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leeyanyanyaaan · 1 year

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afterthoughts for kh3

guess who's not sleeping again =w=

listen, i really enjoyed the kh3 experience, mostly bc of my bias for kh in general, the fun new additions like exploring in the gummi ship and cooking w remi, and especially graphics wise it was very visually pleasing to play through, but if i have to be honest, some things just put me off ESPECIALLY with how the story went (but its kh what else should i be expecting 💀) and some of the game mechanics.

if you asked me what my favorite of the kh games were, i'd answer kh2 and khbbs (with the addition of the main title games too tho haha). only i hated grinding on bbs and the powers were absolutely insane LMAO

but the video in the link actually covers a lot of stuff really well; as much as he disses the game the guy makes a lot of good points and feedback for his criticism in ways it could've been done better or how the previous games have done it.

honestly just ignore me i just want to put my thoughts somewhere LMAO

youtube

DISCLAIMER: This is purely subjective opinion!

If my opinion opposes your own, all I ask is for uhm... no knives please? ;w; and by no means do I intend for anything that I've said to offend or hurt anyone :"(

Gravity - This. Right off the bat he already points out one of the game mechanics that's been... well, come to my attention? I DEFINITELY noticed how KH3 has become way more aerodynamic. I feel like one of the reasons why, that I think he doesn't state, is because from the beginning we already have so many skill moves that it felt like we were already midgame lol (it's probably the wall climb and airdiving). But yeah, Sora's floatiness is pretty obvious, like, he just has a lot of airtime. The one thing I really wanted and hoped would be in the game would be a ground slam, like the one in Genshin. I mean tbf sometimes the more aerodynamic mechanics helped in fighting but only for the typical crowds of mobs; for bosses they can get annoying and get me more caught in attacks easily (then again, I'm not the best blocker OOF)

Attractions - Okay, for my case, the attractions was a great way to keep my baby sister entertained AHAHA she would always ask me "Ate! Ate! Do the unicorns! Do the teacups! Do the pirate ship!" with the addition of the Disney characters that she's a little more familiar with (cough Frozen and Monsters Inc cough) she always liked watching me play =w= but otherwise I'd usually ignore the attractions LOL. He absolutely called me out there tho AHSDJASKBD but I did not realize they were DisneyLand attraction rides until at least three rides where I pieced it together LMAO. I can see his point about its disjointedness from the gameplay and his ideas make sense but IMO I also think that saving the attractions for boss battles would work too like the train, eg. the Pirate Ship for The Caribbean? It also kinda makes me sad how The Carribbean was the only world to stay consecutively for the three title games :"( then again, it is a nice refresher to see the newer Disney/Pixar films in the game and I liked how way more fleshed out The Carribean was this time. Plus IMO the way they tied in the concept with the possible "New Seven Hearts" and the reason for why the characters could be a new heart of light actually made sense to me, so I didn't mind it too much... except that concept kinda just gets dropped in the end so 😐 (I mean, I get that they needed to purpose for the Disney worlds to still remain, but seriously, this isn't the first time KH just decides to drop a plot point when it's no longer relevant ToT)

The Original Worlds - !!! THE FACT THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE RADIANT GARDEN 😭😭😭 WHERE DID IT GOOOOOO I WANTED TO SEE THE RESTORATION COMMITTEEEE but I mean... idk i guess we still got to have Winnie the Pooh and Remi? and Scrouge and the triplets were still there too (but no more DisneyTown.) I guess I liked that there was more to do in the Keyblade Graveyard with the labyrinth? ig? The war itself... it kinda felt underwhelming 😥 then again, in terms of combat it really pales in comparison to BBS (even tho bbs was super op oof)... that game really gave me a challenge especially with Vanitas :") as for Scala ad Caelum... this is something that plays more to UX, doesn't it? (sidenote: I got so jelly when all the UX players got to be in the final attack 😭💔 by the time I wanted to download UX it wasn't available anymore :") and even when I did see it I haven't even gotten past KH1 first so... yeah) I wanted to explore the world but I forgot that the save data would be just before the final boss battle so I was stuck going on round 2 :") at least I got the secret movie I guess? Though I may just need to play through the post-ending save data a few more times to discover more things.

The Enemies - Like he mentioned about the unique special moves for each mob... Yeah, I really preferred KH2 and BBS's game mechanics over KH3... as cool as all the starter skills we got was, the battles, especially for the bosses weren't nearly as challenging as the past two days (remember when Mickey had to save our ass?). Back to when I mentioned Ventus, you really needed to think out a game plan and actually dodge or block attacks, you couldn't just tackle him head on especially because levelling up and grinding in BBS was terrible. Even though there were insane killer moves (which, IMO while yes they look too way OP for KH3, they were really cool!) not even that would've been enough, at least, not for your first 1v1 against him.

LMAOOO THE WAY HE DISSES BBS AT THE END 😂😂😂 fair enough though, i'm well aware bbs isn't part of the best games of the franchise, but then again, a big part of why bbs is part of my favorites is A. Aqua my waifu <3 and B. the storyline :") (fun fact, I even made a stand-alone BBS!AU for OCs with two of my old friends even though they knew nothing of the franchise! I only got them to skim through a BBS gameplay video and it was coherent enough for them to understand, me only needing to fill in the role of light and darkness LOL) BUT. I'M SO SO SOOOO HAPPY THEY'RE BRINGING BACK THE REACTION COMMANDS FROM KH2 TO KH4!!!! IT WAS MY FAVORITE MECHANIC IN KH2 BOSS FIGHTS! and probably in RPG games in general, the reason why I favor the first of the One Piece: Pirate Warriors series is because of the action commands and just how much more game mechanics there was in comparison to its predecessors.

One more thing I'd like to mention is the underwhelming performance of how scenes were carried out technical-wise... I mean, at this point I know it's nothing new but come on! The least they could very do is add subtle BGM to help carry mood if they're going to have empty spaces in between dialogue 💀 I know that they only added the Frozen songs for the marketing 🤡 but hey my sister liked it. Dialogue wise if I didn't like it I would just rewrite it in my memories 🤗

So now that game mechanics are covered, let's talk about plot :) warning though that uh I might be hazy on some details of the story by now, especially as half of the games I didn't have I watched gameplays of, so my understanding might be more limited than your average avid KH fan. I'm literally hanging onto this understanding by a thread ToT also it's three a.m. and my bestie insomnia is sleeping over <3

Like I mentioned above, what I did like about the plotline was how the New Seven Hearts were introduced and gave purpose and reason for each of the chosen Disney/Pixar worlds... UNTIL IT JUST BECOMES IRRELEVANT BY THE END OF THE GAME ToT but I mean, at the very least, it did make journeying through the new worlds more enjoyable? Well, for me at least. It's probably the Disney child in me talking 🤭 plus the fact that I played with my baby sister by my side.

But just as I was finally starting to get some sense of the plotline, it felt like by the end of KH3 they kinda just... dropped the ball. Rushed the plotline? Forced even. Especially in terms of Kairi.

I feel like we were robbed of Kairi's character. What was the point of her training to become a keyblade wielder if she was only going to be a damsel in distress in the end? It really only felt like she was just there to be the push Sora needed whenever he fell into... darkness. and only that. Literally. If Kairi was going to save Sora, couldn't it have been done at the very least, physically? With the keyblade? Show her strength? (pls i wanted badass kairi so bad and where she physically saved sora for once ajsdbkas)

The Keyblade War in general was so lacking :( like, when I said I rewrite scenes I didn't like in my head it was most of the keyblade war. It's probably harsh of me to say this, but I feel like they just didn't put in the effort the story deserved, for the keyblade war at least. Especially what were supposed to be emotional and moving scenes, they just didn't have impact they were trying to convey. The way the characters were thrown into despair felt so cheap, and they barely did much to turn the tables either. I don't know. I guess I was just expecting more because of the concept of "war". Literally, at the very least, they could've shown more reaction and action when they were under attack? As overdemanding this sounds, if they're able to program visually high quality combat mechanics for the whole of the game, why not for the cutscenes? Though this might be my lack of knowledge in the game development side of things.

And then the ending? Kairi's disappeared and now Sora's going after her...? (Update: just quickly watched a summary of Re:Mind. So Sora's gone because basically he messed with the Laws of Nature/Keyblade magic so Sora's disappeared to the Human World/Quadratum as punishment... I think? Well, I guess there's a little more closure now, albeit it feels like they've found a convenient loophole to bring back Kairi 🤡 KH Lore still not making any more sense as always LMAO) Like, is this really how we're concluding KH3? What about the Heart Hotel gang? The vessels? Like, hooray everyone gets to have a happy ending and be reunited but is this book closed end of story for them? The Heart Hotel played a big role for Sora and his powers and the story (I think I saw a tumblr post talk about this). I'm just- I dunno... no closure? I don't even know what to expect for Kairi in KH4. I know Riku is gonna be following Sora, but I feel like Kairi deserved way more than the role of the damsel of distress and the shining light for Sora. Is she really just gonna be yet another Shonen Female Lead with Wasted Power?

But I myself don't think I'd know how to connect the events of KH3 to the Quadratum in KH4 with a different ending. Maybe they should've played more on the idea of Sora falling to darkness, since they've emphasised this a lot (and well he's in the "afterlife" now). They seem to have the Heart Hotel sorted so they'll probably only be briefly mentioned as like voices or shining lights in Sora's depths of despair from now on. And again, I'm still hazy on certain parts of the KH lore, so I'm not sure how the Foretellers, Luxu and Master of Masters will tie in either (though do note that I haven't played beyond KH3 yet so maybe there's answers in the preceding games).

I dunno. Maybe it's just my sleep deprived braincell not processing information XD

Anyways, I'll just be here hoping for the story to continue to unfold and for the release of KH4 :D I'll also try to navigate my way around the rest of the games that I need to go through for lore. It's nearly four a.m. so I'll try get some shut eye now =w=

[Overall score: 8.5/10 ⭐]

#kairi deserved better #noisyanyan #kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh3 spoilers #personal opinions #game review #now i need sleep

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borahaejenn · 2 years

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⭐️Dear JIMIN⭐️

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, JIMINIE🎉I say this in one of the videos I posted on the blog lol but I thought you were turning 27/28 but then you said 29 in the live and so I will say HAPPY 29 YEARS!!!!Lol If you say you are 29 then you are 29 lol it’s your birthday so I will go by what you say because I am not aware of ages that well in Korea lol I know there is this other rule that in some cases the person is double the age and not one year up but I was not sure of what instances but I think all this time I may have been thinking of your age wrong all these years lol I didn’t think that possibly you were in that case of two years up and not one. I do apologize.😀 Hehe Clumsy and unaware Jenn is present today too lol 😂 I love you. Thank you for being here today and for being born. I say this a lot in the videos too but I also thank you parents too. 🙏 Let’s have a lovely 29th year, right? Let’s go! You get to be in Busan soon with ARMY! Ahhh so EXCITING🙌😭 I AM HAPPY. I will be there too just in the air lol 😂 Just think of me as being with you in your heart at all times but only if you allow me in. I am not gone but your consent is important to me too lol

Jimin, I hope this upcoming time around that things start to change around so you can also feel more in tune with the music you are making and also the process. I hope you can have fun but also feel it as you. I talk about this in one of the videos too lol but I just had to say it again. Before I get into so many things, I just have to give this warning for the videos lol I say this a lot because I know it can be easy to watch something and then feel the need to react instead of hearing it out and then responding, so I like to say this disclaimer that I talk in the videos more raw about the idea of body image and the idea of beauty because you brought up things that made me think of how I felt about it growing up to now and I just rant a lot about how I felt being a woman and also my body and I felt comfortable to speak it to y’all and I am not saying things to make people uncomfortable but because I felt okay to rant and say things that annoyed me to you lol I don’t want anyone to think that I am attacking them it is just me attacking the people who annoyed me in the past and I am just letting it out lol it’s like healing time videos 😂 but nothing in there is towards anyone in particular it’s just me hanging out with you and just talking about the things that annoyed me and I would have loved to hear how it felt for you as well with the idea of body image and things people picked at. I am here to listen. Haha that’s what these videos are for too, to talk and relate and bring out things that you have not gotten to say. I also have a video I think it’s in pt.12 where I cry for the first time in front of y’all. I explain more in the videos and it just came out and it was something I have always wanted to say to you in person and I almost didn’t want to post it like I had two weeks to decide on it lol but I did and I had to be real and let it out. I was trying so hard to hold it back in the video lol but I started to breathe hard and relax myself to say what I had to say. I did my best. Crying really is healing but it’s hard to do it when you have to do it out loud. But, it all came out of me. When it got to the subject that I have been wanting to talk about for a while it just felt hard and I felt a sudden urge to cry. I just felt it strongly for awhile. Please don’t go thinking that it is your fault lol that is not why I cried. I cried because I feel and I don’t think that is something to feel bad about. When you can make someone feel like that, I think it’s a form of acting on love. So, you made me feel and thank you for letting me heal as well. ❤️I mean every word I said in that video. You really are like a healer and an angel. And no I don’t think an angel is this perfect being, but one that can touch you in ways you don’t expect regardless of all the things they really are and have done. No one is perfect and you aren’t to me because you are a person just like me and I love you for that as well.

Now to get to the core. 😇Hehe I watched your current live and I loved it lol the “tree that lived for 500 years” had me crying. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I really love older houses and want to live in one in the future. I am not really into the modern or luxury homes. Like I love the interior and I respect the architecture and art that went into making it but it’s not my vibe. I like that feeling of a countryside home with a “tree that lived for 500 years” lol it feels more me. I want to be able to shower with the outlook of nature nearby and to cut my fruits outside as I fight mosquitos with my fists lol 😂 The Korean traditional homes look really nice! I love how you went for a level 5 out of 6 type of building puzzle lol that’s what I do. I don’t really read instructions all the time or look at the difficulty. If I see it and I want to try it I just pick it, buy it, and do it for as long as it takes. 💪🙂 I dig your method of doing things. When you twisted the tree it reminded me of how I did the bonsai tree for Joonie. That’s exactly what I did with two brown paper bags to get it to the tree shape. It really does feel nice to work with hands to make something. Lol also, RIP to the tile roof at the end Lmao. It had a good run for like .01 seconds. Haha this is why sometimes I don’t read instructions and just measure it out on my own because sometimes the structure can be cut differently for each package and at times the measurements don’t align on paper until you estimate it yourself. Lol i had that happen with a chair stool I ordered and the wood pieces did not align and so I had to make some adjustments. Lol I think it was very considerate of you to finish the live the same time as Taehyung’s radio appearance was set to happen. I also just finished the film ETERNALS and it is good. I did hear FRIENDS too lol I love the transition they put the song in during the plane ride. Kingo is so funny and the whole camera ordeal had me cracking up😂 Karun just risking his life to film the fighting sequences is insane lol don’t get me started on Gilgamesh lol DON LEE is funny. The fermented corn wine with his spit is hilarious😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It was a light, funny, and action packed film I enjoyed it. Also, about your diet failing lol it’s okay. Nothing is ever easy. I don’t diet but like we all fail at doing certain things when we try. I notice a lot of people like to eat chicken breast with no seasoning like that and I could never. Props if you can. I need some crunch and zest and rice. Lol and sauce🤤

This letter is going to be everywhere haha but let me talk to you about the first thing I did for your birthday which is photos inspired by you and by that I mean all the instances where you were as I like to call it, “JIMINING” haha or as I like to define it, just laying on the ground like a starfish. I made a mood board too lol it’s posted and I literally spent a whole two weeks going to different places and even on my mornings on my daily important business lol just laying on any floor and just looking at the sky for a bit. I even made two videos doing a tutorial lol for fun! I love how you can be random with it and so care free and I wanted to be like that for a bit so I went and became a starfish and enjoyed the floor for a bit.☺️ for your birthday I wanted to remind you, Bangtan, and ARMY to just lay down on the floor when you can and just take a minute to just look at the sky or ceiling. Look into what is blank and just there without having to have a reason for it than to just be. It’s peaceful, calming, and humbling. Thank you for always reminding me of that, honey. Enjoy the views the scenery and just me being a fool because it takes courage to be a fool at least that’s what Charlie Chaplin said. One of his quotes was this: “Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself. “ I quite like that sentiment. In me being a fool I wish to let others know that if I can make a fool out of myself, it’s okay if they do too. Nothing wrong with that if we are enjoying it and learning from it. Hehe you always make us all laugh with the way you do things from time to time and I think there is purpose in that. 😌 I love the random things you do. Lol I feel less alone when I do it too. Haha

I wish to talk about the things you said in your live and your recent weverse interview lol I got a couple things haha:

-“self-justification” lol I love it. I had to start with this one. It was hilarious but I do that a lot and I think a lot of people do even thought they don’t realize or admit it as they go about decisions in their day. Lol

-“Everything isn’t easy.” Yeah it just isn’t lol even getting up to be yourself and go about your day can be hard at times in a real sense.

-“That’s why you have to find out what’s the problem first before complaining about it.” This was funny when you said it in the live because of the structure lol but also really hot because in the essence of emotional intelligence it is true. Lol something we all don’t like to admit is that we are the problem when it comes to issues because we think to complain first instead of thinking about the solution first. We become the solution when we allow space for ourselves to take a moment to find the answers. I think that complaining is nice some days though like it’s not the worst thing when you just need to vent for a bit so as long as it does not become the end solution in the bigger picture. Like it’s nice to feel and then solve the issue because we don’t always need to go straight for the solution if we need the space to decompress, but just don’t get too comfortable with that being the only way is what I am saying lol

-“I feel like I should take this challenge on, the proper way.” Damn. Yes JIMIN! The proper way is a good way to go. Lol I love that you like to do things right and thorough. I’m impulsive sometimes so just reading this is like a fresh of breath air. Haha

-“Maybe I can be just a little more explicit… I just think I can show something a little more raw about me…I’m doing this more for my own sake than because I want to say something to other people.” I love this. Jiminie doing things for his own self is what I like to see. I want to get to know Jimin for who he is not for what he thinks he needs to say to me or do for me. Be explicit, baby! I support it. Lol STEP INTO YOU.🙌

-“…but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like maybe I was trying to deny something.” I related to this so much because I felt like that for awhile a lot. You can go about everything at times like it’s is all well but then you realize you have not touched on something you should have emotionally or mentally and that feeling can linger. Nothing will ever feel right and it may feel like something can go wrong if you don’t validate what that exact thing is. It’s like with anxiety. You can go about your day as long as you control it, but until you get to the bottom as to why you have it, your every day looks more like “I can get through this” and less like “I feel more secure to handle it” over time. You can’t win a war if you don’t get to know your opponent is what I am trying to get at. It can be overwhelming and then one day it all goes to shambles and you think all your efforts to keep it in line went to waste, but truth is that was not effort that was just you trying to avoid it and just trying to hide it with more things until it caught up from all the pile of things you tried to weigh it down with. That’s how I always felt about myself with my own things. But I don’t know if you could relate to that. You brought up a good point.

-“Would I really be okay if it were me personally, not the group, that was on display?” This question is one that I think is excellent to ask because I sense self-growth in it. I love how you ask these things. It is in those scary questions that you will find who you are more. In the darkness we all look the same and in the darkness is where your actions and values are most visible because you have no one to please, to look at you, or to really show these things so you look more into yourself. I think you are going in that darkness and finding your way. But to me, I think you are quite possible to get to that “be okay” aspect even if right now it doesn’t look like it. Your potential is there and I hope you see it too. Hehe

-“That was the meaning behind it: something I wanted to do someday.” In regards to WITH YOU with HA SUNG WOON I think this was nice. I was wondering how you felt about it for awhile and now I know. ☺️

-“…but when I made ‘Promise’ I was really introverted and feeling depressed. I think ‘Promise’ was a chance for me to look at myself. I managed to come out of my shell a little thanks to that song.” I love how the music y’all do is just as healing to you. I think it’s nice when a person can feel that same type of warmth from their music that they give to also themselves. I think that’s what it’s about too. I am happy for you, Jiminie.💕Personally, I am an introvert but my energy is extroverted if you let me just be. I love being low-key but I also like to be wild. Haha I am depressive but I am also quite happy. Lol I have been getting more in-depth with what makes me depressive and anxious and why and so I feel more comfortable with dealing with it. Lol I no longer just allow it to just be but I work with it and I’m okay with being depressive but I don’t let it define me as much as before. Being with y’all has lead me to rethink a lot and I wish to say thank you too. 😉These days I allow my extroverted side to come out in videos lol 😂 as you will see.

-“So lately I have moments where I feel like, how was it that I used to feel, again?” Growth looks hot on you Jimin. Lol I think when you can be in a state of mind where you no longer feel the same way as before and actually actively question it, you have made some serious progress. That’s what’s up!

-“I actually struggle and feel restless if I’m not doing anything.” Says the person who enjoys staying in bed lol 😂 I’m crying. I love you Jimin but I’m joking with you here. I guess we all contradict ourselves. But on a serious note I feel it. When you are use to doing a lot and always being busy, it becomes hard when things are peaceful, because you are not use to that as a regular thing. Usually you would be practicing, touring, traveling, having full schedules and going here and there and to suddenly have time to stop can be alarming at first to your body. I think it’s the same for people also recovering and healing from any type of traumatic experiences because if you are use to certain things it’s hard for someone to feel alright when they no longer have to worry about that. We just have to be more patient. I think that in restlessness we feel overwhelmed and then it feels like we can’t do anything when we need to do something to get out of that.Lol it’s funny how the mind works.

-“What have I been doing this whole time? Why was I like that?” I have an answer: because you were trying to survive. You talked about feeling a little bit empty but not completely, but I think you felt certain things and went about life a certain way because at a young age you were just trying to also survive especially in a industry that is pretty cut throat as well. You did well with what you know you had to do to keep going. It’s not bad nor is it your fault Jimin. I am here to remind you that you did well with all that you could. It’s hard to survive and you also did your best to do so even during hard times. Sometimes our body does things in acts of survival even with our minds when you think about it. In order to keep you moving in your external sometimes your mind may choose to hide certain thoughts, feelings, experiences, and your body responds to it in other ways like depression, hostility, anxiety, anger, sadness, doubt, hopelessness, stomach pains, resentment, headaches, and even more. But, now you are addressing it more and I am proud of you my love. This is for young Jimin, “You did well and you kept future Jimin here and I can’t thank you enough for that. I know it’s hard but it’s within these heard moments that you make easier and warm ones blossom in the future. You are still pretty even in the future. Haha you are very loved. Thank you for hanging on with all the strength you have now. Also, I know the chicken breast you are eating isn’t too delicious at the moment, but in the future you will eat a lot of delicious chicken, trust me. Hehe” 😇

-“To be honest, I can do things I do individually, even now, because of being in BTS, and I don’t think that’s going to change since I got my start as an idol.” I notice how much in the interviews thus far y’all have been really giving your personal thoughts on being with each other. This was nice to read as well. To get an update on how y’all feel about each other is something that I look forward to. I know everyone changes, but y’all admit that and welcome your differences and still find one way or another to still point out the unity you have as a whole and how being in that has giving y’all more out of life than you expected and I feel content knowing that. They say that the people that move you, encourage you, support you, and grow with you are the ones who you should really focus on. Those people are rare and healthy for your heart, soul, and mind. Y’all show that in this way. 💜

-“I’m really grateful for everything ARMY says, but not entirely satisfied with myself yet. Nothing would make me happier than having this much self-satisfaction, but I don’t, and I struggle with that.” Thank you for admitting this and saying it. This is the realness I love and it’s hard to admit that you aren’t self-satisfied. I got tired of acting like that and thinking that confidence stems from having it and acting like you do in order to channel it. Like no. Saying we are not self-satisfied is confidence to me because you are being honest with yourself and really pointing it out to work on it rather than to hide it or not say anything about it. I think it’s in the things we are not satisfied with that confidence will show and grow because you are strengthening those parts rather than to think they are bad to show. I love you for this Jimin. It’s okay if you struggle with it. Life is about finding the things that do satisfy us and it will always look different than what someone else feels satisfied with. Someone feels satisfied complementing you, but you may feel different about it. You probably feel more satisfaction when you are alone and you feel it without people having to say something about it. It depends. I think that is why it’s called “self-“ “satisfaction” it won’t be there with the words and opinions of others but your own. I’m here to support that “self” part of you because I can shower you with compliments but these days that won’t make me feel better. What will make me feel better is when you tell me that you feel that “self” strongly within yourself. It is a process and I don’t know when you may feel that way but I’ll be here patiently. Hehe 💪

-“So now I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to knowing who I’ll become and how much better I’m going to be able to perform.” LET’S GO! I’m looking forward to it too. 😎

-“I always look forward to the audience erupting into cheers whenever all my proficiencies come together. I think that’s one of the reasons I used to criticize myself so much whenever I made a mistake or did something wrong.” I have this theory that your heart is always doing so much for others and that is why you always want to show your best. I feel like what feeds you is knowing that you gave back what was given to you and getting that response is it. But, I think that comes with heavy blade of pressure to do more and bigger and better than what you already did. I think it’s scary to think of what to do next when you get a good response or feeling about something you did. It’s like always this question of “what now?” and “was this feeling delivered well? Maybe I need to deliver it better?” and that is when at times it feels empty and like you ran out of who you are and what you can give. But we are limitless in reality. I just wish to tell you that for all the times you went on stage to perform, that moment does not define you and it passes. I feel like you can criticize yourself so much but also remember that the time passed and you have other days ahead where you can expand and show more so as long as it is for you. I want you to know that to me your worth is not in what you can show me or give me but in how you can care for yourself. If we want us all to be connected and together, I need you to be your own “audience erupting into cheers” and I need you to be the best for you before you even think for anyone else. I want you to be your first cheerleader before you look forward to ARMY cheering for you. I hope this makes sense lol but yes. 👍I think of it this way because then the criticizing becomes more concrete in a way to help us do more and less overpowering of our thoughts. When you look to yourself it becomes more satisfying than looking at others first. 🥰

-“…they just feel like a place you can always come back to…but I always got the impression they’re this powerful force that mentally helps me return to my true self.” This was a nice sentiment to end it at and your words are soft and mushy and I love it.😭😭😭😭😭 I think you are lucky to be surrounded by people that make you feel this way because it is hard to find people like that. I hope y’all cherish each other well. ☺️

Haha I am sorry I got difficult on you Jimin lol I like being difficult too lol you don’t have to take what I say into consideration but I just thought of those thoughts reading your interview. I love your points too. 🙏 thank you for making me think a lot. Lol hehe shall I get into the playlist. Hehe I wanted to make some light SERENDIPITY inspired photos for the playlist haha I thought of adding a darker touch with dark curtain materials. I through of how cute and light SERENDIPITY is but I thought of for so long you always showed this light persona and one that is charming, but I felt a darkness behind all that and I wanted to bring that in. Overlapping the dark to come out when everything is light. That was my thought process. Lol don’t ask me how I got it to that way because it just came to mind one night. Lol the photos are light still but they just got a different energy to them. I also did some SERENDIPITY edits haha I did split edits with lyrics and they are separate from the playlist but it was fun to do too. Hehe this playlist is super soft, calm, and mushy. Lol it is one to listen to when you wake up or at night on the way home. I love a lot of the lyrics from a lot of the tracks but I’ll talk about a few. Haha the first one that I loved so much is from the track called DON’T YOU WORRY by Oh Wonder. Love that song so much. I love these lyrics: “We let the freckles on our faces make a million stars/ a constellation so amazing that we saw a spark/ if I’m honest, it felt like love…And now we’re ready for the ending, we’re hand in hand/ A life so colorful, we didn’t even need a plan…” I remember the past photos of you in the snow and the small freckles on your face and I thought it so cute. I love the idea of referencing the freckles on your face as a million stars that make a constellation. 😘This song is for you. Haha I also loved SUGAR by Alayna. Such a nice smooth track. These lyrics ahhh :”woke up in paradise/ found myself in your eyes/ baby, I think we made it/we we’re lovin’ in lowercase/ but now we’re seein’ better days…you’re my water/ you’re my comfort and my saving grace/ you’re the colors that I try to paint/ you’re the sugar that my body craves/ you’re my healer/ you’re the reason I don’t go insane/ I’m realizin’ more every day/ I really need you and that’s okay…” like damn. Hehe I thought of you with this one too. It’s very straightforward and cute. Ahhh. I got to listening to Harry Connick, Jr. again and I love the movie WHEN HARRY MET SALLY too and I love the track I COULD WRITE A BOOK. It’s so sweet and short. The lyrics are also adorable. I got a lot of old tracks here too haha this right here is so nice: “Now if they ask me, I could write a book/ About the way you walk and whisper and look/ I could write a preface on how we met/ So the world would never forget.” 😭😭😭😭 my heart. I also put FLOWERS IN DECEMBER by Mazzy Star. This one reminded me of the idea of your connection with Taehyung. I really love these lyrics from it: “send me your flowers of your December/ send me your dreams of your candy wine/ I got just one thing I can’t give you/ just one more thing of mine.” When the send me your flowers of your December came up I thought of how Tae is your flower of December. Hehe the one who was born near the end of the year in 1995 so you wouldn’t be left alone. It was a nice sentiment because I know Tae is also very special to you. I will never forget that. That track is in relation to your friendship with Tae. ❄️ I also love the Spanish track called QUERIDA ANSIEDAD by Mario Puglia. It’s a track that talks about anxiety and how he wishes it would go away but he is having a conversation with it. He talks about making friends with it but also how it makes him feel alone at times. I like the idea of emptiness and anxiety because it sometimes feels that way and it is beyond just being super hyper aware and freaked out. Sometimes it just feels silent and empty. I brought it in this playlist because I through you may relate to that the way I do in a different sense. I like these lyrics: “Es inevitable/ que en el silencio/ Pueda hablarle/ a la soledad.” Translates to: it is inevitable that in the silence I could possibly talk to the loneliness. It’s like you feel alone but it just sadly adds to the fact that when you are alone dealing with things like that you wish you could talk to something or someone but you know you are alone for the most part in trying to deal with it because no one will get exactly how you feel. I know it’s sad but it’s acoustic and I like the idea of validating those feeling even in a song. Hehe the song called FOREVER & ALWAYS by Zeph is also for you haha the lyrics are just super soft. These lyrics are just beautiful and I loved the imagery it painted to me: “love songs are fleeting/ but the melodies stick with you/ I have learned your heart/ and memorized the tune/ it’s my favorite/ I’ll sing it in any occasion/ it’ll be my soundtrack/ beyond our youth…every note you hum/ is a classic through and through/ I’ll add them to a playlist called/ all things I look forward to/ it’s my favorite/ even if no one will play it/ I only want a future/ filled with you…I’ll sing it still in 10 years time/ 20, 30, 99/ I’ll dance as long as I can stand/ partner for life take my hand/ we’ll set the record for strongest love/ keep the vinyl free of dust/ spin it softly eternally/ and my dear you’ll sing with me.” 🥰 so warm. these lyrics win. Haha I loved the imagery of the heart and the record and vinyl and the spinning eternally. Just so freaking sweet I had to add this track. I melted. Lol 🫠 The last tracks I wanted to talk about is from The Goo Goo Dolls ahhh I remember listening to them for the first time in the romantic film called CITY OF ANGELS ahhh it’s a must watch. As a kid growing up I was in love with it lol but it was like a couple weeks ago when I listened to the radio for once and IRIS came on and I had memories come back and I was like “I want to give this track to Jimin” it has this aura to it and it’s sweet. It’s old school too and ahh I hope you like it. I also added STAY WITH YOU too because the lyrics also are my favorite. All these track have a soft spin to them but also uplifting. I hope y’all can enjoy and fall into a melted puddle with me lol you just make me soft Jiminie. Haha happy listening 🎶 I made my breakfast the past two weeks with this playlist lol it was chill and relaxing. So it is for those times when y’all are in your down time, cleaning, having a calm slow morning, getting somewhere, or traveling in the car and going through a peaceful route and scenery.Lol

I shall go now haha there is a total of 20 videos and a lot of photos haha I hope you enjoy. Oh and for the origami section heheh it’s a surprise just look at the videos haha I wanted to surprise you this time. Lol I did three because I couldn’t decide.😂 I say this in the current videos for BANGTAN and ARMY too but I hope y’all have a lovely time in BUSAN together. 🙌💜 I hope you have a lovely birthday JIMIN! 🎂Happy JIMIN DAY! 🎂Thank you for being our GOLDEN POLLITO🐥✨ thank you for doing your best to be healthy. Thank you for laughing with us all and making us laugh. Thank you for your opinions because without them life would be bland. Lol thank you to your arms and legs for teaching us that being a starfish is actually quite nice. Haha thank you to your presence and your voice for giving us a piece of peace in this world. And thank you to your tears because if it were not for them we would not have the Jimin we have today. Tears water growth and I think you did well in growing JIMINIE. 😚Please be safe, have fun, eat wellll 🤤 and JIMIN, you are freaking pretty. Today and always. Hehe 😉 don’t you forget it! 💝 CAN YOU FEEL MY LOVE FROM AFAR? IT IS A LOT RIGHT HAHAHA I know you are strong enough to take it lol I hope you feel it. I LOVE YOU. 🤗 bye bye! Please take it easy on the AC lol I had to say it again this also goes for Bangtan and ARMY. Haha🙃 let’s not get sick this flu season too. Haha FIGHTING🫶

With mucho armor🌻,

Your Jennifer ✌️🐥✌️ I’ll be a pollita today. Hehe lol

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thestarrynightslover · 3 years

Text

How to Say I Love You

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,582

Warnings: Smut implied.

Summary: One day, Jay takes it upon himself to be an extra-cute boyfriend. The reason? It takes (y/n) a while to find out.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Posting super late because the day was hard. So, just some more Jay fluff to brighten our days. Hope you like it!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

As soon as you woke up, you felt light kisses being pressed to all of your very exposed skin, and an inevitable smile came to your lips.

“Good morning, princess.” Jay whispered in your ear with a husky voice.

“Good morning for you too, baby.” You answered him while bringing his face closer to yours. On that movement, before you could kiss him, you caught a glance of your bedside clock. “Oh my God, Jay! Look at the time! I thought we’d agreed to get as much sleep as we could after last night!” You quickly reprehended him. “Or have you forgotten that both of us still have to go to work today?” You asked, trying to sound annoyed at him when the most you managed to do was breathe out was a moan, as he nibbed your earlobe.

“Oh, I know how much you like sleeping, babygirl. But I know that there are a few things you’d give up your sleep for.” He stated in a very sexy tone.

“And what exactly makes you think that you’re one of those things?” You teased your boyfriend, hoping he’d respond to it like you thought he would.

“Ah, just a little something,” he teased back while slowly putting his hand between your legs, not even bothering to lift the hem of the shirt you were wearing, “like this.”

“Oh, Jay…” And, just like that, you were completely fine with waking up early.

---

Throughout the day, you just couldn’t keep the smile off your face, as your boyfriend took it upon himself to be the cutest person in the world. Why? You had no idea. All you knew was that he'd gotten the day off but, since you couldn't the same, he'd decided to go to work nonetheless.

His romantics for no apparent reason started with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a note that read:

“Will you be my lunch date today? *blinking face*

P.S.: 12:00 - 13:00 is all I have. Sorry, doll :(

Meet me at our spot?

⎼ Your bae.”

He used bae. If he wasn’t so cute, and if you didn’t love him so much, you would have cringed at the choice, and he knew it. Ah, that man...

A few hours after that, you went to meet Jay for lunch at your spot ⎼ which was one of the benches along the Riverwalk, where you’d first met ⎼, absolutely decided on calling him out for being so mushy. But, as you walked closer towards him, you could see that your boyfriend was holding a picnic basket in one hand, and a bottle of champagne in the other, and, as corny as that was, you couldn’t help but grin.

“Drinking on duty now, detective?” You asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Nope. This one’s without alcohol. And, trust me, you’ll like it.” He told you, a sweet smile on his lips.

“Hum, maybe... But I wouldn’t really mind if it was bad either.” You half-whispered at Jay.

“Oh no?” He asked you with a smirk this time.

“No. The company makes up for anything else.” You said while moving to kiss him.

“Geez, babe, you're such a dork!" He said, making fun of you after the kiss was over.

"Really? That's what you're going with?" You, the dork? Big joke.

"What else can I say if it's the truth?" Jay asked you through his lashes, an innocent expression in-face.

"Look who's talking!" You said while rolling your eyes.

Not long after that, he put an end to your little banter. Saying that he didn't wanna spend another second of the few moments the two of you had until the evening arguing was an understatement. You agreed, even though you knew that both of you secretly enjoyed the bickerings as well as you did everything else.

Later, on that same day, when you were about to leave work, you decided to call your boyfriend.

"Hey, babe." He answered, on the fourth ring, voice letting on some tiredness.

"Hey there, handsome! I'm already leaving work, think I’mma go swim a little. Unless… There's a chance you're getting off a little earlier yourself?" You tried your luck, thinking about making him relax a little before you two left for dinner.

"Uh… Sorry, babe, I don't think I'll be able to." A deep sigh. Something was wrong.

"Jay. Is everything okay?" Another sigh. Shit.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, baby. Just a pain-in-the-ass case we can't seem to solve. When all I wanted to do was be home with you." He confessed.

"Huh. Now, tell me, who's the dork?" You heard his muffled laugh over the phone.

"I am. You know it. I know it. Everyone who knows us knows it." At that, you were the one who giggled. "And, believe me, I bear the title with pride." More laughing, from both of you this time.

"Okay, then… So, um, is there anything I can do? Maybe we cancel that dinner reservation?"

"No! No, not at all! You just… Go do your swimming and don't worry about me, okay?" Jay sounded a bit weird this time, but you brushed it off, thinking that it was just the stress of the day.

"Okay…" You replied, still unconvinced.

"Alright, I gotta go now. Love you."

"Okay, bye. Love you too. Be safe!"

"Always, baby." With that, he hung up quickly, which he never did ⎼ always dragging the conversations for as long as he could. But, once again, you decided to do what your boyfriend told you to and not worry about it.

It was already a bit into the evening and you were stretching your body to leave the swimming pool, when you saw him. Jay. So you got out and walked over to him.

"Fancy meeting you here, miss (y/l/n)." He greeted innocently.

"Well, this is a surprise. Yet another one. On the same day." You said, just to let him know that his weird behaviors weren't going by unnoticed.

"Ah, you know what they say… Gotta keep the relationship interesting!" Ha, ha. He was up to something. So you just gave him a suspicious look. To which he answered with a huge smile, saying: "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing besides the fact that you're up to something. What is it?"

"Oh. My. God." Jay said emphatically, faking offense. "I'm offended. You think that poorly of me?"

"What do you mean?" You asked him, a bit confused this time.

"You really think that I can't just try and brighten my princess's day?" He said, walking closer to you this time.

"Well, I guess that I wouldn't object to that, but what I'm saying is tha-" Before you could finish your sentence, he was pulling you towards him, pressing your bodies on a tight embrace and kissing you passionately.

"Oh no, Jay, you should let me go! I'm all wet!" You squeal out as Jay keeps holding you up in the air against his firm abdomen.

"I don't mind." He told you with a shrug of shoulders. "I'm used to having you like this." He, then, whispers in your ear and you can feel his smirk, as he kisses your neck.

"Jay!" You hissed in fake disapproval. "We're in public! You can't be saying these things to me in public!"

"Sorry, baby. But you know that I just can't help myself around you." He tells you, deliberately taking his time. At that, you just throw back your head in laughter. "Besides, it doesn't seem to me like you're feeling all that bothered with my actions…"

"But I am!" You said assertively. But then you remembered your conversation from earlier and asked him, in a softer tone: "Hey, um, how did the case go? Are you still feeling up for the dinner thing?" As soon as the words left your mouth, you watched Jay shift his entire demeanor.

"Yeah! We're definitely still going! And, as I told you before, the case was just a pain in the ass, nothing more." He sounded nervous. Weird. Like he was hiding something.

"Jay…"

"Let's just go, okay? Cause we still need to get ready for dinner. I already put your stuff in the duffel bag. My car's right outside." Jay told you quickly, like he didn't wanna give you time to make any conclusions.

"Okay, then…"

---

“C’mon, (y/n/n)! We’re running late!” You heard your boyfriend shouting for you to come out of your shared bedroom.

“Hey! Don’t you dare to rush me! Not when you’re the reason I’m running late in the first place!” You sharply answered, stepping out into the living room whilst putting your earring on. “Besides, that place we’re going is just too fancy. I need to look perfect.” You added more calmly, only now realizing how Jay was staring at you. “What? Is something wrong?”

“Wha- wrong? No! No!” He quickly assured you and closed the distance between the two of you. “You already look perfect. Every single day.”

“What? Jay, I’m serious!” You pouted, giving him an annoyed glare.

“I am too! You look gorgeous, baby.” He told you with that glorious smile of his. “And, really, there’s just no place on the planet that could make you look any less gorgeous.”

“Okay, now you’re just trying to get me to hurry up!” You accused, hitting him with considerable strength in the chest.

“Ouch! That hurt! And, yes, I am trying to hurry you up! Because we have a reservation!” He yelled at you in response. If it was any other time, you would’ve argued with him, of course. But even you had to admit he was right, you were on the clock.

“Okay, okay! I’m just gonna grab my purse and we’ll go!” You shouted back, already from the bedroom.

After that, the two of you managed to leave your apartment and get to the restaurant on time, due to Jay promising the cab driver a doubled pay if he went faster.

As soon as you arrived, though, you saw it was worth it. You still had no clue of what got in your boyfriend’s head to take you out on this kind of date for no apparent reason like that, especially after everything else he’d already done, but you obviously weren’t about to complain either.

The maître walked both of you two to a table on the upper floor of the establishment, it had an amazing view of the city and it was a pretty reserved space. So, right after you'd placed your orders and been left alone, you half-squealed at Jay:

"Oh. My. God." Your smile was wide and your eyes were shining. "This place is incredible, babe!" He looked at you with devotion, clearly amused by your reaction.

"I know right? I'm really glad we got to come here." He stated, his whole behavior letting you know that he was just as impressed.

And, like that, the evening flew by and you caught yourself stifling yawn after yawn.

"Baby, you’re not too desperate to go home, are you? Because there's still one thing I wanna show you." Your boyfriend said, pulling you by your hand to get up. Then, he guided you to that part where you'd been able to view most Chicago, earlier in the night.

"Wow," you said, leaning against the balcony to see the details, "this really is great, babe." When you’d walked past this part you wondered about why they hadn't put any tables there, only a small couch, but now you knew. They didn't want to make that space ⎼ that landscape ⎼ prisoner of one couple, or one family, that would most likely stay there the entire night.

"It is." He agreed with you.

"You know, I hadn't brought it up yet, because I thought that you'd eventually tell me on your own, but you've been acting a little weird the whole day. This morning in bed, the flowers, then the picnic lunch, picking me up at swimming, and now this… You didn't sound too good on that call either, and I gotta admit that when you said we were going out for a fancy dinner, I didn't think it'd be here, where it's practically impossible to get a reservation. So, just… Talk to me, Jay."

"(y/n/n)... Would you even believe me if I told you that that's what I've been preparing to do the whole day?" He asked you with a shy smile.

"Will you be mad at me if I say no?" You asked, a bit apprehensively. He just laughed.

"Nah, not really." He told you jokingly. "But I have." He said, more serious this time. “Baby, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” He started telling you.

“Jay-” You whispered nervously, sort of anticipating what was about to happen.

“No, just- just please let me finish. I need you to understand how important you are to me, princess. Hell, I know that words aren’t really my strongest suit, but you deserve to know that you’re my light, my lifeline, my happiness… You’re my everything, (y/n/n). My entire world. And, because of you, now I think that it is actually okay to dream, to hope for a better future, for a future. That’s why I wanna ask you, tonight, to be my future, just like you already are my present.” At that moment you couldn’t keep the tears off of your face anymore, and you would’ve jumped him right then if he hadn’t gotten down on one knee. “Will you marry me, (y/n) (y/l/n)?” He asked you with a timid smile and teary eyes of his own. As you took in the man you loved, kneeled before you, holding an open box with the diamond ring you’d recognized as being his mother’s, you just stood there crying, not managing to say anything. “B- baby? Please say something.” Jay spoke again, letting out a nervous choked laugh. So you forced yourself to answer him.

“Oh m- my God, yes!!” You squealed out.

“Yes?!?” He repeated what you said, still on the ground.

“Of course, yes!!!” You confirmed, pulling him up to kiss you. While at it, your boyfriend, now fiancé, almost dropped the small velvet box he was holding.

“Okay,” he started, chuckling, after the two of you parted a little, “let me put this thing on your finger before you back down!”

“Ha, ha. As if I was going to! You’re only in a hurry because you’re scared you’ll drop your mom’s ring.” You bickered a little, letting him know that you recognized the jewelry, to which he responded with a bright smile, saying:

“It’s your ring now, princess. And, trust me, she’d love you almost as much as I do if she were still here.” He told you, shining eyes meeting yours, as he slipped the stunning piece in your finger.

“Jay.” You breathed out as the tears resurfaced in your eyes. “It is so beautiful…” You told him looking down at the ring you had in-hand. “And… You really mean that?”

“100%, princess. If I’m being honest, there are a lot of times when you actually remind me of her…” He said, tearing up a little.

“Awww, babe...” You said throwing your arms around him again.

And that’s how you two stayed. Just holding each other, under a very starry night in Chicago. More than ready to start walking down that new road together.

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sainz-zayn · 3 years

Text

Treacherous 02.

Treacherous (adj.) guilty of or involving betrayal or deception.

Warnings: Swearing, insults, suggestive, money burning, this is the last part of the story

► Part 1

Word Count: 5.5k

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.

"This is wrong, we shouldn`t Y/n"

“the more I think it`s wrong, the more I want it,” You said back.

"Why now!? Why me!?" he said while shuffling his hair out of frustration.

"b-because you`re different from all of them" you stuttered out.

"Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture" that`s what they said and that`s what you always say to yourself. Now, you have realized that the more you keep telling yourself to forget about the past the more you can`t let go of it.

It`s been 2 years without him. 2 years without communication. 2 years without seeing him. Well, you hate yourself because you let him go. You hate yourself because it took you so long to move on from him or you`re just too presumptuous to think that you have already moved on.

It hurts you every time you remember the last night you`ve spent with Johnny. It`s excruciating that you cry yourself to sleep every night hugging your pillow tight just to imagine that it was him.

You get deep in thoughts that you didn`t even notice that you`re spacing out.

"Y/n? are you still listening to me?" Grayson waves his hands in front as you blink at least two times to get back in your senses.

"Oh, yeah where are we again? sorry," you said softly, and when Grayson looks in another direction you took the opportunity to send a death glare at Mark and Ten who are having fun watching you deal with Grayson Tremblay the one and only son of Mr. Tremblay.

"You gotta seize the opportunity" Mark mouthed at you while Ten pretends to clap quietly like he's amazed at Mark.

"So, as I`m saying what do you think about us?" Grayson asks you as you darted your attention back to him.

"You know I got everything and I can give you anything you want but I still don`t get why you don`t like me when everyone does. A face like this, a wealth like I have" he said which turns out to be rude while he touches his chin dramatically like there`s a mirror in front of him which makes you cringe and uncomfortable.

"You know I have the wealth you have and I don`t need the face you have" you deride.

Standing up from your seat you straightened your blazer while the speechless Grayson looks at you.

"My apologies but I`m not in the mood to pretend to like you. Now, if you don`t mind I`ll leave first" you gave him a smirk before smiling.

You leave the restaurant as soon as you can because it reminds you of Johnny. it`s where he treats you lunch when he arrives from Italy and that day is also the day you win a case. You can`t describe how much happy you are that time but now that happiness turns into a pain.

You look up in the sky it`s kind of cold and the cold breeze blowing your hair lightly when the sudden thought of why are you spending 2 years of your life being sad and living in sorrow when you can just live happily and have that picture-perfect life.

"Starting from today I`m not gonna be the same Y/n who spends 2 years of her life being sad I promise to live my life and believe in myself" you bravely said as you embrace yourself.

"I`m gonna pretend I didn`t hear that" you heard Jaehyun said.

"Yeah, It`ll be nice like that" you softly said while looking back up.

"You`re being nice today does something happened?" Jaehyun playfully asks and you answered him with a shrug because you usually hit him lightly or slap his shoulders playfully which is one of your habits.

You already forgave him it`s better if you forgive easily than to drain yourself about the things that should be forgotten and forgiven. You remember how exactly Jaehyun asked for your forgiveness. He always visits you, brings you some take-out from your favorite restaurant, and he didn`t stop until you finally forgive him.

"It`s annoying to deal with that rude jerk" you randomly said and Jaehyun chuckles as a response.

"It`s your birthday you shouldn`t be stressing yourself like this. We should have some fun" Jaehyun cheerfully said showing his two dimples with a bright smile when Ten and Mark just suddenly come out of nowhere.

"We`re in for having fun birthday girl," Ten said patting your head lightly.

"You`re not invited and also you because you keep asking me to meet Grayson today and it totally ruins my day" you pointed at Mark and he only flashes you a grin.

You climb the wall as fast as you can with the help of the one and only Jung Jaehyun and Ten Lee. You need to enter the Nakajima`s warehouse without anyone noticing because there`s a lot of money hidden in their warehouse. Is it Legal? Well, no because Nakajima will never be legal when it comes to money.

"Faster!" you whisper while Ten and Jaehyun follow behind you.

"Ten are you sure this is the place?" you question Ten while you look around the place trying not to get caught. One wrong move and the three of you will be dead.

"I`m not sure cause Kun just give me this location" He shrugged as if you`re not doing something serious.

"Guys I think this is it. Look, we need something to find where they hide the money" Jaehyun spoke motioning you and Ten to come closer.

"If there`s no other door in here then they can possibly hide it somewhere in the ground" you walk slowly trying not to make any sound when a sound of a little crack makes you stop from your track.

"Don`t move Ten" you whispered while you come closer to him.

"Now, move" he quickly getaway as you tried to pour a bottle of water into the floor.

"I knew it!" you confidently said as you slightly try to open the wooden floor with the help of Ten and Jaehyun using their strength, piles after piles of money get`s face to face with the three of you.

"This money comes from their Illegal business there`s only one thing we need to do" you look at Ten and he understands it. He gets a bag and puts a pile of money one after another until the bag gets full. Jaehyun gets the gas and slowly scatter it on the remaining pile of money which makes you smirk while you play with the lighter.

"Guys I think we have a problem" Jaehyun spoke.

"You caused it?" you playfully replied but the serious look on his face didn`t fade. You look behind you to see where he is staring and you`re shocked because there are five guys pointing guns at you.

"Oh shit!" you cursed under your breath.

"Ciao my friends" you wave your lighter at them while Ten and Jaehyun look at you weirdly.

"Don`t move! one wrong move and all of you will burn in this place!" you threaten them as they slightly walk towards you.

"Jaehyun go leave first and get the car" you ordered, slowly backing away and stepping back.

"What!? No way!" he said back.

"Are you gonna follow me or we`re all gonna die here!?" you ask with a louder voice. Jaehyun doesn`t know what to reply. So, he do as you say.

"I`ll give you a count of 20 once you didn`t leave this place you`ll burn along with this pile of money! one!" you threaten once again while they run away.

Ten aim the gun that he`s been holding at the guy in front of him being left alone he decided to run away too and you took the opportunity to throw the lighter in the pile of money as you run outside with Ten.

"Hop in!" Jaehyun said loudly while you get inside the car with a mischievous smile.

"Let`s get it!" you shout happily with the windows down your hair being blown by the air as Ten giggled at you.

You open the door with a big smile on your face while humming walking past Doyoung who is about to ask you something.

"Why is she like that today? it`s kinda weird" Doyoung asked Ten who gives him the bag that`s full of money.

"Let her enjoy herself. Now, I want you to keep this bag somewhere but make sure it`s safe" Ten said smiling at him before turning away with a humming tone leaving his lips. When Jaehyun enters the door too.

"Do you know what happened to them?" Doyoung asks Jaehyun but his younger friend only pats his shoulders with a big smile too while shaking his head lightly before leaving him alone again.

"Oh, C`mon why everyone in this house acting so weird today!" Doyoung said loudly throwing his hands down in the air after shuffling his hair annoyingly.

"Fuck! what the hell are you doing in there!?" Doyoung is startled by Haechan who is standing in the dining room`s doorway with a glass of water in his hands.

"Watching you being annoyed" Haechan simply said before handing the glass of water to Doyoung before going to his room.

"Oh, fuck!" Doyoung stomps his feet on the floor.

"Calm down what`s happening here?" Jaemin shows up on the stairs confused at his older friend.

"Shut up and ask yourself!" Doyoung huff before walking past Jaemin, Jaemin looks at his friend before pointing at himself.

"How am I supposed to do that?" Jaemin talks to himself before letting out a chortle.

"Breaking News Mr. Ferrante`s Daughter Y/n Ferrante the new CEO of Phoenix will cut their partnership with Nakajima after the scandal and revelation of tax evasion and Illegal drug dealing of Nakajima`s company" you`re sitting in the living room with a glass of wine wearing a mischievous smirk in your face.

"Vinco il mio amato nemico" you sip the wine savoring the taste of your victory. Vinco il mio amato nemico; I win my beloved enemy.

You`re having a lovely time, smiling at yourself when you are interrupted by loud waves of laughter and loud voices entering your house.

"Johnny is here everyone!" Mark announce making your eyes widen. You stand up straight while you fix your office attire. You still didn`t change and you scold yourself for that.

The door opens and the boy's loud greeting makes you flinch and happy at the same time but when Johnny enters, your smile quickly drops. There`s a woman beside him. Long hair, pretty, and classy.

You stood there awkwardly when you accidentally meet Johnny`s gaze and it makes you want to run and jump in his embrace but you know you can`t.

Everyone goes into the dining room to eat the food they prepared for Johnny`s arrival. You want to join them but it`s hard seeing someone else holding Johnny`s arm. You`re about to go upstairs hoping that no one will notice you escaping.

"Who are you? where are you going?" you heard the woman beside Johnny ask. You didn`t like her tone and the way she crosses her arms while looking at you. Mark and Ten notice it, notice that the girl is giving you attitude and you hate that the most.

"N-" you`re about to spit fire at the woman in front of you luckily Ten save you from it.

"Y/n, you should taste this cake. It`s your favorite" Ten drags you with him on the other side of the room not forgetting to send a slight glare at the woman.

"Everyone this is Cassandra and she`ll be staying here for a while" Johnny states, holding Cassandra closer to him.

"Don`t mind them and let`s just talk" Ten hands you a plate with a piece of your favorite cake in it.

"Hello, you must be Jaehyun" Cassandra offers a handshake with Jaehyun but he declines it before proceeding to talk to you.

"Hi, Y/n! it`s nice to meet you, you look beautiful only if you`re not like this" Everyone darted their attention between you and Cassandra while Ten is clearly not having it.

"Nice to meet you too Cassandra" you gave her a fake smile.

"Have you been stressed lately? not to offend you but you don`t look good" you bite your inner cheeks at her remark while Jaehyun frowns. It`s like she`s attacking you physically.

"It`s funny to hear that coming from someone like you" you eye her up and down.

"First of all who are you? no one wants you here. Second, don`t give me that bratty attitude of yours, you`re in my house and I may not look good right now but I`m much better than you`ll ever be" you bite back as you handed her the plate.

Earlier you were just being insecure but now that you see her attitude, there`s nothing to be insecure about. Johnny clenched his jaw when you and Cassandra almost have a fight but him seeing jaehyun frowns like he wants to protect you from Cassandra makes him feel things he shouldn`t be feeling. He wants to apologize to you because of Cassandra`s bad behavior but he doesn`t know-how.

"Watch your girl dude" Mark sends an intense gaze at Johnny.

The room suddenly gets silent. The silence is so loud that you can hear it. Cassandra excuses herself for a moment and when she finally leaves the whole room goes wild.

"C`mon drink it up!" Everyone cheered for Johnny before gulping a glass of liquor.

"Sexy" Jaemin shouted making everyone laugh.

Johnny decided to follow Cassandra after a minute while you watch them laughing at each other through your window. Is she Johnny`s new girlfriend? is she just a friend of his? Is there something going on between them? your mind couldn`t think properly and a lot is going on in your mind right now.

"Stop watching them and show Johnny that you`re much better than what`s her name again? Assadra? Dara?" Ten tap his fingers on the table while thinking.

"Cassandra" you corrected.

"Yeah, it doesn`t matter what her name just shows them that you`re happy and start fixing yourself so that bratty girl won`t come at you" Ten grabs the comb in your table and started combing your hair.

"You`re right" you smiled.

"I`ll give you 5 days take it or leave it" Johnny solemnly talks to Cassandra.

"Why can`t I just stay with you?" she annoyingly replied.

"Because you`re not supposed to in the first place" Johny shrug before leaving her.

"tsk!" Cassandra let out.

A week already passed you`re getting comfortable around Johnny but you can`t go on with your day without being annoyed by Cassandra. She called you unfaithful, worthless, you just let her but this time she`s really getting on your nerves.

"Shut up for fuck sake!" you retorted, anger burning inside you.

"Oh, our girl is answering now? how cute" she crosses her arms while you glare at her.

"Don`t use that tone on me, Cassandra! you bratty and cheap wannabe" you spat at her making her quiet when she suddenly grabs your hair.

"Let go!" you grab her hair harshly pulling her back while she took the opportunity to slap you which you give back when the two of you heard Johnny`s voice. Cassandra holds your hand and purposely pushes herself while she calls Johnny making your eyes widen.

"What`s happening here!?" Johnny`s loud voice boom.

"She pushes me! I`m not even doing anything to her" Cassandra plays like she`s the victim how pathetic.

"What!? you`re the one who started it!" you retorted.

Your about to walk closer to Cassandra when Johnny speaks again.

"Don`t get any closer! stop with your acts you look pathetic!" Johnny pushes you away making you shocked.

Cassandra smirk at you when Johnny helps her stand up. A tear escaped your eyes, how dare he call you pathetic when he doesn`t even know what happened.

You fix your messy hair when you accidentally bump into Jaehyun, Jaehyun saw what happened and he doesn`t like the way Johnny talks to you. You hug him tightly clutching his shirt wetting it with your tears.

"It`s okay don`t cry" Jaehyun caressed your face brushing away the strands of hair covering your face.

"She started it, she`s calling me names!" you cry out, your head in his chest and Jaehyun wishes that you can`t hear how fast his heart beating right now.

"I`m just gonna talk to him hmm?" Jaehyun kiss your forehead.

"No don`t! let`s just go somewhere. I need to clear my mind" you answered while wiping your tears away.

Jaehyun let go of you and he let you go to your room to change your clothes. "I`m sorry" Jaehyun whispered while he watches you enter your room.

You spend two years of your life with Jaehyun and he would be lying if he said that he didn`t catch any romantic feelings towards you. He hates that he`s the reason why you and his best friend broke up but still you forgave him.

Johnny and Jaehyun are talking and you can feel Johnny`s gaze on you. So, you look at him straight in his eyes and gave him a warm smile.

"C-can I talk to you for a minute?" did he just stutter? you look at Jaehyun and he nods as a sign of approval.

Johnny guides you outside of the house and the tension and awkwardness are so thick.

"I want to apologize for what I said about you earlier" Johnny spoke.

"I didn`t mean to say that and I`m sorry for Cassandra`s bad behavior" he looks at you before sighing. "I`m going to make it up to you, we`re going to your favorite place" you`re a little surprise by his statement but you could care less. All you wanted to do right now is to have time with Johnny.

You get out of the car with a smile on your face because of Johnny trying to make you laugh with his jokes. You didn`t even notice that you`re holding Johnny`s hand while the two of you walks.

"Good afternoon the two of you look like a great couple. We have a free lunch for couples that we choose and we spotted the two of you" the guy said while pushing you inside the restaurant softly with Johnny.

"No we`re-" before you can finish what you`re about to say Johnny quickly cuts you off.

"Thank you" Johnny thanks the guy before whispering at you.

"Just take it, it`s free anyway" Johnny playfully said while you slap his shoulder.

"What was that for little o- baby?" Johnny quickly changes his words when the guy arrives again.

"Nothing, baby" you fake smile while Johnny enjoys teasing you.

"Is there anything else you want to eat?" he asked as he admires your face.

"No, I`m fine thank you" you respond, finishing your food.

"C`mon let`s go somewhere fun" Johnny stands up from his seat clasping his hands to yours before paying for the food.

"But sir it`s fr-" Johnny didn`t let the guy finish his words.

"I`m going out with my woman" he gives it to the waiter before dragging you with him. You admire his back as you run with him. Did he just call you "My woman?" does he mean it? or your mind is just playing with you.

“Johnny the food is free” you explain.

“Oops, I guess?” he shrugged.

The two of you stops in front of a cotton candy shop watching them make it before giving it to you and again Johnny insists he`s the one who`s gonna pay for it.

"Have some it`s big I can`t eat all of this" you give him the cotton candy when you feel someone tugging your skirt, looking down your eyes quickly turns into awe.

"Hey, little cutie" you kneel to talk a little better with the child.

"Are you alone? where`s your parent?" you ask while caressing his soft cheeks, without you knowing that Johnny is smiling because of your soft side for babies or children.

"I can`t find my uncle please help me Ms." the child cries at you while his small hands hold your shoulder so you hug him.

"Oh, no baby it`s okay we`ll help you find your uncle okay?" you wipe away his tears using your thumb before standing up again.

"Give me that John" you point at the cotton candy.

"No way" he responds.

"Are you going to give me that or else?" crossing your arms, he gulps before giving it to you.

"Here have some of this" you handed the cotton candy to the child.

"Hey, here have some water" Johnny sat on one of the benches making the little kid sit on his lap.

"Young-soo there you are! are you okay hmm?" the child runs to the guy embrace.

"Yuta!? he`s your nephew?" you asked.

"Y/n? Johnny? yes, he is I`m scared to death that I can`t find him" he said while brushing the boy`s hair.

"I need to leave now, see you later the both of you" Yuta send you a wink which you gave back.

"Buy me some Ice cream" you drag him inside the ice cream shop.

Johnny thinks that this is one of the happiest moments of his life after two years. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way your skin will touch his, he missed it all.

"Buy me the vanilla one" you point at it like a kid waiting for her award.

"Okay, then little one" you sit there for a few minutes waiting for Johnny.

You and Johnny sat there while talking about random things. The two of you sat there while everyone can perceive that the two of you are existing for each other.

"Johnny look!" you damp the top of ice cream in his lips making him close his eyes.

"Y/n! come here" you giggled while he runs after you going in circles.

"The two of you really love each other don`t you?" you`re startled by the old good looking woman beside you.

"Oh, no he`s just" before you can be finished talking Johnny already backs hug you before doing the same thing you did to him.

"Oh my gosh, Johnny Suh!" you slap his shoulders.

"I should go now sorry for interrupting your time with your boyfriend and you, you better take care of this beautiful woman" the old woman points at Johnny with a smile.

"Will do, ma'am" he replied slightly bowing his head.

"What was that for!?" you slap his shoulders again.

"what? we already pretend that we`re a couple in the restaurant so why not do it until the end of the day" he teases as you walk away.

"Hey, where are you going?" he grabs your wrist.

"Home!"

"I need to go somewhere before we go home" the two of you stops in front of a jewelry shop. Johnny wants you to come inside with him but you decline.

"What are we? No, Y/n stop he`s just doing this to show that he's sorry about earlier!" you mentally slap yourself, shaking away the thought about it.

"I`ll buy this necklace please" Johnny looks at you with a smile which you gave back.

"Thank you for tonight Johnny" you smiled while the two of you stand there as if there`s nothing else to think about. Eye to eye, hearts thumping fast.

"You`re welcome I ha-" your phone rings from your purse. So, you excuse yourself to answer it.

You feel bad for leaving Johnny alone just because of a phone call but you really need to have some time alone to clear your mind.

"He calls me her woman did he mean it? I mean like, it`s hard to explain what I feel right now Ten!" you whine as he thinks of a way to make you talk to Johnny again.

"Ten! Chittapon! Adriano! or whatever your name is my beloved brother by heart what should I do?" you ask continuing to whine while shaking Ten by his shoulder.

"Okay, stop shaking me will you?" Ten makes you sit in your bed.

"Why don`t you go and talk to him? I think he`s still in the kitchen downstairs doing something," he advises. "And talk to him the two of you are an adult so handle it like an adult" he solemnly looks at you before you finally gathered up your courage.

"Thank you Ten you`re the best!" you give him a big hug before leaving to go downstairs.

"you can do this Y/n!" you cheer for yourself but before you can enter the kitchen you quickly hide against the wall.

"C`mon don`t you want me?" Cassandra clings his arms against Johnny`s shoulders.

"Cassandra!"

"Johnny, don`t you understand? I love you, only you and no one else!" you heard Cassandra`s voice while you peek against the wall to see what`s happening.

"Cassandra I love-" before you know it, your tears are also running to your cheeks. Was he about to say that he loves her too? you look at them the way Cassandra tiptoes to kiss Johnny straight in the lips the one you used to call yours.

You suppress your sobs by covering your mouth with one of your hands when someone suddenly pulls you.

"Don`t cry, I`m here" Jaehyun`s comforting words make you cry more.

"It hurts Jaehyun, it hurts" you cried.

"I`m sorry this is all my fault if I haven't done that thing two years ago the two of you will be happy. I`m sorry Y/n" he whispers while hugging you tight.

"It`s not your fault stop blaming yourself" you stated softly.

A soft silence embraces the whole room when Jaehyun pulls you closer to him again but this dangerously close that you can feel the warm thumping of his heart. Trying to pull away but he tightens the hug more.

"Shh..." he put his index finger in his lips at the same time you saw Cassandra walking out of the kitchen with a smile.

"You look beautiful bae" Ten complimented making you smile.

"As always" you added playfully.

Smiling is easy, being playful is easy but trying to hide the pain is hard. Seeing him tonight doesn`t help with the situation at all. He`s all alone and no any sign of Cassandra maybe this is your chance to talk to him? but before you know it, you`re feet are now walking towards him. Great, just great your body is now betraying you too.

"Johnny, can we talk in private?" you ask, you`re gonna lie if you said you`re not nervous.

"Yeah, sure" his voice is distant, you know that tone.

The two of you go to his room to talk and it feels so comforting yet foreign. You miss the warmth that you used to feel in his room.

"What are we?" you go straight to the point which caught Johnny off-guard.

"What do you mean by what are we?" he asks making you slightly offended but the fact is Johnny doesn`t know too.

"Johnny, I still love you and I still like you" you waste no time holding his hands but he rejects it.

"This is wrong, we shouldn`t Y/n"

“the more I think it`s wrong, the more I want it,” You said back.

"Why now!? Why me!?" he said while shuffling his hair out of frustration.

"b-because you`re different from all of them" you stuttered out.

"We c-can`t" Johnny replied with a little coldness in his voice. He never refuses to you before, he`s really different now.

"Why not!?" you asked with slight anger in your voice.

"because I like someone else, I love someone else" he quickly defends to stop you from saying anything else.

"If you don`t love me anymore you should`ve said it, it`s like you`re pushing me away. If that`s what you like I`m not gonna bother you anymore Johnny" you look at him with teary eyes making his cold aura softened, he hates it when you cry especially when it`s because of him. You turn away from him, immediately leaving his room without looking back.

Johnny watches you leave his room until he can`t see your small figure anymore. Johnny`s loud yelling and his expensive things breaking and shattering on the floor are heard from the outside of his room. He runs his fingers to his hair once again, not caring if his knuckles are bleeding from the impact when he punches the table.

You press your palms on your lips to prevent any sound of your sobs from coming out, you just lean on his door letting your tears fall as you heard him let his anger out.

Like a flash of lightning, your memories with Johnny flashback. The way he will smile at you, the way he touches you, the way he will hold you close, the way he will get sulky whenever he's jealous, the way he comforts you whenever you`re down, and most importantly you miss his I love you`s.

"Will, I ever get to hear that again?" you smiled at yourself in the mirror with tears brimming in your eyes.

You hate how weak you are when it comes to Johnny because he is the first man, whoever makes you feel love and introduced you to so many things he is all of your first.

"Who the hell do you think you are huh!?" The older one pushes his younger friend harshly.

"Well, I`m the man who can act like one more than you are! you coward" Jaehyun argued back.

"Look, who`s talking! if you want her then go get her I don`t care!" Johnny can`t control his anger that he`s saying things he doesn`t even mean to.

"If you didn`t go to her right now I will make sure that I`m gonna make her mine!" Johnny grabs Jaehyun by the collar of his shirt.

"See? you`re being like this because you don`t want anyone calling her theirs because you want it to be you, you want her to be yours" Jaehyun sigh throwing his head back from frustration.

"Jaehyun punch me" Jaehyun is taken aback by his friend`s sudden request.

"What!?"

"I said fucking punch me!" without wasting any seconds Jaehyun lands a punch in Johnny, a little harder than he thought it`ll turn out.

Johnny touches his bleeding cut on the lips making him more awake with the reality.

"I need to go, let`s talk tomorrow" Johnny quickly leave his friend alone in the club at midnight.

A soft knock interrupts you when you`re almost falling into a deep sleep. Another soft knock following one another until that knocking in your door turns into a loud banging.

You quickly get up from your bed opening the door of your room, your heart almost jumps out of your chest because of the person right in front of you.

"What are you doing here?" you try to sound calm as possible not wanting to have another breakdown right in front of the man you loved.

"I thought that if I acted like it didn`t matter, then it wouldn`t. Please give me a chance, tell me that you`re not giving up" this time he`s the one who`s breaking down in front of you. You don`t know what to say, you don`t know what to do.

"I`ve never given up on us, my heart wants your lips, smile, love, smell, style. I love everything about you, I hope you knew how much it hurts me when you leave." you cup his face wiping away the tears brimming out of his eyes while he holds your hands smoothly grazing his thumbs against it.

"but you need to go to her" you whispered timidly hearts breaking into pieces, voice shaking and hands trembling.

"We`re nothing Y/n, I know that you saw what happened in the kitchen yesterday night. I will say that I love you and nothing else but you and I will never stop" he explains, forehead resting in one another.

Nose touching, breath fanning, hearts thumping, tears falling, and one passionate kiss.

"Never leave me again Johnny Suh," you said in between the kiss.

"I`ll never do that again I love you Y/n"

"You promise my baby?" Johnny can`t help but smile that you call him that again.

"I promise" he answers with a soft smile, leading him to your bed to cuddle. Of course, he`s the bigger spoon.

"I want two babies," you said out of nowhere.

"How about three?"

"No, two it is" you stated.

"Let`s make them then" Johnny hovers above you.

"Oh, gosh shut up and go to sleep Suh" you slap his chest playfully.

"Give me a kiss then" Still hovering above you.

"No!" you tease.

"Then let`s make them tonight" He flashes you a wide grin.

"Okay, I`ll give you a kiss" you giggle.

"No, I want babies." and he covers the two of you with the blanket.

You are the soul that fits into mine- Bliss

118 notes · View notes

sorryimananti-romantic · 3 years

Text

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 4

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 6.6k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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Seohyun was waiting for Jiwoo for quite a while now, sitting on the desk in her room, doodling in her notebook. She sighed as she shut it, a bit frustrated. It was not like Jiwoo to leave her hanging.

Seohyun considered going out; it was highly likely that Jiwoo was at their usual spot- the park near the school, her home, or the accident site. It was about 10 pm. Wasn't that late, was it? She got up, but stopped.

Maybe Jiwoo needed space.

It was probably this, but Seohyun couldn't help fearing that she had just moved on. If she'd gotten her memories back, that could mean that she was a whole different person now. She might not be the Jiwoo she knew anymore.

Seohyun fell on her bed, staring at the wall, and suddenly felt goosebumps.

"Took you long enough," Seohyun said, not bothering to look at Jiwoo, who had just entered the room.

"Don't tell me you were waiting for me," Jiwoo smirked.

"Oh, why would I?" Seohyun smirked back, and made space for Jiwoo, who sat on the bed with her. "So?"

"So, my dear friend," Jiwoo began, clearly excited to tell her her life story.

And she did. She was Ahn Jiwoo, daughter to two loving parents and a sister to a 16 year old brother. She'd had a pretty normal life; her father was a finance manager and her mother a housewife, and she had a lot of friends during her school years too. The rumours about her father being some sort of criminal were wrong; she had to face those rumours in her life too. They had her confused with another Jiwoo in her class.

"So we were a group of four friends; 2 boys and 2 girls. I was kind of a rebel in my last few months of life, because I just found life boring. I wanted an adventure. Something new. I wanted to travel too. So I was suggesting to my friends that we should do something. They were all busy in their own ways, and I didn't understand. I kept bugging them. So when we were in that restaurant, we had an argument. I knew it was my fault. I stormed off, and I was just about to go back when I got hit by a car."

"Oh... so then you went to the hospital, and they found out you lost your memories?"

"Right," she said, "But I was already in a critical condition. Brain damage led me to death."

"Ah..." Seohyun stared at her. Jiwoo's eyes were sad as she told her this, but she looked content. "So the reason you stayed..."

"The reason I stayed was not one, but two. I wanted to make sure my friends didn't blame themselves and my parents had moved on. And I spent the whole day making sure that was the case."

"And the other reason?"

"I want an adventure," she said and smiled brightly.

"Ugh, you ghosts! You stay for the most stupid reasons!" Seohyun mocked and dramatically threw her head in her hands, which made Jiwoo hit her with a pillow until she was laughing.

"That's my last wish, Seohyun. You think you could do that for me? Go on an adventure with me?"

"Haven't you had enough of adventure though? I mean, living with me is an adventure in itself-"

"I already talked to San," Jiwoo said, catching her attention. "He actually thought it was a nice idea. So we're going on an adventure this week. He said he'll make it a surprise for me."

"Hey, hey, that's not fair? You didn't even ask me!"

"I didn't have to," Jiwoo flipped her red hair.

------------

"I don't know why I ever agreed to this," Seohyun sighed, handing her bag to Wooyoung who put it with the other few bags.

"Stop being a boomer and get in," Wooyoung said, and Seohyun did, muttering how she should have never suggested this.

"Should've thought before you planned all of it," Jongho snickered and Seohyun shot a glare.

"Everybody's in?" Hongjoong asked and they looked at each other, shouting a yes. Hongjoong gave a thumbs up and took the front seat of the van after shutting the door.

Everyone, including Jiwoo, who couldn't stop smiling, were seated. Seohyun had asked her mom to lend her a van that could fit 10 people, and though her mom had raised her brows in question, she had agreed when Seohyun said it was a trip with friends. She had just been surprised she had friends that were not ghosts, so without further questions (quite conveniently) she agreed, on the condition that the driver would be someone from the company.

She did raise a question when she found out that she was the only girl in the whole group, and there were only 9 people. Seohyun finally told her she was doing a favour for a ghost who had saved her life, and her mother made her promise she'd tell her the story someday.

They were going to Muchangpo Beach. They decided they'd see the sunset there. It was close to Seoul and the only place they could afford to travel and have an 'adventure'. They'd have a fun time, the boys promised, saying everything was fun when they were together.

Jiwoo was sitting between San and Wooyoung, and the three of them were chatting. Seohyun smiled when she saw that San was her voice; he'd say whatever she had to say.

She herself was in the middle row with Seonghwa and Yeosang by her sides. The two of them were also half bent backwards, listening to whatever the three of them were talking about. Seohyun had plugged her earphones in but she wasn't playing any music yet. She just listened to them talk.

"Tell us something about Seohyun," Wooyoung asked, giggling. Seohyun smiled inwardly.

"Well, Seohyun," Jiwoo thought, "she's quite rude, isn't she?"

"She's quite rude, isn't she?" San did his job, and the five of them laughed.

"She's not that rude,~" Seonghwa casted a glance at her, sighing in relief when he thought she couldn't hear him. Seohyun bit her cheek from the inside to stop smiling.

"She's scared of crows, of all thing," Jiwoo revealed, and the boys laughed a little. "She'll never show it, but when more than three crows are around, she runs for her life."

"Ah, I haven't ever noticed," Yeosang said, rubbing his chin, "she can hide it really well."

"Tell us some ghost story," Wooyoung asked. He was clearly enjoying this.

"I have a good one!" Jiwoo exclaimed and everyone seemed to scoot closer. "There was once a boy about her age who had the most stupid reason to not move on."

San almost stopped as he narrowed his eyes at Jiwoo and she assured him it was not Joon Hyuk. So San told the boys, and asked them to guess.

"He wanted an adventure too?" Yeosang laughed.

Jiwoo pouted, but said it could fall in that category, but it was a different sort of adventure. She told them to let their imagination run wild.

As San told the boys, Seohyun decided this was her cue to interrupt. "We are NOT going to talk about that!"

Wooyoung screamed a little in surprise. "Weren't you listening to music?!"

Jiwoo was just laughing and Seohyun bared her teeth at her, making everyone laugh and wonder just what sort of adventure did the boy want. After a hundred pleads from the boys, Seohyun finally told them that it didn't actually happen; she just threatened the ghost in unimaginable ways, making him move on without his desire.

"I think I have an idea of what happened," Yeosang thought, amusement in his eyes, "But I am too afraid to voice it out."

"I think you got it then," Seohyun nodded in approval and Yeosang gaped at her.

"You got it tough, friend," he said, patting her shoulder to comfort her. San and Wooyoung were pouting very loudly, and Seonghwa just stared at Yeosang and Seohyun as understanding passed between them.

"You both are so weird," Seonghwa finally said.

"If I tell you, Seonghwa, you'll drown in shame. Better protect your ears and your pure mind," Seohyun grinned.

San and Wooyoung exchanged glances, frowning, but they shook their head. It couldn't be that bad. Could it?

Seohyun plugged her earphones again, deciding she'd take a nap and actually played music this time.

-----------

"We're here!"

Seonghwa shook her awake, and Seohyun slowly opened her eyes, her hand going in front of her eyes as she blocked the sunlight. She took off her earphones and the sound of waves hit her, making her smile. She adjusted her green dress that reached below her knees, and put her hat on.

She saw that Jiwoo was already out, running along the beach, and San was watching her with a smile on his face. He turned back, meeting eyes with Seohyun, who suddenly felt out of breath.

San was handsome- painfully handsome. And the plain white shirt he wore didn't help. His hair was flying due to the breeze and he ran a hand through them, cocking his head to the side as he watched her.

The sun making his skin glow didn't help either.

Seohyun cleared her throat and joined him, and they both watched Jiwoo, in her jeans and green T shirt that she had died in- her permanent outfit, running as freely as she could, her red hair flowing behind her, her laugh ringing in the air.

"I didn't know she'd be that happy to see the beach. Hasn't she been here before?" Seohyun asked.

"I think she has. She knew the way. And I'm almost suspicious she's doing this just to annoy you," San answered.

As if on cue, Jiwoo stopped, doing a weird dance, then started twerking-

"And that's our cue to look away," Seohyun grabbed San, now laughing, by his arm and went to join the others. "They didn't have to come. They can't see her."

"We figured out a way to enjoy with her even if we can't see her," San smirked.

And that was how, a few moments later, they all were assembled in a circle playing cards.

"Why do I think San and Seohyun are cheating on us with Jiwoo?" Yunho looked at them suspiciously.

"How do you think the cards are in the air?" Seohyun asked, and Yunho grinned. She had a point. To anyone who could not see Jiwoo, it would look like a bunch of cards were in the air.

"I WON!" Jiwoo smacked the final card and jumped in the air. Seohyun gaped at her.

"You cheated!" She shouted.

"I was sitting with you the whole time, don't give me that shit," Jiwoo smirked.

San told them that she had, indeed, won without cheating and everybody groaned. Mingi dragged the food basket and him and Jongho started spreading the food.

"Can she really not eat?" Jongho asked.

"I'm afraid not," Seohyun answered.

"Isn't it rude to eat in front of a ghost?" Jiwoo put her hands on her hip and Seohyun popped a cherry in her mouth, saying, "It is."

San scoffed. Jiwoo kicked Seohyun's leg lightly and said she was going to walk. The rest of them started to eat.

"I heard the sunset here is very pretty," Seonghwa said.

"I've been here before," Mingi took a bite of his sandwich, "It really is the prettiest."

After eating a little, Seohyun looked in the distance where Jiwoo was standing near the shore, the waves flowing near her. Jiwoo looked back and started walking towards them, then stopped halfway and gestured at them to come.

"She's calling us," San said, and they all got up, joining Jiwoo.

"I want to play in the water," Jiwoo said.

"What's stopping you?" Seohyun asked.

"With you all, you dumbass," Jiwoo laughed and took her hand, leading her to the shore.

"Hey, hey, easy there," Seohyun laughed and let out a little yelp as the waves hit her bare feet. "The water is so cold!"

Jiwoo bent down and sprayed the water on Seohyun, smirking.

"Oh no, you did not!" Seohyun bent down and sprayed back before she could run. And so started a battle of getting each other wet. They all forgot all their worries for a while, running around in the waves, laughing as loudly as they could, laughing even louder when one of them got Jiwoo. By the time it got darker, they were all quite wet.

Yunho and Yeosang ran back to get towels for everyone, throwing them one each, and wondering if Jiwoo should have a towel. Seohyun said there was no need, but Jiwoo snatched hers once she was done.

"The sunset's here, guys," Yeosang said.

They all stood silently, side by side, watching the sky change to brilliant shades of candy, the sun reflecting on the sea. It was breathtakingly beautiful. At some point, Jiwoo crossed her hand with Seohyun's, and she turned to look at her face. Her red hair shone brightly and her eyes were wet.

"I want it to be the last thing that I see before I go," Jiwoo almost whispered. Seohyun's heart sank in her knees. It was really happening.

Jiwoo looked at San and smiled widely, San smiled back and waved at her. Jiwoo asked him to tell everyone that she was thanking them for doing so much for her. They all assured her it was nothing, and said they were gonna miss her.

San looked at Seohyun, nodding and urged the others to come with him. Only Jiwoo and Seohyun remained now, facing the sunset.

"It's really happening," Jiwoo finally said. A cry of pain escaped Seohyun's mouth. She couldn't take it anymore. Jiwoo rubbed her hand comfortingly, making her face herself. "You've given me an adventure. The time I spent with you, that was enough. Today was for you, Seohyun."

"Are you serious?" Seohyun asked.

Jiwoo nodded. "I told everyone it was for me, but no. It was for you. A gift for helping me out so much. For being a friend. A little sister that I always wanted."

Seohyun smiled sadly, "I'm gonna miss you so, so much. I got used to you, I shouldn't have."

"I know," Jiwoo smiled, kissing her forehead and wrapping her in a hug. Seohyun closed her eyes and inhaled. "Don't cry on me right now, Seohyun."

Seohyun laughed a little. "I'm trying not to, you're making it harder by reminding me!" She opened her eyes and saw the boys, watching them from a distance.

"I hope you'll open your heart more, Seohyun. That's my last wish. You had a tough life, but you have so many people, dead and alive, who love you. I hope you remember that, always."

"Unnie..." A tear escaped Seohyun.

Jiwoo watched the sunset, Seohyun in her arms, and it was perfect.

She closed her eyes.

----------------

Seohyun felt it, felt her presence fade away. She was no longer hugging Jiwoo. She stood for a few seconds before finally collapsing on the sand and she shuddered as tears began to flow. She put her face in her hands and cried her heart out.

The boys approached her, sitting around her, rubbing her back, telling her that it was okay. She just cried and cried, and she knew she was letting go of Joon Hyuk along with Jiwoo too. The proper goodbye that she had so badly wanted, she finally got it.

San put her arms around her and brought her closer, caressing her hair. After a few minutes, she was out of tears. She let her hair cover her face as she rested her head on San's shoulder, trying to normalize her breath.

Jongho handed her a water bottle. She managed a smile and took a few sips, rubbing her eyes. The boys looked at each other. They weren't sure what they should do next.

"God damn me if I ever befriend a ghost again," Seohyun said and finally laughed, making everyone else laugh along.

"Are you okay?" Hongjoong asked.

"Yes, I am, actually," she said, wiping her eyes again. "I'm done crying for a while now." Her eyes went to San, who understood and smiled.

"Alright, let's get some dinner."

-----------

The driver had dropped Seohyun home now, and was on the way to drop the rest of them. As Seohyun entered her home, it felt strange. She felt utterly alone now that she knew Jiwoo wasn't gonna be back ever.

She tried to recall the time, only a few months ago, when she hadn't met Jiwoo yet. What did she even do in her spare time? She could not remember.

Seohyun went in her room and changed into her PJs first. After she combed her hair and scrolled a bit, she got up to turn off the light and saw something lying on her desk.

It was a painting. Of Jiwoo and her, cheek to cheek, smiling, the black cat in their arms. Seohyun gasped a little and examined it. It was really well drawn. Who made it?

She turned the page and saw something written on the back of it:

Seohyun,

I remember now that I loved painting. Since we don't have any photos, I captured us in this painting. Now you have a photo!

Love always, Jiwoo unnie ^^

Seohyun laughed a little as she read how she had addressed herself. "I guess you really liked being called unnie," she thought out loud.

She set the painting on her bookshelf. After being content with its position, she turned off the light, and slept surprisingly peacefully throughout the night.

------------

"I swear to god if you don't make fun of me when I do something stupid, I'm never gonna talk to you all again."

"Well, that's new," Yeosang commented, "You're begging for it now."

"Better that then you all being like this!" Seohyun let out a frustrated sigh.

The boys were being ridiculously sensitive with Seohyun, and she was feeling absolutely uncomfortable. She hadn't noticed it the first two days, but then she noticed in the little things; how they'd always offer her food before eating themselves, how they'd always accompany her, etc. She had enough of the special treatment.

"You're acting like someone died," Seohyun said.

"Back at it with the dead jokes are you?" San shook his head.

"Technically, Jiwoo was dead," Jongho remarked.

"So did she die twice then?" Mingi wondered.

"Oh please," Seohyun sighed again, "I just want you all to act like we used to. No more special treatment. Please, this makes it worse. I'm already at terms with Jiwoo going. It was bound to happen."

"Alright, alright," Seonghwa said and shushed her. "We didn't know what else we could do. Back to normal, okay?"

"Thank you," Seohyun truly meant it. "Also, I think I'm ready to share my drums." The boys hooted except one.

"Are you angry?" Mingi asked. Seohyun immediately turned to San, who was suddenly interested in Wooyoung's fingernails.

"Now I am," Seohyun muttered, and San smiled without meeting her eyes. The teacher came and interrupted their session, so they went back to studying.

After school was over, the boys decided to go to their warehouse, while Seohyun asked if anyone would help her bring the drums. San volunteered and they walked to her home, the black cat in San's hand.

As they walked, talking about how it looked like the cat missed Jiwoo, San stopped in his tracks. "I think you have a guest."

Seohyun looked ahead and saw a middle aged man dressed like a doctor. He was a ghost. Seohyun shared a look with San and went ahead.

"How can I help you?" Seohyun asked. The ghost got startled when he saw that San could see him too.

Jiwoo had once explained that to ghosts, Seohyun shined a little brighter than the rest of the humans, which was how they knew. Seohyun had just thought she was crazy but now she realized, now that she was with San, that it must be true.

Or maybe Jiwoo hadn't been joking that one time when she said there was a banner on top of her head and every ghost could see it, only Seohyun couldn't.

"I was told you'd help me," the doctor said. Seohyun nodded and he continued. "I made a mistake. I operated on a patient and it went wrong. It was my fault. The patient lost his vision. They were going to sue me, but when I tried to settle it, we had an argument. They gave up on suing me, saying I wasn't even worth the trouble.

"It was a few days later. I went into a slump and started drinking a lot. I was on the roof of the hospital and it wasn't my intention, but I slipped. That's how I died."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Seohyun said, "How can I help you move on then?"

"I want to let the patient know that I truly am sorry, and I want to let my family, just my family know that it wasn't a suicide. I wouldn't leave them behind on purpose."

"But... isn't it easier for your family this way? Than knowing that you are now a ghost? That it wasn't an accident?"

"I think," San began, "that he's right. It's more easier for them if they know he didn't commit suicide. They'd feel really bad if they think he left them on purpose. No one wants that from the people they love."

The doctor smiled thankfully at San. "I'll take you to the patient first," he said and asked if he should teleport the two of them.

"Do you want to come? You don't have to," Seohyun said.

San stroked the cat's head. "I want to."

"I don't know if it's safe for San to teleport. So we'll take the mundane route. Lead the way, sir."

"It's quite a distance. I hope you have money for taxi," the doctor said.

On the way to the patient's house, they had a nice chat with the doctor. He told them about his life, back when he was famous for being a good surgeon. He had never made a mistake and he had always held pride in that. But with this particular patient, he took a risk he knew he shouldn't have.

He told them he had a 10 year old daughter and he wanted her to become a doctor too. He wanted her to know that it was good to save people, and she shouldn't be afraid to take risks but also be careful at the same time and know her limits.

Seohyun was actually touched by the whole thing. It was good to have ghosts like these once in a while; nice, well-mannered ghosts.

They reached the patient's house. It was in a posh area; the patient himself must be rich. The house looked more like a mansion from the outside. Upon ringing the doorbell, a woman appeared, who the doctor told them was his wife. She seemed to be past 50s.

"We're relatives of Dr. Lee, the one who operated on your husband. We're here to discuss things about the case."

The woman passed them a skeptical look, "The doctor passed away, didn't he? We gave up on the case altogether. What do you want now?"

"We just want to talk to Mr. Cho. It's important. Please."

The woman let them in, guided them to the chairs in the garden and said she'd bring her husband. San and her sat down, admiring the lush gardens. The doctor paced worriedly.

"It will be alright. I have a way with words," Seohyun assured the doctor.

The husband and wife arrived; San and Seohyun got up and greeted them respectfully. "I am Seohyun, Dr. Lee's distant relative. This is San, my cousin."

"Have a seat," he said and they all settled down, including the wife. Seohyun sighed and decided she'd get to the point.

"Dr. Lee made a mistake. You must know that," Seohyun said. The wife looked at her husband worriedly.

"So he says," Mr. Cho said, staring in the distance.

"He wants to apologize, sincerely. I'll get to the point. He's here right now. I can see ghosts, the dead who have not moved on. He had unfinished business here, because he wanted to sincerely apologize. He won't be able to move on until he hears your forgiveness."

"Is this a prank?" Mrs. Cho asked, but Mr. Cho shushed her.

"I hope you can prove he's here," Mr. Cho said.

"Dr. Lee told you about some ginseng plant right before you went under anesthesia. No one was there when he told you, right?"

"That's true," Mr. Cho smiled. His wife began to complain but he raised a hand. "That's interesting. My father had a friend. He could see ghosts too. Are you the Mediator?"

San and Seohyun looked at each other in surprise. "That's what they call me, yes."

Mr. Cho laughed a little. "I used to not believe my father and that friend of his for the longest time, until I saw something and couldn't believe my eyes. That's why I believe you too, girl. You're doing a good job."

"Thank you," Seohyun said.

"So Dr. Lee is here? I can speak directly to him?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright. Dr. Lee, it was your fault, I know. But I truly forgive you. There are things we cannot avoid. We call it fate or destiny. What's bound to happen, fortune or misfortune, happens and you cannot avoid it. That's what I believe. I want you to move on, without the burden of my accident holding you back. You didn't do it on purpose, and that is enough for me."

Tears escaped Mrs. Cho's eyes and she wiped them. Seohyun muttered to San, 'wise man', and they watched Dr. Lee's eyes shine with tears to as he said his apology and thanks. Seohyun conveyed the message.

They were offered tea, but Seohyun told them they had to get home. The man offered to help Seohyun out if she ever had trouble with this Mediator job. She accepted, saying she would pay a visit someday.

The three of them left the house, standing in the street and reflecting on what had happened.

"That went rather smoothly," Seohyun commented.

"I know!" San widened his eyes at her.

"Thank you, Seohyun. It really does feel like a burden off my shoulder."

"No problem, we should move now. What's the next job?"

"I don't think I can see them like this," the doctor said. "I love my daughter and my wife very much. Seeing them would want me to stay. Do you think I can write a letter to my wife? You can give it to her tomorrow."

"Will your wife believe that it was really written by you?"

"We had a secret code between us; we created it. If I mention it in the letter, she'll have to believe it. And she'll recognize my handwriting too."

San and Seohyun decided that was convenient, and Seohyun handed the doctor a pen and paper. He wrote a short one, muttering something about how the less he wrote the better it would be. Then he folded it and handed it to Seohyun.

"I trust you. You'll give the letter tomorrow, right? I wrote the address on the other page."

"I will deliver it personally."

"Thank you," the doctor smiled. "Do you think I'll be able to watch over my daughter?"

"Maybe you will," Seohyun said.

"Guardian angel," San added, making the doctor smile as he disappeared. He had moved on.

"Well," Seohyun said, "That was quick. I love it when ghosts are wise enough to actually know how to handle their mess."

San scoffed. "Let's go."

-------------

Grabbing some coffee from a café they passed by, they took a taxi to Seohyun's home. Seohyun insisted that they should eat before they packed the drums and go to the warehouse. San helped her set the table. She had made pasta last night, which she reheated, and had some chocolates for dessert.

"Does your mom ever come home?" San asked as he nibbled on the chocolate.

Seohyun yawned. San reflected. They both were tired and sleepy now. "She has an apartment near her office so she only comes once a week here."

San yawned again and Seohyun laughed. "Should I let you nap?"

San smiled lazily. "Let's just pack the drums while you're still angry. I don't want you to change your mind."

Seohyun threw the wrapper at him and he caught it before it hit his face, throwing it right back. She dodged it. "Come on, let's dismantle it."

It took them ten minutes to dismantle and pack the drums. But it was already night time, and the boys had locked the warehouse and gone home when San asked them.

"Well, I'll call them here tomorrow. They should take it if they want it so much."

"Good idea." San said, yawning again.

"I think if I let you go home now, you're gonna fall asleep in the middle of the road. Take a power nap, San."

"Oh no, I shouldn't. I'll just go," he said and walked past her, only to be grabbed by the arms and led to a room despite him insisting he was not THAT sleepy.

San entered the room and immediately knew it was Seohyun's. The potted plants, the books, the mess. And the painting.

"So that's the painting, eh," he said, walking towards it and looking at the detail, absolutely wowed by it.

"How do you know? I don't think I mentioned," Seohyun narrowed her eyes.

"Jiwoo told me she left a gift for you," he smiled. Seohyun went to stand with him, looking at the painting with him.

"She's really good," she said.

San looked down at her. She felt so small; he was about a head taller than her. He turned towards her, his hand going to play with her hair. "You're really okay, right?"

"I am, San," Seohyun assured him. "I do feel lonely when I'm home, but you guys make up for it everyday."

San nodded. He was still playing with her hair. Seohyun suddenly flushed; they were standing quite close to each other. San noticed her looking at him, her light brown eyes shining.

He seemed to be searching her eyes for something. And Seohyun wasn't sure what it was, but she felt her heart pumping louder every second. She was, oh god, she was so attracted to him. He made her feel so many things just by looking at her.

"What are you looking at?" Seohyun asked- almost whispered.

"You," San said, bringing his hand to cup her face, surprised when she leaned in to his touch and closed her eyes. It made him melt. He brought her in for a hug and she gladly wrapped her arms around his waist, his small waist. She could hear his heart beat just as loudly. San rested his face on her head, rocking them back and forth. He didn't want to let go, he wanted to stay like this as long as he could.

Seohyun sighed. All she could think about was how he felt. Her mind was truly blank.

San finally broke apart a little, Seohyun's arms still around his waist. He was staring at her, his hands cupping her face, putting stray hair behind her ears. Seohyun wanted to do the same to him, but at the same time she didn't want to let go of him.

"Seohyun, Seohyun," he whispered, loving the sound of her name on his lips. She bit her lip. It seemed like they just stared at each other for the longest time, afraid to say anything, until Seohyun smiled at the situation.

San kissed her forehead first, a light peck. When she didn't move away, he tilted her face a bit upwards to kiss her cheekbone, then her cheek, leaving butterfly kisses, making her tremble all over. She clenched his shirt tighter, out of breath already. Their noses brushed and she loved the feeling of it, his breath warm on her. And when their lips brushed, San finally kissed her properly.

And Seohyun's mind went blank.

San's hand went behind her neck and Seohyun finally left his waist, only to cup his face herself as she guided him along. They tasted chocolate on each other. Seohyun was deepening the kiss, she just couldn't get enough. San mirrored her movements, following along, making her bend backwards until her back hit the desk and her hand went to rest on it for support.

San broke apart to catch his breath. His eyes were glazed, and so were Seohyun's. He put his hand on Seohyun's, the one that was on the desk, and with a sultry look and half a smile, he kissed her again, so passionately that it made Seohyun curve back and back until San was half on top of her.

When they broke apart, finally short of breath, Seohyun smirked. "I thought you were sleepy."

"I still am," he said, resting her forehead against her and smiling, eyes shut.

Seohyun lead him to her bed, making him sit. She bit her lip and smirked as she positioned herself on San's lap. San held her by her waist and let her kiss him; on his cheeks, like he had done, a peck on his nose which made him laugh, and finally a kiss to the lips.

"God, the way you make me feel, Choi San!" She sighed dramatically.

"And how do I make you feel?" He questioned. Seohyun shook her head. "I'll tell you later. Now we sleep."

San set his alarm for a power nap and with Seohyun in her arms, they both slept peacefully. When the alarm did go off, Seohyun didn't budge. With a kiss on her forehead, he left the house.

----------

"There's something wrong with Seohyun," Yeosang announced and everyone turned to look at him.

"There's more?" Wooyoung asked sarcastically and Seohyun glared at him, turning to look at Yeosang, asking him what he meant by that.

"I don't know," Yeosang threw his hands in the air, clearly frustrated, "She keeps smiling to herself. It's creepy."

Seohyun and San shared a look and San, despite his struggle not to, burst out laughing. Seohyun pursed her lips, trying not to smile but failed.

"See?" Yeosang pointed at her, "Has she ever smiled like this?"

Wooyoung was looking at San and Seohyun. "You both.... Is there a secret I don't know about!?"

"I don't have secrets anymore..." Seohyun lied shamelessly, shrugging. San put his hands in the air and said, "I only laughed because of what Yeosang said."

"No, you're looking at each other with the most disgusting look in your eyes," Yeosang observed, "Don't tell me you two..."

"Ah, no, that cannot have happened!" Hongjoong waved him off as Seonghwa gasped.

"How could you even suggest such a thing?" Seonghwa shook his head, clearly disappointed in Yeosang.

"No, I didn't even say anything yet..." Yeosang looked at Seohyun to apologize but she smirked at him, making his eyes go wide.

"I am RIGHT! Something happened between these two, she smirked at me!"

Seohyun immediately put her poker face and looked at Mingi and Jongho, who were right in front of her, with the most innocent look in her eyes. "Did you see me smirk?"

Mingi and Jongho shook their heads. Yeosang shot Seohyun a glare. "I know I'm right. If this turns out to be true..."

"Stop being so dramatic," San said, shushing Yeosang, and got up to drink water.

They were all in the warehouse, having just left school, and were currently relaxing and drinking juice, chatting with each other. Yeosang had noticed Seohyun smiling more than usual, which made him think something happened. It didn't help that San and Seohyun couldn't stop exchanging glances.

Seohyun had brought the drum set with Yunho before coming to the warehouse. Seohyun motioned to Mingi and they got up, leaving the rest behind.

"Have you ever played drums before? Like, actual drums?"

"Yeah," Mingi answered, "A friend of mine had them."

"Alright, you should learn how to arrange them."

So Seohyun taught Mingi all about the components of a drum set, their various uses and how to dismantle them and put them back. Mingi listened carefully, and Seohyun smiled inwardly at how happy he looked. It made her feel guilty that she delayed it so much.

When they were done, they stood back to have a look.

"A much needed upgrade," Mingi smiled, ruffling Seohyun's hair, "Thanks."

"This drum set is my baby, okay? Use it well."

"Yes ma'am," Mingi saluted and Seohyun pointed at the drums. "Have a go."

Mingi sat on the stool, testing the weight of the drum sticks in his hand. He tested the sounds then, and played a little, freestyling, laughing as he did. The others had come to watch him, cheering and hyping him up.

"Not bad," Seohyun said when he finished, "Just go with your heart. Don't think."

"Your turn," Mingi handed her the drum sticks and she almost panicked.

"I think I'm good," she hesitated but someone pushed her forward. It was Yunho.

"I didn't go through all that trouble of coming to your house and carrying the drums to not see you play," he shook his head.

"Alright. Just a second," Seohyun said, tying her hair in a ponytail. "There you go."

Everyone hooted, clearly excited. This was the first time she was going to actually play in front of them, save for the time she had played the violin for San. San smiled at her as if he was thinking the same thing. Seohyun inhaled, testing the drums, and began.

She realized she really did enjoy playing the drums; there was just something about drums where you could express freely, and loudly, as if you wanted everyone to hear it. And it made her smile like crazy, put her brain on pause for a while and play with her heart.

She played like crazy, and when she was done, everyone was in awe.

"You're actually very good!" Hongjoong said, finally clapping. Seohyun bowed her head and got up. "I didn't expect this."

"It's like she was a different person," Jongho was looking at her with wonder.

"Teacher! you're my teacher from today," Mingi declared, and Seohyun scoffed at him.

"You don't need a teacher, teach yourself. I know you can."

"Nooo~" he wailed, "I would love you as a teacher!"

Seohyun just waved him off, going to San and smiling embarrassingly at him. He pinched her cheeks and she pouted, the two of them forgetting for a moment that everyone was still watching her.

"You two... there is something different!" Jongho laughed in disbelief. San and Seohyun started laughing. Yeosang just shook hands with Jongho, thanking him for finally noticing.

"They're not even bothering to deny it, guys," Yunho grinned.

"San is mine!" Wooyoung shouted dramatically, coming to hug San, sticking his tongue out at Seohyun. Seohyun glared at him, baring her teeth at him, and snatched San from him. Wooyoung gasped, and suddenly the two of them were in a battle, both pulling at San by his arms, who was laughing painfully, shouting for help.

"He's not even choosing!" Seohyun laughed, and winked at Wooyoung as she said, "Let's ditch him."

Wooyoung pushed San away, rather forcefully, who fell in Yeosang's arms. He put his arm in Seohyun and she flipped her hair as they walked away from him.

"No one loves me," San buried his nose in Yeosang's neck, pouting. Yeosang sighed, patting his head.

"You're right," Yeosang said, "Absolutely right."

"Hey..." San moaned like a little kid.

prev - next

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420pogpills · 3 years

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I woke up and saw sapnap's alt twitch as well, but decided not to watch. and now that I hear that they just dogged on george for no reason, I'm especially glad I didn't

like making fun of him while he's there is fine since they're at least doing it to his face, but even that is getting old

sometimes when they make fun of him too hard, even if he's fine with it, it makes me so uncomfortable. I don't think I'm babying him tbh, I think it's just a natural reaction to seeing someone attacked like that

idk maybe I'm just looking into it too much, but it's a tad annoying how they think its soooo funny just to make fun of george all the time

especially like when sapnap kept playing copywrited music and wouldn't stop on george's stream and everyone was egging him on and the second george does the same to karl, karl flips tf out

i’m guessing this one is also you?: hi I'm so sorry I sent an ask and after realized you said you didn't want to talk about how they treat george so feel free to ignore it

don’t worry you don’t have to apologise at all, and i like the points you’re making! i guess i’ll talk about it a little bit, because i wanna get it off my chest but i don’t want to overanalyse haha, and i will make my opinion hidden under here so no one has to read if you don’t want to see anything regarding this :)

before i say anything i do want to kind of put a disclaimer that this is purely my own opinion, this is not me trying to speak for them, this is not me trying to speak for george, this is not me saying that this is how george or anyone else feels - this is purely just my opinion based on what i see and what i would feel if i was in that situation. so it’s all pointless rambling and is in no way to slander anyone or baby anyone! i know they love each other and i know they are best friends and i know they are grown men who can talk to each other. again this is just all my opinion that has absolutely no factual evidence behind it, just based on how my sensitive brain works.

the guys making fun of george is getting oLD. to me, it’s gotten beyond old. it’s not that it’s hurtful because you know they don’t hold any actual hostility in their words, and they make fun of each other all the time but george definitely gets it the most, and the most often too. it used to be funny, but i no longer find it to be so if i’m honest :’)

because george has a rep for being so unbothered, i think the guys kind of drive into that a bit too hard sometimes. it’s like the more unbothered he is, the more they try to get a reaction out of him.

joking about his age and his sleeping habits is fine it’s whatever, but it was really irritating to watch him trying to stream and them constantly talking over him, trying to start offline hype trains in their own streams WHEN GEORGE WAS STREAMING, and trying to play music that would get george into trouble??

sometimes i genuinely struggle to pin point if george is truly bothered by things because of how often they disregard him no matter what tone of voice he uses or what he says? to me it kind of seemed like he was actually getting upset at them playing the music, but they still kept on with it for a while. sapnap literally only stopped when karl said to stop. it’s almost like sapnap is so used to ignoring what george is asking of him that it took another person to snap him out of it??

idk it just bothers me!! it started with karl, quackity and george, they kind of formed their own trio, and then sapnap joined them, and now dream joined them, and now it feels like they’re pushing george out (which i know is not the case at all) but that’s the vibe i get when i watch these streams now :’) like why did everyone try to start offline hype trains in their own chats during george’s stream, but started hyping up the chat and got 5k subs for karl’s stream??

i know they love george, but there’s something so immature about these interactions that just makes me cringe a bit :’)

anyway yeah sorry for the negativity, i’m just such a george simp, and i always can’t help but be protective over the people i support lmaoooo

#ask #anon #negativity #negative #personal opinion #georgenotfound

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fruitless-nonsense · 3 years

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So long time no see huh?

I just wanna say that I never thought that anybody would acknowledge my input in a million years. No one in my friend group really watched either tvd or to, so this blog is the first time I’ve ever let this out, and the fact that there were people that actually liked what I said meant so much to me I can’t even describe.

Onto why I haven’t posted in a while, that’s just my slow brain. With work and family, my brain likes to fixate on something related to writing and I become obsessed for a while. What started to grind on me was the amount I was putting out versus everything else I had to do in my life, so I decided to take a little break in which time I relearned my love of drawing, but I digress.

I still wanna post on here and plan to do so (maybe some actual tvd analysis idk), but it’s not gonna be as frequently as it was last month. That being said, I still adore each and every one of y’all especially those interacting with me and would still be honored to answer any asks I get the privilege of receiving.

With that introduction out of the way, I’ve decided to talk about some characters rather than another ship (mostly because I’ve already tackled the big ones as far as to is concerned), and these characters are none other than Matt Donovan and Jackson Kenner!

Finally talking directly about the vampire diaries (yay)! Confession: I don’t like Matt. Here’s the thing, the show tries to position him as the “nice guy” of mystic falls. This worked because they place him next to the other male characters (all problematic) during season one. I mean, there’s Damon (narcissistic psychopath), Stefan (recovering addict and vampire), Tyler (abusive bully), and Jeremy (temperamental and moody addict). When we look at Matt next to these guys of course we’d be forgiven for thinking he’s a good person, but what happens when he’s placed next to humans that are considered good individuals?

First example, Caroline! Disclaimer: if you are the kind of person who thinks Caroline was a horrible character until she became a vampire and basically like to tone police her for being an alpha female with completely human flaws that made her such a relatable character (not for me specifically, but even I could notice how real she felt), you’re wrong. I’m not gonna get mad at you, I’m just asking you to take a good look at what you consider a “good female character” and ask yourself what that says about you. That being said, as much as I love Caroline’s characterization in season one, I don’t like how the writers just made her story being a victim the entire time. The most obvious case of this was with Damon, which I know might take y’all a second because Damon fans love to sweep his season one actions under the rug just like the writers. What Damon did to Caroline was disturbing and made me uncomfortable (and they say Klaus compelling Cami was the first time compulsion was broken down with how messed up it could be). The worst part is seeing other characters be aware of this and doing nothing to help her, but this isn’t about Damon. That was the first half of the season, the second half shows a potential ship of Matt and Caroline which was…yikes.

I don’t wanna assume the worst, but I do find it rather clever in a sick way how the writers placed Caroline in a physically abusive relationship with Damon only to place her into an emotionally abusive relationship, so we’re too busy comparing Matt to Damon that we miss how Matt would stand on his own (but that’s just a theory). I know this was season one, but after rewatching a fiftieth time, I can’t help but notice how much Matt belittles her (ex. calls her crazy in a diagnosis kind of way instead of joking), this doesn’t even get into the Elena situation. I do respect him flat out telling Caroline that he’s not over Elena, but there’s that and reminiscing about his relationship with her in front of Caroline and Stefan! And they show Caroline so upset by it and Matt doesn’t even care, but he can’t do anything wrong! Seriously, looking back every argument always ends with Caroline being completely in the wrong and needing to apologize while Matt doesn’t have to do anything. Matt treated her like she was second best, something we knew from the pilot was a big insecurity for her. Why is this ignored?

Second reason: he’s so controlling. Like, it’s not just the writers and the characters singing his praises, he does it to himself. He can hate vampires, but it’s the fact he goes around saying “man, it’s hard being the only nice guy in this town, I have to be the moral center while all of my friends make horrible decisions which I will repeatedly tell them because I’m so smart and know what’s best for them. Man, it’s so hard being me.” This Matt challenges Damon for most insufferable character on screen. Best example is in season three when he drugs Elena and drives her out of town because it’s what’s “best for her” (okay dude). Again, I get he hates vampires, but so does Bonnie, yet despite this she still respects her friends choices because she understands it’s their lives (also I hate that every time Bonnie does get judge mental of her friends the show treats it like she’s being unreasonable and a bad friend, but Matt’s like that the whole time and it’s waved off as “he’s just being a concerned friend”).

Lastly is something everyone already talks about, when he’s not being incredibly toxic he’s so boring. Like, I understand that’s the point in a way, he’s the human, but after seeing how well they integrated Cami into the story in the originals despite her being human that excuse lost all weight for me. He does nothing but complain! If you’re not gonna do anything interesting with him, get him off screen (the later seasons are boring enough! I mean what?)! What really concerns me about Matt as a character is if he is what the writers genuinely believed was the perfect example of a “good guy.” The worst part is it worked! Technically, Matt is the best guy in the tvd cast by default and calling him out for being a toxic human is only a recent trend. Conclusion, Matt Donovan is trash and we deserved better male characters in tvd.

Now, if you think I’m stopping there you’d be wrong. Matt really is a bad person and character, and what kills me is how the community likes to compare the tvd mains to characters in to. Ex. Hayley is Elena (kind of accurate, but at least Hayley had her own story separate from the men in her life in season one) and Bonnie is Davina (I mean, they both do get screwed over by the writers, but I’d argue Bonnie is closer to Vincent since the pain they endure throughout the seasons is much more personal and vindictive). Lastly, and most frustratingly, Cami is said to be the originals equivalent to Matt because they’re both human. At least, I think that’s the reason because I have no idea why else people would say that (is it because in their deluded minds Cami is boring despite being so much fun for reasons I’ve already explained in another post?). So you’re probably thinking who do I think resembles Matt more if anyone? Who could it be? Or maybe I already spoiled it.

So…Jackson Kenner. It’s not a perfect comparison (Jackson has an active story in the show that plays a significant part in seasons one and two). However, in terms of personality they have the most in common. If it’s not clear from what I said about Matt, I don’t like Jackson either. I find him to be an insufferable hypocrite who always talks about keeping the peace yet is quick to start beef with the vampires (who are always portrayed as being the perpetrators and werewolves the victims and showing the conflict as black and white instead of gray on both sides, but I might be the only one who has a problem with how the werewolves treat the vampires in both shows). That’s in season one! Then there’s his controlling behavior towards Hayley and trying to get her to leave the Mikaelsons just cause he can’t be big alpha male next to Klaus (disclaimer: as much as I think Hayley is wrong for trying to abandon the Mikaelsons for good, I did stand with her on getting away from and daggering Klaus for a temporary amount of time. Complex discussion for another day). Then there’s season three where he gets so angry cause Hayley chooses to help find Rebekah (y’know the woman who protected Hope for months!) that he storms off to the Bayou and ignores his wife and insists she must choose between the wolves and the Mikaelsons (keep in mind Elijah never insists she has to choose a side and always refers to both as her family). This is a grown man by the way. I mean, at least the show doesn’t make Hayley bend to his will like season two (progress I guess?). So controlling, egotistical, hypocritical, and the show treats him like he’s the messiah of men because everyone around him are the worst (except Marcel). Sounds like a Matt clone to me.

Why are these two considered the prime example of how men should be by the writers? If it isn’t clear, just because they aren’t killing people every five minutes does not make them good! That could’ve been a decent message if it was noticed by people, but instead we hear how great Matt and Jackson are when they are the most relatable (in a bad way) kind of men in the show. That’s another problem, why are all the men in this show such toxic individuals to be around. The closest exceptions are Stefan and Marcel who personality wise are good, but are killers. Matt could have been what the writers wanted, but what we got was disappointing and annoying. So the women are butchered shells and the men are toxic, so I’m not allowed to like anyone!

#anti Matt Donovan #anti Jackson Kenner #the vampire diaries #the originals #Caroline Forbes #Elena Gilbert #hayley marshall #cw has terrible rep for men

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

Text

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Prompt: You and Roman have been together for 7 years now,and on the night of your 5th year wedding anniversary,you have a new way to demonstrate your love for him

Word count: Uh girl,grab a snack ‘cuz this one is long!

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut,cursing,slight self-degradation,fluff(at the end),a lot of intimacy and Tantric Massage(yes,you’ve heard it right 😉)

A little disclaimer,before we continue: Tantra is a middle eastern (more precisely Indian) philosophy and spiritual path,the tantric massage itself is a wonderful experience that DOES NOT involves any sort of sexual interaction such as penetration or masturbation!Yes it does involve yoni/lingam massage(vagina/penis massage) but the whole goal of it it’s not orgasm/ejaculation.It can happen of course,’cuz we’re humans but if it can it has to be delayed/controlled since that’s not a goal to be reached,it’s a full body experience and a deeper self connection and healing journey.So if someday you reach out a PROFESSIONAL for this especific massage,keep all this things in mind,please.The only reason I’ve included sex on this it’s because the characters in this story are married and got carried away(also because,it’s Roman I mean,who wouldn’t?). Also they don’t live the Tantra as a philosophy or spiritual path at all! It’s just a new way of working they intimacy together as a couple.It is NOT my intention to degrade ANY form of philosophy/spiritual path from anyone’s beliefs,this is for entertainment purposes only,and also a new way for me to write about new/different themes(or personal study topics of mine) for my stories. I have a deep love for middle eastern cultures and an even deeper love for studying different types of philosophy/spiritual paths.

Tag: My soul sister @ziasaph

Notes: Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.

Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Today’s my 5th year wedding anniversary with my lovely husband,Roman.We’ve been together for 7 years now.The first time I met him,I gotta say, I hated him! There was something about him that screamed trouble.He was too good to be true,I mean,he was incredibly handsome,polite,thoughtful,kind,loving,funny,intelligent,respectful(a true gentleman really),the best kiss I’ve ever had and don’t even get me started on this man’s bedroom skills...No man ever fucked me like that,no man ever cared much more about my pleasure than with he’s own,no man could make me feel like a goddess the way he could..you see what I mean?He couldn’t be an honest good man right?!And I knew better!Oh I really did..I’ve always had a “rotten finger” when it came to my men choices.If you putted me in a room with two guys,a truly good man and a shitty asshole,I would’ve had 100% chose the latter.Maybe for the “fun” of it or even just to prove my Freudian fate,who knows?

But when I decided to finally give in to the Samoan’s charm and accepted to finally officially date him,I discovered why he smelled like trouble,because as soon as I found out I was in love with him I knew I had lost my whole heart to that man!And if you came from a emocional troubled background,like I did,you know that that’s the worst case scenario one could ever have.But funny enough,despite my deepest fears,he changed my whole world,he dragged me out of the shit pit I’ve always lived in and pushed me into the light beside him,making me forget everything bad that ever happened to me,transforming my reality into the fairytale I could never had imagined.If you told me,7 years ago,that right now I would be here telling you this same story,I would have have bitterly laughed at your face and asked you to give me a hit of whatever it is that you had.

But here I am,finishing to set up one of our guests room for the surprise I had in mind for my husband.I’m sure that this will never repay him for the way he always made me feel,but at least I hope he can have a bit of a glimpse of how much I truly love and care for him.

I was lighting up the last pair of candles when I heard the front door open,his deep sigh and the loud thump of his bags dropping on the living room floor.

“Y/N,baby girl? You home?” That voice alone could bring the biggest,truthful smile upon my lips.I put the lighter on my jacket’s pocket,carefully closing the guest room door and I ran downstairs to meet my redemption in form of a man.

“Roman!” I squealed while I preceded to jump on his arms and wrap my legs around his waist,kissing him like I would never see him again.

“Wow!” He chuckled “I see someone missed me those 3 weeks,huh?!” Still laughing,he wrapped his big arms around my waist and retributed my kiss vigorously.

“Of course I missed you baby!You’re my Samoan Prince Charming,how could I not miss that?!”I laughed.

“Prince Charming,huh?!”He chuckled “You wait ‘til you see what I wanna do to you...I’m pretty sure you’re gonna change your mind from prince charming to tramp real quick!”He smirks and I can already feel my panties getting damp with excitement.

“Oh really,big guy?! Well I’m sorry,but I’m about to piss in your yard and ruin your dreams!’Cuz I already have a surprise for you,and that took a lot of prep time too,so as much as I would love to see what you have in mind that will have to wait,at least ‘til later.”

“Piss in my yard?!Oh baby girl,always so delicate with your words!”He laughed

“What? I’m expressive,you know that!Also if anyone here is the well mannered,polite and posh one that’s you,I’m just you know,rough street trash”.I bitterly said

“Hey!Don’t say that,please.You know that I don’t like when you degradate yourself like that.You’re not trash,you’re my everything!And let’s be honest here baby, I love your rough side..”He squeezed my ass,to prove his point.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna get all worked up,and you’re going to ruin my surprise...” I whispered

“Ok,ok.I stopped!”He chuckled,then gave me a light peck on the lips before lowering me down to the ground.”So what do you have planned?”

“You know it’s called surprise for a reason right?!”I said.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Not even a little preview baby?” He gave me those beautiful puppy eyes,and the bastard knew that I would give in.

“Argh,you’re the worst!”I faked an annoyed face,but he knew I was pretending so he just smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.”Ok the only,ONLY thing I will tell you is that it involves a large amount of intimacy..I’ve never done that to anyone before..and it’s an incredible experience.That’s all I’m saying!”I proudly huffed.He stared at my face for an eternity before he slowly smirked at me saying “You do realize that you said you were going to tell me just ONE thing about it,but you ended up telling me THREE instead,right?!” He started laughing when I poked his broad chest saying “Shut up! You know,you’re lucky I love you,because otherwise I would just kick your ass right now.”I tried to hold back my laugh,but that soon was forgotten when he kissed my lips so slowly and sweet and said “I don’t have a doubt you could kiss my ass at anytime baby.” He lazily smiled at me,before his expression turned more serious. “I love you Y/N so fucking much!” He caresses my face before continuing “I’m so happy I could take a few days off to be with you,to celebrate the 7 years we’ve been together..and the many more years yet to come” He pecked my lips lightly “I could never have asked for a better woman,wife,best friend,lover,supporter..my own personal safe harbor.” He shyly smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together,and I couldn’t help the tears escaping through my eyes.

“Oh baby girl, I didn’t meant to make you cry!” He said

“Those are happy tears I promise!” I sighed “Besides,I feel bad that I can’t say such beautiful things to you,I’m sorry baby,that you got the product made with a broken mold” I sadly sighed.

“Hey,I already told you to stop saying those bad things about yourself! Also you don’t have to apologize,I know everything you went through and it’s normal for someone in your position to be a little careful when showing your fellings,and trust me babe, I don’t need your words to know that you love me,your actions already do the job!” The smile he gave me was so sincere that reached his eyes.And I really hope that my actions tonight will prove his statement to be right.

“So,when do you plan on giving me my surprise?” He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well the first thing I need to know is if you’re already fed?”

“Yep! I stopped by a cafe on my way home and ate something light,like you asked me to”. He responded

“Good!Now I’m gonna need you to take a shower so you can wash away the tiredness of your flight,towel yourself dry,but don’t put any clothes on I’m gonna need you naked for this.” He maliciously smirked at me.

“You need me naked,huh?” He licked his lips “Ok,sounds like a great surprise so far..”

“Yes it is! And if I were you, I would hurry up..”

With that he ran off to the bathroom like a little boy,and a few seconds later I could hear the water running.

As soon as I finished stripping the last piece of clothing off my body,I heard the bathroom door open and Roman call for me.

“I’m in the guest room.The one near the stairs.” A few seconds later, I see him entering the room.

“Wow,this looks beautiful!” Since we never used that room as a guest room,it didn’t had a bed(which helped a lot) I just cleaned the hardwood floor,placed a big extra thick(about 40mm) yoga exercise mat in the center of the room,a lot of candles(some were sandalwood scented,but not many,so it doesn’t get too nauseating.Just enough to give that relaxing feeling),some rose petals around the floor, a few cozy cushions around the yoga mat and a little low table with one massage candle and a large thermical water bottle(to keep the water cold and fresh).It wasn’t much but it did look cozy and spa like.

“Did you like it?”

“If I like it?Baby girl it’s perfect!”Then he looked at my naked body and added “Perfect indeed” as he slowly lowered down to catch my lips in the most romantic kiss. When I broke the kiss(‘cuz if it was for him,we would stay there for hours) I begin to explain to him what my surprise was.

“I was thinking what I could give you for our 5th year anniversary that wasn’t bought from a store,but had more of a deep sentimental value” He slowly nodded

“I was talking to Sarah and she told me that Lisa,her new girlfriend is a Tantric massage therapist and had given her a tantric massage one day,she said it was the best experience she’s ever had.So I got curious and decided to make an appointment with her and babe” I sighed “I’ve never had in my life,such an amazing experience! The feeling is...I can’t describe,you have to feel it to understand it. My point is,Lisa told me that tantric massage can be used by couples as a form of bonding,like a deeper connection. It can be used to strengthen they’re intimacy.” When I saw the confused look on his face I said

“What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much” He smiles “I love you too baby girl” I smiled back,continuing my explanation “And I know that you’re the best man I could’ve ever had asked for myself!Even too good for me,but my point is that,it makes me upset that I don’t tell you as often as I would like to how much you mean to me,so I asked Lisa for some advice on how to perform a tantric massage on you and thought that,maybe it would be a nice way to show you how I truly feel,through this” I pointed out to the set up in front of us,smiling shyly.

“I-I..baby girl, I don’t even know what to say...This is all so beautiful, I mean, you didn’t need to make all this to show me that you care or love me babe,I know that regardless” he touched my face softly and quickly added “But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about your surprise..In fact I’m quite excited to see what this is all about” He has a evil sparkle on his eyes and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok big dog,I gonna need you to lay down on your stomach for me,okay?”

He smiled and did as I asked.

I kneeled down on one of the cushions beside the yoga mat and said

“Alright baby,now,I need you to close your eyes,relax and just focus on my touch upon your skin ok?” When he nodded I grabbed the massage candle and started by dripping some of the wax into his ankles and calves,lightly spreading the melted wax up,until it reaches his back thighs.

I remembered that Lisa told me that this should not be a relaxing massage,in the sense of quizzing in the muscles to bring relief,but it was more focused on the touch it self,so I had to keep a very lightweight touch and make sure that only my finger tips(and occasionally my finger nails if I wanted to) touched his skin lightly.

When I reached his back thighs I notice Roman shifting his weight ever so slightly.

*Oh thank God,I’m doing this right!* I thought to myself relieved.

I dripped more wax,now,onto his perfect round ass and lower back.As I begin working out the wax and spreading it I heard a deep,low,almost inaudible,growl leave his lips and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.I let my finger nails just lightly roam his ass,lower back and side hips.I was so lost in the action that I was caught by surprise when a loud moan left Roman’s lips.

“Y/N..”

I grabbed the candle again and repeated the same process but now on his middle and upper back,shoulders,in the back of his arms and forearms,the palm of his hands,his fingers,neck and ears.

When I reached his head,I lightly dive my finger tips through his hair so I could reach his scalp and begin lightly massaging it,as if I was washing his hair,when I very lightly scratched his scalp I heard a very familiar sound

“Mmmmm fuck,oh shit...Mmmmm”

*Hold on..did he just? Oh I know THAT sound,I think he came!* I thought to myself

I lightly tapped his shoulder twice(a sign for him to turn onto his back) and when he did I could see that I was right,as there were evidences of his cum not only on his stomach but also on the yoga mat,and his deliciously thick erection resting on his belly.

I placed a cushion under his hips and one under the back of his head before I repeated the same previous actions.Starting from the soles of his feet,working my way up his shin,knees,thighs,lower abdomen,hips,abdomen,ribs,chest,nipples,side of the neck,face,front shoulders,biceps,forearm and the front of his hands.

Once I got up and placed myself on the mat,between his legs, I looked at him and I could swear that in 7 years,I’ve never seen that man with such a wild,primal,raw,luscious look on his face.

“Ro?”

“Hm?” I’ve never heard his voice so rough before

“We’re going to the last step now,ok?”

“Mhmm” was all he answered with his gaze glued to my face

I dripped some wax onto my hands and rub them together to spread it.

I took his length into my left hand,lightly squeezed the base of his cock and started to pull my hand up towards the head until my hand slides off,just so I could grabbed it with my right hand and repeat the same steps.

“Oh my fucking God” He rolled his eyes to the back of his head “ Sweet fucking Christ,Oohhh fuuuck” He moaned with a raspy voice.

I took the opportunity to massage the head of his cock in a orange juicer motion.

“Argh” He deeply growled,snapped his eyes open and look at me with a deadly look on his face “Fuck me Y/N! I need you to fuck me right now! Come here and ride me nice and hard baby”

“But Roman,I’m not done ye-“

“I don’t give a fuck!” He gritted “I need you,and I need you right now! Just come here,and put my cock inside that sweet tight pussy baby” He smirked in an almost demonic way and I immediately straddle his hips.

Once I lined his cock to my entrance he quickly thrusted inside of me,making me gasp.

While he gave sometime to adjust he said

“Oh it feels good to be home!” He chuckled

“Baby girl, I don’t know what you did or how,but we’re definitely gonna be doing this more often!” He smiled deviously before he holded my hips in place so he could fuck me like a maniac.

“Oh Ro,fuck”

I’ve never felt him so thick,so deep and so hard inside of me.He was fucking me at a pace so brutal that it was almost deliciously painful.

He grabbed my wrists from his chest and rapidly tugged me down so our chests were glued to each other’s,he took the opportunity to ferociously kiss my lips while he preceded to fuck me brutally.

“Ro,baby,I’m gonna-“

I couldn’t even finish my sentence,because my orgasm hit me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Oh fuck me baby! So fucking tight...so warm...” He gritted “So insanely wet”

With that I could feel his cock throbbing and the hot spurts of his cum inside of me.

When he released his last spurt,we look at each other’s eyes and shared the most passionate loving kiss.When we broke the kiss I said

“I love you Ro,so much”

“With your heart,body and soul?” He lightly smiled,remembering his own words said to me on our wedding vows.

I smiled back before answering without a doubt

“With all of my heart,my whole body and my only soul”

And it was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t have picked a better surprise for the owner and of my heart,body and soul.

#roman reigns imagine #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns #wwe imagine #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #masochist writes

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softxhariana · 3 years

Text

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖ "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do.

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.”

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you”

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world.

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username,

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!”

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x

#3435remix #35+35 #ariana #grande #butera #ag #agb #viral no1 #hiphop #rap #RnB #music #female #woman #trio #livestream #countdown #harrystyles #hs #hariana #dojacat #megan thee stallion

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plutoswrath · 3 years

Note

i’m sorry to annoy you with this again. i just look up to your kpop mixed with astrology content. but lucas’s neptune contact with his mc is going to annoy the shit out of me until this is fixed. the cloudiness that neptune brings to his public image is something that i think possibly fuels these situations further. false accusations and mixed perceptions based off of them is exactly what makes these scandals to continue on and on. and i’m sick of it. both sides ignore what the other is saying and it gets nowhere. neptune, the malefic bastard.

Hello! I saw your recent asks and I appreciate your words regarding my content, thank you so much for the kind words! <3

I will touch on astrolgy under the cut, but before this happens, I want to leave a few words. There's a reason why I didn't answer the previous questions I received (not only yours op) regarding the Lucas situation so far. For several reasons I didn't want to feed into any sort of (perceived) sensationalism in regards to the Lucas situation, even though I'd really love to look at the situation from an astrological point of view. That people are divided on this topic is to be expected, but I think the way it has been handled by majority so far is very bad. I really want to elaborate on my reasoning why we should rethink the way we talk about/represent the Lucas situation right now, but as this topic is very kpop specific everything will be under the cut.

My reasoning for avoiding any questions about it until now:

1. People already don't take the situation seriously enough: Regardless of what your standpoint is, I'd like for people to consider looking at it from a more critical point of view for a second: The allegations are not about him being exposed as ‘just a f-boy’ as some people make it out to be, they are more serious than that. Lucas allegedly manipulated and used these women for his own emotional/sexual/financial needs and ego boost. The fact that he has money and allegedly still used other people to provide financially for him just demonstrates the power play underneath it all. He abused his position of power as an idol, the power dynamics between him and fans who idolize him are plain and simple just completely off. Please think about the fact, that he allegedly decided who to date on at fansigns. This alone gives no security to any fans that want to attend fansigns in the future. TW SV: he also talked one of these women into having sex with him + doing it unprotected, which is not only emotionally/sexually manipulative/coercive and can possibly be traumatic for them but also heightens the risk for transfering STD's as END TW he was supposedly seeing people at the same time/cheating. In general, the behavior he gets accused of leaves trauma and is abuse, to be more specific abuse of power on multiple levels and his social position makes it just easier to continue abusing that power. As you've mentioned yourself op, there is a huge back and forth about the allegations, and I know people like to take situations like the one of Taeyong as an example to justify that not every public apology is real and that allegations turn out to be false years later, but I believe it's different this time and that the allegations that came forward were real. Even his cbar closed, a fanbase that works closely with Label V (!), that alone shows that there is 'at least' some truth to the story, or else his hardcore fanbase wouldn't have decided to turn their back on him in matters of just days. Also, all the 'jokes' and the portrayal of 'juicy gossip' people make about the situation just downplays and ridicules the possible traumatic experiences of the people that were hurt by his actions. If anyone decides to not believe these allegations until SM gives a more specific statement, that's fine, but please do so without making fun of the people who were victims of his behavior, as there is already little to no sympathy for them online. It makes it just way harder for any survivors in the future to speak out on their experience. People say it's 'nothing illegal, just morally wrong' but given the fact that he is also a person in power, the line between 'just' morally wrong and illegal can be very thin in some cases. And please overthink arguments such as: 'this is typical boy behavior for someone in his 20's'/ 'he's just an f-boy' or 'boys will be boys' because they are deeply misogynistic and we shouldn't normalize behavior like that, thus making the root of the problem actually way deeper than most people think.

2. WayV's future: This mainly goes for people who are fans of WayV. I know not everyone probably likes to hear this, but another thing why wild speculations, sensationalism or even possible defence about this situation should be kept on the low is WayV's career. I want to be honest here, but I'm scared for their future, their comeback for october has been cancelled for now and they are put on a hiatus for several months as far as I know. They were on a good path of gaining more and more recognition and establishing themselves even better as a c-pop group, but now Luca's reputation in China (their target audience) is as good as gone and that pulls all of WayV down to rock bottom with him. People really need to try seeing the story out of the eyes of the korean and especially chinese fans as well, their perception of the allegations (especially after the Kris Wu situation!) are way different and more serious than the ones of i-fans and i-fans have to accept that. Also, we all know how companies (especially SM) handle these type of situations: keep the people on the low till the storm has calmed down. But will the storm ever calm down for Lucas when his public image is basically destroyed, and thus WayV as well? What I want people to understand is that this whole situation affects WayV and their career directly, actually on the biggest scale possible. All the work so far is at risk to be for good and I think a lot of fans tend to forget that, things look especially critical for HenXiaoYanKun if WayV would be to continue/redebute/fall apart. It doesn't matter if Lucas talking bad about the members/the companies/shows he works with/for was real or not in the end, because unfortunately damage is already done, WayV's image (WayV= family) is already tarnished and WayV as a group will suffer from this. You summed it up with malefic Neptune the best actually: We all don't know the full confirmed truth about the situation and will most likely never know it. (small astro insight here as well, but part of Neptune is to accept fantasy for what it is: fantasy, and thus turn to cold reality when you're in too deep)

3. What O'd advice the fandom to do right now: Regardless of your opinion on the situation, what we as a fandom can do best right now is staying on the low, wait things out, and stop adding more fire to the situation with our actions and wait how the situation actually developes, since a) we can not fasten the process and b) a lot of rumors, false information and unnecessary details get exposed to mudd the waters and to discredit the statement of the victims as well. I've seen some strong reactions from both sides, but as someone who's a big fan of nct in general I really just want to say that part of the fandom throwing a fit on the internet leads basically to nothing, it actually only reflects even worse on nctzens/weshennies and thus on WayV's (and also NCT as whole) image as well. Things right now are handled internal, not extern. Whatever gets through to the public will be half of the story anyway. A lot of people seem to forget, that we talk about SM and all they care for right now is saving themselves economically (think about the domino effect this situation has on the whole group/company), so we will have to see what their final decision is going to be, if anything will happen at all. For now, be patient, wait and see. Last words: It's okay to feel hurt/confused/angry/drained. Even though most of us are aware that we dont know any celebrity's character, it's still hard to swallow and to digest because you were a fan of that artist. Let it take time and vent. Take a break from it if it gets too much! Talking about it to process your emotions better is okay and very valid, but keep in mind that you should not worsen the situation by doing so - it's already absolute chaos.

Also: This statement is by no means a direct attack to anyone or me trying to push my opinion onto you, just my two cents in how to handle the situation best right now, because our hands are basically tied. Also: agree to disagree. If you don't like that I side with the victims (unless there is an official statement that Lucas is proven not guilty, which I doubt, unfortunately) then so be it, but don't start a war in my inbox for our opinions differing.

-------

Now, to astrology:

Disclaimer: This analysis will not be very light-hearted, but remember that it's just a theory and not me trying to confirm anything!

First of all op, sorry for just answering you know, but I neded some time to think through how to adress this without adding to the fire with my astrological analysis! Boy, does the birth time fit the shoe right now. To be fair as I did my short rising sign analysis about him recently, I cancelled out every other fire rising except for Leo, because I got stuck on the ego part a bit. Anything for me made sense, as long as it highlights his ego, which by itself doesn't have to be a bad thing automatically, but there's always two sides of the coin as we all know.

I looked into the transits the past week and added a few asteroids/mathematical points as well. An anon before pointed to the full moon happening in his tenth house, conjunct his sun, etc. (I deleted the ask because I didn't know what was going on at that time and thought it was just the 'usual' rumors that once in a while get spread around, but after looking more into it I decided this was not the right time to stirr the pot in any kind of way or treat it as funny, hot gos). But yeah a full Moon in Aquarius happening in his 10th house AND on top of that Saturn in Aquarius, conjuncting that Moon and his natal Uranus in the 10th! Talk about destrcution of any stable foundation and a change in a public image! Honestly, looking at astrologically the way his public image just got radically destroyed over night, with Saturn and the Moon having been in a conjunction (in his chart it was in the 10th house) is kinda eery even. Talk about collective consciousness - not only exposing quiet literally the feelings of the collective, but also doing so in the favor of others and gaining collective emotional consciousness. Take this with a grain of salt (!), because we're still in a tense situation, but I'm tapping into the darker, unfriendlier side of astrology now. Taking his confirmed birth time, he has Nessus in Sagittarius in his 8th house and as I saw that I could feel myself shifting into the surprised pikachu face. I am not saying that this prooves the allegations whatsoever, but as you seemed to be very interested in anaylzing the case in-depth as well, the allegations fit his Nessus - jumping from partner to partner, carelessness (regarding physical intimacy as well), making people share all their ressources with him/finacial gain, and basically the whole jist of gaining control/being in a power position in intimate connections. Keep in mind that this is only one interpretation of Nessus though, Nessus can also show the complete opposite to someone 'turning to their dark side'. On top of that, his Nessus was conjunct transit Phollus the past week, so if anything, we can see that a large event triggered him to 'open his eyes' and face anything of an 'obstacle' that hinders him from seeing the 'truth' to a larger picture and his own nature/destiny. Pholus can symbolize change that will alter your perception of the responsibility you have for yourself and others.

But my latest new interest with these two asteroids aside (asteroids just add a little more nuance to a situation after all), I want to touch on Lilith too, since you (op) have mentioned Lilith before in one of your asks!

He has his Lilith exactly conjunct his Descendant when we consider his confirmed birth time. What happened just now can be seen as 'backfiring' of his actions, either Lilith embodying the women who expose him now for his 'inappropriate' behavior, but also simply fans shaming him now for his alleged manipulative/imoral behavior, especially shaming him about who he chose to date and how. Next to that, you've mentioned Lilith opposite Moon and it just makes me think about him possibly feeling very indecisive and potentially in denial about what he actually needs to be fulfilled in order to be emotionally happy and thus leading to him appearing to have this 'second, dark side' to him now. BML is not necessarily opposite the Moon in my opinion, it's just the side of the subconscious we don't really like to deal with and all we're told not to express and desire because it can be conflicting in the eyes of others (thus BML also leading to a lot of recklessness on the negative side). I think if we take the allegations into consideration, regardless of how much of it is true of it, it can be a good example what happens, when an opposition gets out of balance, as it also manifests outwardly a lot! Lilith shows in his 'double life' aka what he allegedly did with fans. Lilith wanted an outlet and found one by working behind the scenes. If we take in his supposed Taurus rising, which his Lilith is in an exact opposition with, it's a good example of what can lurk underneath the surface.

And of course, last but not least, Neptune and Sun conjunct his MC. People are quiet literally blinded by him more than they would like to think. Also: Lucas was always known for his 'flirty & charismatic' nature, this is another reason why people think we shouldn't be surprised he 'turns out to be like that in real life'. I'm not analyzing this argument right now, but what I think is very interesting is how Sun conjunct MC literally ties a good amount of their personality to their career - they want to be accepted and shine for their personality/big part of their individuality. Idols play a role, no matter how transparent they appear to us, but it's really funny how this 'image' of him melts almost seemingly with parts of his personality (almost af if you were to quiet literally sell your self) and as you've mentioned: Neptune only adds to that, unfortunately.

#replies #anonymous #might delete later??#idk depends if the situations gets even worse

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fydream · 4 years

Text

even if it is, just for tonight | p. js

☌ genre: jisung x reader, slice of life(ish), fluff, angst?, high school!au? kinda.. i wouldn't say it's a college!au but it's the summer before you move to college, the mood is a teenage coming of age movie where the main characters sneak out and do things but like not illegal things yk, best friends to lovers because i'm a sucker for that!!, inspired by life is strange episode 3 + we go up era/the we go up mv teaser + the perks of being a wallflower, mentions of ex-boyfriend!jaemin, say hi to skater boy!renjun!!! also say hi to college boy!johnny!! they're more of a touch and go but they'd appreciate a hello :-)

☌ songs/playlist: 🎵(yes these go in order of the story,,, the most important songs though are "aint it fun by" paramore and "fallingforyou" by the 1975 and maybe "is there somebody who can watch you" also by the 1975)

☌ word count: 7.3k!!

☌ warnings: food mention, cursing, uhh breaking and entering? i wouldnt really say that but it's more off you jumping a fence and trespassing lol, also this is semi proof read lmao sorry

☌ author note: this is dedicated to my dear friend cam!! (@huangsilks) happy birthday i love you <333 here's a lil fic bc ur senior year got cut short and as much as i wish i could give it to you, i cant, and im so sorry about that. so take this fic in return <33 mwah // all i want to do is live in a teen coming of age movie is that too much to ask for? and that's on the media romanticizing your teenage years!

☌ disclaimer: this has no relation to htbah!jisung at all. this is a completely different universe. thank you.

─ 10:45pm;

The last day of summer vacation is always fun until you realize that the sun has started to set and the inevitability of tomorrow starts creeping into your thoughts.

So what were you doing on your last day (or night in this case) of summer? You weren't doing anything special, just looking through your room and going through the various photos you had put up on your walls, recalling past memories from your previous years in high school.

Tomorrow night you were leaving your small town and moving across the country to attend college. Needless to say you were excited to move away and get a fresh start but the one thing you weren't ready for was to say goodbye to everyone.

You didn't have a going away party like everyone else, you decided not to because that meant you were actually leaving. Though your bags were packed and your room was put together, it didn't feel like you were going to college. The realization hasn't hit yet, it just felt like another normal night. You were busy looking through one of the memory boxes you had in your room when you felt your phone buzz, indicating you've gotten a text.

[sungie: hey]

[sungie: wanna go on an adventure?]

[you: wtf? the sun set already, if i get caught i'm done for!]

[sungie: c'mon.. live a little]

[sungie: im picking you up in five, get ready :)]

Park Jisung. Your best friend since, well, since elementary. He's the boy who you grew up with, the boy who you happened to survive all of high school and middle school with, he's also the boy who happened to capture your heart doing the simplest things you could imagine.

He was your first crush, but not your first boyfriend.

He also happened to be the boy who was always there for you, no matter what. So if you were going to spend your last night in the town you grew up in, why not spend it with your best friend, Park Jisung himself?

Seeing as that he was already on his way, it left you with no choice. Grabbing the closest hoodie near you, you silently made your way to your front door where you slipped on your shoes before heading outside as quietly as you could.

It takes a few minutes before you see a familiar car pull up on your childhood street. Approaching the vehicle, you hear music playing that's only being muffled due to the windows that are rolled up and the doors being shut closed.

"Hey." He says lowering the volume as you open the door to his passenger seat. "Are you ready?"

"You're fucking insane." You snort as you buckle your seatbelt. "Wake up my whole neighborhood why don't you?"

"I mean.. Only if you want me too.." He teases, placing his hand on his car horn.

"Don't you dare!" You squeal, trying to grab his wrist before he could attempt to wake up your whole neighborhood. To no avail, you failed which resulted in a fit of laughter from him.

"C'mon. Live a little." He says once more before driving away from your. house, turning out of your neighborhood and onto the empty streets.

"Where are we going?" You ask, watching the streetlights pass by.

"It's a surprise."

"That's so ominous."

"I know."

"Could you at least give me a hint?" You whine.

"I'll give you one word."

"I'll take whatever I can get."

"Okay, the word is playground."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You ask, shooting him a glare.

"Hey! you said you'll take what you can get, and I'm giving you one word." He defends.

"You're annoying." You mumble, turning away from him to look back out the window.

"So I've been told." He snorts, focusing his attention back on the road.

Your first stop of the night is the playground of your elementary school.

It was kind of unexpected because the last time you were here was probably when you attended school here, years ago. To be honest, you were expecting to be taken to the park near your house. The playground there was mostly abandoned due to all the kids on your street growing up, you would still see other children playing on the swings or sliding down one of the tube slides but those were on good days. Most of the time it was just empty.

"School?" You ask confused, watching as Jisung unbuckles his seatbelt and opens his door to step outside, you doing the same. "Jisung, we're way to big for this playground, you know that. Why are we even here?"

"You'll see." He says, grabbing your hand to drag you over towards the gate that they used to fence off the playground. ”Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" You ask, earning a wink in response. "Oh my god.. Jisung no!"

Before you could realize what was about to happen, the hand that Jisung was using to hold yours was now being used to help pull himself over the chain linked fence that lead to your school's playground. After successfully throwing himself over the top of the fence and landing on the other side with a light thud, he smiles at you. "Your turn."

"What the hell?! No way!" You protest. "I can't even climb a fence! You know this!"

"Actually. That's false." He confidently states, knowing he’ll win this argument. "You climbed a fence Junior year when you were hanging out with Johnny Suh and his friends."

"What? Who told you that?!" You exclaim.

"Just a little someone who's name begins with a little 'Ren' and ends with 'Jun.'" He says playfully, sending you a little wink.

"That brat!" You whisper yell. "That’s the last time I tell Renjun something.." You add, mumbling.

"So, your turn." He repeats, gesturing towards the gate in front of you.

"I can't believe I'm fucking doing this." You mumble before continuing to hoist yourself over the metal fence. Your landing wasn’t as smooth as Jisung’s, seeing as you almost lost balance trying to get down from the top resulting in Jisung having to catch you so you didn’t break an ankle or something.

"See? That wasn't so bad." He snorts, letting you go.

"I hate you." You scoff. "Why are we even here again?"

"I'm glad you asked." He says smiling, grabbing your hand once more. This time, instead of leading you to a fence you had to jump be brings you to a small play structure. It takes you approximately a minute for you to realize where you were and where he was taking you.

"Right here." He says pointing to a red tube slide. "Our first stop of the night. This is where we first met, remember? You practically shoved me down this slide because you wanted to go down it and I was in your way."

You chuckle as the first memory of you and your best friend plays. "Of course? How could I not remember? I got called into the office afterwards because some kid told one of the teachers that I was bullying you. To this day, I still don't know who told on me."

“It was Wendy, if you wanted to know.” He adds. “She told me after she told on you.” He shrugs.

“Of course it was..” You mumble, hopping up to sit against one of the bottom steps that led up to the slide.

"Is this what we came here for?" You ask, looking up at the boy who was currently climbing up the side of the playground structure.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" He yells loud enough for anyone in a five mile radius hear. Maybe it’s because of how quiet it is at this time of night, or maybe it’s because he just got louder whenever he was with you. But those were besides the point, if there were any cops around right now you two would definitely have gotten caught thanks to Jisung.

He makes his way to a safer spot, where he can jump down from the top of the playground. Despite the fact he moved you still scold him for his reckless actions. "Don't do that!! You’re going to get hurt! What happens when you jump off of something and finally break your ankle, hm?"

Jisung shrugs in response. "Well you see, it hasn’t happened yet. You can even check, I’m fine. It’s okay."

"You stress me out, you know." You scoff, turning away from him to walk towards the monkey bars that were once too tall for you, but now are nothing compared to your height.

"I know." He shouts from across the playground. Because of how quiet it was with just you two being there in the dead of night you could hear his footsteps along the playground structure. You could hear it creak every now and then, making you wonder if it was Jisung causing then noises of if it was just because of how old the structure is. You think about how long it's been here, how many children have played in the exact spots you were standing in and how many more will until they decide to finally remodel or get rid of it.

"It's been ages since I've been here." You whisper, running your hand along the cool, metal railing as you climb the short steps that lead up to the top, where Jisung was waiting for you.

"I know right? Do you remember this spot?" He asks, taking a seat on the platform, which barely has enough room for both of you. "We used to sit here and gossip about who we thought were cute in the fifth grade." He snorts.

"Yeah.. And when people tried to come up here you'd yell at them for the password." You laugh. "That was really fun. A simpler time." You add, going back replaying through some of your memories which were long forgotten.

For the next couple minutes you and Jisung just sit there, reminiscing to when you were both small children, where your only worry was your guy's spot on the playground being stolen.

“This is nice..” You think to yourself. “It feels the same, just like the good old days.”

"Uhm." Jisung coughs, getting your attention. "We better get going. There are more stops to go and well, we don't have all night do we?"

"Oh. Yeah." You sigh, not wanting to get up from your spot. "Where are we going now?" You ask.

"You'll see." He says, flashing you a grin.

You smile, rolling your eyes at the boy in front of you, who was now attempting (and failing) to slide down the slide in front of you.

"It’s not slippery anymore." He frowns.

"Well, yeah." You giggle, making your way down the same way you came up. "It's been years Sungie. What'd you expect?"

"I dunno. The same amount of slipperiness?"

"You're silly." You tease, lightly pinching his cheek. "Let's go." You’re about to walk away when Jisung grabs your wrist, stopping you from waltzing away to his car.

"Are you sure?" He asks. "You were kinda hesitant to jump a fence you’ll sure you'll be ready to do whatever else I have planned for tonight?" He teases.

"Depends." You hum. "Are we going to get into any kind of trouble?"

"That's up to us."

"Then of course I'm down." You say, dragging him back the way you entered.

─ 12:23am;

The next stop is in the city near your small town. To be more specific it's the rooftop of one of the many parking garages your city has. Jisung's car is the only car parked right now due to the time being nearly twelve thirty in the morning, and you just can't help but wonder why you spent the last half an hour driving to an empty parking garage.

"Okay Park Jisung, why are we here?" You ask, leaning against the railing to look outwards for any sign of reason.

"Well first of all, if you're looking for the reason why you're on the wrong side." He chuckles, leading you towards the opposite side of the rooftop. "And if you look to your left you'll see a small venue." He says in one of those touristy guide voices, earning a giggle from you.

"Hey! Isn't that where we-"

"Saw our first concert?" He cuts you off, finishing your sentence.

"Yeah.. I remember that night. We skipped school that day to make sure we made barricade." You snort.

"It was definitely worth missing a pop quiz and two weeks of being grounded." Jisung comments.

"You act like you didn't sneak out every night during those two weeks." You joke, lightly punching his arm.

He gives you a small pout and a fake "ow." in response. "Well, yeah?" He replies. "How else was I going to see my best friend?"

"Anyone ever told you you're annoying?" You ask rolling your eyes, leaving the edge of the rooftop to walk towards the center.

"Mmm." He hums, looking up to indicate that he was thinking. "I don't think so."

"Well, you are." You say before asking "So why the rooftop?"

"I'm glad you asked." He starts, pulling out a tiny speaker from his jacket pocket. "Remember how you said you were kinda sad that we haven't gone to a concert in a while?"

"Mhm."

"Well congratulations y/n l/n because here I have a tiny speaker that'll make it feel like we're having our own mini concert on the top of this garage building tonight!" He exclaims in a fake announcer voice.

Giggling, you smile at him before going along with the joke. "Oh wow? My own private concert? Right here? Right now? With the only relevant person in my life? How could I even think about passing that up!?"

Jisung snorts before handing you the wireless speaker, allowing you to connect your phone to it. The first song you play is "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore for the sole being of it being that song.

"Paramore?" Jisung asks, a bit confused on why you chose this song out of all things to play.

You smile at him before placing the speaker on the ground. Taking both his hands you say, "Jisung. It's fucking Paramore! Do you not remember this song? This is the one we used to blast on my speakers in my bedroom whenever we had a good day. I miss that. Now c'mon! Dance with me!" You giggle, dragging him away from the speaker and to an emptier spot in the parking lot. And so he does. It's not any choreography or anything, it's just you two jumping around on a rooftop to one of your feel good songs. A carefree moment to be exact, where it feels like nothing really matters anymore.

Jisung smiles, backing away from you to watch as you jammed your heart out. If anything, he would give everything just for you to have this moment forever. He knows how stressful life can be, not to mention how hard you worked just to barely make it into your dream school. He also knows how hard it is to feel alone, so he really isn't surprised that your chose thing song because it was your song. Jisung knows a lot more than you could ever know, so if it means he only has one night left to give you everything, then so be it.

Before you know it you watch as he runs towards you, engulfing you in a hug. Shocked, you try your best to look up towards the boy who had you in his arms. If you weren't this close to him you probably wouldn't have noticed the slight glossy look over his eyes, deciding not to touch on it for now and just accept the hug as the song fades into background noise.

"You're leaving tomorrow." Jisung whispers, before pulling apart from the hug, placing his hands on your shoulders. "You're leaving, tomorrow." He states once more this time, more softly while looking at you in the eyes. "You're gonna go off to some college and find a new, maybe get a new boyfriend, and even get a life of your own."

"You know I'll never replace you." You respond back, voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at the cement on the ground or the buildings that were only light being lit up by the various lights around or the night sky, which you definitely haven't seen in a while. You were looking anywhere, everywhere that wasn't your best friend, because you knew for a fact if you looked at him in this moment you would cry.

"But hey," You say speaking up, finally getting the courage to look him in the eye. "That all starts tomorrow. I'm still here right? We still have what? Like twelve hours? So let's make the most of it while we still can, okay?"

Jisung looks down at you before giving you a sad smile. "Actually it's seventeen hours." He sniffs, letting out a light laugh.

"Okay? So? I've got seventeen hours to spare, do you have seventeen hours to spare?" You ask, teasingly.

"You can have all my time in the world, y/n." Jisung replies, pulling you back into the hug.

"Glad to know." You giggle. "Because I'm willing to give you all of mine."

Soon enough the song ends and you hear the beginning of Fallingforyou by The 1975 start to play.

"Hey," Jisung whispers. "I- Uhm. You know this song reminds me of you?" He says.

"It's does?" You ask, voice muffled due to the fact you were speaking into his chest. "Why?"

"Oh god." He starts. "You can't make fun of me for this though." He says pulling away from the hug.

"I won't. I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"Okay well.." He starts, walking away from you. "Here goes nothing.." There's hesitation in his voice and you can't tell if it's because what he was going to say would hurt you or if he just never planned on telling you. It's silent for a few seconds before he breathes in and let's out a sigh.

"I used to like you, y'know."

Though this is just the start of his sentence you wonder why it already began to hurt. Perhaps it could be because he started his thought off with 'I used to like you.' Used to, meaning not anymore.

"Back in the beginning of Sophomore year, when I saw that you started dating Na Jaemin I realized how much I liked you. And when I saw how much you were with him and how much fun you were having with him I couldn't help but wish that were me.. I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if I figured out my feelings before you got with him. And even after you two broke up, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I just confessed to you, out of the blue."

"Is that so?" You ask, walking towards the boy who was now seated on the hood of his car.

"Yeah." He whispers, looking down so he didn't have to face you.

"Well, then I have a confession to make." You state, hoping onto the empty space next to him to take a seat. "I used to like you to."

"You did?"

"I did." You hesitantly state.

"Oh.." He whispers. "How long ago?"

"A while ago." You say softly. "I never wanted to risk anything because I didn't want it to affect our friendship. I didn't want to imagine what would happen if we ended up breaking up on a bad note. I didn't want to risk losing my best friend."

"Oh." He sighs.

"What do you think would've happened if we dated?" You ask.

"I dunno actually. I mean, I don't think much would really change.. We're already pretty close, and we basically act like a couple anyways. Just look at us right now." Jisung responds.

You didn't realize it but currently you were snuggled up against his side, with his arm wrapped around you. If Jisung didn't point it you probably wouldn't have noticed. "We do everything together, and we always bring each other gifts. We even went to prom together, remember?"

"Well yeah.. as friends."

"That's besides the point. I'm talking about how people see us y/n. Go ask anyone, Donghyuck thought we were dating."

"He doesn't count. Donghyuck thinks everyone is dating." You snort.

"Okay, then ask Renjun. The reason why he told me you jumped that fence was because he thought that Johnny was gonna steal you from me."

"He did?"

"Yeah. His exact words were 'You're girlfriend just jumped a fence to hang out with J. Suh and them. I'd be careful if I were you, Johnny's known to steal each other's girls.' You should've seen how confused I was and how awkward it was to explain to him that we weren't a couple." Jisung laughs. "He was so confused."

"He thought we were dating?"

"Yeah."

"Jisung." You state, looking up at him. "This is my last night here. And before you tell me to shut up and enjoy the moment I want to tell you one thing, okay? It's really really important to me and I feel like if I don't tell you this right now, I may never will."

"Geez, you're dramatic." He jokes. "What's so important anyways?"

"I still like you."

"Oh.." He whispers. "Oh? Wai-Wait. You still like me?"

You nod.

"Like.. like-like?"

"Yes, like like-like." You chuckle.

"O-Oh.."

There's a moment of silence before anyone says anything else. The only things making noise are the sound of distant cars that you hear drive by, along with the wind as it decides to pick up a slight breeze. Your phone is still playing music but you can barely hear it over your light breathing, which to you, sounds like the loudest thing on world. Your head is occupied with thoughts on why you decided to confess right now and Jisung is left trying to process what you just told him. It only lasts for a few seconds, a minute at most, but it feels like an eternity.

"Hey y/n?" He says softly. You snap your head up, looking towards him. Half of you is ready to hear whatever he has to say while the other half of you is worried that you just ruined everything with four little words. "Yeah?" You ask as your voice cracks a little.

"I still like you too."

"You do?"

"I do."

"So the question becomes, what are we?" You whisper, looking back down at the ground. "I leave tomorrow."

"That doesn't mean anything.." Jisung mumbles.

"What are you talking about? Yes it does. It means everything."

"No, it doesn't." He states, jumping off of his car hood to stand in front of you. "Think about it, you leave tomorrow right?"

"Yeah.."

"Well, like you said. You're still with me right now and we've still got-" He stops, taking a second to glance at his phone to check the time. "About sixteen and a half hours to spare.. So, why not make the most of it?"

"What are you implying?"

He sighs, taking a step closer to you to grab both your hands and pull you off his car hood himself. "Will you, y/n l/n, be my girlfriend? Even if it is, just for tonight?"

You squeeze his hands, unsure of what to say. Of course you want to say yes, this is one of the moments you've been waiting for! Something you never expected to happen! So why were you feeling so unsure?

Maybe it's because you knew this wouldn't last forever, or maybe it's because it was your best friend. Either way, each option had it's pros and cons. You just couldn't figure out which ones outweighed the other.

If you say yes, then you would've got to experience your long term crush being your boyfriend. But it also meant it would end in less than 24 hours, and what if you didn't want that? Sure long distance is an option, but would you be able to do it?

If you say no.. Then what would happen? Would tonight just end up awkward? You didn't want to pine after some boy for so long, and you sure didn't want Jisung to feel embarrassed, especially since both of you just confessed to each other.

So what do you say? You don't have all the time in the world to pick an answer.

"If I were to say yes.." You say, speaking up. "Do you promise nothing will change between us afterwards? Will we still be friends after that?"

"We can be friends." He says. "Or we can be more than friends. We can be whatever you want. I just want you to be happy."

You sigh, letting go of his hands, only taking a second to look at him.

"What?" He asks, moving to get closer to you.

"Nothing." You sigh. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"About.. us.. You know.. What are we going to do once the sun comes up?"

"Cry and then kiss some more?" He jokes, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

"Sungie.. I'm being serious. What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, y/n. If I'm going to be honest I don't want to think about it either.. I didn't think that far ahead!"

"I know you didn't but we have to talk about it. It's bound to happen."

"What is?"

"Us.. breaking up.."

"You didn't even accept my offer and you're already thinking about us breaking up?" He asks. In his head it sounded okay, but by the look on your face he can tell it came off differently.

"What?" You ask.

"We could always do long distance y'know.."

"Sungie. Look at me." You sigh, looking at him in the eyes. "I'm moving across country and you're staying here, without me. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I didn't think anything was going to happen! I just wanted to spend one night with you as my girlfriend!" He yells, and you take a step back at the sudden volume change.

"You expected me to say yes?"

"No! Of course not! I didn't even plan any of this! I prepared for the worst, but then you brought up the whole liking thing and it just.. I don't know?! Gave me hope?"

"I don't know.. what'll happen when the sun comes up, y/n. I don't know what'll happen at all. I just want you to be happy.. and if that means we have to finish this night as just friends, then I'll be okay with that. We can pretend like nothing happened and we can just go on-"

"What if I don't wanna pretend like nothing happened?" You ask, cutting him off.

"What if.. I wanna say yes, but I'm just too scared to?"

"Why would you be scared?" He asks.

"Because.. if I do.. and this happens to be the best night of my life.. I don't want it to end."

"The answer I want to give you is, 'it doesn't have to end.' but that would just be a broken promise on my part." He sighs, giving you a sad smile. "But the answer I will give you is, we can make the most of it, but that's only up to you. So I'm asking you again, y/n l/n. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes." You sigh, nodding your head reluctantly.

He pulls you into a hug and even though it's just a hug, it's one of the best hugs you've ever experienced. It's more on the comforting side, which would explain why you felt warm and at home. But it different from the hugs you've shared before.

"So where are we off to now?" You ask, ready to officially start tonights adventure. It comes out more muffled due to the fact that you're still holding each other.

"You're so eager." Jisung pouts. "Can't we just stay like this for a while?"

"I suppose so.. It's nice."

─ 3:06am;

The third stop of the night is diner just a couple minutes away from your high school. It's open 24hours meaning you'd see students come here after dances and school events, two of them being you two. One of the convenient things about this place was that it also had a small arcade connected to it. Maybe it was just a marketing strategy, but it worked so this is where you spent the majority of your free time.

"Hungry?" He asks, pulling up in the parking spot in front of the entrance door.

"Why are we here?" You ask, glancing over at the radio to check the time. "It's three am.."

"So?" He asks. "Let me take you on a date. We can even share a milkshake if you'd like." He teases.

"How romantic." You snort.

"Y/n!! I'm being serious!" He whines. "Do you know how badly I've wanted to take you on a date here?"

"Well.. Technically we have gone on one, multiple to be exact." You claim.

"Oh yeah? Name them."

"Our study sessions for SAT's?"

"I meant a proper date! You call suffering together while we complain about the future a proper date?!" He exclaims.

"Okay then how about all the times we came here after a dance or sport event hmm?" You ask.

"Those don't count! We went as friends!"

"I like to count them as dates.." You admit. "After all, they're the best ones I've been on."

"Oh really?" He asks. "Better than the ones that Na Jaemin has taken you on?"

"Uh, yeah? Of course?"

"Take that Jaemin!" He exclaims, causing you to giggle.

"What's your deal with him anyways?" You ask, curious on what he has to say.

"Well.. he's the person I'm competing with, right? For best boyfriend?"

You roll your eyes. "It's not a competition. Besides, if it was, then you'd automatically win." You tease. "So are we going on a date or what?"

Jisung giggles. "Yeah. Let's go."

The diner is empty. There isn't anyone but a lone police officer, drinking a cup of what you assumed to be coffee; two girls who happen to look like they're on a date, and another boy, who seemed to be around you and Jisung's age, working on paper of some sort.

Taking your seat in a familiar spot you look past Jisung (who was seated in front of you) and out the window behind him. You still have a few more hours until the sun comes up, but seeing the moon slowly make it's way down hurts just a bit.

"Hey." Jisung says, drawing your attention back at him. "You zoned out a bit there, you're not falling asleep on me are you?" He teases.

"Pffft! You wish!" You say a little bit too loudly, earning a glare from the cop seated a few booths away from you.

"So about that milkshake.." You trail off. "What flavor did you get?"

"Strawberry."

You scrunch your nose at his answer. "Why?"

"I dunno." He shrugs. "It's pink, I thought it'd be romantic."

"You're cute."

"I know."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I'll take it as one."

"I- Nevermind."

"Whaaat?"

"You're lucky you're cute."

"You think I'm cute?"

You scoff at him. "Of course I do."

"Ah, okay. Cause I think I'm cute too." He snickers.

"Hey!" You gasp, earning a light laugh from him.

"It's okay I think you're cute too." He says scrunching his nose.

You stick your tongue out at him, looking away to fake being upset.

"Ah boo hoo. Don't be like that."

You're just about to argue back when the waitress who took your order earlier places down the milkshake that Jisung ordered in the middle of you two. She also drops two straws on the table along with it. Both of you thank her and after she leaves you decide to ask Jisung a question.

"Hey Sungie?" You ask, ripping off the paper wrapping to your straw. "Why this place?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

With a smile, you shake your head no at his response and he lets out a sigh.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah!" You nod. "Why?:

"This is where I realized that I was in love with you."

It takes a second for you to process what he had just said. It doesn't hit you right away but the more that you think about it, the more you realize what he meant.

"O-Oh.. Here?" You ask, as if you were unsure of where you were.

He nods in response and watches as you try to put together the pieces of how he figured out he loved you.

"Why?" You ask. "It's not like we've done anything special here. The most we've done is come here after prom.. and the rest of the dances I guess, but prom is the only one that I can really think about."

He giggles. "It doesn't have to be a big event for it to mean something y'know. I realized I was in love with you the summer going into sophomore year. You remember how we came here that night? After I so happened to convince you to sneak out and come to the movies with me?"

"Duh!" You exclaim. "How can I ever forget that?! I had to climb out my fucking window for you, do you know how scary that was? And we had to walk all the way there because neither of us could drive yet!"

"Hey in my defense I said that Johnny could've driven us. You just didn't wanna get caught!"

You roll your eyes at him. "No. That is not why, and hey! Don't try to make this conversation about me! You're the one who's supposed to be explaining stuff right now!"

"Damn." He scoffs. "Ya caught me. Well, anyways, before I was rudely interrupted-"

"You're the one who asked me a question!" You defend.

Ignoring you, he continues. "You remember how we were sitting in this spot, complaining about sophomore year before it even started?"

You nod.

"Well you were going off on some kind of rant- I don't even remember what it was about- but you just kept talking and you didn't seem to notice that I wasn't listening because I was too busy admiring how you looked. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night, and both of us were very much sleep deprived but for some reason, it just hit me. I don't remember what it was about you, but it was that moment when I realized 'oh my god. this is what it's like to be in love.' y'know? Like you're finally realizing what it's like to be in love with someone, rather than just loving someone. Do you get what I mean?"

You shake your head no.

"Oh c'mon!" He whines. "I can't be the only one who knows what I'm talking about! It's like finally realizing what all the love songs are about, it's just like.. some kind of feeling! And it was just different how I felt from you, being my best friend, and you, being the person I had a crush on. I don't know how to explain it.. but it was just.. amazing."

"Yeah?" You ask.

"Yeah." He nods.

"Is that so? Well.. then maybe I do know what you're talking about."

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"You just did it."

"Wha- huh?! What did I do?"

"You're cute." You giggle.

"You weren't listening, huh?" He says, smiling.

"Nope! Not at all."

"So you do know what I'm talking about then?"

"Of course I do."

"You're so cute." He giggles.

"I know." You respond.

"I'm glad we agree."

─ 5:22am;

The last stop of the night is some place familiar. You didn't expect this location as much as you did others, so when Jisung decided to park here you didn't know what else to say.

"We're at.. your place?"

"Yeah." He nods, walking towards the gate that lead to his backyard.

"We're not going inside?" You ask, confused on where you were going.

"Pffft. Inside? Why would we go in there? Now c'mon, let's go."

Following Jisung into his backyard is nice. You see a lot of roses and plants that hug the side of his house. As you continue to walk you get various memories from when you two would hang out back here, before you got bored and decided that there was more to the world than Jisung's backyard.

"Okay. Do you want to go first? Or do you want me to?" He asks once you reach a ladder that lead to the roof of his house.

"You chose a ladder?" You whine. "Why didn't we just climb out one of your windows or something?"

"Because y/n!" He teases. "Where's the fun in that? Besides we've already done that before, why not do something different tonight?"

"You mean climb a ladder to sit on your roof instead of climbing out your bedroom window like we normally do?"

"See you do get me! That's exactly what I'm saying." He exclaims. "Now c'mon, up we go!" He smiles.

It's nicer than you expected. You don't know how or when he did it but he already had not one, but two blankets prepared. You assumed he put it here before he left to pick you up or he just asked one of your friends to leave them here. Judging by the fact that they didn't feel freezing cold, and that the ladder was already propped up to the side of his house when you got here, you assumed he asked Renjun or Jeno to leave them here.

"So.." You start.

"Please don't ask why I chose my own house." He jokes.

"Okay well first of all, I wasn't." You defend. "I was gonna ask what are we doing on your roof at five in the morning, but now that you mention it.. Why did you choose your house? We could've gone to so many other places."

He gives you a confused look, allowing you to ask, "What?"

"Please tell me the second question was a joke." He sighs.

You give him a smile and he pats the empty spot next to him, signaling for you to take a seat.

"Okay y/n, since you wanna know so badly, I'll tell you, yeah?" He asks, clearly annoyed at the fact that he chose his own house for gods sake.

You giggle. "You don't have to answer it you know. I know why."

"Okay, then I'll ask you. Why?"

"Because," You tease in a sing-songy voice. "Where else would we have gone? Technically, we started tonight at my place so why not end it with yours? We've spent a significant amount of time together, right?" You ask and he gives you a nod in return.

"Exactly. So it would just make sense that we have two halves of one whole, right? You pick out the places, and I bring back the memories. Right?" You explain.

"Congratulations. You've figured it out."

"Of course?" You giggle.

"Do you wanna know why we're up here though?" He asks.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"It's because we can see the sunrise better from here. Yeah we used to just sit on the roof and talk in the middle of the day, or we'd watch the sun set, but we've never really watched it rise together before, y'know?"

"Really?" You ask. "Are you sure about that? We've pulled all nighters together before!"

"Yeah but one of us is either half asleep or just not paying attention."

"Hmm. I guess you're right about that." You hum.

"Do you promise we'll get a pretty sunrise?" You ask.

"Christ y/n. I don't control the weather! Who do I look like, mother nature?"

"Hey, mother nature is badass!" You scold. "She could literally end everything right here, right now."

"I suppose so." He hums, wrapping an arm around you to pull you closer to him. You rest your head against him and for a while you two just sit there in silence, no words just being said. Just the sounds of your breathing plus some birds chirping due to the current time. It's nice and comfortable. It feels like home.

You feel yourself about to start falling asleep when Jisung starts talking.

"I'm really gonna miss you.. y'know." He sighs, turning his head to look at you. If he didn't know you any better he'd think you actually fell asleep, it's only the sound of you humming the word "yeah?" that informs him you're still awake.

"What's the thing you're gonna miss most about me?" You ask.

"You expect me to chose one?" He asks, only earning another hum in response.

"Okay.. Well.. For starters, I'm going to miss seeing you everyday. I'm gonna miss not being able to text my best friend 'hey let's hangout today' and then just sitting in my room playing Mario Kart with you for the next three hours. I'm gonna miss your little roasts that you'd pull on me whenever I do anything stupid. I'm gonna miss our boba runs we used to have each week. I'm gonna miss causing chaos on the rest of our friends because how else are they going to prepare for trouble if there isn't two of us? There's so many things that I'm gonna miss about you that I could just go on and on about but we don't have enough time for that." He sighs.

"Really.. I'm just gonna miss you."

A second passes before Jisung decides to speak up again. "Are you gonna miss me too?"

"That's a silly question." You sigh. "Of course I am dummy. You expect me to not miss you? What am I gonna do without my partner in crime? My best friend and technically my boyfriend? You expect me to move across country and not miss you at all? Are you insane?!"

"Only a little." He jokes, earning a light punch from you.

"If I could take you with me I would."

"So why don't you?"

"Where are you gonna live? My fucking closet? I can't let you do that, you'll get too cramped in there." You joke.

"I guess.." He pouts.

"So.. What's gonna happen.. between us?" He asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we're watching the sun rise, aren't we?"

"I guess.. I just didn't expect it to fly by that fast.." You mumble.

Another moment of comfortable silence passes before either of you say anything. This one lasts for about ten minutes, fifteen at most, with the only sounds being your shallow breathing catching your attention. It's comforting, just being like this. Laying on Jisung's side while having his arm wrapped around you and a blanket hugging you both. The wind picks up a breeze every now and then making you shiver a bit due to the lack of warmth but that only makes you snuggle closer to Jisung in hopes of stealing his body heat.

"Thank you.. for tonight." You whisper. "It's all I could've asked for."

"I'm really glad you liked it. I'm just happy I got to spent time with you before you left." He chuckles.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Yeah?"

"So much."

The sunrise is pretty. It's one of the best ones you've seen in your entire life. It consisted of pinks, and yellows, and a little bit of purple. Though there were wispy clouds in it, it was like the earth was telling you it's okay to move on and go. Some may say it would be a perfect way to end a beautiful night, or in your case, the perfect way to say goodbye.

#fydream #neowritingsnet #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream x reader #nct dream fanfic #nct dream soft hours #nct dream timestamps #nct dream scenarios #nct dream blurbs #jisung imagines #jisung fluff #jisung x reader #jisung fanfic #jisung soft hours #jisung timestamps #jisung scenarios #jisung blurbs

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch29. The Sokovia Accords Part 2: No, You Move.

Summary: Whilst discussing the proposed accords, Steve gets some bad news which makes everything pale into insignificance. And then, another ghost from his past comes back to haunt them.

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Elements of this have been reworked/rewritten…for reasons which will become apparent at some point! And I’ve also added in the scene with Natasha at the church. I love the banner and edit too from @angrybirdcr.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 29 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Steve had hoped that the more casual setting would defuse the seriousness of the situation. But that went out of the window an hour or so later when Rhodey and Sam started going at it. Steve was sat in the arm chair carefully reading through the accords packet with a deep frown, Katie perched on the arm of the chair reading over his shoulder. Tony was reclined on the chaise to their right with his hand covering his face as Sam and Rhodey argued, Natasha sitting patiently down by Tony’s legs waiting for them to be done. Vision and Wanda were on the sofa to their other side, neither having said much.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional medal of Honour,” argued Rhodey from behind the chair. Katie turned to look at them both. “Which is one more than you have.” He mocked Sam.

“So let’s say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they Low-Jack us like a bunch of common criminals?” Sam shot back.

“A hundred an seventeen countries want to sign this. A hundred and seventeen, Sam, and you’re just like, no, that’s cool. We got it.”

“How long are you going to play both sides?” Sam snapped.

“I have an equation.” Vision spoke loudly before Rhodey could reply, causing both men to quiet down and everyone to look at him. Steve lifted his head from the packet bringing his arm up to rest on Katie’s thigh.

“Oh, now this will clear it up,” said Sam sarcastically.

“In the eight years since Mr Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.” Vision steeped his fingers together as he looked around a everyone.

“Are you saying it’s our fault?” Steve asked tensely, his hand on Katie’s leg became heavier.

“I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight isn’t an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”

“Boom,” Rhodey exclaimed, believing that Vision had solidified his point.

Katie shook her head sighing,

“Sorry Vision, I disagree.” Everyone’s attention now turned to her. “Being supervised is one thing. But from what I’ve read these Accords want us to give up total control of what we do and when we do it.” She paused as Steve’s arm slid from her leg to wrap around her back. She then turned her attention to Tony and looked at him as he remained still, hand over his face. "Clearly this has been in the pipeline for some time now, so why are we only just hearing about it?”

Tony glanced at her from underneath his hand, not offering an answer, as she continued.

“And less than a week to come to a decision on something like this? They’re trying to back us into a corner without giving us any proper time to discuss or negotiate the terms and its wrong.” She finished simply, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

“Boom.” Sam repeated from behind her.

“Tony.” Natasha addressed him as he removed his hand from his face. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal,”

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Katie raised her eyebrow.

“Kiddo, you know me so well.” Tony scoffed then groaned, standing up and moving over to the kitchen area with a sigh "Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort.” Another frustrated sigh escaped him as he faffed with something in the sink. “Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

Tony moved to the other countertop slapping down the coffee mug and coffee pot before pulling his phone from his pocket and dropping it onto the fruit basket, then turning it on revealing the hologram of a young man.

“Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way,” said Tony with fake carelessness. “He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk; see the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun.” He spat sarcastically, “He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor guess where: Sokovia.”

He slammed his mug down as he stared round the room in anger, whilst Katie looked over at Wanda who bowed her head the moment her home was mentioned.

“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. We won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were 'kicking ass’.” Tony ran a hand down his face before taking a drink of his coffee. “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.” He concluded, walking around the counter to lean back against it holding his arms over his chest.

“Tony,” Steve began gently. “If someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up.”

“Who said we’re giving up?” Tony questioned.

“We are for not taking responsibility for our actions.” Continued Steve. “This document just shifts the blame.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. That is dangerously arrogant.” Rhodey interrupted “This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

“No, but its run by people with agendas, and agendas change.” Steve shot back, earnestly.

“That’s good.” Tony answered, re-joining the group. “That’s why I’m here. Look, Cap, me and Kiddo, when we realized what Stark weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, we shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”

“Yeah, but Tony, we chose to do that.” Katie jabbed at her chest as she blazed at her brother, her voice gathering momentum and volume. “If we sign these then the next time something like that happens we won’t have the right to choose!“

"What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go?” Steve continued his hand gently rubbing at Katie’s back. He was glad they were on the same page, but he didn’t want her getting upset and falling out with Tony. “What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us?” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

Tony looked down at the couple who both stared back at him. He rolled his eyes again. Of course they would be united on this, they were united on everything. But there were bigger things at stake here. If they didn’t agree, they’d be forced to retire, and the team would be split up. And he couldn’t let that happen.

“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s the fact. That won’t be pretty,” Tony explained, his tone almost pleading.

“You’re saying they’ll come for me?” Asked Wanda quietly.

“We would protect you,” Vision added placing a gentle hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

“Maybe Tony’s right.” Natasha spoke, turning her eyes to both Katie and Steve, trying to get them to see her point. Katie looked at her incredulously, and Steve’s mouth fell open a little in surprise. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam frowned, interrupting her in disbelief.

“I’m just…reading the terrain.” She sighed. “We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”

“Focus up – I’m sorry, did I just mishear you, or did you agree with me?” Tony looked at her.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I want to take it back now.” She groaned but Tony was quick to cut in.

“No, you can’t retract it.” He said, waving a finger at her. “Thank you. Unprecedented. Case closed I win.”

As Katie shot some annoyed response back to Tony, something along the lines of him being ‘an egotistical, arrogant prick’, Steve felt his phone going in his pocket. He shifted slightly to pull it out and glanced down. It was a message from Peggy’s son, Michael.

‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’

As the meaning behind the words sunk in, his throat tightened, and suddenly the damned accords didn’t matter anymore. Taking a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest, he felt the familiar sting of tears in his in his eyes but he didn’t want to break down, not here, not in front of the team.

“I have to go.” He breathed out, handing the Accords to Katie before standing and leaving the room quickly without meeting anyone’s eye.

He made it to the stairwell, leaning against the railings, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down but he couldn’t. The tears began to fall and he slumped down onto one of the steps. Which was where Katie found him a few minutes later, shocked to see his shoulders were shaking. She said nothing until she had made her way down to him, wedging herself on the step beside him between him and the wall.

“Stevie?” She asked quietly inspecting his face, seeing the tears across his cheeks. “Sweetheart, what is it.”

“It’s err..” He sniffed and wiped at his nose with a finger, not looking at her “It’s Peg. She’s gone.”

“Oh, no.” Katie muttered, dropping her head. Poor Peggy. She had been quite ill over the last few weeks and the Doctors had said it was unlikely she would recover, but the both of them had been hoping to get to see her to say their goodbyes. Katie felt the tears sting her eyes as she opened up her arms and Steve immediately fell into them. Sometimes it was much too easy to forget how young and inexperienced life wise he actually was at heart and Katie simply held him, as she felt his tears hit her neck. Gently she ran her fingers through his hair as they sat still, not saying a word.

"Will you come with me to the funeral?” His voice was hoarse and muffled but she heard him anyway

“Of course I will.” she said looking at him as he pulled away, his eyes red. She reached up to wipe his face with the back of her hand as he rest his forehead against hers. “Of course I will.”

***** London was caught in the middle of a summer storm when they arrived, four days later. The wind and rain whipped Katie’s hair about her face as they stepped from the StarkJet onto the tarmac of Gatwick Airport. They made their way towards the waiting car, Steve’s large hand taking her smaller, and somewhat colder, one in his as they walked, Sam pacing at his other side. The drive to the hotel was filled mainly with Sam and Katie chatting as she pointed out various landmarks to the man, Steve remaining silent on the whole apart from chipping in when he was spoken to.

His sombre mood continued through to the evening, and when Katie told him that Sam was meeting up with some of his old Air Force buddies and suggested that the two of them head out for something to eat, he was torn between wanting to go out and try to enjoy some time with her, and this strange urge he felt to simply curl up in the relative safety of the hotel room with her, alone. And then there was the war which was raging inside him, an internal battle in the depth of his conscious and mind. He was married to Katie, he loved her, more than he’d ever loved anyone. And yet, here he was grieving so much for a woman who, when all was said and done, he hadn’t actually known for that long. Peggy was his past, Katie was his here and now, his future, his forever. So why did he feel this way?

“Stevie.” Katie’s voice gently shook him from his thoughts and he turned away from the view of the Thames he’d been observing through the floor to ceiling window of their suite and faced her. “We don’t have to go anywhere to eat if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I just, I feel…”

“Upset? Tired of pretending you’re okay?” She supplied and he gave a little huff of laugher, shaking his head as he looked at the soft, deep blue carpet of the room.

“You know, are you sure you don’t have some kind of secret mind reading power?” He looked at her once more and she smiled softly.

“No, I just know you.” She stepped forward and held out her arms and Steve moved to fall into them, his cheek resting on her head as he let out a shaky breath. “You don’t have to hide it in front of me, you know.” She pulled back to look at him, her hands cupping his face.

“I love you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” She frowned before her head tilted to the side as she considered what he had just said, suddenly understanding. “Wait, is that what’s bothering you? How I feel?”

His lack of response spoke volumes as he looked down once more, his large hands gently wrapping around her wrists, moving her hands to her side so he could lace his fingers between hers.

“Oh, Steve!” Katie shook her head and her fingers tightened around his. “You’ve every right to feel how you do, Peggy meant a lot to you.”

“She did, yeah, but so do you.” He glanced at her, his blue eyes shining with tears. “In fact, you mean more to me than anything else ever has. I just wanna be sure you know that.”

“If I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t have married you.” Katie shrugged simply. “But, Soldier, just because you love me the way you do, doesn’t mean that you never loved Peggy, or that you still can’t in some ways.” When he didn’t reply, Katie studied him for a moment, before she took a deep breath. “Steve, look at me, please.” He did as she asked and she gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay, I promise you I understand.”

He gave her another little smile as she stood on her toes to brush her lips against his. “Now, I’m gonna draw you a bath. You’re gonna get in, and you’re gonna relax.”

“Is that an order, Ma’am?” He smiled and Katie chuckled.

“Yeah, it is. And you know what else I’m gonna order? A fuck tonne of room service.”

It was Steve’s turn to chuckle as she smiled. “Then we can raid the mini-bar and bunker down for the evening. How’s that sound?”

Steve smiled, his hand reaching up to brush a piece of hair behind her ears. “It sounds okay, but would be a whole lot better if you said you were gonna join me in the bath.”

Katie smiled, her eyes flashing a little as he leaned down and captured her lips with his, the kiss slow and deep. Her arms slid up round his neck, fingers softly skating along his hairline and he let out a contented sigh as she broke away, his forehead pressing to hers, hands softly flexing on her hips. Without another word she pulled away before taking his hand, and gently leading him through the suite to the bathroom.

***** Steve didn’t sleep well that night. His mind was in overdrive, his subconscious showing him people he hadn’t seen in a very, very long time. He dreamt about Peggy, Bucky, Howard, the Howlies…and Katie. Even in dreams about his past she was there, ever present, just like she was in his life. When he woke up from a particularly vivid flashback about crashing back into the ice, he jerked bolt upright with a yell, his breathing desperate and ragged. Katie sat up beside him, her hand on his clammy back as she gently soothed him, her calm and quiet. Steve swallowed, turning to face her as she sat looking at him, concern etched on her face. She made to get out of bed to fetch him a glass of water but he stopped her, his large hand curling gently around her arm. He needed her, and he wasted no time at all in making sure she understood that. As she lay underneath him, her hands wrapped around his back, nails biting his skin, he fucked her, hard and fast, into the mattress, the relief washing over him like a tidal wave. When he evened out, he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him, his hand carding through her hair as hers traced random shapes over his chest. The pair of them lay still, gentle and loving touches and kisses being shared as they simply talking until the sun rose. And then Steve found himself back over his wife once more as he stuffed himself insider her again, only this time he made love to her, as softly and as gently as he could, needing to feel every single inch of her against him as he surrendered to that bliss that only she could ever make him feel.

They took a room service breakfast and at just before Eleven they met Sam in the Reception of the hotel and made their way to the church. Steve, who had been asked by Peggy’s family to be a pall bearer, hung back outside as Katie and Sam took their seats along the front pew of the Church. It wasn’t long before the choir began to sing and Katie turned as the procession walked down the aisle. Steve held the front right-hand corner of the coffin, carrying it with stiff steps, his cheeks wet, eyes red rimmed and full of tears. Katie felt Sam squeeze her shoulder, and she turned to face him briefly.

“My heart is breaking for him, Sam.” She whispered through her own tears as Sam dropped his hand to take hers, as they both watched the six men place the coffin at the front of the church. Sam released Katie’s hand with another gentle squeeze and they shuffled down to make room for Steve who took her left hand, seeking out her comfort and contact as he stared at the picture to the side of the coffin. It showed the Peggy he had known, back in the Forties, standing tall and proud in her uniform.

When the choir song ended they all sat, Steve staring down at his wife’s hand wrapped in his, and he began to play with her wedding and engagement rings, twirling them round her finger, his mind straying to his wedding and how he had told Katie at the toasts he was only strong because she made him that way. He was so glad she was with him now. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly felt her hand contract around his, quite hard, and he looked up at her. When he did she nodded her head in the direction of the podium. Steve’s eyes followed then did a slight double take at who was stood there.

Agent Thirteen of Shield special service and his ex-neighbour.

“Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of Shield.” The woman who’s name Steve recalled being told by Natasha was Sharon, began, sounding nervous. “But I just knew her as Aunt Peggy.”

Peggy’s Niece? Steve couldn’t believe his ears. All that time she had been living across the hall, spying on him…and she was Peggy’s niece?

“She had a photograph in her office, Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But, it was a lot to live up to. Which is why I barely told anyone we were related.” Sharon glanced down at Steve, like she was offering him some form of explanation.

“I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either.” Sharon swallowed before she continued, her voice becoming stronger. “And she said, 'Compromise when you can. But when you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty, to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, 'No, you move.”

Katie glanced at Steve then to Sam, the three of them sharing a knowing glance. Those words were powerful, especially given the situation with the Accords. And for Steve, it was almost like Peggy was speaking to him, still giving him advice even in her death.

Despite the utter sorrow he was feeling, Steve couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment.

Thanks Peg…

*****

Katie watched as Steve leaned against the end of one of the pews, lost in his thought. He’d by passed the part where they were actually putting Peggy into the ground, saying he didn’t want to see it so instead, Katie had given him a moment to pay his respects along, waiting for him to give her some direction as to what he wanted to next.

As always, he seemed to know she was there before she even made a sound and he looked up, giving her a small smile as she walked down the middle of the church aisle towards him.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He smiled as she stopped in front of him, opening her arms to give him a hug.

“How you doing?” She asked softly, her lips brushing his temple as he pressed his face into her neck.

“I’m okay.” He assured her, pulling back. “Just, suppose it’s sunk in that she’s actually gone, you know.” Katie gave him a sad smile. “When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out that she was alive. I was just lucky to have her.”

“She had you back, too.” Katie looked at him.

“Yeah, and at least I knew where she was, unlike Bucky.”

“Don’t give up on him just yet, love.” Katie rubbed his arm as he placed a kiss to her forehead. Steve glanced once more to the front of the church and Katie followed his glance to look at the flowers placed on the alter.

“It was a nice service.” She said, her arm looping round his waist.

“Yeah, it was.” A familiar voice spoke and both of them whipped round to see Natasha strolling towards them. Steve let out a little scoff and looked down, shaking his head.

“You know, I thought I saw you before but convinced myself I was seeing things.”

“Well, I was sorta in the area.” She shrugged. There was a pause before Steve voiced what was on his mind since he’d left the compound a few days ago.

“Who else signed?” Steve asked.

“Tony. Rhodey. Vision.”

“Clint?” Katie asked.

Nat smiled slightly. “Says he's retired.”

“Wanda?” Steve looked at her.

“TBD” Nat answered. Katie looked at Steve before Nat took a deep breath. “I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There's plenty of room on the jet.”

Steve sighed and bowed his head.

“Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path.” Nat continued. “Staying together is more important than how we stay together.”

“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” Katie asked and Natasha merely held her gaze.

“What are we giving up to do it?” Steve shook his head as Natasha turned to him. “I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it.”

“Me neither.” Katie added. “Not as they stand.”

“I know.” Nat smiled.

“Then what are you doing here?” Steve looked at her.

“Well, like I said, I was in the area.” Nat’s eyes flicked to the alter. “Plus, knowing who she is and what she did. I might never have met her but, well, it felt right to pay my respects.” She then looked back at them both. “Plus, I wanted to see you, check you were okay.” She said the last part to Steve more than Katie and he gave her a little smile as she moved to give him a hug.

****

They decided to go to the wake, and Katie took the chance to seek out Sharon where she was standing among a group of people, making polite conversation but clearly looking for a way out, which Katie was happy to provide, squeezing her elbow gently, and gesturing with her head for the blonde woman to follow her.

“I really am sorry about Peggy,” Katie began as they settled at an empty table. “She was a phenomenal woman.”

"Thank you,” Sharon said softly. “That means a lot. You know she liked you?”

Katie chuckled “She told me once or twice.” “I think she was happy that Steve found someone.” Sharon smiled. “Someone that makes him happy.”

Katie glanced at where Steve and Sam were waiting at the bar. Steve shot her a glance over his shoulder and smiled softly, before Katie returned her attention to the woman opposite her.

“So this accords thing?” Sharon changed the subject “It’s really happening?”

“Looks that way, yeah.”

“And where do you stand on it?”

“I’m not signing” Katie shook her head. “Not the way they stand, that’s for sure. And seeing as they don’t seem to want to negotiate terms, it’s a non-starter.”

“Does Steve feel the same?”

Katie nodded. “And Sam.”

Before Sharon could question her further, Katie’s eyes flicked to a point over her shoulder and she gave a side smile as the boys approached.

“Ladies,” Sam baritone smoothly, sitting in the seat next to Sharon and setting down a drink in front of her. From the look on the blonde’s face, this surprised her, but she accepted nonetheless with a thanks. Steve sat next to Katie handing over another glass of wine, whilst pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“You okay?” She whispered before he pulled away completely. He nodded and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. I saw just telling Sam about what Nat said.”

“And I was cheering to an honourable discharge.” Sam snorted sarcastically as he raised his glass. “Again.”

“Sorry, for jumping in but, if you’re not signing the Accords then what does that mean for you all?” Sharon looked round the table

“I dunno.” Steve smiled softly, shaking his head.

“Ultimate fighting?” Sam cut in, and Steve snorted as Katie laughed. “I told you, you’d be great at it.”

"More like an early retirement.” Steve stated, a small smile playing on his face.

“Not really that early though is it, Cap?” Sam continued his ribbing “I mean like you are hundred or whatever…”

As was natural with these type of functions, a few hours later people started to leave and eventually Peggy’s children headed over to the table to say their goodbyes. As they all stood to offer their condolences once more, something Michael said about Peggy being a woman of many surprises, brought back something which had been weighing heavily on Steve’s mind since he had left the church.

When Sharon stated that she was heading back to her hotel, Steve suggested that she walked with them, but for the most of the short walk, he remained silent, brooding over his thoughts. And it was only when they reached the door to Sharon’s hotel that he spoke, telling Katie that he’d meet her and Sam in their hotel bar in a couple of minutes.

She shot him a puzzled look but he had simply shook his head in a silent instruction not to argue. So, she merely shrugged, linked her arm through Sam’s and they crossed the road and headed straight inside, crossing the lobby.

“What’s all that about?” Sam asked as he held the heavy wooden door open for her. Katie shrugged and stepped into the room.

“Beats me, he obviously has something on his mind.” She said, walking into the large wooden bar which curved along the back of the circular room. “Can I have…” she trailed off as she spotted the TV on the wall behind the bar tender, which was programmed to the BBC news.

Her eyes widened and she felt Sam stiffen besides her.

“Is this…is this live?” She asked the guy who was waiting to serve them. He nodded. “Can you turn the volume up?”

He nodded again and obliged.

“…at the moment we know that over 70 people have been injured and that number is rising. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T'Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

Katie swallowed as the picture of the suspect flashed across the screen. It looked like Bucky alright.

“Shit.” Sam said, from behind her.

“Go, get Steve.” She urged, “I need to call Tony.”

*****

“My mom tried to talk me out of enlisting, but, um, not Aunt Peggy. She bought me my first thigh holster.” Sharon smiled as they walked through the lobby.

“Very practical.” Steve nodded.

“And stylish.” Sharon smiled as she stopped by the elevator, pressing the call button before she turned to look at Steve.

“CIA has you stationed over here now?”

“In Berlin, Joint Terrorism Task Force.”

“Right. Right.” Steve nodded. “Sounds fun.”

“I know, right?” Sharon chuckled.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Steve took a deep breath, finally voicing what was on his mind. “When you were spying on me from across the hall…”

“You mean when I was doing my job?” Sharon interrupted but Steve ignored her.

“Did Peggy know?”

Sharon considered him for a moment, before she let out a gentle sigh.

“She kept so many secrets. I didn’t want her to have one from you.” Sharon lay her hand on his arm, and Steve felt the weight lift off his shoulders. He had been so scared that Peggy had been lying to him for the past few years, to hear that she hadn’t was a relief.

“Thanks for walking me back.” Sharon nodded to the elevator “Tell Katie and Sam I’m grateful.”

She moved to give Steve a hug, and he obliged, but the broke apart when they both heard footsteps running towards them.

“Steve…you gotta see this.” Sam urged and Steve frowned, looking at him, before he spotted Katie running into the lobby, and looking round.

He moved instantly towards her, and she spotted him, hurrying straight towards him.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hands gently curling round her upper arms.

“There’s been a bomb in Vienna.” She explained, taking a deep breath. “A deliberate attack on the signing ceremony.”

Steve felt himself grow cold. “Is everyone okay?”

“I got through to Tony and they’re all safe but the King of Wakanda. He’s dead, Steve” Katie took a deep breath. “And…” She trailed off licking her lips as she took a deep breath.

“Katie, what is it?” Steve’s voice wasn’t unkind but it was firm as he looked at her, and she threw her head back, looking at the ceiling for a moment before, with a monumental effort, she looked back at him, swallowing deeply.

“It’s Bucky, Steve.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “It looks like he’s responsible.”

**** Chapter 30

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #Katie Stark #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers fic #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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neurodivergentnecessity · 3 years

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The big brother AU was made by @petrichormeraki and Djali was made by @siren07tucker

Ok so last time I showed you guys what I thought Grumbot, Juni, and Tizzy would look over time. In that post I mentioned that I was in the process of drawing and writing the rest of the kids and because it's almost Christmas for me I decided to post this so let's get going with Djali! Merry Christmas

Djali as we all know had a very rocky childhood because they lived on a server where mob hybrids were heavily discriminated against. It left them living on the streets fending for themselves and constantly being beaten and abused by others. That changed when Doc and Xisuma were visiting the server, the two immediately adopted Djali as their own and took them to Hermitcraft. Doc mostly took care of Djali; he helped them learn how to defend themselves properly and to respect The G.O.A.T. Djali was overall closer to him. Every once and a while they would visit Xisuma and during that time showed an interest in coding and being an Admin. So Xisuma taught Djali how to code and he also gave them free therapy sessions to go with. As they became older they started becoming more comfortable with people around them. They even started making some friends, some of them being Grumbot and Juni due to being closer in age, and they became best friends with Aislin despite their age difference. Also due to him hanging out with Aislin a lot they’ve also become close to his sisters, although not super close. As a young adult Djali is a well known activist for the mob hybrids equality movement. They are also an Admin of a server that accommodates, helps, and shields mob hybrids. They are still close to Aislin despite the complications with living on two different servers, often sending letters to each other asking how the other is.

Next up is Aslin he was born after an incident regarding a magical potion and some Vex intervention. After some panicking on Bdubs’ part he decided to keep Aslin a secret for a bit until he was caught after coming clean Bdubs decided to still keep it a secret that Scar was the other parent. Unfortunately Scar caught on and after some shenanigans the two ended up together and raising Aislin. As a toddler Aslin became very interested in almost everything, especially plants, whenever he saw one he would become very quiet and simply look at it. His fascination with plants didn’t stop there; he had an odd habit of talking to them the weirdest thing, the plants seemed to be listening and responding to him. It unnerved Bdubs a bit until Scar explained that it was normal for a young magic user to communicate with specific items, in Aslin’s case plants. He also loved whether unintentional or not was annoying his older sisters. It was hilarious to him when they would let out an annoyed scream at his antics. As a child he calmed down a bit and wasn’t as obsessed with plants as before, he also annoyed his sisters a bit less mostly because he had become best friends with Djali and spent a lot of time playing with them. Unfortunately for him his sisters decided to take advantage of Aislin stopping annoying them and decided to get some revenge. So whenever Aislin would be hanging out with Djali they would strike butting into the conversation, stealing something of his, and generally being annoying, this would always cause Aislin to stomp off and tell on them. As a teenager nobody knows what happened to Aislin including himself. Djali also unfortunately left to become the Admin for a new server they had created, the two stayed in touch though. Also during this time he became obsessed with the band Swords N’ Arrows. He loved how cool they were as well as their music and style. Soon as if a switch was flipped inside of him and he adopted Swords N’ Arrows’ “cool” look and attitude, his sisters found his transformation hilarious. Once a young adult Aislin’s personality seemingly did a full 180 and changed from his old “emo” one, and to quote him “No, I don’t want to talk about it... Atalanta put the photo down. No! Come back! They don’t need to see it!” He’s also been practicing his plant magic and is getting pretty good at controlling it. He's had no incidents in 5 “oops” 0 days. Also with the ability to travel he’s been able to visit Djali every so often which is fun for the both of them.

Now next is the twins which, quick disclaimer up until teen hood their stories will be very similar because up until then they were basically attached at the hip, so yeah. Let’s start with Atalanta after Scar accidentally cut himself on two of his magical crystals Atalanta and her sister were born several weeks later. Scar decided to take some time off from being the mayor to get a handle on being a parent, that is until he was informed of a very important meeting that he couldn’t skip so with not many options Scar decided to bring his daughters to the meeting. Nothing got done and it would have been better if he had not come. Many people were very surprised to find out that Scar was a papa and even more surprised to see how competent he was with caring for them seeing as he wasn’t the best at caring for himself. As a toddler Atalanta was fairly social and enjoyed taking to others, but she could be a bit shy at times. She and her sister loved playing with others one of their favorite people to play with was Tizzy and she liked playing with them as well. Also during this time they got a brother, Aislin after Scar and Bdubs started dating. The two loved him and would try to play with them despite not fully understanding that he was a baby and couldn’t really do much. Childhood was exciting for multiple reasons, one of them being that she and her sister got to be the flower girls at Scar and Bdub’s wedding. They were also excited to keep Aislin permanently. Of course that excitement quickly turned into annoyance when he discovered that he loved pestering and annoying his sisters. Atalanta still loved him but could he be just a little more quiet. She also started tapping into her stamina ability and relished in the fact that she could beat anyone in a race just by using it slightly. In her teen years she became a bit rebellious one of her acts of rebellion included getting a nose ring. Which backfired slightly due to Scar saying he was happy that she was starting to express herself. She also started spending less time with her sister which wasn’t a bad thing they just had different interests. Of course they weren’t completely separate; they had decided to take their revenge on Aslin for annoying him for so long by interrupting his play time with his friend, Djali, who Fortuna seemed to enjoy being around. As a young adult she got to witness Aislin transform himself into a emo wreck which she found absolutely hilarious and took as many pictures as possible to later use to embarrass him. She also added to the nose ring she got as a teenager with a piercing to her bottom lip and some on her upper ears. She also found her papa’s old jacket and totally didn’t steal and cut it to make a cropped jacket. Once she was old enough to join MCC she absolutely did and started a bit of rivalry with Tizzy. It wasn’t that intense due to Tizzy being better at hand to hand situations then her and Atalanta being better at speed and agility situations then Tizzy.

Last but certainly not least is Fortuna after Scar accidentally cut himself on two of his magical crystals Fortuna and her sister were born several weeks later. Scar decided to take some time off from being the mayor to get a handle on being a parent, that is until he was informed of a very important meeting that he couldn’t skip so with not many options Scar decided to bring his daughters to the meeting. Many people were very surprised to find out that Scar was a papa and even more surprised to see how competent he was with caring for them seeing as he wasn’t the best at caring for himself. Fortuna was a bit more reserved than her sister but she still enjoyed talking to others. She and her sister loved playing with others one of their favorite people to play with was Tizzy and she liked playing with them as well. Also during this time they got a brother, Aislin after Papa and Bdubs started dating. The two loved him and would try to play with him despite not fully understanding that he was a baby and couldn’t really do much. Childhood was exciting for multiple reasons, one of them being that she and her sister got to be the flower girls at Papa and Bdub’s wedding. They were also excited to keep Aislin permanently. Of course that excitement quickly turned into annoyance when he discovered that he loved pestering and annoying his sisters. She would still play with him though. As a teenager Fortuna loved whenever Aislin would hang out with Djali for two reasons one that meant that she and her sister could go over there and annoy Aislin the other was she developed a huge crush on Djali and loved being around them. Besides annoying Aislin the sisters didn’t really hang out a lot, but she did accompany her sister when she got her nose ring, there was a lot of... no crying. During this time she also started experimenting with her luck ability trying to figure out if she could direct it towards anyone, during her experiments she noticed that her luck ability was directly linked to her mood, good mood good luck, bad mood bad luck. As a young adult Fortuna started experimenting with the relationship with magic and science. In her studies she’s discovered that though magic to others is just science they have yet to understand it’s actually it’s own individual thing. Magic as she has found it has a sort of sentience to it that can be channeled through different beings, some beings are bound to a certain type of magic while others can expand and grow upon it. She has also increased her own magical abilities and can now sense other peoples magical aura, which has made her studies much easier.

#my art #my artwork #big brother au #atlanta #fortuna #djali #aislin

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ppatpranss · 4 years

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GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 04 Review: Finding someone you can be alone together with

“Dahil taga-rito ka rin.”

Gaya Sa Pelikula is pretty much my fixation the past month, and I’ve reached peak devastation after Friday night’s episode. Being reminded that love is a beautiful thing can either make you happy or sad, or both. While it is true that there is nothing wrong about being alone, and that our feeling of completeness should not depend on another person, it still hits different when you find someone you can come home to. Or, in Vlad’s case, slowly realize that home might be Karl.

This show tells us that love is often a slow progress, that you don’t really find it in big moments. It’s in the small, everyday thing you notice or discover about a person. And maybe sometimes, all you need to get through a day is something as simple as a hug (something sorely missed in this time of pandemic). Karl and Vlad, thank you for that reminder.

Disclaimer: I kinda messed up the gif qualities for this post. Since I’ve no time to fix them now, I’ll just do better for the next episode huhu.

[WATCH THE EPISODE HERE]

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Law of Proximity

It’s the day before Christmas and Karl is decorating the place. He’s obviously enthusiastic about it because he had garlands, table pieces, and a whole Christmas tree with star. Even cuter, he made two Christmas socks with “KARL” and “VLAD” on them. I can’t believe this kid – he’s letting Vlad slowly assimilate into his life and he doesn’t even realize it.

Anyway, Vlad comes home and is obviously not a fan of the decorations. He made this whole argument about Christmas being a pagan-turned-capitalist tradition, while Karl can only tell him to not be too harsh to baby Jesus (lol). Vlad disputed this even more, making a comment about how Jesus is way too forgiving to be a Capricorn. Despite himself though, Vlad was smiling while looking at the socks and told Karl before he left, “Hey, Arki, if it means that much to you, you can keep the socks there.”

Note: He calls him “Arki” as in short for architecture because Karl is an Architecture student.

We learn a bit more about Vlad in this episode during his videocall with Sue, who we discover is his best friend. She was teasing him about his current “live-in partner” and Vlad launched into this pretty affectionate way of describing Karl and his many quirks. Karl is a very neat person, but hates washing the dishes. Vlad also finds it cute (but he didn’t say this, I’m doing the honors for him) whenever Karl would get excited every time they watch a film together. All of these, Vlad is saying with a big smile on his face, and ending it with a hopeless sigh-like, hay nako. Sue caught it.

Sue tells Vlad about the law of proximity. She made an example of it through Big Brother wherein some people end up being in a relationship because they spend too much time together. Vlad deflects and says he’s not about to fall for a straight guy, “I refuse to be a plot device that triggers somebody else’s identity crisis. Not again.” Nonetheless, it’s good that Sue opened this up because feelings can get really tricky when you spend so much time with a person even if it’s just a short amount of time. Actually, it feels like you’re in a time warp.

Naturally, Vlad sees a lot of things about Karl that he may find either endearing or annoying. It’s obvious though that he finds Karl endearing and he, too, is starting to catch feelings. His reservations are preventing him to make a move, not just because he thinks that Karl is straight but mostly because of a past experience or trauma. He can’t be brave about just putting himself out there so he’s trying to proceed with caution.

Sue still encouraged him to try to invite Karl to spend Christmas with him instead of wallowing alone watching white boy Sundance films (I’M DEAD. I love Sue so much). Vlad actually looked like he’s considering the idea even if he was being a baby about it the entire time.

Theme Song Test

Meanwhile, Karl is also pre-occupied when Anna knocked on his door to use the WiFi. She’s on the phone with a client, visibly mad that they are forcing her to rush the output. This went on and on with Karl just watching her pace around the house. After the call, Anna immediately jumped on the idea of them watching a movie together.

Moments later, Karl and Anna are seated on the couch crying over what is obviously She’s Dating the Gangster. Anna tells Karl that she’ll use the restroom first and it is in this moment when Vlad finally arrives. He must have gotten used to seeing Karl crying at films that he is not really surprised to see him in tears now. It’s cute how he got all fidget-y while trying to ask Karl that maybe they can have a proper Noche Buena, “Tayo. Noche Buena. Together.”

Karl tells Vlad that he needs to go home for Christmas, and that he’ll carpool with Anna. “Who’s Anna?” says Vlad and that is when she popped out to introduce herself. Her presence in the house pretty much stirred conflicted feeling on the side of in Vlad especially when she decided to stay over for another film.

Another movie ends and Karl and Anna are still seated on the couch. Vlad looks hilariously miserable watching them together. Is it even safe to say that Karl and Anna are being flirty? I don’t know, they are mostly loud and touchy the entire time but maybe Karl is really just comfortable around her. Nonetheless, it was so funny seeing them in their elements talking about random things while Vlad is constantly rolling his eyes at anything that Anna says to Karl.

Anna then talks about the theme song test. Apparently, when you listen to a song and a face of a person comes on to your mind, it means you want to be with that person. Karl says he’s never experienced it because he does not like anyone at the moment anyway. Vlad looks so done with them already, but he especially acted out when Anna was about to make Karl listen to a song to do the test. Vlad started getting whiny over the unwashed mugs and Karl is still clueless about his true intention. Even as Karl tries to stop Anna from leaving, she got the hint and said goodbye.

Karl tells Vlad to stop nagging about the unwashed mugs and he had a biting comeback that Karl is not the only one who can get mad about dishes and mugs piling up. Karl thinks that Vlad is acting jealous because he’s putting up an act for Anna, then tells him that Anna knows about them anyway. This agitated Vlad more, and when Karl was telling him to drop the jealous boyfriend act, he actually said “Who says I’m acting?”

Both of them were taken aback and there was this one long painful second before Vlad saved himself by adding, “Angry. Who says I’m acting angry?” Thankfully there are dishes and mugs to wash otherwise he would have made a complete mess of himself right then and there. As usual, they continued to banter with Karl touching Vlad’s hair again to annoy him.

One of the things I liked about this episode, by the way, is the presence of both Anna and Sue. We got to see a different side of Vlad and got to know him more through Sue. When we thought Anna will simply serve as a jealousy bait, she actually helped propelled the romance more by telling Karl (and Vlad by extension) about the theme song test.

“The ever-burgeoning need for people vs the effort put into self-preservation”

Vlad wakes up looking for Karl but of course he’s no longer there since he went home to his family. Vlad pretty much spent the entire day on the couch and was already getting drunk come the evening. He keeps sending Karl messages but is left on seen. He even sent him a couple of selfies. When Karl still hasn’t replied, he sent him a video of him jokingly attempting to ruin the Christmas decorations. Finally, Karl called, and Vlad got really excited about it.

It’s probably because he’s drunk but Vlad keeps on making these little moves on Karl – asking him if he thinks he’s cute, and that he wants Karl to pick him up. But the video call ended as soon as it started because Karl needed to join Noche Buena with his family.

A call from Ate Judit came in but he did not answer it. Then, when his phone rang again, he finally answered it. It was his mother. It’s interesting to me that Vlad would answer this call because of course, what we know so far is that they are not in good terms. But I suppose the holidays really make you soft and set aside any feelings of anger if you can at least have a moment of conversation with someone you still value with your heart. There’s a gut punch when Vlad actually said he’s having fun with friends to his mom, when he’s all alone in the apartment. And to make it slightly more painful, the call ended with an “I miss you.”

Vlad opened his message thread with A. Right then and there, a birthday greeting appeared complete with an “I miss you” (Please, lumayo ka nga Hudas! #OustHudas). He did not get a chance to reply because Sue called and it made him visibly happy. He opened the gift she sent him only to discover that it might have been switched with Karl’s gift to his parents because the content was a framed sketch of his family. As the night wears on, you feel Vlad wallowing more and more into his aloneness.

Nica del Rosario’s Tahanan plays as we see Vlad look around the house, feeling how empty it is. The lights are shining around him, but they don’t look bright at all, at least for Vlad. We see a montage of him dancing around the house, and when he finally checked the content of the VLAD Christmas sock that Karl put up for him, it has a gift inside. Turns out, it was slippers with a note, “Dahil taga-rito ka rin.” He saw another wrapped gift and it was another one by Karl this time with a note, “Bahala ka na kung sa’n mo ‘ko ilalagay” and it was a picture frame. Vlad looked so happy and was hugging the picture frame.

I think that Vlad is a sucker for gestures, of having someone who seems to know him and care for him. I liked seeing Vlad in this state of being alone and lonely. It was personally heartrending to watch, but it tells us so much about what he is as a person. He is fine being alone. I think it’s how he’s operated throughout the years of discovering himself. True, he has an overbearing-but-caring sister in Ate Judit and a wonderful best friend in Sue and they know so much about him, but it’s also the reason why it’s not easy for him to open up about these things. I think that when you go on for so long being “someone” for a specific person, your tendency is to continue putting up that act. This is not to say that Vlad is faking who he is, but that there’s this difficulty for him to fully express himself around them. So seeing him being open about this hollowness that he’s been feeling especially on his birthday was a welcome narrative.

It's that dilemma: your need for people to completely understand who you are, but also just as you are about to bare yourself, you automatically put up these defenses to kind of preserve that little piece of you to yourself. But in a way, you’re expecting someone to get a read on you – that maybe someone would see you even if you don’t offer that piece of you so voluntarily. I think that is Karl for Vlad. Karl takes him by surprise every single time by doing all these gestures for him, or when he overhears what he has to say about him. I suppose that at the end of the day, you just want to find someone who effortlessly gets you.

Theme song test: Tahanan

As Vlad stands in the middle of the living room hugging the picture frame that Karl gave him, he sees Karl come in through the door. Karl walks towards Vlad, and Vlad puts down the picture frame and also walks towards Karl for them to meet halfway. They have this giddy smile on their faces and for a while they were just staring at each other. Until both of their faces start to get closer and just as you think they’d go in for a kiss, they hugged. Both of them smiling, looking comforted and relieved. One thing of note as well is seeing them brush their hands up and down each other’s backs to hug tighter. Tahanan continues to play and the camera moves in circle around them (this scene is a nod to GOT 2 BELIEVE), until we settle back to Vlad standing alone in the living room, and what he was hugging was the picture frame and not Karl.

I am specifically in love with the part of the song that Pat Lasaten chose for the moment when Karl came in. I’m sorry I don’t know much about music, but I am referring specifically to timestamp 22:39 to 23:02. The main song kind of took a bit of a stepback and there was what sounded like a saxophone solo (?) that accentuates it. That was pretty genius because it really moves the scene. It highlights the magical feeling of Vlad finally finding Karl’s face in the midst of the song – someone who he wants to be together with. Extra painful though that after all that music swelling, you end up with a shot of him hugging a picture frame.

I agree with Justine when she said during the Friday night Banlaw sesh that she likes that they went in for a hug instead of a kiss right away. It feels more intimate and more sincere. It feels more sensual. Also, it fits the current pace of Karl and Vlad’s story because these are two people still discovering each other. It also hits different because hugging a person means offering comfort. In Karl and Vlad’s case, it highlights their thing of finding homes in each other. In Episode 03, Karl offered Vlad a home by giving him back the key. In that moment, Vlad accepted it because it was already attached back to his keychain. But in this episode, and through this hug, we see Vlad fully embracing that this is now his home. He isn’t just accepting the key to come and go as he pleases. He now wants to stay there.

The shot of Vlad hugging the frame always gets to me. Amazing camerawork and good music timing. I cannot watch it without crying because the feeling of loneliness really felt raw and palpable. This, and the hug, made everyone soft and fragile while watching the episode last night.

Being alone together

Vlad wakes up the next morning with a different set of clothes. All of the Christmas decorations are gone but we see balloons and an entire HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner hanging. He looks around a bit and when he turned towards the kitchen, Karl was there standing with a stack of pancakes. This time, it’s not a dream.

Both of them looked sheepish the entire time. Vlad was obviously touched and was even apologetic about bothering Karl the other night. Meanwhile, Karl joked and called him “Mr. Jockstrap” because of the switcheroo that happened with his gift and Sue’s. Vlad asks him what happened to the Christmas decors, and Karl just said “meh” and imitated Vlad’s “Jesus is too forgiving to be a Capricorn.”

The entire thing was just adorable. They were just smiling throughout, and Karl told Vlad to finally blow the candle on the pancake stack to make a wish. We don’t know what the wish was, and I’m not even sure we’ll ever know. Gege mentioned that he told Ian to make a personal wish for both him and Pao during the scene.

As usual, Karl and Vlad settled on the floor with chips and soda to watch a film. This time though, Vlad is not watching the film because he’s watching Karl. Vlad watches Karl dip his chips on the soda before eating it. As always, Karl gets so absorbed with the film, almost in tears now, as he mindlessly eats a huge piece of chip much to Vlad’s amusement. At one point, they both reached for the bowl and their hands grazed each other. Karl momentarily looked at Vlad’s direction, and so does Vlad towards Karl – but Vlad’s look lingered and a small smile forms across his face. It was his aha moment, I suppose.

I find it pretty amazing that both Karl and Vlad understood their feelings in a sort of unexpected way because it was so… mundane and normal. For a show that has a lot of these big moments, it sure takes a quiet approach when it comes to feelings and I love that. Because it is so quiet, you don’t really notice it creeping inside your heart. It kind of just fills you in until it’s completely embracing you and you understand it, right then and there, that well, I guess this is it.

Apparently, it’s not really about washing the dishes. It’s really about the good they do for each other every day. Nothing felt more apparent to Vlad than Karl’s absence. The law of proximity builds familiarity and in those short few days, Vlad did not just get used to Karl being around, he yearns for it. I could say the same for Karl, too, seeing as he rushed home to prepare all these things for Vlad. But for now, both of them do not know it yet.

To reference the Wattpad screenplay, all this time Karl thinks that he was the only one waiting for Vlad to look back. But, who knows, maybe Vlad was waiting for Karl to look back, too?

Epilogue

In the last three episodes, it was always Vlad moving closer towards the couch. Karl was always seated at a specific side, not moving at all, but he would always throw glances towards Vlad. This time though, we find Karl seated on the floor beside Vlad.

The episode ends with a powerful quote yet again, “kapag may tinuro sa’yo ang pag-iisa, yakapin mo.”

Comments; Ramblings

It’s funny how Episode 03 launched a friendly bardagulan on Twitter between Vlad Austria Apologists (VAA) and the Vlad Austria Fault-Finding Committee (VAFFC). But the truth is, both Karl and Vlad are the actual clowns for each other and we’re just here to witness them fall in love and watch their connection go deeper.

Personally, in terms of a solid episode, my favourite is still Episode 03 because it had all these elements that moved the story along and built up to that amazing Selos ending. It was something else. However, Episode 04 was the one that made me feel the most (so far). I had a hard time processing it after watching it the first time and unlike the last three episodes, I could not rewatch it right away. I mostly just felt weak and I might have cried a little. Maybe because it reminded me so much of what it is like to fall in love – that indeed love is still a beautiful thing. Sometimes we use being alone as a defense mechanism to feel less alone, but at the end of the day we also crave for someone we can go home to. Karl and Vlad’s feelings continue to unravel and that makes me think about how, as we fall in love, we also discover a lot about ourselves.

To me, this is what’s happening with Karl and Vlad. As they learn more about each other, they also discover a lot of things that they don’t know they’re capable of. They find themselves doing things they never thought they will ever do or feeling things they thought they’ll never feel again. I’m curious how they’ll really meet halfway. For now, I think Vlad is more of the type of person who needs to confirm with himself first if he truly feels romantically for someone before he takes action or shows these soft and caring side of him. Meanwhile, Karl seems like the type to act first before thinking about why he does these things. Maybe it’s just the way he is – a pure-hearted good person. I just hope he’s ready to answer the question when it gets asked.

For now, I appreciate this slowburn.

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Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel. Please only stream it legally!

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 01 Review [x]

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 02 Review [x]

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 03 Review [x]

#gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #pangpang #paolo pangilinan #ian pangilinan #pinoy bl #filipino web series #filipino bl #boys love #juan miguel severo #jp habac #gsp review #owned #(nakaka-fragile na episode)

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: The Perfect Date

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: There's trouble in paradise for you and Ben but will the distance bring about some revelations? And what does it mean for your romantic reunion?

Warnings: The usual fairly innocent stuff, some swearing and drinking and mentions of smoking, but with the additions of PDAs out the wazoo, public make out, private make out.

Words: 8093

A/N: Things get a lil spicy in this one! Small disclaimer that I don’t drink so I have no idea what wine does to someone, or two someones who split a bottle. Also just another reminder that this was in no way inspired by rumours regarding Ben’s rl relationship with Olivia Cooke. I believe they’re legit, and I will not engage with anyone about that topic.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff

You headed straight to the bathroom and threw up. Ben had called twice on your way home, but you’d let it go to voicemail, not ready to hear him admonish you for eavesdropping on him or to be asked if you felt the same. You supposed it was adrenaline or something that was making you feel nauseous. Of course, you’d have to talk to him eventually, at least to apologise for going so off book, but it could wait until you weren’t feeling so miserable. With teary eyes, you made your way to the kitchen, grabbed a drink to help settle your stomach, and then flopped onto the couch to flick through TV channels until you found something distracting enough. Your phone rang again but when you glanced at the screen it wasn’t Ben’s name you saw. “Mary?” If she heard any evidence of your distress in your voice she didn’t mention it, “Brilliant performance Y/N. The video was tweeted out about ten minutes after you left the restaurant and it’s already been shared more than you’d believe.” “Oh, that’s good.” “Better than good. People are eating it up. There’ll be articles tomorrow predicting your breakup and not just the ones we’ve organised. We’re going to ask that you and Ben refrain from seeing each other in public for the next two weeks or so, make it look like you’re taking some time apart. That’ll give the video plenty of time to circulate and allow us to get out a few variations of the trouble in paradise story. Of course, you’re free to visit each other and speak over the phone but be wary in case other paparazzi start following you in addition to the one’s we’ve hired. Chances are more people will be looking to scoop the official breakup story if all goes as well as these early numbers indicate it will. Then we’ll hit them with the romantic makeup dinner at Boucher. And after that it’s back to playing the happy couple. Of course there’ll be the press junket and premiere in a couple of months’ time and then we can break you up for good.” She kept talking about plans for he press tour, something about flights and hotels, but you stopped paying attention, already getting twitter open and searching for the video. It didn’t take long to find it, the caption proclaiming he who’d caught the footage had noticed you and Ben arrive and had pulled out his camera as soon as he realised things weren’t particularly happy. “Sorry, Mary, I’m gonna have to call you back.” “Everything alright?” “Yeah, just a small mishap with the washing machine. I’ll talk to you later.” As soon as she was gone you pressed play on the video. Filmed from a table to the left of yours and slightly behind your shoulder, the phone tipped at an angle so it wouldn’t be spotted. Your heart pounded as you watched. It was all there, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife as Ben tried to draw you into conversation. You heard the bite in your tone, the confusion in his. And you saw what you’d not noticed in the moment. The way his face fell when you said it was too much. The way his nails dug into his palm as he clutched his fork so tightly. The hurt on his face when you called him clingy and needy. He stood up as you walked away but he didn’t follow, just dragged his hand through his hair and then sat down heavily, worrying at his thumbnail with his teeth. The waiter came over, presumably with the bill but the video cut out before anything more was said. They’d got what they wanted. They didn’t need the aftermath.

The next day there was an unexpected knock on your door. You put down your phone where you were watching the video again and peeked out the window, worried that it was Ben come to confront you. Instead you saw Felicity raise her fist and knock again. “I saw the video,” was the first thing she said when you let her in, “are you okay?” “I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m fine.” “You had a straight up cat fight in the middle of a restaurant, and there are paparazzi practically camping in your front yard, you’re not fine.” “Okay, maybe not fine fine. But it’s whatever. How many are out there?” “Three. But what happened? Last week you told me you weren’t going to break up.” “We haven’t broken up.” “Well then what was that?” “I don’t know. It’s been building for a bit I guess. He’s just more serious about it all than I am.” “So I heard. Are you sure you aren’t just panicking?” “Panicking about what?” “Well, y’know, you’ve been in the tabloids a bit lately. That must put a strain on things. Maybe you just got a little freaked out by it and pushed Ben away rather than let yourself be vulnerable,” “What are you my shrink?” “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” “Yeah well, you’re wrong. The paps are kind of annoying but they aren’t the problem. The problem…” you took a breath as you considered what was safe to say, “the problem is that Ben has been on a different page to me for a while now. I think we both just need some space.” “Okay, if that’s what you want to go with,” she clearly didn’t believe you, “Have you talked to him about it?” “Not yet. Figured I’d call back sometime today when my head was clearer.” She nodded, “Well, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Moral support when you call him or someone to bitch to afterwards or just somebody to get drunk with.” She pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight and for a moment you felt like you might cry. All you could think about was Ben’s expression when you walked out, how wounded he looked.

Felicity stayed with you for the rest of the day which was good because her presence stopped you from doing nothing but watching the video over and over again. As it was you found it hard to keep yourself from looking at the comments people left on it. A lot of people took Ben’s side, calling you a bitch or worse, sometimes even direct messaging you their opinions. But there were also those lampooning Ben for smothering you, some going so far as to claim they were early signs of manipulative and controlling tendencies and that he deserved the public humiliation of it all. Those were the comments that made you feel worst. Being called a cunt you could deal with. Being told Ben deserved better you could easily deal with. But seeing such horrible suggestions of Ben being thrown about made your heart ache. He wasn’t mean or manipulative. He’d been nothing but kind to everyone on set and especially to you. Any lingering annoyance that hadn’t left you along with the little you’d eaten seemed to melt away, leaving you feeling cold at the thought of what you’d said. Yes he’d been stupid and selfish to agree to pretend to date you when he actually had a crush on you. But not once had he tried to wheedle a confession of love from you, not once had he pushed himself onto you. He’d always been respectful of your boundaries, warned you before he kissed you, asked if you wanted to share a blanket rather than just assume you did. Even your rules he’d mostly stuck to. The one exception being the cutesy nickname, but you’d never put up much of a fight with that. You only knew that he felt something for you because you’d listened in to a private conversation. And really, could you blame him for developing feelings? You’d literally been cast as lovers because you had good chemistry and then you’d spent weeks getting even closer, made all the more necessary by your fake romance. He was hardly the first person in history to have his on-screen feelings transfer to real life. And surely, if he’d decided to tell his friend everything, even after signing contractual documents about keeping it secret, then he must be serious about you, about how much he liked you. Maybe you had it wrong. Maybe there was something there you hadn’t consi-. “Stop wallowing,” Felicities voice cut through your thoughts, “Put the phone down and stop thinking about Ben for five minutes.” You shook your head to clear it, “I’m not wallowing.” “Are you on twitter right now?” “Maybe,” “You’re wallowing. C’mon, give me the phone.” She held out her hand, giving you had no choice but to hand it over. “Has anyone ever told you you’d make a good teacher,” “Once or twice. You can have this,” she brandished your phone at you and then shoved it into her bag, “back when you’re ready to call Ben. Until then we are getting out of the house.” “Out of the house where?” you asked, letting her pull you from your seat. “Just out. You need some fresh air. Go on, get your shoes.” “Alright, alright, I’m going,” you said, with the first genuine chuckle you’d had in days.

You ended up at the park a street over, sitting on a bench overlooking the duckpond. One or two of the photographers followed you, but they were easy to ignore. As soon as you stopped moving your mind was back on the previous night, but Felicity must have sensed as much for she quickly blurted out a fun fact about ducks to distract you. For the rest of the time you were there she kept your mind on other things. She gave you an extended rundown on all the gossip from her workplace. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know who Derick was, you soon heard all about his tryst with the copy boy, and when you asked if the Susie M who was mentioned was the same Susie M that made out with the boss at last year’s Christmas party you heard all about the fallout from her drunk misstep. Felicity led you on a stroll around the pond as you laughed at her stories and filled her in on what you were hoping your next role would be. “I’ve been sent a couple of interesting scripts. There’s one for a sci fi time travel thing which I’m hoping to get a call back for. And there was one for a comedy about a coven of witches causing mayhem with their potions. I’m only about halfway through the script but I’d happily play any of the three lead witches, so I think I’ll have a crack at it.” “They both sound really good. Different to your last role.” “Yeah. Different’s good though.” Eventually you wound your way towards a small coffee shop opposite the far side of the park. The slice of apple tea cake you ordered was the first food you’d eaten since the few bites at dinner and Felicity didn’t let you leave until you’d finished it, though she was subtle in her insistence. When you put your fork down with food still left on the plate she ordered a second coffee for each of you which gave you little to do but keep eating. You thanked her after but she pretended not to know what you were talking about. It wasn’t until you got home again that she returned your phone. “You should call Ben,” “Do I have to?” “Stop pouting and do it. You’re cute together and you obviously love him. Just suck it up and talk to him.” You let out a heavy sigh and then took the phone back, refraining from rolling your eyes at how wrong she was about your feelings.

You headed out onto the back patio and, with some slight trepidation, called Ben. The call rang out. With a frown you headed back inside only to be greeted by Felicity making chicken noises. “I didn’t chicken out, he just didn’t pick up. He must be busy.” “Or he’s upset. Call back. You can come in after he’s not picked up three times or you’ve had a chat.” “Okay, I’ll try again, jeez,” you went back outside and shut the door behind you. Your second attempt was as unsuccessful as your first and you were just about to hang up on the third try when he picked up. “Hello?” “Hi Ben,” “Y/N,” there was none of the joy in his voice that usually accompanied your name. “Can we talk, is now a good time?” “Yeah,” “Okay, I just, uh, I wasn’t sure since you didn’t pick up straight away.” “Well I wouldn’t want to come across as more needy than I already do.” “I shouldn’t have said that,” you leaned against the wall of the house in the same spot you’d seen Ben lean countless times after you’d told him he couldn’t smoke inside, “I’m so so sorry about everything I said.” “It’s not what you said, Y/N. I get it, we had to fight and you let loose. From an acting perspective I’m actually really fucking impressed. I, uh, I might have watched the video when I got home, just once, and it looks legit. Like, that line about pretending to love me as much as I do you.” You held your breath, waiting for him to ask how you knew. “I mean, that’s exactly what we were going for anyway, just without the details of not having met each other’s families. Everyone still heard us argue about moving at different paces and it was some really great improvisation.” “You think so?” “Yeah absolutely. I don’t think I could have come up with a line like that on the fly. Seriously, if we were allowed to tell people it was fake, that would have fit well on your audition reel.” “So you’re not upset with me?” There was a pause as Ben thought about his next words. “Not upset exactly. Like I said, I get that it was a scene. But the way you sounded when you called me clingy….it was pretty clear there were some real feelings in there too and I,” Ben sighed, “I just wish you’d talk to me about how you were feeling beforehand.” “I didn’t really know how.” “But if I’d known that I was making you uncomfortable or coming across as clingy I would have pulled back. I could have texted less or crashed at your place less often. Not insisted on buying you books on our fake dates.” You scuffed your foot against the ground, not sure whether to come clean about overhearing him. You’d expected Ben to have realised by now that you knew, not to take what you’d said as some incredible performance. “I know I got kinda caught up in it all though,” he said before you could summon the courage to admit anything, “I, um, I really like…” You could feel your heart racing, convinced he was about to confess his feelings for you, completely unsure how to react. “…being someone’s boyfriend.” “Oh,” Why was he so determined to surprise you? Why did you feel disappointed? “It suits me. I like having someone to dote on and take care of and talk to and I guess it’s been a while since I properly, seriously dated anyone. I feel like I’ve got all this boyfriend energy stored up and nowhere for it to go. It comes in handy when we’re pretending to be on a date or whatever but sometimes it slips out when we’re just hanging out as friends, without the cameras and all that. Which isn’t an excuse or anything, I’m not trying to undermine any discomfort you felt.” “No, I get it.” “You do?” “Yeah. I mean, we said it was a weird situation right back when it was first pitched to us. That hasn’t really changed, has it?” “No,” he said with a small, soft chuckle, “still weird.” “Exactly. And sometimes I think it can be kind of confusing.” “Confusing?” You had a sudden mental image of a dog with pricked up ears, “Confusing’s maybe the wrong word. Hard to keep up with is I guess what I’m trying to say. It’s different to acting in love with someone on a movie because on a movie there’s a definite time span. The director calls cut and you can stop pretending. But we don’t get that cut. Even when there’s no cameras we’re still faking it for the people we know and anyone who might see us,” you glanced inside to make sure Felicity wasn’t listening in. “Do you think that’s why you didn’t know how to talk to me? Because there’s no clear line between Y/N and Ben as friends and Y/N and Ben as a couple.” “Maybe,” you shrugged, “I don’t think it helps.” “Yeah. It’s like, obviously there are times when we have to be all coupley and I guess it gets hard to say when something is uncomfortable because then it’s like what about next time we’re out and we have to do that thing anyway. And there are things I’m happy to do with my friends that I don’t think twice about but might carry extra meaning in our situation.” “Exactly. I don’t want to say I don’t like something and make you feel bad when we then have to do it because people are watching.” “So what are you suggesting then?” “Well, we aren’t allowed to see each other in public for a couple of weeks now, right? So maybe this could be a chance for us to take a break. Not in a completely cut off way, I still wanna talk to you and stuff. But if we give ourselves some space, y’know. Try and shake….excess feelings a-and work out our boundaries better.” “Sure, yeah, I can see how that would help.” “It’s just a couple of weeks and like we can still text or call or whatever we just wouldn’t hang out together and it wouldn’t be every day.” “Y/N, I get it. It’s a good idea.” You took a deep breath, “Okay. Cool. Um, so we’re good?” “Of course we are. I-” Ben seemed to stop himself from saying something, instead sighing, “We’re good,” “Good.” There was nothing else to stay but you didn’t want to hang up. Neither did Ben, it seemed, both of you just standing in silence. You could hear faint music playing on his end, like it was coming from another room. Maybe he was in his kitchen, leaning against the bench, the radio on in the next room over. Or maybe he was sitting on his couch, the TV down low so the repetitive game music wouldn’t disturb your conversation. You could see him so clearly, sitting in his usual seat, controller abandoned beside him. You wondered if he could tell where you were. “I guess I should go then,” He said softly, “I’ll talk to you soon.” “Bye Ben,” “Bye cud- Y/N.”

“How’d it go?” Felicity asked when you came back inside. “Alright. We’re gonna take a break from seeing each other so much and sort out how we feel and stuff.” “That sounds good,” “Yeah,” you felt relieved at having had the conversation but it was mixed with a weird sadness you couldn’t put your finger on, making you feel vaguely like you wanted to be sick again. “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit. I’ll hang out and then tonight we can order pizza and watch cat videos or vine compilations or something dumb like that.” “You don’t have to stay, I’m fine.” “Hun, I’m staying. Maybe I’ll take a run to the shop, pick up some ice cream and booze and face masks. Sound fun?” “Definitely,” “Alrighty then, it’s a plan.” You felt slightly cheered by the thought as you made your way to your room and fell onto the bed, not bothering to change or move the covers, but it didn’t stop room from blurring with tears as soon as you were alone.

Keeping the distance between you and Ben was a mixed bag. On one hand not seeing each other meant there was no lingering pressure of another date or photo opportunity weighing on you. But on the other it also meant a queue of TV shows you felt unable to watch since you’d started them together. You didn’t have to worry that Ben would suddenly call you or rock up on your doorstep, unable to keep his affections to himself any longer. But you also missed out on random messages asking if you could remember that song (“you know the one it was from the early 2000s. Went something like…,”) or the way he’d chuck popcorn at you from the other side of the couch until you managed to catch some in your mouth. It gave you a chance to relax without worrying you were leading him on, or that you’d say the wrong thing, or that the rules you’d come up with would be broken. But that was because you barely spoke to him. Your communication was kept to text messages whenever something big happened and not much more. Ben sent you a message when he got a call back for one of the movies he’d auditioned for. You texted him when your neighbour’s dog had puppies, partly because they’d asked if you knew anyone who could adopt one when it was a little bigger, but partly because the second you saw the babies you thought of how much he’d love them. And yes, you were sleeping better without so much pressure and anxiety, but it hadn’t stopped Ben from appearing in your dreams and even daydreams, explicitly so more often than you were willing to admit. Then of course there was the bombardment of emails from family and friends checking in on you after they’d seen the video. It got so out of hand you’d had to make a rare post on your private Facebook account letting them know things were fine, just to get them to stop harassing you. But you couldn’t stop the harassment you were getting from strangers on all your other social media pages. You got into the bad habit of checking all the big gossip mag websites for stories about you, following them with as much fervour as any fan might. Ben must have had some paparazzi taking up residence on his street too because you saw countless pictures of Ben going about his day – out with friends, walking to Tesco, smoking outside a pub. And every time there was some story attached either about how heartbroken he was or about how he was sneaking off to meet you in private. You coped the same treatment, though sometimes with the added twist of announcing you were pregnant. All it did was make you wish you could have a hug from Ben and talk about it with him. You came very close to buying a pack of cigarettes one day, just so you could burn one and have its scent linger around your house like Ben had brought it in with him. Felicity was brilliant. She found amusement in the unfamiliar photographers, especially when an article appeared with photos of you and her hugging on your doorstep, speculating you’d moved on from Ben already. It wasn’t so surprising that she’d snuck her way into the magazines she so loved to read considering she checked in on you a lot in the first few days. But, as much as you loved her, and as much as she made you laugh, she had her own job and partner to think about and she couldn’t quite grasp what was happening the same way Ben could have. You missed him more than you thought you would, even with all the baggage from his unrequited crush. So much so that the realisation your makeup date was approaching had you grinning as you made your morning coffee, humming the song from his mug.

It was a surprise, though not an unpleasant one, to hear your phone ringing at close to nine the night before the date. You were sitting in bed playing solitaire on your laptop when your ringtone interrupted. Ben was apologetic as he greeted you, repeatedly saying sorry for calling at all. “It’s okay Ben, I really don’t mind.” You said, putting the laptop aside and relaxing back against the pillows. “Are you sure? I should have just emailed you.” “Ben, stop. I’m glad you called. I’ve missed hearing your voice.” “You have?” “Of course I have. I spent two and a bit months doing nothing but listen to you blab, you really think I’d just forget you?” You could hear his smile when he continued, “I’ve missed talking to you too. I figured this would be a good excuse.” “This being?” “Tomorrow night. Peter said he’d send you the info.” “Of course, yeah I got his email. Tomorrow night, meeting at Boucher at seven.” “Yup, that’s the info.” “I was told to dress up and be prepared to smooch.” “Did he say smooch?” “No,” you laughed, “His phrasing sounded a lot stuffier and careful not to create a lawsuit, but I figured that’s what he meant.” “Yeah, um, you’re okay with that?” “Absolutely. It’s a makeup dinner and we’re going to be together for another couple of months so we should play up the romance and the um, physicality and all that.” You tried to ignore the sudden warmth in your cheeks and the memory of your last dream. “Okay, good because I was specifically told about what happens when we leave the restaurant.” “Hmmm I think I remember something about that but again, stuffy non-lawsuit language. Kinda hard to follow at times.” “Basically they want us to make out while we wait for an Uber. Like, proper make out.” “Oh,” “I told them neither of us are public make out people but they’re insisting they need it. Something about it being an obvious indication of getting back together or whatever. And technically we agreed to it when we signed up for this whole thing.” “Thanks for the heads up.” “No worries. Glad I called now, wouldn’t have wanted to just spring that on you. But um, that’s it really, I’ll let you get back to your last night of peace.” “Wait,” you blurted without having anything else to say. “Yeah?” “Ummm, oh! Did you hear anything more about that movie?” “Not yet but Peter said they’re still in talks. Hopefully soon.” “What’s it about?” “It’s an actiony thriller thing. This guy, the role I auditioned for, witnesses a murder and then gets dragged into this revenge mission. I’d get to shoot some big guns and drive a cool car and y’know save the girl, all that stuff.” “Sounds fun,” “Yeah, what about you, any auditions?” “One or two but nothing’s come of them. I sent my reel in for this supernatural comedy about a coven of witches. Too soon to know anything though.” “Well I hope you get it,” “Yeah, likewise.” “Thanks.” You were forcefully reminded of your last conversation when you both lapsed into silence again, neither of you making any move to hang up. You wanted to keep talking but part of you was worried that if you used up all your conversation topics now, you’d have nothing to talk about over dinner tomorrow, and if that happened you were bound to blurt out something you shouldn’t. Instead you just savoured the sound of Ben’s breaths and the odd rustle of clothing as he shifted around. Once again he was the one to break the silence. “Well, as lovely as it has been to chat, I should go. Gotta get a good night sleep so I’m ready to woo you tomorrow.” “You’re not going to bed yet are you? It’s so early,” “I was gonna read or something for a bit actually.” “Have you finished that show we started?” “Which one?” “Any of them? “No. Figured they could wait.” “You wanna watch one now?” “What, over the phone?” “Yeah, we can try to time it so it plays at the same time.” “Uh, sure, why not,” You quickly grabbed your laptop and, after some discussion of which show you were more in the mood for, found the right episode. There was laughter on both ends of the line as you attempted to hit play at the same time, counting down from three between giggles. It took you a few tries but you eventually got them to sync up, more or less. It felt nice to hear Ben’s laughter again, his voice when he sang along with the soundtrack, his comments about the nitty gritty of the production side – odd line deliveries and angles of shots. He was easy to talk to. Though with everything that had happened, everything you knew, just the act of talking to him set off butterflies in your stomach.

It took you well over an hour to get ready for the date. You’d been told to go all out so that’s exactly what you did. With a little help from Felicity so you could get away with a calming pre dinner drink. She gave you a hand choosing an outfit – a dress, short but not too short, classy but eye catching. It had started life as a dress for a movie premiere but after a few years the top didn’t fit quite right so you’d had it altered, the skirt was taken up, cut off and attached to a new top that more suited your current style, leaving you with a slightly shorter and much more you outfit. Glass of Prosecco close to hand, Felicity worked on your hair and offered advice on your makeup. When you were finished and could reveal the full look to her, she squealed. “You’re absolutely going to get laid.” “Shut up. I look alright though? Lipstick’s not too dark?” “Honey, you look gorgeous. I swear, you’re gonna get dicked down in the bathroom of that fancy as fuck restaurant because he’s not gonna be able to keep his hands off you.” You burst out laughing, “Good to know. Not exactly the plan for the evening but at least I’m prepared now.” “What is your plan?” “I don’t really have one, which is not helping me stay calm. I guess just find out if he’s still interested in me. And then work out where we go from there. We talked last night and that was good but I just need to know if he’s, you know, still into me.” “He’s head over heels for you, that won’t have changed. The question is, do you love him?” You wanted to say no but obviously couldn’t so you settled for a soft, “I’ve have missed him.” She hummed with an annoyingly knowing look. “I should be going, the Uber’ll be here soon.” Felicity pulled you into a hug, “Knock him dead, Y/N,” and then, as an afterthought added, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “You first hooked up with your girlfriend because some drunk guy told you he’d buy you both drinks if you made out. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.” Felicity laughed, “That was just a free drink, imagine what I’d do if there was a fancy French dinner involved.”

You arrived before Ben did. A quick glance up and down the street told you he wasn’t approaching just yet, so you opened your clutch to give yourself something to think about other than the sound of snapping cameras. Phone, lipstick, tissues, compact mirror, three condoms. You laughed to yourself when you saw them and made a mental note to lie about how useful they were when you next saw Felicity. Quick footsteps caught your attention and you looked up in time to see Ben running towards you. “Sorry, I’m late,” he said between breaths, pressing a kiss to your cheek as soon as he was within reach, “My Uber got caught in traffic and I had to make a stop,” He held out a small bouquet of flowers in a variety of pinks, purples and yellows. “For me?” “No for the other girl I’m seeing, of course for you. You like them?” “They’re beautiful,” you took the bouquet and breathed in its sweet scent. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” he stopped babbling with a pained expression on his face, for once more visibly nervous than you. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy. Now you have to carry them around all night, what was I thinking? And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” You couldn’t help but laugh as he scrunched his nose up and ran his hand through his hair, unintentionally endearing, “Calm down, Ben, we’ve done this before.” “I know,” “Let’s just go inside, further away from these cameras, and have a drink, sound good? “God yes,” he nodded and let you lead him through the door up to the hostess stand, managing to pull himself together enough to give her the name of the booking. As expected, she told you to wait in the bar until a table was ready.

Ben downed his first drink in one hit. It made you wonder how hard he was finding it to be around you. Had the space helped him quiet his feeling for you? Or had it just made him want you more? Was that why he seemed so out of sorts, stumbling over his words in a way that was so unlike him. You desperately wanted to find out where he stood but it was impossible without giving yourself away. What you needed was for him to make another phone call you could overhear but the likelihood of that happening was slim. You’d just have to put it from your mind for now. “Better?” You asked Ben as he caught the barman’s attention and ordered a second drink. “Getting there,” He took the new glass and drank, just a sip this time, “You look stunning by the way. I should have said it earlier,” “Thank you, you look very handsome,” He glanced down at the suit he was wearing, “Thanks.” A somewhat awkward silence followed. “So,” you said, louder than necessary, desperate to get him talking like he normally did lest you start to freak out too, “You been here before?” “No. Never even heard of it before Mary and Peter mentioned it. You?” “Same.” You looked around the room, searching for something else to talk about, “Nice though.” “Yeah, yeah, really swanky.” “Bit different from the painting thing,” “Yeah, very. Look I need to tell you someth-” “Mr Hardy? Your table is ready,” You smiled at the hostess, as he thanked her, and followed her towards a table for two, setting your bouquet down to the side. Ben smiled at you from across the table. “You were saying?” you asked, apprehensive and curious. “Oh, um, nothing, doesn’t matter. We’ve got a date to focus on.” “Wouldn’t want all these prying eyes to miss anything,” “Exactly. Cuddle bunny,” You smiled at the nickname despite its ridiculousness and leaned forward in your seat slightly, letting your fingers gently rest against the back of his hand. If he wanted to focus on the date and putting on a good show for the public then that was something you could do, “Babe.” The flush you’d seen creep onto Ben’s face before appeared again and he reached for his glass once more. “So, how have you been?” you asked, pulling your hand back towards you. He looked at its retreat and then back at your eyes, “Good. Got to hang out with the boys a few times last week which was really good.” “Beat them at any more video games?” “They won’t let me anywhere near FIFA at the moment,” “Discrimination,” “That’s what I tried to tell them!” he laughed, seeming to relax a little more, “bunch of babies.” “What about that trip thing you were organising, have you sorted that out?” “Not entirely. It’s with my friend Joe who lives in the States. He was going to come out here but we decided it wasn’t worth it since I’ll be over there soon anyway.” “You will?” “Well both of us will be. Part of the press stuff for The Perfect Match.” “Oh, right, of course,” you giggled and tucked your hair behind your ear. “He’s looking forward to meeting you though.” “I bet he is,” you said automatically. Of course he’d be keen to meet the woman his friend was infatuated with, you would be too. Ben gave you a questioning look but you covered well enough, “I mean, he’d obviously know about us dating so I assume he’d be curious to meet your girlfriend. Especially if we’re having public spats and stuff.” “Right, yeah, definitely. What about you? What’s been happening?”

From there you fell into your usual style of conversation, both of you relaxing more as the night wore on and the bottle of wine you ordered grew emptier. The only difference from normal was the romance of it all, played up as much as possible. Brushing hands as you both reached for the salt, soft smiles and laughs. You even went so far as to twirl a strand of hair around your finger like some love struck teenybopper in a soap opera. When your food arrived you let Ben feed you a bite off his fork. You offered a taste of your meal in return and he held your wrist as he leaned in. A gesture that left you breathless, blinking at him as he slowly withdrew his hand. The wine’s fault probably. You’d polished off the bottle by the time dessert arrived, on top of the drinks you’d had before you sat down. It made you feel looser and you assumed the same of Ben, judging by how different his demeanour was to the nervous, stuttering one he’d had when he showed up. Perhaps that was why, with a spoonful of chocolate mousse halfway to his mouth and no regard for the conversation you were having, he suddenly said, “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” “Uh, yeah, what d’you want to know?” “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” You thought for a moment, putting down your own spoon, “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” He smiled at that, looking down at his dessert like he was trying to hide it, “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” “Like…um, the thing I said on the phone about enjoying playing the boyfriend. I like having someone special to share things with,” He sighed, “But that’s…not relevant right now. Do you want to get out of here?” You were a little taken aback by the suddenness of the suggestion but agreed, reapplying your lipstick for the cameras while the waiter collected your bill.

Ben wrapped his arm around your waist once you were outside, pulling you close. With the pretext on planting a kiss on your temple he quietly asked if you were ready for the next part. “Lay it on me,” you giggled, feeling warm and light. A second later his hand was sliding down your side towards your bum which set off another wave of giggles. He kept you close as you walked down the street, oblivious to the flash of cameras. Ben kept his arm around you, using the other to open the app and order a car. You stopped when you reached a quiet bus stop, Ben letting you go to sit down, tapping the spot beside him. But his hand wasn’t gone for long, instead moving to cup your cheek as he pulled you into a kiss. “I missed doing that,” he muttered but you were more focused on making it happen again, shifting yourself closer, laying your hand against him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His heart was pounding under your palm, but it matched the beat against your own chest. You’d forgotten how good he was at kissing but it came flooding back as you opened your lips for him, felt his tongue against yours. His hand was firm on your back, pulling you in but still not close enough. You whined, let him pull you onto his lap, pressed yourself against him, one hand in his hair so he wouldn’t stop kissing you. His hands were everywhere, on your arms and back and squeezing your arse, holding you in place as you arched your back slightly and kissed him harder. A car horn right beside you made you pull away, startled. “Ben?” The older man asked, looking down at their phone, “I’m here to pick you up.” “Shit,” Ben said softly, and then to the driver, “Sorry, yes, that’s us.” You let your head fall forward onto his shoulder for a second, smothering your laughter. “C’mon cuddle bunny,” he said softly, “they’ve had enough of a show.” Your legs felt unsteady as you stood and smoothed your skirt down. Ben opened the back door for you and followed you inside. “So sorry about that,” he said again to the driver. He just laughed, “It’s alright. I remember being your age and completely smitten. You’re that couple I’ve seen online, right?” “Uh, yes, that’d be us, I think” “Well if you wanna keep making out I won’t stop you. Might have to tweet about it though.” Ben laughed, “Thanks but I think we can hold off for a bit.” You looked over at Ben and had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing too loud when you saw the lipstick smudged over Ben’s face. “What is it?” Still laughing you handed ben your compact mirror and the pack of tissues from your clutch. “Christ,” he said softly, “The internet’s going to fucking love this.”

The Uber driver left you at the end of Ben’s driveway with a wink and a have fun. There were paparazzi waiting for you so you grabbed Ben’s hand and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He led you inside, refusing to let go of your hand even while trying to dig his keys from the opposite pocket. Once you were inside, you placed your slightly bruised bouquet on the hall stand, leaned against the closed door and began taking your shoes off. Normally, after being out together and winding up at Ben’s place, you’d head straight to the bathroom to take off your makeup. He’d go and fetch two glasses of water if you’d been drinking or maybe something warm if the night was cool. You’d change into the pyjamas you kept at his place and then join him in the lounge room, sometimes tucking yourselves under the same blanket, to watch TV until you were yawning and struggling to stay awake. And then you’d wish each other good night and head to your separate rooms. But this time something felt different. You kicked your shoes to the side of the hallway and stayed against the door, watching as Ben pulled his wallet from his pocket, dropping it and his keys next to your flowers. He slowly turned towards you, taking a step closer. And you knew you should move, should dodge around him, make a joke about not needing to take off your makeup since he’d already done it for you but you found yourself stepping towards him too. There was a beat as you both realised how close you were. You heard Ben swallow, watched his eyes move to your lips unashamedly. Later, when you were lying in the dark wondering what the fuck had happened, you’d tell yourself it was the wine. A brief impairment of judgement exacerbated by months of celibacy and an easily suggestable brain. Whether you believed it was another question.

You closed the gap but he was only a second behind, hand back on your waist as his other found your jaw. You wrapped your arms around his neck, let him slowly walk you through the house towards the living room you where you’d spent so many nights joking around. He didn’t stop kissing you while you stumbled through the house, not unless he had to and even then he never went far, his breath hot against your lips. You pushed him down onto the couch and straddled his lap, continuing what had been interrupted, his hands falling back to your arse, pushing up your skirt, squeezing, as you tugged on his hair, making him groan. A single rational thought was trapped in the back of your mind, trying to breakthrough but it was hard to think when Ben was holding you like that, kissing you like that, especially after so long without being touched at all. He broke away to mouth at your throat and it was only then that you had enough time to think clearly. “Wait,” you said softly and then again more insistently. “What is it?” “What are we doing? We can’t,” “Why not?” You shook your head, and pushed yourself off of him, taking a couple of steps back, “It’s rule one Ben,” “We wouldn’t even have to break rule one though, we can just stay here on the couch. No harm in making out if we’ve already done it.” A whine caught in your throat and you took an extra half step back to keep from rushing into his arms again, more rational thoughts pushing through the broken wall and joining the first. You shouldn’t, not if there was any chance Ben still had a crush on you. It wouldn’t be fair. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” You shook your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” “Of course I know that,” “Really? Because sometimes I think you forget I’m not actually in love with you.” What’s that supposed to mean?” You bit your lip to try and stop yourself from saying what you were about to say but it was no use, the words were already half out, “I heard you talking to Joe the night you left your keys at the bar. I know you have a crush on me.” “You heard that?” His eyes were wide, horrified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear I just needed a drink an-.” “Oh my god,” He sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair again and you wished it was your fingers mussing it up, “Maybe you should go.” “Wait, Ben, let’s just talk about it.” “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He laughed at that, “I’m – I’ve been trying to stop feeling like this for months now, since we were filming together, but I can’t, I can’t shake you. I love you. And it won’t go away.” “You love me?” Ben nodded, looking up at you from the couch but you couldn’t meet his eye. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” You didn’t know what to say, just stood there, frozen in place. “That’s what I thought,” He stood up, chewing on his lip and when he spoke he had to clear his voice to make it loud enough for you to hear, “I, um, I know I just said you should leave but you can’t go yet. There are still paparazzi out there and we’re meant to look like we’ve made up. I’m going to go to bed though and you can stay until they leave or, if you can still stand to look at me, then you’re welcome to stay the night and I’ll drop you home in the morning. I’m really sorry.” You watched him walk towards the hallway, still frozen in place.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #i'm fully ready to cop some shit for this one lmao

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