#a way to a man’s heart? through the stomach
Text
HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]
your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.
———————————————————————
[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader
[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au
[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)
[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!
[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33
———————————————————————
six months.
you haven't seen this door in six months.
it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.
your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.
or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.
the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.
pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.
more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.
finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.
"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.
now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-
"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"
if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.
standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.
jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).
his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.
apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.
everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.
while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?
"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"
you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.
you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.
c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-
"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.
jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-
"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"
you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.
he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.
"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."
you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.
he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.
the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"
"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."
✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧
the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.
jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.
the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.
he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.
"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.
"let's just get this over with."
with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.
within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."
you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."
your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.
you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."
"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.
jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.
while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".
"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.
somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.
you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.
you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.
you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.
she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.
he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"
"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.
sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."
once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"
you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.
it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.
you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.
finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".
wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."
"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."
in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.
"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"
you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.
of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.
the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.
snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.
jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.
you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.
while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"
he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."
it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.
he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.
from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."
"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"
realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"
"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"
"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.
by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."
you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.
the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.
"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"
your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.
after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.
jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.
you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.
hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.
"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.
"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"
you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."
jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.
"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.
this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.
you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.
it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.
at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"
she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."
little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".
"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.
your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."
the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.
"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."
you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."
with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."
you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."
as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"
it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.
the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.
you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.
your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.
you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.
"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.
"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."
he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.
he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."
if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."
your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"
smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.
but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.
you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.
"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"
he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”
you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.
"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.
you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.
you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.
any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.
upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.
"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.
she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.
"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"
this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.
the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.
the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.
your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.
you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.
you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.
she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."
she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.
when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"
oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".
"what do you mean, cutie?"
you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.
she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"
"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"
"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"
you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–
"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."
you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.
it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.
once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.
the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.
ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."
he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.
"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.
"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."
the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.
the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.
part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.
you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.
"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."
he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.
but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."
he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.
you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.
"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."
perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.
"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."
you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.
"jaehyun, i know, i just–"
"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"
there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.
"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."
the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.
the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.
you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.
"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."
that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.
"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.
"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair," it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."
he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."
"i know, jaehyun-"
"then, tell me."
you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.
"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."
your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.
"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.
"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.
"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."
his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.
the car moves so slow it may as well be still but when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."
you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.
"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.
"what do you mean?"
"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."
you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."
he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.
he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."
you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.
it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."
your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.
"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."
it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."
like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."
"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"
he nods.
"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."
he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."
you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."
you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.
"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.
it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?
you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."
he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"
you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"
you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.
jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.
"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."
he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.
not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.
he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.
"so–"
"well–"
you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.
"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.
"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."
he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"
maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."
you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.
"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."
thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"
"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."
there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.
"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"
"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."
you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.
"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."
it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."
he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.
"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."
"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"
you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."
the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.
"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.
his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."
silence.
you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.
you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.
your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."
you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.
the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."
the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."
you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.
he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"
you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.
you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”
keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.
with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."
his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.
his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.
if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.
nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."
you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."
he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.
"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."
he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”
"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"
"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.
the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.
you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.
you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.
"i think i'd love to come in."
#nct x reader#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun#jaehyun angst#jaehyun smut#nct angst#nct oneshot#nct smut#nct fic#nct fluff#nct scenarios#nct au#nct imagines#nct reactions#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun fic#jaehyun drabbles#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun au#jaehyun oneshot#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun timestamps#kpop#kpop smut#kpop angst#kflixnet#nct 127 smut#nct 127 angst#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 fic
471 notes
·
View notes
Text
Relentless
Your newlywed husband, Colin, helps you get to bed.
tags/content warnings: 2.2k words | f!reader pov | husband!Colin | smut | light biting | pregnancy mention | hickeys | c*nnulingus | PinV
“Mrs. Bridgerton. Why on earth are you up at this hour?” Colin’s low, gravelly voice was heard as he crouched down to sit beside you.
You were sat on the floor beside your chamber’s window. You found yourself rather restless that night and you did not wish to disturb your husband’s slumber so you took a book and used the moonlight to illuminate the pages.
“I could not sleep, but please do not let me prevent you from getting rest. I shall complete my novel, then return soon,” You said with your eyes still glued to the book.
Colin had his eyes on your night dress and how the sleeves of it ever so slightly were falling off your shoulders.
"Ah, but how can I possibly go back to sleep now when the sight of you sitting there, scantily dressed, is driving me wild?" He teased in a low voice.
His large hand was warm and rough as it brushed over the curve of your bare shoulders.
“Do you not tire of engaging in marital activities? We have already done them thrice today,” You brought the book up to cover your blushing face then leaned into his touch.
He slowly pulled the book from your hands, closed it, then tossed it across the floor. Colin’s smirk widened as he drew her closer, your back to his stomach.
“Not ever. I must make sure that you thoroughly enjoy these activities.” Colin began to plant a smattering of kisses upon your bare shoulders and up your neck.
“Please, darling, I am exhausted. I would just like to relax now,” You gave a whiny plea jokingly. You reached back and lovingly scratched the back of his neck. You wished you had the willpower to shoo him away. Colin smirked. There was no possible way he could get back into bed with his wife sat next to him in such a state of undress.
"Ah, but how can I possibly go back to sleep now when the sight of you sitting there, scantily clad, is driving me wild?" He teased in a low voice.
“Is a sturdy man such as yourself capable of being that soft?” you teased, playfully swatting at him before attempting to get back to the book.
Colin sat upright and swiftly swept her up into his arms, cradling you close to his chest. He made sure to have a firm grip as he stood up, his gaze trained firmly on his wife in his arms. Before you knew what was occurring, he had taken you back into your chamber and gently laid you down on the bed.
His hand rested at the side of her head as he hovered over you. “I’m very capable of being that soft with you, my love. Only for you,”
“I admire your duplicity. A strong, rugged traveler to most of the world but to me, you are just my Colin,” You raked a hand through his fluffy chestnut hair as he hovered over you. His gaze was soft and tender as he smiled.
“A strong, rugged traveler whose knees admittedly become weak when he sees you,” He mused gently as he leaned in and kissed your lips softly, his hand cradled your chin gently. If he were not so charming, you would call him out on his cheeky comment.
“Stop all your fussing now, let us sleep,” You whined with a laugh as you guided his head to lay on your chest. Your heartbeat soothed him as if it were a lullaby.
His ear pressed against your chest, hearing your heart and breathing certainly made him feel calm and relaxed, but he wanted to hear you moan more than anything.
“I’m afraid I shall be waking you often if you do not allow me your attention,” he nuzzled into you, peppering your skin with light kisses as his hand roamed across. His hand gently cupped your breast, his thumb brushed softly over the nipple and he felt your breath hitch.
“Darling… you are relentless,” You said in a breathy tone, unable to deny his touch any longer.
Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it lightly as your body writhed under him.
“Keep this up and we’ll have an heir by next season. Maybe another on the way,” you whispered, slowly losing the ability to keep up with his banter as you lost yourself to the feeling of his warm mouth on you. Colin pulled away and hovered above you, his eyes a dark shade of indigo as lust burned in them intensely.
“That’s the plan, darling,” Colin mumbled against your skin. Your breathy tone was working him up and he knew he couldn’t stop himself. As he cupped your breast, he softly bit down on the other. You hissed from the slight jolt of pain and pleasure it caused.
“Colin! Stop, you must not leave marks. I am to go to the modiste tomorrow with your mother, she will surely see it,” You scoffed humorously, unable to believe he’d just done that.
He raised his head and chuckled at you when you warned him. “Would you believe me, darling, if I told you it was an accident?” He teased. You glared at him briefly, further warning him. He kissed gently over the reddened skin he’d made.
“It was no accident, you bit me!” You protested but soon moaned as you felt the heat of his lips touch the fresh bite. He nipped, kissed, and laved over the mark he’d made. His actions were tender and soft as he soothed you, but behind that was a certain hunger.
When he was satisfied with marking his wife, albeit with a small, not-so-obvious mark, he defiantly commented “Well… perhaps it wasn’t entirely an accident as I had hoped to hear you moan…”
Colin loved it when you were like this; flushed and breathless. His mouth soon found your stomach as he pressed kisses to the soft skin. You squealed quietly as you felt the inside of your thighs being toyed with. He took your legs and through them over his shoulders, his head now surrounded in her thighs.
“You know just how to draw it out of me,” You replied breathlessly, your head thrown back on the pillow. Colin’s affectionate attacks on your skin were causing a stir in your stomach. He groaned lowly at your squeal; he found it entirely adorable. With your soft thighs around his head, he could not help but move closer to your core. His mouth found your folds, taking his time, kissing, licking, and then delving inside you.
A string of his name came out in moans from your mouth. The intensity at which Colin was taking it had caused your legs to squeeze around his head. All you could see was his brilliant blue eyes and the shade of red that adorned his cheeks.
He continued until he heard your breath quicken and he knew you were close. He raised his head and looked up at her, his chin slick with your essence. “Do you want to finish, darling?” He asked, his tone was gentle yet he looked rather smug.
“Please, Colin, I am so close,” You responded desperately, needing his lips and tongue on you for just a few more moments.
He felt more than a tinge of satisfaction when you pleaded, “Of course, my love.”
He eagerly lowered his head back down, wasting no time indulging himself in your sex again. His tongue gently lapped over your sensitive skin, taking you in thoroughly as you held him tight. You bucked your hips forward as you hit your peak. A gasp and a yelp in pleasure was all you could manage to get out as you writhed in the moment. You had suffocated him with your legs for just a moment before your legs fell limp on either side of him. Colin had been too focused on his wife that he hardly paid attention to the lack of oxygen he was receiving. His tongue and mouth continued to work on you in an attempt to prolong your orgasm for as long as he possibly could.
He then sat up, looking rather proud of himself as he sat back on his knees. ”Did you enjoy that, darling?”
“Do you even need to ask?” You laughed incredulously. “You’ve done an excellent job at making me tired,” You smirked, wiping your essence off his lower lip with your thumb.
Colin grinned, “Of course, I do. I enjoy hearing you speak.”
He caught your hand and brought her thumb to his mouth, gently sucking it clean as he held her gaze. Your breathing hitched as he did so. The gesture was unexpected but caused your stomach to flip. He shifted forward and hovered over her as he brought her knees up and rested his body between her legs.
“How about I make you even more tired?” He asked hypothetically.
“Relentless little thing,” you affectionately called him before biting your lip.
He chuckled at the comment, his eyes were dark and his pupils were blown out.
He leaned down and kissed between your breasts, “I do not wish to stop until your whole body aches.” He mumbled into your skin as he gently sank his teeth into his old bite mark.
You gripped his shoulders, your hips involuntarily rolling up into him. You sucked in air through your teeth as you felt him bite you once more.
“Very well then. Hurry up and get on with it before I change my mind,” you whispered teasingly, desire clear in your voice despite the feigned annoyance.
“You are entirely helpless to me, aren’t you, my love?” He commented as he raised your wrists and pinned them above your head. “I will see to it that you’re sore in every possible place before the sun rises.” His play on the power dynamic had your head spinning.
The position he forced you in, made it so that you could only stare at him, taking in every adoring look he had for you.
“Whatever you’d like, Mr. Bridgerton,” you nodded and obeyed adoringly. The way you looked at him, caused him to shiver again. He kissed you hard, a messy, urgent kiss as he pressed closer to you. His free hand found your leg once more and he lifted it over his hip while his other hand held your wrists tightly. He groaned lowly in his throat to feel you shifting underneath him.
As he entered you, a long moan escaped her lips. He did not refuse eye contact as he sunk deeper inside you, his head tilted back as he pushed. He let your wrists free and pressed his face into your neck as he began his relentless pace. Your hands were clawed into his back and neck as he let himself get carried away. Nothing filled the air except your noises and the gentle squeaking of the bed.
“I love you,” you whispered longingly into his ear.
“I love you,” he growled into her skin.
His pace got faster, and his grip on your waist tightened as he kept his fast pace up. You bucked your hips with him once more, trying to keep up with his ridiculous pace. A fire grew in your stomach as the all too familiar feeling was starting up again. You threw your head back into the pillow.
“Oh god,” He murmured, your moans and movements had him stirring.
His pace quickened and his strokes deepened. He needed her to climax and he needed her to do so with him.
“It is happening again,” You gasped as your limbs involuntarily snaked around his waist. There was no way you were going to risk it not counting towards making an heir.
“Yes, yes… I’m almost there,” Colin growled into her neck
His breaths were coming out short and fast now, a sign that he was close and he tried his hardest to prolong it just for you.
“Please… make me with child,” You begged with your face pressed into his, kissing his cheeks when you were able to. Colin gave a strangled groan at your pleading and the way he could feel your affections nearly made him lose it. He knew he couldn’t hold back any longer, and within a moment, he climaxed deeply inside you. As he recovered, you had a wicked smile. You laid his head on your chest and began fidgeting with his curls as he tried to compose himself.
“I will be quite surprised if I am not found to be with child next month. You do not seem to waste any moment you have to make me so,” You giggled softly.
“I am simply doing my best to fulfill my role as a husband, I would have thought you would be proud of me for being so industrious.”
Colin’s head lay on your chest, listening to your heartbeat slow down and your breaths slow down until they were gentle once again. He sighed contentedly before looking up at you with his chin resting on you.
“Hush. I am always proud of you. You are a wonderful husband. One who never seems to be satiated, but that is something not worth mending,”
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
🐰 — you're the one (that im dreamin' of)
summary: ever since that stupid kiss with jackie, things have gotten worse. you just wish she liked you back.
warnings: fluff with angst, childhood best friends to lovers, pining, dysphoria mentions/internalized transphobia, timeskips. not proofread
a/n: 3k WORDS HOLY FUCK????? this is my first fic that ive done that has gotten to be this long im amazed wtf! this is definitively a favorite of mine now, and i hope you all enjoy it <3
you're just sitting next to each other on the couch watching a movie, you don't know why your heart is beating so fast.
maybe it's because her shoulder is touching yours, and every time she finds a joke funny, she leans into you while laughing, causing you to sweat and nervously laugh along with her.
god, you need to get over your little crush on jackie. well, it's not little at all, actually - you know you're in love with her, which is 10x worse. but the worst part is the voice in the back of your head telling you that she'd never be with someone like you. someone trans.
you know it's not true - jackie was very supportive when you came out to her in middle school. she was the only one defending you from shitty kids and let you stay at her house for a while when your parents found all your binding stuff and threw you out. of course, you had to go back eventually but they made you throw out anything related to that 'sinful' shit.
jackie would sneak you some of shauna's flannels when you'd reach the bus stop so you could be yourself outside of home, and you always chalked that fluttery feeling in your stomach when she called you handsome down to gender euphoria. which is partly true, but you secretly wished she would've called you her boyfriend instead.
but even so, you'd have to swallow the bile that rose to your throat when senior year of high school started, and you'd see her talking to jeff - to a real man. you know that there wasn't anything going on between them, but your stomach would churn when she would mention how cute he looked that day. it made you angry - at her, at jeff, at your parents, at yourself.
so angry, that you would start ignoring her. being too close to her got to your head and it was getting hard to ignore your growing feelings for her. but this is jackie we're talking about, and she cornered you until you spat out some pathetic excuse that you were just busy with homework to ever go see her. she didn't buy it for a second, but she saw how uncomfortable you were and didn't want to press you about it. you somehow made it through the rest of the school year with only seeing her a couple times while hanging out with mutual friends.
now, it's your freshman year at rutgers which jackie begged you to apply at so you could be college buddies, and to be honest, it wasn't your first choice, but you applied anyways. and it was the only one you got accepted to, so you had no choice in the matter. coincidentally, you and jackie had the same history class, so it was only natural that she had asked you to come over to her house to reconnect.
which was a bad idea.
"have you ever kissed someone?" jackie speaks suddenly, turning to you while twirling her hair around a finger.
you splutter for a second, gulping hard. "u-uh, no, i haven't. have you?"
please say no, please say no.
"me neither." she smiles, and if you hadn't been too embarrassed to make eye contact, you would have seen the way she glanced at your lips. you hum at her response and nod before turning your attention back to the movie.
a beat passes.
"wait, we should totally practice on each other!" she says it as if it were a huge revelation. she's looking at you with sparkles in her eyes and an innocent grin, reaching for the remote to pause the movie.
"what?" you squeak out, scooting up and sitting straighter on the couch, swallowing hard as you look at her. your hand shakes as you bring it up to scratch at the back of your head. "are you serious?"
"of course," she rolls her eyes. jackie leans in closer to you and grabs your hands, and if she heard the nervous breath of air you let out, she chose to ignore it. "i mean, it wouldn't even be awkward, right? we've known each other since we were kids. and besides, it's just a little practice, no harm done."
oh, if you only knew.
you think about it - really, think about it. you don't wanna kiss her just because you like her. you know that would just cause more problems with your feelings for her. but at the same time, you've barely gotten to know anyone while at this college and the only girl you talk to here is your classmate who sits beside you in art, and she only asked for a pencil one time. so, who knows when the next time you'd be given this opportunity to kiss another girl, let alone jackie taylor.
of course, there would be no other option you'd pick besides kissing her, even if that means destroying your friendship with her forever. for you, at least. she'd go on with her life and you'd be stuck dealing with all the emotions and be lucky if you don't suddenly explode with them.
you nod slowly, choosing to ignore the sinking feeling in your gut. your lips tremble as you speak, and a cold sweat consumes your body. "s-sure. it's just practice." you try to convince yourself of it, but it doesn't seem to work that well.
jackie giggles and claps her hands together, wiggling her toes as she gets in position next to you, and you nearly back out of it as you feel her breath hit your lips. she places her hand on your shoulder for a second, picking at the fabric of your shirt before trailing her hand to your neck and pulling you in for a soft kiss.
your brain immediately shuts off and you can hear the wires crack with electricity as her plump lips move against yours. you have no choice but to let her take control of the kiss, jackie giving you experimental pecks before getting brave enough to stick her tongue in your mouth.
you moan at the feeling, eyes widening with embarrassment as you pull away, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. you can't look her in the eye as you stutter out apologies, but you wish you could because the only thing you can focus on is how swollen her lips are.
"how was it? was i good?" she asks hopefully, leaning in and anticipating your response.
"mhm." is all you can say.
she raises her fists in a celebratory manner, proud of her newly found skill. she buzzes with excitement, looking lost in thought as she replays the moment in her head. she grabs the remote and turns to you again, seemingly mistaking your frozen state for some sort of expectation on her part.
"you were good too." she reaches out and touches your arm, eyebrows furrowing at how suddenly you get up.
"sorry-i just," you wipe at your nose and clear your throat, looking anywhere but her. "i forgot i have an early class tomorrow, and i don't wanna stay up late."
"oh, okay." she nods, trying not to sound disappointed. she watches you walk away and calls out your name, remembering something. "wait! you should come to my party that i'm hosting in a few weeks."
"what party?"
"it's just a small party with friends and their friends, probably. it's to kick off our first semester of college." she smiles and shrugs, bouncing on her tippy toes. "i really want you to be there with me."
"and shauna!" she adds quickly. "her semester at brown doesn't start for a couple more weeks so she's coming over to visit. she's been asking about you too, i don't know why she's suddenly so interested in you." she crosses her arms, looking annoyed.
"i'll try to show up, but don't expect anything." you tell her, giving her a small smile. you feel your heart skip a beat at her excited squeal and hug, awkwardly melting into it.
you walk out the door and can feel your emotions building up, kicking a stray rock on jackie's sidewalk before you let out a heavy sigh and wipe your face.
"fuck!"
the second you get to the party, you make a beeline straight for the drinks.
jackie's front door was unlocked when you arrived and for now, she was nowhere to be found. you're not entirely sure why you decided to show up in the first place - you've been a mess since that kiss you had with her all those weeks ago. it's all you can think about and replay in your mind, and some of your grades have started to slip. the thought of seeing her here after successfully avoiding her, which was surprisingly easy with a clever lie about being busy with classes, made you want to vomit.
you gulp down your 4th shot, grimacing at the burn in your throat. you pull out your phone and check the time - 9:49 p.m. you could stay another hour or so, take advantage of all the free drinks, maybe say a quick "hi" to jackie and shauna and then leave.
"should you really be drinking that much?" you hear a raspy voice tease from behind you.
speak of the devil.
you turn around and are face to face with shauna shipman, one of your best friends from elementary school. the last time you had spoken to her was a couple of days before high school graduation, and it was about jackie, because of course it would be. she had urged you to grow some balls and ask her out before any other person with brains would. you chickened out, that same voice in the back of your head saying she would've rejected you. of course, you've kept up with her through texts, but you haven't really had the time or heart to respond to all her questions about how it's going with jackie.
you roll your eyes and bashfully smile at the sight of her, clad in her iconic plaid shirt, which you're pretty sure is the exact one jackie gave you that one time. you shake your head to rid the thought of her, bringing shauna in for a hug. you inhale the scent of her cologne, sighing against her shoulder as your mind spins.
"i've missed you, shipman." you pull away from her and grab another shot, ignoring how she scoffs and rolls her eyes. despite this, she reaches out and grabs herself one, clinking it against your glass before you both swallow it down.
"you look good." she compliments, punching your arm and scanning your body over. "i heard that you've been on T for a while now, congrats. i like the little baby beard thing you've got going on." you swat her hand away from your face as she tries to touch it, chuckling at her antics.
"oh, thanks." you say with fake earnest, scratching at your stubble. "i've only been letting it grow out for 6 months now, no big deal."
"i'm sure jackie loves it, she's always had a thing for beards." shauna replies, smirking at you.
your smile drops a bit at the mention of jackie and you clear your throat awkwardly, looking away. shauna looks at you quizzically, wondering what she said wrong. you shake your head, pouring yourself another shot before sighing.
"it's a long story." you slur, the alcohol finally catching up to you. she grabs you by the hands and leads you through the crowd of people and into jackie's backyard, pulling a chair out and sitting you down.
"well, spit it out."
you end up spilling your guts to shauna about your feelings and what happened with jackie, surprising yourself for being able hold tears back as you pour your heart out. she rubs your back comfortingly as she listens to you talk about everything, her heart hurting as you mention your internalized transphobia.
she opens her mouth to speak but another voice calls out for you.
"there you are!" jackie yells, stopping in her tracks when she sees how close shauna is to you. her annoyance turns into concern when she notices how drunk you are. "i've been looking for you everywhere."
you giggle at her, looking up with a dopey smile and rush to your feet. "jackieeeee, hi."
"how much has he had to drink?" jackie looks at shauna, growing more concerned. you stumble into her arms, and she catches you, trying to keep you still as you mumble incoherently into her neck.
shauna shrugs, wondering if she should intervene. you're nearly black out, but she knows this would be the only way on earth that you'd confess to jackie. "maybe 4, 5 shots?"
jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes. she grabs your face and looks at you with a soft expression. "i'm gonna take you back to my room, okay? you can rest in there until you get sober enough."
"noooo," you pout, letting yourself get tugged by her back into the house and up the stairs, which you nearly trip on. you huff and puff as she pushes you into her room, feeling old memories come back at being in here. "you're no fun."
she ignores you and guides you over to her bed, pulling the covers back and helping you get in. you have no energy to fight back as she tucks you in, moving stray hairs out of your face and kissing your forehead. she leaves for a second to fetch you water, forcing you to drink some.
"why did you have to ask me to do it?" you ask suddenly, hiccupping and closing your eyes as you feel yourself get tired.
"do what?" she says quietly, running her nails over your scalp as she watches over you.
"ask me to practice kissing." you mumble. "i hated it. i hate you."
"i'm sorry." she apologizes, feeling a pang of sadness at your words. "i never wanted to make you fe-."
"i think i'm in love with you, jackie."
she freezes, her movements stilling as she processes what you just said. she swallows down what she really wants to say and shakes her head, blinking away tears. "you're drunk, you don't mean that."
"i do. i've known since middle school, i just could never tell bring myself to tell you because you'd never date someone like me."
"shut up." she gets out of bed, releasing a shaky sigh and fixing her hair. she feels her stomach drop as you give her a dejected look and turns around to face the door. "you can sleep here tonight. i'll come and check on you in the morning."
she walks towards the door and opens it, not looking back to you as she whispers a "goodnight." you're too drunk right now to care about what you just did, so you close your eyes and sleep.
you wake up with arguably the biggest hangover ever and groan, covering up the creeping sunlight with your blanket. wait- not your blanket, jackie's blanket. you sit up, feeling your heart sink as you realize what happened last night.
shit.
just as you're about to get out of bed, the door opens and in walks jackie, looking surprised at you being awake.
"i've checked on you like 5 different times, and you were always asleep." she chuckles awkwardly, sitting at the foot of the bed and fingering the loose thread on her pajamas. "i didn't know if you had classes today but i figured i'd let you sleep in anyway."
"thanks." you mutter, licking your dry lips and reaching for the water she brought you last night and taking a generous swig. you glance at the clock that reads 2:33 p.m. and sigh. you do have a 3 o'clock class but you really don't think you can handle going anywhere today.
the room is filled with uncomfortable silence as you both sit and pretend like you're not glancing at each other. you fumble with the water bottle before you gather the courage and speak with a small voice.
"i'm, uh, i'm sorry about last night. i wasn't thinking." that's as best as you can do without feeling like throwing up.
"did you mean it? what you said about me?" jackie scoots closer, removing the water bottle from your grip and placing it back on the nightstand. you internally scream as you make eye contact with her before looking away, feeling too nervous. her hand covers yours and you feel a shock of electricity, nodding your head slowly as you glance back to her.
"y-yes." you finally say, voice breaking. "i meant it."
you watch as her shoulders relax, closing her eyes and sighing out. she looks to you with a half grin and playfully shoves you, bouncing to her knees on the bed and holding you by the shoulders. "you're an idiot."
"excuse me?" you furrow your eyebrows, looking at her like she's crazy.
jackie shakes her head and pushes you back so you're lying down the bed and gets onto your lap, her lips meeting yours in a sweet kiss. you feel like you're having a fever dream between the hangover and jackie kissing you, but you welcome it, placing your hands on her hips and kissing her back.
you spend at least 5 minutes catching up with a long awaited makeout session, jackie pulling back with a satisfied grin. she rests her forehead against yours and caresses your cheek with her hand, looking into your eyes with a loving expression that makes your heart flutter.
"i was waiting for you to confess to me all these years, you know." she mumbles, kissing your nose. "i was starting to think you were gay or something."
you chuckle, tracing random patterns on her back. you lean up and flip her over on her back, smiling at her sound of surprise that flies from her mouth. you place your arms over both sides of her head and kiss her gently, pulling back only slightly.
"well, here's my confession. jackie taylor, i've been in love with you since we were in middle school. you would make me the happiest man in the world if you went out with me. what do you say?"
"hmm," she ponders, giggling as you pinch her side. she brings you in for another long, sweet kiss, getting sidetracked as she stares at you.
"i say yes."
76 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey covey,
Could you do a one-shot or blurb based of the song Before he cheats by Carrie Underwood with a female reader? Love your writing so much, it's so amazing.
💖-Aurora
⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ Maybe Next Time, He'll Think Before He Cheats
𝜗𝜚 content...cheater! leo valdez x reader fic
𝜗𝜚 warnings...mentions of cheating and the repercussions that follow those actions lmao also language as per usual
𝜗𝜚 letter's from the author...hate to do my pookie dirty like this lmao but it was also so so therapeutic to write such a ragey piece of work lmao- I DO NOT CLAIM CHEATER LEO IF A MAN EVER CHEATS ON ME YOU WILL NOT SEE HIS ASS AGAIN LMAO-
────────── ౨ৎ ──────────
all the ladies love leo, right? or, maybe, leo just loves to play all the ladies.
you realize, a bit too late, that leo valdez loved the chase more than he ever loved you. hindsight's a funny thing, huh?
you should have known better from the moment he started getting a little too cozy with calypso but he just treated you so well. you couldn't help but be blinded by the rose colored glasses he slid over your eyes.
though, seeing him at the dionysus party, his arm draped over her and her hips bumping with his own shattered the whole thing for you. that's not how friends interact and they especially don't make-out in the bathroom, thinking they're sneaky when they are so so obvious.
naturally, you were crushed, but you could cry later. right now? right now you were gonna break his heart in the only way you knew how.
if there was one thing leo valdez loved more than chicks, it was cars. he harassed chiron into letting him bring a car from some junkyard for him to work on as some project. months ago, he'd brought you to see the rust bucket, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek, muttering about fixing it up just to take you on a date in it. you wondered if he told similar things to calypso, nearly certain he did.
rat bastard.
gods, you wanted to see him in ruins. and you just happened to know just the way to his playboy heart. Without so much as a word, you left the party, in fairness a bit tipsy but your anger kept you upright. you left leo to his bathroom escapades, a little smirk at the thought that he was gonna be obvious and unaware until the morning.
you marched your way through those woods, knowing the path like the back of your hand, which just made you sick to your stomach. you'd given so much to this boy. memorizing the way out to his safe space, just for him to throw it all away from some girl!
you weren't a football expert, but i believe this is what we call a fumble, folks.
the son of hephaestus had given you a way into bunker nine, a special little bracelet that granted you enterance. you were certain he had explained how it worked at some point, but it was far to intricate for you. all that mattered was that it worked, which it did, you doing a little cheer as you swung the door open. festus looked up at the intrusion but settled back down when he saw it was you.
"our little secret, okay, bud?" you whispered to the metal dragon, rubbing your hands over the metal ridges that you knew he liked to be petted at. the dragon gave a warm hum, the metal heating until your fingers before it settled back down once more.
you kneeled down, picking up one of the many hammers that littered the floor of bunker nine, testing it's weight in your hands before glancing up at the car. to leo's testament, it was nearly done and damn beauty. the rust had long since been replaced with a shiny new paint, the tires no longer bare and popped, and the engine purred like a big kitten.
and you were gonna leave it so broken even hephaestus himself couldn't fix it - let alone his player of a son.
originally, you were organized, shattering windows with intention and scratching the paintjob with any sharp tools you could wrap your fingers around. but the longer you went on, the more the rage festered and the more chaotic it became.
true to your word, by the time you were done, huffing and even scratched up yourself, the car looked like it got into a fight with an atomic bomb. (which, to be fair, wasn't too far off)
that shiny paintjob? it's shine was hidden behind 'cheater' and 'pendejo' being scratched on top of it. the tires, so full of air, looked like they got into a fight with a shark without how many slashes they had. and you weren't an idiot, you knew the basics of an engine. which means you knew the basics of how to tear it apart, scattering the bolts and headers around like glitter. oh! speaking of glitter, you shoved that shit so far into the air vents and gas tank, it'll take many many many generations for it to finally be gone.
you left that evening, your bracelet set before what was once been a car.
you were satisfied, knowing leo'd have his fun tonight, but his whole world would be shattered by the morning. shattered like your heart! or, and I prefer this one, shattered like the windshield!
as the sun rose the next morning, word quickly spread of leo's car and it's disastrous end. you pretended to be shocked as one of your siblings told you, raving and lying about how disheartened you were for the boy, even if you guys were broken up.
but, over breakfast, you cut your eyes to table nine, catching the glare of a certain boy. you held his eyes for a few moments, before breezing over to the table, leaning towards him as you walked past.
"hope she was worth it. maybe when you fix it up, again, you can take her on a date in it. because it sure as hades won't be me in that damn car, leo valdez."
you pulled away with a sickly sweet smile and a wink before skipping past the ares cabin, making sure to wave at a few of the boys and blow them some kisses. which left leo clenching his fist and turning away from the sight, something he knew to be jealous but refusing to admit to it brewing in his gut.
hey, not only boys can play the game! plus, girls do it better anyways.
#postcards from covey ౨ৎ#all my love ౨ৎ#pjo#hoo#pjo fandom#heroes of olympus x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez#leo valdez x you#leo valdez x oc#leo valdez fanfic#x reader#leo valdez x yn#leo valdez fanfics#leo valdez fanfiction#rrverse#pjo hoo toa#riordanverse#heroes of olympus
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Domestic pre-outbreak!joel /no outbreak!joel hc's bc I can't stop thinking about my lil pookie bear
He loves whenever you take the time to make meals for him and sarah because he's always so busy and never has time to make anything. Not to mention his cooking skills aren't exactly the best, so its a godsend once you and him move in together and you start cooking for your man. For once in his life he consistently goes to work without bringing some shitty sandwich or getting fast food for lunch, and sometimes you'll even throw in a cute little note (or maybe not so cute 😈) that'll have him blushing for the rest of the day. You eventually start getting really good at packing him and Sarah's lunches, and she loves the adorable notes you leave for her and cute animal tooth picks you give her for her fruit. If you have extra time you'll even cut her food into cute little shapes or have a themed lunch like a bunny-shaped sandwich and fruits cut into flowers. If you have leftovers you give them to Joel and he opens it wanting to cry knowing that you put so much effort into making his little girl the cutest lunches. Sometimes his other crew members will notice his lunches with little rice panda bears or other cute things and they'll give him shit for it but it just makes him feel even luckier to be with someone like you.
One time he opens his lunch and finds a particularly spicy note and he has a hard on for the rest of the day :) and then he rushes through his tasks after lunch so he can get home to you faster and rail the shit out of you :)
One day you're in his car looking in his glovebox for something and you find all of the notes you've written him for his lunches, and he tells you he likes to keep all of them to read them especially if he's having a bad day or a hard time at work and needs to get through the day.
Even though he may not be the best cook (aside from a mean mac n cheese or fried chicken) he definitely beats you at grilling. No one makes brisket or steak as good as he does, as a Texan dad it's in his blood.
Although he always gets home tired after a long day of work, you're always there to greet him by running up to him and attacking him with kisses, saying "I missed you so much" and more often than not you'll already have dinner prepared, and he finally gets the time to sit down with you and his daughter for dinner most days of the week and you get to spend some quality time as a family.
Every time he sees you interact with Sarah he's so happy that you're such a great mom to her, he can't think of anyone better to take care of his baby girl
Sarah becomes your little helper when you cook or bake sometimes, and Joel will walk into the kitchen seeing you two giggling as you're making some brownies or some other dessert that Sarah requested, and you can never say no to her cute little face. Every time you go to prepare something she always says she wants to help, and she loves learning from you because you're such a patient teacher.
Sometimes you and Sarah like to let Joel sleep in more than usual on the weekends to give his body some rest after a long week a work, and you'll make him breakfast in bed. He pretends not to hear Sarah giggling as you two walk into your room and “surprise” him with a tray of an elaborate breakfast, and you tell him Sarah did such a great job helping make his coffee and pancakes.
The way this ended up being mostly about food was not planned haha but you know what they say, a key to a man's heart is through his stomach ;) and who wouldn't want to cook and bake for this man, no wonder he's always feeling like shit he never has any time or money to make nutritious meals for himself :(
#tlou#hc's#game joel miller#joel miller#the last of us#young joel miller#sarah miller#headcanons#joel miller headcanons
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
he hit me at it felt like a kiss -Stephen glass x reader
warnings- 18+,violence, p in v sex, minors dni, degrading, breeding kink goes brrrr
(he’s so slutty in this gif i caaanntttt)
masterlist
sex with STEPHEN GLASS was out of this world. His gentle hands would softly caress your skin, his soft lips would press aganist your ears uttering sweet words as his slow thrusts stopped your heart from beating.
you loved it. adored it. but one night everything changed.
he walked through the door, silent. “hey babe how was work?” you smile widely and greet him. his silence was odd, normally he would pepper your face with kisses till neither of you could breathe, but now he barely even looked at you.
“upstairs now.” his voice was barely above a whisper but you heard it. your brow cocked up in confusion as you’d never seen him this angry before, but you obliged and went up.
he followed suit behind you and when you got to your room he slammed the door. “off” he tugged at your shirt and pants. excitement and fear seeped through you and into your panties, dampening them.
he pushed you roughly onto the bed and you heard his belt hit the floor, he turned you over so your ass was in the air and ripped off your panties, literally. his rough hand flew up in the air and smacked your ass, hard, earning a moan from you.
with no warning, no preparation, he thrusted quick and hard inside your sopping hole, making it easy to as you were soaked in arousal. his hand wrapped around your hair tugged your head back “you like this huh? you fucking slut i feel the way your pussy is clenching around me” this was a drastic contrast of his usual soft, sweet self, but you would be a moron to be complaining.
you had never imagined someone so gentle could do such violent things yet ignite such a fire in the depth of your stomach. you loved the way his big hand sounded against your ass, and it truly felt like the deepest kiss there was to offer.
his grip on your hair tightened as his free hand snaked around your front and rubbed tight circles on your puffy clit, earning pornographic moans from you. he pulled you so far up your arched back was now against his chest and you would feel the rumble in his chest as he chuckled a deep laugh at how you were squirming beneath him.
he abruptly pulled out and pushed you on your back. his hard cock teasing your entrance, in and out and in and out again, his fingers never leaving your clit. suddenly you felt it. something strange like never before. with a scream you let go and soaked Stephen. “fuck baby, yes, fuck gimme more” you squirted again this time he knelt down and slurped it all up
you were sure you were seeing stars, this was paradise. your body began to shake as he stood up and began a hard fast pace inside your tired pussy again. he bent down and whispered filthy words into your ear. “you like this hm? you like daddy pounding this tight pussy while i say what a slut you are don’t you? fucking whore squeezing me so good” your nails jabbed his toned back earning a sweet groan into your ear. the sound made you clench impossible hard around his cock and his hips stuttered
“fuck- fucking slut. you want my cum hm? you want me to get you fucking pregnant don’t you? gonna knock you up so good baby”
his pace quickened even more and his groans along with skin slapped skin filled the room, the bed was hitting the wall but all you could care about was the sounds that the man above you made into your ear.
you came for the 3rd time around him and that’s when he lost it. he looked down to see where you joined to see a ring of your cream coating his dick. with a whimper he released into you, once, twice, three times.
he pulled out and got his fingers and pushed the cum back inside “not waisting a drop baby” he mumbled lowly. he licked his fingers clean moaning at the taste of your arousals mixed together and kissed you hungrily.
as you caught your breath, he took you into his arms. “you did so good f’me baby, so good”
“stephen, who ever angered you, id like to thank them personally”
#secretly tumblr#18+#stephen glass#james kelly#anakin x you#anakin x reader#anakin imagine#anakin smut#anakin fanfiction#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#stephen glass x reader#stephen glass x you#stephen glass imagine#james kelly x reader#james kelly x you#james kelly x y/n
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about AU baker Chuuya and florist Dazai this evening…
Chuuya owns a pâtisserie in a quaint cultural part of downtown Yokohama called “pêches et crème.” He loves to bake French goods to show love for his half-French heritage: Macarons, Éclairs, Chouquettes… Chuuya knew just how to satisfy his patron’s sweet cravings.
All the locals who enter his shop are immediately drawn to Chuuya’s charm and delicious baked goods. They compliment his artistry and use of chocolate and fruits to enhance flavors.
Though, they tell him he should move his beautiful shop because of the ugly ass building across from his potentially scaring customers away. The building looked hollow and devoid of life with its chipped grey paint and haunting ‘for lease’ sign displayed on its window. Chuuya makes note of it and thanks his patrons for their feedback.
And then, one day, the ‘for lease’ sign on the building across from him was gone. Over the next few days, Chuuya notices workers coming in and out of the building to give it a facelift, wondering what type of shop it will become. The grey paint on the building turned into a muted yellow, and the window borders were accented by swirling vinyl patterns of lush vines in the shapes of hearts. He thought it looked nice… or at least, nicer than the run down crap it used to be. He makes a mental note to thank his neighbor when the shop opens for upgrading the eyesore.
Until one beautiful sunny morning, Chuuya walks to work and finds a handsome brunette holding a bouquet in his hands, looking up at the newly renovated building, deep in thought. He seemed to be mumbling to himself, a hand on his chin. Upon further inspection, Chuuya spotted a van behind him with its trunk popped open to reveal buckets of flowers - roses, daffodils, tulips, daisies - flowers of every kind in bloom and filling his senses.
The floral scent overwhelmed him so much that he almost didn't realize he had stopped walking, his nose twitching, and finally, he sneezed. Gosh darn pollen.
The brunette breaks from his mumbling spell and turns to Chuuya.
When their gazes lock, Chuuya can feel his cheeks warm. The brunette was a lot more handsome than he thought… and the smile he gave Chuuya only stirred butterflies in his stomach. Is this what people call love at first sight? ‘Shit! He’s coming this way.’
Chuuya clears his throat and immediately begins to look for his keys to unlock his shop pretending like he wasn’t just gawking at a handsome man across the street. Was he running away? It sure kind of felt that way by the way his hands kept fumbling his keys as if purposely stretching time for him on this particular morning. Chuuya curses under his breath with a defeated groan until he feels a hand land on his shoulder.
Chuuya jumps from the touch; a tint of red highlighting his cheeks. He turns to face the man who towers over him, still clutching a bouquet in his arms with a grin on his face as if reading every thought crossing Chuuya’s mind.
Who are they? What do they want? Am I being robbed? Should I call for help? If he goes out, would he regret it under the hands of this handsome thief? Too many questions and too many scenarios run through his head. Maybe he should be more direct.
“May I help you?” Chuuya finally asks, his hands learning to properly hold his keys without looking like a clown. He shifts his pose to cross his arms over his chest, eyeing for any sign of potential thievery. He’ll kick some ass if he has to.
“Yes, actually. Are you Chuuya Nakahara?” asks the brunette, lifting his hand from his shoulder to twirl a strand of Chuuya’s hair away from his face. Chuuya immediately grabs his wrist and pulls away.
“Who’s asking?” Chuuya glares at the guy. Man, he was pretty but daft to think he could just creep up on Chuuya and start petting him.
“Why, your new neighbor of course!” The guy pays no mind to Chuuya’s glare. Instead, he lifts the bouquet adorned with red camellias, peach peonies, and white with salmon tint daffodils.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet as the name, Chuuya Nakahara.”
Chuuya is stunned silent, blushing furiously as the handsome man hands him the bouquet while mumbling to himself again, criticizing his work, “I should have added an orange flower for your hair or a blue for your eyes. Now it all just feels wrong.”
“I didn't see any blue flowers in your van? Wait a minute, you haven’t even told me your name yet or why you know mine!”
The taller man laughs, his head tilted back as if his name was the funniest thing in the world. He leans into Chuuya’s personal space, his hands slipping into his coat pockets and with dazzling smile, he says, “Dazai. Dazai Osamu.”
Chuuya’s throat runs dry. He was starting to feel parched, as if he had just run a marathon with no water for miles. The only thing he's capable of is repeating Dazai’s name as if engraving it upon his lips.
Dazai nods his head and steps away, distancing himself from Chuuya. His gaze becomes soft, and with another twirl of Chuuya’s curls, he says, “I’ll come back with a better one next time, Chuuya. I’ll see you around.”
Chuuya finds himself mindlessly nodding like it is normal to do with someone they have just met on an average Tuesday. An unknown feeling bloomed around him, and he knew it wasn't because of the flowers.
After they part ways, Dazai flashes through his mind during breaks, lunch, and baking sessions. Honestly, the brunette made quite the impression on him, and he blushed every time he glanced at the bouquet. He put them in a porcelain vase next to his cash register so he could see their beauty in full bloom. His patrons teased him about the beautiful flowers that sat beautifully in his shop. They added a floral necessity to the scent of sugar, chocolate, and cinnamon in the air.
Maybe he’ll consider asking for the florist's number and sending a box of his best pastries as a ‘thank you’ for the bouquet. Perhaps he’ll ask for a date or two, and finally find out how the smug bastard knew his name. It’ll make a great conversation starter for the next time they meet.
#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#soukoku#no one come for me#florist Dazai au#baker Chuuya au#i wrote this instead of doing homework#brainrot is real#Yes I had to make Dazai as poetic as possibly possible#Chuuya is just peak love at first sight#Potential WIP for someone to make… because I can't add more to my ever growing pile#bsd fic ideas#no one come for me pls#this turned out longer than i expected#alternate universe#Dazai coming in strong with that intro#pulled a whole Shakespeare
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
Heyy first ask from me❤️
How about Gakuhō Asano(The dad) with the prompts 17 and 212 Ty!!! And could it be nsfw?
Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, isolation, blackmailing, Stockholm Syndrome, Nsfw, dub-con, female reader
Words: 4k
Prompt 17 + 212
"You've gotten a new haircut."
Your fingers instantly run through your trimmed hair when his deep voice states your new change despite the fact that he hadn't even bothered to look at you, violet eyes focused on some documents he held in his palms. His pupils ran across overything carefully noted down on the paper, memorising everything within only a few seconds before his gaze finally found yours.
Fear lit up in your core when those violet orbs rested on you. There was always fear with Gakuho involved and he didn't even need to be present for you to feel the gnawing anxiety in your heart. You felt your heart, already beating at an faster rate than it would have done normally, picking up its pace. Your palms became sticky with sweat as you could only drown in those inspecting eyes, unable to move even a finger.
Was it not to his liking? But you thought-
"It suits you. I'm glad that you considered my suggestion."
Although his voice was rather monotonous and didn't sound very impressed, you could pick up the pleased gleam in those terrifying eyes as his gaze took in everything about your changed hairstyle to commit it to his memories.
You couldn't help the warmth traveling through your body when he praised you, contrasting the fear still embedded into your every cell. Your hands started fidgeting around, your focus shifting around as you felt squirmish in your spot. It was rather confusing and partially even irritating for you to feel so flattered and excited whenever he praised you for your submissiveness.
It was wrong to react positively to the words of a monster hiding behind the mask of a human yet there was warm goo pooling in your stomach when his rich and deep voice stroked your brain in all the right ways. There was a warm tingle spreading from your ears to your toes when he closed the distance between the two of you, his arms encircling your frame as he pulled you flush against his chest.
The sensation of cold lips against your heated forehead only fanned the burning fire inside of you. Only a few months ago you would have cringed upon feeling his touches anywhere on your body, the cold skin of his perhaps a reflection of the dead heart somewhere in his chest.
That person had been a different person though. A stronger and more independent person. Not you.
Instead you reveled in the affection he gave you, your hands grasping his brown suit as you leaned into the feeling of his lips. Gakuho was a very busy man and you had always known that which made every bit of love he showed you all the more valuable and meaningful as you absorbed it all as if you were a dry sponge.
Cool hands found their way to your waist before possessively trailing their way up your body, dancing over the curves of your body before resting on your burning face. You were positive he could feel the warmth of your skin as his fingers danced across your shape, playing with you and your feelings as a different heat started to spark in your lower body.
A dulcet hum left his lips as his violet gaze drank in the sight of your bashful expression and the warmth of your cheeks contrasting his cool palms. Your eyes fluttered when you heard the melodic sound, washing away everything until only a tiny voice somewhere in your head remained, chastising you for giving in to him.
There was a prominent fuzziness clawing at your mind though the longer you stayed in his arms as if you were getting drunk on his very presence. Your thoughts only dulled further when his chilly lips found your own and claimed them for himself.
You couldn't find the necessary willpower to push him away even if you could still feel somewhere in the abyss of your heart a twinge of mortification. One of his hands glided away from your cheeks, traveling along your neck. When his fingertips brushed over your pulse, you could feel a shiver running down your spine.
You barely managed to scratch together a semblance of composure when he pulled away, your heart hammering against your ribcage as you were panting. Temptation only grew with every brush of his fingers against your burning skin as a needy ache started making itself known between your legs, vulnerable and weak to your knees as he held you.
It was unfair that he held so much power over you financially and emotionally yet to your distant horror the feeling flowing through your blood wasn't fear. It was something much worse.
Anticipation.
His warm breath hit your face as he leaned in again, his lips brushing your own yet not moving in any closer which only made your heart pound more eagerly in your chest. Your fingers grasped the smooth material of his business suit tightly when he left you waiting, drawing out your quiet suffering for his own enjoyment.
Glowing eyes relished at the sight in front of him as your own pleading and anticipating orbs were trying to beg him wordlessly to end the little mindgame he was playing with you right now. You were as easy to read as a book, only that now you weren't even attempting to hide your thoughts and feelings from him.
How charming.
Dizziness washed over you when he pushed your head forward until both of you locked lips again, his hand holding your nape as the kiss deepened. There was something dominating and greedy behind the kiss which only added to the pool of heat gathering in between your legs as his grip grew tighter on you. One would think that the knowledge that your mind, your body and even your heart already were in his possession would satisfy him but Gakuho had always been dangerously ambitious. In that moment as he refused to allow you even time to breathe, you felt like he was trying to suck your soul out to claim it for himself as well.
The loss of the sensation of his mouth on yours had you wobbling on your feet as the feeling was ripped away from you, only his hold on your warm body stabilising you somewhat. There was an enticed look in your eyes as you tilted your head to meet his gaze. A pleased gleam was visible in his eyes, violet orbs looking at you predatory as he knew he had you exactly where he wanted.
Your breath hitched in our throat when one of his hands snaked his way to your thigh, caressing the heated flesh, excruciatingly close to the burning ache only inches away from his cold fingers. They didn't move any further though, only tracing patterns on the inside of your thigh, leaving you hanging on purpose.
“You’ve been such a good girl lately," he murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. His words eliciting aflame butterflies in your stomach, kindling the yearning in your throbbing pussy.
"If you continue to behave so well, I might just reward you. Would you like that?”
Your brain felt like short circuiting for a few seconds, wrestling for anything to answer him with. It was hard to miss the insinuation he barely attempted to hide as violet eyes had darkened with lust. The shot of elictricity traveling through your body, only adding to the traitorous heat as it was clear what your body wanted.
You thought that you wanted it too. You wanted Gakuho to claim you for everything you had to offer so that you could be fully his. Somehow you couldn'r agree as easily though, a distant wave of destestation echoing somewhere in your heart.
He didn't intend to give you the chance to chase after that uneasy tremble within your feelings though, pulling you back to him before you could re-discover something that would only delay his plans that were within reach now.
"What does my good girl want right now? Just tell me and I'll give it to you."
A part of you was very well aware that he wanted you to wish for something very specific that would aid his own desires in that moment just as much. There was no such thing as a free will as much as there was an illusion of it with him. Gakuho was frighteningly good in the art of infiltrating someone's thoughts and coaxing them into acting the way he wished them to whilst leaving them under the impression that they were still acting on their own decisions. Your haircut had only been made because he had convinced you that this specific style suited you best.
A dull headache made itself apparent, only adding to your growing torment as your thoughts gained a life of their own, slipping out of your control and wriggling around inside your mind. Pieces of memories you had been trying to forget dug themselves up, images flashing before your inner eyes. There was a demon in each one of them, one staring at you with violet eyes that promised to devour your mind and soul until nothing would be left anymore.
How could you have-
"(y/n)."
His voice was bordering dangerously close on admonishment, the displeasure only subtly lacing his voice yet your ears could pick it up quite clearly. A new emotion blossomed inside your chest as you dared to look him in his eyes. Desperately you tried to search for any of the warmth you had seen just seconds ago but it had all but melted away, leaving you with nothing to detect his current feelings. He didn't give anything away, his expression more unreadable than a statue to you.
You were afraid.
But for all the wrong reasons. You didn't fear punishment or any consequences that might be afflicted upon you if you should displease him. No, it was a fear to displease and disappoint him. When exactly had you become so dependent on praises and affirmation from him?
"I'm sorry..."
Your voice was but a mere croak as those words left your mouth. A part of you recoiled when you heard yourself due to the sheer embarrassment of your pathetic demeanor but the sorrow you felt dwelling in your soul was stronger than the shame.
The silence that followed after your apology was painful, although most likely only for you. Gakuho, the one always in control of the atmosphere and people around him, was assessing you silently. There were still traces of your not so desirable denial left, even though he was pleased to see that his influence on you was still bigger than whatever silly resistance still welled in your heart.
"You're overthinking too much," he sighed, the vice around your heart loosening as the air became lighter, the previous tension slowly disintegrating. The fear still lingered though as you nodded, attempting to cut off your thoughts that fed the stress to your heart and mind.
The more you tried to will your thoughts away, the less manageable they became to you. A whiplash effect. They grew and sprouted, your agitated soul soil for them to form and grow.
The inner clash of emotions became plainly visible, especially to Gakuho. Your focus drifted away as you got lost in your thoughts again as it appeared to be too much for you to handle by yourself.
There was a look of overwhelmed fright in your eyes when you felt the cold touch of his hands again, sliding under the blouse you were wearing. You poor thing, lost in the harshness of your rapidly moving mind. Perhaps he should have made the choice for you from the very start as you were still not ready.
"Let me help you," his voice told you, his hands working to skillfully and swiftly unbotton your blouse as your bra was revealed to his sight. Your body had already made a decision if the needy pulse from within your pussy was anything to judge by. It was your head that threw you off though, triggering a nauseous guilt that didn't mix well with the growing heat within your core.
You could only watch as piece after piece of clothing was removed from you as well as him, your eyes appreciating his muscular torso whilst the sight simultanously triggered swirling dread in your mind.
Your heart felt light yet heavy within its frantic beats when your back made contact with silky sheets and a soft mattress, your hands resting on his chest the moment he was above you. You could feel his own heartbeat right beneath where your palm was resting, the composed rhythm of his own heart a contract to the drums of your own beat that you could sense and even hear. You didn't know whether you desired to push him away or pull him closer to you, the unsteadiness of your own feelings heightening your anxiety and stress.
You had wanted this and you still wanted this but the imagination of giving him the last thing he hadn't attained yet from you, the last thing you could still confidently call your own, suddenly transformed into a nightmare you didn't want to become reality. There would be nothing left for you if you would let him pluck away your innocence.
Was this really alright? Was this really what your heart wanted?
Goosebumps and warm tingles only testified that your body desired him as his hands trailed along your body, your stiff body unconsciously relaxing a bit when it felt his touch.
There was apprehension and conflict still in your gaze as your eyes followed the trail of his hands before looking at him. You looked upset more than anything, your inability to settle for a decision frustrating you. There was a silent question enciphered in those troubled orbs of his, one Gakuho didn't need long to decipher.
You wanted him to make the decision for you.
By believing yourself to be ill-equipped to make the right choice, you instead chose to place your trust in him by believing that he knew better than you. It was something he hadn't initially expected for you to express to him but it worked just as fine for him in that moment.
You closed your eyes for a moment as you withdrew your hands from his chest, taking deep breaths to force your muscles to relax. The tumult in your mind was still pestering you, tormenting you with the inability to quench the fright and stress.
Only the sensation of hands and lips traveling all over your body offered comfort, the icy touches against your heated skin a sensation that demanded attention even admist the silent chaos in your head. The tension got slowly drained from your body, the man above you seeming to know your body better than you as his fingers pressed into bundles of your nerves, coaxing your muscles to loosen.
A throaty groan slipped from your lips when you felt the pressure in your shoulders disappearing as he kneaded all the tension away. One of your eyes cracked open and the violet ones that stared right back at you frightened you for a while before you relaxed again. There was more trust in your eyes this time, your body less stressed after his help.
There was barely anything Gakuho needed to do as you offered him access to your neck willingly, savoring the coldness that caressed your pulse and tasted your skin. You could feel his lips curling into a satisfied smirk when he discovered a sensitive spot on your neck that had you squirming and grasping his shoulders for support when you felt teeth teasing the spot before biting down, sending yet another spark straight to your cunt that had you clenching around nothing.
“Your skin is so soft," you heard, and especially felt, him cooing against your neck, his rich and dulcet tone making your heart swoon effortlessly.
Your breath hitched, mostly with aroused anticipation as one of his hands finally decided to see for himself just how wet he had gotten you. What you had already perceived as cold touches felt downright icy against the hot throbbing of your cunt, your legs slightly shaking with the desire to press together as he started tracing your outher lips.
Still, there was a tint of something else beneath your arousal. Previous apprehension and a natural nervousness were still alive within you, your fingers twitching nervously.
His other hand found one of your twitching ones, interlacing his fingers with your own. You immediately squeezed his hands, your gaze quivering ever so subtly as you gazed at him with those quiet yet still present emotions.
There was a fondness in his eyes that had your heart gushing sweetly, a stupid giddiness that you were probably the only one who could awake such a rare softness inside of him even if you were fully aware that the little power you had over him, he had hundredfold over you.
"Trust me."
He didn't need to see the nod you gave him to confirm what he knew anyways as he eased a finger inside of your wet and tight hole, followed instantly by a second one.
The stretch that came with them might not have been anything huge but it was still more than enough to put you for a while on edge, the sensation foreign and unfamiliar, edging on uncomfortableness. You tightened your grip on his hand, your free one finding its way to his shoulder and gripping his form tightly to vent out some of the tension you felt, especially once he started moving inside of you.
Whilst it didn't hurt, the slight sting of his long fingers moving inside of you and stretching you initially wasn't something you could say you were enjoying either. Your knuckles had gone white with the tight grip you were applying to his hand and his shoulder, your lips pursed into a thin line as you tried to get used to the sensation of two fingers scissoring you from within your vagina.
"It's going to be alright. Just give it a few moments," he reassured you in a humming tone, pressing something you hoped to be a sweet kiss against your temple.
True to his words, the uncomfortable sting gradually ebbed away as your body got used to the stretch, your walls accomodating the slick fingers inside of you with more ease. You felt your breath growing heavier, all the troublesome thoughts spinning away from you the more you felt his fingers moving around inside your tight heat. It felt liberating, the growing pleasure only adding to the sweet relief as your focus shifted to the cold hand pleasuring you down there, your hips bucking carefully against his in an attempt to get him deeper inside of you.
A hair-rising glint appeared in his eyes when he noticed the movement of your hips, the corner of his lips tugging up into a subtle yet rather dark grin.
Wordlessly he added a third finger into your wet and hot mess, his lips on yours again, predatory and claiming. The whine you let out when his thumb found your neglected clit and drew tantalizing circles over it was swallowed by him, your walls clamping down on his fingers that were exploring and stroking parts you hadn't let anyone before him feel.
Your legs tried to trap his hand when he abruptly removed his fingers and hand from you, the feeling of loss leaving the now prominent emptiness inflamed but his own legs in between yours didn't allow for you to keep that joyous feeling within you.
Maybe a part of you would have felt inclined to feel embarrassed about the upset emotions of yours when he stopped pleasuring you and perhaps later on you would wish that you had felt that way right then.
You found it hard to re-gain your focus and thoughts though when you felt something much larger and harder pressing against that bleeding source of heat. You felt your heart tumbling with thrill and your pussy pulsing in demand.
The stretch was still prominent and much more intense despite the preparation Gakuho had given you beforehand as he eased his cock inside of your soaked hole, each inch leaving a raw yet pleasurable burn that forced sharp intakes of air out of you.
You were trembling by the time he bottomed out fully, lightheaded and dizzy from the long kiss and the feeling of him fully settled within your tight walls. Despite your body's craving for stimulation, neither of you moved for a while. You could sense his darkened eyes inspecting your reaction in consideration of your first time with him. You wanted to express your desire and your avid need after a few moments but couldn't grasp the right words even as you parted your lips in search for them.
"I know."
The warmth of reassurance was undeniable when you heard his words, the building frustration bursting like a bubble. Of course he knew. He always knew when it came to you.
Every thrust was smooth and deep as he set a slow pace, pulling out of you until only his tip was kissing your wet hole before slamming back until his hips met yours. Any moans and whimpers of you went unheard though, his lips barely separating from you in consuming kisses and aiding your growing dizziness.
All previous guilt was replaced with searing elation as you found yourself pressed beneath him, connected to him, in ways no one else would see you and vice versa. You relished in the feeling of his dick grazing your nerves, relished in the feeling of his cooler body heating up against you as he thrusted inside of you and how his hold on your hand was possessive yet somehow equally as intimate as everything else and in that moment you wished to always feel such stupid euphoria when with him.
Blistering heat kept on being fueled with every brush of his cock against your bundles of nerves, your whines gaining volume and judging by the way he picked up speed, you could tell that he was feeling it too.
A coil of burning pleasure came into existence within the pits of your stomach, each movement of his tightening the smoldering pressure inside you. It almost felt like you could sense the light at the end of the tunnel, spurring you on as your hips met his own with each movement, the sound of skin slapping against skin only another component within the symphony of muffled moans and groans.
"G-Gakuho, I think-" you tried to stutter out as you gasped for breath when he pulled momentarily away from your lips, giving you a few seconds to inhale oxygen before resuming the feverish kiss. You didn't need to say anything to him, he could already tell from the increased frequency of your walls pulsing tightly around him, embracing every inch and vein of his manhood.
Whilst you had a foreboding already, you weren't able to pinpoint when exactly you wouldn't be able to take anymore. The coil inside of you snapped unexpectantly, eliciting you to let out a barely suppressed shriek as waves of blinding bliss drowned every coherent thought inside of your mind that was still left there, your pussy weeping as you coated the sheets underneath you as well as his dick in the release of your ecstasy.
You barely had the focus left to feel that he was still fucking you through your pleasure before the vice-like grip of your cunt coaxed his own orgasm out of him, his release mixing with your own.
Your whole body was twitching, your chest heaving as you tried to come down from your high as every movement felt far more intense than it was. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage whilst you were panting for air, slowly gaining the ability to think back.
You wondered if you should say anything as you laid there, vulnerable and spent. Before your exposed heart could come up with anything though, you felt his member hardening again inside of you.
A small whine escaped your lips, emotionally and physically rather exhausted after everything. A lew chuckle vibrated through his chest when he heard your tiny protest, greedy eyes staring down at you.
"I understand that you're quite tired after everything but you don't have to do much. Just lay down and let me take care of everything."
#yandere assassination classroom#yandere ansatsu kyoushitsu#yandere gakuho#yandere asano gakuho#yandere x reader#yandere x you#assassination classroom x reader
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
zolu kiss post-lu&sopp water 7 duel
“Do what you want with the Merry.”
At this point, Luffy felt raw. Skin aching like he had been through a wringer, his stomach lurching. He never felt this way after a fight before, the pain receding as soon as he stepped away and he was left energized more often than not. Even after being defeated by Ace and Sabo, nursing multiple swelling and deep cuts, never ached this hard.
Winning never tasted so bitter it burned his tongue.
He secured his hat, furrowing his brow, “We’ll get a new ship and move on to the seas ahead!”
Memories of Usopp playing in his head as fleeting as time. But Luffy continued walking forward, not turning back one bit.
“Well then, bye, Usopp…” he’s tired and shaken, the emotions finally welling to the brim as eyes stung. The feeling too familiar for his own good. “It’s been… fun…”
The noises Sanji and Chopper made when they argued were muffled, as Luffy’s tears clouded his eyes. He couldn’t breathe as snot filled up his nose but a part of him could feel Zoro and Nami’s heavy gazes settling on his shoulders like two boulders. Nami felt like a shard edge as she sobbed with disbelief and frustration. Zoro was calmer but heavy, pushing his head down and pinning his feet to the ground.
Luffy strained the words, as his chest ached, “This is a lot…”
He might be talking to himself, or just his first mate, because he was the only one who was present in the moment. That’s why Zoro immediately answered, his voice a pillar in the middle of a storm that was Luffy’s emotional turmoil. “That’s what it means to be a captain, isn’t it?”
“Don’t waver,” Zoro continued. “If you do, who can we believe in?”
Luffy’s shaking hand pulled the brim of his hat to hide his face, finally crying the tears he, for once, was ashamed of spilling.
.
.
They evacuate to an inn somewhere in the city. Luffy was last to walk up the room as everyone unloaded their bags and items. He glanced up at the stairs leading to the rooftop and let his impulse lead him up. He could feel Zoro’s gaze, who was also behind everyone and was dropping a crate of fresh produce. He immediately dropped it by the side of the door and ran after him. Luffy let him because he knew his swordsman had no reason to stop him.
Zoro closed the door as they reached the rooftop, slowly pinning him by the door. His eyes were calm but his lips pursed a bit. Luffy didn’t quite look at him in the face, gaze settling at a particular spot on the rooftop higher than where they stood just across the canal.
“You know, you still smell like rotten eggs,” Zoro mumbled.
Luffy glanced up, unconcerned, “Then, don’t come closer, Zoro.”
He was about to move past the taller man when Zoro held his shoulders and squeezed firmly, taking a step closer as he pressed a nose to Luffy’s cheek. Zoro made a noisy inhale,
“It stinks but I don’t mind the smell, Luffy.”
O-oh… I get it, Luffy buried his face in Zoro’s shoulder as Zoro wrapped his arms around him.
Luffy held his waist tight feeling the urge to cry coming. But Luffy only buried his face deeper into Zoro’s white shirt, brows dropping as hot tears wet a patch of cottoned fabric.
The quiet night grew profound, the water stream under them a still murmur. Zoro's steady heart pulsed him with warmth, one beat at a time. Zoro's scent of sweat and steel was a better companion than his own storming mind.
“Z-Zoro…” Luffy mumbled.
Luffy wanted to explode. With shouts and yells, with questions that piqued the reassurance from Zoro’s baritone voice. He craved Zoro’s presence to wrap around his mind and body like a compression blanket. But he was not good at words when he was utterly emotional and Zoro was not good at reassuring with words and really… words themselves could never articulate the moments they shared together in private.
So, Luffy leaned up, pressing his parted lips on Zoro’s unexpected mouth.
He sighed into Zoro’s nose, invaded his oxygen. Zoro recovered quickly as he pushed deeper until they both fed each other’s hunger with caressing tongues and sucking lips.
Luffy’s body was a floating cloud, white light filling his vision. He was clutching Zoro’s back and tip-toeing when the image of Zoro lying unconscious on the ruins of Shandora emerged and a view of his receding back followed after.
The last one didn’t happen but the fear it invoked came full force, Luffy’s soul felt like it crashed into the concrete ground.
Luffy pulled away from Zoro’s embrace, their lips smacking at the impact as saliva trailed his panting mouth. Zoro opened his eyes wide, but there was no anger or disappointment, only concern concealed behind a cautious look. Luffy reverted his gaze, settling back to the spot he saw earlier.
He pushed past his swordsman, mumbling more to himself, “Thanks Zoro... for making me feel better."
Zoro was still.
"But I want some space.”
Zoro was quiet for a while and Luffy wondered if he had offended the swordsman. Until Zoro turned, voice gentle, “Luffy?”
Luffy looked up and softened his gaze, “I won’t go far. You don’t worry about that. He tugged a thin smile, "Also, I remember what you said. I just think Zoro should rest. Today’s been a lot for everyone.”
Zoro seemed to exhale a relieved breath, shoulders loosened.
Quietly, Luffy stretched his arm and jumped.
#zolu#one piece#in the mood for some writing#maybe I should put this in a long and elaborate fic but idk if I currently have the time#might as well put it out there#op flashfic#flash fiction
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gale and the Gith: Chapter Eighteen - Voyeur
A worried Gale searches for X'aa'nath after he takes too long to clean up/watching someone bathe trope.
TW: masturbation, voyeurism, Gale proving just how much of a switch he is, m/m sex acts, it's just filth honestly.
Gale glances towards the shoreline and nervously worries the sleeve of his wizard’s robe.
He’s been gone a long time, surely it wouldn’t hurt to –
“Darling, I’m sure he’s perfectly fine.”
Gale jumps, startled by the vampire who has suddenly crept up right beside him. He places a hand over his thundering heart and scowls at Astarion.
“But if you were to go check on him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Maybe he needs help washing those hard to reach places, hm?” The vampire grins at him suggestively, fangs glinting in the fading sunlight.
Gale hesitates, worry for X’aa’nath warring with his desire for propriety, but worry eventually wins out. “I’m going to go check in on him. But only because I’m worried! Not for any… other reasons.”
“Of course, darling, of course.” Astarion smirks, entirely unconvinced.
Gale picks his way towards the water, weaving through the trees and rocks that line the water’s edge. His worry spikes when he’s unable to spot X’aa’nath, and he halts, listening for telltale signs of the sorcerer. Faint splashing has him changing course, meandering further to the west. Gale eventually spots X’aa’nath’s belongings on the shoreline, clean towels and clothing scattered about but no sign of the gith himself. Just as he’s prepared to charge into the water and search for the other man himself, X’aa’nath surfaces, breathing in deeply and shaking his damp hair out of his eyes.
Gale knows he should announce himself, gods he knows he should, but something urges him further back into the shadow of the trees, wanting to observe X’aa’nath for just a little longer. Gale’s breath quickens as X’aa’nath stands, water sluicing off his body, and moves towards the shore. The sorcerer’s body is whipcord lean; lithe, firm muscles forged by years of battle training and hardship bulge and relax as he walks through the water. His stomach is concave, his ribs visible through his skin. Gale’s hand wanders over his chest and trails down his stomach as he takes in the graceful arch of X’aa’nath’s neck, the smooth lines of his throat and jaw, the erotically alien curves and serrations of his ears. He hesitates at the waistband of his trousers, groaning as X’aa’nath licks strays droplets of water from his full lips, a flash of sharp teeth as his lips part. The very thought of those soft lips and sharp teeth against his skin causes Gale to come undone, and his hand slips below the thin fabric of his trousers and closes around the heated skin of his rigid cock.
In all of the times Gale had imagined X’aa’nath, all those nights alone in his tent palming himself and silently asking for forgiveness for conjuring such vivid, salacious imagery of the sorcerer, his fantasies are nothing compared to the reality of finally seeing X’aa’nath bare before him.
The wizard moans quietly, squeezing the base of his cock in an effort to stave off the orgasm that is rapidly approaching. His eyes stay focused on X’aa’nath, drinking in the way his skin seems to glow in dusky sunlight, how his hair flows down his back and caresses his skin. The fingers of Gale’s free hand twitch, yearning to stroke X’aa’nath’s skin, to feel the firmness of his muscles, to tease and pleasure every inch of X’aa’nath’s body until he cries out and begs for release.
Gale strokes his cock slowly, using his thumb to spread his oozing pre-cum over the sensitive head, shuddering at the intensity. He studies X’aa’nath’s long, muscular legs with the concentration of a lover and a scholar, imagining them wrapped around his waist as he slowly rocks into X’aa’nath, burying his cock deep inside him, kissing his throat and basking in his lover’s ecstatic cries. Gale’s eyelids flutter and he fights back a throaty sigh as the muscles in his thighs tighten and heat begins to build low in his belly.
X’aa’nath turns, exposing his back, and Gale bites his fist to silence a guttural moan as the hand around his cock begins to move faster, pre-cum oozing steadily now, the sound slick and obscene in the silence of Gale’s private hiding space. Gale imagines biting X’aa’nath’s shoulder and digging his fingers into his back as X’aa’nath fucks into him rough and fast, praising him in Gith as he cums deep side him. He fantasizes about kissing the two dimples at the small of X’aa’nath’s back, before shoving him against one of the many bookcases in his tower and slowly pressing his cock in the sorcerer's firm, tight ass.
Gale’s breathing grows ragged as X’aa’nath begins to towel off, and he finds himself jealous, wishing to lick away every stray drop of water on his body. He wants to fall to his knees before the sorcerer and beg him to use his mouth as he pleases, to grip his hair and force his hard cock past his eagerly waiting lips. Gale wants to feel X’aa’nath’s thighs shudder beneath his hands as he spills into his mouth. The imagined taste of X’aa’nath’s spend is what propels Gale over the edge and the ferocity of his orgasm darkens his vision for a moments as his spills into his hand.
He continues to watch X’aa’nath as he dresses, leisurely stroking his still hard cock, now sticky with his own cum, teasing out the aftershocks of his orgasm, still lost in his fantasies.
The sun has full set once X’aa’nath has finished and Gale is finally able to emerge from his hiding place, sticky and vaguely shameful. The wizard makes his way to the water for an impromptu bath of his own, unable to chase thoughts of X’aa’nath from his mind. Any hope that this is fleeting attraction has been utterly banished, but he’s still unsure how to proceed. The orb is dangerously unstable, the tadpole is an ever present threat, the Absolute endangers all of Faerun but in this moment, all that matters is finding a way to call X’aa’nath his.
#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 astarion#astarion bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#baldurs gate 3 tav#tav oc#tav#male tav#gale bg3#bg3 astarion ancunin#astarion ancunin#gale x male reader#gale x reader#gale x oc#gale fanfic#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#gale x gith#gale x male tav#gale x tav#gale bg3 fanfic#bg3 fandom critical#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 fic#bg3 gale#tav x gale#wizard of waterdeep
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good Luck!
pairing: Maki Zenin x fem!reader
nsfw/cw: dom!Maki Zenin, hate/breakup sex, alcohol
wc: 3.3k
author’s note: this is inspired by good luck babe by chappell roan
description: a bad breakup compels a male distraction, that is, until you run into your ex.
You stumble into the corner of the hallway and the man you’re pulling along doesn’t even ask if you’re okay. Or maybe he does, you can’t hear over the music blaring through your friend’s apartment. Either way, it doesn’t matter, you’re fucked up and need to be touched, now.
The door of the closet barely closes before you shut your eyes tight and pull him into a kiss. Immediately he slams the tip of his tongue against your sealed lips, demanding an entrance that you concede, opening your mouth up to him and the wet thick muscle that he plunges in and out of it. Only then you realize you’ve been holding your breath, and you shakily release it through your nose while his palms land on your waist, fingers slipping under the fabric of your going-out top.
His hands crawl up to your breasts, pawing them, and he groans your name into your mouth. You go to moan his back, but you think you’ve forgotten it. Shit, did you even ask? It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know it. There’s no feelings, no hard conversations, no real connection. He’s just a man, and that’s what you need him to be.
You don’t want to think about it anymore, and your tug at his shirt prompts him to pull it off fast. So easy. Too easy. You rake your hands over his chest; the hair covering it is rough and prickly. So you move your hands to his head instead, knocking off his ugly baseball cap so you can spread your fingers through his short hair. He grunts, pulling your hips close to his. The raging hard-on pushing through his pants stands in stark contrast to the fact that you’re not wet—it just isn’t the same. No, you push the thought out of your head, you’ve got to keep trying.
Hand in his hair, you bring him down to your neck, having him kiss and suck at it. It feels okay, you could make it work. You tilt your chin up, close your eyes, and think of–
“Are you kidding me?” A voice pierces through the haziness of your head.
You pull the guy off of you and look over to see a figure leaning against the doorframe. Your drunken state does little to buffer the feeling of your heart plummeting into your stomach.
Maki crosses her arms. “What, only a week since we broke up? And you’re about to fuck some dude?”
Said dude puts his hands up. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to get in between anything.” His voice is laden with vocal fry and a lot more nasal than you thought. Well, you were preoccupied with doing things that didn’t require it.
Maki nods her head to the party, “Why don’t you go join everyone else? I need to have a little chat with my ex here.”
Defiant, you grab his forearm. “No, stay,” you coo. You spare Maki a seething glare when you say, “We were just starting to have some fun.”
He looks to Maki, whose gaze remains icy and strong, leaving no room for opposition. Decided, the man scrambles to get his shirt from the floor and side-steps past Maki, giving you only a glance as he says, “Uh, I’ll just…I’ll see you later? Okay?”
He doesn’t wait for your response before he’s gone.
You scoff and begin fixing your disheveled shirt. Just as expected for a man, to be entirely useless and not give you what you want.
“Get that out of your system, then?” Maki taunts.
“I would have, had you not-so-kindly interrupted,” you retort.
“It was more like your hookup was interrupting the party.”
“It was not,” you counter.
“The door was wide open. It’s like you were begging me to see.” She scoffs. “Is that what that was? A set-up to make me jealous?”
You refuse to let yourself ask whether it did in fact make her jealous.
“I didn’t even know you were here,” you respond, “And not that I need to defend myself, but it wasn’t a set-up, it was real.” With a flippant shrug you add, “He’s really hot.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I thought you weren’t into men.”
“Well, I’m definitely done with women,” you say, “Men are just easier.” You press your lips together before finishing with, “You don’t get hurt.”
Maki watches you, evaluating your statement. You might have given a little more insight than you meant to.
She takes a breath and says, “So you’re just done with women, then?” She steps forward. “I have a hard time believing that.”
“You don’t know what I want,” you return, leaning back against the wall.
“I think I do.” Maki closes the closet door behind her, dimming the room so the only light is what’s coming through the crack of the door. Even if it was pitch-black, you would know her eyes are trained on you; you can feel their weight. She moves forward and places her hands on the wall behind you, her palms planted just above your shoulders. You don’t want to admit it, but it flicks on a small flame in your lower stomach. It makes you actually feel something.
You glare at her, “Even if you do, it doesn’t matter. We’re broken up.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore.” She leans down into the crook of your neck, her breath ghosting over a now racing pulse. You stiffen, careful to not move an inch; you’re not sure what you’ll do if the lips you’ve been missing for days meet your skin. She moves to the other side of your neck, as if a puma circling its prey and deliberating where to strike. “I don’t like seeing you in pain,” she whispers the words against you, “Seeing you frustrated.”
“Fuck off,” you snarl, but your voice wavers. “You’re the reason I’m like this.”
Maki hums. “Then I should take responsibility.” She closes the gap, running her lips up your neck to your jawline until they’re right in front of yours. With her face so close, you’re able to feel her words: “If you’ll let me.”
You’d like to blame it on the alcohol, you really would, but you’re clear-headed and resolute when you smash your lips to hers. Like a hit of a drug, in a second your body fills with bliss. It’s so natural, fulfilling. It makes sense. She’s been gone only a week, but it feels like an eternity passed.
Maki’s hands drop from the wall as she draws you into her, deepening the kiss. One arm snakes around your waist and the other up your back so her fingers can tangle into your hair. You let out a sigh of pleasure, but it’s really one of relief. Then, with a firm grip on your roots, she pulls your head back, exposing your throat so she can duck down and greet it with eager lips and experimental bites. The sensations, unpredictable and delightfully rough, have you melting into the wall behind you, the arms she has wrapped around your body keeping you upright.
“Fuck, Maki,” you gasp, trying to hold your little moans back. Her attention on your neck, especially your pulse points, is sending sparks of pleasure down into the rest of your body. Your head falls back even further into her hand and she tightens her grip on your hair, sending tingles radiating all over your scalp.
“Yeah?” she says, certainly leaving a mark just above your collarbone, “Gonna say you missed me yet?”
Your hand lands on the back of her head, pushing her further into your neck, not willing to entertain her with a response. She grins against your skin before sucking another mark onto your collarbone, hard. Your hips shift, thighs rubbing together subconsciously, affected by the warm desire building between them. And with her body pushed into yours, Maki’s able to feel every squirm, every indication that she’s got you worked up and needy.
She releases your hair and brings her face back up to yours. You draw her into a kiss that quickly becomes open-mouthed and messy. The hand around your waist comes up and pulls at the bow tied between your breasts, undoing it with one swift movement so the top falls open, revealing more of your chest.
“Wearing something so easy to take off? Yeah, you really wanted to get fucked tonight.”
You huff. “So hurry up and do it already.”
Maki pushes the loose fabric away, indulging in the sight of how your bra lays over your exposed chest. If you weren’t feeling so impatient, you would be pleased at how long it takes for her to drag her eyes over you, drinking in every detail like it’s the first time she’s ever seen your body like this.
“I think I’ll take my time,” she concludes, kissing just above your bra, making your breath hitch, “Been so long and all.”
“More reason why we shouldn’t wait,” you grit out, running your hands over her neck and into her hair. It’s so hot in here, do closets usually get this hot?
She pays no mind to your argument, kissing along the lining of your bra and letting her fingers roam over your breasts. It feels so nice, her lips on your sensitive skin, especially with the occasional swipe of her thumb over your hard nipple pushing through your bra. It’s just that you’re aching much lower than where she’s kissing.
Maki’s not going to go down there, at least not yet. Her sadistic streak will drag this out at a glacial pace until she gets what she wants: the admission that you’ve been missing her as much as she’s been missing you. It doesn’t make you very happy to give into her, to admit you were wrong about breaking up with her and your pursuit of male affection. But you’re really struggling here. You’ve been so worked up, so sexually frustrated and pissed off that you turned to men. Men! And that idiot couldn’t even get you wet, let alone make you finish. Now you’re with someone who can, and, after a week of frustration and bitterness, god do you want to feel better.
You fold. “Maki…please,” you say, “I need it. I need you. I’ve…missed you.” The words ring dangerously true, and, for a second, you worry that’s all she wanted, to be able to say “I told you so.” She could leave right now, entirely satisfied by your desperation.
Maki tortures you with the few seconds she stays quiet, savoring the words she’s been trying to get you to concede. “Glad you admitted it,” she finally says, looking up from your chest with a glint in her eye that can only be described as devilish before she sinks down to her knees, hands traveling down your waist to your hips as she goes. Her attention elsewhere, she misses your equally devilish grin, so pleased with her decision. Even at the cost of your ego, you love getting what you want, and with Maki, it’s worth it.
You shudder when her fingers unbutton your shorts and then dip into the waistband and pull them down. Your hands settle on her shoulders as she runs her hand down the fabric of your underwear to nestle into the crevice between your legs.
“So wet already,” she says, rubbing the wetness seeping through your underwear between her fingertips. “So fucking desperate.”
“Put your mouth to better use,” you say, tugging your underwear down to mid-thigh.
“If that’s what my girl wants,” she says, finishing your movement, pulling your underwear down to your ankles with your shorts.
“I’m not your girl,” you argue, kicking off the fabric pooled at your feet.
“We’ll see how you feel later.”
Her fingers splay out over your hips, holding you still as she admires the mess she’s made out of you. Her hot breath fans against the wetness spread between your thighs, only reminding you of how soaking wet you are from hooking up with her for just a few minutes.
Maki puts her hand in between your thighs, once again running her fingers over your folds, only, this time it’s without the buffer of your underwear. You squirm a little, but her hold on your hip keeps you in place. She doesn’t make any attempt to avoid your clit, brushing against it as she dips into the wetness of your folds. The sensation is raw, and you squeeze at her strong shoulders every time she does it.
Then her fingers, thoroughly coated in your wetness, move back to your aching hole, circling and prodding the entrance with her fingertips. Your lower stomach tenses, anticipating the moment she’ll fill you and bring about the sensation you’ve been so desperately trying to replicate.
Instead, she leans forward, placing a kiss on your mound, before opening her mouth and latching it onto your clit, giving it a harsh suck.
“Maki!” you cry out, either from the shock or the pleasure, before slamming your palm over your mouth. You drop your voice to a whisper-shout. “You can’t surprise me like that, we have to stay quiet,” you say, eyeing the door.
“Keep it down then,” she mumbles into you, fingers digging into the softness of your sides. Her eyes flutter closed and she leans forward to encircle your clit with her mouth again, resuming her licking and sucking. You fight with yourself to keep the reactions internal, but it’s a losing battle, forcing you to clamp your hand over your mouth as you pant and moan.
This is a reason why you broke up. She’s always pushing you past your limit, like fucking you loudly in a closet at your friend’s party. It’s why you went after a man, because it would be quick, emotionless, and quiet. But, you don’t think that kind of hookup would have turned out to be nearly as hot as this one.
Her tongue swipes over your clit, lathering the bud with its delightful wet texture. Heated pants from her mouth warm your mound and folds. The hand not tasked with quieting your noises tangles into her hair as she goes down on you, leveraging a handful of her dark locks to move her head along with the pace that’ll get you there.
Tingles shoot through the sides of your abdomen when she presses her tongue flat against your clit, applying a pressure that has the dormant energy in your stomach making itself known. The sensation only intensifies when two fingers slip into you—with no warning, of course—but you find it hard to take issue with it because of how quickly they begin massaging your insides in the exact way you like.
“Bet that man wouldn’t think to touch you here,” Maki says, pushing her fingertips against your g-spot. She seems pleased when you moan from it. “Wouldn’t know how you like it, either.” She resumes licking you while pumping her fingers in and out, the sound of wet slick and moans filling the closet. The two-front stimulation has your thighs shaking, your poor body barely able to handle how good she’s making you feel.
“Fuck, Maki,” you moan. Your fingers covering your mouth have fallen open, the gaps letting your shuddery breaths through. Head clouded by lust, you don’t make an effort to muffle yourself again, every thrust of her fingers pushing any rational thought threatening to form from your head.
“I missed this,” she whispers between licks. She grins against you, “I know you did too.”
“Fuck–ah–fuck…you…” you get out.
“Mhmm,” she hums, amused.
“This is so…god, it feels so good–m’gonna…”
“Gonna?” she prods, “Keep talking if you want me to keep going.”
Your head falls to the side. “Gonna cum, I’m gonna cum for you. I feel it…I’m almost there.”
Her fingers curl deep inside you, pushing against the walls, intent on realizing your words.
“I feel it,” you repeat, delirious, “It feels so good, fuck, Maki, you make me feel so–”
Your fingers knot into her hair when it happens. A wave of pleasure slams into you and your head falls back against the wall, whole body shaking and surging with pleasure.
“Fuck, ohmygod,” you moan, ecstasy pushing up through your abdomen and down into your thighs.
You whine her name, begging for reprieve, but she doesn’t listen. Her tight grip on your hip offers you no escape, and she keeps licking and sucking until she gets every drop of pleasure from your orgasm out of you.
When she’s finished with you, only then can you crouch down against the wall, unable to remain standing. Your breath comes out rapid and uneven and you clutch Maki’s forearm until you can speak again.
“Too much for you?” Maki says, brushing your disheveled hair out of your face, “Still want a man instead?” She punctuates the taunt with a kiss to your cheek.
Though your instinct is to tease her back, to deny what you feel, you get out a ‘no’ before turning your face to meet her lips and bring her into a breathy, undoubtably sincere kiss. “I don’t want that.”
“Good,” Maki responds, before kissing you again.
There’s a knock on the closet door. You both snap your heads towards it; the crack of light shining through is now obscured by a figure outside.
That man’s familiar voice, entirely unpleasant to hear again, travels through the door. “Hey, sorry, I just…uh…can I come in real quick? Are you done talking?”
“What the fuck?” Maki whispers to you.
You pull your shirt back on, hurrying to tie it. “I–I don’t know–” you raise your voice to call out to him, “Just one second!”
“Uh…okay,” the man answers.
You drop your voice back down to a vicious whisper, “I told you we were too loud!”
“We?” Maki questions, grinning.
You huff, yanking your underwear and shorts back on. “Yes we were too loud,” you say to her, moving on to fixing your hair. Why did Maki have to make such a mess of it? She stares back at you, smiling and unconvinced. “Just…whatever,” you say, taking Maki’s hand and standing up.
You crack open the door, still flustered, with cum dripping down your legs that you have to hope he doesn’t notice.
“Hey, how’s it going?” you say, playing it as cool as you can. Maki snickers.
“Hi,” he responds with a wave. Then he drops his hand back down to his side before peering past your shoulder to notice Maki behind you.
You force a smile. “So…can we help you?” you ask.
“Uh, yeah. I left my lucky hat in there and I need it for beer pong.”
“Your hat?” you say.
“My lucky hat,” he corrects.
“Right,” you say, turning to look into the closet. Sure enough, there’s a baseball cap upside-down in the corner of the closet. “Oh, yeah, it’s just right over there.” You step out of the way so he can reach over and grab it.
He puts it on—backwards—and says, “Thanks for the help, ladies.” His eyes flick from your face to Maki’s and he clasps his hands together. “Y’know, you’re both pretty hot.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Thanks?”
“So…would you like…want to have a threesome?”
Maki rolls her eyes and with a dry laugh says, “You’re not our type.” She wraps her arm around you and pushes past the man in the doorway.
He watches you both head back to the party. “Uh, so is that a no?”
#jjk smut#maki zenin#maki zenin smut#maki zenin x reader#maki x reader#zenin maki#maki zenin x you#maki x you#lesbian jjk#maki zenin lesbian
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
could you do 112. "I don't feel like sleeping" + 114 "you won't be getting any sleep tonight" from the prompt list? pretty please I love your previous prompt!!
thank you and thank you for the request, i hope you enjoy :) this turned out to be kind of fluffy haha
It feels good to be home. As much as you loved every second of your one month long honeymoon in Italy, returning to the comforts of your own bed is just as exciting. You’re exhausted from the journey, even though you had spent most of it snoozing in your luxurious business class pod while Dominick had watched one movie after the other next to you. Even now he is wide awake, his hand dancing on the small of your back as he presses soft kisses onto your shoulder.
‘Babe…’ you protest, having just closed your eyes after saying goodnight.
‘What?’ Sonny whispers, his breath on your skin sending shivers down your spine.
‘Aren’t you tired?’
‘A little. But I don’t feel like sleeping…’ you can hear the smile in his voice.
You turn around to look at him - your gorgeous husband; and the fact that he just can’t seem to get enough of you just like you can’t get enough of him makes your heart flutter. Most of your honeymoon had been spent in bed, the rest of the time making out on the beach, making out in some alley while exploring the towns and cities you had visited, or feeding each other delicious Italian food. And you didn’t think it was possible to be even more attracted to him but ever since your wedding you seemed to have lost the physical ability to keep your hands to yourself whenever he was close. Now Dominick’s skin looks even more tan in the dim light of your bedroom and he seems to have the same thoughts running through his head, remembering all the things you have done, and wanting to continue exactly where you left off. That last night on the beach where no one could see you…
You reach out to touch him, fingertips tracing up his arm to his collarbone, over his chest, following the trail of hair down his stomach and you can feel his muscles tense, as you scoot closer to him. Dominick’s mouth finds yours, a kiss so full of longing as though you are reunited after spending too much time apart. A moan escapes your lips as your half-naked bodies make contact under the sheets, and you can already feel him grow hard. Never in your life could you have imagined a man wanting you, needing you this much. You revel in the feeling of being loved by someone as beautiful as him, someone as thoughtful and warm, someone as smart and funny, someone as passionate and devoted. There aren’t enough adjectives in the world for him. And he is all yours.
‘I love you.’ Dominick sighs, his lips wandering along your jaw, to your neck where he finds that spot just below your ear he knows is your favorite.
‘I love you.’ you reply, and you feel that dampness spreading between your legs, fire already pooling low in your abdomen.
His tongue flicks against your skin before sucking lightly, and you know he’s going to leave a mark but you don’t care. On the contrary, you love it. Especially when it’s time to return the favor, leaving scratches down his back, little bite marks all over his torso. It’s your way of saying ‘you’re mine’ and it drives him absolutely wild.
‘Hmm, guess you won’t be getting any sleep tonight.’ you laugh, pushing him onto his back to climb on top of him.
Dominick gasps as he feels your wet center against his length and he bites his lip, his eyes sparkling with excitement. You feel like the sexiest woman on the planet with him. His hands reach under your lacy camisole, and you pull it off as he cups your breasts, squeezing gently and your nipples harden against his palms.
‘Fuck, you are so beautiful. My beautiful wife.’ Dominick stares at you in awe and you blush, yes, you still blush every time.
‘My beautiful husband.’ you lean down to kiss him hungrily, tongue slipping inside his mouth and you feel him tremble beneath you.
His arms wrap around you as he flips you onto your back, unleashing that feverish urgency between the two of you where you just can’t hold back any longer. Foreplay has never really been your strong suit, growing too impatient for each other within seconds of being alone. Dominick slips his hand between your legs, growling at your wetness as you arch your hips to welcome his touch. He pushes your panties down, and his lips are once again at your neck, starting a journey downwards.
‘Sleep is so overrated.’ he mumbles as his tongue glides over your skin, his hands guiding the way to your breasts where his mouth closes over a nipple, his teeth softly grazing.
Shockwaves run through your entire body as his fingers once again find your wet heat, caressing your folds, thumb brushing over your clit with just the right amount of pressure. You moan his name, and his mouth continues to wander until it joins his hand at your pussy, and you shudder as he spreads your legs to settle between them. He parts your lips and his tongue flicks over your clit making your eyes roll back in pleasure.
‘Mhmm, does my baby like that?’ Dominick asks, looking up at you in a way that makes you want him even more, if that’s possible.
You can only nod, and he keeps eye contact as he begins to lick your bud, lapping up your juices.
‘Your pussy tastes so fucking delicious.’ he sighs. Good God. He could probably make you come just by talking like this.
But as much as you enjoy having him eat you out like you’re a thousand times tastier than the yummiest gelato, you need him. Inside you. It’s carnal, it’s desperate. He’s able to reduce you to your most animal instincts and he does it so well.
‘Dominick, p-please.’ you beg but he doesn’t stop, sucking on your clit so expertly it makes your thighs shake already.
‘So impatient. What do you need, my love?’ He knows but he wants you to say it out loud.
‘I need you inside me. Now.’ you answer, and he raises his brow playfully.
‘Funny how you wanted to go to sleep just a few minutes ago.’ he teases and you roll your eyes at him.
‘Dominick!’
He chuckles and kisses his way back up to your mouth and you push his underwear down, wrapping your legs around his waist and he doesn’t hesitate to push inside you.
‘This what you wanted?’ Dominick breathes and you moan at the sensation of him filling you up.
‘Yes, baby. Always.’ you run your fingers up and down his muscular back as he starts to fuck you slowly, his lips meeting yours in a bruising kiss.
Fuck, you love how he splits you open, how tight he makes you feel as his cock stretches you; he feels so perfect inside of you. Your heels press into his lower back, encouraging him to fuck into you a little faster, a little harder, as you grind yourself onto him, and you can tell how crazy it’s driving him to see you lose all control.
‘You feel so good, baby. I’ll never get enough of you.’ his arm tightens around you as he buries his face in your neck while his other hand reaches down to find your clit, beginning to rub circles there, knowing it will make you come in no time.
You both have gotten so good at it; figuring out just what the other one wants and needs. When, where, how. This intimacy had been there from the first night you had spent together, and you had known he was the one right away. Now he makes you pant and moan in a way no man has ever managed before him, and you run your fingers through his hair, pulling softly in order to get his mouth from your neck back onto your lips. Dominick smiles into the kiss, his hips rolling against yours, bringing you closer and closer to the edge with each thrust of his cock, hitting your g spot at just the right angle.
‘F-fuck yes, right there, oh GOD!’ you whimper, pressing your forehead against his as you grow more and more flushed, more and more frantic.
‘Mmhmm you’re so hot, doll. All I wanna do is make you cum.’ Dominick purrs, his fingers applying more pressure on your swollen clit while pumping into you harder, your pussy clenching around him as he brings you closer and closer to your climax.
The muscles on his back begin to tense and you come hard just as he spills into you with a moan, and you’re seeing stars, writhing around him, his throbbing cock pulsing his release into you. And in this deafening pleasure one single thought enters your mind as he kisses you shakily. You can’t wait to have his babies. You can’t wait for him to get you pregnant. For some reason you have never thought about it so consciously until now. And while he continues to plunge into you, riding out his orgasm, you reach another peak, screaming his name.
#sonny carisi#dominick carisi#svu#law and order svu#sonny carisi x reader#dominick carisi x reader#dominick carisi smut#sonny carisi smut#smut#smut prompt
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
WOW!!! I LOVED "The Innocent Act Of Dredging Up The Past", IT WAS VERY GOOD!
I wonder how Y/N reacted when she found out she was pregnant and how Fox allowed herself to keep the baby because he doesn't seem like someone who likes sharing attention.
Thank you so much darling!!! I am so glad you asked me this because I have been thinking about Ren as a father nonstop since that request. My brain has been full of many thoughts and opinions and I am happy to have an outlet for sharing lol. That being said, forgive my blathering. ^^;
(18+ and warnings for noncon, pregancy/baby birthing talk, incredibly unhealthy relationships, abuse, and being kidnapped/held against your will.)
Being impregnated by Ren would be absolutely dreadful for you, causing you to spiral into a pit of fear and despair the moment you miss a period or begin to feel queasy in the morning. With the signs starting to show, your brain comes to the instant conclusion that you are with child-his child, and it frightens you like nothing else before. At first you try and convince yourself nothing is wrong, that you are probably just late due to stress, and your upset stomach can be any number of things, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are pregnant. Any of your symptoms can be explained away by something else, so in an effort to try and maintain your sanity your brain churns out explanation after explanation, no matter how nonsensical they may be, in hopes of calming your rampant nerves by coming to some other resolution. A stream of constant lies and false reassurances play on repeat in your brain, forcing the thought that you may actually be a mother to the farthest reaches of your mind.
But the longer you wait and the more you dwell on it, the more you are faced with the inevitable. He never wears protection, you haven’t had access to birth control, and despite your warnings of it being a delicate time of month for you, his base instincts always won out in the end. There was nothing else this could be.
Faced with the reality of the situation, you were now tasked with the burden of sharing the news with Ren. You didn’t want to tell him, terrified of what his response would be, worried that he would somehow blame this all on you and hurt you because of it, quite possibly worse than he ever has before. But an even more horrifying concern than that is if the news actually pleases him. What if he wants to keep the baby? What if you were forced to carry this pregnancy to term while trapped in this grim environment, left to raise another human that shares half their dna with a man who has done nothing but cause you irrevocable damage?
No matter what the outcome, none of them are favorable.
But you didn’t have a choice, and you knew it was better to break it to Ren sooner rather than later, lest this whole nightmare become irreversible. In the event he saw things your way, you wanted this thing out of your body as soon as possible (though you loathed to consider what strings Ren would pull to achieve this, and what backwater procedure would be done to do so).
At first Ren brushes it off, not truly believing your concern. He’s had sex with you countless times without protection and just now you get pregnant? Seems suspicious, so he concludes you’re either overreacting or trying to get a rise out of him, potentially both, and that in and of itself riles him up. Are you telling him this as some kind of ploy? Are you using a false pregnancy as a means to get him to ease up on you a bit or as an attempt at escape? After all you had gone through together, after all the love he has lavished upon you by sharing his home, his life, his heart, with you… Would you really tell a lie like this?
He struggles with that possibility. Despite his inclination to feel otherwise, he has a hard time believing you would use a pregnancy scare for your own selfish benefit. You have always been a good girl, his good girl, and deep inside he knows this is not something that is within your nature to do, even if he does have some major doubts.
So, though he doesn’t truly believe your claims, he buys the pregnancy test more as a means to shut you up and prove a point than because he actually believes you. Needless to say, he ends up biting his tongue over that one.
When hit with the truth, his emotions are mixed. On one hand, he wants nothing to do with children or child rearing. He didn’t have to do much of a self-assessment to recognize he would be a shit father, and he never particularly wanted to be a father to begin with. His own upbringing wasn’t the best, he himself never really having a father figure that was worth a damn to guide him or show him any love or support. He had no parenting manual to go off of, and was sure that a culmination of having no positive family experience and maturing into the warped individual he had become led to no other conclusion than NOT being cut out for fatherhood in the slightest.
More than that however, the thought of sharing you, even with a life he helped create, really REALLY pissed him off. Thinking of all the nights you would be spending tending to the baby when you could instead be wrapped up in his arms, or all the attention and affection you will be giving some inept kid that could instead be going towards him, truly gets under his skin. He doesn’t WANT to share you. You’re HIS. And while a baby isn’t going to change that, he doesn’t want the needless competition to begin with.
But on the other hand, having a baby does have its appeal. It would be nice to bring a life into this world that loves him from the get-go, completely relying on him while being totally oblivious to all that has happened in the past. That sort of pure, blind love is hard to come by in this world, and the fact that he could obtain it so easily from a life he created with you, a human that has your blood running through its veins, is EXTREMELY appealing. And on top of that, you are sure to love the child whether its conception was wanted/planned or not. If you loved a child that was half his for the remainder of your life, would that not bind you to him for just as long? Though he didn’t doubt your loyalty (or his ability to keep you tied to him with no hope of escape), it would be a nice assurance to have in the rare event things did not end up going his way.
Once that thought enters his head, it’s over. No further thinking or future planning is required-he is going to be a father, and YOU are the beautiful mama! Congratulations! (Does he get off to you being pregnant? Did this pregnancy make Ren Hana realize he has a breeding kink??? Sources say yes and that’s your problem to deal with now. :))
♡
Holding his newborn for the first time, he has never been so nervous. Tears flood his eyes as he watches the small bundle squirming in his arms, his heart aching as they stare up at him with wide, pure, inquisitive eyes. He was no stranger to ending lives, but creating them? This was something entirely new, as exhilarating as it was scary. His smile grew as he stared at her small face, pleased that she looked so much like you. He could only hope that her personality would mirror yours as well.
♡
As time passes and the baby grows, you find out quick that Ren has a very ‘hands off’ way of parenting, which is to say he relies on you to do most of the work. And honestly, he feels that is fair. He’s the breadwinner who works hard to provide for you and the newborn, which leaves all other parental duties in your capable hands. You are left to be the child’s main caregiver, their guiding force to lead them through life, their teacher, confidante, and friend. It’s a daunting task, all residing solely on your shoulders.
Ren won’t readily admit it, but he much prefers it that way. All the abuse that he has suffered through from an early age, every heinous act of violence that has been carried out by his own hands (your wounds, included), all of it has turned him into something unrecognizable, something grotesque. Even if he wanted to have more of a presence in his child’s life, he knows he doesn’t deserve it. If he had too much sway in the kids development there’s a good chance they will grow up to be like him in some way or another, which would be a waste of all the love and hard work that you had put into raising them into being an upstanding person. Ren had made peace with who he had become, but that didn’t mean he wanted to keep a cycle that someone like Strade had begun going either.
So, the baby more or less becomes your soul responsibility, and god is that a burden for you. It’s bad enough that you have such little support from Ren to begin with, but the fact that this is YOUR first time being a parent as well makes it all so much worse. You have no idea what the hell you are doing, and with Ren making sure to keep you as isolated as possible you had no one else to turn to for help, either. It was just you and this brand new life with no one else to rely on, if you fucked up in even the smallest way it could be devastating to the baby. If your daughter got truly hurt, sick, or worse in your care, you didn’t know how you would live with the repercussions, let alone handle Ren’s reaction.
If your life with Ren hadn’t already made you a strung out, nervous, irritable wreck, being a mother certainly would. As she continues to grow, Ren refuses to discipline the child at all, not wanting in any way to appear like a ‘bad guy’ to your daughter. Given the circumstances, part of you is thankful for that (you honestly don’t know what you would do if he turned his ire towards her), but it also just makes things more difficult with you. You are already beyond stressed about trying to raise a child in this type of environment, having no united front and constantly butting heads makes raising her that much harder, especially when any kind of rule you attempt to establish can so easily be overridden by her father who has no remorse over the frustration this causes, nor care as to how his flippancy may affect your child’s development in the long run.
It’s also not lost on you that being the sole disciplinarian also paints you in a less than favorable manner in your child’s eyes, something you are sure Ren has thought about as well. Being the ‘strict’ parent means your child will be more likely to hide things from you, or seek out her father instead of you for support, approval, and advice. Given whom Ren was as a person, this thought didn’t sit particularly well with you.
All you can really hope and pray for is that somehow despite the lack of social interaction and outside influence she will grow up to be a decent human. Even maturing under the delusion that her father is a noble man, even if in some instances you have to make yourself the villain, as long as it helps her out in the long run you’ll do everything you can to insure your daughter lives the best life she possibly can, whether her father helps you or not.
I think the REAL problems will begin when the child gets older. When she truly comes into herself and forms her own opinions, develops her own personality, and starts to forge her own way of life… It’s gonna be messy. :/ Your child’s autonomy is definitely going to be a point of contention for Ren in the future, and he won’t be so pleased if/when she catches on to his true nature and begins to rebel or straight up reject him. God forbid she tries and join forces with you or attempt to become your savior. It’s going to take a lot of cunning on her end to make it out unscathed.
Also, I kind of touched on it previously, but Ren would be incredibly horny the whole pregnancy. Not that he isn’t already incessantly slavering over you, something about seeing you round and full just makes him snap. Which is scary in its own right, Ren isn’t the most gentle of lovers to begin with and has a tendency to lose himself more often than naught, hurting you in the process. It’s a constant struggle to satiate him while protecting yourself and the unborn baby, best of luck to you! :D
(And he’ll definitely breastfeed from you. He’s gotta make sure you are producing enough for the baby, ya know? :))
#overall I think he would really grow to love the fun and cute aspects of fatherhood#but all the hard and gross stuff hes like OK I am out moms turn fuck this#and he would be fixated on making himself out to be the coolest dad ever. He yearns for it. His kid HAS to think hes awesome in every way.#If his child makes fun of him he will cry and think about it for the rest of his life.#it will be 3am 8 years later and he will randomly mention the time they laughed at him to you while lying in bed together and you are like#why do you even remember this? lul#anyway THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!#ren hana x reader#ren hana headcanon#ren hana x y/n#ren btd x reader#ren btd x y/n#fox tpof x reader#fox tpof x y/n#fox tpof headcanon#mothresponse#mothwingswritings
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ghost eats a lot. He has to if he wants to keep his huge physique and the demand of being able to carry almost a hundred pounds of gear at minimum and have the strength to fight his foes with the precise speed he canonically has in hand to hand as well as running as fast as fcking Captain America??
We have seen this man run through that forest in that one video??? Iykyk.
Yeah, I’m sorry to say but that man is PACKING away food like a damn horse. There’s no way that man starves himself. That’s a motherfucker who has the appetite to compete with a fucking Hobbit. He’s got a special diet of five meals per day💀
#this man eats the military out of house and home#I’m sorry but I do NOT believe for a second Simon starved himself for days like some people hc#especially if he’s on deployment#when he’s at home? I truly believe he’s binging food all day.#I mean he’s got food within five feet of his vicinity. It doesn’t matter if it’s cooked by him or shit he bought at a market#that’s also not to mention if he has a fast metabolism he’s going to be hungry within like an hour or two. he needs those calories#big beast of a man like him eats lke there’s no tomorrow#I’m sorry to rant(?) but this has been bothering me for a hot minute#the only reason *why* he might not eat is either rationing giving it to another who needs it more like an injured comrade or civilians#A hangry Simon Riley would level a town for some Cheetos#this man would be grateful if someone cooked him a big ass meal and it meets his huge appetite lbr#a way to a man’s heart? through the stomach#cod#cod mw2#cod modern warfare#cod mwii#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley call of duty#ghost call of duty#simon riley x reader
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love that they added these new bits of dialog about how much he likes eggs—
I'M SORRY????
#this is so fucking funny#I love this patch already#truly the way to a man's heart is through his stomach#which is full of raw eggs#baby boy why#are the gains that important#help#sdv#stardew valley#sdv alex#alex mullner
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
Crowley really said the first thing you tasted on earth was by my temptation and the last you’ll taste is me.
#so real for that too#Crowley knows the way to that man’s heart is through his stomach#good omens#ineffable husbands
4K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
smilingcrittersthingig
Critter AU
micarxena
citoyenne d'un after
goldenbettywhite-blog
"I'm the luckiest old broad on two feet."
itsagoodhurt
Untitled
cosplaygalaxy
Cosplay Galaxy