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mdpikachu · 6 months

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yes this is the dante theory list for those who liked this post but im also making it my pinned

First; Hi, I'm Md (they/it/she) and welcome to my autism hole. Boops you. HERE is my art blog, HERE is my eldritch sideblog, HERE is my berserkerlot sideblog, and HERE is my photoblog, HERE is my AO3, HERE is my Flight Rising, HERE is my BlueSky. Okay, now back to the actual post. Limbus FC is C092709920.

Md's hot hot list of Dante limbus theories that I've been sitting on since I started playing

ONE OF THESE WILL BE RIGHT. MAYBE. cut for length. discuss in the comments. contains ruina and lobocorp spoilers. maybe even leviathan spoilers. assume spoilers for the newest content. pinning so i can keep adding to it in the future. (edited 5/11 for consistency) (up to canto 6.3)

Theory 1, from early march 2023- Dante has the option to get their head back, takes it. Human Dante is shown. except clearly hiding unfamiliarity with the sinners. The clock head is still alive. A clock doesnt need a body to live. Human evil dante uses the golden whatever to cause Problems and has the sinners chained to them. vergil is free tho so he can beat down evil dante. (this now works with a canto 5 tidbit where vergil said he'd only step in if "all sinners dead, dante is beaten, and the hands of the clock are about to be torn off".)

T2, 3/12- 9 circles of hell, Dante, and a few subsections. Dante is sinner 10. Charon is also in the divine comedy so she'll get a section. Dante are u lucifer. who is the lucifer of the setting?? i'm saying pre-dante Dante until otherwise noted. (not personally fond of this one)

T3, 3/15- iori saw limbus going a certain way and guaranteed it by making sure Dante got factory reset by force. villain to cause heroism. (dont know enough about Iori for this one)

**T4- Backwards clock relation possible. (possibly canon validated) (even more possible connection as of 6.3)

T5- Saying Dante had a significant other named Beatrice is way too low bar but It's a necessary one. ech

T6- Dante IS Beatrice and given the name of someone else. (too ez)

T7, 3/17- future Dante guaranteeing the future changes by getting past Dante's head removed. issue solved. This one is based on the opening and reading the lyrics real goodly.

T8, 3/20- Dante's head has a lil bit of angelas ai in there. or ayin data. benjamin. any of them. carmen even. fuck whatever. maybe hokma bc ticking in ruina theme. (this one lead to some Better Ideas. see later) (4/7) POSSIBLY SUPPORTED BY 6.2. WHY DID THEY SEE THAT.

T9, 3/23- The three censored letters. B E A, S I N, E G O, A L I, who knows. v e r. could be anything this one is nothing

T10, 3/26- Faust VERY SPECIFICALLY says that brains cant be replaced-- so even if Dante gets their head back, it's incompatible now. (!! this is a Top Theory)

T11, 3/28- Beatrice or someone else died around Christmas, which makes Dante sad even without their memories. The pain exists but the context is missing. (They also seem to know Christmas music without any issue, able to sing along with Charon in their head. This is not addressed in canon.)

T12, 3/30- Beatrice was one of the orphans that died in Leviathan :) the time period matches up. It was around Christmas.

T13, 3/31- HARD LOBOCORP SPOILER. Thinking about In Hell We Live (Lament). "Each loop we live/die thru"? How many times? How many times has Dante done this? Or Pre-Dante, anyway. Faust is probably in on it. The new L corp took one look at what Ayin was doing and went "we can do that too lmao". Losing their memory was a base requirement to prevent madness. I rewrote this theory on 9/19 but added "to prevent a paradox"

T14, 4/18- Less a HC and more a suggestion, just use F Corp's shit to Unlock Dante's memory. If we ever visit District F, you KNOW Faust is gonna keep them on one hell of a tight leash.

T15- Is the Star a Singularity? Did Dante STEAL it? Are THEY the singularity? The clock? This one's too easy too though.

T16, 5/8- WAT IF THE STAR IS LUCIFER. MORNING STAR. CAN MANIPULATE SOULS IN HELL. (weak but proj moon loves their Christian imagery. this will come back repeatedly) not this one. maybe

T17, 5/10- Dante is either connected to whitenight OR a jesus figure (12 apostles, sin, not dying when killed, revives people, etc. the christianity again. it will continue. i already drew plague doc dante.) (4/7, possible but carmen is the lucifer adjacent if 6-34 is anything to go by. jesus is still open.)

**T18. 5/16- Dante's clock hands are made from a Golden Bough. ez. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO canto 5.2

T19. 6/16- This has 0 canon basis but what if Dante was a Bloodfiend, would that be cool or what? They already don't need to eat, but is that from the clock or something else? Do they get IVs with nutrients? How does this work? Idk. I just want Dante to cut their hand open, make giant claws and rip a man apart before eating dirt. Dante can chew on a Sinner as a treat. c: I just want this one.

T20- Wouldn't it be fucked up if Dante found their head and it had either Distorted or was an Abnormality??

T21, 9/29- Religious Bastard Dieci Dante Aligheri.

T22- Dante has gotten Very Attached to the Sinners as their only form of contact while they've gotten themselves together. They recently realized many Sinners are doing this for the end goals, not to be a team. This seemed to upset them. UPSET THEM MORE. DISTORT THEM. DANTE REALIZES THEY'LL ALL LEAVE WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. Carmen! Come get this bitch.

T23- Actually, Dante should distort for any reason. I Absolutely Understand the Mechanics (lying). Got too depressed, hit -45 SAN and decided they're just a useless tool instead of a person? Absolutely. You're now a piece of equipment. (when Heath asks if they're okay in canto 5 bc they got injured, dante responds "the clocks fine so who cares?") (I now understand the mechanics but want it anyway) They won't.

T24- Building off the previous, they're really starting to believe they're just a tool like how Gregor thinks he's a bug. That Is Not Good For Your Mental Health (garry ib icon.png)

T25- Putting this here just before my fav one, their skin. We never see it, so a list of potential possibilities excluding Being White bc that's BORING: Any POC, ashy skin (like vergil), dark ashy (charon), pure black or close to (a lot of people do this, me included), dark and covered in stars, very tattooed, very mechanical, just outright a robot, bloodfiend again, scarred, frankensteiny, bough roots, fucked up censored, ETC. Based on the few images we have that show anything, it's just pitch black under there unless it's a skinsuit. the rest of them may be any of the above but for now most of these are defunct.

T26- My Current Top Theory of All Time- Dante is an AI. They have never been human, just machine. At least one of their creators cared enough to do better than Ayin ever fucking did, fostering curiosity and a desire to live in the little AI. Thing is, after Angela, AI became Very Illegal. There's no way their creators survived. L Corp New got them. Old AI Dante was, at their core, still an unfeeling machine that made decisions based purely on cold logic. New Dante is a person that is learning and growing, refusing to follow the colder path at times.

Is the clock part of them? Unsure. That can work either way.

But they're definitely becoming a person who doesn't want every encounter to end in bloodshed and death. Good for them. (this part is correct)

T27- Dante is not Ruina Dante. they didn't get booked. I think they'd throw hands on sight.

T28- Verg/Dante that's all glory to yxxiville

**T29- Dante navigator skills IM SO FUCKING HAPPY I WIN FOREVER MOM HOLY FUCK

T30- I missed one! Their eyes with a human head. This has a few that rotate. Red eyes, Gold eyes, Gold with the star, heterochromia with only one gold/star and red, pitch black (pre-d), or night sky/star. mix and match. who cares?

T31- I personally like the idea of Dante being a redhead (real red not ginger like ish) but realize it doesn't make much sense. Black hair works too, esp smoky, but they need more color. maybe fire streaks? if POC, maybe dreads?

T32- I am now also accepting heathcliff/dante post canto 5.1 he care so much.... actually just sinner polycule is valid. so is sinner family. both work. the only part I dont like is dante/faust. doesn't feel right. Charon excluded. that is our child. sinner x any other sinner. dante x anyone. including vergil. not charon.

T33- Forgot an old one where I figured Dante was a hacker that got into a Lot of trouble and being sinner #10 was meant to be a suicide mission.

T34- Dante being an ai part 2, having been planted in a body. maybe even a body they knew.

T35- [added to 25]

T36- Memory loss being fully intentional to kill their previous self and only carry over the necessary. A new start.

T37- Yknow how we never SAW Dante being an upper torso and arm in canto 3? Why? What is being hidden that's so important? robot parts? are you a robot? are you a -

T38- Dante being an artist of any kind. musician, poet, painter, etc. even post amnesia. give em a hobby

T39- Somewhere else I discussed forms that'd be fun for a Dante Distortion but i cant find it so ill reiterate: coffin spider, all around helper clock, useless fucking thing. all of which have gold chains suffocating them and it doesnt fight back. give it morphine

T40- this one's insane but dante's og self being the Player/self-insert. thats why they were "Me" and not "Dante" we're not them. but we also are.

T41- This ones a joke but og dantes name actually just being "Me". (but not pronounced that way) (alternatively it was a nickname)

T42- Dante being an interviewer or reporter- A big name one. No wonder they keep secrets like K corps singularity. They can release that publicly later... if they choose to.

T43- RECREATE CARMEN. DO IT PUSSY. That 5.5 Blade scene is Damning as all hell. That or the bough + the monolith had an Interaction.

T44- Dante's internal programming knows the City Lore but Dante isn't allowed to know. The fact so much of that scene was censored...

T45- Dante is Bongbong

T46- I haven't beaten Ruina so I don't know a lot about Constructs or Librarians but like. Maybe they were one of those.

T47- Dante is going to eventually explode (figuratively). Even they can only take so much abuse and bullshit. Self-esteem can only go so low.

T48- Dante being a disaster chimera of stuff. AI made of someone else's brain, in someone else's body, with other stuff installed, etc, etc, etc.

T49- The Star reminds me too much of Blue Star, talking about Sin and such. Maybe it's an abno relating to that. who knows.

T50- Dante is an ID and there's a mirror in their head keeping them active. I hope they do a Charon/Lapis and totally overwrite the og bc the og's an asshole.

T51- Dante's the first successful "new human"

T52- Dante IS fucked up but something in their head hides the fuckedupness from everyone else.

#mddttxt #limbus company #project moon #dante lcb #pinn'd post

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fixa-ryeter · 2 years

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here's ageswap!Ritsu!

before we go on, quick heads-up: this is a heavier and wordier post; there’s going to be discussions about PTSD, its symptoms and Ritsu's response to them, and because i’m on PC i can cut off that section with a ‘Keep Reading’ bar? so i’ll do that and try to lay out the rest of the facts before that. also there's gonna be a bit of a format change here bc PC so afblakdhbf

a few people have shown interest in Ritsu and i was. so happy. im still new to tumblr imo and im so excited about all of this FBALDKHFBASFB so here he is. and with this it’ll be a huge look into what happened between him and his brother. also shoutout to my friend bc she is VERY MUCH part of the creative process. i’m not sure if she wants to be mentioned here but credit goes to her too! (bestie if you see this please tell me) update: SHE SAID YES @escape-from-twinkov say thank you escape from twinkov

Ritsu! Popular, all-rounder kid in academics and sports who started burning out in university and dropped out to pursue music with a few of his friends. it worked out for them, and his life is relatively stable. kinda stable. a little stable. really depends on your definition of stable. here’s the facts:

he's a good 5'11, about 24 years old

he/they demiboy. doesn't really feel the need for a solid label for his sexuality

plays guitar. is the band's frontman. he has three other bandmates and Shou Suzuki is one of them.

suffers from PTSD and anxiety (more on it below the cut)

loves playing Just Dance (even though he sucks at it) and Guitar Hero (he's better at this one)

your average My Chemical Romance + vocaloid enjoyer, AND a closeted 1D fan

he's a quick thinker, but when they're anxious he can barely think at all

loves udon. loves tofu. give this man either or both when he's upset and it cheers them up quite a bit.

tells people he has a diary no one should read. not because it's his diary, but because he doodles a lot in it and finds it embarrassing. of course Shou finds out. of course Shou thinks it's adorable.

he went through a lot of friends in his later school life. had many, lost many, and struggled to make friends in university. Found some buddies in their second year, made a band, dropped out with them at the start of third year.

if you've decided not to keep reading until here thanks so much for getting to this point already!!!!! heavier stuff below the cut so read at your own risk. it's lore so if theres a need for it i'll post a summary on it.

So remember the ???% incident in childhood that led to Ritsu getting hurt and Mob being unable to remember what happened? That's where we're getting at. It was never resolved in their childhood or adolescent years. Ritsu tells Mob he doesn't remember either, and tried to sweep it under the rug. Worked for the most part.

his PTSD was delayed onset. his symptoms were there, but not enough to fit the diagnostic criteria. they got worse in university because he was experiencing heavy burnout with no one he felt like he could turn to. he'd moved out and was struggling to make friends.

he has nightmares which only increased in frequency, something he never gave much thought to because they figured it was a logical response to the event. didn't bother to question it either even when he had been experiencing them for months since he had other things to worry about. doesn't mean they didn't bother them and scare them though.

sometimes they just don't show up and don't reply to messages after shooting a quick text to his mates about feeling ill. his bandmates were getting concerned.

a little bit difficult to work with in the studio sometimes because he has difficulty concentrating and doesn't seem present.

terrible sleep quality, something he and his brother have in common.

often lacks motivation to do anything outside of his music job and things he feels like he's obligated to do, like hang out with his friends sometimes. never moves things out of place in his apartment, but his room is usually a mess because he struggles with cleaning up.

Ritsu had no fucking idea how to cope with any of this and made a decision to remove their perceived source of trauma from his life. He completely cut out Mob from his life for a few years. Blocked his number. Blocked his socials. Moved and never gave him a new address.

at first he felt as though he really did something to fix things for himself. after all he didn't need to bother checking up, visiting, hanging out with a person who had caused him all this trouble. he felt optimistic about it at first. waited for their own symptoms to get better. eventually no matter how he looked at it he hadn't fixed anything. he was still being stubborn for years after cutting his brother off.

had a breakdown in front of his bandmates and they started asking him to get help. he caved in and he did! now they're learning to live with their PTSD and their issues in a healthier way. but he's also starting to really miss his brother and feel like an asshole for lying to him about the incident and leaving him in the dark.

soooo that's all that's going to be revealed in this post. more on mob's side of the story and how they try to fix things next time? i've actually already written a oneshot on it but i'm not sure if i should share it. i'll go ahead and burn that bridge when i get to it afbdhsakfb but if you're still reading at this point thanks so much for reading until here 😭😭😭

#mob psycho #mob psycho 100 #mp100 ageswap #age swap au #kageyama ritsu #ritsu kageyama

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doodles-dearest · 1 year

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made this for my bf for valentines idk if hes read it yet but i hope whoever sees this does ((late) update: he did!! xe loves it!! im a happy boyo now with validation <3)

Steve just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Worse than giving up his carefree life to become a people pleasing king of highschool.

Worse than going to apologise to Nancy back in '83, only to get dragged into all that Upside Down bullshit.

Worse than everything he ever did.

He let his chance with Eddie Munson go, and now he's sitting in the rain, wishing he wasn't a coward.

———

Valentine's Day. A day of love, of cheesy cards, and the worst day of the year for Steve Harrington.

Every year in the past he told himself it'd be different, he'd have the perfect Valentine's Day; but of course that never happened. The last good one he can remember was so long ago, he was about nine or so, and a boy (girl? Person? It was so long ago and Steve's memory was so bad nowadays that he wasn't sure) had rushed up to him and shoved a heart shaped card into his chest before running away. The card was clearly homemade, obnoxious hearts everywhere, covered in glue. It was made with love though, love that not many people had ever shown him since. Now it sat tucked in the back of Steve's closet, along with his sexuality.

This year, he was giving up. He was going to treat it like any other day, to the best of his abilities. Which was difficult, considering everyone else around him seemed to have a valentine. Robin was busy with Nancy, so hanging out with either of them was out. The kids all had their various valentines– Steve tends not to get into their love lives, the complex web that it is. Argyle and Jonathan were getting high together, which Steve reckoned was their version of a date. There was Eddie, but with a face like his and a wit like that, he was most likely snuggling up to someone too. It was strange, Steve hated picturing Eddie with someone more than he did picturing the others. The idea of Eddie wrapping an arm around a girl's shoulder, offering them his jacket, glancing at their lips, sent a dark, hostile feeling creeping through Steve's chest. He tried to ignore the thought.

So, Steve just decided that once his shift was over, he'd go home and get as wasted as possible. His plans were thwarted however, when the very metalhead he was just thinking of came trotting into Family Video, his chains and rings clinking as he walked, announcing his arrival.

"Ah, Munson, here to grab a rom-com for your valentine?" Steve commented dully. It came out a little saltier than he'd intended.

Eddie pulled a face. "Someone's grumpy. Valentine's Day not your thing, King Stevie? I thought it would be considering you're an absolutely brilliant charmer." He waved his hands around dramatically, Steve just rolled his eyes.

"It's not my fault Valentine's is always the worst day of the year for me." He grumbled back. "Now, the rom-coms are in the section with all the dumb hearts and confetti and…" Steve waved his hands around vaguely. "Shit."

"Actually, my dear Stevie, I'm also without a valentine. So, I was wondering if you'd like to–"

Steve cut him off, that sour creeping feeling vanishing. "Get wasted out of our minds? Hell yes. My place or yours?"

Eddie looked a bit taken aback, almost like he was going to say something rather different. "Mine?"

"Sounds great." Steve smiled, his eyes brighter now. "I'll see you after my shift."

"Need me to pick you up, big boy?" Eddie smirked. Steve rolled his eyes again, but he couldn't help but feel a certain type of hotness under his collar due to the nickname.

"I'll be fine, thanks. See you in a bit." Steve grinned.

The metalhead gave him finger guns and imitated a southern accent. "Whatever you say, pardner." And he trotted out the store as if on a horse, leaving Steve giggling and smiling.

———

The rest of the day went better, thankfully. Sure there were lovey dovey couples coming in to get their movies that they'd inevitably neglect just so they could make goo goo eyes at each other, but Steve had Eddie and booze to look forward to, and that thought kept him light and airy all throughout the day. He watched as the clock ticked to 5 and he rushed out the door, flipping the open sign to closed, before jumping into his beamer and racing off to the trailer, unable to stop smiling.

At that point he wasn't sure why he was so happy, really. It was just two guys hanging out and getting drunk on Valentine's Day. That was normal.

"Normal friend stuff." He mumbled to himself as he parked. He felt a sudden pang in his stomach of… surely not– butterflies. No, not butterflies, you can't get butterflies for someone you're just friends with. He was just nervous. But why would he be nervous? He sighed and shook his head. He was being an idiot; so much of an idiot in fact that he hadn't noticed Eddie tapping on the window.

"You gonna sit out here all evening, Stevie boy?" He said with a lopsided grin. Steve rolled his eyes and got out. He did that alot with Eddie; not in a dismissive way, of course. He just felt he had to, or else he'd let something else out, something he wouldn't be able to explain away.

And he definitely came close to a reaction like that when Eddie presented a heart shaped box. "For you." His tone was more subdued, his smile suddenly less confident. Steve took them with some hesitation, wondering if it was some sort of joke.

"They're chocolates." Eddie broke the silence that Steve didn't even realise had begun. "There's a dumb card inside too, here." He took the box back, their hands brushing for a moment Steve wished lasted forever. Carefully, he opened it, and in it sat a heart shaped card, almost exactly like the one Steve had received so many years ago. It had the same type of obnoxious hearts glued on, but placed with more articulation this time. He took the card, holding it as if it were a valuable antique. Without even needing to open it to see the chicken-scratch handwriting of "To Steve", he could feel the love put in it. He hoped Eddie might've signed his name this time, so he'd remember who brightened up his Valentine's.

Eddie was looking at him intensely, studying his expression, trying to read his emotions. "It's stupid, I'm sorry." He mumbled, taking Steve's silence as a bad sign.

"Thank you." Steve practically whispered, his eyes meeting Eddie's. They stayed like that, for a moment, their brown eyes locked together for what seemed like an eternity. Steve wasn't sure if Eddie could tell how much the gift meant, but in his heart he hoped he could. In Eddie's eyes though, he could see so much hurt, so much hope. The gift meant a lot to him too, it was to test the waters, to see if perhaps, Steve might like him in a way different to friendship.

Steve felt like Eddie could see so much of him at that moment, those big brown eyes pierced his soul like a pin in a balloon. It was like he could see everything about him, and Steve felt bare and open. It unsettled him somewhat, while also giving him a feeling of belonging. Eddie understood, he got what Steve had been through. He just wasn't ready to share that part of himself with Eddie yet, and so, Steve broke the moment, looking away at the floor.

"We should head inside, it's freezing." He mumbled, slowly walking into the trailer, clutching the card to his chest. Eddie lagged behind briefly before catching him up, and then, he put his jacket around Steve's shoulders. This was all… new. This affection. He wasn't sure what to make of it, really. It stirred feelings in him, feelings he tried so hard to bury so long ago. He didn't say anything, just kept on walking.

"Wanna watch a movie or something then?" Eddie smiled, his confidence returning. This was becoming more and more like a date as it went on, Steve noted. He tried to ignore it. Just two guys watching a movie on Valentine's Day.

"Totally normal and platonic." Steve mumbled.

Eddie frowned confusedly. "What was that?"

"Nothing, uh, nothing." Steve shook his head. "We can watch a movie if you want, yeah."

Eddie smiled again, and how Steve wished he could make Eddie smile like that more. "Great, what do you want, The Wicker Man, The Dead Zone–"

Steve grimaced. Despite having seen ungodly horrors in his real life, he still couldn't handle horror movies.

Eddie rolled his eyes and smiled. "Fine, what do you suggest then?"

"That Star Wars one? You know, it's called, uh… Back to the Future?"

And so began their night of idiocy, dumbassery and intoxication.

———

A couple hours later, and Steve was so drunk he could barely move. Eddie, who handled his booze better, was very entertained by Steve's drunken antics.

"And so, Eds, I told her, d'you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty–" He paused to hiccup. "Fifty three minutes 'n' five seconds? People who like boobies, y'know? Boobies!" Steve flourished with his hands, waving them about so dramatically that he nearly rolled off the couch.

Eddie giggled; while yes, he could handle his alcohol, he was still drunk. "I don't like boobies."

"What? Dude, c'mon, they're boobies, you can just…" Steve made grabbing motions with his hands. "Squish squish."

Eddie sighed. "No it's not that I don't like boobies altogether, it's just… I only like 'em on men."

There was silence for a moment, as it sunk in for both of them that Eddie had just outed himself.

"Men boobies." Steve giggled.

Eddie nodded and smiled. "Men boobies."

———

More time passed, and soon they were fresh out of alcohol and were sobering up slowly. They were sitting in a comfortable silence, when Eddie asked the question.

"Do you like men?"

Steve didn't respond. The effects of the alcohol and his head starting to throb didn't put him in the best state to answer. He wanted to say yes, because that was the honest answer, but all his life he'd been told that he didn't. Yes he knew the people telling him that were wrong on basically every other account but when you're told something enough times, you start to believe it, no matter who's saying it.

Eddie was looking at him. "Steve?"

"I don't know." Steve sighed and brushed a hand through his hair.

"Well…" Eddie sounded hesitant. "We could find out?"

Steve looked at him, only to see him getting closer, looking at his lips, leaning in and…

———

That's all Steve can remember. The next thing he knew he was at Lovers Lake at quarter to four in the morning, gazing into the water, raindrops pattering down on him, he'd be shivering if it weren't for Eddie's jacket.

He ran away, and now he's sitting all alone, drunk, on Valentine's Day. He had a chance, Eddie was going to kiss him, be his valentine, love him; but he's thrown that away, and for what?

I'm a coward. He thinks to himself. A dumb little coward who can't even kiss a boy.

He wanted to. Wants to. But for some reason, in that moment he'd just ran, ran away from his friend, no, his crush. He's sure it's a crush now. What else could it be?

Then, behind him, he hears the unmistakable sound of a beaten up old van and metal music. Eddie.

He doesn't turn around, he can't face Eddie, not like this, not when he has so much shame to deal with. He could swim away, avoid the confrontation. No that's dumb. He thinks. Then, before he can think of another plan, Eddie's sitting beside him.

"Hey." Eddie whispers. "I am so, so sorry. I thought…" He sighs. "I guess I misread the signals, I thought for some dumb reason you might like me back but I–" Steves stops him talking by placing a hand on his.

"You didn't misread anything, Eds, I just panicked and ran like I always do. Feelings are just… They're confusing. I'm confused. All I know is I really, really like you." He turns to look at Eddie, to gauge his reaction, their eyes lock.

There's silence. All they can hear is the rain slowly getting more intense as they stare into each other's eyes.

Eddie drops his gaze for a second before bringing it back. "I like you too."

And so the two boys sit together in the rain, hand in hand, sitting before a heart of water as they figure out how they feel.

#idk why i decided to make part of it present tense i hate writing in present tense it confuses me #this was gonna be a rain confession but i fucked it up accidentally #eh #its still alright ig #cant wait for in 2 months time when i finally get motivation to write again #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #fluff #repressed steve #stranger things #st #valentines day #steveddie #eddiesteve #fanfic #2k words bby

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cloudy-leonhart · 3 years

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I JUST READ YOUR VETERANS WITH FILIPINO S/O AND IM SO PROUD WCEIWVEHHW, can i also request a veteran reaction to like, their s/o gets flirted with a guy and their s/o is totally oblivious. (also, nanaba is very cute, ate nana 😭✊)

wait but this is such a good request 🥺 maybe that’s just me, I like jealous headcanons lmao-

———

AOT VETERANS JEALOUS HCS WITH OBLIVIOUS S/O!!

[author note: I have a few fic requests in my inbox rn! Please dw if u requested a fic, it takes me a little longer to write fics than headcanons so please don’t think I’m ignoring your request! I also had to rewrite this, I had a bad weekend and tumblr keeps deleting my drafts but I still want to provide for my followers, so I apologize that it’s only half of the veterans! I’ll add Nanaba and Moblit once I do get the motivation too! ]

Summary: S/O get’s flirted with, vets are big jealous babies.

Gender Neutral Reader.

Recommended Song: How Long - Charlie Puth.

TW: some swearing, suggestive themes, yucky boys hitting on you.

Theme: Fluff, canonverse.

Characters: Erwin, Hange, Levi, Miche.

Erwin Smith

Honestly even he couldn’t tell at first that the noble man (lets call him, Gene.) you were talking to was flirting with you.

You were absolutely oblivious, you think Gene is just having a conversation with you and Gene thinks you like him.

When Erwin notices it, at first he’s like “hmm, maybe Reader’s talking business with him.” And then Gene kissed the back of your hand, in which he felt his eye twitching. He started pouting really bad, he looked like a kicked puppy from across the ballroom. He didn’t want to be rude, so he kept reassuring himself that it was a friendly gesture.

You were absolutely clueless, like “this is fine.” clueless. You had no idea Gene was trying his hardest to court you. Until You felt Erwin behind you, that is.

You know those big coughs that you do to get someone’s attention. Yeah, Erwin coughed REALLY loud. Mind you, Erwin probably towers most nobles. So imagine the face on Gene when he saw this tall, titan-slaying commander towering over him. I think he almost peed his pants honestly, he was like “uh..it was nice meeting you, miss Last name, but uh..I- I uhm.. Igottago-“

Yeah he speed-walked his scared ass outta there, you were kinda just like “what?” You saw Erwin’s shadow and just turned around with the cutest smile on your face.

“Erwin!” You chirped, he softened his glare on the noble and looked at you, cue his pout coming back. “You really didn’t know?”

“Know what?” You asked, walking with him, hand in hand. You guys were walking back to your carriage to go home for the night.

“Reader, he was flirting with you, quite literally trying to court you.” Erwin groaned, his jealousy starting to show. You were still a bit confused, so you just stared at him with a blank expression.

“He was just being nice Erwin, come on.” You nudged his arm, trying to get him to loosen up, he looked at you, in which you looked at him with puppy dog eyes, in response he groaned, being a sucker for your puppy dog eyes.

He huffed, “you’re staying back at the headquarters from now on.” Your eyes widened slightly, “What?! Why?!” You shook him arm. “Because I don’t want you being flirted with, you’re mine reader, and I’m yours.” Erwin squished your cheeks together.

“Owf Cwouse I’m youws-“ you took his hands off your cheek. “You’re the only man for me,” you laughed as you entered the carriage.

“Now get in, I’m feeling a little empty inside and you’re the only who can fix that.”

Levi Ackerman

Oh dear, if you’re willing to flirt with the Levi Ackerman’s S/O, you’re basically asking for a death wish.

He usually isn’t too jealous when it comes to someone flirting with his S/O genuinely because he’s either busy doing something or he isn’t there at all but...

He’s not called Humanity’s Strongest for nothing. Both of you were in charge for training the cadets. You were known for your kind behaviour, so obviously a lot of the cadets would ask for your training.

In which Levi was okay with because, duh less work for him. He was doing fine until he glanced at you and saw a male cadet getting a little too close. (calling him, Sam.)

You guys were in a secret relationship at the time, he didn’t want anyone teasing you or him about anything so both of you kept it a secret.

See, he regrets that decision right now because it’s really a pain in the ass to see Sam acting like he doesn’t know the moves when he knows damn well he taught the brat those moves a week ago.

So with a clenched jaw, he glared at Sam as you were behind the cadet, teaching him the same move Levi taught him.

Levi looked across the field to see you behind Sam, helping him strike his punch correctly, he felt angered and a little jealous, watching you be so touchy with him.

He sighed and shook his head, trying to calm himself to keep him from doing something, that is until he watched as Sam tripped you just so he could “catch” you. He caught you in those romantic poses.

You weren’t really paying attention to what he was trying to achieve and instead thanked him, unaware of his plan to kiss you. You tried to get out of Sam’s hold, until you realized that Sam was getting close to you.

You were about to start freaking out until someone pulled you into their arms, you looked at your “saviour”’s face, seeing it’s Levi. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to a section commander, cadet?” Sam gulped, walking back. “Just making sure captain Reader’s okay, captain Levi.” Sam saluted, sweating profusely.

“That requires you tripping them and almost kissing them?” Levi’s eyebrow raised as his arm tightened against your waist, that’s when a lightbulb lights up in your mind, ‘Is..is Levi jealous??’ “uh well-” Sam tried to explain himself, “I taught you this move last week, you have no excuse to ask for captain Reader’s help.”

A scowl was long planted on Levi’s face. Sam scoffed, “Okay, so I wanted to court captain Reader, but Sir, they’re single, you can’t blame for wanting to court them.” Levi took a step forward, you prevented him from beating Sam up.

“They’ve got a boyfriend.” He spat out, basically death staring Sam down. “And who’s that?” Sam laughed out.

Levi clicked his tongue, before you knew it, Levi’s lips were on yours. “Me.” He stated.

Hange Zöe

Hange, they usually are chill most of the times, to be honest they don’t get too jealous, it’s only when it’s painfully obvious, that’s when it starts to tick them off.

I mean, making Levi Ackerman mad is one thing, but Hange?? I’m already planning your funeral. One of the corps’ rules, never ever make Hange Zöe mad.

It does not help when their S/O absolutely is oblivious.

Hange starts off with being a little skeptical and glancing at you from afar. then it becomes a stare once in a while, and then their mood gets soiled.

they start to become irritated, at this one garrison squad member (let’s name him Avery) talking with you. You should actually be helping them with their experiments.

And they snap when they see you being offered a flower.

Little clueless Reader, just confirmed Avery’s death, it’s been signed this point on.

You could hear AND feel Hange’s stomps nearing both you and Avery.

God help the poor garrison member, because they’re about to be sent to heaven with how jealous and irritated Hange is.

“Hey, Avery.” Hange’s voice cut through your guys’ conversation, “Hange!” you chirped, holding onto the flower Avery had gifted you. “Hange! You’ve met Reader here right?” Avery asked, also unaware of Hange’s attitude.

“yes, they’re actually my partner.” Hange’s teeth was gritted as they took their rightful place beside you, pulling you close. Cue the awkward silence, “Oh my god, Hange I’m so sorry, I thought they were you know-” Hange didn’t even let him finish.

“Just get the fuck out, Avery.” Hange gave him a glare that almost made Avery shit his pants. “Yes captain!” He saluted and left before Hange could murder him. “What was that about, Hange?” You asked as they took the flower out of your hand.

“He was courting you, and you were letting him, darling.” Hange stated, as you covered your mouth with your hand, “Oh! I’m sorry Hange! Darn it, I’m so oblivious.” You scolded yourself.

“It’s good you can still remember that you belong to me.” Hange continued, inspecting the flower gifted to you. “Of course, you only, Hange.” You agreed, looking at them.

“Wanna prove it to me then, Reader?”

Miche Zacharias

Miche is kind of like a grizzly bear, you should never be around him when he’s mad or jealous.

He tends to be more aggressive when it comes to him being irritated, I don’t mean to headcanon him as a wolf, but I know he just growls when a little thing goes wrong.

He’s possessive over you now, but now he’s basically just suffocating you with his over-protectiveness.

I feel as if he can tell when someone has some kind of weird scent, and it basically spoils everything he can smell.

He tends to hover around you once he gets jealous, he’ll get clingy and probably need to have you touching him somehow, holding hands, side by side. He just needs to be touching you.

He’s the type of person to also just, push away who ever you’re talking with, and just drag you away.

One time, you and him went on a date and the person who worked there hit on you right in front of him, Miche made him almost piss his pants.

Miche and you were out at an event for survery corps members, celebrating your recent successes with your latest expedition. Miche was with Erwin and Levi while you chatted up a storm with a noble named Walter.

Miche could feel himself about to break his glass, watching you and Walter laugh together. “So, are you seeing anyone?” Walter asked, you stopped laughing, shocked that he’d ask you that question out of nowhere.

“What?-” At this point Walter had a hold of both of your hands, you were absolutely still in place, “Actually don’t mind that, can I court you?” A big smile was on Walter’s face, wondering about your answer. “I-”

“You actually can’t, they have a boyfriend.” Miche had long appeared behind you, towering over both you and Walter. You closed your eyes, in a bit of relief, “Yes, this is Miche, he’s a section commander and my boyfriend.” You smiled, hooking your hand with Miche’s, silently hoping that Walter would leave you both alone.

“Ah, I’m terribly sorry, I thought you didn’t have a partner, that’s my fault.” Walter quickly apologized, seeing how intimidating Miche was. “well, I-..I should go, it was lovey meeting you and your boyfriend, Reader.” Walter speed-walked his way out of his situation, leaving you with a pouty and jealous Miche.

“Why talk to those who look like they have it tiny, Reader?”

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mrsmount16 · 3 years

Note

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.

#chelsea #chelsea football club #england squad #football #footballer #mase mount #champions league #chelsea fc #england #footballers #mason mount x og #mason mount x reader #mm21 #mason mount imagine #mason mount #euros 21 #euro 21 #euros 2020 #uefa euro 2020

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sweetberrysmooch · 3 years

Text

HC: Call This The ‘Can This Man Cook’ Section

(….. I don’t think these men can cook 😔)

First post pog :D I wrote a majority of these super late at night, so please forgive and let me know of any mistakes you find <3 Also, it’s a little long lol

Characters: Dream, George, SapNap, Badboyhalo, Wilbur, Technoblade, Philza, Quackity, Fundy, Schlatt.

Warnings: None, except for a kinda risqué comment in Philza’s. Oh and I guess there’s mentions of eating meat in case someone wants the warning :3

Song Recommendation: I Love You So- The Walters

Hella fluffy! Hope you enjoy <3

From best to worst:

#1: BadBoyHalo-

Bad is the best at cooking on the server. He is the creme of the crop, absolute top one percent, king shit at cooking.

He can cook, bake, and temper chocolate perfectly, what more could you want?

His favorite to-go recipes are cheesy garlic bread and a special spicy chicken and rice recipe which he typically makes when the boys are over at his house for the night. When he’s with you he goes for something a little smoother, some mulled sweet berry cider with a smoked cod fillet, eaten under the light of candles while you quietly chat about life and your fellow friends. It’s always one of Bad’s most anticipated hangouts, and he’s very careful about planning when it comes to those days.

While he appreciates being complimented on his food or his skills, deep down he wants to have someone to cook and share his knowledge with so the cooking process becomes much richer. He’s cooked for so long and learned so much, but it means nothing if he can’t share it with another person. The moment you come to him and ask him for help on any kind of recipe, he’ll drop almost everything to help you.

Side note; he absolutely carried lunch and dinner for his fellow DTeam members. While Sapnap would mostly take over breakfast, Bad would be hounded by begging puppy looks from these adult men who couldn’t cook and kind of just sigh and get the ‘kiss the cook’ apron ready. It’s not like he hates it or anything, but the endearing factor kinda slips off after a few years of adult men groveling.

(Bad’s hands rest over yours, dwarfing them entirely as he helps you cut the pasta sheet straightly. “There you go!” He encourages, squeezing your hand gently and stepping away, moving back to dice the vegetables on the cutting board next to you. A comfortable silence falls, and with it comes something in Bad’s heart softening. The worries and exhaustion in his mind ease, and he slips into a contented routine of finely chopping and slicing. It’s been a while since he’s felt so calm. There’s nothing that can ruin this-

The front door slams open. Footsteps walk in and approach the kitchen and you both hear it,

“Baaaaaaaaad.” Bad cringes, taking a step back.

“Baaaaaaaaaaad, we’re hungry.” Sapnap.

“Yeah Bad, feeeeeeeed uuuuuuus.” George.

And then, from around the door frame, a white mask peeks in. Nobody says a word, but you can feel Bad deflate next to you like let go balloon.

“It’s alright, big guy.” You laugh, grabbing his forearm and leaning up against him. His sad puppy eyes make you smile a little, and you try to reassure him. “We can hang out alone another time. Let’s keep working on the pasta.” He sighs, but still returns your smile. “Yeah, another time.”)

#2: Philza

Sigh…. he can cook. Not quite as good as Bad can, but better than Quackity. A solid second place. It stems mainly from being so knowledgeable that he just knows and has tried so many different foods, but since he doesn't actually do much cooking, I'm making him a flaky second place.

Doesn’t mind cooking, but doesn’t love doing it either. He’s always focused on so many different things that he’ll forgo eating to keep working on what he’s doing. He mostly cooks for Techno and Ranboo or the few guests (you) they seem to receive. Makes great stew, and even better roasted chicken, is absolutely immaculate when it comes to cooking bird.

He didn’t teach Wilbur or Techno shit! I wish I could say it’s because he wanted to but just couldn’t, but he was literally like “hmm. Im a little busy now, maybe next year” every year!! But, this being said, if you ask him to make something with you or teach you how to cook a particular dish, he will agree to help you. Old age has really mellowed him out, and after certain events, he realizes he needs to stay a bit closer to those he cares about from now on.

He likes sweets well enough, and will always thank you for any gifts you make for him. Along with growing older, he’s had time to lose his pickiness he had in his youth. If he does end up cooking with you, he’ll prefer doing the harder recipes over easy ones. He will lose it laughing if it turns out bad, so don’t worry about any disappointment (his children make up enough of that ^^).

(“Now,” Phil starts, washing his hands quickly as you wait for him next to the cutting board. “Pufferfish needs to be prepared perfectly, or we will die when we eat it. But I don’t need to explain to you how a pufferfish works, now do I?”

When you shake your head no, he comes up behind you, tarnished wings bound and hair pulled up in a pony tail.

“The meat of a pufferfish is very delectable, and much better with a glass of wine.” He grins cheekily, “ If this works out well, which I’m sure it will, dinner will be delicious.”

It falls quiet for a second, and as your hesitantly looking over the fish that may be your last, you gasp when you feel him press up against you back and rest his chin on your shoulder. “Maybe there’ll be other delicious things to eat as well,” He murmurs into you ear, before leaning back and busting out laughing. Your face feels stupidly hot. Dilfza quest activated.)

#3: Quackity-

Quackity:

Quackity can cook. I know!! I’d say he’s like the third best cooker on the list. And he’s not half bad at baking either.

He likes making up stupid bad recipes and trying them out with you, even if at the end of it the one of you up chucks your damned creations the hour after. Despite his reigning need for chaos though, he knows how to make a decent amount of recipes and strives for praise when he’s actually putting forward effort. He’ll arrange little dinner dates (“A handsome man and his very pretty friend, good food made by yours truly, and La Chona, what do you say, baby?”) and will sit there with a 🥺 look on his face until you tell him if you liked it or not.

He tries to act like he’s unaffected by your words, but even a small, “That was really good.” will make him turn red and giggle like a schoolgirl. He tries to play it off, but it’s easy to tell he loves the complements. Will also never tell you anything you make is bad. You are a deity descended upon minecraft Earth and he is but your prettiest disciple who will uphold your honor and treat you like you should be treated!!!! But he’ll then promptly choose to help you with and guide you into cooking/baking better ^^; He loves you!

As for baking, he really likes making cakes because of how simple they can be. It helps calm him down when he can just slip into bake mode and follow a recipe and make something nice at the end of it. Speaking of, he also has a sweet tooth, but not quite as bad as Techno does. Any sweets or food you make for him is always eaten, and always held in high regard. Will try to entice you into feeding him 👀👀 so watch out.

(He’s doing it again. You try to avoid looking directly at the dopey lovesick smile Quackity has on his face at the moment, but as you lift the fork up, you get a better idea.

You look at him (to which he seems to melt a little under your gaze), look at the fork, and then back to him, raising the piece of cake up to his lips. His expression turns flabbergasted and his blush deepens.

He doesn’t seem to believe you for a second, until you nudge the cake close and flash him a smile. Then it’s like a switch has been flicked; he giggles, blushing, and eats the cake right off the fork. He’s gone back to smiling that silly smile again, this time even brighter, but it’s okay. You try to ignore the way your heart speeds up in your chest when he begs you for another piece.)

#4: Schlatt-

Another cooker~! He specializes with formal dinners more than anything else, and adores a good steak.

During his presidency, he didn’t cook very often. Quackity and you had to keep him fed through most of it, and the memory of watching you cook in his kitchen while he looked over work papers at his dining table leaves a mark on him, sealing a new crave for domesticity that he hadn’t ever wanted before.

Sometimes he would cook though. You, Quackity, and Tubbo would all gather around and eat together every once in a blue moon, when Schlatt was sober and calm. It feels tense at the table but also not in a way? Schlatt always seems to be chillest during dinner, a mix of the alcohol wearing off and the emphatic family feel that comes with Tubbo, Quackity, and you surrounding him.

He loves cake! It’s one of the few desserts he’ll eat, but you have to watch him closely or he’ll gorge himself of the treat. Indulge him and invite him to make a cake with you, and it will be one of the most interesting bakes of your life. How Schlatt got three eggs to stick to the ceiling is beyond you, but the look in his eyes tells you he’s completely fucking sober and hamming up his own cluelessness. You probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it weren’t for him hiding all the other eggs around your kitchen as well. How did he get one on the top of your door without it falling when you opened it? That’s between him and god.

Overall, a good 4th place on the list.

(“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Schlatt says, deadpanned, looking you right in the fucking eyes with an undisturbed egg sitting perfectly straight on his head.

“Where are the eggs, Schlatt.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Schlatt.”

“Yes.”

The container you kept them in is completely empty on your kitchen counter, once full of eggs but now reduced to a desolate husk of its former glory. Speaking of former glories, your president turns around, arms crossed and stands there silently.

You look around. Theres one in the door handle of in the pantry, another wedged between two slices of bread in your bread box, and- oh god. On the fucking ceiling. Three, stuck to the ceiling, unmovable. After a full minute of dead silence you manage a “What the fuck have you done?”, and Schlatt turns to look.

“Oh hey. There they are.” Your mind turns into a rock, shatters, and crumbles into dust.)

#5: Dream-

Honestly if you’re looking for edible food that tastes range from ok to good Dream is your man. 5th place.

He knows a lot of ‘depression era’ type recipes just because he’s pretty homeless and his man hunts don’t allow him much time to hone his skills. Stuff like bread or mushroom stew comes easy to him after so many times of having to do it on the run. Bread is the only baking he won’t screw up.

Can cook meat well enough too, but doesn’t really do anything special to it (besides his sauces).

To elaborate: Over the unknown span of his life, he’s acquired these recipes for forgotten and questionable sauces that he’ll store in little jars and leave at your house for you to use. They’re odd, and the ingredients aren’t ever what you think might be edible, but they’re surprisingly tasty none the less. He likes to show you a new one every month or so to keep things fresh.

Pretty general about sweets, but has a severe love for chocolate, especially dark chocolate. Has never had one, but dreams about chocolate cake. It’s high on his bucket list and written another four times over.

One of his favorite things to do with you is bake, mainly because of how ruinous it always turns out. No matter your skill, Dream’s vibes decimates any luck the two of you will have while baking. It’s scientifically proven. You left the cupcakes in for a minute-JUST a minute over what they should’ve been and they came out rock solid. Dream tried to eat one anyway. Best part was watching him try to bite through the shell.)

(He thinks he’s over selling it, half-gnawing on the brown cupcake (it was supposed to be vanilla, he thought) and making stupid growls when his teeth barely break through the surface, but the feeling he gets when you start laughing hysterically next to him wipes away any negative thought he had and fills him with utter joy.

It's very late into the night, and you’re both a little loopy, but all the while you still lean against him as you giggle, the spot tingling where your hand rests on his arm.

His heart thumps crazily, before sinking. Oh god. He’s in love with you.)

#6: Technoblade-

Knows a lot, but very little. He can cook the meat perfectly fine, but there’s a difference between being cooked and tasting good. He doesn’t know how to season them. Salt is the bare minimum you get.

6th place ^^; sorry king.

He’s good with potatoes though. I like to think that the countless hours spent potato farming had to account for something. He likes having cheese and butter on them every once in a while, but for the most part just eats them salted like an animal. It’s practically a show to watch him eat a cooked potato in three bites without anything but salt on it.

Big man loves food though, even if he doesn’t eat like it. Steak and cooked fish are high on his list of foods, but only if it’s cooked by Philza. And eventually you fall into his “I trust to eat this from you” category as well, but he has a special place in his heart for Phil’s cooking. Rabbit stew is at the very top.

He also eats a lot, being 6’10 and 200 something pounds of muscle, gotta consume quite a bit to keep him moving.

As for the sweeter variety of food, he’s got a massive sweet tooth. The moment you make him an apple pie or honey candy or anything of the like, he’s immediately enamored with you. Sweet things are hard to come by on the smp, especially with how far out he lives, but it’s a secret weakness of his that is very easily exploitable.

(You’ll be the death of him, he thinks, watching you closely as you trudge your way through the freshly fallen snow towards his house. Your normal pack is lighter than it usually looks, and he worries that you may slip and hurt yourself on the ice before you make it to the door. But still, you keep walking until you're standing at his doorstep, fist raised to knock when he opens it for you.

You look surprised for a second, and then a grin splits your face and his heart races.

“I can’t stay for long,” you say, having spent at least 30 minutes to get there. “But I wanted to drop this off for you before you went out to hunt again.”

Out of the bag, you pull another smaller leather bag and hand it to him gently. It rests heavy in his palm, and for a moment he’s sure it’s ender pearls that you’ve brought him. But still he opens it, and he’s immediately taken aback by the smooth golden candies you brought him.

“They’re honey candies.” At this point you’re practically grinning. “I thought you might like some while I was making them last night.”

He doesn’t have to see his own face to feel the deep blush setting in on his cheeks and ears. You…. you’re so…… sweet. You are very…. sweet, he admits to himself, and he is very not attached to you. Not at all.)

#7: Fundy and Sapnap tie.

Fundy-

Has his old man's cluelessness but is a fast learner. He doesn’t have much time to expand his food repertoire so it’s pretty much the basic stuff that he’s eaten during the war or before that when he was younger.

He really likes cooking though, and will invite you to come cook with him for dinner or lunch if he wants to hang out. When they were together, Dream had given him an old dusty cookbook that had several recipes he hadn’t ever heard of before, so that’s where most of what he tries to make comes from. His favorite to date was a special mutton dish that he asked you to try with him on his last birthday. It was just the two of you, but he had never had so much fun before.

Doesn’t like eating fish however, there’s just some bad vibe he gets when he thinks about cooking one or catching one. (Desperately ignores the fish fucker. Desperately ignores the fish fucker. Despera-)

Loves sweet berries as treats, seeing as that’s the only sweet thing he grew up with. Not too big on other sweet flavors. Likes honey in his tea though.

7th place cooker, will get higher as he learns more dishes.

(He raises his wine high with a laugh, clinking your glass with it as you both giggle drunkenly.

The lamb you had cooked together turned out amazing, juicy and tender and flavored with crimson fungus juice. The recipe was from an old cookbook he had, he faintly remembers telling you, hiding the fact that it was Dream’s cookbook that he was given after a particularly nasty argument.

He doesn’t want to think about him, especially not while he’s with you. Especially not when it’s his birthday.

So instead he ponders the trip through the nether he took with you to harvest some of the fungi, how the juice was tangy and slightly bitter, but how it had done wonders when basted onto the meat while frying.

You had looked so happy when you two plated the dish, so proud of him, all in a way that Dream never was.

Even now, as you tiredly smile at him from across the table, cheeks pink and eyes focused solely on the moment you were sharing, he feels at peace for once. This is what contentment felt like. Oh, how he loves you so.)

Sapnap-

Shame the shit cooker. Ok ok, he’s not as bad as some of the others on this list, but that’s just because he can make a half decent breakfast. It’s not much competition.

Bad has desperately tried to teach this boy some cooking besides eggs and toast, but the only things that seem to have stuck are mashed potatoes and grilled pork chops. Neither of which he even likes enough to make often.

He prefers fish to meat, and would eat any kind of cod you offered to him. Likes smoked salmon a lot, it’s something Bad made for him a lot when he was younger. He tries to recreate the dish, but comes up short and feels disheartened when it isn’t like Bad’s. He’d appreciate any time you took with him to learn how to make the dish, and it wholly sticks to his mind afterwards. He never forgets the experience, and treasures it very closely.

Likes not-sweet sweets. Not bitter per say, but just not very sweet. He likes chewy taffy in particular, but the old lady kind that lasts 60 years but gets hard in 6 minutes after being exposed to open air. Gotta be polite about it too, or he’ll end up embarrassed and pout for an hour.

(He’s eaten 6 of those fucking taffies since you sat down on the couch, completely straight-faced as the two of you of you listen to Dream and George talking.

At this point you’re completely checked out of their conversation, solely focused on the taffy Sapnap keeps eating. Where does he even get those? How many does he have?? You’ve been friends with him long enough to have seen him pop a taffy every other second of the day. He seems to have a stash on him at all times tucked away, filled with paper-wrapped pastel covered sweets.

“Want one?” Sapnap asks, holding out a light blue taffy with a little star drawn in yellow dye on the wrapper.

“What?” Startled, you lean back a bit and realize you had been staring him down as he ate, and flush with how rude that probably seemed.

“Want a taffy? I don’t mind sharing with you, cutie.” He winks and offers the taffy again. “....” You gaze at the taffy curiously. You’ve never seen him offer another person one of his precious taffies before. Hmm. “...Yes, thanks.”

You take it delicately, unwrapping the wrapper and taking a bite of it experimentally. It’s very lightly sweet, soft and chewy and surprisingly pleasant.

Sapnap watches you from the corner of his eye, softly smiling when he sees you eat the rest of it. Glad to see someone else has good tastes around here.)

#8. George-

Meager man makes a meager meal. I said what I said!!! This flatbread boy knows diddly squat, and the only things he can cook successfully are bread and mushroom soup. Which he will make. And that’s all he’ll make. Any food that isn’t that is cooked by either Bad or Dream, and he’s still picky about it.

He’ll make you the soup and bread ladies and gents. I’m not saying they’ll taste great together, but he will definitely make them for you. Anything else he’s pretty critical about, and he doesn’t care much for treats or dessert. He does occasionally like dark chocolate though, which he and Dream will beg Bad to make for them. Soon he begs you to make it for him, and then you have to go ask Bad how he makes it so George won’t complain about how it tastes different from Bads. It’s a weird situation. You make a lot of chocolate. Dream and George linger at your house for weeks on end until you get fed up and shoo them away with a broom.

To his credit, even though he can’t cook much, he’s really proud of his mushroom stew. Any time you let him cook, his go-to is his mushroom stew. He likes to feed you and know that you’re not hungry somewhere, and to top it off he gets to show you his prized dish; not Bad’s or Dream’s stew, but his. He’s cute or whateva…

(George places the bowl down in front you, stepping back and turning to grab his own, before sitting down next to you. He immediately begins to eat, and you give him a half glance as you bring the soup up to smell it.

It… doesn’t smell that bad, actually. Not burnt, at least. You spoon some of the soup into your mouth.

Despite all you’ve seen of George’s cooking, this is pretty well made. It’s nice and warm, and the flavors are rich and the mushrooms soft. You choose to ignore the small smile of his face next to you, and keep eating your soup quietly together.)

#9: Wilbur

Wilbur can’t cook for shit. Literally nothing. This man knows apples grow from trees and that animals are made of meat and that’s it.

You think Wilbur made any of his food when he was president or exiled or ever? Not a chance. He ate anything given to him, Tubbo and Tommy absolutely brought this man all the food they could find so he wouldn’t get eat straight trash or starve throughout the presidency. Techno slid him bare cooked potatoes in Pogtopia and he thought “oh this slaps….. this is the pinnacle of food”

Which I know, not really sexy. But! This means that the moment you feed him something a step up from a bare cooked potato he is in food heaven. He especially loves saucier kinds of foods with lots of flavor and spice to them, it’s just so fucking good. Food becomes his kryptonite after you feed this silly man.

With sweets, however, he isn’t that much of a fan. He does like those small lemon creme crackers, and you and da boys are the only ppl he’ll share them with.

(You hear him before you see him. The familiar clambering at your window draws your attention away from the pork you were dicing, and one look over your shoulder shows a disheveled but grinning Wilbur.

“I hope I’m not too late for dinner.” He jokes, brushing off his pants before approaching you to press a kiss to your temple. Soon after that you hear another set of clambering, and two pairs of stomps reveals one Tommy and one Tubbo respectively.

“What’s for dinner tonight, mate?”

“Hope you don’t mind if we join in!”

You sigh, turning back to hide your smile before they can see it.)

// Hope you enjoyed! I might write a pt2 of this later with some other ppl in it lol we’ll see :3

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aquatic-bees · 2 years

Text

I am slowly realizing that there were so many signs I was trans and am trans but my memory is shit so I don’t remember all of them but there are a few that I do remember and I’m just wondering how I didn’t notice sooner.

Exhibit A: discomfort entering the girls restroom at school in 1st grade-present, looking at the boys restroom in envy, starring at the woman’s restroom sign as dread welled up in my stomach. The feeling of dread completely dispatching when I started going to the nurses restroom. The excuse being the lights would turn off to early in the girls restroom and would scare me.

Exhibit B: the body hair competition in kindergarten that I participated in. I lost and I just felt really sad and down in the dumps about it. And I just kinda sat at my table and wanted to cry.

Exhibit C: looking up how to fatten your chest on when YouTube when mine started to grow. Finding trans men on YouTube and taking their tips. Laying sports bras after sports bras, wearing up to six at a time. This was in 3rd-4th grade. Feelings of dread started to worsen. Going to the mens section of the store and buying those boy shirts. Wanting to cut my hair shorter and feeling really happy when I did but scared because I didn’t want anyone to be mad at me. Saying “I think my sister is trans” like I 100% knew the experience of being trans. Wondering why someone would call themselves a tomboy but not want to be actual boy/still want to call themselves a girl (That’s not an insult I just genuinely didn’t get it)

Exhibit D: becoming friends with a lot of trans people in 6th grade. Most of my friends are trans. “Queer people become friends with other queer people before they even realize they’re queer themselves.” The beginning of 6th grade I decided I would wear a skirt everyday. I succeeded but I started to feel really shitty because others would see me as a girl. And I started dreading going outside because leggings and skirts were the only things in my wardrobe. Leggings would just accentuate my hips and that’s why I would wear a skirt but wearing a skirt is seen as girly and feminine. Becoming friends with a friendly trans boy and pretending I didn’t know what “trans” was. Liking the “nickname” Tim a bit too much. Starting to feel a lot more uncomfortable with my all too feminine legal name. Still mentally denying I was trans but watching a lot of trans related YouTube videos. Relating to their experiences and wanting what they have. “I’m not trans I’m just really happy for them.”

Exhibit E: I bought my first chest binder from Amazon before one of my good friends moved away in seventh grade. “Maybe I’m trans but I don’t want to tell anyone.” I became “friends” with a different trans boy (he’s a dick) and craving his validation. When he asked me if I listened to cavetown and I said yes he just kinda walked away with a grumpy face and that made me feel like I was lying about being trans, “wait, no, I’m not trans. What are you talking about?” I stated feeling uncomfortable being in this friend group as my friend who moved away was the only one who made me feel safe. Telling the asshole’s sibling that I think it would be cool to be a femboy. The weight of the world on my lungs when I said that.

That’s about all I can remember but do you see what I mean? How did I not realize before? How did anyone not realize this before? I feel like my good friend and the asshole had speculations about it though. I mean considering I told my good friend I bought a chest binder and the asshole asking if I listened to cavetown. I don’t know if any of these were coherent thoughts. I’m hoping they were though. But I’m still having a difficult time accepting myself because “ I didn’t experience gender dysphoria as a child so clearly I’m not trans” even though writing it down looking back im pretty sure I did no matter how minuscule it was and also realizing I’m trans now is scaring. No one picked up on the signs when I was younger so it would be a shocker to now. My mother who is absolutely convinced I saw myself as a girl when I was like 6 would be very shocked to learn this information. I’m pretty sure I never though of myself as a girl when I was younger, I feel like I only really called myself a girl because that’s what I was taught to do, I never thought about it. I thought that was just how everyone felt yk? That’s why I never spoke up about it. It was mental not physical. I couldn’t just see or physically feel. It’s not asthma, I can’t just say the symptoms and have my mom take me to the doctor. That’s not how mental problems usually are.

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swimfuel · 3 years

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Hey!! The X-men are literally my favorite thing and I was wondering if you could elaborate on how Scott is a knight of doom

YES OF COURSE!!!! i'll put it under a cut since i tend to ramble a bit & i'm pulling a bunch of explanations from people smarter than i am

the knight weaponizes their aspect; they have an inherent understanding of their aspect that allows them to exploit it completely. doom is the aspect of systems, restrictions/limitations, sacrifices, and endings.

one of scott's core themes is reclaiming his restrictions in order to serve others/the greater good! he takes the possible liability that are his faulty powers and shifts them to become an advantage, largely through the strength of his restraint and discipline. his role as a tactician and the way he sees sacrifices (more on that later) also mesh EXTREMELY well with the knight of doom.

i feel like the Wh*don run (specifically astonishing x-men #22-23) really highlights how scott can turn a situation on its head through exploiting his disadvantages to the point where they become tactically advantageous!! like, let's count the ways:

the ship the x-men stole from kruun is obviously bugged, so his team won't be able to communicate without being overheard. he realizes this, and uses that restriction (being overheard) as an advantage, by falsifying their course of action.

he has been left "without his powers"—he presents a restriction that lowers the guard of his adversary and grants him entry to their home base. he then subverts this by exploding the shit out of everything when an opportune moment arrives

HE LITERALLY EXPLOITS DEATH...... HE EXPLOITS HIS OWN DEATH...................FOR THE GREATER GOOD..........DUDE???? someone get this man an advil

some more thoughts, followed by some examples by people smarter than me:

he exhibits a similar pattern of idolization/realization with xavier irt karkat/HICand dave/bro.... not sure if this by itself is a knight-y thing but i think the consistent disillusionment with their role in defending their aspect is interesting (aka knight burnout, more on that later)

he is def willing to sacrifice shit for the greater good of mutantkind. the shit in question sometimes being his closest friends and allies. the examples that stick out to me are how he allowed beast to get tortured (utopia era) while executing his plan to solve All His Problems At Once & also when he sent x-force to the future to defend hope knowing it was going to be a one-way trip

that entire issue revolving around just how GOOD scott is at self-repression😭😭😭 i'm pretty sure it's post-schism utopia era i don't remember the exact issue WAIT NVM i'm pretty sure it's uncanny #518

seeing phoenix!scott as an inversion to (rogue of) life is also an interesting concept (unchecked growth!)

the amount of responsibility he feels he has to take on (partially due to his idolization cycle w xavier/xavier's dream) is also both knight-y and doom-y

and of course the instinct to protect the people around him --> being expanded into the whole of mutantkind (which, in turn, expands his sense of obligation)

everything leading up to revolutionary cyclops is also very interesting through this framework because its reminiscent of the knights & doom players in hs! the "taking on an insane burden" (phoenix force, whatever whammied mituna) -> the "resignation to the fate handed to him by his aspect" (his stint in prison, dead daves, sollux in general) -> the "refusal to accept that fate" (prison break, dave not wanting to use time travel, sollux fucking off into the dreambubbles, karkat coming to terms w his relationship w leadership) --> experiencing knight burnout at the end of revolutionary era going into death of x

im not sure exactly how to put it into words but everything about his childhood/teenhood... like being surrounded by forces seeking to control him and use him for their own ends..... idk

(from @/land-of-classpects-and-analysis, sections highlighted red are of particular interest)

HIS GIANT STINKING MARTYR COMPLEX.....DUDE😭😭

side note & ive mentioned this before but scottjean is an interesting parallel to davejade in a way i cant verbalize

Then there are the ones who may accept [the fact of inevitable human suffering], and so choose to live in high alert of any danger - any threats - as well as living in fear of what harm may befall them and/or their loved ones. It is this third and final group of people that so deeply marks that of the Knight of Doom.

Now, this might cause a few eyebrows to become quirked. After all, a Knight? Being fearful of something - nevertheless that thing being related to their Aspect? Knights do often present themselves as ruthless and fearless warriors, yes, but that is only because their Aspects and the world around them raised and called them to act as such.

... A key factor in the Knight’s life, specifically before their journey truly begins, is that they are already well equipped with their Aspect.

... The Knight of Doom is one where their Aspect being all around them is far more bittersweet than anything else.

... What is important to acknowledge is that the facade the Knight of Doom puts up is not only to hide the fear they have for their Aspect, but it is most definitely there to hide the grief and pain they have not yet completely finished going through. Whether it’s been weeks or years, the Knight of Doom is someone who would rather hide themself away from these feelings than find a way to truly mend and heal them ... they have built a false wall between them and their suffering strong and thick enough to partially block it from their memory.

... Knights are known to become extremely stubborn whenever people try to order them around and pressure them into doing something, and the Knight of Doom is no different - especially if they believe what they are doing is for the greater good.

(from @/dahniwitchoflight)

Dahni’s Explanantion: “Doom can be a negative force that rejects and harms, fostering a sense of hostility or sadness. But, it is also the idea that you can pull backwards and cautiously and wisely withdraw into your own self. It can be the idea of Control taken from the sharp Black and White Restrictions that everything in the world gets sorted into. It understands community necessity and need, responsibly pulling back and lowering you down into its lap to help wind yourself down. Doom then is an ultimate gentle Equalizer, instilling its players with an internal sense of Acceptance and eventually true Wisdom.”

Knight of Doom: One who Exploits with Doom or Exploits Doom

Knights hide a fear of a perceived fundamental failure with their Aspect behind a shield of confidence and obsessive effort. Their challenge is to learn to take it down a notch and to understand that they are skilled enough

A Knight is very skilled with using the rules and limitations of any game or session to their advantage. They skillfully fulfill any responsibility or obligation required of them with ease. They might use their natural caution and pessimism to make realistic choices and endeavors. They use and exploit any rule or limit that they can to their advantage. They might also be very good at exploiting any sacrifices made or any obligation or responsibility that they are held to. They might be very good at avoiding any unnecessary thing or person and are very good at recognizing when something is too futile to even bother with.

Likewise they might only focus on the necessary things in their game or session so they are likely to not do much unless it’s absolutely necessary. They would very likely be very meticulous with themselves about following the rules properly and constantly restrict themselves, maybe thinking they aren’t following the rules properly enough or not following the right ones. They might sacrifice anything they consider unnecessary about themselves or the way they live, sometimes even going too far with it, in order to be considered or thought of as less useless. They’re always trying harder and holding themselves to extreme self-imposed standards.

They would likely wait for the opportune moment to strike, though they are slow to move or act, they always will when something necessary needs to happen. Out of all the Doom players, a Knight of Doom seems like the one most likely to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. A Knight of Doom can also expertly use and exploit fire, bombs and explosions to their advantage, maybe they create flashy distractions during fights. They might even use decaying or dying things to their advantage.

(from @/communistvriska)

Role in the Session: Rather like the Prince of Doom, this role’s title kinda has “edgelord” written all over it, but that’s not a set-in-stone character trait. The first thing that comes to mind re: what the Knight Class and the Aspect of Doom have in common is a strong sense of obligation. The Knight of Doom is bound to take their duties and responsibilities Extremely Seriously, perhaps rather too seriously at first ... Knights also tend to be very protective of both their Aspect as a concept, and of themselves and those close to them; while the Knight of Doom isn’t likely to be outwardly aggressive, given Doom’s reserved, slow-burn tendencies, woe betide those who try to deceive or confound the Knight or their allies. One of Doom’s internal contradictions (which I find personally fascinating) is that the aspect is associated both with cynical resignation and with a profound albeit restrained sense of passion and persistence. Doom is what’s left after everything else gets burnt away.

The Knight of Doom will likely be a very skilled combatant, as the Knight is a class strongly associated with Strife / battle, and Doom is one of the more overtly destructive Aspects. I’d put them in the Top 5 Roles to use a cool flamin sword, at least. They’re not going to be eager to fight, per se, but they’re not going to have much trouble scaling the echeladder when it comes to that either. Internally, they’re likely to struggle with a perceived (but largely imagined) inability to fulfill their duties, and they could well stumble once or twice in their quest to be perceived as reliable and stoic, or as someone who their friends can lean on. They’re probably doing more than enough already, but if they’re not careful they might overexert themselves and take on too heavy a burden, and they’re liable to be crushed by their own expectation that they face their challenges alone. This is going to factor into their capital-Q Quest and the environment of their planet, and will be the biggest obstacle in their path to Ascension. A Knight’s duty is to protect their co-players, but their co-players also have to support them.

#mail #scott summers

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kingofhearts709 · 3 years

Note

Prompt: bill and ted give each other haircuts

hello yes im sorry this is late but this is adorable and im happy to write this excellent prompt ❤️

A/N: SO! this came out SO MUCH LONGER than i expected. like i was just gonna cute-drabble it but then my brain was like "NO PERFECT CONCEPT MUST EAT IT." snd I'm very happy to have written it all. im setting this at like pre-excellent adventure.

anyways i hope you have a lovely day and to please enjoy this little thing 💓"

---

Ted blew his bangs out of his face for the fifth time since he'd sat down on Bill's bed, trying to focus on his comic and finding the ultimate difficulty in reading between the long strands. His hair almost reached past his shoulders, and Missy's abandoned scrunchies were starting to look most intriguing.

Bill was no better. Every time he ran his fingers through his hair, they wound up tangled. There was no way he'd be able to handle brushing it every single morning, but the habit of messing with his hair was too ingrained.

"Dude, we need haircuts," Bill grumbled as his forefinger caught on a twisty piece of fringe. "I'm gonna look like a seventies disco dude." Ted snickered at that, and Bill thwacked his chest lightly. "Shut up, Ted, I'm serious."

"Well, my dad won't even pay for a good haircut," Ted huffed, dropping his comic book and blowing his bangs away once more. "If he did, it'd be a buzz." He paused for a moment before suggesting, "You don't suppose Missy could cut our hair?" Bill let out a laugh.

"I would be most doubtful of her skills."

"Okay, well... How much do haircuts cost?"

"More than we can afford." Ted frowned and looked down. "My dad would probably just tell me to cut my hair myself if I asked." It went silent for a moment before a lightbulb lit up in Ted's brain, and he bounced on the bed with enthusiasm.

"...Well, why don't we?"

"Why don't we what, dude?"

"Cut our own hair!"

The idea thrown out to the wind sounded more than insane. Neither of them knew the first thing about cutting each other's hair, let alone their own.

But the thing about Bill and Ted was that, as long as they did it together, it was more than enough reason to say why not?

"Ted, my friend, your idea is definitely most forward-thinking!" Bill complimented, jumping up. "We both know what each other's hair looks like, so we'll totally be able to replicate it!"

The wide grin on Ted's face was enough to break it, jumping up with Bill and looking around.

"I'll go get hair stuff," Bill said as he rushed towards the door. "You get a chair set up." Ted nodded as Bill bolted from the room, going to the corner to grab an old twisty chair that they never used. It still twisted, and was just about the right height for cutting hair, it seemed.

Ted was testing the chair by spinning in fast circles when Bill came back in with a pair of kitchen scissors and two huge towels. He swayed a little as he regained his normal vision from spinning, seeing that Bill was also carrying a spray bottle filled with water, a brush and comb, and a tube of hair product.

"I grabbed some other stuff from Missy's counter, too," Bill said as he dropped it all down on the bed. He picked up the tube and read it, "Something called...'Gar-near Fruck-tiss.' The instructions say it makes your hair smooth." Ted gave an intrigued head tilt before giving a nod and a smile.

"Well, dude, smooth me!" Ted joked, and Bill gave him a look before they found themselves air-guitaring.

Bill wrapped one of the towels around Ted's neck and shoulders, making sure he pulled his hair out from underneath. Bill leant down to assess it, squinting to see if it would help him decide on a course of correct action.

"How short should I cut it, dude?" Bill finally asked. Ted brought up a hand and hovered it palm down before holding it right where his chin ended as reference, and Bill nodded, picking up the spray bottle and spraying Ted's entire head all over until his hair went damp through.

"Bill, you are most concentrated," Ted hummed as Bill ran the comb through his hair to measure it down. It was already frayed from whenever his last haircut had been, it seemed. "Do you actually know what you're doing?"

"Uh...," Bill hummed, shrugging. "I used to watch my mom get her hair cut before when I was a little kid, I guess. They always wet your hair and then do this trippy snippy thing."

Ted snorted as Bill snipped the scissors a couple of times in the air before diving into Ted's hair, holding the length to cut off between his fingers and slowly scissoring away.

It was quiet while Bill worked on his hair, Ted doing his best to keep still, even if he really wanted to turn his head and see exactly what was happening. The only sounds filling the room were Bill walking around him and the snip of the scissors.

As soon as Bill cut off the last edge of Ted's hair, he stepped back and studied his work, furrowing his brows before grinning.

"Dude, I totally nailed you!" he exclaimed, and the redness to Ted's cheeks caused him to add on, "Uh- Your hair, I mean. It looks most bodacious." Ted looked around the room frantically for any reflection, and jumped when Bill held up a mirror in front of his face.

Bill really had done an excellent job. His hair was back to its regular length, hanging right around his chin. His bangs were still a problem, though, and he looked over at Bill and gestured to them.

"Oh, dude, yeah," Bill huffed as he dropped the mirror back where he'd grabbed it and picked up the scissors again. "Sorry, Ted, I forgot your main problem is your egregiously long bangs."

"They're like curtains for my face, duder," Ted hummed as Bill began to separate the bangs from the rest of his hair. He cursed when he grabbed too much of Ted's already-trimmed sections before Ted spoke up, "Oh, dude, grab one of Missy's scrunchies!" Bill raised a brow before following Ted's gaze to the bedside table, where about four of Missy's scrunchies were sitting. How they got there, Bill personally didn't want to think about it. Regardless, he went over to grab one and handed it over to Ted so he could pull his hair back and let Bill have full reign on his bangs.

"Where do they usually end?" he asked as he eyeballed possible measurements with his fingers. His face wasn't unreasonably close to Ted's, considering the circumstances, but it still made Ted nervous.

"Just, like, enough so I can see okay, I guess," Ted said, and Bill nodded as he took the comb and brushed his bangs even before sticking the handle in between his teeth and bringing the scissors up.

At this angle, Ted could see Bill's entire process as he watched his hair being snipped off. The way his face was scrunched in concentration, his gentle movements to make sure he wasn't tugging Ted's head any direction.

He didn't realise Bill was finished until he saw his reflection in the mirror when it was held up.

He looked good, if not better than before, with Bill's handiwork.

"How'd I do, dude?" Bill asked, and Ted reached up to touch his already drying hair. "Want me to put the Fruck-tiss in it?"

"Uh- Yeah, dude, sure." Ted looked over to see Bill grabbing the tube and opening it up, squirting a generous amount into his palm. "Do I have to wash it out?"

"Uh...," Bill turned the tube in his hand and scrunched his nose, shaking his head. "It says to leave in for fifteen minutes and your hair will be, 'smooth and sleek.'" He looked up. "Ready?"

"Yeah, Bill."

After a moment, Ted felt Bill's hands and fingers running right through his hair, keeping away from his scalp as per the instructions on the tube. It was smooth and gentle and overall intimate the way Bill paid careful attention to Ted's hair, running his fingers through. He might've put too much product in, but they could always wash it out if needed.

"Alright!" Bill said when the product was more or less incorporated. "You have been fully transformed into your most authentic self, my friend!"

"Dude, excellent!" Ted said as Bill took the towel off of him, trying not to get the hair everywhere (it already was, but that was beside the point). "My turn, Bill!" Ted stood up and took an exaggerated bow towards the twisty chair, gesturing for Bill to take a seat. Bill bowed back before dropping down and smiling.

Ted mimicked his actions from earlier, draping the towel around his neck and grabbing the spray bottle. However, Bill's hair was curly and almost like a jewfro, and he briefly wondered how he was going to cut it down.

"Dude, I don't think water is going to help," Ted said as he looked around at Bill's head. "You do have one stellar mullet now, but the rest is growing up." Hesitantly, he ran his fingers gently through Bill's curly hair, feeling just how insanely tangled it was. Bill briefly shivered at the motion, telling himself internally to just relax.

He'd already cut Ted's hair, so he should know what to expect, but still, the shock of actually feeling Ted's hands and fingers gave him the most unusual of feelings in his chest. He wasn't necessarily sure if they were nerves or emotions, but either way, it sent a shiver down his spine every time Ted's skin connected to him.

Bill bit the inside of his cheek as Ted stuck his tongue out and tested a single lock of hair, snipping off the end before grinning, nodding as he started to continue.

"Dude, it's like trimming a bush!" he laughed as he went all around, mimicking Bill once more by holding each lock between his fingers. Bill's blond hair fell and separated with each snip that the scissors gave. Ted's movements were slow and calculated, his genuine care for making sure he cut Bill's hair in the most correct way making Bill feel a little more than special.

It took Ted longer than it took Bill to finish up, giving a lock one last cut before jumping back and grinning as he crossed his arms.

"Dude, how is it?" Bill asked, gesturing. "Gimme that mirror!" Ted straightened up as he remembered, turning in a couple of circles before picking it up off the the bed and holding it up.

Ted hadn't done a terrible job, he had to admit. He turned his head back and forth, his smile growing as he saw Ted show up behind him in the reflection. He took a hand and ran it through his hair front to back.

It took Bill a second before he concluded that Ted forgot to cut off his mullet, and he grinned with a scoff.

"Dude, you totally missed the back," Bill said, his hand flipping the hair in Ted's view. Ted frowned as he stood up straight and tilted his head.

"Did I, dude?" he raised his eyebrows, reaching down to move Bill's away and examine it. "Bill, if I might be totally honest, you have always had this mullet, though I will admit it's much longer than normal..."

"No way, dude," Bill rolled his eyes in response. "Gimme those scissors." He reached back to grab the utensil from Bill's hand, a most dangerous risk. Ted, however, held back the pair with a grin.

"Dude, you'll be a total mullet-head!" Ted laughed as he turned and jumped up on the bed, knocking a couple of the items onto the floor. Bill spun around in his seat and looked at the scissors clasped wrong-way-up in Ted's fist.

Bill eyed him for a long moment before bolting up from the chair in a lunge, a total disregard for all those 'safety with scissors' rules from grade school. Ted leaped off the bed for the corner, Bill chasing him there. They could only run around in the small confines of Bill's room, so there weren't many places for Ted to go, nor space to make between himself and Bill.

It became apparent when Ted got onto the bed again and Bill fully tackled him so he had him trapped underneath.

Ted was still laughing even when Bill had him pinned by the wrists and was currently looking down on him with the most fondest of looks, a huge smile gracing his entire face.

"Dude," Ted said through chuckles as he flipped his newly cut bangs away from his eyes, "you look definitively bodacious with your mullet. I think you should keep it." Bill tilted his head.

"Ted, my friend, there is nothing in your head that could ever convince me." Ted let out a laugh before he looked at it over Bill's shoulder, comtemplating.

"I like it on you, dude."

It didn't take long for Bill's brain to immediately agree with that statement.

"You think so, dude?" Bill found himself asking, and Ted looked back to Bill's face, smiling with a nod.

"Most triumphantly." The words put a smile on his own lips, and the warm, butterfly-feeling in his chest was new but most definitely welcome as he squeezed Ted's wrists.

"Well, then, Ted, my most excellent and esteemed partner, I suppose I must keep it just for you."

#the king speaks #bill and ted #bill s. preston esq.#ted theodore logan #bnt #im so so so sorrh this took so long #ily 🎸#bill and ted's excellent adventure #bill and teds bogus journey #bill and ted face the music

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

Note

please give me Anything himbo roger i need this like perhaps... him being obsessed with eating pussy? pls? - cloud anon

I’m so so so glad you requested more himbo rog because i love any excuse to write him lmao. This is a bit of a long one, certainly well over blurb length but what are you gonna do. I just have a lot of thots where himbo rog is concerned and then there was that convo a little while ago about dressing him in a maid uniform and I had to use it in here.

warnings: smut, hypnosis & bimbofication, dom!reader, fingering, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, a little bit of spanking, a little choking, a very brief mention of public sex, free use (perhaps leaning ever so slightly into consensual non consent), humiliation and degradation

Blurb Advent: Day 15

Future Management Series (all my bimbo/himbo writing)

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

The costume shop was quiet when you entered it, one of the fluorescent lights at the far end flickering. The lady at the counter looked up from her magazine, her gaze lingering on Roger for a moment before she looked back down.

“What was the theme again?” you asked Roger as you flicked through a rack of women’s costumes.

“The letter M,” he replied from one of the other racks.

“How did Freddie pick that?”

“Dunno, you’d have to ask him. Bigger question is what are we going to wear.”

“What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” you shrugged.

“That sounds easy. And we’d look cute as fuck.”

“Sorry, hun,” the woman at the counter piped up, “Sold out of them two days ago.”

“Rats.”

“Mice, love,” Roger teased poking his tongue out as he went to check out another row of costumes, “We could make them from scratch I suppose.”

“Left it a bit late though. We’re meant to have them by Saturday.” You headed to the counter in the hopes that the woman there would be able to speed things up, “Do you have any other costumes starting with M then?”

She sighed as she were being interrupted in a very important task before putting down her magazine and pulling out a binder full of lists of stock. Flicking through it she located the section with M. An awful lot of it had been crossed out.

“How many people are invited to this thing? And do they all shop here?”

He shrugged as he joined you at the counter, “Roughly half of London if his last party was anything to go by. What are our options?”

The women smiled at Roger, her attitude becoming much friendlier now that he was involved, “Not a lot I’m afraid. We’ve still got a Mummy, as in Ancient Egypt, ummm, a Maid, as in French, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Poppins, a Monk, Mrs Clause, Medieval Princess…”

“Looks like you’ll be easy to sort out,” Roger said to you, “not much in the way of mens costumes though. I’d be an alright Mummy I guess,”

“Sorry, should have specified. It’s a women’s costume that one. Very sexy,”

“How do you make a Mummy sexy?”

“Strategically removed bandages. I can show you if you like,” she said this last part to Roger, suggestion dripping from every word.

“What about the Monk?” you suggested.

“Ehhhh,”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Rog.”

“Alright, it’s the backup idea. Would I be able to fit in any of those other costumes though?”

The woman thought about it, giving Roger a once over as if measuring him with just her eyeballs, “The Maid maybe. Think we should have one large enough.”

“Alright I’ll try that.”

“And I’ll go Marilyn Monroe?”

“You as Marilyn? Oh there’s a joke in there somewhere…something about How To Mary A Millionaire?”

You shook your head at him, “Just go and try on your dress,”

It was a good thing Roger had no qualms about cross dressing because the maid outfit fit perfectly. One look at Roger’s legs in the short, ruffled skirt had your mind whirring with ideas. He bought both your costumes, adding in a maid’s headband and fishnet stockings for himself and a blond Marilyn wig for you. And on Saturday night you watched him don the outfit once more, struggling to keep your hands off him. Without you knowing, he’d gone and bought himself a pair of simple black heels, explaining that if he was going to do it he might as well do it properly. Unfortunately for you they just emphasised the shape of his legs in the fishnets and made his hips sway as he walked.

The party itself was fun but you constantly found yourself zoning out, thinking about what you’d like to do to Roger before he got out of the dress.

“Love?” he asked, making you blink yourself back to the thumping music and loud voices, “You alright?’

“Fine,” you nodded.

Roger frowned and grabbed your hand, leading you away from the main throng of people, “You’ve been zoning out all night, are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t had too much to drink or anything?”

“No, it’s fine. Someone lit up a joint before and I must have breathed in some of it without meaning to.”

He gave you a look like he knew there was more to it.

“Also, maybe I can’t stop thinking about trancing you in that dress.”

“Oh,” his eyes widened and if it hadn’t been as dark as it was you would have seen a light pink stain creeping up his neck. He glanced around and then pulled you off down the hall and towards an even quieter spot, “and um, what might that look like?”

“I don’t know, got a few ideas,” your breath hitched as Roger pushed you into a dark corner of whichever room you’d ended up in, “like the idea of you on your knees. Bet I could see your arse if you leaned forward enough.”

Roger attached his lips to your throat, oblivious of if anyone else was around.

“Maybe spanking you or edg – ” you were cut off as Roger kissed you full on the mouth, his hands already working at getting his underwear and stockings down far enough to get his dick out.

“We’ll continue this conversation at home,” he said as he lifted you up, pushing your back against the wall as he moved your underwear aside.

It took a couple of days for the topic to come up again but Roger was still just as into it as he had been at the party. He’d clearly been thinking about it too because he had almost as many ideas as you did and for a week or so you discussed it on and off. It came up intermittently, sometimes a single idea out of nowhere.

“What if you tranced me and made me think I was your maid or uhhh servant? Maybe like acted really strict? Or mean even?”

“What about I get a bell to ring to get your attention but use the hypnosis to condition you to get hornier when you hear it?”

Or sometimes it was more of a conversation with each of you building on what the other said.

“What do you think about exploring that free use thing we talked about a few months ago? Like me just having you how I want and when I want.”

“Would that require a more extended hypnosis? A whole day maybe? More?”

“No I don’t think so. I mean, maybe longer than the usual couple of hours. An afternoon? Not longer than a day though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to you.”

“Then yeah okay, we did agree it sounded hot in a non-hypno way so mixing them together should work. Um, what about that pegging thing we tried?”

“You wanna do it again?”

“Yeah I think so. Again, it was pretty hot last time so doing it while I’m hypnotised can only be better, right?”

“Are you sure? We’re both pretty new to it.”

“Yeah I’m sure. I really enjoyed it,” he laughed nervously, “and I would have suggested doing it again anyway, this just seems like a good excuse.”

By the end of the week you had a pretty solid idea about what you were both looking for from the scene and what you’d both feel comfortable doing. And you arranged it so you were both at home on Friday, free to spend the morning relaxing and the afternoon playing.

After an early lunch in which you made sure to mess up the kitchen, Roger went and changed, once again putting on the dress, fishnets, hair piece and shoes. Only this time he wore one of your thongs, sheer black, underneath and a butt plug you’d picked up for him, complete with a pink jewel on the end. For your part, you dressed in one of your work outfits with a grey pencil skirt and white blouse, hopeful that it would make you seem more authoritative. Roger did a little spin for you when he was dressed and then sat in one of the kitchen chairs so you could talk him down into his trance. The scenario you’d agreed upon had him believing he was your silly brainless maid, hired to do whatever you asked. The sound of your bell meant you had another task for him, but it also made him extra horny. So horny in fact that he’d have trouble remembering what he was meant to be doing. As you dropped him deeper and he relaxed more, you noticed his legs spreading further open, making you laugh to yourself. Finally you rang the bell to wake him.

Roger grinned at you from the chair, “What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Your first job of the day, Dummy,” you said, putting on a stern voice that left no room for argument, “is to dust off the bookshelf in the living room. It’s filthy up there.”

“Where?”

“Through this doorway,” you pointed and he dutifully stood up and began to walk toward it.

“You’ll need a duster,” you reminded him.

“Oh! Of course, Ma’am. Umm….”

“In that cupboard,”

Roger nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment and retrieved the feather duster.

You followed him out to the living room, watching his skirt bounce with each step. He started off with the shelves at eye level, humming to himself as he brushed the duster over them, but soon had to move on to the shelves higher up. You perched yourself on the couch, acting as if you were reading though your eyes were on Roger, watching as he wobbled on his tip toes, his skirt riding up. You rang the bell and Roger jolted, looking around for you as he bit his lip.

“Yes Ma’am?”

“I think you might need to stand on a chair, Dummy. It doesn’t seem like you can reach the top shelves.”

He nodded and hurried to retrieve one, nearly running in his haste to please you.

The chair was a stroke of genius on your part. It gave you a good view up his skirt as he happily continued his dusting, especially when he leant over to get the far end of each shelf without moving his chair. You could clearly see the pink jewel every time and it made you eager to get him onto the next task. With another ring of the bell Roger jumped down to the ground and hurried to ask what he could do now.

“My shoes,” you said, pointing at the heels on your feet, “they need polishing. I want you to spit shine them for me.”

Roger blinked at you.

You clicked and pointed at your shoes again, “On your knees. C’mon, I’m not paying you to stand around and look pretty. Lick my shoes clean.”

“Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am,” he bowed his head and dropped to his knees where he stood, crawling over to you.

“Good Dummy,” you said as he trailed his tongue over the toe of your shoe. You’d wiped down the shoes earlier just to make sure Roger wouldn’t pick up any germs from them, but he was too brainless to notice they were already clean, enthusiastically licking at them. You made it clear you were watching him closely though. Midway through the second shoe you saw him brush his hand over the front of the skirt and stopped his shoe shining.

“I’m sorry, Dummy, is this making you horny?”

“Yes, Ma’am, it is,”

“Show me how much,” you wiggled your shoe under the hem of the skirt and pressed it lightly up, rubbing the toe against his crotch, “Hump my shoe, Maid.”

Without any more encouragement he began doing exactly as you’d asked, dragging his clothed cock along the top of your shoe, letting his eyes shut as he bit his lip.

“Alright, enough.” You pulled your food free and held it out in front of you, “Is it my imagination or did you make a mess on my shoe?”

He tilted his head to the side.

“I think you’re so fucking horny you’ve got precum all over my shoe. Is that right?”

“I don’t know,”

“Well,” you grabbed him by the hair and pushed him over the streak, “clean it up and tell me.”

Roger whimpered as you pulled his hair to move him where you wanted but thanked you for helping him and confirmed you were right. After that you felt he deserved a reward so you readjusted yourself, pulling your pencil skirt a little higher up your legs before you rang the bell again.

Roger groaned quietly at the sound, his breathing a little harder than before and then sat back. His eyes fell to where your skirt was gathered against your thigh as you crossed your legs.

“What now Ma’am?” he watched closely as you recrossed your legs, “Is there something else you’d like me to lick?”

“I don’t know. Is there something else you’d like to lick?”

He nodded, eyes still firmly on your thighs.

“Aren’t you just a pathetic little slut.”

“Am I?”

“I’m afraid so. Do you understand why?”

Roger nodded, still staring at your crotch, and then shook his head.

“Oh Dummy. It’s one thing to be my good little maid and eat me out when I tell you to, it’s entirely different for you to ask to do it. Do you see how slutty that makes you?”

Roger tilted his head and then shook it.

You tutted at him and knocked the bell as if on accident.

He whined at the sound.

“Crawl to the dining room. I want you to wash the floor in there.”

“But…please? I want to lick you soooooo bad and I’d be so good at it.”

“Careful, Maid. Now crawl.

“Yes Ma’am.” Roger dipped his head in apology and began crawling to the next room.

You stepped around him to retrieve a bucket of water and a cloth, placing both on the floor of the dining room where he stopped, “You know what to do.”

He looked at the bucket and back to you, confusion written all over his face.

With an exaggerated and exasperated sigh you handed him the cloth and, taking hold of his wrist, plunged his hand into the warm water. He gasped as you then wrenched it free and dropped it to the floorboards.

“Scrub.”

He nodded, looking mildly upset and dragged the cloth slowly over the floor.

You watched for a little while before coming up behind him, “Put your back into it, stop being lazy.” you pressed his upper back with your foot to make him bend forward.

His neck and face were bright pink, though it was hard to say whether it was arousal or embarrassment that was making him flush more. He did as you asked though, scrubbing the floor harder. You stepped behind him again, admiring the view and occasionally reminding him what you expected. After you felt you’d watched him struggle enough you stepped up behind him again. He pushed the cloth harder, expecting another reprimand. Instead you trailed you hand over the curve of his arse, pushing his skirt up higher.

Roger stilled, though you heard him whine softly into the floor.

“You’re doing a very good job, Dummy.”

He gasped when you suddenly spanked him but he pushed his arse back against your hand.

“You want another?”

He shook his head but kept pressing back against you.

“But I think you do,” You gave him another spank, “Now keep being good and see if you can earn some more.”

He nodded and smiled, though there were tears in his eyes, and then returned to scrubbing the floor.

You let him go for a while, stepping out into the other room to calm down and get ready for the next part of the plan. You could feel your wetness pooling in your underwear with how turned on you were at ordering Roger around and how much he was enjoying it. Originally you were going to make him wait to get you off until after you’d fucked him but perhaps you could have your cake and eat it too. All the same you headed to the bedroom to gather the strap and dildo you’d bought when the topic of pegging had first arisen between you. You grabbed them and the lube and then put them down again as you considered your next move. The conclusion you came to was that there wasn’t much point having a desperate bimbo toy if you were only going to deny yourself. Roger came as much as he wanted when you were the one under his influence, so why shouldn’t you do the same. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear, and then picked everything up again, dropping it on the couch in the living room on your way back to see how Roger was getting along. He was still scrubbing though he’d spilt some of the water as he’d moved the bucket, the top of his dress wet in patches. You pulled out one of the chairs, standing in front of it as you rang the bell, and watched as Roger squirmed at the sound.

“What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Come here.”

He immediately dropped the cloth and crawled towards you.

“Good Dummy. Need your fingers to make me feel good.” You rucked your skirt up and dropped onto the seat, placing one leg up on the table.

Rogers eyes lit up and he leaned forward as if to lick hungrily along your slit.

You grabbed his hair and held him back.

“Ma’am?” Roger whined, struggling against your grip with his tongue hanging out, desperate to reach your cunt.

“I said fingers, slut.”

Roger whimpered again but brought his hand up, trailing his fingers along your slit.

“That’s right Dummy. You’re gonna finger me and make me cum and you’re going to keep your eyes up here so I know you’ll behave yourself.”

He nodded rapidly, his eyes on yours, “You’re wet,”

“You know how much I like watching your cute little arse work. C’mon, finger me,” you instructed, waiting until he’d sunk one digit into you before continuing, “Love seeing you with that pretty plug. Makes me want to use you.”

“Ma’am can I…?”

“I didn’t say you could talk. Focus.”

Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his finger out and pressed it back in.

“You look confused Slut. What’s the matter?”

“Is this good?”

You smiled indulgently at that, half convinced he’d been about to ask to eat you out again, “So good Dummy. Add a second finger.”

He did as you asked, automatically curling them against you as he pulled them out.

“You’re such a good, obedient servant.” You relaxed back into the chair, letting Roger find a good rhythm.

He was quiet for a bit, concentrating, and then “Can I lick you now?”

You made a tutting noise, “I thought you understood your position.”

“Pos-tition?”

“I guess I have to explain it again then. I don’t care if you like licking cunt, this isn’t about you. You’re my maid. Your job is to serve me however I want, remember? I don’t care if you want something different. You’re mine to use how and when I want. Those were the conditions I hired you under, do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am,”

“Are you sure? Then why haven’t I cum yet?”

Roger kept his eyes locked on yours as he sunk a third finger into you, pumping them faster and bringing his other hand up to rub your clit.

“Better,” you managed to get out, though it was much breathier than you’d intended.

Roger poked his tongue out between his teeth as he put all his energy into pleasuring you. You let your head drop back, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts as he sank his fingers deep into you, his other hand firmly occupied too. He slid his thumb between your lips and up to circle your clit, spreading your arousal over your cunt. The mixture of sensations sent you over the edge without too much delay, your legs clamping shut to keep his hand where you wanted it until you’d come down. Afterwards you made Roger hold his fingers up, cleaning them off with your own tongue. He whined and pouted as he watched you lick up your juices, so desperate to taste you for himself. You gave him a small concession though, grabbing his cheeks when you were done to force his mouth open. He looked confused as you brought your face close and spat onto his tongue, your saliva tinged with what you’d just licked from his fingers. But he thanked you with a big smile and a small hum of satisfaction as he swallowed it.

“What now Ma’am?” he asked softly, sitting up straighter and glancing at the bell.

You bumped the bell against your palm as if in thought, watching Roger wince with each ring, “The kitchen needs a tidy up. Go in there and wipe down all the benches for me, okay? I’ll be back soon to check on you.”

Roger nodded and walked on unsteady legs back through the house. You followed him, needing to point him in the right direction a couple of times, and then continued on to the living room to collect your supplies and remove your skirt. It took you a little while to figure out the harness. Last time Roger had helped you get set up so doing it on your own was a little confusing. You took a breath and reminded yourself you were a smart and capable woman and that you could figure out a simple sex toy on your own, and eventually got it on right. When you were comfortable you popped open the lube and spread more than you thought you’d need along the shaft of the toy. It still felt a little bizarre to look down and see a penis, even if it was obviously fake. The first time you’d tried it on you’d wondered aloud if the work you did for those living rough would have been easier to achieve if you had a real one and Roger had suggested you wear it to work one day and find out. You’d laughed at how ridiculous that was and the memory made you chuckle again as you double checked everything was in the right place.

Roger was in the kitchen when you arrived, standing at the bench with a cloth in his hand, humming to himself, though he seemed to have forgotten what he was meant to be doing. You stepped behind him and ran your hand up the inside of his thigh, over the stockings.

The humming stopped and he stilled, “Ma’am?”

“Bend over.”

He did as you asked, his chest and arms leaning on the bench.

You felt him up, letting your hands roam under his skirt, brushing over his cock and along his thigh and over his arse, making his shiver and whine. “Good thing this dress is so short, Dummy. Makes it so much easier for me. And it makes you look like a slut. You’re very hard by the way, does that mean you like it when I tell you what to do?”

His voice was soft when he spoke to the bench top, “Yes, Ma’am,”

“That’s good because I like telling you what to do. And you should be happy to know that I’m wet from watching my brainless maid working all day.”

“I am happy!”

“You are?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe I could help you Ma’am, I love cunt so much.”

“Aww Dummy,” you cooed, stroking your fingers through his hair, “That’s sweet of you to offer but it’s not what I want right now,” you took the fishnets in both hands and tugged until a rip formed right along the back, “For now I want you to stay bent over for me so I can use you. Just like I talked about before, remember?”

“When you said I’m yours to use how you want?”

“You do remember! Good boy!”

“And you said, ummmm,” he gasped as you moved his underwear aside and began slowly working the plug out of him, adding lube to make it easier

“Go one, what else did I say?” you asked as you pushed the plug back in, fucking him with it, adding more lube as necessary.

“Umm, you said they were the,” he stretched out the word as he thought hard, “oh! The co-com-bit-ons and that its, umm, my job to serve you?”

“Very good! That was so much to remember, I’m very impressed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Dummy. I think I’ll have to give you a reward for remembering it all so well.”

Roger looked over his shoulder at you, grinning, “Thank you Ma’am,”

“Alright, turn back around, I’m still going to use you. Because….?”

“Because I’m yours?”

“Good boy,” you pulled the plug free and placed it on the bench beside you. Squeezing some more lube onto your fingers you began spreading it over his arsehole.

“‘s cold,” he said softly to the bench.

“I know baby, but it won’t be for long. And I gotta make sure there’s enough so that I don’t hurt you. And then you’ll be all ready for my cock.”

Roger nodded, flattening himself on the bench as you lined up the tip of the dildo and slowly sank into him.

Roger made a high pitched keening noise and you reached out to stroke his hair again as he adjusted.

“You okay, baby?” you asked letting the stern act drop for a moment.

Roger nodded, “yeah, ‘m okay. Just feels funny.”

“But good though?”

“Mmhmm. Good.”

“Good. I want you to like it. It’s more fun when you do.”

“I do!” as if to prove it he pushed his hips back, making you sink a little deeper.

“I can see that,” you laughed, “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay Dummy, and you’re going to enjoy it, right?”

He nodded, whining as you pulled your hips back slowly and then thrust forward again, figuring out your rhythm and adjusting to the sort of muscle movement it required. As you got more comfortable with it you let yourself be a little firmer, grasping Roger’s waist and fucking him harder, drawing more gasps and whines and moans from him. You varied your speed, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, keeping Roger from knowing exactly what you would do next (and giving yourself a break every so often). He’d taken your instruction to enjoy it to heart though. His fingernails scraped along the top of the bench as he tried to ground himself, rocking his hips back against you whenever you slowed.

“I want you to cum, Dummy. Rub your cock through your pretty sheer panties.”

“Th-through?”

“Over your panties.”

“Um,”

You stilled your hips and pulled out of him so you could grab his hand and lift his skirt, placing his palm over his cock, “now rub.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he began to stroke himself. His hand stilled as you plunged into him again but a warning word made him remember what you wanted and he shakily followed your orders as you fucked him hard.

“How does it feel, Maid, being used for my entertainment?”

Roger babbled something incomprehensible in response. You couldn’t tell if it was just noise or if he’d been trying to form words but it was hot either way.

“C’mon, show me how much you like being my pretty little fuck doll. Be the pathetic little slut I know you are, and cum.” You panted between the words but Roger didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t care. It must have sounded authoritative enough because a few seconds later he was moaning, his fingers twitching and legs shaking as he came. You slowed to a stop and replaced the dildo with his plug again before fixing his underwear and smoothing down his skirt.

“There, all pretty again,”

“Thank you Ma’am,” he sighed.

You patted his head, “Finish up cleaning off the benches in here and I’ll have another job for you.” You walked off, releasing a long breath once you were out of his hearing.

In the time it took you to get out of the harness, put your skirt back on, throw the dildo into a sink of hot water and relocate the bell, Roger achieved very little. He hadn’t moved from where you’d bent him over though he had stood up and grabbed his cloth again, drawing circles with it over the benchtop. When you came back to get him for his next job he was shifting from foot to foot.

“What’s the matter, Dummy?”

“Nothing,”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded though he didn’t meet your eye.

“Tell me.”

“My panties…”

“Aww, is it a bit uncomfortable?”

He nodded vigorously.

“Well maybe I can distract you.” You rang the bell and watched as his eyes glazed over and his hips jolted. “The bed needs to be made Dummy. Go on, off you go.”

He nodded and hurried off, his heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, his step awkward as he squirmed in discomfort. You followed him and showed him where to get a clean sheet from, watching as he pottered around the bed pulling off all the bedding, throwing them into a pile on the floor. Putting a new fitted sheet on the mattress seemed to be too hard a task though. It was almost cartoonish how much he struggled, placing the wrong corner of the sheet on the wrong corner of the bed and then somehow repeating the same mistake when he tried to turn the sheet around. He wouldn’t stand still, uncomfortably dancing around in his cum soaked underwear, getting more and more frustrated as the corner he thought he’d got on flew up when he tried to fit the next one. Every so often you jangled the bell under the guise of getting his attention to give him a helpful tip or reprimand him for taking so long, but it had the added effect of turning him on more than he already was, his face flushed and his eyes begging. You let him continue for a few minutes and then, when he next turned in response to your bell, you surprised him by pushing him onto the mattress.

“Ma’am?” he asked, voice trembling as you positioned yourself on his thigh and pushed his dress up.

“You made such a mess before, didn’t you? Ruined your panties and I’m afraid it’s spread to your pretty dress,” you showed him the patches on the inside of the skirt from where it had rubbed against the sheer fabric of his knickers and been stained. “Lucky for you I like messy little sluts. And” you palmed him roughly, “I think you like it too. Already hard again?”

Roger shook his head but tilted his head back and whined.

You placed your hand over his throat, “Don’t lie to me, Maid. I can see it; I can feel it. You’re a dirty little slut who gets off on being my property. My dumb little fuck doll.” You punctuated the last sentence by grinding against his thigh with each word, squeezing his length through his stained underwear. “I’m going to make you cum again now and if you’re good I might see about letting you eat me out. I did promise you a reward earlier,”

“Please,” Roger whimpered, “I’ll make you feel so, so good.”

“I know, Dummy. But not yet.” You squeezed his throat at the same time you rubbed your hand over his cock, choking off the moan that had begun to build. Roger squirmed under you as you wanked him off, cooing at him about how pretty he looked and how wet it was making you. Each stroke along his shaft was accompanied by a breathy whine or moan, his head tilted back and his eyes fluttering shut. It was always fun to watch Roger be pushed towards release when he was tranced. It was fun when he wasn’t hypnotised either but there was something about taking his brain away that made him more animated and vocal. He babbled at you again, his hand grabbing your wrist as he got closer, his back arching as he tried to buck his hips up into you.

“Good boy, good Dummy,” you praised him as he finished, able to feel the warmth of his release fill the material again as you kept stroking him, milking every drop you could. He whined loudly as he became more sensitive, but you kept toying with him until tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Alright, Dummy, stay there while I take my skirt off.”

Roger remained lying where you left him, so you gave him a soft kiss and wiped away his tears, praising him a little more, before you swung your leg over his face and finally let him have what he wanted.

It was as if you’d told him he’d won the lottery. He just about cheered as he thanked you repeatedly and then wrapped his arms around your thighs to pull you down onto his tongue. You had to stick out an arm to try and steady yourself as he devoured you, excitedly tracing your lips with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth. He hummed and whimpered against you and used his hands to encourage you to rock yourself against his mouth, spreading your wetness across his face. At one point, so giddy with joy, he giggled, and you jolted at the bizarre tickling sensation of his breath. But that just seemed to spur him on as he licked and sucked every inch of your cunt he could reach. You weren’t sure if his end goal was to make you cum or if he just got very excited and enthusiastic about pussy but, either way, the result was the same. It was impossible to hold back your release as his tongue slid along your folds and his lips latched onto you. He hummed as you gasped and tensed above him, refusing to stop until you pried his hands from your thighs and let yourself fall back to the bed. He pouted as if he wanted to throw a tantrum at having his favourite food taken away, but you managed to make him smile by telling him how incredible you felt and how good he was.

He let you lie down next to him and listened quietly as you talked him out of the trance, reminding him who he was and the reality of your situation. You waited as Roger opened his eyes, stroking his hair back from his face softly as everything returned to him.

“Wow,” was the first thing he said, “That was,” he cleared his throat and pushed himself to sit up, “that was something.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, a very fun something,” he hurried to clarify so you wouldn’t worry, “I take it you enjoyed yourself too?”

You laughed and nodded, “Definitely. This is going to sound bad but I like being mean to you.”

“I get it,” he leaned over to kiss you softly, “I like being mean to you too.”

“And the pegging and free use stuff? All of that was okay? How do you feel now?”

“Oh, better than okay. That was brilliant. We’re definitely playing with them more in the future. Bit sore now and I really, really want to get out of this thong. Also take the plug out.”

“I can arrange that. D’you want some help with the plug?”

“Yes please.” Roger shifted onto his stomach, trying to relax so you could peel off the underwear and slowly wiggle the plug out of his arse, “Add these knickers to the list of ones I’ve ruined though.”

“That’s only cause I get such a kick out of making you cum in your pants.”

He hummed, wincing a little as the plug slipped all the way out, “y’know one of these days I’m going to wake up from a trance and decide to gag you with whatever underwear you made me destroy while I keep eating you out. I still have a bit of a lingering need to have my head between your legs and I do so enjoy overstimulating you.”

“Save that for a special occasion,” you laughed, giving his bum a tap to let him know he could roll over, “C’mon, shall I run us a bath?”

Roger nodded and let you pull him up, kissing you softly before he stood on slightly wobbly legs followed you out of the bedroom.

#my writing #my blurbs #or rather #my fics #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #roger taylor imagine #lord have mercy #i need to lie down for 12 years after this #Anonymous #blurb advent 2020

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thoi2020 · 3 years

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u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much.

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember.

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

#good luck!!!#sorry for the unpunctuated typing this was long i cba <3 #anonymous #again this is just from my experience plus teachers' advice that i liked and saw worked #tw iit jee #lmk if u wanna know sth else?#hope this helps #long post

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lyeekha · 3 years

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In the mirror he could see Ernest stood behind him, tie tucked safely into his vest, sleeves rolled up and a towel slung over one shoulder. He had ushered Lemony to a seat with a headrest, politely remaining in eyeline and not making any surreptitious-looking movements. He had removed his suit jacket and pointed out that, really, you needed to be topless for this, and Lemony had said oh yes, of course, as if this had slipped his mind instead of caused him to hesitate, and taken off his shirt, and nobody had made a fuss about it, and he had actually relaxed, and now Ernest was rubbing something into his neck that smelt... incredible. It smelt of summer.

The manager was obviously skilled, that hadn't been a lie. His palms worked the oil across his flesh with just the right firmness and friction to make his skin tingle. His fingertips pressed confidently into the exact hollows that made him hum with appreciation. He wanted more than anything to drift off and allow himself to be looked after, but Lemony was still playing the game. He had to be. As casually as possible, he watched Ernest's reflection. The man seemed totally absorbed in his work. In fact, Ernest looked more peaceful than he had ever seen him before. The enigmatic smile didn't seem as forced, though still impenetrable. A slight, strange frown of concentration was on his brow. Something ancient stirred in the back of Lemony's mind. He could believe that this was a genuine pleasure for Ernest, no matter what other motives were in play. The attraction of a simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive task. Lemony cleared his throat and summoned a more jovial tone.

Thank you!!! (Pick a passage or comic chapter of mine for commentary)

this ones from Double Edged so, spoilers for that. sorry if its too much and maybe incomprehensible i just wrote everything i thought in a stream

The idea of rival spies in a truce having an unspoken etiquette about making sure the other person can see what they’re doing clearly at all times really amused me and also seemed like a natural progression for people who just, Live Like This all the time. Kind of like the body language animals develop to deliberately signal trust and lack of threat? Like when cats do the long blink or prey animals make a big show of laying down near you. Of course then you have it as a reassuring gesture, and that gesture being false, and I’ve set myself up for the whole rest of the thing to be about successfully and realistically (enough) distracting Lemony without him noticing.

Humans are the animals that do this too, of course. it is the same thing as normal body language just made more pointed. I have Ernest as having complete control over his body language and complete observation of everyone elses, in a Derren Brown type reading/manipulation style.

I like slipping dialogue into the narration here because it cuts out a lot of stuff that’s boring to read and skips a bit of time by having Lemony reflect on things that have just happened. the whole thing is in past tense but this is like, a few minutes further past tense than everything else. Means I can just put the pertinent things. Also it was very important for this bit to happen very fast so that you get his POV sense of being swept along with ‘naturally unfolding’ events. It buries the fact that Ernest now has possession of Lemony’s jacket by making the second half of that sentence much more engaging and interesting looking and easy to move on to - which is exactly what Ernest is doing by saying something distracting as he performs the natural gesture. It’s all about giving the reader the same experience as Lemony, that’s the goal for this one.

Lem is a bit nervous about taking clothes off - which is reasonable, actually - but also he’s a bit precious about it in general because of a lifetime habit of showing skin equalling danger (tattoo) and being vulnerable (without disguise or situation-appropriate clothing). I’m thinking of socks and the symbolic importance of clothes in atwq, the reliance on the disguise kit forever, the scene-appropriate netflix outfits to blend in all the time. That’s whats canon anyway - this all also contributes to my headcanon of trans Lemony, and I made sure to imply top surgery scars in the illustration. Again, vital to remember that its Lem’s POV (even though it’s not in first person), so ‘nobody made a fuss about it’ both tells you his relief that no comment about his body (whether salacious or surprise or mockery) was made and cements that he was nervous in the first place.

Of course Ernest wouldnt say anything, or even visibly react at all. He is a practiced expert of the service industry.

This is also in contrast with Jacques, who has complete confidence in showing skin. Lem feigning absent-mindedness to disguise hesitation feeds into the overall ongoing thing of Lemony trying to be smooth, and I reckon hes’s coping by pulling directly from how he’s seen Jacques act. This whole seductive wiles angle isn’t really Lemony’s scene and his awkward phrasing and justifications in his own thoughts about it reflects this. Pretending to be going along with stuff he can do, but the playful flirty aspect is different and throws him a bit. So its pretty much all from what he knows of J’s playbook. Of course Ernest isn’t fooled by the faux casualness, and Lemony knows he isnt, but its the polite etiquette to go along with face value that makes everyone more comfortable. Lot of that in this fic.

‘and he had actually relaxed’ the word ‘actually’ implying his surprise as he’d been intending to only pretend to relax - same with ‘that hadn’t been a lie’, as in, well *that* at least was true. Lem is double checking literally everything Ernest says. The fact that he is actually a practiced masseuse sells the idea to Lemony that this is not just a ruse to get his top off or whatever. And at the same time reassures the reader that Lem is not actually being a complete idiot - he is constantly suspicious of everything as always, and remains so throughout

It smelt of summer.... I wanted a feeling more than a specific scent. Its how it makes him feel. He can’t pinpoint it exactly because its too evocative. To me, smelling of summer evokes warm spice and mango. Also, the sudden switch from a factual barrage to slow and conceptual is a strong feeling.

The fast pacing and then the sudden slow at the end of the paragraph like a sigh. Like the feeling of being swept along and then being a bit bewildered, bit ‘i can’t beleive this is actually happening’, bit ‘how did i get here’, bit proper relaxing.

Then slow and meandering pacing, to match Ernest’s hands. Palm oil. Flesh Firmness Friction.

Ernest said pointedly earlier that the mirror was for Lemony to watch him, to feel safe. So he is well aware - and is in fact encouraging - that Lemony study his reflection at this point. However, I hope I managed to get a good genuine vibe in here. Ernest enjoys this, and is finding it relaxing. Probably the actual genuine feeling from him is a huge advantage to calming Lemony down, Lem can probably pick up on fakeness very well subconsciously, so the verisimilitude is Ernest’s best weapon. Also, he wants for selfish reasons. He doesn’t get physical contact because of his position, and when he does its not someone that understands why. And Lemony understands him. And he understands Lemony. Better than most on their respective sides do. Lem even acknowledges in his own narration - 'genuine pleasure... no matter what other motives were in play’ - that the truth and the trick are not mutually exclusive. he gets it.

Very intentional focus on enigmatic smile and brow in quick succession, which happens repeated through the story - yes we are invoking Ellington this fic, more quietly at first and then stronger later. A stirring of something ancient, you might say.

And yes, the mind naturally wanders to other simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive tasks and he has to shut that line of thought down immediately, something Lemony gets increasingly worse at doing as the fic goes on. Shoving words like ‘pleasure’ and ‘stirring’ and that technically accurate description together heavily implies Lem’s growing arousal. Just to really spell that out. Just in case. If it’s missed it would be there subliminally enough im sure.

Thanks for asking and a great choice of section, I havent read this commentary back so here it is have it immediately before i remember what i forgot and edit forever

#tangentiallly #my fic #asoue #lemony snicket #ernest denouement #lemzest

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yandere-mha-blog · 3 years

Text

Hello author here to bring a couple of after stories for cute aggression, hope you enjoy them, they will published at any time so enjoy

After story #1

Words:3847

Everything with Katsuki was going well, ever since the news of your quirk and you taking a bit of time to yourself and casually going on dates with him, it had been going well. The only thing that you didn't like was the fact he was so busy with work, so dates were scarce, and what was even worse was the damm reports that swarmed the two of you when you were enjoying some street food.

Katsuki ended up exploding a camera, and getting in trouble with the Hpsc, you were in the background laughing at the abusrtry of the citation, what you didn't like was when someone shoved a camera in your face, katsuki being well katsuki was still over protective, even with the nullifying bracelet on, so seeing a reporter get thrown across the street by and angry katsuki while you were just trying to enjoy your crape.

Of course the reporters did see the nullifying bracelet and started asking questions, and Katsuki in all his glory told them to shove their damm questions up their ass, shit them out and step in it, always subtle. .

Right now you were reading a magazine, it was getting late you wondered if Katsuki was going to call tonight, he was always so busy it kinda sucked not being in his aprtment now, but this arrangement was the best at the moment, you tossed your magazine on the coffee table and sat back going on your blog feed, maybe being the ‘girlfriend’ of Katsuki bakugou, the second strongest hero in japan, was giving you a lot of attention not all good attention.

“She ain't even that pretty, why is he dating her.” “She looks so dull :/ Bakugo deserves better if you ask me.”

“Isn't she just distracting him from his hero work, how selfish can this woman be.”

“Why is he dating someone who is so weak looking, you think katsuki would be into stronger women.”

“Yall just jealous.” you said sticking your tongue out at the phone before going back to looking at funny bunny videos, when your phone finally rang, seeing “angry pompom boyfriend” pop up.

“Hello~” you chirped

“Hey, you picked up on the first ring, you've been waiting for a call?” he asked

“Maybeeee.” you said “how was work, make anyone bleed?”

“ONly the ones that deserved it, altho i got scratch on my arm, not important-”

“NUcked how deep is the cut, i know when you say a scratch it usually means you need stitches!” you said

“Okay fine three stitches, it isn't anything stop worrying about me.” he said

“Can't stop me.” you said

“Look im going to be fine stop worrying about me, anyway an old class mate invited me to this dumb event, and did youw ant to be my plus one?”

“Really what class mate, what's the event?”

“THe hero Froppy, she has this water park , and she invited all the classmates, except for one to join.”

“Ohhh frobby, the frog one, yes her, well the thing is i would love to go but i have a problem.”

“What?”

“I don't have a bathing suit and I'm not a good swimmer.” you said

“I'll take you bathing suit shopping dn keep you in the kid section.” KAtsuki said

“I'm not a kid.” you huffted

“Well you said you swim like one.” Katsuki said “besides it will be fine if you are going to be surrounded by a bunch of heroes no one is going to let you drown.”

“True, but do they know of my quirk?” you asked

“The doctor said your quirk isn't really effective if it's just a couple of hours, you can explain it to them or I can.” KAtsuki said “So you want to go or not?”

“Yes, I wanna go.” you said “where and when should i meet you for bathing suit shopping?” “I'll pick you up tomorrow around 3.” Katsuki said

“I can meet you there, you know.”

“Just let me do this.” Katsuki said

“Okay thanks katsuki, also don't stress your arm out mr stitches.” you said

“It's almost healed anyways.” Katsuki said “i'll be there at 3 so be ready.”

“I will, byeee love you suki.”

“Don't go all soft on me.” KAtsuki said as you could practically feel the heat from his blush through the phone “...bye.” Click

He was so awkwardly cute sometimes, hard to believe that he tried to keep you locked up in a remote cabin in the woods a few months ago, still a waterpark, they were always so expensive so you never want, i mean the beach and bathtub were just as good, it was mostly spending time with Katsuki you were happy about.

So when Katsuki was standing outside your apartment, at 3:10, waiting ten minutes as you were putting your hair up, you opened the door

“Finally took you long enough, when i say 3, i mean 3.” he said

“And you should know by now , I'm probably going to be ten minutes late.” you said “also is that anyway to speak to your partner.”

He flicked your forehead

“Well it's rude to keep your partner waiting, now let's go.” Katsuki said as you walked to his car, and turned on the music, you were mumbling the words under your breath and bopping to the beat with your head. Katsuki was unknowingly tapping the steering wheel with you.

You finally arrived at the swimsuit shop and happily made your way in only to see katsuki take a seat outside the store

“Ahem.” you said

“What?” Katsuki said

“Aren you going to come in with me?” you asked

“I'm pretty sure you can dress yourself.” Katsuki said, you sighed

“Okay fine Guess I have to deal with all the leechers' eyes on me when I try them on.”

“What?” Katsuki said

“Don't you know there are always those men who like to hang around to be able to see women in swimsuits, and there are a few bikinis in there that look cute.” you said knowing how to push his buttons, so he went in glaring at any dude who even glanced your way, you were looking through the racks of swim sits and held up one that looked more like it belong in a lingerie section

“Katsuki, why are they selling a swimsuit that's just a bunch of strings?” you asked and he put it back on the rack and replaced it with a one piece, you kept looking and saw one that made you laugh

“Hey katsuki you never told me you had a swimsuit deal.” you said holding up a Dynamigth brand bikini

“Wasn’t my idea when they said a swimsuit line, I thought they were talking about athletic swimwear.”

“Hmm, maybe I should get this.” you said and he put it back on the rack and put a different one on

“No.” he said bluntly, he was so easy to tease, you found a couple more you liked, but you were torn between a cute pink one, and black and orange one

“What's taking so long in there?” Katsuki asked as he was slumped against the wall

“I can't decide.” you said, “Katsuki 1 or 2?”

“1” he said

“Okay this one it is then.” you said walking out in the orange and balck one, before he pushed you back in

“Okay looks great now go get dressed and let's check out already.” he said

“Geez you hate it that much.” you said

“It's fine.”

“Oh so just fine.” you said

“I said it looks great, look can we leave now, i hate swimsuit shopping.” Katsuki said

“Never would've guessed.” you said, walking out in your clothes with the orange swimsuit in hand, as you went and checked out, you passed by the mens swim suits and then had a thought

“Hey Katsuki do you need new swim trunks?” you asked

“No.” he said “I buy the same black swim trunks from the same brand every summer.” Katsuki said

“That is so like you.” you said eye a pair of pink swim trunks with white teddy bear faces on them.

“No, I see what you are looking at, and I'm saying no.” Katsuki said, as you tugged his sleeve

“Can you at least try them on?” you said

“No.” Katsuki said

“Pretty please.” you said

“Adding pretty to the front isn't gonna change my mind.” he said, and you stared at him giving him that look”Don't you dare.”

“Suki, can you pretty please with a cherry on top, try them on.” you said, and that's how you got Katsuki To wear a pair of pink swim trunks with white teddy bear faces on them, he looked extremely pissed off like usually, as you were smiling happy to yourself

“Aww you look so cute.” you cooed and took a photo

“I swear i'm never going to forgive you for this.'' Katsuki said as he closed the door and walked out of the store, you wrapped your arm around his and happily strolled around the mall, getting some Boba together, it wasn't a surprise Katsuki got a Mangoada. You were happily sipping on the peach one you got, as katsuki tried to harass you to try some, even though time and time again you made it clean you didn't like the spice.

Still the two of you saw the time and had to get going to enjoy the water park. Katsuki seemed a bit on edge, maybe seeing his old classmates was making him nervous.

“Oh wow is that momo, and Shoto?” you said “They are in the same ranks as you, oh look it's Kaminari and denki.”

“Hey look who decided to come join us.” Denki said as Katsuki parked his car and mumbled under his breath and walked out “Look, Mr. Antisocial decided to join us.”

“Can it.” KAtsuki said

“Or what you’ll blow my head off.” Denki then shut his mouth as he saw you come out of the car “I mean...heyyyyy (name)!”

“Hi denki.” you said

“Oh so this is Katsuki Girlfriend.” Sero said, popping out from behind Kirishima “gotta ask what does this little lady see in that brute over there.”

“Katsuki is a great boyfriend.” you said “your name is Hanta right?”

“OH please just call me Sero.” He said sticking his hand out and you shook it only to be taped to his hand “Gotta say im stuck to you.”

“Watch yourself.” Katsuki said pulling you hand off, and just great another flirt, so now you had to deal with denki, sero and kirishima to an extent, the red and white one didn't seem too interested “and look here is the thing about my girlfriend, i think she should explain it though.”

“Thanks katsuki, i have a quirk that has a tendency to make people's emotions about me a little, off the charts with how they feel about me, so Katsuki is wearing the bracelet since there was a incident in april, denki and kirishima were there.” You said and Sero nodded his head

“Noted.” He said patting your head And katsuki slapped his hand away “you sure the bracket works though

“You should have seen him before he had that on.” Denki said,as the front door opened and froppy waved them in

“HI everybody, glad to see those who could make it, I'm surprised to see Bakugou here.” she said

“Sweet lets go!” Kirishima said and you walked in and went into the changing room, a little weird to be left alone with another pro hero, still you got in you bathing suit and momo came out.

“Oh hello.” She said “I didn't get to introduce myself earlier, im Momo.” she said “you are (name) right.”

“Yes, that's me.” you said “So you were one of Katsukis classmates?” “Yes I was, he was...interesting back then.” she said as the female gym locker slammed open

“Heyyyy heyyy.” you heard and saw a head of bright pink hair and skin walk in “MOMO! “Mina you were able to make it.” she said

“Sure was and….wait a second who is this, i don't remember this face being in our class, she looks a little younge.”

“Oh i'm Katsuki girlfriend.” you said, and she let out a loud gasp

“NOOOO WAYYYYY.” she said “YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW THAT IS, TRUTH BE TOLD KATSUKI WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO NEVER DATE OR MARRY.”

“Mina you are a little loud.” Momo interjected

“Ohhh sorry.” she said turning back to you “is that why you choose the orange and balck swimsuit, tell me everything.”

“You will have to excuse Mina, because she loves other people's relationships.” Momo said, and mina looked at her and gave a mischievous smile

“Speaking of relationships, how are you and Todoroki doing?” she asked

“There is nothing of that sort going on between us.”Momo said,as MIna kept pestering her for information, you decided to leave the locker room, only to see Katsuki waiting by the bench right outside of it, making you jump.

“You ready?” he asked solving an inner tube at you

“Yup, A girl named MIna showed up late.” you said, and Katsuki let out a grone, as Momo walked out looking disheveled as MIna followed and looked at katsuki.

“Still why couldnt of Jiro come?” denki said as kirishima have hima reassuring pat on the back

“Hey be lucky this many classmates were able to come

“Still jiro would have known the best music to play over the loudspeakers and holy moly of god look.” Denki said, as Kirishaim inked him on the head “ow.” “Don't go ogling the girls dude.” Kirishaim said “OH WOW MOMO YOUR MUSCLES ARE REALLY IMPRESSIVE.”

“Thank you kirishima.” she said and getting in the water

“Hey hey hey.” Mina said “i don't hear you saying my muscles are impressive.”

“Oh, well they are.” Kirishima said as Mina put him in a headlock and noggied him, at least you know where Kirishima got his sense of greeting from. Shoto was in the wave pool in an innertube with his eyes closed, he almost looked dead. Kirishima was running away from mina and jumped into the pool splashing you and Katsuki on the side, you shrugged and jumped in with the inner tube, katsuki had his feet in the pool

“Aren you coming in?” you asked

“No thanks.”Katsuki said, as you saw a blob of red under the water swimming towards Katsuki and then grabbing his nakel pulling him in, kirishiam popped his head above the water and was laughing and swimming away from his friend who was out for blood, you sighed wishing you could play along with them, when sero jumped in next to you.

“Hello again.” he said, and you gave him a polite smile

“Hello.” you said

“So i'm guessing you can't swim that well?” Sero said, you nodded, so he pulled out a piece of tape from his elbow and attached it to the tube, and started swimming, pulling you alone “Off we go.”

You were laughing as Katsuki finally got his hands on kirishima and threw him over his head and kirishima landed about a good five feet away with a loud splash, katsuki ran a hand through his hair before looking over to where you laughing was coming from, and he nearly blew a gasket. He swam over and grabbed the other side of the tube

“Hey, what do you think you are doing?” Katsuki said as he wasn't really asking

“OH hey bakugou, im hanging out, she can't swim that good so im giving her a free ride.” Sero said acting all innocent as sero pulled the tube towards him, and then katsuki pulled it back, you weren't really into the whole tug of war so you slipped out the bottom, katsuki looked down and let go causing the tube to smack Sero in the face, as he pulled you above water

“Hey what was that , you can't swim well.” Katsuki said, “Look, just get on my back.”

“Okay.” you said as you latched yourself on his back and he started swimming off

“He is so whipped.” Denki said to sero

“Haha definitely.” Sero said rubbing the red mark that was on his face, Momo was int he wave pool talking to Shoto as he just nodded his head, as mina came by with Kirishima to you and katsuki

“Hey wanna chicken fight?” she asked

“What's that?” you asked

“It's when you sit on someone's shoulders and then you try to push the other person off.” she said

“Hmm sounds interesting but I'm at a disadvantage here.” You said, “What do you think katsuk.”

“Eh.” KAtsuki said

“He is just chicken he is going to lose.” Kirishiam said

“Definitely.” MIna said

“OH you are going to regret saying that.” Katsuki said “(name) get on my shoulder now.”

“Uhh okay.” you said getting on and MIna sitting on kirishima

“Ready set...go!” she said pushing on your shoulder, oh so this was you were supposed to do, you grabbed her shoulders as Kirishima dn Katsuki were trying to remain balanced

“You are going down.” Katsuki said

“Haha you think your girlfriend can beat a pro hero.” Kirishima said, and that comment made you upset, now you want victory.

“Katsuki move back...now!” you said as mina lunged forward and Katsuki dogged her and she fell face first into the water taking kirishima face with her, they both emerged looking angry at both of your dirty tactics to win, as both of you were laughing, kirishima grabbed katsuki ankle again and dragged him under, you started splashing as Kirishima caught you.

“Katsuki let off an explosion underwater sending a stream of water smack dab into Kirishima face as he took you back, mina was laughing at Kirishima face of shook, denki was also laughing in the background.

Over all, every eventful day at the water park it was getting rather late so the pool lights came on, and katsuki was pulling you along by your arms as you were kicking your legs.

“YOu can be a perfectly good swimmer, you should practice at my pool.” Katsuki said, as sero and denki were lounging the chairs and mina and kirishima were racing down the water slide, Shotot and momo were in the lazy river.

Tsu came out from under the water and said that the park was closing soon, shoto and momo were the first to leave, maybe mina was right, something could be going on between them, or they were good friends.

Katsuki was drying your hair off as Denki kept commenting on how he wasn't doing it right and he was going to rip your hair out, sero pulled him away and the two of them left. And Kirishima had to drag Mina out since she was suggesting a sleepover in the water park.

“Later guys, it was nice seeing you again (name).” Kirishima said

“You too.” you said and waved them off

“Byee it was nice meeting you.” Mina said

“Byee you too.” you replied, as katsuki removed the towel from your hair

“Did you have fun today?” Katsuki asked

“SUre did, and I think I learned to swim a bit better today as well.” you said, “I'm hungry and tired though.”

“Well...i mean, if you want, i can make you something at my house and stay over, like old times...only if you want.”

“Hmmm tempting.” you said “you aren going to lock me up right.”

He flicked your forehead at that comment

“NO dumdum, remember this bracelet I'm wearing.” Katsuki aid holding his wrist up only for you to notice it was gone, then katsuki noticed it was gone as well “...fuck.”

“Uhhh katsuki where is the bracelet?” you asked

“SHit it must of fell off when i was swimming.” Katsuki said “hey frog girl i lost something in the pool!”

“What was it?” she asked

“MY nullifying bracelet.” Katsuki said

“Oh, yeah you were wearing a bracelet when you came here, i'll go scoop out the pool for you.” she said and jumped in the water, as you are starting to get a little on edge.

“Hey, look don't worry, i've only been around you a couple of hours, I'm sure.” Katsuki said

“...you asked me if you wanted me to come to your apartment, what is that supposed to make me think when the thing is off.” you said

“Hey it wasn't like that okay, look i mean i miss you and all that sure, but i'm not going to try that bullshit again.” Katsuki said as you scooted away from him

“I think i should go in the washroom till you get it back on.” you said getting up and walking into the women washroom and sighing, you scratch the back of your head, how long was the bracelet off.

“Found it.” Tsu said handing it back to him, Katsuki quickly snached it back and put it on and let out a sigh of relief

“...thanks...look can you go in and tell her it's found.” Katsuki said, she just nodded, it was weird to see Katsuki that freaked out, she went in and found you on the bench inside

“Hey, I found that bracelet.” She said “I don't really know the whole story but it seems really important, you both seem a bit freaked out?”

“Oh you found it, thank you.” you said looking up “And yeah it's kind of a long story.”

“You had a quirk you didn't know about that makes people's emotions about you more extreme?” She asked, you nodded her head “Well at least you know that Katsuki likes you, truth be told not a lot of classmates ever thought he would be in a relationship, and when he got into a bad one we were worried, still he seemed more worried to get the thing back on.”

“Really?” you asked, she nodded

“Yup, Bakugo has been extreme his whole life however, but I'm sure even his care for you is the same as in his hero work, Bakugo has always been the type to put his 100% in everything.”

“Yeah he really is great, I'm just worried.” You said

“Well you should talk to him about it, because he had a very worried expression on his face.” She said “I am going to have to close up now, hope you two sort everything out.”

You walked out and saw Katsuki waiting by the car, you walked over

“You all good-” he started but you cut him off with a hug “why what are you doing?”

“Physical affection.” you said your words muffled by his chest “Sorry for getting so freaked out, i know that you would tell me if you were starting to feel that way again.”

“You are really dumb soemtimes.” Katsuki said, patting your head “you still wanna come over for dinner?” he asked and you nodded your head.

One step at a time you supposed

#yandere katsuki bakugo #yandere katsuki bakugou #yandere katsuki #yandere bakugo #yandere bakugou #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere

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a-hundred-jewels · 3 years

Text

what, you egg? - chapter 1

Ao3

Fandom: The Penderwicks Series - Jeanne Birdsall

Words: 1408

Tags: Transgender, Coming of Age, (i guess??), Vingettes, Series of Moments, kind of in a similar vein to "Sparkle and Fade", which is that really good penderwicks fic about skye by spark writer on ff.net, the title is a multilayered joke that im very proud of, i see all you trans shakespeare enthusiasts and i love you

Summary:

Rosalind Penderwick has known that she is a girl for as long as she can remember. It's just the rest of the world that needs to catch up.

Or: The childhood of Rosalind Penderwick told in a series of vingettes and short stories as she navigates choosing her name, dealing with her mother's death, and being true to herself.

Fic under the cut (or on Ao3)

chapter 1: names and pizza

The notes were scratchy, drifting through the walkman on the grass. Pressing the headphones closer to her small ears, Leonarda--

“Nope.” She sat up abruptly, and the headphones fell onto the grass. “Nope, nope, nope.”

“Which one was that?” Her sister, Skye, with blond hair and long, lanky limbs, sat up next to her, grass stains smudged on her cheek like face paint.

“Leonarda.”

“Oh. That’s one of the ones Jane picked, right?”

“Yeah.” She flopped back down to the grass and sighed.

“I can tell her.” Skye hugged her knees to her chest. She was six, but tall for her age, almost as tall as her older sister.

“Thanks.” It wasn’t that Leonarda wasn’t a good name. It just wasn’t right. Jane would understand.

Headphones in again, Fleetwood Mac drifted into the girl’s ears and she shut her eyes.

___

“Jane?” On hurried footsteps, the girl ran down the stairs. “Jane, what’s that smell?” No answer. She sped down the hall to the kitchen.

Jane was sitting cross legged on the kitchen table with her nose buried in a book, apparently oblivious to the awful smell surrounding her. She looked up at the sound of feet. “What about Lucy Pevensie?” she said, her eyes shiny like they were still seeing the sparkling snow of Narnia, instead of her older sister standing at the kitchen door.

“What? No, I don’t think I can name myself Lucy Pevensie. Jane, what happened to the pizza? And where’s Skye?”

“What about Susan Pevensie?”

“Jane!” Jane sighed and closed her book with small hands. Patiently, as though she was being asked a very silly question, she said, “Daddy is on the phone because Mommy called from the hospital.”

“Yes, I know that part. You and Skye were supposed to finish making the pizza and wait for Daddy to put it in the oven. Where’s Skye?”

“She’s washing the cheese off her soccer keets.” Jane smoothed her purple skirt over her lap and reached for her book again, but her sister stopped her.

“Jane, why is the oven on at four-hundred degrees--oh my god!” She turned the oven off and yanked its door open. Smoke poured out, and the smoke alarm shrieked in protest. Behind her, Jane started to cry, partly out of her fear of the smoke alarm and partly, the girl suspected, from the shame of being caught doing something you weren’t supposed to. Before anything else could be done, Skye ran in from the bathroom.

“I’m coming Jane! Oh god, please don’t cry! Uh, I can turn the thingy off! Whatever you do, just don’t get--oh.” Skye stopped in her tracks at the sight of her oldest sister. In her arms, Skye was carrying sopping wet soccer cleats and there was guilt written all over her face.

“Girls? What’s going on?” Their father entered the kitchen.

It was one of their father’s greatest features, the sisters thought, that upon entering a putrid-smelling kitchen with the smoke alarm blaring, Jane crying on the table, Skye hugging mysteriously wet soccer cleats to her chest, and the oldest sister standing at a smoking oven, that he knew exactly what to do. In the next couple of minutes, Skye’s cleats were laid across a towel on a radiator and Jane brought to the living room and given some cheese sticks. The father pulled the burning mess out of the oven, with his eldest two daughters watching intently.

“We thought it would just cook, Daddy,” Skye said, biting her fingernails. “We figured that we’ve seen you and Mommy do it so many times that we’d know what to do.”

“I know, honey. Just don’t use the oven again without me around.”

“Or Mommy, right?” Skye looked up at her father.

“Of course,” their father said, his face unreadable. “I know my girls are all very smart, but the oven gets so hot and I don’t want any of you to get burned, or for, uh, this to happen.”

“Okay,” Skye nodded. Her older sister was still looking at the charred pizza on the stove, though.

“I don’t understand why it smelled so bad,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“The smell. We’ve burnt pizza before, when we’re cooking with Mommy, and I don’t think it’s ever smelled that bad.”

Their father frowned. “Good observation, my dear. Skye, what cheese did you use?”

Skye’s small fae scrunched up as she thought. “I don’t know,” she said. “Jane did the cheese.”

Her sister sighed and went through to the living room, where Jane was peeling her string cheese and draping it across her book. She didn’t look up when her sister walked in but said, in a sing-songy voice, “Hello, Susan Pevensie!”

“Not Susan Pevensie, and are you actually going to eat any of that?”

“Maybe,” Jane said. She dropped a strand in her mouth.

Her sister sighed. “Jane, Skye says you put the cheese on the pizza.”

“Uh huh. I did the cheese and Skye did the sauce.” Jane began dropping the rest of her cheese strings into her mouth.

“What kind of cheese did you use?”

“The tiny cheese.”

“The grated cheese in the blue bag that Daddy left on the table for you?”

Jane shook her head. “I don’t like the tiny cheese in the blue bag. I got the red bag out of the fridge.”

Her sister frowned. “We don’t have any more of the red bag. Daddy and I finished it yesterday when we made macaroni.”

“It was really far back.”

The girl bit the inside of her cheek. “Um, Jane, what did the cheese look like?”

Jane thought hard, then swallowed her cheese strips and proceeded to peel more. “Tiny,” she said.

“Was it a funny color?” The girl tried to keep the desperation out of her voice.

“It was speckly.”

The girl sighed. “Jane, why did you use speckly cheese?”

Jane’s lower lip began to wobble. “I thought it would be like how big cheese with holes in it is better than big cheese without holes in it. Tiny cheese in the red bag is the best kind, but speckled tiny cheese in the red bag is even better!” Little tears were rolling down Jane’s cheeks and she started to chew on her hair.

Her sister took her hand and led her into the kitchen to see their father peeling an apple into a long spiral.

“Daddy I put the speckled cheese in the red bag onto the pizza and now everything smells icky!” Jane wailed, running for the comfort of her father. He picked her up and held her close to his chest, her small arms wrapped tight around his neck as she cried into his shoulder.

“Daughter of mine, could you open the windows?” Mr. Penderwick laid his hand on the girls head, her messy curls poking up between his fingers. That’s what he’d taken to calling her -- “daughter of mine.” He’d smiled when she told him that she didn’t have a name yet, but she didn’t want to use her old one, and said that he was sure whatever she thought of would be perfect. He’d also lent her the book of baby names that he and her mother had used to name her and her sisters, years and years ago. The girl treasured it -- but only the first half, which she looked through whenever she felt brave enough. She never looked at the boy’s names, though, not wanting to see her old name -- her first name -- circled in black pen by her mother from all those years ago. And anyway, there were plenty of beautiful names in the girls section. The boy’s section didn’t need to matter.

She opened the kitchen window and leaned as far out as she could, enjoying the cool breeze on her face, and a smell other than burnt, moldy cheese.

In the end, the Penderwicks did have pizza that night. Soon after disposing of the mess Skye and Jane had tried to make, Mr. Penderwick ordered from Antonio’s pizza, letting Skye do the talking the way she liked to.

By the time the order came (one large cheese pizza and one medium pepper and mushroom pizza), the nights events were almost forgotten. The girl sat down at the kitchen table next to Jane and took the blue plate her father passed her with two pieces of cheese pizza on it.

Despite everything, it was a happy evening on Gardam street.

#cameron writes #the penderwicks #penderwicks #rosalind penderwick

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