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carry on - chapter eight

another very long chapter which includes valencia's cover shoot and interview with vogue! this is when we learn some very sensitive things about valencia and how her childhood shaped her into the woman she is today! so, there is a little bit of angst within this chapter but it shouldn't be too triggering. but if it is, do not read unless you know within yourself you are ready to read this chapter!

january 31st 2019

liked by valenciawalker, alexandercalvert, jaredpadalecki and 1120 others

vogue "i just wish that my time on the first four seasons of supernatural weren't me attempting to reclaim and rebuild my childhood after not getting the permission to have a one when i was an actual child, you know? i just wished that i didn't have to grow up so fast before i joined supernatural as it was so detrimental to the way i now feel towards certain people in my family - my mother most especially!"

supernatural actress valencia walker talked to us at vogue about how she wished that she didn't have to use the first four seasons of supernatural as a way to reclaim her missed out on childhood. revealing all in her tell-all interview with us, she revealed that she had to grow up quickly due to the abuse she was put through by senior members of her family - most especially walker's mother, tricia. she also mentioned in regards to reclaiming her childhood that whilst she wishes it was different, she's still glad that she was able to do it on supernatural and with the cast and crew as it became her therapy in a way that made her feel comfortable and secure enough that she could be able to act childish off-camera inbetween scenes. when, she was in reality, in her late teens and early adult years, starting the show at fifteen years old. more on valencia's abusive childhood and all things mental health, supernatural, the infamous los angeles audition trip she went on, her relationship with fellow supernatural actor alexander calvert and so much more if you click the link in our bio. the video interview will also be available at that link as well if you'd rather watch it come from her directly. once again, thank you to valencia walker for being so open and honest with our interviewer, valerie tejeda and our editor elaine welteroth. you are such a class act, valencia and we love you to infinty and beyond. we cannot wait to have you both on vogue with us! 📸; peytonfulford

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valenciawalker thank you once again to elaine and valerie for being such amazing interviewers and editors during and after the interviews and photoshoot. such classy, lovely women i've ever had the pleasure of meeting and conversing with. i'll for sure love to come back to spill even more tea some other time!

alexandercalvert i was watching as ria was getting interviewed and it just made my heart so full to see how beautifully she was being treated which in turn helped those words come out of her mouth with ease, especially when it came to speaking about her upbringing. thank you so much teen vogue for everything in this interview and photoshoot!

jaredpadalecki getting to see and hear valencia finally open up about her childhood and getting that opportunity to talk about it i think has really been a blessing for all of us at spn, not just valencia. whilst it did break all of our hearts, getting to see valencia be the child she was never able to be in between scenes in seasons one-four was the biggest joy we could have seen. it always gave everyone the smiles and laughter we needed. most especially if the episode we were filming was an episode that was emotionally heavy dependent.

liked by vogue, robenedict, jensenackles and 1220 others

valenciawalker as well as a filmed interview with vogue, i also performed two lil cover performances of queen's love of my life and louden swain's she waits because why tf not, ya know?

love of my life by queen was a song of my childhood without a doubt. whilst i didn't have the best of childhoods, i was still grateful that i had my dad and six other siblings to help get me through the abuse that i was given the brunt of by our mother. love of my life was a song i could connect with, in a way that i really shouldn't have especially due to the way freddie mercury had written it. especially with the lyrics "love of my life, you've hurt me, you've broken my heart and now you leave me" because as a kid despite all the abuse, i was a kid and didn't know any better but to still love my mom despite all the hurt she gave me and put me through. she was also the first person to break my heart and then just leave me and the family without any warning so, that song is a song of mine that brings me some comfort when it shouldn't since it was originally written as a "break-up" song. and she waits by my gorgeous friends at louden swain, is the more obvious song that i can relate and connect with. just like my best friend rob benedict who is louden swain's lead singer, a parent of mine abused me and left without a warning. except, rob's and i's, whilst similar, are different from the parent that left. rob's father left whilst it was my mom that left. when i sing 'she waits' i sing about how no matter the hate i have for that woman, i'm still always going to hopelessly wait for her even though i know she's never going to come back. that lady who was supposed to be my mother, never was my mother because she left for another man and a whole other family just because she didn't like her youngest daughter who was me. thank you once again to voguefor being absolutely brilliant and so caring and sensitive. and thank you so much to peytonfulfordfor this amazingly cool photo of me laying on the floor after i had finished singing love of my life seconds before i had to quickly sit back up for my performances of she waits!

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vogue best celebrity we've ever interviewed in years! thanks again valencia!

robenedict best cover i've heard of she waits in the whole world! love you valencia!

jensenackles this interview was the best we've ever seen for our costar, thank you so much vogue!

peytonfulford this photoshoot with you valencia for sure was my favourite!

vogue

"I JUST WISH THAT MY MOM ACTUALLY LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO!" VALENCIA WALKER TALKS ABOUT HER ESTRANGED MOTHER TRICIA LAMB AND SUPERNATURAL, ALEXANDER CALVERT AND LOS ANGELES

WRITTEN BY: VALERIE TEJEDA AND ELAINE WELTEROTH | INTERVIEWER AND EDITOR

valencia walker | photo by: peyton fulford for vogue

talking with supernatural actress valencia walker was a real insight. when we think about the tall, beautiful, texan honey brunette actress we always go straight to her character, elodie winchester, on cw's hit show supernatural and don't even think about lying because i also go straight to elodie winchester too. however, there's more about valencia that meets the eye and i'm so glad i got to be the one to uncover it. speaking with valencia, i found out that her biological mother is brazillian, born and raised in latin america and her father is born and raised in texas. but, the first thing you think of when you look at valencia walker is not that she's a latin american-texan woman but that she's tall, she's intelligent, she's pretty but she's loving, kind, hospitable and she's a leader. as i talked further with valencia, this is what i found out in my interview.

bold fontis valerie and normalfont is valencia

hello, valencia, so nice to finally chat with you

hi valerie and likewise, i'm so excited to finally chat with you too

so just to get started right off the bat, can you tell everyone your name, where you're from and what you are best known for?

of course i can! so, my name is valencia walker, i was born and raised in houston, texas and i am best known for playing the youngest winchester sibling, elodie winchester on the hit cw show supernatural.

that's amazing. so, before i talk to you about all things supernatural, can we delve into what your early childhood before you joined supernatural was like as if i remember correctly, you joined the show in season one, when you were fifteen, is that correct?

of course we can and, yes, that is correct. i was fifteen years old when i started supernatural in season one so, i was still very young and impressionable but, i like to think i was taken care of very well.

but, before that, before supernatural, your childhood wasn't a typical, amazing childhood was it?

no, it wasn't. umm, for context, i have six other siblings so two brothers and three other sisters cause i'm the youngest out of the four sisters and of the whole family. but, i digress and, out of all of my siblings, i was the one that was despised by our biological mother.

that must have been hard growing up knowing that your own mother didn't love you

yeah, it was very difficult because i was so young, i had no idea that me just existing could be so annoying for someone who gave birth to me and then basically left me to be taken care of by anyone except for her.

but, that all changed when you got to a certain age where it got a lot worse, correct?

yes, it got so much worse when i was around two years old. it was at two years old that she started to abuse me and just be the absolute worse parent on the face of the earth. i mean, you wouldn't think a mother could stoop this low to her own child but, mine did and then stooped further after that as i got older than two years old.

that's awful and i know nothing i can say could change it. so, i bet you were relieved when your mother just up and left the family, abandoning you guys and ending the abuse you received from her? or was that the end of the abuse from your biological mother?

it is awful and i still wish, at the age i'm at now, that i could change it too. and, contrary to belief, i was distraught when she abandonded the family...

...really?

yeah, i'm serious. i was distraught because it was only when i was five...four? when she left so it was only a couple of years after she started abusing me that she just decided to walk out. but, because i didn't know that what she was doing at the time was abuse and hurting me, i thought she was loving me so i was so confused and upset when she left because i finally thought that she had started to love me after so many months and years of her loathing me.

that's devastating but, i bet you were glad as you got older and realised what she was doing that, when you joined supernatural at fifteen that, maybe, you could use that as a time to reclaim your childhood and is that something you wish you didn't have to do?

ooh, that's a good question and, yes i do. i just wish that my time on the first four seasons of supernatural weren't me attempting to reclaim and rebuild my childhood, not just the first season. and i say this because, i didn't have permission to have a childhood when i was an actual child, you know? i just wished that i didn't have to grow up so fast before i joined supernatural as it was so detrimental to the way i now feel towards certain people in my family - but, my mother most especially!

you mention "certain" people in your family, so it wasn't just your mother that abused you?

omg, no, no. i was only abused by my mother but, there were other people in my family that were complacent or were too proud to put their egos aside and realise that their daughter or their sister was abusing her own daughter that was a toddler and absolutely defenceless.

so, your own maternal grandparents and aunts and uncles didn't believe your father and siblings when being told that their own daughter/sister was abusive?

yeah, that's it basically so, since then, i've lost contact with the majority of them which is kinda sad but, when they can excuse abuse running in their own family and not do anything to stop it, they immediately get nothing in return from me.

so, is that just your mom's side of the family or were there people on dad's side of the family that also didn't believe it?

just my mother's side of the family with the exception of a few nieces and nephews who are now older and aunts and uncles that married into mom's side of the family but, other than that, it's just mom's side of the family. dad's side of the family were convinced straight away that mom had done some shady and awful things before it was even known by dad and my siblings. but only because i saw dad's side of the family a lot more than i saw mom's side.

wow, i cannot imagine. well, now that we've talked about the dark side of valencia *laughter* can we talk about the trip to los angeles that you went on with fellow supernatural costar, rob benedict?

of course we can but, hold your pearls guys, it's a wild ride *laughter*

it can't be that bad can it?

*valencia nods her head*

it's bad? holy crap well, tell us about it valencia. you mentioned in an instagram post that you were there for an audition?

yes, i was in los angeles for an audition with...can i say the company or will i get sued *valencia giggles*

you can say it, don't worry, if we need to blur it out in either the article or video interview we'll do that but, just say it anyway

okay well, it was an audition for a disney movie that my former agent actually forced me to audition for as the original reason for my trip to los angeles with rob was not for an audition. but flying over to los angeles, my former agent made it become an audition trip and yeah, it was just awful.

you're saying former agent, does that mean they no longer are your agent?

yes, i fired them because that trip was the fuse and it was time for them to go. they were awful, they were rude, condescending, didn't like the fact that i stayed on supernatural and the cw and didn't leave.

wow, you actually had the power to fire your old agent? that's amazing so, are you now still looking for a new agent or was a replacement given straight away?

yes i did and it felt really nice to fire the lady even though i'm not usually a mean person. and, i do have a replacement agent or should i say agents as i'm now representend by two people. they are a married couple and i absolutely adore them to pieces, they are amazing. and they love supernatural so, it's a win win.

going back to the disney audition, what happened to that? like what happened?

okay so, basically, like the old agent, the people that i was auditioning for were rude, condescending and really hated the fact that for my whole career, i've only been on the one network on the same show. and based on that, they decided that i was no longer the right fit for the role, even though they brought up the facts that i could sing, dance and act perfectly for the role of the main character. but then, they decided to change their minds and dump me which, in hindsight, i am grateful for otherwise i wouldn't be able to return to supernatural since i would have been filming and doing the circuts during the time of supernatural's filming.

and yeah, that whole experience was just awful and rubbed me completely the wrong way which was sad as, like most people, i love disney and their movies. so it was kind of a shame that the people i was auditioning for within the company were awful people.

well, speaking of supernatural, is there anything you can tell us or is everything under lock and key until the season premieres?

ooh, you know i love to spill supernatural tea whenever i can. so, what i can say and am allowed to reveal is that i have returned and there is an explanation as to where elodie has been this entire time between the tale end of last season and the start of this season. we also see flashbacks of elodie's time wherever it is she was and it's going to be mindblowing.

this is amazing! so, are we told straight away, like, is it revealed immediately where elodie's been or is it a slow reveal like it's going to be revealed over the course of a few episodes?

yes so, basically as soon as elodie returns back to the bunker she explains to her boyfriend cas, jack and her brothers as to where she's been as this entire time, they've all thought she was dead so, it's a real shock to their system when they find out that she wasn't dead at all.

and with supernatural, that is how you met your boyfriend, alexander, is that right?

yes, that is true. alexander calvert, who plays nephilim jack, is my boyfriend *giggles*.

so, is it weird that on screen, you are dating castiel who is the angel and your boyfriend is basically playing a literal two year old?

*giggles* i mean, at first i think it was weird cause obviously, we don't really know how old the actual "cas" is but, it is fun to pretend to date misha collins *giggles*

and alex doesn't mind it? he doesn't get jealous?

no, he doesn't mind at all! nor does he get jealous! because, techncially, in the show, jack sees all of these guys, sam, dean, elodie and cas as his family so, it doesn't bother alex at all. he finds it actually quite hilarious that me and misha are dating each other in the show.

that's so sweet. well, we all love alexander and jack here at vogue so, who was the first person to actually express their true feelings?

i think it was me first but alex wasn't too far behind so it was pretty quick and it wasn't awkward either so it kind of just happened organically kind of like how jared and his now wife genevieve fell in love during season four...

...i was just about to mention it reminds me of jared and genevieve's love story. that's so sweet! so, out of you and alex, who's the more romantic one?

ooh, i have to say that's alex but only because for the longest time, i had no idea what a legitmate, healthy relationship looked like until i saw jared and gen and jensen and danneel's relationships. but, i think i have started to become a little romantic as well as i'm always the one writing paragraphs and posting loads of photos on instagram and all that.

what is your favourite thing to do with alex that has nothing to do with supernatural?

ooh, i think i just love travelling with him and all the little adventures we get up too. like, we've been to hawaii together, we've surfed together, we've danced together. like, we've done so much together and i can't wait for that to continue.

if alex was to propose to you, who do you think he'd ask first, your dad or the three men of supernatural, jared, jensen and misha?

oh wow, that's a question! i mean, first, i think he would ask for my dad's permission but then i think he'd still go to jared, jensen and misha for their permission as well. cause, those three have known me and been with me longer at this point than my own dad and siblings have so, i think he'd ask all of them permission before proposing to me.

going back a little bit, in our intro to this article and interview, it's mentioned that you are a latin american texan cause your biological mother is from latin america. can you speak her native language from latin america?

yes, i actually can speak portugese and i love it, i've been fluent in it since birth. one of the only good memories i actually have with mom's side of the family. i mostly speak portugese to, umm, woo *giggles* alex most of the time. like, his contact in my phone is the portugese word for angel because on supernatural, he plays a nephilim which is a being that is half-human half-angel. but i sometimes also use it in supernatural which you can sometimes hear in the background. but, most of the time i use it to scare the cast because they think i'm yelling profanties at them but i'm actually telling them, quite aggressively, how much i love them *giggles*

aw, i love that even though you don't really have a strong relationship with the majority of your maternal side, that you didn't completely let go of it. so, do you speak portugese to the aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins that you have kept in contact with?

omg yes, those guys and me have a group chat and all we do is message in portugese and it's so much fun. it's literally one of my favourite group chats.

speaking of group chats, do you guys in supernatural have a group chat and what is it called and what are the nicknames you guys have assigned one another?

this is funny. so, there's i think two. one that's actually quite professional and has everyone from the cast and crew and then there's one with me, alex, jared, jensen and misha that's purely used for shits and gigs. and that one that i just mentioned is called supernatural beings. and, the nicknames are half angel half human for alex, mish is misha,(una) moosed is jared, the word "una" is in brackets by the way, squirrel is jensen and ria (de janerio) is me and the words de janerio are in brackets as well.

wow, those nicknames are incredible, did just one person come up with them and what do they mean for those who may not understand

thank you, it was actually me that gave everyone these nicknames excluding mine. jensen gave me my nickname. so, alex's is self explanatory, he plays a nephilim, misha's nickname is just the nickname i call him if i'm too lazy to just add the little a at the end of his name. jared's came from the fact that he's a moose but with the spin of the word "unamused". jensen's a squirrel so that's why that's his nickname and mine came about because jensen's daughter, jj, struggled to properly say my name. for ages, she used to call me valeria instead of valencia and we just never corrected her so she then started to shorten "valeria" and call me "ria" and then jensen added "de janerio" at the end because my biological mom is from rio de janerio, brazil! so the portugese we speak is known as brazilian portugese!

that's amazing and i'm so glad i asked that because i wouldn't have known that about you unless i asked so, i'm glad i got to find out something about you that i don't think i'd have known otherwise about.

oh you're welcome. i used to be ashamed of being latin american and texan but now that i'm older, i've embraced it and i love it about myself. and alex loves it too so, i'm winning at life.

one more question and it's in regards to supernatural and the future...

okay, hit me, what's the question?

when supernatural does end, where will you go? will you end up singing cause i've also found out that you're an amazing singer or will you stay in the acting industry and just hope that your agents find you a new acting role?

ooo that is an amazing question! and thank you for saying i'm an amazing singer *giggles*. umm, in all honesty, i'm not sure what or where i'll end up doing or i'll go after supernatural ends. but i would like to do both if you know what i mean, like, i may put out an album on the side whilst i do some little tv and movie projects here and there, who knows? but, right now, my main focus is definitely on this new season of supernatural.

well, that's our interview completed! thank you so much for letting me interview you, valencia! i've found out so much about you, as has everyone watching this video and reading the article!

no thank you for letting me be here! it's been a true honour and i've loved it!

once again, a huge thank you to valencia and her management team for letting me interview her. it was an honour and i'm so glad she was able to be so open and real and raw with me and honest in her answers to my questions, even the ones that were personal. if you wanna know more about valencia and keep up with her, you can follow her on instagram at her handle which is just valencia walker.

valencia walker | photo creds: valenciawalker on instagram

TAGS: VALENCIA WALKER - SUPERNATURAL - LOS ANGELES

ALEXANDER CALVERT AND GIRLFRIEND VALENCIA WALKER IN HAWAII

SUPERNATURAL HAS RETURNED FOR THEIR FOURTEENTH SEASON

LOOK THROUGH THIS GALLERY OF SUPERNATURAL COUPLES INCLUDING ALEXANDER CALVERT & VALENCIA WALKER AND JARED PADALECKI & GENEVIEVE PADALECKI

valencia couldn't resist the smile on her face as she saw all the positivity about her newest interview article with vogue blow up in front of her. she felt like a kid in a candy store as she saw all the comments about how inspirational and an amazing influence she was for teenagers and young people everywhere.

"...thank you again for this interview and live performance valencia. you were absolutely brilliant to chat with today. we cannot wait for you to come back with the rest of the supernatural cast one day!" elaine, one of the editors of vogue conversed with the young actress as they exited out of the vogue building

"aw, thank you elaine! this was so much fun, i'm absolutely privileged to have had this opportunity with you. so, thank you for allowing me to speak about it and be honest!" valencia spoke as the ladies hugged before parting their separate ways

as she then recieved a message from jared or, as he's known in her contacts as, moose.

moose

hey ria, i know you were just at vogue but, how far away are you from set?

hey jare, i'm like five minutes away. why, is everything okay?

yeah, everything's fine. we're just chatting about season fifteen being the final season of supernatural.

oh yeah, i forgot we were in talks about that since last season

so wait, we have been renewed for season fifteen then?

yes we have baby girl. we got renewed but, we're thinking in march that we'll announce that season fifteen's our final

okay, so, we have a couple of months to let it sink in before we release it publically, that's cool

i mean, are you okay with it?

umm yeah, of course i am. i know how badly you, mish and jensen miss your kids and wives!

thanks love but, we just want to make sure that just because the rest of us are ready that you are also ready. we know how much being on supernatural has meant to you and how it's been like therapy. we're just worried that what we think is the right time to finish isn't the right time for you, that's all.

jared, please, don't be worried. yes, season fifteen is the right time for us to hang up the show. i've been on it since i was fifteen. i've also been worried but, that's okay, i'm truly ready to hang up elodie's hat and honestly, i've been ready for a little while now.

as long as you're sure because we'll be recording then uploading a video in march that announces that the announcement of season fifteen is our final season just so they hear it directly from us first.

okay, understandable. and a great idea but holy shit, that'll be a hard video to film.

i know sweetpea but it's like like you said

yeah, it just seems crazy that we've been the longest running sci-fi tv show in america on the cw, you know?

i know love, it is insane but, that's the beauty of a show like this. we have the privilege to be going on for this long and then have the ultimate decision whether or not we want to continue.

even without all the awards, all that's mattered is the family we created over the fifteen years

just hit the nail on the head ria. it doesn't matter that we don't have all the awards for supernatural. the only thing that matters is the community and family that's been formed because of the show.

the text conversation went on for a few minutes before valencia drove back to the supernatural set lot so she could be made aware of everything else that jared couldn't tell her over text. since some stuff can only be told face to face which was completely understandable. knowing that after finishing season thirteen with elodie winchester's mind-blowing return to supernatural to where they were in the middle of season fourteen, the renewal of season fifteen and that being the final season, there was a lot to process for the cast and crew of supernatural. but, that was the beauty of their show. there was never a dull moment when you're a part of supernatural. they were finshing filming for season fourteen in march on the twenty-sixth before it was to be released in october so they could then start filming for their final season, fifteen, in july 2019. season fifteen was going to be absolutely bittersweet but just as enjoyable as any other season.

- - -

ik i may have confused y'all with the timeline but, trust me, i didn't.

ok bye ily xx

wc; 5129

#supernatural cast #angsty #fluff #alexander calvert #valencia walker #misha collins #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #rob benedict #genevieve padalecki #danneel ackles #carry on

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