hey ofmd fandom. have a writing warmup that turned out alright Jim/Oluwande post s1 stuff for a "fear" prompt. hope u like <3

Finding their way back to the ship was no relief, even when they were all allowed on board again—all but Stede. Which meant that most of the other outcasts had stuck to him, but… he had been unable to. Not with Jim stuck there.

They were, perhaps, the scariest part of all this. Now, this should not have been a surprise: Jim’s homicidal potential had been long established, and their mere presence should, by all means, have been enough to make anyone uneasy. But of course, they were also his partner, the tender wolf kissing his cheekbones and stroking his neck where the pulse would always jump into disarray. Oluwande trusted them to be on his side, as much as he trusted their competence with a knife. He had seen it first hand many times—ghost-quiet, a spirit made of sharp wind. They would have that steely stability of absolute focus in the way they moved that reminded him of a buzzard. It had been hot to look at, many times. One cannot overstate the pull of attraction of a very dangerous creature that knows what it is that they are doing, and are oh-so-good at it.

Or so you would think.

In this new context, Jim was in that state of keen battlefield awareness, perpetually. The enticement was gone; instead, Oluwande felt a mixture of sadness and dread, topped with the occasional spikes of terror that had him reevaluate his ability to swim. Jim looked tired. A few thin lines of stress had been permanently folded into the sides of their eyes. Another ran up the space between their eyebrows. Their jaw had a constant tension in it, like the next punch could hit at any point.

(To be fair to them, they had been hiding it exceptionally well. The only reason that Olu had noticed at all, was because he spent such an inordinate amount of time and energy paying attention to them.)

The implications were frightening.

For the directors cut, Harbor. A personal favorite of mine. Thanks Coda! 😁

TALEEEEEEE 🥳🥳🥳 Thank you so much for this, you are the sweetest, I had no idea you loved Harbor so much, that warms my heart!! 🥰🥰 I shall put some bullet points below the cut, I hope you like them!! ❤️

Before I get into the fic: I like the title of this one!! I usually like my titles to have more than one meaning & that's definitely true of this one!! The whole showdown occurs at an actual harbor, of course, (I think I may have gotten that for the promo for 6.22 but I'm not sure??) BUT it also refers to the fact that Liz was trying to BE a harbor for Red by sheltering & protecting him from McMahon.

Ah yes, I liked the simplicity of the first line here & the fact that I could easily carry it through the rest of the fic as the general theme.

I also remember how long I had to google search before I figured out how to spell McMahon's name & I STILL had to copy & paste it bc I don't think it sounds at all how it's spelled & my brain couldn't handle it LOL

Ahhhhh, I loved including that little bit in the ammunition room at the Post Office, I had a very specific mental image for that: Liz loading a shot gun like a bad-ass & Red watching her & doing the Great Tongue Reaction LOL

I loved making McMahon just... a giant bitch, like comic-book-villain level awful & tbh? Don't regret it lmfao

Oooooh, I remembering loving the phrase "sharpening her vision and making her trigger finger itch." I just thought that was so visceral & intense.

I loved detailing Liz's protectiveness over Red in her physical actions & harried thoughts, it was fun to build that up along with the tension.

I liked writing the verbal sparring between Liz & McMahon, while keeping Liz very calm & determined bc there's simply no canon way she will allow harm to befall Red & that was the whole point of this fic.

And I liked the parallel of Liz having to shoot ANOTHER Attorney General - McMahon AND Tom Connolly - both times of pure protective instinct for Red cause 😏😏😏 yes

And I just love the “You really are a stupid bitch, aren’t you?” line. I always cackle when I read that, it feels like Liz reached across the distance between them & bitch-slapped her in the face ahahahaha

I loved that Liz's love confession is the thing to propel Red into speaking his first line, which is of course Lizzie's name, & he of course urges her not to shoot someone to save him again. I wanted that sacrificial aspect of their relationship to be front & center.

And the “I killed the first one for him too.” seemed like the perfect "OOOOOOOOOO" moment before Liz shoots McMahon & I just liked how business-like it all is, how Liz has absolutely no hesitation about killing whoever is trying to destroy Red bc tbh? That's canon.

And I loved bringing back the opening line right before the making out starts, I liked that all the emotion just has them barreling to that point & let's be honest, if Red & Liz aren't barreling towards making out, is it really a fic of mine? lmfaooo

Also apparently I have a thing for Red's reaction to Liz planting one on him being a surprised gasp against her lips bc I think I've written that in basically every single one of my fics lmfao #noregrets

(And oooooooh I forgot about that lion line, oooooooh, yep, that still seems very "Red" to me lol, I like it)

But honestly, the make-out scene was so. fun. to. write. I remember very specifically wanting to include Liz getting so carried away that she forgets Red is handcuffed & he has to urge her to uncuff him so he can participate ahahaha plus I liked the addition of the red marks on his wrists from where he was straining against them bc he wanted to touch her 😏😏😏

And oooooh, the line about them being by the harbor & her wanting to drown in him, I remember that coming surprisingly naturally & being happy it worked out so nicely with the setting LOL

And oh god, I have such a thing for Liz parroting back Red's canon lines of devotion to prove her own, I just love that cauSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY GREAT FULL CIRCLE MOMENT IN THE SHOW BUT WHATEVER I'M NOT BITTER IT'S FINE

And Red finally forgiving her for turning him in bc she saved his life felt... right, just natural & neat & tidy, plus I wanted that animosity resolved between them to give the story a nice ending.

Speaking of endings, here's some actual BTS info: I remember struggling over how to end this. I had a couple different scenarios in mind & it took a long time to decide on one. I think the first draft had Dembe arriving to whisk them away into hiding & the second draft had Papa Coops & the Justice League arriving to arrest them, but ultimately I didn't like either of those & I decided to leave it more open-ended. That's why I included that paragraph of Liz thinking 'maybe Cooper will arrest them or maybe they'll fly away but it doesn't matter bc they're together.'

I loved throwing the beginning line in there at the end as well!! I love symmetry, so I always attempt to draw a line through the whole fic to create a satisfying ending that ties back to the beginning or the title!! I get such satisfaction out of that whenever I accomplish it!!

Welp, there you go, my friend, I hope there was something mildly interesting in here & not just me ranting about how much I like writing Red & Liz making out!! 😂😂 Regardless, I hope you liked this, thank you so much for asking for it, & much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

ok so these are all for Neo since you answered some of them for the other boys (unless you want to answer the new ones for them too)

What’s his favourite sleeping position

Would he let me braid/pull on his hair

What is his favourite accessory

What memes would he send in a group chat

What pick up line would he use/ how would he go about winning someone’s affection

What’s his love language

Fav colour/animal/flower

What does he do to relax

And any fun facts you feel like sharing

I'll answer for Neophus only

1. These two are his favs

2. Yes BUT only if you are his s/o. If you ain't his s/o, Touch his long ass hair and he'll slap the living hell out off you. Ok but maybe before he does that, his servants will scold you and warn you to never touch their master's hair again.

3. Gloves, long ones.

These are his main favs.

- fingerless lace gloves (when wearing Gym uniform)

- fingerless latex gloves (when wearing the scarabia dorm uniform)

- latex gloves (when he's wearing whatever the fuck he's wearing "here")

- leather gloves (same as the third one)

he never wear the other one, it's either on his left or right arm. Idk he just likes how it looks when he's wearing only one lmao.

4. He wouldn't send memes tbh but if ever he does, this is something he would send 💀

5. (Since he likes hand holding with his darling) "oh my, your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you" (YES I SEARCHED THIS ON GOOGLE LMFAO)

6. Physical affirmation, He likes physical affection. Once he became your boyfriend, he'll be quite clingy, Holding your hands, wrapping his arms around your waist, he would also loop your arm around his arm.

7. - turquoise, orange, beige and gold

- peacocks and dogs

- Gardenia, Roses and Blue enhanced Succulents

8. he soaks in the bathtub with a lavender scent along with putting a facial mask on his face.

9. Fun facts

- him and Cleophus did ballet back then so he's flexible.

- he hates ginger where he barfs when he eats it, and here are some things that happened because of ginger

• one time he was sick, Cleophus knows a ginger herbal medicine juice that can cure a fever within 2-3 hours so their mother asked him to brew his brother that medicine juice. Neophus refuses to drink it but their mother pushed him to drink it. Well, it didn't end up well, you know what happened 🤢.

• one time he and Cleophus fought with getting a pet. Their father said that they will only adopt one pet. Cleophus wants a tiger, Neophus wants a dog so obviously, they had a disagreement. Because Neophus is the favorite, their parents now started planning on adopting a dog so it made Cleophus angry. Cleophus asked the servants that he will be the one to make Neophus a snack, he ended up putting lots of ginger inside the pastry which Neophus ate after it was served to him. You know what happened again "🤢". But Their parents adopted both tiger and dog tho because cleophus won't stop whining

- when he and his brother fight, they kinda just grab whatever is near them and use it against the other (NOT KNIVES, GUNS, DANGEROUS WEAPONS THO)

• their family were playing golf one time so obviously they are all holding golf clubs, the two of them fought and ended up hitting each other hard on the shin (lmfao😭💀).

- he has a golden retriever dog named Goldie.

Walking into a party, what’s the first thing you look for? someone I know lmfao also a toilet Who was the last person you ate with? my mom, sister and niece

What do you do when you’ve had a bad day? depends Kiss on the first date? maybe Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? yes Are you too shy to tell people when you’re developing feelings for them? wouldn’t say so If you could pack up and leave to move away, would you? yeah Do you wish you were with someone right now? I wish my dad was already home and everybody else OUT or just leave me alone, I wouldn’t mind my gf’s company much either How many more people do you think you’ll kiss before you die? nobody else unless CPR will count if I will ever need it Do you like messing with people when they’re drunk? nothing rude/dangerous  Whats a song you absolutely hate? Gangnam style for example Your opinions on bi people? most of them end up in heterosexual relationships anyway because it’s easier  Song playing right now? Melanie Martinez songs Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? my mom and sister

What color dominates your wardrobe? dunno

Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? color, black and white or sepia only if they’re really old - elseway they usually remind me of death What color is your house? What about car? white What color “emotion” are you feeling right now? I’m feeling blue? Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? yep, even this year Do you own anything that is rainbow-colored? like one item that I don’t even use anymore Do you enjoy coloring? not really

If you had the chance to get the cast of any canceled tv show back together to make one “reunion” season, would you? Or do you think it’s better remembering it the way it was? If so, what show would you choose? BUFFY!

Do you find music helps you sleep? Which type of music do you sleep to? recently it helps me survive until I feel sleepy enough to not overthink/cry/get anxiety attacks

Would you try to hold back your tears if you were attending a funeral? I didn’t cry but I believe it depends on who’s funeral it is

If you could be one age forever, how old would you be? I just want to be a kid

Do you have a particular shoe brand you favor over others? nah

If you had the choice, what would your final words be? telling my loved ones that I love them

What is one thing you always wanted as a child, but never received? big stuffed black panther and a treehouse mostly

What social situations tend to make you most nervous?  all of them?...

What is one medical myth you’re tired of hearing? for an example that severe illnesses are visible all the damn time

Do you like making up nicknames for people? love, they’re catchy and other ppl start to use them to :D

Delete a year of your life, or start over in a new town? deleting one year wouldn’t help unless it was a year I was born like in Shrek movie...

What do you call your grand-parents? babcia 

What’s your favorite song by Taylor Swift? Why is that your favorite? the only one I liked was Bad blood mostly because of the music video

What do you think about your hair right now? ugh...

Do you do your homework at the last minute? oh well...

Would you rather get a new brother or sister? new as in a way of replacement or another?

Have you ever used a Polaroid camera? I wanna buy one someday

What is your favorite thing to do online? lots 

Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? that’s stupid

Would you rather watch Family Guy or South Park? Simpsons

Does it bother you when people wear pajamas out? I’d do that myself :3

Have you ever tried online dating? How did it go? I tried and every single “relationship” failed, not that there were many of them, I met plenty of people that I wish I didn’t tho

Who was the last person you took a picture with? my sister and niece but shadows only 

Do your parents allow smoking in your house? nooo

Is your last name shorter than your first name? longer

Last two numbers in your phone number? personal

Who’s in your house? my fam just went to the garden and I have a moment of silence, finally

What magazine(s) do you look at the most? interior design

Are you paranoid? kind of

What item should never be shared? toothbrush, bloody period pad, underwear, towel, used piece of toilet paper, gum that someone already had in their mouth etc.

Do you sleep with a fan on? I don’t even own a fan

How many plants are in your home? too many

Do you ever type “kik” instead of “lol”? it never happened :o

Do you know how to play chess? forgot

Are you picky? about some stuff, sure

How tall is the person you like?  tall, much taller than me

Are you excited for winter? if I was then only for Christmas or New year eventually my birthday but it’s doubtful

If it was free and it would work perfectly, would you get plastic surgery? but it ain’t safe and painless etc.

Have you ever been called prince or princess? I dislike that

Do you like your body? pfft

What do you hear right now? dog barking

Last thing you wrote your name on? documents 

Where did you get the pants you’re wearing right now? I don’t even remember anymore

When is the next time you will see your grandma? ...

What is it tomorrow? Sunday

Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? not face to face, I heard some funny names during mass or my mom told me about them and I saw some online or in movie credits Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? to be unique If you have a problem with someone, will you confront them? maybe

Are you more likely to be called a hard worker or lazy? lazy What is your sense of humor like? quite dark, sarcastic, dry, witty, puns, daddy jokes, memes Have you ever had a dream in black and white? I don’t recall What about a dream with no sound? it’s possible What types of people do you tend to avoid? ... all of them? What is one personality trait a potential friend must have? understanding and similar sense of humor Have you ever been in a helicopter? no What color car would you like to have? DeLorean is grey but if I had a jeep then yellow, red, gree, black or silver

What is your favorite mode of travelling? on foot or train, definitely not plane Are your favorite characters often what the majority like? I hardly ever like the main character so I doubt it but who knows? Is it dark outside right now? not yet Do you get scared when it’s a full moon? when I’m outside it’s bothering If you travel anywhere, do you always buy souvenirs for people? often Are you waiting on anyone coming home right now? YES Do you like the way your voice sounds? nope Can you see the stars from your house? not currently but at night - if it’s not cloudy - yup How would you react if your favorite band made a song with your first name as its title? awesome! unless it was real bad Are you considered an awkward person? it seems Is there a light on in the room you’re in? too bright for that  What day were you born on? Saturday, my mom said I shouldn’t be lazy then but I responded with - I was half an hour late for Friday Do you like having a favorite everything or do you enjoy keeping open? I often say I have a lot of favorites of things as I have a hard time choosing just one for most of them

How often do you feel pressured to be better than or different than you are? For example, how often do you feel pressured to be skinner, tanner, prettier, etc? Keep in mind that pressure doesn’t always have to come from others; In fact, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. ugh...

Would you rather it snow for three days or rain for a week? rain for a week if it didn’t cause the flood 

Have you ever changed the look of a survey because you didn’t like the way it was presented? This can even include adding or deleting numbers to the questions. many times

Does it bother you when surveys ask questions that Google could answer? I agree

When is the last time you had a cell phone that wasn’t a smartphone, if ever? 3 years ago

Do you know anyone who can speak more than 5 languages fluently? noooo

Would you rather write an essay on global warming or UFOs? UFO

Do you like sailing? When was the last time you went, if at all? never been and don’t wanna Favourite Pokemon? Mimikyu and Pikachu Do you or have you done martial arts? Which type? karate, self defence

Favorite animal. raccoon

Any turn ons? personal

3 most important people in your life right now? my dad, my gf and my mom

Do you respond to texts quickly? depends

Who was the last person you called? dad

Winter or summer? summer

What is the secret to a happy life? good health, enough money, peace and quiet, either no people around or only good ones, no worries/problems

What are some phrases/words you say often? MAYBE

What are some of your greatest fears? personal

Spicy food:Like or dislike? my stomach doesn’t like spicy food

Do you like to travel? nope

Do you like rain? yup

Would you rather visit the past or the future? future to see if it’s worth living for - past if not to enjoy once more what I lost

How often do you go to parties?  never?...

Do you think you’re ambitious? I know I’m not

What makes you nervous? what doesn’t?...

First mobile phone? grey Siemens

Do you like sharing? sharing what?

What was the last picture you took with your phone? single tiny cloud

If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? ME

Are you more creative or logical? why can’t I be both?

Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I don’t know anymore

When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? sleeping well and having a good dream?

What is the best news you could hear right now? that I have no allergies

[REDACTED] be complaining reg. the reactions of having "placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida" while having the gall of "It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter" & "Who cares? It’s fictional geography, you idiots." Feels a bit like failing World-Building 101. I mean, Red Grave based on London would also be a callback to Dante's early concept of being a Brit.

Someone already sent me the whole post of hers that I’m pretty sure you’re referring to lmao. I’m in a particularly cunty but pleasant mood rn, and analysis is kind of my thing, so lets’s break it down, shall we?

Maybe someone can send this her way and… learn that tiny little brain of hers a thing. 😉

It’s fictional geography called world building, you idiots Karen after the cut:

‘I love how a number of shitheels have screeched amongst themselves on this hellsite about how I had placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida or somewhere around the Gulf US states (re: the fanfic & project link in my header), whining that it should’ve been in Europe, namely Italy.’

An admission to stalking profiles is not exactly the best way to start a self-righteous rant or advertise your… magnum opus, but go off, I guess.

‘Not only that, but they whined about “plotholes and inconsistencies” without elaborating on what the latter are. The asshole who made the rant was annoyed when I used a poem as a spell in the story (“if I heard that, I’d turn off my PS4.”), but I’m sure she didn’t bitch about the cutscene before the last Agnus boss fight in DMC4.’

Like the movie The Room (2003), it’s just easier to say “all of it” is bad because “all of it” contains plotholes and is inconsistent in tone, has terrible half-baked ideas and plot threads that remain unresolved and/or do nothing to further the plot, is rife with poor + inconsistent characterization, has a lack of any knowledge how the medium it exists in is made, and in general makes me wonder how much pottery enamel you’ve been huffing to think any of this was a good idea. Howeverrrr, in contrast to you, Tommy Wiseau is kind of odd and weirdly charming both in general and about his terrible movie — he’s found glory and success in its terribleness. You, in contrast, remain a miserable cunt with delusions of grandeur.

Dante and Agnus’ Shakespeare bit is actually a pretty well known trope called Ham-to-Ham Combat. Dante and Agnus are both ridiculous Large Hams in DMC4, and when two Large Hams meet, in general, they are likely gonna try to ‘out-over dramatic’ each other. This can lead to a scene becoming either really funny or really corny (or both) really fast. If things go too far — and they do, in this case — the scene can become a Hormel Event Horizon.

‘…but they LOVE the plotholes & inconsistencies if Capcom makes the latter, and writes a terrible story! And Crapcom’s canon for DMC is as straight as a paperclip or a dog’s hind leg. Hypocritical pricks.’

Subjective opinion is not, and never will be, objective fact. People are, as of when I checked again in the last ~5 minutes or so, absolutely able to enjoy whatever media they want regardless of what the general consensus on the quality of that media is.

As an example, I enjoy The Room (2003) despite its terribleness and it never fails to make me laugh, while your magnum opus makes me want to huff pottery enamel so the pain will stop despite you thinking it is the work of an idiot savant.

‘They were also mad that I wrote Dante as a wiseguy who is a little more low-key about it due to the circumstances— instead of being a pathetic manchild airhead that tries too hard.’

You didn’t write Dante.

You wrote Reboot!Donte — a fucking terribly out of character version of him, at that.

‘I was primarily concerned about moving the story along. I didn’t care about where a fictional island is supposed to go.’

You literally had one (1) job, Karen.

‘…Meanwhile, not a single character in DMC4 had an Italian accent, so uh, why should I give a flying fuck where I put it?’

Haven’t you been like… shitting on the DMC staff… for terrible writing… this enti— You know what? You’re obvs way too dumb to notice that contradiction, so I’ll let it slide.

Just… a word of advice, if I may? Don’t ever watch dub TV shows. That last brain cell would fuckin’ just burst all over your carpet.

(Actually, don’t watch subtitled shows either. An extremely popular anime that was set in Italy just wrapped and all the characters — le gasp! — spoke fucking Japanese. You would shit.)

‘I wasn’t paid to write any of what I wrote, but be my guest & send a PM if you want to throw money at me. By all means, do that.’

Oh, thank fuck, because they would have been ripped off, big time.

[ btw, you sound p. jealous of people that write/do creative work/commissions for ko-fi/payment tho. Not a good look tbbh. If it’s any consolation, though, I don’t get paid for making fun of you and/or analyzing your dumb bullshit, either. :( ]

‘The pricks at Capcom didn’t even bother giving us a proper DMC4 and it was a half-assed game, with the latter half being hasty filler material. The “special edition” they coughed up in 2015 was just glorified overpriced DLC.’

Ya know, you gotta be pretty far up your own ass to think this much of your opinion. And I’m saying this as a person that’s pretty far up her own ass like 85% of the time.

‘And another thing, Redgrave City in DMC5 seems to be in England, yet no survivors speak with English accents or slang/dialects.’

Pretty sure no survivors had speaking roles.

If you played the game you’d know this.

‘Meanwhile, Dante and Vergil had lived there when they were kids (until age 8), but they both have ordinary American or Canadian accents. Furthermore, how did the twins make it to the USA or Canada? According to the little booklet in the DMC1 game case, Dante’s office is in modern America.’

You know that invoking the imagery of a specific place without naming your location is normal and standard practice, right? Overwatch even does this (For Ex: Byōdō-in (平等院), Uji, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan is the inspiration for Hanamura, Château de Duingt, Duingt, France for Château Guillard, etc.)

Furthermore, you know the original DMC was a rejected first draft of Resident Evil 4, right? This is what retcon is for. You at least know what retcon is, right?

‘…That information isn’t very important, but I’m bringing it up to illustrate a point that being a fucking pedant about geography in a fantasy game is idiotic, even if the setting is akin to modern Earth.’

So is freaking the fuck out and sending death threats over a fantasy game but you didn’t let that stop you either lmfao.

It’s actually super important to establish your scenery and the way your world operates, especially in a written work in which readers are dependent on your vision and your descriptions, and if you were a decent writer, you’d know this.

‘It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter.’

YOU HAD ONE (1) JOB, KAREN.

‘What US states are the Arklay Mountains located in?’

General description puts them in the U.S. Midwest. Raccoon City itself is stated to have a population of ~100,000 at the time of outbreak, and the only city in the Midwest that matches that population in 1998 is Springfield, Missouri, with a pop. of ~110,000.

Springfield is on the Springfield Plateau of the Ozarks region of SW Missouri. So they’re part of the Ozark Mountains.

This all took less than ~3 minutes to google, btw.

‘Where is “Zanzibar Land?”’

I actually just wrote a comprehensive answer to an ask a few weeks ago about this. It’s actually stated to be in Tselinoyarsk (Целиноярск), the (fictional) area of the former USSR in which Big Boss carried out the Virtuous Mission/Operation Snake Eater in 1964. Tselinoyarsk itself is heavily implied to consist of parts of Kyrgyzstan and/or Tajikistan. If you played MGS3 you’d know how important the setting and the varied environments/climates are to the game mechan-

oh yeah wait you believe in segregation of story and gameplay mechanics. I forget you’re completely tone deaf sometimes lmao.

How far is ‘Salem’s Lot or Derry from Bangor? Who cares?’

Stephen King does, quite a bit. He even has a map on his website of ‘his’ fictional version of Maine:

My disappointment is immeasurable, Karen.

501

Do you do careless things like spill nail polish on your nightstand? I definitely sound like the type to end up doing that. Most of the time I’m half careless and just half downright clumsy. How are you today? I’m doing...okay. The first week of school has been nice to me, but the weather hasn’t - we’ve had three off days so far due to class suspensions. Today’s one of those days so I actually have time to take up a survey or two, then I’ll go back to my readings for my anthropology and history classes. When someone messages you and you know it's going to be rude, do you ignore it and not read it, or do you read it and reply? Depends on my mood. If I’m already anxious as it is, I probably wouldn’t want to open it for a few minutes/hours. If I’m feeling bitchy then I’d go ahead and reply. Do you find online drama stressful? It is. I like the memes that come out of the especially big dramas, but I stay out of them. How stressful is your life? It’s not very stressful right now, but that’s only because classes for the semester have just started. Get back to me and ask the same question in the middle of it lol.

Do you like your hair better curly or straight? In the middle. Wavy. I look disgusting with straight hair, and curly is an unnatural look for me. What's your favorite vegetable? Broccoli, asparagus, spinach, and bell peppers. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, what is it? (Msg me if u want to watch mine!) I have a channel but only so that YouTube can customize my homepage according to my interests. What song best describes your life? This has always been one of my least favorite survey questions because there’s never any song accurate enough to describe my life at the moment :/ There are songs I like listening to lately, but never any that are relatable. Would you ever post your most embarrassing moment story on youtube, or is that too embarrassing for you? I block off all my embarrassing moments from my head so that I forget them, so even if I had to do this I wouldn’t be able to. If you have a youtube channel, do you post more serious videos or fun? Are you keeping any secrets from your parents? A big secret running for five years now. I’m waiting until graduation to tell them. What are your favorite things to watch on youtube? I used to be just into vlogs but I’m all over the place now. List videos, Shane Dawson’s older stuff, PewDiePie, food video series (like Bon Appetit’s X Number of Ways to Cook A/An [insert food item here] or BuzzFeed’s Worth It), dog videos, conspiracy theory videos, BuzzFeed Unsolved, etc. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. Do you do yoga? I do not. What is something you have tried and hated? FRUITS.  Do you have regrets? Some small ones here and there but I hate the idea of dwelling/lingering on regrets. Are you a good person? I hope I’ve been. You’d have to ask my family and friends. Who do you look up to? I never really had any role models, but like someone I really respect is AJ Mendez, a former wrestler and you might know her cause I used to talk about her a lot in my older surveys. Do you do the right thing or the wrong thing more? I think it’s a balance. Are you rebellious? I used to be. I was an absolute HEADACHE as a teenager. How many tattoos do you have? None. What do you want to name your first child? Olivia for a girl. Not sure what main name I want for a boy but I want him to have Luis as one of his names, after my girlfriend’s dad. Are you mad at someone? Nope. What is this month's calendar picture? I don’t have a calendar with pictures. What is your last ex-boyfriend's or ex-girlfriend's name? The same one as my current girlfriend hahahaha Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? Mmm no actually! I recently got back in touch with Sofie and I couldn’t be happier :3 Our banter’s still the same after three years, so that’s really relieving for me. What color do you want your wedding dress to be? White. What is your favorite zoo animal? I don’t like zoos. Who were your favorite bands as a kid or teenager? Paramore, All Time Low, Sleeping with Sirens, We Are The In Crowd, Pierce the Veil, basically all the angsty tween bands lmfaooo. When I got a little older my music taste got considerably influenced by CM Punk’s, so I also started listening to bands like Against Me!, The Bouncing Souls, The Misfits, Rancid, H2O, Rise Against, Rage Against the Machine, etc. Do you use snapchat? Not anymore. I haven’t touched mine in a couple of years. How many months until your birthday? 8. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? It’s 8 in the morning, so pancakes sound perfect right now. Any other time of the day though I’d go for steak. What's your favorite ramen noodle flavor? Shoyu is my favorite variety of ramen. I don’t really dig instant ramen. What decade were you born in? 1990s. What is/was your favorite Homecoming Week day? Never had those. How do you feel when you read the Bible, if you read it? Encouraged? Angry? Exasperated, incredulous, disappointed, annoyed, bored. I just have very strong feelings about that book lol. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? You mean currently? Lols. Have you ever suffered from depression? Also currently. Have you ever seen an angel or a demon? I have not. I don’t believe in angels, and while I don’t 120% believe in demons, it’s a little fun and ~exhilarating to think about the possibility of their existence. What is something a lot of people like but you don't? Billie Eilish’s music. What color is your favorite pair of jeggings or skinny jeans? White. Do you own any bellbottoms? Nope. Do you own a dreamcatcher? Yes, I have a couple of dreamcatchers above my bed. What season's colors do you look best in? ...What? Have you ever done something incredibly stupid? Every day I do at least one incredibly stupid thing. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? Hahaha, sure. What is your favorite mystical creature? Not a fan of those. What do you want to be when you grow up? I wanna work in the field of public relations. While I have to make peace with the fact that it exponentially EXHAUSTS me socially, I do like the fact that I genuinely enjoy the nature of the job and everything else that comes with it. Are you truly happy, or are you only happy because you're doing something to distract yourself from your problems? Or are you just sad? You got me on the second guess, buddy. Have you ever lost something amazing because you held on to it too hard? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Is there a guy or girl you let slip away and you wish you hadn't? No. I didn’t let them ~slip away so now they’re still in my life. Do you ever wonder what could have been? Sure. What's an uplifting song you like to listen to? Looking Up or Grudges, both by Paramore. Paisleys or plaid? Plaid. I didn’t know what paisleys were so I Googled them and OMG, I hate that design so much lmfao. What's your vocal range? Not high nor impressive at all. I don’t sing.

answer 21 questions and tag the mutuals you’d like to know better!

tagged by @shinigamishockwave and @totobamis !! tysm both of u 🥰

nicknames: i love nicknames n i have a lot of them! people call me bun or bunbun a lot tho ! 🐰

zodiac sign: leo ofc 😌

height: 5’0”-5’1”, somewhere around there!

hogwarts house: idk i’m not a nerd 😌

the last thing i googled: plant symbolism, for, for oc names

favorite musicians: metric... mitski... mother mother... i only like artists that start with m apparently

song stuck in your head: it’s, it’s, bubblegum bitch, 😳

following: 826

followers: 1925 😌 i just blocked like a bunch of people tho LMFAO

do you get asks?: mostly just from my friends or when i do ask games! 😳

amount of sleep: usually around 7 hrs!

lucky number: all multiples of 6 but specifically 12 is lucky for me!

what you’re wearing: NOTHING CUTE RN UNFORTUNATELY... i’m just at home so i’m wearing a hoodie and leggings 😌

dream trip: IDK there are lots of places i’d be happy to go actually 😳 i’d wanna go somewhere that had like an art museum or nice architecture tho... and going w a friend would be sm fun!

instrument: bass guitar & piano, tho i’m very out of practise with both ✌️😔 adhd let me do things challenge

languages: english, some french and a BIT of latin but i’ve forgotten most of it

favorite songs: UHM pretty much anything by the artists i mentioned earlier! tho i’ve also been listening to marina a lot recently bc apparently i’m 13 again now 😌

random fact: i salt my pocky

aesthetic: i like lots of diff aesthetics but my main one is like soft pink n pastel stuff mostly! 🥰

i’m tagging UHHHH actually i’m too shy to tag anyone just do this if you wanna and say i tagged you 😌💞💞💞

Please just go off and rant about your OCs! I just love them all so much (even the ones that haven’t been introduced yet) and want to hear more about them!

I hope you’re prepared for what you’ve just unleashed~!!

JOCELYN was the start of this avalanche. When I first conjured her up, I had just a few points in mind: I wanted her to be colored (though I hadn’t decided yet what her ethnicity would actually be), I wanted her to be a ballerina, and I wanted her to not be drop-dead fucking gorgeous.

One of these things did not hold up. X’D

My original intent was to just make a short story -- 10 chapters or so -- in which she gets with Raphael and they bang. That was the literal long and short of it, which you can kind of see considering how rushed the first few chapters were.

I didn’t mean for them to get so into each other and fall in love. They did that entirely on their own. And, to be honest, it’s been an amazing experience; I’ve learned a great deal and feel like my creativity has gone through the roof.

Considering I’ve always been crazily creative anyway, that’s saying something.

Initially I picked Raph for this story because I thought (in my ignorance) that he would have the least amount of love and sex-related stories. Oh, how foolish I was, lol. But I was also thinking he would be the easiest to write just falling into bed with someone, and while that is something I commonly see, in my story he very much did not do that.

It was really weird. X’D

While I was writing The Dancer, I was also writing a then-untitled sister fic/epilogue (which I later titled The Dragon). It was quite a few years down the line, so I went ahead and conjured up some future scenes and events. Among them: Lisa.

This fic started in Mikey’s POV for a few reasons, one of them being that I really wanted to write something from his perspective. Lisa was introduced to my story this way, and I quickly took a liking to her and started development on her character. One of the things I did first was write pieces of the first chapter of The DJ, just to get the start’s setting down.

Then all I had to do was get The Dancer to a point where I could connect the two. At the time I was only around chapter 20, so...yeah, it took a while. XD

With Jocelyn, one of the key decisions I made was to make her very unlike Raphael -- she’s flirty, often relaxed, has an incredible love for ballet, has almost no family (just a mother; no dad, no siblings), and has such a crazy obsession over shoes that she literally picks out what shoes she wants to wear before picking her clothing for the day.

With Lisa, I went in the opposite direction: be just like Mikey. She has low intelligence and knows it, yet is brilliant in an unconventional way; her sense of humor is one of her biggest traits and she laughs to defuse situations and deal with problems; her genre is 100% hip hop in nearly all ways; and I made her athletic pretty much entirely so she’d be able to keep up with the master of movement, Mikey. (Say that five times, fast.)

It wasn’t until after I really got into writing Lisa that I noticed something interesting about my two fics: the couples both view each other in the same light.

Jocelyn and Raphael think one another is sexy and bad-ass.

Lisa and Mikey think one another is cool and cute.

This is, of course, not the rule -- Raph has thought Jo is super cute before, and Mikey finds Lisa sexy as hell, too -- but it is their primary mindsets. And it makes me wonder if my remaining two couples will have the same kind of viewpoints. I can’t say for sure yet because I haven’t gotten to the part in either story where they’re actually dating, but it’s fun to consider.

Then again, maybe for Leo and Donnie’s relationships they’ll have opposite viewpoints as their lovers do. It would definitely be an interesting twist.

Progress with The Dragon is going very slowly, which is understandable given I still have a lot of world-building in The DJ to do first, but I do very much love the story. In fact, so far if I were to rank my fics based on my own favorites, it would go Dancer > Dragon > DJ (I have literally nothing written on the final fic yet cause I still haven’t even finished designing the final girl, lol).

As much as I love Lisa (and I freaking do holy shit), I just don’t quite love her the best. This is actually kind of weird considering just how close to being a self-insert she is -- an unintentional self-insert, yes, but the parallels are definitely there.

For example, Lisa is a white girl of mixed white heritage (like me) with a particular pair of beauty marks on her face (same as me, just in different places), she has brunette hair (like me) and blue eyes (mine are actually green, but my parents’ and brother’s eyes are blue and I’ve always been jealous of that), she’s a huge gamer (just like me; she’s just better at competitive games), she dislikes swearing (I swear a lot now, but at her age I was much more sensitive about it), she has an older brother (I technically have two, but one’s very distant and the other was always close), she has a distaste for meat (I’m not vegetarian but as a whole I dislike meat) and some serious compassion for life (same), she loves piercings (I’d have more but I’m seriously forgetful), and she has incredible ears for music (can name almost any song within seconds -- just like me).

Oh yeah, and she’s a Mikey girl. ♥

And more pointedly, I named her mother after my sister (deceased) and her grandparents after my paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother.

I named Jocelyn based on the character of the same name from A Knight’s Tale (it just occurred to me that they have the same tits lmfao); after seeing the movie I kind of became enraptured with this character and her smart tongue and haughty attitude and incredible elegance -- not to mention I freaking loved her name.

Lisa, by comparison, I named based on one thing: the Mona Lisa. Yeah, that’s right, y’all -- I named her after a famous painting by an Italian Renaissance painter. Hurr hurr. XP But though I never mentioned this, Lisa’s mother, Brandy, cites that she named her ‘Lisa’ based on The Simpsons, as Lisa was Brandy’s favorite character.

This cute, incredibly good-hearted and brilliant young girl? Yeah, Brandy loves that character and was hoping Lisa would take after her.

Hmmm, what else...

Well, I had a completely different story set up for Cecilia at first. I’m honestly really glad things didn’t go the way I’d planned, and here’s why: Cecilia was supposed to catch a glimpse of Jo and Raph having sex one day (before meeting him) and go kind of nutso.

You see, at first she claimed diabetes but was not diabetic -- she was doing cocaine, and saying she had diabetes was her explanation for when Jo would catch her shooting up. And with the cocaine in her system, Cecilia’s mind went right to demons and witchcraft.

Terrified for her daughter’s immortal soul, the original plan was for Cecilia to attempt to burn them both to death. To everyone’s surprise, however, Jocelyn didn’t burn -- only Cecilia.

This was the original way Jo discovered she’d been taking on Raph’s mutagen. It’d made her fireproof.

As you can see, I’m super glad I didn’t stick to that, lol.

As for Lisa, me making her a cutter was a spur-of-the-moment decision during that scene where she examines her reflection in her undies. The boob thing, though? That was planned from day one -- because I wanted her to very much be Jo’s opposite, and this included general color palette, skills, likes, personality, and body type.

Jo: tall and willowy, grace incarnate, dark skin and blonde hair, super thick lips, generally thin but with a killer ass, rounded face, freckled, minimal piercings, crazy flirty and confident to no end.

Lisa: barely taller than average, kind of stocky and curvy, shapely lips, wide hips and heavy tits, shapely lips and face, zero freckles, tons of piercings, jittery and mousy but also immature and raucous.

By comparison, so far Mei and Pinky are just people. (Note: Mei’s faceclaim so far is Lucy Lui, but Pinky doesn’t have one just yet.) Mei’s also skinny, but that’s cause she’s 100% Chinese and as far as I can tell that’s just how they are. I’ve done a lot of googling and pretty much all young people I’ve found that way are, in a word, skinny. X’D

I’m leaning towards Pinky being the shortest of the girls, maybe in the 5′1″-5′3″ range, but I’m worried about making her too short. The concept is still very much up in the air, lol. This is also the character I once said I was considering being half Puerto Rican, and while I still like that I’m not sure it’ll stick. It might be more fun to make her like Indian or something.

We’ll see. (I’m very much open to suggestion about her, btw, if anyone has any thoughts...and I know it’s not much to go on yet but there’s a reason for that.)

And then there’s Cassie. My redheaded best friend of my best girl, Jo. I really don’t have much to say about her; I introduced her almost entirely to expand the world a bit and give Jocelyn more ties -- a girl like her would damn well have ties, y’know.

I don’t know what it is, but I have a really hard time writing her. She feels very bland, and while that was kind of the intent, it makes it really hard to get a feel for her. Only a few things remain strong when it comes to her: she’s kinda weirded out by the turtles, she supports Jocelyn completely, and she’s just as much of a ballet-enthusiast.

These girls have been friends for almost their literal entire lives. And I think part of the reason why I wrote them like this was out of jealousy -- I’ve never had that kind of a friendship. The oldest friend I can recall was Jenny, when I was five, and she was a BITCH.

I only have two memories of her anymore: 1, she used to invent games for us to play then change the rules on a dime so she’d always be the winner, and 2, I once tried to leave her home and she slammed the door on my fingers.

I sincerely hope she grew out of that, man.

Suffice to say we were not friends for very long. And since then I’ve seen a constant pattern: I can’t keep friends for longer than a few years, and not because I don’t want to.

Because something always happens. They move, I move, someone’s interests shift, we lose contact, a misunderstanding occurs, etc.

I wanted Jocelyn to have something better than a constantly-shifting sea of semi-friends. I wanted her to have best friends, and then THE best friend -- the one who will remain her best friend for the entirety of her life. The one who was there through all the biggest troubles and best celebrations, the one who will be there for all of the troubles and celebrations to come, and the one who knows her better than anyone else ever has (at least until a certain mutant comes into her life).

Lisa, on the other hand, is...me.

Her friendships flagged, drifted, dissolved, changed, and so on. The only constants in her life have been her family. And even then a good portion of her family has never been there, a fact that hurts her whenever she pauses to think about it.

She hurts, she yearns, and there are times she feels completely alone, even in a full room. She’s constantly scared no one understands her or cares about her, and she gets through this by laughing -- at others, at herself, at that one missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle that makes it kind of look like a penis, and so on.

Lisa has always had the support of her family while needing true understanding and affection. Jo has always had affection and the understanding of her closest friend while needing support.

It’s amazing to think about. And while there’s a lot here that I never put into my fics, these are threads and pieces of my characters that have either always been there in the background or have developed as I wrote them. Maybe I never said Lisa was terrified of being alone, but it was in my mind every time I wrote her.

And I just want to take this moment to thank Anon for giving me this opportunity; I’ve always wanted to rant about my girls but never thought anyone would care, so what was the point, y’know?

Thank you, babe. ;)

I don’t understand the gen-z/millennial thing because... Or rather just, the stupid ‘demographic’ names in general. NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE. This is a long vent over stupid names, and vague mysterious dates, and why the hell did they start at the END OF THE ALPHABET!? Also the fact this a western convention, and not a global one.

Experience wise: Anyone born in the 90′s were in the same school/s together. All grew up with the same intense speedy technological developments, and same culture.... Millennials AND Gen-Z are both the technology generations.

Like I was born in 1992. Three years before Gen-Z apparently starts in 1995.

My experiences are gonna be the same as the kid 3 years younger than me. We’re gonna get the same tech advancements, the same economic bullshit, the same school fuckery, the same job prospects, all of us in university debt, all of us with bullshit housing prospects. 

But apparently those in 1995+ are the tech gen??? Sounds fake but okay.  But also everyone between 1995 and 2000 is simultaneously a Millennial and a Gen-Z cause no-one ever made up their mind. Also Canada thinks Gen-Z starts at 1993. Just start it at 1990′. MAKE IT SIMPLE. Start generations on the ‘00′ marker and make life easier to document in terms of DATES. Instead of picking REALLY RANDOM YEARS. WHY DO THESE THINGS START MIDWAY THROUGH THE DECADE???? 

Like Young Millennials, and older Gen-Z experiences are both so interlinked. We shared school years, our siblings were one, two, three years above or below us.

And like......... Who defines where one gen starts, and another gen ends??

LIKE LOOK AT THIS:

The Lost Generation, also known as the Generation of 1914 in Europe,[26] is a term originating with Gertrude Stein to describe those who fought in World War I. The members of the lost generation were typically born between 1883 and 1900. All members of this generation are now deceased.

The G.I. Generation, is the generation that includes the veterans who fought in World War II. They were born from around 1901 to 1924, coming of age during the Great Depression. Journalist Tom Brokaw described American members of this cohort as the "greatest generation" in his book The Greatest Generation.[27]

The Silent Generation, also known as the Lucky Few, were born from approximately 1925 to 1942.[28] It includes some who fought in World War II, most of those who fought the Korean War and many during the Vietnam War.

The Baby Boomers, also known as the Me Generation, are the generation that were born mostly following World War II. There are no precise dates when the cohort birth years start and end. Typically, they range from the early-to-mid 1940s and end from 1960 to 1964. Increased birth rates were observed during the post–World War II baby boom making them a relatively large demographic cohort.[29][30] Generation X, commonly abbreviated to Gen X, is the generation following the baby boomers. Demographers and researchers typically use starting birth years ranging from the early-to-mid 1960s and ending birth years in the early 1980s. The term has also been used in different times and places for a number of different subcultures or countercultures since the 1950s. Millennials, also known as Generation Y,[33] are the cohort of people following Generation X. There are no precise dates for when this cohort starts or ends; demographers and researchers typically use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid 1990s to early 2000s as ending birth years. According to Pew Research, in 2019, the Millennials will surpass the Baby Boomers in size in the U.S., with 72 million Boomers and 73 million Millennials.[34] Generation Z, also known as the iGeneration, Post-Millennials, Homeland Generation,[33] or Plurals[33] is the cohort of people born after the Millennials. Demographers and researchers typically use the mid-1990s to mid-2000s as starting birth years.

(I bolded stuff)

So that’s:  - Baby Boomers: [Start] early 1940′s - [End] mid 1960′s. (20 years-ish). - Gen X: [Start] early 1960′s - [End] Early 1980′s. (20-ish years) - Millennial’s: [Start] early 1980′s - [End] mid 1990′s OR early 2000′s (WHAT’S THE TRUTH?) (15 years?? 20 years??) Why did they suddenly drop 5 years???? - Gen Z: [Start] mid 1990′s AND mid 2000′s - [End] (No current ‘end’ date). BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE

Xennials (also known as the Oregon Trail Generation and Generation Catalano) is a neologistic term used to describe people born during the Generation X/Millennial cusp years, typically from the late 1970s to the mid 1980s. People who identify with Xennials, Oregon Trail Generation or Generation Catalano do so because they do not feel they fit within the typical definitions of Generation X or Millennials.

So that’s: - Baby Boomers: [Start] early 1940′s - [End] mid 1960′s. (20 years-ish). - Gen X: [Start] early 1960′s - [End] Early 1980′s. (20-ish years) - ‘Xennials’: [Start] Late 1970′s - [End] Mid 1980′s - Millennial’s: [Start] early 1980′s - [End] mid 1990′s OR early 2000′s (15 years?? 20 years??)  - Gen Z: [Start] mid 1990′s OR mid 2000′s - [End] (No current ‘end’ date).  So???  SO??????? If Millennials ‘End’ Mid-90′s OR Early 2000′s And Gen-z ‘Starts’ Mid-90′s OR MID 2000′s. Who are these voidless people born between 1995 and 2005???? Millen-Z, X Zennials The Return? Look what you did? You took a weird generation naming system and gave it an existential crisis! Also apparently the ‘every 20 years’ is sited as ‘coming of age’ on wikipedia?? Which??? Yeah If you’re born at the START. But what about the person born at the end, who’s still technically that random Gen. They aint come of age. They got another 20 to go, yet arent the new gen. SO HOW IS THAT A COMING OF AGE DEMOGRAPHIC?!?!?!?! It’s so arbitrary and VAGUE.  But listen, Bob The Gen-Z Kid is three years younger than me. We were in the same school. We played football, or runescape (lol remember that), and neopets together! A ‘Millennial’ born in 1991, had WILDLY DIFFERENT experience to a ‘Millennial’ born in 1981. That’s a DECADE gap. THAT’S A TEN YEAR GAP. They didn’t go to school together! Or grow up together, unless you had a 10 year older, older sibling or cousin. WHICH I DID.  I have cousins a decade older than, born in the early 80′s.  My experiences to theirs? WILDLY DIFFERENT. HUGE DIFFERENCE. But yet??? Me, a ‘Millennial’ born in 1992 A Millennial-Gen-Z-Void Child born in 1995  are somehow... from 2 incredibly different worlds??? Bruh we were trading Pokemon cards together at lunch, until the teachers got pissy and banned them. When we literally shared school years together |D and were part of the same technological, economical, and educational generation. Born within the same 10 years of each other????? WHO DESIGNED THIS WEIRD ASS GENERATIONAL DEMOGRAPHIC SYSTEM????????? IT MAKES NO SENSE. Someone born in 2010? As a Gen-Z kid??? Yeah, that’s a huge difference in experiences. There’s been big school system changes, government changes, etc AND THIS IS THE THING It’s the same for everyone.  A person born in 1979 will have had the same experience as someone born in 1982. It’s a 3 year age gap. Yet they’re 2 different generations????????? I have 2 cousins. One born 1972, the other 1982, and me 1992. All 10 year gaps. All extremely different experiences. Yet somehow 72 = Gen X, early 80′s is Gen X AND Millennial, and 92 is Millennial. My cousins born 1990, and me in 92? Very similar experiences, and struggles. I shared uni classes with friends 2-3 years older than me. Same boat, same paddle. LIKE SERIOUSLY. WHO DEFINES THIS SHIT????????? POKEMON CAME OUT IN JULY 2000 IN EUROPE. I WAS 8. The Gen-Z kids were 5! WE TRADED POKEMON CARDS TOGETHER IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBOURS HOUSE.  ............ Who started this whole thing?!?!?!?!

The Lost Generation - 1883 - 1900 (17 years) The G.I. Generation - 1901 - 1924 (23 years) The Silent Generation - 1925 - 1942 (17 years) The Baby Boomers -  early/mid 1940s - 1960 to 1964. (20-ish years) Generation X -  early/mid 1960s - early 1980s. (20-ish years) ‘Xennials’: Late 1970′s - Mid 1980′s (10-ish years) Millennials | Generation Y -  early 1980s - mid 1990s/early 2000s. (15/20 yrs) ’Void Generation’ - 1995 - 2005 (10 years. Not A Real Demographic) Generation Z -  mid 1990′s/mid 2000′s - [2020???]

There’s a 20 year theme occurring here.

What will the Generation 2020 be called??

Can’t use X,Y, Z any more. (WHO STARTED THIS AT THE END OF THE ALPHABET???? WHY DIDN’T YOU START WITH THE LETTER ‘A’???? WHY WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA????)  So far, I’ve seen from googling: - Generation Alpha (lol) - Generation C (for computers???) YA’LL. Why are you trying to make ANOTHER computer gen??? You already gave that title to Gen-Z as the ‘tech gen’, completely ignored the fact that Millennials were the ACTUAL tech gen, and now you’re taking away Gen-Z’s identity to give it to Gen-C????? WHO NAMES THESE STUPID THINGS!?!?!? All of this is really stupid. All of it.

----------------------------------------------------- I want the 2020 Gen to the be the Space Generation. Let them be the Generation where they finally invent all the Sci-fi technology we’ve all dreamed of, and they get to use ACTUAL hover bikes, and Tony Stark style holographic computers that are AFFORDABLE and not rich-people-only-tech. And like get non-shitty schooling, and a better government. Millennials and Gen-Z can work hard to get that for them. Let them have something fun and cool and NOT ON THE VERGE OF WAR AND ECONOMIC COLLAPSE AND HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS. .............. But then, given how media loves to use ‘demographic terminology’ to demean, insult, and other wise pit generations against each other |D I don’t imagine it will be too great BUT HEY. Hopefully it’s younger Millennials and older Gen-Z’s leading the media hopefully in a more positive, less shitty light... I have way too much faith in journalists lmfao.  Any way. Point is. All of this is stupid |D And i’m pretty sure these things should be classified via economic divides, or even just start dating things on the ‘00′ to make life less confusing, not just for people, but also for researchers, and data gathers, and documenting demographics. Doesn’t it make more sense to just say ‘children born in the 90′s’, or ‘children born in the 2000′s.’ But noooooo ya’ll gotta create a bullshit system. Having vague ‘oh it might be mid 90′s OR it’s mid 2000′s’ is just stupid. The naming conventions??? ALSO MAKE NO SENSE. ON TOP OF THAT THESE ARE JUST THE WESTERN NAMING CONVENTIONS. This is isn’t even a global thing. Ya’ll just like making life difficult for historians and researchers, and confused kids born into void-generations.  In fact, just scrap the dumb naming stuff altogether. It’s so unnecessary and makes a grand total of 0 sense.  .... Consider. Generation M. The Meme Gen.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? no idea, I’d like to spend it with my parents but dad might work at the time and also sister can visit, I’m not even sure if I will be alive at the time nor if I want holidays as I have no money nor can’t eat much anyway

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? no Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? maybe vegetarian but not a vegan for sure Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? we have no car

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? from afar Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? I don’t :( Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? you mean if I listened to a live orchestra? not really Do your parents know how to text? not my mother Do you text your parents often? I text my father at least once a day when he’s at work What television channel do you watch the most? none anymore What will you do when this survey is over? take a bath and go to sleep, I play choices in the meantime, I might listen to music yet  What’s the weather like today? there was a thunderstorm How do you usually celebrate New Years? I was listening to music with my family, we had special food and then we looked at fireworks through the window drinking non alcoholic champagne  Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? it’s quiet

What was the last thing you took a video of? what kind of friend I am on snapchat or smth on tik tok that I set as private

What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? school as I no longer attend it Do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people? I’m an introvert and I prefer NOT to be around people  Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? never but sometimes I go to the mall and there are ppl speaking russian instead of polish  Have you ever dated someone from a very different socioeconomic background? yep Were you born before or after the collapse of the Soviet Union? year after How often do you go grocery shopping? about every second day or third? If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? it wouldn’t be born What was your last received text message about? M. wishing me good night Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? my town was a bit like this when I was a baby Are you a procrastinator? huge What was the last thing you said out loud? BYE or smth like that

Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? I haven’t

Have you ever studied abroad? neither Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? sorta List three things that you need to get done in the next few days? take my dog to the vet, get my examinations results and give them to my gastrologist, go on a date, do grocery shopping etc. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? being me What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ ugh... What was the last website you were on, before this one? Google Do you ever lose track of what day of the week it is? who doesn’t Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? could say so, my dad was busy often but I also had my grandma around Have you ever spent over $50 (€43) on a bottle of wine? - Have you ever locked your keys in your car? I don’t get it, how is that even possible? :o What season do you wish lasted longer? summer How old is the last male you texted? 60+ How old is the last female you texted? 28 Have you ever ‘taken a break’ in a relationship? If so, how did things turn out? could say so

How many times have you ever ridden an elephant? 0 but I want to What do you think about Lord of the Rings? cool

Do you have a lot of clothes hangers in your house? shitload Have you ever been in a Latin class? floristry  Have you ever had bubble gum stuck in your hair? once Is there any pet hair stuck to your clothing? I don’t think so Have you ever watched The Gremlins? nah Is your cell on charge? it is indeed What do you think about rainbows? ... Are you wearing anything on your head right now? am not Do you own a pet spider? I don’t Do you like mouthwash? I dislike it Do you use green pens? very rarely Are there any fake tattoos on you? none Can you roll your belly? a bit Is there a rocking chair in your house? there isn’t Have you ever gone to a Monster Truck show? would like to someday but it’s not necessary Have you ever been kicked in the throat? punched/slapped/hit  Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? ironically Do you own a feather boa? blergh Do you wear ribbons in your hair? used to have this special decoration that I made myself - it was a ponytail made out of ribbons and my friends’ mom or grandma was calling it Krakowianka Do you use cheat codes on video games? motherlode How long has it been since you last slept? over ten hours Is the sound on your laptop or computer turned off? it’s on How many keychains do you own? too many lmfao Magnets? several Do you own anything with a peace sign on it? doubt it When is the last time you wore shorts? this month which is new/weird to me Do you like elevators or escalators? use them when I need to Is there anyone in the room with you? I’m alone When is the last time you pet an animal? today

Is it windy outside? who knows Have you ever met a dog named ‘Spot’? I called one this way

Do you usually wrap gifts or just put them in a bag? give them without packing or anything  When was the last time you were given jewelery as a gift? this year If you look out the window closest to you - what do you see? darkness Have you ever used crutches? for “fun” If Willy Wonka invited you to live with him, would you? ewww, creepy Do you own a pair of pink shoes? mhm Have you ever been in a tree house? sadly not Have you ever been outside in freezing cold weather with no jacket on? ha! it reminds me of the time we’ve been using hot glue for couple of hours to make floral decorations in class and we all started going crazy like on drugs and we wen outside in T-shirts in a freezing cold winter time to finish projects and we didn’t feel anything pfft - I wasn’t sick afterwards :P The last time you said “I want it” - what was it that you wanted? not sure what was last but I want health constantly if that counts What color are your sunglasses? they’re not colorful Are you picky about how your clothes fit? I like ‘em oversized Would you ever flirt with somebody in front of your parents? slightly Would you ever move to China? what for What material are the pants you’re wearing made of? cotton

How long have you had your current mattress? years Do you usually pay with cash, debit card, or credit card? cash always What do you usually drink with breakfast? I drink water an hour after breakfast

Are you the type of person who can make friends with just about anyone? me? r u kidding? What’s your least favorite time of day? morning because of waking up but sunrises are pretty  How many burners does your stove have? 4 When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table? table Which room of your house is currently in the greatest need of cleaning? *shrug* not mine  When was the last time you shipped a package? uh oh I don’t even remember  Have you ever made a homemade pie? with my mom How old is your oldest cousin? don’t ask me

Do you ever have binges that last for hours, watching YouTube videos? not that long

Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? ^^”

Are there any movies out there that basically make you want to puke? Gummo *someone once told me it reminds them of me and I wasn’t able to watch half of it as it was so disgusting and that comment feels like one of the worst offensive shit anybody ever told [about] me

Are either of your parents laid of from work at the moment? retired

Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? no secrets like this

Have you ever told a secret on one of your friends you promised otherwise? you got me

Do you consider yourself a promiscious person? I’m an asexual but recently... Look to your left, what’s the first blue thing you see right now? there’s nothing blue on my left side atm as there’s a window 

Do you know anyone who has AIDS? What about yourself? no one that I know of 

Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? plenty of times

What’s one thing in your room you would die if your SO found? I wouldn’t die, I might be embarassed if anything

Does your school have a swimming pool? Or no? my schools didn’t have swimming pools

Do you prefer cappuccinos or frappuccinos? I only tried cappuccino before  Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? lake Are there any plants in your home? omg yes What food does honey go best with? I liked yoghurt with honey when I was a child Have you ever carved a pumpkin? less than 5 times Do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the Winter? I like it on windows only Have you ever reread a book? no? Would you ever like to own a chandelier? not crystal one 

Do you have any religious symbols in your home? bunch What religion do you identify with, if any? Christianity If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant? you mean vegetables?

Do you enjoy those tins of butter cookies? yeah Do you own any art supplies? I gave away most of them Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil? pen How many notebooks do you own? Are they all filled? I own lots of filled and empty notebooks

Are you currently sitting on your bed? I’m not

Did anything tend to make you extremely happy today?  nope

What month is it?  August

Do you know where the remote to the closest television is located or not? I know

Name one interesting fact about yourself that people might not know about? I hate The Nanny Affair on Choices and play it only to get diamonds

Do you ever have to write down a phone number to remember it, or not? every single time

Do you know anyone who has man-boobs?  many men have “boobs” *in middle school we had a guy who they were calling Pamela (Anderson) because of that

Do you know anyone who constantly puts themselves down?  that me

When was the last time you had a piece of cake?  yesterday or day before

Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced? Does it look painful? not personally

Do you think some famous people just shouldn’t be famous at all?  lots

Has anyone ever complimented you on your singing? Did you believe them? once in primary school and I think they tried to flirt with me but I believe they were lying or maybe they just tried to make fun of me? 

Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain? Did it seem romantic at the time? no thx

When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? in public, it was loud so I couldn’t help it

How satisfied with life are you at this exact moment in time? Why is this? no comment

darkcocosb:

empirestatesugar-deactivated201:

Invent fake facts about yourself. Create an email address specifically for sugaring and only email them there. Get the Google Voice App and create a phone number to text/call men from distinct from your own. Use a fake name for the first few dates. List the next town over as your location on your profile and never tell them the actual college that you go to — especially if it’s small! If they ask what your parents do for a living, make it up or be vague. Once you’re super comfortable with them, you can tell them “Oh my name’s actually Katherine, not Katelynn” or even give them your real phone number if you want to as I often snapchat with NASA. But he’s the only one of my SDs who knows it as Google Voice works flawlessly and the others don’t really need it.

On an opposite note, get as many details as possible about him from him or through background searching. If he tells you he’s the CEO of Apple, go to Apple’s website and confirm that. Also, invest in a Spokeo Account. Don’t be that annoying SB who begs girls to look men up for her. A lot of girls only buy the monthly plan which has a search quota so if these girls are kindly looking men up for you, that’s less POTs they can search for themselves. I think it’s like $49.95 per year and it’s well worth the money for the amount of information it gives you. You can reverse search his phone number, email, name, etc. to find out his address, income, family members — anything! I love to find their children’s names then look them up on Facebook to see how they live. Riding horses on vacation in Santorini as your cover photo? Okay, I’ll break bread with your dad tomorrow. Little Ashley’s making duck faces and wearing Abercrombie? Sorry, John, I’m actually no longer searching for an SD — best of luck!

Get as many photos as possible (5+) from a man you’re talking to so that you can reverse search them and find out company info, criminal history, or if he’s on any other sites to cross-check age, location, and other facts on the profile you first saw him on.

Before a first meet, Skype with him (for 5 to 30 minutes) to again make sure the photos he sent are of him and not some handsome model on JCrew’s website (guys on SD4M do this all the time — you’re not slick)! While you don’t want the skype date to replace the first date, it is a good way to keep and/or build up his interest and by revealing yourself in 3D and decreasing his chances of cancelling/flaking on you. New SDs in particular often get nervous by the whole process, especially if they’re married, so if he sees “Wow! She’s gorgeous/real/funny/witty/ and excited to see me Thursday!” he’ll be more at ease not only to go through with the meet, but to spend more chedda. Moreover, a Skype date can show you “Wow! He’s an asshole and begging me to slide the camera down to my boobs.” So you can know way before you spend hours on hair and make-up that the date will be a waste.

Need for discretion. If a man doesn’t tell you much about himself, his job, or his life, is using a GV number or a fake email, is going by a fake name, it does not matter at all. 9 times out of 10 I show up to POT dates knowing the results of their latest colonoscopy while they think I don’t even know their name. Focus on the steps above and let them think they’re slicker than you. Nigerian Prince never told me his real name. I knew it from 5 seconds after he emailed me, but I played along and feigned ignorance because I knew he was safe and rich and whatever other secrets he kept from me were irrelevant. After our first date, he revealed his real career, location, (still not his real name) etc. and I’d already known it all, but, like us, he was simply wary of giving too much info to the wrong person. My favorite is when a guy emails you from his real email using a fake name. “Inbox: New Email from Steve Jobs” “Hey it’s Mike!” lmfao Hey Mike! Whatever makes you comfortable enough to meet me for dinner and pay me. All this being said, sometimes a man’s “need for discretion” makes it fucking impossible to find out anything from him. In that case, I say “While I respect your need for discretion, it does not trump my need for safety and I would not feel comfortable meeting you for dinner without…(at least a skype date)(as many photos as I’ve sent you)(information about XYZ)(etc.).” If he refuses to accommodate, he’s blatantly disrespectful of your safety concerns and he’s not worth your time.

Asks for sexy photos. You really need to make sure your profile photos are serve their purpose and depict what you look like from head to toe. If you only include iPhoto face shots, that’s dandy but you need a full body shot of you in a cute outfit and I also always include a bikini shot. Nothing raunchy, just a fun day at the beach. If they’re asking for sexy photos and you already have full body shots on your profile, then kindly end it because they’re 12 year old horn dogs stuck in 45 year old bodies. But if your photos suck and they just want to confirm that you’re not Shrek, then you need to amp up your profile and oblige.

Asks your favorite position, kinkiest moment, sex history, what you’re into etc.There’s no space for immature, tacky, desperate rapid fire sex questions in the sugar bowl. At its core, sugaring is about companionship, chemistry, and fun times. If he needs a rap sheet of what you will and will not do in the bed room, then he should call up a pimp and ask for a very specific hooker. Even if you tell him this and he apologizes and stops, you still know that that’s his main incentive for joining this site so he’s probably looking for pay for play but has too much pride to admit to wanting a prostitute. If you’re fine with 4 hours a month with this man for however much you agree on, then boom! You just landed on easy money. But if you’re looking strictly for a sugar arrangement with outings, dinners, etc. then you need to move on. But be mindful that a lot of these men might be into BDSM, so if they ask specifically if you have interest in that then that’s not necessarily a red flag so much as them not wanting to waste either of your time. If you do say yes, however, and he presses you with sex questions, he’s equally guilty of the above offense.

Sleezy username/bad grammar. If “Hotsex69” messages you, you already know what he’s there for. He’s not a sugar daddy. He’s blatantly looking for pay for play.

Takes offense to your precautions. A lot of men will quickly realize that you both have iPhones and that your messages aren’t coming up blue. If he questions it, let him know straight up, “I’m using an app called Google Voice so that I don’t have to share my real phone number with strangers. Once I’m comfortable enough with you, I will give you my real number and you can reach me there.” 99% of guys completely get it and think “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that. She’s smart and safe and not full of shit! I can tell a lot of guys have wasted her time and I don’t want to be one, so I better step it up if I ever want the honor of using iMessage with this hottie!” The other 1% will cry like little bitches and be like “We’ve hit it off thus far! Don’t you trust me?!?” If he honestly thinks trust can be fostered after a few email messages, he’ll be equally pissy when you don’t have sex on the first date or when you reject his marriage proposal on the second date.

Insists on meeting for just drinks. 10:00pm drinks at the hotel bar so you can get drunk and then go upstairs? Um no. In a fun way, tell him you’d rather meet for dinner at this great restaurant you’re dying to try yada yada. I had this one guy come back at me with “How about we start with drinks and if we hit it off, then we can get dinner?” Lmfao why?! I literally see no incentive to that besides wanting to roofie me. If you’re that awkward and can’t be around a younger, more attractive woman without drinking then let’s drink at dinner. Have 10 glasses of wine with your food. I don’t care. But if I’m getting dolled up, I’m eating food. You are not skimping out on buying me dinner and you are not roofie-ing me and you are not getting me drunk so you can drag me back to your lair. I do too much damn cardio to drink my calories. Buy me dinner, you fuck.

Meet in a public place and STAY in a public place. Stroll in Central Park? Awesome! He wants to wander past the “DO NOT ENTER” sign and show you this ‘amazing view of the river’? Nope. Restaurants, coffee, theater — doesn’t matter as long as you’re surrounded by witnesses.

Have your own transportation to AND from a first meet. And from. And. From. AND FROM!!! Not “Oh I took a taxi here, but let me save $10 and go home with him — he was so funny and obviously legitimate!” Even if that’s true and he’s a sweetie and who he says he is, these men never need to know where you live. (Notice I did not say never should know. Doctor knows where I live and that’s fine. But he doesn’t need to.) If you ultimately decide you’re comfortable with having an SD over at your apartment, then that will come after several dates, not the first. Plus, the chase is half the fun for him. Don’t reveal all of yourself too quickly. For this same reason, never get into his car on the first date. Besides just safety reasons, you don’t want him to feel like (physically and mentally) that he has you 100%. Leave something to be desired.

Tell someone where you are and who you’re going with. If you’re close with a friend or relative who is non-judgmental, make sure they know where your date is and when you’ll be back. Otherwise, find a resource on here (I’ll gladly help you out)and text them (from your GV number) where you are going, when you get there, when you leave, and when you are home. Whenever I get in an SDs car for the first time, I always text my sugar friends his license number.

Some SBs insist on staying sober. I like to drink and I can handle it, so I do. But definitely don’t get drunk. It’s sloppy and unattractive but will also distract you from your goal of setting an allowance/arrangement in place and getting to know this man better. Plus, it will impair your judgment and prevent you from remembering the rest of these safety tips.

Doesn’t bring a gift or cash to the first date. Stop being so entitled. At this point, he owes you just as much as you owe him — nothing.

The car he drives. The $3000 allowance of a man who drives an Aston Martin is just as green as that of the man who drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Offers you a ride there or back. He might genuinely want to save you the hassle of travelling. Most of these men are fathers and have that protective instinct. It’s 9pm, dark out, she’s waiting for a cab, this is nonsense, I’ll drive her. It’s not a redflag that he’s trying to be a gentleman, but either way, maintain your stance and politely decline.

Awkward behavior. Steve Jobs gave brilliant speeches, but outside of that, the dude was awkward as fuck. Nonetheless, he was richer than God. If a guy reaches to hold your hand on the first date and you don’t want him to, just say, “John, I’m having an absolute blast but I’m just not comfortable with that yet.” There’s no need to flip out and write a post saying OMG THIS GUY WAS SO CREEPY HE LIKE TRIED TO RAPE ME BLACKLIST!!!!! Doctor is the most awkward guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. Like him, many of these POTs were valedictorians of Harvard who went on to spend the next 8-12 years of their lives accumulating degrees in the dungeons of the Ivy Leagues. They lack sunlight and social skills. It’s okay. That doesn’t mean be wishy-washy when he tries to cop a feel. No. Be firm and put him in his place. If he makes you excessively uncomfortable, end the date and don’t pursue another. But if he stutters or can’t maintain eye contact or holds eye contact for too long or snorts or recites how beautiful you are or has a creepy smile, that doesn’t necessarily make him a potential serial killer.

Talks about hotel time, private time, intimate time, ‘getting away’. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be NO SEX on the first date. If he thinks dinner and a few hundred dollars gets you two “alone time” at the Ritz Carlton, then send him packing. Be blunt and embarrass that loser. Literally say, “John, I’ve had a blast getting to know you thus far but I have zero interest in trading sex for lobster and a gas money. I’m a lady who is looking for a gentleman with the means to provide for her and support her. If you’re only interested in sex in exchange for money, then you’re looking for an escort, not a sugar baby, and a second date would be a waste of both of our time.” Scare the shit out of him and make him realize just how crass and pathetic he’s being. You wear the pants. He’ll straighten up very quickly, or realize that you’re right and head down to the corner of main street instead.

Cringes at the bill or what you’re ordering. If he can’t afford lobster, desert, or how many drinks you’re getting, he can’t afford you. This is an absolute no brainer. Even if he says he can afford your $3000 monthly allowance, if it means he’s going without food, laundry, or anything else just to afford it for you now, there WILL come a later when he leaves you hanging. A real SD loves to treat you and doesn’t care if you buy the bar!

Switches stories. It’s one thing from initially stating he’s in finance to getting more specific about which sector or region he works in, but if yesterday he was CEO of Apple and today he’s a professor, he’s probably full of shit. Don’t be afraid to call him out on it. “I thought you said —-?” Learn the dynamics of body language and be able to discern when someone is lying or hiding key information from you. He could very well be the manager of the local K-Mart hoping to spend as many free dates with you as possible before you catch him in his lie.

Insists on anything. If he’s choosing your meal for you, forcing you to ride home with him, or backing you into a corner in any way, ditch him. If he’s that pushy on the first date, he’ll be even more pushy on the second or on the third because you let him win this time.

Use a condom.

If you don’t use a condom, get tested regularly together and show each other the results.

Doesn’t meet allowance. If he owes you $500 per meet and misses a meet, he needs to bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. If it’s the end of the month and he shows up without allowance, he needs to send it to you/bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. Do not let him get comfortable and think of you as a friend or girlfriend. This is a SUGAR ARRANGEMENT. Do not let him treat you like something that you’re not and get sloppy with the reason why we’re here.

Wants to meet your family. Doctor still insists on introducing me to his sisters. Eck. Whatever. But he’s never meeting any of my family. I am not your girlfriend. This is not a relationship. We have no real future together. Read this haiku. It is the anthem of the bowl.

Insists on not using a condom, trying XYZ in bed that makes you uncomfortable. As always, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and let them know. A real SD will put his desires aside for your safety and comcort. If he’s being pushy in bed or otherwise, he’s not there for your best interest.

Asks about your personal life. It’s not weird for a man to want to know what classes you’re taking or what’s new in your world. He’s not being creepy or nosy, he’s just curious about what makes you tick. He shouldn’t be prying into if you have a boyfriend or anything super specific, but don’t get weirded out if he asks a lot of things about you.

Asks for sexy pics or texts suggestively. After you’re intimate together, this really is fair game to ask. As always, you need not oblige, and if you do, play it safe and don’t include your face or use SnapChat. But just because he’s thinking of sex more doesn’t mean he’s still not invested in being a sugar daddy. If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If he’s a true SD, he’ll respect your boundaries and get over it.

Is affectionate in public. Just because he likes to hold your hand and kiss you, doesn’t mean he’s thinking of you as a girlfriend and less of an SD and forgetting your arrangement. If PDA makes you uncomfortable and you need a bit more discretion, let him know. But just because he likes your soft skin doesn’t mean he’s going to propose and leave your arrangement in the dust. He might just like your soft skin.

Hates shopping. Not surprisingly, a lot of men hate shopping, especially for women or with women or in women’s stores. So just because he’s not buying you louboutins doesn’t mean he won’t give you the money to buy them yourself.

Your token line is: “I’m not comfortable with that (yet).” Don’t be wishy-washy! If he wants to have sex and you lie and say “Oh uh I’m on my period” he’ll just ask again the next time. Instead, be honest and be firm saying you’re not comfortable with sex, riding in his car, his hand on your leg, meeting his mom, etc. etc. etc. Drop this line WHENEVER you need to say no. It sets the tone that you are the one who sets the boundaries of the relationship and that those boundaries will not be crossed. If a man ever persists against something you’ve blatantly stated makes you uncomfortable, then you know it’s time to end things.

Never let the prospect of money trump the prospect of danger.

Great post. But Steve Jobbs is never richer than God.