#also this series is so fucking great and i forgot how much i loved it
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@pscentral EVENT 26: MINIMALISM
ANDOR (2022) - ONE WAY OUT
#pscentral#andor series#andoredit#starwars#starwarsblr#starwarsedit#cassian andor#kino loy#skyshippergifs#this is as minimal as i get#i tried to desaturate the colors to black white and orange only#also this series is so fucking great and i forgot how much i loved it#i got all pumped up watching these scenes again#imo the best of star wars since mando season one appeared#what a brilliant show#time for a rewatch#i can't wait for season two
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Always Ever Only You Part 27 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley just needs your full attention long enough for you to tell him what's bothering you, and for you to pick out a new car. He comes home from golfing completely unwilling to let you gloss things over, but the conversation veers off course once again when you share some big news.
Warnings: Swearing, smut, oral, pregnancy topics, angst, fluff
Length: 5400 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32
By the eighteenth hole, Bradley was restless. This was taking forever. He somehow forgot how meticulous Bob was when he teed off, adding probably a full hour to the golf outing. He bit his tongue and fought the urge to tell Bob to move things along so he could get back home to you. When he left hours ago, you were still sound asleep, and he was concerned that you weren't feeling well. He was also completely fed up with the way you were avoiding conversation.
He played through the last hole as quickly as he could, and when Jake and Javy suggested grabbing lunch and a beer, he made his excuses and a quick exit. "Next time. And it'll be my treat. But I need to get home."
"Angel's got you so pussy whipped," Jake drawled as if he wasn't currently driving his car around complete with a car seat for Jeremiah.
"Do you ever hear me denying it or complaining about it?" Bradley replied as he set his clubs in the back of the Bronco. "I don't think she's feeling great, and I need her to pick out a new car. I'm getting fed up with her dragging her feet. So she's picking something out today."
Jake laughed as he opened his car door. "Yeah, go try to show her who's the boss, buddy. Good luck with that."
Bradley grunted and rolled his eyes. You and he were a team, and if he had to demand that you hear him out, then he'd get his way about it. He was absolutely unwilling to return to a place where the two of you weren't communicating well. But as he drove back home, he was starting to get more annoyed. He already asked you so many times to tell him what was bothering you and what was on your mind, and each time, you'd burst into tears. He didn't even know what the hell he was doing wrong.
"Fuck," he growled as he pulled into the empty driveway, honestly kind of missing your little shit mobile since it had made you happy. Today was his mom's birthday, and he wanted you to have a good day, but if he pissed you off, then he pissed you off. He was armed with his phone browser open to two options that would just have to be good enough. He left his clubs in the car as he strolled up the walkway to the porch in his white golf pants and floral print shirt. He would just have to get you to accept the fact that a new car needed to happen.
"Sweetheart?" he called out when he opened the door. You and Tramp both came running into the living room. "Hey, we need to talk about some of this shit. Right now."
"Okay, but-"
"Please," he said firmly, holding up one hand. "Just let me say what I need to say, alright?"
You were bouncing on the balls of your bare feet with your hands clasped in front of you. "Okay," you agreed, your voice breathy and light. All he wanted to do was collect you in his arms and smother you in kisses, but he couldn't get sidetracked right now.
Bradley closed the distance to you but planted his hands on his hips. "I love you so much, but something is not working right now. And I'm not going to let us fall apart again. Ever. I want to talk it through right now, and I need you to participate. Starting with your car."
You reached out and let one hand rest on his abs as your lips parted, but he shook his head.
"No, seriously, Baby Girl. I will do anything to make you happy, but could you please, please just pick out a car? I don't like leaving you home without one." He paused to lean in and kiss your forehead briefly. "I found a brand new, red Honda Civic with all of the same features as your old one. Same transmission, sunroof, everything. And it's on a lot in Chula Vista. We could go look at it right now."
"Bradley, I don't think that's a good idea," you told him, smiling up at him. He felt his resolve fracturing, but he kept going.
"Well, something has to give here! That's the best I can come up with. Unless... you want to go with the blue one I found online which is exactly the same as the one that I totaled. Same model year and everything, but it's in Maine. If you really want it, we can fly there and drive it back. I already talked to the owner about the price."
"Bradley, I don't want that one either."
He tipped his head back in frustration as your hand caressed him through his shirt. "For the love of god, Sweetheart, I am trying my best here. And you're giving me nothing. And it's not just the car," he snapped as he met your gaze again, eyes wide looking up at him. "You yelled at me for buying the wrong coffee when I thought they just changed the label, and you fell asleep while we were mid conversation. And I hurt you when we were having sex, but you wouldn't even talk about it afterwards. I need you to tell me if I'm not doing it for you, because I don't want to keep fucking this up!"
"You're not fucking anything up," you promised quietly. "You're not, Roo."
He examined your pretty, eager face and shrugged. "Then just tell me what's going on here."
You bit your lip and closed the remaining inches between your body and his, and then you smiled up at him so brilliantly, his breath caught in his lungs. As you carefully wrapped your arms around his waist, you said, "I'm pregnant."
He was frozen in time and space, barely able to process your words as his belly swooped and his heart raced. Pregnant. You were pregnant? He swallowed hard as he let his forehead rest against yours, trying to formulate words.
"Baby Girl, are you really? Pregnant?"
"Yes," you whispered, and Bradley had you in his arms, making you squeal as he lifted you up in the air.
"You're pregnant?" he asked again, beaming at you as you wrapped your legs and arms around him.
"I'm pregnant!"
"Holy shit!" he nearly screamed as you buried your face in his neck and laughed in delight. "Holy shit! You're pregnant!"
He didn't know what to do with himself as he held you tight against him, imagining a baby in your arms. His baby. And your baby. Something the two of you had been dreaming about for so long. The one thing he'd had to make himself understand he didn't need at the cost of a happy marriage, but that he'd still yearned for.
Your happy laughter and whispered words had his feet moving toward the bedroom. "You're going to be a dad, Roo."
He set you down on the bed, covering your body with his large one, careful not to hurt you as your sweet lips met his. "I love you so much," he murmured between kisses that left him breathless. "I fucking adore you, Sweetheart."
You whimpered as he slowly let his hand drift down your body before inching your shirt up and running his knuckles gently along your belly. He kissed you hard on the lips one last him before easing his body down lower, kissing your sternum on his way to your belly button. He thought about the future as he said, "And I adore you, too."
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You ran your fingers lazily through your husband's soft curls as his big hand rested on the middle of your belly next to his cheek. He was a little sweaty and still wearing his golf clothes, but everything was just perfect. The edge of his mustache tickled your sensitive skin as he whispered, "I love you."
Everything made sense now which made you feel more settled. Honestly, this was much better than the flu that you thought you had, and you giggled. "You'll be the best Daddy, Bradley."
He looked up your body before kissing you a dozen more times all over your abdomen. Calloused fingers stroked your skin as he looked at you with those big, brown eyes you were completely addicted to. "Fuck. I'm so excited. I don't even know what to do with myself," he told you as you sat up and climbed onto his lap. "You took a pregnancy test?"
"Yes. I had one tucked in the back of the bathroom closet that I bought a few months ago," you whispered, brushing his scarred cheek with your lips and the tip of your nose.
"Where's the test?" he asked, scooping you up in his arms again as you told him it was in the bathroom. "I want to see it." You'd managed to pick it up off the floor earlier before examining it for about five minutes with tears in your eyes before you left it on the vanity. And now Bradley set you down, but he kept one arm around you as he picked it up. "Two lines means you're pregnant?" he asked, looking at you in reverence.
You nodded and whispered, "Yes," and then his eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Roo."
"Sweetheart. You're pregnant," he said so softly. "We're going to have a baby."
"Yes," you confirmed as you wiped at his tears with your thumbs while he held onto the test. "I realized when I woke up that my period was late, and then I threw up. A lot. So I took the test."
He sucked in a deep, shaky breath before he kissed your forehead. "Do you remember what today is?"
You let your cheek come to rest on his chest as you said, "Of course I do. It's your mom's birthday. I already bought everything to make filet mignon and crab cakes for dinner. But I guess we ended up with a birthday present?"
With lips pressed to your hair, he muttered, "She would have loved this. She would have loved you almost as much as I do. And she would have been a good grandma."
And now you felt more tears stinging at your eyes. It had been nine months of trying for this moment, which wasn't extravagantly long in the grand scheme of things, but it had been stressful and hard on your marriage at times. Bradley was your teammate, and he'd worked as hard as you had to make sure the two of you made it back to a good place.
"Can we go to the store?" he asked suddenly. "Buy some more pregnancy tests so I can be here when you take one? And get some ginger ale if your stomach is still upset?"
"Yeah," you said with a laugh. "If you want."
"I want," he replied immediately, taking you by the hand and leading you toward the front door. His cheeks were flushed pink, and he was all smiles as he stopped on the driveway next to the Bronco and gasped. "The Bronco, Sweetheart."
"What about it?" you asked as he slowly backed you up until your butt hit the passenger side door. Bradley caged you in with a predatory glint in his eye before kissing your forehead softly. But you felt so calm as his hand slipped underneath your shirt, his thumb rubbing soft circles on your belly.
"A Bronco is the solution. It's so clear now. We'll swing by the Ford dealer after the drug store. And then we can drive home in two separate Broncos so you can take the tests. And then we can make my mom's birthday dinner."
Your lips parted, but no words came out, and Bradley dipped his head down to kiss you. He was smiling against your lips as his arms snaked around you. "Another Bronco?" you whispered. "You think?"
"Mmhmm," he hummed as his lips skimmed your cheek. "A lot more indestructible than your old thing. I'm not going to let our baby ride around in a little compact car death trap on wheels. Let's get a second Bronco."
"It wasn't that bad," you muttered, only slightly offended as you recalled the gigantic hole that he'd put in the bottom of your car with his foot. "Are you sure you don't just want to have access to drive two Broncos instead of one?"
Bradley leaned on one forearm against the door, still stroking your belly with his thumb and keeping you calm. "We need something big enough for a car seat to fit comfortably. If you don't want a Bronco, I think you should still consider another SUV. Preferably one I can actually fit in."
You looked up at his handsome and eager face, excitement bubbling under the surface of his expression. He was clearly as excited as you were about the positive test, and he just wanted you to be happy. Hell, he'd offered to drive a car back from Maine with you barely an hour ago. Before he even knew you were pregnant. You were still having a hard time wrapping your mind around it yourself.
Tears stung your eyes, and Bradley's smile faltered a little bit. "Listen," he whispered, kissing your forehead. "Anything you want to drive, okay? Anything you want. But I think we need to look at the safety ratings and all that shit if you really want a compact car again."
"I don't want a compact car again," you hiccupped. "I was trying to tell you that earlier. We can go look at Broncos. I'm just so emotional. I can't seem to control it. But at least I know where it's coming from now."
Bradley smiled as he pulled you away from the door before opening it, and then he buckled you in. "It's coming from the little Bradshaw bun in your oven, and I couldn't be happier."
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Even the brief walk around to the driver's side door felt like too much, because Bradley didn't want to stop touching you. As soon as he could, he slipped his hand in yours once again and smiled at you before backing out of the driveway. He'd been ready for this for a long time. He knew he'd always been a step ahead of you; his desire to date you exclusively startled you at first, but he knew pretty early on that you'd be wearing his mom's ring eventually. He was ready for this day before you were, too, but he had tried his best not to rush you here. As soon as you told him you stopped taking your birth control back in November, he was ready for you to be knocked up the next day.
But now you were, and he was looking forward to all of it. The arguments had been worth it. The way he fucked things up before had been worth it, because both of you worked hard to fix things which told him you were unbeatable.
"We're going to be awesome parents," he said, making you laugh as he parked at the pharmacy. When you tried to climb out your door, Bradley tugged on your hand and whispered, "Come over here. I don't want to stop touching you. I don't want to let go of you."
You willingly crawled onto his lap and let your cheek come to rest on his shoulder. "Don't let go of me."
"I won't," he promised, stroking your belly again like he just couldn't help himself. "Hey, should we call your parents this weekend and tell them the news?"
You pulled a few inches away from him with a little pout and shook your head. "I think it's too early, Bradley."
"Oh. Right," he replied, suddenly embarrassed that he wasn't sure about all of the timelines and exactly what everything meant.
"You know," you added softly. "In case something... happens to the baby. It's still so early. There's still a good chance that something could go wrong."
Bradley's body felt like it was sent into a freefall just thinking about anything happening to either of you. He held you tighter and kissed you a little rougher than he meant to, making you moan as he shook his head. "No. Don't say that." His voice was thick with emotion as he squeezed his eyes closed. "Don't say that, Baby Girl."
"Okay," you whispered, taking his face in both of your hands and caressing him with your soft and steady fingers. "I won't say it again." You kissed his lips and his scars as you pushed your fingers gently back through his hair which was probably already a mess from golfing earlier. But the more you touched him, the better he felt, and he took a few deep breaths as you said, "But I'm already so attached right now that it's a little scary. Already attached to the baby and the idea of you being a daddy."
"I am too," he promised as he opened his eyes to see you so close to him. "I'm so ready for this."
You kissed him one more time as you whispered, "I love you." And then you led him inside as he remembered all the times he played with Jeremiah and changed his diapers and read him books. Oh shit, he was so excited to have it for himself, he scooped up at least ten pregnancy tests while you laughed and chased him up to the registers.
"Do you think that's enough?" you asked sarcastically as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.
He picked some bottles of ginger ale out of the small refrigerator case next to the register as he said, "Listen, I missed the one from this morning, so you owe me. Just humor me, okay? I want to watch those little lines show up with my own eyes."
As he reached into his pocket for his wallet to pay for the collection of tests, he realized he was still wearing his golf clothes and shoes. In all of his excitement, he'd forgotten to change. And now he was getting excited all over again as he inserted his credit card and looked at you. Should he get you right home to take the pregnancy tests? Take you to bed and show you how attached he was, too? Visit the Ford dealer?
He groaned, knowing the Ford dealer was going to win out since he actually had your attention on the new car right now. "Here," he told you, handing you the bag as he buckled you back in again. "Drink one of the bottles so you'll have enough pee for the tests while I drive us to look at the new Broncos. Start thinking about what color you want."
"Red," you replied immediately. "It's what I had before, plus it's your favorite color."
"Fuck," Bradley practically whined, lacing his fingers with yours. "A hot, pregnant wife, a baby on the way, and two Broncos in the driveway? This might be the best day of my life so far. I don't know how much more I can handle here."
You laughed as he kissed you all over your face, resting his hand gently against your belly through your shirt. His to-do list was growing by the minute, and he was a little alarmed that his heart rate was elevated with no signs of slowing down, but every time he looked at your face he said, "I love you."
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"It's just butter, Bradley," you said as you watched him trying his best to help you cook Carole's birthday dinner. "How are you this bad at melting butter?"
He shot you a playful glare before moving to stand behind you at the stove, wrapping his arms around you so that his hands were resting on your belly. "I'll just watch the pro then."
You shook your head, still a little startled by everything that happened today. An hour at the Ford dealership and the two of you left hand in hand after paying a deposit for the red Bronco that they were going to acquire for you from a dealer in northern California. Then you came home and took ten more pregnancy tests while Bradley sat in the bathroom with you, shooting you his big, soppy brown eyes filled with tears while he smiled. They were all positive, and they were all still lined up on the vanity, and you were pretty sure he kept occasionally sneaking off to look at them.
As you turned the crab cakes over in your cast iron pan, you whispered, "I feel like your mom is watching over us somehow."
"Oh, I have no doubt," he replied immediately, holding you a little tighter and nudging your sore breasts. "Goose, too. But especially her, on her birthday. She'd have been a mess over this news."
You set the spatula down and had to close your eyes. Your hormones were all over the place, and this was the thing that sent you immediately into a fit of body wracking sobs. "What's wrong?" Bradley asked with concern, turning you around and inspecting your hands. "Did you burn yourself?"
"No," you wailed. "I'm just so happy, but it's not fair that your parents aren't here. Like I can deal with the fact that I never got to meet them, but this is so not fair! And I'm sorry, but I can't control my emotions at all."
He pulled you closer and let you cry, kissing your ear and whispering that everything was going to be okay. As you got your breathing under control, he said, "If you're this emotional at like five and a half weeks, I guess I better buckle in for the ride."
You glared up at him before he leaned down to kiss your tears away with a smile, and you let him take the brownies out of the oven and load a plate with dinner. With your hand held in his, Bradley carried the meal to the table, but he led you to the piano instead of one of the chairs.
"Remember how to play it?" he asked softly as he took a seat and patted the bench next to him. You needed a short tutorial, but he was as patient as ever as he reminded you of the notes. Then you helped him play and sing Happy Birthday to Carole even though it wasn't perfect, and at the end he whispered, "Thanks, mom. Let's go eat, Baby Girl."
You sat perched on his lap like always, mouth watering as you looked at the steak and crab cakes. Everything looked amazing, and you were starving. "How does it taste?" you asked as Bradley took three bites of dinner in rapid succession.
"Fucking incredible," he replied as you cut yourself a piece of steak. It was buttery and delicious, and it practically melted in your mouth. You moaned as you tried the crab cakes, and they were pretty good, too. About halfway through the meal your stomach lurched, and you turned to look at Bradley.
He smiled at you as you shook your head and said, "Oh no." You practically fell off of his lap as you ran for the hallway bathroom, barely making it in time to empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet. He was right behind you, rubbing your back as you sat down hard on the floor and caught your breath.
"This is a pregnancy thing, right?" he asked softly. "Morning sickness?"
You nodded. "I think so. I was going to call my doctor on Monday anyway and tell her about my positive tests, but I'll tell her about this, too."
Bradley collected you in his arms and asked, "Are you hungry?"
"Starving," you whined, letting your forehead come to rest against his sternum.
"I have an idea," he replied. A few minutes later, you were sitting on the couch with a plate of crackers smeared with peanut butter in your hand and the trash can on the floor in front of you. Bradley finished eating the plate of Carole's birthday dinner, and now he was working on cleaning up the kitchen while he dug into the tray of brownies. You gingerly bit into one of the crackers, and your stomach growled but didn't lurch. So you kept going.
It took you an hour, but you finished the whole plate as you thought about how things would change around here with a baby involved. Nothing seemed too startling though, probably because you'd been subconsciously looking forward to this for such a long time. You knew Bradley was as well. And the way he came out to check on you several times as he cleaned up the house had you swooning over your husband a little bit.
You shared the last cracker with Tramp and then stood to take your plate to the kitchen where Bradley was leaning on the island looking at his phone. "What are you doing?" you asked him.
He looked up at you and blushed a little bit. "Looking at crib bedding," he replied, and you practically tossed the plate at the sink before hurrying to his arms. "You feeling better?"
You nodded. "Crib bedding?" You were instantly melting into his touch.
"Yeah. I thought we could do airplanes?"
You whimpered against his muscular chest as he pocketed his phone. "Yes, Roo, we can do airplanes."
He rubbed your back as you tucked your hands up inside the golf shirt he had been wearing all day and let your fingers skim along his abs. "I'm just really excited about this," he said, voice full of emotion. "All the baby stuff. And a nursery. I was already thinking about finishing the attic, but now we should definitely do it so your parents can stay up there when they visit their grandchild. And we can get those convertible car seats for both Broncos. And we should probably start looking at daycares before the baby is born. Like the really good daycares, you know?"
"Oh fuck," you moaned as you looked up at him. "Bradley. You're incredible." You rubbed yourself against the fly of his white pants, and both of his eyebrows shot up.
"You want to?" he rasped, and you started pulling him toward the bedroom. "Last time we had sex, I hurt you, Sweetheart. I don't want to do that again."
"You won't," you promised as you tugged off his shirt. "You won't, because I know what's going on now."
He nodded and reached for his pants zipper as you quickly got yourself undressed and climbed into bed. Bradley watched you as he struggled with his shoes and socks before he could take his pants off, and the two of you shared a laugh. Then you bit your lip as his hard cock sprung free, practically vibrating with anticipation as he plopped down on the bed on his back.
"Come here," he whispered, but when you started to straddle his hips, he shook his head. "No. Up here." You leaned down to kiss him, and he welcomed you with a smile on his face, but after his tongue tangled with yours he broke the kiss. "I want you to sit on my face."
"Oh," you gasped as he reached for your butt and pulled you up until you were straddling his neck. Then his mouth was on you, and you were reaching for the headboard with one hand as your fingers grasped Bradley's curls with the other. He was so gentle, kissing up and down your most intimate parts before separating you with his nose. "Oh my god," you whined as he nudged your clit and looked up at you before starting to suck.
You were already pulsing around nothing, your fingernails scraping along his scalp as you rolled your hips gently against his mouth. Bradley licked you up and back before sucking gently again. The more aroused you got, the more your boobs hurt, but it wasn't as bad as last time. Not when his mouth was doing everything to make you wetter as he gently ran his hands along the backs of your thighs and your butt.
It would have come as no surprise to you if he told you that you were dripping wet now as you whispered, "I want your cock."
Bradley practically growled as he released you, his mouth glistening as he licked his lips. "Only if I'm not going to hurt you," he reiterated, voice deep and gravelly as you moved further down his body. "Stop me if I am."
You lifted his length and slipped him slowly inside you as he grunted and propped himself up on one hand. "Feels good," you promised him as you pushed and pushed until he was fully seated. His eyes were big pools as he hesitated a bit before kissing the valley between your breasts, his lips feather light. And that was exactly what you needed as he brought his other hand up to your belly.
"I love you," he whispered, letting his lips barely caress your nipple as you rocked slowly. "I love you so much, Sweetheart."
When his tongue grazed your breast, you whined for more, so he took your nipple between his lips. Instead of sucking, he let his tongue drift along lazily as you barely rocked your hips backward and forward, playing with his hair. "I love you, Daddy," you told him as you smirked.
He looked up at you as he released your breast and gently started to lick your left one as you cupped his cheek. Between kisses and soft nuzzles, Bradley poured his heart out to you as you enjoyed the feel of him, thick and delicious inside you.
"I'll take care of both of you. Always. I'm going to love you forever. I'll never stop. You're perfect. So fucking perfect. I can't get enough. I can't wait for everything."
You were barely moving on his cock when you came hard, your nipples wet to the cool air from his saliva and your fingers gripping his hair. "Bradley. Bradley. Bradley," you panted, squeezing him so tight as you pulsed around him.
He grunted, watching your face as he let himself come undone, too. He was still breathing heavily as he leaned back against the pillows, and you sank down on top of him. "I didn't hurt you?"
"Not at all," you promised. "My breasts are so tender, but that felt amazing."
"Got it," he whispered, nodding as he wrapped his arms around you. Very slowly you let your body press to his, careful to get into a position that didn't make you want to wince. "I can be extra gentle," he promised. "I can be anything you need. Anything either of you need."
A chill rippled through your body at his words, because you knew they were true. You leaned up and looked at his handsome face, cheeks flushed and lips softly parted. When you kissed him, he tasted like you. His softening cock was still inside you, but neither of you made any move to get cleaned up quite yet.
"You can't stop touching me, can you?"
"I can, Sweetheart. I just don't want to," he replied softly from where he had his face buried against your neck. "Hey, we should go to bed early since you've been so tired. Maybe the baby needs the extra sleep."
"Oh," you gasped, pulling back and examining his face. "Early." You figured you had to be between five and six weeks pregnant, but the last time you had your period, it had come early.
"What?"
Your mind was swirling as you did the math, and a smile broke out on your face.
"What?" he asked again, looking at you in puzzlement.
If your period had been early, then you were probably only still ovulating for the very first day that Bradley had been home from his special mission. You started laughing as you kissed him over and over again before rolling onto your back and cracking up.
"Tell me," he said, rolling to his side next to you as he started laughing, too.
"Oh my god, Roo," you wheezed. "I think you got me pregnant when you totaled my car."
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A BABY!! A BRADSHAW BUN IN THE OVEN! MOM AND DAD! Do you want to read more of the pregnancy adventure? I hope so. The fact that this has been planned out for the past year is just wild to me, and I'm so happy I got to share it with you. Thanks for everything @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 28
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Roommate trouble
summary: Your roommate Jesse and his girlfriend Dina fuck..a lot. loudly. When you finally get fed up after being woken up by their nightly “activities”, you go to Dina’s dorm for some peace and quiet only to run into her roommate, Ellie.
warnings: Smut (18+ PLZ), Language, modern!au, college!au, making out, thigh riding, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), dom!ellie, teasing, sub!reader, not edited well (I can’t think of anything else but lmk if you find something I forgot!)
wc: 2.7k
an: HEY YALL!! It's been a hot minute, sorry about that! The shotgun series is still ongoing but this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. I tried to activate my asks or whatever but I’m still kinda new to how tumblr works haha. I wanna meet people in the TLOU community and make friends so come say hi!! Anyhoo I hope you guys enjoy, have a great day I love you ♡ - Lottie
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You loved Jesse, you really did. Starting from move-in day, you guys did everything together, knew everything about each other, and he quickly became your absolute best friend. When he first introduced you to Dina, a girl he met during orientation, you were so happy he found someone as sweet and open as she was. She always greeted you with a hug and smile, even going as far as inviting you to hang out with her and Jesse on whatever date they had planned. Eventually, you and Dina also got very close, going on your own little “friend dates” as she called them where you would go to dinner or just watch a movie. You always joked that if she ever got tired of Jesse all she had to do was say the word and you would sweep her off her feet. As much as you loved them though, there was one thing about them that you couldn’t stand. They fucked like rabbits. Literally 24/7. You actually didn’t even know it was medically possible for two people to get it on this much. You come home from a class and boom- they’re in your dorm going at it. Trying to take a nap in your room? Think again, here comes Jesse and Dina tearing off each other's clothes. You tried to be cool about it at first because you didn’t want to seem bitchy, but you were quickly reaching your limit. And tonight was the night you lost it
-------
You had a long fucking day, filled with back-to-back classes that seemed to last an eternity and mountains of homework that took you hours in the library to complete. Practically as soon as you got to your dorm and your head hit the pillow you passed out, which is probably why you didn't hear Jesse and Dina come home. What you did hear, however, was a weird grating creaking noise that roused you from sleep. Blinking the blurriness from your eyes, you start to come to your surroundings. The creaking started to get louder and as you become more and more awake, you begin to notice soft moans and grunts coming from the direction of the creaking... - NO. FUCKING. WAY.
“You little fuck gremlins, you’re unbelievable!!!” You exclaim, hucking your pillow in their general direction. The sound of a startled grunt and scrambling from Jesse’s bed fills your ears as they try to cover themselves up, and finally, you turn your bedside lamp on to glare at them. Both of them sit on his bed, messily wrapped in blankets with a light pink dusting on their cheeks, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. At least Dina looks apologetic, Jesse just looks annoyed you interrupted them.
“I’m so sorry, I-” Dina starts apologizing, but you hold up your hand to stop her.
“Jesse, you're like a brother to me and I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now. Like, just give me a heads up when you two are gonna fuck and I’ll leave, this is traumatizing.” Jesse slightly rolls his eyes but nods, and you can tell he does actually feel bad that they woke you. “and Dina, just give me a chance I’d treat you so right, just say the word. You’ve done nothing wrong ever, and I love you.”
Jesse shakes his head, throwing his hands up indignantly “Why do I get scolded like a toddler and Dina gets hit on?!? Where’s the justice?”. You shut him up with a glare, then focus back on Dina.
“Dina, where is your dorm and would your roommate mind me staying there? Y’all can finish what you started but I’m getting tf up outta here.” After getting the building name and room number, you quickly pack a small go bag with essentials, wrap a blanket over your shoulders, and begin to trudge across campus to Dina’s building. About halfway there you think about how crazy you’re going to look to her roommate, a girl you’ve never met before but Dina had mentioned in passing a few times. The only thing you knew about her was that her name was Ellie and she was an astronomy major. Fuck, what were you even going to say when you got there?? Hey! Our roommates were having a fuck fest in my room, mind if we have a sleepover? You spent the rest of the walk overthinking and trying to come up with something to say when you saw her until eventually, you found yourself on their floor. Wandering down the hallway, you finally stumble on a light wooden door that was decorated with colorful bits of paper cut into the shape of mushrooms that held both Dina and Ellie’s names. Keeping in mind the mini script you made of what to say when you were walking over, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to knock on the door.
After a moment of silence, clattering and distant swearing come from the other side of the door before it swings open. Your mouth goes dry, all the words you had rehearsed flying out the window as you take in Ellie for the first time. Her short auburn hair falls messily around her freckled face and as she lifts her hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, you catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her forearm. Wearing just a white cotton tank top and black boxers, it was clear that she had been sleeping peacefully before your rude awakening. As you continue to check her out, you’re startled when her voice cuts through the quiet of the hallway.
“Dude, I was sleeping. The fuck do you want?” Ellie’s voice is still thick with sleep as her gaze falls on you. Oh shit, she must think you’re so creepy, just some rando waking her up in the middle of the night and then staring at her. You hastily blurt out your name trying to seem like less of a weirdo in front of Dina’s smoking-hot roommate
“Dina and Jesse woke me up with their... sex stuff? And they go at it all the time and I was kinda fed up so I asked Dina if I could sleep in her bed for tonight and she said yes so... now I'm here and-” Your awkward rambling was cut short by Ellie bursting out laughing, doubling over to clutch her stomach.
“No way dude that's fucking heinous! You poor thing get in here.” With that, Ellie grabs your arm and pulls you into the room, her hand finding the small of your back as she guides you in. “Welcome to our humble abode, that's Dina’s side so you can just dump your shit over there, and that's her bed.” She says, gesturing to the left side of the room. Shoving your backpack to the ground, you make your way to Dina’s bed, observing the room as you go. Ellie’s side is filled with drawings and posters, as well as a guitar that leans up against her bed rail. Pictures also litter the walls, some of her and Dina, some of her other friends, and a few of her with an older man you assume is her dad. Suddenly feeling the night catch up to you, a huge yawn leaves your lips and you crawl into Dina’s bed, letting your eyes fall closed.
“It's nice to finally meet you, Dina talks about you all the time. She didn’t tell me you were pretty though”. Your eyes fly open and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at the compliment.
“Dina talks about you too. It's weird we’ve never met before, Dina always said I would like you” You reply, rolling over to face her to see that she was already looking at you.
“Listen any time those two are annoying you, come over here. You’re always welcome” she tells you, a wide smile stretching across her face
“Thanks, Ellie”
“No problem pretty girl”
-------
“Ellie they’re doing it again!! They were literally eye fucking all over the room so I made my escape before my vision got assaulted. Again.” You yell, bursting into Ellie's room without so much as a knock. On that first night you stayed in Dina’s dorm, the two of you talked for hours, only stopping once daylight began to leak through the curtains on the windows. She talked about her adopted dad, Joel, what she wanted to do with her life, and her love of dinosaurs. With each word, you found yourself more and more enamored with her. You’d never met anyone like Ellie and from that day on you guys were close friends. Well... you don’t know if friends is the way to describe it. Ellie was almost always touching you, from wrapping an arm around your waist when you were walking together to pulling you down onto her lab when there was not enough room on the couch. At parties, she’d keep close to you, warding off creepy men with a snarl and her arm around your shoulders. You’d both shared countless kisses, some light and playful, others deep and passionate. There was something unspoken between the two of you, you saw it in the way she looked at you, the way she was protective over you like no one else in your life has ever been. You’d never labeled what you and Ellie had, too scared that if you talked about it, she’d get so weirded out by you reading too much into it that she would leave.
“I keep telling you babe, set boundaries with them. As much as I love having your gorgeous face here, you gotta tell them when you need the room.”
That was the other thing, the nicknames she gave you. You don’t think Ellie has called you by your name once since the night you met. It's always pretty girl, gorgeous, or your personal favorite, babe. Wandering over to where Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, tuning her guitar, you flop face down next to her. Hearing her place the guitar down with a dramatic sigh, you feel Ellie’s body moving toward where you lay on the bed. Rough hands grasp your waist, rolling you until you’re laying on your back. Ellie kneels over you, one hand stroking the skin of your waist while the other glides up the side of your body to brush your hair out of your eyes.
“I’ll beat the shit out of Jesse, will that help?” She offers, only half joking, earning a small giggle from you as she smiles.
“My hero” You joke, hand rising to cup the side of her face and squeeze the flesh there. “You don’t have to, I just have to stop being a pussy and tell them. Maybe we can make a schedule or something, I don't know.”
“Oo a fucking schedule, how romantic. I’m sure they’ll love that” She teases and you shove her away from you playfully. Before you can fully shove her away, she grips your arm, using the momentum to pull you onto her lap. Her back leans against the wall and she picks you up slightly by your hips so that she can slide her thigh between your legs.
“Shut up I’m trying okay?” You giggle raising your hand to push her once again. This time though, she catches it and laces your fingers together. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath from being WWE slammed into a cuddle session and you could have sworn you catch Ellie’s eyes flutter between your own and your chest. Did you wear a low-cut tank top and booty shorts on purpose?... maybe. Was it working? Hell yes.
When Ellie finally looks up from your chest, you raise an eyebrow mockingly at her and her face immediately flushes a dark red. You laugh as she averts her gaze and clears her throat, leaning down to rest your head in the crook of her neck. Her hands migrate to rub your back, moving the fabric of your shirt to rub soothing circles on your soft skin. From her neck you try to sneak a look at her face, only to find that her eyes are already locked on you. With a small smile, you once again bring your hand up to cup her face, this time just caressing the skin there instead of pinching. Ellie removes her hands from your back and uses them to grab the hair at the base of your neck, bringing your head up to face her. After only a brief look from your eyes to your lips, Ellie surges forward and meets your lips in a searing kiss.
She bites down on your lower lip playfully, taking advantage of the small gasp you let out to explore your mouth. Without realizing it, you begin to grind on Ellie’s thigh, desperate for friction. You only register you’re doing it when Ellie brings her hand down to grope your ass, forcing you further down on her thigh and quickening your pace. You break the kiss with a soft moan, getting lost in the pleasure until suddenly you find yourself on your back. Ellie slots her body fully over yours, eyeing you up and down with flush cheeks.
“Fuck, babe you’re so fucking beautiful.” She says, tracing her hand along the waistband of your shorts, toying with the fabric.
“Please Ellie” You whimper, practically writhing under her despite the fact that she's barely done anything yet
“Please what pretty girl? Use your words.”
“Touch me, Ellie, please! I-I need you!” You cry out and with a smug smirk, she slides her fingers under your waistband and between your folds
“It's okay baby shh, I got you. Fuck you’re so wet, is all this for me, gorgeous?” All you can do is nod pitifully as her fingers sink into you, a harsh moan tearing from your lips. Her fingers slide easily in and out, your slick walls clenching around her as her face moves to suck marks onto your neck. The pleasure is too much, clenching your eyes shut all you can focus on is the rough pounding of her fingers within you.
“Fuck, Ellie.. feels so good f-fuck” You incoherently babble as she curls her fingers, hitting your sweet spot and making your vision go dark. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave, your whole body clenching and shaking around Ellie’s fingers as she praises you.
“That's it pretty, you did so good for me. You’re so fucking hot, babe.” Ellie removes her fingers and immediately puts them in her mouth, sucking off your slick with a contented moan. “Fucking delicious, will you let me taste more baby? Please?”. Not finding yourself able to speak yet, all you can do is nod and Ellie wastes no time. Clambering off the bed, Ellie grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge, kneeling before you now bare core. Throwing your legs over her shoulders, Ellie dives in, attaching her lips to your swollen clit with a harsh suck. You loudly cry out, hands flying to the back of her head as her tongue begins to rapidly lick and suck all over. You feel your orgasm approaching more quickly than before and you unconsciously begin to grind down on Ellie's face to chase your release. However, your trance is interrupted by a loud shriek
“OH MY GOD! What the fuck guys, what are you doing?!?!” Dina yells from the now open door, shielding her eyes with her hand. You scramble to cover yourself with Ellie's comforter as the woman herself lets out an annoyed groan.
“Is this what it feels like!?! Jesus, it's like walking in on your parents. I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later!” Dina rushes out and slams the door behind her, leaving you and Ellie alone once again. After a moment of silence, Ellie starts to laugh
“Well, at least she knows what it's like now. I doubt they’ll be causing you problems again.” She says between her giggles, grabbing a pair of her boxers to dress you in. You shake off your embarrassment and begin to laugh as well, taking Ellie's hand and tugging her into bed with you. As Ellie wraps you in her arms, you can’t help but think you might have to thank Jesse and Dina for being such sex maniacs.
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an: I love you guys so much, thank you for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my previous posts. Let me know if you guys can access my asks, I wanna get to know yall!! this is my first time writing smut, yall can probably tell LMAO but all feedback is appreciated ☺︎
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader smut#college!ellie williams#modern!ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fanfic
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The ties that bind
Pairing- Dave York x f!reader x Frankie Morales
Series Summary-Dave is a private investigator who tracks down soulmates. He's tasked to find Frankie's, but what happens when he finds you and wants you all to himself?
CW-18+,MDNI, NSFW, Smut,Fluff, shameless flirting, sexual tension, MMF dynamics, MM flirting, oral (f) receiving, unprotected piv, cream pie, aftercare
WC-5.9k
A/N- I’m sorry I made you guys wait so long for this but I promise it was worth it. We just have a few chapters left before I say goodbye to these three and I’m glad they finally figured it out.
[Main Masterlist][Series Masterlist]
Not beta read
Chapter VI
“I know you’ve explained it already but repeat it back to me.” You bite your fingernails as you pace in front of the couch.
“Honey I can explain it to you a thousand times, you’re still going to have to hear it from them.” Alicia says after her attempt at calming you down. The story Santi told her sounded so far-fetched you didn’t believe it at first and then you needed to hear it again to be sure.
“I just find it hard to believe they would go through such great lengths for me.” You narrowly miss the pillow she throws at your head from her spot on the couch.
“I told you about talking down on yourself.” She points a finger at you. “You’re a fucking catch and you have the upper hand so talk to them and see where it goes.”
****
It sounds easy enough but you weren’t even sure where to begin. You’re just glad your current predicament didn’t seem to be affecting Alicia and Santiago’s relationship. You loved seeing her so happy and told her not to worry about you. You had plenty of time to think since you spent most nights alone while he whisked her off on dates.
You were taking your sweet time responding to Dave and Frankie wanting them to squirm a little after what they put you through. You did appreciate their persistence. The daily good morning texts even with no response from you. Flowers overflowing your apartment and the record store. Your boss had stopped by on a rare occasion and raved about how you’d been decorating the place. You wanted to turn down the money he left knowing how expensive flowers were and you didn’t have it in you to even begin to explain where they all came from.
After a week and a half they were slowly wearing you down. Frankie sent you his attempt at a selfie while he was in the helicopter in his aviators. He cut off half his face but it still had you weak in the knees.
Frankie: image
Frankie: just in case you forgot what i look like
You wanted to respond so badly but you opted to just like the photo.
Dave:image
Dave: thinking of you
The extreme close up of the hummingbird practically brought tears to your eyes, but that could also be your hormones. You can see the vibrant colors on its back and the blur of its wings as it feeds from a petunia in the park.
It was inevitable that you were going to cave, but you wanted it to be on your terms. Over the course of the next week you spoke to both of them separately. You called them and heard both of their stories…the truth this time. As bizarre as the whole thing sounded you were relieved when their explanation matched up and you could tell they were being genuine. You’ve never heard two men apologize so much in your life.
Dave had to return home for a few days and Frankie was busy with work so you decided to meet at the end of the week to all talk in person about what you were going to do going forward.
****
“You’re gonna be late if you keep fussing with it.” Alicia says perched on your dresser as you fidget with the little black dress she let you borrow. As uncomfortable as it was in the beginning, wearing her clothes always brought out another side of you.
“I’m just taking a page out of your book.” You point at her in the mirror. “Fashionably late…plus I want them to squirm a little.”
She stares at you with an incredulous look on her face. “What have I done to you?”
In all honesty she’s given you a boost of confidence that you sorely needed over the years of your friendship. You’ve learned to ask for the things you want and not take no for an answer. You’d spent years being told you weren’t good enough or didn’t fit the part by your step mom and your ex and ultimately the rejection from your dad had you really believing those things were true.
Anyone else may have grown tired of constantly reminding you that you deserve to take up space. She never did and would be there every step of the way to prove it to you time and time again.
You suppose that’s why she’s such a good fit for Santi. He needed someone to be his match, to challenge him when no one else would. To show him what it was like to laugh again and enjoy the little things.
You put the finishing touches on your makeup as she hops down from the dresser. “You call me either way.”
“Of course.” You wave your phone in front of her face as she crosses her arms.
“Just know I’m extremely jealous of you right now.” She trails behind you as you make your way to the front door a little wobbly in your heels.
“Nothing to be jealous of…this could all crash and burn in my face.” A sudden wave of fear waves over you at the prospect but you shove that down.
“I highly doubt that hon.” She spins you once and places a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She’s leaning precariously in the doorway as you step out into the hallway.
“Would you do this?” You ask sheepishly.
“In a heartbeat.” The door shuts in your face and you’re left in the quiet. Only the sound of your heels clicking on the ground echo as you head to the elevator.
****
“If you’re gonna keep fussing with your tie you might as well not wear one.” Dave says as Frankie pulls uncomfortably at the collar of his dress shirt.
They’re sitting in the lounge where you all agreed to meet to discuss things and Frankie hasn’t been this nervous since his pilots exam. Dave is the picture of calm as he relaxes back in the blue crushed velvet seat.
“Where am I gonna put it?” Frankie aggressively rips the tie from his neck.
“Put it in your pocket or something.” Dave bites out as he leans forward to take a sip of his drink.
The two of them probably look ridiculous sitting here bickering. It’s been an uncomfortable few minutes since they finished their conversation about how the night could go.
Frankie was preparing for you to tell him that you would need to think things over for awhile since they lied to you initially and he didn’t come to you genuinely and say who he was from the beginning.
Dave was prepared for you to tell him that you were obviously going to choose your soulmate and that he was a creep for leading you on and basically stalking you in the process. He seems calm on the outside but inside he’s cursing the thought of returning to his lonely life of helping others find what he so desperately missed.
Frankie leans forward as he glances at his watch. “We said seven right? It’s been a little while.” He wrings his hands together nervously. “What if she doesn’t show?”
Dave swirls the glass in his hand as he looks over at Frankie. “Relax…she’ll be here.”
They both turn their heads as the sound of heels on marble floors sound in the room.
****
It’s serendipitous walking into the hotel lounge where weeks ago you and Alicia tried and failed at finding love. The very same lounge where you both decided that this was it and you were probably going to end up marrying each other and riding off into the sunset.
You see them before they see you.
Dave is sitting back in the chair, legs spread wide with a glass of amber liquid twirling in his hand. He’s wearing a fitted black suit with his hair combed back. Frankie looks about as nervous as you feel as he leans forward muttering something to Dave. You can’t hear his reply but he looks unbothered. He’s ditched his signature cap and his loose brown curls are styled somewhat to frame his face. He’s got on black slacks and his white dress shirt is unbuttoned a little so you can see a sliver of his tan chest peeking out. If you were a weaker woman you’d forgo any conversation and ask for Dave’s room key right now.
It’s the click.click.click of your heels that brings their attention to you as you approach the table.
****
“Holy shit.” Dave speaks first and for all his practiced effort to keep it cool his resolve quickly crumbles as he sees you approach wearing something entirely not you but such a welcome surprise.
He would tell Frankie to close his mouth if his wasn’t hanging agape at the short silk, black dress. The barely there straps that he could break with his teeth and the front plunging low enough to see your sternum.
You’re standing there expectantly and he quickly realizes neither have them have spoken a word since you waltzed up to them.
Just as Frankie is about to speak a waiter appears at your side. “Excuse me miss, would you like something to drink?” His eyes linger over you a second too long Dave’s nostrils flare in annoyance.
“Gin and tonic with lime please.” You say politely as you sit in the open seat in front of them. Doing your best to cross your ankles to not give them a view you’re not ready for. The dress rides up your thighs as you sit on the soft velvet seat and Frankie’s eyes flit briefly to them as he clears his throat and adjusts in his seat.
You’ve barely said a word and you’ve got both men wrapped around your finger. You’re completely unaware of the predicament you’ve been in since your little stunt at the country bar and this is only making it worse.
“So I suppose you both have some things to say before I tell you my thoughts.” There’s a slight air of confidence to your tone as you survey both men.
Frankie glances at Dave before clearing his throat. “Listen, I'm sure you’re sick of hearing our apologies.” You nod once before letting him continue. “I still have to say I’m sorry for lying to you. I wrongly assumed you would just toss Dave aside.”
“Thanks.” Dave responds dryly and you have to suppress your laugh. It’s obvious they’ve formed some sort of connection that hopefully plays into your favor.
The waiter returns with your drink trying to gauge whatever interaction is playing out in front of him. You all awkwardly wait until he’s out of ear shot to continue.
“Anyways…everything else I told you was the truth. Including the fact that I think I’m falling in love with you.” The last part is rushed out as your eyes go wide. A small part of you thought you might be moving too fast, but the feelings you were developing for both of them were hard to deny.
Frankie wishes the floor would swallow him up whole right now. His practiced speech went out the window when he saw you walk in the room.
You take a sip of your drink and direct your attention to Dave.
“I don’t regret what I did.” Dave states matter of factly as Frankie brings his head up from staring at the floor. Of all the things you expected him to say it certainly wasn’t that. “If I could do it all over again the only thing I would do differently is tell you who I was as soon as Frankie met you.” His voice is low as he leans in a little closer. “Even if you never want to speak to me again, I’m glad I did all those things for you and I never lied when I said I care about you a lot. So much that it scares me.”
You finish the rest of your drink and sit back in your seat. This is really starting to feel like an episode of the bachelor and if they don’t accept your proposal you suppose more than one person is going to get hurt.
“Well…” You fidget with your hands momentarily as your voice shakes a little. “I appreciate your honesty…even if it’s a little late. I’m relieved to know that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.”
Frankie feels like he can breathe a sigh of relief that he didn’t just make a complete fool of himself.
“I’m not choosing.” You say with finality and Dave raises an eyebrow at you from across the table. “I don’t think I should have to after what you two put me through. So if you want out, now is your chance.”
****
You’re all three or four drinks deep, now the only ones in the hotel lounge. You’ve been swapping horrible dating stories and they’ve been swapping some more classified stories that you don’t care to remember for fear of your personal safety. These two unassuming and charming men have seen some things in their lifetime that you would never have imagined. It’s thrilling in a way to know how dangerous they are but when it comes to you they’re inculpable.
Neither one budged when you told them you weren’t going to choose and now that you’re sitting here a little more comfortable sharing the loveseat with Frankie as Dave relaxes back in the chair next to you it almost seems like this is how it was supposed to be.
Frankie’s strong hands rub small circles along the exposed part of your thigh. “So he calls you hummingbird?”
“That was our secret.” You say playfully to Dave as he brushes his fingers along your knuckles.
“Well, you share the tattoo with Francisco so I figured I should tell him.” He turns your hand over in his tracing the lines of the tattoo on your wrist.
“You don’t have to call me Francisco.” Frankie’s breath is hot on your neck as he’s moved a little closer to you.
“What if I want to?” Dave’s voice is anything but innocent as you watch a moment pass between him and Frankie.
This could work.
Frankie leans in whispering something as his lips brush your ear. He has to resist biting it as he sees the goosebumps raise on your skin at the close contact. Something in the air has shifted throughout the night and he’s done trying to overthink it.
“Who’s telling secrets now.” Dave grabs your foot that was trailing up his leg, your heels have been long discarded. His hands start to kneed and rub and you have to stifle a moan at how good it feels.
“I was just telling her what hummingbird means in Spanish…so we can have our own little name.” Frankie’s feeling bold as he kisses your neck. “Isn’t that right?”
You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the sensation of both of their hands on you but a pleasant buzz is running through your body.
A throat clears behind you and you lean your head back against Frankie as you lock eyes with the waiter. He looks a little annoyed but straightens up Dave and Frankie put their attention on him.
“The lounge is closing for the night so-“
“Charge it to my room please. Dave York, Capri Penthouse suite.” Dave cuts him off and he’s gone before he could finish his sentence.
It’s quiet for a moment as you wait to see who’s going to speak first. You definitely don’t want the night to end yet but you have no idea where their heads are at. You exhale and look them dead in the eyes before you lose the courage to say what you’ve been wanting since they both walked into your lives.
“I want you both.” They nod at each other but you’re certain they don’t interpret your true meaning.
“We’re yours.” Dave says genuinely as he looks at Frankie.
“Tonight.” It’s not a question, more of a statement as they both look at you wide eyed. Frankie tenses behind you and Dave’s shocked expression has you a little worried. It’s bold and so unlike you, you’re sick of doing the predictable thing. You want them and they clearly want you so these are your terms.
Dave slides forward in his chair. “You’ve been drinking…” he whispers as if you’re not the only ones left in the lounge. “We don’t want to take advantage.” He emphasizes we….assuming Frankie feels the same and he nods at him.
“We’ve all been drinking… and I made up my mind last night.” You gather your purse in your hand and start to stand. “Unless you don’t want to and we can discuss this at a later…”
“No.” “No.” You have to chuckle at their sudden enthusiasm.
Frankie’s mind already starts to wander to all the things they could do to you. Things they could show you. All the ways he could make you come apart. Two hands are better than one and four hands….
It’s a little shocking to Dave that this scenario had never crossed his mind but it’s clear neither of them were about to let this opportunity pass them by, if even for one night.
“I’ll give you two a moment to talk, I need to make a phone call.” You walk just out of ear shot to call Alicia who is no doubt picking up on the first ring.
****
“I didn’t bring a change of clothes.” You can hear her sigh and probably shaking her head on the other end of the line.
“Clothes!…that’s what you’re worried about right now? I will bring you a change of clothes in the morning if you manage to pull this off.”
You’re standing at the edge of the lounge door, not wanting to turn around and see whatever heated conversation could be going on behind you.
“I’m mostly stalling, and mentally preparing myself to call a ride home in case they think this is crazy.” This is crazy right, how was this the next logical step in your brain. It all sounded right bouncing around in your head throughout the week and now your nerves seem to be getting the best of you.
“Deep breaths…I doubt anyone with two eyes would turn down and offer like this.” Alicia mumbles something incoherent on the other end but you can take a guess as to what she may have said.
You duck your head as some loud guests enter the lobby heading back to their room after a night on the town. You don’t know why you’re shying away, it’s not as if they could possibly know what’s going on behind you.
****
“You said this would go one of two ways.” Frankie says as he fidgets with the label on his empty beer.
“I know what I said…it’s just of course I didn’t expect…do you not want-“ Dave’s brief moment of clarity cuts through the sexual tension. Not even realizing what he’s asking of Frankie who’s already given up so much.
“No, of course I want this.” His voice is sure and it’s the first time he actually says out loud the thing he’s been thinking since that first day in the coffee shop when he met Dave. Nothing in his wildest dreams would’ve imagined him here in this exact scenario.
They’re both quiet for a moment, a little hesitant after admitting something that most men wouldn’t be brave enough to counter. It feels like that moment when you’re lucid and you don’t want to wake up because the dream is just too good. The lights in the lounge are perfectly dim casting a shadow along the walls. You’re standing there against the doorway, looking adorable and exposed in your shirt black dress and your heels haphazardly buckled because you didn’t want to walk barefoot away from the proposition you just dropped in their waiting laps.
“Have you ever?” Dave asks timidly no ridicule evident in his tone.
“Yes, but I didn’t care about them this way.” Once or twice when he was stationed overseas because Pope wrangled him into it, long before he was married. “I doubt she ever has.”
Dave surveys you for a moment as you chance a look over your shoulder. “There’s no need to rush this, if this isn’t going to be the only time. I think it’s fair if you take the lead.”
Frankie should be nervous or anxious at the prospect of your first time together being watched by Dave. There’s something else drumming below the surface as his voyeuristic tendencies start to rear their head. Frankie adjusts himself trying to hide his excitement as Dave’s eyes linger too long on him.
****
You’re glad you walked away to give you and them a moment to collect yourselves. You didn’t want to be present for any uncomfortable conversation if either of them decided this was just too much.
You can see it in their eyes as you approach, it’s clear what decision they’ve made.
“So boys…are we doing this?”
Frankie stands and takes your hand in his as Dave slides the room key out of his pocket. “Baby…we’re all yours.”
****
“You wore this to talk?” Dave’s fingers lift the strap of your lace bra as he slides down, brushing his thumb across your nipple through the soft fabric.
“What can I say? I like to be prepared.” You bite your lip as small goosebumps raise across your skin.
Frankie has to shake his head at the sentiment. The act you put on is not as innocent as he previously thought. Maybe your friend gave you a little push in the right direction.
He’ll have to thank her later when she doesn’t want to kill him.
Both of them standing in front of you, patiently waiting for your next move has you feeling a little exposed.
Dave can sense some hesitation from you, you’re staring anywhere but at them as your hand covers your stomach.
His hand cups your face, as he brushes his thumb across your jaw. “We don’t have to do this hummingbird.” You can see it in his eyes, how deeply he cares for you in that moment.
“No, I want to…it’s just. I’ve never done this before.” You gesture between the two men and laugh a little.
They both hold such serious faces then, not wanting to make a joke of your vulnerability. You are opening this part of yourself to both of them.
Dave leans in, his lips brushing yours as you melt into the kiss. He turns your jaw slightly and Frankie is at your side, his large palm replacing yours across your stomach and then caressing your hip.
His forehead meets yours for a moment, just breathing you in before he dives in for a kiss. It’s like shockwaves whenever you touch him, the feeling skates down your spine into your toes and you’re leaning into his touch.
Dave presses you impossibly closer, the growing bulge in his pants pressed against your back and the added pressure of his hand kneading your breast. You reach your hand back, reveling in the way Dave moans into your ear as you palm his cock through his jeans. The other hand tangled in Frankie’s hair as he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth.
“We’re gonna take real good care of you baby, aren’t we Dave?” His breath ghosts over your lips in a whisper.
Dave just hums in response, he’s letting Frankie take the control. He wants him to have this with you. He’s already been given the world, now's not the time to get greedy.
“Lay down on the bed.” Frankie hooks his finger around you, making quick work of your bra before he lets you go.
You haven’t been this exposed for anyone since your ex and he used to look at you in disgust, all the tattoos that weren’t his.
They’re staring at you now like a painting in a museum. It almost takes your breath away at the thought of him finally seeing his artwork adorned on the body meant solely for him.
“Jesus…you’re beautiful.” Frankie half whispers to himself as you sit on the edge of the bed, gesturing to their clothes.
They almost mirror each other as they strip their dress shirts and slacks. You’re practically salivating at the two of them stripped down to their matching black boxers and tan bodies. Dave looks over to Frankie and whistles and you can see the red flush creep up his neck. It’s a relief to know you weren’t the only one this nervous.
Frankie nods his head and Dave takes the spot behind you against the pillows. He crooks a finger at you to join him and you crawl over settling in the spot between his legs. You lay your body back against him and you can feel his hard cock through his boxers as he adjusts to get you more comfortable.
“We’ll go slow…this time.” Frankie says as he crawls on the bed, fitting his broad shoulders between your legs. His fingers hook into the lace of your panties as he slowly slides them down your legs. His eyes are dark as he sets them on his prize and you swear you see him lick his lips.
Your ex would go down on you occasionally but you could tell he was unsure of himself and so you never really could enjoy it.
Frankie takes his time as he kisses at your stomach and nips at your thigh. Dave’s strong hands knead your breast and you giggle a little as he whispers in your ear that he knows you’re ticklish. The laughter dies in your throat as Frankie licks a stripe through your slit. His groan reverberates through you as you let out a soft whimper. Your senses are on overdrive as Dave’s hands work your body and Frankie’s mouth devours you whole.
Frankie doesn’t care that he has to share with the way you’re looking at him and the sweet noises you’re making he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. You cry out his name as your hands tug on his curls. He’ll do anything to have you say his name a thousand times over while his face is buried between your thighs. “Fuck…Frankie I’m gonna come.” You pant out between breaths.
“Come for me hermosa, I want to hear you.” He dips two fingers into your pussy as his tongue works circles around your clit.
Dave’s not sure how he thought tonight would go. He hoped you would forgive them both and maybe find a way for everyone to get what they want. He didn’t expect to have you splayed out in front of him while Frankie takes you apart.
He’s always thought himself confident in the bedroom but he may have to ask Frankie what exactly he’s doing to elicit these noises. His cock twitches at every moan and whimper as you squirm against him.
You arch your back into him and whine, he can tell you’re close the way your whole body shakes.
“I’ve got you baby, you can let go.”
It has to be Dave in your ear because Frankie hasn’t come up for air. You can feel the coil tighten inside as your fingers grip his hair. He growls as you pull him closer.
He’s missed this feeling, the craving for someone so bad you can feel it in your gut.
He can taste it on his tongue, the moment you break and cry out his name. Your voice is hoarse and he’s barely had his fill of you.
He looks up from between your thighs and locks eyes with Dave. Your chest is heaving as he holds you close trying to calm your breathing. there isn’t an ounce of regret in the way he’s looking at you both. Like this is exactly what’s been missing from his life.
Frankie rubs his hands down your body, slowly bringing you back to him. He kisses that crease of soft skin before he raises up and captures your lips in his, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. “Don’t you taste so good?” He rasps against your lips.
“Mhm.” Is all you can manage as Frankie squeezes your thigh, dimpling your skin between his fingers.
“I think Dave wants a taste.” Frankie nudges you back as Dave moves down beside you.
You can feel Frankie take the spot on the other side as Dave takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger. Gently holding you there while you catch your breath. When he presses his lips to yours it’s softer than you would imagine. The hard set line of his jaw and his intense stare don’t let on to the tender touch of his hand.
His hand drifts from your chin to cup the back of your head further deepening the kiss as you both moan at the sensation. He’s achingly hard against your stomach as he rolls his hips into you, pulling you impossibly closer.
You reach down and palm him through his boxers but he carefully grabs your hand pulling it up to his lips, placing a kiss to your palm. “Not tonight hummingbird.” You tense up at the slight rejection but he’s quick to assure you. “You’ve already made me the happiest man alive, I can be patient and wait my turn.” He looks over your shoulder to Frankie with some unspoken words as they effortlessly roll you to face him.
Frankie’s hair is a wild mess as you reach over and run your fingers through it. “Sorry about this.”
Dave laughs as he presses his lips to your shoulder. “I don’t know, I kinda like it.”
If there was a competition on who could make Frankie blush, Dave would be winning by a landslide.
Frankie suddenly looks a little shy. “We can stop now, if you want too.”
“No Frankie…I need you.” You surge forward and kiss him as you feel two fingers dip into your entrance. A small gasp leaves your lips as Dave works your open. Frankie’s pulling his boxers down in one swift movement as you try not to balk at the sheer size of him.
“I’m gonna go slow okay?” His breath fans across your face as you nod. Dave groans behind you as he pulls his fingers out dragging them slowly up and circling your clit. You whine and drop your head back on his shoulder as he lifts your leg over Frankie’s hip.
You only let the two of them talk briefly about tonight and yet it’s like they’ve mapped it out for weeks. They have the blueprint to your body’s every need and they work together like they’ve studied you for years. You’re not afraid to call it what it is anymore…it feels even more than love to you the way you all fit within each other. Dave at your back and Frankie at your front, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes like you’re the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.
Frankie reaches between you to grip his cock, sliding the tip between your lips as you shudder. He pushes in slowly, experimentally rolling his hips as you grip his shoulders. Dave is nearly silent behind you as he places his hand along your abdomen, feeling the way you breathe. You grit your teeth at the slight pain that gives way to pleasure as he buries himself to the hilt. You wait there a moment, your foreheads pressed together as he tries to catch his breath.
“Frankie please…” A stray tear rolls down your face as the sensation takes over your body. The feeling of Frankie’s cock inside you has you clenching around him.
“Fuck me…” Frankie hisses and Dave has to chuckle at the sentiment of you fucking him. “You’re so tight baby.”
Frankie starts a slow agonizing pace and you can feel every ridge and vein as he drags his cock in and out, his eyes flit down to where you’re connected so he can watch the way your pussy takes him so well. He’s not going to last the way you feel right now and the way Dave’s looking at him. You bury your head into his neck, crying out his name as he picks up the pace, his grip tightens on your hips as Dave squeezes your stomach making Frankie jerk his head up to him.
He can feel him and he knows it, your legs pull him in further as you match his thrusts and he finally locks eyes with Dave. He can see it in his eyes and he hopes he’s not wrong as Frankie leans in kissing him feverishly. He’s dizzy with the scent of you and Dave on his tongue.
“Oh fuck Frankie.” You’re shaking as you whine into his neck.
“You gonna come for me?” Dave’s voice cuts through the moans and sharp breaths and Frankie doesn’t know who he means but he’s dangerously close.
Dave’s hand trails down from your stomach to rub your clit, his hand is pressed between your bodies and Frankie bites down on his lip to keep from coming right then, he wants to wait for you. He has too.
It’s delirium having them all over you, inside you. You open your mouth as a silent scream leaves it, Frankie’s lips are on yours breathing it in as you come apart in his arms. You can feel his hips stuttering as Dave grips his arm. “Mierda, díme.”
“English Francisco.” Dave grits out behind you.
“Come inside me please…” Frankie groans as he pulses hot ropes of cum inside your pussy as you flutter with the aftershocks. You can feel a warm wet spot on your back as you cling to Frankie, his cock still pulsing inside you as you whimper at the overstimulation.
It takes you all a minute to come down from your high and Dave rolls out of the king size bed to the en-suite bathroom. Frankie’s kissing your sweat soaked forehead as you rub circles on his back, still tangled up in him.
“Okay lovebirds, I need to clean you up.” Dave says as he dips onto the side of the bed, wiping your back carefully with a warm washcloth. You glance at him over your shoulder as he blushes. “Not a word.” You laugh and mock zipping your lips.
There’s a moment after he’s done where you’re unsure where to go from here. You can tell Frankie feels the same as he sits on the edge of the bed.
Dave clears his throat as he takes his spot on the other side of you. “Generally speaking people sleep under the covers.” He pulls them back as you and Frankie deflate, his relieved smile etched across his face. It feels right between them, maybe a little hot at the moment but you know it’s where you’re supposed to be.
You nestle in between the two of them as your eyes start to drift off to sleep.
“Hermosa?” Frankie’s sleepy voice sounds from behind you. “You speak Spanish?”
“In a pinch.”
Dave snorts into the pillow as you both burst out into laughter. Ya this feels right
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can a girl get some Hawthorne brother bonding as children hcs? <3
hawthorne brother bonding head canons
omg yessssss! i love the four brothers' dynamic. they're so fucking amazing (and hot). hope you like them<3.
nash would read them bedtime stories. they'd join him in his room, and they would take turns choosing which book nash would read to them
xander used to get all of them to join him in the pool bc he absolutely loved blowing bubbles in the water but didn't want to be alone.
this one happens when they're older but i found it funny so - xander, grayson, and nash would all drag jamie up to his room when he passed out form drinking too much.
they would tease xander about his school crushes (he was once crushing on the girl bc she had blown him a kiss, and he didn't stop talking about for the next week)
xander would find stray cats/dogs and give them to his brothers
grayson started learning how to cook at like 8, but he was really bad at it. his brothers used to pretend the food was delicious when in reality in tasted like dog shit (jamie didn't lie though, grayson appreciated it and became better bc of it)
xander had an obsession with whales and wanted his walls filled with them. nash, grayson, and jamie, got xander out of his room, and painted little whales on his walls (they're all great painters bc yk hawthornes)
they all had a shared insta account when xander was like 12 where they would post random shit (gray hated it but liked the idea of having smth special with his three brothers)
for nash's 10th birthday (i believe that means xander was like 3) the three younger brothers went out alone and bought him a new cowboy hat and cowboy boots.
they all go shopping with for the gfs together.
they'll sit together and ask each other relationship advice.
when jamie was younger, he had an obsession with helicopters, so nash, grayson, and xander got tobias to get someone to give him a helicopter ride.
they had sleepovers at least once a week when they were children
they didn't really have many real friends (people wanted to use them for their money) so at school they would just sit together at lunch (obviously nash wasn't really a part of if cause he's older)
skye usually forgot about their birthdays so they would all organize their own birthday parties.
xander used to loveee it when jamie gray and nash took turns reading the percy jackson series (like jamie as grover, gray as annabeth, nash as percy)
sometimes people pick at xander cause he's a sweet innocent little cinnamon bun who's kinda easy to bully so nash, grayson and jamie always defend him and make him regret everything he's ever said to their sweet little brother (they once stalked this guy. followed him home, sent him little threats. tobias got really mad and told them that they couldn't do that again)
they're always commenting on each others insta posts (and jamie's thirst traps)
they love going on road trips together (just the four of them). they do at least one road trip a year alone. the tradition started as soon as nash learned to drive.
xander organizes all of their closets (he's an organized king) or makes them little gadgets/grayson is always cooking everyone meals/jamie leaves little puzzles with gifts inside for them to find/nash is literally always teaching them new things
nash used to love to tuck them all in when they were all children.
sometimes they'd watch movies together and they'd all fall asleep except for nash. he'd carry them all up to their rooms. sometimes he also carried them all to his own room, and they'd have a sleepover.
they all like reading (some more that others) and sometimes they all huddle up in xander's room (cause he made this weird comfy revolutionary sofa thing that's really comfortable) and read.
they all gush about their girlfriends to each other. like they'll sit there and be like "omg you should've seen avery today, i think i fell even more in love with her" and then nash will go like "omg same libby made me cake today"
nash wears speedos to the beach and xander thought it was funny so he dared them all to do it too the next time they went to the beach. their gfs were traumatized and were considering breaking up with them. (@catapparently came up with this one)
xander published the book he mentioned writing at the beginning of tbh and it sold like crazy (i don't remember what it was called). xander saw how successful it was and made a book for nash and jamie too.
they love making candy salads and eating them in front of the tv while watching shows (grayson secretly loves candy smmm).
they were all on the cover of vogue (all individually, and once or twice all together)
grayson makes painting for all of them to put in their rooms.
grayson sometimes composes piano pieces for xander, jamie, and nash's birthdays.
jamie used to tear up when his brothers asked him to hang out with them bc tobias convinced him he wasn't good enough (fuck you tobias)
xander used to love to have tea parties when he was like 5, and he'd force everyone to come (he had a pink tea set).
#the inheritance games#the hawthorne legacy#the final gambit#the brothers hawthorne#avery grambs#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#nash hawthorne#xander hawthorne
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The End of All Things (Part Four: e.m. x fem reader)
TRIGGER WARNING & C/W: 18++++ MDNI!!!
Sweet! Eddie, hurt/comfort, grief, talk of grief, fluff, heavy drug use, suicidal thoughts, talk of death/dying, lots of crying, lots of swearing, some smut, unprotected p+v, trauma
Part One: Denial
Part Two: Anger
Part Three: Bargaining
Summary: Relationships are tested, choices are made, words hurt, and you might end up kicking Eddie Munson's ass.
Full plot summary is on part one of this series.
Word Count: 8.6k
A/N: I also submitted an original sketch in this part. It's been years since I have drawn something so it's not great and I fucking forgot how hard it is to draw hands and draw a person lmao but I wanted to give you guys a little added bonus to this series.
A/N #2: This part was a bit rough for me to write, but also super healing in a way. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of all of my friends as I was writing this and just remembering things after so many years since losing my mom. Part Five will be released after the holidays, I need a bit of a break to be with my family and be prepared for the griefy feels. I love you all, thank you for giving me a platform to be creative and to heal. <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eddie was pacing in the break room of the record store; inhaling deeply on his cigarette as he tried to gather his thoughts. The trip back home was uneventful, you had stayed at the Inn in Philadelphia for a night again. He had noticed a change in you after the cemetery. It was subtle changes; you would be unusually quiet, but then you would snap out of it and that big, beautiful smile he loved so much would appear. You were tired a lot; Eddie had noticed the bags under your eyes as the weeks went by. He knew you weren’t sleeping. Even when he would stay in the same bed as you, he knew you only pretended to be asleep. When you thought he was asleep, he would hear you rummage around in the kitchen, or go sit out on the porch, smoking a joint.
Then it hit the two-month mark, and you were starting to terrify him. Summer was almost over, you had lost interest in things you loved to do, like painting, singing, reading. You would go to work, come home, stay awake, sleep, and then go to work again.
Eddie would try to get you to talk to him, but you would shut down, blocking out anything and everything around you.
He plops on the chair, his leg bobbing nervously, cigarette dangling out of his mouth. He stood up and started pacing again, he couldn’t sit.
Eddie had called the realtor two weeks ago; she had a kind voice and gave him useful information and advice when it came to potentially buying a house. He was also curious why there weren’t any hits on the house, it had been on the market for a while and parts of it had been redone but no one was interested in buying it. She told him it was a mystery to her as well, there was nothing aesthetically wrong with the house, the foundation was perfect, the roof was brand new, but no one seemed to care for it. The owners had lowered their price five thousand dollars under the asking price, and there was still no jump.
He had been saving money here and there for a couple years; he would call it his emergency fund. But when he had saw how you looked at your childhood home, how your eyes lit up with nostalgia and joy, he knew what he had to do.
He was doing everything in his power to get enough money for the down payment on the house; he had mentioned the plan to your father. Eddie had thought he would think he was crazy, that neither one of you could afford to live in a house, let alone a mortgage. Instead, he asked Eddie how much he needed. Eddie didn’t want anything, he told him, just support. Your father then said something to him that he will never forget.
“I have two loves in my life: my wife, and my daughter. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have that happen to them. Some dad’s leave, some do stupid shit and some die. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I don’t want her to feel stuck here. I don’t want her to worry about me or worry about what my future holds. I don’t want her to stop her life because her mother died. I’m gonna be okay. I’m going through it, and I’m always going to, but I’m okay. I’m practically an old man, I lived my life, and it was beautiful. It’s still beautiful, but I’m not gonna fully rest until I know that my daughter will be okay. And if she stays here, she won’t be.” He swallows, taking off his glasses to clean the lenses. “Now, I’m asking you how much you need not as a charity. But as a man, looking at a kid I watched grow up to become a man and fall in love with my daughter, who has been by her side through all of this. Wiped her tears, fed her, laugh with her. My daughter loved that house, and the fact that you didn’t even hesitate to call the realtor speaks volumes just what kind of man you are. You want to see her happy, and you are a big part of her happiness. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to love my daughter. I know her mother would agree. So, you’re gonna tell me a number, and I’m gonna do my best to give it to you. Don’t fight me on this.”
Eddie had almost sobbed right there; it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to him. He told him a number, and your father said to give him two weeks. Part of him still didn’t want to take it, but he knew if he didn’t, your father would give the whole thing to the realtor.
He had lit up another cigarette and blew his bangs out of his face. He had called you a few hours ago; you had the day off and planned on taking a nap. Eddie had told you he had found this certain type of acrylic paint you had needed and asked if he wanted to pick it up for you. You had thanked him but said no, and the rest of the phone call was uncomfortable silence.
“Munson!” Sully’s booming voice comes echoing into the break room.
Eddie sighs. “What?”
Sully peeks his head in, his large frame would intimidate most people, especially since he had an enormous throat tattoo, but Sully was a big teddy bear. He was a businessman second, and a father to two beautiful little girls first. “You good, kid?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He inhales on his cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray.
“Any word from her?” Sully was asking about you, and Eddie had told him he spoke to you a while ago. “How’s the money saving going?”
Eddie had told Sully about his plans, and he was more than onboard with it. He said he was close to the owner of the record store on Newbury St in Boston, that he had put in a good word for him, and the owner was more than happy to welcome him into the store when he was ready. The record store in Boston was two floors, both floors had rows of records, and the bottom floor had a little sound stage where locals would perform for a monthly open mic night.
Eddie had gone back on the floor with a tote of jazz vinyls, he sat in the aisle and organized the records by artist. Robin had come to visit, had sat on the floor with him, passing him each artist he asked for.
“I’m worried about her.” Robin says suddenly, looking up to meet Eddie’s eyes. Eddie glances at her and goes back to moving around the vinyls, swallowing hard.
“Me too.” Eddie says softly.
“Has she said anything? When I saw her at the Hideout last week, she looked like a walking zombie for Pete’s sake.” Robin looks up at him, he shook his head, staring at his hands, the skull ring on his middle finger. He fingers it gently. “Are you alright, man?”
“Not really.” He laughs tiredly and looks at her. “She won’t talk to me about how she’s feeling. She’ll talk to me about everything else but that.”
“What happened at the cemetery?” She asked gently.
Eddie shakes his head, running his hands over his face. “A breaking point, I think.”
“Jesus.” She mutters. “What do we do? Intervention? Get a priest? I don’t know how this shit works; I’ve never had someone close to me die before. Is there a rule book? Do we just not say anything and let her be stubborn and just slowly disappear until she’s whittled down to nothing, and we just glue her back together and tell her we love her but what if at that point it’s too late and we can’t—"
Eddie kneels in front of Robin, gently holding her face. “Hey, breathe, dude. Deep breaths.”
“I don’t want anything to happen to her.” Robin tells him quietly, her eyes filling with tears as she looks at her friend. “Why did this have to happen?”
Eddie caresses her head, gently patting her and pulls her in for a hug. “I don’t know.” He mutters. He was so tired of saying it, tired of saying he didn’t know, because it sounded so fucking simple, but it wasn’t.
“Why doesn’t she want to talk to us? We’re her friends, she shouldn’t have to suffer alone.” Robin looks up at him and he sighs, gently knocking her chin.
“I’m going over there after work. I don’t care if she hates me, I need to at least get an idea of what’s going on.” He leans back against the shelves, leaning his arms on his bent knees and Robin wipes her face.
“How are you holding up?” Eddie looks at her. “With all of this? Losing her too?”
Eddie gives her a sad smile. “Would you believe if I told you I was fine?”
“No.” She smirks at him.
“It’s a surreal feeling honestly.” He realizes he hasn’t spoken about this with anyone, even you. “The only time I ever experienced some sort of loss was when my dad went to prison, but fuck him, he can rot there for all I care. But he’s still alive, she’s not. I’m still trying to process how someone can be here one minute, living, breathing, and then just be…dead.” He shrugs, realizing he’s crying and quickly wipes his tears away, he almost laughs. “See? I don’t even notice I’m crying, it’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not.” Robin says, reaching over to squeeze his knee. “You’re going through it too.”
“Yeah, but I feel like I shouldn’t.” He sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “She wasn’t my mother.”
Robin gives him a sweet smile. “No, but she was the next best thing to you.”
He sighs, shaking his head, another tear falls down his cheek. “There’s just so much pain in her. I can feel it.”
He points to his heart, “I see how much pain she’s in and I want to take all of it, so she doesn’t have to, I’d rather suffer with it for the rest of my life, then watch someone like her go through that when she didn’t deserve it. Her mother didn’t deserve to die. I guess no one does, even the shitty ones.”
“Nah, the shitty ones deserve it.” Robin laughs and Eddie chuckles. “You really love her, huh?”
Eddie nods and he sighs, looking into her eyes. “I have to tell you something.”
Eddie tells her his entire plan, about the house, about your father helping him with some of the down payment. He told her about going to see your childhood home, how it’s been on the market since June, and no one is interested. He told her that if his plan works, he’s gonna ask you to marry him the first night you sleep in the house, and that was the first time he has said it out loud. Robin cried happy tears, followed by punching him in the arm.
“You guys are leaving me!”
“Ow!” Eddie laughs, rubbing his arm. “It’s not even set in stone yet.”
“Dude, you know it’s gonna be!” Robin smiles, pulling him in for a hug. “I’m happy for you, but I’m gonna fucking miss you, man.”
Eddie kisses the top of her head, rubbing her shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll miss you too.”
“Steve is gonna be devastated.”
“Nah he’ll be fine.” Eddie jokes. “Yeah, I know. His little boy is growing up.”
“That sounds so gross when you say it like that.”
***
Eddie had driven to your house after closing the store; your car was still in the driveway and the outside lights were on. Your father had gone to Jimmy’s for the weekend, and he had called Eddie at the store to make sure he planned on going over there. Your father didn’t say it, but he was worried about you too.
Eddie walks into the house, hearing the television playing in the living room. He peeks his head into the living and sees your form curled up on the couch, a knitted blanket over you with your hood over your head. It was freezing in the house, Eddie had saw you set the air conditioner to 60 degrees. The only source of light was from the television, it was nick at nite and I Love Lucy was playing. Eddie notices the three empty beer bottles on the coffee table, a half smoked joint, and a bottle of aspirin. He quietly clears the table, dumping out the remaining beer from the bottles in the sink and tossing them in the recycling. He washes his hands and heads back to the living room; he squats on the side of the couch where you were laying, leaning forward to kiss your cheeks softly and caress your head. You stir, opening your eyes, meeting Eddie’s and you smile softly.
“Hey baby.” Eddie says sweetly to you, rubbing your cheek.
“Hey.” Your voice is groggy, and you sit up a little, stretching. “What time is it?” You pull your hood down, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
“A little after ten. Go back to sleep, I just wanted you to know I was here.” He kisses the top of your hand, and you lean into him to kiss his lips.
“No, it’s okay, I feel like I haven’t seen you.” You lay back on the couch pillow, reaching out your hand to cup his cheek. Eddie put his hand over yours, and scans your face, he hated how tired you looked. Your hair was in a messy braid over your shoulder, you looked like you had been crying for hours before he got there.
And your eyes.
Eddie inhales a shaky breath as he looks in your eyes and sees that the light that was once there, was gone. You notice his staring.
“What?” You ask with a smile.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head, getting up and sitting next to you, lifting your legs to drape them over his lap. “I just missed you today.”
You smile, reaching over to entwine your fingers. Eddie leans his head back on the couch, gently rubbing massaging circles around your thighs as you both stare at the television.
Eddie feels you shudder under his touch, so he stops.
Apparently, you didn’t want him to stop, because the next thing that happens is you straddling him, pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss. He holds your waist tightly and groans when you grind yourself against his jeans. You pull off your hoodie, wearing only a lace bra and you deepen the kiss again.
Talk to her, idiot! Eddie is saying to himself, and he moans in response when your teeth graze his throat. She knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s avoiding, she knows how she looks, stop kissing her and talk to her!
Eddie’s conscious screams at him but he continues to kiss you, continues to touch your skin. His skin prickles with goosebumps when your hand touches his stomach above his jeans. Your hand slides down into his pants, grasping his hard length in your hand and Eddie moans loudly.
You’re a stupid fuck! Snap out of it, dummy!
“Wait, wait, wait.” Eddie finally says breathlessly against your lips. “Stop, stop.”
You pull away from him, removing your hand as if it burned. You stare at him with confusion and concern that you may have hurt him. Eddie runs his hands over his face, leaning forward on his knees. “We need to talk.”
“Don’t like that.” You say softly, laughing a little, your heart was racing.
“No, it’s not that kind of talk.” Eddie gives you a sad smile, taking your hand in his and rubbing his thumb over your skin. “You’re starting to scare me.”
You pause, staring at his face. “What? What do you mean?”
Eddie looks at you, really looks at you. “You know what I mean.”
You pull your hand away from his and he sighs, he can already feel you pulling away, he can see it in your eyes too. “Eddie, I’m fine.”
Frustration rose in his chest, and he wants to laugh but he doesn’t, he scoffs instead. “Is that a lie you’re telling me or telling yourself? Do you really think you’re fine?”
She blinks, her eyes already widening with tears. “I’m not lying, Eddie.”
“When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you did something you actually enjoyed? Because for two months, you have been disappearing in front of my eyes.” His own tears were filling his eyes, and he blinks them away. “You need to talk to me.”
“And say what? What do you want me to say, Eddie?” You raise your voice.
“Fucking anything!” He gets up from the couch and paces. You watch him with sad eyes. “Jesus Christ; I know you’re hurting; I know you’re in pain, I can clearly see that but all I’m asking is for you to talk to me. I told you I’m here for you, but instead you’re pushing me away!”
“Okay. You want me to talk? Let’s talk.” Your bottom lip trembles as you look up at him and toss your hoodie back over your body. “Every single damn day I am praying that I don’t wake up in this life, and I wake up in the next because I am tired. I am so tired, Eddie. When I sleep, I don’t feel this fucking throbbing pain in my chest like I feel right now. When I sleep, I have dreams instead of nightmares now and I see her. I see her and she’s alive and I want to stay there. I physically cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror because of how fucked up I look. I don’t tell you these things because it’s not your fucking job to heal me, it’s no one’s job.”
Eddie stands there stunned, his fingers clench around his chest, a lump forms in his throat, and a breath escapes him. “You’re telling me, that every day you pray you don’t wake up? How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?!”
“You wanted to talk!” You snap at him. “You wanted the truth so I’m telling you!”
Tears form in his eyes as he stares at you. “Do you have any idea what that would do to me if I lost you? I mean, fuck, I feel like I’m almost there just by how you’ve been lately. It would destroy me if something happened to you. It would kill me. And you pray for that every day?”
You stand up from the couch, grabbing the joint from the table and lighting it quickly; you inhale and let the smoke billow from your nostrils. “I don’t want to die Eddie.”
“Then what the fuck are you saying to me?!” He yells, tears spilling from his eyes.
“I’m saying I don’t want to feel this pain anymore! If I could cut it out of me without bleeding out I would do it! If I could swallow a bunch of pills just to get rid of it and be okay, I would do it! I don’t want to die; I want to kill this part of me that feels all this pain and guilt and fucking grief and just be done with it!” You yell at him, hot tears stream down your face. “So yeah, I pray for it.”
Eddie runs his hands over his mouth, a small sob escaping him as he stares at you. “Why haven’t you told me this?” His voice is so full of pain, it kills you.
“Because it’s not your job to heal me.”
“It is if I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” He cries and your breath hitches. “Fuck! I want it all with you. I want you; I want the marriage, I want those babies with you, I want a fucking house in the suburbs with a damn dog! Hell, maybe even a cat. But I meant it when I said that when I look to the future, you’re in it. And right now; I feel like you’re telling me you don’t want any of that.”
“Of course, I do.” You say quietly, averting your eyes, wiping away your tears.
“I don’t think you do.” Eddie’s hand goes over his heart again, feeling it slowly break.
“You’re not inside my head, okay?” You snap at him and point to your temple. “It’s a fucking mess in here. Why would you want to be with someone for the rest of your life who can’t even take a shower? Who has a devil and angel on her shoulder, one telling her it’s okay to feel all this pain and the other telling her, grab those drugs from a few months ago! You won’t feel a goddamn thing!”
“Hold on a minute, you told me you didn’t have any left.” He was big mad; you could see it in his eyes.
“I lied.” You meet his eyes, and he lets out a laugh.
“I know exactly what you’re trying to do and hate to break it to you, sweetheart. It’s not gonna work.” He wipes his eyes and his nose. “Did you do it?”
“No.” You whisper.
“Go get it then.” Eddie sneers and you look at him like he slapped you. “If you want to do it, numb your pain that way, fucking doit. I’ll do it with you. It will be a Kodak fucking moment.”
“No. Eddie what the fu—"
“Why? You want to kill that part of yourself, right? Why don’t you kill it slowly with the drugs? Better yet, I’ll go find the guy that supplied the shit that I had, and I’ll go on a fucking ride.” He heads towards the door, tears still running down his face, his eyes wild. You follow him and grab his arm.
“Eddie, stop it! That could fucking kill you!”
“Just a small part of me.” Eddie says, his tone cold.
You let go of his arm, eyes narrowing. “Oh, fuck you!”
“Stings, doesn’t it?”
“What are you doing!? Why are you acting like this?!” You yell through your tears.
“Because you’re not the only one who lost her!” It’s out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Your eyes are wide, glistening with tears. He stares at you, rubbing his palm over his lips. “I cannot imagine the pain you feel right now. But I look at you and I can feel it radiate it from you, every single day. The light in your eyes is gone. And it’s because you choose to suffer with this grief alone.”
You step back from him, shaking your head as you stare at him. “You know what? You need to go. Get out.”
“You think I’m gonna leave after what you just told me? You’re out of your mind.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“You are a fucking asshole!” Your eyes are wide, wild. You open the front door. “I don’t care if you sleep outside in your van, you need to get away from me!” Tears are pouring down your cheeks as you throw open the front door, you look up at him. “You promised me you wouldn’t push. You promised.”
“I guess we’re both liars then.” His big brown eyes match your same wild ones, and you squeeze your eyes shut.
“Please. Just go. Go away.”
“I’m not leaving you.” Eddie says through his gritted teeth.
“I want you to! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to be in the same room as you! Get the fuck out of my house! Get out or I’m calling the fucking cops!”
He stares at you hard. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“I wouldn’t? I’ll just say the magic words, town freak, right?”
His breath hitches and he felt his heart snap in two. Those words have haunted him for five years, and you used it as ammunition, you aimed, and fired. He looks out to his van and then back at you, his face turns from sadness to full on anger. “Fine. Go ahead and suffer alone.”
He walks away from you, you slam the door shut, and slide down to the floor. Your breathing accelerates and you sob into your hands. You did it, you actually did it. You just took the last ten years, wrapped it up in a ball and threw it in the dumpster.
Eddie hops into his van, not even bothering to put his seat belt on and peels out of your driveway. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives. His heart was pounding, behind his eyes stung, he felt like he had his entire body was vibrating. He passes the Leaving Hawkins sign and keeps driving until he’s on a dark stretch of road; he pulls over to the side and turns the car off. He leans his forehead against the steering wheel, his breathing picking up, his hands grip the wheel in a white-knuckle grip. He leans back, punching his dashboard not once, not twice, but three times, and he screams, the sound so guttural, so full of pain, full of anger. “Fuuuuuuck!!!!!!!”
He sobs, hard. His body trembling as every single emotion that he had bottled up these last few months finally made its way to the surface. He shouldn’t have pushed, he knows that, but he’s glad he did. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have known how bad you were hurting, but it didn’t matter now. You told him to go, so he did.
He takes a cigarette out, lights it and inhales, his breath trembling as the smoke comes out. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore, he needed to feel something else other than this pain, and he felt like a goddamn hypocrite when he turns on the van, driving to Indianapolis to a spot where he knew he’d be able to get rid of his pain.
It didn’t matter now, none of it mattered, he was just pulling the strings to his own destruction.
He completely disassociated on the ride to the city; he doesn’t even remember putting on music. He goes down a side street, trying to remember if he’s in the right spot, and when he sees the neon BEER sign, he knew he reached his destination. He only knew about this place because of his dad, he had brought him here when he was last out of prison. In every corner of the bar, someone was snorting something, drinking something, smoking something. He parks the van and gets out; as soon as he opens the door to the bar he is hit with aromas of weed, cigarette smoke, and stale beer. It wasn’t that crowded, and Eddie was glad. He sits on the stool at the bar, the bartender was an older woman, maybe in her late fifties, with kind eyes and a sweet smile.
“What can I get you, honey?” She asks sweetly, placing a napkin in front of him.
“Whiskey, please, straight.” He hands her a twenty-dollar bill, which she hesitates to take, but does anyway.
She places the glass in front of him, and he brings the rim of the glass to his lips, knocking the whole thing back. He winces at the bitter taste and twirls his finger around asking for another. She refills his glass, and he nurses this one.
“You look like you’ve been trekking through a war zone there, sweetheart.” She tells him gently, leaning against the bar, shining a glass.
Eddie meets her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m not gonna pry, I’m just not sure if you’ve come to the wrong place or the right place.” She gently pats his hand and goes down to the other side of the bar to talk to the other patrons. Eddie glances around the bar, and his eyes fix on a booth in the corner. There’s a man speaking to a woman with their heads bowed, she couldn’t have been much younger than Eddie, she was strikingly beautiful, but had very sad eyes, he notices the exchange. The man had put something in her hand, and she walks away from him, leaving the bar. The man notices Eddie staring and nods at him with a smile, Eddie nods back, looking away from him.
He stares at his glass, twirling it in his fingers, the brown liquid moves side to side as he stares at the glass. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, the man was still there, quietly sipping his beer, looking up at the television that had some sort of sports game on.
Eddie knocks the rest of his second drink back and gets up from the stool. He feels the hair prickle on the back of his neck as he walks towards the man. The man looks at him and smiles, leaning back in his seat. He looked like a washed-up version of Robert DeNiro, a little intimidating, otherwise he seemed nice.
Eddie takes out his hand and the man takes it. “Hi, I’m Eddie.”
“Leon.” He sounded southern, Eddie thought. “What can I do for you?”
“I don’t know, what do you got?” Eddie asks, already feeling the effects of the drugs that he didn’t even take yet. That’s how much he loved it the first time he tried it, and that was by accident. Again, it didn’t matter anymore.
Puppet.
“Uppers, downers, china white—"
Pulling the strings.
“How much for the China white?”
Destruction.
Eddie had driven back to the county line outside of Hawkins and had parked in an abandoned fishing spot. The only source of light was from the moon reflecting off the pond, and he opens the square. Leon had told him that if he wasn’t going to shoot it, he’d have to go slow, a small bump. Eddie hated needles, despite having all his tattoos, he couldn’t understand how someone could willingly stick a needle in their arm.
You’re about to snort it, you stupid fuck. What’s the difference? It’s still heroin.
Eddie takes a cassette from under his seat, he didn’t even bother to look at who the artist was, he was gonna throw it out anyway. He sprinkles a little bit of powder on it, no bigger than his fingernail and takes a rolled-up dollar bill. With no hesitation, he’s snorting it into his air ways. He grunts, his nostrils stinging, and a wave of nausea hits him. The cassette tape falls out of his hands, and he feels the vomit hit the back of his throat. He pushes his door open with his shoulder, vomiting all over the ground. He leans his body onto the door panel, wiping his mouth, coughing a little and that’s when he feels it. His eyes flutter close, and he feels a smile grace his lips.
“Oh shit.” He whispers, feeling the euphoria coursing through his blood stream, his nervous system, everywhere. He tries to think of something, think of you, think of her, and he felt nothing. Puppet. Strings. Destruction. He practically drags himself into his driver seat and slams his door. He reaches for the bag of powder, blindly finds the dollar bill and snorts again. He laughs when he lifts his head up, it falls back onto the headrest. Before he knew it, it was all gone and he was smoking a cigarette, his eyes half lidded, his head nodding to the side. He would jump awake, inhale on the cigarette and nod out again. He was just resting his eyes, he told himself.
When he opens his eyes again, he’s in your driveway. He sits up straighter, seeing that it was still dark outside. How the fuck did I get here? He pushes the front door open and practically falls out. He holds his head, the sudden pressure from getting up too fast making him dizzy as he stumbles onto your front porch, pushing your door open. He calls your name, but you don’t answer. He notices the stillness as he stood there, noticing all the lights were off, there was no sound. He suddenly felt sober, and his feet take him to the center of your living room. The light from the bathroom came through the door that was ajar, and all he hears is the sound of his own breathing and his footfalls.
He pushes the door open slowly with his palm, the hinges squeaking, and he sees you lying there. You’re on your back, your head tilted to one side, arms splayed out, unmoving.
A groan escapes him, a sound that started from the very depths of his soul. His body falls against the door, and he falls to his knees. His body felt stiff as he crawled to you, hot, angry tears were pooling from his eyes.
“Nooo…” He groans, his hand shaking as he turns your face, your eyes in a fixed stare. He inhales deeply, cupping your face. You just have to kiss her, and she’ll wake up. That’s all, like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.
Eddie kisses your lips gently, his tears falling to your cheeks, and he lifts his head. You still lay there unmoving, no breath from your lips. His mouth falls open in a gasp as he looks at you, and his body shakes with sobs. He stares at your face, he couldn’t understand what was happening, why this was happening.
“Please come back to me, please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said, please.” He cups your face, smoothing back your hair; you were so cold. “Just wake up now, and we can start over, that’s all. Just wake up…please!!!” He cries and cradles your limp body to him, trying to figure out something, anything that will get you to wake up. He kisses your cheeks, your hair, your forehead.
His head falls back, and a loud, guttural wail escapes his lungs. “Nooooooo!!!”
“Nooooo!” Eddie screams himself awake. The sun was beating down on him in the van as he catches his breath, looking around, panic and fright in his wide brown eyes. He was still parked at the pond. He feels bile rise in his throat and barely gets the door open before he’s violently vomiting on the ground. His vomit from the night before inches from where he stood. He wipes his mouth, his skin sweaty, damp. He squints in the sunlight and holds his stomach. He was still high, but functional, his logical part of his brain working faster than it did last night.
“Fucking idiot, Munson.” He says to himself, and then he remembers his dream. A breath is caught in his throat, and he scrambles himself back in the van, he starts it up, throwing it into reverse and speeds out of there. He was dry heaving on the way to your house, having to stop only once to pull over and vomit again.
He almost forgets to put the van into park when he screeches into your driveway. He almost falls out and scrambles up the steps, your door was unlocked. He doesn’t bother closing it when he runs in and shouts your name. His blood ran cold when he didn’t get a response from you, and he screams your name again. He runs into the living room, his breath caught when he sees that the bathroom door is ajar like in his dream. His heart pounded and he felt his hands shake: it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. Just a dream.
The door squeaks open, and you walk out, towel drying your hair from taking a long hot shower. A whimper escapes his lungs, and he startles you.
The towel falls from your hands as you stare at him and he stares at you, he’s looking at you like he’s seeing a ghost. You immediately notice his features, his pale face, his eyes wide with panic, almost black. He was sweaty, and your hand goes to your mouth to hold back your cry, you knew immediately what he had done and part of you felt responsible.
There was desperation on both of your faces, and the two of you crash into each other, sobbing and holding each other. Eddie holds your face in his hands, kissing you over and over, his tears mixing with yours.
“You’re here.” He kept saying and you weren’t sure why. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He cries holding your face and you shake your head, sputtering, you can feel your face flush as you caress his face, his hair, staring into his eyes.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have had you leave. I didn’t do the rest of the drugs, I got rid of them, I flushed them. I didn’t do them, I swear.” Panic is in your voice, and he holds onto your waist tightly as you keep touching him, keeping him upright.
Eddie feels his heart split in two and feels the guilt bubbling up in his chest as his head falls to your shoulder and he sobs. You hold him there, rubbing the back of his head as you both sobbed. “I fucked up last night, I’m so sorry. But I needed to not feel anything. I thought it didn’t matter, I thought I lost you forever and I couldn’t…couldn’t handle losing another person, I couldn’t handle that pain. There’s so much of it and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”
You pull away and hold his face, shaking your head as you give him a small smile. “We have to feel it, I realized that after you left last night. That’s one of the only ways that lets us know that she was real, that the pain is real; that our love is real.”
“How do you not hate me?” His lip trembles. “After everything I said, after what I did.”
“Because I love you. No matter what and that’s a hard fucking pill to swallow when you realize how much you love a person, even when you’re so fucking angry at them.”
You run your thumb along his lips, and he smiles softly. “When you left last night, I wanted to die. I was awful to you, I pushed you away because I thought your life would be a lot less chaotic without me in it. And then…” You inhale deeply, your voice shaking. “Then I felt her. I felt this warmth, this blanket of pure comfort and I just let it consume me. Everything poured out, I thought my guts were gonna shut down and I would be stuck in a loop of constant tears forever, but I let her in, and she stayed awhile.”
Eddie laughs a little as tears continue to fall from his eyes, he caresses your face, your hair and kisses you softly. “I love you.” He whispers to you.
“I know.” You smirk up at him, wiping away his tears.
He kisses you again, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, letting out a sigh of relief. You hold him tight, rubbing his back and arms.
He takes a shower soon afterwards; scrubbing the last night away until his skin felt raw, and he swore he rubbed off most of his chest tattoos. He finds you in your room, and he walks in with no shirt, and just his jeans. His wet curly hair stuck to his chest. You’re sitting upright, sketching in what looks like your mother's sketch pad.
He sits on the edge of your bed, glancing down at the book. “You’re sketching?”
You look up at him and smile; you were just doodling. Some wildflowers, eye shapes, your hands. You didn’t feel ready to paint yet, and you forgot how much you loved to sketch. You couldn’t force yourself to be happy, but you could try to be a bit more human.
You feel his eyes on you and look up again. He’s smiling that sweet smile, his dimples large. He still looked a little high, but he was less sweaty, less jumpy. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to feel once it was completely out of his system. Would it hurt? He wondered. But he realized he didn’t care if it did, he deserved to feel that pain.
You close the sketch pad and put it on your nightstand, you scoot closer to him, you drape your legs on either side of him while he kneeled. His hand reaches up to caress your face, your lips, and you pull his mouth towards yours in a sweet kiss. You lay back, taking him with you, he cups your face, his other hand going to your leg to hook around his waist, the kiss deepening. His lips travel to your throat, leaving a soft trail of kisses there and to the center of your chest. You sigh lovingly at his touch, and he lifts up your shirt, leaving soft kisses on your tummy, around your navel and ribs. He feels you shudder at his touch, and he pulls you up, peeling your shirt over your head. You were naked underneath, and he kisses you again. The tips of his fingers glide up your arm, leaving goosebumps to prickle on your skin. You grip his forearm, and gently move your fingers up and down as he kisses your neck, slowly moving down, leaving soft kisses around your breasts, and taking your nipple into his mouth, gently sucking. Your back arches and you moan; he goes to your other breast, gently kissing and sucking. His hand travels down your belly while he teases your nipples, and he snaps the button of your jeans. He meets your lips passionately again, grunting softly as his hand slides down over your sex and fingers your clit generously. You arch your hips, and he pulls off your jeans and underwear. He hovers above you after taking off his own jeans and rubs your face. He leans down to kiss you, his lips soft. You let out a moan and he grunts when you feel him push himself inside you, your back arches at the feeling, a loving sigh escaping your lips. His mouth stays hovered above yours as he thrusts, and you look into his eyes. His fingertips dig gently into your thighs and a throaty moan escapes his lips.
He caresses your face, kissing your lips softly, burying his face in your chest, licking around your nipple again. You grip his shoulders, moaning loud, the sensation of his gentleness, the grinding of his hips, was enough to get you to scream. Your orgasm was building in your lower belly, but you didn’t want this feeling to end. You held onto it, and flipped him onto his back, riding him gently, your palms on his chest. Your clit rubs against his pelvis, and your head falls back in a whimper. He holds your hips, his head arching back against the pillow. He sits up, holding him to you in the butterfly position, his arms tightly around your middle, his lips against your breast. The tingles in your belly grow, and you clench around him, your head falls back as you cry out in pleasure, your orgasm causing every part of your body to tremble, and tears spring to your eyes. He groans against you as he orgasms soon after you, he holds you to him, still catching up on your breathing and you look into his eyes. His hand caresses your cheek, and he kisses you gently. You push yourself off him so you’re sitting more in his lap, pressing your forehead against his and he hugs your waist.
Staring into his big brown eyes, you give him a soft smile, gently petting his face. “From now on, we need to be honest with each other. No more secrets.”
He shakes his head, smiling at you. “No more secrets.”
“I’m not okay, Eddie.” You tell him quietly, your eyes filling up with tears, he tightens his hold. “And I won’t be for a long time. When she died…I think, I think a part of me did too. That’s where that pain is.” You press your hand over your heart, and he gently kisses the center of your chest. “They say there’s stages of this grief, but I think they’re full of shit. I think you go through each stage, over and over and over again. It’s constant, like a running stream. And I know you’re not okay, either. You were right when you said that I’m not the only one who lost her—”
“Sweetheart, that was—”
“Let me finish.” You smile at him, kissing his nose and he stares into your eyes. “I’m not the only one that lost her. Yeah, I lost the bond that we formed as soon as I was born, I lost the late-night talks and getting my tears wiped away because she was my mother. You lost someone very special to you, someone who showed you love and comfort and a bond that can be so rare to find. I will never take that away from you. Your grief is your grief, not mine. But we can heal together. It's not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really fucking hard but I plan on doing this with you for the rest of my life. I plan on feeling every single emotion that God or whoever the fuck throws at me, at us. I plan on you being by my side until we’re old, watching our grandchildren grow up, yelling at each other on how to figure out technology because let’s face it, this world is going to be run by machines soon. You are the best thing, the craziest thing, that has ever happened to me, and I’m gonna hold onto that until I can’t anymore.”
His eyes are filled with tears, and he smiles large, kissing you passionately. You hug him tightly, kissing his cheek before getting off his lap. He lights up a cigarette, inhaling it deeply and stretches. He looks at you with his arm draped over his shoulder, just watching you. He stands up to get dressed but you stop him.
“Wait.” You tell him, grabbing your sketch book. “Stay like that."
"What? Why?” He laughs.
“Shut up, don’t move.”
He smiles at you and stays still, and you begin to sketch out his form. Eddie suddenly felt shy as he hears your pencil hit the paper, this was such an intimate moment, and he didn’t want to mess it up. You concentrated so hard on what you were doing, and he felt his heart skip a few beats as he watches you, both nude, just the sounds of the creativity coming out of your brain.
You smiled when you were finished, and Eddie was able to move his limbs, feeling stiff all over. You wipe off the pencil dust and hand it to him. He smiles large, you had captured him so beautifully and he realizes it was true, you saw him for who he truly was.
Just Eddie.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Autumn had come out of nowhere, and you wrap your sweater tighter around you as another wave of nausea hits you. You had left work early; it seemed like every twenty minutes you were running to the bathroom to puke your guts out. You tried to think about what you had eaten the night before; was it the chicken? Was it the leftover meatloaf you had made for your father’s birthday? Eddie had been very cryptic lately, and it was starting to piss you off. He would ask you questions about what color paint you’d use to paint a kitchen, hardwood or carpet; you would overhear him talking to your father about stuff that had to do with finances, and your father had a glint in his eyes, and you tried to think of anything that could possibly make sense. The nausea hits you again and you run to the bathroom and vomit hard. You swore there was nothing left in your system to vomit but your body had other plans. You lean against the tub, the coolness of the porcelain an odd comfort against your skin.
Your eyes land on an unopened box of tampons, and a sudden thought occurred to you. Closing your eyes, you think back to when you last had your period; trying to figure out the math was like trying to figure out a formula with Einstein.
Your eyes snap open; it had been over a month since your last period.
A month.
Nausea hits you again and you grip the porcelain, preparing for the worst but nothing comes. “There’s no way.” You say to yourself and lift yourself up on shaky legs.
Grabbing your keys, you rush out the door to your car, and go into a local pharmacy. You take the first test you see, and don’t make eye contact with the cashier as she rings you up.
When you arrived home, you were grateful Eddie was still at work, and your father was finishing up a construction job in Ohio. You rip open the test, reading the directions.
“Pee on it? How the fuck…” Your eyes squint as you look at the small diagram drawing of how to get coat the test in urine. Groaning, you pull down your pants, and do your business, yelling comedically as you get urine all over your hand trying to match the test up with the stream. The directions said you had to wait three minutes for the results, and you sit on the toilet lid, your leg bopping up and down anxiously as you wait.
Once the three minutes was up, you don’t look right away. Your arm reaches the sink counter, and you take it, looking down at the tiny window. There were two lines, and you suddenly forgot what that meant. You scramble to dig the directions out of the trash, scanning the black ink until you reach the result section.
One line meant it was negative.
Two lines meant…
Your hands shake as you stare at the test in your hand, like it was a rare piece of art, and you were trying desperately to see if the picture would move.
No matter how you look at it, the result is gonna stay the same.
A smile creeps up on your lips, tears well in your eyes and you cover your mouth with your hand.
Something happens to you just now; it felt like the Earth shifted right at your feet. Before there was a constant tilt for so many months, now suddenly it was upright. Everything seemed brighter, you felt a dull ache in your chest, but it wasn’t pain, no, it was something different.
Something warm.
There was a human being growing inside you. Yours and Eddie’s baby. Your father’s grandchild, your mother’s grandchild. Yours. A being that had a part of you and a part of the man you loved. Your best friend, your lover, your confidant.
You were going to be parents.
You were going to be a mother.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x fluff#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson fem!reader
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Submission reason:
He was set up to be a main character in the first film of the sequel trilogy, and then sidelined more and more as it went on in favour of focussing on trying to make Kylo fucking Ren sympathetic. Finn had an interesting backstory that should have affected how everyone interacted with other Stormtroopers, but nothing came of it, no exploration that maybe the people they were killing were each their own person, or how many of them also would have run away given the chance, and just hadn't worked up the courage to do it yet. Him being force sensitive barely got mentioned after episode 7! He deserved a showdown with Kylo Ren and to kick his ass! Also on a meta note John Boyega was done dirty and he knows it!
Completely and aggressively sidelined despite having very clear set-up in the first movie to the point the actor spoke up about the transparent racism behind his and the character's treatment.
They were stripped of everything that made them interesting and turned into comic relief.
Tell me how we went from Black Jedi posters ahead of the first movie to ""went on a racist site plot of oggling at a casino"" in the second.
They set up a great narrative arc and then didn’t do SHIT with it
Finn was a character with so much potential! The first movie set him up to be so interesting! A former stormtrooper who had defected and was now working with the resistance? That's a great concept! And in both the marketing and throughout the first movie you could tell this was an important character! He and Rey were both the main characters.
Fast forward to the last movie though and what did they do with this amazing character? Completely sidelined him! They brushed him aside as much as they possibly could.
Did they have some interesting character moments or growth related to his stormtrooper past? Nope! It's never mentioned! Do they set him up to do something cool with his newfound force powers? Nope! It's barely mentioned! Do they have him and Rey get together after clearly setting them up as the main couple of the sequel series? Nope! Instead, Rey kisses a white man who is a fascist! Can they at least have him and Poe become canon after both actors were clearly rooting for it and they had so much chemistry? Nope! Because Disney are cowards and we can't have gay people in Star Wars! Do they do literally anything with his character? They have him running around chasing Rey and yelling her name a bunch.
It's an absolute disgrace. Even the actor, John Boyega, has talked about how awful it was for him to have this character completely brushed aside. And all because Disney and a certain subset of Star Wars fans are racists. I will forever be mad about this.
He was hinted to have a great backstory, only to get demoted to a glorified side character in favor of Rey
Set up to be a main character and then was constantly relegated to the background and less and less time in the movies he was on the poster.
the first black character to be in promos and marketing as one of the leads - and then he gets sidelined again and again. he’s such a lovely guy and also so cool. he didn’t deserve this.
Among many others, they forgot his character motivations from the first film of wanting help people in general so they could pretend to make him having higher motivations a character arc.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
His character had so much potential! He gave a human face to stormtroopers! I know Rise of Skywalker screwed over everybody, and TO BE FAIR after having a few plot elements spoiled I decided fuck it, not watching that, but there was an OBVIOUS way to wrap up his arc by inciting a stormtrooper rebellion WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN USED IF THEY KEPT THE TREVORROW SCRIPT but instead you get the human face of stormtroopers just casually killing stormtroopers EVEN THOUGH HIS ENTIRE POINT IS THAT HE WASN’T COMFORTABLE WITH KILLING FUCK YOU J J ABRAMS I DID NOT THINK ANYONE COULD MAKE ME QUIT CARING ABOUT STAR WARS BHT CONGRUATILARIONS YOU DID IT GOOD JPB PLEASE NEVER DO ANYTHING AGAON.
Propaganda:
LITERALLY he's the Luke parallel he's the looking at the sky before the republic was destroyed ""I sense a great disturbance in the force like a billion souls crying out"" he's finding freedom from a life of indoctrination and then getting his ass the hell out of dodge and then STILL joining the fight when he was well within his right to leave okay he's like this clown is trying to kill me so I'm gonna pick up this lightsaber which wouldn't even work for me if I wasn't force sensitive and kick my emo edgelord ex boss' ASS and PROVE that being a Jedi is like legit my birthright ALL IN THE FIRST MOVIE and then by movie two it was like. Look at this dumb Black man make googly-eyes at a casino like it's a fucking 1920s minstrel cartoon while the white woman macks on a fascist and becomes the main character. How. HOW did we get here.
-deserves a real conclusion
-deserves being challenged
-deserves real character conflict and development
-deserves the world
-should’ve been actual rep instead of a tool for queerbaiting
-should’ve STAYED the main character, not put aside in favor of sad angry white boy villain
#look how they massacred them poll#look how they massacred my boy#finn star wars#star wars finn#star wars#propaganda post
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so 358/2 days, amiright? heres my thoughts
this game is just. god its an emotional rollarcoaster
i guess ill start with the things i dont like!! which is mostly the gameplay. i dont really mind the mission structure shockingly (i like being able to roam around but having a clear goal makes things easier for my adhd ass, and i think the miniature storylines are very good for the most part) but i simply could Not get into the combat. especially coming off of kh2 it feels so stiff and unfun to play the only part of the game where i enjoyed the combat was fighting riku at the very end. i think the panel system is okay but i dont like that levels take up space. why did they do that.
story-wise, i dont like the retcons!! a lot of the ones i take issue with are very minor but things like roxas only fighting riku once instead of the implied multiple times (even the dialogue doesnt make sense when you change that, why does roxas say 'how many times do i have to beat you' when theyve only fought once?) are the kinds of inconsistencies that just annoy me.
im also a little bit annoyed at the very concept of this game at all. i think roxas worked just fine as a character without this game. it feels sort of unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. also, xion. i love xion, dont get me wrong, but i dont think she adds anything to the series over all. thats not to say she doesnt add anything to this game because shes a great character and i love her, but shes just. kind of like this game in that if you got rid of her i dont think it would really change the narrative so much.
BUT DESPITE THAT ALL!!!!!!!! i fucking ADORE this game. it is genuinely so full of charm and soul that i just cant bring myself to dislike it. i think this is one of the best written games in terms of dialogue. every scene (at least for me) hit exactly as emotionally hard as i think it was meant to. i was laughing at demyx's antics and crying at xions death and yelling at saix and i think thats exactly how the game is meant to be seen.
days at its heart is a slice of life. its working a 9 to 5 its going through a depressive episode its losing friends its grieving its making fun of your coworkers its living. its a game about life and i love that.
this game really did make me forget that axel roxas and xion dont get a happy ending. i spent so much time looking forward to them making up that i forgot that roxas ran away. hell i almost forgot that xion died.
days is emotional and its story and its characters are just so fucking good. the conflicts all felt very real and you can tell exactly where everyones coming from. the way axel roxas and xion fall apart hits so fucking close to home. but god damnit if axel had any good communication skills like half of this could be avoided
its also one hell of a love letter to axel's character. hes always been one of my favorites (he recently earned first place) and i think this game does him a lot of justice. hes trying to do good. he wants to keep everything together he wants to be there for his friends he wants to make things right but he just cant. its just AUGH its so fucking good
that thing about axel's characterization really also applies to roxas. i dont have much to say about him beyond the fact that i think it does his character very well. also tism. hes so autism.
i kind of like the very limited graphics too. sue me i enjoy low quality games. the hands are not animated and they all have two expressions (blinking and not blinking) and their weapons are flat and im living for it. the very few fully animated cutscenes are good too!!
the (real, i dont count riku) final boss is unfortunately very easy. you can just stand directly in front of her and mash a she wont hit you its too easy but vector to the heavens did mess me up a bit. also earlier scene but "ill always be there to bring you back" with the other promise playing over it? fucked me up man. yoko shimomura is once again killing it
i cant believe roxas didnt get to go to the beach.
i have to give this game a 9/10. its writing is incredible but the gameplay could use a lot of work. its just not fun to play. but again the characters, emotions, and music all make up for that tenfold.
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Here comes my two cents on anti-Neil Gaiman posting that I hope comes across civilly and that if you choose to interact with you are also polite about.
Everyone has the right to like/dislike a creator and to separately like/dislike their work. I happen to like this particular creator quite a bit, and I do notice that not everyone GOmens posting does, which again, of course, is fine. Disagree with choices made, that's healthy, but the way I keep seeing "us (fandom) vs him" mentality on any type of post feels bad. This isn't a defense of him; I don't fucking know him, nor does he need that. I'm actually quite happy when I hear folks say they simply don't follow/interact with him if they dislike him. That's great energy, but the rest of us seeing it all over is less great. Thought some reminders posted into the void would help lighten up the energy around here, or at least get it off my chest lol.
1. I've been properly queerbaited by media. This is not fucking that. Take a deep breath and heal with me.
2. A lot of vitriol towards Neil, and frankly Michael and David too, seems to be about being straight men creating this. Have we still not learned to mind our business on this front. You don't know them, we don't know them, but everything we've ever seen from them proves they're on our side. You wanna be mad at a straight man for actually fumbling the bag Steven Moffat is right th- sorry I forgot this isn't about him I tried not to bring up Sherlock in point 1 I really did. ANYWAY. I'm not implying anything, but I have learned to mind your business a little when telling someone why they can't create something queer. That's all.
3. This is his story, and it's not over. It took so long for him to get an adaptation made that he actually wanted to do, and he's doing it. I point y'all to Percy Jackson (I know there's some overlap in demographics here) and how much better the new series is just because Rick Riordan is more involved in adapting it. Having an author of the original work handling the adaptation this thoroughly is a gift regardless of how you feel about him. Additionally, he's writing the rest of the story that he and Terry Pratchett didn't tell. In Terry's honor. For himself. For all the people with beat up original copies. For all the people who have just joined because they realized there is something magical here. But above all it's still his. Take a deep breath and remember this is a love story, and if you still are not content in the end there's always AO3 my friends.
TL;DR vent away on your Tumblr if you don't like Neil Gaiman, nobody is gonna like everyone and certainly nobody's perfect. But before spreading negativity against him on every corner of the GOmens tags, I encourage you to remember how essential he is to the work regardless of your opinion. And remember that those who do like him and his work are also doing so with the best of intentions. Aren't we all. Peace and love this new year. Wait and see. Etc.
#good omens#gomens#neil gaiman#i almost didn't tag this bc i don't actually feel comfortable up on this soapbox but i would like at least somebody to find comfort in it
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Part 39 was absolutely fantastic, a great set-up for a series finale. Arthur is woefully under prepared to go into the Order of the Fallen Star, he's got many things on his mind and it's going to crash and burn and I can't wait to see how exactly that will happen.
Oh Noel... What a fascinating character, what a callback to the early days of the story! Finding out that he's Roland's old partner, and that he's been in the prison pits was a shock and a half! I absolutely love all the implications, the shape of the larger narrative that's emerging, it's so good!
I think it was extremely reckless of Arthur to spill the beans on John so suddenly, but I'm so glad it worked out and John got to have an actual conversation, a human connection with someone other than Arthur. He needed that so badly. To hear Arthur verbally thank John for his input in a conversation was especially great! And then John forgot...
This makes me perfectly sure that something deeper is wrong with John. It's not just pettiness, it's not resistance against Arthur's agency overpowering his own that he misses things or doesn't remember, there is something deeply off. He would not voluntarily forget a special experience like a conversation. Ever. It is deeply concerning and it makes me wonder if it's because he's a fragment and not a full Entity? That the further he drifts from the King, the more tenuous and shaky his grasp on his identity becomes until he can develop an actual self-image and form a new identity, free from the King. He cannot do that while he's so bound to Arthur. Arthur and John are individuals, but they're also one and the same. The one's mistake becomes the other's, they cannot be seen as separate beings. And for John especially, I think this is detrimental.
I think they need more discussions like they had in this episode where they ask each other what they're thinking about, what's on their mind. I think John needs to develop his sense of self so he can stand on his own without the King. And Arthur needs to respect that individuality more. Because John is right, he is a prisoner in there, as much as he's essential to Arthur.
Another thing I wanted to point out is Arthur's story. Meeting Percival again was a nice callback to a seemingly throwaway side point in an earlier episode, but the jury is still out on how important this second meeting will turn out to be. I feel like it's too coincidental, but we'll see where it goes. But the way Arthur told that story, it definitely means a lot to him. It's very introspective, and I think it reflects Arthur's fear that his end goals are going to be meaningless. Whenever John brings up separating them, Arthur glosses over it or dismisses it. I think he's gotten used to a passenger in his mind, and we already know he doesn't cope well with the absence of John. The woman is an interesting figure in that story. Is he hoping that something else will fill the void once he reaches his destination? I can't quite put my finger on the whole meaning yet, but I can't wait to return here in a year or so and cry about the inevitable gut punch it's going to be.
I'm also extremely amused by John asking if he's ever been in a fight (cold, calculating demeanour of someone not to fuck with my ass lol), promptly followed by one of the most violent beatings in a while. John's shock was delicious, but I think Arthur overdid it slightly lol. That aside, it was pretty funny overall.
In general, this was a great, well-paced episode and I am really looking forward to the next one. It's gonna be a doozy, I can feel it.
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Hua Laoshi
Thinking about Professor HC. He’s like late - 30’s, total dilf, but really well respected and liked - students really love his classes. He makes history enjoyable to learn, after all.
He’ll go on wild yet profound tangents and has great PowerPoints. Sometimes a random gif will pop up here or there because he forgot to take them off; they were just for jokes oops but hey at least the students find them funny.
There’s a reason why HC leaves his notes to the powerpoints. Mans can barely write his name legibly, much less use the chalkboard for anything besides drawing. However, his maps are actually insane - he could actually be a map-maker.
HC’s assignments entail lots of writing and some group work, plus participation points are a must, but it’s to be expected because his courses are usually for upperclassmen.
The new incoming students are always blown away by the sheer amount of knowledge HC has AND that he is articulate enough to teach in a way that all his students can actually learn.
Many students see Hua laoshi in and out of the library, checking out numerous books at a time and if a student asks for help in furthering researching a topic, HC is diligent about guiding them to relevant resources or even having the university order the texts themselves.
HC is fluent in seven languages, and can understand basic conversations in even more. Thus, if some students think they can gossip in another language, HC will eventually let them know in the slyest ways that nothing gets past him.
HC’s wardrobe is refined with plenty of statement pieces and accessories. This includes the fancy pins on his suit jackets, the most commonly worn ones being a butterfly and a flower. On numerous occasions, he’s been voted as the most stylish professor on campus.
His office is also one of the best designed, with comfy chairs and lots of desk space, traditional paintings hung everywhere, a few plants lining the window sill, several mugs labeled with “student tears,” etc. On his desk sits all his devices neatly plugged in, a picture of his black cat (E’Ming), and a picture of him and his husband on their wedding day.
Yes, even with all the rings HC wears on all his fingers, the polished silver band on his left ring-finger never goes unnoticed.
It’s really no secret how much of a romantic sucker HC is for his husband.
Once, on the first day of classes when HC was connecting his computer to the projector, his desktop photo was revealed on the big screen: a photo of XL mid-laugh, laying next to HC when they had one of their picnic dates.
Or another time when HC meant to freeze the screen that had instructions for a small in-class writing assignment but didn’t, which exposed the document HC was writing on with ideas on what Christmas gifts to get for his husband.
Another year, at the start of the second semester, HC began his lecture with, “So, no one asked what I did over break but-” he makes a show of pressing the clicker, and a photo of HC ice-skating pops up. “-yes, I did ice skate for the first time, and yes, I did out-skate everyone on the rink.”
He nods with a complete deadpan. A series of chuckles ring across the room.
“Except my husband, of course.”
The slide switches to a picture of XL skating (taken by HC, obviously), the warmest smile on his face.
“See how cool he is.” :)
HC keeps going with pictures and even videos of XL skating, the class occasionally breaking into choruses of “ooohs” and “ahhhs.” They don’t need to know that this is the part of the powerpoint HC spent the most time preparing, but with HC standing at the front with the biggest fucking grin on his face (#proudhusband), the students could probably guess that was the case.
Here Hua laoshi is, starting the semester off by showing off his husband, as he should.
Some students have had the privilege of running into HC and XL during their date night !! As in, sitting at a table far enough away where they can see XL talking enthusiastically - waving his hands in large motions and swirling his glass - while HC listens and nods with the softest smile.
Honestly, anyone with functioning eyes wouldn't help but be able to gush over how cute the couple looks.
One of the students actually crosses paths with XL in the bathroom. They washed hands side-by-side and then XL used a paper towel to open and hold the door open for them! Back at the student table, the lucky soul proceeded to whisper-scream about how pretty Hua laoshi’s husband is.
XL subbing for HC’s class once in a blue moon - basically XL going through HC’s PowerPoint and thoroughly explaining everything because HC talks about his lessons so much.
XL: “ahah I’m your sub for today, serves me right since I’m the one who got your professor sick” 😅
XL reading over HC’s notes: “hmm, ok, your professor also wrote down that-“
A random student: “wait a min, he can read hua laoshi’s handwriting?”
A second student: “hmm, makes sense, they are married after all”
A third student: “opposites do attract i guess”)
2. Also, XL frequently uses the chalkboard and students are like 😱😱he writes beautifully!
XL messing up: “oops lemme erase this-“
The students: “NO ITS FINE”
3. One student: “ahh, I see Xie laoshi is wearing Hua laoshi’s lucky tie today”
XL, looking down at the crimson dragon printed tie: “huh? this is mine though…San Lang wears it…?”
The students: “Oop exposed”
Which alludes to how seldom XL seems to wear ties.
(HC when XL gets home and nonchalantly begins loosening the tie: “holy shit, i married THAT”
4. The students zero in on the red coral earring XL dangling from his right ear lobe, the match to HC’s who either wears it on his ear or attached to his braid.
***
Incidentally, the first time HC hears himself being referred to as a “dilf,” he’s that meme with the lady who has the math/science equations in the air. They think he’s a WHAT? Is it the way he dresses? Or talks? Like what is it about him that makes him a “dilf?” Because HC in his life has never-
Oh wait. Hang on a second.
HC arrives home and sees XL working on the couch, glasses on, hair in a half-bun, tight-white shirt, sipping on some tea.
HC may actually be familiar with the feeling…!!
《II》
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#modern au#professor hua cheng#fluff#cerdrabbles#married hualian
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Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 1 Stray Thoughts
This rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan. Shan has the rare honor of being the only straight white person to respect my tastes in the last 15 years and successfully convince me to watch two things that I went on to enjoy immensely. She convinced me to try Coffee Prince when I was willing to engage with kdrama and pushed me over the episode 10 slump. She also convinced me to watch the Pornographer series again, which I found essential. I've given her coupons to use to recommend things to me, and she's chosen to make me reengage with Theory of Love.
I didn't walk away from this show feeling great about it or myself in 2019. I identified with Third a lot, and also hated their entire friend group. I also thought Earth and White went to waste in BL again (I watched Water Boyy the series). So we're going into this on shaky ground. I kindly ask that you not argue with me in my notes about why you love this show.
Let's get started.
Right away I am reminded that I am not immune to Gun Atthaphan mooning over classic romance films that his character has protected way too much into.
Khai choosing to not mess around with folks in his faculty is a pretty good boundary for a player.
So, it's not Khai's fault that Third fell in love with him. Still, I understand the stress and angst of crushing on a straight boy who loves you platonically. Coming out is not easy, especially when you're one of the boys.
Okay, Third pouring a bottle of water over his head to be dramatic is too much. He is unwell.
Gun having second billing on this show is homophobic.
Ep 01: Best Friends
I wonder if Gun wants to produce and direct.
That line about having hundreds of girls if not for Khai feels kinda funny. Like are you gay, sir?
Goddamn this GETSUNOVA song still fucking slaps.
I forgot how this seaweed snack kept the lights on through Bad Buddy.
12,000 baht to see Blackpink? Couldn't be me.
I don't feel bad for Third about these tickets. He said no to getting them, so Khai isn't a dick for getting them from a scalper.
This is extremely tacky of Khai to start shit at someone's screening like this.
They curb stomped Khai for that behavior. You love to see an instant comeuppance.
Okay, but sending Third to reject Milk is clearly his specialty.
I wanted to know what they said about the Toy Story trilogy, especially since Khai did a Vulcan salute.
Third has a Winnie the Pooh, Astro Boy, and Chucky doll in his room. I have questions.
Khai ditching Third on a lie isn't cool and also feels unnecessary since he canceled on Third for a girl earlier. Is it because it was Milk?
Okay, but Khai is also right that he didn't tell Third to throw her shit away.
Ah, Two finds him at the end of the episode to try and keep Third invested.
This show is very different for me in 2023, because now that I'm older I'm doing what I can. I'm not trapped in a spiral frustrated and pining after a guy I struggled to get over. My living situation is also different. There's also so much more BL better suited to my tastes. Me reading Gun a certain way doesn't cover for Third the way it did in 2019, so his bisexual angst about the girls he hasn't scored because of Khai doesn't track as sympathetic this time. I'm also struggling to see what holds Third to Khai. He's just like most dudes I know. Sometimes he's a good bro and recognizes your efforts when you do something he asked for, but they never notice what you do that they didn't ask for.
It'll be interesting continuing this watch, because I've never been an OffGun girlie, and now that I've projected my gay angst into other projects I feel less connected to Third. Now I'm just frustrated for him and also a little irritated.
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I saw ur tags and ran over here. What are ur favorite spicy UF! Papyrus fics?
HELLOOO LMAO you were so quick... sorry this took me a while to get together, but I hope you enjoy ( ù ᵕ ú )
Fair warning that some of these picks will include dub/noncon (and potentially other dubious content? I don't know what I'm going to add yet HAHA) so as always make sure to heed the warnings and read the tags before reading!! I've done my best to label them accordingly though :]
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READER INSERTS
Edge Discovers the Wonderful World of Subbing
You can tell exactly what this list is going to be like just from the title of this first fic... (title is explanatory, gotta love it!!)
Good EdgeLord
More sub Edge!! 💥💥
Caught in the Act
HELLO?? HELLO. Voyeurism? Low stakes semi-public sex? Double penetration ?? Sign me UP.
Pumped (Kinktober Collection)
Usually I refrain from including individual Kinktober chapters from rec lists BUT I really like this one ( '^' )!! It isn't even that explicit, but it's stuck in my brain because I GASPED when I read it for the first time.
Pyr's Favourite Keeper [DUBCON -> CON]
Love me a snakey boy!!!!!! There's also oviposition 👀!!
Wake
Sleepy sex <3! The bit with the SNAP part killed me and it's also such a fun detail!
Prime Time to Run
Mafiafell... he straight up murders someone in front of you and you fuck about it.
Bound Edge
Sub Edge again!! The reader has a dick in this- a rare but delicious treat !
Fall Out Bones [NON/DUBCON...????]
Technically this is linked to a series featuring both UF!bros, because I think that both are reslly good partially also because I think they're intensely hilarious at times. The titles are also great.
Boned [NONCON]
CLASSIC 2016 PREMISE. Reader is trapped in the fucking shed. (Fucking used as both profanity as well as a descriptive action)
Housekeeping [NONCON]
Weird location (sink)! But it works really well for the fic!!! Violenctce.
To Prove A Point ||| The Origins Of The Pap-wich - (Swap!Pap/Reader/UF!Pap)
Ahhh the good ol threesome ! The reader gets sandwiched between two very sexy skeletons~ !! I'm also a big Swap!Pap fan so this is just. *Mwah* so good!!!!! Double penetration again ~ also one of the few fics with squirting 🙏✨
All Dicks, No skeletons [DUB/NONCON DUE TO DETACHABLE ECTODICK SITUATION]
I cannot put into words how much I love this. It's got detachable ectobits... inconvenience due to detachable ectobits!! In this, Edge has a barbed dick and claws up a tree. It's crack but it's so so good!!!!!! I'm patiently waiting for updates and will ravenously consume the fic for lime the fiftieth time when it does.
OTHER SHIPS
Also! Here are a few fics with UF!Pap in other ships (namely various Papcest configs) because you didn't specify it had to be reader inserts lol
Little Wet Bones (Papcest: Farm/Underfell)
Bitty!Edge is soooo cute... and horny!! He's so self assured I love it.
Pepper Heat (Papcest: Edgepuff)
Heat fic! Heat fic!! Chili peppers is one hell of a heat scent... the only person who can handle a Papyrus is another Papyrus ;] The naming scheme here is also very funny when you realise what went on.
A Fallen Knight and his King (Papcest: Edgepuff)
MORE SUB EDGE ! This one delves more into the his exploration of dom/sub dynamics and it's so so good!!!!
Three Chance Meetings (Papcest: Spicyhoney)
Swap!Pap is (secretly) a prostitute and Fell!Pap finds out and shills out the money to spend a night with him. I looooove the character dynamics in this one too.
Taste of Blood and Honey (Papcest: Spicyhoney)
I forgot about this and was delighted to discover it again because ohhhhhh my god the premise is so good... also there's mirror sex and first times and those are always fun :3c
Mutt Lost a Bet (Papcest: SpicyBBQ)
Mafia AU setting where SF!Pap and UF!Pap make and lose bets resulting in sexual escapades. The second chapter is my favourite because it involves gloryholes and aphrodisiacs <33
Bro's Replacement (Papcest + Sanscest : Spicyhoney + Cherryberry)
LAMIAS AGAIN 💖 Honestly the setup is what gets me... but the smut is delicious so I'm adding it here :3c
Heat (Papcest - Spicyhoney) [HEAT INDUCED MUTUAL NON/DUBCON]
Why are there so many lamia fics in this list, I do not know, but heeeeeeey enjoy the snakeys! In this one the non/dubcon is due to UF!Pap being in heat, and both of them regret it after. Things get better though!!
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Anyway, that's all for now! Hope you enjoy some ^^!!!
#doozis fic recs#fic recs#uhhhhhh YEAH IM NOT TAGGING THIS ONE LOL#im always down to talk smut >:3c but also im like. man this sure is a public blogggggg ahhsjrjrkgjfkrnngkrn#there are a couple i didnt include for Various Reasons so this is it for now uwu)b!!#anon#inbox
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so. i was very bored. and on character ai there's an alternate timeline ai that can come up with things that could happen and such. so i was like. okay let's go wild let's make an au were octarians won the great turf war. so there it is, an au created with ai deciding what would change in characters' lives, what would they end up doing, and, of course, me finilazing it with my headcanons and adding some flavour to some of ideas.
so. yep. octarians won, and, just like in original series, the losing side, inklings, are living in the domes. in my head they still have the great zapfish, while octarians go into a more sci-fi direction and make their own power sources. inklings are...kind of almost erased from their history. i don't know why it clicked in my head, it just did, maybe there's a better way to implement things, okay. x)
onto the characters...
callie and marie didn't form a duet without contest and end up having the most ordinary jobs. i know, right?
callie is a teacher and marie is a journalist! i personally really loved callie as a teacher and i'm just. yeah. marie. you know. marie had me suffering.
i would have design notes here but there's not much to tell so if there's something catching your eye that you think might mean something - it probably does. idk.
i took pearl's money. that's right. now she's forced to work as barista. by me. i want you to know that it was VERY hard to decide what would pearl do now that i stole her money but holy fuck coffee shop aus got to me. (i'm also very proud of the logo i came up with hehe)
alright. so. there's a hard one. and by that i mean in my headcanons three's family is ... one of those traditional families ... you know what i mean.
so... here goes kaori, using she/her and having a big identity crisis she's not really able to solve. a little hard when you're not so sure what to make out of it and don't know if you can tell anyone how you feel.
kaori does not like when adults make the distinction between girl things and boy things, she's not that into skirts honestly, she's just wearing it to please her parents.
kaori is studying to become a scientist to work on improving life in the domes. that's good, right?
speaking of scientists, of course there's an extraordinary - marina ida. we all know marina, she's too smart for all of us. she's helping in multiple researches and is very widely known. (and also gets lots of MONEY for that). *re-reads ai's entry on marina and looks away* UMM okay i totally forgot that part where she's also a professor in university. WELL NOW I KNOW the context to something else. maybe.
so, eight... nana in this au *looks at coroika*, is a student (idk, highschool maybe...i dunno i dunno i think i messed up) who got a bit carried away with a project. and started her research on inklings, because there's a theory going among the historians that the inklings still do exist... so nana, as a very passionate when she has interest octoling, goes to explore on her own! she gets into the domes and meets kaori eventually, who's...got a good eye on weird features and recognises nana as an octoling. not exactly friendly at first, but what can a squid like her do anyways?
eventually they kinda get stuck along because nana wants to KNOW. kaori just desides to go against her better judgement and give her a tour. and leads her to the best coffee shop she knows. they bond with each other eventually and become friends :) and nana works hard to get heard and get inklings to surface somehow maybe, though it doesn't seem like they want it THAT much? i mean, they're established their society already, why would they? they be chillin'. (but yes kaori gets to see the surface FOR SURE.)
i REALLY didn't want to leave four alone on her introductory pic poor lonely squid</3
so there she is! surume, that one school student who's drawing on each lesson(me). she's also *looks at ai's statement* is popular on social media for her art.
she doesn't really meet kaori that often, but when their class goes to see a college where kaori studies, you know, to show their possibilities, where they could go after school or something like that, so they sort of...know of each other? very awkwardly and formally have met each other? kaori will probably die of embarassment when sees surume again because thinks she made a bad impression? lol!
if you follow me you may have noticed that i'm projecting my gender crisis on three hard and usually the one they're consulting with is four... and it stays true to this au, i really want kaori to talk things out and, ay, it's way easier to open up to a stranger sometimes. so yeah. i think it will happen in my au. surume explaining kaori all the stuff about gender identity and sexuality because there's a little more of society pressure in this au... they'll get there eventually.
bonus: ref for marina in her regular clothing! she's so pretty...
another bonus: marina meeting a pretty barista...
so yeah. yeah. marina gets into the domes because nana has caught her interest with her project, so she meets pearl. because if pearlina doesn't happen the universe will explode and we all know that.
also there were doodles i made on our first wbf that you now know the context for :]
thank you for reading this far! it was... a long one... yep. i also really want to thank everyone who's following me fr fr i'm very happy to get feedback and to know that you enjoy my art! love ya'll<3 /p
separate versions under cut
#splatoon#splatoon au#takopolis au#thats what i call it FOR NOW bc i have no better name for the city :(#agent 3#agent 8#agent 4#callie splatoon#marie splatoon#marina splatoon#pearl splatoon#FINALLY its been....*uses calc* ALMOST TWO WEEKS since i started#yeah no that's literally almost as much as i spent on 24hour setup and splatoween splatfest (its 18 days vs. 13 days)
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Maybe I'm your soulmate. || Robin Arellano || part two
Summary- after the library incident, robin sees you picking up the Blakes from their house the next day. what an odd coincidence that he's doing the exact same thing. on the way to school, robin hears something he doesn't like too much.
Tags- jealous robin, school gross, oreo game (fucking hate that game), bitchass bruce Yamada uh yeah that's all
Warnings- cursing, small and i mean very small mentions of drugs and blood
Notes- CAN I JUST SAY THANK YOU GUYS SO
MUCH FOR TJE LOVE ON PART ONE 🤭🤭 ALSO I MIGHT TURN THIS INTO A SERIES BECAUSE I DONT WANNA MAKE SUUUPER LONG CHAPTERS AND PACK IN TOO MUCH INFO BUT YEAH JUST LMK IF YOU WANT ANOTHER PART LOLZ
Robin sat there awestruck for a good ten minutes, hell he probably would’ve sat there all night had the librarian not ruined his thought process.
“Hey kid, the library is closing. go on somewhere do some drugs quit being a loser” the librarian whisper shouted, pointing to the exit.
“oh my bad sorry yeah” he chuckled, and hurriedly grabbed his things.
on his walk home he thought a lot about you or more so why were you cutting off this sudden rivalry with some random flirting?
‘it was probably a one time thing’ that was one of the thoughts he actually didn’t want to be true. you were cool & pretty. you’re a great friend to finn.. you could probably fight well too.
“jeez louise i gotta hurry the fuck home” robin spoke out loud. that was probably the first sentence he’d said in a hot minute. everything other than that was just thoughts of you.
poor guy couldn’t get his mind off you, until he entered his house, “Robin! where were you. me and your mother were worried sick!”
his uncle was right, he probably could’ve tried and communicated in some way to let his family know he would be back rather late and quite past curfew, but hey whaddya know he forgot. somebody had distracted him.
“sorry i was at the library, i should’ve faxed and said i was gonna be late” the long haired sighed regretfully.
His uncle groaned disappointedly, “we’re just glad you’re home. now go on to your room and wash up before dinner.
robin scurried up to his room and changed into some pj's before quickly rushing back down and sliding into his seat looking around for the food.
his mother placed down his plate, a big bowl of noodles, homemade spaghetti sauce and some sprite rested on the table below.
"gracias mama," he beamed before digging in.
the next day when robin awoke, he tried his hardest not to think about what had occurred the day beforehand. he hastily got ready and rushed to the blake's to get Finney and Gwen,
when he got there, you were standing outside, almost as if you were waiting on them. when you turned around your face lit up, "Hey Rob! Finn and Gwen are practically ready, Terrence said I could go on in but I just said I'd rather wait out here. you're more than welcome to go inside I'm sure!"
he looked at you for a moment, confusedly, wondering how he should respond. he thought of something clever but Gwen walked out with Finney hot on her trail.
"Hey, Robin. Hey Y/N! you two ready?" Both you and robin nodded before leading the way to the school. Before you guys got too far you let out a gasp.
"Ohmigod! I forgot to tell you guys! Bruce Yamada asked me on a date!!" Robin's entire world began to shake, why did it matter to him so much? Bruce was a good guy, if anything he should be happy for you.
right?
well, he wasn't. his fists were balled up so much so that his knuckles turned white. He bit the inside of his cheek until it began to leak a crimson red liquid, a metallic taste filling his mouth slightly.
he tried his best to rejoin the conversation and listen in, "what'd you say?!" Gwenny shouted excitedly "I said maybe," you sighed, Gwen did too. but not for the same reasons.
"What!!? But you've literally liked him since you got here!" the braided-haired girl said astonished.
"Yeah I know but, his friends were laughing... I think he was playing oreo or something." you looked at the ground.
"oreo?" robin questioned Finney nodded before speaking up, "it's some sick game people play, a group of people play rock paper scissors and the winner makes the loser ask out the person of the winner's choice. each person who plays is an oreo and the loser gets the filling or something. it sucks"
robin scoffed, the school coming into his view just in time. "I gotta go. see ya at lunch." robin waved the three off.
"Is he okay?" Y/N asked, noticing his weird behavior and actions today "Yeah yep he's fine."
#finney blake#griffin stagg#paperboy#robin arellano#vance hopper#the black phone#tbp#bruce yamada#robin arellano x reader
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recently saw a tiktok about toji n megumi…and good god. ppl in the comment section were willing to die in the trenches to convince others that toji had at no point sold megumi (which is so easily fact-checked it hurts) and that he was a great father. girl, we did not read or watch the same series. and mind you, this is not coming from anti-toji angle at all.
i don't understand glazing over the turmoil present in the text. it's what makes their father-son relationship so interesting and compelling. the tragedy of it all! how grief and trauma molded their relationship - or actually, lack thereof. and yet, even then, megumi was still toji's last thought as he was dying. the softness in his voice when he said "i'm glad" after coming to the conclusion that gojo had intervened in the toji-naobito agreement and had allowed megumi to stay a fushiguro!
and how delusional do you have to be to claim fushiguro toji is a good father?? bro??? toji loved megumi, sure. but his approach to his son, post his wife's passing, was hands-off: extreme edition. megumi himself says he hasn't seen his father in years and toji asks "who's that" in response to shiu asking about his son. all the "caretaking" choices he made for megumi (like arranging a future sale with the zenin, leaving him with his then partner, mamamiki) resulted in son's well-being and rearing being out of his hands. telling gojo that particular info but leaving it up to him what do with megumi's fate, is another wild example of his claim to absentee father of the century.
and i think it's easy to understand why. it's not out of malice, toji's treatment by his clan left him thinking that he was worthless and also, deeply unstable. all those traits resurfaced again during his grief. so, with an example of childrearing like that, zero positive influences in his own parenting (mamamiki isn't winning any mother of the year awards either. althought, idk if that would have changed anything) this was probably his way of trying to provide megumi w/ a better life by taking his presence out of the equation. the same happens when it comes to the sale. in his head, toji probably believes he is providing better odds for megumi by selling him back to their ancestral clan (even though, i'm sure toji knew he wouldn't be exempt from hardships - the zenin clan's still toxic even if you are an asset).
obviously, there here is also selfishness, lack of motivation, and a whole cocktail of other negative bullshit, in all of that. out of sight, out of mind (so out of mind he forgot to who the name megumi fucking pertained to. and, adding to the cherry on top, HE was the one who named his son). also, i cannot stress this enough,,,,he was going to financially benefit from SELLING his son. which is, and i cannot believe i have to say this so, bad! that, cancels every and any possible good (even if misguided) intention in leaving megumi in the zenin's care! he's a flawed fuck! he's another cog in the great old generational trauma of the zen'in clan! fushiguro toji is objectively not a god person or father! however that's part of what makes him, him. and as a consequence, what makes him such an interesting character. it's why their little father-son (unbeknownst to megumi) moment hits so hard. the baggage has to exist in order for that little moment to hold so much meaning.
in sum, i love all is well au’s as much as the next person, but why reduce such an interesting relationship, when discussing actual canon, to something with so little complexity? why viciously sanitize it? i want to see that energy in fics! in aus! but like. time and place ❤️
#i'm sorry for how clumsily this is written. english is not my 1st language. and i struggling particularly bad today to write smth#half coherent. anyways i love both of them and i wish they were happy. but they aren't.#jjk#fushiguro toji#fushiguro megumi#my man toji was a runner. an absolute trackstar. child support invoices are never catching up to him
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