#am i the only one actively editing grandpa into other beds??
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He will become a farmer
#someone asked for it on the og post#am i the only one actively editing grandpa into other beds??#i thought thats what we were doing but all of the edits ive seen have been using the of grandpa image#loss#loss.jpg#grandpa stardew#stdv#meme#notes are already blowing up just take this and run with it
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Pregnancy Prompts
Taken from a lot of awesome lists! This is just a lot easier for me though I’ll be editing in where I got them
I don’t take credit for any of these.
I’ll be happy to take some Devil May Cry requests { really in the mood to write some things for those characters }
Pregnancy/Family Prompts/Starters
Discovery
1:“This is your fault!Take responsibility.”
2:One party finds out they’re pregnant while the other party is away/captured/missing.
3:Hiding pregnancy from the other partner.
4:“I didn’t think we’d ever do it.”
5:“My parents are gonna be so happy.”
6:“My parents are gonna kill me.”
7:“Do you think it’ll be a boy, or a girl?”
During Pregnancy
8:Baby kicks for the first time.
9:Discussing baby names.
10:Cuddling.
11“You’re not fat, you’re pregnant, and even if you were fat, I don’t care. I love you.”
12:“I dunno if I’ll be a good Mom/Dad.”
13:“I’m emotional and pregnant, leave me alone.”
14:“Get them to settle down in there, will you?”
Labor/After Birth
15:“Baby’s coming, now.”
16“Don’t let go of my hand, okay?”
17:“I can’t do this.”
18:A long and difficult labor, with a good or bad end.
19:“I’m going to kill you if you do this to me again.”
20:Parents relaxing with their newborn(s)/looking at them in awe.
21:“I will always protect you.You can do this.”
1. “Shh, it’s okay, you don’t need to cry.”
2. “Do you want a bed time story?”
3. “[mama/papa]’s got you.”
4. “…How on earth did you manage to get up there?”
5. “Put the cookie down, eat your dinner first.”
6. “I think I can feel them kicking!”
7. “Quick, I think the baby is coming!”
8. “Where did you put your blankie this time.”
9. “One little shoe. Two little shoes. Already to go out.”
10. “They have grown so much, it’s hard to believe how little they used to be.”
11. “I want another baby.”
12. “Say goodbye to mama and papa, they’ll be back soon.”
13. “Stomach bug?”
“No, morning sickness.”
14. “It could be worse?”
“They got jam everywhere!”
15. “You really are your [mother/father]’s child.”
16. “So… the baby is fine, I want you to know that first, they are absolutely fine.”
“What did you do?”
17. “They won’t stop crying and, in a minute, I think I am going to start crying first.”
18. “Stop wiggling! I need to get you changed!”
19. “You are perfect, my little [pet name].”
20. “Did you have a bad dream?” //
“Uh huh.”
“Come on, get into bed with us, you can sleep in bed with us tonight.”
21. “Take a break. I’ll stay up with them, you need some sleep.”
22. “How did you get pen that high up the wall?”
23. “Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t… You vomited on me.”
24. “How many coffees is that?” / “You try having a toddler who refuses to go to bed.”
25:“I hope they have your eyes.”
26:“We’re gonna need more diapers than that.”
27;“How do you like the nickname grandpa/grandma/grandparent?”
28:“Would you prefer something else over uncle/aunt [name]?”
29:“The petting zoo is closed, now stop touching me.”
30:“Whenever you stop talking, they start kicking.”
31:“Look! A foot! Hah, it’s like an alien is inside me/you.”
32:“I’m 41 weeks and 2 days, how do you think I’m doing?”
33:“If you don’t stop laughing, I’ll kick you. Now help me up!”
34:“Uh, its called the “pregnant privilege”.”
35:“Don’t spoil their kid’s taste in music with your trashy playlist.”
36:“Everyone is staring at me…”
37:“Originally, I wanted to pick this up off the floor, that was mistake number 1. Now, I’ve just accepted my fate that I’ll never get back up again.”
38“It’s just one cup of coffee, relax.”
39;“Lets take it slow, we gotta get through having this one before we think of having more.”
40:“Can’t wait for you to meet them.”
41:“I know it’s 3 AM, but do you know what I could really go for right about now?”
42:“Don’t panic, they’re just Braxton Hicks.”
43:“What’s so funny?”
44: “Lets have a baby.”
Pregnancey
1. “Did you feel him/her/them kick?”
2. “Do you think I’ll be a good mom/dad?”
3. “Babe, wake up. The baby is having a party in here! Give me your hand!”
4. “Hospital! Now!”
5. “Boy or Girl?”
6. “Can we name the baby after me?”
7. “Can you put the crib together!”
8. “Cuddle me now!”
9.“I’m pregnant…”
10. “I hope he/she has your eyes.”
11. “You want to paint the nursery what?!”
12.
"so… i have some news.“
13.
"okay i just want to say that, yes, i have gained some weight… but it’s because i’m pregnant.”
14.
"better get your dad jokes ready.“
15.
"right here! right here’s a foot!”
16.
"the little one is quite active today.“
17.
"is that a hand?!”
18.
"maybe you should try reading a book to them?“
19.
"come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy!”
20.
"the top of the baby’s head is about… here. and a foot is right this way.“
21.
"do you think the baby would be down if i ate some chipotle?”
22.
"coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn i need some caffeine.“
23.
"watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now.”
24.
"my feet are so swollen…!“
25.
"ew, my stretch marks are so gross…”
26.
"the baby will not stop kicking my bladder, so that is why i refuse to leave the toilet.“
27. “Honey you’re pregnant that’s all baby. You look beautiful.”
Newborn and Baby
1. “He/She is up again.”
2. “I’ll get the baby, you go back to sleep.”
3. “So sweet!”
4. “I have found your mini-me.”
5. “Babe!! We are out of formula…again!”
6. “Stop being a baby hog!”
7. “They’re gorgeous!!”
8. “This parent thing is hard!”
9. “You both are precious!”
10. “I love you both so so much!”
11. “Oh…it’s everywhere…I didn’t realize babies…went so much…”
12. “I’ve got it, go back to sleep.”
13. “Wake up, the baby needs you.”
14. “I can’t change their diaper without you getting sick It’s a little frustrating.”
15. “Momma’s little baby, yes you are.”
16. “Daddy’s little baby, yes you are.”
Toddler
1. “That’s your son/daughter!”
2. “They are walking!!!”
3. “I love it when fall asleep on me.”
4. “she/he keeps crying for you.”
5. “Can I hold them!”
6. “Can I pick they’re outfit out today?”
7. “Daddy’s little girl/boy.”
8. “Mummy’s little girl/boy.”
9. “she /he is never going to be aloud to date!”
10. “Was that a word?!?”
11. “This kid is gonna have a better childhood than I did.”
12. “Honey our little angel just flushed his/her toy down the toilet!”
1: ❝ watermelon like that- oh. ❞
2:❝ Can I touch your stomach? ❞
3:❝ Who’s the daddy? ❞
4:❝ HI LITTLE GUYYYYYY. ❞
5:❝ How many weeks? ❞
6❝ Does it hurt? ❞
7:❝ That’s a living thing in there. A real living thing. ❞
8:❝ I think I deserve extra food since I’m eating for two. ❞
9:❝ Does this make me look fat? ❞
10:❝ No, I get to sleep twice as long because I’m sleeping for the both of us. ❞
11:❝ It’s a boy/girl. I am calling him/her ___. ❞
12:❝ Did someone say shopping spree? The baby room isn’t going to furnish itself. Also you have to carry everything. ❞
13:❝ I used to sneak food into theatres like this, but now I’m sneaking a baby in. ❞
14:❝ NOTHING FITS ME ANYMORE. ❞
15:❝ I’d be fine if I had three bowls of ice cream with diced bananas and sprinkles and a scoop of nutella and three potato chips and- ❞
16:❝ My stomach is like a table now. Look, I can balance all these chocolates on there and- oh.. the baby kicked it off.. ❞
- announcing
❛ so… i have some news. ❜
❛ you look at it, i’m too nervous. ❜
❛ it came back positive. ❜
❛ so… hypothetically, if we were to have a baby, how would you react?❜
❛ okay i just want to say that, yes, i have gained some weight… but it’s because i’m pregnant.❜
❛ better get your dad jokes ready. ❜
❛ you’re going to be a parent! ❜
- questions / hopes / concerns
❛ what names do you like? ❜
❛ i wonder if they’ll like _____. ❜
❛ do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl? ❜
❛ what if i’m a bad mom/dad? ❜
❛ i hope they like me. ❜
❛ so… do you know… what breast milk tastes like? ❜
❛ if my kid turns out like __insert person__ i’ll be pretty pleased. ❜
❛ do you think they’ll have your eyes? ❜
❛ who should we make the god parents? ❜
❛ i haven’t told __insert person__ yet… how should i tell them?❜
- belly feeling / watching / interactions
❛ right here! right here’s a foot!❜
❛ the little one is quite active today.❜
❛ is that a hand?! ❜
❛ maybe you should try reading a book to them? ❜
❛ come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy! ❜
❛ the top of the baby’s head is about… here. and a foot is right this way. ❜
- cravings
❛ do you think the baby would be down if i ate some chipotle? ❜
❛ coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn i need some caffeine. ❜
❛ watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now. ❜
- other ( reactions, complaints, etc. )
❛ my feet are so swollen…! ❜
❛ ew, my stretch marks are so gross… ❜
❛ the baby will not stop kicking my bladder, so that is why i refuse to leave the toilet. ❜
❛ i’m… going to be a dad/mom?! ❜
❛ well how far along are you?!❜
❛ you’re kidding! ❜
“I’ve always wanted to be a mother/father!”
“We’ve waited a long time for this.”
“Do you want to feel the baby kick?”
“Give me your hand so you can feel it, too”
“We have to finish the nursery. There’s only two weeks left.”
“Have we bought everything on the baby list?”
“I can’t wait to finally hold it”
“You’re glowing!”
“There is something I have to tell you…”
“Hello little one, this is your daddy speaking..”
“I think it likes me touching your belly.”
“I can feel it kick!”
“My back aches and I want ice cream.”
“I can’t hide my bump any longer. I think we need to tell people.”
“I heard the heart beat for the first time.”
“Do you want to see an ultrasound picture?”
“You’re going to be an amazing mom/dad!”
“What would you say about adding one more? The house is big enough.”
“I think my water just broke…”
“Do you think it’s contractions?”
“Call the midwife, this is not a false alarm.”
“I think it’s too late to drive to the hospital, the baby is coming NOW.”
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Positive (Part 7) - Loki x Reader
Sorry for the longer wait on this one guys, super long week with things going wrong >.> Finally was able to just sit down and write it. I also did a few edits for this part that I thought would be fun, and will be at the bottom of the story!
Hope you all enjoy, and let me know if you want to be tagged :)
Paring: Loki x Reader
Part #: 7
Word Count: 2,022
Description: A mutant member of the Avengers finds out she’s pregnant with her boyfriend Loki’s baby, are they ready for this?
Warnings: Pregnancy, jealousy
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Masterlist
(Gif doesn’t belong to me)
As Loki finds himself on the New York streets again, his steps feel lighter than he can remember in a long time. Finding the bench he previously occupied a few months prior when he felt the weight of the universe on his shoulders, he takes a moment to sit and take it all in.
His love, the most spectacular woman in the nine realms, he has no doubt, is his. She’s alive, and well, and everything he never knew he needed. “If only mother had been able to meet you,” he says softly as he scrolls through their walls of texts. Ever the affectionate one, she reminded him regularly exactly what he meant to her, something he appreciated more than he could ever begin to explain.
Then their daughter. His daughter. He somehow had something to do with that little wiggling being they saw on the screen. How he’d been given the chance after all he’s done to bring a child into existence, he didn’t know. How two people with some of the worst experiences involving parenting, were now being given this innocent being to care for and do right in a way they weren’t.
As much as he didn’t like to admit it, the Avengers themselves were a part of this new life he was falling in love with. Through Y/N and their coming daughter, he’d been spending more time with the other Avengers, and coming to actually enjoy the presence of his new found family. They’d accepted him in after everything he’d done, even if there were still plenty of comments made. They were still all a bit… much for him at times. But the way they care for Y/N and their child, is worth any of that.
Then Thor. The ever present shadow he felt he was always in. Thor’s brother. Always was just Thor’s brother. Finding out he wasn’t even the shadow role he’d been stuck in had hurt him more than he could ever have expected. Though he still loved Thor as a brother, and the last year in the tower had been good for them. He finally felt he could stand beside Thor as a brother, and not just a shadow.
Which led to the last thing. Acceptance. Discovering himself. Knowing himself and who he is. All of them together had combined to contribute to that. But he awards that mainly to his daughter. Trying to step up and actively be a the man she deserves as a father, that she can be proud of, and that she can depend on.
There was just one last problem. Loki smirks to himself as he scrolls through his phone photos of Y/N and he. Countless selfies she’d taken of them fill up his gallery, with random photos of himself with captions she’d left. “Just one last piece.”
Not quite sure where to begin, he finds himself drifting toward the familiar book store once again. Spotting the worker from his previous visit, he quickly walks over, “Could you direct me to the books on crafting jewelry?”
(From Loki’s phone)
-
Collapsing down into the office chair of his newly rented hotel room, Loki sorts through the things he’s bought, books on the history of ring designs, crafting jewelry, midgardian customs, several sketch pads, and some pencils. “This is going to be nearly impossible to hide,” he groans to himself looking around the room.
He sighs and finally sets himself to work flipping through the books, and sketching out bits and pieces he likes as time goes by.
-
Y/N comes out of their shared room, Loki’s sweatshirt over her and their bed sheets cocooned around her body. Everything ached and she was so damn cold.
Stephen had let her return to the dormitory floors under the promise she’d go straight to bed. Which she did. For a little while.
Walking out to the living room she finds Bucky alone watching movie on the couch.
“Buck,” she whines pulling the covers around herself tighter.
He jumps, having been so entranced in the show and his eyes darting to her, “Y/N! You’re supposed to be in bed! You can’t be up walking around with fresh stitches.”
“Have you seen Loki?” She asks looking out the window, the sky starting to darken. “He left at like 10:30 this morning and he’s still not come back to the room.”
“Haven’t seen him,” Bucky replies finally pausing his movie. “I don’t think he came back yet.”
She frowns and then sighs loudly looking at her friend with pleading eyes, “Bucky, I’m sooooo cold.”
“Then get back in bed,” he responds with a grin.
“It’s not helping,” she whines back at him, trying to make herself look as sad as possible. “This girl is half ice giant Buck, she’s freezing me from the inside out.”
His eyes widen in realization as he pats the seat next to him, “Didn’t think of that Y/N, here come watch the movie with me.”
She quickly crawls onto the couch, and snuggles into her friend’s warmth with a content sigh, “So warm.”
He rolls his eyes and puts an arm around her before starting the movie back up as they sit in comfortable silence.
“Is this really old Zorro?” She mumbles, her mind starting to get fuzzy with sleep.
“Yeah,” he responds rubbing her shoulder. “One of my favorites from back before I enlisted.”
“Hm,” she nods. “So what did you do for fun in the 1940s then beyond Zorro, Grandpa?”
He smirks down, “Oh the usual. Camping, some woodworking occasionally, and taking out the dames to the local dances.”
“Scandalous man you are Bucky,” she chuckles. “And how was Steve with these dames?”
Bucky throws his head back with a laugh, “Oh just the complete and utter ladies man he is to this day Y/N. You know our Steve, the regular heart breaker.”
“Those poor girls, never knew what they were in for,” she clicks her tongue. “Steve the Casanova he is.”
“So how are you feeling?” He asks suddenly.
“A lot warmer,” she replies happily. “You exude manly heat.”
-
“You exude manly heat.”
Loki hears as he enters the kitchen behind the living room. His chest tightening as he hears Y/N’s familiar laugh tangled with one of the male Avenger coming from the next room.
“I aim to please miss.”
He slams the bag of food in his hands on the counter, the bang causing the pair to go silent.
“Bruce don’t Hulk out in the kitchen!” Y/N yells over, followed by more laughter.
Steeling his face, Loki presses on into the living room where he finds Y/N curled up into Bucky, his arm around her. “Wrong Avenger,” he responds with a tense smile. “So what exactly is going on here?”
“Loki!” Y/N yells, her eyes lighting up. “The long lost prince has finally returned.”
Bucky makes a gagging noise as he lifts his arm from around her shoulders, acknowledging the slightly menacing gaze he’s getting from Loki.
“As I said I would,” he responds, his eyes still flickering between her and the other man. “What have you two been up to? And why aren’t you in bed?”
“I was so damn cold,” Y/N states, “That frost giant DNA is freezing me from the inside I swear. I came out here looking for you, but someone has been gone all day. So I’m using Bucky for his warmth and watching his old man movie.”
His eyes widen immediately, “How cold? Is it burning? Are you in pain?”
“No no no,” she says holding a hand up to stop him, “Just feel’s like I’m unprepared for the cold weather I’ve walked out into. Nothing serious.”
Loki nods and continues to look at her, his chest still tight from her words. “I’m sorry I can’t be the one to help with that,” he says stiffly.
“Your sweatshirt helps,” she grins lifting the sheets from around her body.
He forces a small smile, “I’m guessing you won’t be wanting that ice cream then. Luckily I brought some warm food as well if you haven’t eaten. Which you haven’t I’m assuming?”
Her face turns slightly red, “Yeah… I haven’t thought about it.”
He sighs and holds his hands out to help lift her from the couch, “You get in bed, I will bring the food.”
“Sounds good prince charming,” she says with a wink, and stretches up to kiss his cheek.
After Y/N has made it back to their room, Loki’s gaze immediately goes back to Bucky.
“I was comforting my cold pregnant friend, prince charming,” he says turning his movie back on. “Don’t get bent out of shape.”
Loki scowls at him, “I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t curl up romantically with my girlfriend on the couch.”
Bucky smirks back at him rolling his eyes, “Romantically? Someone worried?”
“No!” Loki yells back crossing his arms. “I’d just appreciate you keeping your hands off my girlfriend Buchanan before I have to do something about it.”
Bucky leans back against the couch unfazed, “If you couldn’t tell that was merely friendly comfort and you are that unconfident in your relationship, you have worse things to worry about.”
“I just almost fucking lost her for Odin’s sake,” Loki snaps. “Of course I am fucking worried mortal. I trust her. But I just almost lost her. I… I don’t need to explain this to you.”
The other man’s expression softens as he pulls himself up from the couch, and walking over to him putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “You should be more open like that, it makes you a lot more likable. But understand this, she’s a good friend and I was just comforting her. Even if I was interested, she’s very obviously in love. Don’t strain that with jealousy.” He turns the tv off before leaving to go back to his own room, leaving Loki standing in the middle of the room processing everything.
Finally he moves from his spot to take care of the ice cream and grab the dinner he’d brought them back to their bedroom. Setting the food out on the table in their room, he feels her arms snake around his waist.
“So…” she says softly laying a cheek against his back.
“You probably shouldn’t do that,” he responds with a sigh, trying to shrug out of her embrace. “You’re going to make yourself colder.”
However, she clings onto him tighter, “Worth it.”
The tightening in chest starts to relax at her words, “Really now?”
“I missed you,” she responds, kissing his back. “I’ve been thinking about our little girl.”
“Me too,” he says as he twists in her grip so he’s facing her. “I’m going to have two exquisite girls in my life, I’m a very lucky undeserving man.”
She smiles up at him, “No, you’re a strong, intelligent, sensitive, passionate, and loving man that’s gone through a lot to be the man I wake up next to every morning.”
His eyes start to prickle at her words, all tension leaving his body as he stares into her eyes, “Y/N…”
“So I might not be able to have that ice cream right now,” she states smirking up at him. “But I believe I have one other request owed to me. And I plan on collecting it.”
“Oh Is that right?” He asks, his lips coming near her own, able to feel his cool breath on her face. “Remind me, what is that?”
“I believe, your highness, that you owe me a kiss,” she whispers back.
“I couldn’t refuse you now could I?” He asks before pressing their lips together. The sweet simple kiss growing more passionate as his tongue slips into her mouth. She groans into his mouth, pulling him flush with her own body, her knees starting to go a little weak when he breaks the kiss.
She gasps for air as she stares up at the god in her arms. “Satisfactory darling?”
“Very much so. But I have a question,” she replies.
“Hm?” He responds stroking her back.
“Where have you been all day?”
Uh oh.
----------------------------
Y/N’s snaps of her life with Loki & the team
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Part 6 Part 8 Masterlist
Tag List: Sorry if some didn’t tag properly, some were giving me issues :$ And hopefully I didn’t forget anyone. Thank you all of you for following this ❤️
@ihavenofilter @zombiefied-gay-ghost @talinalani @chloe-skywalker @shanetoo @shitty-imagines-95 @roryomxlley @afangirlamongotherthings @servamp-addict @moonfaery @thefallenbibliophilequote @arielletheavenger @lucacangettathisass @draconicyeet @i-love-loki-its-unhealthy @tokoyamisstuff @whennoonethinksyoucanyoumust @ximi27 @throughartistseyes @islaylivesinshire @starfox-92
@ink-and-starlight @markusstraya @peacefulfall @maximofos @hiddlestoner3059 @theartsypoetess @heart-shaped-hell @twiling-lady @beaisahuntress @my–heroine @starlight-in-the-universe @imnomundanenoramuggle @h3artshaped-box @sarahivi @the1weliveinnow
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WATCHMEN - THE SUPER EXTENDED CUT
IMDB BLURB: In 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.
WARNINGS: Giant blue peen, large bepis. It's blue. Malin Ackerman can't act for shit. Attempted rape. Lots of murder. Some gore. Adult themes? Zack Snyder. Repulsive sex scene. It's not gross, it's just weird and uncomfortable. And unnecessarily long.
RATING: Who watches the Watchmen? Us...unfortunately.
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this. And please please don’t watch this fucking movie.
MUNCH: I want you to know, first thing, that I will never forgive you for making me watch this for a THIRD TIME. I first saw this in the theatre on my birthday and it was awful then. I spent three hours waiting for it to get better and it didn't and now you're making us watch the super extended version with 30 more minutes of shit I DON'T WANT TO SEE. I am old and I was a fan of the comic long before this detritus was filmed. I was actually excited for this shit. This movie, like a lot of the movies we review once a year, is bad. It's pretty, it's well filmed, it has a brilliant cast, and it sucks like a Dyson trying to fellate a rubber chicken.
BISCUITS: Okay...I'm gonna be upfront about this. We're gonna have to be here for each other during this review. We need to BELIEVE in ourselves, and to share our mental fortitude. That might be the only way we'll be strong enough to make it through. Even then, there's no guarantee we'll make it...but if we do, we'll emerge from the other side as changed women, now knowing the true power that the bond of friendship can hold. Or not. Actually, we'll probably just end up sad. But the point is, we need to be here for each other.
M: The Nixon makeup is so bad. All this budget and he looks like a half melted wax statue.
These are the Nixons, folks.
B: Jeffrey Dean Morgan in old age makeup? I'd still smash that. The DOOMSDAY CLOCK! That's a reference to the comic! Get it?! We're JUST like the comic!
M: That's part of what bugs me, there's so many moments just taken straight out of the comic and then the rest of it is just Zack Snyder mentally masturbating about how cool he is.
B: Let me tell you younguns - long before the days of Suicide Squad and Batman V. Superman, Zack Snyder created the first of many tragic mistakes in the saga of "DC and Warner Bros. Attempt to Movie". It was dark, overdramatic, and had little substance behind its superficially good visuals. But Warner Bros. were all like "OMG Zach, look at all this money. Can you fuck ALL our beloved properties like this???"
M: Nostaaaaaalgia.
B: Okay, Unforgettable - this song was in the comic, it was in the book. It was playing in a scene in the comic but it was when Dan and Laurie tried to have sex for the first time. I don't understand the rationale behind using a song from the comic but putting it in a completely different scene. Why did you make that change? I don't understand why you would do that.
M: Watchmen in a nutshell. JESUS CHRIST I forgot that the explosions come in about 30 times louder than everything else.
B: Why is the Comedian wearing a smiley face pin on his bathrobe? Because of the symbolism??? Nostalgia. This is from the coooooooooomic. This is the first instance of inappropriate soundtracking, which is alright the first time but gets annoying when you do it over and over.
M: I have no idea. Oh yeah..the movie. The Comedian is fighting a mysterious figure that we'll figure out who it is later. Unless you've read the comic. It's Veidt. Slow zoom on the pin with the blood spatter because it's SYMBOLISM. Also the Comedian got thrown out a window. There's also been half an hour of slow mo and we're only 5 minutes into the movie.
B: *burps loudly* Bob Dylan, because there was a reference to a Bob Dylan song in the comic. Slow shots of our great heroes, The Minutemen. Zacc Snyder, fuck you. These were the original super hero dudes who spawned the existence of all the other masked vigilantes in this universe.
M: Gerard Butler??? Who the fuck is Gerard Butler?? Hang on, I have to look this up. Oh...he's in the Tales of the Black Freighter, which is only in this super-long ultra-extended edition.
This gif makes it look like Gerard Butler is playing Sally Jupiter. This is not the case (unfortunately?).
B: Which we're watching because we hate ourselves. Historical landmarks to set up the time period. Also Silhouette was a lesbian. Dollar Bill got killed when his cape got stuck in a revolving door. NO CAPES! Mothman went nuts and got put in an asylum. The minutemen turned out fine. Also Silhouette is dead. And Gay.
M: Bury your gays. She was only alive for two minutes of credits.
B: To be fair, she didn’t really have a role in the book either. Also, Kennedy is killed. By the Comedian. Which I suppose was implied in the comic...very vaguely. This is way too much exposition. We can read about history, we don't need a recap of every single event since 1940. We aren't that dumb, Zakk. There's more politics in this intro than exposition but Watchmen was supposed to be political. I have big problems with Matthew Goode....goode? How is that pronounced? Look at all that BEEF tho. Arby’s, I got ya new commercial right here.
I’ll take the one on the far left with cheese, please.
M: Slow the fuck down, jesus. I can't type as fast as you thirst. I'm gonna make you type this if you don't slow down.
B: Glad I'm not wearing a retainer. You think Jeffrey Dean Morgan would pay for it? Also Night Owl's costume looks so shitty.
M: Seriously, slow down. I have issues with how contoured Manhattan is.
B: And then everything went bad for the vigilantes and they got banned. This is SO LOUD. Tell Zaque Snyder I get spooked easily. I don’t like loud noises, I’m like a wild animal.
M: Oh yeah so the Comedian is dead. Two detectives wonder how he died. So mysterious. It was Veidt. Don't blame me if you didn't read the comic, it's been out for 30 fucking years.
B: My other issue with this movie, it doesn't ADD anything to it's source material. If I wanted just Watchmen I'd just read the comic. I could read most or all of it in the time it takes to watch this movie. So...Rorschach is ranting.
M: That's all he really does in this movie tho is rant.
B: All the towns in the world and I had to end up in this one. The ballsack town. Comedian kept a picture of Sally by his bed but that's backwards...she kept a picture of HIM on her bedside.
M: Rorschach found Comedian's secret closet where he went to be gay. Or a superhero. Or both. So he knows he's the Comedian.
B: Well, one or two of them were gay...a bunch of guys who wear their underwear outside their pants and this is somehow surprising? More slow mo.
M: This movie could be an hour and half shorter without all the pointless slo mo. Hollis is being played by Stephen McHattie and I love him so much.
B: Patrick Wilson (you can tell it’s Patrick Wilson because he looks exactly like Patrick Wilson) is playing Night Owl and he is a very good boy. The best boy. Although he doesn't have much competition for goodest boy, most of the boys are pretty bad. Hollis Mason is played up to be more Drunk Grandpa than caring mentor figure. Raw footage of Rorschach looking like FUCKING BIGFOOT. Your local cryptid.
*X-Files theme plays*
M: That was 20 seconds of super important extra footage that we missed from the original 3 hour long movie. Okay so movie, right. Drieberg goes home to find his home has been broken into. It's Rorschach. Eating beans. HUMAN BEANS. With HUMAN BEAN JUICE. We saw you lumbering around like Bigfoot on the news. Rorschach's mask is cool tho. One point for you, Zackk Snyder.
B: Rorschach, because he's a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist is like " I think someone's killing masks" even tho only one mask person has died so far. Patrick Wilson is a good actor but his performance in this movie is so blech. I dunno if that was the direction he was given or...
M: Part two of things wrong with Watchmen. Lots of good actors giving boring performances. I love many of these actors but they're so dull.
B: Except Malin Ackerman. It was an experimental time, Chad! All of our Bro Moments. Our BROMENTS.
M: WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU, CHAD?!
B: Maybe Drieberg quit on account of the Keene act because it started being illegal to do the thing, but Rorschach didn't because he’s crazy. And he's doing more edgelord monologuing.
M: Holy crap the animation.
B: And now with NO CONTEXT we get launched into the Tales of the Black Freighter. It's an anime, apparently. (makes angry angry noises ) this makes me SO mad because the Black Freighter, though a story within a story, had an explanation for its presence. It's being read by someone within the bigger story. In the movie it almost looks like it was animated by Ralph Bakshi. Like the people who did Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and Ralph Bakshi had a bad trip together.
This is what I see, every night in my dreams.
M: I guess this is being narrated by Gerard Butler?? This is so out of place. It takes you completely out of the immersion of the movie to show you this movie. That was super jarring though.
B: The comic had a lot more leeway when it came to blending the stories together. Oh and now we get a shot of someone reading the comic to bring us back. Rorschach in the comic was described as being fascinatingly ugly. I think Jackie Earl Haley is too good looking.
M: And Veidt. I hate everything they did with this entire fucking character. I hate the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he acts, the way he Veidts. I fucking hate him so much. I hate what they did with his story and the whole Manhattan cancer thing. It's DUMB.
B: Why is Dan here? It was Rorschach who warned Adrian. And they're talking about nuclear war, very important to the crux of everything. This lighting is ugly. It makes Veidt look like a greasy boy.
M: He IS a greasy boy.
B: Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth. Like cold beans.
M: Rorschach is expositioning everything we've already seen, dialogue straight out of the comic.
B: Rorschach breaks in to see Manhattan. Rorschach asks the real questions: Does Adrian Veidt is gay??
M: That is a HUGE ASS. Btw Manhattan is naked. He is super naked. You will never be allowed to forget that he is naked.
B: Malin Ackerman shows up...to “act”.... The mention temporal interference already, so you won't be surprised at the end of the movie. They really overemphasize Manhattan's eye things. He looks like a sad panda. I have issues with his CGI, he is really over contoured and he looks really...weird....Laurie...stop talking. PLease. Don't act, don't try to act.
Pictured: Sad Panda
M: Now he's taking Laurie on some fucking weird time trip that was supposed to happen three hours from now in the story. Manhattan is just sad in this movie. All his rage and his indifference are gone. He's just sad. He tells her the future and he's sad about it. And now, 99 Luftballoons so we don't forget it's the 80's.
B: This wasn't how this happened in the comic EITHER. Zacque Snyder and his love of throwing random songs into movies with no regard for how they might impact the mood.
M: So Lori is having dinner with Dreiberg just like Jon told her too. I'm giving up on spelling any names right as of right now.
B: They reminisce about their young days when they fought crime and dressed up like lunatics and all that stuff. Ah those days are behind us. We're in our 40's but in the movie we're like 25. Jon thinks there's gonna be nuclear war and also he can't fix my bad acting. They turned Laurie into such a sexy lamp in this movie. They strip everything away from her that made her interesting. I am laurie, I am GIRL. Who needs oxygen when you have another man's money.
You so. Fuckin. Precious. When you. Smile.
M: The Sound of Silence begins playing. We both laugh and denounce Zaeck Snyder and the horse he rode in on.
B: Should have been Take me to Church. I didn't realize how awful the soundtracking was in this movie the first time. They just throw in recognizable songs.
M: Comedian is getting buried. Rorschach is here and Manhattan and Dreiberg. And Simon and Garfunkle. It's not making this scene better. It's making it so much worse. Lori has been randomly teleported to her mothers with zero context. Her mother is Carla Gugino who deserves better than being in this fucking movie. They quote dialogue right from the comic. Did Zaquery Snyder write ANY dialogue for this movie? Her old age makeup is fucking awful and she is overacting this so hard.
B: And then we have the flashback to old days where the Comedian tries to rape her. The entire purpose of this flashback in one sentence. That's the plot point. From the comic. That we need to get into the movie somehow. I suppose they're going for show don't tell. At the moment i'm just focused on how it extends this torturous experience.
M: I have a lot of issues with this part. He beats her far more severely in the movie. They start the scene almost making it look like she did ask for it with all the slow undressing. It's so fucking unnecessary.
B: And then Hooded Justice comes in and this doesn't make sense in the movie when Comedian asks him if he gets off on this. But since they don't get into this in the movie...I think they're just trying to get us to go OH THE COMEDIAN IS A BAD GUY, HE'S SUCH A BAD GUY. We can get that. Why does everything in this movie take so long?
M: Everyone is having flashbacks to their time with Eddie. Manhattan is blowing up the entirety of the viet cong while the Comedian shoots people and Ride of the Valkyries is playing for no reason.
In awe at the size of this lad.
B: NEXT TIME YOU INVITE JON.
M: And then we get the Comedian is a horrible person but AGAIN because he's gonna shoot this woman he knocked up and Jon doesn't stop him. Jon is so fucking ripped that even fuzzed out in the background you can see every muscle.
B: They tell the story of how Eddie got his scar even though he doesn't...have it in the movie? Yeah I killed that woman I knocked up but you didn't stop me because you don't care and well...you're not wrong.
M: And now Veidt gets to have HIS flashback so we can be sure that the Comedian really was an asshole. The Comedian informs everyone that their plan is garb while Jon and Laurel Ann make goo goo eyes at each other which will become relevant an hour ago because they're obviously a couple NOW. He sets Ozymandias’ (Veidt's) map on fire to emphasize his point.
B: Ozymandias will remember that. Watchmen would make a great Telltale game. And Dan has his American Dream flashback where the Comedian is helping with crowd control and we don't care what's going on because the Comedian looks DAMN HOT. In slow mo.
M: Biscuit's thirst meter has increased tenfold.
B: What happened to the American Dream? You're looking at it. Just as beefy and greasy as I imagined it. He had a really nice arm vein going on in that scene. I have a gif of that for uh...research purposes. Very swole.
Pictured: The American Dream
M: I just realized that I don't really thirst after anyone in this movie. The comedian is hot because Jeffrey Dean Morgan but my thirst level is so low comparatively. The only main chick is Malin Ackerman and uh...no.
B: You're getting gayer the older you get.
M: I can't even deny that.
B: Moloch! He's a former supervillian of sorts and Rorschach is chasing him down because uh...I don't know. He just shows up and is like Hey fuck you buddy.
M: I still want an explanation for why Moloch alone has pointed ears. Nobody else in the entire movie has that kind of deformity.
B: And he's like The Comedian just showed up in my house! He was drunk and crying! We've all been there. We've all broken into our former nemesis's house drunk and crying. Maybe that's just me...
M: Except that's what really happened....
B: And the Comedian is like - I did some fucked up shit but this is worse! The shit this unnamed bad guy is doing worse! And he says that Moloch and Manhattan’s old girlfriend are on some mysterious list!
M: It's Veidt. Rorschach tries to nail Moloch for taking a medication made from apricot pits. Which are POISONOUS BTW, DO NOT EAT THEM. Rorschach spends fucking ten more minutes slow mo fucking monologuing about shit we already know and JUST SAW. There's so much extra shit in this movie that does not need to be here. He sounds like fucking Wolverine. Is that Hollis?
B: I can't even tell because this movie is SO DARK. We get a feeble attempt to connect newspaper man and the animated comic.
M: At least it's less jarring. Comic man drools excessively for no reason. They're even leaving bits of THIS story out and making it even weirder and more disparate than it needs to be. Fucking why.
The nightmares, they never stop.
M: Okay Jesus they went from that straight to Loorie and Jon trying to have sexxors and this is so wrong and out of place. And then Jon is six people.
B: god. jon. stop. what are u doing? I took a theatre class in high school and all those kids were better actors than Malin Ackerman. Which is bad because Laurie is an integral character in Watchmen. This happened way earlier and this is why she ran away to Dan in the comic, but it's fine. It's fine. Whatever. I don't care. She gets mad but not really because acting.
M: Jon underacts but that's his entire thing. This is so disjointed. Jon is teleporting reactors to Karnak while they argue. This will be relevant later.
B: Three bepis, no FOUR! Too much bepis for my needs. Or not enough...
M: Jesus Christ.
B: And NOW laurie shows up at dan's place. We needed to drag this out because we were REALLY stretching to get this movie to feature length, y’know?? We were really scraping at the bottom of the Watchmen barrel for content. There's just not enough material to get a good long juicy film out of it.
M: Can we just skip this whole part? I'll summarize. Laurie and Dan spend half an hour whining at each other because Laurie and Jon had a fight and they kinda wanna bang but that will take three hours to get to as well for no good goddamn reason. Meanwhile Jon is putting on a suit to do a tv interview.
B: There's a lot of scenes of Dan and Laurie but there's no chemistry at all between them and there's no buildup to their actual relationship. Even Dan is so nothing in this movie and I liked him. And there's an article from the comic because this is JUST LIKE THE COMIC.
M: Why are they...oh they're going to Hollis...but this isn't how it happened. They literally make this longer for no reason.
B: I know it would be really hard to cut anything from Watchmen, because pretty much everything is significant - there's no material that can really be removed that wouldn’t be missed in the final product. BUUUT they just added a whole ton of meaningless shit to this damn movie! At the expense of scenes we actually wanted! Dr Manhattan has his tv interview. This is not gonna go well. Everyone is like wtf are you talking about Jon. Dan and Lori beat up a bunch of thugs because uh...they're living for thrills?
M: Some reporter dude stands up and starts shit with Manhattan. He accuses him of giving everyone cancer. I'm sorry I caused all that cancer. You'd think Jon would KNOW whether or not he caused cancer...he was a fucking physicist.
B: Jon doesn't know whether or not he's radioactive. Spoiler alert: he ain't. He's just had his intrinsic fields removed - really simple procedure, like taking out the appendix.
M: *cronches pizza rolls*
B: A lot less screen time for Janey Slater in the movie, too. She's like "PRETTY PATTIES TURNED MY FACE PURPLE!!!" and then Doc Manhattan teleports everyone out of the studio because he's very emotional rn. That makes...one person in this movie with intense emotions.
M: You're right there...nobody in this movie really shows much in the way of emotion. Everyone's just sorta like "well, the world's going to shit - huh." I REALLY don't like the way they incorporated Tales of the Black Freighter into this movie.
B: Idec what's happening in this stupid anime. Man wants to get home before the freighter. Builds raft out of bloated corpses. Freaky eyes. It's supposed to parallel various elements of the 'real world' storylines but it's so jarring that drawing those connections becomes nigh on impossible. In the comic, panels from TotBF were often right alongside panels from the main story, but you couldn't really do something like that in a movie. They also still don't really do anything with the newspaper corner bits.
M: Did they actually show Dr. Manhattan leaving Earth?
B: No. Not yet.
M: So they just throw us into this scenario?
B: Yep. Dr. Manhattan got ANGERY and was like "y'know what? I'm going to Mars to deliver some exposition!! Way later than this happened in the comic, but who gives a flying fuck??" And we sorta get the explanation of the way Jon perceives time - but again, much less effective than it was in the comic. Everything in this movie is so DARK. 'Dark and gritty' doesn't usually refer to the visuals of a story.
M: Jon got stuck in an experimental machine where they were doing SCIENCE. He got disintegrated.
B: Just look at the SYMBOLISM...I mean, uh, the time. Jon's narration sounds like ASMR. He eventually manages to reassemble himself, but now he's blue....and nAkEd.
M: This giant naked blue dude shows up and Janey is just like "Jon?? Is that you??"
B: Jon is super-powerful, so the govt lords him as a weapon and uses him to help end the Vietnam war, and a lot of references to nuclear power.
M: I know his symbol is supposed to be a hydrogen atom, but it kinda looks like the power button on an Xbox.
Particle man, particle man...
B: This movie feels significantly gorier than the comic...which is not necessary. Janey is worried about how powerful Jon is - or she just wants him to put some fuckin' pants on.
M: Speaking of things that take you out of the movie - Jon's ENTIRE backstory in one flashback. Worked in the comic, not in the movie.
B: Jon macks on a 16 year old girl and is like - why is this a problem? My girlfriend is getting old, I gotta get a new one. Also I'm tired of earth. Going to mars.
M: We literally zoom out from Jon's ass crack.
B: There is no reason to put a physical or cgi camera that close to anyone's ass crack.
M: Jon has fucked off and now they're interrogating Laurie about where he went. She randomly assaults one of them because she can? Why are we having this slo mo smoking moment? And now another flashback to the Comedian... oh right, we have to have Laurie's version of why this guy was a douchebag.
B: Eddie's like, you think I'd fuck my daughter? And Sally is like - yah you might.
M: The gubmint is freaking out because their giant blue naked nuclear weapon has gone to Mars. I hate the Nixon makeup so much. He looks so fake. They wasted their budget on Manhattan's cock. I can't believe we still have 2 hours of this shit left.
B: (separate tangent about her cat) I'd rather focus on my cat than this movie. Why is this scene happening? Why is it significant? Is it supposed to increase the tension with the whole nuclear war thing??
M: I don't know. Why is it going on for so long? They figured out he's on mars because there's a blue spot? Uh...Laurie is beating up a guy and chaining him to a radiator? What....What did that have to do with ANYTHING? The gubmint is now attacking Veidt for trying to create free energy...?
B: This scene is just for Ozymandias to explain his backstory...I guess??
M: I honestly have no idea what's going on.
B: It's supposed to parallel the scene in the comic where he talks about Alexander the Great and stuff...
M: This happened at the END of the comic tho.
B: But here it's just...confusing. The choices they made just generally leave you feeling confused. Not like the comic did. It's ‘Vight’. I'm right.
Adrian Veidt is gay is the most discussed in the media in the few years ago.
M: Oh and now the scene where a hitman shows up disguised as a pizza guy so we can slow mo more totally excessive gore.
B: There was plenty of violence in the comic but...you can be dark and edgy without being this damn gory. Dan and Laurie have yet another meaningless conversation at a table and now Dan is suddenly on board with Rorshach's paranoia??
M: And Dan invites her to come over but in the comic she literally ran to him immediately after Jon left. Jesus now Rorshach is fucking monologuing again. They're fucking with the order of events again and it's pissing me off.
B: They don't seem to do it with any rhyme or reason. You have to make changes to adapt to a medium but there's zero apparent reason for the changes in chronology...
M: Rorschach breaks into Moloch's house so he can get caught again. Why the fuck would Moloch know about any of this??
B: But Moloch is dead. It was a SET UP.
M: I'm losing all plot cohesiveness because of all this nonsense. I can't remember what actually happened. Ten minutes of Rorshach slow mo fighting his way out but he's gonna get caught because Veidt organized all this but they don't tell you that in the movie because of reasons.
B: We're not explaining a lot of the plot because it's happening so slowly. They caught Rorschach. They takin' im to prison.
M: Rorschach don't care. He got shit to do. And now maybe back to the animation...? Yes.
B: They do like 1/16th of this shit with the newstand corner. They should have just not at all done it. They just seem like framing to put the Black Freighter in there.
M: Except they don't do it every time, and that makes it worse. And they made weird ass changes to this story too. It's supposed to parallel what's happening in the main story but it's making NO SENSE.
B: This also adds nothing to the story and it breaks the immersion.
M: It mostly seems like an excuse to be gross. And now for Rorschach's mental health evaluation.
B: He's psycho bonkers crazy. Part of the concept of Watchmen is that everyone has issues. The complex psychology.
Look inside your local garbage and you may find a friend and boy.
M: Aw who cares about that. Let's shoot off some more fingers! We get his entire backstory in very very short flashbacks. He's still nuts.
B: This was over the course of quite a while in the comic.
M: Yeah but suddenly we're pressed for time in the seven hour long movie so we gotta condense his entire story into a ten minute scene. Which makes this feel rushed, which is fucking weird considering how drawn out every fucking thing in this movie is.
B: The comic felt like a bunch of stories being told at once but all tying in together at a certain point. Convergent stories The movie feels like a bunch of different stories that happen and then they're over. They're not tying anything together. (Biscuits starts singing Linkin Park because this part is so fucking dark)
M: So he's telling this story about how he killed a guy for kidnapping a girl and Biscuits is looking up the name of that song because she can't remember what it's called and still singing.
B: It's called Shadow of the Day...it’s like the one Linkin Park song I know
M: Okay. And Rorschach is gonna....kill this guy with a hatchet???
B: That is NOT how that happened. He tied him up and set that house on fire. But now he's gonna hit that guy in the head 20 times. And now he's Rorschach. There is no Laura, only Zuul.
M: ...Dana!!
B: Oh...Dana....is that from...
M: Ghostbusters!
B: I didn't wanna say it and have you be like - No it's from the Exorcist!
M: That would have been pretty funny in the exorcist. There is no Pazuzu, only Zuul.
B: Rorschach delivers the iconic line - I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me. The angrier he gets the more gravelly his voice gets. Meanwhile back at the ranch...Lori looks at Dan's shit.
M: You gotta be more specific. In this movie it might be actual shit. She's looking at this ship.
B: He's got some cool etchings, and a stamp collection. She sets things on fire. In the comic she thought it was the cigarette lighter. That's not how you put out a fire.
Laurie is an expert firefighter.
M: She doesn't have any brains.
B: She's an animatronic being controlled offscreen. Everything is so bland in this movie. We really aren't given any reasons to connect with Dan and Laurie.
M: This scene isn't helping either. It's boring and we don't care what's happening because we don't fucking care about Dan and Looooooorie. I can't think of a couple with less chemistry than these two.
B: Do you know what this means??
M: Yes.
B: We're getting close to the sex scene. It's like a case study in how not to do a sex scene in a movie. It's like the most awkward horrible thing that can be done. These scenes were in the comic, but not like this.
M: They're not gonna bang right now anyway because Dan can't get it up because uh...Adrian isn't doing gymnastics in the background and Unforgettable isn't playing.
B: Patrick Wilson's titty.
M: Did we really need to...
B: It's okay. Patrick Wilson is reasonably attractive. I would give those titties a six. Maybe a seven. Compared to having to see Malin Ackerman's tits, I would give them an 11. They're better than Manhattan's tits, which are cgen and disgustingly hyperdetailed.
M: BACK TO RORSCHACH. Who is being threatened by a little person named Big Figure because that's fucking funny. I guess. But it's also canon. And now Dan's dreaming but there's no actual meaning here because they do it wrong.
B: It really would have been better to put that in there after Dan and Laurie stop trying to bang instead of going to Rorschach?
M: And then IMMEDIATELY back to the animated parts with NO warning.
B: That was the worst editing I've ever seen. Sharks are eating the corpse boat.
M: I'm so confused. How did that shark get back up into the boat thing....
B: Who the fuck cares anymore.
M: Back to reality?? Snoop Dogg threatens the comic reading man because uh...
B: Snap back to reality...OH there goes gravity...something about spaghetti. And now back to Dan who is staring naked at his suit. There's too many behinds in this movie.
M: Are you gonna rate it?
B: I like plenty of naked behinds in other contexts.
M: I'm not even gonna ask.
B: Dreiberg is pretty ripped for being supposedly flabby and old. Laurrrrrie decides they should go fight crime.
Unfortunately, Malin Akerman.
M: Night Owl's costume is so bad. Like Ozymandias’ costume and...most of the costumes.
B: Laurie's costume is mostly see through because she can't fight crime if she's not sexy. We don't get any explanation of Dan's bird love in the movie. He's a good bird boy. That's a tongue twister.
M: They're saving people from a fire. I kinda want to go take a nap.
B: Why is he shooting into the burning building???
M: I don't know! Oh it's a water tower.
B: I thought he was just shooting up a burning building.
M: I'm sorry but she would be DEAD from that backdraft. There is no way. So now they gotta drop people off so they can bang in the owlship. Which I don't wanna see. SKIP.
B: This isn't how this happened in the comic at all.
M: Back to Rorschach again. They don't do the whole language pun thing which was so fucking cool in the comic. Big Figure. Small world. Why is all Rorschach's shit cut out??? Don't tell me they didn't have time. They see one dead guy and they know Rorschach is alive?
B: Professional dead guy appraiser.
M: Oh yeah there's a whole prison riot going on but we don't know why in the movie because they don't explain it.
B: Now Dan and Lari are gonna beat up some guys but it's so fucking dark it's like I'm watching Fan4stic. More slow mo.
M: They had to cut Rorschach's story to make time for all the slow mo.
B: I hate Night Owl's outfit. Leri's doesn't look anything like the comic either. I punched that guy! I'm a strong independent woman!
M: Rorschach goes to kill Big Figure in the bathroom which also fucks up what happened in the comic. Luri calls Rorschach an idiot and they start bitch fighting but Dan is like come on we gotta go. We have an hour left. We have to start building each other up.
B: (sings Livin' on a prayer )
M: NOT HOW THIS HAPPENED EITHER. Jon shows up after they get back and kidnaps Liri to mars where there's no air because he's a dick like that.
B: Diet bepis.
M: Laurie somehow knows she's on Mars because there's a giant glass sculpture there. Like on Mars. You know. Back to Snoop and his gang who randomly decide to take out Night Owl but pick the wrong one and beat up Hollis. Poor Hollis.
Yep, definitely Mars.
B: Obviously the editors don't care about the timeline either. Liri's mother is on the phone with Hollis talking about what happened the night before but I thought this was the same night? Who genuinely cares?
M: This movie is rated almost 5 stars on Amazon. You go Hollis, punch at least one of em!
B: The gang beats up Hollis and kills him because it's JUST LIKE THE COMIC. Hollis has flashbacks while he's getting killed. And killed by his own award. But we don't get the scene where he GOT the award. It's fine. I'm not mad.
M: Back to fucking Rorschach and Dan and Laurie and I'm tired of typing that sentence. Rorschach suddenly is sure it's the pyramid people doing all the bad but he has no fucking evidence? Dan lays the smack down and the bromance can continue.
Just like back in college...
B: We're just two dudes in a rad bromance....They're going to an underworld bar because they're looking for seedy dudes.
M: How would these dudes even know about the pyramid thing?
B: That's just how Rorschach do. Follow the money. Rorschach writes a lot of youtube conspiracy videos.
M: Dan finds out some dude helped kill Hollis.
B: Also back on Mars...ugh..his dick is moving back and forth and I know that’s realistic but ugh...It’s different when it’s just a still panel in a comic and not...this...you're made of molecular nothingness, can't you just suck it up into your body or something?
M: Back on Mars Jon goes on his seven hour long predestination trip while his dick wiggles.
B: Jon I have feelings, pls believe me.
M: You can't fucking...you can't...you can't fucking take all this dialogue and re-arrange it and make it work. It doesn't work, now it just seems empty and nobody cares. Lauree was having a total breakdown because Jon wanted HER to make him save the entire earth and now just stand there looking bored.
B: Dan and Ror have broken into Veidt's office searching for answers. Dan is an expert hacker. Creator's name was Jeff Jeff, born on the eighth of Jeff, 19-Jeffity-Jeff. So I put in 'Jeff'.
M: Do they even mention in the movie that Adrian Veidt is supposed to be like, the 'smartest man in the world'? Actually, we don't really learn anything about Veidt in this movie...What do we really know about him? He's rich? He makes plans? Possibly homosexual?
B: *Hacker voice* I'm in. Boys Folder, iconic. Veidt doesn't really keep his most secret government and corporate secrets very...well-hidden. Next to his boys, yanno.
M: Adrian had a team of like three people in the comic. His suit...
B: It has nip- It has NIPPLES!!!
M: *chokes to death laughing* I've never heard anyone so angry about nipples in my whole life.
A toast, to my suit’s nipples.
B: Did Batman and Robin teach the human race nothing???!!? Nipples on superhero costumes = a bad idea. Veidt has killed all his scientists. AND NOW - My Bubastis rant. Whhyyyyy is Bubastis in this fucking movie??????? She just shows up in this scence with NO EXPLANATION. Just, "oh hey...Ozymandias has a giant mutant lynx." and why would she even EXIST in this continuity - he doesn't need the eugenics program in this version of the story. Was he just like "I want a mutant cat, please make me one."
M: How do we still have 50 minutes of movie left??? Oh, I guess...Tales of the Black Freighter. This is still going on. Crazy guy has reached land and kills some people, believing his hometown has been taken over....who really cares. Was there really anyone clamoring for them to put this into the movie?
B: *basically says nothing for this entire bit*
M: *basically says nothing for this entire bit*
B: NO TRANSITIONS, YEAH!
M: Now we're back to have the least impassioned discussion about saving the world ever. "Jon, no, everyone will die...." That's not how this happened - that's not how ANY of this happened. Y'know what, Jon, ya big naked blue freak...
B: Laurie sounds like a teenager who's mad that her parents won't buy her a car.
M: "Do that thing you do..." This is making me irrationally angry, and I've seen this TWICE.
B: This part makes me SO mad. Irrationally mad. They fuck this up so much. We do not get any context to explain how much Laurie hated the Comedian, and why him being her father is such a big deal.
M: Also, in the comic, it was a big deal that Laurie had this realization of her own volition. It came naturally as she tried to fight back her past memories (which were not at all like this), instead of just being magically brought out by Jon.
B: They completely squander Laurie's biggest moment of emotional development, in turn squandering Jon's turning point in deciding to save the world
M: I liked the whole snowglobe bit in the comic...I thought that was like really powerful, but in this she just...throws a temper tantrum.
B: Ugly cry face. At least...I think she's crying. Might just have smelled some expired doppelganger. Jon's speech about life is also...rushed. And they leave out my favorite line. “Come, dry your eyes, for you are life - rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg.”
Acting, I think...
M: Laurie looks like she doesn't understand a single thing Jon's saying to her right now. "Jon...you're talking science again, and I don't understand it."
B: I've already complained about the inappropriate scoring. It hasn't gotten any better.
M: So Dan and Ror are heading to Antartica at record fucking speed. Rorschach tries to tell Dan how to drive the fucking ship Dan designed and built. All Along the Watchtower is playing at record loudness for no reason. Somehow they made it to Antartica in five minutes.
B: They're heeeeeere.
M: If Veidt knew they were coming why wouldn't he just open the door instead of letting them fry it with lasers? Veidt is sitting there pretending that he doesn't notice them creeping in to kill him. Suddenly we are shown that Veidt is somehow some superhuman fighter and gymnast which wasn't included in the movie at all.
B: Come on and SLAM. Hello there, sailors.
M: And now for some exposition while a vigorous swordfight is going on. Not really. Veidt is still going on and on about how smart he is and how he organized all this shit.
B: As with any mystery, it ends with the villian explaining how he did everything.
M: In the comic he literally says he's not a comic villian and wouldn't do that, but you know.
B: I could have sworn there was an alien in here....like there was something vaguely about an alien?? This is alien invader erasure and I will not tolerate it. That would break the suspension of disbelief, I guess. If Veidt wanted to make an alien and use that to unite the world.
M: Yeah that would be bonkers, especially in a world where giant naked blue men with god powers exist.
B: He is smart enough not to monologue BEFORE he pulled off his evil plan.
M: And now we see earth exploding or whatever because of Veidt and uh...suddenly we're back at the fucking animated comic.
B: The whole idea of him uniting the world against Manhattan just doesn't click for me. The alien was supposed to be neutral, to be anomalous. It also doesn't make sense that he would drive Jon to leave earth.
M: Way to pull us the fuck out of the super important ending. Slow zoom back out to the kid reading the comic who complains that it makes no sense. I feel you kid.
B: They're trying to pull everything together here with the clock and the therapist guy and everything but it was all crushed by the alien invader but now it's just Dr Manhattan's..energy force?? But they'll be able to recognize that it was Manhattans? Didn't they know that Veidt was trying to use his energy too??
M: Yes.
B: Oh it's bad. Oh no.
Bubastis’ one moment in the movie...
M: Jon and Lurie return to earth post uh..time bomb or whatever. Jon realizes the energy signature is here. He is not muddled or confused or anything though like he is in the book, so he just immediately goes to Antartica to kick Veidt's ass but then immediately goes through the intrinsic field subtractor like a fucking moron. Why would this even effect Jon? Why would the smartest man alive not figure out that it wouldn't work?
B: Laurie says things....she shoots Veidt but he catches the bullet because he's uh..just that radical. Stuff is happening.
M: For not being a comic book villian Veidt is super fucking acting like a goddamn comic book villian. Jon shows up all super huge now and he's kinda mad at Veidt. But not that mad. Veidt uses his magical remote control to show melty face Nixon demanding peace.
B: And this works because...why not?
M: Because the fucking movie has to end SOMETIME. In the comic there were hundreds of screens showing everything but you know...America. Veidt is like - this is our victory Jon and Jon SHOULD be like - you used me to blow people up dude. Fuck you.
B: Uh uh, can't do that, you'll screw up the peace! Rorschach is like fuck no, I ain't keeping this a secret.
M: I'd side with Rorschach with this tbh, Veidt is a fucking madman. He's like the fucking Governor from the Walking Dead. Ror goes out to try and tell the world but Jon kills him.
B: But of course he wouldn't do that, he told the world 35 minutes ago!
M: He literally did. Rorschach explodes and Dan gets all sad. That was my favorite Rorschach! Now Patrick Wilson's ugly cry face.
I loved that Rorschach like a Rorschach...
B: Jon decides to leave and Laurie is like but why and he's like - well I can't go back to earth NOW.
M: I don't understand why Dan is trying to kick Veidt's ass now. He already agreed to let the mass murder slide. Veidt seems unconcerned.
B: We don't get the whole nothing ever ends quote either, which was a big deal in the comic.
M: They fucked the ending hard though. Like with a chainsaw.
B: They fucked the whole movie hard. With like 17 giant dicks. This shit is way fucked.
M: So I guess Dan and Lbrbbrie go back home? And visit her mom cos you know.
B: And all the reconciliation Lrry had to do in the comic is reduced to one pathetic encounter with her mother. And it means NOTHING because we only get one little scene where Loree is SAD. The whole movie is this way. It's just a bunch of stuff that HAPPENS.
M: I don't give a shit about any of these characters. There's a lot of Lyrie and Dan kissy facing and talking about stuff that doesn't matter now.
B: Nothing ever ends but that's not..at all the way it was supposed to be done...at all.
M: WHY ISN'T THIS OVER, GOD. Straight outta the fucking comic we get the last bit where the greasy kid pulls Rorschach's fucking notebook out of the crank file to publish it so 30 years later they could write the mess that is Doomsday Clock.
B: Not EVEN gonna get into that. That's a whole other screaming fit. But that’s a comic, not a movie.
M: *AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING TO DESOLATION ROW*
B: *AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING TO DESOLATION ROW*
M: I don't have any closing thoughts. I'm tired of typing. I hate this movie. I hate what they do to every fucking Alan Moore venture. He deserves better. Write less deep shit Alan and they might actually do you right one day.
B: I find the existence of this movie to be a highly overrated phenomenon. I do, however, fucking love the My Chemical Romance cover of Desolation Row.
Munch and Biscuits out, yo.
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💘 + Kit and Nota
HEADCANONS MEME: DATING EDITION!! | @littlcstarling
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where they first met and howWelp, here it is: I don’t know. And I’d actually like to discuss this with you rather than write my ideas here
how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involvedSad news: they haven’t gotten past their ‘pining’ phase but I believe they’re both too foreign to relationships and romance for there to exist a flirting phase, I think they’d just move to ‘permanently flustered sweethearts’
who fell for who first ( if applicable )Meh, still can’t offer anything to this question
where their first date was and what it was likeChances are there will be a first kiss before there is a first date, so I think they would have time to figure a place out to make it count? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just hanging out together with no real place to be in mind
who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )I wouldn’t be surprised if Kit would be the one to make the first move, because Nota kind of likes waiting for Kit and leaving it up to him just to make sure he doesn’t pressure him into anything, but if it would be Nota to ask first it depends entirely on how terrified he is, but it would be impulsively no matter what: planned or not, he’d blurt it out suddenly
who proposes firstThey are children
if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right awayI think they would keep it secret. Or, well, no, that’s now the right way to put it. They wouldn’t keep it secret. But they wouldn’t go around mentioning it either. Kit has his grandpa and Jinx that he could tell, right? Nota wouldn’t have anyone to tell, especially not at school considering they’re both boys
where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )N/A
if they adopt any pets togetherI was going to make a joke at Jinx’ expense, decided against it, thought back on what you told me about Jinx @ Kit, wanted to change mind again, decided against it again, either way... can they get a kitten
who’s more dominantKit. Local Attitudinal Bottom. Also, Nota just isn’t :’)
where their first kiss was and what it was likeIT WILL BE INNOCENT AND VIRGIN LIKE AND IN KIT’S APARTMENT HOPEFULLY WITH DIM LIGHTS AND-
if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )I don’t think so, what they match might just be clothes they stole from the other lmao
how into pda they areI don’t think they would be? Nota is shy and likes to keep things private, and I can see the same for Kit, but you tell me
who holds the umbrella when it rainsNota because I am here for that Soft Top aesthetic holding the umbrella for his Flustered Tsundere Boyfriend, please and thank you
where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )No clue omg
who’s more protectiveKit, Nota is to a certain extent, but I simply see Kit as acting more on it? I think Nota trusts that Kit will protect himself a bit too much (he looks up to the strength he perceives Kit has a lot) and I think Kit sees the vulnerability that is a lot of Nota
how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )Three centuries, please take a number and wait in the waiting room
if they argue about anythingSo far they have almost argued only over Nota’s self-loathing
who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )
who steals whose clothes and how oftenNota doesn’t have the courage (he’ll need explicit permission once they’re a thing) and Kit already snatched a hoodie, so the medal goes to Kit and I am so happy
how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )CUTELY I mean Nota probably drapes himself over Kit like a blanket way too often
what their favourite nonsexual activity isSitting in comfortable (flustered) silence? ==
how long they stay mad at each otherKit is the Fucking Best so not long, like, a few minutes
what their usual coffee / tea orders areIf I remember correctly, Kit’s has caramel in it, right? And is coffee based? Nota likes tea, with lotsa honey
if they ever have any children togetherThey ARE children
if they have any special pet names for each otherI don’t think so, they’re names are too short-
if they ever split up and / or get back togetherNopester pt.4 (although considering the levels of angst-)
what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )It is MESSY in the best ways: music sheets, unmade bed, plants, anything of Kit’s and his witchcraft, any hoodie draped over a chair, it is LIVED IN
what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was likeWarm and maybe the first they spent with someone like that, right?
what their names are in each other’s phonesNota has ‘Kit-hyung’, Kit I don’t know
if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )Taking... care of Nota... when he’s drunk, that is awful
who falls asleep first and who wakes up firstI think it varies ==
who’s the big spoon / little spoonThey got that SIZE difference but I wouldn’t even blink if Kit turns out to be big spoon
who hogs the bathroomNota is ready in 5 minutes, but Kit’s looks seem much more intricate so I dunno 👀
who kills the spiders / takes them outsideBoth? I believe? Why do all my muses like spiders so much
#littlcstarling#[I wish my strings belonged to you];Kit & Nota#HERE THEY ARE#i was especially excited for these two because we've developed them the least out of all four so#Free Real Estate#GOODNESS THIS KID IN THIS LOFI IS SO HECKING CUTE MY HEART#a:
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So. This is a master post about my grandma. Some of this has already been talked about here but I posted this on my private fb and wanted to keep it here too.
.
Okay.. so. This is gonna be a long and detailed one.
Ive never had a space where I could vent about my grandma to more than just people close to me without being blamed or her finding out. The only family I have on here is my mom and im hiding this post from her for various reasons. I understand if many of you can't read all the way through this because its gonna be a lot. I just want the people around me to have a better grasp on exactly why im so depressed.
Before I start im gonna add a trigger list because there is a LOT and im probably going to be very emotional typing this. A lot of it ive never spoken about publicly.
So for a list of TW:
Emotional, physical, sexual, and animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophelia, racism, su*cide, hospitals, ableism, be******ty mention, fatshaming, weight mention, f slur.
.
.
.
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Okay. Im going to start at when I moved in with her. She tricked my mother into signing over custody of me when I was 10. When I was 9 years old I was forced into a mental hospital after being heavily overdosed on medications meant for adults to the point I was "sitting upside down in my chairs unresponsive and talking about tranquilizers" which i have no memory of. The hospital was probably the worst experience in my entire life and I was almost murdered by one of the older kids. After getting out of there I moved in with my grandma.
Throughout my life shes said and done so many horrible things to me. She would always yell and scream about the smallest mistakes. She used to pick me up by my hair. She was just fucking horrible to me.
Around the age of 10-11 when I started going through puberty she would always make fun of the way my genitals looked. She would ask me to stretch my labia out and move it around. Specifically she would ask me to "show me your bat wings". It was fucking disgusting but as a child I thought it was just haha funny joke.
For a while I thought I just imagined that until my mom brought it up to me and how she CAUGHT HER saying that to me multiple times. So I had confirmation that I wasn't just imagining it. I once confronted her about it and she immediately started crying (ive only seen her cry 3 times in my entire life) and told me if I ever said that again she would tell everyone in my family that I was a "prostitute" and would make everyone in my family hate me, and that it was my mother who did that to me.
My mom lived with me and my grandma for a few years but eventually moved out on her own because she couldn't handle my grandmas abuse.
My grandma dated my moms r*pist, which was my moms uncle, and told my mom she never got r*ped, and said my mom only fucked him for "attention and cigarettes". My mom was 12 at the time.
My grandma told me at 15 that the "only reason you think you're trans is because you got diddled as a kid"
My grandma called me a whore when I started becoming sexually active despite her having her first child at 16.
She once told me I was "just like my father" who is a sex offender and abused me as a child. I was also forced to give my at-the-time step brothers head when I was 3-5 and was taught that it was okay.
My grandma has called me every possible name in the book. Anytime she does something wrong its automatically my fault. She told me she would believe that im trans when I showed her my dick (at 16).
Shes incredibly rude and racist, says she hates how she can't understand Asian people. She's said the n word. She's made so many "jokes" about how "aggressive" Black people are. When my cousin found out he had Black in him she said, and I quote, "I always knew he had a n***r ass" which fucking disgusted me. Shes scoffed at my mother for limping. She scoffs at anyone disabled. Always says "you wouldn't catch me looking like that in public." She would tell my mom she was faking her pain. And coincidentally of all 4 of her kids, one was born with physical deformities. she says thats not the reason why, but she gave her up for adoption. She yells at anyone standing in her way who isn't aware. She is incredibly rude when she speaks to people to the point its embarrassing.
When I hung myself earlier this year and a friend came to pick me up she was yelling at me like "Oh so you went and tattled on me didnt you? Did you say oh boo hoo shes so abusiveeee!!" As I had literally just laid passed out in the snow from hanging myself.
When she found out I hung myself she bitched about how I had her snow boots and how she would have had to climb up the hill to find my fucking body as if it were a chore. She asked me if I wanted to be cremated out of nowhere and when I said no she replied "good I didn't want to have to pick your piercings out of your dead body" when I told her she made me want to kill myself she laughed at me and said "well then you'll never survive" my first suicide attempt was at 12 years old. A few weeks ago I started carving at my throat in front of her because im so desperate for her to LISTEN to me for 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I have legitimately cried on my knees and begged her to treat me like a person time and time again. She laughs at me and turns it around to my issues. She guilt trips me and makes me think everything is my fault. She calls me disgusting for having 1 or 2 shirts on the floor. She told me to MY FACE she will never see me as trans. Misgenders me, misgenders my friends. I jokingly told her one of my cis friends was trans, and when she left she asked me "does he really have a penis?" ABOUT A WHOLE ASS CIS WOMAN. She told me she ran over and killed a dog with a broken leg to "put it out of its misery" she would always use glue traps and I told her not to tell me about it so she waits until were in public and says "yknow whenever I catch a live mouse on one of the traps I throw it into a plastic bag and then go do the litter box to suffocate it". Shes threatened to make me pay the hospital bill when I called 911 because she was unconscious. She says horrible things to me EVERY FUCKIJG DAY. She's always making everying my fault all the time and sits and smiles while I'm sobbing and pouring my heart out because im tired of the abuse. Im so fucking tired. It goes on and on and on every day of my life. I literally slit my throat in front of her and she only stopped being mean for about a week. Im so depressed and mentally ill and this is beating on me every moment of my fucking life.
In not done but im shaking and need to stop typing for now
Edit: some other notable things, when my grandpa disowned me and stopped speaking to me for over a year she told me it was probably because of how disgusting I was. And "nobody wants to be around that".
She will ask me specific random questions about specific friends and if I dont know the answer or I forgot, she goes on a tangent about how terrible of a friend I am.
When I was cutting her hair she kept telling me I was doing it wrong, so I did it her way and she hated it and told me she's glad I didn't pursue hair because im terrible at it.
When my cat was dying she originally refused to take him to the vet because he was "just gonna die anyways so I might as well let him", then gave up her cat to the vet because she was peeing but didn't wanna take responsibility for that so she lied to them and said she showed up at her door and didn't tell them her age or even her name and that was so fucking cruel.
When she starts laughing at me sometimes she'll talk to me in a whiny "baby voice" and be like awwww, waaa im so abusedddd *mocks me crying*.
And she always talks in a tone that sounds pissed off and seems confused when I feel like I'm being scolded.
She gets in my face and puts her finger in my face and backs me into corners sometimes and then when I smack her hand out of my face she says she'll put me in jail for abuse.
Oh yea and simetimes when she gets mad at me she'll be like "ok GIRL" in the middle of me talking. Like its annoying and uncalled for.
I cant believe I forgot this holy shit. Years ago (was a minor here as well) I was attacked by my neighbors dog and it knocked me down and when I got home my grandma was accusing me of be******ty and said she was "watching it fuck me" and I was so fucking disgusted and hurt.. I try to block that from my memory because it was my third dog attack and I was traumatized.
She also regularly calls her brother a F@ggot. He is the only lgbt family member (he's gay) that i have.
She regularly fatshames people while only a few feet from them. And will whisper to me about how disgusting they look.
She asks for all of my friends deadnames and gets mad when I dont answer.
"I can't be abusive because I give you a home. I could have let social services take you."
"I cant be racist because my ex husband is Black"
"You must be living in a fantasy world where you make up shit that ive done."
"Id be depressed if I stayed in bed all day too."
"I need to learn to have lower expectations for you."
"I'm starting to resent you. So ill be taking 200$ a month for rent." (She has stopped this thankfully)(edit #2, she started taking it again im gonna be here forever lmao)
When I was underweight she would say things like "you look like an aids patient." And "Are you trying to look like your mother?"
"You're a hoarder"
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Vacation w/ The Avengers!
Hi, internet!
Since this is my *first post* to this blog, thought I'd introduce myself! I'm midwesterwebslinger, but you can call me anytime 😉☎️ Just kidding, just call me May. It's just easier that way. I'm a dancer, up-and-coming actress, and of course, a lover of all things marvel. I probably sound like an idiot right now. Since I've never written anything before, I decided to start off with a simple headcanon. If you like it, hate it, love it, or even don't care, please give me some feedback! I'd love to actually know what I'm doing on tumblr lols :') Without further ado, here's this adorable fanfic filled with avengers goodness!! PS- this is kinda long and I didn't edit it AT ALL😬
avengers x reader
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You had been a member of the avengers for what, 11 months now?
Even though it hadn't even been a year yet, the team was family to you
And what do families do?
GO ON VACATION
Steve and Tony decided that, after a very long and hard mission, you guys deserved a little break.
You and Peter almost flipped the table over at dinner when Tony said that the lot of you would be going Florida for a month
[fast forward to after the entire packing and traveling process had ended]
Steve would wake up first every day around 6:30 am to eat some cereal on the porch and listen to the waves
Nat would get up second and make an omlet for herself
You would get up third, joining Steve on the porch in your PJs and glasses with a glass of milk and peanut butter toast
You and Steve would have the best conversations on the porch every morning
It was great bonding time
You guys would talk about lots of random stuff like America, the dinosaurs, music, freedom, school, science, and life in general
After you guys finished up talking, both of you would go get in your swimsuits, put on a cover up, and walk up and down the beach
Sometimes Nat would join and it was great
You noticed how peaceful the beach was when the hoards of hotel guests weren't around
Your usual morning activities with Steve would end around 9:30, when you went to go see who else was awake
You knew Wanda was awake, because you would see her doing yoga every morning when you walked back into the house
That witch it surprisingly flexible
The only other avenger awake at 9:30 would usually be Bucky, sadly not your partner in crime Mr. Parker
So, you and Steve and Bucky headed down to the pool
Steve and Bucky would sit on some pool chairs with their hats and sunglasses while you switched between sitting between the two grandpas and floating around in the pool
Around 10:30, you would hear the screams of Clint at Peter to wake up and get off of the couch
Classic Peter
About 5 minutes after you hear Clint scream, Peter comes stumbling out of the house with a cup of yogurt in his swim trunks
"Look who's awake!" Says Steve, glancing up from the newspaper
"What a shame" replies Bucky
"You guys are funny! Hey Y/N, wanna jump in with me?"
*cue the two of you cannon balling into the pool, getting Steve's newspaper wet*
Steve gives you crazy teens an over exaggerated look of shock
"I wish I didn't have to do this, but I'm going to have to eliminate the other of you"
You saw your life flash before your eyes as Steve ran at full Cap speed towards the pool and launched himself into the artificial paradise that was the pool
Waves. Huge waves. It was a tsunami of Captain America sized proportions.
Bucky would join in the fight on Steve's side, and obviously team super solider best team teenager
The four of you would have some intense chicken fights
You on Bucky's shoulders, Peter on Steve's
A true battle of the teens
"Come on, Y/N! You can beat Parker!"
"Come on Peter! You can win! But don't be too rough on her! She's smaller than you!"
:') Steve looking out for the little guy makes me want to cry
You surprisingly beat "Team Super New Yorkers"
Bucky was just as surprised as you were
"Give it here, Y/N! Ya sure deserve it, doll!"
The three of you would be in the middle of yet another splash war when a window opens and Tony yells,
"Can you be quiet? I'm on a conference call!"
Peter immediately feels guilty and apologizes as fast as he can
"I'm sorry Mr. Stark we'll try to play softer next time"
Steve could care less about Tony's call. For Pete's sake he hadn't had this much fun since 1943!
"Lighten up a little Stark, it is vacation after all!"
Around noon, Clint would emerge from the house to join Nat on a bike ride to a fish place down the beach
"I'll be back whenever. Never, preferably."
Steve would make sandwiches for you, Peter, Wanda, and ocassionaly Bucky
Possibly the best sandwiches you ever had
You guys always spent the second half of the day on the beach with the rest of the avengers
Tony would be sitting in an overly-priced beach hut, Clint sitting next to the hut in a tiny plastic chair, Natasha sitting next to Clint on a beach towel, Wanda floating around in one of those donut floaties, Steve and Bucky standing in the water, and you and Peter causing chaos
If you can't tell, you and Peter are super close
After you, you guys are the youngest by far AND the same age
On the first day at the house, you and Peter did a little investigating and found 2 PADDLE BOARDS
You and Peter claimed one of them for yourselves, and let the rest of the team share the other one
Peter would usually paddle while you sat up front, on with your toes in the water
Pretty relaxing if I do say so myself
TBH if Peter didn't have super strength he probably wouldn't be able to paddle lols
Sometimes you would paddle and Peter would rock the board back and forth so you would lose your balance and fall into the ocean
The little DORK wouldn't fall off bc of his stuPID SPIDEY SENSES
On one particular afternoon, you and Peter had gone farther out than ever before
Not too far cause you guys are lowkey scared of the ocean
Peter turned the boat towards the shore and you guys waved to Steve and Bucky, and they waved back
Bucky was a jokester
"Don't come back, Parker!"
Silly Bucky
The first time you saw Sam all day was dinner, apparently he had been out running the entire time
Speaking of dinner, Clint is surprisingly good at barbecue food
You guys had ribs, pulled pork, Wanda's legendary brownies, Nat's lemonade, Tony's classic summer salad, and a fruit salad Steve picked out from the store
Lots of stories and laughing really tired you out
Tony, being the dad he is, sent you and Peter to bed before the rest of the group
"Alright minors, I think it's time for you guys to go to bed. Let the adults talk."
Peter went to his couch and you went to your room, saying goodnight to Peter as you shut the door
Another day, another breakfast with Steve, another walk on the beach, another yell from Clint, until Tony called all of you in for lunch
Tony announced that there was a situation in Cuba and the team needed to go in and eliminate Hydra immediately
Of course, the team minus you and Peter
These Hydra agents were different from the rest.. way more hardcore
Of course, Tony couldn't just leave you guys all alone at the house! The two of you would definitely blow it up
So, he kindly offered to stay home and babysit
The next morning, around 4 am, the team left and the three of you gave hugs and waved them goodbye
You all went to bed again, and were woken up by the sound of Tony's music
Since Tony hadn't had a lot of time with just you youngins this trip, he called today, "Super Fun Tony Bonding Day"
Apparently, he had planned a surprise for you guys today and told you two to hurry to your rooms (or couch) and get your swimsuits and coverups on and meet back in the kitchen in 10 minutes
10 minutes later you were in the kitchen with Peter when Tony came walking in with a giant bag filled with who knows what
"Part of the surprise", as he called it
After a two hour ride in Tony's car, you sitting in the passenger seat, the three of you arrived to the inner coastal marina
APPARENTLY Tony had a boat here and decided to take you guys on some light boating in the inner coastal
It was great. The stuff in the bag was a picnic.
You did generally the same activities for the rest of the month: breakfast with Steve, walk, pool, relaxing w/ the soldiers, playing with Peter, eating Steve's sandwiches, paddling with Peter, floating with Wanda, ocassionaly running with Sam, relaxing with Clint, working on tech with Tony when you were too burnt to go outside, and always ending the day by gathering the team together for a dinner under the stars and waves in the background
You loved dinner the best. Having everybody together was the best. Whether it was Steve ranting about America, You and Peter ranting about school, Sam telling the same stories, Nat trying to hook up Steve, Clint bragging about his farm, and even Tony and Steve arguing; you always went to bed with a full heart.
You learned more than how to properly chicken fight a super soldier at this house; you learned that vacations aren't made by the destination. Vacations are made by the people you travel with, and the memories you make with them.
#avengers x reader#peter parker x reader#tony stark x reader#bucky x reader#wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff#clint barton#wanda maximoff x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#clint barton x reader#avengers#beach#vacation#cute#marvel#avengers x you#peter parker x you#tony stark x you#bucky x you#captain america x reader#spiderman x reader#iron man x reader
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Snowed under by your love - Chapter 4.
Okay so this one came by pretty quickly to me but am not sure if the next one will come out at the same pace. Thank you all for all the love and encouragement you’ve been showering me with. It’s the reason why I keep writing.
My jonsa soul sister @kitten1618x who is my alpha and beta is truly meticulous and thorough in her editing and I am not happy with my writing until she is. So thank you very much, Love!!
Special mention to @becky217 for the prompt response and feedback. @fedonciadale @accuritefish @littledove @mommyandherblog @icequeen28 @hopepeaceandblackgirlmagic @geekprincess26 @lanamv96 @vervainqueen7 @annarosym @treehillraven23-blog @iqqsgonnabeokay @broadwaysprincess @trinuviel @justbrie @castalya @jami-elite @sestamibi-baby @cute-poison20102014 @hyojung12 @sweatysnow @vale110391 @tamica76 @longlivetheyoungwolf @teddyduchess @riahchan @bethnoel @amnex @twilight-sparx @nina2406 @nat111love @eternallyvain @tayanassayag @ronarch2671 @yol101 @unimportantpoetry @myownblueworld @graceverse @m-s-21 @vitvill98 @sansajons @poprox012-blog @devonmorgan1 @redwolf1283 @strangebirds1202 @ralphy246 @littlebird-whitewolf Thank you all for the replies, comments, likes and reblogs..
Because I am not yet on Ao3 and I’m not sure if you’d like to be tagged, please feel free to to leave a reply or message or ask if you’d like to be tagged. Thank you so much for your patience!!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Sansa let the warm water run down her hair, in the shower. Today had been the toughest day of her life and, she was physically, mentally and emotionally drained out of every single ounce of energy. Can one really outrun destiny? I guess not, she thought. Karma was a bitch and it did come to bite you in the ass. She’d known when she had made the decision of raising Lyanna alone that if the day ever came that Jon Snow found out about his daughter, both their lives would be irreversibly changed. She had panicked when Jon told her about dragging her to the court about Lyanna. Her mind had painted before her, a thousand scenarios of Lyanna standing in a witness box, Lyanna being interviewed by strangers and so many other scary situations for her little baby that she’d forgotten that Jon COULDN’T BE SURE that Lyanna was his. And she had slipped. She had given him the conformation, he was looking for. She’d told him Lyanna was his daughter, after almost five years of keeping the fact hidden from him. And Jon had reacted exactly like she had expected him to react. In fact, knowing Jon Snow, it could’ve been far worse.
He’d wanted his daughter, from the very minute he’d realised she was his. Why do you want her now, she’d ached to ask him, but knew as soon as the question arose in her mind that, it was rather unfair of her to do so. Hadn’t she herself wanted her baby? From the very moment, she’d known she was pregnant, from the very first flutter she’d felt in her womb?
Sansa had also known there was no point in deterring Jon or arguing with him about Lyanna. Nothing she said or did was going to change his mind about having his daughter in his life. She’d seen the determination in his eyes and she’s known that it was more sensible for her to just resign to the fact that this is how it was going to be from now on. Jon wanted in, and there was no way on earth, she was going to be able to stop him. Not that she wanted to. Unbeknownst to Jon, a great burden had been lifted from Sansa’s heart. She’d never liked keeping Lyanna a secret from Jon and now, she didn’t have to.
But suggesting that they go to Winterfell?? THAT WAS UNEXPECTED. Sansa squeezed her eyes shut when she remembered their argument over his suggestion.
“Pack your bags??” Sansa had been outraged at his audacity. “I hope you do realise that you can’t be ordering me around, Jon Snow. I do have a choice whether or not I want to go.”
Jon had literally snarled at her. “Exactly like I had a choice, five years ago, whether or not I wanted my daughter?” He had inched closer to her and she thought all her cognitive abilities had come to an abrupt halt. Damn the man, for having such an effect on her even after five long years. His breathing was very irregular and she could see the fury flash in his eyes. “You should be thanking me that it’s not much worse for you, Sansa Stark. But if you keep your ego aside for a moment, you’ll see that it’s actually a good thing to happen for Lya.”
Sansa hadn’t, for the life of her, been able to understand how this could work in Lyanna’s favour. She’d dreaded thinking about how Robb was going to react if she EVER told him. A shudder ran down her back and Jon had moved away, pulling a chair to sit down. He’d pulled one for her to sit on too, but she had stubbornly refused, like a petulant child. Jon had simply shrugged and continued talking. “All the stories that I’ve heard from Lyanna, in whatever little time that I spent with her, have been about her Uncles and Aunties and Granny and Grandpa and her cousins which can only mean that your family is very much a part of her life and she obviously loves them a lot. It’s rather evident, therefore, to me at least that if I am going to be an active part of her life and so are they; we’re going to have to meet eventually.” Jon interlinked his palms and placed his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, his face filled with disquiet. “So why wait for it to happen? Besides, I’ve been running away from facing your father for years now. I don’t want to anymore.” Sansa had remembered that fateful day all too well and she could see in Jon’s eyes that he did too. “You can tell Lyanna, that we’re going to Winterfell with her Uncle Robb’s friend. We’ll sail to White Harbour and drive down to Winterfell from there. It will give us a lot of time together. Once we’re in Winterfell we’ll …. ummmm…. talk to your family, and then slowly break it to her. She’ll have the people she trusts, around her. It’s the best place for her to be, really.”
Sansa wondered how the ‘talk to your family’ bit was going to work out. She knew that her mother and father would be civilised about the whole thing, at the very least. Bran was going to be himself, probably wearing the ‘I warned you this would happen’ look on his face. Arya was undoubtedly the right person to talk to if Sansa was even going to entertain this mad idea. Rickon was perhaps going to be the first one to hug Jon but Robb? Once again, Sansa dreaded thinking about how Robb was going to react. Jon didn’t have a clue how fiercely protective Robb was about Lyanna and how much he’d hated Jon for everything that happened. But he’d never admitted any of this, not even to himself. But Jon did have a point. Lyanna felt most at home, at Winterfell. She was the eldest Stark grandchild. Robb and Talisa’s Ben was just two months younger than Lya but they got along with each other like house on fire, just like their fathers had once. It was also where Lya had come to realise that she didn’t have a father like her cousins. She invented stories and told them to Ben about her imaginary father who was fighting monsters in castles so that he could come back to her. Ben, who adored Lya, believed every word she said. It was their ‘not-very-secret’ secret. She loved playing big sister to Anna, Lilly, George and Nymeria. She’d often begged Sansa to move closer to her family and her cousins. If she were to discover that she had a father too, like she’d always wanted and imagined, it was really in her interest that it happened at Winterfell.
Jon had probably seen the resignation in her eyes. He’d risen up from where he was sitting. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning, Sansa, and I’m hoping you’re going to have an answer by then.” The firm look had come back on his face when he slowly prowled towards her. “If you and Lyanna don’t come with me, I’ll go to Winterfell by myself and bring them all down here, even if I have to wage a war to do it, and then tell Lyanna myself that I’m her father.” He brushed past her and opened the door to leave but not before he told her, “And don’t think, even for a second, that I won’t do it.”
Sansa turned off the shower with a start. The worst thing that could ever happen, was Jon going to Winterfell all by himself. It was a risk she couldn’t take. Who knows what might come tumbling out of her family members mouths in her absence. Jon Snow must never know, why she did, what she did.
Sansa wrapped herself in a towel and got out of the bathroom. She towel dried her long red hair and changed into her PJs. Sansa then slowly tip-toed into Lya’s room and watched the serene expression on her daughter’s face while she slept. In spite of the emotional roller coaster that Sansa had experienced today, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. When Lya was awake, Sansa often wondered when she would go to sleep so she could get some work done and maybe have some time for herself. But when Lya finally did go off to sleep, Sansa got bored of the silence and the absence of the melodious voice that said ‘Mummy’ every single minute. Were mothers always so conflicted? She knelt down beside her daughter’s bed, carefully ran her hand over her forehead and kissed it, resisting the temptation to do it a hundred times more. How was Lya going to deal with Jon’s presence in her life? What kind of a father would Jon be?
She already knew the answer to that, she thought as she quietly went back to her room. Jon would probably take some time, but he would be the best ever father Lyanna could hope for. Just as he had been the best ever friend to Robb and Theon, the best ever brother to Arya, Rickon and Bran, the best ever son to Ned and Catelyn Stark. Jon had always kept his distance from her and she hated it. Sansa knew she was partly to blame for this distance. She had always behaved cold and indifferent around him. Her siblings, especially Arya, had hated her for this coldness she had shown towards Jon. But neither her siblings nor Jon, had ever known the REAL reason behind her indifference. Sansa had had the hugest crush on him, from the very first moment that she had set her eyes on him. Her heart would start pounding, her pulse racing and her palms would become sweaty when Jon was around. She had been scared her siblings would figure out her true feelings. So had she feigned indifference and dislike to cover up the crush that was festering inside her heart like a wound that wouldn’t ever heal. She had tried her best to get him to notice her in a not so obvious manner, wearing the best of clothes, trying to look as pretty as she could. Unfortunately for her, Jon had always seen her as Robb’s kid sister and nothing else.
It had gotten worse when Jon had started dating girls. Sansa had been heartbroken. She vividly remembered the first time Jon had shyly introduced his first girlfriend, Val, to the Starks. Jon was living with them, then. Val was a stunning blonde beauty at 16, and Sansa, who was only twelve, felt gangly and ugly in front of her. She’d thrown a terrible temper tantrum about a spinach pie and had been grounded for a day by her mother, who was appalled by the fact that her otherwise lady-like girl, had behaved like a hussy. Robb and Arya had tried to speak to her but she had shut them away. She’d always struggled with her feelings for Jon, as she was too fearful to talk to her siblings about it, worried that they would judge her for having these feelings for someone who was like a brother to the rest of them. She had never had an outlet to vent her frustration and that had made things worse for her. When Jon and Robb had turned 18, they had both wanted to move out of the Stark mansion, especially Jon but her father had put his foot down. Finally, a truce had been drawn. Robb and Jon would move to the outhouse which was very much in the premises of the mansion. This had made things worse for Sansa, for now when she went to meet Robb, many times she encountered Jon alone and she didn’t know how to behave around him. Like Robb, Jon had been extremely protective of her and Sansa wondered if any boy would ever have the guts to ask her out, with the reputation that preceded her.
Sansa got into her bed and stacked the pillows for her to rest her head. She sighed and thought about how she’d gone on a dating spree when she’d turned 16, to retaliate against Robb’s machinations to protect her and to convince herself that she didn’t really need Jon Snow. But every boy she’d ever dated proved to be disappointing, if not disgusting and she’d pined more and more for the one boy, she couldn’t have. Finally, things had come to a turn when she had started dating Joffrey Baratheon, a boy who was equal parts disappointing and equal parts disgusting. Robb had thrown a fit, when he came to know that Sansa was dating Joffrey, which had encouraged Sansa to mute the voice of her conscience, and continue dating Joffrey, in rebellion. She still remembered that fateful night, so clearly.
Sansa straightened her knee-length black skirt and green blouse. She was very happy with how her outfit had turned out. Today was her special date with Joffrey. He’d promised to surprise her by taking her someplace special. He’d promised her father, that he’d bring her home on time. Sansa came down the stairs and the first person she encountered was her brother Robb, who was glowering at Joffrey like a big grey wolf. Next to him sat Jon Snow, who looked broodier than his usual self. He must’ve sensed her presence for he looked up at that precise moment and their eyes locked. In all the four months that she’d dated Joffrey, Sansa had never felt so charged and light-weighted at the same time as she felt now, with just one look from Jon. He took in her appearance, slowly giving her a once over and when his eyes returned back to hers, they looked darker and stormier, if that was even possible. Sansa stood rooted to the spot, unable to look away from him.
“Sansa, you look ….” Started Joffrey, getting up from the couch to offer her, his arm, but Robb growled and Joffrey recoiled a little bit, then rolled his eyes. “Ummm… This is a pretty dress. Shall we go?”
She could still feel Jon’s eyes on her. Of course, he disapproved of Joffrey. Why would he not? Robb didn’t like Joffrey, so it was obvious that Jon would follow suit. He had never vocally expressed his dislike and so Sansa was taken aback when she heard him say, “WAIT ….” She turned back to see him get up from his place and walk towards them. Jon was twenty now, piling on muscles by the day and looked menacing in his favourite black T-shirt and Black jeans that he usually wore, matching the black of his mood. He gave her a tentative look before glaring into Joffrey’s eyes with absolute purpose.
“If you try anything funny with her, golden boy” he paused, a muscle working in his jaw, “Anything at all..” He repeated looking at Sansa again, and she felt dizzy with the intensity in his grey eyes. “You will wish, you were never born….” And with another terse look at the two of them, he stormed back into the house leaving Sansa totally and utterly shocked. It was all she could think about, on her way to some party that Joffrey was taking her to.
Apparently, ‘a party at one of his friend’s house’ was Joffrey’s idea of a special date and Sansa was thoroughly disappointed with him. Her thoughts, however, kept drifting back to Jon. It was so out of character for Jon, to have threatened Joffrey, the way he had. She had been too stunned to even react like she would’ve if it were Robb who had issued the same threat. Robb and Theon were the most aggressive of the three. Well, if truth be told, Theon was just plain stupid, Robb was the aggressive one and Jon was the more level-headed of the three, who usually bailed them out of fights, or stopped them from getting into one.
Sansa continued to be lost in her thoughts about Jon, when she suddenly realised that something was terribly wrong with her. She was feeling awfully dizzy and she’d not even consumed alcohol. Had her drink been spiked with something? Joffrey was now giving her a sly look and all warning bells started going off in Sansa’s brains. In spite of the numbness that was dulling her brains, she thought fast and hard for an escape route.
If Sansa was anything, she was a survivor. She smiled sweetly at Joffrey and told him she wanted to use the Loo, and he had obviously not suspected a single thing. Sansa summoned every single ounce of her willpower to pretend that she could walk steadily but the minute she reached the bathroom, she bolted herself inside.
She reached into her purse and took out her phone to dial Robb’s number. It was unreachable. She couldn’t even see the numbers on her phone correctly. Frustrated and extremely petrified at whatever Joffrey had planned for her, she pressed the phone assist and yelled ‘JON’ into it. Sansa went to the bathtub and lay down in it, hoping against hope that Jon picked up the phone. He did, on the first ring. “Sansa??”
“JON!” Sansa yelled into the phone “I think Joffrey has spiked my drink. My vision’s blurred, my head is spinning, I can’t even stand on my feet.”
Jon swore so harshly that Sansa was surprised he knew to swear at all. “Don’t move from there. I’ll be there in exactly five minutes.” He cut the call. Even in her daze, Sansa remembered that she never told Jon where to come and get her. She tried to get up from the tub and staggered to the basin when she heard some commotion below. It sounded like furniture was being dragged around the house and someone was hammering the wood a lot. Sansa splashed water on her face and drank at least a few litres in an attempt to flush whatever was in her system. After what felt like a few centuries later, a knock sounded on the bathroom door.
“Sansa…” Jon’s voice came through from the other side. Relief flooded her entire being and Sansa ran unsteadily to the door, unlocked it and flew into Jon’s arms without waiting for him to offer that comfort. Whatever Jon was about to say, had frozen in his mouth, just as he had, when she hugged him. This was the first time that she’d ever gotten this physically close to him. In the next instant, she felt his strong arms go around her, gathering her more securely against him, almost lifting her off her feet. She felt him press his lips against her temple and she was lost, lost in the sensation that was Jon Snow. She nuzzled against his cheek and inhaled his familiar scent. She felt like, this is where she belonged; this is where she was always meant to be; that she had found her haven. But the moment was lost as quickly as it had come, for Jon pushed her away from him with a slight jerk. “Sansa, are you alright?” he said, his breath coming out in huffs.
Sansa took a while to focus on him. He had thrown a black leather jacket over his previous attire but what really caught her attention was his bloody fist. She immediately reached for it, but he drew his hand away. She looked at him furiously. “What did you do to him?”
Sansa saw that violent look come into his eyes. “The less you know, the better. Come now, let’s get you home.”
But Sansa refused to budge. Suddenly a thought nagged at her brain. “How did you know where to find me?”
Jon rubbed his eyes with his fingers. Thankfully, his other fist looked intact. He looked extremely uncomfortable when he answered her. “Robb, Theon and I followed you here. It was Robb’s idea.” He added, when he saw Sansa’s shocked expression. “And you should be thankful we did. He was planning to put on a show for his friends with you, the bloody motherfucker.” Jon spat the words looking angrier than Sansa had ever seen him look. Sansa felt a sudden wave of nausea overcome her and her anger at Robb for having followed her on her date instantly disappeared. She should thank her stars for having a protective, interfering and loving brother like Robb in her life. What would’ve happened if he had decided to leave her alone, just like she had told him to, a million times?
“Before you ask me” Jon’s heated voice broke through her thoughts and she looked at him. “Yes, Robb and Theon were right here. They’ve taken those assholes to the police. Robb asked me to take you home.” Then suddenly, he turned his anger on her. “What the hell is wrong with you, Sansa? Why are all your boyfriends, miserable twisted fucks?”
Jon’s face was now inches away from Sansa’s and maybe it was the drug still acting up in her system but all her anger at Jon was coming back to her. She rolled her eyes. “Because obviously, I’m not dating the person, I desperately want to date.”
Jon’s expression changed and he creased his brows in confusion. “There’s someone else you want to date?” He took a firm step towards her. “Why don’t you then?” His words sounded harsh. Jon clearly did not trust her choice.
Sansa gulped at the disdain she heard in his voice. HE, was responsible for this. She was bursting from within. “Because, he doesn’t want me.” The truth hurt her, but she said it anyway.
Jon looked at her for ten long seconds and then scoffed, shaking his head. “What kind of an imbecile, wouldn’t want you, Sansa Stark?”
Sansa’s heart was pounding against her rib-cage. By some stroke of luck, an opportunity had been presented to her, to finally say what was in her heart. Did she have the courage to go through with it? Sansa took a step forward. She would’ve fallen had Jon not held both her arms and steadied her.
Blue eyes were locked with dark grey ones “Would you call yourself an imbecile, Jon Snow?”
Jon looked like he’d been punched in the face. He narrowed his eyes, then looked shocked and then looked confused. “Sansa….” He said after what seemed like an eternity. “You can’t possibly mean what you said.”
Sansa felt stung, rejected. What had she expected anyway? She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he didn’t let her escape. It was a futile attempt anyway. He was far stronger than her. Fury and frustration bubbled inside her. If she’d come down this far, she might as well go all the way. So she looked directly into his eyes and said “I like you, Jon Snow. Deal with it.” And she kissed him.
She threaded her fingers through his dark silken curls like she’d always imagined in her dreams, and pressed her lips to his. His lips felt soft and warm and she wanted more. Jon still stood like a rigid cold statue and Sansa suddenly realised the folly of her actions. This was definitely going to be the most embarrassing day of her teenage life. How was she going to face Jon, after today?
Her grip on his hair slowly slackened. She was about to move away from him, when he suddenly held her face in his palms and devoured her mouth in a ferocious kiss that sent tremors through her entire body. It had to be SHOCK, thought Sansa desperately. Jon was kissing her. THIS WAS HAPPENING FOR REAL. Sansa was soaring above the skies as Jon’s kiss made her feel dizzier than the drug she had accidentally consumed. There was an entire orchestra playing inside her body as Jon’s mouth worked expertly over hers. Sansa’s hands travelled from his hair to his neck to his corded shoulders where she held on to him for dear life. She felt hot and cold at the same time. Never had she, in her entire dating history, been kissed so passionately by a boy like Jon was kissing her now. Jon’s fingers were now tangled in her hair and he angled her head slightly to deepen the kiss and she arched into him. His tongue was now doing the exploring and Sansa moaned loudly as she kissed him back with the same intensity.
The next instant Jon had withdrawn himself from her muttering “Shit… Shit …Fuck… Shit…”
Sansa shut her eyes to stop the tears from flowing, because she knew all too well that the moment, however beautiful it was while it lasted, was over.
“I am a bloody lout…” Jon was cursing himself and in general. He looked utterly disgusted with himself. Then he turned to look at her. “I am sorry Sansa….b-but this … us… This can never happen. Ever… You are Ned’s little girl. You’re Robb’s sister.” Jon cringed at the very mention of Robb.
“Jon, there’s nothing wrong with what happened.” Sansa said, hoping against hope that he could stop seeing her as Sansa STARK. “Just because I’m Robb’s sister….”
“Sansa…just stop, please” Jon moved away from her, running his palm through his curly locks. “This was …. an…an aberration… Please don’t talk about this again.”
An aberration? He’d called the best kiss of her life an aberration? “You are a bloody imbecile, Jon Snow!” Sansa had yelled at him “I hate you more than anyone else in this world.”
And hatred she had felt, for herself, thought Sansa, as she drew the covers up to her chin, wiping the lone tear that had fallen out of her eye when she was lost in her memories of her past. For her utter inability to hate him. He’d brought home Ygritte, his new girlfriend the very next day and Sansa’s skin had turned to porcelain, and no one except Bran had noticed. He had been just fourteen, but was extremely intuitive. He had looked at her and Jon several times during that cursed dinner, which was nothing but a blur in her memory. She hadn’t displayed any emotion outwardly, but something inside her had shattered that day. A realisation had dawned upon her; one she would never be rid of.
A realisation that she would remain utterly and irrevocably in love with Jon Snow, to this day, until her last day!
#jonsa#jonsa fanfiction#jonsa fic#Jon x Sansa#sansa x jon#jon and sansa#my fic#Snowed under by love#chapter 4#my post
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I rolled back into my back drive around 3 or 4 o’clock this past Saturday. Spring Break was over. The next day, we would be back to work spanking butts (we don’t actually do that) and feeding faces. The job is a great one. You would be hard-pressed to find something more fulfilling to do as an occupation than providing for the care of children. However, the break was nice. They always are. So, here’s the recap…
Two Friday’s ago, the six residents that live in our home arrived home from school and began the process of packing up and leaving for their break. All of them were scheduled for home visits and would be out of the house by six or seven. We had decided to leave after the last resident was gone and drive overnight. A trip to Illinois is about an eleven or twelve-hour drive for us.
Driving through the night has become an easier option for us as our children sleep through the night and require far fewer stops. We stopped for breaks as we needed to refuel to cut those stops down even more. We ended up pulling into my mother’s driveway around 5:30 on Saturday morning. The kids and I had slept most of the night (Elisa did practically all of the driving), so we stayed awake while Elisa went straight to bed to catch up on her sleep.
Saturday was fairly uneventful. We spent a large chunk of the day at the United Methodist Church in Louisville. This was the church that I grew up in. They have a really nice gymnasium that we spent hours playing in. After lunch, Elisa joined up with us at the gym for some more games.
That night, my family took me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday (which I am still telling lies about, by the way). The restaurant of choice would be Los Tres Caminos. This place is your typical Mexican eatery. They start you off with salsa and chips while you wait for your food. I had the chicken chimichanga, which was excellent.
At one point, I noticed my mother (being less than sneaky) talking to one of the waiters and pointing over at me. Shortly afterward, an army of waiters arrived at my backside with a sombrero and some sort of ice creamy dessert (it has corn flakes in it). I saw this other dude holding a spoon full of whipped cream who kept moving around behind me. My assumption was that I would end up with whipped cream on my nose. I was both right and wrong about that assumption. Following a birthday serenade, my nose did end up covered in whipped cream but only after most of the rest of my face was covered as well.
Happy Birthday to me!!!
The next morning was Easter Sunday. We went to church with my mother at Louisville United Methodist which was fun. Many of the people who I grew up going to church with are still in attendance. The kids got pretty involved with the service as Caleb helped with the offering and the kids all sat in the very front row.
After church, we all went up to my aunt Nancy’s house for lunch and their annual Easter Egg hunt. Just to provide a little context for the family dynamic here. When I was growing up, my grandma and grandpa would have all of their family over to their house on the first Sunday of every month for lunch. Nancy is my mother’s oldest sibling and has carried on that tradition somewhat with her family on the holidays (they might get together more frequently than that actually).
It was pretty cold out but the egg hunt went on regardless. The Strange, Forth & Kerns clan were definitely represented well among those in the hunt. My kids gathered up a small fortune in candy, coins, and dollar bills.
From that point, we had quite a few consecutive lazy days where not much happened aside from relaxation. Monday and Tuesday were both spent making no decisions and doing nothing other than leisurely activities such as social media stalking and the occasional round of Phase 10.
On Wednesday, we made a trip down to Carmi to check in on our friends down there. We spent the first few hours at Baptist Children’s Home & Family Service‘s office catching up with our former co-workers. I made my way over to Drew’s Barber Den where my good friend, Nick Knight (the dude in the middle of their facebook picture) got me cleaned up.
After a few more hours with friends on BCH’s campus, we made our way over to Scott Kiser’s house for an evening with their family. For those of you who do not know the Kiser’s, I have blogged about them before and they are fantastic people. Sydney is super close to their two daughters and always looks forward to spending time with them. We spent the night at their house and part of the next day there as well.
Thursday night saw us return to my mother’s house for the evening where a much more competitive round of Phase 10 awaited us. Being veteran’s of the game now, we were up to the task as my wife crushed the competition (which was actually just my mother, Sydney and I).
The next day, we got up and got on the road for Lebanon. Elisa’s mother lives there and we spent a large chunk of our afternoon visiting with her before heading over to Highland for our nephew’s indoor soccer match. Good times were had by all as we ended up the evening in the bottom of a bowl of ice cream at their local DQ.
The plan was to stay the night in St. Louis with some family but plans changed at the last minute and we decided to head on home instead. Driving through the night with less sleep was not ideal but turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We arrived back in Virginia much earlier (obviously) than we had planned.
Along the way, we passed the Natural Bridge Zoo and decided to stop. Now, if you have not been to this location before (probably the majority of you readers have not) then let me explain the experience to you. Imagine for a second that you owned a large amount of property that could best be described as a large, unfarmable field. Then, imagine that you just started building animal cages in random spots around the property and populated those cages with various different types of domestic and exotic animals with no real rhyme or reason to their locations.
If you have this image in your mind, you know exactly what Natural Bridge Zoo looks like. Yet, despite the randomness that this location provides, it is AWESOME! We loved it. There was a lot of interaction as you could feed practically everything that they had there.
After spending about an hour and a half at the zoo, it began to occur to us that we were extremely tired and in need of sleep. So, we loaded on up and finished the two hours remaining in our drive to reach home.
Then we died…..
Not really, but we did sleep quite well that night.
I will leave you with this little bit of advice.
Life is Strange. Live it Well.
Spring Break – 2018 Edition I rolled back into my back drive around 3 or 4 o'clock this past Saturday. Spring Break was over.
#Baptist Children&039;s Home and Family Services#Drew&039;s Barber Den#Easter Egg Hunt#family#Flora#Illinois#Los Tres Caminos#Louisville#Louisville United Methodist Churh#Natural Bridge Zoo#Patrick Henry Family Services#Phase 10#Spring Break
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Pioneer Day Camp for ages 5-7 was held at Mennonite Heritage Village from July 10-14. I signed Gunnar up, not sure how he would adapt since he is so shy, but camp actually helped him adjust to what kindergarten will be like. He made a new friend, learned some pioneer skills and made a new craft every day. He had a really great week and came out of his shell a bit. He really seems to like my boss. Every day at the end of camp he came to my office to tell me about his day and then off he went to my boss’s office to tell him.
Parish and Danek spent the entire week with their dad while Gunnar spent the evenings since he had to come to work with me. It made for a relatively quiet week of mostly just me and Mikayla hanging out although she spent Wednesday at celebrations dinner theatre with Grandma.
By Friday I had the house to myself. Mikayla went to her dad’s and the others spent the weekend with theirs. Having so much free time is really unusual for me and although nice since it is so rare, makes me want to do stuff since I’m not used to sitting still. So that being the case, I over filled my weekend with activities. spent Friday night enjoying a horror movie marathon after a walk to the store for slurpees, Saturday was spent showing a friend around the museum and meeting new people. While it was fun, it was also exhausting.
Monday, back to work and then rush home to pack the truck and meet grandma in Beausejour. The kids then headed to the cabin after we all had supper at Moe’s Diner. Once getting back home, I met a friend for a couple of games of pool in Lorette before calling it a night. Tuesday was some social media drama and frustration so went out with a friend to clear my head. Wednesday, I went for a couple of games of pool in Lorette again and really didn’t enjoy the evening, couldn’t wait for it to end in fact, so made an excuse and bailed as early as I could.
Following Wednesday, I didn’t want to do anything. I just really needed to take some time for me. So I did, I stuck around home in the evenings, had some lazy tv watching nights and outside of work pretty much avoided everyone for a couple of days. I did next to nothing until Saturday.
Saturday, went to the speedway with a friend and watched the races and the mud bogging, it was a lot of fun until we got rained out. From there, with the options that were suggested to me, I really just wanted to once again stay home and not do anything and was fully planning to do that until my friend offered to take me out cruising and off-roading. It was really the only offer that didn’t consist of sitting around talking and having drinks and I really didn’t feel like I wanted any drinks at all. So I agreed.
It was so much fun just driving around, singing along to the radio, talking, driving around this area down many quiet dirt roads until heading over to some old pits and tearing around there with the Jeep. We watched a couple of guys climb the biggest hill in a Harley Davidson Edition Ford and they called us up. We figured the Jeep wouldn’t make it up with the stock tires etc and opted for the other way which is still pretty rough. Anyway, we made it to the top and were then invited to join their diaper party for their friend who was celebrating his first baby. We didn’t stick around long, the mosquitoes were out in full force and it was becoming unbearable, so we headed out.
Sunday, I headed out to the cabin in the afternoon to get the kids and visit a little bit. They were so excited, Gunnar came racing off the deck and almost got to the car before I even got out. After we talked and ate some lunch, me and Gunnar went on a boat ride with Grandpa and Uncle Jas. It was nice and relaxing, so much so, Gunnar fell asleep. Once back at the cabin we took the pedal boat out for a little ride along the shore, without Juno being there, we were able to go a little further, since she wasn’t tagging along. We stayed out there until after supper and then went home and enjoyed an evening of just us. Haven’t had one of those in awhile. Before the kids went to bed, we were watching a movie and Danek turned and then yelled Oh my Gosh! We all jumped up to see what he was freaking out about, Hurley figured out how to squeeze through the bars of her cage, oh no, we now needed a new cage asap!
The rats were removed from the big cage for the night and I searched VarageSale, finally locating a decent looking cage, specifically for them and it came with some pretty cool toys. They are definitely enjoying their new home and the fear of them getting out and becoming cat food is no longer a concern.
Mikayla’s new ceiling lift was installed Monday, much to her dismay. She was expecting a sling very much like the ones given to us following her spine surgery and was really not happy about it at all. They finished the installation before we got home from picking up silent auction prizes and so they would need to come back to properly train us on the use of the lift and ways to extend battery life etc.
Wednesday came and brought closure to a very large chapter of our lives, the house is now officially ours. It is no longer owned by him and I, it is now just me and we can no longer have liens placed against the property from his outstanding debts. This is such a relief and has been a very long process. To finally have it come to an end, its honestly the best thing and we can move forward.
Thursday, I officially learned how to use the lift and at that time realized that her dread and fight on it were pretty unnecessary, this new sling design is much better and she is held in place properly instead of seeming to slide out the bottom of it. She still much prefers the sit to stand lift for most things, but she is no longer completely opposed. That evening, I was able to re-use my speedway ticket for the races since Saturday’s race was called due to rain. So I took the boys with me and we enjoyed supper at the track and watched tons of races, they had a blast. One of my aunt’s friends was there since her husband does the photography and we were given some additional passes to come again at some point throughout the season. Near the end, our friend from town joined us in time to watch her son race and move up from 11th place to 4th. It was an awesome race, he did so well. After the races were over we went into the pit and the boys had their pictures taken while sitting in some of the cars, they received autographed pictures, candy, tattoos and even foam fingers. They were so excited for this experience and would love to go again.
Friday, was not a great day. I was pretty tired most of the day from a late night at the races, totally worth it though. The parade float was finished at work and looks awesome, so despite some criticism, I think its a good change. The kids were with their dad when I got home so Mikayla and I had a good part of the evening together and we caught up on Big Brother a little bit until my friend came over for a bit. We hung out and chatted and just as she left my phone rang. Parish was on the phone saying we are coming home, I’ll explain when we get there. Within a minute they pulled into the driveway and I ran to slip on shoes to help with their stuff, but they were coming in the door in tears as I came to help them. All three came in the house bawling, Gunnar wrapped around me refusing to let go for the better part of an hour and too scared to use the washroom on his own. Danek and Parish also came in for a hug before moving to spots on the couch sniffling and still crying off and on. I am not entirely sure of the events, since I was not there. I do know there was far too much alcohol involved and a lot of yelling and Gunnar was grabbed by the shoulder and Danek by the arm. They have never been that scared before and not having been there, I don’t know all the circumstances, but I do know that they do not need to be around that, and unfortunately, it was a very abrupt ending to what had been a pretty good visit.
Saturday, I took them out to start accumulating some of their school supplies, although it is still a month or so away, it always seems to sneak up sooner than expected, so better now then later. They were excited to pick their new backpacks and indoor shoes. Gunnar likes his so much, the only issue now is reminding him that they are indoor shoes. After arriving home, Mikayla’s friend stopped by to show us her new Honda Civic, it looks great. In the evening, my friend stopped by and we took the kids off-roading again, they had a blast. Danek said his stomach was flipping around, but otherwise they all had fun driving through the pits and climbing the big hills. We came back home afterwards and Mikayla joined us outside for a bonfire, she hadn’t come off-roading, instead she stayed home and had a friend over. So it was another late night, but was definitely one that they all enjoyed.
Sunday, was such a lazy day for all of us. We mostly lounged and watched TV despite the beautiful weather, just so tired and really needed to catch up on some sleep. Now we are just going to head out and get some ice cream….until next time.
July 30, 2017 Pioneer Day Camp for ages 5-7 was held at Mennonite Heritage Village from July 10-14. I signed Gunnar up, not sure how he would adapt since he is so shy, but camp actually helped him adjust to what kindergarten will be like.
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