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#When I catch you endo
naarinn · 4 months
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That was so uncalled for kdsjfkejf 😭
Endo you can't just trick us, casually drop Demetrius reveal and disappear for 2 weeks WE NEED ANSWERS
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He looks like more Melinda here ↓
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Bro's already in his emo era and he's 13 💀 What did they do to you, boy
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For a second I thought he was an esper as well. It looks like Anya was having a trouble with reading his mind. God knows what is going on in his head. Poor guy tho
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And it seems he had a "normal" relationship with Donovan before too. Just what happened that everyone in this family went insane in someway. War? A tragedy? Damian 💀??? We will never know (at least now)
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poeticpascal · 9 months
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White Lies (Joel Miller x Reader)
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Masterlist | Request here!
Summary: Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: violence, Joel kills 3 dudes (what murdaaah?), descriptions of blood and wounds, stitches, Joel feels guilt and shame but is also very soppy and very in love, fuff and angst all tangled up, descriptions of chronic pain
A/n: I have had a bloody nightmare the last few weeks with suspected endometriosis, which is what inspired me to write this. In my head, reader has endo and the medicine is some sort of contraception or strong painkillers to help her manage it. But it isn't explicitly mentioned so you can imagine whatever you most relate to. Please do let me know what you think, and as always, requests are open!
It’s a harsh winter, even by Boston’s standards.
The QZ is coated in a veil of thick snow, the blizzard that took hold weeks ago now bruising the streets with an icy fist.
Joel pulls his coat tighter around himself, grateful at least for the cover the snowstorm offered, the skies foggy and grey. He can slip through the alleyways much quicker, much quieter beneath the frost. His footsteps are erased almost as soon as he leaves them, and when things get messy, he can soothe his wounds in the freeze.
Which is good, because things get messy a lot.
Not that he’d tell you that. You were too pure, too gentle; not unlike the snow that paints your doorframe now.
No, Joel keeps those things from you. The world has been unkind enough, and if he has one purpose now, it’s to protect that sweetness of yours. To collect it, each golden ray of sunshine that so easily radiates from you, to give it back and let you bask in the warmth of your own soul. 
No one deserves it more than you do. Least not him, and yet you’d given him more love, more sweetness, than he could ever dream of.
That’s why he told you he was working a late shift today - sewage, he thinks he said - rather than where he actually is at 3am, catching his death in an old littered alleyway.
He occasionally shifts to avoid the silver moonlight dripping from the gaps in the fire-escape stairs above him. Tonight’s meeting should be a simple one, free from FEDRA’s strict patrols; he’d done this long enough now to know when, and where, was safest for these things.
He stays on high alert, though. Just in case.
Marco’s late. He isn’t known for being the most competent of dealers, but Joel was getting desperate now, and he was the only crook in the QZ who could get what he needed. He was a small man, a bit pathetic looking, really. But he was smart, and he had connections that even Joel couldn’t make for all his smuggling and dealing.
So when Joel’s supplier told him he couldn’t help him anymore, he didn’t have a choice. That’s what he tells himself, anyway.
“Miller, there ya’ are.” Joel’s snapped out of his thoughts, his looming regret of this whole situation, as Marco strolls down the alley. He grins, in the same cocky way he always did, the sort of grin a man who couldn’t win a fight but has enough men who could wrapped around his finger, doing the dirty work for him.
Joel insisted he come alone. Not because he couldn’t handle his goons; he knew he could. Maybe. But it would cause a scene, and draw attention, to something he very much wanted to keep under wraps.
He’s semi-surprised to see the two men walking behind Marco. Deep down, he’d had some faith that the dealer would stick to his word.
“Quiet the fuck down,” Joel warns, seething through his teeth as his eyes search the alley behind them, making sure they hadn’t been heard. “Who are your friends?”
Marco follows Joel’s gaze towards his companions. “They’re just here to observe.”
The men are the same height as Joel, maybe a little taller. He recognises both from the sleazy speakeasies that lie beneath the floors of the QZ. Where the bad guys go. 
One is bald, with a jagged scar carved across his cheek and over his eye. He’s scowling, unlike Marco and the other man, who looks somewhat softer with thick hair grown to his shoulders and brown eyes that stayed on Joel like bedrock.
“That’s not what we agreed,’ Joel growls.
There’s tension in the air, thick, and they must feel it too because Marco’s henchmen each have a hand hovering near their sides, where silver blades reflect the white of the snow.
“I recall us also agreeing that you’d get your meds in return for the money. But we’re doing things a little differently today.” Joel remains stoic, though his eyes turn dark and angry, the moon’s light no longer illuminating his features. Marco tiptoes slowly towards him, getting so close that Joel can feel his breath and raising a hand to pick a piece of lint from his flannel shirt. “I want my money. But you might have to wait a little longer for your meds.”
Joel reacts then, squaring up to him, stepping forward and clenching his fists. The other men wrap their hands around their blades, anticipating a fight. Marco just laughs.
“‘Scuse me?” Joel asks, though they all know he understood what was going on.
“You’re gonna give me the amount we agreed. And then, you’re gonna speak to one of your guard friends, and cut me a deal. Then you might get your meds.”
Joel’s anger swells inside him like a beast, his previous care to stay hidden long gone as he imagines driving his fist into Marco’s smug, son of a bitch face again and again and again. 
He has to think this through, though. He needs those meds. Marco can see the cogs turning. “Just give me the money, Miller. Don’t make this difficult. You can’t take three of us.”
“No?” Joel retorts, already decided in what he’d do next. “I don’t think it’s worth findin’ out. Give me the meds.”
Marco sighs, dropping his head and stepping away from Joel, leaving him to face his men. “Shame, Joel. You really coulda helped us.”
He nods to his men, who immediately draw their blades and attack. The first lands a punch on his face, the weight of it surprising him as he falls back into the railing. Before he can recover, the other has already plunged a blade through his stomach, right below his ribcage. He controls himself, swallows the yell that claws its way up his throat, tries to think. The cold steel of the rail stabs into his back, and when another fist collides with his cheek and sends him to the floor, he uses it to haul himself up and tackle one of the men - the softer one - to the ground with him.
Marco only stands and watches as Joel throws his weight onto the man and smashes his head into the stone floor. The other grabs his shoulder, spinning him round but Joel’s prepared this time and he dodges the swat of his knife. Instead he throws a punch into his stomach, making him double over which gives Joel the opportunity to grab the knife strapped to his calf and drive it through the bald man’s throat. He stumbles, collapsing to the floor with a choked cry, and Joel turns back just in time to see the other man trying to stand, though the injury to his head makes him dizzy. Joel stands first, easily pushing the man to the ground, and stomping on his head with as much force as his steel-toed boots would let him. Both men stay down.
Marco has regressed into the darkness of the alley, and he looks somehow smaller than usual. He’s pathetic, and if this was any other job, he’d laugh. But this wasn’t a laughing matter, and there was only one target for him; the medication.
The smaller man reaches into his pocket, searching for his gun, but Joel anticipates the move and has already reached him and thrown him against the wall before he can find it. His movements strain the wound in his abdomen, but he doesn’t care. Doesn’t feel it.
Joel’s fist pins Marco to the wall by his throat, making him splutter and flail like a fish out of water.
“Where are the fuckin’ pills, Marco?” He just continues to flail, trying to pull Joel’s hand off of him with both of his own, to no effect. Joel scoffs, throwing him to the floor and dragging his knife out of the now dead henchman’s neck. “If you won’t tell me, I guess I’ve got no use for ya.” He uses his shirt to clean the blade, the flannel already soaked in blood, his own.
“For fuck sake, Marco whines, slightly out of breath. “They’re at my place.”
“There anyone else there?” Joel asks, so nonchalantly that it almost sounds like a passing thought.
“No, no one there. But you’ll need me to get you in.”
Joel looks up again, the now-clean knife held in his fist with a vice-like grip. He stalks towards Marco, ignoring his desperate pleas. 
“Shouldn’t be a problem-” 
With that, he stabs him in the chest, letting him choke and gasp on the floor and searching his pockets for a key. He finds it, and does a quick, final survey of the alleyway. The once perfectly settled snow is disturbed, kicked up in the fight, and deeply stained with blood.
Joel curses, but leaves, only now noticing the burning pain from his torso. He leans against the wall, now stood out in the street, open; but there are no guards. He doesn’t think he’d care. Instead he grabs a fistful of the snow around his feet, packs it into the wound, hissing at the sharp pain of the ice but quickly feeling relief as it numbs him.
This was going to be a long night.
—------------------
It’s another couple of hours or so before he returns. There were, in fact, people at Marco’s place - but Joel knew that would be the case anyway. They weren’t a problem.
He’d showered in Marco’s flat, after taking out the men hanging out in there. Protecting it, he assumed. And he’d found a med pack that let him stitch up the wound to some degree; it was a hack job, but it should do the trick. He’d had worse.
The most important thing was that he found the meds.
The old door of your place creaks as he steps inside, quickly closing it behind him before the cold could enter. It’s futile, really; the wooden pillars are rotten, decaying so badly that the wind sweeps through the cracks with ease, and he can see dustings of snow on the floor around your windows. But he tries anyway.
“Joel?”
There you are.
It’s scary, honestly, what your voice does to him. Even so quiet, so distant from the bedroom upstairs, it lifts the weight from his shoulders that he thought he’d carry forever.
“I’m here, baby. I’m comin’.” He pulls off his shoes, placing them neatly beside the door just how you like, and heads upstairs. His bloodied shirt is long gone, buried in some forgotten corner of the QZ, where he has a collection of discarded items by now.
You don’t reply, he doesn’t expect you to. He reaches your bedroom, gently opening the door and sighing at the sight of you lying there, curled up between mountains of sheets and pillows.
He’d almost think you look peaceful if he didn’t know how much pain you’re in.
“Oh, honey,” he laments, crossing the distance from the door to you and kneeling down beside your head. You open your eyes, though they’re weighed down by exhaustion, and a small smile creeps onto your lips at the sight of the man before you.
“Hi,” you whisper, letting a gentle hand poke out from the duvet and brush his jaw. He can’t help but grin back at you, the total mess that took place just hours ago wiped from his mind completely, and he leans into your touch.
The both of you just stay like that for a moment, your thumb sweeping across his cheek, his eyes never leaving yours. Then you wince, and no matter how much you try to hide it, he can see the wave of pain inflict your body.
“I’ve got your tablets, sweetheart.” He reaches into his pocket, a desperation to his actions now; he hates seeing you like this. You just nod, pushing a meek but honest “thank you” past your lips, so quiet that he almost doesn’t hear it. His heart swells.
Joel presses out one tablet and hands it to you, then picks up the glass of water that stands on your side table, making a mental note to replace it later. You take the pill, grabbing hold of his hand before he can pull it away, and give it a gentle squeeze. He follows your lead and tips the water to your lips once you’ve placed the tablet on your tongue, gently helping you swallow and squeezing your hand right back.
A look of relief washes over your face, and he finally lets himself relax. He stands, letting go of your hand and leaning over to kiss your forehead, before pulling off the clothes he’d taken from Marco’s wardrobe and climbing in beside you.
He only knew heaven in these moments with you, late at night, when your hands reach for him beneath the sheets and your head nuzzles into his neck. It’s no different tonight; he’s quiet, unsure if you’d fallen asleep in those few seconds, and as much as he wishes you’d rest, he can’t deny the way his lips curl when he feels your gentle touch wrap around him.
“How was today? Doing the sewage?”
Joel swallows. “Yeah, yeah. It was fine. Don’t you worry about it, sweetheart.” His arms envelop you, holding you tight against him, one hand drawing gentle circles on your back. He’s lost in the bliss for a moment, letting it wash over him in waves, when your hand brushes his haphazard and you freeze. So does he.
“Joel,” you say; it’s still a whisper, but not the tired kind you’d given him earlier. It’s like you’re too scared to ask. “What’s that?”
He panics, holding you tighter, trying to think. He can’t believe himself for not remembering to cover it, to make sure you didn’t see. 
“There was an accident today. I did some building work before I went to sewage, a pipe fell. Nicked me real bad-” you gasp, forcing yourself to sit up with shaky arms. Joel immediately pulls you back down, his hands grasping your face, staring into your eyes like they held the world inside them. It’s dark, but they glimmer, and he just hopes you can’t see his fear.
“No no. It’s fine, baby. I’m fine. Got seen by the doc, got a couple ‘a stitches. Says i’ll be all good by tomorrow.”
“By tomorrow? Joel that doesn’t sound right-”
He interrupts you. He hates this. “I promise, baby. That’s what she said. I promise.” He wipes a thumb across your cheek, and the way you seem to settle, to believe him, makes him ache. He hates this.
You nuzzle back into his side, placated. You trust him, endlessly, and he hates that he abuses that trust just as much as he needs to protect you. A means to an end, he thinks.
The two of you are silent for a few moments, your hand lay gentle over his wound. Like you’re trying to heal it. He thinks it’s working.
“Thank you for picking up my medicine,” you say.
“It’s okay.” His words are quiet, muffled; he’s got his face buried in your hair now, revelling in your scent, and really, he doesn’t want to talk about this with you. He doesn’t want to lie anymore than he already has.
You’re still oblivious, though. Still sweet.
“I’m so glad you can make my rations cover it. I don’t know what I’d do if they made them more expensive.”
Oh, babygirl, he thinks.
Because your rations don’t cover your medicine. Neither did his. Even combined, they’d hardly cover a drink in the bar these days. He’d seen you work and work and work, in spite of the pain that bloomed in your abdomen and tortured your bones until you could hardly stand up anymore, and he saw the way they laughed in your face and turned you away when you tried to get the help you needed. When you tried to trade your labour for medicine. You were nothing to them.
So he told you he could barter the price down. That it was best if he goes from now on, to make sure you’re not taken advantage of. He takes your rations, stuffs them right back in the savings pot you keep above the shelves in your kitchen, and leaves to make whatever underground deals he needs to in order to get those meds. And you didn’t know a thing.
He must’ve been quiet for a while, because you continue. “And I’m glad you don’t do those scary things anymore.”
That gets his attention. “Scary things?”
“Yeah. Like, the smuggling and stuff.” You take a breath, tighten your arms around his waist. “I mean, I know why you did it. I’m glad you were able to look after yourself.”
Joel curses to himself, unable to wipe the tears that brimmed in his eyes as you spoke, because that would mean letting go of you.
“But I’m also glad you don’t do that anymore. You go out, and you work, even the horrible sewage shifts like tonight.” You giggle, but Joel can’t even force himself to smile. Shame consumes him.
“I’m proud of you, Joel.”
He’s silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He feels like shit.
If you notice his stillness, you don’t mention it. That alone makes his heart ache; you’d always been so understanding, so careful to make sure he’s okay while knowing exactly how to handle his feelings.
It’s odd, really, how fiercely you protect one another. He doesn’t let the darkness of the world so much as touch you, and you extract the horrors from his veins like a vacuum, making him forget the damage was ever even there.
His eyes flitter down, watching you drift asleep, finally at peace and free from pain. He exhales.
He’d never feel good about lying to you. But some things, he thinks, are worth it.
You are worth it.
And so he brushes away the hair that’s fallen over your eyes, trying to fight the droopiness of his own so he can keep them on you for just a second longer. But sleep overtakes him, and the only reason he lets himself fall into dreamland, is because he knows he’ll find you there, too.
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lynaferns · 10 months
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FNAF Steampunk AU
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That I never finished because I couldn't figure out what was going to be the story and character dynamics, and the role of each character, and yeah… I also spend many days writing, rewriting and changing thing, I didn't even get to finish the first draft and I got artblock.
I think my problem in the first place was that I wanted to make this AU stick to canon. A mistake, I know lmao. Later I thought of just making up most of the things but having to rewrite what I had already done dismotivated me.
So I thought of at least showing this character height chart I made a year ago. And maybe, idk, some of the wips that I never finished.
Maybe some notes and interactions I wrote under a cut.
If you ever want to ask me about what I had planned for this AU go ahead! Some main things about this story are:
All of the events of the story happens in a week (or so).
Gregory acts a little more scared than what is shown in the game.
DCAs arms can stretch up to 100 ft (30 m). He bends them to write or make shapes in the air.
Sun has some nowlege in animatronic repairs and maintenance due to being abandonent, having to repair himself.
Vanessa/Vanny have a biger role than in the game.
Burntrap also apeared more.
All animatronics are equiped with dart guns (for safety!). There are some places that require to leave the dart guns behind to continu.
Pizza is scuare (this is not important, I just felt like adding it).
Also, first idea and some doodles.
Gregory gets to escape to the locker rooms leaving Chica behind him. While searching for an exit Gregory gets surprised by Sun who was searching for him, and out of fright takes out the camera and flashes his bad eye damaging him for a few seconds.
Sun- "you were carring an object capable of blinding animatronics with you and you didn't use it against Chica to escape?!"
Gregory- "I didn't remember! I was more focused on running than taking a camera out of my pocket!"
Sun-pointing at himself with his hands- "And you had to remember when you saw ME?!"
Monty grabs Moon by the neck and throws him like a stick doing a spinning motion on the air, Roxy chases after him. She comes back carrying Moon with her mouth.
Freddy has an existential crisis by seeing endos. Moon is there awkwardly watching him. He gives him a pat on the back.
The auxiliary arm of the protective cylinder is broken, Gregory has to repair Sun manually. Trying to put his face plate back the nose falls off and Gregory nervously catches it juggling. They look between each others and the nose.
Sun-"..." "Gregory"
Gregory-"..."
Sun-"come on, say it"
Gregory-"..." "Got your nose~"
Vanessa is explaining something to the group. Moon is behind her copying her movements. The others are trying not to laugh. She notices and throws a flashlight at Moon.
They divide in groups. Moon gets on Monty's backs like a gremlin.
Moon-"go gator boy"
Monty-"I hate you"
One last, this is a whole scene that needs a bit of context. The current team members are Gregory, Freddy, Sun/Moon. They have figured out that the safe mode prevents animatronics from acting weird/hostile (found out the hard way in an encounter with moon and a fuse box). Though Moon seems not to attack Gregory anymore they wanted to test it with the rest of the band and found Chica, some things happened, they left her in her room in sleep mode and went to roxy raceway. This begins when they head to the west arcade to repair the service bot's head and on their way they encounter Chica out of the sleep mode but more normal.
(Forgive my poor writing, this was more of a script)
The four of them stare at each other until one decides to react.
Sun–”HELLLLO” Chica– holding her left arm–”A- Hiii, umm” Freddy– “He-hello Chica! What got you here??” Chica– “I-uh…patrol? I- think?? There… There is a child lost in the pizzaplex and we were, like- told to go find him, remember?” “Actually, wait, why are you out of your room? I thought maintenance put you on lock down- And what is the Daycare attendant doing out of the Daycare? it’s not the end of the hour yet- Oh!”–she just saw Gregory behind Freedys legs–”hey! you got the kid-”–flashback of the garbage compactor–”GET HIM”–she points at him with a dart gun– Sun–gets in the way–”WOAH WOAH WOW easy there!” Freddy–”Chica- wait! It’s ok he’s with us” Chica–”T-that-that kid is a menace! He- we should-HAVE to take him to the officer Vanessa–” Gregory–*gasp * Freddy & Sun– “NO!” Chica–”????wha-?
Freddy– “We must not take him to her.” Chica- “You guys kidding?” “These are literal-plain-instructions that you are- just-” “That kid threw me through the garbage compactor!” Gregory–”You tried to kill me!” Chica–”what?! No! I couldn’t do that, that’s against my programming!” Sun–”Uuumm, about that miss-” Chica–”YOU”–points at Sun with the gun– Sun–”?!” Chica–”You were there too!” “You have been with this kid all this time!” Sun–hands up-”Iwastryingtostophim” Freddy–”Chica, calm down, I know what this looks like but-” Sun–”OHMYGOSHWAITGUYS, she’s not hostile!” Chica–”wha-?” Freddy–”what…?” Gregory–”what??” “She’s literally pointing at us with a gun” Sun–standing next to Chica, pointing at her while looking at Freddy and Gregory–”I just noticed! her behavior changed-!” Chica–redirects the gun to re-target him–”you’re getting too close” Sun–ignores that–”She’s back to normal! That means the safe mode worked, we can use this!”
Chica–”What are you talking about?” Freddy–”You’re right! That’s a relief” “right Gregory?” Gregory–”...Yyyyyeah? I guess, yeah” Chica–”seriously, what do you all mean?” Freddy–”Well, It’s a little long story-” Sun–”And we will explain it to you!” “BUT not now, we are in a rush!” “To repair this bot-head so Gregory can ride the racecar” Chica–”...” “‘you serious?” Sun–”yep!” “Say, Gregory! You still want to ride?” Gregory–”uh-yeah” Sun–”Then let’s go!” “TO THE WEST ARCADE!”–grabs Freddy and Gregory and takes them there–”You can come if you want~!” Chica–”...” “OH- GOLLY, WELL” “I guess I’ll just go with you even though I don’t understand what is happening! And no one is going to give me an explanation!” Freddy–”-I promise that I’ll give you a wide explanation once we are done with all this… But in a more private place”
There are actually a couple more of scenes before this one (and after) but I'm not very confident of showing those (or any actually but I don't want this to be buried in my documents and forgoten because I really want to at least make a decent story)
Also, I know that the canon heights for the animatronics are like 6 ft but I prefered my height variety headcanons. Maaaaaybe they are a little too tall looking at it now that I look at it again but, eh.
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 9 months
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Could I request a reader who is an adult probably scavenging some parts or an ex maintenance worker who rescues Cassie with the help of roxie and Monty who was fixed by the reader.
As the young girl came to her senses, she could only groan in pain, although it was violently cut short when she began coughing due to the surrounding dust.
She then felt a warm liquid trickling down the side of her head, eventually landing on her bottom lip where she tasted iron.
Spitting it out in disgust, she could see it was crimson red.
'What happened to me...?'
Cassie tried to move, but quickly found that her leg was pinned underneath rubble, and above that was a slab of concrete that would be impossible for her to lift up on her own. She still tried to free herself, only to stop when she felt pain.
Her eyes eventually found the smashed maintenance elevator she was thrown out of, her memories becoming clearer. 'That's right...the elevator..'
Soon her gaze fell upon the shattered Roxy-Talkie device that was once her only connection with the outside world.
Her only connection with Gregory.
Or...at least who she thought was Gregory, only for it to be a lie.
And just as the real one managed to contact her and save her from that evil endoskeleton who was mimicking him, he betrayed her by dropping the damn elevator.
"Th-That jerk...!" She coughed. "He-"
'Cassie! Is that you?!"
"Cassie! If you can hear us, hang on!"
Blinking, she turned her head to see a familiar wolf coming to her rescue, alongside an adult who looked like one of the Fazbear technicians.
"R-Roxy.."
"Cassie! Thank goodness. We thought you were a goner.." Relieved, Roxy began shoving aside whatever she could to reach Cassie. From pipes to rocks to metal sheets.
"I-I thought you were, too." The girl shuddered, feeling her tugging on her arms.
But she remained stuck and cried out in pain when Roxy tried pulling her out, to which she immediately let go. "What's wrong? I-Is your leg broken?"
"No. She's just trapped under a giant concrete slab..you're not gonna be able to lift that, Roxy. That means you're up, big guy."
"Leave it to me, boss."
Cassie felt her blood run cold upon hearing the other familiar voice...one that she wishes she didn't hear.
"Grrrah....rrrAHHH!!!"
Within seconds, the slab was lifted, and she was free to look up at whoever saved her.
It was Monty, his upper body now affixed to a glamrock endo's lower half. He loomed over her, teeth gnashed together as he stared back down, looking annoyed. "I can't hold this all da-"
"AHH!! G-GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!" With a scream, she scrambled to her feet despite being in immense pain, determined to get as far away from the monstrous gator that stalked her all night.
She couldn't let him catch her.
Not again.
And so she ran-
Until she crashed into you, nearly knocking you over.
"Cassie! It's alright!" You kneeled down, holding her closely as her panicked breathings kept getting worse--to the point of hyperventilation. "It's okay. He's not gonna hurt you, shhh."
"B-But he's...h-he's...he's....!!!" She struggled to finish.
"Cassie, it's okay. Monty's on our side now. Look."
Hearing the comforting voice of her favorite animatronic, she slowly calmed down enough to look back, seeing Roxy standing there beside Monty, who had dropped the slab.
She blinked several times, confused at why he was so calm now and wasn't trying to chase her. "How did he...? He was in the water, and...I fried him-"
"It seems like you pushed the factory reset button on him," you spoke up. "Whatever you did worked pretty well. He's got his old personality back, although I don't think he remembers what exactly happened.."
Cassie gazed at you. "I-I'm sorry..who are you?"
"[Y/n]." Smiling, you set your hands on her shoulders. "I used to work with your dad, and-"
However, you fell silent when she began sniffling, eyes watering up as her lips trembled, clearly trying to stifle her sobs. You frowned and hugged her closely. "Oh, honey.."
That was all she needed to burst into tears, burying her face into your jacket as the stress of her journey finally came crashing down on her--in the emotional sense, this time.
She had no words to described how hurt and betrayed she felt; all she could do was sob and sob as she clung to you.
Roxy almost ran to comfort her on instinct, but Monty held her back by the arm and shook his head, assuring her that you both needed the space. The last thing she needed was two dangerous-looking animatronics hovering around her.
He knew that very well.
She reluctantly listened, watching as you picked up Cassie and allowed her to hug you around the neck.
"I-I wanna go home.." She hated how pathetic she sounded, though it was the truth.
She was so very tired.
"We'll get you home, I promise." You reassured her. "We found a way out."
"B-But..what about that endo?" Sniffling, she raised her head to look at you, wiping at her smudged makeup. "I-It's still here..what if it gets out, too-?"
"Oh, it ain't going nowhere anytime soon."
Confused, Cassie glanced back at Monty, her eyes widening upon seeing the head of the Mimic in his claws. "My trophy." He grinned from ear-to-ear, before attaching it to his hip.
You chuckled. "He tore that thing up in two seconds flat. It didn't even stand a chance."
"We both kinda ganged up on it." Roxy nudged her bandmate's elbow. "Nobody messes with the Glamrocks..especially us."
"Haha. Got that right!"
"That's good.." Cassie muttered, finally calming down as she realized he was indeed back to his old self, relieved the Mimic was no longer a threat. "But..what about the elevator?"
"It's not our only way up. If I know one thing about this place, it's that we got too many damn stairwells." You huffed. "Fortunately Monty cleared a path to one that was hidden. That's how we got down here and found you."
"Yeah, I did that." The gator boasted. "You guys should be thanking me!"
"We will after we get out of this dump." Roxy reminded him, rolling her nonexistent eyes. "I need to find Gregory so I can....." She paused, feeling as though you're staring at her, before she changed her wording carefully. "....tell him what a bad "friend" he is."
"I'll tell him that myself, too.." Cassie grumbled, resting her head against your shoulder. "Can we go now?"
"Yeah." Nodding, you took out your flashlight. "Let's not stay here any longer than we need to."
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fruitzbasket · 1 year
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this arrangement was never mentioned again but you will not catch me off guard, mr endo. when the time comes i will be READY
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rassicas · 8 months
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What temperature do you think ink is? I think its cold cause squids and octopuses are cold-blooded and theyre just spewing their insides out basically, what are your thoughts?
this is something i've thought about! cold-blooded ≠ cold blood If an animal is cold-blooded, or an ectotherm, it means they rely on external sources to regulate their body temperature. The body temperature of a fish in 20C water is going to be 20C. While real cephalopods are ectotherms, evidence points towards inklings and octolings being endotherms, or warm-blooded. They sweat, as mentioned in Dexterity vs. Endurance dialogue, and they wear things like sweatbands and towels meant to catch sweat. They can also keep themselves warm or cool with clothes, as the Grizzco slopsuits have fans to prevent overheating, Barazushi's whole branding is based around having clothes for different climates, etc. Clothing like that doesn't do anything for ectotherms.
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They also seem to be quite active and can eat a lot, while ectotherms are generally more conservative about their energy usage and don't need to eat as much.
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before someone says "what about the cold-blooded ability, or shiver saying she's cold blooded??" both of those cases are 100% idiomatic. When thinking about inklings and Octolings and whatever is happening with their biology, it's good to keep in mind that they are. freaks. Endotherms can only endure a smaller ranger of internal temperatures, but inkfish seem to have some tolerance for some incredibly high temperatures: when they respawn they get highly heated and pressurized. The spawn points look like espresso machines for a reason: they are the coffee.
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So while having endothermic traits, maybe they could truly be....something else. Maybe something in between endo and ectotherms (there are a handful of animals like this)? Back to the topic of ink temperatures, considering the spawn points and the inkfish that come out of them run hot, the ink in battle is likely the same, as unpleasant as that may sound. There are some weapons that alter the temperature of the ink that comes out of them though.
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The Tri-stringer is equipped with a cooling system, and the shots you fire are frozen ink. The explosher is based on a jet heater, and the ink inside is extremely hot.
tl;dr, with some exceptions, inkling ink is likely warm
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jaehymrk · 2 months
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reporting live
trent alexander arnold x fem!reader. fluff. Trent who was rather interested in the reporter than the actual report he had to give.
Time was ticking on a thin thread for you as your supervisor might call you within five minutes if you do not interview, at least, one player of liverpool. You have been in the reporting field for at least seven months and you now also have juniors yet for you to move like an amateur was hurting your pride.
You are social issues reporter, going around different cities, and write an interesting jaw-dropping report then, call it a day. Sport reporting was not your forte, it is almost like . . fork found in your backpack. Simply out of place. The million dollar question ringing in your head was why were you here in Anfield Stadium at the first place but you face-palmed yourself on accepting to cover for your senior who was in her maternity leave. You had always hated whenever you had to cover for a reporter doing sports. No particular reasoning, just childhood trauma.
You saw all the liverpool footballer players walking out from the dressing room after a hot win. You crossed path with the tall, charismatic dutch leader of liverpool to the small growing liverpool superstar Endo but you had your goal set on the biggest prize, the player with a fresh trim, and his headphone on as every reporter tried catching his attention.
Trent Alexander Arnold, the star of Anfield and liverpool. Your supervisor might as well, move you to the Sports section if you got to interview Trent; you were not looking forward to that but a lady has bills to pay. You sighed as you had to save your job before it slipped away from your grip.
Just one interview, anyway. What is the harm? You held the sleeve of his tracker suit lightly, you needed this, you needed a bang.
"Great win in Anfield, innit? Please let us know about how are you feeling about the win?" You asked reaching your microphone out to the man. His gaze froze, so did his feet in front of you. It could be the audacity to block his way toward the team bus or the glitch of mischievousness in his eyes that flickered on your red hue cheeks.
Trent chuckled as he moved slightly forward removing his headphone, your eyes set on the man completely compelled from the bridge of his nose, deep doe eyes to his captivating smile. Everything about the man was setting you up for a failure, realizing how much of a bad idea this was.
"Yeah, yeah it is great team win but to become the last scorer for the win is a different achievement, so I am proud and happy." Trent answered, his eyes never leaving yours for a minute. His heavy scouser accent oozed out every word as Trent kept his smile intact.
His eyes glanced at you, noting the rose hue on your cheeks, one hand slightly shaking to hold onto the microphone and the other holding onto the notebook. "Come here, love. Let me hold that for you." He mumbled gripping on the microphone as your fingers brushed on his and you were secretly praying to every god that was staring upon you to not show your slight jump after the touch.
"Okay so-" You paused, clearly out of the atmosphere as you were in no place to check out players nor drool out your delusional ideas when you have a very angry supervisor waiting on the clock and an impatient cameraman behind you. "Yeah, I cannot lie, you . . you were great in the field." You complimented him quickly but you were not lying about it. With the long passes, and all the chances Trent created for the team; anyone can tell he was born to become a football player who succeeds with legacy.
"You were watching?" Trent asked raising his eyebrows in question. Utterly confused, you paused to flip your notebook to look at the man in front of you. With the silent eye contact, your neck burnt hot. You nodded sternly, a thin smile on your face. "Of course, I was watching, I mean, I am a reporter, can't be missing out on the main point of the whole show."
Trent kissed his teeth, he smirked, "So, tell me more. How was I on the field? Did you like what you see?" He winked at your direction. Your mind went blank, in what position does he have to be to flirt openly with a camera panning on his face? The burning hot sensation on your back came straight up and your heart beating fast was not helping to form words, "Like . . like I said, you were great. You are the star of liverpool after all." You sweetly smiled.
Trent had the cheeky smile on his face, his eyes lingering on your lips before glancing upward to your eyes. He knew what he was doing to you moving closer to the barrier between the reporters and the players.
You cleared your throat. "You are also the player of the match." You trailed off; Trent leaned closer. Call it the stadium being loud for him to not hear you clearly or he simply wanted to be close to you, to mesmerize the small moles on your face, to engulf himself on your warm scent.
"Are you excited for your next big game against Manchester City?" You inquired. All the back and forth staring and silence with Trent will not colour your supervisor impressed at all. You need to interview someone else that will not . . leave you speechless in minutes.
"Well it depends, to be very honest with you. Will you be in the next game?" Trent further pestered.
You furrowed your eyebrows in slight annoyance at the player for making everything about you while the whole fanbase would want to know more about him.
The cameraman behind you almost dropped his equipment taken back by the question. You did not know . . how to respond to the player who was attacking you with his doe eyes. Nervously, you laughed, "I cannot be certain about that. Are you and your team ready? It is one of the anticipated game of the season." You diverted his topic back to what you needed at the first place.
Trent stared at you without responding to your question, you quickly started shaking your leg anxiously as your eyes lingered at almost all the players leaving to go back to the training ground from the stadium. Your chances were blowing every second Trent silent in front of you.
During this period, you started considering finding other jobs, as you started making mental notes. With thoughts looming around your head, you did not come to realize Trent walked a few steps toward you, nibbling on his bottom teeth. He removed the microphone away from his lips, coming forward for a conversation that is sealed between you and the liverpool player.
You flinched at his hot breathe hitting your skin, as he gently held onto your forearm to keep you in position knowing you will move away from his contact.
You coughed away from his grip. "Have a great day then. We cannot wait till what magic liverpool can bring to Anfield once again."
"And you too, have a great day but i did not quite catch your name." He inquired with his wicked smirk playing on his face. He wants me gone, jobless. Clearly, with zero intention to support my penniless lifestyle.
You smiled, "If you do goal against Manchester City, I will let you know."
"Should we seal the deal with a kiss then, perhaps?"
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piracytheorist · 3 months
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There's just something about reading the Spy x Family manga in a printed version that the digital version can't beat no matter how more easily accessible it is.
Depending on what platform people use to read the digital version, they may get one page at a time, and even if they get two, most people don't have screens big enough to properly "enjoy" two-page sets.
That isn't a problem with a physical copy. You instantly get the two page spread every time, and can easily adjust how close you're holding the volume in order to read the dialogues.
And that has a great impact in experiencing the story in the way Endo (probably) intended.
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Like, look at this two-page set. The very first things that catch your attention when you turn to those pages are Anya's and Yor's smiling faces. There's very little dialogue all around those pages, and the two bottom panels are the biggest, with the main focus being how happy and relaxed those two characters are. The last panel is Yor's face - the reader is meant to turn the page with that being their last image of the set - so practically the "experience" of those two pages starts with those smiling faces and also ends with them.
And then you turn the page, and the only silent panel is of Twilight's eyes; only him, only his eyes, with a yearning, melancholic expression.
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A stark contrast to the previous spread. Anya and Yor side by side - Twilight is alone. Anya and Yor full-face - Twilight's eyes only. Anya and Yor smiling - Twilight brooding. Anya and Yor get nearly half their pages' length - Twilight gets about 1/5 of his. Anya and Yor in bright light - Twilight shown in a darker light.
Panel placing plays a huge role in graphic stories. You don't just place any panel wherever, from whatever angle and with whatever dimensions. It's a whole part of the art and so I don't doubt that that placement of Anya and Yor's faces was done in order to contrast the small, "sneaky" placement of Twilight's eyes in the next spread.
This is a moment that Twilight has no idea how much vulnerability he's exposing, just by the way he's looking at Yor. And even that is tied to the way his panel is shown - small, quick, as if not really meant to be seen. Because he's a spy and all that.
Again, contrasting Anya and Yor, because they don't feel the need to hide their emotions. They feel free to express their happiness, and that's why they get a full focus on their respective pages.
Also, Anya and Yor are side by side. Anya accepted Yor as her mother from the very beginning, and Yor has also accepted her place in the Forger family, and so they're shown next to each other to show how they already consider each other family. On the other hand you've got Twilight, who is still deep in denial and feels he has to keep his distance from them, and so he's shown on his own.
Along with watching the anime first, I've also decided to have my first experience of the manga in a physical form, and that has been a very telling experience in that matter. It really hit home, to see those beautiful, detailed panels of a happy Anya and Yor side by side, and then to turn the page and to see a melancholic Twilight on his own and only his eyes, as if he's hiding - even though I knew it was coming, since I'd already watched the respective anime episode!
Anya and Yor feeling free to enjoy and relax and feel, and Twilight closing himself up despite the yearning in his eyes.
There's so much that can be said with silent panels, if one knows how to place and present them correctly. And it seems like Endo has an amazing grasp at that, and the printed version of the manga makes that even clearer.
(again, anime "only" here, don't spoil me for the rest of the manga please 😁)
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jaegeraether · 2 months
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Sunsets and footballers (Part 69)
Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson (12)
Masterlist (other parts here)
Join our WOSO Discord chat! Link in bio :)
((**2.3k**))
Immediately following Part 65 with Leah and Jordan.
((**Sorry for the lack of posting. Life and... procrastination getting in the way. I'll try to post more, starting with smaller chapters. Much love! Jae.**))
Leah POV
Leah woke to excited kisses on her face, expressed with an overeager tongue. She chuckled herself awake as Blu attacked her in a way she hadn’t experienced in a while. She turned her head away but he persisted.
“Alright, alright, I’m up Blu.” She said, sitting from where she’d been lying in YFN’s bed. They’d almost fallen asleep on the couch, but her cramps and Jordan’s empathetic looking after her had kept them awake until the end of the movie. They’d both reluctantly parted ways, but at least she was allowed to stay over. She took the win with that.
“You’re such a pain, you are,” she teased as she pet Blu. He rolled onto his back, his short legs bent as he offered his belly for her to rub. He always did love belly rubs. “Argh, I missed you.” She groaned into his belly as she kissed him.
She heard footsteps in the kitchen and yelled out. “Did you send him in here?!”
Jordan poked her head into the room with a smirk. She was always so happy in the mornings, no matter how tired she may have felt. “Well he couldn't reach the door handle by himself, Lea.”
“You little sneak,” she replied with a grin.
“Breakfast?”
“Yes please, I’ll be out in a minute.”
She shrugged. “Take your time, the shower is right there. It’ll be good for your body…”
For her endo.
Leah nodded in a grateful agreement from where she was half-sitting up, still rubbing Blu’s belly. “Thanks Jord.”
She showered making sure to soak in the warm water and when she returned to YFN’s bedroom, a few of Leah’s old clothes were on the bed. Clothes she hadn’t seen in over a year. Her heart sunk knowing that Jordan had kept them this entire time. She put her old clothes on and smelled them. It smelled like the laundry liquid they use to use when they lived together in London. She made her way out to the kitchen where Jordan was plating up breakfast.
“Good timing! I was just finishing,” she smiled and then paused with the spatula in her hand at the question on Leah’s face. She sighed. “I couldn’t bring myself to throw them out. I have a few more of your clothes if you’d like me to pack them up for you.”
The offer made her heart sink even further. “No… no you keep them.” She replied quickly and then followed up with an excuse. “I mean, who knows, I might need them for another sleepover if I’m lucky.”
“If you’re lucky,” she murmured as her attention went back to plating up the food. Leah couldn’t help but see the satisfied look on her face from her answer though – like she wanted to keep her clothes.
They sat at the dining room table.
“Oh, I forgot the cutlery,” Jordan said as she put their plates down.
“I’ve got it.” Leah collected the silverware from the kitchen and was about to return as Blu hopped excitedly towards her. Seeing him so eager to play with her and actually remember her was everything to Leah. She faked a jump towards him and then ran around the kitchen counter, Blu in pursuit with his tiny legs. Jordan laughed amusedly from the table.
“He’s actually catching me!” Leah exclaimed.
“He’s gotten quicker!”
She let him chase her around the island a few times until Blu began to wear out and that’s when she let him catch her. She faked falling down and he leapt on her with more kisses. It was perfect.
She sat up and kissed and pet him as if making up for lost time. “I really, really missed him.” She admitted. Leah was always stoic, always had her emotions in check. Only with Jordan had she ever properly opened up, and for the past year, she’d closed that emotional side out to deal with not having her around. And so it was hard for her to open up, to admit her feelings, to admit she missed him and Jordan and their life, but she did it because she trusted that her vulnerable self would be safe with her. It always had been, even before they were together.
“Do you want to see him more?” Jordan asked. Leah looked up from her place on the ground. What exactly was she offering?
“I’d like to see you both more.”
“I’d like that too, but Lea, I… I need time.”
Jordan was sticking up for herself. She was proud of her.
“I know, Jord. Take as much time as you need – I’m here to stay. Whatever you want, whatever you need.”
Jordan played with the eggs on her plate. “It’s a bit harder now that we’re in different cities…”
Leah knew she was looking for reassurance. “YFN and Lucy do just fine in different countries.”
“They’ve been through a lot in a small amount of time,” she sighed, suddenly empathetic for them. Jordan was always the one who felt more and wasn’t afraid to show it. “Lucy messaged me this morning. She’s organising a surprise party for YFN’s birthday.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, she sort of threw out the idea of us both going to London today to meet up with them.”
“YFN won’t be suspicious? It is a ‘surprise’ party, right?”
“Yeah, but Lucy has worked it so she’ll be busy all day with players and things, which will give her a chance to chat to them all while she’s distracted. Something about us going into the Lumos office?”
“Oh, she was saying she had that pencilled in for this week sometime… wait, was it Lucy who invited the girls over to their house last night?”
Jordan smirked. “Yeah, she’s so sneaky. She had a few of the girls ask YFN about interviews and photos, and then suggest today because it’s everyone’s day off after the matches yesterday.”
“The confidence of that woman. How sneaky,” she agreed.
“I think she has to be to avoid YFN finding out. She’s really good at picking up on things,” she smiled at her plate.
Leah wondered at her expression. “Do you miss her being around?”
Jordan nodded. “Yeah, but I know London is best for her right now. I do wonder if she’ll come back to Birmingham and live when she’s healed. I hope she does. She’s really good to be around. She makes me a better person, and she’s always there for me.” She cleared her throat as if she’d opened up too much. Her eyes met Leah’s and just as quickly flickered away.
“What about your birthday?” Leah murmured. It was also coming up soon, just a week after YFN’s.
“It’s a joint birthday that Lucy is planning. She knows YFN and I would both love that. And I’m not too fussed on surprises…”
Jordan distracted herself by pushing the food around her plate, though Leah knew that look on her face. She was turning 31 and didn’t want to admit how it made her feel.
Leah reached out hesitantly and laid her hand over Jordan’s. She paused her actions and stared at their hands, smiling smally. They both knew what it meant.
“Lea… do you want to go to Lumos today with me?”
“Yeah… yeah alright,” Leah chuckled nervously, not expecting the offer. More time with Jordan.
“I’ll text YFN…” Jordan said as she withdrew her hand and typed the message.
“Do you have training tomorrow? You can stay the night if you’d like.”
Their eyes met and they both spoke without words. Were they ready for that? Another night together? Should she stay at Lucy and YFN’s or Katie and Caitlin’s instead? Would it be too much to be in Leah’s apartment again? Jordan’s phone dinging broke their thoughts.
“Oh… it’s a pet party. She going to do a whole lot of interviews with everyone’s dogs and cats. She asked if we could bring Blu-” Jordan said, ending the sentence abruptly at the face that she said ‘we could bring Blu’ and not ‘I could bring Blu.’ Leah felt like her heart was simultaneously healing, and feeling like it might explode all at once. Jordan looked up at her. “Can Blu stay too?”
Leah was nodded before she ended the sentence. “Of course he can. I think we should bring one of his little outfits to wear for the interview too.”
“Well we do want him to be comfy, right?” She teased.
Leah did the dishes while Jordan packed her overnight bag and clothes for the interview. During that time, YFN had called for an ETA, and during the conversation had offered for Lucy and YFN to drop Jordan at her house on their way through to Manchester the next day, to save Jordan the drive. She sounded a bit flustered with the last minute chaos that was unknowingly instigated by Lucy, but she tended to work quickly and efficiently, so they both knew the call was because she didn’t have time to text.
“See you two soon! Love you!”
They packed the car, moving symbiotically like they used to. Leah packed YFN’s things, Jordan packed her clothes, Leah went back for Blu and his things while Jordan did another once over through the apartment to make sure nothing was left behind or left on. Then, they were on their way. Leah’s country music began to play through the speakers and she was caught unawares, fiddling with the buttons to change it. Jordan caught her fingers with her own.
“It’s okay, I miss this.” She smiled as she let her fingers stroke Leah’s reassuringly before letting go. Her skin felt it was tingling and she immediately wanted her to touch her again. The sudden closeness wasn’t at all unwelcome, though it did make Leah nervous in the best possible way. She had three more hours in a car with Jordan and another night together in her London apartment. The thought made her smile as they began to talk.
They drove straight to Leah’s apartment, only stopping once for Blu along the way, though he was good as usual and slept for most of the drive. It had been just like it was when they were together, though this time, Leah appreciated Jordan more. The way she spoke about things she loved, the way she misunderstood jokes, the way she sung, and way that she laughed. She despised herself for ever taking Jordan’s company for granted.
The worried tension that Leah held in her shoulders eased also, her not having realised that she’d been so on her game to make sure she didn’t make a mistake with her. Now it was back to the good old days. Just the two of them.
Leah drove them straight to her apartment where they unpacked and got changed for the media. She noticed Jordan trying to hide the fact that she was looking around to see if anything changed but it hadn’t. Leah made sure she’d kept her apartment the exact same as when they’d both furnished and rearranged it together. It never felt like home without her and so it made sense to her to keep it the same.
They arrived at Lumos to a car park ridiculously packed, with several cars they noticed. Someone guided them in and as soon as Leah had parked, they both looked at each other as if to say ‘what have we gotten ourselves into?’
A Lumos worker greeted them and led them to the entrance. They followed the sound and found the large, main room full of office desks there, though nobody was working. Everybody was standing, drinks in hands and food being walked around. It was like an office party. A very large office party. Since when did they have so many employees?
Many heads turned towards them, some they knew and some they didn’t, though none of the Lumos staff or players managed to beat Jen Beattie to the pair.
“O Captain, my Captain,” she grinned as she approached. “Jordy! How are you?”
Jen took them both into a hug at the same time and Leah enjoyed being pushed up against Jordan, her arm coming around her and lightly pressing her back. She looked down and saw her little smirk.
The three split as Beth shouted her way over.
“Hello you two! Y’alright?” She grinned and let Jordan know how much she missed her with a hug. “Has anyone give you the rundown?”
“No…” Jordan admitted.
Beth gave Jen a look.
“Hey, I barely had time for a hug before you smashed your way over.”
Beth took in a deep breath as if to prepare herself for a speech. “Alright well these are the offices and conference rooms, that one up the end is YFN’s but I don’t think she’s seen it yet… the company did it as a surprise but she’s been so bloody busy that I think Lucy rolled her right past it,” they laughed at the idea of Lucy pushing her wheelchair past it knowing how embarrassed she would have been, “and everybody is downstairs in the studio, so we’ll head down there.. everyone’s been waiting for you two you know! Let’s go!” She started walking. “Oh and the wall…” she pointed to the large purple wall covered in signatures made with yellow markers. Players upon players.
“…that’s so cool…” Jordan interrupted. Leah agreed. It was definitely something.
“…yeah YFN wants everyone to sign it so you can do that when you get back but for now let’s just go find the woman of the hour.”
Leah and Jen rolled their eyes at each other and laughed at Beth overeager as per usual. They followed her towards the music blaring from the basement not knowing what to expect, though whatever they expected couldn’t have exactly prepared them for the chaos of the Lumos content studio and the amount of players that were there.
“Oh… shit.” Jordan said with wide eyes as she reached out and clutched onto Leah's hand.
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emeritusemeritus · 2 months
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Hello!! If it isn't too much to ask, could you make a Fred fic with reader on her period? Mine are absolutely excruciating, especially in the first two days, to the point of crying on the floor and stuff :(( it's totally okay if you don't want to, I just like to imagine Fred trying his hardest to pamper his s/o (and probably freak out a bit because honestly, periods are a nightmare men will never understand). Have a nice day ♡
Anon, it would be my pleasure! I’m so sorry you’re suffering, I had an endo flare up last week that nearly sent me to A&E so you have my full sympathy. You know that feeling when you could destroy the world and everyone in it but then your period starts and you realise that it’s been that all along? 🖤
Warnings: mentions of periods, menstural cycle, PMS, blood, pain. Best friend George, Fred is a sweetheart.
Words: 3.4k
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You'd had a really terrible day, a horrible, never-ending bore of a day, at least in your mind. It started from the very second you woke up, alone in bed without Fred beside you. You'd slept through your first alarm and had nearly been late for an interview you'd had scheduled for months within the Department of Mysteries. You'd taken the visitors entrance to the Ministry to acquire your required visitors badge and had been held up by some Muggle incident that had rendered London at a near standstill.
The interview, thankfully, had gone well but you couldn't help but fixate on the discomfort you felt in yourself the entire time. Your clothes felt uncomfortable and restrictive and you felt bloated to the point that it was showing through your clothes.
You'd had plans to meet with Arthur after your interview for a cuppa and a catch-up at the small cafeteria whilst he took his break, something you'd been looking forward to all week. You made your way back down to Level two where the department of magical law enforcement was and walked through the mini atrium until you located the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office, only to be informed by Perkins that Arthur was running a tad late, caught up with something that required his immediate attention. Though this was far from unfamiliar, your temper had flared and you had barely managed to contain it, choosing instead to silently seethe as you waited in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs near the main desk. You weren't mad at Arthur by any means, you don't think you'd even been mad at him, but having to stay in uncomfortable clothing and wait when you were already having a bad day was just irritating you further and further as time dragged on, not helped by the incessant ticking from the muggle cuckoo clock on the wall that was driving you mad.
Arthur finally emerged twenty minutes later, apologising profusely as he grabbed his coat and ushered you back into the lift, a bright smile on his face as he began asking you about how your interview went and how his son was. You'd spent a nice half an hour together having a cup of tea and a freshly made slice of cake, something he was keeping a secret from Molly, but as you parted and made your way out of the Ministry to travel home, your mood had almost immediately soured again.
The street was still busier than usual, the noise of people shouting and car horns honking were essentially non stop and you couldn't wait to get home and relax away from the chaos. You had to stop by the shop on the way home for some ingredients for dinner that night and found upon entering the shop that they were completely out of what you needed. You huffed out a breath, feeling yourself getting worked up again and tried desperately to think of alternative ideas to work with what you already had at home but your mind was foggy and unable to concentrate, coming up with nothing. You felt like crying, stood in the middle of a crowed aisle in the muggle supermarket, feeling utterly pathetic. You cursed under your breath and moved away from the aisle towards the exit when you passed the small bakery counter, the sight alone of the small chocolate fudge cake on display enough to make you pause. Without hesitation you bought the cake and walked straight to the checkout, feeling defeat at not getting what was needed for dinner but at the same time, feeling a little victory at acquiring the chocolate cake you were so looking forward to.
You were exhausted by the time you opened the door to the apartment, cursing Fred in your mind for placing the anti-apparition jinx upon the store and the flat above and for not fixing the floo function on the fireplace which had forced you to manually travel into central London and back and then walk up four flights of stairs in your business heels. You were in a foul mood, tired and ready to snap from the day filled with complications and irritations.
You walked into the kitchen to place the cake on the side after kicking off your heels and saw a load of dirty pots piled up in the sink and a mess made on nearly every surface of the countertop, clearly from one of the twins on their lunch break.
You let out an aggrieved groan and slammed down the bag containing the cake on the small kitchen table, huffing and cursing under your breath as you chucked down your wand and walked immediately into the bedroom in a huff.
You rolled your eyes seeing the wardrobe doors open and the bed covers strewn everywhere from your rush this morning and groaned again, now in disdain for your own actions. You walked off once again, now annoyed at yourself and stepped into the thankfully rather tidy bathroom. You started the shower, wanting to wash the entire day away and get out of your uncomfortable clothes immediately which you happily threw onto the bathroom floor without a single care.
The shower helped, feeling a little cleansed by the water and familiar scents of your shower gel, though it didn't remove your bad mood entirely; thoughts of the messy kitchen and lack of dinner ingredients were still playing on your mind only winding you up more. You stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a big fluffy towel and walked into the bedroom to put your comfy clothes on, a big T-shirt that used to belong to Fred and your black joggers, aiming for ultimate comfort. You hadn't heard from George or Fred today except for the nice note they'd left on the fridge door wishing you luck for your interview, though it wasn't unusual, the shop was always busy.
You walked to the kitchen, completely ignoring the mess and pits that were not yours to clean and made yourself a cup of tea, almost crying as you looked at the slither of milk left in the fridge. It was enough for one cup of tea but nothing more and you cursed yourself again for not thinking of grabbing milk whilst you were at the shop.
You sat down in the living room with your cup of tea, wet hair thrown up in a lazy bun and had just pulled open the book you were currently reading when Fred burst through the apartment door.
"Ooh there's my princess, how did your interview go?" He says loudly, bombarding you instantly with a kiss to the head and throwing himself down onto the sofa beside you. You closed your eyes in annoyance, just wanting to relax and on the cusp of being able to before he interrupted.
"It was fine," you replied with a shrug, really not feeling up to explaining your day just now. "They said I'd receive an owl by the end of the week."
"Know you'll get it princess, always have been the smart one," he says, apparently thinking nothing of your rather clipped reply.
"Anyway, we're taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate," he says in a sing-song manner, stretching out on the sofa to put his feet up on the coffee table.
"But I haven't gotten the job," you countered, placing down your book, casting one last sad glance at the cover.
"Yet," he replies, stretching out and pulling open his tie just a fraction, eyes closed with a smirk tugging at his lips.
Any other day you'd have jumped at the chance to go out for a meal with your loved ones but upon looking at your comfy yet completely inappropriate outfit to go out in, your face fell. You'd have to put actual clothes back on, do your hair again and reapply your makeup that you'd just scrubbed off in the shower. You couldn't be bothered, at all. You wanted to sit and read with your cup of tea, switch off your brain and eat your weight in chocolate cake. But then you remembered that you had no solid idea or complete ingredient list for any viable meal and maybe going out would be the only way of eating that night.
You felt another wave of annoyance come over you as you considered having to get all done up again. Couldn't they have warned you? Left a note or something so that you didn't shower the minute you got in? You knew you were diverting into unreasonable territory as they were just trying to do something nice but you couldn't help it, you'd rather vomit slugs than have to get ready all over again and out of your comfort clothes.
"Anyway, best get back or George'll curse my eyebrows off, 7pm gorgeous, wear something sexy," he says, straightening his toe as he wiggles his eyebrows at you before leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, "proud of you sweetheart." And then he's gone and you're left reeling.
Wear something sexy? Who the bloody hell was he to request that? Your boyfriend of years, but still.
You looked down at your outfit again and felt a ridiculous but prominent sense of loss, wanting to stay bundled up forever. You check the clock on the wall and feel aggravated once again as you see that it's nearly 5:50pm and you'd have to start getting ready. You begrudgingly dragged yourself into the bedroom and sat at your little table, staring into the mirror and felt no motivation or desire to get ready, looking at the drawers in front of you but not actually wanting to open them.
That's how George found you a little before 7 as he slipped away from the shop, seeing you sitting at your makeup table in tears. He rushed in as soon as he saw your tears and crouched down to try and comfort you, eagerly listening though it must have been hard for him as the crying was affecting your voice and all that came out were a few unintelligible whines.
"I just don't want to," you say with a hiccup, wiping away your fear from your cheek. You didn't think it would actually get this bad but your curls hadn't gone right, the hairbrush you found was not your favourite and sometimes pulled your hair a little as it brushed through and nothing at all would make you look sexy tonight with your bloating. You didn't want to wear uncomfortable heels again, nor walk anywhere in them and by the time you'd gotten to take a sip of your tea, it was cold.
"Shh, it's alright," George says soothingly trying to calm you. He placed his hand on your shoulder but quickly removed it as he saw your little glance at it. It wasn't that you didn't want to be touched per se, but his touch very heavy on your already uncomfortable body. "We don't have to go, it was only an idea."
You sniffled miserably and looked at your best friend, wiping away the tears. "But we don't have anything for tea, they didn't have any-."
"Then we'll order in, get something delivered or we'll nip out and bring something back," he says, not quite interrupting you but just enough to make you stop spiralling. You nodded meekly, feeling utterly pathetic again. "Right, I'll go tell Fred we're staying in, then we'll close up and order something okay? Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?"
You'd seen his eyes flicker to your still full mug and frown as he entered, figuring it was something that had set you off. You shook your head, already feeling like he'd done too much for you.
"Okay, we'll be back as soon as we can," he squeezes your shoulder and walks out.
You looked at yourself in the mirror, makeup sparingly applied but messed up thanks to your tears and your hair curled but not how you wanted it and sighed, feeling overwhelmed with guilt at shooting down your boyfriend and his brother. They'd only tried to do something nice and you'd completely spoiled it, too selfish and caught up in your own feelings that you'd been unreasonable and unkind. You considered wiping the makeup off your face but thought better of it but you reach for a big scrunchie and tie your hair back into a high ponytail, making you feel a little better.
You threw back on your comfy clothes and trudged into the kitchen, retrieving your wand to cast a few spells that had the kitchen cleared in no time. You poured away your cold tea and put the kettle back on, still seeking the comfort as you had before.
The twins closed up the shop in record time and Fred pulled you into the bedroom with him as he undressed, slipping out of his suit and into his own loungewear.
"Princess you should have said," he says gently, reaching for you, his hand cradling your face as he looks into your eyes, "I didn't mean to pressure you."
"No it's not you, I've just been off all day, everything's irritating me and I just want to switch off," you explained, hearing the remorse in your voice.
"Then relax you shall," he says with a smirk, "kiss first though?" His cheeky smile extends to his eyes and you catch his gaze flicker at your lips. You eagerly reach up on your tiptoes to place a sweet kiss onto his lips and you pull away smiling, feeling like it's the first time you'd properly smiled all day.
George ordered food for you all before hopping in the shower and arrived back in the living room wearing his comfiest pyjamas, pulling you into him for a hug as Fred fired up your favourite muggle movie on the TV, also joining you on the large sofa.
It was pitch black when you woke up, your eyes struggling to focus as you came around, confused as to what had woken you up. You could hear Fred breathing deeply and evenly, sound asleep. You looked at the little alarm clock beside the bed, lifting your head up from the place between the pillow and Fred's shoulder where your head rested and saw that it was 2:34am. As your consciousness begins to clear, you frown, feeling a soreness in your abdomen that you couldn't place, feeling as if you needed the toilet but without the urge to go.
You extracted yourself from your boyfriend's side, which never proved to be an easy feat, and walked to the bathroom, dragging your tired body along. You turned on the light and quickly shut the door to stop the light from disturbing your sleeping boyfriend and sat down on the toilet, turning the tap on out of habit. You pulled down your sleep shorts and underwear and immediately understood why you had an ache in your stomach, and why you'd been out of sorts all day.
Your period.
Every month without fail, the moment you discover your period had started, the pain heightens at least ten notches. You winced as you wiped, kicking off your underwear and shorts that were soiled and dragged yourself into the shower. For the second time, you sighed as you entered the shower, your body screaming at you out of exhaustion as you rinsed yourself off. You grabbed a towel and raced into the bedroom to grab a pair of panties from the dresser and ran back into the bathroom to sort your pad out. You then slipped on some new pyjamas and dragged yourself back to the bed, illuminating your wand to check that nothing had gotten onto the sheets, or worse on your boyfriend sleeping beside you. Luckily, it hadn't.
You suddenly didn't feel tired anymore, body wired from your lukewarm shower. You walked to the kitchen, padding through the flat on barefoot and flicked the kettle on, searching through the cupboard above for a jar of hot chocolate you kept in.
You grabbed your hot drink and flicked on a lamp before you pulled a black cushion from the side of the sofa to sit on, not wanting anymore accidents to happen. You didn't turn on the TV right away but instead chose to sit in the partially illuminated room and try and wind down. You couldn't get comfy at all, wiggling your hips to try and ease the ache between them, feeling like your lower abdomen was being constricted from the inside, shooting pains going down your leg and an uncomfortable pressure in your bum. You could sob with the pain, wanting to curl up in a ball and cry but you couldn't, I'm too much pain to even try and move, your entire energy being consumed by simply existing right now.
Your periods had always been bad, starting just before your third year at Hogwarts and though through time they had evened out a little, they were still unpredictable at best and monstrous at worst. You shifted your hips again, trying to relieve the tension you felt and groaned quietly, wishing that you'd filled up your hot water bottle before sitting down.
Medicine in the wizarding world was spectacularly different from the muggle word though a little less advanced as the wizarding community came with added complications such as diseases and ailments that muggles would never know existed. Witches and Wizards often didn't react well to normal muggle remedies nor pharmaceuticals, something you'd learned at Hogwarts from Madame Pomfrey, something about the magical ability burning through modern pharmaceuticals at a rapid rate, rendering them ineffective.
You placed your mug on your stomach to try and gain some heat from it and rested your head back on the sofa, breathing deeply and trying to calm yourself so that you could go back to bed. Feeling yourself getting sleepy, you placed down your mug and pulled a soft blanket over you, trying to get comfy as you settled into the soft material of the plush sofa.
"Princess?" You heard a quiet voice call out, your eyes on the verge of closing. You opened them just a little, sensing Fred's presence behind you and you twisted in position to look at him, wincing as a bolt of pain shot through your groan at the motion.
"What are you doing out here? George snoring too loud again?" You smiled appreciatively for the joke and reached out for him with grabby hands, needing some comfort. He wordlessly slipped in beside you on the sofa and immediately wrapped you around him, blankets and all as he kept you bundled up. You reached for his large hand, feeling the absurd heat he always radiated under your fingers and placed his hand onto your tummy. The heat from his hand spread over your skin instantly and you could feel it penetrating deeper and deeper, soothing your pain.
"That time?" He asks delicately and you nod into his chest, your eyes still heavy as you breathed in the familiar, comforting smell of Fred. "Want your water bottle?" You paused, considering it but slowly shook you head.
"Not right now, got you," you mumbled into his chest, his warmth and presence soothing you further into sleep. You felt him chuckle, chest rumbling with the vibration and he reach down to press a kiss to the top of your head.
"Out of ten?" He asks, keeping his hand placed delicately on your belly.
"Eight at least," you groan, your eyes closing as your toes twitch out of the intensity of the pain.
"Oookay, what can I do?" He asks, clearly a little freaked out by the high level of pain you admitted, knowing that it really must have been bad as you always had a high pain threshold.
"Just sit with me," you say, feeling depleted.
"Wanna go to bed or are you happy here?" He says after a few minutes. The heat from his hand has begun to feel redundant, your skin now the same temperature as his.
"Water bottle first?" You asked innocently, hopeful that he'd accommodate you. He presses another kiss to your head and tells you he'll bring it in before shoo'ing you into the bedroom where you sink down into the soft sheets, finally feeling comforted enough to close your eyes.
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shiro-s2e2-erukinzu · 9 months
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Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 86... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
KYAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! 💗 THIS CHAPTER, OH MY GOD...!!! 😆😍😆
Today's chapter has marked the end of the mole arc and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!! 😆So let's talk about it, shall we...? 😏
The chapter begins where the last one ended, with Fiona BEATING THINE ASS of Wheeler...!! 😆 When suddenly, someone tells her to stop...:
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And it turned out to be Twilight!!
I honestly didn't expect that he was gonna get up this soon...! Especially after everything he's been through in these past few chapters...!! ✊😤
But because Twilight is up now, Fiona, of course, rushes towards him! Only to land flat on her face (because her broken leg...!! 😌)
After that, Fiona starts freaking out (in her head) about the possibility that Twilight heard what she said to Wheeler, while Twilight thinks that she's mad at him for being taken down by Wheeler...!! 🤣
But after all that silliness, Twilight brings up how he believes that he might actually be losing edge which leads to this conversation:
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I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PART!! 😭
Not only did Twilight bring up why he couldn't kill Yuri and frame it as though it was only to protect the mission, but Fiona was able see past his "For The Mission" shtick yet again...!! Everything about this part was *chef's kiss* 👌
After that amazing part, Agent Mustache (still disguised as that SSS agent whose name I don't remember how to spell 😅) comes to get Fiona and Twilight out of there (and also Wheeler...!!) But since Fiona's leg is broken, she has to be carried...:
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...BY TWILIGHT!!! 😆
Which she understandably freaks out (in her head) about...!! 👌😌 (I know I'd probably freak out too if Twilight carried me-- 😏)
Uhh, anyway...!! Twilight finally gets home (after Agent Mustache offered to get some drinks with him but declines) and is greeted by his beautiful fake wife, Yor...!! 💗🤗💗
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...AND HE COLLAPSES TO HIS KNEES!! 😆 (Probably because of Yor's beauty...!! 😏)
But Twilight was able to get back, only for Yor to tell him that she wasn't really upset with him and he ends up like THIS...:
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🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂MY MAN IS LOOKIN' GOOFY RIGHT NOW!!!
Loid then tells Yor that he'll need her help around the house for a few days, which makes Yor happy and she tells him why...:
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MY HEART!!! 💗😭💗THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL AS WELL...!!! 💗😭💗
When suddenly, Yuri shows up...!! 😵 AND THIS HAPPENS...!!: 😱
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WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS CHAPTER...!?!? 😵 ENDO JUST KEEPS GIVING US SUCH FANTASTIC MOMENTS...!!! 😍
I did not expect Yuri to show up AT ALL!! 😆 And his reasoning for backing off of suspecting Loid was just amazing as well...!! (KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, ENDO!!! 👍)
And then... I died... Because...:
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Twilight... SHIRTLESS... IN THE SHOWER!!! 😵
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Shiro-S2E2-Erukinzu.exe has stopped functioning. Must reboot... 🤖
...
...rebooting... 🤖
...
...reboot successful. 🤖
GAH! WHAT HAPPENED?! 😲 Oh right!! *Ahem* as I was saying... The chapter comes to a close with Yor catching Twilight's shirt on fire from ironing it...!! 🤣🤣🤣
And that was Mission 86, such amazing end to an amazing arc...!! 😆 I can't believe how many amazing moments were pack into this one chapter!! 😁 It really solidified this arc as my favorite in the series thus far...!! 😊 You knocked it out of the park again Endo!! 😄
Speaking of my favorite moments, I really wanted to know what Twilight was gonna say about Yor when he was taking about his weakness...! 🤔 But, I'm pretty sure that we all have a pretty good guess as to what he was gonna say...!! 😏
MAN!! THIS CHAPTER IS SO GOOD, I COULD TALK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS...!! 😆
But, I don't have that kind of time... 😌 So I guess I'll just say my goodbyes now...!! 😁
As always; take care, be safe out there and spread kindness...!! 💗🤗💗 I'll see you all in the next Mission...!! SEE YA!! 👋😄
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itsmaferart · 6 months
Note
Hey there! A little question: Why is everyone always accusing Loid of being gay for not kissing or doing all kinds stuff to Yor? I don’t think it’s as easy as they are making it out to be, even though both characters are a catch…..in a mixture of red/green flaggish kinda way. I actually prefer it that both characters aren’t lusting for each other as it makes their relationship more endearing but when they start developing feelings for each other, it’s beyond their attractiveness.
I ship the every living hell out of these two but if Loid does all of those intimate stuff Yor now, I don’t know, it feels less cute, rewarding, and heartwarming and more like a fulfillment of our personal desires. I don’t think Loid is a surrogate or self insert incel character to be like that. I’m sorry if I can’t put it into words, English isn’t my strong suit but that how it feels to me.
Hi, it took me a while to respond but here it is!!
I think it's the fans' rush for couples to consolidate and there's no way to blame them, because really Twiyor is one of the good couples! The Spy x Family universe internally moves in a slow-moving manner, where events are small and focus more on the development and formation of bonds between people. There is no great interest in big events, and getting a romance is not the focal point, but a part of the story.Endo's narrative moves under its own rules and some may like it or despair.
I have read dozens of comments that talk about how slow the story is and that there is simply progress at the speed of a turtle. And yes, they are right (in part).
But the truth is that this is more a conflict of fan expectations and what the story wants to tell and how it is told.The story is not badly written and not badly developed. But not everyone may like it if you are expecting more significant advances.
So, yes, Loid is very slow and Yor very naive.... But...
that doesn't mean there's no love or that it doesn't come to pass.
I understand the frustration of the Twiyor shipper, and it is the conflict of what we interpret as intimacy and closeness. In most conventional romances, intimacy is forced through physical contact, often exaggerated or convenient. Holding hands, hugging, trying to kiss, asking each other out. The story focuses on pushing the characters to get closer and with them to generate a closeness that leads to romance.
That's why most fanfic is about them being in love or having closeness, because that's what we most want to see between them… That's why many see this romance as insipid.
Endo's approach is more emotional, calmer, where trust between two people is more important than whether they are close or not. The times when this is forced, it ends badly. The fact that Loid respects Yor enough to not make her feel uncomfortable, or that Yor wants to be Loid's refuge, speaks of a very balanced mental and emotional intimacy.
It is a more mature romance, where the focus is not so much on passion. Because when they try to make it romantic, they're both fools.
I think Endo is just trying to put his own idea of romance outside of what everyone expects, and that can bore some people.
-
I suppose Endo will develop his relationship in his own way. But his main priority is the development of his people through a more everyday and chaotic life, above the spectacularity and action.… until we can finally be together
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lesbianoms · 2 months
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You in a woman's gut, while she mingles with other preds, with their own filled guts. All of them talking about their respective gut trophies. Maybe even squishes you against another woman's belly?
Oooh that sounds like a great time~ especially when you consider the impact that long-term endo would have on me~
I’d be disoriented and horny as she fondles me from the outside, squishing and patting her bare belly. Everybody knows the life of a gut trophy is an unceremonious one; disjoined snapshots of loose memories and events. After all, no meal could think straight after being curled up in such a hot, humid place for so long… 🥵
My days are spent squirming mindlessly as her gut churns around me, growling and gurgling at the indigestible lump of meat inside of it. No harm will come to me, of course… but even if it did, it’s not like I’d notice~
There are moments of lucidity. That morning, she slaps her belly hard, giving me a spank on my ass as I yelp and try to pay attention (I always curl up with my back facing forward).
“We’re going to a party,” she purrs, rubbing up and down her round, sloshy tum.
I moan and wiggle, nuzzling against her squishy stomach walls. Time passes. And then I hear little snippets of the world outside, as my pred chats with others like her.
“….clothes… but they always get ruined…. swallowed half my wardrobe…”
A loving stroke against my form rouses me, and I’m able to catch my pred’s response. She laughs, jiggling me around.
“Well just don’t give them anything to wear at all! It feels so much better when they squirm around naked~”
Before I know it, there’s a mind-boggling amount of pressure that squishes me up against something soft, and I can feel something squirming against my squirming. I let out a little moan.
“Feel that? So much more responsive… 💕”
She lets out a big belch, and her stomach squeezes me tight as all that air is released from her depths. Long ago, maybe I would have wished to be free from this slimy prison as well… but that life is someone else’s now.
As the other woman walks away, I can feel myself slipping into a dreamless slumber. The overstimulation always makes me so sleepy… and as I close my eyes and my heartbeat slows, I feel two hands at my sides, petting me softly.
“UURAP-! Good girl…”
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starsjulia · 1 year
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honey, i'll always be here, holding your hand
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summary ~ y/n has been struggling, and leah's always here to help.
warning ~ disordered eating, angst (do not read if you feel it will trigger you)
a/n ~ i kinda wrote this as a vent and so i could get the end message out, and i'm always here if your struggling just msg me xx
also this is my first lw imagine soooo sorry if it's shit (it's also quite short)
distance. that's what y/n was doing, distancing herself from her wife. y/n and leah had been married for 3 years and one quite large question was bound to come up soon, and the only plan y/n can find to get herself out of it was to distance herself for the moment.
she sees the way leah acts with children, she looks at them with so much love, and so much longing. she's expressed her love for children in the past but the topic of their own hasn't brushed the surface yet. leah wasn't aware of a large part of her wife's life that would impact her want for her own children.
y/n had, and still slightly has an eating disorder, it caused her period to fade, she hadn't got her period in months, and she was sure that she wouldn't be fertile.
of course leah had some idea of y/n's struggle with eating, because she's always sort of had it. y/n was an actress, a oscar winning actress. so the public eye and constant criticism wasn't good for anyone's self esteem, but the constant comments got to y/n's head early on, and no matter what they stayed.
she got very good at hiding it though, she never looked 'anorexic' though no body 'looks anorexic' she was naturally thin, but at times how thin she was exactly scared leah. y/n hid her scale, basically memorised the amount of calories in almost all food, became a borderline mathematician when it came to adding, and she also had a tendency to binge when she was alone. so without being extremely observant you wouldn't of guessed she had disordered eating.
but it did catch up to her slightly, especially the side effects, her hair was thinning, she barley had a period, her nails where brittle, and she was often tired, but she always told her wife it was 'just a cold i've caught' or 'it must be an anemia flare up' and leah believed it, mostly because she communicated almost every other issue but this.
so she distanced.
and then the distance became too much.
"y/n wafts happened, and don't say nothing because i k know it's not, you barley talk to me, barley touch me, we barley have sex and if we do you never let me do anything to you, you're never like that and you know it, and you never eat with me, i can't stand it anymore, just talk to me. is there someone else? because of there is i'd rather know now than later"
leah finally broke the silence.
"no, no there's no one else, swear on nachos life"
nach was their shared dogs name, leah relaxed slight knowing that she weren't ever going to lie on his life.
"okay then what is it? i'm staying here until you tell me. i deserve to know"
leah did deserve to know
y/n just stared at leah for a few seconds to ground herself.
"okay... i will tell you, but you need to understand i didn't know how to tell you until it was too late"
y/n just said blankly, deciding she needed to come clean.
"alright..."
leah replied confused
"i can't have kids leah, well i don't think i can, and i know you can't because of your endo, and i know how badly you want them, but i can't give it to you, so i understand if you want to find someone who can and..."
y/n looked down, eyes welling with tears, but leah used her hand to hold y/n's chin to make her look at her.
"honey, i don't care if you can't have kids, we can always adopt, or foster, you never know! i love you because of who you are, not if you can have kids or not silly! ... but if you don't mind me asking, did something happen so you can't have children or how come it hasn't come up earlier?"
leah asked sympathetically.
"um... leah, i'm still not sure how to say this... but you deserve to know... i um... think i may of maybe, well i'm pretty sure i've got some sort of eating problem lee... and i don't know, i just like can't stop? i've tried everything on my own but, i can't eat without all the numbers and it won't go away, it's consuming me, it's all a think about, and i don't want to think about it, i really really don't, but it won't go away, and it's gotten to the point where i haven't had a period in months, the last one i had was 6 months ago and it barley lasted a day lee... i don't think i can have kids anymore, and i don't even know how to live normally anymore."
y/n vented, but as soon as she stop she tried to take a deep breath in, but she couldn't, her air was stuck, it was like she was so scared and her body was rejecting air, her chest tightened and her vision and hearing faded very quickly.
she was having a panic attack.
"oh shit, honey, please look at me"
leah tried to calm the girl down, still in shock herself, but y/n always came first.
"baby i'm gonna hold you alright, tap me if you don't like it, okay? and just listen to my heart beat and follow my breathing"
it took a while but eventually y/n's breathing steadied and became more normal again, tears still falling, she wasn't sure why, maybe the hunger took over, she didn't even know her self.
"okay it's fine if you don't want to talk today, but i'm so so proud of you for telling me alright? you are so unbelievably strong for being able to tell me, and i'm so sorry for not noticing, and not being able to help you earlier, but i'm going to help you now okay? but can you kinda explain little more how exactly you're struggling with food?"
"well... umm... i guess i've always kinda had struggles with eating? like... you remember when we first stared dating i was like constantly on one diet or another, and then i stoped, and then i gained a bit of weight, and i lost control, like the part of my brain that tells me when i was hungry, or like what j was in the mood for was controlled by someone else, and i think part of it was the media, and i began counting calories, and it's not something i can stop because my brain has too know how many calories are in a meal, or how many grams of carbs or i'll go nuts, i will spiral, and the amount of food i eat like kinda got smaller by the day, and now i can barley eat a meal without wanting to through up. but then other days i eat to much that i'm throwing up so... i don't even know leah... i have no idea what to do anymore"
and the tears came back
"shhh im here baby. right here, and i'm not giving up, ever. im gonna be right by you holding your hand until your where you desire to be, i'll be holding your hand no matter what, because i love you soo incredibly much. i vowed in sickness and health, and your a bit ill now, but i'll help you until your better"
and y/n did get better. in fact she got her life back over the next year. she got freedom, and even got her period back, and was actually able to carry hers and leah's baby together. it got better. and i gets better
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eternal-echoes · 8 months
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I've been wondering about this for a while. I'm not even sure how to explain this: what is the "logic" or "rational" behind Yor being embarrassed at the prospect of romance and reacting to it violently at certain times but not on others? She slapped Yuri for suggesting she'd get married but she didn't feel a surge to be violent when she asked Loid to marry her. She almost slapped Loid when she was about to kiss him (and ended up slapping Yuri) but she was very happy to say that she was grateful she married him. She kicked Loid for honey trapping her but she was perfectly fine with him sleeping on her lap, which I think is more romantic than holding hands.
I don't think Tatsuya Endo intends for it to be arbitrary and random because so far in the series, the plot is carefully layered with intricate details on top of each other (that's why a lot of us fans write really long posts analyzing every chapter lol).
Is the reason why she's not violent in certain times is because she's the one who initiates the romantic gesture? She wants to do it at her own pace. But she was doing most of the initiating of almost kissing Loid during Yuri's first visit. Or is a kiss just too intimate when she has only known Loid for a few months?
I have a theory that the reason why she gets violent at the prospect of being physical affectionate is that since when she gets called in for her job as an assassin, she poses herself as a prostitute to throw off her clients so she can catch them off guard and kill them.
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Since over and over again she kills people who thinks she's been called there for sex work, it's ingrained in her to react violently to physical intimacy. If you've been doing since you were young, it would be very hard to undo.
But since Loid has been complimenting and praising her,
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I think she's slowly and subconsciously letting her guard down, so she's slowly, oh very slowly, easing into being romantic with him. He feels like home to her so during those times, she doesn't associate those romantic settings with work when it's ingrained in her to react violently.
I also have a theory that the day when Yor becomes physically clingy on Loid is when after a traumatic event of a real possibility losing him forever. Not just someone threatening his life, but seeing him bloody at the brink of death. Seeing him survive after that would make her want to hold onto him as much as possible for fear of losing him for good.
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sophieinwonderland · 1 month
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One thing i never understand is why sysmeds, anti endos etc ALWAYS yap about DID but they don't talk about OSDD. Like you're not just anti endo but you think DiD is the only type, therefore ableist and think ur ultimate for having it /nay
To be fair, I think in most cases, they're using "DID" as a catch-all.
Usually...
Then there are the ones who are just ignorant and will say that someone can't possibly have DID without amnesia (OSDD-1b) or switching (Partial DID), and anyone who says they do is faking.
Around here, I've seen "CDDs," short for "complex dissociative disorders", be used to group OSDD-1, DID and Partial DID together. But it hasn't caught on in other parts of the internet.
I do find it funny though whenever someone accuses me of faking DID when I'm pretty up front about us not having any amnesia that would actually be required to have DID. While we certainly don't fit any dissociative disorder due to the distress or impairment criterion, we would probably come closest to OSDD-1b.
(Notes: OSDD-1b is a community term for an example of OSDD with DID-like characteristics but no amnesia. It's real, but the label isn't clinical. "Complex dissociative disorders" are mentioned in some academic literature to group DID and OSDD-1 together, but it's not abbreviated as "CDD" in academic sources I've read.)
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