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alexiaugustin · 3 years

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good morning mutuals and everyone else on tumblr who is cool and made my year! this is gonna be my mutuals appreciation post 2020 because if anything good happened this year then it's getting to know all of you guys so there's that. i love you all so so sooo much and always love to see y'all and your gif sets / memes / crack posts /rants / edits and so on and so forth on my dash. you made this year beautiful and i just wanna thank u for that!💘💘 (also im sorry if the picture above activates anyone's fight response i just thought that it would fit if i went back to where it all started)

@engelkeijsers mare my love i don't even have words to describe how much i love you and am happy to have you in my life. i consider you one of my closest friends by now and that's why i always message you whenever exciting shit happens in my life (or whenever shit goes down that ofc depends🤪). our phone calls were so fucking funny and i loved talking to you sooo much i can't wait to meet you in real life one day!!💖 please feel hugged you're such a beautiful human.

@dreamaur ann my beloved mutual i love you from the bottom of my heart and just wanna thank you for being the cute bitch that u are who always remembers our mutuals anniversary like....🥺🥺 i just love that we always watch and read and stan the same things like what kind of soulmutuals behavior is this?. can't wait for s&b to air so we can always freak out about kaz and inej and everyone else together. i'm kissing your cheek and wish you the absolute best for 2021 because u deserve the best😽

@sotorubio silja i love you and your blog so much you just have such a galaxy brain and you're so eloquent and your blog is one of the few that i check on regularly because i don't wanna miss a single post you make. here's a fun fact before i properly got to know you i thought that you were sooo intimating i don't even know why and then we started talking at some point and i was like "hold on a second they are SO lovely and warm actually and not intimating at all hdhdh" as you might have figured out by now i always love talking to you about skames or rant about 13rw and everything else. i just love u!!!🧡

@helmtaryn aurore you are probably the first person who ever started talking to me on here and so it all began and we always talked abt skam france before s6 started and during and you're just such a wonderful person!! thank you for always being there for me and helping me with my french homework i truly cannot thank you enough for that because you're constantly saving my ass jdhd. you're just so fun to talk to and such a talented gif maker like... for real your gif sets always knock me out and you're always so original in what you gif🥺❣

@geminibf i know i've told you that before but your blog is my comfort blog on here literally just seeing your posts on my dash always makes my day and you're one of the most beautiful ppl i've ever known like how do you even manage to do that🥺💘 plus you're sooo talented at this point im convinced that there's absolutely nothing that you cannot do so yeah i have no idea where this sentence is going but i guess what im trying to tell u is that i love u and im so happy to be ur friend

@alterlovex niiiii❣❣❣ you're not even like a tumblr mutual you're like my tumblr sister (figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean jdjd) and you were one of the first people who hyped my stupid posts up and it always made me go 🥺😭. i started following you despite the fact that u had a wtfock icon (honorary) and i absolutely never regretted it. you're so beautiful and warm and so is your blog and i will try to talk more to u again in 2021. im virtually sending you so many flowers🌷🌻🌸💐

@jorgecrespo you're just the coolest bitch alive. i followed you for your skam rankings and stayed for your whole entire personality. every post you make truly just slaps, you never miss, and i relate to you so much jdjd. the way you answer anon messages will forever be my favorite thing about your blog and just the way you talk in general like without even seeing your url i always know when it's you who wrote a post. i love you❕❕💖

@jusdekiwi you and aurore are the reason why french people deserve rights, you are such a lovely and genuine person and i absolutely love you and your chill vibes on your blog. also thank you for helping me out with my french homework thingy once like. thank you so so much for being so lovely and taking your time julia!🌻

@suburbanenigma carmen i love you and all of your posts and just the vibes on your blog!!! also omfg your riverdale side blog always makes me laugh soo much i truly cannot wait for s5 to air so we can make fun of it together because i will live blog the shit out of it too!! you're just one of the coolest bitches ever i don't know how else to say it. i love you and cant wait to talk to you more next year. you're such a blessing for this hellsite🦋✨

@sundaymorninghangover julian you are one of my oldest friends on here and i've loved you ever since i found your blog and figured out that u were a part of the having taste club (skames fandom) too!! you're so chill!!! i love your brain!! i love your posts!!! and most importantly i love you. please keep on blessing my dash with your cool posts because they are definitely appreciated and loved in this house. also i miss your frog icon (please don't hit me in case it wasn't a frog) it just spoke volumes about your vibes but i love ur new one too!! still associate the purple heart with you so here it is 💜💜

@lesbeanfatou clara you simply are an angel. you used to have a nora grace icon and i went: that's it, she's the one, she has taste im gonna follow!! and look it was one of the best decisions ever. you're my favorite chaotic n cool mosquito hater and i just love you so much and you made my year beautiful!! thank you for always listening to me when i came into your inbox to have a break down (positive or negative) over the we feel in love in october girl and thank you for teaching me how make edits!!!💐💘

@aoixe you're one of my favorite skamfr hate blogs and certain men hate blogs (if u know u know) i always love talking and ranting with you and am so glad that we're sometimes just dming!! you're vibes are so cool a d you seem like such a chill person i love you and wish you all the best for 2021!!❣❣

@fatoudixon ana i love you and your blog so so much and especially your druck reaction videos on youtube!! you seem like such a genuine and beautiful person and even though we're not talking much please just know that im always happy to see you on my dash. happy new year to you!!💘💘

@cash-queens sam🥺 you're so sweet and kind this hell site truly doesn't even deserve you but we all love that you're here anyway!! i would protect you with my life and i hope that we will get to talk more in 2021 because you're such a lovely person and for now im just gonna wish u a happy new year✨

@avaceleste sophiaaa💌 you've been here ever since the very beginning of skamfr season 6 and i always love talking to you and long live our eliola jokes, you were probably the person i started this cult with so here is our eliola emoji starterpack one more time in 2020 💏🌧🎬

@hashtag-ohboy-nicetry i have no idea whose side blog this was but the url alone made my entire year🤭🤞

@ random love anon❤ i love you and hope that 2021 will be a good year for you because you absolutely deserve it!!! wishing u nothing but the best i always love to see you around!💐💘

all the other amazing blogs i love and am always happy to see on my dash (doesn't matter if we're mutuals or not)

@floraflorenzi / @bi-kieu-my / @gumptin / @thegirlnooneknows5 / @littleweirdoss / @sohereisthisasshole / @noramachwtz / @nori-in-pink / @ayellowcurtain / @mailinrichter / @ijzermanora / @fudgetunblr / @lesbianfatous / @norgestan / @cfgc / @avaspereira / @theflowerisblue / @smblmn / @jon-astronaut / @amiraamore / @parelmoer / @stqrz 💘❣💐🦋💌🌸

i wish all of you a very happy new year and thank you for all of your gifs, posts, translations, fanfics & edits you all truly make this place beautiful❕💘

#mutuals appreciation #i rly hope that i didn't forget anyone

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mwolf0epsilon · 4 years

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First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise.

Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.

With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!

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The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.

Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.

Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.

Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).

Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?

If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.

Or at least he didn't.

With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.

I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.

The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.

To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.

Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.

Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.

For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).

This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.

I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.

In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).

When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.

An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.

Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies.

Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.

Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).

The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...

Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.

But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.

Mechanical blinky head? Check.

Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.

Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.

Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.

If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.

It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.

Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.

It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.

Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).

Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.

She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.

There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).

Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.

But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.

That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy crack up comics #bendy spoilers #spoilers #theory #headcanons #speculation #twisted alice #the projectionist #brute boris #long post

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sugarandspice-games · 4 years

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Spicy take time (costarring Sugar): The Bros rated by how well I think their arcs/character development/relationship with MC was written and how much it makes sense. (Disclaimer: Our affection for these characters and how interesting, compelling, and lovable we find them has ZERO bearing on this list. ALSO, beware, here there be salt, IE, this is critical of the writing. It’s also long as fuck, so if you just wanna skim and read the bold parts, that’s okay too. You are also free to disagree with us as this is just an opinion, and keep in mind that we have only read to chapter 24 so if there are elements of the story we are unaware of... please be understanding of that and don’t spoil it.) Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Starting at the top is BEST BOI IMO: Beelzebub. So, yeah, in terms of character development and growth, he really doesn’t change all that much, aside from starting off not trusting MC to slowly opening up to them about his trauma. But putting that to the side, his relationship with them makes the most sense. After sharing a bedroom and helping him open up, as well as having the mutual goal of protecting Luke, and then even later going on to save his beloved little brother, it follows that he absolutely adores you afterward. Also, he doesn’t start off disliking you like some of the others. So, all around, he makes the most sense. He’s also one of the deeper characters with his backstory, even if I wish they’d give him other flaws than just being hongry (and playing his unhealthy eating habits/coping mechanism as a joke. Disordered eating should be taken more seriously, especially binge eating but that’s a can of worms for another day)

2) Second best is probably going to shock you, but Satan takes this spot. Why? Well, strictly in terms of arc progression, his relationship with MC starting out as one of manipulation and growing into something more genuine when they go on a heartwarming and wacky adventure together with his hated older brother which causes him to open up makes a lot of sense, at least more so than some of the others. While I wish they gave him more meat characterization wise, I think his arc was pretty well done in terms of story structure.

Okay, so, Sugar here. While I agree with Spice that Satan could use some more meat (and that we should be able to have some more information on Baby Satan because we all need that in our lives), I think that the progression of him and LUCI’S bond (not MC’s) could have done with more subtlety. While I appreciate him softening up, and see that progress, we don’t really get to see the tension of the newfound change and how he settles into letting things go/mellow out and I get it-- it’s a dating sim and the secondary relationships are well, secondary, but it would be interesting to see him and MC bond more through time.

3) Third place probably won’t be all that shocking, because this is where I’m placing Lucifer. He’s arguably one of the characters in the series who’s gotten the most love from the writers, having the most screentime, the most affectionate scenes with MC, and the most fleshed out backstory and characterization as well as fleshed out relationships with each of the characters. His relationship progression with MC also takes a nice, even pace, with him slowly learning to trust them and respect them, culminating in an almost-confession (I THINK. Unless I’m reading that part wrong) and then being shattered at MC’s betrayal, and then earned back in true Pixar-movie fashion by them teaming up for a common goal. HOWEVER. And this is a big however. I would love to see his unhealthy tendencies addressed and NOT fetishized. (Don’t come at me with that “BUT THEY’RE DEMONS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVILLLLL” dude. If a demon being in a healthy relationship is where you draw the line in terms of believability, then why are you playing a fantasy demon dating sim anyway?) I love him, I stan him, I simp for him, but I wish he had at least apologized for his not-subtle threats of physical violence toward MC rather than jumping straight into the ALSO kinda violent “You’re mine and nobody else’s” gimmick.

Unlike some men (SPICE), I am actually not a Luci stan and while I do have a soft spot, and understanding of his place as an eldest sibling... I would also like to see the writer’s unravel the unhealthiness/coping Lucifer has in place and why/how it came to be. I feel like we get a sense that Luci has thawed since coming to the Devildom but we don’t really see how Lucifer in the Celestial Realm (and how his friendship with Simeon) has progressed. Luci has a lot of love from the writers but from a story stand-point, he is never really allowed to be weak and own up to his own flaws and how that has impacted/hurt MC.

4) Sharing fourth place is Leviathan and Mammon! I’m putting them in the same spot because the issues I have with them are the same, though I plan on addressing their good points individually. But since my beef is simpler, I’m going to start off with the bad. IMO, a good rivals to friends to lovers romance happens in STEPS. You start off from not getting along, to then finding some things in common, and gradually coming to respect each other, and then like each other, and finally love each other. This... doesn’t really happen with these two, and while we see the change from both tsundere boys starting off disliking you and eventually coming to love you, we don’t really get that inbetween that makes the payoff so much worth it. And if those inbetweens are there, the story doesn’t really tell us that, and it doesn’t show us their thought processes. Like, how much would it suck if in pokemon, your charmander evolved immediately into Charizard upon beating your first few gyms? It’s like that.

But as for the good, Levi’s arc makes sense because you’re the first person to really let him be himself and not shame him for the things he loves. You let him ramble about his interests and show interest in them yourself (AT LEAST IF YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING MONSTER. I’ll let Sugar talk more on him, that’s their boy.)

Whoo, boy. Here we go! For whatever reason, the otaku became my favorite and I love him, but as far as arcs go... He could have gotten a bit more screentime and progress. It makes sense that he would become attached to MC as his brothers are very, very... critical and patronizing about his interests. He is also by far the most skittish and introverted of the bunch, coupled with his sin and seeing all the ways he falls short (in his eyes) is a recipe for loneliness and desire for companionship/friendship. While I am not happy with the progression, for me, it makes sense and I would also have loved to see some breaking/softening of how much his Sin influences him when it comes to MC. I’m not saying erase it because demons are meant to give in to temptation but some reassurance and acceptance of that would be good.

(I also know that there is some disk horse about him guilt-tripping you about spending time with his brothers and while I agree it can be hard... It definitely isn’t on a painful level. Like, say... Ray’s in Jihyun’s route in Mystic Messenger. This also is a difference for players who are interested in one love route versus the many route and different strokes, but I digress.)

As far as Mammon goes, well, you’re his first. And he’s not only glad that there’s someone who’s kind to him instead of making fun of him, but also takes pride in having someone to protect. His puppy crush going to full blown love is adorable.

This blog is all about spicy takes, yeah? Well, here’s mine (Sugar): Mammon is lovable but not as lovable as he could be and before all the Mammon stans, come for me- let it be known I like Mammon but his introduction and how he comes to be soft is NOT an easy, or believable transition. There are ways to write a good tsundere and the writers just missed the mark by having Mammon be too callous and then slipping to lovable without that sweet slide into the other end. I will not deny he is very cute, and a good character, and a good brother (and also the most human, according to Satan’s home screen interaction) but... The progression and endearment factor is lacking because of the structure of the narrative.

5) Is another unsurprising one, but this spot is Belphegor’s. Solmare. My dude. Why did you do this. We could have had it ALL. It could have been great. But you screwed the pooch. You took anything good about this relationship out behind the shed and shot it like a lame horse. Let it be known that I LIKED Belphie and MC’s alliance to get him out of gay baby jail, and I adored that love he still holds for Beel... I thought he was going to be a fav of mine, in fact. But how they handled the... uhm... murder ruined it for me. I’m sorry, I just cannot believe that I’m supposed to suddenly be besties with the man who manipulated me and crushed me to death like, a week after it happened. What if I have PTSD from that??? Also... he claims that he loves MC for who they are and not because of Lilith, but that’s not believable when his whole turning point is finding out that they’re Lilith’s descendant. The change needed to be more gradual, and having a subtle, gradual forgiveness arc would have been AWESOME but we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU!!!!!

Annnd... Belphie is actually one of my favorites FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T KNOW MAN. I agree that we could have had it and I’m like (Insert Hades red flaming hair gif here). The decision to not have a redemption arc ruined it for me and while I love Belphie and his softness/brattiness mixture with handling MC... It is underscored by a lack of believable affection and the payoff of struggle on both Belphie’s part and MC’s. Also, there is a lot of ‘You are not who I want you to be, but it’s good enough’ with MC regarding their lineage and connections to the brothers and how that plays out/color the relationships with maybe the exception of Satan and surprisingly, Mammon that irks me but again, another thought for another time.

6) Aaaaand last and also the least... Asmodeus. “YOU GET NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR.” --Solmare to Asmo. The writers neglected him SO much, I like him but what the hell are they doing? There’s so much that could be explored here, and with anything involving Asmo they’re like “I do not see it”. His love for MC also isn’t really that believable when his turning point is realizing that they’re powerful. It doesn’t even fit with any of his potential conflicts. The Diavolo’s castle arc set us up to think that Asmo would have some deep seated insecurities with not being able to be loved or desired by everyone, or maybe some insecurities about not being an angel anymore, or some vulnerability issues or something, and they were just like NOPE. It doesn’t make any gotdamn sense! I just... Grrr. Asmo, I’m so sorry, sweetie. You deserve better.

Asmodeus definitely deserves better and I will stand by that until the day I stop playing this damn game. While I, personally, think that his intrigue with MC makes sense (because he is lusty-- probably not just for sex but in general), it makes sense he would want someone with power but while the set up is there, his character falls flat because there is no bonding moment, or turning point for him at all. His affection for MC is still that playful, carefree, flirty persona he carries and I would love to see it dropped and how his fall from the Celestial Realm really weighs on him and an arc where he and MC talk about vulnerability and the power behind being seen as someone attractive and the way it dehumanizes you at the same time. It could be good-- hell, it could be great-- but it was killed before it started and I will never not think that Asmo could have had some KILLER growth. As it stands, he has more connection/romantic potential with Solomon than MC.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Feel free to yell at us in the replies, you know you want to. If this post blows up enough, maybe we can rate the undatables (though they don’t have any story arcs so... that would be a challenge.)

#spice talks #sugar speaks #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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firstdate-lastdate · 3 years

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Karma is a Cold Bitch

I held off writing this story for a long time. At the time, it was truly one of the meanest things someone had done to me, and I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t seriously hurt. I wanted to find a way to tell this story without garnering an influx of pity. This happened years ago, so like I said- don’t feel bad for me. I get myself into these situations. I was totally blind to the red flags waving wildly in my face from the start. Warning: you will cringe. I will cringe. We will all cringe together.

This guy reached out to me the only way that guys in Los Angeles know how- Instagram direct message. We had some mutual friends so his message wasn’t totally out of the blue. We messaged back and forth for a few weeks. I found out he makes music and has a good sense of humor. I’m a sucker for anyone who can make me laugh. Plus, he’s from my neighboring hometown, so it seemed like we had a lot in common.

One day over the summer, I was bored out of my mind. Legitimately all of my friends were out of town. I was apartment-sitting for them. He FaceTimed me, invited me over, and hit me with one of the worst lines I’ve ever heard to date: “do you want to fall in love today?”

Yes, you read that right. And yes, I did go over. I told him I was working on some stuff (writing a blog entry, about his friend HA) so I brought over my computer to get my work done. He was working on some his music, so it all worked out. From the second I came over, he had his own music playing. Nonstop.

We did some stuff around the area: went to Trader Joe’s, went to the car wash, kissed on his rooftop. I don’t mean like a nicely renovated rooftop with a pool and seating area, I mean like a roof that was not meant for people to visit. We crawled up on a small brick half-wall, and pebbles got stuck in my feet. There was a very suspicious single plastic lounge chair that seemed out-of-place, in retrospect. I doubt I’m the first girl he’s brought to this lounge chair.

Despite it all, I enjoyed myself. It was fun to be spontaneous and not overthink things for once. I felt comfortable kissing him, and he might be the only person in the world more affectionate than I am. Everything seemed to be going fine. A few of my friends warned me to be careful, but I took him at face value. I was having fun. Simple as that.

A few days later, he invited me to a house party after I got off work. The party was totally normal, except for the fact that every single person there had multi-million Instagram followers, blue check marks, and some even featured on Ellen. I felt very out of place.

He asked if I wanted to sleepover at his place, and I said sure, that it sounded like fun. There I was, having fun, enjoying myself, and not thinking too far into it.

All of that was fine. We stayed up late kissing, talking, and watching tv. The next morning we woke up around noon. Not five minutes later, his roommates came busting through the front door shouting, “we’re going to Vegas! We’re seeing two YouTubers get married! We’re leaving in five minutes! Either you’re coming or you’re not!”

(2021 note: the two YouTubers in question have since divorced. The night prior, the guy mocked me for enjoying these specific YouTuber’s content. Twelve hours later, he’s jumping at a chance to attend their massive wedding party. I digress.)

I gathered my things to head home. I packed up my purse and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to decide whether or not to go on the road trip. I was not invited nor was I prepared to drop everything a poorly planned Vegas trip. I also know better than to invite myself to an invite-only event. Meanwhile, people were walking in, walking out, on the phone, on FaceTime, sorting out last minute details for this spontaneous trip. The entire apartment was pure chaos. I quietly checked my phone, staying out of the way, still waiting on a decision.

I got lost in whatever social media I was checking, and time escaped me. It must have been about five minutes of total silence before I noticed- it was a little too quiet. The front door was still open, so I figured the group must just be packing up the car. At the moment, I received a FaceTime call. From this guy. From inside a moving vehicle.

I went blind with rage. The guy had left me, alone in his apartment, in his bed, door wide open, failed to say goodbye, for a clout chasing trip to Vegas. I said some less-than-polite things on that call, and left the apartment, deliberately not closing the door behind me. I got about 5 steps out of the apartment, still on FaceTime, when I realized, I could raid the closet and help myself to anything that helps me sleep better at night. So that’s what I did. And then I actually left. Door wide open. I could have and probably should have done worse, but I was blinded by my own rage.

The next few days were filled with a lot of wine, Hannah B’s season of the Bachelorette, and multiple phone calls in attempt to help this person understand the basics of human decency. The wine and the reality tv made the phone calls about one hundred times more dramatic than necessary, but hey, that’s part of the flair. I legitimately heard Hannah B in my ear saying- “I’m about to go psycho.” on repeat. Which is exactly what I did. The words “cold bitch” may have been used to describe me. He wasn’t wrong.

Many months and multiple apologies later (even a short song ~inspired~ by me), I let him take me to a Chainsmokers concert. Not FIVE seconds into the drive, someone hit his beloved vintage car on a busy street and ran.

That’s when I knew karma is a cold bitch.

#dating #comedy #single

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chiseler · 3 years

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Ginger Rogers: Curse of the Working Class

A natural-born mimic, ham, tease, hard worker, stoic follower and out-of-reach babe, Ginger Rogers has proven one of the most difficult to define of all the 1930s Hollywood stars. At her best she was a synonym for fun and high spirits while also conveying a dignified and skeptical kind of resistance to other people, and these contradictory impulses made her one of the most special and ambiguous performers of her time. Rogers excelled in her first seven musicals with Fred Astaire and in several of her comedy vehicles and even in some of the programmers she churned out in the early 1930s. She was beloved, and rightly so.

In Stage Door (1937), Rogers gives one of the most distinctive, most suggestive, and most perfectly judged performances of the period, molding every one of her bone-dry, wisecracking line readings (and what lines she has in that movie!) into something pleasurable, something unexpected, even something profound, delivering them all with her guarded, in-transit sort of face.

I’ve seen Stage Door probably more times than I’ve seen any other movie, but I always notice something new in it, some new line, some new angle. As a kid, I didn’t really understand the source of Rogers’s misgivings here, which is the same source that animates her outrageously and inventively bitchy yet somehow tender and worldly fights with Linda (Gail Patrick), her high-falutin’ former roommate. Linda is the mistress of Anthony Powell (Adolphe Menjou), a powerful Broadway producer. When Powell sees Rogers’s Jean Maitland rehearsing a dance routine, his little weasel eyes light up with lust. He thinks she’s just playing hard to get when she makes her habitual mordant jokes at him, but she is really just trying to delay the inevitable. She wants no part of sleeping with a man for his money not because she thinks it’s morally wrong, per se, but because she’s basically too tired-out to go through those motions.

Jean is so disenchanted that the disenchantment seems to be leading her to some kind of drastic change. She talks herself into going out with Powell but gets out of sleeping with him by getting, or pretending to get, disruptively yet vaguely drunk. Jean gets drunk the way she does everything else, at some very unusual kind of steady and wary behavioral half-mast. She cracks wise as a matter of course, but she sleeps with a doll and she plays a ukulele. These cute details don’t seem to fit her character, but they do express the divided character of the woman who was playing her.

Jean stumbles home from Powell’s penthouse to her new roommate Terry (Katharine Hepburn), a rich girl with airily la-di-da attitudes about life and the theater. Hepburn had not endeared herself to Rogers with her much-repeated remark about Rogers’s partnership with Astaire: “He gives her class and she gives him sex.” The competitive rivalry between Hepburn’s upper-class pretension and Rogers’s low-burning common sense is the heart of their conflict in Stage Door, and this conflict and mutual dislike reads as pure chemistry on screen, just as it did for Rogers with Astaire.

There is such chemistry between Jean and Terry that Stage Door has always been a kind of closeted lesbian classic just waiting to burst into full-on Sapphic love. Terry has no love interest and shows zero interest in acquiring one, while Jean looks more than ready to give up on poor, unreliable young men and rich, sexually demanding older men like Powell. Jean and Terry, in fact, are perfect for each other and wind up with each other, and in the last scene Rogers reaches a kind of epiphany as she reacts to their friend Judy (Lucille Ball) leaving New York to get married. “At least she’ll have a couple of kids to keep her company in her old age, and what’ll we have?” she asks. “Some broken-down memories and an old scrapbook that nobody’ll look at.”

I first saw Stage Door when I was eight years old. Now that I’m well into adulthood, these last few lines that Rogers tosses off with such face-the-facts casualness have the force of revelation, as if she has finally washed up on the shores of some final philosophy. They predict the real lives of both Hepburn and Rogers (though some people still do want to leaf through those particular scrapbooks) and Terry and Jean, and everybody else for whom the easy way and the conventional way of living will never fit or will never be acceptable.

Rogers was capable of that tough-minded and frank and bleak attitude on screen, but in life and in general she was actually, and alarmingly, one of the most clueless of stars, never quite knowing what it was that people liked about her. Starting as early 1938, the year she made Vivacious Lady and Carefree, something peculiar started to happen to Rogers. After years of the most unlikely and enormous success in her Astaire films, where she was up to any dance challenge he gave her and where her timing in both musical and comic and dramatic scenes was magically sharp, her timing started to go horribly awry. Rogers began to be afflicted by self-consciousness, miscalculation, cutesiness, self-infatuated archness and flashes of deep-rooted mean-mindedness. She slipped back into her best controlled star mode in several films after that year, but she started to deteriorate more and more by the mid-1940s, almost as if someone had put a curse on her.

Rogers was born Virginia McMath in Independence, Missouri in 1911. Her formidable mother Lela Rogers was a writer for silent films and a journalist, and she was seemingly joined at the hip to her daughter. It was Rogers who wanted a career as an actress, and Lela resisted this at first, but when Ginger won a Charleston contest Mama Lela knew which way the wind was blowing. She poured all of her own considerable energy and ambition into making Ginger a star and keeping her one (that first name supposedly came about because a cousin couldn’t pronounce the name Virginia).

At the height of her stardom, when Rogers was sent the script of The Hard Way (1943), she wonderingly said, “This is the story of my life,” and turned it down. In that movie, Ida Lupino works like a demon to get her malleable kid sister (Joan Leslie) into show business, and the comparison is not flattering to Lela, who made a fool of herself testifying before HUAC as an expert on Communist infiltration of Hollywood, citing particularly the time when Rogers had to say Dalton Trumbo’s line, “Share and share alike, that’s democracy” in Tender Comrade (1943). Lela herself actually turns up playing Ginger’s mother in Billy Wilder’s The Major and the Minor (1942), and she’s a rather low-key presence, but she talks and moves like a woman who has power and feels no need to make any outward show of it.

In that Wilder movie, Rogers spends most of her time pretending to be a twelve-year old, and this uneasy reversion to little-girlhood was one of her most troubling fallback modes. She had made her first successes on stage with “baby talk monologues” written by Lela, and her early style, as seen in films like Young Man of Manhattan (1930) and Honor Among Lovers (1931), was very much a hold-over from the 1920s, a Betty Boop baby vamp persona that was more suited to cameo roles than to leads (Claudette Colbert, the star of Young Man of Manhattan, gently mocks these baby affectations after meeting Rogers’s character).

She churned out lots of low-budget programmers in 1932, and in 1933 she made ten films. In two of those, 42nd Street and Gold Diggers of 1933, Rogers nearly steals the show in fairly small parts. As Anytime Annie, a notoriously obliging chorus girl in 42nd Street, Rogers is first seen wearing a monocle and affecting a grand manner accent, and this was the first sign of her aptitude for two-faced disguise. As Manuel Puig once said of Ann-Margret, Rogers is anything but reassuring.

She’s close to surreal in her gold-coin outfit singing “We’re in the Money” with pig Latin verse in Gold Diggers of 1933, looking directly into the camera and not flinching as it travels all the way up to her face. Rogers gobbled up attention like that, and she had what it took, but she needed something or someone to stabilize her. When she strips down to her slip and stockings and gyrates in Professional Sweetheart (1933), an outraged Norman Foster spanks and then punches her, the first in an increasingly ominous series of punishments that would shadow her later career.

In the very horny Pre-Code musical Flying Down to Rio (1933), her first film with Astaire, Rogers is a hot mama, singing and swaying to “Music Makes Me” in a vagina power dress that even Marilyn Monroe might have rejected as too overt. When they dance “The Carioca,” Astaire starts out holding his head slightly away from Rogers, as if she might be diseased, but by the end their electric chemistry has fully kicked in.

Astaire had spent his youth dancing with his sister Adele and didn’t want to get stuck with another steady partner. Rogers had her eye on dramatic parts, announcing to an incredulous press that she wanted to play Joan of Arc. She was an ambitious and competitive person, and she knew that she was not even close to Astaire’s Olympian league as a dancer. But that’s part of the magic of their series of films, in which Rogers improves as a dancer bit by bit until she is fully capable of following his every step.

Astaire objected that no one would believe Rogers as an English girl in The Gay Divorcee (1934), and surely no one could mistake her for English, but this part gave her the reserve that she intriguingly used and toyed with for her best years as a star. Like most first sexual experiences between two people, their first real romantic dance together in that film, “Night and Day,” is both exciting and a little awkward. In their follow-up Roberta (1935), Rogers looks tense during their slow “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” routine, but she comes wonderfully alive when they casually tap to “Hard to Handle,” their first really great dance together.

She was always at her best in the lively comic numbers, where her wacky energy seems to warm Astaire, but she worked hard at the dramatic routines, so that when they do “Let’s Face the Music and Dance” in Follow the Fleet (1936), Rogers has somehow ascended up to Astaire’s level as a dancer. It must have taken nearly super-human will, but she did it, and audiences saw and felt her progress, and they loved it because it meant that anything was possible if you worked hard enough, even dancing like or with Fred Astaire.

Astaire didn’t like her feather dress for the “Cheek to Cheek” dance in Top Hat (1935), and you can see why he didn’t: it’s a little tacky. Costumer Walter Plunkett said Rogers always wanted to “add a crepe paper orchid or a string of beads or some goddamned feathered thing. She just never could resist little improvements.” But her feather dress in Top Hat does move beautifully when she dances, even if we do see some of the feathers floating away from them, as if she’s molting.

A more characteristic and winning image of her comes in the way she hikes up her skirt in the “Pick Yourself Up” number in Swing Time, which has a deeply charming kind of put-on nonchalance, or in the soldier-like way she executes a series of brutally exacting turns at the end of the “Never Gonna Dance” finale toward the end of that movie (while she shot this scene, her feet started to bleed in her shoes). One of the real pleasures of American moviegoing is watching Rogers as Astaire sings a love song to her: she would listen so intently, with barely any change of expression, but with such sensitive receptivity behind her eyes and in the set of her mouth.

People like to wonder if Astaire and Rogers hated each other. Maybe there were moments when they did, but mainly they just resented being tied together as a team, and those misgivings are part of what give their partnership and their best dances such impact, such crackle. Rogers reported in her autobiography that Astaire had taken her out on dates in New York when they were both working in theater, and at the end of one such date he gave her “a kiss that would never have passed the Hays Office Code!” But when they worked together in films, Astaire was married to a woman he adored, and he was a distant taskmaster in the killer rehearsal sessions for their dance routines. His friends, cultivated when he played on stage in London in the 1920s, were the English gentry. Rogers was not his cup of tea, and he made that known to her in subtle ways. She said either, and he said eye-ther, and they wanted to call the whole thing off, but no one else ever did.

In the many years after their partnership ended, they were still stuck with each other, and they both still resented that. Rogers would sometimes make friendly overtures to Astaire, and he would politely but firmly put her off, and this led to hurt feelings for her, so much so that she didn’t even go to his American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony. Film scholar Joseph McBride helped to put together that evening, and when I asked him about it, he remembered Astaire saying, “I suppose we’ll have to have Ginger,” in an irritated voice. When she didn’t come to the ceremony, it seemed like sour grapes on her part, but it had been made clear to Rogers that Astaire only wanted the bare minimum to do with her, and so she withdrew. It would do well to remember, of course, just how obnoxious Rogers could be. If you want to feel the full force of that, just look at any number of the films she made from 1944 to 1964 and you’ll see one garishly misplayed, mistimed performance after another, including the last one she did with Astaire, The Barkleys of Broadway (1949), where her dramatic aspirations were mocked and then the mockery was unintentionally confirmed when she did a goggle-eyed recreation of Sarah Bernhardt reciting the Marseillaise.

So what happened to Rogers? Why did she lose all of the qualities that had made her a star right after her stardom was confirmed? Many writers have tried to explain it. Analyzing Astaire and Rogers in The Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers Book (1972), Arlene Croce says, “She’s an American classic, just as he is: common clay that we prize above exotic marble. The difference between them is that he knew it and she didn’t. Rogers always wanted to be something more. Probably no other major star has so severely tried the loyalty of her public by constantly changing her appearance and her style.” In his book Romantic Comedy (1987), James Harvey writes, “Can there be any other major star who was so variable, even from film to film, as she was?”

Harvey blames George Stevens, who directed maybe the finest Astaire/Rogers film, Swing Time (1936). He sees a softening of her character in the straight scenes in Swing Time, but the rot really sets in with Vivacious Lady, a romantic comedy that has all the elements for success but perversely ruins them with its taffy-pull pacing, its willful lack of coordination, its leaning on jags and cutesiness and bizarre sequences like the fight scene between Rogers and a rival that devolves into a series of unmoving tableaus broken only by a coy laugh from Rogers, as if Stevens wanted to turn her into Frank McHugh. In the same year, in Carefree with Astaire, Rogers exhibits such unpleasant sadism when her character is under hypnosis that it feels like a revelation of some inner nastiness that had always been prudently hidden from view.

The damage was reversed in Bachelor Mother (1939), a working girl comedy that has no right to be as charming as it is, where Rogers added a kind of moony dreaminess to her repertoire of personas. She then made two films for Stage Door director Gregory La Cava, 5th Avenue Girl (1939) and Primrose Path (1940). In her second La Cava film, Rogers is so deadpan that it reads as a lack of basic vitality, a first in her career; it’s as if La Cava is unearthing the suicidal or even homicidal side of Jean Maitland. “People annoy me,” she says in that movie, and boy does she mean it. In Stage Door, when Powell tells Jean he wants to put her name in big electric lights, she says, “Gotta be big enough to keep people away.” La Cava is the director who understood Rogers the most, discerning something anti-social and solitary behind her sunny audience-pleasing looks and manner. In Primrose Path, he cast her as a teenager who breaks away from her family before she joins their prostitution racket, and her work in that movie is stark, clean, unsentimental.

Rogers won an Oscar for Kitty Foyle (1940), and many have dated her decline from that point, even if she is modestly touching in what is a modest working girl soap opera. She was close to unbearable in Tom, Dick and Harry (1941), where director Garson Kanin seems to dote on every moment of her self-indulgent performance as a dumb and narcissistic telephone operator who must choose between three suitors. Something about playing dumb here makes Rogers’s style seem laborious and throws her timing all out of whack, yet the following year, in Roxie Hart (1942), she certainly gets her laughs with her broad playing of a very dumb murderess who lives for publicity and likes to do the Black Bottom for reporters. In her segment in Tales of Manhattan (1942), you want to say to her, “OK, you can have all that hair on the top of your head or you can have all that hair fanning over your back, but you can’t have both, Ginger.”

Leo McCarey’s Once Upon a Honeymoon (1942) did her no favors, but most writers agree that the real coup de grâce in her career was Lady in the Dark (1944), a Technicolor movie of the psychoanalytical stage musical that had starred Gertrude Lawrence. Rogers insisted on playing it, and she was at loggerheads with director Mitchell Leisen and Paramount studio chief Buddy DeSylva, who vengefully cut most of the Kurt Weill songs from the film. All in all, the mercifully little-seen Lady in the Dark looks now almost as if it had been made in a spirit of deliberate sabotage. It is has to be the most nastily misogynist of any major studio production of this time, constantly hammering home the idea that Rogers’s Liza Elliott is an unnatural woman unhealthily attached to her work, and her leading man Ray Milland warrants particular scorn here for the gleefulness he brings to the scenes where he humiliates Rogers’s character. In the one extended musical number Rogers has, “The Saga of Jenny,” she doesn’t seem to have been given any choreography or direction and she can barely move in the outfit Leisen designed for her. “After Lady in the Dark there was nothing left of the Rogers character,” wrote Croce. “She died on the analyst’s couch.”

Rogers’s career proceeded only through sheer determination on her part (and on Lela’s part). She floundered in an updated remake of Grand Hotel (1932) called Week-end at the Waldorf (1945), and the next twenty years of her career were a real trial for her fans from the 1930s. Howard Hawks’s Monkey Business (1952) was supposed to be about scientist Cary Grant reverting to childhood when he drinks an elixir of youth, but Rogers insisted that she “wanted to do the kid thing too,” and so she ripped into scene after scene of coarse-grained youthful impersonation, the wise child of her early ‘30s character bearing rotten and poisonously un-watchable fruit. Cast as a hardened gangster’s moll in Phil Karlson’s Tight Spot (1955), Rogers is so heavy-handed and slow and cutesey with her dialogue that the effect is ghastly. If I were to make a simple diagnosis of her problems in the last half of her film career, I’d say that she caught a bad case of George Stevens-itis and never got over it (she had an affair with the married director during Vivacious Lady, which had Lela up in arms).

When she worked with a fine and sensitive director, as she did with Frank Borzage for Magnificent Doll (1946) and with Edmund Goulding for Teenage Rebel (1956), Rogers was still capable of restrained and acceptable if somewhat colorless work. But hateful things kept happening to her. In something like Storm Warning (1951), where she does battle with the Ku Klux Klan while also doing a transposed version of A Streetcar Named Desire, it seemed as if someone behind the scenes wanted to see Rogers punished. When Steve Cochran attacks her in Storm Warning, the scene is so prolonged that finally it is Rogers being humiliated and hurt, not the character she is playing.

Rogers went through five husbands, including the pacifistic and beautiful Lew Ayres, and most of them lasted for a couple of years, but Lela was her real partner for life. The last husband, William Marshall, got her to play a madam in a dire film shot in Jamaica, variously known as The Confession and Quick, Let’s Get Married (1964), and after that low point she made only Harlow (1965), where she was intriguingly cast as Jean Harlow’s mother, before retaining her star status in long-running stage stints in Hello, Dolly! on Broadway and Mame in London. After that came a little TV and nightclub work, where she ended most of her songs with a corny wink to the audience. A Christian Scientist like her beloved or at least inescapable mother, Rogers refused medical treatment after having a stroke, and she was ill for several years before dying in 1995.

The last forty-five or so years of Rogers’s long career basically ran on fumes of good will from her first twelve years in movies, and particularly those Fred Astaire musicals that she preferred to forget. Like many actors, Rogers had no real center or base that was really her, and this lack of center meant that she was able to in effect be something she wasn’t with Astaire, and transcendently so, but it also meant that bad habits and instincts were ready to rush in and overwhelm her when her guard was down.

“May I rescue you?” Astaire asks her in Top Hat, to which she snaps, “No, I prefer being in distress.” The Astaire/Rogers films are so romantic because part of her resistance is that she is suspicious of romance, and maybe she doesn’t believe in it at all. That lack of belief was what made her so sexy beyond her God-given but worked-on perfect figure (“Women weren’t born with silk stockings on, you know,” she says in Follow the Fleet). Look at how cool and unreachable she is when Fred is singing his heart out to her during “Never Gonna Dance” in Swing Time. She preached that God is Love and soda fountains were forever, but in her best work with Astaire and in Stage Door, she let darker and more movingly yearning things cloud her almost cartoonishly pretty brow, and those things are what should define her and what should be remembered.

by Dan Callahan

#Dan Callahan #The Chiseler #Ginger Rogers

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that. (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind. I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep. Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row??? So we might see her right away?? No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before? Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave. --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What? Is she reading a childrens’ book? --Oh. She’s eulogizing Gamzee. So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person. (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point. Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup??? --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side. That would make sense. You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much? Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again? Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it. ...Huh. Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia. Phew! Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here? Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense? And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah. I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them. That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way. You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm. It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL. Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something. And a black tail? This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe. Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress. Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN. I don’t see anything over her mouth! Did she stick something in it, or drug her? File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair. Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then? --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember. Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade? I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun. AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl. How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK. Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like. Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts? Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text? What color exactly... “#D00009”? Huh. That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707. In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago... no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color. (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out? That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image! FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power. Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!? D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right? Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear? I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck? WHY would you do that? Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”? What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh? Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden. Properly dramatic? You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative. Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now. From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring. I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um. What? Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again??? Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping. I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though. Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads. (But still June. Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course. (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty? We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence. (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit. And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve. Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her? Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion. Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh. Hm... huh? hhhh. huh? what, but. Why would. ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange. Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?) Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave? Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe? Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update. Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed. For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it? Or skimming it? But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that. Weird. Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here. About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really? That was speculated about? :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything.

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side. To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers. Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up. Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character.

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out.

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy. --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid... but I think we can make an exception here? I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half. Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria?

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight. BUSY day I had. Y’all take care!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #Homestuck Commentary

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zoetekohana · 7 years

Note

Asking this because of that top notch Michi rec post you made: Top 5 Michi Fics.

Oh, thank you so much! I’m really pleased to hear youliked my Michi rec post. ♡ (*Here* it is for those who want to check it out.)

To be honest, it’s really not easy to make a top fiveof Michi fics for two reasons: 1. I love way more than five Michi fics and it’dbe difficult to rank them. 2. I’ve been reading Michi fics ever since 2004.Granted I haven’t read every single one of them. And there are so many stories that I really, really loved but have been deleted in that twelve year time span. (I’m going to include those anyways, though.)

Let’s give it a try…

I’d first like to discuss a few Michi stories I reallylike that just didn’t make the cut to my top five, but still deserve a special mention:

⚘Thin Lines byHemsee Apparently this got deleted? I only found out about this yesterday, because I started checking the links on my Michi masterpost, but evidently it’s been deleted instead. Which is unfortunate because I was really eager to know how the relationship between Taichi and Mimi would further develop. Plus, Hemsee really has a clean, beautiful writing style that is so wonderful to read. I hope she creates a new multi-chaptered Michi story, though.

⚘ All Good Things by Hemsee Luckily, her Michi oneshot is still there. It tells the story of how Mimi and Taichi’s relationship developed throughout the years since their childhood and how they gradually fell in love and got together.

⚘ anchor me back down by dianaagronSimilarly to “All Good Things”, this story follows their relationship from the very beginning, since kindergarten, in a wonderful will they/won’t they-kind of way, to their mid-twenties. While I do love both stories (what can I say, I’m a major sucker for slow-burns), I do prefer ambd over agt. Plus how can anyone dislike a story inspired by that beautiful song by Mindy Gledhill?

⚘ Snow by hello heartbreak I recently re-read this story and loved it just as much as I did ten years ago. Ngl it hurts seeing my beloved Chosen in such pain, but this story is so touching. I also believe this is the fic that generated my headcanon that Mimi would have trouble transferring back to Japan and have trouble speaking/studying the language. Lo and behold, ten years later that headcanon actually came true in tri!

⚘ Buttons by BenignUser This story is just so adorable! It makes me melt every time I read it. (I believe I’ve read this oneshot five times. What is my life, haha?) But really, it’s so fun, so cute and definitely worth your while.

⚘ keep it classy by hellyeahayumichan This is a collection of four (slightly nsfw) drabbles for Michi, Sorato, Takari and Kenyako. It’s just such a great read! I really admire the subtle descriptions. Hellyeahayumichan has such a way with words. (And even though it’s not fic, I highly, highly recommend checking out her Michi art! Each and every one of her drawings are amazing. I envy her colouring skills in particular.)

⚘ Parallels by Scripturiens There are no words to describe how amazing this artwork is. And I stress the word art, because it’s really an interesting exercise in writing by putting the different pieces out of order so that all the nuances of the thoughts and the actions of the characters come together with such care. Amazing structure aside, it’s a nice piece that so wonderfully conveys emotion, especially heartbreak. I love it so much, and now I want to go re-read it….

⚘ Whispers at night by ribbonedcuriosa To this day I’m still so happy I requested a Digimon story set in the Star Wars universe from ribbonedcuriosa, because she took it and fabricated this lovely ficlet. She merged both franchises so fluently, it’s inspiring. The Michi is subtle here, but I love subtle implied pairings when it comes to the adventure genre. I honestly crave more of this story. Forever crossing my fingers for a continuation.

After contemplating long and hard over it, I now present you my TOP FIVE MICHI STORIES:

05 ⚘What Women Want by StarlillyWe start of with one of the most popular Michi fics on FF.net. And that’s understandable, because this story is so much fun! I believe I started reading it not long, just a couple of months, after it was completed. I’m even planning on re-reading after finals, so my little review here is based on my memory of when I read it late 2005.

First there is something I have to confess (again, I’m sure I’ve stated this before, but just to be clear I’ll state it once more) that I don’t really like it when authors use the dubbed names in fics. I prefer reading Taichi Yagami over Tai Kamiya, very much so. I didn’t like it back when I started reading Michi fics in 2004/2005 and I still don’t now. That said, I won’t turn a fic down because the author chose to use the dubbed names. I do like to give it at least a try. (I sound so picky now…) And in this case: I loved the “What Women Want” film back then (still do, I rewatched it this year), so there was no way I wouldn’t read a Michi fic based on that film. And honestly, Starlilly took the premise and really made it her own while developing the relationship between Taichi and Mimi so well.

04 ⚘ Falling’s not the problem by ribbonedcuriosaAhhhh, this story is so good! I was eagerly awaiting the next part to beta each time because it’s just so good. I absolutely love how curiosa jumped back and forth from past to present to showcase how Mimi and Taichi got to the point where they were in the beginning and how their lives further developed since then. And she did it so fluidly. Also her characterizations of both Taichi and Mimi are so well-done.

03 ⚘Come to Me by Pied Piper + Only Alive by Pied PiperI’m sure you all knew beforehand that at least one Pied Piper story would make my top five, and here’s the first one… Sorry, first two. Okay, I know I’m cheating here by putting both these stories on the number three slot and therefore haven’t whittled my list down to five fics but six. But for the life of me, I can not chose between these two!

I’ll talk about Come to Me first. I really love this story so much because it’s so real, so relatable. There were so many moments where I just nodded understandingly, because it was so realistic. And I talked before how I love slow-burns, well, this fic is one of the ultimate slow-burns I’ve ever read. I really enjoyed reading about their journey from how they became friends first to actually falling for each other, but being apprehensive first considering they were still dealing with their heartbreak from a previous relationship, to finally arriving at their destination together which felt so earned. It was so beautiful beyond comprehension. (PS: I still have a half-finished fanart of it lying around.)

Moving onto Only Alive now… I’m confident my good friend Sunny is going to love the fact that I included this fic into my top three. Back in the beginning of 2009 when we discovered our mutual passion for digimon as well for Michi through a meme on my livejournal (we befriended over Avatar first), she told me that this was her most favourite Michi story. Somehow I hadn’t read it then yet. (Seriously, what was wrong with me?) So, at her recommendation, I read the first chapter and I immediately wrote back to her that I was in love with this story already. There was a certain passage in the first chapter that stood out to me, because it was the perfect Michi interaction:

So he asked her to dinner, sending a written apology note down to her small cubicle several stories below his feet.

She replied almost instantly: Jackass.

He responded: Pick you up at eight?

She agreed: Buy me flowers, too.

Ah, Mimi, Mimi. How he missed someone who could talk back without fear. Welcome home, he grinned to himself.

To me, Michi is so compatible, because their personalities just go well together. They’re both headstrong but they’re both also very passionate and kind. I love seeing them portrayed with the whole “love to tease you” dynamic. And that passage in OA is an excellent example of that. Honestly, Pied Piper has such an exquisite grasp on these characters. I knew then that this fic was going to be splendid, and boy, did it deliver! I read it in the course of three evenings.

I will forever love both these stories. Then again I will forever love all the stories Pied Piper wrote. Just thinking about them makes me want to re-read every single one of them (except that I sadly lost a couple over the years…)

02 ⚘ Creative License by R.vdPI’m kind of cheating again, haha, because technically this wasn’t really Michi. Daikeru, a ship I love so much next to Michi (thanks to this fic actually), was the main pairing of this story, but Michi was definitely heavily featured. But I just loved this story so much! Unfortunately it was deleted several years ago. (Around 2007, iirc.)

That being said, I still feel lucky to have read this story. I can’t begin to explain how amazing it was! It was so cleverly constructed. Each chapter focused on a certain aspect of the story, and with each chapter we learned more and more what happened to these characters in the past and how they’re ultimately connected to other characters. It was all intricately interwoven. The writing style was also so crisp, so poetic, so inspiring. Plus, while the Michi was very angsty, it was very hot. I still haven’t read a nsfw Michi that came close to their scenes in this story.

01 ⚘ My Captain’s Lady by Pied PiperIs there any surprise that MCL is my ultimate favourite?

The truth is: This isn’t just my favourite Michi fic. This isn’t even just my favourite Digimon fic. This is my ultimate favourite fic ever.

It was the very first fic that got me so hooked. I started reading MCL after chapter fifteen or so (don’t remember the exact chapter anymore, since y’know, it was eleven years ago) and kept checking for the next update. It was really bad with the final chapter, because it was New Year’s Eve and I continuously pressed refresh so eagerly awaiting the update and then when it was finally there I read it between the different courses of dinner.

I loved it so much that I was raving about it non-stop to my best friend that she, who hadn’t watched a single episode of digimon, even wanted to read it. So I lend her my binder of MCL and I like that she texted me her thoughts a few times. I kept those texts, even after ten years, until I had to buy a new phone last summer.

Sentimental experiences aside, the story itself is just so epic. It had everything: an intriguing plot, an amazing build-up, lots of suspense and action, and of course a compelling romance between Taichi and Mimi. Once again, the journey of the characters and their relationship was so moving and so captivating. And I loved every step of the way.

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nymanfrancis1990 · 4 years

Text

Text Your Ex Back Pdf Astonishing Useful Ideas

Countless couples breakup everyday and stopped living voice messages...This is not what she is going to show it as much.The better the second she realizes you're no longer sexually attracted to you?This is always the best way to get her back in the beginning.

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How To Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend When He Has Moved On

#Text Your Ex Back Pdf Astonishing Useful Ideas #Ex Boyfriend Doesnt Want Me Back

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richmeganews · 5 years

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We Spoke to 'Shazam!' Actor Zachary Levi About Finally Landing a Superhero Role

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Imagine being a comics head and self-professed nerd, only to age into a good-looking 6-foot-4 tall dude being paid to wear literal spandex and capes. This is actor Zachary Levi in 2019, and he’s living his best life now.

“The whole time I was really hoping they wouldn’t change their minds,” he told VICE when speaking of his role as DC’s Shazam!, which opens today. “It’s probably why I peed in the suit, to mark my territory.”

The comedic actor best known for his role as the titular character in Chuck, joins the whole superhero cape squad playing a character once famous for standing toe to toe with Supes in the 1940s. In terms of an origin, it’s your basic 1940s comic plot—a young Billy Batson basically comes across an Egyptian wizard who gifts him with the transformative power and wisdom of the gods. From there, all it takes is a shout of “Shazam!” to turn a kid into a grown adult with a thunder signia.

Like I said, 1940s.

It’s been an up-and-down ride for DC since Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies wrapped up, especially compared to the mammoth success of Marvel. Wonder Woman set a critically beloved tone, Aquaman made a billion dollars, but there’s also been terrible movies like Justice League and Suicide Squad. Currently, Shazam!—modern DC’s most kid-friendly movie to date—is holding a 92% Rotten Tomato score, so things could be looking up for DC in 2019, especially given the anticipation over the Joker film.

Either way, it’s all exciting stuff and VICE had a chance to talk to Zachary Levi about his ideas around heroism, and why he sees it as important to eliminate the toxicity around the term “nerd.”

VICE: Given how much you’ve professed to being a nerd, It’s got to be an exciting moment for you right now. Zachary Levi: Oh dude, it’s such an exciting moment right now, and surreal if I’m going to be honest. I keep trying to explain it to family and friends and the words always fail me. It’s just groovy I’m super grateful.

I feel like you’ve been campaigning to be a superhero for a while though. I don’t know if I’ve campaigned that much, but I’ll say that it’s not lost on anyone that I find that whole superhero world to be delightful. Many know that I grew up reading comic books playing video-games, and still do. So I guess I was lucky enough to have gravitated toward those worlds, whether it was the Thor franchise or the Heroes series. I often thought that it wouldn’t go beyond that. It would be my one play and that superhero comic book moment I did that one time. But here I am, essentially reborn into the DC universe, wearing the whole spandex and cape deal.

But tell me how you really feel as a regular guy. How does it feel to take on this character? It’s really a mix of feelings. There’s the elation I felt as the kid in me, where I was like holy shit, this is so cool. But then there was the actor in me, who’s been doing this for 20 years while being blessed to be kicking around auditioning rooms in Hollywood, TV, and film for a while. That was a real sobering moment. I didn’t think it was going to happen. And I suppose the irony of life is that things happen when you least expect them to.

When I took the time to really think about it all with a clear and sober head, I realized how a role like this was something that was very rare to land in my lap. There are a ton of actors constantly vying for this. And sure, I’ve been very successful by some people’s measurements, but I didn’t think I was that successful to be honest. I wasn’t that famous guy who was going to lead anything, especially as a superhero in a movie of this caliber. For the longest time, I’ve been a journeyman actor, but DC still believed in me. I wanted to honor that along with the character. Shazam’s been around for 80 years. That’s 80 years of fans going out of their way to support a guy once known as Captain Marvel who couldn’t sell like his Batman and Superman counterparts. That’s an incredibly deep, cool, and rich lineage. The whole time I was really hoping they wouldn’t change their minds. It’s probably why I peed in the suit to mark my territory.

What do you draw from when you have to play a hero that’s a 14-year-old kid with the wisdom of an elder like Shazam ? Fortunately for me, and unfortunately for my parents and the girls I dated in the past, I’ve refused to grow up, I’m guessing that was a part of the ingredients. I’ve definitely tried to embrace the actual unit of responsibility and accountability that is important as you mature. But I’ve also tried to maintain the things that keep me young. My imagination, humor, heart, and wonder. Beyond the role, these are the joys I genuinely try to practice and that I believe in. Whether it be video games, comic books, movies or just being silly with friends. I could only assume that it was the special sauce that DC needed to give me the job. A grown ass man who was believably young at heart.

I kept having to remind myself not to overthink moments. We as adults overthink constantly, but kids are just feeling their way through life. They’re kind of reactionary, and very in the moment. They’re totally free to be silly. I was reminded of that every day through working with kids in this movie. It’s like, just have fun with it and be silly with them. Hell, I brought my Nintendo Switch and hooked it up for some multiplayer, those little things helped. As far as the wisdom, when you think about it, intellect and wisdom are two very different things. There are kids who may not be informed, but they display wisdom in other ways and through their perspectives. It’s not mutually exclusive.

What’s our definition of a nerd in 2019? Because there’s a lot of negative connotations being associated with it on a more toxic fandom level. There’s a lot of really cool momentum with the term. For the longest time, there was a derogatory connotation around it that had more to do with appearances. The stereotypical horn-rimmed glasses and pocket detectors types who were super into science, technology, video games, and all that, which by the way, I am all of those things minus the glasses and pocket detector. If we’re being honest, it’s fictitious term. It was made up by Dr. Seuss and it has nothing to do with any of the things I just mentioned. Either way, one of the things I’ve tried to do with my former company Nerd Machine, and event company, Nerd HQ, is find ways to foster conversations that re-examine the word.

As far as I’m concerned, being nerdy means you’re passionate. You could be a cards, fashion, makeup, sports, or gym nerd. It’s whatever. I just use it synonymously with passion. I think it helps by making it a more inclusive term, and one that embraces nerdiness through whatever you’re passionate about. It’s such a joke that you’ve got these stereotypical nerds attending comic-con or cosplaying, and then you’ve got the average jock who’s prone to making fun of these people for dressing up as cartoon, video game, or anime character. These are the same sports fans that go to a football game without a shirt on while dosing themselves with colors and random headgear. That’s fucking cosplay too. It’s the same thing [laughs]. Let’s just be honest about it and not yuck each other up. Let everyone embrace what they love as long as it isn’t a negative to others.

You’re also some who grew up reading about heroes as you’ve already mentioned in this interview. What does it mean to be a hero in 2019 with your adult lens? My idea of what a hero is, is pretty much what I always thought I hero was. It’s something that any one of us can be, and all of us have been one at some point in our lives. It’s a moment when a person can see clearly enough to know what’s true and feel deeply enough about that truth to fight for it. All of us have different platforms to do that, and we have the ability to dig at what’s real and fact rather than opinion driven by bias and fear. We need to really distill what’s actually right and fight for it. All of us can do that. It’s just a matter of feeling that conviction.

I’m glad you said that. I thought it was unselfish of you to defend Brie Larson when she was being unfairly attacked leading up to the Captain Marvel release. Thanks man, and that directly ties to what I was saying. I’ve known Brie Larson for a long time, and we have mutual friends, so I’m so stoked for her success and everything that she’s doing. For me, it was just a matter of standing up for what was true. It wasn’t about coming to the rescue of Brie Larson or Captain Marvel as if she needed rescuing, it was a scenario where a lie was being spoken. I knew they were lies and I had the ability to speak the truth in love, so the people spreading those lies wouldn’t feel attacked in a cycle. They weren’t taking the right path and we need to be able to call that out.

Follow Noel Ransome on Twitter.

The post We Spoke to 'Shazam!' Actor Zachary Levi About Finally Landing a Superhero Role appeared first on .

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boythirteen · 7 years

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Hello Everyone. Thank you, Rev. Pat, for inviting me to preach today. This day was originally scheduled to be Leather Sunday, but Leather Sunday was moved to November. There’s an ad the bulletin. But when I first began thinking about this sermon, I thought that it would be on Leather Sunday. And it felt strange to me because I’m not a member of the leather community. I’m vegan, which I don’t think disqualifies me from being a leather person but is still kind of challenging in terms of actual leather. Pleather Sunday. And if it was Leather Sunday I would have needed to say that, which would have been challenging in its own way and so is something I need to consider no matter what Sunday it is. That it’s hard to be vegan. Not because of the practice of it, but because of the suggestion of “moral superiority” expressed by professing it. It’s a difficult thing to say that I am because it seems to contain an inherent judgment of those who aren’t this way. It seems sanctimonious and can make people roll their eyes. And so, for me, it’s a topic that is fraught in a sort of backwards way.

I was thinking about this on National Coming Out Day, which happened recently. Just how there are different things that I am, some of which are different than everyday things and not as automatically acceptable to the wide world. And these are things that do become necessary to reveal for just this reason that they aren’t the presumed things and may require special consideration. And some of them are hard to reveal, such as being transgender, because I feel vulnerable in certain settings and am afraid of rejection. And so my coming out feels courageous. But other kinds of coming out feel other ways that I’m not sure what to do with.

I remember a trip I made to visit my biological family after a long absence. Much had become clearer to me regarding my identity, and I had “news” for them. Like that I was transgender, which they were remarkably prepared to support. And also that I didn’t eat meat. I remember that one of my sisters, who’d been open and interested about the transgender part, said something like “I wonder how many other things you’ve decided to be to make you more special than everyone else.”

I’m not sure how any of this relates to the readings yet, or to this not being Leather Sunday anyway, although the 1st lesson does describe Elija as being “A hairy person, with a leather belt around the waist.” And that’s all I’ll be saying about the 1st lesson. What I know is that everyone is a beloved child of God—those in the leather community and those who aren’t and those who are vegan or not and those who roll their eyes and everyone in between. And everyone is special. And I’m very happy that we do celebrate a Sunday called Leather Sunday, and that I can feel solidarity with it. Because the leather community is most keenly aligned with this truth of everyone’s belovedness, both in ideology and practice. It offers a wonderful example to the world of acceptance and mutual respect, as well as making relational experiences adventurous and action-packed.

So here we all are being open to each other and having fun.

The gospel reading for today is about people feeling judged and threatened, and not being open to Jesus’s vision of equity and loving community that would negate their investment in their own privilege. They try to trick Jesus, to corner him and diminish him by making him choose a side that would alienate him from the opposing side and put him at odds with one authority or another.

This is the reading:

The Pharisees went and plotted to entrap Jesus in what Jesus said. So they sent their disciples to Jesus, along with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are sincere, and teach the way of God in accordance with truth, and show deference to no one; for you do not regard people with partiality. Tell us, then, what you think. Is it lawful to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?” But Jesus, aware of their malice, said, “Why are you putting me to the test, you hypocrites? Show me the coin used for the tax.” And they brought him a denarius. Then Jesus said to them, “Whose head is this, and whose title?” They answered, “The emperor’s.” Then Jesus said to them, “Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”

Some of the details about this story that I didn’t know before, and that are helpful to understanding it, are

1. that the tax being discussed, the Imperial tax, was levied specifically against the Jewish people as a payment in homage to the Roman emperor, who was their oppressor, as if to further their oppression by forcing them to pay for it.

2. and that Pharisees and Herodians weren’t on the same side and were only allied here because of their shared desire to disparage Jesus. Herodians supported Roman rule because they supported Herod, who’d been given authoritative power by the Romans. So they, by extension, were touched with power. They benefited from it, in a worldly sense, and would have been in favor of the enforcement of the tax. The Pharisees wouldn’t have, though. Pharisees were the religious authorities of the Jewish faith and would have considered the payment of this tax—one in deference to the rule of a godhead emperor—to be a form of idolatry. The coin itself, the one used for paying the tax, was engraved with the image of Caesar, and with an inscription proclaiming his divinity.

So the question, “Is it lawful to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?” would require Jesus to choose between a secular Roman law or a religious Jewish one. In either case, a decision in favor of the other position would be on the wrong side of the law and would discredit or even imperil him.

And the question was prefaced with obsequious, phony praise like something Trump would retweet to prove his greatness. Jesus, not being a narcissistic so and so, wasn’t amenable to this and called it hypocrisy. He saw through the whole thing and took charge of it. He asked to see the coin used to pay the tax, which the questioners were able to produce despite the fact that even having this coin in the temple, where the discussion was taking place, was blasphemous. Which was why the money changers of the temple were there— to offer Jewish coins in exchange for this type of Roman one. Remember the money changers and Jesus flipping over their tables? Because the whole heirarchical structure was corrupt and self-serving, much like ours today.

And the reason the Pharisees were sending their disciples to trick Jesus in the first place was because they were mad that Jesus was talking about them, because they could see themselves as the antagonists in the parables Jesus was teaching. Matthew Chapter 21, verse 45, says: “When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they realized that he was speaking about them.” They realized that they were the characters being used as examples of how not to be, or how not to facilitate the coming of God’s commonwealth. And the exposure felt threatening to them.

I need to think about this. There’s actually something I admire about the Pharisees’ ability to recognize themselves in Jesus’s parables. It’s a form of self-awareness that can sometimes be a first step to repentence, or change. It doesn’t seem to have worked this way for the Pharisees, or not all of them or not yet, but maybe was a beginning for some. It was enough to make them want the parable-telling to stop. Because it challenged their authority, surely, but also because it must have pained them somewhere deep inside to see themselves as the wicked tenants or the murderous wedding guests or the disappointing son who didn’t show up to work in the vineyard. They knew themselves, their attitudes, to be these things and didn’t like the revelation of it, which must have been, at least in part, because they didn’t like that they were this way, or weren’t proud to be so. I’ve found myself wondering about some of the hateful postures of today—the professed white supremacism and neo-naziism and anti-immigrant nativism and homophobia and transphobia and misogyny, and whether any of those who espouse these views would see themselves as antagonists in a Jesus parable. Or maybe as the characters in a movie that everyone else could agree were the bad guys. Would they be rooting for the lynch mob or squirming in their seats at the uncomfortable identification? I don’t know. And I don’t think it’s the point, anyway. The important thing is for me to find myself in the parables, for each of us to find ourselves and find guidance as followers of Jesus, which is what feels right to me to say that I want to be.

So Jesus looked at the coin, making sure the engraved image and inscription were noted. And then made the statement that amazed everyone: “Give therefore to the emperor [Caesar] the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s,” after which everyone went away, probably to think about what this meant, since it kind of compels you to do that.

What is Caesar’s and what is God’s?

Before delving into this, though, something that strikes me as noteworthy is that Jesus didn’t just make this about the tax, which was an oppressive one and did seem to cross over into the realm of idolatry. It would seem that Jesus would have agreed that the imperial tax was wrong, and that he would have fallen on the side of Jewish law as opposed to Roman law and would simply have said that the tax was unlawful, regardless of whatever jeopardy it may have put him in with the Roman authorities. Jesus was Jewish afterall, and knew and respected Jewish law, although he did have a revolutionary way of viewing it as “made for man.” As he said, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath,” (from Mark 2:27). And Jesus didn’t shy from confrontation with authority. He challenged it at every turn and didn’t make choices to shield himself from harm. He put himself in harm’s way, not as a protest tactic but simply as the cost of being his authentic self—a living embodiment of the love of God for everyone, regardless of social standing or ethnic or religious background or health status or any other thing. And this was threatening to those whose sense of worth relied on being set apart from the crowd as special and more powerful and more deserving of God’s notice and favor. Jesus was elevating the lowliest of the low in society’s eyes and giving them the name “Beloved.” I can’t imagine he would have evaded a direct yes or no answer to the tax question if there had been a yes or no answer he truly wanted to give, and one that would have furthered his message of God’s abiding love for everyone. What his answer revealed then, was that it wasn’t the actual tax that was of consequence, no matter how unfair and wrong it was. The issue wasn’t about the unjust societal structure, or not in the sense of it being an entity unto itself that needed to be confronted and torn down. Jesus wasn’t urging the people to stand up and refuse to pay an unjust tax out of religious conviction. He wasn’t offering guidance on whether to pay the tax or not. The issue, instead, was them, their individual discernment. The issue is us, not society. (Society is made by us, not us by society.)

The issue is me.

What do I give to Caesar and what do I give to God? I need to outline the parameters of my belief system.

These are my foundational beliefs: that God is Love. And that everyone is a beloved child of God. And that nothing can separate any one of us from the love of God, no matter what we may ever do to test it or ignore it or resist it or deem ourselves unworthy of it. And this is true for everyone, even those we kind of wish it wasn’t true about. And none of us are competing for special favor from God, or if we are it’s just silly. Because God loves us with infinitely abundant love at all times and won’t love us more or less regardless of whatever magnificent or horrendous things we do. No one wins extra favor from God for being good or is punished for being bad. No one is sent to burn in hell or is given a better seat in heaven. Everyone is beloved and has a wonderful seat. These are my beliefs. I also believe that everything belongs to God, which kind of stalls my contemplation of what should be given to Caesar and what to God. It doesn’t, though. It just puts it in a different sphere, in the same way that all of my other beliefs put my thoughts in a different sphere. But if I believe that God loves me no matter what, and that there’s no danger of my ever being refused admittance into God’s commonwealth, or of you being refused either, no matter how good or bad any of us is, then why does it matter what we ever do anyway? Why are all of Jesus’s parables and teachings seeming to point us in a direction if our eternal salvation isn’t reliant on us going that way, or any certain way?

I think the way to look at all of this, or the way I’ve come to look at it, is as if there are overarching things or truths— giant, infinite truths like enormous umbrellas or universes or domes with smaller truths whizzing around inside of them.

The big truths are:

That God is Love.

And nothing can separate us from the Love of God.

That everything belongs to God.

That all of us are God’s beloved no matter what we ever do.

That all of us are equally loved by God with equitable love that lifts up everyone and doesn’t favor anyone over another.

But inside these big truths are other truths, or details, that are like the internal machinery. Inside the big truth that nothing can separate us from the love of God is the truth of human suffering, and the consternation we feel when God’s love doesn’t prevent or take away our experience of pain. Not being separated from the love of God doesn’t mean that we don’t have human struggles.

And inside the big truth that everything belongs to God, there are definitely some unjust things going on that would seem to be those things that belong to Caesar, if Caesar represents idolatry and supremacy and oppression and racism and sexism and nativism and all the positions that would elevate some of us by diminishing others. Give to Trump what is Trump’s.

And inside the eternal truth that all of us are God’s beloved no matter what we ever do are other living truths about our ways of relating to each other and caring for each other that matter more than anything. It matters more than anything that we care about and assist the people of Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands and every other place in the world that’s been turned upside down by natural disasters. And that we care about and welcome immigrants and refugees. And that we support and protect and celebrate all marginalized people. That we love each other. God is love.

Maybe it’s like humanity, all of humanity, is one big living organism. And there’s an optimum way for this organism to function where all of it’s myriad parts are perfectly synced and supportive of each other and beautifully harmonious and energized and capable of, together, realizing the ultimate potential of the whole. Which is, as yet, something we can’t even imagine, as we haven’t come near to operating at our peak efficiency and don’t know at all how wonderfully cohesive and aware we’re meant to feel, or what astonishing purpose we’re meant to realize. It’s like how we don’t use all of brain power and have no idea what it’s even for, much less what we’d become if our whole brains were to be completely operational. So we don’t know what we’d become, what humanity would become, if every single one of us learned how to exist with everyone else in loving community at all times and in all ways. But this is God’s vision for us. It’s what Jesus’s instruction is aiming us toward— a state of right relationship and wholeness that we call the commonwealth of God.

So another big truth is that we’re collectively growing toward an optimum state of loving communion called the commonwealth of God. And inside this truth is the detail that all of us are also doing this individually. Inside the truth that all of us are equally loved by God is the amazing detail of diversity and the absolute uniqueness and specialness of every single one of us. And each of us, moment by moment, is discerning for ourselves what is Caesar’s and what is God’s.

Maybe this is why Jesus’s answer to the tax question is more like a Zen meditation than a definitive answer. Why his parables and teachings are all kind of like that. Because there isn’t a definitive instruction that applies to every individual in a blanket way. Because each of us is finding our own way to right relationship with everyone else at the same time as we’re doing this together.

Well, I want to end with something loosely related to this day actually being International Day for Trans Depatholigization instead of being Leather Sunday. I’m a transgender person and also have a nephew who is a trans man. My nephew visited NY recently and had dinner with me, and we had a conversation about transness that veered into things about misogyny and toxic masculinity and privilege and all kinds of problematic areas. And I said that it bothered me that my transition had kind of put me in a place of being perceived of as a straight man, a straight white man who was on top of the pile in our society, which wasn’t where I wanted to be or who I felt I was. I said that I didn’t even like men, in a general way, although I do deeply love every single man and male-identified person here today. But I said that I was more anti-man that pro-man, again in a general way, and that I didn’t think of myself as a man. And I think that I wanted my nephew to agree with me, or to affirm that being a transman wasn’t the same as being a man and was better. I’m just telling you what I was thinking. But my nephew seemed to feel differently about this and even hurt by it, as if I was judging him, because he did think of himself as more manly. So we left each other sort of feeling as if our paths had diverged and we’d grown apart. This was a few months ago. But just last week my nephew sent me a message saying that he was at a trans conference and was having a conversation about people identifying as non-binary, and he wondered if I’d ever considered this to be my identity. He said he’d been thinking of me not wanting to be a man and was trying to better understand what I felt.

Apart from this being incredibly touching to me— his generous desire to come close and to care— I was also struck by a sudden, clarifying recognition that “non-binary” was likely a more accurate labeling of my identity, a zooming in, and that it had this specific name within the transgender lexicon because it was a distinct experience from that of other trans people who considered themselves more aligned with a binary male or female identity, however fluid and non-binary the gender-identity spectrum is as a whole. Which wasn’t a new insight for me, really, but was deeper than before. It made me see, in a more definitive way, that there actually are categorically different experiences of being transgender. And something about this realization led me to admit to myself how disinclined I am to give credence to the life experience of trans men who more completely identify as men. That I’m close-minded about it even. As if that experience, because it isn’t mine, is something that doesn’t happen and that all trans men feel more “other” than actually men. And that their saying they don’t is some kind of bravado thing that isn’t authentic. But maybe they actually don’t! Maybe they actually feel, and are, completely men who are being themselves. And my acknowledging this can open a door of understanding for me, about them and about all other men, too. It can enlarge my sphere of loving community and right relationship. It can also make me wonder what other things I’ve been so narrow about that have closed me off from communion with people.

So this is me trying to discern.

No wonder it’s taking so long for God’s Commonwealth to come. It’s all so extravagantly complicated! Amazingly so.

Amen

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