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#Virgil will always know how to finish a lyric
loganslowdown4 · 13 days
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Roman: I’M TOO HOT!
Roman: *finger guns at Virgil*
Virgil:
Roman: 😄
Roman: 😀
Roman: 🙂
Virgil: *sighs*
Virgil: *completely deadpan* Hot damn.
Roman: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!!!
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grandhotelabyss · 2 years
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—Autumn Christian, “Autumn Christian’s Rules for Writing”
My favorite excerpts above from a better list of “rules for writing” than most out there. Nothing, blessedly, about cutting adverbs. Adverbs are fine, mostly. Every tiny thing doesn’t have to serve action; some things can be there for the sake of tone, pace, mood. Even vagueness has its uses. 
But yes, we should all be doing more of nothing. The world doesn’t need books-by-the-foot. Inspiration is undervalued because uncontrollable—literally priceless. I make attempts on stories and novels all the time, “raids on the inarticulate,” but I know when it’s inspired and when it’s not, and I only bother to finish when it is. This is advice for creative writing, beautifully gratuitous writing, writing for which the world didn’t ask and doesn’t yet know it wants. For other types of writing, more professional varieties, you must of course produce clean copy on deadline, which I am happy to do.
Anything on the list I disagree with? “Find your voice”—I’ve always thought this advice misleading unless you’re a lyric poet. But many lyric poets, even ones we think of as quite “pure,” write in many voices. Emily Dickinson—she’s a bird, she’s a boy, she’s a corpse—who knows what she’ll be next? If you write novels, plays, screenplays, comics, or anything else with more than one character, doing different voices isn’t optional. 
I would say instead find your sensibility, your field of inquiry, your matters of concern, your color palette. Really, I trust the authority of my dreams. If I can write something that approximates their paradoxically grounded surrealism, their workaday prophecies, their transfiguration of elsewhere into home or vice versa, then I know I am on the track. How restricted or unrestricted this dreaming will be is not up to us, neither at the outset nor as we go on. Where any of us falls on the continuum expressed in Mark van Doren’s old line, “Homer is a world, Virgil a style,” is for others to say. Style over world has its costs, though. Again from Christian’s list, this one is properly haunting:
Most people have one glaring fatal flaw that keeps them from being great, even if they possess all the ability and talent. Have your psyche remain unexplored at your own peril.
If it were only one flaw, we could all avoid it. But every writer has a particular flaw, usually coiled inoperably around the very source of power. All the flaws could probably be gathered under the heading of “fear,” but to say so is to tempt people into cheap shock tactics when that isn’t the point. Provocation can be as much of a safe space as sentimentality. The greatest writers were never afraid to have it all, the provocation and the sentiment close enough to touch, as in life. 
I’m still reading through D. H. Lawrence’s major novels. I understand what I take to be his decline in these terms. In Sons and Lovers, Paul and his sister helplessly giggle as they prepare their dying mother a mercy-killing overdose of morphine. That’s just how it happens in life, all the emotions at once. This is the world, worthy of Homer. But by Women in Love, Lawrence has a little girl drown, and all the main characters, including her brother, shrug and essentially say, well, whatever, death is omnipresent and probably better than a boring existence. This is a fall into style. The final fatal flaw, then, to which even eminences like Virgil and Lawrence were prey, is to fail to be a world.
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northlight14 · 3 years
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Gettin’ bi
(Title inspired by the song “Gettin’ bi” from the show “crazy ex girlfriend”)
Description: Really, all Roman wanted was some time to relax after a long week. But, of coarse, his brother Remus has to come and crash his binge watching session. 
TW: caps, cursing, let me know if I need to add anything else
Ships: platonic creativity twins, implied roceit
Genre: human au, high school au (kinda, it’s mentioned they go to high school but that’s it)
Prompt: bisexual (prompt given by @pridewrite2021
(Mild spoilers for the show crazy ex girlfriend!! Also if you haven’t seen it, go watch it because it’s soo good and not as sexist as the title makes it sound! You don’t really need to have seen the show tho to read this)
It had been a long week. Roman had been having to balance home work, art coursework AND practicing for the school show. Not to mention how many arguments he’d gotten into with Virgil about lighting of said show. But now it was finally Friday night and he could breathe. 
Roman went straight to change out of his regular clothes and into his silk red pajamas, the material feeling soft against his skin. He then switched off his bedroom light, making the room as dark as possible, flopped onto his bed and switched on his TV to Netflix. He looked through each of the shows on his list that he’d been meaning to watch before changing to his ‘watch again’ list to binge ‘Crazy Ex Girlfriend’ for the 5th time. What? Roman knew what he liked. 
He clicked onto a random episode before huddling into his white duvet and red and yellow pillows. A few episodes passed, Roman singing along to all the songs having memorised them by now.
‘I really needed this’ Roman thought as the next episode began to play.
Then, as if on que, his brother Remus burst through his door, the light from the hallway blinding Roman.
“Hey dipshit! What we watchin’?” Remus said, jumping onto Romans bed, crushing his legs in the process.
“Ow! Remus!” Roman squawked, pulling his legs away.
“Don’t be a puss.” Remus laughed, nudging his brother in the side and yanking the blanket over towards him.
“Remus!” Roman said, trying and failing to steal his blanket back.
“Sorry Ro-bro, it’s mine now. So, what we watchin?” He asked again.
Resigning himself to the fact that Remus wasn’t going to leave, he answered rather defeatedly, “Crazy Ex Girlfriend.”
“That again? Wait, was that you singing the songs again?! I thought a cat was getting mauled somewhere or something!” Remus laughed as Roman made an offended gasp before hitting his brother in the head with one of his pillows.
“Shut up!”
They were able to get though a few minutes of the episode without too much of an issue. Emphasis on the too much because Roman has a beautiful singing voice thank you very much and those aren’t even the right lyrics Remus and you know it!
That was until a very specific scene started to play.
‘Shit.’ Roman thought. ‘Are we up to this bit already?’
Roman watched very quietly as the character Darryl began to call his co-workers into his office, his back going (ironically) very straight and his discomfort hanging thick in the air.
‘What the heckity heck five abs and one pec am I supposed to do here?’ Roman thought in panic as Darryl began to sing the iconic song ‘Gettin bi’ as he came out to his co-workers. It was one of Romans personal favourites in the series considering he was also bisexual. But also considering no one apart from a few close friends knew that, this was approaching dangerous territory.
‘If I don’t sing this song, that’ll look suspicious!’ Roman thought. ‘But if I do, there’s a very high chance I’ll get too into it and out myself! How the heck to straight people react to this?!’
He eventually opted to humming it slightly, making a comment about how he “doesn’t really know the words to this one,” despite it being on his playlist. Roman then dared a glance at his brother, who was watching the show unbothered. He couldn’t help but wonder what Remus was thinking. Sure, Remus had never said anything homophobic in the past but Roman had met some of his friends and they weren’t exactly the most pleasant of people.
‘Well, most of them.’ Roman thought, blushing slightly as he thought of Janus, Remus’ best friend, before shaking the thought away.
“It’s pretty cool they have so much diversity in this show.” Remus said casually, tossing popcorn into his mouth. (Wait, when did Remus get popcorn?) “I mean, most shows completely ignore bisexual people existing but this guy gets a whole ass song about it.”
Roman couldn’t help the warm, comforting feeling in his chest. “You think?” He said, carefully.
“Well, yeah. Me and one of my friends who’s bi was talking about this yesterday. In shows and movies, they always act like a character can only be either straight or gay but that’s so stupid. They can be bi or pan or poly or omni. They’re just uncreative and erasing a bunch of people.” Remus said, tossing a sweet into his mouth. (Wait, when did Remus get sweets? What the fuck?!)
Roman honestly felt like he could cry. “So you don’t think it’s, like, made up or whatever. Or a phase?” Remus looked at him judgingly.
“Well, obviously not.” He said as if Roman was stupid. “Why, do-oof” Remus was cut off by Roman tackling him into a hug. And yep, Roman was definitely crying now. Remus just seemed to freeze like a deer in headlights.
“Roman, what the hell?” Roman moved away from Remus, frantically whipping tears from his eyes. “Uh...Roman? You alright?”
“I’m...um.” Roman began to choke on the words he was so close to speaking. ‘Am I really about to do this?’ “I’m bisexual.” He quickly said, eyes averting Remus’.
There was a beat.
It surely must have been just a few seconds but God did it feel like an eternity. Roman looked at Remus, waiting for him to say something. Anything.
‘Oh God this was a mistake! He hates you! He’s going to out you to mom and dad and-‘
Remus smirked. “Yeah, and the skys blue, grass is green and snakes have two dicks. What else is new?” Remus laughed.
“I...what?” Roman said, not entirely sure what to say to that, especially that last comment.
“I already knew you weren’t straight, you dork.” Remus smiled, nudging Roman in the shoulder.
“You...what?” Remus just laughed.
“Roman, you’re literally a theatre kid. Plus, anyone with eyes can see you drooling over Janus every time I bring him over.” Roman felt his entire face go red at that. Then he felt a twisting sense of horror in his gut.
“Do mom and dad know?!” He asked, slightly panicked.
“Probably not but I won’t tell them if you’re not ready.” Roman sighed in relief at that.
The two then turned back to the TV. The song had finished and the episode was continuing. Roman felt...strange. Almost as if it wasn’t him who had just come out.
“I’m really proud of you, you know.” Remus said, not taking his eyes off the screen with a small smile on his lips. Roman felt his heart light up, almost like a massive weight had been lifted from his chest.
That was until Remus playfully punched him in the arm.
“Ow! Remus!”
“What? That’s how I show affection!”
This quickly turned into a wrestling match.
Roman was glad things hadn’t changed that much, at least.
————
Reblogs >>> likes
For those who want to listen to the song: here
I’m not saying this was an excuse for me to tell everyone to go watch crazy ex but like...I’m not denying it either😅
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little-kat07 · 3 years
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The Perfect Cake
[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! 
A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!
This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.
So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]
[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]
Link to book
---
Pairings: Logicality
TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown
Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.
---
Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.
He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.
Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.
Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-
Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.
Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.
Patton took a deep breath and got to work.
After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.
"Patton? You ok, Padre?"
Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.
Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."
Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."
Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"
Oh, how wrong Patton had been.
Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.
"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.
Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"
Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"
Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"
Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.
Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"
Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"
Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."
Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."
Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.
It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.
Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"
Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"
Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."
"Thanks, son!"
Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"
Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.
He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"
Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"
Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.
"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.
Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.
Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."
Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.
He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"
"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.
"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."
Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."
Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"
For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."
The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."
"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"
"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"
Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.
"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."
Janus sighed. "If you say so."
They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.
Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."
Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."
Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."
Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"
Patton was an amazing decorator.
After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.
Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."
Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"
Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"
Patton nodded back. "Of course."
Janus smiled, relieved, and left.
---
---
Patton was SO TIRED.
It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.
Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.
Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.
When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"
Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.
First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.
Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.
Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.
After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.
Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.
Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.
As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.
He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-
Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.
He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.
He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.
...and then he tripped.
His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.
He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.
The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.
It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.
Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.
Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.
"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.
Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"
Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.
"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."
Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."
Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."
Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.
Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?
Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.
Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.
Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?
"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"
Patton could barely find the breath to speak.
"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."
"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."
Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.
Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.
To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.
"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."
Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?
He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'
"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."
Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"
Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"
Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."
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whyiask · 3 years
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Once Upon a December
relationships: platonic creativitwins, platonic LAMP WC: 1476 Summary: Roman has been singing a song to himself, but something is always missing. The same song has popped into Remus’s mind and he can’t stop humming it. Maybe all they’re missing is each other. tw: a bit of gross stuff having to do with intestines during Remus’s bit in the middle genre: light angst --> fluff
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Roman and Remus had almost nothing in common. Roman was a prince, Remus was a duke. They had separate sides to the imagination. It was difficult for them to hold a civil conversation without some big disagreement. They had been separate for so long, neither could remember the brotherly relationship they once had, except in wistful daydreams and faint memories.
“Dancing bears, painted wings,” Roman sang under his breath. “Things I almost remember.” He raised his arms and self-orchestrated, waltzing with an imaginary partner around the room. Something felt off. Missing. It always had.
“And a song someone sings.” He performed a perfect pirouette, stepping out into a lunge. Roman could almost hear someone singing along with him, a whispered memory in the back of his brain.
“Once upon a December,” he murmured. He had trailed off from singing, coming to a stand-still. The music halted as he stopped his solo dance. It was wrong, something was wrong. It shouldn’t be a solo. But… a duet wasn’t right either. It felt like a part of him was missing, the power and emotion in the song was excellent, the passion was clear and the dramatics were all in place. Roman couldn’t place a finger on what was missing, but he knew that he couldn’t fill the void.
In the back of his mind, he could remember performing the song, although he never had before. In his mind, it was magical, a rich, full sound and it was complete. But as hard as he tried, he could not produce the sound. It didn’t frustrate him like it should have. Instead, all he felt was that whisper, the broken sound trailing off, the wisp of memory slipping through his fingers.
Roman was almost afraid to start his song again- afraid of breaking the spell, losing the moment. Sighing, he wiped away his makeshift ballroom and left the imagination. Maybe someday he would finish the number. Maybe someday it would feel whole.
He doubted that day would ever come.
-
Remus wasn’t particularly fond of music, not unless it was nails on chalkboard or screams of agony. That’s why he was surprised at himself when he found himself humming Once Upon a December. As far as he could recall, he had never seen the musical, leaving all the Broadway and Disney to Roman.
“Someone holds me safe and warm,” he hummed under his breath. The lyrics sprang to his mind and he was drawn to them, unable to stop himself from singing lightly. It felt weird, wrong for him to be singing such a soft song, but he couldn’t stop- he didn’t want to stop.
“Horses prance through a silver storm.” Remus conjured a small, silver horse. He held it up, examining it closer. He pulled open a hatch on it’s stomach and held back a chuckle as the horse’s intestines fell into his palm. 
“Figures dancing gracefully across my memory,” he sang, slightly louder. He weaved the long, meaty strings into red ribbons, dancing in front of his eyes. After a moment, he snapped and they fell back into his palm. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes.
The melody had been echoing in his mind for some time now, but it had always been dissonant, notes striking minor and empty. Singing it out loud had been the closest he had been to feeling complete in a long time. Even as he finished a few lines of the song, he could almost hear another voice, echoing it back to him.
Remus shook his head and snapped away the items in his hand. It wasn’t worth dwelling on. He was cold and lonely, it had never bothered him before, and a silly song- that wasn’t even part of his side of creativity- wouldn’t come along and fix anything just like that.
-
“Someone holds me safe and warm,” Roman sang out, spinning into the living room of the mind palace. Logan rolled his eyes fondly from behind his book but didn’t look up. Virgil was lounging across an armchair, scrolling through his phone, and he didn’t acknowledge Roman’s presence at all.
“Horses prance through a silver storm,” he continued, riffing his way through the line. Patton stuck his head out from the kitchen and his face lit up when he saw Roman. Roman gave Patton a small flutter of his fingers as way of greeting.
Patton came out into the middle of the room to join Roman. “Figures dancing gracefully across my memory,” they sang together. Roman took the melody and Patton sang a light, upper harmony over the top. Roman paused and his eyes lit up.
It had… sounded almost right. Something was still missing, but singing with Morality had been closer than singing by himself.
“That’s it!” he gasped. Patton beamed.
“What’s it, kiddo?”
Roman pointed directly at Patton dramatically. “You, my dear padre! That harmony is everything I’ve been looking for.”
Patton’s eyebrows scrunched, signaling to Roman that he was slightly confused. “I’m glad I could help…?”
Roman thought for a moment. “Logan, Virgil? Would you mind-”
Logan sighed and put down his book. “Is it important?”
Roman nodded vigorously and Virgil stood up as well, slouching over to Roman’s side. “One time, Princey,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “But only because I’m in a good mood. Don’t expect this to be a regular occurrence.”
Logan stood up as well. “I’m not sure I can be of much assistance, but as Virgil said, I’ll try one time.”
Roman’s smile was bright enough to light up the whole palace. “Brilliant!” he cried, grabbing Virgil’s hand(ignoring the yelp of protest) and Patton’s, who then linked with Logan. They sunk out together, rising up in the imagination, where Roman quickly pulled up his ballroom from before.
Logan, Patton, and Virgil backed up to the corner of the room, waiting for Roman to begin. He looked down and took a moment to breathe, to get in character, before lifting his gaze with passion alight in his eyes.
A wave of his hands later and music had started playing. Roman hit his first note, launching once more into his intricate solo waltz. In the musical interlude after the first verse, Roman looked over to the other sides with a carefree laugh.
“Feel free to join in anytime, guys.”
Patton joined in immediately, providing a light, twinkling upper harmony. Logan took a second longer, but added to the song with a low, steady one-note harmony that added richness and texture to the song.
It took Virgil another few lines, before slowing adding his voice with a mid-range, twisty, discordant harmony that nearly made Roman gasp at the sheer brilliance. It added an eerie twinge to the song, but it was bittersweet and sounded much better than before. He shot Anxiety a blinding grin before continuing to belt out his lyrics.
Singing with the other sides was magical, it was a beautiful moment, and Roman felt bad for feeling incomplete still. They had a rich sound. They had a magical moment. What was wrong? What could possibly be missing still?
“Far away,” Roman sang, growing softer on the bridge.
“Long ago,” another voice joined him, singing the melody line, only altered slightly to be dissonant. Roman spluttered and spun around to see Remus standing behind him.
“Re?” Roman asked hesitantly, almost unsure if he was hallucinating his brother’s appearance.
Remus scrunched his nose up and gave an awkward wave. Remus being awkward? What was happening?
Roman didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of: the show must go on.
“Glowing dim as an ember,” he sang softly, approaching Remus slowly.
“Things my heart,” his twin responded. Roman held out a hesitant hand to his brother.
“Used to know,” they sang together, harmonizing effortlessly. It wasn’t perfect by any means, and their voices sounded weirdly rough together, but for the first time in his entire life, Roman felt whole.
“Things it yearns to remember.”
The whisper- the memory- was it from before the split? When Remus and Roman had been one and the same?
“And a song someone sings,” both voices were light and disbelieving. Remus took Roman’s outstretched hand.
“Once upon a December.”
The last note lingered in the air. The other sides had frozen in place, unsure what was happening but not daring to interrupt. Roman made eye contact with Remus and a silent message was conveyed.
This is how it feels to be one with your other half, even if just for a moment.
Roman and Remus had almost nothing in common. Roman was a prince, Remus was a duke. They were as opposite as can be, but once upon a time, they had been one. Together. King Creativity. Although they fought and clashed, they made each other complete. And maybe they weren’t as different as they liked to believe.
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vindicatedvirgil · 3 years
Text
snowstorms & spite
Summary: Remus, idiotic as ever, ventures out during a snow storm after a fight with his husband. But their old car can’t handle the weather, so Janus has to trek out to rescue the love of his life. Spitefully, of course.
Ship: Married Dukeceit/Crime Husbands (Remus x Janus)
Warnings: marital spat, discussions of growing their family, mentions of parental Prinxiety to Remy and of parental Logicality to Emile, cursing, getting trapped in a snowstorm, christmas morning
Word Count: 1900
Author’s Note: This is a holiday gift fic for one of my best friends @5-falsehoods-phonated!! I hope you enjoy the crime husbands following in your footsteps of a snow adventure.
The highlighted lyrics while they’re in their cars are songs from each of their playlists. For Remus it’s Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen, and for Janus it’s Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy. I tried to combine them near the end, I hope it worked. Thanks to Abby for daring me to add Evil Night Together in and to both Cat and Abby from Discord for helping me figure out which Remus playlist song to add in.
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“I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation,” Janus’ voice was rising in volume slowly, his hands clenched at his sides as he stood in the kitchen, a few feet away from his husband. “Re, we’ve been married for six months! I’d love to have this conversation in another year or two, truly, but I love where you and I are right now, just us, in this beautiful house, together.”
“It’s just, spending time around Remy and Emile, seeing how amazing the others are doing as parents… it makes me want us to try, too…” Remus carded a hand through his already messy hair. He had been babysitting Roman and Virgil’s recently adopted 2-year-old, Remy, and he was absolutely smitten. But he’d be even more smitten if it was his own child. And only a few weeks ago, the couple had babysat Logan and Patton’s infant, Emile, and while it was tough, Remus knew he was ready. “If we start the paperwork now, it will take two years, I don’t want to wait another year to start this process. You and I both know how long it took and how difficult it was for Ro and Virgil, and yeah, Lo and Pat got lucky, but…”
“What if we got lucky, Re? Before we’re ready?” Janus countered, and Remus glanced down at his feet. “It’s not that I don’t want kids someday, you know I do. But… I’m not ready, yet. Soon, I will be, but…” He glanced out the kitchen window, watching the snow spin around in the blustery winds. “I’ve got probably a year or two until I make Partner. I want things to be stable if we bring a kid into this mess.”
“Fuck, Janus, can’t you see? A kid would add to our mess in the best of ways,” Remus wanted to grab something and throw it, but he closed his eyes instead, taking deep breaths like his therapist had instructed whenever his anger bubbled up. “I need some air.”
“Air? Remus, there’s a fucking snowstorm going on out there! You can’t go out there right now!” Janus’ voice sounded panicky, and it almost stopped Remus in his tracks. Almost. Instead, Remus stomped out of the kitchen, and Janus could hear as he shuffled into shoes and a coat, grabbed keys, and slammed the front door behind him. Distantly, he heard the roar of the engine of Remus’ old car, until it sped away. 
Janus sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table, his head buried in his hands and his elbows propped up on the wooden surface. He wanted to give Remus everything he wanted, but Remus had a tendency to jump into things without thinking. Their whole relationship had been a series of fast decisions, and while Janus loved the spontaneity at times, sometimes it was too fast. Hell, they’d gotten engaged after only a few months of dating, and it took pushing from Janus for them to wait a year after the engagement for the wedding. Part of Janus wondered if one day, his husband would just decide to leave, and without much thought, pack his bags and go, never to be seen again.
-
Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time, I feel alive, And the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah
The music faded into the background as soon as it had started. Remus gripped the steering wheel as tight as he could, blinking away the tears that stung at his eyes. His whole life was a series of disappointments, relationships that ended too quickly or family members that shunned him for being strange. Janus was the first person to see him, truly see him for all that he was, and from that first moment the two held their hands together, Remus knew he would never let go. His relationship with his twin had always been a fraught one, and his childhood was full of pent-up anger and a depression that seeped into every part of his life.
But Janus changed all of that, helping Remus start therapy, with his anger management exercises, being a constant good presence in his life. Remus was ready to put these things into practice, was ready to give a kid the childhood that he never got to have. It would bring more stability to his life.
Was that a stupid reason to want to become a parent? Maybe. But Janus usually made all of his stupid decisions seem reasonable. Until now. This was their first big fight since getting married, and the only other big fight of their relationship was when Remus tried to get Janus to elope the week after proposing. In hindsight, waiting until they had saved up to put a down payment on a house was the right call.
Remus tore through the empty streets of their small town, the realization dawning over him like the way the sun pours over their roof every morning. Janus was the stability that Remus had needed his whole life, and if they needed to wait until Janus felt prepared to bring a child into their lives, then Remus would do it. Even if it took a decade. For Janus, Remus would do anything.
Of course, right as he was going to make a u-turn to head back to the house, the car slammed into a snowbank and shut off. Remus banged his head back on the headrest, groaning as he grabbed his phone out of the center console, quickly calling his husband. 
“Re? You okay?” His husband’s voice on the other line was laced with concern, and Remus felt a pang of guilt at this. 
“I’m okay, I just, uh, hit a snowbank and the car gave out on me,” Remus explained rather sheepishly. “Can you come give me a jump, babe?” He heard shuffling in the background, and a clank of keys, and he knew that Janus was already in shoes and a coat, heading out to his car. “I’m near the junction of 4th and 9th.”
“I’ll be there in five,” Janus said, and then the line cut out, and Remus was plunged back into silence and darkness, the snow covering his windshield. He leaned back against the seat, closing his eyes and trying to focus on his realization.
Even if Janus decided he never wanted kids, that would be okay with Remus. Janus would always be more than enough for him.
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I'll hold your hand while they drag the river, I’ll cuddle you in the undertow
Janus’ car sped through the dark streets, his heart refusing to settle. Snowstorms were dangerous, and Remus knew that, and he still went out and drove, and he could have gotten hurt, and then Janus would be alone again, and that would have destroyed him. Not now, not when they were talking about expanding their family, not when they’d only been married for a short time, it wasn’t long enough, it would never be long enough. Janus would never survive the loss of his husband.
I'll keep my hand on your trigger finger, I'll take you down where the train tracks go
And then it hit Janus, as if he had been pelted with a snowball right in his splotchy face. He’d do anything for Remus, to make his husband happy, to be with him for their whole lives. 
Let's wile away the hours, Let's spend an evil night together
He drove to park right next to Remus’ car, and then the couple exited their respective vehicles, Janus gripping the jumper cables tightly. Remus stood sheepishly by his car, the hood propped open, and Janus propped his open, attaching the cables. He worked in silence, not giving a glance to his husband, because what was the protocol when your husband, who stormed out in the middle of a fight, needed his car jumped? Janus didn’t know. Waiting until they were back home to finish their discussion was probably the best option at this point. 
They quickly got Remus’ car back up and running, and Remus stood awkwardly, watching Janus remove the cables. “Janus-” “Let’s just head home and get out of these cold clothes, okay? Then we can talk. I’ll follow you just in case,” Janus responded curtly, and he got back into his car. He watched as Remus got into his car and began driving home, and then followed him closely, their speeds definitely lower than they had been on their way to the location. 
Who's gonna make you a hero, Who's gonna blow you away, Who's gonna make you a hero
I'm travelling at the speed of light, I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
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Once they got home, they quietly went up to their bedroom, changing out of their clothes and into warm pajamas, and then the couple found themselves silently sitting on the couch, the fireplace warming the room slowly. 
“Janus, I had a realization,” Remus said suddenly, turning to look at his husband. He took one of Janus’ hands in both of his. “I don’t need to start a family, I have you. I thought that I needed more stability, but you’re everything that I could need… I know I jump into things a lot, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and losing you isn’t an option. Whatever I can do to keep you by my side, I’ll do it.” Janus glanced at where their hands met, because the tears were threatening to fall and he didn’t want to look at his husband, not when he was saying such wonderful things, because he knew he’d turn into a blubbering mess.
“Re, when you called, I-” he paused, taking a deep breath; he didn’t want his words to come out in gasps. “I thought something had happened to you. And my first thought was that we haven’t had enough time together, but I don’t think any amount of time together will ever be enough, not with you. Whatever it takes, Re. I’m in this with you for the long haul.”
-
Janus’ eyes flickered open, and he felt around to where he thought Remus would be. But the bed was empty and cold, and he shivered, sitting up and glancing around the bedroom. He could hear music playing in the front room, and he could smell coffee brewing and… bacon? 
And then he realized; Christmas morning had come. It had been a few weeks since the snowstorm. Conversations had been had, websites had been glanced at, but in the end, the couple had decided that waiting was the best option for now. Until that day where they decided to become parents, they’d live vicariously through babysitting their friends’ children, and they’d enjoy their nights curled up in front of the fire.
Janus slowly got out of bed, wrapping his robe around himself tightly, then padded down the stairs to find the tree lit up, a fire in the fireplace, and his husband, setting mugs of coffee and plates full of breakfast food on the coffee table.
“Babe, you should have stayed in bed a little longer,” Janus murmured, coming up behind him, wrapping his arms around Remus’ torso. Remus leaned back, a soft grunt coming from him before he spun around in Janus’ arms, their lips finally meeting.
“Merry Christmas, Jan,” Remus whispered, and Janus smiled, leaning in to kiss his husband again.
“Merry Christmas, my love.”
---
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[masterlist] [AO3]
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lunetheaveragefan · 4 years
Text
one day...
Hi, y’all! Sorry there’s been such a delay for Chapter 2. I’ve been super busy with school and dance and other activities and all that. Also, I decided about halfway through my original Chapter 2 that I was going to alternate between Virgil and Roman’s perspectives so I had to start a new chapter from scratch. But that means that now-Chapter 3 has already been started, so hopefully I’ll have it done by Friday this week!
A Sander Sides high school AU
Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality
Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?
Warnings: Some cursing and quick mentions of a possible fight/hospital. If you notice anything else, let me know!
Word Count: 1,919
anyway, here it is!
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CHAPTER TWO
Roman Princeford is absolutely, completely, terribly humiliated. 
He can’t stop blushing in embarrassment, and it only makes it worse when the classes are boring and he can't stop his mind from drifting to that morning. Like now, for example. 
Stupid, stupid Roman, he chastises himself. Why didn’t you notice him there, you oblivious dumbass? 
He groans and buries his head in his hands. 
“Is something wrong, Roman?” the math teacher asks. “Do you need help?” Yes, but not the help you can give me, Roman thinks. He takes a breath and fixes a dazzling smile on. 
“No, Mrs. Perry, I’m doing fine! Thank you for your offer of assistance, however!” he exclaims in his usual lyrical way. Roman always makes an effort to seem like he’s reading off a script, especially one where there’s a heroic prince he can play. It always makes him feel better when he plays a part. Then, Roman can imagine that he is the character. The same qualities, traits, life, everything. 
He can ignore how stupid he is and pretend he’s a brave, dashing prince. The princes in stories would never have the problems Roman’s been having. 
Mrs. Perry walks off, rolling her eyes, not without fondness, and Roman turns back to his math. Shoving his mind out of fantasy, he tries to solve the problems. It seems like he’s gotten nowhere by the time the bell rings. Throwing his paper into his bag, he hurries out of the room. 
“Heya, Roman!” Patton Hart, his best friend, calls through the throng of people. Roman slows down so Patton can catch up. “How ya doing?”
“Uhh, Patton, I am a disaster!” Roman proclaims. “You’ll never guess what happened this morning!”
“Oh no! What did you do this time?” Patton asks jokingly as they enter the classroom. History is one of the few classes they have together, so they always walk from fifth period there. 
“I was telling a story, a great one, mind you, and knocked over a poor, innocent student!” Roman throws down his bag next to his seat and plops into the hard plastic chair. “I didn’t mean to, I swear. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was who I hit!” Pausing for dramatic effect, Roman finishes, “It was Virgil! I knocked over Virgil Tempest!”
Patton’s mouth forms a small ‘o’. He starts to laugh, but after seeing how embarrassed Roman is, he stops and places a hand on his shoulder. “What did he say?”
“Nothing much. Just some mumble-jumble. But now I can’t stop thinking about him! I didn’t get a single thing done in math! It’s terrible, Patton. My entire life is all going to go downhill from here! I’ll become ineligible for the play because I’m failing all my classes! I won’t be able to graduate, and then I’ll have to work.” He shudders. “That’s it! I’m done for. I’ll never accomplish anything!” He collapses back against the chair for dramatic effect. He knows he’s being very extra, but honestly, what else does anyone expect at this point? He’s Roman Princeford, after all. 
If only I were the brave, loud, daring person the whole school thinks I am.
“Woah, woah, woah there buddy!” Patton comforts. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. You aren’t going to fail high school. You just gotta tell him how you feel! Then you won’t have to worry about it anymore!”
Roman looks at Patton in shock.
“Tell him how I feel?” Patton nods, encouraging. Roman sits back up. “And make a fool of myself yet again? No thank you! He hates me, you know that! I’d be better off flunking high school! How could I look into those beautiful brown eyes in that beautiful face and tell him I had a crush on him! Impossible, I say! Impossible!” He throws out his hands, but then remembers that the exact same movement started this whole thing. Quickly, his hands fall back to his sides.
Patton chuckles. “It’s not as hard as you think, Ro-ro! You’ll do great. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.” Roman sighs. “Hey, why don’t you—”
“Boys in the back,” the history teacher says, shooting a look at Roman and Patton, “it’s time for class. Pay attention please.” They both nod at turn away from each other and towards the board. 
Roman doesn’t pay attention to a single word of the lecture. All he can think about is Virgil’s freckles and his eyes and his lips and his laugh, which Roman had only heard briefly while walking past him but loved nonetheless. How come I’ve never noticed that Virgil had freckles before? he wonders. Goddammit, is that boy just going to keep getting more and more amazing? 
Roman chuckles to himself, thinking, Oh my god, I’m so gay. Deciding he should probably start listening to what the teacher is saying, he shoves any and all thoughts of Virgil from his mind and fills the gaps with information about the buildup to World War 1.  
After class, Patton rushes up to him. He pulls Roman to the side of the hallway in a little nook where the row of lockers end. 
“After school, you should come with me to this coffee shop,” Patton says, a little smile on his face. Roman knows that smile. He’s up to no good. 
“Why?” His voice rises with suspicion at the end of the word. 
“My lab partner, Logan Wise, you know him, said that we should meet up to work on our project after school.” A blush rises to Patton’s cheeks causing Roman to smirk as he figures it out. 
“Someone’s got a cru-ush,” Roman teases, voice sing-songy and laughing. 
“That’s not the point,” Patton says, blushing even harder. 
“Fine.” Roman lowers his voice to a whisper. “But you can’t hide it from me. I’m the love whisperer, remember?” Throughout their years of high school, Roman had been responsible for setting up many couples. It’s gotten to a point where almost every day, he has someone walk up to him, asking him to help set them up with whoever their crush happens to be. 
“Well, maybe I have a crush, but so do you. And you do know who Logan’s best friend is, right?” Patton responds, that same mischievous smile. Roman chuckles, looking around in a fond mix of exasperation and amusement. 
“Virgil,” he finally says. Patton’s smile grows wider. “Look, I told you. I can’t talk to him. I’ll just make a fool of myself!”
“Fine,” Patton says. “Suit yourself.” He pats Roman on the shoulder and starts to walk away. Before he’s completely out of sight, he turns and yells, “Just think about it, okay?” Roman rolls his eyes at his friend’s shameless attempts to set him up and heads to choir. 
------------------
Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Roman shuts his locker with a bang. He joins the flood of people heading towards the front doors. He spills out of the school and heads towards his car. Once he’s only a few yards away, he unlocks the doors and dumps his things inside the passenger door. After waving to a few other kids on their way out that he knows, he gets into the driver’s side.
Alone, finally, Roman allows himself to drop the fake smile. Ugh, you goddamn idiot. How did you not notice him there? Now he hates you even more. Good going, Roman! Love whisperer, yeah right.
If only I could just talk to him…
Shoving his embarrassment and frustration aside, he starts the car and pulls out of the school, heading home. His route home winds its way through the downtown streets. Roman is so used to driving the same streets, he’s startled to notice something unordinary. 
A few cars ahead of him is Patton’s silver car. What is he doing over here? Patton lives on the opposite side of downtown as Roman, and while the town is relatively small, it’s still strange. Roman is sure he’s never seen Patton drive this way home before. 
Turning onto 4th Street, Roman watches Patton, now directly ahead of him, park in an open spot in front of one of the little shops lining the street. The sign above says “The Sanders Cafe” in swirly cursive lettering. A decal of a little cupcake sitting next to a cup of coffee accompanies it. 
Oh, right, Roman remembers. Patton and Logan were meeting up to work on their chemistry thingy. 
And Virgil is probably going to be there. No matter how much he tries to block the thought, it still shows up. Roman has tried to get Virgil out of his mind, but it never works. He always pops up when Roman least expects it. Frankly, Roman finds it quite frustrating. 
Lost in thought, Roman turns one intersection too early. “I guess I’ll just go around the block,” he sighs. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to crashing when he got home. The detour would only cost about 5 minutes but still. Annoying.
Roman’s phone buzzes in the center console while he’s waiting to turn back onto 4th Street, the one with the cafe on it. One quick glance down at it tells Roman it’s from Patton. Checking the road to make sure he has the time, he looks back to read what it says. 
“Patton…” he groans. 
“I think you should come to the cafe with me. I’m waiting outside. Just give it a chance, kiddo!” reads the text message. However much Roman would like to deny it, he does want to go with Patton. On impulse, he finds a parking spot and pulls in. Patton is parked a few spots down, still sitting in his car. He hasn’t noticed Roman yet, and Roman’s glad for that. 
“Come on, Roman,” he says, trying to give himself a pep talk. “Think about what a prince would do. He’d charge in there without a second thought. It wouldn’t matter what would happen because it would be in the name of love. You got this. What’s the worst that could happen, besides Virgil hating the sight of you so much he instantly fights you the second he sees you and you lose and have to go to the hospital and become the laughing stock of the school because while under anesthesia you admit your feelings for Virgil and now everyone knows and—”
A knock on the driver’s side window cuts Roman’s worrying off. When Roman looks up, he sees Patton’s grinning face. The other boy waves enthusiastically and gives him a thumbs up. 
You got this. Be a prince, Roman. It’s in your name, after all. Taking a deep breath and clenching his fists in determination, Roman grabs his phone off the console and double checks to make sure he has his wallet. 
Patton practically assaults him the moment he steps outside the car, talking in a rapid stream of words, but Roman can’t hear anything over the ever-increasing beating of his heart. They walk up to the front door, Patton ahead of Roman, still rambling about something from foods class. 
The moment they walk in, the little silver bell dinging above them, Roman forgets all his worries because there Virgil is, sitting in a booth with another boy, — Logan, probably — his hair falling in front of his face, teeth gnawing on his lip in concentration and Oh god, that boy is beautiful. 
And then Virgil looks up at them, and Roman swears he can feel his heart drop all the way to the ground.
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cmyknoise · 4 years
Video
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So I never got to finish this animatic, and I don’t have the motivation to, however I feel I should post the 20ish seconds I did get done. 
The basic thing is angst regarding Remus to the song ‘Saint Bernard’. My original plans for the song would have different lines apply to different sides. There were a few more frames for the next verse of the song I did but I didn’t like them.  
The lyrics and what I would’ve done will be under the cut! Heads up, if anyone wants to draw or write anything from the animatic or what I describe below, please do! Tag me though because I’d love to see it!
After this part of the animatic, Remus would’ve been lying there as a small calendar with dates change and time passes to a more present time period. 
The lines “When I am dead I won't join their ranks” would’ve had a small thought bubble pop up, and Logan fade in.
Then “Because they are both holy and free,” would’ve had Patton (at holy) and Virgil (at free) fade into the thought bubble. 
The next two lines would’ve been some more angst- with perhaps anger and tears, “And I'm in Ohio, satanic and chained up, And until the end, that's how it'll be,” Remus in his room, the door with caution tape labeled ‘repressed’ on it, he’s not allowed out and he doesn’t want to change who he is. 
For the lines, “I said make me love myself so that I might love you Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to god, when I said it I thought it was true,” would follow Remus and Janus, Remus hugging and begging him- because to me I feel like Remus holds honesty dear to him. 
In this animatic, Virgil would’ve been the ‘Saint Calvin’, and Remus would’ve been getting some information on his dear brother, Roman, from him. This would’ve been shown with the lines, “Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you; But he's got his own things to deal with,” it would also reference Virgil’s arc and Accepting Anxiety. 
Remus would then be thinking about his brother for the lines, “There's really just one thing that we have in common; Neither of us will be missed,” yeah more angst. 
There was going to be a somewhat happy ending! Roman would’ve been the saint bernard, so for the lines, “Saint Bernard sits at the top of the driveway; You always said how you loved dogs; I don't know if I count,” would’ve been Roman coming to visit (due to recent events I feel like this would fit even more now). Roman waiting, arms out to greet his brother after so long, and it would’ve had a happy ending with them hugging and trying to make their relationship better (not in a RemRom way, fixing their brotherhood). 
It would’ve ended with them hugging and Remus crying with the lines, “But I'm trying my best; When I'm howling and barking these songs.”
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askthesandershouse · 4 years
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Character Intros - Logan Connor and Virgil Storm
Logan and Virgil are best friends/partners, and have been for a while. Logan is the one the twins recruited to get Virgil to come to the house. While reluctant, Logan made sure before hand things would be fine and later convinced Virgil.
Logan Connor
Logan is the most logical person in the house. He's a workaholic, aside his major he takes other science courses for fun and takes other online classes at home too. He says he enjoys it, which isn't entirely wrong, but it definitely wears him down much to the worry of his friends. He was friends with Roman, Patton, and Virgil through high school. He and Virge became best friends early on, and now he is one of Virgil's go-tos for help.
While he often bickers with Roman and he can do things that irritate Logan, he still considers him a friend. Nowadays their bickering is mostly light hearted anyways. He keeps a "Virgil time" sign to put on his door when Virge is having a meltdown, since he often hides away in Logan's room for security and help. Logan knows all the most beneficial things to relax him.
Logan is a light sleeper, so when the twins are up at ungodly hours singing songs and making snacks he suffers through every minuet of it. He definitely hates times like those but is too kind to say anything the next day. He does however rant about it to Patton and Virgil. Logan often helps Roman though, talking him through a crisis or aiding him with things he isn't used to. Logan likes Dee, and they get along well, but he tries not to be too buddy-buddy with him since he knows Virgil doesnt like him much.
Virgil Storm
Virgil is a ball of stress and anxiety. His seemingly constant issues make him feel like a burden, but luckily his friends seem willing to help. Virgil has a cat named Mittens and a tarantula named Misery (aka Missy). His pets help him relax and seem to interest his best friend Logan too. He almost always has music on. Virgil plays guitar, bass guitar, and piano. He wants to be a music teacher one day but focusing on his music degree only for now is best for his stress.
Logan and Patton are the only two he goes to for help, since they know best how to calm him down. Virge often hides away in Logan's room when he's stressed because it's quiet there and Logan knows what to do. Patton is always good for venting about stuff and definitely makes him feel supported. Sometimes Patt can be a little much, he doesn't want to be babied, but he does his best and Virgil appreciates him nonetheless. As much as people think Remus would bother Virgil, he actually quite likes him. They were friends even before Virge knew Patton or Logan. After Virgil and Dee stopped talking Remus and him had a chat. Virgil assumes he passed info to his brother. Despite their past, Virge eventually agreed to the house situation. He promised he wouldn't cause problems because of it and Logan told him Dee said the same. He was the hardest to convince, but Dee wasn't his only reason for reluctance.
He paints Remus' nails for him when he does his own, and will do Patton's too if he asks. He has done Logan's before too, but not often. Virgil writes his own music and lyrics, he has a few finished songs and some tidbits of others he would like to record one day. Virgil usually sits in his room and play or listen to music when he has nothing else to do.
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princess-rosie · 3 years
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Underneath The Spotlight- A Sanders Sides Fic
Taglist: @sophiexteresa
Ask if you would like to be added!
Chapter 12- The Most Stressful Twenty Seconds of Patton’s Life So Far
(Read chapter 1 here!)
(Read here on ao3!)
Warnings: Nausea, anxiety, stress, mentions of food, cursing, caps
A/N: this is it folks! Everyone wish Patton good luck, he’s gonna need it
Patton swore he was about to be sick. Waiting in the wings for the first of his back-to-back dances, wearing his next costume underneath his current one, not even Janus’ arms around his waist and soothing voice in his ears could calm his nerves. His breathing became erratic as he felt tears well in his eyes. Janus took his face in his hands.
“Here now, it’s ok. Don’t cry, your makeup will run.”
Patton violently shook his head. “Janus I can’t do this. It’s gonna fail, and I’m gonna miss my next dance, and all that hard work will be for nothing-“
“Patton Hart, you listen to me. Everything is going to be fine. I am here, and I will get you through this.”
Patton nodded but didn’t seem convinced, but it was too late for Janus to try and comfort him any further as suddenly the sound of applause filled Patton’s ears. Janus hugged him tight.
“I’ll meet you round the other side of the stage. Good luck, darling.”
Patton nodded as Janus left him. He truly was in this alone now. This had to go perfectly. It was now or never.
Patton pushed all his fears and anxieties down as the music began, plastering on a big smile as he walked on stage, ready to attack this energetic and fast-tempo dance with everything he had. He’d always enjoyed the more upbeat dance styles, they were much easier for someone of his short stature. Because he was so small, he struggled with the more lyrical and graceful styles- he only really enjoyed ballroom due to being partnered with Janus, he had no idea how dancers like Roman made it look so easy. This routine, however, was more up Patton’s street- it was extremely fast-paced and incorporated elements of jive with lots of kicks and leaps- it was probably one of Patton’s favourites he had ever danced... it would be great if all this impending anxiety and dread could just give it a rest. Patton’s stamina had significantly improved since he started rehearsing this routine, although it still wasn’t anywhere near on the level of Roman’s, Patton knew that wasn’t the real reason his heart rate began steadily climbing towards the second half of the routine. He performed the final steps and beamed out to the audience as he struck the final pose, taking in the sound of applause with pride. But as soon as the lights fell all of that collapsed, and he sprinted off stage faster than he’d ever ran in his life.
Janus, Remus, Virgil and a few others were gathered around a chair waiting for him, each holding an accessory for his next costume. Patton dove into the seat, holding out his arms and legs as about six people swarmed his vision, and he felt his shoelaces loosen and his shoes fall off.
“Virgil, take off his bowtie!”
“Who’s got his hat?!”
“Put on that other shoe!”
“Careful with his makeup!”
“Tie it faster!”
“Hurry up!”
“We can’t stall the music much longer-“
“Five seconds!”
The only coherent thought Patton managed to have throughout this process was “I don’t think I’ve seen anyone tie shoes so fast in my life...” When he was in it to help one of his friends, Remus always pulled it out of the bag. Tying dance shoes at hyperspeed was apparently one of his hidden talents.
A tap on the shoulder from Janus signalled to Patton that he was ready to go, and as he arrived in the wing ready for his next dance, looking himself up and down to give his costume a final check, it dawned upon him that he was actually early. He strolled out onto the stage, beaming with pride, ready to dance his heart out once again. Before arriving in his position on stage, he locked eyes with Roman (also in this dance) for a split second who grinned at him and seemed to say “you made it!” And Patton grinned back. Transforming his outfit in twenty seconds, mastering the art of telepathy, Patton seemed to have achieved it all on that night. What had once seemed impossible, helped by his amazing friends, somehow, he had managed it. And now, once again, he was doing what he loved, performing amazing dance routines on a grand stage. Patton had never felt more on top of the world...
Upon return to the dressing room, Patton launched himself at Janus, babbling words of thanks into his shoulders. Janus merely said.
“Don’t mention it, Patton. It was my pleasure to help you, my love. I couldn’t have asked for a better dance partner these last few months.”
Patton beamed up at him.
“Me either. I love you too.”
Janus suddenly looked as if struck by an idea.
“You know what you deserve?”
Patton tilted his head to the side, giving that damn innocently curious look he’d given all those months ago when Janus had first taught him the waltz, when he’d first fallen in love with him. He gave the smaller boy a fond smile.
“Pizza.”
Patton’s face lit up in a bright smile and he began clapping his hands together at some impossible frequency. Then his face fell a little.
“Aww, Janus that’s such a sweet idea, and I am a little hungry but I don’t think we’re allowed to-“
But it was too late, Janus was already phoning the pizza place.
“Hello, can I place an order please?... could I have two margaritas, two vegetarians, one with ham and pineapple... for the tasteless gremlin over here,” Janus mumbled, giving Remus a derogatory glance, “and...” Janus placed his hand over the microphone to call across the dressing room
“Hey Roman what kind of pizza do you want?”
There was currently a full-scale operation going on across the room to get both twins ready for a dance, Roman turned away from the mirror for a second to shout “Pepperoni please!” before bolting it out of the dressing room towards the stage.
Janus picked up the phone again. “And one with pepperoni please. Oh, delivery address... uhm... you can just bring it to the theatre foyer. Yes, the theatre. Yeah, the big one in the town square. No, this isn’t a prank! I just want pizza!”
Patton chuckled into his sleeve as Janus began to look frustrated.
“Thank you, have a nice evening.” Janus hung up. “Should be here in just over twenty minutes... that should be basically straight after the show finishes.”
“We’ll have to get to the foyer quickly, then.”
“We’ll work something out-“
“LOGAN HELP I CAN’T GET MY SHOE ON!”
“Remus what the hell do you mean?”
“I CAN’T TIE IT UP THE LACE HAS SNAPPED!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S SNAPPED?!”
“I MEANT WHAT I SAID! LO YOU’VE GOTTA HELP!”
“REMUS KINGSLEY I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD-“
Patton and Janus watched the commotion unfold as Logan took the lace out of Remus’ shoe that was indeed completely snapped in half, while Virgil watched helplessly.
“How the fuck have you done that?!” Virgil asked.
“Lecture me later, this is kinda time sensitive!” Remus yelled. He was somehow never ready for his dances in time, despite him having much fewer of them compared to Roman.
“We’re about the same size, just bloody take mine,” said Janus, throwing his left shoe across the room while Patton swore he heard Virgil say “yeet” under his breath. Logan caught it and gave it to Remus, before going to sit in his chair and lean his head against the mirror while pinching the bridge of his nose and taking deep breaths. Janus couldn’t help but laugh at this while Virgil helped Remus tie his laces before he raced out of the room, now wearing one of his own shoes and one of Janus’. Patton laughed out loud because now he could rest easy, with only a couple more dances to go and the promise of pizza afterwards, and the knowledge that he just did something he once thought to be impossible.
Next chapter
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analogicisms · 4 years
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Music & Poetry - Chapter One
Summary: Popular-but-not-really-famous lyricist Virgil Quinn meets an attractive poet named Logan who claims to hate music. Virgil, who believes lyrics to be every bit the poetry as the kind found in books and anthologies and inspirational posters, feels the need to prove to Logan wrong.
Ship: Analogical (with others in the background)
Rating & Warnings: PG 13.
Chapters: 1 - 2
AO3: Chapter One
Thanks to @romantichopelessly for betaing and to @sunshineandteddybears and @paperghastly for pre-reading.
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Chapter One
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♞ LOGAN ♞
Logan sighed as he checked his phone for the second time in two minutes. He was standing outside of the main hall of the university where he would be speaking on that day. Due to his need for extensive planning, however, he was nearly two hours early for when he was required to be there. 
 He considered checking in with the dean of the school but knew that many people felt inconvenienced by those who arrived more than an hour early. Typically, Logan didn’t care too much about inconveniencing others with early arrivals, but Thomas Sanders, the dean of the school, was not just some man who had invited him to speak at this year’s graduation. Thomas was also a very dear friend of his, and Logan would hate to add any undue anxiety onto the man’s already burdened shoulders. 
Sighing again, Logan considered the time once more before opening Google Maps and searching for nearby cafes. 
 Of course, Logan thought as his eyes took in the ten plus pins indicating Starbucks Coffee shops in the area. It was not that Logan was a coffee snob, though his best friend Roman would disagree, he was simply a man who knew what he liked, and Starbucks was awful in terms of taste compared to value. In his opinion, of course—although anyone who disagreed was an idiot.
 Scrolling down to the list, his gaze was caught by the third listing. The Bumble Bean. Logan hummed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the pun. It was, after all, better than the alternative. 
 He noted the letter corresponded with the shop before consulting the map. Clicking on the name of the cafe, it popped up on the map and Logan clicked its little pin. The shop’s information appeared in a little bubble, including the business hours and, more importantly, the distance from his current location. 
 A block and a half away. Not bad for a walk, especially considering the suit he wore. Decision made, Logan set down his messenger bag long enough to pull off the suit jacket. Lifting his bag from the ground, he draped his jacket over the bag and shouldered the strap once more. 
 A quick click of the directions link on Google Maps and he was on his way. 
     ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆
 💀 VIRGIL 💀
 Virgil leaned back in the leather armchair he occupied, covering a yawn with his arm. 
 “Don’t start with that now, ViVi.” 
 Virgil grinned as he looked up at the barista who also happened to be his best friend. 
 “Sorry, Pat.” 
 Patton Hart was five foot four inches of adorable from the top of his curls to his white chucks with rainbow cat faces printed on the material. He also had the endearing habit of worrying for his friends. Especially Virgil. 
 “Late night again?” Patton asked, brows furrowing in concern behind oversized glasses with gold round frames. Virgil nodded. “Sleep is important, kiddo.” 
 Anyone who overheard the conversation would likely wonder why Patton—who easily looked younger than Virgil, though they were actually the same age—was calling him kiddo, but Virgil had come to accept that as just Patton being Patton. He was definitely a mom and dad friend.
 Virgil sighed. “Yeah.” He brought a hand to his eyes, closing them to rub at the lids before offering Patton a winning smile. “These lyrics won’t write themselves.” 
 Patton pursed his lips as he set Virgil’s black coffee down on a coaster. Once he’d straightened up, hands were fisted and rested on hips. Virgil tried his best to hold back a grin, but the other looked too adorable like that and so he failed. Miserably. 
 “It’s not funny, Virgil. One of these days, you’re gonna wish you’d listened to dear ol’ Patton.”
 “And when that day comes, I will gladly accept your ‘I told you so’. Unfortunately, I’m a night owl and my brain works best in the dead of night.” 
 Patton tutted but said nothing else on the matter. “Don’t forget, its drinks night tonight. Emile will be late but I should be able to close up a little early so I’ll be there at ten.” 
 Virgil nodded. “Alright. Honestly, though, I don’t know why I even go. Ever since you two started dating, I feel like such a third wheel. Are you sure you two just don’t want the time to yourself? You and I could always catch up later.”
 “Nonsense. Emile is as much your friend as he is mine, boyfriend or not. And, I don’t want to hear another word about it, mister.” 
 Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Okay, mom.” 
 “Good. Now, drink your coffee before it gets cold.” He glanced up at the front and gave a start. “Oops, gotta get back to work. I’ll try to chat when the rush ends.” 
 Virgil waved him off. “Sure thing, buddy. Talk to you later.” 
 Watching Patton make his way behind the counter, Virgil let his gaze wander to take in the other patrons of the little cafe. A smile slipped onto his lips as he remembered the day three years ago when Patton rushed up to him before blurting out his idea for a bookstore coffee house. Virgil had never seen his best friend so excited about anything in his life, which was saying a lot considering Patton’s default setting was excited. 
 It had taken a lot of work and Virgil had put a lot of money into the place—an investment, he had told Patton when the other tried to refuse—but the struggle had paid off in the end. The Bumble Bean had quickly become one of the hot spots in town, especially for students at the local university and high schools. Virgil was proud of his friend and never missed a chance to tell him, either. 
 The gentle, light sound of the bell on the door sounded and Virgil idly glanced in that direction. 
 Oh. My. God. 
 A man who looked not much older than Virgil--but dressed in way nicer clothes than Virgil had ever owned--stepped inside and looked around before heading toward the counter. Virgil watched him as he made his way across the café, his eyes taking in the man's face as his own heated up considerably. 
 Gay panic is real.
 Virgil quickly looked away, busying himself with drinking his coffee. Unfortunately, due to his preoccupied brain, he had forgotten that coffee was generally very hot, and burned his tongue. 
 “Fuck.” He swore under his breath, tongue now numb and raw. Setting the cup down, Virgil glanced at the man from the corner of his eye. 
 I’m gay. I am so fucking gay.
 Virgil watched as the man stepped up to the counter after the last customer finished paying. He found himself wondering what kind of drink the man would order, mentally reminding himself to ask Patton later. Watching Patton help the man, Virgil guessed at what kind of job the man had. 
 A businessman… then again, those pants are fitted as fuck… lawyer, maybe? Or CEO of some Fortune 500… 
 Pursing his lips, Virgil shook his head. The man didn’t look like a slimy, two-timing, grubby-handed snake. It was possible he was dressed for a specific event. The suit aside, Virgil would guess a professor, or a scientist even. There was no way he would be able to guess correctly, he decided. No point trying. 
 Turning his attention to his coffee, Virgil was momentarily distracted by the sound of feedback coming from the front. A stage was set up on the opposite side of the entrance, a young guy around Virgil’s age if not younger moving the stool closer to the microphone already present. There was a guitar in his other hand and a smile slipped onto Virgil’s face. 
 Virgil Quinn was a college student at the local university but he was also a well-known lyricist. Well, well-known was a little generous considering most people weren’t really interested in lyricists so much as the band or artist themselves. Most lyricists were annoyed by that fact but not Virgil. He liked being famous without actually being famous. 
 Unlike the bands that sang his songs, Virgil could go where he liked, when he liked, with no concern for his safety or his privacy. Even on the rare occasion, a fan did care about the person who wrote the songs, his work was still appreciated and loved from afar. His pictures weren’t the ones being plastered online, on busses, on television ads, and so on. He had more Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube followers than the average person and he was relatively “known”, but definitely not enough that it made much difference to his daily life. 
 That was exactly how Virgil preferred it. 
 “Do you mind?”
 Virgil’s attention had been successfully distracted enough that he hadn’t noticed anyone come up. 
 “Mind?” Virgil’s indifferent attitude quickly turned shy and awkward as he turned to look at the person who asked the question. The gorgeous Mr. Maybe-A-Scientist.
 “I’d like to claim that chair over there but I’ll need to get past you to get there. If you don’t mind.”
 Virgil seized up before mentally reminding himself that this was just another guy. Another human being. He could play it cool. 
 Don’t blush. Don’t blush. Don’t blush. 
 Virgil glanced at the chair before looking back up at the man. He cleared his throat and stood up. 
 In the brief few seconds that past between them as Virgil stood so he could shift out of the man’s way, Virgil became certain of a handful of things. 
 First, the man with his dark gray, nearly black eyes could not be a CEO or lawyer. While his eyes held a certain level of cold, there was far too much feeling in them. Too much depth. Second, the man was at least a head shorter than him but there was no way Virgil would have known if he hadn’t stood up. The confidence the man held about him was absolutely admirable. Virgil would have been worried the man was arrogant or, worse, a narcissist but he seemed far too polite and formal. Instead of self-importance, it was an air of near indifference that radiated from him.
 “Thank you.”
 “Yeah. No sweat.”
 Virgil could have mentally kicked himself. No sweat? Seriously? This man was obviously a man that existed off of intellectual knowledge and discourse. The best he could come up with was no sweat?
 Virgil watched the other’s face, certain to see some sort of sign of dismissal but it never came. Instead, the man raised a brow and a second later, his lips quirked upwards. It was slight. So slight that Virgil wasn’t even certain he truly saw it. That was until the man spoke again. 
 “I still need to get by you, I’m afraid.” 
 Was that amusement Virgil heard laced ever so subtly throughout the carefully chosen words? Virgil glanced at where he stood and swore under his breath. He was an absolute idiot. One thing was certain, however, as Virgil finally moved out of the other’s way. There was a definite spark of amusement in the man’s eyes and voice when he glanced back to thank him, before moving on to the armchair just on the other side of the coffee table. 
 Virgil blushed, quickly sitting once more and trying his best to melt into the couch. Not possible, of course, but he had to give himself props for trying. Deciding he had done enough damage to their interaction, Virgil turned his attention back to the stage where the young man with the guitar was now engaging the patrons sat around the stage. 
 As the singer started playing and fading into his song, Virgil almost forgot about Mr. Sexy Scientist. No, who was he kidding. There was no way he could actually forget about him. Not with him being so damn attractive. Not with him being so damn close. But, his focus was preoccupied just enough to take his mind off the man, if only for the moment. 
 That was, until a sound escaped the man, pulling Virgil’s attention back to him once more. Why is he so good looking? Life hated him. That was all there was to it. Putting such a gorgeous, put together man at arms reach only for Virgil to not have any chance in hell with him. The sound that left the man, however, had Virgil’s curiosity piqued. It was definitely a scoff that he had heard come from the well dressed man. 
 “Not a fan of this kind of music?” Virgil asked, before he could think better of it. He took note that the other had pulled out a book and was presumably reading it. He didn’t even look up at Virgil when answered his question. 
 “Not a fan of music, actually.” 
 Virgil raised a brow. There was no way he had heard correctly. “Sorry, what now?”
 The man looked up this time, a wry sort of expression on his face. It was the look of someone who had had this conversation on more than one occasion and didn’t find it any more enjoyable than he had the first time. Virgil felt bad, but only a little. He was more curious and so offered an apologetic shrug, but continued to look at the man expectantly. 
 The man sighed, marking the page he had been reading with a finger and set the book in his lap. His eyes found Virgil’s and it was all he could do to not look away. Swallowing hard, Virgil waited to hear what the man was about to say. 
 “I’m just not a fan of any type of music. It’s just… not my thing. I guess, classical counts as music and I do enjoy that when I am writing but in the general view of what is music these days, I really can’t say any of it has my appreciation.”
 Virgil frowned. How sad to not like any music. The man looked ready to return to his book but Virgil found himself not wanting the conversation to end just yet. Grasping for something to talk about, he took note of what the man had said. 
 “Writing?”
 The man nodded. He continued to watch Virgil but was obviously not about to offer any further information without being prompted. 
 Just my luck. The most gorgeous man walks into my life and unwittingly challenges all my anxieties. 
 “What do you write?” 
 Maybe he was an author? 
 “I’m a poet.” Suddenly a hand was offered to him from across the coffee table. Virgil took it at the last minute, shaking it and trying hard not to focus on the fact that they were technically holding hands. Too soon, the man pulled his hand back. “Logan Wright. I don’t expect you’ve heard of me but you’ve most likely come across a few of my poems. They’ve been used in various media.”
 Virgil could only nod, unsure of what to say. A poet! Not only that but a poet who doesn't like music. As a lyricist, Virgil was of the belief that lyrics were poetry put to notes in order to make a song—to make music. 
 The man went back to his book and Virgil watched him for a few moments before letting his attention return to the performer. The guy was not the best singer ever but played the guitar like a boss. Still, Virgil could hear the potential and knew well that this man could have a musical career hands down as long as he kept at it. The biggest draw to a singer like this one was that the words could be felt with his voice. That was a quality that so many singers didn’t have but the very quality that proved Virgil’s belief. 
 He knew he shouldn’t care. He knew well that the likelihood of him ever seeing this man—Logan—again was slim to none. Yet, he couldn’t keep his attention from returning to the man. Every few glances, he would see the other wince or grimace. Virgil wanted to feel offended on the singer’s behalf but instead, he just felt pity for Logan. 
 The time soon came when Logan stood and asked by him once again. This time Virgil was quick to stand and smiled shyly. 
 “Hope you have a good day.”
 Wow, could I be any more lame?
 The man smiled, however, and nodded. “Likewise.” 
 Virgil then watched him as he headed out of the shop and back into the world. 
 A few seconds passed, Virgil wishing he had asked for his number or something. Not only that, but the knowledge that the man was missing out on something that was inspiration for millions of people… that just didn’t sit right with him. If only he could spend a few days with Logan… show him what he was missing out on. Prove to him that not all music was bad and so much of it told a story. 
 Fuck.
 Before he could talk himself out of it, Virgil rushed through the shop and out the door. He glanced in the direction the man had gone, his eyes falling on his retreating back. 
 “Logan!” he called out. The man stopped and turned, tilting his head in a cute manner. Virgil didn’t focus on that, instead starting toward him as the man started back, distance closing between them. 
 “Can I help you?”
 Virgil blushed, suddenly unsure of himself. Was what he was about to propose stupid? Whatever. He would never know until he tried. 
 “Give me a week.”
 Logan snorted. “I’m sorry, give you what?”
 Virgil blushed and rushed on. “I mean… in there. What you said about music? Give me a week to prove you wrong.”
 Logan blinked and slowly smirked. “And what makes you think I’ll even be here a week?”
 That stopped Virgil in his tracks. It never even occurred to him that the man was out of town. He felt himself frowning and was about to apologize when the man spoke up again. 
 “I mean, I will be, as it turns out, but it is intriguing for you to just assume so. Still, your proposal has me curious. I don’t know exactly how you plan to change my mind, but I do like experiments as much as the next scholar. I do have somewhere to be at the present, but if you give me your number, I will text you.”
 In the next moments, Virgil gave Logan his number and watched as he walked away. He had no idea how he had managed it, but now that was the least of his worries. 
 Virgil now had just under seven days to change the mind of a very hot, intelligent, and opinionated poet. 
 To say he had his work cut out for him was definitely an understatement.
    ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆
Disclaimer:  The author does not own Sanders Sides or any of the characters found therein. They are also not affiliated with Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes, or the Thomas Sanders team. Only the complete story as it is written is the property of the author and is not to be copied or reposted without express permission from the author.
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Being Human - Chapter 2
A werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost live in the same home together, going about their lives and cherishing the little spooky safe haven they have created for themselves. Until they get a new roommate who knows nothing of the monster world or what he's gotten himself into. Read the whole thing on ao3 here.
Roman would be the first to admit that his current situation was a little...strange. He had somehow ended up living with a married couple, but mostly...he found he didn’t mind it. The Doc was a little intimidating, but he seemed to always be at work so Roman rarely saw him. Patton was around much more often, but Patton was an absolute delight. Hell, Patton packed him lunches with good luck notes for audtion days. Roman was absolutely feeling spoiled, even if he assured the other that he didn’t have to do such things. It was an odd thing to think about his new roommates, but he felt like he had found a place he could feel welcomed in for more than just what he was, but rather for who he was.
His move-in day had gone great, but the second day Logan had given him the list of rules. Like...a physical list so he wouldn’t forget. The basement is locked because there’s nothing down there he needs to see. The shed is off limits because apparently Logan keeps some sorta hobby shit in there that’s super valuable. He was also warned about all the weird noises the house could make on account of its age. Roman found out very quickly that the house did make a lot of spooky noises, almost like it was haunted. Which was ridiculous because he knew ghosts weren’t real so that should be a calming thought. Right? It mostly reminded him of all the weird noses that would ring out back home, usually caused by his brother’s antics. Though, thinking of home was something Roman tried not to do too often.
He had his new home now! Someplace he was okay with coming back to after a long shift at the diner, Thai takeout in hand since Patton had said he wouldn’t be home to make dinner tonight. Apparently it was date night for him and Logan. Roman was more than okay with alone time. He had evening plans to watch a few Disney movies, loudly sing along to every song, and maybe search for a few auditions somewhere in between. He was humming to himself, digging his key out of his jacket pocket and turning it in the lock, flipping on a few lights once inside. The sound of the TV could be heard from the living room...Patton must have forgotten to turn it off before he left. Roman of course recognized the sounds of the Nightmare Before Christmas, it was a classic. Guess he was starting his marathon there.
He had planned to change into some pajamas before settling for the night but the sound of Jack Skellington singing about Christmas was far too tempting to ignore, so he took his takeout to the living room, pausing in shock at what he saw. There was someone sitting on the couch. Someone he had never seen before. The guy couldn’t have been much younger than Roman himself, but he paid the other no attention, eyes focused on the screen as he mouthed the lyrics to himself. He was pale as a ghost with heavy dark shadows under his eyes and stringy bangs that hung down in his face. Eventually he did spare Roman a glance, a confused look crossing his face when he realized Roman was staring right at him.
“Can you-” the guy started, backing into the couch for a second. Roman could have sworn he went through the cushions.
Roman didn’t get a chance to hear the rest of what the guy was gonna say because he dropped his takeout on the floor and went right back out the front door, dialing Patton’s number on his phone. Patton didn’t pick up the first three calls so he tried Logan, knowing the more serious man was always checking his phone in case the hospital called. Logan picked up on the second ring.
“Roman? Do you need something?” he asked, the sounds of a restaurant humming in the background.
“A guy- on the couch-,” Roman started, glancing back at the door in case this intruder decided to follow him and off him. Not that he couldn’t take the skinny guy in a fight, but who knew what dangers the other guy held.
“There was a guy on our couch?” Logan asked, his tone ever so slightly confused. Patton could be heard in the background saying hi.
“I came home from work and this really pale guy was just sitting on the couch watching the TV and then he looked at me all weird and I left.”
“Pale...oh my,” Logan said. “Hold on, Roman. I’m going to call you back in a few minutes, I’m being asked to stop using my phone in the restaurant. You aren’t in any danger, I assure you.”
Roman wasn’t too convinced, but before he could protest Logan had hung up. He glanced back at the front door with a frown before moving to the backyard, sitting on the bench by Patton’s garden. A few minutes later his phone rang again and he saw Logan’s contact name on the screen.
“So? You know the guy?” he asked.
“Yes. That’s Virgil. He’s another roommate, but he’s been away for a long time and hadn’t said when he was coming back. I suppose he wanted to surprise us. I’m terribly sorry for any confusion,” Logan replied. “Patton and I will be on our way home as soon as I pay the check.”
“Right, okay,” Roman said. “Should I go back inside?”
“There’s no reason for you not to. We’ll see you soon.”
With that Logan hung up again and Roman frowned into the lettuce bed before getting up off the bench. Well, so much for his nice happy evening alone. He made his way back inside, the other guy - Virgil - was no longer on the couch. His takeout was still on the floor so he picked that up and went to the kitchen to see if anything could be salvaged. He was untying the bag on the counter when he saw the reflection of another person behind him in the window.
“Holy- you’re quite silent, aren’t you?” Roman gasped, turning around to face the other.
“Yeah...I guess you could say that,” Virgil replied, looking at him like he was some sort of anomaly.
“Well I do apologize for our first meeting being..that. I’m Roman.”
“Yeah, I know,” Virgil said, pausing. “I mean, uh...Pat’s told me about you. He said you’re loud.”
“He did…?” Roman asked, having heard no such complaint from Patton himself. “Him and Logan will be home soon.”
“Good. I’m going to my room,” Virgil said, turning around to leave.
“And where is that?”
“The attic.”
Ah, yes. The attic. Another one of the places on the list that Roman wasn’t supposed to snoop around. He saw Virgil walk towards the hall where the door covering the staircase to the attic was but he didn’t hear the door open. Odd. Regardless of the weird feeling the other roommate gave him, his stomach growling was far more prominent, and he was happy to see none of his food spilled when he had dropped it. Roman took a seat at the breakfast table, happy to hear the door open and see Patton and Logan walk in.
“Roman! So sorry for the spook, are you alright?” Patton asked, immediately rushing forward for a hug. Patton was fond of hugs and Roman happily stood to give him one.
“Where is Virgil?” Logan asked, looking around the space.
“He went up to the attic,” Roman answered, pulling out of Patton’s grip. “He’s a little...uh…”
“Awesome?” Patton finished, watching Logan walk off towards the attic door.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Sorry we didn’t mention him sooner. We didn’t think it was going to be an issue,” Patton apologized, taking a seat at the breakfast table and taking off his cardigan.
“Not to worry, Padre. Just a little fright to get the blood pumping,” Roman waved it off, going back to his lukewarm food.
“I know it doesn’t go too well with noodles, but I’m in the mood for some coco. D’you want a mug?”
“I would love one. I think I’m pretty much done with these anyway,” Roman smiled, putting the lid back on the takeout container.
Patton made him his coco as he stuck his leftovers in the fridge to be heated up next time he wanted Thai food. Logan came down from the attic and assured him that everything was handled and that Virgil was back to stay for now. He then gave Patton a kiss on the cheek and retreated back to the basement where apparently he had very important work to do.
“So...any other secret roommates I should know about?” Roman asked, plucking a marshmallow out of the mug before it could sink into the coco.
“Nope! Just the one...and he isn’t much of a people person,” Patton assured.
Roman finished his coco, conversing with Patton about idle things like work and how he’s looking for auditions again and the other man’s fear of spiders. Eventually he couldn’t hold back his yawn and headed back up to his room thinking once again how strange everything was around here. Strange...but good.
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artisticallygay · 4 years
Note
For the drabble prompt prinxiety and at last I see the light (its a line from a song in tangled by the way) And of course do this only if you want to And have fun!
"And at last I see the light," Roman sung along quietly, unlike usual when any other time the creative side would be singing the lyrics loud enough for everyone in the mind palace to hear, "and it's like the fog has lifted..." He had his hands gently running through Virgil's hair, the worrisome side's head rested in his lap, who kept glancing every now and then between Roman and the movie.
Tonight was supposed to be movie night with everyone but everything had been very...tense between the sides, Roman and Virgil in particular not wanting to be around the others ever since the mess of choosing between the callback and wedding and the fallout caused by it.
So the two were holding their own little movie night in Roman's room, curled up together on a bed with snacks and blankets galore. Tangled had been Roman's choice which wasn't much of Virgil's tastes but considering what happened last time the prince interacted with the sides, Virgil let his boyfriend have the first movie pick.
"All at once, everything is different, now that I see you..."
Roman finished off the sing along with a whisper and sigh, giving Virgil the push to ask Roman if he was okay.
"Are you feeling okay babe?" Virgil asked with a small tilt of his head. The creative side looked down at Virgil a bit too quickly, seeming to have been snapped out of a trance.
He gave a little too big of a smile and answered, "I'm feeling fine, my love, this movie just always gets to me at this part." He sighed wistfully. "The moment where you see in their eyes that Flynn and Rapunzel have become each other's new dream is so wonderfully poetic."
"Please don't lie to me princey," Virgil huffed. Roman's smile faltered then fell. "We've seen this movie hundreds of times together, we both know you're so much more energetic with every single viewing."
"I really don't want to talk about it Virgil," Roman muttered, his expression growing dark and any happiness visibly starting to drain from him. "This is all gonna blow over or whatever eventually anyway, so it doesn't matter."
"Yes it does matter, especially to me." Virgil sat up and faced Roman, taking hold of his boyfriend's hand into his own. "You can keep your feelings from the others if you want and you have every right considering how badly things went after Thomas got back from the wedding. But you gotta at least talk to me, I want to be here for you but I can't if you don't let me know. I'm not entirely ignorant about your feelings anyway, I can pick up on everyone's anxieties and yours have been horrible and you just won't tell me." Virgil's hands were starting to shake a little but he tried to keep himself still as much as possible for Roman's sake.
There was a lot of hesitation before the creative side could bring himself to respond. "I-...I'm not Thomas' hero Virgil," Roman whispered, only able to stare at his and Virgil's tangled hands. "And I don't know how long it's been since I've stopped being his hero and God I'm scared Virgil." Roman let out a shaky breath. "What am I supposed to be if I'm not a hero Virgil?"
"I'm so sorry Roman. Thomas is an adult now and has been for a long time, the world isn't the same black and white one that he grew up believing in. But you know that that isn't so bad, if you still had some belief in those views, you wouldn't be dating me or have even accepted me in the first place. "He let go of one of Roman's hands to tilt up his face and gave the prince a gentle smile. "And to be honest, no matter what happens, you will at least be my hero, sweetheart. Who gives a fuck about what the others think anyway?"
Tears began to fall immediately and Roman rushed forward to hide his face and his sobs in Virgil's chest. Virgil's stomach twisted from seeing his boyfriend so worn down and a bitterness began to spark towards the rest of the sides. They may not have meant for this to happen, but that didn't mean they were faultless.
Virgil didn't focus on that though. Right now, his boyfriend needed him and damn it, he was gonna be there for Roman as much as he could.
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starring-movies · 4 years
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Killing Eve: Episode Analysis
*SPOILERS*
Season 3, Episode 2 - Management Sucks
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The episode begins with Eve, who is attending Kenny’s funeral. While she’s standing outside trying to have a smoke, she sees a bus with an advert on it saying “worry, grief, regret, let it all go...”, which is exactly what Eve needs to, and is trying to do - yet there is something, or more accurately someone, who she just can’t manage to let go of.
While Eve is standing outside, the song ‘Boy And Girl’ by Unloved plays through the scene. The lyrics that can be heard are:
If I was old,
When I was young,
What I’d known,
I’d do,
But I'm old,
And not so young,
But still I cry,
For you,
But what’s left to say,
Except that time heals all,
So I will wait,
And wait”
The lyrics of the song exhibit how Eve is reflecting on her life and her experiences, as well as how Kenny has died when he still “was young”. She is also thinking about the tragedies she has endured and how she hopes that “time heals all” she has endured, but it hasn’t happened yet so she “will wait and wait”.
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This episode is also one of two episodes in Season 3, where the title credits are different. We get the cast’s names in black drops on a red background; the second instance where this is used is in S3E7, and the background is Green for that one. The red and green backgrounds are a nod to the outfits that Eve (green) and Villanelle (red) wore in the Season 2 finale, in Rome. The red for Villanelle is used in this episode, because it focuses on her character development the most.
In this episode, Villanelle starts trying to climb up the ladder of The Twelve through a managerial assignment, and it is this episode that is the beginning of the end for Villanelle. It is in this episode where she starts on a path that leads to her realisation of her own lack of freedom, and her discontentment in working for The Twelve - as she later realises that she has been manipulated by Dasha and Hélène (when she’s made a keeper and it doesn’t turn out to be what she was promised).
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When Carolyn tries to return to work, before entering a meeting, Mo says “your blouse is, erm...”. This seems like an insignificant, passing comment, but Carolyn is a woman who is always immaculately dressed. Carolyn’s state of dress usually reflects the internal organisation and focus that she has in her work and personal life. So Carolyn’s blouse being untidy shows us how, although she is trying to do her job and be at work physically, she is not as mentally focused as she usually is.
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Later on Carolyn goes to visit Eve at the Korean restaurant she works at, and when Eve comes to meet with her, she starts to drink a can of coke; which is a reference back to S1E2, when Carolyn is showing Eve the Trafalgar office and tells her “I once saw a rat drink from a can of coke there”. In the scene in S1E2, Carolyn is recruiting Eve to work for her, to try and track down Villanelle. Similarly in this scene, Carolyn is once again trying to get Eve to start working for her again; except unlike in Season 1, Eve has lost all the enthusiasm she once had for searching for Villanelle, and this time she turns Carolyn down.
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After Carolyn has told Eve “she’s back, Eve, and she’s working”, a song (presumably another unreleased Unloved song) almost perfect for the scene plays. The lyrics of the song that can be heard are:
“Two minds,
What’s this,
Why do I care,
It’s over,
It’s done,
Yet it’s still there,
I don’t wanna go there,
I’ve been there before,
And I already know how it ends”
This song perfectly encapsulates what is running through Eve’s mind, and although Eve is saying nothing herself, the song is saying exactly what she’s thinking. Eve is in “two minds” about being reminded of Villanelle and being told that she’s working again. She also questions herself as to why she does “care”, as it is “over” and “done” between the two of them. However, like the song says, Eve knows “it’s still there”. She is obviously, and visibly, effected by the news about Villanelle; and despite the fact that she’s been “there before” with her and “already knows how it ends”, there’s still something so strong there that won’t allow her let her let go of Villanelle.
The song is an ideal choice, especially paired with the shot of Eve’s reflection being mirrored - showing us visually the “two minds” that Eve is in regarding her feelings for Villanelle.
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Moving on, we see Villanelle being introduced to Felix and from their conversation we can see that Villanelle still thinks about Eve and is still hurt by what happened in Rome. When Felix is telling her about his boyfriend, he says “when you love somebody and they don’t love you back, it’s worse than, it’s worse than... I don’t know what its worse than, it’s really” and then Villanelle finishes his sentence by saying “shit”. Villanelle is clearly thinking about Eve when she says this, as her profession of her love for Eve was rejected in Rome, and we can see she’s visibly upset at thinking about this.
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When Carolyn meets with Audrey, to ask her about Kenny, she tells Carolyn that Kenny used to sing on the toilet. This is why in S2E3 Kenny says to Eve “you weren’t listening were you?”, when he comes out of the toilets. At the end of their conversation, when Carolyn’s talking about grieving, she tells Audrey about how the “ancient celts used to mourn their loved ones with wailing and shrieking, such a public ritual for them, they weren’t embarrassed about it in the least, don’t be embarrassed, will you”. Audrey doesn’t seem like she’s embarrassed about grieving for Kenny at all, especially since she was seen crying in the toilets at Kenny’s funeral, so the comment that Carolyn makes is made because she is actually the one who feels embarrassed about grieving publicly.
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When Mo finds Carolyn sitting in her car in MI6’s car park, she is eating her sandwiches and listening to ‘Dido’s Lament’ by Henry Purcell, from the opera ‘Dido and Aeneas’. Dido is a character from Virgil’s ‘Aeneid’, who dramatically kills herself by setting herself on fire when her lover, Aeneas, leaves her to sail back to his homeland. Carolyn is contrasted with Dido, as she doesn’t show her grief in such an over-the-top way as Dido does - in Carolyn’s opinion, Dido is comparable with Geraldine, both of whom are comparable to the Celts who “weren’t embarrassed about it [public mourning] in the least” (but Carolyn isn’t like them and she is embarrassed).
Carolyn also comments to Mo, “what a way to go, what a terribly death. Dido, abandoned by Aeneas, dies of grief”. Although Carolyn may not relate to Dido’s public display of her grief, she does relate deeply to (and is going through) the same intensity of grief that Dido felt.
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At the end of the episode, when Konstantin goes to visit Villanelle at her new apartment in Barcelona, he says “look, now you are back with The Twelve, especially now, you have to know you're not safe...”, Villanelle interrupts him by saying “I’m fine” and he continues to tell her “you think you’re in control, but you’re not”.
Konstantin was most likely trying to warn Villanelle that Dasha and The Twelve were manipulating her, and he already knew they weren’t going to make her a keeper, like she asked for. We can see that (just as Konstantin goes on to tell Villanelle “you know I care about you”), that he does seem to genuinely care about her; as he was trying to warn her about what she was getting into, but she couldn’t focus on anything he had told her because the news that Eve was alive took the forefront in her mind.
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Just like the stylistic choice to use the ‘Two Minds’ song and a mirrored shot, for Eve’s reaction to the news about Villanelle; a Dutch Angle shot is used for Villanelle’s reaction to the news that Eve is actually alive. The Dutch Angle is a stylistic choice that is often used to reflect disorientation or an unsettled feeling.
The Dutch Angle, paired with the blurring of Konstantin in the background, similarly reflects Villanelle’s disorientation and surprise at finding out Eve, who she still has deep feelings for and thought she had killed, is actually alive.
You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-
First Introduction to Villanelle
First Introduction to Eve
S1, E1 - Nice Face
S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later
S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?
S1, E4 - Sorry Baby
S1, E5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms
S1, E6 - Take Me to the Hole!
S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free
S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired
S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?
S2, E2 - Nice and Neat
S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar
S2, E4 - Desperate Times
S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later
S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary!
S2, E7 - Wide Awake
S2, E8 - You’re Mine
S3, E1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey
S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits
S3, E4 - Still Got It
S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]
S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]
S3, E6 - End of Game
S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster
S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]
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snowdice · 4 years
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Gaps in His Files (Part 7) [Relabeled; Refiled Series]
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Relationships: Logan/Patton
Characters:
Main: Logan, Patton
Appear: Remy, Virgil (but only in the epilogue)
Summary:
Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.
When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?
This is set 25 years before Sometimes Labels Fail though it’s story is completely independent of it and it is not necessary to read that one first.
Notes: Superhero AU, memory loss, past child abuse, past child neglect, unhealthy ideas about ones place in relationships, emotional suppression, self-deprecating thoughts, medical procedures mentioned, very brief unhealthy views of sex
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
After Logan finished eating, Patton showed him his office. First, he was given his personal and work files which were familiar in organizational structure even if they had years’ worth of new information in them and his work files had a new subfolder for teaching instead of being purely for schoolwork. Yet, the thing that most interested Logan was the new file designation which Patton retrieved for him by finding a key in a hidden desk drawer compartment and using it to open a secret compartment in the wall. The files there were red and completely new to Logan. Thankfully, they still had quite a bit of structure that he was able to pick up quickly and there were easy to read tables of contents with understandable subsection titles.
He flipped curiously through the first few. They reflected the story Patton had told him earlier in content as well as form. The beginning files were either blue for work or plain white since his foray into superherodom had started from an academic source.
Though he had not known Logan at the time by his own admission, Patton’s knowledge of his early days of being a superhero were perfectly accurate based on the files. That combined with his knowledge about where the files were in the first place, stroked Logan’s curiosity regarding the man even more. Logan was not a trusting person, at least he had not been at 18, and he imagined not much had changed in the last 10 years. So, he had to wonder what it was about Patton that had made him willing to share so much about his life and clearly heavily protected aspects of his life at that. He did not imagine he would share his exploits as a hero with just anyone.
And, if it were just his exploits as a hero, perhaps he would have even understood that. It was good to have an ally, especially one with useful skills such as a doctor. Yet, Patton’s knowledge went deeper than even that to things more personal, ones not in these files or any of his others. He knew things about Logan: his favorite color, why he prefers some fabrics over others, and stories that had never left his lips in his current memories.
Why? He had to wonder. What made this person so different than everyone else?
Certainly, he could see the appeal of him as a romantic partner in the theoretical sense.
He was a doctor which was useful considering Logan’s superhero status likely led to physical injuries sometimes. In addition, that was a well-paying, respectable job, though it did have an unpredictable work schedule. Achievement in that field spoke of enough intellect to be on par with Logan even if they were in different areas.
He was also clearly adequately skilled in other things. He had managed to find Logan and get him back to his apartment and seemed to have enough emotional control to do what was necessary in the situation.
This was someone he imagined his parents would have likely expected for him as a romantic partner (if they expected anything at all). Though, Logan did have to worry that if they were both not particularly emotionally expressive then there may not be a good balance in the relationship.
Logan watched as he flipped through one of his personal files to get a picture from his college graduation to show him with practiced ease. He was comfortable around Logan’s organizational system, he noted. That was something no one had ever bothered to be before. Most people either tolerated or scorned the way he kept his files, but Patton knew his way around it almost as well as Logan himself, better in fact when it came to the new red files, fingers always flipping to the correct pages in seconds when Logan asked questions.
It was nice to have someone care enough to learn it.
It felt as though something shifted marginally inside his chest at the thought of someone being patient enough to learn how Logan organized his life. To do so was to basically learn how Logan’s mind worked. He… hadn’t known that was something he might want.
Oh.
That, he suddenly knew with clarity, that was why. Or at least part of why. It had to be.
“So,” Patton broached suddenly, likely catching him staring and wonder why, “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”
Logan blinked at him. “You already know me. Better than I do myself at the moment.”
“Sure, but I’ve only known versions of you that I’ve known.”
“Yes. That is typically how reality works.”
“Well not today,” he pointed out and… fair point. “Plus, maybe you’ll start to remember more if you start talking about yourself. Like when you’re trying to remember the title of a song so you sing the lyrics you know until you get to the point where they use the title in the song.”
Logan considered that. “That sounds like a rational strategy to try. What should I talk about?”
“Well, I know a lot about the events that happened in your life, but not really what you thought about them at the time. What are things you like and dislike in your life right now. You know,” he paused, “what are things you find annoying? Stuff like that.”
“I like coffee,” Logan said after a moment of consideration, “and school. Libraries. I like order and schedules and it makes me uncomfortable when things don’t go to plan. I don’t like impromptu things or eating outside. I don’t really like when people are overly emotional or when they cry mostly because I never know how to respond. I don’t like my English teacher because she once had a mental breakdown crying about a dream she had for 30 minutes when a student asked her if she’d graded our papers. Also, she was homophobic. I like math and science and my parents. Though, I dislike when they insist, I try to go out and “have fun.” I especially disliked when they set me up with a date for the homecoming. When I said I didn’t want to go especially with a girl they set me up with a boy for the next dance which was… nice as they attempted to listen to me, but they entirely missed the point. I dislike messes. I like jam. I want to major in math and physics and get my PhD in at least one… that seemed to work out. My calculus teacher was my favorite even though everyone else seemed to resent her, but we also mostly all passed the advanced placement test, so I think it was worth it. Also, she was kind.”
“You had a homophobic English teacher?” Patton asked.
“Ah, yes, did I never mention?” Logan asked. “She made her views known to a boy in the year below me and got fired a month ago.”
“You never told me about that.”
“Perhaps I decided she was no longer worth dwelling on. The man who took her place seems adequate, though I am not in his class. I also like my current English teacher. She says she got her teaching degree later in life and before that used to be a cultural anthropologist. She tells us stories about different places she’s been.”
Patton smiled. “She sounds interesting,” he said.
“Yes, and it is quite an interesting course. It is an extra one beyond what I must take to graduate. We write a research paper over the course of the entire semester.” Logan paused for a long moment. “This does not seem to be doing anything.”
Patton nodded. “Okay,” he said. “That’s fine. We’ll try something else. Maybe we should have lunch first though.”
Logan was starting to feel a bit hungry. “That is a good idea.”
Want to read more? Click below!
AO3 Part 8
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Chapter 9: Before You Go
Notes: this is virg’s last night staying with ree and dee, lots of angst ahead, drinking is mentioned but nothing too intense. Also I’m only thinking of this now, but if you guys tell me if it’s one of your triggers that comes up in the story, I can tell you where it’s mentioned so you can avoid it, or give a little summary of what happened avoiding the trigger
Next Chapter: The Split (Reprise)
Word count: 1466 (not including the lyrics there’s 1278)
Find the rest of the story here
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They had one last night to spent together before Virgil would be leaving.
Pity that this was the way they spent it.
Currently, Virgil and Deceit had been at each other’s throat. “I don’t get it, Dee, why can’t you just be happy for me? I would’ve been happy for you!” Virgil shouted.
“Janus, Virgil, it’s Janus now,” he remarked, his voice steady but clearly bitter as he crossed his arms and looked away from Virgil. “Of course you’d be happy for me. You don’t want me around, you’d be glad to see me go—“
“Now you know that’s not what I mean!”
“Do I though?” Janus asked. “Do I really? Because you seemed pretty eager to leave. I can’t say I blame you, but the least you could do is be honest about what this is really about,” he added, grabbing his wine glass off the table, swirling the drink in it before sipping at it.
“What do you want me to say Janus?” Virgil said, clearly frustrated as it rested its thumb and first two fingers against their forehead for a short second, pacing a few steps before throwing back down its arm. “That I’m sorry? That I’m not leaving you because I hate you? That I still care about you guys? Face it, Jan, there’s not any words you could hear or that I could say to make it better.”
“Say you’ll stay,” Janus answered quietly, and quickly realized that was a hopeless endeavor, even if he so badly wished Virgil would. “Or at least tell me what I did to make you leave,” he added, more strongly this time, before throwing his head back and drinking the rest of what was in his glass. He’d need something stronger, he was sure.
Virgil frowned at Janus’s reaction, sighing softly and taking a seat in the spinning chair next to a nearby desk, putting their head in their hands. “You know I can’t stay...”
“Why not, Virgil? Just tell me why,” Janus begged.
“I don’t know, Janus. Maybe I just like Roman a bit too much, or Patton is just so nice, and Logan is level-headed and fun to argue with and there’s a comfort in knowing he’ll at least practically always be right—I want to be there, for something, for nothing, I don’t know. But something tells me I belong there.”
“You belong here, Virgil,” he argued quietly, turned away from the other with his shoulders hunched up, his hands gripping the table across the room. His face was red and he knew he had a few tears he had let slip, but Virgil didn’t need to see that.
Virgil sighed in response, eyes flickering across Janus’s appearance. Janus was back to wearing the gloves. He rarely did around Virgil. “Then I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” it added finally, standing up and stepping out of the room. Janus made no protest to keep the other there.
It shouldn’t blame Janus for being mad about it leaving; it already expected that. It knew it hurt him. It made its way to Ree’s room, taking a deep breath before stepping in. Ree had clearly been waiting for Virgil, even spots cleared for them to sit and talk. The rest of the room was a mess still. “Janus is mad,” it mumbled, heading over and sitting down.
“Deceit chose a name?” Ree asked, then shook her head some, that wasn’t important at the moment. “I’d expect so. Don’t let it stop you Virgil,” she offered. “I had something planned for you, I swear I did, I just... think it’s better if we forget about it though. I think it’ll just upset you before you leave, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want you to be happy,” she rambled, smiling weakly at Virgil. She went to open her mouth to speak before Virgil shook their head at her.
“No, no. I know you’ve been planning something. I wanna see it before I leave. I don’t know when the next chance I’ll get to is. I don’t know how they’ll feel about me visiting or anything... if I’m going to leave tonight, let me have the piece of mind that you got everything you wanted to out, okay?” Virgil answered, taking Ree’s hands into their own reassuringly.
“There’s too much I need to say and too much you need to hear, but I fear I’ll do nothing but hurt you,” Ree admitted quietly. It wasn’t often she left herself looking so vulnerable, especially not emotionally. It wasn’t just blurting it all out without any care; there was something more here.
Virgil gave her hands a little squeeze for reassurance. “Then lets start with what you can, okay?”
Ree mumbled an ‘alright’ and got up from her spot, heading to go grab her guitar out of the corner of the room. “Just promise not to make fun of me too much if I mess up the notes,” she joked softly, coming to sit back down. She grabbed her guitar pick off the nightstand nearby, styled by a green and black spiral. Taking a moment to make sure the guitar was tuned, she played a few notes before placing her hands correctly on the strings, pressing some fingers to a couple frets as she started.
She started to sing after taking a breath. “I fell by the wayside like everyone else. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself. Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say,” she started singing, paying close attention to her fingers. She needed to make sure she got this right, and besides, she knew she couldn’t dare to look at Virgil.
Virgil paid close attention to the words, knowing that Ree wouldn’t be wasting her last bit of time with this song if it didn’t mean anything to her. They took their moments to analyze, but it was rather hard to keep up completely as Ree continued.
“When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold, well, time can heal, but this won't,” she sang, barely glancing up and towards the side, still not daring to look at Virgil. She got a little louder as she sang the chorus, her voice wavering ever so slightly, but she made it a point to ignore it. “So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather. So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless. So, before you go...” There were a few strings played before she continued again. “Was never the right time, whenever you called, went little by little by little until there was nothing at all. Our every moment, I start to replay, but all I can think about is seeing that look on your face,” she sang softer, looking back to the actual guitar for a second before re-singing the pre-chorus as well as chorus, looking back to Virgil for a few seconds at a time, choking up every time she did so. She knew Virgil couldn’t understand a lot of it now. She’d prefer if they never did. But she knew they would, one day, and that day wouldn’t be long from now. Her voice got stronger, yet more rough as she started the bridge. “Would we be better off by now if I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we'll never know. You know, you know..” She finished by repeating the chorus, a little softer to begin, and her voice breaking on the last line, looking back at Virgil as she finished.
It was a bad idea. She couldn’t help tearing up. She quickly tossed her guitar to the side and wiped her eyes, taking a second to breathe, and flashing a smile. “Smile or you’ll cry, am I right?” she mumbled with a weak laugh, wiping her eyes again.
“I get a lot of it... I do, but did you mean every word?” Virgil asked quietly. Ree only nodded in response. Virgil said a soft, mostly breathed, ‘okay’ before pulling Ree into a hug. They didn’t make any comment as a few tears dropped onto Virgil’s sweatshirt, only hugging Ree a little tighter.
“Do me a favor, Virg? Leave late tonight, and don’t tell Jan or me. Don’t let either of us stop you, okay?” she murmured. Virgil nodded.
Virgil kept their promise, leaving late, and by the morning, Ree and Janus had already felt the regret seeping in.
Virgil was gone.
——————
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