This isn’t actually a real problem it’s just a pet peeve of mine but every time I see someone write or draw Izzy and Ed as bright eyed bushy tailed kids(read late teens early 20s) on Hornigolds ship making dumb fuck promises to each other that they’re going to break/won’t be able to keep back before the world chewed them up and spit them out I die inside a little bit because there is a grizzled villain with a cold heart that plays that roll much better than Izzy ever could and it’s Calico fucking Jack. You are taking that roll away from my bestest boy.

Because like it or not there is canon evidence that Jack played that roll in Ed’s life and there’s no canon evidence that Izzy ever did, and in fact there’s evidence against it. I’ll start with the evidence against Izzy. It’s scant but it’s there. “I was honored to work for the legendary Blackbeard” is not something a man who has known Ed since before he was Blackbeard would say, but it is something someone who was hired on after the legend was already established would. everything about the way that Izzy acts about Ed being vulnerable all of a sudden screams that he didn’t know Ed before the Blackbeard mask.

Calico Jack on the other hand has textually known Ed since they first became outlaws. When they interact with each other they’re playing like they’re boys again, or at least much younger men. They drink like there’s no tomorrow, they put their bodies through hell in the name of fun, they line up empty bottles to shoot whip them of the fence boat railing, and they have a fun little name for everything. And while we the audience never see a softer side to Jack because he’s there with a specific nefarious goal and he is built to cause problems on purpose, we’re told it’s there by Ed. Ed, the one person on the ship who actually knows who the fuck Jack is tells us that “Jack’s always been a bit emotional, the two of you(Jack and Stede) actually have more in common than you think. I know he comes on a bit strong at first but he’s insecure.”

Like to me that establishes very clearly that they were friends when they were young and dumb, maybe not very close friends, but compatriots who bonded through the struggles they went through as young men who the world and their boss was beating down on, and that Jack at least opened up to Ed enough for Ed to know that he’s insecure. We also know that these two were fucking ambitious. They fucking grew up to be two of the most notorious pirates on the seven seas. If anyone was going to make stupid fucking promises to each other and then drift apart it would be them I can imagine Jack telling Ed that they’re always gonna be together and that the whole sea is gonna fear their names, and then at some point they out grow that. A ship only has one captain. The world chewed them up and spit them back out and made Ed bored, lonely, guilt ridden, and suicidal and it turned Jack into an alcoholic and a manipulative monster who believes that pirates don’t have friends and who chases his own pleasure at the expense of everyone else even himself. Like I can clearly see the through line to a relationship like I described with Ed and Jack but I have to really stretch my imagination to see Ed and Izzy that way. It just kind of annoys me when Izzy gets to have that spot in Ed’s life in the fandom’s mind when Jack is right there and that’s a good half of what makes Jack fun and interesting.

there’s death of the author and then there’s whatever the fuck is up with danny phantom

supernatural movie reboot but its a ghostfacers mockumentary about their attempt to make a “serious film” about sam and dean winchester. opens on ed and harry going “CUT!” and the camera pans to a guy that looks kind of like jared padalecki pulling off a party city wig. turns out the finale was actually part of the ghostfacer’s retelling of supernatural. Sam Dean and Castiel spend the entire movie chasing after ed and harry trying to stop the thing being made. (its a huge commercial success and they screen it at the destiel wedding)

((zombie ghost this, zombie ghost that, what about eldritch!soap who came back wrong??))

Al coming back from his travels: Xing was great! I've learned so much about alkahestry, and I think we're really making progress and getting Jerso and Zampano's bodies back! It was really nice to see Mei, and Ling is doing a great job as emperor, and I even got to visit some of Xing's neighbors to the east! I feel like I'm learning more about alchemy and alkahestry every day

Ed coming back from his travels: I Have Been Banned From Five Countries

i actually love that stede refused to give izzy the time of day. fandom can have their izzy redemption but its really important that at least at this point, stedes inherent kindness does not extend to someone who tried over and over again to completely ruin his life. stede doesnt owe someone who went above and beyond bullying (turning him in to the AUTHORITIES) anything at all actually, especially when it was to get in the way of not just his happiness but also to try to control ed

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH 2x06 Calypso's Birthday

A world where roses bloom

have some alphonses

it also caught me so off guard in episode 1 in particular that the crew clearly knew how much izzy was doing to protect them from ed?? no one's saying it out loud because it won't help but the hug, and the whole scene surrounding it, says they've all quietly been paying attention and worrying about him behind his back and it was a culmination of weeks and months of living like they were while knowing that izzy was bending over backwards to absorb as much of ed's rage and heartbreak and anger as possible in order to shield the rest of them??? help??

“the kids chose protective mom izzy in the divorce” is literally my new favorite joke to come out of s2 so far I’m utterly obsessed

god I love how ed keeps subverting gender norms and expectations. he's literally named for his beard, he's the most feared pirate on the seven seas, the legends describe him as some sort of devil-like figure with glowing eyes and a head of smoke, all the portraits of him are these hypermasculine caricatures, so you'd expect him to be toxic macho man but NO. he's ed teach. he's queer. he ties his hair in a bun. he has a shiny dangly earring. he paints his nails pink. he loves soft fabrics. he drinks his tea with seven sugars. he wears pearly necklaces. he cries a lot. he paints the bride cake topper to look like him. he wears eye makeup. he's emo. he writes a sad breakup song. he actively dislikes being blackbeard and putting that mask on anymore. he's everything to me he's one of the best characters of all time

long hair sokka truthers lets goooo [id in alt]

I have never played smash bros in my life

(Edit: I did a part two ayeee ✨ you guys are persuasive (affectionate))

give me more fics where Eddie runs into Steve and Robin, running around after being drugged (and tortured) by the Russians at Starcourt. Steve, dopy and sweet and acting like dumbest puppy- and did i mention his face was beat in? Robin, flailing all over steve and giggling with him as they sway, more intertwined than humanly possible, eyes unfocused. and Eddie, faking calm as he tries to herd them to a bathroom and planning to kill whoever drugged his these loopy sailors that he’s been annoying all summer.

have you heard? they're boyfriends <3

(prints, because why the heck not)

-

Shop | Instagram | Patreon