cyno x gn!reader

There are three unspoken rules every scholar in the Akademiya must know regarding Lord Cyno.

Firstly, no matter how bad it is, always laugh at his jokes. Do not, under any circumstances, ask him to explain the joke. Everyone will be forced to listen to an hour long analysis on what the joke is, why it’s funny, and how the sentences leading to the punchline were timed just right that it would—should—leave everyone in hysterics and gasping for breath.

Second, playing the trading card game with him will lead to varying results, usually ones that end up with the other party crying as they leave the table without their pride and dignity. Approach with caution when he has those cards in his hands.

And last, but the most important rule of all, never—and they mean never—speak of your name in a bad light. Anyone who does so can and will be found no matter the place and ears listening, and they will be forced to endure a twelve hour long lecture about the positive traits you possess and how amazing you are in general. It may seem innocuous, but throughout the entire lecture, Lord Cyno will be staring through the poor unfortunate soul and daring them to dispute his claims.

Should anyone be foolish enough as to openly mock you in front of him, they will be met with a polearm to the face and a lifetime’s worth of punishments in the form of only being allotted one hour to do every paper they will ever be assigned to make for the rest of their time as a scholar. If, under any circumstances, the scholar is unable to keep up with their deadlines, they will be kicked out of the Akademiya and labeled as a failure in society.

That one is, in fact, one of the lesser punishments Lord Cyno has met out when it comes to people insulting you with regards to your… less than average intelligence and social awareness. The harsher punishments are not for the faint of heart, and so most senior scholars resolve not to tell the new students what transpires when someone bullies you or—Archons forbid—makes you cry.

There’s a saying in the Akademiya: the fastest way to the Abyss is to make tears appear in your eyes.

It’s no exaggeration to say that the last person who did so was last seen without any light in their eyes. This is not to say that they died, no. They were, according to Lord Cyno’s words, justly and rightly punished for their transgressions against you. Perhaps he went a bit too far, but who are mere scholars to question the judgment of the General Mahamatra?

However cautious they have to be around you, there is one important thing you bring to the table: the secret fourth rule that’s more of an of advice than anything. A secret that’s passed through word of mouth, given to only those they deem worthy.

The easiest way to getting to Lord Cyno’s good graces—and, consequently, an easy path to graduating the Akademiya—is to make you laugh. An easy feat at first glance, but considering your strange humor (as proven by how you’re the only one who genuinely laughs at Cyno’s jokes), it takes a great many nights and brainstorming sessions to find the perfect joke.

But making you laugh poses its own risks. It is common fact among those in-the-know that making you laugh too hard would be a one way trip to marking them as enemy number one in the General Mahamatra’s eyes. He would see it as a challenge in usurping his place as number one funniest person in your eyes.

As of now, there is no clear way to ensure this doesn’t happen, which is why the last rule is a risk taken by only the bravest of souls.

Those are all the unspoken rules the Akademiya has that concerns Lord Cyno. This is now the end of this brief lesson. For more queries, go to Port Ormos and find an alumni named Kaveh. Best of luck.

Who in the abyss wrote my name in this stupid note? Damn scholars are name dropping every famous person they know. Be glad I’m sending this to you, Cyno, you owe me forty thousand mora and free lunch. Alhaitham locked up his pantry >:(

(Collei finds the note stashed in Cyno’s knapsack during their journey from Mondstadt to Sumeru. She resolves to never mess with whoever you are after reading its contents, sweating buckets after learning how terrifying her traveling companion truly is.)

Just another peaceful evening at Strawhat‘s

based on a story that happened in my friends group (except no one was hurt)

Love the idea of each previous hero's journey being mostly lost to time, such that each time the cycle starts again absolutely no one picks up the very obvious clues that might lead them to the hero.

Oh, you've named your blond haired blue eyed child Link, have you? That's a good name!

Oh, he's found a strange red and white maned horse he's named epona who has utterly bonded with him? How unusual!

Yes, the princess Zelda is the same age, isn't she? What a good omen for the family!

We know he doesn't talk much, but he's the sweetest lad, don't worry!

Don't fret, dearie, his wanderlust will abate when he grows up, I'm sure it won't get him in too much trouble before then.

Prodigious little swordsman, isn't he? He would make a great knight if he wanted to when he's older!

Oh? Rumours about a long forgotten temple in the woods? How strange! Are you sure it's not just the children telling stories?

Look at him in his armoured green outfit! That hat looks lovely on him - where did you find it?

Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow I have decided I must put out a Brobecks/IDKHow listening guide for the people.

For the single/Valentine-less:

Don't worry, me too.

Die Alone by the Brobecks, is an old favorite of mine and honestly iconic. (can be found on YouTube and the live versions are amazing, definitely recommend listening to those)

Sleeping Pills by the Brobecks, not related to love, but is for all my people who have issues with sleep (like me!). (can be found on YouTube)

Better Than Me by the Brobecks, title speaks for itself, song is a mood and was one of the first of their songs I liked. (can be found on all streaming platforms)

For the heartbroken:

A Letter by the Brobecks, is a breakup letter being read out with vocals and instrumentals. 10/10, and is one of my favorite Brobecks songs (can be found on YouTube)

I'll Break Your Arm by the Brobecks, honestly didn't know where to categorize this one, but it kinda fit here. Another one of my favorite Brobeck songs that will typically make it on a playlist if I want to listen to the Brobecks. (can be found on YouTube)

For the Infatuated/Obsessed:

Get help, please.

Infatuation by I Don't Know How But They Found Me, the title speaks for itself. I've been obsessed with it lately and will recommend it of course. (On all streaming platforms and was released last month!)

From the Gallows by IDKHow, amazing, brilliant, absolutely in love with it. One of my favorite tracks off Razzmatazz and this just screams obsession. (Can be found on all streaming platforms)

March 2 by the Brobecks, talks about someone who is obsessed with someone everyone tells them to leave alone. Loved this song a few years ago, but not as into it anymore. (can be found on YouTube)

If You Like It or Not by the Brobecks, fucking love this song despite not listening to it much. It just a vibe and is super danceable. (one of the few Brobecks songs on all streaming platforms!! Go stream Violent Things, it's amazing)

West of California by the Brobecks, one of my all-time favorites by the Brobecks. 10/10, will always recommend. (Sadly only on YouTube)

For those in love/Valentinee's (idk if that's a word, but IT IS NOW):

Le Velo Pour Duex by the Brobecks, absolutely love it, about Dallon Weekes' wife so it can come in this category. (On all streaming platforms)

Love at First Sight by the Brobecks, this is one is self telling, what kind of person would I be if I didn't add this??? Is super fucking cute and was honestly one of the first songs I liked by the Brobecks. (On all streaming platforms with some pretty good live performances)

City Lights by the Brobecks, is another one of my favorite Brobecks songs (definitely makes my top 3). 10/10, no notes. (Only on YouTube :,) )

Kiss Goodnight by IDKHow, is literally my favorite song by IDKHow, absolutely in love with it and would go fall in love just so I have an experience to tie to this song. (On all streaming platforms!!)

Finally, we get the opportunity to put our Spy Cards worldbuilding in a work. Though there are many questions about such things as "regulation" "how these cards are printed" "who approves a single spy card", and so on, we are here to present a bold new take: this game is based like 60% on obscure roach memory-reading tech that got turned into a card game with absolutely No card-game-related intentions included in the original tech and most of the card vetting is just from the fact that there aren't too many card printers out there and most of them make cards that need to be translated from Roach.

Strictly speaking, as a card game, it is not a terribly good or well-balanced one. It's popular primarily because of a mix of the difficulty involved in getting the data for high-level cards, the fun of seeing the variety of monsters that can be brought to the table, and the incredible amounts of ham and drama that goes into specifically the professional scene.

Yusei being autistic is not even a headcanon to me it's just canon.

ok but WHAT IF there WAS a Foul Legacy card in TGC Genius Invocation because some of the cards are of enemies y'know? there's a Mirror Maiden and a Fatui Agent and even Maguu Kenki, so pretend for a second that somehow a Foul Legacy card was made. everyone else thinks it's just a cool character card- hard to find though, since only a few were made (people thought it'd be too scary for the kids and wouldn't sell well)- and one day, as thanks for paying whenever he forgot his wallet and just being a good friend in general, Zhongli gifts you one of the special few holographic Foul Legacy cards. you've got such a huge smile on your face when you see it, since you didn't even know it existed due to just recently learning how to play TGC, fingers gently tracing over the beautifully drawn features of your secret Abyssal lover. you bid Zhongli goodbye and thank him again before rushing home, the card safely bundled in your pocket- you haven't even looked at Foul Legacy's moveset but you *know* you're going to add him to your deck, even if you have to rework everything else in it. you burst through the door and quickly yank off your shoes, running upstairs to your room where Childe's buried under the blankets. you gently nudge him awake, cooing at the way he mrrps sleepily and blinks up at you, perking up when he sees the excitement glittering in your eyes. you perch yourself on the bed and tell him to close his eye- no peeking!- before setting the card into his outstretched hand. Childe stares at the card, mouth slightly open in shock, and you lean in to plant a kiss on the edge, carefully avoiding his fangs. this seems to kickstart his brain out of short circuiting and immediately he chirps in sheer delight, holding the card with the tips of his claws and delicately turning it over to examine it from every angle. he loves the way it shines, like rainbow fractals, and the artistry imbued in the picture- although in your humble opinion it's nowhere near as pretty as the real thing, and Childe feels himself blush, crimson upon crimson. he carefully hands it back to you, watching as you take out your deck and spread the rest of your cards onto the bed, intent on building a new deck centered around Foul Legacy. there's a little tug on your shirt and you turn, making room for Childe to snuggle his head into your lap, beginning to purr when you scritch between his horns. there's comfortable silence as you sort out your cards, occasionally asking for Childe advice to be met with clicks and trills until your new, better deck is ready. so now whenever you play a round of TGC, it's like you have Childe here with you in the form of a card :)

Oh hello! How are you feeling I was just wondering if you ever watched Pokémon who did you actually *ship* with ash? I was a long time fan sense 2004 I hope your doing great

Hello anon! Unfortunately I was about 6 months too old to be into Pokemon when it started airing, and I've never played any of the video games, either, so I am like, uniquely unqualified for this question!

I asked my little sister who IS into Pokemon, though, and this is what she said: "He doesn't have ships. He has rivals. And the friends he made along the way."

I have to admit I never even imagined witches to be evil until I came here on tumblr and read some of y'alls analysis of literature and other media. The whole evil laugh and brewing potions did not connect to being evil in my mind ever. I was just raised with everyone around me thinking witches were cool as hell.

Tried to find something and ended up skimming the Rabbit/Alex thread where Alex kills someone/Rabbit cuts him off and it's never not funny how offended Alex gets about being called easy

Saegusa Ibara icons in Leonie at Dawn! Please credit if using, likes/reblogs appreciated as well!

Part of my Enstars Edit Roulette challenge.

sleepy mr baby + other random misc images

WHAT THE HELL NOBODY EVER TOLD ME TWO OF MY FAVE VILLAGERS GOT A LINE STICKER TOGETHER. ive loved tabby for YEARS like since 2019 at LEAST. and these stickers are from 2018 how did i not know !!! i love tabby and boots so much 😭😭😭 TABBY AND BOOTS ANIMAL CROSSING I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH OOMFS FOREVER AND EVER

feeling uncooperative with the prompts in the meme. between cheech and old pat which one would survive a joint venture into a thrift store? and which of them would you convert into a minor league baseball player if you had a magic wand

God yeah I reblogged that list and then read the questions and was like...this list is wack lol. Anyway THANK YOU these questions are much more important and gets really into the Hearts and Minds of these men.

Who survives a joint venture to the thrift store: Old Pat. It's Old Pat. Man has looked 40 years old since he hit puberty and has just kept growing older. Old man is in his element with the real senior citizens. However it is very important to me to mention that they're going to a bespoke thrift store for like farm and cowboy shit. Cheech could handle normal thrifting. Cheech would be great at normal thrifting. But take him to a store where it's JUST vintage farming equipment and cowboy leather shit and that city boy is going to panic. Old Pat is having a blast looking at pieces of metal that clearly spark joy in his construction worker heart but make NO sense to Cheech, son of academics, WHL overager. Cheech agreed to come to the store to push the cart but now he is manfully deep breathing while Old Pat examines a metal thing with rings. Is it for horses? Is it for wearing? Is it a BDSM thing? Do you put it on a tractor? Cheech is scared. (It is literally just a beval bit.) These stores don't exist in the Bay Area but maybe they do in idk Manitoba or Michigan or whatever. Or Gilroy, where all our dreams come true.

Minor league baseball player: the thing is, we're on Sieloff Watch (KING. ANNOUNCE YOUR RETIREMENT OR SIGN SOMEWHERE BEFORE I THROW UP) and Cheech is having his hot girl summer. So I'm inclined to say Cheech, just bc I think he has a shot in hell of making it OUT of minor league baseball. Also he is handsome like a baseball player. He has the looks for it. Not that you have to be handsome to be a baseball player but it helps. Can you imagine that man in the humid outfield of some nameless town in the San Joaquin Valley, fighting for his life in the game, the top three buttons of his jersey are undone, his curls are wilting, the uhhhh idk Fresno Nightcrawlers, AA for some cursed af West Coast team, are down 9-7 in the 8th, when the skies open up and it starts pouring...the stands, already two-thirds empty on a Tuesday night clear, while the teams run for cover under the downpour. Nick stands in the outfield and tilts his head toward the sky, feeling, for a moment, relief and peace.

My ANYC haul

I bought some spicy stuff which you can see under the cut

I wish that music players on blogs still worked. If they did, I would put this on loop.