#all the cws before you click through tho
Text
PLEASE, LOVE ME. PT 1
simon riley / reader
FIND PART TWO || read the full thing on ao3
tags: childhood friends, friends2lovers, virgin!reader, soft!simon, protective!simon, afab!reader, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, MDNI
cw: reader is over 20, pining, masturbation (reader), loss of virginity, explicit workplace sexual harassment/assault, so much crying, one-sided love, not-really-unrequited love, vomiting, panic attacks, depression, crying, sex related shame, PTSD (reader), codependency but cute, self-deprecating thoughts, slut shaming, wet dream, dry humping, simon fucks up tho, reference to suicide & suicidal ideation, really nasty argument, reader hits simon sorry, apologizes tho!!!, reader struggles to orgasm, drinking, fooling around while drunk (no sex), breast play, fingering, orgasm denial, simon's a tease, p-in-v, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, creampie, mating press, missionary, simon's dirty mouth, dirty talk, wet&messy, big cock, uncut simon bc i said so, reassurance & encouragement, some pain upon penetration, clit spanking, post-coital crying!!!!!!, aftercare, briefly edited so apologies for any lingering mistakes
note: any triggering acts such as harassment/sa are done by a third party, not simon!!! also the sa is not vague or implied, there is a written out scene so please be mindful when you read! thank u to @allsaiint for reading over this and helping!
you've loved him since you were children. after a confession when you were 14 went rejected, you vowed to never let your feelings be known again. but after an incident that left you hurt and fragile, you find it hard to keep that promise.
part 1: 17.8k
total: 35.8k
Your muscles were stiff, thighs twitching and trembling as you laid in bed, staring at your water stained ceiling. Your chest rose and fell in time with rapid breathing. You had worn yourself out, caused a wet spot on your bed, yet you remained completely unsatisfied. Your fingers were cramped up and you let out a groan of frustration, rolling over to crawl out of bed.
It had become a daily ritual at this point, you with your hand between your thighs, rubbing and touching, only to get into the shower completely unsatisfied and embarrassed at your own inability to get yourself off.
People your age didn’t struggle like this, you convinced yourself. Your cheeks burned as you stepped under the warm spray from your showerhead, the creaking pipes just background noise to you now. You were broken, that was the only explanation you could think of.
By the time you got out of the shower and changed your sheets, throwing the dirty ones into the washer, it was evening and a familiar knocking rang through your apartment.
You didn’t even have to answer it before the lock was clicking and the large form of your best friend Simon ducked in.
“Hey, Simon!” you called cheerfully, excitedly bounding into the room and wrapping your arms around him in greeting.
He grunted, harshly patting your back in the familiar way he always does before kicking his boots off. When he straightened up, his eyes narrowed as he looked down at you.
“What's with you?” he asked, a thick, dark brow raised suspiciously.
“Um,” you stepped back, shrugging as you tried to look nonchalant, “What do you mean?”
“You look…” his eyes raked down your body, clearly assessing you, “You look tense.”
Immediately, your cheeks erupted into flames. Your face felt so hot that you had to bring your hands up to cool them before laughing nervously, “That’s no different than usual.”
He was silent for several, long, grueling seconds before grunting and breezing past you to the kitchen, clearly letting it drop. You took a moment to catch your breath before following him, finding him hunched over looking into your barren refrigerator.
“Where’s all your fuckin’ food?” he snapped, straightening back up with a huff when he heard you come in behind him.
“Didn’t get a chance to shop this week, Si,” you replied stiffly, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Why?” he demanded, slamming the appliance closed before heading to your cabinets to do inventory there too.
“Paycheck was short again this week,” you answered, speaking quietly in hopes he wouldn’t look into it anymore than that.
He angrily slammed a cabinet closed and leaned on his palms against the counter, head hung between his shoulders, “Your boss fuckin’ stiff you again?”
“I-It’s not a big deal, Simon–” you attempted to quell him.
“Not a big deal?” he snapped, slamming his hands down on the counter, making you flinch at the noise. You knew Simon would never, ever hurt you but his anger was something to behold nonetheless, “It is a big deal when you can’t even afford to fuckin’ eat!”
“Simon…” you whisper, anxiously picking at a string on your cotton shorts, “I wasn’t going hungry, I have like…ramen and stuff…”
He says your name through gritted teeth, letting out a frustrated sigh, “Why didn’t you tell me that you couldn’t afford proper groceries?”
“I didn’t want to bother you with it, Si,” you mutter, “I-It’s my problem, not yours.”
He gives you a long, unblinking stare. His usual soft, puppy dog brown eyes now felt intimidating. One thing about Simon was that he never hid it when he was clearly upset with you. And knowing he was right now made you hang your head pitifully.
He moves suddenly, tugging his wallet out of his back pocket, pulling out a small stack of clean bills, slapping them on your countertop.
“Simon, no–” you attempt to reach out for them, willing him to take the money back.
He grabs your hand immediately, shoving the appendage away from the money, “You’ll take this and you’ll go to the store tomorrow and get some damn food or I’m going to go to the bar and wrap my fuckin’ hands around your boss’s throat until he coughs up your money.”
“You don’t have to do this, Simon!” you argue, exasperated, “Y-You don’t have to take care of me like this.”
“Yes, I fuckin’ do!” he counters, “You’re my responsibility and I’m not going to let you exist on fuckin’ cup noodles until that shithead pays you properly, not when I can take care of you. Now stop arguing and put this in your wallet now.”
He used that damn Lieutenant voice, leaving no room for argument. You bit your lip and slowly picked up the bills from the counter.
“Thank you, Simon…” you whisper, clutching the money close to your chest as you offer him a wobbly smile.
“Shut up and go,” he huffs, though his voice is much softer and affectionate now.
You turn on your heel and go to the table by the door, slowly taking the time to place the money safely inside. You felt tears pricking at your eyes. You were so, so lucky to have someone in your life that did everything in his power to take care of you, to look after you and make sure you had food on the table. No one had ever cared about your well-being the way Simon did, and your heart felt incredibly full because of it.
You could hear him still stalking around the kitchen, grumbling to himself in annoyance. He comes out of the kitchen, phone in hand, before he’s taking a seat on your old, creaky couch. His knee is bouncing up and down in that way it always does. It’s like he’s always a live wire, ready and waiting for something to happen.
“Is something wrong?” you ask, still standing by the table.
He grunts, shaking his head, “Orderin' dinner.”
“Oh,” you mumble, “What’re you getting?”
“Gettin’ from that breakfast diner you like,” he responds quickly, not looking up from his phone.
“You don’t even like that place,” you giggle, “In the mood for a breakfast sandwich?”
“Not for me,” was his clipped response.
“What?” you whine, “Simon, don’t order me food!”
“Did you eat today?” he asks quickly, placing his phone on the table, clearly done with the order.
“I had cup noodles!” you point an accusing finger at him, “So yes!”
“That’s not real food,” he leans against the back of the couch, closing his eyes with his arms crossed over his chest. End of conversation.
You sigh, shaking your head. You debate continuing to pester him about it but you hear your washing machine begin to ring the jingle signaling the cycle is finished. You cast one last, unseen glare to the man on your couch before heading to the washer, methodically taking the now clean sheets out.
You finish placing it in the dryer and turning the machine on, stepping back into the living room when there’s a knock on the door. Simon is on his feet in seconds and at the door before you can even react. When he slams the door shut, he holds the bag of food up for you to see, dropping it on the coffee table before taking a seat again. He resumes the same position, arms cross over his chest and eyes closed.
“Are you tired?” you ask softly, taking the empty seat beside him. He hums in response, “You want to spend the night?”
“Guess so,” he responds after a few seconds, “You work tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow night,” you mumble, reaching for the bag of food, untying the knot so you can get inside, “I hate working Friday nights.”
“I can stop by tomorrow if you want,” he offers, finally opening his eyes.
You think it over for a minute. It wouldn’t be the first time he sat in the bar on a busy Friday night, nursing a half-drunk bourbon, as he waited for you to get off, “I think it’ll be okay. Last week was fine.”
He simply stares at you in silence before sighing through his nose. But he doesn’t argue and you’re thankful for that.
Simon’s been looking after you like this since you turned 18 and moved out on your own. There have been many, many days and nights that you’ve taken up his time and energy and as you grew older, you tried to do it less. He had an incredibly busy job and life and the last thing you wanted was to add weight onto his already heavy shoulders.
The evening turned to night and before you knew it you had a full belly and leftovers to store in the fridge for breakfast. You folded your dried sheet and placed it in the hallway closet, acutely aware of the sound of Simon showering in your bathroom.
It wasn’t a very big shower and you sometimes wondered what it looked like for him in there. Surely he had to hunch down to properly wash his hair and shoulders. But those thoughts always turned into something less than innocent.
You imagined what he looked like, all wet. How big he surely looked in there, no doubt he would dwarf you. He would be able to easily crowd you in the corner, make it so you couldn't escape as he blocked the exit – not that you would want to escape.
You slapped a hand against your forehead, shaking your head violently to rid yourself of those thoughts. You tugged a spare blanket out of the closet and slammed it closed, rushing to your bedroom to place it on your bed.
Your cheeks burned with shame over having such unsavory thoughts about your best friend. As much as you liked to pretend that the crush you had on him when you were children had faded like typical puppy love, you knew your feelings were alive and well deep inside where you had pushed them when he rejected you when you were 14.
It was just because you were so pent up, you convinced yourself, you would have those thoughts about any man that was inside your shower!
You crawled onto your side of the bed, flopping back into your pillow as you waited for him to come in. You completely ignored the throbbing between your thighs, a feeling you were more than used to by now. But your fingers itched to reach down, slip beneath the band of your shorts and touch your clit, the little bud throbbed so desperately that when you clenched your thighs together, a shiver would go down your spine.
Just as you started to reach down, just to try and relieve the ache that settled there, the bathroom door opened. You yanked your hand back up and tried to look casual as you heard his heavy footsteps move towards the bedroom door.
He pushed the door open wider so he could come in, having to duck his head down to avoid hitting his head. He placed his towel in the laundry basket and slowly crawled into bed beside you, placing his pillow flat so he could comfortably lay down.
Some people may find it strange sleeping with him like this, but your couch was much too small for him and he would rather cut his own fingers off than make you sleep on the damned thing. It was old and so uncomfortable that it caused you to be sore if you sat on it for too long. Plus, you never felt uncomfortable having him in the bed with you like this. He was warm and safe and he always smelled like your grapefruit body wash after he showered.
It made your heart thump in your chest, knowing he walked around the next day smelling like you.
“Goodnight, Simon,” you mumbled, reaching over to turn your bedside lamp off.
He grunted quietly, rolling over so his back was facing you. You smiled in the dark and snuggled down into your own blanket, closing your eyes as well.
The next morning, you woke up and the bed was empty. As usual.
Even when he was home, Simon functioned off of the strict military schedule he’d been accustomed to for his many years in the military. You sat up and stretched your arms above your head, tossing your blanket off of you. The floor was chilly against your bare feet, making you shiver.
After going pee, you ventured out into the living room. Simon was lounging, quietly watching TV – the morning news, it seemed.
“Good morning,” you called.
“Eat,” was all he replied, not even breaking his gaze off of the TV.
You purse your lips but do as you’re told – not because he said so, but because your stomach was painfully growling and the breakfast sandwich in the fridge sounded delicious.
As you heated it up in the microwave, you hummed to yourself.
“I’m going to go to the store after I eat,” you called, “Do you want to come?”
“Nah,” he grunted, “Gotta go soon.”
“Oh,” you tried to hide your disappointment, “Will you be back tonight?”
“Probably not,” he responded, your disappointment only growing at that.
The microwave beeped and you pulled your plate of food out, bringing it back to the living room to eat it beside him. He took up an absurd amount of space given how large he was and how small your couch was – but you didn’t mind being pressed up against him. You didn’t think he minded either because he never bothered to move away.
You quietly ate your breakfast, finishing up just as the news segment ended. Simon stood, knees popping as he did, patting his pockets to make sure he had his keys and wallet before pausing, looking around.
“You leaving?” you ask, placing your plate on the table as you followed his lead, standing.
“Got to,” he mumbled, still glancing around, “Where’s my phone?”
“You leave it in the bedroom?” you offer.
He sighs and disappears down the hall for a split minute before returning, tucking the device into his pocket. He grabs his coat off the table by the door, slipping it on and zipping it up. You approach him by the door, watching him slip his boots on and tie them.
“See you later, Si,” you say, trying your best to hide your disappointment at him leaving.
You never wanted him to leave, always feeling painfully lonely without his presence in your home. Since he was gone for long periods so often, you liked to enjoy his company as much as you can when he’s home. But you would never be the type to ask him to stay when he couldn’t because you knew he would run himself ragged to keep you company even when he was exhausted and had other things to do on top of it. You never wanted to be a burden to him.
He straightens up, stomping his feet a couple times to make sure his boots were on fine. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you against his chest. You wrap both arms around his middle and hug him tight.
“I’ll come by when I can,” he mutters, pulling back to press a kiss to your forehead.
Then he’s gone, the door slamming closed and leaving you by yourself in the doorway, already feeling an emptiness that would remain until he returned.
Just as you promised, you went out and bought groceries, courtesy of the money Simon had so kindly given you. You made sure you had some meat, fruit, and veggies, along with some canned goods. You made sure you didn’t buy cup noodles because he certainly wouldn’t be thrilled to know you bought that since he was so vehemently against them being in your diet.
When you got home, you put all the groceries away and quickly realized that you had some time to spare before you had to get ready for your shift at the bar.
As you sit on the couch, mindlessly watching some random show you’ve seen a hundred times before, you suddenly realize you’re squeezing your thighs together.
And your panties are feeling awfully sticky.
Your body heats up as you find yourself cupping your breasts through your shirt and bra. But you quickly realize that’s doing nothing for you and you strip your shirt off, pulling the sports bra over your breasts to cup them without the fabric restriction. You sigh and relax into the couch as you pull and pinch your nipple, tugging them and rolling them beneath your fingers. Your thighs clench and rub together as you tease yourself.
But you tire of that quickly, knowing you could do something that felt so much better.
Your fingers tremble as you tug the button of your jeans open and kick them off, letting your panties go down with them. You take note of the fact the center is completely sticky and wet. God, how long had you been dripping into your panties like that?
You lean back on the couch, placing your feet on the cushions, letting your legs open nice and wide. Your folds flower open, embarrassingly wet and shiny. Your clit is hard and swollen between them and you can practically see the bud twitching.
With two, shaky fingers, you reach down and swipe over the bud. Your entire body twitches at the contact and you sigh as you slowly circle it, using your own slick as lubrication.
You bring a finger to your entrance, prodding at the stickiness there. It’s embarrassing how wet you are. Your pussy makes loud noises as you touch but it doesn’t really provide you much pleasure so you bring your finger back to your clit.
You circle it, pinch it, and roll your fingers over it. You’re quietly moaning, lidded eyes hazy as you watch your fingers play between your thighs. It feels good, a warm feeling settling in your gut the more you touch yourself.
But then the inevitable happens – it’s like you hit a wall.
You whine in frustration, speeding up your movements to hopefully reach the edge that you know is right over the wall. But you don’t get any further, if anything you feel that warmth vanishing at an alarming rate.
Tears sting your eyes, “No, no, no…” you beg no one.
You grit your teeth in frustration, yanking your hand away to watch your pussy clench and throb over nothing, drooling and dripping slick onto the couch. But you’re too frustrated to try anymore.
You close your thighs and flop down onto the couch, letting a few tears escape.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” you quietly complain, slapping the couch out of frustration.
Your lamenting is interrupted by your phone going off. You look at it on the table and see it's the alarm you set to let you know to start getting ready.
Great, you spent 45 minutes playing with yourself and still didn’t get any further than you had for the last 20-something years of your life.
You were starting to think you should schedule an appointment with a doctor and find out if you were well and truly broken, but quickly decided against it. That would be fucking humiliating.
What would you say, “Hi, I can’t make myself orgasm and never have, please doctor, tell me if my vagina is broken?” Absolutely not.
You collect your clothes from the living room floor and toss them in your laundry basket in your room before you take a very fast shower just to clean your own mess up. Then, you get dressed and ready for the shift you know is going to suck at the bar.
At the door, you make sure you have your belongings. You turn out all your lights and lock the door behind you before setting off to the bar.
It’s not a long walk, about 15 minutes away. But just the idea of stepping foot inside the bar fills you with dread.
It was a little hole in the wall place, shady and seedy were the best ways to describe it. You got pretty good tips from the patrons most nights but your boss was the biggest piece of shit you’d ever had the misfortune of being in close proximity with.
He had a very bad habit of putting his hands where they didn’t belong and cutting his employee’s pay for no reason – or reasons he completely made up. Your last paycheck was short because he claims that you ‘got enough in tips to make up the loss’ – you didn’t. And when you argued, he threatened to fire you.
You were already living in the cheapest flat you could afford; it was run-down and poorly maintained. But it was better than not having a roof over your head. And it was a fight to even get hired at the shitty bar you worked at now, you weren’t willing to go back to looking for work.
So you simply bit your tongue and took what money you could get. It wasn’t the first time he did it and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last.
You got to work as soon as you clocked in, greeting your coworkers with a tense smile that they returned. Everyone was in the same boat as you, after all. No one would choose to work here unless they were down on their luck like you.
The night started slow, slower than usual for a Friday night. Despite the place looking like it was going to fall down around you and the occasional rat that scampered across the floor, the bar was actually kind of a hotspot. The alcohol was cheap and your boss never cut anyone off so patrons were free to get as sloshed as they wanted.
That also meant the customers tended to get rather unruly.
Which is exactly what happened when the night inevitably picked up. More people came in, more drinks were ordered, and you were running around the place like mad to get drinks where they needed to be.
You cast a glance to the clock behind the bar, sighing in relief when you realized you had 10 minutes left of this hell.
You were sure you were a sight, clearly run ragged and ready to get the hell out of there and go home. Your feet were sore from the old, worn shoes you wore. They looked fine on the outside, cute, but the soles were worn down and provided absolutely no cushion. It was hell.
“This goes to the corner table,” the bartender called over the loud voices of the bar. He was a nice guy, couldn’t be older than 20, but you honestly couldn’t even recall his name.
You took the tray of shitty beer from the counter and quickly made your way to the corner table in the back, careful not to spill a drop. You placed the tray down and gave the guys at the table a charming smile.
“Here’s your drinks,” you said, placing a glass in front of all 4 of them.
“Thanks, beautiful,” one of them slurred, given a drunken wink.
“Um, is there anything else you need?” you asked, ignoring his flirting, as you picked up the tray.
“Maybe,” another one chuckled, leaning back in his seat, raking his eyes down your body. You wished you could crawl into a hole at the feeling of his gaze on you. Despite being fully clothed, it made you feel incredibly naked – like he could see through your clothes.
It certainly wasn’t the first time a customer or two flirted with you. It was sort of a rampant problem in this bar, if you were honest.
“What is it you need?” you asked, wishing so badly you could just be free from the conversation.
One of them pulled out a stack of money, waving it in front of your face, “I’ll tip you this if you show us your tits.”
Your cheeks burned hot in humiliation as the other three laughed and jeered. You shifted on your feet, tapping your fingers anxiously against the metal tray in your hands, envisioning yourself slamming it over their heads.
“N-No thank you…I-I don’t think that would be appropriate,” you hope that they can’t hear the way your voice trembles over all the noise in the bar.
“Come on, sexy,” the one with the money grinned, licking over his teeth as his eyes narrowed on your chest, “Bet they’re real nice. C’mon, you need the money right? Why else would you be working at a place like this? Go on, just lift your shirt up and let us see them tits!”
“M-My shift is over, I really need to go,” you shakily smile and take a step back, “I-I hope you enjoy your night, boys.”
Your attempt to diffuse the situation and get out of it proved futile because when you attempted to flee, one of them clapped a firm hand around your wrist and tugged you forward. You stumbled on your feet, dropping the metal tray with a gasp, finding yourself nose to nose with one of them. The smell of alcohol was potent on his breath and it made your lip curl in disgust. You tried to tug yourself free of his grasp but his grip was too strong.
The guy sitting on the other side of the one who had a hold on you reached over his buddy to yank the neckline of your shirt down, the cheap, worn material stretching with ease until it tore at the weakest point. You let out a horrified cry when your bra became visible to the group, all of them cheering and shouting degrading things right in your face.
The one across the table reached down, you felt his hand against your breast through your bra and a lightning bolt of pure terror ripped through you. It was like everything happened in slow motion.
You could feel his thumb hook under your bra and start to tug, tears flooded your eyes and dripped down your cheeks. You raised a hand and as hard as you could, slapped the one still holding you clean across the face.
The entire table went still but his grasp loosened enough for you to turn on your heel and bolt as fast as you could into the staff room, covering your exposed bra with your arms as best you could. You passed one of your coworkers, her eyes wide in concern when she saw your state.
She followed you into the staff room, closing the door quietly behind her. You stood in front of your locker, ripping it open as you attempted to collect your things but your mind was running too fast for you to actually make any meaningful movements.
Your coworker called your name and you paused.
“Hey, take a breath,” she whispered softly, placing a hand on your back. You realized you were hyperventilating. You attempted to level out your breathing, wiping the tears off of your cheeks only for more to replace them.
“What happened?” she asked softly, “Do you want me to call someone? The police?”
You shake your head, opening your mouth to respond but only a little sob comes out. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. She looks nothing but sympathetic, softly patting your back and encouraging you to breathe deeply.
The staff room door suddenly slams open, making both of you jump. Your boss storms in, completely red in the face and furious.
“Get out,” he snaps at your coworker.
She casts an apologetic look to you, squeezing your hand before she ducks her head and leaves the staff room. He slams the door behind her, locking it for good measure – leaving both of you alone.
He advances on you faster than you can react, he wraps a hand around your throat and slams you against the lockers. It hurts but you can’t get a noise past the grip around your neck. You blink back the tears that are still coming, trying to see him more clearly.
“Are you broke in the fuckin’ head?!” he screams, a volume that makes your ears ring. You wonder if the patrons can hear it outside, “You put your hands on a customer?!”
“Th-They put their hands on me first!” you defended yourself, hoarse and choked under his grip, “They touched me!”
He only looks more furious, eyes falling to your ripped shirt and exposed bra. He grabs one side of the already torn shirt and yanks, ripping it the rest of the way. Your eyes go wide and your first instinct is to kick him but you’re panicked and uncoordinated so it misses its mark.
“I don’t give a shit if they forced you over the table and fucked you!” he howls, spitting all over your face in his rage, “You better think fast and hard about how you’re going to rectify this. Do you understand me?”
His grip tightens a bit more around your throat and you hastily nod, blubbering mindless apologies to try and appease him. He doesn’t look any less angry but lets you go nonetheless. Your knees are too shaky to hold you up so you slide down the lockers until you’re sitting on the dirty floor.
“You go out there and you apologize to them,” he hisses through clenched teeth, “Or I’m going to fire you and you’re gonna be out on the fuckin’ streets, got it?”
You nod your head, holding back your sobs but can’t control the tears that fall down your cheeks. He sends you one last glare before turning back to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.
You’re left there, trembling on the floor and quietly crying to yourself. Your heart is racing and you’ve never felt more terrified and humiliated in your life.
The door opens again and you look up in horror at the idea of your boss coming back. But it’s your coworker again.
She quietly crouches next to you and gives you a once over, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“I-I have to apologize t-to them,” you manage to choke out.
Her eyes widened, “No way! You didn’t do anything wrong!”
“I can’t lose this job,” you sob, pressing the heel of your hands to your eyes as you cry, “I need this job. He says he’ll fire me if I don’t apologize!”
“Okay,” she whispers, “I’ll go with you, okay? You can apologize and then you can go, that’s it.”
You nod your head and stand up, using the lockers as a crutch. Your coworker helps you steady yourself before she sees your shirt is ripped even more than when she left.
She whispers your name, “Are you sure he didn’t…”
“He only ripped it,” you assure her, sniffling softly, “But I can’t go out there like this.”
It dawns on you that you forgot a jacket. It was a little warmer today than it had been in days and you had simply neglected to bring one.
“You can borrow my hoodie,” she assures, opening her locker to tug it out, handing it to you, “Go on, you can return it to me another day.”
“Thank you,” you whisper, clumsily sliding it over your head. You feel much better now that you’re covered up, you feel less vulnerable. You quickly collect all your belongings so you can leave as soon as you get this over with.
You let her lead you out of the staff room. The second you’re out, the blaring noise immediately proves to be too much. You wipe your eyes, using the sleeve of the hoodie. You make a note to wash it properly when you return it.
You feel the eyes of strangers on you and it just makes you feel worse with every passing second. You want to go home. You want to shower. You want to crawl into bed. You want Simon.
You let her lead you to the table, all the men are still there laughing and drinking their beers. They fall silent when you approach, four pairs of eyes falling on you, making you feel humiliated and small. They look expectant, the one who ripped your shirt tapping his fingers against the table.
“There you are!” the one who had held your wrist grinned. It was a predatory smile that made your heart race anxiously, “Thought you were gonna run away without apologizing for bein’ a raging bitch.”
You flinch at the insult and your coworker squeezes your hand in support, “I-I’m sorry for slapping you.”
“That’s fuckin’ right!” another one jeered, “Practically ruined our night. How are you going to make it up to us?”
“I’ve got a few ideas!” a different once laughed. The other three joined in eagerly.
“How about you stay back late and really make it up to us, huh?” you squeezed your coworkers hand in yours, already feeling the tears returning with a vengeance.
“How about I bring you a round on me, huh?” she quickly intervenes, “I’ll buy.”
That seems to do it for the 4 men and they rambunctiously cheer and slam their hands on the table obnoxiously. You think you hear her promise to be back with their drinks as she pulls you away from the table. You both hide away in the staff room again and she holds both your hands in hers.
“Go on home,” she says softly.
“I-I’ll pay you back for the drinks–” she shushes you quickly when you start.
“Don’t even worry about it,” she coos, “Go home.”
With a gentle nudge to the back entrance, she casts you one last kind smile before slipping out of the staff door.
You don’t even remember the walk home, your mind completely fuzzy. But you’re sobbing again by the time you stumble into the door. You collapse onto the floor in front of your couch, wailing into the cushions as the weight of the night fully and entirely collapses on you. You can barely breathe through your tears, hiccups and coughs breaking up the endless crying only to resume when you catch your breath.
You have no idea how long you sit there, crying louder and harder than you have in a very, very long time.
You hear your front door creak open before the living room light flips on. You go completely stiff, your crying finally going silent as you hear the familiar heavy footsteps step into the living room before they fall still when he sees you.
He calls your name, soft and gentle in a way that is completely unlike him. Simon isn’t soft, he talks to you in a cold, apathetic and teasing tone. He’s always clipped and blunt. Sure, he’s kind but never gentle.
Just the sweet tone makes your lips wobble and suddenly you’re sobbing again. His boots hit the floor fast, taking quick, big strides so he can reach you as fast as he possibly can. Two strong hands hook under your arms and turn you towards him. He takes a seat beside you on the floor and tugs you into lap.
You melt into his chest, secured by his embrace as he holds you. One hand cups the back of your head and the other wraps around your back.
“You didn’t answer your phone when I called,” he explained his arrival, lips pressed to the crown of your head, “Got worried so I rushed over.”
You grip his hoodie in your hands, anchoring yourself to him as you cry and cry. He remains silent, content to hold you and let you cry out everything you’re feeling.
Just having him there, holding you and comforting you, is enough to ease your tears until you’re just a hiccuping, sniffling mess. You’re taking those quick, stuttering gasping breaths that signify the end of your meltdown and Simon slowly eases his hold on you.
He cups your cheek in one hand, raising your head up so he can really look at you. He rubs a thumb under your eye, wiping away your tears. He looks so concerned, brows furrowed and a frown on his lips.
The sight of his face makes your lips wobble again, “Si…” you finally manage to choke out.
His gaze softens immediately, his other hand coming up to cup your face as well. He leans forward and presses a lingering kiss against your forehead.
“You want to tell me what happened?” he finally asks, letting go of your face to hold your waist, keeping you curled up in his lap.
You think about it. You want to tell him all about it, to get it off of your chest and figure out how the hell you’re supposed to move past it. But you know that if you tell him, he’s going to march his ass to your job the second he gets a chance and put your boss’s head through the wall and find those assholes from the table.
You really can’t afford to lose your job. Your bills are tight enough as it is, you’re scraping by by the skin of your teeth. If you’re jobless for even a week, it’s going to fuck everything up. You’ll never make rent and you can’t end up on the street.
“Just a…bad shift…” you supply lamely.
Simon stares at you, jaw set and tense, “I don’t know what’s worse. The fact you’re lying in the first place or the fact you don’t think you can tell me what really happened.”
“Simon…” you whine, pushing yourself off of his lap, “Just let it go, please.”
He follows your lead when you stand up. He still hasn’t taken his boots off, still too concerned about you to care. Every step he takes is a loud sound of his weight in those boots.
You pace back and forth, arms crossed over your chest.
“I’m not letting it go,” he responds, “I think you know me better than that.”
“Simon, please!” you feel the tears returning again and you suddenly realize how tired you are from crying. Your eyes are sore and you just want to sleep.
“I want to know what happened,” he argues, clearly growing exasperated.
You know he’s not going to let it go. He knows you too well to believe any lies. You press your hands to your face and let out a noise of frustration and despair. You can feel his eyes on you, unwavering and firm. You feel hot, like you’re overheating and suffocated. With trembling hands, you haphazardly tug at the hoodie – you need it off or you’re going to go mad.
Simon reaches forward to help you, watching your rising panic but you slap his hands away. He looks stupefied at your reaction but retracts his hands.
But you can’t get the damned thing off, you’re uncoordinated and clumsy, unable to pull your arms through the sleeves so you can get it off. Why won’t it come off?
“G-Get it off,” you finally cry, completely unaware of the pure horror in your voice.
Simon’s hands are back, “I’ve got you. I’ll get it off ya.”
True to his word, he tugs it up and it slips over your head with ease. You feel like you can take a deep breath finally, feeling the cool air of your living room against your skin again. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you attempt to calm yourself.
He says your name softly but you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. You jump when you feel the ghost of his fingers against your stomach – the skin is bare and it makes your eyes fly open. You look down and remember that your shirt was completely torn open, the hoodie had been hiding it, and now Simon is seeing. You can see the realization in his face.
He’s not an idiot. If anything, he’s more intelligent than anyone you’ve ever known.
Suddenly your stomach turns and you place a hand over your mouth. You’re running down the hallway, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet as you heave.
You don’t hear any movement from Simon. He doesn’t follow you to the bathroom. You’re briefly thankful for the escape as the nausea disappears before you suddenly crave to have him near you again.
“Simon!” you cry, his footfalls an immediate response.
He crouches beside you, placing a hand on your back, “You finished?”
You nod, spitting one last time into the toilet, “I-I want to shower.”
He’s quiet for a moment before he stands, stepping past you to turn on the shower for you. He places a consoling hand on the top of your head in passing before he goes to leave you alone. You reach out and grab his hand before he can get too far.
He pauses and looks at you, easily understanding. He brushes his thumb over your hand, “Not goin’ anywhere, love.”
He takes a step outside of the bathroom and stands there, hands held in front of him as if he were on guard, like a security guard. You flush the toilet and shakily strip your clothes off before stepping into the shower, letting the warm spray ease your sore body and clear your sinuses. You’re terribly stuffy from crying so you can’t even smell your grapefruit body wash this time.
You finish your shower, making sure you scrub your body as best you can before you step out and wrap a towel around your body.
“Are you hungry?” Simon suddenly asks.
“No…” your tone is flatter than you had intended and you realize that you’re completely emotionally drained.
“Alright,” is all he says in reply.
You approach the door, where he’s still standing. You place your hand against his back and he quickly steps aside to let you by. You hear his boots behind you as he follows you to your bedroom.
You sit on the bed, completely exhausted. Simon makes himself busy with going through your dresser, pulling out some clothes for you to wear before he places them on the bed beside you. You don’t make any movements.
He sighs, softly saying your name before crouching in front of you, taking your hands in his.
“Was it your boss?” he asks softly.
“Him and some assholes I was serving drinks to,” you tiredly answer. You don’t have it in you to fight in anymore.
“Why didn’t you want to tell me?” he pries, squeezing your hands.
“Because I know you, Si,” you sniffle, “You’re going to go down there and put them all in the hospital when you find them.”
“And?” he scoffs, “They fuckin’ deserve it. No one gets to put their hands on you like that and get away with it.”
“Because I can’t lose my job, Si!” you finally cry, “I barely make ends meet as it is! I-If I lose my job, what am I supposed to do? I won’t be able to afford rent. I’ll be on the streets!”
“I would never let that happen,” he says firmly, “You will never be on the streets, love. I will always take care of you, you know that.”
“I can’t do that to you, Simon,” you mutter, sniffling again, “Y-You already have so much on your plate I don’t want to be another problem you have to deal with.”
“Is that what you think?” he scoffs, standing up, “That I deal with you? You’re important to me, I take care of you because I never want anything to happen to you. I’m not going to let you work at that shithole for a minute longer.”
You hang your head, unable to supply any arguments to him anymore.
“I’m going to make you something small to eat. You’re going to eat and drink some water and then you’re going to get some rest, understood?” he gives a satisfied hum when you nod your head in compliance.
Once you’re alone, you go over his words again. You’re important to him, that’s what he said. It was the most clear he had ever been with his feelings towards you since you confessed your feelings when you were young.
As you methodically got dressed in the clothes he picked out for you, you reminisced. Memories of him were always something that made you inexplicably happy – except for one memory.
You were 14 and he was 17 at the time. You’d known each other for your entire childhood after his mother had brought him over for a playdate despite the age difference and the fact you were closer in age to his brother.
He had always looked after you and taken care of you, walking you home after school and simply looking after you when your parents were busy. It was inevitable that you would grow feelings for him. You remember the way your heart would race every time you looked at him. You remember telling your friends that he was your boyfriend, hoping he wouldn’t find out.
You had told him one evening when he was hanging out, having dinner with your family, that you liked him – like liked.
You remember how you cried into your pillow night after night when he rejected you. Told you flat out that you were an idiot and to drop it and never, ever bring it up again. That he didn’t feel the same. And that was that.
You never brought it up again.
But the crush never once waned. You decided that his friendship was more important than your feelings for him so you would never let him know. And that’s how it had been ever since.
Simon’s voice calling your name ripped you from your reminiscing. You tied the drawstrings of the sweats he had picked out and quickly made your way to the kitchen.
Simon was washing a pan by the time you arrived but he nodded to a plate he set on the counter for you. It was just a small omelet he made, complete with a light drizzle of ketchup.
He knew you well, you couldn’t deny. You picked up the fork he’d placed on the plate for you and slowly began to eat.
After being sick, your stomach was painfully empty so you were happy to have something on it once again. Simon quietly finished washing the dishes he had dirtied before he placed them on the dish rack and dried his hands.
“Um, Simon?” you called softly, receiving a grunt in reply, “Didn’t you have something going on tonight?”
“Was gonna be out the lads,” he responded, “Doesn’t matter, can hang out with those idiots anytime.”
“You shouldn’t talk about your friends like that,” you said, shaking your head as you took a final bite of your omelet.
“Aint my friends,” he reached down and took your plate from you, tossing it into the sink.
“Simon Riley doesn’t have friends?” you asked, eyes following him as he locked up your apartment and started to turn out the lights.
“Got you,” he said as you followed him down the hall, “All I need.”
A fond smile made its way across your face as he yanked his shirt above his head. You began to make yourself comfortable in bed, trying to keep your eyes off of him as he got dressed for bed. Despite the way you wanted to take the chance to look at him.
Friends. That’s what you were, you reminded yourself.
Finally, he climbed into bed beside you, making himself comfortable before you turned out the light.
Yet, despite your exhaustion from the night, you felt like you couldn’t close your eyes. You felt like you couldn’t relax. The tension in your body was so much that you were sore. Like you had gone to the gym instead of went to work.
“Simon..?” you whispered into the dark. He was silent for a second before he hummed in response, “Can I…tell you what happened tonight?”
He was quiet again but you felt him move, a hand blindly reaching over to you to find your hands. You took it in both of yours, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
“This stupid group of guys were sloshed beyond belief,” you began to tell him, aware of his gaze on you through the dark, “They were just chattin’ shit, saying they’d tip me if I showed them my tits,” he scoffed beside you, clearly displeased, “I said no and tried to leave and they wouldn’t let me. One of them ripped my shirt and tried to pull my bra up so I slapped him.”
“Fuckin’ bastard deserved to get his teeth knocked down his throat,” Simon growled from beside you.
“I got away and went to the staff room but my boss came in and he was so fucking angry, Si,” your voice shook as you remembered the way his face had been so red and a look of pure hate had been in his eyes, “He grabbed my throat and pinned against the lockers. He was angry that I had struck a customer.”
“Of course that’s all that bastard would be angry about,” Simon spit, not bothering to hide his distaste.
“I tried to tell him that I was defending myself but he said–” your voice broke and you struggled to blink back the tears. Simon sat up a bit, pulling you into his chest, letting you curl against him, the rapid hum of his heart loud in your ear, easing you immediately, “He said that he didn’t care if they put me over the table and fucked me, he would fire me if I didn’t apologize to them.”
Simon’s arms tightened around you immediately, cursing under his breath, “He made you apologize to them?”
You nod your head, “It was so humiliating, Si. B-But I just didn’t want to lose my job. They just laughed at me and made a joke of it.”
“Pieces of shit,” he hisses, pressing a kiss against your temple, “They better hope I don’t find them.”
You’d really love to see them blubbering on their knees, crying and terrified like you had been. They wouldn’t be so awful in the face of a guy bigger and stronger than them – someone like Simon.
“I should have gone to the bar tonight,” he sighed, “Even though you told me not to, I wanted to.”
“It’s okay, Si,” you sniffle, “I’m just glad you’re here now.”
You wrap your leg around his waist and snuggle deeper into his chest, finally feeling content to sleep so long as you got to be in his arms.
You wake up late, well into the afternoon. You’re groggy and struggle to pull yourself out of bed. Simon isn’t in bed, so you force yourself up in search of him.
As you left, you noticed that the clothes you were wearing last night were gone and weren’t in the laundry basket. You knew for a fact that you left them on the floor.
He’s relaxing on the couch as usual. His hair is wet and you can smell your body wash wafting off of him when you crawl onto the couch beside him. He reaches a hand out and pets your head gently as a greeting.
“Sleep well?” he asks. You nod your head, “Hungry?” You nod again.
He huffs through his nose and stands up, pressing a fleeting kiss to the top of your head to go prepare something for you to eat. The sound of Simon bustling about the kitchen filled the apartment and you found yourself relaxing into the couch.
“Simon?” you called, getting to your feet to make your way to the kitchen.
He had his back to you as he fried up something in the pan but he hummed in response nonetheless.
“Where did my clothes from last night go?” you ask softly.
He pauses his stirring of the food, “Threw them out. Figured you wouldn’t want to see them when you woke up.”
“Oh,” you respond.
Your heart feels full at his show of care. It was quiet actions like that that just made you feel so…in love, you think before correcting yourself. Fluttery. Cared for. Loved.
No, he doesn’t love you.
You shake your head and move to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water, going to sit on the couch to wait for Simon to finish cooking.
The day was spent like that, just you and Simon in your flat. Him just keeping you company and keeping your mind off of things.
You were curled up against him, listening to the beating of his heart and watching the movie he had decided to play. It was peaceful. He smelled nice, like you. And he was so comfortable beneath you, firm and big.
His thighs were spread wide, one of your legs thrown over one of his, only serving to make you more aware of how big and firm he was. Solid. Well-built.
Handsome.
You cast a glance at his face. His brown eyes were half-lidded as he mindlessly nibbled at his bottom lip. They looked soft and shiny. You wondered what he tasted like, how he kissed.
Was he rough? Soft? Did he like to use tongue.
You’d never kissed anyone before. You wondered if he would be okay with that. You knew some guys liked experienced partners and some liked them inexperienced. You wonder what he preferred.
Just the idea of kissing him had your heart hammering in your chest and your face burning. You quickly looked at the TV, snuggling closer to him. He squeezed you closer, hand mindlessly rubbing up and down your back.
Kissing Simon…you pictured him over you, cupping your cheeks in the way he always does. You imagine him pressing his pretty lips against yours, moving them softly against yours. You imagine what it would feel like for him to pin you down, sliding his tongue into your mouth as you moaned and whimpered beneath him, unable to move anywhere because he’s so much bigger and stronger than you. In charge.
Your pussy clenches around nothing, already starting to drip into your panties. Suddenly you sit up, eyes wide and cheeks flush. Simon looks perturbed, an eyebrow raised at your sudden movement.
“I’ve got to take a shower,” you shakily supply before fleeing to the safety of the bathroom.
You look at yourself in the mirror, hand over your mouth to quiet your heavy breathing.
What the hell was wrong with you? How the hell could you be thinking about sex and getting turned on after yesterday? How could you be thinking about Simon like that when he was right there? What the fuck was your problem?
You hastily reached over and turned the shower on, the pipes clanking loudly as the water flowed through them.
Shouldn’t you be the opposite of horny after what happened yesterday? Maybe you really were broken.
You strip and quickly step into the shower, turning the water as hot as it would possibly go. You needed it to hurt so you would stop acting like such a freak. Like a slut.
You fight back tears as you begin to wash up.
By the time your shower is done, you’re exhausted again. You dry off and wrap the towel around yourself, opening the door to find Simon standing on the other side. You jump and gasp, placing a hand over your heart to calm the beating.
“You scared me!” you whine, slipping past him to the bedroom.
“Wanted to check on you,” he says, following slowly behind you, watching as you pick out clothes.
“I’m fine,” you assure him, “I just got really tired and I’d like to turn in early, that’s all.”
“Alright,” he replies, standing there for a second before making his way back to the door, “Just call if you need anything.”
“I will!” you offer him a smile, watching as he leaves, closing the door behind him.
You quickly dress and climb into bed, turning the lights out before squeezing your eyes shut to will yourself to sleep. Surprisingly, it came quickly and easily – maybe you were more tired than you thought.
Little did you know that Simon took the opportunity of you sleeping early to slip away and take a little 15 minute walk.
When you start to dream, you’re acutely aware that it’s a dream. You’re not sure how but, you just know that you’re sleeping and none of this is real.
But god it feels real and you want it to be real so you go along with it.
Simon is there, you’re both in your bed. He’s got his shirt off and he’s on top of you, kissing your neck softly. Sweetly.
He doesn’t smell like your body wash anymore, he smells like his – a crisp, musky scent that you love so dearly. And he’s so warm against you.
You realize that you’re only wearing a pair of panties when his lips suddenly attach to your breast, mouthing at your nipple. His tongue swirls over the bud and it feels so good you can’t help but moan.
“Si…” you sigh, reaching down to run your fingers through his hair. He rewards you by surging up and pressing his lips against yours. He tastes vaguely like mint and it’s intoxicating. So simple, nothing special or poetic. Just mint. Simon.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders and eagerly kiss him back. Kissing is easy, you hazily think. You just move your lips in time with his and it falls into place.
Simon’s hips move against yours and you cry out when you feel the hard swell of his cock press against you through his sweatpants and your panties. He’s so hard and it's so hot even through the layers of clothes.
“Si…” you whimper again.
“I’m here, love,” he coos, “I’ve got you.”
He rocks his hips against yours and fuck, it feels good. You eagerly spread your legs and find yourself wishing that the panties weren’t in the way. You’d love to hear the sticky sound of your pussy against his cock through his sweats. You’d love to see the stain of your slick against them, knowing that you marked him as yours like that.
You feel hot, that tense warmth growing in your tummy. The promise of pleasure that you’ve never been able to experience. Maybe Simon could supply it. You’re sure he could, actually, you convince yourself.
If he just keeps going, keeps rutting his hips like that, you could cum all messy in your panties. Just for him. Only for him.
Just as you swear it’s going to wash over you, your eyes fly open and you gasp. Your entire body feels hot and sweaty and you realize you’ve thrown your blanket off of your body. The sun is shining through the window and Simon is nowhere to be seen in bed.
You swallow, your throat feeling painfully dry.
Suddenly, the bedroom door creaks open and Simon comes in with a laundry basket. He casts a glance at you and seems to relax when he realizes you’re awake.
“Was doin’ some laundry,” he explains, turning to open your drawers to begin putting the clean clothes away.
“Oh,” you whisper, sounding hoarse, “Thank you, Si.”
As you watch him, you realize he seems tenser than usual. You sit up and bed and watch him put the clothes away until he’s finished. He stands there for a moment before looking over his shoulder at you.
“I uh,” he clears his throat, “I’ve gotta go tonight.”
“Go?” you ask, eyes going wide. You don’t want him to leave, “Go where?”
“I’ve got some work to take care of,” he replies, “Paperwork I’ve been puttin’ off. Gonna pull a late one to get it done.”
“I-I don’t want you to go,” you confess softly, trying to blink back the tears that sting your eyes. You feel so pathetic, crying because he needs to leave. But you haven’t been without him since it happened and you’re scared to be alone with just your thoughts.
“I know,” he hums, taking a seat at the foot of the bed, cupping your cheek, “I’ll just be a call away, you know. If you need me, I’ll be there.”
“Promise?” you ask. He nods, teasingly pinching your cheek before you smile and bat his hand away. When he pulls it back you notice his knuckles – bruised and split open. They weren’t like that last night you were sure of it, “Simon…”
He catches you looking and gives you a tense smile, “Don’t worry about it.”
He stands up and kisses your forehead before turning and leaving the room, leaving you to get ready for the day.
Thankfully, Simon remains around for the day. You notice he’s on his phone a lot more, typing away. It’s unlike him, he’s more the type to do phone calls rather than text. When you ask him about it he just waves you off with an explanation about Soap being on his ass.
You have a feeling he’s lying but you don’t pry.
Before he leaves, he makes you dinner. You walk him to the door, unable to stop the pout on your face when he puts his boots on. You can’t help but wish that he’d change his mind at the last second and stay with you after all.
But he doesn’t. He pulls his balaclava over his face and slips his hood up before turning back to you.
“Don’t cry, love,” he coos, wiping a stray tear away, “I promise I’ll get all my work done and I’ll be all yours for a good long while.”
“Okay…” you sound so miserable but you can’t bring yourself to care, “I’ll miss you.”
He brings you in for a hug, making sure to squeeze you nice and tight before he pulls back. He can’t give you his normal kiss because of the mask and that only makes you sadder.
You don’t want him to go. You don’t want him to go. You want him to stay. You want to keep him close. He makes you feel safe. He makes you feel complete. You love him so much.
You hold onto his hoodie for as long as you can until he has to shake you off and close the door behind him. And you stand there for a long time. Like a puppy who's been left home alone for the first time, just waiting for its owners to come back because it’s scared it’s going to be alone forever.
By the time you bring yourself to leave the door, the food Simon made you is cold. That only seems to make you feel worse.
Then you sit on the couch and watch TV, feeling hopelessly alone. You wished you had Simon to curl into and snuggle with. The tiny couch has never felt bigger.
You shower and brush your teeth, pouting at the sight of his toothbrush, another reminder that he isn’t there.
Before that night at the bar, you never would have felt so isolated without him; lonely, sure. But now that you’re experiencing this gut-wrenching emptiness, you feel close to tears every time you think about him. He was truly your rock, the only thing that brought you comfort. You loved him.
You flop against the bed and let the tears fall down your temples. You love him. You do.
You’re so fucking in love with him that it hurts. Your heart aches in your chest. You want him there to hold you.
You know he doesn’t feel the same, you know it will never become anything. But you’re willing to take whatever you can get. Just his company. You can be content so long as he’s with you, as long as he’s in your life.
But you can think about him, imagine yourself telling him how you feel. Imagine that when he holds you close that he feels the same too. That he loves you. You want him to love you so desperately.
You wish that he loved you.
You curled into his pillow, sniffling pathetically as you closed your eyes. You cry yourself to sleep.
Your eyes fly open and the gasp you let out changes to a sob. All you can hear is your heart pounding in your ears. All you see is flashes of their faces in your head. All you can feel are their hands on you.
A nightmare, your brain supplies but it does nothing to quell your anxiety and fear.
You reach for Simon, instinctive and desperate. But you only touch the cold mattress and you’re reminded that he isn’t home tonight.
You fumble through the sheets to find your phone.
I’ll just be a call away, you know. If you need me, I’ll be there.
He promised.
You can barely see the screen as you look for his contact. You call him, hands trembling as you hold it to your ear. It rings and rings and rings. Then beeps and goes to voicemail.
You hang up and try again. And again. And again.
He doesn’t answer. Why won’t he answer? He promised.
You call him again but it goes straight to voicemail. You can practically feel your heart shatter in your chest. He was ignoring your calls. He ignored you.
But he had promised he would come when you needed him. And you needed him.
Your phone becomes completely blurry through your tears as you begin to cry in earnest. You feel hurt, betrayed, disappointed, and angry. You’re fucking angry.
You suddenly need to let it out. So you take your phone in your hand and throw it, listening to it slam against the wall. It’s loud and the light on your screen goes out. But you don’t feel better. You’re still a mess of volatile emotions. It feels like it’s all bottled up inside you and it hurts.
You take his pillow and grip it in your fists. You want to rip it to shreds, want to tear it open and release all your anger on it. Instead, you just slam your fists against it.
Then you do it again. And again. And again.
You punch the damned thing as you cry and cry. You’re sure you must be a sight. You must be making so much noise as you sob and shriek.
You were angry at what happened to you, you were angry you had apologize to them for hurting you, you were angry because you couldn’t even sleep peacefully without being plagued by a nightmare the first night you were without Simon, and you were angry he broke his fucking promise.
Before long, all you were doing was sobbing into his pillow – wailing and crying your broken heart out. You tire yourself out, completely exhausted of all emotions. You lay there, quietly hiccuping and sniffling, just staring into the inky darkness.
You’re there for hours, unable to fall back asleep. The sun slowly creeps over the horizon and begins to cast an orange glow around the room.
You can’t even find beauty in it. You’re so exhausted. Your heart aches. It’s agonizing.
It’s early morning by the time you hear your front door open. You don’t feel excited to see him. You’re not happy he’s back. You don’t feel anything, actually. All you can do is slowly blink, gaze focused outside the window where you can faintly hear birds chirping.
You wish you were a bird so you could fly away wherever you want. You would fly away from here right now if you could. You wanted to leave.
You didn’t want to see Simon. You were so angry at him. You’ve never felt like this about him before. You don’t know what to do. All you can think right now is how much you hate him.
God, you hate him.
He’s surprisingly quiet as he walks through your apartment. You hear him push the door open, your back to him. But you can feel his eyes on you, can feel how he hovers in the doorway.
He wanders further into the room before pausing.
He rounds to your side of the bed and sees that you’re awake, simply staring out the window. He holds your phone up, screen clearly shattered before he places it on the table beside you.
“You called,” he says softly, shifting anxiously on his feet. Simon’s never anxious. But he is right now, “I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I was just…busy. Had some unruly recruits, you know how it is.”
Your eyes finally move from the window, landing on him. He’s wearing the same thing he was last night. Just some jeans and white t-shirt. It’s a nice one, it fits him well and it looks comfy.
Simon stands there under your gaze, growing increasingly uncomfortable. He’s not used to feeling scrutinized. And that’s exactly what your gaze feels like.
Your eyes wander to a strange discoloration on his shirt. It’s tan, just a light stain. There’s a tiny smear of black as well. Then you spot the red on his collar, ruby red.
He looks guilty. He would look like a kicked puppy if you didn’t know any better. This isn’t guilt because he missed your call. He’s guilty because he was too busy getting his dick wet to answer you.
That’s why he ignored you? To fuck someone?
You’re no longer numb. You’re angry again. That overwhelming feeling that you have no idea how to let out. It’s like it just boils up inside you, like a pot boiling over. It has no place to go but out.
You’re moving before you even have a chance to register it. You just need to show him how angry you are. Fucking furious.
You grab the empty glass on your nightstand and wail it in his direction harder than you thought possible. Simon barely dodges, slamming himself against the wall as it shatters behind him.
Now he looks angry. Good. Maybe he’ll feel a fraction of what you feel right now.
“Are you out of your fucking head?” he snarls, animosity dripping off of every syllable.
You don’t even answer, grabbing a book that you have stacked there before throwing that too. Then the second book. Then the third book. Then you throw your phone at him. Then you take the lamp, rip the plug right from the wall and throw that too.
When you’re out of things to throw on the table you throw your pillow. It’s when you’re about to throw his pillow that he finally has enough. He rips it from your grasp and tosses it across the room.
He’s standing there, fists balled at his sides and his shoulders heaving up and down as he tries to calm himself.
“I hate you,” you finally spit, standing on your knees. You don’t have anything to throw so you slam your hands against his chest. You hit him, crying and sobbing as you wail over and over about how you hate him. You hate him so fucking much.
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” you scream. You’re so loud you’re sure the neighbors can hear but you don’t care. It feels good to let your anger out on him, to punch and slap and claw at his shoulders, chest, and arms. He doesn’t do anything but stand there and let you. He’d never lay a hand on you, even when you’re doing it to him, “I needed you and you were too busy fucking some stupid whore?!”
He doesn’t say anything but he’s trembling now. You’re not sure if he’s just that angry or if he’s holding himself back from wringing your neck.
You pause to look up at him. His jaw is set hard but he’s staring at you, his usual lazy, lidded look nowhere to be found. He looks enraged.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” you spit, raising your hand as if you’re going to slap him across the face but you stop. You don’t want to do that.
“Say what?” he finally responds, voice so cold you swear it drops the room’s temperature, “I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you. That’s the difference between us. You need me but I don’t need you.”
You sit back on your heels at that, the hurt clear on your face. Simon doesn’t seem to care in the slightest now, as tears trickle down your face. You must look a sight, pathetically gazing up at him as he glares down at you like you’re dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.
“You hate me?” he scoffs, “That’s just fine. We’ll see how long you last without me before you’re hanging from a bloody rope.”
He turns on his heel at that and storms out of your room, slamming your bedroom door behind him. It practically rattles the walls. Then you hear the same thing from the front door.
And you’re all alone. And you can’t do anything but cry about it.
You find it impossible to get out of bed after that. You lay there for the rest of the day. Then all night. You fitfully sleep when you can’t bear to be awake anymore and then wake when the nightmares hit.
Then you watch the sun come up and decide that it’s a good day to spend in bed. So you do. You sleep on and off, only waking to cry when you’re plagued with nightmares.
You occasionally think about Simon. More than occasionally, actually. He’s always on your mind.
You think everything over and come to the conclusion that this was all your fault. From the beginning, really. You’d been keen on staying in his life since you were children, attached yourself to his side and weaseled your way into his life. Really, you gave him no choice but to put up with you.
He was everything to you. He was right, you needed him. You didn’t have anyone else. No friends, no family, not even a pet. Just him. Always just him.
What choice did he have other than to put up with you day after day? He didn’t need you like you needed him, after all. He’d surely been spending his days in dread of you – of your texts, your calls.
This was probably what he was waiting for; an escape. He probably wanted to leave a long, long time ago. You were in love with him and he wanted nothing to do with you.
What were you thinking? Actually believing that he would want to spend his days with you, taking care of you. Who were you kidding, you were just an idiot for letting yourself believe otherwise.
You wake up one day and realize you’re not angry anymore. Just sad. You almost prefer the anger and emptiness compared to the unending waves of sadness.
You cry all the time. Day and night.
You try to use your phone, you want to call him but it’s broken. The screen won’t even turn on. You’re completely alone, can’t even contact somebody – not that you have anyone but him.
God, that was embarrassing now that you thought about it. There he was going out and getting laid and you’ve been holding out for him since you were a kid.
You’re suddenly aware of the fact you haven’t showered in days. You’ve barely eaten, only getting up once or twice to find something to nibble on in the kitchen – a slice of bread is what you usually settle on.
You pry yourself up from your mattress and stumble to the bathroom. The clanging of pipes is louder than it’s ever been but the hot water is completely welcome.
When you stand there, under the burning heat that makes your skin raw, you slowly sink to the shower floor. You haven’t cleaned it in a while but you can’t bring yourself to care.
You let yourself cry again, since it’s all you can do. By the time you’re done, the water is running cold and you stand up to quickly wash yourself with soap so you can at least be clean for the next few days until you can bring yourself to shower again.
It’s when you’re crawling into bed that it suddenly dawns on you that you don’t have a job. You hadn’t shown up to your shift in days. And you don’t have Simon anymore.
Panic takes shape and you realize you can’t relax. If you don’t find a job soon you’re going to be on your ass and homeless by next month.
You haul yourself out of bed and begin rooting through your drawers for something to wear.
Maybe you can go back to the bar and beg for your job back. You’ll do anything if you have to.
You’re going to prove to yourself and to Simon that you’ll make it without him – and you won’t end up hanging from a fucking rope.
The sunlight practically burns your skin from not feeling it in a while. Winter is coming in and it’s already damn cold out and you can see your breath. But you ignore it, wrapping your jacket tighter around yourself as you book it for the bar.
You’re filled with utter dread as soon as you open the door. There’s a couple patrons already drinking and you wonder what day it is.
You look around, searching for your old boss. He’s nowhere on the floor so you make your way to the staff room and ultimately his office in the very back.
You only realize you’re trembling when you raise your hand to knock on the door. But you bite back your fear when you’re reminded that you need the job. You need it.
“Enter,” you hear his chilling voice call. You take a breath and push the door open. He freezes the second he lays eyes on you, he sports a black eye and a busted lip, “You.”
“M-Mr. Dawson,” you shakily whisper, “I-I know I haven’t showed up in a few days and I’m really sorry but–”
“You want your job back,” he finishes, tossing his head back to laugh, “You want your fucking job back? After you sent that fucking lunatic here?”
“Sent who…?” you ask softly, willing your knees to stop quaking.
“That asshole in the skull mask. Beat the shit out of me and my blasted customers. You think I’m going to let you back in after that?” he laughs again, “You’re out of your fucking mind, you dumb bitch.”
You wince at the insult, “I-I didn’t send him. H-He was a friend of mine and he did it on his own but–”
“You can have your job back,” he says suddenly, making you freeze, “If you come over here and bend over my desk for me.”
“What..?” you ask softly, watching him sit back and lick his lips as his eyes raked down your body.
“You heard me,” he snickers, “Bend over my desk and let me fuck you and I’ll let you have your job back.”
Granted, for a second, you think about it. You really do. To just let him do it. But you can’t. You know you can't, you would never do that to yourself.
“N-No,” you find yourself whispering, “I won’t do that…”
His smile fades quickly when you say that and his lip curls in disgust and anger, “Should have let those blokes take you out back and leave you bloody in the alleyway like you deserve.”
You leave with your head hanging low and find yourself standing on the street, fighting tears. You only feel worse than before you went in.
When you get home, you stand there and cry. That’s all you’ve been doing lately, crying. At this rate, Simon’s prophecy is going to come true and you’re going to be hanging from a damn rope. It sounds nice right about now, actually. Anything to stop the horrific pain that you feel.
You crawl back into bed and don’t get back up that night. Or the next day.
The only thing that gets you up the day after that is a painful twang in your stomach. You stumble your way to the kitchen and pull out the loaf of bread you’ve been nibbling at but frown when you see some pieces have begun to mold.
You take a look in the fridge, finding it painfully empty. The vegetables and fruits that were in there have gone bad now. The meat you had bought was all used up from when Simon cooked. You didn’t even have any cup ramens because you opted to not buy any last time.
So you resort yourself to tearing the moldy parts off the bread and eating what's left.
As you stand there, you realize you feel so tired. Like your legs can’t hold you up, so you allow yourself to sink to the floor, back leaning against the cabinet.
You almost want to laugh at yourself over what you’ve become. Eating moldy bread on the kitchen floor and crying to yourself.
You place the bread in the refrigerator in hopes that that will stop its rotting process but you don’t have much hope.
Then, you’re back in bed. And you’re so exhausted. It’s impossible to keep your eyes open any longer. So you sleep.
But then you have another nightmare. You can’t even remember what it was about, you’re too exhausted to even jolt awake like you usually do.
Instead, your eyes open and they’re already filled with tears before you even get the chance to register the fact you’re awake.
So you lay like that. For a long time. Just staring at nothing. The tears stop on their own and you’re left exhausted as usual. It’s become your default state and you begin to wonder if you’re going to feel this broken and hurt forever.
You zone out, letting your mind go hazy and erase all thoughts from it.
You don’t even hear your front door open. Don’t hear the boots on the floor. Don’t hear your bedroom door open.
You hear a call of your name and that gets your attention. But you don’t hear anything else.
Your imagination? You don’t have a lamp anymore to turn on. You’d thrown it at Simon and it broke.
Suddenly, light floods your bedroom and you bolt up in bed. A large, familiar figure blocks your doorway, a silhouette against the now illuminated hallway.
He calls your name again and your heart skips a beat.
“Si?” you whisper, choking on a sob when he steps further into the room.
He’s got you gathered up in his arms faster than you can think. He’s so warm and it feels so good to have him in your arms again. You wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him – hold him so fiercely that you’re worried you may actually break him.
“Shh,” he coos into your ear, “It’s alright, everything’s alright.”
“S-Simon…” you can’t help but wail, clawing at the back of his hoodie as if you can feel him any closer than he already was.
“I’m here,” he sighs, kissing the top of your head, “I’m here. It’s okay. Shit, just let it out. I fucked up, sweetheart, I did. Just breathe and we’ll make everything better, alright?”
“I’m sorry,” you find yourself apologizing through tears, “I-I don’t hate you, Si. I don’t, I promise. I-I was just mad. I’m sorry I was mean.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” he consoles you, cupping the back of your head as you sob, “I’m the one who fucked everything up. It was a fuckin’ mistake.”
You can’t even formulate a response, too choked up with your cries that you let out into the soft cotton of his hoodie. You feel nothing but relief at having him in your arms again, you’re almost scared that he’s going to disappear if you let go.
But he stays there, shushing you and occasionally kissing the top of your head as he rocks you back and forth on the bed.
Before long, your cries finally quiet and you’re left curled up against him, quietly sniffling to yourself. His grip on you remains firm, unwilling to let you go.
After several, long minutes, he finally speaks, “Why don’t you go wash up, hm? Nice, hot, shower. I’ll fix you up some food, sound good?”
You sniffle and blearily look up at him, your lashes sticking together from your dried tears, “I don’t have anything.”
“I’ll make you some ramen cups,” he responds.
He doesn’t like them being part of your diet but it seems he was willing to overlook it just this once so could get something on your stomach.
“Don’t have any,” you sound completely congested as you talk, sitting up a little to wipe your cheeks.
“None?” he asks, keeping his hands on your body even as you move off of his lap.
You shake your head, “I didn’t buy any last time I went shopping.”
“What the hell have you been eating then?” he mumbles, slowly standing up from the bed.
You wince when you hear his knees and back pop from the movement, “I haven’t had much of an appetite but I’ve got some bread…”
Simon is silent after that, nonsensically looking around the room, seemingly taking stock of what's around him. Then he sighs, running a hand through his cropped hair before patting you on the head.
“I’ll order then,” he assures you, “Go ahead and shower, yeah?”
You do as you’re told, eager to wash the drying tears off of your face and hopefully wash away the lingering sadness. You know that you and Simon have a lot to talk about, but you figure it can wait until you’re both mentally prepared for it.
You feel more refreshed than you have in days when you step out of the shower. You feel a surge of anxiety in your chest when you think maybe he had left while you were showering but when you pause to really listen, you can hear him shuffling about the flat.
When you slip into your bedroom, you’re shocked to see that your bed has been completely stripped. He also swept up the broken remnants of the glass and lamp you had thrown at him and picked up the books. He had picked up some scattered pieces of clothes and put them in the laundry basket where they belonged.
You get yourself dressed and place your dirty clothes in the basket so you don’t undo the work that Simon had done.
You hear a knock on your door and it makes you jump but Simon quickly answers it. He calls your name to let you know the food has arrived and you quickly make your way to the kitchen.
He’s methodically separating the food he had ordered into two separate groups, clearly having ordered for himself as well.
It smells positively delicious and you find your mouth watering as your stomach growls.
You turn to the fridge, opening it to grab a bottle of water out of it. You notice that the loaf of bread you had in there is gone, most likely thrown out by Simon when he realized it was moldy.
You feel your cheeks burn in shame when you imagine him knowing that you had been eating moldy bread because you couldn’t afford to buy groceries – although, even if you had all the money in the world, you were sure you wouldn’t have felt like going out to get any. You wouldn’t have been able to order since you’d broken your phone.
You open the styrofoam tray and immediately start devouring the chicken tenders he had ordered for you. It was simple, easy, and tasty. He clearly didn’t want to order you anything too hefty given the fact you’ve been existing on bread.
He had a burger, taking slow bites of it and occasionally nibbling at his fries. You took the opportunity to look him over.
He honestly looked the same as ever. He didn’t have dark circles or bags under his eyes like you did. He didn’t have red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes from crying for days. For some reason that made a pang of resentment surge through you. He seemed completely unbothered by everything that had happened. Unbothered, even.
His words ring out through your head like a bell.
“We’ll see how long you last without me before you’re hanging from a bloody rope.”
Tears sting the back of your eyes again but you bite them back, choosing to take a bite of your french fries. You realize now that you can hear the washing machine going. Clearly, he had put your bedding in there to wash.
Maybe he was right, you couldn’t survive without him. Couldn’t even wash your own damn laundry.
“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” he interrupts your self-deprecating thoughts.
“Oh, um,” you scramble to think of what to say. Something not depressing or something that could upset him, “I was just wondering what you’ve been up to these few days!”
You try your hardest to sound chipper and interested. You’re positive he doesn’t buy the act in the slightest from the soft, pained look he gives you. But he thankfully plays along. You’re grateful because you don’t want to cry again.
“I was uh,” he cleared his throat and took a sip of water, “I was on base, actually. Nothin’ interesting, really. What, uh, what about you?”
You feel your smile falter and you look down at your food, “Nothing interesting. Tried to get my job back but that was a bust,” you chuckled, playing it off like a goofy anecdote, “Turns out your ex-boss doesn’t like when he gets beat to shit because of you!”
Simon drops his burger into his tray and his nonchalant expression turns sour in half a second, “You tried to go back to work at that shithole? Why the fuck would you do that? You know it’s not good for you!”
All over again, you feel your body flush with anger, and you’re shouting at him before you know it, “What the fuck was I supposed to do, Simon?! You left and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do without you. I assumed you were gone forever,” you voice pathetically broke but you ignored it, tearfully glaring at him, “All you said was that I was gonna end up killing myself and I was doing everything in my power to prove you wrong.”
“You should have known me better than that!” he shouted, slamming his hands on the countertop, “I never would have left you–”
“That’s exactly what you did!” you shriek, pointing an accusing finger at him, “You left me! You ignored me when I needed you to go get laid and then left like I was nothing to you! Look at you for fuck’s sake, I’m a fucking wreck and you look like you couldn’t have fared better! I almost let that scumbag fuck me just to get my fucking job back, Simon! All because you left me.”
For once in his life, Simon seems utterly lost for words. The only sound in the small kitchen was the steady dripping of your leaky sink and you’re stuttering, sharp breaths as you force yourself to not break down all over again.
“I should have known you better?” you whisper, resting your hands on the countertop, hanging your head so you can catch your breath, “Apparently I should have. Maybe then I would have known better to depend on you like that.”
Simon stands there, across the counter from you but feeling like he was miles away. You could hear his breathing stutter every few seconds, like he was gearing up to say something but he seemingly changed his mind every time.
The washing machine jingle rang through the apartment and he immediately stepped away.
Typical. Simon was never the type to truly let himself be emotionally vulnerable so there was no reason for you to expect it now.
With him out of the room, you took the chance to wind yourself down, taking a few more bites of your tenders. You could hear Simon moving the laundry to the dryer, slamming it closed before turning it on.
But he doesn’t reappear, evidently hiding out in the tiny room off the kitchen where your washer and dryer were. He was probably collecting himself just like you. But he appears a second later, lingering out of the corner of your eye. You can see him looking at you but you can’t bear to look back at him.
“I didn’t…” he pauses, taking a breath, “I wasn’t…” he lets out a sound of frustration before he tries again, “I wasn’t okay while I was gone.”
He doesn’t say anything more. It was evident that that was all he was willing to give up in the moment. But you want more from him, you need more.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to get past this, Simon,” you whisper, “Everything’s so fucked up. I’m fucked up.”
“I am too,” he says softly, drumming his fingers against the counter, “We’ll fix it.”
His assurance marks the end of the conversation and you both resume eating the dinner he had ordered. But it’s silent and neither of you make an attempt to fill it.
Once the food is eaten, you take a seat on the couch, knees pulled up to your chest as Simon takes your laundry basket from your bedroom and puts the clothes in the washer.
Your eyelids feel heavy and you wish so desperately that you could crawl into bed and sleep. You suddenly realize that you have no idea what time it is.
“Simon?” you call out when you catch him passing by. He stops at your calling, raising an inquisitive brow, “What time is it?”
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocking it so he can see, “9:20.”
“Oh…” you respond, tucking your head back into your knees.
Simon walks away at that and you briefly wonder what he’s doing now. But your eyelids are so heavy and you’re finding it so hard to think clearly.
You’re pulled from your sleep a soft hand petting over your head. Your eyes slowly drift open and you’re met with Simon’s sweet, brown eyes.
“Made your bed,” he says so softly, thumbing over your cheek, “Go ahead and get some proper sleep.”
You nod your head and sit up, briefly wondering how you managed to flop over on your side without waking up. Simon takes your hands and helps you to your feet.
You stumble down the hallway and immediately toss yourself onto your bed. You don’t even bother to crawl under the blanket, simply drop your head onto the pillow and let sleep overcome you.
When you wake up next, it’s from a nightmare. You gasp into consciousness, eyes wide open in the inky blackness of your bedroom. Your heart pounds in your ears and you find yourself panting, trying to stabilize yourself.
A heavy weight tosses itself over your middle and you almost panic before you smell Simon’s cologne. Immediately, you relax and sink back into the bed.
“You’re okay,” he whispers, voice thick with sleep, “I’ve got you.”
“I want it to stop,” you find yourself whispering, feeling so utterly exhausted, “The nightmares.”
Simon tugs you over to him, tucking you securely against his chest, his arm like a heavy weight draped across your abdomen, “We’ll get you fixed up.”
As you close your eyes and sink into his embrace, all you can think is that you should have never been broken in the first place.
You finally sleep through the night but you wake up feeling far from refreshed. What’s most shocking is that you’re still wrapped up in Simon’s arms – and he’s still asleep. The sun is well risen now, he should have been up and about a while ago. He never strays from his schedule.
You find yourself staring at him. It wasn’t often that you got the chance to see him so peaceful. His lashes were so long, brushing his cheeks. You rest your head against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart and the deep sound of his breathing. Your eyes slowly drift closed again and you let yourself drift off to sleep once more.
When you wake up next, it’s because Simon is trying to carefully move you off of his chest so he can get up. You whine and find yourself clinging to him again.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he mutters, settling back against the headboard. He wraps his arms around you and lets you melt against him again, your head resting against his chest.
“You slept late,” you find yourself commenting.
“Yeah, uh,” he clears his throat and softly rubs your back, “I haven’t had the chance to sleep much. Base is pretty loud.”
You want to mention that it’s never been a problem for him before but you bite it back. Instead, you hum in response.
As you’re left in the still quietness of the late morning with him, you realize that you still have no idea how you feel about him. You don’t know how you feel about him being back. On one hand, you’ve missed him so, so dearly and you feel so complete with him by your side. You feel safer and more whole, like you could actually start healing again.
But on the other hand, there feels like there’s a wall separating you two. The fight you two had is a heavy weight that seems to continuously pull you under the water despite how hard you fight to resurface for air.
You love him, you really do.
But you’re still so angry at him.
And it feels like neither of you are going to actually talk about it properly.
The two of you eventually make it out of bed and get moving around. You still don’t have any groceries but Simon simply orders something for breakfast again.
“Somethin’ I need to ask you,” he says, suddenly terrifyingly serious as the two of you stand in the kitchen eating.
Anxiety flares through you but you try to appear calm and cool, “About?”
“You said that,” he takes a second to collect himself, seemingly searching for the right words, “You almost slept with that guy for your job back.”
Your heart dropped to your stomach, “Yeah…what about it?”
Simon paused when he heard the defensiveness in your voice, “You really almost did that?”
You frown, “So what? I can do what I want, Simon.”
He sighs softly, holding his hands up, “I’m not tryin’ to fight, love.”
“I don’t know why it’s your business,” you mumble, using annoyance to hide the shame you feel, “I just needed a job is all.”
He nods, “You don’t need to worry about that, alright. I’ve got you.”
You take a bite of your sandwich, intent on trying to take the attention off of you, “There’s something I wanted to ask you too.”
“Go ahead,” he says softly, sipping on the drink he ordered – some kind of soda if you had to guess.
“That night…” you start, pausing when you notice the way he stiffens immediately. He plays it off by going back to his food, “You, um, you left to hook up with someone, right?”
He places his sandwich down and sighs, “Yeah.”
“...Why?” you finally ask, “I mean…”
You trail off and Simon remains silent. The tension is so thick you could practically see it between the two of you. Your heart hammers in your chest, anxiety steadily festering the longer he’s quiet. You think he isn’t going to respond at all and start to give up, hanging your head.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he finally says, “It was a…last minute choice and it shouldn’t have happened.”
He says it but you don’t feel any relief. That concrete weight on your chest isn’t eased in the slightest. It’s an excuse, something he’s saying to get you off his back. And that doesn’t feel good.
“I um…” you clear your throat to get rid of the way it sounds thick, “I’m sorry for that time, by the way. When I was throwing things and I-I hit you. I shouldn’t have done that, it was wrong of me. So, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” he says softly, shrugging his shoulders dismissively, “You were upset.”
“Simon…” you mumble, food completely forgotten in front of you, “I want to talk. About everything,” Simon seems annoyed immediately but he tries to hide it. You know him too well for that, though, “I-It was a lot and I think we should talk about it – really talk about it.”
He says your name exasperatedly, turning to open the fridge so he can put his leftover food inside before he slams the door. “I don’t want to talk about anything.”
“But I do,” you say, following him as he storms out of the kitchen, “You said some really mean shit, Si. I want to talk about it!”
He storms into the bedroom, slamming it open as he busies himself with picking up inside. You can tell he’s uncomfortable and simply trying to take his mind off of it. But you’re not going to let him avoid it.
“I don’t,” he snaps, final and harsh.
“I do!” you argue again, “I-I want to know why you said that to me. I want to know how you could–”
“Fuck sake!” he hisses through clenched teeth, ripping his hoodie off of a chair he had tossed it onto.
He pushes past you, tugging it over his head. You follow him out of the room, watching with wide eyes as he picks up his mask from the coffee table. He tugs it on, painfully silent as he fits it into place.
“What are you doing?” you finally ask when he gets to the door, slipping his boots on with a grunt, “Where are you going?”
“Out.” he growls, jerking the door open so hard it rattles on its hinges.
“Don’t run from me, Simon!” you cry, grabbing hold of his sleeve to keep him from stepping out, “Are you ever going to tell me you're sorry? Are you ever going to look in my eyes and tell me that you're sorry for what you said to me? For leaving me? Or are you just going to do it again?”
You can’t fight the tears as you cry out, trying to tug him back into the apartment. But he gives you one final look before he rips his arm from your grasp and slams the door in your face. You’re left alone again, frustrated, sad and utterly confused.
You wished he would stop leaving.
You decide to stay up a little later than you had lately, waiting for him to come home. The oven clock read a little past midnight when you finally called it and crawled into bed. Tugging his pillow to your side, you wrapped yourself around it and tried to imagine that it was him in your arms again. Closing your eyes, you will yourself to fall asleep, no matter how much you want to stay up and wait.
You’re jostled awake by the weight shifting on the bed. Your eyes flutter open as it creaked under the additional weight. You know it’s Simon, even though your back is to him. He remains silent, clearly trying not to wake you and unaware that he already has.
The heat radiates off of him in waves, comforting and nice. But despite that, you feel tears welling up until they finally trickle down your cheeks. You can hear Simon’s soft breathing and you can feel him shift every once in a while as he tries to sleep.
“I can’t do this, Simon,” you find yourself whispering. It’s quiet but you know he hears it, “I want to feel better again. I want to stop being so fucking angry at you but you won’t let me. You just leave me again and I want you to stop. I want…” you suck in a breath and find yourself struggling to continue, simply dissolving into cries. You quiet them as best you can into your pillow.
Simon is painfully silent and still. You’re positive he’s not going to say anything. He’s going to pretend to sleep so he can avoid talking about it because that’s what he does best – avoid. When things get too hard or emotional, he avoids it like the plague.
You suppose it’s from the way he grew up. A mama’s boy who was punished by his father for showing any kind of emotional vulnerability. It led to him being terrified of it as an adult – he refuses to let himself show that kind of weakness, even to someone who means something to him. And you know that you do – mean something to him, that is.
“I’m sorry,” he finally whispers, just an echo in the darkness of the room. But it draws you to silence, “I’m sorry,” he repeats, voice thick with emotion, “For what I said to you and for the way I acted that night. I fucked up, I know. It never should have happened. What I said should have never–” he lets out a heavy breath, “I never should have said it.”
You roll over, blinking the tears out of your eyes, which tumble down your cheeks. With a sniffle, you scoot closer to him, his warmth welcome and comforting. He opens his arms for you, letting you situate yourself against him. You rest your head against his shoulder, letting your hand rest against his chest. His own hand comes up to take it in his, bringing it up to press a kiss to your knuckles.
“You mean…” he trails off again but you remain patient, knowing it’s difficult for him to fight through his desire to flee, “You mean a lot to me. I never want to lose you. You’re…important.”
You nuzzle your head against him, a silent acceptance of his apology. He kisses the top of your head and pulls you more firmly against him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again for good measure.
He didn't look you in the eyes and tell you he was sorry but he did the best he could. In the inky blackness of your bedroom, as you shared a bed, and he held you so sweetly, he finally said what you needed to hear. And that's truly all you could ask for.
PART TWO.
do not modify, translate, or repost.
#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost smut#ghost x reader#cod smut#cod x reader
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Sick!Hazbin Hotel x Reader Hcs
i love reverse comfort sm. im also currently being brutally murdered by allergies but i prefer comforting others so here we are
🥀 Cw: fluff, crack, teensy bit of angst with comfort
🥀 Pairing(s): Lucifer x reader, Alastor x reader, Vox x reader, Adam x reader
Lucifer:
sick? him? please, the king of hell doesn't get sick!
thats what he claims anyways
lucifer brushes nearly everything off as just plain allergies, he could literally have a 103 fever and be shaking on the floor and would still be pouting and saying he's fine
the thing about him tho is that he's easy to take care of- after a little coaxing lucifer just sighs and nods glumly before pretty much submitting himself to your care
once he's admitted hes sick tho, he wants you around him 24/7
lucifer wants cuddles, hugs, kisses, he just gets so clingy when he's feeling under the weather
THIS MAN LITERALLY BURNS UP WHEN HE'S SICK ITS ALWAYS THE LITTLE ONES WITH THE HIGHEST RAGING FEVERS THAT LAST FOR DAYS like he'll be sweating and shivering and crying he gets hit HARD when he's sick and it happens so suddenly too- like one day he's fine and then the next he looks like he's one small wind away from collapsing
he lowkey feels bad about asking for things when he's sick so he'll say something offhand like "yk im in the mood for soup" and hopes you get the message
ABSOLUTELY THE TYPE TO GET FEVER DREAMS AND START RAMBLING WHEN HES SICK
like he'll wake up from a nap and still be half asleep and he just starts genuinely rambling about literally the most obscure things
lucifer definitely gets nightmares even when he isn't sick, but when hes feeling like shit and is so delirious he can't tell reality from fiction? be prepared for him to wake up crying and shaking, he just gets so so scared :(
lucifer feels bad about you taking care of him and wants to help, but will lowkey end up pushing himself too hard. PLEASE reassure him and tell him it's alright he'll literally melt
once its all over, lucifer will genuinely trust you more after you saw him in such a vulnerable state and is much more likely to come to you instead of hiding how he's feeling in the future
Alastor:
alastor? weak? lmao no
he would literally rather die than admit he's sick like he would literally just keep pushing on
alastor is one of those people that has an iron immune system like he VERY rarely gets sick but when he does its like torture
to even be alastor's partner you'd have to know him for a long time and you'd probably be able to read him pretty well (at least compared to other people), yet even you sometimes miss his sickness in the earlier stages
alastors biggest tell tale sign of being sick? exhaustion. he very rarely sleeps on the regular, but when he's sick that all catches up to him
he also gets more irritable and a little less composed, he'd be more prone to getting angry and would lash out if anyone asked if he was ok
alastors ears would also be turned back slightly, like most animals do when they're being aggressive, but its pretty much only obvious to people who know him closely
alastor never wants to be vulnerable or weak but you notice that his eyelids keep drifting of their own accord, and how irritable he's been, and it clicks to you that he's obviously not feeling well
approach him about it in private, while alastor does trust you he still doesn't want others to knowm
no matter how much you try he will not lay down, take medicine, or do anything (at least at first)
alastor genuinely thinks that he can just push through on his own and lowkey thinks you're worrying too much
however after two weeks of pure suffering and exhaustion, combined with no sleep and your irritation at his lack of will to take care of himself, alastor finally breaks
he'd prob come to your room at like 4 in the morning and just curl up on the edge of the bed, shivering a little but staying quiet
you wake up to him fast asleep, his ears twitching every once and a while as he rests peacefully near you
get a cool towel and lay it on his forehead to break the fever, and he'll just keep sleeping
he probably wouldn't wake up for at least a few hours, months of lost sleep are catching up to him at this point, giving you the opportunity to make him some soup and medicine
alastor will stir a little when you get out of bed but wont wake up, but once he does wake up he wants you to come back
when he's sick he wants you to be nearby, alastor isn't the touchiest person and being sick makes him feel gross, so he wouldn't want to be touched but would want you arround just to know you're there
this is probably the first step in him being more open to vulnerability around you, and while it may have been a bit of an irritating process to get him back to his usual healthy status, it's definitely worth it as he begins to trust you more
Vox:
lowkey a man child (affectionate)
vox is one of those guys who will take care of himself when he's sick, but he'll complain about it every step of the way
i think he's pretty responsible when he's sick, he'll take the day off and relax but won't do much other than that
he likes when you pamper him though, and a part of him lowkey enjoys being sick because he just gets to have your full attention all of the time (as if he doesn't already💀)
vox would be irritated about showing weakness and not being in control, but he wouldn't be irritated at you
if an employee was being too nosy about his wellbeing? yea he's pissed but if you're the one taking care of him, he'll just sigh and let you do what you want
VOX IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHOS LITERALLY ALWAYS COLD AND ITS AMPLIFIED WHEN HES SICK
he becomes like a literal ice cube he's SHIVERING and everything
vox has the cutest sneezes too, he glitches out and denies how cute his sneezes are but they really are adorable
vox takes like 2 baths per day when he's sick he hates feeling unclean, and def wants you to join him in the bath (just to relax, get your mind out of the gutter)
vox would be a little pissed about missing work, i think he's a bit of a workaholic and might try to work in bed or sneak some paperwork behind your back
it doesn't work though because he just ends up passing out anyway
vox is big on sleeping when he's sick he's definitely the type to just sleep it off and thats that
like he CRASHES in bed and just does not get up for hours
he sleeps like the dead too, his screen is blank and he barely moves in his sleep
like lucifer, he has fever dreams but they lean more on the weird side rather than the sad side
its funny but instead of talking more when sick, vox actually talks much less. he starts getting super quiet and a lot more needy for your attention
vox is more than happy to return to work and be back on his feet, but will send you a little thank you gift and pamper you in return for taking care of him
Adam:
manchild x2 (also affectionate)
adam DREADS getting sick like he genuinely hates it so much, he sees it as one of his own flaws and it makes him lowkey disgusted at himself
he whines like a baby over a common cold, its almost sad how the slightest sickness will make him act like he's on his death bed
adam whines and complains whenever you aren't around him, he wants cuddles and kisses and is 10x more clingy when he's sick
he has little to no appetite when he's actually sick but gets a huge appetite right after
like you'll have to force him to eat at least a piece of toast per day while he's actually feverish but once he's in recovery he's literally FAMISHED and will ask for so much food
he barely eats or drinks while hes sick it just feels icky to him
i also think he's the type to not want to move like he just collapses on his bed and barely moves an inch (unless you force him)
adam exaggerates when he's barely sick and then underplays it when he's genuinely really sick its lowkey so confusing
like he could have pneuomonia and be half dead and say he's fine but he could have the most common cold and complain foreverrr
he doesn't think you're genuine when you say you want to help him and take care of him, he thinks its just a joke since nobody has ever really taken care of him before
like sure he's been told what to do and bossed around and treated him like a foolish child, but no one has ever sat with him while he's sick and held his hand yk?
while he can be irritable and annoying while he's sick, he apologizes afterwards
its one of the few times he ever apologizes but he genuinely feels bad about lashing out
adam isn't used to being below someone when it comes to status or health and relaxing and letting someone else take care of him is kind of foreign for him, but you both work it out over time
while he isn't the easiest to take care of, he genuinely appreciates that you want to help him and wants to return the favor someday
I WILL MAKE A PT 2 OF THIS WITH MORE FEM CHARACTERS OR WITH HELLUVA BOSS CHARACTERS BUT I DIDNT WANT TO CROWD UP THIS POST TOO MUCH!!!!! ALSO SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES I WROTE THIS WHILE HALF ASLEEP ♥️ HOPE YALL ENJOYED THIS TEEHEE
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x oc#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x you#alastor x y/n#alastor altruist#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer magne#lucifer magne x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam x you#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel headcanon#lucifer fluff#alastor fluff#vox fluff#adam fluff#hazbin hotel fluff
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It's a Match! || 141 x reader
[ Chapter 1 ] || [ Chapter 3 ]
Pairing: Soap x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader
Words: 1K~
cw: a bit of dirty talking/innuendos
Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?
Chapter 2: Johnny
“Oh, hello…” You remarked to yourself as your eyes locked into a stunning pair of blue eyes on your screen, stopping your mindless right-swipping. “...Johnny.”
“You’re 29… A soldier… Scottish… Are you friends with Kyle?” You mused playfully. “Let me guess, you’re a gym bro, aren’t you?” You asked sarcastically as you tapped your finger on the right side, skipping through his pictures. The first one immediately after was him lifting while wearing a weightlifting belt. “Yup… Mandatory gym pic.”
Chuckling to yourself, you snap a screenshot of his profile to the girls as well, sending it quick.
leah: @/mia Whatever good energy you sent its working. second hot guy in the last 5 minutes!
mia: i lit a CANDLE for this!!!!!
leah: there weren’t any handsome guys like this when i was on tinder?! 😫 UNFAIR. 🙄
you: blow it out then cause this is the 3rd actually.
leah: 3rd??? Where’s number 2???
you: didn’t think to snap a screenshot. hasn’t matched me back yet.
mia: has he posted a shirtless pic?
you: kyle did and this one idk but probably. need to check.
leah: Don’t forget to send it over.🥴
Shaking your head and laughing in amusement, you went back to Tinder, checking on ‘Johnny’. The mandatory gym pic was there… a couple of them in fact! And then the mandatory shirtless selfie. Or rather… The mandatory shirtless SELFIES. Plural.
Three of them… The first one was him just straight up wearing just a towel… And the next was him in a kilt… And the next was him with a button-up very much so unbuttoned.
“Oh, my, Johnny-John-John… You sure know how to woo a bird…” You joked to yourself.
You dragged your finger down to check his bio and immediately frowned. “Of course…” You trailed off with a disappointed frown as you snuck another spring roll into your mouth.
He might be stupidly attractive, but his personality… Gosh, he doesn’t know how to sell himself. Boring, boring, boring. “I work out and like video games!” You quipped mockingly and scoffed a bit.
“Artist.” You remarked when you reached the last of his profile’s tags, spotting that word in the hobby section. “An artist? You?” You asked your phone screen as if Johnny would come alive in it and answer you.
You’d admit, him calling himself an artist was intriguing enough, but normally that wouldn’t be enough to make you Swipe Right on him… But you’re not under normal circumstances. You promised your friends you’d Swipe Right on everyone so…
Your phone almost dropped out of your hand as soon as the ‘It’s a Match’ screen showed. “Of course… He’s probably swiping right on everyone as well…” Rolling your eyes, you go to click off the screen but accidentally enter DMs.
Johnny: ye have any scottish in you?
you: not that i know of.
Johnny: would ye like to? 🫦
Johnny: wait. wdym not that ye know of???
Johnny: i was trying to be filthy and now got me curious bonnie
“Fuckin’ hell…” You said as you set down your phone and covered your face before breaking into a fit of giggles.
The fact you had accidentally ruined his pick-up line and succeeded in stumping him got you very, very amused. Okay, maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as boring as you thought.
you: story for another time.
you: i walked right into that one tho. good job.
Johnny: no ye cant do that
Johnny: gotta tell me all about it now
you: i mean werent scottish people everywhere in the uk at one point?
you: i might be 1/370232103484320th scottish.
Johnny: would ye like some MORE scottish in ye then? 🫦
you: solid attempt again.
you: if you keep trying you might just get there.
Johnny: i intend to dont worry
you: soooo…
Johnny: so?
you: were you wearing underwear under the kilt?
Johnny: no
Johnny: why want a peek? 😏
you: i’m good
you: so ur an artist?
Johnny: i am
Johnny: ur fast at typing fuck
you: what kind?
you: keep up then!
Johnny: drawing
Johnny: im trying 🥴
you: can i see some?
Johnny: hanging with my mates difficult to text fast 😤
Johnny: idk if ull be in the mood to see anything after im done with ye
you: why? 🤨
Johnny: might be too tired and need to be cuddled to sleep 😏
you: oh fuck off.
Johnny: u just cursed me out
Johnny: i think m in love 😫
Johnny: gonna tell my mates i just met my spouse 🥴🥴
you: don’t give them any ideas.
you: haven’t even agreed to meet up with you.
you: haven’t been invited in the first place.
Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Johnny: meet up with me 🙏
Your eyes widened at his enthusiasm and persistence. Okay, he was definitely not boring… It was actually kind of endearing and funny!
you: jc r u copypasting that?
Johnny: yes
Johnny: are ye going to or not
you: can i get back to you on that?
Johnny: ill wait for ye
you: sure you do that johnny
Johnny: ow the sarcasm burns
Concealing a chuckle, you clicked off the DMs page for the second time tonight… but, this time, you closed the app and focused on eating dinner.
Sure, this whole dating app thing was stupid, but at least you were enjoying yourself.
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taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthoney , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe
#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic#cod modern warfare#cod fanfic#captain john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#text story#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#soap x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader
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*⁀➷ 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜
sypnosis: basically in which toji and you are having sex for the first time after a 3 year long distance relationship <3
NOTE: WHY DID I TAKE HALF A YEAR TO FINISH THIS BRU. feeling like cory rn LMAAOOO— no but frfr school has been in the way and some personal problems have made it hard to write but im getting back on track i promise. i tried to make this longer than i originally wanted! more fics are otw i defff have plenty of ideas while i've been gone.
CW: fem!reader, virgin!reader, chubby reader!!, possessive!toji, domestic!toji, shy!y/n, whipped!toji, whipped!reader, age gap, established relationship, mentions of sexting, dry humping, unprotected!sex(wrap it before u tap it), mating press, marking, scratching, slight hair pulling, dirty talk, handjob if u squint, fingering, cunnilingus, after care, toji bein an absolute sweetheart cause i’m a sucker for affection, vv domestic moments bc im a romantic at heart, pet names such as; baby, sweetheart, mama(s), etc
majority of people say that long distance relationships were bound to fall apart one day.
not yours and toji’s tho!! of course not, even with all the stigma surrounding online relationships and with the added on fact that it’s “taboo” for toji to be years older than you, didn’t mean you two wouldn’t work out. duhh, you guys are safe from all that.
and so here you were, sat nervously on his couch in his house waiting for him to finish coming back from the convenience store. you guys had decided on your first ever actual date to be a more domestic one— so a movie night with snacks was the go to move. the click of the front door opening has you springing up and walking over to toji who has multiple bags with all kinds of treats.
“give me some. let me help you, kay?”
you mutter, taking a few bags from him before he could protest and setting them down onto the kitchen table. you go into the cabinets to pull out a few big bowls, and start pouring the food into them. all while you were doing this, toji unexpectedly comes up behind you and wraps his strong arms around your waist.
“have i told you how pretty you look baby?”
he presses a few kisses to your neck as he rubs circles on your soft hips, and you turn away from him to hide the way you’re becoming flustered.
“you’ve only been saying it since you’ve picked me up at the airport.”
toji spins you around to face him, and you begin biting your lip at the way he’s eyeing you down. good lord he was so sexy. but looking at him for too long would put you into cardiac arrest with how his green eyes pierced through your own. damn, since when did it get so hot in here?
“i’ll keep on saying it sweetheart, cause i like the way you squirm underneath my gaze.”
you swallow and give a shy giggle in return. you were so glad that toji was your first ever real long term relationship, because him being your first everything? the idea always had you squealing like a middle school girl. but your train of thought had dissipated when toji begun to gently squeeze your ass.
“toji… i- i needa set the bowls down onto the living room table.”
oh wow, now you’re stuttering? you felt a bit embarrassed considering how assertive you were between your texts and calls. yet here you were, getting shy at every gesture he made. obviously during your relationship you two had always been lovey dovey, but you never actually believed that toji himself was clingy. you aren’t complaining tho!! you adored that he was like this with you.
“that can wait, just let me kiss for a bit.”
and who were you to say no to his request? with the way he was holding onto your waist as he pulled you into a sweet kiss was when you knew this was worth waiting for. the soft sounds of your lips parting and connecting once more had your head spinning— your knees becoming weaker from every caress he gave.
“you taste so good mama.”
the signature nickname he gave you since the start of your relationship slips out, and you moan in satisfaction. you grip onto his black wife beater shirt, then smooth your hands up to grab onto his shoulders, jabbing your nails into his skin from how jittery you were getting. he softly bit your bottom lip, and that made you part your lips enough for him to slip his tongue in.
your vision grows hazy and your eyes close shut before pulling away in a gasping manner. toji gazes at you in desire as you begin to act like that didn’t phase you— when in fact you were trying your best not to start jumping around and doing jumping jacks. good god, you really did win the lottery with him. you push your hair back from your face and grab the bowls before walking right past him and setting them down on the living room table.
toji follows right behind you, pulling you back into him as he sits down on the couch. you squeal as you fall right into his lap, chest right against his. you flutter your lashes at him as he licks his lips and leisurely glides his hand down from your neck all the way down to your ass once again. it made your body twitch in delight, and you grind against his crotch in response to his tease.
“oh? ‘you finally gonna stop bein’ shy with me mama?”
toji rubs his hand up towards your waist and pinches your hip dip. you have your own hands massaging his shoulders as you begin to mutter in embarrassment,
“you keep trying to provoke me, asshole.”
toji gives you a sly grin before you impulsively decide to pull him in by the straps of his wife beater shirt, kissing him once again. you gasp desperately and he soon had his tongue dancing with yours. you nibble on his bottom lip and pull back just a little to tease him, which has his eyes widening in shock. your confidence boosts at that reaction and you begin to go down to his jaw, peppering soft kisses towards his neck and that’s when you begin to suck.
you give wet kisses to his adams apple and switch from sucking on his skin to kissing over the markings that began to fold. you do the same all over his neck and you then trail down to his collar bones. you moan in surprise when you could start to feel toji’s boner pressing against you through his sweats. wearing biker shorts wasn’t helping either because you could clearly feel the imprint.
you whine and grind against him, trying to create more friction as your arousal begins to stain your panties and possibly through your shorts. toji groans and grips onto your hips, both of you moving in a messy rhythm. your thighs began to tremble as your clit became more and more sensitive with each reaching second. soon enough you’d orgasm, all while being clothed.
this idea makes toji stop grinding against you, gripping onto your hips to stop you. you’re dazed out expression contorts into a frustrated one as you pout. why wasn’t he letting you orgasm? you knew toji was the type of man to put your pleasure over his own and yet he was stopping you from reaching your high.
toji only chuckles and brushes a thumb over your soft lips, nudging his finger in a bit to coat a bit of saliva on it. meanwhile, he’s rubbing your hips and thighs.
“i know you’re frustrated baby, but it’s our first time together, and you deserve to orgasm in a much better way than just dry humping.”
your lashes flutter against your skin as you melt against his touch. gosh, he was always thinking about you first and you loved it so much. you were so entranced that you could only nod in response, a dreamy expression on your face. after all, this was the first out of many that you guys could get intimate with each other face to face. toji smiles lazily, admiring how beautiful his baby looked. he’s then quick to take off your shirt and helps you slip off your shorts, only leaving you in your undergarments.
he squeezes at your pudge, loving how soft you were— grinning at how you twitched and tried to hold in your giggles. he loved every part of your body, and he was going to make sure to cherish all of you. you deserved to be loved right. toji leans forward to rest his head against your tits, reaching his hands behind your back to smoothly unhook your bra. you gasp in surprise as the straps begin to slip off your shoulders.
he pulls back to have your bra fall off, pretty tits now being exposed to him. toji sucks in a sharp breath as he internally groans at how big your tits were, bringing his hands up to cup them. you softly moan and your already perked nipples hardened even more. he fans his breath against one, and gently pulls on the other. your soft sighs is what brings him to hurriedly put his lips around your nipple, licking and kissing the bud.
you sharply inhale and squeeze his shoulders. you felt like a mess, because you couldn’t think straight and the only thing your mind could focus on was the way toji’s boner was right against you and neither of you were fully naked yet. you just wanted him to fuck you so good— to make up for all the years you two missed out on each other’s bodies.
toji kisses the nipple he was teasing his fingers with, and then begins to suck on it as he then swirls his tongue around your areola. you bite your lip and shutter in satisfaction, as you feel him begin to toy with your other nipple. toji makes sure to leave marks all over your chest before actually gently laying you on the couch, and taking his own shirt off. you’ve seen it all the time through pictures and videos when he would be sending you gym videos, or when you would facetime when he would be at the gym or when it was late at night, but it still came as a surprise to you on how well sculpted he was.
“ya like what ya see baby?”
he’s grinning at you, and you realize that you’ve been staring at him for too long. you roll your eyes and smile back at him. there wasn’t any point in denying at how in awe you were with how sexy your man was.
“i do. you look so handsome.”
toji’s eyes become hooded, pools of emerald green darkening at your compliment. he licks his lips before pulling at your panties, ripping them in the process of quickly having them be thrown somewhere on the floor. wow, he must’ve really liked that comment.
you prop your elbows up against the couch and watch with wide-blown eyes as he pulls down his sweats and boxers, also discarding the clothing somewhere on the floor. his cock was— big and oh so girthy. you were definitely turning into puddy by the next morning.
you gasp when he pushes your legs apart and he’s sloppily pumping himself as his gaze latches onto yours, and blood rushes to your face from how self-aware you were. he was jacking himself off to you right in front of you. and dirty enough, you liked it. you liked having him look so desperate right above you, as he gets himself prepared to fuck you.
god, was that whole length seriously going to go inside you? toji would always speak about how big he was in a cocky tone and when you saw it on camera for the first time, you knew not to doubt him. but seeing it in actuality made it sink in on just how big he really was.
your breaths get heavier the more his pre dripped onto your lower abdomen, and as he was beginning to groan more. you were quick to put a hand around the top of his length, teasing his tip. toji’s body jolts for a second before he’s quick to relax once again and his pace becomes faster.
you draw circles around his tip, making sure to gently squeeze him every few seconds. you could tell how bad toji wanted to cum with the way he started to buck his hips and the lewd squelching noises got sloppier.
“fuck, i can’t take this any longer.”
toji abruptly pulls away from you, backing up to then grab your thigh and slide his hands up to your knees, lifting your legs off the couch to have you be folded against him, legs now hooked over his shoulders. your eyes widen when his nose is pressing against your pubic area, and he’s looking up at you with devilish eyes.
“been waiting to do this for a while..”
he murmurs, licking his lips feverishly. he’s quick to press his mouth right against your cunt, giving leisure licks to your clit. you cry out in surprise, thighs quickly beginning to tremble. you try to silence your moans by biting your lip and having a hand cover your mouth. but toji looks up at you and furrows his brows.
he pulls you closer and pushes your hips upward, your ass slightly lifting off the couch cushion as he gropes your asscheeks. he’s eating you faster, tongue swirling against your clit and then feverishly leaving sloppy kisses— and repeat. your eyes roll back as your body jolts in utter pleasure.
you try to push his head back from how flustered you were— but instead, your fingers tangle themselves into his hair as you pull on it, tears prickling at the brims of your eyelids. you mewl pathetically, trying to move your hips in a rhythmic pace against his tongue. you could feel the knot in your stomach beginning to form.
“oh god! toji! m’gonna— gonna cum!”
you shriek, thighs closing around his head as your body shakes in such a way that has toji holding onto your hips to steady you a bit. you try to hide your moans with your hands again but he’s quick to grab your wrist with his free hand and pin it down to the bed.
when he feels like you’re wet enough, he slowly inserts one thick finger into your twitching hole. your pupils dilate and your mouth turns into an “o” as you desperately gasp for air. his relentless pace becomes too much to bare when he’s inserting another finger, and you squeal with pleasure. your own fingers couldn’t compare to how good his own were stretching you, working you to a release.
his mouth goes back down again, gently sucking on your clit, as his fingers roughly fucked you. your eyes are practically crossing and toji could almost see stars swirling in your pupils as you succumbed to the immense feeling that was beginning to build up. you were whispering his name, chanting it over and over again like a prayer and it made him want to reach down to his cock and pump himself to your moans.
“oh! oh, tojiii! please! please let me—”
a sly grin forms on his swollen lips, and he curls his fingers at that spot that has you almost screaming, back arching off the couch as you grip onto his hair for dear life, pulling on it as your body quivers in delight. he was so good at this you feared that you’d end up closing your thighs around his head without thinking and suffocate him on accident.
and when he gently takes your clit in between his lips and sucks all while hitting that sweet spot inside, you come undone. toji could barely hear the "m'cumming!" you squealed out before you're creaming against his face, juices flowing down to his chin as he laps up your overstimulated cunt, moaning in satisfaction at how addicting your taste was.
"god you taste so fuckin' good, sweetheart."
you whine in response, hardly registering what he said over the loud drumming of your heartbeat, a dazed expression painting your face which made toji chuckle. but he didn't want you to get tired just yet. and so, he's quick to swipe his tongue over his lips, fingers taking the dripping cum on his chin into his mouth all while looking directly into your eyes. he's then towering over you once more, green eyes shining once more through the illuminated moonlight peaking through the curtains of his home, streaks of dark raven hair being outlined by said light.
"I love you, to'."
the words slip out so easily, so naturally, that it almost surprised you. but it didn't, not as much as the faint sharp inhale you heard from the man above you. it wasn't that you guys hadn't really used the words between you two, but more so it felt more real, more raw, now that you could actually say it to each other face to face. not that it hadn't already meant a lot during the time that you were long-distance but cmon, who couldn't say that this was so much better?
he lines himself up against your folds, bending down to kiss you on the lips. he didn't say anything. but he didn't need to, not with the way he brought his free hand up to intertwine with yours, giving an affectionate squeeze. and certainly not with the way he had begun peppering kisses all over your face, from your forehead down to your chin. rather than saying it back, he's showing you. showing you that this? this was going to be you two from now on.
"you ready, baby?"
after seeing his dick for the first time? since forever.
but you only smile against his lips, nodding in response. he nuzzles your noses together, tip slowly pushing into you. you moan, back slightly arching off the couch once again. toji then gently puts your legs over his shoulders anew as he finally wedges the tip inside, stopping every now and then so you can begin to stretch out and accommodate his girth and length without much struggle.
"oh fuck, you're so fuckin' tight."
toji moans as he bucks against you slightly, pushing another inch further in. you throw your head back against the soft cushions behind your head and gasp. he was so big, you already felt so full. he inches in slowly, and you could feel yourself loosening up more and more. your thighs are visibly trembling, and you could feel every trace of his vein that trails down his entire length. at one point, you felt like you could feel him in your stomach. toji finally goes in to the hilt, and your mind went blank.
it felt like forever for him to fully stuff himself into your pussy but when he had, you could feel his tip kiss your cervix and your body was tingling all over, tears forming at the brims of your eyelids as a reaction of pleasure. your bodies were finally connected and you were thrilled, so much so that you began squeezing around him—tighter.
"shit baby, you're sucking me in."
toji whispers huskily, thick black bangs of hair stuck onto his forehead from sweat as his beefy arms are caging your head. you moan in response, wrapping your arms around his neck and fingernails pressing on his back, scratching him. he grunts, lifting up to position himself to squat on top of you. oh my god, toji had put you in mating press.
his hips move back and slam back into you and you force down a scream when you feel him go so deep. your tits circle as you shake in desperation, and your cunt spasms at the feeling of the way his cock twitches. toji laughs, voice so deep and raspy that it made you wetter than you already were. he was amused at your reaction.
but you were getting impatient. finally getting used to his size meant that he didn’t have to hold back, and you didn’t want him to. you wanted him to have you not feeling your legs by tomorrow morning, and screaming until the entire neighborhood knew his name.
“please to’… want you to fuck me hard.”
being so close to him meant that you could not only see his reactions, but feel them too. so when he shudders from your words, it has you whining. his hips slowly begin to move, and your hands squeeze his shoulders in utter delight as you repeatedly gasp with each soft thrust.
and when he grabs your disheveled hair to tilt your head back, aligns his lip right against your ear? it has you quivering around his cock as he whispers to you,
"y’want me to fuck ya until you’re cumming all over my cock hm? want me to fuck ya ‘till you’re seeing nothin but stars?”
your toes curl as you tighten around him, the delicious feeling has him sighing in ecstasy. you then nod frantically, raking your nails against his biceps. you couldn’t even give him any other response besides a pitiful whimper. toji chuckles darkly, before fixing his positioning on top of you.
he pulls out just enough so only the tip and an inch or so are wedged in, and then snaps his hips back into you with full force as you jolt while screaming out his name. and then he starts fucking into you, almost at a feral pace. you grip onto his shoulders like your life depended on it, jaw slacked and the most erotic moans spewing out of your glossed lips.
“oh- oh my god! toji! please! ffucckk!”
you never knew you could moan so loudly, and god was it embarrassing. not in the shameful way, but more so… the fact that you couldn’t ever imagine yourself moaning like this until toji made it possible. your thought process is shortly cut off when toji begins to groan— and, was that a whine that you just heard?
you feel his hand trail down to your twitching clit, and your lips form an “o” shape as he begins to ever so softly pinch it. you wail as you frantically claw at his back, bright red scratch marks appearing that were sure to last for a while. toji grunts, he wouldn’t admit it just yet but the pain from your nails mixed with the sheer pleasure your pussy was bringing him was making his balls swell much faster than he expected.
and the way your tight gummy walls were sucking his fat cock in— it was like you were begging to be filled up with his thick cum. but maybe that was just him speaking for himself. the idea of cumming in you was enticing; one that consumes his sexual desires. but not just yet. toji looks down to see a white ring begin to form at the base of his dick, and he licks his lips as he glances back up at you.
you looked so pretty, fucked out on his cock like this. your tits were jiggling in rhythm with his animalistic thrusts, and your nipples were rubbing against his chest. and he was even more enamored with the sound his balls slapping against your ass were making. fuck, he was bound to cum soon. but you looked like you were on the brink of shattering more so than he was.
that specific feeling of your stomach clenching and your body tensing up has you knowing that you were going to reach your release any minute. and so when toji begins to messily rub his fingers against your clit to overstimulate you all while he’s rutting into you with one goal in mind— you break.
your thighs are quaking against his body, as your cunt gushes out milky white cum, coating toji’s cock and his inner thighs. you whine when toji pulls out and releases on your stomach and tits, feeling empty without him inside anymore. with your eyes rolled back, lights swirling behind your eyelids as you were trying to form coherent thoughts, with you trying to control your ragged breathing; you almost didn’t register toji’s “you okay mamas?”.
you look at him through half-lidded eyes, and exhale out a velvet “mhm”, a lazy smile spreading across your lips to reassure him even more. he laughs softly and then slowly pulls back from you to have your legs lay on his sides, as he begins to slowly and gently massage from your thighs down to your ankles. you moan with relief as you hadn’t even taken notice to the slight pain within some parts of your legs that toji was rubbing on.
“you did so well baby.”
he mumbles, bringing one leg up to kiss from your calf to your ankle, then the other. you practically melt from his touches— he was so good at making you feel loved in all kinds of ways and it made you go crazy.
“thank you for this amazing first time experience, to’.”
you reach for his free hand, pulling him down so you can give him sweet kisses on his lips and cheeks. he kisses you back, squeezing your hand affectionately. you both pull away and you slowly sit up, leaning against him for support.
“only the best for you, sweetheart. i’ll be right back with a wash cloth for ya, ‘kay?”
you nod and watch as he gets up and goes back into the bathroom across the room to get a wash cloth, and he comes back in a few seconds. you sigh at the feeling of the warmth of the water on the cloth, and toji cleans the sticky mess he left before going down to in between your thighs to clean, then the couch. he jogs back into the bathroom to leave the cloth and wash his hands, and maybe his dick, and comes back to you once more.
he sits next to you and brings an arm around you, rubbing your shoulder with his hand. he then tosses a blanket that was laying on the side over you two— and you realized how bad you’ve always wanted this. gosh, you couldn’t wait for more moments like this.
and then you look in front of you, and you remember what you two were actually meant to be doing.
“baby, what about the movie we were supposed to be watching?”
toji’s eyes widen, almost like that never crossed his mind, and you can’t help but giggle at how fast he grabs the remote to put on Netflix and swipe through movies you two could watch.
“we still can mama, jus’ don’t fall asleep on me.”
“you’ve already tired me out, so no promises.”
you grin at the way he playfully rolls his eyes and gives you a cheeky laugh. so when he pulls you in to peck your forehead, and for just the sake of being closer?
you know that this is where you were meant to be.
P.S: wow!! this was so much fun from start to finish. writers block is a real pain in the ass but more is to come, at a less-half year disappearance-rate LMAO. def going to write more abt this trope, i loved it sm.
feel free to leave ideas in my inbox or a comment ♡ if i made any grammar mistakes that i missed, lmk！and thank u so much for reading (●´ω｀●)
#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fic#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji zenin#jjk x chubby reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jjk toji#toji smut#toji x you#toji imagine#toji x chubby#toji thirst#toji x y/n#jujutsu toji#dilf toji#toji headcanons#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#jjk x you
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poison
summary: ony was a known player. women have practically threw themselves at him in hopes that they’d be the one to make him “change”, but they never succeed. he finally met his match when he started messing with you…
cw: toxic!reader, toxic!ony, smoking, smut
word count: 3.6k
onyankopon wasn’t the type of man to chase. he wasn’t the man that would go above and beyond or make a woman feel like she could never be replaced. ony believed women were for the moment, having nothing to them that made him yearn for more. he’d be with a women one night and be moved on and ready for another women victim the next.
“man how you just gon block keisha like that? she bad as hell” connie said as he and ony rolled up on his couch. the darkskin male just laughed, shaking his head as he closed out her instagram profile and began looking through the hundreds of other women in his dms. “i already fucked, and it was like every other pussy i put my dick in. she pretty tho” connie shook his head in disappointment as he continued to crush up the weed between his fingers.
ony had no problem settling down, or so he said, but he just doesn’t think the women he’s been with were the right ones. leaving each of their houses without so much as a “goodbye” before deleting them from his phone and from his life completely. “don’t shake your head at me nigga. you be doing it too” ony laughed as he watched his friend place his hand on his heart. a shocked expression on his face as he played offended by the accusation. “it’s not the same and you know it. i at least talk to em from time t’time. you delete em and have em going crazy over you” all ony did was shrug his shoulders, continuing to roll up his blunt without trying to defend himself.
“lemme just take you out t’dinner then. m’tryna get t’know you ma” the brunette said as you sat in the passenger seat of his his hellcat. you were only here for some free weed, using your beauty to your advantage as you batted your lashes and bounced your tiddies while laughing at every terrible joke this man tried to crack. “can i think about it? ima very busy girl” your sultry voice made eren’s palms sweat as he handed you the baggy full of weed. you had this man whipped and he hasn’t even ever fucked you. “alright mama jus lemme know, and i put a lil extra in there f’you. witcho fine ass” he mumbled his last sentence as he watched your ass move in your shorts while getting out the car. you turned around slowly, kissing your hand before blowing it to him. your sparkly clear lipgloss making your lips pop as you gave eren a cute smile.
as soon as he drove off your act dropped. an annoyed look quickly fell on your face as you rolled your eyes. “corny ass nigga” you mumbled as you made your way into your house. these men where too easy when it came to you. always gravitating towards your pretty face and how you carried yourself like a “good girl”. you were nice to everybody, and everybody was nice to you. when you would find yourself messing with a guy, it was never for long. as soon as you got what you needed there was always an excuse on the tip of your tongue.
“m’going through a lot right now”
“i gotta focus on my classes more”
“i need time to heal from my past”
it was honestly the easiest thing in the world. and since you were so nice these niggas had no choice but to put respect on your name no matter what.
you quickly made your way to your room, turning on your led lights to purple as you got out your tray, papers, grinder, and your freshly “bought” bag of weed. “let’s get this shit started” you said as you turned on your tv.
as ony looked through his phone he noticed a freshly posted story from your account. he thought nothing of it as he clicked it. eyes widening at the sight of your other stories throughout the day. there was picture after picture of your beautiful body in a sundress. posing with a hand on your knee as you bent over slightly in the mirror. the next photo was you in a tube top and mini skirt. your big brown eyes looking away from the camera with a finger on your lip as if you were thinking. “jesus” ony mumbled. why hasn’t he ever seen you before?
connie leaned over and looked the the picture. “oh that’s y/n. she fine as hell ain’t she? been tryna get on that for months” his best friend said before taking a hit from his blunt. ony was intrigued. you were one of the sexiest girls he’s ever seen. “why ian ever seen her?” he mumbled as he continued to go through your stories. “that’s ‘cause she a good girl. she don’t party, don’t be fighting bitches over dick, nun of that. she be in her books and chilling” connie’s words brought excitement to ony’s body as he looked at your latest post.
you were in your bed with ed, edd, and eddy playing on your tv. your beautiful brown legs crossed, nails and feet looking freshly done as you held a fat blunt in between your fingers. ‘in my own little world’ the story captioned with poison by brent faiyaz playing softly in the background. ony’s fingers moved before he could think, swiping up on the post before typing you a quick message.
a ding from your phone brought your attention away from your cartoons. ‘must be eren’ you thought as you took a deep sigh before opening your phone. you were right, but there was another message after his.
onyahead replied to your story: let me join that lil world
you have heard plenty about onyankopon. the 90s fine dark skin that had a thing for breaking girls hearts. never seen with a girl, but constantly in the middle of drama when women are at each others throats over a man. he was no good. a liar, a sweet talker, and most of all… a player. but still you replied.
prettybrowny/n: i’d rather not have a mob of girls coming to burn my shit down.
you threw your phone to the side, giggling to yourself as you continued to watch your shows. less than ten minutes later, you heard another ding from your phone.
onyahead: don’t be like that ma. i’m just tryna smoke
what? did he think you were dumb or something? this man was clearly not “just tryna smoke” and that was obvious. it was nearly one in the morning. but still you replied.
prettybrowny/n: send your # and i’ll drop my lo
you weren’t like these other women he’s been with. you didn’t want the same things from him as they wanted. it was late and you were bored. eren gave you so much weed that it wouldn’t hurt to share, and at the end of the day onyankopon was nothing more to you than a man. a very fine, well known man, but still just a man. and at the end of the night you still expected to see him as such.
a smile graced ony’s face as he rose from connie’s couch. he quickly grabbed his hoodie before making his was towards the door. “where you goin? i just rolled two more” connie said. ony looked back at him, a sly smirk adorning his features as he twisted the doorknob. “finna go fuck on the good girl.” all that was heard from connie were loud gasps before ony left the house, putting your address in his gps as he approached his black srt challenger.
‘know you ride it right. i might jus die tonight’
‘but you know i’m still coming through baby’
you changed the lights in your room to red as you waited for him to arrive. rolling up two more fat blunts as you hummed along to your favorite song.
‘i know it's bad for me. and you know it tastes so sweet.’
‘i think i need your abuse baby’
ony was happy to see that you only lived ten minutes from connie. checking himself in his mirror before exiting his car and making his way to your front door. after he knocked on the door he saw a glimpse of your beautiful figure through the window. cami top on without a bra, booty shorts so tight he was almost certain he’d see some of your ass spilling out if you turned around, and your pretty gold anklet shining as you walked towards the door.
you looked up at him with your big brown eyes. your clear glasses reflecting your porch light as you spoke. “hi” you said quietly before moving to the side so he could enter. you closed the door behind him before leading him deeper into the house. “where we smoking at” ony’s deep voice made your stomach flip as you swayed your hips as you walked, already knowing he was looking at your ass. “my room”
‘girl you do damage to me. know i love it ,yea i love you’
‘ain’t nothing better for me now’
“welcome to my lil world” your pretty voice caressed his ears as he walked towards your bed. he thanked the lord he wore sweats as he laid down on his back. waistband hanging low on his hips, happy trial showing as he put his hands behind his head. his hood was up, covering his grey durag. your eyes traveled up and down his body, repeatedly stopping at his waistband. this man wasn’t wearing boxers. “you gon stare or you gon smoke me out?” his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, making you slowly sit in the middle of the bed before picking up the blunt.
‘girl you do damage to me. know i love it, yea i love you’
‘ain’t nothing better for me now’
ony moved closer to you laying down almost right next to you as he watched you put the blunt to your lips. “i rolled you your own ‘cause i got lipgloss on” you gave him a confused look at the chuckle he gave you. “what?” ony gave you a small smirk, your stomach doing flips as you noticed the gold grills adorning his pearly white teeth. “ion care bout that. we can share. make it last longer” you gave him a small nod before trying to start up your lighter. ‘why you gotta break now’ you thought as you repeatedly flicked the lighter just for nothing to come out. another chuckle rumbled from his chest before ony dug in his pocket for his lighter. his big tattooed hand made its way towards your face before he held the fire on the end of your blunt. “gotchu ma” he mumbled as he watched the smoke begin to rise into the air.
you took the first hit, letting the calming drug run all through your system. ony watched tv as you smoked, paying you no mind as he waited for you to rotate to him. you did the same after passing him the blunt, shifting your body towards the screen as you sat on your knees. ony took this as the time to ogle you. like he thought, your ass was spilling from the bottom of your shorts. what he wasn’t expecting was the pretty dermal piercings on your lower back. the diamonds twinkling at him as if they were begging for him to rub his thumbs along them. “how long you had these?” he mumbled to you, making you turned around before following his gaze. “oh. ehhh about a year now” you said before turning back towards the tv.
ony leaned up, sitting next to you as he continued to shamelessly stare at the front of your body now. perky brown breasts, pudgy little stomach, thick thighs, and a pretty face. you were his poison.
‘angel of the night. down between your thighs’
‘i’m still here. ain’t no excuse baby’
you felt him stare at you, but kept facing forward. fighting back the urge to shy away from his gaze as you fidgeted with your fingers. this man was something else. it was like he wanted you to eat you, but you wanted to stay strong. ‘i’m not like them. i’m smarter’ you thought to yourself as you took a deep breath and turned towards him. “you chieffing it nigga” you giggled as you went to grab the blunt from him, but ony moved his hand away. putting it in his other hand which on the other side of his body. “gotta come get it if you want it mama. ion do hand outs”
his voice brought a certain tingle in your nether regions, making you have to take a deep breath before doing what you where about to do. you reached across his body, purposely putting an arch in your back as you slowly looked him in the eye while plucking the blunt from his fingers. the two of you stayed still for a while, looking into each others eyes.
‘i see you in my sleep. i'm scarred beyond belief’
‘ain’t nothing you can't make me do, baby’
ony was the first to move, sliding his free hand down your back before letting it slowly smooth down your ass. the dark skin and ink of his hands contrasting with the light pink fabric of your shorts. “so pretty” he mumbled, loving the way you shied away from his gaze at the compliment. he was breaking you down, but you were doing the same to him. heart beating rapidly in his chest as ony looked at your beautiful breasts peaking at him from your top.
‘girl you do damage to me. know i love it, yea i love you’
‘ain’t nothing better for me now’
you followed his eyes down to your top before slowly moving off of him. blunt now in your mouth as you inhaled deeply. ony watched you, brown eyes never moving from your face as he let you blow smoke on his. you admired him some more, feeling a your breath hitch as you noticed the prominent bulge in his sweatpants. ony saw you staring, smirking as he thought it’d be nice to tease you. “you want it baby?” you mindlessly nod your head, the effects of the weed starting to get to you as you quickly covered your mouth and began shaking your head “n-no”.
“s’okay mama. i wanna give it t’you. can i?” this man is good. you know he has no intention of keeping in contact with you after tonight, keeping his voice soft to bend you to his will as he used faux kindness. if you were any other girl you would’ve fell for it immediately. but if you weren’t then why were you letting him move your stuff from your mattress to your bedside table? and why were you letting him lay you down on your back? big inked hands making quick work of removing your shorts, before ony smiled down at your pretty pussy.
‘girl you do damage to me. know i love it, yea i love you’
‘ain’t nothing better for me now…than your poison baby’
ony quickly removed his hoodie and shirt before setting between your thighs. his brown eyes looked up at your for the “okay” to begin and you let him in a heartbeat. you don’t think you’ve ever gotten better head in your life. ony was skilled with his tongue, running it all over your pussy sloppily before he sucked softly on your clit. he repeated the motion over and over again, getting rougher and rougher with you until your back was arching from the bed. your hand flew to his head, holding him there as you began to grind on his face. ony seen no problem with this, wanting you to get as much pleasure as you wanted right now. “m’gonna cum ony. fuck m’gonna make a mess”
ony looked up at you before snaking his hands up your body. he lifted your shirt to free your pretty breasts before squeezing them in each of his hands. “gon head. make a mess on daddy face” your body didn’t stand a chance against him. a loud whine was released from your lips as you came all over ony’s face, wetting his mustache and anchor beard. “good girl” his praises went straight to your core, making your arousal build up again as he slowly pulled down his sweats until his dick sprang free. now you could understand why women would fight and throw themselves at this man. he was very well equipped. a thick vein running up the underside of his dick as his bounced up and down before you. he was not only long, but incredibly thick, making you wince as he began to line himself up with your entrance.
‘girl you know i play my role when i’m inside that’
ony noticed the worry in your eyes. “relax babygirl. i would never hurt you” he say lowly, letting you grip his hand as tight as you needed while he sunk deep into your walls. he gave you time to adjust, keeping your fingers intertwined as he began slowly stroking you. “how it feel ma? does it hurt” his soft voice made you want to melt into the sheets, eyes already rolling back as you felt his dick kiss all the right places inside of you. ony noticed your lack of reply, chuckling as he watched how fucked out you already were. he continued to talk you through your daze, only stopping to give you light kisses on your neck.
“feel so good mama”
“takin me like a good girl”
“you like bein my good girl don’t you?”
the praised just kept on coming and before you knew it, his large inked hand was wrapped around your throat while ony began to pound you into the mattress. the sudden change in pace made your legs shake at he began to hit you so deep you were seeing stars. “how it feel baby?”
‘with my hands around your throat. i know you like that’
ony felt your release coming, the tightness of you walls making him have to close his eyes as he continued fucking into you. “s-so good daddy. feels so g-good” your moans were music to his ears as he started quickly rubbing his thumb all over your clit. “then make a mess f’me. show me how good daddy make you feel” you listened to him instantly, your release quickly rushing out of you and all over the both of your stomachs as ony fucked you through your orgasm. “good girl mama”
‘girl i’ll do anything’
before you knew it, ony had flipped you onto your stomach. strong hands lifting you up by your waist before he sunk back into you again. “it’s my turn now ‘kay?” your eyes widened in shock at his words.
‘you mean to tell me that whole time everything was just for me? this man is a problem.’
you thought as you felt ony begin to roughly fuck you into the mattress. both inked hands, pushing your back down as he began to angle his hips downward to keep hitting your favorite spots.
“you feel it mama? feel daddy in your tummy?” ony groaned as he felt you clench at his words. he left kissing along the back of your neck before he pulled you up slightly by your hair. “say my name baby” spit dripped from your mouth to the sheets as you listened to the filthy words that came out of ony’s mouth. “say who fucking this pussy so good”. the way he was fucking you, you were glad to say his name. replying to the best of your ability as you felt him kiss your g spot. “onyyyy. o-on-yyyy fucking this pussy so g-good. feel so good daddy” you screamed as you felt ony’s dick kiss your cervix. “that’s right mama. now cum with me. wet my dick while daddy fills this pussy up.”
‘to hear you scream my name. i love your game’
‘i do…..i do’
the two of you came together. your release tricking down your thighs as ony gave you three more strokes before stilling inside you, filling you with his hot cum. he let you catch your breath before slowly pulling out and laying on his back. his strong arms lifting you onto his chest before he said something he never imagined he’d say in his life. “do you want me to spend the night with you?”
‘girl you do damage to me’
when ony woke up he was met with an empty bed, the sound of the shower running signaling to him it was time to go. he made quick work of getting dressed and before he knew it he was out the door, walking tiredly to his car. as he pulled off he contemplating blocking you. your pussy was one he’s never had before. your moans were like music, and your beauty was unmatched. but still he felt like he needed to block you. so with that being said he pulled out his phone, searching your account on instagram so he can do what needed to be done, but his jaw dropped at the realization that your account was nowhere to be found. while he was asleep you room you made the executive decision of blocking him before he even got the chance to block you. ony smiled at your cleverness, but you were “not clever enough mama”
‘but i love it babe’
as you got out of the shower, you heard the sound of your phone dinging. ‘must be eren’ you thought before picking up the device. it wasn’t eren this time…your jaw dropped as you looked at the name on your phone.
snapchat: onyaheaddd sent a chat!
ony💯: i’ll be back over tonight. i forgot my hoodie.
‘oh you’re poisonous baby’
#aot x black reader#onyankopon x black reader#onyankopon x reader#aot onyankopon#onyankopon x black!reader#aot smut#aot onyankopon x black y/n#aot onyankopon x black!reader#aot onyankopon x black reader#aot onyankopon smut#onyankopon smut#onyankopon x black y/n
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I SLITHERED HERE FROM EDEN JUST TO SIT OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR !
FEATURING: D.OSAMU + PM!FEM!READER
sometimes he likes to go back to your house just to relive a few memories
CW: angst, dazai commits breaking and entering, erm lowkey forgot how to tag but theres no real warnings
A/N: FINALLY GOT SOMETHING OUT AFTER SO LONG AHEKJRBGVBFVK idk how i feel abt it tho...
this was a routine dazai knows very well.
jamming the pin into the keyhole, twisting it a few time until a click is heard and then rotating the handle to push open the door into your apartment.
just as expected, the door creaked open to a silent, empty apartment. if you were home, after all, a shot would've already been fired in his direction. maybe it'd hit him in the head, spraying his brains across the floor of your apartment and yet, dazai wouldn't even care, too enamored with you to realise the sticky mahogany spilling from a hole in his head.
dust floated in the rays of light that seeped through the curtains. items thrown haphazardly across the floor indicated you were probably in a rush when leaving, which was strange- you never were late for anything, you were always the most punctual out of the three of you years ago.
dazai could remember it vividly: you scolding him and chuuya for bickering like children, hurrying towards meetings while dazai pouted and chuuya grumbled.
and yet he could also remember how the sunlight glowed on your skin, leaving you a picture of angelic beauty in his eyes, even as your lips crinkled in a frown at the pairs childish antics as you chided them.
the kitchen was cleaner than the rest of the house, a little too clean.
dazai wondered if you had even had time to eat before you left, tracing a slim finger around the rim of a mug half-filled with dark coffee. he stopped his finger along a part of the mug, imprinted a muted red in your lip gloss. you still use the same one, don't you? dazai always thought it looked pretty on you. he didn't even need to close his eyes to imagine you, your features burned into his mind and voice the ringing in his ears.
dazai doesn't think he'll feel the same those moments around you felt, with all your attention and devotion focused on him-
the sound of the door opening and shutting slammed dazai's heart into the pit of his stomach. he glanced at the oven clock-4:30? you were always held up 'til seven- before promptly ducking under the counter top.
if you came into the kitchen, he's so done.
your footsteps were muffled by the walls as you shrugged off your coat with a rustle of fabric, sighing. dazai didn't have to look to know, your hands were running in your hair, shoulders drooping with exhaustion.
truth be told, dazai doesn't think he would care being caught by you. he just fears your rejection.
your footsteps got closer and he could hear you, your sweet voice laced with exhaustion, mumble something under your breath. he tensed, eyes darting around for any kind of escape from the predicament.
his heart was racing. was he scared? no, was he...nervous? claws crawled up from his stomach, his throat clenching around their spindly fingers and his stomach churned at the thought of your face when you see him.
disgust, betrayal, hurt.
dazai is a selfish man, and yet he thinks he'll throw up if you look at him with anything but the gentle, affectionate gaze you spoiled him with.
your footsteps keep getting closer, closer. dazai's stomach churns and he holds his breath so hard his head spinned.
you were going to catch him. you were going to find him and scream at him, you were going to pat out every little insult that dazai knew he deserved but please, don't let them come from you.
you sighed and mumbled softly, turning the other way and ambled towards your room. the rush of blood in dazai's ears quieted a bit and he let out a breath once he heard your bedroom door close, lungs burning.
it's funny that he never got this anxious when faced with certain death during a mission, yet getting caught by you was enough to make him crumble. he lets out a shaky breath, half nervous chuckle and half relieved sigh as he stands up after a bit. waitng for noise behind the door of your room, dazai quietly padded his way towards the door. maybe he can leave, he doesn't have to cause you such distress again, it's for the better after all...
...or so he lies.
the door to your room opens with a creak and standing out in the middle of your living room, dazai knows he's done for. he doesn't even bother to turn around, not wanting to see the horrified look on your face. he just stands there, frozen with his back turned towards you.
dazai thinks he'll throw up.
"...dazai?" your voice was so soft, yet so filled of disbelief it hurt him to the core. you called for him again, this time with a quiver in your voice and dazai just wants to die there.
are you crying? did he make you cry? dazai didn't turn around, he doesn't want to see if he really did just make you cry.
too caught up in his thoughts, dazai didn't hear you tread carefully towards him, yet he registered the soft brush of your fingers through his clothes, the hesitancy with which you touched him that only traded for firmness as you brushed his back, as if you were checking if he was real.
"osamu." you sounded so hurt it made dazai sick. why are you calling him by his given name? he doesn't deserve it, he never deserved you after all. he shouldn't even be here in your apartment, he should be half dead in a ditch, drunk off the cheapest sake he has.
"you're here...you're really back, aren't you osamu?" you sobbed quietly.
shit, you're really crying.
reluctantly, dazai turned back towards you, swallowing thickly when your breath hitched at the sight of him. you cupped his face, the right side of his face that he'd always keep covered.
"please don't cry." he wanted to say to you, yet the words wouldn't come out. dazai remained silent, brushing tears off your face. you simply shook, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone and dazai had to resist the urge to tear away from you and run out.
as if you sensed his wish, his hesitancy to this all, you pulled him closer, burying your face against his neck.
"don't go, please?" you mumbled. dazai let out a shuddering breath, his fingers gliding to rest on the small of your back. He really should leave, even if you begged him to.
and yet like the fool he was he stayed.
dazai walked back until he hit the edge of your couch, plopping down and settling you on his lap.
"...I really didn't mean for you to find me." dazai managed out, a weak smile on his face as he brushed your hair out of your face.
"then why did you break into my house?" dazai chuckled, but stayed silent. his lips brushed against your temple, rubbing his hand up and down your back.
"that's a secret, my dear!" he teased lightly, though his face didn't match his tone as his eyes fell upon your tear-stained face.
He sighed, tilting your head up. he brushed away your tears with the back of his fingers, lips pursed as dazai looked at you.
oh, how he wished it could all go back to those old days, when you life a little less complicated for dazai.
Now, he realises as you shake in his hold, it was never normal. you just came in and changed everything, didn't you?
REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !!
©Cheriiyaya 2024
#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝕽𝖊𝖉'𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖘 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd x reader#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#dazai x fem reader#dazai osamu x you#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu x y/n#dazai osamu bsd#osamu dazai x y/n#osamu dazai x you#bungo stray dogs#osamu dazai bsd#osamu dazai x reader
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can i request a fic? seducing innocent sunoo smut fem reader please
ofc you can. requests are always open with me <3 thankyou anon! i hope you’d like this hahshahsjs // ps. i really enjoyed writing this. im sorry it took so long im currently having a vacation kahshahs.
“IM ALL YOURS ! ” innocent stuco president sunoo x stuco vice president fem reader.
cw : friends to lovers (i got carried away lol this is so good), SMUT, suggestive, making out, marking, reader seducing sunoo and him being desperate, poor sunoo lol, grinding, reader’s “just the tip” agenda and oh no it failed lmao. reader cursing.
“do you know how to kiss?” you confidently asked. sunoo, your student council president bestfriend looked up and met your eyes... your eyes that is obviously scanning his lips. “no i dont, why would you ask that?” he responded before going back to his laptop’s screen. “and why do you even have time to think of that? we’re literally rushing files” you shrugged and tapped your pen on your desk, trying to get sunoo’s attention more knowing he hates when you’re making those noises everytime he’s working as a “stuco president”
and ofcourse, you did gain his attention. sunoo quickly looked at you with his most fox-like stare ever and you immediately bursted out laughing. “what’s wrong, noo? you look so intense” you joked. sunoo brushed his hair back and exhaled, “what’s wrong? you seem out of it today. you’re usually the one rushing through files but now you seem like you don’t care at all” sunoo was looking straight at your eyes to find answers on his own, but it only showed how naughty you’re being.
“well, tbh im not really in the mood to do all this. we’re at my room, what do you expect? ofcourse i’d feel sleepy and all that stuff” you excused. sunoo brushed his hair back once again, “but we’ve always done stuco duties here? what’s up with you?” he irritatedly said. a smirk crept up your lips and leaned forward on the table.
“hmmm, then what do you say about chilling with me for the mean time? i’ll do all this in an instant tonight.” you suggested. safe to say you saw a glimpse of spark pass through sunoo’s eyes. well, if there’s one person who feels really tired inside your room, its most probably sunoo. “come on pres, aren’t you tired? you’ve been working so hard slack it off” you insisted as you stood up infront of sunoo, with your hands placed around your hips. “are you sure you can finish all this tonight?” he looks at you under his lashes, you could only smile and nod. “come on, noo!” sunoo sighed for the last time before shutting both yours and his laptops down. you smiled and pulled him up and immediately and jokingly pushed him on your bed. not that he minded tho, you’ve always done unquestionable things whenever you feel goofy or excited.
“hmm? what should i play?” you mumble as you scan through your spotify playlist. sunoo only watches as he finds his fingers trailing his hair again. he doesn’t know but he just think it calms him down whenever he does the action. after doing so, he laid his head back and this is what he hates the most inside your room.. your pillows. it feels so soft and it smells so much like you, it doesn’t help that he really finds your smell attractive.
“what’s your perfume? i really like the smell” you turned your head back at sunoo only to find his eyes closed shut. you smiled and started walking up to him as soon as you played the song you’ve been meaning to play since the moment sunoo came inside your room ...or even since last night when you kept on thinking about how to seduce your bestfriend.
song recommendation : click
“hmm? you wanna smell?” you teased and jumped on the bed. sunoo hissed when your bed jiggled, “why are you so excited today?” he asked. you only giggled and placed your head under your pillow. as silence filled your room, he can’t help but watch your room closely. he’d been here a dozen times but this is probably the first time he noticed how your room looks very minimalistic. sunoo kept looking around until his eyes noticed your ass. he was laying against his back and you were laying against your front, giving him the most pretty view of it. a smirk unknowingly crept up your lips when you felt a hand putting a blanket over your waist, it just gave you a hundred more reasons to continue seducing sunoo.
you turned around and sunoo met your eyes. “what?” he asked and its now your turn to hiss. “vampires, real or myth?” you asked. sunoo’s eyebrows forrowed and he tried hard to keep his laugh to himself, “tell me you’re using tiktok way too much without telling me you’re using tiktok way too much” he ended up laughing after that.
as sunoo kept on throwing his head back due to laughing so much, you sat up and started unbottoning your blouse. halfway through it, you definitely gained his attention as he stopped laughing and immediately covered his eyes when he realized you’re being serious with taking it off. “what the hell are you doing?” he questions, panicking. you on the other hand feels enjoyment with how he’s reacting. “come on, sun.. vampires, real or myth?”
“you’re still going on for that?!” he answers, with his big hands still covering his face. sunoo’s cheeks are bright flushed as well as his ears, making you chuckle and he only let out a snicker. “didn’t you say you love watching twilight? you even said its not rated 18 so why are you acting like this? im only asking about vampires...” you say, trying to sound innocent. “but you’re stripping!”
sunoo heard the loudest silence he could ever hear, thus he slowly slid his fingers away from his eyes. he saw you sitting infront of him with your blouse opened but it didn’t reveal anything from you. but lets say, the sudden drop of sunoo’s intense shoulder didn’t go unnoticed by you. “w- what are you doing?” he stutters. you shrugged and gave him the best view of your neck. “you told me i smell nice. come, smell me.” you answers. sunoo shaked his head in confusion, “what? then why did you have to even undo your blouse and ask me if vampires are-”
“id appreciate if you’d keep your pretty mouth shut, pres” you said before shutting sunoo off by pulling his face close to your neck. sunoo felt his lips subtly touch your neck at the sudden action, and he felt amazingly good the moment your perfume tickled his nose. “wow, you smell really good” sunoo compliments as he snuggles more closely to your neck. it felt like he suddenly forgot the distance or border you guys should have.
sunoo felt butterflies errupt inside his stomach when he felt your fingers playing with his hair. “your hair smells good sun” he looked up and stared right in your eyes. “you smell so good” he compliments back. he doesn’t care if he’d sound like a robot in repeat, there’s this warm fuzzy feelings errupting inside him and he can’t seem to handle it well.
silence filled the room once again, both you and sunoo realizing the position you’re currently in. you, sitting straight up while sunoo’s infront looking up at you, giving you the perfect and most ethereal view of his long black lashes, brown honey fox-like eyes, and plump lips. not to mention he has the habit of pouting his lips thus it made his lips look more inviting. “you really are a pretty one, aren’t you?” sunoo smiled as he feels the warmth of your fingers trailing on his neck, “your pretty boy” he says before closing his eyes to meet your lips.
sunoo felt awkward and shy because of how much the realization that he doesn’t know how to kiss slapped him, but you already has your lips on his and he doesn’t want to waste this moment just to say his concerns. you, on the other hand, felt sunoo stiffened under your touch and the kiss feels incredibly wrong. sunoo not only seem clueless with what he’s doing but he also seem like he’s holding himself back way too much, so you gripped his neck tighter and pulled him closer to you. he then felt your hand moving upwards through his hair and felt how you guided his head to the side.
you broke the kiss and the sound of his lips against you made you feel hotter than ever. you two haven’t maked out perfectly yet but sunoo’s lips already looks so red, wet, and puffy. “damn fuck your lips looks so good” you said, getting distracted at the sight. sunoo smiled and his whiskers appeared. “and we have to use that to perfect use, okay?” you raised a brow and he nodded. sunoo’s cheeks later on was filled with a bright red tint.
“it seems like you’re holding yourself way too much, that’s why the kiss isn’t moving pace at all. what’s holding you back?” you honestly questions, sunoo brushed his hair back in shyness and avoided eye contact. “this is the first time i’ve kissed someone, i don’t know what to do and what to not” he answers shyly. you then smiled and held his neck once again, making sunoo look at your eyes. “don’t hold back sun, okay? its okay, i’ll guide you”
you didn’t waste any second as you found yourself smashing his lips on yours the moment he nodded. you didn’t hold back and gave the best make out you could ever give, and it did help sunoo gain confidence as he started swirling his tongue inside your mouth. “enjoying?” you tease and sunoo only humms in response while watching you with half-lidded eyes bitting his bottom lip.
sunoo leaned in desperately and hurriedly captures your lips and this time, he does not only humms but also moans in the kiss. he feels shy and embarrassed but he can’t stop himself from letting all the lewd noises out, not when you’re giving him so much love and attention. “you’re so cute~” he whines at your sudden compliment. he can’t understand but he feels so small and fragile and he totally likes it. sunoo gave the hottest moan when he felt your lips sucking on his skin, there’s this sting of pain coming from it, but the sound of your lips plopping against his neck gave him so much wetness under his pants.
when he can’t handle it anymore, he found his hand pulling you close to his and licked your earlobes. he kept on panting and the hotness of his breath made your skin shiver. “what’s happening, sun?” you asked when you noticed how he kept on whining. and he himself can’t answer that cause even him doesn’t know why he keeps squirming.
with both of your lips swollen from the previous act of intimacy and some evident light red marks on his skin, sunoo muttered, “v- vampires... real” while eyeing your slightly exposed chest. you forrowed your eyebrows and was about to burst out laughing when sunoo jumped making you lay your back down as he hovers on top of you, and with his lips dangerously close to your collarbones. “i don’t know how to do this” he said, looking down at you while breathing heavily, “but i want to suck your skin so bad”
a success smirk laced through your face. sunoo breathes heavily once again, panting while basically hovering above you. he looks like he’s about to cry out of frustration and desperation, so you slowly slid your fingers around the back of his neck and guided him to your sweet spot. “place your lips on my skin, kiss it like how you did earlier, sip it then bite it playfully, not much but enough to leave redness.” you instruct. sunoo kept whining above you and its giving you more ego boost. “come on, sun.. do it”
a moan slip pass your mouth the moment sunoo attached his lip on your skin. it was messy and sloppy, sunoo kept on whining as he grinds himself down on you while he bites and suck on your skin. “i can’t do this anymore, why is this so good?” he said, shaking. you opened your eyes and watched how sunoo squirms above you. he kept bucking his hips forward to get some friction to somehow make him feel good. “ah i can’t do this i can’t do this i can’t do this” he squirms. you then held sunoo’s waist to help him get a steady pace.
even tho you did seduce sunoo, you never thought it’d reach this level. you never thought you’d watch as he shakes above you, as he desperately grinds himself for his own ease, as he kept whining and whining looking all fragile and vulnerable.. sunoo has never acted this way, and getting to see this new side of him, your shoulders’s definitely up high.
“i- i want to do it” you heard sunoo suddenly mumbles. you raised your eyebrow while still helping him grind above you, “i.. i really want to do i want to do it i want to do it... i want to do it” he repeatedly whines. your stomach tightened at the sight infront of you. you just made the most reserved student council president a big wreck of a mess. after the realization, you held sunoo’s hips tighter and used it to support yourself to get up. sunoo kind of stopped grinding himself and watched you sit up while still having him on your lap. he definitely looks like a baby you forever want to tease and take care of.
sunoo closed his eyes and you left a peck near his temples, “you really want to?” you questions and he nodded way too fast. you chuckled and nodded back. “please teach me how.. i don’t know what to do and i want you to feel-” he stopped midway and avoided your gaze. “hmm? feel?” you tease. “sun?” you call. he sighed and said, “feel good. i want to make you feel good”
“okay, but you’d listen well, okay?”
you’re now laying on your back with sunoo standing on the edge of your bed, holding both of your thighs wide open. “please rub your tip along my folds, sun. you can spread my wetness so it wouldn’t be too hard for you to enter” you instruct. sunoo breathed and started rubbing his tip to your folds.
moans from you and sunoo enveloped your room. thank goodness no one’s home, cause whoever may walk pass your room would immediately know what kind of “stuco studies” you and sunoo had been doing for the pass hours. “t- this feels so good, what am i going to do next?” he said, shakiness laced through his sentences. “push your tip in” you mumbled under your breath.
sunoo squirms once again when he felt his tip go in, he was never expecting having sex could feel this good. halfway through it, when he was about to push everything in, you held his hand and stopped him from moving. “don’t push everything in, just use your tip”
sunoo’s innocent when it comes to stuffs like these, he doesn’t know alot of things but he’s definitely not oblivious. he knows what you’re doing and he’s not one bit satisfied nor happy by it. “don’t do this to me” he pleaded. “yah don’t do this...” you giggled and slightly sat up, using your elbows to support yourself, “be a good boy and listen to me. use your tip only and nothing else” sunoo whined, but since he desperately needs some sort of friction and ease, he stood by doing what you instructed him to do. so he started going in and out with only his tip. it does makes him feel good and so are you, but it feels not enough for sunoo and he’s craving for more.
you bit your bottom lip to prevent a smile from forming on your lips. you have your eyes closed shut as sunoo’s desperate whiny moans rings through your ears. “please, please i can’t do this anymore” he pleaded once again, thrusting his hips slowly to prevent himself from going all in. “please, i really can’t do this anymore”
listening to sunoo’s whiny moans continued for some time, you disregarded his every pleads and only thought of your own enjoyment. you heard sunoo sighed deeply and before you know it, he’s now holding you on your hips tightly. sunoo pulled you closer to him and you were so startled by the sudden aggressive move he showed you had to actually open your eyes and look at him confusingly. “what the fuck are you doing sun-”
“please..” he breathes, “please let me have you first. you can do whatever you want after, im all yours..” was the last thing sunoo said before pushing everything in all at once and thrusting rougher than ever.
ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー。
taglist : @flowersforjongseong @sunoodunoo @sunoouz @sunttori @unh0ly-dr3am3r @bloei 🦋
© sunny fucks, 2022. not proofread.
#sunoo smut#kim sunoo smut#sunoo hard thoughts#sunoo hard hours#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#sunnyfucks#i really love this hahshshs
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surprise!!! rubs hands deviously together!!
hi guyth…. more richsnob!oc x meanmechanic!ellie even tho she’s not that mean🥺
wc;cw: 1.6k oooo, smut MDNI!!!, not proofread bc who cares :p, ellie’s a whiny sub im breaking my silence, eating out no cheesecake factory, slight degradation, one pussy slap sorry can’t help myself, nipple play, pain kink lol(scratching), choking mmm, exhibitionism?!😳, no aftercare bc oc is a cunt, some dirty talk bc i’m a loser, dassit real cute
“you’re so gorgeous, honey.”
you were smiling so hard in this dingy, dimly lit bathroom.
“t-thanks.”
you nodded at her, hanging your chanel bag on the doorknob. you slowly unbuttoned your pink, cashmere celine sweater, hanging it on the hook on the bathroom door. and she watched your every move. ellie’s stuttering made you smile harder as you slowly walked towards her, your glittery heels clicking on the tile. she was looking you up and down, eyeing your lace bra-covered chest. you could hear her breaths pick up in pace with every step you took, and you loved how nervous you made her. you were going to swallow her whole, eat her alive, rip her apart—
“are we… are we gonna have sex in here?” ellie whispered, her breath brushing your cheesing face.
“‘m not fucking you, you’re filthy. would’ve fucked you in my bed but you wanted to be a stubborn bitch and try to embarrass me,” you said with a bright grin, but your tone was sinister. she shuddered and you saw the blush across her freckles get deeper.
“‘m sorry—“
“be quiet. no you’re not,” your smile dropped as your stare harderend. her breath caught in her throat at your tone. “you hurt my feelings, y’know that right? you denied me in public, i couldn’t believe it.”
she looked so cute: she was staring at the floor, her thighs were squeezing together through her dirty, grease-stained jeans, her fingers twitching, and fuck, you wanted her so bad. you were so wet.
“look at me, baby.”
her eyes flickered to yours, slowly and dazedly blinking like a kitty signing i love you! fuck, you love her, you love her—!
you leaned forward like you were going to kiss her, her eyes fluttering shut and parting her lips like she wanted your tongue inside her fucking throat. but you stopped her. “take your pants off, honey.”
her eyes slowly peered open to look down at your lips before she snapped herself out of her daze, kicking her boots off and reaching to undo her belt before shoving them down her legs. and you just watched.
“get up there,” you said as you nodded your head towards the sink and counter by the wall. she almost tripped over her own feet(and boots) as she rushed over, jumping to sit on top of it.
you walked over to her and she automatically parted her legs so you could stand in between them, propping herself up on her hands behind her. she was showing you the little wet stain on her green boyshorts. she’s so cute!
“should’ve left that fucking door open, hm? so everybody can watch you be a disgusting fucking slut?” you whispered in her face as you glared at her.
she flinched at your tone, but her hips bucked up to lightly brush against your thighs with a whine. you scolded her with a sharp don't fuckin’ touch me. her eyes got teary, but she listened.
“should i open that fucking door?”
she shook her head fast with a pout on her pink lips.
“answer properly.”
“…no,” she said shyly. she looked up at you with gentle eyes, giving you cute touch me, please! make me feel good! eyes.
you smirked at her before reaching behind your neck, unclasping your 18K white gold diamond chanel necklace and put it around her neck. she whimpered and bit her lip before licking them.
“yeah? like being pretty? you’re so fuckin’ pretty, ellie.” you cooed at her, slowly dragging your hands to her chest so you could grab her tits through her tee. it was filthy, but you didn’t care because she threw her head back, her bandana slipping off her damp head and onto the sink. all you had to do was grab it and tie her fucking hands together and make her—
“touch me please, fuck, want you to touch me s’bad,” she slurred out quietly, bringing her mouth up to kiss you but you moved back, grabbing her throat in your manicured hand. she moaned at your tightening grip, her eyes fluttering. fuckherfuckherfuckher—
she had a small grimace on her face like she was preparing for a scolding, but all you did was kiss her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, all while you choked her out. you felt her grinding down hard on the counter.
“want me to make you cum?” you whispered in her ear before you licked it.
“need you t’make me cum, need you need you, m’yours,” she gasped out.
and you released her to drop into a squat, right in front of her clothed pussy. you grabbed the elastic of her boyshorts and ripped them off. damn near tore them to shreds to get them down her legs. and you almost creamed yourself at the sight of her cunt, all wet and twitchy and yours.
so pretty! you thought. ruin her, make her bruise!
“pleeasse, pleasepleaseplease,” she desperately whispered out.
“please what?”
“make me cum, w’na cum for you, all over you,” she said between choked gasps. you didn’t even touch her, yet!
and you gave her that sugary sweet smile you always have on when you see her before leaning forward to give her clit a slow kitten lick. her thighs jerked up to spread her legs more, but you dug your nails into them to bring them back down. she moaned out again. fucking painslut. you dug them in harder, and she got wetter on your tongue.
“want me t’hurt you, baby?” you moaned out against her, and she shook her head yesyesyes before you could even finish speaking.
“don’t touch me, you understand?” you whispered against her. she nodded faster.
“say you understand, ellie.”
“iunderstandiunderstand!”
you grinned as you pressed a glossy kiss on her swollen clit before you pulled her to the edge of the counter by her thighs, sucking her clit into your mouth without warning.
you heard her let out a quiet mhm! when you hummed at her taste and her smell, reaching a hand up to raise her white tee up and over her tits. you slapped one of them before bringing your hand back to her thigh.
“touch ‘em for me, i’m busy,” you muttered against her before diving in again, flicking your tongue on her bud. she was a mess above you: head thrown back, lip between her teeth so she wouldn’t scream out, grabbing and pulling at her nipples with grease-stained hands while your necklace shimmered under the dirty lights, all while she bucked up against your face to get your tongue deeper.
you were swirling your tongue and sucking on her as quickly as you could manage. you still had to get your fucking car!
“ffuuuck, ‘m right there—!”
“yeah, honey? gonna cum?” you hummed against her, right on her clit.
“m-mhm! shit, ‘m gonna cum so fast—“
and there was a knock on the door, a male voice shouting out. “yo, ellie! you in there?”
and she jumped. she tried to close her legs and run, but you held her down to suck on her clit harder. you watched her eyes roll back into her skull as she almost fell forward.
“we gotta charge that rich girl for her window repairs!” the same voice yelled out, knocking harder.
so you sucked on her harder, sloppy noises filling the grungy bathroom. she was whining out quiet uhhuuhs while she bucked up against your mouth in attempts to ride your face. you felt her pussy tensing and all you could think was minemineminemineshesfuckingmine—
“did you see that fuckin’ necklace she was wearin’? it looked like it was weighin’ her down!”
and you felt ellie freeze up before a squeal of fuck‘mcumming! left her mouth as she fell back on the counter, her pussy tensing and releasing on your tongue. her slick poured out of her pussy, and you slurped it all, sloppily licking up her juices as you shook your head between her trembling thighs. she was moaning your name along with fucks and yes’s with her head thrown back as her hands held the edge of the counter, and you watched it all. you loved it all. fuck, you’re going to marry her—
you hummed in satisfaction, and she jerked in overstimulation. she whined out at your incessant sucks before you released her, slapping her clit hard before standing. your knees snapped; this was the hardest you worked in your life!
“ellie, what the fuck?! are you good?!” the male voice yelled out from the other side.
the girl didn’t reply and you laughed at her slumped, gasping form, her pussy still twitching lightly due to how hard she came. the little devil on your shoulder snickered at you, patting your shoulder in hysteria. you laughed harder with her.
you turned and walked back to the door grabbing your sweater to put it on before snatching your purse off the knob. hm, you never locked the door. you’re glad you didn’t!
you opened it and walked out, making sure to block ellie’s… state on the counter. you shut it and turned, making eye contact with an intimidated, shocked young man. jesse, his tag read. he was also dirty, you hated it.
“hi! i heard my car was ready?” you said brightly, masking your disdain. your girlfriend's pussy juice was still on your lips.
“um… yes. the pink bentley with the smashed window?” he stuttered out as his blush deepened.
“mhm! will you ring me up?” you asked sweetly, pulling out your black card and handing it to him, and he nodded slowly as he took it.
what a fun first date!
meep c:
p3 to this.
#richsnob!oc#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie wiliams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams blurb#the last of us#ellie williams#lesbian#mechanic!ellie ˚. ᵎᵎ#works 𖧧࣪
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Confessional Feelings
Alec Hardy x GN!Reader
Summary: You find your feelings for Alec exposed after running into him after his date.
CW: serious pining, angst, eventual fluff tho
Broadchurch tag list: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
You shouldn’t be out here, you know. You know this. Alec had requested that everyone take safety measures when there’d been yet another predator marked as on the loose and actively looking for crimes to commit. And yet here you were.
Alec was on a date. You’d thought that maybe if you were great at your job and made yourself available to him for whatever he needed, he might get a clue and ask you out. That would be nice. You’d had feelings for him since he’d arrived in Broadchurch. You’d seen right through his irritable surface to the soft gooey centre. Not that you’d told him that you’d taken to calling him a Mars Bar or anything. You don’t think he’d care for that.
But he was on a date tonight, and you just needed to go for a walk to clear your head about the whole thing. You had to at least try and get him off your mind. For a few hours, anyway, until you saw him at work in the morning. At least he wasn’t the chatty type. You weren’t sure if you would have been able to handle hearing him talk about his date all day.
Turning the corner, you walk right smack back into someone coming the other way. You yelp, and the person shouts. Though it sounds distinctly familiar. Pressing your hand to your chest, you blink a few times to try and wash the shock away. When your vision clears, you see none other than the object of your feelings and the reason for your very late stroll standing before you.
“Jesus, what’re you doin’ out here so late?” Alec asks shortly, still getting over the shock himself. He looks angry, but you think that’s just because you’ve scared each other half to death. “Och, what have I said? There’s a- a killer!”
Your mouth gapes open and shut a couple of times, trying to find the words.
“Going for a walk,” you settle, waving your arms as if that was obvious. Alec blinks, and before he can open his mouth, you blurt, “how was the date? I- uh, your date, I mean. That you were just on. That you’re coming from.”
“Fine,” is his response. “It was fine, yep- good.”
You cock a brow in silent question. Alec sighs and pinches his nose.
“Just, not- Oh, I don’t know. Y’ken what I mean,” he attempted. A flush was creeping up his cheeks. You shook your head, no. “Oh, look, we just didn’t click.”
“Right,” you trailed off slowly, a blush creeping up your own cheeks now. That meant there was still a chance. Possibly. Of course, for there to be a chance, Alec had to be interested.
Alec chewed on his lip awkwardly for a moment.
“Can I walk you home, then?”
You nodded without hesitation. Alec gestured for you to lead the way. You turned around to go back the way you came. Maybe this was your chance to confess how you felt.
“So, why didn’t you click?” You asked. “With your date.”
Alec sighs, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. It’s something he does when he’s nervous, you’ve noticed.
“I dunno,” he replies at first, as though thinking about what to say. “Sounds horrible to say, but, she just didn’t interest me.” Alec seemed to be growing more anxious by the second.
“I get that,” you comfort quietly, kicking at a pebble on the path. The cool night air makes you shiver, and Alec shrugs out of his jacket to place around your shoulders. He averts your gaze when you pull it around yourself tighter. It doesn’t fit the whole way around, what with him being a complete beanpole, but the warmth seeping through the coat into your skin was heavenly nonetheless.
You snuggle tighter into the coat. You swear Alec smiles to himself, but when you look to check it’s gone. Almost like he’s hiding it from you.
You walk in silence for a couple more minutes, hands almost brushing as you do so. He’s straying closer to you than usual. Maybe it’s the cold, maybe he’s subconsciously moving closer for warmth now you’ve unintentionally stolen his coat. But the way his forefinger brushes against the back of your hand tells you otherwise. Oh, this might be your time to shine.
“Can I-”
“Look, I-”
You both speak over each other, and you purse your lips shut, forcing yourself to stay quiet and let him go first.
“Sorry, erm- do you mind if I?”
You gesture to go ahead. The pace slows as you get closer to your house, only a few numbers up. Alec looks like he’s fidgeting on the spot, nervous energy fizzling out of him like a shaken soda.
“So, this date, erm-” the man rubs at his cheeks as if trying to give himself strength. “It didn’t work because, well…”
You’re trying to dissect him with your eyes, whole being hinged on the hope that he’s about to say. He stumbles over his words for a few more moments before you put him out of his misery.
“I- are you trying to say you have… feelings for me?” You’re almost too terrified to hear the answer, your heart feels like it's lodged in your throat, chest swelling like a balloon.
Alec looks at you, looks away and then chews on his bottom lip for a moment.
“S’pose that’s what I’m tryin’ t’say, yes.”
You cannot help the splitting grin that spreads its way across your cheeks. Alec looks embarrassed as he rubs the back of his neck. You haven’t been as overjoyed as you are at this moment for a very long time.
“Are you joshing me right now?” That would not be cool.
“I-no, sorry- I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No,” you say, holding a hand up to stop him right there. “I-I’m glad you did. I, uh,” a nervous giggle bubbles out. “Have feelings for you too.”
“Oh, y’do? Wasn’t expecting that,” a small smile is spreading over his face too now. A pretty thing.
You stop in front of the gateway to your house. Alec hovers as if not sure what to say.
“I do,” you reiterate, blush flushing up your skin. “And I’d really like to, um, kiss you. If you wanted?”
Alec doesn’t waste any time, surging in to press his lips to yours. One hand raises to brush against your cheek, the other to hold you by the back of the neck, keeping you locked together in your embrace. You melt into him, lips moving back against his own.
The coat falls from your shoulders and Alec breaks away with a smile. A real, genuine smile. He reaches down to pick the coat back up.
“Would you, uh- wow- I can’t believe that just happened,” you giggle uncontrollably. “Would you like to come in? Just for a cup of tea? Oh, please say yes.”
“Oh, I’d love to. Come quick now, let's get you in out of the cold, eh?”
You nod agreeably, bounding up the steps and unlocking the door. Alec follows, folding the coat over his arm.
You get about halfway through making that cup of tea before the both of you are making out in the kitchen, Alec having you pressed up against the counter. After months of pining, you really can’t believe this was happening.
It really made you wish you’d cleaned your bedroom this morning. Not that Alec seemed to mind, given that both of your clothes ended up all over the floor anyway by the time midnight rolled around.
#broadchurch s3#broadchurch s2#alec hardy x reader#alec hardy fanfic#alec hardy#broadchurch#david tennant#alec hardy fanfiction#alec hardy one shot#alec hardy imagine#alec hardy x you#alec hardy broadchurch#alec hardy fic#broadchurch fanfic#broadchurch alec hardy#broadchurch fanfiction#di alec hardy#alec hardy imagines#alec hardy drabble#alec hardy x reader insert#inside man#david tennant fanfiction#david tennant x reader#david tennant imagines#alec hardy x yn#alec hardy x gn!reader#alec hardy oneshot#bbc broadchurch#broadchurch show
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Talent vs Hard Work
This is part 2, for Part 1 click here
Bebe!Bada x WolfLo!reader
CW: reconciliation first fluffy then smutty... (yall wanted it that way.... tho me too tbh) MDNI
AN: Thank you for your support for this random two-shot, it really means a lot to me! So enjoy this!
“Don’t forget that I loved dancing first, Bada Lee! All of what you are now is because of me! You may have talent, but you would never have found it, if it wasn’t for me! I built both of our careers. But honestly? I wish I would have never taken you dancing. We both would have regular lives; all of this shit would have never happened. Maybe you would have actually proposed today…”
“I guess we will never know.”, Bada said quietly.
You sighed. “I love dancing. I really do. But before I loved dancing, I loved you.”, you whispered then.
Bada looked at you then, pain in her eyes. “Then why did you always hold me back? Why did you never share my ambitions? You always talked me out of taking advanced classes… I thought we wanted to become a famous duo together?”
You looked away ashamed. She was right. “Because I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to dance with you. And when you became so good that you could take the advanced classes, I knew I couldn’t, because I don’t have your talent. You would find new friends; we would have grown apart. I didn’t want that. I wanted to keep you to myself. I was selfish like that.”, you admitted.
“So, you wanted to me be unhappy?”
“No! I want you to be happy. But I thought I could be the sole reason for your happiness…”
“But you always were! I wanted nothing more than being successful with you, dancing with you. You are the reason I fell in love with dancing. If I had started dancing alone, I don’t think I would have fallen in love with it. But when you changed… when you began being passive aggressive about my dancing, I felt like you began to hate me. It broke my heart.”, Bada said and sat down on one of the sofas. Reluctantly you sat down next to her on the couch. “I thought if I get you to stop dancing, I get both, a career I love and my best friend who I loved.”
“That’s why you said all those things?”, you asked.
Bada nodded. “Stupid, if I think about it. Why would you stay my friend if I bullied you out of dancing?”
“We both were stupid. Why would you stay my friend if I caged you and limited you?”
Bada then grinned a little, it was a tired and sad smile. She looked at you and shoved you a little with her shoulder.
“What was that for?”, you pouted.
“Wanna know a secret?”, Bada asked.
You nodded.
“I never liked the word ‘friend’ when it came to us.”, Bada whispered.
“Yeah me neither…”, you blushed. “Bada?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think we can start over?”
“Do you really want to? I don’t want to start over…”, Bada said.
“Oh… ok…”, you whispered and looked down.
Bada took your hand then. “I don’t want to start over, I don’t want ignore what we had. Because what we had was great. And the last ten years… maybe we needed that to grow as people independently. But now we found eachother again. I believe if we accept what happened and work through it, we can be stronger… together.”
You laced your fingers with hers and looked at her with tears in your eyes. “Please don’t leave me again. I can’t do this shit again.”
Bada cupped your chin and kissed your tears away, before putting her forehead to yours. “I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”, she whispered and kissed your lips, almost desperately.
You leaned into it. You both kissed to convey the words neither of you could say. But Bada suddenly broke off the kiss. You wanted to protest until she showed you your hand, that she still held with hers. Around your wrist was a blue and purple bracelet. You noticed the same on hers.
“You still had them?”, you gasped.
“Yeah. I couldn’t bring it over myself to throw them away.”, Bada whispered and kissed your wrist. “I’m glad I didn’t. That way I can keep my promise from ten years ago.”
“Your promise?”
“I said I would propose in ten years.”
Your eyes got big. “Bada!”
“Would you like to be my girlfriend?”, she asked softly and before she had even finished her sentence, you were eagerly nodding.
“Yes, Bada, I would.”
She kissed you again, deeper this time. She let go of your hand in favor of letting her hands roam over your sides, while your arms wrapped around her neck. You both chuckled briefly, as you clumsily moved to sit in her lap. As soon as you had straddled her, Bada’s hands moved to cup your ass and pull you as close as possible against her. You grinned and paid her back by sucking on her tongue. A low moan escaped Bada’s throat. But before the tall woman could react, you had already found your next target: Bada’s neck; and you were rewarded immediately by Bada moaning your name.
Her head fell back to give you full access to her neck. “You don’t know how often I thought about doing this…”
After a moment of just enjoying your affections, she decided it was her turn now. One hand in your hair, she pulled your head to the side, so that she could return the favor and hungrily attacked your throat with lips, teeth, and tongue. Your moans were music in Bada’s ears, so her hand danced deliberately up to cup your breast. Soon you were a panting and moaning mess because of her efforts, your hips were bucking restlessly in desperate search for something, anything.
“Bada… please…”, you breathed out, not quite sure what exactly you were asking for, you just wanted more. More of everything. More of her.
Bada seemed to understand though, she could always read your mind. Both of her hands moved down and expertly opened your pants just enough so that her hand could slip in. Bada’s fingers were immediately met with your wetness.
“Shit, baby… you need me that much?”, she whispered then, against your lips.
You nodded shyly when you saw her smirk. Bada’s fingers left your pants again, but before you could protest you saw her putting her finger into her mouth. “I needed a taste. Since we don’t have time for the whole thing now.”, she whispered.
Then her hand slipped into your pants again. You held your breath when she ran her finger along your heat, always stopping just before touching your clit. She definitely enjoyed teasing you. But Bada wasn’t the most patient person and soon she gave in to her desires and slipped her finger into you. It was hard for her to control herself, but she wanted to give you at least a moment to adjust. But she found, you didn’t even need that. Because as soon as she was inside of you, you started rolling your hip, chasing that sparkly feeling inside of your stomach. Bada decided a second finger couldn’t hurt, and she was right. Soft moans fell from your lips, that she drunk in with her own.
Meanwhile she started to thrust a little rougher, losing herself in the feeling of you clenching around her fingers. Her palm was rubbing against your clit, only adding to your pleasure.
Damn you, Bada. Why was she so talented at this too?
Your kisses were all teeth and tongue by now. She was helping you ride her fingers, by grasping and guiding your hip. Bada could feel you clenching harder and harder, indicating that you were close.
“Cum for me, baby. Please.”, she muttered into your ear.
Almost on command you came, with a soft scream that Bada quickly silenced with a kiss. A few erratic jerks with your hips later, you sank against her exhausted. Gently Bada pulled her fingers out and tenderly rubbed your back.
“You did so well.”, she whispered as you hid your face in the crook of her neck, panting harshly.
“We should get back…”, you mumbled after you had caught your breath and pulled away, even though you wanted nothing more than staying like this forever.
You gasped when you saw a giant purple spot on Bada’s neck. “Oh shit! I think I got carried away.”
Bada’s thumb ran over your throat as well. “Me too.”
You wrapped Bada’s Bebe scarf around her neck to hide the hickey and Bada did the same for you with your WolfLo scarf.
Both of you got up, you were noticeably wobbly on your legs, so Bada grabbed your hand, that you wouldn’t fall.
“Tonight, you will get all of this and more back.”, you hissed, noticing your soreness between your legs.
“I’m looking forward to it.”, she whispered into your ear.
Hand in hand you walked downstairs to the fight zone again. All of the dancers looked at you two, as they all have been waiting. Bada squeezed your hand one last time, before you had to let go to walk over to your own crew.
Arriving there Haechi grinned smugly. “You really took reconciling to a whole other level.”
You laughed. “Shut up and let me be happy. I have a girlfriend now, what do you have?”
You looked over to Bebe and Bada was already gazing at you, smiling fondly. You smiled back.
In the end, in every fight, love will always win.
#swf#swf2#bada lee#bada lee swf#bada lee x reader#bada lee x y/n#swf2 smut#swf2 x reader#team bebe#bada lee smut
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for the request (if you would like to do this ofc!!! <333) maybe you could write something abt being a sweet housewife for sevika? all i have been doing is thinking abt her nonstop :((
YOUR SWEET HOUSEWIFE. sevika x reader
description. little drabble about being sevika's sweet little housewife who cooks her favorite meal
cw. lowercase writing intended, sfw content, fluffy things, reader is a certified housewife, sevika wants a piece of her tho
moss' notes. who wouldn't wanna be a housewife for sevika honestly??? moss sure would love it :D thank you for requesting anonie, this is a little bit short, hope you don't mind
the delicious smell of dinner that was going on a low flame in the kitchen circled the apartment as you stood in the living room in front of a pile of freshly washed and dried clothes. you hummed quietly while you folded them into perfect squares and rectangles before dividing them into different piles like pants, long sleeves, and such.
you heard the click of the front door and excitement run through your body, pushing the laundry to the side you hurried to the little hallway. you jumped a bit when it closed with a loud bang, revealing sevika who you assumed had a rather rough day.
"welcome home, love." you smiled brightly at sevika, reaching to help her take the cape from around her shoulders down. she looked a little under the weather, maybe even those circles under her eyes came back faintly you worked so hard to get rid of.
"dinner is almost ready if you're hungry." you said, kneeling down to help er take those heavy combat boots off. she always got so frustrated trying to un-do the ties so you helped her everytime.
and it was obvious that when she finally laid eyes on your beautiful body dressed in her favorite dress you owned with a pretty apron over it. your delicate hands getting rid of the tight knot and loosening the neck of the boots so she could easily slip her feet out of it. you patted the nose of her shoe before standing up and pressing a tender kiss on her face.
sevika grabbed onto your waist, pulling you closer to her strong frame before leaning down to "my beautiful wife, cooking me dinner, it gets me every time." she whispered into your ear, one of her hands sliding down gingerly before digging into your ass.
"hey!" you pulled away, slapping her side playfully with a slightly annoyed look on your face. "you just came home and you are already this naughty, sevika!" your wife pouted, extending her arms like a baby and making grabbing motions. you shook your head, taking one of her hands and leading her over to the dining table and showing her the setup table.
"what can i say, my wife, you are the sweetest piece of cake." sevika grinned at you, not letting go of your hand as she sat down in her chair in front of the table. her fingers looped into the tie of the apron, twisting it and pulling you over on her lap.
shaking your head after she pulled the loop of the apron over it, "can we actually eat before you harass me into sleeping with you?" you asked, dragging your nails gently up and down on the length of her arm.
"hm, alright." sevika hummed, leaning back in her chair and letting go of you. muttering a quick 'thanks' you jumped from her lap and headed inside the kitchen to bring the pot filled with sevika's favorite food to the middle of the table.
your wife laughed as she saw the food being served on her plate, picking her fork up and pointing at you. "did i forget something that it's my favorite?" sevika asked, watching as you pulled the wine opener from your end of the table and stabbed the cork, pulling it out with a loud pop.
"can't i cook for my wife her favorite food without any special occasion?" you said as you walked to her side of the table, picking her glass up. there really was no special reason why you cooked her favorite, it has been a long time since you prepared it for her and you had no other idea. "so you do want to sleep with me."
"eat your dinner, dear." you pointed at her plate with the wine glass in your hand before placing it next to her plate. sevika gave you a flirty wink before digging in her carefully made food, moaning but because it tasted good or to tease you remained a secret throughout the whole night.
#📼 › moss tapes#arcane x reader#sevika x reader#arcane sevika x reader#sevika fanfic#sevika sfw#sevika fluff
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Object of Desire [18+]
You had to ask your crush for a favor.
Vanitas x Vampire!F!Reader
3,325 words
cw: SMUT, nsfw, unprotected sex, scary elements??? not bad tho, blood drinking, biting
note: i tried lmfao pls tell me what you think ilu
The sky looking as beautiful as it did, with the bright sun and a sea of undisturbed blue, would normally put you in the best of moods as you made your way towards Hôtel Chouchou, where you worked. There was a haste in your step, your short heels clicking against the concrete as you swerved in and out around other passerbys.
"Amelia." Your sudden call of your friend's name as you entered the hotel made the woman jump in slight fright, her face growing concerned once she saw you. The vampire put down what she was doing, her eyebrows pinched in worry.
"What's wrong?"
Grabbing her wrist, you dragged Amelia to the nearest stairwell, making sure no one was around before you whipped to face her, making the woman jump again.
"Wh-what's wrong?" she asked again, getting a bit freaked out. "Do you need blood?"
You shook your head, your heart hammering in your chest. "I need to ask you something, Amelia, and I'm sorry but it will make you uncomfortable..." You hated to have to bring this up with her, knowing just what she had been through, but it was urgent, and you feared you would run out of time. "It has to do with... curse bearers."
Amelia gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth in shock as she stepped back away from you. "Are you...?"
"No! No," you shook your head, already feeling tears burn in your eyes. "It's my sister... I think she may have become one. She's been acting strange lately, feeling sick and just..." you worried your bottom lip, Amelia frowning as she hugged herself. "I'm so sorry... you're the only one I could turn to..."
"You want me to ask Vanitas to help your sister?" Amelia figured it out quickly and you nodded your head in affirmation.
"Like, he knows you, Amelia. I've only seen him around the hotel, so I didn't think I could ask him outright..."
"Honey... It's what he does. He will help you and you know it." Amelia grabbed your hand, giving it a tight squeeze."But I'll take you to him."
You sighed in relief. "Thank you."
"So your sister is a curse bearer, hm?" the black haired man before you asked, putting a hand to his chin in thought. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, face heating up as you tried not to stare too hard at the handsome doctor before you. You looked over to his companion, a man with brown skin and white hair, who looked concerned as you told them about your sister.
"And when did you say your sister started to behave strangely?" Noé asked.
"I'd say around a week ago," you answered with a frown. "I told her something was wrong, but she just ignored me."
"She's probably afraid," Vanitas commented, crossing his arms over his chest. He turned to you, his hourglass earring tinkling very faintly. "And I'm sure she has become a curse bearer."
Even though you already knew it deep down, Vanitas' declaration was still a shock to you, and it took you all of your strength to stop yourself from begging him.
"Please, monsieur, help my sister."
It didn't take much convincing for Vanitas to agree to help you, and soon you were leading the two men to your home you shared with your sister. Against your request, Amelia walked with you, wanting to be of support.
"See, I told you he would help you. You just need to stop being so shy," Amelia said with a smile, ignoring your pointed glare at her as you two walked on. Amelia just giggled softly holding your hand. "You should talk to him more after this. How else would you get close to him?"
"Shut up," you hissed, glancing back over your shoulder. The men were talking to each other, oblivious to the conversation. Yeah, it was true that you admired Vanitas from afar, and how could you not? He was beautiful, and you just knew in your heart that his blood had to be delicious. "Says the one who always has heart eyes for Noé."
Amelia squeaked and you just smirked at her, turning your nose up as you led the party the rest of the way to your home. It was modest and quaint, perfect for two women to live together.
"Here we are, she should still be in bed," you said as you led them inside, fretting a bit as you called to your sister. "Souer, I have someone here who could help you." You walked into her bedroom, frowning when she didn't answer your call, and seeing that she wasn't in bed.
"She's not here," Noé commented, looking around concerned. Your heart started to hammer again as you frantically started to look around the house. You checked the washroom, your own bedroom, and had just opened your closet door when you heard Amelia scream from your kitchen. You sprinted there, nearly knocking the men over as you burst into the kitchen.
The sight there made your heart drop. Amelia was sobbing, covering her face with her hands. Noé gently grabbed her to comfort her, while you and Vanitas stared at your sister. She was huddled on the floor of the kitchen, her nightdress disheveled, hair in a disarray and her face twisted in such a way, it terrified you. You stepped back, the sounds coming from your sister's mouth as her fangs glistened dangerously shaking you to your core.
"Alright," Vanitas started, stepping up to the vampired with not a drop of fear in him. He pulled out a strange grimoire, and one glance at it already had you knowing exactly what it was. Vanitas smirked, staring down your sister with those piercing blue eyes of his. His grin had grown wider, showing off his sharp teeth. "Come get me."
Your sister let out an ear piercing screech, jumping up and coming right for the doctor. You couldn't help but turn your back and fall to your knees, screwing your eyes shut and covering your ears with your hands to muffle out any noise.
You stayed like that for a while, whimpering and just waiting for it to be over. Then, there were arms hugging around you, and you gasped when you looked up and saw your beautiful sister, back to normal and smiling down at you.
"I've restored to you your true name," Vanitas said, closing the Book of Vanitas and setting it away. He watched as you gently touched your sister's face, eyes swimming with tears. "Now that that's done, we have to- oof!"
As he spoke, you had shot up to your feet, storming over and pulling Vanitas into a tight hug. He froze in your arms while the others were shocked, watching with wide eyes.
"Thank you so much," you whispered as you held him tight, still crying as your sister covered her mouth and giggled softly.
"You'll have to excuse her... she's always been a bit too bold..." she said as you pulled away, smiling at Vanitas brightly.
"I don't know how I can thank you properly," you said to him, getting over any of the shyness you had around him. "You saved her life. Thank you so much."
Vanitas just waved his hand dismissively, stepping away. "You don't have to thank me at all. It is my job to help the vampires."
"We should go," Noé said, Amelia having calmed down some. "Amelia needs to rest and I'm sure your sister needs it too."
You nodded, going back to tend to her while Noé led Amelia out your home. Vanitas followed them, stopping to give you one last lingering look before continuing on.
The incident was obviously reported to Count Orlock, who then proceeded to place your sister to work as a live-in maid at the hotel, just like Amelia. You didn't like that, and you missed having your sister live with you at home, but there wasn't much you could do about it.
So you just went on with life, a few weeks passing by without incident. You worked hard as usual, always happy to see Vanitas and Noé (and Murr) whenever you got the chance to. You still felt a bit shy around Vanitas, and he was a rather interesting character to be around, to say the least. Still, you did try to get to know all of them, happy that you had new friends in your life.
You still had that silly crush on Vanitas. That wasn't going away any time soon, even with how annoying he actually was. But it was enough to make you laugh, make you like him more.
"You are so annoying," you gritted your teeth at him one night after your shift was done. You were just going to walk home, but Vanitas just had to invite himself to walk with you. "I can walk by myself."
"Nonsense! What kind of gentleman would I be if I left a weak, unsuspecting woman to trek in the darkness by her lonesome!" Vanitas responded, putting a hand to his chest in a dramatic fashion. You glared at him, briefly wondering why you even liked him.
"I can and will kill you right now, Vanitas."
"Oh, but you would miss me too much, non?"
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest as you continued on your walk home. The banter between you and the human continued until you made it home, frowning as you grabbed your keys.
"The house seems way bigger now that my sister doesn't live here anymore," you said with a deep sigh. "I know I get to see her every day, but I can't sleep peacefully now that I'm alone..."
"Maybe you should rent your room out?" Vanitas suggested and you wrinkled your nose at him.
"Ew, no. I don't want anyone in my house."
Your response earned a loud burst of laughter from the doctor, his head thrown back. Your eyes zeroed in on his neck, and you wondered... would he?
You shook your head quickly, looking over when you heard a commotion from your neighbors. A woman had fallen, and had cut herself on her leg. You didn't have a huge hunger for blood or anything like that, but the sight of it still made your mouth water. It wasn't like you needed it, but you still wanted to desperately sink your fangs into the neck of the man beside you.
"Goodnight, Vanitas. Thanks for walking me home," you said quickly, wanting to get away quickly.
"Damn, you want me gone that quick? I should be insulted, right?"
"It's not that," you replied, looking back at him. He took in the heated look on your face, and his lips twitched up a bit. "I just don't think you'd appreciate me attacking you right now."
"Wow! You are bold!" Vanitas exclaimed, excitement on his face. "But I don't think you get to decide that, right, mademoiselle?"
Your eyebrows shot up before you scoffed, walking into your home. "Just leave." You tried to close the door, but Vanitas just pushed it right back open, giving you a look that sent chills down your spine.
"I don't want to." Vanitas slammed your door shut, and you watched as he turned the lock. He then started to stalk towards you, making you step back quickly until you hit the wall. "Let's stop dancing around each other. We're not at the hotel now," he continued on, leaning in close and pressing his hands against the wall. You were trapped now, Vanitas' blue eyes now staring into yours, pinning you in place. "There's no need to hold back, right?"
You gulped, your mouth falling open some as you breathed heavily. Your fangs protruded a bit, your heart pounding as you took in Vanitas' scent. Here he was, serving himself on a silver platter. Vanitas put a hand to your cheek and you whimpered softly, face getting hot. Not only was your thirst for his blood got stronger, but your longing for him did as well, your body trembling. Still, you couldn't hold yourself together for too long, and you grabbed Vanitas' coat, pulling him in and pressing your lips to his.
You felt him smirk against your lips before he kissed you back, and you didn't expect such ferocity and heat from him. It left you breathless, your body slumping against the wall as he pulled back after a moment. "You taste so sweet..." Vanitas purred into your ear, gripping onto your hip tightly. You gasped, letting Vanitas lead you from against the wall to your bedroom.
He made himself quite comfortable on your bed, pulling you down to straddle his lap. He pulled you into another heavy kiss, his hands moving up and down your back before they traveled the rest of your body. Your entire body burned, his hands working wonders even through your clothes.
Your need for him just grew, and as you tried to get him to undress, Vanitas stopped you, easily overpowering you to now have you on his lap again a few moments later, completely nude, while he was still dressed.
"That's not fair..." you complained, moaning softly as Vanitas kissed along your jaw and neck. His actions were enough to turn your brain to mush, making you forget it all as he claimed your mouth again, hands fondling your sensitive breasts. You panted, head tilting back, breaking the kiss but Vanitas just proceeded to kiss on your chest.
Grabbing the collar of his shirt, you just couldn't take it anymore. Vanitas pressed his hand to the back of your head, pressing your face against his neck. Moaning, you wasted no time and sunk your fangs into his skin, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
You were right. Vanitas was delicious, his warm blood pouring into your mouth. Vanitas had moaned, his body going rigid as his face twisted into one of pleasure, his face flushed red. You pulled away, licking your lips clean as you took in his face. You were sure yours looked the same, and with a hand pressed to his chest to make him look at you, you lost all sorts of manners and decorum as you spoke.
"Vanitas... I need you to fuck me."
"Tch," Vanitas' smile was almost mad as he grabbed your face, maneuvering you around until you were on your back, legs spread and looking oh so divine. You were shaking with anticipation, watching Vanitas unfasten his pants, pulling them down just enough to expose himself to you. Your mouth watered at the sight of him, body trembling at the mere thought of having him fill you up.
"That look on your face drives me crazy," Vanitas groaned, stroking himself a few times and marveling at how your chest heaved up and down. He licked his lip, pressing a thumb to your clit and chuckling when your hips bucked, a low moan leaving your delicious mouth. "I love it when people so put together lose themselves like this... hm..."
"Vanitas..." you whined, his slow, teasing rolls of his thumb on your clit not nearly enough to ease your growing need. "Please, hurry up..."
Vanitas tutted at you, shaking his head. "I let you drink my blood. The least you can do is let me play with you for a bit." His grin was wicked, eyes shining in want and amusement as you whined and fidget underneath him. It sure was a sight to see. He still circled your clit with his thumb, his other hand keeping your legs open as he continued to play with you, watching you writhe as your sweet moans filled the air.
Your mind was hazy, vision blurred with tears at Vanitas' teasing. You sucked in a breath, the coil of pleasure growing slowly in your belly while Vanitas leaned down to kiss on your chest again, laving at your breasts. Glancing down, you see the two puncture holes you bit into his neck, that hunger and thirst rearing its head again.
You couldn't take this anymore. He was going to kill you at this rate. Groaning deeply, your eyes flashed red and you flipped him over, Vanitas now on his back with you straddling him, hands on his chest. He grinned up at you.
"I've had enough of your teasing," you hissed at him, reaching down between you two to grab his cock. "I need you now."
"Then have all of me," Vanitas whispered back, and you moaned softly, lining him up to your entrance before you started to sink down on him slowly.
You two hissed simultaneously, your head tilting to the side as your eyes closed. He already felt so good, making you feel so full as you slowly sunk down on him. Your hot walls squeezed around Vanitas' cock, making his back arch off the bed as he grabbed your hips. Just as impatient, he pulled you down onto him fully and you cried out, hands clenching his shirt tightly.
"Vanitas!" you squealed, voice high. Your hands shook as you placed them firmly in his chest, his hands squeezing your hips spurring you on. You slowly started to ride him, his cock sliding in and out of you delicious with up and down motion of your hips. Looking down at him, Vanitas looked as blissed out as you felt, his hair spread wildly on the sheets, his cheeks flushed with a smile on his face.
"You look absolutely stunning," he cooed at you, blue eyes shining, his own moans leaving his pretty mouth. He didn't know where to look; your pretty face, your breasts bouncing with each thrust, or where your bodies were joined, it was all breathtaking.
"I want to taste you again," you gasped out, letting out a squeak when Vanitas thrust his hips upwards. He did it again, and again, using his grip on your hips to pull you down on his cock, hitting you deeper and making you see stars. The bed creaked, moans and cries filling the air.
You grabbed Vanita's collar, almost ripping it as you yanked it to the side. With him still fucking into you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head before you bared your fangs, sinking them again into his neck. He gasped sharply, his gasp then turning into a whine as you sucked his blood, his thrusts faltering. With one more harsh thrust, he keeps a death grip on your hips, keeping you still as he cums deep inside of you, moans coming out strangled as his body shakes with pleasure.
The warm blood filling your mouth has your body tingling, feeling Vanitas cumming inside of you triggering your own orgasm. You broke away, some blood dripping down your chin as you cried out in euphoria.
"Oh my God..." you gasped, body trembling. You leaned down, licking the small droplets of blood from Vanitas neck, the man underneath you still shaking. He held you close, not even allowing you to move an inch.
Though you did eventually, the two of you separating and tiredly falling side by side on the bed. You glanced over, watching Vanitas situate himself back in his pants, his eyes closed and face still flushed.
"Are you okay...?" you asked softly, earning a tired smirk from the man beside you.
"I have honestly never felt better," Vanitas answered, turning his head to finally look at you. "I am enraptured."
That made your face go hot and you quickly whipped your head away, hugging yourself, seeing as you were the only one naked. "Yeah... well..."
Vanitas laughed, that same obnoxious laugh as he reached over, a bit roughly grabbing your face to press a kiss on your lips. "You're so cute."
You groaned, playfully shoving him away. "Shut up! Get out."
He laughed again. "Oh, mon chéri, not a chance~ ♡"
-End
Thanks for reading! I love you
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Kinktober Day 7: Sex toys - Jotaro x Reader
Kinktober masterlist
CW: Fem!reader, use of toys, voyeurism kinda? (but only known by you and Jotaro [does that make it exhibitionism?]), trying not to get caught doing a naughty, praise, also probably inaccurate depiction of a PhD graduation but ssshhh
And with that, the first week of kinktober is already done! Still on schedule (with only a few hiccups, but I made up for them so nyehehe). 3+ more weeks of depravity to go and I’ll hope you’ll stick around for the ride and enjoy >:33
Don’t forget to vote on what prompt I’ll use on the upcoming days when there is two! I’m indecisive and need to choose one every day but iss hard so I could use help 😭 Only if you want to tho :3
Word Count: 1269
You’d begged Jotaro to use it for weeks, your mind unable to stop playing possible scenarios, each more salivating than the last.
What you didn’t expect, was for him to come up to you today of all days, the night of his PhD graduation.
It seemed so innocent a thing. A gift from you to him for getting his doctorate.
So when he walked up to you just fifteen minutes before you were scheduled to leave, donned in his suit and delicately cupping your chin. Well… how could you refuse? He’d gotten down on his knees right there, lubing the small toy up before reaching under your dress and pushing it into you while praising you for how amazing you looked.
But now that you were actually sitting there beside him, watching the man on stage present while every graduate was sitting at their own table with loved ones, doubt was beginning to creep into your mind.
Especially when the softest of clicks came from your right and the small toy buried deep inside you buzzed to life.
Gasping softly at the sensation, Jotaro glanced over to you at the sound, a small but satisfied smirk on his face as he reached out, placing his left hand on your thigh, squeezing softly.
The buzzing was silent, the toy far enough inside you that it didn’t make a noise. What it did do though, was make your breath hitch and legs clench together.
Still looking at the speaker on stage with only moderate attention, Jotaro then leaned down towards your ear. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He whispered, his voice low while his hand crept higher up your thigh, dipping under your knee-length dress and beginning to bunch it up the higher he went.
Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded your head. Because he was right, this is what you’d asked for.
Seeing you nod, Jotaro straightened himself in his chair, crossing one leg over the other before he took a sip of his drink, giving his full attention to the speaker again.
Or at least, you thought he was, cause a moment later, the buzzing inside you increased in intensity.
Stiffening in your chair, you bit your lower lip, reaching out to take a sip of your own drink as you stayed composed, listening to the man on stage rattle off about what it meant to get this doctorate.
Slowly, Jotaro began to rub your thigh up and down, his focus still on the speaker while you remained, the low thrum of pleasure curling through your stomach.
As time passed, it only got worse. Every time you thought you’d gotten used to it, Jotaro turned the intensity up, making you constantly squirm and rub your legs together, a whimper on the tip of your tongue.
By now, your panties were completely soaked and Jotaro took advantage of it, his hand disappearing beneath your dress as he rubbed the pad of his finger up and down the seat of your panties, feeling your wetness and the faintest vibration if he stilled against your entrance. And yet still he looked composed, stroking it as if he were stroking your knee during a car ride, his focus on the stage.
“We would now like to invite you all onto the stage. If your name is called, come collect your doctorate.”
Your head snapping up from the words, you felt Jotaro pull his hand back, tapping your thigh a few times before he pulled your dress back into place, watching as the first people got called up while he placed the camera on the table in front of you.
Cursing under your breath, you reached for it with shaky hands, your breathing quickened as you felt how flushed you were, your face burning.
Before long, Jotaro was called, having a last name fairly early into the alphabet and he got up while people clapped, starting to walk to the stage while keeping one hand in his pocket.
Doing the best you could, you filmed him, planting your elbows on the table to keep from shaking, applause continuously ringing out while you watched him ascend the stairs.
Yet as he stepped into the light, the vibrator inside you burst to life, humming faster and more intense than ever before as it turned up several levels.
Mortified, you bit your tongue as you jolted, suppressing any noise while you nearly dropped the camera, quickly correcting yourself as you pointed it back at the stage, on time to see Jotaro walk up to the people and shake their hands before receiving his doctorate, already nicely framed.
Holding your breath, your eyes threatened to roll into the back of your skull as you tried to keep your orgasm at bay, filming as Jotaro took the diploma frame and walked off the other end of the stage, back into the unlit crowd.
Dropping the camera, you panted as you leaned on the table, the smallest of whimpers escaping you as your orgasm threatened to wash over you and you slapped a hand in front of your face.
With a raised eyebrow, Jotaro approached - as if he didn’t know exactly why you were falling apart at the seams.
Sitting down beside you, the man grabbed your hand, rubbing the back of it gently before sealing your fate as he turned up the intensity one more time.
Immediately, you pushed the hand over your mouth harder into yourself as your back arched you forward into the table, your eyes fluttering shut as you came in your panties, Jotaro gripping you and pulling you into his side, his own hand covering yours as he watched you cum, his eyes half-lidded and hungry as he scanned your body.
“Is everything okay?” A whisper then suddenly came from the table left and front, making the both of you look up, your eyes teary as you experienced the aftershocks of your orgasm, the vibrator still buzzing just as strong inside you, overstimulating you.
“She’s feeling ill, I’m just going to take her outside.” Jotaro answered, making you receive some sympathetic looks. After all, in the dark of the room, the most these people could see was you slumped and holding a hand over your mouth.
Coaxing you to your feet, Jotaro started to guide you away from the table, grabbing all the stuff the two of you brought as well as his new doctorate.
Once you were out of range of people, the man finally took his time to pull one of his hands away from supporting you to instead turn down the toy with the remote in his pocket.
“Fucking, shit-“ You gasped, standing on trembling legs, a whimper escaping you and Jotaro chuckled before letting out a curious hum.
“You forgot to turn off the video, Y/N.” He smirked, watching the little red dot blink as he opened up the screen, pressing the ‘stop recording’ button while you covered your face.
“Remind me to never agree to this again.” You whimpered, still feeling the toy vibrate inside you, though at the lowest setting now, making it much more doable.
“You begged for this.” Jotaro reminded you and you whined.
“Remind me to never beg for anything again then.” You pouted and Jotaro chuckled.
“Yet you were doing so good for me.” He muttered into your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Let’s get to the car.” He spoke after and you frowned in confusion.
“Why?”
At that, Jotaro looked down at you.
“Because seeing you like this makes me want to fuck you stupid.”
#hih kinktober 2023#jotaro smut#jotaro x reader#jotaro x reader smut#jotaro kujo#jotaro kujo x reader#jotaro kujo smut#hih’s hôrni works
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hi Raytorosaurus, in the beginning of your post you said Ray has done interviews, podcasts, and blogged in recent years, can you please link me to those things? I would be extremely and eternally grateful <3
yes ofc!! this one by tom bryant (author of not the life it seems) is my favourite! and not just because ray talks about how much he loves being a stay at home dad doing chores while his wife gets her master's degree. it's just sweet, and goes a little more in depth into remember the laughter's concept than some of these other interviews.
this one isn't remember the laughter related, but tom bryant also did this interview with him the year before, after he released for the lost and brave dedicated to leelah alcorn (cw non-graphic discussion of suicide). it's really fucking sweet. ray talks a lot about his family and about fatherhood and about how he wants to raise his kids to be as kind and socially conscious as possible in pretty much all of the interviews i've linked here, but i really fucking love this thing he says in this one in particular:
"If ever my son was having a rough time I would just hope that he would trust me and allow me to be there for him. It’s common for parents and older people to look at youth in a negative way and to not respect the young as people. My wife always says that a lot of parents treat their kids like property – the whole, ‘this is my house, these are my rules and you must abide by my law’. You have to put yourself on the same level as your kid, you have to relate to them as a person. I hope that there’s more understanding about the differences between people in the future that my son grows up in.”
at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this one is also really fucking sweet. again he talks about the values he wants to impart on his kids, and how his son is featured in the lucky ones playing his child's percussion set :'''')
this one is a bit longer and just rly cute lol like just fun vibes
there's a couple of shorter ones here and here that are also worth a read. there's also this review that i like - it's not 100% positive but the writer does make a point of saying he's shocked the album didn't get much attention despite ray having been in mcr. yeah me too dude :(
this is a podcast he appeared on - he did at least one or two others but i think sadly they've been lost to time :(((((( but god this one is so sweet he's just sooooo. so <3. ray also says the band broke up a few weeks after his son was born in september 2012 which is interesting lol.
sadly a bunch of his blog stuff has been lost to time because the wayback machine has done a spotty job of archiving it but you can try to explore around the archived pages a bit. if you click around to different dates or subpages you can see some of his photography (tho sadly a lot of it hasn't been saved :((( ) and a few blog posts. you might even come across his shitty vent poetry lol <3333
and then i love this interview sooooo much too like this writer really gets it. ray talks about how he got obsessed with this free climber after watching a mountaineering documentary which inspired the great beyond, so the great beyond actually features a fucking chalk bag as a percussion instrument because he's insane and i love him. it also has the line "enthusiasm leaking from him like a punctured capri-sun" LOL. and then it wraps up with this statement that i really love:
Mixed, engineered and almost entirely performed by Toro, ‘Remember The Laughter’ is very much this man’s pride and joy. Every nuance of the record is explained with intricate detail and the subject matter held within comes straight from his heart. Whether you like it or not remains to be seen, as its influences are often drawn from well outside the My Chemical Romance sphere. Whether you listen to it or not, though, really comes down to this: do you want to hear some honest music?
because honestly that's the one common thread through all of mcr's discography and every single one of their solo projects. they are all 100% earnest. they all access that honesty in different ways and ray's definitely not a super accomplished lyricist so some of the lines on rtl verge on corny or schmaltzy sometimes but they never, ever sound fake or inauthentic. he wrote the album imagining he was speaking the lyrics to his son to instill a sense of hope in him about the world so he'd grow up with the belief that he was capable of making it a better place and he fucking means every word of it bro. he's ray toro :( i like him :((((
#reread a bunch of these while i was putting this together and now i'm down so fucking bad for him this happens every time#like why are you the most lovable man in the universe huh#anyway sorry this took me a while to get to life is crazy huh#answered#ray toro#rtl#interview#ref
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May I request a platonic Venti x female reader
Where Venti found the reader at the tree at Windrise shortly before or after the Cataclysm when she was a baby. He tried finding the reader’s parents. But after a month or so he gave up and decided to adopt the reader. Eventually learning she’s half god half human so of course she ages differently from humans.
Can be headcannons can be a fanfic. Whichever works for you
Venti x adopted!reader
Cw: gn!reader, venti thinking negatively of himself, kid crying, found family, platonic!!, 2nd pov, no beta we die like real men, english isn't my first language soz </3
A/n: this took so much longer than it should jave omg, im so sorry i had no inspiration for this🙇🏾♀️
*•° After the cataclysm, barbados had much on his mind. Questioning his morals and action. Things that would hunt him forever.
*•° Tho, his train of thought was interrupted by cries, ones of a child. He curiously walked toward the source of said noise and saw you all alone crying for your parents. Be was close to coming to take you but starkly stoped in his track realising that a monster like him couldn't be around a kid, his bloodied hand shouldn't lay on your delicate skin. How would he ever raise you? He had no previous experience, nor did he have the will to.
*•° Two days later and he was still thinking if you. The thoughts of leaving a child alone to find for themselves in this cruel world. He had let a nation get destroyed and now he would leave an innocent child to die?
*•° He ran back to the place were he had first saw you at hoping nothing bad had happened to you. But to his misfortune you weren't there anymore. He looked all around and hours later found you eating sunsettias next to some snall animals, tears still staining your face. He signed in relief.
*•° He stared at you for what seemed an eternity not knowing what to say to a young child. Conversations where short but you quickly grew attached and would close to never separate from him.
*•° He would learn to cook for your sake so you you wouldn't die of hinger and built you both a small house (thinking that it would be best for a little human child to have a good place of living) he changed as a person for your sake. You had turned his world around in the vest way possible.
*•° Time spent together would consisted of : you both creating songs, him performing for you, walks around mondstat, baking apple treats, amongst many other. (You take pride in being there when old folk song were written and having participates in the making of them)
*•° Tho through those first few months and all this happiness he couldn't help but remind himself that it would be over soon. Human live such lives. He tries to mentally prepare himself but the though always made his eye swell up with tears.
*•° But later he noticed - you wouldn't grow. He thought that you should be much taller by now but you haven't grown an inch after 13 months of being together. He only then noticed how fast your wonds would heal, or how little you showed hunger.
*•° it clicked - you must not have been human, or at list not fully. You couldn't imagine the relief he felt in that moment, he almost cried. He threw you in the air more time that you could count.
*•° overall, hes most definitely not the best parent but most definitely one of the most loving there is.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin x y/n#venti x reader#venti x you#venti x y/n#venti#i would commit volontary manslaughter for him#from orh to genshintwstfan#love to genshintwstfan!#orh's
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❧❧ Yandere Dreamcore OC ❧❧ ~(Romantic)~
TW/CW: stalking, obsessive behavior, horror, heavily implied murder(s). Also you have a gf in this.
——————————————————————Oc: 🦋Papilíos🦋
——————————————————————
It had been a long while since you moved in with the butterfly man. There were no clocks or calendars in this world, but you had to guess it was…about a year? Maybe a little longer?
You moved out of Papilíos’ house a little bit ago. You had moved into a heavily forested that was between the city & the place where Papilíos lived. He commonly visited & made you both tea, as well as he did odd things like help you with your laundry & he even cooked for you! Sometimes he would even leave you some money if he noticed you were low on food. It was nice having a friend like him.
Today was one of the days that Papilíos visited. He knocked on your door & sat down once you let him inside. “So,” he began, “how is your job going?” The butterfly’s eye perked up as his version of smiling. “Good, I’m glad I can work from home! Although, it can get a bit boring.” Honestly, ‘boring’ was the least of it. It barely even felt like work! The deadlines were almost non-existent & all you had to do was click a few buttons, supposedly to help…change weather to different parts of a mushroom civilization so they got the right amount of humidity. You swore this world was like a dream.
“Well, it’s better than having no money…” Papilíos got up & went to make some hot cups of tea for the two of you. After he was done, you both drank the tea & shared some things going on in your own personal lives.
“Oh! Wait!” You realized, giggling at the fact that you completely forgot about a very significant change. “Hm?” The butterfly looked at you, tilting his head slightly. “I have a girlfriend now!” You laughed, “I met her on an online dating app! Her name is Pulchra!” You laughed, completely unaware at the fact that Papilíos stopped in his tracks & seemed…off, to say the least.
You went on & on about how beautiful & sweet she is, feeling giddy about the fact that you have a romantic partner, only for the blue butterfly to hastily get up & throw on the brown coat he brought. “I…I need to go.” He breathed, like he was holding back something.
All you could do was sit, confused, & stare at the still warm cup of tea that Papilíos didn’t finish drinking.
.
.
.
.
Your butterfly friend hadn’t been back since that day. You talked to your girlfriend about it & she seemed just as confused. Although, she told you to leave it, since maybe it was embarrassing or personal, & just pretend it never happened when you saw him again. You understood that. Everyone has personal things that they would rather no one know about.
The main issue arose when he had been what must amount to 2 weeks. What if he’s missing? Or in danger? The fact that your girlfriend had stopped taking your calls & texts didn’t help either.
You decided to go visit Papilíos.
You knocked on his door. No answer. You knocked even harder. No answer. You let out a breathy sigh, “I’m sorry, Papilíos…” you whispered to yourself before unlocking the door & walking inside. You felt dirty for breaking into your friend’s house, but it was necessary. At least, you hoped it was.
You walked through the house, taking in the sweet yet water-like smell. You saw a nectar box(juice box but nectar) on the counter as you walked deeper into the house.
“Hello?” You called out, “hello?!” You stepped on something. As you looked down, your blood ran ice-cold. It was a picture of you. But you don’t remember this one. You don’t remember Papilíos taking this one.
You just stood there, just wanting to teleport away from this house & go home, lock all your doors & windows &—
There was another.
This one was of you sleeping…in your new house. How did Papilíos?… you didn’t want to think about it.
Finally, you began backing away only to hit something soft & warm. Something breathing. Something alive.
“Oh…I’m sorry…” the masculine voice spoke softly as he wrapped his arms around you, “those are supposed to be…personal.” The once soft, meek, & sweet voice now sounded dark, malicious, & threatening.
“You know, you’re very pretty,” he said as he lowered himself next to your ear, “perfect for photos~” the butterfly cooed. “I have more. I began taking them awhile ago. I haven’t shown anyone else, I promise. At least…no one still alive.”
…what happened to your girlfriend?
#yanderecore#yandere#yandere blog#yandere x reader#yandere oc#dreamcore#dreamcore ocs#yandere boy#Papilíos oc#dreamcore oc#yandere monster
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