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#Valentino is big mad
the-bitch-vel-herself · 2 months
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I honestly find it fuckin hilarious how Valentino lost his side chick to an ex-overlord alcoholic
fucking pathetic if you ask me
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batsplat · 1 month
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Chad reed on always the entourages creating the drama. I cannot believe that is what caused rosquez downfall but also given the level of Vale's celebrity and the way he carried himself, I can totally believe that it was the entourage (iPad stand I'm looking at you) that brought the end
(about reed's 2020 quotes in this) yeahhh I mean the downfall was caused by a whole bunch of factors, not just any one thing... like all great tragic narratives, it feels inevitable from a global perspective and yet thoroughly preventable in its specifics, with loads of points where you think, 'oh, if things had just gone a little bit differently'... there's this tension in how, in the end, maybe it would've always gone wrong, but a lot had to come together for it to go wrong in quite such a spectacular fashion
reed's definitely correctly identified one of the factors - the entourages, and valentino's entourage specifically. though fwiw, I did cut off the article before reed predicted the marc/fabio rivalry was headed a similar way (this was from 2020, obviously before the arm injury):
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for better or for worse, fabio has skipped the villain arc to head straight to the depressed frenchie arc
regardless of whether this rift would have happened or not, the idea that marc would have gotten a new appreciation for the situation valentino found himself in is at least an interesting one. though if anything, the rivalry with fabio would have more closely paralleled valentino's with the other aliens (new talent coming through, but with the previously dominant rider still a regular winner). now is the time marc's learning what it feels like to come back from a prolonged absence from being competitive at the highest level - and of course with a new superstar simultaneously making his debut
so yeah, anyway, tragedy, you can point to all sorts of strains and pressures and tension inherent to professional sport that were exacerbated by the personalities involved and the influence of the media and the passage of time etc etc. but never mind all that, let's get back to entourages! I know you mention everybody's favourite b-list shakespeare villain, but I'm going to basically mostly ignore him because it's well-trodden ground. yeah, it does help to have one guy who's whispering poison into your ear for a prolonged stretch of time before showing up at your motorhome doorstep with a bunch of telemetry and a dream. and yeah, there were people in valentino's entourage definitely encouraging this path to doom. but what I'm also interested in is the flip side - why nobody stopped him
I would like to submit into evidence this passage detailing the thoughts of vale's mechanic alex briggs. now briggs in this excerpt blames two groups for how things went down in 2015:
the yamaha side (specifically the press group) for not talking him down from the ledge before the presser
the crew chief and other assorted italians on the team for being too "yessy" and not standing up to him
let's briefly (for a given value of the word) focus on the first one. if you're a random yamaha pr person and you see the valentino rossi run to a press conference (given he was late) with a bunch of papers in his hands (well, he's not actually holding the papers in those gifs, but presumably somebody's got them), it's probably a tough ask to expect you to hold up the valentino rossi and ask him what exactly he's intending to do with those papers. also, is he really going to back off because you, random yamaha pr person, have asked him to please not accuse the competition of sabotage? added context is that some at yamaha were aware of what valentino thought about the race at phillip island (which we'll get to in a sec), but god knows if the pr people did. unless he confided in anyone on the yamaha side what the plan was, a lot of them would have been blindsided too - which does come back to the problem of how big a deal valentino is and how maybe you're a little more cautious about questioning what he's about to do with those papers than you would be with somebody else. it does feel like perhaps a bit too much to expect for them to have launched some last-minute intervention, or to even know what kind of intervention they could have gone for beyond low-level comedy hijinks to stop him from even getting to that room. why did nobody from yamaha place a banana skin in his path
but we do know that at least some in yamaha were aware of valentino's great big phillip island sabotage theory, because lin jarvis has very helpfully told us as much (from the post-sepang media scrum):
Q: Do you think it was a mistake for Valentino to [provoke?] Marc so much on Thursday with a very personal and hard attack? Jarvis: There are always many different ways of addressing different problems - Valentino chose to do it in that way. Perhaps that is what provoked Marc into being quite aggressive on the track. I really don't know, you need to ask Marc not me about that. Every action has a consequence. That's life. Q: And did you know before that Valentino was going to be so aggressive with Marc in the press conference? Did you know before? Did you discuss with Valentino about this decision or you didn't know until it happened? Jarvis: Personally, I was not aware of that. I was aware of Valentino's opinion of the race in Australia, but I was not aware... but I was not aware that he would - Q: Don't you think because Valentino at the end of the day is an employee of Yamaha he should discuss before with you about such an important decision, to attack a rider of another factory in such a heavy way [...]? Jarvis: You can't control every incident, everything that happens and you know, generally we have a very good [...] relation, connection with our riders, we talk to them before about things before, but anyway I think this is something Valentino felt strongly about and it was his decision and that's it.
note the use of the word "personally", which does leave the door open to others within yamaha (outside of valentino's inner circle) knowing what was going to happen. jarvis, unsurprisingly, comes down pretty firmly on the side of 'well what were we supposed to do'. given that jarvis admits he knew valentino's theory and is hardly a stranger to valentino's modus operandi - after all, he was already team boss at the time of another tense press conference in sepang eleven years prior that took place in the wake of valentino accusing a competitor of messing with him - you do have to wonder whether yamaha could not have tried a little harder to stop valentino. but again, accounting for the power of valentino's status and the power of his character, I'm personally unconvinced yamaha could've done much to convince valentino to change his mind
so then: the italians. a little bit of context - briggs started working with crew chief jerry burgess in 1994 and both of them were on mick doohan's team for all of his five 500cc titles. when doohan's injuries forced his retirement, valentino inherited his championship-winning team upon moving up to 500cc. jb was vale's very first crew chief in the premier class, and him as well as briggs have been working with vale since december 1999. understandably, this is a very tightly-knit group. it is one that made the jump to yamaha with valentino - here's just a quick excerpt (also from oxley's valentino rossi: all his races) about briggs' thoughts on that move:
When Valentino decided to defect to Yamaha, he was determined to have his crew go with him. Only one stayed at HRC. "We first got to know about the Yamaha deal in Portugal, I think [September 2003]," Briggs continues. "I wanted to stay with JB, because I hadn't finished learning what I wanted to learn. "I remember a clandestine meeting in the car park at Phillip Island, about salaries and how everything was going to work. It was really exciting. When I very first started working with Honda the whole group was very much a team. Towards the end we felt like it started to become a bit us and them: the engineers and management, then the mechanics and the riders. They'd sort of got too big for their boots - they'd designed this wonderful bike, so it was like it had nothing to do with us. That made it easier to leave.
and also about the move to yamaha, from the 2020 barker biography of valentino:
But with his trusted crew chief Jerry Burgess and most of his other team members from the Honda garage agreeing to defect with him, Rossi had the crew he needed, not only to win but also to enjoy his racing. It was a heartening display of loyalty and something of a risk for all involved. ‘When I announced to the mechanics that I was going with Valentino they said, “I’m coming too,”’ Burgess later explained. ‘Some of those guys were leaving very secure jobs and taking a big gamble.’
the group also survived the move to ducati (obviously a deeply frustrating two years not just for the guy riding the bike) and the move back to yamaha. but then, valencia 2013, valentino announced his decision to fire jb in a press conference organised for the pair of them. his 2013 season had been deeply frustrating - yes, he had gotten a podium in his first race beating both marc and dani, but after that generally speaking he couldn't come close to matching the other aliens when healthy. he was comfortably the fourth best rider that year, scrapping and clawing his way through midfield battles and having to rely on misfortunes befalling the three title contenders to achieve his podiums and his sole victory at assen. he was considering retiring at the end of the 2014 season once his current contract expired, but wanted to try everything he could to see whether he could be competitive again against the world's very best. and so, he made the decision to roll the dice and get himself a new crew chief, the italian silvano galbusera
now I have to say, personally I have a lot of time for this decision (even if it was maybe not... uh, enacted in the most graceful of manners, given how sudden it was). I come from a sports background where a certain ruthlessness in personnel decisions is encouraged and generally praised - if something isn't working, you should have the courage to make a change, even if it's deeply uncomfortable (including on an interpersonal level). also, while it was a sudden departure, it's not like burgess was that keen on sticking around much longer (again from the same oxley book):
Valentino ended his collaboration very suddenly at the end of 2013. Burgess was shocked but not too much, because he already knew that he was coming to the end of his own career. "When it ended for me I'd already been doing it 30-odd years and I'd told Valentino a few weeks earlier that I wasn't going to sign any more multi-year contracts. I was 60 by then, so I'd go year by year. I'd already signed a contract for 2014, but I would've thought if we hadn't had any more success by then that there wasn't much point in continuing. I felt we would win more races but I was more doubtful about championships. "I'd read enough sporting biographies to know that sportsmen change their coaches towards the end of their careers. It can give them a spike in results but it doesn't change the overall story. Looking back, Valentino's career went on longer than I expected. He enjoyed some success but no more championships and that's what you race for. Of course he was in the unique position of being able to get a factory bike until he retired. He was very special and deserved everything he got."
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which, look. again, personal bias, but to me it's reasonable to part ways with somebody who doesn't think any more titles are plausible, because at that point it's just somebody who has a very different view on your career than you do and may well not stick around for much longer anyway. also, at the end of the day, jb was wrong! valentino came extremely close to winning another title, and just because he didn't, doesn't change the fact he could have. if it had rained on the 8th of november 2015 in valencia, we might be having a very different conversation. (or if they hadn't changed the bloody qualifying format post-2012.) honestly, if the 2016 and to a lesser extent the 2017 season had gone just a little differently - a working bike in mugello here and an unbroken leg there - he could have been a genuine title threat in two more seasons. in any case, what it does show is that valentino even at the end of 2013 was still as determined as ever, was ready to engage in what was a huge gamble (given how almost all his success had come with the highly decorated jb) on the off chance he might find what it took to win again. this will not have been an easy decision for valentino. here's a write-up of the presser at valencia, that stresses how uncomfortable the occasion was, how surprising a decision it was to jb, but how publicly at least there was a lack of recriminations (which, to be fair, wouldn't be much fun to do in a shared presser):
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(you'll note that the phrasing in the presser about athletes attempting to extend their carrers by changing things up is echoed in what he says in that book interview where he adds that it doesn't change the overall story, again suggesting he didn't really believe valentino would be competitive. he also uses the same phrasing in ANOTHER interview that confirms as much, but I think you get the point.) valentino said at the time, "it was a very difficult decision for me because I have a great history with jeremy. he is not just my chief mechanic. he is like part of my family. my father in racing". this is somebody he'd been working with since age 21, somebody who is not only revered within the paddock for his work with several of the sport's greats but is also a man who valentino obviously has a close personal connection to. meeting for the first time when vale snuck into the honda pit to check out the bike he might ride next season, hitting it off immediately, countless rowdy dinners together, parties, jb and another older colleague sitting back when food fights started, watching valentino grow up, working with him throughout all his big manufacturer switches, all his successes and all his failures... as much as anything else, it's evidence of how strong vale's desire to win was, how determined he continued to be, to make this choice at this stage of his career. and jb was open to the idea (at least publicly) that it might end up being a smart call:
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the 'dirtiest' part of the whole affair is how it was actually carried out - it's not great form to tell your crew chief the day before you end up doing a press conference together to announce your choice. for whatever it's worth, this is how valentino justified the timeline:
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and lastly, which I think is the most key part, is valentino's belief. because at the end of the day, the only reason why he's doing any of this, and the only reason why what was to come was possible at all, is that he himself still thought that he could challenge for another title - as much as that belief had come under strain:
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now what this piece also goes on to say is that nobody believes this will work. nobody believes that firing jb will lead to better results. people expect that this is going to lead to his retirement, quite possibly at the end of 2014. it's worth just remembering sometimes how extraordinary valentino's return to the top of the game post-2013 really was, how it went against how we expect a rider's competitive lifecycle to work, went far beyond the longevity exhibited by any top rider before or since - all while going up against riders who are widely believed to be some of the best to ever do it. valentino beat jorge in both 2014 and 2016, and remains one of two people to outscore prime marc marquez over the course of a season. not to engage in too much rossi prop here, but sepang 2015 can't really be understood without all the frustration that led up to it, to this one golden chance, this miracle that everybody had believed to be impossible (sometimes even valentino). this wasn't supposed to be happening. it was happening. and then, so so close to the finish line, valentino could feel it slipping, slipping, slipping away
but of course, we still don't know whether changing crew chiefs is the key factor that made him competitive again. maybe he just needed a bit longer to get back into the swing of things post-ducati disaster. maybe the bikes just started to suit him better. hey, maybe it was that nifty exercise regime he'd engaged in a wee spot of espionage for so that he could pinch it off his teammate. what we can say, however, is that valentino's choice both tells us a lot about his mindset, as well as (to finally bring us back to the actual point of this post) representing a massive shift in his 'entourage'. this is what briggs is referring to in his quote - the italians. the new crew chief. the people who couldn't stand up to valentino. now obviously, as mentioned above briggs had worked with jb for the better part of twenty years and can hardly be considered a neutral party. here were briggs' feelings on the matter (yeah it's from the same oxley book again, I got it new for eighteen quid which is a very generous price, would recommend):
When JB was out at the end of 2013 it was like losing my mechanic dad. I remember being in the garage when we found out about it. Then they arranged a kind of farewell, a kind of hodgepodge farewell. It was terrible, I didn't like any of it. I was just hiding behind one of the bikes in the garage, crying, going, what's going on here? It didn't seem right to me. I think maybe Valentino thought he would get faster again sooner, but I think it took at least a year to get the taste of the Ducati out of his mouth. I think if he'd stayed with JB we would've won the championship in 2015.
which. look. we don't have time to unpack all that. but. the point is that obviously briggs wasn't exactly a massive fan of the change within valentino's team, and his comments about the 2015 season do have to be read with that in mind. as to whether vale really would have done better in 2015 with jb at his side, your guess is as good as mine. all that being said, a part of me wonders how much losing that grounding presence enabled valentino's late-2015 spiral. maybe not in terms of talking valentino out of the great big fluctuating lap times treachery theory - to state the obvious, valentino got himself involved in plenty of drama during jb's time as a crew chief. jb himself occasionally helped add fuel to the fire in those feuds, like his infamous comment about how he would be able to fix the ducati's issues in 80 seconds that casey still brings up every three business days (the comments were poorly phrased but also somewhat taken out of context, in that jb was talking about a specific set-up problem). he's generally been pretty happy to be forthright about valentino's rivals, for instance this about casey:
My feeling at the time was that Casey probably only had one game plan, and having watched Casey over the years, he doesn't have a plan B. If it doesn't go his way from the outset, it's probably one of the weaknesses that he had through the youth that he had, through the lack of experience that he had. That's not a criticism of him per se, he was still only 22 at the time.
(this is about laguna seca 2008 and how he helped valentino win that race, including in plotting out vale's rather ruthless tactics - which casey was of course not exactly a fan of.) or these. uh. harsh comments about dani from spring 2010:
Q: Is that atmosphere or track knowledge? Is it like the Spanish finding something extra at the racetracks in Spain? JB: Well, therein we show the weakness, don't we? If you can get up on that weekend, on the technical racetracks of Spain, why can't you get up on the technical racetracks like Australia, where the Italians do? Lorenzo is a guy who will and does. Stoner has been able to get up on tracks all over the world. Unfortunately, Dani Pedrosa's into his 6th year in MotoGP, and he's won 8 races, Jorge Lorenzo's two months into his 3rd and he's won 6. It's night and day between those two, is the way I see it. Dani's an extremely fast rider, but a shockingly poor racer. Q: Were you surprised at Jerez [2010] when Pedrosa fought back when Lorenzo passed him? JB: When did Dani fight back? With two laps to go, and he didn't even get close enough to try to come back. Dani has never been a fighter in races, he's a lovely kid, don't get me wrong, but you can see that Lorenzo, having Pedrosa in front of him, it was never going to be the way he was going to finish that race. He was going to finish on the ground or he was going to finish in front of Pedrosa. That's the sort of race that we want, we had that with Biaggi and Valentino, and from history with Schwantz and Rainey. All the good riders have always had somebody they have had to put the target on the back of. It was Doohan and Gardner, and Doohan won that battle hands down, and I think Jorge Lorenzo's going to win this battle [with Pedrosa] hands down.
kind of a dick! so his attitude to valentino being valentino has generally been a) well having enemies is good, actually, with an added slice of b) good luck to his enemies :) - see also this quote (from the barker biography) in the context of the gibernau rivalry:
And that made Rossi even more dangerous, as Jerry Burgess pointed out: ‘Valentino is the sort of rider I wouldn’t want to get angry. He can take you apart on the track.’
so yes, jb is also perfectly brutal in his own right, as you presumably have to be to work alongside valentino so closely for so long. he is, however, also somebody valentino has a massive amount of respect for, somebody who helped turn him into a legend and is responsible for a lot of vale's success - not least, of course, in the pivotal move to yamaha. he was replaced by a man of a far far lesser stature in the sport, one who presumably would have been grateful to valentino for the biggest job he was ever going to get. if briggs is right and there was a shift in valentino in 2015, surrounded as he was by italians (derogatory) who could not stand up to him, who allowed valentino to insist on war and peace on the pit boards, to focus more and more on things that had nothing to do with riding... it would be going a little too far to say that valentino was missing an adult in the room given he was, in fact, in his thirties and should have been capable of being that adult. and who knows what jb would have said or thought or done about the great big childhood hero deception theory. but sepang 2015 was the culmination of a lot of things, including a pressure cooker of a season that grew more and more tense and put more and more stress on everyone involved - perhaps for none more so than valentino. maybe, just maybe, if he'd had somebody around him with fifteen years of experience in handling him, who could have just occasionally told him to knock it off, to concentrate on the racing, to keep things simple (always jb's defining philosophy), to maybe not get so wrapped up in the great big spanish collusion theory...
or maybe it wouldn't have mattered! maybe we're getting cause and effect all wrong here; maybe valentino was deliberately fashioning his entourage into one that was only going to give him positive feedback. maybe he would have just stopped listening to jb, maybe the very decision to fire jb makes it clear he was no longer interested in what jb had to say. it's a tragedy, after all! maybe it was always going to go like this. maybe it was always going to end like this
speaking of entourages, marc's manager played a bit of a cameo role in fanning the flames just a little further (article from marca, 26/10/2015):
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alzamora obviously will be somebody valentino is familiar with, having raced him in 125cc and also having just coexisted in the paddock over the years. valentino could of course be lying, but idk, why would he? he's already made his case by this point, and what if alzamora were to contradict him? if it's true and this conversation did happen, you do have to say it's a spectacularly unhelpful intervention from alzamora. even if marc was mad at valentino, why the hell are you telling valentino this AFTER sepang 2015? what's the plan here buddy
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^ 1999 world champions: alzamora in 125cc, vale in 250cc and alex criville in 500cc. people think motogp lore is complicated but if you know like, five guys, you're set for about twenty years of drama
which does get to the heart of the matter - a lot of these people have big egos and their own agendas and they love to run their mouths. they like talking a big game and getting involved in things they really shouldn't be getting involved in. is reed right that these people in the riders' entourages 'created the drama'? well, no, I think the two men at the centre of this particular tragedy were plenty capable of doing that themselves. nevertheless, you can point to how professional sports (and motogp in particular) forces you to rely heavily on a small group of people to keep you sane at the centre of the storm, and the risks that can emerge when that small group collectively unmoors itself from reality. you can point to the perils of fame, both in making your reliance on your inner circle so unnegotiable as well as in providing you with the status and power and ego to ignore anyone who might wish to change your mind. you can point to specific figures in this story who managed to incite the conflict between the two of them, as well as how the pressure cooker competitive environment they were operating within helped set up the ultimate catastrophe. you can point to how valentino lacked anyone with the power to stop him - both in the direct sense of forcing him to reconsider and the indirect sense of commanding his respect enough to make him see sense. maybe, just like in 2004, valentino had simply been "looking for an excuse" and he was always headed down this path. or maybe if somebody had just held him back a little that year, kept him focused on his riding, maybe if the right person had intervened at the right time...
maybe, maybe, maybe. that's why it's a tragedy
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iguanastew · 2 years
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My 30 favorite CN shows
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deadghosy · 3 months
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Can you do more Hazbin Hotel x enderman reader? I'm obsessed with it. I love the idea.
Credit to the person who made the art, this is just how I imagine Enderman!reader to look like as a human. 🦆✨
MORE HAZBIN HOTEL X ENDERMAN! READER IMAGINES/HEACANNONS
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imagine how reader is when they get pissed…they would just straight up punching shit just like the Enderman hits you in Minecraft 😭
I Imagine Charlie trying to make you do a eye contest with Alastor only for you to start tweaking and punch Alastor into a wall as Alastor only gives up a thumbs up while you sweatdrop putting on your blindfold as you try to pull out Alastor from the wall
I headcannon reader to always pat everyone’s head when they are at their full height. But at 6’5 they just pat their back like “good job buddy😐✨”
Imagine Lucifer and you wearing matching shirts that say, “if lost return to big boy” as your shirt says “I lost big boy”
Headcannon that Angel is your cuddle buddy because he likes how your arm is basically a pillow for you. And husk is your second cuddle buddy because of his fur and you like to pet him.
I imagine Angel trying to make you wear pink only for it to turn black when it fits your body. Angel gave you a “🤨 are you fuckin serious?” Look as you just shrugged with a “😐” face. I mean shit, if it fits. It fits.
I headcannon Enderman!Reader’s suit to be like the art but instead of those black things on it. It’s just slight purple sparkles on it to represent the purple pixels around them.
But definitely their second fit is a black vest and a white dress shirt with black slacks and black dress shoes. 🤨☝🏾 W FIT YOU GOTTA ADMIT!
Yk how Angel made that Snapchat post about you and you got death threats? Yeah well Valentino was the reason as he got mad that Angel “wasn’t paying” you as you were just working on the hotel
I imagine Enderman! Reader to be black coded just like how the art is above as the reader’s hair is always in dreads, cornrows, and twists. But never in an Afro state as it takes time to get the hair nice and soft (coming from a black writer….it literally takes an hour…)
I imagine you once teleported during your cuddle session between husk and angel. They were so confused they even searched your room only to find out you teleported on the top roof of the hotel during your sleep.
I imagine Valentino at least trying to ambush you to see why Angel is so happy to come to the hotel to see you again. Only for you to teleport out of his view every second. And the moth dude is like “shit! He’s onto me…” but really you are just bored asf and need some fresh air from the hotel air.
I can see nifty just minding her business when you lifted her up and croaked softly petting her head and sitting her down.
I headcannon Enderman! Reader’s room to be built from those block in the end so reader can feel the presence of his home in the hotel💗🦆
I imagine Velvette actually getting able to like post you on her fashion account as a mysterious person with your blindfolded looks. The girls dig for guys who seem mysterious.
Imagine Lucifer and you making each other building hobbies, like he makes you build him a duck as he makes you a sleeping mask just incase you don’t want to stare at someone’s face without your blindfold.
Headcannon on how fat nuggets like to cuddle against reader’s legs as reader was making a bed for fat nuggets to have a heater installed if the pig is cold.
Like…bro IMAGINE READER BENG SO PISSED THEY SUMMON THE MOTHER OF ALL…THE GUARDIAN OF THE END…THE ENDER DRAGONNN (dun x3 dramatically) maybe they would summon that during the battle between the angels and absolutely destroy their asses
I headcannon Angel once seen your mouth glowing purple when you unhinged your jaw to screech. He definitely asked before checking out your mouth which he could see in the back was glowing.
Since I headcannon enderman! Reader is black coded. They have a bonnet that was shipped from Velvette as they put it on and felt more comfortable sleeping ‼️💗
Who would be the first one to respond to you calling them: Lucifer, Charlie, Angel dust, husk, nifty, Alastor. And specifically in that order 🦆
I headcannon for Vox to try to always have you on his night show so he can show off his new “guest” being a new specie of demons.
I imagine sinners asking what ring (7 deadly sins) you came from and you are just like. “The end….i came from the end..” and now they are more confused than you when they asked where you came from
I headcannon reader’s nickemame is like, “ENDY, tall one, handsome, [actual nickname], weirdo, cutie, dad, fucker, bestie.” You can imagine who called you who which is kinda obvious…
I imagine Adam to make a lot jokes about you saying how freaky you are and how weird you are for not liking eye contact without your blindfold as you just stand there like “what’s for dinner…😐”
I can see you showing the egg boiz a picture of a ender dragon egg making them think they can have someone like them but also just like you
I can see you just standing there as everyone argues in the court because Charlie wanted you there since you don’t seem like a demon or angel. She tried to get answers but no one knew what you were.
Imagine modern au! Angel dust and you do tiktoks….because Angel dust forced you to be in his tiktoks as the others just watch trying to enjoy their summer vacation
I can see Adam hating how you aren’t pressed about what he says about you as you just stand there ignoring him.
Imagine you being sick and everyone stopping to make sure you are okay. (except for Alastor as he knows you will be better soon) Like the whole crew just starts to baby you and try to fix things you can fix but only fail.
Imagine reader with a baby ender dragon as a pet as reader whistle for the dragon to land on their shoulder or appear more bigger for it to protect you and the crew
I headcannon reader’s singing voice to sound decent with a little bit of deepness in it to mask out some things.
I imagine your full form if you were a demon or angel obviously an ender dragon lol 🦆
Imagine Pentious just pure on slithering around your body as you just sit down after a rough day of complaining by residents and their rooms.
I headcannon Lucifer to get on your shoulders to feel bigger for fun which make it seem so cartoony as one has a derpy smile while the other has a thumbs up and a “😐” face just staring blankly into people’s soul
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angelltheninth · 3 days
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Hazbin Hotel Men + Predator/Prey Kink
Pairing: Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Adam, Husk, Valentino, Vox x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, dom/sub dynamics, fear play, cnc, rough sex, predator/prey dynamic, dirty talk, name-calling, creampie, biting, marking, size differance
A/N: Trying out a bit of a different format to give you all a bit more content.
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You pressed yourself against a tree, your nails digging into the bark, breath coming up short and fast. You could see, feel the shadows against your feet even now, remind you that there's nowhere to hide. You risked peaking behind you to see if it was safe to run. As soon as you turned the static came from your other side.
"Not very smart are you, my dear?" Alastor's long tongue licked the side of your neck and made you jump at the cold sensation. "Where are you off to so quickly?"
His shadows wrapped around your body and pulled you down against the dirt. You groaned and struggled against them, against his cold arms as they grabbed your cheeks and kept your face still. "How can you get so hard from this?" You felt his long cock twitching against your inner thigh. Your legs opened for a moment and then closed just as fast.
This wasn't fun if you weren't putting up a fight. "Your fear. I find it very arousing for some reason. I've never felt this way before. So, if you would allow me to express my deepest thanks." Alastor's sinister laugh sent shivers down your entire body. As he pushed his cock into your pussy you couldn't quite relax under him, seeing his radio dial eyes tick and tick with each thrust. "I can hear your heart. It beats only for me, for what I do to you. I want it for myself, I want you for myself, always."
Alastor's pulled his cock out and waited o hear your heart beating faster. That was a good rhythm to fuck you to he decided. The rhythm of fear and lust that you feel for him.
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The house you were in felt like royalty was living there, but not the kind one would want to wine and dine with. Lucifer was the kind that liked to chase you through the empty halls, the sound of his jolly laughter and wings flapping close behind you. "Is this all you're got sweetheart, I expected a bit more from my future wife."
"Then maybe you should look for someone else." Your suggestion got you punned against the nearest walls, legs forced open and his hands holwing your wrists. "Why hide us? Are you ashamed of me, Luci?"
"Ashamed of you? Never." Even in his most horny Lucifer found himself cherishing you. He was careful not to scratch you with his horns as he kissed the side of your neck. "I don't want anyone to intrude on this moment. I don't want anyone else to see you like this. It's selfish but I've already committed enough sin as it is."
He didn't care about sinning if sinning meant feeling your sweet pussy around his dick. "Then we shouldn't be in the hallway." You tried to push him off but that only got him to push his hips all the way against yours, the slight curve of his cock rubbing against your inner walls. "Fuck you and your perfect body."
"Mhm, go right ahead. I welcome it." His pace was slow on purpose, made to drive you mad with lust. He wanted you to chase him as much as he chased you. "Go on, don't you want my cock? You better show me how much you want it." Lucifer growled as he bit your shoulder, drawing blood and making your pussy ripple around him. "My cute painslut, how rough do you want it?"
You gulped and turned to meet his demonic eyes and bloody lips. "If Heaven won't see us then make them hear us."
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"Where the fuck do you think you're going little slut? I don't remember telling you you could leave." Adam's big hand wrapped around your forearm and squeezed. "I thouht I told you not to leave my bed till my dick goes soft. Imagine my surprise when I find you sneaking around my house like this." He got in close to your face, anger evident on his masked face, in his tone, you could even imagine his cock pulsing with it.
"Sorry, I thought you'd had enough." You tried to pull away but he squeezed harder. "Adam, that hurts."
He scoffed at your complaint and pulled your smaller body against his. Golden wings dragged on the floor behind him, making him look as much of an angel now as he was a demon in bed.
"You bet your hot ass it hurts." His other hand wrapped around your hip and scooped you into the air. "Wrap your legs around me. Right this damn second." He wasn't good but you still couldn't bring yourself to disobey him. "That's a good bitch. If only you were so good before I wouldn't have to punish you now. You made me leave my comfy bed for this, you better make it worth it for my dick. You hear?"
"Yes Adam, sir." You let your head fall against his chest as he pushed his thick, huge cock into your sensitive pussyhole.
"That's it, make my dick wet, yeah, like that." He cooed against your ear and wrapped his wings around you, the soft feathers caressing your naked back. "Ride my cock and beg for my forgiveness."
You hooked your legs around his hips and rose up, staring into his golden eyes. "Sorry. I'm sorry for not listening to you, sir." You licked your lips and sat back down on his cock, feeling it splitting your cunt open. "I'm sorry for leaving you. You can punish me as much as you want."
"Hell yes I can. I will. Now you're not getting off my dick all day, for real. You'll be such a pretty cocksleeve today." Something similar to a warm slime flashed across his mask before replaced by a lecherous grin.
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Cats were natural predators so it wasn’t odd for Husk to suggest to chase you. He had more than one advantage, his quick cat reflexes as well as his wings. You’d lose no matter what.
“Not much of game if you lose so easily, darlin’.” Husk pushed your head against the hard floor. “You should have given me more of a challenge.” His barbed cock dragged along the outside of your slick pussy as you tried to push your hips against him harder. “Bad girl, you can’t just take whatever you want.”
You chuckled and spread your legs more so he could climb on top of you better. “And why can’t I? You already know I don’t have your stamina yet you suggested I run all over the city. The casino was my last resort.” More specifically the only casino that he still had left. It was his safe heaven. And it meant you could do anything you wanted in here.
Husk purred against the back of your neck as the tip of his cock caught on your entrance.
“Such a shame. We need to work on you stamina. You need to be able to keep up with me. Or else you’ll never keep up with me in my rut.” His cock sank in easily, aided by the wetness from your pussy. “Opening up for me so easily. But you know, I’m debating on giving you what you want. I think I’ll keep you pinned like this and not let you move an inch.”
Shit. This did some back to bit you just not in the way you expected it to.
“I’ll make you move.” You clenched your inner walls around his cock but Husk was more stubborn than most demons in Hell. He wouldn’t fold easily, not even to you.
“Keep massaging my dick sweetheart. Get all the cum out of it okay, I’ll keep us tied together.” His teeth nibbled on your shoulder while he spoke. Not only would you have his cum marking you when you walked out of here but also his bite marks.
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Valentino owned everything and everyone in the Studio. That included you. When he says keep still you’re still, when he says open up you open up, when he says run you run. You won’t get far, but he lets you make it just to the door before you feel his arms wrap your your hips and lift you up into the air. “No, no, no, not outside. You know I can’t let you do that without me, my darling. There are dangerous people out there.”
Two of his hands held your legs open while the third one played with your pussy, right in front of the door where people could see. The embarrassment flushed through you and you realized that running to the door might have been a mistake. You had the whole Studio to play in yet you chose this as your destination.
“Will you punish me for trying to escape?” You tilted your head to look up at him right in time for him to cup your jaw and capture you in a kiss.
“My whore knows me so well, that’s why I like you best of all.” Valentino tasted almost sickeningly sweet, his taste made you as dizzy as his big cock being pushed inside your tight pussy. “It’s so tight already. After all that time time you spent with my cock in your cunt today.” His claws dug into your thighs as he flicked your sensitive clit, causing your overstimulated yet full pussy to obey his touch and squeeze down on his cock.
You were good for him but you still craved this, the hard, punishing thrusts if his cock. “Give me… your cum… please, Val.”
“Asking to be breed like a bitch in heat where everyone could see you, now I know you’re fit for this job. I always choose my toys well.” Valentino’s cock pulsed as it emptied it’s seed inside your womb and pushed it in while his hips smacked and press against yours. Your pussy squeezed around him as much as it could, silently begging for more.
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This wasn’t a typical chase. In fact Vox insisted he could find you and make you come without even exiting his news room. You could run anywhere within Pentagram City, he could always follow you. “Wrong turn.” You heard his voice in your ear and a second later felt a pleasant vibration in your pussy.
You leaned against the brick wall for a second. You weren’t allowed to catch your breath, the vibrations only got faster, along with the slow thrusting motion. It made walking hard let alone running. But you still did, you’d play this game of his and you would get your prize.
As you turned around the corner you looked behind, half-expecting him to be there. The vibrating toy sure made it seem that way. It was modeled after Vox’s cock after all, all the way to the patterns running to the tip of it.
“Vox, I want to go back.” You breathed as you pressed against the wall, legs shaking and thighs dripping with your pussy juice. “I want you to fuck me.” You demanded not fully knowing if he could hear you too. A chuckle echoed around you, confirming that he could. The toy stopped for a moment before it started going so fast your legs could no longer hold you. You fell down on all fours, legs spread open and ass in the air, just barely hidden from the view of everyone but Vox.
“Lift your skirt, let me see what’s mine.” Shaky hands obeyed his words, giving the camera’s around the perfect view of the toy thrusting in and out of your drenched hole, your hips swaying back, trying to find more release. “Come for me, pretty girl.”
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barblaz-arts · 2 months
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Fellow Chaggie shipper, here and I wanted to ask you a question. Could you please do an analysis post on the Chaggie argument from Hello Rosie. I know this will sound weird but I can't get over the level of icy anger Charlie had towards Vaggie or how despite everything going on, Charlie is more hurt from Vaggie not being honest with her. Just angst all around.
Oh yeah sure I'd love to!
I'm not sure there's a lot I can say about that argument that isn't already super obvious, so I wanna talk about Charlie's anger because of something my brother said as we watched episode 7. He loved that episode apparently because "When they're separated, it's even more obvious that Charlie is the one who's more quick to lose her cool." Which, looking back, is actually true!(To an extent)
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Vaggie and Charlie are both quite quick to anger. Charlie is just better at hiding it because she's a chronic people pleaser. Although Charlie wouldn't immediately show her anger at a person being a jerk to her specifically, she's immediately summoning fire and brimstone over anyone who hurts/insults her friends or the cause she's fighting for.
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Love this lil bit in "You Didn't Know". How Vaggie is the one telling Charlie to calm down, as if she knows what's about to happen. She knows that if she doesn't at least try to reel in her girl Charlie would be spitting literal fire at a goddamn seraphim.
It would seem like such a surprising role reversal, but if you look at all the times Charlie would lose it whenever Vaggie's not there to tell her "babe, chill", then it makes sense.
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But then when their fallout happens, Charlie's short temper is even more apparent. She calls Alastor an asshole to his face even though she considered choosing his support over her father's. She openly glares and rolls her eyes at Rosie when she jokes that her and Alastor look like an item even though she still kept things cordial with Valentino after he licked her arm. She flips the bird at some old lady even though she didn't take visible offense at all the demons that inserted their crude and rude selves in "Happy Day in Hell." While she was cold and subdued even when upset with Vaggie, she was explosive and in ur face when she was pissed at everyone else.
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Vaggie reigned in both the girl in Charlie who dreams a little too big and the demon who's waiting to lash out in flames. It really makes me wonder if there's a difference in the kind of person Charlie used to be before Vaggie. Before she had friends to be angry on behalf of and a person to calm her down. And then, in the wake of their argument, Charlie is left with a lot of anger that is easy to ignite.
But I love love love that despite all that anger, Charlie can't bring herself to deny that she loves Vaggie with all of her hurt heart.
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This little moment is one of my favorite parts in the series. My brother mentioned that this episode and episode three were his favorites because he liked the beats the dialogues followed. So he looked back--
(the man literally paused the episode to check the opening credits of ep 7 and 3. I was a little annoyed because I just wanted my Chaggie dammit! We'd make terrible youtube reactors with all the pausing and discussing mid-episode that we do...)
--and was satisfied to see that it was written by the same person, Ariel Ladensohn. Apparently she's in a sapphic relationship too and projected her own experiences whenever she wrote Vaggie and Charlie, and it must have paid off because the moments she wrote with them felt so real.
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Charlie expressing her fear that even Vaggie's support and love could also be part of the lies she told was understandable considering the betrayal she felt. But immediately following that she goes "Oh that's a horrible to thing to think!" which I love even more. Even when she's understandably mad she thinks about how Vaggie would feel over Charlie thinking that of her. Because although Vaggie lied about who she is, Vaggie was always sincere about how she felt for Charlie. Vaggie's past may have been a lie, but the things she did for, to, and on behalf of Charlie were very real and held dear in Charlie's heart.
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I dont have anything smart to say to conclude this. Sorry, I'm not even sure where I went here. Let's all just appreciate the smile Charlie has on her face when she thinks about Vaggie even when she's under a lot of stress I guess.
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
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Paws and Pixels: VoxPet™️
Tiny!Vox x Reader
A/N: Totally writing this thing because of a cute chat session I had with some wonderful people on a Hazbin discord server, it's a shitposty idea but it was a cute one so I couldn't help but write about it. A continuation to "Get off my Screen!" is in the works alongside some other requests too! I'm just glad it was received so well, thanks y'all!
A/N: Btw, the chibi Vox art isn't mine. I might draw something similar with a Y/N eventually though so message me or request it in my askbox if you wanna see it XD
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You wished you could say it was a normal day.
But truth be told-
It was so far off from that.
The Vee tower was complete mess by the time you had arrived.
The place was often busy, you knew that much-
But to fall into complete disarray?
Your beloved would have never even allowed it.
Speaking of your lover, where the hell was he?
His absence left you more than puzzled, this was Vox you were talking about after all.
Mr. I-have-to-keep-an-eye-on-everything-or-it-all-entirely-goes-to-shit-
You couldn't say he was wrong this time however, walking towards the elevator with intent to find the other Vees.
But of course they ended up finding you first.
It was Velvette who abruptly dragged you away from the chaos in the office.
Not that you still quite understood what was going on and the reason for her urgency.
"WhaA- Vel??"
"Sorry darling, we've got a bit of an issue as you can clearly tell- but there's just something I absolutely must show you."
You didn't really even have time to ask questions before you saw Valentino rush past you.
Was he holding a phone in each hand?
He barely even greeted you in his hasty exit, probably too busy with the 4 phone conversations he was having simultaneously.
All this chaos and your boyfriend still hasn't shown up.
You started getting worried that something happened to him.
But what Velvette ended up showing you was definitely not at all what you expected.
Especially since you didn't expect to find Vox here of all places.
That and... he wasn't quite himself.
Not that you were complaining, but it was really weird seeing your boyfriend so tiny.
He was probably plushie-sized to be honest.
You would have found it cute if it weren't for the shock from everything else.
The tiny Vox visibly perked up when he saw you.
Was he beeping or squeaking?
"What... what the fuck even happened???"
"Do you want the whole story or a TLDR?"
While you lightly poked the smaller Vox that stood atop the table, Velvette quickly updated you on what had transpired before your arrival.
Apparently, Vox had gone and gotten himself in trouble with some goons earlier in the day.
It wasn't often Vox would get hurt by anything, he was an overlord after all-
But sometimes people got lucky or they really just ganged up on him in big numbers.
The good news was he won, the bad news was he'd gotten pretty beat up because of it.
Shattered screen, fried motherboard, stray wires, and a whole other myriad of issues to boot.
He'd come back to the tower needing a ton of repairs.
Problem was, he'd run out of the needed spare parts and his backup body wasn't in any good condition to be used either.
So go figure, your creative boyfriend decided to handle his situation in another way after he'd put in the order for said needed parts.
They'd probably arrive in just a few days but seriously-
You could only stare at the tiny version of your lover in bewilderment.
There was absolutely no understanding of what was running through this man's brain.
He was even wearing a miniature version of his typical outfit, coat and all!
"Soooo... has he just been in here the whole time?"
"Pretty much. He doesn't really talk either, Val and I haven't figured out if it's because he can't or won't."
"Oh lord."
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, patting the tiny Vox with your hands.
You honestly wanted to be more mad at the situation-
But Vox really just looked too cute.
You just wanted to freakin squeeze him-
"I'm gonna need a purse to carry him around..."
"Oh wow, you're treatin' 'im like a pet already."
You rolled your eyes at Velvette's comment, looking down at your currently tiny boyfriend to find him staring at you.
He had absolutely no business being this cute-
"I'm taking him home, I'd gather that you and Val can handle things here?"
"For the most part, just be a dear and make sure nothing else happens to 'im until his parts arrive."
You just rolled your eyes again.
Great way of stating the obvious Velvette.
Besides, Vox was still an overlord and the strongest of the Vees.
His powers shouldn't have been affected in this form right??
There was no way your beloved went ahead and made himself as harmless as he looked-
At least that's what you had hoped.
However, you picked him up in both hands- you were starting to doubt that.
Vox merely tilted his monitor head to get a better look at you before beeping, his legs dangled slightly from how you held him.
BEEPING AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOUR WORDS FOOL-
"Huh, he's never made that sound before."
You were really starting to regret even walking into the building today.
And that was of course when your miniature boyfriend decided it was the perfect time to lightly zap you.
It didn't hurt, but it was enough for your attention to go back to him.
Only to see his face all pink with a bunch of hearts emoticons on it.
This little shit-
You really couldn't stay mad at him for long.
Eventually when you were able to get a grip on yourself, Velvette handed you a purse to put Vox in as requested- and you were on your way home.
What did the other Vees even expect you to do with Vox like this?
Did you accidentally become your boyfriend's babysitter??
Today was just way too tiring for you already.
You practically collapsed on the couch once you got home.
Dropping the purse with tiny lover in it on one of the nearby cushions, you didn't really care about the annoyed squeaking that came from inside the bag from the rough landing.
Vox just crawled out of the small purse with a huff.
He figured you would've liked him being all cute this way.
But judging by your reactions-
He couldn't tell if you liked it or hated it.
He did feel slightly bad seeing how tired you were though.
Practically waddling over towards you, Vox patted your head trying to get your attention.
When that didn't work he started beeping and squeaking until you raised your head and looked at him again.
And you were surprised when he awkwardly moved to hug you.
Well, hug your face rather.
The words: "I'm sorry." flashing on his tiny screen.
You sighed tiredly.
Even if he was a little infuriating at times, you still loved Vox's antics.
This one included.
"It's okay, I'm okay. Everything just happened way too fast."
A heart then appeared on his tiny screen face and you pretty much melted.
He was just too fuckin cute.
A/N: Might write a part 2 for this with other headcanons, this was so friggin adorable AHAHAHAHAHA
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lily-radiance · 4 months
Text
Hazbin Hotel idea
- Fallen-Angel reader(Fem) x Alastor
The reader is doubting Heaven's actions and decides to take a trip to Hell to see for herself.
- Disagrees with the idea of senseless carnage but understands life is not so simple and split in two.
- Charlie, of course, takes her in, although she does not know the reader is an angel. The reader at first doubts the redemption idea but begins to see the vision.
- Reader is not a fan of Lucifer for many reasons, but mainly because he "betrayed" Heaven, and his relationship with Lilith/Charlie is strained.
- Imagine Hell's greatest Dad, but instead of y'know the whole dad part, Lucifer and Alastor are trying to make you pick a side.
- Alastor, chaotic as usual, tries to get the reader to accept being fallen and doesn't want her to go back. She tells him about her 'predicament' before anyone else, and you better believe he wants to fight the angels for you. He tells Charlie and the others about everything because he knows you won't do it yourself. You obviously get mad. Like big mad.
- In your spiral, he sees your wings at their total capacity, and your shaken demeanor has them changing from white to black at a high rate.
- Vox and Valentino get the terrible idea to hold you for ransom against Alastor and Angel Dust, and they do not go unpunished. Vox makes several derogatory comments about your "holier than thou image," Alastor won't let him get away with it. When it comes to you, he has no problem with your lineage, and honestly, he finds it charming that an angel of all creatures would fall for him.
One of your wings gets injured, and unsurprisingly, it happens to be one of the only angelic wings left. (Say the top and bottom wings on each side are black while the middle two are white?) You used to dye your wings to hide your angelic nature, but with an injury present, it is the least of your concerns. Alastor refuses to let you fly while in recovery, and he has to deal with your pouting. When you do heal, he's still weary, always accompanying you in case you need a helping hand.
"Al, I can fly on my own! Look, my wing is healed!"
"No."
"C'mon, just one lap around the hotel!"
"No."
- Husk thinks you're pretty chill company and likes to vent when you have nothing to do. Sure, he can't say much about Alastor without fearing for his soul, but when he can, the conversations are never dull. If you make him laugh, you'll never let him forget it.
- Angel and Nifty constantly tease you about your infatuation with a particular radio demon. Don't expect any worthwhile advice, even if it means no harm. Charlie really wants to see you and Al together, but she might need to be reminded about boundaries.
- Angel Dust once tried to hit on you to see what would happen and nearly got thrown into next week.
- When he says "Good Girl" to Charlie, you can't help but blush and be a little jealous. He isn't afraid to use the phrase to fluster you on purpose, although you would prefer he not.
- If you wear makeup/do your nails, he will be fascinated. He doesn't say anything because once, he spooked you and made you jump, ruining it. The next hour was spent with him memorizing every detail of your designs in case of another mistake. If he scares you again, it's his job to redo everything. Except for mascara. Never mascara.
- Chess and poker games when the staff has downtime. He will use his shadows to help you cheat, but only if he's not playing with you. Husk knows but says nothing.
- If you're listening to music with earbuds, he will occasionally slow the signal so he can bother you. At first, you were annoyed, but realized it was his odd way of communication. Plus, he still hates technology. (You will purposely play "Video Killed The Radio Star" to get him back.)
"Would you kindly stop playing that infernal song, my dear?"
"Not until you stop interrupting my music."
- The Egg Bois love you, that's no surprise. They always ask about you when being watched by Alastor. The radio demon has come to accept the many questions by now, but the first time, he wanted to spit out his coffee. You think fondly of the memory, occasionally bringing it up to lighten the mood.
"Are you and Mom fighting?"
- When you get into disagreements, expect a few dozen bouquets of white roses in your room. He's terrible at expressing emotions other than murderous intent, and Charlie does what she can to help. You're both stubborn, but it gets too exhausting to keep up the act, and eventually, someone has to cave. (Charlie isn't afraid to wear her horns when confronting him, and if he tries to avoid apologizing, Lucifer will make a daily phone call to annoy him.)
"Hey asshole, talk to your girlfriend, it's upsetting my daughter. Also, you suck."
- Regarding the Extermination day, you try your best to fight the Angelic invasion but struggle. Alastor is stuck between keeping you and the Hotel safe. When Adam nearly beats him, you don't know he's alive, but his reappearance at the new and improved hotel is a welcome sight. He's a little rattled that he almost died, but seeing you safe is enough to keep him going. He might be a tad crazier, but you love him to pieces anyway as you run up and hug him. Typically, he despises physical contact, but coming from you, he doesn't mind, even going so far as to hug you back.
"I assure you that I'm alright, mon cher."
"Are you sure, Al, because that was a difficult fight. Wait—your voice!"
The radio demon takes a moment to realize that without his staff, his voice is clearer than before.
"Oh, you must mean the radio feedback is gone. Yes, I suppose you've never heard my regular voice. I had forgotten what it sounded like. How is it?
"It sounds lovely. I couldn't imagine a better fit."
"I should return the compliment; that is what a proper gentleman does. Your wings look lovely as ever, (Y/N)."
You look over your shoulder to see the feathers no longer entirely black, but back to their ivory shade. A few straggled feathers remain, but you don't mind, overjoyed.
In the middle of your undeniably cute interaction, the rest of the staff is watching. It isn't until Husk interrupts with "get a room" that you two get the hint.
Bonus:
Ruffle this tall disaster's hair. He might complain, but he loves it.
Are you feeling extra crazy? Boop him. Just boop the nose. He will do the same to you.
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weebsinstash · 4 months
Text
I've talked about "oooo what about Reader running away from Val" "what about Reader becoming his friend" well what about a Reader who has a smart mouth and a nasty fucking temper that you can't control and Valentino LOVES to keep you around if not purely because you mouth off and give him excuses to punish you, like literally he gets off on knowing you'll just walk right into something he can use as an excuse to fuck with you
You're just serving him drinks, being nice to him, everything is fine, you're behaving, you're getting along, and you roll up your sleeves and he gives you this LOOK, "you're getting muscular, it's not cute, you're too masculine" and you just hit him with "well one of us has to be" and deftly dodging a glass thrown at your head shortly thereafter while he roars at you asking who the fuck you think you are and THEN you just start insulting him for having a short temper
"Awwwwww, lo siento, papi! I didn't mean to make the BIG STRONG MAN soOoOoooOoo mad! Maybe you can snort another rail off a hooker's tits again to cheer yourself up, that ALWAYS works!"
Like genuinely it's like the worst possible form of a customer service job because if you mouth off to him you're not getting FIRED, you're getting TIED UP AND PADDLED until you're crying and whimpering "I'm sorry mister Valentino I promise it won't happen again"
Cut to the next night where he tells you you're putting on too much weight and you can't stop yourself from saying that you could take some of your fat and put it in his ass since he doesn't have one, and the cycle begins anew....
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voxisdaddy · 2 months
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Ice Cream
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Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairing: Velvette x Reader
Type: Headcanons + Drabble
C/TW: Swearing, mentions of sex, Velvette might be a bit OOC, little to no mention of reader but it’s implied, angst
In which we see how Velvette deals with her break up with reader.
Saw a comment saying something about how Velvette is the type of girl who eats ice cream when she’s sad and it got me thinking of Velvette after a break up with her s/o. So now here’s that lol headcanons + Drabble
Pt.2 Pt.3
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𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Velvette I can imagine just being angry over a break up rather than sad. Doesn’t matter how it ends, I just know she’s be mad.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ She’s usually pretty easy to read; judgemental, quick witted, snarky, mean, and demanding. So when she’s unusually quiet in the Vee’s lounge, eating a tub of ice cream while watching some Hella Novella, the other two Vee’s are, on some level, freaked out.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ They’ve dealt with Velvette post breakup before. She’s angry. She’s mean. She destroys things in a fit of rage. No one can calm her down. Sure Vox can calm down Valentino-but that’s Valentino. The moth pimp can’t even use his smoke to try and calm her down when she’s like this. She might be “new” among the overlords and not have decades upon decades of experience being in hell, but she’s observant. She stays far away from Valentino’s smoke and charming ways as much as possible. She wants to stay mad.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This time though it’s different. Vox and Valentino had discovered the break up. Not personally from Velvette or you-whether or not they know you personally is up to you-but Valentino, who stalked your sinstagram profile the night before, noted to Vox that all the pictures of Velvette on your profile just disappeared. Vox is a busy man, so he didn’t exactly have time to quickly check and have a gossip session with Valentino. But by the time he was able to, your account didn’t even exist anymore. You deleted it. Oh ho. Now this is interesting.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The two greeted her as usual, trying not to act too different. Valentino had a knowing smirk on his face though. I mean, how could he not? Seeing someone down in the dumps was just oh so fun~
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ In turn, Velvette just hummed in acknowledgement-muttering about grabbing another tub of ice cream from the freezer. Vox raised a brow behind her back but did retrieved the tub of ice cream anyways. It was a little thing, not like those big tubs of ice cream. But still, Velvette seemingly intending to eat it all was mildly impressive and concerning.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Valentino joined Velvette on the couch, getting high and eating some ice cream as well. Well, from a tub of his own. Velvette doesn’t particularly like to share-but then again, none of the Vee’s do. Vox ordered some dinner to be delivered, taking off his coat and bow tie before joining his fellow Vee’s in front of the television. Velvette rolled her eyes at the two joining her on the couch. Can’t they see she wants to be left alone?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The night comes to an end with Velvette storming out of the lounge with her dinner and a half tub of ice cream.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This routine would continue for the next 3 weeks; Come home, find Velvette eating ice cream by herself in front of the tv, try to have a decent dinner, Velvette storms off.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ It wasn’t until one night where she cracked.
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ They had ordered dinner for delivery again. Tonight Velvette had not asked for anything super specific. The Vee’s knew her enough to know her taste anyways, they could figure it out. And if they don’t, that’s too bad for them now is it?
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ The food came and Velvette felt her dead heart crack. This was your favourite…
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ She scowled, angrily taking her food and marching straight to her personal quarters in the Vee Tower.
“Fucking-OF COURSE they get me this!” Velvette threw her phone at the sofa. She paced around the living room, angrily stomping about and muttering obscenities under her breath.
She huffed before throwing herself on the couch. She clutched her phone as she scrolled through her sinstagram account. She had yet to delete any photos of you on her account. People in the comments were quick to point out how your entire account just seemed to have disappeared, meanwhile Velvette still held onto your pictures on hers.
Their was much speculation about the current status of your relationship. One account was wiped and one remained as though everything was fine. She opened her saved stories and looked through the anniversary pics.
She stopped on a video of the two of you giggling together. Both of you kind of sweaty but feeling quite relieved. You had just finished a session together and were now just laying in bed giggling while holding each other. You were both glowing from the anniversary sex.
The pinkette scowled.
“How dare you dump me?! I’m Velvette! I’m that bitch! I’m the backbone of the Vee’s! You can’t just leave!” She screamed, staring at a picture of you and her together.
Harsh stomping could be heard from Velvette’s floor. Vox rolled his eyes. Satan—even Valentino’s tantrums aren’t usually this obnoxious. Violent yes but stomping? What are they? Suddenly 6 years old or something?
Okay Vox’s weird preferences for tantrums aside, Velvette, uncharacteristically, found herself crying on her sofa.
Every so often she’d be looking at a picture of you, sniffling and glaring harshly.
“I coulda given you—everything!” She swiped to the next photo, “I have money,” next picture, “fame,” next picture, “respect,” she stops on a video of you saying ‘I love you’ to her.
“…”
She slams her phone down on the couch before turning to glare at the now cold dinner sitting on her kitchen island. The meal is flung to the floor in a fit of rage.
“To hell with you!”
Oh ho—you will pay.
Yes. You most certainly will.
194 notes · View notes
am-i-interrupting · 3 months
Note
do you mind if i ask for a bimbo gn!reader who thinks they have an unrequited crush on vox all the while being oblivious of vox's own attempt at flirting, please?
Daft Dolls
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All that training with Velvette about how not to just pace but run in high heels really did pay off. Not only was it a valuable tool to have in Hell of all places, it was also just pretty damn useful to know in general.
You weren’t running from loan sharks. No, you were running towards a specific hotel. You weren’t in trouble. Far from it. You were excited. You could not wait to see the look on his face.
The doors were slammed open as you barged in. You looked across the lobby of the hotel.
Vaguely you registered other people (a man dressed in red who just appeared out of thin air) but your eyes zoned in on the pink clad spider at the bar.
“The fuck you doing here, toots?”
“I got you out of work!”
Your voices overlapped. Angel Dust looked at you with a raised brow. “What?”
“I got you out of work,” you repeated as you walked towards him, the door closing behind you. “Well, not work but work work. You know, Valentino work. I know it’s not what you wanted but being on set with me is better than being on set with Valentino, right? At least, that’s what I was thinking ‘cause when I went to talk to him about it he was mad. Like mad mad. He threw bottle of rosé at me.”
“Are you okay?” Angel asked.
You batted his hands away from you. “I’m fine. It’s no big deal. He has shit aim anyway. He missed but with the help of Vox I was able to get you off of Val’s set and onto mine!”
Angel Dust just stared at you, absolutely silent.
As he processed what you said, a blonde woman came up beside you. “Um, hi, I’m Charlie. You’re one of Angel’s friends, I guess? It’s so nice to meet you.”
You took her outstretched hand (it was really soft) and shook it. “Nice to meet you too! Angel’s told me about you. I’m—“
“Vox helped you?” Angel asked, coming out of his stupor. “Like TV head Vox? Overlord Vox? That Vox? He helped you get me out of work?”
“Yeah,” you said shaking your head. “He was already up there with Val. I kind of just barged in. I wasn’t thinking. That was probably a stupid thing to do but you were on the news and then you were messaging me all freaked out about what Val was gonna do because you were on the news so I just kind of went up there to talk about it and anyway. Yeah, why?”
He downed the glass that was on the bar beside him. “You’re so oblivious sometimes,” he said.
“What?!”
He pointed a finger at you. “You call me at least once every two weeks and moan and groan about how—“
You clasped your hands over his mouth. “Can we not ta— Ew! Angel!” You yanked your hands back, now covered in his saliva. “Gross!”
He smirked at you and leaned in close, “Just making sure you’re prepared for that hand job he’s gonna get.”
You pushed his shoulder and he pushed you back. This led to you both lightly hitting each other with no real intent to harm one another.
That was until a different woman’s voice sounded through the room, “What the fuck is going on?”
The both of you stopped and turned towards her. Grey skin, white hair, orange eyes, she was gorgeous. You couldn’t help but say as much.
She looked completely thrown off by your blatant statement meanwhile Angel threw his head back with a laugh and Charlie looked over at her with a huge smile.
“Vaggie,” Charlie said in a sing-song voice.
“No,” the woman (Vaggie) immediately responded with. “Absolutely not.”
She turned around and started walking away. “Sorry,” Charlie said before moving to follow her. “But they’d be perfect for the Hotel!”
“No, we’re not having two Angel Dusts,” Vaggie said.
“But, Vaggie,” Charlie’s voice then grew too distant to hear.
Angel waited a moment but then he turned to you again. “You really got me out of work?” he asked, voice so close to sounding fragile.
“Course I did,” you told him. You grabbed his hand. “Your my friend, Angie.” You let go. “I need to go back though. I’m on my lunch break and it’s probably almost over. I just got so excited, I had to come tell you in person.”
Angel pulled you in for a hug and squeezed you with all six arms. “You’re the best, toots.”
“I know, I know,” you said. “Anyway, I gotta go. See ya!”
You blew Angle kissed as you walked backwards to the door. You spun around, prepared to open it when you saw the red clad man from before holding the door open for you.
“Oh, thanks.”
“Of course, my dear,” he said, a radio filter on his voice. “Please, allow me to walk you back. I’d love to thank our mutual friend in person for helping our other mutual friend.”
“You know Vox?”
“Yes, indeed I do, very well, in fact. I’m Alastor. Pleasure to meet you, my dear, quite a pleasure,” he said.
You gave him your name in turn.
The two of you walked together in silence. You did notice as the two of you walked, many people sprinted away which was odd, especially for you.
You were normally approached by people when you were out. They didn’t run away.
See, several years ago youd made a deal with Velvette. You were one of her models and she’d provide you with protection from Hell’s many dangers along with the occasional free clothes as a bonus. Time passed and you and Velvette actually ended up getting along fairly well. She’d put you in her streams, in her posts, she’d hang out with you outside of work. That’s when one day she heard you singing when she invited herself over. A couple days later, you were basically told you were going to make an album. The rest was history.
So, people running from instead of approaching you was different, weird, even strange.
You looked over at your company but he simply wore a smile. You could hear him humming actually, something upbeat and jazzy. You supposed if he wasn’t deterred you shouldn’t be either. Maybe it was just one of those off days in Hell, especially since it was so soon after the extermination.
Eventually you got to the three Vs’ tower. What you didn’t expect was for Vox to immediately teleport to the entryway.
His posture was straight which was normal but it seemed tense. If that wasn’t enough to tip you off the fact that he was still sparking was and his eye strobing definitely was. You followed his gaze to Alastor and found yourself suddenly very cautious of the man.
While Alastor didn’t seem that bad on the surface you’d known Vox longer. You trusted Vox. You more than trusted Vox actually but the point was you took a very lengthy step away from Alastor and toward’s Vox even if he was sparking.
“What marvelous company this one makes,” Alastor said, gesturing to you. “Wouldn’t you say, old friend?”
Vox took a step in front of you. “Get the FUCK out of my territory!” he said.
Alastor’s smile turned into something devious, something knowing, and something very unnerving. He gave a bow and then vanished into the shadows.
Vox placed a hand on your back and guided you inside. “Do not ever go around him again, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” you said. Not once in your half a decade in Hell had you ever seen Vox like this.
He sighed. His sparking calmed down and his eyes stopped strobing. “Sorry, just, um, I— he’s— it’s complicated. Just don’t associate with him.”
“Sorry, I was just going to that hotel Angie’s staying at. He insisted on walking me back, that’s all,” you explained.
“It’s— Wait, what? What hotel?”
“The Happy Hotel that Charlie Morningstar started. There was an ad for it on 666 today before Angel’s fight.”
Vox stopped. “Alastor’s back and he’s staying at a hotel run by Lucifer’s daughter?”
Prior to all of the things that happened two days after the extermination, Vox had already said (as what you assumed was a way to placate Valentino) that he would be personally in charge of directing your music video but it seemed like since Alastor he wasn’t letting you out of his sight. That was silly though.
He did come into your apartment in the tower though and just sat on your couch. That was normal though. Vox did that when he was stressed. He said your apartment was less noisy than staying with the other Vs. Whatever the case, you made him dinner last night.
Now it was the next day and Velvette was dolling you up as she was prone to do. She blended out your lipstick with her finger. Then she put a thick layer of lip gloss on top.
“Pout for me. Perfect. You look pretty, innocent, and fuckable,” she said.
She pulled you out of your chair and to the nearest full length mirror. She was right, as always. She’d given you a very soft blue makeup look for the most part with sharp eyeliner and bold pink and black lips. She had dressed you in a pastel pink cropped sweater, a matching miniskirt with a high pastel blue g-string, and tall white boots. She’d outdone herself but she always did.
She ushered you out of the dressing room after you both got done gawking at yourself and to the set. There you found Angel in a very similar get up but with the pinks and blues reversed.
“You ready to blow this shoot?” Angel asked,
“Wrong kind of shoot for a blow,” you told him.
He rolled his eyes with a smile. One hand of his went around your shoulders. The other went around the waist.
You both went to set and chatted while you waited for Vox to arrive.
It was only a few minutes before he was walking through the doors, a tray of three cups in his hands. He set it down on a nearby table. Velvette went to grab one but he cut her off, taking it instead. You caught sight of her offended expression before it morphed into a done but knowing look. One hand on her hip while the other plucked a different cup off the tray,
Vox turned, now two cup in hand. He caught sight of you and raised an eyebrow. Velvette doubled over laughing. You couldn’t help but wander why. It was too loud to hear what they were saying but it didn’t look like either of them had moved their lips.
Maybe one of Vox’s soundboard noises went off. That was known to happen occasionally but you couldn’t think of why.
You didn’t really get the chance to think of any reasons though as seconds later Vox was in front of you. He extended the hand holding the cup he’d taken from Velvette.
“You look nice,” he said.
“Thanks, Velvette’s work,” you explained, taking the cup from him. You hummed to yourself when you were met with your favorite drink.
“I’m sure that’s not all true,” he said.
You were too busy to notice how his eyes lingered on your face but Angel did. Throughout the next few weeks Angel noticed a lot.
He’d never really seen you and Vox interact before. He would just hear stories from you afterwards and holy fuck. You had to be dense to think this man wasn’t absolutely obsessed with you.
Vox brought you your favorite drink every single day. He complimented you every single day. He would correct and critique everyone else in a very detached way at best and frustrated way more often than not. But with you, he was calm, gentle almost. He took your ideas and incorporated them. He would go out of his way to physically correct your poses or guide you through specific motions. Once you mentioned off handedly that your feet were hurting and there was an early lunch break where he didn’t even eat, he massaged your feet for you.
When Angel brought this up, however, he was brushed off.
“He brought Velvette a drink too.” Yeah, one she complained tasted like piss.
“He does that all the time. It doesn’t mean anything.” Angel had never heard Vox compliment anyone in his nearly seventy years in Hell.
“He just knows me better, that’s all.” Not once had Angel ever seen Vox being even half as kind to Velvette or Valentino.
“I’m sure he does that with other people’s ideas.” Angel remembered being told multiple iterations of the same story with different people, all because they did something as small as suggest different shoes for someone to walk in because it was too loud.
“It’s probably just easier to do that than explain. He knows I’m used to being puppeted around by Vel.” He spent five minutes explaining to Angel what to do instead of just moving his four arms into position.
“Do you want me to give you a foot massage, Angie? All you have to do is ask.” Well, yes, but that wasn’t the point!
Angel watched as Vox laughed at something you said. “Fucking dumbass,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed a yogurt off the snack bar.
“I know, right?” Velvette said, scaring the shit out of him in the process. “You think this is bad? Ugh, imagine being surrounded by it all the time and Voxy’s just as bad and there’s no escaping him. I have to put up with his bitch ass whining all the time. It’s exhausting.”
Angel relaxed enough to lean against the wall. “Kind of makes you want to press them together like dolls and make them kiss, don’t it?” he asked.
“Yeah. . . Wait a minute! That’s it!” Velvette slapped Angel’s shoulder.
She whipped out her phone and started typing frantically. Her legs started kicking from where they dangled over the edge of the snack bar.
Angel peeled open the yogurt and tried to lean to have a look at what she was typing. She was too fast though and shut off her phone with a satisfied smirk.
Her eyes were glued to the pair of you. You pulled out your phone and saw a message from her. You looked over at her with furrowed brows. She just smiled at you manically. You shook your head but gave her a thumbs up.
When lunch break was supposed to be over, Velvette clapped her hands together loud enough it echoed through the room. “Listen up, sluts!” she said, taking control over the room.
You watched as she and Vox had a back and forth which ended with Vox confused on the set couch in a new outfit Velvette poofed on him. It wasn’t anything too far out of his usual style but it was a change. It was simple black slacks and a white button up shirt but the sleeves were rolled past his forearms and several of the buttons were undone. He looked. . . You were staring that’s for sure.
The music came on and you began lip singing. You put your hands on either side of his head. You threw your leg on the other side of his lap and straddled him. You moved your body up and down, not grinding on him due to not sitting on him but it was a close thing. Your face was right in front of his. You tried to hold eye contact with him but for some reason his eyes kept darting down.
“Fuck it,” he said under his breath.
Then an arm was wrapped around your hips forcing you down and a hand was in your hair guiding your head closer to his. Your lips met his and static filled your entire body. His tongue was caressing your mouth, making you feel like you had a mouth full of pop rocks.
You moaned when he flipped you so your back was pressed against the couch. He rolled his hips against yours and you could feel him through his pants.
“Fuck the music video,” he said against your lips. “How would you feel about filming a porno instead?”
“Mmm, kinky,” Angel said.
“I am so sending this to ‘Tino,” Velvette said.
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scoutswritingcorner · 2 months
Note
Hi, I vaguely remember typing this while half asleep so I apologize if this is a realest request because I genuinely can’t remember if I actually sent it or not. I wanted to request some x male reader headcanons about what sleeping with Angel dust is like, as in literally sleeping in the same bed as him, what’s his nighttime routine, does he hog blankets, etc
Sleep Headcanons
Angel Dust x Male Reader
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TW: NONE!!
A/N:This was really fucking cute what-
-🕷️ First off let me say, it’s either he sleeps all day, barely sleeps or doesn’t sleep at all. Not because he’s lazy but because of his line of work, he’s a famous pornstar and one that’s constantly called to work. So when he sleeps, he would like to keep you near him. You don’t have to be asleep, he just wants to feel your arms around him as he sleeps. If you have to get up and leave, leave him a note or maybe a jacket he loves to steal.
-🩷When he does get any amount of sleep, he goes through this long and very specific night time routine. First a bath, wipe his makeup off, put his hair up (if he has time), brush his teeth and get into his comfy pajamas.
-🕷️But sometimes he can’t even do that, so please take it upon yourself to hold him up in your lap and wipe his makeup off his face as he sleeps the day away. 
-🩷 He’s not a big blanket hog but he will steal your blanket from you just cause it smells like you. So be prepared to either curl up against him for warmth or lay on him so he forgets about the blanket. It’s a 50/50 chance it will work so have an extra blanket on hand. Will apologize the next morning.
-🕷️ He does have nightmares at times so when he does he won’t wake you thinking you’d be mad and yell at him for something he can’t control. 
-🩷 He’s a light sleeper on bad days and a heavy sleeper on good ones. Like if he knows he will have to go to work that day, he’s curled up on your chest taking a quick nap. Don’t move too much, you'll wake him up. On the good days he knows he won’t be needed (cause you beat the shit out of Valentino) he’s basically dead to the world. Like, you can blast his favorite music to wake him up and he won’t wake up. It’s scary but you know he’s sleeping cause he is snoring.
-🕷️ A huge snorer and sleep talker. Don’t point it out, it embarrasses him. He mostly sleep talks about anything that comes across his dreams but then he mostly calls for Fat Nuggets and you. 
-🩷 Speaking of Fat Nuggets, he’s Angels cuddle buddy if you have to leave. The little piglet is usually placed between you if you're sleeping but if you're spooning Angel from behind or have to leave? The little piglet moves closer to Angel’s chest. He loves his Papa.
-🕷️ His bed is so comfy like- you could lay on it and within five minutes you are out cold. Especially with all his fluffy and warm blankets he has, you’d still be in your work clothes, lay down to snuggle with Fat Nuggets and then be out like a light. You don’t know how it happens and you don’t want to know.
-🩷Major cuddle bug right here. Will whine if you leave the cuddles and give you puppy dog eyes. Must have a strong will or you will not survive those eyes, cause he pulls the tears out too. Cause he knows you won’t say no to him. Be strong.
-🕷️ The way he asks you in private for cuddles is different than around people. In private, he’ll be all sweet and kiss your cheeks. That’s your cue that he wants cuddles (he’s sweet nonetheless but he ramps it up for cuddle time with his man.) Around people he will make “suggestive” jokes about how he wants you to take him to bed. It makes people weirded out to leave him well enough alone so when you get to his room it’s straight up cuddles.
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chaifootsteps · 5 months
Text
A summary from someone who was at the premiere:
Hi! I'm the person who was at the premiere and noted how Viv ignored her fans (yes the theater was small looking back on it, this was my first time going to an event like this)
Here are the summaries of the first 3 episodes
Episode 1 The episode starts with an origin story about how the angels created the world and Lucifer was one of them and was very creative and shit. So when the angels made Adam and Lilith (and before you ask yes Hazbin's Adam is the first man, they confirmed it in the episode) and Lilith rebelled she and Lucifer became chums and ended up convicing Eve to eat the fruit, which brought sin into the world and made the angels banish Lucifer and Lilith to hell which made Lucifer sad and lose his spark because he's now surrounded by shitty humans. Lilith meanwhile continued to inspire demons with her singing and because heaven didn't like that they sent the exterminators to make sure demons do not rise up against them. But now it is up to Lucifer's and Lilith's daughter to help sinners.
Then it turns out that this was a book Charlie was reading and Vaggie comes in and comforts her telling her she believes in her. Also it turns out that Charlie has not seen Lilith in 7 years. Vaggie then tells Charlie that Alastor has a surprise and we get to see the ad Alastor made. Turns out that they forced Alastor to make an ad with video (and yes he was upset about it). Big woop the ad sucks cause Alastor insulted people in it. Angel Dust suggests to remake the ad into a fucking porno because of course he does.
Then Charlie gets a call from Lucifer who tells her that Adam wants to meet with her and she sings Happy Day in Hell during her walk to Heaven's HQ thing. Meanwhile Vaggie decides to redo the ad which involves Husk reading off the script and Angel sexually harassing him. Vaggie gets upset and Alastor sees this and promises to make a deal wirh her, he helps her make the ad with a video camera and in return they never make him do shit with video again.
Charlie reaches the Heaven's HQ where she meets Adam who literally talks like Chaz. He swears all the time, talks about sex, and even called himself "the original dick" or something , I dunno I had a stroke. He just spends like an hour or so talking to Charlie about how cool he is, how he had sex with this one chick, ect ect. He's really no different from the average demon. Also he's a hologram and he eats ribs during this. Charlie than finally gets to explain her plan to Adam but he and Lute go "no" because sinners had their chance as humans and Adam likes killing them. He then sings a song which I forgot the lyrics for, and yes the "this shot is EVERYTHING" clip came from that song, and he kicks out Charlie. Oh and the next extermination will be 6 months later because Adam felt like being a dick.
Charlie comes back home all sad and shit and Vaggie tries to cheer her up by showing her the new ad. Until it interrupts and Katie Killjoy announces the news that the next extermination will be in 6 months instead of 12. And yes her voice is literally just Bryce Tankthrust's. The episode ends with Lute showing Adam an image of a decapitated exterminator, and now they want to kill all demons because of the murder of an exterminator.
And that's episode 1
Episode 2 Episode 2 starts out with Charlie realising sinners are freaking the fuck out, and that this 6 month deadline may mean sinners may get desperate to redeem themselves. Also Valentino is constantly DMing Angel because Angel moved out. Then Sir Pentious shows up to fight Alastor again but Alastor kicks his ass.
We then meet the 3 VVVs, and Valentino disemboweled Velvette's model because he's angy Angel moved out, so she calls Vox to calm him down. Vox shows up and calms down Valentino. And bruh, Valentino somehow acts no different from Stella. He's so unthreatening and goofy with how much he acts like a spoiled child who got mad his lolipop got taken away it fucking hurts! During their chat, Valentino mentions to Vox that Angel is not the only patron at the Hazbin Hotel, but Alastor is as well which angers Vox because he thought Alastor was gone when he vanished 7 years ago.... wait-
Alastor defeats Sir Pent by punting him after he rips off a strip from Alastor's jacket. Alastor leaves to get his suit fixed up but not before summoning some monsters to guard the hotel, with whom Angel flirts with because of fucking course he does. Then we get a duet between Alastor and Vox where Alastor basically announces he's back baybee. The three VVVs then try to inflitrate the hotel so Vox they have to hire someone Charlie would not expect as a spy.
Charlie returns with no new patrons until Sir Pent knocks on the door. Vaggie is about to murk him when Charlie decides to give him a chance and welcomes him into the hotel. There she tries to teach Sir Pent how to be good by making him learn about apologizing, so he apologizes to Alastor for ripping his jacket and gives him back the strip he tore off. Alastor responds by burning the strip.
Charlie then does an excersize with the crew where they all introduce themselves, and only Charlie and Sir Pent do it. At some point we get the Roleplaying scene where Sir Pent pretends he is an innocent kid, and Charlie tells him he'll be on his way to redemption in no time, which makes Angel sad for some reason. Angel goes to his room where he scrolls through voice mails Valentino sent him which flip flop between "Angel baybee I'm so sorry" to "Pick up you fucking whore". And the last one is him telling Angel that "there is no hope for you" while red smoke wraps around sad Angel.
Later that night Angel gets up to get a drink of booze when he walks in on Sir Pent putting up a camera from Vox. He confronts Sir Pent and they start fighting. Charlie and Vaggie walk in and Angel reveals what Sir Pent did. At that moment Vox calls Sir Pent and tells him he's a failure who should die because he failed. Sir Pent then bows down to Angel and Vaggie saying he's sorry and they can kill him. They're about to do so when Charlie breaks out into a song how redemption starts with a sorry. They all then go back to bed when Alastor t poses into the room and bullies Vox for a bit before breaking the watch Sir Pent used to have to talk to Vox.
||Also Niffty simped for Sir Pent for a bit because he's a "bad boy", but after he and Charlie sang that song she got upset that he wasn't a bad boy anymore||
And that's ep 2
Episode 3 So episode 3 starts out with it being one week since Sir Pent joined and Vaggie is chewing him out for building weapons and havine egg minions. So she has Alastor take the egg men away. (We also get a scene of Alastor eating a deer carcass for breakfast) Sir Pent also keeps trying to shoot ppl because he doesn't trust anyone.
In response to this Charlie tries to do some trust exercises for the rest of the crew, such as having them say the most intimate things about themselves while also falling down and letting the crew catch them. She tells them how much she loves them and Vaggie catches her. Angel sexually harasses Husk by saying he loves sucking popsicles and then falling in his arms and saying he loves sucking dick too. Sir Pent says he loved his minions and tells ppl not to catch them but they all do anyways. Niffty confesses that she loves killing mama bug infront of their babies so they learn fear. No one catches her but she keeps jumping off the stage over and over. Then Angel suggests another exercise.
Cut back to Alastor and the egg fellows who meet up with Zestial (who also has one of the hottest voices in the show like holy fuck, then again he's voiced by Ozzie's VA). Also people seem to be so scared of Zestial they either run away or the hurt themselves. Alastor and Zestial talk about how Alastor went missing for 7 years and is now working with the princess of hell or sumthin. They end up in a meeting for overlords where Rosie shows up but she says nothing. Also despite Alastor telling the egg sapiens to stay outside one of them ends up following him. Here we meet Carmilla who gathered the overlords to talk about protecting sinners from the extermiation or something. Then Velvette shows up because Vox and Val didn't wanna show up, and she reveals to the overlords a dismembered exorsist head. Then we get a song where Velvette and Carmilla duet and the song kinda slapped? I forgot most of the conversation tho. Then after the song Carmilla tells the Overlords to leave, and Alastor makes the egg man that followed him spy on Carmilla, and it turns out that she's the one that killed the exorsist but I forgot why she keeps it a secret. Also Carmilla and Zestial seem to be a thing. Then she gets a song that's also a duet with Vaggie which I also forgot what it's about.
Speaking of, Angel takes the crew to a BDSM club because of fucking course its a sex joke. Vaggie says no and then takes the crew to a turf war and makes them all fight against other sinners to make them learn how to trust one another??? It some how ends up working btw. Later on after the afromentioned duet Vaggie apologizes to Charlie but she says it's ok since Angel, Sir Pent, Husk, and Niffty seem to be chummy now now that they helped one another in that turf fight. Alastor returns with the eggs and Vaggie allows Sir Pent to have them back. The episode ends with Sir Pent and his eggs going to bed.
And that is the end of my Hazbin screening.
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reticent-writer · 3 months
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heyyy PLEASE I NEEDD Vox x teen! Reader. Where she’s like the Vee’s assistant, or Vox’s assistant or something like that and she sees Vox as a father figure? Tyy
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I like this alot
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿  
the most chaotic job in all of hell, like there is never a peaceful moment in the Vees tower. Someone is always yelling, something is always being broken, and you are in the middle of it. The peacemaker.
Your soul belongs to Vox but you assist all of the Vees. Your like 17/18. You were a hacker before you died, you hacked into the governments software and was killed for it.
You did the same thing to Vox but he didn't get mad instead he offered a secure home/job for your soul. (Seeing that everyone is dead that sounds silly but you shook his hand anyway)
If Vox isn't around to calm down Val and Velvette you're the next best thing. Valentino can talk your ears off as much as he wants and Velvette can use you as a model
In hell you can travel through electronics like Vox
Most of your time is spent with Velvette and Vox, mainly Vox. Vox has you do a lot of work that he trusts no one else with like going to the overlord meetings when no one else wants to
You are genuinely nice, like the other overlords wonder why you're working with the Vees
Your room doesn't have a door, so to get to your room you have to go through electronics to a backroom type of place. It's still in the Vees tower but no one but you or Vox and get to it.
Vox made it like this so if you wanted to be unbothered no one could even knock on your door.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚-Vox-˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
"Y/n are you awake."
You heard Vox from inside your room. You zapped you phone knowing that Vox you feel it. Basically saying you were getting up.
It took you 15 minutes to get ready before you teleported to the monitor room to find Vox watching random sinners on his big screen.
"I'm up, sir."
He dramatically spun his chair to face you.
"I hope it's been a hellish morning so far, what's on today's schedule."
You pulled out your phone and started to read off it, "the day doesn't start until 1 which is when the early talk show starts ot lasts until 3, at 5-7 is a game show, Velvette s show starts at 7, Valentino's live streaming a BDSM thing at 8, late night talk show at 10."
You looked at the time it was 8 am.
"Well since I'm free why don't we work on your mega computer." He offered. He likes how your face lit up and without wasting a second you dragged him to one of the quietest rooms in the building. In it was a desktop with a few wires connected to it.
Your mega computer was a project you started after you sold your soul. You hope it can connect to heaven one day and who is Vox to stop you.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚-Velvette-˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
You were in Fox's monitor room untangling cords.
"Y/N COME HERE." Velvette yelled at you through her phone.
You sighed as you stopped what you were doing and turn went through one of the many TVs.
"Yes, Vel." You smiled, clearly Vox was rubbing off on you.
"Something is missing with this outfit, tell me what it is." She pointed you in the direction of a mannequin with a outfit in your preferred style.
"( ̄ヘ ̄)ᵁᴹᴹ a (whatever you want)."
She hummed and with a snap of her fingers it appeared.
"Better right?"
"Yes."
"Good it's yours, take it" she snapped again and the outfit was in your hands, "no go put it on, I wanna see it."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, put it on."
-It looked amazing-
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚-Valentino-˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
"Vox said your not aloud in the studio so the least your could do is read the script." He said as he handed you a think packed.
"Jailbird gets hard time" you read loud in disgust, "do you really think I should be reading this?"
He scoffed, "oh please it's not like I can't see your browser history. A03, wattpad, Quotev, fanfiction.net the list goes on."
You stared at him in disbelief.
"What... Aww is someone embarrassed." He squished your cheeks. Your face was beat red.
"Aw, Chiquita, I don't judge. You should see the more kinky scrips."
"Oh no thanks. I think I hear Vox calling me. Bye." You reached his pocket for his phone and with a poor you were gone.
After that you made it so no one could see any of your activity.
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿  
A/n: I don't like Valentino. I love his voice tho
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Hazbin Hotel Headcanons pt 2
(With a sprinkle of 'Helluva Boss')
the Vices and the Goetias are some sort of uncles and aunts for Charlie, so this means...
... Stolas used to babysit Charlie when she was little and from that experience, he realized he could be a better father than his own...
... Bee totally organized the best birthday parties for Charlie (especially after Lilith left)
... Charlie was one of the first person Asmodeus told her about his relationship with Fizzarolli and she was really happy when they came out as a couple
Charlie managed to convince the elevator guys to let Vaggie visit the rest of Hell in occasion for her first birthday as her girlfriend: in that occasion, they had dinner at Ozzie's, Charlie improvised a duet with Fizz that made Vaggie laugh out loud and then they moved to the party Bee organized for her (Vaggie wasn't immune to Bee's charm and when she realized Charlie had noticed it, she felt ashamed by that, but her girlfriend shrugged because 'Aunt Bee always does this effect to introvert people' and everything turned out okay)
Vaggie had a crush on Lute when she first joined the Exorcist Army, but it didn't last for long... that being sad, it hurt knowing Lute was the responsible for her fall
after it was revealed the Extermination would have been in six months, Vaggie got drunk and started commiserating herself for not being a good girlfriend for Charlie. Husk tried to comfort her, saying that she was the princess's anchor because he heard Charlie saying that (and he has a pair eyes) when Vaggie dropped his secret... the morning after she talked with Husk (in spanish to not be understood by others) and he assured her he would have not revealed the secret because he was none of his business...
... unfortunately spanish is similar to italian and Val occasionally speaks spanish, so Angel asked him what was this big secret Vaggie was trying to hide and Husk told him it was something stupid, nothing important... of course he revealed the truth after the couple came back from Heaven
Lucifer actually cooked pancakes for everyone after the hotel was rebuilt and then spent the next days making personalized ducks for everyone...
... yeah, he even did one for Alastor and agreed to co-parent Charlie in absence of Lilith (Alastor took the duck because 'why not? It's not bad', but then he didn't know how to feel about the other thing because he didn't like to get attached to all the Hotel gang and this was going against his plan)
living in the 40s and 50s means that sometime Vox says some mysoginistic, racist or homophobic stuff, but Valentino and Velvette are always ready to point that out... luckily, Vox is willing to learn and has a long list of the things he can say and he can't say
when they first met, Val started flirting with Vox but Vox was walking eteronormativity due to his upbringing and dismissed his avances...
... but Val had the feeling Vox wasn't straight and after seeing his reaction to the news that Judy Garland had died after he arrived in Hell, he was happy to be right
Then Vox told him that he suppressed his feelings for men all his life and Val offered him to make up for the lost time... and that's how their on and off relationship began
after episode 4, Angel always received flowers and sweets at the studio from the Hotel gang in order to show him support (Val doesn't know that, he thinks those are just presents from Angel's fans)
Lucifer didn't immediately understand Angel's gender, so he tried with female pronouns and when Angel replied, he believed he was a girl until Charlie told him he was male. Actually Angel wasn't really bothered because Lucifer was the only one to use female prounons for him and not in a derogatory way, so sometimes Lucifer still uses them for him
The movie Angel showed to the Hotel gang was the last movie he did before his relationship with Val started to crack... that's why he got so mad when Husk critized it...
... after episode 4, Angel realized Husk did indeed watched some of his movies and Husk admitted he watched a few of his first movies and those are better than the new ones (the new ones as the ones he did with Val) and Angel was happy that someone still remembered those, where plot and quality still mattered
Alastor actually ships Huskerdust! He was the first to notice Husk's attraction to Angel and told the bartender they would have been such a cute couple despite their differences... Husk didn't know how to feel, but at least he was happy Alastor didn't meddle when he and Angel started to get closer
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thepenguinwriter · 3 months
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°• The main cast + Lucifer ♡ Wholesome Lust •°
°• Fem!succubus!reader •°
~ Contains; fem!succubus!reader (obv), spoilers for ep 6 (at Vaggie's part), vague mention of Valentino, mention of depression, wholesomeness, all relationships platonic except for Lucifer's
~ All gifs from @/atttwoood (except for the Lucifer one)
~ Small tw; possible eyestrain/bright colours for the gifs
°• Charlie •°
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- ♡ She's absolutely DELIGHTED to meet another hellborn
- ♡ Especially someone from a different ring
- ♡ She may be the Princess of Hell but she, surprisingly, doesn't travel her realm much
- ♡ She loves hearing about your culture, which is why you often end up telling her stories
- ♡ And we know demons from Lust are the only ones who have Asmodean crystals and are able to traverse to the human realm
- ♡ When she finds out, she squeals and begs to hear tales about what life on Earth is like
- ♡ She knows nothing at all about it apart from the tales of creation, but that is not much
- ♡ You don't believe hellborn demons can be redeemed, but you stay at the hotel. For her sake.
°• Vaggie •°
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- ◇ Oh boy, was she MAD when you showed up at the hotel
- ◇ She's a fallen angel, she knows jackshit about different culture in Hell, so she is absolutely confused when you tell her you were born in Hell
- ◇ She thought Charlie was special for that??
- ◇ You explain that you're a succubus, to which she can only become more defensive
- ◇ All she's heard of your kind were dreadful stories about you sucking life out of men in their sleep, or something along those lines..
- ◇ She only agrees to let you in after her dearest, Charlie convinces her
- ◇ It was after a stressful day when you were both alone in the hotel parlor, sitting in silence
- ◇ You were fidgeting with a strange ring so she asked you about it
°• "Oh, this? It's an Asmodean Crystal!" •°
- ◇ After the confusion for her wore off you explained to her what they were for, and she listened in stunned silence
- ◇ A demon able to go to the living world? How is that even possible?!
- ◇ Whenever you return from a visit to the human world, you always bring her a small trinket
- ◇ She coos quietly and gives you a hug. She hates to admit it, but she's warmes up to you.
°• Angel Dust •°
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- ♡ The first thing that caught his attention was the fact that you were from the Lust ring
- ♡ He immediately started questioning you about what it's like there
- ♡ Given his circumstances with Val, he was shocked to hear how nice you described it
- ♡ He always jokes with you about him actually belonging there, but he really does wish he could go with you for a visit
- ♡ But of course, sinners are stuck in the Pride ring. Bummer.
- ♡ You always make sure to bring him something from your home ring though if you visit
- ♡ A little knick-knack, if you will
- ♡ He's even more intrigued when you tell him about the Asmodean Crystals
- ♡ He pesters you with questions constantly about how the world is currently going
- ♡ You can't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm.
°• Alastor •°
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- ♤ Oh, what's this? A hellborn demon?
- ♤ He is INTRIGUED
- ♤ He isn't a big conversation starter, so he only ever talks to you when you come to him
- ♤ But he enjoys your company quite a lot, actually
- ♤ He, like Charlie, loves hearing about your culture and myths surrounding it
- ♤ He isn't really interested in the Lust ring itself, but you make it sound so good it's hard not to listen
- ♤ One morning he invites you to drink tea with him
- ♤ It was then that he noticed your unusual ring and asked about it
- ♤ When I tell you he is fascinated, I'm understating it
- ♤ But he isn't interested in prying about the living world like Angel
- ♤ In his opinion, technology has ruined many things already
- ♤ You roll your eyes a bit at his dramatic speech, but a smile is plastered on your face.
°• Husk •°
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- ♤ In all honesty, he does not care a single bit about where you came from
- ♤ As long as you don't bother him, you're alright in his book
- ♤ You often come to the bar and talk to him, which is why he knows so much about you against his will
- ♤ You absolutely tell him embarrasing things you've seen humans do while drunk
- ♤ You might even try seducing him if you're really wasted, but he shuts that off quickly
- ♤ He starts seeing a lot of similarities between you and Angel
- ♤ You're basically the more mentally stable version
- ♤ He doesn't pry about your life at all
- ♤ He's just glad to have a... somewhat stable drinking buddy
°• Niffty •°
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- ◇ Niffty's just a clueless chaotic gremlin
- ◇ She's very curious and asks a lot of questions, but you bet your ass when you start answering, if she sees a bug she will run off without hesitation
- ◇ Girlie's attention span doesn't exist
- ◇ She's trying, but she can't help it
- ◇ But one thing that REALLY interests her is your weird, shiny ring...
- ◇ The whole time you're telling her about it, she's staring at it with the BIGGEST sparkling eyes
- ◇ She keeps it safe from the other residents because she views it as such a special thing
- ◇ She's CONSTANTLY cleaning it too, to keep it bright and shiny!
°• Sir Pentious •°
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- ◇ To be honest, he's been here for such a long time and he's still SO DAMN CLUELESS about everything
- ◇ He's so interested when you tell him you're from the Lust ring
- ◇ Mostly because he has literally no idea what you're talking about
- ◇ You tell him everything and you see his gaze gradually lighting up more and more until they're as bright as christmas lights
- ◇ He probably did not notice your crystal ring at all actually
- ◇ But after you explain it, he can't talk about anything else
- ◇ He CONSTANTLY, and I do mean constantly, pesters you with questions about the Lust ring, the human world, being a succubus, etc. In his own awkward way
- ◇ Man is so awkward he just does not know when to stop
- ◇ You're so interesting to him, he cherishes you more than anyone else.
°• Lucifer •°
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- ☆ Lucifer never thought he'd find love again
- ☆ Especially from someone who's hellborn
- ☆ But here you were - a simple succubus, sweeping the King of Hell off his feet
- ☆ He could only hope his second wife wouldn't leave him like Lilith...
- ☆ You, surprising to him, are very understanding regarding his trauma and depression
- ☆ Hearing you talk enthusiastically about your home ring always brings the biggest smile onto his face
- ☆ Meeting your new step-daughter was quite awkward at first, but you got along surprisingly well
- ☆ You take him to visit the Lust ring on special occasions
- ☆ He is always amazed, no doubt
- ☆ For a long time, he thought all of Hell was a mistake, all his fault
- ☆ But ever since he met you, he's glad he offered the apple to Eve.
Hello my dear readers! I tried a new format, what do yall think? 👀 anyway this took me SO long, like literally 3 hours or smth so. Hope u enjoy!
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