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hoodharlow · 4 years

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Las Cuñadas

AN: everyone thank Cal's trainer for not posting him bc now I'm back on schedule. One of the characters introduced is dedicated to my bby @cherryxwildflower as thank you for always being down to hear me ramble about Cal and Claudia whether its a 3am or 2pm, ily. Another shout out to @karajaynetoday for sharing her Australian knowledge with me. And thank you to @d-oaks for always finding time to beta read and edit <3

Requested?: Yes by my girl @myloverboyash [AND BECAUSE IM GREEDY AF... “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” with Calum 👀🥺]

Warnings: smut, deadass wasn't gonna write it, pos ni modos

Word Count: 4.2k words

Calum checked his phone again. Claudia and Ashton were supposed to be back at her house an hour ago. The night before the tour bus dropped them off in LA, Ashton hitched a ride with Calum to San Diego because Claudia invited him to an outdoor yoga class in Chicano Park. The two had insisted Calum join them, but he stayed behind with Claudia’s brother, Danny.

“They were supposed to be back an hour ago,” Calum told Danny.

“They’re probably at Por Vida. Claudia never misses the chance to get an horchata latte,” Danny said; his eyes never left his phone. Then he lifted his head and looked at Calum for a few seconds. “Or she’s pestering Ashton for some details about your sister, so she doesn’t fuck up.”

“I told her thousands of times not to worry. My sister is going to love her,” Calum said.

Danny shrugged and got up from where he was sitting.

Calum watched Danny continue to text with one hand while he made a grilled cheese. He quietly placed one in front of Calum and leaned against the sink texting. He cursed to himself and placed his phone face down next to him.

“Okay, so I’m seeing someone and Claudia hates them?” Danny told Calum.

“Paco?” Calum asked, unsure who else Claudia hated.

“What?— No!” Danny said flustered. “This girl from high school. They were rivals in almost every aspect from what clubs they ran to soccer."

"Is she the one that tripped Claudia when the scouts were there?"

"It was an accident," Danny defended. Calum raised his hands in the air, not wanting to get into it. Danny dropped his shoulders. "Sorry, Claudia is just really you know Claudia. When someone crosses her, they're her enemy for life… except for Ashton. Anyways, I'm bringing her over for Thanksgiving dinner and since your sister is going to be here, she'll have to be nice to her. Right?"

Calum shrugged and bit into his sandwich. They ate in silence. At some point Danny placed a bowl of fruit and a glass of agua de jamaica in front of him. Calum saw how similar Danny and Claudia were. Sure she may look like their mom while he looks like their dad, but their actions spoke louder.

They both are very nurturing and protective of people they cared about. They see the best in people even when others don’t. It was amusing to watch them both act like they weren't similar when they were.

Danny excused himself to make a phone call, leaving Calum to catch up on the first few seasons of Holiday Baking Championship. Claudia got him hooked on all the Food Network Baking Censorship shows. At the start of tour they had binged the Halloween Baking Championship.

The front door opened. Claudia quickly came in followed by Ashton. She walked past Calum and called after Danny. He looked at her walk around long enough to notice she wasn't wearing panties under her leggings.

"I'm so glad Claudia doesn't hate me," Ashton said, taking a seat next to Calum. He sipped his iced coffee. Then he started playing with the sticker on the coffee cup. "We were at the coffee shop, and she bumped into this girl. They chatted a bit, but as we were driving back she went in. Something about how that girl ruined her chances of getting a full ride to UCLA only to get pregnant."

"She's pregnant!" Calum whisper-yelled. He turned to Claudia where she was talking to Danny in a hushed voice. She was gesturing to her stomach, motioning a pregnant belly. Danny's face paled as he listened to her. If Calum connected the dots properly, then thanksgiving was going to be messy.

***

Calum pulled up to Claudia's house after the show. Diego had originally driven Claudia to the show, but he ended up leaving early because he was going back to LA to film another episode of Guy's Grocery Games. Calum had been ecstatic to find out Diego was one of the judges. He even posted how much he was a fan of Diego to his Instagram stories. While he waited for their turn to go on stage with the Chainsmokers, Calum posted a series of pictures of him and Diego. He even managed to sneak one in with Claudia in the ten slides.

There were mixed comments. Some sent Claudia virtual glares because her and Calum looked like a couple in the picture. Some recognized her as one of the radio hosts from their LA show at the Meet You There Tour. Some were just happy for him to be meeting Diego. His favorite comment was from Guy Fieri, which earned him a follow back. He was one step closer to meeting him.

"He cropped me out," Claudia gasped. She showed him her phone. It was a picture of him, Diego and Claudia's arm.

"You think he'll follow me back now?" Calum asked before chuckling.

"Maybe, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Took him three years to follow me back, and I'm his daughter. You're just some guy who raws his daughter." Claudia leaned over and kissed his cheek. She tugged him closer to her kiss his lips. "We should go inside. I'm getting cold."

"Is that why your nipples are poking through your shirt?" Calum joked as he playfully tugged one of them.

"No, it was because you parallel parked." She smirked.

They made their way inside the house. Claudia checked in with her parents to let them know they're home and are gonna watch a movie down stairs. She went to her room and slipped into one of Calum's sweats and some fuzzy socks before going back down. Calum was coming out of the guest bathroom clad in Claudia's greatest weakness, grey sweats and his Sensations shirt.

Not even fifteen minutes into the movie and Claudia and Calum were devouring each other. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as Calum's hands ran over her thighs and ass.

They hadn't had the chance to enjoy each other. It had been almost a month since Claudia's birthday, the last time they saw each other. Even then Diego was with them, so they couldn't sneak off into a secluded hallway or Calum's car.

"Here let me save this shirt of yours." Calum told her when he pulled away. "We wouldn't want you to poke holes through it. Plus I wanna love on them.” He smirked as he pulled down her shirt, releasing her breasts. He ran his thumb on her sensitive nipples.

Claudia leaned back, giving him better access, and quietly moaned out as he gently nipped under her breasts. Both of his hands were on her nipples, twisting and rubbing them. His tongue traced the pert peaks.

She pulled his lips back to hers as she slowly grinded on his hardened cock. His hands went to her ass, letting her control their kiss as he guided her against him.

"Want you, Cal," she said against his lips.

"But I'm going to need you to be quiet… like not even a peep." Calum warned her. “Don’t wanna get caught like last time.”

"Pinky." She held out her pinky to him. He lazily wrapped his with hers before lifting her up just enough for him to pull down his sweats.

Claudia greedily got on her knees and got a quick taste. "You're coming in my mouth," she whispered to him as she slipped off their sweats.

She climbed onto his lap. She bit into his shoulder as Calum coated himself with her arousal before lowering her down his length. He pulled her arms around his shoulders. Then his hands controlled her hips at the pace he wanted her.

After a few minutes, Calum's hands wandered away from her hips. He lazily made figure eights on her with his middle finger while his other hand was toying with her breasts.

Claudia pushed herself against his chest and quickened the pace she rode him. She dug her nails into his biceps as her climax neared.

Then the front door slammed shut. Calum pushed her off him and pulled him sweats on while Claudia scrambled to get dressed. They both sat on opposite ends of the couch when Danny came by.

"What movie are you two watching?" He asked them. He turned on the lights and watched them carefully.

"Watching a movie." Claudia shrugged as she looked onto the movie. She had no idea what they were watching until she saw Harry Styles in the water.

"Guess I'll leave you to it." He said shutting off the light. "Oh and Calum, pick up your shirt. Don't think I don't know what you were doing. Mom and dad don't need more grandkids, Claudia."

***

Claudia checked the oven after letting the pavlova cool. She snapped off a little piece from the middle and went to the living room where her dad was watching Charlie Brown with his grandkids.

"Can you try it?" Claudia asked him.

"Claudia, ya te dije que esta bueno." He told her.

"Please." She said, extending the 'e' sound.

He took the piece and ate it. He nodded, instantly loving how it tasted.

Claudia clapped her hands and went back to the kitchen. She quickly whipped up some pomegranate curd from the leftover yolks.

Her family left her alone in the kitchen, so she could make all of the desserts ranging from sugar cookies to pavlova; she even made chocoflan for Calum. They knew she was nervous that Calum's sister was coming over. She knew how much Mali meant to Calum, so she needed to make a good impression.

On top of that Danny was bringing his girlfriend, which gave her a weird tug in her stomach because he always gave her vague responses when she asked about her. He didn't even tell her what her name was, so she couldn’t make her a name card.

"¿No te has cambiado?" Soni, Claudia's mom, asked her when she walked in. The older woman was dressed like she was going to mass with her sky high heels, soft cashmere sweater and silk pants. Claudia couldn't compare in her Long Beach State t-shirt and Calum's sweats.

"I'm almost done. I just need to make some more whipped cream. Hay nomás para los pies y ocupo para esto." Claudia said, shrugging her off.

"Vete a cambiar. I'll make it." Her mom shooed her out of the kitchen

Claudi rushed upstairs and struggled to choose what to wear. She sighed and went with a grey plaid overall dress and a long sleeve turtleneck under it. She undid her bun, letting loose her curls and clipped it with a ribbon hair tie. Lastly she did a simple makeup look. She slipped her phone in her pocket and made her way back downstairs.

"Tía, is the poopyhead coming?" Damian asked her when she came down.

"Yes, but can you not call him that? Just for today?"

"Cookie and we'll see," he said in a negotiation tone.

"I'm gonna tell your mom," she said, crossing her arms.

"Fine, but I want a cookie."

"Nomás una."

Claudia made sure no one saw her snatch a cookie from the dessert cart. She handed it to him and waited for him to eat it, so Paloma and Guito didn't see her and asked for one too. They went back to the living room and watched the Cantinflas marathon Telemundo did every Thanksgiving. She took a seat by the window, checking every so often for Calum. A few minutes passed and Claudia watched Calum's Range Rover pull up.

Claudia squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the doorbell. She felt like she was back at school on AP test day. The hollow ache in her stomach as it churned. She wasn't sure if she was going to throw up or pass out.

Junior gave her knee a gentle squeeze and went to open the door. She heard Calum's laugh followed by hushed voices.

Then she saw him. Dressed in all black as usual. He guided Mali to the living room and everyone greeted her. Damian immediately glued himself to her side and started making conversation with her. Lastly it was Claudia's turn to be introduced.

"And this is Claudia." Calum told Mali, gesturing to her.

"Hi." They both said at the same time.

Mali gave her the warmest smile and reached over to hug her. The ice had melted with that gesture, and they clicked. They dove right into conversation while Calum was talking to Diego and Junior. They were waiting for Danny and his girlfriend to show up.

Fifteen minutes passed, and the front door opened. There were hushed voices. Danny popped his head through the doorway and waved. "Hey, sorry we're late, traffic," he said. He pulled his girlfriend forward by the hand, revealing her to his family. "This is Medelyn."

Calum's eyes were on Claudia as hers were on Medelyn's belly. He couldn't read her face at all. He watched her hands ball up into fists before she stood up and left the room.

"I'm going to talk to Claudia," Danny announced after everyone greeted him and Medelyn.

"It was nice knowing you, carnal," Junior called to him as he left for the kitchen.

***

Claudia was on the floor eating carne asada fries and sipping on sparkling cider when Danny came in. He grabbed a fork and sat next to her. They ate for a bit, passing the bottle until Claudia worked up the courage. "I guess you finally made a move on your high school crush."

"You knew about that?" Danny asked.

"Everyone and their grandma knew, dude." Claudia snorted. She remembered how Paco would tease him about it. "And I saw y'all being all couply and shit at Eileen's 21st. Just didn't think much of it."

"Really? I thought you were too busy throwing drinks at Paulina to notice." He joked.

"It was one drink!" she said defensively. "Do you remember that one Halloween when she forced you to be Danny Phantom so she could be Paulina?"

"I try not to. Mede was there, and I had asked her out before hand only for Paulina to fuck it up."

They both laughed and continued eating. They caught up. Claudia learned that him and Medelyn have been dating for almost a year. They started talking when he ran into her the tattoo shop he worked at when she was with her sorority sisters. Things got serious between then as the months progressed. A few months ago they found out Medelyn was pregnant.

Part of Claudia felt bad. Her and Danny used to talk about everything, but ever since her and Paco broke up, they just stopped. They’d only occasionally check in on each other. It was around May when she worked up the courage to tell him about Calum. They spent hours talking about him. He even joked that it wouldn't have happened if he didn't hack her Facebook. The two of them looked up when they heard someone approaching the kitchen.

"He's not dead," Junior yelled into the hallway. He sat next to them and grabbed Claudia's fork. "Why do I always find you both eating carne asada fries and sharing sparkling cider?"

"Tradition." Claudia shrugged. She took a sip and passed it to him.

"Are you guys done with your heart to heart? Because Damian can only be cute-hungry for so long before he starts fighting."

"Yeah, we're good," Danny said. He got up and pulled Claudia up. He picked up the locket around her neck. "I thought you lost it."

"Cal gave it to me for my birthday," Claudia said. She tucked it in her dress.

"He's so whipped," Junior joked.

"Says the one that bends over backwards at whatever Marlene wants," Danny responded.

Claudia left them and went to the dining room. She grabbed the empty place card next to Danny and wrote Medelyn's name. She wandered back into the living room and called everyone to eat. Calum gave her hand a squeeze and went to his seat next to Mali only to get pushed by Damian because he wanted to sit next to her.

"Oi mate, that says Calum," Calum said, pointing to his place card.

Damian grabbed it and went to where his place card was and swapped them. "No it doesn't."

***

“Are they always like that?” Mali asked Claudia’s family, gesturing to the couple.

Calum and Claudia were against the kitchen island in their own little world. Calum was toying with the hem of her dress, smiling at Claudia while she deseeded some pomegranates. She made him open his mouth so she could explode some seeds in his mouth, giggling as he playfully tried to bite her.

“Yeah and they’re so predictable,” Danny said. He pointed at them. “Watch him whisper something into her ear, followed by Claudia getting all shy and tucking her hair behind her ears.”

“I doubt that’s—”

As Danny predicted, Calum got up and towered over Claudia. His hand was on her shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Claudia stepped back, clearly smitten at what he said and tucked her hair back, giving him a sheepish smile. She turned away and poured the pomegranate seeds in a large plate with mixed berries.

“I think that’s enough of that.” Diego grumbled, getting up to break up the lovers' gaze between Claudia and Calum.

“Déjalos, they haven’t seen each other in a month.” Soni said, placing her hand on his chest. She turned to everyone else. “Let’s go to the living room.”

“I’m just going to get a quick picture to show my mum how whipped her son is” Mali pulled out her phone. She snapped the picture and sent it to her mom. She laughed at her mom’s response and made her way back to the rest of the family.

***

Calum grabbed a bunch of pomegranate seeds and popped them in his mouth. He reached for some more only to get his hand smacked away.

"Stop, I need them." Claudia said sternly. She went over to the fridge, looking for the whipped cream her mom made. "Did I take out the whipped cream? I can't find it."

"Maybe lower?" Calum suggested to her. He dipped a finger in the whipped cream as he watched Claudia. He had a great view of her ass. Her dress bunched up enough that he got a peek of her black lace panties.

"I swear she made it. I heard the mixer when I was chang— I fucking swear if you're making me bend down to see my ass, I'm gonna eat your chocoflan."

"Oh, look I found it."

Claudia pulled her head out from the fridge and grabbed the bowl from him. Calum rested his elbows on the counter, placing his chin on his hands as he watched her decorate the pavlova. Her hands delicately sprinkled pomegranate seeds. Then she grabbed the pomegranate coulis and drizzled it over the pavlova in circular motion.

Calum pulled out and discreetly took a picture of her and made it his new lockscreen. He loved watching Claudia in her element. Her personality always showed in her baking. Fearless and precise.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Claudia asked, breaking him from the trance he was in. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. His arm instinctively went around her waist.

"I love watching bake and decorate." He shrugged. "Gives me a glimpse of how your mind works."

"Really?" She sounded surprised. She wasn't expecting to hear that from him.

"Yeah, you're very calculating and aren't afraid of trying new things. It's one of the things I love about you."

Claudia was taken back at his confession. Comments like those always seem to find a way to surprise her. Mostly because no one's ever told her things of that sort. People usually just give her surface level comments. Calum always found a way to be sincere and deep.

"You're sweet, Cal," Claudia said.

She leaned over and kissed him. Calum's hand held the back of her head and kissed her back. Her hand was on his cheek letting him deepen the kiss. There were no intentions to go any further. They just wanted to kiss each other.

Soft piano filled the house, making them pull away.

"Oh god, they made Mali play." Claudia sighed. She pulled away and placed the pavlova on the cart with the pies and cookies.

"You have a piano?" He asked. He got up and followed her out to the living room.

By the time they got there, Mali was finishing up her song. Damian was the first to clap. He leaned over and hugged her, sticking his tongue out to Felix.

Claudia furrowed her eyebrows at Felix. She could've sworn he said wasn't coming down for Thanksgiving. He greeted Calum with a hug, joking about Mali being the talented sibling before he reached her.

"I thought you weren't coming." Claudia exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.

"I wasn't, but since I'm moving to London over Christmas, I decided to come visit. Then my mom sent me over to bring your parents tamales," Felix said. He leaned and whispered. "Ya vi que llegaron todas las cuñadas."

"I know, there's so much to unpack with that," She whispered back. "Also London?"

***

The night wore on. Junior and his family left. Damian gave Mali extra hugs and made her promise to visit soon. Claudia's parents retired to their room while everyone stayed downstairs to watch Pan's Labyrinth. Mali and Felix were off to the side discussing London and all the good things there.

“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it. So I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” Calum blurted out to Claudia as he hid his face into her chest.

“There’s more to it than some monster with eyes on his hands," Danny piped up. "Memo explores good versus evil versus innocence. We have a kid being forced to do 'courageous' grown up shit, but it's even scary for most adults, stripping her from her innocence. Ofelia only wants to be the princess of the underworld, but she can't because of the shit she has to do. Saving her brother from Pan and the general, then impedes her from going back to the underworld and then she dies. Don't get me started on Aragorn because that's a whole different conversation. Basically Memo is saying that in a world torn by war, there is no room for innocence."

"My baby is gonna be so smart what the fuck," Medelyn cooed. She shifted and kissed him.

"Since when are you smart?" Claudia asked.

"Mensa, we were in the same Spanish class when we saw it." Danny scoffed at her.

"Yeah and?"

"What does that say about you, mensa?"

Claudia stayed quiet, unsure how to respond.

Danny smirked and rubbed Medelyn's belly. "Your tía is being stupid as always. Sorry you had to hear that, baby."

"Well, I'm gonna get going before the twins fight, and Danny makes Claudia cry." Felix announced. He went around hugging everyone. Calum eyed him as he and Mali talked in hushed voices. He gently squeezed her arm and left.

"What do you think they talked about?" Calum whispered to Claudia. She shrugged and sniffled. She turned away and Calum caught a glimpse of tears streaming down her cheeks. "You okay?"

She shrugged once more, and got up, wiping her tears.

"Ah, fuck." Danny mumbled. Whispering to Medelyn, he got up and went after Clauida. Seconds later Claudia's blubbering cries were heard followed by steps retreating up the stairs. Danny came back and sat with Medelyn. Calum was quick to get up, but Danny grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"She's gonna be okay." He told Calum, "Let her process. Today was a lot for her."

The movie finished and everyone settled into bed. It took a lot of convincing from Claudia for her parents to allow Calum to sleep with her, so that Mali could have the guest room to herself.

Calum emerged from her bathroom and climbed into bed. Claudia rolled over and hugged him. He rubbed her arm.

"You okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She sighed.

"I would be if I baked as much as you did." He said. He felt her smile against him.

"Did you like the pavlova?"

"Yeah, it was fucking good. It was nice to see something from my culture and stuff. To be honest, I was surprised to see American food."

"Thanksgiving is the only time we eat like white people. My mom goes all out with the turkey and green bean casserole."

The loud knock on her door followed by a struggle with the door knob startled them.

"You locked the door?" Claudia whisper-yelled to him, climbing off the bed to open it.

"¿Qué dije? Que la puerta sin seguro y a dormir. No que le pusieras seguro a la puerta y que estén platicando," Diego scolded her.

"I know, I'm sorry. We're going to sleep right now," Claudia mumbled.

Diego peeked into her room and held up two fingers at Calum. "Strike two."

"What was the first one?" Calum asked, confused.

"That little bathroom break you both had when we were in the living room. I already have one grandkid on the way. I don't need more."

"And you won't; we use many forms of protection." Calum smiled innocently.

"That's three."

#calum hood #el novio series #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood one shot #calum hood smut #cscslum hood series

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heartbreakgrill · 4 years

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That Smile; Luke Hemmings, Pt. 4

description: in which songwriting is over, but there’s still lyrics left to be written.

a/n: FINISHED SERIES

You glared at the wall across from you, fist clenched in your lap, teeth grinding together. The bass bounced from wall to wall in the studio, in tune with your fast-beating heart. You resisted the urge to scream, to curse the world, to quit your job and move to western France with all ties cut to anyone you ever knew.

Especially him. His stupid face was grinning at the carpet, skinny jeaned legs crossed over one another boot clad foot bouncing in the air. His hair was ruffled, messy from running his hands through it time and again, pushed behind his ears by a pen on his left side. Those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes were trained on the floor, too, almost nervous to meet anyone’s eyes.

They wrote a song without you- well, Luke wrote it, he even composed all of the instruments. Then, while you were working with another client for a grudging week, they recorded it. Now, they were playing it for you with proud shoulders, like, “Look! We can do it without you!”

This was your last week together. After a little over six months of bonding, partying, drinking, falling, and, yes, songwriting, it was coming to an end. You had never grown so close to a set of clients before, and you were terrified at how much it was going to hurt, saying goodbye. You hadn’t spoken to Luke since the week prior to your absence. You texted in the group chat about a few ideas, spoke to Calum both on the phone and in real life, and had even gone on a double date with Michael, Crystal, and a god-awful redhead. Ashtons girlfriend had taken friendly to you after a few mores parties, so youd even seen her for lunch and shopping with Crystal a few times.

But, he just wouldn’t speak to you.

You didn’t know why. You racked your brain for reasons and answers, afraid to even ask the questions. He averted his gaze when you looked his way, shrugged off your compliments on his outfit or lyrics, hadnt even liked your latest Instagram post. You were craving for his attention, pushing up at the universe which was destroying your year.

Two heartbreaks, and it had only been six fucking months.

Calum, who was sitting next to you- of course- tapped his fingers against your wrist to get your attention. You looked away from Luke, who looked back at you. He was disappointed to see you staring at Calum, a small smile lifting the corner of your lips. You murmured something, Calum smiled, and you looked back to Luke.

He went to look away, but simply couldn’t. He was avoiding your pretty face because he wanted to get detached before he had to say goodbye entirely. He knew you guys could hang out, and you were planning to come to Ash’s next weekend, but it wouldn’t be like it had been weeks before he got your confession. Plus, he was going home to Australia for a month or two, before the album was released, tour started, so his heart could mend.

He loved you, and you loved somebody else.

“So?” Ashton spun around in the studio’s chair, cheeks pudgy with a smile, “What do you think?”

You looked away from Luke, “Oh, it was really good. Really...good. What’re you gonna call it?”

Luke felt brave energy on the tip of his tongue. “Why wont you love you,” he said, directly into your gaze.

You furrowed your brows, your head tilting involuntarily. “Wh-“

“Yeah, we think were done now. That was the last song were gonna have on the record.” Michael interrupted without even meaning to.

“So today is your last day?” Your breath hitched, eyes already bleary with goodbyes.

Calum slung an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, “Yeah. It is.”

You leaned into him without even meaning to, but Luke noticed. His bravery turned to venom, dripping off his frowning lips when he stood, headed for the door, and said, “Better get to confessing, Y/N.”

You stared at his empty seat, cheeks pink with embarrassment and sadness. Calum’s eyes screwed up with confusion, “What?”

Ashton and Michael looked towards you as you bent at the waist, cradled your torso. Calum got a better hold on you, hugging you as you began to cry. Ashton joined him on the other side, sitting on the arm of the couch. He rubbed your back, pushing hair out of your face.

Michael spoke, “What does he mean by confessing?”

“God,” you wiped at your cheeks, “God, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Ashton inquired.

You sat up a little bit because your chest hurt so badly, “I lied to Luke and told him I was in love with Calum because I love Luke and I didn’t want to make things weird. It was after my boyfriend broke up with me, so I was scared, and tired and my heart hurt so bad. And now Ill never see him again because he’s going back to Australia. And he didn’t even tell me that! He told Calum! Calum told me, and I feel stupid.”

Calum chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Michael, “Y/N, you dont have to apologize for defending yourself. You deserve the right to.”

“Yeah, its just human nature. Plus, I’m not sure it would make things weird,” Michael pursed his lips with quirked brows.

You looked up, “What?”

“Y/N, are you still scared?” Ashton playfully pinched your arm, smiling down at you when your eyes flickered to his.

“Tired?” Calum squeezed you in his arm.

“N-no, I’m just sad,” you admitted and pushed your hair back behind your ears.

Calum helped pull you from the couch, Michael gathered your things into your bag, and Ashton handed you Luke’s abandoned hoodie. Calum spoke as it happened, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to freak you out or scare you, but his plane leaves in six hours. Ill send you his address-“

“I did you one better; Its in your Google maps,” Michael grinned like a child when your head popped out of Luke’s sweater, which Calum had pulled over your head.

You looked to Calum, confused, “Its raining, dont want you to be cold.”

“Get to his place, Y/N, drive safely, but drive quickly. Get there and tell him before its too late,” Ashton hugged you tightly.

Michael did, too, and, finally, Calum squeezed you in his arms. “Go, on, then.”

You hesitantly stepped towards the door, a small smile meeting your eyes, “Yeah?”

They nodded before you turned on your heel, taking off like a bat out of hell.

As you drove, it all began to make sense. The song he wrote, the way he looked you in the eyes and told you what it was called. The way he held you after you got sick, the way he looked at you when you were with Calum. The longing in his eyes when he saw you leaving the studio, at parties when you were dancing. He’d dance with a few times, but when youd get too close, he would linger away, deflated, defeated, and alone.

The way he smiled at you.

When you arrived, the rain slowed to a drizzle. Your name was still on the guards checklist, and he pointed you towards Luke’s house with ease. You quickly texted Calum you were there before turning off the car and abandoning your phone on the passenger seat. You jogged to his front door, stopped with your fisted hand against it.

Your eyes shut, rain falling from your eyelashes and hairline like tears. With three rasps on the door with your knuckles, you stepped back. The door hesitantly opened- he must have seen you in the peep hole. His eyes racked your body, almost smiling when he saw his damp hoodie clinging to your frame, before he met your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m sorr-“

“No, okay?” You stopped him with your hands and voice, “Just, no. Don’t speak, just let me get this out, okay? Luke, I am sorry for lying to you. I dont love Calum, unless you count as a friend. He is an amazing guy, but, Luke, he’s not you.”

Lukes eyes widened, their familiar blue color shining down at you.

“I have denied my feelings for so long because I am so afraid of you. You are tall, and so sweet, and insanely talented. And you look like fucking Aphrodite. You’ve been with so many pretty girls, so many talented, pretty girls who just- I dont look like them. Plus, I was scared because I was broken up with and, even though I’d lost feelings, it just hurts knowing someone doesnt want you anymore. I-I, dont know, I think I was just holding myself back because. There’s no reason, just because. I know I’m not a size 0 and I know I’m crazy loud and I get drunk sometimes and I can be kinda annoying, but, Luke, I never want you to sing Why Won’t You Love Me? and think of me. I want you to sing Valentine and Better Man and just think of me.”

Luke stepped forward, enveloped your hips in his hands. You pressed yourself against his chest before he responded, “Those size 0 girls just aren’t you, either, Y/N. They’re not loud or crazy or, yeah, even annoying. They dont make my heart leap when they sing or my fucking head spin when they laugh or look at me. You make me smile so much more than they could. Fuck fear, Y/N, just let go and give into it. There’s nothing to be worried about because I will be there to catch you, okay? I cant just think about when singing those songs, though. Y/N, you are in my head all damn day, it’s fucking grueling because I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss you all the damn time.”

“Then do it.”

When he pulled away from you, eyes screwed shut in overwhelming joy and satisfaction, that damn smile was grazing his lips. You kissed it off of him, clutching at his shoulders before your hands moved around to the buttons on his shirt.

“Gonna invite me in?” You whispered against his lips, squealing when he lifted you in the air and pulled you inside.

TAG LIST: @oopsiedoopsie23 @pixiiiiee @kingxnichole

#luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings imagine #5sos blurb #luke hemmings blurb #5sos x reader #5sos x you #5sos imgaines

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calumance · 4 years

Note

hi!! i was wondering if maybe you could do an ashton or calum x reader imagine based on the song “heather” by conan gray? but maybe have it end happy instead? totally up to you, just an idea i had and i know i couldn’t execute it myself. thanks so much!!

That was the first time I had ever heard that song, so hopefully this is kind of what you had I mind???? However, I love me a good song fic, so please enojoy!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕💕💕💕

It was absolutely freezing outside, and she had forgotten her jacket at home. This is the exact weather you’d expect for it being the third of December, but she woke up so late that grabbing jacket was the absolute last thing on her mind. When she stepped through the doors of the school, she started to rub her arms up and down, trying to create any type of friction possible to get some warmth into her bones. Off to the side, she heard her name get called. When she looked up, she saw Calum making his way towards her. He was waving frantically, and the smile that say on his lips could warm the entire Earth. “You woke up late again, didn’t you?” He asked with a laugh as he finally approached her.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, and I’m stupid and ran out of the house without my jacket and it’s absolutely freezing outside.” Her teeth chattered as the heat inside the building slowly started to warm her from the outside in.

“Here,” He said as he started to unzip his sweater, “Take my sweater.” He smiled and pulled his arms out of the sleeves. He shook it slightly and tossed it over her shoulders. As she pushed her arms through, he smiled. “It looks better on you than it does on me.” The corner of his mouth twitched upward. She tried to smile back, but the only thing in her mind was how much she would rather be pressed up against him. The warmth of his body transferring to hers would be the only way to warm her chilled bones. If only he knew how much she liked him.

His eyes flickered up and over her head as something more appealing caught his eyes. Heather, the head of the cheerleading squad, walked by. A smirk directed towards Calum sitting pretty on her perfectly plump lips. The second they met eyes, it’s like she didn’t even exist. Calum walked away, meeting up with Heather to walk side by side with her. They were only friends, they had been friends since elementary school. At this point, it would be weird for them to be anything more than that, but still, she couldn’t help her feelings.

It was almost six months ago when he kissed her. Maybe it was by accident, or maybe it wasn’t, all she knew was that there was something there. But seeing the way he was mesmerized by her blue eyes, there was no way he felt the same thing. She shifted the sweater he had just given her and started to make her way to class. If he was so enticed by her, why would he kiss her? She was half as pretty as Heather, and she wore his polyester hoodie every single day to school. Maybe he just liked her better, she wished she were Heather.

By lunch time, the sun had started to come out, and everything had started to warm up just slightly. She wanted to give Calum his sweater back, realizing she had one in her locker for days that she forgot her own sweater. When she entered the lunch room, they were standing in line for their food, Calum’s right hand interlaced with her right hand, while his left hand was thrown over her shoulders, holding her as close as he could. She tucked Calum’s sweater in her arms as she looked at Heather. She was perfect in every way, nearly an angel. There was just something in the back of her mind wishing that Heather were dead.

Calum catches her eyes and she immediately ducks out of sight and hides from sight. Calum and Heather walk by, he’s such a sight for sore eyes. His smile shining brighter than any bright blue sky she had ever seen. However, the way he looked at Heather, she just knew she had him mesmerized. Her chest tightened and she felt like she were dying, as if she were having a heart attack. Was it even possible to have a heart attack at this young? She darted out of the lunch room and quickly made her way home, not wanting to finish out the rest of the day.

“Why would he kiss me if he’s so enthralled by her?” She asked her best friend while they talked on the phone. “Why would he kiss me at all? I’m half as pretty as she is, and she’s literally everything he’s ever asked for.” She sighed and ran her fingers across her brow ridge. “Maybe I should just get over it, even if Heather were out of the picture, it would still be weird for us to be anything more than friends.” Her best friend babbled some words, words that really didn’t make her feel any better, but it was nice to know someone was there to listen.

There was a knock on your front door, so you bid your best friend goodbye and made your way to the door. You stood on your toes to peak out the peep hole and pushed yourself away from it when you saw Calum standing on the other side. He was holding his green ‘empathy’ hoodie in his hands, and he was looking at his feet. The last time she saw that hoodie, Heather was wearing it around school. Her heart was pounding so fast, she could feel it in her ears. After taking a few breaths, she opened the door, not saying a single word, only waiting for Calum to say something.

A smirk pulled at his lips, “Hi,” was all he said. She raised her eyebrows in response and he swallowed hard. He looked down at the hoodie in his hands and turned it a few times. “I saw you at lunch, but then I didn’t see you again after that. I wasn’t sure where you went, so that’s why I came here.” He looked up from his hands and sighed.

She looked down at the hoodie in his hands and the pointed to it. “What’s that?” She asked point blank.

Calum raised his eyebrows while looking down at the green fabric. “Thought I should let the person who actually deserve to wear it, have it.” He looked up and pushed the hoodie towards her.

As badly as she wanted to take it from him, she couldn’t. Instead, all of the emotions she’s felt over the past six months finally boiled over. “Why did you kiss me?” She swallowed and stared daggers at him. “Why would you kiss me knowing that I’m half as pretty as she is, and you’re way more into her than you will ever be with me?” The tears formed at the edge of her eyes.

Calum’s eyebrows stitched together and he shook his head. “You’re a hundred times more beautiful than she will ever be. I kissed you because I like you, I just was confused, but now I’m not. Seeing you today, I just knew. Please,” He pleaded, taking a step towards her. “Please let me kiss you again.” His eyes were pleading as he balled the fabric between his hands.

She looked between his hands and his eyes. She nodded, allowing him to kiss her again. He stepped forward, taking one hand off the hoodie to place it on her cheek. His lips met hers and the whole world lit up with fireworks, and lightning, and electric shocks. Before she had wished she were Heather, but now, she knew Heather wished she were her.

************

Tag list: @mantlereid @notinthesameguey @viiirg0 @wheniminouterspace @thinkofmehlgh @another-lonely-heart @limer-encia @itsmytimetoodream @babyoria

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detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox · 4 years

Note

29 for mazlek cause it sounds like such a hoe thing to say

This took longer than planned, probably because it’s longer than planned. Ive put it under a read more. I hope you like it anon.

If anyone is triggered by illness, Joe is unwell in this - not seriously though. But there is talk of vomiting so avoid it if that's triggering for you.

29. What do you mean you’re sick, you’re supposed to be my partner in crime.

Joe’s phone buzzed continuously on his bedside locker, the sound puncturing his temples like a drill.

His stomach rolled as he moved to lie on his side and attempted to reach his phone; memories of last night spent with his head in the toilet flooding back and causing him to flee from his bed for what felt like the millionth time in the last twelve hours.

As he re-emerged from his bathroom; making a mental note to buy more cleaning products, he heard keys rattling in his front door.

“Joe!” His best friends voice made his head hurt, even from downstairs.

Walking as slowly as possible so not to jostle his stomach, he peeped round his door and croaked “Up here.”

His voice was shot after last night, throat burning from throwing up so much.

“Rami” God he sounded pathetic,

“Can you bring me water.......please?”

“You okay?” Rami shouted; Joe heard the water run as he made his way back to bed before he keeled over. Closing his eyes he could distantly hear Rami moving around downstairs.

“Joe?” He peeped open one eye and saw Rami standing over him; beautifully dressed as always, concern etching his face.

“You look awful Joey.” He handed him the water. Joe sat up gingerly and took a few sips; immediately regretting it as his stomach cramped up.

“Sorry......I........” he dashed into the bathroom again, pushing past Rami on the way.

“You alright?........want me to come in?” Rami hovered by the bathroom door.

“No.....god no” Joe managed to get out. There was no way he wanted Rami of all people watching him throw up.

While Joe hugged the toilet, Rami eyed his sheets suspiciously; he could tell Joe had slept fitfully. The duvet was twisted and the bottom sheet had come off the corner of the mattress. By the time Joe emerged from the bathroom, Rami had fresh, clean sheets on his bed and had put the others in a pile by the door. He’d put them in the wash later.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Joe mumbled weakly, as he slipped between the fresh, cool sheets; sighing as he closed his eyes.

Rami’s hand pressed gently against his forehead, “You’re not burning up......do you think it’s something you ate?” He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling at a loose thread on Joe’s grey duvet.

“Dunno.......too sick to go today though.... I’m sorry.” Joe’s hand flapped around looking to squeeze Rami’s in his own.

“You can’t be sick. You’re my partner in crime. What would Snafu have to say about this?” Rami smiled, grabbing his hand and squeezing softly.

“Probably the same thing you just said” Joe replied weakly, he attempted a smile; which quickly turned into a grimace as his stomach cramped up again.

“I’m gonna call Jas and go get you some medicine.....be right back.” Rami’s patted his hand as Joe drifted off to sleep again.

Rami picked up the sheets by the door and headed downstairs.

He pushed his disappointment at Joe being ill aside as he put the washing machine on.

The reunion for The Pacific cast was an annual event and this year was the first time Rami and Joe could actually attend together, their busy schedules meaning only one or other of them had been able to show up previously. Rami walked past Joe’s navy suit, hanging up on a hook in the hall. He would have looked damn good in that, Rami thought as he made his way outside.

“Joe?” Rami squeezed Joe’s shoulder, attempting to rouse him, “I have some stuff you need to drink......don’t want you dehydrating.”

“Mmmmmmm” Joe rolled over, blinking blearily at Rami’s face.

“You need to go...you ll be late....”

“I think I should stay.....I’m worried about you.” Rami pushed Joe’s hair back from his forehead.

“I’m gross Rami.......you probably don’t wanna touch me.......and you’re going.....they’re expecting you.” Joe managed to push himself into a sitting position, sighing heavily at the effort.

“But what if you get worse?” Rami asked; hands on his hips.

“I ll call you....it’s only..what? A ten minute cab drive away?”

“What if you collapse or something?”

Joe took a tentative sip of his mug of rehydration salts, grimacing at the taste, “Then you’ll find me when you get back.”

“Joe that’s not funny.”

“Rami, I’m gonna be sleeping......please go have lunch and just give my apologies okay. I ll be fine.”

Rami huffed “Promise you won’t try and go downstairs or anything?”

“I promise......and thank you....for this ...........delicious concoction.” Joe lifted his mug in gratitude, wrinkling his nose.

“Right well if you’re sure?”

“I am”

Joe watched as Rami fussed with his blankets, making sure his phone and bottle of water was nearby, adding the tv remote control and a large bowl that that he pulled out from beside the bed.

“Just in case” he said as he placed it beside Joe on the duvet.

Joe felt a warm, comforting feeling spread over his chest, the crampy, sick feeling in his stomach eased somewhat by the butterflies now erupting in there. This had been happening a lot recently, Joe choosing to ignore it; but today that seemed a lot harder to do.

A few drinks in and talk turned to relationships; most of the guys were happily married, Rami being one of the only ones yet to settle down.

He checked his phone again as Martin rambled on about some house he was renovating; he couldn’t stop worrying about Joe and it seemed some of the others had noticed his detachment from the conversation.

“Rami” Ashton patted his arm, “You ok?”

Putting down his phone, Rami sighed and leant back in his chair, taking a long pull of his beer.

“Yeah......I’m worried about Joe....”

“He’s a big boy...I’m sure he’s fine.”

“You didn’t see him.....he’s really sick. Maybe I should go?” He raised his eyebrows at Ashton, “Do you think I should?”

Ashton smiled as Brendan rolled his eyes next to him.

“Jesus Christ” he drawled and Rami was whisked back to Australia and Bill Leyden saying the same thing to Snafu’s new nickname for Sledge.

“What?” Rami felt all eyes on him as the table quietened.

“You have some patience man” Brendan continued “12 years is it? Go get your man and quit sitting here worrying about him.”

“What?” Rami said again. He knew he was flushed red and he also knew that what Brendan has said was true.

He pushed back from the table and headed to the bar.

“He’s right y’know.” Martin joined him at the bar, Rami’s second whiskey doing little to calm his nerves. How in fuck did everyone know? Did Joe? Fuck.

“Yeah well it’s not that simple is it? He’s my best friend.” Rami stared at the brown liquid in his tumblr “I can’t risk ruining it.”

“So you happy to carry on pretending? Think of what you might have if you take that risk. Joe’s not an asshole.......he‘ll .....he’ll be good to you no matter what.” Martin clapped him on the back and headed to the bathroom.

He was right. Rami could have everything he’d ever wanted if he was just willing to risk everything he currently had. Knocking back his whiskey he cursed himself for coming and the boys confusing the hell out of him. He wished Joe was here.

“Rami!” Ashton shouted from their table near the bar, “Your phones ringing!”

“It’s lover boy!” Brendan yelled and Rami’s stomach plummeted. Joe said he’d only call him if he felt worse, he needed to leave.

Snatching his phone from Ashton he turned away from the table as he answered;

“Joey” the pet name slipping from his mouth unconsciously. He could hear Brendan snorting behind him and Martin and Ashton telling him to shut up.

“What’s......what’s wrong? Are you ok? I can come back now...”

“Rami.....stop” Joe sounded exhausted, “I just woke up and I have a weird rash on my chest.”

Rami’s felt sick. A range of horrendous ailments entering his head at Joe’s words.

“Is your neck sore?”

“What? No..... why?”

“Meningitis” Rami rambled on “I’m gonna call Jas. Please don’t get up Joey....please.....just wait.”

“Okay” Joe whispered, slightly concerned himself over the level of Rami’s worry.

Rami sat down heavily into his chair. The boys eyes all immediately focused on his pale face.

It was Brendan that unsurprisingly broke the silence, but speaking softly and somewhat uncharacteristically.

“Is he ok?”

Rami’s phone pinged on the table top, as a message came through. Joe had sent a picture of the rash on his chest - Send this to Jas. Might help. X

Ashton’s brow furrowed at the picture.

“Go see if he’s ok please.....I’m worried now.”

Rami nodded “Please can we do this again.... before next year?”

They all nodded, murmuring agreements and adding “with Joe as well.”

“Im gonna head off then…..Joe....he....yeah.” Rami trailed off.

Martin grabbed his wrist from across the table

“Tell him Rami.”

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Oh I honestly don’t think that will be a problem” smiled Ashton.

Rami crept quietly up the staircase, not wanting to wake Joe from much needed sleep. His bedroom door was open and Rami could see Joe bundled under his duvet through the now dim light of the evening.

Jas has said he needed to be cooled down to get rid of the heat rash, so Rami tiptoed quietly to the bathroom; leaving another cup of rehydration salts on Joe’s bedside locker.

After wetting a washcloth with cool water, and wringing it out, Rami padded over to Joe kneeling down next to the bed and peeling back the covers.

Rami’s stomach flipped at the sight of Joe sleeping, soft and peaceful. When had this started? When had things changed? Rami wracked his memory. Could you fall in love with someone over the space of 12 years and not realise? He stared at Joe’s sleeping face; he was so handsome, and Rami was taken aback by just how attracted to him he was. Rami smiled to himself, maybe he should take a chance? Joe was everything to him, and Rami was now realising he wanted him to be even more.

“Stop staring at me” Joe’s croaky voice startled Rami into action.

“Sorry.....I.....Jas said you need to cool down...you have a rash cos you’re sweaty. Here.” Rami showed him the folded wash cloth and Joe turned onto his back.

Joe shivered as Rami pulled down the duvet off Joe’s heated chest and placed the washcloth on his forehead.

“Okay?.......there’s more salts for you to take there...” Rami pointed to the bedside locker.

“Oooh yum...” Joe said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and grinning at Rami.

“How you feeling?”

“Groggy....but my stomach isn’t crampy now....so hopefully I can actually sleep tonight.” Joe peered at Rami from under the washcloth.

“Will you stay?........I hate to ask.....but....but..”

“Joe......you don’t have to ask....of course I will....”

“Thank you.....oh! how was lunch?”

Rami sat up against the headboard in Joe’s huge bed and filled him in on all the news from their cast mates, answering Joe’s questions but leaving out one very specific conversation.

“They all send their love....hope you feel better soon.”

“Ashton text me actually....” Joe turned on his side “Said you left early.”

Rami couldn’t look at Joe, he felt his pulse race as he stared out the window at the darkening sky.

“Rami......” Joe’s hand found his and he squeezed gently.

“You’ve always been so good to me...........too good to me......I.......I......thank you.” Joe sat up. He grimaced as his head pounded at the change of position, but crossed his legs and sat facing Rami.

“Joe.....lie down...”

“Why did you come back early?”

Rami searched Joe’s face for any sign that he was messing around. He knew Joe well enough by now to recognise a lift on one side of his mouth that always gave him away. It wasn’t there, his face was soft, open, and as gorgeous as Rami has ever seen it; even with his sickly pallor and bed head.

“I think you know why” Rami murmured.

“I think I know too......but I’ve been really wrong about things like this in the past so......”

Rami winced, Joe had never had much luck dating. Rami had always been there to pick up the pieces with him.

“Joe” Rami wanted, he wanted so badly to pull Joe into his lap.

“You have no idea how much I wanna kiss you right now.”

Joe grinned, his whole face lighting up as Rami ran his hand up his arm; leaving goosebumps in his wake.

“Give me 12 hours and I’m all yours” he murmured as he pulled Rami into a hug.

“Thank you for today......but.....can you sleep in the spare room because I honestly don’t think I’d be able to keep my hands off you if you’re......in here......”

Joe pulled reluctantly away from Rami’s arms, realisation dawning on what he’d just said.

“Uuuh I mean.....I don’t wanna make you sick” he stared at the sheets below him, flexing his long toes.

Joe woke early the next morning , the rain pounding against his window. Stretching, he assessed himself for any stomach or headache and found that he felt much better, not one hundred percent. But better.

Running his hands over his face as he yawned, he sat bolt upright in bed as he remembered who was currently in his spare room and the conversation they’d had. His body moved without him thinking as he headed to the shower and to brush his teeth.

As the hot water pounded against his back, he let himself imagine what might possibly happen today. He’d always loved Rami; but had made himself believe they were just really close friends. He never really thought Rami felt the same though, and Joe wasn’t gonna jeopardise their incredible friendship by telling Rami how he felt.

Turns out most of their cast mates on The Pacific could see it a mile away. They were both idiots really; all the heartache they could have saved each other. Although Joe laughed to himself as he remembered that anytime either of them had split with someone, they’d immediately gone to each other for comfort.

It had been obvious to everyone, except them.

Joe knocked quietly on the door to the spare room; it was early and Rami liked to lie in at the weekend, but when Joe pushed open the door he found Rami standing at the window in his boxers. His mouth immediately went dry.

“Uuuuhhmmmm morning...” Joe croaked.

Rami grinned. “You feeling better?” He asked as Joe moved into the room. His bare toes dug into the soft grey carpet, as his heart beat erratically in his chest.

“Yeah....I am....”

“Thank God” Rami interrupted him as he made his way over to Joe and took his hands in his own.

“I’ve waited twelve years to do this......I can’t wait any longer.”

“Rami...” Joe whispered as their lips met and they finally fell into each other.

“Breakfast?…..you feel like you could eat something?” Rami couldn’t stop touching Joe; any part of his body, it was like he’d been starved of it. His fingers were currently skimming the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants where they hung low on his hips.

Joe’s head was pillowed on Rami’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“I could eat you?” Joe smiled into Rami’s bare chest, breathing in his scent and nibbling at his nipple.

“Hey!” Rami pushed him away, then pulled his face to his, both hands on his cheeks.

“I want .........god I want you so bad” he pushed his hardening cock against Joe’s thigh, shivering at Joe’s answering moan.

“But when you have your strength back......Jas said....”

“Wait....you asked your sister when we could have sex?” Joe began to laugh “Oh my god......”

“No! Joe c’mon.....you know what I mean......” Rami pushed his erection against Joe again,

whispering in his ear “Just think about how good it will be.....”

Joe flopped onto his back groaning, “I’m gonna need another shower” he added as he pressed down on the bulge in his sweatpants.

Joe didn’t ever think he’d been this sexually frustrated in his life. He’d had a semi all day, Rami only had to look at him and he wanted to bend him over the back of the couch. It was like his cock had now been given permission to react to Rami. They’d spent all their spare time together the last few years, and he’d never had this problem. His cock was like a dog being finally let off a leash.

Rami sat in his boxers and a t-shirt, Joe’s head in his lap as they watched a cooking show. Joe was snoring softly, his warm breath tickling Rami’s thighs. He ran his fingers through Joe’s soft hair, smiling at what today had brought.

Pulling out his phone he snapped a pic of his hand resting in Joe’s hair as he slept soundly on his lap.

He sent it to Joe’s phone with the caption:

“I’ve always loved you.”

#mazlek #joe mazzello #rami malek #fic prompt #sick fic #anon

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lucidtobio · 4 years

Text

fluffy dreams x

ashton irwin x fem!oc fluff

warnings: literally none other than bad writing

[word count: 1.9k]

this is legit based off a dream i had last night, but i added a bunch of stuff so it makes sense lmaooo.. pls don’t bully me this is my first time writing :)

(also, this is during the youngblood era, so like 2018-ish)

I was sitting in a crowd surrounding a circular table. Seated at the table were the four members of 5 Seconds of Summer; Michael, Luke, Calum, and Ashton. They were doing an interview where fans could come watch live. The interviewer was seated on a tall chair in the middle of the crowd. Everyone was listening eagerly to their responses.

"Okay, so now we're going to give the audience a chance to speak with the band! Does that sound good to you guys?" The interviewer exclaimed before pointing to 5SOS. They did a little cheer and clapped their hands.

"What about y'all?!" She gestured to us. Everybody screamed, desperate to finally meet our idols. The interviewer looked worried for a second. Honestly, I would be too if I was in the middle of a bunch of crazy fangirls.

"So we're going to have the guys pick the first person that gets to talk to them. Michael, do you want to pick first?" The interviewer put him on the spot. I felt slightly guilty for him, all of that pressure must be stressful.

Michael looked at his bandmates for help, but they just shrugged at him. "Go on, Mikey. Pick someone," Calum teased, leaning forward on his knees. "Fuck you," Michael mumbled under his breath, barely audible.

The guitarist craned his neck to search the crowd, and everybody in the audience held their breath. I was watching his calculated eyes as they landed on me. "You. The one with the white top and plaid pants," Michael called out. I looked down at my outfit and around at the people around me. Nobody else was wearing that... I don't think. I was about to ask if he meant me when the girl next to me nudged my arm. "He's talking to you! Go up there!" She whispered.

I stood up and made my way to their table. I tried to seem more confident than I was on the inside, because I was secretly fangirling. I think it worked because I didn't receive any sympathetic looks from the guys, only smiles.

I took a seat next to Michael and gave them all a little wave. "Why don't you introduce yourself? In the meantime, let's give them some privacy," The interviewer said before a screen came up around the table. (idfk bc in my dream the other people just dissapeared & then came back so)

"Woah, what the f-" Luke started before Ashton elbowed him in his side. I laughed before I realised nobody else found that funny and bit my lip. I looked at Ashton who had a light smile playing on his face.

"So, um, my name is Hazel and I'm 19 years old. I came all the way from Australia to see you guys," I introduced.

"Oh, we're from Australia, too!" Michael blurted out. I looked over to him with incredulous eyes and said, "No, really? I didn't know that," before giggling.

"What part of Australia?" Ashton asked, leaning back and uncrossing his legs.

"Sydney. I'm basic, I know," I answered while cracking a smile. Luke and Calum chuckled at my lame joke.

We continued chatting for a while, and I felt very close to Michael. He seemed like a funny and genuine person. Our conversation was cut short when the interviewer suddenly removed the screen. "Sorry, guys. You're time is up," She said not so apologetically. "Luke, do you want to pick the next person?" I took this as her way of telling me, Get out, you're time is over sweetie.

I rose to my feet and plopped back in my seat. Luke had picked the next girl- who looked like she was about to faint- and the girl next to me nudged my arm again. I looked over to her with a questioning look. "Yeah?"

"What was it like?" She eagerly asked, her eyes wide and slightly crazed.

"Um, it was good. They were really nice to me and easy to talk to," I explained, a smile forming on my lips.

"What did they smell like?" The girl asked next. I had to do a double take at that question. That's some next level fangirl shit.

"I don't know! I wasn't sitting there and smelling them." I exclaimed exasperatedly. She rolled her eyes and turned away from me, signalling that the conversation was over.

I sighed and pulled out my phone. Mindlessly texting some of my friends back home while waiting for the other girl to emerge. I snapped one of my closest friends, Ruel, telling him that I finally got to meet 5SOS. I only had to wait a couple seconds before he responded with, "omg yasss you go girl". I smiled and shook my head at his sarcasm. A few minutes later, the girl came out of the screen-shield with a starstruck expression. Was that what I looked like?!

The process repeated, but this time Calum picked the person to go in. This time, it was a tall guy with blonde hair. I looked back to my phone before realising how familiar that person was. I caught a glimpse of his face and it was... Ruel? What the-

I angrily texted him so he could see my messages when he came out. How could he not tell me he was coming? He could've at least came with me.

When his time was up, he glanced over at me and sent a lazy grin my way. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the smile creeping onto my face. Ruel went to sit down where he was originally and I huffed.

(okay this next part is unrealistic- well this whole story is tbh- but this is what happened in my dream)

"Last up we have Ashton! Ashton, are you ready to pick the last person?" The interviewer stated dramatically. He raised his eyebrows at her tone and exhaled. "Let's hope so," He mumbled.

Ashton scanned the crowd yet again, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. His eyes locked on mine and I gave him a comforting smile; I assumed he would just return the gesture and move on. But his eyes never left mine. Ashton sent me a lopsided grin before exclaiming, "Hazel! Come on up here."

My jaw dropped to say the least. There were mumbles from the people surrounding me, as well as multiple dirty looks being thrown at me. The interviewer glanced around and looked back at the crew mouthing, "Is this allowed?" The camera crew in turn shrugged at her.

I scrambled to my feet and picked my way through the audience. This time I sat down next to Ashton. I figured I would sit next to him because he was the one that invited me. "Why did you pick me again?" I whisper-shouted at him. Ashton just let out a little giggle while looking at Calum and threw an arm behind me.

I shook my head playfully at their stupidity and leaned back. They asked me questions about my life back in Australia, and I asked about random things. I didn't want to be basic and just ask about music.

"Ashton, are you ever going to dye your hair like Michael?" I inquired.

"Nah, he's too pussy," Luke jabbed, making everyone laugh.

"Says you, Mr. I've-never-done-anything-to-my-hair," Michael crowed as everyone laughed again.

I reached my hand up to run it through Ashton's dark brown locks. "I think if you dyed it a red type color, it would look really good," I suggested. He peeped up at me through his eyelashes and I held his gaze. My cheeks tinted pink as I realised our close proximity.

I moved away from him only for Ashton to wrap an arm around my waist. I glanced at him but he was already talking to Calum. I felt slightly awkward in the position, so to free my arm I placed a hand on his knee. Ashton slightly stiffened before relaxing. A grin played on my lips as we all engaged in conversation.

The screen lowered again and the interviewer was talking to the audience. "So that's all the time we have for today! I hope everyone enjoyed themselves, and we'll hopefully see you boys in the future," She winked. "We're going to let 5SOS exit first, so please stay seated until we give you the word."

I made to go back into the crowd when Ashton grabbed my hand and pulled me with them. "We want you to come with us to the back room," Michael giddily told me. "I heard there was a movie theater back there." I sucked in a short breath before following. I relished in the feeling of Ashton's warm hand against mine.

I could practically feel all the people behind me glaring daggers into my skull. Their whispers washed over my head and I felt a wave of anxiety. Ashton must have sensed this as he brushed his thumb over my knuckles. I gratefully smiled at him before looking at the ground.

We reached the 'back room' which was basically a movie theater but with long couches instead of individual seats. I gasped as I took in the lush couches. I dropped Ashton's hand and bee-lined towards one in the center. I settled into the comfortable cushions and reveled in the coziness.

Michael sat down on my left and Ashton on my right. I snatched Michael's beanie off his head, letting out a soft "teehee." He opened his mouth to protest but stopped when he saw me tugging the cap onto my brown hair. "You're so annoying," Michael chuckled.

"You know you love me," I retorted, sticking out my tongue at him.

"Real mature," He rolled his eyes sarcastically, still smiling.

"Hazel," Ashton murmured from beside me. I twisted my head to look up at him. "Yeah?"

He tapped the end of my nose, saying, "Boop." I burst out laughing- even though it wasn't that funny- and they all looked at me like I was crazy.

"Shhh, the movie is starting!" Luke harshly whispered. "Oops," I giggled, mimicking a shush gesture to Luke. The beginning of Back to the Future started playing on the large screen in front of us.

I felt a familiar arm snake around my waist yet again, pulling me into Ashton's side. I leaned up so my mouth was next to his ear. "Very bold and cuddly, I see," I whispered, running my nose along the shell of his ear. The man below me tensed only slightly before rubbing his hand along the side of my torso.

The theater was dark, only the faint glow from the screen providing light. I rested my hand on his knee, but gauged no reaction from Ashton. I lightly ran my middle finger along the inseam of his jeans, moving slowly up towards his crotch area. I heard an intake of breath above me and smirked to myself.

I laid my hand on his upper thigh, making myself comfortable. My head settled against Ashton's firm chest and I let out a content sigh. Our closeness satisfied my craving for human touch. I want to stay like this forever.

...

okay so that's over lmao

peep the ruel shoutout (stream free time) lmk what you thought! :)

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfic #fluff #5sos #5 seconds of summer #writing #fanfic #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum hood #ruel #help me

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new2fivesauce · 4 years

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Please Don't Regret Me - 4. Lavender Sheets

4091 words.

No Warnings... I think.

Sorry for the looooooong wait. I hope this makes up for it. I think the ending sucks but I needed to get this out my head fast before I put it off again. Enjoy.

June 2018.

Nelle's departure from being 5 Seconds of Summer’s assistant had been abrupt, leaving her feel like she had left her job incomplete thus causing her to spiral through a series of emotions and phases she believed she hadn’t felt since she was a raging, hormonal teenager.

The day she had given her news, they all awkwardly arrived at the airport at the same time. In her haze of emotions, she had not changed nor cancelled her flight to Australia and since 5sos was also flying international, they were stuck in the same terminal. Luke and Nelle did not speak again since their elevator meet. Michael noticed their tension, but didn’t say anything. His saddened green eyes only flickered between the two as they both tried their best to ignore one another. It wasn’t how she wanted to leave Luke, but she didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Calum, however, was the first to come up to her and apologize, practically beg her to forgive him for being such a selfish, shitty friend. Ashton and Michael followed suit with their apologies letting bygones be bygones. They agreed to keep in touch; everything returning to somewhat normal although the guys still looked bummed walking towards their flight with their new assistant.

She’d spent a couple weeks in Australia, staying in the house duplex she and Calum had bought together with their first good paychecks, but had hardly used due to constant traveling. She spent time with her parents, visited the guys' families, cleaned their empty homes to not waste money on a cleaning service, and took the duties of taking care of Duke from Mrs. Hood. Nelle also hung out with a few old schoolmates but quickly regretted that choice. They all seemed to “remember” how good friends they were, trying to manipulate Nelle for favors or money only because she knew “certain” people.

Mali-Koa, Calum’s sister, came to visit one week. She’d heard the news of Nelle’s leaving, and insisted that she come back with her to London.

“Girl, you needed a break from those dweebs anyways.”

So she did.

Nelle didn’t last very long in London though. Word had been passed of Nelle’s whereabouts which caused a very weepy, distraught Michael to leave a lengthy voicemail about betraying them for Cal's bitchy sister. She wasn’t really enjoying her time in London anyway, leaving Mali about 3 weeks later. She made a quick visit back to Australia before deciding that perhaps living in her vacant loft in Manhattan wouldn’t be such a bad idea. She’d let Calum know that Duke was coming with her before departing to the Big Apple.

She’d only been in NYC for two days when she’d run into a childhood friend that was not Calum.

Sasha Hendricks had been Nelle’s best friend when their parents were in the Army. They’d lived on the same bases and traveled the world together before Nelle’s parents settled in Australia and Sasha’s in Texas. Every year, before Nelle took on her job with 5sos, the girls alternated spending summers with one another in their country. They hadn’t seen much of each other in more than five years so no doubt it was a huge surprise when they both walked into the same small, cozy café.

Sasha had derailed from her parent’s Army footsteps to become a model. Not in the big leagues with faces like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid, but she was aiming to get there.

With Sasha there, she didn’t feel so alone in the big city. It made her move a lot easier to handle but also there was just something about the city of New York and all of its noise that made Nelle feel at her calmest. She hadn’t been in the city for more than a two weeks now but if she had to be completely honest with herself, this was the best she’d felt in a long time.

<<*>><<*>>

Duke pushed ahead of Nelle, clearly already knowing his way around their block. He sniffed along a passerby's shoe, received a compliment from a passing child, and then decided he has enough the outdoors. He led the way back to the loft.

Nelle had just passed her building lobby’s front desk, when the security officer called her back. She looked down at Duke, where he was already looking up at her as in saying Oh shit, what did we do?

“Padilla, right?” the officer asked her from behind his desk. Nelle nodded slowly. “A package arrived for you while you were gone. Delivery guy didn’t want to leave it outside your door.” He said this as he retrieved a rather large box from the floor next to him. He heaved it over the desk and slid it over to her. She glared at the box hesitantly, not sure if she could carry it up to the 5th floor by herself.

“It’s not as heavy as it looks.” Security said, noticing her expression.

She thanked him for holding her package, grabbed the box awkwardly… he was right. It was not as heavy as it looked, then proceeded, with Duke at her feet, to the elevators.

Nelle barely made it inside her loft with the enormous box. Sure it didn’t weigh a ton, but five floors was a long time to be carrying a box.

Duke ran in, going straight to his water bowl near the kitchen. He didn’t care when Nelle set the cardboard box next to him. She went into one of her kitchen drawers, pulling out a knife to cut through the tape sealing the flaps down.

There were five thin, but square shaped boxes inside with a thousand packing peanuts. She made sure to carefully remove the small boxes without making a mess of the peanuts. She couldn’t risk Duke swallowing one up. The thought of telling Calum if such thing happened nauseated her.

Nelle was in the midst of opening the first thin box, when there was a knock on her door. Duke peeked around the kitchen corner to look at the door suspiciously. He growled a bit as Nelle went up the door.

“Duke… it’s just Sasha.” She clarified after peeping through the door hole and swinging the door open.

Sasha sauntered in, wearing a very see-through top and what looked like plastic pants. Her feet kicked off the six-inch heels with a sigh of relief. One heel slid close to Duke; he growled at it.

“Yeah, pipsqueak. It’s just me.” Sasha stuck her tongue out at the small dog. Nelle thought she imagined Duke rolling his eyes at the model.

Duke was kind to everyone… well almost everyone. Sasha had accidentally stepped on Duke's paw on their first meet. Ever since then, he tolerated her. He let her pet him but for the most part, he just stayed clear of the tall brunette.

Without another word, Sasha found her way to Nelle’s bedroom, emerging ten minutes later in a pair of Nelle’s Halloween pajama pants that were slightly too short since she was taller than Nelle and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that fit too big.

Nelle hadn’t noticed Sasha wearing the shirt until she came up beside her about to open the first of five packages. Seeing her friend in the shirt made her freeze, her throat closed around a sudden lump that made it almost too hard to speak.

“Hey Sash… where’d you get that shirt from?” Nelle croaked. Sasha shrugged.

“Your suitcase. Why?” the girl looked down at the shirt and suddenly a zesty whiff of it caught her nose. Sasha hardly hung out the boys, only when she been to Australia during the summers, but she knew a guy smell when she smelt it and by the way Nelle’s face had gone temporarily pale, she slowly retreated back to the bedroom because she now realized this was not just some random shirt. Sasha knew all about Luke. She knew it was a bit of a touchy subject. She quickly changed into another shirt that was lying around.

Finally, when Sasha came back into the room, Nelle opened the awaiting first package. The flaps of the skinny box opened fully until they were flat against the kitchen counter surface. Staring up at her were four familiar faces in various shades of yellow, violet, and blue. The word YOUNGBLOOD was written across the middle in a graffiti red font. Nelle carefully lifted the plastic entrapped vinyl record from the cardboard.

Sasha, hovering over her friend’s shoulder, whistled lowly. “Damn, you didn't tell me Cal looked that good now!”

Nelle snickered and threw back a playful hit to Sasha's side. “I've tried to hook y’all up multiple times. You two just hate love so much.” Sasha scoffed as she pulled the new record from Nelle’s grip. She flipped it over to see the back and the track listing.

“Oh, I’ve heard Want You Back just the other day. Was Luke singing about you?” Sasha mused as she put the vinyl down and helped open the other boxes. There were two more of the same record, two CDs, and finally at the very bottom of the original box under the packing peanuts was the band’s clothing merch to go along with the new era.

Nelle ran her hand over the material of one of the shirts that showcased the boys' faces. Her fingers lingering over Luke’s face. “Nah. That song was written before I left.”

Sasha’s eyebrow quirked up, but she shrugged her shoulders. She held up one of the CD albums. “Should we listen?” Nelle nodded. “Good, because we were going to regardless.”

<<*>><<*>>

Nicole: Welcome back everyone. If you’re just tuning in, we have 5 Seconds of Summer in the studio right now! They’ve just released their new album and they were thoughtful enough to stop by today to talk about it. Guys, why don’t y’all say hello again.

Michael: Hey, I’m Michael.

Ashton: I’m Ash.

Calum: Calum, here.

Luke: And I’m Luke. We’re 5 Seconds of Summer.

Ryan: We have a few more questions from our callers. This one is from Mary: Youngblood is obviously the principal track seeing as it’s also the name of the album. Did you know that that was going to be the name of it or was it like a damn, we forgot to name the album, quick, just pick a song to name it after kind of thing?

Michael: HA! Yeah, that last option. Without a doubt.

Ashton: No, really! It was. We had other titles that we were referring the album to during the recording session, but we had to scrap a bunch of songs and basically start over. The album wasn’t fully completed and to our satisfaction until just last month. We had the promo pictures, the whole works, and then they were like ‘Is this going to be named Untitled?’ and Mike was like ‘What’s our next single? Just call it that.’

Nicole: Woow! I guess your fans really know you, huh? So I’ve been listening to it pretty much on repeat and some of these songs are really deep, heart wrenching, very mature. Very different from your previous albums. Can you explain the writing process and how this album was not like the others?

Luke: With Youngblood, they gave us a lot more creative permission, I guess is the right way to put it. Our other albums were done when we were teens so lyrically and musically, they didn’t give us as much freedom as they did with YB. We had to take a break after the release and touring of the second album because we were just so worn down; our physical and mental health were at an all-time low.

Ashton: It just sucked, really. We couldn’t focus or concentrate on what was going to be our new album when we just weren’t feeling like ourselves. Halfway into our break, Want You Back just came to me. When I played it through for the first time to the guys, everything else just came naturally from there. I guess that would be the rawness and deep, wrenching sound you hear so different from our previous work.

Ryan: One of our listeners is asking if any of the songs are about anyone in particular. Girlfriend maybe?

Calum: Umm… no? Ha, I don’t think so. At least none of the songs that I input in aren’t about anyone. I mean… sure, we take from our past experiences and put them into song, but for me, that’s a no.

Michael: Cal is anti-love, everyone. I think, like Cal said, we take from our past experiences; we’ve been up, down, and around the world for a long time. That does it make difficult to be in a relationship with someone and actually make it work. I’ve tried, Ash has tried, we all have. It’s just not in our cards right now.

Ashton: Unless you count our personal assistant…

Nicole: Whoa! Personal assistant? Who’s dating the personal assistant? … … Listeners, everyone is looking at Luke.

Ryan: Aww, he’s blushing.

Calum: He’s not dating our personal assistant. What Ashton means is… our EX-assistant, who had been with us since before the beginning, ya know, quit on us just before we released Youngblood the single. We’ve never been with any other assistant than her. So, it’s been challenging to say the least and Luke, who’s probably the most dependent person EVER, has been having a grueling time adjusting without her here.

Ashton: Yeah, yeah! Nelle was the best! She was like f*cking top-notch. I think like Rihanna, One Direction before their hiatus, uhh, I want to also say Fifth Harmony have tried to hire her when she was still with us. She’s like the fifth member of the band. She’s the fifth Second.

Michael: Dude, that was lame. But so damn true. Funny story, she used to come out in a lot of our paparazzi pictures and the fans would just ugh, be so nasty to her because they thought she was one of our girlfriends or whatever. We had to come out with a statement saying like yo, chill, she’s just our assistant, she means no harm, she’s just walking me to McDonalds… Then the fans were like OMG Nelle has the best style and she’s so beautiful blah blah blah. So, she’s a Yale student now with one of those influencer instas… so make sure to follow @seeyouneller…

<<>><>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

The hotel room was tense. No one dared to make a sound as Luke paced back and forth. His fury running off him, his hands were clenched at his sides, his mouth in a scowl, his light blue eyes were dark as the ocean floor.

Calum nervously looked at his blonde friend, worried that even just glancing at him might cause Luke to erupt. The longest five minutes passed before Luke stopped walking. He turned his body to the cowering three. He inhaled and then signed the heaviest sigh.

“I swear, you have the biggest fucking mouth!” Luke exclaimed towards Ashton.

Ashton shook his head, his red locks bouncing around his head. The newly dyed red hair matched Ashton’s hot head nature and with Luke going off on his, Ashton didn’t know how much longer he could hold it in.

“It was just a statement! I didn’t exactly say Oh Luke is dating our ex-assistant because it’s not fucking true. It was just a quip. You two left off on… whatever the fuck ya’ll left off on, so… It was nothing, Luke.”

Luke glared at the drummer. His breathing was hard, making it look like his whole body was shaking. His fists were clenched at his side, knuckles white to the bone.

“Yeah, dude. I mean, it could have been me who was dating her.” Michael chimed in. “Sorry we looked at you. I don’t know what to really say… It’s just one interview of like a hundred that we’re going to do. No one is going to get anything out of it.”

Calum, who had remained quiet this whole time, suddenly cleared his throat. His friends all turned to him, Luke’s eyebrow raising in a bold way.

“You know we are in New York though.” Calum started. “And we were on satellite radio… You guys remember Sasha… Nelle’s other best friend. Would spend the summer with her every other year? Had braces for like ever then the last summer she visited, she was super hot?”

“Yes, we know you have the hots for her.” Ashton said exasperatedly. “What about her?”

“Anyway, she texted me. She heard the interview. Nelle listen to it. No biggie.” Calum tried to smile, but failed tremendously. Michael darted his eyes to Luke.

“We didn’t say anything bad about her. She’s fine, right? Fuck… I should text her. We should ask her to get dinner with us. She’s back at the loft, right?” Ashton pulled his phone out his pocket as he spoke. He was already tapping rapidly on his phone before anyone could answer.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side. “You’ve been talking to her?”

At this question, Ashton slowly lowered his phone to his lap. He gulped audibly. His words were stuck in his throat. He hadn’t meant to slip up. It had been decided that he with Michael and Calum were not going to tell Luke where Nelle was living at. He had already tried to follow her to Australia once and London.

It had been unpredicted what each member would go through at Nelle’s departure. Calum was sad for a few days; he wasn’t sure what to do with himself without his travel buddy, but quickly adjusted to the new assistant. Michael, too, was upset, but he was adapting well. Ashton wallowed for a bit, maybe more so than Calum and Michael, because like Luke, he still crushed way too hard on Nelle. He knew that there was nothing ever going to happen between the two; he’d realized that Nelle did have feelings for Luke, so he had to get over it, and she was always a text or phone call away, so the adjusting wasn’t too difficult. It was just she was not there anymore, physically.

However, Luke went through a tantrum phase. Anything the new assistant did was absolutely wrong. He blew up at the smallest things. If he asked for room temperature water, but got slightly cool water, he would throw a bitch fit. He distanced himself from the band for a bit. He only spoke with them when they had shows or interviews. He’d stayed locked up in his bus bunk, hotel room, wherever they were staying at. He’d text Nelle and she’d never reply. He had tried to go Home whenever he’d spoken with his mother and she told him that Nelle had just left her house. He tried to go to London when he’d overheard Michael leaving a rather upsetting voicemail about her disowning them for Mali-Koa. The sudden vastness of her being not there threw him for a loop. This crush, intense liking, feeling for her was messing with him severely. If she’d departed the band at any other time, he knew he wouldn’t be reacting this way. She just had to leave when his emotions for her had just blossomed.

Fuck.

Calum suddenly raised up from his spot on the couch. He was nervously spinning his phone in hand, checking the time after every third spin.

Suddenly he stopped, facing Luke. Calum’s head tilted slightly, confused at once.

“I just don’t fucking get it.” He mused. This time it was Luke to look bewildered. “Why? Why are suddenly so strung up on Nelle? You’re acting so clingy and it’s weird. You’ve never shown any interest in her. We go on hiatus, start touring again and all of sudden you’re acting like her boyfriend. Giggling, sleeping in her room, fighting to sit next to her, inside jokes…”

“Ya know… now that you’re saying it like that, it definitely seems like Luke is keeping something from us.” Michael chimed in. Ashton’s head perked up towards the front man. Could Luke been harboring a secret this long, months on end? Luke was never good with keeping quiet.

Luke’s eyes darted around his bandmates. His scowl dropping, being replaced with nervous lip chewing and nervous hand twisting.

He inhaled and exhaled heavily.

“We kissed.” He blurted out after what felt like minutes of awkward silence and three pairs of eyes awaiting eagerly.

Michael clutched his imaginary pearls, his very exaggerated gasps filling the room.

“What? When? Where? HoooOOOOoOW?” he howled. Calum shot him an annoyed glance.

Calum was neither shocked nor upset about the statement. He just wanted to know what happened between his two best friends. He just wanted his band to go back to normal.

“It was when we were on break.” Luke exclaimed. Ashton’s eyebrow raised. He recalled him spending time with Nelle, not anymore than usual, yet she never brought up the fact that she had kissed one of his best friends.

“Well that explains fucking everything.” Michael stated sarcastically. “C’mon, there’s gotta be more.”

Luke sighed, shaking his head.

“I was supposed to be doing my therapy sessions, but every time I'd get in the car, I’d have these intense anxiety attacks that kept me from driving. I told Cal and he suggested he drive me… I said okay and on the next time I went to his house so we could ride together. He wasn’t there but Nelle was.

“She was supposed to be on vacation just like us but I explained to her what had happened and she insisted. She took me to my session and we got lunch afterwards. It was weird. We didn’t say much, just made polite conversation.

“On my next session, same thing happened. Cal forgot, wasn’t home, Nelle took me. It became a routine. She took me to all my sessions even after I objected to wasting her time and I could easily get my mom or one of you to take me.

“The day that Ash came up with Want You Back…” Luke paused, his cerulean blues looking towards Calum wearily. “After the session, I was reading the texts from you, telling me to all meet at Cal's because Ashton called a band meeting so we got there but obviously no one was there yet. Nelle invited me into her house. I’d never been inside but that time we helped her and Cal move in…

“By this time we had kind of become friends but there was this tension and I know she felt it too. Next thing I know we're making out… like full-on making out, with her pulling me towards her room. We get in there and we collapse on her bed. I remember black everything and lavender sheets. It smelled like her pop rocks smelling lotion with a twinge of weed. We're kissing. Intensely.”

Luke stopped talking again. All the boys were staring at him, in awe of the story he had been struggling to keep internal. Calum noticed the way Luke reached up to place a hand on his chest; he clutched the material of his gray shirt, a far off in the distance glassy gaze on his handsome face.

“She heard Calum’s car on the driveway before I did. I’d been so absorbed in her, thinking how the fuck is this happening? Is this really fucking happening right now! She separated from me so fast that I felt literally cold and empty. Then she acted like nothing happened. She didn’t say anything about it. Just went on like… as if it just didn’t occur.

“But I couldn’t forget. I tried to talk to her about it and she just acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about so I did the same. Then we started touring again and working on the new album and it was a distraction. A good one… until I realized that I liked her. That’s why I was getting to know her, bothering her, hanging around her. She couldn’t tell me no knowing that it would look suspicious to you. I think she gave in to me eventually because I know she feels the same. She feels the same way I feel for her.

“And I'm sorry. I’m sorry to all three of you for keeping this secret. For being a fucking asshole. I just… I think it’s beyond the like stage. I think I’m like… at the L-word stage.”

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #please dont regret me #luke hemming imagines #5 second of summer imagines #5sos imagine

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lovedroughtff · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3- Hail Mary

I ain't a killer, but don't push me Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pussy Picture paragraphs unloaded, wise words being quoted Peeped the weakness in the rap game and sewed it Bow down, pray to God, hopin' that he's listenin' Seein' niggas comin' for me Through my diamonds, when they glistenin' Now pay attention: bless me please, Father, I'm a ghost In these killing fields, hail Mary, catch me if I go Let's go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman Screams in the dark, evil lurks, enemies see me flee Activate my hate, let it break to the flame Set trip, empty out my clip, never stop to aim Some say the game is all corrupt and fucked in this shit Stuck, niggas is lucky if we bust out this shit Plus, mama told me never stop until I bust a nut Fuck the world if they can't adjust, it's just as well, hail Mary Come with me! Hail Mary, nigga, run quick, see What do we have here now? Do you wanna ride or die? La la-la-la la la la la

7 years ago

Julian

“Baby? What are you doing today?” Sienna asked, I looked up from my phone to see my beautiful pregnant Fiancee standing in our kitchen. She wasn’t showing too much, but she was glowing and I couldn’t be happier.

“Nothing much, I have to go talk to Mom and Jilly, and I’m going to meet Logan near Edgewater.”

She looked extremely happy at the fact that I was doing something she had been begging me to do for years. She threw her arms around me and kissed my lips.

“Thank you! I don’t like it when my best friend and future hubby fight.” She pouted.

I chuckled at her cuteness and rubbed her belly.

“What are you doing today future wifey and baby?”

She threw her hair over her shoulder, “Well, we are going to introduce baby to all of my siblings today and they probably take me shopping because that’s all we do.”

“So, you’re telling me that you need my black card.”

She just smiled sweetly and shrugged, “Whatever you want to give me, I’ll gladly accept.”

“Mhm, spoiled ass.” I said pulling out my wallet to hand her my card, “Have you thought of any names?”

She gladly accepted the card and nodded, “Mhm, even though you don’t want the baby to be named after you if we have a boy. I still like the name Julian.”

I shook my head, “I like the name Isaiah or Noah. Any girl names?”

“Brielle or Bridget.”

“No V’s?” I was shocked, all of her siblings first names started with a V like their Mom’s.

“Nah, it’s only so many V’s out there that sound good, and I just want something different.”

I sighed, I know that Sie and her mom haven’t been on good terms for a long time, but she always is gonna need her mom.

“Sie- “ She put her hand up stopping me from talking

“Ju I know you want to come from a good place, but you haven’t been me. I love my mom, but she’s treated me like I’ve been a burden my whole life. She loves Kristen because she loves Kristen’s dad. She loves Rocky,Ari and Bash because she loves Baba. She hates my father, so she treats me like crap. We just don’t have the best relationship and I would just rather not force anything.” She mumbled.

I know talking about her mom is always something she would rather not do, but in order for her to be fine and have our baby, she needs her mother. But I let it go and changed the subject.

“I love you, Sienna, no matter what happens.”

“I love you too JuJu.” She smiled calling me, the nickname that I hated.

~~~~

I pulled up to Avondale, and I wasn’t too excited to do this. I knew for a fact that this would hurt Sienna, but I had business to take care of. I told her I was going to meet Logan, but fuck that nigga.

Why would I want to be friends with someone who has been in love with my girlfriend, since before I met Sienna, and the simple part that he is also someone I do business with is just plain, annoying. That’s why we always get into fights over Sienna, he wants me to tell her what we actually do and to leave her alone, but I refuse to let him have her.

I knocked on the apartment door and she answered. “What took you so long J.” She removed herself from the door and waddles over to the couch.

“I had to deal with Sienna.” I said coming into the shitty apartment that she lived in.

She rolled her eyes, “Does wifey know I’m pregnant with your twins?” She smirked.

I eyed her, because she knew that Sienna was not someone I played with. “Kennedy, what happened the last time you brought up Sienna.”

She stayed quiet and rolled her eyes, “You need to tell her Julian, and be with me.”

“Why would I want to be with a hoodrat? When I have the most perfect woman to come home to already.”

“Then why the fuck do you fuck me?! She must be shitty and got some shitty ass pussy because you come over here enough to get me pregnant with your kids!” She stood up getting mad.

I stood up as well, she knew better. But apparently she doesn’t know her fucking place. I grabbed her neck with my hands and started to choke her, making her drop to her knees.

“I don’t care if you are having my kids. Once you drop them, I’ll kill you and have Sienna raise them. Do you understand?”

With her bright red face, she shook her head and I let go of her neck, and she started coughing.

“Since, you’re down there, you know what to do.” I spoke to her.

I could hear her sniffling, but I didn’t care if she was crying, she unzipped my pants and pulled out my dick to put her mouth around it.

She knows her place and If I have to remind her, then I will.

Dahlia

I was sitting in the bed, playing on my phone. Ashton was around here somewhere taking care of me in my time of need and Cash went to go get my medicine.

I was having a baby, but I couldn’t handle the pressure of being a mom at the age of 17 and a senior in high school. All I could hear was my father and mother yelling at me, ever since I told them I was pregnant by Ash.

“Dahlia Yasmin Ilena Torres, we have raised you better than this. Why did you get pregnant by a gringo?!” My father complained.

My mother wouldn’t talk to me for weeks, they even threatened to kick me out, if I didn’t have an abortion. So, I did, and I told Ashton that I had a miscarriage. But now he’s smothering me, and I can’t take it, it’s literally too much.

“Baby? How are you feeling?” Ash said coming into my bedroom

I smiled, “I’m fine, Ash you can go home. Mom and dad will be back soon, and I know that y’all don’t get along.”

He nodded, “Yeah, you’re parents don’t really fuck with a nigga huh?”

I shook my head, “I don’t want any unnecessary drama. I just want to chill and get better, you know.”

~~~

Ashton had left 3 hours ago, and I was in the room with my little sister Isabella

“So are you going to tell him that you got an abortion?” Izzie asked.

“Hell naw, why would I do that?” I scrunched up my face.

“Because it was his baby?”

“Was it his baby?” I countered.

“Dahlia!!!” Isabella whined.

“What?”

“You know Ashton loves you, way too much. Plus, I thought you were done cheating on him after the 1st time he took you back.”

“I mean, I like having both men in my life, but I love Ashton more, but Nate is more exciting and fun to be around, he’s 21!” I bragged. But before I could finish, my door busted open and Cash was standing there pissed as fuck.

I mumbled a shit, “Cash, it’s not what you think.”

“So, you didn’t cheat on my brother and abort his baby?”

I stayed quiet,

“So, it’s exactly what I think. Are you fucking kidding me Dahlia! I introduced him to you, when you damn near begged me when we were 14! You had the biggest crush on him, remember!!!”

“Cash-“

“No, there is no explaining this to me Lia. You’re my best friend. He’s my brother. You cheated and lied constantly to the both of us. You’re disgusting!”

She went to turn around, and I hopped of the bed, grabbing her arm.

“Autumn, please don’t tell him, okay? It’s not your business.”

She snatched away from me, and looked at me like I was crazy.

“He’s my fucking brother! Of course I’m telling him.”

I grabbed her again, “Dahlia, get your fucking hands off me.”

“YOU CAN’T TELL HIM AUTUMN! PLEASE!”

I was trying to get her to listen, but once Autumn Cashmere Scott makes up her mind, nothing can change it.

She jumped in my face, “WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU TALKING TOO WITH ALL THAT BASS IN YOUR VOICE.”

“IT AIN YOUR BUSINESS CASH, STAY OUT OF IT!” I yelled back

By this time Izzie and my mom was trying to pull us apart from one another,

“FUCK THAT! I’M TELLING HIM THAT YOU’RE A DIRTY BITCH AND THAT YOU KILLED HIS BABY.”

Once I heard the word bitch, I swung at her, and we instantly started fighting, we tumbled down the stairs.

I couldn’t really get the upper hand on her, so Cash was whooping my ass, until my dad pulled us apart.

I was breathing heavy as hell and so was Cash, you could tell she was livid.

“Don’t you ever in your life, come around my brother or me again. Next time, bitch, I will take out my daddy’s shotgun and shoot your stupid ass before you make it up the street. Fucking try me Dahlia. I’m done with you.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE!” I yelled pointing to the door.

She threw my shit out of her purse on the floor, crushing it, before leaving out of the door, she turned around, “FUCK YOU!” and left slamming the door

Ashton

I was at home chilling with Austin, when Dad called me, saying that Cash was hysterical and she was crying at home, so I rushed over with him to see what was wrong with my sister.

As soon as I got through the door, I could hear her screaming and crying, and tearing shit up in her room.

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked Pops

He shrugged, “Teenage girls, She came in the house screaming about Dahlia and went in her room, tearing things up.”

Dahlia? I know Cash and Lia are best friends, and they had to have had a falling out of she was acting like this, but what the hell was that damn bad.

Austin stayed downstairs with pops and I ran up the staris, 2 by 2 until I reached the top, walking to Cash’s room.

“Cash, what the hell.”

I looked around her room and it looked like a tornado hit it.

“I’m done with that bitch! Fuck her!” She yelled pointing in my face

“What happened?” I looked and saw all the pictures that had Dahlia in them torn to shreds, all the gifts and clothes they shared over the years of being friends, torn, ripped and thrown all over the place.

“That bitch put her hands on me, but I showed her that I’m nothing to play with and whooped her Mexican ass. She’s crazy. Stop fucking with her Jasper. I mean that shit.”

She never calls me my middle name, no one did except Mom, so I knew she was dead ass serious, but I still didn’t know what happened.

“Dahlia is on rest from miscarrying the baby. She shouldn’t have been out of the bed and y’all shouldn’t have fought!”

She rolled her eyes and put her hair in a ponytail. “She Ain miscarry no damn baby, Jasper. Leave her the fuck alone.”

“What are you trying to say? I can’t leave her alone.”

“And why the fuck not?” She crossed her arms.

“How about, she just miscarried my baby, and I love her, when she turns 18 next week, I’m going to propose.”

I pulled the ring out of my pocket, I wanted Cash to see it, and I wanted to prove to everyone that Dahlia isn’t a phase to me, I love her and she’s my forever. Yes, I’m 19, but she’s only a year and some months younger than me. But I want to provide and be there for her like our dad was with our mom.

Cash took the ring box out of my hand and instantly sighed, before screaming “SHE’S CHEATING ON YOU ASHTON!”

~~~~~~~

I was at the hospital, cause Dahlia called me crying, but the conversation that Cash and I had, kept playing in my head.

Cash really fucked up D, cause Dahlia had a broken nose, a black eye and a few bruised ribs with some out of socket fingers.

She was going on and on about how Cash was disrespectful and Cash punched her first which started the fight, which doesn’t sound like the fight that Cash described to me. And doesn’t sound anything like my sister. But she kept on crying and telling me that I need to cut off my sister.

I was listening to everything she was saying, but the question if she was cheating again, was stuck in the back of my head.

“I can’t believe she would do that to me, I thought we were best friends.” She whispered playing with the tattoo on my chest. I was laying in the hospital bed with her and we were cuddling.

“So, you’re not cheating on me again?” I asked her, she instantly froze up against my body. I sat up and looked at her face, I needed to know if she was lying.

“You freezing says a lot D.”

“I didn’t freeze Ashton, your question caught me off guard, I told you that I wouldn’t do that to you again.” She spoke calmly.

“So, why did you get into a fight with my sister? Because the story you’re telling me isn’t lining up with what Cash said. And Cash is anything but a liar.”

“You’re going to believe your sister over me?” She asked with fake hurt. It was pissing me off

“Yasmin, you really testing my patience. I can read you like a fucking book. TELL ME THE TRUTH! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT NIGGA AGAIN.”

She started crying and I could literally hear my heart break for the 2nd time by this girl. I was done, I got out the bed and put my shoes on. If I didnt leave, I would be getting arrested.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” She cried to me, she touched my shoulders and I shook her off, causing her to wince out in pain from her fight with Cash.

“You said that the last time Dahlia.” I stood up and turned around, and asked the one question, i knew I was going to regret.

“Was it even my baby?” I asked

She shook her head no, I chuckled, but I could hear my voice cracking, “So you were gonna let me raise a kid that wasn’t even mine.”

“I didn’t want to lose you Ashton. I love you.” She grabbed my hand, trying to make me see her side, but I took my hand away from her.

“Fuck you, Dahlia.”

Logan

I was pissed as fuck because Julian was late again. I was here with our distributor and he was getting antsy without Julian being here.

He pointed to his watch, signifying the time and shrugged his shoulders.

“He’ll be here. I promise.” I spoke, I motioned for some of the boys to wait with the distributor while I called julian.

I instantly got his voicemail; “Nigga, where the hell you at!! The cartel is here and we waiting on your ass. Get here now!”

I hung up the phone and went back into the warehouse, before I could even open my mouth, Julian bursts through the door.

“Sorry I’m late, but before we get started could I speak to you Logan?”

We exited the room, “Nigga what the fuck, we can’t be here all fucking night.”

“My bad, my phone died, I had to deal with Kennedy and my mom, a lot of shit has been going on.”

“Put all that shit aside, and let’s get this money.”

~~~~

As we were talking with the head of the Torres Cartel and our boys were counting the coke, and money. A commotion rung about,

“What the hell,” Julian said, getting up with me right behind him.

On high alert, we entered the room, to see our boys in the faces of the cartel.

“What’s going on here.” I asked

“Boss, this isn’t the cocaine we ordered, this is the fake shit that’s been going around.” He said never leaving the face of the cartel member.

Julio, The lead of the cartel spoke up, “Check again son, my cocaine is the purest form.”

“I checked, 4 times. It’s pure shit.”

If we didn’t get control of this situation and fast, it was going to be deadly. Before anything or anyone else said anything, Julian went over to try the coke, the way he looked, I knew he believed our guy.

“Logan,” I walked over to try it, and they were both right. This tasted like regular baking soda.

“What is the meaning of all of this.” Julio, was calm and put his hands up in the air, very nonchalantly.

“Are you trying to skimp us? We pay you every 6 months for the best drugs and here we are with baking soda.” Julian said, throwing it to the ground in front of the cartel.

“Julian, Logan. There is a misunderstanding.” He simply said.

“No misunderstanding Julio. My boy is the best taster besides myself and Logan. We all think it’s shit. So, we will take back our money and find a new distributor. Because I don’t like messy business.”

My eyes grew big, with the amount of product we put on the streets, no one really had the supply except Torres. Either Julian is bluffing or I don’t know but I got a feeling this isn’t ending well.

“You’ve tasted it. That is not how we do things.” Julio spoke, a little too calmly for my liking.

“So you want me to take 5 million dollars worth of baking soda and do what with it?” Julian asked.

“I don’t give a fuck, but once the money is in our possession, it isn’t our issue anymore.” Julio laughed, I knew that pissed Julian off, but he just simply smiled.

Before I could even do anything, I heard, “Julian! Duck!!”

He ducked down in time for one of the Torres cartel, to hit and kill one of their own. They were trying to set us up and we weren’t about to have that shit.

Shots rang out and we instantly pulled our guns out of our waist shooting at the Torres Cartel, Julian and I separated to cover the most ground making sure that none of us were hurt.

I was pissed, all I wanted to do was stay at home, but here I am. In this mess.

Julian was on the other side, fighting some of the lower level in the cartel and I was making sure our boys were good. Next thing I know, I hear loud ass shots basically in my ear, I turn around and see Julian on the ground, going unconscious.

I run over to him, seeing he’s been hit 5 times, and tried to stop the bleeding. I got some of the guys to help me, but we need to get him to the hospital. NOW!

I made sure that it was safe, and I ran off to get the disposable truck. Hoping in and grabbing the keys from the armrest, I started the car, putting it into gear and sped to the part of the warehouse he was in. By the time I got back, the cartel was gone. I rolled down the window and yelled,

“Shit!! Load him in the car!” I screamed at the boys. They grabbed a hurt Julian and loaded him in the car as I drove off.

“KEEP HIS ASS AWAKE!!”

I was speeding like crazy, praying that no cops were out tonight.

“Logan! He’s fading out!” One of them yelled.

“I SAID KEEP HIS ASS AWAKE!!!!” I yelled weaving through traffic.

“Sienna, please don’t tell Sienna.” He mumbled.

“Don’t worry about Sienna! Stay awake Julian!”

I finally got across town and near enough to the hospital to drop him off, we couldn’t take him, it was against protocol.

We got him out of the truck and carefully sat him down on the ground. One of the boys shot 5 shots in the air, with the gun that shot Julian, and the other called the police and threw the phone into the lake.

Before I could leave, Julian grabbed my hand, looking at me, “No Matter what happens, Sienna doesn’t know a thing, Please Logan. Protect her.”

“I wont need to, because you’ll be there to protect them both.” I said back

“Boss man we gotta go!” One of the boys yelled, I nodded and let him go,

Jumping back into the car, racing to the warehouse, we made sure everything was destroyed, including our clothes, and the car we took him in. One of the boys had to take Julian’s car near the sight were we dropped him off, the police will be looking for it soon enough, and it cant be here.

By the time, I got home and settled down, Sienna called me crying. Julian had died.

“Fuck!” I called out. Looks like I’m in charge of the business, and that is something I didn’t want to be doing.

Sienna

My sisters were cooing over my stomach and rubbing, as I just told them that I was pregnant. Even though, I’m only 19 right now (turning 20 next month), I couldn’t wait to have this baby. Julian and I decided to keep the pregnancy a secret, especially since once we told our parents we knew shit would hit the fan. But also, to make sure that nothing happened to the baby.

I was four months pregnant today, and barely showing, and glad for it.

“Does Mama and Baba know?” Kristen asked,

I nodded, “Baba nearly put JuJu through the wall in the kitchen. I had to stop him from hurting him.” Chuckling at the thought.

“Of course he would, you know Baba doesn’t play about us.” Rocky laughed.

We were all light hearted and cracking jokes and making up baby names for my and Julian’s child, when his younger sister called me. I picked it up still laughing with my sisters.

“Hey Jilly-“ I paused and sat up once I heard her crying.

“Sienna, you gotta get to St. Mary’s Now!” She sobbed.

“What’s the matter Jilly?”

My sisters were now concerned at the nervousness in my face and how my body stiffened while being on the phone.

“He was shot Sienna! You gotta get here now!”

“W-who was shot?”

I started trembling at the thought, that I knew exactly who she was talking about.

I didn’t even hear her when she said Julian’s name, I just dropped the phone with tears running down my face.

“I got to go, Julian was shot!” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I broke down.

“Sienna, you cant drive like this!” Kristen yelled.

“I have to go.” I grabbed my stuff, but my hands were trembling so bad, I kept dropping everything.

“Were driving you, Sienna.” Rocky took my stuff and Ari and Kris grabbed my hands leading me to the car.

By the time, I got to the hospital, he was gone, I walked up to his sister.

“Jilly, what happened!”

“Sienna, I-I dont know. Mother is his emergency contact and she called me. They found him near Lincoln.”

“Lincoln, he said he was going to Edgewood?” I told her

“I need to see him.” I said

Jilly grabbed my hand, “ I don’t think that’s a good idea Sienna. Mother is back there with the doctors. Making arrangements.”

“I should be making arrangements, we’re engaged. I want to be apart of this ” I told her.

Another secret we kept from the entire family, we just wanted to live our lives and be happy. I didn’t want anyone ruining my pregnancy or engagement, so we shut up about it.

“Sienna, it’s not a good idea.”

“What room is he in.”

She saw my face and knew I was serious “237.”

As soon as I heard the number, I ran to the room as fast as my feet could allow me.

I reached his room and I saw his body covered up and blood was all over him. I instantly started crying.

I walked in and touched his hand. “Ju what were you doing in Lincoln. Why-why couldn’t you just stay home when I called you earlier?”

I was balling when I heard his mother’s voice, “Sienna,let him go.”

I turned and saw his mother, the police and a pregnant girl.

“Ms. Pearson,”

“Sienna, you need to leave and let my son go.” I knew the witch didnt like me, but she knew how much I love him and he loves me. I was shocked at her reaction, I was the only one crying. She was stoned.

“He’s my fiancée, the father of my child. I’m not leaving.”

“He’s not your Fiancee, he’s mine” The pregnant girl spoke up.

I sat up, from Julian’s body and looked at the both of them, “Who the hell are you?”

“Kennedy, the mother of Julian’s sons. I would appreciate if you got off him” She put her hand on her belly, and I saw the ring.

“Youre lying, Julian wouldn’t cheat on me, and he wouldn’t have you saying your the fiancee when I am.” I pulled out my necklace, which also had my engagement ring on it to show them.

His mother motioned for the police officer to get me and I stepped back.

“Ma’am, the immediate family has asked you to leave. Either you leave willingly or I am going to have to force you our of here.”

I never fought so hard in my life.

~~~~

By this time, I was at Logan’s house with Phoenix and I was crying on her lap. I had been here for the past 6 hours and it was now 2 am. I couldn’t wrap my head around what just happened and how it happened.

“He said he was coming to meet you Logan, did you see him today?” I cried, looking up from Phoe’s lap.

He shook his head, “You know we don’t get along Si, why would I meet him?”

I wiped my tears, only for new ones to form, “I have no idea what’s going on. He has another baby mother, his mother kicking me out. She isn’t going to let me be apart of the funeral. I just- what is happening!!” I cried out.

“Vivienne. I understand you’re sad, and you don’t know what to do. But you have to worry about the baby in your stomach. You need to calm down before anything happens.” Phoenix said rubbing my hair out of my face.

“Phoenix-“

“I know honey, I know it sucks, but you need to now figure out your next move and what you’re going to do. So, what is the next thing you want? You want to go back to the apartment, stay here, come to mine, go to your mom’s?”

I shook my head, “Can I stay here and you stay here. It’s late.”

“Logan?” Phoenix asked him

“Yeah, yall can have my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He mumbled

“Okay, that’s figured out, what next?” She asked again

“I want to go to his funeral.”

She nodded, “Okay, I’ll find out what when it is, and we’ll go together.”

I mumbled an okay, and laid my head back down in her lap

“i- I just want him back. We were fine this morning.” I sniffled and started crying again.

“I know sweetie, I know.”

I noticed that Logan would barely look at me, and his phone was blowing up, more than normal. He just kept his head in his hands and wouldn’t say anything.

I cried myself to sleep that night, cuddling my best friend.

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5-secondsofcolor · 5 years

Text

The New Year

Note: This is one of the first fics I’ve ever written and the first one I’ve ever published anywhere. I’m far from an amazing writing but part of my new years resolution is practicing and gaining confidence in writing. It’s a little clunky so, please, feel free to leave me feedback! K, thank you for reading.

Warnings: Some swearing? None really.

-----

Calum’s family decide to stay through New Years; David’s freshly retired, Joy is more than happy to spend more time with Cal, and Mali’s just along for the ride this year. They tell Calum not to fret, to enjoy his new year as he planned but he can't leave them.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, he realizes what he's got to do. Introduce Laura to his family. It's not like they weren't friends before, he's known her more than a year, and she's not a secret to anyone. The issue is that they still find themselves in an in-between. What've they got? Monogamy? Yep. Sleepovers? Yeah. Weekends away? A few here and there with a final one planned to close off the year. A New Year's cabin trip just for two. Well they had to reschedule that one.

Joy quickly throws together a dinner, inviting Ashton, Luke, and Michael and his parents, of course. She’s happy to get them together for dinner again, anytime with the boys together is special for her. Knowing they’ll be there has also brought some relief to Laura; she’s still getting to know Luke and Ash but Michael and her get along like a house on fire. Rapidly pairing together at parties and clubs they're dragged out to, there’s a comfortable understanding that they’ve got one another’s back.

Nervousness grips Laura on December 30th, a full day before it needs to. She tries on outfit after outfit trying to find something good enough to meet his family in. Suddenly there's an issue with every item in her closet, it's either too small or too large, too formal or too frumpy, long story short it's all fucking wrong. Then she finds it, a maroon wrap dress buried in the back of her closet. It’s not perfect but it'll work. Now, what in the world does she bring to this thing?

“Laura, this is Mali. Mali this is Laura, we've..umm been dating.” Calum says quickly introducing them.

From the corner of her eye, Laura sees a shit eating grin break out on Ashton's face; he's rooting for them, she knows it, but he also finds it extraordinarily amusing that Calum's found someone so similar to himself. both of them said “fuck love” until they found one another. Ashton can see the change in Calum, the way he's stopped saying it in interviews, so now he's just waiting for the day they announce its official.

“It's great to finally meet you.” Mali says ignoring Laura's extended hand and going in for a hug. “I love this dress. The color looks amazing on your skin.” She notes.

“It's great to meet you, too. Calum talks about you so much, it's great to put a face to the name.”

Dinner starts without a hitch. Laura can see why Calum told her to bring drinks; Joy has covered the table in food, cooking every dish she could. After a quick speech from Calum and Joy, everyone digs in. The boys dominate the conversation, Ashton and Luke fighting to give Joy updates of their lives in-between bites.

Luke’s also met a girl this year, he tells Joy all about her, unfortunately, she’s away for the New Year but soon they’ll go to Australia to meet his mom. Ashton goes off about his new project, something about photography or was it film? He’s got so many it’s hard for everyone to keep up from time to time.

“Laura, what do you do for a living?” Joy asks trying to bring her into the conversation.

“Ma, I'm sure she doesn't want to talk about work.”

“It's ok, Cal. I work part-time conducting demographic research at a marketing firm and I work freelance for a few local companies, setting up their online marketing and consulting. I like to write a lot on the side but it'll be a while before that's making me any money.”

“If you keep writing the way you have with Calum, you’re gonna be a songwriter soon enough,” Michael adds hardly lifting his face from his plate.

“Are you a singer?” Mali asks.

“Oh no," She shakes her head. Laura's tone-deaf at best but editing runs in her veins. "I write more poetry than anything but I give feedback to Cal’s writing sometimes.”

Joy gives her a soft smile before Luke grabs back the attention. For once, Laura's grateful for his and Ashton's larger personalities. They feed off one another as they continue telling stories of their last tour and their new album. They miss Joy almost as much as they miss their own mothers. Laura can see why, Joy’s genuine pride at all they've got going on is infectious.

Laura feels herself relax as dinner goes on. All the dialogues slowly bleed into one, allowing her to sit and observe for a moment. Her favorite pastime, watching how enthusiastically people speak about things they’re passionate about. There’s always a glimmer in Luke’s eyes when he speaks about love. Ashton’s smile never breaks from his lips and his gestures get even larger. Mali, much like Calum, smiles wide when she’s happy making her eyes small as happiness takes over her face.

“So how'd you meet?” Mali asks as she finishes a story.

The table falls silent as everyone pauses. Joy and David look inquisitively as Michael snickers. He swears his phone call set their entire relationship in motion.

“I lost my phone outside a coffee shop and this one found it,” Calum explains briefly. Laura nods in agreement but everyone turns to her, waiting for her side.

“Honestly, that's it. I found his phone, held onto it until he came to pick it up, and we kinda just started having coffee together. It had to have been almost a year ago? Right after your birthday. I didn't let him buy me a coffee the day I found it so he came back a week later, and he bought me a coffee then. Let's be honest, he just wanted an excuse to grab the best coffee in this area.” Laura teases rolling her eyes in Calum's direction. “He started joining me while I worked once or twice a week and we unintentionally started a little writing club.”

The entire time Laura speaks, Joy’s eyes are trained on Calum. He holds her hand under the table while he listens attentively, his eyes never leaving her. For years she's been worried, they haven't heard a peep out of Calum about anyone until Laura. There's hardly a peep about her but the few times she's come up there's been excitement in his voice. A little peace comes to her seeing him try in love again.

Ashton and Luke are off after dinner, heading out to some parties. Laura and Calum are up first to volunteer go do the dishes. Laura starts a quiet playlist before taking her usual spot of scrubber beside Calum. Joy runs in occasionally, finding random dishes to hand them. They work slowly on purpose. Calum sings to her and places gentle kisses on her temple as they bask in the silence, enjoying the small amount of time stolen away in the kitchen. The dishes hardly feel like a chore as they playfully lean into one another, a gentle reminder that the other is there.

There's no questioning the feeling they have; it's love but logic says it’s too soon. Neither of them can fully wrap their head around it. There's something different about their love. There's no madness, no crazy proclamations are needed, nobody will be shouting it from rooftops. Much like them, their love is silent, it's found only by those who'll take the time to observe.

“Want to break open that Christmas whiskey and have a quick drink in the backyard?” Laura dries off her hand on a kitchen towel.

“I'd love to,” Calum says grabbing two glasses and a bottle Laura's gifted him as they sneak into the backyard.

Calum hands Laura a drink and watches her in the soft light. She's got a way about her; from the day they met it's kept her coming up in his mind. The girl in the coffee shop with her work scattered about, a simple way of romanticising everyday, and her smile? It's out of this word. The only reason why he left that day was a phone call. Had Michael not called him, where would the conversation have gone? Two, three, four times she came to mind the weekend after they met and Calum knew he had to befriend her. He wasn't sure what she'd be but it wasn't a “What if?” he was going to live with. With nothing but hope, he showed up to the same coffee shop a week later, sat at the same table, and for once let fate take the reigns.

“Happy almost New Years, guy I’m dating,” Laura says taking the glass.

“Happy almost New Year, phone sitter.”

They clink their glasses together. Does she make everyone feel that way? Like they're the center of the universe. She says something but all he can focus on is the need to hold her in his arms, to run his fingertips over her beautiful brown skin. He takes her drink and places it down before pulling her into him. She'll bring up the lack of attention later but, right now, he just wants her close. She wraps her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder, as they sway to the music pouring into the backyard. Unbeknownst to them, Mali and Joy are peaking into the backyard from a window.

“Dad, look. They're absolutely precious.”

“Window’s open, Mal.” Calum says. Laura hides her face in his chest, her face warming quickly.

“Shit. Sorry, guys!”

“Y'all want some whiskey? It's fancy stuff I got Cal for Christmas.” Laura calls into the house.

With that, David’s off the couch and joining them in the backyard. They all settle outside together. Laura dipping her feet into the heated pool and Mali joins her after a moment. They talk about living in London for a while. Laura recalls the winter she spent abroad in London and Mali adds her own humid summer horror stories. Soon Joy joins them too. She takes the cake telling them of the Australian summers of her youth. Summers hot enough that the pavement would melt the soles of her shoes. Her children call her a liar but Joy presses on. David and Karen corroborating her stories until the kids concede.

The stories continue, everyone sitting around listening to David, Joy, and Karen reminisce on years passed. Memories of the kid's childhoods are traded back and forth until they intersect and begin to overlap. Karen and Joy meeting for the first time, the boys starting the band, having their sons follow insane dreams, and the bouts of sadness that can be found in all the joys of their success. Karen and Joy give Laura the whole story or at least they give it a shot as midnight approaches.

Midnight comes and brings with it hugs and kisses, the sounds of clanking of crystal, and explosions off in the distance as they ring in new opportunities. All of them stay outside watching the fireworks go off and chatting for a little longer.

The whole world’s alight but Calum can only see Laura, the world doesn’t matter. This is the New Year but the only thing that makes him feel any different is standing beside him, staring up at the night sky. The whole year came down to a few points and it’s taken him until now to realize the fateful day he dropped his phone was a one. Fate making sure he took pause long enough to see her and, now, he knows he’ll keep an eye out.

“Ok. Ashton had told me you two were cute but she's amazing. Please tell me you're taking her seriously.” Mali says the second Calum returns from walking Laura to her car.

“Mal… please no.”

“Calum, are you serious? You're in love, she's in love, there's basically turtle doves hovering around you.”

“Mali, that's enough.”

Giving her a stern look, he takes the last of the leftovers into the kitchen. He settles onto the kitchen island, helping his mother tidy the kitchen. She sworn by the superstition for years: a tidy house at New Years means a tidy house all year.

Calum knows Mali’s right but fear is louder. Laura terrifies him. Even when they were simply friends, there was so much that began to lead back to her. Writing, happiness, home -- all began to lead back to her and he doesn't want to fight it. He wants to share them with her and it's a feeling that's only gotten stronger in the last few months. But it all boils down to a game of risk. What if he gets too comfortable and she leaves? What if this leads to nothing but new heartbreak? Will this become another reminder to not fall in love?

“Baby, what’s on your mind?” Joy asks, seeing Calums face twist as he runs through all his thoughts.

“How’d you know dad was the one?” Calum asks, settling on the kitchen island as she packs away the last of the leftovers.

“Dad is the one. I know because, in the harder moments, he always stays. It’s easy to love someone through the good but when things get hard and people pull away, when life wedges in all the reasons to leave, and he chooses to stay, that’s when I know he's the right one.”

Calum nods and stays silent for a moment.

“Laura’s something special isn’t she?”

“She is. It just all came so suddenly, I wasn’t expecting it, mum.”

“Sometimes it’s not about what you’re expecting but about what life knows you’re ready for.” Joy says packing away the last of the leftovers. “Goodnight, baby. Happy New Years.”

“Goodnight, mum. I love you.”

---

The next morning Calum’s hardly slept, his mind a jumble of thoughts. He grabs Duke before going out for a cigarette. He's surprised to find Mali already in the backyard with her writing journal.

“Good morning.” She coos down at Duke.

“Good morning." He settles beside her and thinks for a moment, "I'm sorry I was short with you last night.”

“It's fine, Calum.” She tries to wave him off, figuring the issue wasn't her.

“No, it wasn't. I'm sorry. It's just… I just don't know how to speak about Laura.” He shrugs unable to find the words even hours later. “Mali, I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I feel stupid not rushing in. It's like when we started the band, my gut’s just saying it's right.”

“Then what's holding you back?”

“I can't… I don't think I could make it if this…isn't real.” Calum says slowly. Unsure of how to voice his fear.

“Cal, I know it's scary to take a leap but if the feelings that strong, listen to it. Just from what I saw yesterday, I think she's on the same page as you Remember, you'll always have Ash and I, too.”

It's the final push he needs, the most important women in his life have his back. With a sigh, he finds the resolve to see her. He doesn't have a plan but he can't hold all the emotions in any longer. Calum pulls up her contact and dials her number. Knowing full well she's not a morning person, he hopes she's already awake.

“Bueno?”

“Morning, beautiful.” Calum says, rolling his eyes as Mali holds her heart and gives him a silent ‘awwwww’.

“Hola, cariño.”

“What're you doing?”

“Umm writing.” Laura admits, her cheeks burning. She's been caught in that act. In a mad attempt to capture even the smallest part of the way he's making her feel, she's spent the morning writing about him. She's hoping to silence the ruckus in her mind, so much so that she's up early. She's unsuccessful, truthfully, it seems that the only thing that truly silences her thoughts doubles as their source.

“Mind if I come over? Just for a little.”

“Yeah, I have something for you.” Laura admits, rolling her lips between her teeth.

“Do you? Well then I can't show up empty handed, how does some Nautical Bean sound?” He can't help the smile breaking across his face.

Laura laughs lightly, “That sounds freaking amazing and that way I'll hopefully get this done before you get here.”

“Mm, I can't wait to read it. I'll see you soon. Bye.” Calum says as he hangs up.

“Mal, tell-”

“Tell mum and dad you'll be back soon. Yeah, yeah. Go on now!” She shoos.

Before he knows it, Calum's got their coffees and he's running up the steps two at a time. He knocks softly before letting himself in.

“Hi.” Hey says breathlessly.

Every bit of nervousness leaves his body as he sees her sitting on her couch. A large blanket drapes around her shoulders while she works on her laptop. These are his favorite moments to share with her. When both of them quietly working on something, happy not to go at it alone. He settles in beside her, waiting for a moment while she finishes her work.

"G'morning, bub." She says with a smile, placing her laptop down on the coffee table. “Thank you for the coffee”

“Ok now I gotta hold up my end of this deal,” Laura says opening to a page in the small journal before handing it over to him. “I know I said you aren't allowed to read my personal journals but today's an exception,” He wants to say something but the words stick together, creating a lump in his throat. They share a knowing look, her journal is everything to her. It's her best friend holding the pieces she's afraid to share. He's holding a piece of her heart. She gives him a nervous smile as he starts to read an entry from the night previous.

“These hands have held me in another lifetime.

I can't explain it. Not fully, not even in parts.

I don't understand it, yet it is.

The same way birds fly, it looks impossible, improbable, yet they take flight every day so it must be.

I see it just the same with us.

Neruda’s poems make sense, they're clear in a way I've never known.

Paths are simpler as the future comes with one piece set.

I am not afraid to get my heart broken by you.

Maybe it's foolish, stupid, reckless but something in these hollow bones of mine tells me to take flight.

Tell me, do I sound insane?”

Calum reads the paper twice over; his heart feels ready to burst. He clears his throat, finally finding words to say.

"Well, that makes things a lot easier,” Calum says quickly closing the distance between them and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He feels a smile grow on her lips as she pulls away. He shakes his head, knowing he can't possibly top her writing, "Last year, your friendship alone meant the world to me. You were there patiently through the worst parts of it and I don't think I could've asked for anything else from you. I hope I returned the favor through your rougher moments. Through the good and the bad we fell into something more that has been an absolute gift to me. I know it won't always be this smooth. I know there'll be days where things are off, when I'm gone and we both feel alone, where we'll both struggle but that's ok. Even in the bad days, I'll still hope it's you I get to love. I don't want any of this, the bad or the good, with anyone else but you. Te quiero mucho. Did I say that right?”

“Yeah.” She whispers, eyes brimming with tears. Without a second thought, she takes back her journal, and careful tears out the page and hands it to him.

"How does the first of the month sound to you?" Calum asks folding the paper carefully before placing it into his wallet.

"For what?"

"To start celebrating anniversaries?"

"Sounds good." She says pulling him in for another kiss.

126 notes · View notes

talkfastromance4 · 5 years

Text

Earthshine [2]

Part one is here

Playlist is here

When tour was finally over you were able to see Ashton after the longest nine months. Unfortunately you wouldn’t be able to see each other until you met him at the carpet for the awards show. He told you what his outfit would be and you made sure the dress you bought would match his accordingly.

The dress you chose was a long sleeved black sequined dress that stopped at mid-thigh with a peek-a-boo back. This was the first time you’d be seeing your boyfriend in so long you wanted to make sure you looked amazing so you got your hair and nails done in the early morning. You followed a make-up tutorial to a T on YouTube and turned your body every which way in floor length mirror. You didn’t want a hair out of place or smudged mascara anywhere.

After the thousandth time twirling in front of the mirror, you got a text that the car taking you to the awards arrived at your hotel. With one final look you snatch your sequined clutch and rushed out the door. The view to the carpet was spectacular since you’ve never been to Australia but the pretty sights didn’t alter the bundle of nerves in your belly.

Not only would this be the first time you’re seeing Ashton, it would also be the first appearance you’d be making as a couple. With the whole fandom watching. With photographers snapping your photo any chance they got.

“Here we are miss,” the driver says rolling to a stop at the end of the carpet. “Ashton said someone is out there waiting for you and will take you where you need to be.”

“Perfect, thank you,” you smile at him in the rear view mirror. With a deep breath you open the door and exit the vehicle, making sure your legs were crossed (you’d seen magazine articles of sneaky peep shots).

“Y/n?” a short woman with dark hair asks holding two phones in her hand.

“Yes?”

“Follow me, I’m Anya and I’ll be taking you to the checkpoint where you’ll meet Ashton and the others,” she says already spinning in her heels and walking away.

You skip a little to keep up with her and nearly bump into her when she suddenly stops near an ARIA’s backdrop next to some plants.

“I just got notified that the guys just arrived. He’ll meet you here in no less than ten minutes, they need to do photos and small interviews beforehand,” Anya explains.

“Okay. Thank you,” you smile meekly at her before she leaves you all alone next to the plants.

You try to relax your breathing as you take in the controlled chaos all around you and tried not to hyperventilate as celebrities walked past you. Checking your phone you saw it’s been nearly eight minutes and when you glance up you see a familiar face. Your breath gets caught in your throat as Ashton finishes speaking with a reporter and he’s right there looking sensational in all black with a shimmery suit coat. Your dress matched him perfectly.

You roll your lips into your mouth shaking your leg to prevent yourself from darting over to him and leaping into his arms. You watch as he steps back to let Luke talk next when he looks over in your direction and it’s like the world stops. Just like when you first met nearly ten months ago the stars aligned and you felt a wave of peace wash over you as you locked eyes with Ashton.

To your surprise he leaves the boys and reporter and is in front of you in mere seconds, his large hands cupping your face. The familiar warmth and body shave rolled over you and all you felt was happiness as you both stared at each other.

“You’re here, you’re really here,” he murmurs stroking your cheek. Then his hands are removed from your face and instead wrapped around your lower back as he lifts you into a spinning hug.

You squeal in his ear but hug him back with as much enthusiasm and soon you’re both laughing, not even realizing the flashes going off at your small reunion. The butterflies are still in your stomach but you feel whole again with Ashton there. He sets you back on your feet and lets out a deep sigh, his brows pulling together.

“I really want to kiss you,” he confesses caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“I won’t stop you,” you shake your head.

“Even in front of all these people?”

“You’re the only one that matters to me.”

He flashes a smile before connecting his lips to yours and you feel as if your body is filled with air. Your hand plays with his hair at the base of his neck while his hold tightens on your waist. To your dismay he breaks the kiss quickly but then you remember you’re in front of people. People with cameras nonetheless.

The rest of the evening is spent with cheek kisses, hand holding, knuckle kisses from Ashton and finding any excuse to be in physical contact. The boys ended up winning three of the four of their nominations and you cheered as loud as you could each time.

Walking back to your hotel room hand in hand and Ashton’s jacket slung around your shoulders, he breaks the comfortable silence.

“I’m so grateful that you’re here, angel,” he says.

“I am too,” you smile at him pulling your room card out of your purse.

“Honestly, if we didn’t win anything tonight I feel like I have the best prize in the whole world because you’re here with me.”

You feel your cheeks redden as you open the door. You release his hand leaning against the open door and gaze up at him.

“Oh yeah? Would you like to unwrap your prize?” you step back into the room biting your lip.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he groans.

His jacket is soon on the floor with the rest of your clothes following suit. The waning gibbous moon shone through the crack of the curtains as Ashton showed you just how much gratitude he had.

•○•○•

After months and months of planning, the 10 year anniversary party of the magazine you work for has arrived. Since you became Senior Assistant to the editor the job to plan the party fell into your hands. You spent odd hours at the office planning and planning. From the venue all the way to the design on the napkins, it was your responsibility.

It was taking up so much of your time that you fell asleep during a wonderful dinner that Ashton made for you one night.

But now the party is here and Ashton of course accompanied you on your big night. He was completely astounded at how perfect you made everything look and he even felt a little smug when he overheard your coworkers gushing about the whole festivity.

You were beaming the whole night and Ashton was so proud to see you succeed in your element until a man approached you with two drinks in hand. You took the champagne flute graciously. Ashton decided to cut in when he noticed the bloke rubbed your back a little too affectionately.

“There you are love,” Ashton greets and presses a kiss to your forehead before slinging his arm around your shoulders protectively. He eyes up the bloke in front of you who’s about a head shorter than Ashton and has his dark hair slicked back.

“Oh, Ashton this is my assistant—“ it still floored you that you had your own assistant—“Clay Watkins. He helped me with planning.”

“I did no such thing, this was all you,” Clay beams. “I just made sure your notes and payments were organized.”

“Which helped me a ton!” you protest.

“She’s so modest,” Clay grins looking at Ashton.

“I know she is,” he responds a little too coldly. You throw Ashton a look.

For the rest of the evening Ashton was a little too quiet for your liking and you noticed the hard glare he gave Clay whenever he approached you or spoke to you. This wasn’t the time or the place to discuss his jealous tendencies—that you had no idea he possessed—so you tried to keep your attitude light. Even though his behavior was driving you nuts.

“Why were you acting weird tonight?” you finally ask as you set your purse down on the kitchen counter back at the house.

“I don’t like that Clay guy,” Ashton shakes his head, “he was always touching you and trying to tell me things about you. As if I didn’t already know.”

“He’s my assistant, Ash. We spent a lot of time together because of this party.”

“Yeah, working until well past midnight most nights,” he mumbles peeling off his suit jacket.

Your mouth is agape at what his words were insinuating. “You honestly think I would cheat on you?” You can’t believe this. Where was this insecurity coming from?

“No, of course—“

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Babe, I do trust—“

“Clay is my coworker, nothing will ever happen because I love you. But it’s not like I don’t have to deal with girls flaunting themselves at you while you’re halfway around the world,” you scoff and cross your arms.

“That’s different, I don’t work with them.”

“How does that make a difference? And it’s not just out in public, I’ve seen the comments and how other celebrities send you messages on Instagram but I trust you and our relationship. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt me any less.” You swipe away a stray tear that betrayed you in your growing anger and frustration. Ashton has nothing to say, he just looks at his feet.

“I’m tired and my feet hurt. I’m going to bed,” you shake your head kicking your heels off then carry them upstairs to your bedroom.

You feel Ashton’s body against yours as you lay under the covers, his hands wrap around to the front of your stomach, his mouth in the crook of your neck.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t like seeing how Clay acts around you but I shouldn’t have acted the way that I did,” he apologizes, “my jealousy got the better of me.” His breath tickles your ear and you roll onto your back to look up at him.

“Thank you for apologizing, now you got a little taste of what I went through while you were gone,” you say meekly.

“I wish I could stop it. I’ve only got eyes for you, love.” He kisses your nose then the corner of your mouth before sealing his love for you in a kiss.

“Ditto,” you smile on his lips and you both hold each other comfortably.

The third quarter moon shines down on you, the forgiveness pushing away the earlier resentment and jealousy. Like the moon, the light of your love cast away any impending darkness.

•○•○•

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since you lost your baby.

You and Ashton were elated when the unexpected joy appeared in your lives. The thought of a little bit of you and a little bit of him had made an itty bitty baby was so surreal you couldn’t help but smile each time you touched your stomach.

Since that terrible day you moved around Ashton like a planet lost in orbit. The light in your eyes drained, the color in your cheeks paled and you barely spoke. Because if you spoke, the terrible thoughts of how it’s your fault would take over and you’d have no choice but to believe it..

Ashton tried to console you on numerous occasions, but he didn’t know exactly how to help. He couldn’t even imagine what you were going through but he never left your side. When/if you finally released your hurt and anger he would be there. If you needed a punching bag he would be there.

He hated seeing you this way. Then one night when he came home he heard Tom Waits blasting from upstairs. He found you leaning against the bed on the floor, your face was red with dried tears on your cheeks and shirt.

“Baby,” he says gently and sits next to you. He’s upset he wasn’t here to help you when you finally released your pent up pain.

Without a word, you crawl onto his lap folding yourself into his warm embrace. His arms hold onto you protectively, his touch eased some of the aching and doubt you’d been feeling the last few weeks.

“What can I do?” he asks a little helpless.

“Just hold me,” you whisper into his neck. You close your eyes and concentrate on his breathing, you can feel his pulse on your lips.

Ashton tangles his fingers through your hair and hums along to the song. You cried yourself dry you were exhausted. You wanted to release your pain on your own and completely surrender to it so you’d be one step closer to healing.

You and Ashton stayed like that until the moon rose in the darkened violet sky. Your pain and sadness waned with the crescent of the moon, the light illuminating hope.

•○•○•

The candles were lit, the flowers were displayed perfectly about the room and the violins were singing softly, the echo around the room was angelic. A quiet hum from the guests filled the warm space as they watched Ashton and his groomsmen take their place at the end of the aisle. He stood proudly and confidently even though his heart was racing in anticipation for you.

The string quartet began to play and your bridesmaids glided down the aisle. Ashton began to tap his fingers on the back of his other hand, a habit he formed from playing drums to help calm him down.

The quartet transitions into the song you’ll be walking down the aisle to and Ashton’s never been more nervous and excited in his life. You shared the same sentiments on the other side of the double doors.

The candles and flowers took your breath away as soon as the doors opened, but you only paid attention to them for a moment until you locked eyes with Ashton and the whole world stopped. The stars aligned just like the first time you met in the coffee shop four years ago.

You both beamed as you made your way to the love of your life, tears springing in your eyes as Ashton wiped his own tears with his thumbs. He looked amazing with the glow of the candles behind him, it was like your own little universe with the small flames.

After the ceremony and pictures (so many pictures) it was time for dinner and the reception. Throughout the course of the meal the glasses were clinked with knives and forks over a dozen times and each time you kissed each other happily.

“It’s time for our first dance, wife,” he grins holding his hand out to you.

The song ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ begins to play as soon as you’re pulled against his chest. Looks of love and elation passed between you two and he kept murmuring how gorgeous you look. Photos and video captured your first dance as husband and wife, but when you were in each other’s arms it was like you were the only two people in the world.

“You’re my husband,” you can’t help but giggle at the realization.

“For better or for worse, angel,” he smirks tightening his hold on your waist.

Some things are meant to be

Ashton spins you away from him, your dress twirling beautifully. The music halts for a perfect moment, then when Kina Grannis sings again

So, take my hand, take my whole life, too

He holds out his hand for you to take and he spins you right back into his chest. The crowd awed and oohed at the beautiful moment, both of you smiled before he leans down and presses his lips to yours. More cheers are heard but you keep kissing him until the song is over.

When the party was over and you kissed the last guest goodbye, you and Ashton retired to your honeymoon suite in the hotel. He looked delicious with his white shirt unbuttoned, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and his hair tousled.

Once the door snapped shut behind you, his long fingers were already undoing the buttons along your back, his lips sucking on your neck as he did so. His mouth followed his fingers and when the last button was undone, your pretty white gown billowed to the ground like a cloud. He spun you around by your thighs so you were facing him, your hands immediately brushing through his hair.

“What’s this?” he asks raising his eyebrows as he traces the written word ‘new’ below your bellybutton.

“Well, you know how I have to have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?”

“Yeah . . .” he nods slowly still staring at the word. You could practically see the gears in his mind trying to decipher what this means.

“Well,” you sigh, “my something new is inside me. I’ll be twelve weeks tomorrow, Ashton.”

“Are you saying you’re--?” he looks up at you with wide eyes.

“I’m pregnant,” you nod. “My doctor says I was in the clear on week eight but I wanted to make sure before I told you.”

“Woo!” He yelps excitedly and lifts you into his arms. Your legs wrap around his waist and he tosses you onto the bed attaching his lips to yours greedily. You’re laughing around his mouth at his enthusiasm then he looks at you in awe. “This is the best wedding day ever.” He lowers himself down to your belly and kisses the temporary ink, his lips lingering on each letter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Shh, I was talking to little pip,”

“Little pip?” you laugh brushing his hair from his forehead.

“Little pipsqueak,” he shrugs and kisses your belly again. Now that Ashton knows the slight roundness of your tummy seems more prominent now.

“Are you happy?”

Ashton hovers above you, his hands on either side of your face. “I am the happiest man in the world,” he gives you a hard kiss then his eyes turn dark with lust. “Now, I want to make you feel as good as I do.”

His finger slips below the white lace of your panties, you moan from his touch and the curl of his finger. Somehow through the work of his magic fingers, you push his shirt from his body and he attaches his mouth to your neck.

You make love under the new moon, you can barely see the outline but it’s a sign of new beginnings. You and Ashton have gone through many moon phases in your relationship, each one powerful and significant in its own way to bring you this very moment. Your love began with the moon and within that love you created the most perfect miracle.

With the sunshine from him and the moonlight from you, your little baby is your own earthshine. Your love will forever glow.

#ashton irwin #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin smut #luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagine #luke 5sos #luke 5 seconds of summer #calum hood #calum 5 sos #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum hood imagines #calum hood smut #5sos #michael clifford #michael clifford imagines #michael 5sos

58 notes · View notes

morningfears · 6 years

Text

Get Back Up

Rating: PG-13 (For blood, violence, domestic abuse, language)

Request: Part two of Fighter | This is formatted a bit different so, just, bare with me until the end, yeah? (This includes depictions domestic abuse! Please be aware of that! There’s blood and violence included!!!!!)

Word Count: 4k

The knock at his front door is so quiet that Ashton is half-convinced he imagined it as he pauses in the hallway of his apartment. He waits for a moment, quiet as he can be so he won’t miss it, before he shuffles toward the front door as the knock is repeated. His body feels heavy, his knuckles need wrapping, and his head hurts from the hit that Calum managed to land during their final round of sparring. He wants nothing more than to lie in his too-small bathtub, soak his body in the awful smelling bath salts you insist will make him feel better, and forget about his day. But when he peeks through the peep hole and sees you standing there on the other side, tears clinging to your lashes and blood soaking through your t-shirt, a surge of adrenaline floods his body and he wrenches the door open as fast as he can.

Neither of you speak as Ashton guides you through his apartment to the bathroom. You’ve been in this position far too many times to count at this point, have had to have him stitch you up more often than you’d like to remember, and each time is worse than the last. Each wound is deeper, each one requires more time and a steadier hand to sew up, and each time is harder than the last.

You can’t bring yourself to look at Ashton as he tugs your t-shirt up and over your head. You can’t bring yourself to lift your head as he grabs the first aid kit from beneath his sink. You can’t bring yourself to do anything other than stare at the blood on your hands as he grabs the antiseptic he’d bought just for you (the one he used on himself had an ingredient your skin didn’t agree with) and begins cleaning.

Ashton works in silence as he cleans the gash running down the length of your side. It takes him ten agonizing minutes to stitch it up, two minutes to bandage it, and another three minutes to finally break the tense silence threatening to suffocate you both. “You’re going to have to throw away that t-shirt and bra,” he sighs as he reaches for the clean shirt he’d been planning on putting on after his bath, “take a shower and put this on. I’ll call Cal, see if his girl has something you can borrow to wear home tomorrow so Captain Dickhead won’t lose what’s left of his mind. Unless you’re not going home?”

When you don’t respond, don’t indicate that you’ve heard him, Ashton has to force himself not to storm out of the bathroom like a petulant child. You’ve been down this road so many times before, he doesn’t understand why he was expecting this time to be any different. So, instead of trying to get through to you yet again, he nods his head and places the t-shirt on your lap. “Your shampoo and body wash are still in the shower. You know where the towels are. I’ll make us something to eat,” he sighs as he makes his way out of the bathroom.

As he steps into the hallway, he takes one final look at you before he sighs and shuts the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind him and his footsteps disappear down the hall, you fall apart. The tears that you’ve been holding back since the moment you stumbled out of your apartment spill down your cheeks and it takes every ounce of strength left in your body not to sob outright as you stare at the familiar t-shirt sitting on your lap. The wound on your side stings, you can feel it throb with every breath that you take, but there are too many thoughts running through your mind to focus on just one new scar.

You know, in the rational part of your brain, that you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the scars that litter your body from the blows your boyfriend has landed over the past two years. You don’t deserve the mental anguish that threatens to rip you apart from the inside thanks to the verbal abuse he hurls at you with more venom than the deadliest of snakes. You don’t deserve the terror that washes over you every time that he enters your shared apartment.

You deserve so much better. And you know that.

But the thing about abuse is that it is never rational. And leaving is never as easy as it sounds. Although the rational part of your brain tells you that you deserve better the irrational part of your brain, the part that is so worn from the continuous abuse suffered at the hands of your boyfriend who was once your Prince Charming, tells you that this is exactly what you deserve.

That part of your brain echoes the verbal abuse you’ve heard repeated for nearly two years. It tells you that no one else will ever love you, that no one else will ever even consider you as a romantic partner. It tells you that Noah is doing you a favor by being with you. It tells you that you’re a fuck-up, that you deserve the abuse he hurls at you because you can’t do anything right.

It repeats the things that he’s forced into your head over the past two years and sends a fresh wave of tears running down your cheeks.

You want nothing more than to listen to Ashton and leave him. You want to leave, to get away from Noah and live your life without fear, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. Rationally, you know that any number of your friends would willingly open their homes to you. Rationally, you know that any one of them would volunteer to get your things from your apartment just so you won’t have to face him. You know that any one of them would provide a statement to help you get a restraining order against him.

But, rationally, you know that whatever you do won’t be enough.

You know that the visible scars will fade and the mental scars might lessen with the proper therapy but you’ve read stories about women who try to leave. You’ve read stories of men killing their significant others, read stories about abusers lying dormant until their former partner has somewhat healed and then returning to ruin their lives. You’ve heard stories from your own mother, seen the permanent damage abuse does firsthand, and you can’t bring yourself to leave.

The unknowns that come with packing your bags and leaving Noah behind almost scare you more than the unknowns regarding what will happen to you if you stay. However, that doesn’t stop you from feeling ashamed every time you look at your friends, the ones who know exactly what you’re dealing with.

You should be stronger than this. You should’ve seen the warning signs before you even started dating Noah. You should’ve trusted your friends when they told you something was off about it.

But Noah was so attractive and so sweet in the beginning. He seemed so perfect, like a dream come true. And, most importantly, he was interested in you. You were starved for romantic attention, you wanted nothing more than someone to love you unconditionally, make you their first choice, so you jumped at the chance to be with Noah. And when the relationship started to go south, you kept reminding yourself of that.

If you weren’t with Noah, you would be alone.

As painful as the bruises decorating your body were in the beginning, you thought that being alone would hurt even more. But now, as you stand beneath the scalding water of Ashton’s shower, you think that being alone doesn’t sound so bad.

“Are you okay?”

A loud squeak of surprise passes your lips at Ashton’s unexpected question as you fumble for the faucet. Ashton apologizes quietly and you can vaguely make out his outline behind the shower curtain as you wring out your hair. “I’m fine,” you breathe, just loud enough to be heard, “I’m getting out. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he sighs as he hands you a towel when you nudge the shower curtain out of the way. He frowns at the sight of the new bruises decorating your skin and takes mental stock of the fresh pink scars lettering your skin. “Is anything broken or sprained?” he questions as he focuses on the area he’d stitched up.

“No,” you sigh as you wrap the towel around your body as tightly as you can stand and step out of the shower. “I’m okay, Ash,” you promise him as you drop your head to stare at the tile floor, “I’m sorry for interrupting your night. I know you just finished training.”

“Don’t,” he shakes his head, his tone stern as he stops you from apologizing further, “it doesn’t matter. You’re never interrupting. I’m here for you whenever you need me, okay? Here. I called Cal, they stopped by while you were in the shower.” He takes the t-shirt he’d left for you from the counter and hands it to you along with a set of underwear and a pair of shorts. “You can change out of the t-shirt before you leave but you should keep the shirt as loose as possible for right now. I made pancakes, so. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Ashton leaves you alone with your thoughts once again but this time, you rub your eyes harshly before you shake your head and will yourself not to dwell. You tug on the clothing, thankful that it fits, and don’t look back as you leave your bloody clothing in Ashton’s trashcan. True to his word, Ashton is waiting in the kitchen with two plates of pancakes and the bottle of syrup waiting for you to take.

“I don’t have any chocolate chips,” he informs you as you take a seat beside him and he hands you a bottle of water, “I haven’t been grocery shopping yet.”

“This is already more than enough, Ash,” you assure him. “Thank you. You shouldn’t have to do any of this for me.”

“Please don’t,” Ashton breathes with a shake of his head, “please. I know you can’t help it, I know you’re going to no matter what I say, but please don’t feel guilty for asking me for help. You’re my best friend, yeah? I love you. I’m going to be here as long as you’ll let me. Just, keep letting me, okay?”

Ashton accepts the silent nod of your head as your agreement and drops the subject. His apartment is quiet around the two of you, the only sound is that of forks scraping plates, and you’re thankful. It gives you the time you need to pluck up the courage to whisper, “I don’t want to go home.”

Ashton nearly drops his fork as he turns his gaze to you. No matter how many times he asked and no matter how much he knew you wanted to, you’d never openly admitted to wanting to leave. And Ashton isn’t quite sure what to say other than, “Then stay here.”

Before you can respond, Ashton regains his composure and begins rambling. “You can stay here. I have an extra room and we can find a bed or you can take mine and I’ll take the couch. Rent’s paid for as long as I keep working in the shop so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not usually here much but you can come to the shop or to the gym with me so you don’t have to be alone when you get off work, if you want. I’ll go get your stuff, tell Captain Dickhead to fuck off. I’ll help you however I can. Just, don’t go back, please.”

“Okay,” you nod, although you’re terrified of what’s going to happen now.

Ashton blinks, stunned, before he nods slowly. “Okay?” he smiles, “yeah. Okay, great. Do you want to write him a note or something? I know that might be easier for you than calling and I’m not letting you be alone with him.”

“No, I’m going to call,” you sigh as you drop your fork. “I don’t want to but I feel like I need to.”

Ashton nods in understanding, although he doesn’t really get it. However, if it’ll make you happy and gets you away from that asshole, he’s more than willing to go along with it. “Is there anything you need tonight that I don’t have? I can run to the shop down the street and grab it for you.” When you shake your head, he nods. “Okay, good. Uh, I have to work in the morning but I’m off by noon. I really, really want you to wait for me to get home before you call him, okay? I’ll order takeout after you call and we can watch shitty television and just stay on the couch.”

You nod but say nothing. Ashton knows that he can’t be picky, though. This is a massive step in the right direction and he’s not going to make you second guess it. So, instead of dwelling on it, the two of you finish your dinner and he make sure you’re comfortable in his bed (“If you think I’m letting you take the couch, you’re wrong. Until we get a bed for you, I’m taking the couch.”) As he turns out the light, he reminds you, “I won’t be here when you wake up, okay? I have to head in early. But I’ll be back by noon. If you need me, I’m just downstairs. Please, wait until I get back to call Captain Dickhead, okay? I love you, good night.”

True to his word, when you awake after a night of less than restful sleep, Ashton is gone. However, you find a note on the kitchen counter that says, “Have to run pick up a piece for John. I’ll still be back by noon, with Mexican for lunch. If you need anything, I have my phone and the guys will be in and out of the shop all day. Don’t hesitate to call one of us, okay? I’ll see you later!”

With a sigh, you take a seat on the couch and stare at your cell phone. It’s still off, just the way you’d left it after leaving your apartment, and you know that you should listen to Ashton and wait but you can’t help yourself. You power on the device and stare at the flood of messages from Noah.

“Where are you?”

“You’re with him, aren’t you?”

“Come home now.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Just come home. We’ll talk.”

“Come home, dammit!”

You clear your notifications and don’t bother to open the message thread before you tap the phone icon and move to clear your voicemail inbox. However, before you can clear the inbox, an incoming call interrupts you. You stare at Noah’s name on the screen and contemplate your options. You know that you shouldn’t answer, you should listen to Ashton and wait for him to get home, but you can’t help yourself. You want to get it over with while you still have the nerve. You want to tell Noah that it’s done, that you’re not coming home, and not have Ashton listen to the way he talks to you.

So, you answer the call.

“You’re with him, aren’t you?” be accuses, his even tone sending a jolt of panic up your spine. “What have I told you about being with him?”

You bite at your lip, debating what to say, before you clench your eyes shut and rush, “I’m done. I’m not coming back. It’s over. We’re over. Bye!”

You can hear his shouting as you pull the phone away from your ear and hastily press the ‘end call’ button. Without even locking the device, you toss it away from you and stare at it as if it was poisonous. You don’t want to think about what’s going to happen now, don’t want to think about the future, but you can’t bring yourself to search for a distraction.

Instead, you will yourself to think about absolutely anything else; what color will you paint the living room when you get your own place, what kinds of clothes will you buy for yourself now that Noah isn’t telling you what to wear, where will become your new takeout spot? The options are endless and you find yourself getting lost in them until a knock at the front door pulls you back to reality.

In a moment of naiveté, or maybe it’s wishful thinking, you assume that the person on the other side of the door is one of the boys coming to check up on you. You assume that it might even be Ashton, back early and wanting to surprise you. So, without hesitation, you throw open the front door and feel your blood run cold at the person who stands before you. Although you try your hardest to shut the door as quickly as you can, you’re not fast enough.

Noah stops you from slamming the door by jamming his foot between the door and the frame. He slams it open, knocking you back, and charges into the apartment. You swear you can see steam pouring out of his ears as he takes in the sight of you standing in Ashton’s too-big t-shirt (the one that covers your shorts) in the middle of Ashton’s living room.

Your friendship with Ashton had always been a source of contention between the two of you. Noah was always insecure about the friendship, jealous of your closeness with Ashton, and he forbid you from seeing him time after time. However, you never listened. Ashton was your best friend, he was the person who could pick you up from your lowest lows, and he wouldn’t let you leave him without a fight. So, you kept seeing him as carefully as you could. And when Noah found out that Ashton was the one you turned to after he’d gotten particularly rough, he’d lost his mind.

That was the first night Ashton begged you to go to the emergency room, the first night that he’d been truly worried that Noah had hurt you worse than either of you realized, and it was the first time Ashton begged you to leave. He’d asked, offered you the help you needed to leave, but he’d never outright begged. That night, however, he was on his knees in front of you, his hands gripping yours, and begging with tears in his eyes.

When you left the next morning, you were certain he was going to end the friendship then and there. Now, you almost wish he had. He wouldn’t have to deal with you, with the hostile asshole that came with you, and he wouldn’t have to patch you up like a wounded child. He would be free to live his life.

But, as Noah continues to back you into a corner, you don’t dwell on the thought. You do your best to get away from him, to get out the door and down the stairs to the shop full of people beneath you, but you can’t. His hands are on your arms, gripping the bruises he left the night before, as he hurls accusations at you. He accuses you of sleeping with Ashton, of cheating on him the entire relationship, and you want to deny it but every time you open your mouth, he lands another blow to your body.

Noah continues yelling, his voice carrying through the small apartment, as he leaves more and more marks on your skin. This time is different, there is no sense of restraint or any semblance of sanity. Instead, there is only anger. He’s usually done by now, telling you to clean yourself up and get out of his sight, but even though you’re dripping blood and can no longer stand on your own, he doesn’t stop.

He doesn’t stop when you scream at the searing pain of him cracking a rib. He doesn’t stop when you scream at the blinding pain of him slamming your head into the wall. He doesn’t stop when you claw at the fingers around your throat, desperately trying to pry his hands away before he actually kills you. He doesn’t stop when you succumb to the lack of oxygen and overwhelming pain coursing through your veins.

He only stops when two sets of hands yank him away and a third lands a blow to his nose.

Ashton wants to keep punching, wants to keep going until he’s worse off than you, but he doesn’t let himself. He focuses on getting you up and out of the apartment, on getting you to the hospital, on making sure you’re going to be alright, because as Calum drives the two of you to the hospital, Ashton is terrified. He doesn’t know if you’ll be alright. He doesn’t know if you’ll make it. Your face is a bloody mess, you have multiple broken bones, and he’s afraid that the final few blows Noah took were enough to do permanent damage.

“I never told her,” he cries to Calum as soon as you’re wheeled away and out of his line of sight, “I never told her that I loved her as more than a friend. I wanted her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She deserves so much better than this.” He pauses for a moment before he breathes, “Promise me that you’ll take care of her.”

“Do it yourself,” Calum urges, knowing the direction this conversation was taking, “don’t stoop to his level. Love her unconditionally, take care of her. Be there for her. You can’t do that in jail.”

“I’ve never felt like this, Cal,” Ashton breathes as he stares at the white wall in front of him, “I want to kill him. I’m not being funny or dramatic. I feel that so genuinely and I’m terrified.”

“Channel it,” Calum rushes, “channel it into fighting, channel it into taking care of her and protecting her and making sure she’s alright. Channel it into making sure no one else does that to her again. Because she’s going to be okay and she’s going to need you by her side to make sure she stays okay.”

“How are you so sure?” Ashton questions, turning his head to face Calum. “How are you so sure that she’s going to be okay?”

“You love her,” he shrugs, as if it’s the most obvious thing on the planet, “she has to be okay. You’re going to do whatever you can to make sure of it. And if the situation was reversed, I know she would do the same for you.”

“Did you hear that?” Calum questions, nudging your shoulder to pull you out of your memories. When you blink at him, he smiles softly. “Ash is out of surgery. He’s not awake yet but it’s not as bad as they originally thought. There’s a good chance he’ll be awake in the morning.” Calum frowns at the unconvinced look your face and sighs as he pulls you into a hug. “He’s going to be okay. You know that, right?”

When you frown and ask, “How are you so sure? How are you so sure that he’s going to be okay?”

Calum can’t help but smile sadly. “You love him,” he shrugs, as if it’s the most obvious thing on the planet, “he has to be okay. You’re going to do whatever you can to make sure of it. When the situation was reversed, he did the same for you.”

With that, Calum grabs your hand and guides you to the small room Ashton had been placed in. He’s never taken a fall that he hasn’t gotten back up from and as you stare at him, tears slipping down your cheeks, you know that this time won’t be any different. He’s a fighter and he’ll always get back up.

Author’s Note: The italics at the end? That’s present day. The rest is all a flashback! I wanted to finish this before I did anything else so, I’m sorry there’s no Luke birthday post!

#ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin imagine #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer imagines #5sos preferences #5sos preference #5sos blurbs #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin smut #5 seconds of summer preference #5 seconds of summer preferences #5 seconds of summer fanfic #ashton irwin x reader #mine

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seenashwrite · 5 years

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Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Lifetime & Hallmark Original Christmas Movies, So You Don’t Have To (2018)

(a.k.a. - Nash Records Her Viewings Of Lifetime & Hallmark Original Christmas Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold)

ETA Jan 2019: This adventure is now moving to @seenashblog, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for awhile yet #bless my heart

Last Addendum, I Swear

But I caught one this morning called “Home For Christmas Day” that sailed into a 5/5 with little effort. Here’s a mash-up of two “official” summaries I found, and that’s all I am giving you:

An Army widow worries about her teenage daughter when she meets a soldier from the town's military base & starts to spend time with him during the two weeks before he ships out. The mother wants to spare her daughter the pain of losing someone she loves in action, so she tries to get her daughter to break it off with the soldier before she becomes attached. Little do they know they are about to learn important lessons of the heart and that taking chances can make this Christmas one they will cherish forever.

All 4 leads (mom, diner owner, daughter, soldier) are good actors (the daughter really impressed me), and they help overcome some dialogue that could’ve been less formulaic. A highlight is that Kristin Chenoweth’s “Home On Christmas Day”, a *phenomenal* song and one that has permanent residence on my holiday playlist, is featured and sung by a character who - wait for it - can actually sing and it was pleasant to hear, they kept it simple, and it’s the better for it. The movie could’ve gone Velveeta and shmoop and severe angst fast, but it didn’t. You’ll be torn on the ending, some of you wishing they’d gone the other direction. You’ll be sweetly tearful either way.

So, the new official rec list for the ones that are worth your time?

(5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark)

(5 of 5) Love At The Christmas Table (Danica McKellar, Lea Thompson - Lifetime)

(5 of 5) Home For Christmas Day (Catherine Bell, Victor Webster - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Mingle All The Way (Jen Lilley, Brant Daugherty, Lindsay Wagner - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) A Princess for Christmas (Sam Heughan, Katie McGrath, Sir Roger Moore - Hallmark)

And don’t forget: never, ever watch “My Christmas Love”.

Past entries below

Special (Royal) Addendum!

In a shocking turn of events, I’m about to recommend a [gulp] prince-and-princess-based plot Hallmark movie. I’m out-of-pocket a lot this week, but spotted this one randomly and needed to tell you about it, in case you had a chance to catch it. Because surprise, surprise - from some pretty impressive music for a TV movie, to some solid acting (even from the precocious children!), to a decent script, the most off-putting thing is the title. Possibly the best thing? It’s from 2011 but you may recognize the leading man:

So as a reminder, here’s my overall recommendation list for Christmas movies that are actually worth your time...

(5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark)

(5 of 5) Love At The Christmas Table (Danica McKellar, Lea Thompson - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Mingle All The Way (Jen Lilley, Brant Daugherty, Lindsay Wagner - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) A Princess for Christmas (Sam Heughan, Katie McGrath, Sir Roger Moore - Hallmark)

...and the newest addition is the one in question, I’ll give you the scoop.

Google tells me that this was marketed in the UK as “A Christmas Princess”, but I don’t find that any better - I hate movies that blow their wad in the title. Let us not forget the Hallmark rule (and I am certain by this point it IS a rule) that “Christmas” must be in the title. So why not just “Christmas at _ Manor”? That implies aristocracy of some sort, it’s just.... blaaaargh, this channel. Wait hey, look what google told me!

* I swear on my stories that I did NOT see that before I wrote this draft *

Interestingly the version that’s on You Tube is called the latter, so... ya got me. But legit, I am shocked that when you click the “info” on the TV, it says it’s only got 2 stars. It’s higher on IMdB. Probs high ratings, too. I’m not looking it up.

Right. So. Heughan is a *phenomenal* actor, there’s nothing more to say there, and McGrath is high above average for not just typical Hallmark fare, but TV in general. I knew I recognized her, and turns out she was in the short-lived TV series Dracula about 4 years ago (of which I watched the pilot and peaced out), and google tells me she plays Lena Luthor on Supergirl presently (which I don’t watch), but where my lightbulb went off was that she’s the chick who inexplicably got yanked away by a pterodactyl and eaten by the water dino in Jurassic World. She is a gorgeous woman whose hair is made to look atrocious and it’s Hallmark tradition, so nobody’s surprised. One thing is that you’re going to find that on occasion (and it’s few-and-far between) she over-enunciates some words and will rush random parts of sentences, and google tells me she’s Irish, so I get it. A word will sneak in once in a blue moon, but it’s not grating, not in the least, but it’s there. Anyway.

Roger Moore is solid, of course, and points to him for not slipping into Bond mode, and also for not playing it too gruff. The teen boy is a great actor as well - he can pull an angst face and verbalize frustration without it going petulant teen, which is so refreshing I cannot even. And the little girl has a slight Shirley Temple thing going on, holds her own with the adults. Thankfully the servants are all charming and several funny and endearing moments happen because of and with/about/surrounding them. (The narrator is the head butler, too - and fear not, it only happens at the top and at the finale, and are lovely bookends.)

Okay, the story: it kicks off with narration, and it is very well done and cheeky - “Once upon a time in a land called Buffalo there lived a girl names Jules...” Jules --- ::sigh:: just call her Julie, ffs --- has gotten custody of her niece and nephew (about 6 and 14, respectively) after their parents (the Mom being Jules’ sister) died earlier that year. We find her in the midst of a shitstorm because she got fired from her job (and it’s a *very* cool job), the older kid shoplifted a game, and the girl drove away their babysitter with some pranks - she’s also apparently addicted to Doritos. Clearly they’re just processing, and high props to all involved for not taking it over the top. They’re just the right amount of troubled to where it’s not eyeroll-worthy on either the bratty end or the angsty end. She looks to be about 12 years older than the boy, so that’s another reason he’s probably not so with this arrangement, but she’s not harsh with him, she actually treats him like a person and tells him why his behavior is out-of-line and punishes appropriately, reminds him he’s not the only one who lost them, doesn’t go all authoritarian on him, another pleasant change in typical fare.

We find out that their dad was the son of a Duke of some wherever over in Jolly Ol’ - and THANK YOU SCREENWRITERS for keeping it simple and not making up some ridiculously-named kingdom tucked somewhere on the planet - but he gave up the title to marry a “commoner” and moved to America. Still, they get invited to the manor (”castle”? Didn’t look castle to me, but all right) and the brother of the Dad is Heughan’s character, Ashton, with whom Jules has some chemistry, yo. They get us there fast, about 12 minutes, and again against Hallmark type, those 12 weren’t crammed to the gills with backstory and prep work, because that stuff’s gonna unfold, we’ve got an hour twenty, we’re fine.

Heughan happens to technically be a prince (the faux land this must be for isn’t mentioned, again, bless you screenwriter) and it is easily explained without unneeded detail by saying “It’s through my mother’s side”. So I don’t know if that means the kids are lil’ princes and princesses because was Dad technically a prince? Or was he a half-brother? My point is, the Prince-Princess thing was unneeded - “A Duchess For Christmas” would’ve been fine, Hallmark. I promise. And maybe that’s what the writer intended, seeing as how his working script title had nothing about Princess in it. So it was a weird “Huh?” thing that happens a decent ways into the story, so it’s like....????

The rest of the movie goes how you think, but it’s got some genuinely charming moments, and it’s *entertaining*. See, Hallmark? You can take a basic storyline and not fill it with teenage-level angst, then dip it marzipan and roll it in sprinkles. Keep. It. Simple. Let the actors do their jobs. The hijinks aren’t over-the-top, the kids act and speak like actual kids - there’s actually a few lines out of Jules that I side-eyed more. Some of the music was too cutesy-quirky for my taste, but overall, like I said above, Night. And. Day. from the majority.

The dress they put her in for the ball at the end is absolutely appropriate, it is lovely and isn’t overdone (hair, minus the clip in it, looks awful, of course) and - realistically! - it’s different from the other ladies’ without being drastically so. And also realistically, the crowd isn’t gawking because she’s now the best thing in the room, they’re gawking because a commoner is amongst them.

Here’s why this gets a 4/5, and none of these are deal-breakers, but there’s just too many to justify a 5/5:

There is a dance scene that is embarrassing for everyone. But! I’ll be honest - their laughing looked real, I bet behind-the-scenes they’d gotten tickled at something, and Heughan throws all fucks out the window at one point, and bless him, because he saved it - the both of them had enough rhythm that it wasn’t altogether hide-your-eyes worthy; the better choice would’ve been to do the waltz he was teaching her to a more modern song, different tempo than the classic (I’m going blank on it, I feel like it’s the Blue Danube, but that’s irrelevant, anyway you’ll recognize it), throw in some relaxed improv steps. Snaps also to Heughan for faking playing violin well - and snaps to the director for some clever close ups that never quiiiiite give you a look at his (again, props - moving) fingers.

Second thing - the not-quite-climax set-up. I’ve not spoiled the others on the rec list, so I won’t spoil this one, either, but at about a half-hour til the end, the script goes with a trope and I just rolled my eyes. Granted, it didn’t go melodramatic and they saved it with a touch of a twist, and it is genuinely sweet. Still. Didn’t have to go the full distance, could’ve been taken care of while she was prepping to do what she did. I know that’s cryptic, you’ll get what I mean when you watch.

Third thing - the side-plot of the whoever-she-is Duchess or Lady something that expects Heughan’s character to marry her is WAAAAAAAY too much. And it’s the actress, it’s not the lines. Her choices of delivery are just bush league, even I know better and the only thing I’ve ever acted in is a third grade play. I was a Lucy VanPelt-type character (quelle surprise) and I kicked ass.

Other things: that whole “Huh? Prince, what?” stuff, and I could’ve done with a touch less shmoop ending, but the narration saved it.

Okay! There you go! A good princess movie! The rest are garbage.

And never, ever watch “My Christmas Love”.

Love, Nash.

#11

This is it, folks, last entry. And by "folks" I mean the maybe three who are reading these, and thanks, hope you've enjoyed. But the ratio of work-to-response isn't motivating enough to continue, plus the season's about over, and besides, this has covered in the ballpark of 20-ish movies. I think. I can't be bothered to count. So here's the last speed run, I'll cover some more than others, and I'll also note one final time my Yes You Should Watch These 4-and-5 Star Rec List with any updates at the end, as well.

You'll still get a post all its own (with screencaps to paint the full picture and an official, free link of where to watch) on the fanfic-y-est ickiest of all Christmas movies ever. It is too precious for words. I can't not write about it. And on top of that, I wrote an actual fic based on the same premise, because per usual I have seen a travesty that had potential, worked it over, then said:

#humbly

And without further adieu: here's your speed round of the ones to avoid at all cost (the 1 and 2 stars) and a handful that were all right, I thought, but when it comes down to it are a matter of taste and you may love them (the 3 stars). Oh, and spoilers in several places, because it's not going to matter because on tons of these you'll either (a) guess it yourself or (b) shouldn't waste your time.

I’m saving you, here.

Christmas in Angel Falls (Rachel Boston [a-gaaaaaaaain] - Hallmark)

"Guardian angel Gabby Messenger is sent to the town of Angel Falls to restore its Christmas spirit."

::sighs::

No.

As predicted, it was pure schmaltz (my note actually says "suicide by schmaltz") and the usually charming Boston was annoying as hell.

1/5 stars . A Royal New Year's Eve (Jessy Schram - Hallmark)

This one was so grating. There's a prince, she's a fashion designer, it has a bit of a Cinderella undertone (if you watch it you'll see what I mean, there's some boss as pseudo-stepmother and friend as fairy godmother and dressmaking and hidden identity action sprinkled in) and know right now that the prince's accent is inexcusable, it is ear-burning. I looked the guy up because I had to know his nationality, to make sure that I wasn't off the beam and that this was just some weird subset of fill-in-the-bank accent to which I was unfamiliar, but nah, he's from goddamn Milwaukee. That a dialect coach or the director or SOMEBODY didn't speak up is embarrassing, I hope he realizes now and doesn't have this on his reel. And as always, Jessy Schram is dialed to 11 on her typical coked-up mouse with flippy hair routine.

1/5 stars . Four Christmases and a Wedding (Nobody you'll know - Lifetime)

What? Huh? So the premise is he just keeps leaving for work and showing up again at the town Christmas festival with the shitty prom that happens afterward that they call a "ball" and I assure you it is not. They also kinda blew their wad in the title. Also-also, she's Perfect McBody but has had attached to her the trope of I LOVE FOOD GIVE ME ALL THE EATS which personally makes me sick.

1/5 stars . Christmas Everlasting (Tatyana Ali, Dennis Haysbert - Hallmark)

I mentioned this one in passing in an early entry, it's based on a book, so... not "original" totally. Here's why this one doesn't get onto the rec list - it's predictable. It's well-acted, but the story was weak, and I saw the "twist" coming a mile away, and granted - as stated prior somewhere in past entry - I happen to be bizarrely good at that, but I feel like you'd see it, too. Again, this could be the "fault" of the book, I don't know, I've never read it (it's called "The Other Sister", btw), I just judge the movie. Anyhow, it's the same ol' same ol' of big city gal comes home, dead family member (aforementioned sister - you know this immediately though, not a spoiler ), but rekindled lurve, and hey, she's gonna stay for good this time! Bonus appearance of Patti LaBelle, though, which is a bright spot.

The thing that worked my nerves the most was that they inexplicably got actors to play the main folks in flashbacks to 10 years ago who look *nothing* like Ali and the lead male (whose name I unfortunately didn't note, but he was familiar to me), and I'm not just talking hair, that and clothes are what they're supposed to do for changes in time period, I'm talking distinct facial structure and skin tone and height. It was, on god, the most bizarre "young actor analog" (for lack of knowing another way of putting it) that I have ever seen on film in my life, I'm not exaggerating. The genuine, heartfelt acting of Ali and co. is what gets this bumped to a 3 vs. a 2, because I didn't think it was a *complete* waste of time, despite the meh story.

3/5 stars . Santa's Boots (Megan Hilty - Lifetime)

These are my notes verbatim:

--> family department store --> hot flannel Santa --> tree farm --> exec who comes home to save the family business and she's gonna stay 4eva! --> wtf do the boots have to do with anything, I don't.... --> 2/5 stars - 1 b/c hot flannel Santa - should be 1 star . A Christmas Arrangement (it doesn't matter - Hallmark)

Flower shop, check. "Arrangement", get it? ::sigh:: You'll just *love* the first ten minutes, where the lead says "no" and rebuffs and in general tries to get away from this dude about a zillion times. Byeeeeee! Nash will be out after the first 15 mins (I give these 15 mins before bailing), guaranteed. [time passes] I was right. Angel Anna (a.k.a. the real Anael, thankyouverymuch) co-stars, and she's a better actress than the lead, who is absolutely grating in every way. Oh, and the font on the flower shop delivery van is Comic Sans.

1/5 stars . Every Christmas Has A Story (Lori Laughlin, Colin Ferguson, and Willie Aames who, it should be noted, has not aged poorly nor has he had obvious plastic surgery yet at the same time looks nothing like himself so figure that one out - Hallmark)

This should've been called Christmas In Hollyvale (I *think* that was the town), but whatever, she's a reporter and he's her producer, so "story". Get it? GET IT?! Lori Laughlin does not age, and Colin Ferguson can pull a face and inject snark on Jensen-levels, and they have great chemistry, both are funny, and are great actors, then there's Doug ("The Crew") who is a delight. The hotel attendant is a bit annoying. The "mystery" she solves is meh. And though the overall premise is fine, the pacing is sloggy, but it's not necessarily a complete waste of your time because your two leads are such great actors.

3/5 stars . Now, here's one that's terrifically bad that I actually suggest you *might* want to watch because while it's not the jaw-dropping holy shit this is stupid ride that will be the final entry, this one's pretty fucking fan-fic-y and should give you some snickers:

A Cinderella Christmas (the chick from Once Upon A Time In Wonderland with lips that look so fake I hope they’re not real because otherwise bless her heart, Mindy Cohn, and doesn't matter - ION)

There is a get-together they have chosen to call a Chrismasquerade, and technically I don't think I have to say any more. But I will. Fuck, this is amazeballs stupid. Only redeeming thing? The always-delightful Mindy Cohn is in the fairy godmother role, I love her, and she has pinky-purple hair, and I always have/always will adore her sweet face and crinkled eyes smile.

Otherwise....

--> is shite music a pre-requisite for these movies?

--> our lead has *very* distinctive lips and her hair/eyes/lips combo look *nothing* like her cousin (the stepsister sub) even behind the half-face mask, so props to the casting department for whiffing the shit out of that

--> the dude is an incredible, unlikable asshat

--> "A Snow White Christmas" is premiering after this, and it's Sunday, and I'm going to host CASPN instead, but Imma go out on a limb and say it ain't worth your time, either

1/5 stars .

Get ready: shockingly for me, I'm about to give you a pair of 3-star trope-premised movies. I know, I know, unlike me. But these actually pulled it off. The trope?

*takes deep breath*

Pretend to by my boyfriend/girlfriend for my family . (1) A Holiday Engagement (Bonnie Summerville ???, and Jordan Bridges)

It's what you think, but not for terribly flaky reasons - she *was* engaged but the dick broke up with her at Thanksgiving. And in a pleasant change of pace, she doesn't get a friend-who-will-turn-to-more to play the part, she hires an actor. Smart girl. Bridges is another one of those random actors you see off-and-on who elevates everything he is in, and the chick is great, and the family is well cast, and the waiter at the restaurant made me laugh out loud. The whole thing is snappy in pace (lil' bit of filler, but that's par for the course with these movies) and has some snappy dialogue in places, and overall it's not a waste of time, not too shmoopy.

3/5 stars . (2) Mingle All The Way (Jen Lilley, Brant Daugherty, Lindsay Wagner - Hallmark)

Inventive concept here, though they kinda shit the bed with naming their business something affiliated with Christmas if it's clearly a year-round affair, but okay. What it is: a dating app that's not a dating app, it's purely for folks who need a +1 to specifically business/work social events, but also more formal family and friend events (so, say, Christmas party where it's not just family, or friend party that's not just show up in your jeans and sweaters - the cocktail stuff, is my point). The thing is, no one is pretending to be the boyfriend or girlfriend, it's supposed to be like "And this is Susie/Steve, an associate of mine from ____ business". Nothing romantic, no false pretenses, no lying to others (well... not supposed to wink-wink).

The chick - who runs the biz/came up with it/helped develop it - is needing to take on investors, and one of them is like "Sold! But can I get some firsthand testimonial? Have you yourself tested your product?" and since she's got shit coming up on her agenda, she does. Plus, her mom's on her ass about working so much and not dating since a bad breakup years ago, and it's compounded because baby sister just got engaged. (Mom is bionic woman Lindsay Wagner. She's not really bionic. Google it, youths.)

Dude is in a situation where he's not advancing at work because scuzzy kiss ass co-worker is shmoozing with boss during off hours because boss doesn't invite the single people to brunch or whatever with him and his wife, he's only inviting the ones who he knows has a partner to bring. I know to some of you this may sound absolutely ridiculous but, um, I've experienced this many times. This is not out of the realm. Not even a little bit. I had a gay boss who understood how this happens (likely because he experienced it) and he was wonderful about including everybody. Otherwise, yeah, I been there. I've digressed.

The leads have good chemistry, there was great snark and back-and-forth when they met each other a couple times prior to the set-up ('cause you guessed it: the app paired them with a high %age of compatibility - his sister suggested he do it after he heard about it on the news and he told her of his situation) and they click really well. There's touches of shmoop, of course, but this was an above-average story amongst the typical Christmas dreck, so it makes the rec list at 4/5 stars.

Your rec list is now:

(5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark)

(5 of 5) Love At The Christmas Table (Danica McKellar, Lea Thompson - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark)

(4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime)

(4 of 5) Mingle All The Way (Jen Lilley, Brant Daugherty, Lindsay Wagner - Hallmark)

That's all, kiddos! See you next time for the worst of the worst, complete with screencaps. You will *not* be disappointed.

#10

Okay, if I'm gonna get to the fanfic-y-est of all the Christmas movies - and it will easily take up an entire post - we gotta tear through a bunch because the season's almost over and you're not gonna have time to avoid/find these, depending. So we'll hit a high point first (because I've added to the 4-to-5 stars you-should-actually-watch-these rec list), and tear through a bag of mixed nuts, including the third David Haydn-Jones... treat... nah, this third one is the best (?) so far... though, um, that ain't saying much. Woof. Yeesh.

As a reminder - 3/5 means they aren't exactly a waste of time, 2/5 are debatable/up to personal taste, and of course 1/5 means I will never get that time back and I'm that much closer to death because of the movie and what it drained from my soul.

Let's kick off with one that may be my favorite, and got a 5/5 score, update the ol' You Should Definitely Watch This rec list...

Love At The Christmas Table

(Danica McKellar, Lea Thompson, the guy who played Luke on Gilmore Girls, several character actors you'll recognize, and the lead dude is familiar too though his name doesn't ring bells - Lifetime)

Look, from what I can recall, ol' Danica was fine in "Wonder Years", but as I mentioned in a past post, something has happened over the years and girl can't act. It's distractingly bad, because she's typically paired with heavy-hitters (even if they aren't well known). So I'm not sure if it's that she and the lead male really clicked or she really clicked with the director, but it was night and day. This movie is also from 2012, so maybe it's just been tough going acting-wise since then. In any event, don't let any other of my other reviews of her dissuade.

But the script and the direction are both *fantastic*, and I suspect it's partly because the concept was kept nice and basic: A man realizes that his best friend since childhood is the one. Boom. Lots of room to get some good character development and plot progression, and they did, since it's not bogged down with a bunch of extraneous stuff.

There is so much delight packed into the first half hour, you will be grinning. The execution of it is nicely done, too - as we go through the years, each Christmas is prefaced by "Age ___" to let you know how much time has passed, and they look subtly different in appearance and attitude each time. The parents are phenomenal, you're going to enjoy each one of them. The interactions between all parties feel real. And more on feels, this almost feels like a play - it takes place in a house for like, 90% of the movie. But every set is very cozy and crowded with things and/or people (in a good way), and nothing seems like it was perfectly placed, it's how these locations would actually realistically look.

The worst thing I can say about this movie is that I really wish the two leads were other people. They had fantastic friend chemistry, but I tell ya, not a ton of spark when it started bending romantic. And there are plenty of actors who look younger than their age, and maybe that's what this needed, more mature actors who could realistically be shown as teens with some sweet hair/make-up magic. Or, again, could be Danica. I don't know. But she comes across *legions* more relaxed in front of the camera here than in others I've seen her in, so that little bump in road aside (and truly, it's not intolerable - it's noticeable, that possibly poor casting of them, but it's not going to pull you out of the story).

You're going to love the last fifteen minutes, what she does for her dad, how he's walking and talking with his parents when she sees what----- I can't say it. I *genuinely* do not want to spoil this for you. And then the very-very ending is *chef's kiss*.

I want you to watch this movie, especially you who are fans of friends-to-more. Because, I mean, there's a STORY, thank you lord. It's not regurgitated same-ol', same-ol'. This is a really great character-driven piece, and honestly? I wish it had gotten optioned to be on the big screen. I think it could've really been included with other heart-grabbing, fan-favorite romantic Christmas movies.

5/5 stars

The (now newly) updated rec list of well-worth-your-timers:

(5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark) (5 of 5) Love At The Christmas Table (Danica McKellar, Lea Thompson - Lifetime) (4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime) (4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark) (4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime)

Christmas At The Palace (Not a person you'll have ever seen or heard of, ever - Hallmark)

I've regrettably watched "Christmas At The Palace" once through completely, and three times caught blocks of it because I basically leave these channels on all day, then when I pass by the remote, I'll flip through the main four giving us "originals" (Hallmark, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, Lifetime, and the JV team over on ION), and that's that. This one has clearly been on *constantly*. And it sucks. Not one person - I'm not exaggerating - not *one* *person* in this movie can act. If you've ever imagined yourself in a movie or TV show and thought it impossible? Please let this movie give you hope. You can do it. Someone hired these people, they'll hire you.

Gives me hope writing wise, as well. What a septic tank of a script. Check it: once again we find ourselves in a royal circumstance where the prince is widowed or needs to get married because of blah-blah-law-queen -and-king -insist, who cares. This time though, he gets his Christmas boner --- I MEAN --- spirit via a former almost not quite professional ice skater. Seriously, they make a point to say she didn't make the Olympic team and isn't on the pro circuit, she choreographs for this travelling show thing. I mean characters with flaws, sure, but they shit on her in the first fifteen minutes. The whole movie in its entirety is embarrassing to watch. There is minor redemption in the (standard) best friends (one for each of the leads). They are.... tolerable. That's it, I almost said "okay", but I can't because they're so grating in most of their scenes.

And the two main gals? The lead and the best friend? Won't. Quit. Fucking. Smiling. I'm not exaggerating this - they are smiling easily 90% of the time. It is incredibly irritating. And there is zeeeeeeero chemistry between the prince and the ice skater.

Skip it. I can find something that's garbage enjoyable in a So Bad It's Entertaining way, but this one is absolute stank garbage, and they are pimping it like it's the second coming.

1/5 stars

. Christmas In Tennessee (Rachel Boston [again], Andrew Walker, some kid with really jacked teeth, Caroline Rhea, and Patricia Richardson - Lifetime)

Aw, shit. Here we go. After the Graceland one with Kellie Pickler (which you'll not see me report on here because I couldn't sit still long enough to watch it because she can sing, but she sure as shit can't act) my hopes are not high, though they *were* renewed to a great degree with "Every Other Christmas", which if you'll recall is on my rec list for you.

Bakery. Christmas pageant. Real-estate suits coming after the teensy town to build a ski resort. One of them is cute man. She is cute baker. She is also a single mom. And there's a mysterious sweet woman "Mrs. C" who *loves* the cookies - and so did her husband "Kris" [wink-wink]

:: sighs ::

At least nobody's trying and failing to fake a Southern accent, god and small favors and all that.

Listen, all I want is for there to be some originality. That's it. I'm not looking for perfection, I mean, that's subjective, after all. (Well.) Just fucking... I mean, look: don't make her a single mom, to start. Don't make her a baker, second. Keep your ski lodge in small town thing, fine, that's the conflict between them. But hey, what if she's the mayor? Have a Leslie Knope, politics-oriented, civil-service type as the lead character. Somebody who can go toe-to-toe and not have to sugar-sweet-charm her way around shit.

In any event, good acting from the leads, Caroline Rhea and Patricia Richardson are always good in everything, and there's some nice snappy dialogue. It's not too terribly saccharine. Fuck, fine, I'll stick it on the not a waste of time list it unless something goes way haywire. [time passes] Okay. I has a lil' smile on my face. It actually didn't typical too-too hard. The lead actors were great, everything seemed easy and casual between them. Too bad the plot was weak. Still though, didn't leave me feeling it was a total waste of time.

3/5 stars .

~ Let's do an Alicia Witt Trifecta! ~

. Christmas at Cartwright's (Alicia Witt - Hallmark)

"Nicky is a single mother, unemployed and broke at Christmas and desperate to find a job in order to make her young daughter's holiday a happy one. With the aid of an angel, she gets a job as a department store Santa." - It is pure cheese. Alicia Witt should stick with drama, hundred percent, it is astounding how pedestrian her acting skills become when she has to get sweet/touching/emotional in the absence of any heart-grabbing stakes (think Lily Sunder). So anyhow, this is some piss-poor amalgam of Miracle on 34th and It's A Wonderful Life, but I'm giving an extra star because kudos for making the chick the Santa.

2/5 stars . Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane (Alicia Witt, Colin Ferguson, Laura Leighton - Hallmark)

This almost got off the naughty list purely because Colin Ferguson is a fucking delight in everything he's in, he's one of those "elevators" as I call them - Mark Sheppard is another good example - because they elevate anything they're in, however shlocky, and if it's actually good, they help make it even better. This, according to my notes, is "exposition dumps coated in cheese", and it's that ol' chestnut of the saving the family home and oh noes dead parents and big city gal back in town and wow she's gonna stay! You've seen many iterations of this movie, don't bother. The house is fabulous, though, I'd live in it in a hot second.

2/5 stars (and that 2nd star is only for Ferguson - as stated before, Witt should stick to drama vs. awwww stuff)

. A Very Merry Mix-Up (Alicia Witt - Hallmark)

Once again, please welcome Alicia, this time en route to meet her future in-laws as a surprise to announce the engagement (well, and that he's been dating someone at all - he's a work-a-holic who never gets home much - matter of fact, he's stuck finishing up a deal and has to meet her there vs. ride together) and "through a serendipitous series of events" has to ride along with a dude who turns out to be her future bro-in-law, who proceeds to wreck her phone with a drink, and then wreck the car because he's distracted. The MD at the hospital tells them not to sleep for the next 24 hours and that they need constant monitoring.

(Couple things while I have you: The former is an old wives' tale, and as for the latter, if they need constant monitoring, they wouldn't be discharged, they'd be admitted for, you know, monitoring. Jeez this part was so stupid. It was so they could slumber party and bond. Because there was no other way to accomplish bonding than via stupid car wreck and representing med professionals as stupid. ::sighs::)

You know, this would be a great movie if the plot was that she was a con artist. It's not. But wouldn't that be great? And the romance comes in when she has a change of heart because shmoop-shmoop-shmoop first family Christmas she's ever experienced? WHY AM I NOT A SCREENWRITER HOW DO I SUBMIT THINGS TO PEOPLE

Anyway, we find out fiance is scum, and later we see that his family is stiff and cold and miserable and a bit *too* much of a contrast to the other family. There's a cookie baking scene, check. The leads have pretty good chemistry, though. But oh, quelle horror! Name mix-up! Wrong family! Oh noes! Anyway there's a thing with a story about grandparents and a clock that's legit creative and sweet... but at the very end, I don't get why t.f. he didn't put the ring they found on her finger. This movie isn't a complete waste of time, there's just some choices in there that they whiffed that could've made it something special.

3/5 stars

. Hey! Let's do another like that - but oh boy does this one take a turn.

Dashing Through The Snow (Meghan Ory, Andrew Walker)

You'll recognize Walker from the Tennessee movie with Rachel Boston, he's the one with the cheekbones you could cut diamonds on (no seriously, it's just skin on skull, it's mesmerizing) and you know Ory from lots of other stuff. Be warned: she is annoying as all-get-out in this movie, and it's tolerable, but it spikes every now and again into the I Want To Shake You territory.

This one is bugfuck bananas, and I am here for it.

So it's a eye-roll premise, she gets stuck when her flight reservation gets screwed and then there's no rentals so she and this guy who are going in the same direction agree to share a rental.

Here's the thing: she's gonna work your nerves, I'll tell you up front. She's this whimsical perky but anal retentive ball of AAAAHHHHHH!!! SHUT UP!!!! that made me quit watching this movie the first time. I went back to it when it re-ran for one reason, and one reason only, and it is this:

After she makes a fuss at the counter to the attendant at the airport about her reservation being fucked up, when attendant is on the phone, she sneaks through to get to the other side (because, y'know - this is the Get On Plane side, over yonder is the Get Off Plane Side where it's easier to get to rental car vs. walking across the airport), and we learn that attendant wouldn't let her board and lied about the whatever was wrong and is on phone because homeland security or feds or whatever are there because some chick with her same name is an international criminal.

Phew! Out of breath.

Now, you have to overlook the fact of why would an international criminal who knows how to evade authorities all the sudden (a) use her real name and (b) make a fuss/a scene and (c) get herself caught all over cameras so that the authorities now know what she looks like for the first time in years. I'm warning you now. I know. I *know*. It's a piss-poor way of going about this, even though it does get explained in, like, the last 40 minutes and with a "Really?" sort of reasoning. But, interesting and unique plot, so I'll take it. There’s also a wonderfully cute puppy who lights up the screen, totes steals the show.

So, there's a "twist" that I didn't find to be twisty, I called it the moment ___ interact early on, but that's okay, I can let that go, I guess the endings of easily 95% of movies I watch (blessing/curse). But - AGAIN! - interesting and unique plot, so I'll take it. Only reason it didn't make a 3 is how annoying Ory's character is, and how stupidly they portray the FBI, with not listening to their top agent when he says "We're wrong - she had her identity stolen - call off the op." It’s not a “1″ but it may be a “3″ for you, you’ll have to make the call. But for me....

2/5 stars

. Hope at Christmas (The lead chick is familiar, her name is Scottie Thompson - Hallmark)

Single mom! Precocious daughter! Returns home to deal with dead grammy's house! Meet cute in bookstore! Mom not terribly into Christmas because kid will be with her dad! She slowly gets back into it! Plans on going back to big city! Ends up staying! Because lurve!

None of the acting was bad (I mean, the little girl is annoying after awhile), but as noted, the story is the same as most others. You make the call, folks. And you'll be able to, I've caught it airing after my initial viewing no less than four or five times, no joke.

2/5 stars . The Sweetest Christmas (Lacy Chabert - Hallmark)

This is about a gingerbread contest. It is boring as fuck. Skip anything involving Lacey Chabert, trust me, this is the only one I managed to make it all the way through, and believe me when I say it was touch-and-go, I had to make myself in order to give her a fair shake. I've never thought she could act, though, to me her voice is less delicate and more whiny, and besides, she's Poor Man's Jennifer Love Hewitt #sorry not sorry

1/5 stars . Just In Time For Christmas (Doesn't matter, though William Shatner does show up driving a horse-drawn carriage - Lifetime)

Meet Lindsay, a young - too young to be up for tenure, bee-tee-dubs - psychology professor has to choose between a book deal and tenure track at a prestigious university versus accepting the marriage proposal from her longtime, totally adores, really loves him (they are VERY pointed about establishing this) boyfriend. But hey, screenwriters, got a thought, and hear me out: why not both? But I get it, since this movie is from 1975, oh shit sorry, 2015. Yeah, no. Pass.

1/5 stars

. And finally, DHJ. This is gonna be short and sweet, because on the whole, it blew. But I'll tell you when/where you can watch the fourth, since I won't be covering it and it's gonna come on at an ungodly hour and I likely won't watch it. It sounds like ass.

A Bramble House Christmas (David Haydn-Jones, Autumn Reeser - Hallmark)

The premise is he's a children's book illustrator who comes to this little town under the guise of getting inspo for his next book, but really he's supposed to be confronting the nurse's aid to whom his now-deceased (and estranged) father left a shitton of cash, giving her an injunction (to the will) on behalf of himself and his sister.

But then, lurve. :::sigh:::

Understand up front that this is an hour's worth of "movie" that was stretched into 2 hours, man oh MAN did it drag. And there's all the typical: ice skating where one person sucks; cookie baking; tree decorating (with garish, not subtly-done product placement); also tree in the town square that is visited and "oooh"-ed upon; and precocious child with some oh-noes-sick-kid frosting on top. It is dreck. The premise, sure, okay, that's decently original, but the rest of the story is basic bitch in a bow.

At fifteen til quittin' time, it got straight dumb. She rushes off after she finds out the truth - on Christmas Farging Eve - packing up her and the kid and saying they're off to the airport. How? What? You got no ticket, bitch, where the fuck do you think you're going? Ugh. Idiotic.

One thing, though: if you can get to this in a manner that you can skip to about the 45 minute mark, do it. There is a *moment*. The way DHJ can pull an old Hollywood leading man *look* that says "My dear, I want to kiss you, and well" is a sight to behold.

2/5 stars (one of which is automatic, because DHJ elevates everything he’s in) . You can see the fourth DHJ movie - A Cookie Cutter Christmas - on Hallmark at 1 a.m. CST on Saturday the 22nd of December.

One last entry (#11, tomorrow or Sunday) then a #12 all its own for the pièce de résistance. I'm not overselling it. It is deliciously ridiculous.

Candace Cameron Collection check-in: "Switched For Christmas" is absolute nutterbutters. It is ridiculous and it knows it, so it goes full throttle. I am really impressed with her acting, doing the identical twin thing must be a bitch and a half to film, and she pulls it off. The split screens are well done, too, and not just for TV movie, I mean it's good-good. I'm telling you nothing about the plot. It's sugary sweet, you'll get cavities, and it's not my jam but I couldn't turn it off so that means.... something, I don't know. There was no wine involved, I swear. It's on Lifetime.

But nevermind all that: I know I promised the fanfic movie to end all fanfic movies, but I'd forgotten I promised *before* that to talk about the next David Haydn-Jones feature.

So, last night (read: early this morning, and as of this writing so it may not have been last night at the time you read this) when insomnia struck (read: woke me out of a dead sleep to say HEY IT'S 2 A.M. AND SHIT'S KICKING OFF ON HALLMARK), I groggily turned on the TV at about 15 after, and to what my wondering eyes did appear?

Hoo-boy. The look on his face says it all.

Now, as you know, initially DHJ tried to dodge my investigation. It did not work. And I found him trapped between an over-the-cute-line-into-annoying cotton-topped child and Winnie Cooper in "My Christmas Dream" (Hallmark).

And sweet babby jeebus, did he carry this movie.

I like Danica McKellar in real life - not from having met her or something, I mean because she's a giant ol' nerd, she's a mathematical genius, legit (look it up, I can't do everything, I'm shouldering these movies, my brain can't handle it) and she *sparkles* in interviews. Having said that, she's got Claire Novak Syndrome. Put the actress who plays Claire (I can never remember her name, I've no idea why) in front of a camera and it's all dolly dead-eyes, one trick pony angst... and in everything I've seen her in, I've talked about it before, I won't rehash. Danica’s opposite in that she’s ooooooooverdoing everything. I would actually take some flatness. But it’s still Claire Novak syndrome because something fucking happens when the camera starts rolling and it goes unnatural and awkward to watch. Dunno what it’s about. Who cares, not why we’re here.

Anyway, I am only touching on this movie for DHJ purposes, otherwise I wouldn't bother, it’s not worth the time to watch or tell you about, truly. It’s not the worst, but even he seems to be phoning it in for the most part. So. She's a department store exec and he's an artist that's been doing handyman work, they hook up when his *incredibly* annoying child somehow gets to the store on his own to ask if his dad can work there, she gets him home, her car battery's dead, flirting ensues, blah blah biscuits, stir and bake til crispy, and it'll still be sloggy goo in the middle. It's just straight dumb. Don't waste your time. They have negative-integer chemistry, it's pretty embarrassing to watch, honestly.

1 out of 5 stars, and that 1 is all for DHJ.

That was short, let's pop off a couple more:

Marry Me At Christmas (I didn't note the network or the "stars")

Horrid hair gal meets sentient Ken doll-Archie Andrews hybrid whilst planning his sister's wedding on the fly. Small charming town. He's big city, Hollywood, specifically. Yes, it's the prince and the commoner tale but instead of a prince he's a movie star. Cue the blecccchh. As it's called Marry Me At Christmas, they kinda blew their wad in the title, the sister's wedding goes through as planned, so no drama ahead there.

I really can't say enough about how badly they did her hair. She's got super-curly hair naturally, and I'm not a hairdresser and even *I* know the answer isn't Weigh It Down With Product And Hard, Then Don't Even Finger-Comb It, So It Lays Flat Pancake From Scalp To Ear, Then In Creepy Porcelain Doll Spirals To Shoulders. She looks great when she's in a hat and it's an outdoor scene and it gets tousled. But it's distracting the rest of the time, is my point. Oh, then they inexplicably straighten it for the wedding - curly hair can look *gorgeous* in a formal updo. The one time they didn't leave it curly.

Yes, this is the only thing worth discussing in the entire movie. Not even worth the bingo card. 1 out of 5 stars.

Speaking of hair:

Entertaining Christmas (Hallmark) - Jodie Sweetin, Brenden Fehr

Her hair, it's all I can focus on - it's this weird Southern mom bouffy thing when it's not pulled back somehow. Also distracting - and this is a lovely woman, if you've not seen her since she was a child on Full House - are the ill-fitting, unflattering clothing they've put her in. It appears Ms. Sweetin and I share an affliction of the stems, that being... (deep breath) ...hi my name is Nash and I have the legs of a linebacker. It's true. And not a ton of muscle definition, because when I do? Hoo-boy. Heavy-duty linebacker. Best they're left alone.

Point is, if gals like us do skirts, it ain't flattering to go above the knee, it's just not, it wrecks the silhouette and makes our already chunky-monkey legs look even bigger. And dammit if they didn't do it to her, and not even bother to put her in tights. This woman has huge hooters and a tiny waist, they could've had her rocking some crisp black slacks or a pencil skirt that hit mid calf and a snug lil' cashmere sweater and BOOM, you're channeling Mansfield and Monroe. Bonus that she's a natural blonde. But no, let's put her in matronly above-the-knee shapeless polyester-looking dresses. Ugh.

Okay, anyway - this is actually a decently inventive plot: she's the daughter of a Martha Stewart type, and she's "poised to be the new face of the brand" - problem is she suuuuuucks at all the cookie making and knitting and whatever. She's also of the thought that imperfections and unique family traditions are more awesome than the largely unattainable perfect-perfect blah-blah from mommy's magazine. I'll give them this: the mom is awesome and nice and kind and understanding, they were smart not to cliche it up and make her a hardass.

But even though it was a creative plot, it just slogs and is so bleh. If you haven't guessed the ending by that synopsis, I don't know what. It's, um... I mean... it's not great, but may appeal to some, so I didn't put it in the This Is A Horrific Attempt At A Nice Lil' Christmas Movie pile. Take that as you will.

Let us end on a semi-positive note:

Christmas Pen-Pals (Lifetime) - Sarah Drew (who?), character actor you'll recognize immediately (for those of a certain age, it's the dad from Family Ties), other people you'll never have seen before in your life

This should've been called Christmas Cupids because it's about a thing called Christmas Cupids. The people behind these movies are *killing* me.

This one's good, and mainly because the premise is great, it's about secret santa in a potentially match-making way, but hey could also make a good friend. The set-up is that Drew chick is a total brain and she wrote an algorithm for a match-making app but it's so scientific it's boring and as her business partner at said app company put it, it takes away the spark. Which is kinda dumb, because you get the spark when meeting the other person, ain't none of these dating apps giving you in-person spark. Whatever, they're losing users so they need a kick. I missed the part about how she re-worked an electronic app into handwritten letters, but that's neither here-nor-there.

I'm not gonna tell you who she ends up with - you'll guess it nearly immediately, don't worry - but know that even though it's predictable, there's several really sweet and unique moments that I haven't seen in all these other 50,000 carbon-copy Christmas movies. The acting on the part of our leading lady is a little extra, and the other lead is a little flat, and the flow/cadence to the story isn't quiiiiiiite there, but I'm giving it 3/5 stars, so it's not on the rec list, but not a waste of your time.

And just to recap the rec list thus far...

(4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime) (4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark) (4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime) (5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark)

We'll see about doing a rapid-fire round-up next time, and maybe doing The Christmas Fanfic Movie That Out-Fanfics All The Fanfics And The Christmas Movies, but I legit want to watch it all the way through (I only caught the last half) so I can make sure I'm reporting accurately to the three people who are reading these (not bitter don't care doing it anyway).

I'm not overselling this, by the way. I'm not. It is *deliciously* bad.

Okay, as a reminder, the only movies which I've given over 3 stars/would actually recommend you spend your time on (and keeping in mind that a "5" does not mean it's a great movie, it just means it's not overly sad nor overly shmoopy, and doesn't hit a grotesque amount of recycled plots on the bingo card) are: . (4 of 5) Every Other Christmas (Schuyler Fisk, Dee Wallace - Lifetime) (4 of 5) Operation Christmas (Tricia Helfer, Marc Blucas - Hallmark) (4 of 5) A Very Nutty Christmas (Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson - Lifetime) (5 of 5) The Christmas Ornament (Kellie Martin, Cameron Mathison, Jewel Staite - Hallmark) . Those last two we haven't talked about yet, so I'll cover 'em at the end of this entry - first we're gonna shoot through the ones that aren't a complete waste of time and have recycled shtick, true, but aren't teeth grinding due to the acting or directing or whatnots.

And we're doing this because next update, I'm going to spend the whole thing on where you can find the Whyenne some of you love so dearly, you reblog her every chance you get. It's her. It. Is. HER. Every mannerism, every word, every---- well, I'm spoiling. That's for next time.

Okay, these are all in the 2-to-3 Nash star ballpark...

Dear Secret Santa (Tatyana Ali, Lamorne Morris) --> there's too much singing for padding the runtime --> you may like it more/find it more satisfying than Sandra Bullock/Keanu Reeves "The Lake House", and that's all I'm telling you plot-wise

Kristin's Christmas Past (Shiri Appleby) --> it's exactly what you think it's about by the title --> there's a really cute, snicker-worthy scene near the start with her younger self, and part of it reminds me of the vibe of the rapid-fire convo in Mystery Spot

A Twist of Christmas (Vanessa Lachey, and someone called Brandon Zub - I think - who is delightful) --> A dad and a mom are shopping for their kids and their bags get mixed up and blah-blah-blah ensues because they're opposites in many ways, but I didn't find it terribly grating --> it's an adorable sort-of snarky-sweet

Road To Christmas (Jessy Schram, Chad Michael Murray) --> nice premise, he's a good actor, and she's... well... ::sigh:: --> this chick in everything I've seen her in... she apparently has one gear, and that gear is coked-up mouse that skitters everywhere with her barrel-curled hair vibrating around her head... but in this one, she chills as the movie goes, so it's tolerable

A Christmas to Remember (Mira Sorvino, Cameron Mathison) ---> This aaaaalmost got on the rec list but I can't because the plot is weaksauce "Overboard" (80s movie, Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell, it's hilarious)... -->...but it wasn't the worst, because these two are such good actors, they sell it, and it's sweet, and keeps good pace, so there ya go

Okay, to the goods - next time we'll talk about the ass disasters - and one specifically that I 100% guarantee the fluff fans amongst us will love, despite my ripping it a new one. Which I'm going to do. Because of all these I've watched, the one we'll talk about legit flabbergasted me on many levels.

A Very Nutty Christmas

I am slightly biased because Melissa is a friend of a friend (sister-in-law, specifically) and she is good people, a hard worker, and a smart (heh) cookie. She knows what roles she nails (sharp wit, no shmoop, strong chicks), so that's what projects she and her mother choose (they produce most everything Melissa's in), she stays in her lane, is my point, so if you agree with that assessment, then you're good to go, this is classic Melissa Joan Hart fare.

She's a baker, but not some "Waahhh this is hard" sort, and there's no competition, it's nothing but what you'd expect - lotsa cookie orders at Christmastime, but again, she's not super-duper stressed, she’s got the appropriate level of “let’s go, people!”. Now, here's the cheese that I don't want to chase you away: her decorative Nutcracker comes to life (Barry Watson) and helps her out.

I know, I knoooow. And listen, at the first scene with him, you're gonna think that Barry'll be working your nerves through the rest - I sure as shit did - but stick with it, he ends up being very charming. You may actually be wooed. The character is completely sincere in all he does and says, and you’re happy to see her have this sort of person in her life, because she puts a lot on herself, and boy is that totally relatable.

Other good stuff is you'll recognize all the secondary characters (their actors, I mean), with the exception of the ex boyfriend, but he's well cast, he doesn't play the smarmy too heavily. There's also a good song behind the (standard) montage for once, and smart smart smart is their limited usage of Tchaikovsky outside of the blip of the ballet that we see. And kudos for that, too, limiting the ballet's role in the movie.

The whole thing is tied up with a very satisfying ending. It's fluff done right....

The Christmas Ornament

....and here's angst done right.

This isn’t about an ornament being magical or something how you might think from the title, I promise. It’s significant, but not in some otherworldly way. The situation(s) are absolutely plausible, it’s a believable story, and there’s not all this exposition that explains the characters’ backgrounds, it all unfolds organically, and you’re honest-to-god rooting for them, no matter if the story has them together at the end or not - you’re gonna find yourself saying “I’m okay with this happening for them either way, whether they stay friends or if it evolves.” On that note, kudos to the writer: Cameron’s character is very empathetic and doesn’t push Kellie’s character, not even once - he pushes her to get “out there” and interact with people and be social more than she has been, yes, but in a good friend sort of way (and Jewel’s character is doing the same - it’s in the “we care about you” way).

And this movie looks *fantastic*. The cinematographer and editor gave it big-deal-theater-movie-level treatment, no kidding. Some beautiful shots, especially some lingering ones at the ice rink. Bless the music supervisors, too - no shitty distracting music, and no one (if memory serves) sang for an extended period of time, if at all (I really don’t think anyone sang). Jewel Staite is a treasure, and for once the side-friend was actually necessary to the story, she was well-used.

I also liked it because Kellie’s character is self-assured in many ways, fragile in some ways - in other words, she’s real and she’s relatable. I took issue with one teensy thing, I didn’t track with how it was she was the one to apologize for a misunderstanding, because she actually wasn’t far off base; what she thought made sense for (1) how he’d behaved toward her, and (2) what she’d seen, and (3) what she knew because of what he’d told her prior. In any event, that’s the only real “flaw” (and it could just be a Nash thing) that I saw. This one’s well worth your time.

This entry’s about “Dear Santa” (Lifetime), part of the David Haydn-Jones quadrangle Christmas tangle. The plot sounds decent - cheese, but decent. I love Amy Acker, and I love DHJ, this should be a cakewalk.

[15 mins.in] Oh. Oh, my.

Yeah, I'm busting out the Cheesy Christmas Movie Bingo Card, it'll be at the end. Let's see if we can get a win. At a minimum, I think we're gonna be checking a lotta boxes.

Other than our leads, we have poor man's Sean Hayes as gay best friend (h/t @butiaintgonnaloveem) on the scene, and he's outfitted in hot pink chef gear - AT THE SOUP KITCHEN - so that everybody's clear he's a card-carrying member of The Gay.

Shitty acoustic guitar riffs, cool.

Precocious child plays the flute... and shittily.

There's a homeless man whose shtick is that he won't come inside, never a roof over his head again, and I wanna know (do I?) where he's taking his dumps.

Related, the music continues to be shitty, and I mean toilet-clogging.

Ice skating "lesson", check.

Holy fucknoodles, two grown women are in a food fight. I do not get why Dollar Store Justine Bateman (the snippy girlfriend, the one that is so off-putting it is beyond the realm of possibility that this kindhearted and jovial man is even remotely interested in her despite knowing each other a long time) is so vitriolic, as she's known Amy Acker about five minutes.

THIS MUSIC

Christmas wish, check.

The green screen effect behind rich mommy checking in from the Caribbean is such ass, I am shocked. You Tubers have better green screens. How do you fuck up a green screen? You're a goddamn cable channel whose focus is movies. TV local news manages to do it with weatherpeople multiple times a day.

Acker and Jones save this dreck. The kid ain't half-bad, either. But they are the types of actors that everything out of their mouths just flows so naturally, even when the plot is ass. I love this Angel-SPN match-up.

JEEBUS HAROLD CRICKET he just said that they are *five* *figures* *deep* in back rent on the soup kitchen and - I quote - "I guess the bank's out of good will". DO YOU THINK?!

"I thought little girls loved to play the flute" is a line that was just uttered, and bless DHJ for actually getting it past his lips.

I forgot to mention, Acker's displayed some guilt a couple times now because earlier, there was a meet-cute (okay, apparently a near-run-over) incident with a mail carrier, a letter flew out, and - I *must* quote @butiaintgonnaloveem here again - then "instead of giving it back, she commits mail fraud and opens it."

Now, the guilt is because it's the lil' tyke's letter to Santa, asking him for a new mommy (dead parent/spouse, check) and she's also feeling guilt over tracking them down (why? boredom? sure, that's gotta be the reason, because to remedy the letter situation, you glue that shit shut and stick it in a mailbox, it's just going to an incinerator at the mail station anyway), but it's this misplaced Christmas wish that perplexes me. It's not like she nicked a bill or a wedding invitation or something that's actually important.

I'M A GRINCH

Oh he owns a snowplow business? That name again is Mr. Plow (Simpson's song ref, google Mr. Plow, I'm sure it's somewhere). And it's the song I wish I was hearing, this music is eardrum-thumping. It is a slobbery wet willy. It is *achingly* bad.

He just stared longingly at her and licked his lips, FML.

Now Acker's acting like a snotface. I don't dig it. I'd be cool with her being sharp and not taking the shit from Justine but being classy about it, they've got her being balls-out bitchy.

Why is it taking so long for the wealthy girl to be like HERE IS CASH MONEY FOR YOUR SOUP KITCHEN YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURE DAVID HAYDN-JONES --- like I get your charge cards or whatever are snipped, but go sell some jewelry or clothes from last season and shit.

She had the letter in her clutch? She's carrying it around with her? Why? WHY?!? I hate stupid writing. I hate it. Worse is that it's lazy. HATE. Why was it in her purse? Because someone needed to find it. And there was no other possible way to accomplish that, than having one of your leads be an absolute fuckwit, right? GRRRRRRRRRRR that stuff just works my nerves.

The confrontation scene is good. Neither are over the top.

Well how's about that? Her Christmas present check will cover the soup kitchen's debt!

Enough with the shitty guitar riffs, it's like I'm watching an SPN ep, and, no, that's not a compliment.

The longest montage for padding runtime is happening, and with another shitty song (but a tolerable one, despite the singer faking a lot of catches in her voice - I would know, I have a natural catch in my singing voice that I had to fight like a mofo for about six years in choir, but I've digressed, just tuck that nugget into your Nash file), showing Acker moping and DHJ sighing, then him running by the soup kitchen to sit in his snow plow and angst, and then....

....oh lookee there! She did the thing. Sean Hayes - in a sheer v-neck inexplicably over a long-sleeved cotton shirt like I'm presently wearing because it's what I lounge/sleep in, with a Coach neckerchief to top it all off (on god, I cannot make this up) - is now sassing DHJ, saying the letter thing was fate. And I mean... yeah, it was, right? Whatever, if DHJ was single and I had the chance, I'd be happenstancing my way near him as much as (and smoothly as, natch) possible.

I CAN BE SMOOTH SHUT UP

Smooches near the town tree square or whatever it is. And now we're back, and now the homeless dude has agreed to come inside, and we still have absolutely zero idea why he doesn't like being inside, and they have (checks time) less than 2 minutes to resolve it. *see below*

Nope. That's it. That's how it ends. The homeless man came inside. Because that was the primary arc.

No. It wasn't.

It should end with us seeing him come in, sure (I'll ignore the boom of Chekov's Gun firing in the background), but we end NOT with the moment between DHJ and random homeless dude - which, again, let me be clear is *exactly* what happened - but rather with him coming in and all the rest of the homeless comrades and staff and Acker and Jones greeting them, then we see our two main characters and the kid sitting down like a family, pull back, we see them through the window in which Christmas tree lights are reflecting, pull back further, it starts to snow, cut to credits.

Imma give this one 3 stars outta 5. It wasn't a total ass disaster, but it wasn't that great. It was okay. The Bingo card concurs, as it didn't get filled up, but it got damn close to being a 2/5 (in my mind, every bingo = a point off because it means it’s so unoriginal a damn bingo card could’ve written it):

Addendum:

Butiaint reports that "the homeless guy wouldn't go inside because the last building he walked into was a casino and he lost 'every last penny', so he could never 'just step inside ever again'," to which I, very calmly, replied --->

I'll do an addendum.... that still doesn't... I don't.... what? That's.... why not just say he can't make himself sit down for a homecooked meal because it causes him too much pain because his family died in a car wreck going out Christmas shopping and a dinner/meal was his last memory of them? It didn't need to tie into the money thing with her, that thread was fine on its own.... goddamnit I hate stupid writing

Back to quick round-ups and arbitrary ratings of a bunch of movies in the next one, once I get my notepad transcribed.

For some reason, this whole entry morphed into a recap of "Holiday High School Reunion" with Rachel Boston (Lifetime). You'll recognize this gal, she's been in others for Lifetime, and I personally recognized her for the pretty damn entertaining, sadly short-lived Witches of EastwickEnd series. It was a fan-frikkin'-tastic cast of awesome women, they made any sloggy scripts watchable. I digress.

I immediately empathized with this character because not even a quarter of the way into the movie she's (a) dreading her high school reunion, and (b) hates social media because she doesn't wanna have to justify/be asked about/etc. her life, as she's not where she wants to be. I personally would add onto that the distinct apathy regarding the details of everyone's life. It's either veneered in fabulous or dipped in drama-filled Debbie Downer. Blecchhh. I've digressed again.

There's been a brief funny daydream - if they do more, I'm in, it was pretty cute. And there's been a brilliant piece of screenwriting in this movie, and I want to share it for my writer buddies because it was a *pristine* show-don't-tell.

(Let me say here real fast, to paint you a picture, that she's dressed casually - hoodie, and I think lounge-y pants or maybe pajama pants, or maybe just jeans, can't recall - because it's clearly way past end of workday, and the character I'm about to talk about is in a crisp white button-down and tie and suit slacks.)

Her father arrives to find her on a porch that's covered in strings of Christmas lights wound around the poles/pillars/whatever you call them of the railings, and around the trimwork of the house, and they're these great pops of vivid colors in the night, first of all. So we're seeing her standing there, smiling and happy to see him, and what's in the foreground is a series of bulbs along the window or door frame, and one of the bulbs is out.

Instead of truly greeting his daughter, first thing he does as they barely start chatting, and while she's speaking, is saunter over right into frame, blocking our shot of her, and give that bulb a twist til it lights.

My immediate thoughts: He's a dick. He likes everything just so. He enjoys perfection. He's not interested in effort, just execution. He zeroes in on faults. He actively ignores/doesn't care about the fact that his daughter is happy to see him. He doesn't consider her important enough to receive his attention first and foremost. He's a supreme dick. And he's gonna make her feel like shit for where she is in life, which is her biggest insecurity, which he should know, because that's how good dads operate. But he's not a good dad. Not at all. And I bet he's about to donkey punch her feels.

All that from a twist of a bulb.

And I was right: he proceeded to make her feel like shit by being snotty about her job and comparing her to his golf buddy's daughter. Then she still managed to sit back down at her laptop and focus on what she was doing and smile a genuine smile, and now I like her and feel for her even more. No one would have blamed her if she cried, or snapped at him, or slammed her laptop closed and had an Angst Attack, and those would be writing choices too. But the choice is for her to make the best of things.

We also know this because it is reinforced with another good show-don't-tell via actions (versus her announcing it ad nauseam or other people saying it ad nauseam), when red punch gets spilled on her white dress at the reunion and the snobs are like "Ohmigawd!" and gasping, she goes "Well I think it looks kinda cool!" She does snag a cardigan because she's aware it's an eyesore, so yeah, she's lying to herself. It's clearly a survival mechanism, her childhood must've been a dream with a father like she's got (rolls eyes).

And the lie(s) she tells is to avoid the drama of not living up to the "Most Likely To Succeed" superlative, and even then it's a relatively minor lie, she's not making herself super-duper fabulous because she doesn't feel super-duper presently. She's cheerful without being obnoxiously Pollyanna, and her dynamic with her best friend (you'll recognize him, too, he's the dude who dated Regina George and who Cady had a crush on in "Mean Girls") is phenomenal, they have great chemistry and I'll be honest, I see where this is going and I've got some faith in these screenwriter(s) that they'll actually pull it off smoothly.

There's been a dance/song routine and it is horrific and I hate it. I hate it hard. It's stupid and lasts too long and is purely for padding the runtime. But. It had a good point, albeit one that could’ve accomplished in less time. The three queen bees who were her fake friends in high school, and are her fake friends now, all remember this routine to a pristine degree, and of course we see our girl whiff it the more it goes on, she knocks over a prop, turns this way when she should've turned that way, and I feel her - high school is utterly forgettable.

I’m about to digress, so skip the indent if it doesn’t apply to you - anyone reading this who is currently a senior?

Enjoy it, it's your last year, enjoy being kings of the hill. I liked my senior year for several reasons but the biggest one was that I was getting the hell out of there. I was liked, I was decently popular and I made good grades and was in honors choir, but I wasn't top-tier popular or the head cheerleader or the valedictorian or homecoming queen or always having a boyfriend, none of that, and what I was? That stuff I just listed?

None of it matters. I've not been to any reunions, because I don't care to reminisce. Not that it was horrible or something, it was... *shrugs*. I'm still friendly with the people I went to high school with, ended up going to college with a couple of 'em, matter of fact, and I like who we are as adults tenfold vs. who we were in high school. Because as grown-up as you feel? You're a child. You're all children. I was a child. We were all children (even the couple of gals who, um, had children/were preggers before all was said and done and diplomas hit hands). We were. It just is.

So I assure you: the people who still wistfully think about high school, the ones who "peaked" in high school? There's something mentally still childlike about them, and I don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with man/woman-babies. I'm a grown-up. So believe me when I say that life is about to open up like a motherfucker. And if you did happen to peak in high school? Leave that behind, too. Resting on childhood laurels won't serve you well, because other than some of those accolades getting you into college? Nobody - and I mean nobody - in grown-up world cares about that shit.

Oh christ another song. And a daydream (pseudo-flashback? hard to say, I was getting a snack). But again, more reinforcement of how high school doesn't matter to her but super-matters to others, in this case how she (former head cheerleader) didn't place give much memory real estate to how she'd broken off things with high school boyfriend (former quarterback), but it's like the first thing he asks about as soon as they're alone.

"Wow well... that was a long time ago," she says, starting to think back, then ultimately says - "I thought you were cheating on me."

He totally was, I don't even need to see a flashback, hundred percent, he's scum. Whoa shit, speaking of - another flashback whilst kissing him, but whoa shit part two, it went to a fun, happy memory with best friend. Not subtle, this movie - of course she'll end up with him.

The divas are now in the bathroom gossiping about her and don't know she's in there. Again, the not caring, this time more blatant - "She ruined the routine!" - "It's like she doesn't even care" - "Can't believe she broke up with him on prom night" - "He deserves better".

One of these bitches was the one he was cheating with, no doubt. They also talk about how one of them called around, found out her job wasn't what she passed it off as, that she's a wardrobe assistant vs. a right-hand-(wo)man to this swank designer. The Queen Bitch calls her "nobody", and the minor bitches are saying how they're her best friends and wondering why she wouldn't tell them the truth. Hey, cheerleaders: Gimme a D! Gimme an E! Gimme an L! ....fuck, this is gonna take too long.... Gimme a USIONAL! What does that spell? DELUSIONAL! *pom shakes* *high kick* *herkie* *round-off-back-handspring*

Oh lord why is she doing a weird impromptu cheer routine.... best friend jumped in to support and encourage and some people seemed to get into it but... the fuck? These screenwriter(s) are either on point or left field, jeebus.

Speaking of field, she and best friend are out lying on the football field, and they're talking fun memories - as in, the only ones that are vivid in her mind are the ones involving him, and vice-versa. I will give them this: the flashbacks are cute and short and don't derail the momentum. They're really well done. The songs are the whiff.

Now the queen bees are discussing their next routine. THE !!FINAL ROUTINE!!! AND SHE HAD A SOLO! (Why the shit are they performing routines at their reunion? I've heard tale of slide shows and videos and stuff like that, but fucking stage shows? Damn I hope that punch is spiked.) One of the minor bitches - the sweet ditzy one - is weeping loudly when Queen Bitch says our gal's officially out of their glee club. But she says "glee club", as in... they're the only 4 members? No other members are in attendance at the reunion? Looks like it was a big-ass graduating class. ???? Got me.

Our gal's mom - who is MARILU HENNER DID I MENTION THAT and has been woefully underused thus far - has overheard. Commercial break. I need a Mountain Dew.

We're back. Marilu is completely opposite of Dick Dad. Now we're in a random B story where one of the bitches is flirting hard with the principal.... and the mic's hot. But she ain't embarrassed, says she'll meet him wherever someplace at midnight. Oh and I forgot that best friend's not-really girlfriend flew out to join him as a surprise and he'd been like "Wha..." and she serves no purpose. Even now, when she gasps and squeals excitedly "Oh you're in love with her!" She ain't mad, and good, because nobody cares. And she's all pumped because she's made lots of friends with these people she'd never seen before in her life.

Fucknoodles the !!!FINAL ROUTINE!!! is bad. Now the solo. Our girl's taken the stage and Queen Bee didn't put up a fight, just stormed off. And here we go: she's making a speech about how she's not yet lived up to the Most Likely To Succeed, but their votes meant a lot to her, and she's not giving up. It's good shit.

And then they start chanting her name (it's Georgia, btw).

And then she starts her O Holy Night solo.

*sigh*

This movie is well-written but there's *so* much unneeded padding to the runtime. And she's on key and there's nothing wrong with her voice but it's nothing special. So what? Lots of people can sing in tune. I don't get it.

Flashback. Yeah, totes cheating, and he admits it - which, if she remembers, then that contradicts the earlier conversation when he denies it... huh? - and now she's in the gym, where she's bummed about the breakup. Best friend rescues, gets her up and dances with her for the last dance.

Have I mentioned that everyone looks identically the same? And we're supposed to be ten years out? Seriously. Hair and everything. Except for - and I don't know why - the bitch trio. (Dear Wardrobe and make-up departments: WHAT.)

So yeah yeah yeah, they share the last dance at the reunion because the whole thing was a fucking talent show-prom do-over (reunions are just not like that, y'all, I know I haven't been to one but my mother has - helped plan one, matter of fact - and they aren't Prom Part Deux, nor are there glee club and cheerleading routines, nor are they scheduled around major holidays. Dear Writers: ALSO WHAT.)

Ending is rushed and is stupid. Holy shit, they whiffed it. They actually ended on the totally unneeded B plot of the prinicpal seduction (which, by the way, consisted of a whopping 2 scenes... possibly 3, clearly it made no impact). This is the stupidest thing, they ended on such a bad note it leaves an icky taste in my mouth for this movie.

This one gets 2.5 stars out of 5. It had 3.5 for most of it, and then when we hit that first routine at the reunion, man did the points start coming off. This was classic fanfic: a ridiculous premise, sure, there’s things you have to overlook out of the gate (like, say, how nobody sane would plan a farging high school reunion at Christmas, at least not if they wanted actual attendance) but the execution’s great for the first half and then something happens and brains melt and it swerves into oncoming traffic and gets hit by The Trope Bus. ::sigh:: Ah, well.

Ermahgerd, "Christmas Shoes" is coming on *warning lights flash* * dives for remote, goes to safety of Hallmark Movies and Mysteries immediately *

Next entry: part one of the David Haydn-Jones Christmas movie trifecta. Finally caught one. It stars the chick that played Winnie Cooper. And holy jumping Jiminy Cricket, was it bad.

Candace Cameron will star in any movie that’s Christmas themed and I am determined to watch all of them. She’s typically cursed with a snoozeville co-lead. The Alaskan doctor one isn’t bad. The executive who’s there to examine the lodge one is absolutely snore-worthy. The one about the saving dad’s business with nutcrackers one is pretty okay. I am actively avoiding the newest one about magic shoes. Christmas shoes never ends well.

Double feature with someone I vaguely recognize as being from a CW show in the early aughts, but clearly not one I actually watched, or I’d remember. Anyway, broad strokes: one is from a couple years ago, she’s a single mom and there’s this locket with a nautical star on it that’s literally, um, locked, and..... it’s not brought up again til the end. You’ll know the movie because you’ll think to yourself “This doesn’t know what it wants to be” - is it about the locket and how it was a gift from her mother and she lost it and it was somehow pivotal to discovering who her birth father was? Or is it about the custody battle with the asshole ex-husband and her losing her job and being evicted? Or is it about the meet-cute then “crossed wires” recurrent situations with the shop owner’s grandson? I have no idea. But there’s precocious kids and a bakery. It had potential, and that actress is good and so was the co-lead, but script = hot mess.

Second one is about a poinsettia farm and stars Bo Duke/Jonathan Kent, depending on your generation. She’s from the big city and she’s a-comin’ home to save the family business! I assume she meets someone at a bakery, I wasn’t pulled in at all, my remote finger got real twitchy, but when I flipped back toward the end, surprise! She’s a-stickin’ around, she’ll run the family business, don’t sell the farm, screw her life at the other place with the things!

I actually have another recommend: “Operation Christmas”

Solid script, and hella fine acting by one Ms. Tricia Helfer. I have loved her since Battlestar Gallactica, SPN fans will know her as the lady ghost on the road who doesn’t know she’s dead. That chick. Killa actress. You wanna talk about a good crier on camera? Top tier, here. My cold, black, shriveled heart actually giddy-up’d and I possibly got misty when she bursts into tears in this movie. Also stars Marc Blucas, who Buffy fans will remember as Riley, and I like him, too.

There are precocious kids, and this coulda gone cheaply exploitative with the military angle, but it sticks the landing with only minor wobbles, it hits heartwarming vs. cheese. There’s an odd fixation on singing in the back half (several characters singing solo at various points), and it’s awkward to watch (and hear, because of the distinct shift your ears will detect between the “on set” and the “in recording studio” audio) because with the exception of one, when they blend it into a professional singer whilst slipping into a wee montage of Christmas tree delivering - or unloading, I can’t recall, who cares - the songs go on Way. Too. Long.

Except.

What they did during the talent show during the Silent Night number? That sing-a-long? Now, that I wish had been a little longer. A+ job, screenwriter(s). The very-very end was saccharine, but it was short, and that’s what counts because I realize you were trapped, this is Hallmark Christmas movie we’re talking, you had to do it, you’d been steady through the rest of the script, they wanted their shmoop, no one blames you.

Something called “The Sound of Christmas” has just come on, and there was so much exposition dump in the *first* *three* *minutes* that the titular sound is actually gonna be the click of my remote control. Oh lord looks like the lead male is poor man’s Ray Liotta who’s a high-powered blah-blah-blah. And seems it’s precocious child: petulant teen edition. I’m out.

David Haydn-Jones continues to elude.

Pattern detected: Plot--->

The conflict must be saving family business/home from certain doom

Business = service industry (store, bakery, gardening/plants/farm, lodge/hotel)

Female protagonist supes busy with her stuff and such in the big city; has to leave; returns; likely plans to stay forever

Precocious child, standard

Execution--->

One lead must be a notably better actor than other; neither may be on-point overall; if both are something, that something is teeth-grinding to watch and/or listen to

Exposition with (admittedly) necessary facts must come early on, and in dialogue dumps, preferably just one big fatty, and preferably between two people who already know this information vs. to someone who is not privy to this information

Character introduction/pertinent background must not trickle out organically over the first act via showing their actions and other characters' reactions; just throw in with that plot exposition dump

A big gun was pulled out last night - Patti LaBelle was briefly in one, watched some of it, was glad to see an original plot (mostly; see above, re: female protag mold) but then I thought better of it, googled, and yup, based on a book. Ah, we meet again, Not Original Story. This morning, tangentially related, something-something-rich-dude-reg-chick, and they were named Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet #fml #gag #stay away #get Austen out of your mouths

Presently playing is one whose plot sounds suspiciously like The Parent Trap: Christmas Edition, Nashville Style. Sort-of, I mean, we start there, then I'm not clear on where they drive to, but it's still Southern, and props to the filmmakers for not going nuts on the snow, someone actually did some research. I will also compliment them for only letting the folks who have some form of natural Southern accent/Southern cadence use it, the rest speaking in standard North American accents.

Now, two things: I love the Lohan version of P.T., a lot a lot a lot, and I'll hear nothing bad about it. Secondly, I'm going to refrain from commenting on shite Southern accents in movies in general, this one and elsewhere, such as in the Kellie Pickler Graceland-set Christmas one that aired yesterday that I could only tolerate in five minute increments as I flipped back and forth to Law & Order SVU frequently for palate cleanses #Mariska sorbet

But it got off to a good start, the opening credits were creative and unique, and I recognize the lead actors. Kids don't seem terribly precocious. Hmmm.

I shall give it a chance.

[time passes; returns to draft]

It's not Parent Trap, summary was garbage, it's not about the precocious kids, and no one has a high-powered career, no one is filthy rich, and both lead actors are really great. The chick is Sissy Spacek's daughter, I've seen her in other stuff before, have always liked her, I think she's talented. I recognize the lead dude from something I've seen before, too, he's a bit of poor man's Paul Rudd, but good. There's a somewhat difficult grandma, but she's not unlikable, you kind of get where she's coming from, and it's because it's Dee Goddamn Wallace, the queen of playing mothers (youngsters, google her, you'll likely recognize her, leave out the goddamn when you do).

The background music isn't overly country-fied nor syrupy-shmoopy twinkle-bells. The dialogue is actually decent and delivered believably by all parties. The kids aren't annoying. The side characters are just that, left to the side, there's no best friend/sister taking up screen time. The leads have an easy, natural chemistry. Holy fucknoodles, I might recommend this one to you. I'm actually watching this one. I'm legit watching it.

[time passes; returns to draft]

What I said above continued, then there was horse-riding and acoustic guitar and even a classic car. The chick wasn't the one leaving to go back to what-the-hell-ever. Nobody was pining for anybody, and the conflict at play was completely realistic. Okay, yeah. Recommend. Hundred percent. This is the angst-turns-to-love with a dash of domestic life AU fic many folks keep trying to write and not quite getting there (Hi, I'm Nash, and I'm supes blunt when I'm under-the-weather), then your bonus that it's set at Christmastime.

The exposition on backstory was done pretty dang smoothly, but better was that we weren't told who these characters are/were, we were shown. *And zero flashbacks* There's several great, snappy, shot-across-the-bow lines. There's a religious element that is pitch-perfect and appropriate and not overbearing. The ending song is a smidge too long, didn't need to hear the whole thing, but it's kept simple and the lyrics are sweet without being cheese, so I'll give it that. Pacing overall is a little wobbly, they probs could've trimmed a good ten-to-twelve minutes of runtime, and there's a side character who blips on the scene that was poorly cast as his lack of prowess sludges up the vibe (charismatic, he ain't, maybe he's somebody's spouse *ahem*), but this one's pretty solid, y'all.

It's called "Every Other Christmas", starring Schuyler Fisk, on Lifetime Movie Network - it just premiered the other night, apparently, so with rebroadcasts you should have plenty of opportunity to catch it.

Okay, back to the shmaltz.

My dearest:

[cue old-timey, slightly depressing instrumental courtesy of rickety fiddles; narration by Ken Burns]

Exposition anvils continue to drop from the sky with abandon, though I’ve not succumbed to my injuries, have no fear.

Alicia Witt was lovely in something about a novelist who was rejected by both successful novelist boyfriend and publisher, but then meets very successful other novelist who is hiding the fact that he is such. I only caught the last quarter. Disappointed in lack of fanfic about novelists. I tire of writing “novelist”.

Our regiment (myself, General Pup, and Lieutenant Pup) is currently surrounded by a tale of a stewardess who has gotten entangled with a dude whose daughter she was in charge of because unaccompanied minor on flight. Dude is the lead from “That Thing You Do”, he was the next Tom Hanks before Colin Hanks got old enough to fill that role. I am saddened this dude has not gotten mucho awards. None of this matters.

I am more of the sads that the flufferfic-ers have not stalked and mauled and chewed on the carcass of the premise of Whyenne being a flight attendant who captures Dean’s heart when she captures his vomit during a flight to wherever to do something. Or, scratch that; she magically cures him of his fears with her enchanted hoo-hah, because that’s how phobias work. And assuming there’s plot, the hunt for the whatever can take place on the plane, like that Harrison Ford movie or that Jodie Foster movie or that Kurt Russell movie. It would have to be a big-ass plane. They could still bang in the bathroom, even though there’s plenty of places to go.

I have no more plot to give, I am exhausted and according to the thing, you know, the thingy that tells what’s on next, there’s no restorative Candace Cameron in the near future. I may have to settle for one of the Duff sisters.

David Haydn-Jones remains elusive.

General Pup is barking orders. I must end here. Ever yours - Nash. #send vodka

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Report from the front line:

There’s been a Denise Richards bakery-related jam. Also a Lacey Chabert - who is a baker - jam. The first had a Christmas cookie contest, the latter a gingerbread competition. Not to be confused. Something with people I’ve never seen before in my life just started, about a big CEO and a bakery. Candace Cameron was in another one, and though it’s bakery-free, those are all starting to blend together.

Send rations.

[Transferred 1st post]

I have felt like garbage and been homebound for two days, and then today (oh blessed event, and I am dead serious, I love it) the onslaught of Fanfic Movie Time has begun, a.k.a. Totes Ridiculous Christmas Situation Lurve-Conflict-Lurve Movie Season on Lifetime/Hallmark/that other network I can never remember the name of, and due to foggy brain I got sucked in. There was a king and ice skating, something about Louisiana with JDM’s wife where everybody’s hair looked horrendous, and then another one with Candace Cameron in Alaska. It was great. Legit. I haven’t laughed as hard. It helped me cough up disease. #bless you Candace

#Nash Watches and Rates #Cheesy Winter Movies #so you don't have to #Cheesy Movie Talk #Not SPN #though sometimes #SPN Tangentially #Back to our #regularly scheduled #programming shortly #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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