Help i told Fabian that he was my hyper fixation for a time and now I need to end myself

I found it so absolutely crazy that the Mikaelsons (especially Klaus and Elijah) were constantly throwing Marcel’s background back in his face and just the fact that they lived in/on the same plantation that he was a slave on was absolutely wild. Marcel was so blatantly “othered” by the Mikaelsons, even though they said he was family, they always reminded him that he wasn’t ever one of them/a mikaelson and Klaus would always remind him that he was a slave before. Someone made the analogy that it’s like when a racist white family adopts a black child and make it clear that he’s not one of them and that’s quite LITERALLY what happened.

I would go as far as to say that Marbekah is not just weird because Rebekah knew him as a child, but also because of that strange power dynamic of her being a rich white woman and him being a black slave boy and that subtext there and it just doesn’t feel right (and this is a feeling I don’t get from normal interracial relationships, just THOSE TWO). And if you like Marbekah, that’s great! I just don’t lol.

And the fandom always says that “it’s just Klaus’ personality that he does and says these things to Marcel, etc” like… ugh.

And there’s other poc in TO that deal with the racism like Vincent and Inadu, etc

I love the Mikaelsons but they were so problematic to the point that I have to retcon certain things or at least insert headcanons to make me not hate them. Because you are absolutely right. It was literally a racist family playing white savior. People try to give Klaus props for killing an enslaver and freeing Marcel, but we see him kill one enslaver and free one person who was enslaved. He didn't do it because he was morally opposed to slavery. He did it for his own selfish reasons. Otherwise we would have seen more of this. People using the excuse that "oh it's just x's character to make racists comments" is very telling. It means the character is racist. They are literally saying it is part of that character. The Mikaelsons thinking it was fine to live on an actual plantation both when it was functioning and after is proof of this.

I personally do like Marbekah but they are not necessarily in my top favorite ships. I love both of the characters but I also hate how they began (same with Freelin, but I'll go into that in a moment). But again, you're absolutely right. There is not only the inappropriate dynamic that she helped raise him, to some extent, but yes, that he grew up being treated as a second class citizen, not only when he was enslaved but also when he was taken in by the Mikaelsons. There is also the bad dynamic of how possessive Klaus is over Rebekah and her romantic life. People love to say Klaus daggered Rebekah when he found out about Rebekah and Marcel because he was protecting Marcel, but let's be honest, he wouldn't have cared if it was anyone else but Rebekah. Klaus didn't have any issues going after teenagers, why would he care that Marcel was being groomed by an older woman? Klaus always treated Marcel as more of a friend than a son and we all know Klaus is not a good friend. I, once again, have to insert my own headcanon that Rebekah was not heavily invovled in Marcel's upbringing. I pretend Klaus was just as possessive of Marcel with Rebekah as he was with Elijah. We only see the one scene of Rebekah training him so I just pretend that was a one time thing and they hardly interacted outside of that. This not at all what the writers intended. They loved creepy, grooming relationships so it is completely understandable to not like them.

Marcel was treated as more of a possession than anything. I'm biased so I like to believe Elijah saw Marcel as a child at first and wanted to mentor him before Klaus got in the way. You mention Elijah throwing Marcel's history in his face, do you have an example? I am genuinely asking. I've seen people make this comment before and make comments of Elijah calling him "boy" but I for the life of me can't remember when he does, because yes, that is obviously racist. I am trying to think past my Elijah blinders, but welcome any help. Elijah is definitely condescending to him and it would be foolish of me to assume part of it isn't racism. Again, I insert my own headcanon that it is more to do with his elitism and how he speaks to everyone (i.e. the scene where he calls Klaus and Hayley "chiiillldddreeen" for bickering). But I also acknowledge that my headcanons are my own and we still need to call out the characters for their problematic behavior. The fact that Elijah doesn't lift a finger to help a single person who is being enslaved or to even condemn the slavery when he very much had the power and privilege to do something about it shows his racism, if not overt racism than at the very least covert.

I personally headcanon that Celeste set Elijah straight while they were together and got him more invovled in the abolitionist movements, because I refuse to believe Celeste was fine being with a man who was fine with slavery. I also love Elijah and refuse to love a racist so I have to insert my own head canons to fix the racist writing. I would also be remiss to point out how problematic it is that Elijah is constantly given partners who are women of color but the show only emphasizes his white counterparts. There is more love for Eelijah, a crack ship, in the fandom than Celijah, one of the two people Elijah loved by his own admission. I love haylijah, but how the women of color he dated were treated by his family, the writers, and his family, even by him, speaks volumes to their racism.

But back to Marcel. It would have made sense for Rebekah to be a mother figure to him since she is always talking about wanting kids, but the show makes it clear that there is a distinction between biological children and adopted. Here the Mikaelsons have a chance to be parents and they all squander it. It's hard to not talk about Marcel's race in that discussion. Rebekah loves her time taking care of Hope, who, while her blood, is still not her biological daughter. Why wouldn't she jump at the chance to raise a frightened boy who lost his mother at such a young age? Why wasn't he given a mother figure? Hope has like five. Marcel isn't even given a father figure. Again, Hope has like five. Because Marcel was never viewed as a child. This is a common trope where black characters, especially boys, are not seen as kids. Rather they are forced to be more mature and treated as adults, while their white counter parts are allowed immaturity. Marcel was never allowed to be a kid because the Mikaelsons didn't want a kid. They all had their own selfish desires for Marcel and they were all terrible.

I do think the Mikaelsons are also just a toxic, dysfunctional family. Literally none of them treat the others well. I love certain relationships over others, but it would be lying to say they weren't all toxic to each other. So it's no wonder all of their relationships with Marcel were toxic. Klaus undaggers Kol and instead of being angry at Klaus for keeping him in a box, he turns his anger and frustration on a literal child. You would think this resentment would fade when Kol starts dating his nephew's daughter (sorry, couldn't help myself), but it doesn't. Marcel and Kol still harbor so much animosity for each other and Kol's is merely based on Marcel being more included in the family, which is sad considering how little Marcel is included in the family. But even that extent was too much for Kol.

The writers had a fresh slate with The Originals. There was no book to attempt to follow or even to dictate character relationships. They could have done anything with Marcel, but they chose to make a black slave from the 1800s that Klaus "saved" in order to play into the idea that Klaus was a good guy underneath it all. So instead of focusing on Marcel's trauma, the story is told through the Mikaelson's perspective, the white perspective. It reminds me of so many movies, The Blind Side comes to mind. Media loves to focus on the white saviors and praise them without mentioning the trauma they actually caused while playing savior. In these stories, the white families aren't adopting a "child" they are "investing" in what that child can do for them.

I mentioned Freelin earlier and I don't think it is a coincidence that the only two instances where a white Mikaelson's endgame invovled a person of color there is a massive power imbalance. I want to love Freelin so much because I like both the characters but I struggle to get past how they met and how quickly it changed. Freya never even felt guilty or apologized for literally kidnapping and torturing her. The show loves to match up characters, especially women and especially woman of color, with their abusers with no repercussions to the abuse.

I could write forever about the blatant racism in this show.

Thanks for the ask! I hope I answered everything. As always, please let me know what you think or if you disagree with anything I said.

Do you really want to talk bad about Jensen's clothes? being that he is the best dressed guy among the cast of Supernatural, and it's not just me saying that, every other actor on the cast says the same or anyone with a modicum of fashion understanding. You better find something else to criticize

Do you maybe want to get a therapist instead ofthreatening people on anonymous like a psycho?

Fashion critiques abound in this world and so do actor branding critiques. That's how each actor reaches their ideal packaging. By getting critiqued by a branding coach, acting coach, agent, manager, etc etc until their package is refined to perfection to not only meet industry standards but to beautifully promote their authentic essence. Until you can be you perfectly you have zero chances of being cast in big things.

You not only have no clue about these things but you are also profoundly creepy. Yikes. I truly feel sorry for Jensen, I can't imagine how freaked out he must be to have fans that are so disconnected from their humanity, knowledge and, most of all, from reality.

In all seriousness, please get some help. Also, kind reminder that harassment and threats are offenses. If you want to call yourself a Jensen fan stop tarnishing his name by acting like a criminal.

This is an entertainment blog, there is a clear disclaimer on it. You dislike it? Cool, don't read it. Be a mature person and activate the executive function of your brain instead of being driven by your amygdala like a caveman.

Jensen is nowhere on the best dressed list or nowhere near getting cast in lead roles so take a chill pill and maybe learn something about actor branding and acting types.

hmm, I realise it's probably very uncool/"how you doing fellow kids" of me to start rambling about (rereading) gideon while everyone else is on the nona train, but I need somewhere to put these thoughts, so:

Ianthe is frankly the only valid one of the (attempted) key-snatchers, forreal. the other two are all "I'm gonna justify this by appealing to my beliefs about proper law and honor and morality and how it just so happens I'm the rightful authority here and everyone else should submit to me under those systems! u__u" and so. y'know. fuck that noise. (can't spell "lawful" without "awful" and whatnot.) (blatant opportunistic power-grabbing without the facade is at least honest and vaguely respectable for that.)

which speaking of, I get the impression that she, Palamedes, and probably Harrow? are the ones in agreement about the realpolitik of the entire situation - they see what's actually on the table when the rules of Canaan House are essentially "no rules". the difference between them, is that Pal and ultimately Harrow disagree with Ianthe that just because they can do something doesn't mean they should or that they will.

(in the context of the first part, I will admit to being. a little cranky. about the apparent stated rationale behind Judith Deuteros's name. mmmmmmoving on...)

both times Gideon is actively all "Harrow you should siphon me to do the thing" (while Harrow is super reluctant to do so!!!) are just. I love them. they're so crunchy. I've got my elbows on the table and my beatifically smiling face in my hands. I'm the sicko outside the window going "haha.. yes... yes!!!". -- specifically, because of the characterisation-y stuff going on, and on this second read in particular the dots you can connect on why this sort of use of another person would be upsetting for Harrow where other types wouldn't be. BUT/AND ALSO. because I'm not remotely above reading their relationship, necro/cav dynamics as a concept, etc. through a power exchange lens - and "Harrow stumbling through her immaturity and mountains of baggage toward a basic functional understanding of what being a D-type in a partnership is" absolutely delights me as a theme; likewise "Gideon's s-type impulses coming to the fore and being something she's proactively offering consent about, a thing she rarely gets to do full stop" is. so good. they basically single-handedly demonstrate what I think said reading lens adds in the first place and why I'm not just being a one-track-mind obsessive.

for that matter, Harrow's big speech during her argument with Gideon that's basically "becoming a lyctor is something I can and will do on my own and you have no utility or part in that process" is both so interesting in my little "chronicle of Harrow the incredibly dysfunctional baby dominant" notes, and also. hah. hahahahahahaha oh SWEETHEART, careful you don't keel over there from ingesting too much dramatic irony :')

(p.s. frankly idgaf if Silas ought to get a few moral high ground points for deciding he doesn't want to become a lyctor or eat his cav; his creepy-ass deterministic moral status beliefs and condescension about Gideon's status in the Ninth House is plenty for me to Throw Away The Whole Man. dehumanization isn't cute even if you have other hard moral standards; sorry! <3)

The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

hey cliona! I have questions. For women (or anyone femme-alligned I guess). Because I was AFAB and I'm trying to figure out if I'm really trans or if I'm just subconsciously making it up for attention? and I don't know, I just feel like you're a really nice person and I feel safe asking you these questions.

And these questions may be super weird so it's okay if you don't answer them/ don't feel comfortable answering them. Like seriously, they're very personal so it's okay if you ignore this or only respond to some.

Do all cis women feel weird about their... you know... boobs? (I don't know what to call them sorry) when they're growing up? (I'm sixteen) As in, do you look at them and go "oh they look nice, I'm fine with them." or do you look at them sometimes and think "I don't know how I feel about this."

Do you sometimes wish you didn't have them and wish you were a cis guy so that you could go shirtless sometimes?

Do you ever wish you were born as a guy? (not because of the male privilege but just. because. I don't know don't really have a proper reason beside I just feel like it would feel better? I don't know.)

If someone (consistently, like not as a one off mistake) used he/him pronouns for you would you be really uncomfortable with it and correct them or would you be okay with it?

Do you ever look at fanart or just look at a guy and go "holy fuck I want that." or "I wish I looked like that"? (like every time I see Logan or Sirius I'm just like I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THEM I WANT TO BE THEM. and I don't know if it's just because I want to look attractive? but then again, I never feel that way when I look at fanart of a woman? I don't know.)

I'm sorry if this is weird or creepy. You can choose not to answer it, I'd totally understand. Thank you!

Also sorry this is really long and basically me ranting but I'm just desperate at this point. Gender is tiring.

Hiya! First up,  if you’re feeling like you might be trans, I don’t think it’s something you would do for attention! Gender is tiring and none of this is weird or creepy, I just hope I’ll be able to help a lil!

My dudes, I’m gonna get real up and personal in this answer with some shit I’ve been wondering if I would ever speak openly about so here we go!

Do all cis women feel weird about their boobs?

Okay let’s just dive right in! I actually was born with a condition known as Poland syndrome which means I was born missing my my right pectoral muscle - basically I’m saying that I only have one boob. I have my left breast but I don’t have anything on my right side because there is simply no muscle there so I might have a little bit of a different relationship with my breasts than other cis gendered women but I will still try answer this as best I can! Any weirdness I do feel about them is related to the vast asymmetry etc but not because I feel uncomfortable having breasts. I intend on having plastic surgery to get me that other boob, not cause society or whatever, because it’s genuinely what I want. I have a prosthesis (so a fake boob. It’s silicone and I call it Larry) and the all my bras are specially designed with pockets for my prosthesis and while they’re functional and comfortable and stuff I am so excited about being able to wear pretty bras. As soon as I get my surgery (if it works out) I am going to buy so many nice bras and shirts with low cuts and all the things that I have never been able to wear because they don’t fall correctly on me. (While I know I might not be the best person to speak about having breasts, I also think I might be perfect because ever since I was 9 years old I’ve had to think about what I wanted, and I love them! I’m excited about the clothes and bras I can wear with them so maybe that might help put your own feelings in perspective)

So I ever wish I was a cis guy so I can go shirtless?

I do not. I actually imagine getting my surgery so I can go shirtless! I mean, not that I’d go running around shirtless on the regular and stuff, but it’d be nice to have the option. I imagine it with breasts though, not without

Do I ever wish I was born a guy?

I think the only time I’ve ever thought about it is when dramatically singing ‘if I were a boy’. Otherwise, nope I’ve always been very happy with the body I was born with

If someone consistently used He/him pronouns for me, would I feel uncomfortable/correct them?

I’m very privileged in being cis in the sense what if someone misgenders me, I’m okay with it. I mean, if it were constant I would definitely correct just so that they would know, but it doesn’t bother my what people call me because I am very secure in myself and my identity

Do I look at fanart of guys and wish I looked like that?

No, never. Bar the occasional jealousy for Sirius Black’s hair, my only thoughts when I look at fanart of guys is admiration of the artists talent or just loving the art, not wishing I look like them

I hope this helps a little!! I wish you all these best of luck and I’m sending so much love. You’re always welcome here any time!💕💕💕

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

Hey can I rant to you about how I find the mono-focus on the very much human dominated forces of Chaos as the real bad guy of 40k to be honestly even worse than the Imperiaal focus?  You know what I always wanted in 40k?  Lizardmen, Alien Ogres, Space Dwarfs, Skaven, and some Vampire Counts to the Necrons’ Tomb Kings.   In WHFB only three playable armies were human (five if you count the undead as human) and WHFB had a larger number of independent factions than 40k.   Meanwhile in 40k about half of all the armies in the game are Imperial and another large chunk are the equally insufferable legions of Chaos as the two factions circlejerk over who is the more racist and xenophobic.   While in FB you had the annoying emphasis on Chaos as the one true threat (which is increasingly being emphasised in 40k including the awful, awful retcons they want to do to the war in heaven where what was supposed to be the xenos equivalent to the horus heresy gets “akshually the real bad guy is chaos lawl” shoved into it), humanity was just a part of the struggle against it or other forces such as Undeath or the Greenskins.  Not even the biggest part, with the High Elves, Lizardmen, and Dwarfs all bearing more of the burden than the Empire or Bretonnia.   Meanwhile, while theoretically 40k is a setting where non-chaos bad guys are more relevant and more able to defeat Chaos and take over as the one; the non-humans actually do less.  Chaos is the only bad guy faction allowed to have permanent wins, to be undefeatable without any asterisks marks and whose fanboys (including GW’s writing team) love to endlessly circlejerk about how opposing Chaos is useless because they’ll get you in the end. And how 40k is really about humanity’s inevitably doomed succumbing to Chaos and how the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons are the destined victors and blah-de-blah.  Any time an effective counter to chaos is written about in any other faction’s lore; the Chaos favouratism gets to show with “akshually chaos overcomes this because phhbbbbbt” with eye-rolling descriptions of how Chaos overwhelms say; the Tyranid hive mind by scattering it with the great rift, or how the death guard can infect nurgle, or how actually Tzeentch only pretended to lose to the Eldar or how Slaanesh actually pulled a fast one over the T'au.   Nobody is allowed to be more of a threat than the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons even though the former are literally a bunch of spoiled paramilitary stormtroopers salty about the Emperor saying they weren’t allowed to rule over normal humanity like god-kings and the latter have lore that is fifty million variations of “lol inevitable victory”.  The Chaos Space Marines are so lacking in numbers, so incapable of large scale cooperation not riven with petty fratricidal personal rivalries, so bereft of a functional logistical train, and are lead by such an insufferable band of edgy cartoon villains that they should honestly be little more than a nuisance that the Imperium only focuses on because of their symbolic threat. An annoyance compared to the much more organised and vastly more numerous and far better at exponentially scaling up power of the Necrons, the Tyranids, or the Orks. One that is carrying out an empty, pointless rivalry sparked largely over a bunch of stormtroopers being furious about not being allowed to be kings.  Wouldn’t it be more thematically meaningful and fit better into the cosmic horror that 40k wants to be if Chaos was actually mostly a symbolic threat that would be ignorable if the Imperium wasn’t still spooked over what amounted to an attempted religiously motivated military coup ten thousand years ago and that ultimately; this petty rivalry doesn’t matter? That the bitter hatred over Horus’ coup ultimately is meaningless in the face of the fact that this galaxy, this universe, has never belonged to humanity or anything spawned of it?  Khorne may feed off the violence of humanity and many minor xenos species; but Gork and Mork are a far more pure form of warmongering and what we now know as the Greenskins are just the tip of the iceberg compared to what they can really do when the WAAAGH! gets rolling. Nurgle may be an infestation of humanity’s despair and inability to progress but the Tyranids are the cancer that will kill the universe itself. Tzeentch may be clever and ancient as the firstborn of Chaos; but the Necrons have plans stretching back to before even the very idea of Tzeentch came into being.   And of course, unlike the Dark Elves; the Druklhari aren’t really a major villain or threat. Vect is just kind of an asshole in his own little corner, not one of the top big bads the way Malekith was.  But nah instead we get CHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOS coupled with ADB and Reynolds’ bizarre (but in hindsight, given what we’re shown of Chaos; sensible) revelation that actually Chaos is even more racist than the Imperium.  It leads to 40k’s central conflict being between Satanist Ethnonationalist AnCaps and TradCath Ethnonationalist Reactionaries. Creepy bloodthirsty edgelords versus Roman bust twitter pfps.  None of the other villains are ever allowed to “usurp” Chaos’ place as “the real threat” and any time non-chaotic bad guys get a time to shine, the Chaos writers pitch a fit and force in awful reminders that Chaos is actually the real threat behind everything and can never ever lose.   It makes Chaos come off less as an interesting villain and more of a childish edgelord fantasy written by a bunch of kids who go “nuh uh!” everytime they take the L or insinuate that spikelord edgy mcgee is anything less than the coolest bad guy ever made.  The fandom makes fun of Abaddon because he textually hasn’t really done much in thirteen tries? Well actually retcon in some outlandishly complicated super duper secret plan so that he and his army of *checks notes* less than one million racist storm troopers in ancap colours are actually totally the greatest threat in the setting and not the vastly more organised Tyranids or more tactically competent Necrons or the more numerous Orks.  People still make fun of abaddon because he looks like a goofy mook rather than an awesome overlord (at least Archaon looks like someone you’d immediately figure for as the big bad of a setting; Abaddon looks more like…the real bad guy’s stupid but strong brute muscle enforcer)? Have an entire novel series written to squee about how awesome and cool he is which literally none of the other “big bad” factions’ primary characters have ever gotten.   Also I am sick to death of how GW pushes Khorne as the unbeatable poster bad boy of the entire setting over and above even the rest of Chaos. Yeah his aesthetic is simple, marketable, and he’s incredibly easy to write into plots (even if I think there’s never been more interesting takes on Khorne where he’s shown as actually capable of cleverness in the pursuit of maximising mindless death and destruction as we see in Dawn of War 1 and Dawn of War 2 Retribution; where the Khornate villains have an impressively clever scheme even if the end goal is just “kill people”) and you can explain his concept to anyone.  Please stop trying to throw him into literally everything and let other bad guys have even a little bit of spotlight.   Octarius and Armageddon? Khorne crashes the party. Tzeentch threatens Luna? Well akshually Khorne invades Terra, take that nerds.  Where does Khorne even get all these worshippers to yeet themselves into every warzone in existence when he probably offers the least to his followers that most people would want? 

So on some points I agree with you, others I disagree, and in some places I understand the general feeling you’re conveying but am not quite so vitriolic.

Yes; I wish 40k as a setting was more akin to WHFB and AoS in that it permitted more factions to matter. 40k is, I agree, so myopic in it’s focus that it becomes frustrating. If the other factions weren’t playable I would understand, certainly, but if you’re going to offer players a chance to invest in the Xenos factions but then just never give them any return on that investment it feels like nothing more than lying to people.

Similarly; I also wish we saw more of a non-Human (and even then more of a non-Chaos Space Marine) component to Chaos. I find it hard to take Chaos seriously as a universal force when, over their supposedly non-linear/infinite period of existence they seem to never have done anything other than obsess over one species who, compared to the majority of other playable species in the game, have been around insanely briefly.

Yes; I do agree that I wish at times Chaos wasn’t used to usurp Xenos threats just to pull the old ‘but Chaos was the true villain all along’, see what you mention about the Hive Mind and the Great Rift, about Chaos usurping Orks on Armageddon etc. etc.

However, I disagree that Chaos is remotely as irritatingly favoured in the lore as the Imperium. Yes, it is true, that it is not infrequently written in vague terms that ‘you are all doomed, Chaos comes for you,’ but, in the majority of cases, this is purely informed, never shown. It is akin to the lines that tell us ‘Aeldari are so smart and elite,’ but then we just get shown them being curbstomped over and over again. We’re ‘told’ Chaos is some great looming threat which will win...but in practise they do only mildly better than Xenos in the lore, with Chaos losing the vast majority of everything they ever do in the lore, just like Xenos. I will admit Chaos has, lately, done *marginally* better in the lore, and that is definitely connected, as you say, to the active focus to make Chaos the ‘big bad’ now, but it is still only marginal.

I do agree that I would prefer not to see Chaos made to eclipse all other threats but my main motivation here is just because in 40k, as you point out, Chaos is never separated from the Imperium. In WHFB and AoS Chaos can take on a plurality of forms and is not just a ‘spikier’ version of the main human faction. For this reason the recent feeling I have had is just that 40k is increasingly becoming a clone of the Horus Heresy which, as someone who likes Xenos, is obviously a disappointment.

I don’t share your very strong disdain for Chaos. For the most part, in 40k’s lore, I feel Chaos is largely akin to Xenos in that we’re all glorified punching bags for Space Marines (you yourself point out Abaddon’s memetic loser status). I concede Chaos does *marginally* better but, at current, that is so inconsequential to me that it doesn’t bother me anywhere near as much as the treatment of Xenos vis-a-vise the Imperium.

My personal take is I think the favouritism as an antagonist, shown to Chaos, is less detrimental to the cause of Xenos agency in the lore than the raging boner GW and BL have for the Imperium and, in particular Space Marines. 

I also, in general, think Chaos would benefit from being developed in a more nuanced way. I don’t see them quite as cardboard-cut out as you seem too (not denying many are because BL and GW can’t write non-Imperium characters well mostly) but I think many of them have, and to an extent do also, get treated more nuanced in some of the literature. I do think a big failing here is that Black Library has made *some* efforts to make *some* of the Chaos characters interesting and nuanced but, for some reason, GW tends to just ignore this. Hence Magnus can in his own novels be portrayed as sympathetic due to his loyalty to his people and desire to not persecute Psykers, but then when appearing in a campaign supplement just makes the stock-generic ‘bow before me mortals/I am your doom/all shall fall’ comments with little to no character.

Personally, and this is recognizing as I said above that I do understand some of the points you’re making, I feel like Chaos players and Xenos players, in terms of the lore treating us like crap, have more in common than not. But, again, that’s just my personal opinion! 

hi ading !!! 4, 37, 44, 63 for the oc asks !

ATE DANI AHHHH! Thank you for sending an ask 🥺 it's pretty obvious that me and my bff @bucciaratisbralette are obsessed with them, given our constant reblogs with our fics and character sheets. We got carried away but thank you so much for asking! <333

Our OCs are members of Unità di Intelligence - an intelligence unit from JoJo's Bizarre Adventures universe

OCs ASK GAME

Matteo // Erebus

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

His bangs are white because of polisios that he inherited from his father (he also has white spots on the back of his head but he dyes it because someone called him a dalmatian once). he's also quite tall and pale so people notice him right away.

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

He doesn't currently have a dream that he wants to achieve. Rather, he doesn't have the time to think about having one because he's too busy living in the present to think about what he wants in the future. for now, he can say that he just wants to keep his unit safe and stay avoid his father.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

He doesn't like it whenever people are being incompetent. He also doesn't like it whenever the subject of his past and his family are brought up, he'd like to leave it behind. He also gets annoyed by customers sometimes if they get too Karen-y at him or his team. (Poor Matt)

63.) How does your OC display love?

He doesn't know how to properly express it, but sometimes he will tell you that you did a good job and that you should take a break. would probably also give you a thumbs up if he thinks it's appropriate.

Ivano // Deus

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

He's the shortest on the lot HAHAHAHAHA. His eyes are peculiarly blue. Like, beautiful blue. Gojo blue! And I don't know if it shows but Suga was my inspiration for his look hehe.

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

Oh, to manipulate Matteo! It was the sole reason why he joined the unit.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

He hates not being in control. Ivano probably has God complex. He thinks everyone is under his control (not really)

63.) How does your OC display love?

He is really rude to the members but I don't think Ivano understands the concept of 'love' and 'family'. Up to this day, he's still confused about why he cares for his members or his 'puppets'.

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

She's actually quite muscular and has very toned legs and biceps. the darker skin tone also attracts a few eyes on her because of where they are situated on (Italy).

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

She dreams of the day when the identity of the person who gave the order to kill her people is revealed to her. She waits for the time when she can inflict the same amount of pain they had caused her. she hasn't found them yet but she's getting there with the help of Matteo.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OCs?

She really values loyalty and those who are special to her. Do anything to betray her or hurt those dearest to her, then you can probably expect either your water to be poisoned or something happening to your blood. Her biggest pet peeve however is when people litter and when someone smokes near plants (she's alright with you smoking but just don't be near any plants)

63.) How does your OC display love?

She likes making hot chocolate for people that she cares about. She'll ask about their day and would be down to cuddle with them while they're watching movies on the tv.

Gnu // PX or Prayer X (pronounced as Gee-nu)

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

Gnu is noticeably feminine. It's because the cult his family was part of (and he escaped from) groomed children to become "lady-like". Gnu also wore clothes that are color white so now, he's VERY obsessed with black clothing.

Another thing that is noticeable from Gnu are the two dots on his cheeks. These are actually tattoos that he got from the tattoo shop Mundo suggested back when he was still exploring his taste in fashion.

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

His dream is for things to stay as it is, really. He considers his members as his family now and to lose his family for the second time is something he'd rather not happen.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

Gnu hates seeing children getting hurt. By children, I mean anyone younger than him. That's why he's kind of protective of Achiyaku, Finn, and Mundo. He also hates people who are greedy for power. This killed the other children from his cult, after all.

63.) How does your OC display love?

I'd like to say his love language is Acts of Service? He likes to draw quick sketches (he's a great painter) of the other members. He's pretty protective with the younger ones, too - even does the things for them even (like reaching this, picking up that, cleaning this, closing that, the little things).

Mundo // Mundo

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

He's....so random. He has this tacky hoodie and he has nothing underneath it. His hair is dyed with an unusual shade of blue. His glasses don't match the "aesthetic" he's trying to pull and he has this weird stars and moon tattoo under his eyes (yes, he got it when he recommended the tattoo shop to Gnu).

It's not even possible to not physically notice him. The colors are all over the place and he's...exotic.

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

Mundo is short and simple minded. As of now, he consideres joining the unit as his biggest dream (he is not an official member) in which Matteo (the leader) does not approve of since he's only 16 and should be studying instead of loitering at their business.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

Hmmmmm....Mundo is a very positive person so I don't know if there are things that upsets him. I barely know him as a character, but he loves to have fun and he barely shows other sides of him to others. His background story has not been posted yet but Mundo is an individual the others barely know. No one knows his real name, his family background, where he studies, his real intentions, etc.

He's very mysterious....

63.) How does your OC display love?

CLINGY. CUDDLES. SURPRISE TACKLES. SURPRISE HUGS. He's like that younger brother that's literally obsessed with anything you do. He loves to cling to Ivano the most and Ivano keeps on swating him away (he "hates" him, he said) but this does not stop him from pestering him LOL.

Finn // Hermes

4.) What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

His cheeks are really full and are soft to pinch (but please don't pinch without permission. Also why he looks younger than he is)

37.) What is your OC’s biggest dream?

He wanted to become a bigshot in the robotics and AI field, but after running away when his brother died, he doesn't know anymore. he still likes his robots and coding so the dream might not be dead afterall.

44.) What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

he doesn't like it whenever people would talk bad about his brother (back in Germany). he also doesn't like it whenever people gossip about his team (especially those who talk badly about Ivano and Matteo). Finn also doesn't appreciate it if people were to touch anything that he was working on (be it a new model for his robot or his laptop if he's working on a code). Also gets annoyed whenever people call his stand creepy (he personally doesn't understand why they think so (RBR in the back: 👁👄👁) )

63.) How does your OC display love?

he smiles more around people and would try to engage in conversation more often. he would let them touch the robots he's working on and explain to them how it should function if he gets the coding right (MUNDO LOVES THEM EVEN IF HE DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE). also cuddles are appreciated.

My Mystic Messenger Opinions

(That no one asked for)

Zen

Character: 8/10 I know a lot of people think Zens annoying but I find him endearing. One of the best things about this game is the complexity of the characters and I love that Zen’s cockiness is actually how he hides his insecurities. Even though he’s egotistical about himself, he’s never shallow with MC. He says multiple times that he doesn’t care about MC’s looks. He loves her for who she is and shows this in how he makes an effort to get to know her and be her cheerleader everyday. An underrated thing about Zen is how emotionally intelligent he is. He’s great at helping the RFA members when they need emotional support (Yoosung’s grief over loosing Rika, Jaehee crying from the stress of her job and MC’s shock at almost being kidnapped). 

Route: 2/10 Zen is a great character and he deserves a better route. The false rape accusation plot is horrible and offensive. Also, his route functions as an introduction to the game’s plot, so it’s exposition heavy and lacks action. The creators said that the lesson of his route is that when our insecurities are handled in a healthy way, they can push us to be better people. I love this message and I wish it had been highlighted more in his route.

Romantic Potential: 9/10 Zen is arguably the most dateable of all the characters. He’s a bad boy without being sketchy. He’s protective without being possessive. He’s kind without being a pushover and he’s smart without being pretentious. His biggest drawbacks are his overconfidence and and how busy he is with working. There aren’t any glaring red flags. 

~ More under the cut ~ 

Jeahee

Character: 7/10 I love this adorable theater nerd! She comes across as formal and stuffy at first, but reveals herself to be passionate and funny the more you get to know her. I gave her a lower score because she does have a strong personality that rubs me the wrong way sometimes (her jealousy of MC in Zen’s route, her lack of sympathy towards Jumin in her own route and her general rudeness towards Yoosung). She is the most mature of the RFA though, so her exasperation is warranted. Being mature and grounded also makes Jaehee the least complex Mysme character. I’ve got a lot of respect for her though!

Route: 5/10 Getting to engage in discourse about capitalism and the patriarchy? Amazing and hands down the best part of her route. It’s really inspiring to see Jaehee stand up for herself and choose to follow her dreams. I think it’s important for every young person to hear that they should have a positive work/life balance and demand that their employer supports that. Other highlights are Seven helping Jaehee by making the Power Point presentation for Jumin’s cat project, getting to fangirl with Jaehee over Zen and the creepy stalker plot. I thoroughly enjoy her route and the only reason the score is so low is because some of the other routes are seriously incredible.

Romantic Potential: 8/10 Jeahee doesn’t have any red flags either. I think she’s perfectly capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. The biggest issue standing in their way is Korea’s bias against lesbian relationships. As a fellow coffee lover and theater enthusiast though, I could definitely see myself or someone similar having a happy life with her, even if it might have to be in secret.

Yoosung

Character: 6/10 I can’t stand people who aren’t competent. Yoosung is a terrible cook, he barely cleans and he doesn’t pay attention to his studies. On top of that, 80% of his personality is that he’s a gamer AND he’s in love with his “dead” adopted cousin. Yuck. ~ But ~ I understand that he’s depressed and depression can seriously effect someone’s executive functioning. Taking all of those negatives away, we’re left with a young man who’s trying to his best to be taken seriously, which is something I can relate to. It’s nice to see imposter syndrome represented and I admire his loyalty to his friends. 

Route: 8/10 This route is sooo good! Who can forget the night when the RFA starts being aggressively stalked by Minty Eye? And the pic Zen takes of a believer looking at him through his apartment window...chills. His route only gets better from there when he infiltrates Mint Eye with Seven. This is the first time we get to see the twins interact and damn, is it confusing. But in a good way!!   The biggest drawback is that MC is stuck in Rika’s apartment and doesn’t play much of an active role in the story. 

Romantic Potential: 7/10 Despite all the negatives I listed about Yoosung, I do think he’s capable of have a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. Yoosung is also the only true sub of the RFA men, which is a definite plus for some players. Yoosung’s yandere side is a huge red flag though. MC better watch out if she doesn’t dote on him as much as he wants. Once he falls for her, he’s all in. 

Jumin

Character: 5/10 Unpopular opinion, but I hate Jumin. I understand that he’s some people’s guilty pleasure though. Jumin’s good aspects are that he’s intensely loyal, an animal lover and has a dry sense of humor. I appreciate how devoted he is to the RFA and it’s members. He offers to help Zen multiple times (albeit rejected), sends everyone body guards in his route and pays the hospital in the SE to keep Saeran’s identity top secret. What I’m not a fan of is the way he obsesses over MC and traps her in his house. This isn’t the first time he’s shown obsessive tendencies either. Seven explicitly states that Jumin acted this way with Rika in the past. Huuuge red flag.  

Route: 3/10 His entire route is fraught with rich people problems. I’m supposed to sympathize with him for an arranged marriage? All he had to do was say no. His father couldn’t force him. He’s possessive of MC because women have only ever wanted to be with him for his money? Not an excuse. Elizabeth going missing was a vaguely interesting story line, but Jumin’s relationship with his cat was cringey enough to overshadow the drama of it for me.

Romantic Potential: 3/10 Jumin has some serious issues. He’s never had a good female role model which has given him a deep seeded hatred of women. Remember when he tells MC that respecting women goes against his core beliefs? Yikes. Then, after meeting a woman who respects him and he actually likes, he locks her up and tries to change everything about her (cutting her hair, buying her a new wardrobe, teaching her the ‘proper’ way to walk, etc). We’re supposed to believe Jumin learns to be better by the end of his route, but he still proposes to MC after only a week of knowing her! I’m having a hard time picturing Jumin in a healthy relationship. 

Saeyoung

Character: 10/10 I’m not saying Saeyoung is a good person. Far from it actually. But he IS very well written and extremely interesting. In the other routes, Saeyoung is energetic and funny, bringing much needed humor to heavy moments. It’s always a joy being in a chatroom with him. Then you have the reveal that he actually hates his job and that he was faking his personality, all to a sad and slowed down version of his theme song. This plot twist shook me to my core. What makes him so well written is that the devs did a good job dropping hints to his real personality in the other routes that players might not notice during their first play through. 

Route: 9/10 This route is a wild ride from start to finish. This is when the plot threads from the other routes come together and start make sense. This route has secret agents, assassins, a deadly bomb, kidnapping, an evil twin, a powerful cult... It’s action heavy while still carrying enough emotional weight to make me cry every time. Saeyoung’s route is heavy and emotional and sooo worth playing. 

Romantic Potential: 6/10 Saeyoung has a shady job and a complicated past. Choosing to be with him means putting your life in danger every day. If you’re okay with that, he’d be a decent romantic partner. He’s a little rough around the edges, but I do think he has potential to become more like his ideal self (God Seven) after reading his AE. He’ll always have that mean and serious side to him, but I don’t think he’s hopeless. 

V

Character: 4/10 He’s low-key the worst. I sympathize with his trauma from being abused by Rika, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to fix everything by himself. Rika might be the source of most problems in this game, but V is partially responsible for standing by and letting her get away with everything. 

My first issue with him comes from encouraging Saeyoung to join the agency. I know Saeyoung didn’t have many options, but how was encouraging him to train to become a hacker and assassin the best option?! On top of that, he stalked Zen per Rika’s request and took creeper photos of him, failed miserably at protecting Saeran and don’t get me started on how he loves Rika unconditionally. V has some good characteristics but I really don’t care about those when he’s so terrible otherwise. 

Route: 10/10 This route is *chef’s kiss* the BEST. I wouldn’t call it a romance since Vs barely in it but damn is it riveting. Saeran is the perfect amount of loving and unhinged, MC get’s to know Rika on a personal level and V finally gets to be active instead of just reactive like he is in all the other routes. It’s also  satisfying to find out how much V has been keeping secret and to get a glimpse into Rika’s psyche. But what really makes V’s route stand out among the rest is that there are spy action scenes like in Saeyoung’s route, but the player also gets to spend time in Mint Eye.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I’ll be honest. I don’t think V will ever be able to move on from Rika. He’ll always love her, as evidence in his AE. Besides that drawback, I do think he’d be a good romantic partner for MC. V was never the issue in his past relationship with Rika. She was the abusive one and he was 100% the victim. I think he would treat MC just as well in their relationship as he treated Rika. 

Saeran

Character: 7/10 I know I’m not the only one who loved the suave and cunning Saeran of the main routes who, after getting the therapy he needed, became an adorably shy and awkward man. Sadly, that’s not the character we got in AS. Instead, we met Ray, the split personality of Saeran’s psyche. Ray is charming and sweet as well as possessive and manipulative...which is something I’m into. But it’s not for everyone. Saeran’s real personality in AS is revealed to be angry and abusive and not at all similar to who he was in the main routes. I’ll give Cheritz props for writing a fairly accurate portrayal of disassociative identity disorder, but I think Saeran’s characterization is inconsistent. I get the impression Ray was an afterthought when creating AS. 

Route: 7/10 A mixed bag for me. I really enjoy any chatroom/scene with Ray. He’s undeniably creepy, but those scenes were entertaining in a dark romance kind of way. On the other hand, the Saeran scenes had a lot of unrealized potential. Abuse is never cool. All his route needed to fix this was a scene where Saeran explained to MC that he was pretending to hate her to appease Rika and the other believers. While this fake hatred is implied, I think it needed to be outright stated. It’s also hard to believe that Saeran overcame his DID in the course of one night. I know all routes are limited to 11 days, but this one needed more. Highlights of this route are Saeyoung being kidnapped by his father and of course, dark Yoosung with Elizabun. 

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I truly do believe that Saeran could go on and live a happy life in any of the endings where he escapes Mint Eye and receives therapy. While we only get a glimpse of what an emotionally stable Searan looks like, we know that he was kind and attentive with MC. Saeran is a giver and would do anything to make MC happy. Red flags are that Searan is still clingy at the end of his route. Yoosung makes a comment that he’s always holding MC’s hand when he sees them together. Also, his DID is something that will occasionally return and that’s something MC has to go into their relationship knowing. 

I love how they mirror each other, here they say the same thing in unison - they definitely fit well together (and that goes even in things like keeping the other person in the dark for their own good/taking decisions out of that person’s hands - this is such a pattern between them that honestly it doesn’t bother me because it’s clearly a basic character trait and it would be weird for it to disappear. She pushed him away on the mountain, he pushed her away repeatedly as Lord Bo, she drugged him to go and rescue his brother etc etc. That’s just how they are dysfunctionally built.)

This happens much later but I feel like bringing it up now so:

They have clearly cut the FUCK out of the plot. I mean, this comes out of nowhere - now she has super strength thing (and probably hulked out since she asked Snake Lady about whether she hurt her) like Wolfie used to but also black blood which means imminent death and WHAT HOW WHY I feel like I skipped five episodes. Honestly, the things I want to do to the censors should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

I mean, three versions - (1) she decided to take the hulk out medicine because she wanted to go rescue Fourth Brother so Wolfie won’t go and die. She didn’t care about the side effects danger because she doesn’t want to live without Wolfie anyway but they are even quicker and more severe than she thought. That doesn’t make sense since she has a whole army at her disposal, she doesn’t need to go by herself. (2) She took it as part of effort to find antidote for Wolfie’s issues and either it failed or she didn’t lie when she told Wolfie during their wedding there is an antidote (and there is some plot reason why he could have it but she can’t.) (3) Remember that weird as hell treatment the King told Snake Lady to give to her supposedly for her legs back way when and it was gonna be a means to control her and there was something creepy in the water but they never showed what and it seemed to have been dropped. I think the King could have ordered Snake Lady to give her that stuff, but it was only a little and maybe the plan went haywire later with all that happened, so it didn’t really catch up with her until now. 

I mean, I really NEED to know that stuff. It drives me crazy that it clearly had a very functional plot (no, it was never going to be Joy of Life or The Story of Minglan, but it clearly had a thought out dark fairy tale type of plot - certainly as solid as e.g., Prince of Lan Ling, Love and Redemption or similar) but because of the cuts, some of it now lurches as a no-leg monster. The drama still works so much for me because of its emotional, shippy and character beats, but objectively the narrative becomes a huge mess at times.

The other thing (I was talking about it to @andoqin​ and I am lazy and am stealing a lot of it from what I said in chat), is in the original Wolfie killed her father (just take a look at those scenes - the build, the weapons, the clothes, it’s Wolfie) and censors made them cut it. Which - then the story then becomes “I hated him but now I know he didn’t kill my dad, I do not” and that is a fun cliche but cliche. But it’s a factual mess and emotionally the other narrative is more interesting.

Factually:

1. She never talks during her big taking him back scene about “now I know you are utterly innocent of killing my dad” which you would think be the biggest relevant point. No, all she talks is his expiating and redeeming and paying back.

2. If he never killed her family and didn’t even know they would be killed (which wtf - the King clearly thinks he is capable of killing the woman he loves if the king asks, but will cavil at killing a random old man?) plus we never see his supposed atrocities, what does he need to atone for? Sure, he executed some people on orders of king but all we see are adult rebel types. And he was an epic jerk to her. But being a bad boyfriend and carrying commands of the king (and none of these commands are particularly depraved thanks to the censors) is run of the mill feudal lord behavior. I mean, the way the censors left things, he’s better than Feng Xi in Twisted Fate of Love who killed the heroine upon meeting her (and he didn’t know she was immortal and come back), whipped her (to free her from prison; at least none of Wolfie’s insanity included a whipping), and does a hell of shady stuff for noble vengeance reasons. But (rightly), there is no issue with Feng Xi because he has ok reasons for his actions, falls hard for DY, is willing to die for her etc. Feng Xi is certainly not being shipped to the mines and repenting like he’s been murdering babies. No should he be, I hasten to add, but in the modified narrative, neither should Wolfie! I mean his horror and repentance and hitting rock bottom and all that suffering become out of proportion to any of his wrongs (he is solidly middle of the pack as far as period cdrama heroes and bad stuff.) Like - unless they are all Quakers, he doesn’t have that much to repent for to that extent. “My father the king is a douche and I treated you badly” might be break up territory but it’s not REPENT SINNER one. (Same goes to everyone calling him a monster and him believing it and how hard it hits him just as it hits him hard when she insists he’s a human. Since he doesn’t turn into a literal physical monster any more nor has he even been shown to do horrific things other than some really veiled allusions, it makes me think all those other people calling him that are a bunch of hysterics.)

3. In this narrative, the Trio were the only ones who killed Daddy. Fine. But she has no interest in seeking revenge on the remaining two. None. 

And that brings me to the point that emotionally, the original narrative to me is so much stronger because there he (and Trio) killed her family but she can look past it because she realizes they were all tools of a monster who were brought up and gaslit and brainwashed and had basically no choice about any of it, and they genuinely cared for her. With respect to Wolfie, he was basically tortured into inhumanity but he still loved her so much and all of his actions where he was horrid to her were driven not by cruel enjoyment of her suffering or lack of feeling but by his love and need to protect her. And he literally tried to die to expiate. And I love that this is what matters to her - what was the deal breaker for her never was her family’s death because she understands even early on that none of them had a choice or even ability to fully consent and comprehend what they were doing. Her deal breaker was not that he (and the Trio) was damaged and was forced to do awful stuff, but that he enjoyed it, that he didn’t care, that his love was not genuine, that he didn’t have a loving loyal heart under all the damage. And honestly, that narrative is so much more powerful to me.

So I’m suuuper late to the party, but I finally, finally finished Rhythm of War. 

I am delighted by it. Thoughts and reactions under the cut, just in case for spoilers.

OKAY SO I had a lot of feelings about this book, and I wanted to be able to sit down and read the book properly and devote time to it, instead of sneaking paragraphs here or there during work breaks. So that’s why it took me so long to read it. In a way I feel like a terrible fan for taking so long when I was so excited about reading it for over a year, but in another way I am satisfied that I did it justice.

General thoughts/reactions:

I am legitimately impressed with how well Sanderson handled Shallan’s Dissociative Identity Disorder. DID is one of those mental illnesses that gets butchered so hard in media, and carries such a stigma of being “evil” or “creepy.” But Shallan’s representation seems much more factual in terms of how we know DID works today, including but not limited to:

Created from a severe trauma at a very young age, in which the brain starts splitting itself in order to protect against traumas and form survival mechanisms

Alters exist to protect the system and handle tasks for the host that the host cannot handle. Both Veil and Radiant handle tasks/functions that Shallan can’t

Also establishing that different alters can have different skills (such as Shallan being good at drawing and Lightweaving while Veil is bad at it, or Radiant handling espionage poorly)

Establishing that actual DID treatments do include encouraging alters to learn to work together and establish communication lines between each other. I like that the three create a pact to work together and rules to stand by and enforce them on each other to the best of their ability. They mess up sometimes (Radiant killing Ialai, Veil forcibly taking over sometimes). But they try. 

But also establishing that prior to Shallan’s realization of what was happening at the end of Oathbringer, each of these alters had their own memories and ways of handling things and did not necessarily communicate with each other

Establishing that multiple times in prior books when Shallan thought she was ‘acting’ she was actually Blending with another identity, either Veil or Radiant. This becomes more apparent when Veil or Radiant actively discuss being the ones to do things that were previously from “Shallan’s” perspective (such as Veil learning slight of hand/etc at the beginning of Words of Radiance). This stuck out to me as especially interesting since accounts of people with DID often mention not knowing they have it or are switching for years, but being semi-aware of doing things differently than normal. 

Veil being a protector-type alter and a trauma holder is extraordinarily common in DID cases and made an absolute ton of sense. It also suggests that she’s been around for YEARS longer than before Shallan ‘created’ her which, again, is not uncommon with DID cases

Veil, at least, also acts like she’s much older than Shallan, even calling her things like ‘kid.’ While Veil is, of course, no older than Shallan, this is completely accurate that alters can have different ages and even different genders to the host body in terms of how they perceive themselves

Establishing that fusions/integrations are possible, with Veil being ‘absorbed’ by Shallan at the end. This is a part of DID treatment and I like that it was handled in a way where both alters consented and the trauma was released, but it was handled. Even if Veil developed additional skills over time, it’s clear her first and foremost job was as a trauma holder alter, and once the trauma was no longer being hidden, her ‘purpose’ was done. And now Veil is a part of Shallan, and the expectation is that somewhere down the line, Radiant will join too.

Very very VERY VERY importantly, establishing Shallan’s interaction with other characters as a system with DID in a way that did not make her look like she was ‘crazy.’ DID is super serious and systems are often stigmatized. But I adored that Adolin is supportive and treats each alter on their own playing field (and even seems to be able to recognize them without Shallan changing hair color). I love that other characters like Kaladin admit they don’t exactly get it, but do their best to be respectful of it anyway. I love that nobody treats Shallan like a freak and sticks her in a padded room, and that people DO respect her wishes and treat Veil and Radiant as equally viable people. I love that it’s treated so healthily. 

Honestly my only real ‘hmm, not exactly like that’ moments were thinking back on how Shallan ‘created’ personalities. Veil being a trauma holder for Shallan’s old memories implies she’s been around for a long time, so she wasn’t really “created” in that sense, just given more of a face/name. But Radiant appears to have been created spur of the moment when Adolin was all ‘hey, let me teach you to swordfight!!!’ To the best of my knowledge people with DID don’t really have control over when they split, nor do they really get to actively ‘design’ their alters. It’s more like alters form as needed to handle something. But considering how accurate everything else is, and that possibly this is just Shallan’s way of handling her splitting in a way that makes sense to her, I’m willing to give this a cautious pass.

Also maybe lost memory moments. People with DID generally can lose time. Shallan doesn’t seem to, but then towards the end we also see she’s not a reliable narrator in her own right, since somehow Radiant managed to kill Ialai when we’re reading that passage. So it’s possible we the readers are missing things because Shallan is, too.

That said, the way DID works, it will never really go away even if Shallan does fully integrate. I’m curious if more alters could form down the line. I thought this had been happening with ‘Formless,’ but Formless didn’t turn out to be another alter so much. Oh well.

I had wondered about Shallan and Pattern’s bond for a while, and I’d been wondering if maybe she had a different spren ever since Pattern mentioned he could go away or she might kill him too back in...Oathbringer, I think it was? It seemed strange to me that Shallan wouldn’t have seen him around for a long time in his pattern form, or that she’d get chased by so many cryptics in book 1, if she’d been bonded to him this whole time. Or that she had a shardblade she could summon in book 1, but Pattern hadn’t been established as a character yet. And then when Adolin met a deadeye Cryptic in Shadesmar, I was like, ‘damn, that’s Shallan’s first spren isn’t it.’ And I was vindicated. I feel stupidly proud of myself for catching even one of Sanderson’s twists.

I think this is the first book in the series where Kaladin’s arc didn’t really grab me as much as the others to start. Not that it was bad, I still really enjoyed it, especially towards the end. But I was surprised to find when I got to Part Three and Kaladin’s name was listed but Adolin’s wasn’t that I went, ‘awww, damn,’ and used that as my break point for the night. 

I think part of this is that so much of Kaladin’s story that I love and adore is about not just Kaladin, but Kaladin’s friends and found family arcs with Bridge Four, and so much of that was taken away from him in the early part of the story. Like Kaladin, I guess I was just sad about everyone moving on and him being along. Sigzil going off to be the new Windrunner leader, Rock leaving, Rlain leaving (for a while at least), Adolin and Shallan leaving...it was hard. I felt his depression. Unfortunately, it made it a bit difficult to read, I guess.

On the flip side though, Kaladin’s ending arc in the story was A+ and I loved it. I love that his Fourth Ideal is specifically accepting that he cannot save everyone, which is something he’s struggled with from his very first appearance in the very first book. I love how this sheds so much light on that moment in Oathbringer where Syl is calling for him to speak the words and he just can’t, because at the time, he wasn’t ready to accept that he couldn’t save everyone. I love that he admits to Dalinar that he really did need help and a chance to recover, and that his setup for the next book doesn’t seem to be as Stormblessed, the soldier, but as a healer. And I love that he made up with his dad in the end, and did manage to at least save him.

ROCK. NOOOO.

TEFT. NOOOOOO! 

And yet as always, Sanderson books are the only books where I really feel...ok with character death. It’s sad, for sure, but also deaths have purpose in his stories. Nobody is killed meaninglessly. 

I think my favorite arc was Adolin’s, throughout the whole course of the book? I can’t help it. I love my enthusiastic, optimistic himbo who is just doing his best. Every time he was like ‘well I’m useless since I’m not a Radiant, but I’ll do the best I can’ I was like NO, HONEY NO, YOU’RE SO IMPORTANT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE REALLY? Look at all the people you help!!! Just look at them all!!! 

As stated earlier, I love that he’s just so damned supportive of Shallan’s condition. Even if they don’t have words for ‘DID’ in Roshar or even understand it in their own terms, he’s just so damn supportive. She tells him she’s got multiple alters and he’s just like ‘cool, how can I help.’ He loves his wife. He’s friendly with Radiant. He’ll share jabs with Veil. He just wants to help, always. 

I love that he’s so supportive of Kaladin too. I adored towards the beginning, where Kaladin’s going into a depressive spiral, and Syl gets Adolin because Adolin is one of the few people he can’t intimidate. And I adore that Adolin is supportive, but in a way that shows he gets it. He knows it’s not safe to leave Kaladin alone with himself and refuses to let that happen. But he also doesn’t force him to participate and acknowledges that yeah, you can feel like shit, and that’s ok, but you’re gonna feel like shit around other people, because it’ll help you. And it does. And I love that a thousand pages later Kaladin starts going into another depressive spiral and happens to mention, ‘fuck, Adolin’s not here to pull me out this time,’ recognizing what Adolin can do. I just love how much their friendship has progressed.

I love that he’s still so supportive of his brother, even if Renarin was barely in this book. I love that he even briefly defends Renarin against Shallan, even when he recognizes she doesn’t really mean any harm. 

I adore his continued arc with Maya. I love that he was so excited to go to Shadesmar so he could see her again. I love how he’s clearly had offers from spren or other Radiants to talk to spren about bonding to him, and he’s like, ‘nah,’ cause he’s loyal to her. I love how everyone keeps insisting ‘deadeyes can’t speak, deadeyes can’t feel’ and he’s just like, yes?? Yes they can??? Have you ever fucking tried??? I love that it’s his genuine connection to Maya that helps her recover enough to actually talk on her own with more clarity, and how she’s clearly coming back to herself. And what a revelation, that Maya and the others deliberately sacrificed themselves. And I love that ultimately it’s his bond with Maya that gives him success with the honorspren. He did this his own way, with his own skills, in a unique way that nobody else has ever done before, because maybe he’s not a Radiant in the shiny new sense of the word, but he’s the only person out there willing to treat his sword like a partner and show kindness to spren and that shows. 

I also really do hope he works stuff out with his dad because he’s got every right to be angry but also, I want him to be happy :( 

Ultimately I adore Adolin’s whole polarity, that he’s a masterful duelist and combatant, and has probably killed hundreds, and yet his best quality is his sheer kindness. He has really grown on me as a character since book one, honestly. I remember not liking him in book one. I still don’t, when I reread it! But in the rest, he’s probably second only to Kaladin as my favorite.

Venli. I remember not really liking Venli in earlier books. I thought Eshonai was cool, but Venli I remember just not really vibing with. Seeing her story really made her a lot more interesting to me though, especially since I love her whole gradual growth as a character. Openly admitting to herself that she’s a coward and just wanted to get attention against her sister...and then doing something about it to better herself. Doubting her abilities to do so and being uneasy about it the whole time, but ultimately doing it anyway. She’s a flawed character, but she’s a good character, and I grew to like her so much more after seeing her story. 

Also, I loved Eshonai’s mercy at the end there. Fuckin yes. Bittersweet smiles all around.

Szeth-son-son-Vallano wore white on the day he was to kill a king, because apparently white is the listener battle color, it makes SENSE now

I am also veeery curious what is going on with Szeth, who wasn’t really in this book all that much. And I’m curious if ‘Sixteen’ in Lasting Integrity is actually his dad, because they sure drew attention to a hiding Shin man and then immediately never mentioned him again. 

Raboniel. MAN. What a fucking character. I was fascinated with her from the beginning. I never knew exactly what to think of her, because we see her from so many perspectives. Leshwi, who has been established as possibly the ‘goodest’ and most sane of the Fused, openly tells us not to trust her. We learn she’s done terrible things in her lifetime, like trying to create a plague to destroy all of humanity, and one of her titles is just straight-up scary af. She learns how to really, truly, actually kill spren, which is terrifying. She tried to kill the Sibling, which is obviously Super Bad. And yet, she’s such a compelling character. She’s polite and reasonable, to a degree. Clever and enormously genre-savvy, but also blunt and to the point, knowing full well Venli is being used to spy on her and Navani is working against her and blatantly stating so. She’s so intelligent, and is willing to both respect Navani and work with her to create things together, and recognize her worth. I never fully trusted her at any point, because we know she’s done so much to be scared of, but man, I enjoyed reading her segments so freaking much. I was sad when she died, and her weird frenemy relationship with Navani was really intriguing. 

I really enjoyed Dabbid’s little segments. I’m so happy he’s comfortable talking around the others. I’m also happy to see Sanderson delving into including more autistic characters in different points on the spectrum, while also showing other people treating them well.

Taravangian. I still don’t know where to stand on this guy and I’m very nervous now that he’s basically a god and apparently smart enough to outwit everyone else again. I was excited when he actually managed to kill Rayse but fuck, we might have been better off with Rayse.

SOMEBODY ACTUALLY MANAGAGED TO OUTWIT HOID AND I’M SCARED AF AT WHAT THAT MEANS

Moash. I just. Fuck. I don’t even know. I’m not even sure if this counts as him killing under his own power or not. He doesn’t really want to take responsibility for his actions, and as long as Odium takes his pain and feelings, he doesn’t have to. But that moment when he wasn’t protected, he seemed upset with what he had done. So I really have no damned clue where his story is gonna go. But fuck, it’s scary how easily he almost undid Kaladin completely. He knew exactly what buttons to press. We’re lucky the Pursuer ignored him and attacked anyway, or he really would’ve won.

I’ll admit, my Cosmere knowledge is less than stellar, so I’m still not entirely sure I understand the stuff with the Heralds and Mraize. But I am definitely curious to see where it’s going on a surface level, at least. 

LIFT USES LIFELIGHT that explains a lot. I wish she’d been in this story more because I adore her lol. 

I know Sanderson announced Ace Jasnah a while back, but I love that it’s been so firmly established in the book itself. No beating around the bush or leaving people to wonder. She just straight-up says she’s got no real interest in sexual stuff and never really got how it drove others. I love it. I love seeing that so honestly and bluntly stated. 

Anyway I’m sure there’s a lot more to be said but overall, A++++ as always, super adored, next one when???? 

Tell me about your Jujutsu Kaisen, Fire Force, amd Bungo Stray Dogs ocs, I dont care how long the explanation is

Oh dear lord

Okay so I'm entirely uncreative when it comes to names, so my jjk and ff names are similar, and because I haven't experimented with my bsd oc that much they're unnamed (I actually haven't thought about a bsd oc until now? Bc they're based off of books and idk books that much lmaooo)

1) Jujutsu Kaisen: Kaimu Kageyama

So Kaimu is a teenager that does not want to be involved with the shaman world at all whatsoever. They've been able to see curses since they were a child, however they don't come from a clan of shamans, so everyone they told just thought they were hallucinations. Because of this she was in and out of the hospital and eventually she just gave up telling people and just accepted they were there.

Sometime during their junior year they attend Satozakura highschool and become part of the band club, where they meet Junpei. They only meet Junpei bc once the movie appreciation club and the band club had to share a room. They never talked to Junpei, and all they knew is all the sudden he stopped coming to school, there was the big attack at the school (they just so happened to be absent that day) and all the sudden Junpei was dead.

Now all the sudden Kaimu is being haunted by Junpei. Now they both think it's because Junpei is a guardian angel and Junpei thinks he's been sent back to earth to find Yuji, but it's ACTUALLY because Kaimu has the ability to summon shamans that have passed on to the afterlife.

So this whole ordeal begins because now they have this broody goth boy following them around on TOP of the curses that's pestering them about this pink haired idiot they've never heard of. Finally they give in and end up stalking Yuji's instagram to find out where he is so that MAYBE Junpei will leave them alone. Chaos ensues and they end up at an occult shop Yuji frequented before eating Sukuna's finger.

Now once Kaimu gets there, they're forced to take a cursed Kusarigama they don't want. When they refuse to take it, the shop keeper, which is actually a high intelligence curse, attacks them and forces them to fight back.

This queues Nobara and Megumi to show up (idk why they're there tbh just pretend it's a good reason). The kids are trying to get the Kusarigama away from Kaimu, the curse is trying to get them to fight, and Kaimu has no idea who to trust. Finally they go to give the weapon to Nobara, when the whole damn thing starts to wrap itself around them and absorb into their skin. Once their body has literally absorbed the weapon, Kaimu becomes "possessed" similar to Yuji, although they can't control it at first and they go feral. They kill the curse instantly and move on to Nobara and Megumi until Yuji and Gojo show up on scene. Gojo uses his weird power thingy to knock Kai out and on with the story

Kaimu totally wakes up in the same room Yuji does btw

In the beginning, Kaimu doesn't want to be there. They run away every chance they get, only to be chased and successfully caught by Gojo. They really hate Gojo at first too, because he's so sarcastic and smug and seems to be laughing at their pain, when rlly he's just trying to keep them on his side bc with proper training they might just be the strongest student either technical college has ever seen. They do have a power like no other.

Finally Gojo gets through to Kai and they decide to stay. Instead of Gojo adding them as a fourth new year, however, he decides to have the first and second years teach them everything they may need to know. It's kinda urgent they learn everything they can because now they have a target on their back larger than Yuji ever did.

Maki teaches them more about the cursed weapon their body possesses, bc it's kinda only happened once before. They learn that the weapon, in a sense, controls their body. It reacts more to anger and agression (for example, Megumi punched Kai, and while it did make Kai angry, they didn't have control when their arm punched Megumi back twice as hard.) Maki teaches them how to use the weapon once they summon it out of their body as well.

Yuji is in charge of helping regulate Kai's emotions so the weapon can come out at will (when Junpei isn't distracting them; no one else can see Junpei bc Kai hasn't made a formal contract with him yet). Sadly Kai has to go through the same movie training as Yuji does and gets punched many, many times.

Nobara is only in charge of teaching Kaimu to imbue their cursed energy into curses through their Kusarigama, but is inadvertently teaching Kai to come out of their shell. She also assists Panda, who's only function is strength training.

Megumi and Inumaki get the most important jobs: actually teaching Kai about their technique, and sign language. Hear me out

Megumi and Kai's techniques are very similar, because they're both creating contracts with things they can summon that help them in battle. While Megumi uses hand puppets, Kai has to sign the shaman's name they want to summon. So really the first person Kai even interacts with st the school is Inumaki.

At some point Sukuna gets involved. The Tokyo trio gets badly injured in battle, and Kai has only known Sukuna for a little bit but knows for a fact that Sukuna will only heal Yuji and leave the rest to die, so they decide to make a deal with Sukuna: they'll do whatever he wants as long as he kills the curse and helps save the rest.

Sukuna agrees, and the only thing he asks is that Kai saves everyone themselves, and he gets to call them into his domain to chat whenever he's wants. He unbinds the last seal on the curse inhabiting their body and watches him take over. Sukuna uses the same Abraxis curse btw.

Kaimu is able to control curse better now, and Sukuna informs them it's actually their dad from a thousand years ago and they're actually a half curse. Sukuna is indifferent on which side they choose, but he informs them that they can also summon and create curses, which is why a lot of shamans want them dead as well as the curses.

The story low key becomes Kaimu having to fight against their dad persuading them to be evil, and Yuji's protag abilities to make them good.

It's a mess.

Also this Kaimu is non-binary considering transitioning, and everyone is very supportive of it. When Kai gets their uniform, they're very worried that Gojo is gonna give them a skirt like the other girls bc they're afab, but they're very happy to learn they get pants with a bad ass cloak and hood that stops just below their elbows. Kai also gets a choice as to which dorm they get to stay in and they choose the boys dorms, who accepts them with open arms.

2) Fire Force: Kaimu Kusakabe

Yeah okay we Shinra and Shō's cousin

So this isn't revealed until later on in the story, but when Kaimu was a child, her mom died in what was believed to be an infernalization, but was actually a cover up. This was Shinra's aunt. Kaimu never got to meet Shinra until later on when she seeks him out.

Now Shinra's grandma refused to take him in after his mom died bc of his ability and because she thought he was a murderer. Grandma Kusakabe takes Kaimu in begrudgingly because Kaimu was able to suppress the ability she developed and Burns uncovered her step father had set it up to look like an infernalization when in reality he was abusing her.

Grandma moved Kaimu out to the country, away from people. There she meets a little boy around her age because she's sitting at a bus stop and the other neighborhood kids are making fun of her. The boy shoos them off and tries to make friends with her, but it doesn't work out well. She reveals she's waiting for her dad to come back from the military on the bus like he used to when she was little, but she doesn't realize that he's been dead for months because no one told her.

After a few weeks pass she begins to trust the boy she still doesn't know the name of. He's sorta pushy about being friends with her without being too overbearing. She stops pushing him away when she's sitting at the bus stop snd it starts to rain. She was just gonna sit there and suffer until an umbrella appears over her. The boy explains that he saw on the news it was going to rain and he knew she would be there. After teasing him for knowing there would be two people but only one umbrella, she accepts his offer to walk her home. This is a hint. Take it.

The kids really bond when she takes him to a desert full if skelton's that they really aren't supposed to go to but go to anyway. The boy thinks they're creepy, but Kaimu talks about how cool they are. They find a skull and Kaimu decides to keep it. This is also a hint.

Grandma Kusakabe ends up passing away, leaving Kaimu alone. She ends up being dragged away to an orphanage, where she lives until she's eighteen. The boy finds out when he noticed she hadn't come to the bus stop for a while and finds the house deserted. He takes the skull, which is one of the only things left behind, to what appears to be a workshop. There's a montage of the boy growing old, making the skull into a face mask, dying his hair, getting tattoos, etc. It's Vulcan. It was always Vulcan.

The story actually starts with Kaimu being kicked out of the orphanage. She decides to go on a hunt for this famous Devil's foot that she's heard about for thr past ten years because her grandma always talked about how terrible he was. She was furious when she learned she was being put into an orphanage while she still had a living relative (she just did not understand he was only a year younger than her).

When she arrives at Company 8, she's actually kinda rude, but Ōbi admires her spunk and finds it "cute" because she looks as innocent as Iris with her small frame, but is rlly fucking vicious. She's trying really hard to explain she's related to Shirna (look!! Red eyes!!! Pointy teeth!!! We look alike!!!) And it's going very poorly.

While Viktor conducts a dna test, Kaimu tries to find literally any reason to stick around, and she decides, for the first time since she developed her ability, to use it in front of others.

Kaimu is only a second generation pyrokinetic. She has the ability to take a flame in her hand and mix it with any type of metal and smelt it to whatever she needs. It's not a very offensive technique so she's mostly used it for defense in the past, or making cool trinkets. Vulcan is actually the one who persuades Ōbi to let her stick around, bc he has an odd sense of familiarity with her and can't place why.

I haven't really thought of a story for her yet other than backstory, but I've experimented with having her get bitten by a bug and being turned infernal, only to get shot by Hinawa and... Turns back. Low and behold the first first generation with the ability to go infernal at will-

3) Bungou Stray Dogs: ???

Yeah I haven't actually thought of an oc for this one? But I have had ideas in the past of a girl who has the ability to make people fall asleep and stay asleep as long as she wants. The only downfall is for every hour they don't sleep, that's an hour she doesn't sleep. I'm not sure if I want her to be a former Mafia member or part of the association, but I know I want her to be tied in with Dazai some how because of his absolute cancel ability. Just him tapping her shoulder and her being able to instantly fall asleep sounds cute to me idk

Have fun reading this shit show

Director’s Cut 1: Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody

“I find it difficult to find any redeeming qualities in this character. He is a person with spot on DSM antisocial personality disorder, with sociopathic traits and without the charming facade. But the mental health professional in me also sees him as neurodiverse, on the spectrum. At any rate, I can’t find any allure or menacing sexuality in him. How did you find redeeming qualities within Pope? And how the heck did you come up with a female OC who can interpret his cues and find warmth and attraction from him? I enjoy your fics about him, others I’ve read have basically torture porn.”

Wow, okay, Andrew. You’ve picked a really interesting one here. So, lets start with some background... Which I will try to condense as much as possible.

Also, for ease of talking, I’m going to give our Reader back her OC name and therefore when I refer to ‘Elaiyna’ that’s your reader character! 😁 Background I was never meant to write for Andrew Cody from the movie. My first watch of the movie left me cold and, to be honest I still find it very difficult to watch even now. (The movie is great for sure, but it’s not one I rewatch often.) Without a long explanation as to ‘why’, I watched the movie so that I could watch the US TV show version of Animal Kingdom. Which I highly recommend!

Where as Movie!Andrew I couldn’t get into at all, Show!Andrew I fell in love with. It took me one episode to come up with my OC and a decent story line.  Although I never actually wrote it out I had many plot points saved on a document for how Andrew/Elaiyna’s relationship would play out. So really, you have Shawn Hatosy to thank-! 

Who, super side note, deserves an Emmy for this. And also can someone please get him and Ben in an interview to talk about Andrew - I will beg! 

When I decided to start writing and posting for Andrew here (considering I had the plot points and we were taking the Mendos as far as we could) - I essentially wrote a mix of Show!Andrew and Movie!Andrew. Honestly tipped in favour of the show. But very recently I’ve tried to write much more for Movie!Andrew as I’m 99.9% sure that’s who everyone reading my work is reading for anyway!

How did you find redeeming qualities within Pope? 

The only real answer is Show!Andrew. I love him so much, and they explore a lot with his character - as they of course have time to, that a 1hr30 movie doesn’t - so it’s very easy to find redeeming qualities in a character that’s at a very different stage to his movie counterpart (and yet is still the same character and recognisable as the same character... Show!Andrew is the build up to the man we get in the movie, if you will.). Show!Andrew has that same... creepy/awkward vibe, but also has a lot of sweet, decent human being moments that give you his more redeeming qualities (without spoiling anything major his relationship with Lena, Baz’s daughter, is a good example). 

But also I view Andrew in the movie very differently to the way that I believe most people do. Movie Andrew doesn’t scare me. Sure, he does scary things, but to me he just comes across as very awkward. Like, he knows what a situation calls for and kinda adapts to that - or he says things because he’s like “That’s what people say in this situation right?” at least that’s how I interpret him. No matter how incorrect that is.  Like there’s no social queues in his character, he doesn’t really fit into those kinds of situations (or function well!) but he observes everything. So he knows that “If X happens, say/do Y. Because that’s what people do.” regardless of his own “feelings” etc. I don’t think he has emotional intelligence and there’s a definite disconnect between think and feel and... I guess instinct? That ‘primal brain’ thing. 

I mean I know it’s interpretation but that scene where he carries Nicky to bed and then like strokes her hair back and then tells Jay “She’s beautiful.” Doesn’t give me any other vibe other than Andrew having observed this and his brain going ‘Oh, yeah, Andrew - then compliment her to her boyfriend. That’s a thing people do.’ Just the way my brain works I guess.

The obvious follow up question would be “Okay, so you love him in the show. But you write for him in the movie. So... you gotta have something redeeming there right? Now you’re leaving Show!Andrew on a shelf? Correct - I kinda feel like Andrew has at least some ‘relationships’ to which he actually feels something. Which is why I’m reluctant to place the “Psychopath” tag on him. Look at his relationship with Baz for instance (honestly, that supermarket scene is my very favourite.) - I just get this “friends” vibe. Like real friends, maybe even best friends. Andrew cares enough about him to want vengeance (I’m not down for thinking this is just him wanting to be a criminal I genuinely think this is a reaction to losing his best friend - and arguably his stability.) And I mean, he cares about his family. Even if not in the traditional ‘sense’ of caring. 

I also want to give a quick shout out to @mandy23b​​ - as Andrew is her favourite, and conversations with her on how she views him really help me shape Andrew in my head. For example she has a lot of headcanons about how he grew up (eg: potential physical abuse) that I am happy to adopt. So, my own personal headcanons / adopted head canons about him also help to make him redeemable. 

And how the heck did you come up with a female OC who can interpret his cues and find warmth and attraction from him? 

Oh my gosh, Elaiyna. Okay, well aside from again her starting with Show!Andrew and me basically lifting their entire relationship and giving it to Movie!Andrew there’s a lot about her that I guess ‘prepares’ her for him.

First - they meet because the Cody’s case her car (...Ready For It?), assume she has a lot of money and try to rob her. She knows who he is before they form a relationship - the barrier of “oh by the way I’m a career criminal” is broken instantly.  Second - Although she’s an only child her parents have fostered a lot of children over the years (More details in ‘Flaws’) and so she’s used to a lot of siblings and the bonds between siblings. Added to this it’s not hard to imagine that some of these foster children might have had neurodivergancies of their own and therefore she’s also used to people that act like Andrew does. Third - David ( ‘Flaws’ and ‘Last Habit’) her eldest foster sibling is a Police officer, and they have a close relationship. Figure she could learn a lot from him. Both on crime/criminals and then maybe neurodivergant criminals too. He’s bound to have at least some stories that might help her. Fourth - Not to make some kind of robot comparison for our Boi here but, she works in IT. She’s the CIO for her firm. Draw your own conclusions on relationships with something/one with basically zero emotional output.

I find your comments on other fics you’ve read very interesting. Because to me Andrew just isn’t sexual. (I might be in the minority, because other fic writers I’ve talked to tend to put him in ‘physical only’ / highly sexually charged relationships) He’s never read that way to me. ‘4 In the Morning’ is the first time I’ve thought to write something that is sexy for him. Although I have alluded to sexual elements of their relationship in other fics.  Their relationship to me has always been on a quiet understanding level. He observes and learns about her and is fairly quiet about it. Elaiyna is more extroverted, but also observes and learns about him very quickly. So instead of PDA and verbal “I love you’s” they have this non-verbal communication that isn’t always physical either. Although touch sometimes plays into it.  Because that just the kind of relationship that I see him in - sex is rare, and when it happens it’s not because of this big “I love you” romantic build up - it’s spontaneous. That part of his primal brain is kicked in and it’s like “Okay. We’re doing this now.” For his character I understand the “draw” to write something like that (even though, like I say, I don’t see him being interested.) but I’m just very much a romantic... 😅 So I want to write something Romantic even for a Mendo who you wouldn’t necessarily fit into a romantic role. Their story still has “romantic” tenancies. Like it’s a loving relationship it’s just a different kind of love. I don’t feel like he would necessarily know that he loves her, or even comprehend what ‘love’ is. But he knows he feels something for her that’s very different to how he feels about other people. Which is why when Elaiyna does say ‘I love you’ it’s not reciprocated with words - and rarely with actions. She knows he loves her, even if he doesn’t know it. Their relationship is very ‘quiet’ but she knows that’s just how he is - and he will show “affection” as he deems fit and appropriate to show it. Even if - again - it’s not a “typical” way of showing it. And when he wants affection himself it’s more, “I am hugging you now on MY terms. But in 5 seconds I will walk away as if nothing happened.” He is more often enough the one to initiate anything PDA and Elaiyna will wait for him to come to her. If her read on him is *just* right then she’ll initiate, but then there’s the consequences of getting it wrong and Andrew pushing her away... I definitely base a lot of the beginning of their relationship on them just finding each other fascinating. He’s completely different to any other man she’s ever met, and he’s never met someone so interested in him that doesn’t try to change him and/or however he treats her is met more with understanding than conflict. 

I say I love all my OCs, of course I do. But Elaiyna is one I really had to think about building because of Andrew’s own personality. It had to make sense for her to be with someone like him - their relationship had to make sense and keep him (mostly) in character. So she needed to be able to interpret his cues, as you so nicely put it 😊 But I think I gave her the right tools to do this, and, with Show!Andrew she got the right base to jump from. 

I know this is super long, but I hope it helps in your understanding of how I’ve built Andrew’s relationship with his S/O! 🙏 And more importantly answers the questions you have! 

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Thank you SO much for asking! If anyone else wants a Fanfic directors cut for any of my fics please ask! I would love to answer any questions! 🥰😘

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.