#Ugh. So many possibilities
Note
You know, I've been thinking. The stars in our world often look quite dim, especially in areas where there is light pollution. Suddenly, I'm imagining that in the Imposter!AU, the Creator looks at the stars at night, captivated by their brilliance. Perhaps Scaramouche or Mona (Whichever you prefer, you may also just write another character you think fits this scenario :D) find them. The Creator looks at them, then back at the stars.
"They're very lovely, you know? The stars never shine this brightly back home. It's a lovely sight..."
They smile. "I'm happy that I'm able to see them, even if it's in another world. I appreciate you letting me look at them before I die."
Perhaps the character takes pause... And sits next to them.
It's a lovely night.
in the stars
word count: ~1k
-> warnings: violence, blood, both of those in your future so technically you’re not hurt yet, not written for mona mains, sorry, didn’t work with the plot :/ also diona/klee/qiqi/nahida/sayu mains are on thin ice with this one. questionable plot. barely edited.
-> lowercase intended
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie
< masterlist >
the stars never lie.
mona clutches her catalyst to her chest, wide eyes turned to the sky. she whispers to them, hoping they’ll change, shift into something she’ll understand, anything.
they don’t.
her head lowers, inspecting the book. thrilling tales, the spine reads, the cover a simplified dragon with a sword through it. she tries to read into it, to try and pick apart the motives behind the weapon, but all it returns is a simple needlepoint.
a compass. one she’d followed ever since she caved into the pull on her catalyst, one she’d followed out of the city at dusk and into the plains, hiking up starsnatch cliff at its behest. her twin tails had lost some of their curl on the journey, her hat flopping sadly. it was late, later than she’d normally be awake, and she stumbled once on a rock before quickly catching herself, checking to make sure you hadn’t moved.
you, sat at the peak of the cliff. you, surrounded by cecelias, face turned to the stars. you, who turned at her short cry.
“are you alright?”
she couldn’t bring her hands to shift her catalyst into its attack position. her hands, free from their usual gloves, dug into the cover of the book, shaking both with the chill of night and with… she couldn’t tell, couldn’t pin whether it was fear or nervousness, or something else that blurred the line between panic and excitement.
“just fine, thank you.”
her voice was harsher than it should have been. she could tell you were being genuine, the way the water in the air shaped around you like it wanted to cling made that clear enough, the stars shining down on you as if you were the only being on the planet.
the stars never lie. so why were they saying you meant no harm?
you turned back to the stars, your hands shifting back to weave into the grass between the cecelias.
"they’re very lovely tonight. the stars, i mean. they never shine this brightly back home….” against her better judgement, mona glanced up. the sky was particularly clear, constellations shining down unhindered. “it’s a beautiful sight.”
orders from the knights echoed in mona’s head, orders extended from a god she’d never met. she knew the knights wholeheartedly meant what they said, truly believing the words they were told, but you…
hesitantly, she brought her hand in a circle in front of her, scrying for your constellation. you didn’t have one, unsurprisingly, and she relaxed slightly in the knowledge that you didn’t have a vision.. still, there was something strange about the empty space where yours would have been. swapping the sigils and rotating the outer edge, mona decided to read your future.
all the air was sucked from her lungs, the images depicted in the water making her mouth dry. the water warped and bubbled a dark color, as if it itself hated to show what it did.
you were on your knees, tight steel chains wrapped around you and latched onto hooks in whatever you were sitting on. in front of you stood the favored, the creator’s most prized, their weapon drawn. their form was taught with anger, nearly seething. it was strange, so uncharacteristic that it froze the astrologist in place for a moment.
no matter how fiery the disposition, vessels of yours were calmer after being wished upon, heart stiller for being by your side. they, the most prominent on your team of them all, should be at most handling such a severe situation with a tick in their jaw and quiet fury in their eyes, not…
she watched with sick horror as the favored attacks once, your chest caving once, twice with hitched attempts at breathing before you slumped over, blood trickling from your neck. the favored stepped back, weapon dismissed, and mona closed the illusion before it played any further. she hadn’t meant to look all the way to your death, only a few-
…only a few hours.
her hands shake where they’re still clasped in front of her, the remains of her scrying circle swirling in her palms. you didn’t even have a day.
she let the water fall, sending it towards the cecelias around you, willing them to stand brighter as she approached. she couldn’t bring herself to summon her catalyst, not now that she knew what your fate held.
the grass was damp beneath her, seeping slightly into her nightclothes. you didn’t say anything, simply passing her a flower that you had been twirling in your palms. she willed it to heal, restored the color to its petals and the strength to its stem, then passed it back. she had no use for it, not when you…
you chuckled as you took it, staring down at it for a moment before turning skyward once more. mona followed your eyes up, spotting a well known constellation directly above you. nearly perfectly straight up, glowing like a beacon, was the constellation of the favored, six stars making themselves prominent against the dotted sea of night.
“beautiful, isn’t it?”
she swallowed, eyes flicking down to you. you were still watching the stars, probably tracing the shape of the constellation above you. unknowing of what it spelled for your fate, unknowing of the warning written above you.
mona settled into the grass a little more, taking her hat off her head so it wouldn’t fall when she looked up again.
“indeed, it is.”
#genshin sagau#genshin self aware au#self aware genshin#sagau#genshin#sagau impostor au#genshin impact#mona#mona megistus#sagau mona#sagau mona megistus#another fool with too many names smh#ANYWAY anon you are so right actually#and with mona? her character is criminally underutilized (i’m a criminal as well)#she can instantly tell intentions; tell truths from lies; literally just a scroll through her wiki lore page aiskksjd SHES SO INTERESTING#like…….. ugh….. i don’t have as good a grasp on her character as i’d like to because she’s so cool… so interesting and so many POSSIBILITIES#meant to post this forever ago sorry#but my mind made me write a 6k piece on the fatui harbingers soo…. :))#yeah i’ve been. i started a new project that can’t really be posted bc it’s vvvv self indulgent so requests are even further sidelined UGH#mmmm procrastinating requests even though i have no reason to
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the dog–coded bucky fic is officially a wip btw <3
#i have four parts envisioned but i'm the slowest writer in history#so we'll see how that goes but ugh i have so many ideas for this#1300 words and it feels like it's only just started so#i don't even wanna thinkkkk about how long this is gonna be lol#i know that i'm gonna wanna get this as perfect as possible#as close to what i'm envisioning as i can possibly put into words#so it's probs gonna be a while before it's done rip#dog coded bucky fic#johnslittlespoon brainrot#buckbucky#buck x bucky
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"Found out"
set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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I'm so ashamed of myself. I have done so much research for the 1930s noir fic and yet I missed this. I could have made them live through an extremely cold time, like, some of the most extreme weather in New York. February 1934. But nooo. I'm past that. I'm in early 1935. Fuck damn it.
#a biscuit's rambles#why didnt i research the weather earlier??? ive looked up incredibly specific stuff before#this is like the fifth time im googling the date of a jewish holiday in the 1930s to get a vague time frame#why didnt i think of the weather sooner?????#i am. SO. ANNOYED. at myself. it would have been PERFECT. make them almost freeze and stuff#UGH. so many opportunities and possibilities. make them even more bitter than before at all the suffering#like COME ON#i was TOTALLY SLEEPING ON THAT I AM AN IDIOT#my fics#waaaait i could just shove a oneshot in there. i can write a oneshot about such a situation. okay fuck yeah ik what im doing#rant is over i have found an alternative
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idk I just hate how mean everyone is, especially my generation :(
#Yeah yeah ik it has always been this way#And probably always will be#But damn people are just cold and hateful for no good goddamn reason#And social media certainly isn’t helping#I just feel so embarrassed when I’m out and I’m wearing anything that’s not general clothing#I’m always so afraid someone will take a pic or photo of me and post it on social media to laugh at me#And honestly it probably has already happened a few times#For example in middle school I didn’t have earbuds at the time (I refuse to use those devil airpods)#So I would have my music at the lowest volume possible and put it up at my ear to listen to it#Since 5th grade I’ve been a huge fan of Vocaloid and I’ve been listening to it non-stop for years#And I’d do it at school and…#Yeah you can probably guess how kids were#Wouldn’t be surprised if that got filmed/photographed#And I’ve been mocked/humiliated so many times for being autistic ugh#Vent#emma.txt
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if will has to be the one to teach el what homophobia is when she asks him why he lied or didn't tell her about mike or even something as innocuous as the painting then please know that i WILL be passing away because noah is going to put his entire schnappussy into channeling the bone-deep ache of every repressed gay kid that grew up in a conservative environment, was abandoned by a parent for their sexuality, and that has had to hide who they are if they wanted to survive, to deliver the performance of a damn Lifetime
#and millie's face... when el learns that it isn't the same thing#that el can talk about mike and miss him openly but will can't even give him a painting bc it could come off#the wrong way and he never wanted to hurt her and he's so sorry and so on and so forth#AND IF EL HITS HIM WITH AN 'I UNDERSTAND' BECAUSE SHE DOES! SHE WAS THERE WHEN TROY SAID WHAT HE SAID!#WHEN MIKE GOT SO ANGRY AND HELD BACK HIS TEARS AS HE CHARGED FORWARD TO SHOVE HIM!#SHE UNDERSTANDS NOW! AND SHE'S SORRY TOO!#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#imagine if el finds out in will's mind bc henry reveals that fact to try and divide them but it backfires#will feels enough guilt n shame tht he tries to pull away but el won't let him bc he's her brother and she loves him#as a parallel to when he was there to help her pick up the pieces when angela humiliated her yknow#UGH S5 JUST HAS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE#mine
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It would just be so easy for Steel to start behaving overtly controlling and War-minded at literally any point (seeking control and owning up to what that means) and at that point it would become easy to dislike her and her sway over Suvi but that's not the POINT, she is GENUINELY wise and so, so brilliant and she loves Suvi so truly and she is infuriatingly level headed and sincere in her efforts to help and so very kind, and I love her character more than I can adequately put into words and the inevitable clash of ideals, the rift that will and must develop, is going to destroy me. Because I genuinely don't know if Steel could choose Suvi over the empire and in fact I think it's pretty clear that she wouldn't, but that does not diminish the love she has for Suvi and the two things being true simultaneously have me biting the air. Steel is a goddamn masterclass in examining characters who act from fundamentally kind intent within a twisted framework of lifelong indoctrination and beliefs that have taught her a distorted view of what that should look like. Bringing the empire's light to the world is the ultimate kindness to her, and she wants nothing more than to be a key part of the mechanism by which that will happen. Because it will happen. And we're not told this, we're shown a brilliant and devoted mother figure who will stop at nothing to make a better world in the image of the empire her life belongs to.
Every single time something goes wrong with Ame and/or Eursulon (and even Suvi) I brace for the kind of overbearing "us VS them" mentality that never comes. She genuinely wants collaboration and answers so she can help. she very much means well, as do they all. It compels the absolute hell out of me.
#I want steel to come with Suvi on this eventual journey#But she has been installed as the very right arm of the establishment#And though she more than most wizards would hear out the turmoil the empire's existence is causing others#There is no future where its dissolution is something she agrees to#If not dissolution is the empire itself the removal of its place of authority#She means so well to be balanced and fair but she will be blind to the inherent threat and imbalance going on here#And it's very likely nothing will move her#So basically I'm setting myself up for abject heartbreak but I love her so much#wbn spoilers#Wbn#suvirin kedberiket#The wizard steel#Steel wbn#I'm learning I might be a tragedy enjoyed#I never thought that was possible bc I found tragedies depressing for no reason#But what I'm starting to see is that the efforts are what make the tragedy hit the way it does#It only matters because everyone cared so much#Everyone was doing their best#It was inevitable it could have been avoided at so many points but everyone cared too much#Ugh god okay sleep time
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the berlin gig is two days away and my anxiety is now going through the roof. i feel sick to my stomach and part of me wants to bail and not go at all. i hate this
#i knew this would happen...#i want to be excited#but instead i feel like throwing up#ugh#the thought of going there alone is freaking me out so much#and i've also never been to a concert before#and i'm the kind of person who needs as many information as possible beforehand#so i can (mentally) prepare myself for it#so not knowing how exactly everything is going to be like#doesn't help my nerves either#anyway it's past 3 am here i'm going to sleep#before i drive myself completely crazy#käärijä
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Make dirkjake disappear forever from my tumblr area please. this is a beautiful garden and jake english is the pest that keeps infesting it no matter how hard i tend to the garden. Google how do you kill parasites forever
#my post#just feeling extra hater rn my bad#it pissed me off so much when i have as many possible filters for something and block people constantly but stilk SEE THE THING I DONT WANNA#SEE OH MY GOd ok. ugh im exploding golgothasterror with my eyeballs
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sibling bonding 💞
#braiding is a Very Important skill to have#according to el#and will is taking it very seriously#he’s determined#ugh i love them#and frankly we were robbed#i hope to see some good willel content in s5#so many possibilities#will byers#el hopper#el hopper byers#eleven hopper#she has so many names wtf#stranger things#stranger things 4#technically#my art#willel#i’m tagging#byler#but also#mileven#because we need more appreciation for this duo#and target audience and all that
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distracting myself with jance kinda works except now i'm just... yeah
#idk it's a mix of so many things#also i keep having that feeling that... my presence isn't that needed?#which i'm aware is *a lie* okay i know some people care about me#i'm just having a hard time with my brain lately#also i'm like painfully aware it's not fun to be around someone like this like i try to keep stuff as normal as possible but...#idk i need to vent because if i don't i'll explode i appreciate all your love and messages ALWAYS i just ugh#maybe i needed a third jan hug lol#personal
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and tbh the time skip in switch and knights climax events is what makes me the most mad of it all. "oh true hmm maybe i should've added foreshadowing earlier for my acid-trip plot to work hmm well ill start the story at the beginning of the year and then do a bunch of timeskips" no you absolute idiot you are going to write your stupid story on the foundations you built before or ill kill you
#like honestly even if the characters interactions are good#the plot is just too much. it makes me mad#i havent read either story yet but by principle im not too fond tbh#ughh#you'd think after the story released i would be less anxious about knights climax but nooo#honestly i cant think of much of a reason to read it besides maybe nice izlo#but that. is not really what i look for in a tsukasa event you know............#and since he for some reason had that tour this year itll take an eternity till his next event sighs#but well he is a sweet and charming and lovely and honest boy im sure the story will be good for him regardless..........#but im still mad tf. so many possible plot threads and he had to go and make up an entire new thing ugh#mar's midnight rambles
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Currently in love with the relationship between the Grey Wardens and being doomed by the narrative, especially with how the HOF subverts that relationship so here's a 3am rant about it. Enjoy!
The wardens are ghosts. They are born by letting go of everything you had before and drinking poison to bind your fate to the darkspawn and promise that your life and perhaps more importantly, your death belongs to them. The whole joining is a terrifying experience, you're drinking the blood of monsters and seeing a corrupt god in your mind and waking up to see those who died around you and being told you'll meet the same fate soon enough you've just been given more time to get there because to sacrifice, to die is a warden's purpose. Even if you survive becoming a warden, your best case scenario is sacrificing yourself to end the blight but it's far more likely you'll die fighting darkspawn or even more likely lose your mind and have to go to the deep roads to be lost and have your death be your last act of defiance in the face of this overwhelming wave of evil waiting to rise again. The best thing that can happen to a warden is to die in a meaningful way because you gave away your life the moment you drank that blood. All you are now is a soldier waiting to die in war and hopefully take the enemy down with you. It is tragic and haunting and noble and so full of grief. Grief for the live you gave behind and for the one you'll never have. Every warden spends every day of their life hoping not for a future or any life for themselves but simply to make their death mean something which is an incredibly interesting mental state and I could go on about how that effects individuals and messes with their values so that corruption is rife but what started this whole thing is Fereldan.
A wonderful post by @sapphim (which I don't know how to cite but I wanna give credit so if there's a way please tell me) discussed how beneficial it was for the wardens that the fifth blight occured in Fereldan and how much they lost by it being solved so soon. To put it simply, they wanted to sacrifice Fereldan as a lost cause and use it as an example of why they wardens shouldn't be neglected. They wanted it to be known of how much of a sacrifice they make an how important their duty by letting the country of Fereldan be an example of what happens when no one is there to do it and that the narrative has doomed everyone, that the world's crimes will be paid for unless someone is willing to be selfless and bear the burden to give the world another chance. Andraste would have been a great warden I'm sure. In the eyes of the warden, Fereldan is tainted just like their blood, it is promised to the darkspawn just like they are, willingly or not it bears the duty that all wardens do and must make the sacrifice they do too. For the greater good. To stop the darkspawn. It's better you having a death that matters than a life that lasts. This is the psychology of the wardens and they are applying those same beliefs to all of Fereldan. Why must they be the only ones doomed by the narrative? There is no surviving this story and there is saving the world there is only killing the darkspawn before it kills you. Thedas is at war with the archdemons and until they're all dead, there is no peace, there is only preparing for the next battle. There is no building a life, no building a country, there is nothing to protect because it is all doomed.
The way duty and sacrifice and the promise of the Grey Wardens must alter their values and perspective on life is fascinating and there is so much to explore here but what's important for this post is that the foundation of their entire order is that they are already dead.
This then brings us to the HOF and cheating death. Duncan is like the grim reaper in Origins the way he comes and snatches your soul at the end of each origin which I honestly love and it ties in so well to the idea that wardens are ghosts given you die in every other version of the story without him but that's the story of all wardens. They all die a symbolic death at the joining so that's okay but then Ostogar happens. Flemeth happens. You should have died. Fereldan should have been lost. Remember, the duty of the wardens is dying not surviving but you did survive, snatched away by a god. Every other warden has died thinking their paying the price for an absent god yet this goddess not only favours you, she changed fate for you. Every other warden throughout history has paid the price but not you. Not Fereldan. You get to cheat the fate while it dooms everyone else. Can you imagine how that must have felt for the other wardens? How much they must hate the hero for stealing the martyr Fereldan was set to be and making all their losses naught but a tragedy when it could have been so much more? Not only did you escape your own death but you stole the value of theirs. You survived which goes against everything the wardens are made for.
Going even further than that, you have the dark ritual where you can actively choose to cheat death again. When every other warden has had to give their life, had to sacrifice and lose and grieve and poison their humanity as they did their bodies, you get to escape it all. Wardens have struggled for decades to have a foothold in Fereldan but you'll go so far as to choose their ruler for them without any consultation. You have been a warden less than a year, ended a battle that they prepared for over hundreds of years and sacrificed more hundreds of years fighting in the past and not only have you defied everything they defined themselves by, you have made them look like fools and decided their fate for them. You have stolen the meaning of the death of every warden, you have stolen their martyrs and the justifications for their actions and by keeping your own life and humanity, by resisting their poison you have made them all look like monsters.
The hero was doomed by the narrative as all wardens are but they rewrote fate, they stole their life back so many times and by surviving, they created a whole new narrative that ruined everything the wardens were built upon. The wardens were made to be ghosts, not heroes. They're meant to die and be remembered nobly so they can be redeemed for they had to do to get there but not you hero. You get to shame us all, don't you?
#I have work in like 5 hours but it is my duty to share my madness with you all#UGH I need to make more warden OCs#I can't fix him but I can become equally corrupt by his side#There are so many ideas in here I can't wait to elaborate on over the next few days/weeks/lifetime#Anyway good night y'all#Also hi Saph it was me thank you for encouraging this#Got a good grade in anon something both normal to want and possible to achieve#GOODNIGHT#dragon age origins#dragon age#ramblings#grey wardens#doomed by the narrative#idk how to tag things but I hope people see this I want to hear ideas#Rubbing my hands together and giggling like a goblin thinking of all the potential warden content#I'M GOING TO BED NOW BYE BYE
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My last post of the night 😊 (technically it's already the next day but ssshh we don't need to talk about that) I had a truly wonderful anniversary today, thank you all for your kind words on my painting and just in general!
I'm happy to take a day to celebrate my beautiful husband, but rexposting is all year round babey!! So keep your eyes peeled for more 💙🫶💙
#jane journals#self insert talk#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#waaahh MY PARTNER AND I JUST GOT DONE WATCHING THE BAD BATCH ARC IN SEASON 7 😭😭😭#theres so so many amazing rex moments in it!! (and plenty of wrecker ones for her too 🤭🤭💖💖)#but god it REALLY is just about rex and about his relationship to his men#echo is especially close to him but also represents his love for ALL the 501st#echo was a second chance for him. he finally got the chance to get a life BACK instead of losing one#and when rex lets him go with tbb in the end....😭😭😭😭#the way his eyes kinda dart to the floor as he walks away before turning around#deep down he hoped that echo WOULD stay#this man has lost so much already#but he wanted echo to be the happiest he could possibly be. to thrive somewhere he'd be accepted#ugh 😭😭 sorry husband hours make me INSANE#i was also discussing some other rly sad things about rex and brea just prior to order 66 that ill probably make art for sjfkgkgkg#so stay tuned for that as well!!#i rly need to write like a comprehensive timeline of events 😅😅 that way i can pick and choose which ones to draw#my mind is a chain link fence....#ok goodnight i have work again tomorrow 🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶💖🫶
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One of the funniest things about any customer service job is when customers think you are supposed to care when they threaten to do business elsewhere. No customer service agent or low level manager has ever in their life cared if you are taking your business elsewhere. You are going against a corporation in a capitalist hell that doesn't care about you at all my dude, I don't know what you think telling me "I'm gonna take my business elsewhere" is gonna change. 🤷♀️
#I'm a supervisor and sooo many of my escalations people use this as a means to get me to do what they want#when i literally can't#so when i respond with 'ok if that's your decision'#you see really quick most of them don't actually mean that they just say it to get the rep to suck up to them#because moving someplace else is a hassle they don't want either#but if you don't already know front end reps and lower level management don't really have power#our job is literally to try and see if we can help or direct you#but we don't make the decisions#if i did my decision would be to do whatever i can to get you away from me as fast as possible :)#ok rant done#customer service#work bs#flapping my wings#ugh#i need a vacation
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edgar giving a little panther plushie to mike because mike can't sleep well alone and edgar isnt going to be around forever and and and
#^ guy who has too many photos of panther stuffed animals in his gallery#giving mike walters soft and nice things forever and ever (while constantly putting him in the worst scenarios possible sorry)#UGH im so normal about them i really really am#woe.begone
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