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#WHY YOU MUST BE JOKING
qqueenofhades · 1 year
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The thing about searching for flights on British Airways is that they do legitimately offer "Baron/Baroness" or "Viscount/Viscountess" as title options for your personal information.
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turtleblogatlast · 1 month
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König
I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!
When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.
Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.
Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.
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Do you think it’s cruel that bears are literal killing apex predator machines but look so cute and fluffy.
the greatest tragedy and cruelty of the universe that this beast can look so snuggleable adorable sweet
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and yet also be the most lethal beast you will ever encounter
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while still looking adorable and snuggleable covered in blood
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uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.
When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.
#abuse#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#child abuse#child abuse tw#mental health#it really goes to show (to me) that people either can't or don't WANT to acknowledge that parents can be the ones to have fucked up#if all the blame is placed on their child/ren then you can maintain the illusion that the parent is always right...#...that parents know what is best and they will always do what is best for their child/ren#it's just weird to be somebody with parental issues and all that gets steamrolled into 'mommy issues' that then become a Big Joke...#...especially because i'm a man (and because people are misogynists who think it's just so funny that women are people)...#...i find that my own issues are expected to be treated as a joke or a punchline or something i must whisper in the dark...#...so that others may have the luxury of pretending to not hear it or to have the luxury of forgetting in the morning...#...and it just sucks because that leaves me to remember and grieve and doing that with the knowledge that my abuse Is A Joke at My Expense#if you wonder why so many abuse victims/survivors become unsavoury: this is why#i'm too bitter about this topic specifically to care about the comfort of people who don't get it and don't WANT TO...#...because it is THEY who are uncomfortable with the very NOTION that abuse happens#if you can't acknowledge that abuse happens WITHOUT downplaying to for your sense of comfort you will NEVER help abuse victims/survivors#you will find that you start prioritizing YOUR sense of comfort over the safety and continued survival of victims/survivors
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one-pissed-off-child · 3 months
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Going through the Nevermore comment section is so funny bc every time Annabelle does something south of the moral compass, there's no shortage of shock and outrage despite her VERY clearly stating that everyone besides Lenore was just cannon fodder to her
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amegeddon · 3 months
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I made a valentines card for my bestie who is extremely in love with Vergil today, using a screenshot I took while playing DMC5 last night.
This is my magnum opus, now.
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nyxi-pixie · 1 year
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vecna hiding in wills head deciding to pause before saying 'thats my friend. mike' to add drama to the dramatic romance show hes somehow got a front seat ticket to:
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essektheylyss · 23 days
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it is once again game hangover hours. what the fuck do you mean I have to send emails I've got a heist to run
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xbraveheartx · 8 months
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“At least the wooden puppet’s father was kind.”
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iateyourburrito · 5 months
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Hello spider Noir community. This is the first actual anything I've been able to draw in weeks. I crave death.
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qulizalfos · 8 months
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"mike is Just a useless bumbling idiot"
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tswwwit · 1 year
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Me last night: Alright! Tonight I'm going to be PRODUCTIVE
Also me: Writes 1.4k words on a totally new WIP instead of any of my ongoing projects
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stuff-terfs-say · 1 month
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I don't like genital preference discourse because 99 percent of the time it's a cis person who made up a hypothetical pro trans argument and got mad at it.
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dennisboobs · 5 months
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people will just say anything
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the-final-sif · 1 year
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Just to be clear, my feeling on Farfadox is that he deprived us of 3 dream streams by killing Dream, therefore the debt must be paid before he is free of sin. I will count today as One.
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