Hi first off I love your quiz! This quiz hit HARDD. I wanted your thoughts on this: I’m kind of ashamed I got poet. All I see about poets are that we reject duty and are free, and can say pretty words. I secretly wanted so badly to be the soldier but I knew no one would take me seriously bc I’m so obviously a poet. I want desperately to be strong and to protect those around. I want to prove I can handle duty. I have always considered myself not a hard worker and am genuinely shocked when someone tells me I am. I’ll never be as hard working or dedicated as the other 2. I’m “so kind” but if us poets are not the comedic relief or therapist of the group then are we worth anything at all? Sorry this got so deep LMAO, but I see like nothing super positive about poets lmao.

Hi! I'm glad you liked the quiz, but also really sad you feel bad about your result!

None of the archetypes are a bad one or good one to get, and none of them are a condemnation of who you are. I explained here my thinking behind the Poet archetype (and, sorry to say, this ask is giving peak Poet vibes in terms of wanting to affect the world in tangible ways 😭), but I also added in this answer and in this reblog that my writing for three archetypes is only true about said archetypes, and that I can't actually tell you anything about yourself -- your reaction to the quiz is what you can actually learn from. In the end while I love S/P/K as a piece of writing and as an interactive poem that gets a lot of people thinking, it is also just a piece of writing. You getting Poet is not a condemnation, just like it wouldn't be a consecration, just like getting any result wouldn't be either. It's just one of three options I wrote -- and I'll just add for your sake that none of them are really about being hard-working. I mean if anything I wrote Poets to be the most "hard-working" because they're so desperate to find a way to do things effectively. But again: that's just my writing.

I'll say, though, even though I don't know you: people in your life telling you you are hard working is probably a much better indication of what you mean to people than whatever people on social media interpreted from a quiz a stranger wrote for their friends three years ago. A quiz result, no matter what you think it means, can't stop you from being strong or hard-working or from protecting people -- that's fully up to you. Also, being kind is a good thing. Making your friends laugh is a good thing. People thinking you give good advice and are worthy of trust is a good thing. Being the "group comedian" or "group therapist" as long as the group genuinely values you and does not just take in the give-and-take is not a bad thing. Wanting to do good is normal. Nobody, especially not a stupidly large group of people that all got the same result on a random quiz, is worthless. You're a human being and you're alive. That's always worth something.

I genuinely kinda don't know how to respond to this ask because it really has nothing to do with the quiz itself, just with you! I just hope you manage to find value in yourself and love for yourself beyond external assignations.

Okay I’m not done talking about this actually. Re: the Dishonored series’ attempts to reconcile its critical views of imperialism with keeping the characters who sit at the very top of the Empire likable, I think DH1 is considerably less obvious/glaring about this internal conflict than DH2 because: 1) it’s, duh, the first in the series, and suspension of disbelief comes a lot more naturally the first time you’re told “things will be better now, for real” than the second; and 2) Jessamine’s rule sees so little screentime it’s much easier to portray the miseries of the game as entirely attributable to Burrows’ rule (and the actions of other assorted Bad People™) without directly confronting the imperial system that put them all in a position to seize and promptly abuse power in the first place. Under a read more because I can't shut up, sorry.

Like, say you play DH1 for the first time on low chaos: you get the happy ending epilogue speech, and even if it seems to smooth everything over a little too optimistically for a game that otherwise shows a collapsing society and the corruption that brought it to that state in grim, unflinching detail, well, that’s mostly okay—you maintained low chaos, after all, in essence proving the Outsider’s “Perhaps that’s just the nature of man” theory wrong, and the good effects just rippled outward to a much a larger scale, which was pretty much the point of the chaos system in the first place. If it all sounds a little bit like the happy ending to a parable not particularly grounded in the realities of systems of power that the rest of the game was critiquing, maybe that’s just what happens when an entity as long-lived and far-sighted as the Outsider summarizes a period that is little more than a miniscule blip in time to him. Stand far enough back from something and all the rough edges blur out to nothing.

(Plus it’s a video game after all, so maybe you can suspend your disbelief/any personal political beliefs about real world empires you may have brought with you. Maybe it's nice to imagine that things can change meaningfully for the better for Dunwall and the other Isles simply by plopping a Kaldwin back onto the throne.)

The existence of DH2 makes it clear, though, that the ending monologue to DH1 really is more fairytale than reality (or, you know, what happens when a game gets greenlit for a sequel the devs of three years ago didn't know they'd get). A Kaldwin takes the throne—under the watchful eye and protection of her witchcraft-using Serkonan father, at that, a man with viscerally personal history with the Abbey, the City Watch, and the deeply xenophobic nobility—and despite all those very real family connections and personal reasons to want to reform things for the better, we step into Emily’s rule to see the people of Serkonos being trampled on and worked to death in the silver mines, the Abbey still freely hunting down and torturing or otherwise “disappearing” people suspected of witchcraft, and the Guard casually beating and murdering citizens—in one notable case, by throwing one directly into the same brutal Wall of Light technology mobilized to great effect by Burrows’ corrupt regime and that is still in wide use around Emily’s Empire fifteen years later.

Some of this chaos was instigated by Delilah and her inner circle (especially the Duke) leading up to the coup, but much of it is preexisting corruption that can’t be blamed on her—she and the coven certainly had no reason to prop up the Abbey, for one, and she didn’t have to create the aristocratic bitterness motivating turncoats like Ramsey, only give them an outlet for what was already simmering. Meagan, Sokolov, and Lucia Pastor all make it abundantly clear that this was not a momentary slip-up—Dunwall Tower had been looking the other way while violence and unrest grew for some time, because the human cost of keeping silver flowing was out of sight and out of mind, a function basically built into the system of Imperial rule. Not a bug, but a feature. A tendency toward retaining corrupt institutions, an erosion of empathy, because that’s what keeps the wheels turning and wealth being funneled upward.

So when low chaos Emily professes in mission nine that she’s learned her lesson and that from now on she’ll Pay Attention, really! to the four nation Empire she’s the head of, and the happy epilogue plays and we get another Outsider monologue about the golden age ahead, it just seems…vaguely absurd? Like, we already saw this! Burrows, Campbell, and the Bastard Trio™ of the loyalists were deposed or otherwise gotten rid of, making room for Good People™ with Good Intentions™ to take their place in charge and fix things—you’ve got Emily on the throne with Corvo to guide her; Yul Khulan, a “kind” man and eventual close personal ally of Emily’s, becomes High Overseer; Curnow, widely reputed as a Reasonable Authority Figure and rare man of principle in the Guard, has survived (and presumably still has some years of service as a Captain before the retirement mentioned in The Corroded Man).

And then we fast forward fifteen years and all these groups...still suck? The Empress hates her job and is eating off plates made of silver mined by Karnacan laborers dying hideously of terrible respiratory ailments, the Overseers we see in Karnaca are ransacking homes and torturing Outsider worshippers (a group including such dangerous people as *checks notes* newspaper artists), half the City Guard is on the payroll of the shitty aristocrats supporting Delilah’s coup, and the Grand Guard is passing the time by throwing people into Walls of Light. Emily’s reign began with a veritable A-team of Certified Good People and fifteen years later it's barely made a dent, because the system of imperial rule is built from the ground up to shelter corruption and complacency, to resist change, no matter who’s in charge and whether that person is “paying attention” or not. It’s beyond the power of one sufficiently motivated Empress and a team of well-intentioned people in positions of authority below her.

It’s tempting to say “no, it really was just an issue of Emily not taking her duties seriously, look at Jessamine’s rule, or Euhorn’s before her!” but the thing is Obvious Disasters like Violent Coups Aside we really don’t have much evidence that their rules were all that much better, or at the very least any less prone to corruption? DH1 again has the advantage over DH2 here, mostly by way of omission. We don’t get to actually see what life in the Empire is like under Jessamine, just that tiny sliver of time in the Prologue returning as Corvo to Dunwall Tower, where despite the player being told there’s a deadly plague about to bring the city to a “breaking point,” the scenery is beautiful and calm and the staff are polite and affable. It makes for very compelling contrast when the game fast forwards six months to the dank misery of Coldridge Prison, and then later the grim state of the streets filling up with corpses and weepers.

Mission six completes the comparison with a return to Dunwall Tower, where the courtyard is now brimming with hostile guards and surveillance towers and tallboys, and one lone maid who openly laments Jessamine’s passing. Life under the authoritarian despot who purposely instigated a plague for the purpose of wiping out the lower classes is, obviously, much worse than life under the benevolent Empress who is introduced to us passionately advocating for saving the lives of all of her citizens. But, in the same way Emily and her inner circle of Well-Intentioned People weren’t enough to dislodge the entrenched corruption and brutality—or prevent a new wave of it—Jessamine’s kindness can’t paint over the miseries of the imperial system she presides over. We the players see Coldridge Prison for the first time in the six-months-later flashback of Burrows’ rule, but it existed during Jessamine’s time—guards state explicitly in the DLC that she and Corvo used to come inspect it, in fact. Jessamine wholly loves Corvo, a native of Serkonos, but anti-Serkonan prejudice runs rampant in her court and city. Corvo and Emily wholly love Jessamine too, but the people of Dunwall are somewhat divided on the matter (“Long live the Empress!” “She was a WENCH!” / “Not everyone did, but I really liked the Empress…”). Burrows deceived Jessamine and took advantage of her trusting nature, but he only had the resources to do so in the first place because of the system that promoted him to Royal Spymaster, a position of incredible power and very little accountability.

Euhorn we know the least about, but we are told he enjoyed a “prosperous age”—a sentiment that falls somewhat flat when we learn that he had an affair with a chamber maid (the power differential of which is highly questionable at best), strung along the resulting illegitimate daughter with promises of elevating her to a princess that he never intended to keep, then took his chance when said daughter was blamed for breaking a vase to throw her and her mother out onto the streets, where the mother is brutalized by a prison guard and eventually dies in agony in debtor’s prison, leaving the daughter to fend for herself alone in the world. All of which shows us that the Empire is, in this age of “prosperity,” still a place of extreme power imbalances where the Emperor takes advantage of women in his employ, debtor’s prisons exist, guards can cause fatal injuries to civilians on a whim and face no consequences, and children are thrown with disdain onto the streets to die. Which, on many levels, is not all that different from the ages of other rulers who follow.

tl;dr these games show us over and over again that the Empire is built on a fundamentally broken system that perpetuates corruption and then try to append “but it’s okay so long as the people in charge are good people who are paying attention to their jobs” to the end of them for the sake of keeping those characters likable, and while the first game can get away with this by virtue of being the first game and using Jessamine’s rule primarily as a way to showcase how bad Burrows’ rule sucks by comparison, this falls flat when the very existence of the second game provides ample evidence that the Good Intentions of Generally Good People are not enough to counteract the entrenched cruelties of the institutions that keep imperialism afloat. Okay I'm going to go get another hobby now bye.

22/?? An old man, allegedly

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We return once again to that movie I wish to send the gift of a single tribble, Prometheus.

Yes, the movie’s gotten around to a twist it’s been clumsily foreshadowing for much of its runtime: Ol’ Man Capitalism, AKA Peter Weyland, is in fact alive and on the ship. I’ve been informed this was a relatively late addition to the plot, according to the available script drafts. His inclusion makes a stab at some themes. Let’s see how they do.

Content warning for deliberately gross old feet, weird religious imagery, death mention, Holloway mention.

Yes, David’s discovery of a living Engineer has meant it’s time to take Weyland out of the tupperware and reheat him for a bit. And it means we get to see Guy Pierce in the flesh, under a pile of old man makeup.

Weyland looks no less weird than he did as a hologram. In fact, he possibly looks weirder, because we no longer have that excuse for why he looks like this. Weyland is very frail, and very frail people’s appearance can change rather drastically in ways that aren’t usually put to film, but frankly, he looks more like Grima Wormtongue has been giving him investment advice.

Weyland is here because he thinks the Engineers can stop him from dying. I’m not certain he’s not already expired, and I’m also not sure where he got that impression. There’s a missing step of logic here, which the movie never mentions, but it’s likely related to the assumptions of christianized worldview: if something is the creator of humanity, then it must also have ultimate power over human life and death. Therefore, appealing directly to it can grant you eternal life. The cosmic watchmaker can replace your gears and keep you ticking indefinitely.

I will go along with this framing for just a bit, particularly because this scene is obviously reaching for some biblical imagery I’ll try and tackle in a moment. When the movie remembers to have characters engage with its themes, there are various reactions to the potential of meeting humanity’s creators. 

Shaw is positioned as a true believer, but what that actually means to her is extremely unclear. She has some curiosity about the details of creation, so she’s not buying tickets to the Ark Encounter or whatever. She assumes welcoming and benevolent intention from the Engineers, but there’s never any indication of what she intends to do here, beyond prove herself right. 

She’s also christian, and she thinks the christian God ultimately created the Engineers. How does that fit into her cosmogony? She has to be the sort of christian that takes Genesis as allegory, but what does it mean that humans were shaped by another species in their own image? Are humans more faithfully created in the christian God’s image than the Engineers were? Does she think the Engineers have souls? Are they angels?

We get no opinion on any of that from her. We don’t even see much of anything about how her apparently strong faith affects her life, beyond having a family keepsake and having belief in things. Holloway at least had an explicit goal in mind–it was a hubristic goal, but it was a goal. He wanted to get all his questions answered about life, the universe, and everything, answered personally, rather than letting anyone else get there first. Finding out the Engineers were dead immediately took the shine off of that, seemingly because he’d thought they were omnipotent and omniscient, despite being positioned as an atheist in the dialog. 

Holloway’s position here was odd, particularly for an alleged scientist. He expresses that the creation of life turned out to be “nothing special” during his drunken funk. This echoes common misconceptions by deeply religious folks about how atheists and/or scientists think: the idea that if you’re so set on finding natural, rational explanations for everything, you’re doomed to view the world without wonder or beauty, just chemicals bouncing around for no purpose. That to seek the logic behind the world is to fling yourself into total anhedonia.

As many others have stated before, that’s not what comes out of it, what they’re describing is in fact called “clinical depression.” Understanding more technical details about how the world works doesn’t take the awe out of it, it makes it even more amazing. I’ve excitedly rambled to people that if sequencing tech was cheaper and easier, I’d love to study the genetics and epigenetics of weeds growing on dirt roads, to find out what makes them different from their cousins living only a few feet away in less crappy soil. The existence of a tuft of grass in dusty gravel is endlessly fascinating to me, and I know just enough about them to want to know more.

But no, Holloway’s behavior is common in depictions of atheists by religious people who fundamentally don’t get that one can exist around religious folks without secretly thinking the same way they do. It’s doubly weird, given how surface-level Shaw’s faith is, in a way that also seems to be written by somebody who doesn’t understand the concept too well.

In any case, Holloway got pre-disappointed in the answers he didn’t get, to the very basic philosophical questions he wanted to ask: why were we made? Do we have a purpose? Those sorts of things. Honestly, he could have had more complex things to say about this, even without dislodging his bro persona. Being a bro does not negate the possibility of thoughtfulness, it just means that thoughtfulness might be expressed differently. I didn’t see the movie doing that with him. 

The only other potentially intentional thing it was doing with him is using the sum total of his behavior as a negative example: don’t question these things, it’ll lead you to despair and death. Not sure if they meant that, but the rest of the movie uses the punitive morality of some slasher movies as part of its basic structure, so it’s not an impossible read.

Skipping over David for now and going to Weyland: he’s all about what the Engineers can do for him. It’s a gesture toward people who approach christianity from a transactional angle. Faith in exchange for something. There are definitely people like that out there. A lot of premillennial dispensationalist evangelicals fearfully cling to the belief that, as long as they say the right words, they’ll bodily ascend to heaven and leave everyone else behind for the Antichrist, conveniently skipping that unpleasant “death” thing they don’t want to face.

For those who grew up with that stuff or those brainrotted enough like me to remember it, yes. Yes, I am comparing Peter Weyland to Tim LaHaye. The dialog in this movie is bad enough that it makes me think of Left Behind.

All of this stuff positions the Engineers as either equivalent to the christian god, or to the imperfect gnostic demiurge who is mistaken for a god. But frankly, the Engineers seem more like they were trying to make a sourdough starter, but the last time they opened the fridge, it’d grown fuzz and smelled awful. They were ready to throw out their project. 

Was there a heavy ritual aspect involved in their actions? Sure. But the movie hasn’t sold me on the idea that they are themselves acting as christian allegory, only that christian allegory is being placed on them by others.

Speaking of Weyland and more christian stuff, he’s getting his feet washed by David.

Must be maundy thursday. Foot washing before entering a dwelling is a practice that started as a practical act in a sandal-wearing culture, and became one of power dynamics and religious symbolism. Water would be provided, or a host would wash the feet of a guest themself, or, if they were rich enough, a servant or slave would do the washing. This is very much the dynamic as far as Weyland is concerned. Weyland believes in souls, David, by his estimation, does not have one, therefore he serves humans.

Of course, foot washing also has connotations of humility, and is strongly associated in christianity with Jesus washing the apostles’ feet after the Last Supper. David has certainly and consistently shown himself to be more competent at everything he does than the other characters, and they wouldn’t have gotten this far without him. He’s working on a level they aren’t, even if he’s still forced to be humble about it. If this is the reading we’re meant to reach for, David’s managing a complicated double-act as Jesus (he’s going to be killed for the sins of man yet rise from the dead pretty soon), and also Judas (he is hella jazzed to betray somebody to their death).

In any case, Shaw tries to convince them not to wake up the Engineer. In response, Weyland essentially goads her about Holloway’s death and her beliefs: “And what would Charlie do, now that we’re so close to answering the most meaningful questions ever asked by mankind? How can you leave without knowing what they are? Or have you lost your faith, Shaw?”

Yes, indeed, Weyland, WWCD. Once you determine that, you do the opposite, and you’ll never be steered wrong.

So of course Shaw decides to go with them.

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Alt-text rambles

https://wheelchair.spinergy.com/collections/wheelchair-everyday/products/lite-extreme-lx 

https://youtu.be/7h8zJHywjAw 

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2015/11/05/left-behind-index-the-whole-thing/

https://www.slashfilm.com/503786/first-photo-and-video-footage-from-robert-zemeckis-a-christmas-carol/ 

Overflow Ramble #1

I’m in wait-and-see mode on Fallout one right now. I’m not personally a FO:NV person, so I don’t have special attachment to the West Coast stuff, but I see what they were *trying* to do, even if it didn’t land with me at all (TL;DR playing a queer character felt especially bleak thanks to a lack of underground queer culture in the face of the homophobia). 

The trailer looks good, there’s conflict between the BoS and NCR, which hopefully means both factions are going to be the absolute, incurable disasters they should be. Goggins playing a ghoul who helped sell the lie of the Vaults is good, and he’s a damn solid TV and character actor. Dale Cooper and 80s!Paul Atreidies himself Kyle MacLachlan plays the vault overseer, so that’s fun. I’m not a TV person so I don’t recognize the rest of the cast, but I’m hoping it manages to be something good. We’ll find out in April, by which point I’ll hopefully be fREE OF THIS MOVIE

Overflow Ramble #2: Tribulation Force

Close-up of Nick Cage deep in his “paying the bills” phase as Rayford Steele in Left Behind (2014), looking precisely as enthused as he should be, to be playing Rayford Steele. I chose this reaction image because I am not subjecting anyone to flashbacks of the older movies with Kirk Cameron in them. 

Want to know how I know too much about this stuff, despite literally spending my childhood thinking people just entertained the idea of Jesus the way they did Santa Claus around the holidays? 

Because of a blogger by the name of Fred Clark, who decided one strange day in 2003 to write a thorough dissection of the Left Behind books (cite 3). Thankfully for his sanity, he lost steam eventually. …When Tim LaHaye died in 2016. All fear and respect to Fred Clark.

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i like scientific meditation for myself but i don’t think that it’s a cure all or universal solution for everyone. claiming it is would imply that all 8 billion people have identical functions, bodies, personalities and life paths, no? so my question is: do you believe scientific meditation is the sole way to heal the mindbodysoul and achieve god realization, or do you suspect there are other {possibly superior or more advanced} methods that can also lead to spiritual enlightenment? i'm not positive if your belief is that scientific meditation is the only way to heaven for everyone or if it's simply the method that has worked best for you. i'd love to hear your thoughts on this. many thanks vivienne and keep up the great work 👍

(Short answer: no, there's nothing better than Scientific Meditation.)

What's the sickness that needs to be cured, what's the alternative cure, and how long do we have to wait for it?

I'm not implying that people are “identical” I'm saying that every human is the same as they all come from God. Humans can also change their consciousnesses to what they desire. This level of free will is why being a human is either the best or worse reincarnation.

Scientific Meditation works for everybody whether they're ego-conscious, dog-conscious, money-conscious, food-conscious, or sex-conscious as it is the cure for delusion.

The path to God is a pyramid with God at its apex. There are no other alternative paths. There's no healing outside of God, either. If one cannot reach their individual soul and remain egos, they haven't healed at all.

Real health is permanent happiness. If an individual hasn't achieved happiness in this manner, they're not healthy. They're codependent with a fantasy. Delusions are parasitic entities; they drain the individual of her time, energy, and resources.

Enlightenment and God-Union are two different things. You reach enlightenment once you gain knowledge of what the Ego is, how Cosmic Law works and remember that you can connect with God. At that point, you'll let go of worldliness, and you'd be further than 99.99% of people.

The “Original Human Being” was the human who was psychologically, physically and spiritually perfect, and that state can be re-obtained at will. The only way to return to that perfection is to first strive toward being the pure reflection of God, which is Christ Consciousness.

There are other ways to reach God, but those methods will take millions, billions, trillions of years. I'm talking about reaching God in this lifetime. I'm not interested in this Drama anymore, personally, so I don't have any more opinions, belief systems, wants or needs. Avatars, Saints, Yogis, and Sages aren't concerned about bodies, personalities, and life paths.

Life paths don't matter once you desire liberation, which most people don't want.

Most people identify with egotism whether they know it or not.

Most people agree to abuse and slavery because they're holding out for something better than God.

Most people want to put 100% of their faith into an Ego then blame God for making the world a horrible place when they're the ones who put the battery in the Ego's back.

Scientific Meditation is the detour to God. The solution is not diet, exercise, money nor man-made technology.

There's nothing more advanced than going within, which is why few people do it. The best technology is within us right now—Bankers & Friends know it, which is why they do everything in their power to seize your attention.

Scientific Meditation is an ancient technology, advanced technology and most importantly, it's technology that is forever up-to-date in the present moment. Everything we need is with us and has always been with us.

You're the science you're looking for. There's nothing more advanced than you. Everything men create is to mimic you. They will observe you, tell you that you're deficient in some manner so that you actually become deficient in that manner, then sell your evolution so they maintain control over you.

...most people won't understand this face because they hate themselves so much they experience severe dissociation.

Once you advance mentally, the perfection of Royal Yoga becomes crystal clear, as well as how primitive and inefficient societal operations are.

Just meditation isn't enough, chastity and a supreme love for God is required as well. Without chastity and love for the One you're communing with, meditation won't work apart from giving the individual a short period of relaxation. Without God, you're really meditating for no reason.

Thanks for your question.

One aspect of Levi’s and Erwin’s relationship that I feel like people constantly misunderstand is what, exactly, is was that Erwin did for Levi in terms of shaping him.  I’ve seen some people try to claim that Erwin saved Levi by pulling him out of the Underground and freeing him from a life of criminality, and thus, turning him toward being a good person.  But this would of course imply that Levi hadn’t been a good person before he met Erwin, and this just simply isn’t true.  Erwin didn’t make Levi into a good person, or teach him how to be a good person. Levi already was before he ever came above ground. Yes, he was technically a criminal, in that he engaged in criminal activity, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.  He was already protecting people and fighting for their dreams in the Underground.  Namely Furlan and Isabel.  He took them to the surface because it was their dream to live above, and he took them in and served as their protector and caretaker, essentially, when it was of no, real benefit to him in terms of his own survival.  He took them in because he was already kind and compassionate.  Erwin didn’t instill those qualities in Levi.

What Erwin did was give Levi direction.  

Philosophically, he helped shape Levi’s belief in “no regrets” by telling him not to blame himself for when things go wrong, to drown in questions of “what if” or doubts, but to instead give meaning to the deaths of those he isn’t able to save by fighting on in their name and for their dreams.  He uses Furlan and Isabel as the example, because they were Levi’s best friends and family, and they died fighting for their dream of living on the surface. Levi is someone who’s been surrounded by pointless, meaningless death his whole life, living in the Underground, and exposed to it very early on in his life through having to watch his mother die.  So of course it would strike a cord with him, this idea that he can somehow change that, that he can somehow give meaning to death, and prevent people from dying for nothing.  Erwin tells Levi that this is actually possible.  That he just has to keep fighting in their name for it to be possible. The very fact that this resonates so strongly with Levi is proof in itself of what a good person he is, that something like this would be so appealing to him.  From there, Levi formed his philosophy of always following his heart, and not letting his fear of failure or a possible bad outcome stop him from doing so.  And Levi’s heart is always in the right place, acting out of humanity and compassion, rather than questions of personal success or failure, and certainly never out of self-interest or aggrandizement.  He chooses whatever he knows he will regret the least, whatever sits most right with him in his heart.  Essentially, Erwin helped Levi to believe more in himself. 

Erwin also gave Levi direction in terms of showing him a way to use his strength most effectively, not just to help individual people, one at a time, but all of humanity, by fighting for their freedom from the titans and the walls.  Erwin posits himself as the leader with the vision to create such a world, and Levi as a tool to help him shape it, and Levi readily accepts this role and allows Erwin to wield him to create this better world, because he believes it will result in more people being able to live in genuine peace, without the agony of constant fear.  And Levi, more than anyone I think, knows what it is to live in constant fear and uncertainty, considering where it is he came from and the circumstances he grew up in. So, again, of course it would be very appealing to him, this idea of being able to help people live without constant fear, and again, the fact he wants that for people is proof in itself of his goodness. 

Erwin showed Levi the way to do what he already desired to do.  I always call Erwin Levi’s “guiding light”, and that’s what I mean when I say that.  He helped guide Levi and give him direction, both in terms of believing in himself and his choices, and in how to use his strength to help other people. Levi stuck with him so closely and believed so thoroughly in Erwin because  Erwin showed Levi how he could best give back to others.  The desire was always there, just not the know how, and that’s a result of the way Levi was raised, and where, sadly. 

It doesn’t take away from Erwin’s impact on Levi, or his importance to Levi, to point this all out, I don’t think.  Erwin didn’t make Levi who he is.  He didn’t create him.  Rather, he helped him discover how to do what he wanted, and how to realize his full potential in that regard.  I would say Erwin was the first person to ever, truly believe in Levi, and because of that belief, the first person to ever give him a chance to be who and what he always was and could be outside of the desperation of living in a place like the Underground. 

Oooooo~

Now you got me curious about what problematic opinions you have on that show, lol (you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to of course!)

- same anon as the one who asked “Do you watch attack on titan?” Btw

(Spoilers if you haven’t watched the show)

I guess my problematic opinion can be summarized by the fact that I like the idea of the Rumbling being the end of the show. I know technically it isn’t the end because there’s a long fight where they stop Eren or something, but personally, I like the idea of Eren simply succeeding in carrying out the Rumbling and having to live with the consequences afterwards.

Just to clarify before I continue, I’m not taking a position on whether Eren was morally correct. I think that’s a very complicated question. My only point here is that it was a fascinating twist and made a great story with an impactful (yet extremely fucked up) ending.

Here’s the thing. The show begins with Eren as a child, watching his entire world violently crumble before his eyes. He vows to kill “every last one” of the Titans—in other words, those responsible for the destruction of his home and death of his mother. And at the time, this is a perfectly heroic idea. Given what the audience and characters know about the Titans at this point, they’re nothing but mindless monsters that destroy and eat people for no reason. They don’t even need to do it for food; they literally just eat people for no reason other than it’s fun or something.

But then as the show progresses, so does the context. It complicates things. We find out along with the characters that Titans aren’t just mindless monsters. They’re people, or at least used to be people. And more importantly—that there is an entire world outside of the walls and island full of people who are in fact controlling the Titans and using them as a weapon against the people within Eren’s home.

When the characters travel to Marley, we get even more context. There is basically a race war going on; Eldians (Eren’s people) are considered subhuman monsters by the rest of the world, and that was their motivation for using the Titans to attack and destroy Eren’s home. He sees the full reasoning behind the most traumatic event of his life, and the fact that it was intentional and actually supported by the rest of the world.

So what does Eren do? Well, he does the exact same thing he’s being saying he was going to do throughout the show: he kills them all, every last one. Everyone he considers responsible for that event.

And to me, that’s the beauty of it. Eren’s character and motivations are fundamentally always the same, but the context reframes his beliefs in actions in the eyes of the audience. He seems like a complete hero at first with no ambiguity. But then as things become more nuanced in regards to what “kill them all” actually means…that line between hero and villain becomes ambiguous until we get to the point where Eren turns into a literal monster and sets out to massacre the majority of the world’s population.

Yes, it’s fucked up, and I think it’s so fucked up that the writers will never have the guts to end it there. But it’s such a fascinating narrative. Everything comes full circle with Eren ending the story the same way he started it, only this time, he’s the monster. Eren’s character not changing, but our perception of him changing so drastically. I think that’s a great story.

Also ngl something something about the guilty pleasure of a power fantasy in which someone who has been beaten down and oppressed getting the opportunity to wipe out everyone who hurt them

But I’m going to call it a problematic opinion because I know how fandom is and this take probably makes me a genocide supporter or Nazi apologist or something based on the little snippets of AOT discourse I’ve been exposed to.

As for ships, don’t even ask lmao because to me, what I just talked about is what makes the story so compelling. Idgaf about who’s fucking who; it’s just one of those shows where I don’t care about romance.

Hazbin Hotel Headcanon Bundle #3

Third time’s the charm! Another batch of headcanons for our beloved characters!

CHARLIE

Charlie can handle spicy food. In fact, she loves that she can eat anything regarding the spice scale and not flinch while others tear up or refuse to even try.

Charlie has a stack of vintage photos of herself and her parents during her younger years stacked in a box under her hotel bed. She wanted to have some memorabilia from the times when she and her parents really got along.

While Charlie is definitely “The Sun” of the Hazbin cast, being that cheerful and trustworthy person who can help anyone. However, she has her self – loathing episodes. The sad thing is that she has a talent to hide those. Charlie does it so good, that nobody notices. Not even Vaggie, who Charlie trusts with her life, but can’t stand the thought of crumbling in front of her.

VAGGIE

Knows quite a few self – defense techniques, which she really wants to pass out to other sinners who are not capable of defending themselves.  

Without using any powers, weapons or special features, Vaggie would beat everyone in Hazbin in hand – to – hand combat fight.

Vaggie is “The Moon” of the Hazbin cast, being the one who is the least afraid to show their actual emotions and concerns. Although, sometimes Vaggie’s emotions get the best of her and she says or does things that are hurtful to others without actually meaning them. Apologies after the fact are really hard for Vaggie. She does not like being that vulnerable around others and, inside her head, thoughts about others thinking less of her because of admitting that she was wrong always linger in her mind.

ALASTOR

Is very sentimental about his life in the living world. Although it happened about a 100 years ago, Alastor remembers everything with hints of nostalgia, as if it happened yesterday. He often retorts that food, music, technology, people in general were better in the past compared to the present.

Albeit Alastor walks around wearing only monocle, he actually needs glasses. Not to the extent of him not seeing everything, but to notice smaller details in afar. He definitely has summoned his tentacle pits in the wrong place during his time more than a few times. Alastor just pretends that he wanted them there when in actuality his sight deceived him. Alastor does not have anything against glasses, it’s just that an Overlord with normal glasses does not really strike fear while monocle at least gives him class.

 Alastor is “The Eclipse” of the Hazbin cast, being the one to bring the most change and literal transformations to the hotel. The irony of that is the fact that Alastor hates changes. He likes the “good old way” of doing everything and refuses to at least listen to other, newer perspectives. If anyone dared to assume that the Radio Demon fears change, they would face their death quicker than they would finish that sentence. In actuality, indeed he does, but Alastor will rather die than admit it out loud.

ANGEL

When Angel gets angry or frustrated, he goes full “Italian mode” and won’t speak in English until he has calmed enough.

Although his life in Hell only offered Angel only one kind of acting, he would love to try something real. Nothing major, just something nice enough to let him express himself. Any role will do, preferably without any adult stuff. If somebody would give Angel the chance, they would find an excellent actor, hidden behind an adult film mask.  

Angel is “The Star” of the Hazbin cast, not everyone will admit but he is their positivity. Yeah, bit dirty but Angel is always there for others to offer a solution, joke to ease the tension, just to listen or give a loving hug. However, while Angel provides his unique way of comfort to his loved ones, he does not expect to get it in return. He has this deep – rooted belief that he is not worthy of love, kindness and warmth. Angel is quick to refuse such things, making others think that maybe he just prefers other kinds of love and gratitude for being there, but in reality, his soul seeks it, but it’s quickly quieted down by his mind.

HUSK

During his life as well as experiences in Hell, Husk has seen every side of the living – the riches, the middle class, the poor. He has been in every scenario, and that is why he is very versatile and content with any situation that life throws at him. Husk has really found the “Zen”.

Husk loves to escape from everyone, no matter it it’s a party, discussion of some sorts, movie night, work day, any occasion, really. It is not that Husk hates being around other sinners, he just values his alone time more. Occasionally, he will choose the hotel’s roof as a lonely place. Being there hidden behind a letter and watching the street life helps him to relax and just be in the moment without any worry.

Husk is “The Black Hole” of the Hazbin cast, absorbing everything he can in his mind. Husk is quite observant and a good listener, always noticing the smallest details in everyone. After someone vents to him, Husk more often than not will offer a helpful advice or ask if he can do anything for the person, which you could consider a small thank you for trusting him enough. (He could make a good therapist if he wanted to). Sadly, that does not mean that Husk will tell anyone about his true thoughts and feelings. He already knows that others have enough on their plate, so why would they want to hear about his hardships? Husk swore that he will never open up for any reason, and so far, that has been a case.

NIFFTY

Niffty’s secret passion is gardening. She did some of it while she was alive and when Charlie mentioned to have a little greenhouse on the furthest side of the hotel’s backyard, Niffty exploded with excitement. She was quick to occupy the premises, making it a little oasis for her to come and spend some time in peaceful solitude. Although Niffty prefers flowers over vegetables, she is still happy with her modified hobby.

She has everyone’s natal charts memorized. Niffty is into astrology, she can and will look into others’ personalities and life through planets, sighs and houses. Even if Niffty cannot acquire some information in need for a precise birth chart, she still tries to work with what she’s got.

Niffty is “The Venus” of the Hazbin cast, she loves love and everything that is connected to it. Niffty always tries to make other feel loved, for example, figuring out their love languages. She is awful at love herself, however. Niffty becomes too obsessed with anyone who shows a hint of interest, often leaving her broken hearted. No matter how many times this exact situation has happened, Niffty still repeats the same mistakes, not knowing any other way. She believes that love will find her someday and until then she has to spread it around for it.

👔 🎉🙄🌈🏙️ FOR ULRICH PLS <3

┊﹕⊹・YYEAHHH! MY TECHNICAL LEAD SON!!!

I've been waiting for the opportunity to talk about him more! I'll be writing some of these in a pre and post character arc sense since he tended to treat things vastly different before improving upon himself and interacting with the valley more.

(also sorry in advance, i have the tendency to ramble and this'll probably be long LOL)

🏙️ how was your farmer's life like before they moved to pelican town?

Before Ulrich moved to the valley, he lived in a rural village in Germany with his mother and sister! He was a bit of an overachiever and was always fixated on technology and how machines ran. I'd say before his father's passing his life was pretty rudimentary. In fact, he had what you could consider a fairytale-like childhood. His parents weren't perfect, but they both did the best for him.

After his dad passed, he found it difficult to cope. For years, he struggled with his mental health due to the event and found himself shutting down, away from the world in an attempt to escape from such a cruel reality.

Somewhere around his 20s he came to the conclusion that he wanted to start anew, give himself something else to focus on and change the direction of his life. He first moved to Downtown Zuzu and applied to Joja Corp for a technical position. After a few years of continued cooperation and effort on his part, he managed to receive the role of Technical Lead. He overworked and outperformed as best he could never quite learning how much he should've been taking on.

I actually imagine the initial reason for him moving to Pelican Town was due to him seeing opportunity in the area. It reminded him of his home town, and he wanted nothing more than to help them flourish. He wanted to make a name for himself, and wanted to prove efficient and competent in his field. He proposed to his HRs that he'd be able to enact a Joja Brand Tech Store within the small town, and sough to do just that.

👔 what do they think about morris?

Ulrich actually started off disliking Morris. He found him to be too absorbed in his own beliefs and too stubborn to deal with. Being a Technical Lead and all Ulrich is in charge of Technical Audits and keeping things in order in varying Joja Corporation buildings. Upon visiting and doing all the checks needed, he actually ended up having an argument with Morris over upgrades needing to be done and things needing to be fixed. They're both stubborn and unrelenting, so it goes on for ages. For what seemed like months their relationship was simple. They bicker at each other, Ulrich makes little off-handed elegant, yet teasy remarks and snide jabs, Morris retorts either with a smile or a scowl, they go on about their day.

After finding a middle ground between the both of them, Ulrich started tolerating him more. There was a part of him which held the man in the utmost regard. You could even say there was a part that was fond of him. But why? Perhaps it was that enthusiasm toward his goals which drew him in? Or maybe it was simply the passion lacing each word of his, waiting eagerly for someone to interject so that more could be added on. That toleration became admiration, and that admiration became blossoming feelings toward the man from the other department.

🎉 what is your farmer's favorite festival?

Dance of the Moonlight Jellies is by FAR his favorite festival out of all of the other festivals. Ulrich has a number of sensory issues and finds that other festivals are just too overwhelming for him to be at for long periods of time. At the Moonlight Jelly festival he finds he's able to stay for the entire duration without ending up having to make an excuse to beeline out of the situation. Plus, he has a fondness for the nature he's able to see.

🙄 do they have anyone they openly dislike? why?

Ulrich starts off as coming off as if he openly dislikes most people who interact with him. He can come off as dismissive and uncaring at first, but he generally tries to stay neutral toward the townsfolk.

With that being said, he 1000% dislikes Penny. He was fine with her initially, but after seeing how she treated George in her second heart event (or in this case, how she treated him while Ulrich happened to be walking by one day), his neutrality turned into open disdain. Especially since with a mobility aid, he's able to put himself in George's shoes. ESPECIALLY since telling her off caused a major friendship drain.

He also doesn't like Lewis in the slightest and finds him to be a pathetic excuse of a mayor.

🌈 how do they react when they find their first prismatic shard? what do they do with it?

During one of his many risky ventures into the mines, he'd unintentionally come across one after slaying a monster within the mines. Naturally, he'd react in pure astonishment, curious as to what the hell had happened. He's never been one to be considerably lucky, but would know what just happened to him was real fuckin' crazy. He'd probably keep it on display in his home, confused as to what to do with it.

His sister would be the one to tell him about some myth regarding the Galaxy Sword and he'd go to the pillars just to disprove such a ridiculous sounding thing. Imagine his shock when the sword dropped right in front of his feet.

Hi! Hope you're doing well! But may I ask for a matchup, please (matchups for both eras in HP, the MCU, and Stranger Things?) Thank you! <3 I'm 24 years old, aquarius sun/scorpio moon/gemini rising, INTP, slytherin with ravenclaw tendencies, biromantic asexual with a preference for guys and I go by she/her pronouns! I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and I have yet to get myself rediagnosed since my last diagnosis was like over 20 years ago so yeah. I'm currently in College taking up Bachelor of Multimedia Arts, Major in Animation!

I also stand about at 161.3 cm based on my last height take!

As for my personality, the thing is that I know more about the worst aspects of my personality but I'll try to start off with the good ones before spiraling down on that. POSITIVE TRAITS: For a start, I think of myself as someone who is kind, charming, strong, nice, humble and loyal. I like helping people out as much as possible and try to be open-minded and understanding since the world's already as wack as it is. I also like to think I'm pretty funny with some of my weird sense of humor but I'm usually sarcastic. I also stick to my personal opinions but I'm happy to learn from a mistake, if I'm being spoken to nicely and not yelled at. I would also do anything for my loved ones but I have a hard time showing it, I'm also very understanding and will stand up for what's right and fight someone for them and I won't hesitate to defend the person or call them out on their bullshit while remaining respectful. But that usually depends on the person, as much as possible, I try to be neutral.

My friends also designated me as the chaotic wine aunt/gremlin with minor mom friend moments but usually the chaotic wine aunt/gremlin friend. I also have a mischievous streak at times as well but nothing too big. I'm also smart, introspective, creative, ambitious, brave, determined and willing to change. I've been told that I always seem to speak with gentle words and that I bring positive energy to conversations. My best friend thinks I'm very clever and sly. NEGATIVE TRAITS: I've been told by some of my family members that I could be aloof and closed off from everyone (I mean there was a point in my life that my older sister said I was like Wednesday Addams) and because of this a lot of people think I have low EQ. I also spend a lot of time in my head than being well down with people and I always have this strong urge of proving people wrong. There are also times where I have to rely on other people's opinions to see who I really am because I don't know who I am at certain days. Often I'm also commonly perceived as someone who's either always grumpy or angry. I also have the mindset that no one will love me for me because of the fact that I have ADHD (but mostly this has something to do something my grandmother said to me as a young child). I'm very stubborn and too independent for my own good and I have this solid belief that I can do everything by myself but when in reality I just don't like asking people for help because I'm a bother to them or that its a sign of weakness and I don't like being seen as someone who is weak.

I also have the tendency to be sharp-tongued, forgetting about other people or doing certain things but I always say 'I'll do it later' but actually won't end up doing it eventually, pretending I'm okay but when in reality its not and just bottling everything inside of me until they come toppling over. There are also days where I would prefer the easy way out than the hard road taken and that I give advices out to people but I don't even follow them, I've also been told that I can be selfish and inconsiderate but I'm trying my best. I'm also very cynical and a high procrastinator who either is very cautious or too trusting of people that it becomes a mess.

I'm also very introverted and that I like love and the idea of it but I'm afraid that once I'm with someone, I might hurt them or I get hurt by them. I also don't like being compared to my father like it really gets to my nerves that someone says that. I also have this rebellious streak but not super rebellious. HOBBIES: I have like a LOT of them. My grandma says I'm a 'jack of all trades, master of none' Most of them are artistic exploitations such as drawing, listening to music or playing music since I have like instruments of my own like a ukulele, an electric piano, flute, writing, crafting or coming up with unique stuff on my own and constantly reinventing stuff I have or the stuff I hyperfixate on, cooking and reading, I also like learning about the occult and I usually dabble with divination and astrology and I collect stuff like funko pops and books but I'm usually seen on my phone and being on social media where I shit post memes to my friends and talking to them either joking about arson, doing petty crimes and etc. or I'm playing video games (Stardew Valley, The Sims 4, etc.) I'm also very particularly fond of learning about flower languages and symbolisms because I have this knack of like piecing things together like a big tapestry of sorts, like they don't mean something to the normal person but to me I could just as easily connect something small to something silly.

Thank you so much for requesting a matchup! I hope you enjoy them!! Sorry for the wait! <3

Harry Potter (Marauders);

Remus Lupin:

🐾 You met Remus in Hogwarts, but didn't become friends with him until after you both graduated; having bumped into each other again in a bookstore

🐾 You both bonded over your love for books, love for learning, and your love for the arts; Remus had mentioned to you that he thought you were a great artist from that one time at Hogwarts when he returned your sketchbook

🐾 After the meeting, Remus offered to buy you something to drink at the small cafe next door, you were a bit hesitant, thinking that your actions or what you say might scare him off, but you accepted his offer; though you were worried, Remus seemed to understand you better than anyone else

🐾 You didn't start dating for a long time, your thoughts getting the best of you in most situations, you were worried you'd hurt Remus in some kind of way, and you, yourself didn't want to get hurt in the process either; Remus though, as smart as he is, always seemed to see through you and always reassured you

🐾 One day, while the two of you were baking, Remus asked if you wanted to go on a date with him, you were a bit hesitant again, your mind thinking about your ADHD, but Remus was there to reassure you one more; he loved all of your quirks, he'd never do anything to harm you... He cared about you so much

🐾 It was slow, but you did begin to start dating, going on walks together, traveling, reading by the fire, and even teaching remus how to play some of your favorite video games; even knowing about his furry problem and insisting in helping him after a full moon

🐾 Sometimes when you're feeling particularly down in the dumps, Remus is always there for you, he'd drop anything and everything just to run to your side and try and help you; no matter how stubborn you got or how much you disliked being helped, he broke down your walls and was there for you; whether that be holding your hand and talking things out or just sitting beside you, just in your presence

🐾 As the years went on, Remus seemed to unlock more and more about you, your love for drawing and animation to your brilliant talent for playing the ukulele and flute; you were beyond amazing and a beautiful soul, he couldn't get enough of you

🐾 Sometimes on slow days, in your shared home, the two of you would just read books or write in front of the fire, enjoying the quiet and the peace, enjoying each other's presence; even sometimes trading books with one another and learning new things

🐾 You even joined Hogwarts as the new arts teacher, teaching longside your Remus when he taught DADA, the two of you would eat together at lunch, and Remus was always there if you needed him or vise versa; you two are the perfect match and Remus is so happy he had met you

--

Gilderoy Lockhart:

💞 You were just minding your own business, thinking and daydreaming in your mind as your walked through the cobbled streets of Diagon Alley on your way to your favorite book shop when you noticed that a certain author was present inside

💞 Gilderoy Lockhart was someone you had heard of before, even reading one of his books before you got slightly annoyed by his self-obsessing, egocentric, and narcissistic self-promotion; so finding him self-promoting in the book store you were entering was a bit... Eh

💞 But, you were a kind and understanding soul, maybe Gilderoy's actions and behavior was because of something from his past or someone had said something to him that had made him be so self-centered; so you kept an open mind about the man, and went on your merry way inside to find the newest edition of your favorite book series

💞 What you didn't know what that Gilderoy had noticed you enter, and was star-struck, captivated by you as you walked by to the point he didn't even call you out to try and get you get buy his new book; he didn't even offer you an autograph; star-struck he was

💞 As you were leaving the bookstore, having purchased your new books, you were finally stopped by the blondie, (somehow he snapped out of his admiring thoughts of you enough to finally speak to you); that's when he offered you a book of his... For free (how could you pass that up?)

💞 That's when he asked for your name, you awkwardly/hesitantly answering before he autographed the inside cover of the thick book and even a picture of himself for good measure; he even tried his hand at asking if you were free for dinner, and you politely declined before thanking him for the book, and leaving

💞 When you go home, you opened the cover to read the inscription, you cheeks feeling a bit flush when you found that Gilderoy had written a full poem for you, about you even; you had to admit it was a sweet sort of odd gesture, but you didn't really know what to think really

💞 You couldn't stop thinking about the poem that he had written for you, so much that when you were heading back to the bookstore after finishing your new book and in need of another, your brain replayed the poem often; it was also just your luck when he was in the bookstore that day again

💞 What you didn't expect was some random guy screeching at the poor author about how narcissistic he was, and you hated yelling and fights especially when the antagonist was being so mean for really no reason; so you broke up the fight, telling the guy off for just being plain rude and to leave Gilderoy alone; and when I tell you gilderoy had heart eyes, he had heart eyes

💞 Gilderoy thanked you once the man and the small crowd dissipated, finally being honest and somewhat humble when he spoke, and that was when you built up the courage and pushed away the nerves to ask if he wanted to join you for lunch; of course he said yes

--

Bruce Banner:

👨🏻‍🔬 You were part of the Avengers, having amazing powers and intelligence to match, Steve Rogers actually recruited you for the team after you bumped into the Super Soldier at a museum; you were a bit hesitant at first, but you agreed to join them, at least for a little while

👨🏻‍🔬 But the thought of helping others from aliens and baddies was the real reason you decided to stay at the tower as one of the Avengers; you loved helping others especially from wrongdoers, and with your powers, being able to save others came easily

👨🏻‍🔬 When you weren't out on the field or helping in missions, you were in the lab with Tony and Bruce; from the way you sometimes acted aloof or a bit closed off, some of the Avengers, I won't name who, thought you weren't really that smart; you fooled them when you were able to calculate equations as if it was second nature for you - which shocked them immensely

👨🏻‍🔬 They also found your art skills fascinating, even little Peter Parker asking if you could draw him with eight legs; no matter how odd the request was, you drew it for the kid and he loved it

👨🏻‍🔬 Working in the lab, you dealt with Tony being somewhat of a nuisance and Bruce, being the sweet and shy guy that he was; you slowly bonded with the two of them, moreso Bruce than Tony (though you sarcasticness and mischievousness did clash well with the Iron Man)

👨🏻‍🔬 As said, you grew close to Bruce, finding him to be a loyal and understanding friend; to a point in your friendship though, you began to grow feelings for the man which was a bit nerve-racking to say the least

👨🏻‍🔬 You kept quiet about it, keeping your feelings in your mind as you did your best to pretend everything was alright; at some point Bruce even asked if you were alright, and you said that you were, but you weren't; your mind constantly raced with insecurity

👨🏻‍🔬 Bruce thought felt the same way, he thought you were incredibly smart and charming; even some of your jokes made him laugh, to Tony's dismay

👨🏻‍🔬 Now you two didn't start dating for a long while, thought that didn't stop the two of you from getting coffee together at cafes or some brunch at the diner down the street; you and Bruce spent hours talking about astrology, divination, and even flower language

👨🏻‍🔬 Thought it took a bit of adjusting, understanding, and trust, and in the end the two of you were more than just best friends :)

--

Steve Harrington:

😎 You went to college for Multimedia Arts a whole state away when you met Steve Harrington, for some reason he had decided to drive to another state just to get away for awhile

😎 You both ran into each other at a diner with your friends, he accidently spilled his drink on you and profusely apologized to you, offering to literally go out and buy you a new shirt or something, he even went out of his way to even give your his jacket to wear; when you tried to give it back to him, he refused, shaking his head, it was yours know

😎 Steve then gave you his number so he could do something to repay you while he was in town, you took it, though you felt a bit unsure at first

😎 Your friends were supportive and even encouraged you to meet up with Steve, thinking that he might be a good match for you, you had the strong urge to prove them wrong... But they were right

😎 You awkwardly called Steve with the support of your friends, and Steve asked if you wanted to go to an art diner, you accepted and you were surprised to see Steve with a clothing bag in his hand, he gave it to you and it was a new shirt; you couldn't help but smile

😎 The two of you ate at the art diner, before wandering the upstairs where you both looked at all the art from people in the community, which inspired you greatly; the two of you even spoke about your interests, it was hard in the beginning but it got better

😎 After three months of meeting up with Steve at diners or parks, he asked you out on a real date, and shyly, you said yes; it was a fun date at an arcade and a nice dinner afterwards

😎 Steve felt nervous around you, all the time, he really, really liked you; he loved how caring, strong, creative, and funny you were, and you liked Steve a lot too, from his sarcasm, bravery, to his hair

😎 When Steve had to leave back to Indiana, you tried to hide your disappointment, but Steve said that he'd call you when he could and he kept his promise, calling you almost every night and when he was busy he always made sure to call at least once or twice a week

😎 You missed him a lot, but both you and Steve had planned to meet each other again during breaks and vacations, and you couldn't wait

i think the problem with sakura is that she’s a main character with the relevancy of a side character, she’s more like a plot device (5ks) and much less interesting than naruto, sasuke and kakashi.

i think there are things to be said about how sakura is underutilized in places esp wrt the political undercurrent of the series that naruto and sasuke are so entrenched in but i don't think i would go so far as to say she's lacking in import to the point she functions as a plot device.. her position is unique within the team bc she comes from an utterly normal background and has to contend with an onslaught of trauma and decide how to react to it as her ideals and relationship with being a ninja develop. she's not ridiculously overpowered nor is she the descendent to a family irrevocably tied to the roots of the land, so figuring out what it is that she wants to stand for and believe in is something that takes time, and it's why her position as a healer is ultimately important. she has no real history with the political progression of the village so her aversion to using violence as an all-encompassing solution isn't simply emblematic of a traditional feminine role within the world but also represents a greater ideal in that she refuses to give into the cycle that keeps so many of the characters in naruto trapped in a never-ending political scheme of proxy wars facilitated by warring states for the sake of profit. her normalcy is what renders her revolutionary as a character. she's the one character who more than anything beats back against the current of violence and nihilism with an unwavering belief in people and desire to see them heal rather than give into violence themselves. she doesn't even have a complete picture of what's been happening behind the scenes of konoha's history and yet she knows enough to resist that systemic violence being perpetuated around her

that's what makes her decisions in the kage summit arc so interesting. that's more or less the breaking point for every member of team seven and yet despite all of that pressure and despair closing in around her, despite her attempts to go against the grain of everything she's believed in up until that point - that getting through to sasuke is viable, that letting naruto drive himself crazy over it is even worth something - she still hesitates with the kunai in the end bc it's not her. it's never been her. she's never been able to give up on the people she cares about. in the moment it might look like a pathetic thing and like she's nothing more than the sad reactionary to naruto and sasuke's whims, but i think it's actually a quite powerful depiction of who sakura is at the core and who she refuses to stop being. her unwavering faith in people isn't a weakness, rather it's one of her greatest strengths. bc she survives this entire ordeal - these five years of grueling trauma and separation and war - without compromising her own values. and i suppose some people view that as a weakness bc they're only viewing it from a shipping perspective and feel like sakura is made to wait for some guy with serious problems to love her back. but when you understand her actions and beliefs in context of naruto as a political work about the cycle of violence then i think she's an incredibly compelling character, bc in the end, she's right to not give into the violence and to not turn her back on sasuke. she knows better than anyone that what's wrong with him isn't even entirely up to him despite her knowing so little about his background (and the same can apply to naruto along a different vein). she knows there are reasons for the way people change and her compassion and empathy allow her to stand by them with the belief that they can still make it out okay, which, when you set it against the backdrop of state heads using ninja like pawns of violence they don't give a damn about, i think it's quite significant

The reader gets to experience two sides of the climate spectrum here. First, we start with Willa’s childhood. Parents, who I would say are far-right conspiracy theorists, who only view the negative that nothing can be done to stop the apocalypse and that you should only focus on yourself and your small family, when the time of the end of the world comes. In most literature that I have read, we always see things from a leftist perspective, now I may not agree with a far-right point of view, but I do want to read from all standpoints and see people who have different beliefs than my own. Later on, in Willa’s life, we see her meet Roy Adams and his local of Camp Hope, Adams is an optimist, he is trying to prevent climate change or make it easier for the people who will go through it. To Willa, this is the complete opposite of what she has known, and it intrigues her, gives her hope in the world.

Willa is a character who grew up in isolation. She seeks out other people to compensate for the lack of relationships with other people in her childhood and teenage years. Rather this be, following her cousins, with their crazy schemes throughout the city, stalking a Harvard professor until she becomes her closest companion, or flying to the Caribbean to join a somewhat cult to stop climate change. Very unique character work.

If we think back to Willa’s childhood, growing up in a secluded cabin, in the middle of nowhere New Hampshire; that makes me want a book with that atmosphere. Yes, we do get bits and pieces in flashbacks but that would play into a really cool story in itself. Boston, it was like you would expect it to be. The Bahamas, Camp Hope, very intriguing, especially as someone who had been to the Bahamas, and not for vacation purposes. It was very easy to picture and just overall fascinating at the thought of someone making a camp or compound like Camp Hope.

The writing is what I marked the most of in my experience annotating ‘Eleutheria’. There are positives and negatives. At first, I had no idea how this writing would be for me, I knew that I was either going to love it or hate it, well, I fell in the middle of that. The quotes lack actual quotation marks, but I never had a hard time telling who was speaking. This is the first time a book that I have read has been successful with that. Another thing, at the start, the author seemed so focused on making the writing sound poetic or metaphoric. I could not help but roll my eyes at some of the comparisons. However, as the book progressed, it became easier and easier to read and I started underlining more and more quotes. That being said, some of the paragraphs were beautiful and had great commentary on the society we live in and are going towards.

That leads us into the plot. The first plot point that I will focus on is how Americans view climate change and really anything in the world that is not at our front door. A lot of us, Americans, don’t seem to care what is happening in other parts of the world. We just scroll on by and say something like “Oh, that sucks.” and just go on to the next post but no, most really don't care unless it is right in their backyard threatening their actual way of life. This can be said for a lot of first world countries in the Western Hemisphere. It was just great to see this brought up and how no matter the number of protests and petitions are done, most of the time nothing is actually done to fix the issue. Hyde, the author, just goes to show the morals, or lack thereof, that go behind so many campaigns on making the world a better place or just social movements in general. Just great, great commentary on the political climate around us and how it is truly all messed up. I highly recommend picking this book up for the ideas and themes that are presented.

The reader gets to experience two sides of the climate spectrum here. Very unique character work. If we think back to Willa’s childhood, growing up in a secluded cabin, in the middle of nowhere New Hampshire; that makes me want a book with that atmosphere. The setting was very easy to picture and just overall fascinating at the thought of someone making a camp or compound like Camp Hope. The writing is what I marked the most of in my experience annotating ‘Eleutheria’. That being said, some of the paragraphs were beautiful and had great commentary on the society we live in and are going towards. I highly recommend picking this book up for the ideas and themes that are presented.

I don’t know why this had to be my life. I don’t know why I had to be born with so much wrong with me, I don’t know why I had to be born in an area that is so behind and so close-minded, I don’t know why I’ve had to be so alone. I don’t think I should keep doing this though, I know that. It’s not worth it. I’m in so much pain and I’m getting nothing out of being alive. I think this could be different if I had someone in my life, whether that was a friend or a partner or something, I don’t know. But I don’t. I don’t have anyone at all. I have been so, so isolated for the past six years as well. I can’t do this anymore.

I wish I could develop religious or spiritual beliefs, because I think it would actually be really beneficial for me. I’d always feel like someone/something is there, but I’ve never been able to convince myself of anything like that.

I wish I felt better about myself, but I can’t convince myself that I’m good, that I’m okay, that I’m acceptable as a person. It feels like too much of a lie, because I know I’m not. I know that I’ve just been a loser for years, and that’s probably all I’m capable of ever being.

I don’t feel like I should be here. I don’t feel like I should be in this world at all. I’ve been trying to leave it since I was a kid-that’s all I’ve ever wanted. It really does feel like there was some kind of mix up.

Yes, there are things about being alive that are positive, but it’s not enough. I’m too far gone for anything to be truly helpful. I wish I wasn’t so afraid of the possibilities of what can happen after death, so I could just get it over with already. I wish I could know if you’re actually at peace. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since I was young.

It has always been incredibly painful for me to be alive. Everything just hurts me more than it seems to hurt other people. And I’ve been made to feel bad about that. I’m so easy to step on, I’m so easy to just take down. You don’t even have to try.

There is nothing more pleasant than when my head just shuts off, when it’s just blackness, and I can barely even think. There is seriously nothing better in the world than that. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Nothing matters. Nothing exists. I barely even exist. I’ve wanted to get rid of my physical self for as long as I can remember; I have no connection to it. I have no connection to anything that is supposed to matter to me.

I wish I could figure out why I’m here. I don’t think I’m here just because I was born; I really do believe there’s more to life than that. And I’m trying to figure out if this was like a choice I made, or what. I’m aware that doesn’t make rational sense, but, I don’t know, I’m just trying to make sense of all of this. I wish there was something or someone that could give me guidance, or something. I just want to get an idea of what the point of any of this is.

There’s nothing anyone can tell me that helps, I do know that. Because nothing anyone says changes anything about my situation. Nothing anyone says allows me to leave my house the way I’d like to, nothing anyone says makes the OCD less severe, nothing anyone says brings better people into my life. And for some reason, in terms of how awful I feel about my appearance and all that, it really does not matter what anyone else says that goes against it. I have known I’m fat and ugly since I was a kid. I wish I had it in me to actually put effort into changing that, but for some reason, I never have. Again, because it just feels like something I can’t do. Like…I just cannot care about my physical self in that way. There’s some kind of disconnect there; there always has been.

There’s just a major disconnect between the rest of the world and me, with everything. And it really, really feels like I shouldn’t be here. I feel like I’m not even a human.

12/5/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

2 Corinthians 5 - 9

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm Jill. Today is the fifth day of December, welcome everybody. It is so great to be here with you today. truly an honor and a privilege to be reading the word of God for all of us, with all of you. and it's a privilege that I don't take lightly, and so I thank you for allowing me to be here and I thank you for being here with me. and I thank you for setting this time aside to be intentional in the word of God. to allow him to speak to your heart, to allow your mind to be renewed, your spirit to be refreshed, and maybe even a good dose of news that hurts, but what we do with that hurt is most essential. we can disregard it, dismiss it, avoid it and it'll come out one way or the other. We can mask it, we can bring comfort with bolts comforters to bring temporary relief or we could sit with the ouch and ask the Holy Spirit to come and heal us and change us and cause us to go in a different direction. And then let's end on something positive. Maybe it will encourage us, Lift Our Heads, lift our spirit and say to us that which exactly what we need to get through today. So I pray maybe it does all of those things as we hear, as we listen, as we see, and as we open our hearts. continuing second Corinthians today, chapters 5 through 9, long reading and this week. we're reading the Christian Standard Bible, Second Corinthians chapter 5. 

Commentary

It would be a miss if I didn't pull such an important question from today's reading that I also find in the God of Your Story, which is an incredibly beautiful resource if you haven't picked it up. it's a devotional that accompanies the Daily reading and I use it as a beautiful resource a lot of days. Brian who is a Craftsman with words, has the ability to bring protein pack to words with the least amount of words that count, and that make sense. and so pulling from that today, in our reading from Second Corinthians, Paul encourages us to consider how we are attempting to blend what and never be in harmony. and this is chapter 6 verses 14 through 16, and I'm going to continue on right there. For Paul this was a massive issue attempting to have one foot in darkness, and the other in the light, was nothing more than unhealthy contamination of Sons and Daughters of the most high. Why would we do that? Why do we put it in the vernacular of Ecclesiastes from our Old Testament reading, this is nothing more than chasing the wind it's meaningless. Paul encourages us to cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit, and in doing so to work toward complete Holiness because we fear God. I'll bring a full admission, I think this passage has confused me at times thinking about mixing. I have read it thinking well then you avoid the unbeliever, you avoid people who have a difference in denominational beliefs, or just conviction. doesn't that go against who Jesus was, of what Jesus taught I believe in my own understanding and I would argue that the deeper meaning here is not Association, but participation. when we say that we believe one thing and then we participate in the very thing that we say we stand against, or that we do take a stand. again we may be striving in one place for righteousness, and in the very next moment participating. and sometimes for reasons we don't even know why, or see but participating in the very things that are Unholy unrighteous, which according to the word defiles are very spirit separation. To be separate from the world to me means, do not participate and sometimes we have to stop and take a very conscientious inventory, a very conscientious look at our actions. are they matching our words, because words are meaningless if our actions are giving. Speaking of a very different message I would love to say that all of this is revelation from the Holy Spirit, without actual participation myself that is not the case. and I think sometimes where we can get so tripped up is once we are aware, what do we do with that? Do we get stuck in shame? Do we run and hide in our shame and dim ourselves? or do we run toward repentance into the loving arms of a loving father who said, I will walk among them and I will be their God and they will be my people. I will be a father to you and you will be my sons and daughters. to me says the Lord Almighty we know that impurity either has to be burned out or has to be cleansed out. What, there is a process to it? a very intentional process. we can never become pure by avoiding the thing that causes the impurity. we have to be. Does it and oftentimes it's a process and we have to give ourselves to the things that will help us. and sometimes that process is really hard. but what we know is that God will never leave us, you will never forsake us. He will never turn his back on us. and so I would encourage us to consider these words and allow space for the Holy Spirit to speak. 

Prayer

Jesus, thank you for being here with us today. thank you that you are with us, never leaving us, never forsaken us. and I pray that our good intentions would be more than intentions, they would be actions because we are choosing to participate in our own stories consciously and intentionally seeking righteousness so that the world in need the world, who has lost their way the world that is mostly hopeless, would see the light in us, and it would shine and Scatter the darkness, but our lives bring hope to the Hopeless. and may love abound. pray this now in the name of the father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen. 

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible, that is home base. check it out if you haven't. that's the website where anything you want to know you can know, that's also the free app that you can download. Speaking of app, if you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, there are several different ways for you to do so. if you are giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996 Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174. or utilizing that app hit the give icon up at the top right hand corner. and lastly look for the give icon on the website. For many of us, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, talking about Christmas time. If you would like to be a part of the Christmas initiative to help with all of the beautiful changes taking place in technology, you can find that on the website as well, but you can give a $25 minimum donation and receive one of five vinyl albums. That is taking place exclusively here on Daily Audio Bible at Christmas time the Five albums include Sleep, Heart, Christmas Time by Maxwell Harden, Family Christmas album, and Promised Land the soundtrack. Of course you can purchase all five albums, $25 a piece, or you can select one of five ways, one of them, two albums, three, four, all five. and lastly if you would love to be a part of the Daily Audio Bible virtual Christmas party, there's still time for you to call in, or use your mobile device to call in your Christmas greeting. What a beautiful time for this community to come together and hear from one another. people that you have prayed for, people that you have prayed with, people you have rejoiced with, have wept with, literally all over the globe. and so that open window will come to a close. jump on that while you can. That's going to do it for me today, I'm Jill, we’ll turn the page together tomorrow, until then, love one another. 

Community Prayer Line

And Darren Valentine her husband and Daniel's friend, yes I am here with the Fresno angels. and I want to share a real brief because I can't give you the full story. If you want the full story you can probably read it on the DABC page. but as I went to visit D2, God would have it that he was not ready to come out for the visit, but God would also have it that I had an incredible opportunity to do a little Ministry with a young man of 20 years Young, and his mother. and it was absolutely incredible how the Lord intervened and orchestrated that whole situation, and I tell you God really just showed up in that place and he comforted my heart he grabbed my heart because he knew had I walked away with no kind of deposit it would have been a different day. I believe but he allowed it to turn out differently and I bless his name and so just want to encourage all you moms and dads out there that are proud of those people behind bars to know that God has not forgotten them. as this young man seems to have thought and so I just want to encourage your heart to know when God closes one door he always opens another. so family be encouraged, as I sign off with the Fresno angels. have a blessed day. bless you family One beloved daughter and her friend David come to you today, and I thank you so much for one beloved daughter. I thank you that she is your beloved and I thank you that she has become a beloved part of our community and our family. Lord, I Thank you for her faithfulness to call in to pray for people and ask for prayer for friends and family. and Lord she even ran out of time talking in requesting prayer for her friend to be able to give her time to speak on her need. and so Lord I'm bringing her to you and placing her in your hands and saying Lord you know the details of whatever it was she might have asked for for herself. and I'm asking you to rein Supreme as you always do in her life and in her situation and then lowered her friend David this poor man he's got a lot going on in this life, Lord. and most important most horrific part of her tired laid out situation is the fact that he's lost to you Lord. and Lord right now he has a diagnosis that's possibly leading to the end of this Mortal life and Lord I just ask him beg please did you draw him to you that the you use these situations bring people into his life to speak your message Lord to him speak to his heart. open it and soften it and draw him to you hoping to realize that you are the only source of comfort and peace and salvation that he is able to get via this life or they have to live in Jesus did there's no way he's going to survive any of it without you. but Lord I also ask please touch his body to help him as he deals with his chemotherapy and all the horrificness that goes with it and all the things he may have going on in his world. Lord, thank you, praise you love you, God bless you. 

Hello hello this is walking in truth from Florida and I just wanted to call in and pray over our marriages. Lord God I am so thankful for the gift of marriage, and what a beautiful picture it is. oh Lord God that wouldn't you created this institution you already knew that you were going to model this after Christ the bridegroom and his beautiful bride the church. and Lord God I thank you that you created man and woman not to be alone. and that you created help me in the form of a spot a spouse and to create this beautiful thing called the family. and so Lord God I know the enemy is seeking to destroy marriages all over the world and just more that beautiful picture and look at marriage is hard. We take two different, two different people wired completely differently with different life experiences and tell them to become one flesh, and it is difficult at times. and I just pray Lord God, that you would not allow the enemy to tear our marriages apart. that you would strengthen each one of us Lord God in our resolve to get it right and our marriage would be greater than the temptation to give in and give up. and Lord God I pray that each spouse would have a heart and an attitude that seeks to live right by you and and do things your way. that we wouldn't be selfish, that we would be serving and loving like you did, and Lord God I just ask this in your name Jesus. 

A Child Is Listening: A Reflective Essay from the film "Prayers for Bobby"

Prayers for Bobby is a televised drama film that premiered on the Lifetime network on January 24, 2009. The movie is based on Leroy F. Aarons' book of the same name, which is based on the life and legacy of Bobby Griffith, a gay teen who perished in 1983 as a result of his mother's prejudice. Bobby Griffith is portrayed by Ryan Kelley, and Mary Griffith is portrayed by Sigourney Weaver. The film received positive reviews from critics and was nominated for various academy awards.

The challenges of being a homosexual in a traditional family were explored in the movie. Tragically, the events depicted in the film are still occurring today. There are still individuals who like Bobby Griffith. The family's favorite grandchild, Bobby, later came to terms with his homosexuality, which caused him to drift away from his religious family. I observed at the beginning of the movie that everyone is homophobic, starting with her grandmother. I came to understand that it's possible to embrace someone else's beliefs after spending a lot of time with them. even more so if it is your parent.

They are one of the persons who are molding you while you are still learning, growing, and exploring. Mary's homophobia, in my opinion, resulted from both her reading of the Bible and the family she was up in. She was raised by a homophobic mom. She aged like it. Due to his homophobic environment, Bobby developed the belief that being gay is a sin. Your attitude is shaped by the people you surround yourself with.

It is hard when your own parents do not value your individuality and discourage you from being yourself because they want you to at least resemble them. Sometimes, parents can be so selfish and thoughtless. This film really demonstrates that religion shouldn't be a justification for making other people miserable; rather, it should be a roadmap to becoming a better version of yourself. It is not irreverent or, God forbid, anti-religious. It is a message that includes God's genuine teachings for everyone who decides to follow him.

If I were to connect my circumstances to Kulber-Ross's Stages of Grief, I would begin with Denial. At this point, we often want to escape the circumstances we find ourselves in and fantasize instead. I could identify with this since there have been instances when I have chosen to ignore reality and simply exist in a bubble in an effort to feel better. I would simply lie in bed all day and do nothing in the hopes that my issues would disappear. Anger is the next stage. I can kind of connect to this because there have been times when I've vented my rage on something in an effort to feel better. The third stage is Bargaining, during which you regret it and wish it would never happen. I can still clearly remember praying to God for signs that would help me overcome my issues and understand why they had to arise in the first place. Depression is the fourth stage, where you withdraw from others and question whether you really want to live. To be completely honest, I would not claim that I have actually experienced this at this point because my depression runs deeper than we initially thought. Acceptance is the final stage, where you regain the will to live and accept the circumstances, the point at which you accept the new reality and move on.

This movie is about how important it is for people to accept and love us for who we are. It showed how some parents completely lack preparation for family life and cause devastation around them. Not all parents deserve the children they have. This movie illustrates the damage that ignorance creates. This film has given me a lot to think about, and I think all parents and even teenagers should watch it. There are a lot of Janes and Bobbys in the world. May they all be surrounded by more kind and understanding individuals who will encourage them to develop and thrive. Homosexuality is not a disease to be cured. 

"Change is not something you can avoid or pretend is not there, We all need to embrace it and faced it head-on." - Jay Shetty

Using the Power within Positive Thinking to Change Your Life

If you learn nothing else in life but the power within positive thinking, this one simple essential can unlock typically the desires of your current heart. You could live the life span regarding your dreams. Should you stay with myself, I'll inform you specifically how to obtain the strength in good thinking. More than Just a Beneficial Believed Most people don't understand it takes more than just a good believed here and generally there to change their globe. The catch is that we all are already "programmed" by our earlier caretakers, without the knowledge. Whatever limits they have, they may have passed about to us. Best Bodybuilding Routines creates havoc using positive thinking, if the subconscious idea contradicts good considered. When that occurs, typically the subconscious belief wins out every period. Why? Because the subconscious is ninety times better. Throughout fact, 90% of our interaction with our world comes through the subconscious brain, without you actually being aware involving it. Positive thinking works when paired with positive emotions. To understand regardless of whether your positive views are having a great impact on your own desires is to check in with your "feelings. " If you aren't feeling good, upwards, and happy, nicely that's your best concept that you're to normal. What Happens Whenever You're Feeling Along? But when you end up feeling off, depressed, or virtually any of the "negative" feelings, then this kind of is definitely an indication that you are devoid of positive thoughts the other else is planning on. The best way to keep positive thoughts is to have gratitude for everything that is happening in your own life, both negative and positive. Have you ever noticed that when you're conversing with somebody who is upset or angry, in the event you offer him or her no resistance and just point out "ok, " his or her anger or negative thoughts disappears? This will be the way typically the universe works along with you as nicely. It's when you resist or push against what is occurring in your life, that you start to feel the outcomes. Should you glimpse the negative situation in your life as an opportunity rather than a problem, you will find yourself in a significantly better shooting position with the desires. Put typically the Power in Positive Considering To put the power in to positive thinking properly requires effort. If you develop a behavior of paying consideration to the approach that your opinions for the next 30 days no less than, and even pay attention to your feelings you can make a selection to believe something else and overcome your current negative thoughts. If you notice a negative experience creeping in, merely switch your thinking to something that makes you feel great. The majority associated with the people on the globe are victims of the views. They don't understand that they can change what they are thinking by simply refocusing their thoughts into a topic that brings these people joy. In order to understand how to set the power inside positive thinking and even get it to be effective for you with out much effort go to the link below.

alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg? 

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great!  Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao 

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))