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descendant-of-truth · 1 year

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The data characters in Coded are endlessly fascinating to me because like... they're so much like the originals. But everything is shifted just enough to the left that they feel different, and a little off if you think about it long enough.

Probably the main thing that stands out is that they all start out with different "base memories" from each other, if you will. The only thing Data Sora knows is that he grew up on the islands with his friends, but Data Riku has an encyclopedic knowledge of everything that happened in KH1. Data Namine knows what happened in CoM, and Data Roxas remembers up to the end of the KH2 prologue.

None of them are caught up to the present. The events of KH2 don't exist to them, because those events are written in a different journal.

But you can't even say that Data Sora is "just" Sora from before he started his journey, because almost as soon as the game starts, there's something wrong with that picture.

It's a little hard to explain, but Sora seems... remarkably unconcerned with his surroundings. He accepts whatever Mickey tells him without a second thought, even if he admits (still much too casually) that he doesn't understand what's going on.

(Not to mention that the giant, eye-catching blocks around him are things he doesn't even acknowledge until prompted by Mickey to "look for anything odd.")

But probably the biggest difference between the two Soras when they're starting out is that the journey isn't personal for Data Sora. He doesn't dwell on the islands being lost, and more importantly, he isn't looking for his friends. He doesn't even think about his friends. The first time Riku's name comes out of his mouth is when he literally shows up in front of him.

The early parts of Coded really make the "data" part of Data Sora apparent, I think. He's kind and brave like Sora, he has his mannerisms down, but he feels a bit hollow. There's nothing that's really important to him yet; he just goes along with things as they happen to him.

And then he loses the Keyblade and Riku at the same time, which is the first event to prompt genuine distress from him that he doesn't quickly bounce back from.

This is when Data Sora goes from a passive protagonist to more of an active one - something that the original Sora was from the start. He finally disobeys a request from Mickey, going to Hollow Bastion by himself in order to save Riku.

It's only there that he finally starts to process what having friends means, though, courtesy of Donald and Goofy's guidance... which the original Sora had ever since Traverse Town, by the way. Mickey wasn't a bad mentor to Data Sora, necessarily, but he was a lot more objective-focused, and thus didn't do a lot to help foster a deeper understanding of certain things in him.

Another thing I find interesting - the original Sora lost his Keyblade before going through Hollow Bastion, too, but the way they each get them back is different. Sora makes a rousing speech about how his friends are his power, and his conviction in that summons it back:

While Data Sora summons his back in a moment of fear, and a desire to protect his friends from being crushed:

He even fights a possessed Riku like Sora did, but the dynamic between them is much different on both ends. Originally, Sora was really fed up with Riku, and didn't know the full extent that he was being manipulated. (Also Riku stole the Keyblade and his friends by extension from him, so he's understandably kind of mad about that)

Meanwhile, Riku's villainous sass was on full display, mocking Sora for having a weak heart and saying he would get destroyed by the darkness. This was probably the worst terms they've been on with each other.

In Coded, there's no bad blood between them, and Data Sora knows exactly how much Riku isn't acting of his own accord. So his tone becomes one of unambiguous concern, while Riku wants so much to not fight Sora that he asks to be destroyed instead.

And because Ansem just... doesn't seem to exist in the datascape, Sora is able to bring Riku back with him much faster than the original could, so the motivation that made CoM and KH2 possible in the first place is gone entirely.

Data Sora's journey leads him to the same places as Sora's, and the story beats are similar, but his experiences are unmistakably different. Which is what makes the way Data Riku talks about things especially fascinating.

He makes a lot of references to the original events of KH1, and talks like he and Data Sora are inextricable from it. "I always seem to give in," "you once turned into a Heartless," "you would have saved us." He never completely separates the events of the datascape from those in the real world, treating Riku's failings as his own, saying that Data Sora lost his heart and doesn't remember it.

Data Roxas and Namine are the same way - it's actually Sora who's the odd one out, who doesn't give his original a second thought most of the time. It's only when other people attribute Sora's experiences to him that he, somewhat mistakenly, adopts that information into his worldview.

(No, Sora, that's not your Heartless. No, you weren't on a journey to find Riku and Kairi. That was a different guy. You don't even know Kairi for some reason. Add him to the list of people that live in Sora's shadow along with Roxas and Xion)

I don't know what the conclusion is here exactly, just that there's something about the way the data characters are so different but similar at the same time to the people they're based on that's really engaging to me.

I mean, one of Sora's biggest fears seems to be turning into someone else, or just being a copy of another person, as we saw in DDD. Data Sora is a Sora who's a copy, and he's kind of just... fine with that. He's content with what he has. Even when his memories are a complete mess by the end of the game, he accepts the situation as it is and keeps moving forward.

Anyway I could keep going but for now I'll leave it at "and that's why the data characters should show up again in future games"

#kingdom hearts #kh coded #kh recoded #data sora #data riku #analysis #meta #This was mostly just an excuse for me to talk about how good Data Sora is again whoops #but honestly he deserves all the appreciation he can get

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animentality · 1 year

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obsessed with an old video game called one hour one life, in which you live the entire life of a human being, who ages a year every minute, in the course of an hour.

you're born to other players. you start as a baby that has to be taken care of until you grow up. then you have to work with them to build a community, creating tools and settlements and farms. then you get older and older, watching your hard work pay off as your community grows, and you have children.

you teach them how to do the things you do. let them reap the benefits of your hard labor, and the labor of your community.

and then you die.

and then you're reborn again, if you choose to play again.

and it's really quite fascinating, because...im ngl. i'm a little emotional right now because i just watched CallMeKevin's video on One Hour One Life, and...

He had this mom, who taught him how to play the game. Was very patient and kind-hearted, took care of him and gave him supplies and helped him explore, answered all his questions, showed him where everything was, and how the world worked. Then, when he was grown up, she said I'm going to die soon...so goodbye.

And then she died.

And he was actually sad, because he really grew to like this person, like they were actually his mom.

And it was really cool, because she did come back in the form of a baby. She walked up to him and is like hey I was your mom, baby.

And then she watched him die.

And it was like....I dunno.

Sad, hopeful, sweet?

Just the idea of, your mom took care of you since you were born, she was with you until she died, and then she was still there for you, when you died.

And it got me thinking about humanity and human life in general, how that's really how a society works.

You're born. You're raised. Taken care of. Then, you grow. You're taught what you need to know. You build. You work. You connect. You dedicate time and effort to your crafts and your civilization, so that your children and their children will reap the benefits. and when you die, you just hope you taught your kids everything they needed to know.

you gave them all the tools for success too, literally in this case, since all equipment and settlements stay.

and you hope they can continue on without you...that is, until you respawn.

but there's something hopeful in that mechanic too.

this idea of maybe none of us are new to this earth. maybe we keep coming back, in some form or other. maybe no one ever truly disappears, and as long as we continue on, in service of one another, then things will be ok, and we'll meet old friends and family that we thought we lost.

anyway, i'm being silly, but.

i am fascinated by video games.

they really can be something thought provoking and profound...and also funny.

because that video is fucking funny too.

i love callmekevin.

#callmekevin #one hour one life

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ccarrot · 4 months

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I've never watched ninjago but I'm interested in toxic ships. If you don't mind (and no pressure btw!), what makes llorumi interesting?

Llorumi's an intersting ship for me, especially because of how toxic and abusive it is coming from a chdrens show that i grew up watching. So. Strap in i actually have a lot of feelings about this ship. And YES i perfer to consider them a ship in romantic and occasionally platonic context because genuinely its fascinating, and also there IS appeal and catharsis to be found in bad harmful ship dynamics sometimes. Especially if its one very unique and uncharacteristic for a show like Ninjago.

Lloyd Garmadon is effectively the main character of Ninjago:MoS, right? In season 8, Harumi, who's apparently the princess of Ninjago gets introduced as a possible love interest for him.

Turns out that Harumi is actually not the sweet and friendly damsel with a badass streak that the Ninja thought she was, she is actually the shadowy cult leader of this biker gang called "the Sons of Garmadon" and she is hell bent on resurrecting Lloyd's dead father, Lord Garmadon who is an evil dark lord who died a while back, *but not before he was magically un-eviled. Garmadon was evil because he got bit by a demon snake, the Great Devourer(put a pin on this snake because its important later). Essentially Harumi is mega *obsessed* with the demon version of his dead dad and wants to summon him from beyond the grave.

Got all that? Ultimately Harumi's plan to bring back Lord Garmadon works and she manipulates the situation so that Garmadon nearly kills his son *on live television*,and then seemingly kills the other Ninja, his de-aged uncle, and destroys their ship. And then Harumi and Garmadon take over the entirety of Ninjago.

This entire world domination plan is because Harumi wants revenge on Lloyd and is obsessed with his Dad. Why, you ask? Because in season 1, Lloyd originally released the Serpentine and Pythor which culminated in the Great Devourer get let loose on Ninjago again but this time it was BIG so it was collapsing buildings and stuff and one building it collapsed had Harumi and her birth parents, and her parents DIED, and the Ninja werent able to stop the snake, BUT Garmadon was (** note that Lloyd was at most 11 at this time, by the time s8 haplens he's like 16.)

So basically Harumi launched this elaborate plan to destroy Lloyd's life AND make his dead dad love her more, and did this all while decieving him into being in a romantic relationship with her. Already verry toxic right? IT GETS WORSE.

Harumi actually fucking DIES. In her final moments, Harumi realized the literal horror she unleashes on ninjago and REGRETS IT and she dies the same way her birth parents did. And while the building's collapsing she and Lloyd make eye contact and theres this like "i wish things didnt turn out this way" being communicated between them because BELIEVE IT OR NOT Harumi too did carch feelings for Lloyd through all of that manipulation and mind games. Insane.

After the building falls and the Big Final Fight that Lloyd naturally wins, he GOES TO LOOK FOR HER BODY he doesn't end uo finding it. Because Lloyd, despite the trauma Harumi put him through, he cant help but care about her.. even in later seasons its very obvious that he's not over both his romantic feelings and trauma about Harumi. His fear of that relationship keeps haunting him, his feelings and regrets keep coming back. This is actually a part of Lloyds characterization that i think is really special, but the way that this trauma really festers and makes him a lot more... hm messy. I like that. Lloyd is uniquely messy in a way that none of the other ninja's character arcs are.

Okok i gotta address Crystallized now because it explores more of Harumi's feelings about Lloyd. So to catch you up to speed, Harumi gets ressurected by Ninjago's equivent of Satan and is tasked with summoning him to the mortal realm. At some point she manages to capture Lloyd, and tries to convince him to join her side. Obviously it doesnt happen but their exchanges highlight that they still are romantically inclined towards eo. Harumi kinda gets up into Lloyds business in a flirty way and in turn Lloyds very forward about the fact that "you should join MY side instead, bc i know you dont want to be the villain again". I wont say that crystallized handled this point of the relationship WELL but i think their desire to mend this tear between them is really interesting.

SO. TLDR? i like Lloyd and Harumi's extremly messy and unhealthy dynamic. Harumi is absolutley an abuser and Lloyd is her victim. They care about each other and they might even think its love, but even though there are feelings, they dont matter because of what they're relationship actually is. I think its Silly to regard them in a sibling way or even platonic for the most part dynamic, bc -andI dont want to give TOO much credit to the N'MoS writing team- but Llorumi is a canon ship that was written to be abusive, and a key part of the main Hero's trauma. I think erasing the ship's romantic implications diminishes the sheer *weight* it has on Lloyd's character arc. This was Lloyd's first experience with romance and it *scarred* him. Thats's fascinating.

Tbh i genuinely like both of Harumi and Lloyd's character's a LOT. I think its cool to erase the abusive parts of their ship and make them wholesome for an AU, i think its extra cool to explore the abusive parts of their relationship further either in the past, or if they get together in the present, while also recognizing the fact that its toxic and not something worth aspiring for.

I personally like the specific flavor of them getting together and ultimately splitting, but not after hashing things from their past out and being able to find some kind of closure for that pain. Idk.

Honestly i love llorumi so much and i really think that shipping them shouldn't be as demonized as it is in this fandom, esp considering that so MANY other cartoon fandoms have very popular and very similar ships. I appreciate that Ninjago tried to portray an abusive romantic relationship that actually held weight after it was over.

#also i feel like a ton of llorumi hate is centered on harumi hat specifically. which is involve a good deal of misogyny among other things #n e ways. i think its a ship with merit. your allowed to ship toxic things its valid.#i have a ton of things to say more but ill dace it for another time.#sorry for this mess.#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #princess harumi

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hellfiremunsonn · 2 years

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Hellfire Club

I do not allow my writing to be republished anywhere other than my own blog without my consent

Rated 18 plus. MINORS DNI.

Eddie munson AU swearing, sub fem, dom Eddie, fingering, female orgasm, praise kink? (if there’s anything else I should tag lemme know)

You moved to Hawkins about four months ago and it was quite the change from being so used to living in the city. You grew to love it and eventually felt that slowly it was becoming 'home'. It was hard to fit in those first few months especially starting your senior year at a whole new school but your now best friends were eager to help you around. You spent your lunch and most of your classes with them. There was Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, and Max Mayfield. Then there was Will Byers, Johnathan Byers and Jane Hopper but we called her El instead. They only recently moved back to Hawkins so you didn't know them as well as the rest of the gang. There were also Nancy Wheeler, who was Mikes older sister, who was dating Johnathan but she never was around for lunch because she was always off studying somewhere with Johnathan or interviewing people for the school paper. Robin Buckley sat with us on occasion but she spent most of her time god knows where. And then there was Steve Harrington. He graduated last year but still hung out with all of you when he wasn't working or trying to take girls on dates. Key word being trying. Last but not least there was Eddie Munson, a victory lapper of his senior year, and leader of the Dungeons and Dragons club they named 'Hellfire'. He was very intimidating and you honestly tried your best to keep quiet around him in fear of him outing the fascination you had with him. He was just so unapologetically himself, he was loud, and goofy, a little clumsy, and goddam good looking.

On this particular day the guys were bugging you to join their DnD campaign for the night because Lucas couldn't make it because of his championship basketball game. Steve had a date to the same game, and Robin was in the band so she had to attend and thus you being the only one left for them to bug. They even tried asking Nancy. They didn't want to upset Eddie knowing how eccentric he could be so they didn't want to deal with having to ask him to postpone it.

You leaned into your hands, fisting your hair as they all spoke at once.

"C'mon please! We are literally begging you, we will never ask you to do anything else, please, c'mon" Dustin pleaded actually getting onto his hands and knees next to you. Loosening the grip you had on your hair you opened your eyes and gave him a side glance. Sighing you agreed and the three boys jumped up from the table high-fiving each other.

"You are a goddess, no a queen, you're amazing, thank you so much" Dustin said holding you by the shoulders.

"Save it Henderson" You said pushing his hand off of you with a laugh. They sure were annoying but you couldn't ask for a better group of friends. "I don't know how you put up with them" You said looking at El and Max on the other side of the able. "Its difficult believe me" Max said rolling her eyes briefly looking across the cafeteria at Lucas who was sitting at the popular jocks table. She had broken up with him during the summer from what you remember being told but you could tell she still had feelings for him. You give El a quick 'she's doing it again' look and she gave a sad 'I know' look back. You had tried to talk to max about it every once in a while but she was always quite defensive about it. You sighed going back to the book you were reading before being rudely interrupted by Dustins begging.

It was The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald that you had to read for English but had already read it a few times before. As a hopeless romantic it easily became one of your favourites. Biting on the end of your pen a little you rocked your head back and fourth absorbing the familiar words in front of you when a loud bang on the cafeteria table shocked you out of your thoughts.

"Afternoon ladies and gentlemen" There he was.

You were almost hopeful he wouldn't show up to lunch today but the tall man stood at the end of the table both hands pressed firmly on the edge. "She's going to fill in for Lucas tonight" Dustin huffed out quickly.

Your stomach turned with nerves wondering what Eddie was going to say about it. He tilted his head slightly, rising his eyes to yours. "Interesting" He said. "Never pegged you for the kind of person to be willing to give this fantasy world a shot, you're always so busy reading" He said gesturing to the old paperback in your hands. "I've played before" you said quietly trying to avoid eye contact but those dark eyes seemed to be piercing a hole through you. A large smile spread across his face. "I've only played once so I'm still new to it" you mumble in a panic not knowing what he was expecting from you. You didn't want him to think you were some expert on the game.

"No worries princess I'll show you the ropes" He slapped the table in excitement as he plopped himself down onto his seat stealing one of Dustins fries in the process.

You felt Eddies eyes on you for the rest of the lunch period but tried your best to stay focused on the book but you found your eyes just skimming the words without actually reading them.

When the final school bell rang you shoved your science binder into your locker and closed it quickly before running off to find one of the guys. You spotted Mike and El down the hall and jogged over to them. "Hey Mike what time is Hellfire?" you asked leaning up against the locker next to him and El. "In like a couple hours, we usually go home and eat dinner first and then come back" He said rummaging through his backpack.

"Okay so should I come pick you guys up?" You offered. You were one of the gang who had somehow managed to get a shitty car. Thankful it could get you from point A to point B and it had saved Steve and Nancy from driving everyone now that you could.

"Yeah that would be cool of you" Mike said closing his locker and giving El a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing her hand. She let out a small giggle as her cheeks reddened

"Oh and where is it?" You asked.

"The theatre club room, with all the stage stuff in it next to Mr. Morrisons class" He said.

"Got it thanks"

You walked to my car quickly hoping to avoid any of the popular kids. They didn't bother you too much but when they did it really stung. Luckily they weren't around the parking lot when you emerged from the squeaky metal doors of the school.

The drive home was short but always peaceful, but today it barely gave you a moment of peace and relaxation before what your night was about to turn into.

"Mom I'm home!" you shouted from the front door kicking off your shoes and making your way up stairs. "Hi honey! I'm in the kitchen if you need me" She shouted back. You had a great relationship with your parents honestly and you loved them a lot. They were some of the most understanding and accepting people you knew.

Once in your room you threw your backpack onto the floor and rummaged around for your shower supplies before hurrying into the shower. You knew you still had a few hours to kill before you had to head back to the school but you wanted to make sure you looked presentable for it. You also felt like you had to impress Eddie, like you had to prove to him that you belonged there when god knows you were the shyest one in the group and you knew Eddie was well aware of that, and would definitely try to push as many as your buttons he could.

You washed your hair throughly, giving your scalp a good extra scrub and shaved anything you felt needed to be smooth... Including your bikini line even though you were sure no one was going to see you that close or naked below the waist, but you felt like you had to be prepared just in case.

Your clothing of choice was an old band t-shirt and some ripped black jeans. Throwing on a black leather jacket on top hoping it would appease the Dungeon master himself.

"Well don't you look cute!" Your dad said leaning in the doorframe of your bedroom. "Where are you off to tonight?"

"I told Dustin I would take Lucas's place in the hellfire club tonight. Eddie has been planing this campaign for weeks now and they didn't want to let him down"

He chuckled. "Well have fun, and be safe, don't stay out too late okay?"

"I'll try" You said giving him a wink. He knew you never stayed out too late and it was a running joke around the house whenever you did have plans and actually left the house. It was almost celebrated.

"Love ya kiddo!" He said loudly as he descending down stairs to probably join your mom in the kitchen.

Most parents would cringe at the thought of their daughter not only going to a cub filled with boys but a club to play Dungeons and Dragons. The game from hell apparently but it wasn't like that at all.

You pulled up to the wheelers house and gave your horn two light honks signalling that you were out front and the three boys stumbled out of the house only a few minutes later.

"You fucking ready?!" Dustin yelled hopping into the front seat while Mike and Will climbed into the back.

"As ready as I'll ever be" You said forcing a smile.

Driving back to school after-hours felt strange, like you weren't supposed to be there and were breaking in, but it wasn't a secret that the club was happening.

The halls were kind of creepy with half the lights turned off. You picked at the skin on your thumb trying to calm your nerves but the closer you got to the classroom the more your stomach started to flip.

The loud rock music playing from the room in the distance only got louder as we approached. I stopped in the doorway as the rest of them walked in and watched as Eddie stood up on his throne at the end of the table. One foot on the arm rest as he played an air guitar to the music blasting from the other side of the room.

I bit my lip tilting my head as I analyzed him. He sure was something.

"Munson!" Dustin yelled, snapping Eddie out of his musical trance, and a large smile spread across his face. From the other side of the room Mike turned down the music and then joined the others at the table.

Eddie jumped off of his thrown and slapped his hands together in a slow clap. "well well well the newbie actually showed up" he said taking a few strides towards me.

"Even if she bailed she offered to drive us so she had to come anyway" Mike laughed while setting up the table. Three other people joined and I recognized them from Eddies band. I had never seen them play or even heard anything from them but had seen them with Eddie often.

"Well lady and gentlemen" he said turning swiftly his long hair flowing over his shoulders . "Let us begin"

The night was filled with screaming and laughing and so much fun. Everyone was quite eager to make sure I felt comfortable and understood what I was doing and even Eddie would wait patiently as I collected my thoughts of what to do next and he seemed almost proud when I was starting to get the hang of it. By the end of the night we were all sweaty and definitely a little loopy from so much commotion.

"Andy, Nancy is picking us up so you can just go straight home instead of having to go all the way past your house to get us home first" Mike said swinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"Oh" I said a little shocked "Thanks for saving me some time" I said sitting forward in my chair, my hands folded in my lap going back to the rough skin on my thumb. I wasn't sure when to leave now because I didn't have to leave with the rest of them but I also didn't want to overstay my welcome with Eddie and his bandmates.

It was quieter now and so I rose from my chair to the other side of the room where my bag laid across one of the discarded school desks. Grabbing one of the straps it slid off the table, a few contents of my bag spilling onto the floor. I groaned rolling my eyes as I crouched down onto the floor to gather my items back together. Reaching for the the last item I leaned forward onto my hands and knees grabbing it from under the desk.

"That's a view I could get used to" I heard from behind me.

It felt like my throat had closed as I leaned back onto my knees and stood up with the help of the desk. My cheeks were hot and I didn't want to turn around but when I did everyone had left except for Eddie. He stood leaning against his throne, the soft spotlight above him lighting him up making him look almost godly.

"You probably say that to all the girls" I said softly pulling my bag up over my shoulder.

He slapped his chest imitating that he had been shot with a dramatic head drop.

"I'm wounded newbie" He said pushing himself off of the chair to stand with his arms folded across his chest.

"I have a name you know" I said scuffing the tip of my shoe across the tile floor.

"I'm aware" He said proudly. "But nicknames are so much fun"

"Newbie is a shit nickname" I said finally looking back at him.

He slapped his chest again. "Again you wound me" He said taking another step closer to me. But this time when his foot touched the ground there was a light crunching noise and we both looked down to see what he had stepped on.

My whole body heated as I realized it was my packet of birth control. It must have fallen out of my bag with the other items but I didn't notice.

"Oh um that's mine" I said walking over quickly to grab it. but just before my hand could touch the tinfoil packaging Eddies foot came back down to over it. I was now Kneeling in front of him, my hand almost touching his beaten up combat boot when he crouched down in front of me making it harder to avoid his dark eyes again.

He slipped the packaging from under his shoe and pretended to examine it throughly. "Huh" he said.

"Give it to me" I said trying to swipe it from his hands but he was faster.

"That's not a very nice way of asking for things sweetheart" he chuckled. "Try again"

"Can I have it back please" I said chewing on my bottom lip. Something about him bossing me around started a fire in the pit of my stomach and a fire a little bit lower than I'd like to admit.

He held it between his two fingers. "I'll keep this in mind" he said tilting the package towards me. I grabbed it quickly and shoved it deep into my bag. Getting up I started to walk towards the door. "So do you let all the boys cum in you?" he said in a cocky tone. I stopped in my tracks and spun on my heel slowly. "Excuse me?" I said in shock.

"You know" He said shrugging. "The birth control" he said gesturing to my bag that I clutched tightly to my arm.

"Why does it matter?" I said annoyed. Why did he just assume because I was on birth control that I was letting a bunch of guys finish in me?

"Cause if I was to fuck you on this table right now I'd want to be the only one filling you up"

I choked on my spit in an attempt to swallow and he laughed at my widen eyes and my mouth agape.

"You look pretty with your mouth open like that" He said swiping one of his ringed fingers across his bottom lip.

I stood frozen as he approached me again. I didn't want to admit to him let alone myself that the words coming out of his mouth was indeed making it hard for me to keep still. I stood with my feet close together squishing my thighs together as best as I could without making it obvious.

"Sounds like you've got a crush on me Munson" I said trying to take control of the situation.

"Oh absolutely I do" He said as a matter of fact.

Again I was shocked. There was no way that Eddie Munson was even remotely interested in me. I was the quietest one of his friends, friends and never spoke more than four words to him a day. Yet I found myself constantly day dreaming and wondering what his hands would feel like on my bare skin, and if his rings would be cold to the touch. The first day I met him when he took my hand and kissed the top of it while introducing himself he took a spot in my heart but I shoved it down as deep as I could because I didn't know him and he was the guy's good friend. So I kept my distance and avoided him as best as I could, which was hard considering he is who he is. "Well unfortunately I have to get going" I said turning away from him.

"Dream of me princess" he said with a chuckle.

I hurried to my car turning the key in the ignition and drove off as fast as I could. I wasn't sure if it was to get away from Eddie or my own thoughts.

Who did he think he was? Thinking he could just talk to me like that, to anyone like that! My hands gripped the steering wheel turning my knuckles white the harder I squeezed. I should really say something to him, I should turn around drive to his stupid trailer and kick the door down. But what would I actually say when I got there? He'd look at me with those soul seeing eyes and I'd forget why I even drove there in the first place. "Ugh!" I slammed one hand on my steering wheel in frustration. How could he have so much power over me. Yet somehow minutes later I was turning onto the dusty path into the trailer park. I had only been here once before when picking Max up for school so I knew which trailer was Eddies but I had never seen the inside of it before.

I pulled up to his trailer a little more aggressively then I meant and ripped my keys out of the ignition. Swinging my door open quickly I got out rushing towards the few metal steps to the trailer when the door swung open hitting my arm briefly before a small frame stumbled into me causing me to fall backwards scuffing both my elbows off the ground. My eyes closed briefly while I braced for impact and when I opened them Chrissy Cunningham was laid on top of me.

"Chrissy?" I said. "What are you doing here" I questioned pushing her backwards and helping her up. A small sting hitting just below my knee. I winced but continued to look at Chrissy. Her doe eyes wide and probably in shock expecting no one to see her here, considering she was popular and on the cheerleading team.

"Nothing, and if you say anything to anyone I'll be sure to make your life a living nightmare" She turned on her heel and sped off quickly and I watched her in confusion as she faded into the distance. Furrowing my brows I turned my head back to the trailer in front of me and realized Eddie was standing in the door way looking down at me still sitting on the ground. "Couldn't get enough of me huh?" He said smugly as he jumped down in front of me holding out a hand to help me up. I grabbed it and let him get me to my feet and he didn't let go until he thought I was steady enough. Wiping my arms and legs of the dust I was now covered in I scowled. "What was Chrissy doing here" I asked with a little more jealousy in my voice than expected.

"business" He said watching me continue to dust myself off. I winced again dusting my legs off knowing I must have cut myself on something while falling. "Are you going to stand there and watch me or are you going to invite me in?" I questioned.

Eddie smiled as he took a step to the side making a dramatic gesture for me to enter the trailer before him. I stepped in hesitantly not knowing what to expect to see but it was actually quite typical. Scattered clothes and dishes, empty beer cans littered the floor, it smelt kind of old and stale but almost comforting because it's what Eddie slightly smelled like. "So what 'business' did you have to attend to with Chrissy Cunningham?"

"She wanted weed" he said shrugging while he slumped down onto the worn sofa.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Weed? Chrissy doesn't do that stuff"

"Well I guess she does now" he said laughing.

The intrusive thought that entered my mind was that Chrissy maybe got into weed from spending time with Eddie, secret time with him and I began wondering if they were sleeping together. I began chewing on my bottom lip while I continued to look around attempting to distract myself from Eddies eyes watching me as I explored the small space. "Where's your uncle?" I asked quietly examining a magazine that was on the small kitchen counter.

"Working somewhere" He said with a sigh. "He's not here very often"

I nodded slowly.

"You bite your lip when you're nervous you know" He said breaking the silence. "You pick at your thumb as well"

I let my lip slide out from under my teeth and my hands instinctively hid behind my back. "I'm not nervous" I said faking confidence.

"Whatever you say princess. Are you going to tell me why you're here or are you just going to stand in the middle of my home and stare at all my belongings?" He said leaning forward resting his head in his hands. I turned towards him walking over to him when I tripped over my untied shoelace falling onto my hands and knees in front of him.

He stifled a laugh. "Am I going to have to keep you in a bubble?" He said reaching forward helping me up once again. "You gotta stop getting onto your knees in front of me or else I'm going to continue to have some explicit thoughts"

"Stop that" I said angrily sitting down next to him. "You can't keep saying stuff like that"

"Why does it turn you on?" He said bringing a piece of his hair up to his face and hid behind it.

"I'm sure you wish it did" I said lying. "I didn't like the birth control comment" I admitted. "It made me feel gross and like you thought of me as someone who just slept with a load of guys and let them cum in me" I said making a grossed out face at the thought.

"I'm sorry I offended you with that, I was just trying to bug you"

"Thank you for apologizing" I said fumbling with my hands in my lap.

"That's not why you're really here though is it" he asked glancing at me.

"I honestly don't know why I'm here, I was just driving and ended up here, and then I saw Chrissy and I don't know" I said trailing off. Annoyed I shrugged my leather jacket off to inspect my burning elbows from falling and as I expected both were scrapped.

"Shit" Eddie said grabbing one of my arms and pulling it towards him. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" He said getting up and walking to the other end of the trailer. He came back with a couple bandaids and a damp face cloth. "C'mere" he said motioning for me to scoot closer to him. I bent my arm resting my head on my hand while Eddie carefully dabbed at my elbows making sure they were clean enough for his liking before smoothing the bandaids over the scapes. Leaning back he smiled at his work clearly proud of himself. "You're cured my dear" He said clapping his hands together. "I think you're forgetting something" I teased.

"What could I possibly be forgetting?" He questioned.

I bent both my elbows this time looking back and fourth between them before giving him a small pout. "You have to kiss them better"

"How silly of me" He said smiling. He slid off the couch next to me and knelt in front of me, his hands touching my thighs as he opened my legs slightly to shift his body between them. Taking one arm at a time he planted a soft kiss to each of them while never breaking eye contact. My heart was pounding and I instinctively went to press my thighs together squishing Eddie slightly before realizing what I was doing. He licked his lips smiling while tilting his head to the side. "You like me being between your legs newbie?"

"I have a name" I reminded him.

He chuckled. "That you do princess" he said sitting back slightly.

Heat rose through my body as I leaned forward pulling him to me by the collar of his jacket crashing my lips into his. He fell backwards and I straddled him quickly. His hands held the sides of my face kissing me back harshly. They were sloppy and wet, desperate kisses. I couldn't believe what I was doing and how my body was reacting but it felt so good I didn't want to stop any time soon. I couldn't believe he really did have so much power over me. "Fuck you Munson" I breathed against his mouth. One of his hands shifted to my hair and at the base of my neck he pulled it making my head lean back and away from him.

"What was that?" He said. His eyes darker then before, his pupils so large you could barely see the actual colour of his eyes. "I said 'fuck you Munson" I giggled repeating myself.

"I don't think that's very nice of you" He said gripping my hair a little harder making a small groan of protest leave my lips. "Open your mouth" He ordered and I obliged, opening my mouth and sticking my tongue out in front of him. He pursed his lips together before letting a thin string of saliva fall from his mouth and onto my exposed tongue. "Swallow it" he said holding my chin with his other hand while I closed my mouth and swallowed. "Good girl" He said smiling. A small moan escaped my mouth in response to his praise. "C'mere" He said helping my up and leading me back over to the couch behind us and sat down gesturing for me to sit between his legs with my back pressed to his chest. Moving my hair off of my neck he peppered small kisses down the exposed skin sucking and nipping at it every so often. "Lean back on me" He said pulling my shoulders back so I would relax into him. His hands slid down my sides until reaching the top of my jeans, his fingers sliding into the waist band of them making small circles on my hips. "Mmm" I said tilting my head back into his shoulder. "More" I whispered.

"What was that?" He cooed in my ear.

"I want more" I said reaching my hands behind me and tugged on some of his hair.

"What is it that you want" He said continuing to rub circles on my hips.

"I want you to touch me" I whined. His hands stopped and he slid them out of my waistband before slowly reaching for the button of my jeans and popped it open, pulling the two sides making the zipper of them open easily. All he did was trace the line of my underwear and my breath hitched and I rolled my head to the side biting onto the fabric of my t-shirt in anticipation.

"Jesus I haven't even touched you yet darling and you're already purring for me"

"Please Eddie" I whimpered pulling his hand and attempted to guide him between my legs but he grabbed my hands and pulled them back up over my head and placed them on the back of his neck. "Keep them here" He ordered. I squirmed in his lap. "I'll keep them there, just please touch me" I licked my lips trying to gain back some moisture to them.

"Promise me princess" He said tapping the small black bow on the front of my underwear.

"I promise Eddie, I promise, please"

"Good girl" He said as he finally slid his hand under the thin fabric giving a small swipe of the prominent slickness of my very obvious arousal.

"Fuck" He breathed down my neck "All this for me?" He began rubbing soft slow circles on my clit, a small cry leaving my mouth. I had thought about this for so long, anything involving him touching me and it was finally happening. Moan after moan left my lips as I shifted against him.

"You're going to have to keep quiet kitten or the whole neighbourhood will hear how much you love the way I touch you" He slipped one finger into me his large ring grazing my entrance as his finger curled up into me.

"Oh my god" I said with my head dropping forward in pleasure. I could feel the grip of my hands starting to loosen around his neck but I tried my best to keep them in their place. I felt his erection behind me the more I squirmed against him but I couldn't help it. The restriction of my jeans giving me only a taste of what I really wanted.

"Eddie" I whined tilting my head back up against him again.

"My name sounds so pretty coming out of your mouth" His breath warming my neck. He went back to rubbing circles on my clit and I felt that familiar heat grow deep in my belly. "Faster" I begged and he listened still with light hands he rubbed faster. My hands loosened completely falling back against his shoulders. "I'm gunna cum Eddie" I breathed. The feeling rose and rose filling my limbs with the static of slight numbness as I rode out my orgasm loudly. Eddies free hand cupped my mouth to muffle my moans. Tears pricked my eyes with pleasure and overstimulation as his rubbing slowed. My arms had fallen completely to my sides and my breathing was heavy as I rested my head against him waiting for the ringing in my ears to cease.

After a few moments of silence I shifted slightly so I could look up at him and he was already looking down at me. His eyes looked much softer now than earlier and I couldn't help but smile. He took his hand from between my legs and stared at me as he put both fingers into his mouth and sucked them clean. "Sweetest pussy I've ever tasted"

I blushed and turned away from him trying to hide my rosy cheeks. "I can't move" I laughed. "My body feels like J-ello" I said softly. From his position Eddie picked me up placing me gently on my feet. I was a little wobbly but his hands kept me in place. He smoothed my hair out of my face and cupped my cheeks with both hands. "How do you feel?"

"Higher than a kite" I said lazily. I wasn't lying. I felt like I was floating my head and heart felt calm and happy. I reached forward to unbuckle his belt but he stopped me. I pouted and looked up at him. "What about you" I said attempting to palm him through his jeans.

"No" he said kissing me on the forehead. "Tonight wasn't about me feeling good it was about you and that's all I want" His voice was quiet and sweet and although the brat in me wanted to try again to see what would happen I listened. "I have to go home" I hummed leaning into his chest and wrapped my arms around him.

"I don't think you should drive like this" he said with a chuckle that shook my head against him. "Sleep here"

I nodded as he grabbed my hand and lead me to his small bedroom. "Sorry it's uh, a bit messy, I wasn't planning on having company"

"I don't care" I said belly flopping onto his bed clutching one of the pillows around my head.

"Can I take these off of you?" he said tugging on the hem of my pant leg.

"Yes sir" I said snuggling further into his pillow. He pulled my jeans off of my waist and to my knees before pulling them off one leg at a time. He gave my ass a playful smack before laying his blanket on top of me. He kissed me on the head before turning to leave but I reached out and grabbed his hand. "What do you need?" he asked sitting on the edge of the bed. "Stay" I mumbled and a small blush crept to his cheeks.

He shifted so he was now laying on his back while I curled up next to him. He hummed a tune to a song I didn't recognize and stroked my hair until I eventually fell asleep.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #fanfiction #stranger #things #Eddie #Munson #Joseph Quinn #angst #love #hellfiremunsonn

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oceandiagonale · 1 year

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OC Sunday is back!! I've been a little hesitant to send anything because I know you've been doin a LOT lately and didn't want to overwhelm you, but seeing people talk about their OCs got me excited enough to get over my nervousness ksjdhf. I mostly wanna talk about her because her relationship towards Volo is so vastly different from Gene's relationship with him and it's fascinating to me!

Without further ado, here she is! Her name is Alessandra, and she was who I played with during my first PLA Playthrough. She's also who I played during my Brilliant Diamond playthrough, sooo she's canonically pulled from my Brilliant Diamond world post-championship and saving the world. She's chipper, spunky, and determined to see the best in people no matter what.

Having come from a much gentler world though, she was... not prepared for the trials Hisui would throw at her. She ended up getting some kind of scar for every Noble fight I had trouble with (as well as a marking from Arceus when she got eebie-deebied).

Over her time in Hisui, she started losing some of her memories from Sinnoh- and though she tried to hide it, this freaked her out to NO end. The only person who knew was Volo, who she immediately got attached to because of how much he resembled Cynthia who she had seen as a big sister figure before her fall.

When the Red Sky spread across Hisui, she willingly left the village to try and find out how to fix things. Volo quickly joined her, amd her gratitude towards him only grew. As they went to contact the Lake Spirits, Mespirit sensed that there was something wrong with the vibes and tried to warn her, but she didn't listen.

And then, well... the confrontation at the Temple happened. Alessandra was so in shock that she thought it had to be a nightmare, some remnant of her memories of when she fought Cyrus trying to taint her current life. But it was soon clear enough that it was reality, no matter how unbelievable it was to her. Through tears and confusion, she sent out her Typloshion and the fight began.

After a long drawn out battle, her Leafeon almost dying after jumping in the way of Giratina's surprise strike aimed directly at her, Volo was defeated. She had won, but she couldn't even bring herself to speak. She simply sat there, the rest of her injured team huddled around her to protect her with the last of their strength, but it was unnecessary. By the time she snapped back to reality, Volo was gone, the plate he had been taunting her with left in his place.

Alessandra spent the next several weeks despondent, a total opposite to her normal self. Eventually she got herself together enough to do missions again, and there she encountered Volo again in the Solaceon Ruins. They argued back and forth for a while about whether this world was still salvagable and capable of change, and Alessandra offered to help Volo find a place in the world again if he helped her in contacting Arceus. She had never admitted it, but she had her own frustrations with Arceus dropping her here away from everything she'd ever known and knew if anyone could help her get answers, it was him.

Now the two have an awkward, uneasy alliance- Volo still confused on why she would offer him kindness after everything he'd done, and Alessandra just relieved to know that not everything Volo had done was a facade and that the man she'd grown to see as a brother was still in there.

TLDR;

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, HER DESIGN, HER STORY, 100% WOULD READ MORE ABOUT HER IN A HEARTBEAT 😭😭😭😭

I'm so glad she got to meet volo after everything, it's so 👁️👁️🥊🥊🥊🥊 that we NEVER get to see him again in game and like, resolve anything, and it's like so unfulfilling, so MAN thank goodness her story actually has some catharsis and healing in it 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

also her character design is literally just so cute, the freckles being from arceus is such a unique take on a blessing mark, just 🥺🥺🥺

#oceandi answers #kaleidonope #Alessandra hero #others' ocs #pla spoilers

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atla-recluse · 1 year

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On Dipper’s ‘Normal’ Name

This may seem like a no-brainer and me just trying to find more depth than is really there, but I’ll go for it.

* * *

You know what I find fascinating in a ‘this is pretty ironic yet not ironic’ way?

The hidden existence of Dipper’s name.

No the other name. His “real name” (birth name): Mason. Surprised?

You see, it’s implied or basically stated many times throughout the course of Gravity Falls and beyond, that Dipper wants to be liked.

He wants to be liked in (apparently) the way normal children are liked, though. Without the odd looks and judgment (mean or amused).

And the name Mason? Well, it is normal! Normal and lovely even! It also twins with Mabel’s ‘normal’ name, which matches up with how they’re twins by birth. This is also similar to what the Stans have going on with their own names, but slightly less obvious and maybe less extreme. It also doesn’t lend itself to the same risk of unfortunate puns, inappropriate jokes and flat-out insults that Dipper (as fun/cute as it is) does.

If you ask me, Mason is the exact name you’d expect any other kid walking through the halls of a school to have. Or the name of a child at a baseball game. Or the name of a manager at a tech company. You get the idea. Yep, it’s pretty normal if not common (possibly even more than Mabel’s name).

Which leaves one like me to wonder...why doesn’t he just go by Mason, then? I mean sure; we know where the nickname Dipper comes from. It was too fitting to not be chosen. But if memory serves, Dipper hinges on the need to feel like he belongs and is therefore terrified/depressed by the prospect of being seen or treated as an outcast. It doesn’t help that it appears he already has been treated this way before in the past, even—more or less unintentionally—by the main cast at times.

It’s not even a case of only his family and closest associates calling him that either. Everyone who meets him and advances to a first name-basis with him, calls him Dipper. It’s not that the nickname is a bad one of course, but if Dipper cares so much about normalcy, it’d make the most sense to just stick to Mason.

Then again, maybe Dipper doesn’t care about (nor want) normalness as much as he lets on...

After all, when watching the series (if you pay even a little attention to these parts/details) you’ll quickly notice that Dipper is...actually pretty weird. Even by Gravity Falls’s in-universe standards. Sometimes close to or on par with the same level as his sister who is implied to make friends easier and just be an all around ball-of-sunshine (on the surface) and adoration-magnet despite this trait of hers. His level of awkwardness has been shown to be capable of reaching into eyebrow-raising territory, at least. It’s like he’s not trying to hide it.

Which is why I think that deep down Dipper isn’t (or wasn’t) so much afraid of not ‘fitting in’ nor being normal enough, but of not being noticed enough (for the right reasons). I’m not saying Dipper’s an attention hog (the series has other characters that better exemplify this trait).

I’m saying that what he wants is to be wanted; needed, appreciated and loved for what he has to offer and who he is. He likely goes by Dipper not just because he and his family grew to like the nickname or because it just makes sense, but because he doesn’t have and doesn’t want to pretend to have, a particular attachment to or desire for a name that doesn’t mean much to him outside of it being his literal ‘first’ name.

Even though it’s, by certain metrics, a name much stranger than his birth name, he doesn’t mind seeming stranger than he otherwise would when it comes to holding on to something truly meaningful to him and his loved ones/those closest to him. He’d rather be weird along with them more than anything else, anyway. (Even if he still does occasionally gets self-conscious and fear judgment over said weirdness that he has. It’s just a part of growing up. Even so, at his young age he already knows/knew what means the most to him and what he’ll virtually always choose to fight for when it matters most.)

#Dipper Pines #Mason Pines #Gravity Falls #Character Analysis #Character Worldview

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femalefail · 5 months

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I can't sleep.

I keep thinking about my body. I want to tell its story and even if you will not open your mind or sacrifice your time to it, I need to get it out so I can rest.

TW: sh, ed, sa, su!c!de, gender dysphoria, hospitalization

When I was first given this body, I couldn't have imagined the trauma that would come along with (presumably) having XX chromosomes. I was an innocent child in my mother's arms. An early Christmas gift from the deity in Heaven my mother so often cried out to for hope. I couldn't have known that I was fated to experience a chain of events that some might say resembled body horror.

When I was a small child, I was fascinated with life. I loved to watch plants grow and seasons change. I wanted to know what made life take such forms as bugs and fish and ferocious beasts and humanity. I loved to learn about the same forces who created me. I couldn't have known that these were the same forces that would destroy me.

When I was 11, I would stand naked in front of the mirror and sob. I would run my hands over myself, hoping that I could tug and pull my tiny curves back into straight lines. When I couldn't, I would scratch my hips with thumbtacks and broken razors. I couldn't have fought the urge to hurt myself.

When I was 12, I was a quiet girl, but there was turmoil brewing inside me. I wouldn't give in to nature's curse. I ate as little as I could to show the forces that created me that I was in control of my body, not them. I would scroll through pro-ana Tumblr. I read posts from all over the internet about how other people struggled with their bodies and with their lives. I came across videos of people treating their gender dysphoria and I remember instinctually denying that I was like them. Yet I lingered on that content. I watched them experience the joy of outwardly becoming who they are inside and I would shed happy tears for them. I couldn't have known that I would feel that joy firsthand one day.

When I was 13, I found my first boyfriend. He was my age. He liked playing a game called 'firetruck.' I also figured out how to shave my legs. I still don't understand why I was expected to devote so many hours of my weeks to ridding myself of my excessive, thick body hair. I couldn't have chosen to leave it alone, because the last time I did, a boy called me Gorilla Girl. I couldn't have known that my efforts were literally in vain.

When I was 14, I started to get the hang of the 'period' thing. After years of bleeding through my favorite jeans and wrapping sweatshirts around my waist to hide the stains, I figured out how to blend in. I had it worked out despite having a cycle that, for most other girls, would land them in the doctor's office. The pain was immeasurable, but I was told that there were many other girls who felt the same pain. The doctors said my flow would be normal once I matured. I couldn't have known I'd been lied to.

When I was 15, life became a blur. My inner turmoil broke loose and my parents saw it. My mother, who saw me as a beacon of hope, learned that there was no hope for me. She brought me to doctors who tried every medication they could to help my psyche. Every medication helped sedate me for a short while and then I would spiral again. I would end up in the ER, wishing I wouldn't cling to my life. I wished I had some control over the forces that kept me alive and destroyed me. I wished I could destroy myself. I couldn't have known that this wouldn't be the end of me.

When I was 16, I felt I was already dead. All the memories and love for life that I had collected as a child were tainted by the fresh trauma of being in lockdown facilities. I was still on medication that didn't work. It only numbed me. It only allowed the inner turmoil to simmer undetected. The scars on my body grew in numbers. I couldn't have known that I would live to be an adult with those same scars.

When I was 17, I was trapped in a relationship with another boy. He would say he loved me and then call me a bitch an hour later. He would say he loved my body and then violate it on the same day. He said he would love me no matter what, but when I asked him if he would kindly stop calling me a woman, he laughed. I was with him for two painstaking years. I couldn't have known that the threats he always gave me when I tried to end the relationship were empty.

When I turned 18, I was freshly out of yet another psychiatric hospital. I cried a lot that day. I didn't want to be an adult. I never wanted to grow up in such a horrid way. I looked back at my teenage years and wondered what forces were really behind this. I wondered if maybe there was a deity and they hated me. I couldn't have known it would get worse.

After I turned 19, I told my parents I wasn't a girl. My mother said she already knew. She had stopped attending church due to the other members' hateful words towards the community she suspected her children belonged to, but she still often cries out to her deity whom she loves. My father didn't really understand, but that didn't stop me from going on HRT with the health insurance his job provides. He didn't seem to care to stop it either. My parents were desperate for anything that might make me their beacon of hope again. We couldn't have known that my curse would prevail even through male puberty.

I'm almost 20. My scars are healed and I refuse to make more. I have come to terms with the fact that I'm disabled. I've also accepted the fact that the many ways I hurt my body have stunted my growth. I'm still in the process of getting diagnosed, but I feel like I'm dying every day. I self-medicate at the beginning of every waking moment to numb the pain. My doctors say I should stop self-medicating and then run tests that tell us nothing about the specific horrors of my body. My joints hurt more and more as time goes on. Every single one of them. My muscles are always weak. Pelvic pains and bleeding persist even though I got an IUD inserted and my doctors told me that the intense dysphoria that plagued me monthly was a thing of the past. Now, instead of bleeding monthly, I bleed every day. Eating hurts. Walking hurts. Using the bathroom hurts, and on top of that, I have to use the women's bathroom when I'm in public and fear for my safety regardless. I don't sleep well. I don't think well. And I'm so exhausted. I don't know what to do. I know I will look back on this and think, "You couldn't have known." But it still feels so hopeless. For so many years all I wanted was to destroy myself and now that I'm falling apart, I don't want to be. I worry that HRT has worsened my symptoms but even if that were so, I would still be subjected to bodily horrors without it. I'm not sure there is a way to lift this curse.

I don't know what you, as the reader, are supposed to take away from this post. I just need to say something. I suppose if you are not a trans person, you could gain some sympathy from this post. If you wonder why puberty blockers work and are advocated for, here's an example of the trauma that puberty can instill in a child. I'm a walking example of it. I have the scars to prove it. If you are a trans person, I suppose you could take away from this that you are not alone. We all have stories and I say we should tell them, even if some people are not willing to hear. Even if they resemble body horror in some cursed way. I need to share my story before it eats me up inside.

Also, if you are a trans person, I want you to remember that in many instances, you couldn't have known what to do. I want you to continually remind yourself that you aren't to blame. I often wonder why this is my curse. I want to feel trans joy and I do, but I still hurt. I wonder what I did to deserve this. I wonder when this will be over. I guess I can't know that either.

The story of my body is with you, Tumblr. FF

#transgender #trauma dump #trans ftm #gender dysphoria #puberty

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slepyicarus · 2 years

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Mc! Monday

Today really just is a good day to write for me. I will pre write this last one and schedule it for tomorrow to release when I'm not able to access Tumblr.

As always: the challenge is by @obeythedemons

Prompt: What does MC bond with the characters over or how does their relationship strengthen?

Tags:

Lucifer:

Lucifer was one of the first people Icarus meet in after waking up in the castle and learning of his halfdemon status and why he was summoned. Tho it took Icarus some warming up, he would seek out Lucifer for Advice when troubled. Icarus trusts the eldest brother with his worries and fears alot and let him take care of him the first time he broke down since arriving in the Devildom.

Classical Music - Both love it & Icarus asked Lucifer for piano lessons a month into his stay. It made them closer and open up to eachother more Taking care of the other - both of them are workaholics, exhausting themself to the point of passing of. So they take care of the other while working or if the other passed out. It made eachother trust the other in their most vulnerable state.

Mammon:

Even tho he was announced Icarus' Guardian they hated eachother at first. Icarus didn't like or wanted to deal with mammon's whiplash personality and mammon didn't like Icarus goody-to-shoes nature. But after making the pact and mammon having to protect Icarus from a nightmare that made him lose control of his magic while Lucifer was out they grew closer.

Gambling - tho they like different types of gambling, Icarus loving gacha gambling while mammon preferred casino gambling they understood the love of the concept for it. Sometimes Icarus accompanies Mammon in a Casino, using is fare altering to help the greedy demon win quite a big just so he can ask him for a booster pack in his game. Nobody said Icarus is always smiling just to look approachable. That smile hides quite a bit of mischief~ Protecting others - both of them have a protective nature hating to see loved ones hurt. Since becoming best friends they protect and support eachother. Unaware they used their powers of the benefit of the other secretly.

Levi:

Being a child born and raised in harbor cities and surrounded by fishermen and sailor wisdom/history Icarus was vary. He heard tales of sea monsters and tho he was fascinated by them he didn't want to get on the bad side of one. And Levi was known as the king of sea monsters so easy to say Icarus was a bit scared of him.

Levi on the other hand was intrigued. He heard from Lucifer talking on the phone with Barbatos late at night that Icarus was into Anime and Manga as well was novels and webtoons. He was first thinking that Icarus was just a poser until he heard on another night Icarus ramble about a webtoons to Mammon which actually asked questions to keep the other talking. Safe to say after that Levi tried his best to befriend the scared halfdemon. After the TSL battle and Icarus literally getting a panic attack from seeing Levi furious from Envy their friendship took a tool, making Levi decide to form a pact to show Icarus that he won't ever scare them again. Since then they because closer and eventually fell in love

Anime/Manga/Games/Webtoons - both are major Otakus. They often stay up together watchin, reading or playing together or individually. They enjoy the presence of the other. And thanks to both being tailed demons the even still can get a minimal of body contact, which Icarus craves Ocean/water relation - both love/need the ocean. Icarus being not only born and raised near the Ostsee but also needing salt water for his skin condition hates being to far from the ocean and Levi, being a sea serpent demon, can understand the yearning for water. So often they hang around Levi's room or make a trip to the devildoms Navi headquarters to feel closer to the ocean Pet snakes - Levi gifted Icarus a ghost devildoms ball python as Icarus loves snakes! And not only being a serpent himself but also have had a pet snake he understands and bonds over it with Icarus.

Satan:

Satan and Icarus saw eachother and something clicked in them. They knew at the same time the other was like them. Anger issues, cat and book loving, hate being compared to an older sibling and hidi g their true emotions. They knew the other did the same things. So on Icarus'first day in HOL Satan and him talked and became close. It was an added bonus that Icarus brought a cat with him which made Satan estatic.

Anger - both have a hard time controlling their own form of it. So whenever they feel like exploding they go to the other and take them for either a reading/cuddling Lavendel session, a vent session or a walk to the nearest café/library. They help eachother calm down. Mystery Book+Cats - both love a good mystery Book, especially murder mystery or Sherlock Holmes and they are both cat persons. When Icarus introduced Satan zu Lavendel, Icarus calico kitten, he was over the moon and made a special color for the collar trained kitten so she can get in all rooms without someone needing to open the door for her.

Asmo:

At first Icarus was wierded out by him and all the sexual innuendos made him uncomfortable as Icarus is on both the Ace as well as Aro spectrum and still sex repulsed. But as soon as he told Asmo to stop it was he felt creeped out and scared, Asmo understood and stopped. After that he started to give Icarus tips rather on things for his dermititis spots. After a few weeks Icarus started to allow asmo in his Personal bubble. Then the retreat happened and they started to get really close.

Self care - even tho Icarus doesn't appear like it he does love self and especially skin care something asmo can agree on with the half demon. The two of them do at home spa days at least twice a week as well as go out to one every once in a while Gossip - yes Icarus loves gossiping and hearing the latest rumors. He finds it interesting as he was usually the subject of nasty rumors in his school life. And asmo is not one to say no to Icarus.

Beel:

When they meet, both where unsure of the other. Icarus appeared like a small helpless bat or rabbit to Beel while Beel appeared like a giant grizzly to Icarus. The first few weeks they kinda tip toed around each other, neither wanting to do the first step for very different reasons. But after the dream encounter Icarus make a bento box and visited one of beels fangol trainings. The famished demon happily munched while finally talking to the smaller. That was the beginning of a friendship as well as a small crush..

Food - both beels as well as Icarus first love is food. Icarus loves cooking and trying out new recipes and beel loves being his tester. Hiking - Icarus invites beel often to hikes which he gladly agrees to. Tho most of the time Icarus flys next to beel to keep up. Being short is sometimes a blessing and a curse..

Belphie:

They met by accident in Belphegores dreamscape. After talking abit and agreeing to help out eachother, they met often in one of their dreams, sometimes just to talk. Quickly they became friends, with Icarus developing a crush on the cow demon.

After lesson 16 all they had build up was gone. Icarus became extremely afraid of belphie. Flinching when he moved his hand up too high, getting panic attacks when he saw belphie shift into his demon form and running to either Lucifer, Mammon or Levi when Belphie tried talking to him. So belphie tried careful steps are going back to their origins. That ways he slowly got the trust, and eventually the love too, back that he destroyed

Physical touch - tho Icarus was scared fir quite a while of being touched by belphie he now hates not touching him when he is close. May it be tail holding, cuddling, napping together or even more intimate things, Icarus won't turn anything down as long as he can touch one of his lovers and boyfriend's Stars - belphie loves stars and everything about them as we know, so it's a given that he likes Icarus just for being a demon related to the stars in the sky. They bond other them and often belphie helps Icarus create the beauty of his skys Being the youngest - both Icarus and belphie are the babies of their respective families. They know how to work they brothers to get what they want and often they use it to their advantage. Nobody said they were innocent of abusing that fact

Diavolo:

Being one of the first to meet Icarus he meet Icarus at his truest form, an anxious unsure young being which is scared of dissapointing. And being a very big man with unusual bright red hair and glowing golden eyes he scared the poor confused and still dazed boy to the point of crying and reciting bibel verses he didnt even knew he somehow had stored in his subconscious. Now it took a few days but eventually diavolo got icarus to let him get to know the half demon. And after diavolo stealing the young being and going to the amusement park and being the big brother icarus lost long ago diavolo got icarus to let him in his heart and turn into a place of comfort.

planing events - diavolo loving the chaos and excitement and icarus loving to let his creativity run wild they are a force to reckon with ones they started planing an event. barbatos even gets slightly stressed when ever he sees Icarus running around his pastel lilac notebook especially when it is in direction of where the prince is.. Annoying and showing lucifer their affection - both oblivious hold loads of affection of alot of ppl, but especially the avatar of pride even if it is for diffrent reasons and styles of showing that love. so while diavolo is very grand and open about his affection, the other is more calm and prefers to do little things to sweeten Lucifers days. they often talk about this over tea meetings.

Barbatos:

Just like Diavolo Barbatos was one of the first to see Icarus true self. But he was also the first to be allowed close to Icarus. While the young being was scared of the prince, he was the one the young one hid behind while shaking before diavolo and lucifer, he learned of the boys interests, likes, dislikes and all the little things he did. He was also the first to recieve a tiny folded star which icarus explained was his way of showing the gifted to that he feels comftable and trusts them. I called them his friendship stars. the more one had, the bigger his trust. The two started to bound thanks to icarus refusing to leave Barbatos side, one of his excuses where being new to the palace and his powers

The struggle of knowing the past, presents and future - Both of the bat like demons are connected to the flow of time and know the struggle and feeling of isolation of knowing what will and what could happen even if they had diffrent way of knowing them. Barbatos often comforts Icarus when he starts to be overwhelmed of feels too lonely thanks to his ability to alter fate and see what happens/happend reminding him that he will always have barbatos as his older brother and that he knows the feeling. Tea - Icarus, being raised in Germany and knowing tea as something to enjoy and to heal, often enjoys shopping, preparing, learning, testing as well as enjoying tea with barbatos which was not only happy but also relieved when he learned icarus prefered drink was tea instead of coffee or soda and similar drinks. The two time demons often meet outside rad and go to tea shops as well as events surounding the dried plants

Simeon:

Whem Icarus meet Simeon he disliked the angel for multiple reasons. For one his mother was a christian and forced the religion on him while he grew up making him hate any and all things related taboo topics, he was still angry against all angels for ignoring his prayers of help or atleast protection and lastly he heard the story of him turning against his ancestor Lilith and her brothers even tho Simeon adressed them as his siblings. Meanwhile Simeon just tried his best to be a good exchange student and tried to atleast get Icarus to tolerate him. In the end he only got Icarus high walls thanks to a certain younger angel which melted the cautious half demons heart instantly.

writing/drawing - both the angel as well as the young demon has a passion for writing, even if Icarus creative strong suit is drawing, they often proof read and advice eachother. Simeon, being a professional writer with a hit series, often is taking on the role of mentor for icarus when it comes to writing. meanwhiles icarus started to be Simeons cover artist. the two of them are still confused as to how alot of people didnt get that icarus was the artist when is tag has his name in it

Luke:

Luke meet the half demon in his first month while he still lived in the castle to recover from the summoning gone wrong. He at first thought Icarus was a full lesser demon. But Barbatos quickly corrected him and explained that if anything Icarus was only half minor sloth demon and half human with apparently angel ancestry. That info chanced the young angels whole view on the other. Being a little sunshine and appearing like a child Icarus instantly went into older sibling mode and took Luke under his wing. Safe to say, no one dared to mess with luke as soon as Icarus started attending, making the two be very close and truly feel like siblings

Baking - While Icarus is truly bad at it, he still enjoys the process. Luke decided to help his newest familiy member and taught him to bake. for that Icarus taught him human reciepes he knew well. which are mostly asian and german reciepes. Being pick on for their appearance - Both being quite short standing at highest 5'2 and looking rather soft they both had to deal with being made fun about it. the diffrence between is that while luke is all barks no bite, Icarus is one warning bark before he roars and bites hard. dont mess with a lions pride, especially the cub :)

Solomon:

Being the only other human Icarus was drawn to him like a moth to flame. He disliked it that Solomon shared basically no real information about himself, liking to know atleast one or two preferences of people he knew, but he learned to accept it. The other oart of solomon he more then disliked was being treated like an experiment or lab rat which solomon treated him like. He knew that he was something that may be a one in a lifetime mix of races but he still could stand the behavior solomon showed him. After lashing out and screaming at solomon that he was still a person and not one of his experiments solomon stopped and apologized. after a bit the two decided to restart and became close friends

Magic - Icarus being new to the world of magic was naturally worryingly curious about it as he was now a being of magic himself. Solomon decided to make it his mission to help Icarus understand his magic and master it. Often tho Icarus is Solomons test subject for his rechearche which is also the reason Icarus now his notly a winged but also a tailed demon. tho icarus cant make his tail disappeared having to hide it or lie that it is a every high tech fashion choice when he is in the human world.

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compartmentalisinghmpf · 2 years

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Commentary #1: Parenthood. Free(?) Will. A Sense of Loss. (And a little bit of gender.)

(Ramble inspired by this image.)

Ok, so one of the most interesting things to me about a!Dave as seen in rng is that he desperately wants to be a dad(bro). To every iteration of Dirk, definitely, even though there’s two more than he expected, and one of them is an adult, and the other is an AI. Maybe even (occasionally, briefly) to the two teen versions of himself - kinda against his own will; definitely against theirs, for the most part. (And yeah, the latter there is probably mostly me getting my own headcanon all over stuff. The a!Dave who lives in my head is mostly rng’s, or at least based on my reading of that, but no two versions of a character, in different people’s heads, are ever entirely the same.)

One thing about Dave’s need to parent that I find interesting is where it comes from. Because Dave, like all the main characters of Homestuck, was constructed, by the game, to play a certain role in it/in its preparation (two roles, actually, because he’s a remake, but we’ll get to that in a later post). And I’m kind of... generally fascinated by characters who do not have free will with respect to some very important life choices, and who are aware of that, and do not rebel against it.

The game creates its players and their guardians, and although it is never stated directly in canon, it’s safe to assume that in the case of the guardians - like Dave here - it implants them with a strong urge or need to take care of “their” kid, the player destined to enter the game - for some value of “taking care”. (The game clearly doesn’t bother giving them anything else to help them in their purpose, and the parenting we see from them ranges, unsurprisingly, from somewhat negligent to outright terrible. But the fact that they tend to be bad at being guardians only underlines how strong the urge to be a guardian to their kid, their player, must be. Almost none of these folks would choose to be a parent, if something hadn’t built the need into their very DNA.)

Dave is a bit of a special case, because (in canon) he never actually meets his kid, because it just so happens that Dirk ends up living hundreds of years in his future. And in rng, by the time he enters the story and finally meets Dirk, he has already spent an entire lifetime (up to his death at age 65) alone.

So he’s a guy who has this strong, literally in-built urge/need to take care of a (specific) kid - albeit with absolutely none of the necessary skillls - who hasn’t ever had a chance to actually do that. It’s a lifelong sense of lack, but one he’s barely even aware of anymore because he’s covered it up with a lot of stuff (some of which perhaps kind of doubled as “taking care of” Dirk metaphorically, emotionally, on some level - like the rebellion: gotta make sure there’s a place for Dirk to live, in 400 years!)

And now he’s confronted with the kid, finally, and something in him just wants the life he could have had, if he had really been Dirk’s guardian the proper way, so, so badly. And it’s not gonna happen, because, well, Dirk is a ferociously independent 17-year-old, and also Dave is, well, a mess, and also, you can’t turn back time (well, you can, actually, in HS and in this story - these folks are all related to the literal god of time of their universe. But it would be a really bad idea, lol.)

There’s a tremendous sense of grief under the surface here.

(There’s also a second source for rng a!Dave’s urge to parent, I think, which is that he himself grew up entirely without family, and - this is strongly implied, at least - didn’t really get much of a chance to be a child, ever. And there’s grief, there, too, but it’s even more deeply buried.)

Last, but perhaps not least, I also find it very interesting to see “a strong urge to parent” given as a central character trait to a male character. That’s still not something you see a whole lot. And yes, it’s not idealised, natural parenthood; it’s a complicated and arguably selfish thing, artificial and broken and incomplete. But it *is* central. I like that. I like seeing a male character deal with that, for a change. Because this is usually an issue given (in fiction; but also ascribed in reality) to Childless Women of a Certain Age.

#some of this stuff I already covered in a previous post #what can I say #I just like to talk about this guy #and this particular topic #collected a!Dave spam tag

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whattheskyknows · 2 years

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Literally thank you, I hate when Shuichi's character is reduced to be an emo stuttering mess when in the trials it shows that he's more than capable to handle himself (like when he told Kokichi to shut it during Gonta's trial); I also think that he forgave Kaede way too quickly but so did all the others, same with Maki during the fifth trial, and idk that's something that was always weird to me about the V3 cast, they throw so much (kinda deserved) shade to Kokichi and just put Kaede on a pedestal (she is an angel but like c'mon) while they completly forgot that Rantaro was the real victim here (even Monokuma or Angie pointed that out at some point) and barely stayed cautious with Maki after she nearly choked Kokichi to death and straight up brushed off that she was about to kill everyone just for a grudge; idk the v3 always felt weird to me, they don't really feel connected like the 77 or 78th class. With Kaito, he's probably my third favorite character in the entire franchise and I always saw him as a really biased person; I didn't like him that much at the beginning of that reason, but I guess I just grew used to it and started thinking that that was a fascinating flaw to give to a character: he's still a good person at heart and genuinely would like to help everyone but he gives preferences to the "weakest" ones, the ones who don't really oppose him so he could be like "Yup, I can fix them" against characters that don't want to be helped (like Ryoma and Kokichi); I get that he makes a lot of stupid decisions and makes a lot of dumb choices, but I think his unknowing hypocrisy makes for a more interesting character and is even a commentary to the hero trope in stories

Regarding ships, I agree that saiouma can be really interesting and even cute when done right (I personaly really dislike their pre-game relationship that the fandom unanimously agreed on at some point for some reason) and I believe in oumota supremacy

No need to answer this ask, I know I kinda rambled for a bit there :b just wanted to share opinions (I also don't involve myself much with the community aside from posting fanart and reading fanfics) always interesting to hear your thoughts!

Ahaha no problem for rambling!

I just realised Kaito is literally the definition of that 'I can fix him/her' meme

Yeah I like Shuichi, I just don't really like how the fandom sometimes interprets him. Like sure, he was shy at the start of the game but even then he wasn't even that bad, just a little insecure. I wouldn't even consider him a full on emo. I think the only reason why he might be seen as one is because Kokichi called his hat an 'emo hat.' I'll admit I used to see him as shy but now I'm like nah, he's a full on savage and I love it when people write him that way lol.

Also YES, I also really don't like how the fandom has shaped pre-game saiouma either. It's rather uncomfortable in my opinion. I don't mind how the fandom has shaped everyone as pre-game characters but,,, yeah I'm not a big fan of pre-game content.

Also also shout out to Angie for literally being one of the few people to bring up Rantaro and didn't make Kaede out to be perfect.

#ask

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paledreamlandtraveler · 2 months

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Life is a fascinating journey that presents us with countless opportunities and challenges. It is a delicate balance between joy and sorrow, success and failure, love and heartbreak. Each day brings new experiences and lessons, shaping us into the individuals we are meant to become. Life is unpredictable, filled with twists and turns that test our resilience and character. It is a tapestry of relationships, accomplishments, and personal growth. We must cherish every moment and embrace the beauty of it, for it is the sum of these moments that define our existence. Life is a precious gift, and it is up to us to make the most of it.

Hi everyone!! This is my story, so please read it! My story from childhood to adulthood. First of all, I was born on November 12, 2005, and I also live in the province of Negros Occidental. My father told me that the day I was born, I'm such a quiet baby girl, and I'm also so small, like a 1 liter of Coca-Cola. Then I grew up with my little younger brother. A few years later, I was 5 years old, and my little was 4 years old. We always fight each other because I don't like his attitude. He always doesn't like things to me. I was mad at that attitude. I'm always jealous of him because if we fight each other, and my mother always told me, don't fight with your brother because you are the order sister of your younger brother. That's why sometimes I get mad at my mother, hahahaha. A few years later, I was 9 years old and my little brother was 8 years old. At that age, I knew how to ride a horse, and my father had lots of animals like goats, cows, and carabaos. That is why, at such a young age, I knew how to ride a horse. My father taught me to learn how to ride. Also, at my young age, I know how to cook rice because my parents taught me how to cook and wash dishes. My father and mother always go to the farm. My father plated sugarcane, and he also plated vegetables. We always come with my father and mom to go to the farm to help them. Me and my brother always go to the river with my cousin and friends. If we go to the river, my mother always tells me to bring the clothes to wash at the river after that. We do swimming. I'm so happy at that moment because we are enjoying it. I have a lot offriends. Wee always played hide and seek, tumbang preso, bahaybahayan, and, luksong baka. But sometimes my mother gets mad at me because I don't like to sleep in the afternoon, so what I do is sleep with my mother always after lunch, and if she gets asleep, me and my brother go to my cousin's house and play the bahay bahayan game. Sometimes my mother beats me because I come home so late, like 5 p.m., and don't even cook or wash the dishes. That's how my mother gets angry at me, and then I go to my father to stop her from being angry. Also, I'm Daddy's girl, and me and my father always played, and he always told me a story. Sometimes I fell asleep. My father always taught me how to read and how to do math. If I got a perfect score, he gave me money to buy candy. I'm so happy if I get a perfect score in class because my father buys candy. If I got sick, he cooked me my favorite food, chicken. A few years later, I was 10 years old. I'm getting older. My brother and I always help my mother because she sells kakanin and bread, etc., every Saturday and Sunday, and I go to my neighbors to sell them, but my neighbor is in debt, but it's okay because they are my sukii.

Then, when I was in grade 5, I moved to school here in Cebu, Lapu-Lapu City. My older sister told my parents that they would send me to study in Cebu, and my parents agreed with my sister. Few months later, I had new friends in my new school. When I was in high school, I was 14 years old. At that time, I was always jealous of my classmates because they had parents to bring to school every meeting. I always told my friend that she was lucky to have his parents take care of himself because, at a young age, no parents took care of me, only my older sister. But as I grew up, I realized why my mother and father agreed to let my sister study in Cebu because the high school in my province is far away from home and also because we are so poor.

I study hard to achieve my goals in life, but sometimes I feel so sad because I miss my parents. But it's okay because my family always supports me through my journey as a student; they are my strength in life. I know that at my age, I have a boyfriend who motivates me and encourages me to pursue my goals in life. He's always by my side when I'm not okay or sad. I'm thankful that I have a boyfriend who always cares for me. We live in a world that is constantly changing, and to succeed, we need a smart plan and the ability to adapt and adjust to the changing world environment, but more importantly, we need to prepare ourselves to succeed. We need discipline and, above all, an unshakable will to resist difficulties when they happen.I feel really satisfied with what I have managed to achieve in my life so far. For myself, my family, and my friends, I only want the best. I often go above and beyond to support people in my immediate vicinity in achieving success and becoming the best versions of themselves. would probably be one of the best ways to describe my life, and I learned that we are the architects of our lives, the artists of our own destiny through work, commitments, and determination.

#life

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beardedhandstoadshark · 3 months

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How do you feel about the dynamic between Kirby and other characters in the series, like Meta Knight or King Dedede?

Kirby and his two weird uncles that he pulled by beating them up over food

Fr though I love how King Dedede went from guy hating Kirby to begrudging alliance to someone who can rely and depend on each other when things go south over the course of all these games just from them meeting each other again and again.

It’s less noticeable but Kirby did too! Went from "dude what did you do now“ at the start of half the games to "dude are you ok :(“

And though those meetings and growing to care for the puff, Dedede also grew to be an actual king to the dees. Went from treating them as canon fodder to at least feeling remorse for it to straight up jumping back in and pulling a hero‘s sacrifice to save a single dee. People sometimes view Dedede as Kirby‘s dad but nah, he’s the Deedad.

Meanwhile Meta Knight is a fascinating point of contrast and grey morals not just against Kirby, but the series as a whole.

I originally had a very big paragraph here but it was. Very big. So, tldr. The main point of Meta Knight‘s dynamic with Kirby is that where Kirby values friendship and peace most, Meta Knight values fighting, determination, and his own code the most.

I mean he started a war against the country because the inhabitants were too lazy, and after getting possessed by a shard of the soul belonging to the literal source of all evil in the universe, decided to keep the eldritch abilities that came with it because they make him stronger. And also still gave him a sword to make the fight fair while being possessed by said evil while we’re at it.

It’s been over 20 years and it’s still not 100% clear what his deal is or what the relationship to Kirby actually stands at (having started out as some sort of hired mercenary to go after Kirby but already helping out in that very same game) nowadays it seems very much like one of respect. Especially with the latest games, it feels a lot like Meta Knight wants to see Kirby grow his abilities to the fullest, and aims to do it through the way he knows best- challenging him to go all out in a fair fight. He basically Kirby‘s strict mentor who never says it but holds deep respect for them, and Kirby very much aims to rise to it (..And developed a soft spot for the kid just like Dedede. The side media for Kirby is adorable. Kirby makes drawings for him! Meta Knight kept the drawing that Kirby made for him!!) He absolutely only came here for the fighting, but it’s not just why he’s staying.

Anyways, where Dedede nowadays has Kirby‘s back, Meta Knight has Kirby‘s front, and Kirby himself is determined to fill the middle to his fullest, if that makes sense.

If I start adding Bandana Dee here this post might reach the word limit, though it is a very good dynamic that once again is built on growth like the others, but with Kirby being the main drive pushing Bandee to be his best this time, joining Kirby right behind him in the middle of the action.

(Also, it’s one thing to be a tiny ball capable of destroying gods- but it’s another to fight someone like that more than than once and keep up every time. You gotta give it to them.)

#another anon ask #ignore literally everything after the cut #this is just thought dumping basically #i am very normal about these puffballs and penguins can you tell

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coyotevallie · 10 months

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can i hear more abt jeddie and yvonne. i want to see your vision

GRABS YOU BY THE SHOULDERS these ade words i dream of hearing constantly . anyway um i find it fascinating that despite how Different they are in so many ways, especially in college - like yvonne puts it, he was a good christian and she was a party goth - but the main cohesive similarity they seem to have is smt of a shared difficulty with Difficult conversations . not necessarily conflict, but sad and vulnerable sorts of emotional convos - yvonne can confidently argue w joshua in friendship of enemies, but fumbles when it comes to doing so in order to make jedidiah stay, which makes me feel like the thought of it makes her partic nervous? (literally yes i know im interpreting so muxh onto yvonne its HAAAARD when the chnt women have such little development) as well as how she gets particularly frustrated w joshua in friendship of enemies any time he brings up smt that makes her Sad (the destruction of rowan's co-counswlor and jedidiah avoiding them, namely) . which reminds me a lot of Jedidiahs method of choice of dealing w vulnerable sad emotions, i.e completely avoiding the source of rhem. which makes me feel like thats a large part of why they grew to be so close? because yvonne is like ..... the closest thing to a healthy relationship jedidiah has - theres issues there but absolutely nowhere near the degree of his catastrophically fucked up relationships to the two Other close people in his life, sydney and lucille. yvonne apparently feels so strongly abt jedidiah being weird and avoidant that that theyve been talking to joshua about it all summer . they were clearly CLOSE despite jedidiah hating his college years and i think that ties into their respective dodginess around emotional vulnerabilitty - ALTHOUGH its worth noticing that yvonne is Not as bad as jedidiah in this regard, and seems to have a healthy coping mechanism for this feeling (being able to confide in joshua and get joshuas help with dealing w their emotions) as well as being able to reach out to jedidiah even if it takes the whole summer and being able to recognize that u shouldnt avoid issues until they blow up in ur face even tho to a degree they sorta do that w jedidiah w how long rhey took to ever really bring it up or properly reach out to jedidiah with their concerns in college before it got awful . i in some ways view yvonne as a somewhat healthier version of jedidiah in that sense? (i could get into closeted analysis of the fact that jedidiahs healthier and somewhat more emotionally intelligent counterpart is nonbinary but we're already getting into so much stretching as it is that i dont think i can stretch it even further without it verging on the delirious ramblings of a madman) and i just find that dynamic interesting . yvonne i think is a lot braver than jedidiah is but iv always seen her as struggling w a certain kind of vulnerability rhat jedidiah has also always struggled w . but this is a lor of me hcing lol . also i think they have fun 2getha and yvonne goths him up for fun sometimes and they play video games together and go on rambles abt them to each othef

#not tagging this bc its a lot of me ..... interpreting and hcing and thinking thoughts #but this is my vision lol

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mrlnsfrt · 1 year

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God With Us 2022 Part 3

In God With Us part 1, I explored the evidence for God’s desire to be with us found in the creation account.

In God With Us part 2, I explored the birth of Jesus and what it reveals to us regarding the heart of God. This is the third and final post of this series and I will explore Jesus’ promise to come again to be with us and to take us to be with Him.

" “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. " -- John 14:1-3 NKJV

Jesus was very clear. He will come again to receive us to Himself so that where He is we can be also. Jesus wants to be with us and this understanding helps keep my heart from being troubled.

The Apocalypse

Many associate the apocalypse with scary events causing them to be afraid of the second coming of Jesus. The Greek word Apokalypsis (ἀποκάλυψις) means disclosure:—appearing, coming, lighten, manifestation, be revealed, revelation. (Strong’s definition) In Portuguese and Spenish and perhaps other languages as well the last book of the Bible is referred to by the Greek word or its transliteration. In English, we have the translation of the Greek so we call the last book of the Bible Revelation, which is less scary than calling it the book of Apocalypse!

There’s a whole genre of post-apocalyptic writing, movies, and games. Meriam Webster defines postapocalyptic as existing or occurring after a catastrophically destructive disaster or apocalypse.

As a student of the Bible, I find this fascinating. Here is a secular term that cannot be understood without a reference to the book of Revelation. The problem I see in this is that the entire book of Revelation is summarized as essentially a catastrophic destruction of life on planet earth. If you never read the book of Revelation you would think it describes a nuclear holocaust or maybe zombies. Yes, Zombie Apocalypse literally means a zombie revelation or uncovering, but in our cultural context, it means the collapse of society due to an overwhelming swarm of zombies.

So we avoid the book of Revelation, we are afraid of it. We don’t talk much about the second coming of Jesus because that’s going to happen at the end of time and that will be terrible and scary right? Except that the followers of Jesus seem to look forward to that day. Paul refers to it as the blessed hope of the glorious appearing of Jesus!

11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, 12 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. - Titus 2:11-14 NKJV (bold mine)

I grew up in the Seventh-day Adventist faith and I have heard my share of scary end time sermons. However, the more I study the Bible for myself the more I am convinced that the second coming of Jesus is an event we ought to look forward to! Jesus wants to be with me and I want to be with Him, why would I not want Him to come soon?

If I am not looking for the soon coming of Jesus what am I going to look forward to?

I Will Come Again

In John 14:3 Jesus clearly states that He will come again to receive us to Himself that where He is there we may be also. It is clear that Jesus desires to be with us. Not only did He create us, but He also came and was born as one of us, lived for over 30 years as a human, and died so that we might live with Him. If we believe this to be true how could we doubt that He will come again?

9 Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. 10 And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, 11 who also said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven.” - Acts 1:9-11 NKJV

When Jesus went up into heaven two men in white apparel, I believe they were angels, told Jesus’ followers that He would come again like He went up. That is, Jesus would not be born again as a baby, but rather He would come in the clouds. I would argue that the second coming of Jesus is what motivates the efforts of the apostles to proclaim Jesus to the whole world.

25 “And there will be signs in the sun, in the moon, and in the stars; and on the earth distress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaring; 26 men’s hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 27 Then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near.” - Luke 21:25-28 NKJV (bold mine)

Luke 21:27 records Jesus making this same point. His second coming will not be like His birth, that most people missed. It will be a glorious event!

7 Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him, even they who pierced Him. And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of Him. Even so, Amen. - Revelation 1:7 NKJV

John describes the second coming of Jesus using similar words and adds that this time every eye shall see Him. He also adds an interesting line, “And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of Him.”

John is the last living disciple and he is writing from the island of Patmos, where he was exiled. He writes to the early church who is being persecuted and he encourages them, that even though people are putting their lives on the line when they choose to follow Jesus it is worth it because He is coming again and there will be a reversal. When Jesus comes, it is those who are in power, those who are persecuting the followers of Jesus who will mourn.

The description of Jesus coming in the clouds probably also brought up in the mind of Jesus’ followers the prophecy found in Daniel 7.

13 “I was watching in the night visions, And behold, One like the Son of Man, Coming with the clouds of heaven! He came to the Ancient of Days, And they brought Him near before Him. 14 Then to Him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, That all peoples, nations, and languages should serve Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion, Which shall not pass away, And His kingdom the one Which shall not be destroyed. - Daniel 7:13-14 NKJV (bold mine)

Matthew 24 records Jesus using similar language while describing His second coming to His disciples.

30 Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. - Matthew 24:30-31NKJV (bold mine)

Jesus’ assertion that He would come again in the clouds with great power contributed to Him being sentenced to death.

64 Jesus said to him, “It is as you said. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

65 Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, “He has spoken blasphemy! What further need do we have of witnesses? Look, now you have heard His blasphemy! 66 What do you think?”

They answered and said, “He is deserving of death.” - Matthew 26:64-66 NKJV (bold mine)

The second coming of Jesus is not a new teaching. It is not a small detail, it is the culmination of the plan of salvation! If I share with you how God created the world (God with us part 1), and about how God became flesh and dwelt among us and died for us and was raised again from the dead (God with us part 2), I should not avoid talking about the second coming of Jesus in the clouds with great power and glory.

Judgment

As a Christ follower living in the United States, I must admit it is quite comfortable to be a Christian. Sure there are inconveniences, but nobody is trying to kill me. Following Jesus does not mean putting my life on the line. And I wonder if this is the reason why so many, at least in the western world, seem to avoid talking about the second coming of Jesus. When you are being persecuted and have to rely on God to provide for you every day of your life you long for Him to come soon. But what happens when you’re living comfortably and it feels like you don’t need God all that much?

What happens when you have a comfortable place to live, access to plenty of food and quality health care? Suddenly the second coming of Jesus is not as important. Sure He will come someday in the future, around the time of the end of the world, but we don’t have to worry about it now. So the second coming of Jesus, the Revelation of Jesus Christ, coming in the clouds with great power and glory becomes the apocalypse, a scary event in the distant future that we do not talk about.

We read the gospels but skip the parts like Matthew 24-25, and especially portions like Matthew 25:31-32.

31 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. - Matthew 25:31-32 NKJV

We become comfortable with baby Jesus born in a manger. We like Jesus meek and mild. We weep at the thought of Him dying on the cross for our sins. But why do we shy away from talking about Jesus coming in His glory to judge the nations? Does it make us uncomfortable? Why would the second coming of Jesus make us uncomfortable?

Jesus gives us salvation as a gift. We do not have to earn it or work for it. We should not be afraid of His judgment. But life looks different in light of the second coming does it not? The imminence of the second coming of Jesus readjusts our priorities.

Let me put it a little differently. When you look at your life, what you consider a success and a failure change depending on your views regarding the second coming of Jesus. When you plan for the future, what you emphasize and where you invest your time and effort change depending on your views regarding the second coming of Jesus.

I want to be very clear about this. Please read carefully. I am not saying “panic and head for the hills.” I am not saying “become a monk and move to the mountains.” I am not saying do more good deeds because Santa Clause is coming to town and you don’t want to receive a lump of coal instead of the gift from your wishlist.

What I am saying is that Jesus is coming soon, and you should organize your life accordingly. This means being intentional about being about the Master’s business. (For more see my series on the Parable of the Talents)

I am not telling you to focus on yourself. Attempts to save yourself will fail because they spring from a selfish heart. Salvation is not about just saying the name of Jesus. Spiritual abuse is a real thing. Much harm has been done by those in power who claimed to be doing so in the name of Jesus.

21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ - Matthew 7:21-23 NKJV

What I am telling you is to live your life focused on those you can help. Minister to others not out of a desire to save yourself, but out of love for the other.

In Matthew 25:31-46 Jesus illustrates the final judgment as Him separating the sheep from the goats. At first glance, it seems like the judgment is based on actions or behavior. The difference between the sheep and the goats seems to be based on how they treated those in need. This would indicate that salvation is based on works and good deeds earn you eternal life. But a more careful reading of the text reveals that salvation is not based on the actions but rather on the heart. The behavior only revealed the condition of the heart.

37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ - Matthew 25:37-40 NKJV

Based on these verses, the righteous are surprised by Jesus’ claim regarding how they lived their lives. This means that the righteous were not aware they were “doing the things” they needed to do in order to be saved. If salvation was by works, the doers of the work would have been doing good deeds intentionally hoping to receive a reward. But when they are surprised by the reward it reveals they were simply living their lives, not expecting a reward, but simply doing what they felt like doing. They fed the hungry because their hearts had been softened by the presence of Jesus. They gave drinks to the thirsty because it gave them joy to be able to do something for someone else who was in need. They helped strangers and clothed the naked, cared for the sick, and visited those in prison because it felt like the right thing to do. The righteous did good deeds not to earn their salvation, but because they were saved. They lived as Jesus lived. Helping those in need felt right, it was worthwhile for them.

Priorities

I don’t want you to live your life afraid of the judgment. I don’t want you to have nightmares about the apocalypse. I want you to live a life of adventure and service because when you realize what God has done for you you experience a desire to discover what you can do for others. I want you to live an exciting and challenging life shaped by mission, by a desire to serve, to share the good news, and to introduce others to the God who has loved them all along.

What is God calling you to do?

This is not about earning your salvation, but about living out your life as one who is saved. Life is about living out of the overflow of what God does for you. Life is about receiving blessings from God and becoming a blessing to others.

Service begins in the home, to those closest to you, and from the home, it spreads outward to those around you. We serve those closest to us, then our neighbors, co-workers, classmates, and on and on serving and helping as many as God calls us to serve.

None of us can do everything, but all of us can do something.

What is God calling you to do?

Who will you serve this week? This Month? This year?

Prayerfully consider this, and put it into action. Jesus is coming soon, and there is a world that is dying in desperate need of the gospel, and of help, and of love.

#second coming #priorities

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