Making myself feel better about waking up earlier than usual lately especially on the weekends when I could be sleeping in by going to dunkin for a butter pecan iced coffee and breakfast (and a free lemon loaf today for later!)

20 OBJECTS WRITING VER.2

(VERSION 2, CUT DOWN + GRAMMAR CHECKED)

seraph of the end

I watched the Seraph of the End anime for the first time when I was around 13, and ironically, I nearly didn’t finish it, but I’m really glad I stuck with it because now it’s one of my favourite pieces of media of all time. Here I’ve decided to showcase the 21st manga in the series, and you know that must mean I have manga 1 all the way through to 21. The characters are said to be born in the same year as I am so as a kid, it made me happy to think I was growing up alongside them.

burts bees

Lip balm might be a weird inclusion, but hear me out. I used to not take good care of my body at all. I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but at some point I realised I needed to make changes. I set up a routine for my life, including a wake-up and going-to-sleep routine. I was still depressed, which sucked but I think learning to have a routine and self-awareness about what my body and mind needed is a hugely important skill that I still have today. Lip balm is just a representation of the changes and routine I made.

washi tape

Washi tape is a staple at a lot of stationary shops, and I used to go a lot with my sister to check them out. She has always been a lot more careful with her money than me. I can't handle the temptation and usually leave a stationary shop with something. I have a stupid amount of washi tape and other kinds of stationary. I just like the aesthetics and patterns of washi tape that inspire some of my brightly coloured art, and sometimes I even digitally draw washi tape to emulate physical craft style.

tamagotchi

I bought myself a Sanrio edition tamagotchi, which only ever came out in Japanese. So with the help of a translation guide online, I take care of my little creature. You can probably tell by now that I like Sanrio characters. My sister and I both had tamagotchis around 2010 and back then they were in black and white, while the one I have now is in full colour! I watch videos about the timeline and all about the different versions of tamagotchis that were made. It's a nostalgia thing and reminds me to put a childish 2000s flair into my work.

stickers

I’m a bit of a collector, and my stack of sticker sheets is further proof. I have tons of stickers that I’ve collected over the years from a range of places. Although I get really nervous about using them. I want to keep all of them nice forever. I’m a bad hoarder and need to get better at using some of these things up. Since a lot of the stickers are made by artists, they inspire me a lot, and often they’re made as merchandise for a show or cartoon I watch. It's been my dream to sell things like stickers myself.

water cup

I have a love for water and hydrating, like all normal living things do. I genuinely believe drinking a lot more water and staying hydrated throughout the day has made me a happier, healthier person. This water cup was a Christmas gift from my sister one year ago. Everything just tastes better when drunk with a straw. It also features an animal crossing pattern, which I play with my sister. Being in a good mindset is really important for my creative process, so drinking water helps me feel good enough to work hard on creative projects.

pokemon cards

Despite actually finding a lot of the games boring, I have spent a crazy amount of money on my Pokémon card collection. But for me, it isn’t about pulling the crazy rare and expensive cards, it’s all about collecting the pretty cards or cards I find visually appealing. There are hundreds of different artists working for Pokémon, so each card is personalised and has its own style. I think collecting them now as an adult is a way to appease my child self because I was told they were a waste of money, and they are, but I just can't help myself from collecting things.

ticket stubs

Here are some of the ticket stubs or receipts I’ve collected from going to shows. I keep these to preserve the memory of going out with friends or family to watch something. My favourites are plays, and then also animated films. Some may think it’s childish for me to still be so invested in colourful movies typically catered towards kids or teens, but I really enjoy taking in the art and beauty of animation as inspiration for my own bright and bold creative style, which also in turn influences my graphic design practice.

keroppi figure

Keroppi is a frog from Sanrio, and I got this specific figure from a blind box, which means you’re not sure which design or character you’re going to get when you buy the box. My best friend Cat got me this box to open, and when I did, we both thought it was really cute that I got the one that is shown to be drawing. He has the same profession as me, so he sits on a shelf above my bed and can watch me do my own design work.

sonny angel

At first, I used to think Sonny Angels were creepy. I didn’t like the idea of having a smiling, naked baby on my shelf as a collectable, but the more I learned about them, the more I was swayed. Sonny Angels are cherubs made as a companion for working women in their mid-20s dealing with the stress of adulthood. Cherubs are also a sign of good luck, so they’re almost a charm of sorts to bring happiness and luck. Of course, they are also just a piece of expensive plastic that we buy and collect, but sometimes it’s about the simple pleasures in life.

wacom

I got my first Wacom tablet when I was around 12 after borrowing my sister's far too much. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t a fan of physically sketching before this and was much more drawn to digital art and the effects and style of this medium. Even now, I’m actually a horrible physical artist, despite all my time spent drawing digitally. Being part of these digital art and design communities helped me improve and be inspired. This was the first step in taking me down the path of graphic design and helped me realise what I wanted to do for work later in life.

testosterone

This is my medical prescription for testosterone. I go in every 3 weeks for an injection of this stuff. It took a lot of time to get to this point in my life, but I can confidently say it has made me a happier, more confident person to finally feel like I’m comfortable in my own skin. My gender is an extremely important part of me, as it is for anyone, cis or not. It’s important for us as people to express ourselves authentically to be perceived as how we want to be, and when someone misunderstands you, it can be uncomfortable.

fuggler box

This box once housed a fuggler, a funny, ugly creature. I wasn’t sure that it really stood for this at first since I’ve heard a more rude version of that saying. These toys are meant to be, well, ugly to an extent. They have interestingly shaped bodies, small beady eyeballs, and visible, semi-realistic-looking teeth! Despite the intent of them being made ugly, I find them quite endearing. I like this idea of finding the beautiful behind the ugly. I also like the mix of horror with cuteness. It mirrors some of my own work, where I draw something scary but do it with bright, bold colours.

grape fanta

This can is another probably weird thing to add to a list of my favourite objects, but my love for artificial grape flavouring knows no bounds. It’s ironic because I don’t even like actual grapes! Fizzy drinks, soda, pop, whatever you want to call it, is one of my favourite things to drink as a treat. When I’m feeling down or I’m working on homework and I’m losing motivation, I treat myself to full strength, full sugar, definitely bad for me, soda.

splatoon amiibo

Splatoon is a game where you play as a 'squid kid’ (a kid who can also turn into a squid) and hang out in Inkopolis Square, shop for colourful streetwear fashion with unique abilities, and play games of turf war where you and 3 other players go up against a team of 4 and try to paint the majority of the map in your team colour. It’s one of my favourite Nintendo games, and I’ve been playing since the second game. There’s a third game in the series now which I played every single day. Now I don’t have as much time to play it, but I still love the general aesthetics and gameplay.

dsi

The DSi was my first ever gaming console. I got it for Christmas one year from my nana when I was around 7. This began my love for Nintendo and video games. I played a lot of Zelda: Four Swords and Animal Crossing: Wild World, as well as others. But it is whenever I play with my sister that I remember most and hold closest to my heart. Video games are such a creatively stunning work of love, from the graphics to the music to the story they tell, and in a way, they go hand in hand with graphic design as they communicate a story visually and through a specific creative style.

tote bag

Tote bags are another thing I started using after witnessing my sister style them. When she went to university with one, I also decided that a tote bag for university would be cool and convenient. In actuality, it really hurt my left shoulder and was really inconvenient to rummage around to find what I was looking for. I still have a considerable collection of them, though, because I do think they add to an outfit in a way that is more stylish than just a basic bag. It’s also perhaps cliche, but you’ll typically see a tote bag as a creative bag of choice, so I guess I’m just doing my duty as a designer.

Sold | Nct - 002

Summary: Cho Miso lives a difficult life, she works full time jobs to take care of her sick mom. One of those jobs being an secretary to the most rich man of seoul. As she tries to take care of everyhing, she goes looking for her dad who had left them for almost 5 years now. Coming into the life of her dad she was caught up by formal parties and events, her dad finally identifying her as his daughter. And before she could even realize, she was bought by a group powerful rich men who called themselves NCT to be their new secretary.

Masterlist

Genre: Smut (+slight angst?) and a little bit fluff

Warnings: None (only one swear word)

Word count: 2.4K

Notes: This chapter doesn’t contain any smut. I try to make this kinda like a real story that why I don’t go straight into the smut. Im sorry!! I think maybe in 2/3 chapters there will be some. Im just trying to introduce the nct members slowly. I hope this isn’t disappointing :/ Last thing, I think its Kims not Kim’s but Kim’s looks cooler idk why lol

The rest of the work day went by faster then I thought. None of the 3 Kim’s found out about the accident luckily. I did tell Tiffany, one of the personal assistants. She is also the one i’m close friends with, the one who gave the flowers I totally ruined. She could only laugh when I told her,” I already made copies of the most of them. So don’t worry about them finding out. I will email you the copies and you can retype the ones who aren’t there!” I couldn’t tell her how grateful I was. The most I could do for now was give her a big hug.

It was already passed workhours for me but at home I didn’t have access to a laptop or computer so I had to finish everything here. In the email Tiffany send me most of the papers were there, I mean the copies. I went through the now dried papers and got rid of the ones Tifanny copied. Now there were around twenty papers left for me to retype, and copy immediately before something would happen again.

All of the papers were about interviews or letters who needed to be send to other important companies. Before starting I looked at the clock on the wall behind Tiffany’s desk, who was out to get coffee for our bosses. The other two were busy moving from meeting to meeting together with the two other Kim’s.

The time on the clock was 4 pm. My mind wandered off for a second, thinking about what kind of food I should buy for dinner tonight. This job made me earn a fair amount of money. But most of it went to the debts we had to pay. And the hospital bills for my mom. This week she would stay with me until I had enough money to buy the hospital bills again.

“Ah I should really work on those papers.” I snapped myself back to reality upon seeing the papers I had to write before 6 because I would always have dinner at 6 with my mom but I didn’t know if I would make it this time. I was hoping on finishing a little before 6 so I could do some grocery shopping on my way home. As those thoughts ran through my mind I started working.

—

My eyes stayed focused on the screen as I was busy writing the last words of the letter. A loud sigh left my mouth when I grabbed the paper off the desk. Again, it was a letter. “From Mr. Kim To Mr Ch-“ I immediately stopped my sentence seeing the name on the paper. Mr Cho. It could be another man but I couldn’t let this go so easily. Was there an adress on it?

“Yes!” I jumped out of my chair with the paper in my hand. It would be unprofessional to ran out of the building and go to the adress. Not to forget I could lose my job if I did that. Only two papers to finish. With that mindset I typed the last papers in not more than 20 minutes.

My hands moved faster than normal. Computer off, papers in bag, chair under my desk, jacket on and card out. I didn’t have to tell anyone I was going. The 3 Kim’s couldn’t care more and Tifanny plus the other two girls were not at the office anymore.

The elevator was slower than usual. Or it was slower because I was excited to maybe find my dad again after five years. I didn’t really know the reason behind my excitement. He was the one who left us and he’s the source of our problems. Maybe I thought that if I would tell him how everything is with mom and me he would feel quilty and help us. Or maybe I just wanted answers to questions I had since the day he left us. And I knew that a small part of me wanted his money. I was embarrassed that I had these kind of thoughts but the money I wanted wouldn’t be for me, but for my mom. Every day she woke up she would look closer to death. Not that money was gonna fix the fact that she was ill or not but he could at least pay the hospital bills.

While making my way outside I looked up the adress on my phone. I was hoping badly that it wasn’t going to be a long route. My feet already gave up by seeing how long the walk was. At least one hour it said. Well if i walk my own speed it will be around forty minutes but still way too long for me to walk in heels. Only two decisions I could make. One, go home to change shoes, forget about dinner and just walk there or get a taxi. Option two it is then because I really didn’t have the time to walk.

Lucky for me a taxi just pulled to the side to let someone out of the car. Taking my chance I speed walked towards it. I was about to grab the doors handle but another hand reached for it faster. It was a young man. “Excuse me,” He muttered to me.

“Sorry sir, I was about to get into the taxi actually.” I politely said, trying not to make a scene. He blankly looked me in the eyes,” I never take a taxi so it’s really important. Now if you will excuse me, I have more urgent things to do then chit chat.” A breath came out of my mouth, sounding like a scoff. I didn’t mean to do that but he was being selfish. Like I had nothing better to do then talk to him,” Well I have something urgent to do too.” I replied but he already stepped into the vehicle.

“We can share!” He looked at me unamused. It didn’t look like he would consider sharing so I looked around for another orange car. To my suprise he left the door open and shuffled to the left to make space for me. I made a ninety degrees bow to thank him before stepping in. “Thank you. My name is Cho Miso.” I thanked him once again. The reason why I introduced myself was also a question to me. Maybe I was trying to be social. He looked at me once I introduced myself. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but he closed them again and looked outside.

Feeling a little hit awkward I gave the taxi driver the adress by showing letter.” You work there?” He asked me while typing the adress into the device,” Not really. I have to talk to the CEO of the building.” His eyebrows furrowed. That must’ve sounded really weird. “Ah, I mean I have a meeting. I work in that building,” I explained him while pointing to the building right outside the window. He nodded and asked the man next to me where he was heading. “The NCT building.” Both heads of me and the driver turned to stare at him in shock. Did he work there?

“Now you say it. I saw you on the news today! You are Kim Dongyoung!” Kim Dongyoung? Is he one of the CEO’s? Now that the driver said that, he was wearing a very expensive suit I recognized from the other CEO’s I often see in the building. I could never really understand people who paid so much for a pair of cothing but if you have the money I guess.

I missed the reaction of the man next to me but the driver started driving. He probably just nodded or ignored like how he did with me. My eyes somehow stayed glued to him. He had black hair, by what I could see long legs, beautiful brown eyes, nice lips. By the last thought I shook my head and whipped my head away from him. God what has gotten into me.

All I did for the rest of the ride was look outside the window, too embarrassed to even look at him. He also, was staring outside. Slowly the car came to halt. That wasn’t a long ride at all. Expected since its a car of course. I laughed a little by my own thoughts but quickly stopped when I saw Kim Dongyoung looking at me.

“Here is your stop miss.” I opened the door saying thank you at the same time. About to walk away I stopped myself, I have to pay. The device showed the amount of won I had to pay so I gave the man half of the bills I had in my wallet, hoping it was enough because I had to get a ride home too. “Have a nice meeting!” He flashed me a smile. I happily smiled back and pushed the door closed. Fortunately I saved myself some drama for later.

A loud sigh left my mouth as I looked at the big building infront of me. How do I even get in without getting stopped by the security. Taking a big risk I walked in. I was wearing office clothing so that was a good thing but I didn’t have an card to access. How was I gonna do this?

As aspected a muscular man stopped me,” You can’t go in miss” Quick think of something Miso! Thats right, I had the letter that had to be delivered here,” I have a meeting with Mr Cho? The letter with all of the information didn’t arrive in time so I came here personally to explain it.” I explained trying not to stutter too much and stretched out my arm with the paper in it so he could see. His eyes went over the paper. He nodded, believing my lie. Then he stepped backwards for me to enter, at the same time bowing.

I bowed back automatically and made my way to the elevator. It looked similar to the ones we had in our building. Made from glass and the floor of gold making it look chic and luxury. If this was my dads company he was very rich. While waiting for the elevator to arrive I thought about how he would look. What do I say. Should I introduce myself or hug him? Nah, he definitely know its me when he sees me so no need to introduce.

Ding! The elevator behind me made a sound, signaling it was open. I nearly ran into it, eager to meet my dad if this was his building. The glass elevator was filled with people in suit, golden watches and expensive bags. I felt a little out of place but that wasn’t important right now. Not sure what floor I had to stop at I waited till I reached the top of the building. Most of the time the important people like the CEO were on the top floor.

And I was right. When I reached top floor it looked alsmost exactly like the floor I worked at in the 3 Kim’s building. A receptionist, waiting room, conference rooms and the CEO’s office I could see way back behind everything with the name Mr Cho on a again golden name plate attached in the door. After examining I walked up to the girl behind the reception.

“Good evening, I have something to discuss with Mr Cho?” I couldn’t tell her I had a meeting because she could search it up on her computer and I would get send away. “Im sorry miss but Mr Cho is in a meeting at the moment. Would you like to wait?” Oh a meeting? Meeting always take a long time but if I had the luck that it was indeed my dad I was gonna meet then it wouldn’t hurt for me to wait a little while. “Yes I will wait, thank you.” With that I walked up to the seats where you were supposed to wait.

—

I’ve been here, waiting, for almost thirty minutes now and I was losing my patient. I was even so close to losing it that I wanted to walk into that conference room and yell at him for being so slow. Of course I couldn’t do that so my only option was waiting.

Tired of sitting in a chair for the whole time, I got up to get something to drink. When I arrived here I saw a water tap almost next to the CEO’s office.

Filling my cup, I looked around once again. The office walls of Mr Cho were from glass making it easy for me to take a glance of it. There wasn’t much interesting though. His desk was placed by the wall on the left. Infront of the desk a couple couches with a coffee table in the middle. Just like regular CEO offices that I’ve seen in my life.

But something catched my eye. There were three framed pictures on his desk, facing the couches. I couldn’t see them clearly so I walked a couple steps closer to the office.

The cup almost fell out of my hand. It was my dad on the pictures but not only him. Next to him there was a woman, around my moms age maybe younger and two kids, one boy and one girl who looked atleast five years younger than me. This was his new family. Otherwise he wouldn’t have three pictures with them on his desk.

I couldn’t accept the fact that he moved on from his first family. Harshly I threw the cup of water into the garbage can nearby me and I left the building with my hands clenced into a fist. Tears threatened to fall but he wasn’t worth it. He was living a perfect life with a perfect new family and money enough to take care of thousands people like my mom and me. He was so fucking selfish!

I took a taxi back to my house. The whole ride I looked outside the window with a furious expression. Probably making the driver uncomfortable because he turned up the radio so it wouldn’t be all silence. Arriving at the house I gave him the rest of the money I had in my wallet and he drove off after.

Grabbing my keys to enter the house my phone rang. The number on the screen didn’t ring any bell but I still anwered thinking that it maybe was someone from work who needed me.“Hello?” I asked into the phone, waiting for an answer on the other side.

“I heard you’ve been looking for me.”

<- Previous | Next ->

Living with my conservative, fatphobic, racist father.

Loaded title, I know. This is a lengthy one and if you actually stick through to the end thank you.

******TRIGGER WARNING: Eating Disorder talk, and fat phobia*******

I used to always say that I knew my dad was a good person, just misguided and just really lost in his way of thinking. I've tried educating him. I have tried explaining why he is wrong. Nothing changes 9 times out of 10. And the 1 time is simply a façade or maybe I did get through for a moment, but it went right back to before.

I won't lie, I used to just go with my dad said. I never understood politics, it was something my brain would NOT let me understand and I foolishly just went with whatever he said was right. I learned my lesson and I found ways to make politics make sense, different ways for things to be explained and I have been working to undo previous mindsets. I'm sure there is still things I am not even aware of that I need to change but I have every intention on educating myself and those around me so I can do better. I am ashamed of letting myself be led by hateful people. Never again.

I am currently seething and using my anger to keep from crying. I am so appalled and somewhat shocked at what came out of his mouth today. A bit of backstory is me and my niece we will call M both struggle with weight related issues and I try my damndest to make sure she never does what I did when I was her age. It was fucking 94 degrees out today and she wore a sweatshirt because she is ashamed of her stomach being big. She is also FUCKING 14. 14 years old.

Her and I went into walmart to do some shopping and my dad drove us. When we came back out, I made some comment about someone looking cute because I thought she thought he was cute. So then my dad goes, "I saw lots of women, I wish I could say they were all cute. Some were like 300lbs wearing clothes they shouldn't be." I sat there for a second, my heart stopped because I was shocked he said that in front of her. Me, whatever. I'd handle that differently, but her? When she already is ashamed of her body? Fuck no. I immediately said 'what' and he laughed and said they had 'loaves' hanging out and that no one wanted to see that. I turned to him and said, "First of all its hot as hell outside, they can wear what they want. That's rude and mean." And he of course got angry and tried to tell me that people that are big shouldn't wear certain things and to be honest, I was so heated I don't remember half of what I said, and he yelled over me anyway.

The conversation ended with me trying to not break down and make the point to him that that is exactly why I struggle to wear what I want because that's hurtful. My niece agreed and called him a Ken lmao. And he said, "You know what, I used to get comments like that when I wore shirts that rode up my belly until I realized no one wanted to see that." I just sat there feeling defeated, angry, and anorexic thoughts going through my head that haven't been for a while. I *almost* got to the point where I felt like I could wear a crop top I got the other day, and that just destroyed every last bit of me working to accept my body as it is.

My body is at the biggest I have ever been, I have spent the last 4 years gaining weight and stress eating because I have been unable to work because of my mental health and I have been trying to love my body, trying to accept it, trying to of course make healthy choices and lose the weight in a healthy manner. Today's interactions have sent me down a spiral of thoughts that I have been able to avoid for a while.

I am stuck living here until my husband and I are out of debt and can afford our own place, which is probably going to be 2-3 years out, and I don't know how to handle these comments anymore. He hates BLM, says it's a hate group no matter what I say to explain it, he called it the china virus, doesn't believe it's real, he has a problem with Muslim's, he constantly makes comments about peoples bodies and I have no fight in my anymore to try and explain to him why he is wrong and why what he says is hateful and hurtful. I am thankful that he has helped my husband and I, let us live rent free with him, helped us get what we need, etc. I really appreciate that he's been doing that. But fuck I can't deal with this.

This is the most public I have ever gotten about this. Is there support groups for living situations like this? Because FUCK.

As soon as he walked away and it was just me and my niece I told her I don't give two fucks what he had to say, no matter what a person weighs, no matter their body type they can wear what they want.

If you made it this far, and you struggle with your body:

You don't exist to please anyone. You CAN wear whatever the fuck you want. Please remember to punch people that say shit like that because fuck them.

Desert 365

Today marks one full year since we took a leap of faith and moved our whole ass lives down south to Joshua Tree. 

There was no way for Spencer and I to have known that a pandemic, explosion of racism, dismantling of the prison industrial complex, economic depression, lack of job security, and more would follow. We just thought a change of scenery from San Francisco was needed.

I have been reminiscing on lessons I have picked up in the past 12 months since trading in city hustle for desert life. Here is what I’ve learned so far.

1) The desert will suck you dry. I booked a massage the week after we moved down to the high desert to treat myself, and lamented about this to the therapist. She immediately put me in the mindset that to look and feel parched was certain death - maybe not the softest of introductions into my new environment, but one that has stuck with me. I changed my beauty regime to make sure my skin didn’t dry out, acquired accessories to help stay refreshed (tank tops and cooling towels FTW), and purchased bottles to take with me shopping, hiking, and driving so that I always had water (these are all different for a reason, trust me) (and double insulation is required, non-negotiable). If anything, it has been a valuable lesson in self care and precaution in order to stay hydrated.

2) There’s actual seasons in the desert. The biggest lie I believed was that it was always a balmy 75-80F in this neck of the California desert, peaking around 90F in the summer. Sounds dreamy, no? Well, because we’re at elevation, and in combination with dry heat with low humidity, it turns out it fucking snows here in the winter. We were blessed to have a white Thanksgiving and white Christmas in 2019, wherein I learned that 15F degree chill is painful when you are not wearing a bra. Thankfully the snowfall is limited to a handful of days and we’re not really ever at risk to being snowed in. Yet, I am so grateful we did not sell any of our thick, industrial snow gear. And the summers? Having now experienced highs of 115 during my first summer as a Joshua Tree resident, I have to say it’s not as bad because of that low humidity and constantly getting a breeze. Palm Springs doesn’t fare as well, since all their heat gets trapped in a canyon. But I have always been one to favor warmth, plus, the nights more than make up for dealing with scorching temperatures during the daytime. Sitting on my patio in a sundress at 9pm with no jacket is pretty baller. And the fall/spring time seasons are a true balance of hot and cold, making it the peak time to visit.

3) The desert is always actively trying to kill you. We have an inside joke that living in the desert is one of the most metal things in the world - the landscape is gorgeous, but there is also always the possibility of death. And it’s true. Humans were not really designed to live in such harsh conditions, and there’s a certain level of adaptability you have to embrace in order to endure the climate. The majority of plants down here have at least two layers of protection so that you don’t fuck with them, and much of the wildlife is always on the prowl to bite or sting you. Faced with injury and possibility of fatality, the desert has taught me more about my position in the food chain, and my place in relation to nature, way more than when I lived in a major city. And that appreciation and desire for wildlife to flourish has also helped oddly instill a sense of conservation I wish came sooner. I’ve picked up tactics to not only survive and be comfortable, but also hopefully to benefit the habitat I am lucky to be apart of. 

4) The desert will make you face some real fears and truths about yourself. This weirdly relates to the previous point. When you are left alone in an expansive, quiet space with no large visual distractions, it leads to some pretty deep contemplations about understanding who you are as a person. You are often left to your own reflection that may not have been possible amongst the noise and maelstrom of a busy city. I began to critically look at what my priorities where, what I was thankful for, and when COVID-19 hit, having the physical and emotional capacity to determine my next steps was integral for my sanity. Yet, this also had the opposite effect at moments. If you have too much time on your hands, letting your mind pounce on your previous failures, on the uncertainty of your talents can weigh deeply and feel devastating to personal growth. It wasn’t until I realized that I’d never sat down and addressed this despair and sorrow in a healthy way, at my own pace, that I could use this as leverage to cultivate change. There’s an old saying that people escape to the desert to run away from something, or to start anew. I like to think I did a bit of both.

Other micro lessons include:

Map where you’re going before driving out to your destination to make sure your car can handle soft shoulders, lest you get stuck and require someone to pull you out

Take your time finding friends, whether it’s through MeetUp, social events, or online; the older we get, the harder it is to find people, so spend the time to invest

Keep a pair of tweezers and tape nearby when you’re gardening, as you are sure to acquire a glochid in your skin 

How a whole town collectively decided they were going to really only operate between 7am-12pm is hard for a night owl like me, but I am slowly getting there

Truth be told, I don’t know how long we’ll be down here. The coronavirus has introduced a lot of uncertainty in regards to long-term plans. But, I do know the time I’ve bided so far has been some of the best months of my life, and I am grateful that we had the chance to experience the desert in all her glory.

Inspo: Lizzy Alvarado

Lizzy went from an internship at Steakworld to a career woman at depop. One of my favorite Lizzy stories is that she used the tips from a post I made on tumblr about” how to land an internship” ON me and got the job.  Now She is the the marketing manager at Depop and constantly making waves. She is always inspo for Hot Lava design and aesthetic so I wanted to highlight this hustler to inspire everyone to seize the moment and make it happen for yourself.

Q: What have you been working on lately?

With my job everything has turned digital, which has been a crash course on how to do an event in digital format. So, I’ve been doing a lot of [Instagram] lives with different artists and trying to bring the energy that I used to do with my work IRL to digital, so it’s kind of been a challenge, but it’s been fun.

At home, kind of just nesting it up. I feel like every few weeks I realize how long we’re going to be in quarantine—so I, like, redo my house a different way, so I think it’s kind of nice because since quarantine started I’ve really settled into my house. I have a lot of house plants and cats, so I’m kind of like trying to keep everything alive.

Q: What are some things you’ve been doing to prioritize “me time”?

I think by making myself a challenge. Right now, me and my best friend are doing this workout challenge, where we FaceTime each other and do the workout at the same time. It’s been my mental and physical entertainment, and gives me something I have to be held accountable for, like trying to workout and having a goal.

Recently, I took a week off. Even though were working from home I don’t think it’s the same as when you’re working; you always have to take a little break and reset and a lot of my coworkers and myself have not given ourselves that, because we’re working at home, when are we going to take that time and just sit? But recently I took a whole week off and I didn’t answer one Zoom meeting or do anything. For me, that reset my whole mindset and gave me time to just think about the reality of the position we’re all in, and my reality, like what I need to do instead of living in limbo of half doing things because I’m waiting for us to be out of quarantine his life for now just telling yourself that you need to adjust at least until like January or something for now and just set my dates back, pushing things back as things happen.

I feel like I’ve been working later and more sporadically when I’m working from home because you can just check your messages or your computer whenever, and you can get up and see the dishes are piling up and spent two hours cleaning your kitchen, and then you have to make up for it, and then you’re working until nine or something, so it’s definitely a balance figuring it all out.

Q: Can you give us a small walk through on how you started out in your career, and what younger you would need to hear to get where you are?

I started off by doing a PR internship in NY that was focused on beauty products. It was there that I learned a few hard truths like the "top 10 best products for glowing skin" mentioned in vogue was actually just a list of products that various PR agencies were able to pay off editors to add. It just didn't sit right to me and I didnt end up staying at the agency after my internship, but it did spark something in me about promoting products that I did like and that aligned with my values: sustainability, female owned brands, etc.

One great thing about my time in NY is that's where I happened to meet my boyfriend on one fateful night out at Max Fish which is usually the opposite of the place you meet your soulmate lol. Anyways fast forward a few months and  I ended up moving to LA for said boyfriend and had to completely start over. I had no connections in LA, no friends, and at that point was still too early in my career for my resume to stick out of a pile. The start was rough and I had to get PT jobs to make money while I figured out what the fuck I was going to do in this new place where people usually move to with very specfic big dreams.

Now to the good part, the part where HOT LAVA started it all for me. Rachael loves this story and I didn't actually admit it to her until several months after working for her. Basically I had been reading her advice column Steaktalk for a long time and she had a post about how to get a job. Literally she broke down how to set up your resume, cover letter, and mentioned ways to set yourself apart from the rest. Well I used it to apply for an internship with her and it worked! Once I had that experience in LA under my belt I was able to transition into a brand manager for The Cobra Shop which was right next door to the HL office and eventually I started working for Depop as a Marketing Manager which is where I am today.

Q: Tell me your most embarrassing moment in your current career/ relationship/ creative endeavor:

That’s a tough one. I feel like when you’re first starting out, everything feels embarrassing. I remember the first time I came to Hot Lava—I didn’t do anything I can think was embarrassing, but like, being embarrassed of my existence of just not knowing how to interact with people. Because when you just see everything online, when you finally meet people in person, sometimes it can be really overwhelming. It’s kind of funny to just be embarrassed for being yourself sometimes, but I feel like you grow out of it.

Q: Do you think about where you’d like to be in 5 years or even 1 year, or are you more of the “in the moment type”?

I am more of a person who is in the moment. I do think of where I want to be in five years but I don’t hang onto that title too much, because I think if I think, “In five years I want to be a CEO,” and right now I’m just a marketing manager, in my head I’m like, “What am I doing? I’m just out here everyday not doing that.”

I feel like I live in the moment as far as knowing that, if you are in the moment, it’s going to pay off in the future. If I do work on whatever I’m supposed to be doing at the time, or whenever I’m given the opportunity to do that, then yeah, it will pay off in the end.

I don’t think my career really started to move until I was able to accept being in the moment. For me, when I think about my jobs and how I got to being hostess in New York, to being a dog walker and now to becoming a marketing manager, I don’t think I was able to do that until I was able to say that I just need to live in the moment and get that job to make money right now.

I knew I thought I could do something great but I wasn’t able to do anything great until I was able to sit myself down and handle the basics like, get a job—not “the” job, but a job, and just do OK at that, get your money right, and get to the right place. And slowly I was able to start looking for internships and then I was able to get one. Then it just grew from there.

I feel like if I was living with my head in the clouds, thinking about the future, I wouldn’t have been able to do that because I wouldn’t have accepted just getting a basic job for now.

Q: What causes you stress and how do you ease those stresses?  

Prioritizing my work/home life tasks stress me out, especially working from home RN if you have a deadline but also a pile of dishes to do it's hard to ignore that when you aren't able to leave the house and ignore the home life stuff. I try to read self help books, make lists, ect. The biggest help is self talk and just reminding myself that the world won't just because your todo list isn't complete.

Q: Name one hobby:

I really like going out and riding my bike, so finding places are safe right now has kind of been the thing. I don’t go mountain biking or anything, I like riding my bike in a nice/safe area. I also don’t want to be in the city, so I’ve been looking for national parks nearby and local areas where you can do a 14 mile bike ride or something. I used to live in New York and I would ride my bike everyday, so I used to ride 25 miles a day, but now it’s like 12 miles I’ll make a whole day out of it.

I also really like music, but it’s sort of like a personal thing. I write songs and work on stuff, but I’ve never thought of it as something I’d do in reality. But, I’ve been doing that a lot more since we’ve been in quarantine.

Q: One thing you always tell your best friend:

I mean I tell her everything. I literally have become attached to Facetime with her daily since quarantine started. It's kind of a nice thing because she lives all the way in Texas so being stuck inside has brought us closer. I used to call her every couple of days and give her the highlight reel of my week but now it's like every 3 hours and life is so boring stuck inside that no detail is spared.

Q: If you wrote a book what would the title be and why?

Scared for No Reason: Why Doubting Yourself is Your Downfall.

I feel like there are already many books about this subject but I haven't found one I really connected to specifically. One of my biggest realizations in life is how much fear has stopped me from doing things I am actually really passionate about or interested in. I am still on the road to ultimate confidence (giving myself a deadline of reaching age 30 for this), but a lot of things changed in my life when I pushed past the fear and doubt that is a big part of my inner voice. A few examples are applying for internships that have led to my career (thanks Hot Lava), talking to my boyfriend who I have now been with for 5 years, walking up to a brand's creative director and telling them I can produce content for them and making that my side gig. The point is none of this would have happened if I was listening to that fear voice in my head saying I'm not good enough, pretty enough, or qualified enough.

Q: What's your favorite Hot Lava piece and why?

My fav Hot Lava piece recently would have to be the bike shorts or zebra dress just from a design perspective. I think the team really hit the nail on the head and created trending pieces in a unique Hot Lava style. My all time fav piece and first piece I ever bought is the surf top! I purchased the first one HL ever produced the night it launched in 2014 or 15? Its white and has an eye! But I love the cut the most. I have it in black and lime green too. It's just the perfect top, a contrast of modesty with the high neck but also sexy with the tightness.

What's on Lizzy's Playlist:

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

Endgame thoughts and emotions: A proper review

Yeah, I did the unthinkable today. I saw the movie for a second time. And in my defense, I did not want to. I laid in bed as my friend literally tried to pull me out of my blanket burrito and drag me to the movie theater. The issue is, he bought me a ticket and really wanted me to go with him for his first time showing. After much commotion, I dragged myself into a theater seat, pouted, and watched it for a second time.

I decided to try and find a silver lining in my misery: Now I can view the movie with a much clearer mindset, without the fog of fan excitement and the years worth of anticipation. Plus, it was a matinee showing, so I was sure the crowd would be a lot less rowdy and I would be able to really immerse myself in what was happening. And most of all, if I was going to bitch this much about the movie, I decided it was only fair I really give it a good watch.

So here I go: Thoughts and emotions the second time around.

Too long; didn’t read: It’s still shit.

Tony’s opening scene in the Benatar remains to be the best part of the film, along with his confrontation with the team, specifically Rogers. These moments are why the film started off so strong – we were receiving exactly what we waited for since Civil War. I repeat, we waited 3 years for Civil War to finally pay off. But it’s really pathetic that the only good parts of this film are the beginning, right before the 5 years later cue card.

Despite the amazing pay off from the fallout in Civil War and the incredible acting from RDJ during that confrontation scene, the pacing of the beginning STILL felt all sorts of weird. For starters, did Marvel just assume that every single movie-goer would watch Captain Marvel/Captain Marvel’s end credits scene?

Without that scene, without the whole “We found Fury’s beeper.” and “Where’s Fury?”, Captain Marvel’s entrance makes ZERO sense. And ya know what? Even after seeing the movie [Captain Marvel] it STILL makes zero sense. This is one of the many moments in the film that we’re left to assume. We’re left to assume that the team told Carol about Tony having flown to space to stop the doughnut ship, and we’re left to assume that she went and spent 3 weeks looking for him.

I was flooded with questions before the title card even rolled: When did they find Fury’s pager? And how did they find Fury’s pager? Were they just walking the streets and came across it, or did it have a GPS of sorts on it, or did it have an alert set to notify the compound in case of emergency? Did they tell Carol to go search for Tony or did Carol come across Tony on her own accord? How did they know Tony fought Thanos?? Tony even asks “Who told you that?” Well, who told him that? Did they receive the messages from his Iron Man helmet from when he was onboard the Benatar?

And let’s talk about Irondad&Spiderson moment that wrecked me – “I lost the kid.” Don’t get me wrong, this had me peeing my pants a little bit. But HOW did Steve know about “the kid”? His face says he knows, the way he reacted says he knows. Does he just know Spider-man is a kid, and he knew Spider-man went to space with Tony Stark, thus that’s the kid Tony refers to? Or did Steve also know about Peter before Civil War? Perhaps he was someone they both were planning to recruit, but Tony got to him first. How does he know about “the kid?”

That’s a lot of questions for the first, what, 10 minutes?

Immediately feeling the pacing so off balance in the movie this soon was incredibly troublesome. It only gets worse once they go off to kill Thanos. Because the moment Thor walks out of that hut, the movie takes a nose dive it never stood a chance to recover from.

5 years later.

Fuck that noise.

Okay, so the “5 years later” part didn’t bother me during my first watch. Because I so strongly (and naively) thought time-reversal was the end fate for this film. It was the only goddamn thing that made sense. But, to say the least, nothing following this cue card makes sense.

For starters, there’s just NO information given to the viewers about what happens from the fallout of The Decimation. So once again, we’re left to assume. Did the Avengers hold a press conference? Does the world now know about other universes and infinity stones and magic? Was Carol Danvers the one to explain that? Or Tony? Was the world angry with the Avengers for not stopping Thanos? Does the world even KNOW about Thanos? Does the world know what we the audience know or did the government sell them a lie? How about the Accords – did that dust away too, because we see Natasha handling business with the help of Nebula, Rocket, Rhodey and Carol.

But there’s not even a HINT of what civilians think or what they were told. We’re left to assume.

It turns out Steve’s little support-group-talk about “Some of us moving on” was actually a way for The Russo Brothers to completely erase his character development of the past handful of movies. Here we naively thought he was talking about moving on from the loss of Bucky and Sam and the other half of the universe…nope. All a ploy to remind the audience that despite the fact Steve Rogers said goodbye to Peggy Carter, buried her body, and began to live his own life in this new time and world, he still hadn’t moved on from the woman he loved for 21 months. Not only is this a giant slap in the face to Steve’s narrative, but he’s turned into a hypocrite by preaching “move on” without actually moving on himself. “Some of us move on…but not us.” is NOT a way to justify his actions at the end of this film.

I’ll say it now and here: I’m positively sick of Hollywood preaching that happy endings only come in the form of romantic relationships.

Natasha’s little spiel about family was sweet. I knew she was dead the moment she said it. My first viewing, I was okay with this. I actually felt a little touched, knowing that she got redemption from her red ledger by making the sacrifice for the family that she found. Upon my second viewing, I actually got pissed. Very pissed. Ya know why? Because Clint deserved to make that sacrifice. Nay, he needed to be the one to make it. But I’ll get there.

Paul Rudd’s acting for his reunion with Cassie was actually really touching. In fact, Scott Lang probably suffered the least amount of character-development-fuckery in this entire film. It probably helps that he was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years instead of living with the others. I guest we’re just supposed to assume these characters changed over the course of 5 years, because they sure as hell aren’t acting like themselves.

*sigh* Tony…*bigger sigh* Morgan Stark. I know I’ve said it once before, if not multiple times already. I’m sorry for being a broken record. But Tony did not need to have a kid. She only served purpose to the narrative if time had been reversed. Perhaps Tony procreated with Pepper after Infinity War because he felt he needed to contribute to society and help get the universe back to how it was. Okay, I can flow with that. Even his insistence later on that they bring the dusted back but “keep everything from the past 5 years, at all cost” would play majestically into the ultimate sacrifice of losing his daughter for the other half of the universe to return. Watching these scenes [with his daughter] the first time around wasn’t as painful when I so naively thought time reversal would occur. My unbelievably intense opinion that Tony and Pepper did not need a kid keeps me from even remotely enjoying them now. Another thing Hollywood so wrongly assumes and pushes on audiences: If you’re a couple, you have to have a kid. Tony and Pepper were just fine without one and bringing a child into their story only prevented Tony from reversing time.

Also, the little girl who played Morgan was horribly directed. I know she was young, and I know kid actors aren’t great to begin with. But she mumbled all her lines and never looked anywhere but the ground. I will give credit to RDJ for playing the fantastic Irondad we all knew at heart he was, and I’ll treasure those moments with Peter in mind instead of Morgan.

But again, more questions arise from here. Steve, Natasha and Scott come to talk Tony into doing a time heist. The way Tony looks at them all…I can only assume he hasn’t spoken to them in years. But when? When did they all fall apart? Was it directly after he slammed his arc reactor/nano housing unit into Steve’s hand and passed out? Was it after the team told him, off camera, that Thanos was dead and the stones were gone? Have they kept in touch at all?

For the most part, Tony seems civil to them – “Table is set for 6, if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.” and even pours them all drinks. But so much was left unsaid/off screen that I have no idea what’s gone on between these characters in the past 5 years. A cue card doesn’t tell me narrative. At this point in the film, I’ve already got a headache. I’m asking too many questions and getting so little answers.

I cannot even begin to express my utter disappointment in how they handled Professor Hulk. Even during my first viewing of this film, I had face palmed at this diner scene. Mark Ruffalo had a very well-thought out mini story in every Avengers film and even during Thor: Ragnarok. His struggle to control the Hulk, and Hulk’s distaste for Banner, all led up to Professor Hulk. How Banner described him is exactly how he was supposed to be – brains and brawns, the best of both worlds.

He was instead used for jokes. And lets be honest, he just looked weird. He acted weird, he looked weird, and every time he had a moment on screen I was just uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. I loved Ruffalo’s performance of Bruce Banner and all that just went away with this film. I don’t even like to think of Bruce Banner in this movie. Science Bros went away, his dynamic with the team went away, so much went away.

It felt like watching an alternate universe Avengers at this point, it really did.

Tony’s desire to get Peter back saved the universe: That is fact, that is canon. He was adamantly against time travel until he saw that photo and then BAM, he figures it out. I will take joy in this moment, despite wanting it to be something else. I really wanted this to be a grieving moment, I really wanted him to be at May’s place (who be are left to assume got dusted) or at a makeshift funeral/memorial or something. I’m happy to have gotten this scene, I really am. But I also feel empty from it. Perhaps that’s because so much is left unsaid that we’re left to assume the nature of Peter and Tony’s relationship since Homecoming.

So again, I get my hopes up for this time reversal that never pans out. Tony  has a conversation with Pepper about how he figured out the time travel nonsense, but he could put a pin in it immediately and forget all about it. Pepper, softly and a little heart broken, said he wouldn’t be able to rest if he did. In my honest opinion, that was Pepper telling Tony “I don’t want to lose what we have…but so many others lost so much more. We can try this again. We can have a second chance.” That, to me, was Pepper accepting the possibility of time being reversed to 2018 and losing Morgan and their cabin and all they had done in the past 5 years. In that moment, she accepted that. She gave him her blessing.

This made sense to me, this made sense to the narrative. Because this would leave Tony with a heart breaking choice of choosing the universe over his daughter. But he would, because that would be his ultimate sacrifice. One last sacrifice, to quote his movie poster. He’d be absolutely heart broken but he would know that his loss was nothing compared to all those who were dusted, all those who lost their lives by the dusted (falling air crafts, ect) and all those who took their lives due to the grief. He’d make that decision. And we’d go back to 2018 where time would be restored to how it was. If the writers really wanted to keep the Morgan nonsense, they could have even give him a happy ending by Pepper announcing she’s pregnant in 2018, showing that he’ll still have Morgan and his happy life.

Ultimately, this is not what pans out. Things only get worse from here.

Tony returns to the team, who failed at managing time travel with Scott due to lacking a time-travel-GPS. I’m not even touching that scene, it’s just sorta pointless and there were pee jokes and…yeah. Tony invents this time gps and agrees to help them, so long as nothing changes from the past 5 years. He gifts Steve a new shield, admitting that resentment is corrosive.

So…I’m left to assume he and the team really did split ways after his return from space. I mean, it’s a sweet moment….but I’m also left to assume what the shield is made out of. Is it Vibranium? Does that mean Thanos’ sword can cut through Vibranium, as it goes on to cut through his shield during the final battle?

A throw away line here was vital and never received. Steve’s shield was widely known for being made from the strongest metal in the world, and if you’re going to recreate it, you need to establish if it’s made of the same material. A simple “You better not toss that around like a Frisbee all the damn time, it’s not made of the worlds strongest metal, ya know.” or “It cost me an arm and leg to get some of that glorious Vibranium from Wakanda. Be careful with that thing.” And all you’d have to do to make time for this one throw away line would be cut one of the many unnecessary childish jokes in the movie, or reduce the “Nah, take a picture with him, ‘cmon!” scene from like, a solid minute to 30 seconds.

Its small things like this sprinkled throughout the entire film that goes to shine a light on how awful the script really was.

They decide to get the team back together, which includes Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula. And Thor.

Pour one out for Thor. He ain’t dead, but his character development sure as hell is.

My anger with Marvel, the MCU, Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers stands to be for so many reasons, but this one might just take the cake. Once all of my anger dissipates from bad writing, the destruction of character development, the immature jokes – this will be the one thing that remains. I will never forgive any of the parties involved for turning Thor’s clear-as-day PTSD into a fat joke. Thor became a depressed, traumatized alcoholic.That is NOT something to make light of, and yet at every corner there was a joke for him.

His one serious moment – when Professor Hulk mentioned Thanos’ name and he was so clearly triggered into a state of emotional distress – was laughed off by Rocket telling him they had beer on the ship. So not only was his depression laughed at with the fat jokes, but his alcoholism was turned into jokes as well. As someone who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, I cannot condone this type of humor, especially for young children. There are some things you just do not make fun of.

I wrongly trusted Marvel to be able to handle mental health issues with grace and dignity, as seen in Iron Man 3. They did more than drop the ball on this. They played skee ball with it.

Oh, and Hawkeye is now Ronin (was his name actually said, though? I guess we’re left to assume again) and he’s been murdering a shitton of people. Natasha finds him, says a sad line about “not being able to give hope sooner” and recruits him. So that’s cool, I guess. Problem is no one cared about his family to begin with and they still sorta don’t. But, yeah…everyone bring the murderer onboard. Cool. It’s sorta telling the audience (which includes kids) that its okay to murder as long as you actively kill bad guys, but yeah, whatever.

Now, things have been bad up to this point. Very bad. But it just gets so much uglier from here. The team discuss Time Travel and try to tell the audience how it REALLY works in their universe – by dismissing the notion of “you mess with the past, you mess with your future” theory all movies tend to have. This is essentially the butterfly effect and its really the only way to go about time travel.

But they couldn’t do that, because then we couldn’t have the time travel shenanigans that follow. And honestly, I’ve seen a LOT of things with time travel, and their explanation still doesn’t make sense. “You can’t change the past, only your present, which then becomes your past.” Whatever, Russo Brothers. You’re just trying to pass off a shitty time travel plot without actually caring about it.

Clint does a trial run of time travel, it works, and then they go about figuring out where the stones were so they can travel back to get them. None of this was entertaining. Rocket calling Scott a puppy fell flat, for starters. Thor having an obviously distressful triggered moment recalling his mother and Jane was painful to watch and equally painfully to hear the audience howl in laughter from it. It was nice to see a 15 second shot of Tony, Natasha and Bruce laying against each other, surrounded by books as they try to figure things out but these type of brief, fleeting moments were why I was so found-family-trope baited in the first place. 4 movies too late, MCU.

Also, Nebula tells them clear as day that Vomir is a place of death and Thanos went and came back without his sister, to which Scott jokes “Not it.” So SERIOUSLY, Nat and Clint knew something was up before they even went. Dick move to whoever sent them there.

Time travel shenanigans from here. They split into teams and go to their past locations where everyone fucks up everything in every timeline, but there are no consequences because the narrative established “you can’t change the past”

Listen, I do not even WANT to try and understand this. I don’t. It’s why I don’t mess with TheFlashTV anymore. Professor Hulk goes to get the time stone but The Ancient One won’t give it to him and they have this long drawn out discussion about how if the team doesn’t return the stones, her new timeline/reality is doomed. So Bruce’s astral form promises to bring them back and he tells her Strange gave it up willing and she gives it to him and…*sigh* Again, the Russo Brothers using cheap lines to try and explain their shitty use of time travel. This scene exists solely for Steve Rogers. It gives him his reason to travel to the past at the end and return all the stones to their rightful place (and, as it will later be discussed, say Fuck You to everyone in the year 2023.) That’s all this scene is here for.

Loki got away with the space stone/tessract, Thor gets to talk with his mother while Rocket grabs the reality stone, Nebula somehow connected with past Nebula’s harddrive and Thanos got to see her memories and Clint and Natasha did a little remake of the Thanos and Garmora sacrifice from Infinity War. To make matters even WORSE, because Loki got away with the space stone, Steve and Tony have to travel to 1970, to the SHIELD bunker seen in The Winter Soldier and where the space stone/tessract is being kept, as well as grab some additional Pym Particles on the way since they didn’t have enough for the additional jump.

This entire scene is garbage. Tony runs into a young Howard Stark. And I guess because Tony’s a dad now, he goes on to forgive his own dad for abusing him. As a child of abuse, fuck that noise. Howard is made out to be a man with good intentions and Tony even hugs him before he travels back.

It’s like the Russo Brothers wanted to write Tony having everything he ever wanted (a family, a kid, closure with his father) before they killed him off. This scene served nothing to the movie, nothing to Tony’s narrative and really sent a harsh message to victims of parental abuse. The mix messages with Howard along the way of the MCU films are so flawed I cannot even begin to describe them here.

Oh, and Steve runs into Peggy’s office where he stares at her from afar. This is the Russo Brothers once again shoving down the agenda that Steve Rogers needs to be with Peggy Carter if he’s to be happy. Despite having said his goodbye and having buried her body, he’s still hung up on the woman he knew for 21 months over 16someyears ago since coming out of the ice. So we get that.

Rhodey and Nebula grab the power stone. Rhodey spends like, 1 minute talking about the temple being boobytrapped only for them to walk into it fine. Not sure what that dialogue was there for. Nebula burns her hand off getting the power stone, they go to travel back but 2014 Thanos links with 2023 Nebula’s mind harddrive and accesses her memories and discovers the future and…yeah, I’m just not even in the mood to explain this. Nebula was kept around as a plot device. It’s a real shame to see her character reduced to that. Also, jumping way ahead here — someone seriously needs to explain to me how she still exists after killing her past self. I need that explanation like whoa.

Thor’s conversation with his mother about “being who he’s meant to be, not who he’s supposed to be” would have been more touching if the fat jokes weren’t tossed in every other line. He legit had a panic attack, even SAYS “I think I’m having a panic attack.” and how do the writers go about this serious mental health issue? By having Rocket slap him.

I was sitting near a middle-aged man who howled SO loudly with laughter at this, it reminded me of how people laughed at the 3 stooges. Way to go with that one, Marvel.

I think that about sums up the time travel shenanigans. While it was fun to watch the 2012 Battle of New York from a different perspective, everything just got so royally fucked up that my headache was turning into a migraine at this point in the film. But again, it doesn’t matter. Time travel in this movie is explained as “You can’t mess things up. You can’t change the past.”

But wait. The best is yet to come. Our first death of the movie. It’s bad enough that Natasha died instead of Clint, but to have her death be such a blatant rip off of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War is a real slap in the face.  All the way down to the usage of the same score music. Why? That only made the scene less emotional and moreso, took away from the impact of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War. The entire time, I felt like I was watching a fanfic with that scene. Among many others.

Clint deserved/needed to die instead. I get that they “battled it out” to be the one to jump, and he wanted to be the one to die – I get it. But that’s just…sorta not good enough. Because the writers wrote all that in when it didn’t need to happen. For starters, the entire fight over who jumped was drawn out and quiet frankly, hilarious. Sure, it showed a bit of their personalities and what friendship they had, but it ended up laughable. Maybe that’s because everything leading up to this felt like such a joke as well that I couldn’t take any of it seriously.

Regardless, while I’m not nearly as angry at Natasha’s death as I am Tony’s, I still strongly believe Clint should have been the one. Otherwise, the message I walked away with is: It’s okay to go on a murdering spree when you’re feeling hurt and bummed out, as long as you say sorry for it and try to take the spot of sacrificing your life. 

I would say that Marvel didn’t want to kill off a “family man” with Clint, as he had his family and kids, but Tony had that at this point as well. I feel they killed Natasha off because they didn’t know what else to do with her, as so clearly evident in her other films. She had no direction with these movies, no real character arc to go off of, and even with her solo movie in the works (an obvious prequel) she was sort of an empty slate waiting for her story to be told. Marvel never used her properly, never really took advantage of her, and at one point even gave her a relationship that did NOT need to be [Brutasha] because they were so clueless as to what to do with the only female Avenger. (Which means she HAS to have a love interest, right? RIGHT? God, Hollywood sucks with females)

They return to 2023 with all their stones and without Natasha. There’s a 1 minute grieving scene where Professor Hulk throws a bench in the lake and Steve blinks a tear and that’s…it. I mean, christ, don’t dedicate another second  longer to the poor woman, we couldn’t have that. Gotta make room for all those fat jokes. /s

They put the stones into Tony’s nano gauntlet and fight over who should put the gauntlet on – Professor Hulk wins. He says some shit that’s pulled straight out of his ass about gamma and how much gamma is surrounding the glove and that only he can handle it because Hulk is gamma. “It’s like I was made for this.”

Okay, whatever. Seriously, all this is so out of nowhere that I can’t muster the strength to care. A universe that always relied on collective narrative and plots weaved throughout movies is just pulling shit straight out of their asses at this point and I’m supposed to eat it. Please just snap your fingers and reverse time to 2018, Professor Hulk. That’s all I’m waiting for.

Tony once again says DO NOT lose the past 5 years and I guess the stones work off of what you’re thinking (ie: why they won’t let Thor do it, he’s too much of a mental mess) so Bruce…thinks about the dusted and snaps and…yeah. The dusted are back. A bit anticlimactic.

This also raises SO many questions about so many other things…what about those that got dusted in crashing airplanes? Are they just falling from the sky now?  People who were in boats that are no longer there, or in trains, or cars? What if they were dusted where a wall is now built? Are they morphed into the wall? Not to mention, bringing the dusted back in the year 2023, 5 years from when they were dusted…the legal problems that will occur. What if you had an apartment and someone is living there now? Where’s your stuff? What if your spouse married another person? Not to mention, what if your loved ones who survived The Decimation committed suicide in grief?

What about all that life insurance that was dished out?

None of this is explained. I doubt any of it ever will be. As the audience, I am once again left to assume.

So anyway, cue final battle scene. Thanks to time travel fuckery, 2014 Thanos is in 2023 and he bombs the shit out of the compound and it’s all CGI action from this point forward.

I mean, the fight was pretty cool. It was just…it was a lot of CGI, and to be honest, it was dark. Like, hard to see kind of dark. I get the tone and atmosphere they were going for, but one of the reasons I loved the Wakanda battle scene in Infinity War so much is because it was during the daylight. Even the battle of Titan was bright. Again, I get the tone they were going for, but I had a lot of trouble seeing what was going on, and it was a lot at once.

The OG 3 fight Thanos alone at first, which was cool. They all get their asses handed to them and Steve’s the one left to try and finish him off, solo, when Doctor Strange opens portals around the universe and brings all the dusted and army’s to the fight. I’d like to say I felt the same excitement watching this the second time around as I did the first, but I just…didn’t. Knowing the ending of this movie robbed a lot of initial joyful moments and if you ask me, a movie shouldn’t do that.

Also, yes, the fanservice moments exist. Steve lifts Mjolnir and says Avengers Assemble. I’m sorry, that’s not enough for me to forgive the mess of this movie.

A few pairs have their reunion scattered along the battlefield. I absolutely adored Peter and Tony’s, though I remained vastly uncomfortable that Peter was suddenly 5 years in the future and even addresses it as much. “And then Doctor Strange said you gotta hurry, it’s been 5 years!” Like…again, if this was reversed, that’s fine. But friggin hell. At this moment he doesn’t even remember turning to dust and how much pain he was in. Simply “Remember when I got all dusty? I must have passed out.” They hug though, so at the end of this shitshow at least the Irondad&Spiderson fanbase got their hug.

Rocket and Groot exchange a look and say nothing.

Fucking Steve and Bucky don’t even talk or see each other in battle. Probably because the Russo Brothers reallllyyy wanted to push that Steve/Peggy agenda and not remind anyone of Stucky. I look back on my complaints about the Irondad&Spiderson in this movie and take my grateful’s that we got the hug, because the poor Stucky fanbase got friggin robbed.

So again, big giant CGI battle fest. At one point they’re playing Hot Potato with the gauntlet trying to keep it away from Thanos and get it to Scotts van. I will admit, seeing Peter get like, 11 moms all at once was badass. Though it broke my heart to see him curled up in a tight ball holding the gauntlet like that…boy gunna have some real PTSD that Far From Home will likely brush off with more jokes disregarding and disrespecting the seriousness behind mental health and trauma.

I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I repeat: I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I know this moment had a LOT of characters to balance, but christ. If the writers can’t handle multiple characters with grace, they shouldn’t be handling multiple characters to begin with. Most were in this battle scene for the sake of showing their face. I mean, did Mantis even fight? So much was going on I couldn’t see past the center focus.

And I know a LOT of people complained that they didn’t want Captain Marvel to be the one that saves the day, but honestly, she would have been the better fit.

Tony making the final snap was done for shock factor. I stand by it. The narrative called for Steve Rogers to lay down his life in a blaze of glory, and because people predicted that – which is NOT a bad thing! It just means you’re telling your story well! – they took a hard left. Steve Rogers was a man out of his time, and his narrative told us time and time again he struggled with his life without a war. He needed the fight, that was his purpose. And his purpose should have ended with that final snap.

Instead, because movies want to be edgy and unpredictable, they ruined the narrative of Tony Stark and the final snap kills him. It’s horrific to watch. His last audible words are “I am Iron Man” and his last mumbled words are “Hey, babe” to Pepper. He gurgles blood out of his mouth, his brain is melting from the sheer power of the stones, Peter legit just sobs over him and he dies after Pepper feeds him some poetic, flowery shit about “You can rest now.”

This would be an immensely touching moment if it weren’t telling the audience that death is rest and the only way Tony could rest is if he died. First and foremost, I’m sorry, I do not consider death to be rest. Death is the end of existence. And Tony Stark had plenty of opportunities to rest without death. But the Russo Brothers decided 5 years of happiness was enough for him (when honestly, was it truly happiness? We all know he was harboring guilt from the Decimation and still mourning Peter) so they gave him those 5 years and then killed him off.

Between Thor, Natasha, and Tony, the MCU has taken society’s fight against the stigma on mental health back like, 25 years. Their answer to those who have mental trauma is to make fat jokes or kill them because that’s the only way they’ll be at peace. I guess this means Spidey is next, because there’s no way a 17 year old teenager is walking way from that without some serious PTSD.

Just by watching it I have PTSD.

I’m just not even touching this one in full extent. I’m sure other people will say it better than me and already have. All I will say is this: The past 11 years of film and subsequently the collective narrative told over the course of 22 films created a purpose for each of these two characters — Tony Stark struggled to move on from the fight, to truly let go of being Iron Man and retire. Steve Rogers struggled with his place in the world, moving on from Peggy Carter and finding purpose in fighting the battles that needed won.

Tony Stark deserved an ending of retirement, or even semi-retirement, perhaps taking on an advisory role at Shield. It would show the audience that sometimes you shouldn’t fight what feels natural within yourself, and Tony had a natural urge to be involved in this superhero life. He still could be, from afar, like a new Nick Fury.

And Steve Rogers, a man out of his time, deserved to win that battle in the blaze of glory, laying down his life for the other half of the universe. I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel cheated for not seeing his death.

The Russo Brothers got this wrong. And shame one everyone who supported them along the way. These character’s had arcs established for many films prior to this and with a “5 Years Later” cue card all that just goes out the window.

Tony’s funeral exists solely for the purpose of doing a slow pan shot of a ton of faces standing around somberly. As an Irondad&Spiderson fan, it hurt to see Peter directly behind Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Happy. May looked to be the same age/not aged up so I have to assume she got dusted as well. And since I’m being honest here: I know a lot of people fawn over Harley and Tony, but him being there made little to no sense to me. Plus, 95% of the audience didn’t even know who he was.

But again, this scene exists solely so we can show a bunch of big name faces at once, the big “group shot” that’s been spoken about so much during the hype of this movie. Even General Ross is there, the little fucker.

And to be even more of a bitter little sarcastic ass — the sailing away of his first arc reactor was sweet, truly, it was. But I look at that lake surrounding their cabin and think…it’s just gunna float around out there, making it’s laps around the cabin. I’d hate to be Pepper, waking up one morning and seeing it near the front porch. Unless they go and collect it once everyone leaves…I dunno, fuck, I just don’t even like thinking about this part of the film. It all played out like so much fanfiction I’ve read waiting for this movie. This just wasn’t supposed to be the movies ending, I really can’t say that enough.

Clint and Wanda have a moment that, I suppose, is there to tell us they’re grieving over Nat and Vision. It all felt like cheap throw away lines. Natasha deserved so much more than that, and hell, so did Vision. And hell, so did half of Asgard, and Loki, and all the people who died because of The Decimation.

But it’s okay. Steve’s going to return the stones back to their proper timelines, as promised to The Ancient One, and with that opportunity of time travel he’s going to give the middle finger to the remaining team members he has by staying back in time and “living some of that life Tony told him to get.” How, you ask? By using his other hand to give his other middle finger to the life Peggy Carter established long after him, with a husband and children and a career at SHIELD, so he can marry her.

😑

Imma be honest, when I first watched this movie, it was the cheeseburger line that really broke me. Up til that very moment, I held strong. I ignored all the shitty jokes, the shitty unraveling of character development, the shitty use of time travel, the shitty death of Tony Stark – I ignored it all. For some reason, the cringey-as-fuck “Your father liked cheeseburgers. I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.” line just broke me. It read so much like badly written fanfiction that to sound like the obnoxious white girl I am, I couldn’t even anymore.

But once this scene hit, I was done. This was my “Nah, fuck this movie.” moment. This was my “I absolutely do not accept this” moment. This was when I walked out of the theaters, not waiting for an end credit scene that didn’t even exists anyway, or the credits of all the actors who’ve been in the MCU since 2008. I walked out the moment that dance ended, furious. And honestly, sticking around for that montage the second time around was rough. The anger hadn’t gone away yet.

So, to sum up? Avengers: Endgame played out like a fans poorly written, rushed, badly scripted fanfiction. But that fan had only watched Infinity War and read a couple of fanfictions afterward to get the gist on how to even write in the first place.

I’ve defended the MCU up until this moment. I know a lot of people jumped ship after Civil War; clearly the Russo Brothers were doing something wrong then. But they absolutely destroyed the universe with this movie to the likes that I’ve personally never seen before. What should have been a proper send off for characters (death or no death) ended up being a laughable joke of bad script writing, poor treatment to characters who had been around for a decade, and an idiotic usage of time travel.

Doctor Strange saw 14 million futures. In my head, Endgame was merely one of their lost battles. In my head, I have disowned this movie from the franchise. And while I will always be a Marvel fan, I’m likely done with the MCU moving forward in this odd universe of 2023. It’s just sad that I have to say goodbye with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, that’s what fannon and fandom is for.

[TRANS] Jaehyun interview for ‘Grazia’ April 2019!

“I think I want to show a little bit more of me. I’m always trying my best and working towards higher goals but this year I want to show various images of me either through special stages or multiple channels. I have to grab each opportunity one by one.”

”You’ve practiced bowling for 3 weeks and became a silver medalist at the ISACs! Were you always this good at sports? It’s something I got from my dad it seems. I’ve naturally liked sports since I was a kid so it was a part of my life. Especially ball games, I’ve tried about all of them and I ended up liking basketball the most. So if you were to take a physical strength test you’d end up as #1? Whenever there was a sport event I was running as a representative of my school. Hahaha. What else is there that you can say you’re good at? Try to brag about yourself a little. If there’s something that sparks my interest and I like it, I immerse myself in it till the very end. It’s not always like this but when I start something I try to do my best at it. What has gotten your attention recently? Recently I was into bowling for a bit, but even then something I always love is music and singing.

Not long ago NCT 127 held a solo concert. Since it’s the first concert since your debut it must be extremely meaningful to you personally. That’s right. After the concert was done I felt really grateful that my job is being a singer. Usually, I’d say I feel happy after performing. After that concert, the feeling has become so much clearer. Was there anything you were worried about during concert preparations? From the very beginning, we wanted to show different charms so I was preparing in order to do that. From stages to showcase songs to dance performances and walking stages where members could spurt their personal charms. Is there any moment that you could point out as the most crucial? We’ve prepared our lightsticks to have fun with our fans. There was a time when we were trying to synchronize our lightstick movements but then it seemed like I had a bit too much fun as the lightstick started shaking slightly. And then my lightstick just flew off. I was holding onto it with way too much power. So the moment when in the end I was just waving the handle of the lightstick has remained in my memory. (laughs) So is there any moments that you felt were a bit regretful? We held concerts on 2 days and the first day was fun, but also a bit of a shame. It felt like each moment was really rushed so we thought we’ll have to take a more relaxed approach next time. So Day 2 was more chill in comparison to Day 1, but then at the end, our final talk lead to a really emotional moment so I tried to bear with the unknown feelings that resurfaced. So it was even more of a shame. I thought we can’t even make it fun till the very end... So I learned that your heart will only feel lighter if you let everything go without any regrets on the stage. So now that you’re touring in Japan you’ll be pouring your heart like this? That’s it. Every stage, every concert one by one I’ll be pouring it all out until there’s nothing left. (laugh)

What does ‘NCT 127-ly’ mean? Have you ever thought about it? Um… Neo? I think that’s our charm, being always new and fresh. Whether it’s a concept, a song or appearance wise we always try our best to showcase something new, I think it’s a good thing about us. As of now is there anything you or NCT 127 need? I would like to gain a lot of experience through our concerts. The more I learn from experience, I realise I need more different experiences more than anything else in order to move forward. Before you knew it 4 years have passed since your debut. As years repeat, do you feel like you’ve grown as a person? I feel so every time we release an album. When recording I put effort into each song but later when listening there’s always an unsatisfying bit. Then I go like ‘Next time I’ll have to sing it like this’ and practice through self-reflection. So then when recording the next album I can put things I learned into action. It’s the same when shooting jacket photos for an album or when having magazine photoshoots. In order to be more comfortable, I practice laying down. So that I can showcase a different image. Doing something for a long time doesn’t make it any easier. Now, what’s something you’re used to by now and what do you still struggle with? I guess to a degree I know how music shows work (laugh)? No matter what time I have to get up and get ready, I’ll get used to that pattern. Something that’s still hard is singing and dancing. It really is endless. You think you’ve gotten better and the next thing you know there’s something else to improve. So I still get nervous when I’m in front of the camera. It didn’t seem like it when I saw you when you were shooting earlier? To be honest… I was nervous earlier too. Then how much better would you be if that stress disappeared? I’d love for it to go away quickly (laugh).

You had your first solo photoshoot today. Be honest, have you prepared at all? I was a bit careful with my diet yesterday. Hahaha. I usually look for poses I like in magazines or when we’re out shopping I browse some on mobile apps more often than not. Those things help me out a little. Since you have a lot of interest in fashion, do you dream of the next generation fashionista title? Hahaha. If I’ll have a bit more interest and study hard… Wouldn’t it be possible? What’s your personal style? I don’t have one exact style I like. I try wearing various things. Rather than going for something fancy or plain I tend to prefer something closer to an unique style. For instance even if I wear a shirt and slacks, I like it when the fit is unique. So it’s still a long way. I need to build up more experience. Usually, with new year, you abandon things you’re used to and embrace the unknown. Not long ago you have stepped down from your radio program of 2 years, it seems to be bittersweet. It really is a shame. As we were seeing each other every day of the week it felt a little more like a family. Before the last broadcast, I kept telling myself ‘You will not cry. You can’t cry’, but as we were reading handwritten letters I got all choked up. As we received messages from our listeners everyday it felt like we got closer, and thinking that I won’t see the staff again makes me feel weird. With having to do radio duties during busy schedules you never really had a day off. Even if we had really tight schedules we haven’t missed a day. On days like this, I’d go to the broadcasting station with a healing mindset. So on the other hand, is there anything new happening this year? Today’s shoot (laugh)? Oh, that’s rewarding to me as a head editor. It was fun. I’ve tried different styles and there wasn’t any particular concept which I liked. And a few other things include our tour, we did our first Korean concept, we’re touring in Japan and soon in North America too. What’s your goal for this year? I think I want to show a little bit more of me. I’m always trying my best and working towards higher goals but this year I want to show various images of me either through special stages or multiple channels. I have to grab each opportunity one by one. What are the higher goals? Becoming the best singer and becoming a person with own confident colour. And personally, I want to become a bigger person. What’s Jaehyun’s own colour? My dressing style or the tone of my voice. Or it could be my style of dancing. I’m still trying to find it out myself. Then what are you greedy for in the future? First of all whenever given a chance I’m going to do my best and face whatever’s in front of me. Kinda like ISACs hahaha. Tell us a trivial thing that made you happy recently. I bought new scented candles recently. They smell really good, so I light them up, connect a Bluetooth speaker and listen to music so it’s really comfortable and nice. If you could spend one day freely, what would you do? Time and space can be bent. I’d really like to travel. I haven’t had a chance to go to Europe, so I’d like to visit there. Go on a week course that takes more than a week in just one day. It’s your birthday soon. How would you like to spend it this year? If I think about it, it’s been special every year since I turned 20. On my 20th birthday, we had the first performance in Thailand. Last year hyungs sneaked into my radio broadcast and threw me a surprise party.  So regardless of what I’m gonna do this year, it’s gonna be a good time. If you could give yourself a birthday present, what would it be? Travel package (laugh)! With everything in it, from plane tickets to accommodation. Personally, what kind of shining moment do you want to make this year? If at the end of this year I look back and think ‘Ah, I’m proud’ it would be nice. I’ve been working hard until now, but from now on I want to always keep running without a break. If we were to add a new modifier in front of NCT 127 what would be good? To the World. It’s our slogan too (laugh).

Translation: Alex @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Grazia Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

The Right Place - Chapter Nineteen and Epilogue

For anyone who has been following this fic, you’ll know it was last updated in early October, 2018 and while my plans were to finish it at that time, it ended up being exactly one week before my mother passed away and I just couldn’t get myself into the right mindset to complete it.  Then, a couple of months ago, the @csmarchmadness idea came along to help give us writers a little boost of confidence to finish those nagging WIPs and I decided to go ahead and tackle this story. (I’m a little late getting it posted today, but technically, it is still 3/22 here in FL as I’m posting)

I’ve loved this concept from the beginning as it took Emma out of her magical comfort zone to solve a real world crime, working alongside law enforcement colleagues in Portland, Maine.  As I did with the opening chapters, I tacked the epilogue onto the end of this chapter to provide a fitting bookend.  

This is the last installment of a nearly 80K word fic so it has honestly been a beast to write, especially since it ended up taking far longer to complete than I’d planned.  You can read the entirety of this story on AO3 or FF.net or find the earlier chapters here: Prologue/Chap1  Chap2  Chap3  Chap4  Chap5  Chap6  Chap7  Chap8  Chap9  Chap10  Chap11  Chap12  Chap13  Chap14  Chap15  Chap16  Chap17  Chap18   I’m also tagging my cheerleader, @hookaroo who has been looking forward to the final chapter of this fic for a while now! (edited to add Tumblr link to Chap 18 after I realized it had never been posted on Tumblr.  Oops...)

Saturday Morning – Portland Harbor

The tempest of the overnight thunderstorms had given way to a breezy, warmer Saturday morning. Hazy sunlight filtered through the window coverings of the McCallen's guest room as Emma was awakened by the persistent blip of notifications popping up on her cell phone, all of them informing her of the incoming text messages from Regina. According to the texts, Ursula would be waiting for them at the same Harbor front park at 9am with some updated news regarding her offer to return the Jolly Roger to her berth in Storybrooke's marina. While Killian wasn't keen on anyone else taking the helm of his beloved ship, he'd conceded to the basic fact that at the present time, he lacked the physical stamina to sail her back home himself.

Emma would have preferred another hour of sleep since it this was far too early on a Saturday morning by her opinion, but since they did have the drive home ahead of them, she begrudgingly swung her feet over the side of the bed. It wasn't a particularly long trip, but she still needed to be wide awake and she didn't want to get back too late. After nearly a week away, she was certain there would be a mountain of backlogged work awaiting their return. She noticed that Killian had already vacated his side of the bed, waking up before his wife to wander into the kitchen where McCallen had left coffee brewing for them and a note stating that he had ventured out the station to finish his paperwork from yesterday's major breakthroughs in the case.

Killian seemed a tad more upbeat this morning and even seemed to handle the walk from the parking lot down to the waterfront better, only needing to pause once to catch his breath. The Sea Witch was already waiting for them, scouting out a quiet bench away from the multitude of park visitors who were enjoying the pleasant start to what was shaping up to be a beautiful day.

"You're late," Ursula grumbled in greeting. "I thought you seafaring types were known for better timing?"

"My seafaring timing is as precise as ever," Killian replied, voice tinged with a hint of offense. "However, you should be aware that in this realm there's a thing called traffic."

"We would have called to let you know we were running a little late if we'd had a way to contact you aside from a conch shell," Emma reminded the witch.

"Cell phones simply aren't the most reliable where I come from," Ursula countered with a grin that Emma wasn't sure was intended to be jovial or sinister. "Anyway, I've made all of the arrangements to transport your ship as promised. My niece will not be allowed to interfere with the vessel's passage."

"May I ask what arrangements you've made?" Killian queried. "Who did you find to sail her or is the transport to be more of a magical variety? I prefer not to have someone inexperienced at the helm."

"I managed to round up a few of your remaining crew, led by your former first mate, Mr. Smee. It'll primarily be for show though as once it reaches open waters, I can push your little boat along a bit easier…" Killian frowned at her use of the term little boat in reference to his ship, but held his tongue.

"So, my ship should be back in the harbor by the time we reach Storybrooke?" Killian chose to ask instead.

"Should be. Your crew is on their way here as we speak. I managed to find a fisherman who was willing to bring them down here to retrieve the Jolly Roger, although you may need to round up some of those gold doubloons you have stashed to pay the man for his service."

"How generous of you to offer up my funds as payment," he quipped sarcastically, although he was secretly grateful for all Ursula had done. She'd already rescued him from a watery grave so having her assistance in returning his beloved Jolly Roger to her home port was truly going above and beyond.

"I assume you have plenty of funds hidden, pirate," Ursula responded while flashing a broad grin. "Anyway, I need to get out of here before this park gets any busier so that I can supervise the return trip. See you in Storybrooke, Captain."

"Aye," Killian responded with a nod and a smile as the Sea Witch turned to depart, leaving him wondering exactly how much gold she'd promised his crew. But as she began to stroll towards the water's edge, Killian recalled one additional thing he wanted to ask her. "Ursula?" he called to her before she was out of earshot, grateful when she turned to face him again. "One last thing, if I may?"

"And that is?"

"Would you have my crew sail a pass through the inner channel? Not too close to the harbor, but around this side of the islands so that I might see her off?"

"I suppose I could do that," she replied as she took a few steps back towards the Joneses so she wouldn't have to shout. "I would have to uncloak the ship though."

"For a few minutes, revealing the vessel should be fine. This far from shore, she may appear as merely an illusion to anyone who may catch sight of her," he offered, eager to garner even a momentary glimpse of his ship nearly a week after he'd left her abandoned offshore.

"I'll see what I can do. You may want to hang around the harbor for a while though," the Sea Witch suggested.

"Any idea of approximately how long it'll take?" Emma questioned. "We do still have the drive back to Storybrooke ahead of us."

"Give me an hour," Ursula stated, not waiting for Killian to offer his thanks as she departed without another word.

As they watched the Sea Witch vanish behind a pier, Killian dropped his weary body onto the bench before he collapsed.

"Guess we have a little bit of time to kill before we hit the road then," Emma chuckled before noticing the forlorn cast to his gaze when he stared out over the bay. "I know you'd rather be sailing the Jolly Roger back home yourself…"

"It's alright, Swan," he said with a faint sigh of disappointment. "In my current condition, I'm well aware that I lack the necessary strength and stamina to properly man the helm. I'd much rather that she be safely returned to port, even if not by my hand." She could hear the disparaging tone of his voice and decided to think of something to distract him.

"Well, I really don't want to sit here on a cold, hard park bench for an hour while we wait for your ship to appear. Can we go grab a doughnut or something? And how do you intend to see the ship from across the bay anyway?"

"I believe you have a set of of spyglasses – I believe you call them binoculars? Aren't they somewhere in the vehicle?"

"Uh, yeah, there's a set of binoculars somewhere in the back seat."

"Then those should be sufficient," he replied. "I do have to agree with you though that sitting here for an hour is probably not the best option. I know we aren't far from the ferry terminal so perhaps we might pay a visit to the shopkeeper? I'd like to let her know personally that I'm alright if it isn't too far out of the way?"

"I'm pretty sure it's only a few blocks down the harbor from here. I think Ms. Scott would be very happy to see you. Think you can handle the walk or would you prefer we drive?"

"I'm feeling far better today, but I still believe it would be more prudent to drive."

"Okay, then let's get back up to the Bug and we'll go see if Ms. Scott has the shop back open."

Ten minutes later, after the short walk back to the parking lot and a four block drive through busy weekend harbor traffic headed for the marina and ferry terminal, Emma parked her little yellow Volkswagen beneath the old service station overhang. Although there were lights on inside Scott's Mart, the Closed sign still hung in the window, but Emma noticed that it was now accompanied by a notice that the shop would be reopening Monday morning. Emma exited the car and strolled up to the entrance door, rapping forcefully on the glass to garner the proprietor's attention while Killian ambled slowly behind her.

"We're not open yet!" a female voice shouted from inside.

"Ms. Scott, it's Sheriff Emma Jones. I was here with Deputy McCallen a few days ago…" They heard some rustling from beyond the door and something akin to metal scraping against tile before the smiling face of Jean Scott popped up from behind the register counter. The shopkeeper's face lit up even more when she caught sight of the man in the black leather jacket standing behind Emma.

"Sheriff! My apologies for being so curt. Come on in!" Jean immediately unlocked the door and yanked it open for her guests, a mix of elation and gratitude expressed through her welcoming grin. "You're always welcome around here. Sorry it's still such a mess but I'm trying hard to get things straightened up and ready to get back to business. I know I owe you both a huge thanks. I heard from the other police officer – not the one who was here with you but the other guy… His name escapes me now…"

"Sgt. Haviland?" Emma offered.

"Haviland, yeah that's his name! He called me to let me know I didn't have to worry about Donovan Donleavy coming after my property any longer. He said there's a warrant out for his arrest, as soon as they can locate the slimy son of a bitch."

"Yeah, unfortunately it looks like he might have been tipped off somehow and slipped away on his boat sometime last night after the Toliver brothers rolled on him for having hired them to intimidate you, not to mention the kidnapping and stabbing of my husband," Emma explained.

"Well, when they find him, I hope they lock him up and toss away that damned key!" Jean exclaimed before turning her head toward Killian with a softening demeanor. "And you – I'm so glad to get a chance to properly thank you. If I'd have had any idea what those bastards planned to do… I don't think there are enough words in the whole English language for me to express my thanks. You may have truly saved my life that morning and I'm still mortified to think that it nearly cost you yours. I knew Donleavy was scum, but I had no idea he'd actually stoop this low."

Emma though she detected a faint blush creeping across her husband's cheeks as Jean Scott thanked him, but he was trying hard not to let it show. "It was the right thing to do, Milady," Killian assured her. "Neither of us knew that their nefarious plans went so far beyond robbery. I certainly must have had some luck on my side that morning, but the important thing is that the guilty parties are being held accountable and won't be able to harm you any longer."

Jean's head lolled to the side as she caught Emma's attention with a cheeky grin. "Is he always like this?"

"Pretty much," Emma replied, sporting a broad smile of her own as she watched the tips of Killian's ears redden as he flushed with an uncharacteristic embarrassment.

"How do I find one like him?" Jean sighed. "I'd love to have my own little British knight in shining leather." Emma found her husband's blushing even more endearing as he tried to brush off the compliment, realizing it was part of why she loved this man so much. Sure, he could be a total ass sometimes, but when the sweet, old-fashioned, chivalrous side would surface, she'd fall head over heels in love all over again.

"I don't know if there's a clone of him out there somewhere, but if I find one, I'll send him your way," Emma laughed. "For now though, we've got to get going. Now that the case is solved, we're finally heading home."

"Well, please have a safe drive back to your hometown and remember that anytime you're here in Portland, please stop by. It'll be coffee on the house! In fact, if you'd like one for the road, I'm pretty sure the pot is still hot. I've gone through plenty myself while trying to get this place cleaned up but there's more than enough to share. Would you like some?"

"I would absolutely love some coffee," Emma replied graciously.

"As would I," Killian said with a smile.

"Hang on a sec…" Jean scurried down a partially stocked aisle to her coffee shop counter and disappeared behind it. She popped back up a few seconds later with two tall paper cups of steaming hot coffee. "Either of you take cream or sugar?"

"No thanks," Emma replied. "We both take it straight."

Jean made her way across the shop to hand over the coffee cups to her guests. "Here you go. Hope it's not too strong for you."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Killian replied as he accepted her offering. "This wasn't at all necessary, but thank you."

"Anytime," Jean insisted. "Any time at all. I won't keep you from your drive home but I really do appreciate you stopping by. I'm so glad to see that you're alright."

"Good luck with getting your business back on track," Emma said as she shook Jean's hand before departing. "Hopefully things will go better now that there isn't a greedy developer breathing down your neck."

"Oh, there will be another," Jean chuckled. "It never ends around here, but hey, I know I'm in the right place for now. I'll manage."

Emma and Killian said their farewells to Jean Scott and had just started their drive back to the park when Emma's phone started ringing. Seeing that it was McCallen calling, she gestured for Killian to answer and as he did, he pressed the speakerphone button so that they could both hear the conversation.

"Hey, McCallen," Emma answered. "Sorry we missed you this morning, but we locked up before we left."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," McCallen's voice responded through the speaker. "I had to run into the station this morning to finish up paperwork relating to this case and I was worried I might miss you before you headed home."

"Well, you haven't missed us. We haven't left Portland yet," Emma informed their friend. "Killian wanted to see Jean Scott so she could see he was alright and now we're on our way to the harbor front park so that he can see his ship off. The crew sailing it back to Storybrooke for us offered to make a swing through the bay."

"Alright then, can you hang around the park for a few minutes? I've got some new information you'll want to hear, but I don't want to deliver it over the phone."

"Oh, don't worry, we'll be there for a while. We still have about half an hour to kill before the crew sets sail," Emma explained.

"Oh, good," McCallen replied. "I can be there in about twenty minutes. I'd really like a chance to see that ship too."

"You'll see just how magnificent she is," Killian said proudly.

"If you can see it at all," Emma countered. "The ship is going to be clear on the other side of the bay and I have no idea whether or not my binoculars will be strong enough… You two can figure that out though…"

"Okay," McCallen chuckled. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

The stroll down to the waterfront from the parking area took a little longer this time but Killian had insisted on heading to the furthest pier where they would have the least obstructed view of the bay. There was still one barrier island that partially obscured the horizon, but Killian was certain that they would be able to see enough of the channel to get a decent glimpse of the Jolly Roger. He was quite certain of the route his crew would take and that it would provide a brief window as the ship emerged from the far side of the landmass, before she headed out of the bay and into open ocean.

A visibly exhausted Killian dropped his fatigued body onto an unoccupied bench near the end of the pier as Emma's phone buzzed with a message from McCallen asking where he might find them. She typed back their location and half-expected to see the young deputy arrive in full uniform. She found herself a more than a little surprised to see him approaching dressed in casual attire after he spotted them and waved from the boardwalk.

As McCallen got closer, Emma thought about how this inexperienced deputy had become such a pillar of strength for her this week. He'd been so involved from the beginning, eager to help her out in any way he could and always trying to learn techniques to help himself grow as an investigator. McCallen still had a lot to learn and of course, had some physical obstacles to overcome, but Emma couldn't help to think about what Jean Scott had said about being in the right place and how it applied to the deputy as well. What had begun for him as a seemingly routine case to identify a John Doe had blossomed into a multi-jurisdictional investigation of a corrupt land developer. While McCallen's role in the Donleavy case may have been minor, the deputy's name was forever attached to the investigation and it would likely make a huge impact on his career.

"Hi!" the deputy greeted them once he was finally within earshot. "I haven't missed anything, have I?"

"Not at all," Killian assured their young friend as he lowered the binoculars. "I've not yet caught sight of her but it shouldn't be long now."

"Don't worry," Emma added. "You'll know the moment he sees it. It's all he's talked about all morning."

"So, this is kind of a big deal, huh?" McCallen asked with a crooked grin, almost as a tease.

"She's been a huge part of my life," Killian replied. "In fact, she was my life for a very long time, before I met Emma." He failed to notice the way McCallen glanced at Emma with a look that seemed to ask Is he kidding?

"I think that what Killian meant to say is that he spent many years working on that ship before we met. He puts a lot of effort into keeping it ship-shape. But yes – sometimes I swear he treats that ship like a person…"

"It's a good thing she's not able to hear you speak such blasphemy," Killian feigned offense as his wife laughed it off.

"See - I share my husband with a ship," Emma chuckled, shaking her head. "Anyway, I know you didn't come down here just to talk about Killian's ship. You said on the phone that you had some new information to share with us? Is it news about Donleavy?"

"Well, yes and no…" McCallen began as he took a seat on the bench next to Killian. "We got a call this morning from the RCMP…"

"RCMP?" Killian interrupted with a confused query as he didn't understand the reference.

"Royal Canadian Mounted Police," the deputy clarified. "Sorry, I should have been more specific."

"It's alright," Emma insisted. "We usually just refer to them as the Mounties." She'd explain the reference further for Killian when they were alone.

"Oh, okay," McCallen continued. "As I started to say earlier, we, well, technically Sgt. Haviland received a call from the Mounties this morning letting him know that Donleavy's boat was located. Appears that it ran aground along the coast of Nova Scotia and by all accounts, was pretty beat up. Unfortunately, they found no sign of Donleavy. Haviland forwarded me a copy of the report. Guess he thought you'd already be back home if he didn't get in touch with you yet."

"I haven't looked at my email all morning," Emma confessed. "If he sent something there, I probably won't read it until we do get home – especially if it isn't giving us any whereabouts of Donleavy himself. At least we have an idea of where he escaped to."

"I do recall saying that he wouldn't get very far by sea," Killian reminded them. "The seas would have been far too rough for his minuscule craft. Even a sailor as experienced as myself wouldn't have fared well in that storm."

"Yeah, Donleavy was probably thrown overboard somewhere between here and Canada, before his ship crashed onshore," Emma suggested.

"There's still a remote chance he survived so the Canadians are going to continue their search to see if he turns up. They weren't entirely convinced that he'd survived either, but they're not giving up the search yet."

"Serves him right, if I do say so myself," Killian said with an eyebrow raised playfully. He lifted the binoculars to his eyes to survey the bay once again, scanning the horizon for a glimpse of the Jolly Roger. He stood as he caught sight of a set of familiar masts and sails materializing from beyond the inner harbor islands. "Ah, there she is!" he exclaimed with a huge grin stretching across his lips. "Such a thing of beauty…"

"Alright – you know I'm dying to get a look at this ship I've been hearing about. I mean, you've got the rings, the tattoos, the skull and crossbones pendant – there's definitely some kind of pirate obsession there so should I be expecting a pirate ship too?" Killian gave him a slightly nervous smile and Emma was practically biting her tongue as they both began mentally scrambling for a plausible explanation for the fact that Killian did indeed have have a pirate ship, and a marvel of one at that.

"Of course," Killian said as he offered the binoculars to the deputy and pointed to a distant location across the bay. "If you look out there to the northeast, you'll see her riggings just beyond that island." McCallen raised the binoculars and pointed himself in the direction Killian had indicated, his jaw dropping the moment he spied the tall ship on the horizon. He didn't know a lot about classical ships - he wouldn't have known a schooner from a frigate or a galleon, but this vessel looked like it could have sailed straight out of any pirate movie he'd ever seen.

"Wow! That's really your ship? It's definitely not what I expected, but seriously – you can sail that all by yourself?" Killian had to chuckle at the deputy's excited rambling.

"Indeed, I can," Killian replied proudly.

"That is so cool!" McCallen gushed, unable to contain himself. "What did you name your ship?"

"The J-…" Killian started to reply Jolly Roger, but something made him stop and reconsider, responding with the vessel's original moniker instead. "Jewel of the Realm."

"That's a really great name," McCallen told him as he passed the binoculars back to his pirate friend. "How did you ever come to own a ship like that?"

"Killian repairs and restores these old ships to keep them seaworthy," Emma jumped in with the most logical explanation she could determine. "And if you haven't noticed, he's a bit obsessive about his job."

"History deserves to be preserved," Killian stated, going along with Emma's lead. "And what can I say – I immerse myself fully into my work."

"Well, by the looks of it, you're very skilled at what you do! How do you manage to find the time as a deputy?"

"Don't have as much time as I used to so sailing has become more of a hobby now, but if you're ever in Storybrooke, I'd be honored to give you the full tour and a run about the harbor."

"I just might take you up on that one day, but since I have a tendency to get seasick, just admiring her from the dock would probably be enough for me," the deputy admitted with an embarrassed chortle.

"Well, my friend, if you ever want to try for your sea legs, my offer shall stand," Killian laughed as he raised the binoculars one last time to see if the ship was still visible but it appeared as though Ursula had already reactivated the cloaking. "Appears as though she has sailed beyond our purview."

"Oh, sorry… I'm guessing you're hoping to get back home around the same time as the ship?" McCallen wondered, not wanting to impede their plans.

"Yeah, that's sort of the plan," Emma stated as she glanced at her watch. "We definitely should get on the road soon, but Aaron, we really want to thank you for everything – for your help with the investigation into what happened to Killian... for opening your home to us. You've done so much more than you ever needed to."

McCallen's cheeks flushed as he tried to figure out how to respond to her gratitude. "Honestly, not many people have put as much faith in me as you did. I'm grateful to you for including me when you could have brushed me off in favor of letting Sgt. Haviland take over. I'm glad you didn't."

"You've got the instinct," Emma assured him. "You're going to be a great investigator."

"I guess we'll have to see how far a man with an artificial foot can get," McCallen said sullenly.

"As far as a man with an artificial hand can get," Killian insisted. "And that's as far as you desire."

Epilogue

Saturday Afternoon – Storybrooke

It hadn't taken Killian more than a few seconds after they'd exited the interstate before the gloved, wooden hand was discarded to the back seat in favor of his preferred attachment. Captain Hook was back and on his way home. By the time they passed the Welcome to Storybrooke sign at the edge of town, he was certain he could already smell the marine air again and began to imagine the sound of crisp sails flapping in the wind.

They finally parked in front of the Sheriff station nearly two hours after they'd left the Portland harbor and Emma was eager to find some lunch to appease her growling stomach. Maybe as anxious for food as her husband was to get to the harbor.

"Are you really sure you don't want me to heal you?" she asked as they climbed out of the Bug.

"For the last time, Love, I'll be fine. Aside from a few aches and pains – and a bit of general tiredness, I'm honestly alright. I assure you, if I change my mind, I promise, I will let you know."

"Okay, okay… I'm gonna call the family and see if they want to meet over at Granny's for lunch. I'm sure they'll all be looking forward to seeing you."

"Sounds good, but allow me a few minutes first?" he implored.

"I know – you're heading down to the harbor. Want me to drive you over?"

Killian smiled and shook his head with a subtle No. "I think I'd like to walk."

"Alright. If you aren't back in thirty minutes, I'll come looking for you."

The quarter-mile stroll from the Sheriff station to the dock was normally a brisk, five-minute walk for him, but today, it took a few minutes longer and he was clutching his chest tightly as he reached the gangplank. He pressed on with stubborn determination, pushing himself up the ramp and onto the deck of his ship. Reaching the helm, he leaned his aching body into the wheel to catch his breath, fully aware that he was not alone.

"Returned, safe and sound, as promised," he heard Ursula's voice call out from below the quarterdeck.

"Aye, thank you for your assistance. I do appreciate all you've done for me."

"You are one lucky pirate. Although I suggest you try to stay away from sharp, pointy objects for a while. One of these days, your luck will run out…"

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Killian said with a half-hearted chuckle. "Am I also to thank you for last night's events?"

"Afraid I've no idea what you mean," Ursula replied with a feigned innocence.

"Of course not," he grinned, lifting a knowing eyebrow at the Sea Witch. "Pardon my error, Love. Guess I should make my way over to Granny's pretty soon. Emma will send out a search party if I don't make it back. Why don't you join us?"

"As pleasant as an afternoon eating greasy diner food with the Charming family sounds, I'm afraid I'll have to pass. But as for you, I'm serious – watch your back, pirate. One of these days, you'll find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time and there won't be anybody around to save you."

He opened his mouth to reply, but she was already gone, leaving the words caught in the back of his throat. As much as he wanted to argue, Ursula was right. He belonged at Emma's side and that was honestly the only place he wanted to be.

Early Saturday morning – off the coast of Nova Scotia

It was late in the season for such a powerful Nor'easter and perhaps it was a foolhardy decision to be venturing out in such horrific weather but Donovan Donleavy preferred to take his chances upon the stormy seas rather than face the tempest that would be brewing at home if he hadn't run. He'd slipped out of the marina under cover of darkness before the authorities had descended. His sport fishing boat wasn't really designed for these conditions so he'd tried to remain as close to the coast as he could, but the howling winds and torrential rain kept blowing his battered craft further out to sea.

He was only a few miles off of the Canadian coast, estimating his position to be somewhere near the Province of Nova Scotia, but he was beginning to doubt he'd be able to reach a safe harbor. Rain lashed at the deck, making visibility near impossible as the ten to twelve foot swells pummeled the tiny boat. Donleavy clung to the wheel as long as he could until a towering, fifteen foot swell sent the vessel listing hard to starboard and it never recovered, capsizing in the cold waters of the North Atlantic.

He bobbed to the surface, struggling to keep his head above the waves as his arms flailed in futile attempt to grasp for anything that would keep him afloat. After a few minutes, he found his muscles tiring rapidly and he knew he wouldn't be able to tread water much longer. Of course, he still believed that drowning was far more dignified than the humiliation of watching his empire fall apart.

He was gradually giving in to the reality of a watery death when he felt something brush against his leg. Probably just a fish or a piece of debris from his boat he thought – until the offending object slithered its way up body and wrapped around his torso. While moments ago he'd conceded himself to drowning, suddenly Donleavy was in a panic as he recognized that he was being enveloped by a giant tentacle. He struggled only for a few moments, trying futilely to free himself as the tentacle constricted tighter - just before yanking him forcefully beneath the unforgiving waves.

Watching Doctor Who Season 37 (Series 11), Episode One

I’ve been reluctant to talk about the newest season of Doctor Who publicly, despite being a fan for years, having run a Doctor Who blog at one time and now slowly integrating that fandom onto the main blog I use these days. It’s not because there was a point where I stopped being a fan, even though my interest isn’t always at its peak. No, it boils down to another reason.

I am one of those fans who was wary/skeptical about having a female Doctor.

This isn’t the most popular fandom opinion out there and to some extent, I can understand why. Far too many “fans” (and I use that term with reluctance) used the announcement of Jodie Whittaker’s casting to spew all sorts of horrible, sexist (if not downright misogynist) opinions along with expressing disdain for “progressive” people/ideas in general. It was an ugly display of the worst in fandom politics.

Sadly, these people seemed to become the “face” of fans who weren’t enthusiastic about a female Doctor and hey, who wants to be associated with jerks like that? I certainly didn’t. And I certainly didn’t feel like having to explain my own reasoning over and over again at best or at worst dealing with drama and arguments just because I have this view. 

So, I just...avoided the new season and any fandom things related to it. Didn’t watch the episodes. Didn’t check out one iota about the new season on social media. Didn’t read any issues of Doctor Who Magazine that could give away potential spoilers or details about the newest season. I remained blissfully unaware of the most current episodes of Doctor Who Heck, I didn’t even know the names of the new companions or any of the episodes. It wasn’t easy, but looking back on it, I’m glad I made that choice.

However.....

I still consider myself a Doctor Who fan. Having a female Doctor, while not my ideal choice, wasn’t going to invalidate all the years I spent watching both Classic and New Who, all the hours I listened to Big Finish audios or all the time spent reading comics/published spinoff novels and fic. Also, this isn’t the first time I haven’t agreed with a casting or story choice, although if there’s one constant to Doctor Who it’s that it’s always changing. 

So I’m always aware that, if you totally love something on the show or don’t care for it at all, it doesn’t really matter. Because it won’t be forever anyway. 

Although that said, none of my concern for this new season was due to the casting of Whittaker in particular mainly because I haven’t seen her in anything and can’t really comment on her abilities as an actress. That’s actually the same boat I was in for just about every other Doctor before I saw them on the series (with the exception of Patrick Troughton who I had seen in a couple of movies before seeing him as the Doctor). 

No, my concerns were totally focused on how the change to a female Doctor would be handled by the writers and directors of the show. It seemed like something that could become cringey and regrettable so easily if handled badly.

Still, I knew deep down that I would eventually want to watch the newest season anyway. However, I surprised myself when I realized all the ways I kept putting it off and I kept wondering why I was so reluctant to finally watch the new season.

Eventually, I think I understood why: because the reasons why I never wanted this development were still nagging at me. Would a female Doctor be treated more like a gimmick the same way the concept had been in EU media for years? Would we get vaguely sexist and/or transphobic jokes about how she had been a man before and “hurr hurr, she do lady things now”? Would the show start to head in a direction I dreaded, such as making it more about soapy romance drama rather than friends having adventures in time and space?

Putting aside my own fandom preferences isn’t always easy, but today I finally decided to say “heck with it” and take the plunge. 

This post is the first of a series where I’m going to reflect on my first impressions each episode of the season as I watch it and see if and how my opinions about these changes evolves.

So let’s get started with....

The Woman Who Fell To Earth (nice Bowie reference, by the way....)

Spoilers aplenty under this cut....

Episode thoughts

If you’re going to start a new era of Doctor who, you’re probably best off starting it with a story with plenty of action and emotional intensity. 

On that count, this opening episode fulfills this mission well. It starts out nicely by giving the audience a mini-mystery about these aliens and their intentions that unfolds at the same time that it does for the main characters. It only seems a little disjointed at first, but in classic Doctor Who style, the pieces come together quickly and even manage to give us a surprise or two at the end, such as how the Doctor can still maneuver things around to her advantage without us even realizing it. I even liked the framing device of Ryan talking about this amazing woman she knew and the twist that it wasn’t the Doctor....

Although....I honestly just knew that Grace was going to die long before the episode ended. The foreshadowing was just a bit thick although, I can forgive it though, because it’s still less heavy handed than I’ve seen elsewhere.

The pacing was great too, giving us the right mix of peril and action and quieter moments where we get to know these new companions and they, in turn, are getting to know this new Doctor (once again, in tandem with the audience which I like).

If I had one complaint, it’s that the alien threat was a bit too pat. A Predator-type villain that we’ve all seen before and didn’t really have anything new to offer here. Maybe if we had learned more about his race and society it would have come off more interesting. As it is...he’s the blue guy who hunts those “inferior races” and who also has his teeth fetish.....

I almost had a complaint about the episode continuing on after the resolution of the main story, but after thinking some more about it...no, I actually like that they took the extra time to show us more of these people’s lives and who the Doctor has become. It’s too easy to stick to the “fix problem and then *boom* goodbye” way of ending a Doctor Who episode, so kudos for taking a break from that format.

And I really was not expecting that sort of ending for the episode. So I guess we’re back to the Doctor accidentally kidnapping people then. XD And that was a solid cliffhanger at the end. I just hope they actually take the time to give it a satisfying resolution. 

Character thoughts

This is where I think the true meat of the episode was and rightly so as it’s a whole new TARDIS team.

I like these new companions. I like that they aren’t complete strangers to each other while also probably having huge gaps in how well they truly know each other. I also like that this is going to be a diverse set of people who have differences in age, gender, ethnicity and life experiences. 

What I also like is that these feel like actual people rather than ideas. Graham clearly is skeptical and critical, but also has good ideas and wants to help out. Ryan has a huge chip on his shoulder, but keeps on trying. Yasmin seems to get frustrated when things fly out of her control, but she adapts quickly to new situations. 

In other words, we’re given glimpses into how these people are flawed and yet good potential companions for a new Doctor trying to find herself.

And speaking of a new Doctor....

I really had no idea what to expect with Whittaker’s take on the role and thus, I knew whatever I got would be a surprise. My only hope was that it wouldn’t be something that would make me roll my eyes. Thankfully, the former turned out to be true and the latter turned out to be something I didn’t need to worry about.

With every new Doctor I watched while going through the series, there was this sort of “waiting” during their first episode/storyline. A holding period while I looked for a moment where the latest Doctor went from “ok, this is different” to “ok, this is the Doctor” for me. That scene where they just clicked into the role and made that incarnation their own.

That moment came for me while she was tinkering about trying to explain what regeneration was like. Some Doctors are more blase about it than others, but here, I think we got a look at Thirteen’s mindset with the honest, earnest way she talked about it....with the fun moment of eccentric levity at the end. 

It is different as far as the energy and personality....and yet, I was so comforted by how Doctor-y it felt to me. That and the moment where she managed to make a sonic screwdriver out of stuff she found around a guy’s shop space....

By the end of it, I was finally able to let go of the tense feeling of worrying if this would work out to being intrigued with what Thirteen would do next. I was even laughing (in that friendly way you do with characters you like) at the quirks that she appears to be cultivating for this incarnation. 

The Last Word

Overall, a solid, intriguing way to start this season. The writers have some interesting characters to work with and it looks like they are going to have the episodes have some connection to each other. Both of which have plenty of promise depending on how they are handled. 

Most of all though, I am happy to say that I’m looking forward to seeing more. And that is the outcome I was dearly hoping for. 

TGIWednesday and support for mental focus on work/job/career

TGIWednesday News

Well well well, mental health awareness for the whole month?  Yep and after all we’ve been through with financial ups and downs, a pandemic with a hot side of greasy politics - we’re going to need this month just to get back to smooth!  There is an old Janet Jackson song entitled, “What have you done for me lately?” and I would rephrase that to, “What have you done for YOU lately?  Long walk on the beach?  Massage? Planning a margarita for May 5th?  Let’s at least consider pampering you for a change.  I am proclaiming as you read this now, “I am open to receive better treatment for myself, I realize I deserve it and I am most worthy of it! So stay tuned as we delve into mental health awareness this whole month including our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING MENTAL HEALTH ~ I believe, think, know and feel that my mental health is clearing now. I am ready, willing and able to make subtle long term changes to improve my mental balance.  I know, when here how and why to accept help and contributions from others thereby promoting mental inner peace. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

FREE Live Show Appearances

YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW NEXT THURSDAY  MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! >>> Sign Up Here!  New Season Happening Now! It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. So prepare to join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Stay tuned to this section for more details and links, in the meantime, check out our library of offerings from a long list of past Zoom events by clicking here. It's all SO worth it each month when we get emails like this one: "Hi Jimmy & team, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this recent Family healing zoom/audio. I have noticed powerful healing within, especially my emotional & mental bodies maturing. I had previously worked on my inner self so much that I thought I was healed, but this audio showed me it was buried deep & now healing rapidly. Many thanks." - Caroline D.

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy I am grateful for being divinely guided to connect with you. I love the simplicity yet powerful effects of the fish symbol that you received from divine. When I saw you on the Practical Magic Season 2 interview I was very interested in the healings you do as it was from divine. That particular night I saw the fish symbol on my kitchen bench as I was cleaning up so I felt divinely guided to work with you. I am in the process of working through many of your wonderful YouTube meditations & most grateful for these. I have been working on my inner self for a while now & still waiting for my money to change for the better. So unable to purchase any sessions just yet." - Caroline /Australia

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 5th "Today I will recognize the stillness, comfort, grace and ease in that which is unusual. I will remember that we are a part of the one; that all people, places and things are blended into one and I will endure."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

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TGIWednesday News

Nothing feels more like stress than trading your time for money (unless it’s a lot of money!)  If you’re doing great and making great money - then good for you!  If you’re underemployed or unemployed, I am saying prayers that money in all forms finds you as you read this now.  Your mental health is so vastly important, that it cannot be overlooked.  Are you eating clean?  Drinking over 50 oz of quality H2O each day? (think of Adam Sandler in the movie "The Water Boy" carrying that huge bucket of water) How about exercise?  Hopefully Yoga, Thai Chi, Qi Gong and any other class that gets you moving!  All of these have great impacts on your whole being especially your mental focus and can make a difference in how you handle work/job/career stress, kids, significant others, and bad or good fortune!.  Treat yourself like you would a best friend and you won’t just survive through the latest pandemic/economic issue or political foible, you can and will thrive.  Remember as I like to say, “make the rest of your life. the best of your life and make progress every day!” As we are delving into mental health awareness this whole month that includes our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ MENTAL STRESS & FOCUS~ I believe, think, know and feel that as I release the stress from my work/job/career, I reinvigorate mental focus. I know, when, where, how and why to treat myself like I would a friend and in so doing my mind sharpens. I am ready, willing and able to be fully present in the moment and when I am working, I am all in and the same goes for family, exercise and play!  I am asking for all of this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.    

FREE Live Show Appearances

TOMORROW MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW Topic: Magical Mystical Atlantean Technology: Energetic Support to Discover Your Destiny It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

Free to Sign Up Here

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. In this call we will release any and all blocks preventing you from having sound mental health.  We have all suffered chaos, drama, upsets in childhood, relationships and abuse in many forms our whole lives and there is no time like the present to release these and download and shift switches for mental stability, balanced moods, brain chemistry, motivation enough to get the F@#%$^ off the couch!  And the clarity to release any and all obsessions like the sky falling, the pandemic, political and religious judgement that’s keeping us stuck and circular.  Now is the time to release the negative and download more positive and together by us being on a 30 minute call we can actually improve the next phase of our lives!!! Join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Register Here for $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/may-switches-event Includes live call access & replay.

REGISTRATION INSTRUCTIONS:  Click on the date circled in BLUE. Look for the event time shown in YOUR time zone. SELECT THAT TIME & then click on the BLUE CONFIRM BUTTON then follow through & complete your payment. 

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Last week’s clearing work on ‘family’ was exceptionally deep and powerful. The group felt like familiar souls coming together in a spirit of oneness to work on  deep wounds of family and ancestral patterns.  I’ve come to trust the content of the group’s introspective and insightful requests. It takes the pressure off covering all my bases for my own requests. It’s now a week later. I can feel the healing still in process and have a feeling this will continue, possibly until all these lifelong and past-life wounds are intrinsically healed. Immeasurable appreciation, gratitude, and love to Jimmy and team, and all of us participating in these monthly Wednesday healings." - Diane Linn

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  NEXT FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 12th "Today I will remember that there can be a spider web effect on everything as I work on myself, my family, friends and peers can experience the profound. I will endeavor to be the best that I can working and making progress on myself so that I may be of a greater service to others."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

TGIWednesday and support for mental focus on work/job/career

TGIWednesday News

Well well well, mental health awareness for the whole month?  Yep and after all we’ve been through with financial ups and downs, a pandemic with a hot side of greasy politics - we’re going to need this month just to get back to smooth!  There is an old Janet Jackson song entitled, “What have you done for me lately?” and I would rephrase that to, “What have you done for YOU lately?  Long walk on the beach?  Massage? Planning a margarita for May 5th?  Let’s at least consider pampering you for a change.  I am proclaiming as you read this now, “I am open to receive better treatment for myself, I realize I deserve it and I am most worthy of it! So stay tuned as we delve into mental health awareness this whole month including our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING MENTAL HEALTH ~ I believe, think, know and feel that my mental health is clearing now. I am ready, willing and able to make subtle long term changes to improve my mental balance.  I know, when here how and why to accept help and contributions from others thereby promoting mental inner peace. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

FREE Live Show Appearances

YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW NEXT THURSDAY  MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! >>> Sign Up Here!  New Season Happening Now! It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. So prepare to join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Stay tuned to this section for more details and links, in the meantime, check out our library of offerings from a long list of past Zoom events by clicking here. It's all SO worth it each month when we get emails like this one: "Hi Jimmy & team, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this recent Family healing zoom/audio. I have noticed powerful healing within, especially my emotional & mental bodies maturing. I had previously worked on my inner self so much that I thought I was healed, but this audio showed me it was buried deep & now healing rapidly. Many thanks." - Caroline D.

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy I am grateful for being divinely guided to connect with you. I love the simplicity yet powerful effects of the fish symbol that you received from divine. When I saw you on the Practical Magic Season 2 interview I was very interested in the healings you do as it was from divine. That particular night I saw the fish symbol on my kitchen bench as I was cleaning up so I felt divinely guided to work with you. I am in the process of working through many of your wonderful YouTube meditations & most grateful for these. I have been working on my inner self for a while now & still waiting for my money to change for the better. So unable to purchase any sessions just yet." - Caroline /Australia

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 5th "Today I will recognize the stillness, comfort, grace and ease in that which is unusual. I will remember that we are a part of the one; that all people, places and things are blended into one and I will endure."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

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Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is:

TGIWednesday News

Nothing feels more like stress than trading your time for money (unless it’s a lot of money!)  If you’re doing great and making great money - then good for you!  If you’re underemployed or unemployed, I am saying prayers that money in all forms finds you as you read this now.  Your mental health is so vastly important, that it cannot be overlooked.  Are you eating clean?  Drinking over 50 oz of quality H2O each day? (think of Adam Sandler in the movie "The Water Boy" carrying that huge bucket of water) How about exercise?  Hopefully Yoga, Thai Chi, Qi Gong and any other class that gets you moving!  All of these have great impacts on your whole being especially your mental focus and can make a difference in how you handle work/job/career stress, kids, significant others, and bad or good fortune!.  Treat yourself like you would a best friend and you won’t just survive through the latest pandemic/economic issue or political foible, you can and will thrive.  Remember as I like to say, “make the rest of your life. the best of your life and make progress every day!” As we are delving into mental health awareness this whole month that includes our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ MENTAL STRESS & FOCUS~ I believe, think, know and feel that as I release the stress from my work/job/career, I reinvigorate mental focus. I know, when, where, how and why to treat myself like I would a friend and in so doing my mind sharpens. I am ready, willing and able to be fully present in the moment and when I am working, I am all in and the same goes for family, exercise and play!  I am asking for all of this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.    

FREE Live Show Appearances

TOMORROW MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW Topic: Magical Mystical Atlantean Technology: Energetic Support to Discover Your Destiny It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

Free to Sign Up Here

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. In this call we will release any and all blocks preventing you from having sound mental health.  We have all suffered chaos, drama, upsets in childhood, relationships and abuse in many forms our whole lives and there is no time like the present to release these and download and shift switches for mental stability, balanced moods, brain chemistry, motivation enough to get the F@#%$^ off the couch!  And the clarity to release any and all obsessions like the sky falling, the pandemic, political and religious judgement that’s keeping us stuck and circular.  Now is the time to release the negative and download more positive and together by us being on a 30 minute call we can actually improve the next phase of our lives!!! Join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Register Here for $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/may-switches-event Includes live call access & replay.

REGISTRATION INSTRUCTIONS:  Click on the date circled in BLUE. Look for the event time shown in YOUR time zone. SELECT THAT TIME & then click on the BLUE CONFIRM BUTTON then follow through & complete your payment. 

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Last week’s clearing work on ‘family’ was exceptionally deep and powerful. The group felt like familiar souls coming together in a spirit of oneness to work on  deep wounds of family and ancestral patterns.  I’ve come to trust the content of the group’s introspective and insightful requests. It takes the pressure off covering all my bases for my own requests. It’s now a week later. I can feel the healing still in process and have a feeling this will continue, possibly until all these lifelong and past-life wounds are intrinsically healed. Immeasurable appreciation, gratitude, and love to Jimmy and team, and all of us participating in these monthly Wednesday healings." - Diane Linn

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  NEXT FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 12th "Today I will remember that there can be a spider web effect on everything as I work on myself, my family, friends and peers can experience the profound. I will endeavor to be the best that I can working and making progress on myself so that I may be of a greater service to others."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

TGIWednesday and support for mental focus on work/job/career

TGIWednesday News

Well well well, mental health awareness for the whole month?  Yep and after all we’ve been through with financial ups and downs, a pandemic with a hot side of greasy politics - we’re going to need this month just to get back to smooth!  There is an old Janet Jackson song entitled, “What have you done for me lately?” and I would rephrase that to, “What have you done for YOU lately?  Long walk on the beach?  Massage? Planning a margarita for May 5th?  Let’s at least consider pampering you for a change.  I am proclaiming as you read this now, “I am open to receive better treatment for myself, I realize I deserve it and I am most worthy of it! So stay tuned as we delve into mental health awareness this whole month including our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING MENTAL HEALTH ~ I believe, think, know and feel that my mental health is clearing now. I am ready, willing and able to make subtle long term changes to improve my mental balance.  I know, when here how and why to accept help and contributions from others thereby promoting mental inner peace. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

FREE Live Show Appearances

YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW NEXT THURSDAY  MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! >>> Sign Up Here!  New Season Happening Now! It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. So prepare to join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Stay tuned to this section for more details and links, in the meantime, check out our library of offerings from a long list of past Zoom events by clicking here. It's all SO worth it each month when we get emails like this one: "Hi Jimmy & team, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this recent Family healing zoom/audio. I have noticed powerful healing within, especially my emotional & mental bodies maturing. I had previously worked on my inner self so much that I thought I was healed, but this audio showed me it was buried deep & now healing rapidly. Many thanks." - Caroline D.

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy I am grateful for being divinely guided to connect with you. I love the simplicity yet powerful effects of the fish symbol that you received from divine. When I saw you on the Practical Magic Season 2 interview I was very interested in the healings you do as it was from divine. That particular night I saw the fish symbol on my kitchen bench as I was cleaning up so I felt divinely guided to work with you. I am in the process of working through many of your wonderful YouTube meditations & most grateful for these. I have been working on my inner self for a while now & still waiting for my money to change for the better. So unable to purchase any sessions just yet." - Caroline /Australia

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 5th "Today I will recognize the stillness, comfort, grace and ease in that which is unusual. I will remember that we are a part of the one; that all people, places and things are blended into one and I will endure."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is:

TGIWednesday News

Nothing feels more like stress than trading your time for money (unless it’s a lot of money!)  If you’re doing great and making great money - then good for you!  If you’re underemployed or unemployed, I am saying prayers that money in all forms finds you as you read this now.  Your mental health is so vastly important, that it cannot be overlooked.  Are you eating clean?  Drinking over 50 oz of quality H2O each day? (think of Adam Sandler in the movie "The Water Boy" carrying that huge bucket of water) How about exercise?  Hopefully Yoga, Thai Chi, Qi Gong and any other class that gets you moving!  All of these have great impacts on your whole being especially your mental focus and can make a difference in how you handle work/job/career stress, kids, significant others, and bad or good fortune!.  Treat yourself like you would a best friend and you won’t just survive through the latest pandemic/economic issue or political foible, you can and will thrive.  Remember as I like to say, “make the rest of your life. the best of your life and make progress every day!” As we are delving into mental health awareness this whole month that includes our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ MENTAL STRESS & FOCUS~ I believe, think, know and feel that as I release the stress from my work/job/career, I reinvigorate mental focus. I know, when, where, how and why to treat myself like I would a friend and in so doing my mind sharpens. I am ready, willing and able to be fully present in the moment and when I am working, I am all in and the same goes for family, exercise and play!  I am asking for all of this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.    

FREE Live Show Appearances

TOMORROW MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW Topic: Magical Mystical Atlantean Technology: Energetic Support to Discover Your Destiny It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

Free to Sign Up Here

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. In this call we will release any and all blocks preventing you from having sound mental health.  We have all suffered chaos, drama, upsets in childhood, relationships and abuse in many forms our whole lives and there is no time like the present to release these and download and shift switches for mental stability, balanced moods, brain chemistry, motivation enough to get the F@#%$^ off the couch!  And the clarity to release any and all obsessions like the sky falling, the pandemic, political and religious judgement that’s keeping us stuck and circular.  Now is the time to release the negative and download more positive and together by us being on a 30 minute call we can actually improve the next phase of our lives!!! Join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Register Here for $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/may-switches-event Includes live call access & replay.

REGISTRATION INSTRUCTIONS:  Click on the date circled in BLUE. Look for the event time shown in YOUR time zone. SELECT THAT TIME & then click on the BLUE CONFIRM BUTTON then follow through & complete your payment. 

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Last week’s clearing work on ‘family’ was exceptionally deep and powerful. The group felt like familiar souls coming together in a spirit of oneness to work on  deep wounds of family and ancestral patterns.  I’ve come to trust the content of the group’s introspective and insightful requests. It takes the pressure off covering all my bases for my own requests. It’s now a week later. I can feel the healing still in process and have a feeling this will continue, possibly until all these lifelong and past-life wounds are intrinsically healed. Immeasurable appreciation, gratitude, and love to Jimmy and team, and all of us participating in these monthly Wednesday healings." - Diane Linn

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  NEXT FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 12th "Today I will remember that there can be a spider web effect on everything as I work on myself, my family, friends and peers can experience the profound. I will endeavor to be the best that I can working and making progress on myself so that I may be of a greater service to others."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

TGIWednesday and support for mental focus on work/job/career

TGIWednesday News

Well well well, mental health awareness for the whole month?  Yep and after all we’ve been through with financial ups and downs, a pandemic with a hot side of greasy politics - we’re going to need this month just to get back to smooth!  There is an old Janet Jackson song entitled, “What have you done for me lately?” and I would rephrase that to, “What have you done for YOU lately?  Long walk on the beach?  Massage? Planning a margarita for May 5th?  Let’s at least consider pampering you for a change.  I am proclaiming as you read this now, “I am open to receive better treatment for myself, I realize I deserve it and I am most worthy of it! So stay tuned as we delve into mental health awareness this whole month including our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING MENTAL HEALTH ~ I believe, think, know and feel that my mental health is clearing now. I am ready, willing and able to make subtle long term changes to improve my mental balance.  I know, when here how and why to accept help and contributions from others thereby promoting mental inner peace. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

FREE Live Show Appearances

YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW NEXT THURSDAY  MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! >>> Sign Up Here!  New Season Happening Now! It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. So prepare to join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Stay tuned to this section for more details and links, in the meantime, check out our library of offerings from a long list of past Zoom events by clicking here. It's all SO worth it each month when we get emails like this one: "Hi Jimmy & team, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this recent Family healing zoom/audio. I have noticed powerful healing within, especially my emotional & mental bodies maturing. I had previously worked on my inner self so much that I thought I was healed, but this audio showed me it was buried deep & now healing rapidly. Many thanks." - Caroline D.

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy I am grateful for being divinely guided to connect with you. I love the simplicity yet powerful effects of the fish symbol that you received from divine. When I saw you on the Practical Magic Season 2 interview I was very interested in the healings you do as it was from divine. That particular night I saw the fish symbol on my kitchen bench as I was cleaning up so I felt divinely guided to work with you. I am in the process of working through many of your wonderful YouTube meditations & most grateful for these. I have been working on my inner self for a while now & still waiting for my money to change for the better. So unable to purchase any sessions just yet." - Caroline /Australia

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 5th "Today I will recognize the stillness, comfort, grace and ease in that which is unusual. I will remember that we are a part of the one; that all people, places and things are blended into one and I will endure."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

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Tweet

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is:

TGIWednesday News

Nothing feels more like stress than trading your time for money (unless it’s a lot of money!)  If you’re doing great and making great money - then good for you!  If you’re underemployed or unemployed, I am saying prayers that money in all forms finds you as you read this now.  Your mental health is so vastly important, that it cannot be overlooked.  Are you eating clean?  Drinking over 50 oz of quality H2O each day? (think of Adam Sandler in the movie "The Water Boy" carrying that huge bucket of water) How about exercise?  Hopefully Yoga, Thai Chi, Qi Gong and any other class that gets you moving!  All of these have great impacts on your whole being especially your mental focus and can make a difference in how you handle work/job/career stress, kids, significant others, and bad or good fortune!.  Treat yourself like you would a best friend and you won’t just survive through the latest pandemic/economic issue or political foible, you can and will thrive.  Remember as I like to say, “make the rest of your life. the best of your life and make progress every day!” As we are delving into mental health awareness this whole month that includes our live Zoom event the last Wednesday May 26th and we're also highlighting 20% off the MyBeliefWorks for Healing Mental and Emotional Stressors MP3/PDF.

TGIWednesday Download

~ MENTAL STRESS & FOCUS~ I believe, think, know and feel that as I release the stress from my work/job/career, I reinvigorate mental focus. I know, when, where, how and why to treat myself like I would a friend and in so doing my mind sharpens. I am ready, willing and able to be fully present in the moment and when I am working, I am all in and the same goes for family, exercise and play!  I am asking for all of this in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.    

FREE Live Show Appearances

TOMORROW MAY 13th at 4pm ET/1pm PT Taking LIVE callers! YOU WEALTH REVOLUTION hosted by Darius Barazandeh New Energy, New You™! LIVE INTERVIEW Topic: Magical Mystical Atlantean Technology: Energetic Support to Discover Your Destiny It's the biggest energy healing event of the year - best of all it’s FREE from your home!

FREE TO REGISTER and Grab Your Gift ($67 Value)  The incredible new Soul Spa 2.0™ and 741 Hz download which works to cleanse your aura and release toxic stress, worry and old anchors.

Free to Sign Up Here

As you know by now, I will not be returning to our weekly Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show in 2021. We will of course be guest or co-hosting on other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as a variety of future show line ups will be posted! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May MySwitchWorks Zoom Event

This month’s Zoom event will be all about Mental Health. In this call we will release any and all blocks preventing you from having sound mental health.  We have all suffered chaos, drama, upsets in childhood, relationships and abuse in many forms our whole lives and there is no time like the present to release these and download and shift switches for mental stability, balanced moods, brain chemistry, motivation enough to get the F@#%$^ off the couch!  And the clarity to release any and all obsessions like the sky falling, the pandemic, political and religious judgement that’s keeping us stuck and circular.  Now is the time to release the negative and download more positive and together by us being on a 30 minute call we can actually improve the next phase of our lives!!! Join us on Wednesday May 26th at 7:30pm ET Register Here for $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/may-switches-event Includes live call access & replay.

REGISTRATION INSTRUCTIONS:  Click on the date circled in BLUE. Look for the event time shown in YOUR time zone. SELECT THAT TIME & then click on the BLUE CONFIRM BUTTON then follow through & complete your payment. 

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Last week’s clearing work on ‘family’ was exceptionally deep and powerful. The group felt like familiar souls coming together in a spirit of oneness to work on  deep wounds of family and ancestral patterns.  I’ve come to trust the content of the group’s introspective and insightful requests. It takes the pressure off covering all my bases for my own requests. It’s now a week later. I can feel the healing still in process and have a feeling this will continue, possibly until all these lifelong and past-life wounds are intrinsically healed. Immeasurable appreciation, gratitude, and love to Jimmy and team, and all of us participating in these monthly Wednesday healings." - Diane Linn

Book A Session in Tampa

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions  The next opportunity to see Jimmy at Charla's Tampa office is:  NEXT FRIDAY MAY 21st from 10-4pm NOTE: previous April date was rescheduled and moved to May

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack MAY 12th "Today I will remember that there can be a spider web effect on everything as I work on myself, my family, friends and peers can experience the profound. I will endeavor to be the best that I can working and making progress on myself so that I may be of a greater service to others."

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark  *NEW* Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms

Healing Body Disorders *20% OFF*  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past  Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Access the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

The one where I begged God

20-05-23

It’s Memorial Day. I’m sitting by the lake that I love an hour from my house. The sound of the waves in the lake are soothing and loud. It looks like rain will fall eventually, though according to my app no rain is in the forecast. It’s still early so not a lot of people are here. There’s a peaceful solitude of being comfortable in my car watching the waves. It’s been quite the weekend. It’s been a prayerful weekend.

On Saturday I went shopping with my sister in the city. I’ve had an acid reflux flare up for the past week or so. It’s been annoying and brutal. It’s hard to swallow. It feels like my neck is tight, swollen, puffy, and my tongue is lightly burning again. I’ve been trying to decrease the acid in my body. Drinking water with baking soda in it, taking antacids, watching what I eat and how much I eat. I’ve been having hamburger steak plates for that last two weeks. I don’t know if it’s the red meat causing the reaction or if it’s just random things. It’s so hard to live off just fruits and veggies. Then there are other things—financial inabilities, thyroid problems, other health problems, etc.

When I had my reflux attack, I had been drinking tea from Starbucks. I haven’t had that in over a year. I thought it would be okay. It was not. I spent an hour regurgitating liquids. It was horrible. It was rough. I could hardly breathe properly and all the above symptoms continued. By the time I hit the expressway I was in a miserable mindset. I had actually ordered plain grilled chicken and a potato from a restaurant and paid for it online. I didn’t even go to get it. Out of fear and exhaustion. It just seems to me that eating is so hard and scary after these symptoms. So I didn’t go get the food. I merely headed for home.

On the way, I cried and begged God for nearly the hour ride. And I mean big, desperate tears. I begged God to take this sickness from me. I told him how I couldn’t do it anymore—couldn’t handle it anymore. And I can’t. I confessed my sins and talked to him in a way that I haven’t in a long time. It came from desperation and a sheer need for healing. I cried and begged and cried some more—all while driving home. As I began to do this, the mucus loosened and I did feel better in the moment.

The spiritual aspect of this was the most rewarding. I became closer to God and it feels like I was a little more honest with Him. In asking Him to meet my needs, I opened the door to let Him come a little further into my life. I knew I wouldn’t get healing immediately and I know that I may never be fully healed but I do have faith that God is taking care of me and has His hands on me.

I don’t know what my actual diagnosis is, but it seems like I’m close to figuring it out. It’s something to do with the acid in my body. I’m trying to sort it all out. I think there’s a connection between that and my allergies. I’ve always had allergies and it’s always been brutal. There’s just so much mucus in my body, it seems. I’m trying to rid myself of that. How I do that or what that looks like is yet to be determined but I know that through my tears and begging I released a lot of pent up fear, mucus, and tears. It’s been a hard year. A year of sickness and fear—but a year of transformation. It’s only been 6 months and I’ve lost around 60 pounds. It’s only May. My health is actually probably the best it’s ever been, but I still have to deal with it and several unknowns.

I don’t know where God is taking me with this, but I know that I’m going with him and trusting in Him to sustain me. To transform me. To put me where I’m suppose to be in this place and time. I will hold on to my faith with this and while I do selfishly pray that God would reach down His hand and heal me today, immediately, and quickly I do know that isn’t really how things work. If that were the case, we would never know or learn the lessons God tries to teach us.

For my little circle of readers, I want to include you. Let us pray.

Dear Lord, I come to you today on behalf of myself and those who are taking this journey with me. Lord, I’m so thankful for those who support me, reach out to me, and teach me as I continue on my journey with you. Lord you know it’s my desire to grow closer to you every single day and to transform into the Christian that you want me to be so that I can do your work here on earth. Lord, you know my struggles with my health and my finances, the struggles in my work life, the struggles at home. You know my fear and you know my pain. But you also know my faith and that I am securely tethered to you. God I know that you will heal me in your own time, but please give me the strength to endure until you do. I have so many plans and ways I want to share You with the world and I can’t do that sick. Or with the limitations I’m experiencing. God, I pray that You just reach out your hands of healing and touch my body. Heal me so that I might go forth and do your work. I ask these and all things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

If you prayed a similar prayer this week or if you’ve struggled or found yourself begging God, I want you to know that He sees you and hears you. It’s my prayer that you stay the course, keep growing your faith, and know in your heart that God is with us and works through us to redeem and sustain us. God’s grace surrounds us and while as humans it is hard to navigate this world, we must remember that God is navigating it with us. Move forward, lean on your people and God, and endure. God is with you—even when it’s not pretty and even when you find yourself in a place of crying and begging and fear. God is with you. Reach out to Him.