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michellelynncangelosi · 1 year

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What makes people love to travel

Many people take pleasure in visiting new locations, getting to know new people, and taking in new sights. This is due to the fact that travel can relieve stress and enhance mental wellness. Additionally, doing something new will teach you a lot about yourself. A journey can also be more fun if you have a friend abroad.

Traveling is a fantastic way to raise your mood and reduce stress. It can be difficult to find time to unwind, but when you go on vacation, you can have fun while also unwinding from stress.

The majority of people don't consider travel as a means of enhancing mental health, yet it actually does. According to studies, taking a break from your regular routine, family, and job can help you feel better emotionally and psychologically. The fact that many people have started to take at least one vacation a year is not surprising as a result.

The ability to get better sleep while on vacation is one of the primary advantages. Nearly half of Americans, according to the National Sleep Foundation, don't get enough sleep. Even though staying asleep can be difficult, a weekend trip can be helpful.

It can be really rewarding to travel. You can meet people from many walks of life, see a new region of the world, and learn new things. It can, however, be quite difficult. Language and cultural hurdles may make it challenging for many people to navigate. You can acquire recommendations and information from other travelers, which might help you steer clear of potential problems.

Volunteering is another fantastic way to make friends while traveling. Volunteering gives you a more genuine travel experience and can help you get better at the language. Your experiences while traveling will also give you important insights into local culture and society.

If you're not sure where to begin, think about some of the best trips for mental health. You'll have a delightful, unforgettable experience that will help you unwind and refresh, whether it's a rural road trip or an exotic safari.

Overcoming obstacles is one of the most thrilling aspects of traveling. You will probably face new difficulties on your journey, whether you go alone or with your family. You can improve your life by strengthening your self-confidence by taking on these tasks.

People enjoy traveling because it allows them to explore the world and interact with various cultures. Traveling, meanwhile, can be difficult at times, particularly if it's your first trip. Being accustomed to your home environment makes it difficult to adapt to new surroundings. This is why a lot of people use travel as a stress reliever.

Travel is a fantastic way to pass the time. It can transport you to locations you never imagined being able to explore. You can discover your heritage, meet a variety of new people, and learn about various cultures. After that, you can tell your friends and family back home about your adventures.

Meeting new people is one of the key reasons people enjoy traveling. You get to interact with individuals from all over the world when you travel. You can learn new words, idioms, and cultures from people with diverse backgrounds. This will aid in mind expansion and make you more appreciative of your native country.

You can get support from friends abroad if you're having a hard time. Email or Skype can be used at any moment to contact these individuals. They want to hear about your trip and will always be there for you.

A wonderful way to discover a new region of the world is to get to know a friend there. Along with taking in the local cuisine and music, you may learn about the culture. Traveling might be made simpler if you have similar interests and inclinations.

You can learn a few expressions and idioms from a friend who is from another nation. Give your friend a list of guidelines and expectations. You won't argue in the future if you follow these rules.

Learning about other cultures and individuals can help you become more social. You are compelled to open up and see the world from a different perspective during conversations with strangers. You can do this to broaden your horizons and learn more about the civilizations of the world.

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1572

How often are you optimistic? As much as possible, honestly. Every now and then I get anxious about too many things at once that the last thing I want to do is compound them with even more negative feelings.

Would you say your thoughts are generally rational and logical or irrational and illogical? Uh, logical, I guess.

Tell an interesting fact about your favorite country? I don’t have a favorite country.

Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Not at the moment, no.

Are you the type to pay attention to detail? Yeah, being in my field of work trains you to be too detail-obsessed for your own good lol.

To you, what is especially distracting? I am very sensitive to noise. If I’m in the middle of presenting a work report, for example, I could literally lose my entire train of thought if I hear even just a door open and close or hear somebody laugh from downstairs.

What are some things that are important in your life right now? Working towards resigning.

When was the last time you did some major cleaning? Like, 3 hours ago lol. My dad surprised me with new shelves so I finally got around to clearing the area that used to house my messy K-pop merch stash and boy did I find a bunch of trinkets and things that needed to be thrown away like, 500 years ago.

Have you ever thrown anything away, and regretted it later? Yes. Why is it that we keep certain things sticking around for the longest time, then by the time we’d actually need them it’s when we’ve thrown them out already?

Are you the type to regret things, or live and learn? Live and learn. Like of course regret is a sensation I go through and I regret small things I’ve done here and there; but in the grander scheme of things I am in the belief that regret is largely a waste of time. I don’t let it eat up my life.

How often do you feel like you need time to yourself? Every weekend or just every time my week happens to be packed with so many PR events, which is also just synonymous with socializing days.

Do you like being around other people? Why is this? Yeah, I’m pretty extroverted. Idk, I just like meeting new people and getting to know them. Being with others also helps make me feel less lonely.

Do you feel like anyone "gets" you? Who? Not anymore.

What would you be most likely to do with a friend, today? Right now? At 2 AM? Most realistically, having a drink and a deep talk about life, as you do with friends at this hour.

When are you most likely to be crabby? When I’m working. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m really no longer happy (and I can’t fake it anymore, too), and that I *have* been a bit crankier towards everybody now – the very attitude and persona I’ve been trying to avoid. I barely even talk to Bea these days, too. The last thing I want is to cause a stressful environment to people, so it’s really time for me to go now haha.

How about upbeat and cheerful? Any time I’m off work, honestly. I transform into a completely different person the moment I sit down with my family for dinner, for example.

Who challenges you the most? In what way? I wanna say myself; I like placing myself in unfamiliar situations as it helps me grow and learn more about handling different people, different problems, etc.

Who seems to hold you back? In what way? Living in a country that has little room for opportunities to begin with.

What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Using my weekend to visit a new art gallery...I’m just too lazy to drive lol

Would you rather have a quiet day at home, or be on the go? Depends on whether I’m socially-recharged, or need to recharge. Do you think you made a good impression on the last person you met? I hope so!

How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? I resent them very much.

Are you able to ask for help when you need it? For the most part. At work though delegating has always been my weak point. I always automatically do things on my own that Bea often tells me to slow down and that other people are around precisely to help me out.

How intense is your anger? Have you ever hurt anyone|yourself? Mine is a very silent type. I kind of just let it simmer inside me until it fades away on its own because I’m not very confrontational to begin with; but yes, sometimes I do tend to snap at others. I’ve hurt myself in the past too but it’s been a while since I’ve done so; it’s not so much a habit anymore. What is something red that you like to eat? Red velvet anything. I love that flavor/filling.

Do you ever have trouble getting lighters to work? Haha, I’ve never gotten a lighter to work before. Too scared of fire.

If someone drinks, would that lower your opinion of that person? Not at all lol nearly everybody I know drinks. What would ultimately shape my opinion is if they had the tendency to act nasty, and god forbid abusive, when they’ve had one drink too many.

Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Never.

If your best friend wanted to cheat on his/her partner, you would say? Give them a loud ass earful until I’m able to talk some sense into them.

Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Andi.

Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? My past, I guess? And I don’t mean to say I’m the type to cling to the past – it’s more like how my past wins, failures, traumas, basically everything I’ve ever been through is what’s led to the me of right now.

Who do you go to when you need comfort? Just myself. Having friends is great, but the past two years have taught me to only depend on myself and to see myself as ok company when it all boils down to it.

Is there anyone/thing with who/which you like to cuddle? Just a pillow or one of my Tata plushies.

Do nightmares still bother you? Nightmares don’t visit me too often now, but I do still get dreams I’d categorize as shitty. It’s when people I’ve cut out from my life suddenly make surprise guest appearances, which can really ruin like the first 10 minutes of my day lol.

At what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore? To tell you the truth, I’ve felt like a grownup since I was like, 5. My mom was never the best at handling her anger and picking her words, so mistakes that I did that any other kid would’ve also done were always met with very loud and very intense reactions from her – reactions that stuck. It hardened me, and also developed anxiety in me, from a very young age and forced me to grow up a little quickly than my peers.

I’d say by the time I was 10 I was pretty much indifferent already, and it took a very long time for me to process what I went through and to come to terms with the fact that it was a wrong way to have spent a childhood.

Are you or were you in a hurry to grow up? Little bit, yes. I remember being 9 and always doodling what my dream house would look like, and always telling my elders that I couldn’t wait to get older so I could get the damn house built hahaha.

What is a fear you have about living on your own? Having to familiarize myself with adult terms that have always seemed scary to me LOL like mortgage and home credit(?????) hahaha

Do you have any survey-maker recommendations? If yes, who? I do have a handful of go-to authors on Bzoink but it’s actually been a while since I’ve lurked on there! For the last few months I’ve been lifting surveys from my archived likes here on Tumblr and my backlog is pretty bad hahaha. After I wipe out all my likes then that’s about the time I’ll head back to Bzoink and catch up on all the new surveys I’ve missed.

Who was the last person to completely fascinate you? This one girl from the food photography studio I recently worked with for work. Pretty big deal for me to say but she might actually be my first happy crush in two years. It was a lot of fun having worked with her, and idk she was really cute and nice and it felt weirdly fuzzy and nice to have been around her for that day.

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tistje · 6 months

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Navigating December as an Autistic: Challengs and Celebrating Moments

December is supposed to be a time of celebration and warmth, but honestly, to me it's most of the time just like any other month, not much different from November or January. For some, it's filled with social gatherings, shifts in routines, and sensory experiences. For others, it's business as usual, with no deviation from their daily routines. While some cherish December, for others, it's a stressful ordeal, the pinnacle of anxiety, and everything in between.

For me, December means lots of social interactions, disruptions in routines, and sensory overload. But it's also a time for self-discovery, personal growth, connecting with loved ones, and expressing creativity. It's the perfect month to set clear boundaries while also pushing them a bit to celebrate small victories without overwhelming myself.

More than any other month, December demands preparation but remains unpredictable. I try to plan ahead with flexibility in mind to make December as enjoyable as possible. I've noticed how some non-autistic folks who usually dislike planning, structure, and clear agreements throughout the year seem to forget that in December, especially during the holiday season. They already know exactly how the last week of December will unfold, what they'll prepare for their guests, who will attend, where everyone will sit, how the days will go, and where they'll spend the period between December 20th and January 2nd (either on a distant island or mostly at home) – and their feelings toward family and community gatherings.

For me, December is a time to know my boundaries, protect them without hesitation, and confidently say 'no' to invitations or activities that are overwhelming. It might also mean not receiving invitations but still wanting to be part of the festivities. December might not be the best month for making significant changes in this regard, except for stepping out regularly and joining public celebrations. Taking regular walks and venturing outside is a routine that remains a good idea even in December, pushing you slightly out of your comfort zone.

Personally, I look forward to quiet moments and periods for reflection. Early morning or late-night walks, moments on the terrace with our cat, reading before bedtime – and trying not to focus too much on news and social media posts. The latter two always seem more frenzied in December than the rest of the year.

At the same time, I try to stick to my daily routine as much as possible. Even though it's not always easy, especially during the 'festive season' (between December 20th and January 2nd), which disrupts many routines and habits. Stability and routine are more important to me than ever during this month.

December, more than the summer months of July and August, takes a toll on my mental health, as I've experienced throughout my life. I'm particularly sensitive to seasonal depression and weekend and holiday anxiety. Notably, December includes a high number of visits to therapists and support providers. Of course, I want them to enjoy the holiday season, but I also appreciate when they can spare some time because it serves as an anchor for me, preventing my anxiety and depression from escalating.

The most crucial lesson I've learned about this month over the years is something I constantly remind myself of, especially during tough times – it passes. There are also small victories and enjoyable moments to celebrate. December, especially its end, is the perfect time to celebrate the good things that have happened this year. Whether you write them down, paint them, speak them out loud, or create a year-end summary in your own way. Because one thing is certain, as you read this, you're here, and as far as I'm concerned, you deserve to be here and stay.

#autism #winter #celebration #celebrating #challenges #december #changes #mental health #inspirational

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mood2you · 10 months

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Books I guess

A pretty quiet week since the weekend was restful. Not that I will always be regaling you with personal stories.

I read a lot this week, finishing Bamboo Kingdom 3, Up The Organization, and Edge of Evil. I think the political intrege of the Erin Hunter books is pretty good, I wouldn't have started one of the non-cat stories if Bamboo Kingdom hadn't been new at the time. Edge of Evil got a little write up which it shared with Conversations With People Who Hate Me, for my challenge of reading a nonfiction for every fiction, which is going to end fast unless I get creative. The library only has 1 Australia book for The Rosie Effect, and it's in the travel section, not the history or politics or somesuch section. That's just an example, I guess I could look for books about beer next time. Don't ask me what I'm reading after Bamboo Kingdom, one of those Chinese politics books where if it happened here to us we'd say, yeah that happens everyday, but if it's China it's uniquely horrible. Wealth inequality and economic stress, book bannings, corrupt justice system? At least America does have different libel laws than China and the U.K. It's worse because (well, it's worse because I always have the armslength translation) it's a book from 2004, when I was 7, so I keep on comparing 2004 China to, like, 2010 America because that's all I got, that's as far back as I can muster any adult self-awareness. I guess next time I could look for, like, family based books, like, transracial or orphans or brothers. Up The Organization was probably stupid, it's definately sexist for example, but it's from the 1970's so give it some slack. I also started a difficult audiobook of Interview With The Vampire, and to help me focus I'm playing Pokemon Emerald. Well it's not difficult, in fact I love the rhythm of the cadence when you speed it up, but it's unlistenable at normal speed. Interview with the Vampire is really good, funny and addicting. And to think I unhauled my Fin De Ciele book, aw nuts.

I did draw a little, for ArtFight, and I haven't picked up crochet since last week because I'm disappoined I forgot my lesson about the magic circle. I've been thinking and doing a little writing!

I've been following the ArtFight meltdown closely without spending too much time on the Discord because sometimes it's really annoying in there, but of course there's lots of people who are so nice and friendly in DMs. Meanwhile the mods have such a reputation of never answering DMs! I hope ArtFight pulls through??

Been sleeping alright, in fact I went to bed at 11:30 and woke up at 7:30 yesterday, eating okay but not great (not enough veggies, etc.) If you've already seen this, then you have an idea of what I've been eating! I'm already running out of time this week to make persiki cookies and I think my cousin is tired of getting them when he visits.

That wine is good, but I don't remember what it is. It's sweet at room temp, and buttery out of the fridge. People ask me what wine I like but I have no clue, if it's not gonna be sweet it better be buttery, I guess, and it better not taste like champagne.

Oh, also, I finally watched Venom and I thought it was funny. It has the time blue-light that Twilight does and they climb a tree. Did anyone else think of this?

I'm kind of sad not to have Netflicks anymore because my cousin would like watching The Witcher with me. Is Cavil in that one? Sheesh!

#books #food #alcohol #pokemon #wine #politics #blog

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taxiservicechaurffeur · 1 year

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Hire London to Windsor Castle Taxi Services

Windsor Castle, home to English royalty, has been home for over 900 years. It is also the most visited castle around the world. While the Queen lives in Buckingham Palace, London, however, Windsor Castle is 22 miles away and her weekend escape palace. But mostly, you won't be able to see the Queen or her family during your visit. This fantastic attraction offers a unique opportunity to see the United Kingdom's royal history and how it functions today.

Search Taxis For Any Occasion

You can search for London to Windsor Castle Taxi Services at any hour of the day or night. If you prefer, you can also request a taxi on-demand. Taxi companies will locate the driver closest to you and get you to your destination on time. Choosing the right airport taxi service for you can be difficult, especially with many options. The live chat support is also available 24/7 to answer any questions.

Benefits Of Hiring Taxi Services From London to Windsor Castle

Check out below:

Punctuality

You don't have to worry about being late for your destination when you hire a reliable taxi company. Reputable taxi companies offer guaranteed times.

Drivers are punctual and will ensure you don't miss a minute. You can pre-book a ride online, and they will be at your pick-up location when you specify.

Hassle-Free Travel

It can be stressful to drive through traffic, take care of your luggage and find the right terminal. Your stress levels can be significantly reduced by hiring a reliable car company. Your driver will ensure you avoid congestion and get you to the airport quickly so you can easily check-in.

Professional Drivers

Hiring a professional driver to avoid mishaps while travelling by taxi is essential. Professional drivers will be available when you hire a trusted taxi service.

They will ensure a careful drive to make you have a pleasant ride. You will enjoy a pleasant ride without worrying about rash driving or misinterpreting signals.

24/7 Availability

It can be a problem if you don't have a car or travel at odd hours. Finding a taxi on the street in the middle or early hours of the morning can be challenging.

Taxi service in this situation can be pretty helpful. You can hire a taxi service at any hour of the day. You can book a ride online and get to Windsor Castle quickly.

When is the Best Time to Visit Windsor Castle?

London to Windsor Castle Taxi Services is accessible yearly except for selected holidays like the Queen's Official Birth and Christmas. The place is great to visit any time of the year. However, the time of day can impact your visit. The historic ritual of changing the guard occurs every day at 11:00 a.m. This is also the busiest time of day to visit Windsor. You'll miss out on most people if you go in the afternoon. You can include St. George's Cathedral while you are visiting George's Cathedral. However, please note that services are not held there on Sundays.

Conclusion

Although public transport is excellent for getting around, there are times when booking a taxi is more convenient. Professional taxi companies are available 24 hours a day, which means you will always have access to the best service and professionalism, regardless of when you travel.

#london to widsor horse show taxi service

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mvillamemoirs · 1 year

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August 2020 unloading

Monday August 31st, 2020

-Work was okay. Woke up almost late, didn’t have time to make coffee or have breakfast and found myself getting crabby at work. I really need to work with Milenna more about scheduling because not all of us including my Boss gets to take a decent lunch break. Rather than getting irritated with her, I think I’m just going to look at things like a challenge/opportunity to grow somehow out of the situation.

-Walked my dog, thinking about how irritated I am living in this house. Thinking about my parents divorce and how I need to move out because being here reminds me about him. I feel like i can’t talk to my mom about deeper things. I feel like it doesn’t matter to her.

-The closer it got to bed time, the more I just kept thinking about the next court date. I’m worried, I’m frustrated, I don’t know all the details, I’m all sorts of emotional and aggravated because I have so much to lose. I just want to continue to work, go to school to focus on my career/educational goals, and enjoy time with my friends and family. Since this incident happened, I feel paranoid and I just want to be alone until it’s over. I don’t want my misery spewing over onto other people’s plates. I feel so stressed out.

Sunday, August 30th, 2020

-Worked at Lokahi for a bit. It was very mellow. Both acupuncturists are starting to grow on me. I adore them so much and it’s so fun. Nothing really bothered me that shift, it was easy going.

-Getting home I made myself supper, then ended up going to my cousin Raymonds house for dinner- sashimi, poke and lobster. He’s like my brother and just came to realize how I hardly see him. He asked about my sister, my dad, and I ended up telling him how I’m seeking therapy. Asking about my Dad kind of pulled on some heartstrings because I feel like it’s a sensitive subject that of course I wouldn’t know where he’s currently at. . That dude abandoned us or whatever. It also was an ‘eye-rolling’ moment asking about my younger sister because she’s really out just doing whatever with her boyfriend, and has her hands tied with that. I find myself not responding to the subject of my dad’s whereabouts less emotionally, which I think is a good thing because it’s like I’m accepting of the fact that my parents are divorce. I still have some resentment and anger towards him just because of the entire situation, but more accepting of the fact in general.

--We were also talking about Hawaii, how this is all of our first time not going back to visit- normally we all go once a year. I really miss my grandma, cousins and older sister. COVID sucks.

Saturday, August 29th, 2020

-Came to my weekend job, was very productive and called it a day 3-4 hours here since i’m basically working nonstop until Labor Day where I’ll be off. I figured if I have the energy to, especially before Fall semester starts, why not, right?

-One of the acupuncturists came back and it’s so weird because we just don’t click, just co-exist. She caught me up to speed that she was safe and didn’t have to evacuate at her parent’s place in Santa Cruz. It’s strictly just business with her, Holly. I love how that business is woman-owned and I always get a sense of uplifting each other and overall women empowerment. The patients are just as delightful as the staff.

-Hung out with Danny at his place at nighttime. All we did was watch The Flash on Netflix, took 3 shots of vodka straight-yuck. Just simply hung out since we couldn’t go out anywhere as bars and restaurants were closing at 11pm. Hanging with him just made me realize that we cannot talk about serious things like what was the downfall of our relationships. We cant talk about our feelings, I don’t think I was even comfortable telling him I was seeing a therapist nor what happened at the arraignment. . I really just had the vibe that it’s not his business, and there’s no point in sharing deeper things like that with him when it’s not going to change anything. Maybe we’re just better off friends, but I just kept remembering that night of getting arrested that Danny was like my safe zone/ protector, and I looked to him in more ways than just being a significant other. It amazes me how we go to all of that, to just this current situation of being friends or whatever it is. I guess in the end all you have is yourself.

Friday, August 28th, 2020

-Went into work getting lectured at by the other chiropractor’s wife about separation of patients because that’s how the chiropractor I worked for wants to do it. I felt embarrassed getting grilled first thing in the morning in front of patients, and I need to have a sit down with my boss regarding that issue as he’s the only one who wants to continue the practice like that despite sharing the building overall. I think it doesn’t align with the philosophy of wanting to treat the community and get people better

--Felt much better when I told Camille how she made me feel and she apologized for being insensitive. Still uneasy overall about the conflict. By the end of the day I didn’t get to talk to my boss because he was rushing out to get to his dinner date. It’s so annoying that he wants to start and wrap up meetings when it’s convenient for him versus a general daily thing.

-Went home feeling empty and numb. It was a good work day overall but I feel so lost sometimes. School is starting, not sure how to go about with my break up when the guy wants to hang out, trying to date but that’s a bit stagnant due to covid, I just feel uneasy overall. I miss my family in Hawaii, I would’ve been there and back by now. I miss my friends from the east coast. I’m feeling clusters of emotions with where i’m at, and just exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. This whole court date thing in November is eating at me, too. I feel irritated. I did a whole ‘treat yourself’ meal and had pizza for dinner and called it a night with netflix.

--I’m trying to slow down my pace and enjoy time to myself like i did before.

Thursday, August 27th, 2020 -Work was very slow paced, and my boss assigned me to work the front desk so Milenna can practice at the back office duties. I felt so fatigue and physically and mentally drained today-coffee didn’t help.

-At the very end of seeing patients, I talked with my boss about wanting more benefits as I enter the 3rd year, offered me a sign on bonus as I’m worthy in his business, but still want to revisit overall. I ended up telling him I was seeking therapy, and he asked if I talked to one of his bestfriends that comes into the office for treatment. I guess she commented some time ago that if I need someone to talk to, she’ll do it- but I told him it's a conflict of interest for me because I don’t like to shit where I eat. I wonder what it was about me that gave off that impression at that time-i don’t know, maybe deep in thought as the arrest was recent.. Again, not sure.

--On the ride home, I was just thinking how sad I really am inside-it’s hard to think about the lawyer method, because I feel like to contradict negative thoughts- I was thinking about my parent’s divorce and cried a bit on the way home- would be a positive thing about myself regardless being sad (?), and I think there’s no relation. . I need to practice more.

---I also started to think about my grandpa and how I miss him so much. He passed away in 2014 and that’s when I started to smoke tobacco as a coping mechanism and destress. It made me realize how my birthday is coming up soon, and I wanted to quit by then. Time to start cracking down on myself and look at my triggers/habits when I feel like smoking stoges.

Wednesday, August 26th, 2020

-Very productive and high energy at work. Vibed with everyone-including co-workers. Today was also my review with my boss-I’ve been there for 2 years now. Very interesting how my boss keeps giving me more duties to do, but I feel like I’m in the crosshairs of “I should be lucky I have a job” and knowing my worth as I do know the office operations like the back of my hand. It’s a good deal regardless, but didn’t want to sign right away.

-I feel more accepting and less anxious about the next court date. I have to keep faith in my attorney.

-Danny called me by bedtime needing help to change his flat tire at work. I ended up going for a number of reasons: empathy, it took him a lot to ask me knowing that our last conversation was about being friends when I still want to work things out, maybe this could’ve been an opportunity to tell him what’s going on with me and I’m in a funk. . It ended up being a very mellow encounter where I was just watching him change his tire and having his subwoofer stashed in my car. I like to see my kindness not being a weakness, just my nature.

Tuesday, August 25th, 2020

-Woke up this morning wanting to stay in my bed a bit longer. Woke up feeling Zen and more relaxed- not as anxious about the court date today because I put trust in this attorney for things to work out in my favor. Trying to control my outlook and keep vibrating higher with better intentions. Took my dog out for a walk and thought back about my oracle cards last night, and contemplated ‘‘healing”. Thought about self love, and mentally told myself that I loved myself which for the first time it hit some strings internally and I just realized I haven’t said that to myself in sooooooo long. The more I kept repeating that to myself, the more I just felt those words losing meaning, i don’t know.

-Went to pick up a loaner laptop from SJCC as mine has become unreliable for this upcoming semester. Feeling productive.

Monday, August 24th, 2020

-Work was overall good. Not sure what it is with Milenna, but her presence just tends to irritate me occasionally. Maybe it’s because she’s slow paced and sometimes drags my energy down, or she doesn’t do some of her work (?), but when I start to get this way, I go elsewhere to help my boss with patients to keep my energy flowing. Just that quick second of irritation didn’t affect my work day, though. It was a lot of laughs and connecting with patients and catching up. I’d say it was a good day at work overall.

-Coming home felt really uneasy knowing that my court date is less than 24 hours away. I feel aggravated and anxious and very impatient. I want it to get dismissed, I want all that to go away. Maybe I need to declutter my room to get a sense of clarity and peace. After walking my dog I lit up an incense and reorganized my closet and walking space to get rid of extra objects that don’t serve purpose, or that’s just taking up space. Might reorganize my shelves eventually.

-I did an oracle spread for the 2020 year. It’s crazy how it highlights healing and this is the year for that. I took it as a sign to work on myself since I’ve been feeling on the go and wanting to go out and not having any ‘me’ time. Adventure is the fruit of the looms of self-healing, abundance is what challenge will arise, I can thrive through the year with focusing, and flow is what I’ll gain throughout 2020.

Sunday, August 23rd, 2020

-Helping out at Lokahi felt very refreshing today as it did yesterday. Talking with one of the acupuncturists and sharing my educational goals reassured me that I’m on the right track. She was also a certified massage therapist while practicing in behavioral health and gave me lots of insight. I told her I wanted to pursue CMT while retaking health science courses as I’d have a full year before reapplying to the PTA program at Ohlone CC next year-I’m thinking this will strengthen my knowledge and skills regarding the human body. She cheered me on and told me she personally can see me succeeding on that educational route!

-Went to go see Stephanie after work today. The smoke and the air quality fucking sucks, can’t even see the ESSJ hills. It was mellow, reassuring her that I’m happy with whatever she chooses to do with Jerome because he’s a cool dude despite me and him having a fall out. I feel lightweight ‘meh’ about it. Not bothered, but just want to make sure she feels the same way.

-Hung out at Steven’s pad for the first time. Met him from Tinder, started talking and it’s so easy to converse with him. I like keeping my word with things I say that I’m going to do, so that took him by surprise when I actually dropped by tonight. His vibe is cool.

-This arraignment date simmering in the back of my mind is keeping my anxiety afloat. It’s hard to think forward when I feel like a lot weighs on this outcome. Drank hibiscus tea to relax before bed.

Saturday, August 22nd, 2020

-I feel like the universe is fucking with me. A lot of old ghosts-from-the-past are popping up- ie Jerome, Greg and Danny. Like is this a test? Like at the end of the day I just want everyone to be happy- I want everyone to win. I feel weird and uneasy about it, calling Kenn and telling him details about it, maybe I’m getting my period soon.

-Talked to my sister in HI a little bit and was contemplating about telling her about the arrest and arraignment date. Everytime I think about the court date, I hear Theo’s advice that I shouldn’t worry about anything, “it’s just a ticket that you can fight or get dropped” or something like that. SIGHH….

Friday, August 21st, 2020

-I thought today was a very good day at work! My energy was up there, got in about 57 patients in from originally 40 patients. Milenna wasn’t in which made me feel like ‘deer in headlights’ having to be doing the front desk work. Caught up on billing, very productive overall while having fun with patients.

-Best friend Stephanie, told me how someone at her parent’s Subway tested positive for COVID and that I won’t be able to come to the house for a while. That blows, but also having thoughts if this is her way of getting space to date Jerome- whatever. As long as she’s happy that’s all that matters. She’s going to get tested this weekend, so hope it comes out negative so we can hang.

-Surprise, surprise. . Danny hits me up to hang out tonight, then changes his mind in 20minutes as I was cleaning. At first I was calm about hanving out with him, but now I’m like what the fuck. I’m irritated with the whole Danny issue- states that we shouldn’t hang out last minute because we’re not friends yet (?!). I feel like he should’ve just left me the fuck alone instead of dangling with my feelings.

-Getting super anxious again realizing how close my arraignment date is.

Thursday, August 20th, 2020

-I feel unproductive at work since it’s very slow patient flow. I can’t focus. I feel like the day is dreading.

-I feel bad for my cousin’s fiance as she’s putting her dog down tomorrow. I’m more than sad for her and it just reminds me that I’m not ready if my dog were to pass away. Makes me appreciate my dog, Nala, more.

-Talked to Zarinah just now. Even though she moved back to New Jersey I love how we randomly check in on each other. She caught me up to speed with what her and her other friends are doing, her son’s situation- I would’ve been there this year by now if COVID didn’t exist. I told her about my 4th of July weekend, the getting arrested ordeal, Jerome talking to stephanie. I miss her a lot!!

Wednesday, August 19th, 2020

-Woke up to my car covered in ashes. This weather is making me feel depressed, aggravated, super concerned for those that are impacted by it. Hope my coworker Blanca is okay.

-On the drive home after work I kept thinking about my ex boyfriend. I feel more mad and upset rather than sad at the moment. I miss him, I feel low. . but ‘I deserve the kind of love I desire’, no? I should just cut ties and block him everywhere.

Tuesday, August 18th, 2020

-Forgot I was having brunch with Anthony today. Talked to my PCP about my physical and mental health. Told him I was seeking outpatient care because of how slow inpatient services were for behavioral/psychiatric therapy. I felt he disregarded that and was highlighting me to take smoking cessation classes, when I am a conscious change and have begun smoking less tobacco daily. I don’t know why he’s pushing extra hard with taking these classes when I’ve weaned myself off smoking before. But anyway, just got ready last minute to meet up with Anthony for brunch versus flaking on plans for whatever reason (had the just do it attitude).

-Didn’t realize I set another therapy appointment in person with another LMFT today. The first encounter I didn’t know what to expect and got lost just getting to know each other. Went an hour and 20 minutes or so, and I just felt like I was introducing myself to her, spewing more details than anything. She commented she’s aware of my anxiety and can see how mildly depressed I am, but I didn’t really feel it was effective versus yesterday’s session. She mentioned she doesn’t think her methods are safe for me in the state of being that I’m in. Took the depression questionnaire home, but I don’t think I want to go back. She did mention eye-movement method (?), color schemes and blot pictures (?), reprocessing information methods (?). Not sure but I feel like i didn’t get anything out of that session than just highlighting how sad I freaking am.

-Told Anthony via text that I don’t see anything romantic between us. I didn’t feel like pursuing him in that way and see us being only friends. I felt that’s a respectful way to let him know versus him feeling like I'm leading him on, and he just went on mute and became unresponsive. I feel like I would appreciate someone telling me that straight up from the start, but whatever. I feel a bit irritated by it, but I can’t control other people’s emotions.

Monday, August 17th, 2020

-First therapy meeting went well. Broke down and cried a lot, felt vulnerable, never realized how much sadness I had inside. I did feel a light feeling of relief at the end of it. Looking for the next session, while reminding myself ‘it’s okay to feel what i’m feeling”.

-I have such strong adoration for my mom and how strong of an individual and woman she is. I feel very spiteful towards my dad for emotionally and financially degrading my mom through the divorce process (fighting over money, the house). It’s so weird how my mom doesn’t want me to think any less of my dad because ‘he’s my dad’ and I feel it takes more than making a child to be labeled as a father than providing sperm, right? I feel irritated when it comes to telling me how to feel about whatever the situation, because my feelings are valid, too. I don’t want their failed marriage to influence my love life.

-I talked to my bestfriend kenn while walking my dog. He makes me feel calm. Told him about my first therapy session, he highlighted the importance of feeling safe and open with a therapist and finding one that clicks- which I agree and feel like I did. Caught him up about Danny, anxiety with school, and how work eased up with my coworker, Milenna. She used to irritate me a lot, but now it’s water under the bridge. Health is an investment.

#august2020

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notesfromastranger · 2 years

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To Know Without Truly Knowing, Faith

I challenge you to discover your happy place.

A place that gives you butterflies. A place that feels like magic.

If you feel that this place may be found in the thickness of a forest, travel there. If you feel that this place has a salty taste to the air, then go. If you feel that the peaks of the mountains contain the wisdom that you seek, run.

Once you have found this place, you will know. You won’t think it, you will feel it.

Once you have found this place, return often.

I’m back! I came back! The little beach house with the dock. This weekend could not have come at a better time. Work stressed me out this week. The salt, the water, the cool breeze of October. Just what the doctor ordered. As I entered the home, I greeted it at the door. Hello house. I had a different feeling than the first time I stayed here. The first time was filled with anticipation and excitement and now it was the feeling of familiarity and comfort. I walked out to the dock and took a deep breath. The goal now was to get out of work mode and settle into island time.

The next morning I woke up not bright and very early. It was 7am and the sun had just started to make an orangy appearance which I could see in between sleepy blinks. I always wake up early here. I’m not sure if the uncomfortable bed is to blame or the excitement that builds when you realize that you’re gulf side.

I grabbed a jacket and headed to the dock to watch the sunrise with a cup of tea. I was present. Engaged with all of my senses. Also, did you know that seagulls stand on one leg when they’re still!? I had no idea until this morning.

No dolphins yet but I did get another unexpected guest. An older woman walked on to the deck and joined me. As she made her way over to the table and chairs she asked “are you doing yoga or on your phone or anything?” I thought this was interesting. She wanted to talk. Nothing about this conversation was superficial. I explained to her that I was here for the second time. The first time I came with my best friends and it was shortly after a break up. I had an amazing time and fell in love with the place but this time I wanted to visit solo. She told me how her family was from Georgia and that they had been here for a week and leaving this morning at 11. She talked about her daughter’s dating experiences and how dedicated and passionate she was about the church.

Her faith came to her when her first husband asked for a divorce. She was in tears asking the lord to show her what she should do. She grabbed the bible, opened it up, closed her eyes and pointed to a verse. Her face lit up with laughter when she was telling me this “how stupid right” she said. When she opened her eyes her finger was on a verse that read.. “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” She was shown her direction and she took it. She met her second husband when she was 35. They met at church and she fell in love with the way he spoke about his relationship with the lord “not his appearances” she carefully whispered as she looked for him. They had 3 kids together, and she had 1 from her previous marriage.

Her husband walked outside and I met him, as well as her youngest son. She called him her miracle baby because she asked for him and had him when she was 48 years old. As the conversation progressed her husband mentioned something about someone that I hadn’t heard her talk about yet. She looked at me with a heaviness to her now and said that they had lost their son when he was only 18 years old. She described him as a tall young man with a solid build. He was sweet and respectful and had a relationship with God that was similar to hers. He was the kind of kid that would say yes ma’am without talking back even when she was being snippy with him, she described. This boy, her son, had just said good-bye to his friends after a bible study on the night that he died. He took a backroad and went straight on a road that turned left. He crashed into a fence post and it went through the windshield and decapitated him. “If it would have been just any old fence post the car would have run it over but this one was sturdy and made well” she said as she got a little teary eyed. She explained how she was angry at God for a while and that she had cried many times on this dock this week. “Sometimes I'm okay and at peace with it and other times it’s hard. In these moments I ask God for my faith” she confessed. “Sometimes people don’t believe in someone upstairs who has a plan when these types of things happen, but that may just be because we can’t wrap our brains around it”. There was wisdom in this.

I felt honored that she had shared this vulnerable moment with me. It’s amazing how much I got to know about this beautiful stranger. She’s reminded me to keep my faith in the universe even when I feel like turning my back on it. Every experience whether positive or negative in nature develops the person that we are always becoming. We are never not becoming. We are always growing, adapting, changing and evolving. This perspective to me, makes life so interesting. There will always be challenges and obstacles and sometimes these will simply come from our own brains but there's so much beauty in arriving on the other side. Would life really be worth living if it were always easy? I’m not so sure.

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pawna-lake-camping · 2 years

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Pawna Lake Camping | Pawna Lake Camping in Pune

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everythingwritingg · 2 years

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I really can’t believe Nanowrimo is fast approaching. 2022 has gone by so fast and we’re more than 75% of the way done with the year. October is coming to a close and November is approaching. Now is the season for pies, turkeys, and of course, NaNoWriMo. Whether this is your first time or you’ve done every one of them since they began, here is a list of tips to help you have a pleasant Nano experience.

First, what is NaNoWriMo? Whenever I post anything about Nano, I always get a bunch of questions asking what it is. It stands for National Novel Writing Month and happens every November. Writers challenge themselves and each other to write 50,000 words a month, which equates to 1667 words a day. You can go to Nanowrimo.org to participate.

Choose a story idea you’re excited about. A lot of people find themselves quitting their projects because they lose interest. While it might be hard to predict how you’ll feel about a project down the line, try to choose an idea you’re interested in, such as in your favorite genre. If you’re trying to continue an existing project, make sure you love it!

Break the monthly goal into weekly and daily goals. Thinking about writing 50K words is daunting and can make you tempted to procrastinate, so split it up into chunks of days and weeks. You can choose to write 1667 words every single day (I’ve done that), but it might benefit you to have some flexibility. One thing I find helpful is weekly goals such as 12K words a week so maybe you can write more words on weekends when you’re less busy. And remember that November is a whole month, so maybe you’re a little busier wrapping up some work deadlines at the beginning of the month, but then you go on Thanksgiving break. Or maybe you’re busier around the end of the month due to visiting family so you’ll write more in early November.

Be prepared by doing PrepTober. While you definitely don’t need to get every single detail down on paper, you should at least have an idea of your beginning, middle, and ending. This will make you more efficient since you’ll reduce the time you need to think. It can also make the process way less stressful.

Focus on getting the first draft done. Don’t edit as you go, because it’ll take more time. Instead, focus on getting the words down. You can edit later, but you can’t edit if you have nothing written. This might be hard to stomach for perfectionists, but you can absolutely edit in December.

Hold yourself accountable. Some people like having writing buddies to share progress, while others like to post their progress on social media. Whatever works for you and keeps you motivated. If you’re self-motivated, you can also keep a journal of how many words you wrote a day.

Work in places that promote productivity. This looks different for everyone. Some like to listen to music, others like writing in silence. Whether you prefer writing at a desk or on the couch, this is all up to personal preference. What normally makes you more productive?

Don’t stress too much. If writing 50K words is too much for you to handle, you can set your goal lower like 20 or 30K. November is a hectic month for some people, with work, school, and family. Unless you’re a full-time writer, you likely have some responsibilities more important than writing. It’s ok to put writing on the backburner if it’s affecting your ability to get some of them done or negatively impacting your mental health.

If you’re participating in Nano this year, I wish you the best of luck. If you’re not, then I wish you luck with your writing and life goals this month. Don’t hesitate to comment if you have questions, and I hope you enjoyed!

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crazy-loca-blog · 3 years

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Casey Valentine: About Her Present

A/N: Did the inspiration suddenly hit me after I had no idea what to do about this because I had never thought about it before? It did. Set somewhere between the end of Book 3 and right after it just because otherwise I wouldn't have had things to say about Casey's future. Part of the @openheartfanfics "Meet My MC" event.

Meet My MC || About Her Past

If Casey had to describe her three-year residency at Edenbrook, she'd say it's been intense, life-changing and unexpected. Time went by so fast and so many things happened in so little time, that quite often she still thinks all of this is just a dream.

Sometimes she still doesn't believe that she survived a betrayal, a trial, and an assasination attempt. She could even write a book about it, but keeping some of these stories to herself and the people around her seems wiser.

She passed her boards with flying colors and now she's ready to face a new challenge: becoming the new head of the Diagnostics Team. Ethan offered her the job after he was offered the Chief of Medicine position by Naveen, and even though at first she didn't know what to answer, she knew that Ethan would have never offered her the position if he considered her incapable of excelling at it.

And you can tell she already has a lot of plans for the team, even though none of them implies filling the spot that she'll leave. The work dynamic with Harper and Tobias is amazing, and they all think they don't need another member at the moment.

She's also glad that her salary will allow her to get rid of her med school debt sooner than she expected, even though she knows what she'll do with part of her first payment: she'll get Esme a ticket to visit her parents in El Salvador. This is something she's been thinking about since she knew her story. She knows how it feels growing up without parents, so if she can make a difference on the life of her intern, she will.

The only condition for her to accept her new position as head of the team was to be able to set some time apart to work in the free clinic. This is one of the most rewardings experiences for her and it reminds her why she decided to become a doctor in the first place, so she doesn't want to lose that.

When Casey first arrived in Boston, it was all about the medicine. She wanted to learn from the best. Little did she know that the same guy she admired as a doctor would become the love of her life.

Everything began as a mentor and mentee relationship, but after a few months it became something else. And it's been that way for the last three years.

Their relationship has been... interesting, to say the least. They both had different reasons to fight their feelings for each other (Ethan's morals on one side, and Casey's previous heartbreaks on the other side), but apparently when two people are meant to be, things are just inevitable. And they seem to be inevitable.

After the longest time and many highs and lows, they made things official a few weeks ago. And they're over the moon about this. Casey doesn't remember being this happy before.

However, she wants to do things right this time. She has always felt her previous relationships failed because she made too many impulsive and bad decisions, and she really wants things to work this time... mostly because she has recently discovered admitted to herself that this is the first time that she is completely and utterly in love.

Yeah, she thought she had been in love before... but after meeting Ethan and understanding her feelings towards him, she just knew she had been so wrong in the past! She never felt like this about anyone before.

Do people talk about them? All the time. Does she care? Not at all. She felt uncomfortable about rumors at first, but Casey knows that people have been talking about them for the last three years, and she doesn't care anymore. She's just too busy trying to be happy to care about what people say about them.

However, to avoid any potential conflicts at work, they both have decided to keep their relationship as private as possible. And so far it's working.

If Casey learned something about friendship during her residency, is that you never know when someone may betray you. Luckily, she has few friends, but they're the best.

Luckily, they all happen to be brilliant in their areas of expertise, so they all are geting great job offers to stay in Boston. And none of them is planning to leave.

This is awesome for several reasons, but mainly because they don't need to find a new place to live or a new roomie, which is a relief for everyone, and because they won't need to schedule annual reunions to catch up on their lives... they can keep having their daily or weekly ones.

She is also lucky to keep working with people she admires a lot: Tobias and Harper. She still can't consider them her friends, but they're certainly on their way to become more than colleagues.

Outside Edenbrook, Casey also keeps in touch with her med school besties: Tracy and Lauren. They both are doing their residencies at Mayo Clinic, so the chances they visit each other any time soon are very low. However, Facetime helps them to keep in touch at least once a week... and Tracy is getting married very soon in New York, so Casey is counting the days to see her girls after all this time (maybe she should tell them that now she might be taking a plus one with her?).

Even though the original plan was that Oliver would be going to Boston with Casey, things changed after grandma Marie passed away and Oliver decided to stay back home.

The twins had never been apart, so this has been a whole new experience for them. Not only it has helped them to become their own person, but now their relationship is stronger than ever.

They keep in touch on a daily basis. They don't talk on the phone often, but they are constantly messaging each other during the day.

Oliver also visits her every two or three months. And Casey's heart feels so full of love when his brother has the chance to share with her extended family, just because they all get along really well. In fact, they've already set a tradition: every time that Oliver is in town, they make plans to spend a day at Martha's Vineyard.

Casey goes back to Virginia every summer; however, the end of her her residency might mean that this is the last time in a while that she'll be able to spend more than two weeks at home. But that's okay... as long as she has a few days to recharge her energy by being in touch with nature and with her roots, she'll survive.

Of course, she's dying to take her friends there. Ethan has already visited and he won't admit it yet, but he's become a fan of that place. He completely gets why Casey loves it so much.

The idea of returning home after the end of her residency was tempting, Casey actually considered it at some point, but she'd be lying to herself if she says her heart is not in Boston.

Going from Virginia to Massachussets was a 180 degree change in Casey's life. She traded the mountains, the lakes and the river for skyscrapers, Seaport and Boston Common. Of course, this also meant making some life adjustments and discovering new hobbies.

She finally managed to balance work and life (something that had been impossible at med school). And even though Donahue's is the place to go after the long shifts, brunch on weekends with the gang are definitely her favorites.

Bryce, Rafael, and Ethan introduced her to the gym life at Edenbrook. At first, she only trained with the guys, but now she goes a lot by herself too, especially when she feels too stressed or when she needs to disconnect from the world. However, when it comes to release anger, boxing with Jackie is most definitely the option at the top of her list.

Sienna has taught her the art of vision boards to achieve her goals, but she's far from mastering it. in fact, any person who sees her vision boards would think they were made by a 5 year old kid. At least she tries (and she may even have reached a goal or two).

She also volunteers with Rafael once a week at his community center, even though she still can't learn how to dance samba. Sometimes, they also recruit interns, residents and attendings to perform some routine health checks to whoever wants them. These events are a hit... handsy Henrietta can't deal with so many hot doctors at the same time!

Life has taught her a lot since she arrived in Boston. Third-year resident Casey is a completely different person than the girl who assisted a thoracotomy on her first day at Edenbrook.

Luckily she hasn't stopped being her best self; however, after the incident, she felt that life was giving her a second chance. And she's been making the most of it since then.

She has everything to be happy: a dream job, the best brother in the world, a group of friends that became her extended family, and a "new" boyfriend who has been with her through thick and thin during the last three years.

She still deals with some PTSD, but a good therapy and understanding that this is perfectly normal while trying to learn to deal with it helps a lot.

Now she's ready to make a real difference in health care, the one that she dreamed about making in her intern year.

Tags: @adiehardfan @izzyourresidentlawyer

#meet my mc #oph meet my mc #oph meet your mc #casey valentine

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poedameronloverx · 3 years

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A New Way Of Life

Life In Lockdown Series Masterlist

Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Summary - As the reality of working from home sets in, you and your friends have to learn to work around one another, whilst also finding things to relax you to make evenings with your friends a lot of fun.

Warnings - Mentions of covid

Word Count - 2090

Week 1 – March 2020

The first few days of lockdown were a challenge. Trying to get in touch with people from work was proving more difficult than you’d first thought. You were getting easily distracted as well. BeeBee spent his time going between Poe in the dining room and you in the living room, the open plan nature basically making it a massive room for him to wander around in. Anytime he came near you, you couldn’t resist picking him up for snuggles. Poe was a distraction too, he liked to sing to himself as he worked and the sound of his voice was distracting you from whatever work you were doing. After reading the same line of an email 4 times you decided to take a break, you headed to the kitchen and started up the coffee machine. BeeBee followed you, deciding to have his own drink break with his bowl of water. Rose appeared in the kitchen whilst you were waiting for your coffee to be done.

“How’s it going?” she asked

“It’s a lot more challenging than I thought. Everything is distracting me!”

“Me too” she replied “And most people aren’t picking up calls today because they’ve all obviously had to close their offices as well”

“I can’t get hold of management” you replied “And BeeBee keeps wanting attention and he’s so cute I always give in! We should put a smart watch on him. He’s probably done 10000 steps walking between Poe and I”

“How’s Poe as a colleague?”

“Distracting, he keeps singing”

“He’s a good singer, could be worse” Rose chuckled

“Yeah he’s great but my mind just hears singing and thinks it’s done with work” you replied “Have you heard anything from Finn?”

“No, the doors been closed all morning. I don’t think he even came out for a break”

“Hopefully it’s going alright for him”

“Why don’t we do something tonight” Rose said “We’re all having weird days so maybe we could plan fun things in the evenings”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Movie night tonight” she replied “We can make dinner then watch a bunch of movies. We can plan other things for other evenings”

“I’m in” you replied “It’ll be nice to have something to look forward to”

“What are we looking forward to?” Poe asked as he joined you in the kitchen

“Oh, Rose was just saying we should plan fun things to do in the evenings, starting with movie night tonight”

“Sounds great. This working remotely thing is really not fun”

“BeeBee likes it” you smiled “He’s enjoying going between us”

“Well as long as the best boy is happy then we all are” Poe chuckled, leaning down to scoop the dog into his arms “You’re the best little buddy aren’t you”

“So cute!” Rose whispered

Rose’s idea for a movie night was just what everyone needed after the first day of the strange new reality the world found itself in. The 4 of you picked a movie each, the genres ranged from musicals, to Disney, to action and finally horror. You didn’t hate horror movies but they would never be your first choice. BeeBee who had taken residence in your lap for movie night suddenly found himself being hugged a lot tighter than previously. Rose and Finn were sat on one sofa all cuddled up, Rose had a blanket over her head and Finn was chuckling at her anytime she jumped at the scares from the movie. Poe and you were sat on the opposite side of the room. A blanket covered your legs, which were crossed underneath you. Poe was stretched out, his feet hanging off the end of the sofa and his head rested on a pillow a few inches away from you. He sat up when you jumped at one particularly bad jump scare.

“Hey, you alright?” he whispered

“Just not really my kind of movie” you replied

“Me neither, but Finn loves them so I’ve got used to them! I can hold your hand if you want”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine. It’s just a stupid movie right?”

“Right” Poe smiled, he sat up and moved closer to you “Just incase anyone tries to grab you, I’ll not let them”

The sun decided to make an appearance on the 3rd and 4th days of lockdown. It wasn't tropical temperatures or anything but you could get away with being in the garden as long as you had a hoodie on. Rose was completely snowed under at work and you rarely saw Finn apart from lunch. Poe’s boss had taken pity on them all after a stressful few days and given them the Friday as a day off. You could see him sat in the garden with BeeBee whilst you worked. It was approaching 12.00 and you were slowly losing the will to live. You managed to push through until 1pm when you were ready for lunch. Your boss emailed to give everyone the afternoon off so you made your lunch, pulled a hoodie on and headed out to the garden to join Poe. As soon as the sun hit your skin, you instantly felt relaxed. It had been a strange week and you were grateful to be able to start your weekend a few hours early. You grabbed one of the garden chairs and moved it over next to Poe.

“Happy weekend” he said as you sat down

“It’s been the weirdest week in the entire world. I’m so glad we made it to the weekend”

“Me too, and I’m really glad you got an early finish. Bee isn’t the best conversation holder” he winked

“He’s cute though, he gets points for that at least!”

“That goes without saying”

The dog must’ve known he was being spoken about. He got up from his place in the shade to come and get some attention.

“Wanna take him a walk with me later?” Poe asked “The ice cream kiosk in the park is open, we could get something there, and it would be nice to have some company”

“Yeah, that sounds good”

Finn and Rose were still upstairs working when it came time for BeeBee’s walk. You texted Rose to tell her you’d gone with Poe. The park was beautiful in the sun, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d actually visited it. It was only a 10 minute walk away from the house but you didn't really have a reason to go to it. There were families out on walks, people on their own, people with dogs. Everyone was out enjoying the weather and taking their one form of daily outdoor exercise. You chuckled as BeeBee tried to make friends with every other dog and human he came across, his little tail wagging the entire time. Poe led you over to the ice cream kiosk he had mentioned; there was a long socially distanced queue.

“You keep an eye on Bee and I’ll get us some ice cream” he smiled “There’s a bench just round the back of this kiosk, nobody ever sits at it but it’s at a really good bit for Bee to run around. I’ll come and get you once I get the ice cream”

You nodded and made your way round to the bench Poe had mentioned. Like he said, the area was quiet; there was one woman with a dog that you’d seen earlier on, BeeBee and her dog had sniffed one another when you'd walked passed her just after walking into the park. You took the ball you’d lifted before leaving the house out of your pocket and threw it for the little dog. He happily chased after it, always bringing it back. He set it down for a second to talk to the woman who was stood at the other side of the grass, her dog spotted it’s opportunity and grabbed it. The woman chased after her dog and eventually got the ball back. She walked over to the bench and stood far enough away from where you were, but close enough to lay the ball down.

“Sorry about that, he’s terrible for stealing from other dogs”

You chuckled “It’s not a problem, it’s this ones fault for trying to be too sociable”

She smiled “Your dog is so cute!”

“He is cute, but sadly he’s not mine. I have to give him back”

“Ah, he’s your boyfriends. The guy you were walking with earlier”

You could feel yourself blushing “Em, yeah he belongs to him, but he’s not my boyfriend. Just a friend and lockdown house mate”

“Oh, I’m sorry I just assumed” she replied “You guys looked liked a super cute couple when I spotted you earlier”

“It’s fine” you replied with a shrug.

You wished he was your boyfriend, you’d had a crush on the man since the first day you met him. The two of you had clicked right away when Ben had introduced you. Him and Poe had been classmates that didn’t keep in touch, you vaguely remembered seeing Poe at your brothers birthday parties when you were kids but nobody paid you much attention back then because they were all older and you were the annoying little sister of their friend. Poe and Ben had met back up again when Ben became a client of Poe’s work. You were introduced to Poe when Ben and Rey got engaged and had a party. You’d later found out you had a mutual friend in Finn and the 3 of you started to hang out. You’d known Finn since high school, you never went to the same school but you both had a part time job at a local café. Finding out Poe was Finn’s best friend and roommate made you re-connect with Finn. You’d kept in touch on social media for years but didn’t really spend a lot of time together so through Poe that all changed. When you’d introduced Finn and Rose it had been love at first sight. The 4 of you could be found hanging out on a regular basis; everyone always assumed it was a double date because of how close you and Poe were. He was a touchy, feely guy. He would often be found with his arm round your shoulders, his hand on your back when you were walking anywhere with him. You loved it but also hated it because you always wanted more. The reason you had never mentioned anything was because you were scared he wouldn’t feel the same and you didn’t want such a good friendship to fall apart if you told him and made things awkward. Rose knew, but she promised she wouldn't tell Poe.

BeeBee and the other dog went back to playing together and the woman wandered back to where she had originally been stood. You took a few photos on your phone and uploaded them to social media. Everyone needed a boost during the weird times you were in and you thought there was no better way to cheer people up than photos of cute dogs. After what felt like hours, Poe finally came to join you. He handed you a small tub of ice cream and a slushie.

“Man are they busy” he said, flopping down next to you on the bench “Did Bee behave?”

“He did, that dog he’s playing with stole his ball but they’re on friendly terms now”

“That’s good news” Poe chuckled

The two of you sat and enjoyed your ice creams, the weather and one another’s company. When you were ready to head back home Poe phoned Finn, the local takeaways were open for delivery and Poe decided it was too nice a night for anyone to be cooking. The evening was spent eating as much pizza as you could and watching videos on YouTube. Finn was really into the ones exploring abandoned places and you all fell down a rabbit hole of watching video after video. Rose fell asleep first, and you soon followed. Eventually leaning over and falling onto Poe’s shoulder. Poe and Finn smiled at one another. You had all survived a crazy week, you’d had to adapt to an all new way of life and there had been some hiccups but overall you’d all coped. You were thankfully all healthy, and you had good company and were surrounded by your best friends. Life was far from perfect but both of them knew that things could be a lot worse, and that worldwide things would get worse before they improved.

So once again please let me know what you thought, I want to get better as a writer and I can only do that with your help. Thank you for all of the kind comments one the last part, they really made me smile! <3

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x f!reader #tw: covid 19 #tw: covid #poe dameron x solo!reader

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keeptheotherone · 3 years

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Mecation: Day 1

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages.

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life.

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college.

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with.

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential!

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day.

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease.

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian.

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :)

#ktoo travels #covid coping #mental health #about ktoo #ktoo nurses #herself

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princegeorgeofwales · 4 years

Text

7 things we learnt from Kate Middleton's revealing motherhood podcast with Giovanna Fletcher

The Duchess of Cambridge preferred labour to pregnancy

"I got very bad morning sickness. I'm not the happiest of pregnant people. Lots of people have it far, far worse. It was definitely a challenge. Not just for me, but also for your loved ones around you and I think that's the thing - being pregnant and having a newborn baby and things like that, impacts everybody in the family. William didn't feel he could do much to help and it's hard to see you're suffering without actually being able to do anything about it."

"[It was] utterly rotten. I was really sick. I wasn't eating the things I should be eating and yet the body was still able to take all the goodness from my body and to grow new life, which I think is fascinating." Kate admitted that because of her difficult pregnancies, she actually preferred being in labour. "Because it had been so bad during pregnancy, I actually really quite liked labour… Because actually it was an event that I knew there was going to be an ending to! But I know some people have really, really difficult times, so it's not for everybody. No pregnancy is the same, no birth is the same."

The Duchess of Cambridge used hypnobirthing

Like Giovanna and other famous mums, Kate tried hypnobirthing too. When asked, "Am I right in thinking you did Hypnobirthing?" the Duchess replied: "Yes! Actually it was through hyperemesis that I really realised the power of the mind over the body because I really had to try everything and everything to try and help me through it. There are levels of it. I'm not going to say that William was standing there chanting sweet nothings at me! He definitely wasn't, [laughing] I didn't even ask him about it, but it was just something I wanted to do for myself. I saw the power of it, really, the meditation and the deep breathing and things like that that they teach you in hypnobirthing when I was really sick and actually I realised that this was something that I could take control of, I suppose, during labour. It was hugely powerful."

Standing outside the Lindo Wing was 'terrifying'

With all three of her children, the Duchess presented her newborn babies to press and to the world as she posed outside the Lindo Wing of St Mary's Hospital in Paddington, London. Admittedly, Kate revealed it was a "terrifying" experience. "What was it like knowing that so many people were outside, after you've given birth and you're in your little cocoon with your new family?" asked Giovanna.

"Yeah, slightly terrifying, slightly terrifying, I'm not going to lie (laughter)," said Kate. "Everyone had been so supportive and both William and I were really conscious that this was something that everyone was excited about and you know we're hugely grateful for the support that the public had shown us, and actually for us to be able to share that joy and appreciation with the public, I felt was really important. But equally it was coupled with a newborn baby, and inexperienced parents, and the uncertainty of what that held, so there were all sorts of mixed emotions."

Of the moment she held George for the first time, Kate, who didn't know the sex of her baby, revealed: "Amazing, amazing. It is extraordinary as I've said. How can the human body do that? It is utterly extraordinary, actually. And he was very sweet. And also sort of relieved that he was a happy, healthy boy."

Prince William and Kate struggled as new parents

The Duchess was very open in how she and husband William fared with their first baby. When Giovanna asked, "How many hours after giving birth did you come out?" Kate recalled: "I… Oh my gosh, I can't remember. Everything goes in a bit of a blur. I think, yeah I did stay in hospital overnight, I remember it was one of the hottest days and night with huge thunderstorms so I didn't get a huge amount of sleep, but George did which was really great.

"I was keen to get home because, for me, being in hospital, I had all the memories of being in hospital because of being sick so it wasn't a place I wanted to hang around in. So, I was really desperate to get home and get back to normality. But I think you think, particularly with your firstborn baby, you think everything is going to go back to how it was. I totally underestimated the impact and the change it had on us from that moment really and I think, unless you've got children, you don't realise. No amount of planning and preparation can get you ready for that moment."

Mum-of-three Giovanna mused: "When you leave hospital and get home [after giving birth], I remember that eerie silence…" to which Kate revealed: "It wasn't that quiet in our household! William was like, 'oh my gosh, is this what parenting is going to be like?' No, it took us a bit of time to get ourselves settled and going again, but that's the beauty I suppose of having a newborn baby. You are pulled to your toughest and most unknown places really that you hadn't necessarily even have thought about before."

The Duchess of Cambridge on mum guilt

When asked whether she struggles with mum guilt, Kate replied: "Yes absolutely – and anyone who doesn't as a mother is actually lying! Yep – all the time, yep – and you know even this morning, coming to the nursery visit here – George and Charlotte were like 'Mummy how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?' But no it's a constant challenge – you hear it time and time again from mums, even mums who aren't necessarily working and aren't pulled in the directions of having to juggle work life and family life… and always sort of questioning your own decisions and your own judgements and things like that, and I think that starts from the moment you have a baby!

"Also I feel huge responsibility because what I've learnt over the last few years is so fascinating and I definitely would have done things differently, even during my pregnancy, than I would have done now... Because you know - the science - and I found that fascinating to see the wellbeing of the mother – not just physically, you know there's so much information about making sure you exercise and making sure you have a healthy diet and things like that, which yes is definitely important. But the emotional wellbeing of the mother directly impacts the baby that you're growing."

The one piece of advice the Duchess of Cambridge would give her younger self

"If you could write a letter to anyone about motherhood, who would it be to and what would you say," asked Giovanna. "Can I write back to myself? Is that really weird? I think I'd have liked to have written to myself at the beginning of my pregnancy with my first child because I think through I have experienced – not only as a mother but also what I've learned on my journey through, digging deeper into the early years landscape – I've learned a huge amount but I'd really love to go back and tell myself at the beginning of pregnancy, right at the start what things I feel now really matter in terms of being a parent but also what really matters to the children and my children now.

"It's the simple things that really make a difference. It's spending quality time with your children. It's not whether you've done every single drop off and every single pick up but actually it's those quality moments you spend with your child when you're properly listening to them, properly understanding what they feel, and actually when things are going wrong, actually really taking time to think, 'how as a mother am I feeling? Am I actually making this worse for my child because actually this has brought up all sorts of things that I feel rather than just focusing on them and how they might be reacting or responding to certain situations?' That would be another piece of advice I would like to give myself back then.

"Someone did ask me the other day, what would you want your children to remember about their childhood? And I thought that was a really good question because actually if you really think about that, is it that I'm sitting down trying to do their maths and spelling homework over the weekend? Or is it the fact that we've gone out and lit a bonfire and sat around trying to cook sausages that hasn't worked because it's too wet? That's what I would want them to remember, those moments with me as a mother, but also the family going to the beach, getting soaking wet, filling our boots full of water, those are what I would want them to remember. Not a stressful household where you're trying to do everything and not really succeeding at one thing."

The Duchess of Cambridge's 5 Big Questions Survey

On her survey on early childhood, Kate said: "Hopefully it's the first small step into looking at prevention and it's not just about happy, healthy children. This is actually for lifelong consequences and outcomes. I was looking at one of the stats. I think there is £17 billion estimated in England and Wales alone that is spent on late intervention and it's crazy - not only because it's an economic cost but because there is a huge social cost to our communities and our societies. So that's really why I'm doing this. It's going to take a long time – I'm talking about a generational change - but hopefully this is the first small step: to start a conversation around the importance of Early Childhood development."

- Hello Magazine

#Duchess of Cambridge #Kate Middleton #Prince William #Prince George #Princess Charlotte #Prince Louis #2020 #February 2020 #Giovanna Fletcher #Happy mum happy baby #about george

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