#You probably shouldn't play this game if you don't use Discord
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Okay, so apparently people are now going to be, and I quote, "shooting on sight". While I reblog stuff pretty often, I haven't actually posted anything, so I'm making this post to do two things;
Let people know I'm not a bot (please, I swear I'm not 🥺)
Geek out about PvZ Heroes, because I know I'll probably never give myself another chance for this
If you haven't heard of this specific variant of "mobile game for kids made to squeeze money out of parents pockets", it's a card game in the style of games like Magic and Hearthstone. What sets it apart from other CCGs, however, are a few key factors
Firstly, the game is asymmetrical. Plants and zombies each have their own selection of cards to choose from, access to certain keywords, and different places in turn order;
Zombies play minions first
Plants then play minions and tricks (aka spells)
Zombies are then allowed to play tricks
Finally, a combat phase where all the minions fight each other
Secondly, combat in this game is lane-based. Minions cannot attack minions in other lanes, and need to fight the minion in front of them before damaging the enemy hero's health. Tricks and abilities aren't restricted unless stated otherwise, but minions are locked into the lane that they're played in
There are 5 lanes in total; a relatively mundane "heights" lane to the left, 3 "ground" lanes that can host environments (abilities that only effect the minions within the lane they're played in), and finally a "water" lane that is only accessible to amphibious minions. Everything in this game moves from left to right, such as combat, the activation of abilities, and more
Finally, and it's not a feature worth praising, there is a block mechanic. Whenever a hero is hurt, their block meter will charge. After gaining 8 charges, the attack fully charging the block meter is nullified and the hero gains one of their 4 powers to either hold for later or use immediately for free
What makes this unfair, however, is that attacks charge the block meter randomly; by either 1, 2, or 3 charges. A common scenario is someone gaining a "California roll", which is slang for blocking an attack after 3 hits (3,2,3). It can also sometimes just roll really low, and you end up taking a ton of damage
So with that all out of the way, is the game worth playing?
It depends on what you're looking for and how willing you are to hack in all of the cards, since grinding is practically non-existent. Even if you're hitting max rank every season (a feat that is sadly very possible), you have no real way of gaining the funds necessary to keep buying card packs (outside of watching ads for hours on end)
You 100% do not need good cards to compete on ladder. If you want to play with people who are good at the game and have good decks, however, hacking is the only practical option
Finally, you may be wondering about how the meta of this game looks like? Well, there hasn't been an update since 2019. Technically, there have been bug fixes, but no new content or balance change has been made in over 4 years. PvZ Heroes has been thoroughly researched and tested at this point, but most players still don't have a clue what the meta looks like, so ranked has slowly become very uncompetitive and kind of a joke (more than it already was, anyway)
I decided to make packages for each class to represent which cards are often ran, if not auto-included. These are obviously not all of the cards that are meta, but they are some of each classes best options and are used in a lot of competitive decks. I should note that, while Solar and Crazy are the best plant and zombie classes respectively, the others are a bit more debatable
I also have this post on Reddit that you can check out if you want to know which decks are considered competitive. The majority of them are either listed on a public database and/or are made by well-known top players. The exact lists are subject to change, but it's not often that I remove or add any decks
Tl;dr: I'm not a bot and, in fact, am a huge nerd for a dead children's mobile card game
#plants vs zombies#pvzh#I don't think I've ever made a real post on this account#So that's mostly why I'm making this#important-ish?#By the way#You probably shouldn't play this game if you don't use Discord#Unless you genuinely don't care to play against good players#Or be competitive at all#Which is 100% valid btw#If I wasn't a huge nerd I'd just play garbage on ladder all day like everyone else too
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ch. 15 ⤍ you can't see me
"hii everybody!" you greeted the stream once you started.
user1 are u gonna address the tweets?
"what tweets? i haven't done anything recently" you asked confused.
user2 abt u & kazuha?
"i literally told y'all we were dating" you rolled your eyes playfully.
user3 wait y'all actually are???
"yes. i don't know why y'all thought i was lying"
"by the way chat, kazuha sent me behind the scenes of her photoshoot" you showed your phone screen to the camera before quickly moving it away.
"haha. y'all can't see, my eyes only."
user4 that's not fair you're supposed to be one of us
user5 SHARE THE PICS
"i have girlfriend privileges" you smirked, "therefore, since she only sent them to me, i'll keep them to myself"
user6 is this u confirming the dating rumors???
"okay maybe we're not actually dating" you admitted, "but we will be soon"
you were about to say more, but you were cut off by kazuha suddenly joining the discord call. "y/n, are you ready for horror games?"
"listen i know we had horror games planned today, but my pc will just not open the damn game" you tried to make an excuse.
"did you try clicking the start button?"
"yeah, that's my problem; it just won't click"
"are you trying to get out of this right now?"
"no, of course not" you said in a unconvincing tone.
"come on y/n it'll be fun"
"i don't know if i trust you enough to play a horror game with"
"what'd i do?" kazuha chuckled.
"you're a professional thrower; you'll probably lead me to my death" you replied.
"i would never"
"when we played that super bunny man game together you kept kicking me into oblivion"
"it wasn't on purpose" kazuha tried to defend herself.
"i swear you evilly laughed at one point" you said.
"i never did that"
you eventually got on the game after a lot of reassuring from kazuha that she would protect you.
you two went through the first floor with no problems and moved onto the second one quickly. but as soon as you stepped out of the elevator for the second floor, you already knew it wouldn't be as easy.
as you continued to wander around the place, you heard some noises and immediately found a spot to hide. kazuha was looking around for clues when she noticed you weren't beside her anymore.
"y/n where are you?" kazuha asked as she moved her character around the dark room.
"hiding" you replied.
kazuha busted out laughing when she saw your character crouched in a corner with your back facing her.
"get up, we have to find information about the ghost" she told you once she got done laughing.
"you can do that alone. i'll be fine in this corner." you moved your mouse from left to right, making your character shake its head.
"you'll be fine. i'll be right beside you" kazuha tried to coax you into coming out of your hiding place.
you turned around slowly, letting go of your crouch button before walking over to kazuha.
"i'm putting my trust in you"
you definitely shouldn't have because the first opportunity kazuha had she let you walk into a room first before closing the door behind you.
"literally locked me in a room and told me to figure it out myself" you sighed as you looked on the shelves for the item you were supposed to find.
"what's it looking like in there?" kazuha asked from outside of the room.
"just some books-" you stopped talking to let out a loud scream making kazuha bust out laughing.
you turned your character around and went to the door to try and open it, "kazuha get me the fuck out of here"
"did you find what we need?" she asked.
"no. but you better open this door right now before that motherfucker comes back"
"okay okay" kazuha said between laughs and opened the door before entering.
"you actually fucking set me up" you swung the item in your hand at kazuha's character.
"sorry sorry. it was worth"
"i bet it was" you rolled your eyes already thinking of ways for revenge in your head.
"should we go in that room?" you asked kazuha who agreed hesitantly.
"you go first" when you said that, kazuha's character looked back and forth between you and the door before shaking her head no. you laughed at the action.
"but you're closer; you might as well just go in right now" kazuha said.
"and risk you locking me in again, hell no"
"that was a one-time thing, i promise, and how do i know you won't do that to me"
"then you deserve it" you stated.
"i said sorry" kazuha pouted in response.
"i don't know why you wanted to play this game so bad; you're even worse than me"
"i like watching you get scared" kazuha admitted.
"of course you do" you decided to take one for the team and open the door before going inside, immediately looking behind you to make sure kazuha was following you and not locking you inside again.
kazuha followed you into the dark room looking down at the floor and closing her eyes to avoid any jumpscares. as she was doing that, the chat began spamming the chat that eunchae was in the room, but of course, she didn't see the warnings.
"hey zuha" eunchae walks into kazuha's scaring the absolute shit out of her as she screams and curls into her chair.
"eunchae!" kazuha moves her out of her face to give her a deadpanned look.
"y/n wanted me to check on you and make sure you're alright" eunchae replied through some laughter.
"well as you can see" kazuha gestured to herself and then the game on the screen, "i'm not"
once eunchae left the room still laughing, kazuha turned back around to face the screen again. "that was so messed up" kazuha told her chat.
"eunchae just came in my room and scared the shit out of me" kazuha told you once she calmed down.
"oh she did it; i need to see the clip!" you exclaimed.
"you set that up" kazuha looked at her camera in disbelief at your actions.
"you literally lead me to every single jumpscare. i think it was well deserved"
later on in the game, you and kazuha decided to focus on the actual purpose of the game, collecting items. you were following her mindlessly, trusting her completely since she seemed so confident about where the next item was.
"when you said you were taking me out on a date, i didn't think this is what you meant" you said as you nervously moved your character down the hallway.
"is this not romantic enough for you" kazuha joked.
user1 so we just gon' speed past that like y/n didn't just say what she just said
user2 they're going on actual dates. i was here!
once kazuha turned the corner, she let out a loud scream before turning back around and walking back toward you.
"kazuha is a literal dolphin when she screams" you mentioned to your chat.
"we gotta go" kazuha rushed out, sprinting away.
you said nothing following after her as she ran back to the start.
"what was it?" you asked once you returned to a safe place.
"the weird fucking stick thing" kazuha told you.
"oh okay" you nodded your head.
you two waited for the noises to stop before planning how you two would get the next item. after the plan was finalized, you waited a little before going back outside.
"i think we're good to go now" kazuha told you.
you opened the door first, taking a couple of steps out of the room before the creature jumped out of the vents right in front of you. the jumpscare made you jump away and off your chair, hitting a drink on your table on the way down, making a loud noise.
kazuha heard the whole thing happened, and once she sobered up from laughing, she immediately worried for you.
"y/n are you okay?" you groaned as you tried to recover from the jumpscare and your desk breaking.
"y/n...?" she repeated.
"i hate this game" you mumbled into your mic.
"are you okay?" she asked once you responded.
"i spilled my drink on my keyboard; i hate it here"
once you finally recovered, you grabbed some cleaning supplies to clean up your desk and keyboard. after you finished, you closed the game with the excuse that it closed while cleaning the keyboard.
"so that seems like enough for tonight" you tried to end as you sat back down.
"we go again tomorrow"
"you can go again tomorrow. i will be playing a peaceful game tomorrow" you said.
"i'll make you play a horror game again someday" kazuha said.
"yeah totally" you agreed while shaking your head at the camera.
"i'll call you later though" kazuha told you.
"today or...?"
"tonight"
"oh-okay, talk later" you shyly said before leaving the call.
user1 Y/N JUST GOT SO SHY KEKW
user2 I'VE NEVER SEEN U LIKE THIS 😭
"anyways..." you tried to change the topic before chat said more, "i will never in my life confide to peer pressure ever again, especially from chat"
user1 so horror game tmrw right?
"hell no i'm never playing anything remotely horror ever again"
"stardew valley sounds nice"
user HORROR HORROR HORROR
k_a_z_u_h_a__ HORROR HORROR HORROR
"aren't you streaming? get out of here"
k_a_z_u_h_a__ i ended already
"and i'm trying to do the same thing so stop encouraging my chat to be like you"
k_a_z_u_h_a__ give the ppl what they want!
"i don't even know why you wanna play more; you screamed louder and more than me" you said.
k_a_z_u_h_a__ i wanna watch u play
"you can watch me play any other game. why does it have to be horror?"
k_a_z_u_h_a__ more fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"i'm not putting myself through more trauma for your entertainment"
k_a_z_u_h_a__ but the content...
"no. i'm getting off now so no more suggestions"
"anyways, i'm ending now! i'll be streaming tomorrow with some friends so I'll see yall then!" you waved bye to the stream before ending it.
ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!
long-awaited update. my only excuse is college events & just college period 😭. i'll try & update more often now though!
#gxg#ive#kazuha x reader#le sserafim x reader#kpop#kpopidol#kazuha#nakamura kazuha x reader#nakamura kazuha
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𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍!𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎;
╰┈➤ ❝ 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚗. ❞
𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: connie x f!reader
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: mdni!! smut!! a teensy bit of angst!! voyeurism/exhibitionism!!
𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: friends to fwb (kind of?), consensual coercion, heavy on the voyeurism/exhibitionism, unprotected sex, creampie, dick riding, oral (m), connie + eren + jean are on a discord call, poor jean that's all i'm gonna say, open ending, stylized lowercase
𝚠𝚌: 3.3k
𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍!
connie had no sense of time. it was evident when you first arrived at his apartment, letting yourself in after he shouted for you from his bedroom. of course the motherfucker couldn't even answer the door -- he was in the middle of some game, those dumb little cat-ear headphones snug over his head.
"i'm in a ranked match, so we can head out after i'm done."
as if he didn't beg you to get lunch with him just an hour earlier.
but you rolled your eyes, flopping back onto his bed with your phone in your hand. you could read something while he finished up, right?
... except, connie was obnoxiously loud. cursing when he got shot at, barking call-outs, cheering when his team would score a point. you quickly deduced he was playing with some guy named porco, since he yelled at him by name. you also deduced this "one game" would last quite a while.
as annoyed as you were with your friend, you caught yourself watching his back as he played. connie sat hunched up in the gaming chair, his shoulders and arms exposed beneath the lazy tank top he probably slept in. while his fingers clacked and clicked away, obviously stressed by the pixels before him, the muscles across his back flexed and his arms tensed.
sure, you were good friends, but you weren't blind.
you also weren't very patient. and, perhaps, there was a bit of a devious streak in you, only spurred on by how connie barked back at the dueling voices in his headset when you first arrived: "yeah, she's here, we're grabbing food after this game... no, eren, i'm not telling her you said that... fuck off, porky, i'm not answering that, either."
your hand on his shoulder startled him, but he only flicked a curious glance at you before returning to his game. the sneakiest grin grew over his face when both your hands began to smooth across his shoulders. "what're you doing?" connie whispered, as if it could really stay between you two when the mic was right next to his fucking mouth.
"don't worry 'bout it, keep playing."
connie tensed, but couldn't quite follow your instructions, curiosity stealing his focus. you eased over his shoulders, down his chest, then back up again, raking your nails across any exposed skin and eliciting a wave of goosebumps. he shivered involuntarily under your care.
this was strange behavior, different than the casual flirting you'd shoot back and forth with nothing behind it but a meek little flame in your bellies.
someone asked him something, pulling him from that little silent stupor you stuck him in. "huh? yeah, i'm here," he replied, only slightly tripping over himself. but you grinned behind him.
"keep your mic on, m'kay?"
he tilted his head, blinking up at you, and god, connie springer had never looked more like a deer in headlights. it was unusual, so different from the almost obnoxious charm that exuded from him any other time. he licked his lips. "m'kay."
fuck, he shouldn't have agreed to that. connie gnawed at his bottom lip, securing a sore spot that he'd whine about later, and held his breath. nothing on the screen made sense anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to care about it as he peered down, stomach in knots. your hands smoothed over his thighs, toned and tense trapped in a pair of gym shorts that used to be loose. the growing bulge inches from your fingers changed that very quickly.
you leaned down, almost coming cheek to cheek with your friend as you groped at him. from this new positioning you could hear the voices in his ears.
"connie, dude, the fuck are you doing?"
"quit throwing and play the fucking game."
you could almost laugh, watching connie clack against the keyboard and guide his character around like a lost child. "keep talking," you smoothed, ghosting over his hardening dick with just your fingertips. he heaved a breath and stretched himself out in the chair.
"sorry guys, guess i'm kinda... distracted."
and a low 'oooh' resonated through the headphones, eren singing your name in a playground taunt. "what, is she naked or something? you can go on your little date when we're done."
"connie has a naked girl in his room?" came a voice you didn't recognize -- porky? porco?
"like that would ever happen. he fucking wishes," jean chuckled, and you had to bite back your own giggle as you wrapped your fingers around his meat, grasping him firmly through the shorts. oh, the irony. connie's hips eased upward, searching for more contact with a low groan, one that leaked right from his chest.
a second of silence filled the discord call.
"oh, shit?"
"the fuck was that?"
you squeezed, connie's dick twitching in your firm grasp. a small kiss graced his cheekbone. "c-can you guys cover me? i need some water." and with that, he slid the headphones around his neck, shooting you a look you couldn't quite decipher. puzzled, excited, maybe a mix of both. his arms fell onto the rests on his chair, body laid back and open. "what are you doing?" he asked again, his body easily contradicting his words.
the game was forgotten by him, but one more glance at the screen showed three other characters crouching over and over in front of connie's avatar, nestled into a corner. you snorted at them but turned your attention back to connie.
"what?" simple, coy. it drove him crazy.
but he jumped when you started kneading him, squeezing from the base, slowly working up to where you could feel the ridge of his dickhead. he hissed, eyes squeezing shut.
"you can't just do that."
"do what, con?"
"fuckin' -- get me hard and act like you didn't do anything!"
you couldn't hide the next round of giggles that bubbled up, watching him grow even more flustered as you squeezed his tip.
"you're just gonna announce to all your friends that i got you hard?"
connie froze, glancing at the screen once again -- the game was over, but his discord was being blown up, messages pinging away and little lights indicating that everyone was indeed talking in the voice chat. "fuck." he muttered. before he could reach for either the mouse or his headset, you stole his hand, holding it captive, and he blinked up at you over his shoulder.
"keep it on, m'kay?"
whatever had gotten into you, connie couldn't bring himself to question it too much, not when you breezed around to his front, taking up the space between him and his desktop. certainly not when you dropped to your knees and gazed up at him expectantly through thick lashes.
"fuck, is this happening?" slipped out from a quickly drying mouth. it's not like he'd never thought about it -- about you -- before.
sure, you were good friends, but he wasn't blind.
you didn't answer, at least not verbally; instead choosing to paw at his waistband and smile your most convincingly innocent smile.
"fuck. yeah, alright, yeah," connie lifted himself to pull the fabric down, but stopped just short of exposing himself, just the tiniest peek of his shaft visible before you. "only if you're sure, though. like, really sure."
and you cooed, pressing your cheek against his knee. "that's cute, con, but i'm pretty sure i want your dick in my mouth right now."
jean literally couldn't believe what he was hearing. this had to be some weird prank, some scheme you and connie had cooked up together to throw everyone off. porco made a sound of disgust before logging off, griping about not wanting to hear connie bust in his pants, leaving the two brunettes to sit in a moment of awed quiet.
"eren?"
"yeah?"
"what the fuck?"
"dude, i'm just as lost as y--"
"oh, fuck," connie breathed, cutting eren off. in his room, in his chair, he hissed, gripping the armrests to avoid grabbing at your head between his legs. your tongue slid up the bottom of his thick shaft in a wide stripe, flicking into little kitten licks across the silky smooth head. "christ," he groaned your name, watching you suck him in with a laser focus gaze, "that's-- that's fucking good, shit."
jean sputtered on the other end of the call. staring at the monitor, he felt his chest tighten, felt his face heat up. why was he still there? why was eren still there? prank or not, it felt wrong to be sitting in, listening to connie lose his cool over a fucking discord voice chat. eren, on the other hand, hissed into the mic, "ain't no fuckin' way."
it felt ridiculous, it felt dirty, but neither of them logged off. they sat back in their respective chairs, dumbfounded and conflicted as their friend crumbled into dust for a few more minutes, until some shuffling startled them out of their stupor.
"what-- you wan-- are you sure?"
connie. he muttered, stumbled, clearly caught off guard by the whole situation and whatever was happening before him. he'd pulled some elaborate schemes before, but he was never a good actor. this had to be real.
"don't i feel sure?"
you. fuck, it was definitely you, but your voice held some silken quality neither jean nor eren had witnessed before.
"shit, you're so wet," connie grunted, followed by more shuffling through the mic -- eren was on the edge of his seat, jean, on the other hand, felt frozen in place -- "just from sucking me off? fuck, how long you been plannin' this?"
you giggled gently, sounding much closer than before. "doesn't matter. you gonna let me ride you, con?"
"i-- yes, i mean, i want you to -- really want you to, but, uh-- don't think i have a condom."
jean found himself hoping. praying. wishing for something he never thought he'd be stuck wishing for: just say no. the odd mix of heartbreak and arousal left the brunette extremely confused, half hard, and molded to his chair.
"i mean... you could always pull out," you chirped, sounding all too eager for jean's liking, "or not... i'm on birth control, so..."
and eren piped up, taking on some sports announcer role in this fucked up situation the four of you were in. "shit, she's gonna let him hit it raw? goddamn."
jean didn't say anything. not when eren spoke, sounding much too blasé about listening to his friends fuck, and not when connie replied to you, voice laced with what he could pinpoint as a cocktail of nerves and excitement. "y-yeah, okay, shit. take these off."
eren couldn't care less about how awkward it should've been anymore. he sat back, wireless headphones perched perfectly, and palmed himself through his sweats, letting his eyes slide shut to play out his own concoction of fantasy.
connie chuckled in disbelief, working a finger through your slick folds. "all for me?" he teased. you rolled your eyes, smirking, and threw a leg over his lap to straddle his lap. "you promise you're not gonna bust right away?" you teased back. he held that charming grin you'd always admired as his hands found your hips, steadying you, letting you grip his cock and swipe it between your puffy lips. the impossibly soft skin of his dickhead felt like heaven over your swollen clit. "sorry, babe, i don't make promises i can't keep."
and you wanted to laugh, but instead, an unchecked moan pushed out of your chest, caught completely off guard by connie maneuvering his hips to rut up into you. "jesus, con," you breathed, watching the wild look in his eye below you. his cock slipped in with little resistance, sending a shockwave of pleasure rippling up your core. you saw it on his face, too, that grin melting into a pinched expression as his hands gripped you tighter.
"do you know how long i've wanted to fuck you?" he lifted you up a bit just to push back in, slapping your skin together and making you gasp.
on the other end, eren cursed under his breath. he freed his cock, not even bothering to take his sweats all the way off, and started to stroke himself, tuning in to the moans that began to pour out of your mouth. he could hear the squelching, the creamy sound of your pussy being pounded into -- over connie's heavy breaths, he could hear your velvet voice, shaky from exertion, "think of me when you jack off? think 'bout me bouncing on your cock like this, hm?"
fuck, you had a dirty mouth. jean, with a hot face, neck, chest, slowly squeezed at his hard on that began to throb with your words. maybe if he could ignore the fact that you chose to fuck connie, of all people, this could help him -- help him get off, yeah, but mostly help him over these stupid fucking feelings he's held on to for way too long. maybe this could be some twisted form of therapy... listening to you moan, stuffed with someone else's dick.
or maybe his twitching cock was just making excuses.
either way, jean reached into his waistband and slammed his eyes shut.
you were reeling. connie fucked up into you like yours was the last pussy he'd ever experience, jaw clenched as he worked. the positioning was slightly awkward, leaned back in his chair, but he did most of the work for you, gripping your ass and rocking you up and down his curved shaft. a particularly deep stroke sparked fire on your tongue, silky words slipping past a rather lewd whine that forced its way out of your chest. "y'like your friends listening when you fuck me?" and connie groaned, so deep and grumbly it felt almost foreign coming from him. "who is it? who's listening, connie?"
"eren, 'n jean -- fuck--"
your hands caught his shoulders, holding yourself down and flush against his pelvis, despite how desperately he tried to hump into you again.
"you think they're getting off, listening to me ride your dick?"
and connie pried his eyes open, catching your heavy gaze with his own. you were getting off on this. and some part of him was, too, though it was mostly shrouded by some masculine sense of pride. "they want you-- the guys. they all want you," he gripped your ass, squeezing and kneading and rocking you back and forth in a scooting motion, nudging his cockhead against your walls deep inside, "but they don't get to fuck you like this."
jean squeezed his leaking dick, jaw clenched impossibly tight. you fucking knew, and for some reason, it made his balls ache even more. maybe he was a masochist, or maybe he was just stupid and in love, with an extreme emphasis on the stupid part. your moaning and gasping picked up again, punctuated by curse words and 'please's and it was all so much, so so much to take in, but jean drank it up, savoring those sounds like a promise as his shameful orgasm built up in his core.
"want you t'cum in me," you gasped, leaning in to press your forehead against connie's, slicked in a light sheen of sweat.
"yeah?" he coaxed, the words accelerating his approaching demise to a breakneck speed, "fuckin' take me, take my cock-- y'want my cum, baby?"
and you cried, pleaded, seeming to come undone as the lewd sounds only came faster, harder, connie's breath heavy in the mic. you let out a desperate string of curses, incoherent words pushed together like alphabet soup.
"please, please, fuck-- fuck me, cum in me--"
eren lost it then and there, uttering a quiet "oh fuck" before spilling onto his tummy, his chest, making a mess of himself in his gaming chair. he never thought the sweet girl he'd known you to be would have such filthy interests, but it reduced him to a sweaty, sticky mess in much less time than he'd ever willingly admit. the utterance startled jean who, until then, had been lost in his own little world of contemplation and raw arousal.
your sounds quieted -- all sounds from connie's end of the call fell muffled, including the groaning and panting that signaled his own release, presumably, inside your pulsing cunt.
jean fell in last place; his mind scurried to replay your cries and whimpers to help push him over the edge -- a pathetic, lonely edge that offered a few bursts of serotonin as his muscles clenched and released a white hot slick that dribbled down his hand. the endorphins were short-lived, however, being beaten and buried in the ground with the sound of eren clearing his throat.
"... bro?" he whispered.
jean groaned, knocking his head back in defeat. he screwed his eyes shut as relative silence fell over the chat.
"don't. don't fucking say anything."
chest heaving, you stared down at connie, drinking in that dumbstruck look on his face with admiration. those little cat-ear headphones laid on the floor next to your discarded panties. "i can't believe i fucked you in cat ears." you panted, breaking into a grin that matched his, and he chuckled.
"i can't believe you came first. jesus christ, i was fuckin' struggling."
you dismounted him, legs wobbly and throat dry. "connie springer, a one pump chump?" you played and bent to collect the clothes from the floor. connie, winded, simply melted further into his chair and scrubbed a hand down his face. "well, you're fucking hot, okay? and i don't usually have an... audience..."
you both peered down at the headset. then back to the monitor. everyone had logged off, leaving connie all alone, save for the handful of messages scrawled across the screen.
"d'ya think they'll be mad?"
"nah. well, maybe porco, he's kind of a try-hard--"
you smacked his shoulder, scrunching your face in mock anger. "not the game, idiot. i meant about the... fucking."
connie looked thoughtful for a moment, then waved a hand in dismissal, like shooing away an annoying fly. "i dunno when they left, but if they heard anything, that's on them." you hummed at his response, shimmying into your shorts without underwear. lunch would have to wait until you got home to change. "besides, i was serious 'bout what i said. they probably got off to that shit. i mean, fuck, where'd all that dirty talk come from?" you smacked him again, face feeling hot under his snickering.
"shut up."
"you just begged me to cum in you, you can't tell me to shut up."
"do you want food or not, asshole?"
whatever would happen between you, eren, and jean was something to deal with another day -- for now, you could only revel in the fact that you'd finally fucked one of your best friends, and it wasn't weird. he teased you all the way down to your car, but that wasn't new. the only thing that felt different, besides the soreness aching in your core, was how connie laid a warm hand over your thigh as you drove, singing along with you to whatever pop song poured out of your radio.
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Vegas Lights!
[3000+] words
pairing// kiribaku x black fem! reader (ft. platonic bakusquad!)
content// swearing, friends to lovers, confession, (slight) momentary angst, fluff, first kiss
[things get a little complicated when mina decides to rope you into her game of cupid]
[a/n] kiribaku brainrot.
˗ˏˋ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ´ˎ˗
"[Y/N]!"
the excited voices of sero and kaminari filled your ears as you finally—after two hours of mina's begging—hopped on the 'bakusquad bitch club' discord call
"hey guys. . ." your sleep-ridden eyes lazily glanced around at the pixelated images of your friends.
mina's image held an annoyed expression, brows furrowed, "took you long enough!" she yells, the picture lagging behind the sound some
still tired, you reply,"i will leave right now, don't play"
the look on her face changed, as she appeared to back off a bit. "i don't know why you're so mad at her, bakugou's late too" sero yawns, stretching himself over his chair
jiro snorts, "he's probably asleep"
"right!" kaminari adds, "him and that early ass bed time"
"why'd you call us here anyway? we have school in the morning" even through the screen, sero's yawn reached you—infecting you as you spoke
"because!" the alien girl's eyes drift away from the camera for a moment, a wide smile on her face
waking up a tad, you cross your arms, "i'm not liking that look"
"me either" jiro toys with her choker, looking at—presumably, you
suddenly feeling rejuvenated, you look around again to find kirishima blankly staring at his monitor.
somehow you completely missed the redhead whilst doing your headcount
"you okay, red?" you ask, a teasing tone in your voice, "huh? yeah—yeah, sorry!"
he laughs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. the entire call went painfully silent after this, glancing around at anywhere but their cameras
clearing his throat, sero gets out his phone and begins typing away,
"bro we're right here, who are you texting?" kaminari complains
"candace"
"oh? who's candace?" the blonde raises a brow
you sigh, knowing what's about to come next; you or your friends not making any attempt to stop it
"can these nuts fit in your mouth?!" now cackling, sero launches himself off his gaming chair and onto his bed, leaving it spinning in his absence
gnawing at his bottom lip, kaminari avoids virtual eye contact, "good one, dude"
"bro holding back tears right now" you join sero in his fit of laughter
"oh look, bakugou's here!" kaminari exclaims, getting the attention of everyone on the call
sure enough, there's the crimson-eyed boy—pale skin and all—being weirdly lax
"you're being uncharacteristically cool right now, kaachan" you point out, simply wanting an excuse to tease him a little
"i'm always cool, you loser!"
"sure, katsudon. . ."
he only huffs, even at the use of that nickname; it was certainly a development you were not expecting
"alright, spill" you glance down at the image of mina, still smiling widely
"i had a great idea!"
you begin shaking your head, already prepared to decline whatever she was proposing
"it's been a rough week, so i was thinking we should get out of the dorm—"
"no"
[. . .]
odd.
you remember saying 'no', yet here you are getting ready to sneak out of the dorms
admittedly, you were kind of impressed at how persuasive mina can be—hell, even bakugou resigned to his fate
well, maybe you shouldn't complain too much; you always end up having fun on these excursions
you just wish she was better about planning them in advance
that's all i ask, lord
speak of the devil, you thought as a light knock fluttered against your door
"[n/n]"the voice on the other side wasn't mina, surprisingly; it's kirishima
"yeah?"
"can we talk for a sec?"
he had this hint of urgency in his tone that you couldn't help but get concerned about
is he angry with you? is it something i said?
come to think of it, you two haven't spoken much today
cautiously, you make your way over to the door, taking a moment before opening it.
shrinking behind the shield, you looked up at the redhead—he had this unreadable expression on his face.
"actually, can we talk inside?" he asked, avoiding eye contact
you blinked, "sure," before allowing him inside your room.
he sits on the bed; he's performed this action hundreds of times before but this time. . .
the vibes are just off.
you hesitantly join him, looking down at your knees as you fidgeted with your hands
he takes a shaky breath, before looking down at you "[y/n]. . ."
brace yourself,
"do i make you uncomfortable?"
"what? no—kiri, where'd you get that from?"
you were incredulous; where did you ever give him that indication—never, from your knowledge.
"i don't know, it's just. . .i was talking to mina and she said i'm too touchy with you"
it's true, kiri was the touchiest of your friends despite being a guy
he had no shame in asking to hold yours or bakugou’s hands—cuddling when it was cold was on the table, too
with a hum, you place your hand on top of his, and he continues "you and bakugou are the most important people in my life. . .i don't know what i'd do if i was hurting you or making feel uncomfortable"
kirishima really is the most genuine guy you know; how'd he—or bakugou decide they wanted to be friends with me?
"well you don't" intertwining your fingers with his; you stay like this for a moment before his shoulders begin to shake with laughter
wanting to humor him, you smirk, "what's so funny?"
"just thinking about something bakugou said earlier—it's an inside joke"
you can't help but feel childishly upset by that
suddenly, kirishima turns to look at you again, a clear and determined look in his eyes
"i think i really—. . ." he cuts himself off, faltering under your gaze
"what. . .what is it. . .?"
"i. . .really want to keep being friends—even after we graduate"
your tense shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, and you smiled.
"well," he pats your thigh, "mina's waiting on us" he stands to leave and you follow in silence
as you stared at his back, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more he wanted to say
he's your best friend, he'll come to you eventually
here's hoping, anyway
[. . .]
even though the vibes prior were wack, the drive to wherever mina was taking you was pretty much the same as usual
sero and kaminari telling a stupid story and everyone brawling over who gets the aux cord
still, you couldn't help but notice that bakugou was a little different today.
"alright, [n/n]!" mina yells as soon as her chosen song ended, "your turn"
you smirk as you're handed the magical music cord, knowing exactly what to play
'vegas lights'
a song that you forced kirishima and bakugou to listen on repeat whenever you got the chance
during study sessions, at lunch, at the dorms—literally no place was safe
kirshima liked it from the start but bakugou—as always, pretended to hate it
you would catch him mumbling the lyrics though
and so, it became
your song; all three of you
as soon as the drums kicked in, bakugou perked up; he knew exactly what you were doing, shooting a look at you
you turned to him and kirishima, hoping you could all sing together but instead, they were turned towards each other, signing amongst themselves but not with you.
swallowing the lump in your throat, you soon gave into dancing in your seat with mina, whose off-key singing was quick to cheer you up
after the song ended though, it's like you fell back down to earth; it pained you to look over at your best friends
just. . .the way they look at each other
you're once again not given any time to marinate in your feelings as a robotic voice breaks you away from your thoughts
"you have reached your destination"
curious, all of you look out the window to see where the girl had taken you this time
the place—presumably a restaurant was emitting fluorescent lights of all colors, bathing you and your friends in purples and blues
"wendy's rockin' eats. . .?" you read the sign, looking at mina as you finished
"yeah! it's a 60's style diner! it's open all night and there's rooftop seats!"
"sweet" jiro opened the door, and all of you followed her out
the smell of fryer grease welcomed you as you entered.
"welcome! feel free to seat yourself!"
"can we sit on the roof?" mina asks
"sure!" the hostess beams
"alright!" mina squeals, grabbing a few menus and rushing toward the stairs
"this place is pretty cool, huh?" kirishima turns to you, to which you nod, "yeah. . ."
you all quietly say yourselves down at one of the tables, almost entirely silent
that is until people started to look at the menu, "people used to eat like shit in the 60's, damn. . ." sero exhales, eyes widening with every word
mina nods, "right, like: a donut sandwich—though i won't lie, that sounds good" she admits, leaning in as she reads
"i think i'll just get a milkshake" you close the menu,
"ooh! can i share with you?!"
the boy looks at you, starry-eyed; you can't say no to that face, "alright, red"
you look up at bakugou, genuinely beginning to worry about how out of it he's being, "you alright, kaachan?"
"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" he gives you what appears to be a typical 'bakugou reaction', before going right back to being silent
what on earth is he thinking about?
before you could ask him that, sero who had just been (suspiciously) whispering to mina, turned to you "[y/n], why don't you go order for us"
sucking your teeth, you glare playfully at him,"but blm, right?"
"it's not because—okay fine, i'll go with you"
the ink-haired boy begrudgingly lifts himself out of his seat, gesturing for you to follow him. chuckling, you do just that, bounding down the stairs as sero had just challenged you to a race.
you won, obviously.
the two of you awkwardly approached one of the waitresses and placed your orders.
for some reason—perhaps out of laziness, the two of you decided to stay on the lower floor while waiting for your food
you absentmindedly made your way to over to a booth, sitting down with a blank expression
"you okay?" your eyes widened—you forgot you existed for a moment
"huh? yeah of course, it's just. . ."
you stop yourself, glancing up at the look of anticipation on sero's face
it's just sero, what are you hiding from him?
sighing, you allow yourself to be honest for once, "kirishima and bakugou. . .i think. . ."
". . .they have feelings for each other. . . ? and, i'm. . ."
"jealous?"
the boy doesn't let you finish, staring at you with a raised brow; biting your lip, you force out a laugh
"i wouldn't call it that"
"do you prefer envious, then?"
"very funny, but it's not like that—really!" you realize you got a little too defensive, toning it down a bit, "i just. . .i guess i'm just worried that if the two of them were in a romantic relationship. . ."
". . .we wouldn't be friends anymore"
so much for honest.
perhaps you should cut yourself some slack? the friendship you had with the two was far more important to you than any wishful thinking you've been doing for the past two years
but, you couldn't help but feel queasy at the thought of those two dating each other—they'd be perfect, and that's the problem
sero snorts, "see, i understand where you're coming from but it’s not like they're just gonna drop you" the boy leaned in as he spoke, "kirishima never stops talking about you, and you're the only one blasty's actually nice to"
you couldn't help but smile at his words, but eventually that smile faded; you glanced away, lips pressed together
chuckling, the boy continues, "or maybe you're worried you won't be able to be friends with them and not the other way around, huh?"
". . .i stand by my previous statement: you're jealous"
"i am not!" you brought your open palm down on the table
at that very moment, the disrupting ding of a bell cut the conversation short, "order up"
good, you don’t have to defend yourself anymore
"end of story." you huff, not waiting for a response before getting up.
the walk back to your table was dead silent; that is, until you got around halfway up the stairs and noticed that sero was eyeing you
"why are you looking at me like that? i said we're done talking about it!"
"because you're so bad at this"
he had this suspicious smirk on his face, and no matter how much you tried to avoid his gaze, his eyes were eating away at you
and you broke.
"alright! i have feelings for both of them. . .it's. . .always been like this. . ." you admit, scratching the back of your neck
sero hums, eyes lingering on you as he turned to leave; you really didn't like that look on his face
the two of you made it to the roof, but you couldn't help but notice that two people were missing from the seating arrangement
"where'd they run off to?" you ask, not even bothering to hide the whiny tone in your voice
"oh yeah, they had to talk about something important" kaminari says, absentmindedly reaching for his burger
you sighed, ripping the paper casing off your straw and sticking it into the glass
not even the sickeningly sweet shake could lift your mood, if anything it made it insultingly worse
you stopped drinking, leaning back in your chair.
"are you okay, [n/n]?" you look up to find all your friends staring at you worriedly
"it's nothing" you shake your head, and they seem to back off
that is until sero opens his mouth.
"[n/n] has the hots for kirishima and bakugou"
"you son of a bitch!" you shot out of your seat, threatening to jump across the table and attack him
"oh my gosh! we should go tell them!" mina also gets out of her seat, before herding you off in the direction you assume the two went
"no! mina! let me go—"
mina stopped abruptly, and you turned to look ahead
kirishima and bakugou were standing there,
holding hands—yes, they do it all the time but it's different now
it hurts this time.
"[y/n], we have something we want to tell you"
eijirou's eyes bore into you, confident and clear; he's made up his mind
"i knew it!" mina screams, pointing an almost accusatory finger at the pair; jiro got up, only to cover the girl's mouth
you gnawed at your bottom lip, "yeah, me too. . ."
just as you feared; you were going to lose your best friends
you could feel the tears welling up, stinging your eyes; your throat burned.
"we should probably leave you three alone"
"yeah" jiro and sero agree
kaminari, on the other hand. . . "what? but i wanna see this. . . !"
he whines while mina lets out a muffled protest; all of that is in vain, however as they're both dragged out of sight and earshot.
you turn back to the two "that's what you were trying to tell me earlier, huh? that you think you really like bakugou?"
"wait —listen, [y/n]—!"
"i mean—come on kirishima—even when you were alone with me he was still on your mind"
"[y/n], it's not like that it's just—"
"you don't have to defend yourself kirishima; you feel the way you feel, and. . ."
"i'm not upset with you i just. . ."
". . .the truth is. . ."
for a split second you consider just saying it; just telling them the truth, but you don’t—you push your feelings away once again
"i'm being selfish, that's all"
"selfish?" the redhead inquired
"you're both my best friends! and i was worried that if you guys were in a relationship. . ."
why can’t you just be honest?
"you'd forget about me. . ."
you finally dared to make eye contact; they were standing there, seemingly shocked into silence.
sighing, you wiped your eyes with your sleeve, "just. . ." you turn on your heel, "forget i said anything. . . !"
you start to leave, but a very pissed bakugou calls out to you, "if you would stop whining for a fucking second, [l/n]. . . !"
he’s seriously insulting you right now?
he grips your arm, "you'd let us finish!" he forces you to stop walking
kirishima sighs, "this is my fault, i should have just told you earlier like i'd planned"
like telling me earlier would make a difference
"i. . .have feelings for you"
your heart stopped beating for a moment, and your throat dried up
"w-what. . .?"
"me too, or whatever" bakugou admits
"and we also have feelings for each other" kirishima continues
you were bewildered, staring at the two with wide eyes; a worried kirishima backs away from you
"is that weird? you're creeped out, aren't you?"
"no. . .no i feel the same way, i just—"
. . .feel really stupid now if i'm being honest
"you do?!" eijirou's eyes lit up,
"you don’t know how happy that makes me!" suddenly, you're enveloped in his warmth; he's hugging you
effortlessly, kirishima lifts you up, and swiftly,
he kissed you
heat spread from your lips like wildfire, making your vision hazy
"oh—shit, i'm so sorry!"
"it's okay,"
you plant another kiss on his lips, exchanging loving words as you pull away, "i liked it"
if there's one thing katsuki bakugou hates, it's being left out
"hey!" he barked
he shifts his attention to you, "c'mere. . ."
his voice was low and alluring, and before you knew it you were in his arms, sharing a passionate kiss
katsuki's kiss was longer and certainly less sweet than eijirou's
he pulled away with a smirk, before turning to eijirou "you too, shitty hair. . ."
"oh! yeah, sure!"
watching your best friends lock lips felt wrong, almost like you should turn away but fuck was it attractive
as the two broke away, you stammer out, "so. . .does this make us. . . ?"
"goddamn!" before you could finish your question, kaminari's voice was all you could hear
"wait but i thought the plan was for kirishima to ask [y/n]. . . ?" he turned to mina, who was coming out of her hiding spot
plan?
suddenly the events of the entire night began to make sense
"so all of them are together?"
"i guess so, yeah. . .?"
jiro and sero too?
they were all eavesdropping the whole time?
"lucky~" kaminari whines
"hot damn, i'm better than i thought!" mina literally and figuratively pats herself on the back
leave it up to mina to play cupid; although, her meddling worked in your favor for once
you seriously owe her one
#kiribaku x reader#black reader#my hero academia#bakusquad#bakugou x reader#kirishima x reader#anime#fanfic
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re: making friends, oops you're right, i didn't mention that i have friends i love but can't be part of their lives the way they are for each other (practicality reasons of i live far away but hurts all the same). i know there are people out there, nearby, who i can love and be loved by, but trying to find them sucks when id rather spend time with this group of ever-distant but incredibly lovely people. but spending time with them means constantly being a bystander when they talk to each other about things that im not invited to or part of. it's a toss up if i feel at all like part of the group or not after/during an interaction. thus trying to make more friends, but having no interest in them. feeling lonely, useless and like an awful person regardless.
Thank you so much for sharing this context! This helps me understand the disconnect you feel from other people a lot more. You're not an awful person. You're yearning for connections you already have but that aren't close by, and everybody else pales in comparison. I think the best route is probably to split the difference. The intimacy of a close friendship is really renewing, and you shouldn't deny yourself that if you can continue scheduling regular virtual hangs with those friends.
Things like watching movies together on discord, playing games, video chatting, etc -- don't be afraid to ask for it, and don't let your brain tell you that they're so busy with one another and their lives that they don't want to see you. They do. And if you can plan a visit or shared trip with those friends, so much the better. I think it's totally possible to use the energy boost you get from these friendships to help propel you to try new things, and to imagine that you'll find other nice bonds over time in addition to what you have.
Maybe like a 50-50 split of your socializing time? 50% with the old crew, 50% trying to meet new people? Any consistency of new attempts will build up over time. It just really does take a while. People I used to find hard to relate to are some of my closest friends!
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This week has been... something. I know I've done a lot, but I am not really happy myself. I keep getting distracted (I need to stay away from YouTube) and it's been frustrating.
Current Progress:
- English word count: 32.147 (+202)*
- French: ?.
- Recode: 0%
*may go down.
I didn't make as much progress as I would have hoped. The second run to catch the last of the mistakes (still needed, I already found some) tired me more than I thought it would. I am about half-way done with that (can't wait).
I really want to be done with this project for real. I know I still have the translation and to recode, but bleh... I don't know why I thought I'd be done in like... a week. I should have looked into my file before making that end of the year schedule.
Buuuuuut....
I took a much needed break from writing and coded something again. It was nice to do something completely different. This was not even the template I've been wanting to do for ages.
Lil background on this one:
There was an interesting discussion on the Forum about Unstyled Twine Games entries in this year IFComp (aka using the base UI only) and biases towards visuals in the comp entries. It boiled down to: there's an unfair (and probably unconscious) negative bias against unstyled Twine games compared to non-customised games created in other formats. [you should check the discussion, it was interesting]
Anyways, the topic came up in the Twine Discord and we wondered how difficult it would be to make the different Base UI in the other formats (ex: Chapbook in Harlowe, Harlowe in SugarCube, etc...). A lil bit of HTML and CSS magic is all that you need apparently.
THE POINT of this whole story is:
I have a new template out! A One Page Portrait Template (mobile support included). Simple and sleek, reminiscent of the Chapbook basic UI (because it is almost just that). Including 3 themes, font change (incl. Open Dyslexic), and the basic macros like the last one. No external Macros were included. There's also a menu :D
Bringing me to my last item of the week: Chapter 2 is complete. MelS managed to break those missing scenes and make it work! The first round of edits is also complete and I am just waiting for him to send me back the file with all the needed changes before I can code it!
In the meantime, I am fixing a few issues with the code I do have, preparing the code for Chapter 2 and adding the missing assets.
There's like a shit ton on my plate with all I've been wanting to do. EC's update this month is just not happening. I only have one round ready without its ending instead of 3. Even CRWL's progress has been super slow.
Guess what my brain wants to do: participate in the EctoComp (but the French one) this year. With a DL happening in 8 days.
Guess what my brain has done: planned out everything, from the concept to the gameplay, the characters and the actions...
I really shouldn't... but that 4h hour to write/code is so temping... [Bad brain!]
Some TTTT points:
I've been getting a few more reviews for TTTT which is very lovely! That pesky cache bug is still happening. This is such a bummer. I don't know where it could come from or how to fix it (it's not a one browser/extension problem) I hope a post-comp update with extra content could fix that? I've been told that the longer that problematic array is the less probable the bug would happen?
I am very grateful everyone took the time to write a review (positive or negative), give my advices/pointers, and play the game, even if I don't agree with everything written. Some have been A LOT to process, even if they were expected (I knew when I uploaded the game that those would come up). So I made a sheet with all comments points (positive/neutral/negative) to help me make the game even better!
I'm still planning a post-comp post to let everything out :P
#progress#mtp#meeting the parents#template#ttateh#the trials and tribulations of edward harcourt#tttt#the thick table tavern
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I keep meaning to send you those twc asks but I cannot find them!
HOWEVER. Do you want to answer number 2 all across the board, for each ship? :)
I can't find them either, I just keep going back to the link I put in discord ;D But I absolutely WILL answer all of these
We have been told a little about N’s overprotectiveness. What are your detective’s feelings on it?
Leah 'Independence or Death' Kingston gets very frustrated at the idea of being babysat or considered like she can't take care ore herself. She's been looking after herself for most of her life, and even if she now has to worry about supernaturals, she's competent, and she wants to pull her weight. I don't think she quite realises the reason why Nate is so overprotective is that he's more serious about her than any other relationship he's had before - she can't quite conceive (yet) that she means that much to him - but she does understand that it comes from a place of care so she swallows her anger as best she can and tries to be reassuring instead. If he ever tries to lock her in some sort of ivory tower, however, there's going to be Words.
Though this has not been mentioned in a bit, how do you think the detective’s reaction to M’s pheromones will come into play?
Since Rhi is so against having feelings for Mason, she actually finds it reassuring that he can't use them on her without causing her pain. It means he's not manipulating her autonomic responses to get her into bed (which does mean that her feelings for him are entirely her own fault and it infuriates her). But then there's also the moment where he refuses to use pheremones on other people when she's around, because it might hurt her, and that throws her. He's rarely shown any consideration for anyone else, and the fact he would actively make fighting off bad guys harder for himself because of her isn't something she knows how to interpret. I think in the end, once they're deep in the romance, Mason will find it painful if Rhi is in a situation where pheremones wold usually help (like a panic attack or a nightmare), but he can't use them. It means he's going to have to learn other ways of offering comfort, and that's going to be a fun journey for them to go on together.
(and just for fun, the BFF questions) If your detective had a board game night with the team, what is one game your detective would like to play with the others?
Leah would break out the Scrabble board, for sure. Chaos would ensue, first with Felix demanding that Echolian words be accepted, and then Adam would get picky about hyphenisation and slang that "shouldn't be allowed". It would probably end up with a "weirdly intense" (Mason's words) head-to-head between Leah and Nate long after the others have gotten bored, but really, what is competitive wordplay if not flirting for nerds?
Rhi is bringing Catan, complete with expansion packs. She's merciless. Mason prefers to watch her destroy the others than play himself (he likes seeing her so calculating and focused), but the fun really starts once Adam starts losing. He grumbles that the game rules don't reflect how real life military strategy and that that knights should be much more expensive (because Felix ends up with the largest army). Nate spends ages on his turn and doesn't quite get the hang of the trading aspect because he always accepts terrible deals. Rhi and Felix end up teaming up in mutual love of chaos to take down Adam.
#twc#the wayhaven chronicles#nate sewell#agent mason#leah x nate#rhiannon x mason#pchberrytea#ask meme thing
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37 4 and 42!
37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you've known for 10+ years?
There is one friend! :D I met them at the Krabbelgruppe, which is a weekly, voluntary thing where parents meet up and let their toddlers play, so they get to know other kids their age and it'll be easier for them once they enter the Kindergarten, because they're already used to other kids
Anyways, yeah, we've met there and have been staying in contact ever since, which means that we've known each other for roughly 19 years now :D
4. which cryptid being do you believe in?
... I do deity work, I don't think I'm in the right place where I am even allowed to rule out anything slkjdlsk
jokes aside, most cryptids that are based on old folklore and myths,, yknow like faeries and such?
Especially the ones that the Native Americans talk about. Though I will not elaborate on that as you're not supposed to speak of them and I probably shouldn't have this knowledge, but I happened to be 13 with morbid curiousity and unlimited internet access
There are also so many tales from different cultures, that I stumbled upon while looking for inspiration for worldbuilding, about humanoid creatures that lure you into the water either with their beauty, their music or their voice, that at this point I kind of start to doubt that all of it is just a coincidence?
There is a lot that we don't know about this planet and there are many places we haven't gotten even close to fully exploring, I have no idea what can possibly hide there
42. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
Probably whatsapp, discord (both for communication with friends obviously), or instagram, but only because my explore feed is filled with fantasy outfits and accessories and weapons and such, so I spend a lot of time scrolling through it and saving them in those folders, to use as references one day
ask game
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KL's Peasant Cube
April 20, 2024 draft. 4 players, 5 packs of 9.
List: https://cubecobra.com/c/10oz
Another draft fired from the Toronto Cube Community Discord! This time KL was hosting, and we drafted his Peasant Cube. The defining features as he introduced it are:
Narrow powerband
Emphasis on mechanics that incentivize attacking
Availability of sideboard options
The last item in that list is especially interesting. It's something I've done a little, and am being more and more sold on. I'm not good at sideboarding, but I've never played another cube where sideboarding provides such an obvious advantage.
My default is to try for an optimal game 1 build of my deck and make pretty minimal changes between games. When you're building an engine, or just have efficient cards, it can feel like sideboard answers don't have a place. Here though, KL has succeeded in keeping the powerband really tight. The narrow power bands are a cliché, but he's actually delivered on it. One of the drafters commented that it makes the draft uninteresting. I can see that. Compared to a lot of cubes it didn't feel as much like building a specific deck (huge caveat: I think that's also a result of the 4:5:9 draft setup), but if/when I draft this cube again I'll shift my mindset: what will happen if instead of drafting a "deck" I'm drafting a pool with sideboard plans?
On Saturday I drafted a Boros deck with some light +1/+1 counters, equipment, and flicker themes.
KL was not kidding about removal being light. I took almost everything I saw and didn't end up with much. I made the four red spells work for me, but it was tough going. (I also ran Planar Disruption, which was decent, but had sided it out before my last game). I would've killed for a Banishing Light. Vampire's Vengeance was surprisingly useful.
Recruitment Officer and Bola Slinger were huge for me, with Frenzied Goblin doing some work too. Nothing I played felt like it shouldn't have been in the cube, but I did find myself craving equipment that added power and toughness cuz...
This cube might be about power and toughness. The impact of the rules text is light enough that the bodies really, really matter. The vanilla test is crucial.
With the importance of P/T in the context of scarce removal, I think combat tricks could really over perform. Looking at what's available... of course I didn't prioritize them: the rates are rough ...but they're probably more playable than I imagined.
Looking at a couple sample P1P1's, 4/4's and 5/5's look really tempting. Combat tricks don't, but maybe on the wheel.
Stray thoughts:
My favourite thing here is the use of sideboard options to enrich matches. I want my cube to have more of that, and I hope KL keeps leaning into it.
Is 540 the right size for this cube? Is 5 packs of 9 the best way to deliver the target experience with 4 players? When you only see 150 cards players don't have a ton of agency in the draft, and this is probably limiting synergy more than card selection.
Inefficient removal provides a certain texture; it works here. Scarce removal is a different texture, which I'm not sure is intended. This may have just been the 180 cards we had at the table, but at a very rough pass it looks like the ASFAN of removal might be under 1.5, which is pretty tight
Despite the removal, board stalls weren't a big problem in my games, which is great. Attacking is good! Games were brisk, and we finished the draft and round robin in like 3 hours I think, which rules.
I love that Peasant has some board wipes.
Would it be worthwhile to signal that combat tricks are viable? Feather isn't legal here, but maybe something like a Heroic theme? I'm not a fan of Heroic specifically, but something in the card pool that suggests playing tricks. Combat tricks are mentioned in the overview, but I mean signalling it through card selection, within the draft.
Incentives to attack are really fun. Cards that punish blocking are less fun. General Marhault Elsdragon was rightfully called out as a power outlier. It also provides rough play patterns: when you've got a 2/2 facing down a 4/4 trampler, the choice of taking 4 damage or losing your 2/2 and taking 6 isn't an interesting decision (but it does advance the game!)
Thank you so much to KL for hosting and providing the cube, and to everyone for the games. It also spared me from watching a brutal Leafs loss, and I ran into SF on the way home which was a really nice surprise.
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the obligatory "i'm new here" introduction post
Okay, so I had technically made an account several weeks ago, but that was so I could like and save posts that I saw while passing by...
So, uh, I should probably dip my toe in the water and introduce myself formally, shouldn't I...
Howdy! Hi! Hey! I'm BleuBerri, and I'm a (currently) 19yr old straight male who procrastinates a little too hard and also dreams of being a big shot game developer with his own company. I try to be a jack of all trades and a master of none -- which isn't to downplay my skills, but i try to stay humble anyhow -- so I like to dabble in lots of things: art, music, and some other odds and ends. Maybe I might share it here, or maybe I won't. Who knows, really (I sure don't)!
...Uhhhh, let's see, what else should I mention here... Oh yeah!
Okay, so like I said, I'm a game developer, and although I don't really have many finished projects to show for it, believe me when I say that I do develop video games! I grew up with lots of Nintendo games (and I still play them, though I'm trying to branch out nowadays), so I want to recreate the feeling of fun I got from playing them. Perhaps even share my take on fun with other people, and see how they feel about it. I mean, that's mostly why I do what I do, and why I try to build and improve my skills -- with my broad expertise, I might be able to create something special and extraordinary, and share it with the world, even long after I'm gone. A bit of a high goal to reach for a 19-year-old, but hey, I was even younger when I first had the idea, so I already knew I was in over my head. Look, it's a hard world out here, so we've just gotta brighten it up, one smile at a time! We can't win all of our battles, but we still have to try.
Anyway, as you could figure, I love to ramble, so I'll cut it short and leave the rest for you all to find out. I have a YouTube channel under the same name, and I have a Discord, too! If you can't find me under "BleuBerri", then I may be using my company name "NyoBleu". Although, I'm currently trying to sever personal ties under that name, so legalities don't get in the way later. Weird transitional period I'm in, right?
Alright, I'm still terrible at making closing statements, so that's it! Intro over! Stop reading now!
(...okay, so. how do I do that quirky thing with the tags like how everyone else does it..?)
#introduction#is this how tags work#oh that tag already exists? cool#alright i'm done messing with the tags
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notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):
girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes
2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe
ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs
do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...
Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"
"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"
"beginning with him dying"
hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"
"while his turret did the hard work"
"predictably nowhere onscreen"
I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead
attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe
S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)
Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death
Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me
There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead
huniepop lmao
I was still in iPhone Hell
Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing
playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here
Scoutposting but it's overwatch
"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"
Bitch shut UP about Pokémon
Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general
The Sword Art Online hater has logged on
All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad
How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal
Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it
(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)
The Traumadumping,
Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half
Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.
The moment
Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time
girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant
Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines
360 controller sucks send post
It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point
girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior
Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday
Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains
Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment
Not long now
The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived
"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about
September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:
There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone
"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance
Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code
Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill
Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even
Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed
Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely
the wii u woes
And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad
I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again
Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important
Also the day i committed to my new name
More coding failure
Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen
(It didn't. We are alive and together)
You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself
A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary
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Opening up to a friend
· Friend — Today at 11:03 AM
Hey girl, when and where is this art thing?
· I feel like you sent me a flyer, but that was 100,000 years ago
· Me — Today at 11:04 AM
(Location and time information)
· Friend — Today at 11:04 AM
Aight, cool
· And are we meeting there?
· Me — Today at 11:05 AM
was just about to ask if you're down for that or if you want me to pick you up so you can save gas
· Friend — Today at 11:06 AM
Nah, no sense in you driving for 9 hours this evening, we can meet there
· Me — Today at 11:07 AM
ok, I'll probably be there between 7 and 7:30
· Friend — Today at 11:07 AM
Sounds good
· Also, did you just change your discord avatar?
· Me — Today at 11:09 AM
yes, like just now
· Friend — Today at 11:10 AM
I thought so, on my side one message had the old one and the next has the new one
· Me — Today at 11:10 AM
been plugging different formulations into an AI generator
this was the most entertaining one
· Friend — Today at 11:12 AM
Lol
· Friend — Today at 11:37 AM
So how are we going to play the art exhibit?
· Me — Today at 11:38 AM
you be the distraction while i surreptitiously replace the best pieces with counterfeits
· Friend — Today at 11:39 AM
Okay. I'll pose as a prospective buyer representing a wealthy art collector and engage the staff in pointless conversations about the deeper meaning of the pieces we're not interested in stealing
· Me — Today at 11:40 AM
(nod) sounds like a plan
· Friend — Today at 11:40 AM
Do you have a fence or will we need to get in touch with a fixer?
· Me — Today at 11:41 AM
i have a fence, but i haven't dug the post holes yet so it's more like a pile of wood. :p
· Friend — Today at 11:44 AM
Goddess help me. You have to develop the contact before organizing the op
· Me — Today at 11:45 AM
I could also just be acting dumb so that I can steal the art from under your nose and book it to Zihuatanejo.
· Friend — Today at 11:49 AM
1: I think you know better than to double cross me, remember monty? 2: You wouldn't be planning to stay at the safe house I told you about in Zihautanejo would you?
· Me — Today at 11:51 AM
Monty... Monty...I might have Eternal Sunshined him out of my head. And also, pffft, like I wouldn't have my own safe house. But just to be sure we should probably exchange address information and swap keys. Just in case.
· Friend — Today at 12:00 PM
You really should go visit them. Their doctors have rigged up a little device that lets them type out messages. Though they mostly beg to be put out of their misery
· I guess we'll use my fixer. I hate bringing her in on something like this though because she is such an art poser. Just be ready to be bored to death when we meet with her
· Me — Today at 12:06 PM
i live my life that way. Shouldn't be a problem
· Friend — Today at 12:07 PM
But Mothybaby, you are paying me a lot of money to help you get better at being evil, you really should be paying more attention. If you had hired someone less scrupulous they could very easily rob you blind
· Or worse
· Me — Today at 12:08 PM
is that what's been happening to my bank account? Here I was thinking Filipino teens were just scamming me.
· Friend — Today at 12:10 PM
Marialos works for me, though likely not for much longer
· So I guess it's both?
· They're too careless. I told them to ship you boxes so you wouldn't catch on for at least a month or two
· Ah well, it's why I don't like working with remote henchmen
· Me — Today at 12:12 PM
Thank you! If I'm going to be scammed the least someone can do is make the lie last as long as possible.
· Friend — Today at 12:13 PM
Marialos seemed so promising, but I think they won't get further than scamming tourists and people on reddit before their carelessness catches up to them
· Me — Today at 12:13 PM
I want to be old a gray when I realize the video games I've been playing weren't name-brand titles and were instead really engaging bootlegs
· Friend — Today at 12:14 PM
Why ship games when you can ship empty boxes and point to the ad saying in small print it was just the box?
· I made a lot of good money on ebay in the aughts selling 360 and ps4 boxes
· Me — Today at 12:15 PM
in the aughts? you were ambitious selling ps4 stuff
Friend — Today at 12:17 PM
Yeah, well the best mark is someone who thinks they're getting shady merch. None of the ps4 buyers ever even reported it
· · Me — Today at 12:18 PM
lol, probably too embarrassed
· Friend — Today at 12:18 PM
Embarrassed or worried they'd get in trouble for trying to buy one
· We haven't really covered confidence games yet because that doesn't seem like your strong suit, but one way to ensure you get away with it is to make them think what they're doing is also illegal
· We'll try a ring drop if you want to get a taste
· Me — Today at 12:21 PM
ok but wouldn't the best fleece be a situation where the legality actually is in question for both parties?
· I've seen Matchstick Men several times, I can spot a rube at 50 yards
· Friend — Today at 12:23 PM
They're hard to setup and if everyone knows they're committing crimes you'll be taking on too much risk if things go sideways. Some gas station owner is going to call the cops, a fence might break your spine
· Plus when dealing with other low lifes you really should stick to your word, you don't want to get a bad rep or no one will work with you. Don't shit where you sleep and all that
· Me — Today at 12:24 PM
see but what if the entire racket is actually just a complicated layer of Inception?
· How can you tell we're not in a simulation right now?
· Friend — Today at 12:25 PM
It's safer to assume you always are. That way no surprises
· Me — Today at 12:26 PM
the surprise would be that you're not (sad Price is Right music)
· Friend — Today at 12:27 PM
Perhaps, but it makes other things easier too if you are assuming this is all a simulation it doesn't really matter if you put a bullet in someone trying to pull one over on you
· Me — Today at 12:29 PM
Do subroutines not feel pain or experience fear? How maliciously unrewarding creating something like that must be.
· What is the point of life if you can't learn to hate it?
· Friend — Today at 12:30 PM
Well, like I tell my other clients, if you enjoy hurting people, do that in your own time. We're here to get results, not jollies
· Me — Today at 12:31 PM
speak for yourself
· also; I asked Chat GPT about you and I think you'll aprreciate what it has to say.
· Friend (adjective): Describing a quality or characteristic that is exceptionally rare, unusual, or unique, to the point of being nearly or entirely unparalleled. Something that is so uncommon that it stands out prominently among its peers.
· Friend — Today at 12:32 PM
Aw, chatGPT you flirt
· Me — Today at 12:32 PM
right?
· Friend — Today at 12:32 PM
The word actually means: made of or consisting primarily of tangible matter
· Me — Today at 12:33 PM
at what point does something become un-Friend?
· or is that a Thesus' Ship thing?
· Friend — Today at 12:35 PM
Surprisingly there are few grey areas.
· And very related to the ship though. The second ship the caretaker builds is conceptually a ship and thus exists as part matter, part idea until he hits the threshold of reality
· Me — Today at 12:37 PM
kind of like something that exists within The Dreaming?
· Friend — Today at 12:37 PM
In a sense, yes
· Me — Today at 12:38 PM
you are much more fun to talk bullshit to than an AI. This is a compliment.
· Friend — Today at 12:39 PM
Uh, that's because I have my bs in bs. Some hyped up language model will never replace me
· Me — Today at 12:39 PM
that's the spirit! Denial until you're plugged into the Matrix forcefully!
· Friend — Today at 12:41 PM
No need for force. If the machines were like, "yo, we taking over" I'd be first in line to be hooked up, especially if those robits promised me a working uterus in the matrix
· Me — Today at 12:42 PM
· Friend — Today at 12:42 PM
I wouldn't have much time before my biological clock ran out, but I'd do my best to have a baby
· The poor thing would have a terrible life though. Batshit crazy mom, absent father, always on the move
· Me — Today at 12:43 PM
yeah? being pregnant would be interesting, but i have no desire to raise a kid, it would probably just grow up to hate me
· Friend — Today at 12:44 PM
I have wanted to be a mom since my 20's. I think I'd be a terrible mother, but I think I'd try anyway
· Me — Today at 12:44 PM
that's commendable
· Friend — Today at 12:46 PM
I'd raise my kiddo to be very independent and support them in whatever direction they wanted to go in life. But my mental illness wouldn't just go away, you know?
· Maybe their father could be a more stable influence in that regard
· Me — Today at 12:47 PM
That's assuming you co-parent and aren't a badass on your own
· Friend — Today at 12:48 PM
Honestly I'd have to co-parent. I couldn't do it by myself. I am too broken to not have help raising my daughter
Me — Today at 12:48 PM
Thing I learned just now: Anteaters and sloths are the two most closely related animals to one another.
· I've known some pretty bat-shit crazy single parents
· Friend — Today at 12:49 PM
How did their kids turn out?
· Me — Today at 12:49 PM
mostly human, partly harmless
· Friend — Today at 12:49 PM
I want to make sure Samantha has every chance she can to be successful
· Me — Today at 12:50 PM
Samantha is the name of my friend who recently lose her estranged husband and son. It's a really good name.
· Friend — Today at 12:51 PM
It's a great name. I'd call her sam. If she turned out trashy like her mom she could go by sammy
· Sam, goblin, and little one would be my nicknames for her.
Me — Today at 12:52 PM
plus you're naming her after this genius
· My Samantha is totes a Sami
· Friend — Today at 12:52 PM
It's such a flexible name
· Me — Today at 12:53 PM
with an I though, because we went to HS with a boy Sammy
Friend — Today at 12:53 PM
Well see, if she turned out trans he'd have sam and sammy until he could change his name to something he liked better
· Me — Today at 12:54 PM
I'm going to go shovel nutrition into the rotting hulk of a corporeal essence. So I might be slow to respond for a bit.
· Friend — Today at 12:54 PM
No worries. I'm day dreaming about motherhood now and watching tiktoks
· Me — Today at 12:56 PM
Does it make me a bad tabs woman that I don't want a baby?
· Trans not tabs
· Friend — Today at 12:57 PM
No more than it would make you a bad cis woman. It's your life to live as you choose
· Me — Today at 12:58 PM
I used to think I wanted twins, each of the binary assignments. But my view of the world has changed a lot in 20 years.
· Friend — Today at 1:01 PM
Yeah, it's not really a good time to have kiddos. And honestly I literally can't be a genetic parent at this point, so my desire to have them is meaningless. I'm too crazy to adopt. Meeting someone who already had them would be about my only way in at this point and I don't know how I feel about being a wicked stepmother
· Me — Today at 1:02 PM
I never had a male name picked out. But my daughter would have been Cassiopeia
· Friend — Today at 1:02 PM
Fun fact, suicidality, and some mental health diagnoses are automatic disqualifiers for adoption
· Bailey would be me son's name
· Me — Today at 1:02 PM
My sister had fully embrace it.
· Me — Today at 1:03 PM
I did not know that. That's very sad.
· Friend — Today at 1:03 PM
Yar
· I talked about it a lot with my ex wife, but she didn't want kids with me. Though she gave birth to twins less than a year after we separated (while we were still in the process of getting a divorce)
· That was devastating
· Me — Today at 1:09 PM
I bet. That's one of the things my ex said to me after she revealed the miscarriage. That she thought of be a bad parent. I don't know how much she meant it versus how much she just wanted to hurt me.
· Friend — Today at 1:10 PM
Even if she meant it. Her opinion of you is not worth caring about
· Me — Today at 1:10 PM
Sad but true
· Friend — Today at 1:13 PM
It could also be empowering. She doesn't matter, her opinions don't matter, she is a piece of shit narcissist who uses people and discards them
· Me — Today at 1:13 PM
You know what they say, never marry your heroes.
· Friend — Today at 1:14 PM
Was she your hero?
· Me — Today at 1:15 PM
At one point. Long, long ago. She helped show me a world worth caring about and fighting for. Then somewhere along the way she decided i wasn't up to the task i guess.
· I've been realizing just how helpful that was when she decided to start treating me down.
· Tearing*
· Friend — Today at 1:19 PM
Helpful how, I don't think I follow
· Me — Today at 1:20 PM
It's incredibly dour and depressing are you sure you want me to explain?
· Friend — Today at 1:22 PM
Only if you want to.
· Me — Today at 1:23 PM
It just seems that the more intimately you know someone, the easier it is for them to attack your weak points for massive damage.
· Friend — Today at 1:23 PM
That's very true. Only the people we are vulnerable with can really hurt us
· Me — Today at 1:25 PM
I know it's the bad that makes the good worthwhile though. So I guess I just feel like touching the stove is always going to burn me, you know?
· Friend — Today at 1:28 PM
Can you unpack what you mean by that a little?
· Me — Today at 1:29 PM
If everyone you try to connect to ends up stabbing you in the back, is it worth the risk to keep letting people in?
· That's where radical acceptance falls apart for me.
· I feel like this is something I should talk to my therapist about. You know the one I actually pay to listen to me ramble.
· Friend — Today at 1:33 PM
I would say yes, that is a great idea. But I also have some insight on what becoming isolated and distant from other humans is like.
· Me — Today at 1:34 PM
It's why I find talking to you so easy, that and you've got a good sense of humor and we have overlapping interests.
· I dare say you might even be a friend.
· / dripping sarcasm I know we're friends
· Friend — Today at 1:36 PM
I don't know about all that now, lol. Bad influence? You bet. Mischievous menace? 100%. Friend? Well that seems like a stretch
Me — Today at 1:37 PM
Okay as long as we're on the same page. I don't mind cutting wits with u but I also don't want you to think I take you for granted.
· · And if I don't spell out SARCASM from time to time I'd be worried you actually believe me
· In always afraid of hurting people that way
· Shit, I think you're more effective than my therapist. I haven't been this open with myself in a while.
· Friend — Today at 1:40 PM
I know, maybe one day you'll feel confident enough in yourself to believe that people like your company and won't abandon you because of a small issue
· Me — Today at 1:41 PM
Lol yeah we'll work up to that one
· Friend — Today at 1:41 PM
It's a marathon, not a sprint
· Me — Today at 1:43 PM
fuck you for using the same words i've used against me
· Friend — Today at 1:43 PM
I keep wanting to convince you to be mean to me just so you know that you can make mistakes and do things that hurt other people without it being the end of the world
· Friend — Today at 1:44 PM
Me — Today at 1:44 PM
I have a sticky note with Fred Rogers on it looking at me right this second. I don't know how nasty i can be in that scenario.
· · Friend — Today at 1:45 PM
He worked for OSS during World War II and likely killed a bunch of people
· If that helps
· Me — Today at 1:46 PM
nah, cause the post-its also say "You're special" and "I like you just the way you are" I have a hard time believing anyone with puppets could kill a man... feel free to make that my epitaph
· Murdered by a gang of roaming muppets
· Friend — Today at 1:47 PM
Well good news, snopes says that's a bunch of hoey
· Me — Today at 1:47 PM
i do know Bob Ross used to be pretty angry
· he's probably the better parallel.
I don't know if this will help you or not, but I've been carrying it around for the last few months in my noggin
Friend — Today at 1:50 PM
Bob Ross was in the Air Force in the 1960's and part of his gentle demeanor was a response to the aggressive nature of life in the service. I saw an interview he gave about it once. He said he vowed to never raise his voice after he left the air force
Me — Today at 1:51 PM
yeah, that's me
Friend — Today at 1:51 PM
What was it like being in the air force during the cold war?
Me — Today at 1:52 PM
I once raged so hard that my ex was literally afraid of me. This was back in the first or second year of the marriage. But that look... I can't let anyone ever look at me like that again.
it was fear, and betrayal, and disgust all rolled into a very unappetizing tamale
it made me feel like what all the bullies i ever had said about me. That I was a monster. It's why i surround myself with horror. I feel at home here.
· to go beyond the pale and embrace my emo side, "the darkness is a comforting blanket"
· Friend — Today at 1:56 PM
I can relate. I had a lot of anger problems as a teen and would often be quite aggressive
Me — Today at 1:57 PM
i got it from both of my parents. My dad was a rageaholic and my mom very likely had BPD. Not that I'd ever burden her with that opinion, especially since she's cooled the fuck out as she's aged
You know, the fun part of being a millennial is that we're the last great generation doomed to suffer physical punishment in droves.
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Long Post & Thoughts —
This is not a political statement, not talking about abusers, and not talking about toxic positivity— y'all should probably know my stance on much of that by this point.
I do think every so often we need to be reminded that a fixation on the negative creates more negative. I recently watched a community discord server go from a positive-centric environment to being led down a negative-centric environment. I think it's really quite easy for people to fall into the "trap" of venting about horsecat girls online without. . . remembering to check themselves.
We see this complaint in a lot of ways, usually with that vibe of, "Go play something else, then," but I do find there are "gateway drugs" into getting fixated on negativity. Some of them include:
Talking about mods being too XYZ
Talking about someone's level of fantasy in a final fantasy game being "wrong"
Complaining there's not enough XYZ in roleplay
Complaining there's too much XYZ in roleplay
I promise you this community is exceptionally large and if you make a genuine effort to be directed that you will find communities interested in telling the types of stories you want to be involved in. I also think this community could be a lot better about being upfront and communicative about what kind of roleplay they actually are and are not interested in.
I shouldn't have to bend over backwards and become a pretzel to find out you don't want to do something, like, roleplay on the moon. Feasible in lore but not your cup of tea? Totally okay! But, put it on your carrd, put it on your LFRP, communicate somewhere that you don't want a particular flavour of this world (and put what you DO want, too!). Don't get mad at people when they want to go RP on the moon and that's a boundary you never set.
That's kind of a dramatic example but the same goes for whether or not you have a preference for low or high fantasy, what kind of tek you do or don't want to be around, what kind of magick you do or don't want to be around (never gonna let Mirke live down the good ol' white mage days). Don't like certain mods being used? Maybe don't RP with the person who finds that fashion choice interesting for their character.
But I think. . . going into voice channels, or public spaces of 100+ people, and saying it's "wrong" to like high fantasy, it's "wrong" to like a certain fashion, it's "wrong" to think cameras do/don't exist, it's "wrong" to roleplay on the moon— is factually incorrect at best and elitist at worst. Know your own limits. Set them in your personal spaces. Set them when you go into communities and are looking for things. But, maybe check yourself on if you're icking someone's yum for no reason.
Especially because as someone looking in, it's actually really sad to see us get a bad rep for being "negative"-centric in 14, when in actuality we can have these really positive spaces that end up getting drowned out by a few voices too loud and too unchecked.
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Entry 22
10/10/2023 00:20
I dont understand, I finally have someone, why am i not feeling different, I thought I'd at least feel something from having a goddess but it just feels fake, it feels like I'm faking it, like shes faking it why cant I just be happy with it. Im probably overreacting, these things are about trust and after having so so many people asking for money I dont feel like i can trust anyone. When she first started talking to me I answered her questions on autopilot, I didnt care about anything, it was just like i was filling a form, I had other people approach then ask for money on discord hours before she contacted me, how was i suposed to know she was gonna be the one that didnt require them, and thats the thing she said:
So just to be clear between us. I won't be asking you to pay tribute probably because you're in college.but that doesn't mean you shouldn't show your mistress appreciation out if your own free will whenever your mistress deserve to be gifted.
Hope we're clear on that.
I don't do findom.
So does she expect me to pay at some point? is that her plan? play the long game have me hooked to her so i cant refuse paying her or i risk losing her?
I havent received any verification from her either which isnt helping especially since ive sent pictures to her, and she refused a videocall for me to lock myself because I "hadnt earned it", she also found me im assuming from the chaster server but shes never posted there before, fuck writing this is making me distrust her more and more. Shes trying to get to know me she… might be doing it so i get feelings for her and pay up.. GOD DAMN MY FUCKING INSECURITY WHY CANT I JUST TRUST HER. I'd rather be happy now and cry later than be miserable now and cry later anyway if she ordered me to pay.
I dont even know if she enjoys this, she has multiple servants so that doesnt help.. she takes a long time to reply. while she isnt really the degrading type, actually shes been calling me good girl a lot but that just feels hollow.. maybe i should try to ask to be called good boy, that sounds a lot better in my head, but shes into feminization and sissification what if she doesnt agree or stops liking me because of it, i need to talk to her about this were suposed to be honest to each other but im so scared of her losing interest in me i dont know if i should tell her goddamnit im such a piece of shit to her. im not even being honest about her being the only one cause im also kinda doing a chaster session, but that ends when the timer runs out but still im being dishonest with her, the one fucking requirement in a healthy relationship and i cant even give that to her, i was right before i dont deserve to be in a relationship, im not mature enough for it, if i cant even give her honesty, nor can i trust her, nor feel anything when i do submissive tasks. Im such a piece of shit.
School has been troubling as well, the theory classes are so soul crushingly boring, i just delivered my first project that came out like shit cause i was incapable of working on it and procastinated for 90% of the time, this whole year ive been struggling to work or study in anyway while home im gonna be fucked arent i
So much for happy entries.. i wasnt even happy when i wrote it yesterday just mildly hopeful, i hope this changes soon, please let me be happy with her, plese.. let me forget about D as well Im so sick of being stuck thinking about someone that doesnt care about me. I wish i at least lived close to the new goddess so i could at least entertain the ideia of meeting up and cuddling or something, god that would be nice
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Heya, my name is Klaus. I'm a hentai artist and professional game developer. This post acts as an introduction, as well as a semi-incoherent rant.
... Enjoy?
I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment, I haven't been happy for a while now and I feel like I need some sort of space to write about my thoughts and stuff. I know very little about tumblr and how it works, which is part of the reason I picked it as my little "vent space". I've never been fully active on social media, but I know that I really hate Twitter, Facebook is frustrating to use, TikTok is overwhelming and irritating, and Reddit has a lot of unnecessary negativity floating around constantly. Hopefully this place is a little bit better. I'm not expecting people to follow or even see the stuff I post, but I hope the environment is less hostile and irritating than its competition.
I'm in my early 20s, and I'm a real goddamn nerd (you know, in case the whole "game developer and hentai artist" introduction didn't make that obvious). I love Nintendo games, heavy metal, cats, and vtubers. I have an off-beat sense of humour, don't know how else to describe it. Earthbound and Monkey Island kind of stuff.
I'm definitely on the weirder side (again, in case that wasn't obvious), at least partially because I'm autistic. I doodle ahegao faces while waiting for meetings to start, I have a compilation of various Hololive vtubers screaming as my alarm in the morning, and I have a Spotify playlist that jumps from Metallica's recent "Screaming Suicide" to the full version of that "Japanese Goblin" song that went viral like a year ago.
I'm a massive degenerate (in case that wasn't obvious [3× COMBO]). I have the whole starter package, a daki, an oppai mousepad, and like a dozen physical doujinshi.
They say tattoo artists shouldn't be tattoo artists unless they themselves have been tattoo'd, because they should know what the experience is like.
...Let's just say I'm glad the same doesn't go for hentai artists.
I speak a variety of languages, but I'll primarily be posting in English. Might throw in some Japanese dialogue into a drawing or something if I'm in the mood, it happens.
I've studied both art and game design. I'm a character artist/animator, and a generalist game designer. Don't feel like I'm particularly good at either one of them to be honest with you. : P
I use Clip Studio Paint EX to draw, and I'm slowly getting used to its animation tools as well. (I've mainly used OpenToonz, Krita, and FireAlpaca in the past, but I love the CSP brushes and layout so much that I'm trying to switch over entirely.)
I have experience with a lot of game engines, ranging from the Unreal Engine (aka my mortal enemy) to the much more simple and comfortable GameMaker Studio. I've worked on a variety of projects, some solo, others with different groups of people. Very unlikely anything you've played though.
I'm probably going to be posting a hentai drawing or three here. I tend to draw lewd shit when I'm sad, dunno why. Never had a place to post them before. I might just post a quick 5-minute sketch, or maybe a rough animation. I don't really know yet. Might do it daily, might do it once every few months.
Like I said, I haven't been happy for a good while now. I jump in and out of depressive episodes pretty often but this one's managed to last for a little longer than they usually do. I would love to tell my friends about it, but I just feel like I'd be a massive nuisance to them.
There's a lot that's bothering me, and I feel like I have to express it somehow. I'm not really a fan of "venting" on the internet, maybe because it reminds me of my teenage years, I don't know for sure- but posting it here feels "safe", it's in some random blog post no one will read, not an alarming message on discord or whatsapp, so I won't have to worry about bothering anyone, and I'll still get to write about how I feel.
Nothing I do feels right. My drawings look bad. My conversations are stale. My sleep schedule is fucked. My code is messy. I know things will get better eventually, I've been through this before, but it's hard to convince myself that that's actually the case and not just something I'm making up.
I've been feeling extremely lonely lately. As you can probably imagine if you've read all the stuff written above, I'm not exactly what you'd call a "chick magnet". I haven't been in a relationship since I was in my mid-teens, and the one I was in back then was long-distance. I haven't held a girl's hand since I was five or so and we were practically forced to do so in kindergarten. I've never kissed anyone in my life. I'm awful at nonverbal communication, and I get really jumpy whenever someone touches me, neither of which are great in a relationship. Finding someone with the same interests as me is practically impossible. I googled a whole bunch of statistics a few months back and came to the conclusion that every time I meet someone in the country I'm currently in, there is a 0.000773% chance that we have some interests in common, are both attracted to each other, and that they are single. (Oh yeah, I like numbers. Forgot to mention that.) That 0.000773% is obviously just an estimate, but I tried to be as "fair" as possible with the calculation. I very rarely leave my house, my eyesight is really rough so driving is out of the question, which means meeting new people is a rare occurance. At this point I feel like the best move might just be to give up and accept that I'll be alone forever, but that just makes me even sadder.
My real name isn't Klaus. It's an alias I came up with a few years ago that I only ended up using once to post a drawing. The drawing in question was on the lewder side of things, and I didn't want it to be associated with my other alias because no one knew about my "un-seiso" drawings. I've improved a lot as an artist since posting that old drawing and decided to pick the alias back up.
My reason for this isn't that my drawings are some kind of "DEEP DARK SECRET" that I have to keep from anyone- to be completely honest with you, I don't really care if anyone finds out what my main alias is. I just want to keep my hentai drawings separate from my more, ahem, "family friendly brand", that's all.
Sorry for rambling so much. It's very, very late, and I should be asleep by now. Bless your heart if you actually read all that crap. Cheers.
PS. Unless I decide to change it in the future, I realised right before posting this that I never set a profile picture, so I doodled an ahegao face as fast as I could, and for some reason I actually kind of like it. Really wish it weren't off-center though, might fix that tomorrow.
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Thanks for the answer. I like your ideas. As far as the why, it's somewhere along the lines of "the people who most want to be president probably shouldn't be." Although, often, I don't even feel like it's organizers at fault in particular, so much as that they have to make decisions that are difficult to make when the people involved are right there with you physically and in your online circles - and I think as a result there's an instinct to sweep things under the rug in the name of a "strong community" and minimizing conflicts. But all that means is that other people drop out silently, one by one, as it becomes clear that the rules don't mean much when someone "important" is involved.
And if this community needs someone not afraid of a little assault charge to make sure cons stay protected spaces, well...that can be my job. Being a shrimp has its perks in terms of looking like the innocent one >:)
Whoever you are, I am unsure again why you are singling me out as someone who has not been posting much as of late but thanks? Since the decline of Tumblr, and FetLife, in favor of Discord (and probably somewhere else) it's a lot harder to skim peoples' scene logs and generally good ideas. More than anything else, I think that's what built the framework of a really good online community just a few years before the pandemic.
Everybody out there is doing their best and there's a very high bar for a lot of people. Nobody's going to be perfect and ConCom people can get burned out or turned over very regularly. If you had a team of people whose job it was to run these things from outside those who may play there you might get a completely different experience, but probably one that's more of a business. Which has its own set of problems. People running these things are doing their best and it's a lot of unpaid work so people can meet up and have - hopefully - a totally fantastic time.
I hope everybody brings their "A" game and sets a good example to everything they do. Which is, of course, making sure the other people involved also want the same thing they do. Ultimately these are really big private parties with an admission fee, and nobody has accused me of throwing a good party.
As much as I think we all care about the people involved, I doubt any of us want to do a part-time job planning an event for a minimal stipend like maybe a hotel room or a car rental reimbursement. It’s a lot to ask of anybody, and why I may not need to ever consider being involved. Also, nobody asks, which makes it very easy to not be involved.
Thank you for reaching out, and I appreciate the kind if most likely not deserved compliments. (But also, the people putting on these events do deserve a lot more applause because it can be a thankless job. One of my best pals was involved with it and it's amazing to see what they can roll up their sleeves to accomplish.)
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