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shallowseeker · 1 year

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Amelia Novak + the wreckage of my family

Sometimes I think about Amelia Novak's 10x20 line of trying to put her family back together.

Amelia Novak, trying valiantly to protect Jimmy, after realizing he wasn't lying about the demonic world he'd gotten mixed up in. Although it was ultimately Jimmy who invited the Devil in, she perhaps thinks she'd failed to support him when he needed her the most. This guilt propels her into further ruin. (Images courtesy IMDB)

In SPN 10x20, Angel Heart, we get this:

AMELIA (tearfully): I was dreaming. This whole time, I was dreaming... of finding Jimmy, of putting my family back together. You're not him anymore. I can tell. CASTIEL: No. AMELIA: Where's Jimmy? CASTIEL: Your husband is in heaven. Amelia, I promised to protect your family, and I failed. AMELIA: Not if Claire's alive. She's all that matters. CASTIEL: Claire is alive. She's grown up to be a very strong-willed young woman. AMELIA: Oh, that's my girl. I just ... I shouldn't have ever left her. I-I thought if I could find Jimmy, I would make everything right. But I should've never left her. I shouldn't ... I shouldn't... (Amelia breaks down crying and Castiel embraces her)

You see Amelia...never stopped wanting to fix it. Like as it is with Dean (the symbolic mechanic), her devotion is marked by coming back together even after you've unimaginably failed one other. Like in SPN 7x17 The Born-again Identity:

CASTIEL: We didn't part friends, Dean. DEAN: So what? CASTIEL: I deserved to die. Now, I can't possibly fix it... So why did I even walk out of that river? DEAN: Maybe to fix it. Wait.

Sometimes, you are granted second chances, and sometimes, you are not.

Ultimately, both Jimmy AND Amelia fall prey to angels, and there is no second chance for them. It isn’t fair. It sucks. Faith can be a double-edged sword. Lo, faith in angels can be a triple-bladed dagger. It's a tragic thing.

And like when Dean touches a winged pony and sings along to Air Supply's "All Out of Love," and like Dean when searches desperately for Cas in Purgatory, Amelia is looking for Jimmy, desperately wanting to find him. Because she is consumed by regret and guilt. She feels like she did not support him when he needed her the most.

And what would you say if I called on you now And said that I can't hold on? There's no easy way, it gets harder each day Please love me or I'll be gone I'll be gone <Dean starts mouthing along> … I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without youI know you were right believing for so long I'm all out of love, what am I without you?I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong… Oh, what are you thinking of? <Sam, witnessing something unbearably private for his brother, awkwardly cuts the radio off>

///

In SPN 10x20, Angel Heart, we see that Amelia falls prey to Grigori.

This Grigori lures her with the illusion of the repair of her family. Just as Jimmy fell prey to the Heavenly warrior-class of Angel, who lured him with the promise of glory of purpose and the promise of protection for his family from the Apocalypse. (That's why we pray to gods, isn't it? To become under their holy protection?) But Grigori are a disturbing revelation about the truth of not just Grigori themselves, but the symbolic truth of angels as a whole, as well as their place in the predatory rank of the cosmic hierarchy, (at least in comparison to humans).

DEAN: Grigori. (Scene changes back to Sam walking through the house gun drawn and ready walking away from the kitchen doorway. We hear Dean say ‘The watcher angels’ as Holloway appears in the shadows of the open doorway. Scene changes back to Dean and Claire at the hotel) CLAIRE: So are they good or bad? DEAN: Well, some of the lore says that they, uh, they help people, and some says that they prey on people.

///

HOLLOWAY: I'm a Grigori. A watcher angel. SAM: Since when do angels feed on humans? HOLLOWAY: Since the dawn of man. SAM: What are you talking about? HOLLOWAY: Your souls... (Holloway walks behind Sam and Sam hides the nail in his hands) Are little slices of heaven that are, if properly kept, delicious meals that can last for years, decades even. SAM: You're not an angel. You're a monster. (Holloway laughs and reaches out to lightly punch Sam on the shoulder) HOLLOWAY: Ahh. (We see Sam’s hands using the nail to open the handcuffs) I prefer to think of myself as a gourmand. I make heaven a place on earth. Keeps me alive and hidden from the rest of the failures that call themselves angels. SAM: Oh, they are failures? Yeah, 'cause you're living so large in your own life. (Holloway turns around quickly and draws his sword on Sam so that it is pointing directly at Sam’s face) HOLLOWAY: There were hundreds of us, but now... (Holloway raises the sword up to show an inscription on the blade) Each of our names inscribed on our swords. A brotherhood of perfectly crafted, engineered beings sent to protect you pathetic, bottom-feeding disasters.

///

Amelia cannot repair the ghostly specter of her perfect family. But she can save what's left of it.

HOLLOWAY: You know there's no fixing her, right? (Claire drops Amelia and aims her gun at Holloway. She shoots him four times in the chest. On the fifth shot the gun clicks, as if it’s empty. Claire shoots several more times with the same result. Holloway shakes his head and walks towards Claire, Angel sword in hand) HOLLOWAY: You really think that's gonna hurt an angel of the Lord? (Holloway moves to strike Claire and Amelia jumps in between them) AMELIA: No! Aah! (Holloway stabs Amelia straight through the chest and then pulls out the sword. Amelia falls to the ground and Claire kneels behind her, holding her up. Holloway looks on, smirking) CLAIRE (crying): Mom! Mom! Mom!

Dean, too, tried to save what was left of his family. With John gone, he followed in his father's footsteps, reaching for the protection of the child at his own expense.

"I was dreaming... of finding Jimmy, of putting my family back together."

And that's sort of what Sam & Dean are doing the whole time, and why he and Sam both hang in this terrible ghost of arrested development. They're reaching for this broken, idealized childhood that they were denied. They crave that lost, nebulous ghost of stability and trust.

“Fixing” is admirable; it's a sign of devotion. But it can also foolhardy when carried to extremes. Sometimes, you get second chances, and sometimes you do not.

There's no perfect answer. Only...

...that hope is so very, very human.

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shallowstories · 1 year

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Jimmy & Cas look so different

In the Wayward Daughters fic I started writing, where Claire is cursed to become the hero (and new target of God), most of my writing was driven by the need to have Jimmy Novak back on the earth.

That is, when Dean busts them all out of Heaven, and they fall, because of their circumstances, he is forced to watch Amelia & Jimmy cling to one another. (As they should. They deserve it.) But it also drudges up guilty, painful emotions.

(And Amelia is so damn understanding about it, too.)

But and of course, thanks to everything, Claire's relationship with Amelia & Jimmy is a dreadful thing.

///

Anyway, my point is that when Jimmy comes back, in a body, he looks like he's always owned it. He's aged like fine wine, like a hot professor. BUT he's reedier and different looking to Cas. He has bad hunched posture and different expressions and even his voice is different. You'd never EVER confuse the two.

It's sort of like those instances of identical twins that wind up looking so different because of how they use their bodies.

Cas holds himself so upright, so strongly. And he's bulkier because over time, he's chosen to use his body like a holy battering ram.

///

Through Max Banes, they both wind up inhabiting bodies, at the same time, on the earth. An impossible-seeming duplication. And you get to see those differences up close.

#angels & vessels #spn + what are bodies anyway #spn + bodies #jimmy #amelia #claire #the novak family #jimmy & cas #dean/cas + grief #dean + longing #amelia/jimmy #cas + vessel

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hs-gmac · 2 years

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Jimmy’s Heaven Jimmy&Amelia, Castiel

"What happened to Jimmy Novak and his family, it's my greatest regret."

#supernatural #castiel #jimmy novak #amelia novak #crayon #colored pencil #spn #castiel fanart #jimmy novak fanart #spn fanart #sketchbook #drawing #misha collins #traditional art #sketches #sketch

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annafoxyfrrr-blog · 6 months

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Has anyone looked at the Treasure Planet here?

I just remembered this childhood cartoon from 2002

And, most likely, this is one of those cartoons that infected me with a love of fantasy and adventure

Space Pirates

Treasures

Cool and not boring characters

Kosmoooos ✨

Jimmy (the guy on the bottom right) was generally the first childhood crush on a fictional character 🤭

Morphy (this incomprehensible liquid on Silver's shoulder) resembles jelly from a jar

Such a chemical but delicious)

I definitely recommend it

Definitely went to review 👋🏻

#treasure #art #digital art #drawing #Captain #Treasure Planet #Jimmy #amelia

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thegoodwitchevie · 2 months

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these bobs burgers songs give me chills every time

youtube

#louise belcher #bobs burgers #gene belcher #tina belcher #songs #bobs burgers songs #linda belcher #zeke #jimmy jr #christmas episodes #8th grade runner #Amelia #Youtube

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cas-dyke · 2 months

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i could talk forever about how much i love the music of spn, but blue eyes cryin in the rain in s10x20 SPECIFICALLY got me SO bad- “Some day when we meet up yonder. We'll stroll, hand in hand again, in a land that knows no parting.”???? amelia and jimmy reuniting in heaven?????? 10/10

#spn #i love soundtracks #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #castiel supernatural #dean supernatural #sam winchester #claire supernatural #claire novak #jimmy novak #amelia novak #spn s10 #blue eyes cryin in the rain #willie nelson

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supernatural-24 · 2 months

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"I learnt my lesson while I was away dean, I serve heaven not man, and I certainly don't serve you"

damn cas is really breaking everyone's hearts this episode

#spn 4x20 #dude i feel so bad for Amelia and the daughter #i'm kinda spamming this blog atm sorry #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #destiel #supernatural2024 #cas supernatural #deancas #jimmy novak #cas (supernatural)#supernatural season 4 #spn season 4

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collarbjt · 1 month

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SPN 1021

What‘s happened to Amelia ???????? Is that Genie??????

Both trouble teens 🤣 Cas you attack them with the fact

Claire pretends to be mean, but she‘s still a kid, naive and innocent, all obvious

Dean’s joking is so.scared!🙄

Dean’s thoughts about kids make me sad. Better and stronger to be alond…?whatthe….. Joohnnnnn

Sam is very good at taking care of teens. Well, she taught her some illegal tricks, but well that’s

Awwww Claire and Castiel have same vibe🥹

Haha Claire and Dean combi, Sam and Cas adults leaven those two kiddos.

Sam’s thought is different with Dean…. Sam thought Claire must be with Cas. Bc Dean take care of young Sammy…….🥹🥹🥹 I’m crying

Oh Dean is so annoying adult lol wait nononahh he’s a pro hunter

Gregories! New hierarchy of angel

Aha Dean, such a badass adult. Well Claire may love that birthday present…maybe.

Hey angels, seriously, you guys need to complain to the god first.

Oh Claire, so lovely adorable kid…Amelia’s so lucky to have her

Wtf Amelia!!!!!! Nooooo!!!!! Just sing the Gregorian chant as you name, and don’t be a troublemaker

Ohhhh Heaven….. Jimmy and Amelia met again….. but guys your kid is still in the human world ohno…

What Claire goes to Jody?????? Such a wonderful choice!!!

Dean ya understand kids’ heart! Yeah every wannabe-hunter kids need an angel’s sword and enochian dictionary.

Girl, carry on wayward with a good old music. Go girl, wish you a luck. Be a great adult.

#spn #supernatural #amelia novak #claire novak #jimmy novak #currently watching #castiel #spn season 10 #spn 10x21 #dean winchester #sam winchester #gregory

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shallowseeker · 5 months

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Jimmy 🤝 Cas

#amelia novak #jimmy novak #castiel #dean #spn 12x19 #spn 4x20 #the spiral of being important #on detrimental self-reliance and the need to be important

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confusedkittensposts · 4 months

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I think Castiel getting sort of adopted by the Novaks is a fun daynamic. I mean sure it rips the show story lines apart, but it's just too amazing not to consider.

Like Jimmy 'he is such a dad Novak got possessed by an angel with no Earth experience and no self preservation what so ever and he was unaffected, Nah

Jimmy probably would be angry at first, because he also had a crisis of faith and then Cas has one and he helps Cas through it.

Also, Jimmy answering all of Cas' questions about humans and Cas helping him come in terms with what Jimmy had given up, when he prayed to help in God's plan. They come to an arrangement of sorts

Cas flying off to Novak home or giving Jimmy control whenever Winchesters irritate him.

Amelia being baffled and scared but slowly coming to like Cas, to a point where Cas and her gang up on Jimmy, because 'he is very helpful, unlike you, Jimmy'

Claire being very confused as a child, but growing up with her parents and a guardian angel and getting used to it.

#aaahhhh #I don't generally think about early season aus #atleast not pre S5 #but this is amazing #castiel #jimmy novak #amelia novak #claire novak #au #silly ideas wayyy past my bed time

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deancasforcutie · 1 year

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when you’re trapped in a loop of reuniting with your dead husband only to find you can’t trust that he’s really there to stay with you :(

#no coherent thoughts just pain! funny (excruciating) how the Jimmy Novak ending would've put Dean through p much the exact same thing #and in a way he IS evidently trapped in traumatic memories rn #on the bright side guess WHO ELSE could do a mutual ily in a shared Heaven :')#dean winchester #castiel #destiel #amelia novak #jimmy novak #spnedit #supernatural #spn #10.20 #13.06 #15.19 #mine

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thebeautyofspn · 1 year

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4x20 The Rapture

#4x20 #the rapture #thebeautyofspn #supernatural #spn #supernatural aesthetic #spn aesthetic #amelia novak #claire novak #jimmy novak #the novaks #season 4

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notreallyaroad · 1 year

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day 4 : grief

here's my first, late, and possibly only submission for the @spnpoetryrenaissance !

a poem for amelia, in honor of rewatching 10x20 and the feelings it gave me.

#yall know i am a cas lover before i am a human being but i feel like amelia deserves to hate him!!#spnpoetryrenaissance #amelia novak #claire novak #jimmy novak #cas #castiel #writing #spn 10x20 #angel heart

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insanesonofabitch · 7 months

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15x20 except they pull a 7x17 with Jimmy and Amelia.

#homophobic destiel #one last hate crime before they go #supernatural #spn #spn 7x17 #the born again identity #spn 15x20 #carry on #spn finale #destiel #deancas #casdean #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #jimmy novak #amelia novak

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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months

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I open tumblr and I see your post about sharing custody of jimmy novak. 10/10 great start of the day, hilarious idea

<3 they could literally just have set up a schedule. castiel gets him on weekends when he’s having his affair with crowley. amelia gets him during the weekdays because she needs him to take claire to school. all four of them go to church together and it’s the worst family bonding experience anyone’s ever had.

#in my mind this keeps happening post godstiel too cas shows up on amelia’s doorstep jacked up on leviathan like :)#‘it’s church day!!! today i will kill a homophobic priest in front of you and your daughter and install myself as your new god!!!#also jimmy says he liked the casserole you made last week!’#its very funny! it IS a hostage situation. but like amelia & claire’s alternate life is ‘amelia gets kidnapped and her daughter has no one #for most of a decade and then her mom dies in her arms’#so like at least in this version that doesn’t happen. they just have to deal with cas/jimmy coughing up black gunk all over the kitchen #table while they try to have family breakfast. claire gets to watch her father burn up around the souls of purgatory while cas insists that #he has Everything Under Control <3 this can’t possibly be traumatic #spn #ask #castiel spn #jimmy novak #amelia novak #claire novak

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arsonistsam · 2 years

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