might fuck around and have a baby tbh

Zawe Ashton Covers AMAZING Magazine | Issue 4

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

Out of the people you know on here, what do you think they're aesthetics are??

Oops I kinda ended up writing little love letters / headcanons about my moots… 🤭

@theycallmesia is such a wholesome person, super friendly and always respectful, very down to earth, she seems like that type of friend you’d want to have around when you’re feeling down, probably super organized and idk why but I think when you step into her home it smells like vanilla 💛

@jakexneytiri you can’t dislike her, she’s such a sweetheart, was definitely one of the cool kids at school that’s friends with everyone, she seems like a family person and gives me older sister vibes or maybe the mum of the friends group, I just know all of her friends parents LOVE HER, probably very honest and good at giving advice 💙

@andraga12 i just know everyone was begging to copy her homework at school, she was probably one of those super pretty, intelligent girls that I’ve always looked up to (like how are you beautiful AND smart it’s not fair absbejwj). She treats everyone with respect and kindness, people can count on her and she’s always there if someone needs her, she probably doesn’t even realize how funny she is and how good it feels to be around her 🩷

@clockmax is the funny friend of the group, you NEED to have her around or it’s gonna be super boring, I just know that she’s invited to everything, was 100% one of the cool kids at school too, when you need her she can be super down to earth and serious but will still try to lighten up the mood, probably very cuddly but only with her close friends. I just know that if you send her a message at 3am saying you need someone to talk to she will wake up and come over IMMEDIATELY -no questions asked. Definitely a comfort person to all of her friends ❤️

@sweethoneycn I imagine she smells like roses and freshly cut grass or cinnamon and honey. She’s just a wholesome sweetheart that is very kinky by heart haha, a great listener, like she’s genuinely interested in what you have to say (you know these kind of people that are always like "I’m listening" while the rest of the group completely overheard what you just said? That’s her), so she’s very appreciated by all of her friends, I feel like she would make you completely forget the time when talking to her 🧡

@draiochtwrites is a cute cat mum, definitely calls them her children and I’d bet good money that she has them as her phone background too. She probably loves all animals, loves to receive those cute pet tiktoks or sends them to her friends. Being a cat mum already prepared her for the role of the mum of her friend group too, she makes sure everyone stays hydrated and nobody gets lost when going out, she’s also a little night owl and makes everyone wonder if she even sleeps at all lol but that also means she’s always up when you need her. I feel like she loves talking to her friends a lot, she’s definitely the lalalal to everyone’s okokokok, she will always find a solution for problems and talking to her will immediately make you feel so much better. 💓

@eclipseatsea 100% smells like the ocean, she reminds me of pretty waves and golden hours, probably wears shell jewelry too. She seems like such a sweet soul, very soft in all meanings, her voice will instantly calm you and she has a great sense of humor that never fails to make everyone around her laugh. I just know being around her will instantly put a smile on your face. She’s the type of person you‘ll describe as "good for your mental health" 🩵

@theblueflower05 she reminds me of a field of daisies, dandelions or sunflowers. She’s not afraid to say what she thinks and you can always count on her opinion. She’s very loyal and generally makes you feel comfortable when being around her. I just know that she makes people that usually feel very shy come out of their shell pretty quickly and it’s so refreshing to spend time with her because you feel so appreciated and understood, she will speak up for all of her friends without hesitation and is definitely a safe space for them. 🤍

@thewayofhim reminds me of summer rain, that kind of rain you‘ll watch in awe from inside the house after spending the whole day out in the sun with your friends, when everything smells so nice and you just feel so happy. She probably doesn’t even realize how much she means to the people around her and she’s the first person people ask about when she’s not there. I just know you‘ll have the most soul cleansing talk of your life with her while sitting in a car in a random parking lot at night. She’s the type of person that reminds her friends to eat and drink and take care of themselves but probably forgets to do it herself (this is a reminder to stay hydrated, cutie). She’s always ready to help others, gives the best advice when you struggle with something and people value her opinion a lot. 💖

@teyums makes me think of cozy fall weather, snuggling under a blanket inside, watching a movie or going on a walk with those leaves crunching under your shoes. She definitely makes you laugh with the simplest things, gives all of her friends a warm and cozy feeling when spending time or talking to her. I just know she offers everyone snacks at all time and loves simple date ideas like sitting in a cafe or watching a movie together. She just gives me big sister vibes, always encouraging others and bringing out the best in people. She’s very understanding and you‘ll always have a sense of security when being with her. 🤎

@aostahni she reminds me of late night walks at the beach, talking to her is like a mini vacation and you can completely relax when you’re with her. She’s one of those people you can spend hours with, without even talking, just being in each other presence and feeling absolutely comfortable. She probably loves to express her love with little things, like buying food or picking flowers, holding hands. She definitely gives the best hugs too. 💙

@truetogaia reminds me of a coral reef, with pretty, colorful fish swimming by and clear water, a perfect white beach and warm sun from above. I‘m pretty sure she was the it-girl of her school, yet she’s still so incredibly down to earth, kind and very respectful. Talking to her always feels so natural, she just knows what to say to make you feel comfortable and she is the type of person that will never fail to make you laugh, you’ll always be in a good mood when you’re around her. Spending time with her probably always results in laughing so hard until you can’t breath and your stomach hurts because her hype of humor is insanely funny. Sending each other funny tiktoks or thirsting over fictional characters together is definitely part of her love language and I just know she’s the safe space for her friends. 🩵

@coffeeandbookskeepmealive is the type of person you‘ll think about when smelling a new book. I can totally see her spending a lot of time in Cafés or at libraries. She’s not afraid to demonstrate her love and let her friends know how much she appreciates them which always gives the people around her a good feeling and makes them feel welcomed. She’s probably a great listener too and doesn’t need many words to help you ease your sorrows. 🤎

@viviartsy she is obviously a very creative person, probably doodling a lot so whenever you find little scribbles somewhere you know that she was there. I can totally see her drawing on her friends hands when she’s lost in a conversation with them or leave little notes and drawings as part of her love language. Deep talking to her feels very therapeutic and you‘ll always leave the conversation feeling refreshed and in a good mood. She probably doesn’t even realize how much she’s loved by the people around her. She reminds me of the forest, a place that calms you without much effort, that’s filled with many fascinating and pretty things, nice smells and wonderful views. 💚

@cinetrix is the kind of person that seems very passionate about everything she does. She seems organized and has a goal in mind, a quality that her friends admire a lot. She’s such a pure soul, the type of friend that loves others completely unconditionally, that shows everyone the same amount of respect and treats all of the people around her with so much kindness. She always finds the right words to say and being friends with her feels so easy and natural, you don’t have to overthink anything when being with her. She reminds me of mint, because it symbolizes virtue, protection, personal strength and hospitality all wrapped up in one. 💚

@tiredmamaissy there’s no doubt she’s the mum of the group. She has all of her friends wrapped in a cozy blanked and secured in her big heart. She’s not afraid to speak up for herself and for others, she makes you feel safe and loved and you just want to express your love for her whenever you can, because she doesn’t hesitate to the same. When I think of her, I think of the beach and the warmth of the sun, because talking to her feels like being there. She just has a way with words that instantly make you feel understood and like someone is actually listening to you. I just know she gives the best hugs too and physical touch is probably one of her love languages. 💜

@vinciwolf has a great sense of humor, she will manage to make you laugh even when you feel absolutely down. It just feels good to spend time with her and her friends probably come to her first when they need advice with something. She’s very supportive and encourages others as best as she can, without ever asking for anything in return, which is a rare quality that her friends value a lot about her. She’s the kind of person that makes others feel good about themselves, which is why she reminds me of the sun, giving everyone around her warmth and comfort. ❤️

@tsireqas reminds me of those pretty white clouds in the sky. She seems like such a soft person, kind and caring for others. She makes sure no one feels left behind and knows exactly what do say and do to cheer her friends up. 💙

@loaksbitch is the definition of a safe place. She’s non-judgmental, she brings others joy and laughter and talking to her feels so refreshing. She’s not afraid to reach out to others first and make her friends feel appreciated and wanted. When talking to her, words flow so easily and you don’t have to overthink everything you say. Being friends with her just feels natural and easy. 💘

@cyberfreaky she just screams confidence to me. She’s the type of woman that girls look up to and she will most definitely turn you into a blushing mess with just a smile. I just know she’s extremely loyal to her friends and she will always have your back and be there if you need her. She keeps all of her friends very close, definitely the big sister of her friends group because taking care of others is like a part time job for her. If you’re with her, you‘ll always feel safe and understood. She gives me those cool futuristic, cyberpunk / matrix vibes which I absolutely love 🖤

@whereireid reminds me of coffee in the morning, because it offers us energy and serves as a reminder to maintain balance in our hectic lives. She’s friendly with everyone and very down to earth, she seems very organized too and that gives others a feeling of security. She also makes people feel welcome with the way she talks, she’s mindful, authentic and very respectful towards others. Having her as a friend just feels good 💕

HAPPY 60TH ANNIVERSARY DOCTOR WHO

My love for Doctor Who & the Whoniverse, the impact it has had on me & how it has shaped me as a person- An Unhinged Essay by witchofthemidlands

I can definitely say in all honesty that Doctor Who has changed my life, it is my favourite television series of all time. There’s nothing quite like Doctor Who & it's spin offs & there’s not enough words in any language to describe just how much I love this show. It has had such an impact on me. Both of my parents are Whovians, my dad has seen it since Patrick Troughton & my mum started watching it when Jon Pertwee was the Doctor, we have Doctor Who coasters & for a long time, my dad even had a framed card collection of the Doctors 1-8 & aliens just around the downstairs bathroom (imagine going to the bathroom & having pictures of all eight Doctors, Davros, a Dalek, The Master, a Cybermen, an Ice Warrior & more staring down upon you 😂)

Through my love for Doctor Who, I have met two of my best friends in the world, my friend from college & my fantastic housemate from uni. It birthed this channel when I became hyper-fixated on series 10, It has helped me through depression, anxiety & has taught me to accept myself. It has also shown me so many beautiful places, I’ve been to three Doctor Who exhibitions, walked down to Durdle Door & I’ve been to Cardiff five times. I was in Cardiff last weekend & saw the place they filmed scenes from Eye of the Gorgon for the first time & it was BEAUTIFUL 🤩 I am so grateful for the existence of Doctor Who, I would not be the same person without it. I’d like to now share a couple of anecdotes from my personal life about the way in which I came to discover this fantastic show.

My first exposure to Doctor Who, was not in fact, to Doctor Who itself. The year was 2007, I was seven years old & I was just at home, after school, watching CBBC when a beautiful program called The Sarah Jane Adventures started to play. It was the episode Warriors of Kudlak & was it the incredible & wonderful Sarah Jane Smith? The fantastic & lovely Maria Jackson, the brilliant & hilarious Clyde Langer? The socially awkward Luke Smith? I’m not sure what it was about this show that made me become instantly attached but I did & from that day on I watched series one of The Sarah Jane Adventures RELIGIOUSLY. I watched it over & over again. Sarah Jane Smith was my hero & I loved her so much, she was clever, fun, looked amazing & I can just remember thinking she was so cool, I just really loved that character, I still do even now, I will always love Sarah Jane. I watched series one of that show until my parents, got sick of seeing it & decided that it was time that I started watching the show that started it all, Doctor Who.

The exact date I started watching Doctor Who was the 5th of April 2008. I was eight years old & my parents had decided that I would be watching the new season of Doctor Who with them. I did not know what to expect, I was used to Sarah Jane. I’d heard of this Doctor of course but I had no idea what I was in store for but all I can say was that eight year old me's mind was BLOWN & I’ve never looked back. I’ve watched Doctor Who ever since. I saw my first Doctor, the Tenth Doctor played by David Tennant & my first companion, Donna Noble played by Catherine Tate & I just loved them. Their energy, their humour, they were fantastic. The scene where they find each other again at the window is just brilliant. There was so much in that episode, every time I rewatch it I keep thinking to myself, no wonder I became the Whovian i am today after witnessing that masterpiece & IT ONLY GOT BETTER FROM THERE!

Of course, I do have to take a moment to talk about my favourite scene in Partners in Crime which is where Wilfred Mott waves Donna & The Doctor off at the end of the episode. Wilfred Mott reminds me of my own grandad in the way he was so kind, how he supported his granddaughter & was just a really beautiful soul. That moment where Wilfred is cheering is so euphoric, it is pure happiness & is what made me fall in love with Doctor Who. It is one of my favourite moments in the entire Whoniverse.

I would have to say that my favourite scene in the Whoniverse of all time is in my favourite episodes of Doctor Who, The Stolen Earth & Journey's End. Nothing has ever quite captured the joy of Doctor Who for me like that scene where The Doctor, Donna Noble, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Captain Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Sarah Jane Smith, Martha Jones & Jackie Tyler (well, not really 😂) are flying the Tardis, bringing the Earth home, Song of Freedom is playing & on Earth Luke Smith is holding onto K9 & cheering, Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones are holding on for dear life, Wilfred Mott & Sylvia Noble are watching their house shake & Francine Jones, smartest of them all, has got under the table. & then in the most beautiful, happy moment, everyone on the Tardis is embracing at the end of it. Nothing will ever quite match the joy I felt watching that for the first time & the emotions it makes me feel now.

I got my first exposure to Classic Who when I was nine years old & it had been announced that David Tennant would be stepping down as the Tenth Doctor & Matt Smith would be taking his place. Now, I’d seen the transition between Nine & Ten, I knew other people had played the Doctor & I loved Christopher Ecclestone as the Doctor but I just remember being very negative about the Tenth Doctor regenerating & I went through a phase where I didn’t want to watch Doctor Who & went back to just exclusively watching The Sarah Jane Adventures, of course now, I welcome new regenerations, I’m so excited to see what Ncuti Gatwa brings to the table because I loved him as Eric Effiong but back when I was a kid, regeneration was just not something I was keen on at all.

Now my nana had watched it since William Hartnell was the Doctor, my dad had watched the Doctor since he was Two & my mum, since he was Three so they were determined to show me that other versions of the Doctor have been fantastic in the past & they decided on this random Saturday night that I should be exposed to Doctor Who The Movie.

I loved that film, I really did. I haven’t seen it in a long time & I always think that I must have dreamt up some elements of the plot but NO, the plot of that film is something else, it really is. It’s camp, it’s funny, it has the best Tardis interior ever, it’s absolutely balls to the wall unhinged but IT HAS HEART, Paul McGann is THE Doctor & the fact he didn’t get a season after this I don’t know because he was brilliant. Honestly The Night of the Doctor changed me fundamentally as a person when that aired. If the rumours are true about the Eight Doctor coming back for a show, I am going to be the most annoying person on this site. I am going to lose my mind.

Now I genuinely think the reason I have such love for the Seventh Doctor is because my first real impression of this Doctor & Classic Who was Seven getting shot by a gang outside his Tardis 😭 which is I think why in my teens when I went into my local HMV the first Classic Who DVD's I picked up were Third & Seventh Doctor era serials. The Seventh Doctor is a brilliant, Machiavellian scheming little gremlin & I love him more than anything & I just fell in love with Classic Who, I really did because I’d seen the Third Doctor appear in a flashback in The Sarah Jane Adventures, he was also my mum’s first Doctor & I knew I had to see a full episode of his & he was a wonderful, the first time I saw a serial of his properly, he reminded me of Twelve.

Another story I would like to share is a Doctor Who related moment that brought me & my uni housemate to our knees at 2 O’clock in the morning on 27th of January 2020 when I was twenty year old.

I was just getting ready for bed, casually scrolling through tumblr when I saw a post. Now, I will admit I’d sort of taken a short break from Doctor Who in its 12th season after Spyfall because I was busy with uni so I wasn’t exactly up to date but Fugitive of the Judoon had just aired & I was reading that apparently one of my favourite Doctor Who characters of all time, Captain Jack Harkness had returned to the show now this is the first lgbtq+ character both me & my uni housemate had ever seen on tv, Captain Jack Harkness & Torchwood helped both me & my housemate accept our identities & taught us to not be afraid of who we are & that there’s nothing wrong with us. Captain Jack Harkness & Torchwood were the first positive representation we’d been given in our youth. I knew my friend was doing the bins at the time so I just opened the window & screamed down to him CAPTAIN JACK'S BACK ON DOCTOR WHO!

Both me & my uni friend are still apologising to our other housemate to this day for what conspired next. My friend dropped the bags, ran back inside the house & got the episode going. We recruited another friend of his that loved Doctor Who & the three of us sat & watched Fugitive of the Judoon together & oh my god when Captain Jack showed up, the three of us at half past two in the morning were screaming like it was a sports match, we were cheering, throwing things around the living room, hugging & all in all, losing our minds. Yes, we did wake up our non-Whovian housemate who was not happy but it is a core memory for me & really showed to me just how Doctor Who had brought me & my friends together.

On another note, I will always be so grateful to Torchwood because of that, no it wasn’t perfect & no neither was Doctor Who in terms of representation but it mattered to me, it mattered to my friend, it was important for us to see Captain Jack Harkness kiss a man (alien) on our screens when we were growing up, for Ianto Jones & Captain Jack Harkness's relationship to exist, for me to see Gwen Cooper kiss a alien presenting as a woman & to also see Toshiko Sato also kiss an alien presenting as a woman.

When it comes to favourite Whoniverse characters, I love every Doctor there is no version of the Doctor that I don’t love. I’d have to say that the Tenth Doctor is my favourite version of the Doctor & that Donna Noble is my favourite companion because of their significance to me but all in all if I had to choose, I’d say my favourite Doctor is The Ninth & the Tenth, the transitions between the two are so seamless. The fantastic Christopher Ecclestone & brilliant David Tennant will always be my favourite versions of the Doctor. The same way that Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler & Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones are my favourite companions. I have a definite soft spot for Rose Tyler because she was my nana's favourite as well, Martha Jones because she’s so brave, clever & beautiful and of course, Donna Noble because she is brilliant.

I have to mention the spin offs because it’s The Sarah Jane Adventures that began my adventures as a Whovian, other than Sarah Jane Smith herself my favourite character was always Maria Jackson. That girl meant the world to me when I was seven, I loved her, oh I loved her so much she was fantastic, kind, clever, amazing & I was DEVASTATED when she & her brilliant dad, the best tv dad to tv dad ever, Mr. Alan Jackson, went to America at the start of series 2. I’ve always liked to imagine that Maria turned out to be a lesbian like I did because I, very much like Maria was also ✨attached✨ to Sarah Jane Smith.

Clyde Langer, Clyde Langer is getting his own paragraph because of how much he means to me. I think I’d had to say that Clyde is my favourite over all because apart from Invasion of the Bane, Clyde was there from the start to the end of The Sarah Jane Adventures & I loved him, he was the funniest character around the stuff he came out with was comedy gold, he was resourceful, sweet & one of the most incredible characters in the entire Whoniverse. He may be my favourite male character in the entirety of the Whoniverse.

Seeing Daniel Anthony as Clyde Langer again in Tales of the Tardis has made the 60th for me, out of everything we’ve been given for the 60th anniversary of Doctor Who, David Tennant & Catherine Tate, new Murray Gold music & RTD back as showrunner, everything I’ve ever wanted & more and yet none of that means as much to me as seeing Clyde Langer again did.

Talking of Whoniverse spin off characters that have my heart in a choke hold I have to talk about my favourite CLASS character. I have to talk to you all about Ram Singh, my SON, my lad who can do no wrong. The sweet boy who loved his girlfriend so much, who suffered more tragedies & pain than any other character in the entire Whoniverse other than the Doctor did in only eight episodes. My guy lost his leg, watched his girlfriend get butchered in front of him, watched another woman get torn apart by an alien in front of him, watched his loving, wonderful dad (who was also one of the tv dads of all time) get killed by an alien & then had to watch his friend kill his new girlfriend who had just professed her love to him. I just love him, I really do, he started off rather mean but he grew as a person over the course of the series.

Now I love EVERYONE in the Torchwood Three team equally, they are fantastic characters who mean the world to me but there’s always that one character who just has something about them that makes me love them the most & that character is Dr. Owen Harper.

I mean this when I say this with my whole chest that Burn Gorman is one of the best actors in the Whoniverse. I mean, I came to Torchwood when I was fourteen for Captain Jack Harkness because I loved him so much & I was so happy to FINALLY get to watch his show but as it turns out, Owen Harper became my favourite character even over Jack who I love more than anything because Owen was just so good. The Dead Man Walking / A Day in the Death storyline is potentially a showcase of the best acting in the Whoniverse. Owen Harper is brilliant, he’s sarcastic, funny, morally questionable here & there, the reason I got into Big Finish, a genuinely good person who did care even if he pretended not to, whose story tore my heart out thew it into oncoming traffic & stamped on it like a herd of wildebeests to the power of mufasa dying in the lion king because oh my GOD the character that Owen Harper was but ABOVE ALL OWEN HARPER IS & ALWAYS WILL BE my favourite ratman. He’s the reason that I met one of the kindest most brilliant people on this site, my mutual, my friend who is so wonderful & WHO UNDERSTANDS the level of feral I reach for Owen Harper & the fact they scrapped his action figure is both of our villain origin stories. @kirstyth you are fantastic, I am so grateful that we started talking, you have shown me some incredible Owen audios & I am on my way to respond to your message now because I haven't done that & I am so sorry but I just wanted to say that I am so grateful that the Whoniverse introduced me to you.

Out of the Classics I would have to say that Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor & Paul McGann as the Eighth Doctor own my heart because they were my first Classic Doctors but in this past year I have grown to love the Second Doctor so much, oh he’s just wonderful & so is his companion, Jamie McCrimmon, I mean I’ve only known of this character for a year & I was crying my eyes out during Tales of the Tardis so I can’t even imagine how my dad was feeling watching that when he’d actually seen The War Games when it aired & talking of companions, Ace, Ace McShane, my love. I was still mostly in the closet when I was sixteen & first encountered her but it is undeniable now how much I was attracted to her & I STILL AM! She’s absolutely gorgeous 😍

Of course Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith is my favourite Classic Who companion because she was my first Whoniverse character I ever saw, she was my hero when I was a young kid & quite potentially the reason why I am the deranged lesbian that I am today. I still remember that morning, I was eating breakfast & rewatching The Lost Boy for the millionth time when my mum came in & told me that Elisabeth Sladen had passed away. My mum was devastated too because Sarah Jane Smith was her first companion she ever saw, she’d grown up with her like I had & she’d meant so much to both of us. We were both crying through Clyde & Jo's segment of Tales in the Tardis when they mentioned her. I still haven’t watched Farewell, Sarah Jane Smith in full yet, one day I will.

I can’t finish this essay without thanking Doctor Who for introducing to me to a fellow TimePetals shipper because it is & will always be my favourite Whoniverse ship, the loveliest most wonderful mutual a person could ask for @sallysellsseashellssundays You are brilliant, I am so grateful that Doctor Who brought us together. I love talking to you about Doctor Who & the Whoniverse, it’s one of the highlight of my weeks seeing your messages, they really are fantastic, absolutely fantastic, they are supportive & so kind about my own writing & they are currently writing a fantastic TimePetals fan fiction which has got to be one of the best fanfics I have read in a long time, it’s a masterpiece, they are a genius & one of the greatest writers I know, the way they write the characters & craft the stories are inspired, it’s like watching actual episodes of the show.

Thank you, Doctor Who, I am so grateful that Partners in Crime was the first Doctor Who episode I ever saw & for that (and many other reasons) series 4 will always be my favourite season of Doctor Who, The Tenth Doctor & Donna Noble will always be my favourite Doctor & companion because they were the first & I can’t even begin to explain what it means to me that David Tennant & Catherine Tate are reprising their characters in THREE DAYS TIME 🤩

With all my love to The Sarah Jane Adventures, Doctor Who & Torchwood. I love you so much, thank you for making my life better.

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

I binged the entire show on YouTube the day it premiered and am now about to dump my thoughts about it on you all. Warning for spoilers below the cut, obviously.

• More focus on characterization! It’s funny and rather fitting that Duck is snooty AF. Love this high and mighty gremlin grandpa. He’s one of my favorite characters.

• The phone honestly sounded like she was trying to seduce Red Guy at first. I mean, I know that just being friendly to someone doesn’t mean you’re flirting with them, obviously, but her voice just gave me such an infatuated vibe for some reason.

• I thought Duck Guy was going to swallow the coin. He did not, in fact, swallow the coin.

• Everything Duck says is funny. “Attention freaks” and “they’re pretending they don’t respect me” are my favorite quotes of his so far.

• As a person who likes the sound of screaming, the screaming in this show is lovely.

• Speaking of screaming, Red Guy screams a bit in this show. 1.) I never thought I’d hear him scream and 2.) I think he happens to scream the perfect amount for someone in his situation.

• Duck’s coffin shenanigans were pretty funny. End of story.

• When you meet a business man, you must shake him by the hand! When you meet a family man, you must shake him by the hand! When you meet the choo-choo man, yoU MUST SHAKE HIM BY THE HA-! 🎶

• “There’s Four of Us” was even cuter than “There’s Three of Us”!

• The teacher cameos are nice. Crazy how the gang are so chill with them now, huh? Larry sounds different (maybe that’s his Sober Voice) and Steak Guy’s appearance genuinely startled me. No sketchbook, though. Wonder if we’ll see her again?

• ROY RETURNS AND WE HEAR HIM SPEAK. I don’t get why he ate the Freak Family, though.

• *When Duck Guy and Red Guy start fighting over who the dad is* Me: Ladies, please! You both can be the dad.

• Fr though, when Duck said he is the dad and Yellow is the pet, I deadass thought he was going to say that Red is the mum.

• Duck looks so fab in drag. ✨

• What’s with the Colin plant at the start of episode 4? Can Colin dispense seeds or computer chips that act as seeds or something?

• Colin said “I love you.” 🥰

• The gang fighting killed me. Yellow Guy really went at the other two with a CHAINSAW. Imagine being one of the teachers in the house when this was happening lmao. And I’m pretty sure Duck called either Yellow or Red a bastard as well.

• Also, is it just me, or are they generally much meaner to each other now? Maybe it’s because we didn’t get many interactions in the web series.

• In fact, how did they end up living together under one roof in the first place? They can’t even eat food together in peace.

• Let’s be honest here: Duck is probably going to do with that rock what he wanted to do to the Mayor’s prized bowling ball. “Private business”, ey? Also, my man is definitely down bad for that shredder.

• Those three legit drove a “corpse” through the wall and went on long ass ride with it. Would that be considered grand theft auto or kidnapping? Maybe both?

• Poor Red Guy. :( He just wants a happier life away from the teachers’ horrid lessons. :(

• The scene with the Time Child and Tony’s “They’re not here!” was pretty cool. What a time to leave the house, am I right?

• My least favorite teacher is Warren the worm/eagle. Sorry to those who like him, but the little motherfucker is insufferable in my (rat) eyes. He does need friends, though.

• “WHAT ABOUT MY SHREDDER?~” 🎶

• Come to think of it, all of Duck’s songs are straight fire. 🔥

• The whole “I like looking at you” scene was ✨Gay✨ and no one can tell me otherwise.

• Also, the “Why don’t you experiment on each other?” scene that came before that was sort of fruity as well. Duck Guy: 😏 “So, would you be keen-“ Red Guy: 😒🤚“You’re not to touch me.” I feel that most of the fandom slept on this moment.

• LESLEY!!! I wonder if she is aware of what Roy did?

• Something about this show gave me a sort of “off” feeling for some reason, but other than that, I enjoyed it. I hope we get another season.

I’d love to hear more about your tattoos if it’s not too personal? Another anon currently saving and booking tattoos like a maniac lol 6 down and plenty more to go. I can just imagine that yours are super cool from how well your personality comes across here

Also one of the anons (I’d love to maybe start going by 🌻 if that isn’t taken, I’ve been leaving asks for ages but ready for an emoji now lol) that was talking about landos reaction to you getting a lil personal tattoo in homage to your friendship

Imagine he comes back for summer break and you guys are going to festivals together with a few other friends for him to take all the cool pics, you’ve got a more revealing outfit on than normal and he notices a little 4 on your hip or your ribs and suddenly his ears are roaring and he can feel his heart in his throat just POUNDING and he’s even tearing up a lil because he knows how special you are to him (even tho he’s been repressing his feels FOREVER) and he’s panicking because does this mean you feel the same or does this mean he can never tell you how he actually feels because this friendship is too much to put at stake?!

And for the rest of summer break whether you’re hanging out with friends in the sun somewhere hot he still finds a way to have his arm around you resting near the tattoo spot (he’s thought of nothing else since). Maybe one night you’re round a fire pit after a family barbecue and it’s a bit chilly so you end up getting all close and cosy under guise of sharing warmth but suddenly he’s got goosebumps (so aware of how close you’re snuggled into his side and how flushed your cheeks are from the drinks and enjoying time spent with friends, but also you’re so ticklish and so his touch makes you squirm closer into his lap making him grunt slightly and try to think about anything else than you wriggling so close to his growing semi, making a panicked excuse and leaving you outing, cold and a bit confused as you then fall into conversation with his mum who offers you a knowing sympathetic smile

Another time you guys are maybe round a pool or on a yacht and you’ve disappeared with a few girl friends to top up your tan but lando is pestering you to stay hydrated and reapply suncream constantly sneaking glances under his mirrored sunnies. Maybe the girls finally get the memo and leave you alone and you guys end up limbs everywhere talking and laughing when suddenly his brain stops remembering to hold everything in and he traces his fingers over the small delicate number softly asking if its a reference to him/what he thinks and when you scoff and roll your eyes poking him with your toes (which normally he would playfully feign disgust at but he’s too caught up) he just gets really silent and serious (which you find unsettling after a whole day of water fights and pushing eachother in the sea) taking a really deep breath and asking you not to freak out or interrupt him as he tells you how much you and your friendship means to him and how appreciative he is that he gets to spend time around you but that he can’t pretend he doesn’t want to be more than that to you, playing with his beautiful hands which steal your attention, not brave enough to look at him because you know you’ll break out into a grin and that he needs time to say his piece. Once he’s done his shaky little breaths as you play with his hands, telling him that you wanted to symbolise how proud you are what he’s achieved and how talented he is and how much you appreciate the friendship you’ve been able to maintain but that you also just want him in your life forever in every capacity and it’s just so soft and emotional omg

And the next time you see him after a race he has digit the same size and font just inside his elbow except he has the age you guys met at with a tiny heart and he asks you to think about going public (even tho the WHOLE grid already can read you guys like a book and the fans have never bought that you guys were only friends). Imagine a soft launch of a really artsy pic he took of your matchy ink on the gram oooooomg

I’m so sorry this turned into the longest ask I’ve probs ever left anyone I hope it’s not overwhelming or too much and that you’ve had the most amazing weekend! I really love the vibes on your page and check it literally every single day 🩷🩷

that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever read!! thank you 🥹 I’ve got a whole lot of them, they’re all super random but they have a lot of meaning to me. they mostly reference songs, bands and movies that I like. I did a big wednesday piece on my shin that I love, and I’m planning to do a big enough piece to cover the remaining space on my left arm but not sure yet what to do!! tattoos are the best, I’d love to know which one of yours is your favourite if you don’t mind me asking? 🥰

ohh my god I can just imagine him in absolute turmoil, overthinking what it means for you to tattoo his number on you because it must mean more, right? but what if it doesn’t and he’s just getting his hopes up?

jesus h christ you’re trying to kill me here I’m so fucking soft for this!!! lando not having the courage to look at you as he spills his guts, his mum knowing that you both have feelings for each other because it’s so obvious but you’re too dumb to realise it. soft launch with a picture of the tattoos! I’m bawling at this, imagine the fans being like oh please, we saw this coming a mile awaaayyy.

I love love love this so much, thank you so much for sending it in. it was a nice reprieve after a stressful few days!! I’ll literally be thinking of this for the next week 😭😭😭🫶🏼

Hospice - 5: Reckoning (Finale)

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Ominis adored nothing more than getting his mother her favorite snack from the vending machine. The payout from their last few bets had been immense, leaving Ominis and Sebastian rich as poor kids could be. While he pocketed most of the money to use for a rainy day, he siphoned some into the simple pleasures of life. It was worth the pleasant silence with his mum, rather than that oppressive mess that his meals usually entailed—always waiting for his mother's venomous fangs to clamp down on him. Ominis wished his cheese Danish and lemonade mother could be his always mother.

But Ominis also adored time spent with Sebastian and Anne. While Anne was sometimes too ill to leave her bed, he and Sebastian would enjoy time together in the playroom or out at the park.

"Can you read that guy's mind?" Sebastian asked as they sat in the sunshine, nibbling on ice creams. "Which guy?" "That dude jogging—quick, before he passes!"

Ominis honed in on the sound of running steps and probed into the shallow parts of the man's mind. 

"Music lyrics," said Ominis. "Must have earbuds in." "That is so cool," Sebastian gushed. "Did you ever think of doing something with that power? Something great?" "Not really. Before all this, I pretended that I couldn't do it at all. I just want to be normal." "Normal is boring! Look at me, I'm normal and I practically put myself to sleep." Ominis giggled. "You're not boring." "Neither are you. If there's one good thing that came out of being in hospice, it's that I got to meet you. We'll stay friends after this, right? Whether you get out first or Anne and I do, we'll keep being friends, won't we?" "I wouldn't have it any other way."

“I’m just waiting for my name to pop up here!” said Tony during their Sunday death bet. “You joking?” asked Sebastian. “We can’t bet on you unless we wanna lose.” “Take a chance, kid!” said Phil.

Ominis took his opportunity while a nurse scolded Marcus for pulling his IV out for being “damn itchy”. Between telling off her patient and being overworked, it was difficult to squeeze into her deeper thoughts. He passed by a ‘I’d rather be working with the children’, to her regretting saying that. After all, as she well knew, having to watch children die was a horrid part of being a pediatric nurse.

‘Norice loves the children so much, but I couldn’t imagine being her. She gets so attached to them. I hated hearing her cry last night over that sweet new girl, Anne.’ Ominis’ heart skipped a beat as he continued listening, hearing Norice’s voice through the nurse’s memory. ‘I can’t believe how bad she’s gotten over the past week!’ sobbed Norice. ‘She’s so sweet, she doesn’t deserve this. I don’t think she’s gonna make it to next week and I don’t know how to tell her brother!’

Ominis stopped immediately. He couldn’t bear to hear the distress and fear in Norice’s voice, and he heard Sebastian in his mind crying the same way. Ominis’ stomach churned violently and he felt a burning and tingling creep up his throat.

He hurried out of the room and into the bathroom. Hunching over the toilet, nothing actually happened. But sick sat atop his stomach, threatening to come up.

“Ominis?” came Sebastian’s voice. “Are you okay?” Ominis swallowed, and spoke as calmly as he could. “Yeah. I’m—” He swallowed again as his stomach flipped. “—okay.” Sebastian’s footsteps stopped outside of Ominis’ stall. “You don’t sound okay. You looked like you were gonna barf.” “I think it’s something I ate.” “Need me to get a nurse?” “No, I… I’ll be all right.” "Okay, if you're sure."

While it shocked Sebastian that Ominis didn't want to put a death bet down, he didn't press it. Ominis took every chance he could that week to visit Anne. She couldn't get out of bed, so he and Sebastian would play games with her on the blankets. During a rousing game of checkers, she shouted, "Look, a distraction!", before he heard the gentle clinking of illegal moves.

"Made you look." "Anne, I'm blind." "And I'm the winner so what's your point?"

They all had a grand laugh at this. Ominis held onto his tears. Such intense emotions from his joyous laughter nearly brought them out.

One day in the cafeteria, he and Sebastian got Anne's favorite foods. Ominis kept quiet all week about Anne's supposed doom, and perhaps that was best given it was Saturday evening and Anne was still around. Maybe the pediatrician had catastrophized, and maybe he would be wrong. Sebastian, wonderfully oblivious to it all and ever the optimist, kept up with the latest gossip and relayed it to Ominis on their way back.

"Did you hear? Tony coded last night. I overheard one of the nurses say so. He barely made it. Isn't that crazy? I didn't think that old geezer was actually mortal." "Maybe we should've bet on him."

Despite Sebastian’s laughter, Ominis regretted saying that the moment the words left his lips. He didn't think he should be encouraging these death bets. With all the mind-reading and horrible vicarious memories that came with it, he wasn't so sure how much longer he could continue.

"Sebastian. Maybe we should stop with these death bets." "Stop? Why?" "I really don't like reading other people's thoughts. It's invasive and horrible." "But Ominis, we should be honing your skills, not running away from them!" "I get that, I really do. But here, in the hospital… I've heard things I was never supposed to hear."

Sebastian stopped walking. Silence overtook them, leaving only the ambience of the hospital. Beeping. Scraping. Low chatter. Gentle sobs.

"What did you hear?" Sebastian asked. "All kinds of things—" "You're hiding something from me. What did you hear?" Sebastian repeated, forceful and desperate. Ominis heard the deep frown in his friend's voice. "Sebastian, I… I'm sorry. I heard from one of the nurses that… Anne isn't doing well." "Not doing well?" he demanded. "What do you mean 'not doing well'?" "Please, don't make me say it."

A sudden harsh shove made Ominis stagger back. His heart pounded and he braced himself for another push, or worse.

"Why didn't you tell me!?" Sebastian said. "I could've known this whole week, I could've been there for Anne, but you just kept it a secret!?" "I'm so sorry, Sebastian, I didn't know what to say." "I'm sick of people treating me like some fragile little kid! I thought you of all people would understand that, but you kept me in the dark just as much as everyone else!" Sebastian sighed hard. "I gotta go. I gotta be with Anne."

He stormed off. Ominis wasn't sure if he should follow, and decided to eat his food in the cafeteria.

Sunday morning, Ominis awoke to an utter ruckus down the hall. He shot up out of bed, snatched his cane, and hurried toward the noise. Nurses and doctors rushed around, shouting orders and information as a machine beeped loudly and continuously in the background.

"Continue chest compressions! Get that IV on there!" "Anne, no!" Sebastian cried. "Get the kid out of here!" "C'mon, sweetie—" "Let go! I need to be with my sister!"

Ominis stayed back, unsure of navigating the absolute chaos before him. His palms grew slick on his cane as he listened to Anne's monitor and its long, horrid beep.

"Please don't die, Anne!" Sebastian begged. “Sebastian!” Solomon shouted.

It sounded like Sebastian was being dragged away as his cries and distressed straining came closer to Ominis.

“Ominis!” Sebastian called before he collapsed against him.

He sobbed and trembled in Ominis’ arms. The shock of it all stole Ominis’ voice.

The dead silence of the hospital bore into him. He and Sebastian sat around Anne’s body. The monitor plug had been pulled after an hour of unsuccessful resuscitation. Sebastian’s keening had faded. All that was left was a ringing in his ears.

Ominis didn't understand how it was fair. How could someone as young and full of life as Anne die while his bitter mother continued living? How could someone so innocent be consigned to such a cruel fate while nasty people such as his mother walk freely? He grit his teeth and gripped his cane. If self-control hadn't been ingrained in him at a young age, he would've gladly given into his temptation to smash everything in his grasp. He pulled his knees up to his face and sobbed in the cold darkness of the lifeless room, choking on the faint scent of sweets.

[Article] “Merlin’s knights of the round table banter, tease, and discuss Tom Hopper’s arms – Interview”

by Julia Hass for cliqueclack.com, first published 17:12 EST January 26th 2012

[Original source]

The following is a copy/paste of the article followed by screenshots.

'Merlin's' knights of the round table open up on favorite scenes, fan interactions, Tom Hopper's arms, and what exactly Eoin Macken does to keep his hair looking so great.

“Let us not go to Camelot,” King Arthur famously said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, “’tis a silly place.” If this is just as true of the Camelot of Merlin, this is almost entirely due to the resident knights of the round table — Adetomiwa Edun (Elyan), Tom Hopper (Percival), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), and Rupert Young (Leon). The four of them were kind enough to host a “round table” (hyuck, hyuck, hyuck) phone interview and answer a few questions.

What do you most enjoy about your roles? TH: I get to do quite a lot of physical stuff, which is a lot of fun … I get to do a lot of fighting and look cool with a sword, which is always a lot of fun. AE: I’m right behind Tom when he says it’s a lot of fun getting stuff in with the action. You’ve got a couple of good ones in this season. EM: This is Eoin speaking, and I concur. RY: This is Rupert speaking. What does “concur” mean?

Is there anything in the upcoming episodes that the fans should be looking for that you would like them to see? TH: You should probably look to see how many hair flicks Eoin Macken does in an episode. EM: I think you should try to spot the episode where Tom wears anything on his arms. That would be epic.

You mean besides young children. EM: Wow, you said that, not me!

Did any of you actually watch Merlin before you got cast in Merlin? EM: I did, because Merlin is a wonderful show and I’d heard about it so often. AE: I actually did watch Merlin before … sorry, I’ve got Eoin Macken here making some extraordinary faces, it’s quite distracting. EM: I just want to know what episodes you watched before you were cast. AE: I watched the whole of the first two seasons. EM: What happened? AE: You wanna bet? EM: Do you wanna bet? TH: Okay, episode one … [all laugh] RY: When you audition for the show, you normally… I had a couple of days, so I tried to watch as many as I could. So I also watched — I’ve been seeing it even more … TH: [imitating Rupert]“Because I’m in it.” RY: Because my mum makes me. TH: We all now watch the show, because we’re all narcissistic.

Speaking of auditions, I was wondering if you could each tell us about your initial audition for Merlin and getting started in your respective roles. TH: Basically, I just did, when I had a go for Percival, I just sort of did a lot of research into the character, which actually came to not a lot of avail to what they actually decided to do with the character in the show, it’s slightly different what slant they took on it. But yeah, basically the audition consists of — and I imagine this is the same for the other boys as well — is that you get your script for it and you read it through with the director, and if you’re right for the part, then they’ll give you the offer. RY: When I first auditioned, I was up for two parts. One was the role of Sir Leon, which I play, and the other was another part, who actually dies, another knight. Luckily, they cast me as Sir Leon, otherwise I wouldn’t be employed anymore. AE: Well, then you’d be dead. RY: And I was only meant to be in a couple of episodes, and then they kept writing me back. So I kind of developed the character with the writers, so that’s been quite exciting. EM: I just sent a video of being topless in a bed, alone, and that was my audition. It’s true! AE: I went in and met with the director of the block I was cast in, and yeah, I kicked down a door in the offices of Shine, who make the drama. It seemed to have the desired effect. EM: I did consider a form letter, asking to be in the show, because I thought it was so good.

Can you tell me a little bit about some of the acting challenges you’ve found working on the show, and then maybe how have you seen your characters grow and develop as you’ve been playing them this season? RY: I think as to the second part of your question is what’s been lovely, or nice, has been the group of us working together is the writers have managed to get the kind of relationship we have off-screen into the characters. It’s quite nice to get that group dynamic that the writers found and that we found off-screen, so that’s really quite fun. EM: I think the characters have regressed since the year began. I think they were really written very well and then we came in and ruined it. So they might save it with some really, really solid editing. AE: [Laughing] Speaking for Tom and myself when I say that I think we can agree we beg to differ. I think one character has gone down the wrong path, and it’s plain to see. But personally, one of the challenges I’ve found is shooting in Wales. I — EM: Are afraid of Welsh people? AE: — I love all that stuff out in the forest, but it can be quite cold. And I’m definitely, you know, solar powered. EM: Yeah, sometimes it gets as low as about ten degrees Celsius, down there, so it’s really difficult.

Was it tough with special effects, I know there was a lot, especially with the Doracha? RY: I think what’s quite interesting is when you’re filming them, you don’t actually know what you’re trying to attack. Like, someone tells you, “Attack from all sides, right, look here, in this general direction, and hold the flame.” And so you do it to nothing, so it’s not until you actually watch the episode that you go, “Oh wow, that is actually quite scary.” EM: What I found about working with the Doracha is — when you’re acting, acting is like reacting. You need to react off someone doing something to you, so it’s hard to act off. RY: It’s like working with Eoin. [Laughter]

For each of you, what was your favorite scene to do? EM: My favorite scene personally was myself and Rupert have a really great scene coming up in I think episode … eight? Seven? Where it’s just a really interesting, it’s an episode that basically mainly focuses on the knights. So I’m sure the fans will look out for that, because we’re pretty brilliant in it. And the scene — it’s quite interesting because there’s a lot more conflict between the knights in terms of creating a different dynamic to our relationship. So I enjoyed the scene with Rupert which we had in the forest, which it got quite heated. It was quite fun. AE: Tom and I did a little bit at the opening of the series, which was quite fun. Rescuing the children from the Doracha, that was good. And then following on again from what Eoin said, I think that, um, if I may call it “the Knight’s episode” has some really nice stuff, some interplay between the four of us, which was a lot of fun to do. TH: Certainly my favorite has to be saving the kids with Adetomiwa in episode one, that was a lot of fun. And same again, really, I think the knight’s episode, which I believe is episode eight in this series. So I think for all four of us that was a really fun episode because we got to get a piece, a hint of something that was, you know, really on the storyline of the episode. So that was a lot of fun. RY: Same. That episode is the first time we all go out as a group without Arthur. It was just nice because I  think the characters developed a little bit, as Eoin said, conflict. So that was fun to shoot.

I was wondering what kind of feedback you get from fans about your characters? TH: I think it varies, really. I mean, three of us are on twitter and you get kind of mixed feedback. I mean obviously there’s some girls or guys that, I guess, have an attraction towards some of us, and there’s some that just want to know every single fact about the show, and to be honest, I think they know more about the show than we do. But generally, yeah, the feedback is good, you know? It seems like we have some very nice, loyal fans. AE: Yeah, it’s really nice. It seems like the show has a really supportive family, which is awesome. I think a lot of girls are very jealous of Eoin Macken’s hair. I get a lot of questions about what products he uses. Um, Pantene Pro-V, I believe. EM: Head and Shoulders. AE: Head and Shoulders, sorry. RY: He has dandruff. EM: Yeah, pretty much. AE: And I get asked as well how I feel standing next to Tom’s arms. And as I always tell people, if they let me get my arms out, you know? EM: What Adetomiwa is talking about is not euphemistic, he’s actually been taken on literal.  Myself, Rupert and Tom are all on twitter, so we have a really good interaction with the fans. Adetomiwa doesn’t ever use twitter, he’s not very tech-savvy, but we’re trying to teach him. And it’s, I think the fans have actually been great. That’s my feeling, when they come to France to have a chat. And being on twitter and so forth has allowed me to engage with some of them. I’ve actually learned a lot more about the show from them, as Tom said, they do know everything about it. And when we don’t know what’s going on, they remind us. RY: I think that’s the amazing thing about the fans of the show, is it’s all ages. You do see, there are a lot of children, but the age goes up to eighty. So it’s a family show, and there are loads of different people. So what’s interesting is seeing that dynamic, and seeing people all around the world who love the show and know the show. And it’s, it’s just exciting to be a part of. EM: It’s genuinely fascinating, because Merlin has such a wide-reaching fanbase, it goes through all demographics, that we do get people all over the world. Which is … yeah. It is great, because you get to see how everyone’s got a different subjective take on it, from all the different countries in the world, and because we all seem to be connecting with it. Yeah. It’s great. Sorry, Rupert Young is trying to distract me.

Can you talk about working with Bradley James and Colin Morgan? TH: Who do they play? EM: Are they in this show? [Laughter] TH: Yeah, you know, they’re great. I mean, obviously as you can tell, there’s a lot of banter between the boys here, and it’s all a lot of fun. So having us all together, working with those two, and they’ve sort of just, you know, they’ve really started off what we’ve joined. And it’s been great working with those guys, on their journey of making the show. They’re good people, you know, and very good actors. EM: Colin and Bradley — that’s actually genuinely great about working on Merlin is that the actors are all of  really high caliber. I mean bring on some great guest stars and so forth, like Nathaniel Parker. But the actors on the show who are the main focus, which would be Colin and Bradley and Katie [McGrath], they are fantastic actors. And Colin and Bradley in particular are both brilliant, and it is always great working for them. And as people, Colin’s Irish, and Irish people are generally great, and Bradley’s British, and that’s cool too. So it’s great working with them. RY: When you turn up on the show, you can see — I mean, Colin Morgan, and Bradley, both of them, they’re the hardest-working people I’ve met. I know it sounds like we’re sucking up to them, but they genuinely are brilliant, and the show wouldn’t be a success without them. I haven’t met or worked with people who work that hard, and they’re working flat-out for eight months, and so they make us raise our game. So they’re two great people to work with. AE: I guess our interaction with them, as a group, it’s slightly different. Bradley is, if I may say, he’s one of the lads, and we have a lot of good banter with him. And Colin is, like, one of the warmest, nicest, most generous people you’ll ever meet.

Since you guys are such a diverse group, if you had to assign superlatives to each other, what would they be? EM: I would call Adetomiwa enigmatic … and superlative. I would call Rupert beard-y. AE: Tom “Big Guns” Hopper, I think … what would I say? Sound as a pound, you know. Good man to have in your corner. RY: I’d call Eoin confusing.

Do you guys ever think you’ll get a love interest, or do you think Arthur’s going to continue to get a monopoly on the only girl in Camelot? EM: I was going to say that, because wondered where all the women were! I think Gwen just kind of got rid of them, personally. AE: Look, I’m sure you know that the show is influenced by fan feedback. so I mean, if the fans are interested in some sort of love interest, we’ll get them. EM: There should definitely be more sex scenes. AE: That was Eoin Macken. EM: No, that was Rupert Young. He does a great Irish accent, apparently.

High School Musical (2006) rewatch

*sigh* so... some time ago my friends and I rewatched this movie and I don't know whether it's the nostalgia or my usual love for cheesy low budget movies but I haven't been able to get this trilogy out of my head. So of course I ended up writing like 8k words of ramblings about each movie with nowhere to share them but the Random Hyperfixations Website, in the hopes that maybe one (1) person would find them mildly interesting. If not, future me could get a laugh or two!

I will also be tier ranking the songs as I go because why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Part 1: The Start of Something New

Aaahhh nostalgia 😭 and I only remember watching this one like once or twice as a kid lmao, it just feels so quintessentially 2000’s

Are the ski lifts working at this hour? Guess it must be a special New Years thing, sounds fun skiing at midnight but you know no one there is sober, New Year or not :P Après ski started hours ago!

Mrs. Montez: Gabby, it's New Year's Eve. Enough reading. Gabriella: But mom, I'm almost done!

I was literally like Gabriella at parties – ok granted I was like 12, but whenever we’d go to gatherings with family friends I’d either bring a book or this tiny notepad and pencil I’d fold up in my pocket so I could doodle whenever I got bored or socially awkward. People would compliment my drawings and make requests so I guess it worked out?

Also the mums' fits aren't great, looks like they’re wearing theatre costumes.

YOU TAKE IT DOWNTOWN! 🔥🔥🏀🔥🔥🔥🏀🏀

Mrs Bolton: Did we really fly all this way to play more basketball? Troy and Mr Bolton: ...........yeah?

I relate to this because my mum would also have to tear my dad and brother away from the beach volleyball courts when we go on holiday. I mean I play too during the year but I prefer to laze around or swim when we’re at the beach

“I don’t sing, I can't sing!” 10 seconds later….

"Some day you guys might thank me for this" This karaoke guy is hilarious, I choose to believe he is a fourth wall breaking omniscient being. It would be hilarious if somehow, Troy and Gabriella ran into him some day before getting married

Why are there screens showing the party in the back lol

Aaaaand the opening song! The one that started it all!!!!!

I love how no one cares about them doing the karaoke at first

So for Start of Something New I’d put it in A tier, it’s catchy and cute, and idk the instrumentation just sounds pretty 2000’s like it reminds me of the OG Winx Club score? I like how, despite the song literally just being them standing there on the platform, they make it interesting by having this progression through the song where at first they’re just giving each other shy glances, Troy is ready to leave after a couple of lines because he assumes Gabriella doesn’t want to do it, but then she actually joins in. Eventually when the music picks up, they start interacting with each other properly and Troy takes his jacket off, with Gabriella now grabbing the mic instead of standing hunched over. And once they’re into it, they have great chemistry! You love to see them open up and have fun.

Also Gabriella looks so pretty in that outfit and so cute when she’s nervous!

The way the karaoke guy stands up like he was right all along hahahaha. Cupid’s arrow has been shot.

Gabriella: I guess I better find my mom and wish her a happy new year Troy: Yeah, me too. I mean, not your mom. My mom. And dad...

Waaahhhh they’re so cute and Troy’s such a dork. Gabriella must have been so surprised to hear he’s the school’s number 1 jock boy LOL

Flip phones! I kept mine until 2015 but everyone thought it was so cool because it was a pink square shaped Alcatel with a full keypad B)

I feel like we don’t talk enough about the fact that Troy and Gabriella go skiing. Like is that unusual for a brainiac in this universe? Especially if she snowboards? Just imagine Gabriella tearing down the slopes and doing tricks :’P

yh that's the best approach towards these things but i also feel like depending on the age gap, there is some topics that you shouldn't discuss with them if that make sense. also the way that they ghost can make a difference too like just stopped replying to their texts is not too bad but when you see the person that ghosted you in real life where you tried to say hi to them and just walked past you like you don't exist is really rude and horrible at the same time. well i guess some ppl do believe in love at first sign but the concept of love/relationships also depends on the individual too. i think waiting for a relationship to develop that long is alright but the pop culture/media had made it so normalised to fall into relationships so quickly and if you don't, there's something wrong with is a really shitty mindset to promote.

i agreed, relationships need time to develop so rushing into marriage straight away is not a sensible thing to do lol. that's nice, it's a great thing to find someone that you automatically clicked with where it's mutual too can be a very great feeling.

that's true, it's feel like crashing back down onto earth from cloud 9 because it's like what but also how because some ppl are moving onto the next stage of their lives whereas others are just trying to focus on other things that are important to them. but everyone's pace towards life is different and some need more time than others.

yes, she's really happy about the whole thing which is a great thing to heard. er, i think that i went quiet on the call for a moment when she told me because i thought that misheard things 😂 nah, getting married that quickly is a foreign concept in most places where people live. oh i see but i've heard that first players were able to participate in a lot of side events that reveal more element of the story and different side of the characters. so a lot of later fans that join were very upset about that and they want the studio to relaunch those events. did you take part in any events? i've heard of honaki but i'm not similar with it. that's true, surnames can give away your ethnicity and the culture that you were raised in along with other things too. i think the name become much more meaningful to the family too since the guardian/parent spent time and effort to find a name with a nice meaning. that sound like a cool plot twist lol and i would say it can be consider as a unique meaning if you see the glass half full. tbh, if ppl find out i don't think that they will forget the meaning anytime soon lol. having a pretty nice can be really empowering for some ppl esp for girls i think. my mum name mean wild rose and her parents chose names for their kids that all rhymes with each other.

there's also a trend where i live now that some parents choose to name their kids with the same first letter as a tradition. names is a very interesting topic to talk about. but if they're the same gender, i can imagine that will get confusing when they grow up because they will share the same initials 🧐

very true. e.g. nsfw stuff, i sure as hell am not discussing any nsfw things with minors omg. and some other stuff too, yeah

god they... luckily i’ve never had anyone ‘ghost’ me irl, that’d be just plain rude.

agreed! i don’t think normalising fast-paced relationships is bad per se but the fact that relationships that take longer are often presented as somehow lesser is stupid. a lot of relationships take time to build and if they’re not properly working yet, you definitely shouldn’t rush them. don’t have much to say about your other points but i agree with all of them lol nodding along. yeah i understand you thinking you misheard at first lmao

ah, yeah. i started playing three months after release so i didn’t miss a lot of events so i don’t have much of a personal opinion on that lol but now that i’m thinking about it, the people complaining kinda do have a point. tho personally i’d be more upset that there’s a bunch of in-game weapons you only could get once during a certain event. i mean if you’re so upset about not having seen character interaction n stuff i’m sure there’s a playthrough somewhere on youtube or twitch adgjhdhf honkai impact’s just another game by mihoyo (company who made genshin), and so is honkai star rail

yeah! i once again agree with all your points but don’t have anything to add adhjgdh idk i don’t talk abt names often tbh, it’s not a topic for my friends & me yet and it also isn’t a topic anymore we discussed in school, that was when i was like ten lol. the naming tradition of rhyming is kinda fun ngl tho i feel it gets annoying if you have a lot of children and keep having to find names that aren’t too similar but still rhyme.

on the topic of initials... my dad, my uncle, three of my cousins, and i all share the same initials 💀 for my dad & me it’s kinda annoying too bc we have kinda similar handwriting so our signatures are pretty similar and now that i’m over 18 and sign (legal) documents myself it’s less of a problem but when i was younger i had to keep telling people that no, that is not my signature, it’s my father’s—they just look similar. and share the same initials & last name. but i never faked it even though people kept being suspicious of me bc our signatures are so similar asfhjgg

hehehehe ur cute. i’m so happy to hear ur day was good :)). i cry at movies too 😔. this is so embarrassing but i legit cried at the end of the sonic movie like the 2020 one … IT WAS JUST A SOFT ENDING OKAY 😔😔😔. I COULDNT HELP IT 😔😔. SAME grocery shopping is smth i always look forward to. i swear the cereal section is the best bc it’s just so bright. like everything else has such bland packaging and then the cereal section is just boom color and happy characters and cute logos like it’s just the best. THEY HAD MY FAVE PASTRYY it’s called spanakopita and it’s soooo yum. it’s a spinach and ricotta blend in this rly flakey pastry it’s so so so good. same i love them all sm. andddd let’s just say the dogs here are definitely city dogs so they’re a lot more immune ….? to odd things …? and to doing odd things ???? and their owners just aren’t even phased it’s so strange 😭

LMFAO ITS TRUE THEYRE LIKE DORITOS 😭😭 yep ik exactly what ur talking about and it’s perfffff. nothing better than some nice collarbones too. they look so delicate and kissable gahhhh. hyunjins make me dizzy. sooooo delicate and longgggg he’s so <333333333. victor 100% unreachable visual who is the blueprint. howl pendragon can come into my life and ruin it rn now pls. talk about perfect man ?? like yes bring him here pls 🙏🏼. LIKE AN ERASER 😭😭 UR LITERALLY RIGHT BC WHY R THEY SO HUGE ?? i love it tho hehe

ohhhh okay yes that makes sense, that’s so cool to think of. all the fast food in america sucks tbh 💔. i’d much rather mcdonalds from another country than whatever we have. every fast food thing here is just … boring. and expensive now so you’re better off just going somewhere else yk ? agreed i don’t customize my orders ever, but i do like to add cold foam to my coffee hehe. it’s just so rich and creamy and delish. and the machines are always “broken” bc they just don’t want to clean it 😭. they’re a pain to clean so i understand but if i want a mcflurry, i want a mcflurry 😠. andddd now i’m craving pandan leaf chicken as well <///3 so smokey and delish grrrr i love food

HYUNJIN DOES FLIRT THROUGH DANCING OMFG. he’s so perfect i actually get frustrated. like i don’t understand how someone can have that many ideal qualities and just exist. how does he live w himself knowing he is the IDEAL MAN ?? IDEK WHAT ID DO W MYSELF. FELIX IS DEFFF ACTING UP. but seeing this confidence on him is so attractive 🤭🤭🤭. i feel like that’s another thing that makes hyunes dancing so attractive bc you can tell he’s so content while doing it and how all of his moves are so articulated GAHHH i could watch him dance all day. imagine dating him and just being able to watch him practice ?? him winking at you in the mirror every now and then ohhhhh i’d pass out

i hope ur sleeping well my pretty 💗💗 kisses 4 uuuuu

- 🐈‍⬛

sonic movie??? ive never heard of anyone crying over the sonic movie T_T then again i cant judge because ive never watched it. dw bae, i cry over soft endings too. we have issues and its ok!! tbh i cry over fluff more than i cry over angst. it's just that i get so overwhelmed by the love, that it makes me sob yk? i sound insane, dont i </3 whats ur fave cereal? i love the milo crunch cereal, tastes like milo but make it cereal!!! and i googled spanakopita and omg. . .it looks mouth-watering. gonna attempt to find a place which sells them here. talking abt pastries, 'm going to a cafe with my mum tmr for breakfast, so im looking forward to that!!

anything abt hyunjin makes me dizzy tbh. the recent dancing vids of hyune 😵‍💫 hes out to get me fr fr. management pls make him stop body rolling on stage bcs it makes me sick!! (pls dont i love it when he does) HOWL IS SO PERFFFFFFF. THE MAN! i could talk about the plot of howl's moving castle for hours. i love the plot twist, how howl has been searching for sophie for years. thats true love right there! also jeongin hand pics has been all over my fyp come save me!! save me from this monstrosity.

the american slander 😭cmere bae i'll take u to a mcdonalds 🙏i'll give you all the mcflurrys you want. its always available here <333 now im craving for an oreo mcflurry omg... and pandan leaf chicken zzz

STOP FEEDING INTO MY DELUSIONS, MY LOVE. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SUCH THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD? i want hyunjin to give me a private show (not in an nsfw way i swear) he looks so enchanting on stage, i'd love to sit in front of him, alone with him and just watch him dance. he puts so much thought and emotion in his movements, it's amazing how he could do that all while ensuring every move is precise. making it all look easy is also one thing. oh the winks would be the death of me. i feel like he'd cling on u right after too <333 will ask for lil reward kisses after practise <3 did u see the vid of felix lifting his shirt up to make people scream for muddy water? hes in his hot guy and he knows it era. love it for him 🙏

also, today, seungmin and felix went live. i got to watch it and it was so chaotic T_T it was them attempting to make candy but failing at doing so </3 i mean what did we expect from them tbh.

hope ur day is going well, sweet darling. thousand of kisses for u <333!!

8 and 14 for nosy asks? :)

Hello!! Thank you for playing with me!

8. Favourite show to binge

Hmmmmm this is. Difficult to answer. Because I don’t always tend to binge watch shows. (Unless I’m sick. If I’m not absorbed in something else, I will binge watch)

Ive binge watched House when I got my wisdom teeth out (like. Back in high school. On a desktop. Or laptop but it actually came with a disc drive *shakes fist at newer laptops without the disc drives*)

I will watch several episodes at a time? Like for a bit I would watch 2-4 episodes after work with my sister when we watched 911 lone star?

*googles to see if that’s binge watching*

Ok maybe it is haha

So - new shows I get into for sure.

I rewatch Leverage every so often :) (I’m due to rewatch at some point!) I would totally watch Psych again. I’d probably watch the One Day At A Time remake again. MYTHBUSTERS!!

Actually I guess I binge watch anything within the extent in which I can. 🤷🏻

But I generally suck at watching even the things I want to. If my sister wants me to watch something and brings it to me to watch together and it makes me actually likely to watch it.

(Catch me having watched the first two episodes of Trust and then. Even knowing Primo is to come in the third episode. Haven’t been able to actually start the third episode)

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I mean. I don’t fully know.

Would it be better to buy a new family home or fix the issues in our house? How many issues are there that we don’t know about? Would it possibly be more than that even to do all the upgrades to be able to run everything? Like. I’m starting to think maybe it shouldn’t be normal for the lights to flicker when running the garbage disposal. Mum has said for years we need to upgrade the ampage of the house. Maybe we could get solar panels or something to help be more eco friendly given we need heating. And. Nowadays it seems like we need cooling outside of just fans too. Etc etc there’s no end to the things that we just don’t think about. But it really would be good to deal with them…

But after dealing with our house and if my parents needed anything, if there was anything left over - either antique or custom done storage solutions (my current setup is. Horrifying to most. Ingenious to me. I mean. Stacking a shoe rack on top of a desk?!? It’s perfect!!), a couple fancy sets of paints and brushes, maybe trade in the car for the same one that has a working map when you hit the map button

(Aside: if a car has a screen I think it’s only legal justification for having a laptop like screen in the vehicle you’re driving is if it has a working map. And why include the map button if it doesn’t work? YoU haVe to PluG iN yOur PhOne WitH thE cOrd it CamE WiTh 😩 anyway. No map for me. I’m still salty)

Id pick jobs that I just want to try out (I want to be a barista for as long as it takes to learn to foam milk at the very least) and probably go back to school full time.

Fuck. Why not? Id also get boat(s?). Kayak would probably be easiest but fuck it it’s the imagination right now so a small sailboat! (We’re assuming if I was that rich I would also be able to take the time to learn boating and boat maintenance properly or have the money to pay someone else to do it)

But then again. I don’t really know how far that goes. I especially don’t know how far that goes after tax. Unless this is the after tax amount?

ANYWAY.

Housing, art, ocean 💖

On Saturday I went for a bra fitting. I was kinda nervous, I thought standing there in my bra (crop top) would be really intimidating and I’d get body conscious. Especially considering what a late bloomer I am and that I’d never actually worn bras until that fitting. It went considerably better than expected though, but I did get confused on how much eye contact is appropriate to give to the woman who is gesturing to your boobs and her own boobs and discussing boobs and so on and so forth.

We got a Taco Bell after. There are only about 30 Taco Bells in the UK as opposed to hundreds, maybe a thousand?, McDonalds and such, so I really wanted to take the opportunity to try what I’d heard many people praise highly. It was good, but kinda mid. The way everyone claimed it to be great but it was just like something I could easily throw together at home but better was unfortunate but I’d still eat it again to be honest.

Then we went shopping. Growing up (by growing up I mean any time before 2020 where I feel all my life experiences and childhood truly ended) I’d never been a fan of shopping especially a shopping spree for hours as I’d get easily overwhelmed in changing rooms, with all the crowds and the noise, the heat and the ache of my feet. But in recent times I’ve learnt to tune out the negative in order to gather these life experiences even with all the bad mingled in, as I’ve ruined many moments that could’ve been formative experiences and great stories in the future by simply focusing on the negative and hiding in a corner and just spending my whole time trying to leave. Thats not really a way to live a life, so I tried my best to stay upbeat all day.

I’ve really been into brighter colours recently, so I bought some nice new tops, and a skirt for the first time ever. I also bought a dress but the skirt doesn’t suit my figure and makes my legs look bad, so I’ll perhaps have to get one with a skirt that flares out more like the skirt. I really went outside my comfort zone that day - a bra fitting, trying new food and drinks (that strawberry + mango ice drink was amazing), buying clothes that I’d probably be scared to wear or buy two years ago. I really hope I can keep this up! I also bought some bras, some earrings, a lacy grey matching pyjama set and I almost forgot but it just hit me as I was writing - the cutest converse trainers ever! They were like normal black high-top Converse but with pretty pastel flowers embroidered into the side and a pastel purple sole. I think I got emotional seeing them in the store and realising I could wear them.

So that was truly the first time I’d ever enjoyed shopping even though my mum’s bank account is probably suffering. I can’t wait for the opportunity to wear my new clothes, hopefully at Wetherspoons this Sunday if mum keeps to her word? I suppose she’ll forget though lmao.

Right now there is the most atrocious heatwave imaginable in the UK. It reached 34°C today, what a sick joke. And my friends from other countries are like ‘um damn ok’ and don’t really understand that - according to people that have actually been abroad - UK heat is just the absolute worst, we’re not built for this. Neither the cities or the houses or the people are built for this. My younger brother is staying off school because my mum fears for his health, that’s how sickly this heat is. I am trying to cherish it and would like to go on a walk but I know realistically I will pass out. Worse, all the ice cream and lollies in supermarkets have sold out so we can’t keep cool through that :(

I can’t wait for winter even though I know it will probably be depressing. My favourite weather, my least favourite time of year, if that makes sense. Even though I love Christmas despite its painfulness. I just love the cold and rain and snow despite the vibes that come with the heat is absolutely unmatched. This is why autumn and spring are rivalled for my favourite seasons, you get a good healthy mix of both weathers.

Also, if I get to go on a shopping trip to buy winter clothes to last me between October-May I will be so excited oh my gosh

(you defs won’t agree with this but it’s okay, and it’s just harmless discussion. i still love and admire your writing a ton <3):

i guess i don’t blame callie for the custody battle bc i can put it down to her being impulsive, but i blame her for what she said about arizona and the fact that she was super vindictive. like how she played into arizona’s insecurities about being sofia’s mom, implying that she’s a bad mother, and slut shaming her, etc. that will forever be entirely out of line and totally ooc

similarly i don’t blame her for the divorce. like at all. in fact i think it was necessary for the two of them to cool off and find themselves as individuals again before reconciling. but in that same vein, i think day 29 was cruel. i’ll always think it was cruel and i can’t come up with a justification for it (though i’ve tried very hard)

i don’t blame her for trying to move on with penny, in fact it was the healthy thing for her to do at that point. i was proud of her! but i can’t understand (again super ooc) her moving to ny with penny and taking their daughter from arizona without actually speaking to her prior (like checking out schools etc, which essentially left arizona with no choice because callie basically said: u know what, my kid is moving with me. sorry not sorry). i just imagine that if my partner did that to myself and my child i would be furious. and i particularly felt for arziona who already had a complex about being sofia’s “real mom.” callie imo bailed when she left seattle, and don’t think i’ll ever be able to reconcile that

but yeah, the anon really opened up a can of worms for me haha. at the end of the day they are both flawed, which is what makes them such interesting characters. i think callie needs to be taken off her pedestal, though, bc she has made her share of mistakes. but we love her for it ofc. and it’s totally chill if u don’t agree, just thought i’d share!

Hey, not only am I very open to other peoples thoughts and opinions so yours are very welcome here, but I also agree with this. I don’t necessarily blame Callie for any of these things, and I don’t think that the actions themselves were indicative of her being an inherently bad person, but she still definitely made mistakes and bad calls and did mean things and that should be acknowledged!

I honestly block out the stuff that was said in the custody battle bc it was just so ooc and so horrid and mean but it should be said that even though Callie was scared, that was an awful thing to do and like Arizona said - she’d never have let them say those things about Callie.

The way I reason the day 29 thing is that Callie didn’t necessarily come to the conclusion that she was going to file for divorce until after the fact. Though, that’s not a solid argument really as the way she was all ‘I’m the happiest I’ve been in ages’ thing gave the impression she’d come to the decision over a longer period. But like, you’re right, whatever the reasoning it was a cruel thing to do, to string Arizona along like that and give her hope in such an intimate way, just to ditch her the next day. It’s just straight awful and I hated it!

And yeah the last one you said was the pissing off to New York and assuming Sofia would come with her, feeding into the ‘you’re not her real mum’ complex she was so worried about was also just so incredibly presumptuous and also cruel! I can’t imagine how it must have made Arizona feel!

Essentially the conclusion here is that I agree with you, Callie shouldn’t be held on a pedestal because she did also do things wrong. Though I don’t think the intent behind any of it was to be cruel or mean, the actions still were. It’s easy to pin the blame on Arizona for everything that happened (which I also blame on bad writing for not exploring her and her psychology more post-plane crash) but the divorce and everything that came after it ultimately wasn’t all her fault. (I also just feel like Callie was written badly in season 10 becuase so much of what she does is ooc)

But yes, thank you for sharing!! And even if I didn’t agree with you, I love reading peoples thoughts so they’d be very welcome here!

something qwhite interesting

as one does i was hyperfixating on alexander and i noticed - are most, if not all notable poc characters in young royals set as half white?

obviously sweden is naturally a very white society, and i’d imagine even more so in upper class institutions like hillerska. i remember lisa defending diverse casting and speaking about representing a swedish society she would like to see, so i’m interested to know does she then believe/ is trying to say that in the YR world, poc still need a certain proximity to whiteness to be That Rich (and elite)

we know that felice has a white mother. (who still definitely displays some micro-racism to felice, yikes) i presume her dad, the black man, is the breadwinner of the family - but august still describes her as Modern Nobility. note modern. she’s rich, and elite, and of a desireable class, and yet she’s not of old money or nobility. i cannot be sure if her dad has generational wealth in sweden, or is what august would describe as nouveau riche, but her mum definitely displays social climber tendencies with the obsession with wille. note that felice is still, by western standards, relatively light skinned as a black woman. (still pretty cool that YR depicted a black girl as the desirable love interest to a nordic prince though - and the fact that all of wille’s love interest(s) are poc! excited to see will they ever address this power disparity and the white privilege he has against simon - amongst all the other privileges he has)

alexander (my beloved) has a white dad as we know, and a white passing name. his mother who must be EAsian/ SEAsian was never shown on screen (not that i remember of) and is not of importance to the story i guess. the rest of the society is white. i wonder is alex technically part of the society too - is he also noble born and first son? (although the casting rumours for a potential older sibling disputes that) i will then ask is alexander, the only poc in the society’s space, only allowed to be there because of his proximity to whiteness - east asians have a history of being viewed as unthreatening and submissive. like, if alex isn’t noble and first born, couldn’t august have just found a random white boy minion? honestly i’m still not sure how to feel about this stereotype being played up, but it is also partially realistic to a character who has to exist in such a racially imbalanced environment (rip)

nils is the one we’re not sure if he is half white or not. august described him as nouveau riche - so it is possible that he would be considered ‘immigrant’ instead of mixed white swedish. or maybe he’s second or third gen, and his family has been accumulating wealth in sweden for ages. we don’t know. i wonder if him not being mixed white swedish is what distinguishes him from the nobility of the society - he seems pretty comfortable with the rest of the guys, so i’m leaning towards him being pretty much Swedish instead of first gen or an international student

madison is the international student from new york, and being from the united states is pretty much her essence. the actress nathalie is of lebanese descent, but madison’s ethnicity is not mentioned at all in canon. (maddie speak arabic when!) we assume 1) she has ties to sweden, and 2) she is Rich, in order for her to end up in hillerska. i don’t know does this translate to her being mixed white swedish, but canon definitely portrays her as white (in my opinion?) another scenario is that she is Swedish, but her family just happens to live in the states for business or whatever reason. i’m leaning towards her being pretty much only connected to the states, since she seems pretty bewildered by all the old money european culture around class and monarchy, for someone of her wealth background

simon and sara are the outliers to this pattern because they’re not rich, and they pretty much portray the first gen (i say first gen because linda seems uncomfortable at times, so i’d guess she didn’t grow up in sweden) immigrant instead of the privileged mixed white swedish kid - they didn’t necessarily have to be half white, seeing that omar (as we know of) is Not half white, although i am glad they did not give him a drug dealing latino dad 💀 (simon falling into the drug dealing trope is bad enough… at least he can blame the white dad, oof) otherwise, it would have been nice for simon to Not be half white, to show that he could still be Swedish (and bagging the prince lmao) even though he is latino

i do wish that there are more explicitly Not Half White poc in the YR-verse though

there was absolutely no conclusion to this weird headcanon/ analysis thing but thanks for reading lmao feel free to steal this as fic material