#and I can’t really grow my hair out like I want to. bc of the whole Balding thing
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wait somno with jack thurlow or kappa….😋 like I feel like that’s so vulnerable and they’d get so whiney and messy:3 MISS U BTW
wait you cooked anon..miss u guys too! thank u sm for 700+ followers🩷. smut warning, bj+ somnophilia pls educate yourself on the kink, do not read if not comfortable. dont report just scroll! he’s a little submissive in this but it’s bc he’s so sleepy :3. (potential for a pt 2 if wanted). enjoy!
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jack had gotten home late, when he slugged through the door he looked disheveled—hair messily hanging in his face, tie loosely around his neck, a huge sigh exiting him when he shut the door. you stood at the stove, head turning at the sound, seeing him and already being able to tell he was ran through the ringer.
“hi my love,” you say softly as he makes his way over to you, turning down the stove as he wraps his arms around you, chin resting on your shoulder, “hey baby,” he mutters into your skin. you hold his cheek and caress him gently, “long day?” “really long day, oh my god. I don’t even wanna talk about it.” he sighs, making you pout.
“well i’m makin dinner, go get in the shower n chill out for a bit,” you kiss his cheek, he raises up and gives you a light kiss before trudging upstairs. you feel bad for him as you finish dinner, he’d been working soso hard for you guys lately and you could tell it was killing him from the inside.
in the span of you finishing dinner and cleaning up around the downstairs area you hear jack shower and exit to your shared room, feeling oh so sad for you poor lover :(. “baby,” you call from the stairs, hoping he’d hear with that door closed. you call again before you head up quietly just in case he might’ve been working, overworking himself even when he knew he could manage just one break.
you peak in the door and to your surprise he wasn’t working, though his computer sitting next to him as papers lay across the bed where he lays on his back, fast asleep, glasses still on his face as he lay in a white tee and navy blue boxer shorts. you pout, will you ever relax? you close his laptop and sit in on the dresser before you clean up his papers and everything, peeling off his glasses gently to not wake him, loving just how heavy he slept, especially when he needed it.
he lays flat on his back, legs and arms spread just everywhere on your guys’ bed as he breaths softly, and you sit next to him on the bed, eyes scanning over his beautiful features as he rests. you note the shirt he was wearing, muscles bulging all in the right places, and the way his pink nipples shown through the flimsy fabric. and as you continue to gawk at your lover you can’t help but admire how his boxers run up his muscly thighs in the right way, one side running up close to his crotch.
you lick your lips as you lightly trace your finger down his chest, leaning over him as you study his face, and you remember how you two talked about trying out somnophilia weeks ago but neither acted upon it yet but..the temptation was rushing over you. you run your hand along the sides of his face and through his hair softly, feeling his breath bounce off your wrist ever so slightly. you smile at his lips, remembering how they felt against your cheek when he came in and greeted you like he always did.
the thought of waking your man with that sort of sensation after he’s had such an obviously long day of overworking himself, hearing how grateful he’d sound, his sleepy moans from being consumed by the pleasure, hands grabbing at you..and before you knew it you were palming his cock through his boxer shorts, your lip tucked between your teeth.
you watch his face for disturbance but he sleeps soundly as you stroke his clothed cock, your other hand pushing his legs further apart so you can sit between them, leaning over his chest, eyes on his face as you stroke him like you usually would when he’s awake. you feel his cock growing in your hand as you pull him out, his tip shiny with pre when he throbs in your hand, licking your lips. you pull his shirt up slightly, nails running along his prominent happy trail that runs down his abs.
you collect the spit in your mouth before you dip your tongue in the slit of his tip, eyes shutting in remembrance of how he’d always moan when you did that. your tongue swirls around his tip, moving your tongue down the girth of his cock, pressing hard against the prominent vein running up from his balls and you coat him with your drool, mixing sloppy kisses in with each lick.
you let spit pile up on the hand that was continuously stroking him, a string connected to your lips as you pull back up to his tip, now taking him fully in your mouth as much as you could, your tongue latching onto the underside of his cock as you inch himself in, moaning as you glide all the way down until you can’t anymore, your eyes watering. you hear jack suck in a breath and feel his stomach speed up, though when you look up you see no signs of him waking up so you continue.
your recall how he’d praise you when you’d take him all, rubbing your head and giving you a slight, “that’s it baby.” the memory makes you moan again, taking him all the way again until you can’t anymore, feeling him hit the back of your throat and making you gag slightly.
it doesn’t bother you, in fact you keep going, stuffing him down your throat until you can’t take it and gag, tears running down your cheeks as you caress his v-line but not letting up. your eyes roll back slightly, drool and spit pooling up at the base of his cock from how fast you were going, locking your lips against him.
you hear jack let out the tiniest of whines, though not caring because of how into you are. jack feels it before waking, thinking his wet dream was just getting too real. but his head stirs at the intense pulsing, pulling feeling in his lower region, it made him heat up, sweat overcoming him quickly, his head fogging up and making him squirm.
you bob your head faster and it takes him, he lets out a raspy “oh!” as he squeezes his eyes shut, brows furrow and his head throws back, hand on his hot mouth as his chest arches upwards, the balls of his feet digging into the bed on the side of you as his legs come up, shaking slightly as pleasure overtakes him but you hold his hips down, humming around him, realizing he was waking up.
he removed his hand and grips the covers under himself, unconsciously bucking up to your mouth as he lifts up on his elbow, eyes fluttering upon uncoordinatedly to look down at you, coming to realize the moaning was you, and so what was making him shake and groan.
he moans once more, louder when he realizes it’s you, a long n high “baby, fuuuck,” coming from him as his head rolls on his shoulders and his eyes close again, cheeks flushed as he lets you continue, too tired to hide the rather girly moans and whines coming from him and not bothering to push his hair out the way.
he hisses and bites his lip when he rests his free hand atop of your head, lightly pushing you as he sleepily fucks into your mouth, his release coming faster and harder now that he was awake. “you’re so good baby, gonna cum, kay? gonna cum..” he whimpers, moaning behind his bit lip, grabbing your hair and making sure to pull you all the way up to his tip before lowering you back down to the base of his cock, the action making his legs lowkey shake and his stomach tighten.
he cums in your mouth with a low “fuck”, mouth agape as he catches your breath and slowly pulls you off with a shaky hand, allowing you to get every drop. you lean on your hands and he gets a hood look at your face, sitting up and whipping your tear stained face, “yer’ all messy baby,” he whispers, making you giggle. “was..was it good?” you lick your lips, and he laughs as he nods.
“really fuckin good baby, never..never felt anything like that before. scared me a lil, didn’t know if my fuckin’ dream was comin to life or not. was really good, such a good girl,” he gives you a light kiss as he holds your cheeks which quickly turns heated, flipping you on your side.
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I really can’t bring myself to turn off anons bc ik not everyone is comfortable sending, so I won’t. I also figured out how to block anons! but i’m back from my haitus if you’ll have me, i’ve seen your lovely messages and I think u sm. I hope u liked this <33
join my taglist! @angelsanarchy @monkeyfart @444rockstargf @bambi-horror @auggiethecreator @wonkinoo @brithedemonspawn @yungbloodsuxca @ween @bluerthanvelvet444 @nom-nommmm1 @xelam444 @iiheartsai @smuttyslutty666 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @mrsdove @mommymilkers0526 @thirtyratsinasuit @lilith-jae @greenxgloss @ithinkitstimetonap @teamokirkhammett
#rory culkin#rory culkin smut#jack goes home smut#jack thurlow prompt#jack thurlow x reader#jack thurlow#jack thurlow smut
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Listen I am extremely grateful for all of the gifts T has given me and I don’t regret starting it at ALL. But. Sometimes I want to be a lil pretty..a lil androgynous..maybe wear a lil dress and some makeup..and unfortunately the state that my body is currently in prevents me from doing so in a comfortable way and it’s very depressing
#yapping#I was never destined to be the pretty boy transmasc stereotype and that’s fine. that’s fine#I just wish I didnt look like a grizzled italian uncle at the tender age of 22#I don’t think I could ever wear anything revealing bc I am so fucking hairy. I would hey stared at so bad#and I can’t really grow my hair out like I want to. bc of the whole Balding thing#like T has very much turned me into a Man and I can’t be mad at that. bc that’s what I initially wanted#but now that I’m getting older and my identity is shifting it’s like..okay. what if I don’t want that all of the time.#how do I reach that perfect middle ground#sorry for dumping in the tags I feel safe in here like a small rodent in a hole
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pairings: lee heeseung x f! reader
warnings: nerd and pussy addict! heeseung + bimbo! reader + oral + squirting + fingering
💌: have u guys seen the pics heeseung tweeted wearing glasses bcs oh my goshhhh m DIZZY, i havent been able to stop thinking abt them… i need him carnally anyway twiddles my fingers take ur pick
nerd! heeseung tutoring you, the ditzy little bimbo in his class. he’s never really spoken to you, always too nervous to make eye contact, let alone hold a fullblown conversation; stuttering out a “sure” when you walk up to him, sucking a lollipop between your glossy lips and ask him to pretty please teach you the material.
you invite him to your house for the study session, clad in the tiniest skirt and the most revealing top he’s ever seen when you open the door for him, squealing and wrapping yourself around his arm to lead him to your bedroom. heeseung’s sure his face is red, flustered by your actions and the feeling of your warm, soft skin.
although the point of this was for him to teach you, somehow your roles were reversed and now he’s burying his face in your cunt, you teaching him how to properly eat pussy.
his glasses are sliding down his nosebridge and you can feel the cool metal against your thighs when you squeeze them around his head, his nose bumping your clit as he eagerly but sloppily tonguefucks your hole, slurping loudly and his chest heaving as the inexperienced boy grows desperate to make you cum.
or, pussy addict! heeseung <3 he lives for making you cum on his tongue. he’ll take his time pleasuring you, wanting to draw out your orgasms so they’re more intense. starts off by pressing delicate kisses to your cunt and your clit, obsessed with the way your hole flutters, aching to be filled with his cock, but there’s no way he’d give up eating you out first.
your legs are already shaking before he’s even started and it makes him smile against you, blowing on your cunt to see your cute reactions. he uses his pretty fingers to spread your hole open, licking at you so passionately it’s like he’s making out with your wet pussy.
his skilled tongue is nearly too much for you, making you grab at his hair and tug harshly but it just makes him moan, the vibrations causing you to lift your hips off the bed and heeseung has his eyes on you the whole time, peering up at you with his big, bambi eyes through his glasses.
before you know it he’s sliding two fingers inside and sucking harshly on your clit, fucking the digits into you even as the pleasure builds and you cum hard, mind going blank as you squirt, drops of it landing on the lenses of his glasses. but he can’t bring himself to stop, doing his best to make your orgasm last, heeseung’s cock twitching before his own climax hits, blowing his load in his pants and groaning deeply.
#♡.the honeypot#enhypen#lee heeseung#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung smut#💌.oral#💌.fingering
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an overture of indulgence (joel miller x f!reader oneshot) 18+
summary: it's been a long time since you've seen joel, and some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. namely, how quickly he can still get you on his knees for him, ready to show him exactly just how much you like what has changed about him.
warnings: 18+, smut, post-outbreak, jackson joel, d/s relationship dynamics, pet names (baby, babygirl, sweetheart, sweet girl, etc), body worship, belly kink, talk of weight gain, belly riding, m/f masturbation, lil bit of humiliation kink, lil bit of edging, reader is an adult but age otherwise unspecified, reader is shorter than joel and has hair long enough to grab, let me know if i missed anything :)
word count: 4.3k
a/n: just fuckin outing myself left and right these days huh. idk what came over me with this one. started this late last night and here it is now. belly enjoyers rise!!!!!!! nice comments/reblogs appreciated if you enjoyed <3 you can't kink shame me bc i like getting bullied so now what. also i avoided daddy kink for once in my life please clap. i know i’m spoiling y’all this weekend don’t get used to it.
divider by @saradika
“...Joel?!” you shout, your leisurely walking pace quickly turning into a hurried jog as you leave Tommy behind, making a beeline toward the man you would swear on your life is Joel Miller. A small handful of years ago now, he was kind of your boyfriend, kind of not, kind of something else more complicated and unlabeled, because who can afford to put a label on anything in times like these?
Joel’s head turns in your direction at the sound of his name, and as soon as you spot that crooked scar across the bridge of his nose, you’re certain it’s him.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe it,” you half-cry, throwing your weight into him as you wrap him in a tight embrace. He’s much taller than you, but you still managed to knock him off his balance a little. He envelops your whole body in one of his signature, all-encompassing hugs, and it’s like no time has passed at all.
The two of you had ended whatever it was you had on good terms, no hard feelings or animosity shared between you. It was just hard to maintain any kind of relationship in a world like this, and trying to nurture romance in the Boston QZ was much like trying to grow a rose garden in toxic, radioactive soil. You can put as much care and effort and something like love into it as you have in you, but the circumstances will just never allow it to reach its full potential. The end of your “relationship” was mutual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Especially when he had disappeared one day without so much as saying goodbye.
When you had stumbled upon Tommy and a group of patrollers in the snowy forest outside Jackson just earlier today, you were alone, tired, and losing hope that this rumored safe haven even existed at all. You had heard crackles through the radio in the QZ about the community, and even though it sounded too good to be true, what else did you have to lose anymore? After months of travel and survival and pain and hunger, you’d never been so happy to meet a bunch of strangers in the woods in your whole life. You didn’t hesitate to get on the back of Tommy’s horse, and let him lead you to the sanctuary they spoke of.
As he was giving you a tour, proudly showing off their electricity, running water, fresh food, and clean houses, you had started to look forward to what the future may bring, for the first time in a long time. You could never have imagined you’d ever run into Joel again, that this is where he had ended up, of all places. And now here the both of you are, bodies pressed as tightly together as possible, breathing in each other’s familiar scents and never wanting to let go again.
Joel is the first to break the embrace, grasping your head in his large hands and frantically searching your face for any sign that he could be dreaming, that fate hasn’t really brought you back together again after all.
“Jesus Christ, it’s really you,” he breathes, and you swear his voice breaks just a little bit as he presses his lips to your forehead, closing his eyes as he does.
When he blinks them open again, he meets Tommy’s gaze, who’s standing quietly a few yards back from where you’re having your sentimental reunion. Tommy gives an understanding nod, and gestures that he’ll be waiting inside the community’s dining hall, gathering that whatever this is happening between his brother and some girl he only just met, he shouldn’t interrupt. Joel is grateful for many things today, one of them being the rekindled bond he has with Tommy, the other being how you somehow miraculously found your way back to him.
Small groups of other Jackson residents follow Tommy into the dining hall shortly afterward, and as the sun begins to set behind the mountains, Joel realizes it must be about time for dinner to be served.
He detaches his lips from your forehead, brushing some of your hair away from your face as he takes you in again. “You poor thing, must be starvin’ I bet,” he wonders aloud, giving you a sympathetic look.
“Kinda always am, just as a rule, but yeah,” you reply, trying to make light of your situation. Though, Joel doesn’t seem to find the humor in it the way you do.
“Long as you stay here, ain’t ever gotta worry about that again, that’s for damn sure.” He runs his tongue across his lips as he finishes his sentence, already knowing that whatever meal they’re serving tonight, it’ll be some of the most delicious food he’s had in a long time. He suspects you’ll feel much the same. “C’mon, let’s get you inside. Get you warm and fed for once in your life.”
–
Your heart, your stomach, your soul, all feel full as you relax into the comfortable couch in the living room of Joel’s cozy home. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of you staying in an empty house all by yourself tonight, insisting that if you’d like some company while you settle in, you were more than welcome to his. He had let you spend as long as you wanted to in his shower, and he didn’t mind if there was hardly any warm water left by the time you were done. He sure as hell wasn’t paying the bill, and you deserved to feel truly clean. He can remember clear as day how he felt after his first Jackson shower, like he had stripped off a layer of grime he hadn’t been able to scrub all the way clean in twenty years. He had gone to Maria to get you some clothes and underwear while you were bathing, and set them silently on the sink counter for you to put on whenever you were done.
And now here you sit, feeling full and clean and satisfied and comfortable and safe, watching Joel stoke the logs in his fireplace as it casts the whole room in a honey orange glow. You take a moment to admire him while he isn’t looking, and even in the dim and flickering lighting, you can see he’s just as handsome as he was the last time you saw him. He looks older, with more gray in his longer hair and meat on his bones, the latter trait likely due to years worth of the hearty cooking you both indulged in tonight. He looks… good like this.
“It really is nice to see you again, you know. You look…” you start, not being able to help the way your eyes wander to his soft lower belly, the way it pushes taut against his tucked-in flannel shirt and just barely spills over the edge of his jeans.
He turns his head away from the fire to face you. You’re not very subtle in your staring, and he knows what you’re referring to right away. He huffs a light chuckle, trying to brush off the way he thinks you’re poking fun at him.
“I know, I know,” he acknowledges, placing a hand on his stomach. “Been tryin’ to get Maria to give me some more patrol shifts, see if I can get some of the weight off. But hey, you try havin’ three square meals a day for the first time in twenty some odd years, see what it does to you, huh?” He pivots his attention back to the fireplace, and he seems to turn his body further away from you on purpose, so that you can’t see the round profile of his tummy as much.
“No! No, it, um… It suits you. I was gonna say you look good, actually.” You’re quick in your reply, trying to make it clear that you didn’t mean to offend him, without letting too much on.
He scoffs. “C’mon, you don’t gotta flatter me, sweetheart. I know I don’t exactly look the way you remember–”
“Joel, will you stop?” you interrupt, your voice laced with exasperation. “I’m being serious. Do I look like I’m making fun of you?”
He cranes his neck to look back at where you’re perched on the couch, and gives you a once over. “Guess not… Look a lil’ like somethin’ else, though, if I'm bein’ honest,” he says with a teasing smirk. And there he is again, the same quick-witted Joel you remember from back in the QZ.
You choose to engage in his banter, just to see where he’s going with it. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
He shrugs, beginning to mindlessly poke at the firewood again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look like you might like it.”
He’s just kidding around with you, trying to rile you up, you’re sure. But when he gets silence in return instead of the sound of you jumping to defend yourself with another playful jab, he turns to face you once more, and is met with your stunned expression.
“Oh…” Joel looks down at himself, then back to you again, just in time to catch your eyes flitting from his middle back up to his face. “What, you like ‘em big, sweetheart? ‘S that it?”
The truth is, you do, you always have. It was never a requirement, of course, as the guys you’d been with before Joel all had varying body types. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said that your eyes didn’t linger just a bit longer on guys with a little more to them, with wider arms and thicker legs and a softer middle. You’ve never admitted your preference to anyone before, and Joel calling you out on it now has your face running hot, skin feeling prickly as he sees through you like you’re made of glass.
“I-I don’t– I mean, I do, kinda, but not like that… Well, it is like that, I just mean–” You stumble over yourself, fearing you’ve revealed too much, wishing you could rewind the conversation and just tell him it was nice to see him again, plain and simple.
Joel lays the fire poker down on the granite ledge of the fireplace, approaching where you’re sitting and cupping the side of your face with his calloused hand.
“Sh, sh, stop, baby. ‘S alright if you do, nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he comforts, and it takes all the willpower you have left not to let your eyes drift down to his stomach, so close you could kiss it, if he’d let you.
“It’s just… I missed you. I thought about you all the time, wondered what ever happened to you after you left. Didn’t even know if you were alive until today. I’m just happy to see you… doing so well. To see that you’re healthy, and everything.” You swallow hard, hoping you sound convincing enough that he’ll let this go, forget all about your little admission just now. But of course, Joel is as stubborn as he’s ever been, and he doesn’t plan on releasing you from his trap now that you’re ensnared in it.
“That’s sweet, baby, ‘s real sweet,” Joel says, softly, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he speaks. “Thought about you too, all this time. Practically every day…” He rakes his eyes over you, noticing the way his touch has you starting to melt already, how you’re looking up at him with your wide, needy eyes. “Why don’t you show me just how much you missed me, hm? How much you love seein’ me healthy, as you put it.”
You’re stunned into silence once again, jaw slack and pupils wide as you search his gaze for proof that he’s just messing with you, making fun of you just to watch you squirm. But you don’t find any.
“O-okay,” you agree in a half-whisper.
Joel smiles down at you, satisfied. “All these years later, still just the sweetest thing, ain’t you? You still just as obedient, too?”
You nod without even thinking, words catching up with your instinctual response a second later. “Mhm, yeah, I am…” You had forgotten how easy it is to submit to him, how good it feels to let the hypnotizing tone of his voice carry you somewhere far away from yourself, when you need it the most. Whether it was after a shitty day of working for shittier rations in the QZ, or after a harsh trek in harsher weather to a forested oasis, Joel always knows how to make you feel like submission is your most natural state.
“Good… Kneel for me please, sweetheart,” he commands, and you obey immediately, his hand slipping from your face as you slide from the couch onto the woven carpet beneath you. Like second nature, your hands automatically fold themselves on your lap, remembering how you were never to touch Joel until he permitted you to. He takes note of this, and praises you accordingly. “Look at that, didn’t even have to ask. Such a good girl.”
He’s so enamored with you, he almost forgets where he was going with this until he watches your eyes flash to the growing bulge in his jeans, then back up to him. “Not tonight, sweetheart. Was thinkin’ you could put that pretty mouth to use on somethin’ different this time, hm?”
You knit your brows together, not sure what he means, but he doesn’t let you wonder for long. Slowly, he starts to unbutton his flannel shirt, starting at the top and working his way down. He tosses it onto the ground, then pulls his undershirt off over his head, adding it to the other discarded clothing. Without the confines of his slightly-too-tight button-up, you can see how much he really has filled out. Everything about his upper body is just a little more plush, with petal pink stretch marks adorning the soft skin in various places. You want to make it your personal mission to kiss each and every one of them, commit their exact coordinates on his body to memory.
There's a deep scar, you notice, to the left of his belly button, that has almost successfully disguised itself as one of those pretty marks. It’s definitely new since you saw him last, and it looks like it hurt, especially with the evidence of how crudely it had been stitched back together.
“What happened?” you wonder aloud, worried eyes glued to the healed injury.
He has to peer over the curve of his belly to see what you’re looking at. “Long story. Happened on my way out here, after I left Boston. Nothin’ for you to worry about, sweet girl, hardly even hurt. Forget it’s even there, most of the time,” he answers, still with a dominant edge to his voice that does a mostly good job of convincing you it’s the truth.
“Can… Can I?” you ask, waiting to receive his permission before you move your hands from your lap.
“Yeah, baby, go ahead,” Joel allows.
You reach out a small hand to gently trace over the raised scar, then press your lips to it with your hands splayed out on either side of your head, just barely pressing into his belly. He releases a soft groan, cradling the back of your head with one of his hands, applying the lightest amount of pressure to let you know this is where he wants to keep you.
“Why don’t you keep goin’, sweetheart? Gimme some more lovin’ like that, know you wanna,” he encourages, and you think you get the idea now, what it is he wanted to put your pretty mouth to use for.
With his explicit permission to continue, you don’t need telling twice. You move your face to hover just in front of his belly button, admiring the dense salt and pepper happy trail that sprouts from where his jeans push into his soft skin. You drag your tongue along the hair, nipping at the soft curve of where it disappears into the divot in his stomach. He makes a noise in response, half pained and half pleasured, but he doesn’t stop you. Just for good measure, you place a kiss to the little blushing mark where your teeth had scraped him.
Almost of their own volition, it seems, your hands begin to knead at his stomach as you make good on your promise to yourself to kiss every single one of his stretch marks. You allow your tongue to dart from your mouth on the last one, and Joel sucks in a breath.
“Oh, fuck. Forgot how good that wet lil’ mouth feels on me, sweetheart. Keep goin’,” he says, voice coming out strained. His fingers curl tightly into your hair, and he begins to maneuver your face around his belly. You lave your tongue over his skin as he does, slicking him with wet, sloppy kisses. “Yeah, baby, you fuckin’ worship it, show me how much you like me like this.”
It’s a little humiliating, but just enough that you like the feeling. You’re breathing hard and fast, letting out little whimpers as your fluttering cunt begins to soak your underwear. He brings your face to a stop at the most tantalizing part of him, the part that truly evidences how much more he’s allowed himself to indulge since settling in Jackson. The ample curve of flesh that just barely conceals the waistband of his jeans, the part you’ve wanted to get your mouth on since you first saw how it strained the lower buttons of his shirt. You latch onto it, massaging the skin around it as you use your teeth and tongue to suck a mark into him.
A growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and he curses under his breath. “Like it that much, huh? Fuck, naughty thing, look at you.”
You’re so fucking turned on, you’re shivering, rocking where you kneel and squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to get some kind of relief. You let one of your hands drift to the hard shape in Joel’s jeans, and it seems he’s enjoying this as much as you are. He spots your pathetic little squirms as you rut against nothing, and then he’s using his grip on your hair to pull you up from the floor.
“Got an idea. Up,” he commands roughly, and you detach your lips from his belly to obey his order. “Get these off, there we go.” He pulls down your sweatpants and underwear, helping you step out of them. “Christ, you’re soaked,” Joel teases, eyeing the sizable wet spot in your panties as he tosses them aside to join the other forgotten clothing. He reaches a hand toward the apex of your thighs, teasing your wet pussy and gathering some of your slick on two of his fingers. You let out a tiny yelp, but let him play with you, and then he’s bringing his fingers in front of his face and examining the sticky strings of your arousal when he spreads them apart. “All this just from lettin’ you worship all this, huh?” he taunts, patting his stomach once for emphasis. “Who’d’ve thought? Not that I’m complainin’...”
He quickly rids himself of his jeans and briefs, then reclines onto the couch with a quiet groan, stretching out his body along the length of it. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking as it bobs against his belly, his precum adding to the dampness still there from your tongue. “Come sit, sweetheart,” Joel says, softly, motioning with both of his hands for you to come closer.
You grip a hand onto the backrest of the couch to balance yourself while you move to straddle him, prepared to sink down onto his length for the first time in way too fucking long. “Uh uh, not there, baby,” he instructs, smirking when he sees how you hesitate in confusion. “Take a seat right here for me.” Again, he pats that most tempting area of his lower belly, and you just about fall apart at the sight of how his flesh ripples in the wake of it.
“Yeah, there you go, good girl,” he praises, both hands gripping your waist as he helps you settle your weight onto his soft abdomen.
“I dunno, don’t wanna hurt you–” you start, but he cuts you off swiftly.
“You won’t, baby. I’m a big man, ain’t I?” he teases, flashing you a devilish and knowing smile. “Go on, sweetheart, ride it.”
You inhale a shuddering breath, then place both of your hands on his shoulders to hold yourself up. You start an experimental buck into his belly, and that trail of dark hair tickles your clit so perfectly. It takes a few tries for you to get the positioning and pressure just right, and then you’re truly riding him, using his full stomach to get yourself off while he watches.
“God, that’s good. Use it, baby. You love me bigger, love that I’ve been eatin’ so good, prove it to me, c’mon,” Joel goads, and it spurs you on to grind against him harder, faster, as incoherent mumbles and curses tumble from your lips.
“Love it, Joel, you look so good, fuck. So fucking–mmh–so big, makes me so… so–”
“I know it does, sweet girl, I know. Makes you fuckin’ soaked is what it does, god damn. You gonna get my belly all messy, hm? Gonna rub your lil’ cunt all over it, get me all fuckin’ wet?”
“Uh huh, yeah, gonna… I’m gonna–” you whine, eyes shutting tight as your hips pick up their pace. You move your hands from his shoulders to place them on his stomach instead, grabbing at handfuls of his tummy in an effort to create something more solid to rub yourself against.
You’re already embarrassingly close, the humiliating edge to your earlier worship having gotten you most of the way there on its own. So swollen and sensitive it almost hurts, you won’t need much more to reach your high.
“Not without me, you ain’t. Gonna be right there with ya. You remember how we used to do it?” Joel asks, as if you could ever forget. He’s referring to your many late nights, early mornings, in his bed or in a back alley or wherever in the QZ, where he liked to make sure you both finished at the same time. You’d always be the first one to reach the edge, because he’d focus all his attention on getting you there before him, just to make you wait. It was never something punishing, just something he liked to do as an extra bit of control and dominance, and he knew it always made your orgasms that much more powerful and satisfying when he would finally permit you to let go.
With your eyes closed, so focused on your own pleasure, you hadn’t noticed that he had reached behind you to start fisting his cock some time ago. But you can hear it now, the wet schlick of his hand moving up and down his shaft as he works himself. “Hold it for me, sweetheart, I know you can. Keep rubbin’ your pretty pussy against me, jus’ like that, almost there…”
You mewl, screwing your face up as you force yourself to slow down your thrusts, muscles tense as you try to keep your orgasm at bay for as long as you can.
Thankfully, he must be worked up enough from seeing you fall apart for him so easily for the first time in so long, that his permission comes just a few minutes later.
“Come for me, babygirl, soak my fuckin’ belly, c’mon,” Joel growls, and you fall forward immediately, twitching and spasming and crying out into the soft muscle of his shoulder as you ride out the shuddering shocks of your orgasm. He groans next to your ear as he comes, and you can feel the warm ropes of his own release as some of them land on your lower back. You’re both wet, heaving messes, as you embrace each other for the second time today and work on catching your breath.
So exhausted from the day you had, you must’ve fallen asleep against his chest as you laid there, because then you’re being woken up by the dull scratch of his fingertips against your scalp and his familiar voice working its way through the thick fog that clouds your tired brain.
“You alright, baby?” he asks, and you can hear that he’s smiling, amused at this sleepy little thing he’s got clinging to him.
“Mhm, jus’ tired,” you answer, a barely-there mumble of a sentence.
“I’ll bet… You wanna get cleaned up? Get all tucked into bed?”
You shake your head against his neck, and he chuckles.
“No? Whatcha wanna do then, hm?”
“Jus’ lay here. Missed you. Don’t wanna let… go…”
Your sentence drifts off into silence before the temptation of sleep allows you to finish it, but Joel gets the idea. He smiles to himself, kissing the top of your head, and hugs you closer. Both of you are still sticky and damp, but satisfied. And together again. And that’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.
So he agrees, and you stay like that for the rest of the night. Joel doesn’t worry about whether or not he remembered to set his alarm clock for his extra patrol shift the next morning, or if he’ll even hear it all the way from his bedroom upstairs, because it doesn’t matter anyway. He has you, and you made it very clear tonight just how much you like him exactly the way he is.
Maybe, your rose garden can finally begin to bloom, now that the pair of you have somewhere safe and comfortable and healthy to try your hand at nurturing it again.
tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)
#my writing#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#daddy!joel miller#joel miller smut
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more smutty scenarios for monster trio x fem!reader
EVERYONE IS 18+ (minors please dni !)
a/n: sooo, i elaborated… switched it up a little from the original idea but basically just how i think some sleepy sex scenarios w the op men would go (please bear with me i wrote this while sleep deprived and have not touched it since)
don’t forget to like, reblog, and comment to support my work! mwah <3
“good morning”
luffy
wakes up with his arms wrapped around you, head in your chest, knees brushing yours
his head is all fuzzy with sleep, and you’re scent is surrounding him like a warm blanket
he’s already smiling all dopey and sleepy before he even opens his eyes
just bc he knows you’ll be there when he does
when you’re eyes flutter open he can’t help but stare at you
and maybe you have a little drool at the corner of your mouth, and maybe your hair looks like a total mess, but he couldn’t care less
he thinks you look so beautiful and sweet the way you’re looking at him, and then when you yawn out a soft “good morning” he can’t help but kiss you
because he can’t keep his hands (or his mouth in this instance) off of you for more than like 5 minutes max
he kisses soft little sweet pecks to your lips over and over until you’re both giggling, and he’s kissing all over your face
he’ll genuinely kiss every single inch of your face until he winds up back at your lips
except this time his kisses aren’t little sweet pecks
they’re still gentle and slow, but so much deeper
and then he’s slipping his tongue into your mouth and you guys are fully making out
his hands are slowly roaming up and down the sides of your body
luffy is usually pretty fast paced and straight to the point, so you only really get him at this speed when he’s tired ^^
things will get heated pretty quickly, languid, sloppy kisses paired with you hooking a leg around his waist
he’d firmly grab at your hip, bringing you down against his rapidly growing erection at a steady and slow rhythm, both of you still in your underwear
he’d be so gentle and tender about it
not wanting it to be too much for you
you stay curled up against each other on your side, invading each others space in the beat way
he loves being so close to your face
being able to watch you so closely as your lips part and your eyebrows furrow
he’s all smiley and fucked out already and you’ve barely done anything
but you’re so warm, and you’re soft little whimpers are so pretty, and you feel so good rubbing against him
his arm is wrapped around you, pulling you as close to him as possible, because he just wants to feel all of you
hand under the thin material of your t-shirt, cool against your warmed skin, he flips you so that you’re straddling him
and he’s still moving your hips to grind against him as he lives on you
his already blunt nature would increase tenfold, because he has absolutely no filter when he’s sleepy
he would also be mumbling and slurring his words because talking is too much effort
“feel s’good”
“lips are sooo soft”
“wanna cum together, can y’do that?”
he’ll absolutely melt if you rest your hand on his cheek or his jaw while you let him make you feel good
and he loves it if you litter sleepy kisses on his face and neck
loves when you get all mushy and melt into him, trusting him to take care of you
his hairs a mess, and his voice is scratchy with sleep, and his chest is warm against yours
his eyes stare at you like you built the earth from the ground up
your body feels like a live wire just from the intensity behind his gaze alone
he would just continue to gently manhandle you until you both cum in your underwear together, panting and whining soft little moans into each others mouths and grasping at each other like a lifeline
“good morning”
gets super energized and bubbly like 10 minutes after
probably walks to breakfast shirtless, hair still a mess, and the biggest grin on his face, dragging you along while your kiss bitten lips are still red
everyone knows
zoro
let’s be real, zoro’s always a little sleepy
like 85% of the time he just wants to take a nap
and sometimes his desire to sleep does not line up well with your needs
you’d find him laying down with his arms crossed, clearly trying to get some shut eye after a training session
but you’ve been waiting all day to get him alone
and watching him train does not help with your desires
but now the stars are out, and everyone else has gone off to bed, and you just wan’t the uncomfortable ache to go away
so you curl up beside him, his arm instinctively wrapping around you because he has your body committed to memory
an eye pops open to look at you anyway
he doesn’t say anything, giving you the space to use as you please
he knows you want something the second he looks at you
the way you smile up at him all coy and fiddle your fingers against his chest
“hi”
“hi”
…
you lay there in silence for a while after that, and he closes his eyes again
then you start kissing him
sweet little pecks across his chest, up his collarbone, his neck, his jaw, his cheek, making your way to his lips-
“did you want to ask me something?”
he’s very straight forward and to the point, and he doesn’t want you to beat around the bush if you have something you want to say
but then your hiding your face in his chest, core pressing ever so subtly against his thigh
and of course he notices, because he’s in tune with every little thing about you
“ohhh, i see. is that what this is about?”
he presses his thigh harder against your clothed cunt, almost like a test, reveling in the little whimper it pulls from your lips
he loves being right, especially when it comes to how well he knows you
he would compete in a trivia all about you if he could and he would probably win by a landslide
he’d reach his hand down, so close to where you need him, but not yet giving you what you want
he likes teasing you and getting you all whiny and eager
“want me to take care of this for you?”
“please-“
no matter how tired he is, he’ll always take care of you when you need him
especially when you ask so nicely
besides, the fact that you’re needy for him is enough to make him a little wound up himself
if he’s really tired he’ll let you ride his thigh, helping your hips move back and forth at a lazy pace
“is that better? does that feel good, hm?”
“thats it, just keep going like that”
“just get yourself there, sweetheart”
“doing such a good job”
but sometimes he’ll even let you ride his dick, relaxing into the pleasure and watching the view as you chase your release
“slow down, sweetheart, it’s not a race”
“yeah, shit- nice and easy, just like that”
“i know, honey, you’re so close”
he’ll leave lazy kisses all across your collar bone and your shoulder, and soothing strokes of his thumb on your hips
eyes lidded and tired
when you’re hips start to stutter and it all feels like too much, he will not let up no matter how tired he is
because all he wants is to make you feel better
and he loves watching you slowly unravel
he’ll grind your hips himself when it all becomes too much, pulling you down harder and watching in awe as you come undone on top of him
definitely a good relaxer before bed
gets both of you warm and fuzzy and ready to fall asleep wrapped up in each other
sanji
you’re already in bed and half asleep when sanji comes in
he curls up into your back, moving your hair aside to leave delicate kisses up your should and neck, landing at the sweet spot behind tour jaw
the action makes you stir, whining a little and shuffling around, a little fruatrated at being woken up
“hello, my darling.”
he greets between kisses, working at your sweet spot until you let out another pretty whine
his hips twitch involuntarily into your ass, and you come to your senses a little bit when you feel how painfully hard he is
“sanji, it’s too late for this”
you go to turn and look at him but he hold you in place
“no need to move, dove. you don’t have to do anything at all”
“just relax, i’ll do all the work”
“just need to be inside you so badly, mon amour”
“please let me feel you”
his desperate words, whiny tone, and sweet kisses are all more than enough to make your panties damp
he’ll pull your panties to the side under your night dress, holding you close to his chest as he slowly eases himself inside you
his mouth presses tender kisses right under your ear, allowing you to hear all of his pretty noises loud and clear
he’s absolutely desperate, having watched you walk around in a pretty little dress all day
his hips move almost on their own, needily rutting into you from behind with strings of “thank you”s flowing from his lips
of course now you’re really needy too
“shit- harder. need it, please-“
and his hips are pressing into you harder before you can even finish your sentence
he can’t last very long, because you’re squeezing him so well, and your so warm and wet, and he’s practically trembling with pleasure from being on edge all day
but he wants to feel you cum first
so he brings he fingers down to gently swirl against your clit, coaxing you towards the edge
“i’m so close, my love”
“you feel so amazing”
“want to feel you cum around me. will you let me feel you, angel?”
“please cum for me, darling”
so you do, and he follows suit seconds after you, eyes rolling back into his skull as he buries his face in your neck
asks open!
#brairslair#brairs fics#one piece x reader#one piece smut#one piece sanji#one piece zoro#one piece luffy#one piece#opla#opla zoro#opla sanji#opla luffy#opla x reader#opla smut#monkey d. luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy smut#luffy smut#zoro smut#roronoa zoro smut#roronoa zoro x reader#sanji smut#vinsmoke sanji smut#vindmoke sanji x reader#fic writing#requests open
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Omg so like I want to hear your thoughts on perv!Megumi like finally after so long of Gojo teasing him for being in college for two years at this point and being single, he’s finally procured a pretty girlfriend who’s unfortunately (for her) so naive and sweet??🩷💕 Idk I got shy but I know you’ll do something good with this lol
ik i told u id post this after my wips but i started on it n i couldnt stop i liked the idea too much LOL im sorry for being so confusing D; tysm for the ask though!!! :o i rlly enjoyed writing this!!! (n don’t be shy ahjwhs you’re so lovely T_T♡)
perv!megumi !!! please i feel like he’s the type to be a pervert that’s kinda embarrassed n self aware about himself—especially bc gojo kept teasing him all those years n he was kinda just jacking off to whatever x-rated video that came up first (i feel like perv!megumi is highkey into hentai too but he’s taking that to the grave!!)
n when gets a pretty little girlfriend who acts so cute and who he loves so much, when he gets hard he can’t help but let some of that side of him slip out from time to time...
i think he’s also the type to take lots of pictures,, like pictures while you sleep, peeking through your door while you shower, in clothing store changing rooms while you change, upskirt pictures… he’ll make you his little model!! some of them you know about but some of them you don’t, he’s so lewd.
it’s not just pics of you he takes, it's some of himself too. i feel like one of the things he’d love to do to you is when you tell him to come with you to some random uni event, n he’ll randomly disappear in the middle of it, only to go to the bathroom to take pictures of his hard leaky cock to send you with some casual caption like he didn’t just do that ?!?! he’s crazy (more under the cut)
it’s not megumi’s fault he’s so in his head about you, he still just doesn’t really know how he managed to get someone as pretty and doting as you are as his.
he sometimes feels guilty for being so obsessed with you—your body clad in pretty little outfits that you show off to him with a twirl, the way you’ll always show him your shiny new sparkly nails when you get them done, how he’s always the first one you’ll pick to talk to about something new you’ve found to love—it’s all that seems to be on his mind recently.
maybe it was gojo’s accidental doing, those feelings of guilt. unintentionally planting a little growing seed of shame in him the first few times he started teasing him for not having a partner yet at his ‘big age’, borderline lecturing him with the ‘when i was your age’ stuff—maybe that was the logical reason why he felt so attached to you, the reason he couldn’t help getting fully erect even when he only saw as much as a pair of your flung-away panties lying at the edge of your bed when coming to your room one day.
but when he recalls back to those nights where you’re innocently cuddled against him, watching whatever movie, a quiet ‘megumi?’ leaving your lips as a sign to tell him you’re falling asleep, and he finds himself shifting in his seat, carefully adjusting your head to let you rest comfortably on him, pressing a soft kiss to your hair as he strokes it and tells you a ‘sleep now, angel’, he knows that’s not the reason.
nevertheless, he’s always been worried about it, thoughts of ‘am i doing too much?’ or a ‘would she not like this?’ clouding his mind. but for every single thought like this he has, he’ll always have two more memories where he’s coming up to you, his sweet-faced little girlfriend, waiting for him with open arms and open heart. and to him, it means more than the world.
and as his cheerful sweetheart girlfriend, you’ve never really minded of course.
you know he’s at least a little perverted, asking to take those pictures of you trying on your new swimsuits, or bras, or skirts, or those times when he pulls out after spilling his load into you, and the first thing he does after making sure you’re okay is to go face-to-face with the trail of cum seeping out of you to snap a few photos.
honestly, you’ve gotten used to it at this point. you just take these moments, seeing what you do to him, as a way of reassuring yourself that he really does just love you that much. and he really does. really!! :(
no matter how innocent or dirty the context, he’ll let you know whenever he gets that warm little feeling in his chest.
“i-i love you,” he pants, head coming up from sucking marks on your neck, languid thrusts coming to a gentle stop as he peers up at you with flushed cheeks. it feels like he’s admitting it for the first time again.
when you stare at him with his same love-drunk look, brows furrowed and eyes pleading, whispering out an “i love you too, gumi”, he’ll pause a moment to study your expression before gently raising you further up the bed, hooking his hand under your leg and repositioning it around his waist.
he’ll drop down to press a kiss to your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder and picking up the pace again, now only determined to make you cum.
when he thinks of times like these, despite what you’re doing together, it’s innocent in his head.
a time where that’s not so much the case though is when you persuade him to come with you to some uni exhibition event, looking up at him with hopeful, doe-like eyes and as many ‘pleeeaaase, gumi’s and ‘please, guuuum’s as you could muster—cause it’s not like he could say no to that, right?
at first he put up an act of feign stubbornness. but eventually he agreed—only when he knew you’d excitedly hug him and press your soft chest to his as a thank you for it though.
he’d tour the hall with you, watching you gaze in awe at everything with your cute, simple curiosity, occasionally pointing out little things in the pieces he liked. before the artist began their talk though, he got up from his seat, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before muttering a “‘m g’na go to the bathroom.”
in an empty stall, he’ll sit atop the lid and pull down his jeans, freeing his stiffening cock from his underwear. he quietly groans as he pumps himself a few times, a slow trickle of translucent white leaking down from his tip.
he silently curses, throwing his head back, thinking about how you let him flip up your pretty skirt before you left, letting him take a peek at your cute ass in the frilly panties he bought for you.
he reaches for his phone, fumbling to send a picture of the sight to you, adding a casual caption of something like ‘hi pretty girl’ or ‘u look so pretty today, angel’.
he pauses, realising that maybe you won’t see it for a little while. he’s imagining you so obediently listening to the artist speaker to notice the ping of his notification—he enjoys that thought too, but he can’t say why.
he’s careful not to thrust up into his fist, not wanting to make too much noise, but it’s futile—he’s too hard staring at the lewd shots of you saved in his secret hidden album—the way you act so innocently, the way you have no clue what the true extent is of what you do to him. he can’t help but let a few breathy whines slip.
he won’t let himself cum though, thinking he’s too good to be letting himself release over some scrunched up, bathroom tissue when he’s got his own pretty little girlfriend waiting for him a few halls down.
he sighs. cleaning up and tucking himself back into the band of his briefs, leaving the stall and washing his hands, walking back out like nothing happened.
#ywuji#this is so long n so rambly HAHEHW#i rlly had fun writing this tho#i wld love to write more :00#the last part is For Sure tacked onto the end but i wanted to include it bc i talked abt it alr Lol#apologies U_U#megumi smut#megumi fushiguro smut#fushiguro smut#megumi x reader#fushiguro x reader#megumi headcanons#fushiguro headcanons#jjk smut#jjk thirsts#jjk x reader#anime smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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INVISIBLE STRING — CASSIAN!
pairing: cassian x morrigan (half) sister reader
notes: :3 hi hi this is so scary. i haven’t posted a full thought out fic in probably a year (crazy) and i would like to say i have not finished the series so if timeline is inaccurate and just plots don’t make sense w canon it’s bc im still on acowar :p but cassian has taken over my brain and i can’t get him out of it !!!! c: part two is already being worked on bc im so proud of her. i hope u all enjoy it <3 ++ i know mor is described as being blonde and fairly pale in complexion which is why i made reader her half sibling, and there are no descriptions of reader’s physical attributes bc i wanted to kept it as neutral as possible :3
cw: angst, hurt no comfort (yet?), azriel’s shadows being the biggest cassreader shippers ever, unrequited love but really it’s just idiots in love. also mentions (brief) of abuse from keir (gross!)
Your fingers nervously fumbled with the straps of your leathers. Heart pounding in your ears as you forced yourself to drop the nervous jitters, fingers balling into tight fist to stop their trembling.
It had been a long time since you had last seen your family. A long time since your gaze met violet eyes, or your nose scented cedar wood and night chilled mist. The lingering scent of sea salted water and citrus, and fresh paint and vanilla, and sweet wine and roses had nearly erased from your memory. But what you missed the most was the red gleam of siphons that glowed ruby red under certain light.
Truly, in an immortals life time half a decade was just a blip in time, minuscule, but you had never been gone this long from them. Especially not from Rhys, Az, Mor, and Cassian, with the exception of Rhysand’s imprisonment under the mountain.
You blinked away the burning in your eyes as you pushed open the doors of the town house. Soft chatter growing cold at the unexpected intrusion. You had barely enough time to register everyone seated at the table when shadows were zooming past their master to greet you excitedly.
Nuzzling into your hair and neck and arms. Azriel’s shadows had always been so fond of you. Whispering and singing in your ear in a language you could not understand.
They tugged you forward, until you were stumbling clumsily as they dragged you towards Cassian. An ache settled deep in your chest as you fought against them gently, moving between Azriel and Rhys. You missed the flash of hurt in hazel eyes as you avoided him.
Five years later and he still didn’t know the truth of your departure. Before your thoughts could send you spiraling, Rhys’ voice called your name. An undeniable smile in his voice before his arms were enveloping you, “Cousin, you’re back.”
“I am.” Your throat felt thick, tongue heavy as you fought back tears. His scent had always comforted you, Rhys had given you and Mor a chance. A lifeline in the sea that you were drowning in, in Hewn City.
Two sisters, both forced into a world that was cruel and unkind. Morrigan as rightful Heir of Keir had experienced the brunt of it all. From being stuffed into tight dress, to being pranced around in front of grimy men, and nearly forced into a life with a male whose family’s cruelty knew no bounds.
Your torment had been in forms of neglect and isolation. Your father had never much cared for you, being a product of affairs, his bastard, he left you alone. Barely acknowledged your presence when at the mere age of nine you were thrown into his arms from your mother’s father, stating you were no longer his responsibility since your mother’s death. Your father’s neglect, you now realized, had been a blessing.
You were Mor’s shadow. Clinging to her as any younger sister would. Always causing trouble until you learned to obey. Mor never let you experience the abuse from your father fully. Always taking the blame, always hiding you. You owed her and Rhys, your family, everything.
There was a soft clearing of a throat that pulled you and your High Lord apart. Shadows greedily pulling you to face everyone else. Azriel’s hazel eyes assessing you, looking for any injuries before his fingers were squeezing your elbow gently. A soft hello.
Your eyes flickered around the room, and you realized just how much had changed. Your High Lady, and dear friend seated at the head of the table, Rhys by her side. Besides him sat Azriel and then Elain.
Your throat tightened as you allowed your eyes to flicker to the other side, Nesta beside Feyra, and Cassian beside her. Amren had most likely skipped out dinner to enjoy the privacy of her apartment, and Mor was no longer around. Preferring to spend her time on the continent.
The golden thread that tied you to the Lord of Bloodshed sung loudly and happily in your chest. Five years since you had last laid eyes on him and the feeling alone nearly brought you to your knees.
Your eyes flickered away from Cassian, ignoring the way your heart and soul begged you not to. “Is my room still available?”
Feyra sent you a soft smile, sad really, as she realized how desperately you wished to find some peace and quiet. She knew of your affections for the General, and how you had never told him only to watch him fall in love with her sister.
“Of course it is, but you should join us.”
You swallowed roughly at Rhys’ words, unable to stop the gnawing pain in your heart and the cruel words circling in your mind. Cassian was not yours, he had never been and it was unfair of you to expect him to love you the way you had always yearned for him too. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, it always fucking hurt.
“I’m quite tired, maybe tomorrow.” Rhys didn’t push, just affectionately tucked your hair behind your pointed ear and let you go.
Your steps were quick, hurried and Cassian’s voice sounded like smooth velvet as he called your name. You didn’t stop, your knees nearly buckling under your weight as you forced yourself to keep walking.
Mumbling a quiet, “Goodnight,” before disappearing into the hallways in search of your bedroom.
During your five years away at Day the turmoil in your heart had eased, if only slightly. Cassian would unintentionally send his emotions down the bond, and it seemed it always happened when your heart had finally let you rest.
When you finally saw light at the end of a never ending tunnel of despair, the mating bond would reel you in, viciously and unforgiving. You were sure you were being punished.
How dare you ever try to question what the Mother wanted for you?
Being back in Velaris, being back home, felt so much worse. With the distance, even when his emotions poured into your very bones, it felt weakened. Less tethered to you.
But now? Now you felt his sorrow so deeply tears fell freely down your cheeks.
You had only been trying to sleep for a few hours, your rest had been fitful at best, anxiety prickling at your fingertips as you threw the warm blanket off of you. You needed air. You needed clarity.
Your feet moved on their own. From what you last knew there were no longer many residents here. You were careless in thinking so as your feet moved hurriedly through the house and out into the garden.
Filling your lungs with air as tears prickled at your eyes, the cold nipping at your skin as you sunk into one of the benches placed around the area.
You had only been in his presence for a mere five minutes and your heart was already waging a war against you.
Maybe you could convince Rhys to send you off once again. Your years away at Day had been filled with research and insight, maybe you could do the same at Dawn. Or any other Court that wasn’t here. Gods, you’d even take the forsaken libraries in the Hewn City if it meant not being here. You’d beg if you had too because this, this was too much.
You let out a shaky breath as your mind ruthfully plagued you with memories of the past. Of your utter devastation of hearing that Mor had slept with Cassian.
Of the guilt you felt after, when you avoided her in anger and utter jealousy and then told of the way she was savagely left to die.
You would never forgive yourself.
Remembering when you realized you were utterly and hopelessly devoted to your life long friend, and learning to live with just having a small part of him for you.
Hoping and praying to the Mother that he’d love you back. Hoping to see a spark of honeyed warmth, or a lick of jealousy when you found solace in the warmth of another. Anything, you prayed and prayed, but she never answered.
Not until you had pinned him down on the training matt, wings sprawled out beneath him as you stared at him smugly. A soft, primal, smirk on his face as he gripped your thighs. “You’re getting better.”
Your laughter filtered through the open area, “Only ‘better’? I just kicked your ass.”
He grunted, tugging you gently and in a quick succession of movements had flipped you over, pinning you to the ground. His thighs caged over yours, pinning your hands above your head as he sent you a toothy smile.
The wind that had been knocked out of you was not due to the fact your back had hit against the matt, but because something snapped inside of you. An invisible golden thread, darting from your chest to his, so visceral you could almost taste it, singing happily at finally being acknowledged.
But he gave no indication that he had felt the mating bond snap into place, “Yes, ‘better’. Because you should know not to let your guard down.”
Your speechlessness could’ve been a product of being bested in sparring, your mind racing with things to say but nothing came out.
The fog that had formed in your brain cleared at the bark of laughter that left Azriel, “If you two are done flirting, get back to sparring or leave the ring.”
You don’t remember what excuse you used to suddenly needing to leave but you did. Hope sparkling in your chest at what you thought was an answered prayer by the Mother. He was yours, just as much as you were his.
Only for the ember to burn to ash quickly, as two nights after Cassian had come to you looking for guidance on how to court Nesta.
You tried so hard, pushing down the mating bond that roared and screamed in utter agony as he spilled to you his affections for the eldest Archeron.
Your heart stuttering and begging for release of this pain as your mind caught up to you. He’d never see you. He hadn’t before, so what would be so different now? What would suddenly make you worthy in his eyes? The mating bond?
You realized quickly that you didn’t want that. Didn’t want him to love you just because fate decided to pair you together. You wanted him to love you, to yearn for you the way you had for him without something telling him to.
So with a forced smile you consoled him. Running your fingers through his hair and giving him advice on how to win her heart.
Some days you cursed yourself for that night. You wished you had been selfish and told him he was yours. But then the guilt would settle and you knew you’d never have the heart to force that onto your dearest friend.
In the end all you wanted was his happiness, if that was with someone else then you’d have to learn to live with it.
It had all led up to the night where you accidentally walked in on Nesta and Cassian in the kitchen at the House of Wind, lips and tongues tangled.
The mating bond felt like it was burning you alive from the inside out, angry and volatile as it blamed you for pushing him into her arms.
You’re not sure how you ended up in Rhys office, your face pressed into him as your fingers tried to claw at the hurt in your chest, “Make it stop, Rhys. Gods please, just make it stop.”
He had never seen you like this, never seen you in such despair as he tried to calm you down. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to help you.
Only held you in his arms and sang a lullaby his mother had always sang to the three of you as children. Your desperation and pain eased and numbness eventually coated your insides.
“Send me away.”
He hesitated, wiping your tears as Feyra’s soothing touch caressed your back. His violet eyes shining with hurt and concern for you, “What are you running from?”
Your thoughts were interrupted by the deep timber of a voice you were so familiar with,“Is it just me, or are you avoiding me?”
Heat quickly ran from your skull down to your spine at the velvety voice that belonged to Cassian. Your back tensing uncomfortably as you turned to look at him.
You refrained from letting your eyes glaze down his form. Bare chested and wings lazily held up as his brows furrowed when he took you in.
“Cassian-what are you doing here?”
You stood up from your seated position as he moved closer. His eyes never leaving yours, “Here as in the gardens or here as in my home?”
Your brows furrowed, were he and Nesta now permanently in the town house? It would’ve made sense, seeing as they were all here, having dinner earlier.
“In-in the gardens.”
His lips twisted up into a small quirk of a smile, his eyes lingering on your face as if trying to reacquaint himself with your features.
Your heart lurched to your throat as his gaze lingered on your lips before he looked back into your eyes. “I heard you walking around. Wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“How did you know it was me?”
His lips tugged into a proper smile this time, “Who else could it be?”
He couldn’t bring himself to tell you that he’d long ago familiarized himself with the sound of your steps.
Your brows pinched together, full lips tugging into a small frown, “Where is everyone else?”
“Elain is most likely off in Lucien’s apartment, Azriel is at the House of Wind.”
And despite yourself, you asked, “And Nesta?”
Your throat bobbed softly, heart already preparing itself to hear that she was tangled in his sheets in his room. A soft shrug came from him, muscles flexing deliciously at the movement, “Probably with her mate.”
Your heart stuttered in your chest at his words. Her mate? You were sure the confusion was evident on your face as Cassian laughed. “It’s a bit unfair isn’t it? She was made a measly six years ago, and she’s found who her soul is tethered to, while we’ve been around for centuries and have no luck.”
“Lucky her.”
He hummed, eyes glazing over your face and the look in his eyes was unrecognizable. Warm and honeyed. It made your stomach twist and turn into uncomfortable knots.
“I should go to bed, Cassian. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You made to walk away from him, but his rough fingers wrapped around your forearm in a touch that could only be described as gentle. When you finally looked up at him his brows were pinched together in confusion, and hurt.
“What’s with the full name?”
“It’s yours, isn’t it?”
His eyes narrowed slightly at your words, “You’ve used it on me twice in the span of a few minutes. I’m never ‘Cassian’ to you.”
A stretch of silence passed between the two of you, you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how to act around him anymore.
Gods, you had come around to the idea of seeing him tangled with Nesta. But you were back and he was single. Or at least not with her and you don’t know what you feared most.
That your heart would take this as hope and yearn for him, and watch him fall for another, or to finally tell him how you felt. If it would even mean anything to him, if he’d even want you.
You couldn’t do it, you wouldn’t. You refused to let hope spark in your heart when he had already tangled himself into your very being like overgrown ivy. You don’t know if you’d survive any more rejection.
His voice was softer this time, thick fingers cupping your cheeks and jaw, forcing you to look at him, “You were gone five years and I can barely get five sentences out of you before you’re running away from me.”
Tears stung behind your eyes as your throat tightened at the hurt twinging his voice. It took everything in you to not soothe the crease between his brows, your body tensing softly as his thumb caressed your bottom lip gently, “If I have offended you, or hurt you some how tell me how to fix it. I have been waiting for five years for your return and I cannot stand to think that this whole time you were away you were angry with me.”
You wished you could speak, but your tongue felt heavy. The hurt in his eyes turned to something akin to despair at your silence, his hands dropped from caressing your face to hang loosely by his side, his wings slumped against the floor.
You let out a shuddering breath, forcing yourself to look away from him, “I should go to bed.”
And this time he didn’t stop you.
Weeks had trickled by so slowly since your return to Velaris as you tried to find your place back in your home court.
You had never been particularly good at fighting, your strength came from your knowledge. Books and literature had been something you had clung to as a child and it never left you.
You digested text in a way the inner circle did not, memorized details and names and faces others struggled with. But that did not mean Azriel was any easier on you when it came to training.
The muscles in your abdomen ached painfully, your arms felt heavy and filled with sand as he squared up once more. “I need a break.”
“You need to focus.”
A whine ripped from your throat in protest, Az’s shadows peppering cooling kisses and caresses on your skin to try and comfort you. “Just a few minutes. Please?”
“You think if someone were to try and attack you, they’d spare you if you whined like a petulant child?”
At your silence and glare he continued, “Didn’t think so.”
Your fingers balled into fist as you readied yourself, your muscles heavy with exhaustion as you threw punch after punch his way. “Remain focused, let yourself do what feels instinctual.”
You were sure you would’ve passed whatever Azriel’s standards were had his shadows not wrapped around your legs. Tugging insistently and trying to drag you away.
You heard Azriel’s noise of protest as he tried to rein his shadows back but they refused. Your head turned towards the direction in which they were tugging you in only to be met with Cassian’s warm hazel eyes already on you.
With an accidental misstep you were tumbling forward, falling far too quickly to catch yourself. Your head ringing harshly as the side of your face smacked against the mat.
Someone called out your name in a panic, and you missed the way Cassian had roughly pushed Azriel away from you as he turned you around.
His eyes frayed with worry as your eyes remained unfocused, “Can you look at me, dove?”
You blinked a few times before a groan of discomfort left your mouth, “What the fuck happened?”
Azriel’s shadows sheepishly began to caress your skull, pressing kisses of apologies on your skin. You didn’t hear anything besides tiny wisps of whispers coming from them but you’re were sure they hissed at Cassian as he shooed them away.
It took you a few minutes but you were eventually able to sit. Your ears ringing and still a little dizzy but you were feeling better despite the throb on your temple.
Azriel’s shadows peered at you from behind him sheepishly, and it was only when you extended your hand to them that they swarmed you in a flurry. Rubbing against your neck and hair affectionately, being careful with the side of your face but caressing you softly.
“They say they’re sorry.”
Your lips quirked up at Azriel’s words, “They’re forgiven.”
They buzzed in excitement, before stilling softly as Cassian extended a hand out for the shadows. They treaded carefully, lightly caressing his arm as in apology as if they had also offended him.
A few swirled around your hand and fingers, tugging it much more gently into Cassian’s extended hand. Your cheeks warmed up in embarrassment but before you could pull away, he tangled his fingers with yours.
The shadows swirled around your intertwined hands as if proud of themselves before finally returning to their master. Azriel sent you a soft smirk, and with a shake of his head diseapeared into a mass of dark misty shadows.
“Are you alright?”
You nodded slowly, retorting in exasperation, “Just feels like I hit my head.”
Cassian’s lips tugged into a soft smile, helping you up and not dropping your tangled fingers, “Let’s get you to Madja.”
He pulled you along closely, walking you both towards the edge of the training area. Before you could overthink about being so tangled in his arms he wrapped himself around you. One hand cradling the back of your head to his chest, while the other gripped the back of your thighs.
Your heart pummeled to your stomach as he took off flying, it had been so long since you felt the breeze against your face like this. Your legs wrapping around him as a startled laugh left your mouth.
You felt his laugh more than you heard it, his chest rumbling against yours and for the first time in years, your heart felt at ease around Cassian.
No turmoil or anguish, just overflowing affection and happiness as he flew you carefully around Velaris. Your face tucked away from being so pressed to his chest to look up at him and your breath hitched.
He was truly so beautiful, rough and sharp features that looked like he was made out of stone carving. His lips the perfect shade of dusty rose and plump, his nose fit him beautifully too, slightly crooked at the slope from being broken over the years. White-raised scars on his beautiful tan skin. You were so close you could see the faintest of freckles that doted his skin.
“You didn’t pass out on me, did you?”
Heat bloomed on your cheeks at getting so lost admiring him before you tucked your face back into his chest, “No, I’m fine.”
His fingers squeezed around your thighs as he pulled you closer before he descended down to the Town House.
You were grateful for the hand he kept placed on your back as he walked you into the house. Your dizziness hitting you once again as you landed on solid ground. The warmth running down your spine at his heated touch had you suppressing a shiver.
Your bones ached in protest when he pulled away and sat you down in front of an amused Rhys and exasperated Madja. The elder lady frowning at the bruise on your temple.
“Cassian, I’ve told you not to be so rough when training,” Madja’s soothing voice chastised the General. Your lips tugging into an amused smiled at the noise of protest that left his mouth.
“It was Azriel’s shadows that caused this.”
Madja’s eyes narrowed softly at his words but said nothing more. A hiss leaving your lips as she pushed against the bump forming near your eye.
Cassian’s fingers twitched nervously at the sound of your discomfort. His eyes glued to you as you were looked over by the healer.
Something warm and comfortable hummed in his chest seeing you. The weeks you had been back were nothing short of torture for him.
In the five years you had been gone Cassian came to the devastating realization that he was utterly and unabashedly enamored with you. Cursing himself for the time wasted on pointless lovers, on Nesta, when you had been by his side for the better half of four centuries.
His heart cracking open and knocking him over one restless night as his mind tormented him with everything he had been lacking since you had departed to Day.
He figured that he had always loved you, had always cared for you. But the twisting of his gut in your absences alerted him that it was in a way that was different from Mor and Amren, and then Feyra. His obsession with needing you near, needing you safe stemmed from some thing else entirely.
It took four months of being away from you to realize that. Cursing himself at all the time wasted.
And it wasn’t as if he didn’t try to get ahold of you while you were studying and researching to your hearts content at Day. He had sent letter after letter, received few responses but he had figured you were busy.
His skin had only started to crawl with dread and anxiety when there had been reasons for the Inner Circle to attend a meeting, or some grand ball thrown by Helion, and you were never there.
Either whisked away to some other Court for extended research or taking time away to visit your sister.
The very last time he had stepped foot in Day while you had been there was about three months before your return. Rhys had granted him permission to seek you out.
And when he stepped foot into Day Court’s palace in search of you his hope dwindled as Helion informed him that you had just left a few days prior for a fourteen day tour at Autumn Court. But he swore he scented the soft jasmine and lavender cream that he recognized as your scent roaming the halls.
Resigned, he returned home.
Then you returned, so careful and tense in his presence he wished to turn back back to when things were easier between the two of you. When his face would nuzzle into your soft belly as you ran your fingers through his hair and consoled him after a nightmare.
Or how he’d find his favorite pastries wrapped up on the counter that he knew you’d gone out of your way to get him.
He missed when his feelings hadn’t tangled themselves so deeply into you and he could just be. Gods, did he miss you. He yearned and ached and burned for you while you seemed content at keeping him an arms length away.
The mother could be so cruel.
He barely registered Rhys pressing an affectionate kiss to your bruised temple and mumbling that he was taking Madja back before something so earth shattering was unraveling in his chest.
His eyes wide and chest heaving the second the two of you were alone and your eyes met. A deeply rich golden invisible thread darting from his chest to yours.
He had unconsciously poured all his emotions of recognizing the bond down your connection. A primal need to be closer to you bursting from his chest as he tugged on the bond.
Your breath hitched, but you didn’t seem surprised he noted. Your side of the bond closed off tightly he could feel nothing from your end. He hated that.
Your eyes were wide in apprehension as you stared at him, tears lining your eyes as his emotions of love and devotion were so strong they brought him to his knees before you. Pleading and desperate as he called out your name.
“Don’t do this, Cassian.”
His brows pinched together as he reached for you, the bond screaming in agony as you avoided his touch and stood up to create some space between the two of you.
“Dove, listen to me. Please.” He was not above begging, still kneeled in the center of the room as his wings slumped to the ground. His eyes following your every move as you nervously ran your fingers through your hair.
“I feel it, I feel you.” His fingers and hands were steady as he pointed to his chest despite the feeling of anxiety creeping into him.
“You’re mine, my mate, dove.”
There was a beat of silence, Cassian staring at you as if you had delicately placed every beautiful star in the sky. But you had never seen him look at you like that before.
Never had he inclined he wanted you besides the bond. Gods, did it hurt. Your stomach churned sadly as your fingers balled into fist as you shook your head in denial.
“No. No, you don’t get to just suddenly want me because of the bond. I don’t want it this way.”
His frown deepened at your words, your emotions so heavily felt they started to crack the walls you kept up and pouring into the bond.
You had known for years. Five years, you had known and said nothing. “Gods, Cassian! I have loved you for so long. Prayed and begged to the Mother, to the Cauldron, to the Moon and Stars to have you return my affection and you didn’t.”
Cassian wanted to speak, to protest your words but the frustrated tears pouring down your beautiful face and the agony building in his chest, that was no longer just his, kept him quiet. “I’ve watched you pine and love others, and you have never looked at me that way. You had never thought me worthy of you in that way, and now that you know. It shouldn’t change a thing.”
“But it does,” His fingers itched to devote themselves to you. To memorize every curve and dip on your body. “It changes everything-”
You cut him off before he could continue, before he could tell you that he now felt worthy of loving you. That he now knew he could love you in a way you deserved if the Mother had blessed him with you as his wonderful mate. “Well it shouldn’t.”
You sniffled softly as you stared at him directly in his eyes, “I don’t want it to.”
#cassian#cassian x reader#cassian acotar#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel x reader#rhysand x reader#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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You and Eddie taking one of those romantic bubble baths together in a big jacuzzi and he shaves your pretty pussy for you
Tw: pregnancy
My brain went to reader being pregnant bc they can’t reach bc of their baby belly.
He would be so gentle, helping you into the water making sure you don’t slip and fall. He would put in the jets for you bc he knows your back has been aching from the weight of the baby. Once he also got in he would let you soak for a bit before hand and massage your feet and ankles. He would let you lean up against him and just hold you until you asked him to help shave out of the blue. It has been so long and it was getting long, longer than you liked, and Eddie’s seen everything anyways so why not?
“What no, baby I like your little bush” he smirks
“But that bush is not so little anymore it’s too long you won’t been be able to find my pussy in this jungle I’m growing.” You huff
“Baby you’re being ridiculous, let’s just enjoy the rest of this bath and we will go to bed and I’ll show you how good of an explorer I am.” Eddie laughed.
“Baby please! I don’t feel sexy anymore I just wanna have this one thing” you pout.
“Woah woah woah. Don’t feel sexy anymore? How is that even possible? You’re the sexiest woman I know. You have all the curves a man could dream of… especially now bc your boobies are getting bigger and your ass is getting bigger and knowing your growing our baby… fuck your are my superwoman”
You try and hide yourself in Eddie’s chest but he doesn’t let you. He knows you don’t take compliments very well.
“Look at me baby” you look up at his eyes. Yours were staring to water, the pregnancy hormones were really bad and you cried at everything now. “You really want me to do this for you?” Eddie countered.
“Please” you sniffled.
“Okay baby.” He kisses your head before stepping out of the tub to get your razor and shaving cream.
When he got back he plopped you up on the side of the tub so he could get a good angel to not cut you.
Once he was finished you were really aroused. Having Eddie stair at your pussy, and touching it was getting you worked up. Eddie could see how the blood had rushed to your pussy, making your lips fuller. And now with the hair gone he could see how swollen your clit had gotten and now wet you were. He couldn’t help but lean in and kiss you there but he couldn’t get a good angle because your baby got in the way.
“Come on mama, I gotta treat this pussy right after threatening her with a razor. Gotta show her how much I love her” Eddie pulled you into the bedroom and you had one of the best orgasms of your life
🤭
#TJ’s mailbox#eddie munson x pregnant!reader#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson x you#eddie munson x afab reader#Eddie Munson smut#dad!eddie x mom!reader#dad!eddie x reader#dad!eddie munson#dad!eddie munson x reader#dad!eddie Munson x mom!reader#request
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!! the bachelors when they’re horny
contains ; much suggestive content. fem!farmer. established relationships (marriage). reader has hair that can be put into a ponytail. nsfw, no actual smut. sorta proofread.
note ; here’s another apology for disappearing :,,
harvey.
- the love of my life.
- he’s more of a romantic.
- so he tends to take a sweeter, gentler route into hinting at him being in the mood.
- it’s not a hard task, either.
- this man is so in love with you. when he’s in love, it can just be the sight of you to turn him on.
- some of the easiest, i’d say is anything that reminds him he’s married to you.
- like yeah, of course he knows that, but it always makes his day when he reminds himself of it.
- such as coming home to you, making dinner for you or when you make dinner for him.
- sitting in ur home together, eating and talking about your day. just reminds him of the fact that he gets to do this with you, and no one else does.
- since he knows how busy you are, he absolutely loves being a househusband. spoiling you by doing all the household chores while you work your ass off outside.
- and he genuinely enjoys doing that,
- but on the rarer occasion when you take most of the day off, and he’s out at work—that’s what really gets him.
- the smallest gesture of picking up his empty plate and washing the dishes.
- when you constantly say, “honey, i’ve got it,” as he tries to help…it does something to him.
- it’s a small act of love that shows him you care so much about him without saying it.
- now, maybe it wasn’t your intention to turn him on. i mean, it’s quite literally a regular, basic gesture—
- but here he is. throat aching, palms starting to sweat and his growing hard-on straining in his pants.
- all because you showed basic human decency.
- lol.
- also because it’s the love of his life doing it for him, but still. he can’t help it. he’s just so infatuated with you.
- as for getting the hint across to you? ofc he’s not gonna fucking say it.
- he overthinks everything. and the last thing he’d want is for you to feel obligated just because he wants to.
- but there’s an obvious tell when it comes to harvey, and it’s not just the fact that his cheeks get all red.
- it’s the way he starts to fumble over his sentences, mumbling and stuttering his words.
- he’s not very smooth i fear.
- but that’s what we love about him🫶
- it doesn’t take long to realize you’ve got him tense. feel free to tease him a bit.
- the minute you show you’re on the same page, however, he gets a pick up in his confidence.
- whenever he’s turned on like this, it’s always the best for you.
- his beautiful wife does something sweet for him? then you better believe he’s going to be even sweeter to you.
sam.
- i’ve said this before,
- but it’s not hard to get him in the mood.
- show him even the tiniest sign that you’re horny, and he is too.
- what can i say, he’s a simple man.
- now, don’t mistaken that as anybody that comes along, shows a little affection can turn him on. bc that’s not true. at all.
- in fact, he’s incredibly oblivious to that kinda stuff. if he gets hit on, he’ll just take it as a compliment.
- it’s you that turns him on. it’s your affection. it’s the fact that you want him.
- bc he’s just that in love with you, he gets all excited when he’s in those situations with you.
- SO!!
- he gets so cute when he’s needy.
- he’s always down hug and hold you, trust me. his love language is for sure physical touch.
- even just in general, he has to be holding your hand while you’re standing together, he’s latched onto you when you’re laying together. he’ll even hold onto you as you’re cooking dinner. he loves touching you.
- and when he’s horny it’s no different.
- it’s so random, but one of his major turn ons is watching tie your hair out of your face.
- super casually, too. can be mid-conversation, or he just catches a glimpse of you doing it across the room.
- “your mom wants a me to bring a largemouth bass for dinner tonight, can you feed the chickens please?” your explain as you secure your ponytail with a hairtie.
- he’s all sorts of distracted, obviously listening to your request but he can’t help but focus on the action.
- “yeah, for sure—totally,” he nods, and the minute u walk out the door he has to let out a large huff of breath.
- another thing that vvvv much turns him on is when u walk fresh out of the shower with only a towel on.
- like, i’m talking u can still see the droplets of water on your shoulders, and your hair is soaking to the touch.
- he’s a simple man i said.
- and what’s funny is, he always showers with you.
- so seeing you like that will happen 9/10 times after u shower.
- he looks pretty much identical to you, too. same sopping wet hair and towel around his waist.
- he’s cute with it though. like, ofc he stares at you, but he’s got the cutest smile & obvious flush across his cheeks.
- mumbles a soft, “you just look really pretty,” after you ask about it.
- …idk abt u but he’s getting it after that.
shane.
- there’s no hiding it.
- he’ll straight up tell you.
- honestly, i feel like every time he’s with you or he sees you, he’s always at least a little turned on.
- within reason of course.
- i mean, how can he not be?
- it’s just like, when you’re that in love, he’ll find you beautiful no matter what. and if you’re literally covered in dirt or soot from the mines head to toe, if you tell him ur horny he is not complaining 💀
- simply put, he’s always down.
- he’s very respectful, however. he knows if the time isn’t right.
- but anyways, when he’s rly horny, it’s not hard to figure it out.
- he makes so much more eye contact, and becomes like the most intense listener.
- i don’t want it to sound like he isn’t already a good listener, he’s not an asshole (for the most part <3)
- it’s not like he’s doing the bare minimum just to get in your pants. he becomes such an intent listener because he’s turned on from the way you talk.
- like he’s enchanted. he could listen to you forever. he genuinely wants you to continue.
- when ur lying in bed together before going to bed, casually recapping your day and he can’t help but think about how pretty you look while u innocently put lotion on.
- and then his thoughts wander. and then he’s thinking the other pretty sounds your voice makes.
- and once you finish, you ask a sweet, “so how was your day, handsome?”
- he’s all, “pretty boring. missed you a ton.”
- you’re too deep in your relationship to know his compliment is also a pickup line, and that his thumb rubbing your thigh isn’t him just showing affection.
- it’s only a matter of time before he’s looking over at you with the smallest smirk and glazed eyes.
- “you feeling okay? still got some energy left?”
- not subtle indeed.
sebastian.
- in the beginning of ur relationship, he was turned on by many things you did, but he’d wait until he had an actual excuse.
- let me explain,
- when you were getting ready for bed, and he was spending the night, he’d watch you delicately take off your jewelry and carefully put them away—instant turn on.
- but it wasn’t until u joined him in bed, gave him a couple kisses on the cheek, & hinted that u were in the mood yourself when he’d fold.
- like he’d wait until he had an “excuse” for some reason.
- as for now, when ur relationship is very committed and ur living under the same roof, he stopped overthinking as much.
- instead of watching your dainty fingers unclasp each necklace, it was his to help you.
- then a gentle press of his soft lips to the center of your neck, & all he had to do was listen to your soft laugh, before you turned around and kissed him deeper.
- when he’s horny, that’s absolutely what he does. it saves him from outright saying it, and from making you feel bad if you aren’t. a win win.
- for sebastian to blatantly tell you he wants to have sex right now—he’s gotta be DEPRIVED.
- even though he’s comfortable with you, and no matter how long he’s been with you, he’s just not that kind of person to outright ask.
- plus, he likes when you come onto him. it’s an ego booster.
- he just loves u in general, and the fact that he knows u love him.
- now just bc i stated he doesn’t like to ask, doesn’t mean he never will.
- it’s rare, but he’s been with you for years. he’s bound to suggest it at least once.
- and if that were the case, he’ll still be shy about it.
- he’s been thinking about you all day, even clingy enough to bring himself out to help you with work.
- he’s sorta like ur shadow the entire day, and for a guy that deeply appreciates his alone time, it definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by you.
- “what’s up, sebby? you’ve been really clingy today.” you giggle, leaning into his touch that wraps around your waist.
- you’ll get nothing but a hum and a shrug for now.
- and by the time your chores are wrapped up, the sun is long since set, and you’re all cleaned and full from dinner—is when you finally pry it out of him.
- “you’re just usually not like this,” you giggle, running your fingers through his hair after kissing his cheek.
- “can i not show my wife affection?” he dryly jokes back, causing you to roll your eyes.
- “okay, i don’t need the attitude. of course you can.” you tease, smiling when he wraps his arms a little tighter around you and pulls you in for a kiss.
- “you just look extra beautiful today, and i wanna do something about it.” he all but shrugs, his voice low and quiet between his lips pressing against yours.
- “like what?”
- “why don’t you let me show you?”
alex.
- pfft.
- he’ll tell you.
- he’ll actually make it known to whoever’s near. he has zero shame.
- he always gets rly horny whenever ur out in public together, like at dinner w friends, or at town gatherings.
- it’s definitely because he gets to see you all dressed up, spritzed with perfume and makeup done.
- trust me, the sight of you in your loungewear still makes him a horny. a different kind of horny, tho. i’ll get to that in a minute.
- but there’s something so satisfying abt showing up to an event with a fucking goddess by his side. you’re dressed to the nines and you’ve got his hand in yours.
- it’s like a silent bragging right that you fell in love with him, not anyone else.
- he’s a little possessive in that sense.
- when you guys haven’t seen each other in a couple hours, he’ll always come find you after a bit to check in.
- it’s so cute cus ur a little buzzed, and so is he.
- he’ll easily slot himself by your side, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you close.
- just from the way your face immediately lights up, and a warm smile pulls at the corner of your cheeks is enough to turn him on.
- leans down to whisper in your ear, “when are you ready to head out? been dying to get this off of you,” while subtly tugging on the fabric hugging your hips.
- yeah, you’ll leave right after that😇
- and as for when he sees you in your loungewear,
- he tends to be a bit more loving.
- there’s definitely a side of him that only you bring out. he’s lowkey one of those guys that becomes such a softie when he’s alone with you.
- likes to hold u, or even be held if i may be so bold.
- so when he’s feeling particularly affectionate, mumbling abt how much he loves you and such, it tends to lead into a session or two.
elliott.
- he’s just beyond enamored by you and everything you do.
- he’s similar to shane in the sense that, no matter what he’ll always find you beautiful, and sexy.
- he’s the kind of guy who gets his own satisfaction by giving you what you want. so if ur horny, and you wanna have sex, well so is he.
- but for elliott, it’s different.
- it’s not so much as being horny and looking to just fuck,
- it’s him being in love with you, and wanting to make love to you, y’know?
- so when he’s horny, it’s usually when he gets his alone time with you.
- after you’ve finished work for the day, already showered, & he’s decided to wrap up his own work, is when you two can finally relax together.
- “you were out there for a while. busy day?” he asks curiously, silently patting his knee for you to prop your foot up.
- “ah, yeah, y’know, most of my crops needed to be harvested today and i had to run to pierre’s to plant some more.” you sigh, leaning back and indulging in his affection.
- it’s gonna sound a little weird, i know, but i feel like he silently loves when you’re a little sore.
- no, not because you’re in pain, but because he just loves the excuse to soothe you.
- he loves rubbing your shoulders and back, rubbing your feet when you’re tired while you tell him about your day.
- it’s usually then when he becomes infatuated, and all he wants to do is hold you and kiss you all over.
- so after some back and forth, talking about whatever news came up over the few hours you’ve been apart, is when he’s the most in love.
- there’s never really a verbal agreement, you two usually just feel it at the same time, which is when you lean in and it gets a bit heated.
- he can’t possibly pick one single thing you do that makes him hornier then another. it’s everything you do.
#ੈ✩‧₊˚ headcanons#: ̗̀➛ jo writes !!#stardew valley hcs#stardew valley bachelors#sdv x farmer#sdv x reader#harvey x farmer#sdv harvey x reader#sdv harvey x farmer#sdv harvey#sdv sam x reader#sdv sam#sdv sam x farmer#sam x farmer#sdv shane#sdv shane x reader#sdv shane x farmer#shane x farmer#sdv sebastian#sdv sebastian x reader#sdv sebastian x farmer#sebastian x farmer#sdv alex#sdv alex x farmer#sdv alex x reader#alex x farmer#sdv elliott#sdv elliot x reader#sdv elliot x farmer#sdv elliott x farmer
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Tristin Dugray relationship and intimacy hcs
wc: 1.1k
pairing: tristin x afab reader
genre: smut smut feelings smut
warnings: dumbfucking, tristin is a cocky bastard and a slut and a whore (all affectionate), pussydrunk tristin, brief mentions of exhibitionism and tristin having bull energy, hickeys, cute jealousy, tristin is an attention whore (affectionate), other girls are jelly of you bc tristin likes you that fuckin much, tristin has a vaguely bad homelife, use of mary as a pet name
song recs: mary - alex g, break my heart - spectacular cast
a/n: this boy.... has consumed way more of my brain space than I anticipated??? he grabbed me by the fucking throat lol
tags @yesv01 @magcon7280
As with all nsfw works all characters are aged up to 18+
That being said HOLY SHIT LETS GET INTO IT
Tristin Dugray is one horny motherfucker
Like really seriously horny
Stage 5 thirsty for you specifically
Like I said in that one drabble he’s a cocky attention whore until a certain point
Then he just gets completely stupid
His goal is to fuck both of you absolutely dumb, and he’s really good at it
Even when he has you both completely stupid, he’s still gonna keep going
Like until he collapses on top of you
But before he gets so pussydrunk that all he can do is pant and grunt and whine in your ear
He absolutely talks you through it
God this boy just can’t shut up can he
So he’ll guide you and tease you and coax more and more out of you
He’ll call you mary and babble out praise
And he’ll soak up every expression you make
Every noise you let out
GOD just looking at you??? It takes so much energy not to cum on the spot
Tristin already knows that no one can fuck you like he can
But he’s even more willing to prove it for you
Not gonna lie, he has major bull energy
Tristin can sweep you off your feet and charm you away from anyone else vying for your attention
Then he can push his fat cock snugly inside you and make you squirt and shower you with attention
He ruins you for anyone else by giving you ultimate princess treatment
God the duality of this man
Speaking of his fat cock, he’s hung like a goddamn horse
Like he’s already so fucking perfect
He’s hot as fuck, loaded, actually has a personality, he likes you that much, he’s loyal
And he’s packing??????
It’s almost unfair
But yeah Tristin is the whole package (pun intended)
He can do whatever he wants. Literally anything.
Because he’s this hot, you’re going to have to be prepared for a lot of jealousy from the plethora of girls who have a crush on him
Which is almost all of them
Girls get so fucking pissed when you have bruises and hickeys and can’t walk
Like seriously
It’s impossible to be friends with any girls that know Tristin because boy keeps you marked up
And they don’t like that
He’s so tantalizingly close to them but agonizingly out of reach
They hate it even more when he smells like you and has your love bites all over him
He proudly shows that shit off
Along with all the scratches you leave on his back
And an occasional pair of panties left in his pocket
Nothing makes him happier than having your scent and marks and presence all over him
Once he finds out about bra strap bracelets????? You make him one and he will never take that shit off
Gets pouty when his hickeys fade and asks you for more
He pulls you into his lap and bites your ear playfully
“Well Mary, your friends need to know that I’m taken, don’t they?”
“It’s not my friends that I’m worried about…”
He pauses kissing your neck to look up at you with a cocky gaze just full of victory as your words sink in
“You are jealous…”
GOD HE LOVES WHEN YOU GET JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE OVER HIM
ACTUALLY MAKES HIM MOTHERFUCKING FERAL
It has this energy
Oh my god oh my god and watching his hair grow back out from his military school buzzcut???
When it’s finally long enough to tug and flop over and tickle your face and neck while he fucks you?????
And brush all softly against your thighs when he goes down on you???????
Best era tbh
And Tristin really does love going down on you a lot
He has some almost pleasure dom tendencies???
Someone hose this boy down
Just fucking neuter him at this point
Seriously once he gets a taste of you, it’s game over
Tristin is easily the biggest fucking slut you’ve ever met
But he’s only a slut for you
Literally
All he wants is you
So when he has you, he’s going all out
All the way
Hitting all the spots (literally and figuratively)
Don’t let him find out about your g spot
He already abuses your clit enough as it is
Just cause he loves the face you make when you orgasm
He gets kind of obsessed with making you cum
Seriously he will sneak off with you for quickies and hand stuff in some really risky places
He doesn’t even care about getting caught at this point
He just loves seeing how nervous and turned on it makes you
And he loves having something to tease you about
Seriously this man will whore himself out to you at a moments notice
He’s so fucking touch starved that it’s really nice to have something long term and serious with you like this
It’s all he’s wanted for a really long time
Even with Summer, he tried everything he could to make it work
I think it’s safe to assume he has a similar homelife to Paris
Specifically from the quote regarding Paris’s baggage when Tristin said “yeah, [I have] a matching set”
You’re not being too subtle there babe
So with all the inconsistencies and instability he’s dealt with through the years
You really are a breath of fresh air
Tristin wants to be committed
He wants someone that he can give all of himself to
When he met you there was a terrifying moment where he felt his priorities shift
He knew that if his options were a safe choice or you, he’d choose you hands down
But now he gets both
He gets that consistency and devotion and commitment
And he gets it with you
So you better believe he is not fucking this up
He is going to put everything he has into this
Because he knows how you deserve to be treated
And he knows he can’t lose you
Which means he just has to be the kind of man that you deserve
One of the most beautiful parts of dating Tristin is getting to grow together and watch him really blossom alongside you
You are the catalyst
You are what made him into who he is today
And he wouldn’t want this with anyone else but you
#tristin dugray#tristin dugray x reader#tristin dugray smut#gilmore girls#gilmore girls smut#gilmore girls x reader#tristan dugray smut#tristan dugray#tristan dugray x reader#motherfucker#the brain rot i've had for this bitch???? unfathomable
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Love Languages. | Bungou Stray Dogs
inc: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, tecchou, jouno
written in 2nd pov (female reader implied)
song recc: do you love by trish toledo & baby bash
word count: 2324 words
pretty sure everything is written in lowercase except for names if they didn't look ugly capitalized bc aesthetics !!! had tons of fun writing this I apologize, this is barely proofread and for literally every character I got too caught up in specific examples and scenarios and just kept building off of it but I think they're kind of sweet so I hope u enjoy <3
dazai osamu - acts of service
“she peels an orange for us in the morning / she woke me up to give me half”
golden girl - frank ocean
he’s terrible at taking care of himself, so someone who takes the time to care for him just makes every wall crumble
he’s probably horrible at remembering to eat as well, so if you make something for him he’ll treasure it forever
bonus points if your job requires you to wake up earlier than him (which isn’t hard, he def comes in a little later than his coworkers) and you leave something for him to eat when he wakes up or to take with him to work (or both <3)
he’ll start to look forward to waking up in the mornings in hope that you’ve made him something
never asks you if you’ll make something in specific or if you’ll even make him something at all. he adores anything you make and doesn’t want to make you feel obliged to do something if you happen to be tired and don’t want to cook tomorrow
voices all his appreciation for you when you both have laid down to go to sleep
“bella, I can’t tell you how much it means to me, all that you do. you really don’t have to make me anything if it’s a hassle in the morning or when you get home. you already work so hard.”
you turned onto your other side to face him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear as you smiled, “I do it because I want to, ‘Samu. and because I love you. if I can’t spend the day with you because we’re both at work, at least I can take care of you.”
his chest buzzed with so much happiness his eyes stung for a moment. he held himself back from saying that he didn’t deserve you. saying something like that wouldn’t solve anything. instead, he’d make himself worthy of you by helping out as well
he probably can’t cook very well but he finds other ways to help, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, and cleaning the place so that there’s less on your plate
ask him to do anything and he’ll get it done for you as soon as possible <3
I think that for him, receiving such sweet love without any words is foreign to him but is just what he needs. he’d rather show how much he loves you than say it (although he loves to tell you it as well). getting out of bed could be so difficult for him some days, yet having a goal for himself has motivated him to become a better person. he wakes up, excited for what you may have made him and ready to do whatever he can for you
nakahara chuuya - gift giving
“they asked, ‘do you love her to death?’ I said, ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’” - mahmoud darwish
it’s easier for him to express how much you mean to him by giving you everything you want and everything he thinks you would like
he still tells you that he loves you every chance he gets, but oftentimes it is accompanied by a gift, no matter how small it may be, from just a single rose to a whole garden
for him, it gives a new purpose in his work; he’s working in order to get you whatever your pretty heart desires
he’s proud to use his hard-earned money to buy you things (rather than spending it all on wine <3 ily chuuya)
the easiest thing he can always get you is a favorite snack or drink and he’s got a whole system for it
he knows every store it’s available at and many of the clerks are familiar with him from the sheer amount of times he’s visited them to buy something for you. it never grows old for him, his favorite thing to do is buy you something on his way home from work or during the day when he’s planning to surprise you with a visit
he keeps a mental list of what your favorite things are. you’ll tell him about something you like without thinking anything of it but he’s already planned out when and how to give the item to you. it’s always on his mind what he’ll buy you each day, and it’s always worth it seeing you enjoy whatever he’s bought you
sometimes it’s as simple as a coffee and he’ll drop by your work to give it to you in person
“hanging in there, Angel? need a little pick-me-up?” he has the biggest smile on his face every time he sees you, and bringing a gift for you with him only adds to his excitement
“you spoil me, Chuuya,” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning further into him as he holds you in his arms.
“what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he responds, rubbing your back as you sigh.
receiving gifts from you is just as sweet. no one has ever given him as many gifts as he’s given others–which is fine with him–it’s not about what he’ll get in return and he knows that not everyone expresses their love the way he does
but he’s touched whenever you get him something. since giving gifts is so meaningful to him, it means even more that someone would go through the trouble to give something back to him
he’ll keep whatever you get him close to him at all times and smile every time he sees it or remembers it
once, you bought him a new chain for his hat and he hasn’t changed it since. it only made the hat more special to him now that it reflects two people that had changed his life
akutagawa ryunosuke - words of affirmation
“my love, you are worth it all.”
we all know how the boy responded to dazai’s praise or even simply just the words “dazai wants to talk to you”
to hear a person who has persisted through his stubborn, aggressive defense say they still love him causes him to start to soften for you
he’s been surrounded by harsh words and people who have exploited him and brushed him to the side whenever he wasn’t needed all his life, so it stirs his heart to hear someone notice things about him and who tells him that they want to stay with him
it’s something reserved for solitary moments just between the two of you for sure, but that makes the time all the more special because he can let down his guard and just be with you
his past has made it hard for him to believe he is worthy of anything other than the murderous skills he’s harnessed in order to get him to where he is in the Mafia, but you’ve shown him that there’s more to him than just how well he can use Rashomon
he never bothers to try and listen to what other people are saying but he always gives his full attention to anything you have to say
he doesn’t even like to hear compliments from anyone else, he doesn’t trust them at all but he trusts and believes anything you tell him, knowing you have the purest intentions of loving and supporting him
after a job, all he wants to do is go home. by the end of the day, he’s sick of everyone around him so on the rare occasion that you decide to visit him, he won’t even notice until you call out to him
he had just finished a job, it was successful, but it had gotten messy. Mori had already told him off and he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone else. he stormed past every piece of vermin that had decided to get in his way, their whispers just barely reaching his ears
“Ryu!” you called out from amongst them, waiting by a door.
“What?” he hadn’t meant to snap, especially when he realized it was you talking to him and his face immediately relaxed when he saw you.
“oh, [y/n].” he immediately started to make his way towards you, the pounding in his head slowly starting to disappear the closer
“I came to pick you up, I’m glad I had good timing,” you smiled, offering your hand.
he took it gently, giving it a soft squeeze, “I’m sorry I responded so rudely, I didn’t–”
“you’re okay, Ryu,” you placed your other hand on top of it, looking him straight in the eyes, keeping a loving smile on your face, “you don’t ever have to be sorry. you’re doing just fine. even better, actually. I’m so proud of all your work and I’m sure you’re tired after everything today. it looked busy.”
the words erased every memory of Mori’s scolding that his head had latched on to in order to beat himself down later on. he felt his cheeks warm a little as he looked away, “you’re too kind to me, [y/n].”
tries his best to also put into words his appreciation but it’s so hard for him to verbally say it; sometimes it comes out wrong
instead, he’s opted for notes most of the time, leaving them on your bedside or in your bag, telling you how thankful he is for you and that he loves you
suehiro tecchou - quality time
“on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” - mahmoud darwish
my boy is always so busy
as soon as he’s off work he just wants to be wherever you’re at
he’d doesn’t mind silence and doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with you
sometimes gets off work and if you’re not home yet just sneaks into your workplace to be around you
adores following you around and doesn’t always know exactly what you’re doing but he’s just happy to tag along
grocery store dates are some of his favorite moments with you
he loves everything about convenience stores
he loves food and the endless aisles of colorful packages and choices
(it gives him ideas for new food combinations <3)
once bought a himalayan salt shaker simply because
“look [y/n]! they make pink salt :0”
later put said pink salt on top of strawberry ice cream bc they were both pink
he also loves getting to look around the store all the while following you. he admires your organized grocery lists and how you’ve already planned out what you’re going to buy
once you tried to send him out to grab something in an area you’d already passed so that you could continue going down the list
“can you go grab some carrots for me, love? sorry, I forgot to pick them up when we were in the produce section.”
“of course 🙂” his heart is shattering inside of him at the thought of being separated from you.
“do you want to stay with me and we’ll go back later?” you ask, looking up at him with a knowing smile.
“yes pls”
groceries stores are not the only place you guys go tho i promise
if you’re still in school, he’ll accompany you on study dates
never bothers you under any circumstances and if he is and you tell him he’ll stop right away
he could spend all day looking at your pretty face even if you never once looked at him <3
jouno saigiku - physical touch
“you kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry / the sun has come this close, only the sun” “GPS” - Shauan Barbosa
although he can’t see you, he knows your body by heart <3
he’s spent so much time tracing it over and over with his hands
i think his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work is flop onto you and just listen to your heartbeat. probably also intertwines one of his hands with yours, often runs other across your skin
loves when you touch him just as much
if he’s lying on top of you and you decide to run a hand through his hair, all of his problems have just melted away
you both have definitely fallen asleep like that countless times no matter what time of day it is
he’s always finding ways to be in close contact with you, making sure that you’re safe and near him
again, he loves loves loves to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it any chance he gets
will also settle for an arm around your shoulder though as long as you’re close to him
definitely the type to also rest his head on top of yours or on your shoulder every chance he gets
if he needs to fidget he won’t even play with his own fingers he’ll just play with yours
i think that with the loss of one sense, the other senses hold so much meaning for him
it’s easier and more meaningful for him to show his love and how much he trusts you through touch rather than just saying it out loud
comes up from behind you to hug you a lot, especially in the kitchen or when you’ve just come home he’s there immediately, hugging you to recharge
“how was your day, my love?”
you always relax in his arms, turning your head slightly to kiss his face which he’s let rest on your shoulder, “it was missing you.”
he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, “i’ll make it all up to you now, darling.”
there was one time that he let you do his hair
he’s never told you how much he enjoyed it; he didn’t even know what you had done to it, but being near your warmth is all he needs and can ask for <3
#dazai x reader#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu#chuuya x reader#nakahara chuuya x reader#nakahara chuuya#akutagawa x reader#akutagawa ryunosuke x reader#tecchou x reader#tecchou suehiro x reader#jouno x reader#jouno saigiki x reader#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons
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on his knees
synopsis: even the king of the underworld has his weaknesses. bucky’s just happens to be a mortal woman he can’t get enough of.
pairing: bucky barnes (hades/devil) x f!reader
word count: 2.7k
warnings: 18+ ONLY. breaking & entering, ig technically monsterfucking, devil/mortal dynamics a la hades/persephone, dirty talk, teasing, oral (receiving), bucky breaks the wall, pet-names, bucky on his knees for the reader/begging, size kink bc bucky is 6’6 here in my mind, fingering, unprotected sex, power imbalance, possessiveness, this bucky also wears rings and chains and had civil war era hair, idk what else but lmk if i missed anything!!
notes: i wrote this for me, myself, and i <3
The floorboards groaned under your feet as you crept further into your small, New York City apartment. Every creak echoed in your mind, reminding you that he could appear at any moment. That he knew you were home and thinking of him.
The day weighed heavily on your shoulders, slumped and hunched as you made your way into the tiny kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water. Your muscles ached and begged for some sort of release, but the only release you wanted was his.
His face was plastered over every news outlet for the past two years, cautioning anyone who may stumble into his path or fall to their knees in front of him in hopes he shows mercy.
He never does.
The shower springs to life, spurts of water being the only thing you can hear as you slowly strip your clothes. They fall to the floor unceremoniously where they’ll stay until you find the energy to shove them deep into your hamper. Where you’ll also put off laundry until you run out of clean underwear.
It’s a dangerous, vicious cycle.
Everything melts away as you step under the too-hot stream of water. The day runs through your head, along with the too-long list of things you need to do. The bills you need to pay and the commitments you made when you were in a much better mood now plague you.
“Shit,” you curse under your breath when the stream starts to turn lukewarm.
You have only a few minutes before it’s ice-cold, spending too much time just standing under the water sulking. A quick lather is all you get before you’re pulling over a large sweater and thick socks. The fabric is long enough to forgo shorts or any type of pants.
The low hum of traffic on the street fills the living room before you’re on the couch with the TV playing in the background. What you’re really focused on is your phone. No one can stop talking about him, you can’t stop thinking of him.
It’s driving you mad, keeping him a secret when his face is plastered on every fucking tabloid. Though, you really hope he can’t read minds because you’re sure he wouldn’t be too happy with the thoughts running through yours right now.
Your nights have been the same. A boring, mundane routine that makes you want to put your head through a wall. But you made a deal. You made a deal with him and whether you like it or not, you’re bound to him.
Those are the last words that float in your head before you’re drifting off to sleep, entirely unaware of what was about to happen next.
You groan when you awake, eyelids heavy with sleep as you rub them, adjusting your position only to realize you have a kink in your neck. You’re confused at first, wondering why you’re not in your bed when your eyes flicker to the TV that’s still playing a random episode of something.
It all clicks as you drag yourself into a sitting position, eyes still adjusting to the darkness after you’ve turned the TV off. The air feels colder and suddenly, the hair on the back of your neck raises like an alert.
“Hello, my Darling.” His voice flows over you, just above a whisper and you gasp when you realize he’s standing right by your window.
He turns to face you before cocking his head as a smirk grows across his lips. You’re frozen in place, unable to move as your eyes move over his body. He’s dressed like he always is: black dress pants and a black button down.
Except tonight, he looks only a little less put together. His hair is mused and tucked behind his ears. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled to expose his forearms and the top few buttons are undone, his dark tattoos just barely visible.
Your heart kicks in your chest, beating erratically. You still can’t seem to find any words as he makes his way over to you. He towers over you, making you feel like a speck before he bends at the waist to cup your cheek.
“I’ve missed you,” he purrs, thumb brushing over your cheekbone and you can’t help but lean into his touch because fuck, you’ve missed him too. So goddamn much.
He stays like that before his thumb moves to your lower lip, brushing over it. Your eyes are locked on his, afraid that if you look away, he’ll disappear like a figment of your imagination. Perhaps you’re still dreaming.
When he pulls away, it feels like he’s taken a piece of you. You crave him, need to be near him, want his touch. He exudes confidence, watching you with a curious gaze.
“What’s wrong, Darling?” He asks, though not concerned. He’s amused by your lack of anything.
You shake your head, quickly standing up and reaching out for him, “I just, I didn’t think you were really here.”
He smiles, tugging you into his body by your waist until you’re flush with him. He smells exactly the same, a rich woodsy, earthy scent as you smooth your hands over his chest. You know that the man who’s got you in his arms is dangerous, beyond that, even, but you can’t seem to care.
They always warned you not to make deals with the devil, but they never warned you about how handsome he’d be.
“I can’t stay away from my girl for long,” he hums. “Not when you’re bound to me.”
That’s when it hits you, that you’re not only bound to him in this lifetime, but in all others. That no matter what, you’re his and only his. You may not have picked him, but he picked you and that was enough.
“Did you break into my apartment?” You blurt suddenly, watching the smile erupt on his face along with the sound of his deep laughter.
“Of course I did.” He replies casually, “What did you expect from the King of the Underworld? Or the Devil as you call it.”
Something in your chest flutters at the sound of the word, how macabre it really is to be in the arms of the Devil. Yet, in some fucked up way, it excites you. It makes you feel like you’re stuck in an endless loop of mundanity.
He’s still got you in his arms, fingers running up and down your back as you feel the distinct and heavy weight of the prosthetic one. It sends a chill down your spine and sometimes you wonder if he does that on purpose.
“Now,” he leans down closer to you. “Are you going to tell me that you’ve missed me too or are you just going to assume I know because of how wet you are already?”
You inhale sharply at his words, curling your toes into the hardwood floors as you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth. His dark eyes don’t waver, steady and trained on you and it makes you squirm.
“I’ve missed you too,” you whisper, barely audible but you know he’s heard you loud and clear.
He chuckles deeply, his chest vibrating against your own. In an instant, he’s maneuvered you both so he’s on the couch and you’re perched nicely on his lap.
“I figured as much, I could smell you from across town, Darling.” He rasps, cupping your jaw once again to hold you close to him.
It’s these moments that you crave and dream about. Constantly wishing it could be the two of you forever. It’s the silly little fantasy that keeps you going, knowing that he needs you just as bad as you need him.
“Do you remember last time?” He muses, pulling you closer so your core is nestled right above his. You simply nod your head, too aware of his growing length as he rocks you over him gently.
“I couldn’t get enough of you, Darling. You have any idea how sweet you are?” He whispers against your cheek, fingers digging into your hips as you grind over him.
“I dream about you, about how you say my name when I’m at home between your thighs.” His voice has become deeper, more gravelly as you let your head fall back and mouth open.
His lips are soft and warm against your neck as he leaves open mouthed kisses on your flesh. He’s just as addicting as you remember, and his words leave you dizzy for me.
“Say my name for me, Darling. Or do you want me to get on my knees and beg you?” He asks and you a moan escapes you.
Your eyes meet his, dark and hungry, but playful.
“Beg.”
He licks his lips as you nod and say again.
“I want to hear you beg.”
You’re not sure what’s going to come of this, you’re almost certain you’ll regret it, but right now, you don’t fucking care. The mere idea of seeing him on his knees for you is driving you wild and the throbbing between your legs needs to be dealt with.
“My girl wants to hear me beg, huh?” He smirks, his sharp canines shining under the moonlight.
You can only nod your head again, fisting the collar of his shirt before you’re moving with him. Your back hits the cool wall, both of his palms flat against the wall on either side of your head.
He’s so much taller than you that you have to crane your head upwards just to meet his eyes. He’s menacing, truly evil and yet, you’ve asked him to beg for you. Maybe you’re just as evil, maybe he’s influenced you enough.
You watch him drop to his knees in slow motion, the floorboards creaking under his weight. You immediately steady yourself on his broad shoulders as he inches your sweater up to expose your stomach.
“I have never,” he places a kiss to your skin. “In my life,” another hot kiss, “begged for anything.”
A shudder runs down your body when his fingers trace the outline of your cotton panties, but his words are the true cause of the sensation. To see him on his knees for you is something you’ll never forget. It may be the only thing you’ll ever think about.
“But for you, my Darling, I’d do just about anything.” He says, hooking his fingers into your panties and pulling them down your legs.
They’re discarded quickly, your breathing rapid as he hooks a single leg over his shoulder, causing you to sink your nails into the skin of his shoulders. He hisses in pleasure, taking a moment to catch his breath.
When he looks up at you, his eyes have been entirely consumed by darkness. There is no more light to them and you know there’s no going back. He’s got you pinned against the wall, hot breath against your core as he gives you a sinister smile.
“My Darling,” he purrs, “I beg you, scream my name so loud everyone knows that you are mine.”
He doesn’t give you any other warning before his tongue is flat against your pussy. Your head hits the wall so hard you think you’ve dented one or the other, but you don’t care. Not when he’s on his knees eating you out like a God.
“Oh fuck,” you gasp, grasping onto him even tighter.
You don’t need to see his face to know he’s smirking, “that’s not what I begged for.”
Your head is spinning and you feel dizzy already when two thick fingers slip into your entrance, curling so deep inside of you that you lose your breath. His name is on the tip of your tongue, it’s just too bad that he’s stolen your breath.
“If you want to come, scream my name, Darling.” He says in a tone so soft you could barely tell it was a threat.
And he’s true to his word, teasing you with slow but meticulous flicks of his tongue in combination with his fingers until you’re on the verge of tears And you think that this must be your purgatory.
“You can do it, Darling. Say my name and I’ll let you come.” He whispers against your inner thigh, nipping at the sensitive skin.
“Please,” you’re begging him now, but it doesn’t seem to work.
A tear slips down your cheek and you’re biting your lip so hard you’ve drawn blood. He’s holding you against the wall with his free arm so squirming is impossible. You’re absolutely stuck.
“Please,” the plea escapes you again. “Please, Bucky.”
When his name finally leaves your lips, it’s like a bomb goes off. White hot pleasure seeps through every bone in your body and if it wasn’t for Bucky, you’d have collapsed into a pile on the floor.
He keeps you upright, body pressed firmly against yours as he swallows your cries with his lips against your own. The kiss brings you back to reality, threading your arms around his neck to keep him close.
“I only ever want to hear my name on your lips, my Darling. No one else’s.” He confesses, breathing just as wildly as you.
His erection digs against your hip and you’re wild and hungry for him. You’re convinced he can read minds because the next sound you hear is the sound of his belt hitting the floor.
“Jump,” he commands.
You do as he catches you, your legs tight around his waist. His eyebrows are furrowed tightly together as he watches you with pure concentration.
“When I was younger, my mother told me a tale. A tale that I never believed until I met you.” Bucky rasps as your chests meet each others.
“It was about a fallen angel who fell only to be with a mortal woman. It was said she was so beautiful that he couldn’t stand to be away from her. I always thought it was stupid.” He says with a low growl.
“Giving up everything for a mortal. I could never understand it.” You feel like your heart is about to burst, Bucky’s dark shadow growing bigger under the moving moon.
“And then I met you and my world collapsed. I understood the angel then and why he decided to fall. Because if that was the only way I could be with you, well, I’d fall a thousand times, Darling.”
He fills you in that moment, barely giving you time to adjust.
“I want to be inside you, filling you up, every goddamn night.” Bucky groans as he fucks you deeply against the wall.
The wall is shaking, along with all of your decorations with each powerful thrust. You feel secure in his arms, his cock driving against your sweet spot as you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug.
“I want to be worshipping you every night, Darling. My face between your thighs or buried so deep inside of you that you forget your own fucking name. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”
Something gives behind your back, but you don’t pay it much attention, too focused on the way Bucky is driving into you like his life depends on it.
“You’re no longer in my dreams, you haunt me.” He growls before you hear another crack and something splinters.
And splinters further before you’ve realized that there’s a human sized dent in the wall, that Bucky’s fucked you so hard he’s broken the wall and he’s not stopping until he’s satisfied.
“I need to feel you squeeze me, baby. Come for me, I’m begging you, put me out of my misery.” Bucky grunts before you’re falling over the edge again, this time, wrapped in him.
You feel him twitching inside of you, finishing before dropping his forehead onto your shoulder to catch his breath. He looks so human in these moments you wonder if he ever misses it. You hope he doesn’t.
“We broke the wall. My landlord is going to kill me,” you chuckle breathlessly as Bucky smiles lazily.
“No he won’t.” Bucky says matter-of-factly as he gently sets you down on your feet.
You’re wobbly, shaking even, but you manage to find your bearings as you straighten your sweater and let it fall to your thighs, no longer as exposed as you were just seconds ago. Bucky then steps closer, arm around your waist as he tilts your chin up with a finger.
“Come home, my Darling. Come home to me and let me get on my knees for you whenever you please.”
#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes drabble#bucky barnes headcanon#bucky barnes x y/n
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heyyy I was just wondering WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PUT IN THIS FRAT!PETER FICS BC I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT TROUBLE AND PETER! I just melt for them together😭😩❤️
I swear when I'm about to fall sleep he just pops into my head and HAVE to grab my phone to reread some of them. Your writing is just soooo god and I wanted to thank you for creating such a work of art🥵🥵🥵
Also I can't stop thinking about frat!peter being jealous like finding a guy talking who hooked up with trouble and overthinking how different they are from each other? and if the ex fling keeps trying to talk with trouble in a friendly way, he would play it cool? i feel like he would look at them talking and he knows about what happen between them but is kinda nervous? idk
I LOVED BRUJA THANK YOU SO MUCH I HAVEN'T ENJOY READING LIKE THIS IN SOOO LONG🥹🥹🥹
first, peter and trouble are crack. second, thank you very much for enjoying!!!
---
peter knows what it looks like to awkwardly chat with an old hookup, he’s done it more than a few times. so, when he watches your eyes dance around the room while you politely laugh in response to the guy in front of you, he just knows.
he’s taller than peter, and he’s not one to be self conscious about his height, but he might now. and he’s got bigger biceps, peter’s spider-man and doesn’t have the build this guy does.
and he’s got nice hair. really nice hair. the kind of hair he knows you love. it’s like peters, but longer and a bit more curly. peter pats the hair on the back of his neck, he’s been growing it a little longer, but apparently not enough.
in a desperate attempt to keep your attention on him tonight, he takes his hat off to throw it on top of the fridge. you always beg him to take it off, it’ll work. he’s sure of it.
it doesn’t. you’re unable to stand still, if he was projecting, he’d say you went from awkward to uncomfortable. peter’s not going to be the guy to barge in, but he takes a step forward, just in case.
it’s like you can feel him, your eyes shoot to his across the room. no words are said or mouthed, but your eyes said enough. ‘help.’ its all he needs.
peter cuts the guy right off, slinging an arm low around your waist. a kiss to your temple, ‘hi, trouble.’ you relax into his touch, you hold on tight to his arm. ‘have you met tanner?’
he hasn’t, and he really doesn’t care to. it looks like tanner doesn’t either, they’re both sizing each other up. peter’s putting on a brave face, but he knows tanner's thinking he’s no competition, and peter can’t help but feel the same.
still, he throws a hand out. ‘sup, man. i’m parker.’ tanner shakes it, ‘sup.’ peter holds his hand a bit too tight, he’s trying to subtly prove that even if he was smaller, he could kick his ass if needed.
tanner asked peter how he knew you, he had to bite his tongue on the disrespect. he knew exactly how peter knew you, his possessive hold tells it all. ‘i’m her boyfriend.’
you dig your nails into his arm, you were caught off guard with the statement. he said it like it was obvious, tanner smirked. ‘ah, lucky man.’ peter really doesn’t like his face.
‘yup. sure am.’ you nudge back against him, peter takes it as a hint to get out of there. he couldn’t agree more. ‘wanna get a drink?’ you nod quick, 'yes, please.'
your 'boyfriend' made a small show of spinning you in his hold, you laughed at the twirl and balanced yourself on his shoulders. 'nice seeing you again,' you forgot who you were with for a second.
'you too, tanner! have a good night.' peter nudged your lower back to get you walking, you didn't make it four steps until you were pulled in for a bruising kiss. every thought melted away, there was only one person on your mind.
'peter,' it puffed out, just like your lips.
'trouble,' he said it like a greeting. you shook your head, leaning in for another, you were lucky tonight, he supplied.
'thanks, boyfriend.'
'that was a typo.'
you scoff. 'no it wasn't, that was you acting like you have one foot up so you don't feel as threatened.'
the choice of words make his skin crawl. peter knows it's not exclusive, exclusive. but he at least thought you both were on a similar page, one that didn't include saying 'so you don't feel as threatened.'
'what the fuck is that supposed to mean, trouble? so i don't feel as threatened? i was doing you a favor, but feel free to go entertain whoever you want, i'll do the same.'
peter's sudden aggression had your head spinning, you tried to grab onto his arm before he left you entirely. 'did i say the wrong thing? i didn't mean to say the wrong thing!'
'i didn't feel threatened until you said i should be. i just really don't like being reminded that i'm a choice you can change your mind on at any time, it's not a good feeling.'
sometimes when he says something to that effect, you want to tell him he could do something about it. sometimes, you let it go and remind him you're not looking for anyone else, if you were, you would've stopped putting up with his shit ages ago.
this is one of the times you put his fears at bay.
'look, peter, that guy, tanner? he's all talk, he seems like some cool guy but he really kind of sucks. in the least commitive way possible, boyfriend, there are no threats.'
'you keep talking about threats.'
'cause you have none!' you exhale deeply, 'i don't like anyone else, okay? and talking to other guys makes me wanna bash my head into a brick wall.'
'you talking to other guys also makes me want to bash my head into a brick wall.'
you grin and smooth out a wrinkle on peter's shirt. 'good, we're on the same page, then.'
peter throws an arm around your shoulder while he guides you to the kitchen.
'i'll deny it if you say anything, but i quite like reading at the same pace as you, trouble.'
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🍓┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ STRAWBERRIES ‘ND ALLERGIES
leo valdez x fem reader <3 lil oneshot / blurb!
📬 sunni’s notes : HEYYOO this is my first leo / pjo fic!!! bc hes actually my real bf (no cap, real not fake) i really hope you enjoy this!! i personally have allergies and wish someone would take care of me like this when i do [cry]
"oh god," (name) sneezed. "it's spring." she wiped the slight snot trailing off her nose. she held the crate of strawberries for mr. d, since she was on farming duty that day. although, she didn't usually complain about being out in thr fields, since she'd get to steal a few strawberries here and there. she'd only complain if it so happens to land on a spring day.
she couldn't refuse either, "don't do this and you lose your dessert privilages." in the words of mr. d. she stumbled over her feet a bit here and there because of her puffy eyes, catching herself before she could fall face-first on the muddy ground. "holy zues." she muttered or an, "oh my titan." about to fall again, she almost couldn't catch herself,
"oookay cariño!" leo had caught her. the crate still in her hands, leo had his arms around her torso and her waist.
the girl's eyes met leo's honey ones. "leo?" she asked, squinting her eyes with an unsure expression. "yeah?" he replied, a nervous smile that usually made (name) fold like crazy. "you okay sunshine? you literally tripped over yourself around seven times. in a row." he snickered, helping her lift her head and stand up.
"aller- ACHOO!"
"-gies." she sniffled. leo frowned, "ay.. come on, let's get you some meds." he tucked strands of her lose hair out of her face and kissed the side of her temple. (name) knew meds wouldn’t exactly cure her allergies, but she didn’t want to burst leo’s bubble.
"maybe some ambrosia." he kept his hand around her waist as he placed the crate of strawberries down on the ground away from her hands. "what are you doing out?" she asked her boyfriend, on their way to camp's infirmary. leo would usually lock himself in bunker 9, doing gods who knows what. the only person, to ever see him in days in a row would be (name).
"you didn't come around, so i looked for you." he beamed, (name) mirrored the smile, her nose and honestly, whole face was red. leo laughed, "you look so cute amor." she rolled her eyes, "my suffering is cute to you?" she shot. leo shrugged, noticing her sniffles. he offered her the side of his tank, it was dirty already with all the grease anyway. wiping her nose slightly at the grease-covered tank, she thanked him.
the two have been dating for a while, but (name) never mentioned her said allergies to him. “are you sure you’re okay cariño?” he asked, she didn’t respond, about to doze off. he snickered, “(name)!” he called, she shot awake. “wh-what?” she asked, frustration growing. leo rolled his eyes, “what are you even allergic to?” he asked with his brows furrowed and a smile planted.
“ah.. pollen, i think?” she questioned, leaning her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and burying her face in his neck. leo noticed her tired state and picked her up bridal-style. “yeah, you definitely can’t walk.” he smiled, peppering her with kisses. “hey!! i have snot!!” she yelled, laughing at the touch and in attempts to push his face away.
“don’t care!” he kissed her on the cheek “just,” then on her temple, “snot!” then her lips. “leo!!” she yelled, a laugh escaping her lips.
“you sound cute when your nose is stuffed.” leo remarked, “and i stand by ‘you think my suffering is cute?’” leo smiled, “maybe.”
“wooow. good boyfriend you are.”
“i try.”
the two arrived at the infirmary shortly after, will standing before them with a bandaid container in his hands. “what’s going on lovebirds?” will asked. leo averted his gaze to a sleepy (name) then will.
“allergies.”
“ACHOO!”
will winced, “we can’t really—“ (name) shot him a look. a ‘let him have this.’ kind of look. will sighed as he exchanged faces with (name). “i’ll take care of her.” will snickered, taking (name)’s arm.
“w-wait, i’m still on farming duty.” she turned to leo. leo shook his head, “i’ll work something out.” he spoke, giving her a kiss before heading out of the infirmary.
will turned to (name) as he helped her down on one of the beds. “when are you going to tell him you can’t really cure allergies?” she giggled, “never.”
— end of the day.
after a good nap, (name) felt better already. she got up and thanked will and everybody else in the infirmary and went to go look for leo.
she looked at bunker 9, nobody.
the heph cabin, also nobody.
where in zues’ name was he?
“leo! stop stealing the strawberries!” she heard piper’s voice from across camp. she turned her head to whichever direction the aphrodite daughter’s voice came from. and at farm, there was leo, on strawberry duty. her jaw dropped slightly, realizing what he meant by ‘i’ll figure something out.’
she watched him carry more crates than she could ever carry, and his tank not just covered in grease anymore but sweat. how long had he been working?
as she stared, leo turned to her, probably feeling eyes on him. he beamed, “(name)!!”
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throwing up bc i can’t stop thinking about dealer!remus and r high and spending new years together bc they just want it to be them two and them being each others new years kiss and using that as a way to make a move on each other bc they were too scared to do anything before pleaSe sedate me
No because why didn’t I have a dealer!remus to kiss me breathless for the new year??!
There’s a frog in your throat. There usually isn’t when you’re alone, but there always seems to be a lump in your throat when you’re with Remus that no amount of affection for him will lessen.
In fact, it seems that the more affection you harbor for him the bigger the lump grows.
You’re sitting on his sofa, in a sparkly New Year’s Eve midi dress and tall socks that are hidden under a fleece blanket.
Remus is in dark slacks and a white shirt- both outfits remnants of the party you’d both escaped from.
“Sure you don’t want a sweater, dove?” Remus asked as he’d undid his tie and honestly, a sweater would’ve been so much worse than suffering in your sequin dress that’s scratching the sliver of skin exposed of your thighs.
“The blanket’s fine, Remmy,” you’d promised, mostly because the idea of being in a sweater that smelled exactly like Remus- a little like his detergent, his citrus and pepper perfume and weed, would’ve made you even more of a mess.
Currently, you’ve got a blunt hanging from your lips, content to have the smoke billow from your mouth and around your head.
Remus is halfway done with his own, watching you mostly as he lets the last bit of the weed burn out.
“There’s something wrong with my hands, Remus.” You say, and he supposes that there should be more urgency in your words, but you get this even softer, mushy quality about you when you’re high that makes every thought seem like nothing.
“What’s wrong with them?” He asks, turning his body so he’s facing you. Your knees knock as you turn to him too.
“Can’t move them,” the blunt almost falls from your lips, and truly your arms feel like lead. Remus catches it before it falls, holding it close to your mouth in case you still want a pull. “Thanks.”
You’re always earnest and shy, but it only seems to become that much more endearing when you smoke, and Remus finds he loves it even more.
The way every word sound wistful, the way your eyes blink up at him slowly like you’re trying to stare at him for as long as possible.
“You’re really pretty, Remus. Which is strange for men,” you say it thoughtfully, like you’ve been thinking it forever.
You’re not sure why you can’t stop talking, or ally you’ve a lot less words to use; but tonight it seems resolutions have come earlier.
“Yeah?” Remus smiles as you nod and take a drag before exhaling.
“Yeah, and your lips, they’re so pretty.” If your hands were working you’d probably reach out to touch the thin scar that slices through his lip, but right now you can’t and maybe it’s a blessing.
Unconsciously, you lean into Remus some more, your thigh covering his knee.
“You’ve got a better pair, pretty girl.” Remus insists and your eyes widen. It’s funny that you seem to find the compliment unhinged.
The distance closes some more.
“Yeah?”
Suddenly, you and Remus are almost lip to lip, noses brushing.
“Yes, dovey,” he murmurs, his lips brushing yours and before he can even ask, you close the distance.
The kiss is shy, an experimental press and then you pull back. Remus doesn’t let you get far and sets the blunt into the ashtray before grabbing the back of your neck to pull you back to him.
It’s a kiss not like what you’d expected; Remus tastes like weed, but there’s something else and it fogs your head even more than the high grade you’d just been smoking.
The kiss is slow but deep, a dance Remus leads with ease. His fingers tangle in your hair to keep you in place and yours finally seem to work again and climb the back of his shirt.
“Happy New Year, dove.” He pulls away and is almost as breathless as you are, the light of the fireworks being set off brightening the window behind you.
“Happy New Year, Rem,” you hide your face in his chest when you catch your breath and Remus chuckles. “Dunno why you’re laughing. Can’t kiss a girl like that and not expect her to get flustered.”
That only makes him laugh even more. Remus’ hands rub down your back.
“You’d get flustered if I only looked at you baby, let’s not pretend.”
#remuslupin#remus lupin#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin fic#remus lupin x black!reader#remus lupin x high!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x yn#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin imagine#dealer!remus#dealer!remus lupin
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exoplanet p.3
pairing: ellie williams x fem! reader (ur a girly girl in this one!!) (she/her pronouns)
summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf
warnings: (PLEASE READ!) explicit language, violence, description of a medical procedure sans anesthesia, recreational drug use (idk how else to put it ellie gets absolutely zonked in the beginning), reader overthinks asf and is a little neurotic but that's why we love her x
a/n: hey guys! thank you so much for the wait! it's been genuinely insane how sweet and incredible all of you are. i've never felt so appreciated for my writing!! also, some notes: this chapter is heavily inspired by my last relationship. sorry if it's not as immersive bc of it! and also i don't have ANY medical knowledge so...cast a blind eye when u get to that scene
part 1
part 2
tags: @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma
wc: 6.6k
enjoy x
“One more time.”
You gave Ellie a withering look from where you were sitting at the end of her bed.
“Please,” she said, drawing out the s. “Just once more. I promise.”
“Fine.” You rolled your eyes—a habit of hers that you were quickly picking up—and took in a deep breath. “Fuck.”
Ellie lost it, peals of laughter bouncing off the walls. “Another one. Say something else.”
“I don’t understand why you think this is so funny,” you said.
“You say it so weird.”
“I enunciate,” you clarified. “I don’t ‘sound weird’. It’s called pronouncing every letter in the word and not having a lazy mouth.”
“Please,” she gasped. “At least say bitch. You haven’t said that one yet.”
You looked her dead in the eye. “Bitch.”
If you weren’t already certain that Ellie was high out of her mind by the smell of her room and the general haze in the air, the way she howled with laughter and fell back on her bed would’ve made you entirely positive.
This was new. You’d begun to hang out with her in her room after dinner—that was normal—but when she’d knocked on your door smelling heavily of weed once you’d said goodnight to Joel, you were nothing less than shocked. Of course, she had none left for you. Which was probably good, because only a sober mind could navigate a night sitting on Ellie’s bed without doing something really, really stupid.
“I can’t believe you call me weird,” you said, tucking your feet under her and giving her a pointed look.
“You’re so lucky you didn’t grow up where I did,” Ellie said, wiping a tear away from her cheek as she tried (unsuccessfully) to rein in her giggles. “You would’ve been eaten alive, good lord.”
“What were you like as a kid?” you asked, resting your chin on your knees.
She considered for a moment, growing more somber. “Um…I don’t know if you would’ve liked me very much.”
“What do you mean? Of course I would’ve liked you.”
“No,” she said, swiping at her face so she pushed a strand of hair away. “I don’t think you would have.”
“Why not?”
“I was…” She paused, picking at her cuticles. “Back then I didn’t have anyone. I was an orphan, you know. My parents were never in the picture, so I was the only one I could count on. I was really rough around the edges and could be nasty. But I probably would’ve ignored you like I did everyone else. “
“Everyone? You didn’t have anyone? No friends at all?”
Ellie blinked, and her gaze remained fixed on her hands. “Basically, yeah. I mean, there was one girl, but that’s…I don’t want to talk about that right now, actually.”
“That’s okay,” you said, reaching forward to touch her knee. She flinched at the contact but didn’t brush you away. The image of a young, scared Ellie living somewhere alone made your chest ache. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“What were you like?” she asked, tilting her head and meeting your eyes.
“Hmmm…” Mirth crept into your tone. “What do you think?”
“What do I think?” Ellie echoed, her eyes cloudy as she thought. Then a small smirk formed on her face. “Oh god, were you one of those spoiled brats? Were you a mean girl?”
“God, no,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “Not mean.”
“Then what?”
You paused. “I was really shy, I guess. And quiet, too. I didn’t do much but read for a good 10 years of my life. I used to have awful pronunciation because I would spend more time reading than talking to anyone. But I think I would’ve liked you.”
Ellie shook her head.
“Yes,” you said. “Maybe I would’ve been a little scared of you. I probably would’ve never had the courage to talk to you. But I would’ve liked you, I think.”
“Scared of me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? I was a kid.”
“I was mostly going off of how I felt when I actually first met you,” you said, shrugging.
She gasped theatrically. “You’re scared of me?”
“No!” you said, smacking her knee. “That’s not what I mean. You’re just really intimidating.”
“Intimidating?” She looked at you incredulously.
“You’re so tough,” you explained, feeling heat grow in your cheeks. “You seem just—I don’t know, just so capable. There’s nothing you’re too afraid to face, nothing you’re too afraid to say.”
“That’s not true,” she said lightly.
“Well, of course I’m sure there are things that you’re afraid of,” you amended. “But you hide it so well. You just seem so…fearless.”
“Hm,” Ellie said, letting her head rest against the headboard. “I think you would’ve made me a nervous wreck. If we’d met when we were kids, I mean.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. You’re just so untouched.” She winced. “God, no. That sounds gross. I just mean…I dunno. I wouldn’t have known how to act around you. You haven’t had to harden up like everyone else I know.”
“Are you saying I should develop trust issues or something?” you asked, your voice a teasing lilt.
“You know,” she said, nodding seriously, “That is part of it. It was really off-putting how quickly you trusted me. But I guess that’s just a product of where you grew up.”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “I wonder how I would’ve turned out if I’d grown up like you.”
“Can I be honest?” Ellie asked.
“Sure.”
“I don’t think you’d still be here if you were me,” she said, her eyes crinkling. “No offense. You just have zero survival skills. I swear that shit has to be genetic. I’ve never met someone more averse to violence in my life.”
You sighed, pressed your hands deep into Ellie’s comforter as a thought hit you. “I think if you’d been born in my position, you would’ve been greater than anything either of us could ever dream of. Much greater than me.”
“Definitely not,” said Ellie. “There’s no fucking way I’m studying the way you apparently do. I honestly think I’d take being an orphan over the study schedule I saw in your bag.”
She was of course referencing the time table you’d roughly sketched up the morning before you’d ended up in Jackson. It was blocked to the minute, citing the study content and the location of said study session. She’d been beyond horrified to see it.
You laughed, nudging her socked food with yours.
“Is there music? In Terranova?”
“Oh,” you said, startled at the abrupt change of subject. “Uh, yeah. Of course. I listened to it all the time.”
“I used to have a Walkman,” she said, leaning back as she reminisced. She was lying flat on her back now. “It ended up breaking a while ago, but it was like my child.”
“Have you ever seen a movie before?” you asked, sitting up rigid straight as the thought occurred to you.
“Duh,” she said, giving you a weird look. “Do you think I live under a rock?”
“How many?”
“Hm.” Ellie began counting, ending on her second hand. “I think 6?”
“You’ve seen a total of 6 movies in your life?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to see more?”
She shrugged. “I mean, I guess. It’s just tough to find CDs that are still functional after so long.”
“Hold that thought,” you said, holding a finger in her direction as you stood up.
“Hey!” she called as you bolted out the door. “Where are you going?”
You came bounding back to her room in a matter of seconds, your laptop in your hands.
“What the fuck?” she said. “Isn’t that your homework thing?”
“Yes,” you said, feeling around for an outlet, “But I also have a ridiculous amount of movies downloaded on this. Our dorm wi-fi is shit and I have way too much storage on this thing, so I just download, like, every movie I’ve ever wanted to watch.”
“Your dorm what?”
You waved your hand. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to her how the 802.11 standard allowed wireless connections a few years after the outbreak. “Not important. Here, come look at this.”
Your laptop roared to light with the help of your charging cord. Quickly, you typed your password in and opened your downloads. Ellie hovered over your shoulder, squinting at the screen with confusion.
“Here,” you said, opening up the album that had everything you had seen for your entire university career and passing the laptop to Ellie. “Use the touchpad—there, yeah—to navigate. Press to click. These are all movie files that I’ve seen. We can watch them on my laptop. Some of them were filmed in Terranova, too, so they’re post-apocalypse.”
She perused the selection you had for quite some time, the glow of the screen lighting up her face against the dim room. “Okay. This one.”
And thus began a tradition. Each night after you’d finished showering and Joel retired to his room, Ellie would come knock on your door and ask if you wanted to come over. You’d talk for a while, then open your laptop and pick something out to watch. Ellie was never high after the first time, which was unsurprising considering that there definitely wasn’t a way to get any in Jackson. Where she found any the first time was still a mystery to you.
~
A week or so after your first patrol with Ellie, Joel had taken it upon himself to teach you how to shoot. You were surprisingly not as bad as you’d expected, but the rebound was tough to get used to, and you were still hung up over the whole “killing living things” part.
Your first patrol—first real one—came quickly, and before you knew it, Ellie was handing you the same gun you’d dropped the first time with a suspicious look.
“Don’t kill one of us with that thing,” she warned. “Be smart, okay?”
“Sure thing, boss,” you said to her, mock saluting as best you could while you were leading Japan to the mounting block.
She rolled her eyes. “Please act normal or I’ll make you carry around that glorified pocket knife instead again.”
The patrol began as usual, Ellie leading you down the same path you went last time. It was a beautiful day out, with the early spring sun filtering through the evergreen trees that populated the woods and birdsong filling the air.
Though conversations with Ellie were getting easier (given that it actually seemed like she wanted to talk to you now), you were still starstruck. Nothing that you did and nothing that you thought could get you to stop seeing her the way you did. You were routinely distracted by everything about her. It was a wonder that you could even function as a normal person around her, much less handle a weapon and a horse.
You two had nearly made the full rotation when your surroundings exploded in action.
“Fuck,” Ellie hissed as someone behind you two fired a shot that narrowly missed Shimmer.
You whipped around, gun in hand, to see two men—two normal men who weren’t infected. One held a bow, the other a gun.
The one who had fired the first shot never even stood a chance. He was down on the ground seconds after you’d seen him, Ellie’s aim taking him out before you could even ready your gun.
The second man notched an arrow and managed to draw it back and release into the air right as Ellie’s bullet struck him, sending him falling back.
“I don’t think there’s any more,” said Ellie, slightly breathless as she scanned the forest. “Sometimes outsiders pull this shit—try to kill us for our supplies. I’ve never seen them this close to the wall, though. I’ll have to tell Maria and Tommy.”
Normally, you would’ve felt up to making some sort of sarcastic comment about how that was a really unconcerning thing for her to tell you and that you actually felt so much more comfortable going on patrol knowing that there were also just run-of-the-mill people trying to kill you, but a twinge in your lower body distracted you.
Slowly, nervously, you looked down. Air immediately left your lungs.
“At least we’re done,” Ellie was saying, wiping her hands off on her thighs and slinging the gun over her shoulder. “What a crazy end for your first actual patrol, huh?”
When you didn’t answer, she turned to you and saw the arrow sticking out of your side,
“Shit,” said Ellie, jumping off Shimmer and reaching you in seconds. “Shit, shit, shit. Oh god.”
“Am I going to die?” you asked, staring starstruck at the blood escaping the outline of the arrowhead. You couldn’t feel anything anymore. Were you in shock?
“No,” said Ellie firmly. “Absolutely not. Do you need help getting off?”
Before you could answer, she was already helping you down, carefully avoiding the protruding arrow.
“Listen,” she said, back to being her unwavering self, “We’re right by the wall. I’m going to help you walk in, and then I’ll grab some supplies, okay? Don’t try to pull the arrow out. You hear me? Don’t.”
Swallowing hard, you nodded. She helped you walk the few steps to be carefully concealed by the wall, then grabbed the two horses and darted past you, making a break for Maria and Tommy’s cabin.
In a haze of confusion, you could see Maria running out, holding a box out to Ellie in exchange for the reins of the horses. Ellie said something that made Maria point towards you. She nodded, then ran back to you.
By the time that she’d reached you, the shock had begun to wear off, replaced by the stinging pain from the object that had impaled you. It was worse than anything you’d ever felt before in your life, and it took all you had not to keel over.
“Hey,” she said, reaching out to grab your face so you had to look at her. “Don’t be afraid. I’ve done this before, okay? I’m, like, the master. It’s going to be alright.”
“Done what before?” you managed to grind out.
Ellie let go of your face to dig through the box Maria had given her, producing a needle, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and what looked like a spool of thin thread.
Horror slowly trickled through you as you realized what was about to happen.
“It doesn’t look all that deep,” Ellie was saying as she examined the arrow. “So I don’t think it’s hit anything. It’s just going to be a nasty hole. I’m going to pull it out now, okay?”
You let out a strangled scream as she grasped the arrow’s end and yanked it out without warning.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Ellie repeated. She threw the arrow over her shoulder and knelt so she was hovering over you. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you gasped. You were most certainly not. You couldn’t quite get your eyes to focus, and your heart was beating out of your chest.
“Alright,” she said firmly, grasping your shoulders and pulling you up so you were slumped against the wall. “Sit up straight, alright? Also, this is going to hurt.”
At first there were just snipping sounds as she cut part of your shirt away—then something cool and wet pressed to your wound. You cried out again as a fresh white hot pain bloomed in your middle.
“I know, I know.” Ellie’s voice was consoling as she reached up to brush away the sweaty strands of hair stuck to your forehead. “Just a few more seconds.”
“Fuck—off—” you gritted out from your teeth.
Ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Just this once.”
She released the alcohol-saturated cotton pad, throwing it aside and fussing with the thread and needle until she was satisfied.
By the time her fingers were ghosting over your abdomen again, you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the puncture wound and the needle she was wielding.
“Don’t look,” said Ellie. “Pick something else. You don’t need to watch.”
“I hate needles,” you whispered, choosing the air over her shoulder to be your focal point.
There was a prodding at the top of your wound, and you hissed.
“I can’t say I’m a fan myself.”
Something pierced through your skin, and your midriff exploded in pain.
The edges of your sight went fuzzy, stars forming in the corners of your vision. Someone that sounded suspiciously like you cried out. Your cheek rammed up against something solid and warm.
Once the initial sting had faded, you realized that you’d slumped into Ellie, your face buried into her neck. She didn’t make any move to push you off, instead just taking one hand to brush up and down your arm with a feather light touch.
“You're fine," she said firmly. "Everything's going to be fine."
Your fingers curled around the hem of her shirt as the needle exited through the other end of your wound, pulling another whine from your throat. It was easier to not feel like you were about to pass out when you were crushed into Ellie, clinging onto her and just focusing on the way she felt against you.
“Hang on, I'm almost there,” she muttered a few stitches later. You’d quieted down, only letting out the occasional gasp as she pulled the thread through. “You're doing so well. Just one more.”
Now that you were more conscious, you had no idea how she was managing to stitch your side while you were nearly on her lap, but she continued to weave her needle through your skin, pulling it taut.
“And done,” said Ellie. You felt her take another cotton square to swipe against your skin.
You laid against her for a few more moments, panting as the shock slowly began to fade. She shifted, and for a moment you were sure that she was going to shove you away, but then the hand she’d lifted hesitantly rested on your head, her fingers parting to card through your hair.
“How did you learn how to do that?” you asked, your voice muffled from where you were pressed against her.
“Trial and error.”
Her joke was enough for you to finally let go, sitting back against the wall. Her hand slithered out of your hair, resting back in her lap.
“Shut up,” you said. “That’s awful.”
Ellie shrugged.
“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling the bumpiness of the stony wall press into your back. “I have a really low pain tolerance.”
“So I’ve noticed,” said Ellie, the side of her mouth quirking.
“I’ve never been hurt before,” you heard yourself saying. “Like, beyond the occasional splinter or bee sting or accidental scrape or ankle sprain. It’s just not something that happens.”
“Must be nice.”
You smiled sadly. “Yeah. It’s not nice being weak, though.”
Ellie looked away from you then, silent as she packed up the first-aid kit. Then: “I don’t think that’s true.”
She’d said it lightly, like it was meant to be an offhand comment, a throwaway addition that wouldn’t be remembered by either of you. But the sentiment still struck you, twisting your heart.
You were less capable because your survival had never required anything more. You were weak because you could be.
Her voice from the night she’d been high floated back to you. You haven't had to harden up like everyone else I know.
Out here, weakness was a luxury few could afford.
“Not so untouched anymore, huh?” you said, since you didn’t know how else to respond.
“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” quipped Ellie. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I still consider needing to be held to get 4 stitches as being soft. You haven’t changed a bit. No offense.”
Your cheeks burned bright red. “I—”
“I’m teasing,” she said before you could defend yourself. “Arrow wounds suck. I get it.”
“Right.” You turned away, keeping your gaze fixed firmly on the ground beside you. With feeling more yourself came the inevitable shame at what you’d just done. What had you been thinking, touching her like that? Grabbing onto her like that?
This was going to haunt you for the rest of your life.
“Don’t make that face,” said Ellie. “I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It really is fine.”
It was not fine. It would never be fine. You wanted the thugs to come back to life and finish you off, and then have the earth open up and swallow you for good measure.
Ellie probably thought of you as an overgrown child. You doubted that there was ever a point where she could see you as anything equal. If she ever knew how often she appeared in your imagination, she’d probably be disgusted.
She called you pretty a contrarian voice in your head reminded you. Don't you remember?
But maybe she hadn’t meant it. She hadn’t said it explicitly: “Y/N, I think you’re pretty.” She just hadn’t argued when you’d pointed it out. Maybe because she was being nice, or maybe because she was actually being sarcastic.
“You were really brave, okay?” said Ellie. “Your first armed confrontation and you did well.”
“I didn’t shoot anyone.”
“It could have gone worse,” said Ellie. “You could’ve accidentally shot me. Or died. And neither of those things happened, so that’s successful in my book.”
“That’s very glass half-full of you.”
“That’s me. Ever the optimist.”
You snorted.
~
That night, Ellie knocked on your door and asked you if you were up for another movie. You found yourself sitting on her comforter, plugging in your computer and booting it up minutes later.
Physically speaking, it had always been a little awkward to fit two people on her twin bed if they weren’t right next to each other, given that your laptop screen was a very unimpressive size. When you’d first started watching with her, Ellie would rest against the headboard, her legs stretched out in front of you while you would sit with your legs crossed, positioned sideways so you weren’t accidentally pushing her legs off.
But after the day you had had, your back was sore and your whole body ached. Sitting on something soft without any back support as you angled yourself to look at the screen was quickly proving unsustainable.
“Pause,” said Ellie about ten minutes in. You’d been watching an older sci-fi flick—Ellie’s choice.
You complied, leaning forward and pressing the spacebar. “What’s up?”
“Are you even comfortable sitting like that?”
“Yeah,” you said.
“Liar,” accused Ellie, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t think I don’t see you ‘discreetly’ cracking your back every 2 minutes. It’s ruining the movie.”
“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head and smiling in exasperation. “It’s from all the years I spent hunched over a textbook.”
“You know, you can sit up here,” she said, patting the space beside her. “I don’t bite.”
“Jury’s still out on that,” you said, though by the time Ellie let out a laugh you were already unfolding your legs and moving so you were next to her.
She leaned forward, grabbing the bottom half of the laptop and lifting it. “Hey, do you want a blanket?”
“Sure.”
Ellie’s other hand grabbed the edge of her comforter and held it up.
Hesitantly, you slid your legs under and watched as Ellie did the same, awkwardly holding the laptop in the air before you were both settled enough to rest it on your covered right thigh and her left. “Better?”
When you nodded, she reached her tattooed arm out and pressed play. The audio picked back up, but you couldn’t for the life of you focus on the movie.
When Ellie had asked if you’d wanted a blanket, you were expecting her to toss the throw blanket that would really only fit one person at you, not invite you to get under the blankets with her. That was significantly more intimate.
You two were sitting close enough that your sides were touching, from shoulder to thigh. You could feel her chest lift with each breath, feel the heat coming off of her.
After a while, Ellie properly laid down, taking the laptop and hoisting it up so it rested on her lower abdomen as she settled into her pillow.
You gulped, your eyes flickering between her face and the screen. Ellie’s gaze was fixed intently on the screen, her eyes half lidded with exhaustion.
You could be tired too. You weren’t, of course—your heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. But she didn’t know that. It was normal to lay down next to her, right? You’d done that with Irena more times than you could count, and it was never weird. Yeah, you could do that.
Also, if you were totally horizontal, you would stop getting distracted by the sliver of her skin that her crooked shirt showed of her chest.
In a moment of blind courage, you scooted down so your head was lying right next to Ellie’s. She didn’t seem to react, just extending her hand from under the covers to steady the laptop as it wobbled from the movement.
Her sheets smelled like the soap that you used to wash your hair—a cottony freshness that had the slightest hint of lavender.
“Are you going to fall asleep on me?” asked Ellie after a while, her voice nothing more than a whisper.
“I could ask you the same thing,” you responded, equally quiet. Then, because you hadn’t made enough rash decisions for the night, you angled your head so it rested in the space right above her shoulder.
She inhaled sharply but didn’t move. On her next exhale a piece of her auburn hair tickled your forehead.
“How’re your stitches?” she asked suddenly, like she'd just remembered.
“They’re okay. I think. As stitches go.”
“After this is over, I’ll check on them,” she said. “Don’t let me forget, okay?”
“Okay,” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy. It was one thing for her to cut off your shirt and see your skin when she was trying to save your life while you were mentally gone. It was another thing altogether to pull up your shirt without adrenaline coursing through you.
You didn’t pay any attention to the rest of the movie, instead hyperfocused on the rhythm of Ellie’s breathing and the fact that if you moved just a little your chin would be on her shoulder.
Her mention of the stitches wasn’t helping at all, either. Now all you could think about was the embarrassing way you’d basically tried to crawl under her skin, burying your face into her and clutching at her clothes like you were a child.
A part of you was disappointed that you hadn’t been more lucid at the time. If you had, you would’ve been able to clearly remember the softness of her skin against yours. You would’ve been able to enjoy it for what it was—the only time you’d be able to touch her like that.
Because you couldn’t go around just grabbing onto her shirt and getting into her lap. That was a one-off, the only time that the rules were waived. You couldn’t touch her like that now, now that you didn’t have any excuse. It wasn’t allowed.
But sometimes you wanted to so badly that it hurt.
The movie ended abruptly, wrenching you out of your thoughts.
“Hey,” whispered Ellie. “Sit up so I can see.”
Reluctantly, you pressed yourself up from your back and began rolling up the hem of your shirt. Ellie twisted to face backwards, her thin top riding up and showing part of her back as she reached for the lamp.
Once golden light returned to the room, Ellie turned back and bumped your hands away. She bent over, tilting her head so that she was looking at the stitches straight on.
They didn’t look bad, you had to admit. Though you wouldn’t consider the actual experience of getting the stitches a 5-star experience, Ellie had clearly known what she was doing. The surrounding flesh didn’t look angry or irritated, and she’d pulled the stitches just tight enough without it puckering.
She prodded at the side, then gave a satisfied nod. “Looks good. What did I tell you? I’m really good at this sort of stuff.”
“I think you would’ve made a really good doctor,” you said once she’d sat up straight again. “Under different circumstances.”
“Is this you telling me that you don’t think I’m a good doctor now?” she teased.
“Your bedside manner could use some work,” you offered.
Ellie laughed then, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, yeah. You lived. You'll get over it.”
“Did you go to school?” you found yourself asking, hung up on the thought of Ellie as a potential medical student. If she’d been in one of your intro biology classes, you never would’ve been able to pay attention. That was a fantasy you could shelve away for later.
“Sort of,” said Ellie, looking down at her arms. “I went to a military prep school run by FEDRA. I didn’t graduate though—obviously. I was long gone by then.”
“Right,” you said, remembering that she’d mentioned that she’d been 14 when she’d left Boston. “And what was it like?”
She paused, opening her mouth before closing it. “It was—unkind. Joel's told me about schools before the outbreak. It was nothing like that. There were some normal classes, but most of it was meant to prepare us to be soldiers.”
“Is that where you learned how to do sutures?”
“Among other things.”
Terranova had no military academies, given that there was hardly any military presence. The founder of Terranova had bodyguards and there was a police force that controlled the borders, but it was nothing like Ellie described. With invisible borders and a social order that valued peace and tranquility over all else, there was no real danger posed to any of the citizens.
But from what you had learned from movies and books and comments from older people, you had gathered a very dim picture of what a military academy looked like—harsh, strict, and cruel.
“I’m sorry you had to grow up like that,” you said.
“It’s okay.”
“Is there anything you would want to study? If you could?”
Ellie’s eyes closed. “Yeah. There are a couple things.”
She did not elaborate.
~
It didn’t take long for you two to settle back into your routine of meeting in her room each evening and watching one of your downloaded movies. Following the night after you’d gotten your stitches, you wouldn’t even have to ask—Ellie would pull up her comforter and let you slide in next to her without giving you a second glance.
You’d also gotten over the fear of touching her. Now, when you flopped back so your head was on her pillow, you’d adjust until you were nestled into the crook of her neck. She never once reacted to it, remaining perfectly still unless she was adjusting the laptop or messing with the sound.
Because it was normal, of course. You and Irena would rest your head on each other’s shoulders sometimes. That was something that friends did.
One night a week or so into April, you and Ellie made a harrowing discovery: there was only one movie left in your collection that you two hadn’t seen together.
“Damn,” said Ellie, furrowing her brow. “And there’s no way to get more on here?”
“I’m afraid not,” you said, frowning. “To download more or stream one, I’d need either an Ethernet cable or a wi-fi connection. Neither of which function out here anymore without cell towers and maintained cables.”
“Right,” said Ellie, though her face told you that she didn’t understand a word that had come out of your mouth. “So—this is it?”
“Yeah.” Your finger hovered over the play button. “Savor it, I guess.”
When you settled back and into her side, the heavy weight of dread settled into your stomach. Now that you’d finished showing her your entire collection, it’s not like she’d have a reason to invite you over every night. And there was especially no reason for you two to lie so closely together unless you were both trying to watch something on a small screen.
Once again, your excuse to touch her was gone.
You pressed closer to her as your mind raced. There was no way that Ellie didn’t see what you were doing as platonic, right? Was it possible that she was creeped out by how touchy you were but just tolerated it to be nice?
Maybe. You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen. Ellie didn’t see you like…like that. She spoke to you like you were an obligation, a burden. Because you always had been. You’d been a responsibility thrust on her by a father figure who felt like he was indebted to you from that stupid bag of coffee you were lucky enough to bring.
Oh, god. Had Joel told her to befriend you? Had he asked for Ellie to pretend like she enjoyed spending time with you and to put up with your privileged, soft-hearted nonsense?
The knowledge that you were spiraling wasn’t enough to stop you. You did the best that you could—tried to remind yourself that it’d been a while since she’d looked disgusted with you, recall that she was outspoken enough to tell you to fuck off if you did something she didn’t like—but it was to no avail.
Ellie reached forward and hit pause on the movie, thrusting you both into silence.
“Is everything okay?” she asked after a moment.
“Yeah, why?”
“I can feel your heart going, like, crazy fast.”
You froze. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I was just thinking.”
Ellie pushed the laptop off of her, sitting up to give you an odd look. “About a near death experience or something? You running a marathon up there? That shit’s not normal.”
You laughed nervously. “It’s really nothing. Just an, uh, suspenseful movie.”
Which was actually really stupid of you to say, because you were watching some obscure Tarkovsky film that did nothing but pan over burning buildings and pensive men. For the past 5 minutes, there had been nothing on screen but the back of a car driving through traffic with minimal sound. Also, it was in Russian, and the English subtitles made zero sense.
There was a reason why this was the last movie you chose.
“This is the most boring fucking movie I’ve ever watched in my life, so you’re a dirty fucking liar,” said Ellie. Then her face pinched in worry. “Wait. Have you taken a look at your stitches lately?”
Before you could answer, she was grabbing a flashlight off her nightstand and yanking the comforter off you. She was pulling your shirt up when you finally found your voice.
“Wait!” you said, grabbing the bottom of your shirt and yanking it back in place. “It’s not—I don’t have an infection, okay? There’s nothing wrong with me. I really was just thinking, okay?”
“About what?” She reached back to place her flashlight back on the stand without taking her eyes off you.
“It’s nothing important.”
“If you say so.”
She picked the laptop up and placed it back on her thighs, lying back down. You followed suit, but this time you didn’t touch her, opting to keep as much distance as you could so she wouldn’t hear the stuttering of your heart.
Not even 5 minutes had passed before Ellie sat up to pause the video again.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“No. Why?”
“You’re acting weird,” she accused, but there wasn’t much conviction behind her voice.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re acting weird,” she repeated, shutting your laptop off and moving it to the bottom of her bed, despite the protests that left your lips.
“I don’t understand,” you said. “I’m just watching the movie. I’m not doing anything. “
“You’re not watching the movie,” she said. “You weren’t even looking at the screen. What’s got you so bothered? Did I do something?”
“Of course not.” You pulled your legs under you so your legs were crossed and your back was against the wall. “You don’t need to worry. It’s honestly fine. I’m sorry if I’ve done something to imply otherwise.”
Ellie rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing. “You stress me out. You can just tell me, you know? No need to be so cagey. I promise I’ve heard worse.”
“Don’t be so quick to say that.”
“Okay, now you have to tell me,” she said. “I’m never going to know peace again with a hook like that.”
You were about to open your mouth to tell her that it was stupid and that it didn’t matter, but something stopped you.
That was the coward’s way out. That’s what you’d always done—hid your feelings and concealed your emotions. That’s how you’d been raised. That’s how you thought everyone was. But now that you’d spent 2 months in Jackson, you’d realized that some people actually just said what they thought. And that, in the grand scheme of things, it was a better system than the Terranovian culture of superficiality.
Just because the you 2 months ago would have shook her head and changed the subject didn’t mean the you now had to.
Maybe this you could be different. Maybe, for once, this you could be brave.
“I really—” You stopped yourself. Saying I really like you didn’t even begin to encompass what you felt for the girl sitting across from you. To distill the sheer magnitude of your feelings down to four words felt criminal. The swell in your chest that never went away whenever you were near her could never and would never be adequately represented in the puny offerings of the Latin alphabet and the English language, and if you were going to do this, you were going to do it right.
You dared to look up at her for a moment. She was completely still, her green eyes reflecting the dim moonlight from outside. Once you met her gaze, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull it away.
“I’m really sorry that I’m putting you in an uncomfortable position for saying this,” you began (because old habits ran deep, and you would rather die than be impolite), “And I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me after this. And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”
“As much as I’m sure that this is some sort of cultural cornerstone for you, please spare me the 6 foot long disclaimer script,” Ellie drawled.
“Right.” You gulped. “Anyway. As I was saying.”
“Any day now.”
At that moment, she had never looked more perfect. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark lighting, so the weak moonlight that spilled in from the window above her created a halo around her head.
“It’s you.” Your voice came out tiny. “You’re all that I can think about, and I don’t know what to do.”
There. It was off your chest.
For a moment, it was as if you’d suspended time, stopping Earth on its axis as you both held your breaths. There was nothing but silence and the occasional wooden creak of the old house’s foundation in the wind.
Ellie’s face betrayed nothing, save for something in her eyes and the disappearance of the smirk that had been on her lips moments before.
Then she spoke, her response whispered.
“Come here, then.”
final a/n: NOW HOLD ON before you show up outside my dorm with pitchforks and torches 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i'm so sorry but this was a necessary evil as this was going to a massive scene without the chapter break. also a disproportionately massive chapter compared to the other ones coming out. i write very quickly and should get the following part out in a timeframe similar to the first 3 parts. thank u for reading ! tell me what you think abt this chapter while you wait x
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams self insert#ellie williams x oc#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams imagine
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