of surprise when he notices i’m awake in the dim lighting of the bedside lamp.

“hey, lovie.” he leans down, his fists pressing down on the mattress top, and lays a swift kiss on my cheek before rising back up to his full height.

i glance over as he throws Eleanor’s pacifier onto his nightstand.

“i thought we agreed no more pacifiers when she turned one? she hasn’t had one in the past month.” he huffs, stripping his shirt off and throwing it towards the hamper in the corner of the bedroom, narrowly missing by an inch. he eyes the shirt for a millisecond before shrugging and repeating the process with his pants, this time making it in the hamper.

“yeah, well, you weren’t here to attend to her screams and i was.” i retort.

“so you resorted to the paci?” he questions, pulling a pair of flannel pajama pants out of his dresser drawer.

“stop mom-shaming me.” i snap, scooting down and flopping onto my side, my back facing Jack.

“lovie.” he sighs. the bed dips as he sits behind me. “that’s not what i was doing.”

“yes. you were.” i accuse. “you’re saying i’m a bad mom for giving my daughter what she needed in order to fall asleep.”

i turn in the bed to look up at him and he parts his lips to speak, but i keep going.

“but you weren’t here, Jack. you didn’t hear her cries, or have to try every trick in the book to calm her down. you weren’t awake with her for nineteen hours with no nap only to still have her fight bed time. so, yes, i resorted to the pacifier. and ya know what? it worked.”

“i get that you’re in a bad mood, but why are you taking it out on me? i wasn’t even here for you to get angry at me.” he remarks.

“i’m not.” i deny, closing my eyes and hoping he’ll take it as a sign to just let me sleep.

“you are.” he grunts. “and it makes me feel like i’m the bad guy for doing my job.”

“well, i wouldn't have to do this all alone if it weren't for your fucking job.” i know as soon as i say it that my words were uncalled for. but, before i can take them back, Jack stands from the bed, making my eyes fly open to look at him.

“do i not help when i’m home? i’m so sorry that me providing for our family is so hard for you.” he sneers. his sarcasm is not appreciated, and i sit up in the bed in anger. “i’m so sorry that you have to be a mother, while i’m gone making money so that you don’t have to work.”

i shuffle onto my knees on the bed, glaring daggers at my husband.

“when have i ever complained about being a mother? and when have i ever said that i don’t want to work? i never asked to stay at home! but it’s what i do, because not both of us can work without putting El in daycare. which you said you didn’t want to do.”

my finger juts at my chest before poking his. my words harsh in delivery, but quiet in attempt to not disturb the sleeping baby down the hall.

“i never once complained about being a mother. i love her.” i continue.

“are you implying that i don’t love her?” Jack fumes.

“i never said that!” i cry. “you’re putting words into my mouth!”

“i’m just trying to provide for us!” our attempted quiet is long forgotten now, and i can only hope that the white noise in El’s room is enough to mask our argument.

“you think i don’t know that?” i exclaim, he opens his mouth but i don’t let him get a word in. “i’m just saying that you don’t understand how exhausting it is being a single parent half the fucking hockey season! you leave and play games and go out to fucking bars to celebrate wins and i stay here and take care of our daughter, who for the past two weeks, only wanted you!”

Jack throws his hands up in the air, huffing in anger.

“well, i can’t help that! i get that it’s hard, but you’d think you’d be a bit more grateful. it’s part of my job to leave, y/n!”

of everything he’s said, it’s those words that cut me the deepest. and what hurts the most, as small as it may seem, is that within all of our fights, big or small, throughout our entire six years together, never once has he called me by my name while we fought.

it’s always ‘lovie’.

but suddenly, i’m ‘y/n’.

i lower myself onto my butt on the mattress. tears are streaming down my cheeks and i try to wipe them away before Jack can see them.

“now you’re gonna cry?” he lowers himself onto the bed and i push myself off of it in order to gain distance, now standing a couple feet away.

“i quit.” my voice is quiet and surrendered, my words sheltered. i watch as his face drops, lips parting in shock.

“what?” he mumbles, his eyes softening.

i shake my head, letting my tears flow freely now as i round the bed and i head toward the cracked open door.

“where are you going?” he questions, his tone still holding a dash of anger.

“to sleep in Luke’s room.” i reply. he calls after me but his words fall on deaf ears.

i need space.

i don’t bother knocking on Luke’s door, opening it to find him just now sitting down in bed, his hair wet and leftover steam drifting from his en-suite bathroom.

his head snaps over to the door as i close it, and at the sight of my tears, he pats the bed beside him.

a sob racks my chest as i crawl into bed with the boy i look at as a brother. he pulls me into his side, no words spoken between us as he rubs a hand over my hair, letting me cry into his chest and soak his plain white t-shirt.

a muffled cry escapes my lips and he squeezes me tighter, pressing a kiss to my scalp. nothing needs to be said, no words needed to be shared, just quiet shushes and his hand rubbing up and down my back, the other still holding my head tight to his chest in grounding.

i’m not sure how long passes before i cry myself to sleep, Jack’s words echoing on a loop inside my head.

‘you’d think you’d be a bit more grateful.’

***

i’m unsure what time it is when i awake, but Luke is gone from the bed, and the sun peeks through the bedroom window.

i know Luke and Jack have the day off, so if Luke is already up, then i must have slept in later than i usually do.

despite the apparent long sleep, i don’t feel as well rested as i should. my eyes flutter shut for a few moments, but at the sound of the familiar squeal of excitement from my daughter, drifting in through the crack in the door, my eyes fly back open.

i kick my legs free from the tangle of blankets and throw them over the side of the bed, peeling my tired body up off the mattress. i rub my eyes as i walk over to Luke’s bathroom, ignoring the mess amongst the counter and looking in the mirror.

my eyes are still red and puffy from crying, and i turn on the faucet, cupping my hands under the cold running water and splashing it on my face before drying it with the hand towel that’s thrown haphazardly on the counter.

exiting the bathroom and bedroom, i’m immediately met with the sight of El’s smiling face bounding down the hall. her chubby little legs wobble as she runs.

“mama! dada!” she squeals, motioning behind her. a grin overtakes my lips at her excitement.

“yeah? is dada home?” i ask with a laugh as she runs smack into my legs, reaching up with grabby hands.

my heart melts in my chest. for the first time in two weeks, she wants me.

“mama! dada!” she repeats as i hoist her up, lifting her above my head and rejoicing in her giggles.

my eyes are all too soon drawn to my husband at the end of the hall. he stands leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, a faint smile on his lips while my own falls at the sight of him.

our fight replays in my mind; flashes of his red face and his defensive stance. echoes of his harsh tone and his cruel words.

Jack approaches us, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips, but i shift my face, his lips landing on my cheek instead. pulling back, his face falls, hurt shining in his eyes. it hurts me to see him upset, but i can’t bring myself to feel too bad, as i, too, am hurting.

i maneuver around him, padding down the hallway with El in my arms, making my way to the open layout of the living room and kitchen.

Luke is sat on the couch, eyes on his phone while Lilo & Stitch plays on the tv, and i flop down beside him. El crawls into his lap, pushing his phone out of the way and pushing her smiling face into his line of sight. i watch his eyes light up, sliding his phone into his pocket and tickling her sides.

a laugh escapes my lips as he lifts El upside down in front of his face, making her giggle contagiously. but once again, my lips fall back straight as Jack enters the room again.

the day continues like this, living amicably with Jack, but not happily. as the day goes on, the more i reflect on our fight the night prior, and the worse i feel. i was in the wrong. i knew that last night and i know it now.

i know leaving El is hard for him, just as taking care of her without him is hard for me. but my guilt doesn’t erase his words.

i know he didn’t mean it, just as he knows that i didn’t mean mine, but it still hurts. he cut deep. he accused me of being ungrateful, the very same thing he knows my parents called me when i told them i was moving out.

‘you’re so ungrateful. we offered you to keep living with us even after your graduation, and you’d rather move out with your unstable little boyfriend than live with the people who raised you. well, don’t come crawling back to us, we don’t take ungrateful children.’

a lump grows in my throat as i compare the fights. it’s nine at night and Jack is in El’s room, putting her to sleep, Luke long having retired to his own bedroom, leaving me alone on the couch. my knees are pulled up to my chest, my arms hugging them tight, as tears stream down my cheeks.

a small part of me tells me i should apologize. i know if i do, he will too. he already seems to want to move past it.

but the larger part of me says to wait. to let him apologize to me. to make him acknowledge that we fought. instead of brushing past it like it never happened.

Jack strides into the living room, child free, and it’s the first time we’ve really been alone together all day.

i avoid his gaze, rather wiping my tears and averting my eyes to the television, which still plays the credits of The Little Mermaid from our before bedtime movie.

he sighs, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch. his hand reaches out to graze my leg and i flinch at the soft touch. the larger part of me wins and i rise from the couch, stalking off to our bedroom and away from him.

i quickly change into my pajamas, hoping to be out of the bedroom before he comes in, but i’m not so lucky.

he enters the room as i’m pulling my t-shirt over my head. my t-shirt. not his. he notices this change quickly and shakes his head.

he stands silently, his back leaning against the now closed door as i pull on sweatpants, watching my every move.

i move to the en-suite bathroom when i’m done. making quick work of washing my face and brushing my teeth. when i finally finish with my nightly routine, i head back out to the still blocked bedroom door.

Jack eyes me up and down, and a quick wetting of his lips tells me he’s horny, but i laugh inside at the thought.

does me angry and upset, turn him on? does he really think he has any chance of getting lucky tonight when he hasn’t even apologized?

“can you move?” i huff, crossing my arms.

“where are you going now?” he questions, shaking his head.

“Luke’s room. again.”

“you know we have a bed, right? the one you were in last night before you left me alone in here.” his words twist my heart, but i stand my ground.

“oh, you mean the same bed i was sitting in when you implied that i’m ungrateful and selfish?” i mock, tilting my head.

“lovie.” his tone is defensive enough to let me know that he doesn’t plan on apologizing tonight, so rather than waiting and hoping for Jack to move, i push him aside lightly with my shoulder and slip through the door.

i knock lightly on Luke’s door and it doesn’t take long for him to open it, letting me slip through into the room.

“you guys are still fighting?” Luke asks, shutting the door and walking over to sit on his bed.

“i promise, this is the last time i’ll sleep in your room. if we’re still fighting tomorrow night, i’ll sleep on the couch.” i assure him, crawling up the bed and laying on my side, facing him.

“i don’t have a problem with you sleeping in here, lovie.” he sighs, laying down on his side so that we lay face to face. “i’ve just never seen you guys fight like this, ya know? you guys are usually so in love, it just scares me to see you fight. i want the best for both of you.”

my eyes soften and i raise my hand, running it softly through Luke’s unruly curls.

“Lukey, i’m still madly in love with your brother. one fight isn’t gonna change that.” i tell him. “he said some things that hurt me. i said things that i’m sure hurt him too. but we’ll get through this. we love each other.”

i speak with assurance, but at this point, i’m not sure if i’m reassuring Luke, or myself.

“you should go to sleep, bubs. you have practice in the morning.” i press a kiss to Luke’s forehead before he turns his bedside lamp off and flops down on his side, his back now facing me.

i follow suit, my back facing Luke as i close my eyes and let myself drift to sleep.

***

i’m woken up by little hands smacking my cheeks, immediately followed by the sound of my husbands whispers.

“oh no, El, we don’t smack mommy. we’re gentle.” he tells her softly, and soon after, i feel her open mouth press against my cheek; her version of a kiss.

my eyes flutter open and i’m met by the smiling face of my daughter. she’s held hovering above me by Jack, who seems worried for my reaction.

“hi, baby!” i coo, a smile stretching over my lips as i take her from him. “good morning, beautiful!”

“mama!” she cheers, followed by a steady stream of babbling.

“she woke up a couple hours ago. she was looking for you.” Jack tells me. “i just changed her diaper, and she already ate breakfast, but i noticed she’s been chewing on everything this morning, so i threw a couple of her teething toys in the freezer and she’ll probably want a popsicle soon to sooth her gums.”

i look up at him and nod, acknowledging that i heard him, before i sit up and lay El down on the bed, tickling her tummy and listening to her joyous giggles fill the room.

“Luke and i are off to practice, we’re running late.” he runs his hand over El’s hair, leaning down and kissing her forehead before turning to look at me again. “Luke said he wants to take El to the park after we get back. he said for me to ask you if you can have her dressed and her diaper bag ready for when he and i get back.”

“yeah, i can do that.” i reply and he nods, pushing off the bed and laying a kiss on my own forehead before he leaves the room.

i heave out a sigh, looking down at El, who’s already looking up at me.

“you wanna go take a shower with mommy?” i baby talk, pasting a smile back on my face. she smiles right back, grabbing at my shirt. “yeah, you do. you love showers, don’t you? my little water baby.”

El is all dressed and ready to go when Jack and Luke arrive home, while i stick the last snack into her diaper bag.

“hey, lovie.” Luke chimes, throwing an arm around my shoulder and squeezing my head into his chest. “she ready?”

“mhm! she should be good to go.” i confirm as i push out of his hold, stuffing the bag into his arms instead. “you have the stroller, right?”

“yeah, i’m taking Jack’s car and it’s already in the trunk.” he confirms, slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder and scooping his niece up from where she was already staring up at him by his legs.

“alright, say bye-bye to mommy and daddy!” Luke sings out, waving to us. El copies him, waving her entire arm about in order to wave goodbye, and with that, they’re out the door; leaving Jack and i in silence.

i busy myself by picking up the toys strewn about the living room floor, while Jack unloads the dishwasher. but tension lingers in the air.

maybe i should just apologize.

i hate this feeling.

i hate not being cuddled up with him right now.

we usually spend any El free hours curled up in our bed. napping, watching a movie, talking, or just taking part in general bedroom activities.

but instead, we’re across the room from each other, doing daily household chores and trying hard to avoid the screaming silence between us.

i drop a barbie into the toy box and stand up straight, looking towards my husband, who’s already staring at me with gentle eyes.

“i’m sorry.” i sigh, squeezing my eyes shut, holding my hands to my face. “i hate fighting.”

his hurried footsteps click against the wooden floors, stopping when he gets in front of me. his hands come up to mine, delicately pulling them away from my face before his arms encircle my waist.

“i hate it too.” he whispers, and i know his words hold a double meaning. he hates fighting and he hates leaving.

“i shouldn’t have said the things that i did. i shouldn’t have taken my bad mood out on you.” i let my head bob forward, my forehead laying against his chest. “i was tired, and i was angry at the situation, but not at you. never at you. you’re providing for our family, and i’m so glad that you get to do that by doing something you love.”

he kisses the top of my head, his lips lingering on my scalp.

“i’m sorry too.” he mumbles against me.

“i’m sorry for making it seem like i was mom-shaming you, i should’ve chosen my words more carefully. i’m sorry for making you feel bad. i’m sorry for accusing you of saying i don’t love her, i know that’s not what you were saying. and most of all, i’m sorry for implying that you were ungrateful. you’re not. i know you’re not. i should’ve never implied that you were.

“you’re an amazing mom, lovie. the best i could’ve ever hoped for El. i should’ve been more understanding about how hard it is for you to take care of her alone while i’m gone.”

i peer up at him, my chin still resting on his chest, and give him a pointed look.

“and i’m sorry for not calling you ‘lovie’.” he huffs out through a laugh. the corners of my mouth quirk up and i pull his head down to push our lips together.

my whole body melts even further into his, finally at peace for the first time in over two weeks.

#el!hughes au #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #nhl fic #nhl blurb #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s writings <3

1K notes · View notes

sunderingstars · 4 months

Text

.𖥔 ݁ 🪐˖ slight ohshc manga spoilers .𖥔 ݁ 🪐˖

i’ve been rereading the ohshc manga lately and i always come back to how tamaki is genuinely one of the sweetest, kindest people i’ve seen in fiction.

it’s perfectly reasonable to assume he would become cold or callous after everything he’s been through (or at least develop some kind of resentment), but the series makes a point to show how he doesn’t harbor ill will towards anyone who’s hurt him. while this can be a flaw — causing him to quickly forgive people he shouldn’t — it does a good job at revealing a lack of ulterior motives. he is that kind. he’s so kind that others have a hard time wrapping their head around it. between the politics and the families and the money, he’s managed to not only keep his humanity, but pass a little of it on to everyone he meets.

you start the series thinking he’s some over-inflated, egotistical rich kid, but you end it with the understanding that he is always, always putting others’ needs before his own. the times he meddles in business he shouldn’t? the times he seems egotistical or condescending? the times he over-inflates his self-importance? it’s all genuine. it’s all real. his heart is so big it begins to bleed into the world around him, bleed so heavily you can’t help but mistake it for something else — greed, ego, dramatics — because it’s impossible a human being could carry so much love.

but he does. despite being treated horribly by his own family, despite being seen by most as a shallow, dense idiot, he doesn’t just have a heart — he is one. to stop loving, to stop caring, would mean to stop beating, to deny his own existence. it simply isn’t possible.

at the end of the day, so many issues in the series could only be resolved by him. only someone with a blindingly stupid amount of compassion would be able to reach his hands into every corner of the story and make a difference. only tamaki suoh could bring the club together, only tamaki suoh could reconcile with his grandmother, and only tamaki suoh could make the lives of everyone around him brighter, not by virtue of his existence, but by the sheer effort he puts into loving everyone he meets. only tamaki suoh could find a way to be kind despite having every reason not to.

#⌞ ✧ super.nova ⌝#⌞ ༄ cosmic.wind: other ⌝#he has so much love and so much stupid in there #and i love him #if we ever have to eat the rich i am sparing him and that’s that #ohshc #tamaki suoh #ohshc tamaki #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #ohshc manga #tamaki ohshc

114 notes · View notes

arent-i-the-fairest · 2 years

Text

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟐)

vil is seething over the fact that you and neige have become so close. but when he finds out you have no romantic feelings for the neige and are only into mature guys like himself, he becomes smug and doubles down on showing off.

part one here!

author’s note : desperate vil p2 is here! also, thank you to the anon who provided the plot! lovely idea!

“don’t you think neige and trickster’s blossoming friendship is just so lovely to see, roi du poison?”

vil doesn’t reply, but no. no he doesn’t. at all. he wishes he never invited you to that photoshoot so that none of this (= you and neige getting closer) would’ve ever happened.

he’s been taking L after L, and this might just be the biggest one— and of course it’s from neige of all people. but is he really surprised at this point? (no)

vil’s obviously really hating this, but y’know who isn’t?

epel. the boy is thriving seeing him mad, and plans to do something that’ll hopefully tip him over. he needs some revenge for all the work vil’s made him do.

lunch with the pomefiore trio is always a good time. today is not particularly the best example of that.. for you, at least. it’s a wonderful one for vil.

“prefect, are you in love with neige?” epel asks in a soft, innocent voice.

rook is looking at vil, vil is looking at you (very intently, might i add), and you’re looking at epel. you’re staring at him like he’s insane. he just smiles a little wider and bats his eyelashes as he waits for your response.

“you’ve got to be kidding. neige?? he’s like, practically a baby!” you sputter.

epel raises an eyebrow. “isn’t he the same age as you? or, no, was he older or younger? whatever, either way, you’re super close in age, y’know.”

“i didn’t mean age-wise. he goes to rsa, so obviously we’re going to be close in age. i’m talking about personality, and just the way he carries himself. he’s so cutesy and bubbly and stuff, and as lovely as it is, that’s just not the type of person i want to date.” you explain.

“fair. but that’s got me wondering, what is your type?” epel asks.

“mature dudes. more serious, responsible, smart ones, i suppose. no offense to neige. he’s just so cute, i can only see him as my little brother. so there’s no chance i’d fall for him.” vil’s hands fly up to his mouth to cover his grin.

hearing you say what you did at lunch yesterday was among one of the best things vil’s ever experienced. to know you haven’t fallen for neige’s charm like everyone else seems to have makes his heart swell. and his ego inflate.

he fits your tastes perfectly, does he not?

the pomefiore trio sat in vil’s room. “well, roi du poison? do you think you are the one trickster loves?”

vil scoffs at the question, throwing his hair over his shoulder. “obviously. i’m the only one who fits their interest.”

“but doesn’t leona exist? i mean—” epel slaps a hand over his mouth.

“him? tell me, do you think of sleeping all day, not attending classes, and slacking off on dorm duties as mature?”

“oh! oh! what about roi des roses?” rook asks, sitting up.

“.. i don’t appreciate the two of you thinking there could be someone as good as me. but riddle? i suppose he could be a possibility— if he didn’t so frequently have temper tantrums, that is.” he laughs. “but enough of these questions.”

“—just one more!” rook exclaims.

vil sighs. “what is it?”

“how do you plan on getting trickster to confess?”

“accentuating my maturity, of course. i would say i don’t have to put in any more effort than i already am, but it never hurts to shine a little extra.”

“may i assist you in earning thei—”

“no.”

you and neige were sitting together, and vil decided he’d try and intervene somehow.

“ooh, it’s vil!” neige points towards him, and you give him a smile. “vil, hey! what brings you here?”

“you two seem to be enjoying yourselves, i simply wanted to know if i could join.” you nod, patting the empty space beside you.

“i’ve been meaning to catch up with you anyways, vi! how’ve you been?”

“busy, as always— having to do my job and leading pomefiore at the same time. it’s nothing i can’t handle though.” he looks at you out of the corner of his eye, searching for any kind of admiration on your face.

“wow,” neige marvels. “it’s incredible how well he can take care of things, isn’t it, prefect?”

you nod. “it’s really respectable!”

vil’s face reddens a bit, and he laughs. “so you’ve realized.”

new day, new problem. you just needed to buy some groceries, but you forgot to bring the most important thing when you go shopping.

it doesn’t take long for vil to realize you’ve forgotten your wallet. all it takes is one look at you digging in every pocket you have and your slightly panicked face. of course, he takes the opportunity to try impressing you.

“how clumsy of you to forget to bring essentials out with you, prefect.”

“i didn’t forget it, i swear i have it on me somewhe—” “no worries, i’ll pay for you.”

you look up at him. “is it really alright?” he nods as he hands the money to sam, who whistles. “look at you being quite the gentleman, little imp. appreciate the purchase!”

the bell at the top of the door jingled as you two exited the mystery store.

“thanks so much for paying, vil. i can’t help but feel embarrassed though, hehe.” you fumble around with the bags.

“it’s beyond me how forgetful you are sometimes,” he sighs. “though, i suppose you can just call me if you ever forget again. i’m always open to helping you.”

“you’re too generous.” you smile.

paying for your groceries wasn’t the last time vil acted like this towards you. far from it. he’s been stepping up and doing things for you, showing off how responsible he is, the list goes on.

during physical education, you and epel sit together in the field, taking a break from the harsh activities.

“i don’t know about you, but i think vil’s been acting kinda funny,” you confess before falling back on the prickly grass. “or maybe he isn’t and i’m imagining things.”

epel snorts. “no, he totally is. it’s cause..” you look expectantly at him. “nevermind. i don’t know why.” he’d rather not have vil after him for outing his plans. you just shrug it off.

“well anyways, i find it cute. scratch that, i find him cute. as in, attractive cute.”

“ew. keep it to yourself.”

#hdhfhdh imagining vil twirling his hair everytime you notice how great and mature he his #gn reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #vil x reader

1K notes · View notes

futbol16 · 1 year

Text

I’m Not Shy • Alexia Putellas

Request: Reader teasingly saying something about Alexia during an interview making Alexia turn really shy next to her?

Word count: 773

Alexia really tries to stay composed and not show the effect your words have on her but as you keep praising her in the post match interview the two of you are giving, she wonders for just how long she’ll be able to fight off a grin.

Originally, it was you who was approached to do the interview but when you spotted Alexia you pulled the brunette next to you, insisting that your captain needed to make an appearance.

The man who was interviewing you keeps trying to question you about the game you just had and he's throwing compliment after compliment at you. You, however, redirected the topic to Alexia each and every time. Other than not being in the mood to give an interview, you were also taking great joy in the growing blush on the midfielder’s cheeks.

The brunette feels a smile tug at her lips as she hears you deflect another question, instead turning to her.

“Alexia had a pretty good goal at the end, no?” the somewhat teasing tone in your voice has the midfielder raising her eyebrows.

“It was okay, but really it was a team effort-” she goes to continue but you cut her off as you speak to the camera, adamant on putting the spotlight on Alexia.

“No, don’t downplay it, it was amazing! A last minute goal to bag a win against Atlético” you speak proudly, your hand taking its place on the small of her back as she blushes furiously. She’s been congratulated on her football many times but your comments and praises meant so much more to her and made her feel all fuzzy and her mouth go dry, she’s left to listen to the interview in silence.

“There’s a reason she’s called La Reina” is what has her looking down shyly and she bites the inside of her cheek to not give you the heart eyes in front of the cameras.

As the interview comes to an end the man gives a final applaud for your win and he looks you over, a look in his eyes that has you feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. Alexia is quick to notice and furrows her eyebrows as he finally says his last words.

“You were amazing on the field tonight” he’s looking at you intensely, only turning to acknowledge the brunette when you subtly raise an eyebrow at his ogling. “All of you were amazing”

A teasing smirk makes its way onto your face and Alexia knows whatever you’re about to say will not end well, not for the interviewr and not for her.

“She’ll be even better somewhere else tonight” you grin suggestively, the comment definitely a straight forward hint to the man in front of you that you were not interested in him, but more the woman next to you. He coughs in what can only be identified as shock while Alexia’s eyes widen, blush deepening even more if it was possible.

Her hand goes to cup the back of your neck and she nervously looks towards the corridor, shiftin her weight from one foot to the other, her face is on fire.

With an arm around her waist you take your leave and walk down the hallway until you’re finally out of sight of the cameras and only then does Alexia pull you into her, her back against the wall as she searches your eyes.

Shes's left rather confused when a wide smile takes over your expression. “What?”

“I like shy Ale” a sweet giggle escapes your mouth as she blushes again and drops her head to your shoulder.

“I’m not shy!” she attempts to protest, but as you keep poking fun at her she gives in with a roll of her eyes, her arms around your neck tightening as she pulls you flush to her body.

“It’s cute Ale” you murmur thinking you might’ve offended her in some way but she only gives you a soft smile as she hums at your words.

“Well you know what I’ve been wanting to do the whole interview?” you know it’s a rhetorical question but you give her a fake questioning look, knowing exactly what’s about to come. “I wanted to kiss you”

The whisper barely comes out of her mouth before you’re crashing your lips on hers in a passionate yet soft kiss, your knees almost giving out when Alexia pulls you impossibly closer. The two of you stand in the corridor of the stadium pressed up against the wall, bodies flush against each other as you kiss like there’s no tomorrow, not worrying about anyone possibly catching the two of you.

#alexia putellas imagine #woso imagine #futbol16 #woso x reader

590 notes · View notes

notsoattractivearenti · 1 year

Text

It's Time to Leave (Mason Mount x Reader)

Song Inspo: Stay - Why Don't We (Listening to the song while reading this fic is highly recommended 😊)

WC: 1.5K

Warnings: Curse words, angst

A/N: Made a poll about who to write this fic for and Mason got the most votes! Should've finished 2 weeks ago but I didn't have the time lol but here it is 😉 Special thanks to @ariddletobesolved for proofreading! This fic is an one-shot, so there's not gonna be a 2nd part. Please enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts through replies/reblogs/asks 💗 Feedbacks are highly appreciated!

---

“I just wish things could be like they used to

But they never will, now I see right through you

Wish you could tell me all the ways that I miss you

Baby, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish you'd

Stay”

---

“Y/N, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I can’t be the only one who’s invested in our relationship. It’s supposed to work both ways, you know? Well it used to be like that. But now-“

“Excuse me!? Why the fuck would you even think that way, Mason? I’m not invested in us? Why do you think I stayed for all these years?”

“You’ve changed, Y/N! You’ve fucking changed! Don’t you realise that? Do you think I’m too dumb to notice that?? I’m tired of being the one who cares so much when you don’t give a shit about me anymore!” He yelled, and you could see he was already tearing up.

From the first time you met him, he had never yelled at you. He has always been a calm, gentle, and loving person. No matter how upset he could be, he always handled things in a peaceful manner. You loved that about him, because he was different from the other guys you’ve previously dated. You felt like he was the one you can always count on, who will never let you down. He has a very positive attitude and big, warm personality, the moment you laid your eyes on Mason you were instantly drawn to him.

But today he showed you the side of him you have never seen before. You could clearly see he was filled with disappointment, resentment, anger, and sadness. You just came to a realisation that you have hurt him deeply. You were aware that your feelings toward him have changed, but you were in denial and tried to ignore that because you didn’t know how to tell him. You were afraid that if you broke up with him, you would make the biggest mistake in your life. But what you didn’t notice is that your behaviour had changed as well, you thought he would never notice – but knowing how in love with you he was, and that he’d known you all too well, of course he did.

“I was always there when you needed me, and I know for sure you fucking knew. I put a lot of effort into making our relationship last because I thought you were my forever.” He scoffed, pausing for a bit, shaking his head in something like disbelief. “Back then, we were so in love, we had so much fun together. But lately you seem like you have given up on us… What could possibly go wrong with us, Y/N?” His bloodshot eyes were now on you. Gone was the warmth that he used to reserve for you. “Have I done something to make you feel like I’m not worthy of your love anymore?” His voice was shaky as he tried to control himself from exploding, but his overflowing emotions were difficult to hide.

You froze for a minute, unable to think of anything to say. It’s like your brain suddenly couldn’t function. There was a pang in your chest that felt so heavy, and your hands started shaking. You were trying to gather yourself to find the right words to express how you feel about him.

“Mason… I-” This will hurt, you thought before continuing, “I’m sorry. The truth is… My feelings have not been the same. I don’t know why, how or when, but it is what it is.” You sighed, “I… I don’t love you anymore.”

He bit his lip and started breathing heavily, seemingly not ready to hear you say those last five words.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you that, but I just didn’t know how. I swear, it’s not you. But I feel like there’s something lacking within our relationship. I ju-”

“I gave you everything I could give you, Y/N. Everything. I poured my heart and soul into you, us. Wasn’t that enough for you?”

Your eyes widened, your jaw just dropped. You couldn’t believe what you just heard.

Mason took a deep breath, “I loved that you had shown me how much you needed me, but now it feels like you don't anymore. I mean, not long ago I just got injured and had to miss training and matches for a few weeks! You knew how much I needed you by my side, but instead you left me alone while you were out doing God-knows-what. You lied to me, and you kept making excuses after excuses, it’s like you just want to get away from me.”

Tears started streaming down your face. Fuck, you thought, what have I done?

“Wha- Mase, I… I have no idea you feel that way. I’m sorry… Fuck, I’m sorry I have been treating you like shit, I just…” you caught your breath from crying, “I don’t know what’s happening with me. What I did was wrong, I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve… I should’ve been honest to you. I… I don’t… I didn’t mean to break your heart…”

“Well it’s a little too late isn’t it?” he let out a scoff as he furiously wiped his tears, “I think it’s time for me to leave, Y/N. There’s no point of me staying in a dead-end relationship. You’ve fallen out of love with me, and I’m not going to convince you to love me the way you used to. I’ve tried my hardest to keep this ship floating, now I’m done.”

Overwhelmed, he paused for a second. “I just… I just don’t know you anymore, Y/N. You are not who you used to be. Now you don’t seem to care about me, about us. Now everything is always about you.”

You could feel your heart begin to shatter. You knew a break-up was coming eventually, but to hear him speak his truth hurt you deeper than you thought it would. You have done such awful things to him just because you were afraid to tell him how you feel. You wouldn’t blame him if he hates you now – in fact, you knew you deserved it.

“I’m tired of feeling down. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.”

He would be lying if he said he didn’t wish for you to stay, to give your relationship another try. But he knew you two would never work anymore. He wanted everything to be the way it used to be, he wanted to be loved by you and you only. But if you stayed, it would cause you both nothing but pain. At the moment he just knew that going separate ways was the only right thing to do.

You tried to hold back your tears, you were filled with instant regret. You knew you’ve fucked up and taken the greatest love of your life for granted. You hated that your relationship had to go down this way, but you knew you deserved it.

“Mase, I wish I could’ve done better… You and I both know even a million sorries will never be enough. You should know I’ve never meant to hurt you… And yet, at the end, I still did. Thank you for telling me everything I needed to know, I hate myself for treating you unfairly. You deserve better than a bitch like m-”

“No, Y/N, don’t say that,” he cut you off, “you’re not a bitch. You never were.”

“I am, Mase. I know for sure I am. You’ve always been so sweet and loving to me but I fucking hurt you in the worst way possible.”

You both then sat in silence for a while, trying to process the break-up. There was nothing easy about it, especially since you weren’t exactly prepared for what just happened.

“Well,” you broke the silence, “I guess it’s time for me to go.” This is it. “Goodbye Mase, and I’m sorry we had to end like this.”

You went in and tried to give him a hug, but he refused. “I can’t do that, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“I- I understand.” You pressed your lips into a tight line, taking it as your cue to leave.

As you stood up and grabbed your things, he said to you: “Goodbye, Y/N.”

---

Two weeks had passed. His heart ached from missing you, he was questioning his decision to let you go but he knew it had to be done. He tried to delete your pictures and your number from his phone, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, knowing that he still needed some time.

Putting his phone away, he then grabbed a pen and a little notebook he had. Since he couldn’t tell you how he was feeling, he wrote them down instead:

“Y/N, I wish I could tell you just how much I miss you… You are just too hard to forget. But I deserve better… After everything, I need to heal. We both do. Nonetheless, I hope you will find someone who can love you better than I did…”

---

“Gave you all I can give you

Now all that's left is "I still miss you"”

---

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

#mason mount #mason mount x y/n #mason mount x reader #mason mount fic #mason mount angst #mason mount imagine #mason mount fanfic #Spotify

188 notes · View notes

lottiecrabie · 6 months

Note

pfms matty taking reader trick or treating because she was never allowed to celebrate halloween growing up since her parents said it was the devils holiday blah blah

pfms crumb for u all

it’s october 31 and matty waits for her in the most undedicated devil costume. he wears his usual attire; some ripped, black clothes, as well as a pair of dollar tree red horns. black nailpolish and eyeliner is the most effort he’s put in his little get-up, and even that’s not far off from half of his basement shows.

he leans against the side of his van, several houses away. around him, small children and overrun adults roam the streets. there’s a shield of safety to the pumpkins and jolly ‘trick or treat’s; with everyone wearing a mask, they can be whoever they want.

she practically skips to him, licking the smile of her teeth. ‘you’re still not funny,’ she chastises, though the amusement betrays her voice.

‘what?’ matty grins. ‘it’s fitting. i’ve been told i’m the devil incarnate before.’

‘oh, my gosh. i did not say that, you dramaqueen.’

matty draws a hand out, catching hers and drawing her to him. she balances herself with two hands on his shoulders, blinking up at him. here she goes again, practically begging him to kiss her with some flutter of eyelashes.

‘i like the halo,’ he says, flicking it. she scowls, replacing the halo again. ‘you look cute.’

‘thanks.’

his hand drops to her waist, burning at the flimsy fabric. ‘we better not stain this dress. they won’t be able to recognize your costume then, angel.’ she flushes, thinking of that first party— and many more since. you hide in the crook his neck and he roars out a laugh, throat vibrating where her nose burrows. she smiles softly, kissing it. ‘i’ll keep my hands off, but i don’t know if we can trust you…’

‘hey,’ she says, looking up.

‘you’re impossible when you’re drunk.’

‘me?’ she says in faux-affront, as though she didn’t become some sort of superhuman glue any time red wine lingered on her tongue, sticking and sticking to his side.

‘alright, let’s go before george accuses us of ditching setting up to fool around.’

she snorts. ‘what could have possibly given him that idea, right?’ matty smirks, rounding the car. she holds the door handle, watching the little princesses and marios knocking on doors, sugared-up gullets smiling wide. something pinches in her heart. she bites her cheek, then sighs, opening the car door and stepping through.

‘what?’ matty says immediately, always some strange way of reading her. it doesn’t spook her nearly as much as it used to, doesn’t unnerve her from the inside-out.

‘nothing,’ she waves away. ‘it just seems fun.’

he frowns. ‘what does?’

‘being all dressed-up, going door to door, asking for candies.’ she vaguely gestures outside. on the sidewalk, a mother high-fives a tiny witch, rubbing her hair with a laugh.

‘you’ve never trick-or-treated?’

she gives him a deadpan look. ‘you mean the devil’s holiday that encourages gluttony and demonic activities?’ halloween was spent the same every year; hiding in a silent house with the lights off and the blinds shut, as though evil spirits could sense them through the cracks and rob their soul if they dared acknowledge it.

matty’s eyes soften at her. he reaches a hand out, warming her thigh. ‘well, i’m the devil,’ he waves to his silly horns, ‘so we have to celebrate.’

she gives him a humorous look. ‘what? go trick-or-treating at our age?’

he nods solemnly. ‘yes.’

‘what about the party?’

matty waves her away, already getting out of the car. ‘who cares?’

‘well, george.’ still, she’s opening the door, a giddy energy in her limbs. she jumps out as matty retrieves two plastic bags from the back of his dirty van.

‘c’mon,’ he says, already walking towards the first house of the street she runs behind him, laughing.

‘are we really doing this?’ she whispers, like this was a crime.

‘why wouldn’t we?’

he walks the stairs decidedly, uncaring of the looks parents give him. she pinches her thumb awkwardly, though not enough to hurt. she stands on the porch, unsure. she throws him a glance; he rings the doorbell.

a flushed-cheeked woman opens up. her eyes draw up to their height, a surprised oh leaving her mouth. matty stares at her. her eyes widen before she smiles at the woman. ‘trick or treat?’ her grin stretches strangely over her lips, as though it, too, didn’t know if it should be here.

the woman grins. ‘still kids at heart, huh?’

‘that’s right, ma’am,’ matty nods.

in their stretched out bags, she drops three pieces of candies each. this time, her grin brightens her face. ‘thanks!’

‘have a goodnight, kids!’ the woman cheers, then closes the door.

‘i can’t believe we did that,’ she whispers to him, jumping down each stair. matty laughs, shaking his head. he reaches into his bag, pulling out a lollipop, taking off the plastic, and sucking it into his mouth. her eyebrows raise. ‘you’re not gonna wait?’

‘why would i?’

decidedly, she takes a mini pack of gummy bears, ripping it open and biting off the first one’s head. the sugar fills her mouth. she laughs. ‘oh, this is fun.’

‘yeah?’

she smiles at him. ‘yes. thanks.’

he grins, throwing an arm around her shoulder and tugging her to his side. ‘anything for you, angel.’ they walk up the stairs of the next house.

#pfms fluff Rare sight #any lottiecrabie fluff actually #pray for my soul #blurb #crablurb #halloween #ask

111 notes · View notes

nickcarr-scoutstories · 5 months

Text

Hi everyone, I hope you've had a good year. It's been quite a while since I was last posting here regularly - I think maybe February or March. A number of you have written to me over the past many months to ask if I was OK and if I’d be returning with daily updates about scouting, and I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back sooner.

The simple answer for why I haven’t been sharing stories and pictures from my life as a movie location scout is that, since March of this year, I haven’t been a movie location scout.

As you may have heard, the film industry had two major strikes this year. The first kicked off on May 1 when the Writers Guild decided strike; the second on July 14, when SAG joined them on the picket lines.

But if you look at the timeline, something’s off. If the strikes didn’t begin until May, why have I been out of work since March?

When you work in film and TV, you go from project to project, as opposed to working directly for a particular studio. In January, I was just wrapping up the final season of FX’s Snowfall, one my favorite shows I’ve ever scouted for (you really get to explore your dark side when you’re asked to find creative places to stage murders and drug deals on a weekly basis!).

Typically, there are always a number of new productions gearing up at the beginning of the year, and it rarely takes longer than a few weeks to hop on something. Except, as I started reaching out to see what was on the horizon, something became starkly clear: there was nothing.

It quickly became apparent that the studios, anticipating that the strikes were likely to happen, opted to simply halt all new productions. That meant that by the time you heard about the writers strike in May, thousands of below-the-line crew like myself had already been out of work for months, with many more months to go.

I know hindsight is 20/20 and all, but I still kick myself for not predicting what was likely to happen in advance. Ha, in fact, as proof of my ignorance, when my five-year-old camera finally broke toward the end of Snowfall, I decided it was the perfect time to treat myself to a brand-new Sony set-up. That new camera has sat unused on my shelf laughing at me ever since.

Once I realized the severity of the situation, two things became clear: one, the strikes were going to last for a long time. And two, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it, other than to find a way for my family and I to survive until everything resolved.

As part of this effort, I made the conscious decision to focus my attention only on things I could control, and that were positive influences in my life. For that reason, I had to turn away from anything industry-related (a good decision in hindsight, as roughly 95% of the media predictions and insider sources about the strikes turned out to be wrong).

And by extension, I also stepped back from posting here. It was just too sad to try to write with my normal enthusiasm about scouting and exploring when everything about my work was in such upheaval.

Both strikes have now come to an end, and despite all the pessimistic naysayers, both unions wound up with extremely good deals that the studios initially swore were simply not possible. Though I’m neither SAG nor WGA, all of the benefits and protections I have from being a Teamster only come from working in an industry with extremely strong unions. If there was any question, 2023 made it undeniably clear.

My family has made it through, our credit scores bruised but otherwise happy and healthy and looking forward to a much brighter 2024. I was able to accomplish several projects that would have literally never happened if not for the strikes, including one creative endeavor that may be the best thing I’ve ever written and I can’t wait to share with you.

Hollywood has been slow to re-open, and I’m still waiting to put that camera to use on the first post-strike feature or TV show. Thankfully though, some print advertising work in the past few weeks has given me an excuse to finally take it off the shelf and wipe the dust off. And there are growing rumblings that the TV/movie floodgates should burst soon.

Finally, I wanted to end the year on a positive note by putting out the delayed third issue of my Scout Stories publication. This one is for you Scouting NY fans, and focuses on my all-time favorite “hidden in plain sight” locations and finds on the streets of New York from my ten years of scouting there. I’ll have the big announcement with purchase links up either later today or tomorrow, and they will definitely come in time for Christmas, should you be looking for a unique stocking stuffer!

So that’s what’s happened, where I’ve been, what I’ve been up to, and what’s ahead. If you asked me to sum up 2023, I’d say that financially, it was terrible! But in all truth, it was a happy year, simply because I made it a point to focus on the things that brought happiness.

Sharing my work as a scout with you has always made me happy, and I’m very much looking forward to doing a lot more of it in the coming year.

Happy holidays!

Nick

45 notes · View notes

w1ldthoughts · 9 months

Text

X-Factor

Series Masterlist

Synopsis: Jack is ready to have deep talks about emotional vulnerability and he hears Zoey sing for the first time.

Theme song:

Love makes you do the craziest things. Jack had been speaking to his therapist about ways to be more vulnerable and emotionally available with Zoey in order to feel more comfortable and confident in telling her that he loved her. He spent the last week and a half looking at what relationship experts had to say about it and really taking in a bunch of information that he truly felt was useful. Zoey was worth it and he almost didn’t even recognize himself with how much effort he was putting in to get closer to her in every way that wasn’t just purely physical.

They had that on lock.

He was back in Miami for a few days and as he laid in Zoey’s bed, he decided now was as good of a time as any to do this. “So I’ve been talking to my therapist about how I really want to be able to express myself in a healthier way, especially with you and she suggested that we play a game. Are you up for that?”

“Of course, what’s the game?” Zoey asks, sitting up so she can face him.

“They’re just questions about random things, to get us to be honest and express ourselves as much as possible. I know we have no problems finding things to talk about, but I do think I’m lacking a bit in the emotional vulnerability department and I want to be a complete partner, in every aspect. So it’s important for me to be able to comfortably do this and be my full self with you.”

His girlfriend was thoroughly impressed. “Can I ask what brought this on?”

“I felt like I was in way over my head. Not used to talking about my feelings and I don’t want that to be the norm or for you to have to pry things out of me so I figured we could work on that together? Intimacy isn’t an issue, at all, but I do think doing something like this would bring us closer. And I'm willing to try anything really, to not only show you how I feel but to be able to tell you.”

She responds by giving him a slow, tender kiss, lightly biting on his lower lip when she pulls away. “You working on your emotional maturity and going out of your way to fix it is so unbelievably attractive, you have no idea.”

“Well I’m about to get even sexier then.” He laughs, pulling out his phone to read his notes. “Okay Zo, first question and I’m going to start it off light, name your three favorite things about me and why?”

Zoey scooted toward him to rest her hands on his legs. “I love your kindness. You’re so sweet to literally everyone you meet and have never met a stranger. Second thing is that your heart is so big, you just want to take care of everyone all the time. Even if sometimes you’re the one that needs to be cared for. And the third thing is how utterly gorgeous you are inside and out. Obviously you are attractive but then when you actually let people peel back layers, you’re even prettier on the inside which is incredible.”

“But damn your eyes and your smile are so pretty.” She adds with a giggle.

“Thank you, baby.” Jack blushes, handing her the phone so she could choose a question. “This one is good. What’s your favorite part about our relationship?”

“Where do I even start?” He muses, looking into her eyes. “Well first off, I like how we balance each other out. It’s like we’re both the perfect mix of intense and chill and we feed off of each other’s energies very well. I love that we want each other and we don’t need each other, we have our own lives and things going on but our relationship is just a bonus, not a necessity.”

“My favorite thing about our relationship though, about you, is that you move things in me that I thought I covered up with cement a long time ago. I spent a really long time convincing myself that with this life, I wouldn’t find anything sustainable with anyone. There was no way to find someone that would be worth it. So I built a fortress around myself and put up a front that I wasn’t a relationship guy. And then here you come with your honesty and vulnerability in the most perfect and incredible person I’ve ever seen and you got me.” He pauses, holding her hand with a sigh.

“You make me better, in every way imaginable. And that’s the best part.” He so badly wanted to finish that sentence with those three words but it was still too much.

Zoey looked at her boyfriend who’s eyes were a bit shiny with tears. She wiped at them and kissed his cheek, “you make me better too.”

The happiness that radiated from him was almost palpable and he felt corny for still being in the honeymoon phase four months into the relationship but he couldn’t help it, all he could do was shake his head and keep going. “Alright, next question. What is the theme song of our relationship?”

“Oh that’s a good one.” She states pensively, tapping her chin with her index finger. “Maybe, ‘Right There’ by Ariana ft. Big Sean. Cause I’m your number one girl who got the top spot title.”

Jack lets out a laugh, smacking his thigh. “Who needs a genie in a bottle if I already got you? Granted all my wishes and shit, I like that.”

“Your turn Z.”

She gasps a little at a question on the screen. “Okay I need to know this. Which of the five senses are most sensual to you?”

He raises his eyebrows, deep in thought, thinking back to their various intimate encounters. “This might be super nerdy and artsy of me but I think it’s gotta be hearing. Not just because music is so important to me and that may be a part of it but hearing you is intoxicating sometimes. And I’m not even being sexual, I'm just talking about your speaking voice. It relaxes me and calms me and yeah it turns me on hearing you moan or say my name. Shit like that. So yeah, hearing for sure.”

“Good fucking answer. I feel like Steve Harvey right now, but that’s a good ass answer.”

They spent a little over two hours going through the questions and digging deep. Zoey left shortly after they were done to grab something from the office while Jack and EJ got a workout in. He showered and came home to find her in the bathroom singing their theme song, hitting every note. He’d been waiting for this day for so long he had to get in there with her.

“See I knew you could sing but I didn’t know you could sing. Jesus Christ, you sound incredible.” He told her as soon as the door was closed.

“Thank you.” She laughed. “How was your workout?”

“It was fine but I’m not here to talk about that. Finish your song. Sing to me, please.” He engulfed her in a hug, basking in the warmth of the steamy room as they relaxed into each other a bit further.

Jack began to gently sway them back and forth as Zoey finished the song, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat. She looked up to meet his loving gaze and he slowly leaned in, bringing their lips together, closing any distance that was left between them. She smiled into the kiss, still mentally pinching herself at the reality that was her life, everything was so much more raw and emotionally driven now that they were official and every part of her wanted to scream that she loved him at the top of her lungs. But she couldn’t, not until she knew he felt the same. Part of her still needed to protect herself from the first time she put herself out there for him and he needed to make that first move to drive them forward. Today was a huge step in understanding his emotions but Zoey still wanted him to say those words first.

“You’re everything I could ever want. Please know that.” He whispered, their noses still touching. It wasn’t exactly what she had hoped for but, good things come to those who wait. “Being with you is better than anything I could’ve ever dreamt up, so thank you. Thank you for being a dream come true.” He said with another peck. “Now I feel like I gotta ask, Zoey, what do you want?” He laughed quietly.

Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him even closer, taking a deep breath before pulling back. “Well I’m so glad you asked because I have a list. Let me go get it and read it to you.” He followed her to her room and she dug through her bedside table drawer for a neatly folded piece of pink paper.

“I want to be cared for and to care for someone. But not in that corny way where we cook each other five course meals and leave hug coupons but in a way that’s just simple, like little intimate acts of service here and there. I want trust and communication and commitment that knows no bounds. I want passion but in a delicate way. I want to be treated like royalty but manhandled when the situation calls for it.” She tosses the paper on the bed and walks back over to him, cupping his face in her hands.

She continues, “I want all of those things but only if you’re the one that I’m with, because what I really want is to do everything that is humanly imaginable in this world…with you. That’s what the fuck I want.”

Jack’s smile reaches his ears. “Ask and you shall receive, baby. You will have everything on that list, believe that.”

Taglist

@jackharloww

@killatravtramp

@middlechild404

@harlowcomehome

@itsyagirljaz

@iknowdatsrightbih

#jack harlow #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow fanfic #jackman thomas harlow #jack x zoey #Spotify

102 notes · View notes

razorblade180 · 6 months

Text

Respite

Down at Liyue Harbor Docks, Aether and Keqing sit and watch the moon over the water after a satisfying dinner.

Keqing:I appreciate you showing up to my birthday dinner.

Aether:You sent an invite and it’s been awhile since I’ve been back. How could I not want to see you?

Keqing:Always the sweet talker. I know you like showing up but I that doesn’t mean it’s always possible. I guess my appreciation was more towards the fact you were free. So, how’s Fontaine?

Aether:Big and wet. Lots of beautiful things to discover but a little tense at times. That’s for sure.

Keqing:Is that so? Are you sure there’s nothing else you want to say?

Aether:Hmm?

Keqing:I can always tell y’know, just how exhausted you are. It’s not as bad as when you retuned from Inazuma, you’re definitely not as vibrant as when you came back from Sumeru. What’s wrong?

Aether:…Sigh, It’s not as if one thing is wrong. Everything got really heavy and intense without much certainty. We made it out alright but…it kinda feels like I was just a cog in it all.

Keqing:Aren’t we all to a certain point? Each of us work and if it all fits together then we create something bigger than ourselves. It’s how we saved Liyue; it’s how you stood against a not one, but two gods.

Aether:I know. You’re right; it’s just this time it felt less cooperative and more…destined. Maybe I’m overthinking things?

Keqing:You should rest. Burnout is the killer of innovation and effort, not the reward. Everyone needs rest.

Aether:Heh, never thought I’d hear you tell me that.

Keqing:That’s…fair. Listen, I know my job is vital to a lot of things but I won’t pretend that consequences of my limitations and yours are the same. My paperwork and plans gets delayed, but you, burnout could take your life in your field of work. Please, don’t over do it.

She rests her hand on top of his. Giving a small smile, Aether puts his head on her shoulders, closing his eyes when she returned the gesture by leaning on him a little.

Aether:You’re extra affectionate tonight.

Keqing:*red* And what’s wrong with that? It’s been ages since we’ve been alone like this. I missed it.

Aether:We should find time to do it more often. Happy Birthday, Keqing.

Keqing:Thank you. Now please, let’s set aside work, and just rest in this moment~

Aether:For how long?

Keqing:Morning of course.

Aether:Sounds to me like you’re keeping me for the rest of the night.

Keqing:Don’t worry. You’re in good hands.

#genshin impact #gi aether #keqing #aeqing

34 notes · View notes

streaminn · 6 months

Note

Spider-Enid Angst

Wednesday sits outside a cafe as the sky slowly fades with the sunset. Thirty minutes have passed since she initially arrived at the time she and Enid agreed to meet at. While she secretly knows why her best friend is chronically late, she’s never been this tardy, especially with her. Something’s been up with Enid lately ever since she took a page out of Wednesday’s book and started sporting black in her spider-suit. Before she thinks more on it, Enid turns the corner and spots Wednesday, before shuffling over and taking a seat.

“I’m here! I’m here,” Enid exclaims as she scoots her metal chair closer to the table with a screech.

“Do you have a reason for your lateness?” asks Wednesday.

“Lost track of time doing English homework.”

“We don’t have English homework.”

“It’s a different assignment Wednesday geez.” Enid avoids eye contact, but can’t hide the look of annoyance on her face.

“You are giving me an attitude, yet you were the one who showed up late. Why are you taking your emotions out on me?”

“At least I have emotions,” Enid says under her breath, but just loud enough for Wednesday to hear.

“Speak plainly Enid, if you’re going to be like this, say it with your chest.”

“You know what Wednesday, fine.” Enid sits up straight, her eyebrows scrunched in a frown. “Yes, I was late, so what? What about you? You always get to class just as the bell rings.”

“I’m punctual, not late, there’s a difference.”

“Yeah sure Wednesday, clearly that’s the issue.”

“What is the issue Enid? You’ve made it clear in the past the importance of communication, and I’ve done my best to accommodate.”

“Well maybe your best isn’t enough, you ever think about that Wednesday? Maybe I’m tired of your hot and cold attitude towards me. I mean are you really my best friend, ‘cause most of the time it feels like you don’t give a shit about me at all!”

Enid slams her fist on the table with a loud bang, causing any nearby customers to flinch at the sound. The stares that the girls are now getting don’t bother Wednesday; her concern focused on the secret hero in front of her who has just put a dent in their table. Something is wrong, but Enid is clearly not in the mood to admit it.

Wednesday makes an effort to look as composed as possible before she stands up from her chair. “I’m not going to sit here and let you take your misplaced anger out on me. I’m going home. We can talk when you’re ready.” Wednesday turns to leave, with Enid standing from her own chair.

“Wednesday don’t go.” The goth continues to walk as Enid clamors to chase after her. “Wednesday Addams stop, stop walking!” She continues onward as the blonde’s impatience boils over. “WEDNESDAY! Don’t walk away from us!”

Wednesday stops in her tracks. Us. With wishful thinking, Wednesday could perceive Enid talking about their friendship, but she knows this isn’t the case. The way she yelled her name, the way it was said with a deep growl, the way she said “us.” There’s something else going on with Enid, something dangerous.

Without facing her, Wednesday says, “When you have composed yourself, we can talk, but right now, I don’t like the way you are treating me.” She pauses, before speaking again to stop any possible interruption. “I do care about you Enid, for you are truly my best friend and I do my best to show how I feel. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you talk to me like that. Cool off, and come find me when you’re ready.”

Wednesday resumes her walk, not hearing any footsteps following her. She leaves Enid to stand there as the rest of the cafe pretends like they weren’t eavesdropping. It does hurt Wednesday to walk away from her, but she knows it’s tough medicine that must be administered. Even as she gets farther away, she can faintly hear Enid huffing in frustration behind her. Perhaps the situation calls for Wednesday to break out her claws. Something is negatively affecting her best friend, and if it takes a black cat to fix a spider, then so be it.

(Hope you like it, I think I captured the possible angst from your art. Wanted to write it from Wednesday’s perspective since I know Enid’s would be probably involve the symbiote talking to her. Maybe I’ll write that another time. Plus, idk, I like having Wednesday use communication against Enid)

no thoughts, just enid realizing that if wednesday is willing to leave her behind over a tiny arguement then wednesday is willing to find someone better

#jdwicked #writing #spider enid au

49 notes · View notes

kelin-is-writing · 1 year

Note

ok - thought

i think most people agree that dabi doesn't like the concept of marriage for obvious reasons and he never thought that he of all people would ever get married or even feel the need to

but then you show up and poor baby is hooked

he can't even imagine spending a single second without you and he tries to convince himself that marriage can work - that he can make it work

but he's terrified regardless because what if he turns out like his dad? what if he ends up hurting you somehow? he wouldn't want you to feel trapped with him but something about being able to call you truly his makes him think it might be worth the risk

so - question

do you think dabi would ever get married or even find the courage to propose? and in case he decides against it what would happen if you propose instead?

- 🥛

i’m sorry for the late answer milk, it’s just that since i got this ask i’ve been thinking about it nonstop. i took breaks from time to time to do things, but hell this ask kept haunting me because damn... this is such a good question honestly.

NOW, onto the answer.

i think that for a proposal to happen there’s gotta be an effort from both sides.

to be able to accept the idea of marriage, dabi first needs to realize his worth after that sorry ass father that he had crushed every single amount of self-love that was inside of little touya, this is something only you can help him with.

how? be genuine with him, never hold an ulterior motive when speaking to someone who has trust issues, because that way you’ll only make them close-up into themselves even more than they already were. if you’re genuine, sincere and warm with him someone like dabi who has never had something of that sort will slowly and naturally start lean into you feeling more at easy, without the need for him to always be on guard and ready to get hurt. because if it happened once, it can very well a second time and by not letting you into his heart (that he thought would be unbothered as of now, he was wrong) dabi is already putting up a defensive mechanism to prevent anything and anyone from getting close to him.

he’s actually someone who’s very sensitive and emotional for me who feels things a lot more than some other peoples, yes even as dabi (i mean, if he didn’t then how do you explain his flames bursting at sekoto peak?), he has also spent lot of time watching others over the years he spent alone and reading someone for him is basically a piece of cake as of now, so his wary attitude towards others intentions makes him very observant on their actions and if he sees something off about you, what you say or do, dabi is gonna distance himself right away; he’s done being hurt.

but (there’s always gotta be a “but...”) the moment he's at the start of opening up to you and letting his guard lower a tad bit, he’s panicking right away of you because what if he disappoints you or lets you down? what if you start ignoring him? what if you end up hating him?

shit he’s in fucking trouble now, because he’s already starting to think that a future with you might actually be not so bad but also... possible?

this is when dabi realizes that he has been lowering his guard as you two kept spending time together, it’s just that... your genuineness and sincerity were so blinding, so welcoming, so comforting, so reassuring, that he mindlessly had gave into them.

he truly thinks that he doesn’t deserve you, you’re too good. a gem, a rare and precious one.

it was seriously a tragedy for him, because now that he realized how he did want a future with you, along with it has also come more and more the fear of becoming like his father.

only the thought of such a thing makes dabi gag in disgust.

this is essentially why he has never dared bring up marriage, things were fine as they were right now for the moment.

if it were for dabi, he would marry you on the spot but as of now he’s too much of a coward to even just mention it, at least not until he has settled what he has to set and grow out of his father’s shadow that was forced upon him from the scumbag himself since a young age.

he knows what are the thing his father did wrong so he can very well avoid them since he’s smart, but he’s also greedy and ambitious... so what if he unintentionally repeats that man’s mistakes? he would hate that and himself.

but you know the say that goes, the more time you spend with someone the more you become like them? you’re such a good damn influence to him and his life, even the league has noticed it by the way he has started to behave with them and this has started to make him more confident that: yes, he can in fact make you happy the way you deserve.

you gave him that confidence.

in a case like this i think he wouldn’t hold back from proposing to you, actually he would bring it up pretty casually and have you dumbfounded by how out of nowhere it came.

but if he still is unsure about himself, still doesn’t have that confidence and you proposed instead— dabi would be shocked, to say the least, before asking you why would you want to marry him and starting to tell you that he might become someone as despicable as his father in future, that you might get hurt if you decide to stay by his side and that he’s bound to disappoint you.

this poor boy only needs to be reassured, he’s seriously too hard on himself by every meaning. so if you want him to say yes that badly at your proposal, you gotta first open his eyes on what a good boyfriend he has been until now (because i’m 100% sure he is) and that he’s gonna be even better in future because you two will go through it together.

if you give him the reassurance and confidence he needs for such an important step in your lives, i don’t think dabi is gonna turn you down and even if he doesn’t look like it he’s actually ecstatic.

a life by the side of his precious sunshine is everything he needs.

that being said everyone—

ALWAYS STAY CLOSE TO PEOPLES THAT FEELS LIKE SUNSHINE!!!!!!

#kelin responds #answered #🥛 anon #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #dabi headcanons #touya todoroki headcanons #whoops let out my inner endeavor hater a bit too much in here haha #anyways i just really think that dabi needs reassurance and trust as a base to a love relationship #to distance himself from the coldness felt throughout his whole childhood #so he really ain't gonna marry just anybody and most of all he wouldn't marry out of convenience to strengthen his quirk either #*judging side eye towards endeavor*#we say it for funsies on here but i actually think you seriously gotta touch his soul for him to pay you any mind romantically #he's gonna shower you with love once he finally finds you you can bet on it

43 notes · View notes

sadaveniren · 10 months

Note

I'm the same anon as before and you're so right!!! I don't have a normal 9-5 so my hours are whatever I want so 🤷‍♀️ and just because of that my weeks looks incredible different to the ones of my friends, I will be doing the most random things at the most random times and I Can't imagine what my life would look like if in addition to the time I had access to the same kind of money they have.

I also think some fans don't want to seem crazy and want to feel superior so they shut down headcanons like this one just for the sake of it

Sooooo many fans try to kill fun headcanons just because they don’t want to “give antis ammo” or whatever. It’s like they forget two key things: 1. Fandom is fun 2. Antis are gonna fucking hate us anyway

Like we aren’t going to convince a hateful anti to leave us alone. We sure aren’t going to convince them Harry and Louis are together. We might barely be able to convince them either of them are allies much less part of the LGBT community. So why put any effort into policing ourselves in that manner? Just let us have fun!

I’ve been in this fandom since 2014 and I still have fun every single day. I also have made sure to cultivate an overall positive fandom experience. I have a large group of friends who are all as positive as me and we just share fun headcanons and try to puzzle stuff out in the most low key and low risk to our mental health way possible. I block hate anon pretty liberally. I don’t go looking for anyone who is doing anything I don’t care to engage with. If I see people getting sucked into discourse or spiraling into unhealthy behaviors when it comes to doomsdaying away I go in the OPPOSITE direction of it.

I watched “rad Louies” become a thing because fans were convinced Louis was being sabotaged in 2017 and rolled my eyes and continued on in my lane, writing fic and figuring that everything would be okay and now 5 years out I can pretty confidently say I believe there’s a lot of evidence Louis cut the promo himself on Back to You and his Epic contract because he didn’t like the musical direction he was going in.

I watched fandom tie themselves into knots over and over again with Harry’s stunts and have just shrugged and carried on because it’s not my life and not my job to worry about what Harry is choosing to do with his life.

I learned in May 2015 when fandom tried to “change the narrative about party boy Louis” that we as fans don’t actually have control at all. 1DHQ worked really hard to give us that illusion that we were all powerful and we had control on the marketing decisions etc but guess what? No one TALKED about Briana openly when Louis got papped with her in May. No one shared pap pics on tumblr. And yet we STILL GOT BG. We bitched and moaned and debunked left right and center and yet they CONTINUED ON.

As a fan my only job is to have fun. I have fun by trying to work out timelines and make up cute headcanons. My headcanons aren’t hurting anyone and despite what antis think I really don’t care if I’m right or wrong lol hell I’ll be the first to admit that I get shit wrong a lot. *gestures towards my guess that Louis was doing something May 25th when it turned out to be an error on his poster (which is a whole other issue but whatever) and that Steve Aoki might make an appearance at Louis’ Vegas show (which turned out to be that Louis showed up at HIS show)*

I’m having a blast. If my headcanons get debunked oh well I move on. Fandom is supposed to be fun! Be in it because you enjoy it and you HAVE FUN! If you aren’t having fun maybe… find something else to do?

#answered #idk I just think some people want to be taken too seriously #and they’re missing out on the fact that you shouldn’t be doing shit for others #do it for yourself

15 notes · View notes

yangfanbb · 2 years

Text

From twitter.com/KdinJenzen

Fucking disgusting Rooster Teeth absolutely pathetic now I do hope your fucking company does collapse 🖕

Kdin Jenzen · @KdinJenzen

15th Oct 2022 from TwitLonger

My final words on Rooster Teeth & just SOME of my experiences there.

So it’s time for me to finally say something about Rooster Teeth.

Within a few weeks of working at Rooster Teeth I was given a nickname, that nickname was a slur. Every day I came into work I was called “F*gg*t” - but they could not use that name in content so when anyone was recording I was called “Fugz” instead. For any fans who used that nickname for me for years, that’s what you were calling me. I couldn’t say anything about it, I had reported the use of that nickname for years to HR, and nothing was ever done about it and the videos that use that nickname for me are still up.

My hours in that department were 7am until 11pm.

I was crunching harder than before.

I wasn’t allowed to be in anything.

I had my name removed from everything I worked on.

I was put in an office where I was forgotten about and swept under the rug, people even IN the company forgot I worked there with how sectioned off and pushed aside I was.

In 2016 I came out as trans and many people at the company publicly voiced their support on social media.

Inside the company however, things got worse.

People had no idea how to deal with a trans woman, so I was interacted with even less and only trotted out every so often to show off “We Hire LGBTQIA+ People!”

It was only at this point where the nickname “Fugz” finally stopped being used all the time. Three years of content with that name being used toward me and all that content is still up.

But I was ultimately silenced and pushed aside.

This is all really just the surface level, there’s so much more I want to say but honestly it’s all so exhausting at this point and I’ve done everything I can.

I still struggle regularly with the emotional, mental, physical, and financial damage that was done to me over those years.

There are good people still working there, I’m friends with them, and I wish them the best.

#kdin jenzen #rooster teeth #fuck rooster teeth

63 notes · View notes