#ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME GAME??????? ARE YOU JOKING???????? WHY MUST YOU HURT ME?????!!!?!??
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“At least the wooden puppet’s father was kind.”
#Lies of P#Lies of P spoilers#ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME GAME??????? ARE YOU JOKING???????? WHY MUST YOU HURT ME?????!!!?!??#I AM SCREAMING AND LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD JUST BURY ME IN THE GROUND FUCK!!!!!!!!!!#I AM ADOPTING THIS BOY AND GIVING HIM ALL THE LOVE AND ATTENTION HE DESERVES!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
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𝘐'𝘓𝘓 𝘞𝘈𝘐𝘛 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝘈𝘕𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ angst, death, cursing, no happy ending, reader is female (shes for the girls 😼💪)!! Tommy is sort of replaced by reader in some scenarios. Did no proof read this again (im lazy)!!
ᯓ★
From as long as you knew, the two of you were inseparable, having knowing each other for almost 6 years. When Marlene needed some smugglers to smuggle Ellie out of the city, you happened to be one of the three and that's how you guys first met. However, on the journey of finding the Fireflies, it seemed to be full of surprises.
Just when you thought it was the end, more just show up to throw you off guard.
Going from Ellie's lame dad jokes to having to look after her when Joel was in no condition to do anything. You barely had the chance to catch your breath. In a way you were like the older sister since you were one year bigger than her. That's why when it was revealed the doctors needed to kill her to create a vaccine, you were game with the idea of massacring the whole hospital.
After escaping from the Fireflies, in a way, it's like you guys were able to build a new life at Jacksons.
As you two grew older, you found yourself developing feelings for her. You hated yourself for letting it happen but at the same you couldn't stop the crush from growing.
The more time you spent with her, the more you start to notice the little details about her.
How she bites her lips when she's shy.
How she'll look away when she receives a compliment.
How she would share her collection of cards with just you.
... and the way her eyes seem to always sparkle when she spots you amongst the crowd.
All these things just made you fall for her harder. But even in this new lifestyle, it still seemed to come with a box of surprises.
You were in your own house, inside the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee for yourself. It was almost the evening but you couldn't deny your needs. Before you could even take a sip, your front door was slammed open and you turned to see who it was. Your cup still in hand.
To your surprise, you came face to face with an angry expresson on Ellie. However there was more to it, she looked upset, betrayed. That was when you heard a voice telling you inside your head that she must have found out about the truth you and Joel agreed to keep from her.
"You fucking knew" She said. A blank expression remained on your face as you took a sip of your coffee, still trying to maintain your image at this time.
"I don't know what you're talking about" You gently place your coffee on the kitchen counter. Your words having her scoff out of disbelief.
"Don't play dumb with me! I'm not a fucking kid anymore!" She took a few steps closer.
You let out a sigh as your eyes trailed off to the window, looking at the outside. Your lack of response just pissing her off even more. Suddenly, she rushed forward and grabbed you by the shirt. Her actions getting your attention instantly.
"Look at me!" She shouted.
"Look at me and tell me!"
"Tell you what? That I killed all those people for you? That I saved you from those doctors? Is that what you want to hear?!" You raised your voice.
It was the first time she ever see you this angry and this was the first time you see her direct her anger at you. She glares at you before letting go of you, shoving you slightly against the kitchen counter which made several of the kitchenware dangle on the rack.
"How could you...?" She said, her expression now full of hurt.
"It doesn't matter anymore. It already happened. Ellie, this is your life now..." You took a step forward but she ended up taking a step back.
"My life could have meant something"
"Your life would have ended that day! Fuck... listen... Ellie... there was no way that vaccine was gonna work anyways. They were just basing it off a bunch theories. You have to understand" You said but it didn't change her mind even in the slightest. Within seconds, the hatred returned back on her face as she looks at you.
"I never wanna see you again" She said and before you could say anything else, she stormed out the house and left you all alone to your thoughts.
You sigh as you ruffle through your hair out of frustration. How could this happen? How did she find out? Did Joel tell her? Fuck... you rest both your hands on the counter top. Your cup of coffee already growing cold.
Just when you thought your life was hell, a bunch of people from somewhere had ambushed you and Joel when you guys were out on patrol.
The blonde girl you had thought was just another survivor being the one smashing his head open with a golf club and you couldn't do anything as you were knocked out. It was Ellie's cries that had awoken you moments later.
Your eyes fluttered open to be met with the sight of Ellie holding Joel close to her chest, tears streaming down her face while her clothes were dirtied with his blood. She was clinging to him like she was hoping being closer to him would bring him back. But it never happened. During his funeral, you couldn't even show up. The guilt was killing you.
You could have stopped it...
Why didn't you stop it?
Restless nights drove you insane. Apart from the checkups from Tommy, you felt like you were truly alone. You hadn't think this feeling would come to haunt you again after moving to Jacksons. Which led to your rational decision to set out on your way of finding the blonde girl behind this. Nothing but a note left on the kitchen table just for anyone who happens to look for you.
It was hard, you didn't only have the infected to deal with but also a cult. You survived and work your way closer to the location marked on your map.
But in the end, all of it didn't matter because when you finally came close to getting your revenge, you blew it, the girl's physique was larger compared to yours so she easily won over the duel and knocked you into the ocean. It was a miracle you made it to shore.
You felt numb.
Your ears ringing.
In a way you felt that you had failed Ellie.
Because you knew you were never gonna be the girl she looks up to anymore.
You will forever be known as the girl that broke her trust.
The girl she hates.
God sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you try it was never enough...
With your back on the sand, you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It was silly but you always thought that maybe you'd have a chance with her. What a world would that be?
"(Y/N)?"
You look over your head to see Jesse standing there, your perspective upside down as he rushes over to you. Once he was sure you were okay, he started to fill you in with the things that happened after you left.
As it turns out Ellie had also set out for the same exact goal.
After you were gone, she was confronted by Tommy in hopes she knew where you were headed. To his surprise, she had no clue since the last time you guys spoke was the argument in your house.
Despite the fact that part of her journey was for seeking revenge, she was also worried for you. She had to admit. She was scared. After losing Joel, she didn't want to lose you too. However in the end when she had to choose between finding the girl behind the death of Joel and finding you, she had picked the first one.
Luckily, Jesse was able to take you to where Ellie was at. When you rushed in the aquarium, you found her hunched over and vomiting. Close-by there were two dead bodies, one of them being a pregnant woman. Almost like it was an instinct, you quickly moved to where Ellie was. A hand placed on her back and the other her shoulder.
"Hey... Ellie... its me..." You said, your tone gentle. The sight of you somehow made her relax a bit.
"I...I just... oh god... I didn't mean to..." Her eyes constantly glancing over at the body of the pregnant woman as she stutters but you quickly grab her by the side of her face before she could again.
"It doesn't matter... we have to go..." You told her but she was still hyperventilating. With your arm around her, you ended up dragging her away from the place.
Eventually on the way to the theater they were using as hideout, you guys decided to rest for a while and set up a small camp inside an abandoned book store. Jesse took notice that you two needed time alone and volunteered to keep watch somewhere else. There was tension in the air but you tried to ignore it by making sure the fire didn't die.
"You shouldn't have left without me" Ellie blurted out and you chose to put aside the twig to focus on the conversation.
"You said you didn't want to see me again... so I didn't" You said. The sounds of the fire crackling filling up the quiet night.
You were curious at her silence.
Is she thinking right now?
Did you just piss her off even more?
"You're right" She got up and suddenly began walking over to the other side of the room. You didn't say anything but just watch her rest at the corner before looking back at the fire.
Great job, you fucked up again.
The next morning, you guys continued on your way to the theater while also looking for some supplies inside the buildings nearby. You ended up checking on a small convenience store by yourself while Ellie and Jesse tried to get in the huge supermarket. You walked down the aisle and was able to find several snacks still edible. Then you saw a door.
Staffs Only.
That room has to be crawling with supplies. You twist open the doorknob and began exploring inside, checking every lockers to find it rich with medicines and bandages. It's a miracle this place wasn't looted by that cult.
After your bag was filled to the brim, you started to head out but the second you take a step forward, something grabbed you by the foot which made you fall on your face.
You grunt when you felt a sharp pain on your ankle. You looked down and to your horror you found it was an infected grabbing onto you, the bottom half of its body was missing but that didn't matter right now because its grip was already digging deep into your flesh. Quickly, you took out your gun and shot it multiple times in the head until it goes limp.
"Shit..." You sigh as you rest your head on the ground to process the adrenaline, your feet kicking the infected corpse off you.
Sooner or later, you made it to the hideout with the two. You found yourself settled inside a room to rest. Your bag placed against the sofa while you ran your hands across the face. You felt tired. Suddenly when you tried to lift your feet up to lay down, you felt a sharp pain, rolling up your pants you found a bite mark just inches above the bruises.
For a moment, you thought that your heart had stopped beating. Oh shit shit shit shit this can't be real. You can't be infected. Fuck... Your panic was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. You looked up in a panic.
"Hey um... you got a minute?" She asked. It was Ellie.
You were scared and you sure as hell didn't want her to come in so you remained quiet because inside your head, it felt like there was a red alarm sounding off. You've been infected. You could turn in a few hours from now.
"I'm sorry for the other night" She said which had you look at the door, imagining it's her you're looking at.
"I just figured it'd be easier to hate you than to forgive you"
"But after what happened to Joel... I can't let that happen to us too..." You could hear her sigh on the other side.
"It'll take some time for me to forgive you for what you did but... I'm willing to try... we can start over" She said.
Damn it... this moment could have been perfect... this was everything you had hoped for but at the same time, you knew you weren't going to make it out of this room alive. No matter what you do or say, it won't matter.
"I understand if you're still mad at me. I just hope that you'll also try" You quickly looked away while trying to wipe the tears from your face.
"Maybe after this we can try living together? I mean... your house is pretty big so I thought it can be kind of lonely sometimes. We can keep each other company... start a farm maybe..." She said and you could sense she was smiling a bit from her tone.
You felt your chest hurt. Is the infection spreading already? You can feel your teeth loosening like they'll fall off. Your silence had Ellie take the hint you wanted to be alone which had her smile faltered a bit.
"Look... You're still my best friend and I still care about you so I'm sorry for always making you feel like shit. You know I love you right?" She said and you closed your eyes in hopes of stopping the tears from pouring out.
"I love you too" You mouthed the words but you couldn't bring yourself to say it because even if you did, she'll never be able to understand how you truly felt about her.
"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid again. I can't afford to lose you..."
You clear your throat, feeling it go painfully sore. How could you keep a promise like that? Just then you could hear her walk away with the sound of her footsteps growing faint.
The second you were sure you were now left alone, you hurried to your feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You panicked. Why does this have to happen?
Why did it have to be you?
You pull on your hair out of frustration but then you felt several strands of it easily ripped out just from your grip. Your eyes widened as you felt like your heart was beating from your ears.
You were worried about what Ellie would think.
She just lost Joel... now she's gonna lose you...
Fuck fuck fuck...
You sobbed almost pathetically to yourself. Not because you knew your life was over but you knew what you had to do.
It's the only thing you can do right now.
You went over to your bag and took out your gun. Maybe... shooting yourself instead of letting yourself turn could be less painful. You'd do everyone a favour.
You took a deep breath as you slowly start to point it at your head. Fuck you were actually gonna do it now.
Tears welling up in your eyes once again as snot filled your nose. You had so many regrets... so many things you never got to try.
Maybe in another life, an outbreak never happened. Maybe you and Ellie would still meet in that world. You guys could have gone to college together, maybe have coffee dates or staying up late together to have deep conversations like you two always did. You closed your eyes and let out a long shaky breath.
Maybe you guys could have been in love.
BANG
Your body falls on the ground like a sack of rice. All of your senses drowned out by the heavy smell of blood. As your body slowly started to die, you could hear the sound of the door being slammed open. A figure running over to your side to pick you up.
"Oh shit... nononono... wake up! You fucking idiot! Why'd you do that?!" Ellie cried as she hold you in her embrace.
"Fuck! Jesse! Get the med kit!" Ellie shouted but the light in your eyes were slowly dimming.
"No don't you fucking leave me! Not you too! (Y/N)!"
Her voice was now gone. It was quiet and hauntingly in a way it felt comforting. Almost like all of your problems were washed away.
There was no more surprises you had to worry about.
You could rest now.
#WOMP WOMP#sad violin noises#x reader#tlou2#the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x y/n#angst#the last of us 2#the last of us angst#ellie williams x reader angst
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[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!
synopsis: title says it all!
warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there
type: fluff
members: everyone
wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K
not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((
reblogs and likes are very appreciated!
OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period
The sweetest man
He would literally be the best dad, fr
LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)
He would do all the tasks for you
And compliment you!
Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water
« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »
he would be soooo supportive 🥹
« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »
« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »
He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life
« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »
« our baby will be so pretty »
« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty »
OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???
He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)
like tell me if im wrong (im not)
(Others members under the cut!)
SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile
Listen…
This man would try to make the time less crampy
less painful too
Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.
He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)
So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things
he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you
But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it
This man would buy flowers.
I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »
Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there
Pregnancy jokes, even!
« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »
thank you seb for this joke 😐
He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤
He would search them on google and he would be so proud
"im gonna be the funny one in this family"
He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)
Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)
RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax
He would judge you so bad for ur cravings
But he would buy them for you
Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile
And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚
« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »
But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)
Also… he would literally take care of everything
A bit like Oliver would do :)
« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »
« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »
He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec
« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)
« Go relax, my love. I can do it »
« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »
Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive
He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person
JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness
Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages
Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked
« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »
This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness
He just want the best for you 😁
Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it
« Hey baby, is everything okay? »
Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol
he has this gut feeling, what can i say?
« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »
« Yeah, just like that »
If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back
« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»
« if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »
Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal
KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you
this man would be so cute.
I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true
We all know how kane give good massages
This man know what he’s doing!
He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever
« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »
Also, during the massage…
He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha
In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy
« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »
Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:
« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »
« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »
« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »
Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!
DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away
We all know how Darren is a great cook
So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)
« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »
Isn’t he so cute? 🥹
The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.
BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!
Also, he would kiss your cramps away
To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that
« Hey baby, are you okay? »
« Do you want me to help you? »
A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage
« You’re so cute baby »
And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!
also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!
« Are you feeling a bit better? »
« Come and rest next to me, alright? »
He’s such a sweetheart, woah
REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations
He would be the best dad ever, no joke
He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too
And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo
I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢
I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations
Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry
Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry
So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy
Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart
He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-
He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can
He would take care of you so so much too
He would be like Oliver haha
Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry
taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7
Olegie has my heart 🤭
100% recommand this man!
Bold can’t be tagged.
#ghostiiess#nsb#northstarboys#north star boys#headcanon#headcanons#nsbheadcanons#sebastian moy#oliver moy#ryan nguyen#justin phan#regie macalino#darrenliang#kane ratan#sebastian moy x reader#sebastian moy x female reader#sebastian moy x you#olivermoy#oliver moy x reader#oliver moy x female reader#azngami#ratan kane#darren liang x reader#darren liang x female reader#macalino regie#nsb x reader#nsb x female reader#north star boys x female reader#north star boys x reader#north star boy x reader
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Normally I wouldn't be on anon, but I'm a little embarrassed about sending in this specific ask since it's a wee bit personal.
I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your portrayal of Moon and Soap's relationship! When I was a little younger, I went through a period of time (about 5-6 years?) where the men I was nearby would play a "fun" game where they would every week or so torment me by coming up to me and admitting they had feelings for me, or ask me on a date.
They, of course, had no intention of actually going out with me, nor did they like me at all, it was merely an enjoyable game to play with the feelings of the weird autistic woman who struggles with social interactions at the best of times. If I went along with it then I was taunted for being so stupid to think someone far better than myself would ever lower themselves far enough to ask me out, and if I denied them? Then I was a stuck-up bitch who thought too highly of herself.
After enduring this for years I've learned that when a man flirts with me my immediate course of action should be to push them away as fast and aggressively as possible. Don't bother trying to find out if there are any actual genuine feelings there, just chase them away. Snap at them. Ignore them. Cut them with words and actions. Don't ever trust that they're being honest.
I think this is why I see so much of myself in Moon. If a handsome beefcake like Soap approached me and started calling me pretty? Yeah, I would definitely try to get rid of him as fast as possible. I mean, a charismatic, gorgeous man like that showing interest? Nah, there must be something suspicious going on.
I like that Moon hisses and spits like a feral cat whenever she sees Soap, regardless of the way she does like him, because that behavior just hits so close to home. And the way that Soap sees through that and just keeps being determined to get through to her? What a man.
I love all your other darlings, it's fun to pretend to be some confident, sociable person in the lovely worlds you've build, but Moon and Soap just feel like home.
I hope this isn't too cringe, I just wanted you to know that your works really touch people <3
It's not cringe at all!! You're saying something true and beautiful, and nothing genuine should be considered cringe.
Moon is one of my favorite characters to write because she's such a delicate balancing act. She's brash and confident in her work, but her self confidence is false at best. She's learned to push people away before they get close enough to hurt her, but she desperately wants people close. In my mind Moon likely went through a similar experience of people asking her out or flirting with her as a joke. I see her as a very weird and lonely kid (interpret that as you will) that had one or two close friends and didn't really bloom until she went to college. I see her settling in the cowboy's town as her chance to reinvent herself, so she becomes the person she wished she'd been during those rough times: someone tough and take no shit, always speaking her mind, not being afraid to say "no" or tell someone to fuck off.
And Soap sees through that because he's the same way! Soap just went the opposite direction: charming, funny, lots of smiles and confidence to hide that he's sort of fucked up inside. Soap's deeply serious, he needs validation from the people around him, he's desperate to do good in the world, he's reckless and bull headed, and stubborn as shit, but people don't like that so he becomes someone else. Of course he'd want to chase down the one person that would understand that, that can see through his cocksure layers to the intelligent asshole underneath. In his mind there's no one else he could ever love, that would love him the way Moon can, wholly.
That's not to say they don't have their problems, but I don't think they ever have a genuine argument. They might bicker but it's never genuine, and the times when they hurt each other it's always quick to resolve. Soap trusts that Moon is only trying to protect herself, that she doesn't want to hurt him, she's just scared. Truthfully I think he's a little scared too, scared that his charm doesn't work on her, that she sees him for who he is and still treats him the same way she does everyone, that he feels so strongly about her. I think he's scared of how eagerly he keeps coming back, because he knows once she lets him in he'll never be able to let her go. (and I think Moon knows that too, that once Soap has her she'll never want to leave, and what is she supposed to do if he doesn't want her anymore?)
#ghoul speaks#x oc#cod x oc#oc: moon#john soap mactavish x oc#john soap mactavish#long post#I'm so sorry that happened to you my love#an unfortunately common experience but a cruel one none the less#I love writing confident readers because I'm not terribly confident#honestly I relate to Moon and Witch more than anyone#these sorts of wounds leave lasting scars#but I hope you're in a place of healing now
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I haven’t seen this in a fic yet (pls send me links if you have!!) so I’m doing it myself:
How Jeremy+Cat+ Laila find out about the 80% deal (set after the news about Jean’s family has already been released) (pt 1)
The gang is in the kitchen:
Jeremy: Jean, I’m telling coach to bench you for just this one match! You’re sick (or minorly injured). Just take a break and you’ll be back next match!
Jean: No! I’m fine! There are scouts for Court coming to this game!
Jeremy: yes and you’re just getting over the flu (or a twisted ankle idk)! Just take a rest, the Court scouts will be back next year!
Jean: I’m good to play! I need to play! I need to sign to court!
Jeremy: And I’m sure you will be! Kevin was just signed, no one doubts you will be signed as well ! What difference does a year make?
Jean: what difference does a year— I need to prove myself or they’ll think I can’t and— I can play! I will play!
Jeremy: no— I already told the coaches you aren’t playing— they’re in support
Jean: YOU WHAT? *panicking* they’re gonna kill me they’re gonna kill me
Jeremy: *softening* oh Jean it’s ok. You’re with the trojans remember. You’re not at the nest. You’re safe. Riko is dead. Tetsuji is gone. Everyone respects your right to a break. You’re free of the Moriyamas now.
Jean: You insolent fool! I will never be free of the Moriyamas!
Jeremy: ok Jean, I know it may feel like that sometimes. But you are free with us now. There are no more Moriyamas that will hurt you.
Cat: *thinking* well there’s Ichirou
Jeremy: *glares at Cat*
Cat: what? As smart as you are Jere you still haven’t learned to take the things Jean says at face value. He just said “I will never be free of the Moriyamas”
Jeremy: yeah but that’s not— Ichirou is a business man, all he cares about is money and his new fiance!
Laila: yeah but what really is the Moriyama family business? I haven’t really thought about it before but Ichirou looks rich af so it’s gotta be smth good…Jean you must now what it is.
Jean: *doesn’t respond to non questions*
Jeremy: Come on, this isn’t related to why Jean is so freaked out he can’t play today!
Cat: judging by his silence rn it def is! So what is it Jean? What’s the Moriyama business? You must know!
Jean: *stressed* it’s not important
Laila: clearly it is, now you can tell us or I’m happy to start guessing!
Jean: don’t—
Laila: let’s see it’s prob smth shady if you won’t say. Let’s see, do they deal in exotic Animals? Is Ichirou secretly tiger king?
Jean: No?! Just stop!
Laila: Or is it some business offensive to french culture? Oh no Jean, is their business in wine? Do they sell prosecco and call it champagne?
Jean: it’s not—
Laila: Oh or it has smth to do with why you learned so many languages while you were there? They’re secretly in the spy industry training to be spies??
Jean: of course not! Now stop asking I won’t tell you.
Cat: oh jean 😭 way to get us all more intrigued.
Jeremy: yeah let’s return to the topic of—
Laila: *who’s been thinking for a sec* pfft I know *sarcastically* Ichirou is secretly a mob boss too who has been in kahoots with—
Jean: *flinches*
Laila: your dad and neil’s dad which means—
Laila: Wait what the fuck?!! I was joking—I know the Moriyama’s business is just some boring corporate shit! But you just—What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!! You only flinch when I land spot on I—
Jean: *lunges for a knife with one hand that Jeremy catches. Lunges for his throat with the other that Cat gets a hold of first*
Laila: holy shit. No way. What. You’re kidding— I can’t. I wAs jOkinG !! Do the foxes know? Kevin must know if you do—
Laila: *picks up Jeremy’s phone he left in the kitchen counter*
Laila: *calling kevin*
(Pt 2 call with kevin coming soon)
#the sunshine court#tsc#the foxhole court#aftg#jerejean#jean moreau#jeremy knox#laila dermott#the moriyama family business#i need a fic where they find out#they’re gonna go crazy#fnenrnejwiw#andreil#catalina alvarez#alvamott#catalaila#love my fav lesbians and they’re adopted french son
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Juno Juno Juno, my love, my light
I lost a nail, I fought with my boyfriend and my cat clawed my gaming chair so I had five bottles of soju now I’m terribly terribly hungover 😭
If you’re feeling up for it could I bother you for your skz helping with a hangover headcanons
chan: honestly idk why but my brain went INSTANTLY to u and the kids having a wild night of drinking and he’s got to look after u ALL the next day. he’s just giggling playfully like “they lured my girlfriend into sin…” but he lowkey loves that you guys get on so well!! definitely has painkillers and water waiting by your bedside and cooks breakfast <3
minho: makes fun of u. what a weakling, u have a hangover? r u joking? probs screams louder just to make ur head hurt but then kisses u when u dont find it funny. “sorry, that wasn’t funny.” runs and gets u soonie doongie and dori for some cuddles.
changbin: he, too, is hungover. if u’ve been drinking, so has he and i get the vibe bini can put back A LOT of alcohol. u die in bed all day and order takeaway, watching shitty movies and whining every now and then that ur dying. it’s the end of the world until u wake up after a nap and suddenly feel fine
hyunjin: seems like the type to walk off hangovers so when you feel so fucked up after drinking he’s like oh?? worm?? and he’s so dramatic about it. keeps saying “are you sure this is a hangover? i’ve never seen anything like this before!” and you’re like no hyune, it’s really fine. insists on taking u to a&e and u have to stop him
jisung: i am so sure he was hungover in that one skz code, passed out in his puffer jacket. so i think he would also be hungover too. u guys would wake up, makeup still on, clothes from last night n just look at eachother and groan simultaneously. minho would have to come over to cook u food and tend to u bc u’d be positively dying
felix: helps with ur hangxiety. ur like “no seriously, felix, i backflipped over the bar last night.” and he’s all “yeah but did i tell u abt that one time where i ___.” he has you laughing so hard about it by the end of it you’ve forgotten you’re hungover. he just plays everything off as the lil sunshine he is. he’s just a little schweetie
seungmin: oh he’s so father coded abt it. all “you did this to yourself. you must face the consequences.” and ur like yes but i am dying?? tend to me?? and he begrudgingly does it. brings u water and pretends he hates looking after you but so secretly loves it really.. but adds it to the list of things u owe him for
jeongin: oh he’s so unknowingly evil about it. while felix is comforting, jeongin would be like “LMAO DO U REMEMBER ___?!” and you’re like oh my god please let me die. he definitely finds it SO funny and takes pictures of u at ur worst and when u ask why he’s like ?? ur cute?? LIKE HE GENUINELY DOESNT GET IT!! HE DOESNT GET HOW EVIL HE IS
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※ Sub Bottom Eddie Munson/Dom Top Steve Harrington.
※ 1,224 words.
※ Personal work (not request).
※ Both characters are canonically 18 or older.
※ Content & warnings: Daddy kink. Mating press. Virgin Eddie. Unnegotiated kinks (but they’re very into it). Very short fic.
Something something Eddie finally catching up to everyone treating Steve like the ‘mom’ friend in the group. And he’s amused. But secretly immensely supportive of Steve on this one.
Like, how couldn’t he be? He knows it’s gotta be exhausting at some point.
Dustin’s amused, “Okay, mom.”
Or Mike’s irritated, “You’re not my mom.”
He’d be rolling his eyes and snarking all the time. He’s impressed by Steve’s patience nowadays. So he decides to poke at it just a little bit.
“Oh, Harrington,” he sing-songs, stomach swooping hotly at the annoyed look on Steve’s face; he knows he can joke around with Steve. They’ve gotten sort of close after everything they’ve gone through.
Only, Eddie has no idea if Steve’s lingering looks are just a figment of his imagination.
The counter at Family Video kind of needs a cleaning, but Steve’s leaning on it anyway. “…I thought you had to pick the kids up today? After all, you’re like the mom of the group.”
“Jesus, dude. Not you too,” comes Steve flippant response. “It’s Billy’s turn. I’m making this a brat-free day.”
“Sooo, what I’m hearing is… Steve Harrington doesn’t like to be treated like a fretful mommy?”
“Would you cut it off?”, answers Steve, though it’s not an entirely mean response.
“Okaaay.”
To Steve, it sounds like that would be it, but nothing good ever comes out of that playful little smile of Eddie’s, because he’s absolutely not ready for what he says next:
“Then does that mean we have to call you Daddy?”
Oh, ha-ha. It must be so funny to Eddie, seeing that he can’t stop snickering behind his hands after saying this.
It’s not that funny to Steve, who just stills, turns around, and starts walking straight into the employee bathroom. All with the deepest blush Eddie’s ever seen on anyone. Oh. Eddie fucked up, didn’t he.
Robin comes out of her break. Sees Eddie, alone at the counter, now covering his mouth. He’s not laughing anymore.
“Oh my God.” She looks in the direction of the bathroom, knowing Steve must be there. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing! Why do you think I said anything to him?”
She gives him the stink eye. Eddie just leaves.
Later in the evening, some time after a thorough play with himself with images of pretty boys and hairy chests and pink faces in his mind, Eddie receives an unexpected visitor in the form of Steve Harrington, on the steps of his trailer.
Neither of them are saying anything. Steve’s face is unreadable. It kind of makes Eddie want to bite his nails. But he lets him in, and closes the door behind him.
A tense silence takes over the place. That is, until…
“Can you— Can you say it again?”
The croak in Steve’s voice is somehow delicious to Eddie; it sounds like Steve’s throat is dry.
“Wh-What?” And he has to chuckle nervously. He feels the pull of his hand, wanting to take one lock of his hair to hide behind it.
“Today, you… you said something. Called me something. And…” Steve’s face is an enigma. He looks like he wants to flee at any second, but still keeps going. “I kind of haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
Oh, he’s got Eddie where he wants. He knows Eddie’s the queerest guy in town, but what he’s asking of him… Surely, this is just him taunting Eddie, is it not? A good old game of chicken between guys never hurt anyone.
But Eddie is weak.
Giving in to his impulse, knowing he’s probably sporting the darkest blush ever known to mankind, Eddie pulls on his own hair. Puts it in front of his face, covering everything but his eyes. And mutters:
“Daddy.”
The reaction is stronger this time. More visible, unconcealed. Something about the heavy breath Steve releases sounds, to Eddie, like a grunt, and he just has to avert his eyes.
“Louder.”
Now wide eyes return to Steve, pupils unable to stop widening from pleasure. Steve walks closer, and it’s Eddie’s instinct to take a step back in return, but he forces himself to stay where he is.
He gives in, like any weak man would.
“Daddy.”
It’s only slightly louder, and Steve comes even closer, until he’s in Eddie’s space. Takes Eddie’s hands in his, noticing the hitch in his breath as he’s forced to release his own hair.
Grabs his wrists. Puts them to his sides.
“Look at me when you say it.”
They’re sharing the same air. Eddie feels himself faint from it.
“Daddy.”
Steve closes what little space was left, making Eddie tremble and sag against him in his first kiss. Pushes Eddie back until his back collides with the wall next to his bedroom’s door, all the while giving Eddie a new succession of firsts: first kiss with tongue, first heavy petting, first dry humping. All until Eddie has to withdraw with the most erotic gasp Steve’s ever heard.
“You’re fucking unbelievable, you know?” Steve’s voice already has Eddie weak in the knees. A hand finds Eddie’s long hair and pulls, and Eddie’s so sure he’s already close. “A fucking brat.”
Eddie moans, pulls himself together long enough to say: “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
The big imprint of a cock against his pelvis tells him he’s not the only one affected. “Yeah, I bet you are. Teasing me in public like that. Bet you were looking for a spanking.”
There’s an obscene moan now, so loud Eddie has to hide in Steve’s neck from the embarrassment of being so needy. “Fuck me, Daddy.”
And a groan next to his ear carries a lot of promises.
Eddie loses his virginity to a man he calls Daddy in his trailer bedroom, music blasting as an afterthought to conceal the loud moaning he knows he won’t be able to quiet. Steve makes him cum an impossible three times in a row. Puts a twist on missionary that leaves Eddie’s insides so thoroughly fucked out he cums a first time, just from that. Makes Eddie ride him, aiding his trembling thighs by pushing up into Eddie, and as if that isn’t enough, spanks Eddie like he said he would, receiving a chestful of shaking, orgasming boy who somehow says he still can’t get enough, so he turns him around, puts him on all fours and presses his face into the pillow. Puts an arm around his windpipe. Envelops him so wholly it almost feels suffocating, pounds into him so hard Eddie would be screaming by this point if it weren’t for the small pressure against his throat, feet kicking to the sides of Steve’s legs on the bed. Makes Eddie cum a third and final and convulsing time as he too does.
“What the hell, Steve.” Robin points at something Steve can’t see on his neck. “Did you get mauled by an animal?”
Both Steve and Eddie blush in the gentle lighting of the Family Video store.
“Wait…” She looks between them two. “You.” She points at Eddie. “What did you say to him yesterday? And how did it lead to that?” And then, as if that wasn’t the most important thing to her, as if Eddie and Steve weren’t on the brink of passing out from embarrassment, Robin says: “Ugh. Great. I owe Billy five bucks.”
Work available only on Tumblr and under ArchiveOfOurOwn pseud of the same name (DecadentWorld). Do not repost, edit, or redistribute. Do not use for TikTok or YouTube videos.
#steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#bottom eddie munson#top steve harrington#sub eddie munson#A very quick and short one.#Edit: My bad. It doesn’t have dacryphilia. I forgot to add it😭
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I know that what I say will probably make little difference but for what it's worth:
You're one of the most level headed people I've seen around these parts, a trait that is rarer in fandoms than water in the desert
You always try to explain your points as best you can. Are there snide remarks here and there? Even mean ones? Maybe. But nothing too serious and honestly everybody makes them when talking about stuff that ticks you off. You've certainly never gone off to harass anyone as far as I can tell
You shouldn't feel bad about your fandom feelings because you really haven't done anything wrong
Thank you. I mean that sincerely. I know I could probably stand to be nicer, but at the same time I feel like life has beaten all the fluffiness out of me and I'm just. Done.
Incredibly sick of fandom continuing to push these one-sided narratives despite every effort to explain and clarify. We're always brushing up against this double standard and it just becomes sickening after a while.
Again: I am not perfect, and I do admit I say negative and mean things pretty regularly. But in that, I also strive to be level. At the bare minimum, not to stoop to the level of shit they fling at me.
I feel like I'm already trying to uphold my end by drawing a boundary where I do not engage, since IDW staff have crossed that line in the past, and frankly, I don't trust them, much less IDW stans, not to cross that line for me. You wanted zero engagement from me and you got it. What else do you want from me?
Now you're trying to tell me what not to say? On my own blog? Do I come onto your blog and say you can't shittalk Pontaff games? Do I imply you must be mentally ill for being frustrated at all the finger-wagging?
So someone criticizes a book on their own blog, so what? Who cares? Does it impact IDW's sales? Why are you so emotionally invested in it to the point where you have to whisper to your friends about the freaks you'd never be caught dead conversing with?
You'd think actions speak louder than words and my no-engagement rule should prove I'm not going around hurting people and twirling my mustache over it. But no, the fact that I chose to forgive someone who made a joke that I did not condone - I even unfollowed Random for a while due to it; he can attest to the conversation we had - means more than the fact that I do not ever talk to IDW staff (how can I harass people I don't talk to?) and thus this makes me a horrible person.
The irony of saying all this when fandom insists Sonic is oh-so-merciful towards his enemies despite their crimes is absolutely not lost on me.
No one honestly speaks up on our behalf, and it's enough to make me wonder if we're really that rancid or if perhaps something else is rotten in the state of Denmark. The people who do agree with our points stay silent or otherwise risk intense ostracization.
No one (and I don't blame them, they'd get crucified) ever says to the other side, "It's fucked-up of you to keep wagging the finger at people who are already harangued by trolls, and your silence means you're just as culpable, especially if you're going to hypocritically lump them in with extremists."
Once again, I don't expect to be treated with kid gloves. But the fact that they can't be honest about what we say bugs me immensely.
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Uhhh pinned time ig? I see it a lot so why not
Yo! Call me IrusanW4, mutuals can call me Iru but please don't if we're not mutuals. I use strictly they/them, and I'm asexual and aromantic. I'm autistic and I love things A Lot when I love them, so... fair warning? Read more has details on me n stuff. Don't wanna clog dashboards or anything :3
I don't have a specific DNI but like. Don't hurt people. Don't have a joke for that just don't hurt people. But! DO interact if you are strange, peculiar, freakish, cringe, or otherwise throw social norms to the wind!
I'm always open to civil good-faith discussions about what I've done wrong!
Things I care about too much for my own good: Death Note, My Hero Academia, Chonny Jash, Dungeon Meshi, Pokemon, Digimon, Slay the Princess, the Stanley Parable, Warriors, Wings of Fire, Risk of Rain, Slay the Spire, Portal, psychology, animals, linguistics, space, my place in the universe, death as something to be studied, and much much more.
While I won't do much acknowledging sex (as in the act) myself due to personal discomfort surrounding the topic, I do support the right of people to have sex and have fun so long as all members consent to it!
Also, I do art and writing! I'm IrusanW4 on ao3 too, so feel free to be nosy! I don't share much art outside of Discord, sadly, but yknow! I'm always open to questions about my writing and art, be it original or fan content!
Social justice:
Abortion needs to be accessible to everyone with a uterus. The death sentence shouldn't exist in any way shape or form. A criminal justice system focused on punishment rather than reform should not exist. Capitalism is by existence a system of oppression and must be replaced. The American education system is thoroughly fucked. The genocide of anyone is inexcusable, no matter their origin, and those who fund the slaughter and/or exploitation of Palestinian, Congolese, or any other people are further beyond immoral than I have words for. All cops are bastards.
Miscellaneous:
Vehement supporter of found family. Indie game lover. Indie music lover. Example of gifted kid to burnout who's somehow still gifted just deeply exhausted pipeline. Cat owner. Lover of music. Noodle enjoyer. Asker of questions. Furry. Therian. Mediocre Pokemon player. Registered member of the Satanic Temple. Believer in improvement as a person as a necessary part of life. Friend hoarder. More always to come.
I'm a bad tagger but here's notable tags:
#blorbo street, where I put all my favorite characters together to interact.
#scrunchy friend <3, most of my @therewillbenoromance interactions bc he's scrunchy to me.
#ouroboros universe, a collection of my writing that's all technically within one continuity. I might add more tags specifying which instance, but so far, it's all lumped together.
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thoughts on The Last Of Us episode nine - the finale - largely in the order I had them:
[thoughts on: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | X ]
— "actively about to give birth and running from zombies" is a fucking horrible situation to be in what the fuck
— the fucking RUNNING UP THE STAIRS NOISES I DON'T LIKE THIS
— we had a whole episode without infected where ellie was the only infected, why did they have to do this to me
— honestly kudos to the supreme fucking terror of "the thing you can't see, only hear, that the characters are fucking terrified of," I forgot how effective that can be
— and here's the countdown. she's infected and she needs to get her kid somewhere safe.
…feeding that baby is gonna be difficult in this setting.
— "yeah, you tell 'em." <3 <3
— "you fuckin' tell 'em, ellie." !!!!!!!
— I MEAN YEAH THAT'S ELLIE ALRIGHT! yeah that sounds like a person who'd be ellie's mother alright!!
— this must be why ellie's immune. either some cordyceps went through the umbilical cord before it was cut (I notice it was cut with the knife that was used on the infected, too) or if she breastfeeds, through the milk maybe? would it be different if it's in milk?
— they found a very tiny angry baby for this and it's perfect
— whatever difficulties I experience in my life I'll never run for my life, fight for my life, give birth, realise I'm doomed, save my baby then realise I need to find a way to keep her safe all within ten minutes. she must be experiencing emotions only known to shrimp right now.
— (…is it stem cells in umbilical cords that are a little bit magic, biologically speaking? I'm not sure why else infection via that could be different.)
(that or it's that she only got the teeniest bit infected - it depends whether we think ellie's actually the first, or whether others have, for instance, touched infected with a papercut and ended up immune. maybe never found out, or maybe got bitten after and assumed they were doomed and got killed before they would turn. maybe a few, like ellie, realised and kept it quiet - or maybe they told people and that's how the rumours of potential cures started.)
— I'm told that ellie's mother voiced ellie in the video games and marlene voiced marlene (HI MARLENE <3) which is SO cool. she looks and sounds so much like someone ellie might grow up to be, it hurts a bit.
— holy shit she's made of steel. singing and holding a knife to her own neck and, what, planning to kill herself when she starts slurring? when she almost can't hold the knife steady anymore?
— "I cut it before I was bit," and marlene just tilts her head a little, and anna says again "before."
that's really good acting to subtly convey a thing - that marlene suspects she's lying, that anna maybe knows she suspects it but reckons she can safely stick to that story for now.
— anna having to beg to be killed. fuck.
— this fucking long pause here
— honest to goodness the emotional impact of "cover her ears."
— BUT THEN HE DIDN'T EVEN COVER HER EARS. did he think cloth tucked loosely around her was enough. is he already deaf from gunshots himself. has he never been around a baby before.
— CHEF BOYARDEE, HECK YEAH
— his grin there. he is such a dad.
— "if you wanna beat me at something, it would be this." <3
— "take this for me" and he trusts her with the gun!!! growth!!
— "do you wanna learn how to play guitar?"
he's- fuck. fuck. he's offering to stay with her after all this. THAT'S what he's doing. right there as they're approaching the hospital where she'll hopefully be the source of a miracle cure, he's finding a way to say "I'm gonna stick with you after this, I'm not gonna say it but I will make it clear."
mister "not good at this [talking about feelings]" finding another way.
— (bad screenshot because that unhappy face graffiti struck me as SO video game, I couldn't explain why)
— ellie correctly guessing joel's modus operandi, joel straight-facedly joking about using dynamite instead <3 <3
— joel trying the feelings talk, ellie apologising, joel really softly saying "no, it's fine," AUGH
— ellie you'll give the old man a heart attack.
— OKAY THAT'S A FAIR REASON TO RUN OFF ACTUALLY
— ellie's whispered "don't scare it," joel's promise that he won't. this is so unspeakably tender.
— sometimes it's so clear that ellie's a child, you know?
— I've heard this comment about studio ghibli films, that they have a lot of… empty space for things not happening, just space for wonder and beauty and peace, and it's something I really appreciate. I never thought to see it in a zombie show.
— I want to cradle this moment in my hands like a baby bird.
— joel just resigning himself to the fact that they're following a giraffe now
— offering her that option of just, leaving and living a life, fuck. and it's her choice to keep at it. that's so good.
— "it was me. I was the guy who shot and missed." joel
— "so time heals all wounds I guess." "it wasn't time that did it."
they're really not beating around the bush with this father-daughter thing, huh
— they talked about their feelings I'm so proud of them both
— PEOPLE ARE MAKING APOCALYPSE JOKES LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW
I cackled <3
— ...okay. the moment we saw marlene I knew this wasn't going to be good and, well, she proved it.
— the awful thing is I believe that she does understand what joel's feeling right now. and I don't know what's right in this situation. but this is joel and ellie's story and I care about them both and the fireflies are sacrificing a child on a possibility of a cure based on one doctor's theory. no smaller measures first, no biopsy that she'd probably survive, she gets put under immediately to have her entire brain removed.
excuse me for being very callous for a moment (I am also very angry don't you worry) but that is an awful use of resources. if they're wrong they won't have any more chances. if they lose this lab like they lost the others they won't have any more chances - and nor will anyone else with the ability to work on this, as much as I wouldn't trust fedra to distribute the cure to everyone they can. the fireflies are gambling with the death of a child, and if they lose, well, they're doomed anyway.
maybe I'm being overly harsh. I really shouldn't keep the show paused for twenty minutes just to feel things.
— honestly cannot tell if giving joel ellie's knife is meant to be kind or cruel. (okay, probably kind. but fuck.)
— joel yes
— this quiet, grim, inevitable music while joel's just going around shooting people, fuck. he's gonna wipe out the last of the fireflies to save her.
— using ellie's knife to kill one of them. shit.
— tragic musc as befits a tragedy - all the deaths, of course, but also the death of the goal he and ellie set out to achieve.
— and the vibe to all of this, really, but especially the moment the presumably-doctor picks up a scalpel and refuses to let ellie go, it's that the doctor's bravely facing a villain, it's that joel has changed just a little in this decision to get ellie out no matter the cost (was it even a decision?) and now he's something else, something awful, that he has been all along.
— (during that murder spree scene, though, he sure moves like he had formal training. I'm not sure what to think about that tbh.)
— marlene you're saying ellie would want to do what's right but you didn't even fucking ask. you were unwilling to ask her and risk having to actually overpower and murder a scared teenager instead of an unconscious one. you didn't know, so you'll never know, so don't imply it's ellie's call and then pretend you didn't have to bother with asking.
this is tapping into a mess of IRL stuff for me, feel free to skip, where I think that people who kill other people from a distance with deniability and respectability could do with facing their victims more often. for an easier example: someone who wants to launch nuclear missiles should have to face someone they know and cut into their heart to get the launch codes.
and the clean and mannerly murder of a sedated teenager by people who honestly looked a bit guilty when joel stopped them is just too easy.
...but still, I could justify it if I were sure about the results.
— oh. oh, joel.
— she's fourteen. it wouldn't have been fair to ask this of her. it isn't fair to hide this from her. but I don't know which one's less fair and this one leads to her alive and not blaming herself, so long as he does this right.
— but the way ellie's eyes just snapped to him when she said "were people hurt?" and he said "yes," I… do wonder if she suspects something.
— this is selfish of him though. as selfish as killing dozens and potentially dooming so many more just to save one.
— "I'm taking us home." now I'm the one having emotions only known to shrimp
— "well, she was a lot more… I wanna say girly, and I'm not sayin' that you're not girly…" "I'm not." "yeah, you're not." good display of tact from the father of two daughters, here.
— "she had a killer smile. again, I'm not saying that you don't." <3
— it's nice to hear him talking about sarah, but it's strange. I think it's the high of finally getting ellie safe. I think he's talking to cover the awkwardness, ellie's quietness, the big secret being kept from her, not spoken but still partly felt.
...I think he's taken the last step in his mind towards accepting and keeping her as family, and she didn't see it happen, so she's kind of a step behind.
— I figured riley was the first one ellie killed, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear.
— there are a lot of moments in this that I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into or not, but they've all seemed solid so far, so I'm gonna go ahead and guess ellie knows joel is lying to her, she's just… not gonna call him out on it.
— maybe it's a trust thing. maybe she's sensing that whatever it is is so much bigger and worse than what she's faced before - and joel knows that - that she doesn't want to face it. not if it means going against joel. not now they're safely together again. maybe it's just wanting to keep him and sensing this might drive them apart.
— yeah. okay. yeah. that "okay" on the end, that's an agreement to let it go for now.
hoo boy.
so my friend tells me that the ongoing debates in the community are a) whether the fireflies were right to try to do what they did and b) whether joel was right to do what he did then lie to her. I've already reached as much of a conclusion as I can about the first, without knowing more about the situation.
the second? I don't think there were any right decisions to make there. I don't like, on reflection, that joel's motives were probably more selfish than about trying to do right by ellie, and I almost wish the chance of a cure had been a certainty just so this would be simpler. I kinda wish that the fireflies had given ellie the choice, even if they'd planned to kill her anyway, which is making me think I'm not being entirely rational about this.
and what a moment to end on. it's uncomfortable - what I've largely been watching for is the relationship between joel and ellie, and that's been strange and strained for this entire episode, with them finally approaching ellie's goal and then joel keeping things from her after. I think things between them are going to return to some sort of normal now. I think ellie at the end was willing and planning to set this down and stop dwelling on it so much, if joel didn't budge at all.
and I don't like the tacit betrayal in that, the fact that ellie didn't at any point get a choice, and maybe joel could have safely ensured it once he'd gotten to her but maybe not, and it's not like I don't respect a character who leans into salt-the-earth vengeance in defence of a child...
it does feel like by the time he and ellie were taken by the fireflies, the story had pushed them onto a path they couldn't escape from. joel wouldn't have done anything but what he did, except perhaps fail. I don't know for sure what ellie would have chosen - my friend's in slight disagreement with me about that, but he's drawing on the game canon too, and I haven't seen enough of ellie yet. not with how much she clearly cares at the end, and not with her being so angry and so much a survivor.
I'm wrapping these thoughts up four days after finishing the episode and reaching absolutely no firm conclusions, folks. just the faint and horrible suspicion that I might have preferred joel as a character when he was still twitchy and uncertain, when he hadn't yet committed to protecting ellie tooth and nail, no matter what it took.
maybe I'm struggling to see where all that trauma went. maybe I'm not entirely comfortable with the sheer and total starkness of his morality. maybe I wanted to see the comfortable, sassing-back-and-forth joel and ellie just once before the end.
this show was a rollercoaster.
#it's a long one and it's time for STRONG OPINIONS <3#and also cute screenshots and loving image descriptions because I know what I'm about son#the last of us hbo#the last of us spoilers#tlou spoilers#angst tag#orig#I usually LOVE a good monstrous character so I'm really thrown by my reaction to the finale#it's a lot!! the characters are a lot!! my ethics opinions are a lot I'm so very sorry#I've spent way too long editing this and desperately need to post it there is just... so much and also the ethics
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Duh, now I remember! So we talked about marriage, dates, arguments...BUT
how did you meet? Was it love at first sight? Enemies to lovers?
Let's go, Darling!
I miss Santana so much, that’s probably why this got dirty in the end. But I mean look at him, how could it not
I need new coworkers. That’s what I said in my head for the tenth time tonight. The first time was when they rolled their eyes at my dress. It wasn’t short or tight enough, instead I opted for a comfortable summer dress and matched it with wedges and not stilettos so that I wouldn’t twist my ankle. The fifth time was when the Uber dropped us off in front of a club and not a restaurant. I joked that maybe they would have chicken fingers here, nobody laughed. The eighth time was when they ordered shots and told me the liquor would taste like chocolate cake. That was a lie.
The tenth time is right now dragging me to the dance floor. I usually have fun dancing, like at weddings and parties. Because I can be silly and just have fun. Here in the crowded club everyone is just trying to be sexy and draw attention to themselves. I feel completely out of place. The DJ starts to play a song from the early 2000s, a song I used to dance to in my childhood bedroom. I start to sway my hips and get into the moment. Maybe I can be sexy.
Seconds later, I feel someone come up behind me and start grinding into my butt. Shit, I yell/think to myself I somehow was too sexy.
Santana
I really don’t want to be here. When I was younger, you had to convince me not to go out to a club. But now my back hurts and the music is too loud. And I rather be at home with a beer and watch the Yankees. I only came here because the younger guys in the locker room, told me I couldn’t keep up. And I just had to show them they were wrong. So now I’m sitting in the VIP section nursing an overpriced and watery vodka and soda, people watching.
Everyone here is trying too hard. I watch as a group of girls start walking to the dance floor, they are practically dragging one of the friends with them. Once they get her on the dance floor, they abandon her and start grinding on each other. They are purposely trying to get attention from guys. When I was younger they would be the type of girl I would go after. But now my eyes can’t leave the girl in the loose fitting dress. She’s so fucking cute just standing there, not knowing how to dance. A song starts to play that she must like and I watch her hips move and I can’t stop looking.
I quickly swallow my drink and start thinking of how to get her home with me. In my twenties I would just start grinding up on her and pull her into the alley for a quickie before going back in the club. But that doesn’t interest me, I want to know her name, what she likes, would she want to watch a ball game with me? I’m not the only one who noticed her though. I’m halfway to her when some kid starts grinding on her. She instantly looks uncomfortable, and I’m grateful that my knee is healed, just in case I need put this fool in his place.
She handles it on her own though. she turns around to face him, says something, and than starts doing the most idiotic dance moves ever, like the shopping cart and sprinkler. I laugh out loud as the dude slowly backs away horrified. Without realizing it my brain automatically thinks that’s my girl. And I don’t even know her name. Yet.
You
I’m done. I’m hungry, my feet hurt, the girls I came with have officially ditched me, and some random just rubbed his semi hard on across my butt. For a second I think about saying goodbye to at least one of the girls I came with so they know I wasn’t abducted, but I can’t see anyone. And figure they will text if they are really concerned. I start walking to get out of the dance floor and accidentally walk right into someone.
They feel like a brick wall and when I look up I lose my breath for a second. The man I walked right into is unbelievable good looking. He is the definition of tall dark and handsome. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail and he is dressed in jeans and a hoodie that says born nasty. What I like most is his eyes they are like melted chocolate with a hint of something naughty but overall kind. I can’t stop myself from talking “Hi.”
He has to bend down to talk to me and his mouth hovers right over my ear. “I like your dancing.” I feel my face heat up and can’t help but think that he is making fun of me, even if there is no malice in his voice at all. “I was coming over to punch that kid out, but you handled it much better.”
I frown, “where you watching me?” I shouldn’t feel flattered, I should feel grossed out, but I like thinking he had his eyes on me.
He doesn’t answer my question but he holds out his hand. “Santana.”
“Y/n.” When I shake his hand I feel like fireworks exploded right where our skin touches and it shoots up my arm and warms my whole body.
“Can I get you a drink?” I tell him I was actually just leaving and he frowns.
And I know I will do anything to get him to smile again. “I was actually going to find a pizza place or something. Do you want to come with me?”
Santana is smiling again. “I know exactly where to go.”
Santana
It’s dark and quiet outside, I instantly feel myself relaxing. All my life I always knew exactly what I wanted. Become a wrestler. I don’t remember the exact moment I decided that but I remember making a game plan and sticking with it. And know I know I want to be with Y/n and tonight I’m going to find out everything I can about her; she tomorrow morning I can start my new game plan.
I grew up in the Bronx and I always have been proud of where I came from. But tonight I feel relieved and lucky. I took her to a little food truck that had been parking in the same spot since I could remember. I ordered two chop cheeses and cherry cokes. Y/n looks hesitant before taking a bite. And when she tells me She’s trusting me, I feel like a teenager again. And when she smiles and says it’s the best thing she ever had, I can’t help but sit a little taller.
You
I’m walking to Santanas apartment. I know I’m about to have my first one night stand. My legs are almost shaking at how turned on I am and he hasn’t even kissed me yet. All he did was ask if I wanted to see his place after we were done eating and I practically shouted okay. Than when he took my hand, I felt the fireworks again. My mind keeps racing back to being excited and being bummed that this will all be over tonight.
Santana
I want to kiss her, but I play it cool. I grab her hand and walk to my apartment. Every time I touch her, I feel this electric pulse light up my body and I know I will never get enough of this feeling. She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s mine forever.
When we are in the elevator, I pull her into my body and wrap my arm around her waist. When I do this my whole body is on fire with heat and lust. I’ve been in love before, but I never felt like this before. I used to laugh and roll my eyes at people using the terms like soul mates or love at 1st sight. And I have to take back everything negative I have ever said before because I now believe in both.
Thank god I haven’t been home long enough for me to make a mess out of my apartment. I guide her around my place and try not to focus on all the little touches she will add to it. “And this is my bedroom,” I flip on the light switch and in the middle of the room is my bed. I want to kiss her, taste her, make her scream, and prove I’m the man for her in every way. But if she wants to take things slow, I’m okay with that too. I can spend all night just listening to her talk, if that’s what she wants.
It’s a happy surprise when she stands on her toes and kisses me. It isn’t a soft chaste kiss either, it’s a kiss telling me that she wants me as badly as I want her. I easily pick her up and toss her on the bed. She laughs and I want to hear more of that, but right now I want to her say my name. I kick my shoes off and strip down to my boxer briefs. It’s fucking adorable, how shy she looks right now. She bites her lip as she takes her shoes off and tosses her dress over her head.
Instantly I start rubbing my hard on through my briefs when I see her fat Tits braless and juicy thighs. A damp spot is already on her thong. I like that she is a little thicker, that I don’t have to worry about treating her like glass. I sit on the bed and start to kiss her, making sure her back is pressed against the mattress. She taste like the cherry coke drank and I wonder what she taste like all over. But I don’t want to rush, I want to savor this moment. So I kiss her for awhile, until I start to feel her get impatient. Her hands rub up and down my back and she undoes the hair tie I have in.
I move down to kiss over her neck and let my hands roam over her. I grab and pinch her nipples. They slide down over her soft belly and down to her thighs. I find that she is super sensitive when I kiss where her collarbone meets her neck and I put that away for next time. I bend down and lick one of her nipples, than the other. Her back arches, she also likes her nipples sucked. So I keep that up, while my one hand cups over her thongs. She’s so hot and her hips start to rock. My girl is needy and wants to cum.
I kiss my way down and rip her panties off. The way she gasps, when I do that has me almost cumming early. I hear her start to say something about not needing to do that. Her voice is shy and I wonder if she never had a man make him cum while eating her out. Or if she was with some loser that never gave her head before. I smirk my baby girl is about to have her world rock. I don’t ease into, I dive straight in, sucking hard on her clit. Holy fuck she taste like cotton candy and I need more.
“You taste so good baby girl.” I don’t even know if she can hear me, my tongue is fucking her hole and my fingers are rubbing her clit. Than they switch my tongue is playing with her clit and my fingers are in and out of her. Her back arches and she lets out this loud moan that does something not only to my dick, but also my heart. And she’s cumming hard and I swallow it all up. When I pull away and kiss my way back I notice a wet spot where I was. I was humping my mattress like a teenager while eating her out and when she came, I must have came a little too.
I want to kiss her, but I don’t want to share her taste. I want her juice all over me when I fuck her. So I give her little kisses all over face while she catches her breath. I kick my boxer briefs off and hold my breath when I look in my nightstand for a condom. I haven’t been with a woman in a really long time, I can’t even remember when I actually brought a pack. But luck is on my side tonight. There are two left. Perfect. One for right now, and one for in the morning.
I slide the condom over my still hard dick and lick my lips. Her pussy is still having trembles, so I slowly start to enter her. Holy fuck. I have to take long deep breaths. She is so hot, wet, and tight. I go even slower not wanting to hurt her. When I’m finally all the way in, I pause. We both catch our breaths. I wait until she starts to rock her hips and I gently rock back. With each thrust my finger strums
on her clit.
“Santana fuck me,” she wines out. My baby girl wants to be fucked and she is going to get it. I go at her hard and fast, loving the way her tits bounce with each one. I latch onto a nipple and suck hard. My hands are digging into the blankets underneath me, to keep me from plowing right into her. And I move my mouth to the spot on her neck she liked so much earlier.
I can feel her pussy start to quiver and thank god because I don’t think I can last much longer. Not by the way she is moaning my name into my ear.
I give her my hardest and longest thrust and feel her come undone under me. And I finished right after her.
Im fucking spent and so happy. I roll off of her and press our foreheads together. Looking into her eyes, I try to tell her how I’m feeling without saying anything. Than I kiss her slow and long. When I pull away, her eyes are fluttering trying to stay awake. I laugh and think to myself I can’t wait to help get her stamina up. I whisper “go ahead and get some sleep baby girl.” Than peck her lips. Once she is fully out, I stand up and head to the bathroom to toss the condom. I get back to bed and spoon her. I fall asleep thinking of what I should do for our first date.
You
I doubt it’s not even 6am yet. I’m awake and feel muscles I haven’t used since I played tennis in high school. Santana is clinging to me still sleeping. Last night didn’t feel like how a one night stand should feel. Instead it felt like a beginning, I wonder if I should leave my number after I get dress. Before I can even try to get out bed, I feel Santana pull me in closer. “I don’t think so baby girl,”his voice is still sleepy and he hasn’t even opened his eyes yet. I can’t help but not feel my heart beat faster every time he calls me that. “Let’s sleep a little longer. Next I want to have my cotton candy for breakfast. Than I’m taking you out for pancakes or waffles or both and we can talk about all the plans for us I dreamt up last night.” This definitely not a one time thing, this is our beginning.
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b, n, + w for the ask game!
OKAY!!
B- ima go with my current fav ship from my og fandom that, as much as I hate it, I still love it which is voltron. Technically no one themselves convinced me, but I saw the relationship in a fic by one of my favourite authors at the time that I liked, so ima count it (I'm usually the one convincing others with random rare pairs so) i was given Lance x Matt and utterly fell inlove. Like before hand I wouldn't have pared them but now i just want matt to marry lance to officially make him pidge's older brother!!!
N- 3 things I wish I saw more/in in stranger things is (1) kali, I really wanna see more of els sister tbh and I also really want to learn more about her escape and how she did that!!
(2) please please please can we adress Steve's truama!?!? My boy was thrown into this mess and managed to take down a demigorgan without even knowing what it was, got emotionally cheated on most of his relationship with nancy, was nearly killed by demodogs, then billy, then by the demodogs again in s2 all bc he wanted to protect these reckless kids (I dont even think he ever got an actual apology from nancy for the bullshit she put him through either) GOT TORTURED AND DRUGGED BY RUSSIAN SOLDIERS IN S3 no to mention the guilt he must feel for dragging robin into this mess aswell as putting the kids in danger, then watching billy die in front of max??? Then in s4 he has to watch max (someone he sees as his lil sister at this point) fighting this monster on her own with such a limited time left, then got literally dragged into the upside down, STRANGLED, PARTIALLY EATEN ALIVE, then after getting out, have to go back before he was even fully healed from the first time then the vines STRANGLED him AGAIN!?!?!?? Only to after severely hurting vecna, come back to Dustin (basically his little brother) holding the (potential bc I dont believehes actually dead) corps of eddie, his new friend he was definitely crushing on. Eddie who has apparently died the same way he was attacked before. LIKE THERE IS NO WAY STEVE IS OKAY AFTER ANY OF THIS?? YET SOMEHOW ITS STILL PLAYED AS A JOKE???? (I am very passionate on getting these characters therapy bro they've been through so much)
(3) let this fruit salad of a show be gay, we all know it is so just let it be gay!! Give steve his metal head bf!! let robin and vickie be cute band gfs!! Let byler be a thing and let them be happy!! Let max have both her gf and her bf el and Lucas!! Let us have our stoner bfs Jonathan and argyle!!! Let us have single queen nancy who knows shes bi but also knows she doesn't need to constantly be in a relationship!!!!!
(Bonus 4 bc I need to have wayne and eddie interact, they care so much for eachother and we were robbed of having them reunited)
And finally
W- (besides all the sex or die, sex pollen, and everything else that involves questionable consent) I have the most irrational hatred for time loops!! Idk what it is but even if it's the only completed, checks every other box for my dream fic, if it has a time loop? Fuck nope just no. I would rather read the fic from 2016 thats incomplete. I just despise it and I really have no clue why, no fandom would make me want to read that trope!?!?
Anyway hope you enjoyed this lol
#asks and replies#answered asks#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#if steve wont adress his trauma we will!#max mayfield#let stranger things BE GAY#matt holt x lance McClain#matt x lance#latte voltron
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MISSING
I. i remember as a child
marrying my plushies while i wore rose colored glasses
not even realizing how broke we were, that my home, the only one i’d ever known, was about to be sold
or that my mom left so early every morning cos she was going to the methadone clinic
i was going to therapy at age seven or eight, playing puzzle games while i talked about my dad smacking me across the face in front of my only friends for accidentally drooling on him cos of my massive overbite
watching my mom get thrown against our red garage door by the police for stealing a watch
while i screamed bloody murder from behind the window scream, begging, pleading, sobbing, “please don’t take my mommy away”
over and over and over and over
II. and this is the normal life i thought i was living
I thought i must be rich like every single other kid around me, I had no idea we were on food stamps - i thought i was normal… even when my father dragged me onto his 29th story balcony to scream at me and put down my every insecurity
and eight year old me truly considered suicide by jumping, first time i felt suicidal
but i still thought all was well.
III. every apartment i’ve ever moved into after the house sold was slightly worse and slightly smaller than the last, until I ended up where I am now, where I got raped, by a stranger in the “lobby”
on camera yet the cops still said I wanted it
a man smashed my window in cos he was off his meds. all there is now is a wooden board over it
this building has all the crack one could ever need
I feel sick, ill, empty, but most importantly - so so scared. for my life. if i even have a future left. fear is crippling.
IV. I spent decades with no emotions towards dying but I think fear of death is much worse - i miss not being scared to die
i’ve overdosed, blue lips, death rattle, cold to the touch, six times, but here I am, still breathing
definitely the ideal way to die - it’s like going into a warm, gentle slumber
BUT I DONT WANT 2 DIE
there’s too many things to do
I don’t want to be a wilting flower, just wanna grow more appendages, and watch my leaves, rubber leaves, turn greens and pinks - but i’m still scared… if never… accomplishing… anything…. truly
I feel like a rag, a couple uses before it stinks and ends up in the trash.
V. the internet disgusts me, so much disgusts me - on the daily i have identity crisis’ and wonder who the fuck i am!
who AM I?
without my platinum mop on my head I feel even more confused
I don’t know who is staring back at me in the mirror - i’m a blob of confusion and shitty makeup
VI. i’m so filled with fear that i’ll never accomplish what I truly want
I’m 26 but I feel so old
it hurts realizing my art ain’t all that - my writing is subpar
all i’ve got, though
I’m loved but my own self hatred seems to override that
the mirror mocks me - one moment i think i may be beautiful and then i remember that i’m not
i’m just me, whatever that means
whatever that lunar eclipses on my birthday, or the stars in the sky and planets in the universe decide is me
but it still doesn’t tell me the answer… who the fuck am I?
VII. nothing that exists my mouth is good enough for you, why does it feel like you’re working against me when we were built to be a team? i’m losing it… you
IIX. i want to sit on the clouds and laugh at those below and instead, i’m the goddamn joke I don’t want to be the joke
I don’t want to be, period
nothing but a dream, but i’ve lost my wings and my heart.
I live inside somewhere close to hell, stepping on hot coals barefoot
I feel no pain, and I feel all the pain
fear is starting to consume me when the one I love says the words, “nothing left to lose”
my parents never protected me and never will but you, you’re supposed to protect me…
IX. I am not immune to this type of fucking fear
roses roses roses
petal, skull, petal, skull
my hearts gonna grow wings and fly straight outta my chest
but i won’t die, my eyes water with the threat of more pain. i never signed up for this kind of hurt, I was born into it
X. I just want to be married - but it’s too much to ask after eight years
more aspirin, benedryl
xanax doesn’t even take the edge off anymore, cos there’s no edge left - it’s so much stronger, my chest feels emptied out
like my chest was contained in a glass bottle that burst when it couldn’t contain my spirit anymore
XI. take the knife, the needle, anything that hurts or numbs
I just wanna be numb
I can feel the tears escaping my eyes but all I feel is nothing
emptiness, clouds, open skies
I sold my soul and didn’t get a goddamn thing in return
this amount of pain is too much for one girl to take
I feel
LESS THAN HUMAN, as always.
#idk if there’s any typos i don’t feel like reading over i copied this from my notebook#writings#poetry
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(Some of) My Thoughts on WuWa
I've been following Wuthering Waves' production ever since April 2024, so I've been really excited for it to come out! And now that it's finally here, and I've played up to Act II (I've just met Scar and unlocked bosses), I wanna share my thoughts on it.
GAMEPLAY
I really enjoy it! The biggest things for me are the echoes and Forte Circuits, as I think both are rather unique. Echoes are incredibly versatile and can make interesting builds, especially when you consider the cost mechanic. I'll admit it I didn't understand how FCs worked until I tried the character tutorials, but now that I know their ins and outs, I know how to manage them better. I really like how they're responsible for Intro Skills, another aspect I find unique. It encourages fast-switch team comps, and to bring out characters you wouldn't use that much in combat (like healers).
Not to mention the dodge mechanic! It definitely a learning curve for me since I struggle with dodging, so I get very proud when I successfully dodge a mob's attacks, hearing the sound and seeing my character in slow motion.
STORY
Honestly... it's been pretty meh so far. Of course I have a lot of questions that I know will be answered, but a lot of stuff I've done feels disconnected, and I don't really know where the story is going because of it. The "person with no memory is brought to the land for an unknown reason and must take a journey to find it" plot loses it's spectacle very quickly for me. I just hope the next story segments I play are fun, concise, and give me a better understanding of the plot.
And slightly related, but I really hope a text log is added in the future, and a story archive system overall.
CHARACTERS
Another meh for me, unfortunately. The main three (Yangyang, Chixia, and Baizhi) aren't that exciting to me, and I'm only mildly interested in the other playable characters I've met through the story. Scar is fun though! Kinda like a Disney villain (yes, I made Lion King jokes when he was on screen) mixed with a cryptic magician. Don't really care for his whole "We're not so different, you and I" bullshit he pulled with Rover in Qichi, but I'm excited to see him and his flower lady coworker.
As for the characters I haven't seen in the story, I'm mostly excited for the kids (Lingyang, Encore, and Verina), Danjin, and Yinlin. I'm already farming Lingyang and Danjin's intimacy points through the training simulations! (Though... why are they called that. "Friendship" is find, Kuro.)
DESIGN
The environment and Tacet Discord design is by far my favorite thing about WuWa so far!! Especially the more "modern" areas with destroyed highways and the abandoned cars. Speaking of cars, my favorite TDs are the car ones with the longs legs and act like bugs!! (Yes I forgot their names.) And the Autopuppet Scouts! Honestly, any mechanical TD is bound to win my heart. But that's not to say the natural environment are lackluster - everything is so cool to see and explore!
...wish I could say the same for the character designs. I know I sound pretty negative when it comes to the non-gameplay stuff, but a lot of it isn't clicking for me. Basically all the designs feel overdetailed, and while the mainly black/white + an accent color scheme is easy on the eyes, they all become pretty boring to me as a result. Verina is my favorite design for a reason. But I know it's to reflect the the post apocalyptic and dreary atmosphere, so I won't say much.
Aside from Scar and his coworkers. They're so fucking edgy it hurts. I love you 2013 DeviantArt "Red = Evil" faction but your main boy is ugly as fuck.
ENDING NOTES
Trust me, I still have a LOT I wanna say on this, but this post is getting long enough for my liking. I'll just end this off by saying that I'm excited to see where the game goes, and I'm hoping that the lady who gave Rover their resonator power is single.
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lately im properly keeping off my wrist, ive never had an injury (at least not from strain, ive hurt it def though, i got launched off a treadmill once when i was a kid) but i fear it, so i'm being vigilant. i'm fine tho. but its really boring cuz i usually doodle to fall asleep...
but i was thinking like, cell series character designs are really great, i think there's a wonderful uniqueness to them in the design philosophy, but
isn't everyone so difficult to draw....?!?!!! usually i feel like... after the first few times i don't need to pull up a reference anymore, but with the characters in this series no matter how many times, i still look up refs, btw did you know shinano has two tone hair? it's not a shadow.
shinano in fact is up there in difficulty... i think balancing his facial proportions is difficult... he should be so cutes and so adorables but he's not like, karen or izu. the hair is also kind of a challenge, namely his hair after he got a haircut.
the character i think is easiest to draw is ryuu. definitely. i've seen people say hatsutori is deceptively difficult to draw. i agree... even though i feel like by some miracle i understood how to draw him much better than others, he's REALLY hard!!!
the funny thing is, recently the last ryuu i draw, i said "i looked at a ref for once"? well its cause i usually ref my own art. usually it's fine. for ryuu who is easy for me to parse it's usually fine, but i realized recently the bangs were wrong the entire time, so i wanted to try being on model at least once (whether or not i apply it correctly next time is a big "maybe"). also i always draw the bunny ears too short, but that's usually something i am very conscious of (because it is a moe point that i hate that i neglect. MOE IS KING)
of course you'd think... well you draw miwa almost every day... you must be proficient in that? the answer is NO. in fact, he's the only character i am pulling up a picture from the actual game to draw almost every time. CONSISTENTLY. dita's look is easy enough to understand i guess, but the usual look, what's with those bangs?!?!?!!! WHY? i draw his bangs too long, but honestly that's not something i'm interested in rectifying. if anything, i've literally never seen anyone draw him 1:1 to the one picture we have, i feel like everyone struggles. genuinely have not seen any two artists draw him the same. so i am not worried about trying to be "on model". it's his fault for having such a weird wig in the first place. i mean, look, im gonna put it under a readmore and i genuinely want to know if you guys think it's fucked or not. i think it is. usually i have like, the one canon picture we have right, and then 3 of my drawings to ref how i did it, it's a struggle every time. but he's too funny. a character who haunts the interlude and doesn't have a single line in it, only ever talked in the one com report. so i keep drawing him because there's so many jokes to make at his expense. it's very cursed. i think having this blog made me a little obsessed.
for the dita look like i said in another post there's a lot of inconsistencies so i just take what i like. though for the most part i follow the design in the interlude. there's not much to comment about, aside from how i'm wondering where his ahoge is actually placed on his head. i just decide on the fly because i can't tell. it's not consistent between appearances. i won't talk about the scarf i'll start foaming at the mouth im not kidding
not even going into the characters i find near impossible like theodore. i'll cry. i'll be here all day. haruki is hard to draw too...
anyway, here's your serving of miwa's fucked up wig that haunt my nightmares every day because i hate drawing this hair so much:
i hope he DIES in com for this, is he stupid?
i hope everyone finds out he's 60+ years old and he has to hold a press conference apologizing for lying about being a recent ex-teenager
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How intelligent would that person be because if they are a police officer, they are probably like boiling their children
So England decided let’s just go for the military OK let’s do it why
Well, OK but you need to fix that OK
I wasn’t asking I was telling you fix that
Okay
Jesus fucking Christ
No offence
Anyway, like I was saying, England was like you know what like let’s totally fucking demilitarize the military
Because of Sergeant burns because of suspicions of severe child abuse and murder military police
Military police harassment
And then they want to scare you at the police station with little jokes about the babies that you will lose when they put you in a cell so they can laugh at you as you suffer and die of horrible, horrible pain and basically that is the Kentucky love story for the average butt fucker
But I don’t want to deal with all of that
I just really don’t
And I don’t really know who my worst enemy is
But I don’t need any kind of cop being like you know what Rebecca you’re a very dishonest person
Not usually, and I am not playing this little baby fighter game for the rest of my motherfucking life
And that’s exactly goddamn, right because if he isn’t build your baby, I said a bell jar baby
That fucking cocksucker knows better than to be a fucking cocksucker, and he deserves to not have any intellectual property because they can do all kinds of shit to you just like all of the animals that you’ve never exploded and killed. You don’t know, and I said exploited and you know what that’s why you guys can’t have anything you goddamn cock sucker.
So now everybody gets like all kinds of horrible, horrible treatment and we’re just gonna say that we’re locking up brown people and instead you know, I don’t know to be honest with you guys. Why don’t you tell me how the fuck a country is supposed to be run oh, but you guys tell me that people need to be locked in a cage, so obviously there are a handful of six goddamn police officers locally.
Sick
Well, usually those ones don’t hurt me the sixes.
Oh man shit oh it’s it’s how is that man shit like oh cause it’s never about like that being the hero for the kid. Well you know OK you got a lump of fucking Cole how are you like that for Christmas you little hooker you know what you guys are just trying to cross really nasty boundaries whatever though I don’t really give a shit whatever fuck it fuck it all I just saw it like goddamn, so how are you guys doing? Oh God What the fuck though huh so anyways I guess they must have like downloaded the peoples consciousness onto a disk it’s like that movie the what is it the eye where she gets like new eyeballs from that other girl who died in a car accident or something and so she gets like the memories of that person which is really really really sounds like shit well somebody is still trying to block my third eye I’m really scared I am I know that like the biggest fear right now is because of how late they go about the timing of seeing you you’re being addicted that kind of stuff
I said evicted, I didn’t say addicted, but as far as smoking reefer if you feel like it’s an addiction you should quit and also if you have a surgery, I’m told that you can’t smoke so
What the hell
I would hope that I wouldn’t be stupid and naïve enough to accept refer that was laced, but you never know everybody says that like you know, there’s no way to know and then really at the end of the day it’s kind of like who is wanting to hurt you and who is wanting to keep you safe because if somebody wants you safe they will keep you safe. I don’t need to be naïve, but OK so I was thinking about that dream again yeah I know it’s really kind of odd right but it is what it is I know I don’t know what’s going on like it’s like I am fell into a new dimension or something.
It’s bothersome
Yeah, but it’s just a shit ass like horrible frequency
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