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fortheloveofwonderland · 2 years

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Me & You & Everyone We Know | Chapter 2 | S.R

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A/N - title and lyrics from a song by Bruno Mars.

Chapter Summary - Spencer becomes instantly infatuated with you but his thoughts are put on hold when he has a disobedient daughter and argumentative ex-wife to deal with.

Pairing - Single Dad! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, smut in later chapters.

Content Warnings - mentions of divorce, disobedient teenager, strict dad Spencer, swearing, some suggestive topics, arguing, vague mentions of male masturbation.

Word Count - 5k

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 - Today My Life Begins

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me,

Leave the past behind me, today my life begins.

A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin,

I know I can make it, today my life begins.

Spencer’s day had been consumed by thoughts of you. He managed to pull himself together to teach his classes but you were at the back of his mind all day.

He didn’t think someone had ever been stuck in his mind the way you were. In one brief meeting you’d taken up residence in his brain and were now living there indefinitely.

Thankfully his daughters didn’t notice he was preoccupied.

The next day he drove to work full of anticipation at the prospect of seeing you again.

He was hyper aware of everyone around him, taking second glances around in case he found you in a crowd.

But he knew he’d be able to easily pick you out of any group of people.

It wasn’t until he took a stroll to the coffee cart on campus after his morning class when he finally spotted you.

The sun had poked its way between a thick blanket of clouds and it was warmer than it had been as of late and you were taking advantage of that as you sat on a bench with your head buried in your book.

Your navy overcoat was bundled on the bench next to you and Spencer was glad he’d left his own jacket in his office.

His nerves betrayed him and his hands started to sweat as he crossed the courtyard towards you. And it had nothing to do with the temperature.

He was fascinated by the way you seemed to be lost in your book. You were in your own little world, blocking out everyone around you, lost in a land of the authors creating.

Your brow had a small crease in it and you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth in concentration. Every so often you’d dampen your finger on your tongue before turning the page.

Honestly, Spencer could have watched you all day. He was utterly captivated by you. He stood not six feet in front of you for some time, just observing your micro expressions.

You didn’t look up from the pages but you stunned him when you spoke.

“Are you going to stare at me all day or are you going to join me?”

“I…uh…”

You glanced up at him with that glint in your eye that made his knees weak.

“Sit down, Doctor.” You closed your book and moved your coat aside before patting the bench.

He took a few breaths before moving closer and dropping down next to you.

“I’m sorry if it was weird of me staring like that. I’ve just never seen someone so deep in concentration before.”

“I have a lot of siblings, I had to learn to tune things out.” You shrugged with a smile. “How’s today treating you, Doctor Reid?”

“You can call me Spencer, you know?” He felt himself blushing a little because he really liked it when you called him Doctor. Probably too much. “And shouldn’t I be the one asking you how your day is going? Being new here and all?”

You mused on this a second, running your fingers up and down the spine of your book. Your nails were painted a dark grey shade and were a little chipped on a couple of the digits.

“It’s good. Professor Monroe is nice, I think he could teach me a lot. I’m actually working towards my doctorate in psychology so I’m hoping this will help.”

“I have a doctorate in psychology.” Spencer blurted out, very unjustly.

Your lips tugged up at the corners in amusement.

“It’s not a competition.” You smiled at him.

“I didn’t mean…I just…” Spencer mentally berated himself, forcing himself to take a deep breath. “I can help. If you need it. Not that you need it I’m sure but…I can. If you do.”

What is wrong with me?

He thought he’d long passed the stage of being awkward around pretty women but he supposed it had been a long time since he was single.

He’d never been good with women before he’d gotten married and now he’d been out of the game for thirteen years he was a disaster.

He tapped his foot on the ground trying to focus on that rather than his complete lack of social graces.

“I’ll bear that in mind.” You had a look of amusement on your features as though you knew the effect you were having on him.

Spencer had never felt like this before. He felt so unsure of himself, so utterly out of his comfort zone.

Spencer didn’t let himself stay in situations where he felt so in over his head. He shied away from social situations where he could, never went out of his way to make friends.

But here he was purposefully putting himself a new and scary situation in which he felt so utterly out of control.

“You should.” He nodded, playing with his hands in his lap.

You both fell into silence while Spencer continued to scold himself for being such an incredibly awkward human being.

You watched the side of his face. He had a very nice face, one that you could stare at for hours and not get bored of.

He wore the signs of age in the little creases around his eyes and forehead and he was starting to go a little grey around his hairline.

The dark circles under his eyes told you he’d seen his share of darkness. His obvious discomfort was a sign he wasn’t at ease around women.

“Can I ask you something?” You spoke after a while of silence.

He looked up from where he’d been staring at his foot bouncing up and down.

“Of course.”

“Why did you leave the BAU, if you don’t mind me asking? It seems like it would be such a fascinating place to work.”

Spencer chuckled softly if not slightly wistfully. He still missed the BAU but maybe not as much as he once did. It had been almost seven years since he left the bureau. He still yearned for it every now and again but he wouldn’t trade the time he got to spend with his girls for the world.

“It was. I loved working there and truthfully I never thought I’d leave.” He sighed a little, realising he hadn’t answered your question. “I left not long after my second daughter was born. I missed out on a lot with my first and I didn’t want to make that mistake again. It was hard to leave but I love my girls.”

You smiled at the way he lit up when he mentioned his kids but he noticed something passing by your eyes that didn’t match your smile.

Despite his years of profiling, he couldn’t tell what it was.

“How old are they?” You smiled because you really did want to hear about his kids.

But you couldn’t help but be disappointed because if he had kids, he probably had a wife too. Of course he did. He was beautiful and intelligent, of course he wasn’t single.

“Daisy’s thirteen going on twenty-one. And Lily is seven.” He beamed talking about his daughters, he always did.

“Cute ages.” You subtly scoped his hand.

No wedding ring. But not all men wore them.

“They’re the lights of my life, I swear.” He fawned. “So I left the BAU so I wouldn’t miss out on any more of their lives. And I’m thankful for this place, they let me curate my own hours so I can drop them off and pick them up from school everyday.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. For the love of god, don’t say it Y/N.

But you did.

“Your wife can’t do that?” You hated yourself for asking. It was so obvious what you were really asking.

But if Spencer realised, it didn’t show.

He averted his gaze again and rolled his lip between his teeth.

He hated talking about his ex at the best of times, let alone with you.

“I’m divorced. It’s a whole messy thing.” He spoke quietly. “I really don’t want to waste what precious time I have with you talking about her.”

You tried to hide the large smile that crept to your lips hearing that he was divorced. You shouldn’t be so happy to hear that, but at least it meant you might still stand a chance.

“What would you like to spend your precious time with me talking about, Doctor?” The flirtatiousness was dripping from your words but again if he noticed, it didn’t show.

“I would very much like to talk to you about taking you for dinner.” Spencer startled himself a little with his words. It wasn’t like him to be so bold.

He’d never once thought about dating since his separation despite Luke and Matt’s determination to have him do so. He’d never been inclined to put himself out there again.

So it surprised him to say the least that he’d actually said that out loud.

And what if you said no? How awkward would that be? And surely there was no way you’d actually say yes.

He tried to keep his cool and not start panicking before he’d given you a chance to respond but his brain was already running over the hundreds of bad outcomes to this.

“Well, I would-“ you started but were cut off by the sound of your phone alarm going off from inside your purse.

You quickly shut it off and stuffed it away again.

“Sorry, I have to get to my next class. Monroe can’t stand tardiness.” You pushed yourself up from the bench and slung your coat over your arm, smirking at Spencer playfully.

“You don’t even have time to say a simple yes or no?” He questioned you.

“I’d rather keep you in suspense.” Your eyes sparkled. “I’ll let you stew a bit. It’s more fun that way.”

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh as you winked at him before quickly turning on your heels and sauntering away.

He was mesmerised by the way your hips swung as you walked. You had a confidence about you that Spencer envied slightly. You held your head high and marched with the sort of self-assurance Spencer wished he possessed.

It was also the kind of assertiveness which Spencer found so undeniably attractive.

He kept his eyes on you until you’d disappeared from sight.

He was already hooked on you. And he was sure that couldn’t end well.

***

Spencer thought about nothing but you for the rest of the day again.

Even when he picked Daisy and Lily up from school you were still at the back of his mind.

He cooked dinner and helped the girls with their homework before he settled them in front of the TV while he graded papers in his office.

He put them to bed, read Lily a story she’d heard hundreds of times before but Daisy bypassed a story in lieu of one of her own.

She regaled her dad with a complete play by play of a fight that happened at school between two of the popular girls. She went into great detail about it, talking so fast Spencer could barely keep up.

But he nodded where appropriate and threw in a perfunctory “yeah?” every once in a while.

By the time she finished she was half asleep.

“So it means,” she stifled a yawn as Spencer tucked the sheets up to her chin. “Meredith is looking for a new BFF. And I could be it!”

“That is great sweetheart. I’m really pleased for you.” He kissed her forehead and stood up, backing away to the door.

Once in the corridor he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Teenagers are hard work. Was it too much to ask to keep Lily young and innocent forever?

He was exhausted so he took a shower and crawled into bed. His last thought was of you.

***

He was sipping his coffee at the island in the kitchen, perusing the newspaper while Lily ate a bowl of cereal and hummed to herself like she often did when she ate.

He checked his watch before folding the paper and slipping out of the chair.

“Daisy, if you don’t come down soon you won’t have time for breakfast!” He called upstairs, finishing off his coffee before placing his mug in the sink.

“I had breakfast, daddy!” Lily beamed brightly at him.

“I know you did, pumpkin. You’re such a good girl.” He came close to her and kissed her head before smoothing out the errant locks.

Lily was gifted his unruly curls. If he brushed them they doubled in size. If he left them, he looked like a bad parent for neglecting her.

While she finished eating he stood behind her and pulled the strands back off her face, using one of the hair ties usually around his wrist for such an occasion to tie her hair back into a ponytail.

It was better than nothing. He was a single dad, he tried his best.

Lily finished her cereal and he dumped the bowl in the sink with his mug before checking his watch again.

“Daisy, seriously? What are you doing up there?”

“I’m coming! Jeez dad.” Her voice carried back down stairs.

He lifted Lily from her chair and placed her on the floor and she ran to the door to get her shoes.

There was some clattering upstairs before he heard his eldest daughters unnecessarily loud footsteps on the stairs.

She ran straight past him to the door, clearly hiding something. He froze for a moment when he took her in, his blood turning to fire in his veins.

“Daisy,” he choked. “What are you wearing?”

“It’s called a skirt dad.” She still didn’t look at him while she got her sneakers on.

“Really? A skirt? I would consider that more of a belt. You are not leaving the house dressed like that.”

“Chill out dad. All the girls at my school dress like this.”

“I don’t care how the other girls dress. You are not leaving my house dressed like that.” He was trying to stay calm but he felt anything but.

“How do you expect me to be Meredith’s BFF if I don’t dress like this?” She finally turned to face him and Spencer nearly blew his lid entirely.

Her beautiful face was painted in heavy eyeshadow, mascara, a thick blush and bright lipstick.

She folded her arms over her chest and Spencer had to count to ten in his head before he spoke or he would say something he regretted.

“What is that on your face?” He spoke through grit teeth.

“Make-up.” She huffed.

“Where did you get make-up? You’re thirteen!”

“All the girls are wearing make-up.” She rolled her eyes.

“All of them, except for you.” He clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides. “Did your mother buy you that?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged.

God-fucking-damnit Maeve.

“Go and take that off your face and the next time you come down here you will be wearing something that covers your knees. Do you understand?” He hated being the strict parent. That had always been Maeve’s role.

But since their separation she’s played the part of the “cool mom” while Spencer was left to be the bad guy. He hated it.

“Mom would let me go to school like this.” Daisy huffed again.

“I think you look silly.” Lily giggled.

“Shut up!” Daisy raised her voice.

“Do not talk to your sister like that.” Spencer exhaled. “Go and get changed. Take that stuff off of your face. Now.”

“But dad I-“

“Daisy Diana Reid, I said now!”

“I hate you!” Daisy screamed before storming upstairs.

Spencer closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

There was nothing worse in the whole world than hearing those words out of your child’s mouth.

With his eyes closed he didn’t notice Lily passing closer to him until he felt a set of small arms wrap around his waist.

He opened his eyes and looked down on her. She was smiling up at him.

“I love you daddy.” She beamed, squeezing him tightly.

“I love you too, pumpkin.” He sniffed back his tears.

Being a single parent was hard enough without the added difficulties of a teenager. Daisy was probably going to rebel against his every word until she was eighteen.

And there was no telling what Lily would be like.

He had to cling to moments like this when his youngest daughter was hugging him the way she was and looking at him like he hung the moon.

Please never grow up, he thought as he bowed his head to kiss her.

***

Daisy didn’t say another word to Spencer or Lily as he drove them to school. She was even more angry at the fact he’d checked her back pack and found the make-up and skirt hidden inside.

Did she think he was born yesterday? He would have a serious talk with Maeve about this.

His first class on Wednesdays wasn’t until just before lunch so he spent the morning in his office grading more papers.

At around ten thirty there was a soft knock at his door and he glanced up from his desk, blinking a few times.

“It’s open.” He called, sitting back in his chair and stretching his legs under the desk.

The door creaked open and when you walked inside it put the first smile on his face in hours.

You brandished two coffee cups which you set down before slipping into the free chair on the opposite side of the desk.

It was a large old desk with papers scattered around almost every available surface. In the odd free space between papers you could make out multiple coffee rings.

Behind him was a huge floor to ceiling bookshelf, almost bursting at the seams it held so many books.

There was a large window on the far wall that looked out over the courtyard but the windowsill was also stacked high with books.

His satchel and jacket were hanging on an old, wooden antique coat rack by the door.

“You brought me coffee.” He smiled, gratefully picking it up and taking a sip as you inspected his office.

“I felt bad for leaving you hanging yesterday.” You crossed one leg over the other, running your free hand over the crease in your checkered pants.

“Really? Did you?” He raised a sceptical eyebrow at you.

“No, not especially.” You smirked. “But I noticed you’d been hauled up here all morning and figured you might need a pick me up.”

“You have no idea.” He sighed.

“Everything ok?” You sounded genuinely concerned.

He took another sip of coffee before setting it down and leaning his elbows on the desk.

“I had an…incident with my oldest this morning.”

“Care to talk about it?”

Again Spencer sighed. Normally he would not talk to someone he barely knew about his kids or anything pertaining to his personal life. He liked to keep the two sides of his life separate.

But the look gracing your features told him, for whatever reason, you cared. He didn’t know why you did, but Spencer felt like he could tell you anything.

And more concerningly, he wanted to tell you everything.

“She’s thirteen years old and she comes downstairs this morning in an obscenely short skirt and a face full of make-up like it’s not going to give me a heart attack? And then she got mad when I made her change and now she’s not talking to me.” He had no idea why he was telling you this. You were basically a stranger.

You smiled sympathetically at him around your coffee.

“Ah yes, I’m sure I put my father through hell with the same things. Teenage girls are rebellious. Especially towards our dads.”

“Is it so much to ask that I don’t want her to turn out like her whore mot…” Spencer stopped himself abruptly. He was not going to open that particular can of worms. “I’m just…I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“You’ll figure it out.” You smiled at him. “You’re a genius after all, right?”

“How much exactly do you know about me?” Spencer frowned a little.

“Only what they publish online.” Your eyes danced with mischief.

“It seems very unfair that you know so much about me and I know so little about you.”

“Maybe you can find out more about me over dinner.”

“Seriously?” Spencer perked up, sitting up right.

“Seriously.” You giggled.

“I have the kids this weekend but next weekend they’re with their mother. Does Saturday night sound good?”

“Sounds great.” You mused as you ran your fingers along a silver photo frame on the corner of his desk. It was the only personal touch in his office. “Your kids?”

“Yeah.” He beamed proudly.

“They’re beautiful. The little one looks just like you.”

Spencer chuckled and nodded.

It was true, Lily looked the spitting image of her dad. As well as his unruly mane of curls she had his eyes and his smile. She was also much taller than all the other kids in her class, just like her dad.

Daisy shared her features more with Maeve. Her hair was darker and her eyes were blue not brown. She had a lot of her mothers mannerisms too which sometimes crushed Spencer’s heart in a vice.

“Yeah, she does. Daisy looks more like her mom.”

“So she gets them every other weekend?” You looked back at him.

“Yeah. I’m their full time parent.”

“There’s a story there.” You sipped your coffee.

“There is.” He chuckled lightly. “But not one I want to go into with the beautiful woman I’m trying to flirt with.”

“This is you flirting?” You laughed. “Wow, that’s adorable.”

“I asked you to dinner.” He grumbled. “Cut me some slack. I was married for thirteen years, I’m kind of out of practice.”

“You’re doing better than you think.” You smiled seductively at him and Spencer wanted to take you right over his desk.

He wanted to sweep all the papers off of it, grab you in his arms and slam you back against.

He wanted to tear every single item of clothing off of your body and fuck you right here and now in his campus office.

God he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had sex. How sad was that?

Even just the thought made his cock twitch in his pants and he was glad there was a desk separating you so you wouldn’t be able to tell.

But he was sure you knew anyway. And it was confirmed a moment later when you pushed yourself up and spoke again.

“I’m not sleeping with you before you take me to dinner, Doctor Reid.” You grinned, grabbing up your coffee.

“But after I’ve taken you for dinner, you will?” He smiled, feeling a surge of confidence.

“Depends on how good of a dinner it is.” You left him with one last sultry look before you strutted towards the door.

Spencer chewed on his lip to hold back a moan that wanted to escape. By the time you left his office he was almost completely standing to attention in his pants.

It was a heady feeling. Spencer hadn’t felt this was in such a long time. Maybe he’d never felt this way.

You were something else entirely. You were a magnetic force, drawing him in and sucking the life from him.

He shook his head, his metaphors getting confused in his mind due to the lack of blood pumping in his brain.

He glanced at his watch. He had ten minutes until his first class.

What to do with ten minutes? He thought to himself as his hand had already started working it’s way to the button of his pants.

***

His good mood, as it usually was, was short lived.

Talking to his ex-wife was his least favourite thing to do, but after the situation that morning, he’d had to call her.

And the second he heard her voice down the phone, he was already seething.

“Make-up, Maeve? You brought her make-up?” He raised his voice a little as he paced the length of his home office.

Daisy and Lily were already asleep and he didn’t want to wake them but he couldn’t help his tone.

“She’s thirteen, Spencer.” Maeve kept her voice measured.

“Exactly! She shouldn’t be wearing make-up at thirteen! And don’t get me started on that skirt!”

“I wore make-up when I was thirteen.”

“Yeah and look how well you turned out.” He growled.

“You might not like me Spencer but I am still the mother of your children. Show me some respect!” She huffed.

“You lost the right to my respect a long time ago. I will not let you turn my daughters into sluts.”

“Like me?”

“You said it.” He rolled his eyes. “My job is hard enough without having to police Daisy every time she leaves the house. In future, tell me before you buy her things like that.”

“She’s my daughter too. I have every right to buy her what I want.”

“I swear to god if I find out you’ve brought her any more make-up or inappropriate outfits-“

“You’ll what, Spencer? Have me see them less than I already do? I get to see them for two days every two weeks, is that not punishment enough?”

“You were sleeping with someone else behind my back for three years! You should consider yourself lucky you see them at all! Don’t test me Maeve, I am not messing around.” He was livid, his blood boiling on his veins.

“If you try to revoke custody from me I’m sure the courts would love to hear about how their father gets blind drunk every time they aren’t home. You think I can’t smell it on you? You think the girls can’t smell it on you?” Maeve yelled down the phone.

Spencer gripped the edge of his desk so hard his knuckles turned white.

“I have four days a month off. I have four days a month when I’m not cooking and cleaning and helping with homework. Four days a month when I can just be me and allow myself to feel the weight of the fact my wife cheated on me. Four fucking days a month when I’m not Doctor Reid or daddy. Don’t you dare try and get high and mighty with me you bitch!” He was angrier than he’d ever been, even angrier than when he’d found out she was cheating on him in the first place.

Before Maeve could respond, Spencer pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call before he could say anymore.

How dare she threaten him. He had every right to let loose on his scarce days when he wasn’t looking after their children.

He did everything for Daisy and Lily, his life revolved around his two princesses. Who was Maeve to judge how he spent his few days apart from them?

He could feel his anger rising, about to spill over at any moment. He was gripping the desk so hard he was sure it would snap beneath his grasp.

No one in the world had the power to anger him the way his ex-wife did.

He was about to reach breaking point, seconds away from snapping when his phone started to ring again.

I swear to god if that’s her I will… his thought trailed off when he saw a number he didn’t recognise on the screen.

Frowning a little and trying to keep his anger at bay, he answered it and put the device to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi. I hope you don’t mind but I got your number from Monroe.”

He could hear the mild hint of embarrassment in your voice. And in an instant, Spencer felt his anger melting away.

“You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice right now.” He exhaled, letting up his hold on the desk.

“Bad night?”

“Just…my ex-wife.” He grit his teeth. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough.” You had a smile in your voice.

“So, why did you ask Monroe for my number?” Spencer felt himself smile too. He rounded his desk and fell into the chair.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Was it weird of me?”

“I mean, you could have just asked me.” Spencer chuckled.

“True.” You agreed. “Jumping through hoops is kind of fun though.”

“Oh really? You like the chase, huh?” Spencer leant back in his chair as he felt his cock throb just from your voice.

“You asked me out, I didn’t think I needed to chase.” You sounded amused.

“I could always rescind my offer if it’s more fun for you. I don’t think a woman has ever chased me before. I kind of like the sound of it.” He smirked, hand moving to palm himself through his slacks.

“I find that very hard to believe. I would have thought Doctor Spencer Reid would have women lining up at his door.”

“Oh yeah, a divorced dad of two really gets the women hot under the collar.” He chuckled lightly.

“It does the job for me.” You confessed and Spencer couldn’t help the growl that left his lips.

“Woman, you have no idea what you do to me.” He admitted, pressing the palm of his hand against his erection.

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea, Doctor.” You whispered the last word and as expected, Spencer moaned slightly down the phone.

“This is very unfair.” He swallowed. “My girls are asleep down the hall and you’re getting me all riled up.”

“My roommates are asleep down the hall and you’re getting me riled up.” Your voice was slightly breathy.

“I should…go.” He forced himself to say although he didn’t want to.

“Sleep well, Doctor. Try not to dream of me.” You whispered and then the line went dead.

He dropped to the phone on the desk and hissed as he pressed harder against his cock.

And for the second time that day, Spencer relieved himself from his pants and stroked himself while he thought of you.

You were going to be the death of him.

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#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #me and you and everyone we know #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds

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pennywaltzy · 1 year

Text

Desert Race (1/?)

So this is a WIP I started...oh, fifteen years ago? But I ran across it and I definitely want to finish it (maybe for the 2024 round of WIPBB). It's a CSI/CSI: NY crossover with an eventual Nick/Lindsay ship. Enjoy!

Desert Race - It's on between the Vegas labs and the NYPD teams in the Law Enforcement Desert Relay, but unexpected sparks fly between Nick and Lindsay that puts a kink in both Sara and Danny's plans for winning the event.

READ CHAPTER 1

"Don't look at me." Catherine shook her head. "Last time I tried to do it, Grissom found a dead body. I don't want to risk it."

"Come on, Cath," Warrick said, smirking at her. "I heard that the LAPD team isn't holding grudges." In response, she balled up a piece of paper and threw it at him.

"Seriously, though," Sara said. "Someone from the lab has to do it."

"I would, but running and I just don't get along," Greg said. "Surfing would be one thing, but..."

"I already volunteered to be the driver of the poll vehicle," Nick said. "So I'm out."

Sara turned on Warrick, but he shook his head. "Just out of curiosity, is there any reason you want to win but don't want to have to run?" he asked.

"I just...I want to win."

"Then why don't you run?"

"Because if I do I can guarantee we'll lose."

"I don't know," Nick said. "I've seen you out jogging before. We may not place high, but I can assure you if you run we wouldn't lose."

"Besides, this year the only team we really have to worry about is the NYPD team," Catherine said. Everyone looked at her. "What? Just because I'm not participating doesn't mean I don't keep up with the competition."

"Why would we have to worry about them?" Sara asked.

"They've got some really fit runners. Must be all those chases through Manhattan," Catherine said. She turned to the laptop Greg was using in the break room. "Mind if I borrow that for a minute?"

"You break it, you buy me a new one," he said before moving out of the way.

Catherine sat down, tapped in a few keys and a website came up. She scrolled down a bit and stopped. "Okay, some of the teams who have already registered have a list of their participants and poll drivers. I went up against most of these guys, and they're good."

"Any of them you don't know?" Nick asked.

Catherine read through the list. "Just two, from the NYPD team. One's the poll driver, Detective Lindsay Monroe. The other's one of the runners... Detective Daniel Messer."

Nick's head snapped up. "Danny's running?" Everyone's eyes turned towards him. "What?"

"You know him?" Catherine asked. Then she shook her head. "Course you do. He's listed as Daniel, you called him Danny..."

"Knew him back in the college ball days. Didn't know he was a cop." He got off the table he'd been sitting on and walked over to the laptop, looking at the screen. He saw Danny's picture and grinned. "Yep, same guy."

"How well did you know him?" Greg asked.

"He and I tried out for the same minor league team. He got hurt so he dropped, but we hung out a bit. He wasn't a bad guy. A little cocky, but not bad." He shook his head, grinning. "A cop. Never would have seen that one coming."

Sara thought for a moment. "I think I feel my competitive edge coming on... Nick, if you'd help me train, I think I might just do this."

"You're on."

"Then I guess we have a complete team," Catherine said. "Good. I really didn't want to have to run this year..."

---

Danny tossed the baseball up in the air and caught it on the way back down. "Relax, Montana. It's not like we're going to Vegas to get married or something." He heard her choke on her coffee and he turned to look at her. "Okay, that probably wasn't the best time for me to say that..."

"Danny! Don't joke like that."

"What? Flack was ragging on you about it and you just grinned. I do it and I damn near kill you."

Lindsay just looked at him before shaking her head. "Danny, everyone's going to think that we planned this."

"Not my fault you were a last-minute replacement for Stella. We weren't expecting the case to get dragged out so long." He threw the baseball up again. "Got a surprise call from someone I met years ago when I played ball. He's a CSI in Vegas now." He caught it and looked at Lindsay. "Apparently, the Vegas team is making it their personal mission to beat us."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but I get the feeling he wasn't supposed to be calling me." Danny grinned. "Nick's a pretty nice guy, doing that. Gives me more incentive to train."

"His name's Nick?"

"Yeah. Nick Stokes." He looked at her. "You'd probably like him. He's a real easygoing guy."

"It'd be nice to meet someone easygoing in this whole mess." She got up and looked at the screen he was looking at. "So what are you looking at?"

"Info on Vegas. Trying to figure out places to go to eat and stuff."

"Ah," she replied. "That would be a good thing to know."

"See, Montana? I'm good for some things other than running my mouth off."

She grinned at him. "Messer...just shut up and find places to eat."

"Yes ma'am."

#csi #csi new york #csi ny #csi: ny #fanfic #fanfiction #nick x lindsay #nick stokes #lindsay monroe #catherine willows #warrick brown #greg sanders #sara sidle #danny messer #my stuff

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wainwrightjakobshammerlock · 4 months

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HAIII HOW ABOUUTT ✨️🎯❤️✂️ AND 🧠 forrrr Galileusz, Lazarus and Sir Windward ? :3

Galileusz:

✨️ First name is the Polish spelling of the Italian name Galileo, meaning "Galiliean, from Galiliee". Also belonged to a famous astronomer. Picked it because it sounded cool and also because I can absolutely see this guy looking at stars to idk convert a date from 30 yrs ago from Eden time to Pandoran time. Middle name (Béla) is from Hungarian. It could mean either "white" or "guts, bowel". It's also the name of four Hungarian kings. Picked it because I wanted some sort of weird ish middle name starting with B (or more accurately my brain wanted it; OCs often just. Come into my brain somewhat fully formed and demand VIBES) and this one sounded coolio. Surname (Monroe) is Scottish, meaning "from the Mouth of the Roe". It was also the surname of an American president who pioneered the eponymous doctrine of isolationism. Fitting for this guy since he does not like being disturbed in his work lol.

🎯 Calculations (sometimes he does it too fast and eats minuses or changes a 5 to a 6. beats himself up over it. this is definitely not me projecting.), speed typing, and oddly enough origami. He's got these massive fancy ahh origami constructions strewn about his office (and if somehow you got him to chill you'd absolutely get 10000 expertly constructed paper planes thrown at you).

❤️ Marsh explicitly calling him a friend for the first time. (Gal doesn't really have many friends, both in and out of work.)

✂️ Worst memory? What worst memory? Everything's fine. He totally didn't have anything excised or erased maybe. No he doesn't know anything about that planet that starts with G. Everything is in order.

🧠 first proper cisgender man jakobs employee oc (technically Poirot was first but he's just an au). took me long enough. unfortunately he is also bisexual /SILLY

Lazarus:

✨️ I'm ngl I was thinking of The Binding of Isaac video game at the time. Only later did I realize "wow zir adoption into the family coincides with the restoration of the manor and general resurgence of the jakobs corporation. just like that bible guy who died and got resurrected. and also it keeps with the jakobs corp's biblical symbolism theme".

🎯 stealing Nothing specific. Ze's a jack of all trades master of none. Even if we're talking skilltree wise I'd imagine ze'd be equally good at mobbing and at bossing. But probably a bit more at bossing.

❤️ It's a competition between finding zir first magazine there in the dump and being found by this strange probably corporate but incognito aka LOADED guy then realizing he's really cool actually (the guy was Alistair Hammerlock hunting the Sovian Basilisk btw he just wanted someone who'd guide him through the sewers since he's not used to hunting in the concrete jungle).

✂️ NOT zir parents dying despite what you might think (ze doesn't remember that at all; it was very long ago and confusing and shit). Honestly all the worst moments in zir life happened so early they're in a haze for the most part. This includes the starvation and illness and all that. It physically hurts to recall it.

🧠 MY FIRST ACTUAL BORDERLANDS OC THEEEEE SCIMBO SCUNKY THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SILLY EVER. WAINLOCK FANKID. HUNT VAULTER. FUNKY EVER FOR FUCKING REAL E

Windward

✨️ I forgor </3 It's kinda sad bc his name doesn't really fit the aesthetic of Athame much anymore? Like. That place is basically Persian/Sarmatian Steampunk Magic Vaguely British Interdimensionally Connected Warsaw/Gdynia and "Sir Robert Windward" just sounds mid. (He was the first guy in that oc verse; back then it was just SUPER British and shit.) It's not even strange like Poirot's surname. But I can't just rename him so I like to think it's a "translation convention" (aka Triadic transliteration; just like Athame is actually written as Adzameh in the proper local language) of some much cooler Athamian name idk. And/or that he has a more appropriate middle name like Parvuz (invented but appropriate for the style I'm going for) or Mehr (modern Persian form of Mithra) or smth like that.

🎯 Mf just wants to consolidate his parents' quasi-legal contract empire. And when I mean consolidate I mean CONSOLIDATE they let his ass onto the city council despite his family being considered "noble" only a generation ago (Athame is quasi-oligarchic; used to be a monarchy then elective monarchy then oligarchy and now it sort of has elections and shit but not really it's got the council which essentially has authoritarian rule. It's a bit of a mess very roughly inspired by Sanation era Poland. Because I'm cringe). Also raise an adoptive heir to said empire because he is NOT getting pregnant.

❤️ Transition day. Like of course gender euphoria is cool but have you ever gotten it all at once? That or maybe the day he had his first cigar. Or piece of sugar candy.

✂️ His mother's death. She was killed by the Conspiracy (AKA the Silent Conspiracy, an organization led by Yaldab'axas, one of the Old Gods, which is exactly what it says; a conspiracy effort to snuff out the Great Engine. He doesn't know it was them) in an exceptionally brutal spir-fueled (i.e. magical; spir is magical energy in TTP) manner right in front of his eyes. His father spent the rest of his life studying and trying to uncover the Conspiracy, which led to many (though not all) of their ventures being sold. It's also the reason why Rosa wants his gay ass tower, it's chock full of records on the Conspiracy, and homegirl is DETERMINED to find and kill all these fuckers.

🧠 He's everything to me. He's my problematic fave. He's transgender. He's a manwhore. Both he and his family have committed innumerable warcrimes AND regular crimes. He's pansexual and polyamorous. Both his gender and sexuality are tied into his story but not for the reasons you think. He's canonically a DILF. He's a wizard. He's a failguy. He's immensely successful. He's a homewrecker. He's a businessman. He's a hedonist. He has soggy naturals. He's masculine in the way an orphan generating Victorian coal baron is masculine. He's in Borderlands also for some reason. He's never had a proper loving romantic relationship. He's got a moustache that covers his face. Et cetera.

#fourth wall mail slot #magnuficentwo #oc: galileusz b. monroe #oc: lazarus jakobs #oc: sir windward #magnus #ask meme #I RAMBLED SO MUCH HOPE U LIEK THIS #long post

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daimonclub · 6 months

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Shopping coolest stores

Harrod's London Shopping coolest stores, best shopping stores in the world with also online websites, plus some useful quotes to better understand the human shopping philosophy. It is truly an amazing and special feeling when you see something beautiful in a shopping mall or online shopping site and you get it for yourself. I feel really proud and happy when I can buy some stuff for me. Shopping is no less than therapy. You might have heard people saying I have just had retail therapy. The kind of happiness, excitement, and satisfaction that comes with shopping is real and undeniable. Shopping enables you to try new brands and products and have many new experiences. Also, consumer demand increases the competition in the market, which contributes to the growth of economic activities. Governments are deemed to succeed or fail by how well they make money go round, regardless of whether it serves any useful purpose. They regard it as a sacred duty to encourage the country’s most revolting spectacle: the annual feeding frenzy in which shoppers queue all night, then stampede into the shops, elbow, trample and sometimes fight to be the first to carry off some designer junk which will go into landfill before the sales next year. The madder the orgy, the greater the triumph of economic management. George Monbiot Happiness is not in money but in shopping. Marilyn Monroe

Galeries Lafayette Paris For me, shopping is a way to unwind. Stacey Dooley Shopping is my cardio. Carrie Bradshaw I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. Tammy Faye Bakker I need these cashmere gloves because it’s winter… and I have hands. Rebecca Bloomwood I love shopping. There is a little bit of magic found in buying something new. It is instant gratification, a quick fix. Rebecca Bloom Christmas shopping! I can do all my Christmas shopping here! I know March is a bit early, but why not be organized? And then when Christmas arrives I won’t have to go near the horrible Christmas crowds. Sophie Kinsella

Destiny Usa New York Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping, you can make an exchange for something you really like. Adrienne Gusoff Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. Dave Barry I shop, therefore I am. Heather Chandler Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase. Erma Bombeck Show your confidence. Show you’re not afraid. Go to restaurants. Go shopping. Rudy Giuliani Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there’s nothing you like. Janet Evanovich

Amazon store Buy what you don’t have yet or what you really want, which can be mixed with what you already own. Buy only because something excites you, not just for the simple act of shopping. Karl Lagerfeld I love shopping. There is a little bit of magic found in buying something new. It is instant gratification, a quick fix. Rebecca Bloom I think, they should list shopping as a cardiovascular activity. My heart never beats as fast as it does when I see a reduced by 50 percent’ sign. Sophie Kinsella The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck Recreational shopping is the shortest distance between two points: you and broke. Victoria Moran Shopping is actually very similar to farming a field. You can’t keep buying the same thing, you have to have a bit of variety. Sophie Kinsella

Aliexpress store For some, shopping is an art; for others, it’s a sport. Pamela Klaffke The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. Marcelene Cox. Shopping is a bit of a relaxing hobby for me, which is sometimes troubling for the bank balance. Rebecca Hall I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. Tommy Cooper I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet. Carrie Bradshaw I did a lot of shopping for her in Tokyo because the colors here are very conservative. A shopaholic would have a coat in every color and lots of accessories. Sophie Kinsella

Milan fashion chamber Italy If a man doesn’t fit, you can’t exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. Rebecca Bloomwood The only consolation I had was buying things. If I bought some pretty thing it cheered me up for a while. Iris Murdoch Never give up on something you really want. However impossible things seem, there’s always a way. Sophie Kinsella One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales. Grace Kriley There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? Conan O’Brien Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Richard Lamm

Christmas markets in the world Style Strategy is about shopping smart, staying chic, and making it all last. It’s about showing women how to shop for value without compromising style. Nina Garcia From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. Katharine Whitehorn Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a ‘religious’ meaning. Andy Borowitz I’m a last-minute shopper. I end up at the mall or somewhere on Christmas Eve. It’s a shame. Brad Paisley If I have free time, I want to go to the beach, walk around a shopping mall, go grocery shopping. Live a little bit of life. James Wan I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.” Jen Lancaster

Best Chinese Watches They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.” Sophie Kinsella Shopping is really complicated if you are a girl. Helen Salter I've no idea when I'm going to wear it, the girl replied calmly. I only knew that I had to have it. Once I tried it on, well... She shrugged. The dress claimed me. Isabel Wolff Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. Bo Derek Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets. Mignon McLaughlin If men liked shopping, they'd call it research. Cynthia Nelms

Original T-shirts When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it's not, and I need to do it again. Sophie Kinsella For in some ways the world was like a shopping centre, and he himself was a doubtful customer, often ineffectual, being talked into buying things he didn't want, things indeed which nobody in their right mind would want to buy. Margaret Mahy The saving of money is usually the delaying of the wasting of money. Mokokoma Mokhonoana Once a culture becomes entirely advertising friendly, it seizes to be a culture at all. Mark Crispin Miller Always be polite to possible murderers: that was the twenty-four-hour-shopping philosophy. Kate Griffin Hanging onto a bad buy will not redeem the purchase.” Terence Conran

Diagonal Mar Barcelona The wise find pleasure in using a product until it is no longer usable; the foolish, in replacing an old but still usable product with a brand new one.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana COVID-19 may be the final nail in the coffin of the traditional store model as the isolated people of the world switch to internet shopping. Steven Magee Shopping: one of my favorite pastimes. Adrienne Posey Therapy is a good grocery store. Adrienne Posey When deciding what to buy, remember that some things are easy to buy - but then we have to use them. If they're not used, they don't enhance our lives; they just contribute to guilt and clutter. Gretchen Rubin In this era of oversupply and super-abundance in fashion, one doesn’t need more. Well, definitely not more of things...whereas we all could use MORE of wisdom, education and ethics of consumption. Anastacia Plastinina

The Rockefeller Center New York The need for social interaction ... is very much a part of why women shop. All our interviewees commented at some point that social interaction was part of the shopping experience. Stella Minahan ...I get home and there's a box on my front porch. My serotonin surges and Jeff Bezos is a rich man because he knows how much we all just love to get a present, even if it's a present we bought for ourselves. Caroline Kepnes If shopping helps them to forgive you, I think you won't find an easier and cheaper way to be forgiven. Sarvesh Jain Happiness is not having what you love, it is loving what you have. Amit Kalantri Paying or having paid for something often makes it seem necessary; or better, more important, or more useful than it is. Mokokoma Mokhonoana I hate department stores. They're too bright, too loud, and too crammed full of junk that nobody needs. Whenever I'm forced to spend time in one I start thinking about how consumer culture is just one long, expensive, planet-killing distraction from the fact that we're all going to die eventually. Karen M. McManus

Black Friday Shopping Our caring about what others think about us is one of the pillars of the economy. Mokokoma Mokhonoana When unmoderated materialism is the world's norm, consumer is the product, product does the consuming.” Abhijit Naskar During the shopping process, Amazon’s AI offers suggestions of items that it predicts you will want to buy. The AI does a reasonable job. However, it is far from perfect. In our case, the AI accurately predicts what we want to buy about 5 percent of the time. We actually purchase about one of every twenty items it recommends. Considering the millions of items on offer, that’s not bad! Ajay Agrawal Happiness is all too often pursued through the use of a credit card. Mokokoma Mokhonoana For most people who board, the experience of shopping or acquiring is so overwhelmingly rewarding that it erases all thoughts of consequences. Randy O. Frost Consumerism is based on the illusion that you can fill spiritual or emotional emptiness with physical products. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Cyber Monday Shopping Just because you purchased something costly doesn’t mean you have to use it every day to feel its worth. Sarvesh Jain There are two ways to shop, one is to try until you find exactly what you’re looking for. Or second, find something that feels good and hope that you’ll like it along the way. Sarvesh Jain You can also read: Facebook market Fashion quotes Black Friday Day Cyber Monday Thanksgiving Day Story Chinese watches Tennis bracelet history Parnis watches Tevise brand watch Lige brand watch Hot flash sales https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONe6AU_uaUc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcyP-zA3HjU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0Q-l9WIGjU Read the full article

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dancer-subclarington · 1 year

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Okay so, I may have chosen songs and decades based on what clothes and materials I had. I don’t like the kind of history that’s taught in school, like wars and geography and stuff. I do however have an appreciation for how music, dance moves, words, and fashion change throughout time.

My first outfit was just something simple and cute to duet Abba’s Lay All Your Love On Me from Mamma Mia for the 70s. My 40s outfit doesn’t have a specific inspiration, but it matches the vibe of the song Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree; very sweet and old timey. The others outfits are all based on blondes because Im totally into this dress up thing and I don’t want to wear a wig at a party. Marilyn Monroe is someone I wouldn’t have the guts to dress as, but this decades thing gives me permission, as she’s perfect for the 50s. And when dressed that way, you can’t not sing a Marilyn song, so Diamonds was an easy choice. The 60s outfit was inspired by Hairspray, particularly the role of Amber. There are similarities that can be drawn between she and I, and while Im glad Im not as judgmental as her, it’s always fun to play someone mean. I have a special place in my heart for the role as Ive played her before, but I didn’t want to sing those songs for this so I ended up picking a song from my past in dance. I did a trio when I was 8 to a remix of My Boyfriends Back, someone at the small competition recorded it and posted it and it got into the world. It was actually really important for my confidence. Once Id been called a slut and other obscene things by random adults on youtube, mean girls at pageants didn’t have the same oomph anymore. Plus, every kid should do something that gets them in trouble at some point right? So I sang the original version of My Boyfriends Back for my 60s song. Pretty sure I temporarily wrecked my hair with all that hairspray. And for 90s, I really had to jump at the chance to dress as Cher from Clueless. The outfit is so fun, so I chose Man I Feel Like A Woman because it totally matched the vibe!

#decade event #events #event: decades party #pics #parties #performances #wardrobe #outfits

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love-and-i-am · 2 years

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JAM Magazine (South Edition) Feb 17th, 1995

CONFESSIONS OF AN ALL-AMERICAN ANTICHRIST

By Eric Snider

Black tattoos adorn alabaster skin. Long, straight ebony hair spills down his back. He is a study in leanness: lean frame, lean face, slender arms. One eye is brown, the other is cats-eye blue, courtesy of a contact lens. He is wearing long beat-up shorts, beat-up boots and a beat-up black T-shirt.

Meet Mr. Manson - a.k.a. Marilyn Manson - sitting on a ratty couch backstage at a nightclub during a late afternoon in December. He looks impossibly nocturnal, as if a bright light would make him recoil.

Earlier in '94, under the aegis of Trent Reznor's Nothing label, Ft. Lauderdale-based Marilyn Manson - a five pieced band once called Marilyn Manson & the Spooky Kids - released Portrait of An American Family, an album so explicit it wears two Parental Advisory stickers. Over grinding, metallic guitars and thunder beats, Mr. Manson growls garish lyrics about kinky sex, gun-toting revenge, self-loathing, horror, and pain.

It's not so easy being controversial these days. There's a lot of competition. But, at the moment, Marilyn Manson is one of the most vulgar rock acts on the scene. And with a conservative political mindset gaining control in America, the Manson family might need to break out the flak jackets.

The first salvo has been fired: Mr. Manson was busted at Club 5 in Jacksonville on Dec 27 for "violation of adult entertainment." A police report alleges that during the concert Mr. Manson pulled down his pants to "reveal a simulated black penis and began to rub it. He squeezed it several times and squirted an unknown liquid into the crowd. He pulled down his pants, exposing his buttocks, and made no attempt to pull his pants up."

For Mr. Manson, it was just another night at the office. The fake phallus is a regular part of his act. Suddenly, a bust. What bothers Mr. Manson most is not the impending legal hassles, but that his lawyers have insisted he not comment about the arrest. So he dances around the subject.

"The people that are trying to bring down all the conservatism on us, all the political correctness, are the same people that created Marilyn Manson," says Mr. Manson. "They're the same people that raised me on caffeine, sugar, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, violence on TV, pornography. Now all of a sudden people can't handle it anymore. It's NutraSweet, PG13, less violence on TV. It's too late for that. They made Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson, to me, is a representation of my generation, my culture. By the same token, I think that that conservative mentality needs to exist for Marilyn Manson to exist. And if Marilyn Manson, and what it represents weren't here, they probably wouldn't be here either. We are reliant on each other."

Mr. Manson speaks introspectively, answering each question with thoughtful articulation. He rarely makes eye contact, and when he does it is with those twin-tone orbs, which he says represent the duality of the artist: the Marilyn (as in Monroe), the soft provocateur, the insinuator; and the Manson (as in Charles), the evil manipulator. These characteristics are in all of us, he says.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Manson is an enigma. One moment he seems vulnerable, like when he speaks of his days as a non-churchgoing kid in a Christian school. At other times, he is defiant, especially when he talks about his battles with the Christian coalition in Jacksonville, who have launched attacks on his explicit stage performances and, he feels, were somehow involved in the Jacksonville bust. He is a relentless social commentator, pointing out what he perceives to be the lies and duplicity that permeate our culture. Marilyn Manson is here, he says, to provide a reality check. He also readily admits to being a hypocrite, just like the rest of us.

The central enigma about Mr. Manson is this: Where is the line between the image and the real person? He claims to be an "entertainer." He likes to stir up trouble for trouble's sake, but seems sincere about his social agenda. "Basically, I live this life, I'm stuck in this life," he says evenly. "I don't exactly know how to describe it, but Marilyn Manson is a 24-hour thing. It's not something I can turn off."

Mr. Manson prefers to keep his real name confidential. He grew up in smalltown Ohio surrounded by conservative values and conflicting messages. "I was pumped full of fear," he says. "Fear about Armageddon, fear of going to Hell, fear of the devil coming to me in the middle of the night for listening to heavy metal music. When none of these things happened, one day I woke up and realized I couldn't believe in these things. I had to find an alternative to be a happy person. So I basically did everything I was told not to do. They told me not to listen to Black Sabbath, so I listened to them. I read a lot of taboo literature - Aleister Crowley and Anton LaVey."

Mr. Manson is an ordained priest in the Church of Satan, but he does not believe in the devil. That would require acknowledging a Christian God. "LaVey, who started Satanism in 1966, is basically a very P.T. Barnum quality of person," Mr. Manson explains. "A lot of the things he wrote, I already believed. To me, Satanism was never about worshiping the devil. It's about man being his own god on earth. You do not worship anything except yourself.

It takes on the original concept of Satan - the opposer, the accuser, the greatest rebel of all time. There are a lot of ignorant people out there who call themselves Satanists, and this is where you get your lunatics from. They are people who acknowledge Christianity, they feel God is right but they choose to be wrong. They are gonna worship Christianity's devil. These are maybe the confused kids, who go off into deathmetal and shit, who don't understand where it's coming from, that it's not about hurting anything - sacrificing animals, killing babies."

While he emits just one chuckle during an hour interview, Mr. Manson says he's basically a happy guy, although not in the jovial, back-slapping way. "A lot of people think I'm depressed or pissed off," he says. "I guess I just express happiness in different ways. A lot of people want to surround themselves with things like Marilyn Manson or car crashes or serial killers because they're so afraid of death, they can get close to it in a safe sort of way. It helps them appreciate life more. I read about these things and it makes me appreciate life, how good things are for me. It's about getting out all these fears and hatreds, which I'm showing to everyone else - and myself. That makes me happy."

But he recognizes that his message will not be viewed by many as a valued public service. "America will paint me out to be this terrible person," he says, "responsible for teen suicide, mass murder. I want to call their bluff. 'I am the All-American Anti-Christ. Go ahead, be afraid. I am going to do all the things you think I'm going to do.' To them, it's the end of the world. To me, it's just starting trouble. I don't always have a good reason for the things I do. It's just to cause a little chaos. America needs it. Everything is so uptight. I do what I do. If I go to jail for it, so be it."

Opening for Nine Inch Nails in Tampa late last year, Mr. Manson did something on stage that even raised the eyebrows of those accustomed to his antics. According to Mr. Manson, the guitarist for Nine Inch Nails came out in an S&M; slave suit. Manson proceeded to take guitarist's penis into his mouth in front of God, country and a bevy of 14-year olds. The rumor mill said it was an enactment. Mr. Manson says, "It happened. I didn't plan it out. It just happened. We ended up laughing about it later. Everybody seems so taken back by it. My parents were there. They weren't even shocked about it, so I don't know why anyone else is.

"Ever since then, people have been questioning my sexuality. Am I gay, straight, bi-sexual? To ask me that is to be ignorant to what Marilyn Manson stands for. Marilyn Manson transcends morality, and sexuality. He's a gray area. I don't like putting a label on anything."

Yet surely Mr. Manson can objectively understand how his actions on stage could shock some people.

"Yes, I see where they would be taken back," Manson acknowledges. "People's real fears start to come out when you do something like that. A lot of macho guys started calling me 'faggot', wanted to start a fight with me. Why would they want to fight me 'cause I did that? Obviously, it scared them. I'm confident enough with my sexuality where I can do something like that. Anyone who knows me knows I like girls."

So Marilyn Manson rocks on, a walking contradiction with a solid sense of self.

"Within my personality, there's a balance between the Marilyn side and the Manson side," he says. "It's not as easy as the off-stage me and the on-stage me. I know that I've done much more disturbing things off stage than I have on stage. A lot of it has to do with me being a moody person. Some people view it as a fault. I have accepted it and turned it into my artistry. I try to be honest, but sometimes I act how I'm expected to act.

I'm here to entertain. A lot of bands these days don't want to admit that. They think it's being phony. But in a lot of ways admitting it is more honest than those who try to deny it. I'm saying, look, everyone's a hypocrite. I'm willing to go beyond it if you can admit it."

#talks #marilyn manson #interview #1995

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thed4rkhand · 3 years

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Tarot pick a card

What your future spouse thinks of you?

Read before -

I’ll be including some intuitive stuff, just know that it’s general so not every thing is meant for you, take what resonates.

Since perception is a dynamic concept, ill relate this to what they will think of you the first time they meet you, as in after a proper interaction, not just impression.

Midway this just turned into me calling people out. I apologize

Pick an Emerald and let’s get started.-

Pile 1-

They may think you’re super career focussed, and somewhat stubborn in your approach. I’m getting strong Taurus and Capricorn energy here. You may come off as a little snooty or snobbish to people, even though you’re truly not trying to be. Resting bitch face? You may be a perfectionist, or at least come off as such. They type to say “Well, let me do it for you” kinds. Cancer and Capricorn, maybe virgo vibes. This pile is so earth heavy, you guys might be the kind whose looking for stability and chalk out your plans way in advance, but have an issue with really executing the plan.

You may be someone who is always juggling between a gazillion tasks, and always curious to learn about things. They’ll definitely pick up on these inquisitive qualities of yours, as well as often times being all over the place. You may have your head high up in the clouds too, Sagittarius and Pisces? You definitely dilly-dally a lot, for example, you want a fitter body, but aren’t ready to workout, even if you chalked out a whole schedule to follow the night before. You’re often too lost in your thoughts, and this duality of air and earth is super prominent in your first impression here. Drawn to pile 2? Go there too

Lastly intuitive stuff - you may have a “everything will come to me on its own attitude”/ may own a dog/ be a bit traditional/ fond of wearing hats?/ wacky inventions/ green/ maroon/ cowboys/ horses and guns/margaritas/ short height/ intercut a lot with guys/ indulge in drinking / introvert

Pile 2-

Ooh pile 2, if you felt pulled to pile 3 then check that out too. Now coming onto your reading, you may come off as a bit serious and tired. You may be the kind of person who feels the have the burden of the whole damn world on their shoulders, and have forgotten how to be childish again. Moon in Scorpio? You guys may reminisce a lot about the past, and are extremely self conscious of what others think of you. You display this quite clearly. My fellow escapists, is this you? They’ll see those tendencies in you, how you’re so somber and avoid emotional or psychological intimacy. You try to brush things under the carpet and act as if all is good and fine. Where are my Virgo and Aquarius babies?

They’ll see you going through an upheaval at this point. I also feel like people here don’t have great relationships with their parents? They’ll see you bicker a lot, or just having straight up given up. They can alternately also see you as someone to whom their parent’s approval and opinion means a lot. You may be the mother of the group, always consoling people and helping them, but also you have terribly toxic friends? Capricorn and cancer, also pisces babies here. They’ll see this too. You can be incredibly hard on yourself and very anxious, inner turmoil in your head. However you’ll be very private about such matters. Hang on darlings!

Lastly intuitive stuff- hairbands/marmalade/drinking/blue/scissors/knives/grandparents/huts/ relaxing/ blonde/ construction/ hands/ eyebrows/ crockery/ coffee/ gems/ pictureframes/ self victimization/ home chores/ patriarchy/ feminism

Pile 3-

So your person might think you’re full of potential, though a bit indecisive. You have so many different ideas, but you don’t know where to start, and this often leaves you exhausted and uninspired. You might be somewhat hyper active and impatient, you want results and you want them now. Aries and Gemini babies, please reveal yourselves. You’re highly charismatic, and somewhat impulsive. You may rush into things without a well though out plan. You get deeply engrossed in things, sometimes even obsessive over things. You may be extremely into foreign cultures and learning about them too! Aquarius and Sagittarius babies cmon.

You might put on a happy face and brave through things, but ultimately it’s not you. You may bottle up emotions and at times be vindictive. Read a lot of self help book? Maybe you’re into psychology. You may have very clinical feelings, and find it hard to be empathetic. You be be extremely cynical and try to perfect every task, only as far as it concerns you. With other’s you’re always forgiving. Drawn to pile 4? Are you guys into law? My libra babies? They may think you’re really smart, and have a very objective sense of justice. You may be extremely blunt in your approach, no nonsense kinds too. You may be into debating.

Lastly intuitive stuff- books/ kebabs/ grills/ outdoors/cycles/ cooking/ cleaning/ OCD?/ painting/ fizzy drinks/ daydreamer/ Sean Connery?/ converse/ dungarees/ autumn/ meadows/ all bark no bite/ ankle ache

Pile 4-

Eeesh, so many cards flew out. I think I have my chatty bunch here. They’ll firstly instantly see you as their soulmate, however ludicrous it sounds. Things between you will fall into place. They’ll think you’re far too mature for your age and very philosophical. They’ll think you’re extremely charming. My Libras and Pisces babies here. They think you’re juggling too many commitments, and are a bit all over the place. Do you guys have some health issues here? They may pick up on that too! They may however think you’re a bit stingy and materialistic honestly though. You place too much importance on money and status here. You may enjoy the life of comfort, and like to micromanage everything. My Taurians and Leos come out.

They may think you’re extremely practical and don’t take anyone’s shit, if something is not suiting you, you walk out for good. You are keen at identifying issues like this, but sometimes you don’t know when to stop with your personal endeavors. You get too hung up on the time and money or effort you spent, and keep trying to fix things, even beyond repair. Cancer babies, virgo babies, come out. You may be an extremely competitive person, and sometimes cat impulsively, only to regret it later. You may win fights, but at what cost? You be be moody and hold grudges.

Lastly intuitive stuff- gardening/ sun hats/ flowers/ ropes/blue/ dresses/ lace/ thread and scissors/ dog/ ballet/ dancing/ mischief/ feminine/ gingham checks/ heels/plates/ intuition/ confused/ red car/ planes/Scarfs/ Marylin Monroe?

Anywhoo let me know if you guys enjoyed it or have any other suggestions!!

#tarot #pick a card #pac #tarot reading #future #intuitive #tarot pac #pick a pile

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born-to-lose · 2 years

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Hey, hope you don't mind me coming here about your addition to my tags on the "meet and greet" post? 🥺

I just wanna add that yes, meeting fans without taking money for it is totally possible even if there are like 400-800 people at the show... (of course it is) and at almost every concert I've been to (exception are twenty one pilots and I think alestorm, but I didn't check if you could meet them because I didn't care about it) the bands were always like "yeah, as always we'll come to our merch stand in a bit to have a chat or a beer, take some pics and give autographs so feel free to join us there!"

And that's what they always did (at a show with 4 bands the main act didn't but that's because I think they don't do anything like this in general?). I can say that I have a bunch of pics with quite a few bands/band members, bands that are about as 'famous' as blind channel or even more known. Also idk how many signed records or shirts I have from these bands (one of them used to be my favorite band until last year so I've seen them quite often before covid started) and they always tried to take their time with as many fans as possible. Young fans, teenagers, young adults or even adults and elders.

Example: I asked most members of my former favorite band if they could record a small audio for a friend of mine who doesn't have the chance to see them but liked them a lot as well and they took their time to do that. Some just a quick "hi, this is xy, sorry to hear you can't be here but I hope you'll get a chance to see us on our next tour!" but one even spoke for a whole minute after already having talked to me and a friend for like 5min and having taken pics with us and given autographs... (even got a hug from the members I asked which... 🥺😭🤲🏻)

So, idk if I'm just spoiled and simply used to very different behavior where the artists are happy to meet the fans and interact with them as much as they can and would never even think about taking money for that (admittedly the members of these bands are between... 30 and 50? So maybe that's a difference as well?) or idk... So maybe I'm not the right person to really form an opinion on this whole topic?

Sorry for this super long text which might be super boring and irrelevant (and very biased/personal) but uhm... Yeah I felt the need to share my experiences when it comes to this whole artist/fan interaction.

Oh and, I've been to probably 20+ shows (club gigs and 'festivals' (not really festivals but it's hard to explain)) so it's not like that was a one time experience ^^

I don't mind at all!! And exactly, so many bands do that for free! Sure, it's not something you should take for granted because they're sacrificing their free time, but that's part of building up some kind of connection with the fans to let them know you're "one of them" and not like, better than them. And often to just thank them for the support

I was in an American band's fan club for almost two years until they broke up and they regularly interacted with the members and sent us stuff they were working on and just random things and exclusive competitions (I won a necklace once lol). Tbh they're probably the band I know that cares the most for their fans

And the audio thing is so sweet omg 😭🥰 a friend of mine got a birthday video from Olli Herman because she's been a Reckless Love fan for so long and he's just the sweetest 🥺

I generally think Scandinavian bands (especially Finnish) tend to be more,,, personal towards their fans? Even when they're already more popular, they come to meet their fans. I've heard of Michael Monroe doing that and he's been huge since the 80s

#ask #paleangels13 #fine

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spnasylum · 3 years

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My notes while listening to Misha’s comments on the podcast: (grab a snack!)

In light of the most recent fandom drama I decided to listen to *that* podcast and take notes as I went along about what was actually said and then give my take on it as objectively as possible. This is basically an essay so strap in!

He complains about not getting a trailer on set that’s the same as Jared and Jensen’s. Even though he has one that can accommodate 3 people. This was the first point of discussion inspired by opening up the interview with a brief chat about Misha currently being in his camper van and how he’s sleeping in it even though he’s still home in Bellingham. The whole hour and 26 minutes has an undertone of complaining and ego stroking by all involved.

Says he’s sad he didn’t get to be there for the final days of filming.

Seems a little nervous about if friendships made during the shows run will last now it’s over.

Admits he has no plan in place or anything coming up career wise and he’s unsure of his future. This is where he brings up Walker and The Boys and says if he had shows like that to go to he wouldn’t feel SPN ending was so monumental. It is said with a slight tone of bitterness.

Side note: the hosts Alaina and Malik seem to be fine with running with the narrative that Misha was part of the show it’s entire 15 year run. Misha clears this up eventually by saying he joined in season 4.

Misha says that he realized about six years ago that SPN could run as “we” wanted it to, implying he has any say in keeping the show going or not. He asserts that he would have been on the show up until the very end in any case. But he didn’t feel that way the first few years he was on the show. So that makes me think something or someone involved gave him the feeling he could be confident in being in the cast for however long SPN aired. Maybe this was after Sera left? Maybe this was when he agreed to a significant pay cut and demotion? Either way it seems he felt SPN = job security.

Misha doubts he’ll have the feeling of job security again.

Says from around age 11 he wanted to be a politician.

Says he saw “successful, untalented” actors and decided “I can do that”. He realized that was naive and it’s actually not easy to be that successful and by the time he got his career going he was basically just in it for the fame it’s not anything he took seriously.

We find out his wife did a doctorate in gender history... for some reason.

That Marilyn Monroe was some sort of baseline for him about creating a public persona (🤷🏽‍♀️) except for getting cosmetic surgery he points out.

Talk about how he got started. Acting classes, improve groups. Moving between Chicago, DC and LA.

Discussion about the differences and similarities between Hollywood and Washington.

States he got a consultant to help him cultivate a fan base and image to connect with an audience after getting on SPN. Admits that was a double edged sword because an anonymous public start thinking that they really know you and things start getting weird.

Mentions trying to find a balancing act of being authentic and having a private life but still keeping your fans.

He admits that the fan base he grew for himself by seeming accessible has caused him to attract people who don’t have any boundaries. This is when he claims the “dialing it back” in regard to how much he shares and mentions his kids specifically as something he doesn’t feel comfortable with putting out there. Uses the word “unhinged” to describe them.

Malik mentions “crazy fans” who seem to know too much about you and finding out where you are etc. Using the example of fans turning up at an airport wanting autographs and you wondering how they even knew you’d be there and what flight you taking. He asks Misha to share experiences about his own crazy fans.

This is when Misha uses the example about having fans who think that when he tweets something out he’s communicating with them personally.

Alaina then says that in the Supernatural fandom people fight each other to protect Jared, Jensen and Misha and it’s “very bizarre”. She volunteered that people think Misha secretly hates Jared and that it’s not true. Not sure why she decided to direct the conversation to a place that would cause drama and give Misha a chance to play victim.

And then...

That’s when he claims that he was public enemy number one with super fans of the show because he’s taking attention away from Jared and Jensen.

That’s when he brings up the alleged organized attack to take down his Facebook account. He says they reported him for... *pauses... claims to not know what. But that whatever it was “Facebook bought it and took it down”. Facebook deleted/deactivated his account but he eventually got it back.

Side note: Facebook (like all social media) have always been bias when it comes to people with leftist views and let them have free reign on the platform. So he must have done something that they would decide to suspend him. I don’t think J2 fans can be blamed for the content he posts and if it violated any ToS. As we know he can post some inappropriate things on social media.

He then brings up the allegations of him taking money out of his organization. Stating it’s “categorically untrue” is all he brings forward as evidence to the contrary.

Side note: I don’t know why then that there’s no receipts or transparency. Why is his mother a beneficiary, why do people who mention he owns Stands get blocked, why set everything up in Delaware and have your for profit and so called non profit interests so entangled etc etc) I guess fans are just supposed to have faith and take his word for it.

He says that ALL of them (Jared, Jensen and himself) have people who hate them in the fandom. But overall the fandom is lovely and supportive of the cast and each other. Makes an attempt at stating there’s no kind of competition or animosity between he and Jared. I think this is like the 3rd or 4th time in the interview either he or Alaina bring up Jared but keep the focus on how Misha is the one facing “character assassination.”

Finally says that all of them have nasty things done to them and they all have had to consult security because of threats to their families etc, doesn’t specify which faction of the fandom that’s coming from. Mentions people filing police reports in the fandom but doesn’t say regarding who or what. Alaina reacts like it’s the first time hearing of this happening. Misha just goes “yeah!” Then they move on to talking about living situations.

Apparently Alaina and Misha were neighbors in LA but didn’t take advantage of that. She doesn’t live in LA anyone, wants a new adventure.

Misha mentions Bellingham is another thing about his future he’s unsure about and how his kids flourished there.

Brings up not being present with his kids even when he’s home because of work and side projects and that the one thing he’s enjoying right now it spending time with them. That he used to operate from a place of guilt because his kids felt like they only have one parent. He and Malik briefly spoke on how their careers have negatively affected their love lives.

Misha says he’s not really involved with Random Acts or running it anymore. (Ummm... what)

He and Alaina discuss Haiti and Nicaragua for a while.

Says he may try to get into directing. Says he likes having creative control. Mentions he likes doing his art installations.

Admits that getting a bit of success made him very entitled and wanting of special treatment. But claims he’s trying to keep that in check (where?) and he’s just like everyone else (well duh!). But he “trades on his celebrity” to get stuff and it makes him feel dirty (I think everyone with any kind of following does that though so nbd)

Talk of how TV/film is more diverse in telling minority stories these days.

Was asked by Malik if he has any kind of chip on his shoulder career wise and Misha says the chip on his shoulder is being bored. But says he needs to work on being more engaged.

He then abruptly wants to end the interview. Saying he has to pick up his kids. Malik wants another question. He asks how Misha has been hurt or healed by his career.

Misha then brings up the movie Karla. Again admitting to becoming more like Paul psychologically irl. But says knowing he has that type of evil in him somewhere (and says that we all have that in us) made him more empathetic to the human condition.

They then say their goodbyes. End of interview.

——

My takeaway. The worst thing he can think to say the people who don’t like him in the fandom did was trolling to get his Facebook deactivated? Also that people can see the suspicious nature of his businesses? It would be really easy to settle that with actually being transparent about the finances, which they aren’t and not having close family as benefactors though. Also, I can only speak for myself. But I never hated him. I actually loved Castiel (before his character was there just to be there in recent seasons and Cass wasn’t Cass anymore. I think Misha’s need to pander to shippers/stay on the show was a great disservice to Castiel and his arc) I was a huge Misha fan, and participated in RA and Gish a lot. I absolutely adored Misha, I led myself to believe he was the most amazing person in the world, obviously that’s the reaction he wanted to cultivate from us. Unfortunately I learned too much, experienced first hand and heard too much to be able to keep cheerleading for him. I feel bad for the people still under the spell of feeling like it’s their job to keep being defensive and unreasonably loyal to someone who you can’t and don’t really know and only have a superficial “relationship” with. Seeing the ever more unhealthy and toxic lengths people feel they need to go to to prop up his ego etc. The constant investment emotionally and financially that goes into it and the “sunk cost” if you let reality in makes it hard to let go I guess. Even he knows that what he’s done to gain and maintain relevance has attracted what he called multiple times an unhinged fan base he has to try and balance without losing his influence. I think he maybe had or has good intentions but his fame hungry drive and narcissistic personality traits win out in the end. The Heller’s seem to have, as always, taken what was said and blown it out of proportion, twisted things and created their own narrative. I do see them using key words from the interview a lot suddenly though to bully for him. So, I guess the dog whistle to the sycophants worked out. I hope that a time comes where they can have a more healthy relationship with the media and public figures they choose to gravitate towards. We can all get over zealous with things but there’s lines that shouldn’t be crossed. For some that seems sadly unlikely. I hope that Misha does indeed one day get himself in check as he calls it and I can feel comfortable to support him again. But so long as he’s being enabled and not held accountable again that seems sadly unlikely. Even though I do occasionally find myself being drawn in by the facade again a little and quickly retreating because the issues remain the same. There is a problematic dynamic in the Supernatural fandom for sure. That’s why for a long time I opted out and just watched the show separately from fandom. It’s why when I found out it was ending I had this odd sense of relief I wasn’t expecting to feel and it made me sad. I hope that now the show has aired its finale we can all reflect on things, hopefully be more self aware and objective and most importantly honest about what really has gone down and why. When things started turning sour there have been plenty of times it could have been nipped in the bud yet wasn’t. People who used this silly yet special show in selfish ways, times when walking away would have been better than sticking around trying to make things and people into something never intended to be, giving into tribalism while claiming we’re a family... for that I think we all hold a little piece of responsibility.

You can listen to it yourself on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0m07her5JUf0JGGtDVohtJ?si=c-RdyZzFQmSzffgNzZhkQg

#anti misha #anti misha collins #misha collins #supernatural #fandom #anti destihellers #strap in its a long one again #opinion #trying to be objective #alaina huffman #malik yoba #anti minions #misha #collins

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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 39, June 2016 - Naked living, Tokyo Sports 'Lowlife Awards', Muhammad Ali's death.

Kaoru starts by saying at the time of this broadcast, the band will still be on tour and they will only have two dates at Shinkiba left to do. Joe says he wants to attend the live on June 2nd. This date is also the day of the next broadcast of this show, so he will go to the live, then come home and listen to Dir's new single Utafumi on this show.

Kaoru's first topic relates to a British tv documentary shown on the channel Barcroft TV (now the youtube channel Truly) about a 'naked family'. Kaoru says just the word 'naked' reminds him of the naked old man living on an island in Okinawa, who was visited by Hiranabe. Getting back on track, he continues that the documentary concerns married couple Dave and Diane, who live in Cornwall, UK. This was Diane's 4th marriage, her third being with an abusive man who caused her to see little value in herself. Then she met Dave, who had been interested in naked living since his teens. After being with Dave for two years, Diane has learned to see value in herself again, and has also been happily living naked with him. Kaoru stresses that it seems like they only go naked at home, or at sanctioned places, they are not just walking down the street naked. Both he and Joe wonder about the mentality behind this. They mention the existence of nudist beaches etc. Joe admits that although he usually wears clothes both outside and at home, when he gets stuck writing his manuscripts, he takes a bath to ponder the issue. If he realises the answer to his problem, he will jump out of the bath, and get back to writing, not bothering with clothes. This is slightly different from a naked lifestyle, but it has that same liberating element. Kaoru comments that taking off clothes creates a neutral or 'flat' base. Some people might feel stress from wearing clothes. Joe mentions that the sociologist Kurimoto Shinichiro once said that human beings contain 20% human characteristics and 80% animal characteristics. Joe continues that from the viewpoint of an animal, wearing clothes is pretty odd. Its only humans that do it. In that sense its hard to see whats wrong with naked living. Kaoru agrees, but still thinks we can't all start going naked. Rules around this have developed over time. When you can't even show womens' chests on tv, going naked is a no-no. Joe says, imagine how awful it would be if Hiranabe came to the studio naked? Kaoru finds this pretty unpleasant and asks why Joe had to choose Hiranabe. Joe then brings up writer/actor Shimoda Kageki, who was once gifted a pair of Marylin Monroe print tights from a friend who studied design in New York. He loved the tights so much, he wore them a lot, but was ridiculed for it. His response was to say, 'whats wrong with me wearing something I love?'. Again, its slightly different from living naked, but it shows that what you wear or don't wear shouldn't have to be dicatated by trends. Kaoru repeates the idea that some people might feel stress with clothes, and liberated without them. He then changes the subject a bit to tell a story about one time he went to the toilet in Dir en grey's office. He wanted to use the cubicle, and it was unlocked so he pushed the door open, only to find a staff member in there with pants down. The staff member snapped at Kaoru, 'What are you doing?!' But Kaoru feels he didn't do anything wrong, as the door was unlocked. He didn't want to see a staff member sat on the toilet. Joe says Dir en grey's office sounds pretty interesting.

Next they welcome Tasai for the Tokyo Sports corner, and are slightly disappointed its Tasai and not Hiranabe, because they don't want Hiranabe to be on the show next week when Utafumi is played. Knowing what he is like, they would have preferred him this week so he would not appear on the Utafumi premier show. The song will be played at the end of the show, so any new listeners tuning in the hear the single will be exposed to Hiranabe. Tasai says Hiranabe is probably saving up his energy in preparation. Kaoru says he will cut Hiranabe's mic if he gets too carried away.

Tasai's first news is that Tokyo Sports have announced their own 'Low-life Awards', meaning a list of the most low-life, base stories of the year so far. The number one lowlife story so far is that of the scandal surrounding Tokyo Governer Masuzoe Yōichi. Other stories include the Becky scandal, and the scandal involving Funky Kato's affair. Kaoru mentions that at the time of recording, Masuzoe is still Tokyo Governer, but who knows what will happen. Joe says, the House of Councillors election is approaching, and the LDP/Kōmeitō may be trying to keep thier distance from Masuzoe, but there is still currently no candidate standing to replace him. Tasai speculates whether his ex-wife Katayama Satsuki could stand, or maybe Renho. Joe comments that its a difficult job to do as so many scandals around it get exposed. Masuzoe had been exposed as using public funds for personal luxuries, and one of his claims was for an Italian restaurant which is actually near Tasai's house. Its a family restaurant, which makes Tasai wonder why Masuzoe would claim expenses for this. Masuzoe was also found to have bought a Crayon Shin-chan book with public money, apparently for study. Kaoru thinks he's too stingy. Additionally, despite previously owning the horse that won the Tokyo Derby twice in a row (the horse was sold before his election), he even apparently used public money to buy a discount coupon book for his local area. Kaoru thinks he would probably forget to use the coupons anyway. Tasai thinks there will be a lot more dirty scandals to come in the second half of the year. As for private dirty scandals, Hiranabe would probably win it.

The next story relates to the death of boxer Muhammad Ali. Tasai says he knows and has heard a lot about Ali from wrestler Antonio Inoki, who had a match with Ali in 1976. Joe mentions that Ali appeared on the cover of the U.S. version of Rolling Stone many times, and was well know for his political stances in relation to war and segregation. Tasai then tells a story about Ali that he heard from Inoki. In 1995, Inoki took part in a two day wrestling competition in North Korea, which he also invited Ali to (by this stage his Parkinson's disease was quite advanced). Despite being unable to talk, Ali got up during the event, ran up the stairs and started shadow boxing. He felt some revival of his energy. The following year Ali acted as a torch barer in the 1976 Atlanta Summer Olympics, and according to Inoki it was because of this event in North Korea that Ali regained the energy to be a torch bearer in the Olympics. Tasai then talks a bit about the 1976 fight between Ali and Inoki, which consisted of boxing and pro wrestling in the same fight. Hearing Inoki's story reminds Joe of how Ali was known to believe that nothing is impossible. Joe also mentions the words Ali spoke in his Harvard speech in 1975, also known as the world's shortest poem, 'Me, We'. Tasai asks Kaoru about whether artists need to have a strong sense of will to get through struggles, like Ali had opposing the Vietnam war. He was heavily criticized for his opposition. Kaoru says Dir go by only doing things they like, and if that comes with struggle, then so be it. Its the path they chose, so they must deal with it. Tasai asks if there were any times where people havn't properly understood the band's actions. Kaoru says there is never a time when everything is understood perfectly by everyone. In fact, he prefers not to push specific explanations or meanings about Dir's music. The listeners can use thier own imagination. Tasai links this back the the new song Utafumi, and Kaoru once again repeats his desire for Hiranabe not to be on the show next week.

To finish, Kaoru plus the new jingle campaign, Budokan DVD, and tour, and reminds listeners to tune in next week for a first listen of the new single.

Songs - Dir en grey/Shokubeni

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #radio

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thatbanjobusiness · 3 years

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Wasn’t all friendship and sunshine with early bluegrass bands; bands could feel like others were financial competition. Ralph Stanley’s autobiography discusses how, in the early days of The Stanley Brothers and the Clinch Mountain Boys in the late 1940s, they got on the bad side of multiple popular groups for using “their material”: Charlie Monroe and Bill Monroe and Flatt & Scruggs.

When Charlie was at WCYB [radio] for a short spell, he’d been friendly and flattered that we did some of the old Monroe Brothers songs. He encouraged us and he said, “Go ahead, boys, you can do any of my songs you want to.” But when he went to work at the station in Knoxville, he changed his tune real fast. He got irate and he wrote WCYB a letter saying, “We don’t want the Stanley Brothers to sing any of my songs.” Now, some of them songs were older than all of us put together, and we all knew it. This whole dispute came down to business; Charlies was just protecting himself because we were getting so popular.

The Monroe Brothers was the previous act Charlie Monroe had been in during the 1930s with his brother Bill Monroe. Now, Charlie Monroe was the band leader of the Kentucky Pardners.

After splitting with Charlie, Bill Monroe formed the Blue Grass Boys, and a particular iteration of the Blue Grass Boys from 1946-1948 put the gears into motion of what many folks started emulating. Bill Monroe is well-known for both his professional tensions with the Stanleys and Flatt & Scruggs. Regarding the Stanleys, Ralph said:

We’d heard the Blue Grass Boys play a song at shows called Molly and Tenbrooks, which was a real fast number about a horse race. We liked it, so we went ahead and cut our own version. . . . The way we did the song, we featured Pee Wee on lead vocal, and he took his tenor higher than even Bill got, and I put my new three-finger banjo playing into overdrive, thanks to what Earl [Scruggs] had shown me. It was really the most we’d ever sounded like Monroe’s band, or ever would, but, to tell the truth, we were just having fun, letting Pee Wee step out by himself like his hero Bill. The hitch was this, though: Our Molly and Tenbrooks was released on Rich-R’-Tone a year before Bill’s record came out on Columbia, and that really got him mad. He thought we was ripping him off like some others were doing.

Listening to the two versions of Molly and Tenbrooks side-by-side, you can hear why Bill got edgy over the Stanleys’. Ralph Stanley learned some three-fingered banjo style from Earl Scruggs, who had been the banjo picker when Bill Monroe recorded Molly and Tenbrooks in the mid-1940s, which doesn’t help the similarities between the two tracks. Also, knowing Bill Monroe’s personality, if he heard this and noticed Pee Wee was singing higher than him, that might have been an extra sore spot... dude was proud and competitive of his voice’s high range. Sore spots only got smoothed over when Monroe met the Stanley Brothers and, for a brief spell, Carter became part of Bill’s band.

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But also, the Stanley Brothers got in trouble with Flatt & Scruggs. This is my favorite ‘rivalry’ incident with the Stanleys because it resulted in Lester Flatt confronting Carter Stanley in the street, the two of them mouthing off, and Carter punching Lester. Good job, boys, good job. Peak professionality going on here.

Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs both left Bill Monroe’s band and formed their own group in 1948. And then they started playing the same radio station the Stanley Brothers were. Ralph said:

We went to see Lester and Earl play a few shows around the area. We weren’t there to cheer them on. We was there to get us some material. We used to scout out new songs when Bill Monroe played, too, like when we got Molly and Tenbrooks. All of us Clinch Mountain Boys would be there out in the audience, and each man would write down a verse on a piece of paper and we’d learn it that way. The melody we could learn by ear, but the words was tough to get down from one listen, so we’d put together all those lines from those scraps of paper, and we’d work out the song.

Flatt & Scruggs had a song Carter [Stanley] liked a lot, Mother’s Only Sleeping. . . . We worked up our own version and started playing it on our radio program. Well, Lester didn’t like that, and he tried to ground us.

I’ve found a version of the Stanley Brothers performing the song over ten years later after Lester Flatt confronted Carter Stanley. Even though it’s not an apt comparison because this audio comes from a different period in their music, I’ll post what the Stanley Brothers did. The other song I have in comparison is when Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs... were still playing with Bill Monroe. XD

youtube

After getting in hot water with three popular bands, the Stanley Brothers made extra effort to produce original material. Carter was already a songwriter, and this was an extra boost to get him composing more. Ralph concluded:

We was just so excited by Bill’s music we couldn’t help but emulate him early on, being so young and impressionable. But we found out right fast it wasn’t no good to copy anybody, not even Bill. The main thing in music is to be original and different, and to be yourself. You need to be original to get anywhere, and you need to do your own material if you’re going to make your way. We just had to learn the hard way.

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junkyardromeo · 3 years

Text

me making my newest oc 😌

i know no one cares but under the cut is some stuff about him :)

First name?

lani

Surname?

sparks

Middle names?

jonathan

Nicknames?

family calls him sparky

Date of birth?

january 1st, 1966

Height?

5’11”

Weight?

120–he’s too skinny

Build?

slim but strong

Hair colour?

blonde

Hair style?

long and messy

Eye colour?

blue

Distinguishing facial features?

slightly crooked teeth with a gap between the two front ones

Which facial feature is most prominent?

mouth

Which bodily feature is most prominent?

dick probably his hair tbh

Other distinguishing features?

voice!!

Skin?

pale, freckles on his shoulders

Hands?

ratty nail polish, worn and rough from farm work

Make up?

eyeliner!!

Scars?

he has one going across his left hand from a farming accident when he was a kid

Birthmarks?

none

Tattoos?

none, yet

Physical handicaps?

none

Type of clothes?

even back home in virginia, he always dressed like a dirt-poor, punk version of michael monroe

How do they wear their clothes?

he doesn’t wash them much and they’re pretty worn and ratty

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc)

he only owns two pairs of shoes: old black converse high tops and his beloved cowboy boots, which he adorned with bandanas and chains

Race / Ethnicity?

white

Mannerisms?

chews gum a lot, says “uhh” a lot, chainsmokes, drinks a lot

What words or phrases do they overuse?

dude and you guys. he’s been using them since he was a teenager, trying to kick his southern accent

Do they have a catchphrase?

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

he’s so optimistic it hurts

Are they introverted or extroverted?

a little bit of both

Do they ever put on airs?

no, what you see is what you get

What bad habits do they have?

smoking, nail biting, laughing at inappropriate times

What makes them laugh out loud?

he’s a fifth grader at heart and still laughs at 69 and penis jokes

How do they display affection?

he’s really into physical affection, and loves to lean on his friends

Mental handicaps?

he has generalized anxiety and adhd

How competitive are they?

not too competitive

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider?

snap judgements

How do they react to praise?

well. he loves being in the spotlight

How do they react to criticism?

not so well. he gets defensive

What is their greatest fear?

failure and being forgotten

What are their biggest secrets?

no one in his new home knows where he’s from, or any of his backstory

What is their philosophy of life?

live fast, die young, and faith in yourself will get you anything.

When was the last time they cried?

today, probably.

What haunts them?

the past

What are their political views?

he doesn’t care, as long as gas is cheap

What will they stand up for?

his beliefs and rock n’ roll

Who do they quote?

the bands he loves

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy?

both

What is their sinful little habit?

he’s kind of a sex addict, though he’d never admit it

What sense do they most rely on?

hearing

How do they treat people better than them?

well, he has a big authority problem, and he mouths off to people in power

How do they treat people worse than them?

he’s worse off than most anyways

What quality do they most value in a friend?

loyalty

What do they consider an overrated virtue?

celibacy

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

he hates his teeth but he can’t afford to get them fixed

What is their obsession?

music.

What are their pet peeves?

posers and people who shove their own virtues and morals down his throat

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of?

big. his mom, dad, six siblings, and grandparents all live together on a small farm in the appalachia

What is their perception of family?

it feels like a prison to him

Do they have siblings? Older or younger?

he’s the second oldest

Describe their best friend.

he doesn’t have one, or any friends back home

Do they have any pets?

hunting dogs and all of the farm animals

Who are their natural allies?

his fellow rockers

Who are their surprising allies?

the nice old woman who lives down the road from him, and offers to help him get out of virginia

What was your character like as a baby? As a child?

as a kid, he was always a little bit of a wild child, and struggled in school

Did they grow up rich or poor?

poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected?

some of both

What is the most offensive thing they ever said?

he’s said a lot

What is their greatest achievement?

he doesn’t feel like he has one yet

What was their first kiss like?

good as hell, with an older girl. he was 14. she gave him a hand job too, and thus began his obsession with sex

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved?

left his family and took the money with him

What are their ambitions?

he aches for fame, for recognition, and for being known. he wants to see his name in lights, to have thousands of people screaming his name.

What advice would they give their younger self?

don’t back down

What smells remind them of their childhood?

bread baking, apple pie, hay, bonfire smoke

What was their childhood ambition?

from the first time he heard led zeppelin at age seven, he knew what he wanted to be

What is their best childhood memory?

lighting hay bales on fire when he was 16, just for the hell of it

What is their worst childhood memory?

his mother telling him he’d never amount to anything

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend?

yes, because he had no real friends

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment?

when the local preacher told him he couldn’t sing in the church choir anymore because he had a “terrible voice”

What past act are they most ashamed of?

taking his family’s only backup money

What past act are they most proud of?

having the courage to leave

Has anyone ever saved their life?

not yet

Strongest childhood memory?

grandma telling him that he would fly one day—he still believes it

Do they believe in love at first sight?

Are they in a relationship?

How do they behave in a relationship?

horribly. he’s terrible at dating

When did you character last have sex?

today, twice already

What sort of sex do they have?

he likes it rough and passionate, quick and dirty

Has your character ever been in love?

Have they ever had their heart broken?

How do they respond to a threat?

he goes in swinging

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?

fists

What is your character’s kryptonite?

sex

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be?

his songwriting notebook or his cowboy boots

How do they perceive strangers?

he trusts easily and likes to assume the best about people

What do they love to hate?

the pmrc

What are their phobias?

spiders and confinement

What is their choice of weapon?

switchblade

What living person do they most despise?

any authority figure

Have they ever been bullied or teased?

yes, a lot

Where do they go when they’re angry?

anywhere away from people

Who are their enemies and why?

he doesn’t really have any

What is their current job?

working at a farmer’s market

What do they think about their current job?

he hates it

What are some of their past jobs?

this is his first, and he’s had it for three years

What are their hobbies?

music and sex

Educational background?

high school dropout

Intelligence level?

he’s got street smarts, and common sense

Do they have any specialist training?

Do they have a natural talent for something?

music

Do they play a sport? Are they any good?

What is their socioeconomic status?

lower class

What is their favourite animal?

he loves dogs

Which animal to they dislike the most?

spiders

What place would they most like to visit?

hollywood. he wants to live there more than anything

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?

the neon lights of LA on his neighbor’s tv screen

What is their favourite song?

he loves so many, but right now he really likes danger by mötley crüe, which just came out

Music, art, reading preferred?

music

What is their favourite colour?

black

Favourite food?

anything

What is their favourite day of the week?

friday and saturday

What is in their fridge:

not much.

What is on their bedside table?

alarm clock radio, pack of cigarattes, pack of gum, pen, sunglasses

What is in their car?

he doesn’t have a car

What is in their bin?

crumpled up sheets of paper, used condoms and wrappers, empty cigarette cartons

What is in their purse or wallet?

ID, a condom, a couple bucks cash

What is in their pockets?

pack of cigarettes, lighter, condom, gum wrappers

What is their most treasured possession?

his cowboy boots and his songwriting notebook

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel?

he doesn’t believe in that stuff

Do they believe in the afterlife?

What are their religious views?

aetheist

What do they think heaven is?

california

What do they think hell is?

where he is now

Are they superstitious?

How would they like to die?

young and fast, something interesting. he believes in the “better to burn out than fade away” philosophy

What is their zodiac sign?

capricorn

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person?

compromising their individuality

What is their view of ‘freedom’?

living the life he feels he was born to live

When did they last lie?

not recently

What’s their view of lying?

he tries to be honest as much as he can

When did they last make a promise?

not recently

Did they keep or break their last promise?

he doesn’t like to make promises because he knows he can’t keep them

What are their eating habits?

he doesn’t eat that much, and he has bad table manners

Do they have any allergies?

Describe their home.

his parents’ home houses him, his six siblings, and his grandparents. eleven people in a small home, and he lives in the attic, alone.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder?

clutter

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning?

sleep til 2

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon?

try to get away from the family

What do they do on a Friday night?

drink until he can’t think straight

What is the soft drink of choice?

coca cola

What is their alcoholic drink of choice?

anything, he doesn’t care

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype?

he’s definitely more of a byronic hero type

Who is their hero?

robert plant

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween?

alice cooper

If they could save one person, who would it be?

himself

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

no one

What is their favourite proverb?

it’s not a proverb, but he lives by the ac/dc line “take a chance while you still got the choice”

What is their greatest extravagance?

everything. he wears makeup and paints his nails, teases his hair and yells at god.

What is their greatest regret?

he doesn’t have one

What is their perception of redemption?

anyone can be redeemed

What would they do if they won the lottery?

spend it on women and wine, probably

Do they believe in happy endings?

always

What is their idea of perfect happiness?

having friends, a band, a small apartment in west hollywood to call home, enough money to get by, and people who understand him

What would they ask a fortune teller?

“am i destined to fall?”

If your character could travel through time, where would they go?

to the wild west

What sport do they excel at?

sex

What sport do they suck at?

all the rest

#i love him #he's my favorite oc ever #i wish i could draw :((#anyways #ocs #also yes i am projecting a lot LEAVE ME ALONE #this is my character i am allowed to project

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

Text

On The Subject of Love

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 3.3k Warning: Tame. A few curse words and mentions of sex. Summary: Becca coaxes Ethan into talking about his experience with love during their visit to Leland Bloom's yacht.

Author’s Note: this took waaaaay too long to write and i’m still not sure i’m happy with it :/ but thank you @aylamwrites for pre-reading and leaving hilarious comments ❤

________________________________________

The drive to Leland Bloom’s yacht was staid, a direct contrast to the glorious sunshine surrounding the bubble of the sedan. Ethan was navigating the unfamiliar route to the private yacht club with extreme disdain. His ego wanted to resolve this case and finally put an end to this petulant competition with Mass Kenmore Hospital. Sitting in the passenger seat of his car was his favorite accomplice, Becca, calmly staring blankly out the window and still so unsure of his feelings towards her.

She knew she riled him up when she went behind his back to seek out the first high-profile patient, influencer Gwenyth Monroe. Though, in her defense, the man wasn’t actively trying to save the Diagnostics Team from the budgetary chopping block. Ethan Ramsey was always so blinded by his pride and ethics - He did the same with their future as well. But, Becca also knew she stepped over the line this morning when she called him a spoiled child in front of Baz and June at Mr. Bloom’s estate. Though she didn't really regret it because someone had to tell him off, the interaction still left a bad taste in her mouth.

Becca wasn’t too sure where they stood - professionally or romantically. The words Ethan spoke not too long ago in the dark of his office rang through her head: I want to know you as you truly are.

That was a few weeks ago. There he was breaking down their simply professional facade once again. It was a constant tug-of-war with him. Some days Ethan would let the wall crumble by letting her in or grabbing her hand, and others where he’d build it higher than before just to keep the force of Becca at bay. She didn’t realize how sweet of a memory the two of them creating his Pictagram account during that late-night research session would become.

He’s such an old man…

Ethan cut through her reverie, “What are you thinking about?”

With her gaze fixed on the passing trees and her mind still half-stuck in her daydream, she responded without further consideration, “Do you really never want to get married?”

Ethan’s brow furrowed at the random intrusion, needing to think before settling on a response. “Are you still stuck on this?”

The two sometimes-lovers spoke briefly about his views on the subject while working on Gwenyth’s case late into the evening. To Becca it was one of the most important questions in building their not-so-subtle budding relationship - she needed to know if Ethan was worth all the… complications. He spoke about how he didn’t believe in soulmates, unconditional love, and his doubts on marriage as an intuition. He never once spoke about his experience with love.

Looking out the window into the cloudless end of summer day, Becca boldly asked, “Haven’t you ever been in love? Wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve dated?”

“Oh god, no,” he scoffed with wide pale blue eyes. “I told you, Rookie, I don’t see the point.”

She rolled her disbelieving brown eyes and let the conversation pause there as they pulled up to the dock.

***

After the yacht set sail the doctors waited around the stern in a restive silence for 45 minutes while Mr. Bloom wrapped up his business meeting. Once safely away from the prying eyes of investors and colleagues in the yacht's master bedroom, Ethan and Becca begin to run tests and scans on the deteriorating businessman.

“Mr. Bloom, can I ask you and Caroline a question?” Becca asked as she drew a few samples of blood. “It has nothing to do with your case. Me and my friend here are debating something,” she nodded her head at Ethan’s general direction.

The patient looked between the two with a devious smile, “Sure, swing.”

Becca quickly peered over at Ethan standing at an expensive gold and glass table with the mobile sonogram machine, his arms crossed and waiting for her to enlighten the room with her inquiry.

She shot him a coy smile before turning back to the worldly man and asking, “How did you know you wanted to get married?”

Ethan stifled a surprising cough. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought she’d ask a complete stranger that.

Mr. Bloom smiled as he instantly recalled every moment he has ever spent with his now-wife.

Closing his eyes he recited, “We’ve been business partners for decades - since college, actually. We were married about 11 years ago. I’ve known her my entire adult life and waited until I was almost 50 to tell her how I really felt.”

His eyes opened and found Caroline sitting in the chair by the large bay window immediately. The two looking adoringly at one another for a few seconds, speaking volumes in the language of love. For a moment Becca’s heart panged with hope that she could have that level of fondness with a man - that unconditional and unencumbered attachment that precedes words.

“My recommendation is to tell the other person you have feelings for them from the get-go. It’ll buy you time together. Its - it’s the most precious thing in the world to be with the one you love most.”

The way Leland Bloom spoke about his wife humanized him - he wasn’t a cut-throat businessman with oligarch-like wealth. He was a man who wanted as much time with his loved one as this world would permit, no matter the cost.

“But how did you know she was the one?” Becca quizzed further.

Mr. Bloom looked at Ethan's awkward form first and then to Becca as he asked, “Have you ever been in love?”

Ethan’s attention was focused on watching the images printing, deeply embarrassed by Becca’s brazen question and wanting no part of the conversation. Feeling everyone’s gaze on him he took in the three expectant stares and exclaimed incredulously, “Wha - Of course I have!”

Becca smiled at the old man, “Yes.”

“Do you remember how it felt?” Leland’s eyes bore into Becca’s begging the memories to surface.

She nodded.

Becca peered over at Ethan for a split second, his eyes meeting hers. She could see the curiosity swirling around his dark blue orbs alongside something else. Feeling ashamed for getting caught staring she bit her lip and tore her eyes away from him before she could even try to pinpoint just what the mystery emotion was.

“It’s like that,” Leland reassured. “But you’re constantly drawn to one another. The simplest and meaningless of tasks make you the happiest. You can sit in the same room in your own little world of silence together. Your heart swells when you look at them.” Like before his eyes flashed over to Caroline. “You’re never bored. And you can rely on them. The most telling sign was that I knew I needed her in my life even before I knew I had feelings for her. The intimacy was an added bonus.”

He smiled up at his wife who now stood close by with an affectionate hand on her husband’s shoulder.

“Would you agree, darling?”

She nodded only for him. “I knew he was my person when he’d stand up for me. He wouldn’t let anyone belittle me or my intelligence. He challenged me to be a better person and comforted me when I needed it. He’s the best partner I could ask for.” Caroline’s body shifted to Becca though her eyes never left Leland’s, “Does that help your debate?”

Becca looked over at Ethan who didn’t have an inkling of amusement in his features. “I think you’ve just proved my point, but I'll give him a few minutes to form a rebuttal,” she winked at the couple.

They shared a pleasant laughter at Ethan’s expense.

“Ok, Mr. Bloom, you’re all set,” Becca beamed as they finished their examination. “We’ll give you a call once we have the results from the lab later today.”

With a nod of his head Mr. Bloom replied, “Good evening, doctors.”

Ethan didn’t say a word as they disembarked the vessel.

“So…” she started, expecting him to begin arguing his case on the disillusion of soulmates.

Ethan wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

The walk back to his sedan was stewing in awkward tension under the afternoon raging heat. More than halfway back to the car Becca had just come to accept the fact that Ethan wasn’t going to engage in their little intellectual tiff when he spoke with a critical eye;

“How many people have you presumably been in love with?”

She certainly didn’t expect that to be his first rebuttal. It almost made Becca drop the medical bag she was holding. Almost.

She simply responded, “Two. You?”

Over her shoulder she saw Ethan walking straight and stoically, eyes fixed ahead. He was ever so expertly guarded and displaying no telling emotions.

“Three, maybe,” he shrugged, not giving it a second thought.

“Maybe?”

“I don’t think teenage relationships could really count as love.”

“So we won’t count it,” Becca agreed with a small nod. “My number stands at 2.”

They made it to the car and Ethan popped the truck for them to put the gear. He fussed with the equipment, taking slightly longer than necessary to make sure the bag with the blood samples were safe and secure. Becca eyed him carefully from the sidelines expectantly.

With a loud thunk of the trunk and eyes glued to the license plate, he hesitated, “One.”

“Tell me about her.” Becca demanded sweetly as she moved to open the passenger side door. “Or I can go first?”

“Please,” he motioned for her to continue as they settled into his sedan.

Becca took a cleansing breath as she buckled herself in for the journey.

“It was my first year of undergrad. His name was Mack.” Becca could almost hear the roll of Ethan’s eyes as she stared out her window. “We dated for a year and broke up because my workload got intense and I couldn't go out much.” She took a pause as she remembered all those meaningful moments that came to define her adult-self. “He was a liberal arts major, really outgoing. He brought me out of my shell and taught me to be the person I am today. I’m really thankful for him, but more grateful that it didn’t work. I loved him, but I know now I definitely wasn’t in love with him. Looking back I don't even know how we would have made anything work.” Becca chuckled to herself. “He works in television now.”

There was a pause before she continued onto the second romantic love she’s ever experienced. Part of her hoped Ethan would jump in with an antidote.

Still, he kept his eyes on the road ahead.

“My last relationship was during med school. He was something else,” Becca continued with a vibrant smile. “We had great chemistry and a good time together.”

The affection in her voice for the nameless man instinctively had Ethan gripping at the wheel just tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. Medical school wasn’t more than two years in her past, still enough time for the exes to find their way back to one another…

“We thought we were supposed to be together because that’s what you’re told as a kid - go to school, find your soulmate, get that good job, get married and have babies. We groomed each other to be all that. But the pressure of trying to be someone’s perfect person was too much. He went to California and I went to Boston. I don’t know what he’s up to today.”

Her smile faltered as she wordlessly recalled the day she and Thomas Miller III walked out of one another’s life for good. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little relieved to know her break up was not amicable.

“Your turn.”

Becca didn’t have the strength to turn and face him, the still-raw memories were playing out against the glass of the rear-view mirror and she couldn’t banish them just yet.

Ethan began to recite his past relationship like a bulleted list, checking off any sort of pertinent information; “It was for nearly 10 months. During medical school. She was gracious and brilliant. We never saw much of each other but when we did we had the most riveting medical debates. It was good fun.”

“That’s it?” Becca questioned in astonishment. Her brows were furrowed as she tried to keep her mouth from hanging open. How could someone look back on their first love with such displeasure? Even if it ended horribly the feeling of being in love is magical... and shouldn’t that in itself be celebrated?

He nodded.

Becca folded her arms across her chest and bit her lip as she pondered his words.

With the slightest scoff Becca boldly concluded, “I don’t think you were in love.”

Ethan was taken aback, clenching his jaw tightly in blatant refusal of conveying his surprise at her account of what happened with his heart while she was still in grade school. “How would you know?” he retorted.

“Because if you were you’d see each other all the time,” she responded simply and with a jovial lightness - like she’d cracked an undefined code. “You’d forgo sleep to spend some time together. You’d talk about your insecurities, your family, your dreams of the future. Not just medicine and cases.”

“You’re romanticising it.”

That one phrase stirred something up deep inside Becca. Who was he to tell her those things didn’t matter in a relationship? Those are the things they talk about and she… she wouldn’t admit to it. With that one romantic phrase they dove back into the quarrel Ethan so desperately didn’t want to be having.

Undeterred by consequences she countered, “How often did you have sex?”

“Excuse me.”

“You heard me,” she challenged.

Ethan let out a long breath of air. They were stuck together for at least another 25 minutes and there wasn’t a single thing he could say to dodge his way out of this one. Although he didn’t like the fact, they both were acutely aware that Rebecca is the only person who could ever ask him an impudent question. She had earned that right that night he crossed the line and they ruined one another in the most pleasurable of ways.

“Once, maybe twice a month, I think.”

“Months!?” Becca practically jumped out of her seat. Her head whipped around to face him.

Ethan hadn’t moved from the upright position and tight grip on the steering wheel she noted when they began their journey back to Edenbrook. The only thing that was running through Becca’s mind as she gawked at the admirable DNA of the man beside her was: How?

“It was a long time ago,” Ethan said, still completely unflappable. “I can’t remember correctly.”

“I was lucky to have sex twice a week.” Gosh, there were so many questions fluttering around Becca’s mind that she just couldn’t find the right words to articulate how unfathomable his confession seemed.

She watched as he raised an eyebrow, “You had other priorities.”

“No,” she stopped him right there with a point of her finger. “I had the same education as you. In between classes, assignments and reading your entire body of work I found time to find time.”

The corner of Ethan’s lip twitched when she mentioned her devotion to his life’s work.

Becca couldn’t believe he dared question her priorities - he read her application, he knows just how diligent and qualified she is.

She wanted to continue arguing but knew it was futile. Instead she asked another innocent question, “How many relationships have you been in since her?”

“Hurm, one,” Ethan grumbled, “Harper.” He paused to look at Becca out the corner of his eye for any sort of reaction. She gave him no ill indications - Her alert brown eyes were on him and brows rose high, awaiting further explanation. The two have had a quick quip on his history with the surgeon, but nothing past hearsay. “We’ve been on and off since residency,” he told her once more. “Now can we stop talking about this?”

Becca conceded, settling back into the shiny black leather. “I can’t believe you dated Harper,” she mused as she played with her seatbelt strap, “You two are so…”

“Different?” Ethan finished for her. “We actually have a lot of the same interests.”

“Intense,” Becca grinned as she finished her train of thought. “But I'm glad you got along.”

“We didn’t.”

If she wasn’t confused by the attendings’ relationship before she sure as hell was now. “Wha- How? You just said you have a lot in common.”

“Having similar interests and getting along are not mutually exclusive, Doctor,” Ethan smirked.

With a slack jaw and eyes trained on him once more, Becca all but demanded, “Explain please.”

“We were two people at the top of our respective classes,” he began. “Medical journal leeches were pitching us again and again. Everyone was pushing us together - a power couple, if you will.”

“The pride of Edenbrook,” she muttered in understanding.

Ethan nodded, “Pretty much.”

“Did Naveen orchestrate your coupling?” she asked. “He loves a good gossip story.”

Ethan shook his head once, “Naveen just wants me to be happy. At that moment he thought she’d make me happy.”

Becca let his words settle amongst them. She shouldn’t feel unsettled by his honesty, yet she did. There were too many comparable variables coming to light today.

Becca chewed on her bottom lip for a few pensive seconds before asking the fated question; “Did you like her?”

As soon as the words fell off her tongue she shut her eyes. She didn't want to see the damage the words could cause, and yet her body craved the answer.

“I had an affinity for her, if that’s what you mean,” he asked but didn’t give her the chance to clarify. “We had the same interests; both of us very career-orientated. Ultimately that’s what got in the way.” He paused for a moment, thinking carefully about his next words. He said them slowly and a decibel quieter than the last, “And that I didn’t have highly romantic feelings for her.” Just then Becca’s eyes shot open, fixed at his loosened grip of the steering wheel. “I still have a lot of respect and admiration for her.”

A small smile crept up on Rebecca. Those words alone held all she needed to know - Harper Emery never was and never will be a contender for Ethan’s heart.

“Then why do it?”

He shrugged as his features settled back into their default stoicism, “It was the right thing to do. If we didn’t… people would spend the rest of our lives forcing us together.”

She cocked an eyebrow, “So your relationship was a PR stunt…?”

“Absolutely not. I’m not a low-life, Becca.” He took pure offense that she thought he would do anything without a saturation of intention. “We tried because it seemed right. It seemed… inevitable... to try.”

“Huh, ok.”

He used her words against her. ‘Inevitable’ was what they were. Does he feel the same way about their relationship that he felt about Harper? Surely he didn’t, but she’d have no way to know. Ethan Ramsey kept pushing her away, and yet years ago he refused to wait and chose to explore those ineludible feelings with someone else.

Was Harper the reason we aren’t together, since he’s done the whole ‘inevitable’ tango before? She speculated.

Ethan’s next comment broke through her trance, “Aside from those disasters called relationships I have spent time with a few other women. You can rest assured I’m not completely incapable of intimacy.”

“I know you’re not a robot, Ethan,” she lamented. I’m happy to be one of those women.

Becca was glad he opened up to her, and for their intimacy all those months ago. Though, the gnawing of how many other women Ethan Ramsey had taken to bed in the days without her or Harper Emery plagued her mind. She wanted to press further but knew not to - she pushed her luck too much for one day.

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