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tomssexdoll · 2 days

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When I was your man

PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N broke up, after 2 years of dating she finally had enough of his shitty behaviour. Tom starts to see her everywhere and deeply regrets his actions, crying for you every night. One night he sees you at a bar, dancing with another man and he approaches you. A/N: inspired by when I was your man by bruno mars WARNINGS: dom! tom, sub!reader, eating out, alcohol mentions, fingering

Me and Y/N broke up a month ago, she couldn't deal with my shitty behaviour she said, complaining about how I treat her. When I refused to apologise she took her things and left, texting me later that we were over.

As soon as I saw her say that I burst into tears, realizing my shitty actions towards her.

I went to bed that night but it didn't feel right. It was the same bed but it felt just a little bit bigger, more empty without her, cold and lonely.

I hear our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same. The song we had our first kiss to, lost our virginities to, countless of memories wasted all because of me.

When my friends talk about her all it does is just tear me down, cause my heart breaks a little when I hear her name.

I've been super depressed after the breakup, not being able to sleep properly and not eating. All I wanted was her, to hold her, caress her soft skin, kiss and appreciate her. But she was gone, and I didn't know how long it'd be until I could have her in my arms again.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways, caused a good strong woman like her to walk out of my life, and it haunts me everytime I close my eyes.

I couldn't just set my selfishness down for a second, I was a fucking idiot, treating the kindest and most beautiful girl like shit, disregarding her feelings, gaslighting her and neglecting her. I looked at twitter, seeing headlines of her with another guy.

I sobbed and sobbed, crying my eyes out, seeing her already moved on. I knew I deserved it but I wanted her back so badly, she was my everything, my baby, my world. I wish I could turn back time and just start all over again, make her feel like the only girl in the world, make her feel special and loved.

One day I decided to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away, running out of all the alcohol in my house that I drowned myself in. I sat down, ordering a couple shots of whiskey, downing them within seconds.

I turned around to see everyone dancing, sweaty bodies pressed up against each other, making me remember the special moments we shared in this bar, tears welled up in my eyes again.

Then suddenly I saw her, Y/N was there, she was so beautiful, so stunning. Her features glowing from the flashing lights, curves showing off in her sexy dress. My baby was dancing like she loved to do, but she was dancing with another man, he smiled at her, holding her close and kissing her gently.

My eyes widened and I stared there in shock, it felt like the world stopped, like everything went silent. She swayed her hips, grinding into him. She looked like she was having so much fun.

I stepped closer, the lights now hitting me. She turned and looked at me, her eyes widening and her movements haltering. We just stared at each other for a while, she eventually rolled her eyes and excused herself, walking off. I ran after her, calling out for her.

Eventually I grabbed onto her arm, looking down at her "baby..please" I choked out a sob, she pushed me off "get off me Tom, I told you we're over.." she mumbled, not being able to look me in the eyes.

I noticed how she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, I grabbed her chin and lifted it to look at me, "I know im probably much too late, to try and apologise for my mistakes" I sighed "but i just want you to know, I hope he buys you flowers and holds your hand, gives you all his hours, take you to every party cause i remember how much you loved to dance, do all the things i've should've done..when i was your man.."

Tears welled up in her eyes, she hugged me tightly and sobbed into my chest, "oh tom..I missed you so much" I smiled and stroked her hair. "Let's go outside baby..talk about things better, hm?" I mumbled against her hair, she nodded and took my hand, leading my outside and leaving the guy she was with.

We walked to my car and got in, blasting the heating. "He's not with me or anything..i've been hooking up with him for like 2 weeks and I figured paparazzi might have been there to take photos and make you jealous.." she crossed her arms, frowning.

"I deserve it though, I treated you badly baby, you didn't deserve to go through what you did" I held her hand, rubbing my thumb over the skin softly, "maybe you can give me another chance? I swear I'll change baby, it won't be like the other times, I need to prove to you that I can change, I can be a better man for you" I started to cry again, she winced and got onto my lap, wiping my tears away and kissing me softly.

"I'm an idiot for forgiving you again..but fuck you seem so sincere.." she sighed, smiling softly. "I'll do anything for you baby, name it and i'll do it, I just can't lose you" I said, my voice shaky, rough with emotion.

"I haven't been able to function without you, you complete my world" I caressed her cheek. "Let's go home, I'm tired of living out of a shitty hotel" she giggled, climbing into the passanger seat again.

As we got home she rushed in, running onto our shared bed, "fuck..how I missed this bed" she rolled around in it, I smiled and walked in, laying next to her.

"Tom..?" she turned to me, "yes schatz?" I pulled her closer, looking down at her. "Why did you treat me so badly?" her question hit hard, I didn't really know myself. "Uh..I don't know..I was just stupid and I didn't appreciate the wonderful woman I had in front of me, I was a little intimidated, you were way too good for me and I just thought sabotaging everything would make it better, which now I see was fucking stupid" I groaned, rubbing my temples in frustration.

"I'm just glad you eventually saw how it affected me, I missed you a lot I will admit but I was also hurt and I still am" I nodded, "I know baby..and I'm so sorry, I wish I could take back all the pain" I said, reaching out and grabbing her hips, rubbing them softly.

"You know I'd do anything for you, I would take a bullet straight through my brain just to prove my love to you." She chuckled "baby..chill out" I smirked "sorry..I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you"

She climbed on top of me, tracing my features with her delicate fingers. "There will be no sunlight if I lose you baby, just like the clouds my eyes will do the same, if you walk away everyday it'll rain" I kissed her softly, she smiled "Tom that's beautiful.." she whispered and kissed me back.

I flipped us over, me hovering over her. "Let me give you the love you deserve, make you feel beautiful.." she nodded and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing black lacey bra.

My head dove into her chest, kissing and sucking softly.

She moaned softly, delicate sounds coming out of her beautiful lips. I reached down and removed her skirt. Her beautiful figure underneath me.

My fingers traced her curves softly, appreciating her beauty. "So, so beautiful..my angel" I whispered, kissing down her stomach and planting a soft kiss on her panties, her hips bucking up slightly.

"Tom..don't tease" she whined, I chuckled and slid her panties off, bending her legs and prying her thighs apart, licking a stripe on her folds, collecting her juices.

I slowly lapped my tongue onto her her clit, sucking softly, "mm!" she moaned loudly, gripping onto the sheets tightly. I smirked, happy to see her so pleasured.

I sneaked my hand up, entering 2 digits into her wetness, stretching her out. "Oh fuck!" she groaned as my fingers curled at her g spot, "is it good baby?" I teased, she nodded and screwed her eyes shut, focusing on the pleasure.

My fingers found their rhythm inside her, thrusting in and out. I could feel her release slowly approaching, her breath coming in short gasps. I increased the pressure on her clit, sucking harder as I felt her about to climax.

I could tell I was driving her wild, her head lolled back and her eyes were tightly shut, legs slightly trembling. "Cum for me baby.." I moaned on her clit, slobbering all over it.

I felt her pussy clench against my fingers as she came hard, a loud high pitched moan leaving her mouth. "So good.." I chuckled, licking up all her juices and climbing up to hover over her again.

I grabbed my clothed erection, "do you want it baby?" she nodded quickly, grabbing at my pants and shoving them off. I grinned at her urgency, pulling my cock out of my boxers and pumping it a few times.

"Can't wait to be inside you again.." I groaned, pressing my tip at her entrance, slowly pushing in. It had been a while since we last fucked, her "hookups" obviously not as big as me.

She cried out, holding onto me tightly, "fuck!", I dragged my hand down to her clit, rubbing slow circles to let her relax. I felt her pussy unclench on my cock, finally being able to thrust in better.

I slowly thrusted, gradually picking up my pace so I didn't hurt her.

Eventually my cock was pounding into her, my grip tight on her hips, holding her into place. "Fuck..so tight" I groaned, my head rolling back.

"Mmm! Fuck!" she moaned, feeling my tip hit her g spot, I leaned down and started to suck her nipples softly, earning a loud groan from her. My tongue swirled against her sensitive buds, making her throw her head back.

"Cum for me pretty girl.." I grunted, picking up my pace again and slamming into her, the tension building in my stomach as I felt my release approach, nails digging into her hips.

"Mmh! Oh shit!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close, her pussy clenching around my cock, increasing the amount of pleasure I was recieving.

I felt her body shudder under me, her orgasm washing over her and her juices painting my cock, I groaned and came inside her, shooting my load deep into her and making sure to keep thrusting so it could stay in.

I sighed and collapsed on top of her, cock still buried deep inside her hole. "I missed you so much baby..I swear i'll never ever hurt you again, I was so stupid to treat you that way" I winced "please forgive me and take me back.." she frowned at my pain, kissing me softly.

"I know you're sorry baby, it'll take a while for me to trust you again but we can try one more time, don't blow it" she sighed, I sighed in relief, peppering kisses all over her face and flipping us over so that she was on top of my chest, "get some rest baby" I whispered into her hair.

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @bkaulitzlover @ballhair @estxkios @ge-billsgf @charliesgoodboy

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thedevilrisen · 16 hours

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Prompt Poll - One

Jack Hughes x sister!Y/N

Prompt: “You don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here”

Description: Jack’s sister has relationship troubles, Jack knows what she needs.

A/N: I hope you enjoy! Would be greatly appreciated if you could reblog. I love talking to people so say 'Hi' if you want to. Feel Free to send in requests as well. I'm happy to write for most hockey players.

Warnings: Crying, swearing, thats probably it! Mainly just good brother Jack fluff.

-Sincerely thedevilrisen.

-:-

Wet sniffles and the front door opening and closing with a quiet click an hour before it was suppose to is something that concerns three exceptionally protective brothers very much.

Quinn was the first to launch into action, tearing off the couch and toward the sound that scares them all half to death. Their sister, crying.

Before he could even leave the room in walked a sodden, puffy cheeked, red eyed girl. Her dark hair was plastered to her forehead and across the sides of her neck.

"What the hell happened?" asked Luke, half hysterical. Turning around on the couch, bug-eyed at sight of his normally well-put together sister a wet shivering, mess?

"Nothing Luke."

"Well that's bullshit." the troubled boy shot back.

"Lukey, just calm it for a second." Jack asked, significantly calmer than both of the other boys.

"No, Jack, Luke's completely correct in his statement!" Quinn, normally level headed, fired off. "She's crying and home way too early aren't you meant to be at Jessie's?"

"I'm not crying Quinn! I'm cold and Jessie is at her dad's!" the young girl warbled. "I'm going bed. Goodnight."

"Like hell you are!" the oldest shouted. "You're going to sit and tell us the truth."

She hated the way Quinn spat the word truth like he knew she'd been lying to them. She hadn't been lying per-se, not to all of them and not in great amounts, just leaving out certain details.

"Y/N, it's okay go upstairs and sleep if you would like to." Jack spoke sternly, more so at Quinn then at then now shivering girl standing meekly at the bottom of the staircase.

"Jack! Are you with us or against us?" Luke stated betrayed, the slight recognition in his features as he slowly realises his older brother's nonchalant-ness.

"I'm on neither side. If she doesn't feel comfortable talking then I don't think we need to pry." Jack continued, trying to diffuse the situation.

"What do you know." Luke's eyes narrowed along with his accusatory remark.

"Nothing more than you do." Jack stated calmly. He wasn’t fond of hiding information from his brothers especially when it involved their sister. He had his reasons though.

Jack’s Friday night plans did not consist of comforting his devastated sister.

A quiet shuffle of footsteps along the carpet in the hallway was barely noticeable amidst the cacophony of a summer storm. Light crept slowly into Jack’s room.

“Jacky?” an unreasonably timid voice asked into the darkness.

“mh- ompf.” he had grumbled, back digging into his phone which had been lost when he drifted off. “what’s up kid?”

"can i talk to you please?" she had mumbled through the small gap.

"yeah," he hoisted himself up from the bed. "come in kid, what's going on?"

"ihaveaboyfriend." she spoke at lightning speed. standing by the door apprehensively almost like she was ready to run if she needed.

slowly comprehending jack blinked drearily. "im sorry what?"

taking a deep breath she took a few steps and sat on the end of the bed. "i have a boyfriend," she spoke solemnly.

"shouldn't that be a happy thing?"

"he stood me up three nights in a row."

"ah, a not so happy thing." jack mumbled now realising the gravity of the situation.

"no.”

“what can i do to help?” Jack sighed. at this statement the smaller girl launched into his arms.

“don’t tell Quinn or Luke.” she cried into his chest.

“is there something else you need to tell me?”

“I do, but not now.” the girl crawled up closer to the head board with her brother and tucked herself under he arm.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here.”

“Thanks Jacky.”

-:-

This is probably the most half-assed thing ive ever wrote. im terribly sorry. 👍

if anyone cares i will be putting out the next prompt post later today and something about the au im creating!

find the prompt list for requests here.

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anime-dreams · 3 days

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Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable.

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end?

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that.

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave.

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

#shoko ieiri #jujutsu kaisen #jjk shoko #satosugu #gege when i catch you gege #kfc breakup #geto suguru #gojo satoru #what am i even doing #i cannot do this anymore #depressing shit

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barrenclan · 2 days

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okay hey its me (spotfurfan on main) back again reporting live on another fucking patfw issue

OKAY SOOO YOURE CRAZY. you. YOUUUU.

i just cant believe we're finally here like... it's finally happening. crazy. ugh so crazy and im so excited and horrified. this issue was so so good obviously i dont think i even gotta say that at the point but!!!!

OBSESSED with so many things about this. again, you NAILED the feeling of dread and horror so well. like actually making me feel sick GOOD JOB!!! everyone being so horrified is WONDERFUL. its all in the small things, like mallowstar panick-ly ordering everyone around as a last attempt to save them, and daffodilpaw crying. really good and heartbreaking details. im super interested about deepdarks... situation with wildrose. that man is up to Something. really interested to see how that will play out and if it will effect much.

ALSO im very much wondering if anyone will mention.. pinepaw. like recognizing him as that little blue cat. if anyone will spill about rainhaze. ugh WHATS GONNA HAPPEN I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!

and MALLOWSTAR. god, mallowstar. not even one of our main characters really and yet his death is so incredibly devastating. he just wanted to protect his clan. even when theres no fucking way he could have done anything. his death is quick, and i think that makes it even more upsetting somehow??? i figured he was gonna die but. man. MAN. pick on someone ur own size prowl

overall. good. very very good shit. poor corm. poor everyone. if they had just been a little bit earlier to leave.... just a little bit. fuckkk i really cannot see this ending well and i am so excited

YAY I love when people do live reactions at me! I love to hear your thoughts so so much.

Panic and action is always something that's been hard for me to get across in writing, so I'm always happy to hear that I've succeeded. I like this issue as it sets the tone for the 4 to follow and really establishes that this is not a force that BarrenClan can just fight their way out of, which was important to me.

I am personally very happy with the conclusion of this story so I am hoping everyone else likes it too... coming THIS SUMMER! And fall, and probably winter,

#ask #analysis #mallowstar #prowl #daffodilpaw #pinepaw #deepdark

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maytheleiabewyou · 2 days

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Analysis of the German gay film #freierfall / #freefall PART 5

For the 10th anniversary (omg! 10 years already!) (11 now because its 2024!) of one of my favorite movies I decided to make an analysis of the film and especially of the scenes between these two great actors.Max Riemelt and Hanno Koffler. Kay and Marc. Marc and Kay. I hope you like it and that above all it serves to encourage the creators to give us that long awaited second part.

HERE IT IS PART 5:

Remember where we left it? :)

Gif de everythingmaxriemelt

Are you ready? I think THIS IS one of the best parts of this review and of the whole film!!!!

[Before going to the scene... have you notice this moment when Marc stops everything just to think or "think" what he is about to do.. (all this after having gone to see Bettina and having tucked her in lovingly)]

BEFORE GOING TO ONE OF THE HOTTEST SCENES, I FEEL WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT INTRODUCES US TO THE ACTION! I mean this whole part is going to be full of CAPS! HAHA #theEXCITEMENT

gO to track nº10! "The Woods: Love" aaaaaaaaaaaaaa the name!! Its just an instrumental track that introduces us to the passion!!! and makes us our hearts race? ofc!

NOWWW LETS GOOOO!! (*let the gif feast begin*)

Gif de everythingmaxriemelt

They've arranged to go for a run and it's literally pouring. Who do they think they're going to do sport? Well in a way they ARE going to practice some kind of exercise haha

This scene if you ask me makes me so embarrassed (in a good way!) because it is so clear what is going to happen between them, not only because of the clues in the last scenes, but also because the weather is not only telling us what is going to happen but SHOUTING IT OUT!

This scene is not about deceiving the viewer or faking a normal situation, nothing like that, this scene is transgressive in itself. This scene is telling us: this is what you wanted (and the protagonists too, obviously) this is what you got!

<<<<Now our minds can only think about one thing>>>>

Who is going to make the first move?

It should be Marc because Kay was the one proposing this plan, or it should be Kay because Marc already did the hardest part of going there to do what we all know is going to happen? haaaaaaaaa lets see!

I can help it to say that Kay is my favorite. Once again he being the one facilitating everything <3

YAYYY! MARC WAS THE ONE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE & KISSING KAY!

And now the next is simply p-e-r-f-e-c-t

Im adding the video of the whole scene BECAUSE IT IS NECESSARY!

But never in our wildest dreams did we imagine their first scene like this! In the middle of a storm!

lOOk please their looks!!! Again so much information without them saying anything!

Kay's look conveys desire, but also the desire to be playful with Marc. They are going to f*ck in the woods while raining and in PUBLICCCCC! Do you hear me screaming?! Marc is ENJOYING HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE MOVIE! Marc is determined to have a good time, to enjoy himself and above all to show Kay what he can do!! I can't handle it!!!!!!! AMIGAS THEY ARE BOTH SMILING!

now the uncertainty begins!

Do they like it? Is Marc happy with what happened? (Because we all know that KAY IS HAPPY!) and above all, does Marc regret it?

<<awkward silence fills all the scene>>

Again, my KAY asking Marc if everything is okay.

((AND OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS OKAY)) Or at least that is what we all want to think because it is true that Marc says yes to Kay but he immediately leaves the car without kissing Kay as a goodbye or something!

Kay saying

-it has been good

+ And Marc nodding in embarrassment!

The cutest? YES.

NOW WE ENTER TO THE CUTEST SCENES OF THE MOVIE

NOW WE CAN OFFICIALLY SAY THAT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A (CLANDESTINE) COUPLE!

End of part 5.

I want know to dedicate a whole part to some scenes that for me are everything! Those scenes deserve a bunch of posts, parts or whatever all by themselves! Im SO happy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for all the feedback from the previous publications and to the owners of the gifs I used <3

And here you have the previous parts in case you missed them!

#free fall #gay movies #gay cinema #freier fall #hanno koffler #marc x kay #gay story #gay love #lgtbq characters #max riemelt #Spotify #gay #lgtbtq

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good-beanswrites · 2 months

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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store.

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore.

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath.

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her.

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death.

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno.

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying.

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well?

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe.

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles

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socialbunny · 11 months

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👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽some of my skipy lore in the tags i was supposed to bridge it with something else but i forgot what i wanted to say 😭

#i feel like i always show skip as like. a loser.....which he is #and a cheater. hes that too.#and a shit person in general. i dont show that one but he is #he tries to do right by other ppl but he'll always put his feelings first. self centered mf #he got married before he turned 20 he was NOT ready for that shit 😭#literally got married to brandi out of guilt bc he fucked up her life n shit too kinda. even tho she wanted a family she lost a lot of #other shit too #skip experiences a slight hurdle in his life and hes like ''i have to have an affair/fuck/fun away''#man that had high hopes for himself and his future gets frustrated by the consequences of his impulsive actions. more at 11 #he thought he'd have a slightly better life than the rest of his family. but then his parents died and he got a girl he'd been dating for #less than a year pregnant and he was like. fuckkk it #started doing some foul ass shit to the ppl around him when he realized there was no getting back up to where he wanted to be #everything culminating into him running away from his family and responsibilities and changing his name #idk i never talk abt my skip broke is alive headcanon anymore 😭 mostly bc i'm not writing my story anyways so it's stagnant yk #hes stuck in limbo while i decide his fate based on what i want to post 😭#IDK WHY I WROTE ALL THIS IN THE TAGS IM PISSED. oh well #hidden skip lore if u read this u get one pass to leave ur wife and kids go fuck sexy bitches in belladonna cove

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deus-and-the-machina · 7 days

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ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the #colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and #yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its #absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the #provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing #seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp #their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid!#also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl #ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat #and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way'#this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural #conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his #ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more #complex than that by this point aaaaaugh #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #siren says #I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em)#ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I #like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona #experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably #upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people

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sereniv · 4 months

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just venting

i mean whats the end goal for any of them

the politicians, the rich

to start a world war? to cause an uprising? an economic collapse? an unlivable planet? chaos?

bc thats whats going to happen

everything is being stretched so fucking thin that they will have nothing left for themsleves, they will have destroyed everything and then what??

wait until the last possible minute to either die from natural causes, vices, or kill yourself??

like what is the end goal? world domination? (im talking about the rich and politicians in general)

bc if its power that only goes so far. same with money.

even if you enslaved the whole world it wouldnt last. it cant it just is literally impossible

this kind of shit is finite, being a terrible person has a limit

they want to feel so powerful but is there an end?

but i guess they literally are just riding the wave until they die.

i just cant wrap my head around it

and its so fucking hard to give up. i want to give up so bad and just stop caring and just focus on whatever i want and get in that shitty richy politician mindset

because i dont believe in accountability after death, but i cant.

even with the anger and wanting these people dead and this strong beyond words feeling of hate for them i still cant fathom and understand the hate they have for everyone who isnt them or like them

if they all dropped dead im celebrating

but if i had a choice between them changing all of a sudden and them dropping dead id choose change

how does someone become like them how does that hate and anger grow so much that it practically oozes out their pores

i cant help but not give up and i cant help but have hope

their ways are not sustainable and everything is already breaking and i hope it breaks soon like full on. whatever that means

#because all thats happening right now is trying to hold together a cracked dam #just pull the fucking walls down #anyway i really hope enough people dont vote for biden #i obviously dont want trump #but there needs to be SOME consequences to his actions #there needs to be SOMETHING #i saw a little girl dead still holding a piece of bread in her hand #i saw half a baby #the terrorizing in ukraine the terrorizing in sudan the congo palestine #its too much it hasnt felt this much before #like everyday every hour is like #is bisan still alive? is motaz? is wael?#and i dont want to be one of those people that like #yknow. talks about how the Opression of others affects them #bc i never know how it sounds when i vent like does it seem like im making it about me or is it just venting #its just everytime I eat everytime i run water from the tap everytime i turn on the heat or watch a funny video i cant stop thinking of wha #is happening. and i mean i always have that problem in cold and hot weather with houseless people.#but it feels wrong to witness and it feels wrong to not think or remember #im not going to change anything as an individual. and im doing what i can but it just feels like #idk.#it just feels bad being able to vent and then just #go and scroll #like change the topic reblog a soybean rat #ugh

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thesunoosshining · 4 months

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shout out is like. The Best Friends Song Ever to me. THAT SOUNDS NOT THE WAY I WANT IT TO BUT LIKE ?? idk how to explain it. but it reminds me of my friends SO badly. just like. us yelling and laughing maniacally over nothing and yelling about k-pop idols and playing those like "pick one drop one" k-pop games on youtube. maybe this is too specific but like ??? i just had to share this info with y'all !

#⭐️; star talks #ok maybe. i just love my friends #ramble about them incoming #but i just love them so badly i've never met people i feel so comfy around #and we disagree and shit sure but we've never had Big Fights that we didn't resolve #i can talk abt anything with them. i can be super cringe and unmasked adhd moment and like #they still love me !! and i love them ! even when they do dumb things #i just love them so badly. i can actually Be Myself w them for real?#idk how to explain it like my old friend group? yeah i loved them but honestly some of them always had me like “ugh” bc they were like #clearly homophobic or just talked about people weirdly #BUT?? MY CURRENT FRIENDS?? oh i love them so bad #enough that i literally made my smau ocs based off them. and i showed my irl best friend my riki smau #and told another one of them about the smau. but tbh she didnt rlly get it el oh el (shes not chronically online like i am)#BUT LIKE? filters dont exist im genuinely so comfortable around these girls #will i show them this? no but i hope they know bc i do voice my affection for them enough 🫶 and hopefully thru my actions #my girls fr! i love them #anyways if u actually read all that ty for reading 😭 if u dont have that group of friends you feel That Way towards. keep holding on bc #i never thought i'd have these girls either. but i do!#your people are out there somewhere 🫶

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no1ryomafan · 5 months

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In my constant brain rotations of “why are people in the west so hard on mecha aside from the fandom can be a bit unfriendly” I think one thing I realized as much as I hate to say is how mecha is sometimes treated remind me of the constant hatred superhero stuff gets.

It’s such a weird comparison because with mecha I do not know what the root of it was-and I’d love to know why but I feel there’s either no clear answer or there is one and it’s stupid-where as for superheroes in the west while there’s still a dedicated community the mainstream audiences have become tired of them due to over-saturation, which I understand, but it’s caused such a massive dismal to the entire genre of it much like mecha.

People think superhero stories can’t have any substance because it’s all about fighting and not about the characters- yet forget the SIGNIFICANT impact they had to so much pop culture. How superhero stories were rooted within comic popularity, how superheroes inspired countless of stories, even so far as reaching japan since so much early anime was taken off of western media which birthed its own genre of superheroes. It’s no different to how mecha help started up the anime industry making it one of the most important genres to japans history, yet most people don’t know it and belittle it.

Yet in superhero story cases it’s even WORSE when people are against it yet then go to see one superhero movie because it’s animated and put it on a pedestal and don’t bother to try other superhero content even though they consumed is no different from the norm. It’s the exact same shit when people watch eva and then think all other mechas don’t compare to it, when the genre always had darker, mature and emotional elements, just only a select few decide to canter to a audience who doesn’t even accept what genre it’s from which makes it all the more frustrating to deal with.

I’m someone who’s hardly into superhero stuff even if some of it catches my eye but it sucks to see that the situation is pretty identical to how mecha is seen, that I can’t help to feel sympathetic whenever I see some comic book fans upset at the mainstream audience even if they too can be a little hostile.

#meg text #to clarify I do agree 100% live action superhero movies especially the MCU got really stale #but that doesn’t mean those movies being stale should single out all superhero content when the stuff before is still GOOD #I was in a server that wasn’t mecha but someone was like “I hate superheroes” yet the discussion was just about a old Justice league cartoo #again- what’s so wrong about the animated ones? when they were from a time pre-saturation and people praise shit like spider verse?#I seriously cant tell if this is also a factor of the ever growing issue of people don’t wanna check out old things despite their importanc #*me awaiting the day someone unironically saids the boys/invincible/spider verse is a deconstruction so I can sigh in pain with actual fans #I hope to god that doesn’t happen but it feels like it’s close to why people already say superhero movies don’t have characters #and maybe that’s true bc I haven’t watched a marvel movie in ages but also I think you more so mean “characters being expanded upon”#because… every story has characters… just some can lack dimension and depth… but their still characters…#oh and it’s funny how it’s always these two that get singled out for focusing on action but shonen gets a pass 😑#action doesn’t equate to less characters!! How do people not realize this?#it’s fine if not your preference but fights can LITERALLY be CHARACTER DRIVEN #a lot of them are in fact because there’s always a purpose to these fights! Even if the meaning is sometimes barebone #also I know there’s gonna be a mecha fan who hates superhero who finds this post #and hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure the super in super robot came from superhero and just not super powered #especially when a lot of the stuff Nagai made/worked on was him clearly tackling a superhero story from another angle #of course mecha isn’t entirely a superhero genre since we have “reals” but the 70s robots? Oh yeah meant to be superhero’s #and what I said above I think the comparison is warranted because the downplaying is unreal sometimes #will say between the two superhero’s probably have it worse because mecha honestly is more so “im curious but idk more then 5 shows”#because my god I can’t have some conversations irl where this shit doenst get unnecessary heated #had a whole English teacher who wouldn’t stop complaining about superhero movies last semester in college 💀 it’s that bad #that said mecha still suffers from people liking one show and shooting down the other it’s just not as prevalent bc mecha content is low #it’s not dead like others say but it’s mainly been gundam and people now just think gundam is every robot (which is PAINFUL but whatever)#moral of the story is don’t judge a book by it’s cover especially when that book is actually really important to fucking pop culture

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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We’re having an emergency meeting to discuss Chris Johnson and the whitest name ever

absolutely fitting for our white man now innit

#snap chats #speaking of White People and names tho.. i drove out to barnes and noble because if i stayed at my mom's any longer id go insane #and while i was here i read the entirety of My Brother's Husband. VERY good series it was so good i loved it...#its not in my budget today to buy the whole set but maybe one day.. mike flanagan i love you you're so happy and good..#WAIT IT GOT A LIVE ACTION SERIES ????? I HAVE TO WATCH IT LATER I WAS JUST THINKING IT'D BE GOOD AS A JDRAMA #what i did buy today tho was the second volume of The Yakuza's Bias since i loved the first one so much #and ive been PRAYING the second one'd come out soon #i also got another kirby blind box </3 its supposed to sit on your drinking glass but i didnt see who i got yet..#i hope its not meta knight. i love meta knight but i want some variety...#im hoping its the sleeping kirby one but it was hard to hear the difference so idk #and im not checkin til later so i doont get tempted to return what i got to get a new one like a freak ☠️#SO SAD THO when i was getting my stuff they didnt have any more butterfly bookmarks...#i always get one when i go out and sure i have more than enough bookmarks but now it feels weird...#anyway. im gonna get food i havent eaten all day... tho i did want chicken and soju later didnt i...#maybe ill just get something light here i just came here for the wifi honestly lol #god what else did i do.. OH THERE WAS THIS ONE MANGA.#i forget the full name but it had 'akane' in the title so of course i was like 'lol' and decided to read the blurb #IN THE STORY HER DAD'S NAME IS ARAKAWA ? but all of his teachers also have the surname arakawa but theyre not related #arakawa must be a ral impotrant name in the manga.... point is i lol'd #i almost wanna go back to. stopping this post now to do it LOL HANG ON BRB #AKANE-BANASHI THAT'S WHAT IT WAS CALLED and she wanted to be the best rakugo performer after her father's teacher #also named arakawa. As I Said.#failed everyone for no reason #maybe one day ill check it out.. always thought rakugo was a fine art...#anyway im rambling too much im gonna try to write a fanfic. no way in hell im drawing rgg in public LMAO #actually im gonna get food first.. as i said i havent eaten all day... ok bye #anon im so sorry if you ever read these tags LMAO I JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY DAY

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fertilizing-daffodils · 4 months

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Time is such a weird thing now. I feel like I'm stuck though I know I'm steadily moving forward in just about every aspect of life but every time I stop and look around I'm just confused by what I see.

#personal #it makes me feel a little crazy #im desperate for change even tho it terrifies me #considering how much has changed already you'd think id be used to it #yet here i am still missing you #and i do #achingly so #last week was the first time my wife acknowledged out loud how i felt about you - called it love #it was in therapy and was said so nonchalantly and even to reassure and support me and my feelings #but its still so strange to hear when my loving you sparked so much turmoil #well not my loving you just our actions from that love but still #I understand it and myself so much better now #I thought I knew my heart but if anything the past few months have reminded me how little I do actually know #I'm infinitely lucky to have a partner that will stick by me and keep loving me while I figure it out #I hope someday you'll have the same the support and love and understanding #it didnt come easy or overnight but that understanding is something I would never trade #and selfishly.... if we all can take responsibility for the truth and face it then maybe I can have you in my life again...#but this time better and with a deeper respect for each other and our boundaries

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priestfrommidnightmass · 9 months

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lately ’ve been feeling kinda guilty because i’ve been feeling much less satisfied and proud of this incredible opportunity i’ve received that i’ve been hoping and dreaming of for ages than i was with my silly summer job taking care of kids and like. i don’t know i’ve been reconsidering if being in film is even what i actually want to do because tbh i’ve been realizing that my actual dream is just to. be liked and have friends and be around people? i’ve been lonely for so long and i definitely know i’ve projected a lot of my desires and dreams onto my writing and lived vicariously though a lot of films and it was so important to me because it felt like it was life or death. so now that i like. have friends and have more life experiences and am satisfied with my place the idea of actually Working in film is just… i don’t know! it’s kinda been making me feel sick everytime i think about it. i don’t think i’m actually passionate about the thing i thought i was. i’ve found something i’m good at and it’s not what i thought it was or thought i wanted whatsoever! that’s scary because even questioning this kinda makes me feel like my life is turning upside down! i feel like that post where someone said they started taking anti depressants and is now deleting their bts account or something

#sorry i know nobody cares #but it’s . a great dilemma #i’m not excited and i know i should be!#i don’t know why it’s just. it’s not connecting now #i’m scared i’m wasting my time and i’m not gonna be good at this and whatever #because like. what if this isn’t what i actually want to do #i don’t Know.#all i know is that i feel so Happy when i talked abt my summer job or my current babysitting job #i can’t and don’t want to stop talking about them and i feel nothing but just. Happiness #but when i think abt this offer i took for film… i don’t know #i never have anything to say and i don’t really want to talk about it #and all it ever does it just stress me out #i don’t know. i don’t know!#i know that i still love writing and it will always be my passion #but just… i don’t know #i’m not sure what i want #one of my main fears is that i can’t handle it but tbh it’s hardly even that #it’s just.#i don’t know if i want it. i don’t know!#all im hoping is when im there in action and Doing it that i feel that passion spark up again #because it’s not even that im scared anymore. it’s just sort of dread

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