Patrick Fabian is aware of your fanfic. 😭

............................

OKAY BUT WHAT WAS HE DOING AT THE DEVIL'S SACRAMENT ETC

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

I’ve been so ill this past few weeks and been hospitalized because of medical concerns. Found out that I have a tumor and it was already malignant. I have a Stage 2A Cervical Cancer and needs help ASAP. 🥺

GOAL: $1800

Oh this is gonna be so fun. Buckle up, children, time for

✨SCAM EDUCATION✨

1:

Someone you don't know sends you an ask and asks for money

This in itself is an alarm bell. Maybe you're used to it if you're a big account, but if you're a smaller one that alone should make you suspicious af. This user does not follow me nor do I follow them. The only case in which this is acceptable is if you're running a donations blog (you know, the ones who collect people in need and make periodic posts to boost them? Which are way more expert in checking for possible frauds, or so one hopes)

2:

If you scroll down their blog, they're very recent

This is their first ever post, notice the time stamp. If it's still active when you're reading this, you can check yourself.

It's even worse because, while it makes sense for someone very desperate to open accounts on any social media that comes to mind and start begging, you scroll down their blog and their posts are mostly untagged gifs of popular shows and scantily clothed women. Which in itself is not a crime, I often do it too (though I don't go around asking money to strangers) but when you've known for weeks (see pinned post) that you were sick, and your blog is only 5 days old, I would expect at least one post about it other than the pinned one, no? Or even just one single original posts instead of only reblogs and one answered ask to another 6-days-old account

Also I'm not one to judge others' sexual preferences but if you're a mom I would expect at least one of the thirsty posts to be about a man, but oh well. Definitely not enough

3.

Check for others' warnings

There's a whole blog dedicated to listing all the scammers here in Tumblr, but I can't fucking member I should follow them if and when I remember

The fastest way is to search for their PayPal account name. First, though, you have to be CAREFUL about clicking suspicious links - always copy the link and paste it in the url bar to quickly check where it redirects you. In this case I saw It did redirect me to PayPal, and I did load it only because I don't have any PayPal app or credentials saved on my phone, so I don't risk payments or credentials getting sent automatically.

Unfortunately this must be quite recent, because searching for Christine Owaga (this guy^'s PayPal) only got me some Facebook accounts, and I don't remember my password so I'm not gonna check those.

However, since this is an ask on Tumblr, I looked on Tumblr for terms like "scam alert", "scam warning", "donation scam" and so on, and I did find something interesting:

Same exact message several times, more than one account, only one of which is still active.

Then I scrolled a bit more and found this one with a sliiiightly modified text, gonna bet that it's because that was when the victim brought a link to someone with a much bigger collection of receipts lmao just gonna link it here

The PayPal account name is different tbh, which means this dude is at least a bit smarter than an actual bot and knows how to spam semi-efficiently. Kudos!

This is not how a legit ill person should behave. Not even trying to bring some evidence, just leaving a trail of deleted accounts.

Gonna tag everyone I saw reblogging the scammer's pinned post so that they can delete it and maybe warn their followers (assuming they're not bots themselves)

@thecherry95 @back-in-19something @underthewingsofthblackeagle @fantasticcollectorkitten @takineko @razzgamer5 @jacks-ace @windywillows-world @aurelia-which-means-sunrise @comradesmooches @loch-tess-monster @urazayt @boodubious07 @satinfables @rateater69 @irontyphoonobject @blackfairyemoji @dannyfoggings @helloparzival13 @rusalkascave

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon

Guys, I don't think the kids are alright. What I've noticed over the past three days is

1.) a halfhearted ramping up of "omg these freaks are bad" from the usual suspects 2.) a prominent anti-anti IDW blog and professional pain in the ass thinking of leaving because of Sonic Twitter (lmao). according to them, it used to be fun to dunk on their "targets," but Sonic Twitter is apparently producing "stupid takes on purpose" 3.) a Tumblr blog whose schtick is publishing "cursed Sonic takes" anonymously... and most of the posts are anti-IDW Receipts can be provided upon request, but for now I'd prefer to speak in generalities. For all the huffing and puffing this fandom did for how the Deadly Gang is the bane of its existence, it's really fuckin' interesting how, once they realize they don't have a convenient punching bag, they need someone else to scapegoat. And because others aren't willing to put up with it, they're forced to slink back into the corner.

I wish I could say I could be a bigger person and that I feel sorry for them, but honestly, I don't. It's funny to me in a Schadenfreude kind of way, how for years these assholes insisted on pathologizing us and in the end they reveal just how terminally online they are. It's almost like none of us were ever in a "cult" to begin with and it was all projection.

We've moved on already. Why can't you?

I'm forcing Essek to use an emoji: 13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

I keep trying to pick a Midst character for this question too, and I can't bc they're all too good for this. idk pick one for a bonus ig

(send me a character ask!)

LMAO I actually do think Essek would use emojis primarily for specificity or tonal reasons. (Caleb would either refuse to use emojis ever or he would be that menace who's reinventing hieroglyphics. Absolutely no in between.) I think his top emoji would be 👍 (no specified skin tone) because he's not sending a whole extra text when he could react with a thumbs up as acknowledgement of receipt. (He does not have read receipts on. You will know he saw it when he deigns to react.) But I think he would also use 🤔 a lot, specifically to express dubiousness about claims in the group chat (usually Jester or Veth, but anyone is fair game). NOT 🤨 or 🧐, crucially. He also uses 🖤 for heart purposes, which he uses in extremely rare scenarios.

Also you're so right, all of the Midst characters are so good for this, so I'm gonna pick one with no explanation for each main character because it's funny. Is it the one I associate with them? Is it the one they would use? I leave that to your imagination. 😌

Lark: 😶

Phineas: 🫠

Weepe: 👀

Alaska's Nice This Time of Year, Right? - Mafia!Joel Miller Imagine

Mafia!Joel Miller x OFC

Rating: T (language, mentions of violence, jealous!Joel, fluff)

Summary: Joel can't help be a little jealous when his baby girl's at work. He handles it in typical Mafia!Joel fashion.

AN: Starting a little collection of blurbs that can be woven throughout my "Without Warning" Series, doesn't follow any specific order, just little snippets of life/scenarios.

Requests are open for anyone with a headcanon/idea! Smutty or non-smutty! I'm here for it all lmao

Without Warning Masterlist

Joel glared at the blonde man currently sitting in his girl’s section, having just come out of Tommy’s office, he went in search of his girl, knowing the bar would be closing soon and he could take her home. 

“Everything good, sweetheart?” he asked, waiting by the service well for when she’d eventually have to come and pick up Mr.Backstreet-Wannabe’s refill. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” she nodded, passing by him with a gentle brush of her fingers against his hand, subtle but enough to soothe his green monster. 

He watched, perhaps a little too closely, as the man in question would stop her every time she passed his table, grabbing at her hand or waving her over with that stupid smile that made Joel want to knock his teeth out. 

“Don’t go scarin’ my customers,” Tommy muttered, helping Jared close down as last call finally came around, having watched Joel’s agitation grow the longer he watched Indi work.

“Can’t be scared if he’s dead,” Joel grumbled, his fingers itching for his gun.

“She’s doin’ her job, man, don’t start shit where it’s not needed,” his brother tried to reason with him, coming to lean next to him behind the bar, watching as Indi dropped off a receipt at the man’s table. 

As “Mr. Backstreet” stood up, he had to get one last shot in, it seemed, holding onto Indi’s wrist, obviously a little more than buzzed, as he animatedly used his hands to talk to her. She laughed at something he said, making Joel grind his jaw in frustration. The man then had the audacity to touch her waist, like he was trying to give her a hug, but she stepped back before he could get closer. The slight movement stirred some relief in Joel, but not much when Indi touched the asshole’s shoulder, smiling sweetly as she spoke. 

“He’s not her type,” Jared said, passing Joel as he carried a fresh keg to refill the taps.

It didn’t help. Joel arched his brow, glancing at the younger bartender, looking unamused by the whole situation. The kid was alright, a little loud sometimes, but he kept an eye on Indi and respected both Millers, which was enough for Joel.

His dark eyes followed the blonde man as he left, looking a little unsteady on his feet but not stumbling around enough to raise concern. When his girl came up to him, holding her ticket book out to Tommy to count at the end of the night, she leaned into Joel, looking drained. 

“Long night, baby girl?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her neck, holding her to his chest. 

“Kind of, crowd was a little much tonight,” she muttered, pressing her cheek into his chest as she hugged him tightly, closing her eyes, enjoying his soothing touch as he rubbed her back. 

“Saw your little admirer was tryin’ hard tonight. He give you any trouble?” he asked, trying to sound casual, but she immediately heard the change in his tone.

She smirked up at him. “You mean the college kid who wouldn’t leave?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah.” 

“Why? Jealous?” she teased him, biting her lower lip to keep from laughing.��

He scoffed. “I don’t get jealous, sweetheart.” He gave her a pointed look. “I just don’t like trash touching what’s mine,” he shrugged, his grip tightening slightly for emphasis. 

She laughed, bringing both her arms around his neck and craning up to kiss him. “You know he wrote his number on the receipt,” she said, amused.

Joel’s fingers flexed roughly against her hips. “Lemme see it,” he practically growled, the warm brown of his eyes darkening to nearly black at the thought. 

“Baby,” she crooned up at him, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “He left a $2.50 tip on a $50.00 tab, he’s basically a walking red flag. Even if I were single, he’d still never have a chance.” 

He scowled, knowing damn well that math didn’t add up. “That’s like…five percent of the bill?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Cheap fuck…”

She kissed his jaw, then his cheek and finally his lips, her touch soothing his jealous heart. “He wouldn’t even know what to do with me, my love.”

He smiled to himself, loving how she stroked his ego just when he needed it. “Is that right, darlin’?” 

She nodded with a hum of agreement. “Need a big, strong man to keep me satisfied,” she continued softly against the shell of his ear.

He scoffed, knowing she was just fucking with him now. “That supposed to mean me?” he asked with an amused smirk.

“Of course, who else?” She laughed. “So…wanna take some of that frustration out of me when we get home? Let me remind you who I belong to?” she offered, her voice low and seductive, making him groan. 

“Just might have to, sweetheart, right after I shoot that cheap asshole in the kneecaps…”

“Hmm, just don’t get blood on the bed sheets,” she murmured against his neck. 

He smirked, loving how she would just go along with his threats sometimes, knowing he was smart enough not to actually follow through. And if he did, it was much more subtle, more strategic. 

“Hands off my employee, she’s still on the clock,” Tommy interrupted them, handing her a stack of bills, her tip payout for the night.

“Fuck off,” Joel fired back, rolling his eyes. 

While Jared and Indi finished the last of their closing duties, Joel and Tommy went into his office to discuss an upcoming trade. Tommy thought it was a bad idea. Joel insisted it was fine, knowing he’d be there anyway in case things did go bad. 

The knock at the door had them both pausing. “Ready to go?” Indi asked. She’d thrown a hoodie over her uniform, her bag slung onto her shoulder.

“Let’s go, darlin’,” Joel nodded, standing from his seat, giving Tommy’ shoulder a squeeze in goodbye before following his girl out to his truck. 

“Were you talking shit or talking shop?” she asked once he’d gotten the truck on the road.

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re somethin’ else, baby girl. Got a job comin’ up, out near San Antonio, nothing too serious, but you know how Tommy gets after his injury.” 

She hums in acknowledgement. “Should I be worried?”

“Not at all, baby, just doin’ some business,” he said, reaching across to take her hand and kiss the back of her knuckles like he often did while driving. 

“Thought you might be reverse tracking that guy’s address or something,” she joked. 

Joel smirked. “Ellie’s lookin’ into it for me. Alaska’s nice this time of year, right?” 

“Joel!” she huffed in frustration, rolling her eyes. “Are you serious?” 

“No, baby, you know I wouldn’t waste resources on trash like the sleazebags that hit on you at work,” he soothed her, kissing her palm and then her wrist affectionately.

“Okay…” she sighed, relaxing. “Good.” 

He grins smugly. “I just have my boys snatch ‘em up for target practice…”

“Joel!” 

And if Mr. Backstreet-Cheapskate somehow ended up getting a mandatory job transfer to Alaska for an indefinite amount of time, well, Joel didn’t know anything about that…

Without Warning Masterlist

episode 8 time, this rewatch has made me realize the title cards' style don't actually alternate every episode. is there a pattern to them or what?

starting off with nika and martin telling the rest of earth house about miorine starting gund-arm inc and lmfao at nuno just calling that shit out immediately. yeah her ulterior motive is being a giant lesbian

honestly had kinda forgotten how averse to the idea of working for miorine the whole of earth house was at the beginning

before the break up arc i thought this frame was going to be important for dealing with prospera especially when later on miorine is shown for being one to keep receipts (ie. the photo she took of the kids who threw the spraycan or whatever at martin's head). but nah i guess she was just recording everything prospera was gonna have to say about gundams etc

i know prospera's priorities are hella skewed from her own trauma, but i honestly don't blame her for keeping this from suletta for as long as she did. no one on mercury needed to know about this and suletta wasnt in any danger while piloting aerial

i think if anything, it probably shouldve been information to be divulged to her prior to leaving to asticassia, but even then im not sure given suletta's personality early on. like she wouldnt have blabbed about it but it may have always just been more dangerous for her to have that knowledge

musemetachi again and one of the most iconic prospera shots lmao

and of course mio isn't buying any of this shit

important points being made, but like... why didn't she just ask herself lol

enter the shaddiq plot and it's kinda funny how suletta immediately pins the issue at hand here and why shaddiq is trying to pursue gund-arm. meanwhile miorine can't even fathom that being true

kinda funny to have miorine of all people telling earth house to look on the bright side after they see how much money theyve got to work with. though i'm pretty sure this is just her early naivety

miorine rembran, prospera mercury told you to check your privilege

i guess i don't really have much to say on earth house standing their ground against building weapons since lmao its objectively good and all the coming work with earth house allows miorine to not be so prickly and realize there are people out there who will be her genuine friends

i wonder if by the end of the series guel even realized shaddiq was in love with miorine lol

literally what even is sarius' deal against gundams

well, he was right i guess

in rewatching this episode, its hard not to feel so frustrated with shaddiq. like sure, she was likely never going to return your feelings, but could you not have just said something instead of all this posturing and trying to play white knight lol

something something suletta doesnt even hug her mom in greeting

i don't think anyone at earth house could have even fathomed the idea that miorine would have found something for them to focus on besides weapons

man, i wish miorine and dr cardo could have met lol

god this fucking promo video lmao

i wonder if even if its a tiny miniscule amount, but if prospera holds any sort of respect for miorine choosing to have gund-arm inc focus on what the vanadis institute was originally doing. thats honestly something i wish we'd had gotten at all some point

mio please

as soon as suletta starts talking about how much fun shes having, mio just gets the softest look on her face and lays her head against suletta's back and gosh is it cute lmao that is a girl in love

what did she mean by this lmao

i dont want to know what cheering someone up is code for for maisie

interesting scene set up with the grassley girls to have sabina be the one to speak out their plan if miorine doesnt go along with it easily as well as having maisie call out the fact that shaddiq wouldnt want to do something to hurt miorine (laughing at this latter point imagining all the grassley girls clowning on shaddiq for his thing for miorine)

the stakes are all slowly building up but it still isnt nowhere near 2nd cour stakes. not sure if i'll get to episode 9 today because thats another favorite and just like my episode 7 rewatch, it may end up being 2 posts lol

Okay so rant ahead because I'm lowkey annoyed and stressed lmao.

So basically, I booked a holiday with my family earlier last month to Hong Kong and Japan from December to January.

I told my manager about it today via messages, this morning at 10am.

At 9:40pm, I get a message from the head pharmacist in the work group chat we have, saying something along the lines of "We can't let people take leave before Christmas because we're short staffed."

And now I'm out here wondering if they were talking to each other about it (they are pretty close and have worked together for a long time), and instead of reaching out to ME PERSONALLY, they fucking shade me in the group chat. I could be overthinking and that might not be the case but it sure feels like it.

And now I'm also worried they will fire me! But I also doubt they will due to how short staffed they are, and it wouldn't only just fuck me over but it would fuck them over if they fire me now. Especially since they take a LONG TIME to hire new staff (bitches out here taking a month to hire ONE PERSON, no wonder you're short fucking staffed).

But still, I'm worried lmfao.

I've talked to my friends about it and they were like "Yeah, they probably won't fire you due to how short staffed they are, and they can't NOT let you go on the holiday you've already booked."

I messaged my manager (again) right away, as well as the head pharmacist about it PRIVATELY because that's the professional fucking way to do things, and told them I already had the holidays booked well in advance and that I can't cancel things due to their own tardiness in hiring people (obviously I didn't say the whole tardiness part), and am waiting for a response. It's night time, so I don't expect a response right away (though my manager could have definitely reached out to me WHEN I SENT THAT MESSAGE THIS FUCKING MORNING), but if they don't respond then I'm going to sort it out when I get back to work on Tuesday.

And also, I didn't tell them right away last month when I booked in the holidays because I was thinking "If I tell them next month (which is now), they'd still have TWO MONTHS to sort their shit out and hire more people." In hindsight, I probably should have told them the moment I booked the holidays so I guess it's partially my fault. BUT AGAIN, two months fucking notice should be more than enough and the fact that I'm even giving them this long should show them I'm at least somewhat considerate of their staffing issues in which they created themselves.

Also, I'm a casual!! So I don't need to be giving them this long of a fucking notice, to be goddamn honest with you.

But of course they decide to throw that shit in my face and get annoyed for their own inadequacy in hiring people within a short time frame.

AnyWAY, yeah. I'm saur annoyed at their inadequacy to reach out to me for clarification or whatever, but if they need proof that I booked this shit in earlier on, than I have the receipts.

And also, I told them during the interview that I might be going on this trip so!! BITCH. I TOLD YOU. Don't turn this around on me and make it look like I'm the bad guy!

Nancy: lots of read receipts to your dumber messages, always uses perfect punctuation and grammar, expects you to respond immediately and in full if she asks you something, queen of sexting

Eddie: chaotic texter, will get drunk or high and text you long strings of messages with idle thoughts, loves sending you pictures/videos/voice notes of random things and getting them in return, king of sexting

Steve: frequently forgets to respond to texts but worries if you don't respond to his, sends emojis in place of words, wants any conversation that seems like it could get serious to be a phone call instead so nothing comes off the wrong way, prefers actual phone sex to sexting because he wants to hear your voice get pitchy for him

Robin: texts are 90% gifs and memes, constantly online, if she responds in full sentences/paragraphs you know something is serious, awkward at sexting and usually just asks you to come over instead to do it properly

the way i want to send nancy dumb things just to get a '......' reply. I feel like she leaves read receipts on for everyone else but she genuinely tries to reply to every message you send to her because you're special. she definitely prefers phone calls and wants to see your face and hear about your day in detail. she doesn't sext often because shes paranoid about internet safety but when she does.....it has you whining with a hand down your panties and your fingers absolutely soaked.

EDDIE he'd be so fun to text. hes surprisingly a very eloquent texter when he wants to be??? like yeah he sends you dumb reaction memes and incomprehensible voice notes but you'll stay up till 5am some nights just having in depth conversations with him. hes CHAOTIC over the phone. but you fall asleep to him playing the guitar alot. his sexting is so vile and he always does it when you're out in public. just hanging with your family at the dinner table and you get a text 'can't stop thinking about how you look when you cum.'

STEVE. he leaves you on read on accident all the time and it makes you so mad and hes genuinely so apologetic about it LMAO. he'll send you cute little reminders and things like 'miss you' throughout the day though and it makes you melt. steve is an excellent talker so....guided masturbation on phone calls....yes.

robin im deadass giggling trying to sext her she is so awkward. 'robin What're you wearing rn' her: 'khakis'

did u go to dashcon? if so what was that like?

Oh lmao I guess you saw my twitter post about that? Well yeah! I did! In fact, a good chunk of Megamind fans went together as a fandom meet-up! In case you needed any proof:

(I don't remember the artist of the Megamind keychain, sorry. I bought it off etsy ages ago :D;;) But I also regret to inform everyone that I had a Nice Time at DashCon despite the shitshow I learned about it while there and after leaving it, but mostly because the fandom group I was with was, er... actually competent and good at planning in ways that don't fuck folks over? (minus ONE person but that's not my story to tell tbh) But it was a nice, chill small con with interesting panels and a pretty widely diverse group of nerds all there with their nerdy friends being nerds. Like literally I can't complain about it. One of the panels that was mocked on Tumblr by name alone was run by my friend Dani-Kin and was, actually, a GREAT panel, which was running over time because people didn't want to LEAVE it. I was also at an 18+ panel that security came into to pull someone (apparently underage?) out of, and Tumblr made a huge deal of that too as if the con was somehow just ~allowing~ that to happen. Basically it was a nice little con crowd-and-panel-wise and from just a casual visitor's perspective, I was fine. I've been to way worse panels at bigger cons, like Midwest FurFest, tbh. (I'm looking at you, panel about "asexuality" that was trying to reinforce the idea that asexuality is strictly sex-repulsion, which it is NOT, but I'm grumbling off-topic here.) The rest of it was a shitshow that I managed to mostly dodge by hanging with my friends, but something about last-second begging for money happening at the con and people just handing over their cash to help without any receipts or anything. There was also a HUGE group that I wanna say paid extra for a live episode or something of Welcome To Night Vale that got shafted because the con apparently didn't pay the WTNV guys to be there when they agreed to, so they bounced and fans waited in line for quite a while, waiting to see them. (I can't blame them for choosing to fuck off when they did, they didn't know if they'd ever get paid and that's pretty shit.) BUT the Megamind fandom group I was with was awesome, we rented out two of the large suite rooms near one-another and bounced between them to hang out and be loud and obnoxious together and meal-planned and stuff and it was all-around a good time, for me. It was also that con I discovered that I was in love with Vamp, who 8 years later is my fiancé and we live together! My partner (hi, poly) Dal also got engaged to his husband in Megamind cosplay there and like, it can't get much cuter than that. I sadly did not see the ball pit. However I did pick up my badge in the room the ball pit was IN, and it's a MASSIVE room, like impressively massive, like you probably could park airplanes in it, which makes the ball pit look even smaller than it was, apparently. Good times. (Oh and I also found a random new yellow DashCon staff shirt which I've squirreled away in a box somewhere cause I thought it was hilariously telling of the state the con ended up in. I assume the person who left it was fed up, as it was pretty far into the con's chaos when I found it.) Idk if this is the kind of answer you wanted, anon, but the TL;DR is I had a good time because my group was awesome, and while some stuff was exaggerated for cringe clout on The Tumbles or whatever there was a lot of terrible shit also which I entirely dodged due to fucking off with my group when it happened, like the scrambling for funds last-second and such. Maybe someone else from the DashCon Megamind group can weigh in on that stuff! Sometimes when we end up driving into Schaumburg I see the old con hotels and look at it fondly now, tbh. The hotels we stayed at are next to the closest Ikea to me, so we end up there now and then. :3

ok hi!!! certified Christian pulisic lovergirl here. apologies in advance if this message is unwelcome.

I, a card carrying chronic daydreamer, had my cute little fantasy world interrupted today by the "girl posting tiktoks from his house" rumor. Anyway I looked for said tiktoks like...... evvvverrryyywhherree (i guess i like the pain idfk) and i can't find even a ghost of a hint of something like that. I could be wrong, maybe you've seen them for yourself idk? but if alleged tiktok girl does exist, he doesn't follow her on insta (like 99% sure). And without seeing the actual videos/having more context i just feel like...... A: she could be anyone. a friend of a friend who hung at his place one time. a cousin. his homie's gf. his landlord. a ghost. idfk. or B: the videos literally don't exist and someone just made it up to watch us squirm

also i wondered for a hot minute if he was dating elena chiriac or someone named bridget (trying to be a little more nondescript bc i don't think she intends to put herself in the public eye), but both of them have boyfriends (boyfriends who are not christian lol). receipts on that!

anyway I wasn't sure if i should send this; on the one hand i worry i'll be adding fuel to the fire, but also i hate seeing so many of my fav blogs in the puli sphere having to deal with fallout from this really flimsy claim sent by one random anon. I just think the sadness might be premature/unneeded so i wanted to send you my take incase it could help remedy that. again, no idea if I'm doing the right thing sending this message, so imma leave it up to you what you wanna do with it/who you wanna share it with lol. i decided to send it to you bc you seem pretty ~drama free~ and like you know the other puli blog girls well enough to know if this message would help/harm. hope I'm making sense? idk? lmao ok I'm out, peace &blessings to u my gal, and p.s. i love love love your writing hehe

-coco chanel

now folks when we make claims it should be in this format, but yea, honestly im also a chronic daydreamer but these are actual peoples lives, so when they do something, its not our place to hate them, hate people involved, and i am a full believer never speculating until confirmation, seeing is thats how people get hurt. Lets give everybody some space and lets just take a deep breath in, and out.

also thank you for all the love!!!

Not the same anon as before who asked about Zendaya posting Tom, but I guess I have a similar question lmao! I loved your insight and do agree with you! Although I am interested to see if Zendaya will ever publicly call Tom her boyfriend lol.. Its clear that he is but I am STILL seeing people say its unconfirmed/rumoured. Like will she ever be mention in interviews the sacred B word or just mention his name (or not at all 😝)

Lol well Z has almost slipped up a few times calling him her boyfriend in interviews, and idk what she was trying to say in Venice lol 😆 (we'll just leave that as inconclusive lol🤭).

But if you're wanting Z to call Tom her bf in interviews (even though it's totally obvious) so that delulus/trolls/antis will finally "believe", then girl you're wasting your time lol. 😂 There's no helping those ppl.

These are the same ppl who swore up and down that they would only "believe" that Tom and Zendaya were dating IF:

They were ever spotted kissing (they've been spotted kissing) ✔

They ever engaged in any PDA (they've been spotted in numerous venues and occasions engaging in PDA in PUBLIC) ✔

Tom posted Zendaya to his IG like he did Nadia (Tom has already claimed Z on IG, AND he tagged her, AND he posted a picture of the two of them TOGETHER, AND he made a post calling her HIS MJ.... not just a caption-less photo, or a vague statement about golf clubs lol) ✔

They saw them out on dates by themselves without a chaperone (they've been out on numerous dates alone together w/out a chaperone, and even used to do that during the Tomdaya 1.0 era. It wasn't smthg they did all the time, but they used to go out together alone even prior to the Tomdaya 2.0 era) ✔

They ever went on vacation together (well, they just went on a baecation together at a remote resort a few months ago, they went to Oakland not too long ago ALONE, and they just enjoyed a nice mini work event/vacation in Napa Valley this past weekend) ✔

They ever attended events together (ummm... they just attended a freaking WEDDING together. It doesn't get too much more couple-y than that 😏)

So, as you can see, it's NOT that there haven't been ample, red-glaring signs by now that Tomdaya are indeed seriously dating each other.....in ADDITION to the mounds of evidence, tea and receipts that they've been dating each other for YEARS even prior to now.... (as if him being spotted coming out of her house on several occasions with LUGGAGE wasn't already a huge clue years ago. 🙄)

What it is, is that these trolls/antis/delulus just don't want to believe. 🤷🏾‍♀️

You see how the goal post KEEPS on moving? By that list alone above, they should have "believed" long time ago lol. 😂 But some of them will never believe, simply because they don't want to believe. You can't reason with stubborn ppl like that. Thankfully, they are a small minority lol 😆 😂

So, do yourself a favor and ignore the nonsense. Tom and Zendaya are dating each other whether those ppl choose to accept it or admit it or not! 🤣

📓Only if you're still accepting these, friend!

yes I am! here is

JURASSIC PARK CODYWAN AU

..which has less to do with dinosaurs than the paleo au lmao. In this case jurassic park is more about the vibes of a facility that has really gone to its inhabitants, rather than its keepers, which I think would be really cool if applied to Kamino.

I'm thinking: obi-wan going to check out the receipts of this place only to land and find tipoca city in the most overgrown dilapidation it could possibly get. Here's where keeping themselves isolated from most of the rest of the galaxy has gotten the kaminoans, and now there are only a few of them left, surviving by the skin of their teeth(?) in the place where they created the very same creatures which now hunt them down. Obi-Wan probably immediately gets a Bad Feeling but investigates nevertheless, probably finding a kaminoan or two who probably tell him to get out of here but not before they say the really interesting stuff related to the "Jedi's failed army" that means he has to stay to figure out what that's about.

I don't have a real plot for this (but would probably welcome suggestions for one, because I do like this idea), but eventually Obi-Wan finds the ruling occupants of the city: the clones! however--

We can't have a proper jurassic park au without some funky genetics happening, so of course the kaminoans have taken jango's dna and then "complemented" it with all the best features of space-frogs and space-crocs and maybe some space-birds. What was the weird thing they did in jurassic world, like, frickin,, jellyfish or chameleons or cuttlefish or something? anyways, a cool bunch of extra alien dna got shoved in to make the new army As Cool As Possible but then they accidentally just made the Most Dangerous (but still Very Cool) Clones, which were initially just little guys, but then didn't like how they were being treated, probably. chomp chomp, etc.

So obviously this is just me daydreaming about Cody et al. with scales and tails and claws, etc. and why shouldn't Obi-Wan meet and befriend and then defeat some sort of galactic evil with them? Why shouldn't he also fall a little bit in love, too? Why shouldn't we think for a short time about what the clones already make us think about humanity, but in a slightly more oblique way that involves cool creature senses? Or that classic debate on what it means to be monstrous?

Anyways, I'll leave you with the image of Cody perched in the corner of the ceiling like a cross between nightcrawler xman and a real gecko. Mwah

| Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about. |

I've been Having a Time and apparently the cure is reading old Creepypasta fanfiction. So. I knew it was all gonna be terrible and cringe and 2013 fanfiction and I was very prepared for that!!!! But it was all on Wattpad and DA and Quotev and I haven't used those sites in years so I was like "Let's just check what Ao3 has first" maybe see if I can find something possibly,,,,, good,,,,,,

AND I DID

AND ITS LIKE ALMOST 500,000 WORDS????

It's called Spill Your Guts and it's by Reabees.

I'd say light spoilers ahead! Up to chapter 11, and nothing you wouldn't really expect.

The authors left a note at the beginning calling it "a product of its time" but oh, it's so much fun. It's dark and gorey and funny at the same time. There's vine references that are just so perfectly timed for the acts of brutality the characters are committing. The characters all have rational thoughts(except the girl who got shot in the tit, lmao we love you Alexis)

It's got the set up of a slasher film, group of 'friends' out in a cabin in the woods, masked killers, you know what's up.

Obviously, the cabin incident is only like, 6 chapters, so obviously Reader lives, Final Girl and all that.

BUT ALL THE TINY CALLBACKS TO EVENTS THAT HAPPENED IN THE CABIN THAT THE THREE BRING UP!!!!!!

Brian leaving a smileyface on the receipt, saying "I know" when she joked that she bites(I was legit caclking abt that one). I know there's more but I can't recall off the top of my head. But it's such a fun detail and I love it so much. Yes, this is all terrible terrible stuff happening but it's so funny at the same time.

Also, even before it was explicitly said I was like "Oh, we're in love with Jen. We love Jen. I love Jen" and I love that I was right lmao. I love being gay.

I love this fic so much so far. Sully is great I hope nothing happens to him or his mom :)))))) I am absolutely certain he's going to die but I can still hold onto the hope that he doesn't. Emile then is my next hope, keep the goth teen safe please. He hasn't done anything wrong.

Oh of course Goober too, please at least let it happen off screen. He's the readers dog and he's a very good dumb boy and I love him.

This post that was made by helianthus was almost a year ago and sadly I can't find the screen shots of the post only a screen shot of our message that doesn't show much because they only messaged once and didn't respond after I replied lmao but I understand not trusting a random anon. Just warning you to be careful of that one. Wish I had kept receipts.

I will definitely try to keep my eyes peeled, not just for them but for everyone on my dash. I realized earlier this year a long term mutual had gone full nationalist during covid shit... and was making rly shitty posts & I had to unfollow /block. I'm not always paying the most attention bc I often get on now and just queue posts then leave. & when I follow so many blogs it definitely becomes a cluster fuck on my dash but at the end of the day, I don't wanna follow anyone who is hateful or shitty and I do appreciate when anyone says something (anon or not) it keeps me on my toes and reminds me to question everyone & everything, so thank you. And yes. Please in the future keep screen shots when people are being crappy. I always end up regretting deleting mine too. You can email them to yourself though. If you wanna delete it from your phone it'll be in your emails if you need it later just search yourself.