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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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Hi!! I was just curious about Nancy and Jonathan’s relationship in your mango series! I was wondering if Nancy was an alpha? If she is, does that mean that Jonathan is a Beta or an Omega? Kids??? I have so many questions and am way too invested in this tiny part of this universe lol Please feel free to make this into a part with Steve and Billy talking to them about pups and bonding if you would like.

Masterlist

Part 29

I realized I literally haven’t mentioned the Wheelers this entire time rip to them I guess

Also I’m using this part as background to everything esp how Billy and Steve got together. Also no monster au I guess? tbh this part just made me realize NONE of this series is thought out

I literally never established a timeline, so I’ve decided it makes more sense for Billy to come to Hawkins earlier. You’ll see lmao. (this started as a little nonsense thing so the timeline of the whole Mango series is so whack pls no one try and do the math)

+I had traumatic emergency surgery on my uterus several years ago, so I’ve based all of Steve’s stuff on that

Steve dated Nancy Wheeler for about a month.

He was always drawn to fiery alphas, liked when they had sharp tongues, weren’t afraid to speak their mind. He liked ‘em smart.

Nancy seemed perfect to him, but Nancy didn’t like how much work omegas were. They needed constant reassurance of love, so much touching and cuddling, and that’s just not how she operates.

They had been casually dating for about a month early in her sophomore year when he asked her to spend his heat with him. She knew that meant he was serious about her, and let him down as gently as she could.

He didn’t take it too hard, and even invited her to a party he was throwing at his big empty house.

That was the first night she really talked to Jonathan Byers.

Their families had always been close, and they had been uncomfortable acquaintances for a long time, but she found him making a pip out of an apple, sat in the kitchen with him and got stoned for the very first time.

They were sitting close to one another, leaning closer, about to kiss when there was a splash outside, there was screaming.

They rushed out to see Steve Harrington, wet and shaking in the cold November night air, doing CPR on, on Barb.

He yelled at Tommy H., told him to call an ambulance.

Barb looked bad. Her lips were tinged blue, her skin pale.

She sank down next to her. Jonathan gently touching her back.

Most of the kids ran when they heard authorities were coming.

She held Barb’s freezing hand until the paramedics arrived.

Steve hadn’t stopped doing CPR the entire time had heard Barb’s ribs crack and splinter from the force.

The paramedics called it.

Steve was never really the same after that. He had become more withdrawn, had quit the swim team and stopped throwing big parties, he started babysitting Dustin Henderson, ended up babysitting most of the party soon enough.

He was still nice to Nancy, would ask her and Jonathan to hang out sometimes. She always thought he was sweet that he was a big heart. Hell, she sat there while he did CPR on her best friend for twenty minutes, but it was easier with Jon. As a beta, she didn’t have to be someone she wasn’t just to keep him from emotional breakdown.

But then Billy Hargrove rolled into town in the beginning of the summer, was all California golden, a big imposing alpha, and she began seeing less and less of Steve.

She thought it was just a summer fling, Billy didn’t seem like the type to stick around for very long, didn’t seem like the monogamous type.

Steve had a bad habit of trusting alphas too quickly, had been with alphas that just wanted to be able to say they’d fucked a male omega.

They were so uncommon, and usually these alphas were just curious, knew male omegas were the only presentation identifiable at birth due to their genitals, had wanted to see for themselves.

But Billy stuck around, starting hanging around Steve wherever he was, joining him when he spent time with the party, or with Jonathan and Nancy.

Billy was starting to grow on her more, as she watched and realized he loved Steve, that he wanted to be as clingy as Steve needed.

They would go on double dates sometimes, and Billy would pull Steve to sit on his lap just as often as Steve would plop himself on Billy’s lap. So she guesses they’re kind of a match made in heaven.

And then Steve got pregnant.

And she expected Billy to run for the hills, but he didn’t. Got kicked out of his house for Steve, changed his whole world for Steve and their pup, and at this point, they were four years in, had two happy pups and we in the process of moving into their first house.

She and Jon hadn’t even talked marriage yet, let alone bonding, were focusing on getting through school.

They had both gone to New York without even consulting one another, decided they didn’t want each other’s college choices to affect the other, that they should pick the best school for themselves.

When they revealed to one another, Jon showed her his acceptance to NYU, his dream school, while Nancy had handed him her Columbia letter.

She got regular updates from Steve, letters stuffed full with photographs and weekly reports. She contacted a bakery local to him to send him a cake when he called and excitedly told her that he had finally gotten his GED, had dropped out of high school in the February of his senior year when he got kicked out of his house, when he was the talk of the whole damn town.

“Letter from Steve.” Jonathan placed the rest of the mail on the counter, ripping open the envelope. “He put in updated pictures of the girls, look.” Nancy cooed over the photos. There was a gorgeous one of all four of them at the beach, Steve had infant Zara strapped to his chest, Billy was holding Mina. It was so cute. “He said they finished painting the house and should be moving in this week.”

“He mention how he was doing?”

“Of course not, have you met him? The only reason we actually knew he almost fucking died was because Billy called us.”

“I guess you’re right.” She was still flipping through photos. “Oh look at this one!” It was Steve caught mid laugh while Mina was doing him hair behind him. “We should go out to California soon to see them. Especially once they’re in their house.

“I’m gonna write Steve back, maybe we could go for New Year’s, or something.” She smiled up at him, stretching on her toes to kiss his jaw.

“I think that sounds nice.”

Mina was currently in the process of showing Jonathan every single toy she owned.

His lap was full of plastic food, blocks, dolls, stuffed animals, books, everything. She was talking excitedly about her little toy Camaro, the one that looked just like Daddy’s!

Nancy was just laughing as Jonathan nodded along patiently. He talked to her like she was an adult, asking her details about each toy in a very serious voice.

Steve slowly set himself on the couch. His abdomen still sore from surgery a few months ago. He was holding Zara, all dressed up in a little onesie that looked hand-knitted.

“How are you doing?” Steve rolled his eyes. Jon and Nancy kept asking.

“Nance, I’m fine. Just sore is all.” He kept dodging her real questions. She knew that the doctor had told Steve there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to be pregnant again, knew it was probably weighing on him. She just looked back and Jon.

“How is Mina doing with Zara? I remember when Mike was born I wanted nothing to do with him.” Steve laughed, bouncing Zara a little.

“She loves her. I swear if she could get me and Billy outta the picture, she would rather raise Zara on her own.” Zara gave a little choked off wail. “Sweet Pea, you are fine.” He put her on his chest, patting her back. “How’s school and everything?”

“It’s good! Jon’s going to end up graduating a semester early, so he’ll be finished by this time next year.”

“Oh, wow. Good for him!”

“I hear you left work, how’s that going?” Steve shrugged.

“They could only offer me one month of leave, and with the surgery and everything, I needed much longer. But you know I don’t mind staying home with these two. I mean, Mina’s in full day preschool now, just Monday to Thursday, but Zara is pretty fussy, so it’s okay. Once she’s not breastfeeding anymore, I’ll probably find a new job.”

“And Billy’s school is going okay?”

“Oh you know him, just overachieving at every stage. He had to cut back on his hours at the garage, he got a really nice internship at a law firm in town, and he’s actually getting paid for it.” Billy had been studying pre-law at UCSD, wanted to go into some kind of prosecution, possibly specialize in domestic cases. His internship was more personal assistant work to one of the partners of the firm, but it was better money than the garage, and something to beef up his resume a bit more.

Steve could hear the garage door beginning to rumble and whine as it slid up.

“Speak of the devil.” He smiled at Billy as he came in, kicking off his shoes. Mina sprinted up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, standing on his feet as he walked over to everyone.

“You talkin’ ‘bout me, Pretty Boy?” He picked up Mina so he could perch on the armrest next to Steve, giving him a kiss.

“All good things. Kind of.” Nancy doesn’t think she’s ever seen Billy Hargrove in a suit. He loosened his tie, had take off his jacket to place into the coats closet, was currently rolling up his crisp sleeves. She could see edges of a few tattoos. She knew he and Steve had each gotten each others initials on their shoulder blades, adding the pups initials underneath them both. Apparently Billy was beginning to work on sleeves. “How was work?”

“Eh. Same old.” He shrugged, putting Mina down to go back to “playing” with Jonathan. He lifted Zara from Steve. “How are you doin’, Nancy? How’s the Big Apple?”

She waved a hand non-noncommittally. “Oh, it’s good. Jon’s working for some underground paper, shooting for punk shows.” Billy grinned.

“Well done, Byers. I’m sure your kid brother’s plenty jealous.” Jonathan laughed.

“He’s come up for a few of the shows he’s really wanted to see. Which is to say most of them.” The timer went off from the kitchen. Steve went to stand, only to have Billy push him back down, handing Zara back to him.

“Sit tight, Pretty Boy. I got it.” Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled softly at Billy all the same.

“He was a nightmare when we were moving in, wouldn’t let me lift anything over ten pounds.”

After dinner, Steve and Billy tag teamed putting the girls to bed.

It was kind of amazing to watch. Billy got Mina dressed for bed as Steve fed Zara, then they swapped, Steve made sure Mina brushed her teeth while Billy changed Zara, swapping again so that Billy could read a book to Mina and Steve rocked Zara to sleep.

They were so practiced and efficient, both girls were asleep with half an hour.

“You get a lot of practice with the bedtime thing. I mean, it’s every night.” They were sitting on the back porch, on patio furniture that had apparently been a gift from Claudia Henderson.

It was a perfect night, the Southern California air was just chilly enough to warrant a sweater, but perfect for just being in.

“There’s a park a few blocks that way that’s doing fireworks, we should be able to see them from here.” Steve had poured them each some champagne. Steve and Billy were sitting one the chairs across the little coffee table between them.

They chattered through as the clock ticked down, getting closer and closer to 1989.

Ten seconds to midnight, Billy helped Steve stand up. Five seconds to midnight, Jonathan was digging in his pocket.

The fireworks began as Steve pressed his lips to Billy’s. Nancy turned to do the same, choking on a gasp as she saw Jon down on one knee. Steve shrieked, scrambling for a camera.

“I wanted this to be the first thing I did this year.” Billy was grinning like an idiot, Steve was taking picture after picture, his big eyes full of tears. “I know you want to establish our lives before bonding or having pups, and that’s okay, we can just be engaged for a couple years, whatever you want.” Nancy had one hand in front of her mouth, tears dripping down her cheeks. “Whatdya say?”

“Oh my god, absolutely yes!” Billy and Steve cheered as Jon stood up, kissing Nancy before sliding the ring on her finger.

#yikes writes #mango #me before this part: I have never heard of the Wheeler family ever in my life #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove abo #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #omega steve harrington #alpha billy hargrove #mpreg

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tristancreed · 4 years

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My Relationship With Tattoos

Art as we know it comes in any medium. It could be a portrait, a scuplture, a dish, a film or even a fighting style. The canvas and the medium may change, but one thing remains constant. It represents something. One's feelings, identity, code, maybe even culture. Tattoos are not far from this. They are pieces of art etched on a living canvas. Just like any piece of art can be viewed differently by the artist, the wearer as well as the mere spectator. The same perception could also be rooted from a personal interpretation/bias, cultural influence, and etc.

The Philippines, while still attempting to develop have yet to change its view on tattooing. To some, it is in fact seen at an artistic light whereas most view them with negative connotations. Some even view tattooed individuals as nothing but bottom dwellers, drug addicts, criminals, anything synonymous with the word undesirable. We even have a senator that says exactly these words about tattooed individuals, as do most conservative folks. Which is ironic considering that tattoos once played a significant role in the pre-colonial history. It often dsiplayed one's role, accomplishments, clan, and even social status. One of our most well-reputed national artists happen to be Whang-Od. To the uninitiated, she is currently the last living traditional tattoo artist around these parts. She is well sought out by visitors both domestic and foreign. In all sincerity, I'd like to see that senator try and publicly call her a drug addict to her face. Like I said, The Philippines has yet to be anywhere near ready to adapt to a modern society. And with it, more progressive views.

(Image is courtesy of La Blouse Roumaine ©)

I for one had a neutral stance on them. I should know, I have four of them and have gone through five sessions all in all. But before that, I remember wanting to get one as far as when I was in college and even intending to get two particular pieces. One being WWE Superstar Edge's Rise Above wrist piece and Toryn Green's sinner and saint ambigram. This what happens when you grow up being a fan of hard rock music, professional wrestling and mixed martial arts. Although what kept me from getting tattooed was the fear of being an ineligible blood donor, as well as the fear of being unemployable in the future.

That however changed after I graduated. Turns out, most corporate environments won't even bat an eye at an upper management figure sporting full sleeves and stretched earlobes. Others may not be as lenient. But it hardly impacted how they're received in the company. I even had a chance to get a session done in 2013 but it kept falling apart.

It didn't cross my mind until 2017 and that's that I finally decided to go for it. I remembered seeing a simple but perfectly symmetrical geometric arrow design. The design was perfect. I also happen to love archery. So I literally had no other issue with it. I later ended up getting referred by my cousin to her artist who did her wrist piece months prior. The three weeks leading up to that session, I let my folks know in advance that I am getting a tattoo. I didn't wait for their approval or anything. I made it clear that I’m getting inked. Furthermore, I’d like to point out that I am a regular subscriber to Aaron Marino’s YouTube Channel (you may know him as Alpha M). I then took some crucial tips regarding tattoos. I had the certainty down as long as I follow one crucial tip. You have a whole sea of skin all over you. So out of all that, just avoid having one on your hands, neck, and face. If you can hide it with a dress shirt, it’s completely fine.

On the day of my appointment, I literally just slapped on a sleeveless Avenged Sevenfold cut-off top, some shorts, with only my phone and wallet in hand before heading out for my session. It happened in a small studio just next to a small school in Pacita. Fortunately, I got there in time and I happened to be his only scheduled client for the day. What happened next was pivotal. I literally watched as the needle first touched my skin and slowly covered my birthmark. The session itself took over five hours. And what turned out to be the final product was an entirely different design. One which was inspired by the concept I sent, but also deviated from it. My parents despite having already been warned in advance were still initially shocked by it. They didn’t think I was actually going ahead with it. So this is the part where I retroactively followed what Jaiden Dittfach (of Jaiden Animations) said when she got her bird Ari. If you want really want something and your parents said no, get it anyway and trick them into loving it. Now that it’s on my skin, there really wasn’t much they could do about it. But at least they know its meaning and that it isn’t anything negative. I did have some issues with the product though and it took three more years before I finally got it fixed. For good this time. At least before the pandemic happened and it was done by a trusted friend. In her defense, she made the best of what she could work with then and even remarked how deep the first needle went. Fortunately, she managed to even out some places that needed to be polished.

The intended design (Image is courtesy of The Style Up ©)

The (first) finished product.

Finally fixed.

In between all of this, I also managed to get three more pieces. It was November 12, 2018, a news shocked Marvel fans the world over. Stan Lee tragically passed away just six weeks shy of what would have been his 96th birthday. It was such a devastating loss of a figure who helped mold the childhoods of many. I wrote about it and posted it here shortly after. During those events, I remembered having come across the Wakandan alphabet before it hit me. But first, I had to consult a few friends in order to make sure that I wouldn’t be committing any act of cultural appropriation. After finally clearing that up, I sent my own design to a friend of mine (Who went on to do all of my ink from that point on) and booked the session. Thanksgiving day later came and I realized that we had no work that day. So I later called her up to see if she was free. Fortunately, she was and I finally had it etched on my right forearm. It was the Latin word “Excelsior” that literally translates to ever upward. It was also Stan’s catchphrase. The feeling of getting that piece was a lot more different than the previous one. This came with a wave of emotion. Because the significance could even be traced from my childhood and I grew up around this fandom and it meant more to me than just entertainment. It helped shape part of my identity. It’s literally the one piece I wish I could have flashed on a camera next to Stan himself. One thing’s for sure both Stan Lee and Chadwick Boseman would have thought it was a wise choice for a piece of ink on one’s skin.

“Excelsior”

- Stan Lee

Upon having gone through a tattoo session, you can only describe the feel of a needle as a sting. But you wouldn’t exactly call it pain. That isn’t an opinion, that is a fact. Another thing one must know upon getting a tattoo is that you will later want additional pieces. Your skin will want the feel of that needle again. And while my parents said that would be my last piece, I simply couldn’t promise that. This time around, I’ve been looking to get a Cthulhu tattoo since December 2018. Of course, being busy as always, I couldn’t find a time to arrange it. I would only do so once I’m sure I’m completely free for that day. I live two lives. Both as a corporate guy and a public figure. Spare time and sleep are luxuries I can’t always afford. And after all the planning, I finally booked it. I literally went to my friend’s place right away to have it done. The session was of reasonable length and it felt different. Both of my previous tattoos were done on my right forearm. Both of which had uplifting personal meanings. A darker piece like that would be completely out of place in that part of my body. So I opted for my left bicep. It was surreal. I’m a man invested into multiple fandoms and H.P. Lovecraft’s universe is definitely in that list. There’s just something about the occult and the unknown horrors of the cosmos that piqued my interest since my formative years. This was me finally marking that on my skin. If there’s one of Lovecraft’s most iconic creations that deserved that spot, it was the famed Dreamer of R’lyeh himself. If the excelsior tattoo gave a rush of innocence that I hadn’t felt in ages, this was different. It had that enigmatic aura around it which made it all the more perfect. The piece came together so well and it was on an arm that a needle had yet to kiss. After the session, you could say I probably found out how the Sam Raimi Peter Parker felt when he first put on the black symbiote suit. Minus the dance when he exited that tailor shop. I also ended up getting a freehand bonus on my right wrist again. Just something Roxy threw in. It was the Latin phrase “Sic Parvis Magna.” which literally translates to “Thus great things come from small things.” or better yet, greatness from small beginnings. Which is another phrase I hold dear considering my humble origins.

“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn”

“In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”

“Thus great things come from small things.”

That certainly wouldn’t be the end of it. Again, while my folks insisted that I got my last pieces, I still can’t promise that. One thing’s for sure, I wouldn’t get any piece that either stands for something that abridges the rights of another human being, nor would any of my upcoming pieces ever wrongly appropriate a culture. Ultimately, I would always advise everyone to at least take Aaron Marino’s advise to heart. Don’t get one that you wouldn’t want to show your folks. You also have a whole sea of skin around you, so avoid having one on your hands, neck and face. I’m definitely not done stepping next to a needle. I still have plans on some pieces. But I always see to their significance. It’s always wise to do exactly that. Getting a tattoo isn’t a joke. It’s a commitment. One that can even outlive a marriage. So it pays to take every choice into consideration. Some of us choose to wear our hearts on our sleeve and some do so literally.

#tattoos #tattoostories #excelsior #cthulhu #lovecraft #inkedlife

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

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Hi! I loooooove your blog and completely admire how fantastically you run it - was wondering if you knew some fantasy/sci-fi johnlock fics? I’ve read a ton of the classic ones and love the genre. Preferably a bit longer, thank u!

Hi Nonny!

OOOH!! This is a fun rec, yes! I love Sci-Fi and Fantasy fics, I just don’t read them very often! Let’s see what I can dig up for you!

SCI-FI AND FANTASY JOHNLOCK

See also:

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Faes / Faeries

Immortal Sherlock or John

Shapeshifters

Disney-esque Fics

To Mend A Heart by dee-light (G, 1,472 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Emotional H/C) – Hearts can be broken, and mended, and broken again. Good thing, then, that hearts are only the seat of all emotion, and not something Sherlock needs in order to live.

Angel by MrsNoggin (T, 1,513 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Friendship, Chromoesthesia, Drugging) – John is an angel. That can be the only explanation. A response to the challenging request for a realistic wingfic one-shot.

the fearful passage of death-mark'd love by flibbertygigget (T, 1,980 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Life Partners, Name Marks, Referenced Deaths) – The first time that John meets Sherlock Holmes, the younger man has his sleeves pushed up to his elbows, wrists bare of any hint of ink. Within 48 hours, John has added "Jefferson Hope" to his clavicle. (Or: The One Where, When You Kill Someone, Their Name Shows Up On Your Arm)

No Strings Attached by Elster (G, 2,714 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Fairy Tales, Love Confessions, Fae/Faeries) – To save John from being spirited away Under the Hill, Sherlock challenges the fairy queen to a fiddle contest.

It's After That Hurts by jonnyluvssherlock (T, 2,791 w., 1 Ch. || City of Angels AU || Fantasy, Fallen Angel Sherlock, Soldier John, Pining Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Permanently Incomplete Fic) – Sherlock's an angel stuck as a guardian to danger addict John Watson. Everything is fine until he gets too involved. Now he has to make the choice, eternity alone or one life time with a man who may or may not love him.

De Veritate Unicornis Moderni by tepid sponge bath (T, 5,260 w., 5 Ch. | Fantasy & Drama) – John Watson, a unicorn of this day and age, is trapped in a mortal body. Life as it is seems pretty pointless, almost unendurable, until he meets one Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective and very much a virgin.

The Best Picture of the Human Soul by SwissMiss (T, 5,779 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Tattoos, Soulmates) – The stories of our lives are written on our skin. Part 1 of Imagines Moti

Second Waltz by Atiki (T, 6,685 w. 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Missed Chances, Retirement, Sussex, Bees, MCD, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Cancer) – "The night I died, you wished I could wait for you."

Sherlock’s Laboratory, Episode 1: Romance by berlynn_wohl (E, 6,900 w., 1 Ch. || Clones, Sci-Fi AU, Clone Sex, Foursome, Double Penetration) – “John, this isn’t one of your science fiction programmes. This is reality.“ Part 1 of Sherlock’s Laboratory

The Engine by stitchy (T, 8,294 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, ASiP Do-Over, Sci-Fi, Time Travel) – Shortly after the events of His Last Vow, Sherlock has an opportunity to revisit the night of A Study in Pink and get some perspective on the destiny of he and John's relationship.

Supernova by buttcat (M, 9,178 w., 6 Ch. || Body Swap, Science Fiction, Idiots, Mastrubation, First Time, Anal) – John wakes up in Sherlock's body. He's a little too enthusiastic about it.

Faerie-Touched by Blind_Author (T, 9,283 w., 2 Ch. || Faerie AU || Fantasy, Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock) – In a world of sorcerers and magic, Sherlock is a Faerie-born and John, lacking any kind of magical talent, often seems a bit out of place. But he has a gift all his own…

John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

Resistance by Coquillage Atlas (K+, 12,455 w., 8 Ch. || Fantasy, Friendship) – A sequel to "Conductivity," in which there are grave dealings with Mycroft.

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – "You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Everlasting by cypress_tree (M, 16,884 w., 5 Ch. || Magical Realism, First Time, Immortality, Angst & Fluff) – Most lives end. A Tuck Everlasting fusion, in which the Holmes brothers have lived for a very, very long time.

With All My Heart by QuinnAnderson (E, 19,257 w., 4 Ch. || Red Marks / Soulmates || Magical Realism, Growing Up, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love) – AU in which every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark appears on their wrist. Sherlock is determined to keep himself from ever gaining one of these marks for fear that love will corrode his mental faculties. Then he meets John Watson.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w., 4 Ch. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn't. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.

Invisible by chappysmom (K+, 25,947 w., 11 Ch. || No Slash, semi-canon compliant) – John had had the knack for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t that he could become invisible, exactly. The laws of physics worked quite well in his vicinity, thank you very much. It was just that people tended … not to see him. {{This was one of the first AU’s I read, and I still love it to this day}}. SEQUELS: Still Invisible (ASiB) || Too Visible (THoB) || Invisible Once More (TRF)

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Inexplicable by emmagrant01 (E, 34,664 w., 6 Ch. || Body Swap, TSo3, Magical Realism / Artifacts, Infidelity, Angst) – So what was in that matchbox, anyway? John and Sherlock find out, the hard way.

Malediction by MapleleafCameo (M, 36,680 w., 11 Ch. || Ladyhawke AU || Magical Realism, Romance, Curses, Eventual Happy Ending) – Cursed to a half-life, John and Sherlock must fight the forces of evil to be reunited once again.

The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush (M, 41,710 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S2, Sherlock POV First Person, Aliens, Wordplay, Case Fic) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?” “Crop circles,” John replied. “Obvious. What else?” “Are…are those intestines surrounding them?” “Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.” “Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion. I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w., 10 Ch. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

Perdition’s Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w., 14 Ch. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, H/C, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn't human. His vampirism doesn't pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

The Stars Move Still by BeautifulFiction (E, 96,022 w., 5 Ch. || Magical Realism, Demons, Slash to Pre-Slash, AU, Happy Ending, Souls) – "What could I want so desperately that would make me sell my soul? What could possibly compel me to surrender the part of myself that makes me who I am: the source of my magic, my self-control, everything?”

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

The Swan Triad by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers' attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w., 13 Ch. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

MARKED FOR LATER

A Real Deal by toyhto (M, 10,339 w., 1 Ch. || Black Mirror-Inspired, Science Fiction, Post-TRF, Canon Divergence) – Please be real, he thought and pulled Sherlock closer.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalize Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Impossible Improbable Truth by KaraRenee (M, 24,308 w., 9 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – John and Sherlock take a case investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl and her toddler half brother. What they find is an impossible adventure that leads them on a journey of discovery of their sexuality.

Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w., 13 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror AU || Future Technology, Science Fiction, Canon-Typical Violence, Sickness, Eventual Smut, Character Death, Happy Ending) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Dog Days by All_I_need (E, 101,627 w., 24 Ch. || Post-Baskerville AU, Experiments Gone Wrong, Fluff and Humour) – John has an accident in the laboratory of the Baskerville military facility. While they wait for the scientists to find a solution, he and Sherlock must re-examine the nature of their friendship as they navigate daily life and the Work, all while trying to answer the truly important questions: Is it okay to pet your flatmate if he happens to be a dog at the moment? And how exactly do you beg a self-professed sociopath for cuddles? Part 1 of Dog Days

Skeletons by flawedamythyst (T, 174,262 w. across 3 works || Implied Character Death) – Sherlock's refusal to talk about his past hides far more skeletons than John could ever have guessed at. Halloween-esque AU.

Names for the Galaxy by evadne (E, 191,101 w., 38 Ch. || Future Sci-Fi AU || First Time, Violence, Teacher/Student Dynamics, Ableism, Angst, Bigotry, Disturbing Content, Amnesia) – Sherlock Holmes is a recent arrival to 22nd century earth, and determined to find out who he is and where he comes from. John Watson has the unenviable task of teaching him how to be a normal human being. Part 1 of the Names for the Galaxy series

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #fantasy fics #science fiction fics #johnlock au #Anonymous #long post #fic rec sunday

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needdl · 5 years

Text

NejitenMonth Day 5: Scars/Tattoos

Available on FFN or AO3

Neji’s mouth was a flat, disapproving line as he held her hand firmly, and she tilted her head over to grin at him. “How’s going over on your end, babe?”

His frown deepened at the endearment, which he’d told her he found degrading. He grunted. Tenten laughed a little and turned her head back up to look at the ceiling, closing her eyes and wincing a little as the needle scraped over the bones on her wrist.

Neji noticed, of course. “I told you that you shouldn’t do this.”

“Too late,” she chirped back. She ran her fingers over his knuckles, and his expression softened slightly (even though she knew he didn’t mean to do it, he just had an involuntary response because he liked her that much.)

“Done.” Her tattoo artist sat back, looking as expressionless as he had when he first started. She couldn’t get a read on the guy, but maybe that was okay.

Neji stood behind her as she paid and got her aftercare kit, then they left for his car, still holding hands even though Neji was grumpy. Tenten had looked at the tattoo right after the artist had finished, but Neji hadn’t and now it was covered by bandages and he would have to wait. He had no idea what it was, and Tenten was admittedly a little nervous about what he would think of it.

Their lives continued for the next few days while it healed. Tenten was in the finishing stages of moving her stuff to Neji’s apartment, so she was going back and forth a few times a day with her odds and ends. They both went to work and came back. Neji had to work late one night, so it was just her and the cat hanging out and watching Netflix. Neji got home with takeout, so they ate in front of the TV and then had wine on the balcony. (And then had sex on the balcony- because it was private, thank you very much.)

Tenten changed her tattoo bandages after her shower, so Neji still didn’t see it until the day she took the bandages off completely. And she was in a bit of a rush that morning to get out the door (she ran late admiring her pretty tattoo- so what?) so she’d just had time to kiss him and the cat goodbye before ducking out the door.

(They still hadn’t named the cat, because they hadn’t really meant to adopt him. They were lucky the apartment building allowed pets.)

Tenten went through her work day as normal, occasionally getting compliments on her tattoo, and then went grocery shopping on her way home.

Neji was home already, cat in his lap as he sat over their coffee table going over paperwork. Tenten quietly watched him stroke the purring cat for a few moments before making some noise as she took off her shoes and hollered, “I’m home!”

They swiveled with hilarious synchrony to look at her, then Neji carefully nudged the cat off his lap so he could rise and kiss her. She hummed happily then passed him a bag of groceries, and they headed into the kitchen to put everything away.

Tenten was reaching up to put the tea away in the cupboard when Neji suddenly stopped her and yanked her hand around to examine her wrist.

Aha. He’d spotted her tattoo.

It wasn’t terribly complicated, just his, Lee’s, and Gai’s initials, but the way he stared at it made it seem like it was some alien script.

After a few long moments of him staring blankly and not saying anything, Tenten cleared her throat. “Honey?”

He blinked a few times, then gently lowered her wrist. “It’s… nice.” He meant it, too, and she beamed.

Neji was just as disapproving of the next tattoo, even though he appreciated her first one.

He held her hand again in the chair, all the while telling her that she should stop, even when the tattoo was almost complete and it would be weirder to walk away. Tenten just smiled at him the whole time.

Neji could bluster all he wanted, there was no way she wasn’t getting this tattoo done. She was newly engaged, after all. She needed something to commemorate it.

Not that Neji knew that was why she was getting a tattoo, but he could just see it later and get all flustered.

Neji was grumbling to himself over the permanence of tattoos as he went through his work email on his phone, absently lacing their fingers together on his free hand. Tenten stifled a snort.

Haha, loser, you like your fiance.

The tattoo took a little longer this time- and the artist was just as reticent as before- but before long it was all finished and they were back home going through their list of potential cat names.

Because her new tattoo was on her shoulder blade and therefore almost always covered, Neji didn’t see it until she wasn’t wearing a shirt. And it wasn’t even during sex, surprisingly, it was when they were coming home from a jog and she stripped off her lightweight tee with complaints of the sweat.

She went into the kitchen to get them both some water while Neji put their shoes away, and when she turned around to toss his to him he almost fumbled the catch and was three centimeters short of getting decked in the face.

She blinked at him, startled. Neji didn’t even bother to acknowledge his error, instead marching towards her and spinning her around to examine her back. Her brow furrowed. “Uh, Neji?”

“Your new tattoo.”

“Oh.” His hand drifted slowly over her skin, over the small silhouette of a bird in flight, and his fingers were almost reverent.

It was a tattoo that meant a lot to both of them but especially to Neji, and Tenten was proud to bear it on her skin.

Neji bent his head and pressed a slow kiss to the mark, clearly feeling too emotional to speak. Tenten bit her lip as her own emotions swelled.

Neji stepped back, and she waited for him to say something about how he couldn’t believe she got a tattoo for him.

“Your skin is really sweaty. Gross.” He wiped his mouth.

Ah. “You’re so romantic.”

“Yes. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Tenten had officially landed her dream job, and much to Neji’s disgruntlement that meant getting a tattoo.

“I don’t know why you keep doing this,” he complained after she came home from her consultation. She rolled her eyes in return. She was feeling a little crabby and snappish that day, and his attitude wasn’t helping.

“Because I want to ruin my skin with horrible permanent marks,” she snarled, slamming the door to the coat closet. Neji wisely kept silent. She shot him one last mean look then scooped up The Cat to go anger-cuddle in bed.

Neji gave her some alone time for the next hour, then abruptly came into the room to hand her a bouquet of carnations and a hot pad for her cramps. She had no idea when he’d learned her menstrual cycle, but she appreciated it.

She gave him an half-apologetic look and he kissed her cheek, then retreated again. The Cat (they really needed a name) got up and pulled the door open with his paw, sat for a bit looking down the hallway, then followed after Neji. Tenten yawned and settled the hot pad over her lower stomach before pulling her book off the nightstand to keep reading.

She emerged twenty minutes later to put the carnations in a vase and help Neji with dinner, feeling much better. He absently touched her lower back as she settled next to him with the cutting board and the leeks, and she leaned up to kiss his jaw.

The actual tattooing came later. Neji couldn’t make it, so instead Ino went with Tenten. It was a very different experience- mostly because Ino subtly flirted with the tattoo artist most of the time they were there, and incredibly enough he actually talked back.

The two of them were still deep in conversation even after Tenten had wrapped up paying, but she was happy to just dawdle on her phone while Ino slyly got the man’s phone number- she hadn’t been focused on dating while she was getting her master’s degree, and it was nice to see her so bright and engaging again. She even had the artist blushing at one point, and he was so pale that Tenten was shocked to see the evidence of blood in his veins. She’d really just assumed he was a tattooing robot.

They departed fifteen minutes later with Ino humming happily as she looked at her new contact- “Sai 🖌” and Tenten grinning to herself as she settled gingerly into the passenger seat of Ino’s car (the tattoo was down her spine and it had been extremely painful to get it done but it looked dope as hell).

Ino came up to the apartment for a bit for some snacks and conversation, plus some premium cat snuggles, and headed out soon after with a cheerful wave and promises to get lunch soon.

Neji didn’t get home until Tenten had already gone to bed, sleeping on her stomach after discovering that every other way was pretty uncomfortable. He smelled a little like alcohol when he stopped to kiss her head.

“How was Choji’s bachelor party?” She murmured drowsily.

“Good. Less rowdy than I expected, frankly.” He crossed to the dresser and started changing into his sleeping clothes, and Tenten closed her eyes again.

She dozed off while he was washing up in the bathroom, but woke up again when he settled into bed next to her and kissed her head again. She reached out her arm to settle over his waist. “Glad you had fun,” she whispered.

He laced their fingers together with a wordless murmur, already dozing off. Mr. Cat jumped up onto the edge of the mattress and settled in, tucking his paws underneath himself so he was cat-loaf shaped.

Nice, Tenten thought, and then she was asleep.

She woke up the next morning to Mr. Cat sitting on her butt, which Neji found quite humorous, but she elected to ignore them both and fell back asleep. Neji got up and made himself some toast, then very carefully returned to the bedroom and ate it without getting a single crumb on the bed, which was an incredible talent and the real reason Tenten was marrying him.

(He also shared some butter with Mr. Cat, but would deny it if she asked.)

Tenten woke some twenty-odd minutes later and was ready to get up. She stifled a grunt of pain when she moved her back for the first time and the skin felt like it’d been poked with a needle a bunch of times (for whatever reason), but it was easy to ignore after that.

She bullied Neji into going to make her toast but was not successful in keeping the crumbs off the bed and was reprimanded.

Eventually they had to get up and go do things, which was a bummer. Luckily enough for Tenten the weather was warm enough that she could wear a loose-fitting shirt with no bra and avoid having to bandage her tattoo, and luckily enough for Neji the weather was warm and his fiance walked around with no bra.

(He never said anything, but his eyes lingered.)

They had been going over wedding plans for almost two hours and decided they needed a break. Tenten stood up to stretch, and Neji actually asked, “Can I see the tattoo?”

Obligingly she turned and pulled up the shirt so he could see the minimalist letters going down her back- “PERSIST”.

He ran his hand down her skin right next to the letters, not saying anything. She swivelled her head to look back at him but he didn’t meet her questioning eyes, just stared for several moments longer before saying in a rough voice, “It’s surprisingly sexy.”

“Ex-cuse you, surprisingly?”

“Yes.” He faced her indignance head on and said, “You know how I feel about tattoos.”

“You just weren’t looking at them on the right person,” she purred. She took the shirt off the rest of the way and turned to face him.

Hilariously enough, she was stomach-down for a lot of the sex that afternoon slash evening- Neji flipped her back over so many times when she tried turning to face him that she just settled down like that.

“Settled” being the operative word- the things they did together were pretty, ahem, active.

Tenten made her way out of the bedroom in the late afternoon and walked completely nude into the kitchen, fed Mr. Cat, then hurried away again. Neji welcomed her back with open arms and a keen glint in his eye.

They went out for drinks the next week with their friends to celebrate Tenten’s new job and wound up making their way to a club for some after-drink drinks, which was a great idea that also happened to be horrible for their livers.

Tenten was dancing with Ino and Sakura when she noticed Neji approaching them. He snagged her with a hand on her waist- which made her smile, because Neji wasn’t suave by any means but he was so deliberate in all his actions that sometimes the lines blurred- and pulled her a little ways away so they could dance together.

Tenten beamed up at him. She knew he didn’t really like dancing, or club music, or clubs, but he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to and she was glad to have him here.

She leaned up and pressed a sweet kiss to his mouth, then looped her arms around his neck so they could sway together. He put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, expression as grave as ever, but his grip around her waist was tender. She lightly rubbed her nose against his, humming happily. She was tipsy but not drunk, and that usually had her feeling pretty cuddly.

He pulled her close to him as they turned- it really wasn’t an appropriate dance move for the fast-paced club music, but it was the most Neji would usually do in this setting- and Tenten let out a happy sigh and rested her head against his shoulder.

He let her go back to Sakura and Ino a few songs later, after pressing a parting kiss to her mouth and giving her a sweet smile. Tenten returned to her friends with a happy glow about her, and they immediately proceeded to tease her mercilessly for the rest of the night.

Much later, she and Neji walked arm-in-arm down to where they’d parked the car, waving goodbye as their friends parted ways. Ino and Sakura, who had of course driven together, were hitching along with Shikamaru and Choji on their way home, as both women had cheerfully decided neither of them wanted to be a designated driver and had indulged themselves.

Fortunately for the soon-to-be Hyuga-Huangs, Neji never cared for getting drunk and was perfectly safe to drive. Which meant that Tenten could have a really fun time getting handsy in the passenger seat while he did his best to focus on the road, then end up getting sleepy and not want to do anything other than go to bed once they got home.

Neji obligingly tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, which was nice of him. Then he quietly sat out in the living room drinking tea and petting the cat as he continued wedding planning.

“When will you stop getting tattoos?” Neji demanded.

Tenten yawned. “Dunno. This is only the fourth, you know.” Sai ignored them both as he continued working- which was hilarious, given that he’d become something of a regular in their group of friends now that he and Ino were going steady.

He’d talk when he wanted to, Tenten knew. He was just blunt.

Neji continued to scowl down at her. “Ridiculous.”

She grinned cheekily up at him and shot back, “You gripe a lot for someone who likes to spin me over and stare at my back tattoos during sex.”

Neji flushed crimson, and even Sai let out a little noise and slowed his movements with the needle. Tenten smirked, unabashed.

They were finished twenty minutes later and driving home, Neji still a little pink and refusing to speak. Tenten just smiled held his hand with hers as they drove, running her fingers over his palm.

The magnolia branch going down her thigh wasn’t exactly meaningful like her other tattoos had been, but it was pretty and it was sexy, so Tenten liked it just as much as her others. And for all his blustering, Neji definitely liked all of her tattoos, so maybe she’d be able to get him to shut up on the next one.

It was not the case. “Tenten-”

“Huuuuuushhhhh,” she told him, eyes closed. “I’m celebrating, I’m getting married next week.”

“So am I,” he snapped back. “You don’t see me getting a tattoo.”

She opened her eyes hopefully. “You could-”

“No.” She pouted.

“We could be matching, it’d be cute!”

“No.”

“Hmph.” She exaggerated her pout a little more and was pleased to see him eyeing her mouth.

This time the tattoo was on her right hand- a tiny black heart, tucked into the knuckle closest to her hand on her ring finger by her pinky.

It hurt like the dickens to get it done, and the pain was almost making Tenten’s eyes water- and then it really was, and tears were dripping down her temples.

Neji did not take it well. “Tenten. What’s going on. Are you hurt? Should he stop? Tenten-”

She cracked open one eye and grunted up at him, “Just digging into the bone. I’m good, Sai, keep going.”

Sai, who had not stopped, muttered absently, “Okay.”

Neji glared at her as he tenderly wiped her tears away. “If you’re fine, then stop crying.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Well, I don’t like it so you must cease.”

She smiled softly up at him, her heart melting at his verbose wording. “I’ll try, babe.”

“Done,” Sai said shortly. He pulled back and started started putting his things away. “Your magnolia branch is still the best one.”

Tenten grinned at him- he’d definitely enjoyed the magnolia blossoms the most, seemingly because he liked the artistry that went into it. All of her other tattoos were pretty minimalist, after all. “Yeah, that’s aesthetically my favorite, but the other ones mean a lot to me.”

“Whatever,” Sai said offhandedly. “Let’s go ring you up.”

Tenten bit back a laugh and got out of the chair, lifting her arms above her head to stretch. Neji stood too and grabbed her hand to inspect the tattoo, then placed his palm on the small of her back as they walked over to the front desk.

Tenten paid and got her aftercare kit. “Thanks, Sai. See you later!”

“At your wedding,” he said. “I’m Ino’s plus one.”

Tenten grinned at him, pleased he was volunteering the information and also that he looked so happy to say it. “That’s great! Can’t wait to see you there, then.”

“Hopefully you can’t wait for a few other reasons,” Neji grumbled.

“Right, right- wedding gifts, of course…” They waved to Sai as they walked out the door, and once they were out of sight by the car Neji suddenly pinned her to the door.

“Wedding gifts, Tenten, really?”

She laughed. “I thought it was funny!”

“You’re a menace.” He kissed her slowly, then stepped back and opened the car door for her. She smiled and patted his butt before grandly taking a seat.

Neji sat down in the driver’s seat and started the car. “No more tattoos now.”

“Hm. We’ll see.”

He didn’t even protest this time, just shaking his head with a small smile as he started the drive home.

#ntmonth2019 #nejiten #neji #tenten #sai #fanfic #my writing

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phalloplastyaustralia · 5 years

Text

8.5 weeks post op

Check up today with Gooseman at 8.5 weeks post-op RFF phalloplasty. He was super impressed with how my arm is healing. Everything else is healing well for the most part, besides a few little things. The scar on the underside of my penis has been pretty tight, particularly towards the base. I’ve been aware of this for weeks and have been massaging it with vitamin e and using silicone gel on it, which he wants me to continue doing. He said that the scar around the actual base of my penis is tight as well, which I truly hadn’t given much thought to and assumed it was normal, but that’s because I only have my only experience to base it off, where as he has everyone elses to compare to. He said that the tightness is causing it all to ‘sit a bit high’, which I assume was in reference to my junk that still sits below my penis, including my existing penis. This means that when he pulls my penis up and towards my abdomen, it pulls a lot on my existing penis. This is uncomfortable, BUT it works in my favour when it comes to wanking - I can basically tug gently on my penis and it’s enough to achieve orgasm. At present I will usually alternate between this and stimulating my existing dick, but I do believe I could achieve orgasm by tugging only on my dick, but I’ve still been a bit too anxious to do this, purely due to not wanting to compromise any of the healing process/long-term aesthetic outcome.

My primary concern has been about narrowing at the base, which has consumed a lot of my time the last few weeks. It’s certainly not overly noticeable or significant, but when you’ve forked out as much as I have on a penis, you’ll nitpick the tiniest things. Goossen thinks that the tightening of the incision could be contributing to this, but did acknowledge that I am “less full” and “a bit flatter” at the base, but he’s not concerned about it. Classic. He said that once everything is sitting properly (with implants), as well as when erect, it won’t be an issue. He also mentioned something about the tightness at the base contributing to this? But I don’t remember the specifics.

He appeared very impressed with where my sensation is at. I had convinced myself that I read somewhere that left donor would result in more sensitivity on the right side, and vice versa. Then I was told that the hook up is done on the left and that I would likely experience more sensation on the left. I asked him about this today (whether the hook up was down on the left) and he didn’t confirm/deny this and explained how they try to hook as many nerves up, etc. and basically that there’s no rule of thumb for where you will or won’t experience certain sensations. He said that typically people will experience one side with more erotic than the other and more tactile on another side.

At present, I have extremely strong sensation on the right hand side, slightly less strong sensation down the left, about 1.5-2inches along the incision on the underside up from the base at a lesser intensity, and then fairly dull (by dull, I mean I need to apply significantly more pressure to feel the sensation and it’s not as intense) along the top of my penis until about half an inch of so from the tip, where I feel nothing. Along the right side, all I have to do is run my finger very lightly down the shaft to feel this. Along the left snd on the underside I have to apply slightly more pressure. On the top, I’ve experienced the sensation for a few weeks if I flick it, but within the last week I am starting to feel it more if I rub my finger rapidly on it with a little nit of pressure. This is all displaced sensation, which I feel in my existing penis. At present it’s not a pleasant, good, sexy time feeling, but will be once it settles. Currently it feels like someone is stabbing a pin into the head of my existing penis (which iis great if that’s your thing, but I find it unpleasant. However I always do it, as it’s nice being able to make that connection between my penis and my brain and feeling it as something that exists as a part of my body). At present, I have no tactile sensation. However due to the intensity of the sensation I do have, I am very aware if something hits my penis.

At this stage, I’m booked for February 6th 2020 for stage 2. I had the option of November 21st, but with how close it is to Christmas and the closure period for Goossen and his staff, I chose to push it back. If I were to experience and issues with the hookup, I would go home with an SPC over Christmas until he returns. And as ridiculous as it might sound to some, I really wanna be able to swim over the summer. This also gives me some additional time to recover from stage 1 and for any issues with the scar tightness to settle as much as possible. As well as get back in shape after my stage 1 sedentary life and subsequent weight gain, and save a bit of extra money. As much as I want stage 2 as soon as possible, I think that this is the most sensible thing to do for numerous reasons. I figure that I’ve waited this long, I’m sure I can wait an extra 2 months.

I’m back up to see him again at the end of September to check on everything again, and I presume I’ll head back up again early 2020 to check everything before we go ahead with stage 2.

I am also allowed to run now, provided that everything is “packed firmly” and “well supported”.

I have a little ‘bobble’ sorta thing at the end of one of the incisions on my butt, which has been rather tender and painful. Goossen said it could be a stitch or scar tissue, and if it doesn’t resolve itself by the time I have stage 2, he will revise it. Butt is still tender when seated for long periods and/or bad seating. Still some tightness in the backs of my legs, but nothing that is too bothersome.

My arm is hopefully on the homestretch. I’m still dressing it with MepitelOne, and will continue to do so until I’m fully healed and can switch to silicone sheets. The few little problem areas look like they have improved since Thursday when the dressings were last changed. Fingers crossed that when I go back to the hand therapist next week, I’ll either be healed enough to go dressing free, or very close to it. I try to touch it quite regularly over the top of the dressings (rubbing, patting, scratching, etc. to adjust to the sensation).

As a bit of a related sidebar, I kinda wanted to touch on the arm and the scarring, etc. The significance of the arm graft was something that I had a really hard time swallowing when I first looked at RFF a good decade or so ago. Despite being a weird body part to like, my forearms are probably the only part of my body I do like, and the thought of altering one of them so drastically always terrified me. Because most of the information about RFF has typically been out of the states, I had no idea that the donor site would be replaced with a full thickness from the butt until my consult (why the states haven’t caught up yet is beyond me, truly). Despite already having made the decision to have RFF, this was a game changer for me. And honestly, if I didn’t have tattoos that were compromised when the flap was lifted that make it very obvious that my arm has undergone a major surgical procedure, I don’t think the end result would bother me much at all. It sits SO FLUSH that once my wrist swelling goes down, it will be totally seamless. I know that the conspicuous scarring is a huge deterrent for a lot of people, and I very much understand that, but I think it’s important that people understand that what you see online from guys in the states is NOT what your arm will look like if you have surgery with Goossen. I’m not here to shame or make comments about peoples choices to pursue ALT, abdominal, meta or any other alternative procedure, but I think it’s important that people aren’t scared off by misinformation. This is not to say that guys who have had RFF in the states have lesser or subpar results as due to the use of the split thickness.

TLDR; healing well, few super minor relatively non-issue things that will hopefully sort themselves out, arm looks great, sensation is great, Dr Goossen is the love of my life, shoutout to the under appreciated but equally amazing and skilled Dr Ingram, life with a (bigger) penis is wild and worth every cent, stage 2 booked for Feb 6th 2020, don’t take everything you see on the internet as bible. Gravy.

#australia #phalloplasty #brisbane #dr goossen #ftm #lower surgery #forearm phalloplasty #dr hans goossen #bottom surgery #trans #phallo

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punkpoemprose · 5 years

Text

December 1st- Ink

Universe: Modern AU, Tattoo Artist! Kristoff Rating: M (Mature for non-descriptive sexual content & innuendo and Anna said fuck once) Length: Words 4184

You can blame a few people for this one. @frozenmusings for that artwork of Viking! Kristoff with the sleeve tat that I couldn’t find when I was writing but is absolutely gorgeous. And @karis-the-fangirl and @upthenorthmountain for reminding me how badly I wanted a tattoo artist AU when they posted about “tit for tat” which I still desperately want you to write.

Anyway, sorry for the lateness! Here we go!

This wasn’t his first rodeo. It wasn’t even his tenth. He’d heard every argument in the books and his counter argument was the same every single time, no matter how people yelled or how many eyelashes were batted at him.

“You’re not making this decision with a clear head, so I’m sorry. The answer is no.”

She looked like she was about to cry and he steeled himself. Kristoff Bjorgman had never been the type of man to be shaken from his convictions by a few tears. He had been called ‘no-nonsense’, ‘determined’ and even occasionally ‘obstinate’, but he’d never been afraid to live up to everyone.

It didn’t mean he was heartless.

He sighed and reached for the box of tissues on his desk, ready to hand them over in a moment’s notice. The distraught young woman before him, a pretty little redhead with freckles and blue eyes full of emotion, had come into his shop for a walk-in consultation but she’d pushed him to take it from a consultation to an appointment within the first ten minutes.

It was hardly unheard of. He’d been willing to work on a walk in several times in the past, but the last thing he wanted to do was put ink to skin on an emotional tattoo virgin. He knew implicitly that it was a horrible plan because impulse tats always came with regrets. He wasn’t going to tattoo her for the same reasons he wouldn’t tattoo someone drunk or high and he’d explain it to her before or after she cried it out.

“Look,” he said, already offering her a tissue with a sad smile, “It’s nothing personal. There’s about six shops on this side of town that would do this for you, no questions asked, but you walked into mine and I only tattoo people when I think they’re in the right headspace. You’ve never had a tattoo before and you look like you’re about to breakdown. So if you want you can leave and find someone else, or I can sketch something for you and you can come back in a week or so and tell me then if you still want it. Fair?”

She huffed out a sigh that sounded a little strangled to him, like she was choking down a sob, but she didn’t take a tissue from him and folded her hands in her lap calmly. She was staring through him as she weighed her options and he wondered if she was taking the time to truly decide or whether she was just trying to calm herself down.

“That’s fair. I knew I should have just dyed my hair or something… but I…” she stopped for a moment and closed her eyes. Whatever she had to say it was easier for her to not look at him when she did. “I’ve wanted one for a while and he never let…”

Her eyes opened again and she looked down at her own folded hands. Suddenly despite the open air style of his studio, their interaction felt intimate. He blamed it on the lack of other people in the shop. Even his dog Sven who usually greeted the customers at the door was off on some other canine errand and Kristoff wasn’t sure whether he wanted him to return or not to break the tension.

“Bad break up?”

He didn’t know why he was asking. It was private information. He didn’t need to know why she was distraught, he just needed to make sure she knew why he wouldn’t ink her while she was in such a state.

Despite the occupational hazard of small talk that came with his job, kind of like a bartender or hairdresser, Kristoff had never been the type to initiate conversation. He figured he was generally well liked, given his number of return customers, but he had a feeling it had more to do with his work and clean shop than it did his conversational skills. He’d always been content to listen than to pry or talk about any concern of his own.

But this girl, Anna, seemed like she was ready to explode and maybe he was beginning to soften a bit for a pretty face. No one was around to see it, so he decided that he was allowed.

She looked at him with a bit of shock on her face, but it quickly disappeared, and she nodded.

“I won’t bore you with the details,” she said, her voice cracking in a way that he could feel in his chest, “But this is the first time in a long time that I’ve been able to make a decision for myself… and I’m sorry… I should have thought it through before I came here to bother you, it’s just. God. I wanted to belong to myself again. Does that make sense? He hated women with tattoos and I’d always liked them, so it seemed like a good way to say ‘good riddance’.”

He nodded. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard something like this from someone just coming out of a relationship. Hell, he’d almost done it himself when he’d been a dumb seventeen year old and he’d found out his first and last girlfriend had been kissing every guy in the grade. He was glad he didn’t of course, but Anna seemed to have a bit more conviction and twice as good of a reason.

“It makes sense. But if it makes sense to you now it’ll make sense to you in a week, yeah? I don’t do this very often, but uh, well if you want after I draw it up for you I can transfer it on you and Sharpie it on so you can see what it’d be like for the week give or take. It won’t look as great, but it might help with… you know, uh what you’re feeling.”

He wondered if he was blushing. He hadn’t blushed in a long time, after all he’d tattooed enough naked women to be over getting embarrassed for the rest of his life, but there was something about approaching her feelings, a stranger, that made him feel flushed. There was a part of his head that told him it was justified by something between the way he desperately wanted to make her smile and the way he wanted to go drop her ex-boyfriend into the nearest body of water with a pair of cement shoes.

She smiled at that and he practically melted into his chair. She was still teary eyed and a bit exhausted looking, but there was a little light in her eyes that told him that it may have been the kindest thing someone had done for her in a very long time. It made him want to be even nicer.

“So a sunflower right?”

“Please!”

***

Anna laid awake in her bed, tracing the faux tattoo on her bare shoulder with one finger as she held her book open with the other hand. She couldn’t keep her mind on reading it. She was too excited for her appointment first thing in the morning where it would be made permanent.

She closed her eyes and remembered how kind Kristoff had been when she stumbled into his tattoo parlor a complete wreck. He hadn’t needed to go out of his way to draw the line art onto her, but he had. He’d explained it off as if it were just something to do on a slow day, but she for all her past trouble understanding intentions, had seen right through it. He was a good man and he had been sweeter to her than anyone had been in a very long time.

She hoped that she was going to be able to keep it together when she arrived in the morning.

Setting the book down and laying back into the bed she realized how most of her excitement wasn’t even about the tattoo, though she was thrilled to be finally getting it and her week-long trial period had left her without any doubts, a major part of the excitement was owing to the fact that she was going to see him and his hands were going to be on her again. She could still feel the ghost of his calloused finger pads on her freckled shoulder. He’d been gentle in his machinations, his hand resting and shifting gently across her skin as he moved the marker, fingers patting powder onto the ink to keep it from smearing as he worked, and she’d almost sworn that once or twice his fingers swiped at her skin wholly unnecessarily. She was likely wrong, her imagination running wild that he’d found her something beyond a weepy mess, and yet she’d sworn he’d been blushing at least a little bit when he helped her slip her shirt back over her shoulder. Of course he was a gentleman, maybe he blushed every time he laid his hands on a lady for his work.

She smiled to herself and tried her best to fall asleep.

Somehow I seriously doubt it.

***

“Fuck!”

Kristoff chuckled. He couldn’t help himself.

“Anna, I just touched your shoulder, I haven’t even set up the gun yet.”

She felt herself going red and closed her eyes, as if her blocking out her own vision of the space around her could hide how embarrassing she was being. She had been so excited the night before, and now she was a mess. She’d never been very good at pain and despite Kristoff’s repeated promise that the first few minutes were the worst and that the pain dulls fast, it was all she could do to keep herself from shaking from her nerves alone.

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be so nervous! I’m sorry!”

He shook his head. Her eyes were closed tight. It was nothing new to him, scared first time clients were just a part of the business. What wasn’t run of the mill was the way he wanted to reach out and tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear and maybe cup her jaw and maybe tell her how he’d be happy to just spend the rest of the day in her presence with or without tattooing her despite the fact that he also very much wanted to mark her in a way he’d never wanted to do any other client in his six year career.

He settled on the safest bet and tried to erase the others from his mind.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re my only appointment today, so we don’t have to start until you’re feeling good about it. And if you want to back out, that’s fine too.”

“No. I want to do this.” She opened her eyes to see that he was still sitting to her side. His eyes were on her and she could see that there was no judgement there. “Plus you said it won’t even be that bad.”

He shook his head, “I don’t want to make it sound like a walk in the park or anything, but yeah most people agree the shoulder is the least painful.”

“What do you think though?”

He smiled that she wanted to know what he thought specifically. He wasn’t one of the artists that was head to toe ink, but he’d had a few pieces done since he’d started in the field at eighteen. He hadn’t ever had one on his shoulder specifically, but the sleeve on his right arm had started on his shoulder and had worked down his arm. He was certain that despite the intricacy of the design that it had been far less painful than the tattoo on his chest.

He shrugged off his flannel and watched Anna’s eyes go wide as she caught sight of his arm. He tried his best not to react as he tugged up the sleeve on the t-shirt beneath, so she could see his shoulder. It was hardly impressive compared to some of the sleeves he’d seen on others, or even compared to some he’d done himself, but he liked it well enough and judging by Anna’s reaction it seemed that she found it impressive.

It was a piece of Norse knotwork, a recreation of a wood carving in the wall of a 12th-century stave church that he longed to visit in person. The curves moved up his arm, lightly shaded to let the knotwork stand out against his skin, curves of lines following the contours of his arm that moved like living things along with him.

“Honestly it was my third tattoo, so I had stuff to compare it to, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I mean it’s going to be painful, but I promise it won’t be too much for you to handle and we can take all the breaks you want or need.”

Kristoff watched like it was in slow motion as she reached out to touch his arm gently. Her finger followed the path of one of the knots from his elbow up to his shoulder and he could scarcely breathe. She was so focused on what she was doing, as if it were wholly natural for her to touch him and he was enjoying it.

“I was a foster kid,” he said, the words tumbling from his lips without meaning to. He wasn’t the sharing sort. “When I was sixteen a family offered to adopt me but I didn’t want to be a burden and they kept me anyway. When I turned eighteen they still wanted me, they supported me and I wouldn’t be here without them. When I turned twenty they helped me figure out where I came from, one of those DNA tests and when I realized I was Norwegian… I sort of ran with it and honored it the only way I knew how.”

Anna blinked then pulled her hand away as if burned. She opened her mouth to apologize, but she saw his smile and stopped herself. He was already telling her there was nothing to apologize for.

“It suits you,” she said quietly, trying to subdue her blush as she chided herself about personal space as if she were a child again. It wasn’t his fault that she was attracted to him, that she’d forgotten completely how to act around other people.

“Thank you,” he said. And he meant it.

He pulled his flannel back on and cleared his throat. He meant it and that meant he had to remember where he was, what he was doing. Anna was sweet and beautiful and above all else she was his client. He needed to shake all the thoughts from his mind about how much he would enjoy letting her trace all his tattoos as he traced all her curves with his mouth.

“So how are you feeling about all of this now?”

She glanced around the room for a moment. Despite the fact that there was no one else in the shop and the fact that she didn’t need to strip down beyond her tank top to get her tattoo he’d brought her to a private room. She noticed it now, the bits and baubles that made it his more than the rest of his shop. There were flannels on a hook by the door that all looked well worn. A few clearly had been sewn back up on the elbows with patches. The flash on the wall was all hand drawn Thor’s hammers, Odin’s eyes, and more knotwork like what was present on his arm. In the corner of the room was a large dog bed for Sven, his wolfhound mix that was currently holding down the fort outside the closed door.

“Suddenly very good.”

“Okay,” he said, giving her a smile as he started off prepping her arm by removing the last of the sharpie on her arm, “If you start to feel not very good tell me, okay? You’ve got a little time before we start.”

She smiled back, “I, um… I don’t think that’s going to be an issue. I’m feeling a bit better now.”

“Good, I’m going to talk you through what I’m doing so I don’t scare you again, okay?”

Anna lost herself in the process, relaxing back onto the chair as he wiped away the temporary ink, shaved away the fine hair on her shoulder, and applied the pattern to her skin with transfer paper. His voice, walking her through the steps was soothing, though she barely paid attention to his words as she relaxed herself completely.

She had decided that she was in excellent hands, and the gentle touches of his hands on her made her wish she were with him for something more than business. She wished that he’d slip the gloves from his hands and change course for someplace a little more exciting than her shoulder. She bit her lip at the thought and was then pulled from her reverie by his voice calling her name.

“Anna? Are you ready?”

The calm evaporated, and she was suddenly all to aware of the fact that she was just moments away from getting her first tattoo.

“As I’ll ever be, I’m afraid.”

Kristoff could see her anxiety returning and he could understand it. It’d been more than six years since his first and he could still remember nearly wanting to vomit the whole time. He couldn’t really relate any more, but he felt a lot of empathy for her.

“Okay, keep your arm still alright? If it gets to be too much or you need a break or feel like you’re going to pass out or you need a drink or anything at all, you tell me, okay? I’m going to take care of you.”

He really wanted to take care of her.

“I’m getting a sunflower because before my parents passed away, we had a family camp up in the mountains and there were fields of sunflowers on the drive up.”

He hadn’t asked, but he appreciated her telling him anyway. She hadn’t asked about his and she’d appreciated him telling her anyway. There was a weight hanging in the air between them, something that was about their sharing and about something more. She could almost feel the pressure of it and then it dissipated pleasantly when she heard his voice.

“I’m honored you picked me to do it.”

“I’m honored you agreed.”

And with that she nodded, and she felt like her sister’s cat Olaf had decided to go to town on her shoulder.

“Ah!”

He didn’t mean to hush her gently when it came out of his mouth and he didn’t mean to quietly apologize to her either.

“Sorry Anna, I know it hurts, it’ll be alright in a moment, trust me.”

She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. She was fairly certain it didn’t even hurt all that much and that it was more the foreignness of the situation that made it all seem worse. She focused on breathing through her nose and fought back against the little tears in the corner of her eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t tense up. It’s okay, you’re doing great! Relax a bit and it’ll get better okay?”

“Easy for you to say.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that, “I know, do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, I think I’ll get used to it in a minute or two.”

He focused on keeping his hand steady after that, following the curves of the pattern as he created petals of ink on her skin. He wiped away gently at the blood and ink that appeared on her shoulder with the pinpricks the machine’s needles made in her skin. She was holding perfectly still, and he found he was able to work along at a nice pace as he focused on inking her skin.

Anna was somewhat surprised when she relaxed again and thought for a moment how amazing it was that what was once painful was now entirely bearable. Shortly after this realization came, she found the courage to glance in her periphery at what he was doing and how far along they were.

He was sexy when he was focused. She’d already decided it within a moment of laying eyes on him as he focused on tattooing her. If it weren’t for the fact that she had the state of mind not to, she would tell him so. She wondered if anyone had ever told him before.

That was when she felt a change again, but it wasn’t for the worse.

“Ah! Kristoff!”

She heard the gun stop before she realized what had happened, or even registered the sounds she’d made. A throaty moan, and then a needy call of his name followed by silence.

She could only imagine the shade of crimson she was as he looked at her nervously, likely trying to figure out what he had done to hurt her when she was the opposite of hurt beyond the ache in her arm.

“Are you alright?”

Anna had no idea how to respond to that. She felt hot and exhausted and embarrassed and she hadn’t thought that she could have made a bigger fool of herself, but somehow, she’d managed.

It clicked when he saw how she looked away from him suddenly, her body going from lax to stiff faster than he could say “that’s the first orgasm I’ve ever given a woman”, which he of course had the good sense not to say.

“Oh.”

“I should not be allowed in public. I’m a menace, oh my God. I’m so sorry!”

He, after spending half the session thinking less than gentlemanly thoughts about what he would do with her if she ever wanted to see him for non-tattoo purposes, immediately felt guilty.

“Why are you sorry? I mean… I know what just... but why would you be…?”

She was mortified. She couldn’t even answer him as she was trying to make mental plans as to how she was going to go the rest of her life with a half a sunflower on her shoulder. She had already paid him, she could bolt now and live with it. She didn’t think she could ever have anyone else tattoo her ever again.

“Anna, it happens. I mean… never to me, or someone I’ve been tattooing, but I’ve heard it happens. Usually with thigh and hip tattoos, but it happens, and you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“Yes I do!” she replied before she could think any better of it, “I do because I’m recently single and there’s supposed to be a ‘mourning period’ you know? And you’ve been so nice to me and I’ve been zoning out thinking about what else you could do with your hands and I…”

She trailed off and he blinked.

“You’ve been thinking about…”

“I have to leave here and never come back, don’t I?” she said, already judging how fast she could get out the door.

“Well if you do I have to as well because I’ve been thinking about the same sort of thing.”

“Wait… what?”

Kristoff sighed and bemoaned his lack of experience with women beyond a few bad dates. There was no way that this was a normal way to tell her that he was interested in her, but normal fell by the wayside a while ago for them.

“Look I think you’re a very attractive woman and since you walked into my shop last week you’ve been on my mind and I’ll admit to thinking some things about you that I probably shouldn’t think about a client. I don’t want that to freak you out though and I know we’re here alone and you… well just know I’m not upset and I’m not going to act on anything because until I get this tattoo done there’s a power imbalance here and I’m not that kind of guy.”

Anna held her breath for a moment. She thought about pinching herself until the ache in her arm told her she certainly wasn’t dreaming.

“What about after?”

“After what?”

He was confused and embarrassed and already thinking about the other places in town he would trust enough to finish her tattoo for her given the fact that she’d probably not want him to finish it.

“After you finish my tattoo… I mean I understand the concept of not fraternizing with your customers, but after you’re done?”

He couldn’t believe what she was saying and he had to take a moment to connect her words to meaning in his mind.

“Then,” he said finally coming to his senses to blot away the excess ink on her arm gently, “I suppose if you… if we… I uh, would want to do things right. Maybe after I finish your tattoo I’ll take you out to dinner?”

“Maybe after you finish, I’ll kiss you and tell you dinner sounds great?”

“Then maybe I should get to it? If you’re feeling ready?”

Anna nodded, wondering if ‘doing things right’ meant he’d do the things she’d been imagining to her after dinner. She wanted to see what he could do with his hands when he was trying to make her feel something. While he’d blamed it on the tattoo gun she was pretty certain her few moments of bliss had been owing more to his proximity and her keen imagination. She wondered what it might be like not to imagine.

“Absolutely.”

#kristanna #kristanna advent 2018 #tattoo artist au #tbh this is fluff #meet cute?#You'll see

51 notes · View notes

pretty-little-pink · 3 years

Note

'You may look, and touch. I have no qualms.' Dark soothed. He slowly reached out to take one of Author's hands and first brought it up to his lip before placing it on his chest. He was still artificially beating his heart so hopefully it would soothe him a little. 'Truly. Anywhere on my body if yours to touch, but I do ask that you avoid one scar. If you come near it I will tell you.' Dark murmured. At the question he nodded and cleared his throat. 'Yes, little one. Consultation. I know that they distress you, and if funds are the issue then I assure you, I would cover everything- or half, if you wish to pay some. But, it would have to be done soon. Within the year, best circumstances. Once a soul share is completed then that is it. The body cannot be harmed any further, by anything. No piercings, no tattoos, no surgeries. A knife may pierce you but it will heal before any damage is done. In other words, if you wish to 'go wild' then this is your last year to do so.' Dark clarified with a hum. Hopefully... hopefully Author wasn't holding on to what distressed him for more nefarious reasons. He was going to get him into a therapist, one way or another, but hopefully he could be talked too first. 'It would be completely off books. No one would ever need to know.'

Author made a soft sound when his hand was taken, shifting to hold his clothes comfortably and covering with one hand only. He was hesitant, but slowly moved his fingers over Dark's chest and along the scars. His hands used to be tough and calloused, but they had gotten softer since Dark had changed his life. Understandably so.

"Okay.", Was all Author could reply, quietly. They could do that soul sharing whenever, of course. He knew, if there was anything he still wanted done, Dark would wait for it. He simply wasn't sure what he really wanted to do with his body. He used his writing, still active ever since he's written it, to make sure he was as "manly" as he could be. He couldn't change his appearance though, not like that.

"I'll ... I'll tell you when I want that.", He mumbled softly. He felt like an if was more suited than when, but he also didn't want to worry Dark. Or whatever emotion that might've caused. Instead, he pulled his hand back, not wanting to continue at this moment. He wondered if he wanted to go through that. That change, that pain, the adjustment.

"Let's continue.", He mumbled, shifting to lay down again. Maybe he could come to terms with his body first, maybe he could find something good in it. Maybe if he ever let Dark see, let him touch. Maybe when he heard Dark call every piece of him beautiful. Maybe then he'd feel better.

#torture anon #bloody ink #anonymous

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hellomissmabel · 7 years

Text

The whole package

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Lane Tucker x plus size!reader

Warnings: There’s partial nudity but it’s not gonna hurt you. For a Lance Tucker fic, this is surprisingly safe.

Word count: 1.789

Summary: One more tournament and Lance is ready to settle down and quit professional gymnastics. He loves Y/N and has been thinking about their future for a while now. But Lance isn’t very good at planning and one lazy Saturday morning, when he’s chilling in bed with his girl, he makes an impromptu decision.

A/N: I’ve posted a masterlist with all upcoming plus size!reader fics. I keep getting new ideas, so this masterlist will be updated as the ideas come and go. There will always be an announcement post. If you want on the tag list, please comment on the announcement post of send me an ask!

This is the sequel to Good at worshipping (Lance Tucker x plus size!reader)

Inspired by this post by @thatawkwardtinyperson and by a conversation I had earlier with @winterboobaer. This one’s for you, @hollycornish!

All plus size fics can be found here

It’s been a couple weeks since Lance left professional gymnastics behind him. It was a tough decision given he’s the self-proclaimed “God of gymnastics” and Lance was adamant you’d accompany him on his final tournament. Unfortunately the germs got to you first so you couldn’t attend, but Lance made sure you wouldn’t miss a minute of it. It started as he was getting ready in his dressing room and a cheeky thought popped into his mind. He instantly grabbed his phone, walking over to the bathroom mirror. With great concentration, he took a selfie of his divinely sculpted body, adding a little message for you before pressing send.

You looked down at your beeping phone with great excitement. Only as soon as you opened his new text message, your face fell in frustration. Lance, every the asshole, had written a complimentary “Are you horny yet?” to go with the picture of his muscled torso.

With his phone in hand, he live streamed himself and the entire games up until the point it was his moment to shine and he passed on the phone to one of his crew members. He won his last gold that day and announced to the world that he was retiring. When the reporters asked for a reason why, he made quick work of his reply.

“Because I’m in love,” Lance commented and you’re pretty sure that same day the whole world forgave Lance for his past mistakes.

It’s safe to say life’s been good to the both of you. Lance is now coaching promising young Americans to their own gold medal and you’re still drawing tattoo designs at Body Cult, only thanks to Lance’s winnings you were able to buy the place from Frankie. Your former boss got an interesting business proposal in Los Angeles and didn’t know what to do with the shop. He could’ve passed it on to his brother Archie, but Archie isn’t as artistic as you. So you came to an agreement and now you’re your own boss.

And being your own boss has its perks. It means you can take Saturday mornings off and sleep in with your boyfriend, Lance, who cancelled his morning practice for you. You’re on your stomach, leaning on your elbows, your mind warped into an imaginary world as you’re rereading your favourite book. You’re just wearing panties and no top, this September’s Indian summer in combination with Lance’s hot-blooded company providing you with enough warmth during the night.

His chest is lain across your legs, one arm lazily slung over your bum as he keeps himself busy on his phone with the other. He’s wearing his sunglasses indoors even though the curtains pretty much break all the light falling from the windows. But Lance is extra as fuck and doesn’t care how it makes him look.

“Baby?,” Lance asks you as he gently runs his palm over your ass cheeks.

“Yes, Lance?,” you hum softly, putting your book down and craning your body so your eyes lock with your boyfriend’s.

He gives your skin a slight pinch, showing the picture on his phone to you. “What do you think of this one?”

Rolling your eyes at Lance, you chuckle at the photograph of yet another tattoo. “Haven’t you got enough tattoos already?” You eye the full sleeve inked on his left arm and point towards the matching tattoos on his ribcage.

Lance sighs exasperatingly, scrolling on his phone with his eyebrows raised in concentration, slightly annoyed with you. You’re the tattoo artist, you’re supposed to endorse his tattoo endeavours. “Or this one?”

It’s not necessarily the design you don’t like, but more the fact that he’s looking up the work of other tattoo artists first without consulting you about it. You’re an artist and in the art business, whether it’s tattoos or paintings or lyrics, it’s not-done to copy another artist’s designs. So if your asshole wants a new tattoo, he should just come to you with his ideas. But you’re too shy to actually call him out on it.

So instead, you go with this. “It’s alright,” you reply dryly with a mild shrug.

“It’s alright?,” Lance heaves out with a light groan, taking off his sunglasses. “You call this alright?”

“Yep,” you reply casually, popping the ‘p’ just to push his buttons a little more.

“Baby,” Lance coos in a sultry tone, sensing you’re holding something back from him. “What’s going on with you?”

Playing with the delicate white lace of your underwear, he hooks his fingers underneath the fabric and pulls a little at it, grinning cockily at you. “I really want another tattoo, Y/N, and I want you to do the handiwork again,” he flirts with you. “I promise I’ll reward you plenty.”

Suddenly he releases the fabric of your underwear and it snaps against your skin, causing you to yelp softly and bat his hands away. To soothe the slight sting, he continues to caress your cheeks, massaging the plump flesh with the palms of his soft hands.

“I have no doubt about that,” you whisper seductively before your tone loses its sweet tenor and turns hard. “I’ll gladly give you another tattoo, but not that one or the other one before that.”

Lance gives you a puzzled look, pressing his lips to your bum. “Okay, then I’ll keep looking until I find one you like,” he concludes with a final nib to your skin, sucking a light mark on your ass before slapping it lightly to emphasise his words.

“No, Lance,” you finally snap at him even though you don’t want to get angry with him. “Don’t you get it?” You turn around and sit up, pushing him away when he tries to crawl up to you. “I don’t want to give you a tattoo that’s drawn by another artist.”

You pry his phone out of his hands and toss it on the pillows behind you, out of his reach. “Who did that sleeve for you?,” you ask with raised eyebrows as you gesture to his arm. “I drew every single twist and twirl. By. Hand.”

Lance instantly understands where you’re going with this and sits cross-legged in front of you, his knees touching yours and his hands reaching out to take yours in his. “I love every twist and every twirl you designed for me, baby.” He searches your eyes for forgiveness, squeezing your hands affectionately. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m an asshole, you know that. But I’m – “

“Yeah, yeah, you’re an asshole but you’re my asshole,” you interrupt him softly, casting your eyes downwards. “I’m sorry, too, Lance. I’m just –“

This time it’s Lance’s turn to interrupt you, releasing one of your hands to gently lift up your chin, guiding your eyes back to his. “You’re just very shy and very insecure. About your art, your body,… even sometimes about us.” You look into his eyes and push back some of his messy bedhead hair out of his eyes. “Well, you know what, baby? I’m insecure too.”

Snorting at his surprising confession, you bite your lower lip. “I’m serious, Y/N!,” he retorts with a playful chuckle.

“You know I don’t care about sizes and all that bullshit. You can have size X at Calvin Klein and size Y at Armani. And the word plus size is just a marketing technique, Y/N. I love your curves, I adore your love handles and your cellulite and you are just such a stunning woman. You get me rock hard with just one sway of those damn hips…”

His comment makes you laugh a little and you smile tenderly at your boyfriend. “You are an insanely talented artist and people come from very far to get their tattoos drawn by you. I’m the living proof of that!”

Dramatically, he gestures towards where the tattoo of his gold medal peaks out of his boxer briefs, then towards the matching tattoos he got with you on his ribcage and lastly he runs his hand down his left arm, his full tattoo sleeve.

“And yes, I’m insecure too. But do you know what I’m insecure about?”

You shake your head no and he leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, or so you think. Instead his lips hover over yours and he leaves your hanging as he slants his lips across yours teasingly slow, whispering against them at a tantalising rhythm.

“I’m insecure about my body now I’m not competing professionally anymore. I’m worried that I might not stay in shape. But luckily I’ve got you to keep me fit.”

You chuckle warmly at his tongue-in-cheek remark and he squeezes your thigh, pecking your lips in a tender kiss. “I’m also very insecure about us, baby. Because, as you know, you’re too good person and I don’t deserve you.”

Another loving kiss in between words and he’s got your mind reeling. “But you’ve stuck with me for so long, I’m thinking you might actually really love me.”

“Of course I love you, Lance!,” you tell him straightaway, blurring all his insecurities by pressing your lips to his hard in a searing kiss. “I love you so much, so very much.”

“Then let’s make it official,” he mumbles to yours lips before engaging them in a second, passionate kiss. “I want a set of wedding rings tattooed on my body. I don’t care where, just as long as you do them.”

“Wedding rings?,” you squeak in sincere astonishment. “Wh- What – Are you – Are you proposing?”

“Do you want me to propose?,” he counteracts your jumbled statement with a classic, lopsided grin.

“Hell yes I want you to, Tucker,” you heave out in a sharp exhale, “It’s about time!”

He grins wickedly at you, softly laying you down onto the bed as he moves on top. “Then this is me proposing. I don’t have any rings yet, but I’ll make quick work of it. First thing Monday morning,” he promises as he ghosts his lips over your pulse point. “But that wedding ring tattoo…”

He stops his ministrations just as he reaches your sweet spot, that particular sensitive part of your neck that turns you into putty in his hands. “You’re taking me to the shop after breakfast and you’re drawing them.”

You lean your forehead to Lance’s, cupping his face in your hands. “O-Okay,” you croak out through the happy tears tingling your eyes. “You want me to do the tattoo as well?”

Lance wets his lips, holding his bottom lip captive between his teeth as he nods darkly. “Absolutely. The whole package.”

His fingertips dance over the swells of your breasts and down the valley of your belly button, breathing heavily against your lips. “So you’ll marry me?”

Tagging: @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyrie @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplanbuckybarnes @nenyakj @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15 @hollycornish @delicatecapnerd @camigt1999 @learisa @curlyexpat @palaiasaurus64 @fanndas-snow-goddess @crisssivonne @yourenotrogers @tomhollandzs @supernaturaldean67 @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @aletheladyinred @beyondbarnes @xbergiex @reniescarlett @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @lovemarvelousfics @yknott81 @rrwilson66 @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers @sammyissassy @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @kudosia @bellejeunefillesansmerci @lumelgy @mizzzpink @southernbellestatues @daringtodreamawake @neurotic-narwhal @cokamarie24 @blue1928 @movingonto-betterthings @breezy1415 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @jesspfly @weenie-butt @debzybrazy @fuckingchaotic @always-an-evans-addict @petersunderroos

Tag list for all plus size stories: @suz-123 @kiwi71281 @whatisaheroanyway @ilovebeingjoyful @veronicalei @meganlane84 @thescarsweleave @isaxhorror @pleasantdreamqueen @georgiadean37 @revlismoriarty @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @evyiione @salamander-falls @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @jughead-wuz-here @jasmineladjevardi @sonofadeanwinchester @3dsaunt @marvel-at-bucky @nothin-after-79 @sexy-sea-basss @shesmade0fcandy @breezy1415 @wtfisalltherandoms @mrs-dr-strange @disneymarina @secondsandstars @brandybucky @amethyst09

The whole package tag list: @nosleeptillbucky @missinstantgratification @yknott81 @katemcgraw @marveldcmistress @void-imaginations @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @spiderman-2013 @3dsaunt @averystrainingwheels @geekyweed @lycanmomma @acunningstargazer

#the whole package #lance tucker #plus size reader #lance tucker x plus size!reader #lance tucker x plus size reader #lance tucker x plus size! reader

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flarebrake63-blog · 4 years

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Fat Freezing center In Kings hill

Femiwand details

Content

Fat Freeze!

Fat Freezing Brighton & Hove.

Fat Freezing.

British organization Of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons.

Cryolipolysisfat Freezingbristol

At Pall Mall we ensure that you receive the most effective feasible suggestions as well as treatment which you are comfortable with the treatment, process and also aftercare. Helena needs to carry out an appointment and also a patch examination on one of the skin tags prior to treating further skin tags at a different consultation. For large skin tags, electrocautery with Visual Nurse Moira is the most effective treatment, for very large one minor surgery perhaps is needed. Skin tag removal is a cosmetic treatment, which is very rarely offered through the NHS. It is not likely that you will need time far from help skin tag removal, however this all depends on your specific requirements and the kind of job that you do. If you have a local anaesthetic, after that are able drive to and from health center on the day of your operation.

Is 75 too old for a facelift?

Sept. 22, 2004 -- A facelift for grandma may not be as risky as once thought. New research shows that older adults over age 75 have about the same risk of complications following facelifts as middle-aged adults of comparable health.

Cauterisation is the most effective elimination method for skin tags, by cold and eliminating the sore. Throughout your consultation our medical professional will discuss with you how your skin tag will be eliminated. A totally qualified Consultant/ Physician will thoroughly examine your skin tag prior to any kind of therapy begins and likewise inspect your medical history. Your complimentary consultation will be with one of our Surgical Nurses. Throughout the appointment, they will assess your skin tag and decide whether it is suitable for therapy and what kind of treatment would be most advantageous. On the day of your treatment, you will certainly likewise be analyzed by the Physician; this is included in the general cost of the treatment.

Originally I was fidgeted yet all the staff were truly respectful and kind as well as I was soon secure.

As a competitors champion I was dealt with the same as a paying client, without any pushy hard sell.

An enjoyable setting with time for description and conversation.

Constantly feel my best interests go to the heart of their suggestions and treatment strategy alternatives.

Dr shirin discussed the whole procedure throughly seeing to it I comprehended as well as was most professional.

Will definitely be putting all of my treatments through Dr Shirin.

Having actually done large research study prior to having any type of treatments I selected Elite as well as have not looked back.

As constantly beautiful experience at Elite If you want a professional service in a wonderful clean atmosphere after that I suggest you give Elite a try.

Fat Freeze!

You will have an official examination with a medical care professional. Throughout this time you will be able to explain your case history, symptoms and elevate any worries that you could have. If you have a skin sore such as a mole, cyst, excrescence or skin tag as well as would certainly like it gotten rid of, it is normally a straightforward procedure. You might wish to take this action due to the fact that it may be painful and also limiting your movement. Or it can look unsightly and also it is having an unfavorable effect on your self-confidence, specifically if it is on the face or an additional noticeable part of your body. Problems are rare after this treatment nevertheless infection, response to anaesthesia, lesion reoccurrence, skin atrophy, skin ulcer, skin discolouration as well as the development of a scar can occur.

Full elimination-- your entire skin lesion is cut out as well as operatively eliminated plus a margin of skin around its edge. The wounds will be shut utilizing adhesive, glue strips or stitches.

Is a facelift major surgery?

A facelift often will enhance the appearance of your cheek, jaw line and neck region but is considered major surgery.

There is no covert expenses and also you are not obliged to wage your treatment. Skin tag removal procedures start from ₤ 60.00 depending on the size and area.

We also utilize excision as a quickly, efficient way to eliminate moles as well as skin lesions. The one stop clinic in Cheshire with experts in Chiropody, Dermal Fillers, Laser hair removal, Tattoo as well as Red vein removal. Visual Skin Clinic in Cheshire providing Profhilo, CACI treatments, Microblading as well as Electrolysis. Complications are unusual after this therapy; nevertheless, infection, response to anaesthesia, lesion reoccurrence, skin degeneration, skin ulcer, skin discolouration as well as the development of a scar can happen. You will see a scab type at the treatment site and some completely dry, shrivelled skin where the sore was located the area will certainly quickly recover and it is generally fully healed within 7 days. If you have several skin tags, it is quicker and much more cost-effective to have a liquid nitrogen treatment. Advanced Electrolysis technician Helena gets rid of skin tags making use of innovative electrolysis very comparable toelectrocautery-- the sore is excised making use of a fine electric cutting idea as opposed to a scalpel.

What is a lunchtime facelift?

The “lunchtime facelift,” or thread lift, is a faster, cheaper and less invasive version of the traditional facelift. As its name implies, the procedure uses threads (sutures) to lift different parts of the facial skin. Essentially, it hooks the skin and pulls it up.

Anybody can develop skin tags, but they are particularly usual in older individuals. This method of eliminating skin tags makes use of an electrical existing and needle, working in comparison to the cold method, by rather warming up the lesion. It's even silent common for the skin tags to simply diminish normally after cryotherapy treatment. Book your appointment today as well as we'll provide you the best treatment alternative for your certain skin tag. The best means to remove skin tags as well as the treatment recommended depends. In many cases, the skin tag can be gotten rid of in one session nevertheless in rare situations depending upon the size of the skin lesion, 2 sessions maybe needed.

Fat Freezing Brighton & Hove.

Fat Freezing.

Individuals might desire to have skin tags got rid of since they are impacting their self-confidence. If they are in a cosmetically sensitive location on the face, as an example, they might create shame. As well https://totalbodycontouring.com.au/2019/10/31/what-is-fat-freezing-and-what-are-the-benefits/#:~:text=It%20offers%20a%20better%20alternative,fat%20on%20the%20treated%20area. are a problem due to the fact that they get in the way of clothes or jewellery.

Skin tags are tiny growths affixed to the skin as well as typically occur around the armpits, neck, breasts and even eyelids. Generally small, skin-coloured growths, they can vary in size and appearance, usually showing up knobbly or hanging from the skin.

British association Of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons.

Our highly certified Aesthetic experts use a Fibroblast electrode to get rid of the skin lesion. We use a localized numbing gel prior to the treatment and it generally takes a couple of mins to remove a solitary a skin tag. Skin tags, including those from near your eyes, can be removed or scorned with fluid nitrogen.

How do you tighten sagging jowls?

Exercises 1. Yawning and opening the mouth as far as possible, then closing it very slowly without letting the teeth touch. 2. Puckering the lips outwards. 3. Blowing the cheeks up as far as comfortable. 4. Chewing with the head tilted slightly up. 5. Grinning as widely as comfortable then slowly tilting the head up and down. More items•

If you wish to have an additional assessment with a Physician prior to the day of the procedure, expenses start from ₤ 95. To make a consultation you can call us or book a facility consultation online. If you do so, please review the area "How TVVS jobs", completely. In instance you are bothered with discomfort, please click on this link to see just how we give painfree surgical treatment. some individuals have lot of them, others have huge single one. For pain relief they can be injected with a regional anaesthetic such as Lidocaine.

youtube

Many people choose to have skin tags removed as they can really feel mindful of their look or experience pain if they are irritated by material or clothes. Our consultations begin at ₤ 89.00 and also our medical professional will certainly advise you of the expense of removal throughout your visit.

Cryolipolysisfat Freezingbristol

How long does facelift last?

A face-lift can give your face and neck a more youthful appearance. hifu eton -lift results are not permanent. With age, the facial skin may begin to droop again. In general, a face-lift can be expected to last 10 years.

The Future Of Cryotherapy. Cryopen ®

Benign skin lesions are typically surgically removed under regional anaesthetic or mild sedation. The kind of surgical procedure to remove your benign sore will depend on the type, size and place of your sore. The removal of benign skin lesions under local anaesthetic is executed in a variety of methods consisting of shaving off, removing, freezing off and also scooping away.

Skin tag treatments are available at both our Kensington and Wimbledon skincare centers. Skin tags are normally not cancerous although skin tag-like bumps that display multiple colours such as pink, brown, red or black need a biopsy. Additionally, if you have a piece of skin that looks like a skin tag that bleeds you should book a visit with your medical professional to guarantee it isn't skin cancer or any various other reasons. Great candidates for skin tag removal consist of people with highly noticeable tags or tags that are located in sensitive areas of the body. You may additionally be a candidate for skin tag removal if you have actually tried several home-remedies without success.

youtube

In the majority of mole elimination, skin tag removal as well as wart removal no stitches are needed as well as possibilities of any kind of scarring are minimal. These overview rates are a quote of prices as well as you will certainly obtain an official quotation price following your assessment with one of our doctors. This formal quote for your benign skin sore will certainly be valid for 60 days as well as includes endless aftercare. If your skin lesion has been removed under local anaesthetic you might not have full sensation in the treated location for an hour or 2 so you need to be careful not to bump it. The area might feel tender afterwards and also you can take non-prescription discomfort alleviation.

download And Install treatment.

The kind of procedure will depend on your skin sore kind, size and area. A benign skin sore may be removed if it is causing you considerable issues or is annoying, if there is any inquiry that maybe cancerous or for cosmetic factors. Any skin lesion which has a dubious look e.g. with ulcer, transforming coloring, bleeding, need to be biopsied. If we consider your skin tag to be at all questionable, however, you will certainly be suggested to see your GP if you do not intend to wage this small surgical procedure on an exclusive basis. When you schedule your visit, our care team will discuss your problems as well as whom it would certainly be best to see. You will certainly be able to book an assessment, as well as tell us if you long for an elimination during the exact same appointment. Cryotherapy is a secure, inexpensive and also reliable treatment which makes use of liquid nitrogen to freeze benign moles or skin sores so that they leave without the need of any kind of surgical procedure.

You will certainly see a scab kind at the therapy website and also some dry shriveled skin where the lesion lay the area will certainly soon recoup as well as it is typically totally healed within 7 days. It is thought skin tags grow where skin scrubs against skin or clothes. This would describe why they often tend to influence overweight people that have excess folds up of skin and also skin chafing.

Conversely, a topical anaesthetic such as "Emla Cream" can be used beforehand. We will certainly after that typically make use of electrosurgical equipment to shave your them and quit bleeding at the very same time. Likewise, take into consideration specialist surgery if you have larger or numerous Skin Tags. Specialist skin surgical procedure will certainly also send your Skin Tag to a lab to have them analysed providing you total peace of mind. If they resemble on the image above they are very likely skin tags, however if unsure it is always much safer to ask your General Practitioner for advice or book a consultation with us. Tiny skin tags less most likely to bleed dramatically might be eliminated by a shave excision. Complying with application of a neighborhood anaesthetic, often in the form of a lotion, an instrument called a Dermablade is made use of to cut the development off.

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foundcarcosa · 7 years

Text

ccvii.

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? >> Height isn’t important to me. I’m slightly taller than Can Calah, shorter than Eden, and substantially smaller in general than Vinternoll, and that’s the way I like it. (I am usually around the same height in headspace as I am in meatspace) 2: What’s your dream pet (real or not)? >> Gaudior the winged unicorn (A Swiftly Tilting Planet)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? >> I have quite a few favourite clothing styles. I’ll always be some sort of goth at heart, I will say.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? >> My favourite computer games were The Logical Journey of the Zoombinis and Alien Tales. I had like a weird kid-crush on Sal of deCentury, the alien game show host... (and who at all is surprised)

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: >> Oh, I don’t know.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? >> Warning: Black Carcosa is a caustic irradiated substance. Prolonged contact with Black Carcosa may cause severe mental deterioration, burns and lesions (or legions, even), and enhanced delusions of reference. Please consult your psychologist before engaging Black Carcosa. Keep away from children, pets, your electronics, and anything else whose innocence and integrity you hold dear.

7: What is your Greek personality type (Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic)? >> Primarily Phlegmatic, it seems.

8: Are you ticklish? >> Not usually.

9: Are you allergic to anything? >> No.

10: What’s your sexuality? >> There are a lot of things I’d gladly fuck, but not a whole lot of humans.

11: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? >> I greatly prefer tea.

12: Are you a cat or dog person? >> My preference leans towards dogs.

13: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? >> I identify most with elves, out of the three.

14: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? >> No.

15: How tall are you? >> 5′4″.

16: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? >> I’d like to not wish to change my name anymore, actually.

17: How much do you weigh? >> Somewhere between 130 and 135 lbs.

18: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? >> I am open to the experience.

19: Do you like space or the ocean more? >> I am more interested in what lies beyond this planet than what lies on it, although this planet is also extremely fascinating in all its complexity.

20: Are you religious? >> Intensely.

21: Pet peeves? >> Passivity.

22: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal (opposite of nocturnal)? >> I... am fine being mostly nocturnal.

23: Favorite constellation? >> Orion. Always Orion.

24: Favorite star? >> I haven’t chosen one.

25: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? >> Sure, especially custom ones.

26: Any phobias or fears? >> Meh.

27: Do you think global warming is real? >> I understand climate change as a process that occurs, yes.

28: Do you believe in reincarnation? >> I am open to the experience.

29: Favorite movie? >> The Fountain / Interstellar.

30: Do you get scared easily? >> No.

31: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? >> I used to take care of a couple of cats, for a short time. Fyodor and Hela. But almost all of the pets I’ve lived with have technically been under the custodianship of others.

32: What is a color that calms you? >> Soft, slightly desaturated bluish-grey.

33: Where would you like to travel and/or live? >> I would prefer to live in New Orleans and travel anywhere.

34: Where were you born? >> Elizabeth, New Jersey.

35: What is your eye color? >> Dark brown.

36: Introvert or extrovert? >> Mostly introvert. Entirely disinterested in “introvert culture”.

37: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? >> I am open to the experience (and especially attracted to astrology, as I’m sure my reblogs suggest).

38: Hugs or kisses? >> Meh.

39: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? >> I’m fine not doing that.

40: Who is someone you love deeply? >> Can Calah.

41: Any piercings you want? >> Sure, if the opportunity presented itself. My focus is mostly on tattoos.

42: Do you like tattoos and piercings? >> Quite.

43: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? >> I smoke occasionally.

44: Talk about your crush, if you have one! >> My crushes at this point are pretty much celebrities and fictional characters, which is to say I have way too many of them to answer this question.

45: What is a sound you really hate? >> Mouth sounds.

46: A sound you really love? >> The sounds people make when they’re aroused but trying to keep it together.

47: Can you do a backflip? >> Not even a little bit. I saw a video where someone taught himself how to do backflips in a single afternoon. I was duly impressed.

48: Can you do the splits? >> No.

49: Favorite actor and/or actress? >> Idris Elba. Actress... maybe Rutina Wesley.

50: Favorite book? >> Ha!

51: How are you feeling right now? >> Neutral.

52: What color would you like your hair to be right now? >> I really don’t care.

53: When did you feel happiest? >> ---

54: Something that calms you down? >> Time.

55: Have any mental disorders? >> I’m more than pretty sure I do, but I haven’t been properly diagnosed a day in my life.

56: What does your URL mean? >> It was a play on “Lost Carcosa”. It eventually came to just represent... me. Now it’s a brand of sorts, so I am loath to use any other username (save for blackThirteen, which I sometimes use on websites where it’s not already taken by someone else; blackThirteen + foundCarcosa = blackCarcosa, which is what I really should be using, but it’s a little late now).

57: What three words describe you the most? >> Just three? Ha!

58: Do you believe in evolution? >> I have been convinced of evolution’s veracity.

59: What makes you unfollow a blog? >> Over a month of inactivity or a change to content that doesn’t interest me are the two main reasons I unfollow. Sometimes I unfollow for things like political platforming or too much unsourced content or having too much of the same kind of content on my dashboard or... any number of reasons, really. Sometimes a person’s opinion (or the way they present their opinion) just pisses me off and I’m not invested enough in the blog to keep them around anyway.

60: What makes you follow a blog? >> Content that I enjoy, usually. It’s pretty simple. Sometimes I have compulsive following sprees and then I have to prune later, which is a thing about myself that I’ve just gotten used to.

61: Favorite kind of person: >> Right.

62: Favorite animal(s): >> Snakes, spiders, otters, capybaras, and so on.

63: Name three of your favorite blogs. >> transistorxiii, lilithsconcubine (bet money she’ll have changed her url again by the time I post this, lmao), coldalbion.

64: Favorite emoticon: >> The cry-laughing one. I abuse the shit out of that face.

65: Favorite meme: >> Right now, probably BONELESS or that one image with the guy and the two girls that is so goddamn versatile that I haven’t gotten sick of it yet despite the fact that it’s everywhere.

66: What is your MBTI personality type? >> My last result was INTJ. I don’t care much for MBTI anymore.

67: What is your star sign? >> Gemini sun, Gemini moon, Scorpio rising, etc etc.

68: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? >> ---

69: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? >> Ghast brand rave pants and a Doctor Strange shirt, it seems.

70: Post a selfie or two? >> http://foundcarcosa.tumblr.com/tagged/this-malleable-shell

71: Do you have platform shoes? >> I don’t.

72: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? >> I used to be extremely competent at Guitar Hero / Rock Band because back when those games were popular, Best Buy and Circuit City would have stations set up in their stores where you could play them; and because I was homeless and tumblr wasn’t invented to become my biggest timesink yet, I would just stay in the stores playing guitar games all day. So I got good at it. As one does.

73: Can you do a front flip? >> No.

74: Do you like birds? >> Sure.

75: Do you like to swim? >> I can’t swim, so I don’t know if I’d like it or not. I mean, probably.

76: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? >> I can’t do either.

77: Something you wish didn’t exist: >> Meh.

78: Some thing you wish did exist: >> Everything I can conceive does exist... in some form, on some plane.

79: Piercings you have? >> Earlobes and septum.

80: Something you really enjoy doing: >> Playing video games.

81: Favorite person to talk to: >> Can Calah.

82: What was your first impression of Tumblr? >> I was extremely confused by tumblr when I first tried it out. So I abandoned it for a little over a year, and then I had to make a new account when I came back because I’d forgotten the login for the old one.

83: How many followers do you have? >> Here, 629.

84: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? >> I can’t run a mile, period.

85: Do your socks always match? >> No. I don’t bother matching my socks. Mismatched ones are more fun, anyway.

86: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? >> No.

87: What are your birthstones? >> Emerald, I think? I forget the other.

88: If you were an animal, which one would you be? >> *waggles Mordred’s spidery legs*

89: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? >> Probably a black calla lily.

90: A store you hate? >> Abercrombie and Fitch. Their store is fragranced or something. Like they put cologne swatches in the air ducts. IDFK. It’s aggravating. Also, I hate that kind of fashion.

91: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? >> I usually drink zero.

92: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? >> Flying is more interesting than being Sookie Stackhouse.

93: Do you like to wear camo? >> No.

94: Winter or summer? >> I have a preference for winter.

95: How long can you hold your breath for? >> I don’t know.

96: Least favorite person? >> ---

97: Someone you look up to: >> *insert obvious joke here*

98: A store you love? >> Trash & Vaudeville. I wonder if it’s closed / moved yet.

99: Favorite type of shoes >> I prefer combat boot type shoes.

100: Where do you live? >> *grumbles*

101: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? >> Pescatarian. I just don’t care for meat much. I’ll eat a chicken sandwich sometimes, but otherwise I’ll stick to seafood.

102: What is your favorite mineral or gem? >> Smoky quartz is nice. Bismuth is cool as shit. Geodes are where it’s at, though.

103: Do you drink milk? >> No.

104: Do you like bugs? >> Most of them, yeah.

105: Do you like spiders? >> My children. <3

106: Something you get paranoid about? >> My physical health, sometimes.

107: Can you draw?: >> I can. I can’t draw well, though.

108: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? >> I don’t know. Nosy questions don’t bother me, though.

109: A question you hate being asked? >> Anything regarding my gender. Like, who cares. Stop boring me.

110: Ever been bitten by a spider? >> Not that I’m aware of.

111: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? >> Oh, yes.

112: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? >> It depends on how I feel that day in general. Either is good, but sometimes one is definitely better than the other.

113: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: >> ---

114: Favorite cloud type: >> Definitely cumulonimbus.

115: What color do you wish the sky was? >> My eyes interpret the sky as a variety of colours depending on time of day, weather conditions, and what pair of sunglasses I have on, and you know what, that’s good enough for me.

116: Do you have freckles? >> No.

117: Favorite thing about a person: >> ---

118: Fruits or vegetables? >> All of the above.

119: Something you want to do right now: >> I’m fine with what I’m doing.

120: Is the ocean or sky prettier? >> How could I possibly choose one over the other...? I like it best when I can observe both at the same time, actually. Maximum loveliness.

121: Sweet or sour foods? >> Savoury, spicy, sour. Sweetness only as a balancing agent.

122: Bright or dim lights? >> Dim and diffuse, always.

123: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? >> I am open to all experiences.

124: Something you hate about Tumblr: >> The poor functionality bits. Coding issues, inefficiency in design, stuff I can’t do anything about because I don’t work there.

125: Something you love about Tumblr: >> Everything else, more or less. I wouldn’t spend so much time here if I wasn’t genuinely enjoying myself.

126: What do you think about the least? >> How would I know?

127: What would you want written on your tombstone? >> I am not interested in a tombstone at all.

128: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? >> Someone sexy who had a kink for being punched in the face.

129: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? >> The fact that I am so easily bored and so interested in experience leads to interesting experiences and a tendency to be open to new things... but sometimes it just leads to recklessness and irritability.

130: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? >> Yeah, most of the time.

131: Computer or TV? >> Computer, which is often used as a television anyway.

132: Do you like roller coasters? >> I do.

133: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? >> No.

134: Are your ears free or attached? >> Unattached.

135: Do you believe in karma? >> The original concept of karma is more understandable to me than the modern colloquial definition.

136: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? >> I’m a solid 8 to myself, but you know.

137: What nicknames do you have/have had? >> Rev, Eddie, and Dio are my most used nicknames as of now.

138: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? >> I have always had Companions.

139: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? >> Yes.

140: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? >> It doesn’t matter to me either way.

141: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? >> I love to give gifts, but I also love to receive them. No reason I should have to choose. What I hate is compulsory gift exchanging. Miss me completely with that bull mess.

142: What makes you angry?: >> Eh.

143: How many languages do you speak fluently? >> One.

144: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? >> Meh.

145: Are you androgynous? >> More or less.

146: Favorite physical thing about yourself: >> I am pretty fond of my facial shape and features, and the kinda “greyboy” androgynous shape of my body. Also, this melanin is poppin. I would gladly take a little more, even.

147: Favorite thing about your personality: >> What’s a personality?

148: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. >> Meh?

149: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? >> Why would I do that?

150: Do you like BuzzFeed? >> It hasn’t given me reason to dislike it.

151: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? >> I met Sparrow on tumblr.

152: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? >> No.

153: Do you like to play with others’ hair? >> That used to be a big stim of mine, but Tommy, my first boyfriend, broke me out of that pretty badly and I never got back into it. It’s like a mental block now. Aggravating.

154: What embarrasses you? >> Meh?

155: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: >> ---

156: Biggest lie you have ever told: >> I have no idea.

157: How many people are you following? >> 1,047 right now.

158: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? >> This will be #20,540.

159: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? >> 6.

160: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? >> 87,104.

161: Last time you cried and why: >> The last memory of crying that I have is when I was listening to these videos of Pearl Jam songs with just the vocals and guitar solos isolated. I lost my shit in the middle of “Black” and the only reason I remember is because I thought to myself, fucking hell, some tumblr survey is going to ask me about the last time I cried and I’m gonna have to tell the congregation that I cried because I love Eddie Vedder too much and I started laughing like an idiot.

162: Do you have long or short hair? >> Short. Very short.

163: Longest your hair has ever been: >> To my shoulders, I think, as a child. Not including weaves, braids, and so on.

164: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? >> I love religion because... oh, I don’t know. It’s one of those things I don’t question too much because I’m not sure it has an easy answer. It just deeply resonates with me, is all. Yes, the whole concept of religion. Not any specific one, or anything. Just the root of it all. I don’t like what people do with religion a lot of the time, not at all... but whatever. People gonna people.

165: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? >> Well, sure. It’s fucking fascinating. Even if the theories are only theories, they’re still interesting to me. I’ll probably never know, but that won’t ever stop me from being curious.

166: Do you like to wear makeup? >> Yes.

167: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? >> No.

168: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? >> Sure.

#surveysofsamedi #caveat emptor; this has almost 200 questions

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thfrustration · 7 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 37

TITLE OF STORY: Your Light in the Mist CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: 37 AUTHOR: http://yourlightinthemist.tumblr.com/ WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom GENRE: Drama, Humor, Romance FIC SUMMARY: Maude Gallagher is a social media consultant to PR firms, speaking at a conference in Kaua’i, Hawaii. Tom Hiddleston is on Kaua’i as well, preparing to shoot Skull Island. After their paths cross, they can’t deny that there’s a connection between them that neither has felt before. Will they be able to reconcile their issues from the past and live the life they’ve longed for, or will everything they’ve worked to build crumble under the weight of it all? RATING: Explicit WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: none FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Thanks for reading!

Thanksgiving Day was spent at Kualoa Beach Park, both of us enjoying a feast of cold turkey sandwiches, cranberries, potato chips and chocolate cannolis while sitting on oversize towels with our toes buried in the warm, glittering sand. Sunday I was granted the immense pleasure of relaxing in a beach chair as Tom learned to surf at Kualoa Point. His instructor, Mark, had short blonde hair and a ridiculously dark tan, a tribal themed tattoo around one ankle, and the words Hau‘oli (happy) and Nalu (wave or surf) around the other. Tom learned rather quickly, which wasn’t unexpected considering he was good at every other fucking thing he tried, and the sight of him in a wetsuit provided me with yet another kink I’d never known I had. He and Mark pestered me to give the board a try, even if all I did was paddle out on my stomach, but I refused on grounds that I’d seen Jaws too many times, which made Tom’s eyes widen. After the lesson was over he revealed that he’d always been terrified of sharks for the same reason, but managed to keep the fear at bay unless he was the person furthest out from shore. A joint viewing of the film followed as soon as we got back to the cottage, complete with lots of clutching, squeaking, screeching, eye covering and thigh slapping.

When Tuesday arrived, it was back to business as usual…Tom filming, me working. Time seemed to have sped up inside the chaos of our lives, and suddenly December 18th arrived, bringing with it the Skull Island wrap party. Though I’d been invited, I insisted that Tom attend on his own, and he agreed with a single contingency…that I’d be present at the wrap party after shooting in Australia was completed. He had no clue, but I’d already been in touch with Brie and Jordan about that particular matter. The finish date would be close to Tom’s birthday, and the general opinion was that a surprise party was in order.

On the morning of the 19th we checked out of the cottage and relocated to Kauai, where we were spending the weekend at ‘our’ Marriott in order to meet with Melanie Hale. I’d spoken with her on the phone several times and had booked the Paddle Room and a beachfront spot for the ceremony, but hadn’t gone over any other details. As soon as we sat down and started a guest list, Tom and I realized that there was no way in hell that everyone could fit inside Talk Story, and we didn’t want anyone to feel left out, so we begrudgingly decided to have it all in one place that offered ample room. Or at least that’s what we were going to TELL everyone. The truth was that I’d asked Roger Marshal for permission to use the store after hours and tracked down a judge willing to come out at the ungodly hour of half-past midnight on the 29th and marry us at there…just the two of us, in private, exchanging our own vows in the exact spot where we’d met. Afterward, we’d head back to the hotel and do it all over again in a few hours, the same judge presiding over our second ceremony and pretending it was the first. He volunteered that it perhaps wasn’t the most becoming conduct for someone in his position, but he was a romantic at heart and said that ‘love should always take precedence over all else’.

Our room was on the main floor this go-round, and as soon as we set our bags down inside we turned back around and walked down the hall to the check-in desk hand in hand, stopping off to the side in order to be out of the way of other guests as we waited for Melanie. I had no idea what she looked like, but I had a feeling she’d recognize Tom with no problem whatsoever. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen…Trudy. It was noon in Hawaii, which meant it was ten PM in London, and on a Saturday, which told me it had to be in regard to something important.

“Hey, Trudy. What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Maude, I’m so sorry, I know you’re busy and that I’m supposed to be handling all this but Mark is being a huge wanker and is now telling me there is no way they’ll have the rest of the servers up and running by January 1st and I…”

I could hear the frustration in her voice, so extreme she was near tears. “Don’t give it another thought. You keep running tests on the server they have up, and I’ll call that asshole and set him straight. Okay?”

A sigh of relief. “Thank you. You’re the best. I’m sorry, again.”

“Totally cool. I’ll text or call you later. Go have some truffles. I hide them…”

She snorted. “I know where you hide them. How do you think I’ve been able to get all this done?”

We both laughed, I hit end call and searched for SecureServe in my contacts. Tom kissed my forehead as I hit call and then speaker, walking further towards the wall away from the desk. Mark picked up on the first ring.

“Maude, I know what you’re going to say but I…”

My ‘this bitch will cut you’ voice was in full effect. “Mark. Did you tell Trudy that you wouldn’t be able to have all the servers up in time for our launch?”

“Yes, because it’s just not possible…”

“And why is it not possible?”

“She didn’t get all the specs to me in time, I didn’t have the proper security settings and they’re SO strict and I need time to…”

“So you’re saying Trudy didn’t send you the specifications you needed?”

“Yes, exactly, it’s entirely her fault for not making me aware…”

“Mark, I want you to pause for a moment and really, really think about what you just said. Okay? Here.” I waited for five seconds. “Do you want to change anything? Last chance.”

“Change what? This is all on her…”

I looked back at Tom, rolled my eyes, then turned around and moved again, nearing ever closer to the wall. “Mark. All of the specifications for the project, including all of the security settings, down to the minutest detail, as in TO THE HUNDREDTH OF A DECIMAL POINT WHERE APPLICABLE DETAIL, were part of the contract you signed at the beginning of October. You initialed every pertinent paragraph. You signed the bottom of every page. Remember that? The contract? The one you signed? The one that very clearly states that if you breach it in any way or are unable to complete the project by January 1st 2016 you are liable for the funds you’ve been advanced as well as any damages incurred by my company as a result? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT CONTRACT? And, now you’re in a time crunch and you’re going to whine and point the blame at the person who’s done a good portion of your own work for you?”

There was nothing but silence on the line.

“And do you ALSO remember the clause that you initialed stating that if, at any time during the final 30 days of the contract, we weren’t satisfied with your performance or had a firm indication that you wouldn’t be able to complete the project by the deadline that we were free to terminate your ass and have the advance refunded to us? Probably not, right? Well, you’ll have lots of time to look it all over now. Because you’ve provided that firm indication and now you. Are. FIRED. I’ll be expecting payment in full within seven business days. If it’s not received, you’ll be hearing from my attorney.”

I hit end call, wondering if steam was pouring out of my ears, took a deep breath and turned around…to see Tom standing four feet away with a lovely woman, blonde hair braided and twisted around her head, clad in a white floral-print tank dress, standing next to him. She was short, only five four or so, and her blue eyes were wide as she stared at me, speechless. Tom was grinning widely as he cleared his throat.

“Melanie, allow me to introduce you to Maude…”

I strode over, hand extended. “Well, I’m guessing you heard a good bit of that…please don’t be frightened. I promise not to go all Bridezilla on you. Really. I’m a relatively nice person. Most of the time. Probably. Anyway, lovely to finally meet you!”

She took my hand, shaking lightly, then letting go. “It’s lovely to meet you as well.” He voice was high, and slightly nasal. “If you need to reschedule…”

I shook my head. “Thank you, but it’s fine. That’s a multiple alarm fire…like six, maybe? I’d like to get the single-alarm one put out first, if that’s okay with you.”

Tom snorted. “Did you just compare planning our wedding to fighting a fire?”

Turning toward him, I patted his bicep, which was bulging against his white T-shirt. “Yes. Yes I did. Which probably made it totally obvious that I’m a nervous wreck about the whole shebang. Damn.”

He grabbed me, pulled me to his chest and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “You’re perfect and amazing, so by default the wedding will also be perfect and amazing…”

I wriggled away quickly, blushing in spite of my attempt at resistance. “Dude. Stop. Seriously.”

He roared, his laugh making people turn and gawk. When I turned my gaze to Melanie she was smirking, and decidedly more relaxed, lifting her hand and extending it toward the hallway on our right. “Shall we begin?”

Sighing, I shook my head again, feeling Tom’s fingers entwine with mine. “Sure thing. Pass me the extinguisher and let’s roll.”

****************************************

The Paddle Room was 3,150 square feet of open space, walls a muted deep yellow with native wood beams crossing the gable-style ceiling. Floor-to-ceiling windows covered the pool side of the space, with an exit door a third of the way in from the main entrance, allowing guests to move freely between both areas. The outdoor pool and patio added an extra 2,600 square feet, which we hoped would ease any congestion during the party hard and wander around phase of the reception. The Paddle Room was only designed to hold 230 guests, and we were pretty sure we might top that. Not because of my people, of course. Those I could count on the fingers of both hands. But Tom…that was an entirely different story, and by this point I’d either spoken to or corresponded with a good bunch of them so they were quickly becoming my people too, which was strangely, dare I say, delightful. Once they were all in a room together I wasn’t sure that feeling would remain, but there wouldlikely bea bathroom for me to hide in somewhere nearby until someone wondered where the bride had gotten off to and hunted me down.

Two tables had been set up in the center of the room, one round eight-top and one rectangular ten-top. The rectangular was a simple but sturdy-looking folding table, left bare, and the round was likely the same, but had been covered with a dark green base cloth, white topper, with dark green dishware atop silver chargers, dark green napkins, silver flatware, and silver vases with white roses in the center and a dark green ribbon tied in a bow around the center of the container. Melanie motioned to the rectangular table, upon which rested a laptop and several large binders.

“Is it all right if we sit and talk here? If you’d rather go somewhere more private, that’s fine…”

I turned to Tom to discuss his preference, only to find him pulling out chairs for Melanie and me. I sat, chuckling as he pushed me in.

“Looks like we’re good here, Melanie.”

She sat in the chair he’d pulled out across the table from me, and Tom came back around and folded himself into the seat on my right. I rooted in my bag for my tablet, where I’d stored all my notes to date.

“Okay, Maude and Tom. First things first…does this space meet your needs? Does it feel like the place you’d like to celebrate your union?”

Tom snorted, and I kicked him under the table. “If you think it’s large enough, I’m good.” I patted Tom’s hand. “You?”

He nodded. “I’m fine with celebrating our union anywhere, actually.”

It took all I had to not roll my eyes, hoping Melanie wouldn’t pick up on our inside joke. She was smirking again, and cleared her throat before proceeding.

“I believe it will accommodate your guests comfortably, as well as allow plenty of room for a dance floor and so forth. If you’re planning on a live band, we may want to use the rectangular tables, though.”

Tom held up a hand. “We’ve decided to opt for a DJ, and possibly karaoke, if that’s permissible.”

Melanie made a note on her pink legal pad. “Excellent, that’s certainly a space saver. Will you be bringing someone in?”

I shook my head. “Actually, we were hoping Sammy would be available that night.”

Her eyes grew wide again, mouth falling open, then closing quickly. “Wow. Really? That’s…that’s…wow. I’m not even going to check with him…he’s going to be available for this. Thank you. He’ll be over the moon, and karaoke is definitely allowed. Wow. Okay. Where were we? Right. So, when you booked this space, I took the liberty of reserving 100 guest rooms from the 26th through the 30th, just in case you found it easier for most to stay on the premises. I’ve also had our reservation specialists inform everyone booking for your week that the pool will be closed on the 29th, in order to provide you with maximum privacy. Speaking of which, we do have hotel security available but your own and that of your guests are welcome. We can coordinate a plan if need be, and I assure you we’ll do our best to keep the paparazzi off site. They may camp out down the beach, and we can’t control helicopters…”

Tom interrupted her. “No worries, Melanie, but thank you. I honestly can’t think of any guests that will arrive with anything more than a nanny or two in tow. And as far as the media is concerned, we don’t mind at all as long as they keep their distance. Maude’s taught me well…they’ll get their shots no matter what, and making it more difficult for them only makes things less pleasant for all involved. We’d rather just focus on enjoying the day, our guests, and each other.”

I grinned. “I almost have nothing else to add.” Tom laughed. “We’re not advertising the date publicly, but we’re aware that it will probably leak, and that’s just the deal. If we have any fans trying to crash, we’ll just give them some cake or something. But I don’t think it will be an issue, honestly. Tom’s fans are, so far as I’ve noticed, very respectful. And, we’re going to let everyone know that we’ll be posting pics and videos all over social media, so they’ll feel like they won’t be missing out. Except on the cake.”

Melanie laughed. “So you’ve chosen a cake already?”

My jaw dropped this time. “Oh god, no. I haven’t. Nope. I thought I was ahead of the game because we picked out a color scheme. Sorry…I’m like, totally new to this. The only reason I knew I needed a color scheme is because I’m maid of honor for our friends’ wedding at the end of the month and, wow, you want to see a Bridezilla you should meet Simon…”

She pushed an open binder across the table to us. “I assumed you’d already hired a wedding planner and just wanted to use the venue here…and you’re welcome to do that, but we do offer full service packages. Soup to nuts, everything included. Food, flowers, marriage license, all of it, if you’re interested.”

My head spun to the right, and Tom was staring back at me. I raised a brow, and he smiled. I turned back to Melanie. “Oh my GOD am I interested. Yes, please. Where do we sign?”

We went over all the paperwork, and I tried to not flinch at the initial total, which was more than I’d ever thought I’d spend on a single day, and all the custom stuff wasn’t even factored in yet. Two hundred thousand dollars, which, though it included all the guest rooms and meals for the duration of their stay, the planning of the event itself, a bachelor and bachelorette party if we wanted them and the rehearsal dinner, seemed over the top expensive to extremely frugal me.

I bit my lip and looked up at Melanie. “Would you mind giving us a few minutes to look this over, please?”

She nodded and rose from her chair. “Of course not. Take your time. Just text me when you’re ready. I’m going to go admire the pool.” She smiled, and headed outdoors.

Tom twisted himself around in his seat, slipping his arm around me, concern in his eyes. “Tell me what’s on your mind, love.”

I remained silent for a few moments, blinking, then rested my hand on his knee. “Dude, this is, like, a FORTUNE. And we haven’t done food or flowers or cake or dresses or décor yet…is this, like, typical? Are you okay with us spending this much money? We never talked about it and I just…”

His left brow rose, and I could tell he was carefully considering his choice of words. “Well, neither of us has done this sort of thing before, so I’m not sure if it’s typical…but then again, we’re a bit outside the norm as far as financial stability is concerned so perhaps typical isn’t applicable. That being said, I don’t care if it’s a thousand dollars or a million dollars, Maude. All that matters to me is taking our vows and exchanging rings and having you as my wife. But I do feel like it’s an occasion to celebrate heartily, because…”

He’d begun to tear up, brushing a knuckle under one eye in an attempt to contain the moisture. I stood and embraced him, holding his head to my chest. “Thank you. Nothing like a little perspective to clarify everything. I agree, we should make it exactly what we want. Buuuttt…is it cool if I call Simon and see if he’ll dish on how much they’re spending? Not necessary, but man, I am SO cheap…”

A laugh rumbled forth from him, tickling my ribs. “There are simply things that demand splurging. Even penny-pincher me knows that.”

“Yes, but you splurge on things like five-hundred dollar shoes and then wear them over and over until they fall apart, so that kind of makes sense…”

He released me and stood. “True. But, please do call Simon because curiosity has gotten the better of me…”

I snorted as I pulled my phone from my pocket, located Simon in my contacts and pressed call. “Shocking. And shit, it’s late there…but it’s Saturday, so they should still be up.”

He answered on the second ring. “You had best not be calling me to announce a delay in your return, Maude Gallagher, because I AM LOSING MY SHIT LIKE NEVER BEFORE AND I NEED YOU HERE.”

“Jesus. Have some wine or something. Where’s Luke? Hiding in the office again?”

“I HAD WINE. LUKE HAD WINE. WE HAD WINE. IT IS NOT HELPING. Christ. Sorry. This wedding insanity…you guys should totally elope. Really. Elope. SAVE YOURSELVES.”

“Hey, thanks for the warning, but we’re meeting with the wedding planner, like, right now, so day late, dollar short and all that. Which is why I’m calling, actually…she just gave us a price and I have serious sticker shock and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind divulging how much you’ve spent. For comparative purposes.”

“Maude, you can’t really compare the two because you’re having a big fancy destination wedding and we’re just getting hitched here in London and aren’t paying for guest lodging, but so far, in US dollars, two hundred.”

“As in…two hundred thousand?”

He noted the incredulity in my voice. “Yes. Reserving the space alone for New Year’s Eve was eighty thousand. So, I think we’ve done pretty well…how much were you quoted? A million? Two?”

“Um, no. Base price is same as yours.”

“What?! Are you fucking kidding me? That’s just for the space, right? Not with rooms?”

“No. That includes rooms. For four nights and three days.”

“Well, now I feel like I got royally fucked. Thanks. Some maid of honor YOU are.” He laughed. “Actually, I think we got a good deal. It’s New Year’s Eve so everything is pricey, and I know I overspent on a bunch of things, but this is an end all be all we’re only doing this one time event, so…but you, YOU are getting the BEST deal. Really. I’m going to go have more wine now, though. LOTS. OF. WINE. See you on Monday?”

“Yep. We should be home by around 9 PM, London time.”

“Good. I miss you, you bitch. The office is tres boring without you, and I’m finding the lack of snark to be DEEPLY disturbing. Good luck with everything. Love you. Tell the beautiful asshat I love him too.”

“Will do. Love you too. Give Luke a smooch from both of us.”

“I’m planning on giving him MANY smooches…”

“Okay then. Bye!”

I hit end call, and Tom held up his left hand, palm out. “No need to repeat any of it…I heard everything even with him OFF speaker.”

“Loud, drunken Simon is loud. And drunk.”

He embraced me again, meeting my gaze. “Feel better?”

“Yeah. One more thing before I text Melanie, though…are you okay with using a wedding planner? Like, you’re not disappointed that I’m not handling everything?”

“You’re joking.”

“Uh, no. You’re filming until spring and have no time for this, so it should be my responsibility and I’m pawning it off on someone else and it’s…”

“Maude. Shush. You’re working just as hard as I am, if not harder. And you just lost your server…thing…so now you have that to deal with and I’m THRILLED you want to use a wedding planner. I wanted to suggest giving it a try but…”

“But your fiancée is a total control freak and you didn’t want to piss her off?”

He chortled. “More like offend, but yes. That.”

“Probably a good call, my man. I’ll text Melanie. And, thank you. To be honest, I feel like this huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders and maybe I’ll actually enjoy the process now, though part of me is still all YOU FAIL AT LIFE, MAUDE…”

He kissed me, tongue caressing my lips before sliding inside my mouth, the retreating quickly, a huge grin spread across his gorgeous face. “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

My head moved slowly from side to side. “Nope. Nothing. Texting now.”

Melanie rejoined us almost immediately, and though she did a rather excellent job of trying to mask her feelings, I could see the change in her demeanor and realized she thought we’d changed our minds. I sat back down at the table without saying a word, Tom followed, and we began signing all the required documents before she reached her own chair. When I finished the last one, I looked up at her, smiling.

“Okay, Melanie. The Gallagher-Hiddleston wedding is officially your fire now.”

She laughed loudly, then sobered. “Before we discuss your color scheme, which I’d like to do now if you have the time, I just want you both to know that I will do everything humanly possible to make your day perfect for you. My goal is to ensure that the process is as stress free as possible for you both, so you can focus on feeling nothing but happiness and joy. I’m so blessed and honored that you’ve entrusted me with your wedding celebration…it means…it’s just amazing. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

I hadn’t thought until that moment about the fact that one, she was a longtime fan of Tom and his work and two, a large ‘celebrity’ wedding could have enough of an impact on her career that she could break off from the hotel and work on her own, if she wished. Life is so strange that way…you’re just moving along and BOOM. The boom can be bad, or it can be good…I hoped this one would turn out to be nothing but good for her. And then I realized that I could do more than hope.

“Melanie, I don’t know if the hotel allows you to promote yourself, and even if you have to include them, but I’d like to make sure you’re given full credit for the work you do for us. Publicly.”

Tom reached under the table to grab hold of my hand, and Melanie blushed a very deep red, clearly flustered as she began to speak again.

“That…that would be…thank you. I can’t tell you how much I’d appreciate that, or how much it means to me. This isn’t the first celebrity wedding for me, but…it’s incredibly special, because, Tom…your work has brought me so much joy and I’ve met some great people online who feel the same way, and a few have become very close friends. Even if I can give a little of that back…well…”

He stood, walked around the table, and bent to hug her, the rose to his full height again after letting her go. “Melanie, thank you for your kind words. One of the best things about doing what I do is hearing that it brings people joy. That’s just…everything. An actor is nothing without an audience for the work. Again, thank you.”

He came back around to sit next to me again, and I was afraid the poor woman was going to pass out. The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile, she took a deep breath, placed her hands palm down on the table, then continued.

“Well, I’m not even going to pretend I’ve recovered from that, so instead I’m going to look at this as if it’s my chance to illustrate my ability to retain my professionalism under any circumstances. So, Maude…your color scheme, then?”

We all laughed, and I pulled it up on my tablet. “We’re going with white, a light neon-esque green, medium lilac-y purple and silver.”

She examined it, nodding, then looked up at me. “The bridesmaids…which color have you chosen for their dresses?”

Pondering, I pictured Simon in a suit of everything but white. “The purple.”

“Okay, good. Men in black tuxes?”

“Yes. With purple vests and silver pocket squares. And orchid boutonnieres. The flower, not the color. Well, they ARE sort of that color, the purple orchids I found online…”

She chuckled. “See, you’ve got much more than a color scheme done.”

My eyes rose skyward briefly. “You’re right. I do. I can see what I want the room to look like, actually.”

Pen in hand poised over the pink pad, she grinned. “Give me the details and I’ll make it happen.”

I turned to Tom, who was grinning like the Cheshire cat. “If you don’t like something or want something different, feel free to chime in.” He kissed my cheek and I continued. “Round tables are a must. Silver fabric as the base cloth…and a subtle, satiny silver, not lame. On top of that white cloth, with a purple square in the center of that.” The round table next to us had three different chairs, one oval backed and padded with a metal frame, a bamboo-ish styled rectangular style, and another which I assumed to be the oval type but slip-covered. “Purple slip-covers tied back with green fabric. No bows, please. The bridal party table will have to be different, though, so let’s do a white base cloth, silver on top, green center square, and green slip-covers tied back with purple.”

“Maude, that’s…I love it. The bridal party table…do you want that round or rectangular, with all of you on one side?”

Tom cleared his throat. “I’d like to be able to chat easily, though I can’t imagine we’ll be sitting down for very long.” He rested a hand on my shoulder and I swiveled to meet his gaze. “Is round all right with you?”

I nodded. “That was my first choice. So, yep.”

Melanie scribbled for a few more seconds. “Excellent. How about centerpieces?”

Shrugging, I raised both hands, palms up. “I don’t really want it to be flowergeddon, and I want at least one thing other than the location to be kind of tropical so I was thinking…orchids there too? I saw some really cool LED light containers online with orchids inside the cylinder, and I love them, but it feels like one alone on a table wouldn’t cut it. I haven’t been able to come up with anything else…”

Tom’s hand slammed down on the table, scaring the living shit out of both me and Melanie. He snickered. “Sorry about that. I’ve got an idea…since we met at Talk Story how about books as a component of the centerpiece? Maybe a circle of them around the LED cylinders, and that would have to be elevated a bit, and we’d put them spine out…”

I slapped his bicep. “Oh my god, that is fucking GENIUS right there. I love it. High five, babe.” As he granted my request, I realized I’d said fuck. “Whoops, sorry, Melanie.”

“No worries. Feel free to be yourselves around me, both of you. I’ve been known to swear like a sailor myself…”

I snorted. “You and I are going to get along just fine then. Just. Fine.”

We all laughed, then decided upon silver flatware, silver chargers, white plates with a silver art-deco pattern along the edges, and napkins to match the seat covers. Glassware would be simple with no embellishments. Melanie finished her notes, then rose from her chair. We followed suit.

“Well, that was some excellent progress. And Maude, going forward, all you need to do is phone or email with ideas, options or changes and I’ll take care of everything. Whatever you need, I’ll handle it and make sure it’s done on time and done right. So relax, focus on the fun parts, and let me do the work. The fire, as far as you’re concerned, is OUT. All right?”

Though not typically in the habit of hugging strangers, I felt compelled to give her a quick squeeze. “Thank you, Melanie. I appreciate you taking this on. So much.”

“You’re welcome. One more thing before you go, though…I have you booked for beachfront, but did you want the ceremony right on the sand or just above the beach overlooking it and the ocean? Let’s take a little walk so you have a better perspective.”

We descended to the water’s edge, stood in the sand, and Tom and I stared at each other, the ocean roaring in our ears. If our actual ceremony wasn’t being held at Talk Story, we both would have wanted it to be right there, barefoot, our toes in the sand. But since it WAS taking place elsewhere and this one would be just for show, we figured it would be more comfortable for all our guests if we set up shop on the lawn overlooking the water. The grass was perfectly green, the view spectacular, and there would be no worries about sand in shoes or…wherever. An arbor would be set up cliff side, draped in our colors with orchids on each post, and the guests would sit in white wooden folding chairs, facing the arbor and ocean. Melanie had shown us file footage, and I could picture it all, me walking to Tom past the crowd, and I panicked briefly, but was then overwhelmed by happiness when I paused to consider that HOLY FUCK WE WERE GETTING MARRIED. I grabbed Tom by the T-shirt.

“I’m so busy that I forget that this is happening, you know? Like, dude, we’re getting MARRIED.”

He laughed gleefully, pulled me to his chest, then picked me up and spun me around. “I KNOW! I’m uncontrollably EXCITED!”

“Really? You? Excited? Get me a blanket because I think I’m in SHOCK.”

As he set me down I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Melanie had her phone up and pointed towards us.

“Sorry, you two…didn’t mean to intrude…I was getting ready to ask if I could snap a quick picture for the files and then…THAT happened. I’ll email it to you.”

Tom ran over to hug her. “Thank you, for all of this. Again. And for capturing that moment.” He released her, then waved me over, standing in the middle, slipping his left arm around my waist and snatching Melanie’s phone with his right hand, extending that arm way, way out. The man was built for taking selfies. “Here, let’s all be in it.”

Five shots later we said our goodbyes, then headed back to our room to change. A few more hours on the beach, dinner, sleep, and then it was off to the airport to begin our journey, Hawaii to LA then on to London. Home.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston rpf #thfrustration #your light in the mist #maevecurrywrites #angst #humor #romance #actor tom #maude #public relations #social media #skull island #hawaii #multis #mature #submission

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dunnebells · 5 years

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My Microblading Experience (the step-by-step insights you need to know) || Dunnebells

The moment you have all been waiting for. Today I’m going to take a break from the health and wellness posts to tell you a little about my experience with Microblading. If you haven’t heard of Microblading before, I would be surprised. It has been increasingly popular for several years now. Microblading is a form of semi-permanent makeup to help re-shape and/or thicken the appearance of your brows.

To be honest with you, I was SO nervous to get microblading done and after so many people had shown me theirs I decided it was time for me to explore if this was an option for me.

Some of the fears that were running through my mind:

Will I like it?

Will it hurt?

How do I get rid of them if I hate them?

Will it fade as quickly as my tint?

Who do I trust to microblade my face?!

I quickly realized I wasn’t alone with these questions/fears. If you are considering microblading, you have probably asked yourself a few of those.

Microblading is a process and requires at least 2 visits. My first appointment was on August 19th and my touch-up appointment was on October 4th. I would have gone in for the touch-ups sooner but because I decided to get married in the middle of the healing process, we pushed that follow up appointment to a later date.

After someone in my FREE private Facebook group posted and confessed her nightmare she was having with her eyebrows, it sparked a large thread of comments and got me thinking about getting my eyebrows done. Someone in the group recommended the incredible Brows By Ciara, I reached out and within minutes it was time to be brave and book my appointment!

I cannot stress this enough.

FIND A TECHNICIAN that knows what they are doing. You don’t want to be one of those horror stories you see on the internet.

If you are considering this process, I encourage you to read this entire post.

Even if you aren’t considering getting microblading, I have photos documenting the entire experience and some of them are worth your time in exchange for a good chuckle.

If you have ANY questions, drop them in the comments below and I will answer them as best I can.

I’ll start by saying that since going to see Brows By Ciara my life has changed. Not only because my confidence is through the roof (watch out world) because of my new brows, but I had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know Ciara. She is one of those people who make this world a better place and my life is better simply because she is now in it.

BEFORE

THE MICROBLADING PROCESS

The microblading procedure itself took about 2 hours. We had lots of chatting and photos going on though so don’t think you will be laying there being worked on for 2 hours straight. Here is a summary breaking down each step so you can get an idea of what to expect before you go. I imagine some places do things differently, but probably follow something similar to this:

Consult: Ciara had my fill out a pretty in-depth intake form which made me feel more comfortable and like this was legit! For whatever reason, I thought I was going to her house (in her basement) and when I walked into her beautiful shop I was instantly at ease. Ciara asked me what I was hoping to achieve, I showed photos of brows I liked and we worked together to get the shape right before we moved on to any next steps. I felt like this experience was extremely personal and appreciated that.

Outlining: Ciara drew on my face to show me the outline of what she planned on doing. You can be as picky as you want at this step. DO NOT just agree if you don’t like what you see. The outline is dark and scary, but it is using a brow pencil so don’t think your brows are going to look that dark when you are done.

Numbing the brows: Ciara used a topical numbing cream and continued to apply numbing cream throughout the procedure to make sure I was as comfortable as possible.

Microblading: After the cream absorbed, Ciara began to make hair-like incisions on one of my brows. She works on one eyebrow at a time. She was rubbing brow pigment (which we also agreed upon earlier) into my brow and letting it sit before wiping it away and making further incisions. I went super light and natural at first and wish I had gone a little bit darker on my first visit. I was scared and on the cautious side so I insisted that we “didn’t go too dark” but on my return visit you will see how my decisions changed. I just wanted to add this in for you to consider as you are picking your colour.

My brows were pretty numb, but I could feel it! Ciara made sure at all times I was okay. I would explain it as a “this hurts so good” type of pain. Each eyebrow takes about 40 minutes to complete but depending on your style and how much hair you currently have/don’t have this time could vary.

Healing: YOU DID IT! You absolute champ. Below are some FAQ answered by Ciara, these should cover everything you could be thinking about but as mentioned if you have questions drop them below.

Touch-up appointment: Your follow up is usually 4-6 weeks after your initial procedure. This appointment needs to be after your skin has fully healed. When I first went I wanted natural, light coloured eyebrows. You will see in the photos below this changed when I went for my touch-up appointment. We decided to do what is called “powder brows”. Think of this as more of a traditional tattoo. Thousands of tiny dots of pigment are inserted, gradually building up colour and making a more defined, full brow.

Finish product: After 2-3 weeks or so after your follow up appointment, you should be all healed up + your brows looking great. If you still have some blank spots, I recommend contacting your technician and heading back for an additional touch-up. If you have really light hair as I do, consider tinting the hair. I am so pleased with my brow shape, width, colour, everything. My microblading experience was AMAZING!

MICROBLADING HEALING AND AFTER-CARE

+ Why do my brows look red?

The red tone is caused by irritation and inflammation of the skin which can have lingering effects as a result of your service.

+ My brows are scabbing, is this normal?

Yes, scabbing is normal. Permanent Makeup services cause your body to go into protection mode (think about when you scrape your knee and your body goes into protection mode to begin the healing process; this is the same sort of reaction). It is also normal for your body to not scab. The results depend on your skin type and cycle and will contribute to the amount of scabbing if any at all.

+ Why did my brows disappear?

As the healing process continues, new skin forms over the wound. As the new skin forms, it may appear as though your brows have disappeared, but the pigment just needs time to resurface. Your brows will re-appear as you further along into the healing process.

+ Is it normal for my brows to heal at different times?

Your brows are not the same before the process. In most cases, we need to do completely different things to each brow to achieve symmetry. As a result, you will notice that your brows may heal independently and at a different rate. For example, if one tail requires more work than the other, you may notice that the one tail requiring more work has significantly more inflammation and irritation in comparison to the other tail. Likewise, if one brow requires more work at the head than the other you can expect that brow to have more inflammation and irritation than the other.

Let me know if you have any questions at all. I tried to be as thorough as possible but if I missed something just leave a comment below. Have any of you had your brows microbladed? What was your experience? I would love to hear!

Thanks again to Brows By Ciara (follow her on Instagram) for being SO awesome – if you guys are anywhere near Calgary, I highly suggest you go and visit their gorgeous space and this gorgeous girl – you can mention ‘LucyandKelsi’ for a little discount off your service too!

Not sure if you want to drop the $$ on microblading? I get it. All I can say is just think about how much time and energy you will save yourself. In my opinion, it is worth every penny.

MICROBLADING BOTTOM LINE

GO GET IT! Microblading is 150% worth it! It is so nice to wake up in the morning loving my eyebrows. They look so much better and I am saving so much time in the morning. I literally woke up like this.

All of this started because of a conversation inside my FREE Facebook group. If you aren’t in there yet, you can sign up here.

#microblading #brows ciara #permanent makeup #microblading process #brows #microblading eperience #microblading calgary

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perksofbeingamaineiac · 6 years

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October 28, 2018

I have been feeling really lonely. I had a breakdown last night and ended up messaging Giacomo exploding. I feel bad I haven’t told him how I have been on tinder and talking to other guys. No one makes me feel the way he does though. I haven’t liked or been that interested in anyone else the way I was with him. I fell quick and hard and I do miss the way I felt. I went on a date last Wednesday. With Tinder guy. The guy was really sweet, even apologized multiple times for the previous week. He has a good head on his shoulders, decent job. Bought a house by himself. He likes to travel. He likes to take pictures for fun. He kissed me. I didn’t feel anything...maybe just a little appalled. Is there something wrong with me? or for some reason is he just not the one? I still think his smile is cute. I know if I see him again he is going to want to bang and I don’t want to.

I think this is my time to be a Sub. Something I have wanted for years. What I have always been into. I found a dom. Is he perfect? No. He will do for now. We have had sex once. I have been craving another meeting. The only thing I would change is him not trying to go against my hard limits. He hasn’t even asked me what they are, but a few of them have come up. Like public sex, having another girl in the mix. Which I don’t really know how I feel about. I will watch another girl get fucked. I would not want to touch her. If she was into doing things to me maybe? I just don’t want to have to do things to her. The reason this is making me so nervous is because his other sub is 18 or 19. She lives in waterloo and I don’t want to show up at a strangers house that I need to get in bed with. I don’t get along with most women and I don’t trust them. I don’t know her. What she looks like, I have never talked to her. It just scares the crap out of me and triggers my social anxiety. I get that its about humiliation and me doing things I don’t necessarily want to. I am not ready for that though. Also he likes to be called Daddy and I have expressed that I will never call him that, but if she does I may projectile vomit. So against that. Doesn’t do it for me. I don’t know why some girls say it and how guys like it. Just no. We have been talking for over two months now. I really need to sit down with him and discuss how I feel about certain things and discuss others that I don’t mind him pushing me on.

I miss the people from Journeys so much. I don’t think the halloween party is happening, but I really want to start planning something for Christmas. Secret Santa, a nice dinner. Ill order in something and have everyone pitch. Something cute, that everyone can come to and we can all spend time together and catch up. They were and are a huge part of my happiness.

I am going to see if I can take out/ go with Sienna on halloween. I haven’t seen her in a little but and I think it would be nice. I may be a busy person, but I still want to be a part of her life. Be someone she can go to and talk to.

I also really need to plan something with Elicha. I really miss her and haven’t been making much of an effort even though I think about her all the time. I also want to message Preet and see how he is doing. Its been way too long. Maddie made her bed and she can lay in it. As mean as it sounds. Her friendship didn’t mean half as much to her as it did to me. She pretended like it did though. The girls from TCP still go out without me, so I don’t really care about them either.

On the note of cutting people out. I kind of want to delete Keirstin off Instagram. We are not friends. She doesn’t care about me. Never really has. Im bad when it comes to cutting people. Im too good at it.

I finally booked a day for my tattoo consultation. Which means I will be getting it soon. Its only been 4 years since my last tattoo....so long. I can’t wait. Christina is coming with me to the consultation and my Nonna is coming when I actually get it done. I am really excited. Hopefully there is no conflict with work.

I started doing laser hair removal on my stomach. A dream come true..if it works. Fingers crossed. If it works I am doing my back, then my butt, then my bikini line, legs, maybe brazilian. Well see, but thats the general order. I don’t really care about my underarms.

Lex and I have been spending a bit of time together which is nice. Kind of like old times, but with grown up things. I am glad were getting back into each others lives. It means a lot.

Im craving serious fast food. Sushi, Chinese, fried chicken and waffles, burgers. Its crazy.

Slavik asked me to go into the gym tomorrow to play ping pong with him, which is nice and exciting. I need to get out and he always listens to me, makes me laugh and its nice. I appreciate him. He fixed my shoulders. I got really sick last week from muscle spasms in my shoulders. He helped me out this weekend. Its already better.

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adambstingus · 6 years

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44 Girls Reveal The Most Insane Thing A Guy Ever Did To Impress Them

Found on AskReddit.

1. He gave me a little box of chocolates, but he’d already eaten half of them.

When we were dating my husband bought a little box of chocolates ‘for me,’ but had already eaten half of them because he wanted to try them, too. I still make fun of him for it.

2. He showed me his tattoos of various My Little Ponies.

Showing me his tattoos of various My Little Ponies. He was so excited to show me, he thought I was going to be blown away by it.

3. He told me he hung up my picture so he could see it while in the shower and he was masturbating to it.

I met a guy via online dating. We went to dinner. He was telling me how much he loved one of my photos on the site. So much, he said, he hung it up so he could see it while in the shower and he was masturbating to it.

4. Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?

I once had a guy message me and his opening line was, ‘Hey, wanna sit on my face?’

I responded with ‘Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?’

He blocked me after that.

5. He called me his number-one girlout of seven.

I dated this guy for like, a week in junior college. Still very much in the ‘getting to know you’ stage. It became really obvious early on he was one of those guys that try to put you down so you’ll think you’re lucky he’s even talking to you but I’d just answer every subtle insult with a ‘…K.’

We were hanging out and he says something like, ‘You’re my number-one girl.’ Kind of a weird thing to say at this point in the game, all right. I jokingly said, ‘Oh yeah? Out of how many?’ He makes this big show out of counting on his fingers and pretends to try remembering all the names in his binders full of women before he says, ‘Seven.’ I was like, ‘Haha, OK, well, I don’t think I could compete with seven. Good luck with that,’ and stopped taking his calls.

6. He told me he masturbated to me but had never been able to finish.

He told me he masturbated to me. And then when I was uncomfortable he tried to make it better by telling me he had never been able to finish to me.

7. He told me he could rip a phone book in half, so I gave him one.

One time a guy I worked with tried to impress me by telling me he could rip a phone book in half with ease. On my production of a phone book, he proceeded to repeatedly attempt to rip it in half to the point of shaking and sweating. He couldn’t. The second-hand embarrassment was real.

8. He lifted his shirt up and said, ‘Look how little body hair I have.’

I had a guy come up to me at a bar, lift his shirt up, and say, ‘Look how little body hair I have.’ Granted he was super-drunk, but I just walked away.

9. He gave me a frozen, severed alligator foot.

I was a project manager at a consulting company. We hired a very odd fellow by the name of Rod. One day Rod and I were discussing a local Asian supermarket. This is possibly the second time we ever spoke; he did not end up working at the company for very long after.

Me: ‘Yeah, they have a lot unusual stuff there!’ Rod: ‘They even have alligator meat for sale.’ Me, in the most disinterested tone: ‘Yeah, how about that.’ End of conversation.

Weeks go by, and Rod announces he will be leaving the company to start a new position. He comes by my office to say goodbye. I notice he’s holding something in a plastic bag behind his back, trying to hold back a grin.

Me: ‘Best of luck, man.’ Rod: ‘I got you a going-away present.’ I think this is odd, so I say, ‘But I’m not leaving.’

Rod hands me whatever is wrapped in the plastic bag. I start to wonder if it’s something he has removed from his body. I unravel the plastic and notice a fishy smell. It’s a severed, frozen alligator foot, with claws still in tact. From the Asian Supermarket.

Rod: ‘See! You didn’t believe me when I said they had alligator meat!’

tl;dr Guy once gave me a frozen, severed alligator foot.

10. Two words: dick pics.

Two words: dick pics.

11. A guy carved my name into his arm once.

A guy carved my name into his arm once. I don’t have a very short name.

12. ‘Your face is like a tomatothe skin is all smooth and soft. Can I touch your skin?’

1) ‘You are so beautiful. Your face is like a tomatothe skin is all smooth and soft. Can I touch your skin? No? Oh, well can I paint you then? I want to give you a camera so you can take photos of yourself and see how beautiful you are.’ Random guy on a bus.

2) Set up on a date once. Date arrives 2 hours late (don’t ask me why I was still hanging around), proceeds to tell me he needs to buy some new jeans. We go to a store, he tries on the jeans and decides he likes them. We queue. At the checkout he looks over at me and says, ‘Oh shit, I’ve forgotten my wallet in the car. Would you mind paying?’

I paid.

3) ‘Your face is round like a football’said whilst drunk off his face and scaling a bridge (over not-so-troubled water).

13. He said, ‘Mmm, your blood is sweet’ and went on to tell me it was the sweetest he’d ever tasted.

I was in an art class with a guy and we were doing linocut printmaking. You have to use this really sharp implement to carve your image and my teacher reminded us daily to keep our hands out of the way. Of course, I managed to gouge my fingers. This guy grabs my hand and sticks my bleeding fingers in his mouth. After he released me, he said, ‘Mmm, your blood is sweet’ and went on to tell me it was the sweetest he’d ever tasted.

14. He once sent me a video of him ejaculating and pointing out how copious it was.

This guy once sent me a video of him ejaculating and pointing out how copious it was. We were taking a fitness class together and I’d never even talked to him much.

15. I just stared at him as one would stare at a pet who just shit on the rug.

We were in the middle of the club dance floor and he just walked up to me, pulled out his phone, and showed me the video from his Facebook of him doing a leg press in a gym. I just stared at him as one would stare at a pet who just shit on the rug.

16. He offered me half-price on weed if I had sex with him.

’Sooo…I can give you this at half-price if you want to stay over.’

I backed out of the room laughing. No, Tim, I’m fine with paying full price for a quarter-oz. of weed. I really don’t want hepatitis.

17. He just takes his dick out and starts jackin’ it.

Oh man, my wife’s best friend has a good one, but I don’t know if she is on here and it’s pretty difficult to not mention.

So she goes on this date with a dude who looked like a model. Gorgeous would be the word I may have heard.

Anyway, they go on this date. They get in her car, and he just takes his dick out and starts jackin’ it. She’s like, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ and he just looks at her like a magician trying to ‘wow’ her. She doesn’t give anyway, though, and she’s pretty pissed. He gets upset and utters this phenomenal phrase, ‘Pfftyou’re just like the others.’

Which means that he has done this before! There is some good-looking dude who just goes on dates and jacks off in their car and wonders why no one likes him.

18. His military dog tags said ‘Made in China.’

This guy tried to impress me at a bar by telling me how he worked in the military. He had that kind of braggy attitude that makes people uncomfortable. Telling me how he’s trained to kill and knows how to use SO many weapons, and fly this and drive that, and knows hand-to-hand combat. I mean I don’t know anyone in the military, so who was I to say that some people didn’t behave like that? But it seemed so showy. He then ‘accidentally’ dropped his dog tags on the ground. Which also seemed weird. Who brings their dog tags to a bar, and also aren’t you supposed to wear them? Anyways, I was quicker to picking them up, he made a big deal about me looking at them, saying I wasn’t even supposed to touch them, as I was handing them back it clearly said ‘Made in China’ stamped on the back.

19. He told me that he didn’t normally date ‘Russian chicks’ (I have blonde hair, so OBVIOUSLY I’m Russian).

After bringing me every type of soda from the school vending machine (despite being told numerous times that I can’t drink soda), he pulled up a song on his phone and blasted it on full volume. He told me of how he understood the Japanese lyrics and the romance they held because love was a language spoken through raw emotions and could be understood by all. And of course, how the song represented our love. It was pretty cringeworthy.

Oh yeah, and he also told me that he didn’t normally date ‘Russian chicks’ (I have blonde hair, so OBVIOUSLY I’m Russian) because they are so strong and tough that they overwhelm his manliness. But I was ‘an artistic goddess’ who could set him free.

These are just the highlights. He did this stuff every day on the bus for an entire semester.

20. He read entire pages from a book written in Latin over a dinner date in a thick Italian accent.

Reading entire pages from a book written in Latin over a dinner date in a thick Italian accent because ‘that’s the way it most likely sounded,’ without translating anything, until I was about ready to fall asleep. I wrote off all classics majors after that date.

21. He asked me to his prom when I was 10 by buying me a candy bar.

Had a guy ask me to his prom. I was 10 and had never met him before. He asked me by buying me a candy bar while I was waiting for my mom to check out in the grocery store.

I was creeped-out. My mom thought it was hilarious.

22. I told him over and over again that I don’t like my feet touched, but he wouldn’t relent.

On our first date, about ten minutes in he told me that everyone always said that he gave the best foot massages and asked if I wanted one. I told him over and over again that I don’t like my feet touched, but he wouldn’t relent, so I finally said fine. Cue what feels like him literally trying to break my foot. Ended up with bruises.

23. One day he brought in his daughter (who was probably 6) and introduced me to the daughter as ‘mommy.’

When I was 18 waiting tables a much older man used to come in and sit in my section a lot. One day he brought in his daughter (who was probably 6) and introduced me to the daughter as ‘mommy.’ He told me he knew I was the ‘commitment type’ and said he said I was worth ‘the best thing he had to offer.’ It was cringeworthy.

He had been coming in for about a month before it got to this level of what-the-fuckness. When it happened I freaked out in the kitchen about it but kept my cool in front of him and didn’t say anything about it. Although the next time he came in he brought his mother and introduced me as his girlfriend and I lost it. I grabbed my manager and he kicked him out. The creepiest part about it was that he worked in a medical federal prison. I never saw him again, although I did run into his mother at Walmart about a month ago and it was very uncomfortable.

24. He would tell me stories of generally being a dick and following up with ‘I know I’m an asshole, but at least I’m honest, right?

It’s a tie between the guy that would tell me stories of generally being a dick and following up with ‘I know I’m an asshole, but at least I’m honest, right?’ and the guy that told me the story of how he drove the only girl out of his WoW guild by getting everyone to refer to her as a talking vagina (but she totally deserved it because she had a high-pitched voice).

25. He revved his engine and proceeded to take a sharp turn too fast and ditched his bike.

I was walking with a couple of my girlfriends when a guy on a motorcycle passed us. As he drove by, he revved his engine and proceeded to take a sharp turn too fast and ditched his bike.

He took off his helmet as he stood up and brushed himself off, picked up his bike, then he put his helmet back on. Only he tried to put his helmet on backward at first.

My friends and I are not mean-spirited, so we managed to keep a straight face until he drove away, then we laughed our asses off. Poor guy.

26. He came by every day to ask if I was ‘legal’ yet.

I was 14 and working at a coffee stand on an army base. A soldier came in and started hitting on me, not realizing how old I was. I told him my age and expected that he would give me an awkward apology and walk away… Instead, he told me that I was lying. It took some of my regulars coming in and convincing him that I was really 14. Instead of awkwardly apologizing and going away, he came by every day to ask if I was ‘legal’ yet.

Let me tell you, nothing says flattering quite like a creepy older guy who plans to basically stalk you at work for the next four years until you turn 18…

27. He texted me every hour or so every day for almost a month.

He texted me every hour or so every day for almost a month, then asked me out over text. When I declined he said something along the lines of, ‘Well it doesn’t have to be a “date date,” we could go as friends and see if anything happens. See, I can be accommodating!’

-.-

After another month of this I made a Google voice account and told him I changed my number. It’s been almost 3 years and I get texts/phone calls on that number.

Anyways he ended up dating my friend, flirted with me incessantly, cheated on her with multiple girls (not me), the two broke up, he asked me out again, then nearly got arrested for threatening to beat up a few kids. But hey, he’s super accommodating!

28. Cue me walking away and trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

Let me tell you about Heelys guy!

I’m at my university, waiting for the crosswalk to change, when out of the corner of my eye I notice this guy walking towards my location from the other side of the intersection. He has a skater helmet on (not clipped, just kind of hanging there 2cool4safety) and is skidding on, of course, Heelys. He stops about a foot from me and just…stares.

Me: Umm, can I help you?

HG: Yeah, you can stop raping me with your eyes.

Me: alrighty then.

HG: Also you can give me your number.

Me: Yeah, that’s not happening.

At this point the crosswalk signal changed and I started to walk away. HG, who had just been staring at me (red-eyed, most definitely high out of his mind at noon on a Monday), then grabs the back of a scooter and is heelying across the intersection to follow me. When he gets to the end of the intersection, he lets go of the moped (as the driver is yelling at him) and And he falls on the ground. And his helmet rolls away because it wasn’t clipped on.

Me: Are you okay?

HG: NO CAUSE YOU REJECTED ME.

Cue me walking away and trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

29. He fell with an inaudible cry in between the two buildings (about 12-15 feet).

In college, I lived in an apartment building that was extremely close to an old original building on the block where my friend lived. He and I were just friends at the time, but I knew he was interested. I had just been out riding my bike and was walking my bike up the steps to the stoop in front of our doorway. There was about a 7-10 foot gap between our stoop and the porch of this old building. Unbeknownst to me, my friend was (in his mind) cleverly trying to sneak up on me, Spider-Man style by nimbly jumping from the porch to our stoop while I got out my keys. However, his plan went awry, and he fell with an inaudible cry in between the two buildings (about 12-15 feet). I casually entered my apartment with my bike as usual. Two minutes later, I hear a knock. I see my friend, battered knees and elbows, looking rather sheepish. I’m confused and concerned, then he tells me what happened, in front of my roommates (all mutual friends), and we DIE laughing! Poor guy. Of course, we bandage him up and give him a beer for his troubles. LOL.

30. Catcalled me every day on my jogging route for a week.

Catcalled me every day on my jogging route for a week. Creepy as fuck. After the second or third day, I was like, ‘I’m not going to let some lout intimidate me away from my favorite route!’ So I kept going, but I drew the line when he actually tried to grope me. Now I go in the complete opposite direction. Pisses me the fuck off.

I know that avoiding the guy was a bad idea because then he could potentially hurt others, and I regret not doing anything. But given my age, stature, etc. at the time, I wasn’t in any position to physically fight back without endangering myself. I was also afraid of the guy following me home/harming me even more, so I got the fuck away as soon as I could.

31. A guy had a journal that was filled with poems about me, pages of ‘I love you’ written over and over.

A guy had a journal that was filled with poems about me, pages of ‘I love you’ written over and over, stories in excruciating detail of how we’d spend the rest of our lives together and he even had drawn pictures of what our children would look like. Every page was dated. This man wrote in it EVERY DAY for a year. I had no idea about it until he gave it to me for my birthday.

32. ‘Do you feel bad enough for me to give me your number?’

I was working and this kid that had been hitting on me all day came back and tried to hop onto the tips of his skis. (Using his poles to prop himself up?) Even though the move was supposed to drop my pants, he totally ate shit the noise was unmistakable. I hear a smack, him expressing his pain and then, ‘You didn’t see that, right?…Do you feel bad enough for me to give me your number?’

33. Dude pulls out the full-size metal rose that he’s cut and welded by himself and painted up all fancy.

I was dating a guy in first-year university (he was a fair bit older than me) and I mostly saw him evenings and weekends. He was a metalworker and worked long days, etc.

Things weren’t moving in the direction I wanted them to be going (read: him acknowledging me as his real girlfriend/actually officially dating)it spawned a lot of petty arguments.

I ended up breaking up with him and going back to his place the next day to get my stuff. He goes, ‘Oh, I made you this for Valentine’s Day but hadn’t given it to you’dude pulls out the full-size metal rose that he’s cut and welded by himself and painted up all fancy.

The breakup happened in

Dude panicked and tried to pull out some romantic gesture after realizing I was leaving.

I took the rose and I left. It sits on my desk and I look at it every day.

Spoils of war.

34. He faked having a girlfriend.

Faking having a girlfriend. If anything, it made me like him even less (which I didn’t think was possible).

35. For about 10 minutes. I was dying of second-hand humiliation for him.

I was at a bar with some friends and a moderately decent-looking guy starts to chat me up. He starts to talk to me about how smart he is and how he turned down a scientific master’s position at [nearby university] to work at a biotech startup. Interested, I ask about what the startup does, etc. Just being polite and making conversation.

It turns out he works at a clinic that does Alzheimer’s disease evaluations…doing intake paperwork. After unsuccessfully trying to change the subject to spare him embarrassment, he asks me what I know about Alzheimer’s. (Of course) before I answer he steamrolls me to tell me in copious (incorrect) detail about the disease. For about 10 minutes. I was dying of second-hand humiliation for him. He then finally asks what I do…

I’m approximately halfway through a Ph.D. program in which I examine molecular mechanisms underlying Alzheimer’s disease.

At this point I ask if he wants to leave. He does.

36. I don’t care how fast, loud, or how flashy your car is, you’re fucking annoying.

Any guy that tried to impress me with the type of car they drove. I don’t care how fast, loud, or how flashy your car is, you’re fucking annoying.”

37. ‘I’ve always wanted to have 4 kids. I have 3 now. I’ve always known you would give me #4.’

I had an old high-school friend find me on Facebook and pm me ‘I’ve always wanted to have 4 kids. I have 3 now. I’ve always known you would give me #4.’

38. After being told, ‘Do not talk to me again’ and 3 months of no contact, I’m clearly SUPER into him.

By bombarding me with texts nonstop and asking me out in the most pathetic way. He’d never do anything in person, just make awkward small talk, and the second we went our separate ways I’d get a text asking me to dinner. After making it very clear that I did not want to date him (straight up said, ‘I am not interested in dating you”), he’d try and convince me that I was flirting with him all the time.

Oh yeah, because clearly I have no idea what my own intentions are and need somebody else to explain them to me.

Even after flat-out telling him, ‘I am not interested in dating you,’ he’d ask ‘But, like, what does that really mean?’ Oh gee buddy, I mean it really sounds open-ended. After about a month of him trying to ask me out and me telling him, ‘I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DATING YOU,’ I told him to stop texting me and to not talk to me in class. And he did, until 3 months later. That’s when I get an essay-long text, telling me I’m perfect and ‘not fake like other girls’ and that he hates everybody but he doesn’t hate me and blah blah blah and ends the text with ‘[First Name Last Name], will you do me the honor of being your boyfriend? Or we can just be friends that’s cool too.’ Because after being told, ‘Do not talk to me again’ and 3 months of no contact, I’m clearly SUPER into him.

39. He immediately starts talking about how much money he makes, his life’s luxuries, his recent purchases.

Whenever I meet a guy, go on a date with him or just have a conversation with him and he immediately starts talking about how much money he makes, his life’s luxuries, his recent purchases, etc. that to me, is the saddest most annoying thing that guy can do and by no means the right way to impress me.

Guys acting like that tells me two things: 1) You think so vague and so superficially of me, that you think that impresses me; 2) You think so little of yourself and your character, that you use materialistic items to try and get girls, and that is a complete TURNOFF.

40. Librathe LION.

I was at a bar once, and a fellow tried hitting on me by asking, ‘What’s your sign?’ After laughing, then feeling bad (because he was completely serious), I answered the question.

‘I’m a Libra.’

‘Ooohhhhh, the LION!’ he exclaimed.

‘No….. the Scales….’ I respond.

‘Ah…I’m usually better at this. Sorry,’ was his reply, as I smile and leave with my drink.

41. He told me he was a Saudi prince and offered me a million dollars to have sex with him.

I was a waitress in a restaurant. A Middle Eastern guy told me he was a Saudi prince and offered me a million dollars to have sex with him. I found this to be creepy, and likely bullshit, therefore I said no.

I still occasionally wonder whether he was telling the truth, because honestly if he was, the answer would’ve been, ‘Let’s go.’

42. A guy tried to rap for me.

A guy tried to rap for me. I have nothing against rapping and I like rap music, but it was to HIS OWN previously recorded rap that he put on his iPhone.

No music, nothing. Just him yelling into his phone. And he didn’t even know the words!! To his own rap!!!

43. He tried to light two cigarettes at once.

My SO tried to light two cigarettes at once on our second date.

The wind kept snuffing out the flame. With two cigarettes still in his mouth he said, ‘Impressing you one failure at a time.’

His attempt to impress me didn’t work, but I thought he was cute so I kept him.

We no longer smoke.

44. I told him he should probably go back to DC.

Told me the only reason he hadn’t asked me out yet was because I seemed like I had a man back at home taking care of me, asked me out anyway, and when I said no, proceeded to tell me that ‘if you were living in DC you’d be all over me. I got hundreds of numbers when I was in DC.’

I told him he should probably go back to DC.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/44-girls-reveal-the-most-insane-thing-a-guy-ever-did-to-impress-them/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/174840700042

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allofbeercom · 6 years

Text

44 Girls Reveal The Most Insane Thing A Guy Ever Did To Impress Them

Found on AskReddit.

1. He gave me a little box of chocolates, but he’d already eaten half of them.

When we were dating my husband bought a little box of chocolates ‘for me,’ but had already eaten half of them because he wanted to try them, too. I still make fun of him for it.

2. He showed me his tattoos of various My Little Ponies.

Showing me his tattoos of various My Little Ponies. He was so excited to show me, he thought I was going to be blown away by it.

3. He told me he hung up my picture so he could see it while in the shower and he was masturbating to it.

4. Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?

I once had a guy message me and his opening line was, ‘Hey, wanna sit on my face?’

I responded with ‘Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?’

He blocked me after that.

5. He called me his number-one girlout of seven.

6. He told me he masturbated to me but had never been able to finish.

He told me he masturbated to me. And then when I was uncomfortable he tried to make it better by telling me he had never been able to finish to me.

7. He told me he could rip a phone book in half, so I gave him one.

8. He lifted his shirt up and said, ‘Look how little body hair I have.’

I had a guy come up to me at a bar, lift his shirt up, and say, ‘Look how little body hair I have.’ Granted he was super-drunk, but I just walked away.

9. He gave me a frozen, severed alligator foot.

Me: ‘Yeah, they have a lot unusual stuff there!’ Rod: ‘They even have alligator meat for sale.’ Me, in the most disinterested tone: ‘Yeah, how about that.’ End of conversation.

Me: ‘Best of luck, man.’ Rod: ‘I got you a going-away present.’ I think this is odd, so I say, ‘But I’m not leaving.’

Rod: ‘See! You didn’t believe me when I said they had alligator meat!’

tl;dr Guy once gave me a frozen, severed alligator foot.

10. Two words: dick pics.

Two words: dick pics.

11. A guy carved my name into his arm once.

A guy carved my name into his arm once. I don’t have a very short name.

12. ‘Your face is like a tomatothe skin is all smooth and soft. Can I touch your skin?’

I paid.

3) ‘Your face is round like a football’said whilst drunk off his face and scaling a bridge (over not-so-troubled water).

13. He said, ‘Mmm, your blood is sweet’ and went on to tell me it was the sweetest he’d ever tasted.

14. He once sent me a video of him ejaculating and pointing out how copious it was.

This guy once sent me a video of him ejaculating and pointing out how copious it was. We were taking a fitness class together and I’d never even talked to him much.

15. I just stared at him as one would stare at a pet who just shit on the rug.

16. He offered me half-price on weed if I had sex with him.

’Sooo…I can give you this at half-price if you want to stay over.’

I backed out of the room laughing. No, Tim, I’m fine with paying full price for a quarter-oz. of weed. I really don’t want hepatitis.

17. He just takes his dick out and starts jackin’ it.

Oh man, my wife’s best friend has a good one, but I don’t know if she is on here and it’s pretty difficult to not mention.

So she goes on this date with a dude who looked like a model. Gorgeous would be the word I may have heard.

Which means that he has done this before! There is some good-looking dude who just goes on dates and jacks off in their car and wonders why no one likes him.

18. His military dog tags said ‘Made in China.’

19. He told me that he didn’t normally date ‘Russian chicks’ (I have blonde hair, so OBVIOUSLY I’m Russian).

These are just the highlights. He did this stuff every day on the bus for an entire semester.

20. He read entire pages from a book written in Latin over a dinner date in a thick Italian accent.

21. He asked me to his prom when I was 10 by buying me a candy bar.

Had a guy ask me to his prom. I was 10 and had never met him before. He asked me by buying me a candy bar while I was waiting for my mom to check out in the grocery store.

I was creeped-out. My mom thought it was hilarious.

22. I told him over and over again that I don’t like my feet touched, but he wouldn’t relent.

23. One day he brought in his daughter (who was probably 6) and introduced me to the daughter as ‘mommy.’

24. He would tell me stories of generally being a dick and following up with ‘I know I’m an asshole, but at least I’m honest, right?

25. He revved his engine and proceeded to take a sharp turn too fast and ditched his bike.

I was walking with a couple of my girlfriends when a guy on a motorcycle passed us. As he drove by, he revved his engine and proceeded to take a sharp turn too fast and ditched his bike.

He took off his helmet as he stood up and brushed himself off, picked up his bike, then he put his helmet back on. Only he tried to put his helmet on backward at first.

My friends and I are not mean-spirited, so we managed to keep a straight face until he drove away, then we laughed our asses off. Poor guy.

26. He came by every day to ask if I was ‘legal’ yet.

Let me tell you, nothing says flattering quite like a creepy older guy who plans to basically stalk you at work for the next four years until you turn 18…

27. He texted me every hour or so every day for almost a month.

-.-

After another month of this I made a Google voice account and told him I changed my number. It’s been almost 3 years and I get texts/phone calls on that number.

28. Cue me walking away and trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

Let me tell you about Heelys guy!

Me: Umm, can I help you?

HG: Yeah, you can stop raping me with your eyes.

Me: alrighty then.

HG: Also you can give me your number.

Me: Yeah, that’s not happening.

Me: Are you okay?

HG: NO CAUSE YOU REJECTED ME.

Cue me walking away and trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

29. He fell with an inaudible cry in between the two buildings (about 12-15 feet).

30. Catcalled me every day on my jogging route for a week.

31. A guy had a journal that was filled with poems about me, pages of ‘I love you’ written over and over.

32. ‘Do you feel bad enough for me to give me your number?’

33. Dude pulls out the full-size metal rose that he’s cut and welded by himself and painted up all fancy.

I was dating a guy in first-year university (he was a fair bit older than me) and I mostly saw him evenings and weekends. He was a metalworker and worked long days, etc.

Things weren’t moving in the direction I wanted them to be going (read: him acknowledging me as his real girlfriend/actually officially dating)it spawned a lot of petty arguments.

The breakup happened in

Dude panicked and tried to pull out some romantic gesture after realizing I was leaving.

I took the rose and I left. It sits on my desk and I look at it every day.

Spoils of war.

34. He faked having a girlfriend.

Faking having a girlfriend. If anything, it made me like him even less (which I didn’t think was possible).

35. For about 10 minutes. I was dying of second-hand humiliation for him.

I’m approximately halfway through a Ph.D. program in which I examine molecular mechanisms underlying Alzheimer’s disease.

At this point I ask if he wants to leave. He does.

36. I don’t care how fast, loud, or how flashy your car is, you’re fucking annoying.

Any guy that tried to impress me with the type of car they drove. I don’t care how fast, loud, or how flashy your car is, you’re fucking annoying.”

37. ‘I’ve always wanted to have 4 kids. I have 3 now. I’ve always known you would give me #4.’

I had an old high-school friend find me on Facebook and pm me ‘I’ve always wanted to have 4 kids. I have 3 now. I’ve always known you would give me #4.’

38. After being told, ‘Do not talk to me again’ and 3 months of no contact, I’m clearly SUPER into him.

Oh yeah, because clearly I have no idea what my own intentions are and need somebody else to explain them to me.

39. He immediately starts talking about how much money he makes, his life’s luxuries, his recent purchases.

40. Librathe LION.

I was at a bar once, and a fellow tried hitting on me by asking, ‘What’s your sign?’ After laughing, then feeling bad (because he was completely serious), I answered the question.

‘I’m a Libra.’

‘Ooohhhhh, the LION!’ he exclaimed.

‘No….. the Scales….’ I respond.

‘Ah…I’m usually better at this. Sorry,’ was his reply, as I smile and leave with my drink.

41. He told me he was a Saudi prince and offered me a million dollars to have sex with him.

I still occasionally wonder whether he was telling the truth, because honestly if he was, the answer would’ve been, ‘Let’s go.’

42. A guy tried to rap for me.

A guy tried to rap for me. I have nothing against rapping and I like rap music, but it was to HIS OWN previously recorded rap that he put on his iPhone.

No music, nothing. Just him yelling into his phone. And he didn’t even know the words!! To his own rap!!!

43. He tried to light two cigarettes at once.

My SO tried to light two cigarettes at once on our second date.

The wind kept snuffing out the flame. With two cigarettes still in his mouth he said, ‘Impressing you one failure at a time.’

His attempt to impress me didn’t work, but I thought he was cute so I kept him.

We no longer smoke.

44. I told him he should probably go back to DC.

I told him he should probably go back to DC.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/44-girls-reveal-the-most-insane-thing-a-guy-ever-did-to-impress-them/

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