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letholojimin · 6 years

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HOUR 9 (JJK)

STUCK SERIES - HOUR 9

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Themes: high school au, badboy & fuckboy jungkook

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,517

Summary: After being labelled the school’s biggest bad boy, Jeon Jungkook chooses to live up to the title. What he doesn’t know is that his arrogance will lead him to you.

HOUR 8 | 10 | MASTERLIST

Jungkook takes you out on a date.

Jeon Jungkook treats you well- extremely well. He waves at you in the hallways, spends his breaks with you to the point that the boys even invite you and your other friends over to their table and he even carries your damn books for you, for god’s sake. Inevitably, your friend group expands to the rest of BTS as well. Your usual squad was extremely shook at first considering the maknae of the most popular group had practically taken an obvious, undeniable interest in you over the weekend. Of course, you had to sit them down in your house after school of Monday and the day after, they no longer wondered why more people stared at you in the hallways.

When they invited you guys to sit over at your table though, they were still surprised because they were legends on campus and they invited them to sit over. Everyone knew that meant a group merge in the high school dictionary and when you and the six other girls sat down at their table, there were so many gasps. You were pretty scared too but the boys quickly made you all comfortable.

Seokjin eventually spilled to you that it was Jungkook’s idea and you looked at him, a sheepish smile grazing his lips. He scratched the back of his head and the girls quickly understood why. At first, you were scared he was just acting on impulse since you’d become something pretty much overnight but when the guys treated you the way they did and when he reassured you again and again over the span of the week, you simply gave in and believed that his intentions were genuine.

Of course, you’d still get weird looks from people who probably wanted to befriend the boys but then again, what could you do? It’s not everyday someone gets stuck in school for the entire night, especially with one of the members of BTS.

When Friday came around, you were dismissed at 2:00 and you went straight home. Your closest friend in your clique came with you as you both discussed the date you were going on with Jungkook. She was happy for you since she’d seen how he reacted around you and how much you smiled around each other so naturally, she was more than willing to help you out. He hadn’t told you where you were going but he did say that you should wear something semi-formal. With information that vague, you knew you were damned if you prepared alone.

“He literally told me to wear something semi-formal? What the hell does that mean? Clothes are either formal or not formal!” You groan, ready to pull your hair out. When you were younger, you’d pretty much vowed not to be like those girls who got extremely stressed over dates in the movies, but here you were. “Jesus, Y/N. Calm down.” Jisoo says, slightly amused at how much you were panicking.

She walks into your closet and you follow after her, taking a seat on the soft stool nearby. Jisoo scans through your wardrobe and skims her hands across several pieces of hanging fabric. It’s not long before she pulls out a white dress that flows out at the waist. It’s rather chaste but it definitely isn’t a bad choice. She throws you the clothing and tells you to try it on, now checking your shoes for something to match. You get up and take the nude one-inch heels from her.

Not long after, you’ve changed from your robe to the white dress and the nude heels Jisoo recommended that you wear. She tells you look great and you’re thankful but worried she’s only saying that since she’s your best friend. “Like I said, calm down. I know this is your first date and that you’re worried but Jungkook will find you stunning. I bet my ass on this.” You fall down on the chair in front of your dresser and turn the lights of your mirror on.

Jisoo immediately walks over to you and pulls out the top drawer of your dresser, revealing your makeup products. She tells you she’ll opt for something light and natural looking before getting to work. She was practically everyone’s go-to makeup artist and stylist since she was the best at both and she really enjoyed dressing up and putting on makeup. Maybe it was the reason why she was extremely relaxed during the sophomore ball last year.

After quite some time, she finishes and then she curls your hair in light waves. You’re surprised (not really) to see how well she did and it seems like you’re barely wearing any product on your face. By then it’s six o’clock and you’ve finished in the nick of time. Jungkook told you he’d pick you up at 6:30 after all.

Jisoo leaves soon after but not before she hugs you and tells you how old she feels now that you’re finally going on your first date. She’s seen your previous happy crushes and the men you’ve actually rejected and how you’d chosen to go alone for the ball last year and now look at you- actually liking someone enough to let them take you out. You never even expected to be have done what you did exactly one week ago but it happened anyway, that’s how much he had an effect on you.

You can’t exactly say you were inexperienced with boys- you simply learned from the life stories of your other friends and you’ve had your fair share of almost-somethings but none of them were ever serious. If there was one thing for sure, it was that you hadn’t let anyone kiss you more so touch you like that ever before though and you never let anyone take you out. Nothing was ever considered a date since you’d always be around other people.

After stalling on social media for what seemed like a few minutes, the doorbell rang and you already knew someone from your family would answer and you gave yourself a second to appear more composed than you actually were, grabbing your sling bag. You walk down the stairs, hand on the railing and everything just to make sure you wouldn’t accidentally make a fool out of yourself.

When you get down from the last step, you see your father talking to Jungkook near the doorway. Your mom raises an eyebrow at you from the corner of the living room where she’s on her phone and she puts a thumb up, signaling that she did at least find him good looking. It’s your chance to actually see what he looks like from afar, knowing that you’re still obscured from his view. He’s wearing a white button up with black slacks and a matching black cardigan. He’s really handsome, you think to yourself. At least I’ll be fitting his description for semi-formal.

You interrupt the conversation between your dad and the boy and soon enough you’re leaving the house but not before your parents kiss your cheek and remind you to be home by ten-thirty to which you wave off a simple ‘got it’.

He does what he had done for you a week ago, opening your door for you. You get in the car wordlessly and wait for him to do the same. “So where are we going?” You ask, finally letting curiosity get the best of you since you’ve been asking yourself the question ever since he told you he was taking you out. “You’ll find out soon enough.” He replies nonchalantly, and you’re left to fiddle at the hem of your dress, waiting to arrive at your destination.

He drives for around twenty minutes and there’s a lingering thought that he really is about to kidnap you but you dismiss it, knowing it’s a ridiculous idea. Later on, he pulls up at a well-lit area and he walks over to your side, opening the door for you once again. This time, he puts his hand out for you to take and you gladly accept it, heart fluttering when he kisses your knuckles. “My lady,” He says, and you respond with a light-hearted smile, about to clutch your chest from how much of a gentleman he’s being.

There’s a faint sound of waves around the place and you already know you’re near the sea. The air smells like the beach and you wonder just how much thought he has put into this because this isn’t something that would just pop into someone’s head. He takes your hand in his and links it together as you walk to the reception area, Jungkook informing the man about his reservation under Jeon. The man ushers you to a two-seater table right outside the indoor area, the place overlooking the sea.

“It’s gorgeous.” You breathe out when he pulls out your chair for you to sit down. To your surprise, he bends down to your level and presses his lips to your temple lightly, leaving a light kiss before moving down to your ear. “Not as gorgeous as you, love.”

You’ve been working so hard on trying not to blush at every single thing he does but that just cuts it, leaving you flustered as he chuckles, sitting down in front of you. A waiter soon places a menu before each one of you and your eyes scan through the various choices, seeing that the place is an Italian restaurant. You’re just about to order whatever the hell you want but then you see the price beside it and you’re just about ready to walk out of the place for good. “What will you be having, Y/N?” He asks and you snap out of your trance.

“Water.” You reply, closing the menu and looking at his eyes, the rest of his face hidden by the menu. “I’m serious.” He says and you sigh, knowing that what you’re gonna say is not necessarily nice but it is necessary. “Kookie, can’t we eat somewhere else?”

“Do you not like the food here?” He asks, just about ready to get his blazer from the back of his chair. “No! No, it’s not that…” You accidentally say a little too loud and he gives you a skeptical look, willing you to speak more.

“I am not willing to buy a bowl of carbonara for 20,000 won.” You finally say out loud, and his hand reaches forwards to meet with yours. “Y/N, I’m going to pay for everything, don’t worry a single bit, okay? Just get whatever you want.”

“That doesn’t really make me feel any better, you know.”

The waiter interrupts you two though, and Jungkook orders exactly what you told him not to and some kind of salad for himself. Defeated, you simply lean back into your chair and ask for water when the waiter asks for what beverage you’d like.

The rest of your meal consists of the two of you getting to know each other more. When you ask him how he had found this place, he tells you that he’s been there for a family dinner when his brother graduated high school. You’re honored enough to know that he’d take you to a place with such a nice memory but it’s even more overwhelming when he tells you he only remembered this place because you appreciate his love for stars. On a night like this when the sky is clear of clouds and the stars litter the horizon, you’re well aware that he’s enjoying the view.

You finish your food and Jungkook pays for everything, much to your dismay. You know the bill wasn’t light but he had insisted saying that he was also paying you back for the breakfast you had last time. You replied with a ‘but that was a diner,’ but he only laughed and held your hand as you walked down the platform of the restaurant onto the walkway on the sand.

It’s a bit chilly and he notices how you’re slightly shivering from the cold wind. At this time, the moon is the main source of light aside from some lamps littering the area. There’s a calm vibe surrounding you and Jungkook as he drapes his outerwear over your shoulders, you thanking him in response. You worry about him but he tells you he’s fine since his button up is long sleeved.

“You know, I never thought I’d have my first date with you,” You finally say, breaking the silence. He stops walking, turning to face you. “This is your first date?”

Shit. Why did you say that?

You realize there’s no point in denying it especially since you’ve already said it out loud so you’re left to look down to the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes as you nod. He sees how embarrassed you’ve suddenly become and he places his fingers under your jaw, forcing you to face him. Jungkook was pretty sure you were a virgin from how you reacted to his touch but he didn’t think you’ve never been on a date before- those are two completely different things.

“God, Y/N,” He whispers and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. By this point, you’re frozen in place, feet planted on the ground. He leans in closer to you and looks you in the eyes and you’re practically melting from his touch. “You have no idea how crazy you make me…” His voice softens and he trails off, nudging your nose with his. Your breath hitches in your throat when his lips finally touch yours after what seemed like forever. His free hand was placed at the small of your back, pulling you in closer. He tilts his head sideways to deepen the kiss and you can feel the passion he puts into it- enough to make your knees weak.

You pull Jungkook closer by placing a hand on his right shoulder, weaving your other one through his hair. By now, you’ve observed that it’s something that drives him insane- he suddenly kisses you with more intensity than before. Your heart flutters from how he’s holding you so gently and your head blanks at how much of a contrast it is from the way his mouth is moving against yours. Your dress flows in the direction of the wind as you pull apart, breaths coming in heavy pants.

“Be mine.” He says, and you look straight into his eyes this time, foreheads leaning against each other. “What?”

“Be mine,” Jungkook repeats, praying you say yes to his request. “Please.”

You can hear the raw emotion laced in his voice and you don’t know how long he’s been waiting for a reply. You already know what you will say will be something you fully mean because he isn’t the only one who feels so much. You want to stay there forever, the sea beside you and the moonlight grazing his face in the most heavenly way possible.

“Okay.” You find the words escaping your lips.

“I’m yours.”

YO OKAY I LITERALLY WROTE THIS WHILE WATCHING MAMA HENCE THE GIF + JUNGKOOK’S OUTFIT!! CONGRATS TO BTS FOR WINNING ARTIST OF THE YEAR + BEST ASIAN STYLE + BEST MUSIC VIDEO IM SO HAPPY FOR AND PROUD OF THEM!!

you will get ur smut soon ok

tell me what you think of gentleman!jungkook, he’s in high school but here’s a side note: his hyungs actually had to teach him how to act around y/n. this is also the longest chapter of the stuck series!!

233 notes · View notes

writerspink · 5 years

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5.2

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6.1

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stance vie instill exceptional avail strident formidable rebuke enhance benign perspective tedious aloof encroach memoir mien desolate inventive prodigy staple stint fallacy grope vilify recur assail tirade antics recourse clad jurisdiction caption pseudonym reception humane ornate sage ungainly overt sedative amiss convey connoisseur rational enigma fortify servile fastidious contagious elite disgruntled eccentric pioneer abet luminous era sleek serene proficient rue articulate awry pungent wage deploy anarchy culminate inventory commemorate muster adept durable foreboding lucrative modify authority transition confiscate pivotal analogy avid flair ferret decree voracious imperative grapple deface augment shackle legendary trepidation discern glut cache endeavor attribute phenomenon balmy bizarre gullible loll rankle decipher sublime rubble renounce porous turbulent heritage hover pithy allot minimize agile renown fend revenue versa gaunt haven dire doctrine intricate conservative exotic facilitate bountiful cite panorama swelter foster indifferent millennium gingerly conscientious intervene mercenary citadel obviously rely supportive sympathy weakling atmosphere decay gradual impact noticeable recede stability variation approximately astronomical calculation criterion diameter evaluate orbit sphere agricultural decline disorder identify probable thrive expected widespread bulletin contribution diversity enlist intercept operation recruit survival abruptly ally collide confident conflict protective taunt adaptation dormant forage frigid hibernate insulate export glisten influence landscape native plantation restore urge blare connection errand exchange

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feasible teem pang vice tycoon succumb capacious onslaught excerpt eventful forfeit crusade tract haggard susceptible exemplify ardent crucial excruciating embargo disdain apprehend surpass sporadic flustered languish conventional disposition theme plunder ignore project complaint title dramatic delivery litter experimental clinic arrogance preparation remind atomic occasional conscious deny maturity closure stressed translator animate observation physical further gently registration suppress combination amazing constructive allied poetry passion ecstasy mystery cheerful contribution spirit failed gummy commerce prove disagreement raid consume embarrass preference migrant devour encouragement quote mythology destined destination illuminating struggle accent ungrateful giggle approval confidence expose scientist operation superstitious emergency manners absolutely swallow readily mutual bound crisp orient stress sort stare comfort verbal heel challenging advertisement envious sex scar astonish basis accuracy enviable alliance specific chef embarrassed counter tolerable sympathetic gradually vanish informative amaze royal furry insist jealousy simplify quiver collaborate dedicated flexible function mimic obstacle technique archaeologist fragment historian intact preserve reconstruct remnant commence deed exaggeration heroic impress pose saunter wring astound concealed inquisitive interpret perplexed precise reconsider suspicious anticipation defy entitled neutral outspoken reserved sought equal absorb affect circulate conserve cycle necessity seep barren expression meaningful plume focused genius perspective prospect stunned superb transition assume guarantee nominate

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10.2

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K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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'LOVE ISLAND' RECAP: As The Villa Drama Increased, So Too Did Cassidy's Frizz

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/love-island-recap-as-the-villa-drama-increased-so-too-did-cassidys-frizz/

'LOVE ISLAND' RECAP: As The Villa Drama Increased, So Too Did Cassidy's Frizz

We’re at that bit in Love Island Australia where some people are (relatively) firmly coupled up and there’s some single people who in Love Island years have been single forever. Read: one week. In short, it’s the mildly blah bit before someone is thrust into the villa who fucks up an existing relationship or dramatically falls in love with one of the single people and things get really exciting again. We all thought that would be Jax but here we are with everyone in there talking about him like he’s the height of a toddler even though he seems to be preeeetty average on the height-scale. WHAT DO YOU WANT, LADIES. Honestly.

Aaaaanyway last night was a re-coupling that wasn’t super dramatic but did see Natasha head home, and we had a bit of a “tiffle” (honestly what dictionary did these people study in primary school) between mum and dad aka Erin and Eden. Oh and for some reason all the contestants had to hump each other’s asses to pop balloons. As you do.

OFC Josie (Head of Editorial) and moi (Senior Style & Features Editor) are here to wrap it all up in a nice little package for you guys.

JOSIE: Okay I’m showered and here.

MEL: Fantastic. You can watch some horrible Big Bang Theory with me.

JOSIE: Were there any jokes in that five minutes of Big Bang Theory. It was not funny.

MEL: I have never once remotely laughed at Big Bang Theory. Not one single time. It is literally the sewer of comedy.

JOSIE: OK so did Cassidy get a perm in the time since I watched this show?

that kind of “undone casual look” that takes 90 mins and 12 cans of hairspray to pull off

MEL: OK so I love Cassidy’s hair right now, but also yes there’s no way those are “this is how my hair looks when I let it air dry!”

JOSIE: She had dead straight hair last time I watched it. I struggle to believe those curls are au naturale. Also – who the hell are those two people talking. I’ve never seen them. OH ITS FAKE JAX!

MEL: Yep, that’s Jax and new girl Mac. Side note about Mac – Kate was like “everyone says she has amazing eyes but she has like half a Mecca eye palette on there” – extremely true. She does have nice eyes but also I could probably have amazing eyes if I knew how to blend eye shit (I don’t).

JOSIE: I didn’t even notice her eyes. Just her huge wedgie.

MEL: Yes there’s been a ramping up of the butts on this show in the last week. To be fair if you ever watch the UK version, it’s like 100% butts, guys and girls, all the time. So the Australian butts are tame, really. Meanwhile, Elias DGAF I’m just here for the free alcohol mood is so extremely good. His disinterest in actually meeting someone on a show entirely about meeting someone is really terrific, to me.

JOSIE: What’s the vibe do you think he’ll pick Sheryl / Françoise tonight? Oh wait lol he literally just pushed Sheryl out of the way while they were hunting for a bug. Why is he so obsessed with bugs.

just looking for something with my IQ levels here

MEL: He is literally Mr. Bugman or some shit. Like he is the exact person who would get bitten by a radioactive rare Mallorca bug and become a conflicted superhero at this point. CANNOT STAY AWAY FROM THE BUGS. Next episode the producers will have bought him one of those bug homes we all had as kids. Anyway, he’s just blown Millie off so he has no one else besides Françoise and he absolutely 100% DOESN’T CARE – but I think he’ll pick Françoise just to stay in the game for ample daiquiri consumption.

JOSIE: Natasha getting simple phrases wrong is funny to me. “I’m on the chopping board”. Yes Tash you are a large carrot.

MEL: She does it constantly how does she get so many wrong. As I said before – what dictionary did these people have as kids.

JOSIE: I don’t think she’s ever read a book. Elias looks so so bored.

what time does the drinks fridge open

MEL: Honestly Elias is a manly 12 year old. Is he actually an underage teenager who has faked being 22 to get into the show.

JOSIE: I think he’s definitely 16. His facial hair is too even like he sprayed it out of a can. Also Sheryl has those fake glasses you just purchased, Mel.

this person absolutely has perfect vision

MEL: Hahahaha she so does. Love fake glasses. So Cassidy is being KIND of a snake…

JOSIE: I don’t believe she likes Josh.

MEL: Exactly. She’s suddenly like “oh hiiiii joshhhhhh mmmmm your pecs are sexyyyy” and keeps touching him and rubbing his back. I’m not about it.

mm beb if i just stand within 5cm of you at all times it’ll fool EVERYONE

JOSIE: So last time I watched she was flouncing around with the shits about Grant…

MEL: So basically she’s over that and then Jaxon came in obsessed with her, and then she decided he was too short. Now she conveniently likes Josh, right before a recoupling in which she could absolutely get sent home.

JOSIE: She’s turned into Tayla.

MEL: She has a fair point about the friendship pacts Natasha keeps making with the guys, like “we don’t like each other but let’s couple up to stay in here”. No one’s there to be pals, beb. Fine to do once or twice but the show is not Platonic Man Friend Island.

JOSIE: Yeah that’s true too. But then like you’ve said Cassidy / Josh doesn’t seem genuine either.

MEL: It’s very suss. But also I mean that’s the game??? Maybe?? IDK. I’m very conflicted about Cassidy’s fake love for Josh.

JOSIE: So what happens if a fake couple wins?

MEL: I’m fairly sure eventually we will be voting for couples, from memory of the UK version. So it’s unlikely coz viewers are like LMAO YOURE BULLSHIT! and don’t vote for them.

JOSIE: So you’d have to put in a Logie worthy performance to convince viewers you’re legit. I get it.

MEL: The thing is if Cassidy played it more authentically it would work but she’s like rubbing Josh’s back like they can’t wait to romantically embrace and then suck each other’s faces off their bodies.

JOSIE: Quick ad segue because how good does the Macca’s Footy Feast look.

MEL: I remember getting those Macca’s dinner packs as a child and Mum denies it because she thinks buying us Macca’s for dinner makes her a bad mum. But I REMEMBER, HELEN.

JOSIE: How tall is Jax? They’re talking as if the poor bloke is 4’11”.

MEL: Right?I think he’s maybe like 5’11. I feel like they’re all being like “Ohhhh Jaxon is short” but like half of the girls are pretty short… ladies not everyone gets the 6’10 guy.

JOSIE: Absolutely not.

MEL: They’re all imagining they’ll score a basketballer and that is NOT REALITY. Also wouldn’t you rather a short guy who is an angelface from heaven than sucky suckerson Grant who isn’t even THAT TALL?

JOSIE: Also LOL Josh being like “I’m just under 6’1″. Okay, so you’re 5’11” then, Josh.

MEL: Hahahha every dude ever – “I’m 6’1”. I feel like every time I click a Tinder bio the dude is like “6”1″. Also when the girls were like “Ballsacks really scare me” – SAME. Extreme mood.

JOSIE: It’s so weird the way balls are just housed in there. And hang there. Like inside yet outside the body.

MEL: It’s such a weird thing. And the balls feel weird like pebbles? Large pebbles. Sliding around in a bag of skin.

JOSIE: Lychees.

MEL: Yes!!! Exact!

JOSIE: I like all my bits being inside my body, safe.

MEL: Yep I’m glad I don’t have external sex appendages.

JOSIE: Meanwhile the BBQ convo that Josh and Grant are having is hurting my brain. Stop talking about facts. You can’t do your times tables.

but like did they ever prove that E=mc2

MEL: Honest to god every convo that’s had on this show except ones about the villa relationships concerns me. They all just say words, I never know what’s being discussed.

JOSIE: OMG Eden is making an emotional speech like they’re at his and Erin’s engagement BBQ.

MEL: That was PAINFUL. Eden and Erin are like the mum and dad of the villa now which is mildly terrifying. Ummm have they been forced to dance in a circle?

saddest flash mob of all time

JOSIE: That entire BBQ moment – stop. Also every girl is dressed like she’s going to Future Music Festival.

i’ll hide my pingers up here shall i

MEL: Also – how is Tayla talking about Girl Code. She’s the last person in that place who can talk about Girl Code. Like fine you’re with Grant now but don’t you come in here calling other women out for being snaky. You are the Ultimate Snake (so far).

JOSIE: Oh no. This argument. We have trouble in Paradise with Erin and Eden.

MEL: Eden needs to chill out. But also I loled at Grant being all “lol eden take a joke” considering last week when Tayla’s heart rate rose for Elias and not him during the stripping game, and he looked like he had pooed in his mouth.

JOSIE: Eden is such a caveman though. Like Erin says one cheeky thing and he has to restrain from clubbing her off the cliff. If my bf got that cut every time I said something thirsty he’d be cut 85% of the time.

MEL: It’s all so neanderthal. I’m living for Erin being all “have you ever seen a baby and you take it’s toys away and it doesn’t like the DVD you put on for it, that’s Eden” burn though. She’s becoming my favourite there I said it.

JOSIE: I love Erin. I’ve watched his show three (3) times and she is a joy each time. I like be that instead of getting upset then she was just like “you’re a knob”. Except she accidentally starved the baby to death in the story.

MEL: Yeah she doesn’t take his shit, it’s great. Meanwhile Cassidy is a lost cause for me now because her fake Josh feelings have overridden my support for her after what Grant did. Like hi hello you don’t like Josh but you’ll happily fake it so you stay over these other women.

JOSIE: But isn’t that the game. I don’t understand the game.

MEL: Kind of but I feel like she was so high horsey about Tayla and Grant that it’s like well now you’re kind of being a bit shady. Because you’re cutting out Tash by pretending to like Josh. Who likely would have picked Tash again if you didn’t start dry humping him gently in the kitchen 24 hours before re-coupling.

JOSIE: Oh of course. And also – Grant and Tayla clearly do like each other coz that’s still going strong. So yes they were grot but at least not pretending. Josh seems quite fooled by her though, if she is lying. It’s working on him. Wow Sheryl, that card playing analogy sucked. I call her Sheryl because fucked if I’m typing her fake “French name”.

MEL: Also because her name is 1000% Sheryl IRL. I feel a bit for her since she’s chasing a disinterested teenager.

JOSIE: Same. Also Cassidy is curling her hair. We have evidence it’s not “natural”.

MEL: Someone’s brought a curler into the villa, clearly, because Tayla is also curling her hair. Maybe it’s their tactic against the vicious Mallorca humidity?

JOSIE: Oh Jesus, where did these Cassidy waterworks come from. DOLL YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN YOUR MAKEUP. WHICH YOU WERE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH DOING.

MEL: Ok I think these people need to just be like look worst case I go back to Newy or the GC or wherever they’re from. Life goes on, you know? We don’t get to live in Mallorca forever. So who cares if you hit the end of the line, it’s not worth breaking down over imo. But I think she’s scarred from the Grant sitcho. It’s rejection fear.

JOSIE: Real question. Is she wearing a towel or a dress.

tonight i’m dressed by Dri-Glo

MEL: I actually don’t know and that is the honest truth. It may be a dress.

JOSIE: I won’t sleep tonight wondering about that.

MEL: PSA that Justin is, as always, an angel. I genuinely love him now and would 100/10 date him. I can’t believe they’re all overlooking him. I know he’s a bit camp and I think they’re all hung up on dumb superficial shit like height and sounding like a pack-a-day brickie, but come ON. He’s smart, and funny, and kind!

when this man is the catch of Love Island you know you’ve got problems

JOSIE: He hasn’t spoken once in this episode and it’s not good enough.

MEL: It’s not good enough at ALL. Justin and Erin are all that’s getting me through currently.

JOSIE: How’s Tayla’s “OIYE GORT A TERXXXTTT” screaming.

MEL: Literally screaming into the abyss except everyone was 5 metres from her mouth.

not sure if you heard me down in Tasmania but i got a text

JOSIE: Is it me or does Mac look like Ivanka Trump.

Ivanka Trump, Senior Adviser to the US President

MEL: Omg YES.

Mac, Love Island contestant

JOSIE: How tense is this recoupling.

MEL: That initial bit where it was like “is Mac going to pick Josh we don’t know”. Fuuuuck I was feeling Cassidy’s tension there. Also I wish Millie and Justin would just fall in love. How do we force that to happen. Drugs? Manipulation?

JOSIE: Does Millie like him at all?

MEL: No they’re just mates.

JOSIE: Whyyyyy he’s so nice. Oh my god Tayla’s vagina was almost showing just then.

MEL: Right? I love the zesty side splits on the dresses but they mean no undies so like BE MORE CAREFUL unless you want a Paris Hilton getting out of a car in the 00’s moment. Remember when she would always flash her vajootz? I don’t even think she cared tbh. Meanwhile Erin’s earrings are fab.

i know right

JOSIE: I’m sorry I got distracted by Eden saying “Tiffle”. As in “we had a tiffle”. I quit life, I just cannot with these people. Ugh. Elias is so beautiful. A beautiful idiot.

MEL: Elias is so beautiful and absolutely off with the fairies. His brain is with the bugs. The friend of the bugs.

JOSIE: The humidity has not been kind to Cassidy’s head. The curl solution was not a solution, clearly.

what have i done

MEL: It seems to be getting worse with each stressful moment.

JOSIE: That Cassidy/Josh kiss was devoid of anything.

MEL: Yeah coz she is prob repulsed by him. Bye Tash I won’t miss you sorry. I will literally forget your name in an hour.

JOSIE: Sophie Monk couldn’t get out of there quick enough lol. She is me watching this show. Cassidy is all dead in the eyes isn’t she?

MEL: Can’t wait for her to be like yeah nah bye Josh.

JOSIE: Also Erin is too good for Eden. He just repeats everything she says. They will just fuck a lot and then she will get over it. Nice for Ivanka and Charlie to get together, by the way.

MEL: The two fake celebrities, together.

JOSIE: I can’t wait for this new guy. I’m laughing at his “I AM THE TALLEST” comment. Why do guys care so much. Why do GIRLS care so much.

MEL: Omg the girls are going to love this large muscle with a head.

JOSIE: Just a big bicep with eyes. Can’t wait.

Image: Channel Nine

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4ever-untitled · 6 years

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My Favorite 20 albums of 2017!

Do these things really need an introduction? This year sucked once again, so let’s just focus on the good music that happened okay? Without further ado, my favorite 20 albums of 2017:

Honorable mentions

St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION

Rapsody - Laila’s Wisdom

Blanck Mass - World Eater

Kesha - Rainbow

Pond - The Weather

Rostam - Half-Light

Birthing Hips - Urge To Merge

20. Alex G - Rocket

“Incoherent” is a word I suppose you could use to describe Rocket, the seventh album from Alex Giannascoli, but I prefer the term “idea-full”. When your head is full of shit to say, it’s not all gonna come out as a simple little guitar ditty. It might come out as a strange looping piano ballad, or even a Death Grips-esque noise rap track. What I’m saying is, feelings are complex and hard to pin down, and Alex G does his best to wrestle with them on here. It’s a balls-to-the-wall, heart-on-your-sleeve country/folk/rock/noise odyssey that feels immensely personal and universal at the same time. Incoherent? Hey, aren’t we all?

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPuxLpVus-k

19. Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory

Everyone’s doing trap. Everyone’s doing mumble rap with the Migos flow. Fuck rattling high hats. Fuck ad-libs. Big Fish Theory was an important statement this year; a high profile rapper who teamed up with some underground electronic music producers (not beat makers) to make something truly unique that tried to give the hip-hop envelope a little shove. Here’s the thing though: it still goes really REALLY hard. Vince took a lot of risks on Big Fish Theory, songwriting and production wise, and the results speak for themselves.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6iAzyhm0p0

18. Mount Kimbie - Love What Survives

Sometimes cold, nearly inhuman music can be some of the most emotionally potent. Radiohead's Kid A comes to mind. Albums that are unflinchingly ugly in their worldview and take every effort to make the music sound like it was created against their will, or perhaps by some machine. Love What Survives manages to sound distant, even otherworldly, and yet also jam packed with feeling. Electronic music has an inherent disconnect to it, like the listener was never considered in the first place, but Mount Kimbie manages to put a great amount of humanity to their throbbing electro post-punk. The results, a mix of electronic bleakness and a rich emotional core, are extraordinarily potent front to back, with excellent vocal performances from some of indie music's most unique voices. Mount Kimbie puts humanity into ugly music because, when you take a good look at it, life as a human is pretty damn ugly.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1kzMFnFSh0

17. Neil Cicierega - Mouth Moods

(Read my full review here) Yes, I’m serious. You know why I’m serious? Because everyone has their thing. We all have our little niche that we fulfill in this world. We all have something we’re good at. Neil Cicerega’s niche (while he is multi-talented) is making mashup albums, and I’ll be damned if he’s not the best at it. With this, his third installment in the Mouth series, Neil has made the mashup a form of high art. The lines between ironic enjoyment and genuine appreciation are blurred as songs you’ve become familiar with are chopped and screwed and combined in a way that seems in one sense horrific, but in another sense totally amazing. Mouth Moods is hilarious and incredibly enjoyable, but after a couple listens, you don’t listen to laugh, you listen to appreciate. A lot of time and care went into these tracks, and the mere idea of some of these combinations are commendable in their own right (AC/DC’s ”Back in Black” and Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” absolutely should not work together, and yet...) This is some of the most fun I’ve had with an album this year, and many moments left me genuinely very impressed, so I’d say that more than justifies it being on this list. It’s not just a meme. This is good music, whether you like it or not.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsoCe7C4Kmk

16. milo - who told you to think??!!??!!??

“I don’t even really have to rap/my nigga, it’s about if you can talk good” proclaims Milo on so the flies don’t come cut “A Song About a Raygunn (An Ode To Driver)”, and on who told you to think, it seems he’s begun talking really good. Milo’s lyricism on flies was poetic, but what he does here on the follow up is straight-up poetry. Less focus on hooks and beats (though those are also very good) and more focus on the words. He seems like the kind of person who obsesses over every syllable, and will never throw in a bar that doesn’t mean the world to him. Milo’s meticulous and abstract style makes diving into his lyrics an absolute blast. He’s a rapper for kids who are tired of hearing about bitches and hoes and want more Shakespeare references and terms that they have to look up in the regular dictionary rather than the urban one. High poetry over a beat. The essence of hip-hop.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mMOsl8qpfc

15. Richard Dawson - Peasant

I, and I’m am sure many others, would file this album in the same category as Joanna Newsom’s Ys. What category is that you ask? Lyrics and melodies that exude a sense of adventure, song structures that meander and drift like waves on the ocean, and stories that feel like mini epics. It doesn’t have a name, but it’s a damn exciting little nook of music that isn’t heard often, and Dawson nails it. Listening to this thing really does feel like a journey; one that’s constantly evolving and never ever boring. Dawson appears to have some sort of fascination with medieval storytelling and instrumentation. But don’t worry, this thing doesn’t sound like Renaissance Fair music. It has a great sense of modern experimentation and loose song structure that differentiates it from actual medieval music, and from pretty much anyone else making folk music right now. It’s an ambitious and wildly fun freak folk album that will draw you in with both its story and its charisma.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7iW5OEeCUw

14. Remo Drive - Greatest Hits

Aw man I miss being in a band in high school. We were one of the smart ones who weren’t under the illusion that “getting big” would be easy if we just really wanted it. We were just in it for fun. Remo Drive, a Minnesotan emo band, are some young whippersnappers who were in the same boat as me in high school, but through some good promotion (including a shoutout from a certain popular music nerd), the boys made it big. I’d be jealous if these guys didn’t completely deserve their success. Okay well, I’m still a little jealous. Regardless, Greatest Hits is a remarkably good debut, and one that has given emo kids around the country something new to latch onto and rightfully obsess over. Is it perfect? No. There are still kinks to work out. But I fucking love this thing and, considering this is their debut album, they can only get better and will hopefully one day become one of the emo greats. Just a prediction though. Maybe they’ll totally blow it. That would suck, but at least we’ll always have the awesome soaring hooks of Greatest Hits to re-listen to over and over and over. And over.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kaMiIaT-sg

13. SZA - Ctrl

Love in 2017 is a weird thing. Everyone's so sex positive (which is a great thing!) that more people are open to hookups or being friends with benefits. That's all good and fun, but it can potentially lead to a lot of hurt feelings and heartbreak if there is a lack of communication. Modern music likes to pretend this isn't the case and that we're all out there trying to find a soulmate, but SZA knows what's really going on. She's tired of being used, and she's not afraid to call out shitty behavior by the men in her life. As you could probably guess, this album is very sexual. In fact, “Doves In The Wind” features the word "pussy" exactly 27 times. But sex and relationships is topic that needs to be discussed in 2017, especially from the female perspective. Having a casual hookup can be awkward and being sexually adventurous sometimes leaves something to be desired; a deep connection with another human being. It's not easy, but it's something worth fighting for. SZA tackles all this with a unique flow and swagger, while still keeping herself vulnerable enough for the listeners to connect to her struggle, which is one the most relatable struggles for young people today: have fun and be casual, or try to find something serious? What Ctrl teaches us is that the answer will only come if you try both, inevitably fail, and then learn from your mistakes. Maybe make a great album about it while you’re at it.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMD63TwzB1o

12. Open Mike Eagle - Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

Your childhood home is more than just 4 walls with a floor and a ceiling. Your childhood home is your childhood. Every memory, good or bad, significant or minor, revolves around your home. Mike Eagle’s childhood home, the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago, was demolished several years ago. Using this symbolic destruction, Open Mike Eagle crafted a subtly ambitious and low-key concept album. He uses it is a jumping off point for insightful takes on life for poor minorities in big cities. He also takes time to reminisce on his memories of the projects, both good and bad. It's intimate, smart, and breezy. But most importantly, it's a meaningful exploration on what it really means to be at home.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQxXubLTIBw

11. Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up

Six years may feel like a long time to wait for an album, but the scope and ambition of Crack-Up justifies it. This is Fleet Foxes’ most dense and intricate album, and one that takes a few listens to fully digest, but also rewards multiple listens with it’s lush soundscapes that reveal a little more of themselves each time. People who, like me, felt that Helplessness Blues was near perfection may not completely vibe with this, but I think that if you truly sit down and give this album a chance, you’ll find a deep beauty to it that’s just as satisfying as anything the band has ever made. It really does feel like an album that would take six whole years to make.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GqgNebPm50

10. Brockhampton - SATURATION Trilogy

In a decade or so when I’m looking back at music through the years, I’ll think about 2017, and immediately go “Oh shit! That was the year of Saturation!” I can’t remember the last time I was as excited about a new force in hip hop as I am about Brockhampton. The three records they dropped this year were somehow all excellent in their own way. Every member shines in their own unique beautiful way, and the production choices are fresh and wonderfully off-kilter. The Saturation trilogy was an amazing feat that could have gone horribly wrong, but all the members and all the fans were extremely invested in making this work, and it did. And then some. The truth of the matter is, no one made an impact this year quite like Brockhampton.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_ZRRlVDVa8

9. Tyler, The Creator - Flower Boy

Growing up is really a decision you make and not a fact of life. There are always gonna be man-children who never decided to do something with their life. Flower Boy is the sound of Tyler, The Creator finally deciding to grow up and give listeners something that’s been lacking in his music: sincerity. For the first time, Tyler really lets his sensitive side show, and he created a project that peels back the layers on the wild persona he’s created. Turns out he can do a lot more than just shock value rap. He actually has a great ear for melody and production, and his lyrics have become much more nuanced and emotionally resonant. It seems crazy to say this about a Tyler, The Creator album, but Flower Boy is beautiful, and hopefully Tyler will continue to follow this musical direction for future projects. There’s always more room to blossom.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxlBOBOZHqI

8. Perfume Genius - No Shape

While 2014’s Too Bright was an exploration of Mike Hadreas’ beaming confidence trying its best to balance out his crippling insecurities and fears, No Shape is pure confidence with no room for fear and all the room in the world for love. The opener “Otherside” recalls the opening tracks of his previous albums with its hushed piano balladry. but a minute goes by and suddenly there is an explosion of sparkling synths that pulls you right into the majestic world of this album and lets you know this one isn’t like the ones that came before it. From then on it’s one excellently written and immaculately produced track after another on what may be Perfume Genius’s most endearingly weird and wonderful project to date. Mike’s heart was full of love when he made this album, and you can tell. The grace and care that was put into every song is clear, and it makes for a tremendously satisfying listen.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EVhFTw4igw

7. Julien Baker - Turn Out The Lights

The most astounding part about Turn Out The Lights is that, after you hear how heartbreaking and beautiful and fearless it is, you listen a little closer and realize how damn relatable it is. Baker makes epic songs about little things that secretly hurt a lot more than we wished they did. The things we’ve all felt and thought about on lonely nights. Like all great art, it’s not just about the artist, it’s about all of us. It’s about the pain of existing and trying to be a human. Julien’s words are the words we’ve all been wanting to say but have never quite know how to put it, and every line hits like punch to the gut. But through all the turmoil, Baker maintains a sense of hope. As she herself put so gracefully, “The existence of anxiety or depression does not negate my own capacity for joy, or my intelligence; when I can embrace those things, I can have power over them.” Through her music, she gives herself power over her illness and let's us know that, even if everything feels like it's breaking, there is still hope.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV1dMqeb4_U

6. The National - Sleep Well Beast

(Read my full review here) I think Sleep Well Beast might be my favorite National album. That’s right, even better than the near-unanimously agreed upon high mark Boxer. I came to this conclusion when I realized that for every great song Boxer has, Sleep Well Beast raises it one. Boxer’s melancholy opener “Fake Empire” is pretty, but “Nobody Else Will Be There” takes the emotion to whole new levels of devastation. You a fan of “Mistaken For Strangers”? I raise you “The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness”. Like “Brainy”? You’ll love “Day I Die”. It’s basically a better version of Boxer, but it still manages to sound entirely distinct. The main difference being that their songwriting has become more mature and subdued, which in turn made room for the emotions to really ruminate within the music. I mean, it’s been 10(!) years since Boxer hit shelves, and since then The National have really grown up. Everything has more nuance, more depth, and more maturity. Out of all their albums, it’s the one that hits the most consistently, and also hits the hardest.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O6duDDkhis

5. Father John Misty - Pure Comedy

Pure Comedy isn’t for everybody because it wasn’t made for everybody. Honestly, it wasn’t really made for anybody but Josh Tillman himself. He decided to take a step back from the personal squabbles he dealt with on the fantastic I Love You, Honeybear and takes aim at...well, everything really. No topic is safe from Tillman’s deadpan wit and hilariously cynical worldview. The music itself is merely a vessel for Tillman’s impressively coherent rants, which walk that fine line between genius and complete pretension, admittedly slipping into the latter category on some occasions. But even though it can seem like a little much, the scale and ambition of it all can not be undersold. Plus, considering the shitshow that 2017 was, I’d say it’s a perfect time for humanity to get a bit of a wake up call. We needed some crazy old man like Father John Misty to go up on rooftops and tells us that what we’re doing is fucked up. So fucked up, that it’s actually pretty hilarious when you think about it.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHpV08wI-bw

4. King Krule - The OOZ

It really does ooze. Every song, every word, every little moment seems to just pour out of you speakers like syrup. The OOZ is like a puzzle. It has so many moving parts that it takes many listens for it all to start sinking into place. The big picture it slowly reveals is pretty ugly. Krule’s worldview seems tragic, and he constantly feels alone and lost in this world. Nothing makes any sense to him, or the listener for that matter. Why is it called Biscuit Town? What’s a Dum Surfer? I still don’t have all the answers, but every time I listen I get a little closer to this album’s real main idea. I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, but the joy of listening comes from those little revelations, and from the amazement of knowing how much meaning and detail King Krule put into this wild, unflinchingly weird record. It doesn’t need to be fully understood to understand that it is absolutely brilliant.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5-f1Bnltu8

3. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.

What is a king to do now that he’s sitting comfortably on his throne? The answer: do what everyone else is trying to do to replace you, and do it way better than any of them. First, he releases “The Heart Part IV”, a track that dares anyone to fuck with him. Then a week later, he shuts down anyone who would ever try with “Humble”, a track that sees Kendrick being anything but. After the absolute shock of “Humble”, we got DAMN, an album very different from but in many aspects just as admirable as To Pimp a Butterfly or Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City. Kendrick manages to blow every other rapper completely out of the water with his brilliance and talent while still making it look easy. He breezily flows over some of 2017’s most unique instrumentals with bar after bar about life post-TPAB. Kendrick tries not to let his fans, his haters, his family, or Fox News get in his head. He reflects on his past, looks towards the future, and secures his spot as one of the all time greatest rappers to walk the earth. Damn is right.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glaG64Ao7sM

2. Lorde - Melodrama

If there is one musical lesson I’ve learned over the past 2 years, it’s that you should never underestimate pop music. Last year, Beyonce blew me away with Lemonade, and now in 2017, Lorde is the pop star who didn’t let her one hit wonder define her and ended up with an absolute stunner of an album. When pop music is done as well as it on Melodrama, it strikes a nerve with the listener, connects with them on a deep level, and unleashes their basic instincts: to dance, to cry, to laugh, to remember, to hope. This album makes me want to do all of those things, often all at the the same time. I listen to this album and I feel a real connection with Lorde as she too tries to make heads or tails of life as an adult. Does she ever make heads or tails of it? Of course not, but she’s not here to give answers, she’s here to give you an album that will help you through it, an incredibly powerful and mature album at that, and one that perfectly captures the feeling of being on the edge of adulthood in 2017. This early adulthood college era is a messy time in our lives where we try to pretend that we’re fine and that we totally get it, but at a certain point we just can’t keep pretending. It’s all wild parties, broken hearts, lost friends, and trying to just enjoy it all while we’re still young. It’s a confusing, scary and amazing time in our lives where our only focus is getting what we want. It’s all for fun. It’s all for show. It’s all just a bunch of fucking melodrama, and Lorde captured all of it perfectly. For college kids, Melodrama is a gem. A pop album that wasn’t manufactured by a company, but created by someone who really is just like us. Someone who actually gets it. In a time where millennial bashing seems to be the cool thing to do, I am very happy that this album exists to remind me that it’s okay to be young and a little reckless. I mean, if we’re not reckless now, when the hell else can we be?

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0DjcsK_-HY

1. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me

I really wanted to make Melodrama my number one this year. I mean, did you see what I wrote up here? That’s an album of the year write up if I’ve ever seen one. Alas, I had to give it to this album. It would be irresponsible not to. No album, hell, no piece of art that I am aware of has ever captured and expressed the experience of grief so intensely as this album. After the passing of his wife Genevieve, Phil Elvrum hid away in his home and eventually gave us this collection of 12 vignettes discussing the complete and utter emptiness he feels now that his greatest love has gone. Every single thing he does, every place he visits, every word he hears is a reminder of her death. It’s completely and utterly heartbreaking, so much so that listening to it feels almost disrespectful, like you’re eavesdropping in on someone’s very private life. Some call it exploitative, and I would be inclined to agree, yet the songs on here treat her with such deep, rich love and true respect. Even so It is a bit paradoxical. As he says in the beginning: “Death is real/someones there and then they’re not/and it’it’s not for singing about/it’s not for making into art” He dismisses the idea of turning the death of a loved one into art while doing just that. But can you really blame him? Phil just doesn’t know what to think about all this, but he knows how to make music, and that’s what he did. Was it to help with grieving? Was it for closure? Understanding? Was it to honor her memory? No one knows, and I don’t ever need to, because the fact still stands that this one of the most powerful pieces of art I have ever experienced. So yeah, it’s the best album of the year, and in fact one of the best ever made.

Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2R2Ck8qKWM

Well, thanks for reading everyone! Here’s to a great 2018!

Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/1241380934/playlist/03JmDr3dJSvNigvFAISnbh

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