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tubborucho · 2 days

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Small Soulfire moments that I have playing in my mind (headcanons):

Lenay sitting by the fire pit and peeling potatoes for dinner, while watching with a soft smile how everyone is busy doing something.

Rivers teaching Niki sword fighting. They have a lot of fun and return to the base dripping wet and cold from cleaning themselves in the ocean, but happy nonetheless.

Pac making a flower garland and putting it on sleeping Arin, who is carefully sat, leaning on one of the pillars not far from the fire. Mike and Kameto were also moved to the base from the old Green one. Pac makes sure to cover them in softest blankets.

The whole SoulGayFire taking a group pic on Pol’s camera. It’s a little bit silly and a couple of people have blinked, but they still put the photo on the wall and hide the copies in the inventories, hoping to hold onto them despite whatever comes next.

Tubbo has a habit to fall asleep in the weirdest places, overworking himself for the team. So whoever finds him either makes sure to make him comfortable or carries him to the bedroom.

Bagi and Fit spend a lot of time keeping the place clean and organized. It’s a Sisyphus task, but they honestly don’t mind. For both of them it’s a way to gather themselves and calm down when needed.

Badboyhalo playing Hide and Seek in the base with the Little Buddies. He can see them peering from under the arm chairs and from behind the chests, but pretends to not for the longest time. He hugs each one of them after he finds them.

Tubbo, Bad and Tina spending hours in a small room with only a table inside, surrounded by hand-drawn maps and lists and lists of plans and calculations.

Tina paints each cup in the base separately, so everyone would have a unique one. Missa brings her different dyes to do so.

Pierre has no dreams on this island. At all. Despite the everyday chaos and anger and despair, those are the first weeks in a long while he actually gets a good night rest.

Mariana doesn’t really understand the game or where they are and what’s going on. What he does understand, though, that he misses Charlie, and that this tea that Tina made for him is very good.

ElQuackity doesn’t know how to feel. He’s always been either hated or pretending to be his twin. Or both. And he is pretending to be Quackity once again, so he shouldn’t take the affections he gets here close to heart. But Bagi looks at him with a fondness of desperately wanting to care for someone and Tubbo seems genuinely proud of his achievements during the team events. It plants a seed of uncertainty in his soul. He almost wants to believe someone can accept him as him. Almost.

#liss writes posts #qsmp #team soulfire #qsmp tubbo #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp tina #qsmp pierre #qsmp missa #qsmp bagi #qsmp fit #qsmp rivers #qsmp niki #qsmp pol #qsmp lenay #qsmp elquackity #qsmp pac #qsmp arin #qsmp kameto #qsmp mike

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blitzwhore · 22 hours

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That ask you got made me realize that Blitzø and Stolas both show 4 of those 5 responses at various points, which I think is very interesting. I really never thought about it before but that's actually pretty impressive bc it never seems "out of character" for them. I think Blitzø leans more towards fight tho we see a lot of fawning from him too, and I think Stolas leans more towards fawn but I guess Blitzø really did make him feel braver bc he shows a lot of fight too.

Fight: Blitzø in FM ballroom + after Striker steals the phone from Stolas + both fighting with and saving Fizz in Oops // Stolas confronting Stella on his balcony + most of his interactions with Striker in WE + most of his scenes in Truth Seekers

Flight: Blitzø avoiding Stolas once things got complicated + not giving Fizz the love letter // Stolas in FM hallway + trying to escape Striker in the café

Fawn: Blitzø to the client in Murder Family + in FM bedroom + trying to talk to Loona in Seeing Stars about her people skills // Stolas when Blitzø comments on his Ozzie's outfit + to Stella in LLL + in a lot of his texts to Blitzø post-Ozzie's

Freeze: both freeze up in Ozzie's + potentially Stolas in the FM ballroom bc we don't see him move except to flinch until the very end but that might just be him forcing himself to stop running

Listing it out like that also made me realize that those two spend a good chunk of the series some degree of scared, nervous, or feeling unsafe. These poor guys 😭😭

Yeah, once you start to think about how present their trauma is in their lives, you can't help but notice that they're both extremely traumatised and broken people. It's really sad, and really well done, in my opinion.

I really like how complex they both are and how many different symptoms of trauma they show—both survival reactions like the ones listed here, and just their thoughts and fears and how they handle their relationships.

What's really interesting and compelling to me is how similar they are despite how different their lives have been. And how the more episodes come out, the more obvious this becomes.

Like, up until now, we knew that Stolas often fawned to keep the peace for fear of being a burden or making others uncomfortable, like he did in his text messages to Blitz, and in Ozzie's when he immediately agreed to leave when Blitz said so. And we knew that Blitz hated himself, that his biggest fear was dying alone, that he couldn't even bear to look at his own face in pictures.

And then, in The Full Moon, we get Blitz going into an extremely childish and heartbreaking fawn spiral with his "I can always do better", making himself smaller, smiling, wagging his tail. And we get Stolas covering every single picture (and item) in his house, and then taking the time to uncover Via so she's visible, but not himself. And we get Stolas terrified of dying alone.

And to me, this conveys really well how no one's trauma is worse than others', how no traumatised person is more or less broken or hurt than the rest, how there's no "lesser" trauma. How traumatised people can't be neatly divided into "people who become sensitive and weak" and "people who develop thick skin". How your trauma may present differently and uniquely depending on the circumstances, but deep down the truth is always that you were deeply hurt, and you can't bear to be hurt again, and your life has become a constant cycle of trying (and failing, due to self-fulfilled prophecies) to avoid going through that pain again.

Truly, masterfully done ❤️

#helluva boss #helluva boss the full moon #blitz helluva boss #helluva boss blitz #stolitz #stolas helluva boss #helluva boss stolas #Trauma tw

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bashslash · 3 days

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song analysis for bashslash 💗 ( for @shesttyy )

~ all of the girls you loved before (taylor swift; single: a.o.t.g.y.l.b)

; this song is about Taylor saying she is better than all of the exes of her current partner ( lyrics : “every woman that you knew brought you here. I wanna teach you how forever feels”. “All of the girls you loved before. But I love you more” ). it's a love letter to them. A love letter to all of those who have shaped her lover to who they are now, and how they love her as a whole. ( lyrics : “Your past and mine are parallel lines. Stars all aligned and they intertwined. And taught you. The way you call me, “baby.” Treat me like a lady.” ). Unlike any of her other songs, she feels security in her relationship instead of jealousy. This relationship is secure, and all of her partner’s exes brought them together. ( lyrics : “Every dead-end street led you straight to me” ). This song was believed to be about Joe Alwyn, as at the time of release they were going strong (7 year anniversary).

: tying back in with the idea of Dean having a girlfriend in Chicago or many ex girlfriends, they definitely shaped his view on love. They chiseled away at him in ways that were both good and bad. Although he doesn’t know how because he’s never had a healthy view on love and romantic feelings. The relationships were never secure, nor were they showing him how forever feels. [ However Dean definitely has the mindset of calling his girls babe/baby. And it does carry on when he gets with Fulton. (“If I had a girlfriend, I’d call her babe… cause she’s a babe. But I have Fulton (a boyfriend) and that’s like the same thing right? It’s still a romantic attraction, just different genders so… I’m gonna call him babe”). He just likes seeing Fulton blush -_- ]. But with Fulton it’s completely different. It’s easy in a way that’s still challenging because easy is boring. He likes the challenge, he likes Fulton. He likes how easy it is with him when they are being all tender and soft, it doesn’t feel like a chore for him, but he also likes the challenge of their arguments. Don’t get him wrong he HATES arguing with Fulton [loves arguing though], but he kinda just likes the combativeness because he’s so quick to it. He thinks Fulton fighting back is pretty hot (because Fulton isn’t like that, not all the time. He’s gentle and sweet and kind, but he’d throw punches at anyone who lays a finger on his teammates. But it also takes him a lot of pushing to be thrown over the edge. He does try to work it out or calm everything down before resorting to pushing and fighting and yelling). Being with Fulton is like breathing, it's like charging head first into a brawl out on the ice, it’s like laying in warm sand on a sunny day at the beach. It shows him how forever feels.

: the lyric “your past and mine are parallel lines” really does fit with them in the sense of their trauma.

↳ Fulton has a traumatic familial relationship: he’s in and out of foster homes, his bio parents weren’t all that great, although somehow he will end up back in the care of his father. (His bio mom was an angel. He looks the most like her, he has her hair, her nose, her eyes. He has her love of reading, her love for animals, her love for gardening; well learning about flowers. His dad, on the other hand, is an alcoholic abusive deadbeat. He didn’t want a kid, he wastes away on the couch spending all his money on beer or out finding something to hit (it used to be Fulton, that’s how he got the scar on his cheek. He’s bigger than him now, and can fight back. The only thing Fulton got from his dad was his love for hockey, his broad shoulders and some of his anger). He’s been in the foster system, he’s been to institutions because people on the streets believed he had issues and that he might become a danger to those around him (for sticking up for kids on the streets, being quiet and having a mean slap shot). He believes he’s unloveable, and those thoughts were put into his head by his father figures. He hides who he is, he keeps to himself, he’s afraid to love, he’s afraid to feel. He’s afraid to get hurt again… by someone he loves. (He started smoking weed to distract himself).

{D3} Dean hurt him by leaving, The Ducks hurt him by choosing to stay at Eden Hall instead of fighting for their name, Charlie hurt him by saying he isn’t needed.

{D1, D2, D3} He was hurt by Bombay constantly leaving and him constantly giving the Ducks up for anything else, giving him up. He felt as though, like Charlie, Bombay was a fatherly figure to him. All of his father’s walked out on him, or hated him, it felt like he was walking away too.

↳ Dean’s familial relationship is much of the same. They don’t love him, and much like everyone else in his life, they only notice him when he fails, when he makes a complete fool out of himself. When he acts like a big jerk, a doofus, an idiot. They are highly religious people, who forced religion on him the moment he was born. They made him go to church, Sunday school, they forced him to read the Bible whenever he did something bad. They yelled at him for his mistakes and they yelled at him for his apologies. He grew up to be tough, he was raised tough, and he grew up to rebel. Against his parents, against school administrators, and teachers, against anyone who told him he was to stupid to make it anywhere in life. He’s a guilt ridden, traumatized, child behind the iron bars around his heart. He’s a lone wolf, with no familial support, no friends, teammates in Chicago he keeps around for convenience (well now they are ex teammates), not that they ever liked him. The Ducks are different, they are good people. They are close, they banter, they support each other. That’s what they do. They are their own little found family, and Dean really doesn’t want to even think about the fact they have got to him. That they wormed their way into his heart. They make him… soft, inside, and Dean doesn’t want to let them get away with it. Fulton, maybe, he’d let get away with turning him all mushy, but the rest of them. Hell no. (He lets it happen anyways because they are the only people who care about him, who support him. And in turn he’s got their backs, maybe that’s just cause he’s their enforcer, maybe it’s something else).

(When I think of Dean Portmman’s parents, I think of John Bender from ‘The Breakfast Club’. “John Bender : [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. [Imitating his Mother] John Bender : You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. [Father's voice] John Bender : Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie. [His own voice] John Bender : No dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you. [His own voice] John Bender : No dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you. [His own voice] John Bender : Dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you! [Pantomimes getting punched in the face]” ).

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tulipe-rose · 3 days

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Day 2 of me backing up my platonic skk agenda: (long post ahead)

It would be pretty hard to convince people with my point of view on this one, I almost gave up lmao, but I'm relentless when it comes to proving myself as right so I'm putting this out there ✊🏼 I'm not expecting many to agree lol

We all know, and love/hate/have complicated/no feelings for Beast!Dazai, right? I won't be focusing on him either way since he's too unstable/not really focused or have the time for love atm, so any romantic emotions would've been dispelled way too early on due to his unique situation.

At least I'm sure we all love Beast!Chūya. What separates between him, and his canon self is how outwardly protective Chūya is of Dazai, but it isn't exactly out of nowhere. A lot of people in the fandom just think of it being the result of Soukoku spending more time together, which isn't far removed from what I believe, but not exactly it either.

I believe that the key reason why Chūya is like this is because of Oda's absence.

Oda was such an important part of Dazai's life, he treated him like the child he was, while upholding the appropriate boundaries due to the drastic difference in their positions, and eventually gave him a purpose to keep going. Oda was arguably the older brother Dazai could've had if it weren't for the circumstances, Oda's untimely death, and the Port Mafia's tight hierarchy system.

In this lifetime, Oda wasn't present, or more precisely, Dazai didn't give him the chance to be present, which ultimately led to Dazai being much more withdrawn, outwardly sadistic, yet inwardly vacant, his self proclaimed apathetic self ever present. Chūya witnessed his steady decline in both health, and mentality since Dazai returned from that mission; the day I picked up Dazai never happened as in canon, and Oda never knew Dazai beyond his facial features until their reunion.

Oda isn't there, so Chūya had to make sure that Dazai's self destructive behaviour didn't destroy him, subconsciously looking out for him more, and paying more attention to him by the day, but disguising it behind threats, and insults; It's rightful with how Dazai acts to be honest.

He was there during the time where Dazai rose to the Boss position, and it must've been paranoia inducing for Chūya, not because Dazai can't protect himself from the assassins, (that man will not die unless he allows you to kill him) but because he could very much allow them to kill him if they were trying a painless approach such as poison; this is what probably made Chūya stand so closely to Dazai, he needed to be close by to deflect any incoming attacks, yet far enough for his ability to not be nullified, and even then I think he only resorted to such close proximity because of an incident that threatened Dazai's life too much. The following panel is what somewhat backs up what I've been blabbering about for the past sentence.

Chūya did it out of care, and worry for his partner, but was it ever romantic? Well, no opinion is ever right in such situations, but I'll humbly say that it feels somewhat familial-ish/closest+only friend-ish from Chūya's side. HEAR ME OUT ON THIS OKAY–

I feel like the way Chūya is reprimanding, and absolutely forbidding Dazai from this despite their positions could be interpreted as a concerned brother/friend yelling at his ignorant younger sibling/best friend. Chūya went on a rampage after Dazai's suicide, and wouldn't a brother or a friend do that too? Yes, a brother or a friend would, the proof being Chūya's course of action after finding out about the flags' death, and Verlaine's talk about them being brothers in inhumanity. (ik how different both situations are, but they both have people that Chūya cared for die, the former being more painful because of how long they knew each other, and because he tried so hard to prevent this from happening, yet it happened either way. This isn't the first time Chūya lost someone important to him, so it's bound to hurt a lot more.)

We didn't see enough of their current dynamic to rule out any familial/platonic relations, so I don't see why this wouldn't be valid. There could be hundreds of interpretations, but all of them sum up to Chūya caring about Dazai; it's up to you, and how you choose to view it.

Exasperated exhale I rest my case, and god the hate I might get for this simple opinion is on sight lmao-

#bsd #saff-ron tag #writers on tumblr #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #bsd beast #beast dazai #beast chuuya #platonic skk agenda #platonic skk #this took too long omg #i'm actually pretty nervous about posting this #here goes nothing #(?)

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self-loving-vampire · 15 hours

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theres this cohort of transfems that overlaps with the tma/tme discourse who seem to spend all their time reinforcing an intense doomerism and fear of the world that feels very maladaptive to me. its very demoralizing to watch

I think they're definitely sympathetic in that regard, though. If you look through the tag I linked there has definitely been a major reactionary backlash in multiple countries that are increasingly trying to legislate trans people (and GNC people, and others) out of public life entirely. There was even a proposed bill that would have made going out while trans into "obscenity".

I think that's definitely worth being aware of and talking about. I'd just do it with different language and a different framing. To me, the main things to be critical of here are:

1- Essentialist assumptions about gender based on oppositional sexism. The idea that men are inherently one way and women are inherently another way and there can be no overlap, no third categories, no understanding, etc.

These ideas are unfortunately extremely ingrained even in queer people.

2- Cissexist social norms that treat being trans as inherently undesirable. We see this in things like medical gatekeeping that treats letting people transition as a last resort or a failure state. Something to try only after all efforts to make someone cis have failed, if that.

3- General obstacles to bodily autonomy. The idea that you should be able to do what you want with your own body is still considered extreme, especially if you have any kind of disability. People just assume they know what you want better than you do and so they must control your life and your body. I have also mentioned before that trans rights are tied to abortion, disability rights, and more. Attacks on one are often recycled to attack the others.

4- The efforts of specific far-right groups like Alliance Defending Freedom and the Heritage Foundation. A lot of the recent attacks on trans rights (both legal and social) have links to the same handful of wealthy christian conservative organizations, and they also cooperate with transphobic governments abroad.

...And lots of other things.

So there's clearly a lot of substantial barriers to trans rights there, and I think that's important to understand at least on a basic level even if it's scary or depressing. Without that knowledge it is much more difficult to change anything, or even make personal plans about how to navigate the situation.

There's also good news, of course. A lot of the conservative attacks in the US specifically are unpopular and failing, there's legal challenges on the way regarding the recent situation in the UK, various anti-trans groups involved in crafting this legislation have been officially designated as hate groups, and generally as trans people have become a normal part of people's lives acceptance has somewhat increased even if panic among the right also has.

But there's still dangers to be aware of and prepared for, and the hate has been so overt and extreme since forever that it's hard to blame people for being so wary. Like, I am someone who had to become an international refugee because of transphobia so I know it can really be a sort of nightmare situation. I only survived it by making precise plans and deceiving dangerous people.

#long post #transphobia

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causticsunshine · 8 months

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#people keep commenting on my fics begging for updates but i’m gonna be real y’all: i have nawt been feeling it lately #i’m still gonna finish them ofc ofc but i’ve not been in the mood to write and i’ve barely been paying attention to #much in the hilb verse / larrie nation as of late #my interest is spread across a few different things rn + work has been really hard lately #plus life in general. and there are so many awful things happening in the world #the consistent apartheid in palestine. the coltan mining disasters in congo. the horrors in sudan.#i just don’t feel in the right state to be spending my limited spare time on fanfic + on a hobby i’m not feeling very connected to at the #current time #i appreciate the support and desire to read more of my work ofc #but just as always on top of what i said above #comments strictly begging for updates make me #feel adverse to updating? like they don’t motivate me at all to work. they just stress me out #so i apologize but that also hasn’t been helping #the most i’ve been able to do the last month and a half is half heartedly edit chapter two of SMYL #it’s almost entirely smut and that’ssss also a struggle for me to write when there’s a lot of it #(and yet i have lengthy detailed smut in everything i write oops)#i will try though i hate having so much on the backburner. i just wanted to give a general update on things #alex talks

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1o1percentmilk · 1 year

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i love being low empathy AND low compassion and i definitely do not hate how this affects every single interaction i have with people

#like man. im trying. im trying really hard to be a human being with human emotions like everyone else but i am just a little freak #i crawled out of the woods when i was a little baby and now i look normal but when you blink i transform into a wolf monster thing #with big sharp teeth and big sharp claws and big pointy ears black fur up my arms and legs.#if you manage to catch a glimpse of it before you shut your eyes you will know who i am.#and i try to speak to people with my flat werewolf tongue but the words do not sound right and i hunt down mice and rabbits and drop #them at the doorstep of everyone who i ever adored and maybe you'll regard them with some sort of endearment but still #i cannot be touched or brushed or pet because i am too scared #and my werewolf brain doesn't understand that people are just being nice to be nice without an ulterior motive #my werewolf brain does not understand why people are sad nor does it care despite knowing that i should and wanting to care #my werewolf brain does not understand humans but it doesn't understand wolves either and i am alone #to laugh and play and run by myself in the woods trying to forget that i am not human and will probably never be.#i just RGHH hate being this way.... the autism........#a lot of people feel differently but i really hate it and i spend a lot of time trying to be normal. sorry.

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politicallyinvolvedpandabear · 2 years

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Wow, I really love radfems so much. Anyone who, like, gets it. Understands.

I like consuming entertainment/media a lot, and I especially do it now that I have more free time and want something to enjoy during these trying times, but it just occurred to me why even though I usually like what I watch, it’s been doing nothing for me for the most part.

It’s the men. It’s because it’s made by men. Not only is the fandom super male-dominated and therefore male (looking up an underage female character and getting unwanted porn of her lmao), I’m so used to the disappointment and whatnot that I forgot what the cause and reason was.

Basically, when I surround myself with women or see female takes, I feel much happier and connected to others/positive/cheerful. But when I watch something made by a man and can feel it through the sexualization and uncomfortable everything and all of that, then I totally clock out and am disconnected from humanity/others like, “Ok, disappointment. No thanks. No more.”

I like to check tumblr quite often and sometimes I know outright that it’s because I want to see radfem blogs and regain my sanity, but yeah.... It’s really true that who you surround yourself with can influence you and your mood. Coming to this realization was nice. “It doesn’t have to be this way” <-- me and my lack of expectations for media/others

No one’s perfect, but I certainly feel a lot more love towards radfem/”TERF” blogs than I do anyone else I know (since they’re either male or are sipping the libfem Koolaid and probably wouldn’t get it).

I hope all of y’all keep it up, being so cool and all. I’ll definitely fight for us! ✊ You’re all great. c:

#my own rambles #i purposely don't specify or name a lot of things in detail because i dont want to be found out lol #right now my dash is divided between the radfems and the libfems i used to follow and #the difference in posts is so stark lmao #i dont unfollow because i dont mind seeing both sides #but since becoming acquainted with radfems... the libfem side is SO unintelligent hahahaha #anyway i'm surrounded by men in my fandoms but i dont HAVE to interact with them #or take the entertainment that seriously too #this is coming from someone who likes art a lot #this is quite a freeing thought...#i'll spend my time reading that article i had open from that one radfem post #i shouldnt waste my time on/with men #even by proxy through their shit art... trying to find what i want/makes me excited #yeah this is quite the revelation. i hate men after all so why am i even giving them a chance?#i wanna fix my thoughts regarding this and be more conscious about them. i definitely wanna be around women more #talking to myself haha. ok! i like this post.#i'm really so grateful and glad i found radfems #they are the coolest people i know. like... usually i feel nothing towards people. no expectation. only disappointment #but radfem posts can actually make me smile. and FEEL things. actual connection/love to other humans wow!#not just my own morals guiding me on.... me actually genuinely liking people and being curious about them #not wanting to disappoint some of my fave radfems lmao #i'm writing posts at like 2 AM again but i'll try to take these lessons into tomorrow/the future ^^#tbh though i actually feel unused to sharing my thoughts since regular people are SO hostile and i dont want them in my notifs #radfems are human too so i dont really expect a warm welcome from them or anything #but i'd be happy to throw my thoughts into the void without the worry of someone bothering me over it... like picking a fight/being rude #this is the internet though so i'll brace myself as always i guess xD #i wanna make a post talking about my other feelings/the other aspect of my identity but idk when i'll do it #i know people have mixed opinions but i'm not doing it for THEM necessarily. i'd just like to share for fun

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ghostlyheart · 1 year

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Happy Valentines Day!! 💝 I hope you spend the day being haunted by someone you love 👻 (or if you're like me, just eating a lot of heart-shaped candy)

Poll:

#I really REALLY wanted to make a little video for valetines day but I ran out of time 🥲#maybe I'll do something late over the long weekend #for now I offer you my hot takes that absolutely nobody asked for:#the Arondekars- LOVE LOVE THEM. they're everything. just like wwdits‚ the married couple is my favorite ship. idk what this says abt me #Isaac/Nigel- I think they're really sweet!! I don't think I'm as into them as some people but I do like them a lot #the concept alone is so charming and it's a choice that establishes the show a bit from the original that I think works really well #Isaac's awkwardness and hesitancy to move things forward is SO relatable to my experience as a baby lesbian and I find it really endearing #Flower/Thorfinn- I'm not super into them I'm sorry 😭 I don't hate it but I also don't really feel the chemistry #although maybe this week's episode will change my mind!!#Pete/Alberta- oughh I didn't realize how much I loved their dynamic until I thought about it more #their opposites attract kind of thing is really cute‚ with Alberta helping Pete step out of his comfort zone #and alberta knowing she deserves someone a bit more stable who will treat her better than she was in life (she already knew this but still)#it's a shame bc they're probably the couple with the least chance of getting together 😭#Sasappis/Shiki- unfortunately there's not much they can really do :') however sass' shiki tree was adorable. what a dork #Sass/Jessica- cute while they lasted!! they weren't able to spend a ton of time on their relationship but it brought out a different side #of Sass that was fun to watch #Hetty/Trevor- absolutely hilarious. I never knew I needed it. I don't ship them in a capital r Romantic way but their chemistry is great #I'd rather see it stay just a fling tbh. also when the other ghosts find out it's going to be SO juicy I can't wait #last one- I really don't want to see the entire house coupled off. The ships are fun but also the friendships between the ghosts and how #they function as a group is the real heart of the show for me I don't want that to get lost. I don't think it's impossible to balance both #so it's ultimately just a personal preference 🤷‍♀️#wow I didn't realize i had so much to say about this aksjsk #anyway. my prediction for this poll is a close race between isaac/nigel and h-money #cbs ghosts

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mrfoox · 1 year

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I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all

#miranda talking shit #At one hand i liked the conversation i had with fabian and i think i got some answers to questions ive been wondering about but im also lik #Unpacking all this.... So much to unpacking and to be put in a folder in my head where does it all go... Still hate how #He hit me with the biggest ... Maybe in the universe and i can't deal with it. No I'd be relieved and accept an no fullstop but he had to #Add in the.... Idk actually lol i dont have a reference and i would like to know how it is crossing boundaries in our relationship #Whag the fuck man.... You really gave me the strongest 'i think youre into me and it worries me' and then nullify it with an 'idk how i #Feel sometimes id like to explore more' how am i supposed to... Handle that information... I had been going around telling myself #What he said to me 2019 is the way he still feels and me thinking he might think more is just me being paranoid but then yeah #What a clusterfuck. I mean to me it wont change anything in the broader picture no matter what i care for him ya know? But now thats... An #Whole other thing like. Should i try to act differently? Be more careful? Or would that be unfair bc then id do what he've been doing to me #I will quote him again 'miranda i think if both of us got an gf/bf at the same time this would solve itself' i joked and said he could find #Me one and I'll find one for him. But yeah i think that would ... Be a solution in an ideal world. Idk how to do anything man #At one hand i think he's overestimating how much he's on my mind but also its true. I spend a lot of my social time with him so obviously #I think about him? But i also have a reference on how i am... With people i have crushes on and who im in love with and how o think of thoe #Its just so scary to think about how i am his reference ... To... Well basically a ton of things... Im not a good reference unless you want #An abnormal reference. I guess im anxious I'll somehow ... Ruin him or something. This was a big conformation that i am his reference to #Women and close relationships with women and i am not made for that... Most feminine tjing about me is being sappy and giving compliments #And encouragement. Otherwise im basically like ... A dude. Guess it also scares me that he knows me. I know i know him but the fact its #Mutual is aw man... Being known is still a struggle. He wasmt completely wrong is his logic bc he knows me i think too much about people #And things. I understand im so anxious bc i care about him and im worried about losing him or pushinh him away but shit #Hes sleeping rn and is at peace with this probably. He doesn't dwell on it. He even said hes been thinking about this... Bc he began to #Think about what i could be thinking? So its not even his own thoughts but thoughts about whaf i could be thinking? ?? Whack and im likebro #Flattering that you go to that length but also... Literally what??? Cant tell if hes somehow projecting or if this is genuinely how he was #Thinking but damn. Boy does have some confidence at least? He's such an fool. I love him but holy shit he blows me away sometimes

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kaijutegu · 5 months

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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

youtube

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

#reptiblr #alligator #crocodile #Youtube

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popcornucopia · 2 months

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Not gonna lie if you say you have a big following on tik tok or twitter or insta im not gonna care, like those don’t matter to me. Its not impressive anymore, it used to be for sure but now social media is the only place to go, its not impressive if everyone's at the playground.

#I feel like having a big following on tumblr or youtube are still impressive #mostly bc on tumblr and youtube it really does tend to be a real person #whereas I feel the others it could be a corporate account #also I feel like tik tok is a lot of e begging and I'm not into that #not saying there's not e begging on this site or others but it's different on tik tok I feel #its like begging and being mean that people aren't giving you how much you want #or being intentionally over the top and getting people to think that you hate the shit people are doing while your live #so you act out and people spend more money to 'annoy' you with the filters like roses or sunglasses but really you're getting them to spend #their money it's weird #youtube you know it's a real person even ig the videos are fake #also I won't lie I love YouTuber drama #it's so fun I love drama as long as I'm not effected

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be-good-to-bugs · 7 months

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never again would i like to work on Halloween

#the bin #halloween is for spending alone or for getting absolutely wrecked and being qround a bunch of people #NOT for spending at work doing work being at work stamding at work walking around all day at work doing work at work #but hey. at least it was a very slow tuesday bc everyone was busy with halloween. so ill only have 1 tuesday left #looking forward to starting my new job. i actually kinda really enjoy customer service. i love interacting with people for short time #ofc people can be mean and bad but i can deal with that just fine. i get so much out of short nice interactions and those are discouraged #where i work now. i try to be nice and have friendly interactions as much as i can because its nice but overall my experience is just around #people but not interacting with them otehr than to ask them to please move. when i do interact with people im so nice and helpful and i like #doing it but its kinda bleh. idk. i know im prob gonna hate this job a lot of the time too but id like something different.#and honestly i think itll be good for me. my social anxiety and ability to interact with people is so much better than it was before #and like. it happened so shortly after starting this job. i had to do things so i did and now i know its ok. i have a better understanding #of how people behave and react to how i am and all that stuff. and i think itd be nice to be in an environment where i can be kinda jokey #im a silly person but i think ive cracked maybe 2 jokes total while working at this place for almost 6 months #i make like 12 jokes a day at least when i interact with other people. when i talk or tjink about stuff i just make jokes constantly #but i.dont feel like i can do that at this job. the people are nice but its just a different environment and my type of humor and #personality doesnt mesh well if im joking. i work well there but its kinda bleh for me #but my managers were very nice about my giving my 2 weeks so. and perfect timing because tomorrow im training someone #new to start the same job as me to help out. woulve been doing it anyway and theyd be tehre to fill in when im out suck but instead i #think theyll just replace me so it works out. and i like teaching peope how to do my job :>#me rambling abt my life. nobody cares to read this lol. its not matter. these posts are boring but it feels nice to post stuff like it #makes me feel less isolated even of nobody sees it. different from thping it into a private notes app #idk. i need to talk to people more

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thecherrygod · 1 year

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#my posts #well hi hello you sorta know the drill!! making this so that if you read more its bc you clicked and its not my fault <3 #i am just probably being dramatic or overreacting or like. just not mentally alright lmao but whats new. the sun burns and water #makes thigns wet. anyways yeah i just saw a post that was like 'you spend all your childhood wanting to be an adult and once you-#-become one you regret wanting it' or something like that right?#and im sitting here like you guys wanted to become adults thats so wild to me. actually the post also said that its stronger when youre 17 #like. the only times i wanted to be an adult was when i was very small and got told 'youll get it when youre older' but other than that #i never wanted to stop being a kid and the more i grew up the more i sorta. hated it #being a teen was a nightmare and actually being 17/18 was so bad i was dreading it and you all desired it????#it probably has to do with the fact i spent all years since i was 12 going 'whatever ill kms before im 18. worst case scenario before im20'#but yeah no i cant believe people actually wanted to become adults. its. idk. i know im the odd one here which kinda makes it worst #so like. idk lmao it just hurts knowing people experienced things so different than i did. way better than i did #and that no matter what i cant really change that. i could try to live my best life since i stopped believing kms is a valid future plan #i still feel like theres.. something stopping me. like i am stuck as the kid that never wanted to grow up #and was never ready to deal with anything thats adult life. i guess. i just always feel very innadecuate?#like i shouldnt be living this life. like maybe there is something out there for me but t his isnt it really. but like.#i also dont think theres anything for me at the same time. like genuinely i wasnt meant to ever get older than a teen #..................... im. gonna get back to post anything else but i just wanted to get this out of me bc its. a lot lmao #man i need therapy

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camptw1nk · 1 year

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I am going to sleep but kurts heavy on the brain

#the duality of him and the performance art in his daily life and the shock so many people feel #when the smiling preppy asshole they all love to hate is unveiled as a highly emotional and severely abused kid who's scared all the time #some people knew Something was up w him even if they didn't know what but a Lot of people were clueless #or didnt want to know #and i imagine for them it was. a lot to take in #even nightwing and the televised breakdowns would've been a lot but then his moms attack being broadcast #and the easily accessible footage of it happening just. is so much more intense #especially since after that he spends so long in hospital recovering with his parents out of the picture #and if they didnt visit him in hospital then they miss months of development of who he really is #and he comes out a different person (yet again) and no one knows what to say #anyway bed time i have class in 9 hours

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mysicklove · 8 months

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𝐅𝐈𝐗 𝐌𝐄

DAY 2: SUB SPACE + MOMMY KINK

With: Satoru Gojo

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Sub! Gojo, Fem? reader (no pronouns just use of names: mommy and mama), unreleastic portrayal of sub space, mentions of BDSM (rough treatment, degradation,whips, mistress/master use), safeword use (at the end), lots of cooing, Gojo unable to think properly, praise, comfort, clingy/needy Gojo

A/N: this was actually really fun to write! i did a little research on what subspace feels like, and it says it varies from person to person, but it is a sort of euphoric experience. sooo idk! lol. also, a lot of ppl r here for gojos personality, and I feel bad bc he is not like his usual self in this bc of his headspace...dont hate me gojo simps

Gojo Satoru is kinky. Plain and simple. He has tried many different things throughout his lifetime, and he is now confident enough in many different types of sexual play. He spends way too much time on the internet buying all sorts of toys, cuffs, ropes, whips, just to build his secret obsession. He has been with many people, and has always pulled them down to the dark side with him.

But through it all, he has never found a partner to really push him to his limits. They all get too scared to hurt him, and call their safeword too early. They get uncomfortable when he sobs for mercy, or in other situations, begs for more pain. Gojo doesn't want to be just treated harshly, he wants to be broken. His standards are higher than most.

And finally his dreams came true when he met you. You've been into BDSM for years now, and even if the two of you are dating, you have a strict contract of rules you must obey for eachothers safety. It was cute, he was practically trembling in excitement when he saw the agreement, signing his hame sloppily, and waiting for your next move.

It was strange seeing someone so cheery and upbeat turn into a different breed during a scene. He was long passed the brat now, every defining thought fucked out of him. He's been slapped around, beaten, scolded, forced to orgasm, and humiliated in the past two hours. He has never had anyone treat him this rough.

A huge part of him loved it, and a small part of him twinged in fear whenever he heard you begin to move again. It sent a multitude of thoughts to his brain, What now? Are you going to hurt him? Was he being good now? Another punishment?

His blue eyes follow your every movement, and he flinches when you bring your hand up to his face, expecting another slap. You chuckle at the movement, gently petting his face. It takes him a second to realize what is happening, but from there, he melts into your hold. He presses himself deeper into your hand, eyes heavy from exhaustion.

Satoru accomplished his goal though. He was, for the first time ever, wrecked. His hair is matted against his head, damp from sweat. His body is covered in hickeys, bitemarks, bruises, scratches, and marks from the flogger. He was trembling, muscles contracting every couple of seconds without permission. Drools coats his lips, and it starts to drip down his mouth and onto his chin. His eyes seem to be in a different world, cloudy, and half lidded. His cock lays spent against his thigh, flushed red, and leaking just the last of his cum.

But even through it all, he's smiling at you. It’s a fucked out sort of grin, lazy, but content. His cheek is pressed against your palm, and he's nuzzling into it, basking in the softness of your touch, contrasting your earlier actions. “There ya go. You doing all right, Satoru?”

He blinks at you, slow, and thoughtless. “Yeah.”

You climb onto the bed next to him, brushing his hair back affectionately, and a little worriedly. He looked rather beat, and his exhausted eyes made you want to end the session now. “Alright, lets clean you up, and get you to bed,” You soothe, hands rubbing at his thighs, hoping your touch brings him comfort.

Immediately he pulls away, a small pout on his face. “Noooooo,” He uncharacteristically whines, grabbing at your hand. “Wanna…Wanna go some more. I'm doing good, right Mommy? No more punishments,” He pleads, tears coating his eyes. “Reward. Wanna reward, pleaseeee.”

Mommy wasn't todays title. You were called mistress, and master today solely. His words made your eyes widen, and you instantaneously knew he was deep into the subspace. You've seen glimpses of it, the way he becomes uncharacteristically obedient and he gets slightly giggly, probably from the light headed feeling, but he looked deep into his now. His words dragged out, and his body was obviously spent, but still he craved your approval; he wanted nothing more than to please you now.

Affection, love and care is what he needs right now and you were happy to provide him with it. So, you straddle his lap, and place kisses on every surface you can touch. His body is warm, and he goes slack against your hold, mouth falling open. “Do you want to cum again, ‘toru? Or just attention?”

He goes silent for awhile, his mind hazy, and not liking the idea of making his own choice. He wanted you to take care of him completely, to let his mind slip away, and for you to control his ever thought, movement. “Please,” He mumbles, face scrunching up with frustration.

You are quick to apologize, recognizing his situation almost instantly. “Alright, alright. I'll take care of you. Lets cum one more time, can you do that for me, pretty boy?”

Pretty boy. A nickname unlike the harsh ones he received earlier: brat, slut, dog, whore. In the moment it only increased to turn him on, but now, he wanted to be good. The thought of you calling him those names made him want to tear up, and sob into your arms. He didn't want you to be mean anymore, he wants you to love him. To praise him on anything and everything.

He jumps when he feels your hand drift back to his cock. It aches from all the abuse from earlier, and he lets out a shaky whimper, not liking the pain as much as he once did. “H-Hurts,” He yelps, wishing for you to make it better. To fix it all, why did everything ache so badly? He wants comfort, and as quickly as possible.

You kiss at his tears and pull his face into your neck. “‘m sorry. Was Mommy too rough with you today? Shhh, it’ll feel better in a bit, just relax,” You encourage, beginning to slide your hand up and down his length. He twitches and mewls from beneath you, fighting the feeling of overstimulation and pleasure. He wants this, he wants this, he wants this so badly, but he wishes it wasn't so uncomfortable.

He shakes his head into your neck, “Wasn't too rough. I'm fine, Mama j-just make me feel better, please,” he whispers, voice hoarse, and soft. One of your hands pet his hair, while the other strokes him off, shushing his cries, and reassuring that he will feel better soon.

You were right of course, the pain of overstimulation died off, and Gojo felt like he was melting. Everything is so warm, so light, he feels like he was on cloud nine. He feels loved, and every loose thought was traced back to you. “Love you s-so much.”

You grin at him, pressing your lips to his. His lips are chapped from his excessive panting, but you don't mind, licking at the plush flesh. He whimpers and groans, his hands pawing at you to pull you impossibly closer. When you pull back, he follows you, letting out a small huff in complaint. You pepper his face with kisses in apology. “Love you too. Such a good boy, Satoru, I'm so lucky to have such a pretty boy.”

He withers under the praise, nodding his head dumbly. He wants to coax so more out of you, but he can't think of ways, so he just rest his head on your chest, and chants, “Mommy” on repeat.

Your hand is slow in pace, careful to not overwhelm him. It slides up and down easily, his previous cum acting as lube. His cock is bright red, and you almost feel bad for it after pulling so many orgasms from it earlier. You are suprised he is still even awake, sure, he looks and acts exhausted, but by this long he is usually passed out. He must be awake only because he is searching for praise and comfort from earlier. To not find himself in a sub drop.

You catch his eye, and a wobbly smile pulls at his face. You chuckle at him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Whaddya want from me?” He asks, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.

“Hmm?”

He taps his forehead against yours, hazy blue eyes staring into yours. “Wanna command. Wanna be useful for you.”

You smile warmly at him and he shivers, leaning up to kiss you again. You hand rubs over his small slit, and he gasps, pausing just centimeteres before you face, and moaning out.

“You are deep in this, aren't you sweet boy?” You murmur, mostly to your self, slightly astonished. It was one thing for him to ask for praise, and to make decisions for him, but actively seeking instructions from you was another. It was fascinating, and adorable to say the least, how desperately he craved approval, or wanted to feel needed, useful. Nothing how Gojo usually was like.

You thumb at his tip, and he heaves, trying to keep up with your words. But everything you say other than “sweet boy,” seems to tuned out. Everything feels blurry, expect for you face, and your sickenly sweet tone. “D-Don't understand. Please!”

“Okay, shhh, it's alright. I want you to cum for me. Can you cum for Mommy, Satoru? That's all I want you to do.” An easy command, one he can definitely fulfill. He can do that – he can definitely cum for you. Gojo feels his chest bloom with butterflies at the idea of what you'll say to him once he follows your wishes. How much praise he will receive. How good and useful he is being. It makes him shiver with excitement.

Your hand picks up speed when he nods, and he gasps, gripping onto your arms from the suddenness. His hips buck upward into the makeshift hole, and you coo at him, telling him to relax his hips. He abides without question, melting into the sheets, and you give him a kiss for a reward.

He feels himself begin to teeter along his high, and he glances up at you, eyes wide and slightly panicked. He needs to ask for approval, he has to ask to cum, the rules were basically engrained in him, but everything is spinning, and he's beginning to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the pressure. He feels his voice go dry, and tears begin to pool in his eyes at the prospect of disappointing you.

You take notice of his fearful face immediately, quickly leaning over to cup his face. “You can cum. Relax, hey, its alright, I want you to cum.”

He breathes a shaky sign of relief, and you wipe his tears away, thinking back to earlier of how you wiped his tears away from the ruthless pleasure/pain mix, and now simply because he was afraid that he wasn't able to ask permission before cumming. You would be lying if the power didnt get to your head.

You thoughts are cut off when Gojos entire body jerks, and a muffled, “Fuck!” is let out. His orgasm hits him like a truck, and he trembles, riding the waves. His voice is too scratchy to let out any real noise, so he just silently cries into your chest. Cum dribbles down his cock pathetically, obviously spent, and not having much left to give. You don't seem to notice it though, instead focusing on your lover, and trying to make his orgasm as pleasurable as possible.

When he comes down from it, his legs are shaking, and his eyes are hooded with exhaustion. “P-Plea–Coconut,” He weakly gets out, and you hands fly off his body in seconds from hearing the safety word. You pull away, hoping to not overwhelm him, but instead he clings to you. “Don’t go. Don’t go. Mommy, I can't. J-Just–I…Praise!” He splutters, coherent thoughts flying out of his head, as he slumps into the bed.

You nod, staying away from his cock, and instead placing his head into your lap. His body curls around you in seconds, still slightly trembling. “Did so well. Good boy Satoru. My good boy, I am so spoiled. So lucky to have you." You coo, reaching your hand up to run it through his matted hair. "Took everything so well. I'm so proud of you." A small smile pulls at his face, and everything feels so warm "I love you so much, you know that?”

“Hm,” He hums, nodding his head slightly.

You smile at him. “My perfect boy. It's time to go to sleep, I'll take care of everything. Just rest for me, that's all I need you to do.”

But he didn't even hear the last of your statements, already passed out onto you, his chest rising and falling from his heavy breathes.

You sigh, and stare affectionately at the man. His naked body littered in marks, and he still managed to sleep contently with them. His body was drained of everything. Just like he asked you to do so hours prior.

Your hands roam the nightstand, grabbing healing cream, bandages, and a wash cloth. And with one last sigh, you place Gojo's head onto the pillow, and begin the long process of cleaning him up.

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