#a look of REALISATION perhaps
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the way the Doctor stopped himself when he got angry with Donna, walked away, put his hands up looking guilty af and apologised? Lives rent free in my head
#ten would have finished the ‘you spilled the coffee’ line and the argument more than likely would have escalated#at least that’s what I think#but look at this mature boi realising what he was saying was perhaps a little too mean#stepping away and apologising#AND THEN HE COMFORTS HER SECONDS LATER#david tennant#tenth doctor#doctor who#donna noble#fourteenth doctor#fourteen x donna
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NEW BATFAM FANART??? FROM ME??? It's a crazy, crazy world. Anyways, WIP of some post-patrol "friendly competition".
#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#redhood#robin#dc#ITS BEEN SO LONG#didnt realise how much i missed drawing tim n jason 😭#DO NOT REBLOG AS JAYTIM#if i see that on ur account... ur done#i will block u#anyways#look at them#perhaps i will properly colour this in the future idk#BUT I LIIIVE#they look so washed out 😭 didnt realise my computer brightness was so low#u win some u lose some#thefridge
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I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes
#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd unknown#dbd the unknown#pls pls pls you can trust me to be normal about that i am completely normal about that i am so normal about these themes#and their direct opposite i am normal and can be trusted with anything that's either like Th//e La//st Uni//corn or its direct opposite#like no. no i have to remember that bhvr have no idea what they're doing. i must not get sucked in. i must remember better games... unless#like no you have no idea what id give for this to be intended like aaaaugh i am unimaginably insane about the inhuman desperately#trying to be human in any way it can and the world continually rejecting those efforts#just like i am incredibly abnormal about humanity as a horror for the inhuman and the active rejection of humanity by something#that is; despite its best efforts and thw verdict of its biology; human. haha humanity as a horror you are forced to be and#perhaps always were but never had the chance to realise it. anyway. i digressed.#also the actual reason why Oh Gross (aka The Unknown) looks like that is because the lore states that some people thought#it was just a typical serial killer and gross is just a cumulation of everything everyone has ever thought about it#(god thats depressing)#so yeah. sorry no themes of humanity here i think. though id kill for them.
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"You still deserve to eat. You still deserve to laugh."
me before watching trigun: "oh people really like the priest guy, i guess."
me after watching trigun 5 times and showing my brothers a wip of this to which one said "oh. the priest guy your favourite character, huh": ATTACKED ATTACKED ATTACKED
(the characters are really strong and well written, okay. i just really like how they all interact with each other o k a y.)
#livio the double fang#trigun maximum#trimax#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#i'm just really really normal about the ending#i watched 98 twice and realised livio isn't in it at all at all#ghost wolfwood makes me insaaaaaane#trigun spoilers#perhaps#the orphange looks like the corpse of a sand worm. to me.#sometimes. using yourself as reference for characters that you love can be something so special#abrielart#fanart#trigun#stampede orphanage design goes really hard
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Tamarack lovers how long did it take you to realise your friends in elementary school didnt actually like you, you were just autistic and misunderstood their insults as jokes ?
#Perhaps this one was just me#but i didnt realise for so long i was just inserting myself into peoples lives#its a little silly looking back#our life#our life now and forever#tamarack baumann
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I am going to take a break from milgramblr
[important please read]
ok now how do I start. Im going to take a break from tumblr for about a week. Things have been absolutely awful for me here since the very beginning of 2024, even if it may not look that way at times.
to retell the situation it happened with the new years gartic phone game, where someone made a prompt about a ship that made me heavily uncomfortable. To put it loosely it reminded me of an extremely bad experience with a fandom a few years ago when I called out a ship for being creepy and having a huge age gap but I was constantly dogpiled and harassed. It was probably the worst experience I’ve had on the internet and to this day I get really scared of people hating on me and I apologise for everything likely stemming back from the situation.
I tried to persist with the game but I got really upset and left. I expressed on my blog how uncomfortable I felt about the whole situation. Then this one person, who’s a prominent figure in the Milgramblr community, I won’t name them but I think you’ll know who, replied on my post saying that “it’s ok because…” in such an awful tone. It’s hard to explain but basically it felt really bad as they completely dismissed my feelings about the situation just to justify their creepy ship. And even worse, they way they responded was EXACTLY the same way that everyone else responded back in to at old fandom. At the point to I’d much prefer hate and harassment over that false positive attitude.
I freaked out and immediately blocked them and basically went into a panic attack. I was freaking out on my blog and just to make things worse I saw a post praising them and things got so bad. It was the start of the new year and I was on holiday and was supposed to do a bunch of things but because of that situation I was bedridden and couldn’t stop crying. I had so many nightmares about everyone here turning on me and the original incident and I still have them.
the way the person reacted to my situation was absolutely awful. After my breakdown they immediately went to their blog and started posting about how the ships good and you should praise it completely disregarding everything that happened. I’ve always been uncomfortable with them but this pushed me over the edge. And later on I got in contact with someone who was (presumably) trying to help me and we decided to see if that person could make an apology. But they took way to long to even think they gave any attention to the situation and the apology itself didn’t feel that genuine.
This person was still posting about it and didn’t change their pfp and title despite how bad it was to me and they did not do anything at all. Again I’m not naming anyone but I highly recommend you do not support them anymore. I said I’m going to be leaving for a while but if you want clarification on who it is you can just ask, I’ll check my stuff tomorrow morning before I completely shut off for the week.
I don’t know who it was but there was even a throwaway account hating on me and saying awful things. I didn’t care that much as things had already gotten so bad for me that I didn’t care about the opinion of an anon. But like I said, the sickly positive response that person gave was way worse than actual hate.
and that’s only one part of the story. Another thing happened much more recently with the person I mentioned who was trying to help me. They were the first person I followed on Milgramblr and the person who inspired me to join and make all these theories, so with this and them helping me I really looked up to them. It was a few days ago I think but they posted something on their account about that person and wanting attention to them. I expressed my uncomfortable feelings about the situation and they didn’t do anything about it. Instead they decided to KEEP POSTING about it, like constantly and me getting more upset at the situation and how they responded made it clear that they didn’t care at all. I blocked them and we were mutuals for a while.
It’s been a month and I’m still suffering very badly. I’m not constantly crying as I was when it first happened but it still pains me. I’ve been feeling incredibly distressed on this sight knowing that the original person hasn’t done anything about it and they’re still very close. No matter how much I block them or blog tags I still see them in reblogs or bought up. I had to exclude anything relating to the earbuds collab from my milgram archives as it gives me back really bad memories to the pfps involved. I just can’t feel safe in this place anymore and especially that no matter how I feel, nothing has changed since when it happened and no one’s even actually trying to help me or change things.
I’ve just been feeling so bad that I’ve been going days without eating. Just because I can’t be bothered to get out of bed. The only solace for me is sleep but even that’s not good enough as I might have nightmares and I often feel much more tired afterwards. Things are changing for me as I actually have to get up and do something now and it’s surprisingly going kinda well, but that has nothing to do with this situation.
just to note I will be continuing my milgram archives series, I’ve scheduled quite a few posts for this week so they’ll keep going. For me I’ll completely cut off all activity for this week, and may return on Wednesday.
it’s just. I hate how nothings changed. I want something to happen but no one’s helping
#I don’t know how many people will see this#i don’t even know if people will care about this#perhaps I just come back and everything’s the fucking same#I’ve been considering leaving the fandom because of this and I guess this would be to see what’s it’s like#If it’s better to stay or to leave#I’ve blocked so many people from this situation it’s hard to believe#people I thought I could trust…#To say it once again#If you know the person I’m referring to please unfollow them and don’t support them#I can tell you if you ask for a while#And just seeing all the praise the fandom got with people saying the fandom is such a nice and wholesome space is sickening#It was right after what happened and it’s just awful seeing people say that like they don’t care about what happened#They even started a minecraft server which I wanted to join#But avoided like the plague when I realised it was the person who started the original prompt#There was also a thing that happened recently where someone drew all their mutuals as cats#I ended up seeing that person in one of the cats and knowing that they followed them I instantly unfollowed#The cat pfps just make me so uncomfortable as it constantly reminds of the situation#It sounds stupid because it is but I’m at the point where any little reminder can set me off#But it’s not as bad as the collab pfps which I just can’t look at anymore#Although it’s only with a few characters that really make me feel that the art style in general just gives bad memories#To what I said earlier I don’t know anything about the person the originally made the prompts stand on this#I don’t know if they’re purposely ignoring me I don’t know if they even have no idea this is happening but I’m worried#I’ve also had experiences with a bunch of people I used to follow blocking me#And I’ve talked about it here but no one pays attention
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⸻ ❝ happy birthday , gambler. ❞
#* ✦ 𝐈𝐈𝐈. ❮ ic ❯ ⸻ ❝#* ✦ 𝐕𝐈. ❮ muses ❯ ⸻ ❝ 「 veritas ratio 」#don't imagine him saying this over aventurine in the dreampool#don't imagine him leaning in and brushing aside his hair to plant a soft kiss to his forehead#don't imagine him looking at him so crestfallen as he hopes that perhaps this day might be the one where he wakes up#don't imagine his shoulders falling once he realises that is merely a whimsical dream (heh)#don't imagine him spending the day with him in the water#holding his hand and squeezing as if he might feel it wherever he is#don't imagine him nestling into the crook of the juncture that meets his neck and settling in silence
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pit babe daemons
I'm physically incapable of being in a fandom without making a daemon au. I'm not exactly actively writing this, but I couldn't stop thinking about it so here we are. (also it's always a fun test of my willpower to not give everyone a bird. 2/13 I am a master of restraint.)
(warning for spiders and snakes just in case!)
Babe:
beautiful pit viper (trimeresurus venustus) (I couldn't resist). like most snakes, scary on the outside and a sweetheart underneath. not the most aggressive but strikes fast with a venomous bite. also imagine Babe in his tank top with a snake draped over his neck. exactly.
charlie:
Appenzeller Sennenhund. cheerful, energetic, smart. fearless when it comes to protecting their family. very loyal! of course puppy Charlie has a dog daemon.
Way:
eastern barn owl (Tyto javanica stertens). fiercely territorial, secretive. incredible hunter. intelligent! also in folklore owls are either good (symbol of wisdom) or bad (omen of death and doom to come) which speaks to the dichotomy of Way.
Pete:
spotted-winged fruit bat (Balionycteris maculata). tends to be solitary. not a predator. they don’t echolocate but find food using keen sense of smell and eyesight, and they have an unusual dental formation compared to other fruit bats. (<- I can't explain why that is Pete to me but trust me.) smallest of the megabats but still a megabat which I think reflects the corporate side of things nicely.
Kenta:
cocker spaniel. loyal loyal loyal. easily trained. meant for hunting. good with kids lol. also in HDM servants tended to have dog daemons. LOYAL.
Kim:
siberian weasel (Mustela sibirica). intrepid and intelligent. sociable when it suits. will fight you and likely bite you. look at that little lady and tell me that's not Kim.
North:
dhole (Cuon alpinus). highly sociable and adaptive. noisy (likes to chat) but also uses complex body language. dholes don't engage in dominance displays and aren't super territorial, which I think reflects North's easy-going nature.
Sonic:
blue crested lizard (Calotes mystaceus). colourful! not very dangerous but still has teeth and claws. quick and crafty. I originally thought butterfly for Sonic but he needed something more substantial. also she definitely hitches a ride on North's daemon all the time.
Dean:
tiger shrike (Lanius tigrinus). solitary, shy and predatory. shrikes kill by impaling their prey on the nearest pointy object, which I think mirrors the way Dean went for the hammer well. also not a particularly flashy bird. (but still beautiful in the way all birds are beautiful!!)
Winner:
electric blue tarantula (Chilobrachys natanicharum). opportunistic, defensive, kind of a show-off. will ‘hiss’ when provoked. but not the most dangerous spider around. also I think Winner deserves a little blue in his life.
Alan:
banded linsang (Prionodon linsang) male daemon - low sexual dimorphism in this species so not everyone notices but it’s just something else that pings a little odd about alan. generally solitary and not well-known. a predator still.
Jeff:
veined labyrinth butterfy (Neope pulaha). clever, excellent vision, weak fliers. Jeff is a mystery to most, hence labyrinth. I think Jeff is served well by a daemon that can be easily hidden and/or overlooked.
+ bonus Tony:
giant hawker dragonfly (Tetracanthagyna plagiata). dragonflies are the world’s most efficient predator. but at the end of the day it’s just an insect. as with Jeff, it suits Tony to have a hidden daemon.
#pit babe#fic ideas#not me finishing all my research and then realising I’d forgotten about alan and jeff my bad!!#daemon au is obviously still omegaverse#I don't think daemons have a dynamic as such beyond what their connection to their person is#did I spend 2 hours on this instead of finishing my winnerdean fic? perhaps. don't look at me.#I did give all their daemons names as well but maybe I'll save them for the actual fic
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK WEBBER ✦ AUGUST 27, 1976
margaret atwood; bull song | hozier; unknown/nth | mark webber; the guardian (2010) | hozier; all things end | mark webber; carthrottle (2015) | hozier; no plan | soccer mommy; feel it all the time | hozier; abstract (psychopomp) | mark webber; sky sports (2016) | all images from gettyimages.com or motorsportimages.com
#f1#formula 1#web weave#mark webber#THIS was so so fun and so so last minute#i realised like 2 hours ago “oh no its marks birthday today!!”#and so here is my first ever web weave in honour of it all#his career was so so majestic to look back on#i have at least 20 more photos that didn't make it into this one#perhaps i will queue them someday#claire's edits#please be gentle :0#happy birthday mark <33
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How can u make Odin so cute???? Ur artstyle is amazing
i had no choice i'm afraid
#my cute-meter kinda broke sorry#he just has soft and delicate features#i do realise that all the pics look identical ahaha#only at the first glance though#i can tell i've been looking at them for the whole day#odin#gow odin#odin god of war#god of war ragnarok#god of war#i also noticed a couple of things you know#i'll tell you two#no matter what emotion he is experiencing or how badly he is mentally traumatised he always quirks up the right corner of his lips#or pulls it to the side and slightly up while speaking#so at times it looks as if he is smiling even though he might be feeling things that are opposite to what makes ppl smile#and second: it is very rarely visible but it seems that he squints his right 'eye' sometimes while speaking#well both habits are posessed by the actor who plays him#and are rather noticable#so perhaps it's fair to say that he does that too#also the way he looks up at freya is just#my heart bleeds#two bonkers
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Okay also the wrestling with images and meaning. Conceptually. I think ive come to terms with....... that image is like. A pinup. On the sauciness scale. it ISNT really. objectionable in any reasonable way or particularly.... scandalizing. (I think???) but. certain viewers may. may. pick up on the authorial intent. or perhaps. mood or mode in which it was produced.... just a thought.....
#some shit#all is which to say...... I KNOW. what i did. i POSED EM. i know where i placed a tasteful little hightlight. etc.#ITS JUST. given me more to think about that hdbdndnf then. redraws where i move the hands. which are just to add some. emotional flare#OR. the. violence redraws which are to communicate the. thematical charged... nature.....#or even that one bday megs i drew which... well theres not really much ambiguity on that one at all is there. But i was in a mania so.#NO ONE. is required to do anything with this information. tho perhaps it may be of note#MOSTLY. im just. contemplating and processing the. well process. of a new experience. Its Fun :D#but also i dont think IM. at a place to share or discuss the ROBOT PINUP. i drew with non blog people.#and also i realised cropping it would make it look. MORE... aha...#so. so u know. contemplation. as i try not to rethink my assessment in BOTH directions. even as im typing this.
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people underestimate the degree to which I do NOT know what is going on. E.g. I found out what the Unabomber was YESTERDAY.
#Like. i'd heard the term#Knew it was something American.#A bomber#Probably#And a guy. Perhaps. Perhaps I knew it was a guy.#Anyway I read his Wikipedia page yesterday. My conclusion: Weird guy#I have another stupider opinion but I shan't say it here#I was just. Never curious enough to look it up#Turns out that's information u can 100% live without#Post inspired by seeing someone say “skill issue ”#Realising that i had seen the phrase many times but didn't know its origins.#only sort of knew its meaning#And that I was not going to look it up#Me Fein#Anyway. Remember: don't trust confident charismatic or articulate ppl#None of those things are the same as knowing stuff
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if making ego suits sickening is a crime then put me in jail for one lobotomillion years
#lobotomy corporation#projmoon#nuggets#goodie#morse支部#frankly u all will look at my cracked screen iphone doodles done in an eepy haze and enjoy it#my quest tomorrow is to go to the maul and get a charger for my ipad#because drawing on it induces more effort from me#and ive only just realised perhaps an iphone charger does not feed her well enough#anyways. maid day what are you talking about. I have nun content for you#my art
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tried to explain superhell to my friend today and had to drop a lot of dean and castiel lore and i did come out narrowly avoiding a triple zero call im afraid
#hellers explain to ur normie friends or perhaps a family member how castiel got sent to superhell challenge#try to filter through 12 years of deancas lore for what’s important and realising nothing u say could ever make it make sense#+ s1-3 of additional worldbuilding#also she thought dean was sam so i’ll be needing to take a walk to cool off#if there is one thing abt me u should know it’s that i’m a proud samhater#she said dean looks like a sam and sam looks like a dean 😭😭😭 sad sad day#my post
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Day 1 - New Beginnings
"Another year, another adventure.
...it's good to have a rest between journeys, though~"
#homestuck#jake#jake english#year 4#art#And it looks like I'm back with a new year of dailies~!#I thought about it and I realised I miss creating things but a lax (read:absent) schedule left me just...not really caring to create much#So I decided I'd go one more year of daily creatives and see where it takes me~#Perhaps I'll do more afterwards or perhaps I'll let it rest again. Until then.. here I am again~ ^^
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8 Shows to Get to Know Me
I was tagged by the delightful @the-marron <3 thank you <3
Now everyone, act like these answers are remotely surprising okay? ;)
Doctor Who
2. Merlin
3. In the Flesh
4. Being Human
5. Guardian
6. The Uncanny Counter
7. The Untamed
8. The Devil Judge
Oh god now I want to rewatch them all.
Tagging @dobranocka @miss-ingno @programmedradly if any of you fancy answering? the intense nervousness i get about tagging people is so fun hope it's okay?
#tumblr nonsense#mutterings into the void#look. the day i don't bring up dw is the day you need to worry ive been taken hostage.#and ofc i had to pick the most ridiculous gif possible#did i get halfway through this list and realise oh god my found family love is so fucking glaringly obvious? perhaps#why yes bbc 3 scifi/fantasy dramas that shattered my heart is a genre i am very hung up on thanks for noticing#if a show has never caused me to cry actual tears is it really worth remembering?#i like to be permanently scarred by the media i consume thanks
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