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cedarsmoke4 · 5 months

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Okay my writing brain is simultaneously extremely exhausted/borderline burnt-out and also working on several different ideas at once, so there’s a HOT chance I’ll never get to this concept, but I’m writing/rambling the (extended) idea here so it’s out there—

Consider: You’ve repeatedly had terrible luck with auto mechanics, to the point where you’re absolutely desperate for genuine help. You’re sick of having to fight through the hoards of lying salesmen who are trying to trick you into paying exorbitant prices just because they can tell you’re not car-savvy. You want someone who doesn’t even look at your face, someone who can just figure out what the fuck is going on with your vehicle and can fix it for a reasonable price. That’s it.

Cue your friend telling you that they’ve heard from a friend of a friend who’s heard of someone, a reliable source tho, that there’s a guy who can fix anything, and fix it fast. He’s just weird. And abrasive. And rude. He doesn’t sugar coat or extort, and he barely even pays attention to you if you bring him something. The problem is, he doesn’t have a phone, and he doesn’t work specific hours, or even specific days. Also, his shop is in the middle of nowhere. If you go there you’ll just have to hope you catch him, and if you don’t, sucks to be you.

So you take the address from your friend and drive your shitbox down increasingly abandoned looking country roads until you arrive at what looks like a very large, run down garage. Scrap metal litters the yard outside, everything from old iron bathtubs to what looks like the shell of an ancient military tank. Youre desperate enough at this point that you’re willing to risk the potential rabid serial killer who might live at such a place, and you knock on the door as instructed.

You’re in luck—someone grunts out a curse from inside and drops what sounds like a steel suitcase full of metal door knobs. More clattering, then you hear the mystery mechanic yell, “come in!” You contemplate turning back, but no such luck. Your car has been making the worst noises lately, and the entire last mile to this place it was screeching bloody murder.

So you go inside. It’s dark and there’s metal everywhere, including piled up on the wooden crates that look like they might be a makeshift front counter. The cash register balances precariously on top seems convincing enough.

You nervously say, “hello?” toward the darkness through the door in the ramshackle wall, but there’s no reply. Then, lights flick on in the back room, and you hear very heavy footsteps stomping toward you.

“Cash only,” a rasping voice snaps from behind a pile of scrap nearby. You flinch, but you came prepared, so you yank a wad of bills from your jacket and slap them down on the teetering crates. Be short and to the point, you remind yourself. He doesn’t like ramblers.

“My car is fucked,” you blurt out. “Heard you can fix it.”

Silence follows your words, then a figure emerges from behind the mountains of metal. It’s a man—an extremely tall and broad man with shaggy, disheveled gray hair. You’re struck for a moment by what he’s wearing, curious about the choices he’d made while picking out his work ensemble. Usually mechanics wore coveralls to keep the mess from staining their clothes, but this man is dressed in a plain white t-shirt and jeans, both carelessly smeared with oil, dirt, and rust. What really confuses you, though, is the pair of dark, round sunglasses settled on the bridge of his nose. How can he see in this shitty, dim lighting?

He really doesn’t look at you as he moves forward, his gaze apparently already trained on the part of your car that’s visible through the outside doorway. You’d forgotten to close the door. The man doesn’t seem to mind, though. He passes you without so much as a glance, then leans against the door frame and starts muttering to himself, still apparently focused on your vehicle.

“Haven’t seen you around before,” the man remarks suddenly, turning his shoulders slightly toward you without actually looking at you. You jump, having been convinced he’d forgotten you were standing there.

“I had no other choice,” you say, then you bite your lip. You’d been surprised into blunt honesty, something you would’ve preferred to avoid. Instead of seeming offended, however, the man lets out a raspy, barking laugh.

“Well aren’t you just the smartest little cookie that’s waltzed into my shop in ages,” he drawls, the words making you bristle with anger. He finally turns back toward you, taking a few steps closer, and—much to your rapidly rising displeasure—he looks you straight in the face. His gaze, while hidden behind the dark glasses, is almost tangible as it rakes over your features. Goosebumps ripple down your arms. You’re pinned under his invisible gaze, suddenly terrified. You really shouldn’t have come here.

The cash register behind you makes a very loud dinging sound, and you nearly start out of your skin.

“Alright. I’ll fix your car, little cookie crumb,” the man says, moving past you to pick up the stack of bills you’d put on the crate. “You can wait in here.” He doesn’t even count the money before shoving it into his back pocket. You’re frozen again, insulted beyond belief by the incredibly patronizing nickname he’s given you but relieved nearly to the point of tears that he’s willing to work on your vehicle. The man apparently doesn’t notice your conflicted state. He walks toward the back room, then pauses in the doorway to send you one final glance over his shoulder.

“Don’t bother me while I’m working,” he drawls, and you see a flash of a strangely silvery-green eye behind the dark glasses as he turns back around. “If you disrupt my process, you’ll regret it dearly.”

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Cue shenanigans, you peek and see that he’s telekinetically manipulating metal, then he catches you and sexy shenanigans happen—extra plus if you’ve got a septum ring, which I do so I’m giving this reader one too lmao😂😂

#karl heisenberg #x reader #re8 #resident evil village #heisenberg x reader #ficlet #modern au #cedar scribbles #listen I probably won’t ever finish this but maybe I will #basically I’m not promising anything but also I love the vibes already so #it might happen #might not #we shall see #also I did not edit this so #pardon the mistakes lmao

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butchfalin · 7 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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yanderemeganekko · 2 months

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#so how're the anime-only fans feeling about the new episode #also I definitely did steal this joke but it was too good to not edit #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #I wanna see my little boyyy

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hinamie · 2 months

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surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

#my art #yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #yoi #fanart #katsuki yuuri #victor nikiforov #victuuri #yoi fanart #this was the secret 4th thing that lost the poll jdsfgsdfjj #id been thinking about doing a tribute since getting that one ask but i didn't anticipate how Into it i would get once i started #the way i flew through this piece .. just over 1 day??? insane #yuri is /that/ ingrained in my muscle memory #I was looking at refs and ?? id forgotten how wild this show was #we just got all of that?? a pole dance a proposal a kiss a pair skate....and it was ALL canon? incredible #AND YEAH UNPROMPTED HISTORY MAKER PLAYS IN MY YT MIX #dean fujioka jumpscare #also looking back at my old yoi pieces was so wild. that ws really 8 years ago huh.#little bit of an ego boost looking at how far ive come #but also im just grateful idk sry 2 b sappy on main #i hope 16 year old me is happy that i did this bc im happy i did this #edit bc i forgot a bunch of white outline i am a fraud

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abracadaze · 2 years

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i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

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clown-owo · 1 year

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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot #i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself #just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal #my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos #but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time #portal #chell #GlaDOS #GlaD0S #my art #og post #1k #5k #10k #20k #edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place #and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing #i didn't think it would gain much attention #i was Wrong #anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline #EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you

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krysmcscience · 21 days

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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]

#fanart #comics #cult of the lamb #cotl #narilamb #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl yellow cat #this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it #the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles #look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles #that's just science #the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess #only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion #they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO #someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having #today is not that day #today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be #(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys #EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again #fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao #EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC #i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*

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hayden-christensen · 1 month

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It all started with a farmboy, a scoundrel, a princess, and a dark lord...

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY STAR WARS WEEK 2024 DAY 6: MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU

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hugs-and-stabbies · 20 days

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The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT

#dead plate #rody lamoree #rody x vincent #vincent charbonneau #rodince #rodincent #my art #i saw someone tag one of my drawings with a version of their ship name using their last names and it was nice but i forgot what it was #aksjdhf #also NOO i forgot Rody's lil moles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#thankfully at least tumblr allows edits #anyways #rody looks so wonky to me but I just wanted to stop fidgeting with it and post it since i wasnt getting anywhere anyways aksjdfh #also little story time lol #when i was in 10th grade there was this girl in my chemisty class that i was kinda frienemies with #we just always got into arguments with each other but the vibe ultimately stayed light and friendly between us #kinda like a <<fuck you but anyways what did you get for no. 5>> kind of situation #one day she slammed one of her hands against the door right next to my head 😳😳#i think she was trying to intimidate me but instead it just gave me a core memory LMAOOO #thankfully by then i already knew i wasnt straight lol but it definitely unlocked something in me hahahah

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soosoosoup · 27 days

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Funk branch au

Au and branch design by @bbc-trolls

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls au #trolls branch #trolls prince d #trolls queen essence #trolls king quincy #thank you bbc-trolls!! for both making this au! and for giving permission for fanart <3 #oooghghg love this au #never knew I needed something so much #Funk family! your perfect! your everything #forgive me my queen! had a hard time drawing you #funk trolls are a bit of a struggle lol #‘branch gets adopted by another tribe’ you will always be famous #yeh funk fam and even funk trolls as a whole would be a good fit for branch #their advanced tech. how accepting/understanding they are (cue twt talk about differences) and did you see them get ready to battle!#the more I think abt this au the more I love it #the more I think about funk trolls the more I LOVE THEM<3 #they're so cool #this took a little long to make. kept adding more and more lol #in case your wondering Quincy is giving a talk about how him being different to both pop and funk is okay and should be cherished #like that talk in twt about how the strings/troll genres are different and to not deny it cause it's an important.#silk sonic on repeat making this! edit: forgot to say thanks to lonedawn for mentioning the album on bbc’s og post! you are so right <3 #also listened to other funky songs #need more funk music!! it reaches as special part of the soul #can not recommend 'atomic dog world tour remix' enough. it's so good. prince d's verse at 1:27 fav #trolls fanart #excuse the messiness #funk branch au #my art <3

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avnasace · 9 months

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(edited for spoiler warnings jjk spoilers ch236) gojo and geto now having the same death anniversary, megumi's body being used to kill someone he loves AGAIN, gojo's students all watching him get sliced in half, gojo wishing geto was a teacher, the fever dream conversation with Geto, Haibara and Nanami, oh gege we are in your walls for real this time you were cruel for this...

#im devastated #also not gojo and dazai in one week come ON bro #so many Ls for gojo winners this week #gege did him So dirty #im kinda unhappy wirh how he handled rhis but oh well we will see next week #gojo satoru #geto suguru #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #haibara yu #jjk236 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #ace rambles #i put spoilers in the tags but edited to add to post apologies to anyone who got spoiled)

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zecoritheweirdone · 1 month

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wanna preface this by saying that i am. So normal. anyway i just spent the last week redrawing scenes from mystery skulls animated but as that hermitcraft au i posted about a couple times. you guys should watch msa it is. so so good.